#stinky toddler cat

[raid3r-r4bbit]

Yuzu is a menace

Also found out he was a boy because he unceremoniously put his balls in my face and proceeded to rip the stankiest fart.

Other than the farting, and the clawing, love him tho.

[raeofgayshine]

Jason, holding up Damian: Stinky

Dick: No!!! Don’t be mean!!

Jason, swaying him back and forth: Stinky bastard man

Dick: No!!!!!!

Tim, not looking up from his case files: Naught baby. Brat Robin.

Dick: NO!!!!!!!!!

[teaboot]

If you could pick 2 to 5 current animals to make a hybrid, what would you pick?

I would do platypus for most of the body, raven for wings and intelligence, peacock for coloring, and pigs for the noises because pig snorts make me laugh.

Asks are supposed to be fun, if you don't want to answer or take a while to answer that is perfectly fine. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

I have been thinking about this ALL DAY

My ideal animal to play God at making would HAVE TO BE:

Soft. Ideally pettable. Furry, but not like. Bristly or oily

Not stinky. Dogs always smell like foot, I'm sorry

Affectionate, but not clingy

Character-ful. Imperfect. TOO cute or sweet and we get into uncomfortable uncanny Valley territory.

Self-sufficient. Will it survive in it's natural habitat? Can it protect itself from stupid people? Needs some form of self-defense.

NOW, given these criteria I have chosen THESE CREACHURS :

MOLE

Mole fur sticks directly up from its body to minimize friction when digging forwards OR backwards. With the fur of the mole, THIS CREACHUR is PETTABLE IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

2. CRESTED AUKLET

For some godforsaken reason, the crested anklet is a bird which releases the smell of SWEET TANGERINES, a scent which I am personally fond of. THIS CREACHUR smells DELIGHTFUL.

3. DOMESTIC CAT

THIS CREACHUR is AFFECTIONATE TOWARDS HUMANS, but not so much that it's constantly trying to crawl up your ass. IDEAL SOCIAL COMPANION

4. SILKY ANTEATER

The silky anteater, like the platypus, is a SLIGHTLY FUCKED LITTLE GUY. Look at him. He's adorable, but not saccharine. He's approachable. Believable. Somewhat muppet-like. A real down-to-earth guy. An everyman sort of freak. A friend.

5. EMPEROR SCORPION

One of the more chill scorpions, the Emperor Scorpion is MILDLY VENOMOUS. By which I mean, like. Bee sting-level. You probably won't let your toddler goof around with one, but you could still feasibly keep one as a pet. THIS CREACHUR is SECURE

TO CONCLUDE:

We are looking at an affectionate, roughly kitten-sized animal with a cat's temperament and the fur of a mole, which smells of citrus fruits, is shaped like a silky anteater, and is able to deliver a first-painful, then mostly-just-itchy sting when threatened. Artist's render pending

[sophvilla]

My Reason to Exist °‧🫧

Pairing: Husband! OT5 x Wife Femreader x your baby

Summary: You always endured your Husband's protectiveness but you didn't know that you have to cope up with your kids too

Genre: Fluff, Kissing , protectiveness from your husband's as well as you kids

Warning: Nonidol! OT5 x Nonidol! Fem!reader, Husband x Wife x Baby/toddler trope, sweet fluff, protectiveness, mention of (baby , princess, wife )

CHOI YEONJUN

Two peas in a pod, twins, copies: these are all things people have called your husband and son.

honestly, they're not wrong. your son has his father's looks from his fox eyes to his pouty lips -Yeonjun swears he has your nose and ears but anyway-and he carries the same protectiveness and love he holds for you, if not amplified.

you can't count on one hand the amount of times the house has been turned upside down because of their fights for a cuddle session with you.

of course, you have always tried suggesting them simply sharing you, but these problem children would rather eat raw zucchini than ever share the cuddle time.

so while your son is barely six, you can still count on him to team up with Yeonjun against anyone who wrongs you in anyway like what's happening right now for example.

you're out with your lovely family to buy some groceries, and since they both were whining about getting some sweets, you allowed them to go and snatch a couple from the next aisle.

on the other hand, you stayed to look for another type of detergent to clean the floor-especially since Yeonjun got this new type of paint for s/n and it's quite an endeavour to remove it with a regular detergent.

however, being in the cleaning supplies section never guaranteed the lack of filthy men who can't take no for an answer. this one man approaches you, smug grin on his face as he leans on the wall, "what's a pretty lady like you doing alone?"

"buying groceries like a normal person; now please leave me alone."

he quickly frowns, "don't be so stingy doll," his hand extends towards your arm, "I can show you a good time; I promise--"

the man is swiftly smacked with an egg on his face, and he is left with the egg dripping down his face, "what's your wrong with your kid, man?!" he yells at the person behind you.

He then grumbles, "ruined a potential good night."

"My kid was absolutely right in what he did," you hear Yeonjun’s voice. you then feel a hand on your shoulder, and you're pulled into a chest you're all too familiar with, ""junnie-"

your husband shoots a small smile your way, pressing a quick kiss to your lips, before looking at his son, "that last throw was very good, son ! throw another one but just below his stomach."

A Cheshire cat-like grin is plastered on your husband's face as your boy prepares to launch another egg at the man.

there is a very evident scowl on your son's face as he yells, "don't you ever bother mama again, you stinky bum crumb!"

the man gasps and tries to make a run for it, but your son wouldn't be the son of Choi Yeonjun if he doesn't manage to land the hit exactly where he wants.

the man quickly crumbles to the ground screaming and alerting literally everyone in the store.

So Yeonjun picks both you and your son and makes a run for it.

you hold tightly onto him, "wait, ‘junnie, the groceries!"

"we can always order! saving my princess and son is more important!"

your son grumbles, "but I want to hit the rude man!"

"me too, champ, but-" Yeonjun’s sweat-drops and glances behind him, "I doubt the angry security guards wouldn't like that!"

CHOI SOOBIN

Your twin girls are one of the sassiest to exist.

In a way, they take after their father who is also pretty sassy but very low-key.

The sass of all three combined is terrible to be the victim of. Luckily for you, they don’t dare direct their triple ray towards you, especially-in any argument at least one will try to win you over. As you know the girls have inherited their father's professional yapping mechanism since birth, the trinity force uses that card whenever they're in an argument.

If it’s Soobin trying to stay on your good side, then he is hugging you from behind, pressing feather-like kisses on your shoulder and whispering about how sweet you are. If it’s the girls, then they cling to your legs and keep yelling about how much they love you.

So it is safe to say that you have a small squad to protect you from any potential “danger”.

“oh my, dear shouldn’t you focus on refining yourself a bit more?” you hear a woman say beside you.

You turn towards her, offended, “excuse me?”

“I mean,” her eyes scan you, disapprovingly, “you look average at best, and with that you won’t be able to find yourself a husband, let alone have children.”

You’re still processing her audacity as she continues, “but then again, it’s probably for the better that you don’t have children; you can barely take care of yourself.”

“can I help you?” your husband says as he approaches the woman.

She smiles condescendingly before chuckling, “I was simply telling this lady to take care of herself more; she hardly looks presentable.”

Soobin’s smiles tenses up as he is about to give the woman a peace of his mind, but his daughters beat him to it.

Your older twin stands in front of the woman, scanning her with pure disgust in her eyes.

She grimaces and voices out her thoughts, “you are like a crunchy lizard.”

The woman gasps, “how dare you-!”

You cut off the woman, curious about your daughter’s conclusion, “why a crunchy lizard, sweetheart?”

Your daughter looks at you with a small frown, shaking her head, “a crunchy lizard is an ugly sad lizard.”

A snort escapes your husband, and you’re barely able to contain your smile.

Your other daughter follows up, looking at her twin sister, “the lady looks like that one green thingy we saw yesterday,” she taps her little foot, trying to remember and beams at the woman,

“shrek! You look like shrek!”

Then they both glare at her, frowning, “you’re a monkey!”

Your husband doesn’t let it go as he deals the final -subtle-blow, “come on now girls; we shouldn’t bully the lady with the mcdonald’s like hairline Anymore, "

"Also ma’am you should look at yourself in the mirror before saying something to Others especially my wife, as you can see she gave birth to my beautiful daughters and she looks like a absolute Goddess to me and we actually didn't ask for any of you opinion, so keep them to you shallow of a life and excuse us please” Your husband concludes.

It seems like the woman can’t take it anymore as She starts muttering how the society is and the new generation is disrespectful.

A moment of silence is shared across the four Of you, before you carry both of your girls in your arms and start tickling them, “I don’t know whether to be proud of you or scold you, little evil Girls!”

They squeal, trying to escape your hold and calling for their father.

Soobin chuckles and wraps his arms around the three of you, “let them have it for tonight, y/n,” he ruffles their hair, “they were brave and defended their mom, after all.”

“yeah, papa is right!”

“yes mama, please!”

You pout then smirk at geto, “well I don’t mind, and since papa is also very proud of you girls, he will buy any toy that you guys want today!”

The colour drains from your husband’s face, and he Watches motionlessly as his girls latch onto him, screaming about the toys they want.

You giggle at his expression and blow him a kiss. He reluctantly blows you one back, while the girls excitedly pull him towards the toy store.

CHOI BEOMGYU

Your husband and son are so alike, save for the part that your husband is a bit more shameless, and your son is more on the shy side.

However, they both have the same bluntness and the tendency to give anyone who they don’t like attitude.

For example, today, you were walking in the park with the both of them to unwind a bit.

Not to mention that your son wanted to walk his dogs which was a plus, since you would be able to watch your dear son play around with them.

It was all going great until you saw an old ‘friend’ who came running at the sight of you. He was someone who has always been way too touchy and in your personal bubble.

You have tried talking to him about it, but you’re confident that he does it to somehow force you into reciprocating the intimacy.

Even if you’re a married woman with a freaking kid.

He giddily clasps your hand, “y/n, ‘been a long time!”

“h-hey,” you smile awkwardly.

He laughs, “I was passing by when I saw your figure, and I couldn’t help but come and say hi.”

You nod, “that’s great, but I am busy, so maybe later?-“

“you’ve gotten even prettier!” he exclaims, “I wish you would finally take me out on a-“

“can’t you see that she is uncomfortable?” your son retorts, “also, you should step back; you shouldn’t touch someone like this without asking them.”

You son squeezes himself between the both you and glares at the man.

The guy was about to reply to your son, but Beomgyu pushes him back with ease, pulling you beside him and hand resting on your waist almost by instinct, “My son’s right,” he tilts his head a bit, “ever been taught manners or do I have to do the teaching for you?”

The guy is taken back; offended, he snaps “you can’t speak to me like that!”

