#stop giving him lip filler what the shit.

[radkatzzstuff]

when their jason design is so bad you block them

[cloudlessly-light]

Love like mine 5/12

A/N: Hey everyone! Just a little heads up that this is a non-smut chapter that isn’t based on an ask. It’s a bit of a filler chapter but it’s definitely necessary for our idiots to get their shit together. Oh and I also added a chapter to this story, look at me not having my crap figured out lol. Title: Love like mine (5/12) Chapter title: You know I’m solid gold Summary: He wasn’t a cheater. Until her. Word count: 2,3k Rating: Explicit   Warnings (for this chapter): Angst, cheating

The knock on her door comes in the dead of night. She hadn’t expected it, was barely awake as she fumbled with her gun for a moment until she looked through the peephole and saw Aaron on the other side. It’s been two days since she had last seen him, two days since he pushed her against a wall and covered her mouth with his hand as he fucked her with his wife and their friends just downstairs.

She opens the door and it’s like a flashback to the first time all those months ago, he looks angry, tension radiating from him and her eyebrow raises in question.

“Haley’s left.” He says and as her mouth opens in surprise he pushes past her inside her apartment.

“Excuse me?” She watches as he rids himself of his shoes, ignores the way her eyes linger on his biceps as they flex in the short sleeved polo shirt he’s wearing.

“You heard me.” He goes straight for the scotch in her liquor cabinet, pours himself a glass and waits until Emily is sitting down next to him on the couch.

“She left you?” She feels anxiety knotting in her stomach at those words, because this wasn’t the plan. This was messy, complicated, everything she knew it would become but didn’t want. “Did she find out… about us?” She asks carefully and a dry chuckle falls from his lips.

“No, she simply had enough I guess. But nothing is final, she’s taking a few days to think about everything.” He takes a large gulp of the amber liquid in his glass just as she sighs, a sound of relief coming from her as she relaxes some.

“I’m sorry.” She says then, her hand squeezing his wrist for a second. “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know.” He relaxes back against the couch. Haley had left the day after the barbeque, it had barely been more than twenty-four hours, too little time for him to gather his thoughts properly, he knew that. And yet, he couldn’t seem to stay away from Emily.

“I know you didn’t want this.” She watches him intently, can see how his mind runs a hundred miles an hour, waits for him to break, to yell or cry or hell even fuck away whatever pain he must be feeling. But it doesn’t come. Instead he looks at her with something close to acceptance.

“If I was completely happy with her, I wouldn’t be here with you right now.” The second the words were out the air around them shifted, like him admitting that he hadn’t been happy changed everything between them.

Actually, it kind of did.

“So what does this mean?” She doesn’t realize she’s holding her breath as she waits for his response until he leans forward again and takes her hand.

“It means that this, you, I apparently think is worth throwing my marriage away over. I don’t want to stop this, whatever this is.” He can see the exact moment when she guards herself, the way her eyes harden just slightly enough for him to know. He’s never met someone so good at closing themselves off from their feelings, it’s a trait he sometimes envied.

“I’m not falling in love with you.” She stands from the couch and hears him do the same.

“Did I ask you to?” He knows that whatever they were, it wasn’t something that could last. But that didn’t mean he wanted to give it up. Whatever small part of him that found peace inside her apartment, was worth it even if it was only temporary. When her eyes meet his, he smiles a little, the corner of his mouth lifting into a teasing grin.

“So, Haley is going to think about things and until she’s made a decision, we’re what? Going back to our normal?” The sarcasm drips off her tongue but he doesn’t seem fazed as he slowly walks closer to her.

“Is that so bad?” He brushes some of dark locks behind her ear and when she doesn’t move away from his touch he takes that as a win. “Nothing’s really changed. Not yet at least.” It’s stupid, being there with her, he knew that whatever they were feeling had moved from simply attraction to something else, something deeper. And that’s the exact reason why he should stay away from her.

“You might be getting a divorce. That changes everything.” She tries to think clearly, but his cologne is invading her senses, his proximity making her mind hazy and body heat up. She wonders when she lost her sanity, when she let herself start to care for him. “Maybe we should stop this, go back to just being colleagues.”

“Is that what you want?” His arm wraps around her, his warm hand spreading over the small of her back as he pulls her close. Her hands land on his chest, her dark eyes searching his but even in the darkness of her apartment he can see the familiar want that pools in her brown orbs.

She knows she should say yes, knows that she should push him away and stop this, whatever they were. But then she hears his low voice, a rumble from his chest as he says her name, feels the heat of his body against hers and she shakes her head.

“No.” She whispers and she sees him smiling before he leans down to press his lips against hers.

The kiss felt like a promise, of what she didn’t know.

“This isn’t just sex anymore, is it?” She can hear the slight tremble in her voice, fear of admitting something they had both known for months finally being said out loud.

“I don’t think it ever was.” His voice drops down to a whisper, dark eyes intent on hers as he leans down to press another chaste kiss against her lips.

When she takes him to her bed that night, it’s with unresolved feelings and words hidden against skin as they avoid everything they need to talk about.

*

Haley walks into the house she’s called home for the last decade. It’s silent and dark, not a trace of Aaron. He wasn’t away on a case, she knew that much, so where would he be early in the morning on a Sunday? In the back of her mind she knew, had known for weeks, that he was having an affair. Admitting that had been the hardest part, but the signs were there, the late nights, the smell of a faint perfume that she knew she recognized but couldn’t place, the way he would lie about meetings at the office.

She hadn’t dared to question him, had chalked everything up to coincidence, blamed his job for everything that was wrong with them. If she was completely honest they hadn’t been working for a long time, she hated his schedule, hated feeling like she was always his second choice. Then they had Jack and things didn’t change, he was still putting his job before her, before them, and she knew that things wouldn’t change. She told him that she couldn’t do this, couldn’t be in this house and left the following morning with Jack.

And now she was back, barely twenty-four hours later and he wasn’t there, he was with another woman.

She should be angry, should be furious at him for doing this to her. But all she feels is a sick form of indifference. That should tell her everything.

When Aaron comes home Haley is there, making dinner like they hadn’t fought, like she hadn’t left. But there’s tension in her shoulders, her eyes cold as she turns to look at him.

“Hi.” He doesn’t try to touch her, instead he kisses Jack on the head as he passes him and then sits by the table where she’s just putting plates out.

“I want a divorce.” She says it quickly, like the words have been on the tip of her tongue for hours. He realizes that they probably had. “And I think you do too.”

“That’s not true.” He tries but the way her eyes flash with something close to fury makes him pause. He can tell that she wants to say something, that she’s holding something back but in the end she stays quiet and simply looks at him. “Is there any chance for us to work this out?”

“I don’t know. Is there?” She wants to give him the chance to tell her, wants to give him the benefit of the doubt.

“I’m not quitting my job Haley.” He says it softly, and she sighs. For a moment he thinks about telling her about Emily, if they’re separating then there wasn’t a point of hiding it anymore. But he doesn’t want to hurt her further, knows that he’s already done enough damage in their marriage. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t lie to me.” She feels the first tear make its way down her cheek and she angrily wipes it away. “I think we both know that this isn’t just about your job at the BAU, Aaron.”

“What are you-”

“I know Aaron!” She cuts him off, the anger that she’s felt for the last few weeks finally erupting. “I know that you’re having an affair, that you have been for months.”

For a few seconds there’s nothing but silence, Aaron looking at her with something close to regret, watches as the woman he’s known and loved for so many years starts to crumble before him.

“I’m sorry.” He says again and in the moment he knows that it’s nowhere near enough, knows that he can’t do anything to try and make this better. Haley knew and their marriage was over. Somewhere in the back of his mind he realized that it was over the second he met Emily. It was unfair, it was not what he had wanted, but it’s too late, the choices he made were impossible to take back.

“Don’t.” She put her hand up to stop whatever excuse he was going to come up with. “We had our problems I won’t deny that. But I never thought you would do this.”

“I know. I didn’t either.”

“Who is she?” She wiped a few more tears away as she watched the way he sat slumped, nowhere near the man she was so used to seeing. He looked ashamed, looked embarrassed and that made satisfaction run through her. At least he was decent enough to feel guilty.

“It doesn’t matter.” No good would come from Haley knowing that he had been having an affair with a woman the total opposite of herself.

“It does to me.” She chuckles, the sound sarcastic and cold. “So I know her then.” When his dark eyes meet hers she feels the last of her resolve breaking. “Tell me.”

He stays quiet for long moments, the tension in the room thick and uncomfortable in a way it never had been between them before.

“You owe me this.” She whispers and he closes his eyes tight. She was right, he realized.

“It’s someone from work.” He finally said and he heard her sharp intake of air, saw the exact moment she put the pieces together and how something close to agony flashed over her face.

“It’s Emily.”

“Yes.”

*

He tells her the following day at the office, tells her that Haley knew, that they were getting a divorce, that he was moving out. And it’s a whirlwind of emotions.

“She knows that it’s me?” She looks out the window of his office, sees how people are starting to arrive at work. They didn’t have time for this conversation and she silently curses him for telling her first thing.

“Yes.” He wants to reach for her but stays planted behind his desk as he watches her react to everything.

“We should stop. We can’t do this.” She turns to face him and he nods slowly. “This is too complicated. And… you need time, you need to think this through.” It wasn’t what she wanted, but then again wherever they had started out as was not where they were now, somewhere down the line she had begun to care for him. And that terrified her.

“You’re right.” He says softly and she walks towards him. “I never meant for this to become… well this.”

“If memory recalls, I was the one pursuing you.” She offers him a smile and lets her hand graze his quickly. “I’m sorry for this.”

“Don’t be. If it hadn’t been you, I think we still would have ended up separated. She wasn’t happy, I wasn’t what she needed.” His eyes quickly flitted to the window to make sure that no one was walking on the catwalk before gently lifting her head with his finger under her chin. “And she wasn’t what I needed either.”

“We’ve made a real mess of things.” She chuckles dryly as she steps back from him, she needed to get to her desk, couldn’t be in here when the rest of the team walked in. “But we’re okay. No hard feelings, right?”

“Right.” He promises, because as much as he didn’t want them to stop she was right, they needed some space, he needed some distance, needed to clear his head. He watches as she leaves with a nod, how she carefully schools her features before exiting his office and he sighs heavily.

When Emily sits back at her desk only a few moments later she ignores the way her heart is hammering in her chest and how she can feel his eyes on her from above.

“Fuck.”

[honestlywtfisgoingon]

When You Weren’t Looking— pt. 11/?

PROFESSOR!OBI-WAN KENOBI x READER

PART 10

description: with obi-wan’s old love life resurfacing, anakin and padme council you about yours

warnings: language, mild spize, probably a lot of errors bc i stopped paying for grammarly premium lmao

a/n: HAHAHHA IM BACK LIKE I SAID. this can be considered a filler chapter ig, but i’ve actually had it written out for a while bc i wanted some padme and ani time but i never quite finished it so yeah

words: 2300

“Hey, kiddo!” Anakin ruffled your hair before taking the seat opposite you in the campus coffee shop.

“Anakin we’re basically the same age,” you frowned in annoyance as you batted his hand away.

“Whatever you say,” he settled in, leaning back on the little wooden chair. You just rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the little smile you tried to hide by pressing your lips together. You always tried never to give your impish friend the satisfaction of making you laugh, but of course, you always slipped up.

“Haven’t talked to you in a while. Like, actually talked, you know?” true, you’d say hi in class and sometimes he would hang around and help Obi-Wan, which you didn’t know if you could even count since it’s literally his job. That was something everyone always seemed to forget, including him, and when he wasn’t in either of those two places or doing anything that wasn’t an absolute necessity, he was with Padme.

“Yeah, you’re always with Obi-Wan anyway.” you shifted in your seat ever so slightly at his probably flippant comment. probably.

“How’s Padmé?” you smirked. If he did know about you and Obi-Wan, two could play that game. But if he didn't, your question still held a fair amount of sincerity.

anakin’s mouth morphed into a lovesick grin. At least was one relationship the two of you could talk about quite freely. “She’s really good actually, a lot of the students she councils have been performing really well. Besides work stuff though, she misses you,”

“yeah, I wish I was talking to her instead right now too,”

“wow. so I should just leave then,” he twisted his upper body towards the door feigning that he would actually get up. you responded jokingly with a little goodbye wave to send him and his bluff on their way. He repositioned himself only a second after, giving up his joke as he had more to say, “Padme’s meeting me here actually so you’ll get to see her. But I can’t stay for long ‘cause I have to grade some papers by tomorrow, which especially sucks cause all the essays are shit anyway,”

“Anakin,” you scolded him.

“You’d say the same thing too if you read them!” He pointed his finger at you in an trademark Anakin exaggeration, “They’re literally the worst class I’ve ever had. I dread every time they turn in an assignment,”

“You’re not even that harsh of a grader either,” you responded, actually considering his words.

“I know! But I can’t make it not-shit,” he wasn’t exactly wrong. you laughed at the way he threw his hands up in exasperation. “That’s more Obi-Wan’s job. He’s more sage-y,” you chuckled a little at his description of your inamorato.

“You’ll get there—and I mean that as a compliment. You’re gonna get that degree and be a bad bitch,” you joked.

“I’m always a bad bitch, let's be real,” he rolled his eyes and smirked at the same time, sass oozing from his features.

“We are bad bitches,”

“I was here first,” he countered quickly.

“Yeah but I’m Obi-Wan’s—“ You stopped. You didn't even know where you were going, but it was definitely something that would give you and Obi away.

“His what?” His brow quirked, but something about his tone made the question seem a bit more like a challenge.

“Don’t know,” you leaned back, trying (and failing) to act natural, as though your lack of ability to maintain eye contact hadn’t given you away.

“Well, you should try and figure that out.” He continued, fairly casually to your surprise. “Not that it means much,” he hesitated, “but a woman he used to be involved with is visiting this week.” You still would’ve been more concerned with his possibly knowing about you and Obi having a relationship if he hadn’t also mentioned, wait, what was her name? Kryze? He saw a mix of indecipherable emotions manifest in your features. It was understandable. How were you supposed to feel about her coming back? But in the end he didn’t want you to be blindsided. After getting no verbal response, Anakin elaborated, trying not to sound so cautious, as that might have a reverse effect and make you scared, “she used to work here. She and obi-wan were pretty close.”

“What? Why would I care about Obi-Wan’s past relationships?” You said, but your voice was small.

“Because you do.” he said it like he was stating a fact.

you gave up trying to offer another excuse when Anakin gave you a pointed look. Yes, he definitely knew. But he wasn’t going to push you.

“it’s ok. Ferus already told me about her.” you sighed.

“ferus?” Anakin’s lip curled as he sat up in surprise.

“yeah. before I knew what a dick he was,”

“could’ve told you that from the start.” He huffed a laugh, “doesn’t change anything though, I just want to make sure you’re gonna be ok,” his lips straightened just a bit to show you his genuine concern.

before you could assure him, now in slight annoyance, Padme's light voice came through the door of the cafe.

“I didn’t know you’d be here!” she said, sweet as always.

“hope you’re not too disappointed,” you joked, your delight to see her painted on your face.

“oh please,” she rolled her eyes playfully. “i really am glad to see you, though,” she added as she slid into the chair next to Anakin. He hooked his hand underneath the lip on the bottom of her chair, dragging it so it was flush against his. Her cheeks were painted with a small blush at his little act of affection. You could see Obi doing the same. once Anakin had pulled Padme into a comfortable position with his arm around her, he went straight into getting her all caught up.

“I was telling her about Satine,” he said with more seriousness than you felt was necessary.

“I don't understand why you think I’d care,” you leaned your head down to massage your forehead in exasperation. you looked up when you felt a hand grab the free one you had placed on the table. Padme had reached over, showing, as usual, more tact and care than Anakin had.

“as two people in love,” she tilted her head slightly to her still technically unofficial boyfriend, who smiled wide, “we can recognize two others, especially with Obi-Wan. he’s different with you, in a good way,” she gave you a little smirk, leaning back.

“ok hold on, I don’t know about love,” you panicked as you processed her words. love? that scared you even more, and you didn’t need that right now,

“Obi-Wan cares for you, and he cares the same way most people love, that’s what we’re trying to say,” Anakin told you, earning a supportive smile from Padme. You couldn’t help it, her smile made its way into yours. The idea that he cared about you that much… And you trusted them enough to believe it. You couldn’t let Satine take that contentment and security away.

they can help.

A solid pause followed his words.

“Fine,” you said in resignation, “I’ll admit it,”

“aha!” Anakin pointed to you as though he had won, only for Padme to elbow him. you continued as he threw a hand in the air as though he could not possibly understand why she was scolding him.

“I’m worried about Satine. it only ended between them because she went away. there’s no real reason they shouldn’t be together again.” you let it all out, “and,” you exhaled, “I’m not enough. I’m just a kid.” you looked down at the confession of your insecurities.

“you’re not a fill-in.” Anakin responded firmly. “he’s known her since he was young, yeah,” he jerked his head nonchalantly, “but he’s not a kid now,” he put his hand flat on the table, yet again saying his words like fact. “He’s a big boy who takes his choices seriously and he’s not a dick to get with you while he’s still in love with another woman,” his eyes were still soft though, even as his firm tone continued to urge you to believe him. his words would’ve left you feeling a whole lot better, if only they stopped there. he ran a hand over his face and through his hair with a huff. “I can’t speak for Satine though.”

“what does that mean?” You frowned.

“it could mean anything,” he shrugged.

“Are you—“ you were about to hit this man.

“what Anakin is trying to say,” Padme recovered for him just on time, “is that Satine has been known to be…” her voice faded off while she searched for the words.

“harsh?” Anakin offered up.

“no I mean, I’ve never met her either, but, well, yes. she’s always been very stubborn, she doesn’t back down, in class and with the board.”

“oh,” your voice went a little quieter as you imagined the idea of her stubbornness somehow turning this into a battle over your Obi-Wan. well, your obi-wan for now.

“Hey, I’ve never seen him like this. I may have never met Satine, but I’ve known Obi-Wan for forever and I know that he’s never been like this.”

“Trust us, y/n. trust Obi-Wan. and more importantly, trust yourself. you know how he feels, and you know that you deserve those feelings.”

“I guess. i— I mean I’ll talk to him,” you sigh, looking put out, but you weren’t sad, just tired at the prospect of all this.

“Good,” Anakin said with a grin before snagging the pastry you had been too distracted to eat and taking a fat bite out of the flakey bread. you gasped and snatched it out of his hands, a little piece still held between his fingers, torn off when you took it back. the three of you just smiled and laughed, pretty soon falling back into normal conversation. part of you knew that Padme and Anakin were intentionally moving on so as not to leave any more room for you to overthink. oh but how they underestimated your mind's ability to make room for overthinking, no matter what.

—

“Obi,” you said quietly by his desk.

“yes?” he looked up at you from his seat, a warm smile forming from the rush he always felt from simply being near you.

“I want to talk to you,” you threaded your fingers through the silk of his hair as you continued, trying not to sound nervous.

“and I love it when you talk to me.” he smiled, placing his hands on your hips but remaining seated. your heart skipped a beat. he looked good like this, head leaned into your touch, eyes tilted up to look at you with such endearment. they would have been sweet and innocent like a puppy's if you didn’t feel the grip on your hips tighten just a bit, the hands starting to move ever so slightly. you had to snap out of it.

“no one likes a smart ass,” you tug gently on the hair still wrapped around your fingers, causing him to jump just a bit. You giggled a little at his reaction, but he recovered very quickly.

“oh but it seems you do,” he said in a lower voice, pressing a kiss to your stomach. you wondered if he somehow felt the butterflies that fluttered there. they didn’t go away though, but stayed as your nerves kicked in. he must’ve seen the look in your eyes shift, as his own did too. “what is it? truly?”

you looked up at the ceiling, letting loose a heavy breath as you prepared what you were going to say. when your eyes met his again, you couldn’t do it.

what was the big deal anyway? why can’t you just talk to him about it again? it’s just becoming all too real. I can’t let him see that side of me yet.

you answered your own circle of questions. your body responded by clearing your eyes and putting on a more pleasant expression instead.

“it can wait,”

great. you lost your nerve.

“no, my darling one, what is it?” if he had anything else to say after that, those thoughts were now skittering away as you quickly straddled him and ground hard against him immediately.

“it— can— wait,” you said each word between a kiss pressed to the column of his neck, feeling the bob of his thick swallow underneath your lips.

“you’ll tell me though, eventually, won’t you?” he wouldn’t let you go so easily, but he would never push you either. Anakin and him had that in common. he didn’t know if he could anyway, not with you positioned like this and slightly more assertive than usual— just enough to pique his interest and other things like what you felt pressing right in between your parted legs.

“of course. just— in a little.” you chewed your lip “it’s not a big deal I’m just tired,”

only a partial lie.

he appreciated your clarification so that he didn’t kill himself by guessing what earth-shattering topic you might have just been about to throw on him. if it truly wasn’t a big deal, then he would leave it. part of it hurt because you knew he believed you. could you believe him and how he said he felt about you?

