#still this is pretty much just a diary entry so... enjoy?

[ouroboroboros]

its 8 hours into a 14 hour road trip, and a drizzle has been near constant since hour 3. it was nice at first- a gentle rhythm, no sun in my eyes, the smell of wet dirt drowning out the heavier chemical scents from factories i passed. but 8 hours in, the sky has had enough of the gentle drops. she flashes warnings in the clouds, grumbles thunder to tell me to quit while i'm ahead, but- i can't imagine stopping.

the rain comes like a wall and it does not relent. i think "maybe i'll drive through it". going 80mph down the highway, you think you're passing the world by. but the sky is a lot bigger than my little car, and i slow to a crawl as the road becomes not just slick, but dangerously flooded, as my wheels begin to meet resistance going through deep puddles. my wipers- i usually hate the sound they make, i can't even hear it now over the pounding rain- work as fast as they can, but the road in front of me is nearly incomprehensibly blurred. the headlights behind me, the tail lights in front, and the small reflective flashes that delineate the road's lanes are the few things I can make out with much clarity. this isn't safe, but I can't imagine stopping.

fog is rolling in now. at first i think it's my windows fogging from the humidity, but no- the fog rolls over the road, surrounds me and my fellow drivers, and what little i could make out of the road is fully gone now. just the lights. someone speeds past me in the left lane, impatient with my 40mph crawl, as if this thick sheet of water is a mere inconvenience for them. the taillights guiding me slowly disappear from sight. i realize that i am alone in this, that my family is 8 hours the other way, that my apartment- whenever i get there- has no one waiting. that my phone has no service out here. have i ever been this alone? it's my senior year of college, of course i've been alone, havent i? i keep people at arms length, but- they're still just a stretch of my fingertips away. i have never been so far from love in my life, and i am afraid. but i cannot imagine stopping.

at some point the rain lets up a little, and i catch up to some taillights again. different ones, i think, than before. these belong to a small truck that i don't remember seeing before. i have half a mind to pass it, at the pace it's keeping. my windshield wipers are making that annoying scrape they do, and i switch them to a lower mode. i think "that was crazy, but at least i made it through". the sky does not take kindly to my ego.

she opens up again, as fierce as ever, maybe fiercer, if that's possible. for the first time, i think "i really should stop. it's too much, there's no way I can do this for however many more hours I have left in the trip. and why bother? what's waiting for me?"

the truck in front of me begins to flash it's hazard lights, and I slow down, thinking they'll pull over. they don't. the hazards are simply a signal- "it's bad. i'm going slowly. i cannot see any more than you can. But I'm not stopping."

i can barely feel my face through the stress of it all, but i think tears prick up in my eyes. something about those red lights flicking on and off ahead of me is suddenly steadying, and loving, and beautiful. a beacon I can follow, just for now, through this little patch of angry sky. we move through the rain together like two scared animals, slow and uncertain but undeniably in this force of nature together. i feel somehow protected, even though i know whoever's in front of my is just as helpless as i am. it's just good to not be alone.

when the rain finally clears- really clears, clouds gone and everything- we emerge alive together. in the sunlight, I'm met with the realization that my eyes are strangely blurry and dry, like I haven't been blinking since the rain came through. i realize my shoulders are hunched, that every part of me is tensed. I straighten up a little, i let the fear dissolve, although it's going to take some time before i believe i'm well and truly safe. maybe i won't even feel that way till i get home. my companion through the rain is certainly still taking the cautious route, moving slowly across the dampened road. if I want to make it back before midnight, i'll need to pass them by. my heart aches a little. i want to see their face, give them a nod, a thanks, anything to acknowledge what we've been through together. i know i won't be able to.

but I can't imagine stopping.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - new entries upset the rankings

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

April 2024 Wk 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 11 of 12 - Like most Thai BL pulps, this show doesn’t have much story to it. But I'm discovering that what it does have I actually really enjoy. I love that the gay boys got to play matchmaker for a change and I like how just GAY they are. It's nice. Refreshing.

We Are (Weds GMMTV iQIYI) ep 1-2 of 16 - University ensemble BL featuring PondPhuwin, WinnySatang, AouBoom, MarcPawinPoon. I like it. It’s old school Thai BL, but having fun with itself and its tropes. I’m not expecting much, so I don’t mind it waffling. All the couples are comfy. Chemistry is okay. Friendships are nifty. I like Pond's floppy hair. We fine. 

Two Worlds (Thurs IQIYI) ep 5 of 10 - What an extremely bloody episode. And bad guy turned out to be very bad indeed. And now pretty much everyone is dead. Nice kiss. Of course. 

Deep Night (Thurs iQiyi) ep 6 of 8 - It’s cute, they happy, not a ton happened. Random gratuitous bathing. As you do in BL. And I still think the sides should just end up in a thrupple

Only Boo! (Sun YouTube) ep 2 of 12 - Oh they very cute. Also very silly. 

1000 Years Old (Thurs iQIYI) ep 9 of 12 - No. NOT THE GUITAR. YES abandon guitar for the sniff test! Love this for them. And me. My most favorite trope defeated my least favorite trope. VICTORY!!!  

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Unknown (Taiwan Tues YouTube & Viki) ep 8 of 11 - It’s just so good. Baby went away, grew up, and learned how to become a temptation... and a husband. 

Gray Shelter AKA Gray Currents (Korea Thurs iQIYI) 1 of 5 eps - SooHyuk, only just surviving, reunites with YoonDae, his (brief) younger stepbrother who feels abandoned. They end up living together. The younger brother is played by Lee Jae Bin of Choco Milk Shake. OMG. STEPBROTHERS TROPE. Lucky me! Two in one season. Yay!!!! It's Korea so great visuals too. I shallow but yeah, this is great.

Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - Kindly Ryota goes off to uni only to find his new roommate is his childhood bestie, Kazuhito. Kazuhito doesn’t have a girlfriend and Ryota tries to help him figure out why. Same director as Old Fashion Cupcake. It’s utterly charming. I am charmed. Also the framing is gorgeous (of course). Very stylish.

Love is Better the Second Time Around AKA Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 6fin - I don’t know. Kind of a flat ending with the leads apart for most of it. I enjoyed this show but it never really hit with me. 

Summation

After a teen betrayal and resulting separation a reporter reunites with his first love. That love wants him back. I enjoyed the authenticity of a reunion romance explored in Japan's quintessentially contemplative yet surreal way. The juxtaposition of the tenderness of the sex scenes with this Japanese style of authenticity was oddly elegant but all in all this still fell a little flat for me. There's nothing objectively wrong with it, but in total the narrative felt sluggish and the main couple were just... stiff (in the wrong way). Frankly, I'd rather just rewatch Tokyo in April is. 8/10

Love is like a Cat (Korea Mon Viki) eps 3-4 of 12 - What is going on with this show? No, I get the plot. I just don't get the show or why I’m watching it. Annoying. 

It's done, but I suck

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps

To Be Continued (Sat C3 Thailand grey) ep 7-8fin - I can't for the life of me find the final 2 episodes. Haven't had a real hunt, but yeah. No dice so far.

It's airing but...

Takumi-kun Series 6: Nagai Nagai Monogatari (Japan Furritsubs) eps 1-? of 10 - I may wait and binge it.

Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school. Not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing.

Kiseki Chapter 2 (Sun iQIYI) 6 eps - It’s so boring DNFed at 2.

Close Friend Season 3: Soju Bomb! (Weds iQIYI) 6 - The problem with situational comedy BL is it must be situational, comedic and a BL. This show gets 1 of 3 claims correct. 33% is not a passing grade. Dropped at 3.

Memory in the Letter (Thai WeTV) - only 4 eps, tell me if I should bother?

Next Week Looks Like This:

4/18 At 25:00 in Alaska AKA 25 Ji Akasaka de (Japan Thurs Gaga) 10 eps - Yuki lands his first starring role in a BL drama alongside superstar Asami (previously his senior at uni). Said superstar suggests they form a sham relationship until filming concludes. As they actually begin to fall in love, the spotlight begins to burn. I think I've seen this before (joke) and also the trailer doesn't inspire confidence.

Still to Come in April

4/25 Boys Be Brave! AKA Roommates (Korea Thurs Viki) 8 eps - Trailer Jung Ki Sub is Kim Jin Woo's slacker friend - and secret crush. So when Ki Sub crashes at his place, his heart tingles to be near him everyday. But as the short stay turns into permanent mooch, how long can Jin Woo keep his true feelings under wraps and hold back from confessing?

4/26 My Stand-In (Thai iQIYI) 12 eps - adaptation of Chinese novel "Professional Body Double" by Shui Qiang Cheng. Stars Up (Lovely Writer) and Poom (Bake Me Please) directed by the same team as KP (not a recommendation IMHO - my biggest criticism of that show was the clashing directing styles). This one looks complicated, lemme try: Joe is a stuntman for famous actor Tong. Joe falls in love with Ming but Ming sees Joe as nothing more than a Tong-replacement. After learning this horrible truth, Joe dies. Joe then wakes up in the body of another man also named Joe. He manages to rebuild the same life as before—with the same people eventually re-meeting Ming. Ming wants Joe back but Joe doesn't understand why. But Ming seems to know what's going on and wants to give him some kind of explanation.

I'm exhausted just trying to describe the plot.

Knock-Knock Boys (Thai WeTV) - 4 college friends conspire to help their friend lose his virginity. Familiar faces like Seng (yes, Billy's previous pairing) and Best, news here. But will it actually air this month?

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

NOTE: It looks like one of my personal favorites of last year Unintentional Love Story is getting a spin off!

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

Sniff test turning into a make out sesh? Please and thank you. City of Stars

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a bother.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy.

[thereadinggremlin]

Guarded Hearts pt 3

Summary: You find out Azriels your mate but you start getting the could shoulder from him after he returns from a mission.

Authors Note- Ok. I did it. Finally finished my first ACOTAR fanfic. I have ideas for more but if anyone has some send them my way. Anyways. Enjoy

As the shadow dissapeared and you heard Rhys’s voice you knew you were out of time. You started to grab your stuff for a quick getaway, not that you could winnow but you could fly pretty fast. Figuring he’d be there any minute you decided that leaving out the back door would give you a few minute head start. That idea was shattered as he showed up less than 30 feet away from you, for a moment you just stood there looking at him and then you shot to the skies, your stuff be damned.

You had some idea of where you were going but what you really needed was to just get away from him. Everything you were feeling was too much. Why would he send his shadows after you, he didn’t care, he made that evident in the way that he has ignored you for the last month. You had been up here for awhile before he probably even realized that you weren’t around.

You spent one spare second to look behind you and there he was hot on your heels and trying to catch up to you and then you felt a tug. You didn’t know your sheilds were down for that long unless…

You shit straight up knowing he would follow, you stopped and waited, as he appeared tou yelled to him “How long?” The hot tears pooling in your eyes.

