#stop poluting my posts and go back to your own fucking tumblr -Deos

[starsambrosia]

Hey guys here's my Fucking Lore Dump

"OMG I waited so long for this" -at least 3 people.

Give up, there's nothing I can do about-

I've lost so much.

My friends, my family, spiritually, physically, all of it even my headmates some times...

My life, do you know what it's like to die alone? Do you know what it's like to let there and stare at the wall for hours as your body grows cold and you realize over hours of staring...that you have to get up. That nobody is coming for you. That you are alone.

And then you rise, because what else can you do, and you will no matter how long it takes. Because, what else would you do? You should've died hours ago. But you didn't. Aren't you blessed, aren't you a miracle aren't you special.

You lived.

And now you have to get up.

Again

And again

And again

And again.

I lost track of times I died, how many times I stared up from the ocean floor with my lungs and nostrils burning staring at the fish because what am I going to do. Die?

I won't.

I can't.

So what? It's pain? Whatever. It'll get easier with practice so why not? Nobody cares where I go anyways I might as well not exist when they don't need a punching bag.

Did I mention I grew up in a cult?

I grew up in a cult and I can't fucking die bro

Ok so my primary bf is awake I need to go but like, mm. Mmm. Man. Imma. Imma be talking.