#still trying to figure out how to write phil dialogue so sorry if it feels ooc

[pompadorbz]

good morning pompadorbz nation as it turns out i am still sick and twisted

No, the Ender Prince AU has NOT left my brain, don't you think for a second that it hasn't, it is to the point that I am drawing this guy for one of my final assignments, ive already gotten an art trade of him its honetly a miracle i haven't put him on artfight yet. AND. And. I spent my entire evening on one singular short fic. Here is that fic. (note that. i very much made this for myself but i think ive pretty much talked about all the plot points so far in my that appear here in my older posts about this au, which you can find under the #ender prince au tag. if there's something that appears here that I've omitted from the posts then like. idk that's an issue not an issme lol. I'll probably post about whatever i didn't in like 2-3 business days knowing the state of my brainwaves rn. also shoutout to @fries-is-silly for beta reading this for me whilst i slept comfy and cozy in my bed)

The claws of Phil’s exoskeleton lightly click against the cold purpur floors as he briskly makes his way across the long hallways of the end palace. The Ender King had requested the night prior that he visit the throne upon awakening, and Phil knew he was an impatient man. Phil knew better than to keep him waiting this long by now… He never failed to disappoint in that regard, it seemed. Phil truly could not move any quicker if he tried. The lavender tiles were so large that he would barely miss the edge of each square with every step, and he swore up and down to himself that walking back and forth across a single hallway would take him a complete twenty minutes, but this was assuming time was valuable enough in the end to fact-check that estimate to begin with. Perhaps he had only gotten used to it at this point, but Phil always felt as if the hallways had shrunk since his first days in the palace– not that the King had really allowed him to roam very far for that first while, anyway. He remembered the dread he felt as he was first carried off into the throne room; How staring up the unfathomably tall walls and to the impossibly high ceiling made him feel horribly nauseous. He thought that no closed space should ever be this colossal. It gave him a rare fear– a terror of heights. For once. But that was back then. This is Now. And right now, Phil was on solid ground, and he was nearly at the throne room. He thought that maybe- as he picks up the pace, if he could get away with a quick sprint, he would get there a little bit quicker. However, A familiar voice called from around the next corner, dripping with acid. It makes Phil freeze dead in his tracks. “You took your precious time getting here as is, little fly. It would be a waste of energy for you to scratch up my floor with your little claws.”Phil’s pace slows significantly at the comment as he turns into the throne’s open doorway, clasping his hands together in shame as he stares up towards the throne where the Ender king sat, shrouded in his usual cloak as his hair fell like waterfalls off the edges and arms of the seat. The golden mask that rested upon his face was one that Phil didn’t recall ever seeing him wear; a spider, with its giant mandibles protruding outward from the lower half, and eight eyes, painstakingly painted a bright red. Phil thought it looked rather striking.

“I… I’m sorry for rushing, my lord. I knew when I woke up that I would be cutting it close… It won’t happen again.” The ender king hums low and sarcastically. “You say it won’t happen again… And yet, every time, you always seem to break that promise without fail now, don’t you? Hm?”There was a faux-sweetness in the monarch’s voice that made Phil’s throat tighten, and before he could work up the courage to provide another pitiful excuse, the Ender King was already continuing. “Though, I suppose that it is to be expected by now, isn’t it?” He asks rhetorically. “But no need to fret it much, little prince. There are far, far more pressing matters we must discuss today.”Ah.Phil knew well what that probably meant. “Is… Is it nearly time..? And so soon?” He questioned, feeling a pit form in his stomach from the nerves alone. “Ohh, we are not quite ready just yet, foolish prince! There are still a mere few preparations to be made.” The king explains matter of factly. “I will tell you exactly when it is time.”So in other words, Phil had to prepare to receive this information at the very last minute. Cool. “For now, however… I can prepare you for your little adventure just a cinch more.”He slowly holds his hands out in front of him. “Come forward.”

Phil nods in silence and flutters his elytra, slowly lifting off of the ground and flying up into the king’s hands as he’d done dozens of times before. It was a practiced movement by now. The Ender king wordlessly carries Phil over to the arm of his throne, letting him carefully walk off and take a seat on the end stone as he’d done countless times before. Sometimes, if he was lucky, the king would allow him to wrap whatever draped from his cloak around him as he sat by his side. …That did not occur often, however. And most certainly not today after having arrived so late.

Phil instead watches the Ender King as he reaches a bony hand into his cloak and pulls out a tiny (by his standards, anyway), white-painted chest. He carries it between his fingers, placing it directly in front of Phil with just enough force to threaten to crush him; if he ever fell out of line, that is.

“A gift! Just for you, little orchid.~”Phil stares at the box for just a moment and reaches toward it… Only to look back at the Ender king for a moment in his hesitation.

The last time he had been given a gift, it was… Well, it was his very own room in the palace, complete with a rather comfortable bed, some soft wool carpet… Even a few trinkets that the king didn’t wish to keep for himself in the throne room. It wasn’t terribly big, nor was it filled with riches… But it made the castle feel a little more like a home.

It wasn’t a perfect home, but of course… Phil hadn’t a reason to complain that’d be worth the Ender King’s time.

“Oh, don’t just gawk at me like that, Corvus. Don’t you wish to know what’s inside? Are you not curious?” Says the king. “You could at the very least pretend to be grateful.”“I am grateful, my king! I really, truly am! It… just took me by surprise, is all-”

“Yes, well I believe that is in fact the point of a surprise, isn’t it?” The Ender King impatiently cuts him off, tapping his finger nails on the opposing arm of the throne.

