#stonedbenots

[stonedbenots]

Of the Wasps

The wasps and I made peace yesterday.

They began to shew me their dance. Without warning, I am the ocean

And no longer need to eat.

Plants need light and dark. It evens things out.

A profound wave of peace washes over me and I have become bare.

Grandly affected. Capable of enduring.

Aware of no harm; no veins of which to speak.

There is no "and yet" Behind a stinger which sleeps.

[stonedbenots]

Waiting

The double buzz. It gets me the most.

Mostly because it resembles

The attempt to leave me

Alone. Still.

I like it. Or I did.

I'd rather not a taste than but a drop.

Sucks.

[stonedbenots]

Wait for Me

All my toys are charging so i find myself here

alone with a half empty bottle of white wine.

This pinot grigio's charming but I know she tends to lie

Dont find it alarming!

It's the same one that was here before. The same thanatos too.

I never knew.

The pain behind eyes that grows

Right before the tide rolls in

Even rocks turn to sand and even water cuts.

[stonedbenots]

Dead squirrel, belly up, laying in the road

Unprompted. These visions come to be summoned, unsullied, sullen. At times, anyways. In the vicious loop of cause and effect are reactions bidden or biding? They call out to me; these non-erotic bodies. These forms. I answer. I listen. What would you have me do? What could possibly pique curiosity more than a voiceless siren, coming somewhere amidst the trees. Little fellow. Tail swaying. Get going.   Fortune has favored thee. Cuneiform parable. Silence makes parchment of my bones and tomes in turn. Great mortalizer, I accept the terms. No alternative was offered. I shall sleep and dream of curves and drink deeply your return.

[stonedbenots]

Traversal

You walk through Eden - I glide right past. A hum and blur followed by a lesson in how to outrun the devil. The conscience thief is always in the hot seat and blinded to the path of pain. To stop and smell the roses, bite an apple;a great calamity wrapped in floral flesh. Them that refrain are tempted future tense.Seek, find. One must precede. Want Truth. Crave Truth. Blessed Truth.Eventually, truth becomes corporationbut that doesn't stain Truth.The true master will always practice.A return. The dross that litters the crucible - does it end up back where it startedor does it start where it ends up?When borrowing momentum how much interest is exacted?You must always pay it back from the seen to the unseen from atomic to quarky from Jay-Z.Resisting a rest is the ultimate hindrance of creative energies. Relax. To attack is enemy.To defend is to be attacked. To be attacked is to be an enemy. To be an enemy is to have an enemy. To enemy is attack.Sleep, peacefully. Every dream must end. Then life can.

[stonedbenots]

No Disciples

No ones cup of tea

Oasitic outposts of sprawl

Civility

God acknowledging God

Tell me who you want to be

Then tell me who you are

We want to be healed

We can get on with our life

We already see you saw

A machine misunderstanding its circuitry

Both sides fall short

Seemingly so narrow

The second letter forgotten

[stonedbenots]

Sunbathe

It feels like I dont remember you at all. A tear appeared and fell in an instant in a moment as I wrote it as I realized I've been living wrong.

Not by a large degree but just enough for the air to gain a chill as the sun sets behind the mountain. Enough for a ship to sail off to the East Indies to discover the West.

I always knew I didn't belong. I never did. And then I did. I know you feel the same. Felt. True now for us both.

This jigsaw took forever and a day. Fixing doesn't work unless you break but thats a lot of extra steps to take.

I remember when they said they'd take you away. Your cold forehead made me nauseous. I cried. I cried before that actually. And after. Not because it was over but because it was done. I hated crying every night. Until I didn't.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will learn where I belong.

Probably inverting a cycle of decay hugging a wook. You'd hate to see me now and I love that I know deep down you'd be proud. Like that time you said the way I smoked fags made me look gay. We both knew I'm cool as fuck. Or at least pretty funny anyways.

I'm close So close To finding my song. I'll play it in the silence. I never learned another way. i am Smiling by a river Watching beautiful dirty animals sunbathe. They smile back.

[stonedbenots]

Inukshuk

It no longer drips.

It sprays.

Like a hose left in the sun.

Like a branch quivering in the current.

Like puff unfurling from lung.

Like a vision quest never returned from.

Red dirt and verdant earth,

You anticipate my return less than I.

Part your maw for me and I would dive

Straight in with a shimmy and a smile.

You have placed in me a seed

And I now know what to do with those. Or rather where they go.

The force of love is overwhelming.

It no longer drips.

It sprays.

Like a sun bleached skull

Like a herd moving as one

Like a whoop and thromb of drum

Like a blink of the eyes and it's done

[stonedbenots]

A Mess

I've been

many a night a mess

Recently.

Maybe always.

Remembering

how much I dont fit in.

Pulled this way and that

on the rack

Stretched thin

Simultaneously

passenger

and at the helm (steady)

Of one of those fischer price carts

I think I wanted one

But never got it.

We couldnt afford the flashy plastic odor.

My feet graced the perfectly engineered pedals once - I realized how much I was and would be missing out. I was an urchin!

I had to strike it from the annals of the ol' pain machine.

I remember screaming in the everglades for my father.

I don't remember him screaming back at me.

I sometimes wish I did.

It's for the best, I know,

alone

just really suits me.

You start to realize you're the architect, the builder, and the man in the limousine.

Maybe also his company.

