#stonesinger

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[boombox-fuckboy]

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[feyrianedoesart]

"Habibi, light is burning As I am yearning" Larimar Stonesinger praying Irohly... and also asking her to take care of a special someone - fellow bard Zelfar !

[feyriane]

Vrenne (me) and Larimar Stonesinger (@ocean-in-a-pond) by amazing @feliville (Patreon reward)

[phlegmboymessiah]

I CANNOT wait for the next episode of The Stonesinger Chronicles I've been on the edge of my seat since I finished it a month ago and then when listened to season two today !!! It's some of the best writing I've heard in a while

[ailendolin]

Live Reaction to TRoP 2x05

lovely transition there right at the beginning from the mountain to the ring

speaking of rings, I think the rough design suits the dwarven rings very well but I still wish the elven rings looked more elegant

the rings are whispering! This is not good

Durin is still being highly skeptical, I see. I love him so much. He and Elrond need to meet up asap so they can bitch about their people not listening to them together

foundation wall, huh? Whatever could go wrong?

okay, nothing this time, I suppose. But this is how they're eventually going to get in trouble with the Balrog, isn't it? Because of the ring

"Khazad!" "Dûm!" Literal chills there

Celebrimbor! I've missed you!

Lol not Mirdania giving Annatar a little pat on the back

Doors of Durin my beloved! Such an iconic part of Middle-Earth!

I love the easy friendship between the elves and the dwarves, the gentle teasing. Different times, just as Gandalf said

oh and now Celebrimbor is patting his arm and look, Annatar is reacting to it. Interesting

btw there is something so tragic about Celebrimbor and Annatar's scenes because you can clearly see how Annatar plays him and Celebrimbor just wants to do good. He is so kind and gentle and just happy to be in his workshop creating things, and Annatar slowly but surely poisons that beautiful mind

Annatar name-dropping Earendil, Tuor and Beren ... I see what you're doing and I hate that it's working. I suppose "finding men we can trust" will include Pharazon and this will all lead to Annatar going to Numenor before or at the end of the season, right?

"I shall make the Nine myself." Celebrimbor, please wake up. Please. That's a huge red flag right there

have I mentioned that have a soft spot for Kemen? I don't know why but he's just a pawn in his father's game and I feel sorry for him. That mention of his mother and "coming to an ill end" was just cruel

that being said I'm obviously Team Elendil & Miriel. I love these two so much

the way he looks at her hand on his chest. I'm crying

"Captain leaving deck." Valandil, I love you. Point well made

"He's nobody's captain now." That remark is gonna get you a punch in the face, Kemen. I just know it

okay, it wasn't a literal punch, but hey now he knows that loyalty cannot be ordered. It is earned, and Elendil has earned that of his men, whether he is still their captain or not

the letter. Ouch. But good to know letters from Eregion can reach Lindon but not the other way around

yessss Gil-galad, please hesitate. Don't send your armada just yet

ELROND! CAMNIR! My little elven mission group is back and being dramatic as shit! I love them! Run, Elrond, run!

also that dramatic variation of Elrond's theme briefly in the background there? Gorgeous!

oh, interesting that Durin and Disa seem to have switched sides now, with Durin having come to believe in the ring's power and Disa cautioning against using it

lol Disa bargaining and Durin knowing he stands no chance once his wife has set her mind of something. I love these two so much

oh no, that geode rolling into some dark, ominous corner cannot be good

stonesinging!

fuck, is that the Balrog?

how have I never noticed before that there is gold in Durin III's beard? That's so pretty

ooooh more alluding to the rings being corrupted by drawing parallels to Bilbo's panic when he thought the Ring gone

and Durin III saying the ring felt heavy plays into that too

"Disa is mistaken. There is no danger." Famous last words

also can I just say I love that Durin has this unwavering faith in his wife? Disa says there's a nameless evil under the mountain and he believes her, no questions asked

can I get a print of those Doors of Durin sketches Celebrimbor has in his forge? Pretty please? Amazon, where's the goddamn merch?

okay, Celebrimbor grabbing that hammer out of the air? Can we have more of that please?

also not Sauron experimenting with rings making people invisible already

Durin saving the day. Thank the Valar for his arrival (I am immensely enjoying Sauron quietly seething because he once again did not get his way btw)

thank you Durin for calling out Annatar on his bullshit. I wish it were enough to wake up Celebrimbor

"a far green country under a swift sunrise." Don't make me cry

"How does it feel to have a daughter who's ashamed of you?" Kemen is really begging to get punched this episode

he is going to smash that relic, isn't he?