I should. I do. fuck.

you were anxious and, consequently, tired. you just decided to slump into his arms and hold him close for a minute before you decided to take things in a more exciting direction. you breathed in his musk, feeling his breath cascading along your neck as he inhaled your scent. you reveled in it this time. that you could do this with him. that right now, he was yours to enjoy, and nothing could take that away. you wouldn’t even think of the possibility right now. couldn’t afford to.

fuck a satine.

with your, perhaps forced or compensatory adamance, you nipped at the skin of his shoulder, still covered by the thin light blue fabric of his dress shirt. his eyes had become a much darker blue when he grasped your face to look at him gently after your playful bite.

yes. right now he was yours.

PART 12

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[snaillamp]

RIP - Rest in pieces

3:00 am.

Enjar stared at the clock as it ticked over to 3, sighing in frustration. He rolled onto his front and groaned into his pillow, half hoping he would pass out from lack of oxygen. He had spent the night trying to fix the light when it had suddenly ground to a halt, leaving him covered in grease and gunk. When he had finally got it functioning again, he had showered. The water couldn't warm up in time and pressure shit itself, so he showered in an ice cold dribble.

When he finished, he collapsed into bed, shivering, tired and cold, but could not fall asleep, so he had stared at the clock for a hour instead. Now, with his face smooshed firmly in the soft pillow, Enjar breathed slow, deep breaths. Before long, his body relaxed as he drifted off into restless sleep, his soft breaths the only sound filling the room and he lay splayed out on the bed. His rest was light, but it the best he was able to get.

~~

As the sun rose, he was awoken by loud chatter and laughs outside his bedroom window. Moaning as he pushed himself up, he pulled on a jacket, laying in a heap on the floor and trudged into the main room of the cabin. He stuck his cold feet into his large gumboots before opening the door.

Trudging around the cabin, feet sinking into the mud, Enjar shivered, his breath forming a cloud in front of him. His matted hair was trailing over his chest and back and shadows were set heavy under his eyes. He had no energy, his body drained as he walked through the brisk morning.

When he rounded the corner, he saw a group of young girls, probably early 20’s all giggling and taking photos of the tower with their phones. They all turned when Enjar came over, tiredly running his hands through his hair as he glared at them.

“Hey! This is private property!” He barked, his voice low and gravelly from having just woken up.

The girls gaped at him, phones slowly lowered as they stared in his direction, taking his sudden appearance in. Enjar grimaced, taking a step closer. “What are you doing taking pictures of my house?” A bleach blonde girl stepped forward in trendy hiking gear. “We didn’t know anyone lived out here, we thought the light was automatic.”

She had an annoying, slightly whiny tone. Enjar lowered his chin, glaring at the girls. “Get out.” He pointed to the hiking trail a distance away. “Now, or I’ll make you.” Growling, he took a step forward. The girls took a step back cowering a little, except Bleach Blonde. She stood her ground, fiddling with her phone for a second before holding it out to Enjar.

“Can you at least film us doing a dance in front of the tower first?” Enjar frowned, confused. “What?”

“Film us doing a dance, you know, for Tik Tok!” Enjar put his hands on his hips, eyebrows raised. “You’re kidding.” He was astounded, confused, maybe even a little frustrated at the gall this girl had. “Come on the sun is rising, the aesthetic will be ruined, we just want to dance in front of the stripy toweeerrrrr.” Bleach Blonde whined.

A thought crossed his mind and Enjar smirked slightly, taking the phone. He promptly turned on his heel and walked away, slamming his door to emphasise his point. The girl gasped following him as he walked away. “Hey! That’s my phone! Give it back! Uh, I’m gonna report you! This is stealing! You can’t do this!” Enjar turned, smiling a pleasant grin through the grimy door window. The girl pounded on the door, as Enjar chucked the phone on the table before he walked back to his room.

He fell face first onto the bed with a groan, but the banging didnt stop, the whining and yelling keeping him awake. Pushing himself up, he growled, before grabbing the phone off the table. He ripped open the door and looked at the girl. They were about eye to eye, and she looked livid. “Give me back my phone!” She whined, pouting her filler pumped lips pathetically. Enjar grinned, a sinister look flashing across his face for half a second, “Okay.”

He held out the phone, before letting it tilt and fall from his fingers into the mud at his doorstep. “Whoops.” He said sarcastically, slamming his door again. He listened to the girls complain how rude he was, before they wandered off down the trail. It was times like this Enjar considered keeping his guns in side his cabin.

Wandering back to bed for the third time, he crawled under the sheets, exhausted and shaking. He lay on his side, snuggled under the blankets, eyes closed tightly as he waited for sleep to come. It didn't. Drained of energy, he rolled over, staring at his clock.

6:15 am.

“Fuck…” He mumbled, sinking deeper into the mattress. At some point he must have dozed off because the next thing he knew he was being violently awoke by his radio going off. His clock showed his rest had only been momentary, 6:32 am.

“Alright, alright, I’m coming…” He mumbled, slowly sliding from the bed and walking to the main room of the cabin again.

He shuffled to the table beside the sofa, picking up the radio from it’s charging dock and answering the voice as spoke through it.

“Tower 4, come in Tower, do you read me?”

“Yeah… Tower 4, I read you…” Enjar mumbled, glancing out his dirty cabin window.

“Ah, nice to hear your voice Tower 4! Empress Lucia hearing you loud and clear! Listen, we’re passing through your area in about a half hour and would appreciate it if you could do a little greeting to our lovely passengers. We have quite a few who would love to see your tower shine!”

“Yeeaaaah, nope.” Enjar answered flatly.

“Aw, come on. Just for your favourite cruise liner?” Enjar rolled his eyes.

‘Fucking Johaan…’ He thought, knowing the previous keeper enjoyed flashing the lights at the passing ships in the morning light, a fun greeting if he weren’t so pissed off and tired.

“Listen man, I don’t know who you think I am, but you are rapidly becoming my least favourite cruise liner by bugging me.”

Silence met him for a second, before the jolly 'captain' voice put on by the man on the other end came through came through.

“Come on, old chap. You sound like a nice guy, just once for us, just a few little flashes.”

Groaning, Enjar rolled his eyes. “Fine. If it makes you shut up.”

Enjar put down the radio and began to climb the tower slowly. He looked for the cruise liner, waiting for it to cross his path in annoyance. He heard it before he saw it, playing bass heavy party music as it came into view. Waiting for it to pass by, Enjar turned the light on, flashing the ship twice, before turning to re-enter the light gallery. A deafening honk sounded from the cruise liner, shaking the glass of the gallery in its’ frames. Enjar’s teeth rattled in his skull as everything vibrated, the sound party music leaking into the tower.

“Stupid liner will run into the rocks if it stays that close.” Enjar mumbled, slipping as he made his way down the gallery ladder. Catching himself before he fell far, he landed hard on his left ankle, feeling something inside it snap. “Agh! Fuck!” He cried out, lowering himself to the floor. He pushed himself up, limping down the stairs, and getting back to the main cabin.

Hobbling to the nearest dining chair, he slumped into it. Checking his ankle, he could already see the bruise forming and ankle swelling. At least it didn’t seem broken, just badly sprained. The heavy bass from the party liner shook his cabin as he managed to limp back to bed again, but as he lay there, feeling his ankle grow worse and worse, he couldn’t sleep. Getting up, he limped to the bathroom, pulling out a first aid kit and carrying it back to the main room. He grabbed a cold bag of frozen vegetables and held it on his foot, supporting it on a second chair. After the bag began to drip cold water into his skin and his foot felt a little numb, he bandaged it gently, hoping the support would do something to help. His stomach growled as he moved.

Finally easing out of the chair, he limped around the kitchen making a pitiful breakfast. Eating it slowly, he realised he didn’t even feel particularly hungry anymore, but forced himself to finish. “Guess today is just gonna be a shit day…” He mumbled, listening to the 'doof, doof ' of the party liner finally fade.

Limping to his room, he opened his closet, picking out his softest, comfiest sweat pants and shirt and slipped them on. Grabbing a small box by a pair of expensive leather dress shoes on the bottom of the closest, he walked back out into the cabin and got settled on a chair. Opening the box, he pulled out a small bottle of nail polish, gently painting each of his fingernails with intense precision.

~~

Soon, all his nails were a sleek, black colour and Enjar felt a little better. Tying his hair up in a messy bun, he went over to his ancient, sagging sofa and collapsed into it, listening to it groan in protest as it sagged under his weight. He didn’t care though, within minutes, his heavy eyelids slid shut and he was once again asleep, snoring softly on the stained, ratty sofa. The sleep wasn't great, he kept waking up and dozing back off, until he was suddenly, rudely awoken again.

“Tower 4, do you copy?”

Reaching over to the radio, he answered it, still slumped on the sofa. “Go ahead Matt.” He replied, recognising his friend’s voice.

“Yeah, so we had a report come in, a group of 5 women went for a picnic in the woods and have called us, apparently they are lost. The closest landmark they can find is Misty Lake by their description, and we figured you were closest so if you could run by and grab them, that would be awesome, saves us sending out a car.”

Groaning in annoyance, Enjar deflated, half tempted to hurl the radio across the cabin and go back to sleep. “Yeeeaaauup. Where at Misty Lake?” He grumbled, walking back to his closet and grabbing the appropriate hiking gear. Of course those girls picked the rocky trail, uphill trail to get lost on, not the damn flat one to the cliffs near by.

When he was ready, he grabbed a pack of bare essentials, a basic first aid kit and some navigational tools. “Right, heading out. If I don’t come back, assume the lake won and finally drowned me.” He half joked, setting out into the trees. Matthew chuckled, “Some morning you must have had. Not often I hear you this grumpy, Enjar.”

Enjar rolled his eyes, “You don’t know the half of it. The light broke last night and I was up till 3 am fixing it. When I finally get to sleep, those damn girls I’m looking for wake me up at 6. Then a fucking party liner wants a flash and won’t quit bugging me till I say yes, and now this. I think I’ve had maybe 3 hours of actually restful sleep if I’m lucky.”

Matthew whistled. “Brutal. Well, take care, I’ll try not to bug you after this, but no promises.” He laughed again. “K, cya, buddy! Base over and out.”

Enjar sighed, now feeling a little lonely. Matthew had been quite excited and happy recently for some reason. The birds singing around him made him feel a little better though, distracting him from the pain in his aching ankle.

~~

As he reached the turn off for Misty Lake, he started looking for the girls. Noticing them along the far end of the lake. He groaned dramatically before continuing, the girls spotting him from as he came down a steep hill and through some trees. They hiked over to him, before they stopped, realising who he was. Collectivley they scowled, eyeing him suspiciously before he stopped, dumping his bag on the shore and crossing his arms across his chest.

He looked at them for a second, before sighing slightly. “Any of you hurt?” Everyone shook their heads, and Enjar silently thanked everything that was sacred. “Good. Follow me, I’ll take you back to the path, make sure you stick to it from now on, okay?” Everyone nodded as he slid the bag back over his shoulder, the strap crossing his body as he started to walk across the rocky shoreline.

The girls followed, gingerly hopping over the sharp, black rocks as Enjar lead them back to the path. As they scrambled up the incline one of the girls, Bleach Blonde cried out. Enjar whirled around. The girl was sitting at the bottom of the hill, gripping her ankle and wailing in pain. Sighing, Enjar stumbled back down the steep incline and dropped to his knees by her side.

“You okay?” He asked, his quiet, calm, gentle, ‘helping hikers’ voice in full effect. “No!” The girl moaned, rocking back and forth, holding her left ankle gingerly. “I slipped, my ankle, oh my ankle! It’s broken!” She wailed, sobbing.

“Alright, alright, calm down. Let me see.” Enjar tried to sooth her. She thrust her shaking foot in his face. He guided it down gently and carefully pulled back the shoe to see what the damage was. “Huh, doesn’t seem to be swollen… Can you move it?” The girl tried but was soon overcome with pain. “Ow, ow, ow! Ahhh, please save me! Somebody help, please, owwwww!” She cried out, wailing and sobbing

“Okay, wait a second.” Enjar said, standing and mentally preparing for for the inevitable, excruciating pain his own ankle was about to unleash upon him. “Hop in my back, I’ll carry you up.” He directed, the girl wiping away a tear with an elegantly manicured acrylic nail. She gulped, nodding before she climbed onto Enjar’s back.

Grunting as he stood, Enjar adjusted his weight before looking at the hill. It was steep, but not too tall. ‘This is gonna be hell…’ He thought to himself.

“Ready?” He asked Bleach Blonde.

“Mhmm.” She replied, her arms wound tightly around his neck, choking him slightly.

“Okay, hold tight.”

He pushed up the hill, gritting his teeth and swallowing down the pain of his ankle, each step agony. When he finally made it to the top, the girl slid off his back and waltzed off to be with her friends.

“Hey, I thought you said you were hurt!” Enjar turned, glaring at her. “No, I just didn’t want to climb that steep hill and get my shoes dirty. Besides that’s payback for throwing my phone in mud, you psycho.” She stuck out her tongue. “Anyway, thanks for showing us the track, we’ll be going now, ta ta!” She waved her hand at him, her acrylic nails clicking as they collided with one another.

Enjar scoffed, watching the girls make their way down the path. “Hey, just so you know, that path leads further into the forest, this way goes back to the car park.” He pointed to the sign a way down the path behind him. The girls scowled. “We knew that, we just wanted to see the cliffs a bit more.” Bleach Blonde retorted. Enjar raised his eyebrow, indicating with his head to read the sign.

<— Car park, 700m

Cliff lookout, 1.2 km —>

“Wrong way again, ladies.” He chuckled. “Have a nice hike!” He smiled, waving as he turned, making his way back to the cabin. His ankle hurt even more now, he must have hurt it carrying that girl up the hill.

When he finally made it back to the cabin, he leaned against the door with his forehead for a moment, breathing in the sea air before pushing it open. He shed the bag, holding the radio up and delivering the news.

“Tower 4, I have returned to the lighthouse, all girls are present and accounted for, and also really mean, over.”

Matthew scoffed, before replying. “Aww, you didn’t let them bully you did you?” He teased, making Enjar smile a little.

“No… But one made me carry her up the steep bank with a busted ankle. She pretended to be hurt and I must have made my own injury worse...” He threw himself onto the sofa, listening to it creak in protest under his weight. “Wow, you okay?” Matthew was suddenly more concerned. “Yeah, it’s fine, nothing a couple days rest won’t fix-”

There was a loud snap and Enjar yelped as the sofa broke, collapsing to the ground. He landed hard against the floor, bruising his tailbone as he cried out and cursed. “FUCK!”

“Woah, hey, you okay? What happened?” Matthew probed, hearing the sounds before the radio signal cut off.

~~

Enjar’s hand dropped to the ground as he lay in the wreckage of his furniture. He stared at the ceiling in stunned silence, his back and ankle pounding, his head aching and his breath hitching as he tried not to burst into tears. “Enjar? Hey, what happened?” Matthew was still trying to get through.

It was all too much for Enjar at that moment, a deep, anguished scream came from deep within his chest, rising and escaping before he could stop it. He let his head drop back and limbs go limp as he lay in the mess that was his former sofa, letting the exasperated scream reverberate around the cabin.

A gentle, concerned voice broke through the sounds, bringing him back to reality a little. “En… are you alright?” He looked at the radio by his hand, not having the energy to actually grab it.

Finally, he forced himself to, his weak hand flopping as he held it over his face. “Yeah… I’m okay…” He mumbled, before promptly dropping the heavy radio on his face. “Agh!” He groaned again, already feeling the bruising forming on the bridge of his nose.

Sitting up, Enjar eased to his feet and grabbed the radio. “It’s just… Something broke… It’s not a big deal… I just… just... just... really, really want to fucking sleep right now…” His voice wobbled a bit as he tried not to burst into tears over the air.

“Alright, well you put yourself to bed, buddy. I’ll come by after my shift to check in.” Enjar nodded, unlocking his cabin door. “Door’s ready…” He spoke, just preventing a hitch from making its way up his throat. “Cya soon, En.”

“Bye Matt, Tower 4 over and out…” Enjar’s voice could only be described as defeated in that moment, as he ripped off his sweaty hiking shirt and stalked back to bed, collapsing face first across his mattress. He could not even be bothered to get under the covers and lie in the correct direction. Unable to stop the tears from surging up he submitted to the sobs in seconds, gasps wracking his body as he cried, hot tears streaming down his face like raindrops down a window pane. He screamed into the mattress, feeling all the anger and frustration leave him and the tiredness set in... He just couldn't manage life right now... All he wanted was sleep...

~~

As Matthew came through the door, he noticed the cabin in shambles. There was a melted bag of peas in the sink, dining room chairs scattered around the room and a shirt on the floor for some reason. Most obvious however, was the beloved sofa Enjar usually slept on after a long, arduous, difficult day, lying in pieces on the ground. 'Looks like that piece of junk finally broke...' Matthew thought.

“Hey, En? You ‘round?” He asked, looking around the cabin, half hoping Enjar was passed out somewhere. At least then he’d be getting some rest.

He found Enjar in his room, lying face down, horizontally along his bed, not wearing a shirt and shivering slightly in his sleep. His right arm was drooped over the edge to the bed, dangling limply, while his left was tucked around his face. His nose was smooshed into the crook of his elbow, his hand resting on his right shoulder. Matthew watched as his back rose and fell slowly as he slept, his skin pale from the cold.

“Oh, buddy, what’s happened to you?” Matthew murmured, glancing at his friend’s left foot, dangling over the edge of the bed slightly. It looked swollen and tender as Enjar’s leg twitched in his sleep.

Creeping over to his friend, he gently shook his shoulders, rousing him. Enjar moaned feebly, lifting a dazed head and staring at Matthew, recognition not sparking in his blue-grey eyes. “Hmmm… Hey, when did you get here…?” He asked rubbing his eyes weakly. Matthew's eyes widened at how cold his friend's exposed skin was.

“Enjar, you’re freezing, get into bed, you’ll get sick.” Matthew scolded, Enjar as he helped his friend stand and get into bed properly. Tucking him in, he layering a thick blanket over Enjar's shivering body, before sitting by his side and smiling gently. “You feeling okay?”

Enjar seemed to be gazing at nothing, eyes distant. He shook his head. “Rough day, huh?” Matthew continued, Enjar nodding slowly in reply. “Aww... you had anything to eat in a while?” Enjar shook his head again. “Do you want anything?”

Same reply.

“You wanna talk about it?” Enjar shook his head once more, blinking slowly as he seemed to begin dozing off. “Okay, well let me know if you want anything. I’ll clean up a little for you, how’s that sound? You get some rest buddy.”

Enjar nodded, his eyes already starting to close as he nodded off to sleep again. He could vaguely hear someone in the background making some quiet noise, but soon he was engulfed in a dreamless, deep sleep, finally resting. Finally able to sleep.

~~

After a few minutes of cleaning and sorting out the cabin, Matthew heard a heavy sigh. He glanced into the bedroom, watching Enjar’s body relax and sink into the sheets, the tension in his body disappearing, his friend now deeply asleep.

Creeping over, Matthew picked up another blanket and gently placed it over his friend, watching him sleep with a smile. “Sleep well, En… Get some rest.”

~masterlist~

[selenblackwrites]

14. Apology

Daryl had a bad habit of saying “sorry.” He knew it. It wasn’t the kind of sorry that carried weight. It was a filler, a way to patch things up before they cracked wide open. He threw the word out like loose change: Sorry, didn’t see you there. Sorry, forgot. Sorry, didn’t mean it.

He figured people didn’t expect much more from him. Rick never called him out on it, either. Just gave him one of those sighs or a look that said “I’ll let it slide, this time.”

But not tonight.

He’d come home from the jobsite, covered in dirt and sweat, his head pounding like someone had taken a hammer to it. Rick was in the kitchen, setting out plates, his movements calm and practiced, like he didn’t have a care in the world.

And Daryl felt like he was suffocating.

“Rough day?” Rick asked, holding up a beer like a peace offering.

“Don’t start,” Daryl snapped, snatching the bottle without looking at him. He felt Rick’s eyes on him, but he didn’t care. The tension in his chest was too tight, too hot, and he needed space to breathe.

“You wanna sit down?” Rick asked, his voice soft.

“No,” Daryl muttered, leaning against the counter.

“Daryl,” Rick tried again, and this time there was that note in his voice - the one that meant he wasn’t going to let it go. “Talk to me.”

And just like that, the dam broke.

“What the hell do you want me to say, Rick?” The words came out loud and sharp, like a knife scraping against stone. Daryl turned, the beer bottle still clutched tight in his hand. “That my day sucked? That I feel like shit? That everything’s just… too much?”

Rick blinked, his expression shifting, and Daryl knew he’d gone too far. But it was too late to stop. “Maybe if you didn’t hover all the damn time, I wouldn’t feel like I’m suffocating in my own house.”

The words hung in the air, heavy and bitter. Rick’s face changed - his jaw tightened, his eyes hardening in a way that made Daryl’s stomach twist.

“I’m just trying to help,” Rick said quietly, his voice steady but cold. Then he turned back to the stove, shutting Daryl out with a single motion.

Daryl froze, the automatic response already forming on his lips: Sorry.

But Rick didn’t give him the chance. “Don’t,” he said, his back still to Daryl. “Don’t you dare say sorry. Not this time.”

The rest of the night passed in a haze. Daryl sat on the porch until the sun went down, staring at the shadows stretching across the yard. The beer in his hand had gone warm, untouched since that first sip.

