#still lowkey shaking from the panic of catching the damn thing

[tpwk-formula1]

It Was Obvious - LN4

Lando Norris x Fewtrell Twin reader

Summary: Lando and Y/N Fewtrell have been seeing each other since just before the season started, what happens when they all go on vacation for summer break and are forced to continue and try to hide their relationship.

TW - NOT EDITED, lowkey mad cheesy, some fluff, talks of slight anxiety, secret relationship

WC 1200+

Y/N POV

"Lando, he's going to kill us if he catches you in here," I whisper to my boyfriend of 6 months, who is currently in my room pulling me in for another kiss.

"I'm willing to fight," Lando whispers again before kissing me again. It was a rushed make out session knowing we didn't have much time making me feel like I was back in year 10 hiding my boyfriend from my parents. But instead of my parents not knowing it's my twin brother who just so happens to be Lando's best friend.

"I love you," I whisper when he pulls away. I see the light blush crawl up his neck before settling on his cheek showing that regardless of how long we have been together we still get the giddy feelings.

"I love you too," he whispers back before slipping out of my room presumably going to his or Max's.

It's not even ten minutes later before another knock rings out through my room making me think Lando is coming back in already..

"Come in," I call out not moving from my bad. When the door opens to reveal Pietra I relax slightly knowing I don't have to worry about my twin coming in and finding out the truth had it been Lando.

"I wanna talk to you," P tells me softly making me sit up and start to feel some anxiety sink in, not knowing what she wants to talk about.

"Im not picking sides in the divorce," I joke softly making her laugh and shake her head.

"I'm not breaking up with your brother," P tells me softly making me laugh cause I knew damn well she wasn't trying to talk to me about that.

"So you and Lando?" She asks with a smirk on her face. I instantly feel all the air in the room leave making it increasingly more difficult to breathe.

"Hey, hey, hey, calm down! I'm not here to get anyone in trouble. I just wanna know more information," P tells me softly when she notices the panic starting to take over my body.

"Please don't tell anyone," I whisper out not knowing how to to trust anyone right now.

"I won't tell anyone. I think it's something you and Lando will need to do on your own time," she tells me with a smile making me relax a little bit more.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asks me with a smile. I nod my head with a smile knowing I haven't been able to talk about my relationship with anyone but my mom.

"We started dating in February shortly after Max dragged you and I to that stupid golf thing. We had been talking before that but after Lando got wasted and couldn't take care of himself I went back home with him and pretty much babysat him until he went to sleep. The next morning he woke up and he set up a really cute brunch where he asked me out," I tell her with a smile making her smile with me.

"How did you figure it out?" I ask making her laugh out loud.

"Girl I love you to death but you guys are terrible at sneaking around. We've been here for for two days and everytime I can't find you, Lando just so happens to be missing as well, so I decided to spy on yall. Well kind of, I just so happened to be coming out of the bathroom when he was leaving your room and I truly wouldn't have thought anything of it but I was already suspecting you guys," she tells me making me nod.

"I think Lando and I are gonna make Max to lunch and tell him. I'm tired of lying to him and hiding my relationship," I tell her making her nod and smile.

"I think it's about time 'cause that was almost 7 months ago," she laughs out. I laughed with her happy to know she was happy for me and supported my relationship.

We're nearing the end of our trip and I have decided it was time. Keegan was already making jokes about us being together and thankfully Max was brushing them off as a joke but I'm sure he's going to start realizing the truth.

"Hey Max, I was wondering if you wanted to go to lunch later?" I ask softly not wanting to give too much information and try to pass it off as twin bonding.

"Ya, we could go to that one restaurant you've been begging to since we arrived," Max says with a laugh.

"I saw it on TikTok and it looked amazing," I reply back showing my excitement.

I make sure to text Lando the plan and while I plan to tell Max just us I want Lando nearby incase he wants to talk to both of us.

We're halfway through our meal when I finally drop my fork and clear my throat.

"I have to tell you something," I tell him making him drop his fork and roll his eyes jokingly.

"I knew you didn't just want to hang out with me," he jokes making both of us laugh.

"Ya, um but you have to promise to hear me out before getting upset," I tell him suttering in stress a little making him focus on me completely.

"So, please don't be upset but, landoandiareseeingeachother," I breath out in one breath talking too fast for anyone to understand.

"Try again and breathe this time," Max says trying to stay calm at the situation.

"Lando and I are dating," I tell him refusing to look at him. When I meet his eyes I he is giving me the most disbelief look possible.

"Are you kidding me?" Max asks in pure disbelief making me grow increasingly more nervous.

"I promise he's a good one," I quickly come to defend my partner.

"You thought I didn't know?" Max rephrases his statement making it clear he already knows.

"You knew!" I announce being quite a bit louder than I had hoped.

"I've known since Miami. I mean that confirmed it but I definitely caught on before that," Max tells me slightly stunned that I didn't realize.

"I wanted you to tell me when you were ready. Besides its been funny watching you and Lando try to sneak around all this time," Max tells me laughing slightly.

"So you don't care?" I ask him trying to get clarification. He just shook his head no.

"What about P?" I asked just getting curious to the situation now.

"What about her?" Max asks, clearly confused now.

"She came into my room earlier in the trip and asked me about it," I tell him, giving him some more detail about the conversation.

"Oh, no I didn't tell anyone I knew. Meaning she also caught on to your guy's terrible sneaking," Max laughs before adding, "Hell, even Keegan caught on."

I just laughed at that before sending Lando a quick text to let him know he could come in if he wanted. When he met us at the table Max explained to both of us how he caught on and when he realized we both had feelings for each other, which had been long before we started talking.

"Hey but if you break her heart I will pay Verstappen to take you out," Max tells Lando as we are walking back to the beach house we rented for the week.

That just made Lando laugh before telling him he wouldn't dare hurt me.

It was nice being able to spend the last few days of break not having to hide my relationship.

[mybiasisexo]

Entangled - Part 8

Pairing: Chanyeol x f.Reader Chapter Warnings: Language   Word Count: 5k Author Notes: okay, I feel like this is lowkey a filler chapter 😭. but I like it so idk lmao. so much has happened since I last updated. I quit my old job, got a new one (that's kicking my ass. pray for me) had my bday and saw Beyonce 3 times!! but yeah as always sorry for the delay, hope you like the chapter and feel free to lmk what you thought!!! I loooove feedback and y'alls commentary!!! makes my damn day!! have fuuuuuun~!

You come to the following morning from what is possibly the best sleep you’ve gotten in years. A yawn escapes you as you stretch your tender body.

The action has you aware of something not moving around you, and you glance down to see a heavy arm thrown over your waist. As if the owner of the limb can sense your attention, it constricts, pulling you closer to a heat behind you.

Startled, you tense up, not even daring to breathe as you carefully roll onto your back and then turn your head the rest of the way until you’re knocking your nose gently against Chanyeol’s.

He’s in a deep slumber. Gentle snores leave his slightly parted lips, and his features are relaxed. He looks so peaceful, so serene, so…content. It melts your heart. You can’t help but stare at him, noticing the way his silky tawny hair falls across his pillow and the stubble poking out of his chin that grew in from the night before.

The night before….

Your eyes widen at the reminder and you’re sitting straight up, causing Chanyeol’s arm to fall limply on your lap.

Oh, you’ve really done it now.

Chanyeol stirs, and you think you’ve woken him, but he just rolls onto his other side, revealing his naked back to you.

Harsh rows of red raised skin catch your attention–the proof of how good a lover he is. Even though you know to some men, Chanyeol included, the scratches are a badge of honor, you only feel remorse from causing him pain.

His lack of clothing has you aware of your current state of undress and you quickly pull the thin sheet over your chest. It’s a silly action. Chanyeol’s sleeping, but even if he was awake, he’s seen your breasts plenty of times, had them in his goddamn mouth last night for christ’s sake.

Still, you must at least try to preserve some dignity.

You dare another glance at the man beside you, as if he’s a figment of your imagination that will vanish once you’re in your right mind. He doesn’t go away, so you must be really out of it.

Groaning, you drop your head, hitting your forehead repeatedly with the palm of your hand.

Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.

Fucking your ex fiance was the last thing you had planned to do on this trip. Getting closure? Sure. Making peace? The least you could have done. Now? Things have become even more complicated. Which is pretty impressive given everything that has transpired over the last couple days. And Yerim…. God, Yerim. She hasn’t even been gone twenty-four hours and you’ve already jumped her man’s bones. Sure, he was yours first, but it’s the principle of the thing.

Shit, maybe you are the problem.

As if you aren’t already about to dive in a pool of panic, a memory from the night before decides to reveal itself. The knowledge has you gasping, staring unseeingly ahead of you in terror.

Did you tell Chanyeol you loved him?

Oh, god. Oh, fuck.

Yeah, you gotta get out of here.

Feeling nauseous, you stumble out of the bed, crumbling to the ground the minute you put weight on your legs. Your bambi legs are a byproduct of Chanyeol’s pleasurable menstrations, having you literally weak in the knees. You shake your head and push through the slight throbbing of your core, standing carefully on shaky legs. Chanyeol chooses this moment to toss back around so that he’s facing you again. The arm that was around you earlier flops forward to reclaim its position, but lands on egyptian cotton instead. His eyebrows scrunch together as his hand idly runs over the empty space–searching for you. Feeling bad, you pull down a pillow. His fingers find it and yank it towards him, curling into it like a toddler with his favorite teddy bear. Your name leaves his mouth in a content breath, and all the turmoil in you dissipates for a moment. Maybe you’re overreacting? Yerim won’t be too mad, right? And Chanyeol still wants you, right? Last night meant something to him?

Did it mean something to you?

You can’t even think about that right now. Truth is you have no idea where you stand, and are even more confused than before the wedding. You’ve blurred the lines and anything can mean anything.

What you do know is that you need to leave, and you need to do it before Chanyeol wakes up. You can’t face him right now, not before you understand your emotions and actions.

“Focus,” you order yourself. You scan the floor that is now a mess of discarded garments, and a shimmer of gold catches your eye. You snatch it up, only to find it’s Chanyeol’s tie. You stare at it, remembering the way he demanded you to undress him, and drop it like it shocked you, shivering from the memory. That is definitely not what you’re looking for. 

There. A little further you find your dress and underwear. You slide them on quickly, not bothering to zip up your dress. You’re only going a few doors down, so you only hold it against your chest.

Despite telling yourself to focus, you can’t stop thinking about your confession. Obviously it was the lust speaking, the nostalgia. Yeah, that’s all that was.

Chanyeol never said it back.

The epiphany straightens your back, and you startle as you lock eyes with yourself in the floor length mirror directly in front of you. The woman before you is tragic, her hair poofy and stiff, eyes rimmed black, face puffy and nose still red from crying. You look like the clown you are.

You shudder, truly haunted, and head out. You pause by the door to slip into your shoes and grab your purse. Your heels have a buckle, but you can’t risk wasting any more time, so you don’t bother securing them. 

You open the door and a choir of angels begin to sing.

Their joyous voices die with a record scratch at the sight of Byun Baekhyun standing on the opposite end, fist up as though he’s about to knock.

You can’t catch a break.

He takes you in, visibly shocked. He says your name in a dramatic loaded question and you wince at his volume, bouncing off the walls. Damn, this is not good.

“What are you doing here?” He asks accusingly.

You quickly peek over your shoulder, checking to see if your new visitor is loud enough to wake Chanyeol. He doesn’t stir, and you can’t fight the pride that blooms in you. You wore that man out!

Shaking the emotion off, you turn back to Mr. Loud Mouth in front of you.

