#still need to listen to the new boxset though

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I’m thinking I might do a Taskmaster rewatch. It’s now about 3 months before I go off the UK for two weeks, which still doesn’t feel like a real thing that’s going to actually happen. But I’ve been thinking about how weird it is that I’m flying across an entire ocean because I happened to come across something on YouTube four years ago.

That’s how it started. Not because of the pandemic. It was early March 2020 when I was at my grandparents’ house out East, upstairs in their guest bedroom at about 9 PM, clicking through YouTube, and came across Taskmaster s01e01. I thought, that’s interesting. I like British comedy, by which I mean the old shows my dad had on DVD boxsets so I watched them over and over as a kid (Yes Minister, Flying Circus, Ripping Yarns, Blackadder, Mr. Bean, Fawlty Towers, a few others), the greatest TV show in the entire world called The Thick of It, a few tapes and CDs that my dad used to play in the car a lot (Billy Connolly, Beyond the Fringe, The Good Show), all of Douglas Adams’ books, a few other scattered TV shows I’d watched over the years because my dad said they were good (Peep Show, The Inbetweeners), and a whole bunch of Radio 4 programs. But I didn’t recognize this. This one of those TV panel shows they have there. Like QI, the show I hate because it took Sandi Toksvig away from The News Quiz. But surely that doesn’t mean all TV panel shows are bad. I wonder what this one is?

I clicked on it, and it had a man I vaguely recognized as the teacher in The Inbetweeners, and six other people I did not recognize at all. They were doing things I did not understand. I couldn’t tell how serious they were about anything whatsoever. I couldn’t figure out why it was funny. What are they doing? Why have they brought in items? Who are these people? I was intrigued.

And then Romesh Ranganathan threw a watermelon on the ground and my life hasn’t been the same since. That’s what it was. That’s the moment it clicked for me, and I instantly understood everything about why Taskmaster is funny. I had to call an apology to where my mother and grandparents were sitting downstairs, because sound travels easily in that house and I could not stop laughing. I couldn’t stifle the sound, I couldn’t get my breath. Romesh Ranganathan throwing a watermelon on the ground was the funniest thing I’d ever seen. I needed to see all of it. I needed to see every episode of this and also every other thing that any of these people have ever done. It’s a total coincidence that the world happened to end about a week later so I had time to actually do that.

The world ended, the tournaments I was supposed to get home to coach got canceled, so my trip out East got extended, I watched the rest of Taskmaster. Every episode that had aired as of then, which was up to the end of season 9. I got to the end and couldn’t just be done with all those people, so I Googled my favourites to see what else they’d done. Made a list of what shows came up the most often. Then spent about a year watching every episode of every show on that list, because the world had ended and I had nothing else to do. Would I Lie to You, 8 Out of 10 Cats, Catsdown, Mock the Week, Big Fat Quizzes, QI, The Last Leg. Never Mind the Buzzcocks, though I did start that one from the beginning of the Simon Amstell era, didn’t watch it from the beginning. But I watched every single episode (that had been released as of then) of the others. As I went along, I found new favourite people, and looked up things they’d done, and added those things to my list. Watched/read/listened to those things too. Shorter panel shows, sitcoms, books. The Mash Report and New World Order, of course. I watched every episode of UK Roast Battle and I'm pretty ashamed of it but probably still not as ashamed as I should be. Had a big WILTY phase during which I also re-watched Peep Show, watched everything else Mitchell and Webb have ever done for good measure, watched every episode of Not Going Out and that sketch show Lee Mack did before it, read both Lee Mack and David Mitchell's autobiographies. I watched every single episode of Russell Howard’s Good News and The Russell Howard Hour. There were so many of them. Why did I do that?

Realized it was weird that I loved The Thick of It and Veep and In the Loop so much but had never sought out other Armando Iannucci things (besides that Death of Stalin movie that I saw in the cinema when it came out). Fixed that, went chronologically through all Iannucci's stuff starting with On The Hour/The Day Today. While I was at it, re-watched The Thick of It, also re-watched all those other Britcom shows I'd loved as a kid. Re-watched The Inbetweeners.

Had a phase of being obsessed with Noel Fielding when I watched Buzzcocks. Also watched The IT Crowd, Nathan Barley, Garth Marenghi, The Mighty Boosh, even Luxury Comedy. Learned some more stuff about Noel Fielding, and now regret that phase. But I still think Nathan Barley and Garth Marenghi are masterpieces (the latter didn't even feature Noel Fielding, it just got rolled in with the others due to other crossover people).

At first I excitedly told my friends all about this, but they did not care, and my best friend started getting actively annoyed about it, so I went looking for a place where I could put my Britcom-related thoughts and still have friends when this is all over. I created a Tumblr account in August 2020. It asked me what I wanted my name to be. I thought of a joke Sean Lock made on 8 Out of 10 Cats once, about how people should tell the meerkats that everything’s fine. I went with that.

After the first year, I figured I had a good grounding in long-running TV shows, and could expand my repertoire a bit. I downloaded all 125 hours of the old Russell Howard and Jon Richardson BBC 6 Music radio show, listened to those, confronted some stuff about how shortly before the pandemic I’d had to move out from living with a friend because my OCD-like tendencies (I can’t technically say “my OCD” because I was diagnosed with OCD as a child but then told as a teenager that it was probably a misdiagnosis and those were actually autism symptoms, but it comes to the same thing, it’s just semantics and doesn’t matter) made me so bad at sharing space with other people, watched that documentary he made, drank a bunch of whiskey and had one or two emotions. It was fine. I did Hypothetical next to bring the mood back up. Made a few incoherently furious Tumblr posts when Russell Howard brought on Jordan Peterson and ruined my ability to enjoy any of his work anymore (Russell Howard's work, that is, I didn't enjoy Peterson's work to begin with).

In 2022, the world started to exist again, and I had to do some in-person work placements (as opposed to the last two years, which I’d spent doing my very easy work-from-home editing job that left lots of time for panel shows), and I realized that audio comedy is a lot easier to take with me on a commute than TV comedy. I listened to all 217 hours of the original run of The Bugle. Then took a break for a few months before listening to the reboot, because getting to the end of the original run made me so genuinely sad that I needed some time to get used to the idea that it would become a different thing, before I could actually enjoy that other thing. Which I now enjoy very much. Listened to all of Zaltzman and Oliver's other things, of course. Got into Chris Addison's old Radio 4 stuff off the back of The Department. Found a bunch of other people's Radio 4 stuff in the same spot.

Saw Nish Kumar live twice within a few months, traveling to New York City and then Montreal for it. One time he looked at me and laughed at my reaction to a joke and asked me a question, and I briefly knew how it must have felt to be those people who fainted at Beatles concerts back in the day, due to being overwhelmed by proximity to their hero (though it's not exactly the same situation, hopefully Nish Kumar has beaten fewer women than John Lennon).

Got into Kitson in mid-2022. Bought all his stuff on Bandcamp and Vimeo, wanted more, scoured the internet because I was promised that bootlegs existed, couldn’t find them, messaged a guy on a comedy forum to see what he had, got much, much more than I could possibly have hoped for (including, incredibly, a spare room where I’m staying in London this summer). Bought all David O’Doherty’s stuff off Bandcamp. Got a NextUp subscription. Got so into stand-up that panel shows started to seem over-edited and less enjoyable by comparison. Watched all of Stewart Lee’s TV shows and stand-up DVDs within a couple of weeks. Got really really into Josie Long. Spent a fair bit of 2023 meticulously going through a hodge-podge collection of old Kitson recordings, carbon dating them from the tiniest detail so I could accurately record their date and venue on my spreadsheet and in the file name. Developed a deep obsession with a thing called the Chocolate Milk Gang. Got into a Beautiful Mind-style need to unravel all the mysteries of this one video featuring the Chocolate Milk Gang and a cow from Edinburgh 2003. Decided that Stuart Goldsmith is the best interviewer I’ve ever heard. Once accidentally ended up in a brief email correspondence with Stuart Goldsmith and had to take about six months off from listening to his podcast because I was so embarrassed about it. Listened to all Mark Watson's old radio shows and then did all of No More Jockeys, decided Mark Watson is probably the best person in the world, learned a few more things about him, decided he's maybe actually not. Memorized all the Perrier Award winners since 1999, because that seemed worth doing. Saw Grace Petrie live and managed to not cry until the final song. Went to coach the national championships in 2023, felt sad about how disconnected I'd become from the sport that was my whole life for years, ended up spending much of the weekend sitting in an empty hallway listening to Gavin Osborn songs. Accosted Josie Long in the streets of Montreal and made her sign a poster from 2011.

Went back and watched/listened to some earlier stuff. Rounded out my previous journey through the TV shows/movie of Alan Partridge with the specials and audiobooks and podcast. Did all of Lee and Herring in about two weeks. Listened to Do The Right Thing mostly in an empty classroom on breaks at my new autism therapy job, fell briefly in love with Danielle Ward.

Then 2024 arrived and that was mostly John Robins for a few months. Became an XFM/Radio X retro one-r, accidentally got a video of John Robins taken off YouTube and immediately wanted to hide under my bed forever. Booked a trip to London and Edinburgh for summer 2024.

All of this happened because I happened to click on s01e01 of Taskmaster in early March 2020. I’m flying across an ocean. And what I really wanted, to begin with, was more context for Taskmaster. I thought it was the funniest thing I’d ever seen, and I think everything is better in context, so I wanted to see these people do other things, get as much context as I possibly could so I could get all the little in-jokes on Taskmaster.

When I first watched Taskmaster, only nine seasons were out. Across those nine seasons that I watched in the first go, I only saw six people I recognized. Greg Davies, and later, Joe Thomas, from The Inbetweeners. Sally Phillips, from Veep. Jo Brand, whom I knew from some of my dad's old British stand-up comedy tapes. Hugh Dennis, as I’d been listening to The Now Show for years. And Nish Kumar, as I’d been listening to The News Quiz for years. I’d never actually seen Nish before getting to Taskmaster season 5, and was shocked the first time I watched s05e01, because based on hearing him on the radio all those times, I’d assumed Nish Kumar was about 55 years old. Since then I’ve realized that a few of the people I saw in those first nine Taskmaster seasons were actually people I’d heard before on The News Quiz, but I didn’t make those connections at the time. Nish was the only one I’d heard enough times on The News Quiz to immediately realize that this was the same person as the one on the radio. I was shocked by how young he was. And then I was shocked by how very bad at everything he was.

Also, I didn't realize until way too long after I'd finished my initial Taskmaster watch that Sara Pascoe was the radio employee in the Richard Bacon episode of The Thick of It.

Anyway, I have more context now. Quite a bit more context. Arguably too much context. Maybe more context than any one person could ever need. But I'm thinking, before I actually go to the UK on this trip that I still can't believe is going to be real, I might go through Taskmaster again, with context this time.

I've re-watched it before, of course. In those first nine seasons, I've seen every episode at least four times. I re-watched them all along with the podcast when that first came out. I re-watched the first 13 seasons with my then-girlfriend, back when we first got together, in late 2021/early 2022. But I haven't watched them all properly since then. I've re-watched sporadic episodes, but not all of them in order.

I'm thinking I'll do all of them order. With all the context. With too much context. Not on YouTube this time. I can watch it on my laptop's own video player, from the folder in the 5TB hard drive I bought specifically to house my comedy folder (currently about 2TB). That'll be a good use of my limited time on this Earth.

Here, have a video I made in the fall of 2020, putting moments from the nine seasons of Taskmaster that were out at the time to a song that I listened to a lot during early lockdown days.

[lurking-latinist]

Hello Aurelia,

Siena Sevenwits here! Not long ago you turned me in the direction of Spotify for Big Finish - now that it's Christmas I have a little listening time. I was wondering if I could ask for a rec or two, if you have time and inclination? I'm, er, wondering if it's a good idea to get into 6, 7, and 8 by means of audio rather than TV. If I'm barking up the wrong tree, ah well.

My Whovianness on television: Got into Doctor Who casually around 2010, and been rather on and off. I've seen a fair-ish amount of Doctors 1-4, rather more of 5, and only tiny bits of 6-8. I am aware of all the major Who-impacting plot points even from the later eras, could tell you a few sentences about each of the companions from those adventures, etc. As for New Who, I came to Doctor Who via 11, whom I know extremely well, and some 10 here and there. I've listened to a smattering of Big Finishes with 5.

What I'm looking for: I'm especially intrigued by 7 & 8, though I'm open to persuasion about 6. I don't have a lot of time to watch TV right now, but have time to listen while I do chores, which is partly why I thought this might be a good way to get into these incarnations. I love clever or atmospheric adventures, though humour is welcome too. Good character development is awesome. I'd prefer single rather than multi-doctor stories. Really I'm looking for a good starting place and, you know, confirmation that this is actually a good idea without watching the shows first. I also don't mind listening to adventures that spoil things from the show.

Siena!! This is the best ask!

The good news is that it is a great idea to get into 8 by means of audio--there is only audio! (Well, and novels and comics, but those are separate continuities.) There is the TV Movie, which is the Eighth Doctor's first story and only full-length appearance in a televised medium, and you can certainly watch it if you want--it's a corny good time--but you really won't miss anything at all by starting directly with 8 on audio. He is the audio Doctor.

The converse to this is that 8 has been in a lot of audio, so you'll still need to narrow it down. I'm assuming you don't want to start with any of the boxsets (sets of usually four hour-long stories), which are expensive and continuity-heavy. Instead, you'll probably want to start with one of the two 8 runs that are available free on Spotify: his adventures with Charlotte "Charley" Pollard and Lucie Miller.

For Charley you'll start with Storm Warning, which is a very enjoyable listen. It's definitely a good starting point--I would say it's similar to, say, The Eleventh Hour in that it introduces a basically new Doctor and new companion, and it's intended to be a doable jumping-on point. From there you can listen to Eight and Charley's stories sequentially--there is a 'season' arc, so be sure you listen more or less in order--they're all part of the Main Range, so just pick out the Main Range stories with Paul McGann in them. But you can skip Minuet in Hell, it's really bad and not part of the season arc. The arc concludes in Neverland and the infamously long, complicated, and multi-Doctor Zagreus, but don't worry if you just want to read the wiki summary for Zagreus. At that point if you want more Eight and Charley you have to start spending money, but the next several adventures are quite cheap on the Big Finish website, so it's not a bad deal at all (and you get to download and keep the files, it's not a streaming situation).

Eight and Charley's stories are dramatic, romantic (in the 'literary style' sense, although occasionally in the 'love' sense as well), and often historically inflected--she's an eighteen-year-old runaway schoolgirl and would-be 'Edwardian Adventuress' whom the Doctor rescues from an airship crash in 1930. Their plotline is the first Doctor/companion ship that's anything like canonical, although it's always framed as a tragic romance: their love is impossible but their friendship is real. Their stories are formatted like Classic Who stories in that each story consists of four half-hour episodes, which can be handy if, for instance, you have a half-hour commute or task.

Some of Eight and Charley's other best stories are The Stones of Venice, Chimes of Midnight, and Seasons of Fear.

Alternatively, you could start with Eight and Lucie instead! I'm somewhat biased because I love Charley and could never quite get into Lucie as much, but I did enjoy her stories and would listen again. Her opening adventure, the two-parter Blood of the Daleks, is also a perfectly workable jumping-on point, and from there you'll listen to the stories in the 8th Doctor Adventures series. Lucie's a young English woman from 2006 (so then-contemporary) who's placed in 'witness protection' by the Time Lords and forced to travel with the Doctor after she gets accidentally involved in some time nonsense. Initially skeptical of him, she eventually comes to be great friends with the Doctor but never stands for his nonsense--think a somewhat younger Donna. She has a lot of adventures after the season that's available on Spotify, which I haven't listened to all of, but I'm told she gets some really emotionally devastating story arcs. But she's also very snarky and funny. Her stories are one or two hour-long parts each, so formatted more like a New Who story.

With Eight and Lucie, I particularly remember enjoying Phobos and Human Resources.

So Eight is the best Doctor to start with on audio, because he's so very on audio. But there is a story arc with Six and an audio-original companion that is also a fantastic jumping-on point, and assumes no knowledge of Six's TV run. In The Marian Conspiracy, the Sixth Doctor finds that a time anomaly appears to be affecting middle-aged history professor Dr. Evelyn Smythe. He goes to investigate the anomaly's origin in the Tudor period, which happens to be Evelyn's specialty, and she invites herself along! I adore Evelyn and think everyone should meet her, and she and Six have some of the best audios honestly--Jubilee and Doctor Who and the Pirates are both deservedly famous. The writing and characterization issues that you may have heard about in Six's TV run 100% do not apply to the audios. But if you're more drawn to Eight than Six, you might as well start with Eight. Six and Evelyn will be there!

There are also plenty of Six audios with his TV companions Peri and Mel, but most of those aren't designed as starting points. Although my own starting point with Six was ...ish, which is a Peri one, and I turned out all right.

Seven doesn't have a sort of audio reboot like Six and Eight both do, so most Seven audios (especially the early ones which are free) include his TV companions, Mel and Ace. But the Seven and Mel stories certainly require no knowledge of TV continuity. The Fires of Vulcan is a particularly fun historical of theirs in which the TARDIS gets lost in ancient Pompeii. His stories with Ace do tend to draw on her TV characterization more, but if you know basically who she is, you should be fine to listen to any of their early ones that draw your attention. Additionally, Seven and Ace pick up a third companion, Hex (it's short for Hector), who is a nurse from 2021 (which was a long time in the future when they made it!). Hex is a part of some very long-term story arcs, and it's best to listen to the Seven, Ace & Hex stories in order if you want to do that.

I realize this is a lot of information in not very parsable form, but fortunately @circular-time's website VHSWhovian has a very useful Index of Free Big Finish on Spotify.

Enjoy!

[berenwrites]

Beyond the Battle - Chapter 19 - Stranger Things - Steddie

Beyond the Battle­: Action & Consequence

In apology for the delay of the next chapter, there are 2 chapters being posted today, this is the first of 2.

Click here for All Posted Chapters

Summary: Steve hits things with a bat or gets hit depending on who you ask. He definitely does not have anything to do with the psychic stuff. That is El’s domain. However, as Vecna is defeated, the rules change.

Pairing: steddie (Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson)

Other Relationships: Steve & Robin, Steve & Dustin, Eddie & Dustin

Rating: Teen

A/N: Multi-chapter story, updated regularly. Honestly not sure how many chapters it will have yet because it's still a bit hand wavy in the middle, but definitely more than 12. Thank you to my beta for find my mistakes and to all those who read/like/reblog.💖 Follow #st:beyond-the-battle for updates.

Also on AO3

Chapter 19.    Details

As the planning meeting broke up into smaller groups, Steve made his way towards Hopper.

“Hi,” he said.

“Let me stop you right there,” Hopper said before he could say anymore. “If you are going to suggest you can finish fixing me first, then the answer’s no. Even if we don’t get to implement this plan until tomorrow, you need to be in top form. And if you are going to apologise that you can’t finish fixing me, because of Max, don’t, because of course the kid who got Vecna’d is in front of an old man with a bad ankle in the queue.”

Steve blinked.

“God I’m too predictable,” was what he chose to say, shaking his head.

“Yes, Steve, you are,” Hopper said with a rather smug smile. “Out of interest, which one was it?”

“The second one,” he replied. “I’m not actually as dumb as the kids like to make out.”

“Kid, you’re not dumb at all, you just have some wildly fucked up priorities,” Hopper told him and patted him on the arm.