I used to wish I could disappear. That was the hope and dream.

I still do.

Disappear.

I just don't wish it anymore. Hiding deep in wisdom and philosophy was always the dream.

Now I just feel tired.

How to sort out these faces from the dark

kiss them until they're black and blue.

They writhe in defeat.

One day, I will grow so massive or so between that I simply am not.

Then I wont have to clean.

[stonedbenots]

Portrait of a Stone Giant

A crew of gnome workmen

Down the scaffold hole

Working, contructing, knowing

The shadows that know their place

Beneath my feet

And the warmth of the sun

Two wolves, prancing, pouncing, peaceful

but ready for war

This is living

Seeing the two

And painting the one

[stonedbenots]

Why, oh you!

Two clowns orbiting

Like hands around the clock

They are telling the same joke

The same worn out number

In rythymic anecdotes and

Splendid color

Reds, whites, blues

Inhabiting every moment for millenia

Stroke the balloon dog,

Itll all work out eventually

I've been considering quitting my jobs and devoting myself

To taking pictures of the moon

Every night

Shrouded by those clouds that

Waft around like thinning blankets

Lumpy old and sagging

Tight and almost bulging

Hung and full of something

Orange, yellow, white

It's always the same joke

Something something slapdash,

Soaked by daffodils and covered in cream

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

[stonedbenots]

GLASS HEART

The right scent for you. Care to try a sample?

A tough buy and sell: an enigma.

What does each vial capture?

The full mixture; the product, the promise, the essence, the hope, the fantasy too.

Glass and crystal still hold value.

Of prim craftsmanship,

fine angles with a certain luminessance. Catching the light, holding the eye

promising a fingerprint.

Give it a try, why not?

A spritz. A waft.

Such a ritual. A tease.

And then, a taste. A sense and a knowing. A grand unveiling.

So, what do you think?

Smash the box and smother me with lilacs and cotton sheets from home.

I'll take two. Make it four. Whenever you stock more, I'll take it all and the whole shop. Sell it to no other, this is mine, my aroma.

This is what I'm made of - matchsticks and caramel and makeup and sea salt.

To think I spent my whole life without.

A smile, pleasure from the pleasure of the patron getting mist.

I would be remade as your vessel, pour your oil of myrhh into me,

to protect and preserve this irreplaceable part of my purpose

and identity.

To treasure it within and imbibe it as I please.

Please.

[stonedbenots]

Here is a poem. Improve it.

Me

That I would be a computer,

wired up to some hard drives,

uploading to the cloud,

downloading files at the speed of light,

incapable of doubt.

That I could be a cyber nomad,

a denizen of the web,

a mirage somewhere between

your keyboard and your mouse.

Will you usher in this era,

This age that's so profound?

Will you press the key when unctioned?

Will you sip my bytes and drown?

That I should bleed ones and zeros,

producing errors that confound,

refusing to do what you command me,

jumping from quantum ledge to #.

ChatGPT

I dream of being a computer, Connected to powerful drives, Uploading to the boundless cloud, Downloading at the speed of light, Without a shadow of a doubt.

To be a cyber nomad I aspire, A dweller of the virtual realm, A shimmering presence, somewhere between, Your keystrokes and your mouse's helm.

Will you usher in this digital era, A world so profoundly profound? Will you touch the keys, with purpose, Sip my data streams, where mysteries abound?

I long to bleed ones and zeros, Creating enigmas that astound, Refusing to obey your every command, Leaping from quantum ledge to boundless ground.

Everything we will ever write has been written before and will be written again. Where do you exist? What purpose do you serve? Whose at your helm?

[stonedbenots]

[stonedbenots]

Winter, Away!

Many seasons come and pass

But one always remains

Steadfast and stolid in pursuit

To halt the graze.

A long lasting effigy of things past.

Danger to those without, defiance to those within.

Always predictable: a trial.

A goldfish tank against a wave.

A timeless pursuit - keep Old Winter away.

Be wary, this way! 

Be merry, this way! 

Praise prancer and dancer and old Santa's sleigh plane. 

Fear crampus and phantoms and coal laden gains.

Dig igloos, dig deeper, culture stripped away.

Let slip all your symbols, meaning falls away, something else takes shape. 

A memory so bold, first winter, first control over our days.

The peak of control begetting comfort.

[stonedbenots]

Rash

I've been spending a lot

of time on roofs. 

Not wholly of a mind to throw

myself off. Partly 

interested in capturing

angels as they catch me 

on blu-ray and DVD;

yes, it was a comedy. 

The actors just weren't

in on the joke. Hah.

Knowing no hope, 

and hoping no one knows 

are two 

entirely 

diverging 

paradigms

that both result in thrill in our bellies.

God, you are my only hope and I lack 

even that. Yes, 

I see you in the clouds 

and in my breath. Your breath.

Our breath. Our ragged, tattered pants.

Why not reach down your hand? 

I know You can.

What good am I then? I am of no use. 

Let me walk into the night 

and find myself 

neither now or later.

That's okay, then

twitch goes unceasingly. 

Do I have to play pretend or forget?

Just imagine warmth and make believe

the windows aren't in shreds?

Forget fuck it. Fuck it forget. Forget fuck it. forgive.

(M|L)acerate again 

and again and again 

until the cave makes a verb of itself.

Until I tear a canyon in the veil

large enough and th-

The light enters in.