“Hush,” you hiss, shoving him back with the arm not currently holding both your dress, and what little you have left of your sanity, together. You make sure the door closes with a gentle ‘click’ before grabbing Baekhyun’s arm, dragging him the couple doors down to your suite. He yelps and asks where you’re ‘kidnapping’ him. It’s easy to ignore his helpless cries with the obnoxious sound of your heels slapping against your feet. 

Once in front of your door, you dig through your purse for your key, forgetting you didn’t secure your dress. The top half flutters down, titties basking in the breeze.

You freeze, eyes closing tightly as you bite your bottom lip so hard you think you’re going to bite it off. Your only saving grace is that Baekhyun is behind you, obscuring his view of your private bits.

You hear him huff in annoyance before he’s brushing your hair out of the way, gathering your dress, zipping it up as far as it can go with your arms not in the sleeves.

“Thank you,” you whisper, face burning in shame. Dejectedly, you find the key and get you both in. You kick your clacky shoes off, not wanting to draw unwanted attention, and lead Baekhyun to your room. You rest your forehead against the door as you close it, giving yourself a moment to just breathe.

Once you’ve deluded yourself into thinking you’re good, you turn around and face your friend. He’s taken residence in your vanity chair, searching your frazzled figure with worry. You can only imagine what you must look like from his point of view.

Finally, he musters the courage to speak. “You look….”

“I don’t want to hear it.”

“Okay…. Would you care to explain why you were running out of Chanyeol’s room like you robbed him? In your wedding clothes, no less, first thing this morning?”

You rub your eyes. To be honest, no, you didn’t want to have this conversation. Especially with Baekhyun. No offense to the guy, you adore him, but he’s not really known for taking things seriously. Except… right now it does appear he’s taking this situation very seriously. Although there is a hint of playfulness in his tone, you can’t see any of it on his face, only genuine concern.

Defeated, you sigh and march to your bed, plopping down onto the edge to bury your face in your hands.

“We had sex.”

“Really? I couldn’t tell,” he answers sarcastically. You glare at him through your fingers. He grins in reply, but it’s soft, reassuring, letting you know that everything will be okay.

It slips from his face as a thought occurs to him. “You weren’t drunk, were you?”

You shake your head and he lets out a relieved breath.

“Quite the opposite. It was probably the most sober decision I’ve made this whole trip.”

“So, what went wrong?”

“I just….” You recall your confession and wince, stomach flipping with embarrassment. “We ended up running into each other in the elevator and went to his room. We were only supposed to talk. But, I don’t know. You know the wedding was a lot for us both. And this trip has been very stressful and tense and we haven’t been alone since we got here and maybe that was for good reason because obviously we couldn’t handle that if–”

“You’re rambling,” he interrupts.

You take a deep breath. 

“I told him I loved him,” you push out before you can regret admitting it. It sounds even worse spoken out loud.

“And?” He asks, skeptically.

You blink in surprise at his reply. “And he, well, he didn’t say it back.”

You avoid his gaze and bring your knees to your chest and nibble on your thumbnail anxiously, waiting for Baekhyun’s response to the new detail. You must have rendered him speechless, because he remains silent. Either that, or he’s trying to figure out the best way to let you down on Chanyeol’s behalf. That makes you stiffen your shoulders, bracing yourself for the cold dose of reality. It never comes, and his lack of response drags until you think you’re going to explode.

Finally, you whip your head up to him exasperatedly just to see him looking at you like you’re the dumbest bitch he’s ever seen.

“What?” You snap, hating how condescending his expression is.

He rolls his eyes at your tone and lets out a laugh coated in disbelief, rubbing his forehead. “I love you, but you’re stupid.”

“I know,” you sulk, pouting as you rest your chin on your knees. “I wasn’t thinking straight, obviously. I got too caught up in the moment. Being with him like that, it brought me back to the good ol’ days, when we were falling in love. But, we’re not in college anymore. We’re not the same people we were when we were together.”

You furrow your brows, really trying to untangle your thoughts. It’s a lot easier to do with someone to look at.

“That’s what it is. I mean, how can I still love a man I don’t know? I can still have lingering feelings for the man I used to know, though. Maybe having sex was a good thing? All that leftover tension between us can finally rest. Yeah, that’s what last night was–left over tension. Now that we’ve done the deed, we should be good now. Sure, we still need to have a talk, there’s still some things we need to address to fully move on, but I think the hardest part has passed.”

You search your friend’s face for the right answer. “Right?”

His lips thin and then he’s sighing. “Do you want to know what I think?”

You nod miserably, thoughts too chaotic to decipher any logic.

Baekhyun stands up and walks over to you, reaching out to rub your arms comfortingly. In a gentle murmur he says, “I think you need some breakfast.”

A surprised chuckle leaves you as you lean forward, resting your forehead against his stomach. “You’re probably right.”

You relax under his touch, and you both stay like that. His hands go from your shoulders to your back, rubbing soothing circles onto your skin. The repetitive trail makes you drowsy.

The door swings open.

“I thought I heard you co–OH MY GOD!”

Seulgi stands dumbfounded at the door, the hand not frozen on your door knob covers her hanging jaw. Shock coloring her face as she takes in the compromising sight before her.

Baekhyun stumbles quickly away from you, tripping over his feet in his haste.

“It's not what it looks like!” You defend. That’s literally the worst line you can possibly say to her.

“What the hell!” She squeaks. “What the fuck is happening right now!?”

“We were just about to get something to eat!” Baekhyun says, as if that explains anything.

“HUH?!” Seulgi starts fanning her reddening face. She turns to you, not even going to humor him. “Look, I know this weekend has been rough for you. I understand you wanting to distract yourself by getting underneath someone. But, to sleep with Baekhyun of all people–”

“Hey!” The man in question barks. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Seulgi, please,” you beg. Crawling off the bed, you stumble over to her. “That’s not what happened at all!”

Your words go through one ear and out the other as she glares at Baekhyun, who’s shivering in his metaphorical boots under her judging stare. “I can’t believe you would do this! Chanyeol is your best friend! Do you not care how this will affect him when he finds out?”

“We didn’t do anything,” you plead.

“Then explain what I just walked into! Explain why you look a damn mess! And are those–are those hickeys?”

“I HAD SEX WITH CHANYEOL!” You yell in her face.

“I–wait, what?” You can see the internal conversation she’s having with herself as she tries to comprehend what you just confessed to her. When your words have meaning, a look of sheer horror contorts her lovely features.

“You didn’t.” Her voice is low, threateningly so.

You gnaw at your bottom lip, even more anxious than when Baekhyun was questioning you. 

Your silence is an admission and she yells your name accusingly.

“I know!” You agree. “Please, I know!”

“I don’t understand. How? Why? I thought you were over him, or at least trying to be. I–”

“Hey,” Baekhyun cuts her off, joining your little party. He rests a hand on her shoulder. “Let’s let her take a shower and get into some clothes that don’t have cum stains on them. Then we can get breakfast. She can explain everything then.”

“There’s no cum on my dress,” you mumble with a frown.

“I know Chanyeol’s kinks,” Baekhyun says. You huff in defeat.

Seulgi’s cat shaped eyes bounce back and forth between you both skeptically. You can see all the questions she has running through her pretty head.

“Alright,” she reluctantly agrees. “Hurry and get ready. I’m starving.”

You have a feeling it’s not food she’s hungry for.

Baekhyun leads her out of your room, throwing you an apologetic look, and you wonder how many more times he’s going to look at you like that.

Nearly an hour later, you find yourself in a little unassuming mom and pop restaurant. Baekhyun’s grandmother lives on the island, so he knows all the local hot spots. The ajumma serving you is absolutely thrilled to see him, promising to put a bit more love in your food, which you can definitely taste upon your first bite. It is exactly what you need after the active night you’ve had.

“Yerim made it home safely,” Seulgi informs, not glancing up from her plate as she does.

Your lips thin at the mention of her sister, knowing she’s bringing her up on purpose.

You didn’t need her reminder. Yerim has been on your mind all morning.

“Yeah?” You finally answer. “Glad to hear. I’m sure she’ll hate me for good once she finds out what I did right after she left.”

“She’ll get over it,” Baekhyun is quick to dismiss.

“She’ll forgive you,” Seulgi allows. “But she’ll never forget.”

Leaning back, she finally gives you a sharp look. “What happened last night anyway?”

Luckily, you just so happen to scoop some food into your mouth when she asks that, so you take advantage and slow down your chewing. Aiming to enjoy every last bit, because you know it’s going to be the last time you’ll be able to. You swallow it down with some water, for good measure, taking your time chugging it empty. 

Seulgi watches in amusement, knowing what game you’re playing.

“Well,” you start, scratching behind your ear. “As you both already know, Chanyeol and I hooked up last night.”

“Hooked up?” Seulgi clarifies incredulously. It’s an interesting choice of words to describe what the two of you did.

Beside her, Baekhyun shakes his head, but keeps his opinions to himself, allowing you the floor.

“Yeah. And I want to say, for the record, that it was spontaneous. We just so happened to bump into each other when I was on my way back to the room. He asked me if I wanted to go to his room instead and I said yes–innocently! We were planning on just talking. And I mean, we did talk a bit?”

“Did you talk about Yerim?” Seulgi asks.

“No….” You avoid her stare and sink into your chair.

“Did you talk about your breakup?”

“No….”

Her eyes narrow. “So, what did you talk about?”

“About the wedding,” you answer like it’s obvious.

“And now it all makes sense.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You pout.

“The two of you have been tiptoeing around each other all weekend. I thought it was just the awkwardness of seeing an ex–in your case, an ex dating your friend. But I misread it. Now it’s pretty obvious that if it weren’t for Yerim, you would’ve probably slept with him sooner. It wasn’t awkwardness I felt, it was tension…the sexual kind.”

Your frown deepens. Were you seriously that weak? You thought you did a pretty damn good job resisting Chanyeol, but it only took three days to fall into his sheets. That wasn’t very strong of you at all. Seulgi is right. Yerim was the main reason for you keeping your distance, not your pride or your past. She had only been gone a few hours before you gave into him.

“Does that make me a terrible person?” You quietly ask.

“I don’t think so,” Baekhyun answers simply, shrugging when you lock eyes.

“It doesn’t,” Seulgi agrees, although she lets out a tired sigh right after. “But I still don’t understand why? It’s been years, girl, and you’ve never mentioned him once in that time. It’s been a while since you got laid, and even longer since it was with Chanyeol. Old habits die hard, and you didn’t get the closure you wanted, but sleeping with your ex seems so out of character for you.”

“He’s not just some ex, Seulgi,” Baekhyun intervenes. “He’s her ex fiance, and they didn’t break up on bad terms, necessarily. There’s still love there.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” you interject, shifting in your seat uncomfortably. 

“So, it was just an old attraction? Old habits and all that?” Seulgi asks.

“I think so,” you say and she seems to melt in relief. “I think it was just left over sexual tension, and now that we’ve got it out of our system, we can be normal. We can move on.”

Baekhyun doesn’t seem convinced. “And you’re sure Chanyeol will agree with you?”

You shrug. “I don’t see why not. It was just sex.”

“It’s never ‘just sex’ with Chanyeol, and you know that. Especially when it comes to you.”

“You’d be surprised,” you mutter, mood dampening at the memory.

He doesn’t hear you. “And I know you’re lying. Didn’t you tell him you loved him last night?”

You glare at Baekhyun and he answers it with a smug smile, knowing he just set you up.

“You did what now?” Seulgi asks deadpan.

Internally you wince. “I might have told him I loved him while in the throes of passion.”

She says your name disapprovingly. 

“And you know what? He didn’t say it back. So, you see? It was nothing more than physical for him as well.”