He tensed for a moment, but he relaxed as soon as the onslaught he was expecting didn’t come. It helped.

“See, you do a good job,” Hopper said and grinned at him.

“Let’s hope I can do as good a one with Max,” he replied, doing his best not to let his insecurities rise up.

“No doubt from this direction, Steve,” Hopper said, expression turning serious. “Now I think my daughter is trying to get your attention.”

Steve turned to see El smiling at him.

“Guess it’s time for the pre-game pep talk,” he said, more to himself than Hopper, but the man clapped him on the back as he walked away anyway.

Talking to El was surprisingly easy. They went over the plan in a bit more detail before shifting into discussing possible other practice sessions they could do along with Will. El had plenty of ideas which were only slightly terrifying as far as Steve was concerned. He was listening to El and Will discussing the Void when he heard the phone ringing. Jonathan disappeared to answer it, but Steve wasn’t really paying attention.

“Robin, it’s your mom,” did however get his attention.

“Oh, thanks,” Robin said, climbing over Dustin and Mike who had sprawled onto the floor rather than just sitting on it.

“If you get any closer I’m gonna need Steve to fix what you squashed,” Dustin complained.

“Then move, Doufus,” Robin replied, but she was already mostly through the obstacle course.

Steve tuned back into what El and Will were talking about, but kept one eye on the door, in case Robin needed anything. He was relieved to see her bounce back into the room smiling a minute or so later.

“Hey, Dingus,” she called across the room, “good news, technically we’re still employed, bad news, Family Video is not going to open for at least a month.”

“Problem for another day?” he asked, just in case it was something Robin needed to deal with before she could settle.

Sometimes she was like that, and he always liked to make sure.

“Oh, hell yeah,” she replied. “I will miss our mornings of double boxsets if we have to quit, though.”

“Highlight of my days,” he told her with a hand on his heart.

“You have no taste,” she shot back, before tucking herself back on the couch with Nancy.

With that dealt with, Steve returned to his previous conversation and asked what he hoped was a sensible question.

~*~

When Robin and Steve got back to his house, Wayne and Eddie were smoking in the backyard. They’d had no more news about when Max would be back in Hawkins, so the party meeting had broken up. Steve left the walkie on the table in the pool room as he headed out back and Robin disappeared into the bathroom with a quick, “Need to pee.”

“Hey,” he greeted.

“Steve,” Eddie said, face lighting up, “everything go okay?”

“As well as anything can go with that many fifteen-year-olds in the same place,” he replied with a smile. “We now have a workable plan for visiting Max without the hospital turning into complete chaos.”

“The Mayfield girl?” Wayne asked.

Steve nodded.

“She was hurt badly in the quake,” he explained, “and they’re transferring her back to Hawkins today at some time. She was in a coma when the evacuation happened but woke up a few days ago, so everyone wants to see her as soon as possible.”

“I heard she was in a bad way,” Wayne said. “Poor kid.”

“I’m sure she’ll be raising hell again in no time,” Eddie said, giving Steve a supportive smile over his uncle’s shoulder.

“Knowing Max, that’s for sure,” he agreed.

Wayne pulled out a packet of cigarettes and offered him one.

“Thanks, but I quit,” he replied. “Robin kept handing me flyers about lung cancer until I promised.”

“That’s because I’m a good friend,” Robin said, choosing that exact moment to appear from the house. “Terrible habit.”

“That it is,” Wayne agreed, even as he puffed away.

“Told you,” Robin said, grinning at Steve.

“So, what are your terrible habits?” Eddie asked, pinning Robin down with the I-dare-you look he had that did things to Steve on a visceral level.

“The tales I could tell,” Steve replied before his brain could go off on a tangent.

“You would break the best friend code?” Robin gasped, taking a leaf out of Eddie’s book and putting a hand over her heart and everything.

“Dammit,” Steve said, letting his shoulders sag, “you take the fun out of everything.”

“Do not!” Robin squawked. “Take that back.”

She slapped him on the shoulder for good measure. Of course, he had to retaliate, sweeping her into his arms bridal style so she screeched some more.

“Put me down you big bully,” she yelled, slapping his shoulder some more.

“I’ll put you down,” he said and took a step towards the pool.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Robin said, so he had to take another step. “No!” she squeaked, throwing her arms around his neck and hanging on like her life depended on it.

He rolled his eyes, laughing as he gently put her down.

“I would never,” he said, enjoying just blowing off some steam, “you’d get slime all over my house.”

Eddie snorted a very loud laugh at that.

“I hate you both,” Robin said, doing her very best impression of a kicked puppy.

It wasn’t that good, because she just didn’t have the eyes down, but it always worked on Steve anyway. He dragged her into a hug and kissed her on top of her head.

“Forgive me,” he said as she relaxed against him.

“I’ll think about it,” she replied quietly.

“You sure you two ain’t related?” Wayne asked from where he had watched the whole proceedings.

“He wishes,” Robin said with a bright grin.

Steve did not deny it. He often wondered what it might have been like growing up with a sister like Robin. Would he still love her in the same way he did, or would they have grown apart like many siblings he knew? Such questions plagued him.

“Well, I should be getting back,” Wayne said, standing up and stretching his back. “Took me an hour to get through those damn reporters yesterday. Almost missed my ride to the plant.”

“You’re having problems with the press?” Steve asked as Robin pulled away from him.

“Damn vultures,” Wayne replied, “all want a piece of Eddie an’ don’t care if he’s dead or alive. Had to sneak through each time before I decked any of ‘um for the questions they were asking.”

“That sounds terrible,” Robin said, and Steve nodded his agreement.

“You could stay here if you want,” he said as the idea popped into his head.

Wayne looked honestly shocked and Eddie’s eyes had opened in surprise too.

“There’s plenty of room and no one would ever guess you were here,” Steve added as both Munson men kept looking at him.

“I couldn’t impose like that,” Wayne said eventually.

“You wouldn’t be imposing, Wayne,” he did his best to assure the other man, “and it would probably be safer for Eddie having you here,” he added for good measure, “rather than running the gauntlet of press every time you come visit. I’m sure we could get Hop, or Jonathan and Argyle to pick up your things from the motel so no one is the wiser.”

Eddie was asking a whole host of questions with his eyes, so Steve did his very best to make sure his boyfriend knew he was perfectly serious.

“If we put you in the basement bedroom, you shouldn’t be bothered by noise when the house is invaded by teenagers either,” he said as it occurred to him.

They’d have to be more careful about where in the house they discussed anything Upside Down related, but it wasn’t as if every other house except for Joyce and Hopper didn’t have the same problem.

“He’s not going to let you say no, Wayne,” Eddie said, standing up and leaning on his uncle’s shoulder. “Once Steve adopts you, there’s just no way out.”

Steve seriously began to rethink his slime in the house rule as his face rapidly heated up. It might be worth it to see the grin wiped off Eddie’s face. Wayne was looking between him and Eddie now.

“Are you sure, son?” Wayne asked, facing him square on again.

“Perfectly,” he replied. “You’re welcome here.”

The way Eddie’s smile went soft and warm at that had Steve feeling warm for entirely different reasons.

“Then, thank you, Steve,” Wayne finally said. “I would be most grateful to take up your offer, especially to keep Eddie safe.”

“Great,” Steve said. “I can show you the room and we can call the guys so see if they can swing by the motel. What time do you need to meet your ride?”

He listened as Wayne gave him the details and they all headed back into the house.

“You’re going for sainthood, that’s it, isn’t it,” Eddie whispered in his ear as they made their way towards the basement.

“I was thinking more of worshiping my very own demon,” he replied in an equally low tone and very much enjoyed the way Eddie almost fell over his own feet.

End of Chapter 19

Chapter 20

[eutravels]

Tales from New Earth

Now this is some refreshing content! Apparently people don't like this boxset very much? Personally I'm totally fond of it, it's a wonderful sequel to the New Earth trilogy from the TV series, Devon and Hame are great at leading the show and the Lux is truly a menacing and interesting villain.

I don't think it will get a Volume 2 but I don't think it needs any anyway, so it works great.

I was a bit startled at the Tenth Doctor bits because of the oddness of how he's inserted through third person narration by Devon while the rest of the characters speak normally. Hodgson's impersonation does the job but it does not hide the absence of Tennant in the cast, especially when his character was not really needed for the whole story to work out. I'd rather have listened to it without the Doctor in it, even though I love him really much.

Each story is really unique so it'll be way more interesting to talk about each individually!

Escape from New New York

This one really hooked me up. It's probably my favourite from this boxset. It sets up a lot of background for Devon as well as for the rest of the story, and it's great to see Hame again.

This whole story is a great pilot, it establishes the Lux really properly and all the events within it demonstrate how and why Devon is about to get so invested in the battle against the Lux.

Death in the New Forest

This is the first one in which the Doctor appears. As expected it's not that great. He takes too much light away from Devon but it still doesn't feel like a Doctor Who story. In the end, both are wasted in this.

The story in itself is really great, there's tension, suspense, you keep wondering who did it until the reveal: just great. It does not really live up to the previous one, but it shows what a casual Tales from New Earth story looks like (since the first establishes the characters and situations). It's a good start, even though it could have done well even without the Doctor.

The Skies of New Earth

This one was a wonderful piece of action and political discourse. What are you supposed to do when the two possibilities you have are as bad as one another? Doing his best, Devon convinces both camps to fight against their common enemy: the Lux.

It's a great start, but it gets messy as soon as the Doctor comes in. Having some Tenth Doctor content once again is great, but the same phenomenon as the one before happens, the Doctor shines way more than the main character, who then becomes an observer of the Doctor's doing. In a sense, he is supposed to be just an observer, he even pretends to be a journalist in this one, but it's a great let down from the first story.

Anyway it does not take away the other qualities of this story. The side characters are lovely, especially Oscar the Solar Bear, and the Lux is as frighteningly mad and powerful as ever.

The Cats of New Cairo

More Hame, less poor man's Tenth Doctor, what's not to love?

I really liked the character of Sister Jara and her rivalry with Hame, which shows how much Hame has learned from the events of the TV series. It's even more obvious during Hame's talk with The Most Exalted High Persian, her dedication to New Earth and to her Senatorial duty is remarkable.

Otherwise, the story was just great, not the boxset's best one, but definitely a great one. It's a good finale, and I liked the senate bits at the beginning and the end of it.

[thirddoctor]

(1/2) i really feel you about how simm is interesting to analyze in a way I don’t think the fandom does… I personally think it's super interesting to look at how self-destructive simm!master is compared to a lot of the masters that came before/after him. how 10 says that destroying himself is the one thing he won't do but compared to other masters he seems a lot more... lax i guess about taking damage to his body? way more willing to pull an absolutely wild stunt at personal cost? (I also don’t

(2/2) think every version of the master would’ve killed missy, even if they were equally disgusted at what they’d become). there's definitely something in here abt him being the first real post time war master imo (idk if this comes up in the war master audios I’m a little nervous to listen to them) but i think fandom has overall been a lot more inserted in tensimm which like, no shade I’ve just never been huge into shipping overall so I don’t find that nearly as interesting

Yeah! I mostly tend to talk about Simm from an out of universe perspective, in terms of how I feel about the character choices RTD made (I still need to dig out that long essay I wrote on the subject), but if I analyse him purely from an in universe pov I think he’s actually pretty interesting. The things I find compelling aren’t really what I see the fandom talking about though. And this is not a criticism of the fandom - I think it’s just a case of different priorities. (Though, as someone who also isn’t very into shipping - it’s just not my preferred way to engage with fandom, despite me being very into exploring complex relationships - I do find it frustrating how much of the Master’s character is filtered through a shippy lens by fans. I feel like this often ignores deeper, more interesting examinations of who they are and why they behave the way they do.)

Anyway, what I like about Simm is that he’s a great example of where the Master’s choices will inevitably lead. He’s all the Masters flaws taken to their logical conclusion (just as Ten as the Time Lord Victorious is all of the Doctor’s flaws taken to their conclusion). He’s the most cruel and arrogant, probably the most self-destructive (but not in a deliberately suicidal sense like Dhawan), and the most obsessed with maintaining control of his identity and the rigid idea he has of who he should be, even when it’s to his own detriment. He purposefully destroys any potential connections he makes with other people (converting and taunting Bill, beating Lucy, constantly trying to harm the Doctor and refusing to accept any of the olive branches he is offered, killing Missy, etc.). And I think it shows the bankruptcy of the Master’s path, because even though Simm actually gets to enjoy more victories than the Master usually does, I don’t think he’s ever ultimately happy. He still loses everything again and again, he’s bitter and angry and alone, and his pride refuses to let him ever change. That’s part of why I think Missy is a natural progression from Simm, because she looks at where her choices have led and can finally consider, “Is this really who I want to be? Is this kind of life helping me or just hurting me?”

idk, there’s more I could say, but I still need to rewatch S10 to analyse him properly. I think you’re probably right about the fact that Simm is directly post-Time War and post-fobwatched Jacobi playing a big role in shaping him. After all the horrors of the war and then decades of hiding and losing his very identity to keep himself safe, it makes sense that he would come out of it being the most extreme version of himself, and being more willing to throw himself in harm’s way to get what he wants and maintain his sense of identity. There’s lots to talk about there, imo, and I would love to see the fandom engage with his character more.

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

Hello!! Fairly new Doctor Who fan here—I’ve finished Nine and am partway through Ten and am absolutely loving it—and I had a question: when/where do you recommend starting with the audio dramas? I started one about Nine, but got the feeling that I was running into spoilers…thanks!

(Also, love your blog!)

hi there!! :D

I'm so sorry I've left this ask unanswered for so long 😅🙃 I hope you don't mind me finally coming around to answering your question now; hopefully you're still interested in the DW audios!! they are honestly so much fun, and it always excites me when I see someone new looking to get into them, whether they've been a long-time DW fan or are just getting into the show!!

maybe it'll help a bit if I just share my own experience with getting started with the audios--I started watching DW not long after Thirteen's first series (s11) aired, and enjoyed those episodes so much that I went all the way back to s1 and watched through the entire show. once I finished watching all of NuWho (all the episodes 2005-present), I wanted to try some Big Finish audios, but I didn't want to spend any money on them yet because I wasn't sure how much I was going to like them (and also I was a broke high school student 😅😂). I was informed that there were quite a few of the older audios available on Spotify (completely free!), so I found a list of some of the best stories online somewhere and listened to one audio from each of the Fifth, Sixth, Seventh, and Eighth Doctor's storylines. I still knew basically nothing about any of the Classic Doctors or their companions or the story arcs they had on TV, so I was a bit lost with Five, Six, and Seven (although the Six story I listened to was 'Jubilee,' and I did thoroughly enjoy that one even without much prior context).

the one story that really stuck for me was the Eighth Doctor audio I listened to, 'The Chimes of Midnight'. there was some earlier context that I was missing that caused some of the major plot moments to be a bit confusing for me, but both the Doctor and the companion were brand-new and there wasn't a ton of show-canon context that I didn't have, unlike with the other Doctors' audios. so I went back to 'Storm Warning,' the first audio with Eight and the introduction to his companion Charley Pollard, and moved forward through Eight's audios from there.

so this is usually the path that I recommend people new to Big Finish take when getting started too! both because it's so accessible (due to the first major arc of Eight and Charley's stories being free and easy to access on Spotify), and because Eight barely has any screentime at all, so it was left up to the audios to pretty much develop the character from the ground up. and it worked really well for me and has done for others I've recommended starting this way.

however, if you'd rather try another course than this one, the Tenth Doctor's audios are also a pretty good jumping-on point for a new Big Finish listener. I've only listened to a few of them, but I enjoyed the ones I heard, and there wasn't really any context that you would need outside of Ten's TV episodes to enjoy them. (you definitely do need to have seen all of his TV run before listening to those audios, though.)

another decent place to start would be with the Diary of River Song audios, or the Tenth Doctor and River Song boxset (but only once you've watched through the Eleventh Doctor's era, and only if you actually like River Song as a character. otherwise these audios will probably just be irritating to you, since she's, ya know, the main character of them 😅)

I'm also going to leave this post open for any of my DW friends who would wanna chip in and add their recommendations for the best places to start with Big Finish to do so! there is honestly so much good storytelling in the audios; at this point, I really do think Big Finish does far more for my love of Doctor Who than the show (which isn't to diss the show at all; that's just how good the audio writers are and how much I really do enjoy the stories they come up with!)

(and aww, thank you!! ^-^ :D)

[blu-joons]

Surprise Present ~ Jeong Yoonah

You threw your head back as soon as you fell onto the sofa, your final shift before the holidays was finished, and at last you could begin to enjoy the festivities at home, without having to worry about work anymore.

Yoonoh had already text you to let you know that he’d be a little later than planned in coming home, so you made yourself comfortable with a boxset and a bag of your favourite chocolates in the living room.

You hadn’t quite realised how late it was until you heard the front door open, pressing pause on your programme. The bag of chocolates had long been demolished in your little celebration, turning back on the sofa to see Yoonoh walk through the door.

The smile on his face was wide as he spotted you, walking straight into the living room to greet you. He was much cheerier than usual, leaving you slightly confused as you wrapped your arms around him, feeling his lips hover against your cheek.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he smiled, pulling away from you, “sorry that I was so late, there was just something I needed to organise, and it couldn’t wait any longer.”

“Don’t apologise,” you assured him, taking a seat back down on the sofa, “I know how busy work can get, especially this time of year. Did you get it all sorted?”

His head nodded, tapping his hands against his thighs. “Not quite, I had to bring it home to work on a bit over Christmas, and probably for a little while after that. I hope you don’t mind.”

Your head shook, stretching your legs back out across the sofa. The smile on his face was still leaving you slightly uncomfortable as he stared down at you, running his hands through his hair several times. Finally, he cleared his throat, shuffling so he was sat besides you.

“Do you not want to know what I’ve got to work on?”

“If it’s to do with work you usually tell me it’s a secret,” you challenged, resting against his shoulder, “but if you can tell me, what is it you’ve got to work on?”

He cheered, resting his hand against your own, “it’s actually a bit of a joint project. Call it a bit of an early Christmas present from me, to you, why don’t you come take a look.”

“If this is another one of your stupid pranks Yoo, I’m not going to be happy.”

He didn’t say anything, just pulled you out to the front door, leaving you stood still in the doorway. He walked back to his car, lifting the boot up to slowly reveal a cage, and best of all, an adorable Labrador that looked all too familiar. As soon as Yoonoh opened the door, the dog jumped out, running over to you.

“Is this Patch? What’s he doing here Yoo?” You asked, brushing over his fur.

“Well, he’s our little project, and your Christmas present.”

Your hands rested on either side of Patch’s face, looking between him and Yoonoh. You couldn’t quite believe he was in front of you, or that Yoonoh had managed to bring him to you.

“I know how much you talked about him, and how much you hated no one paying him any attention, so I thought that we could together.”

Patch was the first dog you bonded with at the beginning of your time at the dog shelter, he was slightly older than most of the other dogs that meant most just passed him by, but you failed to see why no one could see how special he was. Most days you’d end up going home to complain to Yoonoh that no one wanted such an adorable best friend.

Straight away, Patch was nuzzling against your leg like he always did, begging you to rub under his tummy as you did so well, allowing him to relax and his tail to wag.

“This is what you were doing? Have you really adopted him? Is he really ours?” You quizzed, just waiting for the moment that Yoonoh told you this was yet another one of his wind ups.