“and you can’t hold my mom’s hands like that, but here we are,” your son cleverly sasses him. On the other hand, your-shameless-husband pulls you into one scandalous kiss and smirks at the guy when he pulls back, “and you can’t hit on a married woman, by the way.”

You hear your son gag in disgust at his dad’s actions, but you’re too busy burying your face in your husband’s chest, hoping that the guy disappears before Beomgyu makes even more of a bigger scene.

You also hope that the ground would swallow you, but that’s the alternative option.

The guy clutches his fist, before walking away, spewing insults at the sky-since he is too scared to cuss out your husband. Once the man is out of sight, Beomgyu ruffles his child’s hair, chuckling, “good job, Bud.”

Your shy bean’s cheeks redden slightly as he looks Away, “…thanks.”

You’re still thinking about what just happened when you slap your husband’s chest, “Gyu, literally why?” you grumble, patting you Kid who started holding onto your leg the moment you hugged Beomgyu.

“why not,” your husband shrugs with a small smile, taking pride in your flustered form.

“dad, I want ice cream.”

“no, you just want me to let go your mom, so you can hog her for yourself,” Beomgyu grumbles, staring down at his and your little version.

Unfaltering, Your son looks up at him, “dad, I want ice cream.”

“- or else I’ll call Yeonjun uncle to-.”

“god damn it, listen here you-“

You laugh at their bickering

KANG TAEHYUN

There is no denying that both your son and your husband care for you very much, and they both- are very smart-as they compete for your attention.

I am talking he literally talk senses in your child whenever it comes to taking care of you whenever he wasn’t around and your son, in turn, lecture his father to stop being clingy to his mother as he is old enough to sleep by himself.

It's eventful, but you would be lying if you said that it wasn’t one of the reasons why you will get grey hair earlier than everyone else.

So their very smartass nature is also shown in their protectiveness over you.

A person doesn’t need to insult or even dare flirt with you for your devil duo to make their life a living hell; your husband and son don’t tolerate someone speaking to you if it causes you to ignore both of them.

For example, today when the three of you are sprawled in grass of the public park as all of soak the sun up, as you Are making a flower crown for both your nerds when suddenly you feel a tap on your shoulders

You turn to look at the person being a men with creepy smile gracing his face, “yes?”

He clears throat, a bit flustered by the attention, “I wanted to ask where are you from ?”

“Um-I ‘m sorry but ---”

“Don’t worry love, I’m gonn’ treat you good” as he lays his hand on your shoulders, your about to give him a good push before you son speaks up

“take your disgusting hands off my mother shoulders , you unnatural looking fiend,” your son sneers followed by his father’s presence as he pulls you behind him as the man hurriedly takes his hand off your shoulders, slightly annoyed as well as scared from your husband's buff figure from the two more company of your son and husband.

“who are you to lay your limping hands on my wife and speak to her so casually?” Taehyun presses, and the man cowers away at the intimidating look Taehyun gives him as well as his dead stare as the man grumbles a quick Apologise to your husband.

As the man tries to walk away your son stands in his tracks, hand folded and just like his father, that boba eyes glaring at the man

“ Aren’t you going to apologise to my mother properly for causing her inconvenience ? Don’t you have any manners, or not ? Is this how you treat a woman ?” Your son questioned him making the man conscious of his action followed by your husband’s comment

“ Well my son just said something, aren’t going to answer ? Or should we make-” Meanwhile, you’re watching all of that, mouth agape and trying to articulate anything but the man immediately replies in fear.

“I’m so sorry for the inconveniences I caused you ma’am I didn’t mean to do that, please forgive me ” bowing his head to you as you bowed back a little to acknowledge and accept his apology as the said man in question runs away after he saw your husband nod his head at him.

Your son hugs you tightly and glares at the man’s retreating figure “ Dad why did you let him go off so easily? ”

You immediately reply before Taehyun does “ he already apologized my Little man , so that’s enough of torment you and your dad gave him by your stares”

You can spot the small smirk on your husband’s face as he watches his son grumbles. As you pick up your son, kissing his cheek which makes him flustered and causing him to bury his face in your Neck.

Your husband watches both of you with a smile as He rolls his eyes, and pulls you by the waist, “do I look like I care about the stares ? He shouldn’t have interrupted our time together And neither should’ve touched your shoulders .”

“aww, you’re jealous!”

“no, I am not-“

“Yes you are father, don’t lie! ”

As both of laugh at your son words, you realise your creation as you ask both of them

“ Who’s gonna wear these cute flower crowns I made ! ”

“No- no Mama, you and dad can wear that not me ” Your son says quickly to get away from looking cute, as you thought to yourself how much he is like his father in nature too, always want to be more of intimidating rather than cute but they're so cute and adorable you can't even explain

“Nope baby you and your father, both are gonna wear them—”

Before you can finish the sentence both of your boys runs off away from you, laughing as you chase after them

HUENING KAI

You and your husband were blessed with the sweetest girl as your daughter, and she was just recently joined by another sweet girl.

You can never forget the happiness on your daughter’s face when she saw her baby sister.

It also seems that no matter how many times you give birth, your husband can’t help but get emotional when he holds your baby. His hands are forever delicate as he cradles her to his chest.

You remember what he said during the birth of your first daughter.

“I feel like a piece of heaven has been plucked and placed in my arms.”

The way he always goes soft for the three of you is honestly adorable.

Today, you were going on an outing with your- now 6 months old-baby and your older daughter who is almost six.

Your husband has always been happy about helping you out with you throughout everything, as he never misses a chance to carry the baby or the baby supplies.

You have offered to at least carry the bag, but he always refuses, stating that ‘you already carried the baby for nine entire months in your belly; this Is the least I can do.

So yeah, sometimes you wish to smooch your husband till forever at his cuteness and his care and love for you and your daughters but that’s not the point.

You’re walking hand in hand with your daughter as she sings her favorite song. You hear someone click their tongue, so you look to the side and lock eyes with an old lady. She takes the opportunity and approaches you.

“you should be ashamed of yourself!” she yells pointing at you, “your husband shouldn’t be carrying the baby supplies nor the baby itself for the matter,” she scowls, “that’s your job!”

Kai reply to the lady with a frown on his “with all due respect ma’am, but that isn’t her job, and taking care of the baby should be something we are both responsible for.”

“yeah!” your daughter huffs, “and don’t take out your sad life on my mama!”

Your eyes widen as you stare at your daughter.

On the other side, your husband is just as speechless. Your daughter pays no one any mind as she continues, “mama works hard every day! You wouldn’t know that! You immature nugget!”

Huening frowns lightly, “princess, that’s not nice-“

And for the cherry on top, your baby daughter throws the bottle cap she was playing with at the old lady, and frowns at her.

She starts babbling some nonsense that you’re Pretty sure are curse words in baby language. Having had enough, the old lady huffs, “the utter Disrespect,” and starts walking away.

The rest of the spectators’ eyes follow her till she is out of sight. Finally then, people start minding their own business, and you and your little family are left to the aftermath.

You giggle, “that was funny.”

“really?!” your daughter beams.

Kai cuts her off, “no,” he then looks at you with a small frown, a sigh escaping his lips, “y/n don’t encourage them-“

Your baby daughter screams happily when she sees her sister smile. She starts kicking her feet with the biggest smile on her own face.

Your older daughter starts laughing with her and tries to make her little sister laugh more-she was successful.

Meanwhile, you chuckle, leaning on your husband’s shoulder, “admit it, Babe; it was kind of funny.”

His resolve softens at the sound of laughter from All three of his girls, “okay, maybe a little, but-“

“yay!!”

Ladies: 1

Huening Kai: 0

[andrevasims]

TS2 Quality of Life Mods

idk what else to call them... Mods that make sims slightly less annoying to deal with, or slightly more self-sufficient, or tweaks that help reduce risks of corruption or otherwise avoid less than ideal problems/situations.

It’s not 100% comprehensive, just a list of mods I personally use or have used. Even then I have way more mods than this total, but I just wanted to focus on one specific aspect.

I intended this to be more like a personal archive than anything, so don’t take it as guarantee that every single one works together without conflict lol

SuperDuperHugTest (instantly removes Super Duper Hug Bug from any infected lot as soon as it’s loaded)

Mods by TwoJeffs

• Visitor Controller (you can allow/ban sims from a lot based on tons of things)

• ACR (Autonomous Casual Romance)

• Same Sex Marriage (no “Joined Union" for gay couples just “Married”)

• Stinky Dormies & Assignments Fix (dormies never shower or complete assignments because Do Assignment advertises Hygiene fulfillment??)

• Smart Beds (enforces bed ownership, but I don’t really use it because townies or sims you've never directed to Sleep will never autonomously sleep in a bed)

• Have-Adopt Child Want Fix (adopting a baby fulfills Have a Baby want & vice versa)

• Sim Blender (modify motives, skills, relationships, skills, personality... everything basically. also the fastest way to do the Good Genes Challenge because you can choose one sim to get pregnant by another sim and accelerate the pregnancy to only take 3 hours instead of 3 days)

• Preg for All Genders (AF sims can impregnate AF/AM sims, or AM sims can impregnate AM sims, stuff like that)

Mods by BoilingOil

• No Trash Memories (removes “Met [Sim]” and “Moved In/Out” memories so they don’t clog up the memory panel, also removes “Met Mystery Sim” memories from CAS sims so they can have a First Kiss with a real sim lol)

• No Sim Loaded (removes “Sim Loaded” tokens from sims, which apparently do nothing anyway, and whenever a lot is loaded it automatically clears/resets things that are otherwise broken or could possibly cause corruption, also suppresses the Super Duper Hug Bug so you don’t see it in the game)

• No Lecture Baby (stops sims from lecturing babies for being stinky)

• Less Toddler Annoyance (toddlers ask adults for stuff based on needs/skills)

Mods by Pescado

See this post and this post for mod descriptions/compatibility

• Batbox (clear gossip to reduce chances of corrupted memories, make sims stop doing the silly dance face if it gets stuck, delete all rain puddles, make dormies stuck as transparent from being in their room normal again, etc.)