Seulgi looks as though she has some words for you, but Baekhyun beats her to the punch.

“You both drive me insane,” he groans. “It’s obvious you both still care about each other, what’s the point of trying to talk yourself out of it? It’s never too late to try again, and trust me when I say Chanyeol wants to more than anything. He’s already asked you for a second chance. He wants this! He wants you!”

“He said all that when he was drunk off his mind, Baekhyun.”

“Doesn’t make it any less true!”

You groan and lean your head back against your chair, feeling the pressure of the world falling onto your shoulders. It hits you then, the weight of Chanyeol’s affection, and for a moment you’re back on that sidewalk, drowning in it. You remember why you left, remember the moment your love for him twisted into something dark. Chanyeol said you told him you hate him. Truth is, you had. With him back in your life, you forgot about that, forgot that there was another reason why you were trying to avoid him. Again, everything is even more confusing, and you find yourself at a total loss of what to do next.

“It’s okay to feel overwhelmed by that,” Seulgi reassures. She knows you way more than you give her credit far. “Everything is happening so fast. You don’t have to make a decision right now, and honestly, I don’t think it’s wise for you to.”

You lift your head back up and take in your concerned friends. With the way they’re both sitting on either side of each other before you, it’s almost like they’re the angel and devil on your shoulders. One speaks for your heart, while the other speaks for your mind. Holding onto each of your hands and yanking you back and forth like a rope in tug-o-war. 

“I don’t know the right answer,” you whisper, feeling your eyes water in frustration.

“Whatever’s going to make you happy,” Baekhyun answers simply.

You cough a laugh and a tear escapes, but you’re quick to wipe it away.

“I think,” Seulgi begins, reaching over and grabbing your hand. “You should give each other space, and wait until you’re back in Seoul. It’s only a couple days, and it’ll give both of you time to figure out what exactly it is you want from each other. Do you have an idea of what that is? Is it a relationship? Closure? Or just physical connection?”

“I’m not sure,” you admit.

She tilts her head and raises her eyebrows. You understand. She’s right.

“That’s probably the best idea,” you relent.

Baekhyun grunts in disgust. “Doesn’t Chanyeol deserve a say in this?”

“Of course he does,” you say.

“But that’s a conversation for later,” Seulgi intrudes. “Preferably with others around.”

You lift your hands up in defeat. 

Now that your problem has been solved for now, you all go back to eating in a comfortable silence. Everything still tastes amazing, thank fuck.

Suddenly, Baekhyun straightens and turns to Seulgi. “What did you mean earlier anyways? When you said me of all people?”

She scoffs. “Besides the fact that you’re a weirdo? You’re Chanyeol’s best friend. If you had slept together, it would be the deepest betrayal to him. But, if she had slept with any of you, my reaction would be the same. The only other person I could possibly see her with is Sehun, and even then….”

“Ew,” you both finish.

“I love all of you,” you say. “But not like that.”

“It’s the same for me too!” Baekhyun admits. “I would never do that to Chanyeol, because I would never do that, period. Don’t ever put that disgusting idea in anyone’s head again!”

“No problem!” Seulgi says, resolute.

You finish breakfast soon after that and leave for the hotel. Today is the first day of your little             reunion tour. Sehun figured that everyone would be too hungover to do anything that required movement, so you’re all just going to hang out at the beach and watch the sunset. Sounds like the perfect Sunday to you.

You all left your phones in the car, so the first thing you do once buckled up is check your notifications, reading the texts in the groupchat confirming some of the others were heading out to the beach and the location they chose. Baekhyun winces as he scans his device, catching your attention. When you lock eyes, he gives you that pitiful smile, almost like a warning, before turning his screen for you to read. It’s filled with texts and missed calls from Chanyeol.

“Oh boy,” is all you can muster, trying not to linger too much on the only message you can read: ‘please. I’m begging’.

“What’s up?” Seulgi asks from the backseat. Baekhyun proceeds to show her his phone and she shakes her head in dismay.

“Should I call him?” He asks.

“No,” you’re quick to reply. Avoiding his gaze, you settle into your seat, staring blindly out the windshield. You feel him watching you for a moment before sighing and starting the car, pulling out to drive you back to the hotel.

The elevator ride is long. You wonder if Chanyeol will be in the hallway when it opens. Baekhyun leans against the wall, rapidly firing off texts the whole way up. It takes everything in you not to ask him what he’s telling Chanyeol to calm him down. 

The doors open, and you’re both relieved and crushed to enter an empty hall. Baekhyun walks you both to your room, which is polite, but you all know is a front. His room isn’t on this floor, and you don’t need him to walk you back.

“Where are you going?” You can’t help but to ask.

He grins guiltily and nudges his head towards Chanyeol’s room. “I’m going to check on him. That’s why I came up here in the first place.”

“Right….”

He pats your shoulder. “Get ready and head down to the beach. I’m sure you got Jongdae’s text in the groupchat. Both him and Jongin are already setting up camp.”

“Don’t take too long,” Seulgi says in farewell before pulling you into the suite.

As soon as the door closes, she’s holding you by the shoulders, staring deep into your eyes. “You can’t go back on your word now.”

“I’m not,” you say, cringing as the way it sounds like a lie.

Her grip on you tightens. “It’s all going to work out. Don’t get all sulky.”

“I’m not.”

She smiles. “You’re such a terrible liar. It’s kind of cute.”

“Stop flirting with me,” you sigh, grabbing her hands to hold them instead. “I’m going to take your advice. We need space.”

“Space,” she repeats approvingly, rubbing your knuckles with her thumbs.

Banging on your door causes you both to jump.

“Yeol, stop it! I already told you they’re not there!”

“I need to know for sure.”

You swallow thickly at the sound of Chanyeol’s voice.

You hear Baekhyun sigh and then Chanyeol call your name, which jerks you closer to the door. Seulgi grips your hands harder, holding you back. You lock eyes. She shakes her head in warning.

“Are you in there?” He pauses briefly, waiting for you to reply. You hold your breath, afraid in the silence he can hear your heart’s rapid beating. “Please, open the door, Mel. I just… I just need to see you.”

His voice is calm, but alarmed, as if he’s trying not to sound as desperate as he feels. He knocks again, the reps urgent, giving away the worry he’s trying to disguise.

“I just need you to tell me everything’s okay.” Now his voice cracks.

Fuck it. You can’t avoid him forever. You go to open the door, but Seulgi’s hold is surprisingly strong and you can’t break it.

“Space, remember?” She whispers.

You didn’t know that started now. 

Reluctantly, you relax, leaning your head on Seulgi’s shoulder. She wraps her arms around you, rubbing your back as you wait for Baekhyun to do his job in getting Chanyeol away.

“I can’t do this again, man,” Chanyeol’s broken voice comes through the door. “I can’t lose her again. Not like this.”

“I know, Dude.” Baekhyun sounds just as helpless, and a wave of guilt washes over you from putting him in this position. “But, she’s not in there. Let’s go to my room so I can change. It won’t take long, so don’t even think of ditching me!”

A silence drags on for so long you’re sure they’ve left. 

“Chanyeol?” Baekhyun urges.

“I–okay. Let’s go.”

You hear them retreat and let out a breath.

Seulgi whistles. “Quite the mess you’ve made.”

You swallow the lump in your throat. “You can say that again.”

“Hey,” She rubs your arm. “He’s going to be fine. Let’s change. I’m sure you’re now very eager to get down there.”

You let her lead you to your room. The whole time you can’t get over the pain in Chanyeol’s voice, a pain that you caused.

series m.list | main m.list

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taglist @byunparklimchoi, @defloey @notyuji @hisungovenaocare

[erythristicbones]

had my cousin drive me to get mcdonalds but b4 we got there we had to jump out of the car and rescue a kitten off the fucking highway so uh. that's how my day is going

[ayyyez]

ez could i request headcanons for a first date with tamaki and kiri :) i love u

a/n: absolutely peach my love, thank you for being the first to request some bnha headcanons 💖 I love both of these boys so much 💖 warnings: none

Amajiki Tamaki

Ah this boy panics the instant the date is set. He begins jumping from idea to idea for the location and them falls into his regular pessimistic cycle thinking about how the date is going to bomb before he even makes a plan.

Mirio sets him straight and gives him a confidence boost. After they have a long talk they decide the best way to make him panic less and be as comfortable as possible would be to do something lowkey. 

He ends up taking you to the park on a sunny day when there are food stalls around. He gets there waaaaaay too early. Like an hour early. Panics he got the time wrong. Checks his phone 4 times with the confirmation text. Freaks thinking you won’t show but swallows all the down and sits on a park bench (the chosen meeting spot). 

His eyes practically light up when he sees you arrive 15 minutes before the time you were supposed to meet. If you smile and wave at him (call his name) he calms a little. This meant you wanted to be on this date with him. Good. No, THANK GOD. 

A little jittery at first. Kind of mumbles about going for a walk. He shakes a little when you ask him to repeat because you didn’t catch it. Then he manages to say it louder and out practically beam. His heart skips a beat because that smile is for him. (okay he can do this.) 

The two of you walk around the park and he tries so hard to think of something to say. You come to his rescue and start making conversation. “I heard the foodstalls around here a good!” Tamaki manages a shy smile. “Yeah, I wanted to try them...with you.” This boy is a sweetheart okay. 

By the time the two of you get to the stalls he has a little more confidence and asks what you want to try first. His eyes are glued on the seafood stall when he goes. You pick up on that and point to it. “I think I want to try that one.” He turns to you a little surprised but then smiles. “Oh, me too.” (you know that). 

The two of you continue going from stall to stall and you keep asking him questions. He wants so badly to return the favour but most he can manage is a “what about you?” but you can tell he is interested. Tamaki is really good at observing and listening so he prefers to hear what you have to say then talk about himself. 

Tread gently around pushing to hard about himself, start of gently by asking some questions and he will eventually open up on his own. He wants to tell you lots of things but he feels far to vulnerable on the first date - it will come later. 

The thing with Tamaki is to even get to this point of a first date the two of you would have to of been friends first with a fair bit of contact. Otherwise he would have had no courage to go on this date. Actually when he went to ask you he couldn’t get it out so you ended up asking him. But you left it to him to pick the place (you knew he wanted to ask you but couldn’t wait any longer). 

Once the two of you have eaten your fill he doesn’t know what he should do. Should he end the date there and retreat home? He felt kind of hot being around you so long. He had liked you for a very long time and couldn’t imagine he would ever had gotten this far. he’s in a dream. 

It has to be you who suggests continuing the day. He probably follow you anywhere but you can tell he is pushing himself already. You suggest sitting beneath the shade of the tree for awhile. 

He sits against the trunk, loosely hugging his legs while you lie on the grass, looking up at the leaves of the tree. He is looking at you, not directly, he doesn’t want to be caught but his gaze lingers by you enough to see your face. Your expressions makes him feel warm and fluttery inside. He loves your face. 

You talk familiar things. UA and your friends. The delicious food from the stand. You ask about his quirk. He asks about yours. It’s nice, casual and exactly what Tamaki needs to think this is going well. (it is). 

When it comes to part ways you give him the warmest smile “I can’t wait for the next date.” Tamaki felt his heart race. Another date. That was good. You wanted to see him again. Wait had he heard you correct? Was his mind running off with a fantasy. 

“I’ll text you tonight, okay?” You insisted and he nodded, his cheeks blushing vibrantly. You were going to message him. You were going to go out with him again. Tamaki walked home in a daze that day and his cheeks didn’t cool down for a looooong time lol. 

Kirishima Eijiro

This boy asks you out. And when he does he comes across as super confident, maybe a little bashful but trust me, inside he is a nervous wreck because this is you! The person he likes! He feels unworthy but he can’t sit on these feelings anymore.

