#stopped the attempts and he slept there every night after so he's a good boi
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♡ sweet nothing ♡
♡ Pairing: tattoo artist!ex boyfriend!chan x chubby!fem!tattoo artist!reader, best friend!stray kids
♡ Genre: angst/smut/fluff
♡ Summary: After a year abroad spent perfecting your craft, you decide to return to the shop that you started at to reconnect with the people you love but how will your friends react to your sudden return? And how will your ex feel when he finds out your back in town attempting to reclaim your place in his shop and maybe even his heart?
♡ Word Count: 5.8k-ish
♡ Warnings: chan's really down bad for you and the littlest bit posessive, strong language, unprotected sex, penetrative sex, male masturbation, creampie, oral sex (m&f receiving), overstimulation, a lil nipple play, orgasm control if you squint, pet names (beautiful, pretty, baby), a lil hair pulling, and that's about it.
♡ A/N: So somehow I've written myself into a series of sorts all taking place in one tattoo shop. Seungmin's here if you'd like to read it. I'll for sure be doing one for all of the boys because why not? This one's a lot more angsty than the other one but I had a nice time writing something different so, as always, I hope you enjoy it, babes.
You stand with your back to the night, casting your starry eyed gaze upon the soft white glow of the neon sign that hangs overhead. It reads Social Path Tattoos & Piercings. This place isn’t new to you, even if the nerves rattling through your system might imply otherwise.
You’re more than familiar with it. You used to spend every waking moment in this place. Even slept here a couple times when you were a bit too tipsy to drive. And coming back to it after a year overseas is surreal. You dreamed of this a thousand times before finally biting the bullet and hopping on the next plane back here. Back home.
You made it. Through the chaos of the airport, racing through crowds to make it to the Uber you may have called a little too soon. Through an hour of bumper to bumper traffic, listening to your driver give you dating advice you definitely didn’t ask for. Through a hell of a check in process at the hotel and lugging half your life up to the 8th floor of the lavish building.
You survived all of that to make it to this moment and you can’t even bring yourself to step inside. What if you aren’t welcome? What if the men you once called “family” consider you nothing more than a stranger now? It’s only been a year but so much has happened. There were so many tears the day you left, so much sadness—so much anger. Maybe you should’ve stayed away.
“Next time you have to get one. I’m telling you, it didn’t hurt at all” a tall girl with a septum piercing tells her friend as they exit the shop.
The shorter girl by her side stares at the fresh tattoo on her friend’s arm with equal amounts admiration and fear. “Liar. It’s needles stabbing through your skin. There’s no way that doesn’t hurt.”
Noticing the tattoos peeking out of your strappy crop top, the taller girl turns to you for some back up. “Tell her it doesn’t hurt,” she pouts.
In all your years as a tattoo artist you’ve never once lied to a client but you aren’t on the clock right now and can’t bring yourself to kill whatever glimmer of hope this girl might have of winning her friend over.
“It doesn’t hurt” you lie to her friend, knowing damn well that, while it isn’t torture, it’s far from painless. “It might sting a little but you’re tough. I can tell. You’ve got it.”
“Thank you” the tall girl smiles, holding the door open for you. “Headed in?”
“Uh…” you hesitate, chewing at your inner lip. There’s so much weight to that question. A weight she can’t possibly fathom. Swallowing your pride, you give her a smile and a nod, slipping into the shop.
“Have a good night!” the girls say kindly, going about their night and abandoning you in the doorway.
Breathing in deep, you take a few more steps before stopping to take in the scene around you. The shop is as alive as it's ever been, the lobby buzzing with customers busy picking out jewelry or waiting their turn to be seen.
The front desk is still straight ahead, marked by a small statue of an orange cat named Cheese. It’d been Minho’s idea to get it when you all went on a drunken flea market adventure and none of you were sober enough to shoot him down. The walls are still adorned with elegant, hand painted art courtesy of Hyunjin, the best photo realistic artist in the shop. The city even.
The checkered floors are the same, an expertly polished black and white patchwork to match the charcoal color of the walls. Even the couch you bought in from your apartment is still positioned in the corner where a bunch of college kids are currently lounging. A lot has happened on that couch. A lot more than they know. God you hope the boys have cleaned it.
Everything is just as you remember it but the energy’s something new entirely. It’s the contradiction of finding familiarity on an alien planet.
“You need something, babe?” the bubbly girl at the counter asks, waving you over. This is new. They used to force you to work the front desk on weekends, the guys alternating weekdays based on whoever lost at rock, paper, scissors. But now there’s a new face. She seems sweet though so you make your way over to her. At least one person’s happy to see you.
“Yes but no but yes? I guess” you ramble, indecision painted all over your face. Observing your appearance she doesn’t take you as the kind of girl to be hesitant about what she came to a place like this for but she comforts you nonetheless.
“It’s okay” she says, reaching out a sympathetic hand to touch yours, “Everyone gets nervous sometimes. I mean, I work here and even I almost freaked when I got my bellybutton pierced but it’s okay. You know what you wanna get done?”
“Actually, I’m not here to get anything done. I used to work here a long time ago and I just thought I’d drop by and see…”
“You’re fucking joking” a voice from your past interrupts. Before you even turn to look, you know exactly who that voice belongs to. Seungmin.
“It can’t be. I’m hallucinating” he gasps, clutching his chest. “A ghost? In our shop?”
You roll your eyes at the dramatics. You’ve missed them. “A ghost? Am I dead now? Is that what you consider me?” you sniffle, pretending to cry.
“Oh, my god. Stop it. Come here” he says, smiling bigger than you’ve ever seen. He throws his arms around you, squeezing you into the tightest hug. In an instant it melts away your worries of not being welcome here. This is the warmest you’ve ever seen Seungmin greet someone and you feel special for being the recipient.
“Squeeze me any tighter and I will be a ghost” you tease, pulling back the slightest bit to get some air. As you do you notice something new on his face. “When did this happen?” You marvel at the shiny silver jewelry decorating his eyebrow.
“You hate it don’t you?”
“Ssh, I don’t hate it. I like it. It’s cute.”
Seungmin blushes, rubbing his cheeks in a failed attempt to hide it. Out of the corner of your eye you catch the girl at the counter staring daggers through Seungmin’s soul. It’s easy to see that there’s something going on here and she doesn’t like him blushing over other girls.
“Ooh, someone’s got a girlfriend” you sing and the counter girl giggles. You can’t help but adore how sweet it is when Seungmin lights up at the sound of her laughter. But you can’t deny that it drags up bittersweet memories of when that was you and...
“Follow me. Everyone’s here tonight. I know they’ll be happy to see you” Seungmin says, ready to escape the lobby before his cheeks overheat from all the blushing. It’ll kill his reputation if the guys find out. He leads the way to the back, as if you need the guidance. You remember exactly where you’re going.
“So…” he sighs, feeling the weight of your return for the first time, “How was Japan?”
“Oh, it was wonderful. It’s beautiful over there and I learned so much from my apprenticeship. I was super nervous at first, you know? But everyone at the shop was…” You stop yourself short, fearful that your fond memories of your time there might come off as bragging. You may have had fun in Osaka but it still paled in comparison to the place you come from.
Seungmin picks up on it, glancing back at you to give you a comforting smile, “Hey, it’s okay. I’m happy…we’re happy that you did what you needed to do. It’s nice to have you back though. You are back, aren’t you?”
“I don’t know. That depends on what he says. You know how he was when I left.”
Seungmin says nothing, only nods. He knows oh too well how his best friend was when you left. And those months after spent stewing in a bitterness that only thinly masked the pain of losing you. He watched it play out until the sting had faded but only enough to pretend that things were okay when they weren’t.
“Yongbok, what’d you do with my kit?” Changbin shouts across the room, tearing his station apart in search of his prized possession.
A few stations away a busy Felix rises from his chair, directing his client towards one of the full body mirrors in the corner. “Why are you yelling at me? I don’t have your kit!”
“I’m not talking to you! I’m talking to him!” Changbin points a finger at a shocked I.N who’s been innocently prepping for the next person in line.
“You called my name!” Felix snaps and it dawns on Changbin that he’s been calling the wrong person.
Changbin fights himself not to laugh at his own mistake. He puts his head down, discovering his kit tucked away under his table. “Oh, I did, didn’t I?”
I.N querks an eyebrow at him, arms folded across his chest, “Why do you always do that? You can never call me the right name.”
“Because he’s old” Hyunjin mumbles under his breath, still loud enough for the others to hear. Changbin picks up a towel to throw at him but hesitates when he notices Hyunjin’s in the middle of a tattoo.
“It’s okay, old man,” Han teases, patting his friend on the back. Hyunjin might be busy but Han on the other hand is free enough to invade his personal space so it’s a slap on the back of the head for him.
“Can you guys be adults for a second? We have a guest” Seungmin announces but you hardly mind. This was what you missed while you were gone. No matter how kind the artists at the other shop were to you, they could never replace your boys. Even in their most chaotic moments there’s nowhere else you’d rather be.
Seungmin’s voice draws all of the attention in the room to you and everyone falls silent. If there’s anything else they needed to say the thoughts have evaporated in your presence. It’s quiet for long enough that you begin to worry. Thoughts creep back in that maybe this wasn’t the best idea. Seungmin may have been happy to see you but the others?
Just as you begin to doubt yourself, the room erupts in cheers and you find yourself at the center of the world’s biggest group hug. Their joy overflows as arms wrap around you, one set swapping out for another and then another swiftly enough to leave you dizzy.
“You’re back! Why didn’t you tell us? Ugh, I missed you” Han says, pinching your cheek in an act of cute aggression he simply cannot control.
Felix hugs you so that his cheek is flush against yours, “You’re staying, right? You have to stay.”
This is nothing that you expected it to be. You’re flooded with enough joy to make a girl cry and you can already feel the tears welling up, you’re right on the verge of it. A year of wondering if you’d made a mistake. A year of worrying that the people you loved hated you for your decision. All of those doubts are shedded in the arms of these seven men.
“What’s all this noise?” Chan groans, his eyes barely open as he steps out of his office, “I was trying to sleep for once.”
“Sleep? Shouldn’t you be working?” I.N says, never one to miss an opportunity to be a smartass.
Chan lets out a yawn, stretching those muscular arms you very vividly recall drooling over and on. “You’ll pay for that, kid. But seriously, what are you guys doing out here?”
The guys step away, gesturing towards you and his arms drop to his sides. Suddenly he’s reminiscent of a balloon at the end of a party, melancholy and deflated. You watch the light in his eyes die in real time and it makes you sick to your stomach to be looked at this way. It wasn’t always like this. In the old days he’d have you in his arms right now, showering you in kisses. But these aren’t the old days, no matter how badly you wish it were.
He starts in your direction, one slow, agonizing step of his black boots after another. He stops a few feet away from you as if some invisible barrier is keeping him at bay. His expression is hard as stone as he studies you like you’re a creature he’s never seen before.
“Hi” you manage in spite of the sudden lack of moisture in your mouth. You get the sense that you’re on trial for some horrible crime and Chan, the judge that he is, has no intention of offering you leniency.
“It’s really nice to see you. You look…good.” There’s such a softness in the way that you are with him. The wisp of a smile on your lips, the gentleness in your posture. You’re soft as a marshmallow for this man and the fire of his anger’s enough to burn you to a crisp.
“Chan, don’t be…” Changbin tries to reach his best friend but Chan snatches away, sparing you one last glance before disappearing into his office.
The door slams hard enough that the hinges creak and the wood seems to splinter. The others? They don’t hate you. In fact, they adore you with all of their hearts. But him? You’re positive he does and now you want to cry again but for a different reason altogether.
Han pats you on the back, bringing you close to him, “I’m about to work on my sketch for my next client. Will you help me?”
“I don’t know, Jisung. It might be better if I go.”
“What? No! You just got here!” Hyunjin pouts, his bottom lip quivering. “You’re really gonna walk out and leave some poor soul at the hands of his drawing skills?”
Hyunjin’s attempt at making you laugh works like a charm and a giggle escapes you.
“Does that mean you’ll stay?” he asks, poking his lip out even more.
“Yes, that means I’ll stay.”
“Yay!” Han cheers, grabbing onto your hand and dragging you over to his station.
He hops right into it, spilling all of the details about the tattoo and asking your opinion on it. At first you struggle to focus on helping him. As much as you want to, you can’t shake the mental picture of how Chan looked at you. He didn’t say a word but he didn’t need to. He said everything he felt without so much as parting his lips.
Periodically you find your gaze drifting over to his office door, the pit of your stomach twisted with the anxiety over his next appearance. But the door never opens, not even a crack, and before you know it you’re fully engrossed in helping Han work on his sketch. Your styles are different but he admires you as an artist and soaks in every drop of your input like a sponge.
As the night rolls on you find yourself at one station after another, helping the guys with what you can. You slip right back into their group dynamic with ease. It’s as if your spot was always here waiting for you to hop right back in. It’s like you never left. The minutes melt into hours and you find yourself lingering behind with them far beyond closing time.
“We’re all going out for drinks. You’re coming right?” Felix asks as you group filters out of the shop, filling up the space on the sidewalk.
“Yes, she’s coming. She doesn’t have a choice!” I.N answers before you have a chance to. The boys have already begun moving towards their destination and he drapes an arm around your shoulder to make sure you keep up.
“I’m coming” you laugh, tapping him on the back of the hand, “I do need to run back to my hotel and change first though.”
Changbin looks you up and down, finding not a single thing wrong with your current fit. “Why? You look beautiful.”
As flattered as you are, there’s no way you’re going out on the town in a crop top and a pair of sweatpants. You might not be planning on switching into a ballgown but a change of wardrobe is definitely in order.
You bat your eyelashes, grateful for the compliment, “Sweet but no. I still need to change. Just text me where you’re going.” Reaching into your pocket for your phone, you realize you must’ve left it behind. “Shit, I left my phone.”
They all pause, prepared to turn back and help you find it. “We’ll just go back and grab it” Han insists but you shut him down, not wanting to delay their plans.
“It’s okay, really. I’ll just grab my phone and I’ll meet you there in a few.”
I.N opens his mouth to protest but you throw a hand over it before he can speak. “I’m not a baby, you guys. I got it. I’ll be quick, I swear.”
Shared glances between the seven of them play out a silent conversation that you aren’t in on. They want to look after you, especially after you being so far away for so long, but you’re stubborn and they know you won’t give in no matter what they say.
“Fine” Seungmin relents, “If you aren’t there in an hour we’re coming to get you!”
“Yeah and we’ll raid your hotel room, eat up all your snacks…” Han throws in for extra impact.
“I’ll be there. I swear! One hour!” you promise, skipping back towards the shop.
“An hour!” Hyunjin shouts after you, waiting until you’re safely back inside to continue on.
Inside the shop the lights are turned down, not completely off but dimly lit enough that you almost trip on your way to the back. You frantically search every station—in things, under them—but your phone’s nowhere to be found.
“Fuck, where is it?” you shout in frustration.
Standing in the middle of the floor, you take a deep breath and contemplate where it could be. You were at Han’s station first and then you went to sit with Felix for a bit but Changbin called you to the front for something. That’s it. Maybe it’s there.
You turn to jog back up front when a sound from behind you stops you in your tracks. It’s the sound you’ve been dreading all night. The slow creaking of the door to Chan’s office. Your heart almost stops dead in your chest. You’re frozen, stuck right where you are. You can’t even bring yourself to turn around when you feel the weight of something on your shoulder.
“Looking for this?” he asks, tapping you on the shoulder with your phone.
Hesitantly, you take it, turning to find yourself face to face with the man you used to call yours. Chan seems less angry now but his nose is red and his eyes are puffy. You can tell from the gloss dancing on the surface of them that he’s been crying.
“Thanks. Sorry for leaving it behind, I didn’t mean to—”
“Why are you here?” He asks the question so bluntly that you’re stunned, unsure how to respond.
“I don’t understand—”
“Why’d you come back? I thought you were confident in your decision. I thought that was what you needed. But now you’re standing in front of me so why?”
“Well, I…” you sigh, giving yourself a moment to process your own feelings, “I missed it. The shop and the guys and you.”
Chan’s jaw tightens, your profession placing him right back on edge. “You miss me?” he scoffs, “That’s not the truth. Try again.”
“But it is.”
“No it isn’t.”
“It is.”
“It isn’t!” he finally snaps, raising his voice at you in a way he never has before. “If you missed me then you would’ve called. You would’ve texted me. Do you know what that felt like for me? I haven’t heard your voice in a year.”
“Because you told me you didn’t wanna hear it!” you shout back, the tears you’ve been suppressing all night pouring from your eyes. It hurts to cry this hard. The tightness in your chest is unbearable. You’ve never cried this hard in front of someone before, not even him, but there’s no holding it back. “I blew up your phone all day every day for weeks begging you to talk to me. I might’ve left here but I didn’t leave you. You left me. You broke my heart and I’ve cried for you every night since. So hate me all you want but I won’t torture myself for you anymore.”
Four hours. That’s how long he spent pacing in that office spiraling down an emotional hole. He thought he knew what he’d say to you if he had the chance. All of those words left unsaid would come tumbling out. Those feelings of abandonment. That pain. He’d have the words to put to them that’d make you understand what you did to him.
Watching the tears stream down your face, none of those words matter now. He’d worked you up in his mind to be a villain, totally opposite to the girl he fell in love with. Blinded by his own bitterness he couldn’t see that you were still her. You are still her. And now he can’t ignore it.
Tucking an arm around your waist he pulls you in, your face pressed into his chest. His fingers find your hair, stroking the soft strands. It feels like it’s been an eternity since he’s touched you. His body’s flush with the sort of warmth flowers must feel on a sunny day.
Chan leans in, his plush lips skimming your ear, “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just had so much anger when you left and I didn’t know how to deal with it but I don’t hate you. I’m so sorry.”
The tremors of his voice give you goosebumps. He sounds as broken as you do and just as lost. You shake your head, pulling back from him. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come” you say, wiping the tears away. “You don’t have to worry about me anymore. I’ll stay away this time. I promise.”
You walk off, your arms wet with tears that won’t stop falling. Your chest’s thumping and the shop seems darker than it was when you came in. Footsteps follow behind you lightly enough for you to question if it’s all in your head. If there’s something you’ve left behind then let it stay that way. You won’t turn back. Not this time.
It’s a silly thing to do but you’re doing it.
Draped across your bed in a towel, you sip from a bottle of red wine and cycle through a heartbreak playlist that gives your lonely heart the company it desperately needs. The tears stopped a half hour ago, the last of them being shed in the shower. Your eyelids feel raw from all of the salty waterworks and your body’s exhausted.
A few feet away your phone sits on a table, lit up with text messages from the guys. After hearing what happened a few of them insisted on coming to get you but you can’t crawl your way towards the closet for the life of you. If not for their persistence you’d be content to rot in your hotel room for the rest of the night, drowning your sorrows in this bottle of overpriced wine.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
“Nobody’s home” you groan, face down in the blanket. There’s a pause. Some shuffling on the other side of the door. Maybe it worked?
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Pushing yourself up from the bed, you toss the bottle aside and drag yourself over to the door. “Can’t a girl rot in peace?” you pout, swinging the door open.
“If this is what you look like when you rot then rot all you want” Chan says, flashing you a smile so genuine you’re positive you must be dreaming.
You stick your head out into the hallway, looking around for the other guys but there’s no one else in sight. “Chan, uh, what are you doing here?”
“Honestly? I’m afraid you’re gonna leave again before I can beg you not to.”
With not a drop more of explanation he pushes his way into the room, kissing you like his life depends on it. His tongue glides over yours, savoring the taste of you mixed with the lingering sweetness of the wine. The kiss is so consuming you can barely get a breath in but air is vastly overrated when a kiss is laced with this much passion. There’s a year of longing inside of him and he pours it into you boundlessly.
Tucking his hands behind your legs, he lifts you up, fingers delighting in the softness of your thighs. He missed this. The tenderness of your kiss. The plushness of your figure. The light, fruity scent of your perfume filling his lungs as he plants open mouthed kisses down your neck, suckling at your smooth skin.
His lips never break from you as he lays you across the bed, tearing your towel away like it’s nothing. His palms massage the fullness of your figure, riding every curve to cup one of your breasts. Your body tenses in response to his touch, moisture pooling between your thighs.
Chan drags his tongue across your cleavage, his stiffening bulge pressed right against your core. “Tell me you’ll stay this time” he begs, lovesick eyes flicking up to you, “Don’t leave me again.”
Brushing his hair out of his face, your fingers skate along that immaculate bone structure of his, bringing him up for another breathless kiss. His thumb brushes your nipple, making small circles on the tip of the bud, and you shudder.
“I’ll stay” you moan, your thighs growing slick with your arousal.
He pinches the bud, grinding his clothed cock against you harder this time, “Promise me.”
Chan sounds so needy and it only worsens how badly you ache for him. You guide him back up to his feet, slipping to the edge of the bed to kiss his cock through his pants. You press your palm to it, riding the outline of the print while your other hand dips under his shirt to feel his abs contract with every touch. He tugs his shirt up over his head, giving your hands free reign of that beautiful chest.
You smile up at him, pulling down the band of his pants and his boxers at once. His cock springs free, thick, throbbing, and as deliciously veined as you remember. You stick your tongue out, licking up the arousal dripping from the tip. You smile up at him, your tongue retreating to say the words he wants to hear. “I promise.”
You press your lips to the tip, taking it in further this time. You swirl your tongue around it, enjoying the satisfied groans that fill the room the more you take him between your fluffy cheeks. Your mouth is so warm and wet around his cock. It’s like heaven.
You relax your throat, taking him as far back as you can, before pulling back the slightest bit to wrap your fingers around the base. You rock your head back and forth, wrist rotating as you pump his shaft. You can feel every little twitch of his cock, taste the precum dripping on the back of your tongue, and it has you soaking through the blanket beneath you.
Chan reaches down to play with your hair, utterly incapable of taking his eyes off of you. You look too pretty drooling around his cock for him to miss a minute of it. He wants to be like this forever with you. Not only this but everything. He wants to be with you. Near you. Inside of you. Anything you’ll bless him with. He just wants you right here, looking at him with all of the love and admiration you do with his cock throbbing down your throat.
“My beautiful girl” he coos, tilting his hips in to push into you a little more. “All mine, yeah?”
With your mouth stuffed so full of him he hardly expects you to answer. Your hum of agreement vibrating down his length is more than enough to let him know that you agree. You’re his again. You’ve wanted to be for so long and at last you are.
That knowledge is almost as intoxicating as feeling him on your tongue. Chan tangles his fingers in your hair, bringing your head back far enough that the head of his cock only ghosts your glossy lips. He plants a kiss on your forehead, staring so deeply into your eyes that you almost lose yourself.
“Bend over for me, baby” he whispers and you nod your head, swinging around in the cutest way to assume the position.
You crawl onto your knees for him, back arched and ass in the air. “Is this good, Channie?”
If only you could see yourself from this angle. Your body’s beyond perfection and your pussy’s glistening like diamonds. He can’t stop himself from tasting you, a hand palming your ass as his tongue darts into your core.
“So fucking good” he hums, his face buried between your thighs. His tongue dips up, dragging between your folds and teasing your clit. Your body trembles and he grabs your hips, lapping at your clit until his face is soaked in your juices.
“Channie, please, ah. Too much” you whine but your body tells a different story. You’re soaking wet, your walls so needy you’re clenching around air. Your hips arch and swirl, almost riding his face.
Chan’s too drunk on your pussy to listen, his free hand between his legs to stroke his cock as he devours you. His tongue pushes back into your core and your walls flutter around it, leaking like a faucet. His cock throbs in his palm, drenched in a mixture of your saliva and his arousal. He feels so out of it, so completely absorbed in you, that he’s racing towards his high faster than he’s ready for.
Dragging his tongue out, he steadies himself, gripping your hips to bring himself right to your entrance. You wiggle your ass excitedly and he laughs, licking you from his lips. “You want it that badly, baby?”
You look back, serving a pouty face that’d bring even the toughest man to his knees. “I just wanna see how much you’ve really missed me.”
“I’ve missed you so much” he moans, sinking into you with one motion. You both nearly collapse at the dizzying pleasure of it. Your walls cling to his length as he bottoms out, filling you up perfectly. “I was going crazy without you” he confesses, pulling out and slamming into you even harder. Your body jiggles, the softness of your hips borderline sinful.
You cry out, biting your tongue to avoid a noise complaint but the moans still spill out. Those broken, beautiful moans. Every stroke rides your sweet spot, pushing you further towards absolute ruin.
“I’ve needed you so badly” he coos, savoring the wet snapping sound of your body colliding with his. “Just like I need you right now. Fuck, I don’t know how I lived without this pussy.”
Throwing his head back, he settles his knees at the very edge of the bed, bouncing you in his lap. He fucks into you faster, your juices splashing up and decorating his abs. Blindly you reach for a pillow, dragging it over to bury your face in because you know it’s coming. You feel it and so can he. Your legs are shaking, you can barely keep your body straight, and your walls are spasming too wildly to spare his sanity.
You’re almost there, knocking right at the door of you high. But instead of keeping his pace, he slows down, every movement careful and purposeful. He angles himself against your sweet spot, making sure he doesn’t miss it once, and teases you to the point that your body’s almost crying to cum. “You ready to cum for me, hmm? You want it?”
“Mmhmm” you whine, eyes watering, “Let me cum, Channie, please.”
How can he deny the request of such a pretty girl? Picking up speed again, he thrusts into you, and your orgasm rips through you like an electric current. You bite down on the pillow, your brain going fuzzy as you cream all over his cock, moaning his name in broken syllables.
Chan has the glimmer of a thought to pull out but he’s too addicted to the feeling of you clenching to follow through on it. It’s too late anyway, his heart’s already skipping beats, his seed spilling out into the warmth of your core. His movements grow sloppier, both of your bodies getting weaker by the minute, but he doesn’t stop until your knees give out.
You summon the energy to roll onto your back, giving that poor little pillow a break, and Chan collapses on top of you, his head resting on your soft belly. “You know” he pants, massaging your love handles, “This music is really sad.”
You giggle, your awareness of any music playing having faded away the moment his lips found yours. “You’re right, it is kinda sad, but I was sad.”
“Was?” he asks, propping his chin up on your belly, “You’re not sad anymore, right?”
“Hmm, no, I don’t think I am.”
“And you really meant what you said? That wasn’t just sex talk?”
You need a second to think about what it was that you said. You’re sure you said a few things when he was inside of you. All of which you meant, of course. “Oh, that I’ll stay? Yeah, I meant that. As long as that’s what you really want.”
Chan climbs on top of you, strong arms caging you in as he hovers above you. “More than anything.”
He kisses you and you close your eyes, letting yourself fade into him. You don’t regret going off to find yourself, it was something you needed to do, but there’s no doubt in your mind that this is where your heart is. With the shop. With the boys. And, more than anything else, with Chan.
#stray kids x reader#stray kids x female reader#stray kids x you#bang chan x reader#bang chan x you#bang chan smut#bang chan angst#stray kids smut#stray kids angst#bang chan x female reader#chubby reader#plus size reader
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Keep This Low Key
💜 Pairings: Choso x F!reader Rating: Explicit- MDNI
💜 Contents/Warnings: Very emotional at first, but then it lightens up and gets sweet. Light angst, heavy at the beginning, forgiveness and trying for each other, a little jealousy and hurt, lots of kissing, fingering, oral (f recieving), lots of sexual tension and feelings
💜 Word Count: this chap - 10k (long one)
💜 Summary: You have been Choso's best friend for years, and one night he has a date with Yuki, his girlfriend, while you have a date with Ino, your boyfriend, only for them both to break up with you at the same time! You all think of calling each other, but run right into each other. Choso brings you home since you didn't even have your car, and you two are crying over a couple beers and a silly movie, only to have a sudden idea. Why not say fuck dating, fuck heartbreak, and just fuck each other?
No drama, no mess, no upset, and you two are such good friends, nothing can go wrong, right? The only agreement is no feelings, and if you all find a s/o, you'll end things. But the moment Choso opens his heart to you, and the moment you start falling, things get messy, as you realize he's the best you've had, and you're falling hard. Will you all stay friends, become more, or will everything blow up?
✨️Comments and reblogs appreciated if you enjoy- A/N- I attempt to write a song, I am sure I failed be nice abt it lol! ✨️
Chapter Four 💜 Masterlist 💜 Playlist 💜
Chapter Five
It has been two weeks since you spoke or saw Choso. He finally stopped texting and calling a few days ago, finally stopped showing up at your work every morning with that cup of coffee that you asked your coworkers to take instead. You don't even look or respond to him, it's too far gone, it's too much.
You don't respond to Satoru either, he was clearly there for fun, which is fine but you can't believe what you've done. After being so set on sex being this end all be all, Ino’s dumping you so soon after clearly fucked you up, and hopping in bed with Choso had been the biggest mistake.
You are out with Utahime at the club, dancing together and giggling, enjoying her so much, even as you miss Choso like you live and breathe. It's all too much, and you don't know if you can ever repair what has happened, to undo the tangled mess you both had become.
You're not putting fault all on him, but you're still hurt by him. You didn't go to his concert, you hate yourself for that, but it would hurt too much to see. You sent good luck necklaces to the three of them with a note saying you were sick (you especially hate to let the boys down too) but there's not much hope for it, not when you can't stomach facing him.
If you never kissed him, you maybe could have lived your life just fine, if you never had him look at you that way, if you never slept in his arms, you could have said it was friendship. But now, even your strong, fourteen year friendship is hopelessly gone.
Take a shot.
Dance.
Laugh
Take a shot.
Take a selfie with Utahime.
Dance more.
Laugh.
Hollow laughter, laughter that rings just wrong, your eyes aren't as bright when you look in the mirror, but you think you can puzzle together the pieces.
Men flirt.
You ignore it.
Have a drink now.
Dance under the strobe lights.
Laugh.
You're almost human, or at least you're pretending to be, and it almost works, buzzed off your ass and dancing with her helps, giggling as you all walk out in your heels to your ride helps. Taking more selfies and giggling at the reacting on Insta helps, you feel good…
Well, almost.
Choso haunts all of your damn thoughts, it’s like you can’t even imagine things before him, like this gaping hole in your chest. You are tipsy when you get home, images flash as you walk through the door, Choso holding you against it, him on his knees in front of you. Then more images of Satoru, which make you sick.
You never thought actually doing something with the guy you had it bad for since forever would bring you down so badly, it made everything snap into place, things that didn’t make any sense in your mind. It was never just sex with Choso, not from the moment he kissed you and called you beautiful, because you know what ‘just sex’ is, Choso was beyond it.
Now there was nothing left between you.
Choso hearts your pictures, and something shifts, something almost makes you sick about it, not talking to him. You crave to just forgive and forget, to act like this friendship is fixable, to act unbothered, but you can’t just go back now. The decision was made when he first kissed you on that couch, when his tongue ring clicked on your teeth, when his big hands brushed against your waist.
You see his IG is Amber free, and hers is Choso free. You don't know what that means but you can't bring yourself to care anymore, you'd tried to make any sense of any of this and have failed. When you think too much about it, about your decisions, you sob so hard your eyes burn, your cheeks sticky.
You wash your face, put your hair up into a bun, you go back to all of your routines, without Cho Bear things don't really bring you the same joy, but finally you think you can let some of the heartache mend. Snatching up a book and your favorite plush, you snuggle on the couch, buzzed and dizzy. Luckily Satoru doesn't bother you, just a dick pic here and there, you roll your eyes at him.
He was good at what he did, fuck he was real good, but it was not what you wanted, it was what you thought you had to do, to prove something to yourself, that you were inexperienced and overthinking it. But, you were wrong. Choso pushes you to your worst, and you just can't let it continue, you can’t be that girl.
Choso calls, you go to hang up and accidentally hit answer, cursing quietly, hearing the hope in his voice as he says your name.
“What is it?” You ask, tone soft but cold, you haven't talked and don't want to.
“I know you hate me, and I don't blame you. You should.” You tear up as you hear his voice breaking.
“I don't hate you, I just can't be in your life. I'm sorry.” You sniffle, hiccuping on a cry when you set your book down.
“Will we ever be friends again?”
“I don't think so, but it's not all your fault. We both fucked up.” Choso sighs over the phone, you imagine him in your mind's eye. Sexy and shirtless maybe? Low hanging sweats? Is his hair loose and long?
“I haven't talked to Amber. I never will again.” You blink now.
“It doesn't matter.”
“It does! It does. What I did was horrible to you.”
“It's over now. Don't dwell on this. I have to go.”
“Please, please… anything I could do to make you smile again. I hate that I caused this.” You sigh shakily as you hear his crying over the phone. It almost gets to you.
“I'm okay, I promise. Choso I'll always care, I'll always be rooting for you-”
“Please, please… please forgive me.”
“I do. I'm not angry. I'm sad.” You cover your face, choking on your sobs as he does. “I don't hate you not one bit.”
“I hate myself.” You shake your head and can't stop the sobs from wracking your body.
“I know that feeling well.” You both take a breath, both hating what you've lost. “But I promise I don’t hate you, I couldn’t. Take care, please.” Your voice is just a whisper, but he hears you.
“Please, anything, I will do anything, let me make it up. Let me fix it!? I know I'm stupid, I know I was wrong. Please.” His heartbreak in his voice makes it crack over the phone, you’re devastated then.
“Just let it go, okay? Let it go.”
“I don’t want to let you go. I-”
“Good night.” You hang up quickly, cutting off whatever words could wreck your resolve, your hands violently shaking, you press them between your thighs, staring as the phone rings.
Cho Bear.
Will you miss him forever?
*****
It’s been three weeks since you last spoke to Choso now, he quit calling finally, it’s sort of like it was when you were with Ino, when you two couldn’t keep your friendship, but it’s worse because you know what you could have. God, to have even been able to go on a date with him? To imagine building something so beautiful, but instead you’ve ruined it all.
You’re shocked when Megumi and Yuuji are knocking on your door, you stand there still when Yuuji barrels you with a big hug. You sigh, hugging him back, Megumi snakes an arm around you after as well, you almost tear up a bit, thinking of how close all four of you have been so long.
“I missed you two.” You say softly, shutting the door then. “What brings you all over here?”
Yuuji swipes a hand through his pastel locks. “What did Cho do so bad that it’s been three weeks of you ignoring him?”
“Yuuji…” Megumi says with a sigh, dark eyes looking at you seriously. “What he means to say is Choso misses you, bad.”
“He’s so depressed he won’t even play.” You blink at that, looking away then.
“Won’t play? When has Choso not played?”
“He won’t even leave his room aside from work.” Megumi says, your heart breaks further and further.
“I… we can’t be friends. I’m sorry, you two.”
“What, why!? You’ve been friends almost my entire life? As long as I can remember.”
“Yuuji…”
“Did you two…” Megumi trails off, you blush furiously then. “Oh.”
“Oh what? Did what?” Yuuji’s voice annoys Megumi clearly then.
“Tch, just stop.” He looks at you now, seriously. “Is it that bad?”
You nod quietly, sighing and shutting your eyes. “He wouldn’t wanna see me anyway.”
“That’s not true, not at all. Please, just come over, you don’t even have to hang out with him, just let him see you.” Yuuji begs, yanking on her hand now, pulling you towards him so his hands can rest on your shoulders. “You’re his best friend in the world, you can’t just not be one anymore.”
“You wouldn’t understand.” Your tears start running before you can stop them, Yuuji frowns, Megumi brushes a hand up and down your back. “I don’t think me and Cho can fix it.”
“So start new.” Megumi’s voice stuns you. “Start fresh, whatever happened you two can get over it. Have you never had problems, fights?”
“Of course we have. I… I’m scared to even face him.” You cover your face and start crying then, letting the weeks of despair fall out with tears as they comfort you. “Guys I can’t.”
“Just spend time with all of us. I know it would brighten his day, you don’t know how bad it is.” Yuuji’s voice breaks just a bit, and then you realize, Choso must be hurting as much as you are.
“Let me get myself together and I’ll head over.” You say with a small smile, emotional as you think of seeing him again.
Could you all ever go back to being friends, when you are so in love with him… love, yes.
Love.
You’re hopelessly in love with your former best friend, how would you play it casual, how could you even face him?
*****
Choso can’t stand not seeing you, not hearing your voice or your little laugh, god he misses your scent, your presence, your everything. Even if he couldn’t see you, he used to swing by and give you that coffee, and you turned every cup down, not even acknowledging him. The heartbreaking call last week had him finally giving up, realizing he had done too much damage.
How could he hurt you like this?
He thinks back now, to all the signals you gave, to all the clues where he has been so clueless. Choso never got attention from girls, a shy guy, a nerdy guy, it’s been the past couple of years he’s gotten popular with his band. He didn’t realize Amber was that insane over him so quickly, and even so, he saw that hurt on your face before the incident in the car.
He told you one thing but did another, and of course you’re done with him, of course you probably went home with Gojo that night, how could he blame you? There you were, painting things clearly, and here he was, not understanding a thing you meant, like the words couldn’t compute, he couldn’t fathom you felt that way.
Choso has barely left his home for the past three weeks, but for the past week he has barely left his room, guitars unplayed, notebooks left unwritten and sprawled all around his room. He can barely eat or think of anything but you, aching to call you, to see you, but he knows he can’t anymore, he knows he’d just be doing more damage, how could he be so foolish?
The doors open of his room and he grimaces then, as his little brother keeps trying to energetically get him out of the house, to give him all this hope that you two could make up, as if it’s even possible. He blinks and covers his face with his plaid blanket.
“Go away.”