He replayed the scene in his head over and over, each time feeling worse. He’d hurt Rick. Again. And this time, sorry wasn’t enough to smooth it over.

By the time he crawled into bed, Rick was already asleep, turned away from him. The space between them felt like an abyss.

Daryl woke before dawn, the guilt sitting heavy in his chest. He lay there for a while, staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out what the hell he was supposed to do. He wasn’t good at this - at fixing things, at making them right. But he had to try.

The grocery store was barely open when he marched in, going straight for the fresh bread and eggs, for kiwis and strawberries, for anything and everything he could think of that Rick liked.

By the time Rick came downstairs, Daryl was back in the kitchen, frying up eggs and bacon. The table was set, a plate of toast in the middle along with fresh fruit and two steaming mugs of coffee.

Rick paused in the doorway, his eyes flicking from the table to Daryl. “What’s all this?”

Daryl shrugged, keeping his eyes on the pan. “Figured I owed you somethin’ better than ‘sorry.’”

Rick didn’t say anything at first. The silence stretched, and Daryl’s nerves started to fray. He turned off the stove, plating the bacon and eggs before finally looking at Rick.

“You gonna sit, or what?” Daryl asked, trying to sound casual.

Rick’s lips twitched - almost a smile. He pulled out a chair and sat, picking up the coffee. “Smells good.”

Daryl nodded, his hands fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. “I shouldn’t’ve said what I said,” he muttered, his voice rough. “Didn’t mean it.”

Rick set the coffee down, his blue eyes steady as they locked onto Daryl’s. “Then why’d you say it?”

Daryl swallowed hard, his throat dry. “’Cause… I don’t know. Got in my head. Felt like everythin’ was too much, and you were right there, and… I just lashed out.”

Rick leaned back in his chair, his expression softening. “You gotta stop doin’ that, Daryl. You can’t keep pushin’ me away every time things get hard.”

“I know,” Daryl said quietly. He looked down at his hands, his fingers twisting together. “Ain’t good at this stuff. Never been.”

“I’m not asking you to be perfect,” Rick said, his voice gentle now. “I just need you to meet me halfway.”

Daryl nodded, his chest tight with emotions he didn’t have words for. “I’m tryin’, Rick. I swear, I’m tryin’.”

Rick reached across the table, his hand warm as it covered Daryl’s. “I know you are.”

Next ┈➤

[calypso-finale]

Hundred Six.

I haven’t spoken to Raihan since the whole thing, as far as I am aware he is complying. He isn’t doing anything he shouldn’t be, he is coming home from school and doing nothing, but Robyn is being a pushover, she is saying well it’s been a few days, but no I don’t care. He will run this course “old man” Robyn been calling me that “says that one that wants fillers in her wrinkles, be quiet” she gasped “rude, so you going to Vegas tonight” nodding my head slowly “I am, this old man is going to be hanging with the youth, but I am being paid to show my face, why am I mad. But I am taking Raihan to see Aziel before he goes, he is going to apologise today” Raihan walked into the kitchen and put his head down, I am glad he is upset “awww is that why you wanted some money from me? Did Amerie get it” Robyn said “yes” he answered, “why did he want money?” I asked “I wanted to get Aziel a toy” squinting my eyes “after trying to kill him” he poked his lips out “you always have to be loud don’t you” Robyn said “well that is a nice gesture but we won’t be moving on from it, you boys won’t be out of hand” he sighed out walking off “be nice” Robyn said “yeah well these three will have our full attention so they going to get it with their shit” Robyn sat across from me on the bar stool “just please, he is complying, he is trying. Allow him to be sorry, stop beating him down about it. He knows he did very wrong, and he feels it too” nodding my head “mhmmm well we already have had fuck ups with the girls. I don’t want the boys having that shit either” I admitted “biggest disappointment is Rylee for me, well in my heart she is because she holds herself back every time” nodding my head slowly “I feel like her two ways of her life is either that what she is now which I am not upset about but she is a young mother, but things are slow for her or here where she would have been wild I just know she would have been like North. Her friend group here wasn’t the best, I mean I am proud of her but then as parents we see what she could have been, it’s not too late though but yeah. We agree on one thing” pressing a kiss to her forehead “we do, give Rylee my love and tell her that I will be in contact with her, I will be in London soon” getting off the seat “and be nice to Raihan, he is sorry now” rolling my eyes.

Raihan is ever so silent with me which makes me laugh because he is scared and he should be, I still feel he needs to feel it, what he did was wrong. And we constantly told him to tell us, not to hit him or take things into his own hands “Rylee doesn’t want to see you” Junior said behind him “stop it” Raihan retorted “well if she jumps you then that’s on you” waiting outside the door “but I am sorry” he mumbled “so am I” I shrugged, Junior is laughing “keep laughing I will take aim at you” he side eyed me, the door opened “you still here?” I said to Oakley “why wouldn’t I be?” he looked at the boys “they come to see their nephew” he laughed “he is up actually, like he is acting himself and shit come in” he moved inside “go on boys and apologise to your sister Raihan” I said to him, they both walked in, and I went in behind “suitcases ready, what is this?” Oakley is laughing but I am not “oh” Rylee said, Aziel is walking around again, that is good to see “Rylee I am sorry” Raihan apologised “I got Aziel a toy, I didn’t mean to hurt him” Rylee is staring at Raihan down, that is a death stare Robyn gives, Junior placed his hands on his shoulders and Rylee hasn’t even said a word to him and he just cried “I’m sorry” Aziel looks so confused, kids get over it really but the way Raihan hugged Junior “I didn’t say anything” Rylee said “you look your mother, I think it affected him” walking over to Aziel “one arm bandit, what you been up too. You walking now” he nodded his head “I peepee” he said “all by yourself” he nodded his head “he is a liar, I mean he does say it but have to go with him” Rylee said “Raihan stop crying, I didn’t even say anything to you. You just shouldn’t have touched him" Rylee said.

Opening the Sprite can “have you been staying here?” I asked Oakley “yeah, spare room and that. I just been helping with Aziel and things, spending time with him. Just you know, show unity with things. I think like overlook Aziel in petty things, we stopped that. It’s more like she tells him something, he comes to me and changes it and I agree with mom, like that thing” letting out an oh “finally, because I been peeping he has way more respect for you and that shit alone pissed me off because I am seeing my daughter struggle with him. So that is it yeah” raising an eyebrow “because if that was me and Robyn I would be working my magic with shit, you know what when I think about. I am a sick guy” Oakley laughed “you are, this is why I said it and you denied it. You are a sick man, you move mad. Well you did” I chuckled “nah like we are good, erm. Like we just keeping it co-parents and friends, we just watching TV shows at night, I am trying to help her with Aziel and his behaviour, like he tries it with his mom. I think it’s clicking in his head that dad is there, he isn’t agreeing to things I want. I just want Rylee to enjoy him as much as I do. The kid is sick, he is like the best child and Rylee don’t see that because it’s like she has to tell him off so it’s me doing it too” I am impressed “good, that is what he needs. Keep the energy up in London too” I pointed “we went shopping and she bought Ludo, she knows I love boardgames. And we played that with Aziel, I enjoyed myself so damn much” I laughed out “you are literally the biggest child, it was you that got me into boardgames again. I remember you was like we for the streets and you come to my apartment with boardgames” we both laughed out “I am such a nerd in many ways but boardgames are the best, like it brings shit together always. I scaled shit back, I ain’t doing Breezy hundred. You be on some shit” I snorted laughing, Oakley is a trip. I wouldn’t let Robyn breathe if that was me, she wouldn’t be able to shake me off.

Smiling at Rylee, she smiled back at me but one of those fake sarcastic smiled “what was that for?” I asked, “you keep smiling at me” I rubbed my face laughing “I am being kind” walking over to her “are you good now though?” hugging her, she wrapped her arms around me “erm yeah dad, I would say that I am. I think like, just need to push through. I have book in my citizenship test too” letting out an oh “you really doing it then” she nodded her head “am I going to leave London? Am I going to come back here? Not really” I am not happy, but she wants too, stepping back from her “you don’t have to do that Rylee” she pressed her lips into a hard thin line “I want to do it, and besides dad I live there. And yeah it can get lonely but that is home. Oh god, I have such a busy schedule you know dad, I am in Greece for a week straight” I grinned “that is good though Rylee but remember. It’s his birthday” she smiled “I know, I ruin most of his birthdays so this time I know, I made space. But least I am booked and busy dad, I am happy with that. I can’t believe how much Fendi love me though, like they want me to do more things then I assumed they would have wanted me to do” I am happy she is happy “so as long as you are ok, that makes me happy. Just both of you be there for Aziel. And if you feel things are getting a lot then reach out, we are here” I want her to know that “I did ask Oakley to take Aziel, I felt like he hates me and he said no, and that things can be good, that one parents always gets the short end, that at times he is naughty with him. So he said no, but he has been calm really. He does try it here and there but that is Aziel for you, just taking things slow, I can’t wait to go home, I have drama that awaits me there” nodding my head “I can’t say anything really, you are at peace in London so, yeah. Go for it” what else can I say, I just want to know she is ok, I know my daughter and she has both of me and Robyn in her in many way.

Oakley is strict on Aziel, he keeps making him walk which is good because I would have gave in and carried him “you’re a big boy you know, so you got to not be picked up unless you really can’t, like you climb these steps too” smiling at the pilot “afternoon” he said “afternoon” Aziel walked up the steps one by one “how many steps are they?” Oakley asked, Aziel turned around and he was so confused “I go down” Oakley laughed “nah, go up. Keep going, I ain’t dealing with this up and down business” poor baby, he is trying to impress his dad “he’s only trying to impress you” walking up behind Oakley “he does impress me, he knows that. You know that right, I’m proud of you” Aziel hit into Oakley “yes” why is this boy everywhere, he then proceeded to run and then stop “sit in then, we can sit here. We need to have a talk too” he climbed onto the seat, I think by now I would have helped my son, I would have helped him into the seat and everything “yes” sitting across from them “a talk, least he gets more out of you” placing my bag on the table “I speak to people I want too, how about that. So like with things, Aziel are you listening? So if you be naughty now right, at home and I’m not there, mom is going to tell me now. I am going to know everything and Aziel, you know I said I’m proud of you, I won’t be any more if you be naughty because we don’t do that. And no more hanging with the boys, no more spitting, hitting. That ends now” he is poking his lips out “mommy tell?” Oakley nodded his head “mom will tell me, and then bad behaviour won’t be tolerated got it. You’re too grown for that, if you be good and I’m there with you. You can see the boys, but if there is bad behaviour and all this silly behaviour you do then no” he is taking this in “but I see you” he asked “yeah, I will always be around but me and mom we work together, you be mean to mom then I will know” he looked at me “no I’m not mean” he is in his cute era with that cast on “we be nice now, we represent kindness and all that thing yeah. Like Ruby, she’s a hippie” I frowned at Oakley “why you call your mother a hippie” he shrugged “she is something I guess, Aziel. You want to watch Netflix? Don’t worry about it, just be you but a better you, I know you can do it. Life will be ok, I promise” he smiled at him “yes” I wonder how long this will go on for “I just know in school he about to wild out” Oakley laughed “shit, this is going to be fun” I cringed, I hope he doesn’t, but we can try “I watch Cars please” I’m finding my son so cute, I don’t know what he will be like when his dad isn’t around so we shall see really.

Oakley passed me my MacBook “you finished with it?” He nodded his head “I peeped what I wanted to see, just setting out my American thing” I forgot he told me that “American thing, like it’s your girl” he raised an eyebrow “well” he laughed “shut up, I’ve got a date. I’m going to do the citizenship test I have you know. But then I’m going to have dual citizenship which is dope really” I grinned “you finally doing it, wow. Proper Londoner and that, why not. It’s easier with the travel and never having to apply for add on leaves to remain, I’m happy for you” he is right, less stress when I’m coming and going from the UK “what are you doing for your birthday?” Might as well ask him “erm, staying away from you so you don’t ruin the fifth one” I gasped as he laughed out “asshole!” I spat “I don’t know really, I am joking with what I said” he is such an ass for that “whatever, I can’t believe you” I scoffed “it was funny don’t lie but not sure, yet. You want an invitation” I pulled a face; hey you never know I might ruin it, but will you be here for Aziel first day at school?” I hope he is “of course, I worked around it. It’s a big day for him, like I want to be there for him for it all, I craved that as a child with my parents so yeah, I will be there for his first day and that. Then I will be going on tour, but yeah. What are you doing anyways? A birthday party I can come too?” I chuckled “Aziel’ I was thinking we do it together, do it big for him. And he will be big 5 so we do a big one for him and together, your family, mine” he nodded his head “I agree, that’s cool. I’m for it, we can do it at your house, shit is big enough you know” he has a point, the is home is huge “I agree too” smiling at him.

I left Aziel with Grace, see what he is like with her “she is back!” Halle spat “I am, back with another personality” I laughed “I have just come back you know, I am jet lagged, like I am so tired, but I came out here for you bitches” hugging Halle “aww it is so good to see you back home” I cooed out “Colin doesn’t know yet” I scoffed “are you serious?” I said “I am, like I just need to muster up the courage, trust me I am. But Diji knows and he is really upset with me, and yeah. He said that Colin has been off with him, see it’s not just me but I full take the blame for this, but Wyge has broken up with his girl, and his girl is blaming Cench so good luck to him, look we have so much to catch up on” I blew out air with my eyes wide “hey girl” hugging Lillian “how is Aziel, aww you sent that picture of his poor little face, is he ok though?” moving back from the hug “he is well, I think he is learning. Because his ass was being so bad back home, and he knows it. Peed on my mom floor” sitting down “on miss Fenty floor, boy. I hope he got beat” nodding my head “I did hit him; he was so upset and angry with me. Kept telling me go away but then we had that scare, I am so just so glad that it isn’t anything worse then that, my god. But I need a ice latte please, girls” they can pay “oh it is my turn, I will get it” Lillian got up to get my drink.

Halle not telling is annoying because why haven’t you told him yet, Coling is a good guy “so the girlfriend said Oakley is to blame, you know why right. Because every time he was with you he blamed Oakley. Halle please fucking tell the truth and you’re keeping the bundle of joy?” she smiled “yes, I am so happy” I huffed out “I will only be happy once you tell, please!” grabbing my phone from my bag “oh” Ti is calling me “I will take this, be back” getting up “it’s just Ti, but it’s loud here” answering the call as I made my way out “about time!” Imani spat “huh, I thought Ti was calling me?” I said “it’s a three-way call, Ti has some news” letting out an oh “let me step outside, I am just at a café with my friends. Wasn’t expecting a three-way call” moving by people “facetime, quick please” I scoffed moving the phone away from my ear as I got outside “are you crying?” I said to Ti “girls, you’re both the only people I have told straight away” she managed to say, “what happened?” I am scared now “it’s not bad, I promise. I have just come to the toilets to tell you both. Taylan proposed to me” my mouth fell open, the words hit me because what the fuck “really?” I said in shock “no way!” Imani spat, she showed the ring “wow” this is so unexpected “he fucking proposed to me, like I am crying and. I want you both to be my bridesmaids, please” she is crying and talking “Oh my god” I am speechless “I think me, and Rylee have the same expression” Imani said “I am in shock, wow. Ti. Bridesmaid. You have shocked me, congratulations wow, oh my god. Fuck off, you about to be someone’s wife” she laughed with tears streaming down “that is why I am crying” I snorted laughing “Tianna, wow. Congratulations, I am happy for you” I said, she is just as shocked as us “fuck, how am I going to leave this bathroom without looking crazy” she fucked her makeup all the way up, I didn’t expect Taylan to move like that “wait, are you both going to be my bridesmaids though?” she asked “who else you going to ask!? You know it will be us two” Imani is so quiet “everyone is moving on one hundred and I am still virgin” Tianna and I laughed “stop it Imani, just let’s digest this. How do I be a wife” she is asking us “I don’t think I am the best” I said, “I am a virgins still” Imani added “I really need someone to snatch this virgin uno card you have, I swear to god!” I said, Tianna is laughing so hard, even Imani had to laugh “I wanted to tell my sisters first, wow. This is just, emotional. Oh I wish you both was close” I am happy for her, but it does sting a little.

[starkeyslover]

Baby...

Luke (twdg) x f!reader

Warnings: Pure porn no real plot, unprotected p in v, rough sex, whiny Luke, creampie, Luke taking photo of reader, mention of sucking Luke off, cliffhanger, not proofread.

(NOT MY GIF!!)

"Common Baby, please. I need you so fucking bad." Luke whined put as she sat ontop of him. Her hands are rested on his bare chest as she rolled her hips to tease him. His hands rested on her hips having a firm grip, making his fingertips white.

" Why should I though? You look so handsome like this." She said with a smirk. He let out a groan as she said that. His hands move her hips just a bit, she didn't bother stopping him.

"Take a photo, then. It'll last longer." He responded back with a snicker. She let out a small laugh as she bit her lip. She wanted it just as much as him, she just hid it better. Lifting her hands off of Luke's chest she brings it to the hem of her shirt to take it off. She throws it to the side and looks down at look with a mischievous look.

" Can you take my bra off for me baby? I'm too tired to do it myself." She said in a innocence voice. Luke looks up to her with a raised eyebrow, knowing what she is doing. Even though he knew what she was doing he still did it. His hands left her hips and put them to the bed, lifting himself up. They both let out a moan as he shifted. He sat himself up and brought his hands behind her back to unclip her bra. A small smile forms on her lips as she grabbed his face with her too hands and brought him closer to her. Her breath grazed his lips, his hands unclip her bra and drag down her straps off of her shoulders slowly. Goosebumps form on her skin as a shiver ran down her spin. He closes the gap between them and crashed his lips onto hers. A squeal left her lips as he kissed her harshly. She kissed back as gripped onto his face, leaning him into her. Luke takes off her bra fully and tosses it to the side. His hands run up her sides before cupping both of her breasts in his large hands. A moan leaves her lips at the sudden contact. She could feel him smile agaisnt her lips before he pulled back. A string of saliva connected them.

"Fuckin' hell. I want to fuck you so hard right now." Luke whispered into her ear. A shiver ran down her spine. She leans towards his ear before opening her mouth. " Then do it, no ones going to stop you." She said back with a moan to follow behind. Before she could even pull back to look at him he has already flipped them both over to where she is laying on her back. Luke lifts both of her legs from around his waist to rest on his shoulders. He gave a quick peck to her ankle before thrusting fast and deep into her. A moan rips through her throat and she reaches out to Luke. Gripping onto his strong bicep she pulls him down towards her chest, making her legs go near her head for him to hit even deeper inside of her.

" Oh shi- baby-" Luke moans out at the sudden movement. Y/n grips onto his back, scratching his back down from his shoulder blades to the middle of his lower back. Luke bit into his lip at the feeling, the nice feeling of pain and pleasure. His favorite combo. His hips start to go faster, meaning his close. He didn't want to finish before. His hand goes up to his mouth to give his fingers a lick before bringing it down to rub fast circles on your clit.

" Luke! Oh shit Luke! Fuck yes-!" She cried out in pleasure. Her legs wrap tightly around Luke's waist to keep him even more closer.

" C-come inside-... please-!" She moaned keeping him close.

"Shit-! Baby I can't-" Luke moaned out as he put his face in the crook of you neck as you came. Your walls clenched him tight. Bringing him to his own release. He moans into her neck, shaking at the feeling of you sucking him dry. She shivers at the feeling of him filler her up to the brim. Luke pulls back and takes himself out of her. She moans at the sudden emptiness. Y/n closes her eyes, tired.

"Common her, baby." She mumbled to Luke with her arms open for him to snuggle up to her. She doesn't feel him come, confused she opens her eyes and sees Luke with a camera pointed towards her. Surprised she covers her eyes and let's out a laugh as Luke took the photo.

"Luke!!" She laughed out as she blushed in embarrassment.

" Y/nn!!" Luke mimicked with a laugh as he takes out the photo and shakes it for it to develop faster. He puts the camera to the side and crashes down beside her. She turns to rest her head on his chest and places her hand on his stomach.

" I better look cute in that photo" She jokes as she rolls over onto him, her chest on his chest as her legs went aroudn his waist.

" You look absolutely gorgeous, Y/n." Luke says. She can hear his smile laced in his voice she turns her head to look at the photo and sees herself completely fucked out. She smiles and turns back to snuggle her face into his neck. Inhaling his scent she kissed his collarbone.

" I love you, Luke" She whispered to him. His heart leaped in his chest when he heard those words. A huge smile forms across his face before opening his mouth.

" I love you too, Y/n." They layed there for a bit, tangled together just enjoying eachothers company. Suddenly she pulled back at looked back at Luke with a smile.

" I wanna give you head. You better take photos of me while I do that."

[refinedbuffoonery]

Looking Through A Window (17)

macriley married undercover au

masterlist.

This is low-key a filler chapter, but I'm trying to pack in as much fluff as possible before shit gets real. Also, I wrote ch 18 before writing this one, so expect that update next weekend.

*****

Mac is in the middle of vacuuming when Riley returns from brunch. When Harley meets her at the door, Riley greets her just as enthusiastically, and her scratching sends tufts of hair drifting onto the floor. Right where Mac already vacuumed. 