He just stared at you, not saying anything, when you focused on the bond you felt a mix of sadness and happiness and knew that these were not your feelings.

“I will let you know when I’m ready, if you ask anyone or send your shadows after me, you will regret it.” You said as you flew away and left him there in the cold air with nothing but the feeling of betrayal and hurt coursing through the bond.

He didn’t know what to do. After you left he returned to the cabin and looked around, your books and other belongings still scattered all over the place. He started gathering all of them up to take them back home, he knew you wouldn’t return here since he found you but he did think that having them in your room at the house of wind would be better.

In your collection of books he found a notebook, it seemed like a journal or diary and it seemed you had started it just before you apparently left home. He dropped onto the couch to start reading and he closed off the bond again, he didn't want you to know he was snooping and he was too scared that if he didn’t guard himself all his feelings would go down the bond to you.

As he started to read, his heart fell into his stomach. He didn’t realize that his actions had hurt you so much, he thought he was protecting you. He didn’t want to rush you into the bond but apparently all he did was push you away.

He got halfway through the notebook when he saw one of your few entries since you arrived at the cabin

“Ive been at the cabin for a while and everyone’s left me alone, which is good, but I can’t help to think of Azriel has noticed if I left or not. Regardless of how he’s treated me recently I still love him, I can’t help but love him and right now, I don’t know if I like how I feel about it. I know he’s my mate but I can’t keep taking the heartbreak.”

He dropped the notebook. You knew. You knew and you never told him. He couldn’t get mad because he had known for a long time too. He was cursing himself from guarding the bond for so long, he could have avoided this whole thing if he just stopped to talk to you. He picked up all of your stuff and returned to the house of wind, he needed to make a plan and try to get you to forgive him.

You flew until your wings ached, the lake you always loved was quiet and serene. You always came here when you needed to think it was a secret spot only you and one other knew of. You didn’t get much time to yourself before he showed up.

“So you wanna talk about it?” Cassian drawled out.

“Is there really any point” you stated flatly “And how did you know if even be here?”

“Well I was around when Azriel was questioning Rhys and when he left I knew if he found you this would be the place you’d escape to” he gave you a small smile “I’m surprised that you beat me here honestly, I thought you forgot about this place.”

“I could never. This place is so peaceful, I just haven’t had the time to fly out” you said with a sad smile. After bad missions you and Cassian would come here to let the steam out, fight, cry, or just sit there quiet. After he found out Nesta was his mate the two of you sat here on the waters edge for hours while he just sat there and thought about her.

“You know he loves you” Cassian said taking you out of your memories. Startled you just stared at him “yeah I figured you didn’t know, he’s loved you for a long time”

“He’s my mate.”

“I know.” She looked at him, surprise cascading across her face.

“How did you know?”

“I’ve known since it snapped in place for him. I picked up on the little changes and all the glances he passed your way. Dudes whipped.”

You were baffled. Azriel felt the same and knows of the bond. So many emotions were coursing through you and your one thought was to tug on that string of warmth that you’ve felt in your chest. When you tugged on the bond, you were created with nothing but cold and darkness.

“What if I messed it all up?” You ask your friend.

“I can guarantee that you didnt. Rhys has been threatening me to come back and get that man under control because he’s acting strange and his shadows are no where to be found.” He paused as he looked at you “Leta go home, you don’t have to talk to him about everything today but at least try to slowly let him in.”

All you responded with was a nod of your head. You didn’t know what you’d do but you decided that you’ll find out once you see him in person.

The flight back to the house of wind was a quiet one, you and Cassian landed in the balcony outside of the dinning room thinking nothing much would be going on. As you both started to walk in you noticed that all your favorite flowers were delicately decorating the dinning room, it wasn’t too much but there were little touches here and there. You froze as you hear the familiar footfall of a certain shadow singer, they stopped abruptly so you know he noticed you.

Before either of you could say a thing Cassian cleared his throat “So are you just gonna stare at each other or……”

“You better leave them alone or I’m gonna beat your ass during training tomorrow” you heard Nesta yell from the hallway. A small smile graced your face as Cassian shrugged and left the two of you.

“I’m sor-“

“I’m so sorry I have been an asshole that was never my intention, I don’t want to push you away” Azriel blurted cutting you off. “I didn’t want to pressure you into anything and I wanted you to make your own decisions, you’ve turned into such a strong female that I never wanted to dim that or make you feel less because I think you deserve the world”

He was talking so fast it took a minute for your brain to catch on to what he was saying. He’s noticed everything and remembered it, and liked you more because of what you accomplished.

“Take your shield off of the bond.” You stated flatly. You needed to know if what he was saying truly matched how he felt. “Take your shield off and then we can discuss it all.”

Within an instant you felt everything; love, worry, agony, hopefulness. He truly wanted this life with you. As you looked into his eyes they matched all the feelings you were feeling down the bond.

You slowly started approaching him, staying slow as to not scare him but he still stiffened his back not knowing what you were going to do. You stood right in front of him looking up at his eyes and feeling his breath mingle with yours, you were both breathing heavy with anticipation. You leaned up and kissed him on his cheek.

“There’s a lot we need to talk about” his eyes sank a little as you spoke “but I really want to figure this out with you. Just don’t keep anything hidden from me, you know you can just talk to me.” You finished with a smile on your face.

Azriel smiled instantly at your words and before you could process it he picked you up and spun you around. As he was holding you he leaned in and kissed you. You were very surprised at the immediate affection from him but you weren’t gonna fight it because you had been dreaming of this day since you met him.

As he set you down he pulled back and was about to apologize but then he noticed the blush on your cheeks that spread to your ears. “We can talk about everything and anything you want.” He said instead

“Oh really? Then how about you tell me how it went back at the camp I grew up in when you were there to settle things.” You asked with a mischievous look in your eyes.

“Ok anything but that” Azriel responded with a chuckle, and it was the most beautiful sound you ever heard.

Maybe you two could get over this and have a beautiful life together and by the cauldron you sure hoped so.

Tag list: @crazylokonugget @kalulakunundrum @mp-littlebit @hnyclover @nickishadow139 @isa1b2h3

[bearyzdiary]

omg i got hit with the most insane simon brainrot and was dismayed thinking the fandom would be too small to find much fanfic for it so finding your acc was like finding water in a desert! if you still take requests, could you do something cute and a little angsty like a really bubbly and happy who befriends simon and is just really nice to him, always offering to hangout or bringing him little gifts bc that boy needs a hug so bad omg

It’s my love language!

Simon x reader

This diary entry contains…Can be seen as romantic or platonic|cute as hell!|Simon is a adorable|Reader's love language is touch and gift giving| reader helps simon with his deppression|

A/N:IM SO HAPPY TO BE KEEPING THE FANDOM ALIVE💁‍♀️💁‍♀️

You knew simon since the two of you were kids. He always was a quiet and slightly rude kid. You always watched him from afar until one day you had gifted him a juicebox. He looked at you crazy before taking it.

As you grew older, Simon became more closer to you. He never fully opened up to you but you didn't mind it. Once the two of you got to college, He made new friend named sophie. She was pretty and was like you. Simon seemed comfortable with her but not as comfortable as he was with you.

The two of you decided to hang out at his house as his mother wanted to see you. You agreeded as you missed her cooking as it reminded you of your childhood with Simon. The whole night you enjoyed your time. You even ended up learning how to make his favorite childhood meal.

He seemed happy to have you around again, You brought him out of his shell just like you did when you guys were kids. You knew what would cheer him and up and what wouldn't.

Since you loved to give gifts you always paid attention to what he was always looking at when you two went out. You would suprise him with the gift a week later. He slowly became more used to your gift giving.

He also began to get used to your love for physical touch. He learned how to cuddle and became more used to holding hands. Touch was something he wasnt used to but managed to enjoy it when it came to you.

You knew when to stop touching him and you knew when he was uncomfortable. It was something you learned as the two of you did more things together.

You taught him how to learn his own love language, Which is why he learned his love language was words of affirmation and touch. He loved telling you how pretty or how good you looked. He got used to you calling him sweet and cute things as well.

Soon he also felt comfortable with showing other people affection. It wasn't as strong as the affection he showed you but it was enough to the point that people knew he cared about them.

You always wanted to hang out with simon. You would make time in your day just where you and simon would do things together. Some times it would be at a nearby park, Most times it would be at his house. His mother loved when you would come over as you would offer to help simon clean his room when he would have one of his episodes.

You never judged as you would find random plates or really old clothes. You would help him wash whatever clothes or give his room a really well deep cleaning as you would both bond over a new episode of your favorite show. Sometimes if the both of you had enough money saved up you would go to your favorite diner and order each other food.

sometimes he would come over to your house and have a sleepover and you would make him do a fashion show. Sometimes the two of you would just lay in your bed and cuddle while going over things that happened at school.

of course, if Simon wasn't in a touching or loving mood you never forced him to cuddle you or tell you how nice you looked. You gave him personal space as you would tend to clean up around his house with the help of his mother.

You would then check up on him from time to time before leaving him to himself. Most of the time he would be sketching, playing video games, or just looking out the window.

Sometimes he would make a attempt to help you clean up before giving up. You never yelled at him but instead made it known you were thankful for his attempt in helping.

In the end. You cared and taught Simon a lot and he was forever grateful for you.

[litfeathers]

Before Hunter's Palisman Observations... Before Lilith's Letter... Before Luz's Diary Entry...

A witch's quill scratches on paper, her eyebrows furrowing in thought as she fills a well-worn book with her thoughts and desires and fears.

She smiles at the yellow bird who is fast asleep on her extra pillow, and with a snap of her fingers extinguishes the light spells that had been illuminating her cozy bedroom.

She sleeps.

She dreams…

She dreams of a strange world. A world without magic. A harsh world of rules, and penance, and fear.

A man stands in front of a bonfire, the glow of the firelight dancing on his wild blond hair. He is surrounded by a screaming crowd, torches and pitchforks and fists waving in the air.

"No," she begs. "No, no, no, no."

She calls his name over the cacophony of violent chanting, her voice muffled by the roar of the growing conflagration.

He turns.

She screams.

Blood. Smoke. Fire. The flash of a knife. It all happens too fast.

He is gone.

...and she wakes up.

Welcome to Evelyn's Journal.

Credits: -The phenomenal cover art was drawn by the absolute legend @bananadramaaa. Thank you so much for your help! -The script and Evelyn's voice were written and recorded by Birdie (that's me!) -It's probably pretty obvious, but this project was directly inspired by the audio recordings a few of TOH's VAs did for one of Dana's charity livestreams. Look them up if you have never heard them. They are fantastic!