When you agree he is the happiest he has been. You like him back? Amazing! Starts planning the date immediately while constantly texting you ideas. Bare with him, he’s excited okay. You gotta make him chill though or he will NEVER decide. 

The ultimate decider is you messaging “Hey, let’s do this one first and then we have plenty more dates after to do the rest.” You don’t see it but he blushes hard with the BIGGEST smile when he reads it. Queue smashing his face into the pillow he is lying on. He likes you a lot okay. 

You ended up settling on bbq and arcade date. (he loves his meat okay and honestly seeing his eyes shine over it is a reward in itself). Surprisingly though he doesn’t eat as much as usual. He’s still enthusiastic about it but the boy is nervous! Smile the whole time but also chock full of adrenaline and a little jittery. Wants to go go go! 

He talks a lot. Like a lot a lot. He can’t seem to stop. Sometimes you don’t even get an answer but god he is just so cute when he is nervous lol. He’s this giant ball of energy. When he stops to shovel food in your mouth it’s you chance to get a word in. 

Now don’t get me wrong, he would never talk over the top of you (and he doesn’t) but when it’s his turn to talk he can’t seem to stop. The two of you make it through lunch and when he shoots up to leave you can’t help but chuckle. Nothings more complimentary that he’s excited right? Excited to be with you. 

On the way to the arcade though you have to do something. You have to make him chill a little or he is going to explode. Grabbing him by the hand you stop him by the entrance. He looks down at your hand in his and he blushes a little. He chuckles nervously too but before he can ramble again you say his name, stopping him. 

“Hey,” you say softly and with a smile, “I’m nervous too so let’s take our time okay? Don’t run off on me.” Kirishima’s heart = exploded. Heart eyes to the max right here.

He takes a deep breath in and out. “Right!” He smiles and opens the door to the arcade. “Nice and easy.” He mumbles to himself. 

He chills a little more after that. He’s more like himself and letting the conversation flow naturally instead of constantly stimulating it along. Now you get to tease him whenever you win a game. He doesn’t really care about winning but he lives for the banter, especially when you kick his ass in the shooter games. Higher accuracy for the win. Just poke your tongue at him or wink and he’ll melt. 

There two of you are there for hours. Time goes so quickly. It’s dark before the two of you know it. “Damn.” You hear Kirishima say as he notices. “Let’s cash in our tickets.” You suggest. “I’ll use mine to pick out something for you and you do the same for me.” 

The two of you search the small shop, realising despite having lots of tickets it doesn’t buy much. You settle on a small, red punching glove that fits on one finger. He settles on a little key chain of you favourite anime character (omg he remembered you mentioning it?) a very cute boy indeed. 

The two of you bid farewell. “Do I get a chance at a second date?” He asks. You smile and leave him hanging for a moment. “We have to see all those places sometime don’t we?” Okay he can get used to this. 

[of-a-chaotic-mind]

Buried Alive

Summary: Reader wakes up buried in a coffin, Dean, Sam, Cas, and Jack make it to her just in time.  

TW/CW: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader, Reader is buried alive, Reader has a dislocated shoulder and broken leg, Dean has a break down, ghost makes an appearance, also Reader writes a goodbye note which is in italics, gets kind of angsty/sad at times.

Requested?: Yes! A lovely Anon said, “Hello love, may I pleaaase request a dean x reader one shot where she gets Burried alive (and she's already injured) because they got separated on a hunt and she only have a few minutes left before dean saves her and after she wakes up he gets a panic attack because he was so scared of losing her and she's the only one who can calm him down?? Pretty pleaaase can you include details I looove when I can picture every scene especially while she's trapped...”

Word Count: 2,372

A/N: This got pretty long pretty quick lol. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it! It was really fun to write and I tried to put in lots of detail. As always, requests are open and love to all!

[This gif highkey lowkey hurts my heart...]

Your POV

   Waking up in a dark, musty, wooden box is never a good thing, especially when your leg is bent the wrong way and your right shoulder is throbbing from being out of socket. Unfortunately, that’s exactly where I’ve found myself upon waking up. I try to remember what happened and recall separating from Sam and Dean, after some debate, to draw out the ghost we were hunting. I was looking around the old church and got knocked out.  

   Out of instinct, I press the palm of my left hand against the worn, splintery wood and try to force it upwards. Upon doing so, soft, damp dirt flows into the cracks. I drop the lid back down as my heart begins racing. I force myself to stay calm as I search to see what might be left in my pockets. Unfortunately, whatever put me down here thought to take all my weapons. It’s not like they’d do me any good at the moment anyway, I suppose. I do, however, find my phone in my jacket pocket. With a shaking hand, I pull it out and press the home button, I hope and pray, to whatever deity might actually be listening, that I have bars. No such luck.  

   I just so happen to glance at the lid above me and in the dim light of my phone, I see them. Long scratch marks litter the underside of the lid. Suddenly, the burger and fries that I had for lunch starts preparing for launch sequence in my stomach. I look back at the screen of my phone as if I might have miraculously gotten bars in the span of the past few minutes and of course find none. What I do find just might be my savior. I train my attention on my phone’s lock screen picture of me, Dean, Sammy, Cas, and Jack leaning against the hood of Baby. “Alright Cas, you there?” I pause, wondering what to tell him, “I don’t know where I am but I know that I’m buried underground. I don’t know how long I’ve been in here but I can feel the oxygen is getting low.” I might not have enough time left. I decide to type out a goodbye message on the notes app on my phone:

Hey boys,

   I might not make it out of this musty ass box so I thought I’d write this out here. I want you guys to know that I love you. Take care of each other and please for the love of all that’s good don’t try to bring me back, no matter how manageable you think the cost is. I never thought that I’d go out this way, always wanted it to be a blaze of glory, but here I am. Remember the good times we’ve had and remember me as the badass hunter that I once was and not the dumbass hunter who managed to get herself caught by a spook and shoved in a pine box. Anyway, tell Baby I love her. Dean, I love you too. Keep moving forward for me. There’s a letter in my journal for you.

                   I’ll be waiting for you boys on the other side,

                  In the words of Jimi Hendrix, “Excuse me while I kiss the sky.”

    I consider trying to add a Metallica or Zeppelin reference as I finish typing the last sentence but can’t think of one that would fit and hit save instead. Darkness creeps in on the edges of my vision before overtaking me.

Dean’s POV

   “Where the hell is she, man?” I ask Sammy as I pace back and forth across the room, “She should’ve been back a while ago and all my calls are going to voicemail. I’ve even left voicemails and got nothing.”

   “I don’t know, Dean,” Sammy answers as he peeks out the blinds on the window into the night, “We could-” he’s interrupted as a flap of wings is heard. I turn around and find Cas and Jack both standing there.

   Before I can ask, Cas launches into an explanation, “(Y/N) prayed to me. She said she’s buried underground and that the oxygen is getting low.”

   My heart leaps into my throat. Damn it, why did I let her go off alone? I go to punch the closest wall but Sammy catches my hand, “Can you figure out where she is?”

   “Yes,” Jack answers, “We would’ve gone straight there but we... don’t have shovels.” I grab my keys and jacket and race out the door with Sammy, Cas, and Jack right behind me, Cas spouting off coordinates. We get in the car and Sammy gives me directions and I pull out of the parking lot like a bat out of hell. I have to get to her as quickly as possible. I can’t lose her. Not now and not to something like this. She deserves to go down fighting not buried and helpless. In the rearview mirror, I can see Cas’s expression of concern and Jack’s knee bouncing as he fidgets with his shirt. I’m reminded that I’m not the only one worried about (Y/N) and take a rain check on my own impending melt down. Sammy shakily points at a turn up ahead and I take it on two wheels.

   After a couple more turns, I pull off on the side of the road behind an old beat-up clunker, beside a wooded area. Sammy leads us straight to the coordinates and we get to digging. I’m almost certain that the guys can hear my heart pounding as I hope with all I’ve got that she isn’t buried very deep. Finally, as our shovels hit wood, I carefully jump into the hole to pull the lid off of the coffin. I toss the lid to the side and my heart takes up residence in my throat once again as I discover that she’s out cold. I quickly and carefully wrap my arms under her and lift her up to Sammy who lays her gently on the ground as I climb out of the hole.

   When I drop to my knees on the leaf strewn ground beside her and pull her into my lap, Cas has his palm on her forehead, “She’s still alive. I've healed the break in her leg but her shoulder needs to be popped back into place before I can heal it.”

   Sammy lays a hand on Cas’s shoulder, “We can worry about the shoulder later.”

   I pull her close to me, careful of her shoulder, and beg, “Baby, you gotta wake up.” I kiss her forehead, “Please wake up. I can’t lose you.” It’s silent as I let my tears fall. Jack drops his knees on the ground beside us and Sammy and Cas squat down as well. They’re careful to give us space but I know they’re silently hoping just as hard as I am that she’ll wake up quickly.  

   “Guys, I think we should-” Sammy stops as she takes a deep breath.

   “Hey sweetheart, you awake?” I ask as my heart starts racing. I brush her hair out of her eyes. It takes a few seconds but her eyes finally open.  

   She curls into my chest as I hold her tighter, “I was so scared that I’d lose you.” I can’t stop the flood of tears that break through the dam.  

   She slowly sits up and throws her legs to either side of me before scooting closer and wrapping her arms around my waist, loosely due to her shoulder, “Shhh, it’s okay baby. I’m here.”  

   I say nothing and bury my face in her neck and try my best to stop crying, “I knew I shouldn’t have let you go off alone. I should’ve been there with you. I should’ve-”

   She stops me, “Don’t do that, Dean. Remember how we talked about this?”

   “But I-”

   “No, it was my decision. It’s not your fault,” she says calmly. She rubs my back and begins humming Metallica and soon I’ve managed to stop crying but unfortunately, I continue hiccupping. I pull away and look over her shoulder at the guys. As much as I don’t want to let her go yet, we need to get her shoulder fixed and I’m sure they want hugs too. She kisses my cheek before getting up.  

   She hugs all three of them before returning to Sammy, “Can you pop this back in place for me?”

   “Y-you sure?” he asks, confused as to why she doesn’t want pain killers first.

   “Yeah, it’s not the first time and it probably won’t be the last,” she chuckles. He pops her shoulder back into place before Cas heals it for her.  

   Finally, she returns to me and wraps her arms tightly around me, “Let’s get out of here.” We turn to walk out of the woods and pass a church that I didn’t even notice on the way in, that must’ve been the one she wanted to check.

   “Uh, guys, we have a problem,” Jack states. I tear my eyes away from the church and look ahead of us. Standing, or rather floating, just a few yards away is the ghost we had been hunting.  

   I sigh, “Shit, we don’t have any salt or iron with us.”

   “No but I know where some is,” (Y/N) says excitedly. How on earth is she so ready to spring back into it right after almost dying?

Your POV    I drag Dean with me and the other guys follow as I run into the church. I bolt down the stairs to my right as we enter and find exactly what I’m looking for. A fireplace in one of the offices down here still has iron pokers hanging on its mantle. I remembered seeing them when I came through here the first time. I also happen to remember that there’s a kitchen down here too. I take an iron poker for myself and hand Sam and Dean one, “Cas, Jack, you guys might want to fly the coop. We can handle this.” They look unsure but leave anyway in a whoosh of wings. I take off toward the kitchen but unfortunately find no salt. That’s when Sammy is thrown against a wall. Dean and I whip around to find the ghost holding Sammy by the neck. Dean slashes through it without hesitation and it disappears and Sam regains his breath.

   “Please tell me you have some idea of how to get rid of this guy,” I ask Sammy.