• Stuck Object Remover (place it on a square to delete everything in that square if you can’t otherwise see/interact with whatever’s stuck there)

• No Unlinkage On Urnstone Delete (prevents shredded character files caused by deleting tombstones or when moving them to community lots)

• No Corrupted Death Memory (reduces the chances of seeing the corrupted memory that we all know as the “squiggly lines” - btw it’s a corrupted memory NOT a corrupted sim/hood. still not great, but also not the end of the world if you do end up seeing it)

• Creature Fixes (random fixes for supernatural behaviors/wants/appearances)

• AL Fixes (fixes related to things from AL that the EP broke or came broken lol)

• Vacation Fixes (fixes related to bugs from Bon Voyage)

• Anti-Redundancy (prevents tons of new NPCs being needlessly created)

• No SS Respawn (limits new townies being created to fill Uni Secret Societies)

• No Stray Respawns (prevents tons of stray dogs/cats being created)

• Garden Club Townie Fix (makes the game treat Garden Club members as townies, because it didn’t before, which prevents issues that may have caused)

• Door Jam Fix (fixes doors getting stuck open by a light or stair tile)

• Warmth Fixes (prevents zombies from getting frostbite or sims exercising indoors spontaneously combusting)

• Drama Professor & Met Self Fix (prevents useless memories related to the drama professor and “Met Self” from happening)

• Front Door Hack (the door a deliveryperson considers the “front” door makes more sense, instead of a garage or a door in the back of the house)

• Smarter Cashier (makes it faster to earn the Register talent badge, because apparently by default it otherwise takes 50 checkouts to get to Bronze)

• No Humble (Rod Humble doesn’t visit new families but you can buy his PC)

• No Eat Crap (sims stop eating when they’re full or if food spoils while eating)

• Anti-Foodnapping Hack (sims won’t fall asleep in their food if doing so would cause them to die of starvation)

• Less Whiny (sims whine less about “stupid things” - idk what that means but I’ve apparently been using this mod sooo yeah lol)

• Don’t Wave At Me (if sims are having a problem they just have the problem instead of yelling at you about it first)

• Anti-Weather Reactions (prevents reacting to weather from becoming a thing sims have to do immediately even when they’re doing other stuff or sleeping)

• No Servo “Do Chores” (removes autonomous “Do Chores” self interaction from servos)

• No Baby Harassment (stops sims from constantly interacting with babies, which is annoying because then babies never get a chance to sleep)

• No Route Fail (stops the complaining/yelling when sims are blocked by something, leaves only the thought bubble telling you what’s causing the blockage)

• Local Walkbys (walkby sims are from the same hood the lot is in)

Mods by Cyjon

• Smarter EP Check (many of Cyjon’s and others’ mods require this to work)

• Lot Inspecter (place it on a lot and it tells you if it’s safe to delete a lot or not because of tombstones, offworld loiterers, owned businesses, etc.)

• NPC Maker Fix (improves functionality of NPC Maker that can be spawned with TestingCheatsEnabled)

• Breadfruit Tree Fix (stops tree from burning forever after lightning hits it)

• Bug Collection Fix (sims literally can’t complete the bug collection without this)

• Call to Meal Fix (doing “Call to Meal” won’t include servos/babies/toddlers/plantsims/NPCs in who comes over to grab a plate)

• Dance Advertising Tweaks (different dances are preferred based on personality)

• Dance Near Stereo (sims doing the smustle get closer to the stereo first instead of just suddenly dancing outside in the corner of the lot alone)

• Dumb “In Use” Test (sims won’t go all the way across the lot to use an object if it’s already being used by another sim)

• Fake Townie Sales (NPCs/townies buying from a business don’t get tons of objects piled in their inventory, it just disappears)

• Fewer Tourists (allows smaller/fewer Vacation Destination tourist families, because otherwise the game expects 12 families with at least 4 members each and will not generate any tourists at all if there’s less than that)

• Floor Sleep Fix (fixes bug where a passed out sim stops gaining energy)

• Ghost Hack (set of mods you can pick & choose from for ghost behavior)

• Less Naked Freakout (sims in Love don’t get shocked seeing each other naked)

• Meet Professors Fix (fixes bug related to sims in Uni meeting professors)

• Memory Fixes (fixed bugs related to a few memories and associated gossip)

• More Dishes (sims pick up more dishes to clean at once than originally)

• No Table Platters (sims can’t put serving platters on eating surfaces)

• Pool Ladder Autonomy (sims autonomously enter pools using the ladder)

• Relationship Decay Fix (fixes bug related to daily relationship decay involving larger sized families/households)

• Self Preservation (sims prioritize satisfying Hunger over Bladder or Energy)

• Smarter Chair Selection (sims choose seating more sensibly, based on location/proximity/activity)

• Smarter Food Serving (sims decide how many plates to serve based on who’s on the lot without including people like babies or ghosts)

• Townie Apartment Residents (empty/unplayed apartments are filled by townies instead of social groups, which you might not have/want in a hood)

• Townie Enthusiasm Seeder (gives townies hobby enthusiasm if they don’t have any, usually when they were made in CAS then turned into a townie)

• Vampire Walkbys (more nighttime walkbys involving different supernaturals)

• Yoga/Meditation Fix (you can put Yoga/Meditation in a sim’s queue multiple times so they resume after falling without it disappearing from the queue)

Mods by Nopke

• Random Dormies (dormies that move in are picked randomly instead of being the lowest numbered, also if a dorm a dormie lived in is demolished or no longer has a playable sim in it then their old dorm room key is removed so they can move into a new dorm)

• Inventory Inheritance (the inventory of a sim who died gets moved to another sim based on their relationship with variances you can choose from)

• Food Already Available Fix (if food is already on a lot then sims won’t autonomously cook, get a snack, or “Stuff Face” with some variances you can choose from)

[hwaightme]

Family for Hire (Ch.3)

(family for hire ml) -> blurb and general tags in series ml

☀️ pairing: single dad!seonghwa x business woman!reader ☀️ genre: romance, family, domestic, fake marriage, slice of life ☀️ ch. summary: who knew that meeting a toddler could be so testing, a parking lot to an activity centre was the equivalent of a gladiator ring, and that sometimes it all could lead to awakening fears you did not know you had? ☀️ ch. wordcount: 4.4k ☀️ ch. warnings/tags: language, kind of edited kind of not, kid asking scary questions, Seonghwa being a dad, exploitation, deception, Nari having thoughts, brutal kid honesty, judgement, hints at not so happy family background, fear, anxiety, Seonghwa being very soft and patient and domestic ☀️ perma-taglist: @doom-fics @layzfeelit @acciocriativity @justhere4kpop @honey-lemon-goose @byuntrash101 ☀️ series taglist: @yunnierights @moniesmoon @jackinmyarea @hwalysm @sankatchu @hijeongguk @likexaxdaydream @treasure-hwa @paralumanniluna @naiify ☀️ a/n: Hello there! As I am in major Hwa brainrot, this chapter is a two-parter (aka there will be a 3.5), so stay tuned, big hugs and much love, and all comments, likes and reblogs loved :)

Chapter 3: Pocket Edition CEO

It was impossible to predict that National Geographic documentaries would be what informed you on how best to approach and act around a toddler. Heart nearly skipping out of your chest as you stared back at the little girl with pigtails, you imagined this being a scene of some face off in the animal kingdom. Or as a duel in the style of a Western. Either way, there needed to be a dramatic rolling tumbleweed, and Seonghwa would probably not want to ruin his pristine clothes by imitating the dead plant on some concrete.

You were fully expected to be punched or cussed out, as the honest little buggers can do. You could settle for being called ‘a stinky – insert whatever character they remembered off a screen’. But today the bar for being one of the wildest days of your life was not going to be lowered, and after scrutinising you to the point where you were convinced that she could see your organs, Nari switched her attention to her father, turned her body to the side, and began to crab walk in his direction. While still peering at you with suspicion and moving to hug the precious toy in her grasp. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see your so-called business partner stealing glances at you, which in turn made you roll your shoulders back, and settle into a friendly smile. But apparently, it was not satisfactory, as Seonghwa leaned towards you and whispered, lips barely moving.

“The car…”

“What, the car?”

“I left the gift in the car, so you can give it to her.”

“Oh, smart.”

The little girl was determined, continuing her journey sideways, nearly tripping three times, with Seonghwa’s hands automatically lifting as if he was about to bolt from place and go for a rugby style dive. And how were you supposed to stand? Was there a guide that you should have read about how to greet toddlers? It was not as simple as crouching down and letting them sniff your hand before petting their head, like you would do for a stranger's dog or cat. Besides, house pets liked you, so you did not need to put in extra effort for one to end up in your lap by the end of an evening. Here, there had to be some artistry involved. A complex system which no crash course would help with, but you were still cursing yourself for not preparing for the possibility of meeting Nari. Maybe a good start would be to look less like a mobster and get your hands out of your trouser pockets and instead act relaxed and ready for anything.

While you were fixated on the tiny form manoeuvring across the concrete play area in front of the activity centre, you took no notice of the other parents who began to pull up into the parking lot or simply amble in. Seonghwa, however, having practiced the skill of fatherly multitasking, was feeding his own ego by stealing sly glances at the ogling and gawking mothers, who probably had never in a million years expected him to pull up to 'gossip central' in a swanky new ride with someone who gave off the aura of an impressive postcode and a highly competitive job. He knew it was wrong to exploit your perceived status, which he, having had exposure to the field, wholly comprehended was an elaborate front to elevate your worth for employers, but since it happened somewhat accidentally, he saw no harm.

Settling for a couple of polite bows, the other parents did not dare approach him, clearly too perplexed and taken aback by your sudden appearance. Comically, what he could sense was fear on your end, had translated into a stoic and 'untouchable' demeanour, which only added to your overall image. Though for meeting his daughter this had to change, and fast. This was not an intern to take your frustrations out on and practice line manager rage; not that you would do that, but he war familiar with how expressive you could get.

"Hey... Y/N, inhale, exhale, no one is going to attack you."

"Sh- sure. You're right. Sorry." It only hit you just now that you would have to censor yourself if you were to get anywhere in the conversation realm with the toddler. You bit back another frustrated swear-down, rolled your shoulders back, and pretended like you were about to meet a highly influential CEO - not too terribly far from the truth.

And said high profile figure appeared to be fond of hiding behind her father’s leg, clinging onto the beige material, glancing at you like she was a koala on a tree, and you were a potential threat, here to cut down some eucalyptus. Seonghwa’s patience impressed you, as he pried the girl away from him, and with a kind smile patted her head and started whispering a quick introduction to who you were, what the car was here for, and reassuring her that you were safe. Her only response was that of suspicion as she let go of her father’s trouser leg and grabbed a somehow even larger fistful.

The scene must look odd for any onlookers – a showdown between the generations, an unlikely match of wariness and, what could be, personality. Here was to you thinking that Nari would be as sweet as this reformed Seonghwa who you had been trying to not let get to you all morning. A lady pushing a pram strolled past, and quickened her pace as soon as your glances met. What was it with child-related locations giving you the heebie-jeebies at any opportunity? You would not be able to answer whether the ‘showy’ motherly energy and outfit of that woman gave you a fright or not, but the agonising fire in your legs, begging for you to sprint in any direction as long as it took you far away from here, was very real. But you did not raise yourself to be a weakling, so with one final mental push, you gave your best in greeting the one and only Park Nari.