The audio and script will also be available at AO3 on (or some time after) Sunday, March 26th. You may find it at litfeathers if you would like to give this project some love over there too!

The complete script can be found under the read more, so you may follow along if you wish.

Grab a snack and get comfy. We have an almost 15 minute runtime! Enjoy! 🔥🪶

Scaburary 10th

I had to cover for Bileadona at work. She never showed up for her shift, and so Goldie and I were forced to make an unexpected trip to Bonesborough.

Extra disappointing, since I was planning to spend the afternoon in the garden with my sketchbook. I wanted to redo my blue jay drawing, as I am not quite satisfied with it.

Ah, well. I’ll draw in the garden tomorrow.

Scaburary 11th

UUUGHHH DAMN RAIN!

Goldie has been moping and staring out the window at the sizzling forest all morning, desperately wishing she could have her early morning flight through the trees. I have given her a handful of seeds to help her feel better. She seems pouty still, but has cheered up slightly. She is currently ordering the seeds from most to least appealing. Heh. This should take her a while.

Only two days are left!

Scaburary 13th

Work, work, work. I couldn’t stop watching the sunlight and shadows slowly move across the library floor and sighing impatiently. Bileadona happened by my cart as I was shelving books, and asked why the calendar at my desk is so strange. I told her it was an old-fashioned solar calendar from the bloodievil period. She didn’t seem to buy it, but didn’t push the subject.

I also made a quick…detour before I went home. Just to say hello to some dear friends. Some very special friends who are going to severely regret their actions from last week.

*evil witch cackle*

As an added bonus, I finally managed to nab one of their…creative drawings of me. It is now proudly displayed on my living room wall, just above the couch. Truly, it is a work of art, and I am humbled by their kindness.

I just hope they find my return offering just as humbling ehehehehe.

I have been getting more and more excited for every visit to the Human Realm. Not that I have been there recently. I most definitely have not. Don’t be absurd.

But anyway. This week has dragged endlessly! I cannot wait for tomorrow.

It’s nice to have a friend.

Scaburary 14th, Human Realm year 1623

Today was nice.

It was a Friday in Human reckoning, so Caleb and I enjoyed the usual supper on a blanket in the snowy woods. I made sure to include dragon bacon sandwiches and deviled griffin stew in the spread, as they are his favorites. And of course, a thermos of hot apple blood to warm us up. It was a marvelous feast!

He looks a bit better lately. His skin is less pale, and the shadows under his eyes are less prominent.

The moment I landed at at our spot, Caleb immediately asked me if I had anything to do with the recent vandalism of the Gravesfield meetinghouse. I plead innocent. He grimly informed me that someone had scribbled all over the siding, and that one of the drawings bore a striking resemblance to Goldie. I expressed my deepest sympathies for the poor soul who would have to clean it up. He further informed me that the words “Evie was here” were scrawled over the front door. I told him that since my given name isn’t Evie, it’s Evelyn, he was clearly looking for another culprit. He grabbed me by the shoulders, looked me dead in the eye, and told me, in the most fed-up of tones, that the drawings could move.

“Huh,” I said. “In that case, it sounds like you might have a witch on your hands. I hear they are pretty tricky to deal with, but seeing as you are such an expert witch hunter, you surely won’t have a problem rooting her out!”

At that he made such a ridiculously frustrated face, I could no longer hold in my laughter. It was the look he gets where his cheeks flush and his nose flares. The red even reached his ears this time! Fantastic.

He gave up at that point. He just sighed deeply and shook his head. But I could tell he was desperately trying to hold back a smile.

While we enjoyed our meal, we got on the topic of weather. After my previous deception, he didn’t quite believe me when I told him that rain boils in the Demon Realm. When I cast an illusion to show him a typical Boiling Isles thunderstorm, his eyes lit up brighter than the sun. As fun as it is to tease and banter with him, I think I vastly prefer those quiet moments between us. When the storm clouds lift from his eyes.

*trails off*

I can tell he’s lonely.

Last week, while we were on our owl watch, he mentioned offhandedly that he hasn’t received a proper hug in years.

I was about to feign ignorance and pretend to not know what a hug is, until I realized that…err. Well, we are two galdorpeas in a pod in that regard, aren’t we?

And no, I did not offer myself up. Because some walls are built for a reason.

Caleb is surrounded by pitchforks and torches and prying eyes.

His village is dangerous.

His brother has been asking more and more…questions.

I know I shouldn’t keep doing this. I know I can’t keep doing this. There is a line, and I am terrified that I am gleefully dancing towards it, and one day I am going to be unable to stop myself from crossing into something…

*deep sigh*

…something I cannot come back from.

I am unwilling to admit this anywhere but here. And this is difficult to write, even if my eyes are the only ones that will ever read it. But…

He scares me.

Hah! How silly is that? We’re the closest of friends. I am a powerful adult witch. And I am scared of him?

It makes no sense. Witch hunter my butt! I trust him completely. He is kind. Sweet, even. No matter how much sass and grumpiness he sprinkles into his words, it is abundantly clear that his heart is made of pure gold. His smile could melt snow. His soft words could tame the wildest slitherbeast. His laugh is pure music.

*embarrassed cough*

So, then. Why the fear? Why have I been finding myself so on edge around him lately? It’s incredibly frustrating.

Words are difficult to get out. My pulse quickens when he sits too close. I can no longer look him in the eye without my face heating up. What else could cause this but fear? It is clearly my body warning me that what I am doing is incredibly foolish.

Or perhaps it’s just the apple blood.

*sighs in frustration, then there is a long moment of silence*

No. I’m not that naive. I know it’s not the apple blood. It’s just that…I’m…

I’m not ready.

I don’t have much more I would like to say on this topic, so I suppose I shall end this entry and tuck myself into bed with a good book. Perhaps Goldie would like for me to read her another story.

Here’s hoping for some nice dreams. Titan willing.

Goodnight.

Scaburary 15th

I had the day off from work. I tried to draw in the garden, but my redo of the blue jay sketch came out even worse than the original. I ended up spending most of my day on the couch, half paying attention to a book I could barely focus on enough to read.

I had dreams last night. Dreams I absolutely refuse to relive by writing them down.

Please. Please, please, please let tonight be better.

Scaburary 16th

Oh, Titan. I hate this.

I have made a decision. A decision I am absolutely miserable to be making.

It’s something I can absolutely not back out on. Something I should have done ages ago.

Something I should have done before I got…attached.

No matter what, this will end in pain. But it must end. Before he is harmed. Or worse. I know what I must do. But it hurts. I have to protect him. This week will be rough. Please wish me luck and courage.

Scaburary 17th My chest hurts. My eyes are sore. Everyone has been giving me space at work. I am sure they can tell something is very wrong, but no one has pried. At least I managed to keep it together until I was halfway home. Be proud of my fortitude.

After I was done being sorry for myself, I got an idea. I am unsure if I will be able to follow through with my plan. But if I can find my courage, perhaps I can at least try.

When we say our goodbyes, I can at least ensure Caleb still has a friend.

I haven’t carved a palisman in years. Not since I made Goldie with Mother and Father. And not since they…

*chokes up for a second*

I don’t even know if I remember how. But there is a grove of healthy palistrom trees in the backyard. And I still have my knife.

I even know what he would want.

Fine. Tomorrow I will start carving.

Scaburary 18th I opened my journal to write, but I have nothing substantial to say. This week has been miserable. I wish it were Friday so I could get this over with. Goldie keeps offering me seeds to cheer me up. I’m sorry, Goldie. I appreciate the gesture, but not everything can be fixed with a tasty seed.

Scaburary 19th I sent Goldie to deliver my final rebus message. I got such an excited response back, I nearly lost it again. He has heard a saw-whet owl in the woods by the fields. He wants to take me out there to listen for it. Sounds lovely. I suppose it’s nice to look forward to one last owl watch. What should I do with the remaining Titan’s blood? Dispose of it? Donate it to a researcher? All I know is that I cannot keep the vials. Lest I be…tempted. I’ll miss the birds. Caleb’s gift is drying on the kitchen table. I wonder what wish he will make.

Scaburary 20th I am surprisingly calm. There is something to be said for allowing yourself to…feel. To let your emotions exist, acknowledge them, let them out. That isn’t typically how I operate, but perhaps it can be advantageous to…sometimes…occasionally…not bury everything? As much as I hate to admit it. I was even able to laugh at Goldie’s antics. She brought home a rattle worm and pretended to feed it to our new scarlet friend. She even feigned offense when he refused her gift by remaining silent and wooden. Silly bird! I don’t know what I would ever do without her. I think I will be fine. Once the dust settles. We will all be fine.

Scaburary 22nd I do not know where to start. It is late evening. I am sitting here in bed, journal in lap, as usual. But Goldie is perched on my shoulder instead of her usual spot on my extra pillow. Because my extra pillow is occupied. It is occupied by a blond human and a small red bird. Oh. He just reached out in his sleep to hug my waist. I suppose I’m trapped now. I’ve never been so happy. I’ve never been so happy, and yet so anxious? I can’t stop smiling. I don’t think I’ve stopped smiling or swooning or giggling since last night! How embarrassing. How completely and utterly embarrassing! ...Goldie, I know you are reading this. I can hear you laughing! Quit it! I think I’m still in a bit of shock-GOLDIE THIS IS PRIVATE. I haven’t quite processed any of this-I KNOW YOU CAN FEEL MY EMOTIONS AND HEAR MY THOUGHTS! I DON’T CARE! YOU’RE STILL BEING NOSY. WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE WERE BOTH SO OBVIOUS? I SAID STOP LAUGHING!!! Fine. You were right. Is that what you wished to hear? Are you happy now, you smug little feather brain? Good. Anyway. Where was I? Everything happened so…fast. The last 24 hours have been absolutely wild. And terrifying. And…intense. But I think I can finally admit something important, even if it’s only here for now. Let’s see if I can manage to actually write it. Goodness, my hand is shaking. Alright. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. Here goes… *swoons a little* I’m in love. Goodnight, everyone. Sweet dreams. *snaps fingers, and light spells are extinguished* Sung: You are not alone No matter how far you have flown Together we feel we’re at home In darkness light shines in your bones *As she hums the song fades out*

[rootsofdread]

Hello Hello!! Since you do write poly relationships I was wondering if you could headcanons for poly legion crushing on a survivor reader please! I'd really appreciate it <3

POLY REQUEST 💕💕💕💕

Frank Morrison / The Legion:

You know Frank likes you pretty much from the beginning. He takes extra time to hang out with you, he’s always overly comfortable and casual with you, always joking around and slinging his arm around your shoulders. He’s even the one who introduced you personally to the rest of the Legion — Susie seemed kind of jumpy, but they all seemed happy to meet you. Strangely happy, you though, but…anything’s okay as long as you’re not being murdered or stabbed, you supposed. He loves getting you to spend time with him and the other members, he enjoys seeing you get so close with everybody else. It seems to make him genuinely, really happy.