Oh the joy of having a double-coated dog. 

When Riley stands again, Mac can’t stop himself from drinking in the sight of her in that damn sundress—as if he didn’t get an eyeful when she put it on this morning. Black with white and orange flowers, it has a deliciously low neckline, short sleeves, and is ankle-length with a slit extending most of the way up her thigh. Just that peek of skin—a sliver of her body—has his heart racing. 

Mac knows exactly how he’d take it off her, too, if given the opportunity. He’d start by running his hands along her sides and kissing her. If she allowed it, he’d push her against the door. Trail his lips across her jaw and down her neck. He’d nip at her skin and leave marks, assuming that’s something she likes. Then he’d slowly push the dress off her shoulders. 

He’d press a kiss to her chest. Lower. The next lower still. 

He’d drop a hand to her thigh, slowly dragging his fingers up and down the skin exposed by the slit in her dress, until she begs him for more. His hand would slide all the way beneath her dress, lifting the fabric, and. . .

His train of thought is interrupted by a very real scowl. 

“You’re drooling,” she says by way of admonishment. In the past, she’s scolded him for checking her out, but there’s no heat behind those words anymore. 

“You’re beautiful.” 

The blatant flirting is new for them, but, if the way Riley’s expression changes is any indicator, not unwelcome. Slowly, Mac is testing the waters by saying things he’d never dared to before, and so far each attempt has been met with a blush. This time is no exception. It’s adorable the way she ducks her head in embarrassment, even though her skin is just dark enough to prevent her cheeks from turning red. It makes Mac want to kiss her. 

When Riley recovers, she grins at him and says, “I know.” 

Her hips sway more than usual as she heads for the kitchen, and Harley trots after her. 

“How was brunch?” Mac asks, following like he’s no better than the dog. 

“I should’ve gotten drunker. Those women are nosy.” Riley downs a glass of water. 

“Drunk-er?” Mac questions, even though he’s been around Drunk Riley enough times to recognize when she’s buzzed. Which she totally is. 

The thing is, though, they both know she’d never have actually gotten drunk-drunk. Not on an op. Not around people she doesn’t trust.

“I’m definitely not sober right now, if that’s what you’re asking.” Riley leans on him as she unbuckles the straps on her sandals. “When I wouldn’t answer their invasive questions, they resorted to drinking me under the table.” 

Mac chuckles. “What did they ask?” 

Riley grumbles under her breath. 

“Come on, Riles. Tell me.” She’s struggling to take her shoes off. With every passing second, Mac grows desperate to know what has Riley so flustered. He contemplates giving her a playful nudge, but decides that’ll only make the shoe situation worse. 

“No.” 

“Please?” He’s not above begging. 

“Let’s just say they’re equally bad as Carrie Ann.” 

Part of Mac feels bad for her. The other part thinks her suffering is hilarious. He laughs hard enough to earn a sharp glare. “I hope you were equally nosey back.” 

That glare quickly shifts into a wicked grin. “Ethan’s ex-wife hates him. Apparently in addition to being a total ass, his performance as her husband was particularly unsatisfying.” 

Mac cringes. He did not need to know that. At all. 

Unsurprising, though. 

Riley continues, “Mostly she was annoyed that Ethan mentioned her to us at all. But when we had a moment alone, she said she learned the hard way that he’d sacrifice anyone to further his cause. She warned me to get out of business with him while we still can.” 

Mac wishes they could take her advice. He really does. 

“He’d even turn on Conrad if that became beneficial.” There’s an expectant look in her eyes, like she’s waiting for him to catch on and read between the lines. He considers what they already know about Conrad, about his efforts to cling to power. 

He’s got it. 

“If we could manipulate Ethan into turning on Conrad, then they’ll tear holes in the organization themselves. And they’ll be way more likely to make traceable mistakes. And—”

“And it’ll be way easier to link Cody Rickshaw back to the Patriots,” Riley finishes. 

That’s their goal now. Ever since learning about Cody and Ethan’s plot to assassinate the current governor, the op is no longer just about uprooting the Patriots. They have to get enough evidence to imprison Cody too. 

“I had an idea,” Riley says. “After we bomb the capitol and Conrad inevitably comes after us for the lack of casualties, we go to Ethan and complain. It shouldn’t be hard to convince him that we had no control over the spontaneous day off everyone in the building had. All we did was follow Conrad’s precise directions.” 

“I like the way you think, Riley Davis.” 

Looking smug at the prospect of throwing Conrad under the bus, she darts into the bedroom to put her shoes away. Harley hasn’t chewed anything of theirs (yet), but neither want to give her the opportunity. 

“Speaking of the bomb, how’s it coming?” 

Mac looks at the partially-assembled pieces laid out neatly across the kitchen counter, the last of which he put together this morning. “It’s ready.” 

A grim nod. “Tomorrow night, then.” 

“Tomorrow night,” Mac agrees. 

There’s a long pause, and then—

“Now that we’ve got that settled,” Riley says, “I really have to pee.” 

Leaving Mac blinking at the abrupt change of subject, she vanishes around the corner. Harley is hot on her heels, never one to let someone go to the bathroom alone. 

Dogs. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.

Mac looks around the room. There’s more vacuuming to be done. 

Dogs, indeed.

*****

They coordinate with Matty to quietly have the capitol and surrounding buildings evacuated. All employees will either work remotely or be given a paid day off. Every step of the process has to be done carefully, so not even a whisper of their planned bombing will land on outside ears. 

Mac doesn’t have a clue how Matty manages to convince the governor of Texas—a man she hates, who before today didn’t even know she exists—to do her bidding. It’s beyond impressive, really. 

Later, Bozer confirms that he’s quietly moving more first responders into the city, and in case something goes wrong, a bomb squad will be on standby. 

The rest, however, is up to Mac. 

*****

Now that he finished the bomb, there’s nothing for them to do but hurry up and wait, and after narrowly avoiding Matty discovering that Riley overindulged while on the clock, Mac is desperate to get out of the apartment and feel some semblance of normalcy. Even if he has to pretend. 

So the Turner family piles into the car and drives to the nearest dog park. For the entire duration of the drive, Harley stands on the center console, alternating between helping Mac drive and contemplating jumping into Riley’s lap. Mostly she just hogs the A/C. 

Mac puts his hand on the back of Riley’s seat while parallel parking, squeezing their SUV into the tight space between cars. He doesn’t understand why people think parallel parking is so hard. It’s just geometry. There’s even a formula you can use to calculate whether a spot is the right size for your car before ever backing into it. You just need to know the width of the car in front, the length of your car’s chassis, the distance between the front wheel and the front of your car, and your car’s turn radius. Then, all you need to do is plug it in and—

The hungry way Riley is looking at him makes every thought about parking vanish, and Mac stomps on the brake. Heat licks up his body in the wake of Riley’s gaze as it travels from his hand, up his arm, then to his face. He bites his lip, and her gaze lingers, darkening. 

The vehicle lurches, and Riley blinks repeatedly, like the movement snapped her out of a trance. “Why’d you stop?” she asks innocently. 

This woman is going to be the death of him. 

“How,” he rasps, “am I supposed to focus when you’re looking at me like that?” 

She swallows. Mac can’t help studying the way her throat bobs, just like he can’t help thinking about putting his lips there. Tasting her. For a moment, he forgets about everything but her. 

“Mac,” she says in a low voice. He hums. “Mac.”

There’s a nagging feeling in the back of Mac’s mind, like he was in the middle of something important before this. He ignores it. 

That is, until Riley waves her hand in his face. 

“Earth to Mac. Are you going to finish parking, or what?”

He blinks. Right. Parking. 

It’s hard to conceal his blush since he has to face her in order to finish parking, but Mac fights to keep his expression neutral. Judging by the smirk on Riley’s face, he’s not doing a very good job. 

When they get out of the car, they still have to cross the street to get to the dog park. Harley is supposed to wait for them to signal that it’s safe to cross the street, but after Mac does an admittedly poor job of checking for oncoming traffic before stepping off the sidewalk, he feels the bite of teeth gripping his palm. Gently holding his hand in her mouth, it’s like Harley is admonishing him for not following protocol. Not knowing what else to do, Mac apologizes to her. 

He checks traffic again—carefully this time—and signals to Harley that it’s safe to cross. This time Harley follows, but she doesn’t release his hand. The leash drags on the ground between them. 

On his other side, Riley links her fingers through his, still smirking. “Just following directions,” she explains, glancing at their joined hands. Mac’s cheeks heat. It’s embarrassing, really, how easily she flusters him. It’s the little things that do him in.

Still, that doesn’t stop him from squeezing her hand.  

The park, it turns out, is puppy paradise. The massive, fenced-in grassy space has an agility course, multiple splash pads, and even a tennis ball launcher. Dogs of all shapes and sizes fill the park, happy to be out on a nice Saturday afternoon.

When he first pictured this outing, Mac imagined Harley dutifully waiting by his side until he said, “Go ahead.” 

In reality, Harley can barely contain herself as other dogs race by. Leash still attached, she nearly yanks Mac’s arm from its socket by lunging for a passing tennis ball. She tries to run after it, but only succeeds in running in a circle and effectively wrapping both Mac and Riley in the leash. Mac grunts as their bodies slam together, the leash tightening around their knees. 

“Goddammit, Harley,” he mutters.

Limited in mobility, it takes both of them to hold Harley still long enough to unclip the leash. Training be damned. 

That’s the problem with smart animals. They love to say, Fuck you. I do what I want.

Mac glares at Harley. Case in point.

Then there’s still the matter of being stuck in the leash. That’s the only part of this situation Mac allows himself to think about, or else risking getting lost in the way his thighs press against Riley’s or how his first instinct was to grab her waist to steady her or that her face is well within kissing range. No, he’s definitely not thinking about that.

He’s both disappointed and relieved when they step apart.

Sunlight reflecting off her glittery black collar, Harley puts her nose to the ground and begins an almost systematic sweep of the park. She barely acknowledges the other dogs as she passes, achieving a professional level of focus.

When she passes a toddler’s forgotten peanut butter sandwich without so much as a glance, Mac realizes that Harley is working.

She circles the agility course once, twice, and after sniffing the far side for a third time, she sits.

An alert.

“What the hell?” Riley mutters, going after her. Mac is right on her heels. 

They check the whole area. But nothing is there. 

Riley pulls out her phone. “I can hack local police records to see if—” she stops mid-sentence. “Got it.” 

That was hella fast. Even for her. 

“Did you serious hack—” Riley cuts him off with a look like, Don’t be stupid.

“Oh, husband.” Mac can’t conceal the shiver that runs down his spine at that word. “Why do you always insist on doing things the hard way?” She pauses for dramatic effect. “I checked the news.”

She hands him her phone, and sure enough, there it is. A news story about police arresting a couple of gun-toting gang members last night, in this very park.

“Holy shit.” He glances down at Harley, who is still sitting perfectly still, waiting to be rewarded. He scratches her in that spot she likes below her left ear. “Good girl.”

“You know,” Riley says, eyes still on her phone, “it’d be really nice to have a dog like her in the field with us sometimes.”

Harley tilts her head, like she knows they’re talking about her.

Mac thinks, It really would.

.

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[ptergwen]

no sleep

pairing: singer!reader x tom holland || w/c: 1.6k

warnings: swearing and many many many suggestive jokes

summary: you’re on jimmy kimmel to talk about your music, but he has other plans

a/n: y’all i’ve literally always wanted to write singer!reader and this idea just came to me and i had to get it out because it’s so cute :,) i really hope ya like it

-

jimmy kimmel invited you onto his show to promote a single from your upcoming album. you stepped out of the spotlight for a while, so this is your first official appearance of the year.

“my first guest tonight...” there’s a cheer from the audience. you grin to yourself, waiting for jimmy to finish announcing you.

“you wanna say it for me?” he chuckles and stands your picture up on his desk. “my first guest tonight surprised fans this morning with her new single ‘no sleep.’ it’s currently number one in over seventy countries.” jimmy holds for applause, which you get a ton of. you cover your hot face with your hands.

“she’s here to talk to us about the song and her short hiatus. please welcome y/n y/l/n!”

the music plays while you walk onstage, followed by more cheers and clapping. you’re beaming as you wave to everyone. you give jimmy a quick hug and exchange hello’s over the noise.

you’ve been in the industry for a few years, but you’ll never get used to responses like this. all the love really warms your heart.

“thank you!” you giggle out, taking your seat on the couch. the audience yells some more when the music dies out. “thank you so much! oh my god,” you make a face at jimmy, who laughs and gestures to everyone. “they clearly hated the song,” he jokes to you. “i was gonna say,” you agree, smoothing your dress down.

you look out at the crowd with a pout. “no, seriously. you guys are so cute.” jimmy copies your pout, earning a playful eye roll from you.

you’ve been on the show a couple of times before, so you two are friendly. tom has also brought you to chill backstage with him when he was a guest. you would’ve brought him this time if he wasn’t away for filming.

“so, you took most of the year off from making music,” jimmy starts the actual conversation. “mhm, i did,” you hum and cross one of your legs over the other. “how was that? was it weird not being in the studio?” you scrunch your face up, then he adds another question. “what did you actually do with yourself?”

“i mean, music is obviously a big part of who i am. making it, loving it, all that stuff.” a small smile crosses your face. “so, yeah. it sort of felt like something was missing at first.” jimmy nods along, you shrugging one of your shoulders.

“at the same time, i really needed to take a minute and just breathe. come back with my shit more together. i think i have,” you let out a reflective sigh. “it didn’t have anything to do with your boyfriend? a mr. tom holland?” jimmy teases, you waving a hand at him. “no, don’t give him all the credit.”

your break genuinely was for yourself. no one needs to know that tom was also off, or that he spent all his free time with you. that was just a plus.

“are you sure? because, it seemed like you two were getting really cozy.” a picture from your instagram pops up on the screen. it’s of tom under a blanket. he’s reaching out for you with a lazy smile. you lean over on the couch so you’re off camera, another giggle escaping you.

jimmy flips to another picture. “that was exhibit A. here’s exhibit B.” the whole audience coos, jimmy raising his eyebrows at you. this one is a mirror selfie from tom’s instagram. your arms are slung around his neck from behind, and half your face is hidden. tom is doing his signature eye crinkling smile into the camera.

“aren’t they just adorable?” jimmy asks the audience, making them erupt in more cheers. you sit up again and clear your throat. seeing those is bittersweet for you. “he’s very cuddly. anyway, back to the music!” you do a small clap. little do you know, there’s much more to come.

“yes, yes. back to the music. talk to me about ‘no sleep.’” the song is one hundred percent about tom. you’re not sure you should say that, considering the... explicit content in it. you and tom did get very cozy over your break, as jimmy would say. it was the only time you weren’t relaxing.

“well,” you plaster on an overly happy smile. that earns more laughter from jimmy. “it’s about what you do in bed when you’re, um, not sleeping,” you explain. “and who do you do those things in bed with?” jimmy glances up at the screen again. “you’re choosing violence today, jimmy,” you say under your breath.

there’s a chuckle from backstage that sounds eerily similar to tom’s. it must have been a PA. all this talk about him is seriously fucking with your head.

“well, everyone in my life inspires my work in some way. they’re such angels,” you dodge the question, thinking you’re clever about it. jimmy won’t let you get off that easy. “friends? family?” he asks you. “yeah, everyone,” you exhale in relief. jimmy widens his eyes at you. “so, that means ‘no sleep’ is about your mom?”

your mouth falls open. he’s really going to make you spill the details of your sex life.

“what the fuck, no!” you squeal, looking out into the audience for help. they join in your laughter. “it’s about tom,” you finally confirm so jimmy doesn’t suggest anything else. “it’s about tom, my god. next topic.” you’re smiling despite yourself.

“why? don’t you wanna tell us more about your lover?” jimmy glances off to the side. what is going on back there? you sit up straighter in your spot. “no, this is my interview!” you’re half joking, half serious.

although you and tom aren’t private at all, you’ve never talked about him this much. it’s overwhelming. besides that, this is making you miss him a lot.

“that’s too bad. we thought... we thought you might like to share it,” jimmy is already grinning about whatever he has planned. this isn’t supposed to be part of your segment. “huh? i’m literally so lost.” you furrow your eyebrows at him, lowering your voice. “we didn’t talk about this.”

he pats the arm of your couch. “they say there’s no time like the present. ladies and gentlemen, tom holland!”

on cue, tom runs out from backstage. the audience practically roars with how loud they are. people even jump out of their seats. you clasp a hand over your mouth in pure shock. this feels like a prank, like jimmy is about to say sike. then, tom comes up to the couch. you almost fall over, jimmy proudly watching on.

tom grins so wide it takes up his whole face. “happy release day,” he murmurs as you get to your feet. you’re not able to speak just yet, only staring up at him with glossy eyes. he brings you into a tight hug. his hands rub up and down your back, your arms snaking around his middle.

“tommy,” you try to whisper the nickname. you forgot your microphone is on. everyone “aw’s” at you both, including jimmy. “my love,” tom’s lips brush your cheek briefly. “hi, baby,” he speaks into your ear. you hide your face in his button up while he rocks you side to side.

he’s been away for a couple of months working on the third spider-man. this is the first time you’ve seen him since he left.

“shouldn’t you be in atlanta?” you ask louder this time for the audience to hear. you’re still doing an interview. “today’s a big day. i had to see you,” tom gives you one last squeeze. “in person,” he adds, before you can say you already facetimed.

the fact that him and jimmy put this whole thing together is making you emotional. you’d be fully crying if you two were alone right now.

“she doesn’t want you here, though. remember?” jimmy chimes in, tom breathing out a laugh. he sadly lets go of you. you flop back onto the couch, tom pointing behind him with his thumb. “i’ll just be on my way. five hour flight, no big deal.” “no, no, no, no. stay,” you whine and make grabby hands at him.

that’s all it takes for tom to slip into the spot next to you. he bites back a smile, putting an arm around you and the couch. you don’t want to annoy everyone with too much pda, so you subtly curl into his side. the people actually love you and tom together. jimmy claps his hands.

“we’ll be right back with y/n y/l/n and tom holland!” he says into the camera, the band playing more filler music. he steps out from behind the desk to greet tom. tom stands up, the two of them giving each other pats on the back. the camera stops rolling.

“hey, man. thanks for doing this,” tom puts a hand on jimmy’s arm. “anything for the happy couple. i’m gonna get some water, see you in five.” jimmy shoots you another smile on his way to his dressing room. you return it. that leaves you and tom to yourselves.

“baby,” you say in a sing song voice, dropping your head onto tom’s shoulder. “i’m so happy you’re here. i real life almost peed when you came out.” tom snakes his arm around your waist. “that would be upsetting,” he mumbles, his index finger drawing circles on you. “it would’ve ruined your very pretty dress.”

“you like it?” you knowingly tug at the form fitting material. tom shifts in his spot. “i’ll tell you what,” he leans in closer to you with a smirk, his breath tickling your ear. “we’re getting no sleep tonight,” he sings from the chorus of your song. you burst into a giggle and squeeze your eyes shut.

he ends up being right.

[luciferbacon]

So I wrote my first fic. It’s a shakarian fic filled with angst. Thank you to @that-wildwolf for beta reading it.

CW: hospitals, depression and death.

But no words came

I had never seen Garrus like this before. He seemed desolate and hollow. As we sat in the shuttle on the way back to the Normandy, he just sat there. Leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees, his hands trying to hide his face. But I could see. I could see the dead pan look on his face, totally devoid of any emotion.

But I knew that emotion all too well. When you’re so overwhelmed that your mind just… stops. Stops emotion, stops thinking, stops living. You become robotic. Going about your daily routine as if on a timer. Just so you can get to the end of the day to try to sleep, but each day is the same. Wake up, eat, mission, eat, paperwork, eat, sleep.

But I could see something else in Garrus in that moment. I could sense anger. His mandible twitching ever so slightly. He did it always when about to curse someone out.

But no words came.

I think that was the worst part: the silence on the journey back. Just the sound of the shuttle’s engine humming.

I decided to give him space for the rest of the day. We had a debriefing and then paperwork. I was hoping during that paperwork he would just unleash that fury that I saw twitching to get out onto his mattress or pillows. Anyway, I had paperwork to do too. Miranda always asked us to write the mission from our perspectives for the reports, and wasn’t going to get on her bad side. Only a fool would do that when she reported back to the Illusive Man.

- - -

As I put down my pen I realised the time. Shit, I was late for dinner. I didn’t bother tidying, what’s the point. I wasn’t one for company, and a clean desk always seemed a little too clinical.

I scanned the room as I entered the mess hall, looking for someone easy to talk to.

Mordin, no, too cerebral, a conversation with Mordin made my brain short circuit before a word ever left my lips. Second guessing everything, I was about to say to make sure I didn’t look dumb or not staying caught up with the Salarian’s speech pattern. It had always been an issue. The lack of filler words made my brain want to fill them in so I was always running a few words behind.

Maybe Zaeed, pass, he gloated about his military operations in the Terminus Systems. The glory days. Those days seemed to be mostly behind him now. His reactions were still as sharp as his aim, but on his down time you could see time catching up with him. While not old, it seemed like desk life was slowly getting nearer. He’d been one hell of a merc and it was taking its toll. Knowing Zaeed and his dislike of paperwork though, he’d be a merc for the rest of his life.

