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nosferatvpussy · 4 years ago

Text

distorted lullabies [chapter III]

Word count: 4,976

Warnings: mentions of sexual abuse, vulgar language

Pairing: Dracula x reader

AO3 link if you prefer that format.

My phone rang.

Moaning sleepily, I rolled over on the bed searching blindly for it on the bedside table. My fingers found the vibration’s source and grabbed it. I peeked out of one eye so I could see the screen and accept the call, without taking notice of who was calling.

“Yeah?” I answered, closing my eyes again.

“I want to know everything.”

“Diana?”

��Who else?” said my neighbour. “You missed our breakfast so I expect it was an above average night for you.”

“You’re so nosy!” I complained but chuckled. “Was I loud?” I grimaced, expecting the worst and imagining my other neighbour’s faces at me the next time I decided to stroll down the street.

“Well, I definitely heard you but I’m literally one door away from you. And Jack and Suze are on holiday so, you don’t have to worry about them. Come outside, I’ve made us lunch.”

“‘Kay. Give me a minute and I’ll be right there.”

I sighed and, phone still in hand, attempted to get up but immediately lied down again upon feeling that I had a stiff neck. Staring at the ceiling, my mind flashed back to last night and I smacked my forehead.

“World’s biggest hickey, indeed,” I muttered as I strained to get out of bed. “Ow, ow, ow.”

I opened the curtains on my way to the bathroom and squinted at the uncharacteristic sunlight that streamed in. Peeking out of the window, I could see a pristine blue sky and no clouds in sight. Hopefully it would last.

I caught my reflection on the mirror as soon as I entered the bathroom and paused. My hair was tousled and I had dark circles around my eyes. My upper lip was a bit colourless but the bottom one had an unnatural shade of violet as a reminder of my make out with the Count. A little makeup would disguise it so Diana wouldn’t have more reasons to pick on me. My hands started pulling my hair back so I could brush my teeth without it slipping into the sink but shock paralysed me.

There, on the left side of my neck I had teeth marks imbedded on my skin. If they had been just outlines that would have been fine - I had had one of those before in encounters with previous lovers - but I had punctures this time.

“He bit me,” I spoke to myself, my faint voice echoing in the bathroom.

I leaned towards the mirror to inspect it up close. The skin around the laceration was discoloured and slightly swollen to the touch. There was no blood at all. It couldn’t have been a very deep bite because my body was already making a light scab over the wound.

“What the fuck…”

My brain raced searching for a plausible explanation as I stared at myself. There was none. Anger replaced shock and I grabbed my phone, cycling through the contact list. I silently thanked myself for saving his new number in case I had needed to speak with him regarding his assets. I called three times to no avail. Steam was probably coming out of my ears as I typed a message to him.

YOU FUCKING BIT ME! Expect the police to knock on your door today, you wanker.

All of my hypothesis as to why he had done that involved some sort of mental disorder. Number one, he was just fucking crazy. Number two, he had a fetish for biting people. Number three, he suffered from delusions that he was a vampire. And every other form of variation surrounding that.

I waited a few more minutes for a reply or a call back from him but nothing happened.

I debated whether I should clean the wound or not but if I wanted the police to get DNA so I could get a proper case built against him, it was best I didn’t wash it. Although the wound certainly didn’t look pretty, there was nothing that indicated an infection.

There was a rasp on my back door and then Diana called my name.

“I’m going!” I yelled.

After having used the toilet, brushed my teeth and hair, I dabbed some concealer around my eyes and put on a light shade of lipstick to cover the lip bruise Count Dracula had given me. I changed from my pajamas into an acceptable outfit, which included a red scarf tied around my neck, and went out into the back garden I shared with Diana.

Diana was not only my neighbour but also the world’s nicest landlady. Her house and mine used be conjoined which is why we shared the back yard. Years ago, when Diana’s husband died, she’d decided to separate the two houses again and rent one of them. She was still looking into splitting the garden by placing a wood fence when I moved in. We had grown so close over the years that she had given up on installing a fence and just left it the way it was.

We took turns on making breakfast for each other every Saturday and we usually ate on a picnic table on the covered patio that sat adjacent to Diana’s backdoor. But today, Diana had set the table on the very back of the garden with a parasol shielding a round wooden table and two chairs. The bird fountain on the far left was on and birds were happily singing and chirping as they stood beneath the shooting streams of water.

The blinding sun paired with such a joyous scene made it hard for me to stay mad and I found myself beaming at Diana.

“Good morning!” she cheered.

Diana had her long hair on a plait which gave it a cool effect now that she had stopped dyeing her hair and embraced the silver. That didn’t mean she was fully accepting of aging - she had a fair amount of botox on her forehead and around her eyes. Working as a marketing director for a big cosmetics company for over 20 years will do that to any person. Plus if she looked a day over 40 it wouldn’t exactly be the best marketing strategy.

I was the closest thing to a child to her, well, besides the 5 cats she owned. Ever since Gerard, her husband, died ten odd years ago she hadn’t experimented with dates or lovers because she thought nobody would ever live up to him. And so she lived vicariously through my love escapades.

“Morning!”

I had barely sat down and she was already serving me a plate of spaghetti on creamy mushroom sauce, my favourite of hers. She was about to pour me a glass of white wine but I covered the glass with my hand.

“Hangover?” She winced sympathetically.

“Not the worst one but yes.” I poured myself a glass of water and gulped it down.

“So? Name, age, what does he do, how was he in bed… Go.”

I frowned as I drank the last of my water.

“Hm… I- I don’t think we had sex,” I said.

Diana lowered her fork that had been on the way to her mouth and frowned back.

“You don’t remember?”

“Well, I remember kissing him at my door. And then he-” I touched the scarf absently and put on my courtroom face before my eyes could pop out of my head.

I had blacked out. I had no memory about what had happened after he’d bitten me. I didn’t even remember putting on my pajamas. He could have done way more than just bit me.

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up.

“He what?”

“Uh, he gave me a hickey but yeah I don’t remember much after that. Honestly I drank a lot of rum yesterday and I’m having a small case of amnesia right now. I’m sure it will come back to me later.” God, I fucking hoped so.

“But you are not sure if you had sex with him?”

“99% sure I didn’t,” I conceded. “I’d be sore if I had and I’m not.”

“He could have been gentle about it.”

“Trust me, he would not have been gentle.” I forced a laugh.

That got Diana’s attention away from my blackout and she started goading for more information. The rational part of my brain placed itself on autopilot as we had lunch and talked about Count Dracula. For once I was glad about the courtroom face I had acquired over the years and the amount of insensitivity that came with it, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to keep talking without panic taking over.

After Diana was satisfied with all the details I had given her, we moved topics to Judge Llewellyn and the wretched amount of sexism we had both experienced in our lines of work. It was a good outlet for the anger I was feeling towards Dracula.

Two hours later we said our goodbyes and parted with a promise to go grocery shopping together the next day.

Once in the comfort and security of my living room I realised I had lied to Diana about the bite without even noticing I’d done that. If I had, then Diana would insist in taking me to the police station and keeping me company the whole time I was there, which was a very good idea. So why had I lied? She was my friend and with how I was starting to panic, I wanted emotional support.

But there was a tiny part of me that didn’t want anyone else to know about the bite, like it was a private and very intimate thing. As if it was a secret to be kept very safe between Count Dracula and I.

Sitting on my sofa, I flickered my eyes to the front door. I should go to the police station, yes but my body was willing myself to keep sitted and remain there.

My phone beeped and with a glance, I knew I had to stay put.

We’ll talk after sunset.

____________________________________________

The police didn’t go to his home so, he presumed she had not paid them a visit. Or, and that was also very likely, London’s police was terrible at their job. Either way, he was surprised to hear her heartbeat coming from inside the house. He had expected her to flee upon receiving his text and, oh, if she did he would find her. But now that he had gotten acquainted with her scent and marvelous taste, there was no mistake that she was inside the house, waiting for him.

He smiled, pleased that he wouldn’t have to hunt her down across London, and rang the doorbell.

“Come in!” she shouted from the inside.

Black eyebrows shot up on the Count’s forehead. Easy, a little too easy, even.

He turned the doorknob, pushed it open and waited. For what exactly, he wasn’t sure. Perhaps another attempt to capture him by Johnny’s Foundation or a trap by Scotland Yard but there were no other heartbeats coming from the house.

He made his way in, listening attentively for her. There were several photos of her and friends, presumably, on the walls. One of them was with… Hm, what was her name? His tongue rubbed the top of his mouth in an attempt to evoke the memories he had consumed along with her blood. Ah, Diana. Lovely woman. He might have a taste of her, too.

“There you are,” he said upon finding Y/N sitting on the living room.

The room wasn’t particularly big but it served as a library large enough to cause envy on the best of individuals. Vinyl records were set up as decoration on the wall behind the sofa where she was sat. A stone fireplace and the TV broke the overall “vintage” look. It was hardly vintage to him but he had missed several decades that were now considered old to humans.

She looked up at him tiredly and stood up from the sofa, stretching like a cat which caused several of her brones to crack and a moan to erupt from her throat. A corner of his mouth twitched up as a response to the sound.

“Will you give me a second so I can order food? I haven’t eaten since lunch.”

The Count stood there, nonplussed, as she grabbed her phone and started clicking its screen. He expected screaming, a slap to the face or crying, but not this. Not this at all.

For starters, it was unusual that she had remembered having been bitten. Even more unusual that she had been able to sent him a text calling him a “wanker”. On the night before, he had meant to put her under his thrall, much like he had done to Renfield, as an experiment to see if he could bend someone as willful as her. Considering that she had successfully insulted him, it had failed and he was pleasantly surprised with that. After he received that text, he had prepared himself for a scandal.

“Y/N.”

A few more clicks on the screen and she looked up at him, a mix of exhaustion and anger on her eyes.

“I couldn’t move all day, did you know that? Waiting for you. I couldn’t control my body, like a fucking puppet waiting for its master to move the strings.”

“What?”

“If obeying your every command-" she stood on her tiptoes, putting her nose close to his as he instinctively leaned closer "-is part of being a vampire then I don’t bloody want it." Her voice was low, acquiring a tinge of what she probably considered threat.

He couldn’t stop his lips from parting and his eyes from widening. She knew, she knew!

��Oh, how have I underestimated you!” he exclaimed, a grin sprouting in his face.

“Save it, toothy,” she said as she jammed a finger on his chest. “I’m going to have a shower and you’ll wait here so we can talk later.”

“Watch your tongue,” he warned.

He was more amused by her anger than insulted but he wanted to put the spell he had on her to the test. Defiant eyes met his and her upper lip curled, almost like a snarl.

“I will do no such thing,” she enunciated every word carefully with a smug smile.

He held her stare, admired that her insolence had persevered and she had no fear of him. Apparently thinking she’d won, she turned her back on him and left the room.