YES! Thank you, Elendil! Finally! Not exactly the "calm in the eye of the storm" Miriel asked you to be but totally valid reaction

lol Valandil is not pulling any punches here. I love him so much. He's so done with Kemen's bullshit

I would have tackled Kemen into the water, btw. Though arm-breaking is good too, I guess

not Elendil calling Valandil "son". I swear he adopts everyone he meets on sight (when is it Elrond's turn? Please, show, give me Dad!Elendil to Elrond because the Valar know Gil-galad isn't living up to the job)

Kemen's going to stab him in the back, isn't he?

fuck he is! I hate being right. That's it, Kemen, soft spot for you is gone. Fuck you

the way Elendil is stroking Valandil's face, I can't. I'm sobbing

"Just be mindful someone is not manipulating you." Fuck you, Annatar. Seriously. The audacity

Celebrimbor, let me hug you. The strength it took him to ask if Annatar had altered the rings. He does not want to believe it but his heart is telling him something is wrong

and Annatar is turning the tables around on him by implying he is not blameless and oh, that is so clever it hurts

him telling Celebrimbor to go to Lindon is the first sound advice he's given. Yes, go to Lindon. Go to Elrond where you are safe. Please, Celebrimbor, just leave

(I know he won't but one can hope, right? I desperately want him to be safe because he's nothing more than a pawn and it's going to break him when he realises he has been played all along and I'm not ready for that)

nooo not Durin III telling Durin he is proud of him because of the ring

Disa and Durin's desperation and helpnessness are breaking my heart

oh Celebrimbor. You know it is wrong. You know it

aaaaaand Adar is on the doorstep of Ost-in-Edhil

I have a feeling this is the last shot we'll get of the city before it falls into ruin

ELROND! There is not enough Elrond in this episode

the way Gil-galad sounds so hopeless (those visions? Sauron in his armour that we know so well? Are we talking Last Alliance here?) and Elrond has once again come too late and is not heard. I am going insane. Elrond will gather his own army and go to Eregion, won't he? Out of desperation? Because no one else will take action

yessss Sauron's exes are unionising

well, maybe they are. We're going to find out next week. This was a great episode. I love this foreboding feeling that is hanging over it all. Everything is going wrong and feeling hopeless, and we all know it's only going to get worse

[thestonesingerchronicles]

I’m very excited to announce that The Stonesinger Chronicles is returning for season 2! For those of you who are fans of darker or horror oriented podcasts out there this season might be the thing that gets you into the show.

Here is a description of the season:

Six souls are trapped in the depths of the treacherous land called The Web. They are stranded, the bridge to the main route destroyed. They have nothing in common except their flight from a madman, their distrust of one another, and their desire to survive. But if they wish to survive, they must learn to work together.

All hold secrets.

All have desires.

And all wonder about the eldritch land they are trapped in.

Meanwhile, a lone scribe - the last of their order - isolates themself to read over documents hidden deep in the archives of The Church of Deepstone. They search for answers, but flee a threat of their own.

All search for the answers this mysterious land poses.

And all must sacrifice to The Carnage of Dreams.

For more information and a little sneak peak, here is an announcement that includes 5 minutes of the first episode

[nikomedes]

the idea that dwarves wouldnt like druidry is such a dumb fantasy dichotomy thing btw. even setting aside the complex subterranean ecosystems that exist, the stone? what u can’t be a druid tied to stone bc its not “alive”? are u joking me? with all its beautiful variety and its constancy and its violent potential and its mineralization of fossils and its CAVES? fuck off. me and gregnor stonesinger out here grinding paint pigments and sliding between geologic layers with soul-deep reverence. if u even care

[celebrimbor-apologist]

ROP Liveblog 2x05

Spoilers ahead and so much screaming I am UNWELL.

WHAT THE DUCK IS THAT PROMO PHOTO OF CELEBRIMBOR AND HIS HANDS why is he looking at his hands like that please please what what 

I love the dwarven themes so much 

Oh hi dwarven dad 

King Durin! What do your dwarf eyes see? Uh oh. He’s mad. And he was RIGHT. 

OH SO THAT’S HOW THE DOORS OF MORIA HAPPEN ALSO MUSIC??? MUSICCCCCC!

Oh they have light again! And the Theme Music comes baaaack!!! 

Tyeple is so happy. This is so cute omg. 

Oh FUCK it’s the holly outfit. I repeat it's the holly outfit we're in endgame now.

Narvi 

OKAY MIRDANIA WHY ARE YOU STANDING NEXT TO SAURON WHAT UP do not- 

THE DOORS OF DURIN OMG Known only to smiths. 

Omg Narvi Celebrimbor frends I am so down. he is so happy and Annatar is making it all about him now.

I do not recall you saying that “You do not always listen” Oh Annatar i am going to-

Manipulative BASTARD

Like, Celebrimbor you are SO CLOSE to the truth there, “it is a game you play” 

Give it to him Tyelpe. 