Then my eyes fell on him. Garrus, sat all alone in the corner, pushing his food around like a kid forced to eat their vegetables.

I hadn’t even looked at what I had selected for dinner.

I looked down at my tray. Some form of creamy rice with uneven cubes of meat and thick slices of mushrooms. The chef had clearly tried to mimic a risotto, and it certainly looked better than his previous attempts.

“Food not good?” I said, sitting down opposite Garrus. He didn’t look up, instead grunting a sound that could be taken as confirmation. I put a spoonful of risotto in my mouth. Damn, it’s crunchy. Can’t even cook rice right. It’s not that difficult to tell if it’s done. But The Illusive Man didn’t hire him for his cooking ability.

“What did you get?” I asked, trying my best to break the silence. Not that the silence was an issue, we’ve shared silences deeper than conversations. Raising his head a little, his eyes met mine. And in that moment, I saw his emotions laid bare. The eyes of a broken man who couldn’t even comprehend how broken he truly was. I wish the world was kinder to you. I wish your past had been easier. I hope I can make your future something to look forward to. Hell, I’m going to give it my best shot.

Garrus’s omnitool beeped. I knew that sound all too well. His calibrations were done.

“Follow me,” he growled. We scraped our trays of food in the bin before we left, it seemed many others had the same idea. We knew better than to leave our trays on the table, Gardner would try to serve it to us again.

We walked in silence to the battery. Thankfully, the majority of the people who normally would be milling about, that would interrupt us, were in the mess. As we got to the battery, Garrus started typing away as if I wasn’t even there waiting for an answer.

“You know you can talk to Chambers if you’re feeling depressed…”

“To be clear, I’m not depressed. I’m reacting appropriately to the world around me,” Garrus snapped.

“And what world is that, Garrus?” I snapped back. “I’m sorry, but I can’t stand to see someone I care about so hurt. Please tell me what’s going on. Maybe I can help?”

“No. No one can help, that’s the problem. No one knows what it’s like, okay? I’ve got to deal with this alone.” His voice trembled, on the verge of breaking.

“Maybe I can help, we won’t know unless you share it with at least someone. Please, please, I just want to help,” I begged.

“It’s…” He cleared his throat. “It’s my mother, Shepard.” I knew what words were coming, I could tell from the trembling in his voice, but I knew he had to say them. It was part of the process his mind had to go through. “She’s dying,” he managed to squeak out.

“Garrus…” I lifted a hand towards his cheek. “I’m so sorry.” He turned his face away from my hand. “I know the pain of losing a loved one, Garrus. I know your pain.”

“No Shepard, you don’t know, your family were killed. Mine is slowly slipping away in front of me!” Garrus screamed. All I could do was stand there bewildered. Garrus stared at me, my face must have shown my shock at the boldness of his statement.

“Spirits, Shepard, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” His face showed his humiliation. “I’m so sorry, that was uncouth of me.”

“What’s wrong with her?” I managed to say in an attempt to move on.

“Corpalis Syndrome, they say they can treat her. But it’s not going to be cheap and it’s not guaranteed…” His voice trailed off.

“To work?… Garrus, if there’s a chance, we have to try.”

“Shepard, I appreciate you trying, but I can’t afford it. That’s the problem. I have no choice, not on a vigilante's salary. Not to support myself too.” The pain in his voice was deafening. “My family lives reasonably comfortably but these treatments are expensive…”

“Then let me help. If you won’t let me pay toward treatment, that’s understandable, but let me make sure that you have the means to pay for the treatment and not worry about anything else.”

“You would do that for me, Shepard?!”

“Of course, Garrus. You’re my…” I wanted to say the word, but I couldn’t bring myself to say it. “My friend…”

“I’ll pay you back, Shepard, I swear.”

“You can pay me back when she’s better.” I didn’t want to give Garrus hope where there’s almost none, but I couldn't let the mood slide again.

- - -

The smell of bleach burnt my nose as I entered the building. It felt so cold and lonely even though there were a lot of Salarians bustling about around me. The Foyer was large and full of shops selling everything from food to gifts for your loved ones that you are visiting. I didn’t have a positive connotation with hospitals, but I had promised Garrus to come and visit his mother. Maybe he thought a visit would show how my money was helping him and his family. But that meant nothing to me. I just wanted him to be happy and not to have to worry about his family while he was out on missions. It wasn't that I didn’t care what was happening at the hospital. But I knew Garrus and that he would have done extensive research for the best care for his mother. I knew I didn’t have to worry. Whatever the outcome, he would know that he gave it his best shot. Even if the guilt of not doing more still lingered in his heart.

“Should we get her a gift?” I asked.

“Shepard, your help has been a gift enough.” I could hear the tremble of nerves on his voice. I don’t know how long it had been since he had last seen her, but he had never mentioned visiting her in the years that I had known him.

“Tough, I’m getting her one,” I retorted. As I looked through the gifts, I realised I knew nothing about her, let alone what an average Turian would like. Buying gifts for Garrus was different, he had a fascination for everything, especially human technology. He always ended up trying to upgrade them. I ran my hand over the items on the table, trying to make it look like I was making a decision.

“You have no idea what to get, do you?” Garrus inquired. “Let’s just go to her, she’s waiting.”

Defeatedly, I followed Garrus. He didn’t even stop to ask for directions at the information desk. He had purpose in his step and seemed impatient to see her.

As we turned corner after corner, the walls became less and less bare, and covered in pin boards of posters about diseases and viruses. It became less and less institutional and more and more compassionate.

Garrus stopped abruptly. “We’re here,” he uttered, his hand hovering over the door handle. I didn’t know what to expect but if Garrus’s demeanour was anything to go by, it wasn’t going to be good.

I knew nothing about Corpalis Syndrome, but I knew that people never survived it. While they were ill, they wouldn’t be able able to work or pull their weight due to neurological degeneration and to a Turian that would be worse than death. It was only recently that the Helos Medical Institute proceeded with testing on a possible new treatment. Garrus was lucky to secure a spot.

“She’s waiting,” I prompted Garrus. He hesitantly opened the door. Inside, I was greeted by cables and machinery beeping. The whir of pumps connected to IV bags of purple liquid that I had never seen the likes of before. All these wires and tubes led to the same place. The bed. She lay there, looking frail for a Turian of her age. The toll of the disease on her mind had drained her body too. She barely stirred from her slumber as we entered.

Garrus perched on the side of the bed and held her hand, and gestured for me to approach.

“Mother, this is Shepard.” Garrus stated, trying to keep his voice strong and his emotions in check. “My… friend.” He gave me a look as if to say, ‘this is pay back for earlier.’

“Mrs Vakarian, it is such a pleasure to meet you.” My voice didn’t hide my anxiety very well.

“Please, sit,” she managed to mumble.

“Here, let me get you a drink,” Garrus stated as he poured his mother a glass of water from her bedside table and lifted it to her lips.

“Thank you, Garrus.” She coughed before continuing “I’m glad you have come to see me. I wondered if I would see your face again.”

“Mother, please, this treatment will work. Then we can make up for all those lost years of missions taking up all my time to see you.” He could hardly keep his composure.

Garrus’s mother laid her hand on Garrus’s shoulder. “My dear, look at me.” Garrus lifted his head to meet her gaze. “It isn’t about all the time we’ve lost. It’s the fact that you’re here now that means the most to me.” Garrus closed his eyes in an attempt to hide his sorrow. “You’ve been through so much…” she raised her hand to brush Garrus’s scars briefly, “but I know the stars would be so proud to to know their atoms created someone like you.”

“Mother, I’m not…” Garrus tried to speak, but the lump in his throat stopped him.

“You are amazing, Garrus. You’ve made me proud and you’ve brought honour to the family name. The spirits must have blessed me to have a son like you.” The rasp came back to her voice and Garrus promptly gave his mother another sip of water.

“Look out the window, Garrus, what do you see?” Garrus’s mother said firmly. She turned her head towards the window.

I hadn’t noticed it before, I had been distracted by all the machines trills and beeps. But there before me was probably the most colourful sunrise I had ever seen. The sun rising slowly above the mountains in the distance slowly shedding more and more light onto the stony plains stretching for miles in front of us.

“The sunrise, mother, but I have seen thousands before. Thousands of sunrises, lots of the same suns. I guess this one is just as pretty.” Garrus had barely turned his head to look. His focus was adamantly on his mother.

“It’s no fault of the sun if the eye cannot see its beauty,” she replied as she raised her hand to Garrus’s face once again, her thumb stroking his cheek. Garrus’s mandible twitched and a faint wail of sorrow could be heard through the crack in his veneer.

There was barely a knock on the door before a Salarian doctor came barging in. “Out, out, must do tests now, very important, can’t wait.” His hands ushering us out. Garrus kissed his mother and stood up, the Salarian almost pushing him out the door. “You too please,” the doctor asserted.

As I turned and slowly left I heard a voice from behind me. “Promise me you’ll look after him for me, Shepard, when I’m gone. I know you will, but promise me that you will.”

“I promise.”

- - -

Showers always seemed to calm me down. The sound of the water reminded me of rain, oh how I missed proper rain. The feeling of the hot water on my back soothed my aching muscles. It was getting out that was the worst. I had to come back to the real world. This time was no different, but for some reason I felt at ease. I put on my little black dress, ready for a relaxing evening with Garrus. He seemed better recently, happier. He had been telling me about how the doctors have been messaging him. That she was feeling much less lethargic but her appetite had decreased and she was confused and hallucinating. But that wasn't to be worried about. She was in the best possible care.

As I exited the bathroom, I saw him in the doorway. I must not have heard him knock. “Hey, I brought wine. Best I could afford on a vigilante's salary.” That line had now become something like a running joke between us whenever we bought each other gifts. He made his way to the stereo and switched it on, not even bothering to change the track to a more suitable tone for the evening we had planned. But I didn’t care, I had Garrus for the evening and nothing was going to interrupt us. After all the missions we’ve done together and all the scars we’ve gained. We earnt this time together. And I wasn’t going to waste it.

I sauntered up to Garrus. I just wanted to kiss him then and there, but I restrained myself. I liked to see him embarrassed and uncomfortable. His mandibles twitched ever so slightly when he was uncomfortable, not like when he was angry, but a happy twitch. Like a smile that you can’t hold in.

“If you were Turian, I’d be complimenting your waist or your fringe. So your… um… hair… looks good. And your waist is very… supportive.” If a Turian could blush I would bet good money he would be right now. “Hopefully that’s not offensive in human culture-” I cut him off trying to save him further embarrassment.

“Whoa, consider me seduced, smooth talker! Now shut up and stop worrying.” I turned off the music, it just seemed like too much now. Unnecessary noise when all I wanted to hear was his voice.

“I just… I’ve seen so many things go wrong,Shepard. My work at C-Sec, what happened with Sidonis…” I kept eye contact with him. I knew him by now, just by making his emotions known took a great deal of pressure off his shoulders. And he knew that I would support him any way I could. I had proven that to him time and time again.

“I want something to go right. Just Once. Just…”

My hand instinctively caressed his cheek. I hoped he knew how much I cared for him. How much his flaws weren’t flaws to me. But proof that he was more real than anyone else out there. And that it was his flaws that made him perfect in my eyes.

As I lowered my hand, his head bowed to meet mine, and we had a moment of understanding and unity. His hand was clutching at my arm, I felt safe and warm, unlike the world on the other side of the bedroom doors.

It felt like hours had passed when we left our trance, but in reality it had only been about 10 minutes. Enough time for my calves to start complaining about standing so long in these impractical heels. I followed Garrus to the sofa and sat on his lap. He liked the pressure on his legs. Knowing I was there and safe, but most importantly real. One hand holding onto his forearm and the other around his Carapace for support. “Shall we move this to the bed?” I suggested seductively.

Just as we were about to sit down, Garrus’s Omnitool beeped. He opened the message without a moment's hesitation once he saw who it was from.

“It’s from the doctors…” Garrus collapsed onto the bed in a heap. “I can’t believe it…” His mandible twitched, but this time it didn’t seem like anger or embarrassment or happiness. This was something new.

“She’s…” His voice was somehow more coarse and gruff than I’ve ever heard it before. “…dead.”

The room went silent. I couldn’t even hear the engine hum like I usually could. Garrus was still sitting there statuesque. Probably frozen in fear of what came next or if this was some horrible dream as a result of buying some bad wine. Either way, I knew no words would heal this pain. There was nothing I could do, no matter how hard I tried. I wrapped my hands around his shoulders and held him tight, pulling him down to a more comfortable position laying on the bed. We just laid there, wondering when the other was going to speak.

But no words came.

[hereforhalstead]

Showtime - Part 2

*Gif not mine, credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader.

• Requested: Part 2!

• Warnings: Swearing

• Summary:   Part 2 of being undercover with Adam, despite being in a secret relationship with Jay. You can find Part 1 here..

• Words: 2353

• A/N : Part 3 coming shortly as I know not much happened here but needed a filler! Also, kind of wish I had wrote this as being undercover with Kevin as that man really doesn’t get the recognition he deserves, but I got inspo when Hailey was undercover with Adam so will have to be one for next time!

***

“What’s the hold up?” you jump as Voight’s rough voice booms from behind you “The mic was playing up so just had to get it fixed, Sarge” Jay responds for the pair of you as you nod in agreement “Right well let’s get going. Jay you’re with Kim and Y/N, Adam is waiting for you in the car outside. Let’s move” he instructs before stomping past you, leaving you and Jay stood in an awkward silence “Good luck” he sarcastically offers with a grin on his face, you find his confidence amusing considering the night he is in for but decide to go along with his humor “Thanks baby, but I don’t need luck”.

“Sarge, we need a code word to listen out for” Hailey speaks across the radio, you pick up the one hidden under Adam’s seat to respond “Mocktail”. Adam looks at you with his bottom lip out and nods “Hey, that’s a good one” he reassures and you place the back of your hand under your chin to gloat “thank you, thank you”. 

As you approach the club, Voight pulls over into a nearby road to hang back and is soon followed by Jay pulling up behind him to park his truck “You head inside, I’ll leave it a few minutes and follow you in” he directs to Kim who tousles her hair before walking off. Adam stops the car next to Voight’s and you wind your window down to allow him to speak “Jay and Kim will be close by and Kev, Hailey and I will be listening in. Any sign of trouble and you get out or say the word and we will be there” he orders and you can feel Jay staring at you from the other side of Voight “Don’t leave her alone in there, can’t be bothered going through the process of getting another partner” he confesses to Adam with a chuckle, Voight glances at him with a stern look on your behalf “Are you still here?” he asks and you try to hide the smile that is spreading on your face at the change in Jay’s confidence “I’m going” he huffs and exits the car.

Adam drives slowly alongside Jay as he traipses along the side walk, still with the window wound down Adam leans across to speak out of your window “Make mine a double water with a side of Lemon, will you?” he grins but Jay isn’t entertained “Careful or I’ll replace it with worse” he threatens back with a sarcastic smile “No tip for you then” Adam tuts before putting his foot down to speed towards the club “Who’s pissed him off?” he questions but you choose not to answer. 

You watch as Jay walks in the back entrance, giving you a look over his shoulder before heading in. Adam hands the keys over to the valet before giving him some speech about how expensive the car is and if there is so much as a scratch he will make him pay for it, how easily he slips into this kind of character is honestly baffling.. The poor man reassures Adam and drives to park the car, Adam turns to you and naturally slings his arm round your waist and settles his hand at the base of your spine to direct you. “You good?” he whispers in your ear and you nod “If you want to leave, just put your hand on my knee and I’ll make an excuse.” he calmly offers and it instantly helps calm any nerves you had, you had been undercover in clubs a few times but not with a group quite this dangerous so it would’ve been strange if you weren’t a bit on edge.

Your eyes instantly fix onto Jay who is stood behind the bar, pouring a drink and handing it to Kim. You’re not shocked to find he is already looking at you, slight worry in his eye as he chews the inside of his lip. One of his classic go to when he is anxious, you thought you were going straight to VIP but one of the men approach you and Adam first. Out of no where, a tall man in a black suit stands closely to Adam and that’s when you realise his ear piece and mic pinned to the collar of his shirt “Dan and Alice?” he asks and Adam is quick to offer his hand out to the man “that’s us, sir”. The man glances down to Adam’s hand but then ignores it, Adam returns his hand onto the small of your back with a grunt so quiet that only you could hear it. “This way, you’re late and they’re waiting for you”. He extends his arm to direct you to the VIP area “All due respect, they’re waiting on our money so we’re not in a rush” Adam jokes but the man remains stern “That’s quite the attitude you got there, he always like this sweetie?” he aims the conversation to you and you roll your eyes “Only when he doesn’t get what he wants, doesn’t happen often” you wink and notice the corners of his mouth flicker into a smile briefly before falling back to the scowl “Let’s get on with this then.” he walks round behind the pair of you, forcing you to walk ahead “What a nice guy” Adam mumbles to you, causing you to nudge his chest with your elbow as a warning “You deserved that” a voice speaks from behind you, a reminder he was hot on your heels and could hear everything you were saying “If you’ve got any other sarky comments, I suggest you get them out now because they’re not as forgiving”.

***

What seemed like a few hours had gone by and you well and truly felt like a spare part, sat on Adam’s lap as a mere trophy to impress the others. Joining in the conversation every now and then but apart from that, you remained quiet to offer a smile or the occasional sympathetic laugh. “You wouldn’t mind going to grab us some drinks, darlin’?” one of the men leans forward to you and hands you his empty glass. You don’t accept his gesture as you leave the glass in his hand and don’t make any effort to move “Isn’t that what the staff are for? Shit VIP area if you have to get your own drinks” you scoff and run your fingers through Adam’s hair “Be a good girl and run along, the men have some business to discuss” he winks and you instantly feel you could vomit. “Just grab us a bottle off the top shelf and some glasses, isn’t hard” Adam stares down the man before he taps your leg and places a kiss to your shoulder “Won’t be long baby, you might find some friends at the bar” you grimace a smile at him and huff as you stand from his lap, ensuring you pull down your dress to have some attempt in covering your ass as you head down the stairs. 

Jay already has his eyes on you as you scan over to the bar, taking a mental note of where Kim’s stood and making your way over to her. You lean forward on the bar to Jay, knowing full well your chest is very much extenuated as he struggles to keep his eyes up “A bottle of your finest whiskey and 5 glasses, we’re in VIP so you can just bring them over. Thanks” you demand and hold up the VIP card you had been given to add to the tab.

“Doesn’t work that way angel, you take your own drinks. I’m not a server” Jay is quick to hit back, clearly enjoying his new role “Whatever, just get me the bottle and a shot of vodka” you put the card on his side of the bar and turn to lean your back on the bar and look towards Adam.

“Everything alright?” Kim quietly asks from beside you as Jay places the shot on the bar, you pick it up as quick as it is put down and drink it in one “Splendid”. 

“Are you gonna take this, or?” Jay pipes up from behind you, you turn to look at him and he truly is a sight. Bar towel slung over his shoulder, shirt sleeves rolled up to the elbows and a slight glisten on his skin “No you’re gonna bring it for me.” you smile and strut away from the bar. Jay looks over to Kim who tries to hide her smile in her hand as he rolls his eyes “Voight, never give her this role again. She’s relishing in it far too much” Jay grumbles into the microphone hidden in his collar, Kim is quick to speak back before Jay can walk away “Don’t listen to him Sarge, I think he’s secretly enjoying seeing her in a short dress and heels”.

You can sense Jay watching intently as you make your way up the stairs in front of him, only urging you to swing your hips more with every step. You reach the top and situate yourself next to Adam at the table, Jay makes no delay to turn his attention back onto the drinks and you laugh to yourself at how obvious you found it to be. “Just there is fine, thanks pretty boy” you wink at Jay who grins down at you “Pretty boy?” the tall man, you soon learn to be named Eric questions “You better watch out, he might have her off you” he raises his brows as he drinks “No chance mate, she ain’t going anywhere” Adam runs his hand up and down your leg, stopping at the  hem of your dress.

“Besides, she ain’t gonna go for him. Look at him, a server at a bar isn’t exactly who you want to be with is it?” Adam chuckles and you feel your stomach pull, even knowing Adam was only speaking in his character it still didn’t sit right with you that he was saying those things about Jay “I don’t know, he’s pretty cute” you hit back as Jay stands awkwardly, still pouring the liquid into cold glasses in front of you. Adam runs his hand along his jawline and huffs in a laugh before wrapping his arm round you and pulling you onto his lap and away from Jay “We can pour our own drinks, you can go now”” he adds and Jay nods “have a nice night”. 

His eyes linger on you for a split second before heading back down the stairs to the bar, you could tell he was pissed off just by the way his shoulders were tight and his back was straight as he returns to the bar. You turn your attention back to the group of men, one of which was staring at you far too hungrily which you tried to avoid but couldn’t for much longer as he placed himself next to you on the leather sofa “Mind if I have 5 minutes with your girl? I’ll get her out the way while you all settle up” The man asks and you grip onto Adam’s sholder, hoping he would get the hint of how you didn’t want him to agree “Think I’ll keep her with me if that’s alright, don’t want her causing trouble” Adam jokes but Eric clearly wasn’t taking no for an answer “Come on sweetie, just a bit of fresh air is all. Won’t be long”. You could tell he wasn’t going to let up so patted Adam on the chest and gave him a reassuring smile “I’m sure I’ll be fine”.