   “Not quite,” he responds.

   Dean looks dumbfounded at both of us, “There’s literally a cemetery right outside.”

   “No, he’s pissed off because he wasn’t buried in the church cemetery like he felt he was supposed to be because he was the pastor,” Sammy informs, “The legends say they buried him in an unmarked grave after burning him at the stake for witchcraft.”

   “Shit, so we’re not looking for bones then,” Dean mumbles, looking around the office.

   “Right now, it looks like all we can do is get the hell out of here and try to dig around for what might be keeping him here,” I explain. With this, we all three high tail it to the car. We have to stop a few times along the way to slash through the ghost but finally, we make it and head off on our way back to the motel.

   Once we’re finally back in our motel room, I shrug my jacket off and head for the shower, “I’m gonna clean up really quick and then we can get something to eat and some rest and revisit this case in the morning.” The boys agree so I grab some clean clothes out of my bag and head for a warm, relaxing shower.  

   I pull of the dirty, sweaty clothes and step under the warm spray. I let the grim and gross wash away some before washing off with the soap. I wash my hair as well and only pull myself out of the shower when my stomach growls. I step out and dry off before pulling on my clothes. I’m working on drying my hair when I step out of the bathroom to find Dean and Sammy both sitting on the end of the bed with tears in their eyes. I tilt my head, “What’s wrong guys?”

   I drop the towel on top of my bag and step over in front of Dean as he hands me his phone. Looking down at the screen, I read what I thought I had saved to my notes on my own phone. Apparently, I was so out of it when I typed it up that I accidentally typed it up in a message to Dean and hit send when I thought I hit save. My heart sprints in my chest as I look back up at Dean and try to explain, “Dean, I-”

   He says nothing and instead stands and wraps his arms around me to once again pull me in close to his chest. I can feel him shake as he tries to hold back his tears. He pulls away and looks me in the eye, “Did you really think you wouldn’t make it out of that?” I nod solemnly. He takes a deep breath to steady himself, “Well, I’m glad you did. Next time, you can tell me that in person when we go down together, yeah?” I mentally thank him for not mentioning the letter tucked away in my journal.

   I nod again as Sammy chuckles, “I should’ve known that even when you think you’re saying your last words, they’re going to be attempts at humor and classic rock references.”  

   I smile and laugh, “I thought the Hendrix reference was rather poetic.”

   Dean looks at me laughs weakly, “I figured you’d have thrown in a Zeppelin or Metallica reference.”

   I shake my head as I head for the door because my stomach growls, “I thought about that but I couldn’t think of one that would fit. Besides, I wouldn’t want to ruin some of your favorite bands for you.” Together the three of us head for dinner but I know in the back of my mind that we’ll be recovering from today’s events for a while to come.

Masterlist

Taglist: @emiijemii​

Dean Winchester Taglist: @akshi8278

[nonbinarycryptic]

Run By My Side (Deciding X Reader)

My eyes snap open, my chest heaving from how hard I was breathing. I'm recognizing I'm having a panic attack, which only gets worse when I realize I can't remember anything. Slamming my eyes shut I try to even out my breathing. I focus on the holed floor beneath and how my fingers can curl through it. I focus on the whirring sound as whatever contraption I'm in rises. I focus on the smell of the wooden crates and the ropes that surround me. Reopening my eyes I have them adjust the passing lights as I continue to go up. And finally, I focus on the bitter taste in my mouth from dehydration. My breathing slows down and I take a moment to think, straining to try and find answers from the depths of my mind. Finding nothing I let out a frustrated groan.

"Help!" My scream is hoarse, sounding more like a deflating balloon instead of a cry for people. Standing up, I hold onto the sides of the supposed elevator to keep my balance. I bang on the top of the cage hoping that someone would hear me. When nothing happens I grow more frustrated with the predicament I'm currently in.  I kick the side of the cage in my anger. The sidekick felt natural for some reason, maybe I was a professional fighter in my regular life.  It's the closet lead I have to whoever I was. I plop back down on to the floor, leaning my back against the wall of the elevator looking upwards as I slowly get closer to my destination. After what feels like forever the metal box jerks to a stop harshly causing me to get thrown up in the air slightly. My chin drops towards my chest as I groan and the concrete trapdoor opens allowing sunlight to flow harshly into the space. Indistinct chatter sounds above me but I ignore it, hoping they'll leave me alone. One of them jumps down into the box creating a loud clang that resonates in my eardrums. My hands shoot up to cover my ears as I look up at the man.

"You bastard!" They look a bit surprised by my outburst. "What is wrong with you? If I had a concussion do you know what kind of damage that could cause?" The dark-skinned male just stares at me in response. My eyes narrow into a harsh glare at him before another boy drops down next to him. Blondie rests his hand on the first boy's shoulders, leaning in to speak in his ear making sure no one else can hear him. The first boy stays tense but his eyes seem to soften only slightly. If it were anyone else they probably wouldn't have noticed but I did. The blond boy steps forward, holding a hand out towards me. Cautiously I take it and stand to my full height. I stand a couple of inches below him but I don't feel intimidated.

"It's nice to meet you, love. My name is Newt, I'm second in command here in the glade. The man from earlier is Alby, he runs the place. Do you remember your name?" I shake no causing him to smile at me.

"Don't worry that will come to you soon." He turns around and grabs the hand of two other boys who pull him out. I walk closer to the edge and grasp the boys' still outstretched hands, they hoist me up onto the ground beside. They drop into the box next however to start grabbing the supply crates that were sent up to me. I walk away from the box, my eyes never leaving the large concrete walls that surround us. I turn to Newt and Alby who both watch me with guarded eyes.

"What the hell is this place?" My voice is hostile with fear, Newt's eyes soften sympathetically. Newt walks forwards to me and places a gentle hand on my shoulder, leading me away as he begins explaining.

"Let me show you, this is the glade. We eat here and we sleep here. All the food we grow ourselves, we build all the shelters. That thing you were sent up in we call the box. It gives us whatever we need, sent up by the creators. Everything else is our responsibility. Once a month the box comes up with fresh supplies and a new Greenie. This month you get the title of Greenie, congrats." My eyes furrow in even more confusion at everything he just told me.

"I've got questions." An amused smile graces his lips at my words. By now we are crossing in front of some woods.

"Fire away."

"Who are the creators? What are those damn concrete walls? Am I the only girl here? Why is Alby so damn grumpy?" The last question causes Newt to throw his head back in laughter. It took him a few moments to calm down and answer my questions.

"We don't know who the creators are, all we know is they sent us with no memory except with our names. Those concrete walls I'll tell you about later, during the bonfire. Yes, you are the only girl here but judging by the glare you gave Alby earlier I'm sure you'll be fine but if you feel unsafe you can speak to Me, Alby, or Minho, our third command. And for your last question, Alby has been here the longest out of any of us, about two years. Makes a person a bit closed off don't you think." My eyes widen a bit in acknowledgment at his words and I let a hum. Newt starts talking again, still walking before he notices I haven't moved.

"Love?" He waves a hand in front of my eyes but I don't even notice it. A slight ringing in my ears grows louder the longer I stand there. Before long the noise becomes unbearable, I drop to my knees holding my head and clenching my eyes shut. By now more people have noticed something was wrong and have rushed over. Newt stops them from getting to close to me as I dig my nails into my scalp. Fully collapsing Newt rushes over to catch me before I hit the ground. Finally, the pain subsides and I slowly let go of my head. He holds me up by my shoulders, trying to look me in the eyes.

"Love?" The concern in his eyes doesn't leave especially at my panting.

"Amelia" The boys who gathered around me exchange glances with one another, confused.

"Pardon?"

"My name," I finally make eye contact with the British boy in front of me. "Amelia. That's my name." He smiles at me, the concern in his eyes leaving once he realizes I'm alright. The other boys around me chuckle and cheer now that I finally know my name.

"It's lovely to meet you, Amelia"

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My first Tumblr writing WOOHOO if anyone of you can figure out the oc was named after please reblog with your answer

@bearopp15 @lowkey-logan @milk-n-cheese @totallyinlovewithvanyahargreeves @spidey-skye @i-probably-ship-it-tbh @fbfh @that-bitch-klaus-hargreeves

If you wanted to be added to the taglist let me know

[i-bleed-strawberry-milk]

Ｆｉｒｓｔ Ｄａｔｅ (Shane Madej x Reader Fluff Fic)

(the first of a few fanfics about Shane Madej) ((this is also posted on my Wattpad so don’t worry if you see it there as well))

You're busying yourself at your desk, burying yourself in your work. You're an artist and writer for Buzzfeed, a job that comes with a lot of hours but the pays good. Shane has noticed how stressed out you've been, deciding that today was the best time to pop the question that he's been pondering for a few months now.

He's stood in front of his desk, staring over at you, "C'mon Shane, it's simple. Plus, even if she does reject you, Y/n isn't the type to ruin a friendship over something like this." Shane continues shuffling his feet, Ryan looks at him laughing to himself. He's never seem Shane like this, it makes him feel kinda guilty for teasing him, "Look man, she likes you, it'll be fine. She needs the stress relief anyway." Ryan puts a reassuring hand on Shane's shoulder. Shane glances over his shoulder, down at Ryan, who gives him a kind smile. Shane gives a stern nod, turning to face your desk again, you still haven't noticed the boys. Shane begins walking over, becoming more scared by the moment.

As he finds himself finally placed beside your desk, you once again don't notice until you feel the tap on your shoulder. You look up to see Shane staring down at you, he gives you an awkward wave. You take your headphones off, wrapping them around your neck, "Oh, hi Shane! What's up?" You ask smiling at him tiredly. "Well, uh, the thing is... Um..." Shane stutters, trying to think of the right words. "I'm listening." You smile reassuringly. Shane closes his eyes, taking in a deep breath, "I've been contemplating on asking you this for awhile now and seeing how stressed and overwhelmed you've been I thought that it'd be nice for you to take a break. With me. On a date." Shane kept his eyes closed, not wanting to see your reaction. Little did he know that you were smiling widely, "Are you asking me out?"

    "Yes, but if you're too busy or don't want to, I get it." Shane says, turning his head away nervously. You're mentally screaming but decide to try be cool, "No! I'd love to, I need a break anyway." You say, rose tinted cheeks and a cheesy smile. Shane smiles widely, "Cool, great. What do you wanna do?" He asks cooly, seeming to have relaxed once you agreed. "I don't mind. Something lowkey and chill. Maybe we could just grab some McDonalds and relax in a park?" You suggest, not wanting him to panic trying to think of something really romantic. "Oh, you are romantic. I don't know if I can keep up." Shane jokes with you, "Well I'm glad to see that you've eased up." You laugh, Shane scoffs, "What do you mean 'eased up'? I am the epitome of ease and chill. I've been told I'm quite the charmer." He says this leaning against your desk with a big smirk on his face. You chuckle, shaking your head slowly, "Alright Prince Charming, go away and let me finish my work. I'll see you later." You giggle, looking back to your work. Shane walks off, giving himself a high-five. You both have the same goofy grins plastered to your faces the entire day, eagerly awaiting your date.

   You look yourself up and down one more time before deciding that you look presentable. You chose to wear a black and white striped crop-top, a pair of high wasted mom-jeans, some old warn down vans, white adidas socks and some fishnet elbow-length gloves. You also have a pair of small hoop earrings in, tying the whole outfit together. You smile at yourself, you look good. The jeans and crop helped show off your figure, your particularly small waist and wide hips. You smile once more, then hearing a knock at your door. You quickly run to the door, maybe a bit too excitedly, deciding on leaving your phone so that you have zero distractions from each other. You grab your wallet and keys, taking your jacket down from the coat hook.

