#stop assuming being straight is the standard omg

[tamaytsuki]

“just because two characters are close, that doesn't mean they are automatically gay or lesbian”

That’s the worst argument I’ve ever heard. Like???? It doesn’t mean they’re straight either wtf are you talking about????

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 303: And What, Pray Tell, Is a “One For All”

Previously on BnHA: The Todorokis (really just Enji) looked at their children and went “how can we screw up all four of them in uniquely different ways” and proceeded to do just that. Touya was all “just because practicing how to set myself on fire better hasn’t worked to win my dad’s affections YET doesn’t mean it will NEVER work”, because child logic. Turns out setting oneself on fire real hard isn’t so effective at winning affections, but is actually incredibly effective when it comes to burning oneself to death, so there’s that. Back in the present day, the Todorokis basked in their various misplaced (again, except for Enji) feelings of guilt, and were all “anyway but get over yourself already Enji, you still have to do something to stop this kid”, and Shouto was all “I’ll help too”, and Enji was all “(╥_╥)”, and Hawks and Jeanist were all “[surreptitiously listening in from outside the door]”, and that’s basically where we left off.

Today on BnHA: Hawks and Jeanist are all “mind if we join you on this family journey?” and proceed to stroll in uninvited with their puns and their perceptive insights. Hawks is all “so to sum everything up, we’re fucked, but at least you have us here to help you out! by the way, no clue why I’m the first person to ask this in three hundred chapters, but wtf is One For All.” We then cut to Deku, who’s still all “[(－－)]z”, and All Might, who is all “I’m just going to ignore the extremely loud racket going on right outside this room.” Which, btw, is happening on account of Bakugou, who is all “(╬◣Д◢)” as Satou, Tsuyu, and Mineta cart him away. Anyway so that’s a lot of antics, and also it looks like Hawks has gotten tired of the Todorokis refusing to put the pieces together on their own about OFA and so he is fast-tracking that shit. And meanwhile Deku is chatting it up with the Vestiges exactly like we all thought. And now we have to wait another whole week for updates on all of this. This really is not fair.

omfg lol

“our bad, we were kind of accidentally listening in on purpose.” like I said last week guys, no fuss. it’s a tradition

OMG

I am absolutely fucking floored. Hawks literally said that so casually that it’s impossible for me to rewrite it so as to be even more casual. that’s literally what I would write in the “today on bnha” section. in fact I probably will write that

(ETA: just for laughs I tried it and it really worked.)

a couple more things to point out about this panel: 

“TOP 3” omg yes. more like “top only” at this point, honestly. interested to see how that goes

Hawks’s phone is freaking the fuck out about something, calm down there

I know this is a standard Jeanist hair-fixing gesture that he does all the time, but I can’t help but form hypotheses about this being a stress reaction because Hawks’s hair is making him internally freak out. Hawks, if this man tries to get you alone with him and some hairspray and a comb, please for the love of god do not listen to him. get out of there and call the authorities

omg Shouto’s face

okay confession, I wasn’t really sold on the whole “Shouto has a schoolboy crush on Hawks” thing until exactly now, when I became 100% sold on it. that is adorable

and heck with it, gotta show Enji and Rei’s reactions here as well because lol

“omg my son who’s not my son, and he just overheard everything about me being a terrible shitty father and person overall, oh and plus my actual-son set him on fire and called him out on a national broadcast. I’m just gonna stare at him baffledly.” versus Rei, who is all “hmm, who are these people”

so Hawks is all “I got released from the hospital after one day for some reason so I made Jeanist drive me around places while we talked about life” but uh, heyyyyy, what’s Rei doing

okay, uh

SO FUCKING FORMAL OMFG. “SORRY MY KID TRIED TO BURN YOU TO DEATH, APPARENTLY HE DOES THAT” REI NO IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT

HAWKS IS ALL “I’M JUST GONNA LAUGH SINCE THAT’S MY DEFAULT RESPONSE TO BEING PROFOUNDLY UNCOMFORTABLE”

let me tell you a secret Hawks, it’s my default response too. ahahahahahahaha oh thank god Jeanist is helping her up -- AND MAKING A JEANS PUN, OF COURSE. IT’S BEEN ALMOST THIRTY SECONDS. MY MAN WAS DYING

“WTF IS ILLEGAL DENIM” he’s talking ‘bout them counterfeit jeans, Rei. Antoine Bugleboy knows

THANK YOU JEANIST!! OUT HERE ASKING THE RELEVANT QUESTIONS

damn straight. we’re not gonna sit around waiting another 300 chapters for this information on this man’s watch

now Hawks is telling Endeavor he used to watch videos of him all the time, and calling him his “childhood obsession” I can’t

OH MY SWEET STARS AND MOONS

1000% CANON. “SO CLOSE...” ARE YOU SERIOUS. YOU REALLY PUT THAT THOUGHT BUBBLE THERE AND EVERYTHING. “GOOD MORNING EVERYONE, SO JUST IN CASE YOU WEREN’T ALREADY AWARE, TODOROKI SHOUTO IS NOT ACTUALLY STRAIGHT.” HORIKOSHI KOUHEI I AM LITERALLY DUMBFOUNDED. THIS IS AMAZING

and meanwhile that look on Hawks’s face while he casually-but-not-really-casually-at-all asks this question. that phone app better be using his actual voice. I’m not sure I could take this scene in the anime at this point if it was like Alexa talking or something

that look in his eyes is basically saying that so far, based on the information he has absorbed up until this point, Hawks is prepared to view his former childhood obsession as a flawed but changed man. however I get the distinct feeling that depending on Endeavor’s answer now, he would be willing to drastically shift some of his opinions on him

(ETA: this is maybe my favorite panel in the entire chapter. the fact that his question isn’t addressed to anyone in particular, but his eyes are zeroing on on Endeavor. and the way his leaning-on-Shouto pose manages to be simultaneously nonchalant and yet ever-so-slightly protective. there’s so much going on in this one question and gesture and I’m mildly obsessed with it.)

however, Rei is all “that was me” and ONCE AGAIN WITH THE FACES IN THIS CHAPTER holy shit

Hawks definitely did not see that one coming sob. it’s so fun watching him frantically recalculate his ideas about this family every two seconds

DAMN IT HORIKOSHI I UNDERSTOOD THE PARALLELS ALREADY, YOU REALLY DIDN’T HAVE TO DO THIS

yes, Hawks, you get it. it’s not exactly the same, but it’s close enough. though unlike your shitty parents, Rei and Enji are at least trying

OKAY I SERIOUSLY CANNOT WITH ALL OF THIS

fljkdlaskfjlwkjl okay we’re doing the bullet-points breakdown here

first of all, the fact that poor little Shouto’s heart is still thumping away at this proximity and all he can think is “CLOSE” all intelligently as he stares at him with that face omg

and meanwhile Horikoshi has these STRATEGIC BANDAGES WRAPPED AROUND HIS CHEEKS TO HIDE ALL OF HIS SHOUJO BLUSHING omfg. SENPAI NOTICED YOU SWEETIE!!!

HAWKS YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY ZERO OBLIGATION TO WASTE ANOTHER SECOND OF YOUR LIFE WORRYING ABOUT THESE TWO ASSHOLES WHO NEVER SPARED YOU THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF REGARD OR CONCERN IN THEIR ENTIRE LIVES. THE NICEST THING YOUR MOM EVER DID FOR YOU WAS BUY YOU A $2 ENDEAVOR PLUSH FROM THE DISCOUNT BIN TO KEEP YOU QUIET, AND YOU WERE SO AWED BY THAT ONE ACT OF SORTA KINDA APPROXIMATE KINDNESS THAT YOU SHAPED YOUR ENTIRE WORLDVIEW AROUND IT. PLEASE LET ME PICK YOU UP IN A BIG HUG FOR JUST A SEC, YOU DESERVE THE WORLD AND YOU WERE ONE THOUSAND PERCENT JUSTIFIED IN LEAVING THEM IN THE DUST THE SECOND THAT YOU COULD

but all that said, he immediately recognizes that Shouto would also have had cause to do the same in his situation, and yet hasn’t. and so he has that much more admiration for him all of a sudden, which is just super sweet, and fully appropriate. Shouto does deserve props. I’m choosing to take this as an “it takes a lot of strength to be able to forgive, and people who choose to do that even though they’re not obligated to are really amazing" type of thing, as opposed to “people who don’t forgive other people who severely wronged them are bad.” and if I’m wrong and Hawks’s line here is meant to be seen as actual failing on his part, well then fuck that, but we’ll move on

SO NOW, DOWN TO BUSINESS!

I am so, so curious as to what kind of strategy Hawks has for this (if he even has any), so I’ll just be quiet now and read

so Hawks is summing up basically what we already knew -- that Tomura and his inner circle (curious that there’s no mention of AFO, because if Hawks doesn’t know about him, that implies almost no one does) are still on the lam with a few PLF stragglers and some High Ends; that a bunch of prisons have been “liberated” (I assume this means all of the inmates escaped, so if that’s the case then where’s Kurogiri??); that the HPSC is fucked; and that heroes are resigning all over the place, and so civilians are taking matters into their own hands

OH DAMN!?

does this mean we’ll actually see some international heroes?? I will LOSE MY DAMN SHIT omg

(ETA: apparently people who paid more attention to the first BnHA movie than I did recognized the silhouettes as belonging to some background characters from Two Heroes. so maybe they were just cameos and they’re not actually new characters who are soon to join us lol. oh well.)

anyway so Hawks agrees with the other Todorokis that Endeavor has no choice but to fight

awww

DON’T WORRY ENJI THEY’VE GOT YOUR BACK. WITH YOUR FLAMES, AND JEANIST’S PUNS, AND HAWKS’S BOYISHLY GOOD LOOKS, THE THREE OF YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MINDS TO

so Enji is very pertinently asking why they’re standing by him in spite of the... [gestures vaguely to everything]

oh my lordy lord

Shouto you had better do something to combat this soon, or this man will sneak past you on my favorite character ranking after all. his face. his cheeky lil finger gun. the fact that he sums it up so fucking simply. “if someone is trying to do the right thing, I want to support them.” exactly. exactly

(ETA: and one last thing I love but forgot to mention, which is the fact that Hawks calls it a team-up despite the fact that he is clearly in charge.)

meanwhile Jeanist is all “as for me, at this point I just straight up don’t give a fuck”

I can’t handle how fucking cool this chapter is you guys

so Hawks is all “you good?” at Enji. and Enji...

if anyone needs me, I will be building myself a discourse-proof fort made entirely out of problematic characters. I don’t even care. I will go on living my life very happily in here

lol at Natsu being all “BUT DON’T THINK THIS MAKES US FRIENDS”

I’m living for this weird and no-doubt entirely unintended implication that Natsu and them all are gonna join in the fight with the rest of them. I mean, they do presumably all have very powerful ice quirks. and Natsu has medical training on top of that, and Fuyu is skilled at getting eight-year-olds to behave which could be a useful talent for dealing with Tomura hahaha I kid, but I’M JUST SAYING. who needs hero licenses anyway

OH SHIT FINALLY SOME DISCUSSION OF AN ACTUAL STRATEGY. even if it’s just a PR strategy

WHAKLHL

and now for some reason we’re flashing back to Natsu and Fuyu’s attempts to navigate through the media crowd outside the hospital

well I guess this is why I’m not the mangaka. if I were writing this I would have done something trite and predictable like using that “One for All” line as an excuse to cut to Deku!! as opposed to this entirely unrelated scene!!

seriously though why do we need to see this lol

no one in this crowd has ever heard of Alexander Dumas huh. or even the popular 2007 Disney Channel original movie, High School Musical 2

so now there’s an entire page of Hawks saying they need to know what One for All is, and Endeavor having one of those patented Todoroki WHOOSH realizations lmao look at this

just wait until this man figures out that one of the scrappy new interns he took on three months ago was actually the main character all along

SKDFIOHWIERLKSJGLWLK!!

NOW IS PROBABLY A GOOD TIME TO ASK MYSELF WHY I CHOSE THIS CHARACTER WHO KEEPS DISAPPEARING FOR SIX OR TWELVE OR FORTY CHAPTERS AT A TIME TO BE MY FUCKING FAVORITE. WELCOME BACK SON PLEASE DON’T SCREAM YOURSELF TO DEATH YOU STILL HAVE A HOLE IN YOUR TORSO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

(ETA: can we just take a moment to appreciate how Bakugou even got so close to Deku’s room in the first place though. in this giant hospital with no idea of where to even go. does he have Deku Radar or something.)

YOU SIX ARE OFFICIALLY ON MY HIT LIST!! SPARE ME YOUR GOOD INTENTIONS!! MY BAKUDEKU REUNION KEEPS GETTING POSTPONED WEEK AFTER WEEK!! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE HEROES WHERE IS YOUR CONCEPT OF MERCY

(ETA: btw just to be clear, I’m not actually angry lol; it makes total sense that they don’t want this rampaging feral toddler who was still in his own coma all of fifteen minutes ago to come and start screaming at the other coma child until he tears all his stitches out. if there’s anything we Bakugou fans should be familiar with by now, it’s being patient.)

also, Tsuyu wrapping her tongue around Bakugou’s still-healing torso wound absolutely can’t be hygienic at all. also wait is that Inko??

(ETA: pretty sure it is her. she got all of one line smdh.)

Iida is all “thank god Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight pulled through, I thought for sure he was a goner back there”

for the record this is actually really sweet to see how relieved he is. he’s one of the few people who saw the original injury close up, back when he was still at the battlefield and unconscious, so I imagine it really did freak him out quite a bit

JIROUUUUUU

“sometimes I just like to stand here and tug on my imaginary suspenders, what of it”

how come you guys get to loiter around Deku’s room but Kacchan doesn’t. god fucking dammit. AND WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN

I BET KACCHAN COULD WAKE HIM UP FROM HIS COMA WITH THE POWER OF RIVAL INTENSITY!! BUT NOOOOOOOO, [is dragged away back to my fort]

OH MY GOD!?!

