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marshmallowprotection · 4 years ago

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Kait Reacts To The AE 9/?

Hi! These reactions are written out every time a Chatroom opens and it’s done over the course of the day. So, you’re watching me react in real time as it is for me. So, Spoilers AHOY. Expect Another post like this later today, there is just too many chats to put it all in one post. So, hey, if you click this, you’re opening yourself to spoilers, you make the choice.

[16:25]

Rika isn’t happy to say the least. I mean, what do you expect? She’s a path of destruction and a downward spiral that we can’t ignore. We can’t ignore it cause we are at the mercy of that destruction. It’s a really short chat because she has a lot on her mind from what she saw earlier.

The little glass house that he was trying to build for herself huh? Yeah, that’s crumbling because she seems to know very that she’s got no control over him anymore and that’s not what she wants. She wants him to be pliable. Mailable. She just wants him to be the way that Ray was, honestly, I note that from the start of the chat. The Ray that we knew and loved at the start that’s now apart of GE Saeran.

She wants him to break. She wants him to bow his head and listen and he’s not going to do that. I don’t imagine he ever will again. He doesn’t want to do that and that’s that. She leaves the chatroom really quickly, though, I can sense that something isn’t right. When people like this tend to get angry and mad about the loss of control over people, they tend to—

Lash out.

I’m actually really proud of Saeran. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t about forgive or judge. He doesn’t want to waste his energy loathing or living or stewing in the pain. That doesn’t mean that he doesn’t feel it. He knows that pain and he very well knows it. He knows this like the back of his hand. He knows what it feels like to used, to be manipulated, to be hurt, and so on and so forth. He looks at Rika, and he just simply says it like it is. He saw what he did. He saw what Rika did, and he is aware of the... connection.

Rika pushed him to hurt in the same ways that she hurt. The difference is that he was able to realize he was wrong. The need to put up walls and to be strong, to hurt before you are hurt. He knows that feeling very well. He knows what that is because he did it himself, and he’s still apologizing and trying to make up for that fact every single day. He knows that forgiveness isn’t given easily, but we gave it to him and he wants to prove he was worthy of that.

He wants to be better, not just for me.

Not just for others.

It’s for himself. He knows what it feels like to be angry and trapped in this cycle of endless trauma, this endless struggle to be the strongest you can be to stop people from leaving you or hurting you or what have you. It hurts him to be that way, it hurts him to hurt others, it hurts him to do... that. He doesn’t want to be that way ever again. Rather, he wants to be happy. To be happy, he has to admit his mistakes and grow from that.

He has to be willing to reflect inward as well as outward.

It’s better to admit when you’ve made a mistake because then you can grow from it and become a better person. While he doesn’t like Rika or want to be near her, he does offer her some advice and it was very kind of him to do that because he doesn’t owe her shit. He just sees her suffering in this hatred and tells her why he is the way he is, and why when he and Ray came together, they learned from that and became who they are right now.

That’s all he has to say.

And Rika flips the hell out. She wants him to be angry and lash out but he’s not doing that. She wants him to hate her and she wants to see him spark with rage and anger all the time. Loathe her. Give her fire and reason to exist. This is all that she knows. She stops, “What if I do something worse to you? You’ll hate me then, won’t you?!”

Saeran, “It doesn’t matter if you do.”

“Don’t lie to me!” she shouts at him with burning in her eyes, “I know what you’re thinking. You’ll hate me! You’ll loathe me—”

“If you keep telling yourself that now... you’ll make yourself the greatest victim of all,” Saeran says. “If I get to choose what I do before I die. I want to choose to be understanding instead of hating others. I’m not saying I love you, or hate you. Sorry I changed.”

Then she fucking breaks down in tears and admits that she’s been selfish to him. She has been claiming she’s been taking care of others when all she’s been doing is torturing them. She claims that she still wants to be loved and her inner child is hurting. Her body is too big for the love she craves. She’s scared of being left behind or rejected. She says, “It’s all because I was an orphan that nobody ever wanted. I thought it would repeat forever and ever.”

Saeran stops her before she can finish. “Can I ask you something? I know you just got back but...”

“What?”

“I... I want some ice cream.”

Now that was a lot.

I’m proud of Saeran, point blank. He’s handling this much better than I do with his abuser. He’s the bigger person and he keeps his cool. I’m proud of him but I don’t trust Rika. She spiraled but she’s not turning over to our side. I don’t trust that. I don’t trust her. She’s too dangerous and volatile. She’s going to crack at some point and honestly.

I’m kind of worried about the one big secret that remains. Is she going to break down and admit what she did to Mother Choi? She literally said that was the very moment that she gave up on everything and let herself do things without looking back or questioning the good or bad in it. She just acted. So, I have to wonder if that secret will be revealed...

I don’t know.

It might make matters worse.

[17:55]

I’m a bit complicated. I know that Saeran has decided not to lash out at Rika, it is out of pity, more than anything. He hasn’t forgiven her but he’s being the bigger person and that’s respectable. Rika has... done a 180 degree turn in a matter of minutes and that’s not okay. Listen, things don’t change that fast. If you move too fast and don’t even think it through, something is going to go wrong here. I do not know if it’s... if she’s going to lose her mind about something or if she’s going to reveal the truth.

I don’t know if she’s going to crack here. I honestly cannot tell what’s going to happen with Rika. It’s too calm, it’s too fast, and it’s too simple. I’m not going to be tricked or led to believe that she’s going to turn around this fast. Nope, that is not how this works. Let me just show the two moments that let me know again all I need to know:

She’s saying that she’s grateful Saeran hit her with a callout post. She says that she’s grateful that he’s being “kind.” She gets that he just looks at her as someone he wants to understand in some kind of way, but one day she hopes that she’ll be able to draw a smile out of him the same caliber that we do for him and that’s...We all know this isn’t going to last.

Any shift that Rika has had is going to be broken the minute that Saeyoung and I are meant to escape and I’m honestly... fearful. Rika has blacked out in self-defense before and killed someone. We all know who she killed. We all know that this is somehow going to tie together somehow. I don’t know how but this is just my suspicion!

And then she hit me with the good old:

Don’t worry, Saeran swapped the secure chat on when she left. He said the RFA can join the safe chat now, and that they could be seeing that we’re talking to one another right now... and he begins to do this again, telling me that he’s going to leave. He doesn’t want me to be said. But, I��m sad. I know that this isn’t really what he wants but he doesn’t see anything else...

He’s willing to be selfless if it protects others. I know that feeling very well, but it is hard to be this type of person when someone does it to you. Honestly, if the boys were both awake, we, all three, would be having a bickering match about who should stay behind because my dumbass would be saying leave me while they be free, Saeyoung would disagree that Saeran and I should leave, and Saeran would say that no, Saeyoung and I should leave because he can survive this.

He... says that when he looks at the clouds, he thinks of me now. We know that he value that freedom. I try. I try to plead with him. I can’t accept it, that’s not how to get the good ending, at least, that’s what I think. I’m literally doing this blind without any help and I’m just following my heart. I don’t always get hearts so I’m not sure!

So, here we are... crying about the end. Well, I am. I’m still crying.

I’m not leaving you behind, Saeran. I won’t. I have to find a way to make this work and I have to find a way to protect you. I don’t know what I’m going to do but I have to try.

I’m not sure if we’re in the same room as Saeran when this happens, but V comes into the room. He suddenly says that he wants to release Saeran. He said that Rika said to do it. He asks if he runs. V said, “The agents will catch you if you try. You will not be going anywhere. But.. I guess Rika trusts you.”

V looks strained.

“What?”

“It’s nothing.”

V calls after this.

V actually agrees with me that Rika changed too fast. Well, I can see even in your darkness and worst self, you know that she’s progressing a way that isn’t good. He says that he failed Rika because he was too scared to tell her to her face what he felt. Rika’s change is welcome, he says, but he has his doubts on this. He and V need to reflect, he says. He just wishes that things are going to be peaceful after Saejoong. He says something odd after I ask if his plan is going to work. “You sound as if there is something I am unaware of.”

V, I don’t trust you.

He says that he wants to help Rika, but honestly, this isn’t the way. What’s worse is that he’s starting to imply something that builds onto my fear of what Rika is most guilty of. The murder is a big deal. I’m not gonna lie. That was what she called her moment of no return. So, you know. He knows. I know. This isn’t going to be the same very soon.

Yeah. I thought so.

Anyways. I called Saeran after this and I got a very lengthy call with him. I did cry about it. He talks about the stars... he wishes he could share the view with the three of us. I ask him if he wants to say anything to Saeyoung, what would he ask if we were together like this? He says... well, I find himself drawn to the Gemini constellation. I often imagine... what he may think when he sees it. I say that he would think of him. Saeran is worried that he might be annoyed, but I know him. Saeyoung would never.

Saeran sighs. “Yeah, you spent more time with him then I did. He gave up everything for me. I hope he becomes free. I hope that he can go on rides... I know he loves cars. One day fly away far in a spaceship... get some ice cream... I’m sure he’d love exploring. I hope that he explores all kinds of places for me. I hope that he tells himself that I see what he sees when he sees the stars, and the Gemini.