You yet again made your way down the stairs, followed closely by Eric who was quick to place his hand at the nape of your neck to guide you towards the exit. You walked past the bar and Jay looked concerned, followed by a scowl on Kim’s face as she watched you get rushed past “Sarge, Y/N is being led out by a white male. 6′4, black hair with a white shirt. She doesn’t exactly look happy about it”. Kim speaks into her microphone and not second goes by before Jay chimes in “Want me to follow?” he asks but Voight doesn’t respond.

“We haven’t got eyes, they came out but have gone round the back. It’d be too obvious for us to move but I can follow on foot?” Hailey speaks over the radio, Jay looks at Kim with a panic as silence is still coming from Voight “Sarge, we need answer” Kevin adds but still nothing “I’m going after them” Jay huffs and slams a glass onto the bar “No, leave her for a few minutes. She will be fine” Voight’s voice finally emerges but Jay isn’t happy “Are you serious? Some guy  has taken her out of sight are you’re happy to sit back and do nothing?” he spits back, standing with his back to the club to avoid raising suspicion “All change to channel 5, you’ll be able to listen into her microphone and then we can decide when to move in” Voight demands as Jay and Kim switch their devices as instructed “Is he fucking serious? If something happens to her I’ll-” Jay leans forward, onto the bar near Kim. “Can still hear you, Halstead” Voight interrupts over the radio and Jay scoffs “Good.”

***

[apocalypticgargoyle]

meet clay, he knows how you'll die.

intro filler chapter sorry

☾ pairing: dream x reader

☾ cw: interact at your own risk; contains graphic depictions of various character death and violence, suicide, blood, gore, and other triggering material. angst, language, guns, adult content, mentions of sex, slow burn friends to lovers

☾ wc: ~4100

Clay pulled the strap of his backpack further on his shoulder as he wove through the mindless sea of college students, eyes scanning the crowd for you, his best friend and the only person he could stand at the early hour. His knuckles flashed white as he sighed, taking the blunt impact of someone walking into him. He removed one of his headphones, mumbling a quick apology and swatting off the enthusiastically apologetic sophomore girl. All he could focus on was how much she bit her lip as she stammered on about not seeing him. It wasn’t alluring to him when most girls tried to sway his affections by looking at him with a puppy dog expression; all his mind drifted to was the dead skin across the body of her lower lip.

He finally nodded and reinstated his headphone, turning on his heel and heading for the front of the building. He received a few greetings from his peers as they crossed his path, people who shared past lectures with him and who had cheated off of him during exams. He wasn’t popular by any means, but he stayed out of people’s business and didn’t express his opinions loudly, so people tended to like him. The autumn breeze picked up as he stood in the dwellings of political science majors on the front lawn, acting as if they hadn’t seen one another in years when it had been only a few days. Clay absent-mindedly looked down at his cellphone, flipping through music as he leaned against the cool brick of the hall’s facade, waiting for you to find him.

Clay’s usual brooding manner was often off-putting to outsiders, with the careless-hollow look in his eyes giving bystanders the impression that he was nothing but a machiavellian. But you always saw the brightness in him; the side that you always experienced was specifically for you, and he made sure to keep it that way. You had wedged herself into his life and he was ever grateful for the love you had given him.

Despite the understood truth between the two of you that nothing was to be left unsaid, Clay still found himself keeping one of the most important aspects of his character unknown to you. His bloodcurdling secret was his own curse, something that would only be poison for another soul to know.

“What’s up, stud?” Somehow a flush of relief rippled through Clay’s body as his eyes locked to yours, pulling him from his isolated shell. Your hair looked brighter today against the dark hoodie peeking out from beneath an all too familiar bomber jacket. The wind fluffed your locks slightly as you continued towards him.

His eyebrows perked up as if to signal he was attempting to downplay his excited demeanor. “Stud, huh?” You smirked at his response, taking one of his headphones and putting it in your own ear, her face angled up to Clay as you waited to recognize the song, swaying slightly.

He chuckled as you shrunk away from him after muttering the song’s artist disappointedly and rolling your eyes, pulling on his hoodie pocket to follow you. As chaotic as his life often felt, he could always rely on the consistency of you. You usually attached yourself to one of his backpack straps, handles, his belt loop, or ended up under his arm, wedged against his side. It had gotten to the point that he felt naked if you weren’t within arm’s length of him, which was rare for the two of you. “So, I have something for you.” He smugly looked down at you, green eyes masking a hidden sparkle as you handed him a can of root beer, making him chuckle.

“Aren’t you sweet?” He popped the tab, taking a sip as you waved at a group of girls passing the two of you before slipping your hand against the crook of his elbow where his hoodie sleeves were pushed back.

“Actually, I was hoping it could be payment for later. I need to head over to the cemetery for some rubbings. History 270 has me getting into some weird shit, huh?” He laughed again at you, offering you the drink.

“And you need wheels?” You nodded and smiled politely at him, beaming at his words. “Yeah, alright. I have to sketch something for art anyway.” He thought about the week’s assignment and then about your little project he had dealt with the prior year. You had acted like the two of you hadn’t been to the cemetery on a regular basis, but he was grateful that you wanted him to come along with you.

You quietly jumped once. “You are my hero in faded denim, Clay. You know that, right?”

The two of you parted ways to your select destinations, one of Clay’s least favorite parts of the day, which was only solidified as he sunk into his seat and attempted to look equipped for the lecture. He spotted an unfamiliar kid shaking his knee in a distant section of the classroom. In any other circumstance, he wouldn’t have thought twice, but the sie of the class had given him the pleasantries of getting his own personal curse out of the way on the first day.

He carefully watched the boy speak smugly to a few of the more athletic kids in the room. One of the athletes pointed to the general direction Clay was sitting in and they all moved towards him. He, yet again, took out his headphones, knowing full well that they would be talking to him for the rest of the class.

“Oi, Shaman,” one of the main guys greeted Clay like they always did: a strange pattern of slapping and shaking his hand. He was thankful he had gotten all of their first impressions months prior and didn’t have to worry about getting their scenarios again, but he geared up to meet the new kid.

“How are you, Punz?” Clay took a deep breath as the new kid was gestured to and brought into the light.

“This is Mark. He’s a transfer from one of the commuter campuses. Mark, this is the mastermind you pay for notes.”

Clay sarcastically smiled at Punz. “My, you flatter me more than any girl. Nice to meet you, man.” As soon as he touched Mark’s hand, Clay’s mind flashed to a dingy-looking barn out in the middle of nowhere before an older man in his mid-thirties came into view with a lever-action rifle in his hand. In another flash, Clay was in front of the man, now kneeling with the gun in his mouth, red, blurry eyes looking straight through Clay. A pang of guilt broke open in Clay’s stomach as he pushed against the handguard lever and pulled it back into place, squeezing the trigger and sending Ckay back to the class. He let out a sigh and fought to plaster one of his less absent smiles.

“Speaking of our lovely girls, Mark here has a question about her.” Clay’s head tilted towards Mark, not exactly squaring up to him, but sending him an amused look as if to warn him not to cross a line, knowing full-well this conversation would somehow involve you. “We all know that no guy would ever intrude on her without your blessing, but Mark sat near her on the bus before his first class and was thinking about asking her out.”

Clay bit back a laugh, feeling like the Vito Corleone. “Well, you know her, Punz, and you know she would be mortified if I told some guy to fuck off, so I would just ask her yourself?” Oh, how desperately Clay wanted to bash Mark for not even telling Clay himself and the fact that the boy before him was nowhere near your type, but Clay knew better than to burn bridges and he felt bad for the way Mark would meet his end.

Nobody, not even you, knew about Clay’s gift. In the going-on-five years of knowing you, he came breaths away from letting his secret slip but has always kept it hidden, hoping to bury it with him after being married to you for forty happy years.

The visions started around his fifth-grade year, beginning with vivid dreams of dying in the midst of the Civil War, feeling the warm gushing of blood leaving his system, and the stabbing pain of being shot multiple times beside a woman who oddly looked enough like you that he almost called out your name. He had lived what he presumed to be his death in the life before this one several times, each vision taking him a few clicks further.

Soon, he found himself catching glimpses of others’ deaths before they happened as soon as they touched him, but thankfully it was usually over with no time passing and he only endured the visions once for each person, fate having already sealed itself. The only person who seemed to mix him up was you.

It was love at first sight for him, but as soon as you touched his arm, bleak snapshots of a boating accident raced into his mind, only to have to re-experience the scenario a few months later with you stepping in front of a train. Even as a measly high school freshman, he promised himself that there was no way he was letting you die in the gruesome manners being predicted to you. He didn’t think changing fate was possible until he witnessed you in action. He hated seeing you so young in each of the glimpses, tearing him to shreds as he knew time and time again that there was no way he could change what was meant to be.

There were even times when he quietly promised you that he’d die by your side if he couldn’t stop it.

As his lecture let out, Clay found you tucked into a corner of the library, smiling to yourself silently as knew you had finally found what you were looking for in one of the massive books before you. There were many moments like this that Clay wished he could pause and remember for the rest of his life. He was proud that you were there for him even though you could have left instead of playing your own little game of library scavenger hunts.

Since knowing you, he had taken note of how you treated other boys, usually as first dates and never true pick-ups. You didn’t care if they called you the next day or not and he was sure you had never even been kissed before. Something about your guys’ relationship gave others the nod to leave it the fuck alone, and that your heart truly belonged to Clay; a responsibility he wished didn’t plague you with. Despite this, he couldn’t bring himself to be with you, only worried that what you had would be destroyed because he knew that as soon as he told you about his gift, you might leave.

You always brought a bag of marbles and a bouquet of flowers to the cemetery. You loved to find the tombstones that looked neglected or ones with older dates, knowing that the possibility of having family members who remembered the person was lower. The trees in the graveyard were reds and yellows with the changing season, leaves scattered over the grass, naturally piling in large masses. This was your favorite for how neglected it seemed to always be. You had a knack for making inanimate objects and lost souls feel loved; Clay often feeling like he was one of these disembodied figures.

Clay leaned his back against one of the massive trees a few paces from the tombstone you had picked, smiling as he watched you carry out her routine. He flipped to a clean page in his sketchbook as you sat cross-legged in front of the great stone resting place, pulling the long-dead flowers from the concrete gauntlet and replenishing a few flowers in their place while setting an equal number of marbles along the grass line of the stone. A daisy was tucked behind your ear as you ran her fingers against the worn chiseling of the dates, smiling slightly. He began to sketch you out. Your eyes drifted to him before the corners of your mouth curled up into a smirk and you returned to her previous position, straightening your shoulders. “Who is it?” He asked, blending a rough edge with the pads of his finger as you tilted your head at the script carvings.

“George McAfee. Born 1926. Died 1963.” The wind picked up, blowing your hair away from your face as you pulled your jacket closer around you. “What was happening in 1963?” You turned your head to him momentarily before looking back at the lucky man. “I mean besides Beatlemania and JFK’s assassination?”

Clay outstretched one of his legs, swallowing as he thought, his eyes fluttering from the page in front of him to you. “Well, Alcatraz was shut down, Studebaker stopped production, the USSR sent the first woman into space…” he trailed off, watching you as the gears began to spin in your head.

“Do you think he died in the Coliseum explosion?” You wet your lips and he couldn’t help but smile at you.

“Maybe he died in the USS Thresher sinking?” He was thankful that he could capture your thoughtful gaze in this picture.

“You’re smart, Dream. Have I ever told you that?” He chuckled at the sigh in your voice. He detailed the bomber jacket you were wearing---which you’d stolen from his closet god knows when---a bit as you placed a piece of paper over the engraving and rubbed a crayon against the stone, his name coming to life on the paper as you came to life on Clay’s. It didn’t matter why you two would be in the cemetery, you always had a type of bond with the dead, surprising Clay due to how bright you were and your power of holding onto so much compassion. He threw his sketchbook into his backpack and slug in over his shoulder, moving to help you up. You decided to give the rest of the flowers to George as Clay stood next to you, gazing down at his grave.

A high-pitched moan startled the two of you, snapping your heads to look over the hedges separating your section of graves and the one beside it. Clay’s eyes widened as they fell to a girl in all black with porcelain skin propped on top of one of the tombstones. You clasped your hand over his mouth pulling him onto the ground next to you as you peered through a hole in the bushes. His mind noticed your arms first. One of them was secured over his chest and the other wrapped around his shoulder from beneath his arm, holding onto him as he steadied himself in the weird crouching position. “Are you enjoying this?” He jeered, looking over his shoulder slightly as he heard you snicker. The girl began to ride the stone harder.

“How many times in your life are you going to see a girl humping a gravestone? Honestly, Clay, how many?” He shook his head as you both looked at the girl, giggling to yourselves. You dug her face into his shoulder trying to stifle the next laugh trying to rip through your body as the gothic girl moaned, letting out more labored breaths. Clay’s face contorted into a twisted look of disgust as the girl tugged on her own hair. “Oh, do you think that hurts?” You took the words out of his mouth, tightening your arms around him as he shrugged.

“I doubt it’s any rockier than sex with a human.” He bit his lip, a hollow sound interrupting him quietly laughing at his own joke as you thumped him in the chest. The girl moaned louder. “Alright, she’s climaxing. I’m uncomfortable now.” Clay stood and Willow popped up next to him, lacing your fingers with his, bringing color back to his cheeks as you slipped the remaining marbles into his pocket.

“Oh, hi!” In the midst of holding hands with you again and trying to slink back to his car, he hadn’t even realized that the moaning had stopped. The girl now stood near the two of you in what seemed to be a black slip. Clay found it hard to make direct eye contact with her. “Are you guys looking for someone?”

“We were, but we couldn’t find him so-” you began, gesturing for Clay’s car and pulling him next to you.

“Well, I can help. Who are you looking for?” A thousand sarcastically vulgar comments ran through Clay’shead but his eyes flickered from her face to the tombstone she was on previously.

“Uh, my grandpa. His name was Rupert Daniels,” Clay managed to choke out. Your nails dug into his arm while your hand squeezed his. The girl looked around at the surrounding stones.

“I don’t see him right now, but I can look?” You both shook your heads quickly and muttered various responses before finally slipping away from her and getting into his car. Neither of you said anything as you pulled off the gravel driveway until crossing the railroad tracks when Clay burst out laughing.

“Do you think she even knew who it was she was gettin’ it on with or did she just pick somewhere random?” Clay laughed harder at your stunned response. “I’m serious. Clay, what the fuck. How can someone even get off in a cemetery?”

“I don’t know, man. Would you hook up with someone in a cemetery?” Clay quipped, wiggling his eyebrows at you, causing you to laugh. You dug into his console, pulling out a bag of M&Ms you had stashed in there last week, popping one in your mouth.

“Only if it was you.”

He giggled. “Excuse me, what?”

“There are just some things you do with certain people, Dream. You know what I mean.”

“I don’t know if I should be flattered I’m the only one you would have sex with in a cemetery, or like, disgusted?” You laughed at his reaction.

Within ten minutes the sun had begun to set and Clay sang loudly with you to the song playing over the radio as Clay sped along one of the county roads near your apartment complex, not wanting the night to end. He loved these moments with you. You turned down the radio and threw your hair back into a ponytail. “So, what do you think of that new kid, Mark?” Something in Clay shifted, taking away the free feeling he had recently possessed next to you. He thought carefully.

He chewed his bottom lip. “Depends on what you think?”

“Well, he seems like a wannabe Punz. And he asked me out. Naturally, I said ‘yes’ because maybe he’s different?” Clay chuckled at your sarcasm, putting his car in park on the side of the street your flat was on and getting out with you. The radio still hummed in the air lowly. “He insisted on Friday, though.” Clay dramatically acted like you had stabbed him in the heart, even though it did hurt. Friday night was their night. It had been a running tradition for movie night every Friday since your freshman year and you had never canceled on Clay for a date. “I know, I know. But I figured that I’d tell him I had diarrhea when it hit eight o’clock and be over at your place with an extra pizza? Your roommate’s working right?” He chuckled with a nod, walking you up the first three steps to your place as you made it to the concrete landing. You turned to him. “And he said he was taking me somewhere fancy, so I’ll snag you some breadsticks.” He tilted his head at you as you winked at him.

“Nah, don’t worry about it. Wanna be Punz might be fun. Maybe I’ll call up Minx and hang out with her?” He joked. Minx was a friend of yours that hung out with the two of you sometimes. He had never really liked her, but she was friends with you and thus he was always civil.

“You’re still my number one, babe.” You pushed him slightly as you climbed a few more steps, leaning on the railing as he waved to leave. “Hey, Dream?” He turned on his heel as you forced yourself to make eye contact. He stuffed his hands in his jeans pockets. “You could kiss me, you know? For science.” You smiled softly at him from where you were perched. He wet his lips as his heart hammered in his chest. He wanted to scale the steps and close the space between you, to knock you off your feet and show you just how much he was in love with you.

He hated himself. “A first kiss should have more magic in it than just for science. As a romantic, you should know first hand.” You smiled at the ground in front of you.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” The two of you seemed to shake off the serious moment as you stuck your tongue out at him and slipped inside your house as both giggled.

“I love you,” he murmured as you left, punching himself in the shoulder as he got back into his car.

Clay’s heartbeat pulsed in his ears, making him truly believe he was going to pass out. He had lost his gun at least a mile back. He was running mindlessly now, not knowing how long or where he was going. He trudged through the forest, hearing dogs barking and gunshots erupting around him, the ringing in his ears building with every step he forced himself to make. He wanted to rip open the front of his jacket to release the body heat drenching his collar, but he didn’t move other than propelling his body further and further away from the soldiers. You ran beside him, holding your skirt up while your hair danced around your shoulders like a great waterfall. As soon as his body felt like it might just give out, he would look at you and somehow find more of a drive to pull forward. His breaths were brittle and hoarse as he drew in borrowed oxygen. His lungs felt shallow like they were giving out on him.

You reached back, grasping his hand and pulling him into a sharp corner, hoping to lose the group. You both had managed to weave into the forest, but the dogs were somehow still picking up on your scent. The pair of you finally came upon a clearing and kneeled down out of sight, spotting a house in the middle of a glen. Bullets were streaming through the air. The forest was catching fire and cannons were echoing through the distant air. You squeezed his hand tightly, looking at him with terror in your eyes. He had gotten the two of you into this mess, but he was glad he was beside you.

He pulled you to your feet as the pair of you sprinted for a distant house. A sharp pain stabbed into Clay’s back, making him drop to the ground. How did he not hear the gun? You dropped to your feet, your eyes welling with tears, ripping at his jacket, but he pushed you off, telling you to leave quickly. He leaned forward, eyes locking on the soldiers in gray coming towards them, reloading their rifles. He groaned, pushing himself up, but only having the same stabbing sensation two more times in his chest. He heard you scream, but he couldn’t see you.

His hands were going numb as he touched where the bullets entered, feeling the warm and sticky crimson substance seep between his fingers. The soldiers reached you before you had made it to the house, pulling you to the ground next to him. You were crying heavily as you looked at him. Everything began to run quiet as you held onto him tightly. You were saying something to him, but he couldn’t hear you. He was only aware of his jacket soaking with blood. He coughed, wanting to tell you he loved you one last time, but you were tugged away from him, pressed to one of the men in gray. He raised a hand to you as you fought against the man. And then everything went dark.

Dream Tag List: (hopefully this works)

@karlkitten @pluto-dizzz @more-like-reyna @honk-izzie-was-taken @marrymetheonott @froggyy06 @ghoulandghost @savingpluto @marshmallow-babe @drunkpumpkincake @unstableye @tinyegg @behzzyboo @twist3dtinkerbell @sparkletash @shroomieissmall @clubfairy @camerondiaz48104 @victory-is-here @rat-poisin @alm334 @acidluvs @pachowpachowbucket @bbigbbrainn @cdizzlevalntyne @idiotinnit @generallysleepdeprived @sacvf @phsychopathetic @froggerrrr @robinslie @essencee @jemalovesmarvel @sbi-is-my-onlysanity @jenlouvre @victoria-a567 @miilliiie @bunnylotl @thegirlwhowritesawksh-t @carlyferrell @dumb-chaotic-bi-energy @nyxieahh @quivvyintheclouds @sarcasticmichelle @book-of-anarchy @millavalntyne @lightdreamy @baddiesforcorpse @sunnynapp @fantasy-innit @rat-poisin @wreny24 @deepestofwaters @exenestea @indecisivehusky @fallxnly @alm334 @skaratjung @punzcanrailme @sap-naps @denki-exe @angeltears18 @silvemistxe33 @andreamalik6 @kris-stuff @sun-fiower-seed @where-thesundoesntshine @dilfdream @esmegregory04 @itsparasocial @mlqcool @mcgoddess404 @rinatdawn @chaoscait @peppermintkisses @libbynotfound @speedrunningtherapy @lunxramour @aoonai @loraleiix @ghoulpixiie

[sleekervae]

The Neighbour [3.4]

A/N: oh my gosh look who it is! it's sleekervae popping in here like she hasn't been gone for three months holy shit! I'm so sorry to everybody. On that note, I'm super super SUPER grateful to everyone who continued to support me and read this series! Writing has been really hard for me lately so this chapter is going to be a little bit shorter. My plot is moving but my urge to write is halting. Anyway, here is part 34 of The Neighbour! And as always, comment is you'd like to be tagged!