"Hi! “Um, yeah, so…” you began awkwardly, rocking on your feet once, twice as the girl was burning holes in your face with her glistening eyes which you swore showed the same constellations of stars as Seonghwa’s, “...as your dad had said, my name is L/N Y/N, and I am... an old friend." You let out a sharp exhale and looked to your newly faked husband for approval – with the negotiations, also known as Nari’s opinion, still in progress and formulating, every move could be critical and end up being catastrophic. Seonghwa seemed neutral for the time being – good enough in your books.

"Hello and nice to meet you, I am Park Nari. You don't look old." Nari answered, finally stepping away from Seonghwa, lowering her hands with the Chewbacca she had been holding almost touching the ground.

"Why thank-"

"You look tired."

Note to self: avoid getting roasted by toddlers at all costs, for they show no mercy and are honest to the point where their comments will feel like a punch in the gut. Your eyes widened as you took the impact quietly - your usual techniques were illegal to use against this opponent. Seonghwa had gone pale, hissing at his daughter that such behaviour was entirely inappropriate and that she should apologise immediately, but received his share of the fire, even though it was a sincere attempt on Nari's end to explain her logic:

"... like dad! You and dad look tired." She grinned, her already puffed-up cheeks ending up looking particularly 'squishable'. Not that you were ready to even shake hands with the kid, but you had eyes, and could make observations. Seonghwa looked up from his daughter, lips pursed, and gazed at you. You caught him mouthing a 'sorry' but waved him off and opened the car door closest to you, thanking the lucky stars and Seonghwa for positioning the gift bag conveniently right within reach from where you were. Time for child friendly bribery.

“Well, it is because I really wanted to pick something out for you, that you might enjoy.”

Nari’s expression transitioned to that of what looked to be understanding of something beyond your own comprehension. She was thinking deeply, and a child with thoughts was something you considered to be highly dangerous. You inched towards her, and crouched down to pass the bag, wondering for how long you could keep up the invested, calm and collected act. In the meantime, Seonghwa was perplexed by how your confidence from before had evaporated – in front of his very own flesh and blood, his precious little angel, his princess? If Seonghwa were to be frank, Nari was acting like a tiny menace, and he was failing to hold her back without risking her stealing the show with a tantrum or a walk out. But it was easy enough to understand her. You were a lot more than a stranger to him, while to Nari you were just that. Making an appearance in her life for the first time.

“Thank you…” Nari mumbled, giving you a bow, in the same style that her dad had taught her. He nodded to himself after having witnessed his baby acting moderately under control.

She even showed interest in the gift, taking it out of the bag and headbanging her gratitude when he took it from her and let her inspect the box in peace, and show it off to the plushie. That attitude did not last long, however, for as soon as everyone was settled in the car, with Seonghwa acting as Nari’s child safety seat in the back and you driving, she decided to start acting the real questions that were at the forefront of her mind.

"Are you trying to get into daddy's pants?"

Nearly choking on your spit and swerving, you gripped the steering wheel as if it was a rope that could help you get to safety. As you were thinking of something remotely appropriate for an answer, she continued, only this time addressing her father, who was burning up from embarrassment, a pained smile on his face.

“Dad, is Miss L/N trying to get in-”

“Nari, I love you, but this kind of question is not okay.” You were stunned by Seonghwa’s change in tone. Gone was the diffident guy you had greeted in the café. Enter stage left and move to the centre an authoritative, dependable father. You recognised notes of ‘university Seonghwa’ in his measured-out assertiveness, and, once more, fell into a stinging realisation that you really did not know the man of the present, most of your tactics and approaches relying on guesswork. It had been successful so far, but there was a limit to everything. You needed to focus and learn.

“Why?” the little girl asked, while you bit your tongue to not tell the driver who had just cut in front of you who you thought they were.

“It is a very personal one and makes the person you ask upset.”

“What does per... son… al… mean?” she asked, stumbling over the longer word.

“Remember how I explained the word ‘private’ to you? When I use it in this way, personal means the question is about something private and only related to the person you ask. And when something is private, would you want to say it out loud, hm, Nari?” you checked the rear-view mirror, and caught a glimpse of Seonghwa, head lowered, black wavy locks falling over his eyes as he spoke to his daughter with the attention of someone for whom nothing else existed. It was almost cute – the ‘almost’ coming from you being appalled that you just considered the possibility of a toddler being part of something you deemed adorable. You shook your head and blinked forcefully.

“No…”

“That’s right. So?”

“SORRY MISS L/N!” Nari screamed at the top of her voice, startling you. For the first time in your life being inside of the car did not feel safe to you and you contemplated accelerating above the official limit to cut some seconds. But seeing Seonghwa’s worried expression as he cradled Nari and kissed the top of her head made you want to be a law-abiding citizen once more. Not much fight and rebellion in you after all.

In true toddler fashion, the little girl got distracted, and for the next few minutes was preoccupied with your gift to her, babbling away with only the occasional interjection by Seonghwa to support her in her musings, ask a question or polish her already good pronunciation with some tiny adjustments. You remained quiet, letting your reflexes take over as you steered and looked out for road signs. While you had enough experience in going for aimless drives around the city to the level that you probably could be a taxi driver, Seonghwa’s neighbourhood was something of a mysterious, magical land to you.

As you weaved through the narrower streets which you had chosen to follow instead of being stuck in traffic, constantly checking the side-view mirrors to make sure they would not graze the brick walls that hid gardens from public view, Nari became interested in your motivations once again, and with one out of pocket query sent you through a giant loop. It was spectacular that you could even continue the journey.

"Are you a gold digger?"

You realised that you had never been interviewed with such intensity before, and with ease deemed the traditional approach almost enjoyable now. At least corporate did not look for you to bare your soul, only, depending on the employer, donate it in instalments.

"Nari, that is not appropriate and -"

"But dad didn't gramma say you have a heart of gold?"

From the windshield mirror you observed Seonghwa's expression instantly soften as he held his daughter tight while you were performing a particularly sharp turn, narrowly avoiding potted plants that someone had decided to leave out on the roadside.

"Thank you, Nari, but-"

"Gramma said it, not me..." Nari stated as a matter of factly, cracking you up while you merged into busier traffic. The cold hard logic spoke to you on a spiritual level and began to show you the little girl in a slightly different, more familiar light.

"But you delivered the nice message to me."

"That gold diggers want to get you?" She shot back at lightning speed, turning her head to peer at what was to be a new residential neighbourhood, though with the modern style of the buildings under construction, it could pass off as a bohemian business centre.

"That according to grandma, I have a heart of gold."

"Oooooh okay! Miss L/N are you a gold-"

"I can tell you; she definitely is not. And what did we talk about?" Seonghwa considered both your lifestyles, and found the term to be the furthest away from the truth – opportunist, maybe, but you would rather go through hell than be financially reliant on someone else. A long while ago, you had explained to him that from the day you had gotten your first pay check, you had set it to be your goal to save and move out permanently, so that you could be in control of your fate and reclaim what you had lost. Judging by your efforts, he had always thought that what you had missed out on was time itself, but that was only a crude hypothesis.

"Per-son-al? Okay… But Eunbi from school said that about her second mom, and I did not like her, she is mean." You wished you could make turns like Nari swerved around conversations. And who knew that the real drama happened in kindergarten? You chose to forget about the accidentally rude judgement and instead listened into the conversation.

"What makes you say that, and when did you meet her?" you nodded, agreeing with the questioning tactic.

"She came to school late and did not greet us and stuff, and I don't like her."  Simple straightforward. Vibe check failed. You were starting to like Nari’s no nonsense approach to evaluating people, though your opinion would probably change in an instant if by horror, you were to end up on the wrong list – this toddler had too much power over your life at that moment, and it was a nightmare.

"Why is that?"

"She did not want to play at all, and was rude to Teacher Hwang and did not hug Eunbi goodbye and-”

“Okay… so what you are telling me, is that how she behaved was out of line, yes?”

“YES, dad, yes! She is a bully. But Eunbi said she is a gold digger so…”

“Do you know what the term means?”

“Is it a meanie?”

“No, it means someone who wants to be friends with someone else for their money.”

“For money? Why?”

“So that they can buy things, worry less about work… basically so they can change the way they live.”

“You should be a gold digger.”

“Are you saying we should change the way we live?” you realised, you would have snapped at right about that point, if not earlier. It was astonishing how Seonghwa was still continuing this conversation and honoured each phrase with full consideration.

“No. You should worry less about work. It makes me sad when dad worries.”

“Aw, Nari, I’m sorry, I don’t want to make you sad. But being with someone else only for money is not something I want to do.”

A sudden guilt floated into your soul, and you felt your chest tighten. What if you were a gold digger in some roundabout way? You were planning on using Seonghwa and his daughter as money bait, after all. Your goal was status, power and financial benefits – what was there that did not spell materialism and succumbing to vices of the earthly realm? Oh, how simple you were – you would not be shocked if Nari could see right through you.

“Then what do you want?” you did not wish to hear the answer, but had to listen.

“Hm… to be with someone for companionship and love.” You swore you saw Seonghwa glance upwards and towards you out of the corner of your eye, but you did not let it show. It could be your personal delusions acting out and giving you more things to be terribly anxious over.

“I love you, dad.” It seemed Nari was not interested in Seonghwa’s per-son-al life, and interpreted his answer as a declaration of paternal affection, which was much easier for your poor heart to take.

“Love you too, my cute princess.”

“Like Princess Leia?”

“Sure, like Princess Leia.”

“Yay…” the exclamation faded into the car’s rumbling as Nari snuggled into her dad’s blazer, practically digging herself under it and scrambling to become a tiny ball. In the few minutes left of the journey, you let yourself enjoy the bliss.

Apparently, Seonghwa ‘looked at you differently’ (a comment which flustered the man to the point where he dropped his keys while unlocking the front door) and ‘you were polite’, so in Nari’s eyes, that deemed you worthy of an invitation into her humble abode, much to Seonghwa’s amusement and hidden giddiness and your utter confusion. Considering the fact that you had been fully prepared for the girl to throw hands at you in the first seconds of meeting, the transition into her diligently explaining every single toy she had, imaginary worlds and being the biggest hypegirl for her father’s crafts while you sat cross-legged beside her, nodding enthusiastically, was surreal.

Unsure of how to approach toddler-level conversation, you took to asking her to elaborate on her decision-making and her strategies when it came to storytelling and crafting her own universes. This turned out to be a hit, as Nari would immediately launch into the largest diversions, passionately describing a chaotic crossover between some anime she had seen, a certain intergalactic franchise and what you gathered was some Pixar movie. While you were struggling to keep up, Nari’s passion was addictive, and motivated you to keep on listening. Soon enough, you were feeding back with your own ideas and innovating, which led to the girl taking a large sheet of paper, crayons and plopping down by the coffee table, beckoning you to take a seat with her so you could draw the ‘cool space monster things together’.