And now, Saeran has got me fucking sobbing again. I swear to go, I keep fucking getting upset and crying. I haven’t been okay since 11:11AM. I cannot even express words right now. I’m just crying because I love him so much and all of this. Magenta... Ray... Suit Saeran... Saeray. I’m just... I. You can see what I mean here. I was crying and I stupid laughed when he brought up those times in the past.

He was always there when I needed him.

[19:09]

Saeran isn’t tied up anymore. That’s good. Rika let him go free from the chains and that’s... okay. She’s still... you know? She even jests that she may consider talking to the agency for a moment to let me stay, but I know that’s a farce. She doesn’t want that. The second that you say you don’t want it, she just turns it right back against you and says that she can not involve you in this, and yeah, it isn’t a surprise. Rika has always said what people want to hear. I don’t trust her change for a second.

She asks if we’ll talk after this. V logins in before I can answer. I say that it’s a relief that things have “loosened” up. V goes, “Was it vicious before?” Really? You are gonna say that when you drugged Saeyoung in front of you? Really? In front of my brother in law? REALLY?

V very clearly doesn’t trust this change in Rika. He has to ask if she really is okay. I hate that I snorted at this. I really do. It’s not funny.

V asks why it never worked when they were together, then. She says that she was too scared of what everyone would think when they knew who she really was but now she doesn’t have that. Everyone knows what she really is and who she really is. Saeran “only wanted to be nice to me. He’ll be nice, that’s how he has decided to live now.”

Unlike Saejoong.

Rika asks me I think that she’ll pay the price. What is that price? She says that she is ready for the waves to crash.

I doubt it.

You’re still hiding something.

V says that he wants to have the surgery to fix his eye after they make up with Saeyoung, and Rika goes, “I’m sorry. But, hey, I should go ahead and book it for you since that’s going to happen either way!”

Then she leaves, and I’m stuck with V again. I have a sinking feeling in my damn gut and oh my fucking GOD. WHY AM I RIGHT AGAIN?! “Rika has a secret. It is a big one. I don’t know if things wil hold... if Saeran learns the truth. But, I think it is time. I think it’s time to talk about the truth. I need to see if this sweet hope is actually something that I can manifest.”

He leaves the chatroom and the Visual novel starts. He takes Saeran out of the room to talk. Saeran doesn’t want to because it’s getting late and we only have so much time together but... V notes that something is off. But, Saeran talks fast and wants his answers to what this is about. V sighs, saying that they cannot talk where Rika can hear them. He asks Saeran if he thinks that Rika has really changed or not.

Saeran asks why he went back to her... was it to make her secure? He has to admit that he doesn’t understand V. He wants to know why he left all of that and if it’s really because he... doesn’t want to be his father and do what he did to his mother, you know? V says... kind of, but there’s more to it than that. V wants his answers to something. Maybe the guilt of who Rika is now. He only knew the change from Rika. That’s why he always followed after her. He knows that it’s dumb and that he’s being stupid. Jihyun admits that he’s done wrong, he went and protected a criminal and hurt his friends.

Saeran says, “Well you must be curious yourself then if you’re willing to risk all of that.”

V says, “Well, I’m deformed. You know that.”

“It took you two a while to get here,” Saeran says.

“I’m not sure if we are there or if you can say there is an US,” V says.

Have they changed? Will they ever know? He’s afraid but he wants to see the burns through until the end. Saeran scoffs, “The way that you love is dangerous and bizarre.”

“I’m deformed,” he repeats. “That’s why I’m attracted to this, I suppose.”

V admits that he heard what Rika and Saeran talked about. He heard it and he wonders about this. Does he really mean this? Does he mean that he will stay the way he is now if he knows? If he knows that there is something more? Will he stay the same even if there is something horrible about Rika? Will he forgive her? Will he forgive V?

That’s his Question.

Saeran, “There’s something I’m not aware of?”

V, “...If you can treat her well even after learning the very last fault, she will change. I know it. So... would you?”

FUCKING KNEW IT. FUCKING CALLED IT. I WAS RIGHT. I WAS FUCKING RIGHT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. Rika is going to crack when the secret is going to be revealed, oh my God, what is going to happen in the two chats that are left at the end of the day? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING TO HAPPEN?

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tenderpoison · 4 years ago

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we’ve come to the end of our time.

to make a long story short, i've been accused of stalking and harassment within the roleplay community. my accuser is an ex-friend, someone who ended our relationship about a year ago for reasons they blocked me before i could fully understand ( but to the extent that i do understand them, i genuinely believe them to have been a matter of miscommunication ). my decision in the last year to keep my roleplaying primarily away from tumblr was a result of this situation combined with my poor health at the time.

the nature of the accusations concerns my repeated viewing of my accuser's blog, an action to which i'm fully willing to own up. my accuser has a history of nasty vagues and namedrops, against me and others. i do not consider it stalking to view what's being said about me in a public space, especially as i have a right to also feel comfortable within that space. in my opinion, if you decide to bully someone openly on your public social media, you can no longer tell them they're not permitted to view your content.

my accuser obviously disagrees with me on this point. after a year of no communication and no interaction with their posts ( in excess of the two messages i sent them, spaced months apart, to let them know i was still confused, hurt and seeking closure over what happened ), they came into my private messages with this conversation, which i really think speaks for itself. since then, the situation has become untenable.

the clinching factor for me in deciding to leave was some days later, after more vagues, when i snapped and sent an anon out of anger. it wasn't nasty, but it did express my feelings, and i knew they would know it was me. part of me knew i was burning a bridge; part of me wanted to offer one last chance to show some kind of mercy or understanding. that didn't happen, obviously.

i knew sending the anon was wrong, but i really did feel backed into a corner. i don't like feeling that way, so i'm stopping. moreover, somebody needs to show some empathy in this situation, and my accuser has been open about the fact that my presence is a legitimate trigger for them. i don't want to be stuck in a place where i feel provoked into lashing out and triggering people on purpose---that's a horrible thing to go through for both parties.

i also can't feel safe in a public space where people are allowed to talk as much shit as they want about me without anybody pointing out that it's kind of fucked up, or allowed to make spaces where they can talk shit about me and i'm not permitted to see what was said ( let alone defend myself ).

this is farewell, but i'm open to private conversations with anyone who needs anything clarified or who would like to exchange contact info. i continue to exist in various forms, as does plumeria.

last words: live by your values and question the compassion of your actions. there's nothing shameful about being human, remember that.

addendum: the original draft of this post was written before my accuser posted a callout about me, which you can find here if you're interested in the details of the above situation. it is presented from my accuser's perspective.

the thing about this callout is that i could methodically go through it and argue how each instance my accuser cites occurred within context that's not accurately presented here, including many opportunities i gave them for communication over the course of our relationship. i thought about doing that, but i changed my mind because i decided that the only people who really need that context either already have it or can ask for it in private, without an argument on the dash. i'm comfortable with facing the consequences of my actions, even if that means some people will read what i said and judge me harshly for it.

frankly, my accuser is allowed to talk about their experience openly and publicly within their own community, and it's the community's responsibility to handle the situation with respect. they are entitled to support and to be heard, even if they express themself poorly or harshly. i worry when i see receipts presented out of context that the person posting them may feel they need to distort what really happened to them in order to feel justified in what they're doing. but that's not true; the only reason someone needs to end a relationship or reach out for support ( even in a way some might not agree with ) is that they felt uncomfortable or hurt.

in a way i'm thankful to my accuser for the callout as it gives me some much-needed closure about the actual reasoning behind our friendship ending. that's actually information i can use going forward and i can't help but regret not having it before.

at any rate, everything i said above still holds. love one another. be at peace. hit up my discord if you want to. don't go chasing waterfalls, stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to.

#out of sanity.#drama.#[anyway back to my peaceful gay life of abundance and being beloved by people who take the time to understand me]

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artificiary-fr · 5 years ago

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ok so arti’s unnecessary opinion time

Just wanna give a disclaimer that these are just my sort of thoughts in general, and are in no way an attempt to demean, attack, or cause drama about any artist or staff member, or community member. Just kind of what I’ve observed and come to the questions/conclusions of. I got a little opinionated at the end but I tried not to single anyone out save for I think, one unnamed example?

I’ll put everything under the cut here, because I know I have a tendency to get wordy (and spoiler: It did. This is a super long post, I’m sorry). So, here we go...

TL;DR: I like the gene, I’ll wait for the revamp before giving a concrete opinion, there were definitely some issues, I appreciate that staff took note/action, more communication like this or the dev streams is good (though communication between staff/community is a Thing unto itself of which I probably have a Disliked Take on and that was the really long part that isn’t necessary to read)

Okay before anything: the familiars. They’re super pretty! I like the recolors, and now I’m gonna have to grind the Kelp Beds for those boss fams. Dang. I love the kitty golem recolor.

With that out of the way, here we are - the subject of today’s discussions... Glowtail.