Dracula barely registered the sounds of her footsteps on the upper floor and the shower running. He was too trapped in thought to take any notice of it.

He sunk down exactly where she had been sitting, an awed smile still in his face. Usually, when he chose a person to feed on and truly enjoy their blood for a longer period of time, a spell took over them so they wouldn’t notice the bites or have any memory of the fact. They would just go about life oblivious to what was happening. It had worked on Johnny and even worked on Agatha, although it only lasted so long on her.

It had not worked at all on Y/N. Except… She had some level of obedience to him. Not the same as Renfield’s, of course, but enough to make her immobile through all afternoon. Still it didn’t make much sense because he hadn’t ordered her to remain still and wait for him but that’s what she had done.

Anticipation grew within him and he almost went up the stairs to question her exactly how she’d pieced together that he was a vampire. Impulsivity nearly got the better of him but the ringing doorbell kept him from bolting upstairs.

Ah, her food was here. He had some reparations to make with her if he wanted her to be as good a bride as Johnny had been, so he stood up from the sofa and went to the door to receive the meal. The paper bag informed him that it was Thai cuisine, which he sadly hadn’t had the opportunity to try yet but in a metropolis like London it shouldn’t be too hard to find Thai blood.

After dismissing the man who had delivered the food, Dracula brought the food to her kitchen where he found plates and cutlery. As she finished her shower and slipped out of the bathroom, he occupied himself with setting up a table on her dining room. After some searching in drawers he found linen napkins and candles. He was finishing lighting the candles placed on the center of the table when she came down the stairs.

She stopped under the arch that led to the dining room and glared at the special decoration. Droplets of water cascaded from her hair and her skin glowed as if she had light stored behind her flesh. She had on an oversized jumper which concealed her shape but her legs were on display. They were a different shade than the rest of her skin, a little light as if they hadn't seen the sunrays in a long time, but that didn’t take away from the beauty of them.

Dracula wondered how they would feel wrapped around him, the feel of her warm skin against his, how she would trap him with those legs while he entered her. The blood running through her veins pumped in anger as he gazed at her. If she’d let him he could feed from a particularly delicious vein on her inner thigh. The thought of it made him hard.

“Stop that,” she said, breaking the trance.

“Stop what?”

“Looking at me like you are deciding between fucking me or drinking me dry.”

“Why not both?”

She winced as if his words had hurt her.

“Last night… Did we- did you do something else to me?”

Suddenly understanding the pain that had passed her face moments ago, he shook his head.

“No,” he responded firmly. “You were nearly unconscious. After I was done, I waited until you could stand on your own and sent you inside.”

“So you didn’t-?” She gulped and crossed her arms in front of her.

“Rape you?” he completed and she winced again. “No. I would never. Consent is important to me in that matter.”

He didn’t want her to be scared of him and right now, he could smell her fear. Trust, most of all, was what he wanted from her. Perhaps that would be the right ingredient when making a perfect bride. Lucy, whom he’d met just two nights before he met Y/N, trusted in him enough to completely give herself to him, body and mind. Lucy, however, was too… malleable. Y/N’s nearly unbreakable iron-will was admirable and he was certain that because of it she’d be unparalleled as a bride.

Having that consideration in mind, he forced himself to put his good manners aside and, instead of offering her a chair, made his way around the table and took the seat furthest from her. The crease between her eyebrows softened and she nodded to acknowledge his action, sitting down at the head of the table. She opened the food container and carefully tipped it over her plate. The strong smell of spices made his nose tingle and his mouth water - not at the food but at the taste her blood would acquire after she ate it.

“So, enlighten me,” he leaned back, crossing his hands over his chest. “If you know what I am why would you invite me in?”

She raised a finger as she chewed on the food, eyes rolling back in pleasure. He rubbed his fingers together as an attempt to concentrate but she was determined to make it difficult to him, it seemed.

“Quid pro quo, Clarice. You tell me things I tell you things,” she said after swallowing. Seeing the frown on his face, she waved a hand. “Film reference, forget it. But you get the meaning.” He nodded so she would continue but reminded himself to watch a film by the name of Silence of the Lambs, at least that was the title her blood provided. “I had to invite you in. My body told me to.”

“Your body?” He leaned forward, eyebrows raising as he considered it. “How-”

“No,” she interrupted. “My turn. How long do I have?”

“What?”

“Until I start wanting to rip people apart,” she said before taking another bite from her food.

“Oh, that. I didn’t take enough blood to turn you.”

“But you will?”

“Yes.” He smiled.

“Do I have a say in this?”

“No.”He eased himself back to rest on the chair. “You may try to run and hide but I will find you. The outcome will be the same if you don’t run so let’s not make it harder on ourselves, shall we? This will be much more pleasurable if I have your consent.” She stabbed daggers with her eyes and opened her mouth to talk but it was his turn to raise a finger to ask for silence. “You’ve asked too many questions already. Tell me how you came to know what I am.”

“It wasn’t very hard putting it together. You are not exactly discreet,” she said in a snide tone. “At first, I thought you were insane. Although I was stuck playing statue all afternoon, I still had my phone with me and I could move my hands just fine. So I accessed our database, the law firm’s database that is, and searched for your file. I was looking for a criminal file or hospital records.”

She paused to eat some more and Count Dracula once again took a moment to appreciate this decade’s technology. A mobile phone contained a world of information just one click away. If those were around the time of Inquisition, the entire population would be burned for heresy and witchcraft.

“Imagine my surprise upon seeing you have been a client of ours since the 1890s,” she continued. “I thought that was probably a mistake, that maybe an ancestor of yours with the same name had been a client in the past. But I found a black and white photo in the file. Nobody is exactly identical to an ancestor so I was sure it had to be you.” She cleared her throat. “Then it was matter of putting 2 and 2 together… Renfield had said that you are only available after dark, so there was that. And then there was your cold skin, the bite and the apparent immortality. That’s a vampire if I’ve ever met one and, well, now I have.”

“How many people have access to that information?”

“Technically only Renfield. I was his intern when I started at the firm and I know all his passwords. That’s how I gained access...” her mouth fell open. “Is he a vampire, too? Is that why he is the only one permitted to see your files?”

The Count laughed.

“Hardly. He is a servant.”

She glowered at him.

“I don’t serve anyone,” she said in a small voice. “I felt enslaved today while I waited for you, unable to move… Please don’t do that to me.”

He had tried to do that and, though it hadn’t worked, almost regretted trying. He didn’t enjoy seeing her humiliation now or hearing the meekness in her voice. If she was anyone else it could have amused him but what he liked about her was the power and boldness she exuded. Stripping her of those would be like knocking the moon and stars out of the sky. Would anyone admire the night sky if they were not there?

“You are not a servant and you will never be one.” He tilted his head as something occurred him. “Why did you not call the police?”

“I couldn’t bring myself to do it. My body wouldn’t obey my commands-” She straightened her shoulders and lowered her eyes for a second before meeting his again. “I didn’t want anybody to know about the bite because part of me knew that you wouldn’t want that.”

“Ah.” He nodded, finally making sense of it. “Loyalty, that was what bound you to me, then. You’re not a servant and you’re not blindly loyal to me as Renfield is, it seems. Wanker, right? That’s the name you called me.” She smiled at that. “It proves you’re not a servant, otherwise you wouldn’t even think such thing. I suspect that you are only bound to the vampire in me, which is why you couldn’t go the police. Your tie to me prevents you from revealing it to other people.”

“Like I signed an NDA where I can’t talk about you being a vampire or anything related to that,” she said, regaining some of the strength on her voice as she made sense of it. “An NDA is something two or more parties sign when-”

“I know what a non-disclosure agreement is,” he interrupted.

“Were those around in your time?” She returned her attention to the food on her plate.

“I don’t think so,” he said. She was taking everything in fairly well. He wondered how much more she would be able to digest in one sitting. “I know what it is because you do. It’s in your blood.”

Alarm made her hand move brusquely and the food on her fork dropped down to her plate.

“What?”

Small doses in the future, he decided.

“We can talk about it later.”

“I want to talk about it now.”

“Too bad.” His smile was taunting. “Are you planning on fleeing?”

She glared at his refusal, defying eyes as ever. He shook his head lightly to indicate that she couldn’t coerce him with that stare. At last, she turned her attention to the food.

“What’s the point if you’ll find me? Besides, I have cases open. I’m not going to abandon my clients when I’m the best chance they’ve got at winning in court.”

The detached manner in which she spoke made him narrow his eyes. She wasn’t lying, he knew that much but humans fled, they always did. Their survival instinct was too strong not to. Count Dracula swirled his tongue inside his mouth, trying to perceive an explanation to her reaction. He got what she called her “courtroom face” but he wasn’t satisfied by it.

“You won’t run away?”

“Now it seems that you want me to. Should I go upstairs and pack a suitcase?”

“Try doing that and you won’t make more than two steps.”

“See,” she stated as she pointed her fork at him. “That’s why there is no point in running. You’ve given me my fate and while I would very much like to dispute it, I know when it’s a losing cause.”

“You disappoint me, dear,” he muttered.

“I said it was a losing cause, not a lost one,” she said, having another bite as a smile grew on her lips. “I’ll make you a deal.”

The Count grinned and leaned forward, placing his forearms on the table. In his experience, it didn't matter how shrewd the deal proposed was, holes were bound to be there. And a deal coming from a lawyer should be exciting.

“Go on.”

“You’ll give me time to conclude my pending cases and in the meantime I won’t take new ones. I assume I won’t be able to practise law after I’m a vampire and I don’t want to leave loose ends behind.”

“Done.”

“I’m not done. I want to listen and learn from you. Convince me immortality is worth it from your years of experience and I’ll consent to you drinking my blood. Until then, you keep your fangs to yourself.” She paused to give him a moment to protest but he remained quiet. “You’ll only turn me when I tell you to. I die on my terms.”

She set her cutlery down, placed her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her hands.

“And if I can’t convince you that immortality is worth it?” He asked her.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

“When? " He chuckled. "Isn’t it arrogant to think you’ve won already?”

“I wouldn’t be a good lawyer if I wasn’t a little arrogant.” She gave him a cheeky smile. “Have we got a deal?”

Her self-assuredness was back, squaring her shoulders and making her eyes gleam. In spite of his suspicion over the deal, it made him grin.

Jack Seward’s stolen phone rang and the Count retrieved it from his pocket to see Lucy’s face lighting up the screen. He spared Y/N a glance and caught the look of confusion on her face upon noticing that that was clearly not the phone she’d given him.

Dracula ignored the call and not one second later he received a text from Lucy.

R u skipping dinner 2nite?