Annatarrrrrrrrrrr I need to bite something 

“We find men we can trust” 

Celebrimbor really doesn’t want to go on. 

“I shall make the nine myself” WHOP WE CALLED IT. 

(guys I think my phone just broke whelp)

Oh Hi Númenor

Kevin Kemen shush

Elendil <3 Míriel <3 

GIRLIEPOP

“You are walking a treacherous path” “And yours is made of seawater. Take care to keep your feet beneath you. Its a long way to tbe bottom” SLAY ELENDIL

Oh Elendil I love you. Valandil. Valar bless you Captain. I so agree. 

Oh Kemen is so jealous. 

Phârazon stick that scepter up your-

OMG THE LETTER ARRIVED SALTY TYELPE SALTY TYELPE AND GIL GALAD IS JUST LIKE 

FUCK. 

Holy FUCK. I’m fine. I’M FINE. Gil-Galad just standing there and struggling with that vision, Elrond please barge into this room-

Meanwhile Elrond is just RUNNING. Oh please let him not be too late. Dramatic coat drop buddy your friends are gonna fall over that 

why are there only two people running with him who left Vorohil behind?? Where is he???

Ring Tribute? Holy fuck. 

UH OH. Disa. Disa- Disa run, please run please I can’t cope without you- 

the fucking ring theme Bear your MUSIC SKILLS I CAN’T. 

“It comes with a price” yeah. Yeah I thought so. 

Oh dear the ring is already fucking with him. That was so fast. 

Ancient Powerful Evil oh fuck. 

Oh Durin is suddenly no fan of the stonesingers anymore? Not a real dwarf is he’s not a fan of it. 

EREGION THE LITTLE ANVIL PAPERWEIGHT THIS IS SO TRUE

OH GOD NO 

What the fuck?? 

He is so calm <3 Dad Tyelpe <3 

Mirdania 

Okay Annatar step away Celebrimbor is the one for hugs

Oh Tyelpe. He really doesn’t want to make more rings. He really doesn’t want to. 

Oh Celebrimbor you are starting to see. You really are, aren’t you. Oh fuck you are starting to notice. Makes sense time wise but I am crying, because this is the start of the end. 

Omg Annatar BITCH WHAT 

Galadriel Comparison 

I… I dislike. I dislikeeeee-

KEMEN I FUCKING HATE YOU. 

ELENDIL YOU FUCKING KING PUNCH THAT BITTTTCCHHH

VALANDIL NO PLEASE Please no. Okay you can go fight Kemen that’s okay. 

No. no Valandil no, please no. Please no. I am sobbing, please no. 

Kemen. Kemen i will END you. I can’t even count the amount of Valar you just pissed off. 

Omg, this is so painful, they basically all think he’s losing his mind. 

Omg he asks. He asks, he literally asks I am screaming and there it is, the lie. He is lying. 

WE DID. 

Omg. 

Omg. 

Fuck. 

“You lied” I can’t. I can’t, I can’t I can’t. 

King Durin you… Fucking hell. 

I can’t, I am unwell, I am unwell I am unwell. 

He swears it <3 Surely that will end well. 

Oh Tyelpe. Oh Tyelpe. Oh love. Oh my dearest. 

Okay why does he look so close to collapse, Annatar, fuck off. Leave him be. Leave him BE. 

No, he is not unreasonable- 

Hands shaking-

Omg he is crying. Abort abort abort abort everything please 

And thus the forge has become a prison. And the orcs are at the door. 

ELROND ELROND ELROND ELROND 

Gil please. Gil please LISTEN. Eru I am so mad. Elrond just ran like crazy please, send aid anyways. I see no strategic advantage here in sending people to Mordor when you think the enemy isn’t even there. 

Guys I am so unwell I am so unwell I am so unwell I can’t. 

[land-of-holly]

Rings of Power Season 2 Episode 2 Liveblog

Okay! I'm back from work and I've watched Episode 2!

More recap - dwarves incoming!

So what influence do the black tendrils represent?

Cool flyby into Khazad-dum, and I love the dwarf marketplace!

Durin and Disa are such a sweet couple! And hey, at least Durin wasn't completely exiled

Oh man they're really murdering the scenery

Oh no the light?

Opening credits gorgeous as usual

Galadriel getting in touch with nature. Good, that girl so needs to touch some grass

Celebrimbor?? Is here???

Wait does Galadriel even speak Black speech?

Well okay surprise visions of doom in a meeting at least beats sitting bolt upright in bed.

I love every elf extra, they're great

Does Gil-galad even have a personality besides being dumb and wrong???

Tyelpe's assistant lady is so cute!

HE SAID GET LOST HAL

:o FINALLY all I wanted was for tyelpe to have some better clothes THANK YOU FOR THE FOOD!!