“He’s really ours, forever. I didn’t see the point of the two of you just being together at the shelter, so I thought I’d give him a new home for Christmas instead,” he smiled.

“This is amazing Yoonoh, thank you so much.”

“Thank Patch, as soon as I walked into the shelter, he took my breath away too,” he spoke, sitting down beside you, running his hand over the top of his head.

The moment you walked out of the shelter that afternoon you were terrified about leaving Patch for a couple of weeks, especially when he was closer with you than all of the other volunteers. Even if it were Christmas, it would never have stopped you worrying about him.

“I can’t believe you’ve done this,” you whispered, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “As far as Christmas presents from you go, this might be the best one you’ve ever given me. I can’t believe he’s really going to be a part of our family.”

“He already was a part of our family with how much you talked about him.”

Most nights he’d listen to you tell him all about your day with Patch, seeing how upset you got that no one had decided to take him on. But as he wracked his brain for ideas for presents for you, he knew there was only one thing that would really make you happy.

After checking your schedule for the shelter, he was quick to head down that evening before it closed up for Christmas and make sure that Patch came home with him.

“Look at his handsome face, everyone’s going to fall in love with him when they come over.”

What he failed to tell you, was that he’d already shown the boys photos of him, and they were desperate for him to take Patch to the studio with him the next time he went.

“Suddenly, I don’t feel like the most important guy in your life,” he teased, “I’ve been replaced.”

You nodded, kissing the top of Patch’s head, “he’s a little less needy than you, so I think he’s already my favourite guy.”

“We don’t have to keep him,” he joked, but you both knew Yoonoh would never take him back. You were already so in love with Patch, and already Yoonoh was struggling to imagine what Christmas would be without him around.

“We can take a trip to the store tomorrow and get lots of bits for him,” he suggested, taking out the one toy he’d been given out of his pocket, throwing it for Patch to run and pick up. “They said that you know all his favourites, so all I have to do is pay.”

“In his old age, he’s not a fussy boy,” you assured him, taking the toy from Patch as he bought it back. “Like I say, he’s a lot less fussy than you are. Trust me, you’ll love him just as much as I do in a matter of days, he’s the perfect fit for the two of us.”

Yoonoh nodded, taking the toy from you to throw once again. “Hopefully, we can give him the best possible home for the rest of his days.”

“All he wants is cuddles and attention, it’s easy enough. I’m sure you saw some of the crazier dogs we had at the shelter, but Patch is chill. I bet we’ll forget he’s even here most of the time, it’ll be a lot easier than looking after a child.”

“It’s good practice though,” he commented, taking you slightly by surprise. “I don’t mean now, but maybe in a few years.”

“I think you’re right,” you smiled, watching as he began to panic, thinking he’d said the wrong thing. “Maybe that’s something to think about a few Christmases down the line, I’ve already had a good enough present for this year.”

Yoonoh’s head nodded, as Patch sat himself between you both, already searching for the attention you’d told Jaehyun he loved.

“I hope you didn’t have your hopes up for any better presents this year, because Patch is definitely the big one,” Yoonoh told you.

You pressed your lips gently to his cheek, “trust me, bringing Patch home as already exceeded all of my expectations, there’s nothing else you need to get me for Christmas this year. I just hope that my present to you matches how good this is.”

“Just having you with me is a good enough present for me.”

“You can’t be soppy around Patch,” you chuckled, “he doesn’t like it.”

“Well…I am so sorry.”

His hand ran along the full length of Patch’s body as he began to settle, taking off the lead that was still around his neck.

“Seeing as this is home now, you won’t have to worry about wearing this here,” Yoonoh whispered down to him.

“Welcome to your new home Patch!”

---

Masterlist

[lets-share-neen]

[Podcast Recommendations]

Podcasts I listen to - Part 1

As I am basically non-stop listening to tons of podcasts lately, I figured I could also do one of these recommendation posts to spread the word! I will include German and English, fictional and non-fictional ones. Some of these are probably well-known, while others might be hidden treasures. I will start with the fictional ones and make several parts.

The Unexplainable Disappearance of Mars Patel

This has gotta be the cutest podcast I have ever listened to and one of my current favourites! It's aimed at kids, probably around Middle School age, but it's really entertaining and enjoyable for all ages. It's about a group of kids who try to solve the disappearances of their friends and other strange things happening in their town and around school. The characters are likeable, really diverse (the main character is at least half Indian, one is coded as autistic, another one as trans) and actually played by kids their age. If you enjoy the 'kids solving mysteries' type of story, this is something for you. It has me on the edge of my seat sometimes. To the Stars!

(3 Seasons, completed. Later episodes are behind a paywall. I am still trying to figure out how I can continue listening as I am not based in the US and I am really mad cause I was so hooked... Might buy that super expensive CD boxset if I’m getting really tempted.)

How i Died

This was a lucky find and I was hooked instantly. This podcast is also one of my current favourites. It's about Forensic Pathologist John Spacer who is able to see and talk to ghosts. He basically solves crimes with the information and clues he gets from the autopsy and their statements. They don't always tell him the truth though and he struggles a lot with his talent and constantly being harrassed by dead people. He tries to keep his talent a secret but that’s harder than you think when dead people and weird deaths that seem to be connected start piling up. If the first episode doesn't pull you in, try at least two more! It really starts to up its game then and episode 5 is the start of an overarching plot. I love the main character more and more with every episode! Also the creator is lovely and really passionate about his podcast, which is always a plus. I am seriously considering becoming a patreon.

(1 Season, airing. There are plans for a second season.)

The Six Disappearances of Ella McCray

To celebrate her engagement, Ella McCray and other members of her family and friends go on a trip to a remote vineyard. Ella suddenly insists to go on a short hike down to the river. Then Ella disappears. The other six people have all seen her disappearing but everyone gives a totally different account of what has happenend, one weirder than the other. Who is lying? Who is telling the truth? What really happenend to Ella McCray? Lots of diverse characters that record their ongoing investigation and what is happening. I am only 3 episodes in but I will continue as the weird eyewitness accounts really got me interested. Other podcasts are more of a priority for me though right now so it might take a while until I finish this one.

(1 Season, completed. There are plans for a second season.)

The Black Tapes

This is probably the one everybody knows and listens to. It’s about journalist Alex Reagan who finds herself sucked into the world of supernatural investigation, ghosts, demons and Dr. Strand, founder of the Strand Institute, who devotes his life to debunking strange phenomena. It starts off as an investigation about the cases Dr. Strand couldn’t solve so far but later becomes about a lot more as well as Dr. Strand’s past. It started sooo good and I loved the first half of season 1, but I am at the end of season 2 now and it sadly really starts to drag on and there are no answers whatsoever. I feel like the story isn’t moving forward at all and while I really enjoyed the black tapes cases it moved into a direction that doesn’t really keep me interested. I’ve also heard that season 3 is not going to get any better, so I am a bit disappointed right now. I will still finish this though I guess, cause I want to know what's up with my boy Simon. I still recommend this one though, cause the first few episodes are really really spooky and good.

(3 Seasons, completed.)

Breakers

The world as we know it has ended. A virus, meant to be a cure for cancer, has gotten out of control and killed billions of people all over the world. Society has collapsed. We follow a lone survivor and his dog as they try to live in this new world of destruction and desperate people who are all in fear of an infection. This kind of reminds me of The Last of Us but without the infected getting insane. It's more about survival and what other people are capable of. I was hooked from the beginning - there is only one narrator, so it's more like an audio book with soundeffects less than an audio drama, but I really like him. Also his dog companion is a huge plus and needs to be protected at all costs. Great stuff so far, this is a story that’s totally up my alley!

(4 Seasons, completed.)

Passenger List

An airplane vanishes from thin air. A couple months later the theories and speculations are still ongoing and the plane believed to be in the ocean somewhere, hit by a bird strike. The families of the passengers are still grieving and there is no sign of any bodies or plane parts. Not everyone can accept the situation and one young woman tries to find the truth behind the apparent plane crash, not being able to accept her brothers’ death who was on board of the plane.  I am two episodes in and don’t know where the story is going at all but I am really enjoying it so far! It kind of reminds me of a Sebastian Fitzek novel.

(1 Season, airing.)

There is a lot more, but I will split this into multiple posts so for now happy listening!

[mattkenzie]

My Highlights of 2019

So with 2019 coming to a close (and I have to say that the year has come and gone... but I strangely had times that slowed down). This year I recently started to use hashtags so that is a learning experience and maybe get myself noticed for a while.

Ships of 2019 ❤️

Beau and Jester (Critical Role Season 2)

Catra and Adora (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power)

Movies 🎥 🍿

This year my local cinema was closed for refurnishment so I never got to watch much movies this year. I used to like going to the movies but there is this unwritten rule where ‘you can’t go into a cinema on my own’ and ‘going to a U-Rated (Universal) as an adult without a child is frowned upon.’ So I think you know what? I’ll get the movie physically so I can watch it twice as it pays for my cinema ticket. Maybe in the new year I’ll hunt down the MCU Boxsets.

Avengers: Endgame 🥇

🍿 Captain Marvel 🥈

Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse 🥉

Sonic the Hedgehog (So glad Sonic got an update!)

Avengers: Infinity War

Spider-Man: Far From Home

🍿 Steven Universe: The Movie

🍿 Black Panther

Doctor Strange

Frozen 2 (My principle still stands that I detest Frozen)

How to Train Your Dragon

💿 Lord of the Rings

💿 Thor Ragnarok

Guardians of the Galaxy

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

Spider-Man: Homecoming

🍿 Toy Story 4

The Hobbit (ONLY the first 2 films!)

Spirited Away

Movie Characters

Live Action TV 📺

Animated TV 📺

TV Characters

Music Groups 🎤🎸🥁

Musicals 🎭

Just the one musical that I’ve enjoyed this year and that is...

Beetlejuice (Beetlejuice, being young and naive doesn’t mean that I’m an easy mark.)

Books 📚

This year I have promised myself that I’d read a new book once a month back in 2018 and it came back with a vengeance in 2019 and I have been enjoying reading more that I prefer fantasy and built such a small library. Yes, this year I’ve been spending less time watching television and giving my imagination a creativity an exercise. I think in 2020, I’ll try to give YA novels a chance... yet I noticed the YA protagonists are female. I want to try Leigh Bardugo’s Trilogy, The Throne of Glass, The Mortal Instrumentals and more of Rick Riordan. I do kind of feel bad for not reading The Simarrillion (as I never got into books as a child/teenager).

Harry Potter series 🥇

Percy Jackson and the Olympians 🥉

A Song of Ice and Fire (Game of Thrones)

Discworld

Good Omens

Authors and Poets 📚✒️

Video Games 🎮

So I’ve been spending less money on video games this year it feels like it’s a good thing but sometimes we have to be adult about things in this day and age because responsibility demands sacrifice. I do find life difficult at times but I know that I can pop in a CD and find enjoyment in the games that I want to play. So what about the video games that aren’t on the Tumblr fandom list? Well to abridge my list... Trails of Cold Steel 1 & 2, Baldur’s Gate 1 & 2: Enhanced Edition and Planescape Torment & Icewind Dale: Enhanced Edition, King of Fighters 2000, King of Fighters ‘97, Fatal Fury Special and Garou: Mark of the Wolves. I was ecstatic to hear Terry Bogard being in Smash. But what about those games that are no Tumblr but not on mine? It’s simple, I’m not interested in them.

Overwatch 🥇

Minecraft 🥈

🎮 Fire Emblem: Three Houses 🥉

Undertale

🎮 Pokémon Sword and Shield

🎮 The Sims 4

🎮 Persona 5 (I can’t wait for Royal)

Deltarune

🎮 Danganrompa

🎮 Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Can’t wait for the sequel)

Stardew Valley

🎮 Borderlands 3

🎮 Kingdom Hearts III

Detroit: Become Human

🎮 The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

🎮 Ace Attorney (Still salty about not having Miles Edgeworth Investigations and The Great Ace Attorney though)

Taletale: The Walking Dead

🎮 Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

🎮 Animal Crossing: New Leaf

Cyberpunk 2077

Dragon Age Inquisition

🎮 Fallout 4

Minecraft ⛏

I’ve stopped watching Minecraft videos for about 2 years now (as I loved the Yogscast), but I somehow do miss playing it on my phone or on a console, I think in 2020 I will get a copy on the Switch because one of my friends have been playing Minecraft on the Switch.

Mobile Games/Apps 📱

To be honest, I don’t do any form of mobile gaming (I’m mostly against the idea of ‘micro transactions’ just the sake of pay to win). Like when it comes to video games on computers and consoles I will gladly get the DLC to give my games more depth and longer replay value.

Video Game Characters

Raphael (Fire Emblem: Three Houses)

Pokémon

So with Pokémon Sword and Shield being released, I was having some mixed feelings about it. Did I like the Thanos snap? I can live with it. Did I like the new pokémon? Some of them are a hit and miss (I liked the starters, I chose Scorbunny at first but when I was spoiled with Grooky’s final evolution... I jumped ship). Do I like the Dynamax/Gigantamax system? To be honest I was hoping for Armoured Evolutions.

Brand New World

Grooky Gang

Anime & Manga

Web Celebrities

Web Series

So with me losing interest in television comes a rise in watching my shows online. I normally do enjoy watching Critical Role on Monday (as I need some sleep on Friday at silly o’clock in the morning) but I have enjoyed discovering Sander’s Side (YouTube’s version of Pixar’s Inside Out) and listening to The Adventure Zone that I bought the comics (I can’t wait for Volume 3) and Dimension 20’s Fantasy High.

Critical Role 🥇

RWBY 🥈

Sander’s Sides 🥉

The Adventure Zone

Camp Camp

Hazbin Hotel

gen:LOCK

Dimension 20

Memes

I will never understand memes (so please don’t ask)

OK, Boomer!

Raiding Area 51

Thicc is the new Phat

Tumblr Communities

So I stated that this year that I would be reading a book once a month and I have started to appreciate them more than I do with Television and Video Games so I’ve been blogging what books that I have read and eventhough I don’t know what is getting released (like I do with video games and movies). I have been enjoying starting out with bookblr.

Bookblr

Art Styles

Beauty & Fashion Brands 👕👖🥾

Sadly, I gained a lot of weight this year that I now have to get size 46 waist jeans and chinos so I buy clothing from Bad Rhino (I am not proud of myself for that), but the good news is that my brushing/flossing have been improving and I have stopped biting my nails ever since I bought myself nail clippers.

Astrology ♒️

I don’t really follow astrology but I like to look at the Aquarius posts for fits and gigs so apparently Aquarius is in 3rd place in the trending.

Aquarius ♒️🥉

Tumblr and Social Impact

LGBTQIA+

[hopoo]

Devblog #12 – Somewhere, Over the Double Fucking Rainbow

Hello there! This is Chris, hijacking the RoR2 devblog to share a few notes on music.

Tl;dr:

Yes, I am writing the music for RoR2

No, there won’t be a Coalescence 2

Chanson à nouveau..

The day I would start composing for RoR2 was a day I looked forward to with equal amounts of excitement and fear. The score to the original RoR is one I hold very dearly. It is music I loved writing, created during a very special time of my life, infused by each and every musical influence of my childhood and adulthood. It’s a perfect capture of me at that particular space and time. It also happens to be my most successful soundtrack to date, primarily because it’s part of a great game that people love to play, but also—if people’s feedback is to be believed—because it’s not too bad in its own right.

Now I find myself exploring the musical world or RoR once again and I can assure you it’s an awe-inspiring place! It’s also immense, savage and untrodden... You can witness this for yourself in the wonderful images posted on this blog and all over the internet, but let me tell you, it’s one thing looking at it and a whole different thing experiencing it first-hand.

The move to 3D was a bold one and I’m its biggest supporter. Honestly, even if it didn’t offer this amazing opportunity to expand the game’s universe into this whole new level of detail and immersion, I would still embrace it only because it gives me the perfect excuse—the obligation, even—to avoid repeating myself. The thing I feared most starting this project was writing the same music all over again. Not because I don’t like the existing music (I love it) but because the existing music already… exists. What would be the point of Coalescence 2 (some people have actually asked for it)? If anyone wants to listen to Coalescence it’s right there for the listening. The RoR OST is a product of very specific, irreplicable circumstances. Even if I wanted to write sequels to these tracks, I couldn’t. They would be mere parodies.

So, I’m writing new music for a new game. Hopefully it will be better music for a better game, but I’m going to be satisfied if turns out being good music for a good game. I know many of you will not be happy reading this but I ask you to be open minded and trust me. If you liked the music for the first game chances are, you’ll like this one too. It’s the same person doing the writing (and performing, and producing, and mixing, and mastering) after all. It will be different, but it won’t be that different.

Paying my Dews

Let’s make sure we avoid any misunderstanding here: I don’t take the RoR musical legacy lightly. Rest assured that many things will carry over, not least of which the RoR motif. The usual odd meter and various polyrhythms will be featured prominently too. There’s drumming, lots of drumming, way too much drumming…. Several cameos of familiar instruments and even entire sections that will sound very reminiscent to old players. And then, there’s the unsung (pun intended) hero: form. Even though you can’t literally hear it you can certainly feel it. Form is the glue holding the music together. Just like with the first game, I’m working my ass off to fit these new tracks into meticulously woven forms.

As such, all the above elements that are part and parcel to the RoR sound will not be let behind. As previously mentioned, this is terra incognita we’re heading into and only a fool would go into the unknown without a flashlight. I plan to use the original music to illuminate all the new one hidden in the darkness beyond.

Forecast

It’s still too early to tell what the new soundtrack will actually sound like. I guess it will sound more like the original RoR than anything else—a definition as intentionally vague as can be. A word I liked using to describe the first soundtrack was “monolithic”. I feel the RoR2 OST will be even more so. To use a classical music analogy, if RoR1 was a suite, RoR2 will be more like a symphony. Don’t worry though, I’m still delivering discreet pieces of music that you will be able to tell apart (and prefer over others). Let’s just say I’ve set up my sessions like communication vessels of sorts.

For the time being, you can sample some new music in the game’s teaser and this SoundCloud playlist (which I plan to sparsely update). There’s a lot of material already written but most of it is still being forged into shape. There are also new things we’re testing to make the in-game music more dynamic and meaningful to the player, which have directly impacted my workflow. For the moment, all I can say I’m working on it steadily but slowly—slower than usual (sorry, Duncan & Paul!). As I said, while I’m very excited I’m also quite fearful. There’s plenty of pressure to satisfy the many fans of the music from the original game (thank you all so much, btw!!!) and even more self-imposed pressure to write music that I feel proud of and enjoy listening to for years to come. You see, I’m trying to uncover music I’ve not written before and I need to make sure my excavation brings to surface more than just petrified feces…

FAQ

When? When the great Magma Worm in the sky deems us worthy.

Where? All over the place, starting with Bandcamp.

Vinyl? Probably. Hopefully in a nice boxset with an RoR1 re-print.

Engineer Edition 2? Yes, but no sheet music this time around. Too many arpeggiators and modular patches for it to make any sense.

DEADBOLT 2? I sure damn hope so!

“It Can’t Rain All the Time”

That will be all for now! If you made it this far, thank you for reading and see you next time! If you want to keep the conversation going you can find me in the social media outlets below, where I will post the occasional RoR2 update, answer all your questions and share pictures of my cats:

Twitter | Facebook | Instagram |YouTube |SoundCloud

Take care, Chris

[lurking-latinist]

It's time... for me to start listening to Big Finish. So, of course, I have come to you. Suggestions for where to start? Sixth Doctor stuff preferred, of course? Do you have favorites? Do Tell!