“Cho?” He hears your voice then, making him jump up out of bed, sheets all rumpled and a mess, thinking he’s dreaming.
But you’re there.
You’re here.
Your eyes look just a little puffy, your lips trembling as you see him, he tries to smooth his hair, knowing he probably looks terrible, he hasn’t even showered in days he’s just rotted away. Choso struggles to pull himself together, walking towards you then, and he sees it, you’re trembling, as if you can’t even handle this, seeing him again.
But he was wrong.
When you see him like this, a whole mess and so depressed, it destroys your heart, you can’t take it, even as much as you both had messed up here, he was your closest friend in the world. He was always by your side through your heartbreaks, and you were by his side, and now? You were both suffering alone, and for what, for the fear of not forgiving each other?
Choso doesn’t even know what you’ve done, he doesn’t know you were just as bad as him, maybe worse. No, you two don’t date, but it felt wrong, what both of you did, especially in your heart, you didn’t do it for fun, you did it for some petty sense of revenge, and now it’s hard to face him, but you do. You face your best friend who looks like a mess, with his eyes glimmering with tears.
It’s quiet then, Megumi clears his throat. “Let’s give you both a minute, maybe you can make him shower?”
Yuuji nods. “Please do.”
They leave, shutting the door to Choso’s room, a room the last time you were in that he had sex with you, but was it sex? Or did he make love to you?
How he’d stared into your eyes, cupped your face so gently, how he’d asked every moment if things felt good, if you were okay. The memories make you ache, and not just physically, they make you ache for all of him, for his sweet smile again, for him to just hold you in his arms. You’re just standing there, and so is he, you both open your mouths, then shut them.
He’s clenching his fists, stepping closer now, terrified you’ll just run away, but you don’t. You stay there, looking at him, as he feels emotions in his throat, as the tears begin to fall. He steps a little closer, and you let him, giving him the silent go ahead to approach you further, your chest rising and falling with your breaths as they come faster and faster.
Another step, and your boots are toe to toe with his bare feet, and Choso is looking down at you, his hands hovering just above your shoulders, as if he’s scared to touch you. You feel the sobs building in your chest now, not a word is spoken, but seeing your best friend who you love in tears, along with your own regrets makes you break apart.
“You’re here.” He says your name then, and you break into tears when he pulls you against him for a hug, those tight ones in his strong arms you’ve loved forever, you feel so safe, so right. He’s stroking your hair, pressing you against his chest as your arms wrap his chest. “I didn’t know if I’d… if I’d… see you…”
He’s sobbing out his words, you look up through your tears, seeing him, his stubble, his dark circles as you sniffle. “I’m here, Cho.”
“Feel like I’m dreaming of you.” He squeezes you so tightly, but you crave it, you love it, against him finally.
The room is quiet, aside from both of you quietly crying, sniffling and laughing softly when you look at each other. “You do need a bath, gosh.”
“Hush.” He’s smiling, that heartbreakingly sweet smile you’ve come to love, but you have to pull back a bit, taking a breath, eyes fluttering shut when he cups your face, like you’re precious. “I missed your pretty face.”
“Did you?” You tease softly, opening your eyes, burning from tears.
“I’m so sorry for everything, I am sorry I didn’t listen, that I hurt you.” You feel almost sick now, shaking your head. “I fucked it all up, I did-”
“We both did. I have to tell you something.” He nods then, shoving aside a bunch of things to clear you a seat in his gaming chair, pulling you by it, arms on either side of you as he sits on the bed.
“Anything.”
You take a breath, hoping it will help you, but you feel sick thinking of it. “I was intimate with Gojo.”
Choso blinks long lashes, frowning before nodding. “I figured, that night maybe you slept with him?” He tries to hide the hurt in his voice, but fails.
“I didn’t have sex but… um… oral.” You feel like sinking into the goddamn carpet below you, Choso clears his throat, looking away for a moment.
“I figured so, but was it because you wanted to? Was it because he’s Gojo, an old fling? Was it… for fun? Or… was it because I pushed you there?” His heartbreak is so clear it affects you physically, you’re shifting in the seat, fiddling with your hair, sighing nervously.
“It was my decision, but it was based on seeing her with you, it hurt so bad, but it’s no excuse. I acted on impulse and felt awful.”
He shakes his head. “Don’t feel bad, please.”
“Cho I… we…”
“It’s because of me.”
“It’s not!”
“You always try to defend me, even when I’m wrong, and I was so wrong here. You tried to tell me.”
You’re nodding through more tears, he rests his forehead on yours, as you both take shaky breaths. “I did try to tell you, but now I don’t know what to do, how can we go back to how it was?”
“I don’t know but I’ll do anything, be anything for you.” Your eyes lock, his a glittering violet, dark sooty lashes wet and spiky over them.
“Maybe we should start new?” You ask softly.
“As friends?”
“I don’t know, maybe something else.” Your brace yourself for impact, but his next words fill you with so much hope.
“How about… we go on a date.”
“A date?” You blink in confusion.
“A date, me and you, I am asking you on a date. A real one, a proper one, and we get to know each other as… maybe more.” Your heart races then, you feel it, the giddiness at the thought, but then the guilt.
“You wanna date me? After what I did?” Your voice is breaking, you’re no better than him really, maybe you’re worse? What he did casually, you did in retaliation.
“Oh, sweetie…” He brushes your hair back gently, it feels so good, so perfect then, in his room, with his touch. “You did nothing wrong to me, I think it felt wrong for you though?”
“It felt wrong, so wrong. I hate myself for it.” You’re just a breath away from his lips, but both of you hold that inch apart, you bite your lower lip, his eyes dart to it, but he stays that distance.
“What you did makes sense, I’m just sorry I made you feel you had to. I don’t want games, or hurting each other anymore, please. Let’s just have a date, and if you like me, we’ll do another.” You giggle then, the sound makes his heart swell, it makes him so fucking happy, to see how it lights up your face, even as he brushes tears away, thumbs with faded black polish barely on.
“So we’re going to take things slow?” You whisper, hands gliding up his chest, making him tense then.
“Yes, you deserve slow, you deserve to be treated right, and to choose what you want. If it’s me or not, I think we should try, what’s here, this connection? It’s…”
“Epic.” He smiles then, nodding, thumb brushing against your jaw now.
“I’d die to kiss you but I’d like to earn it, please.”
“It better be something nice, now. And you’re paying.” He grins, you’re wiping his tears now, running your hand through his dark messy locks.
“I’ll pay, don’t worry. Will you wear something that shows off that perfect body of yours?”
“I could be persuaded to. But you’ll be a gentleman.”
He nods, holding your little hand over his chest. “I will be.”
You feel it, the flutters in your tummy, at the thought of something like this, it seems so silly, but you’re giddy, hopeful. “So we’re… gonna go on a date.”
“Tonight.”
“You absolutely need to shower then, I can’t with all this.” You tease, he pulls you against him tightly, kissing your cheek, your temple, hugging you just so, you feel his heartbeat on your cheek.
“I wish you could get in there, fuck I miss every bit of you.” He exhales, you feel his words hit your core, you’re aching now, clinging to him.
“I miss it too.” You look back up now at him, smiling as you both just sit there, quietly. “I’m sorry Choso.”
“I’m sorry, angel. So sorry.” You nod, trying to pull yourself together then, brushing your cheeks with shaky hands. “I will not ever let you down again, even if you hate this date, even if you decide we should be acquaintances, just any part of your life you have me in, I’ll follow.”
“Shh.” You kiss his cheek now, cheeks that tinge pink under the light brush of your lips. “You text the time, and I’ll be ready. Oh, and you better shave.”
“I will.” You smile so pretty at him, as Choso’s mind whirls once you leave. A date with you, he needs it to be perfect.
You came to him, you were real.
Yuuji and Megumi burst in now, and Choso has this silly grin on his face, much to their relief. “You better not fuck this date up.”
“You all were listening!?”
“Just to some of it! Choso!”
Megumi snorts. “He’s gonna kill you, Yuuji.”
*****
Choso pulls up in his little Mustang, you stand there so nervous in the night, having gone over twenty outfits before landing on a little black dress, you figure you can’t go wrong with that. It’s lacy on the chest, it cinches just so in the waist and flares out flirtatious, along with a black jacket since the night has a chill. You see his mouth drop when he gets out of the car, making you flush.
“You’re so beautiful.” He says softly, like he’s in awe, it makes you feel beautiful then, Choso makes you feel so much, like you are so special.
“You look handsome, Cho.” You smile up at him, taking in his black dress shirt and slacks, fitting his muscled frame so sexy. “I’ve never seen you dressed up like this? Where’d you get these?”
“Put away from a wedding.” He admits, you giggle then, the sound brightening his world, as he takes in your gorgeous face. “Your makeup is beautiful too.”
“Oh thank you! Youtube tutorial.” He grins, brushing his fingers along the backs of your cheek then.
“You nailed that shit.”
“I missed the fuck out of you.” He nods, leaning so close, dying to kiss you, but you deserve the night, a night all about you, to take it slow, so he pecks a kiss on your hand, taking it in his. “Gentleman Cho?”
“Mmhmm. My lady.” He teases, your pulse flutters in your throat as he opens the car door for you now, making a show of dramatically bowing. His hand is on your thigh when he’s driving, yours brushes the backs of his knuckles, so much still left unsaid between you, but the comfort of each other overpowers it.
“Where are we going, Sir?” He exhales, not able to handle you calling him Sir because fuck the thoughts going through his head are insane now.
“We’ll be there soon, I think you’ll like it though?”
“I’m nervous.”
“Me too.” He admits, looking at you as the lights of cars drive by, reflecting against your pretty face as he drives you through the night, catching each one of your features just so every time. “Breathtaking.”
“Oh stop.” He hums a bit, big hands squeezing your thigh gently, thumb brushing along your inner thigh now, you shift just a bit. “Thank you.”
“Thank you for being so pretty.”
“Whatever, you’re too much.” You roll your eyes and his laugh fills the car. “I hated it, Cho, being apart.”
He exhales now, grip tightening. “God, me too. I couldn’t bear it, not at least seeing you for that one minute in the morning, it hurt.”
You feel the pain in his voice, no matter how much he tries to hide it from you. “I couldn’t…”
“It’s okay, angel. I understand. You’re probably still hurting, but you’re here.”
“I am here. Terrified.”
“Me too.” Choso pulls up now, and you see it, a beautiful boat in the night, making you gasp at it.
“What!? Oh gosh, I expected a movie?”
“I thought we could have dinner here and just… talk? Relax together? Enjoy the view.” You nod excitedly, and soon you’re walking along the planks, alongside couples strolling arm and arm, Choso watches you carefully, as the breeze blows your hair around your face.
You look like art to him.
You are art to him.
“It’s gorgeous here my god!” Your hands are on the railing, looking up at the clear night sky, the gentle waves of the ocean rolling. Choso can’t keep his eyes off of you, when he agrees.
“Gorgeous.” You look to him then, heating up at his insinuation, at the way he’s looking at you so sweetly, so enamored. “I never meant to make you…”
“It’s fine, Cho.”
“No.” He tilts your chin up, with two long fingers, making you look up at him now. “I never meant to make you feel less than. Not good enough, or worthy enough, you’re worth everything.”
“Gonna make me cry right now?” You whisper, lips trembling, he aches to brush them against his, aches to make every part of you covered in his kisses.
“Just know I appreciate this night, even if it's only once.”
“Hush, Cho bear.” The nickname, so silly and cute, hits him with the nostalgia, of all the years you both were the best of friends, giggling and spending every moment together.
“I’ll hush then, let’s go eat.”
You find yourself across the table from him, you’re nervously eyeing the menu, eyes bulging out. “This is too much.”
“Stop it, please? I did really well for myself with the last show.” You hate that mention then, that you didn’t go. “Don’t be upset about it, I get it. We got your gifts which were very sweet you know.”
“I wanted to go so badly.” You look away, taking a breath, then he’s yanked his seat, dragging it across the floor with a screech, next to you, and you love it, his thigh brushing against yours, his sweet smile.
“It’s okay, I understand. I do. I know you have supported me always, I don’t know if I let you realize how much I appreciated it.”
“I can’t cry, I have on eyelashes, stop.” Choso laughs softly, leaning close and pulling up your menus.
“I’ve never gone on any kind of date to a fancy place, I wanted this to be with you, okay? It’s nothing. But…” He whispers then. “I have no clue what any of this stuff is?”
“Me either! No pictures!?” You lean over then to a couple near you, they smile at you both. “Any advice?”
“I picked the filet mignon, at least I knew the word.” She says, you giggle, nodding then and peeking at Cho.
“That one?” Soon you’re giving the waitress your order, and you can’t help but notice that she’s flirting with him, but instead of how he’d usually be sweet and hopelessly clueless, he wraps an arm around your waist, as if showing that he’s here with you.
It’s everything you’ve ever wanted in one gesture.
Ino picking his ex over you, Satoru having picked random girls over you, and a serious lack of dating has made your shitty limited experience have you extra insecure, something you realized this past month. Choso even just calling you his friend, though it was true, had hurt deeply once you were intimate.
You’re trying to take it slow, one moment at a time, but god he feels so good, against you, with you. He’s cutting at your steak and feeding you little bites, you both sip wine and just enjoy each other as the boat sways through the water. It’s unlike any date you’ve had, you don’t have to get to know him, don’t have to impress him. He’s Choso Kamo, the man you’ve adored forever.
“So it’s a date, what’s your favorite color?” He teases, you snort in laughter, rolling your eyes.
“Oh stop like you haven’t known since middle school, it’s blue. What’s your favorite color, emo boy, black?”
“Emo boy!?” You are both losing it with laughter, with his every little touch, his sweet smile, he carves his damn place further in your heart.
The dessert comes, a chocolate lava cake with a scoop of ice cream, and you laugh at his messy eating, the way he gets chocolate on the corner of his mouth. “You’re so messy.”
“So were you, I remember.” His husky tone makes your mouth drop open, desire clutching you tightly, especially when he licks it off, you can’t help but remember the taste of him, the feeling of his body against yours, the way that tongue just fucking did things.
You clear your throat, trying to shake the thoughts away. “Not gentlemanly, now is it?”
“It’s not, I’m sowwy.” He gives you puppy dog eyes, and you can’t take how cute he is then. You laugh softly, wiping a smudge of chocolate from his face with your thumb. “What’s so funny?” He asks, licking his lips.
“You are.” You reply, unable to stop smiling.
“Am I?” You nod, he’s so close then, his hand on your thigh under the table cloth, you have insane thoughts, what would it be like for him to play with you, right here?
“Shit.”
“Shit what?”
“Nothing.” You sigh, running fingers through your locks now.
“Open up.” Why does everything sound so attractive!? You do as he commands, opening your mouth for him to fork a piece of the chocolate cake, you chew thoughtfully as he watches you with avid attention.
“Food on my face?”
“N-no. Just so pretty.” He’s blushing now, it takes everything not to completely melt, but you’re still a little scared, a little hurt.
When he’s driving you back and you’re in the car, it also takes everything not to jump him then and there, not to let everything overwhelm you. His hand rests on your knee, smiling over at you when you pull up, the tension is still there, the words so unspoken, you want to say more, do more, but you know you shouldn’t yet.
“Would you like to go to our concert this weekend? I would really love it if you came… I may have a surprise I’m working on.”
“I’d love to, Cho. I miss seeing you guys.”
“Megumi and Yuuji really miss you too.” The guilt eats at you, Choso notices, frowning, dark brows drawn together. “I don’t say that to make you feel bad, they understand somewhat.”
“We fucked up so bad.” You blink rapidly, suddenly the car is too small, your hand going to the handle. “I should say good night.”
“Let me.” Choso is opening your door then, taking your hand in his, and you feel it, those butterflies swirling in your tummy, the desire for him in every way possible, as you give him a little tremulous smile. “Can I walk you to your door?”
“You can indeed, Sir.” You’re smiling so big you can’t stand it, you both are on your porch now, your hand still in his, which he brings to his lips, planting a kiss on your knuckles. “You’re like an Emo Disney Prince, Cho.”
“A what!?” You’re giggling again and he snorts in laughter, covering his face. He laughs so hard, and soon you’re just both laughing, looking at each other. He cups your face then, making your pulse race, your laughter easing now, as you stare at him. “You look so beautiful like this.”
“Snorting in laughter?” You ask with a quirk to your lips, he nods then, brushing his thumb on the apple of your cheek.
“Much better than tears.” There is so much between you both, a part of you wants to run inside and hide, another part wants to drag him in and kiss every part of him, but your hand goes to his chest, feeling his heart racing just like yours, just feeling him, being with him.
“I love seeing you smile. I can’t believe we ruined it.” Your whisper breaks him, he shakes his head then, leaning even lower.
“We didn’t ruin anything, maybe we… changed things?”
“You think? Can you… forgive me too?”
“Oh angel, there’s nothing to forgive. We both made a mess of this and hurt each other, but I never once was mad at you.” You step even closer now, swallowing nervously, your hands sliding up to wrap around his neck now, one of his arms wraps your waist.
“Thank you for a beautiful evening, Choso Kamo.” You murmur, a little smile on your lips.
“Thank you for being you.” He whispers, the warmth of his palm seeping through your dress, making you gasp at it, just the brush of his fingers down your back ends you damn near. Your eyes flutter shut, feeling his breath against your skin, waiting for it, waiting for his kiss.
But he just watches you, with your lips pursed, and your eyes shut, his heart fucking stopped now. He knew it, that he loved you, he had suspected it for so long, but then and there he knew he was madly in love with you. Part of him wants to give you a sweet kiss, the other wants to fuck you so good you forget Gojo ever touched you, warring parts in his mind.
His thumb tilts your chin up, and he pauses. “May I kiss you?”
Your eyes open in surprise. “You may.”
As his lips brush against yours, it’s at first sweet and lingering, but then it is like a spark ignites a flame, a passionate desperate kiss that you both crave forms, tongues dancing together, tasting the sweetness of the desert on both of your lips, the tart of the wine, and tasting each other.
Your hands are in his hair, his arms around your waist as he bends over you, you’re both lost in it, lost in each other. His thumbs trace little circles on the small of your back, making you arch into him, his kisses becoming more insistent, more needy. You feel it, the desire coiling in your tummy as he presses you even closer against his hard body, as one of his hands entangles in your hair.
You break apart for a moment, both of you panting, staring at each other, his eyes are full of desire, his pupils blown wide, and you see in his own eyes your face, lips parted, your own eyes lidded with desire. You both ease back, he rests his forehead on yours, desire coursing through his veins.
“It’s taking everything in me not to go inside, to have your taste all over me.” His words end you almost, you’re panting softly, nodding then.
“I know, I want it too.” He kisses you again, softer and easier, taking a deep breath and stepping back, leaving just a couple of inches between you now.
“I want to do things right this time. I want you to feel you’re put first. Please, don’t cry, angel.” You can’t help it, it’s everything you’ve wanted and needed to hear from him, tears streaming silently.
“They’re happy tears this time.” You manage to whisper, he exhales then, brushing them gently, kissing your cheeks.
“I hope soon I can ask you to be my girlfriend.” Your heart stutters then, he tenses as if he’s said something wrong. “Not yet I mean… if…”
“N-no, I’d like it soon. I agree we shouldn’t go further tonight though.” He nods quickly, kissing you once more and standing straight, clearing his throat, he’s rubbing the back of his neck all awkward and cute, the Choso you’ve known forever. “You’re still you, hmm?”
His lips turn up a bit. “I’m still me. You’re still you.”
“I am still me. Text me the details of the concert? I’ll be there.” He beams brightly at that.
“Yeah!?”
“Yeah. Good night, Choso. Thank you.”
“Good night.” After he’s watched you go inside, Choso is covering his face, breath coming so quick, he’s kissed you, and not just as some prelude to sex, no he kissed you after a date.
Everything in him is melting, things aren’t completely lost like he thought, it’s like this beautiful rainbow has entered his world again, illuminating the darkness that losing you had left behind. He’s not even sure he deserves your forgiveness, but he knows he will make sure he earns it properly. He stares at your shut door for some time before he leaves, the longing making him ache.
You’re covering your face, a huge fucking smile on it, as your back is against the door, then you have a hand on your heart, feeling it beat again, for the first time in weeks. You take off your heels, unzipping your dress then, heading to the bathroom to start taking off your makeup, mind whirling. Choso wasn’t lost, and maybe you weren’t lost either.
You try not to get your hopes too high, to not be too quick to think everything will be fine, you both hurt each other deeply, and you have a lot to go, but tonight made the dark bright again, made you realize Choso was your brightness. When you’re in bed, snuggled under the blankets, your phone buzzes and you look quickly to see it, a text from Choso.
Cho Bear: I hope you have a good night, but I have to admit… I’d die to have you in my arms.
His text hits hard, it hits brutal, it was only one night he’d held you like that, but you can’t get it out of your head, how it felt perfect. Like you were supposed to be there, safe and protected, cherished. Even now to think of him holding you brings emotions forwards, the longing in his words matching yours.
You: That would be lovely, I enjoyed that night.
Cho Bear: I enjoyed it too much, especially watching you sleep.
You: Creepy sleep stalker!
Cho Bear: A little bit.
You’re giggling again, eyes heavy now, and he sends the details of the concert coming up while you yawn.
You: I can’t wait, good night Cho.
Cho Bear: Good night, pretty.
You also see a text from Utahime, asking for details, you’re half asleep with one eye open as you text her back that it was so fun. She had encouraged you to go and give it a try, and you’re so happy you did. She gives you a million heart emojis then, making you smile sleepily.
To be in Choso’s arms, you don’t know if you’ll get there any time soon, but in your dreams, there you are.
*****
“She came!” Yuuji exclaims that weekend, you and Choso were back to him bringing you that coffee at work, in fact it came along with a little peck on your cheek every morning. It would make you think of him all day, it would put this goofy smile on your face, but aside from that, you haven’t seen him.
The concert is at a very popular club in the city, and it’s packed, there is Choso’s band and a couple others there, when you walk in and you see them. Yuuji waves excitedly, Megumi gives a little nod, and Choso brightens up, calling your name and waving you up to the stage then.
“You came!” He picks you up in his arms then, a giant bear hug that makes you feel so small as he lifts you up, you hug him around the neck as your feet dangle off the ground, smiling against his cheek.
“Of course I did, I couldn't miss it.” He eases you down as some onlookers come, one including Amber, who makes Choso tense as she strides up.
“Choso, I haven’t talked to you! In forever…”
“Is that your girl?” Another girl asks, Amber laughs then.
“They’re friends.”
You gulp now, panicking as several people come around curiously, and you want to fall into a fucking hole, terrified of what his answer will be, you’re not together yet, so whatever he says…
“No, she’s my girl.” You blink up at him, gasping, he eases you down and wraps an arm around your waist as the whispers start.
“Your girl?” Amber asks, arms crossed with a scowl.
“She’s pretty!” Someone else says, making you flush, snuggling up to Choso, leaning up to whisper in his ear.
“You don’t have to do this.”
He looks at you then, shaking his head. “I want to.” He murmurs, pressing a little kiss on your lips in front of everyone, Megumi and Yuuji are grinning as the girls are babbling, and people from the crowd ooh and ahh. But Amber?
“Really? Her?” Choso tenses then, glaring over at her.
“Yeah, her, what’s that mean?”
“Cho, it’s okay…”
Amber stomps up to him then, leaning close. “You forgot the last time we hung out?”
“I’d love to forget. You can go on if you mean to insult her, because damned if she’s not perfect.”
“Perfect?”
“Why don’t you go on?” Megumi says then, eyeing a bouncer. “Or we could have you escorted?”
“Whatever.” She grumbles, dragging her friends out with her, and suddenly you can breathe just a bit, looking up at him.
“You didn’t have to say all that, it’s okay really.”
“It’s not okay for her to talk that way. She’s nothing.” He cups your face, forgetting the audience right along with you, until Yuuji clears his throat, and you smile at them, tummy doing fucking flips at how good you feel.
“Thanks Megumi.” You say softly, he shrugs.
“She’s a bitch.” You snort a bit, covering your mouth, looking up at Choso again, who has a more serious expression.
“Is it fine I called you my girl?” He asks, you feel it, his nerves then, you nod with the biggest smile, and he exhales. “Okay, good, because I want it to be true.”
“Maybe it will be, let’s see this surprise.” You tease, pecking a kiss on his lips softly again. “I can’t wait.”
As you’re sipping on a drink you watch them start their set, you’re right up front and center, watching Choso’s finger strum the guitar like they’re made to do it, he leans close to the mic and starts singing. His voice resonates through the entire room, earning everyone’s avid attention, including of course, yours.
You watch him intently, as he performs songs you’ve known forever, you’re cheering and dancing and he keeps smiling at you, keeps looking at you. You feel so special then, more than you can ever remember feeling, the fear dissipating with every honeyed flick of his fingers on the guitar, at moments you shut your eyes and just let it wash through you.
You head to get another drink as they prep for the next song, when suddenly there’s a hushed quiet when Choso speaks, making you turn back around and stare at him.
“This song was written in a rush, these two had to learn it so fast, they probably wanna kick my ass.” He says, the crowd laughs a bit, you’re headed back through them with your drink, smiling up at Choso curiously. “But it’s dedicated to someone special, someone I’ve known forever, but who has become very special to me.”
He says your name then.
You can hardly remember your name before he spoke it, before he looked at you like that, and he’s pointing at you, earning the crowd parting just a bit for you. You feel the heat of everyone’s gaze, hear their murmurs, but you’re too entranced and in shock to really see anything but violet eyes across from you on the stage.
“I hope you… I know you’ll get it.” He says then, hoping the lights on the stage didn’t make his blush show too much, then he begins playing, as do Megumi and Yuuji, a melodic tune that sounds nothing like you’ve heard from them.
A/N: *disclaimer I am no songwriter, be easy on me lol*
When the world fades to gray and all I can see is you,
When the nights blend to days and all I feel is you.
The smile on your face it dances across all my dreams,
Feelings so raw it’s like I’m bursting at the seams.
The melody is soft, it’s not their usual rock music, it’s a ballad so beautiful it brings tears to your eyes, hearing the hoarseness of Choso’s voice as he pours his heart into every word. You sniffle and take a shaky sip, trembling as everyone watches you both in wonder, but it is just you two, isn’t it? Hasn’t it always been?
I’d die to have you in my arms every night,
Oh what I’d do to hold you so tight.
To press kisses along your lips,
To touch you with fingertips.
You’re heating up now, breathless as you continue to watch, utterly enamored, it’s as if you feel these words like a physical touch, overheating your body. You break apart that last barrier of fear, piece by piece, because you can’t just make this up, you can feel it, all of him, in all his sincerity.
In a crowded room all I see is you,
Praying at night for all my dreams to come true.
A girl with a smile that can brighten my heart,
A girl with eyes that tear me apart.
Your eyes are a mess, you’re absolutely sure that there is makeup running down your face, as he melody continues, as he starts pouring his heart to you, as he makes you smile, as he makes you melt. You’re trembling so hard your knees nearly knock, aching to be held by him, for him to never let go. You know you have to take things slow, but at this moment it feels impossible.
Feelings I’ve always known,
Feelings I’ve never shown.
She’s the girl that you write songs for,
She’s the girl that I’ve longed for.
By my side through it all,
Never knew we could fall.
The realization that I have come to,
That there’s nobody but you
At that moment you’re a mess, he ends the song but before he can finish you’ve jumped on the stage, he swings his guitar behind him, and you kiss him, pulling him down to you as everyone claps for him. It’s thunderous, but you don’t hear shit, just your pulse racing, just Choso’s heart thudding, he pulls back with tears in his eyes, breaths coming so quick.
“Choso, I hear you. I feel you.” You whisper, brokenly then, and he kisses you deeply, arms wrapping around you.
“I do mean it, I mean it all angel.” You nod, swiping at your tears and smiling so brightly, he leans close, cupping your face, smiling.
“Finish the set.” You whisper, giggling then as you hop off the stage, everyone is enamored as Choso clears his throat, and they start their usual fare. You head to the bathroom, slamming into Amber then, who scoffs at you.
“You, hmm?” She demands, earning your glare.
“What’s your problem with me? It’s not like you and Choso dated.”
“No? Well he sure had his cock in my mouth.”
You tense now. “And? We weren’t together.”
“Don’t you think…” She leans close. “That if he really wanted you, he’d have been with you this entire time?”
“I…” Your mind whirls with doubt, she smiles all nasty at you.
“No worries, I got Gojo’s number, maybe I’ll take your other guy?”
“Psh, like I care about Gojo. Please do, maybe he’ll quit sending me his dick pics.” You say, smirking at her then, she is furious at you.
“He said you’re just friends, you know.”
“Yeah well, I don’t care what he said. It doesn’t matter. We’re not ‘just friends’ any longer, so I expect you to back the fuck off hmm?” You step right to her, damn near nose to nose, and she backs up just a step.
“We’ll see about all that.” She walks off now, leaving you shaky as you peer into the mirror, you feel sick at thinking of them together, once you pull yourself together somewhat you step out, seeing her all clinging to his arm.
Choso shrugs her off though, glaring, and when he sees you he starts walking your way, filling you with so much relief, it’s like you can breathe again. “Was she a bitch to you?”
“Yeah, she’s really salty.” Choso snorts then, kissing you gently for everyone to see. “I hate that you were with her.”
“I hate you were with him.” He murmurs, leaning close to your ear. “How slow are we taking this?”
“Mmm…” You trail your hands down his strong arms. “We said slow…”
“I could eat you out really slow?” Your eyes shoot up to his, god you haven’t been touched that way in so long, and by him especially, you feel his words shoot between your thighs. “I want to feel you cum so badly, watch your pretty face, your last time cumming was…”
“Thinking of you.” You cut him off, surprising him then. “It was playing with myself, thinking of you.”
“Fuck…” Choso kisses you deeper, pressing you against the wall right by the bathroom, his hands on your waist, pressing in. “I’ll take it slow, whatever it is you want to do, I will.”
“You wanna lick me slow huh?” You’re giggling at the thought. “Lick me where, Choso?”
“You know where, you’re so bratty right now.” You can’t stop your giggles, making him desire you even more. “Don’t I owe you a couple orgasms?”
“Maybe you do. Two I think.”
“So I’ll give you two, and we won’t go further… yet.”
“Where?” He exhales now.
“I want you home… I mean… my home.”
“Staying the night is a lot really quick, this is like our second date?” You tease, he smiles shyly then.
“We can just cuddle, we can do anything. Please just come home… over to my home…”
“You’ve said that twice.” He is a blushing mess, it melts you. “I’ll come over for a night cap then.”
“Yeah!?”
You laugh, nodding. Soon you’re pulling into Choso’s home, and it’s a little nerve wracking. Then you remember the last time you were in his bed, you don’t know how you hold back. Choso’s bending down, slipping off your heels, pecking kisses up your thighs then, earning your gasp as you’re dripping wet in your panties.
“Wanna get more comfy?” He asks softly, you nod shyly then, and soon you’re only wearing one of his soft band tees, coming out to see Choso has made you a drink, he hands it to you as you walk in the kitchen, leaning on the counter then. “You’re so beautiful.” He says, brushing your hair back.
“You’re beautiful, Cho bear.” He shakes his head with a little eye roll.
“You always sucked at taking compliments.”
“I know, ugh.” You sip on the drink in the quiet kitchen then, he bends over you, arms on either side of the counter.
“Do you know how badly I wanna fuck any memory out of your head of him?” His words hit you violently, your pussy throbs around nothing. “I won’t yet, but if you think I don’t you’re insane.”
“I… you…”
“I’ll settle for licking the memories out of your pretty head.” You can’t stop the whine from the back of your throat then, only urging him on, he’s got you lifted on his counter then, shocking you. “Let me take care of you, angel, yeah? Just like that first night, when I first tasted you.”
“Please.” Is all you manage, and Choso’s slipping up your shirt, moaning when he finds you bare, sinking to his knees then, he’s so tall it puts him right at face height with your pussy, which his breath alone makes you jerk. “Cho…”
“So fucking perfect.” He swipes a tongue up your slit, your hands enwrap in his dark silky locks, as he shoves your thighs apart, tongue ring hitting your clit. “Mmm… so yummy, fuck.” He huffs now, black blunt nails pressing into the plush of your thighs as he slips his tongue up again.
“Cho!” You whimper, already pathetic, he watches the arousal pool from your little hole, making him throb, cock so hard he can’t take it. He starts drinking you up, the slurping sounds in the kitchen erotic, as his barbell keeps flicking over and over. “Oh my god…”
You’re already close, it’s so quick but he knows you, he knows your pussy, where you like it, what pressure, and when he’s sucking your clit in his mouth, humming on it and watching you, you fall apart. You can’t hold back at all, cumming so much it’s a mess, all over his face, which he eagerly drinks while you’re yanking his hair so hard it hurts, but it makes him harder.
“Good girl, that’s it.” Choso murmurs when he pulls back, you’re blinking vision back, blinded then, taking several breaths as he leans up, slipping a finger in your slick walls, which clench him. “So tight, fuck… soaking me, huh angel?”
“Mnh…” You can’t manage a word, hearing your greedy pussy sucking his fingers so deep. He’s curling it up, leaning to you, lips brushing yours, you lick yourself right off him, hands shaking as you clutch his shirt. “M-missed it… f-fuck…”
“I missed you, missed feeling you.” Choso’s words, his finger curling sends you back over that edge, your eyes roll back, head falling, he kisses down your throat then, slipping another finger. “Feel that stretch, huh baby?”
“Ngh!” You nod, gasping when he’s back down, using his fingers and his mouth at the same time, bringing you higher and higher, all while violet, dilated eyes watch your every expression. Choso’s pulsing himself then, as your walls flutter around him, as your slick pools down his wrist, so slippery now, all while he drinks you, watching you fall apart.
You’re shaking violently, thighs closing around his head as the orgasm washes over you, as the coil in your tummy releases, your scream is so loud your voice breaks in the middle. You’re sobbing when he’s done, it’s so fucking good, gasping for breath, he places a kiss on your pussy then, groaning at it, and you desperately yank him to you, kissing him.
He moans, deepening the kiss, and he feels it then, the sticky hot cum from eating you out start pouring in his sweats, he panics at it, pulling back, and looking at your cock drunk face, eyes dilated so much he can barely see the iris. Your cunt is drooling, he leans down to lap it up again, whimpering as his cock pushes out more cum, picturing it in you.
“Cho, lemme take care of-”
“Ah, no… I already…”
He leans up now, blushing furiously, and your eyes dart down, seeing it now, soaking wet spot on his sweats, sticky white pooling through the material. “I didn’t touch you?”
“You didn’t have to.” He smiles nervously, exhaling. “I’m sorry-”
“No! No… it means you really love it.” You whisper, biting your lip as he eases you off the counter. Choso cups your face carefully, words of love threatening to spill, but he doesn’t know if you’re ready yet.
“Loving it is an understatement, watching you cum? Your pretty face? The way your body shakes? I can’t explain it. And your taste, how wet you get… I couldn’t take it, it just… happened.” You giggle now, earning his glare. “Are you laughing at me? That cruel, hmm?”
“No, I’m just… it’s so cute!”
“Cute? Ugh.”
“I’m sorry it is sweet, and cute… and flattering.” You kiss him over and over, uncaring as his sticky lap presses against your tummy. “I can clean you up?’
“Oh god, I won’t make that right now. No, I want it for you, tonight.”
“Like the first night?”
“Mhmm.” He kisses your forehead now, exhaling. “Let me clean up and we can cuddle, if you want?”
“I want.”
Soon you’re back somewhere you never thought you’d be again, Choso Kamo’s strong arms, he’s got one wrapped around you as you lay on his chest, trailing little circles mindlessly against his bare skin, over his tattoos. You know the story behind them all, you went to him with most of them, but you can’t help but find them incredibly sexy.
His other hand brushes up and down your spine, making you shiver and hum just a bit, you lean your chin up, looking at him then, feeling the words threatening to spill, but not just yet. “I’m still scared, Cho bear.”
He frowns at that, sighing. “I know, angel. I know.”
“I want to say more, but…”
“You can wait, we have all the time, yeah?”
“Yeah.” You kiss him and smile, blissed out from his presence, from the pleasure he brings you.
“How about another date?” You nod eagerly, smiling against his neck as you snuggle up to him.
“I’d love that. I’ll pick it?”
“You’ll pick it.”
“I hope Amber will fuck off by the way?”
“You can beat her up?”
“I could.” He moans at that, yanking you closer.
“Hot.” You both giggle. “I didn’t enjoy it with her. Physical and nothing else? It felt so…”
“Empty.”
“Yeah, empty. But fuck I can’t forget the hurt on your face, and I hate it still, that it made you…”
“Cho…”
“I hate him, I’m sorry. It’s like he knew you were upset and thrived off it.” You wince now, shaking your head.
“He just wanted fun, I doubt it.”
“You’re too sweet sometimes. If I see him? I can’t make promises.”
“You’ll kick his ass for my honor huh?” He chuckles.
“For lots of reasons, starting with high school. Even then, I wish…”
“It’s okay, we have now. Let’s not focus on back then.” He wishes he could change it all though, take away your pain, but he’s so thankful, he nods now, kissing your head and continuing his gentle touches. “This feels so perfect. It’s scary how perfect.”
“It is perfect. Good night, angel.” You yawn, smiling and shutting your eyes, snuggling deeper as you fall into a slumber, the tentative happiness making you sleep quickly, though there’s fear in both your hearts, of what could come between you.
“I… love you. I’m in love with you.” Choso whispers, as he hears you lightly snore, making his heart swell in his chest, hoping one day soon he can tell you.