"this seems to be an entirely normal and above-board situation that we have just stumbled onto”

I see Jeanist comes from the Iida Tenya school of respectfully using people’s full names

Jeanist becoming one of the main characters is the best thing to ever happen to this series

EXCUSE YOU, IIDA

BUT I’M SURE HE’D MAKE AN EXCEPTION FOR KACCHAN THOUGH!! [elbowing my way back out of the fort] HAWKS, PLEASE --

DON’T GO ALL OMINIOUSLY PUTTING THE PIECES TOGETHER ALL ON YOUR OWN GODDAMMIT

“there’s absolutely no way this angry wriggling shoulder burrito kid here could answer literally all of my questions, so I’ll just ignore him”

OH MY GOD WE’RE FINALLY CUTTING BACK TO HIM BUT THE CHAPTER IS ENDING

[jumps up, throws a folding chair at Iida and the rest of the gang, and then runs]

oh my god. actually this chapter was awesome. but I’m so fucking mad at this cliffhanger though lol

at least we got a couple of answers! and some hints and teases! poor Deku looks so worn out even though he’s asleep dlwkjl my little green baby. and is it just me or is his quirk activated?? All Might’s all “I can feel it” as if it isn’t obvious just looking at him, why are you trying to be all mysterious dude

anyway! so at least we finally have confirmation and a date for those vestige antics at long last. looking forward to meeting Mister The Fourth next week so we can finally ask him “hey dude, what the fuck”

[chickenmcfly1]

Since you said you’re a guitarist and music major yourself, do you have any thought about Marty as a musician and his path?

omg you should not have gotten me going on this. Music and Marty are my favorite topics of ramble about and now you’re letting me ramble about both together gajagska. Anyway, here are my thoughts about Marty and his music

He started showing musical inclination when he was quite young. Grandma Sylvia (aka Trixie Trotter) would sing and play for Marty and he loved it

He expresses want to learn an instrument when he’s around 8 years old and there’s already a plunky little piano in the McFly home. By no means is it a good instrument, but George has Sylvia teach him.

Marty likes it a lot and he practices and becomes pretty proficient. Neither Lorraine or George expect much to come from it, but they’d rather have Marty playing jazz standards and Beethoven than have him setting fire to the rest of the house

After Sylvia passes a few years later, well one, Marty is absolutely destroyed because he’s not that close to anyone else in his family, but also the piano lessons stop. George and Lorraine can’t afford lessons and they don’t really care enough to encourage Marty’s musical goals

Marty keeps up with his piano playing, but around this time, at age 10, he begins to get really into Rock n Roll. The record store by his house is where Marty goes to escape his family before Doc and he becomes obsessed with all the Rock Stars and their records.

There’s a video of Jimi Hendrix explaining how to play the guitar that plays at the music store on loop, and Marty watches it over and over and over and over until he has it pretty much memorized

He mows lawn for a week and the first time he gets paid, he goes straight to the record store and buys the tape and the other guitar lessons that come with it

And Marty decides right then that he wants to be just like those rock stars. Because their music is so incredible and they’re so entertaining, and talented, and cool.

The older Marty gets, the more fascinated with all kinds of music Marty becomes. He applies himself to learning the melodies and analyzing the elements of the music with a dedication that his teachers wish he could also apply to literally anything else

He also tries his hand at writing his own music. It comes surprisingly easy because Marty’s a very emotional person, even at like 12, but he’s really scared of expressing those emotions. He’s afraid of being made fun of and rejected and judged and called weak, so he writes music, but nobody ever heard it.

By 12, Marty is begging his parents for a guitar, but they don’t want to spend the money on an instrument or lessons. Marty; however, is desperate and is willing to do literally anything to get his parents to buy him one.

Hill Valley is a small town, and the record store owner obviously had noticed how Marty comes by every single day, so he ends up giving Marty some trashy old acoustic that needs to be tossed

The guitar is probably only given to Marty because fixing it up to put it in selling condition would probably cost more that they could ever make from it, but looking at Marty, you’d think he’s just been given the best gift in the entire universe

So he watches the Jimi Hendrix tapes another 10,000 times and works his ass off and improves an enormous amount and by the time he’s 13, Marty is quite a good guitar player

In 8th grade, he’s able to save enough for another (equally crappy and equally used) guitar but this one’s electric and its the most incredible thing Marty has ever seen and he adores it

Marty’s super insecure in pretty much everything he does, and nobody feels good about themselves at age 13, but at this age, Marty really starts doubting himself way more and struggling with confidence. Music is an escape from that. Marty works so hard with his piano playing, with his singing, and especially his guitar playing, and making music is the place where he feels most comfortable in himself.

At this point, Marty’s family life is getting worse and worse, school is hard and friends are hard, but he has music and he throws himself into it 110 percent.

That all comes crashing down at Marty’s first audition. Marty auditions for Jazz band in 8th grade, and that rejection shouldn’t be a big deal because there two spots and 8th 9th and 10th graders, but Marty’s quickly rejected and it breaks it heart. This had been the one thing that was simple for Marty. There was no chaos or fighting or compilations behind it, he just did it and it made him happy, and now that’s been taken away from him too

He pretty much decides he’s giving up on music forever after that and is never playing for anyone else again, but as usual, Doc comes into Marty’s life at the perfect time.

Music is one of the first things Doc and Marty bond about. Doc tells Marty he’s welcome to play any of his records while they’re working. His music is mostly jazz and 50s stuff, and Marty absolutely falls in love with it.

After listening to more of that, Marty discovers a love for combining the classics with a new unique kinda heavy metal sound

He asks Doc about the saxophone and Doc teaches Marty quite a bit of it. Marty’s not as great at sax as he is at piano, singing, or guitar, but it’s fine because he has a duet partner now.

He and Doc play together a lot and he’s the only one that gets to hear Marty’s original music. Marty writes a bunch of jazz and rock pieces for Sax and Guitar too, and being able to play with Doc gives Marty a lot of the confidence boost he needs. Doc makes a point to always encourage and compliment Marty’s performance. And it’s not hard to do either, because Marty really does have something special.

Improvising with Marty is a wild ride. He’s able to change keys, styles, and go into mixed meter in a way that seems almost effortless and with alarming speed. Anybody with him really does have to ‘try to keep up’

Once he gets to high school, Marty tries auditioning for a few things again. To his surprise, he’s picked for a few small things. Nothing as big as he wants, but it’s better than nothing. Someone somewhere thinks Marty’s good and that’s something.

Marty also gets into a little bit or recording, mixing, and composing. [There’s a tiny electric or MIDI keyboard in his bedroom in the Polaroid from the set so I’m assuming he’s writing music for full bands and playing some parts on MIDI with a software instrument, but idek if that technology existed back then, so who knows right]

For his 15th birthday, Doc gives him the rest of the money for the guitar he’s been saving up for. It’s an Ibanez and when he plays it or the first time, it feels like the instrument was made just for him and everything is right in the world

He throws himself even more into practice after this and music goes from a hobby to the thing he wants to do with his life. Marty’s always felt lost and directionless when it comes to his future. It’s always felt like he isn’t good enough and won’t really amount to anything. His family are all nobodies, and nobody thinks Marty is capable of achieving anything. But Music gives him purpose and hope for the future.

Doc’s nonstop encouragement is what pushes Marty to finally take the first step and decide to pursue music

In sophomore year, the pinheads come together. Marty is a lot more serious about the whole thing than the others, but being in a band is cool, so they all carve out a few hours every week to rehearse. Marty pushes and pushes them and himself to be better.

He starts dating Jennifer in junior year and Marty writes a lot of songs for her. He finally gets the courage to show her one. Jennifer loves it and becomes Marty’s (second) biggest cheerleader. Any audition, rehearsal, and rare performance Marty has, she’s there. She knows how much this means to him and she takes any opportunity to encourage him

By senior year, everyone seems to know what they want to do with their life, and Marty knows with absolute clarity what he wants to do too, but he’s so scared to take the leap and go for music. He wants this so badly and it means so much to him, and someone telling him he’s not good enough to make it would absolutely destroy Marty. So he keeps these dreams close to his chest and only tells Jennifer and Doc, who convinces Marty to send an audition to the record company

Making that audition tape is the most miserable experience ever. He does over 100 takes of the same song because if it’s not absolutely perfect Marty’s entire world is going to be destroyed. The recording is never perfect (and Doc tells Marty that no recording will never be perfect enough in Marty’s eyes, and what he has done is incredible but Marty doesn’t believe it)

In the timeline where Marty breaks his hand, the second he wakes up in the hospital and sees his mangled hand and feels the way his fingers move so disjointedly, he knows he screwed up and everything is ruined

The loss of music, which was the one thing that made Marty have hope in himself, sends him spiraling and leads to the broke version of him in 2015

In the timeline where everything works out and Marty doesn’t race, he ends up sending the audition to the record company right away. Obviously, insecurity, confidence issues, and an obsessive need for validation don’t just disappear with one trip to the old west, but after time travel, he’s able to put himself out there with his music a lot more

After time travel, Marty is stuck in his own head a lot. He’s often very confused about the terms of his own existence, and existentialism aside, he’s struggling to cope with trauma bc guilt from what happened on his travels. And while Marty doesn’t care what other people think of him that much anymore, his own opinion of himself has gotten worse, if anything.

Getting over the initial thoughts of ‘you’re not good enough so why even bother’ is a whole process but he and Doc work through it, and Marty is finally able to commit himself wholly to his music.

Being on stage and performing and just playing gives Marty a reprieve from the trauma and the confusion he’s dealing with and his music gives him another safe space

As Marty starts to heal more and more he also starts auditioning more, playing more confidently, performing his own music and Doc (who moved back to the present) is his biggest cheerleader and is there at every performance

The new McFly parents really push Marty to study music at a college so he can get a college degree, and Marty ends up auditioning for college and studying Guitar Performance with an emphasis on Music Education

He writes several albums, a few become huge sensations, he is able to tour for a bit and he performs quite a lot. Once the kids are born, he stops touring as much, and once they’re older, he pretty much fully stops so he can fully focus on them.

He becomes a music teacher instead and it allows him to encourage so many other budding musicians while still staying true to his own passions

[adashelbysgirlfriend]

A Taste for Something Younger  - Polly Grey Headcannon

Omg I love the Ada roommate headcanon! Could you do the same for Polly? Maybe with a woman a little older/same age as Ada (because we accept age gaps in this household) and her and Polly actually get together in the end? I'd die for that ( @vikingsxf​ )

this idea gave me a big gay hard on and honestly I'm so glad you had it; Polly doesn't get enough love. Ive gone for a younger (Ada age) reader because we definitely support a healthy age gap relationship and i just want to pretend its me who's with polly so. ALSO THIS IS A BIT SMUTTY JUST A LITTLE BIT BUT JUST A WARNING OKAY BABES 

you and Ada had been friends since she started at the library

you both had a lot in common and she would tell you about her crazy relatives which always kept you entertained

obviously you had no clue that the Ada Throne you knew was actually thee Ada Shelby 

when you finally do meet her brother in one of his unannounced visits to her flat its a massive shock that your besties family are the notorious Shelby's 

she brings you out to meet the other brothers and John and Arthur both take a liking to you

when Finn tells Polly about Adas new friend from the city who is breaking hearts all over Birmingham she doesn't really have much to think 

i mean it wouldn't be the first time the shelby boys lost their heads over a girl (especially dumb and dumber) and it probably won't be the last

but when she gets the pleasure of meeting you she can't help but understand why the lads lost their heads

you're stunning, not just physically 

you're mind is almost too wise for your years

“you've got an old soul” 

“thank you, Mrs Gray”

“its Miss, and call me Pol”

you're around a lot

you help in the office with the other women and come for drinks when Tommys in a good mood and feels like having the gang out

Polly’s sass making an impression

you're really intimidated by her because she's just this all knowing mature lady who is also really stunning 

she invites you and ada over to have a girly evening 

you literally don't want to go

anxious as hell

i feel like Polly is one of those people that gives off this no bullshit vibe, so you're scared to even chat to her just incase you say the wrong thing

dressing to impress by buying a new outfit and feeling like a fool for it

its the first thing Polly notices when she sees you 

“you look ravishing don't you”

literally blushing all over

stumbling on your words

Ada has no clue whats going on and is so confused

maybe even a little jealous? why are you swooning over her auntie so much 

Ada gets a surprise phone call and has to leave and you are wanting to leave with her but Polly all nah stay 

this is the (best) WORST CASE SCENARIO PEOPLE 

ALONE WITH POLLY 

in her HoUSE

getting drunk to hide the fear but then also getting loose lipped

chatting absolute beans with her and she can't stop laughing at you 

Because she loves that you're a bit scared of her but seeing a more bold side of you kinda turns her on

the drinking night becomes a weekly thing

you start to relax into Polly presence 

seeking comfort in your time in her home 

Ada doesn't even get an invite anymore

getting drunk together and her listening while you babble on about literally the most random topics ever

you get two whiskies in and start telling her all the facts you know about giraffes or the fall of the Berlin wall

and she just loves to sit and watch you 

insane tension 

a lot of staring 

touching but nothing that would cross the friendship line, flirting with it though 

her doing you makeup and telling you about the wild things she's done 

that almost so close you could kiss but without the kiss tension when she's in your face putting your lipstick on

she says you look good in red, which you don't believe but at this point she could tell you you looked good in a teletubbie costume and a bitch would be dressed head to toe as Lala

she sees you start to push your comfort zones and she loves it 

the new found confidence makes her horny as hell

Jealous Ada is more jealous when she sees you walking round in Polly’s shade of lipstick 

“she must really like you to let you borrow that” - but its LACED IN GAY ANGST BECAUSE WTF HOW DID HER AUNT STEAL YOU 

i feel like you make the first move 

which isn't something you or Polly expected

like you've both been drinking all night and for some reason you start doing vodka shots

and this is the good shit vodka were stalking russian standard pissed off your tits shit love

and you watch her neck those shots like she's getting paid by the hour

and you just 

walk stumble right on over there and fall into her lap 

grab that sexy face in both hands and give her the softest kiss she's ever had in her life

it feels like her first kiss ever

which is saying something because you betcha that womans had a lot of kisses

polly doesnt know how to respond she's SHOOK 

she doesn't even close her eyes she's like 

literally frozen in shock 

pulling straight back

whoops

suddenly all that drunk confidence is gone and you're hit with that crippling anxiety you get when you've done something wrong and been caught for it 

Polly grabbing a fist full of your hair and pulling you back down 

now she's KISSING YOU AND OH LORD 

passion 

she's not even clumsy when she's drunk like you are this woman is EXPERIENCED

lip biting oh my christ 

not that pussyass nibbling but actual biting 

and tongue 

and i mean after that loves theres no going back really is there

finding your confidence again or maybe just horniness and drifting your hand under her skirt

your newfound confidence surprises her but she refuses to let you know that because hello she's Polly fucking Gray 

“dont start something you can't finish, little dove”

“do you want me to stop?”