Oh no, assistant lady's name is 'Mirdania', that's the most 'My name just describes my function' name imaginable T_T JRRT would be so proud

omg Tyelpe has a personality and it's "I can't believe I'm answering stupid questions when I could be at the forge" <<<333

yeesh poor messenger dudes

Ooh I like the desert bgm, reminds me of Nier Automata

Wait is this place actually named Caras Gaer? In Sindarin? Who named it that? And why?

Moth cult? Evil wizard??

Oh sure. Attack his friends. Surely no one has ever tried that and had it go horribly wrong

Dude...most people get named by their parents. Valid to want to find your own name tho

Uh Poppy...short cuts make long delays

SHUT UP ABOUT THE WAND or I'm gonna start getting contrary

Girl no, do you have any idea how many hikers die each year going off trail in the desert with insufficent water??

Disa my wiffffffeeeee T_T she's so beautiful

N A R V I !!!!!!!!!! oh he's so cute!!!

Still love the Stonesinger concept

Tell him, Disa! Get his ass!

Never understood the bullying instinct tbh

Love love love how Disa is on team "Durin Sr and Durin Jr repair their stupid relationship already!!" but she speaks very differently about it to each of them.

Elrond! Watcha workin on?

A boat!

Definitely looking forward to Galadriel setting up shop in Eregion for a longer term. It'll be almost like having Unfinished Tales around...

GET HER ELROND! RIP HER APART! PULL NO PUNCHES!!

RiDe HeR tO vIcToRy???? Elrond i love you but you need to stop right now I will not warn you again

Elrond she needs help please delete his contact info from her phone for her

DON'T MAKE CIRDAN SHAVE WTF ARE YOU DOING

Okay and he's supposed to be *wise* i expect him to make an *argument* not just throw disjointed metaphors and aphorisms at the wall. Are the rings tainted or not? That's kind of the whole question!

Okay "they're safer on the fingers of elves" is the beginning of a valid position

Nori that's a stick

Ooh are those guys using spear throwers?

Wwahhhhhh Nori! Poppy! Noooo!

aaaaaaaaaaa Tyelpe is such a nerd he's so cute!

Ithildin!!

Tyelpe tell him to get off your lawn. I know your grandpa taught you how.

lol he's got his little umbrella carrier following him around and he's still soaked.

TYELPE THAT IS LITERALLY THE DEVIL TALKING. ouuuugh i'm an unappreciated genius THAT IS HOW THEY GET YOU. YOU KNOW THIS.

tyelpe you dumbass... you had one job...

The seduction begins! .....babby.........

Halbrand uses Thaumaturgy!

GOD he's SUCH a drama queen

LOL did Vilya get jealous and evict all of Gil's other bling?

Awww I like Elrond's outfit

Hey, that's Feanorian script, is Durin getting mail from an elf?

YES IT'S TYELPE!!

This is a lot of fun!!

[zanaleoth]

I forgot to introduce myself.

My name is Neviznak Stonesinger and I am, as far as I know, the last of my kind. I am a few centuries old - how old, I disremember, as we tend to lose track of such things after a while - and once upon a time I was a blacksmith by trade. It's more of a hobby now than a proper job, as many of my customers ... ceased to exist, some time ago.

Our cities have been reduced to ruin by time and absence, so repairing them has become my primary purpose, I suppose. It would be a shame to leave them in shambles.

[acepodcastweek]

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[feyrianedoesart]

Inktober Day 26 - Modern (prompts list). Modern AU Larimar Stonesinger, bard and player character from our Pathfinder campaign, Yume's Chronicles!

[abominationvault]

Session 41: Sat 29 Jun 2024 BAR FIGHT!!!

Skabb’s spell DC has gone up to 21 with her level up - wait, the DM isn’t sure. Yes it is! Wait - is it? Yes! Hartvig hasn’t levelled up, we all laugh because we knew he’d forget.

For the duration of the fight we are no longer a party, though we can team up if we want. There are prizes on the line - last man standing gets a prize, and another for most inventive fighting style. There is a -2 penalty for improvised weapons, unless we have a feat. Anyone who has been drinking has to make Fortitude save before we start. Jorg’ath crit-fails his, uh oh. He starts off Clumsy 2. Nadia and Hartvig are fine, and Skabb wasn’t drinking yet.

The rules: no damaging magic, no weapons.

Skoden!

There are some other patrons who will also join in, like Skampi the goblin:

Jorg’ath starts us off. What does Skampi have in his hands? A tankard of ale. Jorg’ath will use his Disarming Tongue to whip the tankard out of Skampi’s hands, then smash him over the head with his tail. He gets the tankard but the attack misses.

(Skabb announces that she isn’t an especially willing participant of this fight, but she will join in.)

Initiative!