A/N- I know the last chap was HEAVY with the angst, but they had to go through the worst and a seperation, truly to find each other. The story isn't over, and not done yet, but I hope you're enjoying it even if it got dark for a bit here! I look forward to your comments
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Much Needed Rest. .
SYNOPSIS: wouldn't it be lovely to just finally get the rest you were so deprived of?
CHARACTERS: dan heng x reader ╱ established relationship
A/N: mwah i conjured this up at 11pm cuz i keep seeing my boy sleeping in every single bit of fanart god bless
WORD COUNT: 1.8k
It was an almost cultural shock when Dan Heng had stepped foot off of the Express as soon as Pom Pom had announced that they were making a stop at the Xianzhou Luofu. You initially had no idea why your boyfriend was acting so weary and suddenly seemed a bit more cautious than usual. But now, after learning everything, you can’t say that you were surprised.
It made sense that someone would be anxious about returning to their home after initially being banished there due to their past life.
Once you were actually aware of what Dan Heng had been through, you simply felt nothing but sympathy and remorse. It was definitely horrible to have been constantly referred to and compared to his past when he wasn’t that same person anymore. You couldn’t imagine how stressful it might’ve been for Dan Heng and..
Wait, has he even slept properly?
Dan Heng hadn’t slept not once when he returned to the Express. In his new form, appearing to be as irritated and bothered as ever. Which definitely sent alarm bells ringing inside your body as soon as you took a peek at his simmering teal eyes that seemingly glowed a lot brighter than usual as he spoke to Mr. Yang. You just assumed that his eyes were in fact glowing. Taking a closer look, you realized that there was the slightest hint of dark circles appearing underneath your boyfriend’s eyes. No one else seemed to notice it though. Was it just you being a bit too observant? You didn’t know but what you did know was that Dan Heng seemed to just be a bit drowsy. No matter how hard he tried to hide it, you could sense it from a mile away.
However, just how in the world were you supposed to get a vidyadhara in bed? A vidyadhara that barely slept in the first place much less?
It was a difficult mission but you knew that it had to be done eventually so why not start now as soon as everyone else was asleep as well? It couldn’t hurt to try. Unfortunately, Dan Heng wasn’t too on board with the way that you kept intensely staring at his face as if you were scrutinizing him in a way throughout the entire day of him coming back to the Express. He couldn’t exactly help it when on the Luofu, the first thing that people did once they gave him a good look was to either be scared of him or try to kill him.
So, it was very understandable why he was a bit weary but he couldn’t be too irritated. He was dating you after all. He knew better than anyone that you had no malicious intent towards him. But what he really didn’t expect was for you to appear on the other side of the Archive’s closed door in the middle of the night. Dan Heng had mentally decided that he’d only appear in this form at night just so nothing would feel suppressed and so he could, unfortunately, get used to it.
A knock, followed by another one, and then a few others soon followed before he mentally facepalmed. He found the relentless sounds a bit tedious in the dead of the night. “Enter,” Dan Heng had soon said, watching the door open to reveal your half awake form on the other side. He should’ve known that it was you and not March after all. March probably would’ve had a way more annoying announcement of her presence.
No matter how annoyed he probably (most likely) seemed, he enjoyed the visit and couldn’t hide just how softer and quieter his tone had gotten.
“Did you need something?” It was nothing but a soft murmur that had left from his lips as soon as the door had closed behind you.
“A certain someone looked a bit too tired as soon as he returned,” You said, albeit slightly accusatory, as one of your hands came up as a half hearted attempt at rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. Rooming with March was quite the adventurous idea to say the least. She wasn’t a light sleeper by any means but she snores. Heavily.
The accusation only earned a blank look from your boyfriend that soon became a look of something unidentifiable as one of his eyebrows lifted once he fully took in the words. Dan Heng was trying his hardest not to fall into the trap (that honestly sounded amazing in his mind) but he couldn’t help how exhausted his body felt. He turned his back towards you as his skilled hands turned through pages of a book that he was definitely not reading anymore. He had an even better distraction now. “Is that why you were staring me down throughout the entire day? Which was a bit. . concerning from my perspective by the way.”
“Precisely. You need actual sleep instead of just these small power naps.” You shot back almost immediately as Dan Heng swiftly glanced over his shoulder towards you silently for a moment, his longer hair moving in sync with the head turn.
“I feel as though you have an ulterior motive with this.” He accused this time around. But, you knew that he wasn’t upset by any means. If anything, this was just his way of playing along. However your eyes kept staring slightly at the dark circles under your boyfriend’s eyes.
“And so what if I do? I see nothing wrong with rooming with you instead of March for the night. Besides,” You trailed off as you took a couple steps closer towards Dan Heng, his gaze unwavering but still appeared to be softer the closer you had gotten. Now, your tired eyes can finally take a good look at him. You more so became a bit close towards his back so you could be face to face.
“Just who are you to deny me anything without you eventually giving in?” You finished saying but this time in a quieter tone. That earned a slight chuckle and smile to emit from him.
“I suppose I have no choice but to indulge, do I?” He said, only in amusement this time. However the more he spoke, he definitely had a more of a drowsy tone than earlier when he spoke. All of this distracting was actually making his system realize just how much sleep he wanted— no, needed is the better word to use.
You only nodded and slowly slipped the book out of Dan Heng’s hands, closing it and putting it down on a nearby desk before taking one of his hands and practically dragging him towards the bed. It was big enough, surely it could fit both of you. Meanwhile, Dan Heng was still reeling about how he basically agreed to something as intimate as this. He had never done something even remotely close to this before you came into his life so it made just a small hint of blush appear on his otherwise stoic face.
The idea of cuddling in the beautiful night sky— or well, space felt a bit too romantic for him but if it made you happy then Dan Heng wouldn’t fully disagree with it. He would be okay with it. So when you had laid down first, he didn’t hesitate to accompany you right beside you. Dan Heng couldn’t deny how odd and awkward this was a first. You took the lead and eventually sought him out and brought him closer and into your arms, which you tell that surprised him heavily from how his breath hitched in your ear. Both of your legs tangling themselves with Dan Hen’s legs. It was awkward at first but, after a bit of shifting around, a comfortable position and spot was found for the both of you.
“Tense,” You noted out loud. He practically side eyed you with a half hearted attempt of relaxing his tense body and soon genuinely sinking into your embrace and returning it. Dan Heng buried his face into your chest and wrapped his arms around your lower half tightly just so you wouldn’t leave. He wouldn’t dare let you leave when he had just become comfortable. It would crush him. “This better?” He muttered quietly. To which you responded with a small nod and a happy hum.
You could feel the earlier drowsiness overtaking your body and, without thinking much, one of your hands came up to the top of Dan Heng’s head. Your fingers slowly carding through the longer black hair, deliberately avoiding his horns to not cause any discomfort. This repeated motion felt as if you were petting him a sense and, unfortunately, Dan Heng loved it. He huffed quietly as he, unfortunately, felt himself leaning into the touch. He had never been like this before so this was definitely a new one for him but he couldn’t help the way that a content noise emitted from him.
The noise that followed soon after was nothing short of a quiet and embarrassed purr.
“Did you just—”
“Let’s not talk about it.” He immediately interrupted and you didn’t even have to completely look at him to know that he was definitely embarrassed and wouldn’t be looking at you any time soon to save his pride. You just dismissively shook your head but otherwise continued to seemingly pet your boyfriend. You could feel his body relaxing even further in your hold and that just made you even more drowsy. You yawned quietly which alerted Dan Heng that you were in the same boat as him. He subconsciously snuggled a bit closer and all of a sudden you felt a weird long and scaly thing wrapping around your waist.
One glance down and you realized that weird sensation that you were feeling was due to the teal and slightly translucent dragon tail that was connected to Dan Heng. You didn’t mind it though but it did spook you at first since it had happened with no warning. Besides, you were too tired to object to it even if you truly wanted to. You just closed your eyes and eventually, your movements came to a halt as your body practically went lax and your breathing had evened out. You were asleep while Dan Heng was still slightly awake. He noticed it immediately and took a small glance towards your sleeping face, ultimately deciding to be a bit brave for this small gesture, and leaned in to press the tiniest but softest kiss upon your forehead. It was as if he was silently saying “Goodnight.” since he hadn’t had the chance to before you fell into dreamland.
After doing that, Dan Heng felt a bit more comfortable with trying to fall asleep now. His head was still filled with an onslaught of swarming thoughts and anxieties but maybe, just maybe, he could put his worries aside for now and just allow himself this one time chance of freedom. He felt relieved when he finally fell asleep.
Dan Heng would have to definitely thank you for your constant insistence. He really needed it. And, most importantly, he needed you.
thank you for reading <3 have a good day, reblogs & comments are much appreciated !
© churinzie 2024. ノ all rights reserved
#𓈒 ◜churinzie◞ ﹠#𓈒 churin's writing ﹠#honkai star rail#dan heng x reader#dan heng x you#dan heng#hsr#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#hsr fluff
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Heartbreak Hot Seat | JTK
After seeking refuge at her best friends house, Y/N can’t seem to open up enough to let Josh help her with her troubles. In a twisted turn of events, it appears that his twin brother Jake has the perfect remedy for a broken heart.
Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!reader
Word Count: 20k
Warnings: SMUT 18+, unprotected sex, fingering (f!receiving), oral (f!receiving), oral (m!receiving), body worshipping, sir kink, impact play, praise, degradation, biting, nipple play, lots (and I mean lots) of dirty talk, lots (can’t stress that enough) of foreplay, body shots, softer sex (compared to what I usually write), overstimulation, multiple orgasm, (sort of) forced orgasm, simultaneous orgasm, begging, very brief and inadvertent mentions of free use kink, slight dom/sub, name calling, touch of angst, mentions of cheating/bad past relationships, breakups, sadness/depression (due to breakups), crying, long emotional talks, drinking, parting, Jake being too sweet for his own good, soft Jake, fluff, swearing, sorry if i miss any!!
hi guys ☺️ i miss writing Jake so much I had to hit you with back to back fics. this is literally porn w plot (over 2/3 of this is just smut I think), so I hope you enjoy this as much as I liked writing it! As always, enjoy, be kind, don’t mind any grammar mistakes 🤍 (I’m so, so happy to be back) (lightly edited 🥰)
“Here, you want to try this?” Josh asked, nudging your arm in hopes of breaking you from your solemn state. You blinked a few times, feeling his elbow on your skin, but his words were far away. They seemed like an echo in an empty room, like you had walked into the place only after he stopped speaking. Breathing seemed like a treacherous task, your bones aching every time your lungs inflated. You stared blankly at his hand, holding a fork in his grasp as he kindly offered you a taste of whatever he was eating. “Jake made it, it’s good.”
Jake made it.
You were sure whatever he made would be good, but the thought of food was worse than sickening to you. You wanted to be kind, to try the meal your friend (even if by extension) had made, especially after he offered you the hospitality for an afternoon hangout his home, but you couldn’t seem to accept the gracious offer. The crowd in the living room was overwhelming, despite only a few bodies being present. The chatter was loud and pulsing against your already busy brain, and Josh’s leg resting against yours was nice, but much more than you could handle in the moment.
Josh knew there was something wrong, but unlike usual, he could not seem to pry it from you. Over the last three nights you had spent crashing in his spare room, he used every ounce of energy to comfort you despite being unaware of what exactly your troubles were. You knew you could reach out to him anytime, talk to him about anything, but right now, it seemed impossible to speak the words aloud.
You had been friends with the boy for what seemed like a lifetime, surviving off his constant company and thriving off his eccentric personality. He stuck by your side through college graduations, career changes, and every challenge life seemed to throw your way. You were a busy woman, and he a busy man, and neither of you had much time for social lives outside of your demanding work schedules. Even so, that fact made your friendship all the stronger, because despite your lack of free time, you always made time for each other.
So when you showed up at his doorstep, 3am and crying while spewing absolute nonsense, he guided you to his spare bedroom and told you that it was yours for as long as you needed. The next morning, he came to check on you only to find you hadn’t slept at all. Hours spent sitting beside you attempting to cheer you up only resulted in further confusion and frustration. Despite his busy life, he cleared his schedule and made it a priority to be with you until you felt better. That afternoon, you managed some small talk, but avoided the elephant in the room. The next day, things felt a little more normal between the two of you. A few jokes were shared, and you even had a movie night in the living room with him and his partner. By then, Josh had vowed to let you speak on your own terms, but was doing everything he could to brighten your mood.
Today, when you woke from a broken and nightmare filled sleep, Josh knocked at your door to ask if you would like to get out of the house. After some internal debate, you decided it might be good for you, it might help you forget the only thing you could seem to think about, even if it was temporary. You showered (with Josh talking through the door and stressing the importance of self-care, of course), changed into some clothes you stuffed into a duffel bag during your quick escape, and the three of you hit the road.
After a short drive, you landed at the door of his twin brother’s house, where you would spend your afternoon. Jake, who you had heard loads of things about, was still a mystery to you. Between conflicting schedules and trying (and failing, sometimes) to find time to hang out with Josh, you never got much of an opportunity to get to know Jake, or even Sam for that matter. You knew he was quieter, a little more reserved than Josh, but was funny and had a heart of gold. You chalked up his praise to being his brother, but you never knew Josh to be a liar about anything. You trusted all he had to say about his brothers, and despite your sadness, you were excited to finally meet them properly, rather than just in passing.
You said a brief hello to Jake at times, mostly when you were leaving Josh’s house and he was heading in. You remembered him to be on the shorter side, but with a breathtaking smile and long, brown hair. When you stepped foot into the house and finally had time to appreciate the man standing in front of you, you understood Jake was a lot more than a pretty smile and long hair. He was stunning, and despite your broken heart, you couldn’t help but stare.
Not long after your brief introduction, the rest of the crowd begin to filter in. Sam and his girlfriend both seemed lovely, and Daniel and the friend he brought with him were just as nice. Jake had made lunch, and whatever it was smelled heavenly even if the thought of food sickened you. After a few hours of laughing and talking, the boys went back for seconds, clearing out the last of the food in the kitchen. The day was dwindling into evening, and you still hadn’t managed to break from your solemn state. You sat, listening to all of the conversations and laughing along to jokes, but didn’t find yourself with enough energy to contribute much.
Josh, clearly picking up on your lack of involvement, was doing all he could to help. Offering food was just another failed attempt of many.
“I’m okay, Josh. Thank you though.” You forced a smile, feeling guilty for your constant rejection. You wanted to tell him so badly, but every time you worked up enough courage to explain it, your words failed you and you thought you might be sick. His sad eyes seemed to be staring into your soul, and it was becoming too much to bear. “I’m, uh, is it okay if I grab something to drink?” You cleared your throat, asking for permission in hopes of changing the subject.
“F’course it is, mama.” He assured you. “You want me to come with you?”
“No, it’s okay.” You assured him, sliding forward and rising to your feet.
“Grab anything in the fridge. I know Jake won’t care.” He said, making sure you didn’t feel bad about taking anything.
“Okay.” You smiled, small but genuine. You didn’t feel deserving of Josh’s kindness, but you were still grateful he cared for you so much. If not for him, you would have nobody to lean on.
Quietly, you walked out of the living room and in the direction of the kitchen Jake had lead you to earlier in the day. When you were alone, you let out a long sigh. The kitchen was decorated nicely, simple but tasteful, and the sweet smell of whatever Jake had cooked was still lingering in the air. Instead of walking to the refrigerator, you took a seat at one of the kitchen chairs pulled out from the table, deciding a minute alone was more important than a glass of water.
You closed your eyes, letting your head fall back on your shoulders. The chatter floating in from the next room was much less overwhelming, and you finally felt like you could breathe without the constant ache in your chest. Just when you felt like you were getting your bearings back, you heard soft footsteps puttering through the hallway. You swallowed the lump in your throat, the same one that was constantly bothering you since you showed up at Josh’s house, and prepared for another round of questions from your best friend. You didn’t turn to face him, figuring he would make himself known in due time.
“Hey, Y/N, right?” The voice was not as familiar to you, and definitely not the voice you thought it would be. You looked over your shoulder, curious as to who was talking. Your eyes landed on Jake, a sheepish smile on his face as he stood by the door.
“Hey, yeah.” You nodded, trying to make yourself friendlier than you felt. It was not Jake making you miserable, or anyone for that matter. You wanted to be having fun, to be getting to know the people most important to your best friend, but the weight on your shoulders made it so hard to enjoy the moment.
“I saw you sneak out, thought I’d come and check in on you.” He explained, careful with his words. “Mind if I sit?” You gave a chuckle, and genuine smile as you listened to his words.
“It’s your kitchen, Jake, f’course you can sit.”
“Right,” he nodded, stepping towards you. “Guess I was wondering if you were up for company, or if you just needed a minute alone. I know it can be a lot to handle when we’re all together.”
“No! You guys are great, guess I’m just not in it today.” You said, knowing he hit the nail straight on the head but you were too nice to admit it. “Come sit, please.” He did as you said, pulling out the chair at the head of the table. He was in perfect view and facing you, giving you ample opportunity to soak in his features as he thought about how to continue the conversation.
“That’s okay, sweetheart. Josh mentioned you were going through a tough time when I called him this morning. We were kinda hoping it would take your mind off whatever’s going on.” You wanted to recoil at the idea of Josh sharing your sorrows with a man you did not know, but the intent was sweet, and you knew Josh would never do anything to harm you. He was just a concerned friend looking for a way to cheer you up. Jake, despite being a near stranger, had enough kindness in his heart to want to help too.
And sweetheart.
You didn’t know the man, nor much about him, but you definitely wouldn’t mind if he called you that again.
“Thank you,” your lips twitched into another smile as you looked down at your hands on the table. “He’s pretty great, isn’t he?”
“Josh?” Jake asked for clarification that he heard right, raising his eyebrow at you. You gave a small nod, almost wanting to laugh at his incredulous tone. “Yeah, I mean I guess. I kind of have to agree, cause he’s my brother and all.” At that, a genuine laugh filled the air, the first one that left your lips in days. Jake was hung on your laugh the minute it left your lips, finding the sound addicting despite just having heard it for the first time. The smile on his face made it apparent he only came to cheer you up, and he was happy he could do it even for a moment. “No, he is pretty great, even if I do hate him by times.”
“It’s a sibling thing, I think.” You said, looking back up at his face. “Love them, even when you hate them.”
“Exactly.” He nodded, agreeing with you. “He’s my best friend, but it doesn’t mean I don’t want to kill him sometimes. Has a great heart, but he can be a bit… annoying.”
“Josh? No.” You scoffed, playing into the bit as clear sarcasm dripped from your tone. At that, Jake let out a laugh of his own. You watched, in amazement at how beautiful such a simple sound could be. “Seriously though, I don’t know what I’d do without him.”
“Yeah, you guys have been friends for a long time, haven’t you?” He asked, leaning forward and into the conversation. It was your turn to nod, finding years of memories flash before your eyes when you thought of it for too long.
“Yeah, I met him as I was finishing up my graduate program in university. He’d just moved here, and I guess he was looking for some friends. Right place right time, I suppose.”
“Funny how things like that work out.” He said, listening intently to every word.
“For sure.” You hummed, pursing your lips slightly at the memory of how you met. “Ran into him at a bar, drunk off tequila and singing a terrible rendition of… oh, fuck, what was it?” You racked your brain, trying so hard to find the name of the song in the mess of your mind. “It was Neil Young, I remember that much.” You sighed, shaking your head at your spotty memory.
“Don’t Let It Bring You Down.” He finished for you, a sparkle shining in his eye as he saw your expression light up.
“Yes! How did you know?” You asked, shocked he knew before you did.
“I was there that night, and I definitely made fun of him just as much as you did.” He explained, chuckling at the thought.
“You were there?” You asked, even more surprised at that fact.
“Yeah, think I was playing pool with Sam. Josh sucks at pool, so he was trying to find a thrill elsewhere. He told us he met someone, he really liked their ‘energy’. Guess he was talking about you.” He continued, nodding at himself as he recollected the night from so long ago. “That, and he sings that damn song every time he drinks tequila.”
“Huh,” you huffed, wondering how you managed to miss him that night. “I guess I was out the door pretty fast. I don’t even think I talked to Josh for very long. Got his number and we were off to the next bar. We loved to party back then.”
“Shame, cause he’s been keeping you an awful secret for the last few years.” Jake let out a disapproving tsk at the end of his statement.
“No, it’s not him.” You promised, shutting down the notion. “Life’s crazy. I’m either always stuck at work, or at home—“ you cut yourself off, hearing the sound of the word fall from your lips. It was wrong, and so much so that it twisted your stomach with nausea. “Stuck at work.” You doubled back, feeling a frown start to form again. The word home felt like a sour taste in your mouth that you couldn’t swallow back.
Jake watched you for a moment, curious about your sudden change of heart, but understanding it might not be the best time to venture into it.
“Did you want a drink, sweetheart?” Jake asked, his eyes flickering to the fridge. “Maybe something to take your mind off it?” You debated, wondering if it would better or worsen your mental state. Before you could decline, he spoke again. “I was gonna have one anyway, so it’s no trouble at all. Be nice to have someone to drink with, anyway.”
“Fuck it, why not?” You breathed, watching as another breathtaking smile blossomed on his lips. “I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt.”
“Great.” He stood, taking two steps past you as he approached a cabinet by the refrigerator. “Want to come have a look?” He offered, looking back over his shoulder at you. You shrugged, nodding as you stood to join him. He opened the doors, revealing a plethora of bottles that all looked a little more expensive than you were used to. “Whatever you want.”
You noticed how close he was standing, how sweet his cologne smelled as it wafted in your direction. It was musky, ambery even, with sandalwood standing strong against the undertones. He had his finger resting against his chin as his eyes scanned the labels, clearly unsure of what he wanted, too. You couldn’t help but study the intricacies of his face, the bridge of his nose and how it casted a shadow over his soft cheeks, the unintentional pout of his bottom lip, and the enchanting colour of his irises. He was stunning, and it was hard not to notice it.
‘Stop it, Y/N. You’re in no position to think anyone is attractive, let alone your best friends brother.’ Your thoughts were right, full of warnings you knew you should listen to, yet there was something so enchanting about Jake that made it difficult to listen. ‘Thinking he’s attractive is only bad if I plan to act on it, which I’m definitely not. It’s okay to admire him, as long as that’s all it is.’ You felt the devil weigh in on the matter, and for some reason, that train of thought was much easier to go along with.
So you did. Simple as that, you decided to allow yourself the pleasure. It was almost as simple as acknowledging how beautiful Jake was.
“Anything catching your eye?” He asked, looking over at you. You knew he was aware of your staring, and when your eyes caught his, your cheeks tinged red. He gave you a smile, silently telling you all was well.
“There’s so much to choose from.” You said, forcing yourself to look back at the liquor cabinet.
“Do you like it straight, or do you prefer something sweet?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at you once again. Although the question was innocent and clearly pertaining to the topic at hand, you couldn’t help but feel your heart speed. Your body was encased in goosebumps at the simple thought of him meaning it in any other way.
“Usually sweet, but I think today I could handle it straight.” You replied, having to tear your eyes away from him again. Had you looked for a moment longer, you might have noticed the ghost of a smirk on his face.
“This is my favourite.” He said, reaching out and grabbing an expensive looking bottle. He brought it down to your level, leaning into you slightly as he let you read the label for yourself. As his arm brushed against yours, you felt the same pull of your heart as you did when he first sat across from you.
“I’ll try it out.” You mumbled, a little breathless as he looked over your face.
“Good taste,” he hummed. “You’ll like it, I promise.” He assured you, his tongue darting out over his bottom lip ever so slightly.
“I trust you.” You said, feeling like you were coercing your tongue to speak the words.
“You should.” He responded, waiting for you to step away first. It felt like an eternity before you stepped backwards towards the table, but when you did, you missed the closeness of him almost immediately. The warmth of his body against yours was memorable, and definitely something you wanted to feel again.
You returned to your seat at the table, followed closely behind by Jake. Before he sat, he grabbed two glasses and the ice tray from the freezer. Carefully, he poured yours first before adding a few ice cubes to the cup. Then, he nudged it in your direction before fixing his own drink.
“What’s on your mind, beautiful?” He asked, swirling his ice around his cup before bringing it to his lips. As he sipped at the amber liquid, his eyes never left your face.
“Oh, nothing important.” You shook your head, averting your gaze to the glass in your hand. You did the same, raising the crystal to your lips and drinking down the alcohol like it was water.
“You’re drinking that awfully fast for someone who’s got ‘nothing important’ going on.” He noted, cocking his head to the side for a moment, as if he was trying to figure you out. “I’ve got an ear to lend, if you want to talk.” He offered, but opted not to press any further. He didn’t want to force you if you weren’t willing, but he did want you to know that the floor was yours if you needed.
“I wouldn’t want to bore you.” You chuckled, watching the condensation of the glass drip onto your fingers. The chill of the liquid distracted you from the severity of the topic. “You’ve been kind enough already, Jake. Seriously, I can’t thank you enough for inviting me.”
“No thanks needed, y/n. Seriously, Josh talks about you enough that I feel like I already know you, and trust me when I say, I like you just as much as he does.” He promised, taking another small sip of his drink. “And I offered, sweetheart. I want to listen, even if you don’t think I do.”
“What is with you two?” You chuckled, shaking your head at his staggering kindness. “Too nice for your own good, both of you.”
“And that’s a bad thing?” He grinned, finding your exasperation amusing.
“No, it’s not.” You shook your head, feeling your heart warm with gratitude for the two brothers. You barely knew Jake, but you agreed with what he said. Josh spoke about him enough that you felt like you were friends already, and by all of the nice things Josh had to say, you definitely liked him. Since stepping foot into the kitchen, you had come to greatly appreciate him for other reasons, too.
“That’s the heartbreak chair.” He explained, running a hand through his hair as he pushed it away from his face. “Something about it draws people in.” Your eyes flickered up to his face, shocked that he made such an assumption, and even more surprised that it was right. He barely knew you, but he could tell without you having to say a word.
“It’s that obvious?” You asked. He shook his head, rubbing his chin in his hand for a moment before he spoke again.
“No,” he cleared his throat, taking in a long breath before he continued. “Like I said, there’s something about that fuckin’ chair.”
“How so?”
“Two years ago, Sam sat there when his girlfriend broke up with him. Must’ve spent the whole night sitting there, drinking away the pain.” He said, thinking back on the event. “And Daniel, a few months back when him and his girlfriend went separate ways. Even Josh, a long time ago when we first moved here.” He explained. “Whatever it is, when people get their heart broken, they sit there. I usually sit here, but it’s not always me they’re talking to. Sometimes it’s Josh, or another friend, or anyone really.” You thought about his words, carefully considering your next question before asking it.
“Have you sat here?” Your eyes were showing the sadness you tried so hard to hide. You didn’t know why, but you were comfortable with Jake. You wanted to talk, to tell him all about the sadness plaguing you. Something about him made you believe that your sorrows were safe with him, and that he was the key to feeling better.
It was an invasive question, something personal and maybe too complicated for him to answer. You regretted asking, but hearing about his brother's sorrows didn’t sit right with you. If you were giving him a piece of you, you wanted a piece of him. He swallowed hard, his eyes flickering between your face and the whiskey in his cup. Eventually, he gave a slow nod.
“More than anyone else, I think.” His honesty was sobering, and it was admirable. Because of his willingness to share his sadness with you, you felt even better about opening up to him. “I’ve never been lucky in love. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.” He shrugged, the joke rolling off his tongue effortlessly despite the hidden pain in his eyes. “About six months ago, I was doing the same as you. Came home, she was gone without a trace. I stayed a few nights at Josh’s house, just ‘till I was strong enough to come back here, and I drank it all away. I’ve sat in that chair, sweetheart. You’re not the only broken heart this house has seen. Trust me.”
“It’s hard to open up to Josh about it.” You said, forcing your hand to hold the glass to the table. The burn of the alcohol in your chest was much preferred to the ache in your heart, but you persevered. “‘Specially when I watch how happy and in love he is. He’s got everything, you know? Nice house, kind heart, beautiful face, and a wonderful boyfriend. It’s intimidating talking about my mess of a life to someone who always seems to have their shit together.”
“I can see what you mean.” He nodded along, agreeing to an extent. “You know, he’d never think differently of you. He loves you a whole hell of a lot.”
“I know that, but I think when you’re this miserable, it’s hard to believe anyone cares that much.”
“For sure.” He said, swallowing down another mouthful of whiskey.
Just as he placed his cup down on the table, the distant chatter in the living room began to move closer. Both of you turned to the entryway to the kitchen, wondering what the disturbance was. Soon enough, the crowd filled the doorway, but only Sam and Josh were visible.
“Think we’re gonna head to the bar, you two in?” Sam asked, oblivious to the situation in front of him.
“I’m good.” Jake said, his tone firm and certain of his answer. Josh looked at you, curiosity in his eyes as he waited for a response.
“Y/N?” Josh asked, wondering if you were joining them. You looked between the twins, your eyes lingering a bit too long over Jake. When you looked back at Josh, you shook your head slightly.
“Think I might hang out here a bit longer, if that’s okay?”
“F’course it is.” Jake chimed in. “You go, I’ll get her back to your place safe and sound.” Josh looked to you once more, making sure you were alright. You gave him a smile, nodding your head in agreement with Jake.
“Okay, I’ll see you later. Love you, mama.”
“Love you too, Josh.” You smiled again, wider and with more warmth than ever.
With that, the group moved towards the door, and they were out in the yard within seconds. The silence hung heavy between you and Jake, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. So far, despite you being a stranger, your talk with Jake had been nothing but comfortable.
“So, does that mean you don’t think I have my life together?” Jake continued where you left off, clearly teasing. The smile on his face gave him away as he pulled his chair a little closer to you.
“‘Spose I don’t know you well enough to know, yet. From what I see, looks like you do, if that counts?” He let out a laugh, finding your humor despite the pain beautiful.
“You hungry?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. “Noticed you didn’t eat earlier.”
“Think I missed the draw on that one.” You said, looking at the empty dish on the stove. He stood, wordless as he walked to the refrigerator. He searched for a few seconds before pulling out a plate, flashing it in your direction.
“Put some away for you, just in case. I knew they would eat it all, so I just wanted to make sure there was some left.” He explained. The sound of his words made your heart ache, but it wasn’t in a bad way; the simple action, especially coming from someone who barely knew you, made the whole world seem a little bit brighter. You understood Josh’s constant talk of how big of a heart Jake had now that you had the chance to see it for yourself.
“Thank you, Jake.” You mustered the strength to speak, in awe of his attention to detail. He stuck it in the microwave, waiting for it to beep before placing it in front of you with a fork. Without mentioning it again, he sat back in the same spot, as if the last few minutes had never happened at all.
“What happened, sweetheart?” He asked again, more direct this time now that he felt he had some kind of leverage. Clearly he made a good enough impression on you, considering you hadn’t run out the door when the opportunity arose. Before responding, you took a few bites of the meal he’d made in preparation for his company. Your eyes fluttered closed in bliss, the taste something you had never experienced before. You weren’t sure if it was just because he was a good cook, or if it was because it had been days since you had a proper meal. Maybe, it was a combination of both.
For such a simple looking pasta dish, it was beyond anything you had ever eaten before.
“This is so fucking good, Jake.” You commended him for his efforts. He let out another laugh, happy that you were enjoying it.
“Good to know,” he nodded. “I’ll have to make it for you again sometime.”
“You’ll never get rid of me.” You joked, placing the fork down for a moment, wanting to make the meal last.
“Not the worst idea in the world.” He shrugged. You felt your cheeks dust with redness, his words almost too sweet for you to handle. You washed down the pleasant feeling of his compliments with another sip of whiskey, settling back in your seat as you prepared to confess.
“I think I’ve always been too blind to see the bad side of people,” you started, simple and easy to kick off the topic. “I like to see the best in everyone, ‘till the very end.”
“Admirable.” He responded quickly, shocking you with his interest in your sorrows.
“I dated this guy for a while, a few years at least. Guess it wasn’t always sunshine and rainbows, but I loved him, or the idea of him, more so. He moved in with me not long after we met, and it was nice. Things seemed real good for a long time, but a couple months ago, he kinda pulled back a bit. I didn’t think much of it, ‘cause I was working all the time anyway, but I probably should have.” You sighed. “I started noticing he was gone when I came home at night, or when he went out, he stayed out far too late for a couple drinks with friends. Found some… suspicious things around the house, but chalked it up to a bad memory.” You laughed, shaking your head at your own stupidity. “I went home after work on Friday, and he was in bed with another girl. Mutual friend, real pretty, sweet on the surface… everything that I’m not.”
“That’s not true, sweetheart.” He shook his head, stopping that thought before it could go any further.
“Think we were long overdue for a breakup, but I thought it would be more decent than that.” You shuddered, recalling the moment that had been plaguing you for days. “I’m less heartbroken over him than I am for the whole thing. It’s just… dehumanizing, I guess. How many times did we… you know, after they started? And in my bed? Where I sleep at night?” You continued, watching the ice circle the bottom of your cup as the liquid neared the end. Jake reached out for the bottle, popping the cork and refilling your glass for you. You smiled, a silent thank you for everything he was doing.
“There wasn’t really a fight, or anything. I mean, I yelled for a little while, but it wasn’t worth my time. I told him to pack his shit and get out, and I assume he did. I haven’t been back, but I haven’t heard from him, either. Guess I just… don’t want to be in that place right now, alone, with that memory.”
“Don’t know the guy, but I can tell you he’s a fucking idiot.” He said, throwing back the last of his drink and refilling his own cup. “I don’t blame you for not wanting to be home. Like I said, I stayed at Josh’s for a while too. Sometimes it’s nice to get out of the place full of stuff that reminds you of them.”
“Yeah, exactly.” You gave a somber nod, blinking away tears threatening your eyes. “Think it always circles back to the same thing at the end of the day… hard not to think it’s me, that I wasn’t enough, or if I could have done more. That’s the hardest part of it, really. Not like he was the boyfriend of the year or anything, but I never would have done that to him.” You took another long swig of whiskey, feeling your head begin to swirl with intoxication.
“It’s not you, Y/N. You know better than that.” He said, furrowing his brow as he thought over your story. “So what is it? What do you need?”
“What?” You asked, unsure of what he meant.
“He got what he wanted, so what do you need, sweetheart? To scream? Cry? To get so drunk that you don’t know where you are?” He listed the offers, as if they were all completely reasonable and understandable. He didn’t want to speak empty words, or give you reassurances that would wash right off your shoulders once he was done speaking. He wanted to help you feel better, however he could. “We could even key his car, if you know where to find it.”
You let out a laugh, one that shook your shoulders and made your stomach ache. While you laughed, tears slipped on to your cheeks, but they did not phase you. Jake’s company was so fantastic that the hurt didn’t even seem to bother you anymore.
“You’re too beautiful to be crying over someone like that, sweetheart.” He leaned over, using his thumb to brush away the teardrops staining your cheeks. Once he finished, he cupped your cheek in his palm, ensuring you knew he was being truthful.
“No idea how you’ve never been the bride, Jacob.” You said, exhaling a long breath as you melted into his touch. It felt nice to be touched at all, and even better to be touched by someone who cared. It felt like it had been an eternity since you had experienced that in particular.
“My day will come, just like yours will.” He promised. “I know it hurts, but with time, you’ll thank him for it, because a girl like you shouldn’t end up with a guy like that.”
“Thank you, Jake.” You said, the utmost sincerity in your voice.
“Don’t mention it.” He brushed off the thanks, smiling over at you. “Now what is it? What will make you feel better, right now? ‘Cause I’ll be damned if I send you out the door before you feel better.”
“I just want to stop.” You sighed, rubbing your face in your hands. “I want to stop hurting, to stop thinking about him, to stop feeling like a different person. I want to feel like me. I want to feel good, instead of being miserable.” Jake leaned back in his chair, watching your face carefully as he thought about your request. You looked over at him, chuckling at yourself. “I know, steep request. Probably not much in the world we can do about that. Yet, anyway.”
“No, there is.” He cleared his throat, pursing his lips together slightly. You raised an eyebrow at him, intrigued by his response.
“Go on.” You urged him, curious about his idea.
“I don’t know if I can help you feel exactly like yourself again,” he started, looking up at the ceiling while he tried to word his response. “But I definitely have a quick solution for some of those problems.”
“Let’s hear it, then.” He smirked at your eagerness to feel better. Before he continued, he threw back the last of his drink for a second time. You could tell he was feeling it now, too. His cheeks were tinged pink and his eyes grew heavier the longer he sipped away.
“You’re open to any suggestions?”
“Well, most.” You huffed, almost annoyed by how long he was dragging this out. “Maybe not murder or armed robbery.” He laughed at your exuberance, shaking his head slightly.
“Well, sweetheart…” he sighed. “You want to stop thinking about him, and you want to feel good.” He listed, waiting to see if he was correct. You nodded in response, still not seeming to piece the two together. “If you’re open to trying it, I’m sure I could solve both of those problems at once.”
“Okay, Jake, this is not helping. Can you just—“ you cut yourself off, your eyes widening in shock as the puzzle finally clicked in place. You swallowed hard, your heart thumping wildly in your chest. As you looked at his expression, your cheeks burned red and your throat went dry. “Just to clarify, are you offering what I think you are?”
“Depends, beautiful.” He said, his tone soft and his eyes trained to your face. “What do you think I’m saying?”
“Are you offering to fuck me?” You wanted to be repulsed by the idea, but you were far from it. If anything, the feeling burning in the pit of your stomach told you the exact opposite, imploring you to fall into his arms and let him do as he pleased with you.