“i didn't say that”

this is the START OF SOMETHING NEW

leaving her panting and sweating, lipstick smudged and clinging to the arms of the chair

i mean once it happens once its a common occurrence loves

not that either of you are complaining 

not just sex but dates in her living room by the fire

walks together arm and arm 

nobody really thinks to much of seeing her and you together, either assuming you're just one of the boys girlfriends or that you're her niece or something 

and they couldn't be more wrong but their ignorance is bliss

she loves how young you make her feel

and you love how much she takes care of you

i feel like maybe she's a little nervous of baring all to you; physically and mentally

her body is slightly more mature than yours, things aren't as new and shiny as yours may be; i feel like she’d take some reassurance maybe before she knew that you wouldn't just leave her for someone your own age

not that Polly is one to doubt her self worth but she feels like maybe she's just a phase for you 

you wouldn't want her any other way though; you love her body and lets be real we all do too 

she takes even longer to be open about her memories and past

i feel like she slowly but surely reveals more and more about her private life until she can finally trust you with the complete story 

the rest of the shelbys know better than to question Polly on her personal choices; but they are happy to see the carefree woman they remember from when they were young 

even salty Ada can see the happiness you bring out in her, although she doesn't want to admit it to herself

Polly buys lingerie for you all the time 

being bratty and flashing your bra strap to her in public places 

or grabbing her hand and running it under your dress until she can feel the lace of your underwear when you're both out in the Garrison 

she has this “wait until i get you home” look that you'll do anything to provoke 

she teases you until you beg for her to let you finish as punishment 

“you see what you get for being naughty, y/n?”

she likes it when you ride her face, because although Polly is still in control she likes to put you in a position of power

and she likes to be able to see all of you when you're close to the edge

angry sex, because lets be real Polly can be a snappy little bitch and when you both get angry what better way is there to solve the issue than rough lesbian sex 

she loves your smile 

and your giggle

it makes her feel like a teenager all over again 

nobody really understands how you put up with such a intimidating, dominating woman everyday but they don't see cuddly Polly who likes to be little spoon 

she does her very best to keep you out of the family business and always will because you're one of the only people on earth Polly couldn't live without 

you often joke about how Polly would just move in after you but she knows that after you there would be nobody else for her

“without you my little doll, i couldn't be me” 

lots of lap sitting 

hair stroking  

the sweetest kisses; she tastes of cherry and whisky

she says you're like pink gin, sweet tasting and extremely intoxicating 

Polly had given up on love until she found you, and now she's got you best believe she will spend the rest of time she has on earth making sure she keeps you 

[darthbecky726]

Bad Batch 1x01 spoilers

I've never done something like this before, but I figured I'd start. Reactions to the first episode of The Bad Batch. (This ended up being a lot longer than I intended, but whatever)

Spoilers under the cut

Red logo burning away starts strong

Yay narrator dude!!

Feels like clones wars

Animated rots scenes!!

And what grevious did after the rots beginning

HOLY SHIT DEPA!!!!!

And caleb right???

And we're in

Omg who voiced young caleb bc it sounds a lot like fpj but aged down and he def doesn't sound like the 14 I know he was when this happened

I like how we started out on familiar characters but not ahsoka or anyone from tcw. We started w young kanan and his master and we know what happened to them and all but if anyone watching hasn't seen rebels they wouldn't be lost as to who caleb and depa are, they'd just assume they're random jedi in o66

Good ol droid screaming as it falls off a cliff

Wow. Them.

I love crosshair

And wrecker

And tech

And echo

And hunter

B1's are so dumb

Lmao the salt from hunter

I feel like depas forehead pearls are a bit unrealistically large but I have no cultural standpoint to really know so...

Caleb's voice is too deep in the same way that jack frost from rotg's voice doesn't match his character model

Ah wrecker not really knowing what she means and echo, the one who has been trained to deal w people and hung out w ani and obi is just like 'thanks general'

Obes kenobes mention

Why is echo so pale

Depa and caleb feel a little too pale too tbh I wonder if it's the lighting or the whitewashing

Wow caleb is a lot like ezra, I can see why kanan wanted to train him lol

Is this what separates caleb and depa, leading to her telling him to run??? Do I need to read dume???

Oh no

Noooooooooo

Bb didn't get the order!

Oh caleb nooooo! Nooooooo they didn't receive that order, they can help you!!!

And he's gone

Oh I need an au where caleb stayed with bb and they helped him after depa died

Hunter sounds so much like rex it's weird like ik they're supposed to sound the same but it feels like wrecker is replacing rex or something. Even tho ik rex's story is over for the time being

Crosshair, no! Don't shoot at him! He's baby

Oh no did crosshair get o66???? It didn't seem to trigger anything in any of the rest of them, but is crosshair close enough to 'reg' for it to have triggered???

😭😭good soldiers follow orders

"sure thing, boss" "hey hunter got a sitch"

Crosshair acting sus

Oh I love watching padawans fight, they're so good!!

I hope that hit to the tree did a lil cognitive recalibration for crosshair, he was acting crazy

Caleb looks so scared!! He just watched his master get gunned down by his friends and now strange clones are trying to kill him/confusing him

Oh caleb

Oh no crosshair don't try to kill him!! Hunters trying to help!

Also hunter doesn't sound as much like rex w the helmet off, but it's weird bc most of the clones are distinguishable by voice even w helmets on. I guess it's the 'im in charge' voice

Star wars if caleb had gone w the bb

Oh hunter u sly dog lying to crosshair so he doesn't go after him. U gotta figure out why crosshair responded to o66 and no one else in ur unit did

Oh crosshair knows he's been lied to

I will always love coming-out-of-hyperspace shots

Ooh kamino, always nice this time of year

Echo is done w wrecker

Why hasn't crosshair taken his helmet off yet, lil bit sus

They better get his chip out on kamino, I don't wanna deal w this

Oof hunter 

Oh who’s that, giving me cloud city vibes

Extreme cloud city vibes wow

Never realized how many clones are just on kamino

Coruscant guard?!?! FOX?!?!

The vibes here, omg

‘The war is over’ wow

Oh no who was that

A female jedi, doesn’t appear to be shaak, couldn’t see any montrals but never know, we don’t officially know how or where she died

Ok wow none of the bb has their helmets on except for crosshair, who got the order. The regs around kamino all have their helmets on. That scene in victory and death when ahsoka took rex’s helmet off- 

And crosshair, he’s actins strange too

Oh tech, do u guys get bullied by regs a lot??

I love their barracks

Lol he finally took his helmet off only to stick a toothpick in his mouth, can he get anymore cliched?

Wrecker is seeming a lot more infantilized than he was in the s7 eps...

Yeah crosshair’s being sus

Ooh, he shifted his toothpick

Lmao ‘what programming’

Well documented my ass

Tech’s speech patterns are so stiff and robotic, it’s like he has to remind himself to talk in basic instead of binary or some shit

Tech throwing shade at crosshair

I can’t quite tell if we’re supposed to like crosshair at this point

Lmao we been knew

Oop ‘more machine than man’ the vader parallels are serving folks

Understatement.

Ugh sheev

Crusty ass bitch

Straight from rots wow

Who is the mystery child and why does he look mandalorian

Ooh he gone

Oh no, the beninning of the empire

Cheering?? Why?!?

That imperial march fade in tho

Thank you echo

Oh shit mystery child is female

Omega, I would not have guessed the pronunciation of your name by reading it wow

She def seems mandalorian

Ugh kaminoans

Oh the kaminoan pronounced it as it usually is, huh.

Omega’s character model def seems more masculine than female, I now headcanon her as trans

Ugh tarkin, I hate that crusty bitch

Empire politics ugh

I love how much shade is being thrown at tarkin and his stormtrooper proposal lmao

Why do all these clones have the standard haircut?? ik them boys like their variety, even if these boys are still under o66′s programming

Wrecker you’re being extremely loud

They’re all being loud in the mess, why

They remember, kid

Lol child

Oh my sweet summer children

The dad instinct was clearly passed genetically from jango lol all these clones got it

Why are background characters so mean? What about it, shiny? Why is ur hair regulation, reg??

The Sad Batchn omg the slander

Lol the food fight I’ve read about in the fics, its finally happening!

Is she.... australian??

The over-animation of character movements in this is reminding me of the looser style of rebels, as opposed to the more clunky style of tcw

Lmao he’s still got food on him

Food fight!!

‘Not again’???!!! Echo!! Wdym not again?! Food fights have happened before?!?? Wait. W bb or w torrent, bc I can see torrent having food fights on the resolute-

Crosshair’s just eating his food until someone messes

I like how echo still has his kamas

Oh no echo!!

Oh echo’s trauma, he doesn’t trust medical droids! Where’s kix when u need him, huh?

Lol, comically long name for a robot trope is alive and well, huh

Lmao the droid lowers his voice like ik this is a perceived bad thing, but I will not tolerate this slander, boys u need to get off kamino

‘The shock’ lmao whyyy

Lmao tech!!

Oh, echo recognized tarkin from the citadel!

‘When you blew up’ lmao

Oh they make me sad

Aaaaah fox!

Man the domino squad nostalgia

Those droids look cool

This is a neat scene, I like seeing them in action

Wrecker reminding me of hevy, but he’s got the training and success to back it up

Live fire???? No!!

Ugh I hate tarkin

Oh no wtecker

Did he just get shot!???! 

Oh no crosshair, be careful!

Tarkin’s trying to kill them!!!

Lol wrecker I love you

Echo using his mech hand as a weapon, truly an arc

Now I wanna see what happened on felucia

I like how tech’s just sitting on the droid’s shoulders

And hunter just had a knife

These boys, I love them

Oh no tech bby

Hot damn that was cool

Wrecher things so too lmao

Tarkin’s like “why didn’t that work??’

Oh new baby clones

No tf they could not, they would never serve the empire and those bitches

I love that they have a window apartment lol

Ugh tarkin u shifty

They all stand at attention, only after glaring at tarkin

Oh no onderon

I hate tarkin, he’s a bitch

How quickly could bitch lord and darth sad have replaced the armory on kamino??

Crosshair still acting sus

Neither does echo, kid

No.

I like omega.

Crosshair, with the sassy hand on the hip-

What does that even mean?? Or elude to??

Lmao tech messing w wrecker, they rlly r bros

Its prob the vegetation

Oh, I missed onderon, but not this much

Lol the put-upon sigh

Its clearly saw and his rebels

Saw! Looking sharp, what’s w the hair....

That’s a very geometric beard, saw

They didn’t kill any jedi!

That’s not what happened, tech

‘The clones’ bitch that was rex and ahsoka, check urself

Aw, I’ve always like the design of imperial probe droids

Thank you, echo

It seems like crosshair’s o66 programming and his mutation are warring w his morals

Lmao the shade

I knew she was an enhanced clone!

Oh, so she is (at least on paper) trans! She’s a clone of jango, and yet she’s female! That must be her modification, but it makes me wonder why

Lol *flicks toothpick*

Aw, they have a picture of themselves! Recent-ish, too, its got echo!

Oh no, AZI!

The difference between them arriving earlier and now, the lack of escort...

Creepy how they had to open the hanger door themselves

Oh no! Everyone!

The coruscant guard, I wish they had gotten better

Tarkin u dramatic bitch

‘The brig’ this ain’t some tallship

Lol echo that shade

Their blacks are different from the ones seen in the past

Crosshair, stop being a bitch

Oh, I don’t like that phrase!! And the fact that crosshair screamed it in echo’s face makes me uneasy. Did rex fill echo in on why fives died?? I hope so...

Crosshair, ur chip hurting??

This child, I like her.

No! Don’t hit hunter!

No crosshair!!!!

I dislike this immensly

So they do still have inhibitor chips!

Tarkin you monster

Oh poor crosshair

ihatethisihatethisihatethis

Lol tech I love you

Wrecker you sweet pea

Lol that’s adorable

I love how they form a “wall” its so suspicious 

He was about to say that, omega

Aaww, echo protective boi

Wrecker shut up tf

That was cool

Sneaky bois

This reminds me of rex and ahsoka sneaking around in v&d

Echo runs so stupid

Oh no they winter soldier’d him!

If he says who the hell is crosshar, I will lose my shit

Yes, he has. They took it from him.

The toothpick

I wonder how they’re gonna get crosshair back to normal

Not good that they nabbed the sniper

Oh, crosshair shot him in the same place he got hit during training!

Ooh, a kaminoan on their side!

I hope omega doesn’t die

Poor trigger etiquette, crosshair

Wonder if omega has any speciality training

They’re just gonna leave him there!?!?!?!?!

Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!

Omega reminds me of young boba 

Oh, so its in her dna

Go back for crosshair!!

Holy fucking shit that was amazing! I didn’t expect it to be that long, but I’m not complaining! This ended up being a lot longer than I anticipated, but I don’t feel like cutting anything out, so sorry for the long post but at least I put it under a cut.

[saintobio]

I just binged wastelands and I loved it so much, I didn't give likes to the chapters in case you don't like massive liking or whatever that's called, but if you don't mind as soon as you answer this ask I'm going to like them all and reblog some.

So this ask is going to have some spoilers in case you or your followers prefer it to be mentioned, but the chapters were so great, I was trembling while reading it, from the pain, the fear and the adrenaline, it was really painful and I actually don't read angst but I just couldn't stop, I was holding back my tears when Rin asked reader to sleep in the room next door bcs Sophia wanted the one she was in, I was so sad but more than that I was livid! How could he do that?! Such a jerk! And then I ended up sobbing when reader hears Rin and Sophia having sex at night, I couldn't even continue reading cause I couldn't see through the tears lol, and then when they got to the camp it felt so nice to have Haru there for her, when he went to cover her with a blanket I straight up broke down and had to pause again to sob (a lot) some more, he was the first one that actually felt in her corner, supporting her as much as he could, the most comforting character, a breath of fresh air, I wanted the last hug between them to las for at least half a chapter, even if just to help reader recharge a little bit, but noooo Suna had to go and ruin it and make her situation even more frustrating and overwhelming, I wanted her to hit him or at least step on his foot to alleviate a little of the pent up anger 😂 and when she went to look for the other shelter I wanted Haru to punch Rin at least once just for my personal satisfaction ^-^'

When she encountered the Z3 I would have preferred for Iwa and Oikawa to save her just because I had been reading the story chapter after chapter and I still was pissed with Rin lmao if they had saved her and found Mattsun and Hanamaki (I assume that's who they were looking for) and then Rin found them all together he could have been jealous and maybe suffer a little more, but that's just me being petty, ignore my angry rant about that, I hated Rin in those moments, I wasn't myself 😂

After they found each other and they woke up together it was so nice, my anger just vanished and I was happy for reader, but then she gets told that Haru died and my heart broke, he deserved to survive just for being an amazing friend. It was kinda sad that Sophia was gone but it is what it is (lol at my double standard with her and Haru, if she had been nice I would've been sadder).

And finally, oh finally... Kita's sacrifice totally blindsided me, to the point that I didn't know how to react and kept reading, and Rin... Omg Rin, right when I was in peace with him, why, oh why does that happen to the ones I like? 😭 And I have the suspicion that Atsumu also got bitten since he asked for help, please don't let them both die, if they die my soul will go with them, I'm not ready to know what happens because I'm scared but at the same time I need to know what happens

Is life really going to destroy reader when she finally had a little bit of happiness and hope? Or is it finally gonna have mercy on her after making her suffer for 7 years? God, we can only hope it's the latter 🙏🏻

Anyways your writing is *chef's kiss*, the pain is agonizing and I'm excited to read the next chapter even if I end up crying and trembling and mad, wastelands is great and you're amazing, I completely loved it.