You were grateful that Nari was having fun, since for you, this felt like a never-ending assessment where you were afraid to even breathe wrong. But it could be the case that this approach had allowed you to tap into familiar territory and unlock some of your workplace characteristics instead of the awkward scared mess that you would otherwise act like. Initially, Seonghwa was hovering around you two, observing the interactions and always being ready to step in, for which you were incredibly grateful. But as minutes turned to hours, and Nari was completely immersed in play and your blazer was long hanging on a chair to not get doodled on, he disappeared into the kitchen to fix up an early dinner.

“What colour do you think Pow-pow’s fur should be?” you asked, using all your strength to remain serious.

“Orange.”

“Orange?”

“Yes. Mm. Orange.”

“Cool.” You reached for the appropriate crayon and began to colour in said monster’s fur. According to Nari, this one liked to eat sweet things and was really neat – you pretended to not know where inspiration for those preferences came from.

“Y/N?” about an hour ago Nari took to addressing you by your first name, initially approaching the matter with heart-melting shyness that made you accept this change in a split second.

“Yeah? What’s up, Nari?”

“Do you like dad?” the deafening clatter of pots and plates from the kitchen suggested you had an audience, causing a light blush to rise on your cheeks. The problem with kids was no matter what you said, they would not give up until you either said the truth, or tired them out with your verbal writhing, and you most certainly did not have the energy for the latter.

“Uh… yes. Sure, I do! He is very nice, so I do like him.” each word weighing heavy on your tongue, you let them fall to the floor, along with your composure. Nari could not mean much more than what a standard kid perceived liking to be, right?

On the same sites where you had read about the theory of development you had seen a separate discussion of natural egocentrism, narcissistic behaviours and 'me' tendencies that toddlers manifested as they grew up and started to gain tid-bits of independence. So, Nari hopefully meant mere mutual tolerance and your shared ability to play with her. Short-lived ponderings, much like all others that you had been having during your interactions with this magnificent, bright mind in a tiny body.

“He is very nice… You are very nice too. I like your drawings. I like that you like him, too.” the purposeful scrubbing noise that sounded like Seonghwa attacking dishes in the sink ceased, and a metaphorical spotlight was turned on you. You had been unable to come up with a better word to use to describe the man, but it appeared to be a spectacular selection for his daughter.

“You are very kind, Nari. Thank you for… you know. Playing with me?” you stated, though your choice of words made you cringe. For someone well-versed in the art of double speak and slithering out of the grasp of uncomfortable questions during profit and loss review meetings, you were a disaster when discussing banal feelings, turning to rumination for false support.

But the smile that Nari gave you, stellar and trusting, eliminated most, if not all concern from your heart. You held back a gasp as you noticed Seonghwa's daughter getting shy, squeezing her shoulders in and letting out a quiet giggle, whispering a soft "you're really really really nice...". You did not notice Seonghwa had stepped out, and was leaning against the frame of the sliding glass door with his arms crossed. He was still wearing a bright, polka dot apron, though even that was clean aside from one tiny splatter, and held a serene demeanour. The scene that had unfolded before him, with you and Nari huddled together and living in your own world was better than any artistic masterpiece. Nothing would ever be able to deliver the same level of impact as the acceptance that you two offered one another. All this time, Seonghwa had been afraid of judgement, and that was the biggest reason why he had started venturing out to reconnect with people from the past only now. To an extent, his behaviour could be labelled as selfish - he was not in the right state of mind nor life conditions, and as such he removed himself from multiple social circles and concentrated his efforts on going through a necessary metamorphosis. And now, to see you specifically, interacting with the centre of his universe - his daughter, and much to his and likely your surprise, finding common ground, was leaving him misty-eyed.

“Please make him less worried.” Nari's request was simple, but so hard to achieve.

Your heart sank as you pondered what you had just proposed to Seonghwa that morning. You had been honest, laid down all your cards, but skipped out on the terms and conditions. Fixated on the benefits, which were not even guaranteed, you did not see risk in Seonghwa's quick agreement. So, all there was left was to accept the possibility of ending up being the bad guy, and all that came with the journey to your grand finale.

“I… I’ll try my best.”

Fortunately for you, Nari was not the type to pinkie promise or ask a million times if someone really meant what they said. She was beautifully oblivious to the spectrum of evil out there. You refrained from expressing how you perceived yourself then: as the girl's first proper evil. One she did not even know about, and using her still limited vocabulary, ended up deeming 'nice'. Were you vile? The question plagued you, and yet you still got up and followed Nari's lead to the table when Seonghwa had announced that food was ready. There were too many variables. Too many unknowns. But only one charming gentleman pushing the chair out for you. One sincere expression of gratitude for being with a little girl and giving her so much joy. And what looked to be one happy family, sat at a dinner table, chatting about everything and nothing as minutes steeped in comfort, safety and true homeliness flew by. So, this was what such a life was supposed to feel like.

[spaceagebachelormann]

being the st. cassian chamber choir members younger sibling

pairing: st. cassian chamber choir x gn reader (platonic)

warnings: swearing and mentions of violence

a/n: inspired by a conversation @juneberrie and i had <3

masterlist

Ocean O’Connell Rosenburg

babies you

literally refers to you as “the baby” to the rest of the choir

“sorry guys i have to go pick up the baby!”

also she keeps you away from your parents at all times

makes you lunch because she knows they’ll give you a cheese sandwich made from human breast milk…

her sandwiches are normal cheese!!

anf also gives you apple juice

she loves you sm and is very overprotective, sending mischa to destroy anyone who bothers you

Noel Gruber

acts like he’s annoyed by you

(he is not, will literally kill for you and secretly loves you v much but obviously he’s never gonna tell you that)

calls you little dumbass

would switch between being nice to you and being mean

“good morning you stinky ass hoe! you look great” <3

forbids you from doing any reckless without him

ocean would definitely try to befriend you

Mischa Bachinksi

THE overprotective brother

can and will murder someone for you

upset over something? someone will be mysteriously disappearing tonight

head pats are a thing

when he walks past you best believe he’s patting your head

you sleep in the basement with him because his parents were ready for toddlers, not you two

yes you know about talia no you haven’t met her no you don’t know if she’s real

he also plans to take you back to the ukraine with him <33

Ricky Potts

you hear random star trek music and the cats musical from his room at like around 2am

invites you to watch with him

a good brother <33 looks out for you and probably gets the choir too

i don’t think hed open up to you about zolar until your like 13 or you find a notebook filled with it and force him to explain

has like a 6th sense and somehow knows when your upset

and he barged into your room like “what’s wrong and do i have to send penny after someone”

speaking of penny she LOVES you

your older sister figure

Jane Doe/Penny Lamb

the best sister ever

gives you piggy back rides

the choir will be waiting for her before rehearsals and she just has this child on her back

“uh… who’s your friend?” “this is my sibling y/n”

ricky comes over a lot so you get close with him

he can’t give you piggy back rides but he gives penny little things to give to you

she doesn’t have a licence but she takes you to get ice cream everyday

would buy you the whole stand if you asked

Constance Blackwood

helps you with hw <3

if you can’t figure something out or just give up she bribes you with sweets to make you finish it

it works every time

a movie lover and will binge watch anything with you

also gets you into a lot of fandoms

cough httyd cough

a trolls 2 fan and gives you the most SERIOUS FACE EVER when you make a pinkie promise with her

it’s actually scary

taglist: @phoneymedic @juneberrie @starlit-epiphany @presidentroarie

[ceasarslegion]

Im thinking of keira again oh no

She was so incredibly smart that she stopped fighting us on taking her painkillers when she realized that her joints would stop hurting if she ate the weird pill in her dinner too instead of spitting it out

And one time she ate an entire box of 24 wax candles after meticulously opening the box they came in, and then somehow put the box back on the counter as if we wouldnt notice the CANDLES WERE GONE

She was trained incredibly well, never barked unless something startled her or she was telling someone to knock it off, was very gentle with everybody, even let little toddlers win tug of war with her (when she was a viciously powerful tugger who refused to lose with the grown ups). She even had her own little language. There was distinct difference in her playing growls and her angry or warning growls. She would play bite while wrestling but would never bite down, just a little hold in her mouth. If she bit by accident at all she would stop immediately and lick you all over the place she bit by mistake to say sorry, and we taught her the phrase "im sorry" for when we accidentally bumped into or stepped on her so she never took it personally and would go right back to sunbathing instead of looking at you with betrayal. She also liked to go with my little sister to play so that she could protect her, only to end up stealing the neighbourhood kids tennis balls and bringing them home because they were her favourite ball to play fetch with. Thief! Thief!

She loved the smell of babies and would poke her snoot into strollers to go sniffsniffsniff at them, and then would like to make them laugh by licking their little faces.

She also loved water so much, because she was a lab. We never had any trouble bathing her because she heard the shower go and would perk up like "for me??? Water for me????? Bath time???? :D" and jump right in. I used to take her out to the beach that was right where we lived in abu dhabi to go swimming together. She loved to run in the sand and jump in the water with all my high school friends and i. And then we would towel dry her as best we could and let her lay on her beach towel with her toys while we uh, totally legally drank at the correct age to do so and generally did high school boy things.

She loved cats. Absolutely adored cats. She played nicely with them and always wanted to be friends. The neighbourhood strays did not appreciate this as much. Many times happened where she approached a stray with "play? Friend??" dog body language, only to get hissed at and then look at me with big sad eyes like "why wont it be my friend? 🥺" she hated other dogs though. She never ever liked other dogs. We think something may have happened with another dog before we got her. She had this best friend in a neighbourhood stray who always came to visit our backyard and would like, politely sit there like it was asking if keira could come out and play. Keira would always run up to wherever we were with her tail wagging and lead us to the yard where the cat was sitting. They played so nicely together, theyd usually take turns chasing each other in circles and then lay down together when they got tuckered out.

Obviously i walked her on a leash but she never needed one, she would never stray out of our sight. She also loved stuffed animals, just to cuddle with. She had the giant ikea dog that she carried around with her everywhere and it got so stinky with dog drool that whenever we washed it she would sit in front of the washer and dryer and pout for the rest of the day. It was her favourite toy and definitely a comfort object. Every other toy she destroyed on sight in typical labrador fashion, but not stuffed animals.

She also had her chair. It was a black leather recliner that was her chair. She always hopped on it and curled up and took naps on it. She loved her chair, it was her main spot and came with us throughout every move we made with her because she loved it so much. It was the perfect proportion for a dog of her size to curl up in the seat of and rest her head on the arm of like a pillow. My parents said they couldnt bring themselves to get rid of keiras chair until nearly a year after we had to put her down

She had such a rich life for a pup that started as a rescue from an abusive owner. She saw multiple continents and multiple countries, made so many new friends, explored more of the world with her nose than most humans do in their lifetimes, and made so many fun memories.