So, my first opinion: It’s not a bad gene! I can see some curious use for it, certainly. But there are some problems with it (and yes; I am aware staff has addressed this and pulled it to fix those problems! That’ll be more relevant later on here c: )

Note One: I think I do understand why it is a gem gene. Yes, design/thematically it does appear to fit the bill of a Baldwin Gene more. But I’d like to posit it’s the completion of a gem-gene set - Wasp/Bee/Glowtail. So in that regard, it makes sense!

Note Two: My personal opinion with the gene is that I like it, but it feels... hm. Plain isn’t correct. Like it’s missing something, I guess? I wish the segmenting was a little more prominent, and that the glow or gradient had a little more glitz/glamor, maybe some glitteries around the hips, to really sell it as a gem gene. I do like the glow we have on the other bits of dragon like light reflection, though, because it adds a little bit of dimension! All in all however even so, I do like it, and I won’t cement my opinion until we see what their updated version looks like in the future.

Note Three (The Problems): The art errors. What... what happened here?

As we’ve noticed, male snappers and male tundras are the two big offenders, with large chunks of color erroneously sitting outside the lineart quite noticeably. There is also part of the ‘glow’ (the aforementioned light reflection) that doesn’t make sense - being on parts of the dragon where it shouldn’t be, like on the front of wings where the tail is not in front of said limb, but behind.

But like... how did this not get caught before it got posted? Was it a time crunch, or it just... didn’t get quality checked before this happened? It’s really unfortunate. :c

Something I do with my art - and this is just my own process/thoughts - is when I’ve put down the base color, before I do any shading/highlights/big details, I pop a layer underneath the entire drawing and fill it with a high contrast color to the palette. That way any bits where I missed coloring in - or didn’t clean up outside the lines - becomes super noticeable, and I can fix it then instead of being a problem later. Maybe doing something like this before throwing the gene through the color automation process would’ve helped?

Last Note:

I feel like part of why these errors went unnoticed is because of how often, and sometimes how rushed, some of these updates have been - and this has been more noticeable in this year than otherwise. Is it because of community dissent with wanting more updates creating more crunch? Due to low-attention reticence creating a need for pushing more ad revenue / more “come to the site there’s new”?

I’m unsure, but it’s unfortunate nonetheless. I think staff, and FR as a whole, would benefit from like... hm. How to word this...

Maybe taking more time on updates / a more extended schedule so things aren’t as crunch (of course this being said, I don’t know what the workload is like so I can’t even say if crunch is applicable), and more open communication? Like how the dev streams were going - that was pretty well liked and everyone I know got pretty excited to see em and how the art was doing. It also opened up the avenue for more open communication / more nuanced opinions or thoughts.

---

But herein lies the huge issue, I think, with communication. This is the part where I’d like to reiterate, this is just my observations, and is not intended as an attack, a vaguepost, or deliberate callout at anybody. There’s no malicious intent here. This bit could also be construed as drama I suppose, and I apologize for that because again - not the intent. Just my take.

I’ve noticed posts going ‘no drama please’ or being tired when new updates come out of like, ‘oh boy here comes the negativity’ so I don’t think it’s just me who’s seen it, but have you guys noticed when anything new comes out, there’s an immediate rush of extreme salt and negativity?

And I don’t mean posts where its like “it’s not for me” or “I don’t like it but here’s [detailed/explained reason why]” - those are the nuanced opinions I mean. Those are fine. I mean the ones where people in forums, or on the more prolific drama blogs, are just.... mean/empty? Like “FUCK staff I hate how lazy they are with this it’s shitty looking” - that really vocal generally super salty in general minority of the community. Just hate without explanation, or just kind of aimless generalized attack/complaint.

I think that’s where communication with Staff fell off the bandwagon. The really loud, really vocal minority of folks who throw super salt or yell “This Sucks You Suck” completely overshadow the people who are well intentioned with sharing their opinions or problems/criticisms. The toxic bits and really vitriolic words are what gets seen and noticed. I think this is the majority of what gets heard, which is why communication got so closed off / shut down unless positive, in recent times. Do I agree with that? No, I don’t either - but I’m just looking at this from the outside. Idk how staff feels or thinks.

And this goes for both people who don’t like the content, and people that do.

Remember that the Keel thread got locked because someone who was white-knighting started getting real nasty with people in the thread, and going to extremes insulting artists who did mock-ups to help visualize their thoughts/opinions and was just being a real douche?

What I really wish was that we could have more open communication. Some of the things I really liked to see were like: Dev Streams, Community Updates/Q&A, Opinion Polls, That Update Progress on Breed/Gene Progress from a while back. All of that was excellent. And I like to see the community responding in well thought out ways! I like to see staff more hands on too! We’re only human and love this site and our dragons and want to see it at it’s best - but they’re also only human, and make mistakes, and we don’t know what’s goin on in there, just out here.

Trello is a really good way to kind of show that communication, and is transparent, but isn’t free-to-use for businesses, so... of course I also don’t know how Stormlight Workshop runs their business/hours so I’m just blowing hot smoke. But anyway, I think everyone would benefit from slowing down and opening up. If things are going slow, that’s okay - if Staff opens up to the community and says “This is taking longer than expected, but here’s upcoming releases / current in-progresses” I think we’d be like oh okay things are happening and it’ll be nice! As compared to everyone gets super antsy, nothing’s happening, no-one is talking... and then we get hit with a bunch of updates, some of which, like today’s, have... issues.

Of course then I worry that with more open talking or “we’re experiencing delays” the more vitriolic will get even angrier/saltier which doesn’t... help... but I mean... yeah.

ANYWAY so I’ve written a full dissertation essay here without really intending to (see? I warned y’all! I ramble/don’t shut up ahahaha) so I’m gonna just stop myself here before I start going in circles. This last chunk I don’t really know what the meat of what I was trying to say was, now, I think. Sorry about that. It was just “here’s my stream of consciousness” apparently ^^;;;;

Have a good evening y’all! Thanks for listenin’ to my (rant?) if y’all made it this far. You’re appreciated and thank you for letting me bend your ears! Stay safe in this crazy world, hang in there, and have a good one!

#so i wrote a literal novel under the cut most of which can probably be ignored #but i do wanna say im not attacking the community in defense of staff #staff has made missteps and mistakes and doesn't handle some things the way they should #im just noting some things ive noticed that i feel like correlate #am i gonna make people really mad at me? oh probably #i hope not but idk #arti parties #update opinion #long post

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ritahasaproblem · 6 years ago

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If you want to write about ermal and fabri playing a drinking game like "never have i ever..." and they confess their feelings while playing i would love it! And thank you in advance for trying!!

Ahsjdksk thank YOU for giving me this prompt!!! I’m posting from my phone so lets hope my newfound skill with html doesn’t abandon me lmaoAlso sorry for the delay i’m super slow sigh ;; hope you like it 💖💖

let’s set the scene: it’s the 8th of july, the gig was cancelled due to bad weather, they’re all having a drink after dinner at the hotel’s bar

And Ermal is torn, because on the one hand he hates not performing, he hates disappointing his fans

on the other hand, he gets to spend a lot more time with Fabrizio than he would have had they performed

and he feels guilty as hell, because he had never thought such things before, for anyone

it doesn’t help that Bizio is his usual touchy self and boi, did he miss him

so they’re all laughing, drinks in hand, and Vige is telling Claudio about the last time he had to cover for Ermal not remembering his own songs, when Fabrizio approaches him from the side, “I wish I could’ve been there, at the concert”

“I know you had the kids, don’t worry, and with Libero’s tryouts you really had to be there”

Fabrizio lights up and starts talking about the children

Ermal is: so. Fucking. Smitten. He knows this, it’s not like he doesn’t, but sometimes even he can feel his own face go soft good lord this is embarassing

i promise i’m getting to the point soon

So, to wake himself from the trance he’s gotten himself into, he tries to joke. “Cherish this, soon enough he’ll be out there playing drinking games and you’ll have to drag his hungover ass out of bed on sunday mornings”

Bizio is: confused, and it shows

“Don’t tell me you never played never have i ever” “…” “Okay, neither have i, i just know it from my sister, she was the cool kid in school”

But, you know, it’s never too late to find your inner teenage self and get desperately drunk in front of your crush, so Ermal buys two bottles of red wine (“there’s no way i’m buying whiskey to get us drunk in a silly game, Montanari”), gets everyone except Max and the Sheriff (idk if he was there but let’s pretend he was) to agree to play the game, and they go up to his room

(i mean, “everyone”: it’s just him, Bizio, Claudio, Marco and Vige, most of their respective bands didn’t come to the thing)

It starts with gentle teasing, Marco saying “never have i ever forgot the lyrics of my own songs” (which *is* a dick move but it is also general enough that all three of the singers have to drink)

it gets progressively more personal, as these things are wont to do

First is “worn mismatched socks during a work meeting”, then “puked in the middle of a love confession”

Then Claudio (who was the one the last sentence was referring to) goes “Never have i even kissed another man on the mouth”

“I’ve kissed you at least three times, Clà, you should drink too” “ I meant french kissing”

“oh okay” Bizio says, taking his sip, nonplussed

And that’s how Ermal discovers that Fabrizio has made out with men.