Phil stares into the vacant red eyes of the spider mask for a brief moment, but only sighs, accepting the swift dismantling of yet another poor excuse.

“Yeah, I guess it is, huh…” He concedes, turning back to the chest and gently placing his hands onto the lid.

He lifts it open and peers inside at what looked like… A wool blanket..? No… No, rather it was something wrapped inside a wool blanket. It glistens in gold through the holes in between each fuzzy woven thread as Phil carefully takes it out of the box and cradles it in his lap.

More of the object’s golden surface is revealed with each layer of wool that Phil unfolds, and after there is nothing left to cover it, there sits in front of him:

“A mask..? Like.. Like one of yours?” Phil tentatively asks.

The Ender King laughs with a disposition so sunny it was almost unnerving.

“That it is, clever prince! I made it especially for you to take along on your journey.~”Phil looks back down at the mask in slight awe, inspecting it further. It looked almost like a mantis’ face of some kind, with two large eyes protruding outward from the top, sitting just above where the real eyeholes sat… But more curiously, something was nestled in between the eyes…

“What’s this ender pearl for..?” Phil asks.

“Ah, now that, curious little prince, is because this mask serves a very important purpose.”

The king’s tone was the most fluttery and excitable it had ever been, letting the answer to Phil’s question dangle like a carrot on a string for a moment.

“This will be your ticket in and out of the universe I’ve picked for your first little expedition,” He begins. “and every universe beyond that for the rest of our forever time.” Oh.

This was more than just a mask… It was a priceless artifact; one more valuable than Phil could ever imagine being.

He couldn’t even think of something to say about it… This whole mission had a lot of responsibility to it already, but… This was different.

It was tangible.

It made any and all words elude him.

“Now, What do we say, Corvus…?”Though… He supposed he could start with that one, yeah.

“Thank you…” He nearly whispers, trailing a hand against the mask’s surface before he wraps it up in the blanket once more and places it carefully back into the white box.

The Ender King places a hand to his chin.

“Oh, Corvus… I didn’t quite catch that– What, with your incessant mumbling. Oh do repeat yourself, would you?~” Phil nervously clears his throat as he looks back up to the spider mask, looking into the eyeholes as if he could see the deity’s face underneath.

“Thank you so very much… My king.”

“Good boy.”The Ender King holds a hand out for Phil to once again climb upon, and Phil obliges; this time allowing himself to be brought down to ground level. The last thing he wanted was to drop his present.

“Run along now, little prince! There will be plenty of work to be done in due time, so do not disappoint me.”Phil nods and begins making his way toward the door… But he’s stopped by the monarch one final time just as he goes to turn through the exit.

“Oh… And one final thing before you leave, yes? It is incredibly important… So listen closely.” The Ender King begins.

Phil only barely turns around before the feeling of dread hits him like a brick. There was always a catch to these… Nicer interactions.

“Be careful with that mask. Don’t you lose it, and don’t you dare break it. Because if you do…”

Phil swallows the lump in his throat. He knew the threat he was about to hear. As empty as it seemed after constant reiteration… It never failed to strike fear into his heart.

“I have absolutely no qualms with plucking those little wings off of your ungrateful back.”

The silence hangs heavy between the two… And what was likely only a few seconds felt like minutes to Phil.

“Do I make myself clear, Icarus?”Phil Nodded.

“Crystal.”

[mcyt-imagines-library]

I just read your “Technoblade s/o betrays him” and loved it

But then I started making up scenarios in my head like-

ok so what if his s/o betrayed him because the other side was holding very important people from the s/o like siblings, or someone else very very important to them and used them against them

(also may I please be 🐉 anon??))

I’m loving these reactions lol. I’m gonna try my hand at writing some dialogue, wish me luck

*Writing this to Snow by Ricky Montgomery

**Little bit of canon divergence btw

Technoblade’s S/O Betrays Him, Pt. 2

When the bust had happened, nearly everyone had gotten away. Niki managed to get away and run to her underground city, Ranboo was pardoned by Tubbo and was taken back to Snowchester, and Phil had managed to fly off at Techno's request before he was shackled, each of them promising to return to help him.

It had been a few days, now being locked in Pandora's Box in a mid level security solitary cell, half waiting for them to fulfill their promises and half trying to plan his own breakout. That was, until you came to visit him.

While you weren't exactly the first person he wanted to see pop up at his cell, he did want answers. Mainly one answer though.

What all was a lie?

Was all that time you spent talking with him about how you believe all unfair establishments should crumble a lie? Was you calling everyone family and caring for them a lie?  Were all of those times you spent in his room together all a lie too? Was it all just to get him to trust you? Because if so, it worked. He just wished it hadn't.

You nervously stood in front of Technoblade’s cell, your eyes trained on the metal bars that were bolted into the small window. Sam gave you a quick rundown before he left, telling you to call him if anything gets out of hand. You nodded and waved him off as he walked through the long, black bricked hallway and, presumably, back to the front desk. 

When he was gone, you noticed an oppressive silence in the prison wing. You figured that you’d be able to hear, at the very least, the distant sound of a few particularly strong waves lapping at he lower walls of the building, but no. The only noises were your’s and Technoblade’s breathing.

After a few minutes of those sounds, you figured it was enough to make someone go mad. You could only guess how Technoblade felt. 

“Why are you here?”

Your eyes shot up from pristine iron bars and to your, most likely ex, boyfriend.

He was across from you, sitting on a bed hanging from the wall, his back pressed against the cold bricks. His pink hair was hung around his face in clumped strands, his amber eyes were trained on you, refusing to break the slightest bit of eye contact. You could see, from the small tusks that poked out from the bottom row of his teeth, that his face was twisted into a grimace.

