#stole rhodes' outfit for him this time

[vodka-and-ocs]

[mlynar-nearl]

How about Toland buying My a gift, like a tiny piece of jewelry or something. My is not sure why he's getting jewelry since he never wears any. maybe toland says it's to have him (My) keep something on him that's from him (Toland). You know, since those hickies will fade soon x)

Oho, this prompt (specifically, a gift from Toland that's about them as an item) appears at the end of Solomon and Saturn, not to spoil it, but I can do a different circumstance of gift giving ;3c

--

"How was the year?"

Młynar turns the page of his newspaper. The next bus to the stop nearest the Nearl estate won't be for twenty minutes or so. From the bus stop, it's a ten minute walk to the front gate of the Nearl estate. At this time of night, the lights will certainly be off, the doors certainly locked, otherwise, he will have to scold Maria about remembering her own damned safety.

He doesn't look up from the paper. "More of the same. You?"

"More of the same, as well."

"Then why are you here?"

"For you." Toland sounds a little melancholy. "I was in town for the night, and I figured I could catch you out late. You haven't changed that much. You still throw yourself into everything you do."

"Mm."

"That, and I got you something."

"Got me something?" Młynar asks, lowering the paper slightly to look over it at Toland. Toland looks older, they both do, and melancholy as he sounds. But he holds up a piece of paper.

"Two things, actually, while I have you."

"Go ahead."

Toland hands Młynar the piece of paper, and Młynar realizes it's a photograph. Of Margaret, of all things. She's not aware that she's part of the photograph, but she's not the centerpiece, either. It looks like a field hospital somewhere outside Kazimierz, with medics wearing the Rhodes Island uniform center stage, but with Margaret no less involved, helping the injured. Młynar takes the picture in hand, and looks at it for a long moment before looking up at Toland.

"How?"

"A contact of mine stole a copy from a Columbian reporter doing a piece on the company she works for. The original would never have made it to print for you to see, anyway. The writing to go with it said a lot of things people weren't ready to hear."

Toland doesn't miss the way Młynar's grip tightens on the corner of the photograph, as if it'll disappear if he loosens his grip even slightly. "And the other thing?"

Toland pauses, before sheepishly producing a small jewelry box. Młynar raises an eyebrow and tucks the photograph into his pocket carefully before taking it. He opens the box.

"I thought these would make a good impression in your new life," Toland cracks, although the moment is vulnerable regardless.

Młynar stares at the cufflinks within. They're golden, of course they are, and have black stones set inside. They're subtle, but striking. They match his work outfit astoundingly well. "And you got these legitimately?"

"No one's going to recognize them and associate you with anything untoward, no."

"Just...because?"

"I knew I'd be seeing you early this year," Toland says simply. "Felt like being nice while I was here."

Młynar doesn't verbally respond, but he does remove the cufflinks one by one and pins his sleeves together.

"I hope they make you think of me, master Nearl," Toland says, cracking a smile.

Młynar's bus rounds the corner as he finishes pinning his sleeves. "That will be me," he comments. Toland nods.

"Then until the next time."

Młynar folds his newspaper and stands up, walking onto the bus. In the doorway, he looks back, but Toland is already gone.

[lovelyirony]

hi hello i am feeling very angsty so: rhodeytony ft tony's worrying lack of interest in avoiding getting kidnapped and his bodyguard rhodes' increasing stress levels to save a boss that doesn't want to be saved (and, if the flutter in his heart should be anything to go by - should not be his boss anymore). bodyguard to lovers??

Rhodey is a good bodyguard. Hell, he’s the best. 

That was why Pepper Potts hired him, after all. He’s not easy to fool, can follow anyone with a dogged determination that nearly defies human nature. He’s had successful stories before with glowing reviews from multiple people from all different threatened backgrounds. 

(Including at least three world leaders and a pope.) 

Tony Stark is...new. Well, nearly new. He’s a businessman, which isn’t anything out of the ordinary for Rhodey to deal with. 

…except Tony’s highly eclectic, a billionaire, and purposely makes his behavior as erratic as possible. 

It’s fun. What can Rhodey say? He loves a challenge, and Tony is about as challenging as they come. 

-

When he first starts, Tony tries every trick in the book. Rhodey still sticks to him, although he does leave some distance. Tony tries to make him uncomfortable by bringing just about everyone who looks home, and all Rhodey says is, “you gonna feed them cereal when they wake up? Because that’s all you have in your pantry right now, and you don’t pay me to do the shopping.” 

Tony scowls at that, and then changes his strategy. 

-

It’s an odd strategy. 

Tony decides he will just make Rhodey his friend, starting with the nickname of “Rhodey.” 

“That’s stupid,” Rhodey says, because he can already tell it will stick. 

“Not my problem, just my solution,” Tony grins. “Now come on, we’re getting burgers.” 

They’re at a sit-down restaurant. One of Tony’s favorites, actually. Rhodey is not sure why he’s sitting down across from the man with the most influence in the world, but he is. 

“So, what’s new with you? Who are you?” Tony asks. “Pepper sent me your file. You’re from Philly, right?” 

“Oh my god, you sound weird when you say it like that,” Rhodey says, deciding against formality as he basically tells Tony Stark that he sounds weird and shouldn’t say “Philly.” 

“Oh what, is that not what the locals call it?” 

“I’m going to take you there and they’re going to beat you up.” 

“Not the worst Sunday night I’ve ever had,” Tony mentions. “Hey, look at the menu. I don’t want you to flounder when the waitress shows up and you know fuck-all about what they have to offer.” 

“Okay asshole, any recommendations?” 

“The banana milkshake and bacon-burger.” 

Rhodey looks at the menu. 

He does end up with the bacon-burger, but chooses strawberry for his flavor of milkshake. 

“You traitor.” 

“Oh am I? Well then let me tell Pepper that you stole the last good pen she had then-” 

Tony flings a fry at him, and Rhodey laughs. 

- 

Here’s a concerning thing: Tony has a very “c’est la vie” approach about kidnapping. 

Like he genuinely doesn’t really give a shit if he knows what’s going on, or even if he doesn’t. 

Rhodey was eagle-eyed and chased a van three fucking blocks and caught up to the driver, wherein he punched his lights out and got Tony out. His hands were bound in zip-ties and his suit was rumpled, but Tony just blinked at him. 

“You think you broke a racing record with that?” 

“Are you okay? Are you hurt? Did they take anything?” 

Rhodey’s all over Tony, checking for any injuries, any stolen wallets or watches, and thank god everything is there. (Not that Tony would really care if anything was stolen, save for his sunglasses. He spends far too much on those, in Rhodey’s opinion.) 

“Okay geez,” Tony says, batting Rhodey’s hands away. “I’m fine. These people were amateurs. Shit, I’m running late for my consultation meeting, aren’t I?” 

“You just got kidnapped,” Rhodey says, tone rife with disbelief. “You just got taken and your concern is with the consultation meeting?” 

“Well I figured that you were going to come by or I’d be gone a lot longer, but now that I’m not? Yeah. Yeah, I am concerned with the consultation meeting. It’s a tech start-up company, only not that shitty Silicon-nice-guy start-up. It’s a more inclusive thing. I don’t know, I read their little ‘about’ section on their website. Which needs work. But that’s besides the point.” 

Rhodey just follows, dumb in disbelief. 

The few rare times that previous clients have been kidnapped or even attempted, they’ve needed a day to recuperate at minimum. They were shaken up, and usually beefed up the security for the rest of time after it. They also scheduled therapy appointments. 

Tony treated this like it was a traffic jam and he was only running five minutes behind. 

- 

The second time it happens when Rhodey’s there, it lasts a little longer. 

Rhodey has to admit, he maybe did some...under-the-radar looks. The FBI wasn’t moving fast enough, and the legal channels weren’t up to snuff. And besides, Tony did say that he could use Jarvis if he really wanted to. 

(Turns out they both went to MIT at the same time, and Tony had been that obnoxiously short guy in his econ class that rarely showed up, but when he did he showed up in a suspiciously nice outfit.) 

It was a weekend. Rhodey had gone away for two seconds to get a drink for Tony and then he was gone. 

It was...bad. 

The problem is this: 

Tony definitely doesn’t need to be kidnapped as often as he is. He has so many inventions that can prevent that, he’s sold quite a few of them to the military. 

But for some fucking reason, he doesn’t want to be saved. No, he’s content just going along with what’s happening, even though everyone else around him wants him back. Needs him back. 

He finds him bruised and tied up to a shitty folding chair. 

“Hey darling,” Tony says, lips a bloody red. “Can you believe this chair? I would’ve thought they would at least have gotten something a tad nicer. I am their best-dressed guest, after all.” 

Rhodey looks over the torn shirt and the pants that have all but been shredded. His shoes are battered and stained beyond repair. 

“Don’t,” Rhodey says. He sounds tired. He is tired. “Don’t do this.” 

“Don’t do what, get kidnapped? I hardly try,” Tony snaps. “Or do I just have a sign on my back that you didn’t know was there?” 

“You know I was in the Air Force,” Rhodey snaps back. “I got high enough clearance that I was one of the guys who got to see what brand new toy you sent our way. I know you could use any of those, shit, you probably tested it out, so you would know.” 

“And your point?” Tony asks. “What, you’re saying I should know better? Saying you know better than me?” 

“You know what? Yeah, yeah I am saying that,” Rhodey yells as he’s untying him. “I am fucking saying that I know more than you because you couldn’t give less of a shit if you tried about your own well-being! You were kidnapped and I’ve been running myself ragged trying to get you back, and you just don’t care!” 

Tony stares at him. Really stares at him. 

“Let’s go home.” 

Nothing else is said in the car ride home. Tony can’t even look at Rhodey. 

They go home, where Pepper greets Tony with a hug and makes him swear not to leave again, and Tony says “I promise,” only they both know that he’s lying. 

But they’re not calling him out on it yet. No, not tonight. 

- 

Rhodey stays. Technically he doesn’t have to. Jarvis is the most advanced artificial intelligence system in the world. Hell, he’s the only one that’s even in his league, but Rhodey just...feels better staying. 

And Tony’s mansion is a gargantuan structure with about twenty different rooms to choose from, so Rhodey gets a nice view and tries to go to bed. 

He’s never gotten enough sleep. He knows he never would. That’s why the army loved him: he could be up at any hour and he’d be fine. That’s why his dad called him the bane of his existence in a loving manner: Rhodey would be up at four in the morning filling out the crossword before anyone else could. 

He’s up at four a.m. making breakfast. 

Tony’s pantry is still shit, but it looks like Pepper went shopping for him or had someone else do it, because he actually has eggs and juice and actual food instead of the odd pickle jar or way-too-old yogurt. 

“You’re...up,” Tony says. 

Rhodey turns around. 

“Sorry. I, um. Stayed.” 

“It’s fine,” Tony says awkwardly. “What are you making?” 

“Omelet.” 

“I always mess those up,” he says. “Either too much cheese or I forget I’m cooking it.” 

“You want one?” 

“You gonna make me one?” 

“Accidentally cracked one too many eggs, so yes. You want onions and spinach in yours?” 

“Sure,” Tony says. “What are you doing up?” 

“Always bad at sleeping,” Rhodey answers. “Can never really stay asleep for too long.” 

“Forget to take your melatonin gummies?” Tony answers, grinning. 

Rhodey can see a bruise on his collarbone. 

“You sleep okay?” 

“No, but I rarely ever do,” Tony says. “Especially after yesterday’s fiasco.” 

“You mean the whole weekend,” Rhodey says, putting the rest of the eggs into the pan. “Can’t imagine that was fun.” 

“Oh come on, it was a ball,” Tony answers sarcastically. “They let me play cops-and-robbers and I was given pizza. Clearly it was a fantastic time.” 

Rhodey stares at Tony. 

“You know in the contract that I had you sign it specifically states that you have to let me help you, right?” 

“It says you have to rescue me regardless of feelings or previous obligations,” Tony says. 

“Rescuing you doesn’t just mean I chase after vans and track you down in an abandoned warehouse, it means that I rescue you from those situations before they can happen. But I can only do that if you agree that you won’t get kidnapped,” he says. 

“And what, I want to?” Tony asks. “Do I say that?” 

“You don’t have to,” Rhodey says, flipping the omelet over. “You never think you’re worth rescuing it because you think you’re never going to be good enough and I think you think that you owe me for giving a shit.” 

Tony looks at him. 

“You’re really honest.” 

“I try to be.” 

“I love that about you.” 

Rhodey’s hand shakes slightly as he moves the omelet a bit in the pan. He hopes Tony doesn’t notice. 

“Well I would love it if you stopped being kidnapped.” 

“Aye aye, Colonel Rhodes,” Tony says, saluting. Rhodey rolls his eyes. 

“Oh my god, do not.” 

“What, am I not supposed to thank our armed services for making this country safe?” he mocks, standing up. “For going above and beyond the call of patriotism and helping keep Americans everywhere safe?” 

Rhodey threatens to eat his omelet when he breaks into singing the national anthem. 

- 

There’s an...understanding. 

Tony starts taking up training with Happy and almost agrees to regular training with Rhodey until Rhodey wants him to get up at six and do some workouts, and he yells “No!” after one workout session. 

Rhodey pointedly pretends like he’s not staring at Tony’s chest when he lifts up his shirt to wipe away the sweat. 

“Come on Rhodey my darling, let’s do breakfast.” 

Tony dragging him to breakfasts, lunches, and dinners. It’s...nice. Rhodey ignores it when Tony waggles his eyebrows as he takes the check and calls him “darling, honey, baby,” and he lets him because it sounds nice. 

He doesn’t say anything to Tony. No, you can’t date your boss. It’s unprofessional as hell and Tony probably is just doing it because Rhodey’s in close proximity and they have a good banter going. 

- 

The next time that Tony has an attempted kidnapping, Rhodey is there. 

He’s there, and he’s being taken away, dragged from Tony, and Tony for the first time looks terrified. 

Rhodey tries to struggle, tries to do anything, because Tony has to get away, and he...

He’s knocked unconscious. 

-

When he wakes up, his head hurts worse than it ever has, and for a moment he’s pissed at Tony because he forgets that he’s been kidnapped and there’s no control over the thermostat because the room is hot as all get out. 

And then he sees Tony across from him, and he’s never seen Tony angry. 

“I’m sorry,” Tony says, voice shaking. “I’ll get us out of here. I promise. I’m sorry.” 

“Not your fault we have assholes take us,” Rhodey says. “But god I would kill for some air conditioning.” 

Tony smiles a bit at that. 

- 

Here’s a problem: you cannot give Tony Stark anything if you want him to not escape. Either that or he has to be unconscious because he’s a stubborn son of a bitch. 

And they used actual handcuffs to keep him there. God, what a joke. 

Tony learned how to break out of handcuffs when he was twenty and chained to a bedpost on accident. (Long story.) 

This is nothing. 

But the problem is that Rhodey’s here. His bodyguard who really shouldn’t be putting his life on the line for someone as shitty as Tony, but here they are, and he has to get him out. 

“Follow my lead,” Tony whispers. 

“Well of course I will, who else has as much experience being kidnapped as you?” Rhodey mutters. 

“Okay is now going to be the time where you sass me? You’re here too. I could leave you.” 

“You’re not gonna do that, Pepper would make you come back.” 

“No she wouldn’t.” 

“Yeah she would!” 

“Not after I tell her that you used the last of her salad dressing.” 

“Shit.” 

Tony snorts, looking at the room. They don’t have security cameras, which is just...questionable. Oh my god, he got kidnapped by amateurs. 

He’s kind of embarrassed. 

Rhodey gets free, and they’re both headed towards a door, and Rhodey picks up a stray part of a metal pole, and Tony cannot lie and say he’s not intrigued by that. 

Not saying he hopes Rhodey gets to use it. 

He’s just curious how he’ll utilize it. 

- 

They get to just. Walk out. They fucking walk out. What kind of people did they get kidnapped from? It can’t be that easy, can it? 

It can’t be...

It is. 

Okay sure Tony is driving in a hotwired car and they’re being shot at, but all things considered that’s not the worst thing. And the truck is probably considered stolen anyways, and once Tony makes it to the highway, it’s not like they’ll be able to follow without making it onto national news, not that they haven’t already. 

Pepper’s very effective at getting things to trend on national news when she wants to. 

- 

Rhodey is sitting on a beach chair. He shouldn’t be, and he also shouldn’t be drinking a mimosa because it’s four p.m. and definitely the morning, but he figures since he got kidnapped he’s allowed at least one mimosa. 

“So. Your first kidnapping?” Tony asks. “All things considered, yours went well. I think next time we should go to Wendy’s or something, I was starving-” 

“I’m just. I’m glad we’re okay,” Rhodey says. “But yeah. Maybe next time. If there is a next time. I’m going to I think make you hold hands with me so that you don’t get napped by terrible, shitty people.” 

“You could’ve just asked to hold my hand, we didn’t need to be kidnapped together,” Tony says. 

“Hm, is that a breach of contract?” Rhodey teases. 

“Only if Pepper decides to enforce it, and she won’t because you’re the first bodyguard to have an actual success story with me,” Tony says. “So. I’m thinking maybe we skip the kidnapping next time and go straight for dinner.” 

“Oh thank god, I thought you were gonna say a fast food restaurant.” 

“I still could, you don’t know,” Tony grins, winking. “What if our first date is to Burger King? What are you gonna do?” 

“Be mad that I still like you,” Rhodey grumbles. 

Tony cackles, dropping a kiss onto his hand. 

“Do you think I should get another bodyguard or will dragging you away during a party be too awkward for them?” 

“...I’ll think about it.” 

(They don’t get a new bodyguard. 

No matter how much the other security complains that Rhodey’s the only one who knows where Tony is at all times, and they can’t exactly ask them if they’re busy doing...things. 

Rhodey finds it hilarious.) 

[areiton]

a giant sign - ironhusbands

Read on AO3

~*~ 

He’s been friends with Tony long enough to know when his sulky moodiness is a passing thing, when it’s a low simmer that will eventually explode. 

He’s been friends with Tony long enough to know when his anger is pushed at Rhodey, and when he’s just angry, and Rhodey is the nearest safe target. 

He’s been friends with Tony long enough that this--this should sink in, a lot sooner than it does. 

Pepper thinks he’s been friends with Tony long enough because they’re both idiots. 

 ~*~ 

After Vanko, Tony is sulky and short tempered, none of the normal banter and teasing while he works on the armor. He’s quiet, mouth a hard line while Rhodey plays with Butterfingers and DUM-E chirps sadly for attention. 

Rhodey shouldn’t have favorites, of course, but Butterfingers with her shy sweetness has always been his favorite. He rubs oil into her claw and she almost preens for him, and he chuckles while Tony silently codes. 

It takes almost eighteen hours, but Tony finally slumps against the worktable and the War Machine is gleaming and beautiful, deadly. 

“You’re good to go, honeybear,” Tony says, rubbing his eyes. 

There’s a smear of grease on his cheek and in his hair, and a knick on his finger that’s oozing blood, shadows under his eyes, and his smile isn’t quite right, a little tighter and colder than Rhodey is used to. “All that Hammer tech is gone and you’re outfitted with even better weapon systems.” 

Rhodey smiles, and some of the tension in Tony’s shoulders loosen. 

 ~*~ 

He cleans Tony’s hands, bandages them and drops a kiss on his forehead before he steps into the armor and flies away, and he can feel Tony’s gaze on him, chasing him across the sky. 

 ~*~ 

Tony doesn’t make weapons anymore, not for the military, not for private owners, not even for SHIELD. 

But when he opens up the AI Tony has coded into the armor, he’s greeted with an array of weapons that make the Brass pant and his dick a little hard. 

Tony always made the very best weapons. 