“Well, I’m pretty sure that would get your mind off him.” He argued his point, playful and calm so you knew rejection was more than allowed. “And if you’ll let me, I know I could help with that other part, too.” He let out a small huff of breath, as if he was excited just by the prospect of the opportunity.
“You offer that to every heartbroken girl who sits in this chair?” You asked, ensuring he knew you weren’t denying the offer.
“No,” he shook his head. “You’d be the first, and the only one, I think.”
“You think?” You raised an eyebrow.
“Never know what the future brings.” He shrugged, trying to keep his composure. As soon as he saw your bewildered face, he doubled over in laughter. It took him a few moments to regain his composure, but when he did, he did not seem to retract his statement. When he realized you took his words seriously, he stood from his chair, stepping towards you as he spoke.
“Yes, sweetheart. The only one. Is that what you wanted to hear?” He asked, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear.
“Yes, maybe? I don’t know.” You said, your eyes darting around the kitchen to avoid his heavy stare. “I don’t think I’ve ever been in this situation, so I’m not sure how to react.”
“Only if you want to, of course, but the offer is on the table.” He said, retracting his hand so as not to pressure you into it. You took a drink from your cup, finding your chest burning as you did so. Difference was, you knew it was not because of the liquor. As you sat the cup back on the table, you looked up at him, inspecting him closely.
He was attractive, and that was undeniable. You had been thinking about it since the minute you saw him, and you couldn’t seem to get the thought out of your head. Just half an hour ago, you were shivering from the closeness of his body when you were standing by the liquor cabinet, and now you were quivering just from the thought of his hands on your body. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea, but in the moment, what he was saying made sense to you.
He was hot, you were desperate to forget, and he was offering a quick solution.
“Okay.” You nodded. “Why not?” He watched you for another moment, standing still while you decided for certain that’s what you wanted to do. “Uhm, we won’t tell Josh about this, right?” You asked, a sudden wave of nervousness washing over you.
“Definitely not.” He laughed.
“And it’s just that? Just sex?”
“Just sex, just tonight, if that’s what you want.” He assured you.
“Okay.” You nodded again, more confident this time around. “Just sex, just tonight, with a guy I just met, who happens to be my best friend's twin brother?”
“It sounds better my way.” He said, taking a step towards you.
“Oh yeah? And what’s that?”
“Sex with someone who is happy to make you feel better.” He spoke quietly, kneeling down so he was eye level with you. His face was closer than it had been all night, and if it were even possible, he was even more stunning up close.
“Yeah, that does sound better.” You agreed, smiling slightly as you tried to keep your breathing steady. Jake seemed to prompt more of a physical reaction in you just by looking at you than your ex did in the entire time you’d been with him.
You weren’t sure if it was the whiskey combining with the heartbreak forcing you to make a deadly decision, or if it was just the fact you were attracted to him. Either way, you knew you couldn’t leave his house without a taste of what he was offering, because he had excited you just by mentioning it. You felt like leaving him without knowing what he could do for you would cause more grief than your breakup had in the last few days.
“So what do you say, sweetheart?” He asked, reaching forward and brushing his knuckle over your burning cheek. Your eyes fluttered closed at the touch, but you tried not to let it phase you too much. “You want me to help you forget about him?”
“Think you already have.” You mustered the strength to speak, but not the strength to look him in the eyes. You were sure if you did, you would turn to putty in his hands.
“So you’re saying you don’t need anything else?” He pried, finding the teasing amusing now that he knew you were okay with his actions.
“No, I definitely do.” You corrected him, finally opening your eyes to look over his face. “I really do.”
“Tell me what you need, angel.” He said, flattening his palm against your cheek again. His fingers were tangled in the loose strands of hair hanging over your neck, the action more telling than the last time he touched you. It was firm, more reassuring, and meant to solidify his feelings about the situation.
“You,” you bit the inside of your lip, almost embarrassed about your need for him.
“Don’t be shy, beautiful. Think we’re long past that.” He said, his eyes flickering down to your lips. Although he had full intent to follow through with his earlier promise, he wanted you to be in charge of the matter.
“Kiss me, please.” With that, he leaned forward, pressing his lips to yours as he held your face in his hand.
His lips still tasted like the alcohol he was sipping on, and his skin was still cold from the ice in his cup. Even so, the chill of his skin was quickly offset by the warmth of his tongue as it glided past your lips. The feeling was addicting, much more intense than you thought it might be. Your hands reached out for him, desperate for more. His fingers seemed to be burning into your skin, the touch electric and the sensation ten times more powerful than anything you had ever felt before. The emotion flowing through you from such a simple action was immeasurable, and you already needed more.
“Like that, sweetheart?” He asked, his lips still ghosting over yours as he presented the question. You were breathless, your head spinning and your mind completely free of the painful thoughts that previously seemed permanently attached to you.
“Don’t stop,” you pleaded, your voice quiet. You could feel him smiling, cocky enough to know his plan was already working. “Please, don’t stop.”
“Come with me.” He said, moving away from you and rising back to his feet. Although you were sad he pulled away at all, you knew it was for a better reason. He grabbed the bottle of whiskey and his own cup, waiting for you as you tried to bring yourself back to earth. You took your own from the table, waiting for him to make the next move.
He outstretched his arm, still holding the bottle tightly in his hand as he loosely wrapped the appendage around you. Carefully, he guided you to the hallway. Without any further words shared, he led the way to his bedroom with intent to finish what he started. As soon as you stepped inside, you were surrounded by him. His cologne lingered in the air, and his clothes littered the floor. His bed was messy, but in the most inviting way possible. Patch cords and guitar picks littered the surface of his dresser, and an acoustic guitar took post in the corner of the room.
Although the stipulations of your entanglement did not extend beyond a single night, curiousity got the best of you. With your heart singing a song curated specifically for him, it was hard not to want to know more about him. Seeing his life so intimately made you crave more substance from him, even if it was ridiculous for you to think.
“What’s on your mind now?” He asked, placing the liquor down on his bedside table.
“Nothing bad,” you assured him, still trying to soak in all the room had to offer. “Guess I’m just curious about you now, is all.”
“All you have to do is ask.” He said, taking a few steps towards you. “Later, though, because talking isn’t my top priority right now.” You watched him as he closed in on you, your stomach twisting with excitement at his words. Before he could place his lips on yours again, you swallowed back the last of your drink and placed the empty cup on the top of his dresser, freeing your hands so you only had to focus on him.
You stepped forward, closing the distance between you as your hand landed on his bicep. Now, with the opportune position, he had the luxury to touch you as he pleased with nothing standing in his way. One of his hands fell to your hip, his grip firm as he pulled your body into his own. He leaned down, placing his other hand on the back of your neck as he guided your head towards his. He started slow, fearful he might have come on too strong, but you weren’t willing to take your time with him.
It had been a long time since you had been excited by the prospect of sex, and despite knowing you should not be feeling such a way about anyone, let alone Jake in particular, he had elicited that response from you easier than anyone who came before. Even though his kindness was the most abundant of all his traits, you caught a few glimpses of what lie beneath, and if you were being completely honest, that was what held your attention.
The way his arm felt resting against yours at the liquor cabinet, the sly smile after his ambiguous questions, his heavy stare when he thought you weren’t looking, and the sparkle in his eye when you laughed. That was what drew you in, and everything else was just a cherry on top.
When you first sat with Jake, you almost felt guilty that you were so willing to tell him about your troubles, especially after shutting Josh out. Now, with his lips on yours and his hands exploring your body, it made sense that you felt such a way. Jake was offering much more than Josh could, and he could help in ways that Josh could not begin to imagine. He gave you an easy pass to forgetting, a quick solution to feeling good, and a simple way to move on, even if it were only for a short time. Jake was the perfect fit for what you needed, and you were happy that he was so eager to help.
Time was the only true healer, but Jake was a catalyst to speed the process up, and a very pleasurable one at that.
As the kiss continued, the two of you grew much more comfortable with each other. Your body had relaxed and your hands were more courageous as they travelled over the parts of him you were desperate to know. Your entire body was ablaze with excitement, and your mind was completely free of all the previous fears and feelings you were plagued with. His hand on your hip had drifted to your ass, pulling your hips forward into his as he became familiar with the taste of you on his lips.
If you had any fear about his willingness to sleep with you, it was destroyed within seconds of stepping into his bedroom. You could feel his own excitement, through his actions and other, more obvious signs. As he continued to kiss you, you could feel his erection against your leg, straining against the zipper of his jeans. As much as he wanted to take your mind off of things, you were just as happy to relieve him of the problem you had so easily caused.
When he parted from the kiss, his lips were pink and swollen, glistening with spit under the low light flowing in through his window. His hair was messy from your fingers running through it, and his eyes were darker than they were in the kitchen.
If you thought he was beautiful before, it had nothing on how he looked now.
His hands drifted under the hem of your shirt as he looked over your face, ensuring you were comfortable with continuing. When he was met with pleading eyes and a hopeful expression, his lips quirked up into a smile as he lifted your shirt over your head. As he tossed it to the floor, his gaze traveled downward, allowing himself to admire the parts of you that were usually kept hidden. He sucked in a sharp breath, as if the sight knocked the air from him completely and he was trying to recover from the shock.
“So fucking beautiful, angel.” He hummed, his hands finding you again as he spoke. The feeling of his calloused fingertips against the smooth skin was exhilarating, and even more enticing than anything he’d done before. He dropped his head to the crook of your neck, bringing his lips back to your skin as if he was already missing the feeling of kissing you.
He focused on your neck for a moment, curiously exploring as he tried to find the sweet spots. When his tongue settled below your ear, a whine fell from your lips, so quiet he nearly missed it. The sound reached his ears, sending his skin tingling as it wrapped around his spine and made home there. He kept his attention in the same spot, desperate to hear more. Your hand raised to his arm, holding yourself steady as your stomach swirled with emotion. His mouth continued lower, and courage flooded him as his hands continued to familiarize themselves with you.
He unhooked your bra, brushing the straps from your shoulders as his mouth landed on your collarbone. You felt his teeth graze the skin, the action gentle but purposeful as your bra fell to the ground with your shirt. Now, without anything standing between the two of you, his hand landed on your breast. His thumb drifted over your nipple, moving in a slow circular motion as he felt it harden under his touch. The small sensation only furthered the ache between your legs, and you could feel the wetness begin to soak through the fabric of your underwear.
As he continued his work, you felt your thighs squeeze together in a shameless attempt to ease the discomfort. You didn’t want to rush him, because everything he was doing was phenomenal, but it was growing increasingly difficult to bite your tongue when you so badly needed more from him.
Eventually, his head dropped low enough for his tongue to graze your already sensitive nipple. The warmth of his mouth paired with the precision of his tongue was deadly. You felt a shaky breath rattle your chest as you tried to keep yourself calm, but it was growing increasingly difficult to do so. You needed him more than you needed anything in your entire life; your body craved him in a way you never knew to be possible, and he had promoted more pleasures than anyone before without even needing to take all of your clothes off.
Something about Jake was otherworldly, and his promises to help you forget were not empty. He was doing exactly as he intended, better than you ever thought he could.
He seemed to be enjoying the moment just as much as you were, completely content with pleasing you and never worrying about his own needs. You had never, in your entire life, met someone who was concerned with your needs first.
He pulled his mouth away from you, his eyes fluttering up to your face as he took a few seconds to sort out his thoughts. His eyes were blackened, his pupils completely consuming his irises as he thought about all of the possibilities the night could have.
“Let’s get you out of these,” he muttered, hooking his fingers through the back belt loop on your jeans.
He pulled the fabric away from your skin, letting it snap back to form as he pulled his hand away. The thud of the material against your skin sent another rush of arousal through you, and you found yourself complying to the request without a second thought. He brought one hand to the button, undoing it with ease as he dropped to his knees once again. He pulled down the zipper, tugging on the fabric so they fell down past your hips. As soon as the denim was out of his way, he brought his lips to your stomach, focusing his attention there for a moment before going any further.
You were aching for relief as his tongue drifted over the exposed skin, and you were nearly brought to your knees as he took the time to leave a trail of pink marks where his lips landed. It would be a reminder of the night for days to come, darkening further with time, and you were thrilled at the idea of having a physical memory of his touch when not in his company. He pulled your jeans further down your legs, his lips now ghosting over your hips as he tapped your leg. You lifted one foot from the ground, allowing him to free you from the jeans entirely. You repeated the process with the other leg, and eventually, the jeans were strewn across the floor and gone from your memory completely.
“Jake, I need you.” You huffed, looking down at him, watching carefully where his lips met your skin. He did not respond right away, seemingly wanting to finish what he started before moving on to something new.
Then, his lips pulled away from you, but did not stray too far from their original position. You watched the muscles in his jaw tense as he comprehended the raw emotion behind your words.
“You need me?” He repeated, his voice husky and his eyes heavy as he bargained with the fact.
“Please,” you whispered, breathless as you tried to recover from the constant stimulation he was providing. “So bad, baby.” He drew in a long breath, his eyes fluttering closed as he heard the pet name fall from your lips.
“How could I say no to you when you sound so pretty?” He asked, the question without need of an answer. With that, he used his arm to push you towards the foot of the bed, only stopping when the backs of your knees collided with the mattress.
Then, he rose to his feet, finding himself at eye level with you once again. “What do you want me to do, angel?”
“Anything; just touch me, please.” Your voice was weak, his effect still strong over you even though he wasn’t touching you.
“Anything I want?” He asked, stepping closer and bringing his hand to your side again. He let his fingers trail down until they met the hug of the elastic band of your underwear on your hip. “Are you sure about that?”
“Positive.” You gave a single nod, showcasing your certainty on the matter. He chuckled at your eager nature, looking you over once while he thought of what to do next.
“Lay down for me, sweetheart.” He said, nodding his head towards the bed behind you. “Don’t be shy, get comfortable.” He continued, watching as you turned towards the mattress, unsure if it was possible to climb in and be uncomfortable. The blankets looked soft, and warm, even if they were strewn messily across the surface. The pillows looked like clouds, and there definitely wasn’t a lack of them. More than that, it smelled like him, even from afar. Although you’d only known him for a short time, it had already become a comforting scent for you.
You did as he asked, climbing into the bed and rearranging a few of the pillows. Once you were satisfied, you laid on your back, looking up for him as you awaited further instructions. He gave you a small smile, unable to refute how much he liked the sight of you in his bed, even if it was under strange circumstances.
It was never like Jake to dislike the sight of any girl in his bed, but you seemed to tug on his heart just a little more than others that came before.
“This is a sight I could get used to.” He hummed, adjusting himself in his jeans as he let his eyes trail every bit of exposed skin you had to offer.
“Thought this was a one time thing, Jacob?” He chuckled at your question, unbuttoning the few buttons holding his shirt together. As he slid the fabric from his shoulders, he responded to your inquiries.
“I said if that’s what you want,” he reminded you, dropping the shirt to the floor. Your eyes drifted to his body, drinking in every inch of him. The way the columns of his neck blended perfectly into his collarbones. You studied the structure of his shoulders, focusing intently on his biceps as your eyes trailed down his arms. Then, your gaze moved to his chest, the tan skin decorated with necklaces hanging from his neck. Your admiration ended when your eyes met the buckle of his belt, and you realized he was watching you watch him. “For some reason, I don’t think you’ll be able to stay away.” He sent a wink in your direction to follow his words.
His ego was taking up every spare inch of space in the room, and he was completely different than he was when you were sitting with him in the kitchen. The sweetness still lingered underneath the surface, but his desire had turned him wicked and he was doing everything he could to keep you on his hook. You couldn’t find a single complaint about it, because you loved this version of him even more than the kind hearted man who opened his home and his liquor cabinet to you.
“I think I want another drink,” he started, looking at the bottle decorating his nightstand. His gaze flickered back to you, wanting to ensure you were still watching him. “How about you?” You couldn’t help the sinking feeling in your stomach, wishing that he would just go back to touching you. The banter was fun, and you loved talking to him, but you had needs far more pressing than conversing with him. “Don’t look so disappointed, Angel.” He hummed, grabbing the bottle of whiskey. “I promised to make you feel good, and I’m going to…” he trailed off, popping the cork from the bottle as he kneeled on the bed beside you. “But I have to have my fun, too.”
With that, he brought the spout of the bottle to your navel, carefully letting the trickle of cool liquid fall to your skin. A few droplets trickled down the side of you, landing on the mattress below, but he didn’t care. With great gentleness, he reached out and placed the bottle back on the stand. Without breaking your stare, he settled himself between your legs, his head hovering over your belly as he leaned down a little closer.
With his eyes still settled on your face, he let his tongue glide over your stomach just above your panty line. The skin was already dampened from the spill of liquid from the bottle, cold from the air hitting the wet surface. His tongue warmed the skin, but did much more than just that. The gentleness of his touch cause a plethora of emotions to course through you all at once, and you couldn’t seem to keep your mind straight. The disarray only seemed to worsen as he trailed upwards, drinking up the whiskey like he was a professional on the matter.
When the alcohol was consumed, he did not stop his tyrant. Instead, he continued all the way up until his tongue met your breast once again, circling around your nipple before suctioning his lips to you completely. The warmth and wetness of his mouth was otherworldly, and the new position allowed for his hips to meet yours while he continued teasing you. You shifted down on the mattress, not enough to break his focus, but just enough for your aching core to meet with his cock, strained against his jeans. The contact was minuscule, but enough to elicit a sharp intake of breath from him.
He used his free hand to hold your hips in place, grinding himself down on you ever so slight to give you a bit of relief. The friction was good, even if it wasn’t enough. Paired with the feeling of his tongue on your sensitive nipple, it was enough to pry a moan from your lips.
“Jake, please touch me. Need it so bad.” You whined, feeling your hips raise from the mattress despite his hand holding you down. He pulled his mouth away from you, a small popping sound ringing through the air as he lost the suction of his cheeks.
“You want me to touch you, beautiful?” He asked, shimmying to the side so he could do as you asked. He brought one hand between your legs, resting beside you on his knees as he held himself up with his other arm. His fingers ghosted over the thin fabric covering your aching core, noticing the wetness before he even pushed the fabric to the side. “Fuck,” he hissed, looking down at his hand. “All of this for me, angel?”
“Just for you, baby.” You whimpered, feeling his finger drift over your covered clit. Although you wished that the barrier did not exist, you would settle for what you could get.
“And what’s got you so worked up? It can’t be me, I’m just getting started.” He teased, pushing the fabric to the side. Before he continued, he waited for you to respond.
“It’s you, Jake.” You assured him, almost sheepish of the fact. He was right, he was just getting started, and you were far too worked up for just a few minutes of foreplay. You couldn’t help it, though; between his sinful touches and your own lack of sexual pleasure over the previous few years, you were ready to come undone before he even touched you.
“Don’t tell me he was that bad of a guy.” Jake let out a murmur of discontent at the thought. “Couldn’t think about anything other than himself, even with a girl as pretty as you in his bed?” Your cheeks burned red at his words, embarrassed at the thought of him being correct. “You know I won’t do that to you, angel.” He promised, finally letting his fingers get a feel for the wetness pooling between your legs. “From here on out, it’s all about you. I’ll take care of you, sweetheart. Does that sound good to you?”
“Yeah,” you breathed, nodding in agreement with his idea. To you, it sounded more than good. It sounded fantastic.
With that, he gathered your arousal on his fingers, slowly trailing it up to your clit. He traced slow circles into the already sensitive bundle of nerves, watching your face so he did not miss a single second of your reaction. Your gaze flickered to his face, taking in all of the details while he did the same for you. His brow was furrowed with concentration, and his lips were still slightly swollen from earlier. The muscles in his jaw were tense, and his eyes told you just how happy he was to be pleasing you.
“You know, I was hoping to get you in my bed, even before you sat in that chair.” He confessed, his voice quiet as a sheepish smile crossed his face.
“Y-yeah?” You asked, the word breathy as you felt the pull of pleasure begin to build in the pit of your stomach. You were intrigued by his statement, so much so that it took your mind away from the burning desire for a moment.
“Yeah,” he affirmed, smirking at your obvious curiosity. “Been thinking about it since the first time I saw you at Josh’s house.” He continued, carefully letting himself move closer. He propped himself up on his forearm, moving his body down towards yours. “You walked out, all dolled up in a pretty little dress. Blue, if I remember right. I wasn’t really looking at the dress.”
He was right, and you could remember the scene just as well as him. It was the only blue dress you owned, and you were on your way to lunch with a potential client, which was why you were so eager to get out the door. He was carrying his guitar, in a cutoff t-shirt and jeans that hugged his legs just right. You were both younger, a little more naive and much more childish. You could remember being stunned by his long brown hair, tousled by the wind, and the sunglasses that sat low on the bridge of his nose. He was beautiful then, just the same as he was now, but you were too afraid to introduce yourself. You managed a small greeting as you passed by him, and spent the whole drive to the restaurant with the picture of him stuck in your head.
“Been waiting that long, Jacob?” You asked, finding a bit of strength to tease him back.
“I wouldn’t say waiting,” he chuckled. “But definitely thinking about it. Prettiest girl to ever walk out of his house, and the prettiest girl to ever step foot in mine.” He continued with the flattery, sliding his middle and index finger to your entrance. Before he continued, he slipped his fingers inside of you. As he began to pump his fingers, he let his thumb drift over your clit. The combination of the two sensations was overwhelming in the best possible way. “If I had it my way, I would have fucked you right there on his porch.” The vulgarity of his words may have been off putting in any other context, but as he said it, your walls fluttered around his fingers and another intense wave of arousal washed over you. “And you would have let me, wouldn’t you?”
You were nearly delirious from the pleasure steadily growing in the pit of your stomach. Your skin was ablaze, the sensation growing stronger with every word he spoke and every touch he gave you. You were willing to tell him anything and everything he wanted to hear as long as it meant he wouldn’t stop.
“God, yes. I would have.” You whined, moving your hips down on his hand as his fingers curled upwards, hitting the sweet spot inside of you.
You weren’t lying, either; had you known at that time he could make you feel so good, you would have let him do whatever he wanted to you. At the sound of your tone filled with need for him, he made it a point to curl his fingers upwards again as he pumped them into you. As his fingertips brushed over the sensitive spot he’d found with ease, a moan filled the air, loud and desperate for him to keep going. “Oh, fuck me.” You groaned, gripping at the sheets below you.
“I intend to, sweetheart.” He replied. Although he knew you did not direct the message to him, he felt the need to interject his own thoughts anyway. As the words left his mouth, he leaned down, pressing his lips to yours. He couldn’t help himself; he was compelled to kiss you, feeling that he might not be able to survive without the taste of you on his tongue.
His fingers continued to move with intent, eager to pry an orgasm from you. The knot in your belly was tightening further by the second, your skin tingling with pleasure as another moan tore through your chest. He drank in the sound like a man dying of thirst, feeling lucky to be the one experiencing such intimacy with you, even if it was under strange circumstances.
He broke from the kiss as he felt your walls clench around him again, knowing that you were closer to a climax than you would ever admit. He increased the pressure of his thumb, watching you carefully so he did not miss the moment he’d been patiently waiting for.
“That’s it, gorgeous.” He crooned, drunk of the pleasure twisted amongst your features. The praise washed over you like summer rain, settling deep in your stomach and furthering the intensity of the feeling. Your brow was furrowed, your eyes squeezed shut and your lips parted ever so slightly, allowing the most beautiful sounds to cross them. “You’re so fucking hot.” He muttered, propping himself up a bit further for a better view. As much as he wanted to focus on your face, he felt his eyes trail down to his hand, unable to resist the only other sight that could compare to your pretty face.
He sucked his bottom teeth between his lips, biting down on it as he watched his fingers disappear into your cunt.
Your eyes cracked open, desperate to catch a glimpse of him before you descended into the organ that was quickly approaching. When you caught sight of his face, you noticed his eyes were not looking at you like they had been moments before. When you followed his gaze, seeing what he was so fixated on, you felt a whole different type of emotion wash over you. He did not notice your stare, too caught up in the sight to even care about anything else. You were enthralled in him, watching him admire you like you were the most precious thing he’d ever seen.
You bit down on your lip, feeling the warmth in your stomach begin to spread to the rest of your body. You were so close, so ready to give in to the temptation of the feeling, but you weren’t ready for the moment to come to an end.
Within a second, that train of thought was completely disregarded, unimportant and needless.
A low groan, resembling more like a growl sounded through the room, coming from deep in his chest. His eyes turned dark, almost animalistic as he was taken by his desire for you. It was a simple thing, so unimportant in comparison to everything else he was doing to you, but it was everything to you. To know you could drive such a beautiful man to such desperate feelings made you weak, and knowing he was just as taken by you as you were with him sent you over the edge.
The orgasm that took hold was stronger than any you had ever had before. Your entire body was immersed in euphoria, from the very tips of your toes to the muscles in your face. Not one part of you was spared from his wicked power, and as your legs trembled, you came to terms with the fact he was right; heartbroken or not, you were hooked on him. Walking away would be ridiculous, and coming back for more was a given. You could not comprehend the idea of never feeling such a way again, and that made it all the harder to equate your solution for heartbreak to a single night.
“That’s it, angel. Doing so good for me.” His words seemed far away, but the sentiment behind them stuck with you indefinitely. He continued pumping his fingers into you, coaxing you through the climax with his hand and his words. You had never felt more important, more cared about than you did with him, like your enjoyment was the only thing in the world that mattered.
He pulled his fingers out of you, his gaze flickering to your face as he raised his hand to his mouth. You watched as he slipped his middle finger past his lips, glistening with your release as it landed on his tongue and his mouth closed around it. As the taste filled his senses, his eyes fluttered closed and a low groan rattled his chest. Your face flushed, your stomach pulling with another bout of pleasure as you watched the scene unfold in front of you. He pulled his finger from his mouth, a slight popping sound filling your ears as the digit slid off his lips. Your eyes squeezed shut, the sight nearly pornographic, and hotter than anything you had ever witnessed before.
“Taste so fucking sweet, baby. Just like I thought you would.” His words were soft, gentle as they filled the air around you. You couldn’t look at him, fearful that if you caught his eye, you would descend into another orgasm without him even touching you at all.
Your knuckles ached as you released your iron grip on the sheets, your body relaxing against the mattress as you came down from the high. Your lungs ached for a full breath of air, and your skin was still tingling with the ghost of pleasure. You looked down at Jake, expecting him to be watching you, waiting for your next move, but he was doing none of those things. He was tossing his belt to the floor, sliding out of his jeans and boxers at once and tossing them in the growing pile of clothes on the floor. You noticed his frantic nature, taking a second to discard your underwear and toss them to the floor as well. He didn’t say a word, making a move to shift downwards on the mattress. He settled between your legs, his hands on your hips as he pulled you down towards his face.
He guided your legs over his shoulders, settling his palms on the tops of your thighs as his lips dusted light kisses over the inside of them. As you both grew more comfortable with the new position, you felt his confidence grow, too. His teeth grazed over the sensitive skin, his tongue following the path to sooth any irritation that might occur. Goosebumps littered your entire body, and every nerve was aflame with desire for the boy who made home between your legs. You watched him, a wondrous sparkle in your eye as you inspected his every move.
Was it normal for someone to be this attentive, to be so concerned with making you feel good? Had you been missing out on such a fantastic experience, wasting your time with someone who was only concerned with himself? Or was Jake just so phenomenal that he made everything a million times more fun?
You did not know, and you did not care; the only important thing to you was him, and he was doing well in making you forget about all of your other worldly troubles. The only thoughts in your mind were pertaining to him and his ability to please you. He was like poison, infiltrating every thought and every emotion, completely taking over without you even thinking twice about it.
His eyes flickered upwards, meeting yours in a silent inquiry. The trail of love bites on your thigh was darkening by the second, and his gaze was burning into you.
“Talk to me, sweetheart.” He ordered, but it was hard to comply to his wishes when it felt like his fingers were searing into your skin.
“I-I just… sex has never been like this before.” You breathed, wondering how he knew something was wrong despite you not saying a word. He was effortlessly in tune with you, feeling every emotion coursing through you as if it were his own. “It’s never been so good, and I’ve never been so… taken care of.” You squeaked out the last few words, embarrassed to admit it to him.
“Oh, don’t tell me that, angel.” He muttered, almost pained at the thought. “If I had known he wasn’t taking care of you, I would have done it myself, a long time ago.” The sincerity in his tone made your head spin, and you were almost regretful that you had been so caught up on a man who wasn’t worth your time, when you could have been spending your time indulging in someone like Jake. “You mean to tell me he wasn’t doing this?” He asked, obviously referring to the act he was about to commit. Your cheeks burned red as you shook your head, silently answering him. “What a fucking idiot.” He muttered, clearly to himself.
Instead of continuing the conversation, he pulled your hips down a little further, letting his actions speak louder than his words. He lowered his head, and you held your breath as his mouth connected with your core. His tongue slowly ran through your folds, starting at your entrance and ending at your clit. He let his focus remain there for a moment, circling around the sensitive bundle of nerves as your hands snaked down your body, tangling themselves in the long locks of his hair. Your felt his tongue dip down to your entrance again, flattening against you as he repeated the same process from earlier, savouring every drop of arousal you had to offer him.
As his tongue reached your clit again, he let out a long hum of satisfaction, like the moment had curbed every craving he had for you in an instant. He pulled away from you for a moment, looking up as he listened closely to your shallow breathing. “I could stay between your legs for the rest of my life, and I’d be fucking happy to do it.” He said, his tone gruff as some residual anger remained in his mind. “Now that I’ve had a taste, I don’t think you’ll be able to get rid of me.”
A whimper fell from your lips, completely uncontrollable as you tried to sear the memory of him between your legs into your brain for eternity. He returned his mouth to you, using the sound as encouragement while he continued on with his work.
Jake was a force you were not familiar with, yet you feared you may never fully grasp his power. You met him at the perfect time, and he offered his services when you needed them most. It was supposed to be a quick fix, a simple solution to stop the pain from tearing you in two, but it quickly grew into something much more than that. Now that you had a chance to experience pleasure at his hands, you weren’t ready to give it up.
Calling Jake a rebound would be ridiculous, because he was the furthest thing from it; in just an hour, he gave more to you than your ex did in years.
Like you said earlier, you were mourning the situation more than you were mourning the person or the relationship itself. The picture of betrayal had been seared in your mind, the self-doubt and self-hatred was abundant, and maybe there was a hint of sadness over the loss of routine, but most of your ailments were not caused by the man himself. With Jake’s help, that became incredibly apparent, and the rest of the sadness and anger seemed to fade away the longer his hands were on you.
“A-ah, fuck.” You hissed, your fingers tightening in his hair as an intense wave of pleasure took hold. “Feels so good, Jake.” Instead of pulling away to respond, he hummed against you, the vibration of the sound furthering the sensation he was already giving you. He wanted to hear how good you were feeling, how good he was making you feel. His ego hadn’t gone away, and your compliments only fed it further. You would be uncomfortable with his cockiness if it were not warranted, but from everything he’d done so far, you understood that he was the only man you had been with who had a right to be so self-assured.
His hands inched up your legs, his grip loosening as he moved his fingers. The light tickle sent a shiver down your spine, and your head was spinning as his grasp slowly settled on your hips. His tongue continued to circle around your clit as he pulled you a little further down on his face. A moan filled the air, much more desperate than the last and the vulgarity immediately categorizing it as pornography. You weren’t sure if such a sound ever left your lips before, but you did not have time to focus on the fact before another one followed up the last.
Your cheeks were burning to the touch, your skin blotchy with redness and glistening with sweat. Your hands were anchored in the roots of his hair, and his tongue was driving you so crazy that you couldn’t help the automatic roll of your hips against his tongue. You were bordering the edge once again, and he seemed to have no intent to slow. One of his hands remained on your hip as the other began to explore, dusting over your stomach with great gentleness. It was a staggering difference between the hand on your hip, which was holding you tightly, as if he was scared he would lose you if he let go.
You were lost in the movements of his tongue, no other thoughts existing within your mind as he continued with his precise actions. The warmth of his mouth was heavenly, the wetness of his tongue making every move all the more remarkable. His hand raised to your chest, finally finding what he had been blindly searching for as his palm cupped your breast. You squeezed your eyes shut, letting your head fall back onto the pillow as you tried to keep your breathing steady. Then, his fingers found your nipple, brushing over it and sending jolts of pleasure through you. The sensation combined with the feeling of his tongue was indescribable, addicting, and intoxicating. You felt drunk off of him alone, and you never wanted to sober up.
Just when you thought you were accustom to the multiple sensations all at once, he moved his hand, taking your nipple between his thumb and his forefinger and giving one hard pinch. You let out a gasp, your hips bucking forward into his mouth even further. You could see the shake of his shoulders, showcasing his silent laughter at your reaction.
Even if you wanted to be upset at him, you had no idea how to be. Being angry with Jake seemed like an oxymoron, two things that could not coexist together. If anything, all you wanted to do was praise him for all he had done to help you.
He retracted his hand from your chest, snaking it back down your body. He brought it underneath your leg, bringing his middle and ring finger to your entrance. He pushed them inside of you, with the same curl to his fingers as earlier. The added stimulation was heavenly, and a sure apology for his earlier action. He barely had to pump his fingers at all before your back was arching off the mattress, desperate and shameless for more.
“Jake, baby.” You warned, the words coming out hastily and jumbled together. “M’gonna cum.” You forced the rest of the sentence out, the fire in your belly blazing and threatening to take hold.
He hummed against you again, encouraging you to give in and let go. With one last curl of his fingers paired with the flick of his tongue, your second orgasm took over. Your legs trembled with the intensity of the feeling, your hands holding his hair as if you were afraid of floating away if you let go. The air was filled with obscenities, curses and praise for his work as you descended into the pleasure. If his mouth wasn’t occupied, you knew the praises and encouragement would be the most beautiful thing you had ever heard. He coaxed you through the moment, and your heart rate began to slow and your muscles started to relax from the tension.
Difference was, this time he didn’t slow.
His tongue continued to trace your clit with more intent than before, as if he wanted to see how far he could take it before you gave in. At first, the feeling was uncomfortable, but the idea of stopping was more troublesome than the sting of overstimulation. Instinctively, your body tried to pull away from him, but he used his hand on your hip to hold you in place. Your hands remained in his hair, but did not try and pull his head away from you. You wanted him, and the orgasm he had just given you was inexplicably addictive. You wanted to feel that way again so bad that you could spare the few moments of discomfort in exchange for something so fantastic.
The noises falling from your lips had upped in intensity, and definitely felt more dramatic. You were loud enough that you feared the neighbours might hear you had they stepped outside. He was living in the moment, driven near insane from the desperation in your voice. You looked down, and despite your blurred vision, did the best you could to admire him while you had him like such. His hair was a mess, still knotted around your fingers. The muscles in his back were tight, flexing with every move of his arms. His knuckles were locked in place around your hip, decorating it so nicely that you dreaded the moment he had to let go.
Although beautiful, those were not the things that held your attention. Instead, you were drawn in by the sight of his hips grinding into the mattress below. Pleasing you had worked him up so badly that he himself was aching for relief, unable to control how badly he needed to be touched. The thought was maddening, and the sight drove you over the edge.
Before the overstimulation even began to wear off, your body was forced into another climax that put the previous ones to shame. Your throat was raw from crying his name, your entire body aching from the violence of the feeling. For a moment, you thought you might die at the hands of his sin, but not even that thought could force you away from him. Your lungs burned and your head swam with thoughts of nothing and everything, all at once.
You had never felt such a way in your entire existence, and even when your body began to recover from the effects of his tongue, your mind had fallen far behind. You were barely holding on to reality as he finally withdrew his fingers from you, and your head was completely elsewhere when his head moved away, too.
“Could listen to you scream my name like that every fucking night.” He growled, pressing his wet lips to your thighs so he did not have to give up contact with you entirely. “God you’re a fucking masterpiece. Can’t believe it took so long for me to have you like this.”
He didn’t give you a chance to respond, instead wiping away your release from his chin and moving upwards so he could kiss you. As his hips landed on yours, you felt his cock press against your soaking core, the warmth of bare skin against skin nearly driving you into another orgasm. You were floored at his ability to make you feel good, and amazed that nobody else could make you feel such things. As his tongue glided across yours, you could taste yourself on him, only making the moment even more remarkable. It made him even more addicting, and you were certain you could get used to having him in such a way.
“Just a second, sweetheart.” He slurred, drunk off of you. He pulled away from you, sliding out from between your legs and climbing out of bed. You watched him, breathless and stunned at the picture of him completely naked in front of you. It was the first moment thus far that you had the chance to admire him fully, and you never wanted to stop.
He was painfully hard, the tip of his dick red with irritation from the rough threads of the sheets and glistening with wetness from where he was resting against you. The sight sent you mad, your mouth watering and your need for him growing tenfold. He turned to his bedside table, rummaging around in the drawer in search of a condom. When his fingers landed on the box, stuffed way in the back and hidden under a pile of junk. He looked over at you, smiling shyly as he pulled one from the box.
“Don’t really need these all that often.” He chuckled, an inadvertent way of telling you he was being truthful when he said you were the only one he offered his services to.
“Wait,” you uttered, watching as he raised the package to his mouth to tear it with his teeth. He froze in place, worried that you might have changed your mind.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” He asked, ready to discard the foil square in his hand and dress himself if you were uncomfortable. “Do you want to stop, or slow down?”