You averted your eyes from him and onto the rest of his little cell. There was a toilet, the shitty little brick of a bed he was on, and a small lamp that hung from the ceiling. 

He quickly got up and, within a few steps, grabbed at his barred window, wrapping one of his hands around a bar, the other hand hitting a few others, causing a loud ‘bang’ to echo through the hallway. His expression got more intense. “Why are you here?”

You jumped back from both the sudden noise and the harshness in his tone. 

blinked tears from your eyes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t- it was Quackity!” you blurted out.

While his expression didn’t lighten up, he made a small confused sound, urging you to elaborate.

You let out a small, awkward and stilled laugh while you rubbed your eyes, blinking away tears.

You began to explain how Quackity wanted him gone and, instead of getting his own hands dirty, he made you the pawn. By taking someone you cared for so deeply, a young sibling figure, and dangling them over your head, he had effectively trapped you into his own one sided war. 

Technoblade looked tired. Any angry pretenses he once held were dropped and he looked exhausted. The dark rings around his eyes were more obvious in the light of the hallway, as were the scratches and burns on his face and arms from the fight. 

“How much were you lying about, then?“ His voice had gotten the littlest bit more gentle. Not quite what he would use when you two were alone, but the same tone he’d use around the rest of the syndicate. 

“Nothing with you was a lie, Tech,” you let out a small laugh of disbelief. “Me falling for you wasn’t even part of the plan, it just happened. I never faked my feelings, they were just there.”

He steeled his gaze. “I can’t forgive you. You betrayed me and the rest of the syndicate.“

“I know. I know I did. And I know I can’t make this right, not in full, but I can still try,” you lowered your voice and looked him in the eyes before you wrapped you softly touched the hand that was wrapped around one of the bars. “I’m going to get you out. I don’t care how long it takes, I don’t care if I get hunted down afterwords, I don’t even care if I die in the process, I’m going to free you. I promise.“

His expression had fully softened, your touch being a nice change of pace for the last few days. He placed his forehead against the bars and let out a sigh. You following in suit, standing on your tip toes and placing your head against the bars too. 

Against the protests of the voices in his head, maybe there was still a small part of him that loved you.

[365days365movies]

January 14, 2021: GoldenEye (Epilogue)

WhoooooooooooooOK. Look, I’m gonna get through this, but I’m gonna have to go in a different order. I’m going from highest score to lowest, because that’s how I’m gonna be able to get through this. And for the record, I’ll be doing some...ranting...at certain points. This is gonna be interesting. Why? Well, let’s start with this little tidbit.

79%. Not my score. That’s the Rotten Tomatoes score for this movie. The average rating on RT is 7.1/10. My score...my score will not be that high. Maybe not terribly low, but...it ain’t gonna be that high. ‘Cause I got some problems. OH BOY...do I got some problems. And this might even be controversial for some, but if you like this movie, I’m so happy for you.

I...I was not that lucky.

Review

Direction and Action

To Martin Campbell: great job. I actually mean this sincerely, great job with the direction of this movie, as well as the cinematography. Good job from you too, Phil Méheux. Some of the shots and framing of this movie are great, and credit absolutely deserves to be given for that. And the action! Look, as stupid as some of the framing is for it (we’ll get there, dear GOD, we’ll get there), the action is all dynamite. From the jump into the dam at the beginning, to the VERY impressively brutal fight scene between Alec and James at the end. Absolutely impressive, and gets a 9/10 from me. Yeah, really. No complaints here. 

Wow, a 9? That’s a big deal! I thought you said you hated this movie.

I don’t hate everything in this movie. But some things...some things...we’ll get there.

Cast and Acting

I can’t believe I’m saying this, considering my opinions on a lot of the movie...but Brosnan is a pretty great Bond. I hate the lines he’s forced to deliver, I hate the relationships and lack of emotion in his dialogue (WE WILL GET THERE), but I don’t actually blame Brosnan for that. He does a great job with what he’s given. And that basically goes for everybody else...almost. Famke Janssen. Xenia...she, uh...HOLY SHIT DUDE. She fuckin’ GOES for it. She’s the craziest Bond...Girl...wait. No, wait, she isn’t the Bond Girl. SHE’S THE HENCHMAN. Shit. OK, I’m on board with Xenia and Famke Janssen’s portrayal. Over the top, sure, but I can deal with that. Sean Bean does great, no surprise there, and I even like Izabella Scorupco as Natalya. Alan Cumming...Boris....yeah, no, no pass for Boris, he’s obnoxious as hell. I know you’re a great actor, Alan Cumming. So why in the hell do I NEVER SEE YOU IN ANYTHING GOOD??? Except X2, you rocked as Nightcrawler. And y’know what, Judi Dench’s one scene as M was FANTASTIC. Seriously, more of THAT, please! So, yeah, when I really think about it, high marks here, too. 8/10!

And an 8! For somebody who liked Connery, I’m surprised that Brosnan was OK for you. And yet, you said you didn’t like this movie? Why?

Just keep reading. It’ll aaaaaaaaaaallllllll make sense soon.

Production Design

Not much to say here, except...yeah, it looks great! From Arecibo Observatory to the streets of St. Petersburg, it all looks great. Iconic sets, like that Soviet statuary. Costumes, ESPECIALLY Xenia’s, were also pretty good, although not particularly iconic. Definitely no real problems here. Good job, Peter Lamont! 8/10 for you and your cohorts.

These are pretty high grades, 365.

I know. I am aware. We are not done.