:D !!! this is the best ask ever!

(I assume then that you have finished Trial of a Time Lord and that I can safely recommend audios that spoil it?)

I can't remember whether you said you have Spotify. If you do, Big Finish on Spotify is a good (and free!) place to start; the first 50 entries in the "Main Range" (Doctors 5-7, and 8 before he got his own range) and some extras are available. (Be careful you don't accidentally have it on shuffle, though--ask me how I know!) See this useful article by @circular-time for a guide to who's in what and what order they go in, e.g. if you want to follow a particular character or a particular arc: http://vhswhovian.com/2017/11/index-of-free-big-finish-on-spotify/ On the other hand, many Big Finish audios are more or less standalone, especially the ones that fill in gaps in TV continuity.

Recs below the cut!

Of the Sixth Doctor audios available for free on Spotify, these are some top picks:

The Marian Conspiracy. Introduces new companion Evelyn, a middle-aged history professor whom I love very dearly. She's a delight, the historical setting is used to good effect, and Six's dark side and kindness are both well handled.

All of Evelyn's audios are good, and you can definitely have a good time just following her story! Other standout Evelyn stories that are free: The Apocalypse Element is a big sci-fi blockbuster (well, in audio form), although I'm not sure how impactful it would be if you haven't watched Romana's TV stories as well--she's a major character in it.

Jubilee is possibly, still, Big Finish's masterpiece, the story that inspired the new series' Dalek. Dark but not despairing, it finds the Doctor and Evelyn in an alternate, dystopian 20th-century England created by a Dalek invasion. A failed Dalek invasion.

Doctor Who and the Pirates is a hilarious and heartbreaking, extremely meta story. It's about the power of art and storytelling to help us cope with guilt and grief. And pirates. It's also a Gilbert and Sullivan pastiche: Colin Baker sings I Am the Very Model of a Gallifreyan Buccaneer. And he can sing!

Those are my Six and Evelyn top picks, and the Evelyn stories are a great place to start with Big Finish. But if you've been watching the TV series, you're probably thinking that you miss Peri and/or want to know more about Mel. So here are some recommendations with the TV companions:

The One Doctor is pure comedy: in a distant future where everything is banal, Six and Mel meet a conman impersonating the Doctor and his beautiful assistant Sally-Anne, who assume they're running the same con--only for the bickering pairs to encounter a quite genuine alien menace who needs them to build IKEA furniture, win a trivia competition, and visit a very lonely Jelloid. Bonnie Langford has a knack for comedy that really shines here.

...Ish is a Six and Peri story, and it's the audio that got me into Big Finish and in fact into Six at all. @circular-time describes it as "a little esoteric" and she's not wrong; suffice it to say that the villain in this story attacks a conference of lexicographers through the medium of words, quite literally. Intrigued? Then you'll probably like it.

Some of the Lost Stories are interesting: audio versions of TV stories that never actually got made, including Six and Peri stories that were replaced by Trial. I remember enjoying Paradise 5 (infiltrating a space resort) and Point of Entry (Christopher Marlowe), but I don't remember all that much about them, unfortunately.

The Destiny of the Doctor boxset is a series of stories, one for each Doctor, that all connect up at the end. They're in what's called the "Companion Chronicle" format, which is to say that unlike most Big Finish audios, they're not full-cast but instead read like audiobooks by a single performer, in this case Nicola Bryant (Peri). She reads beautifully and the story stands well on its own.

Big Finish has also made a few, mainly short stories available for totally free on their Soundcloud. Of these, Urgent Calls is by far my favorite--a wonderful solo story for Six that uses the audio medium to great effect. I think The Ratings War, which is quite funny, is also there.

If you decide to spend money, the first 100 of the Main Range are very cheap downloads. Highlights include:

The rest of Evelyn's stories: Arrangements for War is deservedly beloved, The Nowhere Place is a particular favorite of mine, and 100, a collection of four short stories, is worth getting if only for the delightfully meta "The 100 Days of the Doctor."

The Wormery brings Six, struggling to find himself after his trial, together with Iris Wildthyme, a character who started as a parody of the Doctor and knows it perfectly well. Iris has her own audio series, but you don't need to know much about her to enjoy The Wormery. She drinks like a fish, her TARDIS is a red London bus (and it's smaller on the inside), and her fabulous sense of style runs to leopard print and big hats: everything else, she'll explain herself!

Her Final Flight is the first of several excellent outlets for your Six and Peri post-Trial feels. I won't spoil it, but it's very good.

The Juggernauts is a good one for Mel's character. Separated from the Doctor, she finds purpose helping with a space colony's research program--but it may not be quite what she thinks...

I personally like Year of the Pig, which features a talking pig, Turkish steam baths, the Doctor's tipsy quarrel with Marcel Proust, and the looming shadow of WWI, but... well, that was probably enough for you to tell whether you'll like it or not!

The Wishing Beast is another great Six and Mel story. It's actually a three-parter, The Wishing Beast, which comes with a connected one-parter, The Vanity Box; they're set in different times and places but are narratively connected!

Beyond the first 100 stories of the Main Range, prices go up, so I tend to just buy things that sound up my alley. I really enjoyed the Six and Charley audios (starting with The Condemned) but they won't make much sense unless you've also listened to the Eight and Charley audios (which you should, if you want to branch out from Six; the early ones are on Spotify, starting with Storm Warning).

Recorded Time and Other Stories is an excellent anthology of Six and Peri stories. My favorite is "A Most Excellent Match": Peri gets trapped inside a VR Jane Austen simulator game, and the Doctor has to rescue her within the terms of the literary genre!

The Wrong Doctors is Mel's introduction episode! Sort of. It gets complicated. Anyway, it contains a version or versions of how Six and Mel might have met, and it's a very good story.

The Widow's Assassin, similarly, contains a version of what might have happened to Peri after Trial. It will give you all the feelings the show left unspoken--but not everything is what it seems!

Trial of the Valeyard is particularly enjoyable if you liked the courtroom aspect of Trial: featuring returns of Michael Jayston (the Valeyard) and Lynda Bellingham (the Inquisitor), but now the Valeyard is the one being inquired into....

I haven't listened to The Last Adventure yet, but I'm told it's incredible. It's the full story of the Sixth Doctor's regeneration: it's not just falling over!

If you like River Song, I have to recommend The Diary of River Song series 2. (It's not necessary to have heard series 1.) She meets Six and Seven, and her audio with Six made me ship it. They're adorable.

The Behemoth features Six with recent audio companions Flip and Constance, but you don't need to know them to enjoy the story, which is a pure historical set in 18th century Bath. There's no alien menace here--instead, the villains are slave traders. The audio has some very memorably funny parts (comedy of manners, I would say), but treats its subject with deserved seriousness.

If you like Flip and Constance, The Middle is also really good--set in a sci-fi society that's segregated based on age. Which is really unfortunate, given that it's Constance's birthday.

I know this is a lot--I got a bit carried away! I love a lot of Sixth Doctor audios, some probably more than they deserve, and there are probably others that I haven't given their due here at all. But I hope this is a helpful starting point to get oriented to what types of audio stories are available, where you can get them, and which ones you might enjoy. Honestly, though, you can't go wrong!

Have a wonderful time--and, if you have the inclination to share some reviews or thoughts, I'd love to know what you think of them!

[wildroseofarran]

Moving Day || Tristan, Meg, & Jeremiah

Tristan: It had been nearly two weeks since Tristan's meeting with Jeremiah and a full week of Ronan telling him several times a day that he needed to get in touch with him so he could get laid.

Tristan didn't plan on doing that any time soon, but he did need to get in touch with Jeremiah. Especially once his mother had told him that she'd found a couple of potential places for Jeremiah to live.

{Text to Sunshine Man} Hey Sunshine Man :)

Jeremiah: Jeremiah smiled at the sight of the message. That must mean an apartment has been found, right?! Dobby will soon be a free elf!

{Text: Tristan} ACK! A WILD FISHERMAN APPEARS

{Text: Tristan} SUNSHINE MAN USES: HEY, HOW ARE YOU?

Tristan: Oh, god. He'd forgotten how quickly and easily this man could get a smile out of him.

{Text} I'm doing good!

{Text} You?

Jeremiah: {Text} Good!

He sent a picture of himself in a bright yellow hoodie, hugging a boxset of Batman: The Animated Series

{Text} I've clearly been VERY busy!! How's your 1000 injuries?

Tristan: Tristan chuckled.

{Text} They've mostly healed. Got some new scars to add to my collection.

{Text} Too busy to have breakfast with my mama and find a new place to live?

Jeremiah: {Text} That's good!!!

{Text} I sent that message too quickly before I finished reading what you wrote It isn't good that you're gonna have scars im sorry

{Text} Unless you think it's a good thing in which case it's totally a good thing and I take back what I said!!!

{Text} But if you think it's a bad thing I'm sorry.

{Text} You shouldn't think it's a bad thing though Im sure they look great and that you'll make peace with them!

{Text} Unless they ruin your self-esteem in which case I'll help you look into ways of removing scars, if that's what you want. In which case that's okay.

{Text} Tristan: Tristan's face already hurt, this was ridiculous. Completely ridiculous. He was far too old to be having this kind of reaction to a happy man being himself.

{Text} I'm just fine with my scars, sunshine man, your reaction is fine

{Text} How about tomorrow? I can come pick you up around 9 and we can go to the bakery

Jeremiah: {Text} 9? am? That still exists? They haven't cancelled that yet?

{Text} I'll do my best O Captain, My Captain! See you then! : D

Tristan: {Text} We could make it 9:30 if 9 is too early? Or 10 even

Jeremiah: {Text} NOW I FEEL BAD

{Text} Please make it for 10 my body would appreciate it...

Tristan: He laughed.

{Text} 10 it is XD

{Text} See you tomorrow!

Jeremiah: {Text} Thanks!!! See ya. Take care!

He should probably... go to sleep right now...

Tristan: After texting Jeremiah, Tristan called his mom and told her they'd meet her at the bakery tomorrow at ten and to save them a table if she got there first.

The next morning at 9:50, he was knocking at Jeremiah's door.

Jeremiah: Tristan would hear gasping.

"You're EARLY!!"

Tristan: "It's ten!" Tristan laughed.

Jeremiah: "Ten TO ten!" and now for frantic attempts of dressing and drying after spending forty minutes singing in the shower.

Tristan: "Close enough! Sorry, I tried really hard to be late."

Jeremiah: "You didn't try HARD ENOUGH. You have a BOAT, you could've been HOURS late!"

Tristan: "I didn't sail here!" he chuckled. "I drove. And being hours late would've been rude."

Jeremiah: He opens the door, adjusting the collar around his neck. Why is it so - oh. His shirt is on backwards. He'll just... slowly... close the door and fix that...

Tristan: Jeremiah would be greeted with a grin that slowly became a laugh as the door closed.

Jeremiah: Okay! The door swung open again to reveal Jeremiah and his wide smile.

"Hi!"

Tristan: Tristan smiled back. "Well good morning, sunshine man. Ready for food?"

Jeremiah: "Pff. Always." He checks he has everything and then steps forward to shut the door behind him.

Tristan: "Then follow me." Tristan led them back downstairs and out to his truck.

"It doesn't smell like fish, promise," he said as he opened the door for Jeremiah.

Jeremiah: "I'll be the judge of that, sir." he replies as he gets into the truck. He looks around, inspecting everything, especially what was or wasn't hung over the rear-view mirror.

Tristan: "It's clean!" He closed the door and made his way around the truck.

Which it was. He'd taken extra care to make sure his truck was clean in preparation for today, and had even hung an air freshener from his rearview mirror along with the various bits of sea glass and seashells that were already there.

Jeremiah: "Hey I've got a question." he says when Tristan joins him in the truck. "Why can people hear the ocean in seashells? What's that about?"

Tristan: "It's not really the ocean," Tristan said as he pulled onto the road. "It's the ambient noise resonating inside the walls of the shell. The pitch of the sound depends on the size of the shell, how much air is in it, that kinda thing. But, boring facts aside, that resonating happens to sound like waves crashing on a shore."

Jeremiah: "Hey! That's so not boring." He got comfortable in the seat, looking at the other. "Pretty cool, and sad. People think they're hearing something... big and open but they're really just hearing a small little shell. It's like... the illusion of freedom."

Tristan: "I think it's just this very human need to inject wonder into our everyday lives. It's sad if that's the only source of wonder in someone's life, though."

Jeremiah: Hmm...

"I think that's good. The injecting wonder into the mundane part. Like, there's nothing wrong in being amazed by everything. Look at this truck! How awesome is it that all you have to do is push your feet and move your arms and this super heavy piece of machinery does what you tell it to?! And how cool is it that your phone is literally just wires and electricity and you can TALK TO PEOPLE INSTANTLY?!"

Tristan: No one on earth would be short of wonder in their lives with Jeremiah around. His sense of wonder was healthy enough for ten people.

"You're absolutely right. We're literally living in the future we imagined as children. We've got electric cars and VR videogames and huge, colorful cities, and bullet trains and AI."

Jeremiah: "And yet we STILL haven't found a way to keep boats from tipping over when waves are a bit big!"

Tristan: "Ah well, Mother Nature can't be contained with technology."

Jeremiah: "What about with hover boats?"

Tristan: “Those defy physics.”

Jeremiah: "In WHAT WORLD?"

Tristan: “In this one,” he chuckled. “Mother Nature doesn’t keep you on the ground, gravity does.”

Jeremiah: "Listen. The more you learn about science, the less you know and understand. The possibilities are endless. Hover boats will totally be a thing one day!"

Tristan: “They kind of are. Don’t know if they actually hover but they’re called hover boats.”

Jeremiah: LOUD GASP.

"GET ONE!!"

Tristan: “I’d have nowhere to put it! Or any use for it for that matter.”

Jeremiah: "NO USE FOR A HOVER BOAT?!"

Tristan: "I already have a ship and a car!" he laughed. "Got land and water travel covered."

Jeremiah: "What about air travel, Tristan? What. About. That?!"

Tristan: “Plane.”

Jeremiah: "And DO you have a plane?!"

Tristan: “No, but it’s super easy to get a plane ticket whenever I need to fly somewhere, which is almost never.”

Jeremiah: "That's not the same. Soz, dude."

Tristan: Tristan laughed. “Be that as it may, I don’t think the hover boats we currently have actually fly. I think they float like...an inch off the ground?”

Jeremiah: "Huh. I wonder how much power it takes just to float an inch above the ground. They should make salt-water fueled boats and wind-powered airplanes. That just makes SENSE."

Tristan: “It does. But the people in charge rarely do things that make sense.”

Jeremiah: Jeremiah gasped, "Don't talk about the people in charge!" He whispered, "They're probably listening right now!"

Tristan: “You’re right,” Tristan whispered back. Then, at normal volume, “I mean of course they made the right decisions! And so smart too!”

Jeremiah: "SO SMART, WOW I WISH I COULD BE THEM. SO MUCH RESPECT."

Tristan: “Right? I feel so safe all the time!”

Jeremiah: "I don't know about you, but I never ever cover my laptop webcam with tape because of how safe I feel. Also Black Mirror should be cancelled."

Tristan: “Well of course not, there’s definitely not some random FBI dude watching our every move. Completely insane. Black Mirror is trash TV.”

He was trying his best not to laugh as he parked in front of the bakery.

Jeremiah: Jeremiah grinned tapped his index to his lips. Yep! Keep it shtum!

He stretched when the car parked and went to open the car door. "Is she already here?"

Tristan: “Um....” Tristan got out and looked around for his mom’s little convertible. “No, not yet. Let’s grab a table. Inside or out?”

Jeremiah: "Uhhhhh INSIDE 'cause otherwise you have to deal with flies!"

Tristan: “Inside it is,” he said with a grin.

The door was held open for Jeremiah.

Jeremiah: "Damn, you really know how to treat a lady!" His smile matched Tristan's as he entered and looked around.

Tristan: “I try my best. Hey, Laura!” he called to the woman behind the counter.

“Hi! I’m out of blueberry muffins, you have to wait for the next batch.”

“And my mama says she knows me better than I know myself.”

Laura chuckled. “Your mama stopped feeding you breakfast every day. Sit, I’ll bring you some coffee.”

“Coffee and...” Tristan turned to Jeremiah. “What would you like to drink?”

Jeremiah: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Tristan is a blueberry muffin man!! Muffins must look so small in his big beefy fisherman hands.

"A STRAWBERRY MILKSHA- I mean. Coffee. Pfft. I'm an adult. Coffee. Tea. Water. Taxes. I'm-" gonna go sit down now.

Tristan: Laura's face was a mixture of confusion, amusement of delight as she looked to Tristan for some clarification.

"Two coffees and a glass of orange juice," he said, following Jeremiah to the table.

Jeremiah: .............. Dammit Jeremiah doesn't LIKE coffee!

"So excited about my coffee." he sat down and folded and refolded the napkin. "So - such a - coffee. Caffeine.  Because I don't have enough energy naturally."

Tristan: Tristan just grinned and watched Jeremiah be flustered for a little bit.

"Coffee's for my mama. Ordered you juice."

Jeremiah: "... Oh. Cool. Cool, cool, cool. Thanks." he pushed the napkin aside. "I lied, I don't like coffee and I'm not an adult, I'm sorry."

Tristan: "No problem. I don't think I count as an adult either so don't even worry about it."

Jeremiah: "Really?! Do you watch cartoons?"

Tristan: "Old ones, yeah. Looney Tunes, Yogi, that kinda thing."

Jeremiah: "Awwww that's cute. Little blueberry muffin man."

Tristan: "Wait, what?" he chuckled. "Little blueberry muffin man?"

Jeremiah: "Yeah! Didn't that individual over there say you're basically addicted to blueberry muffins?"

Tristan: "Addicted is a strong word. I just have one a minimum of three times a week and prefer them over all other muffins."

Jeremiah: "That's just what an addict would say!" Jeremiah placed a hand on Tristan's, "It's okay. We'll get you help."

Tristan: He laughed. "Just wait until you see these muffins, you'll understand completely."

That was the sight Meg walked in on. Her son's happy, laughing face as a handsome man she didn't recognize touched his hand.

Could this be...?

"Oh, hey, Meg!"

Laura's voice turned her attention away at the same moment it drew Tristan's away from his companion.

"Hey, ma!"

Jeremiah: Jeremiah looked up, standing with a smile.

"Hi!" he waved, "I'm Jeremiah, the homeless guy."

Tristan: Oh, goodness, there was a lot to process here. Focus, Megan, she told herself.

"Hello, Laura! And hello to the two of you!"

She approached the table and held out a hand to Jeremiah. "I'm Meg, the fisherman's mama. And I'd say you're far from homeless, the Wayside is lovely. Lovely but not a permanent home." She sat in the chair Tristan pulled out for her and kissed his cheek in greeting.

Jeremiah: Jeremiah hesitated but didn't want to be rude. He'll just ignore the visions. He can do it!!! He took her hand and shook it, smiling widely at them both.

"Awwww." He said to the little kiss, "I won't say that I'm jealous out loud but just know that I totally am. Parent kisses are the best kisses." He returned to his seat. "Did you have to travel far to get here?"

Tristan: Meg smiled. "Well all of Tristan's friends have called me mama for as long as I can remember so if the spirit moves you, go on and do the same." She shook her head. "Not at all, my house isn't too far off the square. Ya'll been waiting long?"