“Think you can get him to open the weapons division up again?” his CO asks, his voice hungry and Rhodey laughs because this--

“No. Tony hung up his weapons.” 

“That’s not what the suit says,” his CO objects, and Rhodey shrugs. 

Tony has always had rules, rules he expects the entire world to live by. 

And then there was Rhodey, slipping under them. 

 ~*~ 

The Air Force shoves a new pilot, a pretty bright eyed Academy grad, into the suit while Rhodey is tied up at the Pentagon. 

He hears about it through the chain of command, and there’s a pulse of fury, because that’s his. 

The suit isn’t like a plane, fit to be flown by any passing warm body. That is his, given to him by Tony. 

And it’s an asset of the USAF and he can’t really throw a fit, because the War Machine saved fifty children in a militant cult’s sway, brought down the charismatic leader holding a gun to the head of his seven year old bride, and all without casualties. 

He doesn’t complain, but it twists, tight and angry in his chest. 

 ~*~ 

“Rhodes. What the hell is going on with the suit?” 

“I don’t know, sir. It’s still in Norfolk and I’m in DC.” 

“It’s not in Norfolk--it took off without a pilot thirty minutes ago.” 

Rhodey sighs. 

 ~*~ 

“You stole property of the USAF,” he says, three days later. It took three days to get away and Tony hadn’t answered any calls in the days since the armor took off without a pilot. 

“I took back something they had no right to use,” Tony answers, his light breezy tone razor edged. “If you don’t want it, it should come home.” 

Rhodey huffs. “I didn’t approve the other pilot.” 

Tony stares at him, something sharp and gleaming in his eyes, something that Rhodey didn’t quite recognize. 

“That suit isn’t for the Air Force, platypus,” Tony says, sharply. “And the next time I find out someone else is piloting, I’ll remote destroy it.” 

Rhodey blinks, and then nods, slow. “Ok, genius.” 

 ~*~ 

Rhodey is halfway around the world, escorting the President back to the States, when Tony flies a nuke into space, and the armor doesn’t feel safe, doesn’t feel like Tony wrapped around him, protective and indestructible. 

It feels like a tomb, a coffin too small for the way he feels, for the way his heart is pounding too hard, for the way the world is going supernova. 

 ~*~ 

Romanov eyes the suit, the way he stands, broad and powerful, his Gatlin gun a heavy weight at his shoulder, protective at Tony’s back, in the aftermath of the attack,and her smile is small and knowing and he shoves it aside, and focuses on this--

Tony, alive, bright and beautiful and alive. 

His fingers itch, ache to reach out and touch. 

 ~*~ 

“We’re doing a rebrand,” Karen says. 

“It tested well,” Chad adds. 

“War Machine is just too--hostile,” Karen says, a moue of displeasure on her pretty lips. 

He doesn’t say, Tony named me that. 

He doesn’t say, Fuck your tests. 

He doesn’t say, I don’t want your goddamn brand. 

James Rhodes is a good soldier and this--this belongs to the USAF, despite the protests and safeguards Tony has raised. 

“We’re calling it Iron Patriot,” Karen says, brightly. 

“It tests well,” Chad adds.

Rhodey hates it. 

 ~*~ 

AIM handles the rebrand. 

The military has accepted that Tony is not getting back into weapons, wants to distance themselves and their personal watchdog from Stark and his tech, his weapons that they can no longer access. 

Rhodey understands the desire--but watching a stranger coding his armor, picking JO apart and pulling her out of the suit, stripping away the weapons Tony built to keep him safe and replacing them with AIM tech he doesn’t know--

He feels nauseated. 

They paint the suit, blue and red, stripes and stars, a callback to their greatest Soldier, and he hates it, hates it, because Tony built this, built him and he doesn’t want to lead a team of armored soldiers or super soldiers or heroes. 

He wants to do what he’s done his entire adult life. 

He wants to walk in Tony’s footsteps, familiar and recognized because of the light reflecting off his best friend. 

He doesn’t say anything, and when they tell him, brightly satisfied, that he won’t be mistaken for Ironman anymore, he chokes his screams behind his teeth. 

 ~*~ 

It goes to hell. 

The suit gets stolen, and Pepper gets stolen, and Tony’s shitty coping mechanisms save the day. 

And when it’s over, when he’s wrapped up in a suit that feels dirty and wrong instead of safe and his, he sees Tony watching him, Pepper curled in his arms, and he doesn’t recognize the look in his friend’s eyes. 

 ~*~ 

Tony isn’t speaking to him. 

He doesn’t notice, not right away. There’s the mess to clean up, the President to return and debrief. 

Tony is busy making sure Pepper doesn’t die, and working with the best in the medical field to get his own heart put back together. 

He’s there, of course he’s there, when Tony goes under the knife again. 

But Tony doesn’t speak to him, not really, not in the hospital or after, and then he’s busy with the move from LA to New York and Rhodey is deployed again.

It’s pushed aside. 

 ~*~ 

“Tony’s pissed at me,” he tells Pepper. 

“I am really not who you should be talking to about this,” she sighs. 

“Pepper--” 

“We broke up,” she says, abruptly, and that makes him go quiet. “So you need to figure out your shit, and get back to him. He needs you.” 

“I don’t know what upset him,” Rhodey says. 

She barks a laugh, because Pepper has never cared about appearances with Rhodey, something that never fails to make him smile. “You know--Tony won’t make anyone else a suit. Not even the Avengers or SHIELD--they asked. He didn’t even make me a suit, when we were dating. You’re it. And that suit--Rhodey. It’s a giant gun toting sign that says ‘property of Tony Stark, don’t fucking touch.’” 

He’s silent and she laughs in earnest, now, delighted and shocked, “You didn’t know.” 

“He didn’t say,” Rhodey protests and she laughs and hangs up on him. 

 ~*~ 

“Pepper said something interesting,” he says, stepping out of the suit on the landing pad. It gleams, silver and familiar, so close to the Iron man armor that they can be--are--mistaken again. 

“Pepper says a lot of interesting things,” Tony says, his gaze flicking back to the suit, and some of the tension in his shoulders going loose. 

Rhodey extends a sheaf of papers. “The Brass signed off on this, this morning,” he says. 

Tony eyes it warily and then huffs and takes it from him, because Tony’s hangups about being handed things never extended to Rhodey and how had he never known. 

Tony’s eyes flick up to him, shocked and hopeful. 

“Apparently saving the President’s life means I can call in favors. As of this morning, the War Machine can only be upgraded and maintained by you,” Rhodey says. “And only piloted by me.” 

“Why?” Tony asks, and Rhodey huffs. 

Reaches out and draws him close with a hand on his hip, and hope is wild, burning in Tony’s eyes. 

“Because I don’t want anyone else touching what you made me,” he murmurs. 

“Because you keep me safe,” he breathes, and Tony whines, the words brushing over his lips. 

“Because I’m yours and that suit that you gave me--I only want you touching it,” he says softly, lips brushing over his jaw and the corner of his lips. “I only want you touching me.” 

Tony makes a noise, half sob, and Rhodey smiles and kisses him.

 ~*~ 

Later--

Later, after he has spread Tony across his bed, when he has come down Tony’s throat and fingered him open, when Tony has dug crescents into his shoulders and come, white and sticky across Rhodey’s abs, head tipped back, face slack with pleasure, eyes bright and trained on Rhodey, when he’s come, spilled in the tight heat of Tony and wrapped around him, kissed him until his lips feel swollen and bruised, when he scoops his come from where it’s dripping down Tony’s thigh, presses it back in, fingers pressing in and making Tony groan--

After he carries Tony to the tub and cradles him against his chest in the water, Tony leans his head back against Rhodey’s shoulder. 

“You coulda said,” Rhodey murmurs. “Mighta been easier to write it on my forehead--property of Tony Stark.” 

Tony flushes, still shy and Rhodey smiles, kisses him gently. “It’s fair, you know.”

“Why’s that, honeybear?” 

“You’ve been mine since MIT, genius. Only fair that I’m yours.” 

[sincerelyreidburke]

I've sent a couple of anon asks (one was sad face about Quinnster so maybe you're holding on to it) but I want to say again how valuable your continuation of the CP! extended universe has been during these crazy times. THANK YOU! But anyway, Ben totally marries some gorgeous woman/man/non-binary human being right and the world is blinded by their couple beauty? But ALSO anyway I want more DRAG BEN!? How, when, who finds out?!!

Hi, anon!! Thank you for your kindness!🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍 I’m pretty sure I’ve now answered that sad Quinn ask (if I’m thinking of the right one)— it’s right here. :D

Regarding your question about Rhodey’s far-future relationship experiences, it’s... a little complicated, and I can elaborate on that if it’s wanted, but rest assured he ends up very, very happy.🤍

And Drag Rhodey! Let’s get on that train. This is part 2 of a duo of asks about this concept, so let’s hop under the cut and keep talking about it. (Here’s part 1!)

(Ask/send me anything about the crickets!)

- So we’re here now for Drag Rhodey Facts. This will be a broad conceptual post. If you wish for me to elaborate further on any point I make in this post or made in the other Drag Rhodey ask, you know where to find me.

- We’ve established that his stage name is Isla Rhodelia. I do not accept constructive criticism at this time. Yes, I hate him, and yes, he’s a meme, and yes, he’s a fucking Rhode Island headass. We know all of this. I feel like he doesn’t come up with this name himself; it’s maybe Quinn who suggests it, as a half joke, but Rhodey latches onto it immediately. Thus: he is Isla.

- His style, once they nail it down through some trial and error, is sort of grungy. He has a couple of wigs, and most of them are dyed hair colors (I think his favorite one is, like, indigo). His eye makeup is always pretty bright, almost on the neon side?

- And his outfits are, like.... leather jackets, and tight pants, and sparkly things, but in mostly dark colors. It’s like he’s the lead singer of an alt band that sings about teenage rebellion. So in other words, Paramore.

- Quinn gets so much joy out of putting together his outfits. He’ll just sit in his bed in his room sewing sequins onto a bra top, and he has the time of his life. He also lives for choreographing his routines. Because you bet your ass he does that. He low-key rules with an iron fist because he takes it upon himself to be sure Rhodey has his shit together (at least in drag terms, otherwise he’s a lost cause) at all times.

- Rhodey picks the music, and Quinn puts together choreography. He does it out during idle time with Nando sometimes, just to brainstorm, and the sight of Quinn going through the dancing is just far too much for poor Nando. He’s too gay to function.

- Also,

Quinn at a kegster: Ben have you been practicing your routine for Saturday—

Rhodey, jumping over a table: Q!!!!!!! Keep your voice down, bro!!!!!! I’m undercover!!!!!!!

- Why is Rhodey undercover? Ha, okay, this is where we spill a little angst in our fun drag life imaginings. Rhodey starts this his sophomore year, and Whiskey is captain. I have this feeling that Whiskey still hasn’t fully accepted himself even by the time he’s a senior, and therefore Whiskey feels... kind of weird around Rhodey. The same way he felt weird around Bitty. Because Rhodey is unapologetic and unhesitating in terms of being himself, and Whiskey... isn’t there yet. He’s not sure if he’ll ever get there.

- So on a basic level, Rhodey is kind of scared of Whiskey’s standoffishness. Which isn’t like him, because he doesn’t get scared of people super often. He’s basically just terrified of the thought of Whiskey (and his other non-queer teammates) finding out that he’s doing this, because he feels like it’s going to get him in trouble on the team somehow.

- And yes, I know that this is Samwell Hockey, and that they have each other’s backs, and that the team as I write it in the CCU is well acquainted with having queer members and supporting that, but doing drag is significantly more outlandish than just having a same-sex partner or even participating in pride events. And it’s still college hockey. It’s still hockey.

- And Rhodey, as an NCAA athlete, does not like the thought of somebody finding out who could out him as Ben Shaley, Samwell University goalie, doing drag on the weekends. He knows the implications, off ice and on it, that would come with that being public knowledge.

- Therefore....... undercover.

- This creates the most hilarious thought of the crickets plus Quinn all crammed into Quinn’s room pregaming and getting ready to go out clubbing. Quinn does Rhodey’s makeup. Let me take you all on the journey that is that experience.

Quinn: (Minding his business and doing Rhodey’s mascara. He has Rhodey in a chair and he’s sort of bent over him. Because he’s doing his makeup, this requires him getting kind of close to Rhodey’s face.)

Rhodey: (Because he is an asshole.) Q, there’s so much tension between us right now.

Quinn: (Snorts.)

Nando: No, there is not.

Rhodey: Careful, Nan. I’m gonna steal your man. ;)))))

Quinn: Fucking sit still, Benjamin!

Rhodey: (Completely freezes because he fears for his life.)

Quinn: I will stab you with this mascara brush.

- And then like this.

Quinn: (Putting eyeliner on Nando because he has a hunch it’ll look very pretty and wants to test it out. He’s sitting in Nando’s lap to do it, and he has his legs around his waist.)

Rhodey: (From the other side of the room. Mid-getting dressed.) If you two start making out right now, I refuse to go out with y’all tonight.

Quinn: (Gives Rhodey a death glare, and then turns back to Nando all soft.) Ben, quit shit-talking and finish tucking.

Rhodey: (Pikachu gasp.)

Touille: (Falls off his chair laughing.)

- I cannot get the image out of my head of this slow-mo shot of all four of them walking in the parking lot to get to the club. Because it’s important to me that you know this, here’s what they wear.

Rhodey: is in drag.

Touille: Band shirts with blazers over them, and jeans, and sunglasses. He looks like some kind of grungy bouncer and definitely gets mistaken for Rhodey’s date.

Quinn: A mesh shirt he stole from the Chicago wardrobe closet when he did gender-bent Cell Block Tango and sent Nando into gay panic and some kind of tight pants, with sneakers, and Nando just..... can’t handle it at all.

Nando: Crop tops because, once he gradually gets out of his awful body image rut, Nando is a crop top king. (Quinn lives for it. Boyfriend tummy = free real estate.) And also, like, those pants that cuff at the bottom. I have no idea what the technical term for that is.

- Whatever. Anyway. Those are clubbing outfits. Rhodey kicks ass onstage and also he lives for it??? Quinn gives him a little pep talk because he’s kind of nervous before his first show (imagine that, Ben Shaley nervous), and it’s unbelievably wholesome.

- Touille regularly tells him he looks pretty and it goes straight to his gay head.

- I’m going on and on now, so I’ll cap it here, but, I will talk about this as much as you guys want me to.

Thank you for the ask! :D

[blackandblue13]

things william schuester should have been arrested for (season one):

01.01 - pilot

existing 

teaching spanish

taking over glee club 

not wearing a shirt 

putting mayo on terri’s sandwich 

framing finn for having weed and then blackmailing him into joining glee club

“accounting is sexy”

01.02 - showmance 

getting a license plate that says “glee”

thinking that “freak out” is a good song for glee club 

rapping

making emma so sad that she locked herself in her car to cry while listening to sad music in the pouring rain 

“everyone loves disco”

being shirtless again 

trying to “cure” emma of her ocd

apparently not knowing how to count to ten bc that was Not ten seconds

giving rachel’s “don’t stop believin” solo to quinn 

01.03 - acafellas

being a bad choreographer

thinking that starting a hip-hop a cappella group in his living room is a good idea 

being shirtless again? 

abandoning glee club for acafellas 

rapping again

not tying his bowtie 

01.04 - preggers

breathing

not understanding birth

not being tough 

intruding on ken and emma during lunch 

saying that he’s one of rachel’s only fans

tried to teach football players how to dance

01.05 - the rhodes not taken

telling emma about quinn’s pregnancy without asking finn beforehand

bringing back april rhodes 

01.06 - vitamin d

doing whatever fucking thing that was with his tongue 

guys vs. gals competition (sexism) 

tossing a baseball between his hands? 

“celebrity judge”

stressing out sue 

designating emma as the “celebrity judge”

having to go to the bathroom while ken proposed to emma 

that Look he gave emma towards the end of the episode? yeah i don’t like it 

01.07 - throwdown

looking like a crazy person 

that vein on his neck 

punching sue on the arm 

threatened to destroy sue

has curly hair (makes it hard for sue to trust him)

bad at teaching spanish 

touched sue on the arm even after she threatened a lawsuit 

licking his lips 

trying to dance

was mean to sue (even tho she was mean to him too)

“because you’re all minorities. you are in the glee club”

01.08 - mash-up 

“bust a move” is one of his favorite songs 

unbuttoned his shirt in a public high school (he had a t-shirt on underneath but it was still gross) 

more rapping 

sang sex lines that seemed to be directed towards the cheerios 

danced? 

annoyed kurt with his dancing 

wearing sunglasses indoors 

he put the shirt back on but he didn’t button it up and his t-shirt underneath is a v-neck and i can see his chest hair that’s disgusting 

is he rapping again? twice in one episode?? 

he cannot dance and yet he is “dancing” around emma and he’s singing ken’s favorite song this is completely inappropriate 

tripped on emma’s wedding dress train when he was trying to dance 

danced in the middle of a wedding dress store 

smiled at emma 

01.09 - wheels 

bad at spying 

01.10 - ballad 

sang “endless love” with rachel 

caused suzy pepper to eat a really hot pepper and burn a hole in her esophagus and enter a 3-day medically-induced coma 

01.11 - hairography 

drinking milk 

wrong about sue’s interest in glee club 

“here’s the problem with sue sylvester” wrong, there is no problem 

step ball change 

he gave rachel a Look during the jane addams school’s performance of “bootylicious” 

tried to be intimate with his wife

hairography 

01.12 - mattress 

blocked terri from seeing the tv 

was out of line with emma 

the entire interaction with terri scares me every time. it wasn’t a healthy relationship for either of them, but he was still way too aggressive when he confronted terri

used a mattress (although he didn’t know he wasn’t supposed to use it)

used the phrase “gussied up” 

01.13 - sectionals

talked over emma

01.14 - hell-o

mentioned alexander graham bell (who was, in fact, a bitch)

looking at emma like that (omfg gross)

“i could just lean over and kiss you if i want to. and i want to” shut the fuck up 

sang over neil diamond

cheated on emma with shelby

associated the same song (”hello” by neil diamond) with two different gals (terri and emma) 

made emma cry again (count: 2)

01.15 - the power of madonna 

being a man 

stole madonna from sue 

had too much margarine in his hair 

insulted sue 

wore a v-neck

01.16 - home 

wore another v-neck (gross) 

01.17 - bad reputation 

his shirt too many unbuttoned buttons 

“performed” “ice ice baby” (if you would call that a performance) 

he rapped, he danced, he got the rest of the glee club to do the “ice ice baby” backup and they danced with him. these poor students. they don’t deserve this. 

is a slut 

isn’t good enough for emma

man-whore 

thought he could make it up to emma with flowers and a sad apology well sucks for you william but she’s too good for you 

01.19 - dream on 

too much unbuttoned 

sang aerosmith for a “les miz” audition 

audition outfit straight out of a 90′s boyband 

got the lead in “les miz” 

insulted bryan ryan and made him want to punch will in the face 

01.20 - theatricality 

doesn’t think vampires are real 

made out with rachel’s mom (not in this episode, but i knew he was thinking about it when mercedes told the new directions about shelby) 

too much unbuttoned 

he mimed the string instruments when the boys were singing “beth”

didn’t have an actual lesson in mind 

touched tina’s shoulder yuck

slow clap

01.21 - funk

broke sue’s trophy 

the way he looked at terri during the whole divorce-signing scene? disgusting 

creeped santana out 

suggested that the new directions prank vocal adrenaline in retaliation 

then called it a “harmless prank” when puck and finn slashed the range rover tires of vocal adrenaline 

“we are gonna get funked up”

“~funky town~”

zoned out when rachel was talking about jessie breaking her heart 

hitting on sue

wasted two minutes of sue’s time 

will: you ain’t got / me: *mutes the volume*

this entire number jesus fucking christ i can’t look at the screen i can’t go into detail or else i’ll be scarred for life 

why is he seducing sue 

he took his jacket off put that thing back on this instant william 

not another v-neck

he enunciated way too much and got way too close to sue’s face

made sue think she had romantic feelings for him

got sue flowers and appletini carbogel things

said he and sue had chemistry

“the only thing i want is sue” 

touched sue’s hair 

asked her out to dinner 

“you know what wednesday is right? hump day” 

that fucking look yuck 

led her on and stood her up

another unnecessary v-neck

caused sue to pull out of nationals 

went to sue’s house 

wouldn’t let the glee guys beat up jessie and the rest of vocal adrenaline 

touched rachel’s phone (babe you gotta boil that) 

he only has two buttons on his shirt and both of them are undone 

licked his lips 

almost kissed sue 

his breath stinks of mediocrity 

01.22 - journey to regionals 

his hair looks like a briar patch 

invited the new directions to his house? is that legal??

stopped his car in the middle of the road 

and cried 

said that glee club sucked (nine months ago) (when there were only five of them)

got emo

almost became an accountant 

~journey medley~

made fun of finn’s dancing

his offstage dancing sucks

kissed emma 

made sue sad 

hugged rachel 

touched her shoulders 

played the ukulele 

way too much unbuttoned. you’re in a school, william

[reddeadmort]

Hey this might sound stupid but I’ve been feelin kinda down about myself recently could you do a oneshot where the reader has low self-esteem and doesn’t thinks she’s attractive and stuff so Arthur takes it upon himself to cheer her up and make her feel better (it’s okay if you don’t wanna, I just think some soft Arthur would make me feel better ♥️) thanks x

Nawwwww we all know Arthur would make it his mission to cheer you up; though he’d probably be really confused as to why you were sad, as he thinks you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever met.Again, I wasn’t meaning to do any backstory/pre-amble, but it just kind of happened…..