Music and Editing

Before I talk about Tina Turner’s song, I have one thing to say...the triangle guy in the orchestra was having a FIELD DAY. My girlfriend and I watched this together, and she noticed it first. Now I can’t unhear it. Everybody wants to be heard...even the triangle guy. Listen to the theme from the tank sequence, you won’t be able to unhear the triangle guy going CRAZY back there. 

OK, the opening sequence might’ve been crazy compared to others, but the song was...pretty good. Absolutely not my favorite Bond song (GOOOOOOOOOLD-FINGAAAAAAH-WHAP-WHAAAAAAAP-WAAAAAAAAAAH), but still good. And the rest of the music for the movie is good...but I won’t be buying the soundtrack, sorry to say. Still, Éric Serra did a good job, I mean that. With all that said, 8/10.

Gee, 365, you sure you don’t like this movieGIVE IT A GODDAMNSECONDOK???

Plot and Writing

...Hey, uh...you OK? Looks like your eyes have gone blank there, 365. You all ri-wait...wait, what are you doing with your thighs? No! NOOOOOOOOO-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHATETHEWRITINGANDPLOTINTHISGODDAMNMOVIE

OK, take a breathtakeabreathtakeabreathtakeaBREATH. The plot and writing of this goddamn movie cripples EVERYTHING ELSE IT HAD GOING FOR IT for me. And for the duration of the film, I’ve been trying to figure it out. What was it? I’m gonna have to break it into pieces here.

Plot first. At the end of the day, the plot isn’t actually bad in and of itself. However...it is the most UNORIGINAL, HACKNEYED, SPY MOVIE, JAMES BOND CLAPTRAP THAT I HAVE EVER SEEN. The entire film just feels scripted, and not in a good way. And I know that, logically, some things are going to stay the same. He’s gonna get the girl, there’s going to be a dastardly villain, there’ll be gadgets, Bond’ll be cool, and there’s the music. Let’s take the music out of it, obviously, and look at the other core elements of a Bond film, shall we?

The Girl: I might’ve liked Natalya, but the characters had NO chemistry. Can’t say that about Brosnan and Izabella, they did fine with what they were given. But the characters weren’t given a single satisfying reason to get together. They needed to either meet earlier, or you needed to give her something in her character to get her to convincingly fall for Natalya. The work needs to be done with her. Because, let’s face it: James Bond is a man-whore. It’s literally a part of his character definition. He doesn’t need an excuse to fall for her, she needs an excuse to fall for him. And we never get a convincing reason for their relationship. Ever.

The Villain: Gaaaaaaah, Alec! Alec was actually an interesting character! His motivations actually did make sense, and play on a VERY tough event in the history of the UK. While it certainly doesn’t justify his actions, it definitely makes him more three-dimensional. Which is why it’s a shame that the film works so hard to flatten him out. They turn him from an intriguing individual, to someone whose ultimate goal is to steal ALL OF THE MONEY IN LONDON!!! MUUUUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!! This guy is a Baron Zemo, a THANOS. Doing terrible things for understandable reasons. Should’ve leaned into that more, instead of just turning him into Evil James Bond. One of the biggest failures of this movie, seriously.

Gadgets: WHAT GODDAMN GADGETS??? The acetylene torch at the dam? Barely a gadget, and you know it. The car? NOPE! Agent Wade takes it away! Here’s an ideaUSE THE CAR IN ST. PETERSBURG. Instead of TEARING UP DOWNTOWN ST. PETERSBURG. Real subtle, Bond, real great work AS A SPY, YOU FUCKLEHEAD!!! What about the pen? Oh, the one he uses by ACCIDENT? Yeah, not counting that either. The belt? Nope, not even touched. And lastly, I cannot stress this enough, WHY WOULD YOU TEASE ME WITH THE GODDAMN CAR MISSILES, AND DO NOTHING WITH THEM??? Yeah. Still not over the car thing, I mean that. Enraged. So enraged.

James Bond: Pierce...you did a good job. You did a great job, even. It’s not you. It’s the writing. See, Bond lines used to be cool. But then, Schwarzenegger happened. And Stallone happened. And literally the entirety of the 1980s and early ‘90s happened. And all during that, Bond was still around, and still pumping out movies. All of Connery’s wit and cunning got Flanderized into almost a parody of the original character. And Brosnan...Brosnan does his damndest with those puns. Those awful...AWFUL...puns. If they were here and there, sure, I could’ve taken it. But at times, it felt like EVERY OTHER LINE!!! At a certain point, the film felt less like a Bond film, and more like a parody of a Bond film. EXCEPT, that unlike Austin Powers, IT. WASN’T. FUCKING. FUNNY. But you may have noticed something...that has nothing with the plot. That’s all writing. OK, let’s get into it.

The writers need help; they were clearly locked in a room for too long until they came up with “good puns.” It didn’t work. And the problem stretches far outside of the puns. Lemme give you an example, yeah? At one point, Valentin asks if Bond has “joined the 21st century,” then notes that M is now a woman. That comment makes no sense in two ways. One, that phrase is meant to state that an individual is somehow dated, out of touch with the present, stuck in the past. Yet, working for a woman is most certainly a more modern trait, so that makes no sense. And secondly, THIS IS 1995, IN THE 20TH CENTURY. And that’s a relatively minor nitpick, at the tip of the iceberg of this film. There are plot holes, missed opportunities...long story short (too late), the writing is TERRIBLE. It’s goddamn awful. It’s so awful...that I’m going for 1/10. Yeah. This movie PISSED ME OFF.

There. You get it now? Most of the elements of the movie were fine, but the writing TORE it for me. Which leaves us with…

A 68%.