Tristan shook his head. "Nope, just got here a little while ago. Ordered you coffee. Here it comes now."

"Aw, thank you, baby. And thank you, Laura."

"No problem!" Laura set down two mugs of coffee and a giant glass of orange juice for Jeremiah. "What are ya'll having this morning?"

Jeremiah: Mama?? Jeremiah probably took that a little too to heart. He had never had a mother. He wondered what it was like.

"Thank you!!! Do you do waffles?!" The deep train of thought came to an abrupt stop at the thought of food.

Tristan: Laura grinned. "Yes, we do, and let me tell you I fought hard for them to be on the menu. We do them topped with powdered sugar and your choice of fruit."

Jeremiah: "Well then you're an ANGEL and I choose strawberries and you're the ruler of all the land. Also this orange juice is the best thing I've ever had and I haven't even tasted it yet, I just know."

Tristan: Watching Laura's reaction was like a flashback to watching Elsie's. Her face lit up and her cheeks colored ever so faintly.

"Goodness! You just made my whole entire week!" she chuckled. "You're getting a whole heap of strawberries." She turned to Tristan. "Your weight in blueberry muffins for you." Not a question, a statement that went uncontested by Tristan. "And for you, Meg?"

"Give me one of the cheese souffles."

"All rightie, will do. Back in a sec."

Jeremiah: "A cheese soufflé?? That's a thing?" Whispered to Meg, as if it was a secret.

Tristan: She nodded. "Not just a cheese souffle. A four cheese souffle."

Jeremiah: Jeremiah gasped. "People who are lactose intolerant must seriously hate it."

Tristan: "They really must. It's a shame, really. They're missing out."

Jeremiah: "I bet it's delicious. I hope you enjoy it!"

Tristan: "You should try it sometime! They make one with spinach, too."

Jeremiah: "I will! Will you come back here with me so I can? Wouldn't feel right without you. It would be like... if there was a bunch of leaves everywhere but no trees. Just wrong. And kinda scary."

Tristan: Another one bites the dust, Tristan thought, smiling as he watched his mother be utterly charmed by Jeremiah. The sunshine man had a real talent for that.

"Aren't you the sweetest? Where on earth did Tristan find you? All his friends are salty sailors."

Jeremiah: "It was my birthday so I was having a birthday meal and Tristan got sat next to me and told me happy birthday and I said 'you too' and then died and came back to life."

Tristan: Meg laughed, not unkindly. "Well it's good someone finally said it to him. He forgets it every other year."

Jeremiah: "FORGETS his birthday?" He looked at Tristan incredulously.

Tristan: Tristan squinted at his mother before saying, "I'm a busy man! Days start to blur when you have to get up before the asscrack of dawn every day."

Jeremiah: "When is it??" He brought out his phone so that he could make a note in his calendar.

Tristan: “March fifteenth,” said Tristan. “I get all the Caesar jokes.”

Jeremiah: "Wait... we met on February 28th... and it's been... so your birthday is..." He counts on his fingers.

Tristan: “In a couple of days,” Meg supplied.

Jeremiah: "OH MY - WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO FOR IT?! Or, y'know. What are you gonna do for it? I totally don't expect to be invited if you do something, even though I would definitely day yes, but you gotta do something!"

Tristan: Meg chuckled and looked at her son. “Go on, Tristan. Tell him what you’re gonna do for your birthday.”

“.....Work.”

Jeremiah: The light in Jeremiah's eyes died. He picked up his orange juice and leaned back in his seat, sipping and judging Tristan at the same time.

Tristan: “Aw, come on now. Tourist season is upon us, people are placing bigger orders.”

Jeremiah: "Theeeeeen let me help! One more person would make the whole thing quicker, right? We can do it, you can get off work earlier and celebrate without missing out!"

Tristan: “I can’t ask you to work for me on my birthday.”

“Just bother him until he takes the day off,” Meg offered. “He gets real annoyed if you send him multiple texts in a row.”

Jeremiah: Jeremiah laughed, "What?! I always send like a thousand in one go! I must seriously piss you off. Oops - sorry!" He covered his mouth, looking at Meg. "Ironic that I have the sailor mouth, huh?"

Tristan: “Oh honey, you’re fine, I’ve heard worse. The kind of texts I’m talking about aren’t multiple helpful texts.” She smiled at her son’s glare. “They’re the kind where you send one for every word in a sentence.”

Jeremiah: "I mean... I definitely do that. Do you hate me, Tristan?!" He gasped. "You should take the day off work on your birthday to decide whether or not you hate me. The fishes will still be there the next day."

Tristan: Tristan shook her head. “Nope. You’re nowhere near her level. She’s an English major, she finds the most complicated way to structure a sentence and then goes and sends me texts that only have a comma. She’ll break you.”

Jeremiah: Jeremiah grinned. "Please do it to me!"

Tristan: “Look what you did, Megan.”

Meg burst out laughing.

Jeremiah: Fear and confusion flashed over Jeremiah's face. He was ready to clear the table so that her swing wouldn't knock anything other... but she... laughed...

White people... are wild...

"Did y- did- uh-" he's broken.

Tristan: “Mama has a troll sense of humor, forgive her.”

“I hang around college students all day, blame them.” She smiled at Jeremiah. “I would love to send you whole sentences in individual texts. I also still say you should talk Tristan into taking his birthday off.”

Jeremiah: He leaned across the table and whispered to her, "Do you think I have that kind of power? With great power comes great responsibility..."

Tristan: She nodded. “I really think you do. I believe in you.” Look how much you already make him smile and laugh, she added in her head.

Jeremiah: He hummed and leaned back.

"Sir Tristan! I now declare you not working on your birthday!" He grabs a napkin and pretends to bang it on the table. "COURT ADJOURNED!"

Tristan: Tristan gave a good-natured chuckle. He should’ve known her mom would take to Jeremiah enough to gleefully enter into cahoots with him.

“What if I take a half day?”

Jeremiah: "Then I'll work with you. Is that what you want? Really? I'll end up making friends with the fish or feeling bad for them and sending them back in the water. You might as well take the whole day."

Tristan: "A couple of hours early in the morning then. I have traps I need to bait and check."

Jeremiah: "Can't the dude you work with do it?"

Tristan: "I'm the one with the ship."

Jeremiah: "What's the worst that could happen if you didn't work at all?"

Tristan: "Well..." Okay, you got him there.

Jeremiah: Jeremiah slyly offered his hand down the side of the table for Meg to give him a low high five.

Tristan: She grinned and high-fived him as Laura came over with their breakfast.

"Here we go. Waffle with strawberries, blueberry muffin, and four cheese souffle. Ya'll need anything else?"

Jeremiah: "Yaaaaaay!" He made room for everyone's food. "WAIT! You gotta put a candle in the muffin, it's almost Tristan's birthday!"

Tristan: "Aww, did he actually remember this year?"

Jeremiah: "Yep! He even got the day off."

Tristan: "Well how about that! I'd say that earns him a candle. Any preference?" she asked Tristan.

"Surprise me." Might as well lean into it.

"Will do."

Jeremiah: "Yaaaaaaay..." Jeremiah quietly cheered, clapping a little.

Tristan: Tristan smiled. "Proud of yourself?"

Jeremiah: "VERY."

Tristan: Tristan and Meg both laughed. "At least there's that."

Laura returned with a candle shaped like a mermaid tail. "Felt appropriate," she said, sticking it in the muffin and lighting it with a lighter she'd also brought with her. "Make a wish and blow it out."

Jeremiah: Ooooh, yeeeees! Jeremiah clapped more. A wiiiiiish! Yaaaay!

Tristan: Tristan thought for a moment and blew out the candle, while Meg and Laura joined Jeremiah in his quiet applause.

"Did you make it a good one?" Meg asked.

"Tried to. We'll see if it comes true."

Jeremiah: "WHAT WAS IT?! Wait don't tell me!" He covered his ears.

Tristan: He laughed. "You wouldn't wanna hear it anyway, it's boring."

Jeremiah: "Is it about fish?"

Tristan: "Nope, not about fish."

Jeremiah: "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm weather? More muffins?!"

Tristan: "You told me not to tell!" he chuckled.

Jeremiah: Dammit!

"I WAS JUST TESTING YOU." nice save. Now eat your waffle, Jer.

Tristan: "Uh huh, sure." He grinned as he took a giant bite of muffin and proceeded to sigh happily.

Jeremiah: He tucks in, making a similar noise of pleasure.

"Laura you're the best!!"

Tristan: "Thanks, honey!" Laura called from the counter.

Jeremiah: He gave a thumbs up in her general direction before continuing to chow down.

"Oh! I almost forgot. Literally the reason we're here. You think you've found me a place?"

Tristan: "Oh! Yes." Meg nodded and set her fork down for a moment. "I have a few potentials, one of which I strongly advise against unless you're willing to take the risk. Charlie Brandt, the owner of O'Charlie's bar, has a little 'apartment' above his garage that he's renting."

Tristan immediately shook his head. "No, not there."

Meg nodded, that's the one I was going to advise against."

Jeremiah: "... Why not there? Who's Charlie Brandt, the owner of O'Charlie's bar?"

Tristan: "Let's just say it's the grossest and shadiest bar in Edenton. Charlie himself isn't that much better."

Jeremiah: "... It's uh- it's gonna be a hard pass on that one, Meg. What else ya got?"

Tristan: She nodded. "I figured. Another possibility is renting one of the smaller cabins that are scattered around here. The man who owns them all isn't that fussy, he just cares that your rent is paid on time."

Jeremiah: "Where are they?"

Tristan: "Scattered near the coast and around the woods," said Tristan.

Jeremiah: "Like a dead body?" He whispered.

Tristan: "I promise there are no dead bodies, sunshine man. Just pretty, peaceful cabins in your choice of scenery."

Jeremiah: "A cabin. In the woods. There's LITERALLY THOUSANDS OF HORROR MOVIES ABOUT THAT!"

Tristan: "They're not murdery, they're nice. Lots of people rent all year, plenty of people nearby."

Jeremiah: "... What's the other option?"

Tristan: "Third option is an apartment. There's a complex of outdoor apartments that might work.  But honestly, I'd go for one of the cabins. One of the ones near the beach if you don't like the woods. They a little bigger and more private. But of course, the choice is yours."

Jeremiah: "Oooh a beach! That could be cool?" He was looking to Tristan for approval.

Tristan: "I'd go for that, too. Mind you the ones I've seen aren't right on the beach. Ultimately, price is the deciding factor."

"Price wise Charlie wins by a longshot," said Meg. "But once again, no offense to Charlie, I don't think that's a good idea."

Jeremiah: "... Oh." Uh... "I don't really have... that much."

Tristan: "In that case, I have another potential. One I was only going to bring up if I liked you, which I do."

Jeremiah: "Awww, yay! What is it?"

Tristan: Meg smiled. "I have a spare room I've been thinking about renting. I don't have any pets, I don't smoke, my neighborhood is friendly, quiet, and nice. I tend to stay up late to grade papers but my home office is in my garage which I converted years ago so the light and noise doesn't reach the bedrooms. If you feel comfortable--and feel free to think about it--you are welcome to rent the spare room."

Jeremiah: "Wh..." He blinked. "I mean I - for now at least I can't pay you by card, and..." He scratched his head, "would you be okay with that?" Asked to both Tristan and Meg.

Tristan: "Card or cash doesn't matter to me. I'd actually prefer cash, cards annoy me. And I'd be willing to discount your rent if you agree to mow the lawn. Those are my terms."

Jeremiah: .... Tristan???? This offer is sounding really good???? Are you okay with this???

Tristan: Tristan simply smiled. He wasn't even surprised; this was exactly the type of thing his mother had done all his life. Probably all her life.

All he said was, "Her yard isn't too big, it's a good deal. And there's always cookies in the cookie jar."

Jeremiah: "YOU HAD ME AT COOKIES. I'd love to! I swear I'll be SUPER clean! Thank you so much!"

Tristan: Meg laughed. "All right, good. I was serious about the lawn thing. I will discount your rent to avoid ever touching the lawn mower again."

Jeremiah: "I'm crazy clums- I mean. I'm epic at mowing. I promise you won't regret this! Yay! Thank you!"

Tristan: "I believe in you, sunshine man," Tristan said with a smile.

"I do, too."

Jeremiah: 'Awww. Gonna make me blush."

Tristan: "It's a risk we're going to have to take." Meg finished off her coffee just as Laura swept by with another. "Just let me know when you wanna come see it and then move in."

Jeremiah: "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh now? Wait, this isn't like a Get Out kinda situation, is it?"

Tristan: "Sure, we can do it today," she chuckled. "What's Get Out?"

Jeremiah: "You haven't seen Get Out?!"

Tristan: "Name doesn't ring a bell."

Jeremiah: "Guess when we're living together we're gonna have to have loads of movie nights, huh? And Tristan can come! Have you seen Get Out?"

Tristan: "No, but I can tell you now you're neeeever gonna get her to watch it. Megan don't do horror movies."

"It's a horror movie!?"

Tristan smiled and gestured as if to say 'see?'.

Jeremiah: "ACTUALLY according to the Oscars or whatever some people think it's a comedy so you're okay!"

Tristan: Meg squinted. "But is it really a comedy?"

Jeremiah: "To... some people. Some parts. Kinda."

Tristan: "I'm gonna have to disappoint you, honey. Can't do it."

Jeremiah: "Even if Tristan holds your hand?!"

Tristan: "Tristan thinks it's hilarious to see me suffer during horror movies."

Jeremiah: Jeremiah gasped.

"Bad son!" He threw a napkin at him. "Actually I need that--" he's gonna have to reach over and get it. Waffles get messy.

Tristan: "I do not think it's hilarious to see her suffer," he chuckled, offering Jeremiah a clean napkin. "I just think it's funny when teeny little things make her jump."

Jeremiah: He took the napkin and shook his head. "I'll protect you, Meg!"

Tristan: “I couldn’t even watch those parody versions of scary movies. But I will give it exactly one try. And I reserve the right to go hide in my room.”

Jeremiah: "... We also have to have ice cream with us."

Tristan: “Oh there’s always ice cream in my house.”

Jeremiah: "We're gonna be best friends, Meg."

Tristan: "I rather think we are. Oh, almost forgot. My house pretty much doubles as a library at this point so you're free to borrow any and all of my books."

Jeremiah: "What kind of stuff do you read?"

Tristan: "Biographies, poetry, sci-fi, classics, plays, you name it."

"And, get ready for the ironic twist of the century," Tristan deadpanned around a bite of muffin. "She has a dedicated section of horror novels."

Jeremiah: Jeremiah laughed, "Aweeeesome! I'm super into philosophy and science and comic books! Do you read any comics? Oh! What's your favorite horror book and did you see the movie for it if it had one??"

Tristan: "Frankenstein, and yes, I've seen nearly all the adaptations of it. I've also read a number of graphic novels, but not really comics like the ones Tristan read when he was younger. I don't share the public's infatuation with superheroes."

Jeremiah: "Ooooooh shit. Oops, sorry!" Bad, Jer! Bad! "You don't?? You know I'm a superhero?"

Tristan: "You're fine," Meg chuckled, leaning back in her seat with her coffee now that she'd finished her souffle. She really was having a lovely time, and was so far pleased with her decision to bring up her spare room for rent.

There was always a chance it wouldn't work out, of course, but she doubted it wouldn't. Jeremiah seemed like a truly lovely man to know.

"Really, a superhero? What powers and qualifications do you possess?"

Jeremiah: "It's a secret... but I'm awesome." He wasn't exactly joking, but he wasn't exactly being direct, either... He had woken up to a strange man bestowing powers upon him. He didn't know what he was meant to do with them yet, but he's sure they held some greater purpose.

Tristan: “I thought superheroes were supposed to keep their identities a secret,” Tristan said with a grin. “He said I had to get to level 5 friend before he told me his powers.”

“Oh?” Meg smiled as well. “What level is he currently at?”

Jeremiah: "Hmmm... three. Not long left, but there's some room for improvement."

Tristan: “I’m already at three? That’s good progress. How did I get that high?”

Jeremiah: "You watched Star Wars with me and offered to help me find a place to live." Those are obviously on par.

Tristan: “That’s what any friend would do, regardless of clearance level.”

Jeremiah: "But you did it the first time you met me."

Tristan: “Call it small town hospitality.”

Jeremiah: "I've been in this town for fifty years and nobody else has done that!"

Tristan: Tristan laughed. “Fifty, huh?”

Jeremiah: He put on his best old man voice and trembled, "I'm old!"

Tristan: “Oh yeah, you’re ancient.”

Meg shook her head at them. “How long have you been here Jeremiah?”

Jeremiah: "I don't..." he laughed anxiously. "I don't remember."

Tristan: “Feels that way sometimes, doesn’t it?” She sighed wistfully. “Time feels like it moves slower here.”

Jeremiah: He rubbed his arm. Yeah. Let's go with that. He smiled sadly and finished off his food.

Tristan: Meg studied Jeremiah for a moment. She'd only known him for about an hour but already she could tell that wasn't his usual smile.

"Do you have family in the area?"

Jeremiah: "Uh... no." He twirled his fork anxiously.

Tristan: She gave him a sympathetic look. “That must be hard. But for what it’s worth, you’ve got us now.”

Jeremiah: He smiled, scratching his head. "Awww, don't make me cry in public!"

Tristan: She just laughed. “I mean it. Just call me mama.”

Jeremiah: Jeremiah gasped in excitement, "I've never had one of those before! I mean, y'know, apart from I obviously have some kind of mother. I'm not a test tube baby... that I know of. But, like, in the concept sense of a mother - growing up with one. In the grand scheme of things."

Tristan: Tristan was having real trouble not smiling. "He has two dads," he said, simplifying.

"Gotcha," Meg chuckled. "Well now you have a mama, too. My first act as your surrogate mama is to ask how your breakfast is. Good waffles?"

Jeremiah: "Delicious!" He grinned. "How's your orange thing I forgot the name of?!"

Tristan: "The souffle? Incredible. Josie--Laura's mama--really knows how to bake. Everything they sell is delicious."

Jeremiah: "Aww sweet! How's your muffin, Muffin Man?"

Tristan: Tristan just sighed contentedly in response. While the two of them had been talking Laura had brought him his second muffin and he was already halfway through it.

Jeremiah: With another laugh Jeremiah nodded. "I'm happy for you and your muffins."

Tristan: “So am I,” he said with a grin. “Want one?”

Jeremiah: "Ohhhh nooo I couldn't poooooss- yes, yes I do."

Tristan: “Laura! Can we get another muffin?”

“You haven’t even finished that one!”

“It’s for Jeremiah!”

“Oh, okay, I’ll bring it right over.”

Jeremiah: "Thaaaaaaaank yoooooooou!" He called out to her.

Tristan: "You're welcome, honey," she said, coming over with the muffin. "Anyone want more juice or coffee?"

"Coffee," said Tristan.

Jeremiah: "Uhh no thanks! I'm god - good. Not God. Yet. Wait is that blasphemy? I'M GOOD."

Tristan: "For what it's worth, I think we'd be better off if you were God," Laura said as she walked back to the counter. "Did you want any coffee, Meg?"

"I'm good, darlin'."

Jeremiah: Oh, that's an interesting compliment. He smiled at Tristan, as if silently asking how he felt about the whole God matter.

Tristan: Tristan found himself agreeing with Laura, although the only outward sign of that was a smile.