Therein lied the difference between Y/N and her. Lucy did not care about anything at all except the unfathomable desire to destroy herself by any means possible. She was in love with death long before they met. Count Dracula hadn’t fully grasped Y/N intentions with that deal but he knew it had nothing to do with a desire to die. She had a practical sense to go about life, he’d noticed it when she expressed that it didn’t matter whether she was afraid to die or not. A deal was a testament to that.

“I’m afraid I must go,” he said as he typed a message for Lucy.

He stood up and put away his phone. Y/N tipped her head back to look at him expectantly.

“Are you declining the deal?”

“No.” He stopped next to her. “I thought we could seal it with a kiss.”

She had a second to widen her eyes before he bent down and claimed her lips. A warm hand rested on his cheek instead of pushing him away and she opened her mouth to greet him access, even if for a second. She drew back breathlessly and gazed into his eyes.

“Done,” she said softly.

And then he was gone in a blur.

Taglist: @festering-queen @girlonfireice @mr-kisskiss-bangbang @thorin-smokin-shield @hoefordarkness @dreamer2381

So sorry if I forgot to tag anyone

#dracula fanfic #dracula 2020 #dracula netflix #dracula bbc #dracula fanfiction #claes bang #claes bang fanfiction #vampire fanfiction #vampire fanfix #dracula x reader #distorted lullabies

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john1513kjv-blog · 5 years ago

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My Testimony: How Jesus saved my life (multiple times)

I was born and raised in a religious family (notably Catholic). Growing up I went to mass every Sunday, believing in God, Jesus, and the Virgin Mary (not really as much); or so I thought I did. In my middle school and high school years, I was like everyone else. I thought that everything was fine and that there was nothing wrong with the things I did (like lying, stealing things behind my parents’ back, cussing, saying rude things behind my parents’ back when they told me things I didn’t like.)

Though I didn’t realize somewhere down the line; things were about to change for me and my family. 2011 was the year that my grandma died and it affected everyone in my family, including my mom. Life hasn’t been the same for her. Once a happy soul eager to have people around, now is always suspicious of others, not wanting to go out or visit anyone, claiming people are out to get her. I didn’t understand much of what was happening. I just simply thought my mom was crazy. But at the same time, I wondered why God let this happen? Again, I didn’t thought much of it, I simply did more things things that were considering wrong in God’s eyes (like lying to my mom that my aunt called me and cursed my mom when I only called a local gamestop store to get a game I wanted, looking up porn due to a dare from a so-called “friend” and looking up fetish art)

In high school I dated this japanese-american guy who was an atheist, he was the one who proposed to me. At the time, I didn’t know much about what love was. It wasn’t until my parents found and got angry, not for the fact he was an atheist, but for the fact that I was texting him many times in class and it raised the price on the phone bill. My dad furiously told me to end the relationship immediately. I was really upset about it, yet I did as I was told. It hurt my now ex boyfriend and I was mad at what my parent’s said to me. So what I did was told him to just pretend to be friends but to keep the relationship a secret. It worked for only a month until my now ex told me that what I was doing was wrong to lie to my parent’s behind their backs. I didn’t understand at first until he wanted to end our relationship. Without question, I did what he told me and again I was upset. Little did I know that Jesus was doing me a favor. Had he not intervene, I would have ended up a homeless teen mom.

After breaking ties with the Catholic Church (due to my mom’s irrational, mental instability), my dad sought help elsewhere. We went to this Christian Church that supposedly teaches from the Bible but something about it was missing. My dad told me that he felt that there was something wrong in that church. Was it due to the fact it held church services on Sunday instead of the seventh day (Saturday) as the Bible said? Again, I didin’t think much of it. I went to this “revival”, not because I wanted to look for Christ, but for worldly pleasures.

Come 2014, and my dad was searching something on the TV (something to watch or perhaps something related to the Bible). That wasn’t until He found a channel called “El Evangelio Eterno” (in English: The Everlasting Gospel). Namely this Pastor (who’s the head pastor of this ministry) was preaching something that none of us has ever heard, the three angels’ message.

REVELATION 14:6-12

6 And I saw another angel fly in the midst of heaven, having the everlasting gospel to preach unto them that dwell on the earth, and to every nation, and kindred, and tongue, and people, 7 Saying with a loud voice, Fear God, and give glory to him; for the hour of his judgment is come: and worship him that made heaven, and earth, and the sea, and the fountains of waters. 8 And there followed another angel, saying, Babylon is fallen, is fallen, that great city, because she made all nations drink of the wine of the wrath of her fornication. 9 And the third angel followed them, saying with a loud voice, If any man worship the beast and his image, and receive his mark in his forehead, or in his hand, 10 The same shall drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out without mixture into the cup of his indignation; and he shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels, and in the presence of the Lamb: 11 And the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever: and they have no rest day nor night, who worship the beast and his image, and whosoever receiveth the mark of his name. 12 Here is the patience of the saints: here are they that keep the commandments of God, and the faith of Jesus.

From then on, my dad wanted to know more of what they were preaching and that’s when they announced that they were opening a church a few miles away to where we live.The first one who went there was my dad. I didn’t pay that much attention to my dad when he watched the channel nor what they were saying or teaching. But one day (it was a Saturday), out of curiousity, I asked my dad if I wanted to come with him and he said yes. From there I always went with him to church, but at the same time, I was missing something. I learned about all the prophecies of the end times, that Jesus was coming real soon, about God’s real day of rest (Saturday), learned about the health reform that God can heal us, not just spiritually, but also from our physical illnesses too. I learned all these things, yet something was still missing. In September 2, 2017, our pastor preached to us (in a sermon of the end times) that Donald Trump signed the executive order to make Sunday, National Day of Prayer as a response to for the victims of hurricane Harvey.

At that moment, I was scared. I felt my heart racing. I thought to myself, “If I don’t get baptized soon, I might get left behind and receive the mark of the beast”. So I was one of the few people that got baptized that day, and that’s when I gave my life to Jesus. I studied more of God’s word, made a YouTube Channel to teach end-time prophecies, used my old social media accounts to spread the gospel (or so I thought I did) and I let go some of the things that I used to like (like stealing, secular music, looking up things that were not centered around God, video games [mostly because I was addicted to them and were the main reason I lied to my mom to get me a game]) and I thought I was saved. 2 years went by, I gave gospel tracts (but only at the front door because I was a little bit shy on what to say), and made posters that show the pagan origins of every holiday celebrated (except for thanksgiving).

Every Sabbath became dull, and everytime a sermon on end time prophecy is preached, I always listen yet feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit and I end up crying because I felt like I haven’t done much for the Lord. Everyday I always had a nagging feeling inside that something was wrong. It was until then I started developing a small legalistic mindset (meaning that if I didn’t do enough of what I was taught, I wasn’t gonna make it. Let me tell you, it affected my character greatly. I tried confronting people (including my old church friends) that what they were believing in was wrong and I used Scripture to convince them that they were wrong (instead of using it in a correct and humble manner) and they would fight back and I couldn’t be able to respond either because I didn’t know much of something or I didn’t want to risk embarassing myself. I became self righteous, but in the inside (I was good at masking my character) I started watching conspiracy videos and things involving the New World Order and the Illuminati and thought that God wanted me to tell people about it. I only told a few people about it, little by little, with a little bit of bible prophecy, yet I was still scared.

Overtime, I was interested in learning a little bit about the health reform that I signed up to be a medical missionary, so I can learn how God can heal people physically and spiritually (like how Jesus preached and healed people as well). I remember signing up and was super exciting about it. It was very interesting to learn at first, but just like church, it became very dull. Along with my legalistic mindset, I developed some minor depression, anxieties, which didn’t help that I suffer from a mild case of ADHD (a mental disorder I had since birth).

These things filled my soul with even more but I didn’t want to admit it. Come May 24, 2019, I went to this church retreat center in the mountain, where they were going to do seminars on the art of apologetics. The third day, I was there and I got up early to attend church service in the main audience hall. I didn’t remember much about what the pastor was preaching but I remember hearing something along the lines of the pastor saying, “God has given us all this light to share to the world” “What exactly are we doing with that light?” The sermon hit me hard that day and my anxieties rised up again and I felt extreme fear inside, that God didn’t want me anymore because I didn’t do enough. After the service ended, a sister from the service stopped me as I was leaving. She told me, “What is wrong? Why were you crying?” I told her my problems and I mentioned to her that I haven’t brought a soul to Christ for 2 years and felt like I wasn’t good enough. She responded kindly with: “Everyone in the church feels like that, including myself. That’s why we come to learn how to do these things. God knows your heart, and knows that you want to serve Him, but you just have to be patient and He will let you know when it’s the right time to do it. You don’t have to do everything at once because God didn’t call you to do any of that. The reason is that you’re not completely ready yet and He is still teaching you His word. He won’t let you carry more than you can handle. Just keep your eyes on Him and you’ll be fine.” I listened to her and thanked her.

The last thing I remember I ran to my cabin and I went down on my knees crying with all my heart, “Thank you God, Thank Jesus, Thank you for saving me, for sending me this sister to comfort me. If it wasn’t for you, I would have called it quits. Forgive me Lord, for losing sight of why I am here. Forgive me for having this legalistic mindset, for being decieved to think that works saved me when you did it all for me through the sacrifice of your only Begotten Son. If I have to wait 5, 10, or even 20 years for me to be where you want me to be Lord, I’ll wait. All I ask is to never let you go and to never lose sight of you.” After that, I felt like the weight of my chest was lifted off. I understood God’s grace and mercy on someone like me. A 23-year-old woman with ADHD, a quirky sense of humor, artistic talent, yet always tries her best to love others. Jesus saved my life many times in my past, even now. All because He loved me enough to die for not only for me but for you who’s reading this.

That’s right, He loves you also. He loves you enough that He died so that you and I could be free from your sins and reconnect with God. All it takes to turn away from your sinful lifestyle (whether it be drugs, prostitution, masturbation, homosexuality, theft, hatred, alcoholism, addiction of any kind), and learn to live for Jesus. <3

JOHN 3:16-20

16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. 17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. 19 And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.

20 For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither* cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. 21 But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.

#my testimony #testimony #how jesus saved my life #christianity #god is real #god is love #god is good

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medea10 · 5 years ago

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My Review of Angels of Death

#anime review #rachel gardner #isaac foster #daniel dickens #angels of death #satsuriku no tenshi

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aether-asterisk · 6 years ago

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ALSO IM NOT AWKWARD BUT IM PRETTY FUCKING SAD, NO ONE GIRL OR OTHERWISE WILL HANG OUT WITH ME AND I CANT JUST KILL MYSELF I CANT TALK WHEN IM DEAD SO WHATS THE GODDAMN POINT THE ONLY REASON I HAVENT YELLED AT YOU ABOUT THIS IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE HORRENDOUSLY LOW SELF-ESTEEM BUT I DONT CARE ANYMORE BECAUSE I TRY TO MAKE YOU HAPPY WITH SOMETHING BUT YOU DONT EVEN GIVE AN INCH OF SHIT BECAUSE OUNCE A CREEP ALWAYS A GODDAMN CREEP RIGHT?!