*sorry for the long ask, it got out of my hands 😅

oh wowow you made me reminisce everything that happened from the first chapter until the current one 😭 they really have been through a lot. thank you sm for sharing ur thoughts <3 i loved reading it

[deaddovecoterie]

Society sets such an expectation on celebrities that they often forget that they are people with jobs, and then they get angry or disappointed when they do something bad, not that they wouldn’t feel that way about anyone else but they feel like... extra mad at them, like why? Why would you assume ANYTHING about this person.

People don’t recognize bad action from celebrities because they like them too, some people will ignore events just because they are a celebrity that they admire and follow.

I’m not saying that liking a celebrity is bad, but we need to make the difference between a person and they’re job, you can like they’re work and not the person, it’s allowed, it’s not wrong, you can dislike they’re work but not the person, that also ok, you can like both but still disagree in some opinions this person has, it’s OK, just... don’t be rude about it, telling others and the person that they suck, whatever, or just straight up judging someone because of it.

And like... if you like a person but deny a mistake they made in the pass just... why, people make mistakes, they’re dumb, we’re all just really dumb, the important thing is to know you’ve grown out of this mistake to be better, a la James Potter

Just STOP IT, guys you’re embarrassing yourselves, the Lorax would not approve

watch me be philosophical and shit for jus one moment-

as human beings, we tend to idolize both objects and people that seem to be estranged from us- that are not immediately connected (i.e your neighbour who works at walmart or something). as “typical” people who lead “typical” and mundane lives, the life style of celebrities greatly differs from our own. they do much greater things than the majority of people have accomplished, and i think it’s natural that we hold them at a higher standard than those around us. they’re a public figure, and since we do, as mentioned, hold them at a higher standard, we think of them as almost untouchable. we only ever see them in pictures, movies, or tv shows, depicting fictional characters (this specifically regarding actors and actresses) we see what they want is to see, their immediate appearance being exploited by the media, which is why we all are shocked when we hear our favourite celebrities go bankrupt, went outside without makeup, gained weight, etc. it’s so unbelievably insensitive and just disgusting as a society that we expect others (who are literally just the same as us) to fit our image of what we want them to be just because they have different jobs. the media does such a good job of putting out good things about people that we are surprised when they do mundane things, getting mad that they aren’t what you thought they were. they’re not your friend. they just simply cannot be expected to fit the picture of what we want them to that has been formed in our heads. they make mistakes just like us, they’re human just like us, and they mess up. as you said, their jobs don’t excuse them from owning up to their screw ups, and it also doesn’t excuse us as fans to lash out and lose our shit. on that note, we also can’t expect them to never do things wrong.

a prime example of this is when a celebrity is found to be racist. let’s say, just for shits and giggles, that they are you favourite celebrity to ever walk the earth, BUT, as said, they are racist. if you hear this and say “omg but they’ve learned, they’re older now and know better” BITCH THEIR AGE DOESNT DETERMINE IF THEYRE RACIST OR NOT, FACTS ARE FaCTS. if your neighbour, becky lets say, used a racist slur two years ago, would you hold her accountable for that? would you excuse that and say, “omg but she’s older now”? no, you wouldn’t, because you don’t want to associate yourself with racist people. are you catching on to what i’m trying to say? yeah.

anyway, i personally agree, the lorax would be ashamed of all of you.

thanks for the insight nonny :D

[wo-wann-was-wer]

WHAT I WAS THINKING: DARK SEASON 3 EDITION

EPISODE 1:

Who are these dudes with the harelip and what do they want

Why did she just take him to a cave and leave that’s kinda rude

So everything in this universe is just gonna be backwards. Love it

Ugh I’ve said this a million times but this show has such Fringe energy and I can’t wait to get a tattoo for this too

This is super freaking me out, i dont like that everyone’s in everyone else’s house.

Ooooh Katharina with glasses yes girl you better work.

I like Michael and this hat he’s rocking

Super into the fact that magnus and fransizka are involved in this universe too

There’s nothing cuter than sex before school. Ahhh the nostalgia

Ten bucks says that Hannah gets out of this bed and is pregnant

Fucking YEP

I am loving Martha in this Jonas journey

I know that all they did was flip the lens of the camera but my brain is breaking at this flipped Winden

Who the fuck is this random dude Martha is with

You know what he kind of looks like Jonas. I wonder if that's relevant or if I'm just grasping at straws

Bartosz looks like he's going to his first grade violin recital

I straight up just did not recognize Charlotte with makeup. She looks hot

There's got to be another person in that picture other than Ulrich because that's a lot of space to rip out for one person

okay hold up Woller looks so good and then when I saw that he was missing an arm I almost lost my fucking mind

Oh shit okay Hannah is living in Katharina's house.

Oh my God are Ulrich and Charlotte having an affair

Is it normal in Germany for kids to just walk into classes that aren't there’s and just sit down

follow up he has a clear noose mark on his neck

Aleksander looks so hot with this beard. universe B is the fucking glow up universe

It's weirding me out that the whole school is black and gray instead of light brown

The look of satisfaction on katharina's face

Wow honestly Louis just broke my heart with his facial expression when he realized his mom didn't know who he was

he looks so scared

Yes yes do it afffffffffair

Oh no you done got found out!!!

Oh the theme of the play here is red and set of gold

Fransizka looks so cute in this little outfit

Oh my God she's deaf!!!!

What the fuck. the fact that this actress can talk is blowing my mind

RIP to Regina a real queen

Peter's a fucking priest

All the fucking weird-ass freaky motherfucking trio is back

The dopplers have the same house That's cool

excuse me sir I think your child is broken

these guys are so creepy What the fuck

I definitely don't like the piano wire

oh this motherfucker is the one who gets lost

I feel like winden in this universe is just a little bit fancier

Well Charlotte and Ulrich just be fucking like crazy

Bartosz is the Jonas of this group and I love it

who was that??????

I cannot get over Aleksander in this beard

I like that things are opposite but they also have things that are different enough.

Like I'm so into the fact that they all went down into the bunker

who in the unholy fuck is that. who is that

Oh shit old Martha

What the fuck is this Tannhaus’ factory we're at

hold up Martha's in 1888

What the fuck. why is Jonas in 1888 and looking SO good

EPISODE 2:

casually sitting over your bed watching you sleep

he's look so good though

yo what the fuck everybody else is there too

Oh no things got really ugly at Mads’ wake

Not for nothing but Tronte is a dick

I kind of don't understand why Claudia would want Regina to live in such pain in this type of universe

Peter is such a good boy

lurking is the freaking national past time of this place

Oh shit we got some spin-off timeline stuff good

who is This is blind guy

I love Katharina so fucking much

I know what she's thinking and it's the same thing I'm thinking which is can I kill a child

why does this picture of Tronte make him look like Jimmy Smits

Katharina looks amazing in this jacket

Also I definitely did not just start yelling GO GET YOUR MAN KATHARINA

Regina just gets more and more badass as time goes on. Also all of the women of the tiedemann family are so fucking badass

I am so excited to watch this fucking relationship develop. they're both too cute

awwww he's using signs!

oh they're writing back and forth

DAMNIT PETER

I always feel like little Noah should do fuckboy sign offs when he leaves rooms because he's so smooth

yesterday Laurel said that this was back to the future but serious and just now Bartosz said it's not super easy to get nuclear fuel in 1888 and now I think that Laurel's right

I will never get over how good he looks JONAAAASSSSSSS

This guy feels like the OG inventor of sic mundus right

Katerina why are you even trying to check in at the front desk bitch Go and get your man

Is this Katarina's mom why does she just recognize that woman's name

everyone on the show is so talented.I spend the whole damn time being like oh my god the performances on the show and it's like yeah we know

Katerina get your man

I literally love them so much look at the look on her face She is a mama bear She is not going to let anybody take her man or her children and I love her

Not a huge fan of people who quote Shakespeare right before they kill other people or am I an enormous fan of people who use Shakespeare right before they kill other people

using a garotte to kill someone is ugly as fuck

I feel so bad for Jana

see this is one of the reasons why I'm like why would you bring Regina back to this world.

wowwwww TRONTE what's up dude

YO WHAT

Oh so how did Charlotte get back there but Elizabeth's still there too. didn't they switch places?

oh the head bump

Not excited for the mother daughter abuse stuff that's about to happen

I love these split sequences that they do at the end

anytime somebody stands and stairs for a lonely at a spot on the ground I assume to somebody died there

Oh shit that guy is a tannhausokkkk I see you

a religious images we love to see it.

This show is a whole series of pause that frame.

No I ruined something for myself!!!!

EPISODE 3

got to love those through and through Ariadne references

okay so Charlotte's great great grandfather has her watch?

who are these horrible traveler human beings

they look like less sexy Francis dolarhydes

I can't get over the fact that wollers missing an arm here I swear

we ARE the glitch BITCH

alternate universe Ulrich is a better person than standard Ulrich

what's this new like zoom-y thing they're doing

I was attracted to Magnus at this jump of the show but he looks better with dark hair

How did they not all die of fucking flu

eternally repeating deja vu

I looked at the production stills and I was like what the fuck is this hair do that Moritz has but he looks amazing

Also everyone on this show deserves an acting award

and Magnus is wearing a skeleton sweater

Hannah does that deep dive detective work any bitch knows the Nose doesn't lie

why doesn't anybody want to fuck wöller

omgggg eat the RICH

also he has that x tattoo on his hand that represents the no future thing

oh the light is rectangular and not circular ooooooh fancy

The show is also a lot of people catching each other's wrists as they walk away

I knew we couldn't trust this bitch

What did he give her

I love the parallels and characters behaviors between universe a and universe b

I want to know how Noah factored into all of this on this side

Martha has a type and her type is iconically Aryan

Oh Aleksander's back with that beard he's back

Hannah is such a snake

Omg that's her!!!!! I thought she was a trans actress.. hm. not super happy bout that :/

What is Helge talking about Ulrich did what??? omg

I would be like SIR DO WE NEED TO FIGHT STOP FOLLOWING ME

I stopped taking notes for the last half of that episode cuz I was really sucked in haha

EPISODE 4

FIRST OF ALL I'D LIKE TO GO ON RECORD THAT I DON'T CARE FOR THESE GENTLEMEN AT ALL

second of all why is this guy being like oh I took your name

why does he have Agnes's bracelet I don't like that

I don't like anything about this guy That's the end of the story

Also hold up a red hot second is Agnes dead cuz if so that's a hate crime

see what did I say

I knew that Hannah was going to get involved with Egon

from the second she walked in that office I was like that bitch has her eye on him and as she should he's handsome as fuck

Also he spoils her so much more than any other man she's ever been with AKA is Egon the only man she ever deserved

Is Hannah going to develop a heart cuz I'm not sure how I feel about that

Also what happens if Hannah gets pregnant

why is Ines a bitch I thought she was mad cool the beginning and now I feel fucking deceived

Also it's such a sweet gig that The kids who are playing kids can now play teenagers

poor Doris. Also he was shitty to her but he was far nicer than I would have been

Doris is so beautiful it's bullshit

older Magnus is so handsome

All I wanted was middle-aged Martha

bitch you have been having unprotected sex with him why do you think that pregnancy was not on the tabl

I'm like who's this guy in the church if it's not Noah I bet it's that little bitch

yeah I fucking knew it

Is this the dude that was married to Agnes I feel like this guy isn't real or something

I'm not surprised he let her go but I don't know why I'm not surprised. I feel like she's important to his timeline and I'm not sure why

look at these relationships forming between these sweet little bab

Hannah looks good in this red. Hannah looks good in all of these styles. 

who is this child

I like that already as a child Bernd had his eye on Claudia as someone who was smart and had a ton of potential

 I keep forgetting that I'm taking notes because I get so invested in episodes

Also I realize the zoomi thing which is going back and forth between the universes

Is Agnes Silja’s mom And if so with whom 

he gave her Agnes’ bracelet that dope All right Tronte

Wow Claudia needs to back off her man

Claudia force him into a relationship with her

I fucking hate Hannah but sometimes she speaks so much sense

ooh I don't need anyone Yes girl that's true You don't need anyone You needing people was what made you act fucking crazy You don't need anybody

This was always my big problem with Hannah was that I initially identified with her because she was such a survivor but then she did such horrible reprehensible things I just couldn't let it go and I absolutely couldn't identify with her anymore

Oh here's my daddy Noah looking so good

I mean okay so I have been in this position before where I was cheating and then my man cheated on me and I was like how dare you but also you cannot be mad if your partner cheats on you when you cheated too. You both fucked up

Is Hannah going to have a redemption arc cuz that's a lot

Oh my God she's not going to get rid of this child is she

Oh my great God I cannot believe that she gave Helene that necklace. 

I knew she was fucking connected to Katharina in the older generation I knew it

Louis and Lisa are a super cute couple and I know that they're not dating in real life but I think that they're very cute together

Oh everybody fucking

yeah they created the Apocalypse yeah

Oh no they have a child outside of worlds that's a mess How does that work so they had they gave birth to that ugly fuck

honestly I hate that he's their child for the most part just because he's ugly as fuck and neither of them are ugly as fuck so it makes me mad.

[mashitandsmashit]

America’s Got Talent: Season 15 - Quarter-Finals 1

Well, it's official! AGT has reached a “new normal”!

Almost half the acts were filmed, and some of them appeared to be pre-recorded...Kinda undermines the live stage aspect of this show...

What's more, we have Kelly Clarkson filling in for the man who made her famous (I figured it was only a matter of time before we saw her as a guest judge). I guess she was okay, but not really one worth judging anyone other than singers...I'm sure she's right at home on “The Voice”, but here...Well, we'll see if she might develop more of a presence, assuming Simon still needs more time to recover...(No need to hurry, Simon...But get well!)

Speaking of people who couldn't make it, the Divas and Drummers were unable to make it for some reason, and have dropped out of the competition...Brett Loudermilk has filled their spot for tonight, which still leaves a vacant spot to bring somebody back in one of the next three weeks...Let's just say, I've already made my wildcard predictions, even though they weren't actually intending on any for this round...Also, this change of plans must have happened a while ago, since someone on the Wiki kept listing Brett for this week, even with the editors removing it...This was WELL before they announced that Divas and Drummers dropped out...

Despite the weird nature of the show, I guess I'll give them props for not USING props, and creating some pretty neat three-dimensional backdrops...Roberta really did look like she was trapped on an island with no means of escape...Well, in an overly-CG'd movie sort of way...

I also liked how the acts that WEREN'T there were able to get some pretty neat sets...It's almost like they're in a movie studio amusement park or something...

Anyway, let's gauge their qualities best we can...