Warnings: none, it's just kinda filler for now. a slight slight slight bit of angst...

Cold water dripped down Eva's wrists as she rubbed gently at the lotion on her cheeks. The air was warm, filled with the scent of shampoo and men's body lotion that wafted from the shower in the corner. Eva's bathroom was easily half the size of Remington's, and yet he felt cozy and at ease in her small shower. Like frost in the middle of winter, fog creeped down the glass walls and his silhouette was a hazy blur whilst he stood under the shower.

Eva finished washing her face, the water leaving a delightfully cold sensation over her cheeks. She leaned against the counter as she shamelessly watched her boyfriend; she was just able to piece together the tattoos slick with water and soap, slowly dripping down his slender physique.

Remington wasn't ignorant to Eva, he could make out her reflection in the tile wall. He smiled to himself with satisfaction whilst he continued to shampoo his hair.

"Take a picture," he teased, glancing at her over his shoulder.

Eva smirked coyly, "Maybe I will. Bet your fangirls would love seeing one of your nudes floating around the internet,"

"You wouldn't dare!" he gasped dramatically.

Eva picked up her phone from the pocket of her shorts, watching the blacked out screen with contemplation. She then bursted into giggles.

"You're right, I won't," and she slipped the phone back into her pocket.

He shook his head in mock disapproval, "Naughty girl. When I come out of this shower --"

"I'm already gonna' be on my first cup of tea," she grinned. They both had a full day ahead of them; the band had their first full tracking session in their make-shift home studio, while Eva had an abundance of deadlines to meet for her writing assignments. If she could get them all done by the end of the day than she could afford to have the weekend off. Caity was throwing another house party and she was adamant that Eva and Remington had to come by.

The pattering of the shower thinned to a halt and Remington hopped out, quick to grab a towel and quickly dried himself to ward off the morning chill. He wrapped and tied the towel around his hips, shivering as water continued to drip down his back from his hair.

"Babe, can you pass me a small towel?"

"I'll do you one better," from under the sink cabinet, Eva pulled out a towel wrap, "Give that a try,"

Remington amusedly held out the towel wrap, "I think my mom has one of these," he bent down and wrapped his damp hair into the blue towel, glancing back at his reflection with delight.

"Damn, not bad!" he grinned.

"What do you mean not bad? You look amazing in everything!" Eva replied.

"Well, you're not too bad, neither," he simpered.

She glanced at him peripherally as she smeared toothpaste on her toothbrush, "Nice to know you just settled, then" she joked.

"Yeah --" Remington scoffed, "I settled, alright" he pulled her in by the waist just as she tried to brush her teeth, her back knocking against his chest and her stunned giggles was one of his favourite sounds whilst he peppered kisses along her shoulder and neck. His lips stopped to leave a lingering kiss on her temple.

"I settled for a beautiful, talented, intelligent woman who has a never-ending barrel of patience for putting up with my shit," he grinned at their reflection.

Eva tilted her back to meet his gaze, pouting slightly, "You're too hard on yourself. You're only kind of irritating," she smirked before popping her toothbrush into her mouth.

"Oh yeah?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Uh-huh," she muffled back.

He shrugged, "I'll take it," he kissed her head again, keeping his arm looped around her waist as he grabbed his phone off of the counter. Eva watched curiously as he opened the camera app.

"Aem rushing my eef" she said, looking down at her t-shirt and cotton shorts, "An aem nah ressed,"

"And I'm wearing a hair wrap and a towel, what's your point?" he replied.

Eva decided to just go with it, grabbing his arm with her free hand and posing in tandem to Remington's silly face as he snapped a couple of pictures. These weren't pictures to be posted for clout, they were just silly, domestic moments for the two of them to share.

Remington couldn't help but smile, admiring her fresh-faced, natural beauty from the wispy hairs at the top of her hairline to the dab of foam at the corner of her lip.

"See? Even brushing your teeth, you're cute," he gushed, showing her the photo.

Eva turned to glance at the photo, take out her toothbrush before turning in her spot so she could face him, properly beaming, "We're cute,"

`

One wouldn't see if from looking on the outside-in, however the main living room of Remington and Emerson's house had been completely transformed into a DIY sound booth and studio. Extra tables and dresser drawers had been pushed against the wall, giving Chris plenty of room to set up his computer equipment. Behind him sat a studio mic, standing well above six feet for any of the guys to reach with ease. Not to mention it wore a draping cape of a spare linen blanket to block out sound. It was a messy set up, though nonetheless it worked for the band.

Emerson was sprawled across the couch, drumsticks clutched in one hand while his hat was pulled down over his eyes. The boys swore he had fallen asleep again until they heard a rumbling, "What're we naming it?"

Chris spun back in his chair, Sebastian stopped tuning his guitar, and Remington glanced warily at the youngest brother, "Ya' think we should maybe... I don't know... finish writing the album before we name it?"

"Unless you got some ideas," Sebastian said.

Emerson nodded, pushing up the brim of his hat with his drumsticks to finally reveal his eyes. They batted and squinted at the intake of natural light, "Fever Dream,"

Chris cocked his head, "We haven't even started recording that track. You sure that's what you want to name it?" he asked.

"Why not?" Emerson replied, "The entirety of this year has been like a bad shared delusion. We could call it 'Bad Trip' instead, but 'Fever Dream' is more appropriate. Has some finesse to it, ya know?"

"I'm down," Remington shrugged.

Sebastian nodded slowly, picking mindlessly at the keys to his fender, "Alright. 'Fever Dream' -- first in the running,"

Chris was ready to turn back to his computer and sync the next track, though he was suddenly interrupted by Pepper's sudden and incessant barking -- followed by the doorbell ringing.

"What is that now?" he asked.

"Postmates?" Remington asked, a glimmer of excitement in his eye.

Sebastian shook his head, "Postma -- we just had breakfast!" he said.

"What's your point?"

Emerson then began to stand up, "Nope, that's mine," he said, making his way to the door, "I'm gonna' need some help,"

"What did you order, now?" Sebastian asked, his patience wearing thin as he followed his little brother. Remington and Chris trailed behind.

Emerson flung the front door open just as a large white van began to peel out into the street. It was a delivery van, and at his feet sat a large cardboard box. Emerson's face lit up immediately.

"Oh finally! Thought it would never get here!" he exclaimed as he lifted it up, stumbling from side to side to gain his balance.

"What is that?" Remington asked.

"My calendars," the boys made way as Emerson shuffled back into the studio with his box, "Where's the box cutter?"

The box cutter was retrieved and the packing tape sliced open. Emerson ripped out the cardboard and paper packaging like a child on his birthday, eager for his presents. Only, instead of a Hot Wheels set or a nerf gun, the box was stacked and packed tightly with Emerson's custom calendars.

"Hello my beauties," Emerson simpered in awe, taking one out and admiring it in the light.

Remington pulled out another copy and flipped through, the pages and crisp and making the most satisfying cracking noise as they fell against one another. The months were tea-stained, graphed in beautiful fonts while the top pages were prints of Emerson's paintings, eerily immersive and seductively haunting. At the bottom of many pages were small passages with content rambling on and on about the beauty and escapism of art and expression. It didn't take much for Remington to recognize Eva's writing style, it brought a little smile to his face.

"These are amazing!" Chris gaped, "And you made all of these prints?"

"Yes I did," Emerson nodded, "Available for individual purchase on EmersonBarret.com. Hey, where's Eva?" he tapped Remington, "I want to show her!"

"The girls went out for brunch," Sebastian replied, "They'll probably be back in a couple hours,"

`

In a small nook between Little Tokyo and the Toy District sat a cozy, ornate, minimalist restaurant. Despite the pandemic's continuing strikes against the hospitality industry, this restaurant was thriving by the looks of their bustling outdoor patio. The soft pan-flute covers of Billboard's hits was barely audible between the atmosphere and the roaring city life of downtown LA.

Eva's eyes scanned the menu word-for-word, her stomach rumbling to a degree that her cup of coffee just couldn't settle. Despite her hunger, she had to admit she was a bit overwhelmed by the vast and fanciful options listed on this brunch menu. When Katie suggested the girls go for brunch, Eva was expecting the classic eggs benedict with a mimosa or two to follow; instead she was bewildered and intrigued at the prospects of ordering a seafood rice porridge or smoked salmon on toast with chicories.

"Alright, cheers ladies," Larissa held up her rosé glass, clinking with Shy's iced tea and Eva's coffee, "To a gorgeous Sunday brunch and not contracting any viruses thus far,"

"Don't speak too soon," Eva nodded, "It's only October,"

"Are you guys gonna' get your flu shots?" Shy asked, "My mom's been nagging me about it. Apparently they're running out in the mid-west,"

"Yeah, I think so," Larissa replied nonchalantly. Eva took a brief look around at their surroundings. Sure the weather wasn't as sweltering as it had been during the summer, though the sun was still blazing proudly and people were jogging up and down the streets in their shorts and crop tops like July was a never-ending prospect.

"I still can't believe this is October for you guys," she gaped, "It's pouring fucking buckets in Seattle right now,"

"You think this is bad, just wait til' Christmas," Shy teased.

Larissa swished her rosé in its stem glass, "Do you miss Seattle, Eva?"

"Some parts of it," the young writer shrugged, "Rizal Park, Melrose Market, my car..."

"You have a car?" Shy asked.

"Yeah. Well, it was originally my sister's, but after she got her license revoked my dad put the insurance in my name," Eva said, "Kind of taught her a lesson,"

"I didn't know you had a sister," Larissa said.

"And a brother. I'm the baby in the family," Eva sighed.

"You never talk about them," Shy pointed out.

"That's because I haven't talked to them in over a year," she replied.

Larissa nodded, "Family drama? Everybody has it,"

"Let's put it this way: probably for the best that I'm on the other side of the West coast," Eva replied.

A server came by and took their order promptly, though Larissa was still intrigued to learn more about Eva's elusive family.

"How'd your dad take it when you wanted to move?" she asked.

"About as well as any father would take it," Eva replied, "I got all the lectures: you don't know anybody down there! there's criminals all around the streets! what about the heroin and the weed?"

"Your dad knows that weed's legal now, right?" Shy simpered.

"Yeah, but he doesn't like the thought of his kids doing any type of recreational drugs," she replied.

"But you still get on with your dad, right?" Shy asked.

Eva nodded, "I talk to him almost every week, tell him everything except for the deliberately omitted,"

"Better not tell him about Caity's parties, then," Larissa said.

"Speaking of party... Halloween's coming up in a couple of weeks," Shy said, "What're we wearing?" she folded her fingers to cup her chin.

Larissa smirked smugly, "I got an idea up my sleeve,"

"I don't like the way you're looking at me," Eva chuckled.

"It's nothing bad, don't worry," Larissa grinned, "You and Rem talk about costumes?"

"Not yet I'm afraid," she replied, "What're we gonna --" the sentence wasn't half out of her mouth before Eva's phone began to ring. The screen flashed a picture of her dad -- speak of the devil. Though she knew she could always call him back later.

"Sorry," and Eva quickly denied the call.

"Oh my gosh!" Shy gaped teasingly, "How dare your phone go off mid-day!"

Eva rolled her eyes, "I know, call the Daily Bugle," she said, "What're we talking about?"

"Halloween costumes," Larissa then turned to Shy, "What're you and Emerson gonna' do?"

"Well --" but yet again, Eva's phone blasted at full octave. Eva grimaced when she saw her father's picture come up again.

"I think you'd better get that, Eva," Shy said.

Eva shook her head, quickly standing as she clutched her phone, "Guess so, I'll be right back,"

The girls watched Eva slip out of the patio and stand on the curb, rocking back and forth on her heels as she spoke to her dad. Shy sighed quietly, tapping her long nails slowly against the hardtop table.

"I wonder what happened between them," she asked Larissa, "I mean -- so much shit has to go down for you to completely cut off your mom and your siblings. I couldn't imagine doing it,"

"It's not our place to ask or judge," Larissa huffed, "It's not the first time it's happened, though. One of my clients has a wife who hasn't talked to her parents in nearly a decade,"

"Bad marriage?" Shy asked.

"Bad coming out," Larissa said, "You think Eva told her dad about us and Remington?"

"She said she tells him everything," Shy said, " -- except for what she 'deliberately omits', whatever that means,"

Larissa watched as Eva's body language began to shift from typically optimistic to a slow slump, she came to appear to be a static picture in an ever hustling crowd of passers by.

"I think it means that her dad has an image of what he wants Eva to be, and she has a different idea to what she wants out of her life. And with all the familial bullshit, California seems like a kosher place to start over,"

"Like everybody else in this city," Shy scoffed.

The server suddenly came along with another bus boy and set down the girls' brunch. The girls thanked him briefly, though their minds were put off of food as they watched Eva's body language sink lower and lower. Her knees were buckled at the joint, her hand rubbing anxiously at her neck, and she had turned now so she wouldn't have to look at either Larissa nor Shy. The girls glanced at each other fretfully.

"That doesn't look good," Larissa muttered.

"I wonder what they're talking about," Shy said.

Eva was abrupt as she hung up the call and dashed back to the table, her scowl as clear as the fresh glassware. She sat down without a word, staring at her salmon on toast without much enthusiasm for a bite. The girls glanced at each other again.

"So... w-what happened?" Larissa asked.

Shy's nails continued to tap on the table, only in quicker succession in attempt to mask her own anxiety as Eva remained quiet. She needed a minute to process the conversation she'd just had with her dad, afraid to repeat his words should her coffee come back up on her.

Nevertheless, Eva took a deep breath, shaking her head at her breakfast, "... I think I have to go back to Seattle,"

@boxofsparklingmuses @sinmatic @mndsxarts @rottingerotic @liilliiana

[troubatrain]

good for you - t. jost (part two)

a/n: apparently the only things i can finish are smut which is honestly on brand for me. this part is a bit of filler but to be fair this entire fic is smut with barely a plot so i meannnn but anyways, let me know how you guys like it :)

big shoutout to @hookingminor because nothing gets posted around here without ilyana fr fr

part one

warnings: it's smush time (smut)

So you fucked?

Mat was confused, posted up in his hotel room in Philly trying to navigate the bits of information he’d been getting out of you. You’d barely spoken to him all week, your classes were already killing you and you’d been missing the nightly Facetimes you promised when you moved. Mat thought there was another reason you were ignoring him, the evidence that you did the diry with Tyson was obvious. He was pretty sure you did, the mark on your neck wasn’t as hidden as you seemed to think it was, and you had a pep in your step that you only got after a good hook up.

“Yes Mat, we fucked,” You sigh, pressing your hands against the cool countertop and staring at Mat through your laptop screen, “This is your fault.”

“Oh it’s my fault two consenting adults had sex? Did he stay over?” Mat asks, trying to grab onto as many details as he could.

“No I kicked him out after a second round in the shower,” You admit, covering your eyes so you wouldn’t see the shit eating grin on your best friend’s face, “I kind of want to do it again.”

“Three’s the limit,” Mat reminds you of the golden rule of hook ups. You both came to the conclusion one day, if you fucked someone more than three times, you had more feelings than you realized and it was time to run or let yourself get hurt. Mat seemed to do just fine with it, and most of the time so did you, but Tyson was tempting you.

“Oh my god, he’s calling me,” You panic, Tyson’s contact flashing across your screen. Mat went to open his mouth, some sort of roast about how nervous you were would probably have followed if you hadn’t hung up on him. You waited for one more ring, not wanting to seem too eager to answer his calls, “Hi?”

“Hey,” Tyson drags out his greeting, pacing around his own apartment trying to figure out what the hell he thought he was doing. He wanted to see you again, clothing optional if he was being honest with himself, he just needed you to know somehow that you weren’t just a booty call, “What are you doing?”

“Drowning in homework already,” You whine, rolling your eyes at the chaos around you. The city has been jackhammering outside your place since the day you moved in, stalling you every time you tried to do anything.

“Everything alright?” Tyson asks, his voice was laced with concern by the crashes coming from your end of the phone.

“Yeah, sorry they’ve been doing construction outside since I moved in,” You sigh, rubbing a hand over your forehead, “I really need to get these done-”

“Bring your stuff over here,” Tyson blurts out, grabbing onto the opportunity to see you. He could handle hanging out while you studied, you were sort of friends before, how hard could it be?

“You want to spend time with me while I study?” You question, genuinely curious about what kind of dude you’re fucking wants to do nothing while you actually get some studying done.

“Yes Y/N, I want to spend time with you,” Tyson chuckles, shaking his head at your shock. Of course you didn’t do that with anyone hooked up with, but you’d never hooked up with anyone you knew outside of the bedroom either. Keeping both of those worlds separate kept your heart safe, “C’mon, I’ll even buy you dinner.”

Okay fine, I’m on my way.

***

This was much harder than Tyson thought.

It was easy at first, you came over a little while later and Tyson thought he could control himself. You settled on dinner a few minutes ago, and that’s when things went south. It was the pout, the way you looked at when Tyson said he wasn’t in the mood for sushi. You batted your eyes at him, a small pout on your face and the words Tys please following. Tyson was a goner, calling up for sushi almost immediately while you smirked at him for giving in so easily.

Now, Tyson was just watching you, and not even in a way you wouldn’t notice. Your nose was tucked into your notes, it’d scrunch up every once in a while and Tyson assumed that meant you got to something you didn’t want to deal with. Your cardigan had fallen down your shoulder, leaving a spot where Tyson’s lips could have just landed easily. Your feet were across his lap, Tyson’s large hands on your legs while his thumb rubbed along the fabric of your leggings. His hand was creeping up slowly, your lip between your teeth while you watched him, “Don’t get distracted princess.”

“You’re making that a little hard,” You whine, just as Tyson’s finger slid under the waistband on your pants, “Tys-”

“No keep reading,” Tyson reminds you, humming when you let his hands slide your leggings off. His lips pressed softly against your hips, your eyes far more focused on Tyson’s head between your thighs, “I’ll stop if you can’t focus.”

“Don’t do that,” You sigh, feeling Tyson’s smirk against your skin. Tyson chuckled, a finger sliding your panties to the side.

“This wet already huh? Physics must really get you going,” Tyson teases, glancing up at the book in your hands. His breath was hot against your core, “Smart and pretty is a dangerous combination princess.”

“So I’ve been told,” You let out a gasp, Tyson’s tongue lapping at your pussy slowly. Your hand fell from your book, pulling at Tyson’s curls. His mouth unlatched from your core, forcing you to let out a whine, “Tys that’s not fair.”

“I told you keep reading, can’t have you failing on my watch,” Tyson laughs, laying his head on your hips. He had you in the palm of his fucking hand, every bone in your body was on fire and you hated every second of it. The way you were whining for Tyson to touch you was uncharted terrority, a craving you couldn’t satisfy and it was going to get you into trouble. You focused on your work, a small hum came from Tyson before his finger slid up your folds, “Good girl.”

Your eyes were fixated on the words in front of you, retaining as much as you could while Tyson’s fingers were teasing your entrance. He was moving slowly, loving the way your body reacted to his touch in a way he could have only dreamed. One finger slid in, curling against your g-spot and pulling a moan out of you, “Fuck, I’m almost done-”

“Finish pretty girl, go ahead,” Tyson pushes, smirking to himself at your reaction. His mouth moved to your core, swirling his tongue around your clit and sucking on it. Your breathing was heavy, chest rising and falling while you finished the last paragraph before you were seeing stars. You tossed your book on Tyson’s coffee table, throwing your head back and grabbing his hair.

“Faster, Tys, please,” You beg, your hips lifting off the couch. Tyson slipped in another finger, tongue working against your core. He fingered you through your orgasm, fingers moving lazily in and out of

you when you finally came down, “Tyson, holy shit.”

Since when was Tyson this cocky? His smile was smug when you finally met his eyes, the same sparkle in his eye from the first time

you fucked. You pressed your lips to his, grinding your hips against him, “Your turn.”

Tyson’s eyebrows raised, a wave of shock over his face while you lowered yourself off the couch. You weren’t going to let Tyson just get off with a smile that smug. If Tyson wanted to play that game, you

needed to remind who he was playing it with. Your fingers slipped under his sweats, pulling down his boxers and letting his cock spring free. Tyson’s hand ran through your hair, a finger tracing your jawline while his thumb ran across your bottom lip, “You’re so fucking hot.”

“I’m aware,” You tease, licking the underside of his cock. You moved slowly, teasing him just as much he did to you. Tyson’s hands went to push your head down faster, so you pulled back with a smug smile that matched his, “No touching Tys.”

“C’mon, princess, that’s not fair,” Tyson’s hands flew back, a giggle falling through your lips at his whine. You swirl your tongue around the head of his cock, taking his length into your mouth until you couldn’t anymore. Tyson groans, his hands balling up into fists to keep himself from touching you, “Fuck, your mouth babe-”

The echo from Tyson’s doorbell bounced through his apartment, reminding you both of the food you were supposed to be waiting for. You pulled away, a smirk on your face, “I think you need to get that.”