Yes, Nova. Always a goddamn creep.

You really hurt me. I was a foolish young lady who, not only did you take advantage of with you sweet talking, but also refused to accept when enough was enough. After we broke up, I had every right to cut ties with you completely. You wouldn’t stop whining about it and you wouldn’t even try to get over it and move on. And I tried to be nice about it. I tried to reason with you and kindly ask you to please stop trying to talk to me and interact with my blog, and even offered ways to help move yourself forward which you also refused.

Obviously, that was another mistake on my part.

You’ve made it clear that you can’t be reasoned with, and you refuse to do anything about it or your own horrendous faults. Granted, this was after I gave up on blocking all the accounts you make, one after another, because you just don’t seem to understand that I want nothing to do with you anymore. You know what that is? Harassment. I told you to stop but you didn’t. If this is how you interact with other girls you know, it’s no fucking wonder why they don’t want to hang out with you either. You’re lucky they haven’t called the police on you.

Blocking was futile. Arrogance was futile. Reasoning was futile. Ignorance proved to be futile as well. Because of you, I was afraid of interacting with anonymous users because I thought they were just you trying to get the satisfaction of me talking to you. You said you were going to leave after that. You saw what it was doing to me, and finally, for once in your goddamn natural-born life, you FINALLY felt a glimmer of humanity and deleted your blog.

And now...you go back on your word. Again.

You lied to me, and this sure as hell isn’t the first time either. You haven’t changed. You never changed. You’re still the same lying, cheating, stalking, immature asshole. You’re absolutely hopeless, Will Woodson. That’s right, I’m using your real name. Privacy seems almost nonexistent to you, so why should I give a fuck about it? I’m not THAT merciful. If something does happen to you, you know you deserve it. If you expect me to feel sorry for you, you’re dead fucking wrong.

Oh, and don’t think I didn’t notice your little guilt-trips. You are not the victim. You’re not even a tragic villain. You’re just a manipulative piece of shit who just can’t accept that’s what he truly is so you get angry at me for your own bullshit. And then further said bullshit by blaming your mental illness rather than taking responsibility for what was clearly YOU, not your disorder.

You took advantage of my young naivety. You used me. You forced your weird kinks upon me (Didn’t you once have me roleplay as a maternal figure, or you as a cat? Yeah, both of those things are gross. Not even going into your other kinks and “interests”, including a particular fart fetish comic. Don’t think I didn’t figure out why you really liked it. The resemblance between me and the main character is much too obvious if you take even the smallest glimpse at it. The hair is the biggest dead giveaway). You attacked my friends. You lied to me. You stalked and harassed me, and continue to do so. Even things that didn’t involve you, you only made worse. And you expect me to forgive you and be friends again?! THAT’S NOT HOW IT FUCKING WORKS. You want me to be happy? Don’t ever fucking talk to me -- or even ABOUT me -- ever again. Ever. Don’t even come to Tumblr. You aren’t welcome here, and as I type this out, I hope others can agree with me that this shit you pull on a regular basis is unacceptable.I may have made a couple mistakes on my end, but the fact that you take advantage of them the way you do only proves my point. This has been going on for three years, Will. THREE YEARS. You never learn, no matter how many times you say you have. What you did was inexcusable, unforgivable, and most importantly, irredeemable. even when I made stupid mistakes on my own, I at least grew up and acknowledged them and how it was entirely my fault, and worked towards improving myself. I don’t see you doing that, not even a little bit.

You’ve blown all your chances. Forgiveness and redemption have long passed. I don’t care if you’re scared of what your parents will say when you tell them all this, whatever reaction they may have is perfectly rational and well-deserved. Seek therapy. Get some serious help, get a life, and for the love of god, please stop plaguing mine.

You brought all this upon yourself. I would say don’t make yourself look any worse, but you’ve already long past that threshold. You are the worst of the worst. I bet you won’t even bother to read this because you have your head so far up your ass you can’t accept the reality and consequences of your sins.

This is all I have to say to you, and nothing more. Take it personally. I don’t care if it hurts you feelings. You hurt me worse than any reality check ever could.

#and to everyone else who follows my blog; ladies and gentlemen; here he is: the truly unruly ass that just won't quit #i think (and hope) you can all see just how much of a disgusting creep he actually is #annoyingdestinybasement #caffrin answers

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cuteandtwisted · 7 years ago

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reasons why Evak's shippers are fetishizer:1) you'll starting watch Skam after the cuddle scene. 2) writing Henjei fics. 3) were upset for the false rumors of Targei leaving back in March only because you won't get your gay nut. 4) the birthday video was fanservice and disgrace for the LGBT community. 5) only care about the sex part in the hotel scene and not what really important. (1/2)

6) the reason Tareji didn’t win his gullruten for his acting is because it’s wasn’t horny teenage girls with gay fetish who voted, thanks god. 7) even Mari said that all you wanna see is Isak and Even make out8) you make Henrik and Tarjei uncomfortable till the point they can’t interact with each other. 9) you never use season 1+2 isaks gifts, only season 3+4 (2/2). Mic drop.

Hello anon. I heard you’ve been copying/pasting the same message on a number of blogs/ccs, and I’ve been told to leave it alone because you probably just want a reaction out of it. But your 6th point bothered me a little bit so I thought I would answer. I’m not sure why you’re spending so much effort trying to make a claim anonymously, but Isak/Even are too precious for me to just brush off your accusations.

1. I personally started watching Skam while S2 was airing so that’s a fail on your part. S2 spoke to me because it dealt with the reality of sexual assault and how utterly devastating such events can be. How isolation can eat at you and turn you into someone you’re not, making you turn your back on exactly everyone you know, but mostly yourself. How love can turn you into someone you don’t even recognize. S2 wasn’t important to many in the evak fandom, but it was important to me. So alright.Many started watching after the cuddle scene because they had never seen love between two boys being portrayed so innocently and in such a raw manner. It was poignant. It was beautiful. It was butterflies inducing. There was nothing sexual about it. Just two boys with a crush lying on a bed, smoking joints, and talking about parallel universes while brushing each other’s hair. So I don’t know why you’re trying to shame people who started watching because of that.Other people started watching because of representation. I personally had never seen a Moroccan girl portrayed in a tv show before and Sana’s character was a gift to me. Other people were drawn to the show because it tackled bipolar and stigma against mental illness. Because it talked about oppression and privilege and eating disorders and depression and the need to feel like you belong somewhere. Because it tackled issues and mundane things we go through every day and that anyone can relate to without glorifying them or turning them into a cliche. The show rang true with so many. So so many. But go ahead and tell me that it’s because of “our gay nut”.

2. ? Some people wrote a few RPF fics. It’s fiction. You don’t have to read it. And while I’m not a fan myself, I don’t like the idea of shaming some people for their thoughts as long as they don’t harass people in real life and post shameful stuff on their instagrams and bother their friends and family.

3. His name is Tarjei. I personally never believed those rumors because I knew Isak meant too much to him and also because people love to spread rumors when there isn’t much to do. Back then, people had this thing against Tarjei because he wasn’t as close to the fans as other cast members, so rumors flew left and right. Still. If people were upset at the idea of him leaving, it was because Isak was their favorite character, because he resonated with them, because his struggle was real and raw and haunting. Not because of “our gay nut”. But go ahead.

4. Please explain how showing a HAPPY gay couple is a disgrace to the LGBT community, because I think you just lost me here? How is a wonderful boy making his wonderful boyfriend a birthday video with footage from their every day life a disgrace? Do LGBT people not deserve a shot at happy representation? Does everything happy have to be labeled as fanservice? Do we need to live in constant angst and pain? I don’t get it.

5. You lost me here once again. I don’t think ANYONE only cares about the “sex part” in the hotel scene. Fun fact, I couldn’t even rewatch that clip because it was so haunting and powerful and incredibly executed. I had chills and I couldn’t stop crying because that’s how incredibly poignant it was. I had to go take a walk. I couldn’t function for a while. There was nothing but heartbreak and outrage after that clip. The reveal was so heavy although expected, and our hearts bled that night. No one was “nutting” to the hotel scene. Everybody was literally shaken to their core, worried about what would happen. Worried about Even. Worried about Isak. Everybody was worried. That clip was a masterpiece and to have you turn it into this is a bit hurtful. Not to mention that the “sex part”, as you put it, was just so beautiful and touching. Even simply wanted Isak’s first time to be perfect. I don’t see why YOU have to fetishize that.

6. The point that upset me. You’re implying that Tarjei* didn’t deserve a gullruten. Tarjei, the 17 year old boy who got the award show to lower the minimum age just to be able to nominate him. Tarjei, the 17 year old who portrayed the inner struggles of a boy so repressed and so isolated and so so harsh on himself, a boy who wanted nothing but to be loved and feel important and safe, a boy who led the loneliest life before allowing himself to feel and love and accept himself. You’re implying that Tarjei – who gave a performance that touched the hearts of so many and who poured his heart and soul into every line and every scene and every blink while attending school and keeping his private life private and staying humble – didn’t deserve a gullruten. You’re “thanking god” that he didn’t win. You’re reducing his performance and Isak’s entire story to “a gay nut”. You’re reducing Isak’s entire arc and journey of self-acceptance and of falling in love with Even who challenged him to his core and made him see just how wrong he was about mental illness and about the world to “a gay nut”. Okay.

7. Yes, we want to see our favorite couple who’s gone through so much just be happy and hold hands and make out and smile and laugh and be happy. Mari does, too. She was mostly there with them when they made the fanvideo. She released the unused pictures. She loves Isak and Even just as much as we do. Your point? I seem to have missed it again.

8. Henrik and Tarjei are fine. They have nothing but good things to say about each other and they did an incredible job portraying Isak and Even. They spent months filming that fanvideo for Isak and Even and for the fans to whom they’re very thankful. You don’t know how they interact in real life. You don’t know a single thing about them and we don’t either. Stop spreading groundless rumors.

9. Again. Wrong. We love S1!Isak and we use gifs* from that era all the time. Not sure what you’re referring to here.

10. *Picks up your mic* *Drops it again.*

I don’t usually respond to hate and propaganda because I don’t see the point. But many people outside this fandom love to point fingers and label us as fetishizers when all most of us do is literally cry at the beauty of their story. Their story has touched us so deeply that we can’t move on even after all this time. It was just so raw and pure and painful, but so so worth it. Many of us didn’t even believe in the idea of ‘love’ before their story, in the idea of self-love and of finding someone who would just accept you for who you are and turn you into a better person and make you want to live your best life. Many of us didn’t have that and you have no right to reduce all of our feelings to “a gay nut”. I don’t know what you get out of this but why would you want to rob people of something that brings them so much joy and hope?