Naturally, he’s taken his sip too, and Bizio looks at him oddly, like he’s rearranging everything he knows inside his brain

listen, i know the common headcanon is “Fabrizio is the first man Ermal has been attracted to” but i cannot stop thinking about rien de va plus that song has no heterosexual explanation and was written kind of loooong before they knew each other so

“Just the once or…?” asks Fabrizio. Ermal is both confused and relieved, because this way he has a good excuse to ask in return. “Well, usually more than once, i’m not that bad of a kisser”

du d e . he says it with self-deprecation but Bizio.exe just stopped working I MEAN WHO WOULD STILL WORK AFTER THAT

“What about you?” “A few times, when i was younger. I just don’t like to label myself, if i fall in love with a woman it’s fine, but if i like a man it’s also fine, capito?”

c a p i t o

[“I also took a sip, why is no one interested in my story?” “do you really want to go there, Vige?”]

After a few minutes of intense staring and one pausa sigaretta, the game goes on (as does the staring tbh but they both try to be subtle about it) (“try” being the key word here)

“never have i ever got so drunk i started waxing poetics about True Love and how magical it must be to meet The One” says Marco, to which Vige replies with “never have i ever had a crush on someone i was working with”, which is clearly a callout to Marco, since he and his girlfriend sort of worked together on her band for a while (y'all really don’t wanna know how i know that, so don’t ask) but OH WELL LOOK WHO’S ALSO DRINKING

Fabrizio, that’s who’s drinking.

Also Ermal, because he’s honest enough not to deny his crush and he’s tipsy enough to be honest, but that’s beside the point

“Was it Bianca?”

“Why the fuck does everyone think i’ve been with Bianca? No, we’ve always been just friends”

“She’s hot, you’re hot, seems natural you’d be all over each other”

Everyone else: is quietly trying to escape without being heard (spoiler: they succeed because the two idiots are too engrossed in each other)

“You’re hot too, yet you don’t seem to be all over me either”

‘SEEM’ BEING THE KEY WORD HERE, BIZIO

Ermal.exe stopped working MR STARK I DON’T FEEL SO GOOD

“You….. Think i’m hot?”

“Who doesn’t?” Fabrizio chuckles nervously. “And what about you? I saw you drink. Any of our colleagues that caught your eye?”

Oh boi

“Uhm. No. Well. Yes. But also no. It’s- it’s difficult Fabrì”

Listen. They’ve been drinking for an hour, he’s not thinking straight -not that he ever really has, tbh

“I mean, if you’re crushing on Fiorella i get it, but she’s happily married, you have no chance” jokes Fabrizio, noticing his discomfort. “Also i got there first, i get to court her before you”

“Then i really have no chance, there’s no way anyone would turn you down”

That’s when Bizio drops the bomb, whispering “Not even you?” without looking up from his glass of wine.

“well, i did say 'anyone’, Bizio ” replies Ermal, heart thundering in his ears, voice as low as the other singer’s.

“Oh”

“Told you it was complicated”

“Soooo” starts the other man. Ermal sees him getting up from the floor where they were all sitting and feels cold dread in his gut. Great. He spent the longest time avoiding this and now he’s driven Fabrizio away.

But no, the other singer is just coming beside him, sitting so near their thighs touch, a shy smile on his face. “If i were to do this” he murmurs, slowly caressing his arm with one finger, skin to skin, making them both sigh, maybe in relief, maybe from the nerves; it’s so clearly a flirty gesture it makes him breathe a little faster. “If I were to do this” Fabrizio keeps saying, leaving it hypothetical when there is nothing hypothetical about his hand travelling from his wrist to his shoulder and back, “would it be okay?”

It’s just a hand on his arm, but it somehow feels more exciting than a lot of the first kisses he had shared with others, goosebumps on his skin

“if i were to do this?” asks again, intertwining their fingers.

Fabrizio is staring at his face, a soft, playful smile; his eyes are searching, tho, looking for any sign of discomfort, even if Ermal knows he won’t find any

he’s probably smiling like a lunatic, and that must be the right signal, because Fabrizio balances himself on his thigh with the unoccupied hand and descends to kiss his neck, just a tiny peck

“And this?” he says, against his skin, and it tickles a bit, so he has to laugh as he answers “You do that all the time already” while squeezing his hand

“Maybe I want to do it more” he replies, as he kisses his neck again, this time a little higher, then another kiss, on his jaw, and Ermal feels like he’s floating, he doesn’t know if it’s the wine or the words or the kisses

“Maybe I’d let you”

And the way Fabrizio’s face lights up in an honest smile is making him feel Things, things like butterflies in his stomach, like his heart is about to burst, like the world is just the two of them. And this time he lets himself get lost in the feelings, in the knowledge that he’s allowed to want this, how fucking lucky he is

All the while Fabrizio has been staring at him, always that soft, fond smile, a hand on his cheek, another in his own.

“Nothing else you might attempt?” asks Ermal, once he has sorted out his feelings long enough. “You know, you’re already con un piede nella fossa (="with one foot inside your grave”, super old), and I’m not getting any younger either. You’ll have all the time you want to get acquainted to my neck, later"

Fabrizio laughs, eyes crinkling, touching Ermal’s forehead with his own.

“Okay then” he says, before kissing him.

[later, when at three am Ermal will wake him to announce triumphantly “SO I AM THE ONE YOU HAD A CRUSH ON!!!!!” he will almost laugh. Before throwing a pillow at his head, that is.]

#metamoro #metamoro headcanon #i bulletpoint imbarazzanti #boi am i slow #i never played this game and FUCK DOES IT SHOW

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renaramblesaboutcomics · 7 years ago

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Wednesday Roundup 11.10.2017

It’s that time of a week again where I prove to be nothing if not a complete glutton for punishment, which apparently includes having way too many trades preordered on the same week by magical coincidence. It’s like the old saying, when it rain it pours. And sometimes it’s just ridiculous.

But we’re seeing the closing a few storylines, the beginning of a few, and just a general large array of comics at our disposal, including more of the Marvel Primers. So I say we just dig right into it.

Marvel’s All-New Wolverine, Marvel’s Amazing Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows, DC’s Batgirl and the Birds of Prey, Marvel’s Captain America, Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy, Marvel’s Immortal Iron Fists, DC’s New Super-Man, Image’s Rat Queens, DC’s Red Hood and the Outlaws, Marvel’s Runaways, Marvel’s Spider-Man: Miles Morales, IDW’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Universe

Marvel’s All-New Wolverine (2015-present) #25 Tom Taylor, Juann Cabal, Nolan Woodard

Will I ever run out of good things to say about All-New Wolverine? No? Good. I wouldn’t want to be dishonest and that would be the only way I’d have negative things to say about my love for this series.

Story: So believe it or not, the relationship between Daken and Laura is something I have desperately wanted to see more of. In the Daken/X-23 crossover they had a few years ago, I really felt like we got somewhere with their relationship, and the bits and pieces since then have really helped my attitude only grow stronger on the subject. So seeing Taylor hint at it growing more in the last arc, and knowing it would be delivered on in this arc has me SO excited about what is to come.

You know. When Daken is around for more than an awesome bar fight that... leads to his dismembered arm being hung from a bridge. THAT old plot device. I’m a little sad to see that Gabby is being left behind (especially since her outfits never cease being adorable and hilarious) but knowing that we’re dealing with Mutant Bigots this time around somewhat made me appreciate that decision. I worry way too much about Gabby to take that at face value.

And then that cliffhanger hits like a freight train and it’s like WHAAAAT. But no like what. Oh my god. Is this real? I know we have to wait a month but. uh. Kudos, Tom Taylor. I am not often surprised by characters seemingly returning from the dead anymore. To say this was not expected is VASTLY underplaying my shock.

Art: There have been a lot of great artists on this title and I don’t think Juann Cabal is an exception to that rule. He has solid character art, lots of good control of backgrounds and paneling, and got pretty inventive with combining flashbacks with Laura’s current travels and actions. And the bar scene with Daken was just fantastic all around like, a simple but highly effective action sequence and I’m really excited to see what action he’ll draw Laura herself in as we carry on.

Marvel’s Amazing Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows (2016-present) #12 Ryan Stegman, Brian Level, Jesus Aburtov

We wrap up another storyline of what has quickly become my favorite Spidey series of the ‘10s and it comes with highest of highs and lowest of lows. And lots and lots of adorable hugs.

Story: I was concerned that with the pacing we had had for this storyline up to this point that there would be a lot of things that would have to be knitted together a bit too tight or not at all, and that definitely seemed to be the case. We flew through this issue with revelations hitting in waves. Ms. January was the villain all along, Normie is suddenly a perfectly normal kid who was just misled, the symbiote is removed from MJ using sonic waves, Annie saves her parents, and just overall there was a lot that happened within this single comic. It all made emotional sense, and the hug between Annie and Normie at the end, bringing their family feud at last to an end, felt completely right.