I’ve tried to deliberately leave the details vague on the areas affecting the reader’s self-esteem to make it mouldable to whatever you need cheering up about :) Though, I would say this; it’s called self-esteem for a reason. It needs to come from within you; there’s no quick fix, but certainly hearing that you’re loved by Arthur might help! Just keep on trying to re-jig your brain, positively reinforce good thoughts and don’t linger on negative ones. Enjoy :) x

Arthur x F reader | “Esteem? Mine field is barren.”

Guidance: Just fluff, lovely lovely fluff.

Words: 2.1k

“Good mornin’, darlin’“. Arthur kissed the back of your neck as he stood behind you, wrapping his arms around you in a gentle embrace. 

“Morning Arthur” you smiled, placing your hands on his. “You want some coffee?” 

“Mhmm I’d rather have you.” Arthur smiled as he kissed your shoulder.

“Don’t be silly Arthur, coffee’s much better than me” you said as you pulled away, pouring him a cup. You felt embarrassed by his attention, you didn’t really know why. You loved being held in his arms, but lately, every time he did, you couldn’t help but hear those little voices… “he’ll leave you” “he’s far too good for you” “he’d be so much happier with Mary” “he’s only with you because he never meets anyone else”.  It wasn’t his fault, he seemed to worship you, god knows why. You just….well…… didn’t feel comfortable in your own skin. Or your own clothes, which were growing more ragged by the day. 

You hadn’t always felt this way; when you first started courting Arthur, you were full of confidence. You knew exactly what you wanted - him - and knew you could get it. Arthur had been a bit surprised by your self-assured approach to begin with, bemused as to why you were focusing on him; but it didn’t take long for him to want more, to want you. But the last few years of life in the gang had taken its toll. One too many failed scam of yours, too much running, too much stress. That horrible incident in the Rhodes saloon last week had just been too much. 

You’d just been trying to have a nice meal with Mary-Beth and Abigail, a bit of time away from the camp, anything to let you pretend life was more normal. You were nearly done when those men  - and by men, you meant degenerates - decided that you three need some company. You still didn’t understand how a man like Arthur - someone who killed, robbed, stole - was more of a gentleman than most of the other men you met. You’d politely told them you were fine, thank you, but they wouldn’t take no for an answer. When you’d been more forceful they’d turned on you. “We weren’t talkin’ to you, ugly. Why would you think we’d want the likes of you” they’d sneered. “I wouldn’t even let my dog fuck you”. They’d shut the hell up pretty quickly with yours and Abigail’s knives to their throats, but still….. their words had stuck with you, crept into your thoughts every time you caught a glimpse of yourself in Arthur’s shaving mirror. 

You went to give Arthur his coffee, but instead of taking it he put both hands on your face, staring into your eyes.

“Darlin’, nothin’s better than you. Just seein’ you every day make me smile.” He kissed your forehead gently before resuming eye contact. “And seein’ you in the evening…. while that makes me a whole other kind of happy.” Arthur winked as he let his hands fall from your face and took the coffee.

“You’re a strange man Mr Morgan, you should get that head looked at.” You  laughed and gave Arthur a little fake smile. “I best be getting on before Miss Grimshaw has words.”

—– 

Arthur watched you walk away, shaking his head. He’d noticed a change in you, but didn’t really understand what; you weren’t quite yourself. You still smiled, and laughed, but he’d seen a sadness in your eyes that appeared when you let your mind wander. 

“Mornin’ Mary-Beth. You well?”

“Yes thank you Arthur. How’s things with you?”

“Well, I’m alright. but something’s a bit off with (Y/N). She’s been a bit..well… I don’t know how t’say it. It’s like she don’t like herself no more.” 

Arthur shuffled awkwardly - he was used to that feeling, the self-hatred, and he knew how unpleasant it was.

“Yeh, I know Arthur, I’ve seen it too. I told you about the saloon didn’t I?”

“Yeh Mary-Beth, you did, thanks. I just….I always tell her much I love her, and how gorgeous she is - and it’s true Mary-Beth, it’s true, I’ve got the drawings to prove it - but it don’t seem to help. I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, unfortunately just cause she’s hearing it from you Arthur doesn’t mean her brain is listening. It’s something she’ll need to work on herself, and she’ll get there; but whatever you do, just don’t stop trying. It’ll be helping, I promise.” 

“Mhmmm, if you say so.”

“Tell you what Arthur, I’ve got some ideas from a book I just read. Come sit with me a while and I’ll explain”.

——      

“Come on (Y/N), we’re goin’ shopping. For a…. job you’ll be doin’”. Arthur smiled as gently took you by the shoulders and turned you in the direction of your tent. 

“I can’t Arthur, I’ve got things to do. Miss Grimshaw will kill me if I don’t have this all done by the end of the afternoon” you protested, but not wholeheartedly - of course you’d rather be shopping than scrubbing and skinning.

“Yeh you can, I’ve spoke to her, Mary-Beth’s coverin’ ya. Grab what you need for an overnight too.”

“What on earth are you planning Mr Morgan?” You loved it with Arthur surprised you, but it did make you nervous too. 

“Nothin’ bad darlin’, just trust me” he winked at you as he walked away to ready the horses. 

The ride to Saint-Denis was pleasant; you rode mostly in silence, as you often did, both lost in your own thoughts. Arthur brought you both to a stop outside one of Saint-Denis’ many upmarket clothing boutiques. 

“Come on darlin’, we need to get you a new outfit” Arthur said as he helped you off your horse. 

“Arthur, what on earth do I need a new outfit for?” 

“Errr… a job Hosea needs help with. You need somethin’ posh, like one of them ladies of leisure. Whatever one of them is.” You laughed at this, and Arthur loved it when those little creases appearing at the corner of your eyes when you did.

“Okay Mr Morgan, lead the way.” 

You enjoyed trying on the dresses and silly hats; you weren’t used to wearing something that required two people to put on, but it was fun pretending that this was your normal laugh. Arthur was doing his best to behave, being very polite with his compliments, but you could tell from the way he shuffled in his chair and bit his lip that you putting clothes on was the opposite of what was on his mind. It was nice to be wearing clothes that were better designed, fit you well; this, and the combination of the faces Arthur was making but trying to hide were making you feel quite pleased with. 

“You know darlin’ I reckon that last one was perfect. You get that one on again, I’ll get the bill sorted. Here, mister - I mean, sir - are you able to have one of the girls help her with her here? We’ve got a meetin’ to go to.” 

“Arthur, you didn’t say we were doin….it….now?” You frowned, you didn’t like not being prepared or forewarned. 

“Don’t worry, we ain’t, just need you to be seen somewhere for a bit, maybe meet someone briefly. trust me darlin’, you’ll enjoy it.” He kissed you on the hand before continuing. “I’ll head on ahead to the bar, get a few things sorted - it’s the one just a few doors up. You come on in when you’re ready and I’ll meet you at the bar.” Before you could object, Arthur was paying the shopowner and leaving. You were panicking a bit as the girls fussed and pulled at your hair; what the hell was going on? You tried your best to calm yourself, to slow your breathing. It’s Arthur. He may be daft but he isn’t stupid, if he says it’s okay it will be. But you were still a bit miffed at him, and without him here saying how pretty the dress was, you started feeling like it was a bit….much. But you went along with it, like you always did. 

After much longer than you’d have liked, you were finally making your way into the bar. This was one of Saint-Denis’ finer establishments, and you were actually glad that you were dressed up. Unfortunately, Arthur was nowhere to be seen. You sighed, and walked up to the bar to order yourself a whiskey. Just as the bartender poured it, a familiar deep voice rumbled next to you. 

“Please put that on my tab sir.” You turned, smiling, to look at Arthur, and your jaw dropped. He looked……. magnificent, all dressed up in an evening suit, with his hair slicked back with pomade. You were so used to seeing him covered in some combination of mud, blood and sweat, seeing him like this was a shock. Before you could say anything, Arthur turned to address you.

“Good evenin’ Ma’am. I do hope you don’t mind. My name’s Tacitus Kilgore. I’m looking for the most beautiful woman in Saint-Denis, and I do believe that maybe you”. You blushed at this, finally shutting your slightly open mouth. 

“May I request the name of the beauty standin’ before me?” Arthur gave you a sly grin, which you returned.

“Why o’course Master Kilgore.” It hadn’t taken you long to perfect a southern drawl, and you slipped right into it. “Ma name’s Penelope Balfour.”

“Penelope Balfour? Well that name’s just about deservin’ of that gorgeous face.”

“Oh Master Kilgore, don’t be sayin’ things like that, you’ll be givin’ a girl ideas” you gave a delicate laugh as you spoke, drawing and opening the fan that had come with the outfit.

“Miss Balfour, please call me Tacitus. I would be honoured if you’d join me for dinner.”

“Why, Tacitus, very forward of you” you giggled as you fanned yourself. 

“Well, Penelope, I figured I best ask before a queue formed behind me.”Arthur was laying it on thick you thought. But hell, you didn’t care. This was fun.

“I’d be delighted Tacitus” you smiled, offering your arm to Arthur as he took it and gently steered you to a table. 

The rest of the evening was filled with laughter, as you and Arthur - Penelope and Tacitus - shared increasingly outlandish stories about their backgrounds, peppering each story with the fanciest compliments you could think of. 

“Penelope, I do believe I’ve fallen in love with you. Would you care to join me in my room for a nightcap.”

“Oh Tacitus, that’s very kind o’ you. I could do with a lie-down, all these drinks have made me light-headed”

Giggling, you made your way upstairs arm in arm. As Arthur shut the door to the room you assumed he’d rented for the night, you burst out laughing, you couldn’t help yourself. 

“Arthur, what the hell was that” you managed to get the words out as you wheezed. “That was no job!”

“I just wanted to make you smile darlin’” he said as he lifted your head by the chin so you were looking at him. “I love hearin’ you laugh.” He smiled at you and kissed you softly on the lips.

“Well you did that, for sure. But what’s with the dress and all the compliments?” 

Arthur looked more serious now. “I just wanted to….release you a bit. Help you relax. I know you’ve been stressed, and you’ve been gettin’ down on yourself. But darlin’, you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. And I know it might not mean much, and that it’ll take more than that to convince ya, but I’ll keep on sayin’ it as long as you let me. And I’ll always be here darlin’, waitin’ for you, adoring you.”

His words were as gorgeous as his face, and you nearly burst into tears. You threw your arms around his shoulders and kissed him hard. 

“Mr Morgan, I don’t know what I’d do without you, you fantastic man. Now help me get this damn dress off.”

“I’ve been lookin’ forward to this bit” he said as he bit his lip, turning you round to undo the laces on your corset. 

So have I Arthur, so have I. You sighed gently as Arthur carefully worked his way up your back. You had a little way to go, you knew that, but if you grew to love yourself a fraction of the amount Arthur did, you knew you’d be okay.

[iloveyouthree-thousand]

Stark: An American Musical

So this is an idea I dreamed up a while ago: a series of loosely connected one-shots based on the songs from Hamilton. I have no explanation for it other than, like, it sounded fun? And I kinda want to rip your hearts out with It's Quiet Uptown. Pre-Endgame. Post CACW.

Track #1 // Anthony Stark

"Holy mother of—you bastard, orphan, son of a—good God that hurts," Rhodes hissed through through his teeth as Tony tightened the metal device around his leg.

"I thought cripples weren't supposed to feel pain," Tony said, feeling Rhodey's nails sink into his skin, "and didn't you go through special ops training? Shouldn't this feel like nothing to you?"

"You want to try it on and see how it feels?"

"If it means I get to be the one digging my ridiculously long fingernails into your arm, then maybe. Seriously buddy, when's the last time you trimmed these talons?"

Rhodes dug his nails in deeper.

"Fu—okay, that was uncalled for," he winced as he rubbed his arm, "and you know what else was uncalled for? The orphan comment. Little soon, don't you think?"

"It's been over thirty years."

Tony frowned, now working on tightening the device on the other leg.

"God I'm old. Which means you're even older. FRIDAY, remind me to look at nursing homes for my geriatric pal here later this week." He grinned as Rhodey narrowed his eyes and smacked him across the chest.

"Just because I'm a paraplegic doesn't mean I won't kick your ass Tony."

He just laughed. "Alright buddy, all done. How does that feel?"

His friend stood up and took a hesitant walk down the hallway.

"You know, I feel like I should write down the date, maybe put it in a scrapbook. Rhodey's first steps. This is such a proud father moment for me. It's exciting for you, too, of course, but mostly for me."

Rhodes rolled his eyes. The injury was still fresh, and he was still coming to terms with his decreased mobility. It was hard, for both of them, but they had hope.

Tony had been working on the contraption, forgetting to sleep at times, designing and creating in a guilt-ridden, coffee-driven haze. A smirk never failed to light up Tony's eyes, but Rhodey would never not notice the dark circles drooping just below. He knew better.

He also knew better than to try and tear Tony away from a project, especially one driven by the overwhelming sense of responsibility he never seemed to shake.

"Save the proud father moments for your protégé. Don't think I haven't seen the new models of his suit lying all over this complex while mine, I might add, is still parachute-less. Traitorous bastard."

Rhodes had slid carefully onto the floor, the act of walking taking a lot more energy now that his limbs were rather uncooperative. It killed Tony a little bit, to see his best friend drained from a task that had once been so menial. At least it was progress.

He wordlessly joined him on the ground.

"Actually, I think it was bastard, orphan, son-of-a-bitch," he corrected. "I think that'd be a good title for my autobiography. Maybe I'll write it on my headstone... actually, that's definitely what I want. Make a note of that for my funeral plans. And as long as we're making plans, I want you to give the eulogy."

If there was a look for 'you've finally crossed the threshold to insanity', it was emanating off of Rhodes right now.

"You must be out of your damn mind."

Tony feigned hurt, pressing his hand over the spot where his arc reactor used to rest.

"Why? Because you think you'll die first? Come on, I've got a death wish and, like, zero regard for danger. You live ten years longer than I do, minimum."

"I don't have a parachute."

"Exactly! You didn't even have a parachute and you're still a living, whining, pain in the ass."

He clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. "Can't Pepper give the damn eulogy?"

Tony's face twisted exaggeratedly, like that was the most absurd comment he'd heard in his entire life.

"What, and put her through even more than she'd already have gone through? We both know I'm going to go out in spectacular, gut-wrenching fashion, don't tell me you'd actually make her get up there and give a whole speech after that. She'll have enough on her plate."

"Oh, so she'll be too emotionally vulnerable but, sure, let's make your best friend get up there and do it instead."

Tony's mouth pulled to the side of his face. "Careful, pal. I never fully committed to you being my best friend. I do live with Pepper, tell her all my dark, dirty secrets. You're easily a close second, though."

His eyes narrowed in a glare.

"You say something stupid like that again and I'll be the reason you're having a funeral."

"Rhodey, you know I love you both—just in different ways." A smirk was practically eating his face, but his friend was having none of it.

"Oh yeah? Who'd you give a suit to, Tony? I don't see Pepper up there kicking ass next to you."

"One—if I recall correctly, you stole the suit. Two—I'm pretty sure Pepper has killed at least half of the guys I've gone up against. And three—if we're basing friendships off of suits, as you mentioned earlier, then Peter Parker is my best friend... speaking of, he should be here any minute."

Tony lifted his watch to his face, the screen lighting up as he checked the time.

"Remind me again why the fifteen-year-old is always over here now?"

"He's helpful. He helped me design that," he pointed at the metal device Tony had been painfully tightening onto Rhodey's leg a few minutes earlier. "It's much more ergonomic than the last one."

Rhodes raised an eyebrow. "The kid helped you design this?"

"Don't doubt him, he's practically a genius—probably smarter than you."

He punched Tony in the arm.

"I went to M.I.T. too, remember? Degree in Aerospace Engineering? Give me some credit, man."

"Huh. See, I have vague memories of that, but I was busy having fun in college—,"

"You were busy destroying your liver."

"I was living out my glory days."

"Oh, trust me, there was nothing glorious about puking all over our bathroom every other weekend."

Tony pressed his lips together. "Yea... let's maybe not bring that up in front of Pete."

A look that Tony couldn't decipher passed Rhodey's face. "What exactly is the deal with you and this kid? Did some of that fun in college have some permanent, teenaged consequences?"

His friend had noticed several different trials of red and blue Spider-Man suits lying around for a few weeks now, but he hadn't questioned it because Tony had always outfitted the team and, well, the team was pretty sparse as of late.

Of course, Tony still had a new prototype for Captain America's shield in the works and some upgraded arrows for Clint lying around on a workbench somewhere, among other things.

He could only work on them for so long, though, before the gadgets just became glaring reminders of the faces that were now absent from the Compound.

Making suits for Spider-Man kept Tony busy. It made him feel productive. Worthwhile. He wasn't left with such an empty feeling in his chest.

Tony scoffed. "Jesus, Rhodey, he isn't mine. Thank God. I've already screwed with his life enough." He took his tinted glasses off and fiddled with them in his hands. "I just found the kid online, but no one was going to take him seriously in his homemade Halloween costume, so I gave him a little upgrade."

Rhodey might've believed that, if it weren't for the Midtown High sweatshirt draped across one of the couches or the newspaper clippings of the spandex-wearing superhero clandestinely taped to Tony's desk.

"That still doesn't explain why he's over here all the time."

"I was just going to give him the suit and let him go back to doing his own thing... but he managed to break all the security locks I set in a little over a week and then decided to single-handedly take on Sam Wilson's evil alter-ego."

"You gave a child genius a million-dollar toy and you didn't think he'd play with it?"

Tony turned to face him before deadpanning, "I don't have a lot of experience with teenagers, okay? It was stupid, I know, but I'm trying to make up for that by having him over here—letting him have a say in the design process and actually teaching him how to use it—because he has little regard for my built-in training protocols. And he's good help."