“You did that on purpose,” Tyson groans, collecting himself enough to open the door for your food. You waited patiently, watching the way Tyson snapped back into the incredibly kind man you’d always known. If he thought you were dangerous, then he was absolutely lethal with the way he could speak to you as filthy as he did and smile as kindly as he does to others. He closed the door, watching back over to the couch where you were still sitting in just your panties and a tank top, pressing a quick kiss to your lips, “Let’s get you fed babe, I’ve got plans for us.”

“Hm, how about you eat it off of me?”

“I swear Y/N, you’re never leaving this apartment.”

[light-yaers]

Sweet Escape: Chapter Seven

Poe Dameron x Reader

Warnings: banterous flirting that may or may not crack your teeth, slight injury, alcohol, and OSCAR FUCKIN ISAAC

A/N: Honestly this is a bit of a filler, but I was having too much fun writing Poe and her's interactions that I simply couldn't stop. I didn't want to have such a large chapter, so I stuck with this little filler just for funzies. They do be getting closer doe....

Find the Masterpost here

Word Count - 2.5k

Chapter Seven: Blush

The first feeling upon gaining consciousness was ouch. Even opening your eyes made your muscles throb. The slow realisation that you were in the base’s med-bay, lying in a bed, came to you in waves. First, you let out an internal groan. Then, you let out an actual groan, as you tried to hoist yourself up to a sitting position.

Your body objected, rushing your limbs with an aching sort of pain that felt like you’d been training for 48 straight hours, but nevertheless you managed to sit up. The bay was quiet and collected, like a library, and only a few beds were actually occupied.

You felt her before you even saw her—Leia strolled round the corner then, eyes fixing upon you instantly. She gave you immediate comfort, despite your internal bruising and the anxiety that had started to bubble within your gut when you thought about what you’d just done.

The cat was out of the hypothetical bag. Your Force abilities weren’t just known now; you’d given the base an entire fucking demonstration. Brilliant.

“That was quite a show,” Leia said as she approached your bedside. You gave her a tired and half-hearted smile. “Thank you,” she added, and the seriousness in her voice was apparent. You nodded at her in response, not yet knowing what you could even say.

There was a silence that radiated from her—an intelligent and knowing quiet that told you all you needed to know; if you hadn’t of done what you did, many would have died. The base would have been all but destroyed.

“Are you okay?” she asked then, trickling her kind words over you softly.

“I feel like I’ve been punched all over my body, repeatedly,” you let out. A small scoff burst from her lips.

“I understand. The Force takes a lot out of you,”

“You could say that again,” you replied, testing out the movement of your arms. You stretched them out slowly, and your elbows clicked noisily. “Is everyone okay?”

“Some are more shaken up than others, but everyone’s just fine. Thanks to you,” Leia said, raising her brows at you in understanding. “Dameron’s waiting outside,” she added, causing you to whip your gaze to her suddenly. You let out a groan in pain as you brought a hand to rest on your stiff neck.

“Dameron?” you winced. Leia only nodded.

“I’ve never seen him be so proactive. He carried you here after you collapsed,”

You looked to your lap, overcome by a feeling half-way between wanting to vomit, and wanting to smile. Sure, you’d just revealed your gift and saved the damn Resistance, but you’d fainted afterwards—embarrassment wasn’t something that you dealt with well, as much as you shouldn’t have cared.

“Great,” you whispered to yourself. Leia let out another comforting chuckle, before placing a reassuring and gentle hand on your shoulder. You looked at her then, not even trying to cover up the absolute fear and anxiety on your face. Leia could feel your Force; she would have known your true feelings even if you had the strength to try and hide it from your expression.

“Shall I tell him to come back later?” she asked, but you were already shaking your head.

“No, no. He can see me,” the confidence in your tone was more prominent than you’d expected it to be, but maybe it was because it was him. It wasn’t Heidi or Lynx, who, as much as you liked them, were still closed books. Poe, though—

You already shared a room. What was one more?

Leia left after giving you a small nod. You took the few seconds it took her to leave the med-bay to mentally prepare yourself. You needed a nap, or ten naps, and you needed to keep it together. You’d never used your Force this way, nor had you been expecting to. The entire situation was a lot to take in.

But everyone was fine. You were fine. And that’s all that mattered.

Poe bound in before you could even slide yourself up the bed to lean against the wall. The first thing you noted about him was his expression; it wasn’t what you’d been expecting. His eyes were wide, his brow dotted with sweat, his shoulders hunched and tense and rigid. Maker forbid, the pilot was scared.

He grabbed a chair on his way over and sat down on it immediately, tucking himself in next to your bed as you fumbled with sitting.

“I’m fine, Dameron,” you said, as an involuntary chuckle escaped your lips.

“You sure?” he questioned, just double-checking. You nodded at him firmly, and then he visibly relaxed. He let out a large sigh of relief, leaning back in his chair and wiping his forehead with the sleeve of his jacket. “Had us worried there,”

“Had you worried,” you replied, shooting him a smile. It felt good.

“Hey, you’re the one that blacked the fuck out,” he let out, and you bit on your tongue as a wave of anxiety rushed through your gut. Dameron’s demeanour changed then, as an understanding settled onto his face. “Why didn’t you tell me you could use the Force?”

You swallowed uncomfortably, knowing that he’d obviously have questions. “Don’t take it personally. I haven’t told anyone before,”

“Why?” he repeated, looking at you with those big pretty boy eyes and delving deep into your damn soul. You didn’t realise just how hard it would be, being put in this position, but it was your own doing. You’d chosen to act.

“It was always easier to keep it a secret, okay? I wasn’t planning to ever use it in front of any of you, but—,” the breath hitched in the back of your throat as the image of the hurtling TIE hit your mind.

“The TIE followed Green-Two through hyperspace. It got hit and entered the atmosphere,” Poe explained. “They didn’t have time to realise what was happening and destroy it from the sky,”

“Yeah,” you replied, feeling overexposed and vulnerable and all of the feelings that you hated.

Your brain pelted thoughts at you then, as you tried to keep it together. It told you that everyone would look at you differently, even though you were all fighting for the same thing. It told you that you’d only become the brunt of another joke, that everything you despised about cadet life like this would be all-encompassing.

It told you that pilots would look at you like you had an unfair advantage; like you didn’t work to become as skilled as you were. It told you that Poe would think the same.

You fiddled with your fingers as Poe’s stare stayed glue to the side of your face. You didn’t want him to see that you were almost trembling, so you sucked it up. You forced yourself to perk up, to put on a blunt face, to ignore how close to screaming you were.

“I understand if you choose to take me off Black squadron,” you said plainly. Poe’s expression changed quicker than you could blink.

“Why the hell would I take you off my squad?” he replied. His squad.

“Unfair advantage and all that shit. Like I cheated or something,” you replied. Poe shifted in his chair and clenched his jaw.

“Did you use the Force on rank day?” he asked plainly. You immediately furrowed your brows at him, slightly angry.

“Fuck no. I don’t use it when piloting. I never usually use it—,”

“Then why the fuck would you take you off my squad, Ten?” he repeated, sterner this time. You let his words sink through your skin as you focused on calming your raging emotions. You were torn between kicking a wall, throwing a chair or crying on the floor like a baby. All three options sounded appealing to you.

“Even if you did use the Force to fly, I wouldn’t change your rank,” he added. “You’re a fucking good pilot. That shit can’t be learned just because you possess the Force. Unfair advantage my ass, Ten,”

The blush crept into your cheeks before you had the chance to look away. Poe’s lips curled into a small smirk—his most punchable expression. You had to speak away the tension before it consumed you.

“Can you go back to teasing me or horrendously hitting on me, now? All this mushy stuff is insufferable. It’s not like I fucking died,” you let out, trying to subvert his gaze away from your blotched cheeks. This was the second time the pilot had made you blush today—you didn’t want it to become a fucking daily occurrence.

You froze when Poe’s fingers reached out and touched your face. Your stare was upon him in an instant, watching the gentle way his eyes looked from cheek to cheek.

“I call you a good pilot once and you start blushing, huh?” he said lowly, sensually.

He was doing it on fucking purpose.

The redness of your face immediately elevated, but you’d grabbed his wrist and twisted his arm within seconds of taking in his words. He yelped in pain as you twisted his arm over the bed, causing him to stand from the chair and lean forward as you jerked him painfully.

That’s when you grabbed him by the collar, pulling his face close to your own and shooting him with a stare that only communicated one thing—death.

“If you want to keep this pretty boy face then I suggest you tread carefully, Dameron,” you said unapologetically, ignoring the pain in your limbs. Poe started to relax more now that your grip wasn’t on his arm. Hell, maybe he fucking enjoyed being threatened this way, because the smirk didn’t wipe off of his face at all.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re hot when you’re angry?” he said it as clear as day with no hesitation.

You dropped him immediately, causing his upper body to whack onto the mattress and spring back into his chair. He fell back into the chair and almost twisted onto the floor, but he regained his balance as chuckles fell from his lips boyishly. “Hey, you asked for this,” he said, raising his arms defensively at the unamused look on your face.

You pinched the bridge of your nose quickly, clamping your eyes shut as the hammering heartbeat beneath your ribs all but consumed you. “You—you—,”

“I really rile you up, don’t I?” Poe cut you off, crossing his arms smugly as you started to calm down slightly. You composed yourself as best as you could, not removing your angry stare from his pretty boy face. He thrived off of this, that much was certain. But it was true—you had just asked for it.

You just hadn’t expected reacting this way when your guards weren’t all the way up. There was something about being here with Poe, alone, after knowing that he’d been the one to place you on this bed himself, that hit you harder than you’d ever fucking admit.

These weeks hadn’t exactly been easy; being in the Resistance was literally the hardest job in the galaxy; but Poe had been a constant that you were only now realising. He was there when you went to bed, he was there when you woke up. His smug face was there whenever the subject of sex arose, or whenever he was ready to push your buttons, but his anger and rage was there whenever someone crossed you, as well.

Maker, it was almost like he cared.

And you weren’t used to that. You weren’t used to that at all.

Apparently, all of your thoughts had just made themselves known through your face, as Poe let out a soft scoff, eating up your expression.

“I’ll take that as a yes. What can I say? There’s no one like me,” he spoke so easily, so happily and upbeat. You could tell he was just trying to tease you more, but he was right.

“There is no one like you,” you repeated his words, jaw clenched. It wasn’t a compliment, and he knew that.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Poe said, waving his hand in the air. He leaned forward then, perking a brow at you questioningly, overly confident to the point that you were almost jealous of how open he was. “Does this mean there’s a tiny, minuscule, microscopic part of you that actually likes me?”

You rolled your eyes immediately, as you began to twist your legs to dangle over the side of the mattress. You placed your feet on the floor gently, applying pressure to them to see if you could stand.

Poe stood quickly, pushing back the chair as he got out of your way. You stood, leaning against the bed for subtle support, but other than the aches and internal bruises in your muscles, you were just fine.

“Don’t hold your breath, Dameron,” you said, as you started to stroll towards the med-bay exit. Dameron was at your side, cautiously staying close while also somehow keeping his distance. He was hyper-vigilant to make sure you weren’t about to fall.

When you both reached the door, Poe gently took hold of your forearm. All prior playfulness was gone from his face. “Thank you, for stopping the TIE. A crash like that... it would have ruined us,” he said sincerely.

“We’re all fighting for the same thing,” you replied. “I’m glad I could be of service,”

He smiled at you genuinely, and you couldn’t stop the warm feeling in your gut from spreading all over your body. As much as he teased and toyed and you had this back and forth; somewhere between hatred and likeness and flirting and fighting; you were both fighting the same war, performing the same jobs, living the same life.

He nodded once, before the two of you made your way down the corridor slowly. He stayed at your pace, not complaining as you got used to your creaky and stiff limbs or winced at the way your body pulsed with every step.

“So, no chance of a beer tonight, then?” he spoke up, perking a brow at you. You perked one back at him as an unexpected smirk curled onto your lips.

“I exposed my Force abilities, moved a crashing TIE with my mind and blacked the fuck out today. I think I’ll take a fucking beer,” you said. Poe chuckled to himself and you couldn’t help it when you joined him.

Slowly, he brought his arm to wrap around your shoulders. He shoved you into his chest playfully, just once, before gently pushing you back and removing his grip from you. “That’s what I wanted to hear,”

You and Dameron headed for the dorm together, shoulders often swiping against each other. Tension still hovered in the air, but it was as if both of you were slowly getting used to it. Maybe that was something that should have been scary to you, but when your Force wrapped itself around Poe when you both entered your dorm, exposing the gentle and fond way he was thinking of you—

All you felt was peace.

@foxilayde @onceuponathreetwoone @ecuadorlady @voidmalfoy @20th-centu-fairy-girl @frickfrackpattywhacktictac @baueoud @300nightmare003 @lilitrth @salome-c @youre-a-wallflower-charlie

I know this chapter is a bit short, but when I tell you big these are coming then please believe me.... get ready. <3

[realcube]

haikyuu!! boys when you come out to them as bisexual  🏳️‍🌈

characters: yamaguchi, tsukishima & kenma

part two!!

tw// fem!reader, fluff, coming out, 

Tadashi Yamaguchi

ok so hot-take but i think yamaguchi is straight

(or maybe bi but with a heavy preference for females)

but rn he identifies as straight 

but like..he’s so supportive of the lgbtq+ community

like tsukishima gives off ‘gay but homophobic’ energy

but yamaguchi has ‘straight but a strong ally’ energy

and this is hugely bc while tsukishima fell down the alt-right pipeline, yamaguchi was going through that ‘women 😍🤩💕’  phase which i think every WLW has went through at one point

like while tsukishima was watching ‘sjw get rekt compliation #125′ , yamaguchi was watching those heart-wrenching lgbtq+ short films on youtube 

and on tiktok his fyp was probably originally cottagecore (bc it’s his ideal lifestyle ofc) and somehow he is now kinda on sapphic cottagecore tiktok 

like not to fetishize them or anything, just bc he’s awed by how in love they are and that’s kinda what he wants for himself

(also he uses them as date inspo for you and him DFBZVAYUL)

anyway this was just my lengthened explanation as to why - unbeknownst to you or anyone - he was an ally to the lgbtq+ community (if not apart of it)

you didn’t really expect him to be disgusted or unsupportive of it tbh - i mean, it’s tadashi ffs! 💞 you know he’d never break up with you or judge you for something like that, but that didn’t stop you from being slightly nervous

but he was ten times more nervous when you texted him, asking for him to meet you by the local park’s fountain bc you had something important to tell him

mans thought you were dying ngl

he almost burst out crying on the walk to the park bc he imagined a whole scenario where he was sitting next to your fkn death-bed 

but you seemed healthy enough so his next assumption was that you were going to break-up with him

so when he approached you by the water fountain and you noticed that his eyes were glossy and his hair was damp with sweat, you were quite worried for him now

‘tadashi! are you okay?! your eyes are all puffy and red! do you have hay fever?’

yamaguchi rapidly shook his head, hastily escorting you to a nearby park bench so you could sit down beside him, ‘it’s nothing; what is it that you want to tell me?’

‘oh’ you choked, quickly averting your gaze from his kind, damp eyes. ‘it’s- um, i don’t-’ you cut yourself off, mentally cursing at yourself as you had practised what you were going to say to him hundreds of times before he arrived yet you still couldn’t stammer it out

yamaguchi was hanging on each word you uttered, but once he noticed that you were struggling, he placed his hands upon yours and shot you a reassuring smile

you let out a sigh in hopes to relieve your nerves while rehearsing what you were gonna say one more time in your head before blurting it out,

‘babe, erm, i’ve been questioning for a while and i’ve concluded that i’m bi - as in bisexual; and i just thought i’d tell you bec--’

you genuinely thought that you might have to explain to yamaguchi what bisexual means so IMAGINE your surprise when he simply replies, ‘you’re bisexual? is that all you wanted to tell me?’ and once you hum in agreement, he lets out a heave of euphoric relief

‘(y/n), please don’t make fun of me but on the way here, i was almost gonna cry because i thought you were going to tell me something horrible.’ he clutched his chest, breathing heavily - usually he’d never admit to something like that but right now, he felt that it was appropriate

you snickered at his rather exaggerated actions, ‘awh, baby. i’m sorry.’ a pout formed on your lips as you soothingly rubbed his back.

yamaguchi rapidly shook his head before turning the tables and rubbing your back instead, ‘nonono, it’s fine! i’m fine!- and i’m glad you’re fine too.’ he stumbled, hastily placing a kiss on your cheek before whispering in your ear, ‘i’m so proud of you. congratulations!’

although you couldn’t see his face, you could tell from his light voice that he was beaming 

after that, he buried his nose into the crook of you neck and snaked his arms around your waist to pull you into a hug, which you both stayed in for a good 5 minutes

Kei Tsukishima

let’s be honest, tsukki’s definitely part of the lgbtq+ community but in deep denial

like if you ask him, he’s not even questioning his gender or sexuality, he’s just ✨straight ✨

so when you just randomly joked one day ‘oi, four-eyes, turn this shit off. she’s too much for my lil’ bi heart to handle.’ while y’all were watching a movie and you instinctively made an off-hand comment about how gorgeous the female lead was 

upon realising what you just said, you turned to him with the most awkward grin plastered on your face, ‘tsukki, i’m bisexual, by the way.’

‘no shit, sherlock.’ he hissed at your use of that little nickname 

you turned your head to look at him as you blinked rapidly, finally  mentally processing his response 

while he did the exact same thing simultaneously, dramatically turning his head to meet your gaze before muttering, ‘was that you coming out?’

your eyes widened as you realised, then nodded slowly

tsukishima smirked, shifting his attention back onto the movie, ‘congrats.’ he spoke in a mellow voice, a slight sense of amiability laced into his tone 

‘thanks-’

‘have you told your parents yet?’ he quirked a brow, his eyes remaining glued to the screen

you hesitated before shaking your head, ‘no.’ 

‘what about your friends?’

‘yeah, i came out to my friend group a few months ago - along with yamaguchi.’

tsukishima couldn’t help but frown at the fact you came out to yamaguchi before him but honestly, he couldn’t blame you - he was aware that his bitchy exterior probably discouraged you from telling him sooner, so he was just glad that you had the confidence to tell him eventually  

‘so how long have you known that you’re, like, y’know, bi?’  he inquired further

‘a while.’ you hummed, biting your bottom lip, internally so relieved that he wasn’t being too awkward or weird about it

‘good for you.’ he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, not a hint of sarcasm or irony detected in his voice for a change, ‘oh, and good luck with coming out to your parents’

‘thank you.’ you murmur, happily shifting your attention back onto the movie

 tsukishima honestly doesn’t mind/care tbh

like he’s supportive and will beat a bitch up if they don’t accept you - but in general, he thinks that it’s none of his business who you love

as long as it is him (ಥ _ ಥ) 

Kenma Kuzome

ok so fun story 

you were both chilling in his room on a saturday, he was playing on his nintendo switch as always and you were on your phone

you had been meaning to come out to him for a while now but every time you tried, it seemed as though something happened to prevent you from doing so 

for example, you tried to come out to him while y’all were chilling at the park but then a bunch of geese started terrorizing y’all and it completely ruined the mood

so you thought that now you were in his room - where there was less of an abundance of geese - it’d be a better time than any to just lift the burden that had been weighing on your chest

you were as nervous as any one would be but you kept on trying to reassure yourself that kenma would be supportive 

however, he had never discussed any lgbtq+ related issues with you so you had no idea where he stood with that sort of stuff but tbh, he doesn’t give off homophobic vibes 

after a while of staring at the wall and working up the courage, you finally spoke up, ‘hey, kenma. i think i might be bi.’

you mentally cursed at yourself as you didn’t ‘think’ that you are bi but rather you knew that you are bi, yet you felt the need to add that filler just in case things went sour

he perked up upon hearing this and turned to look at you, a small smile gracing his lips, ‘okay, that’s cool. congratulations.’ 

you couldn’t help but beam back at him, ‘thanks, babe.’ you almost whispered, gladly going back to whatever you were doing on your phone

honestly, you were happy to leave the interaction at that - i mean, his brief and calm response was satisfying beyond expected, as it was probably the least awkward way that could’ve possibly gone down

however, what happened next filled you with endless amounts of euphoria 

‘oh, and (y/n).’ kenma said to grab your attention, ‘i’m bisexual.’

you did a double-take 

your instincts told you to throw yourself into his arms and rave on about how proud you are that he had the courage to come out but after a moment of reflection, you had a better idea

‘okay, that’s cool. congratulations.’

kenma automatically pouted at how you used his own words against him when he was clearly expecting a hug, ‘(y/n)..’ he whined lowly, shifting his gaze back onto his game

but you were weak so ofc you pulled him into a hug as you both muttered sweet, reassuring things into each other’s ears

‘i love you so much, (y/n) no matter what.’

‘i know.’ you snickered.

‘bitch-’

‘i love you too. and i’m so proud of you for coming out - you’re so brave.’

‘aw, thanks. so are you, babe.’

‘i know’

kenma playfully nibbled at your neck for being such a clown during a sentimental moment

but anyway, you helped kenma come out so- yeah :))