I liked small callouts like having Liz be the parent Normie needed, the X-Men coming to help the Parker family, and the amazing banter between MJ and Peter, but I think because there was so much fit into this last issue there felt like a bit of continuity bending to make logical sense where the emotions didn’t quite carry us. Like Normie’s... complete change in character. And Ms. January’s apparent obsession/love of Harry and need to avenge him. These things make sense if they fed into each other -- Ms. January’s influence inspiring Normie to cut his mother out of his life even more than she had been already and then feeding him more and more hatred toward Spider-Man by saying that it was his fault. But that doesn’t make so much sense with what we read in the issues before, specifically the issue where Normie took up arms to protect his company and revealed his backstory through his own internal monologue and flashbacks.

So while this confrontation has been 12 issues in the build up, the resolution mostly came... only from this issue. Maybe the last two issues, too, if we’re being generous.

The epilogue confuses me. It feels like Renew Your Vows is trying to wrap itself up and yet I know from solicits that it’s not, but we are justifying a timeskip to eight years in the future so that artists have an excuse to draw a teenage girl in a tighter costume -- I MEAN BECAUSE THEY WANT TO TELL MORE TEEN ORIENTED STORIES OBVIOUSLY. But I worry that this change is going to make what has been a unique take on the Parker-Watson family and turn it into Sider-Girl Lite, which is unfair to everyone all around. Also were they... not operating for those eight years? Why is the new costume a big deal for her eighteenth birthday? How much sense would it make for them to just... suddenly find a way to stop Annie from going out as a superhero with them when the whole point of the past 12 issues is that they couldn’t.

What about Dr. Connors and his son? What about Annie’s additional precognitive powers? Did she end up going to the Xavier institute?

I feel like I was asked to bite off a bit too much in this issue, and as much as I enjoyed it and enjoyed this series, I feel this is a rare storyline where I actually would have preferred an extra issue to set all of this up.

Art: The art is beautiful. Soft and textured but also sweeping and animatic like you would want for any good Spidey story. And considering that there has been a fair rotation of art teams on this book since the first issue, I really appreciate how much they worked toward giving the book a consistent style of its own. It was neat and helped even artist style changes feel coherent still and I’m really interested to see if this dedication to that continues, especially since the epilogue appeared to have a different feel to it.

It’ll be interesting to see next month either way.

DC’s Batgirl and the Birds of Prey (2016-present) #15 Julie Benson, Shawna Benson, Roge Antonio, Marcelo Maiolo

Well, I’m sure for 99% of you this is an unexpected addition to the roster. For those unaware, I have put the first volume of Batgirl and the Birds of Prey on blast on my personal blog @renaroo for having some things I consider to be insufferable in regards to the handling of Barbara and specifically the consistent villainization of Oracle. Which you know, I’m about sick of.

So why am I picking up BoP now? Simple: Cass is going to start appearing regularly beginning with this particular storyline and I will support her here since for finances I’ve had to move ‘Tec to trade wait.

and oh boy. This is. Something.

Story: So there’s this old episode of the animated Justice League series where an Amazon OC standing in for Donna Troy unleashed a plague on Earth that only affected men and it was putting all men in comas and the such and it left the only two women of a seven-person Justice League because of course there were only two women to deal with it and save the world... well half of it. It was broad strokes of feminism as written by men which included Diana being the strawwoman feminist who couldn’t understand if losing men (including her friends???) would doom society and Hawkgirl being the relatable cool egalitarian alien bird woman to be all “guuurrrrrlllll you need to respect men more”. It’s like. The episode i remember the most from my childhood and I hate it with the burning passion of a thousand suns.

Apparently I’m not the only one who remembers it however because that... that is the plot of this storyline. I don’t know why they couldn’t just bring back the ebola plague from Batman: Contagion which was a legitimately good storyline I like but we’re doing the... gender specific plague.

Are they going to address trans men and women? How is this disease preying specifically on men? Is it magical in origin and that why it follows no rules? Why is Lois here? Is Wonder Woman here just because of that Justice League episode?

I don’t know.

I appreciate that we didn’t waste a whole lot of time with Batwoman’s squad duking it out with Babsgirl’s squad over whether or not antiheroes who.... one of which she’s worked with before and... another of which she knows for a fact is... engaged to her cousin. But whatever. Also Steph in her post-Belfry uniform is... going along with this okay. I’m picking too much but there’s a lot of what in those four pages.

I do appreciate that the dialogue seemed to match everyone’s character very well, and Oliver and Dinah were hysterical and lovable together. .... But damn is it difficult to wrap my head around Babs’ character anymore. Like literally falling to her knees and tearing up begging Poison Ivy (who she was friends with in the previous BoP???? which is sitll canon bc they bring it up???) to help because “people she loves” are affected by the disease like. It’s the antithesis of the Babs I knew and was familiar with and admired in the day but. I guess that’s the Babs we have now. And I’m just... supposed to roll with it I guess.

Also enjoyed Helena being a teacher again, that was awesome. Even if her calling up Dick instead of Babs was... still difficult to process but whatever.

Art: It’s good! Really consistent, the lineart was sometimes a little softer than I prefer, but there were varied bodytypes and lots of good action sequences handled concisely enough that it didn’t feel like panel space was wasted. I really enjoyed it overall.

Marvel’s Captain America - Marvel Legacy Primer Page Robbie Thompson, Valerio Schiti

I have been pretty vocal in my disdain for how Marvel has handled Cap for the last two years and I join pretty much everyone in a chorus of “how can you misunderstand something so bad” but at the same time I’m... just tired. And it’s hard to even be excited at the fact that the reign of Spencer is over because it feels like the enjoyment and interest I’ve felt for Cap for all this time is simply used up. which is why a primer like this is really something that I needed. I needed to see a reminder that Cap punches Nazis and Hydra and Marvel -- or at least some people at Marvel remember that still. I don’t want that history gone, cosmic cubed or otherwise. And given Waid and Samnee’s interviews it seems they’re going to push for just that.

Here’s hoping they accomplish it because even these three pages of Cap acting like Cap again was enough to make me smile at least a little.

Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy - Marvel Legacy Primer Page Robbie Thompson, Marcus To

If I was going for snark and snark alone here I would begin and end this with “why is Scott Lang here” because no really why is Scott Lang with the Guardians of the Galaxy. And it’s something I shouldn’t be asking because I really have still -- even in liking the movies as much as I do -- not found myself any more persuaded to read into the space opera stuff over at Marvel. It’s just not something I want in my life right now.

Marcus To’s art is very nice, though, and usually worth it on its own. Even if I’m beginning to notice a touch of samefaceness in the art style At least it’s a very pretty face.

Marvel’s Immortal Iron Fists (2017) #6 (of 6) Kaare Andrews, Afu Chan, Shelly Ghen

Immortal Iron Fists has come to an end and I’m both saddened and yet incredibly enthusiastic about how everything turned out!

Story: So I feel like it should not have taken the better part of 5 issues for me learn that Pei and her friends are sixteen and not... middle schoolers despite how they were drawn and how they acted as way way younger than that. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that... it’s not that they’re drawn or written younger, it’s that it’s that unusual to find an American comic that actually shows teenagers appropriately and that helped me gain a whole new respect for a series that I was already very much enjoying.

Everyone coming together and remembering Pei for the impact we have seen her make in their lives, Pei fully realizing her power as Iron Fist, and the general fun of a huge climactic battle that was a three way fight between Pei, demons, and the Mother of All Dragons is probably one of the most bombastic that can be asked for. And I love that Brenda made a comeback after her truly terrible exit from the finale of Immortal Iron Fist under Andrews, but at the same time don’t... really care for how it wasn’t set until last issue.

All the positives of this story almost make me overlook the unnecessary, though appreciably subverted, kiss of life Pei gives her guy friend and I love that Danny, man serial dater that he is, is flumexed by this turn of events.

Everything is fun and delightful and I really really appreciate how dedicated this comic was from beginning to end to be Pei’s story and not letting that focus escape it the entirety of the six issues.

Also Brenda flying off on the Mother of All Dragons at the end and being like stfu Danny you ruined a good thing was hysterical and I loved it.

Art: There was definitely more production in this finale There seemed to be a lot more variation in coloring and textures, and even the characters seemed to keep almost perfectly on model the entire time. The one distraction of note, though, was that Pei... developed more into a traditional teenager look by the end... by which I mean.... boobs are now a thing and I’m not sure if it was just that she wore thicker clothes throughout the story or if it was because much like myself, the art team realized last issue for the first time that Pei was a sixteen year old and not... twelve. Anyway. It was a little distracting, but the increase in panel variation and high number of action sequences definitely made the story far more fulfilling in my view.

DC’s New Super-Man (2016-present) Vol. 2: Coming to America Gene Luen Yang, Billy Tan, Viktor Bogdanovic

After what felt like a long wait, we join Kenan and the rest of the Justice League of China once more on a bombastic quest as written by Gene Luen Yang. And much like last time, the results are rather unexpected and honestly kind of remarkable.