Alt er love. 💛💛

#skam #isak x even #seriously #enough #rant #sorry i had to #implying that tarjei didnt deserve an award??????#tarjei sandvik moe

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littledragonlily · 7 years ago

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TMI: Oversharing

((Trigger warning: mentions of self harm, r@pe, abuse, drugs, alcohol, suicide, body dysmorphia, mental illness, ...um, a lot, actually, so please please think about this before reading ahead. My life's a mess tbh. Will put an * (or many, if bad bad) by the numbers of anything with potentially bad triggers just in case..)) Credit to one of my mutuals, after reading their oversharing post, I felt like writing my own might actually be cathartic for me, so thank you mutual (no name callout because they may not be comfortable with that). 1. I actually have zero idea about who I am when I'm on my own. I've felt this way for years and only recently has it been recognized/taken seriously. 2. My father and three siblings are all on the autism spectrum in varying degrees. The question hangs if I am too, I show similar signs, but I don't care enough to find out. 3. I cycle through obsessive behaviors. Collecting things, couponing, certain games; luckily it has never landed on an unhealthy addiction so far, but it scares me that it might. 4*. I have been self destructive for 7+ years. (For clarification, I'm 21 going on 22 currently.) My arm is white lines and long story short, I cannot wear shorts above my knees anytime soon, or anything less than a one-piece bathing suit to cover my torso. 5*. My arms are healed because I was relentlessly picked on by an abusive ex and my own father when I wore it on my sleeves, so to speak.. I hide it now. My dad still doesn't know I started doing it again and I plan on keeping it that way. 6****. Callout to my ex I mentioned above. Because of him, I get ptsd episodes if I'm under the water even a second too long, forbid I'm being held down even playfully. He took whatever he wanted, including my current peace of mind in relationships. I've been trying to escape the damage he caused for 5 years. 7****. Callout to friends/another ex I trusted that would not take no for an answer, especially the one that took me as I cried for him to stop. 8*. By all normative standards, I'm wickedly smart. I had the military branches beating down my door from my perfect aptitude test scores (no studying, mind you, I wing tests), and if not for mental issues stealing my motivation to try, I could've been in my top ten graduating from high school easily. However..no one wants to take a damaged "genius" so..yeah. 9. I have so so so many ideas of what I want to do with my life, but I'm viciously afraid of stepping foot outside of my not-so-comfy-but-good-enough bubble. 10*. I am professionally diagnosed with major depressive disorder, general anxiety disorder, and dependent personality disorder. That list may grow when I actually trust the psychiatrist enough to tell them Everything™. 11. If I don't push myself to hang out with my friends/favorite people, and it has to be because THEY want ME, I will quite literally spend all day in my bed during my time off. Even finding the motivation to clean my room and pay my bills (spoiler, I usually don't) is just..improbable. 12*. I have two, count them one-two, people that are even close to knowing Everything™ about me. (Unfortunate spoiler: they've both done things that they sometimes use against each other to make me question my faith in them.) I love them both, which causes me immense guilt because they both want to keep me Forever™ (also know to me as until they get tired of my..Me-ness.) and right now I'm just wondering how long of Forever™ I'll actually be alive for. 13. Speaking of immense guilt, hi, it's because I've hurt mentioned people both more than they admit to. I didn't mean to I'm sorry I really didn't just I just how do you not depend on someone that you were engaged to but also how do you not depend on someone that actually gets you and is your carer and you actually get along with everyone in their system and ahhhh fjdjfhdjrbd I'm sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry.. 14. Sorry, sorry.. I'm back. Kinda? Anyway.. I feel like a split person, kinda. I have different aspects of myself that handle different things and I have names for them, but I would NOT call myself a system at this point, I would just say I am compartmentalizing and personifying certain aspects of my personality. It just feels easier, yeah? I try to stick to the ones people love best (Mama(carer)-me, Lily(regressed)-me, and Belle(work)-me). My carer is the only person "acquainted" with all of Me™ by name. 15. I only always get along with one person in my house, which is my little sister, Hannah. She has a degenerative disorder and has her own special way of communicating. But as far as I can tell, I'm one of her favorite people, and that makes me super happy actually. 16. So I got derailed on number 13 because that's such a touchy subject. Mostly because I'm forced to choose between the two of them because of societal norms/their feelings/some other reasons here, and in my head and heart I'm so dependent on them both it hurts. (Lately, however, I've been more dependent on my carer.) 17****. Possible reasons I shouldn't be dependent on ex-fiancé person: Has hit me in a "black-out rage" previously (isolated, non-recurring, however I have my days of questioning would I trigger that again..), can be incredibly argumentative if my word choice is incorrect expressing my issues (bad to the point it has triggered me to self-harm), and has forced my indecisive self into making a decision in the midst of a six-hour crying/panicked episode. Also can be neglectful as a person to depend on at times, a little more self-centered than he realizes most of the time, etc. 18****. Possible reasons I shouldn't be dependent on my carer person: Lack of respect towards a previous relationship with ex-fiancé ((as in..well.. some unloyal behavior happened while I was drunk/high/sometimes sober and it actually makes me sick that I let that happen.. I disrespected my own relationship oh god I'm horrible I never wanted to be that person I didn't mean to I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry..)(okay, okay, calmed down..)), one of his alters is notoriously angry/violent however has recently been more gentle with me after some talks about the fact that anger/arguments/violence/yelling trigger my anxiety badly (I'm a sensitive marshmallow puff y'all, sorry..), I WILL NOT HOLD HIS PAST AGAINST HIM but it sometimes gets in my head a little so I try to talk it out when it does, he does have a bit of dependence on Mary Jane (think green, not a lady) but I don't mind this so much because it's better than alcohol (I helped with that! I helped! Yay!), and there are some times when he doesn't word things well and it'll get to me but I don't see this being intentional honestly. 19*. My past trauma makes me hypersexual, and sometimes I'm incredibly disgusted with myself for being that way. Thankfully though, my regressed self is "too small" for those things and my carer does not fetishize my regressed self, so thankful for that. It is that that caused my initial confusion because I didn't understand that some communities were fetish.. ugh.. 20****. In the past year I have cycled through drinking, smoking, and pills as a short-term "dependence" (I put that in quotes because I feel as if it had been serious I would not have been able to step away so easily). Each one I have quit (drinking is social, and never anywhere near as heavy as it used to be). I occasionally smoke Mary Jane now as it is more effective than my Prozac I'm currently prescribed (will get changed soon, I hope). 21. Physically I have some liver/kidney damage (my fault), scalp psoriasis, chronic acid reflux, chronic pain (fibromyalgia), anemia, cold and hot sensitivity, spleen damage (I'm Epstein-Barr sensitive, aka unfortunately susceptible to mono), and something I don't have a name for that makes me get incredibly weak if I don't have a steady intake of sugar during the day.. (any ideas?) 22. I have a SEVERE phobia of vomit. I can handle the word, stories are iffy, but seeing/smelling/hearing it will trigger a panic attack and when i do it (which is thankfully only once every few years so far) it is incredibly painful and I will NOT eat for days. I will be absolutely food repulsed. I doubt anyone would post anything visual, but if you do and you're reading this, PLEASE I'm begging you, post a warning for me. I'll be eternally thankful. 23. Something lighthearted for once: I will not see a superhero/comic book/Nerdy™ movie that I can't go see without my dad. It's just super important to me. 24****. I hate my appearance while simultaneously being incredibly vain about it (do I make sense? No? Ok). I have dysmorphia, because I swear by a few things (I'm always too big, my skin is always bad, etc etc.) If it were not for my conditions (phobia of vomit, not being able to function without sugar), I'd most likely have an eating disorder. Instead I am in a state of limbo where I hate my body but I won't do anything negative to impact my body image. (Yay?) 25. You now know more about me than most people I know in real life, including my parents and family. Sorry it's so much, thanks for sticking around.

#tw self harm #tw depressive #tw body dysmorphia #tw abuse #tw rape #tw suicude #trigger warning #so this is probably way tmi #helped a little tho tbh #Tinana speaks

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isolavirtuosa · 8 years ago

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Post-Post Traumatic: 10 Years Later, Happily Ever After 9-10

Post-Post Traumatic [fanfiction] NaruSasu (in progress)

A series of “drabbles” following the events of Post Traumatic.

Previous Parts

10 Years Later, Happily Ever After

Parts 1-2

Parts 3-4

Parts 5-6

Parts 7-8

Parts 9-10 under the cut (part 9 is pointless pornography written to cheer myself up... apologies...)

This is the end of this story!! One more drabble that isn’t quite finished, and then Post-Post Traumatic will be complete!!!!!!

- 9 -

The hotel room was quiet. The previous night, we’d had the littlest ones all running around and jumping on the beds.

Now it was just us.

“So, are you going to pass out?” I asked, watching Naruto flop onto the bed.

“No!” he said, even though he sounded exhausted.

“I’m going to brush my teeth,” I said, ducking into the bathroom.

I was halfway done when Naruto dragged himself in, leaning on my shoulders heavily.

“Drink more water,” I scolded him.

“Yeah,” he said, kissing my neck. “Where’s my toothbrush?”

I handed it to him.

We brushed and flossed, and I washed my face.

“When’re you gonna undress?” Naruto hummed into my ear.

“I figured I’d just sleep in my clothes tonight.”

“You are such a goddamn tease,” he growled, pulling my backside flush against him. “Wearing those all night. How am I supposed to concentrate?”

“Wearing what?” I said, shifting away from him and going back into the room. “Do you think Kanon will be okay without her bear?” I added, picking up the stuffed animal from her bed.

Naruto made a clone and had him take the bear. He leapt out the window and disappeared. “Enough distractions. I wanna see.”

“Too bad you can’t always get what you want.”

“Sasuke!” Naruto cried, pouncing on me.

I let him pin me to the bed.

He stared down at me, his breathing erratic. His fingers fumbled at the button of my pants, undoing it after a few failed attempts, and then easing the zipper down. His breath caught, the look in his eyes reverent. “Fuck. I can’t believe you really wore them.”

“I said I would, didn’t I?” I said, looking away from him and not blushing. My stupid partner had some really stupid fetishes.

“Yeah, but you always try and weasel your way out of it,” Naruto said, trying to shimmy my pants down.

I lifted my hips, and he pulled them partway down before getting distracted, gaping at me. “Enough,” I said, kicking my legs a little.

Naruto shook his head, breaking the trance. He tugged my pants off and tossed them on the floor. “You are incredible, Sasuke.”

“Because I wore a pair of stupid lacey underwear?”

“They are not stupid, and yes. Yes, exactly. You look… yes. I like this. I like this very much.”