11: Michael Yo. This is probably the first time in a while that a comedian on this show (not counting the ones that were quickly rejected...though on second thought, it might) failed to make me crack a smile even once! The jokes were the same old uninspired gender stereotype jokes I've heard from every hack comedian, and there's just something REALLY obnoxious about his whole “CAN I GET A WHAT-WHAT!?” delivery. I didn't like him last time either, but there were a FEW chuckle-worthy jokes in his audition...And yes, I feel bad saying these things, especially after hearing what he went through. I sympathize, and am glad that he recovered...But if he goes through tomorrow (and let's face it, he likely will), it's not for whatever laughs he brought (as few as those might have been) but the tears. And some of those tears are his own...(Not that he doesn't have REASON to be emotional, but he is VERY emotional, even by this show's standards...)

10: Shaquira McGrath. Without the upbeat fun of her audition, or the moving arrangement of her JC performance, this felt about as bland as any singer I've heard in the past...She also drowned herself out with the backing track and just didn't seem to have the confidence she showed before...She even had a boring set to compliment the boring performance (which is sad, since she was the first to perform on that stage, and the ones to come were much better...)

9: Roberta Battaglia. I guess she's in a similar position as Shaquira, as what made her stand out before was the Lady Gaga vocals...This song wasn't nearly as interesting, but I guess at the very least her singing was more consistent than Shaquira's...Are they really gonna push her to win this season? Because so far, I'm not quite sold on her...

8: Pork Chop Revue. “Lethargic dog act” sounds about right...I know they're hyping it up because “It's pigs instead of dogs! OMG!” But like I said before, pigs aren't really that hard to train...And none of the tricks were anything surprising...(At least their audition had that baby pig in the carriage...) Still cute, but I'd still say this act is the runt of tonight's litter, ready for the proverbial slaughter...It's gonna take more than a talented spider to save THEM...That'll do, pigs...That'll do...

7: Frenchie Babyy. There's a likability to Frenchie that makes me REALLY want to like his act...But in the end, I think he's suffering pretty much the same problem as Turf did: There's not much to the act aside from a guy doing weird things with his arms...He just looked lost in that elaborate 3D set, and there's only so much stage you can fill with just your arms...It's not like contortionists filling a stage is impossible; Strauss Serpent pulled it off (at least once), and that guy can pull off contortions that Frenchie could never even DREAM of! We'll just see if Howie's faith that he'll go through tomorrow is well-placed...

6: Simon and Maria. It's amazing what a fun set can do for an otherwise humdrum act...Not much to this performance that I haven't seen before from them, but throw in the diner set and the retro clothes, and something just clicks...I didn't love it, but I still had fun watching them, and I could tell they had fun performing...

5: Double Dragon. Similar case for these ladies, but even moreso! Their name may be a ripoff of an old-school arcade game, but they sure know how to put on a show! In a battle against that OTHER singing twin act with a name straight out of 80s martial arts works, sorry, but the Ninjas are no match for the Dragons!

4: Archie Williams. I'm starting to get Archie's charm. He may not be the best singer, but he is compelling to listen to...Do I support him potentially winning this whole thing? Not really...But I will wish him the best nonetheless!

3: Annaliese Nock. Sorry, Bello, but I can't count you for this performance...Nonetheless, like Simon Cowell, I wish you a good recovery! (Speedy too, but like I said, Simon doesn't need to rush it...) Anyway, it's funny how they talk about their previous appearances on this show, and yet never brought up that Bello performed this very same act in this very same round three years ago...I will admit...It was better when he did it...He was a LOT more nimble and probably had years of experience doing it, as opposed to Anna tripping at points and looking like it was much harder for her...But that still didn't stop it from being compelling to watch...Even when she tripped (or ESPECIALLY when she tripped), you just can't help but root for her to keep going! For that, it might have ended up better than it would have if both of them performed this stunt together...Either way, we'll see if they get the votes they deserve this time, but there's still some stiff competition (by which I mean there were quite a few acts that appeal to emotions more than raw talent...Though maybe they'll get sympathy votes for the accident...)

2: Brett Loudermilk. A mixture of sword swallowing, archery, magic and comedy! It's like he threw four separate acts into a blender, and this was the result! It looks like Sofia's gonna be a permanent fixture as his assistant, at least as long as he's competing in this game...I guess they work off of each other too well! And once again, funnier than the actual comedian tonight (without any offense to Michael, since I know he went through a lot lately). Him and his Pepto-Bismol hair have my vote!

1: Feng E. The sad thing is, Feng's probably not gonna get the votes he deserves, because he didn't receive the hype he deserves. I mean, second act of the night!? Really!? This was too awesome to be placed so early! No doubt there's a bias for which acts tend to get hyped over others, and innovative instrumentalists are never particularly high in the pecking order unless they have a sob story to milk for all it's worth...Though I will say that his Lego story is a story I would vote for! We'll just see how things turn out tomorrow, but with so many acts that the judges seem to like over him, and even in the child category he gets out-cuted by Roberta and Maria, it's not looking particularly hopeful for him...

Pretty mixed bag of a night...Cowellization seemed to be in full effect even without the man himself there...Also, the filmed performances are gonna take some getting used to, but I do like how the acts work with them...

My Votes: I gave every vote I could to my Top 3 in this list...

Result Predictions: I'm not really in the mood to be optimistic here...I still hold that Archie and Roberta will get the Top 2 spots, Michael will probably get the other one, and maybe one or two of my three favorites will make their way into the save votes alongside maybe Simon and Maria and/or Double Dragon...

See you tomorrow for Kodi Lee and Mat Franco!

[greed-the-dorkalicious]

We’re halfway through pride month, so I would like to give my fellow cis people a GENTLE FUCKING REMINDER: being a trans ally isn’t just about doing what’s convenient or fun for you. 

Reblogging lots of “Donkey Kong said trans rights!” or “Fuck terfs!” or whatever the fuck posts don’t mean shit if you’re not making an active effort to be inclusive of trans people. Great, cool, you posted a funny meme, or you mindlessly repeated something about Stonewall or whatever, but are you perpetuating transphobic rhetoric in your other posts? Are you listening to trans people? Does your support of trans people mean actual support, or just passively not hating them? I’m fucking sick and tired of seeing cis people not give a shit about trans people, and then pat themselves on the back for taking .5 seconds to reblog a picture of Lily Hoshikawa or whatever the fuck. You need to Make. An. Effort. Allyship that’s only skin deep is not allyship at all, it’s just trying to make yourself look good because hashtag diversity or whatever the fuck.

You’re not being a good trans ally if you:

Say things like “Straight people don’t belong at pride!”, or otherwise equate the entire LGBTQ+ community with “””sga”””, erasing and actively excluding straight trans people in the process

Use “terfs” as a buzzword without actually understanding what terfs are, what kind of rhetoric they’re spreading, why it’s bad, the difference between terfs and regular old transphobes (guess what! transphobia is bad no matter who it’s coming from or who it’s directed at! Not everyone is a terf! Words Mean Things, Guys!), and also making sure you don’t fall victim to their brainwashing

Hold trans people to impossibly high standards that you wouldn’t hold a cis person to (especially gnc trans folks, because when a cis guy wears a dress it’s A Win For Gender Equality Omg King Yesss So Woke or something but when a trans guy wears a dress suddenly that means he’s actually secretly a cis girl, apparently)

Try to judge whether or not someone is “really” trans or “trans enough” (hint: you don’t know their life, regardless of what you think of them it’s None Of Your Fucking Business so shut the fuck up) or accuse people of being trans because it’s “trendy”

Expect people to disclose their agab for any reason, or assume everyone to be cis until proven otherwise

Use terminology that, even if unintended, equates gender with biological sex (looking at you, abortion debate people)

Think trans people aren’t really lesbians/gay/etc. or think it’s ok to be like “Yeah I’m gay but I’d never have sex with a trans dude” or shit like that. (Literally who the fuck asked, Dave?? I’m bi but I don’t go around announcing that I, idk wouldn’t have sex with guys with small dicks or whatever, because that’d be a weird, mean, and gross thing to do. Why the fuck is everyone so preoccupied with yelling about trans people’s genitals. Get a life)

Shit on men as a whole, because frankly it’s horrifying how many transmasc friends and family I have who have struggled with their gender even more than is necessary or felt pressured not to identify as male because of the concept that All Men Are Bad Evil And Mean, or thought that they couldn’t be men because Men Don’t Uhhhhh Have Emotions Because They’re All Evil And Mea-

Treat “nonbinary” as just a third gender, or shit on nonbinary folks in general, especially when it comes to judging them because you don’t like the way they present or their pronouns or their microlabels or whatever the fuck. Their gender is their business, not yours. Shut up.

Excuse transphobia from media or people that you like- No, this isn’t saying that you can’t like anything ever that’s slightly Problematique™, it’s saying that if someone says “Hey this is transphobic” you, as a cis person, should not immediately go “Um well ACTUALLY no it isn’t because xyz” or “Yeah maybe but blahblahblah so actually it’s ok! uwu”

Shut down trans headcanons (unless you see like, A Known Cis™ making “headcanons” that are blatantly nasty and fetishy, then by all means tell them the fuck off for it. But again, don’t assume people are cis by default)

Refuse to accept criticism on your treatment of trans people, try to make up sob stories about how respecting trans people is haaaard :(((( or pull the “I’m not transphobic, I have A Trans Friend” card

It’s 2019, it’s time to start making bigger changes. Yes, it’s great that we’re at a point where it’s seen as cool to post pro-trans memes and such, it’s great that parts of society are now past the “it’s fine to outright blatantly say you hate trans people” phsase, but we can’t stop there. It’s time for all of us to start actively working to uplift and protect our trans siblings, even if that means- gasp, oh the horror- having to, like, think critically and reflect on our own flaws.

(And yes, this does include myself- I need to continue making an effort as well, because being a good ally isn’t a one-time thing where you can go “Well, I’ve been deemed a Good Ally Now so I don’t have to actually do anything anymore”. I do need to have an active awareness of myself and keep myself in check, as all cis people should fucking be doing.)

[serenagaywaterford]

@volatilelovers​ replied to your photoset “ok so like i had a totally other purpose cos it was about me walkin...”

Ok 1) bra deets 2) I want ur dog I'm sorry I just I want to steal him 3) is this like no make up challenge? Hashtag real lesbian bodies? The airbrushing drives me nuts and soooo much so called lesbian content on tumblr is not realistic and therefore kinda lame imo but it's better than nothing. An embodiment person I follow started a series where ppl send in photos of different parts of their own body and idk this remind me of that. That and thirst trap obviously lmao

1) Puma! from Winners lol. It is SO comfy, ngl. The cups are those annoying bikini type removable ones and they can shift a bit but it’s nice and tight, but not too tight. I mean, Puma don’t make the most long-lasting, durable undies but they’re nice while they last. 

https://www.amazon.com/PUMA-Womens-Seamless-Graphic-Crossback/dp/B07XYGGLWM

Puma fits small tho. Like this was a medium, and it’s a bit small. And I’m just a regular 34-B/C (depending on the damn company ofc). 

I actually bought it cos of what we were talking about the other day and I was like “i need more sportsbras. sore boobies need gentleness, no more underwires.” (and i gotta say it has helped a lot it seems.) i honestly haven’t really worn sportsbras regularly since...like high school...... so this is all new haha. altho i’m now in the state where if i don’t have to wear a bra at all i won’t. (very different to even 5 years ago when i’d never NOT wear one, even to bed.)

2) he is stupid you can have him lol he has bad breath and won’t stop snuggling and licking toes. he’s a toe licker. he won’t give kisses anywhere else but if you have bare feet watch out. it’s disgusting lol

3) honestly i think that should be a hashtag. i mean so much of the “lesbian content” i post photowise is these perfectly shaped, photoshopped, etc women. probably most of whom aren’t even gay half the time. (the older ones i believe, and they tend to show more real bodies in older women. cos older women aren’t meant to fit in the ~tumblr aesthetic~ anyway.) but with the exception of one or two selfies, i don’t often see actual lesbian bodies here. lots of heavily filtered, posed, aesthetic photos of 18 year olds with perfect bodies. which is like... not most of us?  and to be totally frank, it took me so fucking long to be ok with my body and it wasn’t until i really accepted who i was (AND be around other women consistently naked and had it not matter to them) that i even was comfortable with it. like i’ve always been so, not ashamed, but shy. (and i know if you saw photos from when i was 19 and walking around in like no clothes you’d be like “are you sure? cos you look pretty confident in that teeny bikini or dress.” but inside i was very much not confident. i did it to fit in and be popular lol. sweet sweet (fake) validation, babey!). the self love that comes with being with other women is incredible.  anyway yeah so like i know how my body DOESN’T fit into the ideal aesthetic (and i’ve had plenty of comments in the past irl about my lack of “womanly”/”child bearing” hips, skinny arms, etc etc. the hip thing always kind of made me laugh tho cos i am always like “well, nature knows! good thing i never want kids then if i don’t have the hips for it!!”) but i think it’s important for people to see regular bodies around. like yeah? a little tummy? i used to be devastated by that (and doctors thought i had an ED cos of it) but i’ve come to accept that it ain’t going anywhere cos i’m a female and that’s just how it’s meant to be. esp as we get older. (and my wife insists it’s cute. cos i was skinnier when i met her and she’s like “you look so much better now”, which is similar to the time i lost a lot of weight to get rid of that tummy specifically cos it’s used to be a Big Thing I Hated, and once i put back on some weight my granny was like “oh thank god. you looked really sick before”.) and esp when you come from a culture that doesn’t have more body acceptance. like the first time i went to iceland and to the pool and all the women were just wandering around naked, in all ages and forms, and with zero shame, i wa slike WHAT IS THIS WORLD??? it was baffling to me. cos even in change rooms here it’s quite i dunno hush hush (altho not men’s locker rooms cos i’ve spent a lot of time in those when i was the only girl on the hockey team and they’re just boldly naked and don’t give a single fuck. but women’s lockerrooms? always a bit more...i dunno.). except old ladies who don’t give any shits whatsoever. but all ages there, just going about their business--and i STILL felt insecure which is crazy. i was stared at more for NOT being buttnaked. even the kids were like “wtf”. i want that sort of casual, easy body acceptance and lack of fear of judgement. and i didn’t even shave my pits here (it’s been weeks)... and i forgot until i posted the photos... and then i realised, it seems really obvious to me irl but then i look at the photos, and i’m like “shit, it’s not really noticeable is it? i’ve been freaking out all this time over nothing???” that was pretty stunning tbh. i didn’t realise til i took the photo that it’s not this massive deal. anyway i’m just sort of sick of the “young, thin, hyper-feminine so-called lesbian with long straight hair and sexy undies” ideal (esp when softly touching other young, thin, feminine so-called lesbians). my god just searching “lesbian” on this hellsite is 95% that exact content (that isn’t a comic or illustration which is the only way to see real bodies lol how ironic). god forbid there’s a butch in sight, even a soft butch, or normal body, or natural bush/hair, or tomboy that isn’t super feminine. (the only tomboys allowed are the cute ones with the hipster shirts and backwards ballcap with long hair and perfect eyeliner). we get the occasional professional athlete but that’s it. (where are the regular athletic women, the sporty, muscular women, not hyper-feminine tomboys? where are the stone butches and big old ‘i don’t give a shit bout anything’ dykes? the women who exist outside the ideal BMI and age range? nowhere. cos it doesn’t fit the virgin tumblr aesthetic. it’s not “pleasing” to the majority of users here cos they’re so accustomed to only seeing one type of “lesbian”) but beggars can’t be choosers. and so i reblog the slight bit of shit we do get lol. i dunno, if i was an 18 yr old lesbian i’d be so worried cos i don’t look anything like these girls and no one else i know is either. so just a regular ole boring lesbian body here and it’s imperfect by social standards but it’s fine by my own. tbh i think it’s pretty cool that normal people send in photos of their bodies, just regular, imperfect, everyday people to counteract the mass of bullshit on social media where everyone is so fucking fake. (i assume that’s what you mean by the blogger you mention. i’m guessing it’s not photos of perfect, filter-heavy body parts etc.) and i think in a weird way, being seen --not necessarily validated for it tho-- helps your own ability to appreciate yourself. like not hiding it. just taking that step and posting “this is my leg” esp if you’ve been insecure about it. and you don’t even need the “omg what a beautiful leg! leg power!” sort of social media cheap validation stuff. just the act of posting it. (and i mean...i don’t mean porny, thirst photos to get likes. just... you know normal shit. although i would TOTALLY post my bush if it was allowed just to knock it home that it’s natural. and NICE. and we need to see it more. and i don’t mean in a porn way either. but in the way we see women in art or science books. nonsexual. like that goop episode LMAOOOOO) just as a “this is what it is”. and we all need a little more bodylove i think. and it’s hard to do that when all you see is the insta and tumblr ideal aesthetics absolutely constantly. but i mean i really did just want to show off the bra ...which then turned into showing off the dog lolololol cos he’s ridiculous.