Moro Peliot, a halfling who was peacefully playing the piano when Jorg’ath started the fight, will wander up and smash his tankard into Jorg’ath’s head - well, he tries but misses.

Then a dwarf, Balun Stonesinger, joins in by beaning his tankard at the lizard’s head - but misses. He strides over to shove Jorg’ath into the bar - athletics versus Jorgy’s Fortitude. He fails miserably, and Jorg’ath laughs.

Hartvig has never been in a bar fight before and is terribly excited. He scrambles up inelegantly onto the piano, invents jazz by scrambling around on the keyboard, and bodyslams the halfling. He misses and takes 3 bludgeoning damage as he face plants the floor. He grabs the halfling’s legs to try and tackle him to the ground, but Moro hops out of the way.

Nadia legsweeps the halfling but misses, pistol whips him for 5 bludgeoning damage, and tries to hop over him. She crit-fails that and he shoves her to the floor, where she lands prone.

Jorg’ath got a free turn at the start and gets missed off the turn order; he goes now. He wants to pick up the new goblin and bludgeon the halfling with it. Grapple first, athletics versus his Fortitude - he rolls a 31 to Skampi’s 11, going well so far. 6 damage to the dwarf and 7 to the goblin as well! DM, laughing: “Poor Skampi!” Jorg’ath swings him around and flings him across the room into the piano. Skampi rolls into a ball in the air and bounces harmlessly off it.

Borus, a human, moves toward Skabb and Jorg’ath, and picks up a crate to smash over Jorg’ath’s head but he misses. He takes a swing instead, and crits for 11 bludgeoning to the lizard.

Skabb gives Grabby a move, so he (He’s a he now?) will fly up to the ceiling out of the way. Skabb scuttles under a table and “chews all the business out of the back of this ‘ere fella’s ankle.” It is pointed out that this probably counts as fighting dirty, but Skabb is indifferent. Finally convinced, she agrees to bite his toes off instead. He has leather shoes on, so that’s also a no go. Annoyed, she just bites his leg - 22 to hit with her Grill, and 5 piercing damage. All we see is her disappearing, and then the half orc she has savaged gives a shriek. Another bite, and he takes 6 more damage. Skabb licks her lips.

Old Lady Mirabelle stands up from her glass of wine, and dives under the table after Skabb to punch her in the face. 4 to attack so she goes again for an actual, bone fide -1 to hit. That’s not her mod, that's her whole score. Ooof.

Skampi scurries out of the bar room. Hmm.

Rein, the half-orc, picks up a crate to fling at Hartvig. “Am I hard to hit since I’m on the floor in a pile of my own blood and teeth?” No, and 15 now hits him for 5 bludgeoning damage. The orc throws his drink at Jorg’ath - just the liquid, not the whole tankard. 17 Reflex save from Jorgy, and dodges out of the way. “Bitch.”

The halfling, seeing that Nadia is on the floor, takes advantage and kicks her in the face. He crit fails the attack - and Nadia catches his foot. He tries to draw back - contested Reflex. He fails, and she flips him onto his back, laughing the whole time; he crawls away from her.

The dwarf will try and punch Jorg’ath - 19 misses, ha. Misses some more!

Jorg’ath goes for a return punch, delighted to find out that 15 hits! Bops him again with a 17, then trips his with his tail. Success, and the dwarf is prone. It’s a crit! He does 20 damage and the dwarf is out.

Hartvig. “Right. Prepare to be… unconscious.” He stands up. As a youngster he read more books and saw more puppet shows than had real life experience, and heard something about a People’s Elbow; he scrambles back onto the piano, runs down the keyboard, uses the halfling as a springboard, bounces off the sofa and back into the halfling. Well, he tries, but rolls a 6. Since the halfling is prone he takes 8 damage anyway! The 6 means Hartvig lands on his ass as he hits the sofa. He has two actions left! He stands up again, and sheepishly kicks the halfling in the shins. Boot! He misses. “Shit.”

Nadia, feeling that this has all been very us vs them so far, flips onto the bar and tries to jump on Jorg’ath, but he sees her coming and manages to shove her back over the bar where she lands in a heap, still laughing, takes 2 damage and picks up a bottle to use next turn.

Borus takes an action to shove Jorg’ath, who gets a Fortitude save - he beats the human’s attack. Borus picks up a bar stool to wallop the lizard with it, but five is a miss, friendo.

Skabb is next to skanky old Mirabelle, isn’t she? She leans forward and says something about Rein saying that she sucked him off under the table?? I didn’t know we were allowed to use psychological warfare! “He said you took your teeth out and everything.” 29 Performance and Mirabelle is livid. Skabb pats her shoulder. “Us girls got to stick together.” The halfling grabs at her as she goes past but misses, and Skabb goes in search of the goblin that disappeared. She listens at a door and prepares her teeth for anyone stupid enough to come through it. Grabby uses her movement to grab something and fly back up to the ceiling.