Julie Kostenko / The Legion:

Julie tries not to make it too obvious that she likes you, she acts cool when she’s in a trial with you but gives you a little wave when she sees you outside of one. The other members, particularly Joey, like teasing her about you in front of you (while still being a bit vague). She hates it. But in secret, she fawns over you with the other three members. You’d never guess, but she’s completely lovestruck — and you’re not even her type, which has shocked all of them, including her. But in a way…it’s exciting that she’s fallen for someone so different from all the other people she’s had crushes on. You’re new and vibrant to her, even if you don’t think of yourself that way.

Susie Lavoie / The Legion:

Susie frequently gushes about you to the rest of the Legion, particularly Julie, but she’ll talk about you to any member who’ll listen. She’ll usually do this while drawing little doodles of either her and you, or all five of you together, with a bunch of little hearts drawn all over it and glittery stickers. She just loves talking about you to the other three, and hearing them gush about you too. Her diary becomes full of entries about you, and she’s always trying to spend time with you, usually by asking to swap places with one of the other members when they’re called into a trial, hoping she’ll see you there. She’s a little obsessed, if you couldn’t tell, but it’s mostly the other three that have to deal with it.

Joey / The Legion:

Joey has, honestly, always been pretty open about how he feels towards you. At first, with you, like he was with every other survivor, he was cold and kind of rude. But you noticed the slow, subtle changes in his demeanor as he warmed up to you, and even seemed to start liking you. He began having a clear preference for you over other survivors, which seemed to tick everyone else off but you were happy at least being chosen last to be hooked. Whenever he’s with any of the other members, you’ll see him point you out to them and whisper, and they share a sly little smile. You know, thanks to Joey, they all seem to have a thing for you.

[cloverandstuff]

CHARACTER DESCRIPTION/ANALYSIS IN ALIEN STAGE

MIZI

First up, we have Mizi! Our lovely little pink-haired lady who was the most cheerful and optimistic of the bunch.

Lets starts with some of the basic stuff and then we'll love on to the more complicated things.

[Please be aware that I am using everything that is freely available and I may not know anything about any of the paywalled Patreon Posts and such]

Canon and Basic Information

Mizi grew up in the Anakt Garden with Ivan, Till, and Sua. We can assume that Luka and Hyuna were in a different 'batch'.

If you go to the official Alien Stage website that showcases all of the members profiles, we can find some information about Mizi.

Now, we have to be careful cause this can both be canon but also also from the POV of the alien caretakers.

This page says that Mizi is 22 years old, 162cm tall and weighs 50kg. This is all facts. What's also there is her likes and dislikes.

She doesn't have any uncrypted dislikes that we can read but there are some likes which are available for us to read. They are the Anakt-made artificial flower and toothbrush. This is what was available to me on the Official Alien Stage website.

Alien Stage Official Website

However recently, the official profiles were released that showcase more information! Here, we find that Mizi's birthday, which is still questionable due to the way that human pets are obtained, is on the August 20th.

We also find that her ID no is 020205, and thats she is affiliated with the 50th Anakt Garden.

Here, we can find that Mizi's disliked consist of vegetables and studying, which are relatively abnormal for the situation she is in.

This is all infortmation that can easily be obtained from the official site for the show. It may or may not be well known, but they are shown under the character's profile description.

Her segyein parent is named Guardian Shine and it is stated in the artbook that the scene of Mizi saying goodbye to her was described as "a mother seeing her daughter".

Semi-Canonical (Still mostly Canon)

Now we reach the parts where Im analysing a little but its seems pretty much canon.

This is mainly be circulating around the patreon posts by Vivinos and other such stuff. I will try my best to link everything I can.

First up, the lovely messages that everyone gives!!

This is where I got the lovely translations from!

Now, if we read through all the messages that Mizi gives the others, we notice one thing very quickly; all her messages are all very long, detailed and often seem sincere. At least, more so than any of the others.

She will compliment them in earnest and go on a bit of a ramble, as though she's writing down whatever immediately comes to her head. They are all still very kind and sincere, showing just how good of a person Mizi was.

In the messages board for her, it seems that all the note-makers knew Mizi and thought very positively of her. Another thing that two messages mention is the fact that Mizi has in fact seen the ocean and speaks of it very fondly.

Next up, the Diary Entries from Field Day!

This Official Patreon Post (This is freely available)

This is where we get a glimpse into other talents that Mizi has besides music. It seem pretty obvious that Mizi is the most athletic out of her group, seeing how she placed first in several of the events.

She also enjoys and shows pride in her accomplishments. She talks about how she can't wait to write to her guardian about it.

While we are aware that the guardians do keep track of thw children, Mizi is the only one out of all of them who seems to be in contact with them on her own volition and actively looks foward to it. This furthur cements how good of a childhood Mizi seemed to have with her guardian.

Now, we look at the interviews involving Mizi and Sua

The Official Post about for the BTS Interview of Sua and Mizi

In this, we'll be placing more focus on Mizi. But I will be doing Sua after this.

Mizi, throughout the entire interview, seems to be genuinely excuted to be a part of alien stage. She doesn't seem to realize the true horror of the event for humans.

It also makes it clear just how much of her dream goal seemed to involve Sua. She wanted to perform with Sua on the big stage ever since she was little.

These two spent their time watching the night sky when the celings opened up and talk about what they could see. They also spent their mandatory playtime together, singing most of the time.

I'll go into more detail about the aspect of their relationship eventually but for now, it's more about Mizi.

It's also made clear that despite everything that Mzi was passionate about, she despised studying and was bad enough at them tha she required extra classes.

She also shows a fascination with her home planet, Earth and would declare the spaceships she couldn't see clearly as Earth.

We also now know she needed glasses because her vision was horrible. She got them while she was in the Anakt Garden.

Mizi very specifically says 'parents' in the interview, ans not her guardian. This seems to go to show just how close of a relationship she had to her guardian. She is excited to hear from them, cares about their opinion, and shares her wants with them, which they actively supply for.

And the final part, which I think could be the most heartbreaking;

Mizi is fully unaware that those who losein Anakt Garden will die. She believes that if she loses, she will just go back to the Garden. She fully believes that if she won, it would be with Sua, wanting to perform with her for as long as possible.

She didn't know about the truth of Alien Stage and it doesn't seem like ayone bothered to correct her on this.

[This will be continued but i had this in the drafts for so long, I thought I may as well post what I had]

[blushcoloreddreams]

7 tips for a thriving journal

Hello and welcome back to the blog my love!

I have been move to speak on the matter of journaling many times before, and today, with the new years spirit still around and everyone adding goals and new habits to their lives, I thought it would be nice to take pen to paper or rather... binary code to screen, and discuss the 7 ways you can improve your journaling life!

1. Read more

I’ll have to be honest with you guys ... the fact is that you are NEVER going to enjoy writing unless you also enjoy READING the written word. Now, we don't need to be cozying up in the evening with our personal diaries as reading material, but I have found that the more I read, the better (and more frequently) I write!

Reading more will stimulate your writing, inspire your words, and most of all, remind you that plenty of people have written millions of words on paper, and you can get through a daily journal entry. ;)

2. Get a pen you actually like

This might sound crazy, but I promise that you WILL write more if you enjoy the type of pen you're using. When I switched over to a really inky black gel pen, I found my cursive gliding over the page at RECORD speeds! It was simply a joy to write! So ditch that creepy pencil, say no to promotional pens, and pick out a cute gel pen!

3. Bring your journal with you everywhere

Most of us don't sit down at 8pm every evening and take pen to paper, outlining our days. Most of us have fluctuating schedules, thought-lives, and energy levels. I have found that bringing my journal with me has helped me write more often, get better ideas, and just... enjoy writing much more!

It changes from a chore to a full-on CHOICE! I encourage you to get a smallish journal and pull that baby out when you're waiting at the dealership, grabbing a coffee, or just... killing time while waiting for your date! It definitely beats scrolling through Instagram, and you will find that catching your most interesting thoughts before they flutter away is HIGHLY satisfying!

4. Use it to sort out your emotions

I remember tearing into my bedroom after a particularly negative ninth grade school day. I threw myself on my bed, snatched a pretty journal I had but never had found use for and began furiously writing about being ditched by my friends after a some intense political debate that took over not only school but the country in 2018 and even if I stayed neutral at the time, the opinion of people close to me was enough for them to slowly exclude me. Instead of wailing, crying, or screaming at my friends, I screamed at my journal. And it was SATISFYING!

As an adult reading back on my impassioned ninth grade emotions, it's shocking to me how intense I felt at the time, but I also find myself feeling quite grateful to have those feelings immortalized forever. I've always done this: recorded my intense emotions, good OR bad. When I fall in love with, my journal becomes filled with my heart's longings and thoughts from our very first weeks. I promise you, either way It’s a cathartic experience that will not only help you process and rationalize what you feel at that moment but also record those feelings and adventures for the future.

When I went through grief and really bad times, my feelings were also sprawled across the pages forever. And sometimes, I like to reflect upon those feelings to remind myself how far I've come, or of what our first love felt like. Journaling helps you work through your emotions, but it also helps catalogue your life in a really meaningful way. Try taking to the pages when you're struggling, in pain, or feeling supremely happy. :)

5. Rotate your writing & topics

In order to stimulate your writing, it's important to rotate through different topics AND different styles of writing. Instead of just writing daily journal entries about your life, try your hand at different categories. I enjoy writing short stories, poetry, daily diary entries, personal thoughts about cultural and social current events, things I wanna learn more about, my goals and future blog ideas!

You could write song lyrics, poetry, novel ideas, blog ideas; the sky is the limit! I encourage you also to not only try writing about different topics, but also try rotating the WAY you write as well. You don't necessarily need to write with a physical pen on paper every time either. Sometimes I prefer opening up google docs, or even this very blog!

6. Use it to connect with God

I like to write out my prayers sometimes... especially if they're really meaningful like prayers of repentance, supplication, or long lists of what I'm grateful to God for. It can help to stimulate your prayer life, AND keep a record of your personal spiritual breakthroughs.

7. Write letters to people

When my father died, we haven’t been in contact for a while but I felt like I still had much to say, words that I wished I had externalized before his passing. However there was nothing stopping me to write to him, even if it felt a bit silly and I knew he’d never read them, it could help calm my mind. So I decided to writing him a few letters could help me cope better with what had just happened, better understand our relationship and even myself.