“No!” You shook your head, feeling bad that the thought even crossed his mind. Instead of letting his anxiety get the best of him, you sat up from your laying position. Carefully, ensuring you had your balance, you shifted so you were resting on your knees, facing him. You looked up, giving a small smile as you beckoned him closer. His eyebrows knitted together in confusion, but he stepped towards you anyway.
Only when you reached out for him did he understand your intentions. He sucked in a sharp breath, watching as you grabbed his hand and guided him closer to the edge of the bed.
“Tonight is supposed to be about you, angel.” He muttered, a weak protest against your actions.
“I want to, Jake.” You assured him, unable to refute your desire to please him, too. “Please?” You looked up at him, doe-eyed with faux innocence written over your features.
“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, unable to resist the temptation. “I had no idea you were such a whore.” Even if his words were venomous, his tone did not match. He had such a way with words that even his insults sounded like praise. “Go ahead then, if you want it so fuckin’ bad.”
You debated thanking him for his kindness, but you opted to do it with your actions, instead. You leaned toward, bringing your mouth to him. You parted your lips slightly, letting your tongue glide over the head of his cock. The saltiness of the pre-cum staining his skin lingered on your lips as you took him in your mouth. You bobbed your head down slowly, allowing spit to accumulate on your tongue as you let it glide over the underside of his cock.
As you moved your head down on him, your eyes fluttered closed in concentration. His size was something you weren’t used to, but you had enough confidence to follow through with your efforts. When you felt his tip hit the back of your throat, your eyes watered as you fought back a gag. Desperate to impress, you relaxed your throat as you took him all the way. You felt him twitch in your mouth, letting you know that he was enjoying the moment just as much as you hoped. A string of curses fell from his lips, followed by a long groan. The sound only worsened the persistent ache between your legs, but you carried on, knowing that he would take care of that once you took care of him.
He raised his hand to your hair, gathering it in his hand and holding it away from your face. His eyes were permanently fixated on you, terrified of missing even a second of the view in front of him. You sat there for a moment, allowing yourself to grow comfortable with the feeling before forcing yourself to swallow, despite the momentary discomfort. As your throat constricted around him, he took in a sharp breath, overwhelmed by the sensation. Another groan tried to force it’s way from his chest, but he tried to hold it back, resulting in the sound coming out more similar to a whine.
Even if it was unintentional, it drove you fucking crazy.
You pulled back in one swift motion, inhaling a breath of air as his cock fell from your lips. Trails of spit covered your chin, but it did not phase you. Before he could recover from the loss, your mouth was on him again.
“Ah, fuck, sweetheart.” He growled, his grip in your hair tightening. “Full of fucking surprises tonight.” Your eyes flickered upwards, catching his stare as you bobbed your head down on him. You longed to sear the picture in your mind forever. His hair was disheveled, his jaw-hard set and his eyes crazed as he studied your every move. He was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen, and you were certain of that. You felt lucky to be able to please him in any way, and grateful to have caught his eye all those years ago.
As you drew your head upward, you let his cock leave your mouth completely, deciding to give him a show. You circled your tongue around his tip, pursing your lips as you placed them on the side of his dick. You pushed your tongue flat against him, suctioning your cheeks just a bit to add some pressure. As you moved your mouth down his cock, you made sure to keep eye contact with him the whole time. When you reached the base, you slowly ran your tongue over him as you brought your head back to the tip. Without breaking the momentum, you took him back in your mouth and bobbed your head back down until his tip hit the back of your throat again.
You started a steady pace, listening intently to every sound that passed his lips. It wear encouraging, and it was hot. If you had to say, it was the most attractive thing you had ever heard. As you felt him slide down your throat again, you let out a moan. The vibration amplified the already intense feeling, causing his head to fall back on his shoulders as he hissed out a long string of curses. You could feel him throbbing in your mouth, desperate for a release but unwilling to give in to it just yet.
In truth, you would not have minded. He had been beyond generous already, and to do him a kindness was the only way you thought fitting to repay him. Even if you would miss out on fucking him, you were happy to be used by him in any way.
As you continued at the same pace, you could feel him begin to lose himself to the pleasure. As your head came down on him, his hips involuntarily moved too meet with you. The constant pressure in the back of your throat was making it difficult to keep calm, but you persevered until he pulled away first. A particularly sharp thrust of his hips sent you over the edge, and the gag you tried so hard to stop finally forced its way out. Your throat constricted around him again and your eyes welled with tears. Hastily, he pulled away from you, his chest heaving as his concerned eyes looked over your face.
“M’sorry, angel. You okay?” He asked, crouching down so he was eye level with you.
“Yeah, I’m good, it’s okay.” You promised, nodding you head. He raised his hand to your cheek, swiping away tears that had fallen from your eyes.
“We can take a break if you need it,” he assured you, holding your gaze. “Don’t be afraid to tell me if I’m going too fast or if it���s too much.”
“I’m okay, I promise.” You gave him a soft smile, well recovered from the moment of slight tension. He watched you for a moment longer, wanting to be certain. When he realized you weren’t going to change your mind, he leaned forward and pulled you into a kiss. The softness of the action was all you needed to feel better again. “Can you fuck me? Please?” You muttered the words against his lips, unable to wait until he was finished to ask the question.
“You want me to fuck you, sweetheart?” He asked, intrigued by your excitement.
“Yes, please.” You breathed, needing it like you needed air. The desire you had for him was nearly debilitating, and since he’d stopped touching you, there was no relief for the grating need.
“Turn around for me, Angel.” He said, rising to his feet. He was in no position to deny you anything, because he wanted it just as bad.
You did as he asked, noticing he was reaching for the foil wrapper on the nightstand again. You couldn’t comprehend the grief that washed over you as you saw it, and the words rushed out faster than you could stop them.
“I’m on the pill,” you said, hearing him freeze in place. “I’m clean, too.” You were telling the truth, because before him, unprotected sex wasn’t even a thought in your mind. Whatever he had done to you that night seemed to permanently alter your mind, and the simple thought of not having him completely was sickening.
“Me too.” He hummed, almost relieved that you told him. He tossed the condom back on the table, the dull clatter of the impact prompted a smile on your face.
You backed up closer to him, your knees resting near the edge of the mattress and your feet dangling off the edge. He stepped towards you, his hands reaching for your hips as he positioned himself between your legs. His touch drifted over your ass, appreciating you while he had you in such a way.
“You have no fucking idea how good you look like this.” He praised your beauty, his voice deep and laced with desire. One of his hand fell from your hip, and seconds later, you felt his cock rest against your cunt. Slowly, he ran the tip through the wetness that was worsening by the second. “You want it, sweetheart?” The husky tone settled deep in your bones as you dropped to your forearms, bringing your top half lower to the mattress. You pushed your hips back towards him, adding a little more pressure to your clit, which he was resting against.
“So bad, Jake.” You pleaded, looking back over your shoulder at him.
“What was that, Angel?” He asked, sliding himself back down to your entrance. “Couldn’t quite hear you.” There was a smirk on his lips, cute enough to help him get away with the teasing, but irritating enough to bother you.
“Please, baby.” You whined, trying again.
“Please what?” He pressed further, pushing his hips forward ever so slightly. The miniscule change was agonizing, but it still made your head spin. “I want to hear how bad you want me, beautiful.”
“Please fuck me, Jake.” You finished your broken sentence, your tone stronger than it had been all night. “I need to feel you, please.” With that, you pushed your hips back again, testing your limits.
Unlucky for you, at the same time, he thrusted forward with force, causing the impact to be so much more intense.
“A-ah, fuck!” You yelped, the size of him something brand new to you. The way he filled you was enough to bring you to your knees, but the painful sensation of his cock hitting your cervix amplified the pleasure even further.
“There you go, baby.” He crooned, completely disregarding your response as he drew his hips back and slammed back into you with the same energy. “How does that feel?” The slight sneer in his tone was aggravating, but you had to admit that it looked really good on him. The sudden change in attitude made you realize that what had come before that moment was not typical for Jake. He was snarky, arrogant, and he liked to be in charge. You could tell by his fingers bruising your hips and his tone talking down to you.
Although you thoroughly enjoyed the time you already spent with Jake, it almost made you sad when you realized what exactly you missed out on.
As you were stuck on the thought, you felt a sharp sting across your ass. The sensation on your skin combined with the pleasure of him inside of you, making you quiver under the touch. “Answer me when I fucking speak.” He barked, letting his fingers gently caressed the reddening skin where his hand made contact. You weren’t sure if it was purposeful or absentminded, but the sweet touch after the harsh words felt good, reassuring that he was only putting on an act.
Then, you decided if he wanted to push you, you could do the same to him. The worst that could happen was a punishment, and the idea of punishment at Jake’s hands was nothing but thrilling.
“Feels so good, sir.” You exaggerated your tone in hopes of getting under his skin, but the term of endearment seemed to short circuit his brain. His hips stuttered and his hands tightened their grip.
“Such a fucking whore,” he spat, his words quiet as he regained his composure. Even if his words were harsh, you could tell by his voice alone how much he enjoyed your attitude. “I love it.” He muttered the words to himself, but you heard it despite his efforts to keep it to himself. He felt your walls flutter around him, drawing him in further and deeper, encouraging his antics even further.
One of his hands raised to your hair, gathering it in his fist and knotting it around his hand. He tightened his hold, pulling your head back ever so slightly as his hips continued at the same, bruising pace. You arched your back even further, your chest nearly brushing against the mattress now as your ass raised to meet his hips.
“That’s my girl,” he hummed, holding your hips as he upped the strength in which he was thrusting into you. “Take it so fucking good.”
The knot in your belly was tightening further by the second, threatening to snap with every move. You were crying his name, praising him for his hard work as he pushed you closer to a climax. You were sure his bedroom would never recover from the pornographic display the two of you found yourselves in, and the thought served as a comfort. You wanted him to think about you every time his bedroom door closed, remembering how you looked in his bed as he fucked you from behind. You wanted him to picture the way your ass met his hips every time he closed his eyes, and you never wanted him to forget the feeling of you wrapped around him.
Although he intended to solve your problems, you wanted to create a new, constant one for him; one that plagued him every night and haunting him during the day. You wanted Jake to succumb to the need of you, and you wanted your number to be a constant call in his phone, begging you to come over so he could curb the urge for a little while. You wanted to infiltrate every thought that crossed his mind, because you could not stand the idea of him giving this to anyone else.
“You want to cum already?” He asked, recognizing the tremble of your legs and the desperation of your high-pitched moans. “So fucking needy you can’t even enjoy it for a while?” He chastised you, but both of you knew there was zero malice behind his behavior. He was living for the way you moved against him, surviving off the sound of your pleasure. He was thrilled to drive you to such a state so easily, and he would give you whatever you wanted, so long as you asked nicely.
“Please, sir. I want it so bad. I need it.” You stressed the importance of the topic, feeling the burn begin to overtake your entire body. The urge was impossible to stave off, and you knew there was no use in trying. After all he’d done to you so far, you were long past self-control.
“Fine, but you better not hold back. I want to hear every one of those filthy fucking noises.” He growled, pulling your head back with a little bit of force. “Put on a good show, sweetheart, or I might not be so nice next time.” He warned, holding your head in place with one hand and your hip with his other. He pulled you back on him, making the impact even more powerful. The painful pleasure pulsed through your entire body, so intense that you could feel it behind your eyes. With every thrust of his hips, you grew closer to the release you so desperately needed.
In exchange for him giving you what you needed, you gave him exactly what he asked for.
“Oh, god, Jake.” You whined, upping the dramatics for the sake of his request. “You feel so good, baby. Please don’t stop.” You pleaded, feeling your head spin with the threat of your climax. You could hear his shaky breaths, the sound of your words hitting him harder than he anticipated. His hips remained steady, though, never faltering as he continued on exactly as you asked him to.
“Come on, angel.” He huffed, looking down at the curve of your ass, watching himself as he fucked into you. The permissive statement sent you spiralling, pushing you over the edge with little thought.
“Fuck, Jake.” You groaned, feeling your stomach burn with pleasure. Your hands were balled into fists, knuckles white as you gripped the sheets. Your arms and legs felt like they would give out from under you as they trembled. Jake seemed to notice the same thing, and the hand holding your hip slipped under you, holding you up so you did not have to worry about anything other than feeling good.
“That’s it, baby. That’s my girl.” He crooned, never letting up on his pace as he continued to fuck you through the climax. Even as you came down, your body did not relax. Your skin was ablaze and your forehead was glistening with sweat. You were tired, and the feeling of him inside of you became less pleasant and more intense as he continued to thrust into you. Your noises became less angelic and more desperate, as if they served as a warning for him to slow down. Overstimulation was threatening your exhausted mind, driving you closer to insanity by the second as the burn of irritation began to spread.
“Jake,” You wheezed his name out, trying to bargain with him as he increased the speed of his hips. “Jake, please.” You pleaded, now for an entirely different reason.
“What, you wanted it so bad and now you can’t take it?” He growled, his hips still moving at a relentless pace. “You can take it sweetheart, I know you can. Be good for me, baby. Just a little longer.”
“I don’t know if I can.” You cried, your throat raw from the desperation of your moans. Both of you knew he would stop if you really needed it, but he would be damned if he gave up before you truly needed him to.
“You can, beautiful. Being so good for me.” He rushed out, clearly growing close to his own climax. “Don’t you love being a good girl for me?” He asked, easing up on you ever so slightly.
“I do,” you whimpered, feeling his hand in your hair push your head towards the mattress. The strength of his thrusts had lessened, and the overwhelming sensation started to become pleasurable again. “I love it.”
“I know you do, sweetheart.” He whispered, desperation beginning to set in for him, too. He loosened his hold around your hips, knowing you were much steadier, now. He moved his hand between your legs, his middle finger finding your clit with ease. “Just a little while longer, baby. I’m not done with you yet.”
“Oh, fuck.” You groaned, his words giving you the strength to keep going. You clenched around him, amplifying the sensation for both of you as his finger continued to trace around your clit.
“So fucking tight.” He praised, saying it mostly to himself. “Give me one more angel. I know you have it in you.” He was right, the orgasm was already building at a rapid pace. You could feel the tingle of euphoria in the tips of your fingers and toes. You were too strung out on him to answer, but he knew that you would give him what he wanted.
Nobody in their right mind would ever deny Jake anything he asked for, anyway.
“Jake, fuck, m’gonna cum.” You rushed out, the urgency something you had never experienced before in your life. He let out a low chuckle at your state despite feeling the same desperation.
“That’s my girl.” He said again, the statement still hitting as hard as it did the first time he said it. With one last thrust of his hips, you came undone, all of the pleasure from the night coming to one final climax.
Your mind was blank, no thoughts or worries left to bother you. You wanted to scream his name, but nothing was coming out. Your chest ached and your lungs were in dire need of air, but you could not even seem to do something as simple as breathing. Jakes hand pushed your head further into the mattress, your cheek pressed against the soft fabric of the sheets as he started to lose his composure, too. His movements were sloppy, his hips stuttering every time he fucked into you. The finger that was once tracing perfect circles on your clit seemed to forget how to do so, and he had his turn to utter profanities that only solidified the moment in your minds forever.
His grip on your hair loosened as he reached his peak, spilling his release inside you as his hips began to slow. He used his arm to pull you back on him one last time, holding you there while he recovered from the intensity of the moment. He let out a long breath, looking down once more where his hips rested against yours. He drew back, slowly thrusting forward a few more times as he fucked his release back into you. A low growl sounded from his chest, the sight alone nearly working him up all over again.
“You okay, sweetheart?” He asked, his loving and catering tone returning as he withdrew from you completely.
“Yeah, m’okay.” You nodded, feeling the pressure in your skull lessen as he loosened his hold on your hair. “Fantastic, actually.”
“Yeah?” He grinned, excited at the idea. “You feel better?”
“Jake, you have no idea.” You breathed, slowly moving from your position. You were sore, tired, but you felt better than you ever had. “I don’t think I’ve ever… no, I’ve never had sex like that.” You confessed, rolling on to your back to let your body rest for a moment.
“I’m glad I could help, beautiful.” He said, laying down beside you. “Don’t worry about the mess, I’ll clean it up later.” He said, pulling you into his arms. You rested your head on his chest, his skin warm and soothing as the sound of his heartbeat thudded in your ears.
“I should probably call a cab, get back to Josh’s place before the bar rush starts.” You sighed, saddened by the thought alone. You wished to stay wrapped up in Jake’s arms for the rest of the night, even if you knew you shouldn’t. You were going through a breakup, and dating was not on the table (or shouldn’t be, at least), but there was something special about Jake, something so different that it made it impossible to want to walk away from him.
“Are you crazy?” He scoffed, his tone light as he looked down at you.
“What?” You raised an eyebrow, tilting your head up as you awaited an answer.
“Like I’d ever make you take a cab.” He rolled his eyes. “But, you’re not going back to Josh’s place, sweetheart.”
“What if I want to?” You shot back.
“Do you?” He asked, seemingly staring into your soul. You bit the inside of your lip, fighting back a smile as you gave a small shake of your head. “Didn’t think so. I’ll just tell him we drank a little too much and you crashed in the spare room.” Your stomach sank at the thought of a spare room, but he could see it in your eyes before you had the chance to address it. “You’re not actually staying in the spare room, gorgeous.”
“Okay, good.” You breathed, chuckling at your own stupidity. “‘Cause I’d much rather stay here, with you.”
“That was never even a question.” He assured you, letting his fingers gently trail over your back. The light tickle was addicting, comforting and soft. It was exactly what you needed after such a high energy evening. “I’m not even close to being done with you yet.” He said the second part, quieter this time, but you could still sense the truth behind his words.
“No?” You giggled, smiling up at his pretty face.
“Mmm,” he hummed to himself, the sound vibrating his chest. He seemed like he was thinking about all of the possibilities the night held, everything he could do with you (or to you, for that matter), and more importantly, what positions he could put you in. “No, definitely not.”
“I wouldn’t be opposed to that.” You let out a sigh of content, already dreaming of the same things. A silence fell between you for a moment, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. With Jake, it never was. After a while, you felt the urge to speak again, to show your gratitude for his kindness. “Thank you, Jake. For everything.” You whispered. “It really helped.” His lips quirked into a smile as he pulled you closer to him. He leaned down, placing a soft kiss on the top of your head.
“I’m glad I could help, sweetheart.” He muttered, his lips still pressed against your hair. “And please, if you ever need help forgetting about anything at all, just give me a call. I’d love to help you out.”
#gvf#jake kiszka#greta van fleet#sam kiszka#jake gvf#danny wagner#sam gvf#danny gvf#josh gvf#gvf fic#jake kiszka series#jake kiszka gvf#jake kiszka blurb#jake kiszka fluff#jake kiszka angst#jake kiszka fanfic#jake kiszka fic#jake kiszka x reader#jake kiszka smut#gvf smut#gvf fanfiction#gvf fluff#gvf angst#greta van fleet fluff#greta van fleet fic#greta van fleet smut#greta van fleet angst#greta van fleet fanfic#josh kiszka#builtbybrokenbells
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Unforgivable mistake (JoelMillerxreader) Part 3
Summary: Reader is much younger than Joel and is in love with him. One night, after arguing with Tess and getting drunk, Joel spends the night with a reader, but in the morning he breaks her heart… She runs away from Boston hoping that she will never meet this cold bastard again in her life. But almost six years later, she unexpectedly sees Joel in Jackson. She decides to hide herself and her little secret from this asshole.
Warnings: age gap (reader is about 28 years, Joel 58), strong language, swearing, past trauma, bullying, attempted rape, memories of sexual abuse, unprotect p in v, dom!Joel, Joel is asshole, ANGST, hurt, sadness and heartbreaking
Part 3
Joel stared blankly at your door. His breathing was heavy, and his hands moved restlessly and clenched into fists. He wanted to start knocking, banging on the door, and screaming. He wanted to know more about his baby boy. He wanted to argue with you, but at the same time, he didn't want his son to associate him with evening arguing. He didn't want Teddy to be afraid of him.
He finally came home and locked himself in his room. He slept little in the night, still thinking about what he had learned and… He didn't agree with you. He was Teddy's father. Whether you wanted it or not, you wouldn't have gotten pregnant without him. No matter how small and bad a part of him was, he had a part in it. And he knew he would be a good father to his son, just as he was to Sarah. He may not have always been perfect, but he could love and show fatherly love. He wanted to look after Teddy. He just didn't know how. He suspected you'd stop him every time he tried to get close.
So all he had to do was watch the boy from a distance.
Almost 3 weeks after he found out about his son, he saw a scene that made his blood boil.
He had just returned from a patrol with Barbara. He was beginning to suspect that Maria kept connecting him whit this idiot on purpose because she could see how much he hated her.
Suddenly, the woman laughed and murmured, "This little son of Y/N is such a weakling."
He shot her an angry glare, then looked at the scene that was playing out a few meters away. Two boys, older and taller than Teddy, laughed at him as he tried to take his stuffed bunny away from them.
"Weakling? Is that what you call a child who is the victim of two bullies?!" He looked at her with contempt. "But what do you know about children? You're too old for your own. Which is lucky, because you'd obviously make a terrible mother!"
The woman opened and closed her mouth, and he moved quickly to the children. He snatched the stuffed animal from the boy's hands and growled: "Are you having fun? Why don't you try it with me."
Only then boy's mother appeared, who had previously been standing with another woman a few meters away, step in.
"What's going on?! They're just having fun."
"Play? Rather, they bully the younger child."
The woman snorted and looked at him indignantly. "How dare you." She reached out to her sons. "Boys, we're going home."
Joel snorted, then looked softly at Teddy. The boy ran to him and with a big smile took his bunny.
"Thank you," he said and looked at him like a hero.
Joel patted his head, but their interaction was interrupted by the woman who was the mother of the little girl.
"Teddy, we're coming back too."
The boy shook his head and suddenly snuggled up against Joel's leg, taking him completely by surprise. The woman winced slightly.
"Your mom asked me to take care of you. Come on."
"No," the little one moaned.
Joel bent down and picked the boy up. The toddler immediately wrapped his arms around his neck and it was the moment when Teddy, completely unconsciously, took over his dad's heart. Joel cleared his throat and confidently said, "I'll take care of him. I live next door to Y/N."
The woman looked uncertain, but she did not have the strength to face the childish tantrum. She shrugged and finally said, "All right."
Joel smiled and patted his son on the back. "Teddy, do you want to meet Ellie?" The little boy nodded enthusiastically. "Let's go. Do you want me to carry you?"
"Yes."
"Alright."
When Joel entered the house, Ellie gave him a surprised look. He walked past her and sat Teddy in a chair in the kitchen.
"Wait here. We'll find some crayons and paper for you in a moment."
Ellie grabbed his arm as he tried to cross the threshold. "What happened witch keeping distance?"
"Maybe it's time to break the ice." Seeing her shocked expression, he laughed a little and added: "Two boys were bullying him and I chased them away. And he stuck with me. What was I supposed to do?"
Ellie looked at the boy, who sat politely and waved his legs rhythmically. "Yes, he's cute, but what about Y/N?"
"Leave Mama Bear on my head."
"As you wish." She spread her arms and ran to the baby. "Hi, Teddy!"
The little one smiled widely and started talking to her, and Joel… Joel felt proud and happy. He had a wonderful, beautiful, smart son and he was not going to give up being his dad.
*
You were furious when Joanna told you who she allowed to take your treasure, your precious little one. You wanted to yell at her, scratch her eyes out, but at the same time, you knew that she often helped you by taking care of your child. Plus, how could she know about your hatred of Joel, from what she said, Teddy really wanted to go with him.
Ellie opened the door for you and gave you a sharp look. You knew he didn't like you, and you guessed why.
"Where is he?" you asked trying to contain all your rage.
The girl nodded and led you into the living room, your heart skipping a beat at the sight you saw. This could be the cutest picture in the world if it wasn't for the fact that your son fell asleep in this asshole's arms. Teddy looked so calm that your heart trembled. Joel was sitting on the couch with your little one sleeping on his chest, Teddy's little head resting on Joel's shoulder. You saw how protectively he held the little one and you wanted to break his arms. You moved towards him and hissed, "Give him to me."
Joel sighed heavily and whispered, "Calm down. I'll take him to your house in a moment."
You shook your head. "Give. Me. Him. NOW. And never touch him again," you hissed.
Joel rolled his eyes and muttered, "I won't hurt him."
You felt a wave of rage wash over you, and you didn't even care that Ellie was standing next to you. "You already hurt him. The moment you conceived him. The moment you ignored the fact that your dick was causing me pain."
Joel felt as if someone had punched him in the face. You took advantage of this and quickly took your son, who sleepily purred, "Mommy?"
You rubbed his back and whispered, "Shh, sleep baby."
You looked at Ellie who stared at you in shock. " I'm sorry that you heard this," you said as you walked past her and left their damned living room.
*
Ellie looked at Joel sadly. "Teddy is your son." he nodded. "And you hurt Y/N?"
Joel immediately stood up and walked over to her, but she backed away sharply, so he stopped. "What? No, Ellie... It's not like that. Y/N was an adult and... She wanted it."
She looked at him. "Really? Because it didn't sound like that at all!" He reached out to her, but she pushed him away and ran out of the house.
Joel rubbed his temples and sighed heavily. Why did he have to screw everything up? But he didn't do anything wrong. He just wanted to spend some time with his own child.
*
You put your son to bed when you heard a soft knock. You swung the door open and growled, "What the fuck..." You stopped mid-sentence. "Ellie? Sorry, I thought it was Joel.”
"Can we talk?"
Her behavior disturbed you. She didn't look like the saucy, rebellious teenager you used to see. She was more like a scared child, and your maternal instincts took over immediately. "Of course. Come on." When she came in, you put your arm around her and led her to the kitchen. "Would you like some lemonade?"
"Hmm."
You sat across from each other at the kitchen island. Ellie was silent, and you decided to break the silence. "Look, I'm really sorry. I lost my nerves. I just told Joel not to go near Teddy and..."
"Did he force you to get pregnant? Did he rape you?"
You froze at first. Ellie stared at you with sad eyes, and you realized there was something more in this question. You grabbed her hand and calmly asked, "Ellie, did someone hurt you?"
She nodded at first, but then said, "No... I mean... He tried."
You swallowed, afraid to ask if it was Joel. Part of you absolutely didn't believe it. Joel was a bastard, he was an asshole, he was a complete dick, but... Not a pedophile. You didn't know how far you could go and asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"
There was silence for a long time and you wanted to apologize to her when she took a shuddering breath and started saying, "It was after we left Jackson. Joel got hurt and (...)"
You listened patiently to her stories about David and his cult, how they ate people, and how he wanted to use Ellie, even force her to have children with him. You were scared and angry at the same time. The dude was worse than Joel. He was a hundred times worse dick. If it weren't for the fact that he was already dead, you would have found him and killed him yourself.
"Then Joel found me and I thought... I thought I was safe with him."
You wanted to hit yourself when you realized how Ellie read your words to Joel. You squeezed her hand tighter and said, "You're safe with him. I can say a lot of bad things about him, but Joel is not a pedophile, cannibal, or rapist."
"But you said..."
"I know what I said." You took a deep breath. "Listen to me. I was young and naive. I was in love with him and he... He didn't act like a decent guy, but he didn't rape me. I went to bed with him of my own free. Sex with him... He wasn't gentle, and in the morning he thought our night together was a mistake. He said a lot of nasty things to me and left me with a broken heart."
Ellie nodded and muttered, "He was an asshole."
"Yes."
"He's acting like that less and less." You smiled slightly at her words. "And Teddy?"
"He didn't know about him. I left Boston the next day and found out about the pregnancy while traveling."
Ellie looked down and mumbled, "I'm sorry that I thought you were a bitch."
"It's okay. I even understand you a little."
Suddenly Teddy appeared in the kitchen. He was still sleepy and rubbing his eyes with a small fist, but when he saw the teenage girl, he immediately woke up. "Ellie! Will you play with me?"
The girl looked at you, and you said, "Go ahead."
You were surprised at how well they got along. You didn't know if Ellie was affected by your son's charm or the fact that he was Joel's son, but you didn't care. You enjoyed their good relationship. By evening, Teddy had told you about how Joel helped him, and you felt a little silly. Maybe you needn't have been so hard on him. Your son obviously already loved him, not even knowing it was his dad.
You heard Ellie's quiet grunts and turned your attention to her.
"It's getting late," she said, and you nodded. "Could I stay here tonight?"
You were really surprised how quickly the relationship between you two changed.
"Of course you can, but Joel won't really hurt you."
"I know, but I'm still mad at him, for cheating me. He said you were getting revenge because he didn't want to leave Tess." You snorted annoyed. "He left out the rest."
"Okay. But you have to tell him." Ellie winced, and you sort of automatically added, "Okay, I'll let him know."
You didn't really know why you suggested it. Did it was, your motherly instinct to protect Ellie? Or did you want to stick another pin in Joel, letting him know that the teenage girl prefers you?
You couldn't back away from your words and you made your way to his house with heavy steps.
It was even funny to see how stupid Joel looked when he opened the door.
"Y/N?"
"Ellie wants to stay with me for the night. I agreed."
Joel leaned back slightly. He blinked once, then twice before he understood your words. He was sure Ellie stayed somewhere in town. When he realized she was with you, he felt uneasy.
"She talked to you?"
"Yes. She told me about David and wanted to know if you raped me." You could easily see the horror on his face. "You care about her?"
"Yes," he croaked.
"I told her the truth that I went to bed with you willingly. And that you were an asshole in the morning, but... You're not a pedophile or a rapist."
Joel's shoulders slumped and he breathed a sigh of relief. You had the opportunity to hurt him deeply. Ruin his relationship with Ellie, but as always you had a good heart.
"Thank you and… I'm sorry I took Teddy."
He surprised you, but you didn't show it. You calmly replied, "Teddy told me what you did. He thinks you're a hero."
Joel smiled slightly. "These kids were teasing him and I..." He looked at you confidently. "I am his father, Y/N. No matter how hard you try, you won't change it. And I won't abandon him. I will protect him, love him, and take care of him. You can fight me or accept my help in raising him."
You shook your head and replied, "And here is old Joel. You're trying to fix the whole world, even though you're destroying it yourself, but fine. I'll let you meet him but on one condition."
"What?"
"You're not allowed to say you're his father. You can be his friend or uncle, but not 'dad'. Do you understand?"
Joel clenched his jaw and looked at you angrily. He thought you were playing unfairly, but at the same time, he really wanted to look after Teddy.
"Alright," he murmured.
"Great" you replied and smiled. Then you turned on your heel and went home pleased with yourself. You knew your requirement would hurt Joel, but you thought he deserved it. Yes, he defended your son and took care of him, but that didn't mean your wounds were healed. You still felt that Joel didn't understand how much he hurt you. So you had every right to attack him.
*
A/N: I really think after what happened in episode 8, Ellie should talk to someone.
Part II
Part IV
Taglist: @ajeff855, @anislabonis-love, @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi, @i-workwithpens, @milla-frenchy, @quality-lust @liatome @sarahhxx03 @creedslove @jojo-munson @pascalislove @sofiparallel
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal characters#joel miller#joel miller fanfiction#joel and ellie#ellie williams#joel miller x reader#joel miller and you#joel is daddy#joel is asshole#angst#past trauma
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Awake-Part 4
Crosshair x f! Innkeeper
*Not canon to Season 3*
Parts 1 2 3
Chapter Summary: Crosshair begins to try and settle into life on Pabu while dealing with his feelings.
Authors Notes: It’s another long one folk! This one was tough for me to write for whatever reason. I think I hit a wall and I’m slowly getting over it. Think of it as a 60ft wall and I’m using two little daggers to climb over it because I can’t find a ladder. Does that make sense? Idfk. All I know is this took me longer than intended and I’m so sorry for that! I still hope you’ll enjoy this chapter! ♥️
Spotify Playlist has been updated with the new song!
Awake, he was fucking awake again. The entire inn was asleep and yet here he fucking was. Wide awake and lost in thought. Ever since he’d arrived on this island he’d barely slept. When he did sleep she wasn’t there anymore. Instead, she was replaced by those he’d lost like Mayday and Tech. They haunted his sleep. They berated him and reminded him of their deaths. Tortured him with the knowledge that they’d both died and he was in some way connected.
It had been a week since they’d returned to Pabu and Crosshair had scarcely left his room. In the last seven days, he’d left twice. Once, on their first day there to try and interact with the others, and then on day four to go with Hunter and Echo to check on Wrecker and the kid. He couldn’t even make it to their home before he turned back. He couldn’t do it, he couldn’t face the kid right now.
During his walk back to his room, he ran into you. You smiled at him and it made his heart beat fast. He still didn’t understand how you could be real. You used to run rampant in his dreams and then suddenly you’d stopped. Your voice, your laugh, and your eyes, it was all the same. How could this be possible? He still hadn’t mentioned to the others about his dream in fear they’d write him off as crazy. Deep down he knew they never would do that. But his mind kept telling him they could.
“Good evening, Crosshair.” You said sweetly to him as he walked by. The flowing sundress you wore blew in the breeze of your opened patio doors. “Will you join us for dinner tonight?” You looked hopefully at him.
He shook his head no as he neared the stairs. He felt horrible for not speaking to you. He’d dreamed about you so much before meeting you and now he couldn’t even face you. What would you think of him if you knew everything he’d done and what he’d gone through? Would you continue to be this nice?
You watched in silence. The way he was acting reminded you of how Stitches had acted after losing her parents. It had been months before she was back to normal. From what you’d heard from Stitches, Crosshair had made the call to the boys to warn them. Could he possibly blame himself for them leaving the safety of Pabu and the avoidable death of his brother? You sincerely hoped that wasn’t the case. That was a dark deep pit to be stuck in. It took you and many others months to get Stitches back to normal. Maybe you should reach out to him? Talk to him? The sound of the door opening drew your attention away from the clone and back to your business.
-*-
The second week came and went in a haze for Crosshair. He barely left his room and barely ate the food you brought up. He could hear his brothers in the hall talking to you on different occasions and the concern you felt for him was clear. It was only when he was sure everyone was out of the hall did he ever open his door for food. He wanted to leave his room, he did, but it was like there was a weight on him preventing him from doing so. It chained him to his room and anchored him to that space alone. Every time he attempted to leave his chest would get heavy.
One night at the beginning of the third week, when the moon was full and illuminated the island in a gentle glow, he found himself compelled to leave his room. He wasn’t sure why he was compelled to leave, he just was. He crept down the stairs quietly in hopes of not waking his slumbering brothers or you. To his surprise, you were already awake and sitting on the patio in one of the chairs overlooking your garden with the door wide open. A gentle breeze blew through the room carrying the scent of lavender and roses in the air. Crosshair inhaled slowly and let out a quiet sigh. He’d been stuck in his room for so long that he’d forgotten the smell of fresh sea air. It reminded him of Kamino. He, surprisingly, missed the water planet.
He stepped towards the patio door and the floor creaked beneath his feet. You turned in your seat and smiled softly at him.
“Crosshair, I was wondering when I’d see you again.” Your voice was gentle like the ocean air. You didn’t stand from your seat but simply looked over your shoulder at the mysterious clone. You’d briefly seen his hands poke out from his room to grab a tray of food before the door would shut again. You could hear him moving around from the first floor and you’d heard him cry out a few nights prior.
He didn’t say anything to you as he stepped out onto the patio. A cup of tea sat on the table in front of you with steam swirling from it. You motioned to a chair near you and after a moment of hesitation, he sat down.
“Here.” You whispered. “I’ll go make another cup. Don’t worry, I haven’t drunk from it.” Carefully the cup was passed to him before you stood and went back inside.
Crosshair hadn’t expected you to give him your drink. He hadn’t expected anything from you, he didn’t deserve anything from you. Not after the things he’d done. His hand wrapped around the cup and the warmth from the drink spread across his body making goose flesh scatter his skin. Behind him, the sound of you in the kitchen could be heard. The clink of another mug being placed on the counter, a cabinet opening, the clang of the kettle on the stove, and the sound of a metal spoon stirring in the mug. It all rang out in the silent night air to his ears. After a few minutes, you returned with a happy hum and sat back in your chair.
A silence hung in the air between the two of you as you both stared at the night sky. Every few moments Crosshair would shift in his seat or take a drink of the tea. A cool night breeze danced through the air and against your skin making you shiver. “Should have brought my sweater.” You joked lightly before moving to go inside and grab a blanket. Instead, Crosshair stood and motioned for you to stay in your seat. He moved inside quickly and after a minute returned with a blanket. “Oh, thank you, Crosshair.” You spoke gently as he laid the blanket around your shoulders. You watched as he returned to his seat and the two of you fell back into your silence.
An hour later you finally let out a long sigh and broke the silence. “I should get inside and get some sleep before I have to make breakfast.”
Oh, you were leaving already? He was kind of enjoying this quiet time. He watched as you stood from the table with the blanket still around your shoulders. Words seemed to fail him as you stood in the glow of the moonlight in your pajama shorts and tank top.
Grabbing your empty mug of tea, you began to head inside before stopping in the doorway. “You should take a walk down to the docks. There’s a sea wall you can sit on and just breathe in the crisp sea air. It might help you clear your mind.”
“How do you know I need to clear my mind?” Crosshair stood from his chair.
“My apartment is below your room.” You pointed over your shoulder. “I hear you moving around at night. You have trouble sleeping, don’t you?” Reaching up, you pulled the blanket tighter around your shoulders as you tried to fight off the chill of the night air.
“I” he hesitated. You were right, he was having trouble sleeping.
“Take the walk, Crosshair. When you get back you can take a long shower and I’ll have breakfast ready for you.” You passed him a sweet smile before turning and heading inside, not giving him the chance to argue. A plan was forming in your head.