Rhodey was about to ask if Peter's more frequent visits had anything to do with the quiet silence that now haunted the compound whenever he or Pepper were out, but he was interrupted by one-hundred and forty-one pounds of pure excitement practically bounding out of the elevator.

"Mr. Stark! So there was this guy on the subway today who tried to swipe a phone from this other guy, and I saw the whole thing happen but I couldn't do anything about it because he was too far away and I couldn't squeeze through all the people, but—oh, h-hey Mr.—Mr. Col. Rhodes, Sir."

Tony looked amused.

"Pete, I'd like you to my best pal Mr. Col. Rhodes, also known as Rhodey, also known as War Machine... it is War Machine, right? We're officially over the Iron Patriot thing?"

He ignored Tony, pushing against his shoulder to stand up, before reaching out to shake Peter's hand.

"It's nice to meet you, Peter." He shot his attention over to the other man in the room. "And what happened to 'Pepper's my best friend', huh, Tony?"

Tony held out a hand to Peter, who obligingly helped him up to his feet, while maintaining eye contact with Rhodes.

"I mean, you are the one giving my eulogy."

"Am not."

"Rhodey, come on, you give the best speeches. Remember that one you gave in like 2009? At the White House? FRIDAY, play the speech."

"No. FRI—,"

"Playing Colonel Rhodes' Presidential Medal of Honor Introduction Speech."

Peter stood awkwardly in front of the two men, terribly confused, as a familiar voice rang out over the speakers in the compound.

"I've been asked over and over again if I ever suspected my best friend was a superhero. The answer to that is—I've always known that he was different, and not just because he's a hell of a lot smarter than the rest of us. He grew up in the legacy of Howard Stark. No one was surprised when he turned out to be a genius—at fifteen, they placed him in advanced classes at M.I.T-,"

"FRIDAY, mute."

"FRIDAY, override."

"...but there's more to Tony than just brilliance. He's a self-starter. The only thing standing between him and what he wants is himself. When he saw his future dripping down the drain in Afghanistan, brought to his knees by weapons his company he'd created, left with nothing but ruined pride—something new inside broke through. Anyone else might've been dead in a week but Tony—he wouldn't let himself go out like that."

"FRIDAY, stop."

"FRIDAY, don't even think about it."

"...he put a pencil to paper and with nothing more than some scrap metal and the help of a new friend he plotted his way out of hell. He overcame certain death in a cave, but he didn't stop with self-preservation. He rewrote the game in the defense private sector. He saved his own life and then he saved countless others, and because of him, the world will never be the same."

"FRIDAY—," Rhodes threatened.

Tony cut him off. "Oh, come on, this is the best part." The recording kept playing.

"I know you already know his name, but it is my honor to present the medal of honor to my best friend, Tony Stark... Or, as many of you may know him: Iron Man."

"FRIDAY, off," Rhodes said, and Tony finally didn't protest. "Tell me you don't keep that around just to boost your ego. You know I only did that because the President asked me to. It wasn't for you."

"You keep telling yourself that."

The two men kept bantering, but throughout it all, Peter was eerily quiet. It only took a few seconds of his silence for Tony to realize something was up.

"Hey Pete, you look like you swallowed a frog. Everything all right up there?" he asked, raising his hand to gently pat him on the head.

The kid shook as if coming out of a trance. "Yea—yea, everything... everything's fine, it's just... aren't eulogies, like, the things you say at funerals?"

Rhodey answered, "Yes, they are. See, Tony, he thinks it's weird too."

Peter still looked like he had gotten kicked in the shins.

"No... I mean yeah, kinda, but that's not—Mr. Stark... are you dying?"

Tony looked confused for a second before... oh.

"God, kid, no—I'm not dying. I was just trying to mess with Rhodey here, I didn't mean to—."

"Oh thank God," Peter said, visibly relaxing, "don't scare me like that."

Then, he did something that made Rhodey nearly slide to the floor. Again.

His deceptively small arms wrapped around Tony's torso, and Tony hesitated for half of a second before tentatively and quickly returning the gesture.

For a second, it was a picture-worthy moment. But the second passed and the moment came to an end as both parties seemed to realize instantaneously that they were crossing boundaries.

"Right," Tony coughed, "Peter, why don't you show Rhodey some of the new features you dreamed up. I'm going to go get... some coffee. Try not to talk his ear off, he's the only one who still sometimes listens to me around here."

James Rhodes had known Tony for what felt like an eternity. He fought with him. Trusted him. And if the situation ever arose, he would die for the damn fool.

But the man who exited the room as if the soles of his shoes had caught fire, a wisp of crimson warmth on his cheeks, looked like a new man entirely.

There were a million things he suddenly wanted to ask Tony, a million places to prod, and he couldn't wait to do exactly that after the boy returned to his apartment in Queens for the night.

Right now, though, the kid was showing him the new thrusters Tony had built into the heels of the devices.

"...and if you do this, then the repulsors activate—,"

Peter pressed a button, and the chorus of T.N.T. came blaring through the room as the repulsors sent Rhodey crashing into the wall behind him.

Tony sauntered back into the room, a cup of coffee in hand and a snort on his face as he surveyed the scene. A flustered Peter Parker tried to hold back a laugh as he attempted to help a cussing, high-ranking military official up from a muddled heap on the floor.

"Oh yea. There's a bit of a learning curve. You'll figure it out," he garbled, mouth stuffed with a muffin that he had hidden in his other hand, "For now... consider this recompense for the orphan comment." He clapped a hand on the boy's shoulder, ushering him toward the shop, his friend still lying in an annoyed mess on the ground.

He'd help him later, of course, but the look on Rhodey's face gave him a pure, childlike joy that few things could. If Rhodes kicked his ass later—paraplegia and all—it would have been worth it a hundred times over.

So he led a mildly concerned Peter Parker away, chuckling as his best friend's voice faded into the background.

"Don't you even think about walking away without teaching me how to use these things. Tony... Tony Stark you better not be walking away from me. Don't be a dick. Come back here, you heartless, pompous, snowflake... I know you know I'll get you back for this... quit acting like a teenaged punk... Anthony Stark!"

Tony laughed under his breath and kept walking. Rhodes always came up with the nicest things to call him.

[tarithenurse]

New Years Eve

Pairing: Sam Wilson x Avenger!Reader Content: Pining, fluff, lemons. Don’t read if you’re not old enough. A/N: Refound the draft for this which I must have started back in December 2017. Thought it was about time to finish it...even if it’s not really NY Eve soon. And still...didn’t do proper proof reading. Sorry.

”The party of the year”, had been the way Tony described it when he secured your attendance for his New Years bash more than two months ago. Since then, you’d only heard rumours about the plans, and you’d been too preoccupied about getting through your solo-mission to spare a thought. That’s why you’d more than happily accepted when Wanda and Natasha had offered to sort whatever was needed that night.

Leaning back in the car seat, you really hope your two friends and co-Avengers have kept their end of the promise, whatever it might entail. No texts or calls have come your way which had been rather relaxing. For a while. Now not so much. Both Wanda and Nat are perfectly capable of being reasonable adult with common sense, but sometimes they end up in a mood where they wind each other up. Add Clint to the mix and the result will be disastrous, yet brilliant, pranking. For all you know, you might be on the way back to a cellophane covered room and a New Year’s outfit suitable for disguising the wearer as a flamingo.

...

Even after very careful inspection of your rooms, you’ve not been able to find any pranks lurking. And the outfit? It couldn’t have been better which is good because a few hours from arrival to party-start wouldn’t have left you with a whole lot of option. Why not re-use a dress or something? That’s what you normally would, but in usual Stark style the party has to be themed and this time it’s “animals” – hence the worry about the flamingo. But you’re in luck and the outfit is perfect.

More than perfect, you admit to yourself as you smooth a hand over the tightfitting number you’ve wriggled into. Tiny, faux scales in an oily-black shade is covering your body, only broken by the plunging cleavage and daring slit at along the thigh and a series of red accents that shimmer like fire across you chest and hips. Unfortunately, it does little to steel your nerves. It’s too…too…little! You feel exposed, naked.

A knock on the door barely precedes Natasha and Wanda who come barging in. They’re ready to go (one as a tiger and the other representing her alias’ namesake) and are here to put the last touches to their plan.

…

“I feel…like someone else!”

The woman staring back at you from the mirror is perfect. Dark makeup compliments the outfit (normally you’d only go as wild as mascara), and the usually unruly hair has been tamed into a surprisingly long, sleek braid that on its own looks like the snake you symbolize.

“You don’t like it?” Wanda cocks her head, causing the plushy tiger-ears to wobble endearingly.

You frown at the mirror. “I…I do! It’s just so…not how I normally look…” Do you? “That there,” you gesture helplessly, “she’s…I mean…hot and I’m not.”

“Jeez, good thing we got you sorted then.” Natasha’s adjusting the red/black corset one last time but spares a glance in your direction. “It’s about time you see what everyone else sees.”

Everyone? There’s no room in your head to consider the possible implications of that, so you try to ignore the hot bubble of nerves in your stomach. It’s just Nat and Wanda saying it. They’re your friends. Supportive, sweet, honest…but not objective. Hell, you wouldn’t be surprised if a couple of the guys would claim you were pretty either. Like Tony, he compliments anyone he meets on their outfits or whatnot (even if there’s nothing new about it), and Thor and Steve are the biggest sweetheart although one is quiet and the other is boisterous about it. Yeah, but what about Sam. And there you go, thinking exactly what you didn’t want to.

Sam used to be your friend. A buddy you hung out with and who showed you the ropes when you joined the Avengers. You still try to do that, but each moment around him is close to painful because you don’t see him as a casual friend anymore. You should because that’s what you guys are…but it’s not enough. What you feel for him is so much more. Trusting him with your life would be the easiest thing. And there’s no limit to what you’d do for him both in the field and outside to make sure he is safe and happy. Fuck.

“Hey! Viper, where you at?” Nat’s voice reaches through the swirling thoughts.

Both ladies are waiting at the open door, ready to head out. Mumbling an apology, you hurry after them, hoping they don’t notice your quickened breath and pulse.

“Why a black snake?” Standing in the elevator, it’s only now that it strikes you as odd. “I mean…as Viper it would make sense to use that for the animal tonight.”

“People might get suspicious,” Wanda shrugs, busy inspecting her nails.

Nat’s busy looking for something in her tiny purse but manages to talk past a thin knife: “Bwe’ide, ‘omeone elwe claimed it.”

…

You’d been lucky that there already were plenty people at the venue, meaning you could snake in between the other guests and head straight for the bar (ditching your friends at the same time).

“Gin ‘n tonic, please.”

Waiting for the drink, you look around the place. It’s busy, both at the bar running the length of the ball room, but also at the place in general. Hundreds of people are milling about, snatching canapés from trays carried by various birds (not actual birds, but waiters dressed as flamingos, cranes and so on). Huge tables with champagne pyramids is the only “classic” New Year’s theme while the place has been invaded by what appears to be an entire jungle. Lush green plants and exotic flowers create section in the large area while trees and hanging plants mingle above the heads of the guests, infiltrating the chandeliers to the point where you don’t think they will ever get free again.

“There y’are!” Nat’s smoky voice curls around you together with your arm. “Found the others by the palm trees. Steve’s a cat with yarn and all.”

It’s impossible not to take than bait, so you let her lead the way as soon as you got the cool drink in hand. They’re a sight to behold. Not just Steve the Kitten, but also Tony the Unicorn (sporting a long horn with which he attempts to skewer hors d’oeuvres when Pepper the Peacock isn’t looking) and well, probably everyone, but of course your mind is being silly and making sure to get stuck on the sight of the one person you shouldn’t watch.

Hot damn. Green scales glitter in the light as they adorn Sam’s suit, making it looks as if a viper’s curling around his body in a way you wouldn’t mind mimicking. No! I shouldn’t think that. At least he hasn’t noticed you because he’s too busy examining the rear end of Tony.

“You installed cooling?” His warm voice muffled by the fake tail hanging down.

“Wha’?! He’s got air-con?!” An edge of betrayal is powering Rhodes’ disbelief. “Man, you said I couldn’t get my exo cooled!” Hurrying over to take a look through Stark’s rear, he pushes Sam aside.

“Hey! Wa–” But Sam never gets further.

His eyes are scorching your skin but it’s impossible to tell what he’s thinking. Out of sheer nervousness, you fidget with the metal straw in the drink, almost inhaling the clear liquid. Suddenly, the dress is too revealing, causing your guts to clench in a desperate plea for hiding, but the moment you try to move to get a bit behind Nat and Bucky, you feel the air breeze through the slit. Shit. Heat is rushing through your body.

“You’re looking good.” It’s Steve. “Like what Wanda and Nat have done, sticking with the venomous snake theme.” His friendly chuckle helps you soften up a bit as memories of your old life flashes by.

Growing up in the slums in the biggest city in South America had taught you a lot – even more so during the hardest periods where you stole away to survive in the jungle instead, figuring it was safer than being near the gangs and drug cartels. In hindsight, neither option could’ve been considered safe, but that was at least you learned enough to eventually take up the fight. Try to protect innocent people from the violent crime lords. That’s how you’d gotten onto the Avengers’ radar. Why they came to capture you. It was a good thing Clint had been there on that trip because he convinced the others to bring you back.

“Thanks. Feels odd not to wear something more…practical.”

A broad smile flashes. “I get it. Penguin suits are fine, but they aren’t made for moving.”

“That too.” Need to get away. “’Scuse me.”

Slipping away between the myriad of guests, you circle the room once while pretending to admire the decorations. In reality, you’re scoping the place for quiet corners and easy escape routes. But soon enough your feet are carrying you back to the bar for a refill. From there it’s possible to see most of the room…including the random flashes of a familiar green. My colour.

…

How can it not be near midnight?! It’s never been this awkward hanging out with the team. Sure, the chatting and fun is still going on…it’s just you that finds it hard to feel comfortable in your own skin as long as your near Sam. You’d tried talking to him, pretending everything’s fine. Normal. No unrequited love tearing you up from the inside, making it feel like someone has dripped your old venoms straight into your heart.

So you try to spend your time on the dance floor where no one expects you to carry on a conversation as you can lose yourself in the rhythms. Otherwise it’s the bar that calls, luring you with cold G&Ts until your head is buzzing comfortably. Not drunk…because you never know what can happen. 4th of July was bad, you remember, pushing the ice cubes around in the tall glass.

A delicate but strong hand clamps onto your shoulder, startling you.

“Relax, hon, just me.” The redhead takes a seat beside you. “Do you want me to ask or are you just gonna talk?”

“’Bout what?”

You don’t even have to look at her to know she’s rolling the eyes. “Why you moping.”

“Oh.” The straw clinks against your teeth. She’s bluffing. “Ask away. Doesn’t mean I got anything to tell.”

Somehow managing not to spill the martini, Nat whips around to face you. “Right, of course not. ‘Cause it’s not like you’ve been harbouring a huge crush on a special gentleman.” Your glare doesn’t discourage her. “Maybe you should consider why the viper was taken so quickly.” And with that she floats away, drink in one hand and hips swaying elegantly to the music.

…

Dancing with Steve is an interesting experience: as physically gifted as he may be, this is one thing he has a hard time getting the hang on although he does his best to follow your instructions while both of you are grinning like fools, the ending of the song still brings a certain relief. Until you turn around straight into Sam’s arms. For a second, he seems just as baffled as you do, but then his trademark crooked grin lights up his face.

“Guess there’s no way about it now…wanna dance?” A warm hand is already skimming along your hip although the other waits for your decision.

It’s odd how perfectly his fingers fit around yours, how his arms seem to create a bubble of calmness that seeps into you until your breath is even and your heartbeat follows an unheard rhythm. Fingers with blood-red nails slither across venomous-green faux scales until coming to a rest on Sam’s shoulder.

“Didn’t know you liked that colour.” It looks amazing on him. “You should use it in your uniform.”

They’re playing an old Frank Sinatra song that you’ve heard a million times, allowing your brain to switch off and Sam to lead you effortlessly.

“I’ve thought about it…didn’t wanna to steal from you, tho’.”

He twirls you in his arms before dipping you, causing your heart to pound rapidly against the ribs so hard he might hear it (especially considering how close to your cleavage his ear is). Not like you haven’t stolen anything already.

“Oh, is that so?” Pulling you back up, chest against chest, it’s evident that you must have spoken your thoughts. “What’d I steal, babe?”

Babe. Sure, he’s used nicknames before. He’s the master of thinking up witty monikers for everyone on the team and failing that there’s always the classical endearments which he freely uses for everyone. This time, though, it’s spoken in a soft purr that makes it sound anything like the usual banter. You can’t take your eyes off him as your try to kick your brain back into action. A quick sweep of the tongue to get your mouth working brings back the taste of lipstick and G&T, brings Sam’s focus onto the red colour adorning your lips and his eyes darken momentarily.

Maybe you should consider why the viper was taken so quickly. Nat’s words echo in your mind and small details that you’ve never really given much thought start to fall into place. The way Sam always makes sure there’s a spot on the couch on movie nights, or how he somehow checks in a bit more frequently on missions than with the others. He even knows how you like your tea and coffee, despite the fact that you aren’t sure yourself.

“Sam…” you bite your bottom lip, still nervous.

“[Y/N]?”

Somewhere outside the bubble he’s created, the music is still playing, and people are getting closer to the new year, but inside, it’s just the two of you standing closer than humanly possible, allowing your lips to brush easily over his. Maybe the soft sigh is from him, it doesn’t matter. Just the fact that he recaptures your lips to deepen the kiss is important. His hand travels up the back to cradle your neck, the other arm drawing you closer.

…

The party is far away across town when the new year approaches. Clothes are discarded around the familiar room as Sam looks at you from under heavy lips. His hand is resting on your head that bobs slowly in unison with your hand. Each time the tip of your tongue twirls around the crown of his cock he hums in approval and you can feel his muscles work under the free hand you’re supporting yourself with partially.

His erection twitches as moans become groans, maybe spurred on at the quiet laughter you can’t hold back. It’s exhilarating to have such power over him, but next moment it’s gone as he pulls your away. Sam’s got you on your back quicker than you’d anticipated, lips trailing hot over the goosebumps covering your body and then…then he’s the one in control as mouth, tongue and fingers play you like an instrument, coaxing sounds from you that increasingly sound like his name. Sound like begging.

Your limbs are shaking when he pulls you onto his lap. Hands on your hips, the gorgeous man allows you to set the pace after he has aligned the throbbing cock with your wet core, and as you finally glide down the shaft, as he fills you up more than anyone has before, both of you cling on.

Open mouths breathing hard. Sweat glistening on skin. Moans. Strangled cries of pleasure. Partially suspended above your arching body, your name tumbles from Sam’s lips while his hips rock into you. Harder, faster. Your legs are on the verge of cramping from the iron hold around his waist, ankles locking behind his backs while your nails are digging into his shoulder blades.

Outside the window, fireworks light up the night sky, their explosions nearly drowned out by his name as you both tumble over the edge and into the hazy sea of bliss.

[zeldadeservesbetter]

Coffee With The Gals (And Some Shooty Shoots)

((So this is another one that happened in my gameplay. Tbh it's a really good plot and i need some fluff because last night i was vv sad with Arthur's Breaking Point. So here's the concept picture(s), enjoy!))

((Sorry if some of them are blurry, i use my phone camera because im at my dads house rn))

For the past few weeks, Arthur had been working hard. Instead of stealing and robbing, he'd found a new hobby that he enjoyed. He would go out and pick herbs and make poultices with them, along with elixirs that kept people in generally good health. Half went to camp, and the other half he'd sell. He didn't make a lot of money doing it, mainly because he always found himself giving the mixtures to those who were poor or homeless and couldn't afford it.