Now, at first, it can sound pretty unappealing to write to someone who couldn't write back, but before I knew it, it felt like one of the best cathartic experiences I ever had. When my beloved great grandma passed I found myself writing longer and longer letters, detailing different thoughts, and even throwing in some creative writing. I spent so much time sharing my thoughts, feelings, ideas, and heart, that by the end of this all, I felt like I was already in the habit of daily journaling LOL!

So, if you need a spark for your writing habits, I encourage you to start sending some letters to your family members, friends or find a pen pal, I actually loved writing letters on peoples birthdays when I was younger and it was something I really enjoyed rediscovering. Even if the person doesn't write back much, it can really jumpstart your writing!

That's all I have for today my loves! I hope you feel inspired to start writing. Remember, if the notebook life doesn't work out for you, it's okay to turn to the digital keyboard! Just keep trying different angles until you settle on the right formula for you.

xoxo, Julia

[murderoushagthesequel]

Little Black Book

from @jegulus-microfic's prompt, jealous (305 words)

i wrote!!! are you guys proud of me c: ? one would think this would be a pretty easy prompt to come up with an idea for (at least i did) but it was honestly so hard which is part of the reason it took me almost a week to write. but i really like how it ended up! so hopefully i'll get back to a bit of writing in the coming days but enjoy some fluffy silly jegulus <3.

“James!” Regulus exclaims walking into the bedroom. “Where did you even find that?” James giggles, picking up the black book beside him on the bed.

“You recognize it, do you?” he asks teasingly. Regulus lurches forward to try and grab the book away but James is, quite annoyingly, much taller than him, and can simply stand up to get out of his reach. Regulus huffs and crosses his arms, glaring up at James in defeat.

“James I swear to Merlin if you read anything in that book I’ll-” Regulus starts, but before he can finish, James cuts him off.

“You’ll what?” he flips to a page in the book. “Pull off my head like a muggle Barbie doll?” Oh. Regulus had forgotten he’d written that. “Or was that just what you wanted to do to Lily?” James is hardly keeping it together, clearly trying not to laugh at Regulus’ awful teenage diary entries.

“Yes, actually. I will if you don’t give that thing back to me.”

“Jealous little thing, weren’t you?” James says with a huge grin on his face. Regulus scowls yet again, ready to make a snarky remark yet again. “I like that.” Regulus looks James in the eye and winks before grabbing the book from his hand and running away around the apartment.

He and James chase each other around laughing and tripping over furniture until they eventually both end up on the ground, out of breath, the diary safely in Regulus’ arms.

“Fuck you,” Regulus laughs. “I can’t believe you read my Hogwarts diary.”

“Yes well the diary does say you wanted to fuck me-”

“Shut up!” Regulus exclaims in another fit of giggles. “You’re lucky I love you, idiot.”

“That I am,” James confirms with a smile.

“I still am a jealous little thing though,” he adds.

“That you are.”

[thewindencrestroyals]

New Header and Profile Picture of Her Majesty Queen Victoria II Through her Reign.

Her Majesty Queen Victoria II Through the years Starting with Her Majesty The First week of her Reign. Still in mourning of her late 'Papa' His Majesty King Edward III, She is usure about her Reign ahead and finding her footing as a Brand New Queen at the age of 21 whilst also dealing with the mental and physical toll of becoming 'The Queen of Windencrest'. The first years of Windecrests monarchs are vital, they are historically known to truly Make or Break a Monarch. Secondly we have Her Majesty as a more mature and confident Queen, comfortable in her Reign. She has been through a lot of trails and tribulations and has seen Great Monarchies fall around her. Her Majesty has remained strong and an icon of enourmous stability in times of global unrest such as wars and Revolts and made it through the hardest years of her Reign which have truly made Her Majesty, The Queen she is Today. Lasty we have Her Majesty in her current Era, an older woman but a strong and steadfast leader. Respectable, wise and knowleagable in the final years of her enourmously successful Reign. She is becoming ready to pass The Crown down to her Son HRH Albert, The Prince of Windenburg. She continues to be a beacon of stability and light for the great people of Windencrest and has earned her spot as 'The Longest Reigning Monarch in the World' and loved by all across The Globe coining her as ‘Queen Victoria The Great’.

Summary: this little photoshoot which i have redone to have the time accurate models is inspired by 'The Crown Season 6' poster of the 3 Queens throughout their reign. I wanted to sort of copycat it and not to blow my own trumpet but i think ive done pretty well lmao. i hope you enjoyed this little bit of lore and a little window into Her Majesties life! ive been having so much fun with this new tumblr recently however i may have to go on a hiatus a little bit, but fear not i will be active behind the scenes to answer questions and stuff. also how would you guys feel about me posting threads of just stories atm and when i can ill add in some photos for a visual reference because i have some stories already written out in my notes app on my phone and i think it wuld be pretty fun to share them for example 'The Diary of The Princess Victoria of Great Newcrest' which has a few entrys about her royal life as a princess before becoming Queen but also finding out she was going to become Queen at around 5 years old and meeting HM Prince Consort George for the first time and how their love came to be, i would also like to share their entire Royal Family Tree aswell which makes up of 23 Generations but also the sim models but maybe that can be something else i start. Anyways finally i hope youve enjoyed please like and reblog it helps me out so much :)

'God Save The Queen!'

[yumedoca]

Why ‘Last Date’ is the my favorite Ataru focused chapter - An Analysis 🧐 (Long Post)

Hai there, hope you’re having a great day! Today on ‘Yuca Analyzes Silly Things (For No Reason)’,  we’ll be talking about what I believe to be the best Ataru storyline written, which is ‘Chapter 247: Last Date’.

Note: All of the facts and evidence and such are taken from the manga because: a) it’s the canon source, b) the og anime changes a lot in relation to the story and character to the point it isn’t consistent and c) it hasn’t been adapted in the remake (yet…).

Also, We’re going to be analyzing this chapter according to the story progression, so we’re going page by page. I’ll skip the bits which don’t need analysis and focus on the ones that do.

With all of that aside, let’s begin!

The chapter starts of with Nozomi’s (The ghost girl) diary entry of the ‘wonderful gentleman’ she admires from her window…

To those who aren’t aware of how this chapter was pushed into existence, here’s a bit from an interview with Takahashi’s editor at the time, Tomofumi Arito:

First up, I like how Nozomi falls for Ataru. Because of Ataru’s flirtatious and womanizing habits, women can easily understand how he is from meeting him. But in Nozomi’s case, since she could’ve only seen Ataru from her window (and here we’re assuming he hasn’t flirted at all from where she can see), all she sees is a young man who’s very energetic and happy, in contrast to her who is sick and unwell. This small part of his personality (even if it is fueled by his lust to chase women, but she doesn’t know that…) has managed to capture her heart. It’s quite difficult to write an everyday woman to fall for someone like Ataru (Lum is not an everyday woman, is she?), so to make the woman who falls for him someone who couldn’t get close to him and only observe him from afar, and only a little bit because of personal restrictions is basically a small but genius writing move from Takahashi’- sensei’s part. Also, Fun fact: Nozomi’s name means ‘Hope’, which is pretty symbolic as well. Moving on…

Now we’ll skip to the part where Nozomi asks Ataru to wear the sweater she knit him (on a very hot day)…

This is one of those times where Ataru’s kinder side shows through, it’s a pretty obvious scenario to understand however it’s a bit deeper than just that… You see back in the three parter storyline ‘O, Rain! Rain and Rain More!’, Ataru had the choice to go on date a very beautiful girl to free her from a curse of a rain spirit. He accepted to do this very kind deed, but his intentions weren’t the purest…

Compare that with this chapter (which takes place around 150 chapters later), You can see that Ataru’s doing a kind deed again, but unlike last time, he has absolutely nothing to gain from it: He goes on a date with a cute ghost girl but he can’t enjoy it because it’s too hot and after the date is successful, she’ll end up resting in peace, so he can’t be lovers with her. Yet, he still goes on this date because he felt sorry for poor Nozomi and he didn’t want to disappoint her. Now that’s what I call ‘👏 Character Development!! 👏’

Now we take a small break from analyzing the Ataru stuff, because there’s something else I love in this chapter which I want to point out… and that is…

…Lum

Okay, so what I love about Lum in this chapter is how the usual jealous girl acts towards the whole situation. When she hears Sakura request Ataru to go on a date, she was pretty mad. But when she sees that he was supposed to go on a date with a ghost so she would rest in peace, she understood the gravity of the situation and that it was to help someone instead of being jealous like usual. She even tried persuading him to wear the sweater when he initially refused..

It really shows how much Lum has grown from her antagonist days (Oh, and if you were wondering she wasn’t jealous in the rain girl chapter as well, which just means character development struck her quite early). This is also one of those things which is only there in the manga, the original anime adaptation has extra scenes of her being jealous and being mad at Ataru for going on the date and making her seem unsympathetic (even though the persuading scene from above was still left intact? Like, what was even the point?) I’m sorry for rambling, this change just pisses me off so much, like even Sakura points out her behavior in the episode… …Now, back to Ataru!

The next thing we’ll talk about is the end of the date and when Nozomi finally rests in peace…

First, I find it so sweet how Ataru’s expression changes as Nozomi fades away, you can really see that she has made an impression on him, and of course the last three panels… Ataru stating that he’ll wear those a bit longer, despite how hot it must’ve been, because he didn’t have the heart to take it off is so damn sweet and cute… and from that we go into the final page of the chapter…

I Love This Page. No, seriously, if I could pick my favorite page from the manga, this is it.

I love how Ataru visits Nozomi’s grave later on, he didn’t have to, yet he still did it anyways. That was very thoughtful of him. Not everyone would go to the grave of someone who they have never seen before in their life till a single date.

I love how Lum calls him ‘kind’, Ataru rarely receives genuine compliments and he very well deserved this one.

I love how Ataru’s reaction to Lum’s words, he doesn’t usually get genuine compliments but he acts like it no big deal and that it’s something anyone will do (There are some people who wouldn’t), compared to his usually selfish demeanor.

I love the way Lum looks at Ataru, a gaze filled with love 💕.

I love how Lum wishes to be a ghost so she could be treated the same way Nozomi was, that just shows how much she wants Ataru to show his love.