[authorazumarill]

Speaking of Hardenshipping AUs how about a “Shape of Water” one ;) ?

Omg yes. It’s too perfect! One of my fave movies paired up with my fave ship? Yes please. I can see it as Maxie is a scientist working for Team Rocket. Some of the grunts, when searching for Pokemon that could be sold for high prices such as Milotic and shiny Clampearls and whatnot, found Archie and brought him in. Instead of rambling on and on, I think I’ll write a little instead! I can’t guarantee that this will be good, but I just wanted to write SOMETHING.

Maxie Matsubusa hated his job. He truly did. He knew that it was practically impossible to find an amazing job straight out of college. All he wanted was a decent pay and a job in which he could let his intellect do his speaking for him. The world was a cruel place for someone who couldn’t speak, after all, so Maxie had to find a way to adapt, improvise, and overcome. Maxie liked to think that his brilliant mind gave him an advantage over the rest of the general population. Actually, there wasn’t a “liked to think” about it. He knew that his brilliant mind gave him an advantage over everyone else. However, in this horrendous job market, Maxie would be grateful for anything that he landed.

He really should have thought about his standards a little more. An organization known as Team Rocket seemed to have emerged in Hoenn overnight. He didn’t know of them, but they knew of him. They wanted him, and the handful of recruiters that knocked on his apartment door made that very apparent. However, every time Maxie tried to research the organization, no results emerged. He questioned it, writing down his thoughts and slid it over to the recruiter, the answer he received was just as shady  as the organization. “We’re new and still trying to get our name out there,” she replied with a smile. “With you on our team, there is no doubt that Team Rocket will be a household name.”

Maxie still had his suspicions, but they pay was more than he could have hoped for. That pay, however, didn’t matter when he learned what exactly he would be doing. Everything that was assigned to him sounded strange and practically impossible. Find a way to evolve a newborn Feebas into a Milotic. Find a way to alter a Poochyena’s natural dark fur into a shiny, golden coat. The list of impossible demands were endless, but every time he attempted to express his concerns he would receive a “reminder” to not go against his bosses. Such reminders varied based on the mood his boss was in. Sometimes it would be a sharp smack across the cheek. Other times it would be a bite from an Arbok. No matter the “reminder,” Maxie didn’t want to deal with it. He wanted nothing more than to quit, but his bosses had made it very apparent that quitting wasn’t an option. Well, it was to a dead man.

The world was cruel and scary, but Team Rocket was much crueler and scarier. After months of dealing with such abuse, Maxie has learned to tone things out around him and simply try to conduct his work. The desperate mews from caged Skitties awaiting their deathbed just so Team Rocket could turn their tails and fur into profit were tuned out as he made his way to his lab each and every day.

Dragging himself into work proved to be interesting for once. The rut he was stuck in seemed to be the same day after day, but on this day there was some water thrown into his rut. The sleek tiled floor has splashes of water heading in the direction of his lab. He could only assume that the janitor really fucked up with his job this morning.

That didn’t seem to be the case.

After swiping his key card to enter his lab, he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw a few black clad grunts, white coated scientists, and a green haired executive all gathered around the tank where they kept the unfortunate water types. The water was murky, making it impossible to see what they all were looking at. The sound of the door opening had caught the executive’s attention. Proton turned around and gestured for Maxie to join him. Maxie obediently obliged, curiously looking at the tank himself.

“We got a little surprise for you and your crew, Maxie,” Proton explained. “We found this…thing when a few of the grunts went searching for Clampearl pearls. I’ve never seen a Pokemon like it. In fact, I don’t even think that it’s a Pokemon.”

As the executive talked, Maxie saw movement in the murky water but still couldn’t make out what was in it.

“That’s where you come in. I know you hold a special interest in mythology, so try and figure this one out. See what this thing is good for and let me know asap.” Proton patted Maxie on the back and ordered the grunts from his crew to follow him out.

That explanation wasn’t the least bit helpful, but Maxie knew better than to put up a fight. It was useless since the executive didn’t know an ounce of sign language and Maxie didn’t feel like wasting his notebook paper. The less he had to see his boss, the better.

With the crowd gone, Maxie examined the tank a little further. Now he could see a silhouette behind the glass. It looked human-like. Cautiously, he pressed his hand against the cool glass and quickly jumped back when he felt a thud come from the other side. For a brief moment he caught sight of the creature. It was very human-like. Digits similar fingers pressed up against the glass, but unlike human hands, they were webbed. Webbed and rather scaly. Scaly like the rest of its skin. Before it went back into the depth of the narrow tank, Maxie caught sight of what he assumed to be dark blue eyes.

Maxie didn’t know what this thing was. He didn’t even know why Proton had assigned this thing to him. He hated water creatures, but…he would be lying if he said that he weren’t intrigued.

And thus the research began. The research proved to be as fruitless as a harvest in winter due to the lack of mobility they had with the tank. Maxie could barely even see the creature half the time. He made a request to get a larger, more accessible tank, and to his surprise, his request was approved. They must have really wanted to get some use out of this creature if they were willing to put investments into it.

One day, his normal rut was interrupted again. This time, Proton stood in front of his laboratory door. “Well Maxie, since we like you enough, we were merciful enough to grant your wish. Follow me.”

Raising a curious brow, Maxie followed Proton down the hall into the restricted area labs. Labs where he always heard the most horrible of noises. Labs that he never wanted to step foot in. “Swipe your card,” he ordered once he stopped in front of one of the doors. “I want to make sure we gave your ID access to this one.”

Maxie nodded. He tucked his sacked lunch under his arm so he could grab his card and swipe it on the card pad, hearing the confirming click of the lock moving. Proton moved inside while Maxie followed behind, albeit a little hesitantly. The room was nothing worthwhile, but the treasure lied at the end of the room. A large tank sat there. The walls came up to around Maxie’s hip but something told him that it was deeper than it let on. Almost as if he were in a trance, Maxie walked past Proton and looked curiously over the water.

“I’ll leave you be,” said the executive. “The rest of your crew will arrive shortly.” With that being said, the man left.

The only sounds in the room came from the water running through the filter. He sat down everything in his arms on the cool tile floor and took a few cautious steps closer to the water. What in the world was he supposed to do? Rolling up the sleeves to his white lab coat, he patted the water before quickly pulling his hand back. Looks like stupid ideas really did produce stupid results.

He looked around the room for anything that could help him out. He wanted to see the creature, but he also wanted to be humane about it. No poking, no prodding, no stabbing. That knocked out literally everything in the room.

Everything except for a tasty lunch.

It was worth a shot, Maxie figured. He opened his sacked lunch and rummaged through the items in it. Since he didn’t know what the creature’s diet held other than fish Pokemon, Maxie figured his safest bet lied in berries. Fortunately, he had a plastic baggie of oran berries.

Figuring that it was best to start off small, Maxie placed a single berry on the edge of the tank before taking a step back, waiting with baited breath for the creature to make a move. Minutes ticked by and Maxie was beginning to believe it was hopeless, but finally, he watched as a head poked out from the surface of the water. The creature was unlike anything he had ever seen before. Blue, scaly skin covered his face and long, ragged fins were where its ears were supposed to be. On the middle of his face was a faded scar in the shape of an “X”. For such a fish like creature, the fact it had a head of hair as well as what looked like a beard completely threw Maxie off. He had only assumed the murky water of its previous tank was playing tricks on him. The creature looked at the berry before catching sight of Maxie. It grabbed the berry before sinking back down into the water.

It was hard to say what kind of hell the creature has been through within the past few weeks. Maxie always tried to keep it well taken care of in his care, but he couldn’t say the same for his co-workers. Taking another step toward the tank, he left another berry on the side of the tank and backed away. After another few minutes, the creature emerged, took the berry, and sank back down into the safety of the water.

Maxie repeated this process, noting that after the fifth round the creature didn’t immediately sink back into the water. Instead, there was a moment where the creature simply looked at him with curiosity before sinking back down into the water. Those moments became longer and longer, but every time Maxie tried to take a step further, the creature would hide away.

Finally, after placing the last berry on the side of the tank, Maxie didn’t back away. Instead, he leaned against the cool metal, waiting for the creature to emerge. Without being a disappointment, the creature poked his head out from the depths of the water and stared at Maxie. It was hesitant, but it slowly scooted closer and closer to the edge of the tank.

Maxie could feel his heart pound frantically against his chest. There was a very high possibility of the creature attacking him, pulling him down into the depths of the water just to turn him into a meal.

But it didn’t. It took the berry and plopped it into its mouth, revealing overly sharp teeth. Instead of sinking back down, the creature swam closer to Maxie. It took every ounce of self control to not instinctively back away. This wasn’t a Pokemon. It couldn’t be. It was something else. Something more unique.

Something Team Rocket was desperate to either sell or abuse.

Looking into those dark blue eyes, surrounded by inky darkness instead of white like a human’s, Maxie did see some humanity in there.

Human or not, Maxie had has it with Team Rocket’s shit.

The door opened again and the creature sank back into the sanctuary of the water. Instead of turning his head to see who had arrived, Maxie stared at the water, longing for the creature to come back.

This was one creature that he refused to let Team Rocket to torture, he decided.

They both were going to escape. They were going to escape and rid themselves from Team Rocket.

[janiedean]

lmfao actually Egerton snapping like that is so heterosexual and sexy :D

first thing: I 100% know this is trolling and I hope to whatever it is that you’re not who I’m thinking of because if you are then you’re beyond pathetic. but since I think it’s not clear..

second thing: can y’all just fucking stop with this bullshit?

he didn’t snap. it was obvious he was just saying a thing fairly calmly. snapping when?

it’s not fucking sexy when you have to tell people you’re ‘sorry to disappoint them that your sexuality is not the one they *want* you to be because they want to imagine you screwing someone they find attractive*, which by the way is fucking fetishizing someone (not even A SEXUALITY, *SOMEONE*), BECAUSE NO ONE FUCKING OWES YOU THEIR SEXUALITY, and honest to fucking god if I wrote egerton/richard madden rpf fic I’d know it’s not real and I’d never expect them to act it out and I’d never presume they’re actually fucking because I’d know it was all in my damned head. that said, I actually don’t even go there so whatever, but I’m really fucking tired of this attitude where people on this shit of a website and in general feel entitled to their fave’s sexuality IN REAL LIFE and call *queerbaiting* a straight guy who dares not be *toxic masculine* and is openly affectionate with other guys because they can’t go like OMG HOW CUTE THAT HE’S GAY FOR THE OTHER PERSON, as if being *gay* was automatically cute or hot or whatever, because ofc it’s only fucking straight women writing fanfic *fetishizing sexualities*?? miss me with that bullshit. the moment you expect something out of a real person’s sexuality because that sexuality is *better* or cooler or hotter to you then you’re actually fucking fetishizing both that and the person in question, so excuse me but the fact that *that* is apparently okay but straight women writing about fictional guys banging each other is not is really fucking rich;

‘so heterosexual and sexy’ you’re saying being angry is *heterosexual* and a *straight guy being angry is heterosexually sexy*? like are you fucking hearing yourself? you’re likening being straight with being angry and that’s so heterosexual of people to be angry? never mind that it’s *sexy* if he’s moderately pissed off (without showing it) that people are disappointed that he’s straight?

anon, for the love of fucking everything: don’t. okay? don’t. being angry is not fun nor sexy at least irl and tbqh I don’t find it too sexy in fiction either unless it’s enemies to lovers resolving their sexual tension and stopping being angry at each other, it’s not inherently heterosexual, it’s not sexy to be pissed off people have expectations about who you want to fuck and cannot realize that straight people can in fact be supportive of not straight people and show affection to the same sex especially men who are societally expected (wrongly) not to and it causes them issues and we’d all know it since according to tumblr dot com it’s a feminist issue first and foremost (I’m not even going there but I find it fairly ridiculous that toxic masculinity is something you fix with third-wave feminism TM made by american people for american standards and it doesn’t even work for them half of the time) and I’m really, really fucking tired of y’all on here deciding that if someone is straight you can say whatever the fuck you like about them, deciding they’re not, deciding they’re problematic, equating straightness with fairly shitty things and making unfunny af jokes because ‘hey we should be able to take it it’s only jokes’, questioning anything when someone straight says they might be flexible (because THEN IT’S JUST YOU NOT WANTING TO ADMIT YOU’RE BI/NO-HOMOING) and so on just because tumblr has decided that wanting to bang the opposite sex as a general thing is bad and not cool and boring.

like.

can you fucking not?

signed, someone straight who has supported lgbt rights and went to marches for same-sex marriage in fucking high school when half of this website was in kindergarten and is really, really damned tired of y’all assuming that we’re the kind of disposable friend that shows up when you call and when you need them and the rest of the time is 100% available to get made fun of at every damned turn and who has to take every dumb joke about how terrible they are for their sexuality which by the way they did not choose, thank you very fucking much.