    You open the door to Shane looking very handsome in a sweater, a plaid shirt and a big navy winter jacket. He also has his glasses on which isn't a usual occurrence but you love the way it looks with the outfit, making him look very sophisticated, "Looking very smart Mr Madej." You smile at him as he looks down at his outfit proudly, "Thank you. You look," He gulps slightly, looking your figure up and down, causing you to raise an eyebrow, "wow." You blush brightly, smiling softly, "Heh, thank you. I feel bad though, I feel like I underdressed." You say gesturing to Shane's clothes, as you begin walking to Shane's car. He runs ahead of you, opening the passenger side door, "No, you look great. Plus, by that logic, I could easily say that I'm overdressed." You thank him gently as you sit into the car, he closes the door behind him. He quickly runs over to the drivers side, you laugh as he enters, "Yunno what? Let's just agree that we're a pair of sexy bastards." You laugh. Shane gives you a look of fake offence as he turns on the car, "I don't appreciate being called a bastard, Ma'am." You chuckle at his statement, "Hey, at least I called you sexy." You state, shrugging your shoulders.

You two are having a great laugh when you are coming out of McDonalds, "I cannot believe your level of awkwardness, 'YoU ToO.'" Shane laughs at your antisocial behaviour, you wheeze as he continues to make jokes about your cringeyness. "In my," You wheeze, "In my defence, I was never taught how to socialise." You two continue laughing all the way to the car.

You and Shane bought a box of 20 nuggets and some curly fries to share, along with a large coke, "That smells so good." You sniff the bag of food deeply, you sigh deeply, "Hot damn..." Shane laughs, "Would you two like to be left alone?" He chuckles. "Yes actually, you're ruining my date Shane." You say in a fake accusatory tone. Shane wheezes at your reaction.

You guys made it to the park a little late, getting distracted a few tines on the way, especially when you saw a guy guy making balloon animals. The parks closed when you arrive, "Aw man." Shane frowns. "Nuh-uh. I'm not having this. Gimme a boost." You say ushering Shane over. He has your cold McDonalds in hand, "You're not serious." He looks at you with raised brows. You nod your head sternly. He shrugs his shoulders, putting your food on the ground. He walks to you, bending down and putting his head between your legs, taking a hold of your thighs, "What are you doing?" You laugh, then screaming as he lifts you into the air on his shoulders. He laughs, stumbling around trying to regain his balance, "Shane, Shane, stop, I'm going to cry." You laugh nervously, tears starting to form in your eyes as you grip onto his hair tightly, "Ow! It's fine, you're fine!" Shane laughs, walking closer to the gate so that you can hang on to something other than his hair. He soothes your thighs as you cling to the gate for dear life. "See? You're okay!" You wheeze as you begin to stand on Shane's shoulders, "You okay?" You ask, your legs shaking as Shane holds your ankles.

"I'm okay, go on." Shane says as you take a step over the fence onto the other side. You jump quickly, falling to your knees. Shane gasps, "Are you alright?" You jump up, wipe off your knees and give him the thumbs up. He smiles, picking up the food and passing it through a gap in the gate. Shane begins climbing up the gate, you cringe watching as he scales the fence, "Be careful Shane." You wince as he jumps off the top, landing on his feet unlike you. "You good?" You ask sweetly, "I'm alright, thank you." He smiles at you gently. "Alright! Let's go!" You grab his hand, running towards the playground. You end up chilling on the swing set, pushing yourselves backwards and forwards for awhile as you eat your McDonalds, drinking your coke. After finishing your food you and Shane play around in the park for a bit. You have so much fun, you fall off the merry-go-round, you sit on Shane's lap and ride down the slide together, Shane gets stuck in the toddlers swing while you almost piss yourself laughing at him and Shane helps you across the monkey-bars. After awhile you're both really tired.

Shane lays his jacket onto the ground and bows dramatically, "M'lady." You giggle, bowing back, "Why thank you, kind sir." You and he chuckle as you both lie down onto his jacket. You stare up into the colourful night sky, sighing at the gorgeous sight. "Wow. The stars are beautiful, aren't they?" You say, breaking the comfortable silence between the two of you. Shane smiles, looking at you as you look off dreamily. He chuckles at a sudden thought, "Not as beautiful as you." He smirks. You laugh at the sweet line, "You did not just say that. That is the cheesiest thing I think I've ever heard you say." You shake your head looking over to Shane. "Oh really? I can get cheesier. Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see." Shane smiles widely, proud of the reaction you gave him as you wheeze. "How about, even if there wasn't gravity on earth, I'd still fall for you." You wheeze even deeper, losing a lot of breath, "Oh my god!" You clutch your stomach. "Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again." Shane laughs deeper seeing your reaction. You're crying as Shane continues his onslaught of terrible pick-up lines.

You wipe away your tears as you turn your head to look at Shane, who seems to have been staring at you. When you catch him, instead of blushing and turning away like he'd usually do, he smiles. He looks great in this setting, the pale white moons lights casted a beautiful shadow on his face. Shane just admired you from his position beside you, the way your hair fell, the way the light contrasts with your skin tone and the starry backdrop making your eyes glitter brightly. Shane's arms were open as his head was laid on top of his hands. You take this as an invitation to move toward him, resting your head on his chest, bringing one of your legs over his lap and hooking it around his legs slightly. Shane stiffens a bit, obviously not expecting you to do that.

He relaxes after awhile, bringing one of his arms out from under his head to your waist, massaging it gently as he pulls you closer to him. As he brings you closer to his side, he kisses your forehead, letting his lips linger there for a bit. You sigh, content. You stay this way for awhile, you really couldn't say how long. You just stay, enjoying each other's company, talking about life. You start leaving after realising the time was 1:39am and that you'd lost track through your countless conversations.

Once you'd both gotten over the fence unscathed, you walk hand-in-hand to his car. Like at the beginning of the night, Shane opens the car door for you, closing it once you're in. He starts driving you into the direction of your house, your hands still interlocked. You sigh happily. Shane walks you both to your door once you arrive back at your house, "I had a lot of fun tonight. Thank you so much for this, I needed it." You rock your intertwined hands back and forth as Shane's thumb draws soft circles on the back of your hand. "Me too. I'm really glad you said yes." He says looking up from your hands. "I am too." You giggle quietly.

You smile cheekily up at him, "I look forward to our next date." Shane's eyes widen a bit at your statement, a light blush dusting his cheeks. "Goodnight Shane." You get onto your tippy-toes, pecking him on the cheek. "Uh, goodnight to you too Y/n." Shane says, grinning giddily as you make your way into your house, taking your hand from his, much to your own dismay. Once you closed the door behind you, you jumped up and down happily, squealing.

Shane reaches his hand to his face, brushing his fingers along the spot where your lips met his cheek. He smiles widely, high-fiving himself as he dances goofily back to his car.

[softedwin]

quentin gets his coffee every morning from this coffee shop on campus

they just make the best goddamn coffee and he needs it so he spends all this money there

and he’s been going there for months now and suddenly one day there’s this really hot barista he’s never seen before??

he literally just stares for a few minutes and he’s so glad there’s a longass line because right now he couldn’t form a single word, he is quite literally starstruck

luckily, he catches himself until it’s his turn and the hot barista greets him with the widest, prettiest smile and quentin thinks he’s about to faint

he manages to order his usual order and once he���s been handed his coffee, he hands over a $5 bill and that’s where it gets tricky

the barista, who’s called eliot as his name tag reveals, squints his eyes at the bill and pulls out this weird light thing and examines the bill with it

and this has never happened before?? what the hell?? so quentin just stares in panic as eliot scans his bill and he knows that bill isn’t fake but what if

but apparently that’s not enough because he also pulls out a pen and scribbles all over it and he calls back to the other barista “hey margo, you’re supposed to see something if it’s fake, right?” to which a “yes!” gets shouted back at him

quentin cannot believe his eyes when a faint yellow appears on the bill, like he’s actually about to faint because he just took that money out and now it’s fake?

fuck fuck fuck he’s never had any troubles with the law and now he’s definitely gonna get arrested just for ordering a damn coffee

but eliot just puts the bill in the register and goes “sorry, just had to be safe but if it is a forgery, it’s a pretty damn good one. where did you get it?”

and quentin just stammers again because he’s so nervous for so many reasons but manages to get out “just outside the coffee shop”

eliot hands him his change, while never losing his smile, and nods, “duly noted”

quentin manages a smile while slightly blushing, and then just takes his change and his coffee and leaves asap because he seriously couldn’t have been around eliot any longer without exploding

the next day quentin comes back (obviously! who would miss out on coffee like that?) and eliot is also back and his face immediately lights up because he’s just so happy to see eliot again

he’s still nervous but it’s not as bad as yesterday and he places his usual order 

eliot takes his money and again?? he’s checking if it’s fake?? and quentin is just so confused because he’s been coming here for months and this has never happened and honestly what is this dude’s deal?

eliot gives him his change and his coffee, notes that everything is good and wishes him a nice day

and then it just keeps happening over and over again

to the point where he even checks his coins and that?? just doesn’t make any sense??

it’s also lowkey weird that he has never seen eliot before and suddenly he’s there every morning, like what is up with that??

one morning quentin pays attention to every customer that is served by eliot and none, NONE of them get their bills/coins checked

but when it’s his turn, eliot pulls out that weird light that quentin cannot see anymore at this point and scans his bill again

and quentin just loses it because what the fuck is his deal, why does he have to suffer through this but every other customer gets away with it

so quentin calls him out and asks why he’s the only person who ever gets his bill checked for forgery and eliot just shrugs and says it’s company policy to check bills

and honestly quentin is so frustrated at this point that he just wants to yell at him but he quietly takes his coffee and leaves

the days of quentin looking forward to eliot are basically over because at this point it’s more frustrating to see him than anything else

however, he still catches himself staring at those lips and how he wants nothing more than to kiss them, albeit in his current state very angrily

but now quentin has another strategy: just pay with card. there’s nothing that can go wrong with that, right?

oh honey, he had such a big storm coming

when he pulls out his card, eliot looks a bit surprised and quentin already celebrates this victory but when eliot swipes his card, he presents him with the receipt and a pen, saying “you have to sign this”

quentin is completely taken by surprise because what, he’s had this card for several years now and no one has ever asked him to sign anything

“you’re messing with me right?” - “nope, it’s company policy”

and quentin wants nothing more than to shout fuck your company policy, it’s making my life hell but he restrains himself, signs the receipt and just takes his goddamn coffee

eliot shouts after him “goodbye quentin have a nice day”

and quentin has never noticed that eliot doesn’t know his name - well until now

he is dreading the next morning to say the least

but quentin doesn’t give up, he never does, and eliot can suck his dick because he comes up with another plan

a plan so well thought out it can’t go wrong that he walks into the coffee shop with a wide smile on his face and he can tell that eliot is put off by it because the past few weeks he’s always been greeted by a grumpy face 

eliot yells his name so everyone in line can hear it cheerfully and asks why he’s in such a good mood

quentin tells him it’s nothing, just feels like a good day, and orders his usual

when it’s time to hand over the cash, quentin sighs quietly but gives eliot his cash

but before eliot can pull out all his tools which, at this point, just make him fume, quentin grabs for a piece of paper in his bag and throws it on the counter in front of him