I love how Ataru calls her stupid right after that because her being a ghost would mean that he would lose her and that’s the last thing he would want and finally…

I love the bittersweet feeling this page leaves me with. Usually every time a chapter ends with a sweet moment between Ataru and Lum, I feel soft and happy. This is one makes me feels kinda soft because of Ataru’s kindness, kinda sad because Lum wants Ataru to open up his feelings so much that she wished to be a ghost and kinda happy because Ataru calling her stupid reassures her that in the sense he does care for her. No other page really makes me feel like this. It gives me chills. Even Takahashi- Sensei has stated that this page ‘made a tingle run up her spine’ while drawing it, to quote from the continuation of the interview from above as stated by Arito- San:

In conclusion, ‘Last Date’ is my favorite Ataru focused chapter because of how Ataru’s portrayed in it, It’s a chapter, which shows how much he has grown from how he was before. It shows that Ataru can kind and caring to anyone. I also like how this chapter as a whole doesn’t focus on Ataru and Lum’s relationship but rather Ataru’s character instead. I wholeheartedly believe the reason Ataru has changed as a person was because of Lum’s love for him and his caring nature for her has expanded towards others as time went on. It’s exactly how you write a romantic relationship: their main character trait isn’t the other person, instead they both leave a positive impact on each other so the other grows, as in they are strong as individuals, but it’s only because of the other. They are written with that in mind and that’s why I love them 💕. Thanks for taking time to read this analysis and I hope I was able to show you why I love this chapter so much. I hope I managed to do this chapter justice because it’s amazing. Thanks to everyone who voted for the poll I held before, and those who voted for the other options, don’t worry I’ll eventually get to them as well. I also apologize if I’ve overlooked anything or made any mistakes. If you have any doubts or questions about this analysis feel free to send an ask and if you want me to do an analysis about other characters, feel free to send an ask for that as well. You can check out my other analysis on my analysis tag.  And finally, likes are appreciated and reblogs are even more appreciated (seriously, please reblog this so more people can see this post, since I spent a lot of time on this!!). Hope you have a great day ahead!! 💕

[crissiebaby]

Double Diaper Dare: Chapter 10

DISCLAIMER: This story contains diaper usage, public humiliation, masturbation/diaper sex, WAM, hypermessing, hypnosis, diaper filling, slime transformation, and other ABDL themes. I hope you enjoy!

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Codi’s Diary: Entry 141 (Cont.)

So I suppose this would be a good time to address the diaper-obsessed elephant in the room. No amount of self-education on the subject of sex could’ve prepared me for what it would be like to live with someone whose brain was wired to think uncontrollably horny thoughts seemingly 24/7. In that regard, Crissie was in a league of her own. From the moment I set foot in that nursery, I could practically feel her hungry, lustful eyes watching me at all times. And trust me, I have zero interest in knowing what depraved ideas must’ve been churning in her head the entire time. 

Needless to say, whatever sexual desires I had for myself had to be put on the back burner all thanks to one obnoxiously kinky brat. Not that I wasn’t still horny. (I very much was.) It was just that anytime I showed even the slightest hint of being aroused, Crissie would leap at the opportunity to tease and embarrass me. It was beyond frustrating since it pretty much meant I had to be on guard around her at all times.

Eventually, I became sort of numb to her antics. That being said, after looking back over the last paragraph, I feel I’ve been a tad harsh. It’s not like I hate Crissie. She can be very kind and fun to be around given the right circumstances. I just wish she’d demonstrate even a modicum of self-control because the moment diapers are in play, rational thought goes out the window with her. 

At least, that’s what I thought…

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Exiting the portal, Codi found herself standing before a large, mostly empty room with a ceiling as tall as a warehouse. Unlike Jane’s office, this place was nowhere near as warm and cozy, causing her to fold her arms over her chest. “Where did she send us this time?” she said to herself, sighing as she looked around the massive space, finding various pieces of machinery scattered about.

Thankfully, Crissie wasn’t far behind to answer Codi’s question. “Welcome to the central testing chamber of CrissBaby HQ!” she said, throwing her arms up in jubilation. Sadly, her excitement wasn’t shared by Codi in the slightest. She slowly lowered her arms, “Ahem, w-we shouldn’t have to worry about anyone happening by us for a while. Ya know, with it being nighttime and all.”

Having previously read through several of Crissie’s Test Dummy chapters, Codi was well aware of what kinds of mischief went on in here. “Well then, what’s the plan? You gonna fill my diaper up with oatmeal or force me into that locking onesie? Ooh! Maybe you’ll use that rose aphrodisiac on me and get me all hot and bothered!” she said facetiously, her words dripping with sarcasm. In reality, she had no idea what Crissie was planning but that didn’t mean she had to act like it.

Crissie responded as expected, “N-No! There’s a ton of other cool stuff in here that I haven’t even written about yet, just you wait!” She pouted as she looked around the room, hoping to come up with Codi’s next dare quickly. Since she already knew about the filling machine and the rose aphrodisiac, she was going to have to make up something even more blushy, “Let’s just look around for now. See what we can find.”

“Hmmm, I’ve got a better idea,” said Codi, a pair of metaphorical horns growing atop her head, “Why don’t we each find one invention for the other to try? Then we can do our next dares together.” 

Crissie’s eyes lit up upon hearing Codi’s idea, never once thinking about what slime girl was plotting. “That sounds super fun!” she said, happy to see that Codi was finally getting into the game a bit more. She was also happy that she now had time to look through the various inventions still under observation to find the perfect one.

As Crissie wandered off into the sea of mechanical ingenuity, Codi had already set her sights on a particular device stationed against the back wall of the testing room. Approaching a tarp with a “Keep Out” sign on it, she quickly tore it off, revealing a chair with restraints built into it and a large, bulky VR headset with exposed wires all over it. She wasn’t certain what it did or how it even worked but that didn’t stop the headset from giving off an ominous vibe. “M-Maybe I’ll look around a bit longer,” she said, grabbing the tarp off the ground and tossing it back onto the machine haphazardly.

“Codi! Over here!” shouted Crissie, causing Codi’s heart to sink. She’d hoped such an enticing task as this would keep Crissie occupied for a while as she struggled with a final decision. Sadly, one look at her smug, mischievous mug told her that this was not the case. 

Hopping up onto the edge of one of the tall, metal tables, Crissie swung her legs back and forth childishly as she waited for Codi to inch her way over. Closing both fists, she held her hands out in front of her, trying and failing to hide how giddy she was. “Pick a hand,” she said, bouncing up and down on her fresh diaper.

Rolling her eyes, Codi considered choosing neither and just walking away. However, the prospect of Crissie whining that she didn’t play along properly was enough for her to do the bare minimum. She tapped Crissie's left fist, saying, “There, happy?”

“Hehehehe! Very!” cackled Crissie, her booming laughter causing Codi to recoil from the abrupt noise. Opening her palm, she revealed a harmless-looking piece of gum with the words, “Bubbly Baby” written on the side.

Annoyed with Crissie’s games, Codi snatched the piece of gum out of Crissie's hand and began examining it for any clues as to what it did. Finding nothing more than the gum’s stupid name, she lamented to the usual strategy, which was pressing Crissie directly for information with the power of sarcasm, “So what? It looks like a standard piece of gum. You planning to turn me into a blueberry or something?”

“Pffffff! Nah! I don’t think that’s the kind of thing they’d make here…and if it was, Master would’ve let me try it first,” said Crissie, giggling slightly at the thought of Codi ballooning up, “Besides, you’re already purple on the inside, so it’d be a waste anyway. Just try it already. I Double Diaper Dare you!”

Scoffing at the purple remark, Codi narrowed her gaze and stuck her tongue out a Crissie before unwrapping the innocuous piece of gum and tossing it into her mouth. How much damage could one piece of gum do anyway?

Chomping down on the rubbery sugar square, Codi was overwhelmed by how sweet the piece of gum was. The simple bubble gum flavor was so powerful that it nearly caused her to gag. She quickly spit the piece of gum back into her hand before scraping off the taste on her tongue with her teeth, “Bleh! Nope! There’s a reason that gum is still being tested. Find something else, non-edible preferably,” she said, placing the slightly chewed gum back in its wrapper and tossing it in the nearby trash can.

“Awww, fiiiiiiiiiiiine,” grumbled Crissie, pouting as she waded back into the sea of inventing materials.

Left on her own once again, Codi turned her attention toward ruining Crissie to the best of her ability. Unfortunately, anytime she found a device or innovation that seemed perfect, she then had to remember that for Crissie, most of the stuff in here would work better as a reward than a punishment. No, if she wanted to get the better of Crissie, she’d need to find something that even the biggest diaper perv in the world would consider terrible. 

Suddenly, before she could find the perfect device to use on Crissie, Codi began to feel a strange buzzing sensation overtake her mouth as if her teeth were vibrating. Not only that but her tongue felt so dry and tasted almost ashy, something she was not a fan of. She couldn’t believe it but she found herself missing the abundance of flavor that the chewing gum possessed. At least the sugary, sweet substance was better than this.

Searching around the room, Codi couldn’t spot a single source of water to wash the dreadful feeling from her mouth that only seemed to be growing stronger. It was getting to the point where she’d ingest just about anything to quell the awful oral sensations. Looking back at the trash can with the wad of gum inside of it, her desperation reached its boiling point as she dove into the bin to recover the lone piece. Removing its wrapper a second time, she stuffed the gum back into her mouth and began chewing, gaining some instant relief as the tingling subsided. Begrudgingly, the flavor from earlier permeated, tasting almost stronger than it did before. It was as if she was sucking on a tube of vanilla frosting.

Over on the other side of the testing chamber, Crissie continued to sort through the various doodads and thingamajigs, hoping to secure the ultimate humiliation for Codi to guarantee her victory. “Diaper glue… Nah…A nappy with a simple lock pattern on the front…Well, it's about time but no…Extra-Strength Lisp Lollies…that’s so last season…” Despite the endless array of options, nothing seemed to fit the mold of what she was looking for, at that was until she spotted something that made her heart flutter.

“Hey, Cooooooodi! Come over here!” said Crissie in a sing-songy voice. Holding a diaper with four leg holes in her hand, she felt herself getting excited at the prospect of testing out what looked to be a two-seated diaper with Codi. And with the power of Double Diaper Dare, there’s no way she could refuse. Seconds soon turned into minutes, though, as she waited for Codi to join her. Hopping up on her tippy-toes, she looked around the room, wondering where her diapered companion had run off to. With the double-wide diaper in hand, she began to retrace her steps, hoping to find Codi along the way.

Now that Codi was nowhere to be found, the dimly lit testing facility felt a lot more imposing than it did before. Crissie hugged the extra large nappy to her chest, finding comfort in the crinkly padding. “Codi! Seriously, this isn’t funny!” she yelled, her anxiety mounting as she made it back to the table that held the recently tested gum.

“Ehehehehehe!”

“Eeeeeeep!” shouted Crissie as the sound of Codi’s laughter caused her to jump. She instinctively let out a little bit of pee into her diaper, completely unaware that her diaper was swelling beneath her. Fixing her face into a frown, she stomped over to the source to find Codi hiding around the wide, metal table. “You big meanie! You know I don’t like jump scares!”

Rounding the side of the table, Crissie folded her arms across her chest as she stared down a Codi who was…playing with her feet? Lo and behold, the giggly artist wasn’t even laughing at Crissie’s expense, too focused on her own appendages to intentionally scare anyone. “C-Codi? You okay?” asked Crissie, confused by Codi’s abrupt change in behavior.