“At least someone is enjoying himself,” I said, still not looking at him.

“I think you’re starting to enjoy it,” Naruto hummed, rubbing his nose against the lace. “Oh my god, this is so… yes.”

I ran my fingers through his hair, getting a grip. Naruto was breathing heavily, and I could feel his hot breath on my skin through the little perforations in the lace. There was a little twitch.

He started mouthing along the outline.

My fingers tightened in his hair. “You’re getting them wet.”

“That’s okay,” he said, licking up the front.

I shivered involuntarily.

“I wanna see them soaked,” he said, opening wide and continuing to mouth his way up.

I rolled my eyes, even as goosebumps rose up on my arms. “No dirty talk.” He was awful at it. Except when he wasn’t.

“You love it,” he murmured into the lace.

“I love you,” I said, feeling stupidly sentimental.

I could feel him smile, a little puff of air escaping his nose. “I love you, too, Sasuke.” He slithered up my body to steal a quick kiss. “Thank you for this nice present.”

“Dummy.”

He looked at me.

I kissed his nose, then directed him back where I wanted him.

“So gorgeous,” he murmured, rubbing the lace with his palm.

My hips rocked in response.

Naruto’s lips parted in a pant. He started moving his hand rhythmically.

The lace felt rough against my sensitive skin, and it made my eyes glaze over.

“Fucking gorgeous,” he repeated, pulling at the elastic, reaching in.

I closed my eyes, digging my fingers into the mattess. My back arched, my breath building into a crescendo until all I could do was cry out.

Naruto wanted to kiss afterwards, and I let him because I was feeling hazy and relaxed. “This is nice,” he said, licking my nose.

I hummed in response, running my fingers lazily under his shirt. “You should get naked,” I finally said.

“Oh, did you want to feast your eyes on my manly body?” he asked, sitting up and peeling off his shirt.

“No talking,” I admonished him, reaching out a hand to touch his abs. He really did have a fantastic body. It kind of pissed me off, to be honest. Naruto got to spend years training, while I was battling drug and alcohol addiction, an eating disorder, and a variety of other mental problems. I’d gotten into shape and was all solid muscle mass now, but I’d never be as perfectly crafted as him.

At least I could still kick his ass.

Naruto looked down at my hand, watching it trace the edges of his six-pack. “I wish I didn’t drink so much…”

I hooked a finger in the waist of his pants and tugged them down. “You’re not interested in me?”

“Of course I’m interested,” he whined, helping me work his pants to his knees. He stretched out his legs and kicked them off the rest of the way.

I sat up, wrapping my arms around him. “You don’t seem very interested.”

“I told you, I drank too much!” he said, catching my face in his hands. “There’s a lil’ somethin’ goin’ on though…” he added, pressing his mostly soft member into mine and rocking lightly.

“Very little,” I said, giving him an unimpressed look.

“I wanna cum inside you so bad right now,” he murmured.

“What are you saying?” I muttered, pushing his face away from me.

“Sorry,” he said quickly, resting his hands on my hips and fingering the lace. “I really shouldn’t have drank so much, but…”

I kissed his shoulder, then his neck.

Naruto’s hand went to the back of my head, fingers digging into my hair as he made a satisfied little growl. His other hand went down to my ass, gripping tightly.

I pushed him flat on his back. We settled into languid, open-mouthed kisses while our hips moved together slowly.

That went on for a while, until Naruto started pushing the lace aside and pressing his finger inside. From the first pressure, he immediately got more aggressive.

“I want you on your hands and knees,” he growled, the kyuubi rumbling through his voice.

“You’re gonna have to work for it,” I said, staring him down.

A hand traced up the column of my throat. “No, I don’t.”

“Wow, you quit your job and in less than a day you already have your balls back?”

“I never lost them,” he said, giving me a challenging look.

“Ha,” I said, but I could feel his hand still pressed to my throat. A warning.

Naruto would never hurt me without my permission.

I always gave permission.

He regarded me with red eyes. The line between Naruto and Kurama was almost nonexistent. It didn’t really matter, though. The kyuubi was a part of Naruto that made him who he was.

I trapped his arms over his head, watching.

He clearly didn’t want to be under me anymore, but he was biding his time.

I licked the corner of his mouth.

He growled and nipped at my tongue.

It was all a well-choreographed dance. The steps were more or less the same as always, though this was probably the most interesting sexual encounter we’d had in months. Maiko told me that she preferred reading Hinata’s trashy novels to hearing about my actual sex life. Naruto and I tended to be mutual blowjobs and missionary position types, rather than fucking in enemy lairs and shadow clone multiple anal penetration types.

Also, the one time we tried the clone thing, it just ended with all of them arguing about who got to do what, and not even noticing when I left the room annoyed.

After that, we stuck to our nice, boring kinks, until Naruto became a zombie, and then I just took anything I could get.

Now here he was, finally free from the shackles of Konoha. I looked into his eyes and I saw the faintest spark of the fire that used to burn there. I also saw worry and fear.

“Hey,” I said, letting go of his wrists so I could touch his face.

“Hm?” he said, happy to have his hands back so he could grope me.

I framed his face in my hands. “Why are you thinking about anything besides me right now?”

“You are such a cocky bastard…”

“I mean it, love. Stop thinking about useless-” I found myself on my back.

“As you wish,” he said. But he was still thinking.

“I’m proud of you,” I offered quietly, staring up into red-tinged blue eyes.

“For running away?”

“For moving forward.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“You never do.”

“That doesn’t reassure me.”

“I believe in you.”

“Why are you being so nice and supportive?” he asked suspiciously.

I soured. “Can’t I be fucking supportive of my partner because I love him?”

“No,” Naruto said. “That doesn’t sound like you at all.”

This was why I didn’t bother. But I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

Naruto’s expression softened when I didn’t rip his head off. “I’m sorry. Thank you. If you’re actually being serious, then your words mean a lot to me.”

“’If’?” I repeated, my eye twitching.

He smiled sheepishly. “Because you’re serious, your words mean a lot to me,” he corrected himself.

I sniffed disdainfully.

“Don’t be like that, sweetie,” he said, nuzzling my cheek with his nose. “I’m sorry. You’ve been so nice to me lately. I’m just not used to it.”

“Well don’t get used to it.”

“Nooo, Sasuke, c’mon, don’t say that.”

“Can we continue all ready?” I asked, rubbing my leg between his. “Before you completely ruin the mood?”

“There’s the nasty Sasuke I know and love.”

“Oh. My. God.”

“Whaaat?”

“Usuratonkachi.”

Naruto laughed and cradled my cheek in his hand like it was the most precious thing in the world. “Haven’t heard that one in a while.”

“Drinking decreases your IQ.”

“Can’t really argue with that,” he said. “Man, did me and Gaara really try to explode everyone’s drinks? It seemed like such a great idea at the time.”

I decided that we were good, and kissed him so we could move on and have further intercourse before he fell asleep on me.

Naruto seemed amenable to the idea. With a little maneuvering he had me on my hands and knees. Then he seemed to stop.

“Could you do more than just look?” I complained, turning back to glare at him.

Naruto looked mesmerized.

“For fuck’s sake.”

He blinked, casting his eyes over to my face. “Huh?”

“Less looking, more touching,” I commanded. “And tonguing.”

He gave me a very devious grin and hooked the edge of my underwear with his thumb, pulling it inside while simultaneously opening me up with both thumbs.

I dropped my forehead to the mattress, chewing on my bottom lip while he worked his tongue around me. I relaxed and just felt good for a while.

“You okay, Sas’?” Naruto paused, checking in.

I approximated a nod, my whole body jello.

He rubbed up and down my back with the back of his hand, knuckles dragging against the notches in my spine. “Want me to keep going?”

I gave another lazy nod.

Naruto delved back in.

I rubbed my cheek against the sheets, eyes half-closed.

He stopped abruptly.

I turned to frown at him.

“Look, I’m completely hard!” he said, gesturing proudly.

“Congratulations,” I said. “Idiot,” I added for good measure.

Naruto pouted.

“Were you going to do something with that, or is it just for display?”

“Oh,” he said, perking up. “Well, I dunno, you seemed to be enjoying yourself. Did you want to keep going, or did you want the full Uzumaki?!”

I dropped my forehead back to the mattress. “Please stop calling your penis the full Uzumaki.”

“What?! Come on, it’s funny!”

“Hilarious. I just can’t stop laughing. I think I’ll go jerk off in the shower now.”

“Noooo!”

I looked back at him, trying to glare and not smile at my idiot of a partner.

“You want to laugh,” he said, grinning at me.

“I want to fuck.”

He bit his lip at that. “Yeah?”

I raised my hips higher and stared at him, waiting.

From the look he was giving me, I had the feeling it wouldn’t be lasting very long.

The lace slid down to the top of my thighs and I felt the first brush, then a push. He leaned his whole body over mine, wrapping one arm across my chest and holding me as he started to move.

I kept myself braced on my right arm as I moved my left hand.

Naruto was his usual noisy self, filling the air with ‘I love you’s, grunts, cries, and odes to lace panties. He finished with a sharp jerk, hot and sticky inside of me.

His hand found mine, waiting for my answering cry.

I sank into the mattress, feeling satisfied.

Naruto followed me, nudging my nose with his.

I looked into his eyes and smiled, nosing back.

Naruto shifted to nuzzle my cheeks. His nose grazed mine again, then nuzzled at my forehead.

I caught my fingers in his hair, feeling content.

“Let’s go wash up,” he said, giving me a last solid nuzzle before sitting up and slapping my bare ass.

I eyed him.

He grinned.

I shifted, peeling off the underwear and throwing it at his head.

He let them hit him in the face, grinning even wider.

“Go warm the shower up,” I said.

“Yessir,” he said, going off to the bathroom with a spring in his step.

I blinked. “You’re not going to pass out now?”

“Nope!” he said. The shower started running and I could hear Naruto gargling.

I got up, eyeing the sticky mess on the bed. I made a face, pulling the sheet off and dumping it on the floor. I walked over to the bathroom.

Naruto was brushing his teeth again.

I put my arms around his waist, resting my chin on his shoulder.

He flashed me a grin in the mirror.

“You seem different,” I said.

“More virile?” he suggested.

“Actually, kind of, yeah,” I agreed.

He gave me a kiss on the cheek, leaving a trail of toothpaste.

I made a face and wiped it off.

“Shower looks nice and steamy,” he said.

“Mm,” I agreed, pulling away and giving him a smack on the ass.

He started, spine going straight.

I pulled back the curtain and stepped over the tub to get into the shower. “Coming?” I asked.

He nodded, quickly spitting into the sink and rinsing his toothbrush.

I held my hand out to him, and he took it.

It felt like a new beginning.

- 10 -

I woke up feeling like I was on fire.