Story: Going off of my experiences with Yang’s work, I really feel like his passion in storytelling lies in finding the balance between the question of identity and how identity is formed by the cultures that nurtured us and how it is formed by the influences of the cultures around us. I think that was the main focus of American Born Chinese but it really is beginning to shine through Kenan’s adventures here as the New Super-Man and how much of the titular’s character is being drawn from the two huge influences he is feeling -- the pressures and dangers of the Chinese government and culture, and the admiration and sometimes oppressive shadows of the American culture that he is both attempting to copy as Super-Man and attempting to circumvent by finding the focus of his powers in Chinese philosophies and values.

And I think that’s where his supporting cast -- Wonder-Woman and Bat-Man and now also Avery Ho’s take on the Flash -- are really coming into play. While Kenan is being torn back and forth by his responsibilities and his bombastic self-absorption both in his internal conflict and his external conflict of learning the truth of his parents, we are getting a broader exposure to what being a superhero in China means as opposed to the normalcy we’ve come to expect from Western comics.

Bat-Man is just as influenced by his family as Batman, but the pressures are more in the focus on building his exceptionalism and in differing from his sister on whether to stay within a system that robs children of their childhoods and individuals of their sense of self, or to find purpose within that system and excel based upon the traits which only he can bring.

Wonder-Woman, like Wonder Woman, is derived from myth and legend but instead of a Western legacy, it is purely Chinese and her alienation and stand offish nature initially toward the rest of her team only makes that much more sense given what has brought her to her current state. She is a myth, a legend herself, but she is nearly forgotten by the current times -- Kenan even has to be told the story of her origins by Bat-Man -- and her finding the will to fit into a China that is so influenced by external cultures and influences are a struggle we’re only now beginning to appreciate.

And finally, with Flash, a Chinese-American, we’re going to receive yet another wild perspective, and considering Kenan’s already developing friendship with Avery I imagine that this is a perspective that will only receive more focus in stories to come. And I perceive that Yang’s inclinations to reference the struggles of culture and self-identity are going to be explored further here.

All around i greatly enjoyed this volume and am looking forward to the continuation now that Kenan has finally learned the truth about his family. There are a lot of interesting new angles to explore and I hope we do just that.

Art: The art is really reminiscent of Greg Capullo’s run on Batman, but has a whole lot more color and variety breathed into it which I personally really appreciate. The colors do a good job of presenting the differences in everyone’s base personalities and also makes the action sequences easier to follow even as the action itself becomes increasingly complex. The page layouts were fairly reserved considering the DC standard lately, but I personally appreciated it because it kept the focus on the storytelling and in doing so enhanced the nuances therein.

Great work all around, and yet another enjoyable volume.

Image’s Rat Queens (2013-present) Vol. 4: High Fantasies Kurtis J. Wiebe, Owen Gieni, Ryan Ferrier

I only recently jumped on the barge for Rat Queens and I’ve been more than happy with the results of caving to the advice of many friends. Because what is better than female-full cast of hilarious and dramatic DnD like adventures with more swearing than a naval ship? I gotta say, not much!

Story: So compared to the previous volumes, I actually found High Fantasies to feel like it had a lot less at stake. Although part of that may just be that I was somewhat anticipating a Betty-centric volume finally to elevate her out of being the shroom eating comic relief and bring more of the assassination attempts and her outlaw past into the forefront. And that’s clearly a problem of my own expectations and not necessarily the story’s fault itself. That said, the focus on Vol. 4 being on a gender bent loser version of the Rat Queens was pretty funny but also not something I would have thought carried enough weight to pivot as the main plot, but that would be just me.

I do appreciate Braga being in a larger role this time around, and really I wish we could see more less human creatures on the roster in general. It was also a huge heartwarming feeling to have Hannah more comfortable around her Queens and even showing some horns now and then in public. It feels like a huge progression of her character, even as she spends a fair amount of time earning the girls’ ire and.... walking in on naked mayors. As you do.

Basically Vol. 4 isn’t as character centric as the previous volumes have been, but it is a great adventure that feels like a good ol’ fashion DnD campaign with the friends you love at the helm and for fantasy nerds like me that’s more than enough to bring me back into the story.

Art: The art is always spectacular with Rat Queens, but I did find that this volume -- mostly as a result of not going to as many unestablished and important/original locations, did have a significant lack f inventive background use. That’s not always a slam on art, really the art was very good, and I actually am just... happy to not have Upchurch as the artist, honestly. That alone is worth three and a half gold stars. Though the whole controversy there is still my largest apprehension with the series at this point.

DC’s Red Hood and the Outlaws (2016-present) Vol. 2: Who is Artemis? Scott Lobdell, Dexter Soy, Kenneth Rocafort

Okay who authorized this? Who made this comic exist and who made it be actually good?? Because I didn’t and I feel offended at the amount of emotions that were forced upon me in this single volume of a comic written by Scott friggin’ Lobdell of all people. You couldn’t have told me a month ago that I would be enjoying anything that was remotely connected to Scott Lobdell and expect me not to laugh hard enough I’d bring myself to tears.

And yet here we are.

Story: Having learned a bit from how lackluster the attempts of balancing the concentration of the narrative was for his previous incarnations of the Outlaws, Lobdell somehow learned how to, y’know, write an ensemble narrative that is still heavily Jason Todd’s perspective, but does not lose any opportunities to expand on or even concentrate on the stories and character development of Bizarro and Artemis. oth of which are shockingly well handled and shockingly controlled, well paced, and interwoven into each other’s stories.

Like legitimately, did someone nab the Lobdell who wrote decent 90s Marvel comics and put him on this project? Because that feels like the kind of bizarre logic that would seem acceptable at this point.

Now, of course, it’s not perfect. Far from it. But at the end of the day we got an intriguing ongoing story, a team building exercise, Jason’s internal struggle personified both through his inner monologue and flashbacks, but also moments like his sparing of Bizarro whic not only didn’t have overly wordy exposition bringing attention to it, but was strong enough and meaningfully enough that from it alone we could see what Jason couldn’t: he is not as lost, he is not as amoral, and he’s not as cold as he has tried desperately to prove himself to be.

I actually found the take on Artemis and the Bana Mighdall pretty interesting in this retelling, and I like that we have a rogue Amazon as a new enemy for the team.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m super excited to see what will come after this.

Art: There was a range of artists, which is fine, the industry standard of pushing out these comics with the turnaround that they do does cause some disconnect, but for the most part an artist stayed for at least the completionof their storyline and then she was. And overall the trade still fel tconsistent, with some artists just standing out more than other.

Marvel’s Runaways (2017-present) #2 Rainbow Rowell, Kris Anka, Matthew Wilson

The new run of Runaways absolutely blew me away last month by shooting any and all expectations I had right through the skylight and beyond, so a good premise with beloved characters and a set in conflict really leads to a question of how do the pieces fall in order?

Story: I absolutely adore how Gert being the heart and glue of the family is being so blatantly emphasized throughout this (and that Old Lace is back). I also love that... honestly the trauma and lingering horrors Chase and Nico have survived in particular are being treated as real and damning in the eyes of someone who knew them only two years ago already. But most of all I love the emotional balance. Gert’s anger and disappointment are justified, but her crudeness and accusatory nature are also clearly shown as being wrong and too subjective. The important thing to her, and thus to the group, is to come together again. And I love that it is her prime motivation through and through.

That all being said, after such a bombastic first issue, it was a little difficult to have the momentum come to a halt so quickly. I don’t want to be taken wrong, I love issues where comics take their time and really meditate on the characters, their reactions to evens former and to come, and really develop relationships and the such. But it does feel a little unnatural to have that only two issues in when the previous issue was SO incredibly packed.

I’m still fascinated with where we can go from here and very excited to see that Victor, Xavin, and Klara might not be destined to eternal obsecurity like I assumed when the book was first announced.

Art: Honestly I’m still amazed at just how fantastic the art really is in this comci. .It’s SO good and the designs for all the characters are simply gorgeous. Though probably the best thing about all of it is the great coloring we see done here. Top notch.

Marvel’s Spider-Man - Marvel Legacy Primer Page Robbie Thompson, Valerio Schiti

I think I know less about what Marvel plans to do with Miles these days than Marvel knows what to do with Miles, which is horrifying because I just set that bar about as low as it could possibly have gone. But we.... have Rio Morales back which is the big reason I stopped keeping up with Miles to begin with so yay? I don’t know.

I feel like this primer is actually aimed at fans like me who got off the wagon back when the Ultimate title lost most of its steam both from killing off too many of Miles’ personal supporting cast and becoming too much about tertiary cast’s origins and then Peter Parker returning to life and stuff’s weird. This feels like a big neon sign that says “Things are back! The origin’s the same! Do not look behind the curtain!” It makes me curious but also apprehensive at the same time.

also can we get robbie thompson to write miles’ book and bendis let someone else write some books already jfc this was such a relief.