I couldnt be there when she died. I was in my last year of uni about to graduate on the other side of the world. I kinda knew it was coming though, thats why i took a video of the last walk i took her on before i flew back to toronto that semester. You dont spend 16 years growing up alongside a dog without kinda knowing intuitively when these things are about to happen. I miss her a lot though, and i wanna get a tattoo of a black lab swimming at some point because of how much she loved to swim.

She was the best dog i ever could have grown up with, and no other will ever compare to her or replace her for me. I hope one day i'll be healed enough to take another pup into my life, but im still in the process of moving on from her. Its been a really long and arduous grief period that i feel isnt gonna let up for a while yet.

[likeawolfatthemoon]

out of all the exotic pets you can only keep in Florida(yes the one from the news) which would you have? (Bats, sloth, New Guinea singing dog, deer, Asian Leopard cat, Marmoset, Fox, Squirrel , Skunk, Raccoon, Tiger) 2. When was you last seance?

shshjdksskkk florida (yes the one from the news) KILLED ME

this is actually so hard bc I love so many of these!!! LOVE bats but i don't think I'm prepared to care for a flying animal, LOVE tigers but I'm not ready to take on the physical, financial, spatial, etc etc etc responsibilities of that one. top choices beyond that would be fox, raccoon, and asian leopard cat. we'll eliminate asian leopard cat first bc of its endangered status, the fact that it would have to be imported (I do not support this), and that it would be dangerous to live free with my domestic cat and I am not about to cage an animal. fox and raccoon are a pretty even split bc they're both domestic to the us, as well as able to be domesticated (to an extent). my choice is raccoon tho bc i just love those lil buggers and their tiny thief hands and hearts of mischief. ive also watched lots of youtubers who keep raccoons as pets alongside their cats and they get along, can be free in the house (with supervision mostly bc they love a mess - same as you wouldn't leave a toddler alone lmao), can be litterbox trained, and enjoy a lot of the same climbing/physical play as cats which I already have set up. I would just need to incorporate some more variety of food and a lot lot lot of enrichment/problem solving/puzzle toys. (yes this is something i have thought about a lot lmaooooo) (also skunks are cute as well and i know you can have their stinky bits removed and my ~situationship's~ mom actually kept one as a pet for a long time so he could hack it with a pet skunk, but I just find my top three cuter and cuteness is obviously the biggest factor 😂😂😂)

as for a seance, i have never participated in one!!! someone please invite me to your seance immediately

[thatyamiguy-blog]

Mommies little wimp (Ben 10)

It was a summer of action and adventures, and the Tennyson family battled monsters, aliens and villains and saved the world more then once. using a combination of experience, magic and a alien device to turn into aliens it was a summer that would never be forgotten. But this story isn't about the Tennyson's who went on that wild summer, this story is about Ben Tennyson, who still wasn't potty trained (and honestly his mother had given up hopes he ever would be) and who due to his meekness and nature as a world class scardy cat, had elected to stay with mommy and daddy, though mostly close to his mom. with a layer of chub that made him look like a over sized toddler from a lack of exercise and being spoiled with lots of treats from his mom, and sporting a shorter version of anther Ben's trademark white and black shirt..this Ben was rocking thick white and black diapers that were custom made because of how often the little wuss was going. This little wuss had just waved off Gwen and Gramps and then went back to watching paw patrol.

On the same day when Gwen would be using her magic and Max would be going four arms to fight off Hex and Charmcaster, Ben was being woken up in his room/nursery by his mom and sitting up in his race car bed, Yawning loudly and his paw patrol PJ top lift up as he stretched his arms. "Did you have a good sleep sweetie?" She asked, reaching over and turning off his baby monitor, having already unplugged the 3 night lights he used every night. "Yeah! I had a dream I was a pretty princess playing with puppies and this dragon came up but he was all scared and just wanted hugs so I gave them to him" Ben giggled, tossing his Superhero squad blanket back and getting a whiff from his ripe diaper, bloated around his hips and with more then tinkle. "Ewww! stinky!" Ben said, holding his nose but giggling, again reinforcing the image his mother had of him that he might technically be 10..but he was clearly 2..maybe 3 in all the ways it counted. "heh, it's not that bad. You've done worse. wanna waddle over to your changing table or want mommy to carry you?" His mom asked, already knowing what he'd pick but she liked to give him a choice now and then with little things. (it didn't help his wusseness that his mom was VERY over protective of Ben, to the point of homeschooling him because she didn't want the bullies at school to tease him) As expected Ben giggled and held out his arms and She picked him up, a hand going under his squishy butt and making him giggle and patting his back as she carried him over. He thought the fact he like to squish in his stinky diapers was a big secret from everyone but both his parents knew it and so did anyone brave enough to babysit him.   (not that his mom trusted Ben with anyone outside of the family, and even then, NOT Gwen after she had reduced Ben to tears and given him nightmares for a week by singing the itsy bitsy spider.) Gently setting him down, she handed him Officer bear, one of his favorite stuffies (She had toyed with getting him a sumo slammer stuffie till she watched the show and deemed it too scary for Ben, and Ben who took momma's word as law agreed despite never watching it) "Can I have a paci please mommy?" Ben asked, batting his eyes like he was asking for a ice cream treat for breakfast and just making her gush at how sweet and cute he was. "Of course you can! what color little man?" She coo'd, tickling his tummy and pulling open the drawer with the pacifiers. "Ummm You pick! they taste better then you do!" Ben coo'ed Kicking his legs a little. His mom smirked at that, but he was the 'boss' so to speak and pulled out a baby blue one, popping it in his eager mouth and he suckled away while holding his teddy above him, mumbling around the paci to his bear. One stinky diaper clean up later, and the 'treasure' dropped into Ben's diaper pail (which had been labeled Ben's Treasure chest) and she had him off of the changing table and tugged off his PJ top. Taking his hand and leading the way, the made their way to the dinning room so Benny could have num nums. (his bedroom was on the ground floor because Ben was scared of heights and claimed to get dizzy when he was on the second floor) There was no point in dressing him till he ate, and they only changed his diaper because the aroma from his huggies affected how breakfast tasted. His daddy was already at work and so it would be just Ben and mommy all day, something he preferred if he was being honest though he did like playing with daddy, sometimes he was too rough. Helped up into his custom high chair and strapped in, Ben kicked his legs and sucked on his paci as his mom went and brought in a big bowl of oatmeal, with little bits of different cookies crumbled and spread all over and a large baby bottle of milk. She had left the choice of baby bottles or sippy cups up to Ben, but they both knew normal cups were out of the question and after trying both he'd settled for the baby bottles because the nipples were better then the hard plastic. Tugging the paci out of his mouth his mom smiled and got a bib tried around his neck, white with multiple colored baby blocks spelling out 'mommy's widdle boy' on it. "So does Benny wanna try and feed himself today, or want me to feed him again?" His mom asked, coo'ing and a hand on a chair to pull it over having a feeling on the answer again. "Uhh Mommy, are you feeling ok?" Ben asked, raising a eyebrow. "Of course I want you to feed me! You make it taste like.. a zillion times better! a zillion plus TWO!" Ben said and held up three fingers to illistate his point, numbers wasn't his strong suit. His mom just smirked and pulled the chair over, sitting down and then getting a bigggg spoon full of the nummies ready. "Open wide~" she coo'ed, moving the spoon in and Ben giggled and did as he was told, then as the spoon went in he closed his mouth around it and and mmmhmed as he nom'ed away. "So i was thinking Benny, do you wanna go down the the park today?" He mom asked, still feeding him. Like all her other questions she knew the answer and maybe this was a little bit mean of her to ask, but she couldn't help it, the look of fear on his face mid bite and then the loud muffled poot was just TOO adorable! with his cheeks puffed out with oatmeal baby Ben shook his head no and shut his eyes, shuddering and more poots followed as he seemed to get slightly taller in the high chair and a familiar smell filled the room. "Benny, did you go boom boom?" She asked in a loving voice, setting the spoon down and stoking his hair. Ben swallowed the nummies in his mouth and then then nodded. "Of course I did! Mommy! you know how scary the p-p-park is!" He whined, a hissing sound hear and more muffled poots, though he didn't get any taller this time from a mess. "oh, it must of slipped my mind. Mommies can be SO silly sometimes!" She said and leaned in, kissing his forehead and calming him down slowly. "Forgive mommy?" "hehe..Of course! after all, all you did was make a 'nther. " and Ben paused to blow a raspberry, getting some spittle on his mom. "Diapie that you hafa change!" he finished and giggled madly, wiggling his butt and squishing the mess all around, making it all nice and squishy and making it a nightmare to change. "heh, that's fair." Mom said, wiping her face with the sleeve of her shirt and then picking up the baby bottle. "Drink?" "It's like your psychic!" Ben coo'ed and opened his mouth, then wrapping his lips around the nipple and sucking eagerly, eyes closing, then going wide and pulling back, making a icky face and shuddering as he pooted. "Mommy! that's not strawberry! It's normal milk! too spicy!" Ben huffed. His mother giggled at that, only BEN would find plain 2 percent white milk spicy, and again it had been one of her meaner moments. "Ohhh did I forget to add the syrup again? I'm sorry buddy!" She said, though anyone with half a brain would hear she didn't mean it. Naturally Ben brought it hook line and stinker. "-sigh- it's ok mommy, please go and fix it..and just so you know, i'ma have the FARTS t'day now!" He warned. 'how is that different from any other day?' his mom thought, but then said out loud. "it's ok buddy. I know it's my fault. sit tight and don't go anywhere." She coo'ed making Ben giggle. "Mommy, I'm in a high chair, where am I gonna go? to the moon?" he laughed then thought about being up in space and well, got a little taller. "MOMMMMYYYY!" Ben wailed.