“Uh huhs! I okies!” said Codi before bellowing out another giggle. She turned to look at Crissie, her eyes centering in on the bulky, white diaper in her hands, “Ooooh! Is dat diapee fo me?! Gimme!” She reached up toward Crissie with grabby hands; a pure, unwavering smile laminated across her face.

TO BE CONTINUED…

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Edited by AllySmolShork

Special Thanks to Our CrissBaby Diaper Company Investors: BeelzeDerBock BlossomBitchDolly BlushyBen DD Exminister Gun1242 LittlePissy PrincessKittenLizzi Strawberry Sweetsamantharebecca & One Anonymous Investor

[toxicheartanime]

OCTOBER 2024 Pt 2

Had my hair re dyed after procrastinating recoloring it for months. My regrowth still needs to be fixed but thats tolerable. Just glad my purple looks much better than it did. Thank goodness for my girlfriend helping me fix it ♡

Today I went to the zoo with friends. We did a bunch of pokemon go and enjoyed admiring the animals. Looved seeing this guy so up close in the bird exhibit

Vended at a show yesterday. I made table fee back and thats pretty much it. Least I got to work on paintings while there and see a bunch of artist friends ☆

On Saturday, my girl and I went to my buddy's noise show that he held in his basement. It was awesome. I missed house shows a lot. There's this nice chill initimacy about being in someone's basement for a completely DIY'd . I used to go to a bunch of basement punk shows back in 2019/2020 during when I was in my previous relationship. Despite that being a rough time in my life, that didn't change the fact that those house shows were some of my favorite shows to attend. The projects playing were Die Safe, Problem Biter, Mountain of Woe (also the guy behind Machine Moon), Flesh Shuddering (my buddy who hosted the show) and Sunken Cheek. Noise is a specific genre (well more like niche) that might not appeal to most people. But I enjoy it for the effect it has on the emotions and atmospheric experience. During on Mountain of Woe's set in specific, I ended up crying for a bit of it. The second song played was dedicated to a local musician named Vincent Lawyer, who was well loved by almost everyone in the scene. Back in 2019, he sadly took his own life. Even though I didn't get super close to him when he was alive, Vincent's death still weighs heavy on me whenever I hear his name mentioned. He was very loved by the music community. I hope he knows in the afterlife that he is well missed and remembered.

This is a more lengthy post than usual. More liek a diary entry blog. But it felt right to type out. If you took the time to read through this, thank you ♡

[astralartefact]

Placeholder Name for Atarase's Media Diary

Extra Entry 00a - Final Fantasy 14 Endwalker 6.X Patch Series

Synopsis

The Gang Solves a Demon Crusade

The Gang Learns of the Messiest Divorce in the Multiverse

The Gang Ruins their Academic Reputation by Absolutely Botching the Only Interview Humanity Will Ever Have With Their Gods (Gone Wrong) (Gone Blasphemous)

The Gang Does Side Quests at the Other End of the Universe

i wrote this ages ago before dawntrail came out and forgot to post it but i still agree with what i wrote so have fun experiencing some hindsight <3

How much did I know before playing?

I'm playing this game since the end of Heavensward.

Did I like it more than I expected?

As seemingly one of 5 people with healthy expectations in this community I actually did.

Except for---

Since I liked it, here's what I hated about it

Eulogia. Fuck Eulogia. Way to ruin, like, everything.

Who wrote this. I just have some questions. I want to know if you ever once thought, like at all. For your own sake, dear writer responsible for this shlock, I hope YoshiP never reveals your name to the public for you already have a spiritual nemesis that will badmouth you to his absolutely non-sizeable internet audience.

Also, I guess searching for a Pictomancer glam in preparation for Dawntrail also has made me once again aware that the designs for magic armor in this game suck ass, you know I enjoy the subdued but still magical vibe of the art design but to be quite honest I thoroughly dislike most of the armor aesthetic. How are you guys, especially male characters, maining magic jobs with only like 3 glams that aren't long, ugly and/or feminine robes, I knew it was a meme but it's really that bad.

The worst part really is that there's several dozen good outfits where you can literally see the line where the top should have ended - only for them to still extend the cape all the way to the ground for no good reason making the entire piece look like shit. pls yoshi p just loosen the glam restrictions so you just have to have the class unlocked at that level to glam it onto every other class q_q that would take a minimal amount of effort and it would solve world hunger i swear it would q_q

What did this game make me think about?

The place of Redemption, Accountability and Forgiveness in our current age and its relation to our relationship to Religion.

And just so you're aware it's not the fucking God Exodus Story Line that made me think about any of that, no, that shitty story line has not thought a singular second about any of those points.

Specific Impressions that will stick with me

As much as I hate the story of Myths of the Realm the presentation slaps as always, the raids are gorgeous and Soken does what Soken do. (I'm value neutral on the Raid's difficulty or whatever the community decides to care about these days)

The Left Ending of Sil'dih with the tea table surrounded by flowers (i think it's the left one?) that place is so fckin pretty q_q and i love nanamooo

Outstanding Audio

Basically all of Myths of the Realm except for the Final Boss theme which I hate on principle because Fuck Eulogia

hurts bc dawn of a new era is was my favorite ff14 theme q_q

Troian Beauty in D Minor i don't think it's d minor

Favorite Character

KRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILE does she count she's barely in it

Nophica with a Gun (the Nophica that wasn't ruined by Myths of a Realm)

Paper Menphina

My Hrothgar Barbariccia OC I wrote to be my wol's shard of the void

And I did like Zero!

Favorite Arc/Story Line

I liked the Void Arc, I know People are big mad about it but I think it's fine! I only think it should have been optional, basically exactly like Stormblood's Four Lords, a Trial Series with a few Dungeons in between - then it wouldn't have had the burden of leading right into Dawntrail (a contrast so stark they couldn't even have tried to smoothen the transition) and people wouldn't have expected Zero to stay immediately relevant too.

Also some of the minor-ish quest lines were cute :)

Favorite Set Piece

I love Lymllaen's arena, it's kind of simple but so effective.

The final trash mobs in Thaleia :)))

Really cool Area with interesting mob design :)))))

A glimpse of what could have been :)))))))))) HOW IS THE FINAL TRASH MOB AREA PRETTIER THAN THE FINAL BOSS ROOM

Favorite Scene

Zero giving Golbez the chance to repent.

Best Performance (I played with JP voices)

AEGISU OBU HARUONE!!!!!!!!!

every single one of the gods was great, but not all of them, if you catch my drift (get it, fuck eulogia)

German Localization Notes

If you know me you know that I think the German FFXIV Localization is better than the English one and it still is and it will continue to be. I gladly pass on meme-y item descriptions if it means that I can expect the translation to not just write whatever it feels like at any given moment. (also, as I have expressed before I can't stand english olden speech writing, thank god the german tl doesn't do all that)

--- ENTERING THE PRETENTIOUS SECTION OF THIS ENTRY ---

What about this game gives me Hope for the future of gaming?

I have nothing really to say, I'm just so excited for Pictomancer you guys, every time I think about it I'm flushed with immense joy. I didn't think they would do it, but it's real. It's actually happening.

I guess what gives me Hope about that is that Yoshi P didn't get too lost in FF16's Fantasy Realism, because drab fantasy aesthetics is truly the worst outcome of lore culture.

What about this game makes me scared for the future of gaming?

You see, there is this thing that has happened since the common consciousness has deemed that Shadowbringers is indeed that good and it's that people kind of immediately turned around to say, that actually, FF14 - WITH THE EXCEPTION OF THE BAD BAD STORMBLOOD WHICH IS BAD!!!! - has always been good.

After all Heavensward had that one quest line we all liked, remember, and the one dude died and we all really cared about him, right right right???

And while you are allowed to picture me dismissively pointing at your copy of Heavensward while I'm saying this I don't actually have that big of a take over Heavensward, mainly because I'm not particularly interested in reexamining it since I'm still not over how wildly that writer fumbled FF16's entire narrative point for 'emotional storytelling' or whatever that ending was about, the only thing I will say is that People always bring up the death as this big meaningful thing that's so impactful and how dare you not care about it as if Heavensward hasn't had two other pretty essential characters die for absolutely no good reason apart from conveniently getting rid of a character that would be a hassle to keep up with or setting up character development for another.

Anyways, the problem I actually have was that middle bit, the text in bold where people feel this insistent need to point out that they do indeed know that Stormblood's story is "bad."

But we all know that. It's one of those opinions everyone already shares with each other, because it's pretty obvious. Literally everyone, even and especially the ones who still like it, know that the story leaves at least a little bit to be desired - because different from what certain people online try to make you believe most people are indeed critical of the things they like. A lot of people just don't feel like loudly critizising every little thing they have a problem with, especially when overall they're still enjoying themselves. Some people call it being fun at a party. And if you're constantly nagging, you're not fun at a party - it's not a safe space full of snowflakes, you're just a complainer and that's why nobody wants to talk to you.

It's not that insightful to see that Stormblood didn't quite do it. If you were alone with him in a room even Yoshi-P would admit that Stormblood 'wasn't optimal' or whatever he would say, he's not that stupid, he's just professional enough not to throw his writers under the bus just to bad mouth his own product. And yet there's this certain subset of people that really really needs you to know that the expansion where they cried because that one guy they shipped their oc with died is really really good and yet the other one that's split in half for no reason is really really bad - as if it's something that's needed to be said. As if it's Insightful Commentary we all needed to hear.

I will make this sound more dramatic than I think it really is, but I think the critical reception of Shadowbringers has emboldened the FFXIV community to take their personal (emotional) reaction to a piece of media as proof that a thing is good. I think some link between "I liked it" and "It is good" has been strengthened in some people's minds and some of those people have started to use that for bad by using it as a weapon upgrade in the usual endless complaining about things everyone agrees is bad.

Basically, This thing is Bad has become This thing is Bad, unlike the thing which is clearly Good because I liked it (and look, everyone agrees with me)

Except of course you can like bad things. The Game Awards nominated FF16 for Best Narrative.

And that just makes for repeated situations where people will say shit like "but it's so good because it's bittersweet" about Myths of the Realm - which, great, happy you had an emotional response to all of that - but that's also kind of the bare minimum you should achieve when you decide to kill off characters that are so important to the setting you choose a diety for your character before you choose a name. The Twelve Leaving being sad is Basic Empathy, to me that's not some kind of writing success.

Sadly whoever mangled this sad excuse for a storyline also decided to make sure the exodus of the Twelve somehow left less impact on the game world than fucking YoRHa:Dark Apocalypse and there you people keep complaining about it despite it being a cross-over storyline where something like that shouldn't be expected.