IDW’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Universe (2016-present) Vol. 2 Nick Pitarra, John Lees, Brahm Revel, Ryan Ferrier, Adam Gorham, Sophie Campbell, Bobby Curnow, Pablo Tunica

So unlike the rest of the reviews, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Universe doesn’t really fit my review format since it’s more like a collection of vignettes across the TMNT universe that feed into the main book and each story is written and drawn by a different team, so it wouldn’t have that same cohesion.

As the giant Ninja Turtle fan that I am and probably always will be, I can’t get enough of the mythos and the characters in TMNT, so having a book that has a solid, even meditative point of just exploring smaller stories and little character developments that wouldn’t fit in the very tight and controlled narrative of the main title is something of a perfect godsend to me. I love it in concept and in execution.

One thing I worry about, however, is that there definitely seems to be a lot of stories here that feel necessary to keeping up with the main series. Such as the story of how Alopex and Angel ran into the Toad Baron and escaped -- that was a pretty crucial piece of information for the Eternals storyline a few issues back in the main book. So it feels like more and more, because of how tight and concentrated the main book is, they’re using books like Universe to fill in everything else, including buildup to larger more important narratives. And while that’s fine and even something I enjoy, it’s a move that will really push people to start being more choosy with their books. It’s much like keeping up with Transformers right now, and that tends to lead to some mixed bags. But I suppose we’ll trust and see.

At the end of the day, I have to pick the comics that really stuck with me the most. And while I was a little disappointed by a few titles this week, there was a pretty intense competition between the ones that genuinely caught me and made me really feel while reading them. And I think by that measurement I have to give the Pick of the Week this time around to the conclusion of Immortal Iron Fists. I was so worried about how this story could wrap everything up and it’s with mother flipping dragons that’s how. I love it. I love Pei and I love her being officially adopted by Danny who is TOTAL ridiculous dad now. This is the kind of Immortal Iron Fist I am happy to support.

As far as trades go... wow I for some reason was not anticipating getting slammed as much as I did, but I really didn’t feel like any of the books let me down. They were all pretty amazing and I felt like I also managed to incidentally cover the entire span of comic book genres and types in a matter of two days, which let’s admit it, pretty impressive. I feel like the new releases this week are honestly a harder competition than the single issues but twist my arm, surprising no one nearly as much as I’m surprising myself here, I have to pick Red Hood and the Outlaws for managing to be a comic that... is unexpectedly good and unexpectedly sincere and unexpectedly emotionally motivating in ways that I wish... more comics... were? I just. have a real hard time complimenting Lobdell after tearing his books a new one for..... six years straight now. But... thank you? for writing well? And making me feel things? For Jason Todd, Bizarro, and Artemis? Am I doing this right?

And those are the comics for this week! Did you happen to agree with me? Disagree? Think I missed out on picking up a comic that was good? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

But before I let you go, I have to (yes have to) plug once more:

I have exactly a month to pack up everything I own and move halfway across the country again which is not helping those financial crunches I mentioned before either.

As such, I really would appreciate if you enjoy my content or are interested in helping me out, please check out either my Patreon or PayPal. Every bit helps and I couldn’t thank you enough for enjoying and supporting my content.

You could also support me by going to my main blog, @renaroo, where I’ll soon be listing prices and more for art and writing commissions.

RenaRoo Ko-Fi

RenaRoo Patreon

RenaRoo PayPal

#Rena Roundups #Wednesday Spoilers #SPOILERS #New Superman (2016 )#Red Hood and the Outlaws (2016 )#All New Guardians of the Galaxy (2017 )#Captain America (2017 )#Spiderman (2016 )#Immortal Iron Fists (2017)#Amazing Spiderman: Renew Your Vows (2016 )#All New Wolverine (2015 )#Runaways (2017 )#Batgirl and the Birds of Prey (2016 )#Rat Queens (2013 )

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gryffon · 8 years ago

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gonna post that thing i wrote about my abusive ex, this isnt a callout but its just like, all the shit ive been wanting to say and havent felt like i could. gonna namedrop people, gonna not give a fuck, i cant cw for everything but there are rape mentions, physical assault mentions and like. general feelings that happen the wake of emotional abuse.

i dont check often but my ex has deleted the blog she was currently using, (@windowpainter or somethng. she was @hamgubber before, previously @miniaturehorse if anybody remembers from when we were totgether and would post on each others blogs nonstop lol) she has a history of lurking around and worming her way into befriending popular people in online subcommunities i am part of or adjacent to. i have not spoken to her since i realized she was abusive and started to try to pull out of our codependent dynamic. she panicked when i realized actions speak louder than words and her long winded apologies, excuses, and textbookish tripe about DBT and getting better or whatever meant nothing in the face of months of repeated lying, breaking of promises, degradation, disrespect to me as a person, disregard of my physical disabilities, insults, patronization, manipulation, multiple instances of cheating, antagonization, neglect, extortion and overall emotional abuse. when she caught wind that i was going to leave her she wrote me a series of emails totaling over 30,000 words, all varying from "i love you please dont leave me we can work this out. breaking up with me is weak." to "you are not a victim. you are not a victim. here is a categorized list of the ways in which you are abusive while i downplay my own behaviors and patronize you. here's an ultimatum and you are not allowed to respond with more than one sentence." to which i disregarded and wrote up a long, thoughtful reply and chose to never send, ending contact with her for good. this was like, 2013 or 2014.

she never called me out, and i never called her out despite giving very serious consideration to it. i was listening to the advice of my therapist at the time, who told me that she thrives on drama and spends her life constantly creating it, and to give her that kind of attention was exactly what she wanted and would only engage her more in my life and be more degrading to my mental health. the best course of action was to give her nothing, and not give her any more power or influence over me, any footholds or any more of my time, consideration, energy or thought. if anybody reading this has endured emotional abuse from somebody you love, you know it is extremely difficult to totally ignore somebody like this, especially when that person has isolated you from the majority of your support system and friends and you have shaped your entire identity around your relationship with your abuser. but i have followed my therapists advice. i have been working on moving on.

still, over the past few years ive had my mutuals contacted by her friends and told to stop talking to me. ive had people i follow put her and her friends on my dash, which up until recently would send me into a panic that lasted several hours. i have a lot of people in the lesbian/commie/leftist/trans/etc/whatever circles on tumblr who just like randomly have me blocked for no reason (since i dont give a fuck and im going for a spirit of total honesty here, ill name drop @butchcommunist, who she dated for a period of time iirc. a lot of my followeds and mutuals reblog from her. i made a point not to check either of their blogs after finding out but it was upsetting since i would see julia all over my dash. that connection still exists in my mind and its pretty upsetting.). ultimately, and rationally i know that these things do not matter that much. i have a vibrant, healthy and loving circle of friends outside of the internet/tumblr and some randos on the internet having me blocked doesn't really mean anything in the scheme of things. still, when this shit happened it felt terrifying and i was horrified, my emotions magnified by the effects of emotional abuse. despite my VERY intense urge for closure, i try to keep as far away from her as possible.

i gave this woman a year of my life that in my memory is defined by her. i was very madly in love and i spent countless hours at her beck and call, countless hours in calls and in text conversations with her, countless hours supporting her through breakdowns, countless hours talking through her fears and worries, countless hours defending her when she stirred up drama, countless hours defending her horrible behavior to my friends, countless hours rationalizing her abuse to myself and people who approached me with worry, countless hours loving her and wondering why it felt so horrifically painful to be with somebody who told you they wanted to spend the rest of their life with you. almost all the money i was making at the time was spent on her. i helped her move across the continent. i had her at my house for weeks. she fucking took out a loan from my mom. despite how big a role she played in my life, over the past 3 years since our falling out i have only checked her blog less times than i can count on my fingers, usually in moments of distress and in the spirit of self-destruction.

i know for a fact she has convinced her friends to check my blog for her god knows how many times, telling them about her fear of me as a 'dangerous person', that i’m going to call her out, her "fear" that im obsessing over her and am quietly plotting to ruin her life. she's scared for a good reason, but not because i'm an abusive bitter ex out on a smear campaign to slander her innocent name and ruin her life in the name of revenge. she's scared because she knows i have some undeniably serious receipts on her. i have receipts of her sending me a horrifying letter her ex had written her describing a graphic instance of a time my ex had raped her, and of her admitting outright to the rape. i have logs of her checking her rape victim's blog and telling me how exasperated she was her victim was still angry with her even after she apologized, and couldn't understand why her victim was stuck on her and wouldnt move on, going on to blame modern feminism and its tendency to portray abusers and rapists as incorrigible. i have receipts of her admitting to perpetrating emotional and physical abuse in her previous relationships, like an instance where she describes losing control of herself and beating her ex senselessly. i have talked with exes, who confirm stories she had told me where she would cut her arms in her presence, deep enough that her life was at risk, and then refuse to go to the hospital, leaving her girlfriend to either bandage and tend to her wounds or else my ex would bleed out and die. those are just the more horrific ones. i have many receipts that document her emotional abuse towards me as well, which im barely even getting into here. i know plenty of other people have experiences with her and accounts of interacting with her that undeniably portrays her as a serial abuser, rapist, and extortionist and exposes the falsehood of her charming and intelligent persona.