*wakes up* W---WHAT? You tried to Xenia me, and you still gave it a 70%? What about the whole “My score will not be that high” thing? HUH?

I mean...it wasn’t. The average rating on Rotten Tomatoes was a 71%. Mine’s a 68%.

Because here’s the thing: it’s honestly not a bad movie. It just infuriates me for one reason. By all other metrics, this movie’s totally fine. It’s just the unoriginal plot and cringeworthy writing that tears it down a peg. Just imagine if the writing was good. This movie would be considered one of the best action movies, instead of just once of the best James Bond movies. And even then, if you ranked these movies by Tomatometer, GoldenEye’s only #9. That’s beneath Lazenby, a Moore, two Craigs, and the first four Sean Connerys. In other words, it’s the worst Bond movie I’ve ever seen...and I’ve only seen the first four Connery movies. So, really, this rating makes sense when you think about it.

There it is: a good action film with shitty writing. That’s GoldenEye. And PLEASE disagree with me, I’m one of the outliers with this movie. It is a beloved classic for many, and I respect that. But for me...it’s a 68%. Just my opinion.

But this isn’t fair. I want me a good Bond movie, or at least one that I like. Already seen Goldfinger, so...let’s go for the Bond after Brosnan, shall we?

January 15, 2021: Casino Royale (2005)

[elizas-writing]

Thirteen Reasons Why is Torture Porn; Using Graphic Violence to Make a Point

CW/TW: Mentions of suicide, rape/sexual violence, physical assault, and everything the Thirteen Reasons Why crew were told NOT to do by mental health experts

If you are in a crisis, don’t let a poorly written TV show tell you what to do; call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the Suicide Crisis Line at 1-800-784-2433. Surround yourself with people who will support you without judgement and are willing to take the extra step to understand. If you’re struggling to find regular mental health resources, check out here for more options. You still have a life ahead even if it takes some trial and error to figure out what the hell to do.

So Netflix released the second season of Thirteen Reasons Why, and, what a shock, people hate it for upping the graphic violence and rape. I have no plans to watch it myself after reading through all the triggers, but suffice it to say that so little was learned from the first season. Plus, I’d rather not subject myself to that much distress for a TV show I knew there was no point in continuing after the first season. Everyone’s accounts across Twitter and Tumblr of the new season seem to match up, so I’m going off of that for this piece.

If you haven’t seen my review of the first season (with and without spoilers), I found that it definitely went too far to make a point and had really confusing characterizations, but there were select scenes, when they were done right, were kinda worth the wait-- keyword being “kinda.” There was a germ of an idea begging for good writing, but got sucked into shock value for the sake of shock value. And the second season offers no promises to improve.

Of the multiple graphic scenes of this season, the one which sparked the most outrage was the final episode “Bye” as Tyler (a serial stalker) is brutalized and raped by his male classmates. As a result of being pushed too far, he brings practically a whole arsenal of guns to shoot up the school during a dance, but Clay peacefully disarms him before he can go through with it.

So apparently the creators saw the criticism of season one and thought, “So, you want to see more graphic violence, rape, and terribly confusing characterization?”

In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, creator and showrunner, Brian Yorkey, wanted to explore more of Tyler’s psyche and “how a troubled man might be driven to consider this very difficult choice” after the bullying and ostracization he experienced in the first season. While I’d never wish rape on anyone, even fictional people--and a bunch of characters who mistreated him are total hypocrites--, Tyler is still beyond redemption for never understanding how his behavior destroyed Hannah’s sense of safety. The show puts him through that much brutalization to force audiences to feel sympathetic towards him while never critically analyzing why his stalking and coping mechanisms were wrong and unhealthy, regardless of what else was going on in his life.

It also promotes the dangerous idea that social outcasts and/or victims of bullying are likely to eventually become school shooters, which completely ignores factors like toxic masculinity or racist associations-- as was the case for shootings like Parkland and Santa Fe from this year-- which contribute to a white male sense of entitlement. Even though the lapses in logic are all over the place in the show-- particularly Clay having an emotional breakdown with Tyler, even though he made things worse in the first place by sharing revenge porn--, people had every right to distance themselves from Tyler as much as possible.

He’s a creep in how he objectifies his female classmates, constantly collects sensitive photos for blackmail, and his main outlet for anger becomes shooting guns at bottles and live animals, because society as a whole tends to only show men how to be emotional through anger and nothing else. This doesn’t help that when he testified, he apparently wanted to befriend Hannah to take photos of her to which she rejected (rightfully so) and thus his stalking began. It’s already so back-and-forth among viewers if Hannah committed suicide out of revenge or actual mental health deterioration, and subtly putting blame on her for rejecting Tyler is up there as one of the worst things they did to her. Not to mention throughout the second season, Tyler is anonymously putting up polaroids around the school of incriminating evidence in the case, particularly with Jessica, who is already stressed as is coming to terms that she was raped by Bryce.

It’s upon these scenes that I realized Netflix’s Thirteen Reasons Why can’t decide who it’s supposed to be for. It’s not for teenagers with how unrealistic and unidentifiable the characters are, especially coming from an adaptation of an 11-year-old book with an outdated understanding of teen mental health, bullying and suicide. It’s most definitely not for mentally ill folks with a history of suicidal thoughts because it’s so graphic, violent, and triggering, and on top of which, is grossly inaccurate on how depression works. Are they making it for the same people who can stomach Game of Thrones easily?

Above all else, does graphic violence have any point in film or television?