After finishing off his breakfast and getting a much needed diaper change, Ben was dressed in his trademark diapers and t-shirt and socks, having decided to stay inside for a bit after scaring himself silly during breakfast. So scared was Ben that he refused to just sit on the couch or on the floor, he either wanted mommy to sit down with him so he could sit in her lap and be protected or he wanted what he called his fortress. Said fortress was a larger then normal playpen that Ben and mommy had fallen in love with then they had seen it while out shopping (Daddy had been taken back by the price tag but with his wife and son saying please over and over again he'd caved) it wasn't set up all the time as some days Benny would lay on his tummy and color in hello kitty or paw patrol books on the floor or lay on the couch for a nap or even again sit in mommies lap but today, she was gonna be busy cleaning. Getting the playpen set up in the right spot could be tricky as well, as it had to be in a spot where Ben could somewhat try and keep a eye out for her in case he got lonely,   It also had to be within view of the TV where his mom would have it streaming episodes of Paw patrol, Hello Kitty, Bob the builder but after the diaper blowout from a few weeks ago harry and his bucket full of dinosaurs was cut out. The final challenge for setting it up was the fact it had to be in a spot with just enough light where Ben wouldn't get scared, but not TOO much light or it would make shadows and again, scare him. Hoping she'd found the sweet spot Ben's mom helped the oversized toddler into the playpen, mentally joking that with him being a little butter ball she didn't have to worry about going to the gym, and then handed him in his teddy from before, some soft baby blocks to play with, a pack of non toxic crayon's and a Sesame street coloring book that had any pages with a monster on it ripped out (So had maybe 3 pages) and then a fresh ba-ba. "Please tell me you got it right this time." Ben said, farting loudly to get his point across. "Yes sir, I used extra syrup!" His mom said, holding the bottle out for him and he started to take it, then smiled. flipping the bottle around in her hand, he got on his knees and drank from it while she was leaning over the playpen. She wanted to complain that she had things to do, but damn it if he wasn't just too darn cute. Still after he got it half drained she had to speak up. "Benny sweetie, I need to go and start cleaning, can you show me what a good little boy you are and hold your own ba-ba?" She asked. Ben paused from his suckling and pulled off, giving a huff and a eye roll like he had all of the worlds worst problems, but then took the bottle from her. "I 'pose." He said, plopping on butt and apparently hitting some sort of trigger as he let out a MASSIVE belch and even blew his mom's hair back a little from the force of it. of course while most boys Ben's age or even the age he acted would of been giggling or all proud, the burp had a different effect on our little wuss. His eyes shot wide then he cried out 'mommy!' as a massive poot followed and the back of his diaper got a wave of mush in the back of it. "Shhh, it's ok Benny. I'm right here." She coo'ed, leaning back down and then tugging the back of his diaper open and checking. For a normal baby it would of been full enough for a change but with Ben being such a super duper pooper it wasn't all that bad. "I think your diapie can handle some more. Just color me a pretty picture and watch your cartoons." She coo'ed and then ruffled his hair and turned the tv on. "O-Ok mommy." Ben mewed.

for the next half hour or so all was calm in the Tennyson household was mostly quiet, save for Ben talking alone with his TV show's and a burp or fart here and there. Cleaning the house took longer then it could of since she had to go without using any sort of cleaning equipment that ran on a motor/made noise since well, it would scare Ben, and as such they had long since switched from carpets to hardwood flooring. Still accidents could and still did happen, such as when while she was dusting by the TV she accidentally knocked cords free and Ben's show stopped right in the middle of a big dramatic moment. Despite having seen this episode multiple times, Ben's jaw dropped down and his eyes went wide, sure that it meant that his beloved hero's had just bit the big one and gone up to the dog park in the sky. "NOO! CHASE! RUBBLE! ROCKY! ALEX!" he cried out, tears streaming down as he was up on his knee, at the edge of the play pen and looking over, massively loud and wet farts blasting out and his diaper bloating out rapidly. sweat dropping and trying not to roll her eyes, Ben's mom rushed to get everything plugged back in and as the episode came back on right from where it left off she came over and pulled him out of the playpen, hugging him and letting him watch it over her shoulder as she patted his back and squished his bottom. "Shhh shh..See? they're ok Benny." "I..I..-sniffle- I was so scared they were GONE mommy!" Ben bawled like the big baby he was. "Well there back now. it's all right. let's pause this and get you changed little man, I don't think your diapie is gonna take much more punishment." She said. she had gone from rubbing his butt to getting her arm under it to support him as he semi relaxed, not wanting to risk him falling out of her arms and as he finished filling his diaper it had both kept going under her forearm and overlapped the top pat of it, almost forming a semi seal around it. "Nooo! wanna finish and make sure their ok!" Ben whined and whimpered. "P-Please mommy?" He asked, and pushed back enough so that he could give her a pleading look with his tear stained cheeks and trembling bottom lip. "..Ok. but Mommy better hold you, don't wanna have a blow out in your fortress right?" she sighed and asked. there was only 10 minutes left anyways. "Thank you mommy! your the best mommy ever! whatever you say!" Ben coo'ed and planted and big old drooly smooch on her cheek before going back to watching. 'And Carl thinks I have it easy staying home with Benny all day.' She mused to herself.

After the show was over and one LONG diaper change later, Ben's mom decided that she would put off the rest of the cleaning till after Ben was put down for his afternoon nap. Getting a blanket on the floor she sat down with him to play whatever he wanted, and wasn't shocked when it turned out to be paw patrol, with her as Alex and Ben as the doggies. Thankfully she had watched the show with him or heard enough of it in passing to play along with ease and they went that way for at least a hour before Ben's tummy was growling loudly. "Uh-oh, I think somebody needs some more fuel for his little present maker!" She teased, tapping a finger on his tummy. "What do you think kiddo?" Ben, who due to his constant diaper filling and well, being trained for lack of a better word to eat lots hence explaining his flab, drooled and nodded. "Oh Oh! can I grilled cheese french toast sandwich?" he asked, licking his lip, having a .. odd taste in his food combo's, again coming from getting what ever his little heart desired. "oh I suppose so, But I better get you a snack while I make it for you. don't want you wasting away." She teased, helping Ben up and then holding his hand as they to get him into his highchair. Strapped in nice and safe and in just his diapers and socks, Ben used his fingers to snack on a bowl of vanilla and chocolate pudding mixed together as his mom started cooking for him, and of course he had a fresh ba-ba of strawberry milk on the tray for him to drink. and naturally, by the time his sandwich's were done (She knew that he would want more then one and thus had made 3) at least half of the pudding was on his face,body and hair, Ben having just finished drawing a smiley face on his tummy and grinning like a goof. "Look! I made you a picture!" he coo'ed, all proud. "heh, VERY pretty but I don't think I can hang it on the fridge." She giggled and set the plate down with his food cut up and cooled and smooched his forehead. "Why not!?" Ben huffed and pouted, then it clicked and he giggled sheepishly. "Oh yeah. never mind!" "heh, see? I know my little guy would figure it out!"

After lunch Ben clearly needed a bath, but since it had been awhile since his last poop filled diaper his mom wasn't eager to just sit him in the tub and have him 'launch torpedo's' as Ben called it. At the urging of her husband she semi toyed with trying to potty train Ben even though everyone knew it was hopeless, and by try that meant that they had a training potty in Ben's size that he could sit on while unloading in his diapers to get used to sitting on the potty and going. Baby steps after all was the way to go. Ben thought it was a waste of his time plush he thought the potty kinda looked like a monster, though when he'd expressed this fear to his dad he'd been told to show a little back bone for a change. still, it was with a trembling bottom lip that Ben planted his diapered butt down on the light blue training potty, closing his eyes and slipping his food stained thumb in his mouth and sucking on it lots as mommy started the tub running. The sound of the water running did help the wuss relax as he always like the white noise and well, when your a chubby 10 year old diaper wimp relaxing can only lead to one thing. a loud fart shot out of Ben's butt, the Potty making it semi echo and the noise scared Ben, his eyes popping open even as his fear made him fire out more poop and farts in a viscous circle. His diaper was swelling up but in a odd twist of fate unlike how it normally happened, with it just going around the potty chair, today some of it went in and expanded in there. "Ah! mommy!" Ben cried out,whimpering and tearing up. "The potty is roaring at me!" "Heh, Benny it's just your far-" his mom started, turning and looking. Ben went to get up to turn and point to the potty, but with his diaper having gone in and expanded on the inside, it stayed latched on and his eyes went wide as saucers. "IT'S TRYING TO EAT ME! MOMMY HELP!" He screamed falling down on all fours and crawling around in circles, shaking his butt and trying to get the potty to dislodge as his mother watched on in amusement. 'I should be filming this, I'd win America's funniest home videos for sure.' She thought with a mental snort. walking over and kneeling down, she used one arm to grab Ben around the belly and then with free hand she yanked hard on the potty, pulling it free from his stinky butt. "Shhh there there, I-" she started, but Ben cut her off and squirmed around, turning around and on his knees hugging her and smothering her with kisses as he bawled, bawling out thank you's and gushing about how much he loved his monster slayer mommy. '..I really should tell him it wasn't a monster..but what the heck...' she thought and returned the hug, knowing she'd have to change her shirt after this. "Heh, that's me, Professional monster slayer, diaper changer and chef supreme." she coo'ed as Ben sobbed and nodded.

Bath time was more tricky then normal, since after being so scared and pooping so much, Ben was worn out and kept semi conking out and his mom had to stay on him and keep him from trying to curl up in the warm water. add onto that with him so sleepy it was a fight to get him to raise his arms and the like and it took longer then normal but at least it was worth it as she soon had a fresh and clean little guy. cradling him in her arms he was Basically asleep before she even got him to his room and diapered, it was clearly nap time. Not bothering with PJ's for the nap (it would of been next to impossible to get him in them with him this conked out) she tucked him into his toddler bed and planted a smooch on his forehead before handing him one of his stuffies, watching him snuggle into it and smile, a thumb popping into his mouth. lightly tugging the thumb out she replaced it with a paci then after making sure that the baby monitor was on and drawing his curtains shut, tiptoed out of the room. Ben just suckled on his paci, hugged his teddy and to the shock of no one who knew him, was filling the room with farts seconds later.

[garthcelyn]

Action shot of my horrible bastard baby slapping me for suggesting she needs to get out the bath <3

[goldencored-arc]

queue’d up some replies!! still have a few memes in my inbox but i’m v. tired. the joys of a 9hr manual labor job. i love these cats tho so.