Mirabelle stands up, and strides over to Rein to swing her drink at his face, misses, punches him and smacks his square in the jaw for 6 damage.

Skampi hits Skabb with a tankard and goes for a grapple. Goblin showdown! She aces her save and shrugs him off like it ain’t nothin’.

Rein slams his drink off Mirabelle’s head but misses all his attacks.

The halfling gets up and swings for Hartvig - 23 to attack, and 4 damage. 16 misses.

Jorg’ath returns the favour of the chair to his face, uses his Oversized Throw feat to chuck a piano at Borus. He makes a ranged attack but crit fails… He picks up the piano and drops it, smashing it to pieces. Wait - Hero Point? Yeah! 20 is much better, for 10 damage. The human makes his save and isn’t knocked prone, however. Booh.

Hartvig spends a turn just assuming the classic boxer stance, using the technique he saw in a woodcut once. 16 misses, as does 11, as does the -2. He’s tired by the third swing. “This is shit!” we hear from across the room. “This is not how they said it would go!”

Nadia scrambles back onto the bar, and smashes her bottle over Borus’ head for 7 damage! He swings at her legs to try and trip her, Athletics versus her Reflex, he loses. He tries to shove her instead and misses, but she intentionally fails her save and falls off the bar. She takes some damage, but the good news is that he has shoved her into Yinyasmera, which is a really dumb move.

Yinyasmera makes a really annoyed noise, and rolls initiative… A door to the kitchen opens, and Nadia sees Big Moyra…

Borus makes a break for it, but disturbs three more angry-looking people…

Skabb grabs her goblin chum by the ears, flips him over and tries to slam him into the floor - there is a tie. 23 each. The DM lets her have it, and she can roll a d8 damage plus her STR mod. 7 damage! Nice. She stamps on his head with her sharp little feet. 9 misses, lucky for him. Grabby glances around to see if anyone needs healing - 27 Perception. The half orc looks pretty hurt and he’s right there; she launches a tankard at his head.

Skampi does a feint with his fist - Skabb makes a Perception check to spot the fake attack, 28. He goes for another punch. “That’s fair, I pulled his ears.” He misses. She hisses in his face as a free action.

Rein goes for a shove against Mirabelle, but she saves. He moves away, and Mirabelle gets an attack of opportunity. I miss the outcome because I’m planning. Rein punches someone.

The halfling does a feint at Hartvig, who spots it! All those boxing videos have paid off. He blows a raspberry at the halfling, who punches him. “But I outfoxed you!” The halfling misses.

Jorg’ath takes some swings at somebody, but misses.

Yinyasmera jumps over the bar and strides toward the door and punches - Borus, I think? She then goes back behind the bar. She’s done, until someone else pisses her off.

Xamila Silverflow hides. Does 17 hit Hartvig? No, it does not. Yay! Xamila crawls back under her table.

Moyra moves, and hits the half orc with her rolling pin, and he’s down!

Hartvig rugby tackles the halfling into the wreckage of the piano, rolls a 3, and backs up. He aims a kick at his shins - 16 misses. Can he surreptitiously grab Jorg’ath’s tail to trip him if he moves? Contested Reflex and Hartvig rolls a critical fail… Jorg’ath knows exactly what’s going on. Hartvig shrugs and tries to laugh it off.

Nadia casts Charm on Big Moyra but fails, and not badly enough to piss her off unfortunately. She jumps on the bar.

Kayara appears and, in spite of the drill through her hand:

manages to shout, “Trash panda!” and fling a barstool at Grabby Cat. She misses and throws a drink at her, misses again.

Fynn appears and throws a tankard, but misses the back of Jorg’ath’s head:

“Can Grabby Cat piss? Just as a question,” Skabb asks. It’s up to her, she’s told. She will piss in Kayara’s eyes. She flies over and rains piss down en route to the other side of the bar. 30 to attack, which is a critical, and Kayara is blinded for 2 rounds! Skabblet would like to… Hmm. Is this gobbo wearing undergarments? She would like to wedgie him please. Skampi saves, sadly, so she pokes him in the eyes a la Bottom.

(Couldn't find Bottom, will have to do you a Three Stooges instead)

23 hits, so Skampi takes 1 Bludgeoning damage and is blinded for 2 rounds. Skabb wallops him with her staff. The good thing is, he can’t see her to know that she misses.

Mirabelle comes over to Hartvig to punch him - 21 hits! Beaten up by an old lady, the shame. She shoves him as he’s reeling back. Then she shoves him away ten feet with a critical success, and strides after him. Skabb: “You’ve finally pulled!”

Skampi swings for Skabber, even though he’s blinded. He misses and goes again, misses again.