several times i have considered calling her out because she has proven herself beyond a doubt that she is a serial abuser who leaves a trail of burning bridges in her wake. i have no doubts that the evidence i have against her is completely solid, and her claims of my status as an abuser that she perpetuates to her friends are built on pillars of sand. i am not afraid of anything she could bring to the table anymore. i have spoken quite a bit with exes and ex friends (some of which sided with her during our breakup and who eventually ended up cutting off, and we reconnected with years after), and they all suggest the same shit. she is manipulative to her very core and will not stop hurting and using people until she dies.

these are big claims and again, this isn't a callout and the reason im not providing the logs is because im just trying to get out my thoughts in an honest way and im not trying to make a case about anything. this is cathartic. im so fucking tired of feeling like its a secret. i dont even know what blog shes using or whatever and while that scares me, i don't care anymore. people who are still semi-big names in the online communities i drift around in still have me blocked and a lot of times i wish i could message them and tell them "hey, you know she's wrong, and i have absolute proof." but my self worth is high enough that i dont need to go around convincing every single rando who doesn't like me that im a good person, not to mention the risk of indirect contact through those who's lives she is still present in.

for a long time the way i coped was by holding onto the idea that she would apologize to me, and i could finally have closure. she apologized to the ex i mentioned earlier, and because of that i hoped she would grow enough as a person to realize that there is literally no way any rational being could look at our relationship and say that, yeah, i was the one hurting her. apparently thats too much credit to give her, and i realize she only apologized to her ex because she wanted me to think she was changing, growing and a good person at heart who just had a rough past. after enough time, enough conversations with people who she was previously close to, i have accepted that she will never truly dedicate herself to getting better. she will always be using people, always be hurting people, always lying, always hypocritical, always disingenuous and always covering her ass by hiding under the language of victimhood, trauma, recovery, self-improvment, DBT, and therapy to convince her victims that her offences are missteps in her journey to improvement.

this isn't a callout, this isn't meant to be circulated as a warning, this isn't meant to be any sort of vengeance or crusade. i dont even think shes fuckin on tumblr anymore lol. i don't care anymore. i dont care what people take this as. this is me writing an honest, open, reflective, cathartic processing of the scenario that impacted my teenage years so severely. this isnt concise or well written and i dont need it to be. i've spent too many years wanting to talk about this, needing to process it more openly, but being riddled with horrific anxiety and fear, worrying about her and her social influence and her ability to impact my life. but its been a long time. ive worked hard at this. ive worked hard to get past this. ive worked hard to learn how to be with people who will treat me with kindness. i needed to write this and i needed to post this without editing every sentence a thousand times. this is largely unedited. i dont care if this makes me look pathetic or obsessed with her ive been letting these feelings stir for years and im just ready to breathe again.

if you want to talk about this post DM me or whatever. if you know her and think its all bullshit and you want logs, sure. i dont have anything to hide anymore. her name is viv and she is the worst person i have ever met and i feel sorry that i gave her so much of my love. thanks.

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fabulance-moved · 8 years ago

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A few things about Rping...

Since my dash felt an drama-explosion, I felt the need to address a few things. No worries, I don’t do call outs. Since I actually want the community as a whole to feel more enjoyable then like a landmine of drama waiting to happen. If you read nothing else, read this: RPING IS A HOBBY. Your enjoyment is more important then followers, cliques, or whatever else get’s in the way between you writing your muses story for the dash to see as it unfolds!

Now under the cut is a mixture of questions to ask yourself as well as sharing a few observations and anecdotes. I’m not going to preach because in the end, it’s your dash and your blog/muse/time. You ultimately have the say in how power over who gets your attention, your emotional investment, who influences as well as who does not.

1. If it doesn’t add to your experience writing your muse or increasing your understanding of your muse or enjoyment or skill in writing them, it doesn’t really matter.

Sounds selfish as hell, right? In a sense it can be seen and argued as such, however it’s likely one the best things you can keep in mind and do for yourself, your muse AND the dash/fellow muns. I’ll let you guy knows that I, Sir-mun, have seen over the years so much stupid shit that varied from unfunny posts to characterizations that made feel violent impulsive rage. Does that give me the right to tell blogs I didn’t like how to play their character? No. Just like I don’t have to give two shits on anyone’s opinion on how I play Lance, everyone in turn has no obligation to to play their muse by anyone else’s standards aside from their own.

Now even it’s constructive criticism, asked for or not, I still have final say in how my muse is played and written as do you when it comes to your own. Your force should always be sticking to their spirit, personality and individuality of your muses above anything else. Writing itself is a creative process and everyone views things and express things with their own special flavor.

2. Followers are just a number. :|

There. I said it. You can fight me on this all day but I stand by my statement. If out of 500 followers you only follow 250 and actually interact and chat with 5-25, what really are the rest but just a silence audience? Now I know the desire to be popular is common and that a few people use their following count as a measure of their creative worth as a writer.

STOP THAT.

Unless you’re trying to build a platform for yourself where being prolific is a prerequisite or outright requirement to get your foot into the medium, your follower count means little. I’m not saying it’s meaningless as it does serve purpose for many people. Most common are milestones when they reach a few hundred followers. Now I’m not saying that setting goals of say, reaching over 200 followers in a year or something is universally bad, but ask yourself the following things before you set that goal.

- What do I gain by setting a goal to have [X] many people follow me? - What do I think I’ll feel when I reach that goal and what stops me from feeling that way about my writing as is? -Are there any other ways I can use to judge myself or see how I improve as a writer aside from numbers on a follow counter? - If I’m doing this for fun or to tell a muse’s story I hold dear in my dear, why do I entertain anything that isn’t related to my enjoyment or telling my muses story?

3. Groups come and go but friendships can last till death does you all apart.

I was around when Closed RP Groups were they place to be in PokeTumblr. I started my Tumblr Rping journey in a closed group, that I later became a mod for due to how much I grew attached to the place and the friendships I made there. I’m still friends to this day with a couple of them that i met and Rp’d years ago and we have over 5 years of history under our belts now. (We’re slowly getting closer to being classified as living fossils I swear...)

The same story could be told by many rpers here on tumblr, some might have owned groups or just went from group to group. Hell many could tell you all the indie adventures and hijinks they’ve been involved in with a smile while telling you it was 8 years ago and everyone from back then moved on to different fandoms or sites.

Do not let groups or cliques get to you. Hell a clique did a massive callout post years ago that damaged the poketumblr community so bad it has taken YEARS for it to fully recover from all the daamge done by that group. Do not give people that much power of you and your muse, for your own sake and sanity, do not do it.

Just keep doing what you love and eventually you’ll find someone muses and muns you click with and then you’ll all keep talking to each other and before you know it, a year has past yet when you spend time with them, it feels as if time doesn’t exist at all!

4. Emotions are natural, everyone has them. What you do when you have them is what counts the most.

I’ve had days where I just felt so energized and happy by seeing a mun or muse on my dash I wrote and said things that I wouldn’t have done on my own otherwise. I’ve also had days to where I had to ignore my dash or outright block and blacklist urls because just seeing the blog’s name made me want to slowly torture them with sadist glee. I have yet to go that far with anyone and will do things to make sure I stop things before they ever reach that point.

You have the same control and agency when it comes to how you cope and express your emotions, positive or negative. You will also be held held accountable for what you do. Some may take pity on you but others will not likely not excuse you lashing out at them or one of their friends because you got “angry”. Do what you have to do to get yourself in a more cool and less reactive mental state before going about dealing with someone that pissed you off. Ask for advice if you have to. The world is full of people that you might not like and the net is full of those people as well. Learn to deal with it constructively.

5. Be the change that you want on your dash or in your rp community if you feel things aren’t to your liking and want it to change.

I hate call out posts. I dislikes blogs where I can not read their text clearly. I engage in neither and while I see blogs do both at times, I don’t support it by spreading it on my dash either. I wished people got my connected with each other, so I joined discord servers and made a few of my own. I like getting inbox message for memes and just in general, so I do the same for those That I feel the urge for.

People read your tags people. We see your occ, rps, and everything else in between. If you feel lonely or wish for more interaction, go invade inboxes of muses you want to rp with. Wish for a serious plot or one-liner crack? Throw up a post for one OR look to see if anyone else is asking for the same thing you want.

I understand that many people are not like me, some are much more shy and not as confident that people will find value in how they writer, etc. My advice would be to risk it anyway. From the pain and fear comes growth and courage. We’re also shitty critics when it comes to our own writing. Let your writing partners decide if you’re good enough or quality. You are not psychic or their mind. They can judge you on their own and 9 times out of 10 they’re not as obsessed with written perfection as you as. They just want a good story with your muse and their muse.

Which in the end of the day, is the best thing an Rper can get.

#psa #Out of Capes (OOC)#MUN stuff #indie rp #rp advice #pkmn rp #[I seriously felt the need to get this out there because a friend got upset over the drama and I found the whole incident absurdly asinine]#[I do hope this helps a few people get perspective on what really matters to them and helps a few others find better ways in coping]

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