“company policy my ass, I swear to god if you check this bill for forgery again, I will literally start screaming, I’ve had it up until hERE just give me my goddamn coffee, eliot”

eliot looks taken aback but doesn’t say anything, just nods, his lips spreading into a wide grin when he hands quentin his coffee and his change

before eliot wishes him a good day, quentin notices that he’s biting his lip and even though he’s still fuming, he can’t deny that it’s such a good fucking look

but dear lord quentin is so proud of the stunt he’s just pulled and for the first time in fucking weeks he didn’t get held up by eliot checking his bill and chatting away at him (yeah because he’s done that too)

while he’s pouring some milk and some sugar in his cup, he can hear one barista who he’s pretty sure is called margo say “wow he’s feisty, I didn’t know he had it in him” with eliot sighing and answering “it’s always the quiet ones, bambi” and who the fuck is bambi but there’s too much adrenaline pumping through his body for him to care

the next visits to the coffee shop are so satisfying because eliot gives him his coffee without a comment and he can enjoy his life and go on about his day without raging inside his head

sometimes eliot asks him about his day and they just chat away while eliot is preparing his order and it’s just nice and he doesn’t understand why it couldn’t have been like this from the beginning

because eliot is nice and sweet and kind and funny and he wants to get to know him better but he doesn’t know how so instead of dreading the coffee shop visits, he’s lowkey looking forward to them

especially to the big smile he’s greeted with when eliot sees him, the way he says “quentin!” that makes his heart melt every time and it’s hard to believe that just a few weeks ago quentin wanted to strangle eliot with his bare hands whenever he saw him

sometimes their conversations turn flirty but quentin tells himself that eliot is just being nice and isn’t that kind of his job as a barista? he would constantly ask julie

they kinda dance around each other for a while and one day eliot jokingly says that he’ll have to check his bill again (it has turned into a joke for them, they can laugh about it now) and quentin rolls his eyes but smiles and just says “ffs eliot just give me my coffee”

and margo joins in with an eye-roll of her ownand goes “yeah stop messing around with that boy” and quentin has a feeling that margo knows something he doesn’t because her words sound softer than usual, don’t have the usual annoyance in them, but quentin ignores it and looks expectantly at eliot

although he is pretty sure he hears her mutter under her breath “and finally ask him out jesus christ” but he must have misheard that, so again he just ignores it

eliot leans forward on the counter and quentin notices that he tries to be confident but he’s biting his lips, his hands are fidgeting and he seems almost… coy? and quentin has no clue why because eliot is one of the most confident people he’s ever met so this makes no fucking sense whatsoever

eventually, eliot looks up at him, with a shy smile gracing his lips, and he says softly “only if you go on a date with me” and yeah maybe quentin didn’t mishear margo after all

quentin is so shocked because what??? this literal god wants to go on a date with him??? and he just stares at him for a moment, his mouth opening and closing again like a fish that’s trying to breathe on land 

and eliot backtracks, shakes his head and says that he’ll still get his coffee even if he says no

“so one coffee means one date with you? I’ll take like 10″

eliot’s face LIGHTS up, he’s literally beaming and he smiles so wide

“please don’t actually make me 10 coffees, I’ll die”

and eliot just laughs because quentin is so adorable 

eliot writes his phone number on quentin’s cup and tells him to call him or text him or whatever and quentin promises he will

their smiles are both so wide, like their faces hurt from it but they can’t stop and margo just goes “okay let’s continue, you two have been holding up this line for way too long anyway”

when quentin messages eliot later that day, he asks where he wants to go for the date and when and eliot just says he’d love to go anywhere with quentin except for a coffee

they end up going for a picnic in a park and eliot told quentin not to worry about anything because he’ll prepare it

and dear lord did he prepare it, eliot went full out and quentin is just speechless and eliot is worried that it might be too much and quentin just smiles and says it’s perfect

eliot pulls out a cup and hands it over to quentin with a big smile

“the usual, freshly prepared. enjoy”

and quentin‘s just like ??? thank you?? I do not deserve you?? and he’s just so happy because eliot is so goddamn sweet

quentin points out that he’ll save so much money by dating eliot because eliot can just prepare his coffee every morning

eliot looks so offended by this statement because is this the only reason you want to date me?

quentin just wiggles his eyebrows and laughs but eventually shakes his head and eliot joins in on his laughter soon too

they just sit there in silence for a while, eating and drinking away and enjoying the good weather

until quentin asks why the hell he would always check his bills but not anyone else’s and eliot grins at him mischievously

„I just wanted to get your attention. and maybe rile you up. you look so adorable when you’re frustrated. but mostly I just wanted an excuse to speak to you longer even though I could tell you wanted to strangle me“

quentin just looks at him apologetically, bites his lip and ends up hiding his face behind his hands but eliot pries his hands away, takes them in his own and tells him it’s okay and how he probably would have reacted the same way and wouldn’t have had that patience and that there’s a million ways he could have gone about this but he chose to be so extra

“all that matters is that we ended up here” and quentin agrees and smiles again and he doesn’t think he has smiled so much around another person in his entire life

but eliot has to go and ruin it by saying that he doubts quentin could have resisted him for long, considering the snack he is, and when he wiggles his eyebrows, quentin rolls his eyes again but soon breaks out into laughter

they spend the rest of the day together and it’s honestly one of the best days of quentin’s entire life because it’s filled with so much laughter and love and happiness and quentin truly believes this is the beginning of something good

BONUS:

one night quentin and eliot are lying in bed 

they’ve been together for a few months now and going strong

but quentin is obviously brooding over something, he’s frowning and eliot decides it’s not a good look on his boyfriend so he asks what’s wrong

and quentin snaps out of whatever zone he’s in and blushes and shakes his head

but eliot insists he tells him what’s wrong because there’s something obviously bothering him

quentin makes eliot promise not to laugh and eliot swears he would never so quentin takes a deep breath and asks him why he was suddenly there every morning back then when before that quentin had never seen him around even though he went to that coffee shop religiously 

eliot raises an eyebrow and goes “this is what keeps you up at night?” but can’t help but grin

quentin sighs exasperatedly and tells eliot to just tell him

now it’s eliot’s turn to take a deep breath and he goes all quiet and quentin knows this moment is going to be important

“someone asked me to cover their morning shift because I usually did afternoons then. after I spoke to you, I asked margo if you came around a lot and she told me you’re there every morning. so I asked to be put on the morning shift every day because I wanted to see you again so badly”

eliot shrugs shyly and they’re both blushing 

quentin’s heart melts right then and there because how is he so goddamn lucky to have found a guy like eliot?

[notalone91]

All’s Well That Ends Well (To End Up With You)

Richie Tozier x Eddie Kasbrak (It: Chapter 2)

Richie and Eddie face their fears and, this time, Pennywise really doesn’t have anything to do with it.

tw: canon character death, momentary suicide contemplation, R for language.

a/n: Who let me have a new movie to be obsessed with?  Fun Fact: I’ve had a lowkey crush on Bill Hader for a long time (like since EARLY in the SNL years...) and it sort of ebbs and flows and... uh... right now it’s HIGH FUCKING TIDE.  You know what that means!  Time to make the pretty man’s character cry!!!

"Next time, we pick regular scary," Richie yelled as they ran down the tunnels toward the cavernous space where the rest of the Losers were still- hopefully- fighting Pennywise.

Eddie gasped for breath, wishing for a moment that he hadn't just set his inhaler on fire. "Next time?!" he squawked, shoving him lightly, not wanting to even entertain the thought of having to do this again. In his mind, maybe, in twenty-seven more years, he'd be able to shake off the guilt of what had just happened upstairs. Sure, he was afraid. That's all well and good. Most of the time, fear keeps you on your toes. Fear gets moles checked. Fear's tire pressure is checked regularly and the spare is in perfect condition. Fear turns the NFC setting off before walking away from the register. Fear becomes a risk analyst because what else does it do. Fear is safe and ready and aware. Until you're battling a monster for whom fear is a teenage boy in a microwave snack commercial. Then, fear is a liability. It's a weapon you've forged but never get to wield.  Fear is what gets you killed.  "There had better not be a fucking next time.  If there's a next time, we're all dead."

"Stop saying that, man," Richie said, tugging his still skittish friend into a small branch-off from their path. He struggled to pull his arm away and get back to the rest of their group but was fairly easily restrained. If there was one thing that his newfound memories had instilled in Richie, it was that their best shot at this shithead was together. "You weren't-"

"I was! I was going to let you die!" As he said them, the impact of his words hit Eddie like a ton of bricks. The shock and hurt on Richie's face was payment in kind. He folded his arms and took a step back, looking at the ground. "I froze. It had you and I couldn't..." He trailed off. His memory hadn't come back as clearly as the others yet. He wasn't sure what a lot of what was coming back to him meant. Soft touches, shared glances, hushed whispers mixed with the normal smacks and eye rolls and jokes about his mother. The only thing that was clear about it was the knot that developed in his stomach whenever he looked at Richie. There was something there. And not the bonds of escaping death. He certainly didn't get this feeling when he looked at Bill or Bev. This was different. Watching it set its sights on Richie, he felt himself completely detach from reality.  "I couldn't..."

Richie absentmindedly dug his fingers into his elbow.  “What, Eds? You were scared! This whole thing is nuts!”  He turned and started to pace, adjusting his glasses every time they began to slip.  “I am pretty sure if we hadn't all done this before, we'd have shit our pants and got the fuck out of dodge. You were stabbed in the face, for fuck's sake.”  His movements began to calm and he stared at him, gauze covering the too-fresh wound on his cheek.

“Yeah. And then what?”  Eddie spat, staring at his feet and cradling himself tighter.  “I'd be the guy who watched the only person he's ever loved get torn apart by some fucking spider version of...”  Just like in the movies, he could almost hear the record scratch to a stop and the glass shatter.  He had not meant to say that.  He was married.  His life was in New York and Richie’s was in L.A. and what difference did it make if he’d loved him when he was twelve?  His heart raced, betraying his panic, but all he could manage was a whispered  “Fuck.”

The tunnel grew eerily silent.  The two men stared at each other, willing the other to speak.  Richie couldn’t believe it.  

Over the years, he’d grown used to being alone.  Sometime since returning to Derry, he’d realized he’d been leaving room for Eddie to come back into his life.  He’d always look for someone’s reaction to his jokes, even alone.  Part of why he never wrote his own material was because no one on his team got them.  His assistants tried.  They really tried.  Time, now, made it all so clear.  He’d spent the last twenty-seven years trying to replace him.  Even moments before, his fears had manifested themselves as a closet.  How typical.  An aging queer literally terrified of a fucking closet.  Nothing had changed.  He’d let himself repress that whole aspect of himself because what difference did it make, truly, if Eddie wasn’t by his side?

He blinked back a few tears, finally finding his voice, breathless though it may have been.  “You loved me?”  

Eddie spluttered a few times but he couldn’t make himself clarify what he’d said.  Truthfully, it hadn’t required any clarification.  It was out there in the open and he’d said it and, terrified though he was he couldn’t find it in himself to regret it.  If only it hadn’t been while standing ankle-deep in grey water and feet away from a physical manifestation of their deepest, darkest fears.  He simply snapped his mouth shut and silently pleaded for him to drop it.

“Eds?” Richie asked again, taking a step closer to him.  He reached his hand out and rested it gently on Eddie’s arm. 

As though scalded, he retracted his arm and turned away, shouting, “We don't have time for this!”  He could feel the flush of his cheeks and praised whatever God was looking over this godless place for the light not quite reaching them.

Having exactly none of his aversions this time, Richie chased after him.  “God damn it, Eddie! We could both die down here and if it's my last chance to hear you say it, I want to hear it!”  He clasped his hands around Eddie’s arms and shook him lightly.  “Just fucking say it!”  Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, beginning to fall freely.  “I need to hear you say it!” he begged.

Eddie shrugged him off and backed away, the familiar fear rising up in his throat.  “Hear what? 36 hours ago, neither of us remembered who the other was!”