For the first time in what felt like forever, Arthur actually felt good about himself. Everyone in Valentine and Rhodes adored him, and he found himself being flustered by local women a lot often than he used to. A caring generous man seemed to be what everyone wanted.

He knew everyone in camp could tell the difference in his attitude, he was almost always helping with chores and smiling constantly, and that in general helped the Van Der Linde gang get their hopes up and be happy again.

Dutch had pulled Arthur aside one day, telling him he needed to take a break and just relax for a day, and that they would do all the hard work and bring in some money for camp.

Eventually, Arthur agreed and trudged off to bed, finally realizing how tired he actually was. It was amazing, he was so happy and full of joy for the first time that he hadn't really noticed he had been working himself too hard.

Collapsing on his bed, Arthur almost instantly fell asleep, hat draped over his head and his arm dangling off the side of his cot as he snored rather loudly.

The next morning, Arthur woke up with a loud yawn, stretching his arms. Almost immediately he was ready to go out and pick herbs, but quickly remember today was his "day off".

Smiling as he grabbed his coffee cup, Arthur walked over to the stew pot where the coffee was, mumbling a brief "good mornin' " to Tilly, Abigail, and Sadie, who were all sipping their hot cups of coffee, their faces bright for the first time since they got a new camp. In fact, he never really saw Sadie happy until just now.

"Morning Arthur." Abigail said with a smile, sipping her coffee.

"Morning Abigail. You always did like a nice cup of coffee." Arthur commented as he poured himself a cup, sipping on it quickly as he stood up.

"Nothin' like it." Abigail replied, taking a sip herself.

After a moment of silence and quiet sipping, Tilly had cleared her throat to speak.

"So Arthur, what's your secret to being so happy? I ain't ever seen someone smile as much as you do." She had asked, smile ever present on her face as she spoke.

"Ah, just pickin' herbs and makin' miracles, that's all." Arthur said, half-joking but at the same time it wasn't completely false. He had plenty of people come up to him saying that his stuff really worked and saved their lives. Huh, maybe he could become a doctor.

"That's all? You are one mysterious man Arthur Morgan." Sadie said with a chuckle, setting her cup down. "Well folks, I hate to be the first to leave but Dutch needs me on a mission. See y'all later!" She said, patting Arthur's shoulder as she walked away, waving goodbye.

"You know I watched that woman take down an entire flock of raiders without getting a scratch on her?" Arthur said, looking back to Abigail and Tilly, who were giggling softly at Arthur's remark.

"Yeah, she's definitely a brute, but she's smart too. I can't tell you how many times I've seen her threaten Pearson." Abigail piped in, causing all three of them to laugh once more.

These were the times that Arthur truly cherished, the times he wanted to hold onto and never let go. Unfortunately, the world doesn't work like that.

After a few moments of casually talking about their lives and what was happening, Arthur had decided he really needed to go somewhere to rest his weary bones and have a good nights sleep.

Saint-Denis really seemed like the only viable option, he wasn't wanted there, and maybe he could sell some of his "magic serum" there, and make a lot of money too. After explaining to the girls what he was going to do, they had already filled in some requests for him. He was very close with the women in camp, so he was sure he was going to get them all something along with Jack.

Packing up some things and changing his outfit, Arthur said goodbye to everyone in camp and headed off, taking only a rifle and his cattleman revolver since he didn't plan on killing anyone this time around.

Not even an hour into riding to Saint-Denis was he stopped at a bridge, by none other than the Lemoyne Raiders, who were armed with a small militia, and Arthur only had his two flimsy guns.

"Well lookie here, its that Van Der Linde boy, all alone with nothing to protect himself." One of the raiders said with a smirk, hopping down off of his horse to walk up to Arthur's, whistling with furrowed eyebrows as he checked the contents of his bag.

"Damn, it looks like he's carrying enough meds to heal the army! Haha, we'll be taking your trusty steed from you, but don't worry- we don't kill horses. Just men." The raider said, cocking his gun, ready to shoot Arthur if needed.

"Goddamn you monsters! You ain't taking jack shit!" Arthur cursed, his breath hitching as a gun was placed under his chin.

"Watch your mouth or I'll blow it to shreds." The raider said, causing Arthur to nod slightly as a man came over and took his horse away, walking it out of view.

"Well then, i think we're done here." The raider had said, smirk still present as he pulled the gun away and put it back in the holster.

Within the blink of an eye, Arthur had pulled his revolver up, firing five different shots, each killing a raider, including the one that was just threatening him, so only three remained.

"Holy shit! He killed Danny! Take his horse and run!" One of the raiders said, and before Arthur could reload his revolver a few separate shots were fired at him, one hitting him in the leg, causing him to scream out in pain and fall to the ground, hyperventilating as pain shot throughout his entire body.

"Goddammit! Why do I ever decide to leave camp?!?!" He cursed, shakily taking a bottle of his cure out of his satchel, dumping half of it on his wound, and downing the rest in hopes it would at least dull the pain.

Gasping, Arthur sat up and pulled himself out of the main trail, his wounded leg completely limp.

"well... Nothing to do now except wait for some poor soul to come by." He grumbled, propping his hand on his knee and resting his head.

".... Goddamn raiders...."

((So this legit happened to my poor Arthur right after i left camp drinking coffee with Tilly and the gals. Some godamn raiders stopped me at a bridge and they nearly got me, then i shot the guy robbing me and threw a stick of dynamite at them, and low and behold in the shootout they killed my horse. I killed them all, but i was rlly low on health and didn't have jack shit to cure it but this potent health cure which didn't even replenish my cores just upped them for a bit... Lmao so then i just sat there and waited for someone to pass by while slowly walking [my stamina was out to. Worst goddamn luck] and eventually after 30 minutes some guy passed by and i called him out then stole his horse and rode all the way to Saint-Denis, sold it, bought a new horse, and stocked up on supplies. You're welcome 😂😂😂))

[local-anon]

OC introduction

Will Barrett (rdr2)

Full Name: Will Barrett

Race: White

Class: Outlaw/ broke

Sexuality: Pan (but doesn't know it bc its the 1800s)

Age: 26

Physical Description

Gender: Male

Hair: Short, light brown

Height: 6’

Build: thicc but swole

Eyes: Hazel (depends on the day)

Scars: Scar round half his neck from nightfolk. Various gunshot grazes. once got stabbed in the hand during a drunken five finger fillet bet

Tattoos: Stick and poke sleeve on left arm.

Personality

Summary of their backstory.

An against the world attitude ever since he ran away from his parents' farm (too many kids they didn’t even notice) Worlds been throwing shit at him ever since. gains overconfidence because he somehow hasn't died yet 

“My best skill is surviving because I haven’t died yet so clearly I’m immortal” Takes it upon himself to make everyone smile once in his presence even if they respond by hardcore insulting him.

Do they have any mental illnesses?

Ptsd definitely. prolly adhd bc he forgets shit like a mother fucker, will start 15 chores and not finish any of them.

“Shit probably but who cares about that when people are shooting at you lmao”

How do they cope?

He doesn’t. To the frustration of himself and the rest of camp

Do they have any medical conditions?

“I have this thing where my neck scar will suddenly start burning to the point of my legs collapsing but that’s probably nothing”

Is medicine/ treatment available for them?

Honestly it’s probably psychosomatic and in 1899 he isn't going to bother with it.

How much do they care about their outer appearance?

11/10 He will bathe twice a week and is always doing laundry. miss Grimshaw appreciates him the most because he washes clothes the best.

What’s their “beauty routine”?

Beard is in perfect condition, has added pomade and stimulant to make sure of it. Makes his own soap.

What do they fear the most?

Spiders, it's a hindrance when it comes to checking out caves and abandoned places.

Their biggest flaw?

“My existence?” His self-esteem, not knowing when to shut up.

Do they recognize it as a flaw?

He recognizes his entire being as a flaw so idk

What’s their zodiac sign or which one do you think they relate to the most?

Doesn't know his birthday exactly but I predict he’s a Libra Scorpio cusp with cancer rising and Leo moon. he has a Leo venus. Sagittarius Mars

What Harry Potter house would they be in?

“I’m a Gryffindor” he's a Hufflepuff

What natural alignment are they? (ex. Lawful Good, Chaotic Evil)

Neutral good. He really just wants to live good and let people live good.

Do they have any hobbies? What are they?

He loves gardening and is crushed every time the camp moves because he has to start all over again.

Do they have a favorite holiday? How do they celebrate it?

He once visited new york in the summer and saw fireworks on the 4th or july he was in love. It's his favorite holiday but he will light off fireworks whenever he gets his hands on them. “That's why I loved that mayors party”

What’s their favorite season?

Spring, seed sowing season lol

Do they have a temper or are they level headed?

He is mostly level headed unless you completely got him fucked up (insult his partner, his family, THREATEN his family?) he will shoot you after telling you all the ways you fucked up

Do they express their emotions freely or hide their true feelings?

Both?? He hides behind half truths most of the time. But very blunt if he doesnt like you.

Are they a leader or a follower?

He’s a good team player but not necessarily a follower. Will question you if you give weird not good orders (dutch almost dropped him twice)

How do they come off to others?

Blunt and overconfident, charming in his way that even if you’re mad you won't be for long.

What first impression do they usually make?

You either want to punch him or hug him.

Do they prefer to travel alone or with company?

He likes traveling with people he trusts, and he prefers it to being alone. He will banter with himself if left alone for too long. (Camp has gotten concerned for his mental status a few times)

Would you describe them as selfless or selfish?

He cares more about his family than he does about himself. But would steal candy from a kid bc he wants it.

What do they find most attractive in others?

He just really loves peoples personalities and if ur nice and treat him and his family well he will find you attractive (also he rlly likes muscles on people)

Do they flirt often?

Yes, aggressively, too much, in a dumb way

Do they fall in love easily?

“No” Yes

What’s their love life like?

“Amazing” Awful, at least it was until he joined the gang

Do they prefer to solve things diplomatically or using violence?

It really depends on the situation, he wants the least amount of innocent casualties. keyword innocent

What is their combat style?

“I have a shotgun for sticky situations, but my favorite are these metal knuckles i got from an old blacksmith friend, theyre bladed”

Do they sneak?

When the situation calls for it

What weapon(s) do they always carry with them?

Sawed off shotgun, Sighted rifles, bow & arrow (Charles made him one after a week of pestering)

Their most prized possession?

An old native American ring he was given after this old white drunk dude after sobbing about all the atrocities he's seen and passing out after handing him the ring saying he can't stand the weight anymore. Will dragged his passed out person into his tent and saved the ring as a reminder to try to help out everyone when he can

Favorite armor/ outfit?

Redshirt, black paisley vest, duster jacket over top.

How’s their aim?

“Its the fuckin best” It’s alright, not perfect all the time but still pretty good

Do their hands shake while aiming a bow?

It used to but Charles taught him how to keep steady

Their thoughts on killing to survive?

He does it because he has to but he’d really like it if people would just stop shooting at them

Does it take a toll on them?

Only when they were innocent and were just caught in the crossfire

Or do they shake it off rather easily?

“Fuck O’Driscolls

Thoughts on death if any? (ex. Fear it, accept it)

Is only afraid he’ll die in a stupid way

Do they scavenge for their supplies or simply buy them?

He’s good at looting houses and won't let things go to waste. Once stole an entire houses blankets because the girls were complaining about the chill drafting into their tents

Are they the type to get distracted and go off to an unknown nearby location or do they stay on track?

Ohhhh myyy goddddd. He was once riding from Valentine to Rhodes and stopped at every single herb he saw, even in the distance and was late bu a few hours than he meant to be back to camp.

How do they sleep?

“What is sleep?” He doesn’t, has to be dragged to bed or will pass out on his horse.

Are they picky about where and how or can they sleep basically anywhere?

Yes, he can’t sleep on the bare ground.

Are they a picky eater?

Not really just needs seasoning

Do they know how to cook?

Surprisingly yes, he taught Pearson how to use the sun to bake.

What’s their favorite beverage?

Rum, it gets him fucked up fast and tastes sweet.

Do they drink alcohol?

Yes

Anything they like to collect? (ex. Unique weapons)

He collects pressed flowers after Mary-Beth taught him how to do it. Arthur bought him a penny dreadful just for the purpose of pressing flowers because he got tired of Will sneaking off with his journal to do it.

Are they good at disarming traps or do they constantly miss them?

He nearly lost a leg to a bear trap.

[crazymarvelsuperfamily]

Stole his Heart

another super fluffy iron dad fanfic! POV Rhodey, so a little different. Please leave any comments/feedback/suggestions - just really wanna get my writing a lil better :)

Tony and his adopted son had promised to turn up to a charity evening event, but as usual, Rhodey has to come and drag them out of the lab.

word count: 2057

general audiences

The AC/DC music was blasting from below. Rhodey could feel the floor shaking from the instant he arrived at the compound. He rolled his eyes; the boys were down in the lab again messing around. He guessed they completely forgot about the charity evening Tony promised they’d attend. Although this would never surprise him, he always hoped for the day when Tony would turn up to an event on time and leave that damn workshop for just a couple of hours. A few years back, he would have been worried about Tony, knowing that he was spending too long down in his lab; but now, it brought a smile to his face. He knew his friend wasn’t alone down there anymore, drinking himself to death in a hole of reckless self-pity.

 Now he had Peter with him, Tony was a changed man. He still spent days at a time down in the workshop, but instead, he spent it with Peter. Hours would pass by with the pair tinkering away at some science project, or working on equations, or even just doing math homework. Peter was the best thing that could have happened to Tony, and he came into his life at just the right time. The boy crept into the frozen heart the man had forgotten was there and thawed it completely. Rhodey might even go as far as to say Tony was getting soft. He was there for the kid whenever he needed, he picked the boy up from school, helped him with his homework, even cooked the occasional meal. The man had finally remembered how to love someone properly and had devoted his life to caring for his adopted son. More importantly, he realised how much Peter needed him in his life and started to live up to his responsibilities: he actually slept at least a couple of hours each night, he started to eat in a fairly healthy manner, and he had finally quit the destructive binge drinking. Rhodey was proud of his Tony. And he hadn’t been proud of his best friend in a long time.

  The music grew louder as he walked down the spiral staircase to the lab. How on earth can anyone sane work with this racket? He thought as noise from the speakers was literally close to defening before he remembered: Tony most definitely was not sane… and neither was the kid that runs around Queens in spandex for that matter. He punched in the code for the lab and the glass doors slid open. He almost double took when he first saw the duo in the lab with their backs to him. Both of them were wearing oily stained jeans and t-shirts. Tony was bare-foot while the kid wore ironman bed socks, each with a pencil behind their ear and Peter had a spanner in hand as a microphone. They were jamming out as they worked; Tony working his hips as he fiddled with the engine of a car, and Peter theatrically handing parts and equipment when prompted. At the back, one of the ironman suits was playing the air guitar. Oh man would the others pay to see this! Rhodey stifled a laugh as he got out his phone and videoed the pair for a few seconds.

“Hey FRIDAY, turn down the music please”

“apologies Colonel Rhodes, but I cannot hear you above the noise.”

“THEN TURN IT DOWN!!” screamed Rhodey. Suddenly the music dropped to a much more reasonable level. “thanks.” He replied to the AI, instantly more composed.

“Aww Underoos, Uncle Rhodey has come to spoil the fun.” Tony joked as he and peter turned simultaneously and pouted.

“You two have grown so similar it’s frightening.” Rhodey grinned at Peter. “I really wouldn’t plan on taking after Tony much more – if you’re not careful you might develop his ego, then your head would be too big to fit into your funky spandex outfit.”

“Dude, I’ve already said – they’re nanoparticles not spandex!” Peter pouted harder, slightly embarrassed by the comment. Rhodey shoved the kid playfully before fluffing up his soft brown curls.

“I know kid, I’m only messing. Tony, d’ya mind telling me what time it is?”

“Ugh, like 8?” Tony scratched his head. He knew he was probably meant to be ready for some party he promised to show his face at.

“Yeah, and what time did you say you’d be ready for Happy to take us all to the charity gala ball?”

“balls” Peter mumbled under his breath. He knew Tony never bothered about being punctual for events, but Peter was always a bit nervous and preferred to arrive on time. Normally, he would be the one to tell Tony to get ready, but he had been so completely absorbed into the lab work this evening, he had completely forgotten.

“Yeah kid. The ball. Well, the correct answer was 7:30. Now, you guys, shower quickly, meaning no more singing. And into your suits please. I’ve taken the liberty to lay out a tux for each of you in your rooms.

“well, aren’t you a saint.” Tony sighed, putting down the blowtorch he was holding and sauntering off to the elevator.

“FRIDAY, get Dunce over there to clean up this mess please. And Underoos, get a move on, Uncle Rhodey is worried that if we don’t get to wherever we’re meant to be by midnight we will all turn into pumpkins again.”

“Coming Tony, but when have we turned into pumpkins before?” The kid jogged to catch up with Tony, approaching the elevator. Rhodey smiled to himself, seeing how the kid looked up to Tony. He really was the boy’s hero.

  “Awwwwww! Look at you Underoos, don’t you brush up well.” About 15 minutes later Rhodey was dragging everyone to the car where Happy had been waiting impatiently for almost an hour. Tony pinched Peter’s cheeks, which were glowing bright red in embarrassment.

“Tony! Stop!” Peter laughed as his almost tamed hair was getting fluffed up again. “I just brushed that. It’s always so curly, and you messing it up all the time is not helping its cause!”

“I know kid, but I like the curls – they’re cute!”

The car journey lasted about half an hour. Rhodey passed Tony a few note cards with a hastily written speech scrawled on them. “Hey, please try and follow them for once – you really don’t need to do anything but thank the charity heads for their work and give a brief life update for the media.”

Tony nodded tucking the cards into his jacket, making a mental note to chuck them at the first bin he came across. “Yeah, yeah Rhodey, I know the deal – have been dealing with this all my life and stuff…”

“you still never follow the cards…” Rhodey shook his head, knowing he was trying to fight a battle that had been lost long ago.

“Oh, and kid, you know the deal – don���t leave the venue, no drinking, no smoking or drugs, and please leave this party as a virgin.” Tony laughed as Peter’s eyes widened and he flushed crimson.

“um… Tony, I wouldn’t… do…” Peter shifted uncomfortably.

“I know Underoos, its just funny watching you being embarrassed. I’m just messin’. Though saying that, I am dead serious – you will be in trouble if you do any of the above.”

 They eventually pulled up at a large building, where the party was obviously taking place. People in their evening attire were scattered around the outside, taking in the beauty of the gardens at dusk. Through the huge windows and open doors, Rhodey could see there were probably thousands of people gathered for the gala evening. He glanced over at the kid and felt bad for him: he wasn’t a fan of these kinds of events – he always found himself much too socially awkward and going everywhere with Tony Stark always drew a lot of unwanted attention. The evening air was muggy, and Peter looked awkward and panicked as he stepped out of the car. Tony put his hands on the boy’s shoulders from behind and steered him towards the door.

 It was only a matter of seconds before the press swarmed them, pointing microphones into their faces, bombarding them with questions. This had happened to Peter on several occasions before – some as Spiderman and some just as Peter when he was with Tony, but he still wasn’t used to it. Even Rhodey’s head was spinning wildly as he tried to compute all the voices interrogating him, he had no idea what hell the kid had to be going through. He heard the endless clicking of cameras, as all the papers and magazines tried desperately to snap a photo of the world’s most famous engineer and the boy he mysteriously adopted. Tony stepped in front of the boy, shielding him from the journalists and speeding up, trying to lead Peter inside as fast as possible. Rhodey followed behind, repeating over and over that none of the group wanted to answer questions regarding either personal or professional life and would they please be courteous and respect privacy. They reached the entrance, where the professional TV crews were covering the evening. They all forced smiles and waved briefly as they quickly disappeared into the building.