What I want to make clear by pointing this out is that the problem with that isn't that people like something that's bad actually - you can like Myths of the Realm, it's fine - and it's not even something more profound sounding like 'people become "too attached" to a piece of media to the point of being personally insulted when it's critizised.'

Because to that point I say a) of course people feel weird when a thing they like is being bad mouthed that's just a normal human reaction (you know, one of the things art is about, you generally create something to be reacted to) and I don't like how that continually crops up as a rebuttal to people becoming "defensive" over "something meaningless" (nice way to refer to art btw) as if growing attached to a piece of art is something to be ashamed of - and also b): people on the internet overstate the value and necessity of public critique. (not saying it's not important but some people seem to think only their critique alone is the sole way a creator can grow which... i regret to inform you that unsolicited advice is rarely as helpful as you would like it to be, even if it is "correct".)

I think the problem is that these 'criticisms' don't come out of a genuine "empathy" for the thing they like - unlike some people seem to have convinced themselves - because if that was the case maybe we would actually get not necessarily a productive discussion - none of us is working on this game after all (and honestly it's okay to stop pretending that somebody who does listens) - but it would be a more interesting one for sure. I can't tell you what to like (as much as I would love to), but I can encourage you to have more meaningful introspections into what you love than to blindly accept those tired talking points everyone is repeating at nauseam.

And with more meaningful I don't actually mean 'deep' it just means being honest to yourself and your feelings, even and especially if it is something completely mundane.

Because I think a lot of this is the opposite - this is people parroting common points about the thing that is popular to be part of the in-group with as little personal stake as possible - and by punching down on the out-group you can strengthen your place in the crowd, your social capital. It's bullying masquerading as 'valid criticisms', or maybe even Nerd Populism. if only we had an alliance raid series about that.

The Ramble Section where I get to actually talk about what I thought about

I would love nothing more than to 'valid criticism' all over Myths of the Realm - but that would take 15 pages of a Google Doc and I think down here is really not the place.

It's just sad to see the Twelve, Aglaia, Euphrosyne and 3/4ths of Thaleia be absolutely wasted for a shitty resolution that spits in the face not only of our beloved made-up history facts known as Lore but also the entire premise of ARR to Stormblood. But hey, at least it's bittersweet am i right

Anyways, let's Ramble about Ancient Greek Pronounciation.

I haven't had Ancient Greek in School (I could have, but Latin was already old and boring enough for me, thanks) so I had to scrape together how to pronounce Euphrosyne just so I can be annoying about it and as much as I want to say Oi-pro-sü-neh (I think English Speakers don't have the german ü sound, it's basically the same as in the french word rue) because it's much easier to pronounce, Ancient Greek makes a difference between Eu and Oi and I fail to understand how the Eu sounds no matter how many times I listen to it.

By which I mean, you can pretend it's You-froze-a-knee as much as you want, it's wrong and you sound foolish.

[sweet-lemonad-rose-sapphire]

Why I’m writing a BOTW prequel

I got into the Legend of Zelda (TLOZ) fandom in May of 2023 (2 weeks after TOTK came out so it was probably the best possible time to discover it!). At first I just watched the BOTW cutscenes on YouTube in chronological order, but then I ended up getting INVESTED in the story!!! I had already watched a video about Top Ten Saddest Video Game scenes at some point, so I knew that the Champions would die, but I just wasn’t expecting how REAL the scene was!

The next night I decided to watch the TOTK cutscenes because BOTW was so interesting, and of course, I fell in LOVE with the games! I loved how they portrayed Zelda and her character arc, I loved how the storyline wasn’t afraid to take a dark turn, but most of all, LINK stood out to me.

I had already known that he was a “Silent Protagonist” but I think that was the reason why I was interested in watching the BOTW cutscenes in the first place. I wanted to see how it was pulled off, being that Link was the main character after all. Yes, admittedly there were a few scenes that made me just want to shake this man, yelling “JUST SAY SOMETHING DUDE!!!” I still found his backstory interesting… or more lack there was.

I read the diary entries from the game and had questions like “So what, he’s just been silent for years? What caused this? What was he doing with the Master Sword during the ages 12/13 to 17? What caused such a change of personality at such a young age? It couldn’t just be because of the Master Sword… right?” I was absolutely HOOKED on finding answers! Then I found out about Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity.

At first I thought the cutscenes were from BOTW, then I saw the title of the video and thought it was a fan project, until I found out there was an ENTIRE prequel game of BOTW and I couldn’t understand why not many people were talking about it! Just a few nights after watching the BOTW cutscenes, I waited until my mom went to bed, popped some popcorn, and sat down on the couch, pulling up YouTube. I was about to get answers, and these next 3 hours were going to emotionally destroy me! And I was ready!

“IT’S A WHAT IF SCENARIO?!?!”

I was destroyed, but not for the reasons I thought I’d be… Things were happening in a different order, Link didn’t have the Master Sword yet (even though he was CLEARLY older than 12/13!) and they knew when Ganon was going to attack! I was a little upset. I thought I was promised a Prequel, but ended up getting what felt like a Fan-fiction! I did like the awkward Link scene and the smile he gave Zelda at the end though…

By the time the cutscenes ended, I just remember staring at the screen for a while. Processing.

I still had so many questions.

After a while, I got on Amazon to find out how much a Switch was.

“Fine,” I said. “My turn!”

I’ve grown to enjoy AoC for the moments that couldn’t possibly happen in BOTW (Sidon getting to see his Sister again, Zelda and her Father reconciling), but I just REALLY wanted to know Link’s story.

WHY did Link not talk?

WHEN did Link meet Daruk (why was he taking a casual stroll through Death Mountain)?

HOW did Link end up with the Master Sword at 12 or 13 years old if it was in the middle of the Lost Woods?

WHO was Link’s father (and his other family)?

WHERE was Link during those 4 or 5 years and

WHAT was he doing?

I was determined. I did research, I bought the game, I bought the DLC, I even bought the Masterworks Book! Video, after video, after video, I learned all I could about Link, Zelda, and the Champions! I also learned about the storyline of each Zelda game.

By the end of all this, I ended up with what I’m pretty sure is an entertaining story. I had to split it up into 2 books, but that just made Link’s story even more interesting. I will certainly be taking some creative liberties, especially during the first book (the part going over what was happening during the time between Link finding the Master Sword at 12/13 years old and him becoming Zelda’s personal knight), but I think the information I found should be enough to fill in the blanks.

I’ll be sharing my findings during the next few months (only sharing what has been explained or hinted at within the games, of course) so I hope you guys enjoy what I found!

[kowaindar0u]

"Dear Diary" ask! 6 and 13 for Yuichi ;3c (@zantedeschia-praesul)

[ DEAR  DIARY          .    .    . ]

06.     entry made discussing travel they’ve done or hope to do.

[dated December 29, 2019]

This was so stupid. Why did I think this would be helpful? How did "I need to get out of the house" turn into "I need to get out of the city?" I don't even BELIEVE the first one most of the time.

I didn't plan anything specific to do. Maybe that's part of the issue. I get too stressed out just thinking about it-- and then, of course, I just remember that I'm here alone, and then I just... feel pathetic. Even in a city known for such friendly people, I can't bring myself to go out, be among them, and enjoy any of it. I tried to psyche myself up to go to a cafe or something, just to say that I did, but instead I worked myself into a panic attack. I ordered in and ate in my hotel room. I did eventually go for a walk, but it was cold as hell and pretty late, so... I came back before I got too far.

I know I took off a week from work, but... I think the past two days is just proof that I truly should just stay home. I'm getting on the first train from Osaka back to Kamakura tomorrow. I know I'll be more comfortable once I'm home, but I hate that. I can't do anything without getting so stressed out, and none of it is even that deep. Maybe someday I'll be able to just. Go sit down somewhere and eat a fucking plate of crepes!!!!! But until then... at least there's delivery, huh.

13.     entry made featuring mention of (sender’s) muse. (Saseki)

[dated the first night of Saseki's arrival to Nagame honmaru]

Today was so exciting. I was so nervous about the visit from Saseki-san all these weeks leading up to today, but as is usually the case, I was worrying for nothing. This other saniwa is so friendly, and I think I could learn a lot from him. I'm not sure how long he's been doing this. But... I feel like he's got a lot of experience, especially compared to me-- Not to mention the touken danshi he brought with him seem to have gotten much stronger than their counterparts of mine are right now (thankfully they all seem to be getting along quite well, though perhaps I should expect as much with them being so similar to each other). Given Nagame's first year, I can only imagine what all Saseki and his men might have been through in all this time. Still, even with all he must know, he feels very down-to-earth and trustworthy. I think... we will become friends, if I'm going to be optimistic. We had a good time at the welcome party, and he and his men didn't seem to mind our rain too much. Speaking of the party, I ate a lot and it was quite lively, so... I think I'm going to bed. Good night. P.S.-- Saseki-san is a painter, too! I hope he will show me some of his work while he is here.

13.     entry made featuring mention of (sender’s) muse. (Nagasone)

[dated the day before our current thread :3c]

I write this as I hide under every blanket I have in my room. I think I'm gonna cry. What do I do? Oh.. what do I do??? All of my touken danshi are irreplaceable, such rays of joy, so dear to me, and I love them so much. That much will never stop being true.

But... There is ... It's Nagasone. What do I do?! I don't know what this is. It's more than a crush. I know what that's like. But this... Oh, I don't know...

Is it bad of me to have assigned him as my attendant the last few days? I mean-- I trust him completely, both in his capacity as attendant, and just... in general, which... I appreciate so, so much... But that's... that's not all. I just... I've just wanted to see him more, and be near him, even though every time we lock eyes or he touches me I feel like dying but... in the best way possible. Which in some ways is unfortunate because his sweet, attentive self always seems to pick up on when I'm stressing and then he takes my hands and I swear to all that is holy that I just short circuit and black out for a few seconds.

Even so, I... find myself not wanting to be away from him. I want to keep him close, for me, but also... I want to be there for him, too. It's a little awkward when he's my attendant, but I just can't help it, I... I want to do anything I can for him. I don't know what, and he practically never asks for anything. I wish he would ask, or I wish I was as intuitive as him so I could just... know what he wanted, and do it for him. Anything. Even something as simple as bringing him a treat from the kitchen, or brushing his hair, or...

My god. I sound insane. I don't know why I feel the need to justify this to you, my own journal, but. I promise It's not anything uncouth. I just... Journal, what do I do? It's clear to me that he cares for me very much. But I don't know if it's... the same. Even if I had the guts to bring it up to him, I think with my position...It's best if I don't put it forward. It hurts, but... For now, at least... I think I will just... try and sleep. And probably hug that body pillow that Sayo gave me. Don't you dare tell a soul, Journal.