The halfling sees that Hartvig is prone, and kicks him in the head while he’s down. 19 hits, 3 damage. Wait, is Hartvig Flat Footed? Yes he is, which is brilliant news… for the DM. He takes an extra 1 sneak attack damage, the indignity. He’ll kick him again - but misses. Hartvig points and laughs. This is a grudge match now. The halfling goes again and hits for 10 bludgeoning and 5 sneak attack…

Jorg’ath sees his grey friend taking a kicking, so he uses Oversize Throw on Moyra - short pause while we all piss ourselves laughing - he rolls a Ranged attack, 24 hits. Moyra does 3d10 damage to the halfling, who is now down for the count. “Is she prone? On top of him like a pancake?” We just see the halfling’s little shoes poking out from under her. “You’re welcome grey man!”

Xamila jumps onto the bar next to Nadia and swings a tankard of beer at her, and misses - wait, the DM clicked ‘ranged’. 16 still misses.

Moyra advances on Skabb, rolling pin in hand, and misses. She swings for the other goblin, and misses him as well.

Hartvig stands up and casts Heal on himself for 16+11 hp back.

Nadia picks up the gnome and headbutts her, misses, legsweeps her off the bar instead. With a war cry, she leaps at the blinded, covered-in-piss lady. (Skabb and Hartvig both try to warn her about the piss. “I cannot stress this enough. Nadia does not care about the piss.”) She hits her, knocking her into the table and breaking it, dealing her 5 damage. She claws at Nadia’s eyes as they’re both prone now, and misses all three attempts.

Fynn feints at Jorg’ath, just winning the contest. Jorg’ath is flat-footed. Fynn hits him a bunch of times and does some Sneak Attack damage as well.

Can Skabber do a flying kick at the other goblin, and use him as a springboard to jump on Moyra and pull her chef’s hat down over her eyes? Critical fail 11 says no. “… Interesting.” She could Hero Point it, but doesn’t want to. She uses her second attack to try again, after an awkward laugh. 17 is better. She makes an unarmed attack on the goblin - 23! Now an Acrobatics check - 16. She lands the other side of Moyra. Skabb is pleased. She hoofs the door closed behind her as she goes.

Grabblington would like to move into the kitchen to hunt for weapons, and grab a pot if she can find one.

Mirabelle comes over to kick both Nadia and Kayara in the face - 16 misses Nadia, 2 misses Kayara.

Skampi feints at Moyra, who falls for it and is flat-footed. He punches her in the gunt, but misses.

BigBoy Jorg’ath Rages, because he’s angry that this hot hot man has offended him. He slots Fynn in the chops but the second attack misses.

Xamila gets up from behind the bar, and does a flying elbow on Nadia who is still rolling on the floor with Kayara. She misses, and lands on the floor doing more damage to herself.

Moyra lifts her hat from her eyes, and sees one goblin in front of her. She goes for a rolling pin attack on Skampi - 26 to hit for 5 damage. 20 also hits for 7 more, and he is down! Skabb: “Awww, I’ll miss him.”

Hartvig stands up, sees the aggressively attractive man with the dreads and attempt to - Jorg’ath: “Kiss him.” Hartvig: “Pick up Skabb and swing her at him.” Skabb: “Oh, you are going to regret this…” 14 athletics to grab her, Skabb saves with a 16 Fortitude. He groans. Perhaps she is too greasy to grab…? He goes again and crits! She needs a crit to beat him but a 23 won’t do it. They both make an attack roll - Hartvig unarmed, Skabb a bite attack, 11 and 16 respectively - and it misses, and even the DM is disappointed. Skabb kisses Fynn on the cheek instead as she flies past his head. But Hartvig still has her, he can swing again! And he does, and Skabb’s little teeth sink in on the way past. “It’s a love bite,” she whispers as she releases her jaws.

Nadia rolls onto her back and kicks Mirabelle and crits everything for 18 damage, knocking her out cold! She feels really bad, she didn’t mean to one-shot a nana, so she tucks a healing potion into her pocket for when she wakes up. With one action left, she drags the gnome to her feet.

Kayara rolls over, wipes the piss out of her eyes, picks up the granny by the ankles and swings her at Nadia and I can’t type because I’m laughing too hard…

Fynn attacks Skabb but misses, which she takes as a green light for the budding romance. Skabb jumps on a table and starts flinging plates, the last one at her honeylove just so he doesn’t forget about her. Grabby finds some fruit and vegetables, or there are pots and pans? She finds a nice ripe gourd and flies back out to the bar room to drop it on someone’s head. She hits, but only rolls a 1 for damage. “Gourd-dammit,” Skabb says, causing everyone psychic damage.

It’s getting late, so the next round will be double damage and then we’ll call it.