As mentioned in their first Beyond the Reasons special, the writers argued about needing that authenticity for Hannah’s rape and suicide scenes “to be painful to watch,” but it’s really not worth it if it has nothing else to say besides “look at this excess violence; you need to feel bad.” If you need to spoon feed your audience an explicit rape or suicide scene to emphasize how horrible those things are, it’s bad writing. They made the same mistakes with Tyler’s brutalization, which like I said, only exists to make you feel sorry for him and almost forget he’s an irredeemable character.

Film and television are super creative visual mediums; there are ways to convey an emotion or theme without triggering content or alienating your supposed intended audience.

I mentioned this before in my first review, but Perks of Being a Wallflower did incredibly well in portraying child molestation and an attempted suicide without going too far. The scenes of the molestation are cleverly cut and mostly in shadow where all you can see is Charlie’s aunt rubbing his leg and hear her whispering “Don’t wake your sister.” And when he’s mentally breaking down and suicidal, the camera just pans to the knife slowly before immediately cutting to the police breaking in, and then Charlie wakes up in the psychiatric ward. It’s a gut-wrenching scene every time, but it’s also smart in remembering the intended audience and walking that line before it becomes too much. It’s a great depiction of an anxiety attack where everything overwhelms you at once, and sometimes there’s gaps in your memory in what happened while in that state of panic. It’s never addressed what happened between the police arriving and Charlie waking up in the psychiatric ward. But it doesn’t need to give those answers; what matters most is that Charlie is safe and finally going to get the help he needs.

A scene can be way more powerful in what it omits rather than what it explicitly shows. What you imagine might happen can be more exciting and/or terrifying than what any director could have put on the screen themselves.

Early horror and thriller films are among the most successful of this, especially if they’re directed by Alfred Hitchcock, the Master of Suspense. Sure, these films seem pretty cheesy when we in the 21st century are used to seeing much more violence and body horror, but they have their mark on cinematic history for a reason, and for an audience in the 1960s, this was horrifying. Take the famous shower scene from Psycho.

Instead of showing the knife penetrating flesh, it’s all edited in near-rapid cuts of “Mother” missing, Marion screaming and trying to defend herself, and shots of her feet with blood dripping into the water. It focuses more on the vulnerability of the situation, when there’s no chance for escape as you’re cornered against the wall and how quickly it all happens before you can react, complete with fast-paced editing and those high pitched violins. That kind of defenselessness freaked out actress Janet Leigh so much that she couldn’t take showers again without locking the doors and windows and leaving the shower door open. Hell, that still tends to be a common reaction for a lot of people who see this movie, and all without needing to show actual stab wounds.

And this trick in omitting some elements and highlighting others works well across genres for any scene motivated by any strong emotion. There’s probably about 50 different Disney films I can cite that do this well, but the one that sticks out the most is Tarzan.

Aside from Phil Collins singing, some animal noises, and a baby cooing, there is no spoken dialogue for the first 7 minutes, which is a really long time for an animated family film. Yeah, the song kinda hamfists in the themes of family and love from the get-go, but it’s otherwise a great introduction. You see these two families just starting out before they’re cut short by tragedy; one with the death of a baby gorilla and the other with the death of Tarzan’s parents, both at the jaws of Sabor. The former is only indicated by the sounds of the baby gorilla’s screams echoing in the jungle while we only see the aftermath of the latter through Kala’s perspective when she finds Tarzan.

Obviously with it being a Disney family film, they’re not going to actually show Sabor tearing up a baby gorilla or the human parents. As such, they have to rely on context clues for the audience to pick up and piece together everything else with their imaginations. When you think about it long enough, it’s a really dark beginning on how quickly unexpected tragedy can destroy everything you hold dear. And it’s all accomplished without going too far.

Does this mean we need to omit graphic violence entirely for a film? Not necessarily as it very much depends on what the film is and your target audience. But omission is a great practice in a story to explore what else you have to say besides “Look at this traumatizing shit. You should feel bad.” Of course, we’ll always have mindless films which just exist to be violent, and historical narratives and/or social commentaries in some cases need violence to portray the reality of a situation. But when you’re making something about mental illness with intent to help those like your characters, it helps to listen to what your audience and mental health experts actually want to see in such a narrative. And like I said before, the Thirteen Reasons Why creators completely ignored criticisms of season one and continued making the same mistakes just to milk their product beyond the source material. It has nothing else to say or do besides being needlessly gritty as opposed to creating likable characters or understandable motivations.

The only exception to this rule I can even think of is Deadpool 2.

I know it seems counter-intuitive to compare Deadpool 2 and Thirteen Reasons Why given the former’s more excessive violence, but bare with me here. I stand by that Deadpool 2 is way better at handling themes of suicide and violence in two hours than Thirteen Reasons Why ever did in 26 episodes.

The major differences? The intended audience’s expectations and well-written characterization.

Most everyone going in already knows what Wade Wilson is like. And this is definitely not the first time he attempted suicide in such grandiose and gratuitous fashion. The first film established itself as a wildly violent parody of superhero films, and the sequel continues that by poking fun at recent trends of these films going darker and grittier. In any other film, this would cross the line, but because it’s Deadpool, the excessively grotesque violence is to be expected. It succeeds in capturing the shock and dark humor (i.e Wade blowing himself up with his apartment, knowing fully well he can’t die) while still maintaining the weight of his emotional turmoil.

We actually get to know who Wade is and why he acts the way he does. There’s no drawn out mystery or fact-checking other sources or confronting side characters we don’t care about. We get his perspective alone, and that’s all we need to see his grief over Vanessa escalating to self-destructive behaviors and how he tries to find some family and meaning in life without her, even though her death is retconned in the end anyway. It’s all played for laughs, but you can’t help but feel sorry for Wade because he loved Vanessa so much, and they were a wonderfully sweet couple.