He watched you place the blanket on the back of the couch in the living area before disappearing into the apartment behind the door marked ‘Private’. A shower and breakfast? Did he smell that bad? He gave himself a sniff and frowned, it had been a few days since he’d last showered.
Crosshair looked out at the vast star-filled sky and chewed his lip. Perhaps you were right, a long walk in fresh air might do him some good. No doubt the shower later would help as well. Grabbing the same blanket you had used, he wrapped it around his shoulders and headed out the front door.
You stood watching from your balcony as the quiet clone began the descent down the island. It would take him some time to reach the docks at the speed he was walking. But perhaps that was a good thing. You’d never gone through a big tragedy like they had. Your life on Pabu had been perfect. Two parents who loved you fiercely, grandparents who adored you, and an inn that, before the empire had taken over, had been doing great.
Your mother had passed from sickness a few years prior and your father soon after from, what the doctor had called a broken heart. It was sad and you’d cried your eyes out for nearly a month. But you knew people like Stitches had had it harder. Your grandparents took over raising you but then they passed the year before, your grandmother in spring and your grandfather in winter, and thus you were on your own. It wasn’t some tragic tale of loss and heartbreak. You hadn’t been traumatized from any of it. In short, your life had indeed been close to perfect as perfect could be. The only bad times you could think of where you truly were upset would have to be the bad breakups you’d had over the years. That was to be expected when you dated customers.
With a sigh, you thought about your family. You’d been sad when your parents passed, that much was true. But your grandmother had always told you to take walks and let the sea air calm you. It worked too. Perhaps it was one of those old wives' tales mixed with a placebo effect. But you believed in it and hopefully so would Crosshair. If your grandmother was still alive she would have dragged him from his room on the third day and forced him to eat a big bowl of her homemade lentil soup. He probably would have outwardly hated it, but it would have warmed his soul and no doubt it would have helped him. You’d once tried to make the soup in hopes of honoring your grandmother, but it didn’t taste anything close to hers. You hadn’t tried to make it since then. Maybe you should, perhaps the boys would like it.
They were still your only customers, more like tenants at this point. You’d had conversations with both Echo and Hunter since they’d first arrived and you’d seen Stitches, Wrecker, and Omega just a few days ago when you went to pick up the clothes the seamstress had made for the boys. One night, a few days ago, Hunter and Echo explained what happened. Your heart hurt for them. To lose a brother in such a terrible way was one of the worst things imaginable. You’d offered your condolences to them and they’d taken it. Now you understood why Omega and Wrecker were having nightmares and why Stitches was so worried. You’d asked if anyone had told Chai what had happened and both men shook their heads.
“I offered to explain it all to her. But she said she wasn’t ready.” Hunter had told you solemnly.
You wondered if the girl would ever be ready. With a long hum, you pushed off the balcony wall and stepped back into your room. The worry for your friends ran through your head as you laid back into your much too-large bed. Perhaps you’d visit Chai in the morning? Check on her before checking on Stitches and her little family. Whatever you’d do, Crosshair would come first. You fell back to sleep thinking about your plan.
-*-
The walk down Pabu was surprisingly nice. The cool night air mixed with the sea air and blew through his skin in a way that had him closing his eyes and sighing. Memories of Kamino danced through his mind. Sure they were ignored and on the receiving end of insults from the regs but outside of that, it was his home. The place he grew up with his vod at.the place where he’d made the stupid decision to wait for the empire instead of going with the batch. Whether the memories were good or bad, that ocean scent would always transport him home.
He followed the cobblestone path to the base of the hill where a waist-high seawall sat. A figure shifted on the wall making him realize he wasn’t alone. Instinctually, he moved to grab his blaster but realized he didn’t have it. He moved to turn and head away from the potential danger when he kicked a loose pebble across the cobblestones. The sound seemed to echo in the quiet night air. The figure shifted and turned to face him. It was her, Techs girl.
“Oh. I thought I was the only one up this late.” Chai tried to force a smile but found herself still unable to. She’d last smiled before they returned. Back when she felt like everything would be okay and Tech would come back to her. Now it felt like she’d never smile again. She looked at his brother with tired eyes and found the same exhaustion looking back at her. “Couldn’t sleep?”
“No” What was he supposed to say to her at this moment? It was clear she wanted to be alone. He’d heard Hunter talking to Doll and Echo about how the woman didn’t want to know about what happened to Tech. Seeing as he was the cause of his death, Crosshair was the last person who should be talking to her. “I’ll leave.”
“No!” Chai nearly jumped off the sea wall. Perhaps having the company of one of his brothers would help calm her. “Please. Join me?” She patted the space next to her.
Crosshair swallowed as your words rang out to him. The sea air would help, hopefully you were right. He nodded to Chai before moving to the wall and boosting himself onto the stone wall. His feet dangled next to hers and he wished he hadn’t worn shoes so he could feel the spray on his ankles. How they were sitting reminded him once more of Kamino and how he and his brothers would sit and watch the Aiwha fly around.
“We haven’t been introduced. I’m Chai.” She released the datapad in her lap with one hand and offered it to the clone before her. A burn scar could be seen on the right side of his head and she wondered how he got it. Tech had never mentioned a burn scar.
“Crosshair.” He shook her hand gently before looking down at the familiar datapad. “You look yet?” The question left him before he could stop it.
She shook her head solemnly. “I tried a few days ago. But it’s locked and I don’t know the code. I tried his clone number but it didn’t work.” Talking to him was almost refreshing in a way. This was the most she’d spoken in days.
“Check his goggles. He wrote the code in one of the rims.” Just in case he forgot it for whatever reason. Crosshair was the only one to know of its location. It was his job as Tech's twin to know these things. Twin, he wasn’t a twin anymore. Now it was just him. Tech understood him deeper than anyone else had and now he was on his own.
“Oh.” She looked down at the device in her lap and sighed softly. She’d look for the code when she went home. Maybe today would be the day she’d look through it. “Thanks”
Crosshair nodded before looking back out over the ocean. It was nice here, just the sound of the ocean waves hitting the rocks below and their breathing. Maybe a sigh here or there but that was it.
Chai had to admit, she appreciated the silence that fell. For the past two weeks, people had been offering their condolences and sympathy for her loss. Her brothers and father had tried to talk her through the grief and both Hunter and Echo had tried to explain what had happened. But so far Crosshair was keen to not say anything about the topic. She liked that. For these last two weeks, she’d felt so alone. But having someone just sit by her who wasn’t trying to talk about anything seemed to be just what she needed.
After an hour, Chai turned and hopped off the wall. “I should go back and get ready to open the shop.” A shop owner's job didn’t stop, not even for the death of one they cared for. Crosshair nodded to her, not moving to stand. “I come down most nights. Feel free to join me.”
He looked over his shoulder at the girl before nodding once more. He had barely any words to say to her. His mind hadn’t stopped running over what to say to her or discuss with her. But according to Shaak Ti, sometimes saying nothing was just as important as saying something. She offered for him to join her another night. Would she hold that offer once she learned what he’d done? That he was why Tech was gone? “Thanks.” Was all he could think to say to her.
-*-
You woke up to the sound of Crosshair's door shutting and his feet crossing the room. Perfect. You checked your clock and found it had been three hours since he’d left. Hopefully that time away did him some good. Humming softly, you pulled yourself from the warmth of your bed and back into the cool air blowing in off the ocean. You’d left your balcony doors open and that cool crisp air had filled your room. Pulling on your long robe, you stepped out of your room and over to the main kitchen. Stitches would be dropping off breakfast and lunch for them soon enough, but you wanted to do something more traditional and hearty for him. Something to truly welcome him to the island.
While two eggs were boiling in salted water, you pulled fresh yogurt from the conservator that had been delivered the day before from one of Pabu’s sister islands. A merchant fleet of ships traveled to all the islands on your planet, even Pabu had two ships that were part of the fleet.
You poured the yogurt into a small dish and added a drizzle of honey over the top of it with a few figs on the side before moving over to start the gliko caf. Maybe he wouldn’t like it so sweet but you loved it that way and so he’d have to at least try it. You poured the sugar and cream into the cups and waited for the delicious dark liquid to pour from the brewer. Now you just needed the kalathaki, prozimi, and the amygdalota. You had the feta, gruyere, and nuts already.
As if on cue, there was a knock on your front door. After a moment the door opened and Chai’s older brother, Vino, came in with your daily order of sweets and bread. He was always kind enough to swing by the bakers and pick up your bread order. Chai had let it slip that he had a crush on you and while you found it sweet, you didn’t feel the same way back. He was your best friend's brother after all.
“Thank you, Vino.” You stepped around the island in your kitchen and over to the basket in his hands.
“Anytime, Doll.” He smiled at you the same way he always did. With a twinkle in his eye and a smile that reached his bright blues. “Your orders have been bigger since the clones arrived.”
You took the basket from him and shrugged. “They eat a lot. Well, two of them do. Plus I split with Stitches.” The smell of the prozimi wafted through the air and made you sigh. The sourdough always smelled amazing. “How is she?” You hadn’t heard from your dear friend in a few days and you worried.
Vino shrugged. “Some days are better than others. She’s been going out at night when she thinks we’re all asleep. Goes to the seawall and just stares.”
“They had a lot of moments there.” The seawall, huh? You wondered if Crosshair had run into her a few hours ago. “I’ll swing by and talk to her later today. That okay?”
“You know you’re always welcome at our place, Doll.” You were like family after all. He reached out and placed a hand on your shoulder gently. “Maybe talking to you will pull her out of her funk. I haven’t seen her this bad, ever. Not even when mom passed.”
You nodded to him while patting his hand. “She’ll be okay. Just give her some time. We all grieve in our own way.”
Vino stepped closer to you and looked down into your eyes. “Are you grieving as well?” He raised his hand to stroke your chin but heard someone clear their throat behind him. Damn. One of these days he’d get the courage to ask you out.
“Stitches!” Thank the stars she was here. Things were getting awkward with Vino.
“Hey, Good morning.” She winked at you as you stepped around Vino and back to your island. She walked across the room and elbowed her friend's brother. “Vino. Don’t you have a shop to open?”
“Right.” He nodded to you sweetly. “See ya later? I’ll let Chai know you’re coming over.”
“Sounds good. Thanks again, Vino.” You watched as the man waved bye to Stirches before leaving. You shook your head as you stepped around the counter and back to the slowly forming tray of food. Already you could tell that Stitches was going to tease you. The basket of goodies was placed on the counter while you checked on the caf. It was almost ready. Just five more minutes. You could see into the small crate that Stitches carried. Six containers of food sat neatly within. “Hope this wasn’t too early for ya.” You tried to avoid the teasing that was no doubt coming.
“I was heading to the school to get Omega enrolled so I’ve got some time.” She walked over and placed the crate down while smirking. “So you and Vino, huh?”
“Don’t start.” You hated how awkward things were between you two now that you knew he liked you. “Wish Chai had never said anything.” The goodies of your basket were pulled out and placed on the counter. The kalathaki looked amazing with its golden crispy crust. You pulled out a knife and cut two pieces from the cheese-based pie. A few more slices were cut and placed into your fridge before you packaged the rest up for Stitches.
“I think it’s cute.” She watched as you sliced a few pieces of the sourdough bread and placed it on the tray. Now who were you making all of this for? “He’s like a little puppy with the way he does things for you.” She reached over and plucked an amygdalota from the basket. The almond cookie danced on her tongue as she took a bite. “Ugh, Chai definitely made these.” They tasted just right. Nice and firm on the outside but chewy on the inside with just the right balance of salt and sugar.
She moved over to your conservator and pulled out a few pieces of mixed fruit as well as some olives. “Wow, good haul from the merchant ships. Was Dion working?” Out of all the merchants, Dion liked you the most, and thus he always gave you a great deal. She placed the items on the counter next to you.
“Yeah.” Once again there was another man who crushed on you. None of them fit that fairytale romance you wanted though. You wanted someone who would listen to what you had to say and understand it. Someone who looked at you like you were everything to them. Someone who you could care for but would care for you as well. That perfect relationship like yours, and so many others, parents had.
“So which one of them is it? Who's the lucky clone getting this amazing-looking tray of food.” She watched as you placed a few of the almond cookies onto the tray before turning and grabbing the eggs from the water. Stitches was quick to help you by grabbing a bowl and filling it with ice and water.
You deposited the eggs into the water to quickly cool as you finished filling the tray. All you needed was the eggs and then the caf. Already your inn was smelling amazing and no doubt the other clones would be up soon. You tried to ignore her question but as usual, your friend wouldn’t let up.
“Can’t be Hunter, he’s too rugged for your taste. Remember Ienzo? You hated his ruggedness.” She grabbed an olive and popped it into her mouth. The salty brine burst in her mouth. She hadn't eaten before she left and it was catching up to her.
“Ienzo’s beard was too long and had stuff stuck in it. Not to mention his hair was too greasy. I don’t think I’d call that rugged. I’d just call that gross. From what I’ve seen, Hunter is far from that.” But still far from your type. You grabbed the caf from the brewer and poured it into the two cups. It took a lot of willpower not to down your cup right away.
Stitches shook her head as you rolled your eyes. “Ok, well it can’t be Echo. He’s far too pale for you. Remember Ansem?”
You placed a few pieces of cutlery on the tray before looking around for some napkins. “Ansem couldn’t even step outside without burning. I can’t be with someone like that while living on a sunny island. From what I understand, Echo is recovering from some serious shit and hasn’t regained his color. Just as Crosshair is.”
As soon as you said his name she knew she’d got you. “So it is Crosshair.” She giggled excitedly. “You and Crosshair. I can’t believe it!” Wrecker had folded her very little about Crosshair. Just that he was Tech’s twin and had been the one to make the call that sent them on their rescue mission.
“Will you keep your voice down? Honestly.” You shooed her with one of the cloth napkins you’d found. “It’s not like that. He’s struggling with something. I just want to try and help him through whatever it is.” Having someone moping around your inn wouldn’t look good for you. Plus he was too cute to be sad.
Oh. Oh no. You found him cute.
No, you couldn’t fall for yet another customer. Not after the last one. You’d made a deal with yourself that you wouldn’t date another customer. You were just helping him because you felt bad for him. Yeah. That was all. Not because he had soft eyes filled with emotion or a cute butt. No, it was just because he was sad and you were trying to be nice.
“Doll? Doooollll.” Stitches waved her hand in your face to draw your attention once more.
“Huh? What?” You hadn’t realized you’d zoned out. You waved her hand away from your face before walking over to the bowl of ice and pulling out the two eggs.
“I asked if you’d be making him this special meal every day?” If you were then she could cut back on one of the meals she made every day.
Sighing, you shook your head. “Just today. I’m trying to make him feel comfortable here. It can be hard going from one planet to another, especially when dealing with the death of a brother.” Or so you’d heard from passing customers. Back before the Empire took over you had all manner of customers come through your inn. Families, vendors, bounty hunters, and lone wolves. You’d seen it all and heard it all. You may not have experienced hardship like those around you, but you understood it enough.
“Right.” She clapped her hands together and hugged you quickly. “Well I expect to be the first to know when that fails and you end up married to him.”
“Oh, my gods. Why are you this way?” You hugged her before shooing her once more. “I can guarantee it won’t come to that.”
“Whatever you say, Doll. Whatever you say.” She gathered her portion of the baked goods and bread into the basket. She took a moment to think about something before speaking in a more serious tone. “Don’t force him, or Chai, to talk about what’s wrong. You know as much as I do that’ll just push them deeper into themselves.”
Your lips formed a thin line as you nodded. “I know.” There was a moment of hesitation between you two before you continued. “How are they? Wrecker and Omega?”
She hummed in thought for a moment. “It’s day by day. They both still have nightmares and Omega barely eats right now. But I think getting her enrolled in school and back around other kids will help.” Stitches checked the basket for everything to distract herself from worrying too much about her little family. “Give Chai my love?”
“I will.” You nodded while resting your hands on the cool countertop. “I’ll stop by after I talk to her. ‘Kay?” Your friend nodded before turning and leaving your inn. Only once the door was shut did you move around the counter and begin to pull the containers of food from the crate. You’d quickly get these sorted before going up to Crosshair’s room. Hopefully, he was done showering by now.
-*-
Crosshair sat on the edge of his bed in the darkness of his room. He’d showered after his walk and reluctantly put a fresh pair of pajama pants on instead of simply laying on his bed in a towel. He wasn’t back to normal, it would take a lot longer for that to happen, but he did feel a little bit better.
A soft knock on his door drew his attention. Standing, he walked over to the door and pressed his ear against the cool metal.
“Crosshair? I brought you a little something to eat.” You spoke just barely loud enough for him to hear. Not wanting to wake his brothers up or draw attention to you two.
He paused for a moment before opening the door with the intent of taking the tray of food from you and then going back into his room alone. It seemed you had other plans though. With a sweet smile at him that shook his entire body, you stepped past him and into the room he’d holed himself up in for two weeks. He barely caught sight of the tray but it was far from ‘a little’. From what he’d seen it was a lot, the tray was full. “Umm,” What was he supposed to say? Get out? What are you doing? You look nice in that dress.
Wait.
You’d worn a sundress countless times before, it seemed to be your preferred outfit, so why did he think you looked nice this time? He stood in the doorway watching you closely as you moved to the desk and placed down the tray. You stepped over to the window and in one swift movement the curtains were pulled back and the morning light flooded his room. The dress you wore was light blue with white stripes running down it multiple times. You had a pair of heeled strap sandals on and your hair was down. You looked just like you did nearly every time he’d caught a glimpse of you. So what was it about this time that made him feel this way?
“Don’t worry, I won’t be charging you extra for the meal.” You smirked at him before turning around and staring at his window. It was a little musky in here. With a cute humph, you unlatched the window and pushed it open happily. The crisp morning air blew into the room instantly and fluttered your dress making you laugh lightly.
Crosshair practically swooned at your smirk. When the wind blew your dress around his knees nearly gave out. You were the most stunning creature he’d ever seen. “Huh?” Wow, he was not great at speaking to you.
You fought the little chuckle that bubbled its way into your throat. “How was your walk? Did you make it to the seawall?” You’d been fussing with the tray of food until you heard the door shut. Good, he wasn’t running for the hills. Smiling, you looked up at him and watched as he walked across the room to you. It was only then that you noticed he wasn’t wearing a shirt. Your cheeks flushed at the sight of his surprisingly toned body. Hunter had told you that he’d been a prisoner for a while but that didn’t seem to have affected him too much.
The morning sun enveloped you like a halo of orange and yellow as he stepped across the room. Seeing you like this, looking so beautiful, it seemed to loosen his tongue. “I did. It was nice.” He looked down at the tray of food and felt his mouth water. Everything looked so good, even the eggs.
Picking up one of the mugs of caf, you passed it to him. “Did you see Chai? Her brother told me this morning that she’s been going out at night.”
“I did.” Her brother? He didn’t realize she had a brother. There wasn’t much he knew about the girl, only that Tech was interested in her. This morning? It had only been a few hours since he’d seen the girl. Was it normal for men to come to your inn so early in the morning? Why did that make his heart twinge? “Didn’t say much.” He took the caf from you and waited for you to pick up the one intended for you.
“Did she seem okay?” Your hand hesitated over your cup.
You really cared for the girl, didn’t you? “She was quiet. Told her the code for the datapad.”
Picking up the caf, you chewed your lip. “So she still hasn’t looked at it?” Echo had explained that there was something on the device that Tech had wanted her to see. What it was no one seemed to know. It was all just part of the contingency the clone seemed to have had.
“Suppose not.” If she couldn’t even unlock the device then there was no way that she’d seen what was inside.
You couldn’t let this get you down, not when you’d come in here with a plan. The cup in your hands was held out to him in cheers that he seemed reluctant to return. Never dropping the smile that you forced back onto your face, you took a sip of your caf and hummed happily. It was just the perfect level of sweetness with a small bite of bitterness on the tail end. “I’ll check on her later.” You watched Crosshair carefully as he downed the entire cup of caf. He made a face that let you know that he didn’t care for the sweetness of the drink. It made you chuckle. “Sorry, wasn’t sure how you liked your caf.”
You were so happy and peppy. Usually, that would annoy him but on you, it looked great. It almost made him want to smile and forget about everything. Almost. “It’s fine.”
Well, it was the thought that counted. “Well, I think you should try the kalathaki next. It’s from the baker, they’re the best on the island when it comes to the pies.” You picked up the plate holding a slice of the cheese pie, it smelled delicious.
Crosshair looked down at the tray of food and felt his stomach ache. He’d barely been eating these last couple of days. It all looked good too, you truly knew how to make a meal. But his mind and body pulled away from the food. He couldn’t bring himself to eat. Shaking his head, he lived to step away but heard you clear your throat suddenly.
You watched the way he turned from you. Oh, he thought he’d get out of eating? Clearing your throat, you picked up a fork and cut a small piece of the pie. “Try a bite?” You gave him the best puppy dog eyes that you could muster.
“I” he let out a long sigh. How could he say no when you looked at him like that? You’d gone through all the work of making the food for him and bringing it up to his room. The least he could do was try a small bite. Crosshair allowed you to slide a small piece into his mouth, the smile on your face pure as he did so.
It tasted amazing. Better than anything he’d had before. The flavor burst in his mouth making his tongue sing. His stomach practically growled at the introduction of delicious food. He’d only been snacking on small pieces of bread or the rolls that came with the meals she dropped off. This was on an entirely different level. Before he could process the first bite you were already cutting another piece. He should step in and say he was able to feed himself but you seemed so pleased with yourself and honestly? He was tired.
You let him chew the piece in his mouth while you set the plate down. Moving behind him, you grabbed the chair and placed it behind him. Without a word, he sat down and stared at you. You could see how tired he was, but that was okay. You’d take care of him.
-*-
Thirty minutes later he took his final bite of the food. It had been a slow process for you to feed him, he didn’t seem too excited to eat. It wasn’t a lot that he’d eaten, small amounts here and there from the different items on the tray, but he’d at least eaten something.
You stood from the spot on the floor that you’d slid into. It had been silent in the room since you’d started feeding him. You didn’t mind too much. Yes, it was odd at first but you didn’t want to press him too much. You were lucky that he’d let you in and do this much for him, pressing your luck could prove futile. He could easily lock back up and not let you in again.
“Come on.” You whispered while extending your hand to him.
The last thirty minutes had flown by in a blur as you fed him. He’d felt like a child at first but slowly he’d felt something else. Gratefulness? Lust? Desire? Someone as beautiful as you had been hand-feeding him. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve someone like you taking care of someone like him. Every moment and bite was savored as you worked around the tray. All of it had been delicious, but the pie had by far been his favorite.
You stood and offered your hand to him and without hesitation he took it. He was easily pulled onto his feet and into your body. “S-sorry.” Came from him as he realized how close to you he was, you smelled amazing.
Oh. He was warm. Your hand rested against his muscular chest for a moment as you repositioned him. You intended to lead him to his bed so he could get some sleep but you realized it was messy and deeply slept in. No doubt it smelled as bad as it looked. “Follow me?”
Follow you? Follow you where? He’d trusted you so far. He continued to hold your hand as you led him from his room. “Where are we go-“
“We’re going on an adventure.” You squeezed his hand gently while leading him down the hall and the stairs.
In the dining area at the table sat Hunter and Echo. Both men were distracted in a discussion over information Rex had found on some Republic medical staff prisoners. The stairs creaked under the dual weight of you and Crosshair as the two of you walked down them. Hunter looked over to say good morning to you and was surprised to see your hand wrapped around his vods. You paid them both little mind as you rounded the stairs and stepped through the door marked private. Hunter tried to wave down Crosshair and ask what the hell was going on but the man seemed just as lost as he was. The door shut with a gentle swoosh leaving Hunter and Echo to ponder what the hell they’d just seen.
Crosshair looked around your small apartment in surprise. He was in your private space right now. The space that no one was supposed to see besides your friends. What did that make him? He’d only known you for two weeks and you’d barely spoken to each other. You walked into a side room and pulled him in behind you. The bed made it clear that this was your bedroom. It smelled of flowers and fresh linen while your bed looked incredibly comfortable and inviting.
Finally, you stopped and motioned to your bed. “Please, get comfortable.”
“But it-“ you raised your hand to him quickly and shook your head.
“Your bedding needs to be washed. None of the other rooms are set up for guests right now. So the obvious choice was for you to use mine.” Stepping over to the bed, you pulled down the white floral print duvet and matching sheet before motioning for him to get in. “Don’t worry, I won’t watch you sleep.”
“I didn’t think you would.” Maybe he did a little but you’d never know that. He walked over to your bed and carefully sat down on it. It was so soft and comfortable.
“Oh, he’s snappy.” You winked at him while walking back around the bed and towards the door. “I like that.” You stood in the doorway and watched as he laid down and got comfortable. “Refresher is over to the left and there’s a pitcher of fresh water on the bedside table. Get some rest and I’ll see you at dinner.”
“Why are you doing all of this?” He asked as he rested his head against your soft pillow. Now this was a nice bed.
“Because we all need a little help sometimes.” Whether it was getting out of a rut or seeing the bad that others already could see. “Sweet dreams, Crosshair.”
He turned his head and watched as you stepped out of the room. “Thanks” came as a whisper that only he could hear.
Crosshair lay in the bed for what felt like an eternity, sleep eluding him for the time being. His mind raced over the events of the morning so far. First, he’d sat with you outside, then he’d met Chai and sat with her, you’d actually fed him and now he was lying in your very large bed. How had he gone from the sad darkness of his room to the light happiness of yours? He looked around from the warmth of the bed and picked up on a few things. You kept a datapad that was designed for reading next to your bed as well as a box of tissues. Your balcony led to the garden where the smell of flowers was coming from and your closet could be seen from the bed. There was, in fact, a large amount of sundresses within. There were also a few trophies on your wall surrounding a vanity with a large mirror that was directly across from the bed. It was a nice room. The scent of your perfume hung on the pillow pulling him from his thoughts and finally, after countless sleepless nights and an hour of laying in your bed, he fell into a deep sleep.
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#fanfic update#bad batch crosshair#the bad batch fic#crosshairs bad batch#tbb crosshair x you#tbb crosshair x reader#tbb crosshair#the bad batch crosshair#crosshair x reader#Spotify#SoundCloud
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hi! it's me again 🦄 i was just listening to lost in the fire by the weeknd and i couldn't help thinking about billy hargrove. so if it gives you inspiration or you want to write something about it i won't be mad 🫶🏻
You're the only one I got my sights on
summary Billy has always been known to never be with a girl for more than one night. When whatever it was between you and him evolves into more he reassures you he only wants you - no matter his reputation.
word count 1342
tags swearing, Billy being soft, he's scareddd but doesn't wanna admit
a/n Uhm, hi..! I disappeared for like 4 months lol. Hello to everyone that's still here <3 so, @descendiente-de-la-luna I know you requested this tons of months ago, and I'm SO SORRY. I always thought the song was more about sex but I read the lyrics more thoroughly today and realized that they actually fit with Billy!!! So, thank you for this genius request and I'm super sorry it took me so long. I hope you enjoy this at least 💓
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You sighed, Heather kept repeating herself. Ever since you started your… thing with Billy she's been going on and on about how he isn't good for you because he's an asshole and because he will leave you soon.
You guessed she had reasoning to think so; after all that's exactly what he wanted everyone to see and think. He wanted to show that he could have anyone, so why would he settle for only one person?
All that may have been true, but then you came along. Sure, you guessed it was a little cliché: the bad boy falling for someone like you. Someone like you, that wasn't popular, neither disliked but at the same time no one really knew you.
"Heather," you interrupt and she stops with her rant, eyes locking on you. "What's between him and me stays between just him and me. Stop telling me what to do, it's none of your business." You weren't even really friends, you both worked at the pool and your shifts overlapped. That ended with you talking, though it was usually more of a one-sided conversation for her.
You liked the peace and quiet this job would have usually brought. The kids coming here we're either intimidated by you or generally didn't care enough to cause trouble. At first your shifts were shared with Billy.
You caught his attention when he came here the first time to see you tell off some kid because he kept running along the edges of the pool. To him, it was hilarious. The boy had probably almost wet himself from fear and embarrassment, just for you to go back to your magazine with an annoyed sigh immediately after.
He'd tried flirting with you after, making his usual crude comments and flirty remarks. But you didn't give him the reaction he wanted. You either ignored him or only answered shortly or insulted him.
But even then, it wasn't long until you slept together the first time. Two months after seeing each other almost every day your resolve broke and you slept with him after closing the pool up together. It had been a long and tiring day and when he offered you gave in.
It was probably the best lay you've had, though you'd never tell him. After that you got reassigned with Heather which you thought would be the end of your and Billy's acquaintance.
He proved differently when he came every evening to pick you up in his car after your shifts.
It made you feel more than what you usually felt; instead of dreading his presence because of the annoying flirting you anticipated it.
The car rides were filled with his loud music and at least one near accident because of his speeding. Sometimes you talked but most of the time he let you nap as he drove you home, the way to your house ingrained into his memories.
You started thanking him with cheek kisses three weeks in and he made poor attempts to cover up the blush on his cheeks. It was cute and you were falling for it. Falling for him and all of his harsh persona.
"That's right, piss off," someone drawls from behind you and seconds later an arm wraps around your hips loosely. Heather pales and leaves quickly, making you sigh in relief.
"Thanks, she's been on my ass about us for days." Billy chuckles and flicks his cigarette away, mindful of your distaste concerning his habit. "Yeah? What's this 'us'?" There's a smirk on his face and you wrap your arms around his neck with a matching one. "I don't know. You tell me?"
He laughs breathily and rests his head against your shoulder putting well-placed kisses on your neck. You sigh and let your head fall back, enjoying his gentle teasing. This either meant he was in a good mood or he just wanted to sleep with you.
You guessed the second when he cups your cheek with his big hand and looks up. "Let me stay at yours tonight, babygirl." He huskily demands - though there's question in his eyes as well.
You pretend to dwell over it but nod ultimately and drop your hands to play with the hair at the base of his neck, the curls damp with some sweat. "You're lucky you're cute."
He laughs cheekily and winks, "I'll make it worth your time?" He smirks and you laugh, hitting his chest weakly and stepping back. "Help me close this up and I'll think about it."
-
When you're home later he's laying next to you, jeans discarded and leaving him in his underwear and muscle shirt.
There was a lollipop between his lips; courtesy of your strict rule against smoking whenever he was close to you. He had to busy himself otherwise, so this was your solution.
You were snoozing against his shoulder, hair pulled away from your face and neck because it was so unbearably hot. Your window was open and left some of the cooler night air in, causing a pleasant shiver when you wake up.
"You up, sleeping beauty?" He jokes and rubs his thumb over your hip bone, his arm once again around your waist.
Scoffing you yawn and stretch, your shirt riding up a little and revealing a sliver of your stomach. Alone that sight nearly made him feral, the influence you had on him was abnormal.
You lean your head against the wall behind you and sigh again, closing your eyes. "What's on your mind, pretty?" He asks, genuine concern hidden beneath his flirtatious tone.
You decide to leave your eyes closed and take his hand in yours, playing with it to distract yourself. "It's, uh… it's about whatever this," you lift your head and open your eyes gesturing between you and him with your other hand, "is. I- Jesus, you're gonna leave me for this." You chuckle sadly and move away a little, letting his hand fall back into his lap, rubbing both of yours up and down your face.
"Don't think anything is gonna make me leave you. I'm already wasting that much gas on you, as long as you haven't been fucking someone behind my back you won't get rid of me now that I have you, sweetheart." It was jokingly said but he was serious at the same time, hand back on your thigh.
"No, don't- you're making this really hard, y'know?" He grins lazily and cocks his head to the side, looking irresistibly cute with his eyes trained onto yours, waiting for you to explain.
"I…" you're trailing off, nervousness seeping off of you in waves. He calls your name and reaches to lift your head up with a hand on your chin, "I'm serious, just tell me. I promise I won't react badly."
He holds up a hand and stretches out his pinky, "What's that thing you taught me? The special promise thing?" He asks curiously and you chuckle weakly, "Pinky promise." He nods and wraps his pinky around yours, making you giggle.
"Alright, now tell me."
"Uhm, I like you. I know that's not why you're spending time with me and stuff, but I want more. I want to hold your hand and I want to go on actual dates. I want to-"
"-be a couple?" He finishes for you. You gulp and nod hesitantly. He sighs and silence stretches over you for at least a minute until he speaks up. "I'm really bad at this. You know my whole thing is not sticking with someone. I'm not good at commitment. But… I'm ready to try for you. I wouldn't have spent this much time on you if I wouldn't see myself taking you on dates, darling."
You don't really believe him so he assures you again, "Be mine. Be my girlfriend," he pulls you on top of his thighs and with a dreamy grin you lean in to kiss him, enjoying the closeness of your new found boyfriend.
"So, boyfriend. Wanna get your reward for helping me close up the pool?"
#stranger things#stranger things 4#stranger things imagine#stranger things x reader#billy hargrove x reader#billy hargrove#dacre montgomery#dacre montgomery x reader
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Regressor! Alejandro w/ Caregiver! Heather
(In case this is confusing, this takes place after the first episode of All Stars but before the second episode.)
“Hold still, sweetheart.” Heather spoke with a soft and gentle tone while attempting to brush out Alejandro’s hair. His hair was a mess, it was all knotted and gross from not being able to take care of it for over a year.
It wasn’t Alejandro’s fault. He wanted to take care of his hair, he loved taking care of his hair. But that was impossible to do when he was stuck in that robot suit. He couldn’t do anything in it.
Alejandro hiccuped, tears running down his cheeks as Heather tried her best to fix his hair. Every time she brushed it out, it hurt. He wanted her to stop, but at the same time he wanted to just get it over with. He wanted his hair back to the way it was.
“Ow!” Alejandro yelped when Heather accidentally pulled a little too hard on one of the knots. “I’m sorry, angel. Mama’s trying to be as gentle as possible.” Heather said, rubbing his shoulder a bit.
“We’re almost done, I promise. There’s just a couple more I have to brush out, then we can get you in a bath.” Heather told him, though Alejandro only whined in response while tiredly rubbing his eyes.
Heather had been working on his hair and helping him out with some other things since they first arrived in the spa hotel. That was about nine hours ago. So yeah, both of them were tired, but Alejandro especially. Poor boy hadn’t slept in a real bed and gotten a good nights sleep in forever.
After another twenty or thirty minutes, Heather had finally finished up with Alejandro’s hair. Still, it wasn’t perfect, but there was a huge difference.
“You did so good, Alejandro. Mama’s so proud.” Heather cooed at the mentally younger boy. Alejandro didn’t really give much of a response, besides a bit of fussing.
“I know, baby. Maybe we should go to bed now and wait until tomorrow to have a bath. How does that sound?” Alejandro nodded in agreement, before reaching out for Heather to pick him up.
Heather let out a small sigh, but picked him. It was a bit difficult for Heather to hold and carry Alejandro around, he was taller than her and weighed more, but she could handle holding him for a couple of minutes.
Heather carried Alejandro out of the bathroom and into the small living room like area. She knew Alejandro wasn’t going to want to sleep without her. Though, she couldn’t sleep with him in the boys room and he couldn’t sleep with her in the girls room, so the living room was the only option.
“Baby, I’m going to go grab something. Can you wait right here for me?” Heather asked, setting Alejandro down on the couch. He mumbled out something that Heather couldn’t understand and reached out for her again.
“Alejandro, Mama will be so quick. You can wait one minute, I know you can.” Heather said. Alejandro stared up at her, new tears forming in his eyes.
“Shh, it’s okay, pumpkin. Don’t cry.” Heather spoke softly. “Just stay here and I’ll be right back.” Heather gave Alejandro a kiss on his forehead, before quickly going to go get what she needed.
The whole time Heather was gone, Alejandro was a whimpering mess. He did his best to not cry for her, since he didn’t want to wake anyone up. But it was hard for him to not sob out for her.
Though, just like she said, Heather was only gone for a minute. She came back out with her hands behind her back.
“I’m back, sweetie. Mama’s right here.” Heather smiled a little as she sat beside Alejandro. He sniffled, looking at her curiously. Alejandro knew she had something in her hands, he just didn’t know what.
“After..y’know everything that happened. I decided to keep all of your things safe with me. I brought them back with me this season in case I saw you again.” Heather paused, and showed Alejandro what she had in her hands. For the first time today, Alejandro showed genuine happiness as his eyes practically lit up.
“I saw that you had your little gear with you as well, and I figured you’d want your stuffie to join you for bedtime.” Heather gave Alejandro his little lion plushie, which he immediately hugged tightly as he started to cry again. Though, he wasn’t sad. He was just really grateful and happy.
“Mama..” Alejandro mumbled, before latching onto Heather’s waist. Alejandro was super little tonight and couldn’t really say much, but Heather knew that was his little way of saying “Thank you”.
Heather smiled as she rubbed his back. “I also brought out your paci, too. In case you wanted it as well.” Heather said. Alejandro looked at her and nodded, opening his mouth a little. Heather giggled slightly as she placed the soother in his mouth.
“Try and get some sleep now, okay? Mama will be right here when you wake up.” Heather whispered to him as she went back to rubbing his back. Alejandro let out a small noise, making himself comfortable on Heather’s lap, before closing his eyes while Heather put a blanket over the two of them.
It hadn’t even been five minutes, before both of them had drifted asleep.
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Safe (Phayu/Rain Fanfic)
Title: Safe
Summary: "Rain," Phayu demands, switching to that tone he uses when they scene, the hard, demanding one that makes Rain ache inside, and Rain shudders, the tears forcing themselves past Rain's eyes. "Talk to me, baby. Be a good boy and tell Daddy what's wrong,” he says sternly.