“Naruto,” I muttered, trying to shake him awake. He was curled up into my chest, his arm around my waist like a vise. He’d had nightmares during the night and couldn’t fall back asleep until I’d coddled him. Unfortunately it was summer, and it was too fucking hot to be that close.

“Sleepy,” came his response as he tightened his grip.

“Babe, come on,” I said, giving him a stronger shake. “Even I’m awake. It’s time to get up.”

“But I’m sad.”

I sighed, petting his head. “I know,” I said, thinking back to a few hours earlier when he’d been crying ‘Jiraiya’ into my arms. “I know.”

“I feel dumb,” he mumbled into my chest.

“Well,” I said.

“Watch it.”

I tilted up his chin and gave him a chaste good morning kiss. “I think it’s normal to be thinking about your teacher when you’re about to go on your first training trip with your own apprentice.”

“That sounds like some Maiko psychobabble,” Naruto said, poking my face with his nose.

“Obviously.”

He tucked his head back under my chin.

“It’s too damn hot,” I complained, trying to push him away.

“Are you gonna be okay while I’m gone?” he asked, ignoring me.

“Uh, yeah.”

“I’m worried about this thing between you and Kuromoto Akio.”

“I can handle a mad scientist.”

“He wants your eyes.”

“Well I want his head on a platter, so…”

“That’s kind of disgusting.”

“All he has is his little clone army, Naruto, the man isn’t coming anywhere near me if he knows what’s good for him.”

“He’s pissed that you found his lab.”

“And he can keep being pissed when I find his new lab and blow that one up, too.”

“See, I don’t want you making him angrier right now when I’m not here to protect you.”

“When have I ever needed your protection?”

“I’m sure I could come up with an example if I had more time.”

I scoffed at him.

“I could! But that doesn’t matter! The point is, I am going to be away for six months training with Sora, and I don’t want to have to be constantly worried about you.”

“Then don’t be.”

“This from the guy who’s always jumping in front of attacks meant for me.”

“My body just moves on its own.”

He laughed at that, pressing a kiss to the bottom of my chin. “I know that you are one of the most powerful ninjas alive, I just can’t help but worry irrationally about you. Especially when you’re purposely picking fights. You’re a cocky bastard with no fear.”

“How is that a bad thing?”

“Hey, remember the time that Root guy poisoned you?”

“No.”

“Whaddya mean, ‘no’? You were pretty much dead!”

“Okay then.”

“You make me significantly less attracted to you when you act like a turd.”

“Good, because it’s just going to be you and your hand for the next six months.”

Naruto sputtered at that.

I gave his hand a pacifying squeeze. “You know that you don’t have to worry about me. About anything. So just go and do what you need to do.”

“Maybe I’m saying that I’m worried about you because I’m actually worried about myself and being a horrible teacher,” he said glumly.

“That makes sense,” I agreed.

He made puppy dog eyes at me.

“I know you and Sora haven’t really hit it off, but that’s why you’re going on this trip, right?” I said, pressing closer. I’d gotten to the point that I was so hot and sweaty that I no longer cared about being near the furnace that was Naruto.

He clung to me like a child. It was just so endearing yet simultaneously annoying.

“Where are the brats, anyway?” I asked, suddenly suspicious.

“Do you really not remember what today is?” he asked, perking up.

“Huh?” I said.

“Happy birthday,” he said, giving me a squeeze.

“Oh, shit, I forgot.”

He laughed at that. “I know you want to forget, ’cause you’re basically forty and all.”

“You keep saying that every year, and yet I’m still not forty,” I said, nudging him.

“If you round up, thirty-eight is definitely forty.”

“If you round up, then so is thirty-seven, dumbass.”

“I’m not as old as you!”

“And yet you look ten years older, how unfortunate…”

Naruto sputtered for a while, then forced me into a cuddle. “I was s’posed ta get up early and get the surprise ready.”

“Then get up, it’s hot,” I said, trying to extract myself from his persistent hold.

Naruto made a clone and sent him off. “Okay, now we can relax.”

“Who’s here?” I asked, feeling the ebb and flow of someone else in the house.

“Don’t worry about that!” he said, trying to distract me by flailing around and making me hotter.

“Is that my surprise?” I asked, trying to distinguish the chakra signatures from everyone else’s.

“Ya know, I’m leaving in a week,” Naruto said. “Don’t you want to make every moment count?”

“Yes, so I want to annoy you by ruining your surprise,” I said, giving him a kiss. “Oh, yes, keep making that expression, it’s the best send off.”

Naruto’s brow was creased in annoyance.

I gave him another kiss to make him smile, hand trailing down his hip. “Wait, what’s this?” I asked, pausing and tracing the outline of his underwear around the top of his leg. “When the hell did you put these on?” I asked, laughing.

“A ninja never reveals his secrets,” Naruto said.

“You teach people your techniques all the time…”

“But not my change-your-underwear-in-the-middle-of-the-night techniques.”

“You are so dumb,” I said, still laughing. “Why would you even…?”

“’Cause it’s damn sexy,” he said, shimmying down his sleep shorts.

I rested my hand on the lacey panties and just kept laughing.

Naruto looked ridiculously pleased with himself.

Our mouths met without a thought.

“Your breath is terrible,” Naruto murmured, but kept kissing me.

“Yours is worse,” I retorted, but kept kissing him.

He really did look damn sexy in those panties, not that I would ever vindicate his ridiculous fetishes.

Things were progressing despite the morning breath problem, when Naruto’s body gave a shudder indicating that his clone had returned to him.

“Okay, birthday boy,” he said, making himself decent. “Time to start the day!”

I let him lead me down the stairs, where all the rugrats were waiting at the bottom. They held up a banner that read, ‘Happy Almost-Fortieth Birthday!’

I elbowed Naruto in the side.

He grinned.

“You don’t look forty,” said Aiko, our latest addition. She gave me a bright, gap-toothed smile.

“Because I’m not,” I said.

She looked momentarily confused, then nodded like she understood.

“Uncle Sasuke, Uncle Sasuke!”

I’d known that she was hiding behind the couch, but seeing Tsubaki pop out, long blonde hair everywhere and blue eyes sparkling, made my chest feel a little tighter.

“Happy birthday!” she said, jumping up into my arms. She covered my cheeks in kisses.

“We were supposed to jump out together,” Yurina complained, coming out from behind the couch.

Tsubaki flashed her sister a smug look and kept her arms locked around my neck.

I kept one arm around her back and held the other out to Yurina.

Yurina for her part understood that Uchiha hugs were rarely offered. She quickly forgot her annoyance with her sister to scramble over to my side and wrap her arms around my waist. “Happy birthday, Uncle Sasuke,” she said in her solemn way.

“Mari and Sanma made breakfast,” Naruto said, wrapping all three of us in a brief hug.

“It’s almost lunchtime,” Yurina pointed out.

“Don’t worry about that,” Naruto said, pushing her towards the kitchen.

We all squeezed around the kitchen table, the kids chattering up a storm.

“Happy birthday, Sasuke,” Ino said, coming up behind me and ruffling my hair.

I glowered at her.

She just smiled, tucking a lily behind my ear.

“What are you doing?” I muttered, shaking my head.

“Don’t you miss working at the flower shop?”

“No,” I said flatly. I got up and put the flower in some water.

“I help mom with arranging now,” Yurina said, looking pleased with herself.

“She won’t let me help at all,” Tsubaki stage whispered to me, her chair pulled up next to mine as she invaded my personal space.

Naruto and Sora stood in the doorway, disagreeing about something like usual.

I wasn’t worried. I knew that the Naruto charm would eventually seep in and Sora would grow to respect him as his teacher. Of course it was once again me, and Naruto’s association with me, that had started the problem.

I didn’t let it bother me. Naruto had done everything he had wanted with his life without being held back by me. I wasn’t a hindrance to him. He wasn’t a hindrance to me. What more could we possibly want?

“If it’s my birthday, can I at least smoke my morning cigarette at the table?”

Everyone started yelling at me.

I scowled at them.

Only Aiko flinched, while everyone else carried on with their anti-smoking propaganda.

I was definitely losing my touch.

But maybe it didn’t matter anymore.

Yurina and Tsubaki ended up staying for the rest of their summer vacation, and were there to say goodbye when Naruto and Sora left.

I had meant to just watch them go, but Naruto had to make a scene. He swept me into his arms, declared his undying love, and planted a messy smooch on my mouth.

“Hurry up and go,” I said, pushing him away.

I got puppy eyes from Naruto and some boos from our audience.

“Be safe, idiot,” I muttered, pulling him in close by the front of his shirt.

“Yeah, of course,” he said, still giving me puppy eyes.

“We’ll be waiting for you,” I said, bumping our foreheads together before letting go.

“You two are always going your separate ways,” Mari observed as we watched them disappear over the horizon.

“It’s the only way we don’t drown one another.”

Mari paused. “Do you mean that literally or figuratively…?”

“Sadly, both,” I said with a sigh.

Mari shook her head, sliding an arm around my waist and leaning her head on my shoulder.

When they were definitely gone, the feel of Naruto’s chakra no longer dancing over my skin, I got up. “Have any messenger birds come in today?”

“No,” Mari said, standing up with me.

“Karin should have checked in by now,” I muttered. “Can you get a bird ready to send to Water?”

“Of course,” she said, bounding off to do so. Mari had gotten a little less sarcastic and a little kinder since Ao had left for Kumo. Me letting her into the family business probably helped. She would never be a ninja, but I trusted her completely, and that was all I really needed from an assistant.

Jugo and the rest of the kids were walking (or skipping or running) back from accompanying Naruto and Sora off.

“I think we’ll go on a nature walk this afternoon,” he informed me.

“Did you want to go after lunch or bring food with you?” I asked.

“Picnic!” Riki said, looking excited.

“Yeah, picnic!” Aiko agreed.

I looked over the ranks of kids. Only Sanma, Aiko, and Riki, with the temporary addition of Yurina and Tsubaki. There seemed to be fewer and fewer orphans for Naruto to randomly find lately. It made the house quieter, but I couldn’t complain. I also had the feeling that Naruto would be returning from a six month trip with at least a couple of kids in tow.

“Are you coming, Uncle Sasuke?” Tsubaki asked with her sparkling eyes.

“I have some work to deal with.”

“Just for a little while,” she begged, hanging on my arm.

I could say no to her, but I found I didn’t want to. “Come help me make everyone’s lunchbox.”

Tsubaki laced her fingers in mine, and then there was a fight over my other hand. It was just so bizarre. I was someone who people lusted after, sure, but I wasn’t someone who people loved, especially not children, who tended to find me terrifying.

It was a new identity. Someone who could love and be loved.

“You’re in the way,” I growled at Riki as I tried to open the fridge.

He just laughed at me, making blocking the fridge a game.