 Within five minutes of arriving at the party, Tony disappeared off into the amass of people and Rhodey guessed they wouldn’t really see him for the rest of the evening. Rhodey knew that although he had matured a lot in recent years, Tony still partied hard, and it was best to keep Peter away from a partying Tony. So, Peter spent most of the evening with Rhodey. Despite his usual rocky start, for once the kid seemed to be enjoying himself a lot more. Rhodey guess the kid felt a little more at home at an event celebrating a generous donation to a physics society – friendlier people, and lots of scientists and mathematicians. He introduced himself to the important faces of the charity and spoke briefly with Rhodey’s friends regarding some of his recent works with Tony in the lab. Without giving any key details away, he outlined how they were working to further increase the power of the arc reactor and how its purposes can be used in a wider range of things as the building cost is ever decreasing. Actually, the kid isn’t half bad at the party scene – Tony was never this good at small talk. A few journalists were dotted around the hall, but Peter generally managed to avoid them. He eventually snuck off to hang around the buffet table, planning to just eat his way through the evening. At one point, someone gave Peter a pint of cider, he had barely started to sip it before Tony swept in and removed it from his hands. Rhodey couldn’t help but laugh, seeing Tony for the first time that evening, the second Peter gets his hands on some alcohol.

“what did I say about drinking?”

“I haven’t seen you in more than two hours! How on earth do you swoop in like that the second I start to break a rule?”

“I have my secrets…” Tony slurred, evidently drunk.

“If you put FRIDAY into my watch I swear to God”

“language… you’re getting pretty fucking close… wait shit!” yup, Tony was pissed.

“Hey Tony, I really think you’re the one that should lay off the booze a little?” Peter reasoned, ever looking like a lost puppy.

“Not a chance kiddo…” Tony shook his head, then suddenly in a much soberer fashion, “You ready to go home kid? I think it’s probably about time – you’re looking a little peaky.” He cupped the boy’s cheek as Peter nodded. “M’kay, Imma get Happy to take you back to the Tower. I’ll be home before 3… or maybe 5… I dunno, at some point before your breakfast… I love you kid”

“Love you too Tony, see you in the morning.” Peter whispered as Tony pulled him into a close hug.

 Tony had never said “I love you” before to Peter, or to anyone before really, for that matter. And maybe Peter had brushed it off, recognising Tony was drunk, but Rhodey watched the two, and he knew that Tony really meant what he said. Peter had crept right in and stolen his heart.

[lovelyirony]

fic title: I’m falling and the sun is blinding me to your faults

i wanted to do an au of this one, so presenting: tony and rhodey, but make it villainous. i think it’d be fun! 

James Rhodes is two things, first and foremost being that he is a businessman. 

People call him a villain. He doesn’t really think he’s that villainous. 

After all, he only took over New York. He left all the other states alone, so that has to mean something. He was gracious! 

He also wouldn’t consider himself a villain because everyone who works under him gets health insurance. They don’t complain that much, although he’s gotten some about the quality of the buffet on Fridays. 

Catering companies. Hit-or-miss, you know? 

There have been a couple of companies who try to stop him. Rivals that hate that his products are better and employees are happier, for one. Those are easy to dismiss. 

SHIELD is one company who tries, and fails. Repeatedly. It would be embarrassing, but Rhodes has respect for Agents Romanov and Hill, who have been the closest to breaking into his personal office. 

- 

The player that isn’t registering on the field is Tony Stark. Perhaps because he isn’t so much of a player on the field as an existing person who just happens to be on a field. Or a building. However you would like to imagine it. 

In other universes, he walks like he owns the world because he could buy up everything and still have money left over to get ice cream at the end of the day. 

In this universe, his father kicked him out of his house for various things, the most prominent being that Tony is rather partial to kissing guys and ladies, and that just simply won’t do. 

(Tony also stole enough money out of his bank account to buy a house and also start his own business without his knowledge, but in the grand scheme of things, that’s just a small drop in the ocean.) 

Tony made his own tech start-up business. He’s invented a few new things that hit the market discreetly, and he’s building up more and more clientele. He’s about to open another shop, and in all honesty he’s not worried about getting noticed. 

This is until Rhodes comes across an employee bragging about a new repair guy who makes computers run twice as fast, charges less than most repair shops, and looks mighty fine in a tank top.

The last reason is reason enough to visit. 

But also, to see who’s been fixing up Rhodes tech and can make it faster. He doesn’t know why he wouldn’t have just applied for a job. 

Tony is not expecting Rhodes to enter into his building. He has people who are walk-ins, but usually you would expect a villain to make an appointment. Or not, they are villains. 

“I heard that you’ve been improving my phones,” James says. He leans into Tony’s space. He smells quite nice, has a well-tailored suit, and Tony is trying very hard not to find him attractive. That’s not the sort of thing you could be focusing on. 

“You gonna sue me or something?” 

“No, I want to hire you.” 

Tony blinks. 

“Oh. No thank you.” 

Rhodes pulls back. 

“Why ‘no’?” 

“I like my shop just fine. And you have things well-handled.” 

“Could I consult you?” 

“You can’t afford me.” 

Rhodes grins. 

“Are you sure about that?” 

“Of course I am. Can I get anything for you today, or did you just want to beg me to come work for you?” 

“Most people would never be this bold.” 

"What would they be? Terrified in your presence?” 

“More or less, yes. It’s what I prefer.” 

"I don’t cater to people’s preferences, it’s a character flaw and strength,” Tony quips. 

Rhodes smiles. 

It’s terrifyingly beautiful, really. Tony is at a loss for words. 

“I think I’m liking you, Stark.” 

“Tony. You don’t call me Stark. I don’t do the last name dynamic.” 

“Sweetheart, then. Not your last name.” 

“Pet names, seriously?” 

“Oh you got it, honey.” 

“Then go on, platypus,” Tony throws back. 

“Platypus? Really?” 

"Pet names are on the menu, honey bunch. Just try me.” 

Rhodes smiles, turning to exit. 

“I’ll be in touch, darling.” 

Tony leans against his desk, legs shaking underneath. 

There are two problems that he’s not sure how to solve. Here they are: 

1.) Rhodes now has Tony on his radar, which is probably bad because Tony will absolutely be used for world domination or whatever. 

2.) Tony doesn’t really mind as long as he gets to see Rhodes because goddamn. That man could get so many things, and he probably has. And Tony wouldn’t mind being one of those things if he played his cards right. 

But for now, Tony just wants to fix computers and maybe just buy a new brand of tea, but he’s honestly not sure. 

- 

Rhodes makes an appointment to meet. 

Of Fucking Course. 

Tony is not impressed, and is also not impressed that he comes in with a very expensive custom-made designer suit, whereas Tony is not sure the last time his pair of jeans got washed, and an old t-shirt that’s advertising an ice cream shop that is closed now. 

“You love to make an entrance all the time?” Tony asks. “What can I legally do for you?” 

“You’re assuming I’m making you do illegal things, babe?” 

“Yes, Rhodey.” 

“It’s Rhodes.” 

“Hm, maybe. But not to me. Rhodey. I wanna ruin your business impression.” 

Pepper snorts besides Rhodes, who is suitably impressed that Tony doesn’t give one flying fuck about the fact that he could destroy him at any point. 

“I’m ordering that on your next business card deal.” 

“I’ll fire you.” 

“You can’t find someone as competent as me, don’t even joke.” 

“I came here for an opportunity for you. You’ve managed to get some people’s computers to speed up so much. And I want you to do it with all of my employee’s computers.” 

“What, you couldn’t reverse-engineer it? See what I did for yourself?” 

Rhodey grins. 

“I never question a handsome man’s work, darling.” 

Tony turns red. 

“You’re really bad with professionalism, honeysop.” 

“What the hell is that?” 

“What, never heard about romance in the fifteenth century? Boring.” 

“Will you do the job or not?” 

“What are the terms, the conditions, and how much are you paying?” 

Pepper steps forward, a sizable stack of paperwork in her hands. 

The work would pay off the building. It would pay off his mortgage on his house. Hell, it would help a lot. He’d have extra to mess around and maybe go on a vacation. 

The downside is that he’s helping a villain get faster speed and better battery life with laptops. This could also mean he’d die, but honestly he was kind of expecting an early death. 

Rhodey assures him that he won’t die. 

“If anyone touches you, then they feel my wrath,” he says. His teeth glint underneath the lights. “And honey, no one ever likes feeling that.” 

“What, it isn’t all feather-light tickles?” 

“Touches a bit more than that.” 

There’s an unspoken story there. Rhodey’s grin goes from tight and eyes empty to refocusing on Tony and turning soft, genuine. 

“We can discuss the official plans over dinner.” 

“Dinner won’t work for me, I got plans tonight.” 

“A hot date?” 

"A special movie screening,” Tony says. “Can’t miss it. Maybe next time, or the next three times.” 

Rhodey smiles. 

“Maybe sometime.” 

“Maybe.” 

- 

Holy fuck.

Rhodes International has a local coffee shop on the lobby. A barista is a cheerful girl who has neon yellow hair greets him and asks if he wants a complimentary drink. 

“You...know who I am?” 

“Not in the slightest!” she says cheerily. “I have a memory thing where I remember everyone I ever meet and who I don’t meet. What kind of coffee guy are you?” 

“Um...you guys have mint syrup?” 

“Yup!” 

“Then I guess a peppermint latte?” 

“Coming right up!” 

So here is this girl humming what sounds suspiciously like the Winnie the Pooh song as she makes a drink, and that drink is amazing. 

Also, people are wearing, it seems, whatever outfit they want. There are some people talking, and two look to be dressed in professional business clothing, but the third guy they’re talking to is wearing ripped jeans and a tank top has the phrase of “I’m Just Existing on a Manifestation of Reality” emblazoned. 

It’s odd. 

“So glad you could make it, Tones,” Rhodey says. 

“Tones?” 

“What, too much?” 

“Tones sounds like you know me.” 

“And I don’t?” 

“What’s my favorite jam?” 

“Why jam?” 

“If you know someone well, you know their favorite type of jam.” 

“Orange marmalade?” 

“What the fuck do I look like, Paddington?” 

“You’re right, Paddington’s not near as sexy.” 

“This counts as harassment, right? This counts as harassment.” 

“Don’t have him sue us already, he’ll win,” Pepper says, breezing to their sides. God, she’s gorgeous. Casually dressed in a pencil skirt and a blouse and acting like she doesn’t look like a goddess. Must be exhausting. “Tony, great to have you. Let me show you who you’re working with.” 

He has his own fancy office, a team that knows what they’re doing, and catered lunch. 

Catered lunch. It’s not even a Friday. 

“Friday’s are questionable,” Rhodey says. “Weird selection.” 

“You don’t wanna know,” says Intern Joe. 

That’s literally on his ID card. 

- 

Tony starts work. It’s not bad, not at all. He works in the mornings on the weekends and Mondays as well as Thursdays, and then sometimes does work from his own office. 

Rhodey is...nice. 

This is a bit unsettling, because Rhodey literally just threatened the president over an environmental bill not being accepted and currently all employees are only slightly scared. 

“This is just like three months ago,” says Janice The Badass. (Also on her ID card.) “Don’t worry, the government can’t do anything. They rely on us too heavily.” 

“For what?” 

“For safety.” 

“Not asking.” 

“Good, I’m not going to answer.” 

“Okay?” 

- 

It’s also weird that Rhodey checks in on him. He brings him coffee how he likes it, and he makes him sit down and try new foods with him. 

He’s not bad at conversational topics either. Tony’s used to talking, and he’s used to bad-talking on dates. This doesn’t come close. 

No, they talk about the differences of Star Trek and how much Tony hates specific brands of pens, and how Rhodey is a disaster when it comes to coordination of ties. 

“I don’t like ties,” he scowls. 

“Then why wear one?” 

“Pepper says they look nice.” 

“Why do you need to look nice?” 

“Most things are all about presentation.” 

“Ah, need to be taken seriously.” 

“Only at times when I’m facing government officials or weird corporate bosses.” 

“Aren’t you a corporate boss?” 

“I’m a corporate boss who is also an enemy of fellow corporate bosses. Weird thing.” 

“That’s...intriguing.” 

“How so?” 

“Well, how does that work?” Tony asks, popping a couple blueberries into his mouth. “How are you both the same and an enemy?” 

“Watch and learn, sugar. Watch and learn.” 

Tony is allowed on the next business meeting. Which, coincidentally, his old Uncle Obadiah is part of. 

This leads to rather undesired complications. 

-

“You’re working for a supervillain?” Obie practically yells. 

“Well, it’s a bit more complicated than that,” Tony says. “I just work with computers.” 

“Besides if he wanted to work for a real supervillain, wouldn’t he be working for you?” Rhodey asks. 

He’s sitting in one of those rolling-chairs, and despite that, he made it his throne. He’s relaxed in it, perfectly at peace with the situation. All eyes are on him. 

“I’m not the one that the government is after.” 

“And yet I’m the one who’s successfully paid taxes. Where have yours gone, hm? Strip club in Vegas? Weapon sales in Afghanistan?” 

Obie freezes. 

Tony knows that when you freeze, it is your worst tell. 

“Does dad know?” 

This time, Rhodey turns towards him. He’s surprised. 

“We’ll discuss that later. But does Howard know, Obadiah?” 

“Howard is none of your concern.” 

“Oh my god, he is,” Rhodey says grinning. “You haven’t told him about your little back-door escapades. I wonder what would happen if I told him.” 

“You don’t want me as an enemy,” Obadiah says, shaking. He looks at Tony. “And you, boy, you just earned yourself a death sentence.” 

“Funny, Howard said the same thing when he kicked me out of the house,” Tony says as he’s checking his nails. Rhodey thinks he is in love. 

“Go ahead and try to get me as an enemy, see how well it works for you,” Rhodey says, pearly whites on display. “I took over the entire state of New York, leaving everyone in power allied with me. Plus, Tony hasn’t pushed his legacy from what I’ve seen, but what would happen if I just...let him talk? At the next press conference, perhaps.” 

Tony grins, and it’s dangerous. 

“Yeah Obie, what if I talked? I’m sure Howard’s disastrous attempt at fatherhood would be a real uptick in stock points.” 

“You wouldn’t.” 

“Just watch. Just fucking watch,” Tony says. “I still know how to smile for the press, and I still remember all of my lessons for how to make sure anything is believable.” 

He shakes. 

Rhodey gets security. 

Tony visibly relaxes as Stane is led out of the building, and Rhodey smiles over at him. 

“What?” 

“You wanna grab dinner with me?” 

“Like as a casual dinner, or a date-dinner?” 

“How about both?” 

“Thank god, I can’t remember where my nice shoes are.” 

- 

Tony supposes it is odd to be out to dinner with one of the most-feared men in all of New York. 

But it was hard to fear him when he was currently trying to lick ice cream off the tip of his nose with no such luck. 

Or when Rhodey kisses him senseless on his doorstep and makes fun of the little gnome that he’s put outside, and Tony giggles and watches him leave in his fancy car, still leaning on his door. 

Oh, he’s got it bad. 

But he doesn’t mind. 

[idealisticrealism]

Blindspot 3x03 recap

(Aka the Patterson and Rich show lol)

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I LOVED this episode. Cute Jeller, supportive team, and of course, PATTERSON AND RICH BEING KICKASS BESTIES. Can the whole season be just like this ep bc good lord it is totally up there with my fave eps of this show ever and ugh I just loved it so much guys

Which in a way is kind of a bad thing because it means this review is gonna take me like 6 hours on account of all the screaming, but ah well. Worth it. 

And to the lovely Anon-- I may very possibly struggle to do these from now on due to my travelling, but I’ll try my best to keep them happening if I can. Thankfully none of the other people in my hostel dorm here in Madrid have minded my hectic late-night typing for the last couple of hours lol...

Anyhow, more gushing below the cut.

Ugh look at this. Our babies are dressed all fancy and having drinks and it’s kinda reminiscent of 1x09 except this time instead of just alluding to their interest in each other, Weller is BLATANTLY HITTING ON JANE, his WIFE, who he is MARRIED TO, and ugh it’s simultaneously delightful and almost nauseating haha. Zapata and Reade definitely agree with the nauseating part, because they’re stuck in the surveillance van being forced to listen to every word. Oh, kids. As the child of two people that love to make jokes about their sex life just to gross me out, I totally understand your pain right now. Lbr tho they probably kind of missed this. And lol I love that Jane giggles and apologises while shooting heart-eyes at Weller. You two are the worst. I actually didn’t expect this scene so early but I’m totally into it. And so Jeller keep an eye on the suspect and his daughter/wife, while Tasha works her hacking skills and hacks his computer. Also awww her cousin asked for Patterson’s autograph, that is so cute and I now love her cousin. I love that Patterson is now super rich and kinda a celeb lol. Hahaha I love that Jane delays the guy by telling him she loves his charity work and then literally like 10 secs later the team is into his files and Weller is arresting him. That would have had to feel kinda like an abrupt turnabout lol

Aww Zapata is checking in on Patterson and making sure she’s okay D: I love these ladies supporting each other. But in what sounds like depressing deja vu of both of the previous seasons, Patterson insists she’s fine to be there. Also her puzzle solving skills clearly haven’t suffered-- she figured out that random specks on Jane’s back could be translated onto a grid and brought together to form words? Dude. Tbh I like that the show gives us a brief explanation of how things were cracked without putting any pressure on us viewers-- we get to just smile and nod and be like ‘yep, sounds legit’ and then move on haha. Now Aunty Hirst has rocked up to hear the deets, considering their suspect is a big fish. And basically there’s some evidence that he caused a train to derail which was previously called in as an anonymous tip, and which made him super rich due to something to do with stocks. Can you tell I have very little understanding of the stock market lol, which tbh is kinda unfortunate considering my father keeps wanting me to invest haha.

Oooh Patterson goes to Reade bc she’s been investigating Stuart’s murder on her own despite there already being a team on it, and she tells him that Stuart had a Siri/google home/Alexa equivalent thing and that she thinks the thing recorded his murder, since they’re sneakily recording everything. Makes you worry about Siri and Alexa, doesn’t it… Anyway she wants Reade to go demand the recording from the company before it’s deleted within 72hrs. Go Reade go! Meanwhile Patterson goes to talk to their suspect’s lawyer, and walks in to find her playing Wizardville. I love that she knows exactly which part she’s at just by hearing the sound effects. Ugh you giant nerd I love you so much. When Jeller show up a minute later (maybe held up in the locker room because of… activities…) lawyer lady insists that the emails are planted by a hacker group who is targeting her client. Lol “Mr Lowie can afford better specialists than the FBI has. No offense”/”Offense taken”. Damn right, Patterson, none of those specialists could hold a candle to you. But uh oh, the lawyer mentioned the hacker group-- the three blind mice-- and Patterson suddenly got all shifty. What do you know that you’re not telling, honey???  Also the lawyer lady is threatening them with a very large lawsuit which is bound to make all of this a little awkward….