What is the bulk of a gnome, Jorg’ath wants to know? It’s Light, the DM decides, and he does Lightning Tongue at the gnome that Nadia has just dragged to her feet. 27 hits, and he drags her toward him. Tail whip, and she’s down!

Moyra comes barrelling back into the bar, and shoves Hartvig into a wall. He gets a Fortitude save, 27! “Oooh! Hello,” he says, surprised and pleased, and is not knocked prone. And he is up! He grabs a bit of shattered piano and swings it at Moyra. 17 hits for 8 whole damage! Nice, he made her bleed! The power’s going to his head now, and he whiffs the last one. He looks at the lump of piano as if it was its fault.

Nadia clotheslines Kayara and jump-shoves her onto the floor in a wrestling classic, punches her but misses, headbutts and KO’s her! Yeah!

Fynn feints at Hartvig, and succeeds. Hartvig is now flat-footed. He crit-fails his attacks, though.

Skabb is last up. She comes over to Hartvig, picks him up and swings him at Moyra! She fails the contested roll, so she has another go. 20 to his 17! They both make unarmed attacks, and both fail - Hartvig Hero Points his but misses again. He bounces off her gut, looking faintly disgusted.

With that, the fight is over. There is a tie - we must vote for who we thought was the most entertaining, Skabb versus Nadia. Nadia wins! Jorg’ath knocked out the most people so 'most damage' replaces 'last man standing' as a category and he wins! Several of our opponents were Osprey Club members, and Jorg'ath did more damage than even they did. We both win a +1 armour rune!

Skabb toddles to the bar to buy two shots, and hands one to Handsome Fynn. Shoot your shot, why not. Hartvig buys a round. Since we were nice, and paid money, and gave out a healing potion to a battered granny, we have improved our relationship with Yinyasmera. Ace.

[judgetoast-blog]

Campaign Diary vol 6 & 7

Session 6:

The party was ambushed at the bottom of the lift, as they exited they struggled against no less than three of the Murder Machines. Experimenting with the technology here they accidentally replaced Colossal’s Eyes with mechanical ones and killed Silverheart, turning his corpse into a new murder machine in a horrifying ritual that stripped him of his ability to feel and speak, leaving him with his mind intact but forever separating him from the sacred stone. Acastus, the fury expressed his supreme dislike for their mutilations of their bodies. A few more struggles and with much of the party being hypnotized into serving a long gone empire and being snapped out of it, they finally reached the end of the gauntlet. A testing chamber for a massive and powerful version of the Murder Machines. With surprisingly few losses the party overcomes this challenge and a portal in the back of the chamber flickers to life, responding to their need to return home, it opens a passage to the tower in Homlet, locking onto one of the portals there.

The party returned home and spent four days resting and recovering from the struggle in the mountain. 

Session 7:

After taking a few days to recover the party returned to the druid grove, offering the manual to make the constructed and the service of the Murder Machine, Silverheart. Seeking additional power to protect these people Stonesinger the goliath gives up his life to become a powerful guardian of the forest known as a Dru’Gar.

With the ritual complete the party is out of time, a horn is blown and the forest is assaulted by a massive horde of gibberlings. After hours of battle the party has met with Yolanna, a fae knight who has been fighting the invasion in another part of the forest.

After spending most of the day battling against the gibberlings the party thinks to cut off the head of this attack and attack the commander of this horde. Ilanth the human cleric, Acastus the Fury, and Homlet the Ooze try to sneak to the commander’s tent and confront him. They are discovered by the commander, a Minotaur called Jag-Deesh, who invited them into his tent to discuss with them, the laws of hospitality preventing him from harming them. After a discussion with him, the party finds that Jagh-Deesh is an honorable minotaur in a bad position. Committing to the death of the druids and fae simply because it was his duty and should he find a way to not commit the genocide, he would. The party demanded a duel of honor to get him to stop the genocide.

The following day the party met at a garden in a meadow to prepare for their duel with Jagh-Deesh. Their plan was a simple one, put forth their most powerful champion, the transformed Stonesinger and to cheat. They cast spells to strengthen the Dru’Gar and waited for the minotaur to arrive. Upon arrival Jagh-Deesh waited until the magic had worn off before entering the meadow for the duel, shaming the party for attempting to cheat. Ultimately Jagh-Deesh killed Stonesinger and made a decision. He told them of a powerful magical weapon in his father’s tomb near Four Oaks. He offered them a magic ring to protect them from the curse, realizing that these cowardly cheaters might be worthy of his father’s legacy. 

With the duel resolved and another friend dead, the party negotiated a ceasefire for the time being. Jagh-Deesh left them with a horn, which commanded the gibberlings, and a cryptic and not very helpful explanation on how the horn works. After he departed the party decided to hunt down the weapon they were told about and headed north into the mountains.