I picked him up and tossed him over my shoulder.

The girls all started shrieking, “Me, next! Me, next!” while Riki lavished in his upside down position.

I opened the fridge, trying to remember what I’d even needed.

Aiko, who still wasn’t quite sure of me, pushed the fridge door closed.

I stared at her.

She swallowed.

I picked her up and threw her over my other shoulder.

She squealed with delight.

“How am I supposed to get any work done?” I muttered. I went to open the fridge again, despite being weighted down by the two brats on my shoulders.

Tsubaki and Yurina caught my arms, hanging on tight and laughing hysterically in that free way that only children could manage.

“You think this is funny?” I growled.

They all nodded vigorously, still laughing.

My heart was full.

#narusasu #fanfiction #isola post traumatic

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tandgstories-blog · 8 years ago

Text

Character Sheet...

Character Sheet for Durjan Nyghte better known as Morpheus

Verse: The Prophecy:The Death Curse Date: 01/16/17

Full Name: Morpheus Nickname/Alias: Durjan Nyghte Meaning: Shape/Dark night (Alias) Title: God of dreams Pet Name: Sand Man, love Signature: Neat and beautiful cursive

Gender: Non Binary Gender Role: Acts more feminine Pronouns: Him/His or They/Their Orientation: Pansexual/Polyamorous Real Age: Unknown Age Appearance: Appears early twenties Birthday: None Deathday: None Birthplace: Hades

Immediate Family: Father, Hypnos; Uncle, Thanatos; Aunt, Eris; Grandmother, Nyx; Grandfather, Eberos, Triplet Brothers(including him), Phobetor & Phantos Distant Family: Most of his uncles and aunts Parenting: It depended on who he was staying with Upbringing: Never do anything for free, work hard, believe in the darkness and chaos Species: Deity, Daemon Ethnicity: Greek Blood Type: Unknown Preferred Hand: Left handed Eye Color: Acidic Green (Sclera is solid black)(Most common form)/Naturally white iris outer ring of pale pink Hair Color: Dyed purple, naturally chestnut brown(Most common form)/Naturally solid black Hairstyle: Undercut, chin length, usually kept in a ponytail(Most common form)/Knee length, bangs frame face naturally Skin Tone: Olive Complexion: Youthful glow Makeup: Nail polish, sometimes wears other make up Build: Lean, swimmer Height: 5'8” Weight: 140 lbs Facial Hair: Stays clean shaven Birthmarks/scars: None Distinguishing Features: Eyes, Tattoos Tattoos: wings filling back, long horns on side of head, night sky sleeve on right arm, alchemy symbols down left arm, sclera(white of the eye) tattooed black, a chomp chomp on his ass

Health: Divine Energy: More than he appears to have Memory: Poor memory with specific details Senses: They are about equal, though greater than a human's Allergies: Claims to be allergic to daylight, none Handicaps: None Medication: None Phobias: Silence, Bright lights Addictions: Sleep, movies, music Mental Disorders: Hypnosomnia (excessive sleep) Style: Gothic and punk styled clothes Mode of Dress: When he's not being super lazy, he'll actually look really good Grooming: Either well kept or messy, no inbetween Posture: Slouches Gait: Slowly but with extreme grace Coordination: Far stronger, faster, and better reflexes than a typical human Habits and Mannerisms: Excessive yawning, Rubbing exposed skin, Making weird faces Scent: Smells like poppies under a full moon Mood: Lethargic Attitude: Doesn't want to deal with people while awake Stability: Fairly stable Expressiveness: Is the least expressive person on the planet when awake When Happy: Hums softly, sleeps lessWhen Depressed: Sleeps more, will fuck with people's dream When Angry: Will put people in eternal sleep, deny them dreams, full blown attack someone Family: Family loves him, especially his brothers Friends: He's lazy but incredibly kind Enemies: He's a lazy good for nothing bastard Bosses: Grandparents Followers: Many people follow him or at least acknowledge him Heroes: Family Rivals: Brothers, aunt and uncles Relates to: Brothers, father Pets/Familiars: A stuffed animal goldfish named Glub, shouldn't be responsible for another's life Wardrobe: It's a mixture of casual and comfortable and expensive Equipment: A decent sized box that’s half ivory and half horn and very decorative Accessories: Two tongue piercings, two lips rings on the left, two eyebrow piercings on the right, septum piercing, several ear piercings Trinkets: A pocket watch with a night sky on it Funds: Unlimited funds due to divine status Home: Decorated as however Phoinix wants Neighborhood: Artsy, higher income people Transportation: Teleports, sometimes flies License Plate Number: Doesn't own a vehicle, can't drive Collections: Blankets Most valuable possession: His pocket watch, blessed by his grandmother and father Prized Possession: Pocket watch Lovers: a variety of lovers Marital Status: Divorced, dating Phoinix and Mags Sex Life: Pretty much dead Turn-Ons: He doesn't care as long as they can sit down, relax, and cuddle Turn Offs: Fidgeting, pacing, super energetic or excited Position: Switch Fetishes: Experimentalism, Rope Play/Shibari, Pet, Masochist, Blood Play, Non-Monogamy Virginity: Too many times to keep count Element: None

Occupation: God of dreams Work Ethic: Loves his job, hates to work Rank: N/A Income: However much they want Wealth Status: Higher class, lives however he wants, usually middle class Experience: None really, born into his divinity Organizations/Affiliations: Whoever sleeps Social Stereotype: Goth or Punk now and days Intelligence: Interpersonal/Intrapersonal Extracurricular Activities: Sleeping, listening to music, sometimes going to a night club, watching movies Religion: Greek Pantheon Morals: Moral compass is a bit skewed, believes that as long as you don't get caught, do what you want Crime Record: Nothing recorded by man Motivation: His job as a god, family Priorities: Family, Personal interests, friends Philosophy: Never be afraid to pursue your dreams, even if it means sleeping your life away Political Party: None Etiquette: Excellent manners Culture: Greek Influences: Family inspires him Relates to: Dreamers of the world Traditions: Greek traditions Superstitions: None Main Goal: Learn what human life is like Minor Goals/Ambitions: Support his friends Career: None Desires: To learn more about human life and why they're so active Wishlist: None Accomplishments: None really Greatest Achievement: Starting to live on earth Biggest Failure: Doesn't talk about it Secrets: He hides the fact that he's a god Regrets: Not moving to earth sooner Worries: Being discovered and feared Best Memories: Spending time with his family Worst Memories: Losing his wife

Hobbies/Interests: Besides sleep, likes to listen to music, watch movies, and make people have weird dreams Skills/Talents: Extremely talented and creative when creating dreams for people Likes: Sleeping, creating dreams, watching movies, listening to music, cuddling, cheesy jokes and puns Dislikes: Being woken up, super excited or energetic people Sense of Humor: Dark, witty, sarcastic, punny Pet Peeves: When people can’t stay calm, when people are unnecessarily loud Superstitions/Beliefs: Knows the powers of the gods, doesn't have any superstitions Dreams/Nightmares: Can't dream Quirks: Likes making a nest to sleep, hates wearing shoes or socks, Savvy: Greek mythology, dreams and their meanings Can't understand: human culture, energetic people, rushing around, insomnia Closet Hobby: Going to a nightclub to party Guilty Pleasure: Helping his aunt or uncle with their work Strengths: Kindness, Patience Flaws: Lazy, prone to lying, likes to sometimes cause mischief Perception: A world full of dreamers just needing the motivation to strive for them Conflicts: When his interests with humans interfere with his divine status Instincts: Constantly create dreams Lures: Tranquil people, Nightmares, Sleeping people in general Soft Spot: Humans who can't sleep, cats Cruel Streak: Insulting his family or friends, People who are cruel or mean without reason Powers/Abilities: Can shapeshift to look like any person, can influence, change, and shape anyone's dreams, can put single individuals to sleep, can hide his wings and horns, can prevent people from ever dreaming again, can put people into an eternal sleep Origin: Divine birth Source: Through a variety of means, often by using a box Ability: The best, the god of these skills Weaknesses: Same weaknesses as most deities Immunities: Cannot catch human diseases or illnesses Restrictions: Can only enter another's dream when he's asleep Alternate Forms: Shape Shifting abilities, only his family knows his true form Extra Anatomy: Wings(Left is white, right is black), long horns growing from temple and back just past his head(Left is white, right is black) Special: When in his true form, he looks like an ancient greek king in people’s dreams. Often wears a long rawhide trench coat that is white on the left, black on the right. Also wears worn leather pants that are white on the left and black on the right. Wears knee high boots and soft leather gloves, both have the left one white, and the right one black. Also wears a white gold crown. Languages: Can speak any spoken language Accent: Changes with his form Voice: Low bass, deep and husky Speech Impediments: Can have one depending on his form Greetings and Farewells: A series of grunts and other noises and waves State of Mind: “How are you?” Proceeds to grunt Compliment: “You're as beautiful as a dream come true,” Insult: “I'd say knowing you is a dream come true but it's more like a nightmare,” Expletive: Just doesn't curse, will make a weird face at you though Laughter: He laughs very quietly, you can usually tell he's laughing by the fact that his shoulders shake, Tag Line: Random meows at friends, “Sorry, can't help with that, I'm sleeping,” Signature Quote: “I'm like a cat that way. I sleep twenty hours a day and gods know what I do in the other four,” “I love helping people dream. If they are willing to dream it, I know that they can achieve it. It's something beautiful,” Reputation: He's lazy First Impressions: He's extremely tired and doesn't want to be there Stranger Impressions: He's a little off, looks like he doesn't want to be there Friendly Impressions: He's lazy yes, but that doesn't stop him from being kind and funny. Enemy Impressions: He's a freak, and he needs to wake the fuck up Familiar Impressions: He sleeps so much so that he can do his job as the god of dreams, he's a good but mischievous guy Compliments: Inspiring, funny, odd Insults: Freak, bastard, sleep addict Self-Impression: He's a lazy bastard who hasn't accomplished anything significant in his long life The Self: Caring individual who wants to inspire others through their dreams The Shadow: A cruel and masochistic man who doesn't mind hurting others to have a little fun and chaos Persona/Mask: Presents a lazy bastard to hide a sensitive and caring man Role: The inspiration, keeping people on their toes Fulfillment: By helping people with their dreams, and just being odd Significance: His divine abilities Comparison: Cats, lots of cats Symbol: Sleeping cats, anything that makes you think of sleeping Song: “Morpheus in a Masquerade” by Cain’s Offering Vice: (Pride/Greed/Gluttony/Lust/Envy/Sloth/Wrath) Virtue: (Patience/Diligence/Chastity/Temperance/Charity/Kindness/Humility) Defining Moment: When he left Hades to live among humans Tropes: His clothing choices, taste in music, some of his views Originality: His divinity One Word: Strange

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