[iwa-ch4n]

kaeya as a dad;

no listen kaeya is such a soft dad you don't understand

he's not one to cry much, especially not from happiness, but it came close the first time he held his baby girl. you could see his eyes get watery and his voice crack a little when he cooed at her

he's actually captivated by her. even when she's sleeping peacefully in the cot beside your bed, he will just lay there and stare at her with this sappy smile until he finally passes out

KING of calming the baby down. his voice is soothing and his arms are comfortable, he can stop her crying in minutes unless she want to be breast fed

however he will inform you that she's hungry by saying "babe, the child wants boobs"

super super super good at playing with her. tickles her loads and when she gets older he is strong enough to just. let her climb all over him or throw her in the air effortlessly (you get nervous every time but trust him, he's got it under control. he has not dropped the child once yet)

she has no choice but to be an absolute daddys girl. he would give the world for her and spoils her fucking rotten. her first word was "papa" and that time he did cry

okay he would absolutely call her dumb nicknames similar to what people call their cats. 'stinky', 'little devil' and 'rascal' are all very common. once when she was like 6 months old she threw up on him and he called her a bastard out of instinct. you heard, which is why it was only once

okay no but imagine kaeya has a day off so he takes her for a day out in mondstadt and its just. so fuckin cute. ice cream from good hunter, splashing in the fountain, popping in to angels share to annoy diluc, who doesnt want to swear or get too mad bc there is a child

as much as he is amazing at taking care of her, you're with her most of the time because he has a lot of work to do with the knights. however, if she ever completely wears you out, he will insist on taking her to work with him and letting you have a day for yourself.

that's how he ends up at a very important captains meeting with a toddler on his knee, bouncing her up and down and making her little origami animals to keep her occupied and relatively quiet

its also how the new recruits working under him go to speak to their rather intimidating boss and go into his office to find him on the floor with her giggling on top of him and yanking at his ponytail

he would absolutely have play fights with her, using sticks as swords, and let her win, falling dramatically to the ground and groaning in defeat

he's become even more of a babysitting pro for klee now so he is more than happy to look after both at once. klee is an amazing big sister but you have to watch them all closely just so kaeya doesnt allow any bombs around your two year old

HE TAKES HER TO ANGEL'S SHARE WHEN ITS STILL RELATIVELY EARLY AND DANCES WITH HER TO THE SONGS THE BARDS SING (then he takes her home and goes back on his own to get drunk)

whenever he puts her to bed, instead of reading her bedtime stories, he will tell her stories of his various adventures and whatever (which are greatly edited to be more child appropriate and then embellished so they're still interesting)

i absolutely think she would look up to him lots and when she gets older he would start training her properly because she wants to be able to fight just like him

jousting with wooden swords and he lets her win less often now, but she's a fast learner and becomes pretty damn skilled for her age

you have to be hard on her sometimes because he absolutely will not. he's too whipped for her. could never say no to her. you absolutely come home sometimes to find him squeezed into a tutu skirt with kids makeup and a tiara, sitting at her little play table having a tea party

also they have the conversation "daddy, can i have a cookie" "what's the rule?" ":(( no cookies until after dinner" "no, thats mums rule. my rule is to bring me one too"

he just all around loves her so much and sometimes he'll just be watching her and turn to you and be like "hey do you want to make another one of these?". its up to you to figure out whether he's been hit with soft dad feels or if he's just horny

all in all he spoils her and is an amazing dad and i love him so much

tag; @kaeya-alberich-official

[luwupercal]

Idea: The primarchs being handed a small baby with the words "Hey can you hold her for a bit?"

lion: holds her like you'd hold a small animal

fulgrim: holds the baby with one hand against his shoulder, like he's holding the strap of a backpack. the baby keeps sliding up his shoulder until eventually the position brings more to mind someone carring a basket on their shoulder

perturabo: knows how to hold a baby. mostly in theory but it works out

khan: spins the baby over 360º before holding her properly, making the baby a little dizzy but mostly fine

leman: doesn't understand that the baby is too young to ride on his shoulders, mostly has experience with young children or toddlers rather than outright babies. this is an elaborate setup for a joke and the punchline is my headcanon that most of the women he dates are proper cougary pta-age milfs who aren't planning on having more kids

rogal dorn: yeah sure rogal dorn could hold a baby. it's kind of a dad-like uncle-y hold though so he has like big old hairy arms and he's not acting very cozy towards the baby so the baby probably doesn't like that much

konrad curze: holds the baby by the scruff of its neck like a cat, but like, from his hand. like salt bae pinching the neck of a kitten. don't give konrad a baby

sanguinius: is made to hold babies fairly regularly but isn't sure how to hold them for extended periods of time. might shift the baby around a bit or rock her a little. the only reason he's the one to rock the baby and not fulgrim is bc fulgrim is used to fidgeting without a baby and would forget to shift to a baby-appropriate fidgeting movement, sanguinius doesn't fidget as much bc it's more effort for him (more limbs) so the rocking is very slow and careful and on purpose

ferrus manus: holds the baby in one hand. like opens up his hand and puts the baby sitting on top and just carries her like a waiter with a big old dish plate

angron: does not accept the baby. if you shove a baby at him he will let you drop it. does not like holding babies, does not trust himself holding babies, does not trust you for handing him a baby. the baby is literally none of his business

guilliman: knows how to hold the baby. might assume you want him to kiss its head, which he's used to people asking him, so, sure

mortarion: i have no idea why you would hand mortarion a baby. i feel like he'd try to position her as far away from him as possible if he had to hold a baby. like holding it like you might hold a very stinky or dirty thing. just because he's kind of aware that he's got a toxic miasma inhaler and that's not really good for babies

magnus: knows how to hold a baby in theory and it does not work out as much as perturabo. will definitely fidget around with the baby a bunch. a way more spontaneous rocking than sanguinius. can be soft, and will definitely coo a little at the baby. not a bad bet for baby holding overall, you could do a lot worse. idk as a parent himself but magnus would be possibly the coolest babysitter you could get your child

horus: gives your baby a big wet smack and then carries it around in the most efficient way he finds. not the best holder and his rocking of the baby is more akin to jostling but very enthusiastic about being handed a baby. likes babies. babies don't like him

lorgar: i have absolutely NO idea if lorgar has ever held a baby. i'm paging @horuslupercal for ho arai reasons on this one

vulkan: holds the baby fairly normally but gets a little distracted by how cute it is. might accidentally wake up a sleeping baby with his cooing. very good overall though

corvus corax: puts the baby down. just like, on the closest surface

alpharius omegon: depends on approximately five billion factors. know how to hold a baby. might think it's better to drop it. who knows

[curiousb]

The Tilney Family Album: Volume I

Another day, another family - this time it’s Mary Bennet’s older sister Lizzy, and her beloved, Henry Tilney.

I wonder why Lizzy is feeling so tired during the day?

Oh, that’ll be why.

With a baby on the way, it’s definitely time to make this more official (they’ve both had a want to get engaged to each other since their second date).

Moonshine the neighbourhood cat checks out the family as potential adopters.

Henry, if you want to become a doctor, you’ll have to get over being squeamish!

It’s a boy! They name the stinky little bundle Bennet Tilney.

Moonshine surveys his potential kingdom.

Hmm, that hair will have to go! Dad’s eyes, I think.

Bennet’s toddler stats:

~ Gemini 4 / 3 / 9 / 6 / 6

~ Adventurous / Athletic

Bennet is very shortly joined by a younger brother - meet Jasper Tilney!

Henry Tilney is the ultimate dad! Not just playing with his baby sons at every opportunity, but cheerfully getting stuck into nappy changing too. (I’m really not surprised.)

He also looks cute in his scrubs. Just saying.

Moonshine continues his adoption campaign, now targeting the youngest members of the family.

He even tries to show just how useful he could be around the house, helping to clear up puddles.

Yo, little dude! Bennet is lost in his own world.

We want none of your baseless bragging around here, Frank Churchill!

Jasper really doesn’t take to potty training, poor little chap!

~ Aquarius 6 / 7 / 7 / 5 / 10

~ Brave / Friendly

Someone is excited to grow up! Definitely dad’s eyes.

Now that he’s old enough to wield a skipping rope, Bennet can finally get stuck into his fitness regime.

~ Gemini 4 / 3 / 9 / 6 / 6

~ Adventurous / Athletic / Bookworm

~ OTH: Fitness

~ Favourite Colour(s): Red  / Orange / Blue

[rottenbrainstuff]

Man so I have to say it, hate me and send me anon hate and whatever you want but I’m getting so tired:

I’m getting a lot of suggested childfree posts on Instagram. I have absolutely no idea why. No matter how many times I click not interested these will not fucking go away and it’s irritating.

I really don’t give two shits about whether people want to or do not want to have kids, I really do not. But “childfree” as a Thing is just so fucking weird to me. I get the frustration with societal pressure that assumes that everyone should have kids, the relatives who won’t stop bugging you about things that aren’t their business, I get that and I support you, ok?

But guys, you can stand up for your right to live your life how you want without being a weirdo and without fucking insulting other people ok? Reading this shit reminds me of struggling to fit in at my college as an older student, and I was the only one in my class who had a kid, and listening to my own goddamned teachers make jokes about “breeders” and “crotch dumplings” like how fucking dare you shit on my life like that? Deciding kids aren’t for you is one thing, making it your personality and lifestyle is a whole other thing and quite frankly it’s creepy and annoying and weird.

I personally don’t really like dogs. Dogs that do a job like hunting or herding are kind of cool, but as I pet, I don’t really like them. I think dogs are stinky and gross and destructive. I think a lot of people have really bad behaved dogs in public and it’s annoying. Dogs shit and piss everywhere outside and some people don’t clean it up and it makes me mad. My youngest kiddo has a dog phobia and I hate how people let their unleashed dogs run everywhere and it scares him. I think dogs are expensive and take a lot of work and I can’t see myself ever wanting to do that. It feels to me like having to take care of a toddler that is never going to grow up and become independent and that feels overwhelming to me. Society’s promotion of dogs as “man’s best friend” is a bit eye-rolling to me. Dogs are loyal friends, and cats are evil bastards and it’s ok to kick them down the stairs. Everyone I know seems to have dogs and they talk about their dogs all the time and I cant relate. I’m tired of the people who feel so fucking entitled to their stupid nasty dogs that they slap on those vests so they can bring them places they shouldn’t be, and then I have to navigate past these poorly trained “service dogs” who are trying to run up to me and lick me while I’m at my old job or while I’m getting groceries.

But never once have I ever thought of proclaiming myself to be dogfree, living a dogfree life. I have made absolutely zero posts about how much I don’t like dogs and how glad I am that I don’t have any and how much better my life is for not having any dogs. I’ve never made rude posts talking about how dirty I think dog owners’ houses are, how much nicer my furniture is because it’s not being chewed all the time, how much money I’m saving because I don’t have to spend it on groomers and damage deposits and whatever. I don’t make a post talking about being oppressed every time some idiot says I should get rid of my cat and get a dog instead.

I don’t do this, because my personality and my life aren’t based around not having a dog. Basing your personality on being against something is weird and creepy no matter what that thing is. I don’t care if you don’t want kids. Cool. Don’t have kids then. But I don’t want to hear about your Childfree Lifestyle. Don’t call other people breeders for fucksake, and don’t think of mean names to call other people’s children. Children are human beings for chrissake. If you are typing out a sentence complaining about some children you saw somewhere, try replacing the word “child” with “disabled person” or “senior citizen” and if that sentence suddenly sounds not ok, maybe don’t fucking post it. Tired of it.

I also don’t like all the Mommy blogs Instagram thinks I want to see either, but god nothing is as obnoxious as the Childfree bullshit.