Rain whimpers. It’s that tone, the good boy, the reassurance that Phayu wants Rain to tell him that breaks Rain’s resolve. How can he not, when Phayu talks to him like this? How can he not, when Phayu is being Daddy right now. The comfort overwhelms the desire to stay quiet, and Rain gives in.
"Red," he gasps, a sob wrenching past his throat. His body feels like it's on fire as he squirms under Phayu, finally giving in to the need to get away.
Tags: Safe Word Use; non-sexual safeword use; not a scene but technically a scene; its okay to safeword anytime; Hurt/Comfort; Sensory Deprivation; Sensory Overload; rain is not okay but phayu knows how to take care of him; Trust; trust building
(Ao3 Link)
Notes: I've had this fic idea in my head for a while. I could just imagine Phayu would be very good at after care and knowing what to do when his sub safe words, so I wrote it <3
I cannot express all of my love and gratitude to everyone who helped me with this. Thank you to the discord for all of their support, to Khashana for beta'ing the original draft and helping to kick start my brain into solving the ending problem, and of course to imnotinclinedtomaturity for helping beta the final draft, and honestly kicking my ass. You always make me so much better.
--
It's been a bad day.
Rain's brain has been on overdrive since he went to bed last night. He hadn't slept well, waking up more times than he could count and never really managing to fall into deep sleep. His thoughts had been chaotic even in his dreams, and he'd woken up feeling like he hadn't slept at all.
He hadn't been able to focus in class all day either, instead tapping his pen against his desk erratically every few minutes until he caught himself and made himself stop, only to start up again moments later. Sky kept sending him irritated looks, but his touch was sympathetic the few times he reached out in an attempt to ground Rain.
By mid-afternoon, Rain's brain was a mix of muddled exhaustion and wired energy, making him even more restless. He could hear everything, and it grated against his nerves. His skin felt tight, unreal and unmanageable, until Rain wanted to rip it off of himself. He knows that by the time he gets home, he won’t have it in him to work on any of his assignments, but that he also won’t be able to rest with the weight of due dates hanging over his head.
He's nearly in tears by the time he climbs into his car at the end of the day, and can't remember the drive to Phayu's house, but the next thing he's aware of, he’s face down on their bed with Phayu sitting down next to him, a soothing hand rubbing circles into the small of his back.
"What's wrong, good boy?" Phayu murmurs softly, voice low.
Normally, Phayu's voice works as a soothing balm to Rain's frantic mind, but today the quiet timber just adds to the overwhelming noise in his head.
Rain whines in response, unable to manage words.
Humming, Phayu shifts on the bed, swinging a leg over Rain's back until he's straddling him, and gets to work massaging Rain's shoulders without a word. Rain wants so badly to melt into the touch, but he can't, and he doesn't know how to tell Phayu that his touch — any touch — hurts today. So instead, he keeps his mouth shut.
Phayu is doing him a favor, after all, something sweet that he doesn't often do outside of a scene, and even then, usually only after he's worked Rain hard. Rain should be appreciating the effort, whether it's helping or not, rather than complaining and asking Phayu to stop.
"You're so tense," Phayu murmurs, his voice still low, and digs the palms of his hands into Rain's shoulders harder, in a way that on a different day would probably melt the tension right out of Rain’s muscles. Rain lets out a groan, but it isn't from pleasure, and he's glad that he's laying face down when he grimaces into the pillow.
"My darling must have had a hard day," Phayu continues, leaning in close and whispering the words into Rain's ear. Rain shivers, and tenses even more, even as he tries to will his body to go pliant. "Let Phi take care of you now," he says, and presses a kiss to the sensitive spot behind Rain's ear. The spot normally sends sparks down his spine, but today it does nothing but make Rain feel on fire, and not in a good way.
Phayu's hands shift lower, still pressing hard into sore muscle, until he reaches the hem of Rain's shirt and pushes it up. His hands are cold to the touch on Rain's bare skin, clammy and not at all relaxing. Rain grits his teeth, willing himself to breathe through the sensation.
"Phi…" he mumbles, biting his lip the moment the word passes his lips. He can feel his safe word pressing against the back of his teeth, aching to get out, but he doesn't want to say it. He's never said it before, and besides, they aren't even sceneing. Safe words have no business in everyday life, after all. Rain doesn't know a lot about BDSM yet, but he knows that much at least.
He should ask Phayu to stop. He knows he should, but he doesn't want to disappoint him, especially not when Phayu is being sweet on him. Besides, it’s not that Rain doesn’t want Phayu’s sweetness, it just hurts right now, when Rain can’t so much as handle the lightest of touches. So Rain lays under Phayu and tries to take it.
The massage continues for a few moments more before Phayu shifts up and reaches for the bedside drawer where they keep some of their toys. Rain flinches at the sound of the drawer opening, something that Phayu doesn't miss.
"Rain?" Phayu asks, obviously concerned, but Rain just shakes his head and slowly unclenches his muscles. Phayu places his palm softly against Rain's side and waits a long moment. "Rain," he repeats again, more firmly this time. "Use your words. What's wrong?" he asks, his tone one of admonishment and command.
Rain whimpers. "Nothing," he croaks out, willing himself to sound calm, but even he can hear that his voice is shaking. He feels tears pricking at the back of his eyes, feels a lump forming in his throat, and holds his breath.
"Rain," Phayu demands, switching to that tone he uses when they scene, the hard, demanding one that makes Rain ache inside, and Rain shudders, the tears forcing themselves past Rain's eyes. "Talk to me, baby. Be a good boy and tell Daddy what's wrong,” he says sternly.
Rain whimpers. It’s that tone, the good boy, the reassurance that Phayu wants Rain to tell him that breaks Rain’s resolve. How can he not, when Phayu talks to him like this? How can he not, when Phayu is being Daddy right now. The comfort overwhelms the desire to stay quiet, and Rain gives in.
"Red," he gasps, a sob wrenching past his throat. His body feels like it's on fire as he squirms under Phayu, finally giving in to the need to get away.
Instantly, Phayu swings himself off of Rain, and climbs off of the bed. Rain feels blessed relief as Phayu's weight disappears, which only makes him cry harder because he's never wanted to be away from Phayu before. Phayu grounds him in his worst moments, but not today. Today, Rain feels like he's going to vibrate out of his skin if anyone touches him again.
Rain curls into himself the moment he's free, rolling onto his side and tucking his knees up into his chest until he’s as small as he can make himself. He wants to disappear as the sobs choke his throat, wants to erase this entire day, wants to go back in time and stop himself from spitting out “red”. he doesn’t want to disappoint Phayu. He wants to want Phayu on top of him, but he can’t. He just can’t, and it’s the worst feeling in the world.
Rain expects Phayu to admonish him, maybe tell him off for using his safeword outside of a scene, but that’s not what happens. Instead, Phayu says “Good boy, using your words for me.” He sounds strong and sure of himself, in control the way that Rain is not right now, and for the first time all day, Rain starts to feel soothed.
He whines at the praise, a mix of happy and confused, but his tears flow faster and he hiccups out a breath rather than respond. The inability to speak sparks more anxiety inside of Rain, and he squirms on the bed, terrified that Phayu will get mad at him after all.
He doesn’t.
“Can you be a little more specific for me, darling? Can you tell me what’s hurting the most?” Phayu asks instead, calm and most importantly — not touching Rain. Somehow, Phayu seems to instinctively know that touching Rain was the trigger, the way that Phayu always seems to know what's going on inside of Rain’s head, even before Rain knows it himself.
But when Rain tries to open his mouth to tell Phayu what hurts… he can’t.
He shakes his head.
“Okay,” Phayu acknowledges, and it doesn’t sound like a reprimand. He doesn’t press for more either, which Rain is grateful for, and for a long moment, Phayu doesn’t say anything else. Rain’s breathing is loud in his own ears, quiet sobs still escaping his lips as he tries to get himself back under control, but it feels impossible. Rain’s entire body is lit up in all the wrong ways, and despite Phayu’s calmness, there’s still fear sitting in the pit of Rain’s stomach that he’s done something wrong.
Gentle pressure on his knee startles Rain enough that he gasps, and he flings himself away from the touch as if he’d been burned. Over the sound of his own breathing, Rain manages to make out Phayu shushing him softly. “I know baby. You’re overwhelmed right now, aren’t you,” he says, and it isn’t a question. “I’m going to have to touch you a little bit to help you though, so I need you to trust me, okay, baby?” he says, and this time it is a question.
Shuddering at the thought of being touched, Rain almost shakes his head no, but then Phayu’s words catch up with him — trust and help and baby?. Rain feels relief swarm through him at the sheer knowledge of being known. Of being understood, even without words. And he does trust Phayu, more than he trusts anyone else in the world, even himself, so he nods his head instead.
Phayu hums. “Good boy,” he says sweetly. “I know that was hard, and I am so, so proud of you. I’m going to roll you over onto your back now, and then we’re going to settle down and I’m going to make you feel better.” The total confidence in Phayu’s voice works like a balm, and he finally starts to settle. He feels his body relaxing automatically, so attuned to Phayu and that specific tone of his that he just can’t resist.
Phayu makes a sound of satisfaction at the way Rain’s body has surrendered, and touches Rain’s knee again, this time more firmly and with purpose. Phayu grips Rain’s knee, and leads his body into a prone position on Rain’s back with the least amount of touch possible, and Rain is so incredibly grateful for it. His body follows Phayu’s direction without hesitation, and Rain feels his breathing start to slow down, just from that simple action.
His eyes are squeezed shut, and have been since he started crying, so it comes as a surprise when something heavy settles over Rain’s body. He inhales sharply on an aborted hiccup, and opens his eyes. Phayu is hovering over him, tucking a blanket in around Rain’s body with a look of absolute concentration on his face, and Rain realizes belatedly that it’s their weighted blanket. Instantly, he feels safer, his body relaxing further into the bed as the weight and warmth of the blanket seeps into his bones. While every other touch today has felt like nails against his skin, this feels like safety, and Rain feels soothed.
“Phi…” he mumbles, his voice coming out all stuffed up as he lets his eyes drift back shut. He wants to cry with how good this feels, and it’s easy to do when he hasn’t stopped crying from earlier, so he just lets himself go. The sobs are thankfully quieter now; less filled with fear, moreso of relief. It feels good to let go of the tension he’s been holding all day.
Rain doesn’t know why he hadn’t thought of the weighted blanket, but that’s what he has Phayu for, and he’s so eternally grateful as the blanket seems to settle right into his bones.
“Lift your head,” Phayu commands after another moment, and Rain does so without hesitation. Something soft settles against Rain’s eyes, the familiar presence of a blindfold, and Phayu ties it firmly against the back of Rain’s head. Rain lets his head drop uselessly the moment Phayu is done, and realizes that the white noise in the back of his head has started to recede. He lets out a shuddery breath, his eyes relaxing, and calms.
“There we go,” Phayu murmurs in satisfaction. That tone of voice is usually followed by the gentle sweep of Phayu’s hand against Rain’s cheek, or along his bottom lip, but Phayu doesn’t touch him this time, and Rain is so, so grateful.
“Last thing,” Phayu says after a moment, his voice low, so so low, and then the soft clasp of noise-canceling headphones presses against Rain’s ear.
The world goes silent, and Rain lets out a long, shuddery sigh. His body goes lax as his mind goes quiet, and he just drifts. For a long, long time, Rain just drifts. He can feel that he’s crying, tears leaking down his face from relief, but eventually that stops as well, and Rain is left with nothing but the peace of being calmed.
Rain should have known Phayu would know exactly what to do to help settle him. They’ve done similar things before with the headphones, something Phayu experimented with the first time Rain got overwhelmed with him – albeit in a different way. The blindfold usually works to amplify Rain’s feelings, but somehow Phayu knew that tonight it was going to help to reduce the sensations running rampant through Rain’s body. And the weighted blanket was so, so perfect.
Rain feels so good laying there, senses completely cut off, that he doesn’t want to leave the safety of this wonderful bubble. Rain doesn’t know how long he sits in total silence — the room dark around his eyes, and his body weighed down — before he finally starts to feel more like himself, but when he does, he finds it in himself to stretch lazily under the blanket.
He’s tucked in securely enough that Rain knows it will be difficult to unwind himself in the state he’s in, so he whines softly instead. He knows, deep in his bones, that Phayu is nearby. He wouldn’t leave Rain in a state like this on his own.
His trust is proven correct when a firm touch lands on his knee, and squeezes in what is obviously a question.
“Green,” Rain whispers on instinct, turning his head in the direction he thinks Phayu is and smiling lazily. He can’t hear it, but he imagines Phayu is chuckling indulgently at him, and it makes Rain squirm happily.
There’s another squeeze on his knee, and then the weight of the blanket starts to shift off of Rain’s body. He misses it in a distant part of his brain, but he’s also pleased to be able to move freely again when the blanket fully peels away from him, so he rolls over in search of the warmth of Phayu’s body. He misses Phayu’s touch, now that he’s calm, and he craves it deep within his soul.
Phayu’s hands find Rain’s shoulder, and he helps to urge Rain into more of a sitting position, re-shuffling them until he can press himself to Rain’s body, like he knows exactly what Rian had been looking for. Rain is confident that he did.
The blindfold comes off next, slowly but surely, until Rain is blinking into the dim lighting of the bedroom. It takes a long moment for his eyes to adjust to being able to see again, but when they do, the first thing Rain sees is Phayu leaning over him, eyes dark and warm, lips curved in a pleased smile.
Warmth courses through Rain’s body. He can’t quite grasp why he was worried earlier, but a hidden nugget of anxiety has been soothed by the look on Phayu’s face. He chooses not to fixate on it, instead reaching up to curl his fingers into Phayu’s shirt, just to anchor himself. Phayu’s mouth opens with an unheard laugh.
Phayu’s hands find the headphones next, but he doesn’t remove them immediately the way he had the blindfold. Instead, he taps on them lightly, another question. Rain nods, ready to be back in the real world, ready to curl up with his Phayu, and drift that way instead.
He wants to be touched, so unlike earlier, wants the reassurances that Phayu is with him and that – that –
Oh god. Rain safeworded earlier. He’d safeworded.
Anxiety slams full force into him, and he feels his eyes go wide as Phayu removes the headphones. Rain can feel his heart starting to beat faster, and some of that sense of calmness beginning to leave him at the idea of Phayu being mad, of being disappointed. He squeezes his fingers a little together in Phayu’s shirt, and stares up at him cautiously, the noise of the normal world just beginning to filter back into his head.
But Phayu just looks calm, not upset, or disappointed, as he stares back at Rain. Rain feels himself settle a little bit at that.
Phayu isn’t one to hide how he’s feeling. Phayu is always upfront with Rain. Phayu will tell him if something is wrong, he knows it.
“Hey, my good boy,” Phayu murmurs, leaning in close to nuzzle at Rain’s nose. Rain preens under the praise, and lets out a soft sigh. Yes, he’s still a good boy. Phayu’s good boy. He always wants to be Phayu’s good boy.
“I’m so proud of you today, darling. You did so well,” Phayu murmurs, breath hot against Rain’s face. Rain wiggles in pleasure, pleased that he did good. Yes, he’d safeworded today, outside of a scene no less, but Phayu doesn’t seem mad at him. Rain feels like the luckiest boy in the world.
It feels good to have Phayu near again, feels good to not want to rip his skin from his body. It feels good to know that Phayu isn’t going to yell at him, that Rain didn’t completely fuck up. It feels so good that Rain pulls on Phayu’s shirt, welcoming it when Phayu seems to pick up on what Rain is looking for and drapes his entire body over Rain’s. The sensation is similar to the blanket, but so much better now because it’s Phayu.
Phayu wraps his arms around Rain, and shifts them around until they’re settled more comfortably, with Rain still pressed underneath Phayu’s body but their limbs more settled against each other. The movement forces Rain to let go of Phayu’s shirt, but it’s okay now because Phayu is surrounding him completely, his scent in Rain’s nose, and his touch grounding.
“Better?” Phayu asks him, indulgent. Rain nods against his shoulder. He feels safe and secure in Phayu’s arms. “Good,” Phayu murmurs close to Rain’s ear, and leaves a kiss there. It lights Rain up on the inside, and he snuggles in closer to Phayu, wishing he’d do it again.
Phayu doesn’t kiss him again, but he does rub a soothing hand up and down Rain’s arm, and he does breathe quietly into the crook of Rain’s neck, a reassuring presence that reminds him Phayu isn’t going anywhere.
They sit in silence for a long time. Rain doesn’t need the silence anymore, but he’s basking in Phayu’s affection and doesn’t feel like he needs to say anything. His mouth feels a little bit cottony still from earlier anyway, so words wouldn’t come easily even if he tried.
Eventually, however, Phayu shifts slightly, moving so that he can look more clearly at Rain’s face, and Rain tenses at his expression. He looks serious now, somber almost, and Rain feels terror crash into him.
Is this it? Is this the moment that Phayu tells Rain that he screwed up, that he used his safe word wrong? Or that Phayu really is disappointed in him, and doesn’t understand why Rain would safeword at all?
“Shh, sweet boy,” Phayu murmurs, immediately recognizing the way Rain has tensed up, and reaching out to stroke Rain’s cheek. “You’re okay,” he says firmly. “But I’d like to talk about today.” Rain knows without Phayu even having to say it that it’s important they do, knows that if they don’t talk about it now, Rain won’t be able to think of anything else until they do, so Rain sags against Phayu’s body and nods his head, willing himself not to start crying again.
Phayu sits up, pulling Rain along with him before settling Rain into his lap so that they’re facing each other. Ran can’t quite manage to make himself look Phayu in the eye, though, so he stares at his hands instead, where he clasped them on Phayu’s shoulder when he moved them.
Phayu makes a noise of displeasure. “Look at me, baby boy,” he murmurs, but his voice carries command, so Rain does. Phayu’s eyes are soft as he asks “Are you afraid?”
Slowly, Rain nods his head.
“What are you afraid of?” Phayu asks patiently, but there’s something in his eyes that tells Rain he already knows. Rain wants to call him out on playing games, wants to pout and whine and beg Phayu not to make him say, but he knows from experience that that won’t work, so instead he swallows thickly and tries to make his voice work.
“I safeworded,” Rain eventually whispers.
Phayu nods. “You did,” he agrees patiently.
Rain swallows again. He should have known Phayu wasn’t going to let him off that easily. His fingers tighten against Phayu’s shoulders as he tries to force himself to say more. “But we weren’t scening,” he adds slowly, bottom lip starting to quiver. “And – and – you were doing something nice for me,” he manages to get out around the lump forming in his throat. His eyes sting with unshed tears, and he feels horrible, saying the words out loud.
Phayu seems to understand this, because he rests one of his hands on Rain’s waist, and reaches up to cup Rain’s face. His expression is gentle as he asks, “But why are you afraid, my darling boy?”
A sob wrenches its way past Rain’s throat at the term of endearment, and he lets out a pitiful little moan as he tries to get himself under control. “P’Phayu,” he cries, “I don’t want to disah-disapoint you!” he gasps, and tries to hide his face, but Phayu’s grip on him doesn’t allow for it, and Rain only cries harder. “Please don’t be disappointed,” he gasps around another little sob. “Please don’t be disappointed in Rain!”
Rain thought he’d run out of tears, but as he grips at Phayu’s shirt, he feels the sobs keep rising up in his throat.
Phayu’s touch on his face tightens as his thumb shifts to wipe away Rain’s tears. Phayu’s other hand rubs soothing circles into Rain’s hip as he sighs and leans in close. His forehead finds Rain’s, and he rubs them together gently. “Phi isn’t disappointed,” he murmurs very seriously. “Phi could never be disappointed in Rain for using his safeword,” he continues firmly, and tilts Rain’s head just enough for their eyes to meet.
There’s no mistaking the sincerity in his gaze. It makes Rain’s chest tremble with trust, but the fear sits heavy there anyway, and Rain doesn’t know how to make it go away. His bottom lip trembles as he gasps out another little cry.
“But – but –” Rain gasps. “We weren’t even doing anything,” Rain manages to get out, hiccuping at the end.
“Rain,” Phayu hushes him, stroking his cheek and wiping more tears away with his thumb. “I need you to listen to me now, okay?” he urges Rain. Rain does his best to nod, vision going blurry from tears.
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Phayu explains soothingly. Rain starts to cry harder still, so Phayu releases Rain’s hip to instead cup both cheeks in his hands and wipe away his tears. “You were so good, Rain, telling me that you weren’t okay. You did everything exactly right,” he reiterates. For the briefest of moments, Phayu pulls back to press a kiss to Rain’s forehead, and then he’s back, foreheads pressed together, his eyes warm and sincere.
“Phi,” Rain whines. “Shh,” Phayu hushes him instantly. “All you have to do is listen. Can you do that for me, sweet boy?” Phayu asks. Still feeling completely unmoored, and more than a little bit confused, all Rain can do is nod.
“I think maybe I made a few assumptions about your understanding of safe words, and I shouldn’t have,” Phayu admits apologetically. “The most important thing I can ever teach you about safe words is that they’re made to be used.”
There is no question in Phayu’s tone, no hesitation or uncertainty that Rain can latch onto. He stares at Phayu with wide, confused eyes as he tries to understand what that means.
Rain doesn’t understand. He thought safe words were only meant for the most extreme of circumstances – for when Rain couldn’t take it anymore, and he needed Phayu to stop. He’d thought safe words were for bad doms who didn’t know what they were doing, not for doms like Phayu.
Phayu smiles at him, eyes soft, and presses one thumb to Rain’s bottom lip, smoothing over it gently. Rain shivers at the touch, and the sobs fighting to get out finally start to calm down.
“Safe words are about articulating that something is wrong in a quick and efficient way,” Phayu continues, his voice taking on the tone of a teacher. It’s familiar, and soothing, and Rain only hiccups one more time before he starts to calm. “Scening is all about communication, Rain. You tell me how you’re feeling all the time – in the way you move, in the way you touch me, in the words you say. But nothing is more effective a communication tool than using your safe word when you aren’t sure how to tell me what you need,” Phayu explains.
Rain’s brow furrows.
“But… we weren’t scening,” he protests quietly, his voice hoarse. Phayu nods, and reaches up to nestle one hand in Rain’s hair, rubbing it gently.
“No, we weren’t,” Phayu agrees. “But that’s the beauty of safe words, Rain. You can use them anywhere, anytime, for any reason, and I’ll understand that you don’t know how else to tell me that something isn’t working for you.”
Rain sits with that for a long moment. Phayu has always been so good at knowing exactly what Rain needs, exactly what he wants, and where to touch to make Rain feel so, so good. Rain hadn’t really thought about the fact that he’d been doing something special to give that information away. Phayu had always just seemed to know.
“But,” Rain starts, hesitating as he contemplates what Phayu is saying. He bites his bottom lip, and Phayu automatically reaches up with his thumb to pull it free.
“But?” Phayu repeats.
“But if safe wording means stop… and I told you to stop, today… and you did,” Rain says, trying to make the words make sense in his head. “It’s not that I don’t want you to never give me a massage again,” Rain eventually manages, pouting. Phayu smiles, and tussles his hair again.
"Oh, I know. We both know how much you love it when I take care of you," Phayu teases with his shark grin. Rain whines, and pulls back to slap Phayu on the shoulder, embarrassed. Phayu laughs, and finally releases Rain's face to instead wrap his arms around Rain's waist and haul him in, until their chests are fully flush and their noses are touching.
Rain's heart does a little flip.
Phayu’s smile slips away easily, replaced with a much more focused, serious look. “You know how I told you we needed to talk about today?” Phayu asks him, drawing both of their attention back to the matter at hand.
Rain nods his head.
“Anytime you safe word, we’ll talk about it afterwards. Could be immediately afterwards, or once we’ve got you settled down, or once we’ve got you somewhere safe, but we will talk about it,” Phayu stresses. “First and foremost, your safe word is about communication. Just because something wasn’t working today, doesn’t mean it won’t work tomorrow, while other things might just not work ever. That’s why we’ll talk about it, so that we can both better understand what you need, whether that varies from moment to moment, or day to day.”
Rain nods his head contemplatively. The tears have all dried up, and his head hurts, but he knows this conversation is important. He’d spent so long cluelessly leading Phayu around blindly through his own desires, and Phayu had done such a good job, but Rain understands now that he can’t keep doing that. They can’t keep doing that.
Phayu is always telling Rain to use his words, but he’s not sure he ever really understood before now.
“So…” Rain trails off, tilting his head down to avoid Phayu’s eyes, and then stealing a peek up at him from under his eyelashes. “You’ll still give me massages?” Rain asks coyly.
And Phayu laughs, jerking Rain into him and pressing sniff kisses all over his face and head. “Yes, silly boy,” he teases. Rain smiles, and curls his head into the crook of Phayu’s neck.
There’s relief, then, and it’s… good. Rain finds himself finally able to relax into Phayu’s hold, and he sighs as he realizes just how worn out he really is.
“I’m sorry, Phi,” Rain says almost as an afterthought – almost an afterthought, because it’s not really, not when Rain can’t help feeling bad for misunderstanding things so badly all this time.
“For what?” Phayu asks him, pulling Rain away from his shoulder to look at him with confusion on his face.
“Not understanding safewords,” Rain mutters in embarrassment. Phayu frowns.
“No, Rain. You shouldn’t be sorry for something I should have explained better in the first place. That’s my responsibility,” he insists
Rain pouts, not happy with that answer. “Well,” he pushes, “I’m still sorry!” It feels like he should be sorry, when he’d caused this whole mess in the first place, but Phayu just frowns again, and shakes his head at him.
“Rain,” he warns, the low tenure of his voice a shock to Rain’s already exhausted system, and he perks up, eyes wide. “It was my mistake. Not yours,” he presses, and Rain relents.
“Okay,” he agrees softly.
Phayu smiles at him, pleased, and leans in to press his lips slowly to Rain’s. The touch is warm, so warm, and it makes Rain want nothing more than to melt.
“Good,” Phayu praises, the words like a purr. He nuzzles Rain’s nose one last time, and then starts to shift Rain out of his lap. “Come on, up we go,” Phayu directs him, standing the moment his lap is free and offering a hand for Rain to take. Rain does, enjoying the way Phayu pulls him up off the bed. Phayu’s hand is warm in his as he starts to lead him from the room. “Let's get you some aspirin and some water. You’re dehydrated,” he explains, and he sounds like Phayu again, his domineering boyfriend who likes to take care of him.
Rain follows Phayu easily, already thinking about how good the water will taste on his parched throat. He imagines Phayu will get him something sweet, too, because Phayu always gives Rain something sweet as aftercare, and it’s always made Rain feel so cared for.
“How about hot chocolate?” Rain wheedles sweetly.
Phayu doesn’t so much as look at him, but Rain can see the hint of a smile pulling at his lips.
“Water first,” he orders, and Rain just grins.
#phayurain#phayu x rain#lita fanfic#love in the air fanfic#phayu lita#rain lita#phayu love in the air#rain love in the air
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Love and War
Previous Chapter Masterlist
Synopsis: Bob Floyd never expected to fall in love during the war, especially not with a pretty, young nurse during basic training. But love works in funny ways and can their love stand the rest of time, the war and the distance that separates them. Warnings: mentions of graphic themes, war, injury, weapons, sexual images, language, 18+.
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Alabama, 1947
“Eugene? Honey, come on we’re going to be late.” (Y/n)’s voice echoed through the house as she hurriedly tried to fit everything into her bag. Her youngest son, Thomas, cradled to her chest as he babbled, grabbing fistfuls of her neatly curled hair. From down the corridor she heard a cacophony of laughter as Bob emerged with Eugene tucked under his arm as he tickled his son.
“There’s my boys. Come on, we've got to go, we've got a drive ahead of us.”
Bob nodded, placing little Eugene to the floor. He scrambled away running to his mother. The boy was the spitting image of his father, blonde hair slicked down, mischievous blue eyes, the same cheeky smile. (Y/n) handed Tommy over to Bob as she picked Eugene up, hurrying the little family out of the door and to the car.
The drive wasn’t too long, only three hours from Louisiana to Alabama but with a small baby and a three year old it wasn’t going to be boring.
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Pulling up the familiar drive, (Y/n) watched as Bob’s face turned into an immediate grin upon seeing Albert, with a similar smile on his face, appearing on the porch. Bob pulled the car to a halt, jumping out nearly before it had stopped. Albert hurried down the steps throwing his arms around Bob’s shoulder.
“I miss you,” Bob mumbled into Albert’s neck.
“I missed you too.”
Both men pulled away, clapping each other on the back before Bob turned to (Y/n), he stepped forward, taking Tommy from her arms so she could help Eugene out of his seat. When they both looked up Mary was hurrying down the steps, a small bundle nestled in her arms and Bonnie hot on her heels.
“It’s good to see you Mary.” Both women gave each other a small hug and a smile.
“Who’s this little guy?” Albert asked, peeking down at little Tommy who was wriggling in his blankets in Bob’s arms.
“This is Thomas,” Bob said quietly, gazing down at his son in adoration. Albert looked up quickly, a sharp intake of breath could be heard.
“After Jackson?” He asked, his voice slightly squeaky.
“Yeah, after Jackson.” Both men shared a knowing look, a look that could only be shared by two people who had been through absolute hell together. Everyone was quiet for a moment until Eugene started crying that Bonnie wouldn’t share her toys, causing all four parents to hurry the children inside in a desperate attempt to distract them. It worked and soon both children were playing happily while both baby Tommy and Mary and Albert’s son, Ronald, slept peacefully side by side.
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The morning quickly moved into the afternoon and then evening. The sun began to dip in the sky, casting a golden glow through the stained glass window in the kitchen.
Both women were occupied with the children so Bob and Albert took a moment's peace, sitting quietly on the porch swing. They sat in silence for a long while, a comfortable silence much like the ones they had shared on many nights through the war. They knew exactly what the other was thinking without even saying it, a silent conversation between their eyes.
Bob let out a deep sigh, running his hand through his blonde locks. They were getting a little long, hanging into his eyes sometimes, much longer than the army would ever have let him have it.
“I think of him, you know…Jackson. I think about him every day, every damn day,” Albert sighed, he inhaled his cigarette smoke deeply.
“He was a good kid.” Bob replied. He could feel his eyes becoming heavy, filling with unshed tears that caused them to glisten in the setting sun. Albert looked over at him, his own tears beginning to trickle down his cheeks.
“We did it, Bob,” Albert grinned tearfully. “We made it home.”
“Yeah…” Bob sniffed loudly, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. “Yeah we did.”
“We survived for him. We made it back just like we promised. We survived Bob.” Albert sobbed. Despite two years having passed since they had finally returned home to the States, they were never the same. The agony that they both felt at the thought of their fallen comrade, just a boy really. It was an agony that many felt, having created such a bond that could never be broken, having formed such friendships that would last a lifetime. A brotherhood.
Sitting on that porch in Alabama next to his friend Bob knew that he’d done good by his promise to Jackson. He’d made it and he was living his life to the fullest. He glanced over his shoulder, watching as his wife cradled baby Thomas close to her, her lips moving quietly as she sang to him. He loved her more than anything else in this world and he vowed to tell her that every single day for the rest of their lives.
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Taglist: @bradshawseresinbabe @wkndwlff @a-reader-and-a-writer @callsign-phoenix @imjess-themess @averyhotchner @mayhem24-7forever @callsignmaverick5 @ssprayberrythings @smoothdogsgirl @xoxabs88xox @luckyladycreator2 @abaker74 @elenavampire21 @classyunknownlover @okiegirl24 @flashyourgreeneyesatme @airedale17 @shadowolf993 @flyboyjake @topguncultleader @callmemana @t-nd-rfoot @desert-fern @cherrycola27 @green-socks @jstarr86 @starkleila @alexxavicry @roostette @floralfloyd @soulmates8 @depressed-friend-blog @mayhemmanaged @shanimallina87 @shadowsintheknight @bcon24 @cassiemitchell @genius2050 @iceman-kazansky @yeahcurrahhe-e
#love and war#bob floyd x y/n#robert floyd x reader#robert floyd#robert bob floyd x reader#robert floyd x you#robert bob floyd#ww2 fic#ww2 au#1940s#101st airborne division#101st airborne
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@pjo-equinox-solstice-exchange
@kaijuusandkryptids
Here is the fic I wrote for @kaijuusandkryptids for the @pjo-equinox-solstice-exchange ! I haven’t come up with a good title yet, do let me know if you have an idea. I also had a request from a friend to continue this one, so if people like it I’ll post on AO3 and keep going :)
Untitled
Will had come to the library at this time for the fourth day this week. He normally studied in the morning; he felt most awake when the sun was strong, beaming down onto his golden head as he walked to the library from his dorm in campus. But this week, he hadn’t had the time during the day to study, busy with his clinical placement at the university hospital, so he’d been here after dark. You should sleep, said the logical part of his brain. Shut up, I’ll sleep when I’m dead, he told it, and took another sip of his shaken iced espresso with six ristretto shots. Really, he could have gone home and slept. He didn’t particularly need to study this much for this particular class; it was a mandatory elective, a Classics class on Ancient Greek mythology. He’d grown up with tales of the Olympians and their exploits told to him by his father - whenever he bothered to stop by long enough to tell stories, that was. But he was drawn back to this corner of the library night after night, not by the need to study, but rather by the dark-haired, alabaster-skinned young man who had been there every night at the same time, seemingly browsing the Classics stacks.
Seemingly.
Not that Will was watching all that closely, but the glances he kept stealing at the boy showed that he just stared at the same spot on the shelf, occasionally taking down the same volume to stare at it.
Not that Will was paying attention.
Much.
Okay, who was he kidding. He was so, so far gone for this boy.
He’d been trying to work up the nerve to go speak to him for the past 3 nights. Will had noticed him the first night - been ensnared by him, really. He’d been attempting to write his paper on homosexuality in Ancient Greek epic poetry - not ground breaking, but he enjoyed researching it - when movement in the corner of his vision had caught his attention. He’d glanced idly up and done an actual, honest-to-gods double take.
The man was thin - too thin, really - a fact accentuated by his black skinny jeans and oversized aviator jacket. His hair was raven black, mussed as if with sleep, but in an artful kind of way, brushing down his forehead and framing a thin face with endless brown eyes and thick lashes. He was cute, no doubt about that - but what really drew Will in was the seemingly bottomless melancholy in his eyes.
Tonight was the night, he told himself. He would talk to him tonight. Normally, Will had no problem approaching cute guys. He was confident in himself, and he knew he wasn’t bad looking, and he had never had a shortage of partners; but there was something about this guy…
Will was pretending to work on his paper - in reality, he’d written about two sentences in the last hour, glancing up every two minutes to see if the boy had arrived yet - when he finally did. Will watched as the boy prowled towards the same shelf he always visited and tried not to look like he was watching.
After waiting what he thought was a respectable amount of time (17 minutes, he thought, was good. 7 was a good number, but too few. So 17 it was), he rose from his seat and stretched his arms, letting out an involuntary yawn that, nonetheless, accomplished what he had been attempting to do - it caught the attention of the stranger. Depthless brown eyes met sky blue ones - and locked. Will attempted a suave smile, but from the way the boy’s lips quirked up slightly on one side, it was more like a grimace. Well, you’re in it now, William Andrew Solace, said a voice in his head that sounded an awful lot like his mother’s. Now what are you going to do?
Will did the only thing possible at this point - he approached. He stuffed his hands in his pockets to hide their shaking. “Hey,” he said as smoothly as possible, given the situation. “I’m Will.”
The stranger stared at him, looking at once bewildered and yet slightly amused. “Hey. I’m Nico.”
*******
Nico stuck out his hand to Will, who shook it firmly. “I’ve seen you around here the last couple of nights,” Will said. Nico’s stomach tied itself into a complicated knot at Will’s gentle Southern accent. “What are you studying?”
“Philosophy,” Nico replied, which was not strictly incorrect. “You?”
“Medicine,” Will replied. Impressive.
Nico often haunted this section of the library. It had very little to do with what he was studying, although it was not completely unrelated. He always came in the middle of the night, when the nightmares were most likely to strike. The last few nights, though, he’d come back to this spot to see the frazzled blonde boy sitting in the corner, puzzling over a copy of the Iliad and guzzling enough espresso to give a horse a heart attack. Now that Nico knew Will was studying medicine, the espresso made a lot more sense.
After the first night, Nico had known the blonde - Will - had been watching him. At first it kind of creeped him out, but after a little while he found he didn’t particularly mind being watched. Normally he avoided contact with living beings, but something about Will made him feel…comfortable. It was a strange sensation; he hadn’t felt comfortable around anyone since his sister had died 4 years ago. He had been contemplating what he should do; he had three options. Option A was to leave as fast as possible and never see or think about this boy again; Nico immediately discarded this thought. Though flight was tempting, something in Nico’s gut told him his mind would not as easily walk away from this situation. Option B: he could approach and try to talk to the boy. Absolutely out of the question. Or, finally, C: he could keep coming back and hope that something would happen. So he kept coming back; and tonight, whatever gods were listening had answered.
Nico hadn’t realized he’d been staring in silence until Will smiled nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. “So…come here often?”
This was so unexpected from someone who looked so put together that Nico barked out a laugh. Will turned red and covered his face. “That - that was so cheesy. I’m so sorry! Let me try again.” Will took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and seemed to collect himself. “Soooooooo…” His shoulders slumped again as he shook his head.