[fanatical-san]

Omg 6, 22 or 24 for Drarry - I can’t decide which one as I think they’d all be amazing, so I’ll leave it up to you! :)

I have spent a day writing these, so I apologise if the quality’s really low. Fasting doesn’t really help, either XD

I answered 24 here for another person here, so you can go read it (AO3 version here). I answered six for you as a separate post here (and there’s also an AO3 version). And finally, here’s twenty two (which is also available on AO3): “Sorry.You’re the first person I’ve spoken to in ten years.” I’ve called the piece ‘Herbal Tea’. Yep, it’s one of those.

And yes, I answered them all, because I couldn’t help myself. A massive shoutout to @skarhead and @jostaart, though, because I trawled through their brilliant blogs for inspiration, and these three drarry fics are the result. Whilst they’re based on the prompt, not particular artwork, @skarhead and @jostaart was crucial for bringing my ideas to life! And um, I got a little carried away with this one, so some of it’s under a cut. I hope you enjoy it, and that it’s not completely boring. Here goes:

The November air is chilly, although the temperature isn’treally anything new to Harry, living in Britain. There’s something distinctlydifferent about it to October, though, and he takes a moment to pause andbreathe it in. He’s been doing that more and more; taking a moment to pause. Heneeds it nowadays, especially; ever since declining the position of Head Aurorand resigning completely, the press has been swarming around him insistently,which is a feat considering how much they regularly pester him about thecontinued absence of any romantic relationship. Hermione does her best to keepthem away, but it’s his problem to deal with, and deal with it he does.

Self-care is something he’s been neglecting for years now,trying to stay above everyone else’sstandards rather than his own. He should’ve been able to move on from the war,but his Mind Healer tells him that by throwing himself into the path of theDark Arts for a living, he’s been forcing himself to hang on to those toxicmemories. Well, not anymore, and he feels no obligation to explain it to anyoneapart from his friends and family, who wholeheartedly agree with him. At leasthe’s done that right.

Harry is rudely yanked out of his thoughts by someonerunning into him, full force. The weight of the person topples him over, andHarry is ready to give them a piece of his mind, before he looks up at a facethat, whilst having matured since he saw it last, is still shockingly familiar.

“…Malfoy?!” Ifthere was one person that would not have been found in Muggle Manchester, ofall places, it would be Draco Malfoy. Not only because Malfoy Manor was inWiltshire, and not even because he was in a Muggle area rather than a wizardingarea, but because Malfoy hadn’t been seenfor years. Most people assumed that he’d either remained reclusive within hisown house, or that he’d moved. Some hoped that he’d been dealt with, Harrybeing the polar opposite; he’d tried to find Malfoy multiple times, and forvarious reasons, with no success. He’d stopped himself from searching MalfoyManor, because it would’ve looked obsessive, and Ron and Hermione were alreadyworried for him.

And now, here he is, on top of Harry, looking terrified. Heclutches Harry’s jacket, and blurts:

“Potter, I know you hate me, but I will pay you whatever youwant to just get me out of here.” Hisvoice is rough and hoarse, and he seems more surprised than Harry is at hearingthose words. Harry wants to ask more, but at that moment, he hears the firstyell.

Malfoy’s crystal grey eyes look desperately into Harry’s,and something in him compels him to wrap one arm around the platinum blonde andDisapparate – straight to his house, which is under the Fidelius Charm. There’sno turning back now; Malfoy knows the location of his home.

Speaking of Malfoy, the man is passed out on his sofa. Hishair is expertly ruffled, and falls in waves around his angular face. He’slean; too lean, as if he hasn’t been eating well. Whilst he wears designerclothes (Muggle, strangely enough), it’s apparent that he’s been wearing themfor too long.

As dishevelled as he is, Malfoy still manages to look…angelic, almost, which is unsettling,because Malfoy is not an angel in any way. He decides to leave him for now,although questions are buzzing about his mind. Harry knows from experience thatit’s never a good idea to dwell on such thoughts, or to bombard a person withquestions after they’ve passed out.

Harry instead decides to make some hot drinks. Luna showedhim a wonderful recipe for various herbal teas that work different calmingeffects into a person, so Harry begins brewing a certain tea that has specialsoothing properties. Harry loses himself in the rhythm of stirring and addingingredients, to the extent that he doesn’t notice Malfoy until the blonde isstanding next to him. He says nothing, choosing to let Malfoy speak when he’scomfortable to.

It’s a surreal situation; standing in a cosy kitchen, thepeaceful aroma of herbal tea filling the air, with Malfoy by his side. It’s notunwelcome, though; Harry finds that he doesn’t mind the company. Malfoy clearshis throat.

“You may possibly have the most uncomfortable couch I’ve ever crashed on, Potter.” His voice isweak, but his tone strong, and Harry is briefly reminded of a darker time, andthe words, ‘I can’t be sure’. Hepushes it from his mind, and addresses Malfoy.

“Nice to see you haven’t changed, Malfoy.” He says itquietly, but Malfoy freezes at the words for a second, before replying.

“Sorry. You’re the first person I’ve spoken to in tenyears.” Harry drops the spoon, startled; he’s not expecting to hear that at all. Malfoy deftly catches thespoon, though, and takes over brewing. “That’s quite an advanced magical tearecipe you’re making, Potter,” he says absentmindedly. “Consider me impressed.”

Harry still hasn’t quite absorbed the information, and heknows it’s a bad idea to ask, but he does it nonetheless.

“Malfoy…what do you mean, first person you’ve spoken to inten years?” Harry speaks slowly and hesitantly, not sure how Malfoy is going toreact. The blonde simply scoffs.

“Potter, I’m not an injured kitten. You don’t need to usethat tone with me.”

“Sorry.”

“You’re still doing it.”

“Sorry?” Harry doesn’t want to overstep his boundaries; heneeds to avoid Malfoy closing off. The kitchen is quiet for a minute or so, thesilence broken only by the soft swish of the tea being stirred.

“Thanks, though,”Malfoy says after a while, his voice softer than before. “for helping me getout of there. But I don’t want you to treat me like a trauma victim.”

Harry doesn’t know if it’s right to respond, so he doesn’t,but gets two mugs out of the cupboard. Malfoy pours the drinks, appearingrelaxed, but Harry doesn’t believe that he’s just suddenly alright.

“Yeah, okay. But I’m not going to tell anyone anything youtell me. What you say here stays here, I swear. So, try to trust me, even ifit’s only for now. Please.” Malfoy sighs.

“Do you have a better place to talk?”

*

Snowflakes fall lightly, and lights twinkle in the distanceas he and Malfoy sip their hot drinks out on the balcony.

The balcony is one of the perks of Harry’s home, one hewasn’t quite expecting. It’s spacious, and with a few waterproof charms,warming charms, as well as a few select beanbags, it’s become one of hisfavourite spots in the house.

“And I just stopped trying. There were so many people afterme. I would stay over at Blaise’s, or Pansy’s, or Greg’s, never sayinganything, but they were probably the only reason I survived. It was never safeenough, though; I had to keep moving constantly.”

“The DMLE got rid of all the members, though; we trackedthem all down. It was a major investigation at the time.” Malfoy laughsbitterly.

“The Aurors got rid of the main body. They had hired peopleto carry out their dirty work for them. As you know, some of the leaders werein too high a position to have each target killed personally. The people afterme were some of those employees, still intent on revenge.” Harry groans,frustrated.

“This is a whole other issue. How many were there?” Malfoy’slooking out over the other buildings, and something about the sight draws Harryto him.

“About thirty-five,” he says. Harry can’t believe thatMalfoy was able to survive that many trained killers after him especially. He’sabout to reply, when Malfoy continues. “I don’t blame them. I can’t beforgiven.”

“Malfoy-”

“Draco. Call meDraco. We aren’t kids anymore.”

“Draco,” Harry corrects himself, turning to face himproperly. “the people hunting down ex Death Eaters are the ones in the wrong.It’s the kind of behaviour that started a war in the first place. And I forgaveyou years ago; you are most definitelycapable of being forgiven, but you have to forgive yourself first. No-one else can do that for you.”

Draco chuckles.

“When did you become so sappy, Potter?” Harry rolls hiseyes. Of course Draco isn’t going to take it seriously. These are words comingfrom him after all.

“If I get to call you Draco, you get to call me Harry.”Draco shoots him a pointed look.

“Fine then, Harry;where is this all coming from? Younger you probably would’ve told me that Iabsolutely can’t be forgiven and thatI’m being pathetic. What changed?”

“I grew up,” Harry answers seriously.

“You mean you grew older.You’re still really freaking short,” Draco teases.

“Shut up,” Harrygrumbles in response, but he’s smiling.

*

“Are you sure about this?” Draco asks sceptically, surveyingthe room. It’s well furnished, with an ensuite and all. A king-sized bed stands proudly in the centre, with lusciousred curtains surrounding the four-poster bed.

“Draco, Narcissa wantsyou to stay with me. I’m not going to say no to her. And besides, now that youaren’t as bigoted, you’re actually a decent person.” Draco sighs in defeat,answering back nonetheless.

“Since when were youso chummy with my mother?” heretorts. But Draco full well knows that this is the safest place for him. Hismother was brave enough to approach the Saviourof the Wizarding World, of all people, and who’s Draco to say no to somerefuge?

Plus, Harry himself is a bonus. Gone is the scrawny,righteous kid that Draco always despised. He’s not actually grown that muchtaller, but it suits him. Years of Auror work have served him well, buildingsome muscle and defining his jawline, and Draco has found himself staring moretimes than he’s comfortable with.

“Are you really going to throw a fuss about this?” Harry asks with an eyebrowraised, and Draco smiles sweetly.

“Of course not, oh Saviour.” Harry punches him in the armlightly.

“I’ve told you not to call me that, Ferret.”

“Whatever you say, GoldenBoy.”

“Prat.”

“Scarhead.”

“Are you two really bickering at this age?” Narcissa says, appearing from the stairs. “Anyonewould’ve thought you two were still schoolboys. Now,” she says, addressingDraco, “are you all settled in?”

“Yes, Mother,” Draco replies, earning a look from Harry.Narcissa doesn’t seem to notice this when she turns to him.

“Please tell me if he causes any sort of trouble. I know howpicky he can be.” Draco splutters.

“Mother!” Narcissa only smiles knowingly at her son,sweeping him into a hug.

“You know I love you, Draco. Stay safe for me, darling.”Draco hugs her back for a long moment, flooded by how much he’s missed her. Shepulls back and looks at him. “You’re safe; Harry Potter is looking after you.”

And aren’t those just the words that he never imagined hewould hear?

*

The first time Harry wakes up next to Draco is over a monthlater, on Christmas Day. Well, wake upis relative term. It’s much more accurate to say that he’s forced awake by aparticularly grouchy Draco yelling in his ear. He opens his eyes blearily tofind that he’s lying on Draco’s chest, arms wrapped out around him. Harry turnsa bright red and scrambles back, embarrassed and confused.

“Draco? What are you doing in my bed?” Draco’s cheeks becomea matching shade of red.

“You forgot to put up those Silencing Charms last night.” Oh shit. “You were screaming, and I cameto wake you up, but you, uh…you seemed to want me to stay. So I did.”

If the ground could just open up and swallow him, that wouldbe wonderful.

“Yeah, um…sorry about that.” Draco rolls his eyes.

“Don’t fucking apologise, Harry; it was my own decision.”Harry tries to respond, but ends up yawning, making Draco smile a little.

“What time is it, anyway?” Harry asks, rubbing his eyes inan attempt to feel more awake. It doesn’t work.

“Six a.m.,” Draco replies smoothly.

“What?! Why the hell would you wake me up so early,Draco?” Harry complains, but Draco simply leaves the room. Harry follows him,demanding an explanation. They end up in the living room together, where Dracopoints to a present under the tree that Harry is certain wasn’t there before.It’s addressed to him. Harry hesitantly picks it up.

“I don’t know if you’re waiting for next Christmas,” Dracodrawls, “but I’d recommend you open it.” Harry doesn’t say anything, butcarefully pulls the ribbon off, and not-so-delicately gets rid of the wrappingpaper. Inside is a perfectly sculpted crystal snow globe, with two miniaturefigures inside it, sitting on a balcony and sipping drinks. Harry stares at it,transfixed.

“Here,” Draco says, gently twisting a key on the side of theglobe. Soft music begins to play, and the figures rotate slowly.

“Draco,” Harry breathes. “It’s…it’s gorgeous. You didn’t have to…”

“I thought it would look good on the mantelpiece,” heresponds simply, placing it there himself. He turns back to Harry, trying togauge Harry’s next move. “Well…Merry Christm-oof!” Harry tackles him to the ground in a bearhug, and they staylike that, until Harry pulls back slightly.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m frankly still knackered.Wanna get some more sleep?” Draco grins at him in a way that makes Harry’sheart clench ever-so-slightly.

He doesn’t know whatit is exactly, but Harry does knowthat this is the beginning of something great.

As they go back to bed, comfortable in each other’s embrace,snowflakes begin to fall softly outside, just like on the very first day thatthe universe threw Harry and Draco back together.

Yes, it was fricking long. Hope you liked it, though! Have a lovely day

[g-on-ef]

When it comes to celebrities

"DoNt aSSumE tHEir SeXuALItIEs"- unless we are talking about them being link to the opposite sex than yes believe they are 100% straight

"YoU doNT kNoW theM STop ASsUmIng"- unless it involves them living to heterosexual standards than yes continue assuming

"I LoVE tHEir fRiEndSHIp"- whenever we talk about two people of the same sex acting and doing the same a heterosexual couple {who are dating btw} does

"OmG lOOk at THeM ThEY LooK so CuTE thEYre In LOVE" two people of the opposite gender smiling at each other and nothing else

... ... ... ... So let me get this straight {pun intended} I can't say there's a chance xyz celebrity might be queer but y'all can go ahead and tell me they're straight

Even though both sides shouldn't assume their sexuality unless they stated it but nope only one side gets ridicule and called crazy while the other doesn't

I'll let y'all figure out which side is which

[yakumtsaki]

There’s no easy way to say this so I’m just gonna come right out with it: welcome to the most morbid post in Union history. Half the family is getting wiped out in a single update and I don’t mean to point fingers, but it’s 100% Wyatt’s fault. I really need someone to blame so don’t dare try to take this away from me.

Back to the present and not the corpse-filled near future, we actually have some money to spend on our spawn for the first time ever, so Shajar gets a non-completely-depressing room. No more eating from the cat bowl for our kids!

..spoke too soon.

-Is it still there, is it still there??

-YES omg it just looked right at me! Vic! I’m scared!

-Don’t make eye contact with it you fool! Don’t you have any idea about how children work??

After not getting promoted for an eon, Jojo is suddenly killing it, two promotions in a row!

-I know, I was starting to fear I’d be one of those geniuses who are only recognized after death- UGH, what is that obnoxious sound?

That’s your infant child screaming because it was abandoned on the cold hard floor the entire night.