Another thing Deadpool 2 does significantly better than Thirteen Reasons Why is not forcing gray morality where it doesn’t belong, particularly when Wade tries to save Russell. It doesn’t matter if his actions lead to a horrible future; he’s just a traumatized kid who needs a proper family who will guide him. A lot of X-Men films try to play the heroes as the bigger people who are above murder and revenge. Yet Deadpool 2 doesn’t punish those like Russell with understandable hatred and motivations. It is very upfront that if you harm children, you deserve whatever hell comes your way-- which really hits home as Russell was put through metaphorical gay conversion therapy.

Meanwhile, I can’t even be bothered to care about anyone in Thirteen Reasons Why. The second season out of nowhere piles on excuse after excuse to justify the characters’ actions without them ever facing guilt or consequences. Anyone else with a remote chance at sympathy is just put through more emotional torture without rhyme or reason. I don’t care who has a drug problem, who’s gay, who dated who, the he-said-she-said, etc etc. If you’re trying to preach the ever-tired “it gets better” bullshit, when does it actually start to get better?

Sadly, Thirteen Reasons Why can’t find that point, and I don’t trust it will given how little the creators learned from the first season’s criticisms. They don’t care about creating a narrative to help mentally ill teens. They have nothing else to say or do than to make money and shoe-horned in so much graphic violence under the guise of being “authentic” to compensate for a tired Degrassi knockoff which would’ve disappeared if it wasn’t based on a well-known YA novel. Graphic violence in media is a tool to be used carefully, and of course it will vary project to project. But if it just exists to pad your “deep, meaningful” story instead of developing characters, motivations and relationships, then it’s cheap, lazy torture porn, and it’s bad writing.

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[novadreii]

The Ancient Magus' Bride: A Review

Big spoilers ahead.

I’m not often compelled to write full-length reviews on series that I watch, but this one elicited an interesting response from me. I don’t think I’ve ever negatively changed my mind about an anime halfway through. If I like something from the start, I usually like it all the way through to the end. If I loathe something from the start, I try to determine if there’s room for development/improvement before continuing. And I’ve seen a good amount of shows turn it around.

But TAMG was really a strange experience for me. Everything pointed towards this being a quality show. All the signs were there. And I will commend it on what it did right. This show had gorgeous animation, lovely voice acting, and a breathtaking original soundtrack. As I said, all the signs pointed to this being a winner, maybe the best anime of the last 5 years or so.

But sadly, TAMG is, at its core, a reductive escapist fantasy for young girls.

I know, that is a bold statement. But I have evidence to support my claim! Promise.

We start off the show with Chise being bought by the titular Ancient Mage at a slave auction. It’s okay, though, because she willingly sold herself into slavery. Wait, you can do that? I guess. Anyway. This show’s big selling point is Chise’s growth from a sad girl with nothing to live for to...well, someone who is not that way. And it’s a relatable backstory for a main character. So far, so good.

But the rest of plot fails to sufficiently develop the rest of the world, lore, and characters in a way that makes Chise’s development interesting enough. Side characters are given at most one (1) episode of backstory before being utterly forgotten for the entire rest of the series. Plot points that you think will eventually loop back for an interesting game of Raise the Stakes just kind of wander out to sea and never come back (aka Chise’s family...um...her dad and brother are still out there!). The lore of the fairies and magic is just kind of there and never properly explored or utilized. Chise is supposedly there to learn magic from Elias as her teacher, yet we don’t really ever see him instructing her in the theory of it, or her magical skills progressing. All we’re really told is that Chise is both incredibly strong and weak as shit as the same time. Makes sense.

Elias’ origin is completely ignored, even that could have been an amazing addition to the story as it’s so shrouded in mystery and intrigue and often hinted at by several characters. So, at about the rough halfway point of the series, I had all these loose ends and unexplored areas of the story in my head that I was really excited about, but they never materialized in the second half. The main “villain” in the show was kind of sad and easily defeated.

The second cour of the show was focused almost exclusively on what is, in my opinion, the most mundane, cloying, and dull part of the story: the relationship between Elias and Chise. Yep, sorry friends. I don’t find these two even remotely well suited to each other in any capacity, least of all romantic. Try picturing them together when Elias is in human form; that creeps me out more than his usual form. From the very beginning, I have disliked Elias. I find him boring. Oh boohoo, you’ve been wandering around Earth for hundreds of years and still haven’t figured out what “sad” “happy” “jealous” and “angry” feel like? Are you stupid as well as inexperienced, or just willfully ignorant? Because he managed to study and become proficient in the art of magecraft, but never could figure out why watching Titanic made his eyes leak? How many times do we have to watch Elias clutch his heart and say, “Is this what _______ feels like?” Just shut up. I find it hard to believe that in between all the magic and failed cooking lessons with Lindel, they never talked about how they felt in the hundreds of years that Lindel was taking care of him? *Dr. Phil voice* Really now?

Elias’ cluelessness about basic human emotions is the basis for about 99% of the personal conflicts/drama in the story, and it gets tiresome and feels cheap. Why does anime love to center on characters who don’t know how to feel? Does it give them more agency to act like a dick? Do young girls swoon after men who don’t really care about anything? Elias is frustrating, because we never get to see him break through that monotonous “teach me how to feel” crap, except for when he’s having a rage tantrum. But we never see him buckle down and really unload on how he’s feeling in an open and communicative way. He’s very selective with what he shares, and when he does it’s because Chise is prodding him to do it.