“Try the muffin, sunshine man. I promise your life will never be the same.”

Jeremiah: "YOU TRY THE MUFFIN." He was objecting for no reason other than to object. He'll reach out and break a little piece off to try anyway.

Tristan: He laughed. “What a contrary superhero we have. Whatcha think?”

Jeremiah: "Mmmmmmmmmmm OH! YOU KNOW WHAT THIS NEEDS?! WARM CUSTARD!!"

Tristan: "Laura makes really good custard," said Meg. "I think she only makes it in tart form though."

Jeremiah: "DIP THE MUFFIN INTO THE TART."

Tristan: Meg gave a sage nod. "Genius. Laura, honey, can you bring us a custard tart?"

"Coming right up!"

Tristan couldn't help but laugh again. "This has got to be the most unhealthy breakfast in the history of the universe."

Jeremiah: "YOU'RE WELCOME! Happy birthday!" He grinned and put his hands in the shape of a heart.

Tristan: "Thank you," he chuckled, finishing off his own muffin and his coffee as Laura brought Jeremiah his custard tart.

Jeremiah: "Thank you, Queen!" He pushed it closer to Tristan. "You try it first."

Tristan: "The tart or the dunking the muffin into the tart?"

Jeremiah: "Dunking. Dunk away, sir!"

Tristan: "All right." Tristan grabbed a piece of muffin and dunked--more like scooped really--into the tart. The grin that broke out across his face when he tried it was instantaneous and blinding. "Holy shit. That's so fucking good."

Jeremiah: Jeremiah laughed. "RIGHT?! Come with me and you'll see a world of pure imagination I guess?" It was his turn! Yum, yum.

Tristan: "Done. Got any other brilliant food ideas?"

Jeremiah: "Uhhhhh......................... OH! CANDY! ADD SUGARY CANDY TO IT!"

Tristan: Meg shook her head. "You two are going to have so many cavities."

Jeremiah: "WORTH IT! Try it, Meg?"

Tristan: "The dunking or whatever sugary candy concoction you're dreaming up?"

Jeremiah: "Dunking!"

Tristan: "I'll try a dunk." Which she reacted to in nearly the same way as her son.

"Next time I make muffins I'm making custard to go with them."

Jeremiah: "This is why you should always listen to random people you meet on their birthday after you've been attacked by the ocean."

Tristan: "That's a damn good quote for one of those inspirational posters."

Jeremiah: "You gonna make one?" He smiled, getting more custard and muffin into his face hole.

Tristan: "My artistic talents aren't good enough to make one."

Jeremiah: "I believe in yoooooooou - HOM." he stuffed his face.

Tristan: Tristan laughed and shook his head. “Thanks, sunshine man. Maybe I will one day.”

Jeremiah: He giggled with his mouth full. "Good! I'll be counting the days."

Tristan: "Just don't count too many." Maybe he could get someone else to make it, give it to Jeremiah as a surprise.

Jeremiah: "I can't count past twelve so you're okay."

Tristan: "Okay," Tristan chuckled. "I'll be right back."

He slipped away to the counter to pay before either of them could stop him.

Jeremiah: "Okay!" Jeremiah doesn't notice, he immediately starts having a chat with Meg about... nothing in particular.

Tristan: Meg noticed, but she said nothing. Just smiled and talked to Jeremiah until Tristan came back.

"Ya'll ready to go?" he asked. "Jeremiah's got a house to get acquainted with."

Jeremiah: "Yeah!" He grinned, standing. "I bet the hotel is gonna be SUPER glad to get rid of me."

Tristan: "You kidding? They'll be devastated."

Jeremiah: "No way. They're totally betting on how long I'll end up staying there for... maybe I should enter the bet and then take all of their money!"

Tristan: Tristan laughed. It...actually wouldn’t surprise him at all if the inn staff had a pool going. He knew for a fact they’d had them before.

“You’re too sweet to bet on. They know a good guest from a bad one, trust me.”

Jeremiah: "Sweet? You're full of compliments, Tristan. You're like a compliment machine- oh! They should SO have those! I bet everyone would want one!"

Tristan: "You know, they really should," said Meg. "Maybe you can invent the first one ever and make your fortune on making people smile."

Jeremiah: "THAT WOULD BE AWESOME! Gotta think of some good compliments though. Hmm.... oh! I can use inspiration from people around me..." he pointed at Tristan, "You're the type of person other people appreciate." then at Meg, "You're the type of person other people can rely on." he pointed at Laura, "You're the type of person who brings other people delicious food! Without you we'd be hungry!" he laughed, "I'm good at this!!"

Tristan: Tristan just smiled. "Yeah, he's going to make ten billion dollars without breaking a sweat."

"Ten? Don't be silly. Twenty, easily."

Jeremiah: "Twenty?? Who needs THAT much money. I'll give it all to Laura."

Tristan: "I knew you looked like an angel," came Laura's voice from somewhere in the kitchen.

Jeremiah: "Awwww. That's gotta be blasphemous."

Tristan: “God’ll forgive me. I make the communion wafers.”

Jeremiah: "So you're gonna turn his son into a wafer and you think that'll earn you points? Nu-uhhh."

Tristan: “Other way around,” Meg chuckled. “The wafer becomes his son. I think. I don’t know. Point is, you’re very sweet for giving Laura your imaginary twenty billion dollars.”

Jeremiah: "The secret catch is..." He whispered, "I want a lifetime supply of waffles."

Tristan: Meg laughed. “I say that’s a fair trade. Mine aren’t as good as Laura’s, but if you’re lucky I might make us some waffles for breakfast sometime.”

Jeremiah: "Ooooooh! Breakfast AND a bed all in one place - OH MY GAH - THAT'S WHERE 'BED AND BREAKFAST' COMES FROM!"

Tristan: She laughed again. “Exactly. Just with less cat themed decor. Oh! Speaking of, are you allergic to them? There’s a feral one that kinda lives in my yard.”

Jeremiah: "Uhhhhhhhhhh...." Is he allergic to cats...? "I don't... think so."

Tristan: “Okay, good. He doesn’t really get close enough to pet or anything but it’s best to be safe.”

Jeremiah: "What's his name?"

Tristan: “He doesn’t have one. I just call him Cat.”

Jeremiah: He frowned. "How could you be so meaaaaan?"

Tristan: “Names have significance. I don’t know him well enough to choose one that suits him.”

Jeremiah: "Maybe that's exactly why you should name him! Something like... 'Mysterious'... 'Secat' (instead of secret. Get it? Get it?)"

Tristan: Meg smiled. "Maybe 'Mysterious' is too on the nose. We should scour movies, TV shows, and literature for a name."

Jeremiah: "Hmmmmmm.... What colour is the cat?"

Tristan: “Orange and white.”

Jeremiah: ".... Garfield?"

Tristan: "Sold," said Tristan. "He'll be Garfield the feral cat."

Jeremiah: "Yaaaas! We should get him a cute little hat too! With bells!"

Tristan: Tristan chuckled. "He doesn't let people near him, remember? No hats."

Jeremiah: "That's because you didn't name him! It will all change now."

Tristan: "You hold on to that hope."

Jeremiah: "What do we have if not hope?!"

Tristan: Meg nodded. "A very good point. Shall we go meet Garfield and your new home?"

Jeremiah: Gasp! "YES! Please! Yay! Thank you!"

Tristan: "All rightie, let's go."

"We'll follow you," said Tristan, getting to his feet. "Come on, sunshine man."

Jeremiah: Jeremiah stood, waving to Laura.

"BYE QUEEN!"

Tristan: "Bye, angel!"

Tristan chuckled and shook his head. "Got better game than every straight man in this town."

Jeremiah: "Game? Huh?"

Tristan: "You've managed to charm three women in the short time I've known you." He held the door open for Jeremiah and his mother.

Jeremiah: Jeremiah gestured for Meg to go first.

"I have literally NO idea what you're talking about. Did Laura put drugs in your muffin, Mr. Sailor Moon?"

Tristan: "The muffins are the drug, sunshine man."

Jeremiah: "Ooooh. I'm banning you from muffins! No more! Ever again! Muahahaha!"

Tristan: "I regret to inform you that your ban is not enforceable. See you in a bit, ma!"

He waved to his mother and opened the passenger door for Jeremiah.

Jeremiah: "Thank you kind gentleman," he grinned, stepping up into Tristan's truck. The moment the other sat down he had a question coming his way. "You won't mind if I live with her, right?"

Tristan: Tristan shook his head. "Not at all. I think it's great, actually. You'll like living with her."

Jeremiah: "Do you visit her a lot?"

Tristan: "As much as I can. I try to have dinner with her at least once a week."

Jeremiah: "Huh. Guess I'll be seeing you once a week."

Tristan: "Guess you will. How you feel about that?"

Jeremiah: For some reason, that question had him fidgeting with the seatbelt he hadn't yet put in place.

"Uhh why don't you tell me what you think I feel and I'll tell you if you're right?"

Tristan: That caught Tristan off guard. He could suddenly hear Ronan's voice in his head.

"Well..." He pulled onto the road. "I like to think we're becoming friends, so hopefully the thought of seeing me on a regular basis doesn't disgust you."

Jeremiah: Jeremiah laughed. "You're just trying to wiggle your way to level five to get to know my powers. I've unveiled your evil master plan! You can't slip anything past Doctor Jeremiah Jordan!"

Tristan: "Sure," he chuckled. "That's exactly what it is." He paused for a beat. "Seriously, though. You okay with seeing me all the time?"

Jeremiah: Why this weird tension? This weird ENERGY? Jeremiah could cut it with a knife. A huge knife! Not a butter knife - it would need to be a butcher's to get through this air.

"Why wouldn't I be? Like you said we're... friends. It's nice to be around someone familiar. You're the most familiar I've got."

Tristan: Tristan's expression softened. "I'm flattered, sunshine man," he said softly.

Jeremiah: "Whaaaaaat about you? You okay with seeing my epic face all the time?"

Tristan: "Of course. Still gotta get to level five."

Jeremiah: "You've got a lot more movie marathons to sit through before you get there!"

Tristan: "Bring it on. Next time we need popcorn and slushies."

Jeremiah: "Oooooh yaaaas. I looove the way you think!"

Tristan: “We can turn the living room into a movie theater, like my mom did for me when I was little.”

Jeremiah: "That's so cute!!! We HAVE to!! When??? Tomorrow! Your birthday!"

Tristan: "Well since I'm apparently taking the day off, my birthday seems like the perfect time. We also need pizza."

Jeremiah: "Yaaas, Tristaaaaan! You read my mind!"

Tristan: He laughed and turned onto his mother's street. "Might as well lean into my birthday festivities, right?"

Jeremiah: "Damn straight!" He wiggled in his seat. "Your car is so comfy. I could totally take a nap in here."

Tristan: "Well thank you. I've taken it camping a few times, makes a great tent."

Jeremiah: "Ohhhh I bet camping here is awesome! Like, the stars and stuff!"

Tristan: "It is, accounts for a good bit of the tourism. Used to camp out in the woods behind my mom's house all the time when I was a kid. Found a frog once."

Jeremiah: "There's a WOOD behind her house?! Can we camp there?! We SO should! Are there frogs? I feel like there would be frogs for some reason. Am I right? Do I have froggy-senses?"

Tristan: "There's a little creek that runs back behind there so yeah, there are some frogs. And we definitely should go camping."

Jeremiah: "Yay! That's awesome! When? Tomorrow? Your birthday?"

Tristan: Tristan laughed. "Why don't we leave all the fun stuff for my birthday?"

Jeremiah: "But then it will all be over in one day!"

Tristan: "There's no limit on camping trips and movie nights, sunshine man."

He pulled up in front of his mother's eclectic, colorful house.

Jeremiah: "Ooooooh. You're saying you wanna spend muuuuuultiple days with me, I s- is this it???? I'M GONNA BE LIVING IN, LIKE, A DREAM HOUSE!"

Tristan: That got another laugh. Jeremiah would consider this a dream house, with its myriad plants and garden gnomes and sun catchers and windchimes. It was distinctly bohemian, a reflection of the woman herself.

"Wait until you see the inside. No two rooms are the same color."

Jeremiah: "WELL THEN!" he opened the door and eagerly went to jump out, but his seatbelt caught him flung him back. "Argh! I'm trapped!"

Tristan: "Jesus, come here." He fought a laughing fit as he freed Jeremiah from his seatbelt. Never in his life did he'd encounter this situation in real life. "There you go. And there's mama," he added, nodding over to her approaching car.

Jeremiah: "Yay, my hero!" He hopped out of the car and shut the door behind him. "This place is awesome!"

Tristan: "Thank you, sweetie!" Meg called. "I agree. It's a mess of styles but it's my mess of styles. Come on, I'll give you the grand tour."

As stated, the house was much of a cheerful mess on the inside as it was on the outside. Books dominated rooms painted in soft earth tones and all sorts of knick-knacks and photos sat on nearly every surface. It was utter chaos, yet somehow neat. The house was pristine and the various mess carefully and deliberately organized.

"Tristan says he thinks this is what the inside of my head looks like," Meg was saying as she showed Jeremiah around. "I'm inclined to agree."

Jeremiah: Jeremiah would be amazed and captivated by every single detail in every single room. It was the type of utter chaos he could get on board with. It was new, different, exciting! He felt right at home already. It was incredible. He was... so... lucky. He couldn't remember any other home, not really. He remembered bits and pieces, he remembered rooms, but couldn't put them together.

This house... it would be his first house. This would be the first of many, perhaps... but this is where it would begin. This is where he would start to create memories. Hopefully these memories would last.

"That's so cool! Can I make my room look like the inside of my head? What would that even look like? Really dark and probably kinda gooey?"

Tristan: "Absolutely, go crazy! Hang up posters, get plants, make a fort, whatever you want. Make yourself at home."

Jeremiah: "A FORT!" he grinned at Tristan and tugged his sleeve, "Tristan, a FORT!"

Tristan: Tristan ginned. "Do it, sunshine man. Make a fort around your bed."

Jeremiah: "I WILL! CHALLENGE ACCEPTED - it will be the mightiest fort of all time!"

Tristan: "In that case you should see what you're working with," said Meg, opening the door to a bedroom at the end of the hall on the second floor.

It boasted a big bay window, soft teal walls, and a queen-sized bed.

"This is it."

Jeremiah: "Oooooooooooooooooh! This is way too nice for me. We'll need to tone down the niceness by at least 40%."

Tristan: Meg laughed. "You kidding? This is the bare minimum. I've got some end tables in the attic that'll make great bedside tables. They don't match, but barely anything in this place does. One of them has a stained-glass top."

Jeremiah: "So fancy! I'll be sure to get a top hat so I can fit in."

Tristan: "Get outta here with your fancy, I got it at the flea market."

Jeremiah: Gasp! "You can afford FLEA MARKETS?!"

Tristan: "Oh yeah, we're living in the lap of luxury over here. More than half the furniture in this house came from flea markets."

Jeremiah: "Woooow. You never told me you were so fancy, Sailor Moon!"

Tristan: "Eh, I try to be modest. And get this, the furniture that isn't from the flea market is from garage sales."

Jeremiah: "Woahhh. I don't think I can stay here, sorry. Thanks for the offer but I'm just not comfortable living above my means."

Tristan: Meg laughed in utter delight. "Oh yeah, we're gonna get along just fine. You keep exploring. Tristan, come help me get the end tables."

Jeremiah: "Cool! Thanks!" Jeremiah would begin by sitting on his new bed.

Tristan: While they retrieved the furniture, Meg wasted no time in gushing to Tristan, utterly delighted with her decision.

"He's so sweet. He's gonna be a great roommate."

"Yes, he is."

"I'm glad you met him, you need more friends."

"Hey, I have friends."

"You need more friends who aren't Oliver and the cook at the Inn."

Jeremiah: If Ronan could hear the conversation he'd be offended. His name should definitely come before the Goddamn cook at the Inn! RUDE!

Jeremiah bounced a little on the bed before standing. He inspected the curtains with his fingers, felt the walls and drawers.

He was filled with sorrow that he couldn't share this with his fathers. He swallowed at the thought of moving forward with his life, this unfamiliar life.

Tristan: Tristan was also offended by this. "I have Ronan!"

"Ronan is married. You need single friends to do single man things with you."

He squinted at his mother. "You mean boyfriend."

"You said it, not me."

Tristan didn't get a chance to say anything else before Meg entered the room.

"We've got end tables!"

Jeremiah: At the sound of someone approaching Jeremiah quickly wiped his face. A smile followed a little sniffle.

"Cool! By the way, where should I leave my shoes? I still have them on but I know some people don't like other people wearing shoes in their house. Is it like a Leave-Them-By-The-Door kinda situation or a Take-Them-Off-Wherever, or?"

Tristan: "I don't mind either way. The floors are all hardwood so there's no worry about anything getting ruined."

Jeremiah: "Okay!" he stepped out of them and used his foot to push them aside neatly.

Tristan: Meg and Tristan each took an end table and arranged them beside the bed.

Meg looked at them thoughtfully. "You need lamps.  I might have some of those up there, too. Be right back."

"And a mirror," Tristan called after her.

"Oh, I'll grab the one you made!"

Jeremiah: "Thank you!" he grinned, bouncing a little, "You MADE a mirror?"

Tristan: "Not the actual mirror, just the frame. Used driftwood and sea glass."

Jeremiah: "That's so cool! Are you SURE you want me to have it in my room?! I'm suuuuper clumsy!"

Tristan: "It'll be on the wall," he chuckled. "It'll be fine."

Jeremiah: "That's a lot of responsibility!"

Tristan: "I'll still read it to you. I've actually never read it so we'll both get to enjoy it."

Jeremiah: "Awww CUTE! Okay! You've got yourself a deal, Mr. Sailor-Moon. I'll buy the books... I've never read them either, I just know they're long."

Tristan: “That means we’ll have plenty of reading material. I recommend getting them from my friend’s store. Gotta support local businesses.”

Jeremiah: "Mmm tooooooottally. Plus... friend discount, right?!"

Tristan: "Yep.  He calls it the childhood friend discount."

Jeremiah: "Sounds like we'll be spending a helllllllll of a lot of time together, huh?!"

Tristan: Tristan laughed. "Looks like. Gonna be able to handle seeing me that much?"

Jeremiah: "I could ask you the same thing, old man." he put his hand in a fist as if holding a microphone and moved it closer to Tristan, "Tell the audience, Mr. Sailor-Moon. How does it feel?!"

Tristan: "To be called Mr. Sailor Moon? Interesting to say the least. To be here with you? Great. To be helping you move? Also great."

Jeremiah: "Awww SO ROMANTIC!"

Tristan: He chuckled. "Yep, helping someone move is the absolute height of romance."

Jeremiah: "Daaaaaaaaaamn Tristan. ESPECIALLY moving in with his mom! You're just too good for me, I can't handle it!"

Tristan: Oh look, his face was starting to hurt from smiling again. “I’m a regular Mr. Darcy. I don’t know how I walk down the street with all the floating hearts and chirping birds I leave in my wake.”

Jeremiah: Jeremiah laughed but stopped just so he could jokingly gag.

"I'm more of a... Dorian Gray guy myself. Gotta have that bit of danger y'know? Corruption makes romance!"

Tristan: Danger was the last word on earth he would associate with Jeremiah, but he still smiled.

“Hopefully without the creepy secret painting.”

Jeremiah: "ESPECIALLY with the creepy painting. How dare you?!" Of course, he was being sarcastic.