RIIIICHHH. God I will never get over the delight of seeing him appear in an episode. Patterson visits him in his office, which is literally just a room for cleaning supplies, and she turns on a radio jammer which has him spitting coffee (if that is coffee) out of his ‘best daddy ever’ mug. So either he stole the mug from Weller or someone, or it’s alluding to a weird sex thing. You never know with Rich. (Yes you do; it’s usually the weird sex thing). Ugh and when she demands to know if he hacked into the suspect’s server he’s all “What?? No?? Who??” and god I just love his FACE. Ennis how do you do this??? God. And then ugh he promises her he’s not lying and ugh I believe it. And then she tells him the tatt points to the 3BM and that the FBI are gonna try to track them down and ugh you can see the ‘oh shit’ on his face. I just love the way these two interact, like they’re legit real friends?? Ugh my babies. I adore Jeller and all, but tbh this is my favourite duo on the show rn. And now Weller wants to see them both and they’re both like ‘oh shit’ lol. And then lol he totally ignores ‘ladies first’ and calls Weller mademoiselle and you can hear that he’s nervous and aaahhhh his joke about the 3 blind mice from the nursery rhyme and then insisting he’s a crime fighter now and I just love him so muuuchhhh and this whole time he and Patterson are both half shitting themselves and ugh I feel like he’s using his ridiculousness to keep attention on him and not Patterson bc she doesn’t like lying to her team and ughhhh they’re such broooos. And Hirst appears to tell them all that they need to catch the 3BM asap because the emails were planted and their dude might sue, and to which Rich suggests a simple ‘I was wrong’ to patch things up lollll. And then Hirst has a picture of the 3BM and Patterson and Rich are all !!!!!!!!! and then it turns out it’s a person in a mouse mask and they’re so relieved lol. Also dude after Patterson, i love Rich’s dynamic with Jane the most. She’s basically like his long-suffering mom hahaha. Back in the closet, Patterson’s freaking out and wants to come clean but he’s all ‘how about no’ lol. Also he says that they dropped out because ‘someone thought it was getting too dangerous’ and he points to her but then jabs his thumb toward himself as he’s speaking and now I’m confused?? Which one wanted to bail?? (Probably Patterson lbr). Ughhhh by the sound of it they were such little Robin Hoods, and ugh I NEED the spinoff about this whole partnership over the last 2 years ughhhhhhh. And hahaha omg “so we make it a little harder for them, if you catch my drift”/”by obstructing justice??”/”drift caught.” UGHHHHH GIVE ME THE SPINOFF. GIVE IT TO ME. I will sell my soul for this I stg.

Meanwhile awww Reade is honouring Patterson’s request and talking to a representative from the kinga company about the recordings, and when she tries to deny it he and Zapata totally roll their eyes at each other haha. These bros. And then she’s texting his gf which feels a little weird, and also she says they hung out ‘last weekend’ but uh wasn’t stuart’s murder less than 72hr ago, and so all the events of last ep including Zapata meeting the gf happened then as well (that did happen in 3x02 right?)? Maybe that was friday and this is monday and she meant to say ‘on the weekend’?  Also “You better put a ring on that before I do” LOL I love it. I’m sure it’s just a joking comment but dude could Zapata be bi? Because I would totally be down for that. I like Zapata being friends with Reade’s gf and encouraging them as a couple, since I want Reade and Zapata to remain just bros. I seriously miss Reade/Sarah though. Lbr I’m still totally bitter about that one, Gero.

Patterson found the person in the mouse mask by creating a ‘biometric map’ of the person from the video and using ‘gait recognition’?? Mmmmmkay, sure, I’ll roll with it. Nice little mention of Patterson’s NSA access, though. The woman they find has a bunch of dating profiles and works for Nerd Herd (awww a Chuck reference, I’m so happy) which makes Rich pity her, but uh dude don’t you know she was Miss United States?? And she’s besties with Sandra Bullock, so she’s doing just fine. And ugh when Rich says that they tracked her location, Jane actually praises him and ughhhh look at that parental approval he’s getting, I’m so happy for him. And then haha Hirst wants both Patterson and Rich in on the interrogation and ugh you can just see my poor Patterson getting more and more tightly wound lol can someone just give her a hug before she explodes? Preferably Rich giving her a slightly stilted but genuinely sincere hug. I want it. Nope, need it. Also looks like Jeller now have nothing on their schedule…. time for another locker room rendezvous perhaps?

Lollll their suspect has said like two lines and all I hear is Miss Rhode Island… also she looks so cute in her lil Nerd Herd outfit. I wonder if she ever met Chuck? I mean she’s based on the other side of the country, but still… what if she trained under him over in Burbank before moving to NYC? Anyhow she gushes about how famous the 3BM are and both Rich and Patterson are looking SO UNCOMFORTABLE in their own ways and I’m loving it. Also ugh Hirst’s soft southern accent is so soothing. Could she narrate audiobooks or something bc I would legit buy all of them. Although rn she’s describing bad stuff that the 3BM did and that doesn’t feel right, but then Kathy decides the jig is up and explains how each of those things was actually them helping people/semi-saving the world. Also man this actress is amazing in how she can sound simultaneously kinda deranged but also kinda sweet?? I just want to protect her and her adorable lil face haha. Lol at Rich and Patterson exchanging looks across the room the whole time she’s talking. Subtle, guys. And Rich’s face when she says that the three of them are still best friends?? Maybe he’s starting to think Patterson was right to have made them both cut ties with this wacko. But duuuude why are you so vain, you literally just let her goad you into revealing yourself as one of her former partners. But still, “Oh so by ‘pretty close’, do you mean 100% correct, or?” ughhhh I love the sass. And then  Kathy mentions people being in danger and it draws Patterson over, putting all three of the blind mice at the same table for the first time in a year.... And also ever, when you think about it. Also turns out that the wealthy guy might be planning to blow something up to earn money from stocks like he did last time or something, which prompts Patterson to admit to Rich that she has backdoor access into every phone that downloaded her app. Firstly, wow, glad that power is in the hands of one of the good guys. Secondly, that’s a huge show of trust to tell him that, knowing that he could then steal her phone or something and use the access for his own gain. Ugh these bros!! Lol I do love that he gets carried away with thoughts of Hirst’s browser history tho haha. But anyhow by hacking the lawyer’s phone she figured out where the attack was planned to happen, and aawwwww Rich immediately wants to head to tell the team and Patterson is the one holding back. Also LOL: “Hey Gary.” “His name’s Gary? I’ve been calling him Rick…” ugh how is his every line just SO GOOD? I love the thought that he talks to their coworkers as well, probably talks the ear off of anyone who happens to come near him lol. Ugh my baby just wants to be loveddddd. I love the bickering-siblings thing they’ve got going on though, and “Well now who’s obstructing justice??” ahhahaha. Seriously who do I have to bribe to get the show with just these two? And then when she suddenly decides that they need to come clean, he��s all ‘woah no no, gross’ lollll. And then he has a little lightbulb moment about how to solve their problem-- a ridiculous and very conveniently timed anonymous tip lol. Well, tbh the team never really cares HOW Patterson managed to get their intel, only that she gives them stuff they can use/excuses to go beat people up. Aww but Weller trusts his lil team and acts immediately on their intel, prepared to take the fall for it if it turns out to be a dud. He’s very martyr-ish lately, I feel-- but I guess maybe he just feels invincible now that his wifey is back in his lifey?

Turns out the ‘tip’ is legit, and Jeller find our baddies, proceeding to beat the hell out of them in true Jeller fashion. There’s also a bomb, because of course there is, and Rich makes a suggestion only to be smacked down by Patterson and is properly apologetic haha. Jane then actually takes his advice, using the sped-up clock to convince the baddie to disarm the bomb, then takes him out and shoots the guy grappling with Weller by firing through a bottle of oil or something. Nice. She really is a woman of endless talents, a fact that Weller very much benefits from, both in the field and… elsewhere haha. Also Sully’s accent has dropped at least twice in this ep already, someone must be tired lol. Anyway back at the office, Aunty Hirst drops by to tell them all how proud she is. Also I want to marry the way she says ‘Lowie’. It’s just so damn cute. She then tells everyone to go home, and Rich and Patterson have a quiet little celebratory fist-bump (which they have clearly done before AAAHHHHHHH) over the 3BM investigation appearing to be closed. God they’re the cutest.

Oh yeah, forgot about Reade and Zapata for a minute there, too distracted by the other show-stealing partnership haha. They’re putting heavy pressure on the boss lady at Kinga, and I love that she calls him ‘sir’ and that he’s so firm and authoritative with her. This seems more like a true AD of the FBI! And you know Zapata’s pretty impressed too haha.  Well done, Reade.

Loll Patterson and Rich meeting in a deserted parking lot and Rich stepping in a puddle and then both of them realising that neither of them actually sent the message that they received. Tbh I just love that each of them got a message from the other telling them to come to a random parking lot in the middle of the night and they both came?? Without question?? Ugghhhhhhh have I mentioned lately that I love them. Also what’s Rich’s sitch at the safe house? Does he have a team watching him that he had to evade to get here, or? And lol she calls him dumbwad and everything is so cute and fun and then RICH GETS SHOT IN THE CHEST. Ngl, I gasped far louder in this moment than I even knew I was capable of. There was a split second of sheer, unadulterated panic before I remembered he’s going to be returning for multiple eps throughout the season and therefore has to be okay. But good lord that one second was an awful experience. I swear to god, if they do ever kill Rich then I’m out. I will walk away from this show, Gero, don’t think I won’t! And ugh the shock and horror on Patterson’s face-- for all he drives her crazy, he’s literally one of her best friends, and she’s already lost enough people around her. And then Kathy appears and even though she assures them (and us) that they’re just beanbag rounds, it’s still freaky as hell to see her shooting them both with a shotgun at point-blank range. My poor babies… Aaaand then they wake in a Saw-esque setting and ugh he pokes her so gently to wake her and they’re so cute when they’re kidnapped. Sounds like it’s a semi-regular occurrence for Rich, whose main concern is that he doesn’t get to be kidnapped anywhere fun lol. Aw, is someone using humour to make their friend feel less scared?  “And not the good kind of dungeon” haha. And then he goes for the door and she tries to stop him but too late, he gets zapped by a shock collar and lol my poor baby. “Oh my god, she’s gonna make us play the hunger games, isn’t she??” Which tbh would be pretty interesting between these two. I’m tempted to bet on Patterson as the winner, but then again, the first time we met Rich he did shoot a guy in the chest and was going to have Jeller killed as well, so tbh I think he shouldn’t be underestimated. But ugh it’s so cute that Patterson is desperately trying to get his collar off rather than her own, and then suddenly heeeeeeeere’s Kathy! Who is holding the collar remote threateningly in one hand while sweetly offering them snacks at the same time lol. Sh figured out it was them because of Rich showing off in interrogation and Patterson saying ‘opposite, opposite’ which I did think was a bit of a weird phrase to use lol. And ahhh Patterson calls him Rich and Kathy suddenly goes into Rich DotCom fangirl mode, and tbh I feel you on that one, sister. I would react the same. But now she’s ranting about them being brainwashed by the feds (lol at Rich telling Patterson that she did just sound like weller, awwww) and that she’s ‘saving’ them haha. Then suddenly she whips out a to-do list of hack-tivities, but instead of Robin Hood stuff, it’s more Sherriff of Nottingham stuff this time. Their arguments don’t work, which means it’s hack or zap….

Weller texts Patterson about dinner; everyone’s gathered at his and Jane’s place having drinks and hanging out and ugh they’re all so cute. And Jeller are so casually touchy and he calls her ‘my love’ and I’m seriously caught between finding that corny and super cute. Maybe both. Zapata’s playing Wizardville, which apparently Jane does too, and then they realise Reade must as well and lol Zapata’s innocent little ‘Reade?’ is so CUTE. Weller’s all “You too??” and yeppp, Sully has apparently forgotten what an American accent is haha. Oh well. I love that he goes and snuggles with Jane on the couch (aaawwwww) as they watch Zapata and Reade bicker like it’s a spectator sport hahaha. I love the sassiness omg.

Meanwhile Rich is perfecting his mime-in-a-box routine as he tries to figure out any gaps in their electric prison, and tbh that’s actually pretty brave? He probably got zapped at least a few times doing that. Patterson is trying to figure out how to get word back to the team, but Rich tells her that the only way they’ll get out of this is to go along with Kathy’s plan, because he has ‘a lot of experience with psychotic women who desire him sexually’ and lol at the disgust and annoyance on Patterson’s face and her “What is your point.” Yep, those are siblings right there.

The team are still being cute when Weller gets an email from Patterson saying she’s having dinner with Rich instead, but Zapata notices that it’s signed with her first name, WHICH NONE OF THEM ACTUALLY MENTION. TELL US THE DAMN NAME, YOU JERKS. So I guess that means that Patterson sneakily sent an email when Kathy wasn’t looking? I think that’s what they’re getting at, rather than Kathy covering her tracks by sending that to Weller so he won’t be concerned when Patterson doesn’t show up for dinner. I feel like Patterson totally has the skills to pull that off right under someone’s nose...

Back in the dungeon, the dynamic duo have picked some of the less harmful hacks to start with, including revealing some politician guy as a sex fiend (no surprises there), and Kathy gushes that watching them hack is like watching Picasso paint the Mona Lisa and lolll you can see Rich’s eyes narrow and he really wants to correct her but Patterson is already telling her to let them go, but nope Kathy wants them to crash Lowie’s private jet now, and wow she really seems to have it in for this guy. Also is it even possible to remotely crash a plane? But ohhhhhh crap, Kathy’s brother died in the train crash that Lowie caused. Well, that explains that. She tried to hand them the evidence to put him away, but now she’s taking matters into her own (or the 3 Blind Mice’s) hands. And Rich kinda seems to side with her a little bit after this revelation, causing Patterson to shoot him a look of betrayal and Kathy to beam at him. Oh man I really hope this is a ploy. Ugh Patterson is basically pleading with him not to help Kathy, to stay on their team, the good guy team, and then Kathy zaps her and ugh he’s immediately on his feet but knows he can’t do anything. He has to roll with this if he’s to save either of them and ugh I love himmmmm???

The team is at the office, trying to track down their missing buddies. Again Zapata is the one to see the clue-- the IP address the email came from is in antarctica, just like Kathy’s earlier hacks. They discover Kathy got out on bail, and then that both Patterson and Rich’s cars were found in Brooklyn. I love that they all practically run for the exit. I wonder if they’re remembering the last time Patterson was kidnapped, aka the only unlikable episode of season one?? Better hurry team, go save them! And lol conveniently they find out every place she’s ever worked and one of those happens to be an old zoo, and therefore a nice private place to keep prisoners. How lucky for them….

Poor Patterson is bound and gagged and tries to cry “Rich, no!” as he successfully hacks the jet and sets it on its collision course with the ocean.  Or its fake collision course, I hope. And ugh then he and Kathy are dining together and okay why does she respond ‘kinda’ when he asks if it’s foie gras? Is she pulling a Hannibal Lecter rn??? Also I love the little red glow of the collar through his napkin lol. And then there’s a perimeter breach and Kathy is starting to freak out and so checks on the plane, only to see that it landed safely and Patterson looks at Rich in shock and HE WINKS AT HER. Look at my baby all grown up and fighting on the side of good with his lil FBI family who he lovessssss. Ughhh save me. And then omg she flips out and literally smashes the wine bottle over his head and I gasped super loud again bc do you know how hard those things are???? Ugh both Patterson and I are so worried for our bestie Rich, but meanwhile Kathy hacks the team’s car and tries to crash them?? I love their super synchronized dives out of the car lol. And then omg she literally sets everything on fire while crying over their ruined friendship hahahaha. Tbh I’d be pretty devastated if Patterson and Rich didn’t want to be friends with me too lol…. And then omgggg she is literally about to shoot Rich and Patterson tackles her, saving his life and causing herself to be electrocuted. THAT IS FAMILY RIGHT THERE. I hope Rich someday acknowledges what she did for him just then, bc ugh it was everythinggggg. Thankfully the team is there and Reade is clever enough to order Jane to find a fusebox. I love the tasks each of the team takes-- Jane cuts the power, saving Patterson, Reade arrests Kathy, Weller helps Patterson up and is checking her over all concerned, and Zapata FLICKS RICH until he comes around hahahaha. “He’s fine” lol. I love that she’s all blase about it but they would have been genuinely upset if he was seriously injured. Pretend all you like, I know you care!!

Back at base, the rest of the team calls Rich and Patterson into the conference room to tell them that Hirst wants the other mice caught, but Kathy is refusing to give up names (‘she’s a mouse, not a rat’ hahahaha), and when Reade asks why she kidnapped them, Patterson answers that she was a huge Rich DotCom fangirl, which is technically a true statement. Rich says he didn’t know that was even a thing, which is a completely untrue statement haha. And then Reade says how lucky it is that there’s no evidence whatsoever to point to who the other two are because if he knew who they were he would have to prosecute them and ugh the team has clearly agreed that this is a ‘what happens in the team stays in the team’ situation and then even literally discuss how these tattoos are about them as a group, that Roman wants to expose their secrets specifically. But they have no idea why. (Punishing Jane, no?)

Naw look at this domestic Jeller. Jane is cooking her implausible vegan lasagne, and then Kurt tells her he loves her like ten times, which is super cute but still in an Australian accent!! Sully, c’mon, lol. But ugh he runs to the shower and wants her to join and lord I do love me some established relationship… but then of course lil bro has to call and cockblock, and ugh poor Jane is so upset about how things are between them but he’s all ‘grrrrrr must punish you for making me sad grrrrrrr’ and sigh I look forward to a little bit of character growth on his part lol

Oooh Patterson calls Reade and Zapata in to the lab to listen to the Kinga recording that they got, and finds out that it's been doctored, meaning someone is hiding something. And also, through magical genius means, she figured out the tattoo that Stuart was working on relates to Van Gogh’s famous self portrait. Which is super confusing until the next scene where an ominous man threatens the Kinga CEO never to talk about doctoring the recordings, and turns away, revealing… DUN DUN DUN….. he’s missing an ear. Ooooooooohhhhh intrigue. Who is Creepy Van Gogh and what does he want with the team????

[real-life-pine-tree]

Leo Will Never Know: Star Students (2/?)

In an alternate timeline, Yugi indirectly prevented the events of Arc-V from ever happening. But how could this small change have an impact on a few selected people? A spin-off of the Arc-V Aftermath series. Based on the hilarious comic by @justanotherotakuandartist​. Co-written with @violetganache42​.

A few days later, Michael and Ray went to a domed building to take their entrance exams and passed with flying colors. Upon heading to Duel Academy and Chancellor Sheppard introducing himself to the students, they learned what ranking they were based on the colors of their uniforms. Ray and Michael both got Obelisk Blue, much to her disappointment because now she has to wear a uniform that reminds her of Kaiba. They headed towards their dorms when they learned there are two dorms: one for boys and one for girls.

In the girls' dorm, as soon as Ray arrived in her room, she took off her uniform. It was a blue jacket that looked too much like one of the jackets Kaiba usually wears. She knew it was mandatory to wear it, but why would she wear something that reminds her of the one person who ruined her life?

She then had an idea on how she can still wear her uniform without having it to remind her of him. She searched all over her room for some bleach, scissors, and a sewing kit. Several minutes later, she discovered that the girls' dorm building had a laundromat, which was perfect for her to bleach her trench coat. She placed it in the washing machine and poured the chemical in to white it out and then in the dryer to clean it.

A couple hours later, she took it to a tailor room she stumbled upon earlier to readjust it to an appropriate length; while growing up on the streets, she learned how to sew so that she can make clothes for herself and Leo, so her skills will definitely come in handy. Using a nearby mannequin for reference, she placed the white jacket on it and measured where she believed it should stop, having settled on around the waist. She took a marker and lightly made a mark on the jacket as reference on where to cut; after removing it from the mannequin, she used a pair of scissors to cut the flared ends off.

The blue trimmings weren't affected by the beach, but it still help made the trench coat stand out, so she trimmed them off the now-detached ends. She aligned them on her work-in-progress jacket, and with careful and precise dedication, sewed them in place.

After spending so many hours working, Ray finally finished with her modified uniform, consisting of the white sleeveless jacket with blue trimmings, a blue miniskirt, and blue boots. As she spent her first year at Duel Academy, all the female Obelisk Blue students couldn't help but admire what she was wearing.

"Nice uniform," an Obelisk Blue student named Alexis Rhodes said. "Did you make that?"