-Oh ok, so standard parenting. For a minute I thought something was wrong.

-There, there, you’re alright. Ok.. OK seriously, stop. God, have some dignity for once in your 12-hour life. Crying in public is so embarrassing.

-NEEEEEEO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Yup. I’ve been so focused on feeding Victor and Alegra’s ancient asses from the bowl of life that I forgot Neo was an elder too, so he’s the first to go even though he’s way younger than them, great job @ me. Goodbye Neo 💔 You were such a good boy, our cat heir, and an integral part in achieving Komei’s life-ruining LTW. You will be sorely missed.

..Apparently by your archenemy Victor most of all. Vicky casually walked off the lot the minute Neo died with no notifications about running away, only to return on his own shortly after. Wtf is going on in this house.

-I had to contemplate the futility of hate.. All this time wasted trying to kill each other and for what.. It's a sunrise and a sunset from a cradle to a casket.

Yea or this lot is already glitched as fuck and it’s only generation 2. Good times.

I was very bummed out by Neo’s premature demise and not in the mood for another kid, but one peek at Jojo and Wyatt’s life bars convinced me to drop the mourning period and circle-of-life this bitch. They are extremely not getting any younger and who tf do I think I am? Someone who knows better than Mufasa?However since a) Jojo is nowhere near his 100k LTW and can’t be taking days off and b) and more importantly, I hate Wyatt, guess who’s carrying this time around!

OH COME ON

GODFUCKINGDAMMIT WYATT

-Huhu!

How the hell did this happen I DEMAND TO KNOW

-Check how your mods work in le futur, idiόt!

..well you got me there.

Jo you are ON FIRE, 3/3! Maybe we can actually complete this 100k bullshit before you’re on death’s doorstep. It’s gonna be close tho, but you know, you just HAD to get knocked up again, so that’s on you.

-No, it’s on YOU.

No, it’s ON WYATT. Let’s just not point fingers and move on, ok? Everyone is equally to blame.

-NO THEY’RE NOT

I’VE MOVED ON I CAN’T HEAR YOU

And now a section I like to call: What the entire fuck is happening. VICTORIA WHAT ARE YOU DOING

-What?? I love babies :)

I legit went back and checked, can you guess how many times Victoria autonomously interacted with any of her kids when they were babies/toddlers? If you had EXACTLY ONE TIME you win..nothing. There are no winners here.

Oh. my. god. 

-Stop hogging her already, I wanna feed her too!

-WELL WAIT YOUR TURN DICK. No, not you, baby bobo booboo.. 

We’ve had our fair share of plot twists around here but this is truly some fucked up shit. In case you don’t get what the big deal is, enjoy this little trip down memory lane aka the Victoria-Komei-parenting-hall-of-fame. Either the ‘age mellows people out’ thing applies to sims too or they got personality transplants when I wasn’t looking. Disturbing.

Of course SOME THINGS never change, no matter how life-ruining for all involved.

-Is this about my LTW, STILL? It’s been like 20 years, GET OVER IT

NEVER

Whachu doing Vic?

-Updating my will to include Komei now that I suddenly love him. Of course someone has to get cut to make that happen..

Well goodbye Daniel I guess!

-..Who the fuck is Daniel?

-I too am making preparations for when I leave this cruel world.

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and assume they’re cat-related.

-NO, not everything is about cats! I have plenty of other interests and concerns. 

Name one.

-My beloved son! I’m making sure he takes care of my cats.

Finally, this family’s excellence is starting to be recognized. It’s about time.

-Yea no, this is a recognition that you trainwrecks need all the help you can get.

UGH typical jealous hater bullshit, I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.

Ok, I’ve some idea what you’re talking about. Honestly what else has to happen for me to just. stop fucking throwing kid’s birthday parties? I’m pretty sure we’ve had..one that wasn’t a straight up disaster? God knows those glory days aren’t returning any time soon.

-I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m having a blast :D

Of course you are Gunther, you haven’t been sober since the third year of college.

AND SOME PEOPLE ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THAT. ABSOLUTELY NOT. HALF ALIEN PROF ISTFG

-I’m legit fine with this :)

I legit don’t care, it’s not happening in our sacred home. Also BRIT IS RIGHT THERE JFC you’ve gotten stupid as shit.

You guys seriously, what sins am I paying for, why can’t we have ONE NORMAL NON-INCESTUOUS PARTY. JUST ONE. Daniel heartfarting over his ex, ok, not that weird. Komei heartfarting over his daughter-in-law..getting weird. Gunther heartfarting over Half Alien Prof..reaching for the chlorine to bleach my eyes and then immediately drink.

Nice, get in on that action Wyatt! We almost forgot about your long standing boner for your brother-in-law.

Happy birthday, Shajar! You’re welcome for this amazing party, pay me back by not being ugly.

..yea ok. You did your best with the tools you were given. And I mean the literal giant tools that are your parents. Hopefully Wyatt came through with his somewhat balanced personality???

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. OH MAN. 10 playful, 9 active and 1 nice? Literally sporting Jigsaw’s personality. I mean darling Jojo has 3 nice points and is..how he is, can’t even imagine what Shajar is gonna grow up to be like, but it’s good to know we’re moving in the exact opposite direction than intended.

-Enjoyed your kid’s birthday party, you cheating bastard? WELL PARTY’S OVER

-I may be a cheating bâtard-

-SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH YOUR SELECTIVE FRENCH ACCENT

AW Neo’s ghost making its first appearance and trying to kill Wyatt, what a sweetheart. Welcome to the party!

It was one for the history books! 

-How on earth did this party suck, I had an exceptional time.

Yea that’s because you weren’t there, it’s easy to have an exceptional time away from this family. Of course I have never personally experienced it but the mind does race.

-AH at last, my article is published! Oh, editor’s pick too, ha, of course. No, wait, editor’s warning.. As requested by the legal department? Drama queens. “Horrifying views expressed.. Widely discredited.. Not endorsed in any way by this publication.. DERIVATIVE??!!” Well, I know what I’m doing this weekend.

Is it.. rewriting your article?

-Oh, I’ll rewrite it alright. IN BLOOD

Great. Speaking of blood-

-Victor’s thirst for it is back with a vengeance. We went an entire 4 days without a cat fight and I was all like ‘woo new record’ but one thing has become clear since then:

Victor didn’t go away to contemplate shit. He was waiting..plotting..training..and now the time has come for Victor 2: Reign of Blood.

-WHERE’S YOUR GOD NOW??

Seems about right. Honestly Sophie is the wisest one among us because she got tfo just in time to miss THIS:

Yea, unsurprisingly fucking Damien here is one vicious screamer. WHAT DO YOU WANT

-YOUR SOULS

Good luck finding any in this house.

-Who’s my cute little spawn of satan? Who is? Come to grandma baby.

-ONE SMALL STEP FOR ME, ONE GIANT LEAP TOWARDS THE ANNIHILATION OF MANKIND

Wyatt continues to do nothing of use all day and is not even getting promoted anymore due to his tragic lack of skill points. Somehow that led me to deciding he should be the one to get the genie wishes, I honestly dk wtf my problem is.

-Greetings, mortal etc etc. I’m gonna skip over the intro, you know the deal with the dealio, 3 wishes, let’s hit it.

-I was expectànt more of an Aladdin flair but c’est bien I guess..

-DON’T DARE MENTION THAT MOVIE TO ME YOU FRENCH ASSHOLE

-Um, oui, your désir c’est my command..Huhu! 

-Is one of your wishes the return of your brain, because you should throw that in there.

-Non, non. C’est but one wish in mon coeur, Genié. To nevér, evér have to interact with my bébés but still have beaucoup of them.. In case you can’t tell, I am sim de famille!

-Ugh yea, that much is obvious.

-Well, your wish is granted, mortal! Let me just flick your nose as hard as I can and we’re done here..

-Pourquoi?

-Oh no reason, just for my own pleasure. Buh-bye!

-And with that, he turned into la fumée, mon cheri! Incrediblé!

-I hate my life.

That makes two of us. As in I hate your life too, my life is pretty good.

KOMEI DO YOU MIND WITH YOUR DANGEROUS CURVES, Jojo has a grueling skilling schedule to keep up with.

-So this is it. Rock bottom. 

I mean, you wanted to be heir boo, you got it. It’s a dirty job.

Finally one of the Mortal Kombat cats lives up to its name! GET FUCKED VICTOR

-K.O

Well, we all saw that coming. Victor seriously, you’re like 50yo, don’t do this.

-I’m outta here for the fourth time bitches, and this time I’m not coming back! No man is an island but this cat is.

Ok, see you soon.

Wyatt’s wish is definitely coming true, he has not touched Shajar a single time yet, autonomously or otherwise! What a guy.

-I HAVE NO USE FOR EARTHLY FATHERS, THE ONE I NEED AWAITS US ALL IN HELL

It’s gonna be a long fucking generation.

-WYATT. WYATT YOU DAMN MORON WAKE UP

-Ugh Jojό, I told you, my magique protects me from all bébé interactiόn.

-DOES IT PROTECT YOUR TORSO FROM MULTIPLE STAB WOUNDS

It’s a girl! I’m like why stray from a proven formula, so I name her Cyneswith after another Crusader Kings character, who did not exist irl like Shajar but was still a fire emoji empress of Britannia. Welcome to the shitshow Cyneswith! No offense, it was great to meet you, but we have some important shit to do so..have fun on the floor?

FUCKING FINALLY. It’s promotions only from now on boo! 

..Which is more than I can say for some people. Wyatt seriously, can you move your useless ass up the ladder already so we can avoid having this freak in our house EVERY SINGLE DAY.

-The boy’s just following his heart ;)

Half Alien Prof you are by far the biggest pervert I’ve ever had in this game and Jojo spent his entire teenagehood trying to start a bdsm relationship with Stephen Tinker.

Well, Victor predictably died off lot, which is so on brand for him I’m not even mad. An insufferable dick to the very end, he lived to eat and to start fights with every animal he ever came in contact with. He only ever really loved Victoria. I’m gonna miss him so much.

Victor may have died, but that’s not going to stop the police department from trying to return him to us. Just remember that that place is under Wyatt’s supervision and it all makes sense.

Can hardly wait, Professional Make-Up Cop.

-I want to play a game, Alegra.

Man is someone gunning to be put up for adoption!

-Papa’s birthday présent to you, Shajar, is us finally meeting! Breathe it in, mon favori, I’ll be seeing you again on your next anniversaire!

-Wyatt I swear to fucking god, I will stab you.

Can we get this going please, I’m in NO MOOD.

Not bad at all! A pretty even mix of Wyatt/Jojo and I see you def did not get the Komei jaw, which is pretty much angels singing.

-Angels singing makes my eyes roll in the back of my skull. 

You make my eyes roll in the back of my skull.

-What?

What. I didn’t say anything. Love you Shaj!

-One more for the road babe? After 50 years?

Yea. Just pretend everything that follows has a broken heart emoji before and after each word.

I dress Vic up and have her wait for Death in the living room like a lady, none of those ‘dying in the bathroom in my underwear’ deaths, befitting people like Wyatt. However ideal the circumstances as far as death goes, my heart still broke in more pieces than cats Komei has petted.

-VICTORIA UNION

-Marisa? Is that you?

-NO, IT’S-wow cool armchair, where did you get-no, sorry, you’re dying and all, let me start over..

-VICTORIA UNION, YOUR TIME HAS COME. I’M HERE TO COLLECT YOUR WRETCHED SOUL

-What? My soul is not wretched jerkoff, the fuck you talking about?

-THAT’S JUST A THING WE SAY BECAUSE IT SOUNDS COOL, PLEASE DON’T RUIN IT

-HERE’S YOUR COMPLIMENTARY VIRGIN MARGARITA

-Virgin??? Oh god, I’m going to hell aren’t I?

-YOU WERE, BUT YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER MADE SOME CALLS ON YOUR BEHALF. WELCOME TO HEAVEN

-Yes, I can taste the alcohol in this! GOING GONE, BITCHES. LATES

The stacks of simoleons DID NOT EASE MY PAIN. I do love that Daniel got the most final version of ‘and none for Gretchen Weiners, bye’ possible.

Jojo is fucking devastated and immediately rolls the want to resurrect Vic. It’s bummy af, I’m not even gonna go for the obvious oedipal jokes, he was just crying for days and days and days..

Komei, on the other hand, WAS NOT.

-Eh, I’ll be seeing her soon enough, why waste the tears.

Now that I think about it Komei has never cried about any of the cats either, I think he’s just the type of person who deals with grief by suppressing it. Whatever works.

Jojo and Wyatt are always having these fashion talks whenever they’re eating which are hilarious because I can see Wyatt being into it, I mean he’s french, but in what world is fucking nerd Jojo interested in clothing. Not even that can cheer him up now 💔

Fucking Florence, bringer of doom, returns Sophie to us and the moment she does:

Tell me how am supposed to live without you, now that I've been loving you so long, how am I supposed to live without you, how am I supposed to carry on, when all that I've been living for.. is gone 💔

FUCK YOU FLORENCE

Jfc the blows just won’t stop coming. LEAVE US ALONE WE’RE IN MOURNING

Time for Cyneswith’s depressing ass birthday which I can’t give less of a fuck about, and apparently neither can Wyatt but then again he wouldn’t even if we weren’t ~back to black.

Loving the hairstyle but it does look ridic on a toddler. Good for you for committing to your british aristocracy character tho, very Downton Abbey.

Well the Komei jaw always knocks twice and apparently we let it in this time. Are you beautiful on the inside Cyneswith?

OH. MY. FUCK. BYE. CYNESWITH YOU FUCKING FREAK

-Huhu! 

NO SHE GOT THE HUHU. GOD HELP US

Cyneswith dramatically enters the toddler stage by immediately going into aspiration failure.. You can all guess where this is going.

-KOMEI UNION YOUR TIME HAS COME. I’M HERE TO COLLECT YOUR-

-Yea yea whatever, are my cats waiting for me? If you say no I will literally kill myself.

-I DON’T THINK YOU’RE GRASPING THE CORE CONCEPT OF DEATH, BUT YES THEY ARE WAITING.

-I’M OUT. TELL THE WOLF I LOVED HIM

KOMEI 💔 I’m sorry but we will not be delivering that message.

Apparently Jojo and Komei legit bonded at some point?? I was expecting like a half-hearted sigh but instead we got sobbing-

-and this sum that does not imply ‘least favorite kid’ AT ALL.

Well you know how the old saying goes: nothing will ever replace your parents but a helicopter will come close. 

Also in mourning: this breakdancer npc that randomly appeared on our lot and stayed stuck there for 2 days before I finally batboxed her into oblivion. This lot is fuuuucked y’all.

And generation 1 is officially over. Rest in peace Komei and Victoria, legacy founders, horrible spouses and somehow even worse parents. You stuck it out and were fun to play till the very end. I’ll really miss you guys 💔