Tristan: Tristan just grinned and shook his head. “We have interesting conversations, don’t we?”

Jeremiah: "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm nah. Ya basic."

Tristan: “I’m wounded to my very core.”

Jeremiah: "To YA BASIC core?!"

Tristan: “To the very core of my core.”

Jeremiah: "That one-" he went to poke Tristan's core only to- "woahhhh, dude!" Poke, poke, poke! "You're, like, Iron-Man! What the hell?!"

Tristan: Tristan had to laugh. “It’s all the manual labor.”

Jeremiah: "Sharing is caring you know! Spread some muscle around!"

Tristan: “You want my to share my manual labor?”

Jeremiah: "Uhhh I really don't. Just the benefits. Thanks!"

Tristan: “Sadly it doesn’t work that way, sunshine man.”

Jeremiah: "Then be GONE from my presence. I have to jump out of your car now, your muscles offend me."

Tristan: “I’ll throw on a burlap sack when we get to my mom’s.”

Jeremiah: "That would be nice of you, thank you. Think about other people when you go around like that! UGH!"

Tristan: “You’re completely right, I should be ashamed of myself.”

Jeremiah: "Uh huh. Now eat some cake and think about what you've done."

Tristan: “I accept my punishment,” he said with a sage nod.

Jeremiah: "Good 'cause I'm gonna get you SO much cake for your birthday."

Tristan: "I am but one man, there's a limit to how much cake I can eat."

Jeremiah: "Hmmmmmmmmmm OKAY! How about this: I will get... three cakes. Just three. If you eat them all - you have the whole day, so you don't have to do it in one sitting - then... uhhh... you get one wish!"

Tristan: "Three cakes? You have a very high opinion of my metabolism."

Jeremiah: "So does your big buff... booty? I COULDN'T THINK OF ANOTHER WORD BEGINNING WITH B."

Tristan: Tristan told himself not to read too much into that particular choice of words. "How about body?" he chuckled. "A bit obvious, I know."

Jeremiah: "... OH, DUH! How did I miss that?! Anyway. Deal or no deal, sir?!"

Tristan: He just smiled as he pulled and backed into his mother's driveway. "Deal."

Jeremiah: "Ssssshhhhweeeet. Imma tell your mama about it and she'll referee!"

Tristan: “She’ll referee my cake eating?”

Jeremiah: "Yeah. Who knows if you might try to cheat!"

Tristan: “I never cheat. Especially when ice cream cake is involved.”

Jeremiah: "Can I trust a man who's been hiding an eightpack this whole time?"

Tristan: “How have I been hiding it? I don’t think wearing clothes counts.”

Jeremiah: "Uhhhhhh PRETTY SURE IT DOES."

Tristan: "I call foul. I'm innocent on all hiding charges!"

Jeremiah: "How DARE you!!"

Tristan: "Oh, I dare. I dare so hard." He grinned as he got out of the truck.

Jeremiah: Jeremiah gasped as he followed, pointing at the other. "You ADMIT it! I'm sorry, Tristan. I'm gonna have to arrest you now."

Tristan: He laughed. "You're gonna arrest me, huh? Can't eat cake if I'm arrested."

Jeremiah: "I didn't realize every cake business in the universe would shut down if you went to prison! You must eat a LOT of cake if you're the one guy keeping them all open."

Tristan: He nodded with great emotion as he grabbed the box from the truck bed. "It's a heavy burden to carry but I do my best."

Jeremiah: "Awww." He went to do the same, taking the suitcase and what contained his laptop, "Not all heroes wear capes, some wear... uh... scuba gear? What do sailor's wear?? Those little white h- OHHH Em GEE. Do you have a little white hat?! I bet you look like a little puppy in it! PLEASE tell me that's a thing. If it isn't I know what I'm getting you for your birthday."

Tristan: Tristan laughed his head off all the way to the front door. "The only place I've seen those hats besides a box of Cracker Jacks is on Navymen. I just wear work clothes. Boots, gloves, that kinda thing. The only time I wear scuba gear is when I'm diving for fun or diving beneath the ship to clean her up."

Jeremiah: "You mean you don't have a uniform?! Boooooooor-RING."

Tristan: "It's about utility, sunshine man. You know how many pairs of pants I go through?"

Jeremiah: He laughed, "No!? How many?!"

Tristan: "Six so far this year."

Jeremiah: "... What the heCK do you do?" he knocked on the door with his elbow.

Tristan: "They get torn, they get stained, they get wet, they get mysterious marine stuff on them, so many things. I put my work clothes through the wringer. Gloves, too."

Jeremiah: "Huh. I bet you keep the uh... clothes-washing... people... in business. Y'know the ones I mean. With the machines!"

Tristan: "Why yes, I do keep myself in business. I do great work."

Jeremiah: "You wash it all yourself?"

Tristan: "Who else is gonna do it? Ma, we're back!"

"Okay!"

Jeremiah: "Woooow, impressive! You must be a pro at getting out mysterious marine stuff by now! You should start your own show. I'd totally tune in every week."

Tristan: "Oh, I definitely am. Wanna know my secret?"

Jeremiah: Gasp! He leaned in closer. "Yes."

Tristan: Tristan leaned in conspiratorially. "Irish Spring."

Jeremiah: "Eh??"

Tristan: "Irish Spring soap. That stuff can get out anything."

Jeremiah: "I've never even HEARD of it."

Tristan: "Seriously? It's all over the place. I get out the stains with that and some hot water and then toss whatever it is in the washing machine."

Jeremiah: "You'd make SUCH a good househusband."

Tristan: "Good? I'd be the BEST househusband," he declared as he started up the stairs.

Jeremiah: "Wait wait WOAH WAIT-  what are your cooking skills like?"

Tristan: "Seafood wise? Excellent."

Jeremiah: "Hmm your husband will really have to get used to the smell of fish."

Tristan: "Well that's a given."

Jeremiah: "Maybe you should marry....... a merman!"

Tristan: He chuckled. "If there were any around these parts, I would've found them ages ago."

Jeremiah: "Take ALL the magic out of life, why don't you..."

Tristan: Another chuckle. "There might be one or two that managed to evade me. Hell, there might be a whole colony of them that's managed to live their lives without me ever so much as detecting their presence."

Jeremiah: "Let's hope that's true, Tristan!"

Tristan: “Let’s hope what’s true?” came Meg’s voice.

“Jeremiah thinks there are mermaids around here and that I should marry one.”

Jeremiah: "Yeah. Duh!"

Tristan: “I feel like my mermadic son-in-law would take issue with Tristan’s chosen profession.”

Jeremiah: "......................... Uhhhh... I didn't think about that!! Okay. Maybe some kind of pelican-man. Pelicans eat fish, right? I bet he'd appreciate it!"

Tristan: Tristan paused and turned to look at Jeremiah. "A pelican?"

Jeremiah: "... They're real right? Or was that just a thing for Finding Nemo?"

Tristan: "Oh my god, Jer. Yes, they're real. And real weird first choice for marine bird for me to marry."

Jeremiah: "... Is there a LESS weird option?!"

Tristan: "Ignoring the general weirdness of this conversation, there is a very obvious first choice, yeah."

Jeremiah: "... Like what? Owls don't eat fish, Tristan." DUH.

Tristan: "........Seagulls."

Jeremiah: Lips part and his back straightens. It's as if he has a response... but... "Fine. YOU WIN THIS ROUND. SPOKEN LIKE A TRUE... FISH-MAN. FISH- fisherman."

Tristan: Tristan just laughed and shook his head, continuing on to Jeremiah's room.

Jeremiah: Once in his new room he set everything down and collapsed back on the bed with a groan. "Arrrrrghhhhhhh so comfy!"

[secret-diary-of-an-fa]

Secret-Diary’s Annual Awards Show, 2018

Here we are. Xmas is over for another year and the last dregs of 2018 are circling the plug-hole of time like inedible week-old gravy. Soon, the drain-unblocker that is New Year will be emptied on top of it, disposing of it forever… and nobody will be very sorry. It’s always possible that, in the last four days of the year, something incredible will happen. Maybe Will Self will invent time travel and go back to the early 1600s to become Shakespeare. Maybe Theresa May’s face will swing outward like a poorly-secured cupboard door and reveal an electric aquarium where a panel of Sea Monkeys control all her movements and decisions. Barring both of those two events, however, I think its safe to say that 2018 was a complete write-off.

Mainly, this year has felt like an unnecessary and unwanted continuation of 2017. 2017: Part Two, if you like. Brexit continued to drag on like a wounded moose looking for a place to die. The idiotic decision to cast Whittaker as Doctor Who, made in 2017, was enacted here in 2018, causing waves of uncontainable ennui to sweep a nation. The Space Elevator still remains resolutely unbuilt and Elon Musk (mankind’s Token Sensible Person) doesn’t seem overly inclined to do anything about that just yet. In short, we’re standing at the far edge of a year that has been, by and large, a complete and total waste of everyone’s time… especially mine. I’d normally leave my End Of Year Awards for New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day, but fuck it. Almost everything else this year has been  vaguely disappointing, so let’s stick to the theme. We’ll ejaculate these awards out early and get it over with. You all know how this works by now: I make up some tenuously-related categories and proclaim a cultural event or piece of media the winner according to the dictates of my own diseased logic and the voices in my head. Let’s just crack on.

THE AWARD FOR BEST DVD OR BLU-RAY RELEASE Normally, I try to make the category names funny, but the best DVD/Blu-Ray released in 2018 was the remastered Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Boxset. Somebody cleaned up a six-episode sci-fi show from the 1980s and stuck a bunch of special features on it and it was instantly better than anything actually produced in the present day. That’s funny enough in itself, assuming you find cultural atrophy funny.

THE INSTANTLY-REGRETTED WANK AWARD FOR BEST MOVIE STARRING A SEXY FISH MAN … Goes to The Shape of Water, which may actually have come out last year. I also really enjoyed Aquaman, too, but I can’t pretend it was a superior piece of film-making. You know what, though? The fact that there are two movies about sexy fish men having non-conformist adventures says something important. It says “OUR CG ANIMATORS HAVE FINALLY FIGURED OUT HOW TO DO WATER, SO LET THE GOOD TIMES FUCKING ROLL!”

THE BERNIE MADOFF AWARD FOR MOST SUSPICIOUS DISCREPANCY … Goes to Doctor Who’s score on Rotten Tomatoes. Yeah, you knew you weren’t getting through this drivel without having to listen to my opinions on Doctor Who again, so let’s just get it out the way early. Critics gave the most recent series of Whittaker-flavoured Who a 94% rating. Fans gave it 31%. So people who can’t risk saying something culturally unacceptable because they could be fired loved it, while people who cared enough to review it unpaid and had no consequences to fear fucking loathed it. Let’s try not to blame Whittaker, for this though. It’s actually Chibnall’s fault, with his determination to minimise the sci-fi elements in the world’s most beloved sci-fi show. And the BBC’s fault for hiring Chibnall. And all our faults for not dragging every single BBC exec into the streets and whipping them to death years ago. Jodie Whittaker casting was a point-scoring ploy on behalf of a cynical organisation desperately trying and failing to be progressive, but never forget that it’s just the tip of an iceberg made of frozen penguin shit.

THE SPECIAL AWARD FOR RUINING AN ENTIRE NATION … Goes to Donald Trump, who is a fucking arsehole of truly unprecedented proportions. At the time of writing, he’s currently throwing a massive temper tantrum and has shut down entire branches of government just because the real politicians won’t give him the money he needs to build his preposterous, unworkable and illegal border-wall. Thanks to this one pathetic tool’s incalculably large ego, America is currently in a state of abject chaos.

THE AWARD FOR MOST NEEDLESSLY HARROWING TV SHOW Did you see The Haunting of Hill House on Netflix? If not, congratulations: you might need slightly fewer anti-depressants than people who did. A spooky romp through the lives of people who used to live in a haunted house turns into an uninterrupted misery binge when it starts digging into their feelings. One of them is a drug addict, one of them is depressed in a dangerous and unstable way, one of them has issues with intimacy, one of them is a writer reliving his own miserable past for a living and one of them is a straight-up, 24 carat arsehole. Oh, and they all sort-of hate their beleaguered father for not saving their mother (who was mad as a tin of pigeons) from Death By Ghost. Thanks, Netflix. 2018 wasn’t a deep enough well of despair already.

THE AWARD FOR MOST UNDERAPPRECIATED HUMAN BEING … Goes to Jeremy Corbyn, who spent his Xmas dispensing broth and socialist good-vibes in a soup-kitchen. He’s constantly attacked and ridiculed in the media… possibly because the British media isn’t used to dealing with high-ranking politicians who aren’t psychopaths. Also, he once accidentally high-fived Dianne Abbott's tit, thereby gifting the world the most entertaining five seconds of television in history.

THE NAKED BRIAN COX AWARD FOR MOST BEAUTIFUL THING EVER … Goes to Sapphire and Steel, a TV from the 70s that I recently rediscovered. Trying to explain it in normal English will undoubtedly make me sound like a man whose brain is slowly eating itself, because it defies all ordinary conceptions. Nevertheless, I’ll try. It’s about two elements from the period table who are also people from a higher dimension who handle anomalies in space-time using methods that make perfect sense but aren’t necessarily clear to the audience. This prevents entities that often manifest as patches of light or shadow from breaking into time from outside and stealing people or feeding off the resentment of the dead. Make sense? Well, it will when you watch it, and you absolutely should watch it.

THE NAKED STEVE BUSCEMI AWARD FOR MOST EYE-GOUGINGLY HORRIBLE THING EVER This is actually a tie between that time Theresa May attempted to dance and… pretty much the entire year itself. If 2017 was like watching a man fall off a cliff, 2018 has been like watching him hit every outcropping of rock as he plunged downwards towards a merciless ocean.

THE AWARD FOR MOST SLATHERING BETRAYAL OF A FAN-BASE … Goes to Fallout 76, which, by all accounts, turned the bleak, lonely world of Fallout into a perfunctory MMO with all the beloved series’ characteristic and recognisable features sucked out or watered down. A great game series screwed over in the name of chasing casual gamers. Oh, when will the industry learn. Never. The answer is never.

THE SHATNER AWARD MOST DRAMATIC OVERREACTION TO AN UNDERWHELMING SITUATION … Goes to the UK tabloid ‘news’ papers, who went into swivel-eyed paroxysms of outrage and confusion when a handful of drones brought air traffic to a halt at Gatwick Airport almost a week before Xmas. They squealed angrily about how ‘possible terrorism’ and how Xmas had been ruined for thousands of people (despite the fact that they were perfectly entitled to just get on other flights a day or two later). It later turned out that there hadn’t necessarily been any drones, and that air traffic had been brought to a standstill because the police got confused and mistakenly thought that there were.

And that’s more or less it. Lots of other things happened in 2018, but I never made any concerted effort to remember them, beyond noting that they were all pretty bloody stupid. Roll on 2019. I have no reason to believe it will be any better than 2018, globally speaking, but maybe I’ll finally buy a copy of Red Dead Redemption 2 and stop caring.

[iwroteyoualoveletter]

Megumi Ogata Livedoor Interview (May 2018) [1/2]

I could make it this far because I overcame that adversity. Megumi Ogata on fighting to the end with Kurama during her newcomer period.

The Female Voice Actors We Fell in Love With

It’s been more than 10 years since I first heard their dreamy voices from anime men, charming my heart completely. In the blink of an eye I was dazed, to find out the possessors of those voices were female, so astonishing it was not to be forgotten. Completely different from the “sweet girl” voice actresses, it became natural to chase after them. Despite their dignified femininity, they could still voice powerful men, sway my heart with mysterious sex appeal, and manage to sound more boyish than a real boy in vocal purity and forwardness… at that time, I fell in love with their colorful voices, the same ones that color the anime world today.

Here at Livedoors, we’re featuring the women behind those cool and charming voices who are continuing their fight on the frontline. There are 3 interviews in total. In this second feature, I listened to the story behind Megumi Ogata’s acting of the ever calm and composed Kurama from Yu Yu Hakusho.

Photography: Tetsuya Arai

Reporter: Kaori Aoyama

Hair & Make-up: Naoko Sugiura

Pushing my senior voice actors out of the way and getting to the mic, that’s how the recording began.

In 1992, Yoshihiro Togashi’s popular boy’s comic Yu Yu Hakusho (Shuueisha) became a TV animation. Killed in a traffic accident, juvenile delinquent Yusuke Urameshi goes through a series of events that allow him to return to life, and the story follows his activities as a spirit detective. Ogata played the role of a former demon thief.  Appearing first as an enemy, he later becomes an ally to Yusuke in protecting the human world.

-- In December 2017 it was announced there would be brand new animation for Yu Yu Hakusho’s 25th anniversary Blu-Ray boxset. Please say how you felt when you heard the news.

First, “Will the cast be the same?” was something I wanted to know. I didn’t want to celebrate prematurely in case they changed the casting, so until I knew I kept a careful watch. (laughs)

-- When they pitched it to you, how did you feel?

I was happy. “I can act him again.” Now that the staff are earnestly working on production, I can’t wait to see how it turns out.

-- I believe the fans are waiting with heartfelt anticipation too! Next, I’d like to hear about the period of time around the anime’s original airing. Yu Yu Hakusho was your debut work, wasn’t it?

It was my first work, so it was a lot to absorb. Even the terminology in the script, things like, “OL(※1)” and “PUN UP(※2),”  were words I didn’t understand…

-- That terminology isn’t something a newcomer can go somewhere to learn, right?

That’s right. There were so many things I didn’t understand, and it was a really big role, so I felt like there was pressure building up on all sides. (laughs) At the same time, it was decided I would be in “Tsuyoshi Shikkari Shinaisai” (in the role of Yamaguchi Shizuo). Both required all my strength, and I knew I’d have to give them my all or die trying.  

-- Did you receive advice from any of your seniors at the studio?

Yes. For example, in the beginning I couldn’t use the mic well, and I was told, “You don’t need to try so hard. It’s going to pick up your voice anyway.” (laughs) For Yu Yu Hakusho, we had 3 mics, and since the lead(s) spoke often, there was a dedicated “leading role mic.” The other 2 mics were used by supporting cast.

When Kurama first appeared in the “Three Bandits” scene, there were two others with me. Because we had to record the protagonist Yusuke’s voice too (voiced by Sasaki Nozomu), the 3 of us had to use the 2 remaining mics. I was new so I worried over, “Which mic should I be using…” until the scene finished.

-- You must have been nervous about the timing of when to start speaking alongside your seniors.

(In the role of Gouki) Norio Wakamoto was an actor who used to be part of the police riot squad. His way of speaking and moving was loud, because of the training he’d received as an officer, and he approach the mic with his whole body saying, “Uwooo! Haaaa!” while waving his arms about. Then, alongside him was Hiei’s voice actor Hiyama (Nobuyuki). At first, Hiei also required quite a bit of energy so he was shouting, “Haaaa!” waving his arms around too. I thought someone was going to get hit. (laughs)  

While I was debating where I should go, their scene finished. The voice actress for Kurama’s mother, Kumiko Takizawa, guided me by saying, “You can just push them out of way and take your place,” and Wakamoto also said, “Come over here.” I gave a timid, “O-okay then” and made my way over. (laughs) That was my first appearance, my first recording.

Editorial Annotation:

OL(※1)  - Overlap - While the first video is running, the scene gradually becomes the next scene’s video.

PUN UP(※2) - The camera angle pans from down to up.