"I sure did," Ray happily answered. "I couldn't stand wearing a typical uniform, so I had to make some adjustments."

"You have to show me what you did," Alexis happily said. "It looks more fashionable than these old jackets."

Later that day, Ray showed Alexis how she made her custom uniform, who was given permission to use the latter's trench coat as an example. She gave her the full tutorial, from bleaching it to cutting the ends off at the waist area to sewing the trimmings back on the newly-changed jacket. Several more hours later, Cyber Angel/Girl user was astonished with the results, commenting on how it made her appear more feminine.

"Not bad," Alexis commented, checking out her reflection in a mirror. "This uniform is more fitting."

"Thanks," Ray said. "I had to learn how to sew clothing, so I know how to modify outfits."

"Well it does look amazing," Alexis said. "Is it alright if I tell some of my friends about this?"

"Sure," Ray answered.

That same night, Alexis informed her friends, Jasmine Makurada and Mindy Hamaguchi, about the modified uniform she was shown how to make. Pretty soon, after learning how to do it themselves, it became a widespread trend among the female students all over the school. Even the faculty and the non-Obelisk Blue students spotted and took note on the different jackets that have quickly become popular.

"Wow Ray," Michael said during lunch. "A lot of students really like your modified uniform style."

"Thanks," Ray said. "Although I didn't think it would become a trend. I originally didn't want to wear something that reminds me of Kaiba."

"Well you better get used to the trend," Michael said. "I heard there's a Slifer Red junior student who wants to wear that kind of uniform for his senior year."

Ray wasn't expecting a Slifer Red student to get inspired to wear a similar outfit to the ones going around campus. She asked what his name was and Michael said it was Chumley Huffington. It should be simple enough; since the non-Obelisk Blue jackets weren't as long as the old trench coats, all she's got to do is bleach it, with the trimmings still remaining red.

"I'm surprised the other students are interested in my custom uniforms," Ray remarked.

"It's not just the students," Michael clarified. "Nurse Fontaine likes the style too. You might have started this because of your past with KaibaCorp, but I think you unintentionally changed the uniform policy of this school."

The onion-haired teen was right. Due to the skyrocketing popularity of Ray's custom uniforms, Chancellor Sheppard made the official decision to have them implemented as part of the school's dress code; the students were also given the liberty to wear variations of their attires. Aside from this surprise, her and Michael's first year at Duel Academy went well.

Their second year had another group of students joining the current ones; they included Slifer Red students Jaden Yuki and Syrus Truesdale, Ra Yellow mathematician Bastion Misawa, and Obelisk Blue "elite Duelist" Chazz Princeton, who was initially selfish and egotistical. So far, not a lot happened to them, other than seeing the new students going on misadventures including the risk of expulsion, the Abandoned Dorm, Jaden and Syrus' tag team duel against the Paradox Brothers, an escaped dueling test monkey, the summoned spirit of Jinzo, a duel against Harrington Rosewood (captain of Duel Academy's tennis team) for Alexis' affection, a duel giant, a Tarzan-esque student named Damon, a copycat duelist who stole Yugi's deck and mimicked his mannerisms (much to Michael's embarrassment), a love-struck Zane Truesdale fan switching her feelings towards Jaden, and the school duel against North Academy. The second half, however, affected them more because a threat was looming over Duel Academy: the Shadow Riders.

During this fiasco, Ray had come across Chazz during a chance encounter near the lake. Needless to say, the former Obelisk student was surprised.

"You're Ray Akaba!" Chazz exclaimed.

"Yeah," Ray said, puzzled by his behavior. "Can I help you?"

"You're that girl who changed the uniform policy!" Chazz said. "Please use your special sewing skills on my uniform!"

Ray was rather embarrassed about being praised like that. Her simple decision to alter her jacket to not remind her of Kaiba has made her become a legend among the students for over a year. She took a look at Chazz's uniform, which wasn't school-related, but was allowed to wear it as long as he followed the rules. In fact, nonuniforms have also been made as an exception during the uniform policy change. His grayish-purple shirt, dark blue jeans, and brown shoes were fine, but his dark gray trench coat was tattered at the ends. Was that why he needed his help?

"I'll see what I can do," Ray said.

"Thank you, Ms. Akaba!" Chazz said as he took off his trench coat and gave it to Ray.

Because of her legacy, Ray was given her own sewing kit as a thank you gift for creating an extraordinary change. As she was about to fix up the tattered ends, she noticed there were a few rips on the sleeves. Where did Chazz get this coat in the first place? Was it part of the clothes he got during his stay at North Academy? Regardless, she knew he was going to love the results once she's finished.

Meanwhile, Michael strolled by the Slifer Red dorm as part of his personal tour of what the other dorms are like. He was still having a hard time accepting that this was where some of the students were staying for the next few years…although it does have a neat view of the ocean. As he gazed upon the dorm's structure, a familiar voice called from the balcony. He eyes shifted in the direction of where it was coming from, leading him to notice it belonged to Jaden. How did he not notice the Elemental HERO user until just now?

"Whoa, is that a dragon?!" Jaden had called out.

Michael glanced over at his Odd-Eyes Dragon card; since it was the only dragon he has, it obviously was what Jaden was referring to. The Obelisk Blue teen still had his tendency to leave Odd-Eyes out of his deck and bring his friend along with him all the time.

However, Michael quickly realized there was no way for Jaden to see that card all the way on the ground. "How did you...?"

"I can see him standing next to you," Jaden explained, walking over to the onion-haired teen. "And from the looks of it, he seems pretty protective."

Michael asked himself how it was possible for Jaden to see Odd-Eyes. Can he also communicate with Duel Monster Spirits too?

"You can actually see Duel Monster Spirits?" Michael asked.

"Sure can," Jaden cheerfully answered. "Sure is fun to see them."

"I can't actually see them," Michael admitted. "I can only hear Odd-Eyes speak to me through his card."

"There's a difference?" Jaden asked.

"There is," Michael answered.

"Then maybe we should hang out some time after this whole Shadow Riders thing is taken care of so you can tell me more about this dragon of yours," Jaden suggested, putting his arm across Michael's shoulders. "Whaddya say?" He winked with a huge grin on his face.

Was this Jaden's way of flirting? Sure looks like it and it made Michael surprised yet a bit uncomfortable. It was obvious he had feelings for Ray, making him straight, but what about Jaden? Was he homosexual or bisexual with a male preference? Then again, it would be nice to befriend someone from outside of the Obelisk Blue dorms; hopefully, Jaden will understand that he already has a crush on his childhood friend.

"Sure," Michael said. "I can tell you all about my experiences with Odd-Eyes."

"Sounds pretty sweet to me," Jaden said. "Maybe you can also tell me where you got those cool green highlights."

Back at the female Obelisk Blue dorm, Ray finished sewing up the last rip on the left sleeve, completely fixing Chazz's trench coat. Her kit had similar colors, but they were in different shades; while teaching herself how to sew during the past decade, she also developed an extremely keen eye that can tell which hue matches the piece of clothing. Luckily, the tailor room had some fabric in the exact colors she needed. Despite the mini search she went on, she made the entire jacket look brand new again.

At that moment, Ray had a sudden idea. What if she could start a mini-business during the remainder of her school years? There were probably other students who need to repair their uniforms. Maybe she could help out with that. She made a post-it note reminding herself to return Chazz's trench coat and set up flyers promoting free uniform repairs first thing tomorrow morning.

There was a knock on the door, leading Ray to inform the person that it's unlocked. That person she spoke to turned out to be Michael. Needless to say, what he said was rather unexpected as soon as he entered the room.

"I love you, Ray Akaba!" the onion-haired teen declared.

A light tint of pink quickly formed on Ray's cheeks as she stood frozen in place. The pen she used to write the reminder slipped out of her hand and fell on the floor just as she was about to put it away when she heard those five words.

"Michael?" Ray asked. "Why did you- MMPH!"

Her question was cut off with a kiss from Michael, but it was more of a running kiss. He had dashed towards her to connect his lips with hers, only for them to fall down to the floor in the process. Fortunately, their kiss wasn't broken and she eventually gave in before they engaged in a loving make-out session. Ray's right hand landed on the back of Michael's head as she entangled her fingers through his silver strands whereas her left arm wrapped itself on his back, using her left hand to lightly grip onto his shoulder and embracing him.

Some time later, the two had to part for air, but their arms were still wrapped around each other. "What's...going on?" Ray asked, having a hard time speaking due to Michael giving small kisses on her neck. Her grip on his hair tightened as he did so.

"Turns out that Jaden kid is attracted to guys," Michael explained between kisses. "It made me realize you're the only person I love."

Ray was flummoxed by what Michael said, and those pecks on her neck made it difficult to understand what he means. She soon deduced that he ultimately admitted his sexual preference to Jaden when they met. Simultaneously, she also began to see how cute her childhood friend really is.

"Well you do have cute hair and nice eyes," Ray admitted, ruffling the onion-shaped locks.

"So does that mean...?" Michael asked.

"I guess we're officially boyfriend and girlfriend," Ray admitted. "But..."

"I told you, we have nothing to worry about," Michael repeated. "Leo will never know."

[dickganseywrites-blog]

my kiddos valentines plans;

copying danni sorry about it.

ivy; dierks was on set so ivy spent the day with her roomies and she kissed cecily on the cheek and bought her a box of heart shaped chocolates lmao. jack sang to her and she fucking Loved It and she told him that dierks wouldn't mind sharing her today and that she was claiming him as her valentine (i'm so sorry). she didn't see will and was sad about it so she sent him a text telling him that she's upset she didn't get to ambush him for cuddles. she also sent conner and riley valentines cards each lmao none for u monty my dude. anyway she spent the evening with dierks, they probably went for a really nice meal and then went back to his for Other Things.

scotty; as we know scotty went a little overboard on donuts and was trying to see how many donuts it was physically possible for him to eat. how is that boy still in such good shape? the mind boggles. anyways he very unapologetically claimed laura as his valentine but he definitely shot eloise a cute, flirty little text. he tried to summon up the courage to text alfie and callum, too, but he chickened out. he definitely sent out texts in the morning to laura, lydia, evie, and all of the cheersquad (including alex), as well as one to christian too.

hazel; haze was definitely working and she had the best day ever handing over cutesy, loved up cupcakes and donuts and the likes to all her customers (though she was a bit baffled by the lovely gent who decided to order 96 donuts!). she got home and decorated cupcakes with ella, and also put up a cover of herself singing love story by taylor swift cos she's a fucking Nerd.

andrew; drew was on set flirting with everyone. he kissed lo. he kissed maggie and ember, too. dierks ducked outta that shit like there's no tomorrow, and he decided he'd just give emma a hug instead of pushing his luck. but he told her that she was pretty and tried again to ask her out on a date lmao.

amelia; AMELIA FLORENCE BARTEN WENT ON A FUCKING DATE WITH LEVI LOWERY

cody; lmao idk kit gave her chocolates and she gave kit a kiss on the fucking mouth lmao. she actually did not go drinking on this here evening, she sorta behaved which is boring. she doesn't give two shits about valentines tho.

darren; darren, you know fucking what i hate this dickhead. i hate him so much. darren spent a lot of time writing a Song for someone (danni don't fucking look at me), but he also sent taylor, james, brooke, bea, alex, rachel, finn, attie, mellie, and harper valentines cards. harper got the biggest card and he painted a god damn family fucking portrait on it, ferris included, because he's so ridiculous i actually hate him a little bit.

hero; hero was definitely working and she gave riley and foster valentines cards and was brave enough to even give riley a kiss on the cheek and a hug. she went to see greyson and brought him a card too, with extra cuddles and told him that she loves him. she wanted to spend more time with him but she had a date with calvin and she felt really guilty because she was worried about greyson, but there you have it. she also got hunter a valentines gift and sent bennett a text that took her 4 hours, 17 minutes, and 21 seconds to muster up the courage to send. she made audrey breakfast too but she didn't make a fuss or anything, she just wanted to do something nice for her bc she adores her.

billy; billy oh my fucking god billy spent the day pining after simon and then feeling guilty about it. he thought about julian a bit, but less than he did last year on valentines day. he's making progress. he wished simon (AND ALL OF HIS EMPLOYEES) a happy valentines day and then went to see how rhodes was doing. he checked on him probably more than he should have, and told him he loves him and then stole one of the cookies harper made for him. he spent the night cuddled on a couch with harry while watching valentines day and regretted it a little. eliana hid in her room because ew, romance.

jax; jaxy was evie's valentine and he decided not to send ronan a text because he's a chicken. he took evie out for a meal though and they stayed up all night watching movies and waiting for daisy to get back from her date so they could get all the details. at his apartment, of course, because he didn't wanna risk seeing ronan. which means oz was probably present for date talk, i'm sorry baby boy.

daisy; went on a date with reuben and had a great time. went back to jaxy's to tell her wee squad all about it, but she definitely stopped by kit's for kisses, cuddles, and her daily kit time. also it was shane's birthday so she didn't forget about that and she brought him a gift and gave him a cuddle and told him to get his shit together with mickey. sorry bout her.

jason; definitely gave caroline a card that said 'i pika-choose you' on it and he was really proud of himself. he gave her loads of cuddles, as always, and sent delaney, elsie, tara, annie, and wardo cute texts too. he didn't do much, though, and just spent the night teasing caroline probably.

lucy; lucy pined after bea a little, if we're being honest. she also sent james and marley long and soppy texts, but spent the night at home doing nothing.

henry; baby boy went birdwatching with wren and blushed and giggled more than is probably socially acceptable, he had a great time and has definitely bombarded riley today to tell him all about it.

indy; indy went out with justin, raegan, and colton, and spent the whole night feeling nervous and insecure. she told justin he's a dick more than once, but never in front of rae or colton. she also spent the morning kissing everyone and anyone that would have her, cuddled with mellie for a solid hour, and felt really guilty about leaving her. she definitely climbed into her bed once she got home though and told her to never ever let her leave the apartment ever again.

ronnie; ronnie spent the day contemplating making max proud by overcoming his fears and throwing himself into the fucking ocean after seeing the card taylor sent. he watched bend it like beckham but then he just felt worse because he's not dating james, he's not dating david beckham, and he's not dating jonathan rhys meyers either.

lizzie; lizzie thought a lot about conrad, a lot more than she cares to admit, and spent the day with richie of course. she wished conrad a happy valentines day too, and then kissed him on the cheek the next time she saw him. she knows angelica will never let her live it down, though.

katie; spent the day working and tried to say hi to holly but she didn't look best pleased so she decided against it. spent the night with her hons tho, and sent noah the soppiest valentines card the world has ever seen. she got a kiss from angelica and turned bright red but tried to act cool about it, and when a guy chatted her up while they were out she panicked and told him that she already had a valentine and hid behind seth. seth still doesn't know what happened, unless kevin told him because kevin nearly cracked a rib laughing at her.

cassie; cassie was carter's valentine but let's not pretend she didn't give so many cuddles!!!! she made noah pancakes (with extra syrup) and screamed when reuben told her about his date, and helped him pick out his outfit (he didn't ask, she just sort of got ahead of herself), and she made sure to text will and louis telling them that she hoped they had the most super duper valentines ever. she cried when dixie told her about their parents, i'm so sorry. and she sent a secret valentines card to kevin but you didn't hear that from me.

jess; jess pouted a lot and was mad that cassie got to be carter's valentine. he still has convinced himself that carter has a thing for her, and cassie's always talking about just how handsome carter is and even the jess wants to yell I KNOW!!!! in her face he doesn't. he just pouts.

isaac; noah sung to him and isaac pretended that he hated it. noah sung to him and isaac pretended that the flutter in his chest was just heartburn. noah sung to him and isaac pretended that the reason he couldn't stop thinking about it for the rest of the day was because noah just irritated him so much. noah sung to him and isaac's cheeks were pink for the whole of rehearsal.

monty; MONTY PINED OVER RILEY AS PER FUCKING USUAL and had a mini breakdown to adam probably. he gave riley chocolates, and a card, and comics. as a pal though, as a buddy, as a friend. he wished shane a happy birthday too and was far more composed in doing so than he was during any of the time he spent with riley. it was a day.

rose; rose didn't do much. she was working and she kissed clarke, kenny, and harvey on the cheek, and that was that. she also teased kenny relentlessly about harvey but what's new there. then she went home and watched horror movies all night.

david; DAVID KISSED BENJI BECAUSE OF COURSE HE FUCKING DID. and he saw cecily at work and tried to dazzle her with a smile but she seemed a little alarmed and so he tried not to frighten her some more.

blair; went on a date with jimmy, much to robbie's dismay. she didn't mind, she got to spend the day with her fav boy and wellington's newest and cutest farmboy. she was really content and took a cute selfie of herself kissing jimmy on the cheek, as well as taking some pics with robbie because she knows how important memories are to him.

clarke; spent the day thinking about love and wishing that she wasn't such a mess. she bought beau some chocolates and told her what a great job she does, and she probably said something really heartfelt and soppy to rose, kenny, and harvey. she went home and waited for bailey to get back and she made her dinner.

barry; barry got flowers from ellis and tried to remain as civil and composed as possible. he smiled, thanked her, wished her a happy valentines day, and popped one of the flowers into her hair for extra measure. he gave all of his students one piece of valentines candy each, and took all of the cards he received home and stuck them into a scrap book lol. he kept ellis' flowers, too, and put them in a vase and is taking very good care of them, thank you very much. rudy and lola were with their mother so he spent the night alone and he sent caroline a text that he thought was 'cute' but it actually just said 'Have a good one x', so.

cedric; cedric may or may not have shed a tear or two when he saw the drawing from diego, but nobody needs to know that. he has it framed in his shop. he made origami butterflies for diego, and origami horses for nobody in particular. he's not sure why he picked horses, but they just sort of called out to him and now they're hanging from the doorway in his shop. he spent the night with all his pets, though. nothing special.

séamus; dixie wished him a happy valentines and so he had a really really good day. darragh wasn't around all day, probably off drinking and doing lord knows what. he laid low for the day, writing songs and missing home.

rory; kissed ellis and told her that she was his valentine, but he's rory so he went out and ended up stumbling in at 3am with some fella he met whose name he can't recall. a romantic, so he is.

mack; roy forgot it was valentines day and absolutely nobody was subtle in letting her know what they thought about that. she defended him, and defended him some more when he got upset about adam's card. he cooked her a mediocre dinner (no he didn't, he ordered chinese and pretended he cooked it), and got them a cheap bottle of wine (the man is Loaded, but he's a dick), and mack didn't stay the night. she told adam he's a dick but gave him a hug and a kiss and thanked him for the card, even though he's still a dick.

steven; steven didn't know what to do with himself so he just spent the day with his sisters, and sent sonny a text telling him he missed him.

caleb; caleb and becky went out for a meal and did cute couple things. it was nice, they had fun, and he didn't get injured.

jj; wee bab spent the day with mariana (his foster sister) and her daughter, he was working at a novel idea first tho so he saw taylor briefly and panicked and spilled hot coffee down his front. it wasn't cute. he and mariana didn't wanna go back to their house though so he took her and her daughter out and treated them to dinner. then he spent the night painting and drawing in his bedroom, as always.

teddy; TEDDY MET CARTER AND WAS SHOOK AND HUGGED A CUTE BOY. he also had the courage to ask ryke if he wanted to be his valentine bc carter told him that it's ok to ask a straight boy to be your valentine as friends. he was nervous but it was innocent so he figured it was ok. he also hugged wren a lot and he sent his mum a bouquet of flowers and a pretty pearl necklace, and told his parents that he loves them. he probably spent the evening hanging out with ryke though.

jensen; probably glared at lux a little bit while thinking about the fact that she's pretty and that's annoying and dumb. he's a child. he went to work and then hung out at the bar and that was it. he told sawyer she's his valentine, tho. no takebacks.