Nico burst out laughing. He couldn’t remember laughing since before Bianca’s death. He laughed and laughed and laughed. And though Will initially looked absolutely mortified, as Nico cackled (honest to gods cackled), Will’s face slowly cracked into a grin and he began laughing as well.
“Well,” said Will, wiping away tears of mirth, “I think that’s the first time I’ve embarrassed myself quite that quickly when introducing myself to a cute guy.”
Now it was Nico’s turn to blush. He tucked his hands into the pockets of his aviator jacket. “Umm…thanks?”
Will smiled, truly smiled, and it shone as bright as the sun. “So. What are you looking for in here anyway?”
******
Three hours later, Will and Nico emerged from the classics stacks looking considerably worse for wear. A flushed and (even more) disheveled Nico was clutching several volumes of epic Greek poetry to his chest, while Will lugged his shoulder bag with his laptop stuffed into it, along with his notes for his very much not completed Classics paper. Nico placed his books on the checkout desk in front of the reedy, pale librarian who was always here late at night.
Hello, Nico signed. Through four years of his undergrad and now three years into his Master’s, Nico had developed a friendly relation with Hearthstone, the University’s night librarian. He had learned sign language as a way to occupy his time after Bianca’s death, and it seemed easier to speak to someone with gestures rather than to summon words.
Hearth smiled in that small way of his. Hello, Nico, he signed. Who is your new friend?
Will looked on in seeming amazement as Nico signed back, This is Will. He is a medical student here.
As Nico was showing Will how to sign Hello and the letters of his name, Hearthstone’s tiny husband, Blitzen, marched out from behind the counter.
“Di Angelo!” he practically bellowed, adjusting his cream silk cravat. Nico nearly winced at the loud sound after spending so much time in the quiet library and in company of Hearthstone. “It’s nearly three in the morning! Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”
Nico smiled down at Blitzen. “Hi, Blitz. You know me. I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” Blitz looked back at him with something like concern, then shrugged and turned to look at the titles Nico was checking out. “The Odyssey, the Iliad, Orpheus and Eurydice, Collected Works of Pindar…what are you working on now, kid?”
“Oh, this and that,” Nico hedged. He wasn’t about to explain his researches into the Underworld to an undersized male fashionista at three in the morning, especially when he had plans for Will.
Hearth handed back the books to Nico. As Nico took them, Hearth signed, Good night, Nico. Try to get some sleep. Hearth eyed Will. Eventually.
Will took the books from Nico and tucked them under his arm. He wrapped his other arm around Nico’s waist and tugged him toward the door. “Come on, my friend. We have some research to do.”
#booklr#percy jackson#heroes of olympus#rick riordan#nico di angelo#william andrew solace#nico x will#fanfiction#gift exchange
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Rayven's Revenge- Chapter 9
Summary: Rayven is the younger sister of Rhysand in the Night Court. She was banished 64 years ago for the murder of her sister. This is the story of Rayven earning her place in Prythian and finding out what it means to be family. We all know how her story ends...but how did she get there? I don't want to forget the demon princess with bat wings. Do you?
Word Count: 1.2k
Warnings: none-typical canon content
A/N: Fuck it, here's 9 too. I got 17 chapters in the chamber. (Are all of them good is the question. The simple answer is ~no~ but nothing editing cant fix right besties)
Rayven had made it a few wing lengths into her flight towards the House of Wind when she remembered she had never checked on Eris.
She could meet with him after she played the Highlord, but Lucien’s warning nagged at her. Autumn was no longer safe. At least nowhere near the Forest House.
She cursed herself for not being able to reach out to his mind at this distance. She could send a message through the flames of the hearth in her room, but communicating under the Highlord’s roof was another risk entirely. She couldn't just leave it though, if Eris was in trouble she owed it to him to help. He’d do it for her.
Rahne hadn't slept either. She paced and panicked right alongside Rayven in the night. Their flight was swift, but much slower than normal. She struggled to keep a steady pace.
No racing today?
She didn't respond with words, only a small huff like she couldn't catch her breath.
Another apology she owed. Maybe Rhys was right. She hadn't thought through every alley of her plan, and the consequences they’d have to navigate.
They banked up the side of the mountain that held the House of Wind above the reach of Velaris’ streets. Winnowing here was impossible, so flying on no energy or sleep was the only option.
Azriel had trailed them, Rahne reported. She couldn't go anywhere in Velaris without some bat boy hovering.
Males. Her shadow mocked.
Her feet landed uneven on the balcony off of the main hall. She took one breath to stabilize her shaking muscles and wiped her slick hands down her thighs.
The Highlord, unlike Tarin, was always prompt in his arrangements. He sat atop the obsidian dais at the far end of the House of Wind.
Rayven approached the throne’s steps with Rahne tucked in her wing folds. They argued over her staying behind, but if Rayven was stubborn, Rahne was unmoveable. She could at least order her to not leave the shade her wing casted; she was not risking her getting caught snooping. Everything Rayven picked up today had to come from her own wits.
She should've bowed lower than she did, but that little girl stopped her bend at the waist. He didn't seem insulted by her shallow bow.
“Father,” She fought the bile rising in her throat. “Thank you for granting me an audience.”
“I called this meeting,” the voice of the Highlord carried over the rocky throne room.
“Of course,” She made my chin dip, but held his eyes.
“You were indiscreet in your false representation as my emissary in Spring.”
I outsmarted you, she wanted to spit at him.
He could not read her mind, but that didn't mean he couldn't read her face. She tried to school her features the way she had seen Rhys do hundreds of times.
She swallowed. Here we go.
“I beg your forgiveness for my misguided judgment, and thank you for the opportunity to serve you in Spring.” Her stomach twisted like it was going to be sick, but she forced it away.
“You have no rank among my court,” he paused for his words to hit their mark. She pretended to flinch and his mouth picked up on the side. “You take my daughter from me, then attempt to deceive me in the seasonal courts, and shame the court you've sworn allegiance to. Why should I let you continue to parade around as if you have any authority over my legions.” It was a question, but he began to speak darker, like he did when casting a spell.
She made her eyes stare at the marble floor. “I only wish to defend this court in your name.”
He was unreadable.
“No male will willingly follow you.” A sick smile twisted his face. “I will allow you to go to Spring with females of your choosing. Two week watches, rotated with the cooperation of Lord Devlon and Lieutenant Cassian.” He repeated her words from Spring like he’d been there. “You and your females are to train with the spymaster and the lieutenant every day until your first shift following the spring equinox.”
One month from now. He was not only allowing her a rotation, but also knowledge and practice for the task. She forced her eyes to not narrow on the cruel male. There was a catch lurking around his words.
“Thank you,” she said genuinely.
“In return for your impertinence, you will send daily reports of your findings in Spring.”
So not just a border watch. Rhys was right.
“Of course. Any information I find is yours,” Rayven said.
“The seasonal courts have aligned tightly for Tarin’s request. Why do you think I want our presence known there?”
Translation: he would not have the seasonal courts banning together under his nose.
“The authority of the Highlord is to be understood by the courts outside of Night,” She remembered the words from his teachings as a child. “Lest they forget our wrath.” Rayven met the eyes of the Highlord who looked slightly less furious, his mildly pleased look.
She was passing with flying colors.
“Have you forgotten?” Another layered question.
“Not once.” She replied with honesty and he knew it.
“There are whispers of a rogue Hybern rebel in the woods of Spring,” he said. And while her blood roared with fire, it suddenly chilled to ice.
There was only one other person she knew who could hear whispers across the courts. Did he know? She needed to be precise in her response.
“Just one?”
“A female.” If he sensed her unease he did not show it.
“Why would they leave behind one female?” She made her weight balance between her feet. She would not have her knees shake, giving her away in his throne room.
His eyes simmered. “That is what you will find for me.”
“Am I to confer with the others in my efforts?”
“I expect you to work closely with the males leading this operation. You may have the Ironcrest females answer to you, but you will answer to Lord Devlon and Lieutenant Cassian.” His word was law, and she was to obey.
Yeah right.
But Rayven said, “As you command it, Highlord.” She moved my shoulder a few inches forward into her parting bow, assuming he was giving her leave.
“Rayven,” her name dripped like poison from his mouth. “Do not disappoint me again.” So it had been said, so he shall have it.
He didn't need to warn her this was my last chance.
She made it down the mountain of the House of Wind before she had to empty her stomach.
A few passing citizens peered at her, some snickering. She sent images of dark flame into their weak minds and they found it wise to be somewhere else.
She felt him before she heard the beats of his wings.
Rahne decided to hell with her ‘stay hidden’ command and met with Azriel’s shadow. She couldn't tell his shadows apart, but she seemed to favor one above the others.
“What happened?” Azriel asked. His scarred hands were solid under her arms. He pulled her up from her hands and knees and moved the loose hair from her eyes.
“We are so fucked.”
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Hi Pasta! How are you doing?
Oh god the week has been SO FUCKING LONGGGGGGGGG. Managed to get everything cleaned up and all non-essentials or non-staging packed away for the showing but then had to vacate for the showing this weekend, so just went to a hotel.
Dog was fine, but my oldest cat was an anxious, needy wreck being apart from the other cats (who were in another hotel room) and so I spent 85% of my time holding him or being meowed at by him or getting anxious demands for cuddles, so most attempts to write wound up like this:
In short it was stressful. Also there was no hot water for a portion because of a winter storm because for some reason the universe has decided that I needed a brief repeat of the reno incident of having no shower available.
BUT.
BUT.
BUT.
Not only am I now home, and not only did I manage to get a little writing done this week, meaning there WILL be a chapter tomorrow (thank the fandom gods), BUT...
There are not one, not two, not three, not four, but five offers for the house, with more expected before the close at midnight tonight. Which means tomorrow there should be a chosen buyer and I will be free to leave this tiny, miserable, joyless town forever.
i do not like this town they don't like geek things they're mean to dogs they are not friendly this town does not spark joy into the abyss with this place
So basically despite the fact that it has all been stressful af, there is a gigantic, glorious, bright light at the end of the tunnel.
So. *holds out hands* On one hand with all the stress some of my hair has probably turned white ha ha fuck you white hair see if you can shine beneath 50 tons of black-blue hair dye but on the other hand... hopefully things are going to work out nicely. I'll know tomorrow when the offers are looked at!
Also I passed 3k followers at some point this week which I'm having a little trouble comprehending???
In short, I'm on a fucking roller coaster, my friend, and I love all of you and your support. 💖
#ask response#pasta life update#this week was frantic packing and cleaning and set up#honestly the pets did as well as they could in the hotel#someone tried to get into my room like three times until fozzie dog went and growled through the door#stopped the attempts and he slept there every night after so he's a good boi#i'm so fucking nervous about the house offers#idk why i just am#but mostly i'm just excited at the prospect of being able to leave#also yes there is a chapter and it's mostly comfort ]#because most of it was written while trapped in a hotel room with two stressed animals while a winter storm fucked around outside#me to the pets#i just think we ALL NEED COMFORT RIGHT NOW. WE ALL NEED IT. WE NEED IT. ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL??? COMFORT.#SO YA'LL GET COMFORT THIS WEEK FROM ME TO YOU#so that's why i've been absent
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Please Stay
Severus Snape x Reader
Professor Snape comforts reader after she was SAed by another student.
Warnings: Reader gets SAed, throwing up, panic attack, mentions of food. If I missed anything please let me know, and if you’ve been through something like this -- know that my inbox is always open.
WC: 1k
I got this as an ask quite some time ago, looking back for it, it seems like tumblr ate it. But the other day I remembered it, and decided to bring it to life. It’s something that is a little bit of a sensitive topic for some, and I hope that I could do this ask some justice, annon. I understand the feeling, and would love for my comfort character to comfort me too <3.
You were running down the Hogwarts halls, classes had ended and dinner was over. Truly, you should be going to your room.
But you couldn’t, not after what happened.
You had been eating in the dining hall, nothing unusual. Until the boy sat beside you wouldn’t stop touching you. At first he just sat way too close, and then he had his hand on your thigh.
Up and up and up.
You wanted to say something, you really did. But you couldn’t. Not when he had his mate around, not when the outcome of you speaking up could become much, much worse.
You didn’t touch a bite of your food and as soon as dinner was over you leapt up from your seat and to anywhere but there.
You heard him and his friends laughing at your back.
At first you went to one of the bathrooms – furthest away from the dining hall and as far away from your house as possible.
You stayed locked in one of the bathroom stalls for as long as possible. You’d thrown up the little you’d eaten at dinner, either from the disgust or anxiety pooling in your belly. It was a distant thing, but somewhere inside you felt ashamed.
It was dangerously close to the night hours and you knew you had to make it to your room before someone realized you were missing.
But again, you couldn’t.
Not when the boy from dinner was a member of your own house. Not when the look in his eye said ‘I’m not finished with you.’ Surely he wouldn’t try anything, not in your own room. But what if he did?
The thought made you want to break down all over again.
You decided you wouldn’t go to your room. No, you’d go to the safest, furthest place you could get.
***
Snape was still in his classroom, of course. It’s not like he ever slept. He heard a timid knock on the door.
For a moment, he wondered who it could’ve been. He thought for a moment it might’ve been another professor, but the knock was so gentle. Maybe Albus, he thought.
Of all the people he thought could’ve been at his door, the last person he’d think to see was you. And stars, were you in some shape. Cheeks flushed and eyes bloodshot, your hair was messy in a sort of way that differed from its usual unkempt state.
Without a second thought he ushered you inside.
You had stood there at his door for a good couple of minutes before finally building up the courage to knock.
“Miss Y/N, what are you doing here at this hour? You should be nearly asleep.” The usual chill of his tone was softened at the edges, lined with something close to worry.
You were one of his best students. Always interested in his lessons, always polite. Every day you’d show up to his class with a delighted spark in your eye, but now that spark was dulled -- and that frightened him.
You took a quick glance up at him, quivering hands folded in front of you. “I- I couldn’t go to my dorm, Professor,” A strangled hiccup caught your breath. “I just couldn’t.” With those weak words, you broke down crying again.
Severus was taken aback, unsure of what to do. Usually when a student was crying near him, it was his fault. But rarely – scratch that – never had a student come to him in tears.
He swiftly led you further into the room with a gentle hand on your shoulder and sat you at his desk.
“What's happened?” He grabbed a glass of water. “Shh, shh. Breathe, here - drink.”
You attempted to grasp the glass but your hands shook too rapidly to get the job done. Severus put the glass back down. Surprisingly, he removed his heavy cloak before placing it on your shoulders, knowing that the weight could help ease you.
“Talk to me.”
“I was- I was at dinner, and this boy,” You heaved. “This boy that sat next to me at dinner, he wouldn’t stop touching me.” You shook out your hands as you tried to retell the story.
I’ll kill him, the professor thought.
“His hand kept going higher and higher. He wouldn’t stop! I told him to stop..”
No, he thought, I’ll torture him.
Professor Snape had no words, none that would be helpful. So he kept a hand on your shoulder, a quiet gesture that meant ‘keep talking.’
“And- and stars, I can’t go to my dorm.” You finally managed to look up into his eyes. “What if he’s there?”
“No, do not worry.” He spoke. “You can stay here, if you like. I will have this all handled by the morning.”
He offered you a place to stay, a place that felt safe. And who would you be to turn him down?
“Really?” He gave a subtle nod. “Thank you! Thank you professor!” And you started crying all over again.
In one cautious, swift movement he pulled you into his arms. You shook with tears, wrapped in Severus’ cloak and his arms.
He swiftly set up a makeshift bed for you. A small cot with soft blankets and fluffy pillows. It certainly wasn’t your bed, but the kindness of the gesture meant more to you than anyone would ever know.
“There,” He fluffed a pillow. “Now you sleep. I’m going to go get this handled before morning.” Before he could stand all the way up you grabbed his hand.
“No, please. Please don’t go.”
He only looked at you, eyes soft. He knew that look, a look of fear. A look of helplessness. One he knew all too well. He wanted to heal your hurt, and hurt whoever caused your hurt.
“Okay, okay. I’ll stay.”
He brought over the stack of papers he was grading before you came in with the wave of his wand. He sat next to the little cot, watching as you fell asleep, still hand in hand.
#severus snape#snape#professor snape#snape x reader#severus x reader#snape x you#snape x y/n#snape is my comfort character
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— morning after with haikyuu boys
summary: they’re next to you when you wake up, but you wonder if he’s really yours even after last night. [previous / next] tags: suggestive content, nudity, aged up characters, hurt/comfort + angst to fluff, insecurities featuring: suna rintarou, kageyama tobio, oikawa tooru image credit: @seerlight on twitter
— suna rintarou
suna looks beautiful when he’s asleep, you decide. you take in the sight of how the hair falls over his eyes, how his eyelashes fan over the tops of his cheeks, and wonder if you’ll ever see this sight again.
you’re almost sure that he had only slept with you last night because it had been convenient: at the same party, living in the same apartment building. there’s no way he would want to keep doing this, not when there were so many other people he could be with. you graze your fingertips over his cheekbones, smiling to yourself, before you get up to go brush your teeth.
you’re making breakfast when he wakes up, padding barefoot and shirtless into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes. god, he looks good, you think. you avoid eye contact, afraid that your feelings would show on your face.
“morning, rin,” you say, trying to keep your voice level, “i’m making food, if you want some—”
and then you stop yourself. maybe he doesn’t want any, maybe he wants to leave as soon as possible. so you backtrack, “i mean—it’s okay if you don’t want any! i just... i made—”
he cuts you off by putting his hand on your hip and resting his chin on your shoulder. your breath catches when he says, “what’s wrong? last night got you flustered?”
“no— it’s just—” you try to find the words, your face heating up, “it’s okay if you want to leave. i don’t— maybe you don’t usually have breakfast with your one night stands...”
he presses his lips to your neck. “is that what you think this is? a one time thing?”
you finally gather the courage to look at him, but he’s so close to you that you reel back. he catches you in his arms and smirks. you must look like you’re on the verge of tears, but suna just looks amused.
“come on,” he urges, digging his fingers into your back, “let’s eat breakfast.”
— oikawa tooru
“wake up, tooru,” you sing, slinging an arm over his waist and burying your face in his back.
you feel great. your body is pleasantly sore and you slept better than you ever have with oikawa next to you. you nuzzle him until he groans, twisting around to look at you. you grin at him, and he almost smiles back, but then a look crosses his face, and suddenly he’s turning back around.
“hey,” he groans, burying his face into the pillow, “c-could you get off of me?”
you recoil, your fingers slipping from his body. oh, you think. maybe it wasn’t like that then. so you laugh awkwardly, turning away from him with a small sure. there’s nothing to do except get out of bed, your morning mood broken. unbeknownst to you, oikawa peeks at your back.
“i’m just— i’m gonna go shower,” you mumble, and add, “it’s okay if you leave the door unlocked if you wanna go,” as an afterthought.
you turn the shower scalding hot, rinsing away the remnants of last night. you try not to strain your ears, try not to think about oikawa leaving while the memories of his touch are still on your mind. by the time you get out of the bathroom, your body feels clean but your heart still feels heavy.
“u-uh,” you hear from the living room, and you look up in surprise, “good shower?” oikawa asks, averting his eyes from your naked body.
“tooru?” you hold a hand over your breasts as an attempt at modesty, “what are you still doing here? i thought— i thought you left...”
he’s still shielding his eyes, but you can see the furious blush on his face. he’s embarrassed, you realize, watching his curled up form on your couch. you walk closer to him, dripping water all over the place, but you don’t care. you take his hand away from his face.
“s-sorry,” he mumbles quietly, still covering his eyes with one hand, “i was kinda mean earlier...”
you stare at him, finally relaxing. you burrow into his arms, leaving him sputtering over how he was getting all wet. you pout anyway, looking up at him with watery eyes.
“you’re such a dork, tooru...”
— kageyama tobio
when you wake up, kageyama is already getting dressed, slipping on the sweats and trackshirt that he wore to your place last night. he’s doing it so meticulously, so seriously, that you just watch him for a few moments before you say anything.
“tobio?” you call when he’s done, his hand on the doorknob of your room, “why don’t you come back to bed?”
he turns to look at you blankly, “no, i should get going. i have some things to take care of today.”
you search for signs that he’s evading, but knowing kageyama, he really does have errands to run, ones that he wouldn’t put aside even for five minutes in bed with you. he’s always been like that, straightforward—so you give him your best smile, pulling the blankets up to cover your chest, and wave him goodbye.
“okay,” you say quietly, the hurt from his dismissal lingering, “have a good day then, tobio.”
you try not to read into his actions for the next few days, but it gets harder with every moment that passes when he doesn’t contact you. he sometimes sent texts unprompted before that night. you’re disappointed when he doesn’t.
you see him by chance after a week, when you’re sweaty and out of breath after a jog. your heart’s already racing when he runs up to you, looking exactly as he did the morning he left you in bed.
“y/n,” he greets, face impassive, “how are you?”
you avert your eyes, telling him you’re good, even though you’ve been worrying about this despite your attempts not to. it’s awkward, with the sound of the wind blowing between you, and you don’t know what to do.
he looks around, hands in his pockets, “um...” he starts, blush forming on his cheeks, “do you want to spend some time together today?”
“but—” you look at him in surprise, “but you— i mean... do you want to?”
he’s confused, shifting his head to the side. “yeah,” he agrees, like it’s natural, “we haven’t seen each other much the past few days so...”
“i just...” you mumble quietly, “...thought you didn’t wanna see me anymore.”
“huh...” he hums, looking away, “sorry, i’ve just been busy. i guess i should have sent a message or something... but i, um... i missed you.”
you take him in then, with his flustered expression, and think, yeah, tobio is like that. he’s honest, almost to a fault, and you should have known. you relax, sliding your hand in his, just to watch him blush harder.
“i missed you, too, tobio,” you smile, “let’s finish our jog, yeah?”
#hana.fic#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu angst#haikyuu imagines#suna x reader#oikawa x reader#kageyama x reader#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu scenarios#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#ch.suna#ch.oikawa#ch.kageyama
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Pillow Talk
A/N: i will never apologize for being horny on main
AO3 Link
Pairing: Loki x Reader
Word Count: 3.4k
Summary: After an entire day of staring at you in that bikini, Loki is left utterly desperate for release. Good thing he sleeps with a lot of pillows.
Tags: masturbation, phone sex, pillow humping, needy!Loki, pining
Loki shifted on the bed, mashing his face roughly into the satin pillow case. It was nearly dawn, and he hadn’t slept. Even the tiniest hint of sleep had evaded him, and he’d tossed and turned enough to make his muscles ache in protest. With a frustrated growl, he rolled onto his back and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes until he saw stars. This was never going to work.
He had no one to blame but himself for his insomnia. Really, it was pathetic, the way his mind had latched onto one silly little human and made her the object of his obsession. You with your silky hair and soft eyes, keeping him up until the morning hours. Your melodic voice rang in his eardrums, and every time he closed his eyes, he’d see that perfect skin of yours and wish it was pressed up against--
With a gasp, Loki swiftly brought his hands down to grasp the sheets in agony. He wished he could blame it on the fact that he hadn’t bed anyone in at least a decade, but he knew himself. Celibacy had never been an issue for him in the past; he wasn’t a teenage boy, he could control his needs. But you had him feeling like one all over again. The way he gawked at you like it was his first time seeing a pair of breasts nearly spill out of a way-too-tight tank top, it was downright shameful. You were just so innocent, so pure, and he longed to see that smile collapse into a pout as you whimpered against his lips.
Despite his best efforts, Loki could feel his cock throb in renewed need. It had been begging for release nearly all night, and Loki had successfully ignored it so far. He held steady in his determination in not giving in, but his resolve was slipping. Today has been especially tortuous. Tony and his goddamn insistence that Loki participate in team bonding. A day at the beach, one which Loki spent lounging in the hot sand shielding his eyes from the blinding sun. You had splashed around in the waves with Natasha and bounced around in a bikini that seemed specifically designed to torture Loki. The bottoms had shifted themselves to ride up quite a few times, and Loki had taken pleasure in watching you reach back with slippery fingers to pull them out of your ass.
Loki’s cock throbbed again, almost violently this time. He moaned softly into the open air. The sound was pained, and Loki felt his hand begin to drift towards the string of his pajama bottoms. They were silk, and because Loki had chosen to forgo underwear, the soft material felt like heaven against his swollen erection. Before his fingers could slip inside to where he needed them most, Loki ripped them away in defiance and turned onto his side, tangling the blanket between his legs as he rolled. The pressure of the thick comforter into his crotch made Loki suck in a surprised breath. His hips twitched upward of their own accord and Loki’s eyes fluttered in pleasure.
Loki could feel his will dissolving with every jolt of pleasure that swam up his spin. His mind spun with images of you: you curled up against him, reaching back with your dainty hand to pull him closer to you, encouraging him to grind against your backside. As if he was in a daze, Loki grabbed one of the many pillows adorning his bed and shoved it between his legs. The firmness of the pillow was so much more satisfying than the blanket, and Loki groaned.
It was over, he had accepted defeat. Loki was about to hump his pillow like an animal and it was all your fault. He thought of that wet bikini sticking to your skin, your breasts bouncing as you jogged back up the beach to him and breathed out a “what’s up” like he wasn’t about to cum in his swim trunks just from watching you. As the memories danced through his head, Loki’s hips began to roll in more deliberate motions. With every thrust, his cock pressed up against the soft material of his pants. Loki could feel the pre-cum wetting the silk, but it only served to amplify his pleasure as the damp fabric clung to his skin.
The buzzing of his phone startled Loki out of his fantasies, and he nearly wanted to throw the thing against the wall. Tony would get him a new one, as he always did no matter how many times that Loki had insisted they were unnecessary devices. As much as he wanted to let it ring, Loki had learned that calls at this hour usually meant an unexpected mission, and he’d be back on house arrest if he didn’t answer. Loki reluctantly leaned over to his bedside table to grab the vibrating object, keeping the pillow between his legs. His heart came to a near stop as he saw your name illuminated on the screen.
A few moments passed as Loki stared dry-mouthed at the caller ID, wondering when he had fallen asleep. Because the only explanation for you calling him in the middle of the night was that he was dreaming. Sure, you had texted him the occasional internet video that you thought he’d enjoy, but had never called him. And certainly not at five in the morning. With a hard swallow, Loki hit the “accept call” button and waited.
“Hey, Loki?” Came your tired-sounding voice. It wasn’t as gorgeous when muffled by the phone static, but it gave Loki shivers nonetheless.
“What is this about?” Loki tried to sound as irritated as possible, figuring that would be the proper reaction to receiving a call this early. The truth was that he was elated to hear your voice, and was disgusted by himself. A mortal, making him this weak in the knees, it was absolutely pathetic.
You were silent for a moment. “I’m sorry, I just couldn’t sleep. I-I’m not really sure why I called you, I’m sorry for waking you up. I’ll just--”
“Wait!” Loki burst out before you could end the call. His loud voice echoed back at him in the silent room and he cringed, hoping that no one had heard him. Loki bit his lip anxiously, uncertain of what to say to keep you on the line. “Um, I was awake. I couldn’t sleep either.”
“Oh, I guess that’s good. Well, not really good that you can’t sleep, I mean good that I didn’t wake you.”
Loki chuckled at your awkward ramblings. Norns, you were so cute. “Don’t worry, pet, I know what you meant.” As the words left his lips, Loki’s eyes widened as he realized what he’d just called you. Pet. It had been a slip of the tongue, but it brought forth a whole new round of fantasies. He couldn’t help but imagine about what it would be like to own you, to grab you by your pretty face and push his cock between your lips over and over. Absent-mindedly, Loki began to move his hips against the pillow again. He had to bite down on his tongue to keep from gasping. As quietly as he could manage, he put the call on speaker and set the phone down beside him so he could lie back on his side and resume his earlier activities. Loki knew it was so, so wrong to do this while you were none-the-wiser, but he couldn’t help it. He had been so worked up for so long and now it was like his body had taken over, hell bent on getting the relief it needed.
“So, why couldn’t you sleep?”
“Oh, just lost in my thoughts, I suppose,” Loki said as his eyes fell shut. His voice was the slightest bit strained, the soft drag of his pants against his cock making it hard to focus.
“Yeah, same here.” You sighed into the phone, and Loki heard a bit of rustling as you presumably got more comfortable. “I have trouble sleeping a lot, actually. I guess I just get lonely.”
A heavy weight of guilt sank into Loki’s chest. Here you were, opening yourself up to him, and he was trying to get off to the sound of your voice. He was truly depraved, that was for sure. But fuck, the tired rasp to your voice and the small sighs you let out were sending him sky high. His mind was running wild with fantasies of you under him, you in his lap, you up against the wall as he fucked you into it. Loki fought to sound normal as he responded to you. “I understand. Most beings are very social creatures, we need company to--ah!” A particularly rough thrust of his hips had caught Loki off guard as the mind-numbing pleasure rocketed through his body.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes, pet,” Loki said, panting as he forced his hips to still. “Just stretching.” It was a lame excuse, but Loki was too far gone to come up with anything better. His body quaked as he tried to keep still, like his own muscles were attempting to disobey his brain. Everything in him was screaming out for more. Cum, you need to cum. Once again, Loki was forced to give in as his hips resumed their grinding. The pillow itself was now damp with how much he was leaking, and it felt amazing.
The phone was quiet, and Loki could almost hear how hard you were thinking on the other end. And then: “Loki, are you...masturbating?” Your voice trailed off as you said that word. The sheer embarrassment was evident in your tone, and Loki was almost astounded at how bold you were. Not many humans had the nerve to just up and ask something like that.
Even through the shock of being caught, Loki could not find it in him to be surprised that you had caught on. You had always come across as intelligent to him, it was foolish to think he could fool you with a half-hearted excuse. Still, it was beyond humiliating to have been called out so brazenly. Loki saw no point in denying it; you would not have asked if you weren't sure. “Yes,” he replied, voice cracking as he froze in place for the second time. Despite the embarrassment, Loki’s erection did not not falter. In fact, it seemed that he only got harder. This mortal would be the death of him.
“O-oh!” You seemed surprised, like you hadn’t expected him to come right out with it. “I’m so sorry, I guess I interrupted you, huh? Shit, I’m sorry.” How absurd. Loki was the one shamelessly rubbing himself against a pillow while talking to you, and you were the one apologizing.
Loki found it intriguing that you hadn’t hung up immediately upon learning of his actions. You hadn’t seemed disgusted at all, just apologetic for interrupting his activities. Loki wasn’t sure if your lack of repulsion was what caused it, or if it was simply his need clouding his judgement, but his mouth began to move before he could stop it. “It’s excellent for sleep. I highly recommend it for nights like these.”
There was no sugar coating it; that was a proposition, no matter how poorly disguised it was as simple advice. “Um,” came your faint reply. Loki’s face burned as he pictured the look of horror you were probably wearing at the moment. And then he nearly swallowed his tongue as you spoke again. “Yeah, I tried earlier. Wasn’t really...working.”
A new gush of blood found its way into Loki’s cock at your admission. He couldn’t help but imagine you writhing on your bed, soaked in sweat and your own slick as you tried desperately to get to that crescendo of pleasure. His blush had somehow grown even stronger, and he couldn’t recall the last time he had even blushed at all. This mortal was killing him, you were his executioner and he was begging for you to pull the trigger.
“That’s quite unfortunate,” Loki managed through his reverie. He was still frozen, almost scared to begin his motions again for fear of cumming on the spot. His cock twitched in time with his racing heart, occasionally dripping precum into his pants. Loki was a mess, but he could not bring himself to care in the slightest. All that mattered was the arousal screaming under his skin and your intoxicating voice in his ears.
“Yeah. Sorry, should I go? And let you, y’know, finish?”
Loki racked his brain for an excuse to get you to stay. It was maddening, how quickly you had ruined him. Seduction was one of his many talents, as was manipulation. In the past, he would have had no trouble at all talking someone into his bed and onto his cock, but you were different. Every flirtation died on his lips the moment he was in your presence, and it was all he could do to form complete sentences as you turned his knees to jelly.
After an excruciating period of silence as Loki thought, he finally spoke. “It would be unfair of me to abandon you in favor of pleasuring myself when you cannot do the same.”
This time it was your turn to stay quiet. Loki waited anxiously, half-expecting you to just leave anyway. He had already come to terms with your disinterest in him, you were probably just being polite. But...you had called him. There must have been at least a slight attraction for Loki to have been on your mind after attempting to get yourself off.
“Maybe we could…” There was a tremble to your voice as you trailed off, and Loki held his breath as he waited for you to finish. Whatever your suggestion ended up being, he was ready to enthusiastically agree. Anything that involved you and pleasure was incredibly enticing. “Maybe we don’t have to hang up, then.”
Loki’s eyes went wide. Did you mean…? An involuntary moan fell from his lips as he shivered at the thought. “I would, mm, not be opposed to that idea.” Loki’s body had won over for the final time that night and his hips began to move again. After restraining himself for so long, feeling that delicious friction once again nearly overwhelmed him.
“I don’t really know how to do this,” you said. “I can’t really believe I actually asked you that.”
“Would you like instruction, pet?”
“That might help, yeah.”
Loki began to wonder if he was dead, and this was his version of Valhalla. Whatever the case, he was going to ride this high for as long as he could. Everything else seemed to fade into the distance: the chirping of birds outside as the sun rose, the hum of the traffic down below, all of it meant nothing. It meant nothing because you were on the other side of the phone asking for Loki to tell you how to touch yourself. Loki took a deep breath and tried to get a hold of himself; he needed to let you catch up before he could allow himself to lose control.
“I want you to get undressed, and get comfortable.” That was a simple enough command, Loki figured. If he started slow, maybe he could reign in his pathetic neediness and focus solely on your pleasure.
“Okay, I can do that.” The speaker went quiet as you presumably settled onto your bed and slipped out of your pajamas. “Now what?”
“Touch your breasts,” Loki said. His breathing was heavy, but even as he settled into the role of your instructor. “Rub your fingers across them, tell me how it feels.”
You sighed happily. “It feels really nice. Can you tell me what you’re doing?”
Loki was a bit ashamed to admit that he was currently grinding into a pillow, but figured there was no point in lying. “I’m, uh, I have a pillow between my legs, and I’m rubbing against it.”
A whimper burst from your lips. “Oh, that’s so hot.”
“Is it?” Loki asked hesitantly. He didn’t feel very attractive; slick trousers and sweat coated skin, fighting hard to hold it together.
“Yeah, fuck. Can I touch myself, please?”
Loki wanted to drag it out a bit longer, to tease you, but he couldn’t find it in himself to say no to that pretty voice. Especially when you asked so nicely. “Go ahead, pet. You’re such a good girl.”
There was a faint slick sound, then a drawn out moan. Loki groaned in response, the sound extracting a full body shiver from the god. He had never heard such alluring sounds of pleasure, you were just so far above any other being he had ever met. “That’s it,” he murmured in encouragement.
“Feels so good,” you said, voice growing high pitched. “Shit, I’m not gonna last too long. Ah, fuck. Been needing this all night.”
Loki sucked in a breath and began to thrust with more fervor. His eyes nearly rolled back at the pressure and his thighs squeezed around the pillow. “That’s okay, darling. I, oh--” Loki cut himself off with a strangled moan as his pleasure mounted. “I need to cum, too.”
For a moment, panting and whimpered moans were the only thing coming through the speaker. Loki prayed that you were as close as he was, because the coil tightening in his stomach threatened to snap at any moment. It was all he could do to keep from allowing his release to overtake him before you got yours. “Please, pet. I want to hear you cum,” he ground out as his eyes fell shut.
“So close,” you whined. “Loki, I’m gonna cum.”
He couldn’t help it. Loki’s control disintegrated as he began rutting into the pillow like a wild animal. His hips moved in sharp, quick thrusts, and quiet moans left his lips with every movement. ‘Cum--fuck, mm--cum for me, love.” He was going to cum, he couldn’t stop. He just needed you to finish first.
The phone crackled as you let out a sharp cry of pleasure. Loki listened in a trance, trying to memorize every noise that left your lips as you climaxed. Your sounds spurred him on, and he found himself tipping over the edge, cumming harder than he had in a long time. Pleasure whited out his vision, and Loki could faintly hear himself whining your name in a broken voice. He didn’t get the chance to be embarrassed about the noise; his cock pulsed in dizzying waves of euphoria, spurting out rope after rope of hot cum. It shot into his pants, soaking them all the way through and seeping into the pillow. It wasn’t until the last drop had left his body that he was finally able to stop the groans that had been bubbling up from his throat.
As the pleasure subsided, Loki sagged against the bed and took in the mess he had made. His pants were ruined, no doubt about that. And the pillow? Well, it would most likely need a few good washes. But he felt sated, too relaxed to even care about the cum drying to his thighs.
“Are you still there?”
Fuck, he had almost forgotten that you were still on the phone. “Yes,” he croaked out. “That was…”
“Amazing,” you finished for him. Though you couldn’t see him, Loki nodded in agreement.
The bed suddenly felt very large and very empty after the daze of Loki’s orgasm faded. He found himself wishing that you were here, so he could wrap his arms around that perfect waist and bury his nose in your hair. It was an incredibly foreign feeling; Loki had never been one to cuddle after sex. But then again, everything about you was different. You were special. Loki opened his mouth, ready to invite you to his room, but something stopped him. What if this had been just a spur of the moment thing for you? What if you only saw him as a tool to get yourself off?
“Would it be weird if I came down there?” You asked, startling Loki out of his thoughts. There you went again, calming his anxieties before he even had the chance to feel them.
A relieved grin broke out on his face, and his heart sped up again in excitement. “No, I would very much enjoy that.” And for the first time in a very long time, Loki felt wanted.
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