“Don’t lie to the heart” The teachings of the audio director live on even now.

-- What was the atmosphere like at the studio?

In the animation business now, people tend to gather with others from the same generation, but back then everyone was on their own. I was the only real new one. Though Hiyama was also relatively new, he’d still started before me, and above me were other young people who’d already made a name for themselves like Nozomu and Megumi Hayashibara.

Above them were the backbone actors, like Mayumi Tanaka (Koenma) and Shigeru Chiba (Kazuma Kuwabara), and then above them even we had people like Tesshou Genda (Younger Toguro) and Hisako Kyouda (Genkai). Because there were so many people of that generation, it really encouraged me to learn a lot.

-- So many prominent people!

Among my superiors was the audio director Kan Mizumoto, who had a large presence. When overlaying the audio, he’d say things like,”It’s ok if it doesn’t match to the second (while pointing at his chest) as long as it doesn’t lie here.” Cute or cool voices aside, more than clearly pronouncing the sounds like “ga” or “wa,” he said it was important to be honest, because real stories came from the heart. Keeping the meaning of those words in mind, I continued on with the story more at ease with my acting.

-- What a lovely piece of advice!

Isn’t it? But there were times my superiors were against me too. Scolding me like, “Just now, you sounded too much like you’re acting in a romance and it wasn’t good. Can you stop that?” I’d listen to them shaking but only be thinking, “In any case, I didn’t lie” or “My heart is one with the role.”

-- Those words have stayed with you even now, haven’t they?

Yes. Because of that, if I thought I’d done a really good take, even if it was slightly off I’d negotiate with the director about altering the art to match. It wasn’t digital like now, it was film and not an easy thing to fix, but the director (Noriyuki) Abe really did his best to accommodate me. I felt nothing but gratitude towards him.

Masafumi Mima, the audio director in my other debut work “Tsuyoshi Shikkari Shinaisai,” was of a similar mindset, insisting it was critical for one to be “born into the work.” Those two had a huge influence on me in my first 2 years. Really, I owe a lot to them, that I came to embody those words in my heart and turn them into habit. The director of “Haameru no Biolin Biki” Junji Nishimura who I’ve worked with once told me, “You’re the least suited voice actress in Japan for lip syncing.” [T/N: Lip syncing as in pacing her words to the already animated mouth.]

-- What!

While laughing the director continued, “But, when I’m listening to your acting, I want to change the work to match you, so it’s fine.” I believe that having those supportive directors and audio directors allowed an unskilled actor like myself to get by. Of course, it wasn’t that I didn’t see the arrogance in asking them to change the animation to suit me, but in my heart I always felt that I wanted the work a certain way, for the work to resonate with people. Of course, the effort it takes to be in sync [with the animation] is a major premise too! (laughs)

Pressure from all sides! … Troubles with no one to listen.

-- When we interviewed Hongo Kanata, who you worked with on “Danganronpa 3: The End of Hope's Peak High School,” he said, “When I nervously entered my first recording session, I was really happy when Ogata took the time to introduce herself to all of the cast.” Would you say you’ve always been that mindful of and considerate towards others [when working]?

During my newcomer days I didn’t have that kind of time at all! I didn’t know anything about the business, and suddenly I was a regular on a major production. There was so, so much going on. Like I said earlier, “there was pressure from all sides.” At that time, the production company president said to me, “If you keep putting in your best effort, your relationship with this company might improve,” and I was shaking like, “But it’s only my first time doing this…!” (laughs) There was a lot other than that, but it felt like fighting for my life every day, thinking, “If I mess up this role, there’s nothing after!”

-- By “all sides,” do you mean there was pressure other than that from the production company?

Yes. One was, not counting child roles, but roles from high school and older, I was the first voice actress to attempt voicing a young man.

--  You have an amazing story for how you were chosen at the audition. The first thing you did was give your name, “Megumi Ogata” and they immediately reacted, “This is the exact Kurama voice we’ve been searching for!”

(Link to Tweet story.)

Yes. When I went to the recording studio, the staff said things like, “If we compare you to [someone else] your balance is a little… well, we picked you, your voice suits the role. But, it needs a bit more something?” I worried, “A bit more ‘something’? What should I do?”

-- That’s when you received those words about “a story that doesn’t lie” from the voice director Mizumoto…

He was the person to say, “You’re forcing your voice lower, but you don’t need to.”

-- How were you able to overcome that obstacle?

I’ve casually spoken about it before, but I was aware my vocal cords were on the rare side and long for a female. Japanese people often have short vocal cords, but mine are more like a black person’s… That’s to say, they’re vocal cords with the possibility to expand. You can think of vocal cords the same way you think of a violin or double bass. The violin’s strings are short and produce a high sound, the double bass has long strings that produce a low sound.

You can train to a high pitch (singing range) and extend [your ability], but the length of your vocal cords is something you are born with, so people with short vocal cords cannot produce a low sound. But, for me to deliver my voice, teachers in my major said if I trained the muscles throughout my body that I needed like any average man, it seemed possible my singing range would naturally expand. I believed their words and started frantically working out at the gym.

-- You had multiple things within the company coming at you, pressure from the production management, pressure performing as a young male character, in addition to all the pressure you were feeling during actual recordings. Even though it was your first work, it was a difficult situation to be in. Did you have anyone you could talk to?

No, there was a lot more official stuff going on too, so there was little time for personal matters. I got the job and many other problems popped up around the same time… My family and friends were worried for me, as well as the classmates I’d had with me up till then, who as you’d expect talked with me.

I didn’t have any accomplishments to speak of, and there was a period I was regarded as the lucky newcomer. Outside the top tier, many staff and senior actors would say things like, “Your role should’ve been my role.” One senior actor actually said that to my face. Of course, not all the senior actors were like that! In any case, there wasn’t someone to talk to [about my troubles]. I had no choice but to make my own resolutions and overcome.

-- It was the first case of a woman acting a young male’s role, so I imagine not all fan reactions were genial.

In truth, though people said things, I did not get any complaint letters (about how I acted Kurama). At the beginning it was more that people thought things like, this popular character should be played by a normal male voice actor, or where did they get this nobody from to play this role.  But, in playing the role, it’s true I didn’t feel I had [the fans’] consent. Putting that thought out of mind also took personal effort.

-- While you were fighting with yourself you were still able to overcome so many challenges. I think that’s really incredible.

It’s only that I had to! (laughs) Conversely, you could say my first year and how I spent its beginnings sticking out Kurama’s role might be how I was able to do everything that followed to now.

-- Didn’t you ever think, “I don’t want to go to work anymore!”

At that time I never thought, “I don’t want to go.” Just, after the show had been airing for about half a year, suddenly my voice refused to come out. The doctor said to me, “It’s due to stress so if you rest about 2 weeks it’ll be fine.” That’s when a lot of stuff happened that I can’t say in interviews.

-- I see… well, how about when you heard people’s opinions that “Kurama’s voice is really lovely!” Did you feel something like relief?

Before the first event, one of my seniors who’d been a big anime’s lead teased me by saying, “I got hit with an egg.” (laughs) Other levels included things like, there might be razors in fan letters so be careful, and “what would you do if someone threw something,” all of which had me nervous.

The event began with the anime opening playing, with me on stage in the wings (where I couldn’t be seen from the audience). At the lyric Kurama is shown, I heard loud cheering. “Huh, maybe it’ll be ok…” I thought with surprise, and made my way on stage to meet the loud cheering. I was so relieved! For the record, I don’t think I ever received razors in a letter.

→ Part 2

Translator’s Note: Do not take everything written in this interview word-for-word. There were many places I struggled to find the appropriate English for and I might have misunderstood the original Japanese. If you noticed mistakes, please tell me so I can fix them and learn.

Part Two of this interview strays away from YYH and Kurama into what happened next in Ogata-san’s career as a voice actress and musician. As a huge Ogata fan, I’ll keep on plodding through for myself, but give a comment if you’d like me to post that too when finished.  

[doctorwhonews]

The Eighth Doctor - Ravenous 2 (Big Finish)

Latest Review: Writer: Guy Adams, John Dorney, Matt Fitton Director: Ken Bentley   Featuring: Paul McGann Nicola Walker, Hattie Morahan, Mark Bonnar Big Finish Release (United Kingdom) Released October 2018   Running Time: 5 hours The Eighth Doctor is a box set machine these days.  Pretty much has been since his Fourth Series of "Eighth Doctor Adventures" ended it's run in 2011. Since then he has had four box sets under the Dark Eyes moniker, another four titled Doom Coalition, and more recently began a new line taking place nearer the end of his lifetime simply titled The Time War.  While Big Finish is producing The Time War, They are also continuing the story of The Eighth Doctor along with his friends Liv Chenka and Helen Sinclair (his companions throughout Doom Coalition) with Ravenous.  This is the second box of that series, so unlike The Time War which is jumping closer to the time of the Eighth Doctor's regeneration as seen in Night of the Doctor, this one essentially carries on his adventures that really began back in 2007. Ravenous 2 begins with Escape from Kaldor which has the Doctor return to Liv's homeworld, where they end up again battling killer robots and reunite Liv with her estranged sister.  It's a decent enough episode, plants some seeds of things to come, but I won't claim it was the best opener to a set. It felt like the family ties to Liv weren't perfectly conceived.  The episode also lacked a certain energy it needed to kick this new set off. Luckily, things kick into a more interesting gear with the second story, Better Watch Out.  This story is more Christmas themed, and since the episode that follows continues that storyline...it made me wonder why they released Ravenous 2 in October, instead of waiting until December. At any rate, the story involves the Central European Christmas monster, the Krampus, who is essentially the anti-Santa Claus who steals the bad children away.  Krampus has had a bit of a pop culture jolt in recent years, with a pretty entertaining Christmas themed horror movie in 2015 (simply titled Krampus) as well as a slew of direct-to-video schlock in the last 5 or so years.  So Big Finish feels, in some ways, a bit late to the party.  Though their entry into the party is actually pretty darn good. The Doctor takes Liv and Helen to Salzburg for their annual Krampusnacht event, but unfortunately, the bit of holiday fun falls apart when Krampus becomes real and begins to take all of the bad people in town.  This particular adventure spreads across two episodes in the set, concluding in Fairytale of Salzburg. That episode sees Krampus fought off by the ingenuity of the Doctor's companions and his historical opposite.  It's a good epic tale, and in some ways, I wish the entire set had been based around this one story.  Expand it in some places, end in Salzburg, then set up for the next boxset.  Then you'd have a pretty fun four hour Christmas adventure.  Instead, the set comes to it's conclusion with Seizure, which brings the Eleven back into the fold.  The Eleven sends the Doctor a distress call, and the Doctor decides to answer the call, knowing that with the Eleven it could very well be a trap.  The Doctor lands inside the Eleven's TARDIS, but it is a labyrinth that begins to separate the Doctor and his friends...and a frightening beast is aboard.  The beast is the titular Ravenous, first mentioned in the first box set, and making it's first actual appearance here. It's a monster that feeds on life energy, constantly hungry for more...with it's favorite meal being Time Lords.  I think it is a cool monster, and this first glimpse is promising...though part of me wonders how much depth a monster like this can have, especially if it is to be the main antagonist of this particular series of boxsets going forward.   All in all, this is a pretty good boxset.  While the first story didn't really grab me, the rest of the set is a lot of fun. While I enjoyed the eerie closing episode that marked the first appearance of the Ravenous, I still kind of think the whole set would've worked better if it had focused more on the whole Krampus story.  I think there was more to explore in those episodes, they had a lot packed into them, and the opening episode being dull, and the final episode felt like it belongs to a bigger story yet to come...I might've just enjoyed a Krampus set.  Still...McGann always delivers as the Doctor, and any set starring him is worth a listen.         http://reviews.doctorwhonews.net/2018/10/the_eighth_doctor_ravenous_2_big_finish.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

[higginbothampublications]

Book Bits: “A Bit of a Pickle” Chapter Five

Book Bits: "A Bit of a Pickle" Chapter Five

Thank you for joining me for Book Bits. In this episode, we will begin to read the book "A Bit of a Pickle" by Nicole Higginbotham-Hogue. This is the second book in the Simmons Series.

Enjoy!

A BIT OF A PICKLE

WRITTEN BY NICOLE HIGGINBOTHAM-HOGUE

COPYRIGHTED BY NICOLE HIGGINBOTHAM-HOGUE

This is a work of fiction. Similarities to real people, places, or events are entirely coincidental.

CHAPTER FIVE Gertie sat at the restaurant, chewing on her steak and moving her potatoes back and forth with her spoon. Edna had tried to get her to order something a bit healthier, but when Gertie refused, Edna gave in right away. Gertie was sure that her wife's lack of determination had something to do with the fact that she wanted her to meet Fredrick, and despite Gertie's thoughts on the situation, she decided to give the man a chance. Gertie listened as Edna and Fredrick conversed about their childhoods and various aspects of their lives. She still didn't trust the other man, and she wanted to make sure that if he lied to her wife, she would be able to catch it.

"So, you grew up in Missouri?" Edna asked, a light in her eyes as she looked at Fredrick.

"I did," Fredrick replied. "We didn't have much money, so when I got a bit older, I decided that I was going to get a job so that I could help my mother out with the expenses."

"Wow, how old were you?" Edna inquired, clearly impressed.

"I was sixteen when I began to work, and I was eighteen when I got the job here," Fredrick told her. "It took years for me to get into the position that I am currently in, but I was able to use my income to take care of both me and my mother until she passed."

"That's very admirable of you," Gertie commented, looking the man over closely as he spoke.

"Well, thank you, Gertie," Fredrick replied. "I try to do right now and again."

"It shows," Edna said, gesturing around her. "I mean, look at this place. The hotel is beautiful, and I'm sure that it takes quite a bit of work to keep up with it. And on top of that, you are such a gentleman. I mean, the first thing that you did when we met was to get my bag for me, and now, you're taking my wife and I out to dinner. You just have a great amount of respect for your job and the people around you, and it makes me happy to call you my brother."

"Well, I do appreciate that," Fredrick smiled. "And there was no way that I was going to let you carry your own bag. I am a gentleman after all, and now that I know that you are family, I'm inclined to do more."

"What do you mean?" Gertie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I mean that I would like to do something for you two," Fredrick said, stroking his chin. "I just found out that we were related, and I have gone so many years without a family. I don't have any kids, and my mother is gone, so I thought that I might discuss something with you two."

"Like what?" Gertie inquired.

"Like maybe buying you a timeshare up in these parts," Fredrick replied. "I would like to see you gals again if I could, and I feel like owning a timeshare would give you two the flexibility to travel up here whenever you wanted."

"That would be wonderful," Edna smiled. "I've always wanted one of those. It's almost like having your own vacation home."

"It pretty much is like that," Fredrick replied. "And having a timeshare would save more money in the long run. You wouldn't have to pay for hotel rooms, and you would be able to cook so that you didn't have to waste money on take-out. Also, you would be able to use it more than once a year, so we would be able to see each other more."

"You know," Gertie said, eyeing the man closely. "This all sounds good, but what's the catch? You don't usually just meet a person that is willing to buy you a timeshare. I know that you haven't had much time in your life to get to know Edna, but it's a little extreme, and what kind of information would you need from us to do this?"

"I wouldn't need much information," Fredrick replied. "I'd probably need the basics like a copy of both of your licenses, and I would need your social security numbers, but that is all quite routine. Besides that, I might need your address and phone number, and I should be able to file the paperwork right away."

"I don't even know you," Gertie laughed. "And now you think that I'm just going to hand over my license and give you my social security number?"

"Well, you could come with me," Fredrick stated. "The application process only takes a couple of hours."

"A couple of hours!" Gertie exclaimed. "I don't think so. I think that I will just do everything the old-fashioned way, and if Edna wants to come up here to visit you, then we can get a hotel room. Besides, I don't really feel comfortable having a stranger buy me a timeshare. It all just seems a little odd to me."

"I'm sorry if I offended you," Fredrick replied, disappointed. "I really was just trying to do something nice. I don't have any other family members that I know of, and I don't see the reason in sitting on the money I have if I can make my sister's life a little better."

"You're so sweet," Edna smiled, looking at Fredrick. "Gertie, can't we just let him do this? It seems like it means a lot to him?"

"No," Gertie said, standing her ground. Fredrick might have her wife wrapped around his finger, but he certainly didn't have her convinced.

"Well, then when will we see him next?" Edna inquired. "We are only here for a few days, and I would really like to spend more time with him. There are so many things that we don't know about each other. We have years of catching up to do."

Gertie grumbled. She didn't want to take the wind out of her wife's sails, but she wasn't comfortable with the timeshare idea, and she certainly didn't want to spend a large amount of money on hotel fees visiting Missouri on a consistent basis. "How about we invite Fredrick to stay with us the next time that he is in town?" Gertie suggested. "I'm sure that he has vacation time, and that would give you a chance to spend more time with him without costing either party an extensive amount of money."

"That would be so nice," Edna said, clapping her hands together. "Fredrick, what do you think?”

"Well, I would hate to be an imposition," Fredrick stated. "But I do have some vacation time, and I could probably afford to use it."

"You wouldn't be an imposition at all," Edna replied. "I would love to show you our town. Sanders is rather beautiful this time of year, and I'm sure that my friends would love to meet you. Will you at least think about it?"

Fredrick looked at Edna and finally nodded. "I will," he said. "But in return, will you gals please consider my offer? It would be nice to know that I could see you even during the time that I can't get off work, and since you are retired, I know that you have more flexibility in traveling."

"I don't..." Gertie began to say, but Edna kicked her in the shin.

"Yes, we will consider your offer, Fredrick," Edna replied.

"Thank you," Fredrick smiled.

Gertie held her tongue for the remainder of the dinner. Edna and Fredrick talked for an hour more, eventually ending their visit and parting ways. As they got into the elevator that led to their room, Gertie looked over at Edna, noticing how happy her wife looked. She could feel a sense of peace coming from the other woman, and though there were still questions about the man that she had just met, she kept them to herself. She knew that she didn't have to agree to the timeshare at this point, and she was sure that Edna was satisfied with her offer to let Fredrick stay with them on his vacation. But the one thing that kept Gertie at ease was that she was sure that the whole thing was a sham, and she was also confident in the fact that she wouldn't ever see Fredrick again as soon as they left Missouri.

About the Author

Growing up in a small town, Nicole Higginbotham-Hogue spent a majority of her time reading and writing, so when she was granted the opportunity to write full-time, she didn't have to think twice.  Since beginning her writing career, she has managed to pen several lesbian romances, while adding a little action and adventure to spice things up. As a newly graduated MBA student, she plans to use her recently discovered free time to craft the art that she loves. For more information on Nicole's new releases or to find out what she has been working on, sign-up for her newsletter at higginbothampublications.com.

Also by Nicole Higginbotham-Hogue

Jems and Jamz

Don't Tell Me Twice

A Second Chance

To the Beat of Their Own Drum

Finding a Voice

A Fan to Remember

Aspiring Affection

A Stepping Stone

The Jems and Jamz Series: Books 1-2

The Jems and Jamz Series: Books 3-4

The Jems and Jamz Series: Books 5-7

The Jems and Jamz Series Boxset

Simmons Series

A Brief Debacle

A Bit of a Pickle

The Catnip Conundrum

The Simmons Series: Books 1-2

The Avery Detective Series

Sentiment to the Heart

Heart's Content

Complicated Heart

Thank you for joining me for this episode of Book Bits. Stay tuned for the next installment, and until then, be safe and well.