What I found essentially disappointing about this story is how everything in it was just there to further the drama between Chise and Elias without actually furthering the story itself. Everything Elias does to Chise, from how he constantly touches/grabs/picks her up without her permission, how he looms over her menacingly in his monster form when he’s jealous, how he calls her diminutive pet names, irritates me. Chise is a child who has nothing; of course she is going to gravitate to someone who offers her the only thing she wanted: a place to call home. What’s his excuse? He is the one in the position of power, and does he ever use it to his advantage.

How many times do we witness Elias withholding information from Chise, policing her, acting shady, throwing a giant temper tantrum, and being generally creepy and possessive? The anime is masterful in that it succeeds in writing it all off as romantic and cute, because “Elias doesn’t know what emotions he’s feeling! It’s cause he must love her LOL” Again, this was a lame excuse so that Elias could have license to be an asshole. All they needed was a cool/handsome/monstrous character design and a smooth af voice actor to make it all okay. But it isn’t. Chise did not, and still doesn’t have the agency to choose differently.

And I almost fell for it too; that’s how good it is. Because it ropes you in with great production value. I admit that instinctively I am just a dumb ape who will go gaga over anything shiny and pretty. And this anime certainly is those things, but it doesn’t capitalize on the amazing potential it set up from its very beginning, choosing instead to focus on relationship drama between two people who really should not be involved romantically at all.

I ask this: would it have detracted from the story at all for them to have had an adoptive parent and child relationship, to which both characters’ age, experience, and power dynamic was a lot better suited? Would it have been less meaningful? Why did they have to be set up as husband and wife from the get go? What was the point, other than to provide a weak and frankly disturbing plot point? If parent/child is a no-go, how about we make the female main character older than 20 years old for once? Even that would have been preferable.

I did read the manga, and the author tries to dance around the issue by once again using Elias’ inexplicable lack of emotional intelligence as an excuse. He doesn’t know what a bride is, he doesn’t understand the concept of marriage, he means it innocently etc. Okay, BUT, Chise, the rest of the characters, the author of the manga himself, the readers, and literally everyone else understands exactly what marriage is and what it implies. That is the connection the author intends us to make with all the symbolism and mushy dialogue between the two of them (as well as other characters’ observations about them both). It doesn’t matter how ambiguous the author is being about something; if it’s there, it’s there. Let’s call the spade a spade.

So the story revolves primarily around the romantic development between an indisputably adult male who also holds all the resources/power, and an emotionally broken child who can’t refuse. TAMG did not develop the rest of its story enough to distract me from this point, and I was just never able to look past it. It was glaring at me with each episode I watched.

Sure, Chise gets mad sometimes, and Elias eventually comes around from pouting when he realizes he could lose her. He eventually offers a monotone apology and all is right as rain. Chise eventually develops into the Needlessly Self-Sacrificing Main Character that anime relies on just a touch too heavily. It feels disingenuous and not at all relatable. It’s tiresome.

Towards the end, Chise gets some resolution from an old painful memory during an arc where she finally breaks free of Elias so she can act of her own accord for once. Which I really liked. But then she just ran home, forgave Elias a little too easily for all his bullshit, and ended up “marrying” him (again, everything is shrouded in an infuriating layer of ambiguity because nobody wants to call it what it is, but alllllll the right symbolism is there, we can figure it out ffs). That came completely out of left field for me and solidified my hunch that this is meant to be a teen fantasy and little else: leaving everything behind only to be saved, controlled by, and obsessed over by an ominous, rich, handsome, and overbearing man who just won’t keep his hands to himself.

There’s so much more I wanted to know about, and I get that you can’t fit everything into 24 episodes. But people like Silky, Ruth, Renfred, and Alice were utterly forgotten about even though they had solid, developed stories in the beginning of the anime. It’s like they hooked me in and left me hanging; the whole time I was waiting for MORE from those characters. For Silky to say even one word or to have more of a relationship with Chise other than hugging her dramatically from time to time, for Chise and Ruth to have another mage/familiar moment (or even arc). Things like that would have added so much more depth and significance to the story than even one more minute of Elias and Chise awkwardly and needlessly cuddling (or sleeping in bed together....honestly, wtf).

So in conclusion (am I writing a thesis or something?), The Ancient Magus’ Bride felt something like a betrayal. It drew me in with the promise of a gorgeous and heartfelt story, only to focus on what I thought was an inappropriate and forced relationship. I’m sure 16-year-old me would have eaten all of this up like a six-course meal. It’s a Japanese twist on Twilight (therefore also reminiscent of the even worse Fifty Shades franchise). As I get older and automatically tend think a lot more critically about why I like or dislike things, something like this isn’t going to cut it for me. It pulled at the heartstrings with emotive music and pretty visuals, but left me wanting so much more. I don’t want the media I consume to make me feel like I should like it; I just want to.

To any teen girls who adore this anime, I’m not telling you what to personally like/dislike. But I do hope you’ll think about why you do, and contemplate the fact that just because something is wrapped up in pretty packaging, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s harmless. Love doesn’t have to mean being dominated, stalked, policed, or controlled. And you don’t have to be married before you’re 20 or it’s game over. Healthy relationships are balanced, with an equal flow of power, love, and trust between parties involved. They can happen at 17, 45, or never, and that’s all okay. My fear is that this anime will reinforce the exact opposite message with its audience, in a manner that is honestly kind of insidious. It was so well-made, the tone and ambiance they created is so lovely that the harmful messages will just fly over your head; like they almost did to me.

Or...just enjoy it without a second thought and leave me to my over-analyzing. I do admit I look very closely at things, but I don’t know any other way to be.

TLDR; A lot of style, not a whole lot of substance. 4.5/10