“Fuck! Do I have to say it first?” Richie conceded, backing himself against the wall for support.  “I love you.”  His words were more of a shout than he’d have liked.  They echoed around the cave, trying to make up for lost time.  The power of his voice shocked them both a little.  Richie wrapped his arms around his middle and stared at his feet, unable to look him in the eye.  “I've loved you since we were kids.  I've loved you since before I was old enough to actually know what that meant. Jesus,” he sighed, resting his head against the wall, “for the past 27 years, there's been this stupid void that I could never fill.”  He finally managed to bring his eyes to Eddie.  He took a step toward him and reached out to swat his arm.  “It was you, fucker.”  He gave a bittersweet smile and shook his head, almost unable to believe how long it had taken him.  “You and your stupid hypochondria and your answers for everything and your neverending...”  When his eyes met Eddie’s, he startled himself.  Eddie’s expression didn’t come across as pleased or anything even remotely positive.  All Richie could see was fear and immediately, he began berating himself for even mentioning it.  He sucked in his lips and threw his hands up in defeat.  “You know what? Forget it. We all will soon enough anyway.”

A pressure built in his chest as he watched the moment begin to slip away, and this time, it wasn’t an asthma attack.  “No!” Eddie whimpered, moving toward him and catching his hands, pulling him in closer.  “I won't forget.”  He brought the taller man’s hands to rest around his neck and cupped his jaw, realizing for the first time how much lighter his eyes had gotten over the years.  “Not this time,” he assured, leaning up to bridge the gap between them with a deep kiss that should have happened years earlier.  

Richie nearly fell backward at the sudden force.  He let his hands weave into his neatly coiffed hair and disheveled it in a way he’d wanted to for ages.  He’d forgotten so much but now... Now, he was sure he’d remember this forever, not that he planned on having to.  There’d be time.  So much time.  But for the time being, this would have to wait.  When he reopened his eyes and took him in, he realized something off.  “Were you on your tippy-toes, Eds?” he asked, laughing gently.

With an abrupt sigh, Eddie rolled his eyes and gave him a light shove.  “Oh, shut up,” he laughed, pulling him in again by the edges of his shirt and kissed him once more.  He smiled against his lips, despite himself, and muttered “Asshole.”

“I mean, it's cute,” Richie said, straightening up and letting his hands fall to the small of his back, “you have to reach for your prize.”  He puffed out his shoulders dramatically like he was some sort of amalgamation of Prince Charming and Superman all wrapped into one.

“Fuck you,” he said, pushing off of him and starting to, with newfound confidence, walk back to where the rest of the Losers were fighting a much more tactile set of fears.  “And don’t call me ‘Eds,’“ he called over his shoulder.

Richie let his gaze linger on Eddie a little longer than he’d ever done so intentionally, willing his memory to cling to every last inch of him.  Then, he started walking slowly behind him.  His stomach formed a tight knot as his mind settled on what they were about to do.

Before they reached the mouth of the tunnel, Eddie paused for a moment, letting Richie pass him.  “Hey, wait,” he called.  Despite the chill coursing over him, he realized there was something he hadn’t really said.

“What?” Richie asked, turning back to face him.

Eddie reached his hand for him and laced their fingers together, marveling at how right it felt.  “I love you, too.”  He smiled up at Richie and wrapped his free arm up around his neck, breathing him in.  Richie pressed his cheek against the top of his head.  Neither wanted to admit the overwhelming dread they were holding in.  At least dread wasn’t fear.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Richie heard a voice in the back of his mind.  It was Eddie, when they were young.  They were standing in the middle of the road in front of the house at 29 Neibolt Street two weeks before Georgie disappeared.  Bill had insisted on a hybrid game of Truth or Dare and Ding Dong Ditch, bored of their normal antics.  Stanley had already had his turn, having to ditch from the charred house on Harris Avenue.  He sat leaning against the handlebars of his bike and watched smugly as Eddie made his way up the path.  He got about halfway to the door and froze, staring at an upstairs window.  “This is fucking insane! I'm not staying here another minute.”  He turned around and hopped back on his bike, sending a booming “Fuck you guys!” over his shoulder.

“Hey, Eddie, wait up!” Richie called to him and sped off in pursuit, laughing a little at his friend.  After all, it was just a house.  

It was just a house.

It was just a house that led to the center of Derry’s sewer system.  It was just a house that was possessed by an evil shape-shifting clown.  It was just a house where they kept having ridiculous near-death experiences.  It was just a house where Pennywise had nearly taken Richie with the deadlights just moments prior.  It was just a house where Eddie had mustered up his courage and freed him from the grasp of it.  It was just a house where the fucking clown had impaled Eddie, spraying his blood all over Richie.

“Richie,” Eddie groaned, falling onto his side with a thud.

Clamoring to be next to him, not even noticing the amount of blood that had been spilled onto him, he started trying to put pressure on the gaping wound in the center of his chest.  “Ed!”  He scooted closer, taking the man in his arms, shaking, trying desperately not to make things worse.

A shaky breath carried out his name.  “Richie...”  His hands searched to grasp onto his shirt.  He clung to Richie, as though it would keep him.  

Tears fell quickly from Richie’s stunned eyes.  “Eds, it’s okay.  I’m here.  I’ve got you,” he said.  He appraised the wound for a moment and looked up at his friends for a moment, pleading for one of them to say it wasn’t that bad; that everything would be fine.  “You’re alright.  We’re gonna get you out of here.”  He stared at the pooling blood under his hands and ignored it.

That was the key, wasn’t it?  If he believed that Eddie would be okay, he would be.  If he ignored it, it was simply a trick.  It was one of Pennywise’s mind games.  It was nothing.  They’d get him out of here.  They had to.

“I got him, Richie.  I- I got him,” he stammered, as a drop of blood began to form at the corner of his mouth.  

Richie smiled, trying his best not to let his expression show even a trace of the panic that was building in his chest.  There was nothing any of them could do for him, at least not down here.  “You did, Eds.  You got him good.”  

Every breath Eddie took seemed to be more shallow and more pained than the last.  They had to get him out of here.  Richie placed his hand on Eddie’s cheek fondly, forcing him to stay focused on him with an encouraging nod.  “Now, let’s get you moving.”  

Eddie groaned with effort but couldn’t do much to get himself off the ground.  Richie slid himself under his arm and moved to act as a crutch.  “Bill, help me out here.”  Their friend stared at them, unmoved, paralyzed by the shock of how everything had unfolded.  He held a little tighter to a sobbing Bev but didn’t so much as acknowledge that he was being called for.  Richie shook his head and looked up at the next person.  “Ben?”  No response but a pitiful shake of his head.  Richie couldn’t understand why no one would help him.  He shot a pleading stare at Mike who steeled his jaw and pawed at his eyes.  He turned back to him and let his hands linger a little too long, a little too gently.  “Alright, Eds, on the count of three,” he said and leaned down to let him grip tightly around his neck.

“Don’t call me Eds, fuckface,” he whispered.  Richie gave a soft laugh and dug his hands into the back of Eddie’s shirt.  

Eddie knew, deep down, that he wasn’t going to make it out of this cave, but he wouldn’t let Richie think he was giving up.  In reality, he just wanted him to hold him until he was gone.  He supposed he would take what he could.  He wrapped his arms around him in as much of a hug as he could.  Eddie pressed his face into Richie’s neck and took a deep breath.  He nodded and made a soft noise that Richie took to mean “I’m ready.”

Richie took a deep breath and said, as confidently as he could, “Alright.  One... Two...”

From behind him, a shrill voice teased along “One... Two...”

Pennywise.  It was still alive.  He could vaguely hear his friends screaming as the clown sprung to life “Shit," he hissed, trying desperately to wrench him from the ground so they could make their getaway.

“Shit is right, Richie," the old clown sing-songed. "You want all your little friends to find out what you’re hiding?" He twitched his fingers toward the pair and then continued to extend until they were nearly touching Richie.  He stumbled back, maneuvering Eddie just out of the clown’s reach and scrambled in front of him.  "What’s that behind your back?  The boyfriend you’ll never get to have?”

Regaining his focus on the moment, Richie stood and chased the elongated fingers to the hand to which they belonged.  “Listen here you fucking pile of antique used colostomy bags,” he yelled, “there is nothing you can say to me that will make me think you’re anything but an intergalactic crybaby!”  As he landed the last word of the sentence, the clown began to take the form of a giant baby.  

As the group’s insults grew, the being shrunk and they realized the power of their words.  The smaller they could make him, the more likely it was that they’d win.  They believed they could and they did.  When they’d finally turned the little shit into the tiniest thing they could, Eddie and Bill reached in together and tore out his shriveled, still-beating heart.  One by one, the Losers hands joined together and they crushed the core of It’s being until finally, they’d won.  

Richie turned back to face Eddie and tell him they’d done it; that Pennywise was gone forever.  It hadn’t all been for nothing.  He went to call out his name, but the word stuck in his throat at the sight of his vacant, unfocused stare and still chest.  Richie ran the few steps to his side and slammed to his knees, putting pressure on the wound that had stopped bleeding.  He grasped desperately at Eddie’s shirt, his face, his hair, he shook him a little, trying to rouse him.  Even as Bev kneeled behind him, trying to make him see reason, his hearing swirled to nothing.  All he could focus on was the pattern of his own breathing, his own heartbeat, and the search for any sign of that on Eddie.  Tears made his vision swim.  Once more, he thought to himself that they should have split right away.

Just like that, he was in The Derry Townhouse with Eddie, safe and fleeing to anywhere that Pennywise wasn’t.  Richie peeked his head out of his room into the hallway and let his voice carry across into his friend’s room.  “You got everything?” he asked.  Ever since Mike had made his reasons for bringing them all back to this place they hadn’t even remembered existed until the day before, the group had been in panic mode.  They were all scrambling to head back to the lives they’d made for themselves in Anywhere But Derry.  For whatever reason, he and Eddie had clung to one another, even then.  They were remembering being close.  There was tension between them.  Something unspoken, maybe even when they were kids.  

“I think so,” Eddie called back to him amidst the whir of zippers and the thudding of luggage.  

“Alright,” he called, heading down the stairs with his duffel and laptop slung over his shoulders, spinning the keys to his rental car in his hand.  “Autobots, roll out!”

Eddie took one last lap of his room to make sure he had everything.  He patted down his pockets and made a mental check.  “Keys?  No keys, took a cab, leaving with Richie,” a curious smile tugged at his mouth as he said the name.  He paused, stricken by the reaction but he didn’t take the time to analyze that.  “Wallet, phone, inhaler, bags...”  He took a deep breath and gathered his belongings.  For just the slightest of moments, he stopped and acknowledged the rushing of his blood away from his stomach accompanied by a spike of adrenaline.  Butterflies.  His fight or flight mode was on high and that was the only reason for it.  There was nothing else that could possibly be making him panic.  Unless he was, as he suspected, sensitive to gluten and it wasn’t nerves but too much Chinese food.

“Rápido, Eduardo. Ándale, ándale!” Richie called, knocking on the downstairs wall and pulling him from his mental quicksand.

Forcing himself from the memory, Richie broke into sobs, burying his face into Eddie’s chest.  As the rest of his friends fought to pull him to his feet, he begged to take him with them; not to leave him down in the sewers in the dark.  As soon as he thought he’d convinced them, the chamber began to shudder and crumble.  Richie found himself glued to the spot.  He couldn’t leave him.  He couldn’t.  They were supposed to leave together.  He’d just admitted that he loved him.  After all these years, he was supposed to have a chance to finally see... no.  No, if this was where Eddie was going to stay, this was where Richie was going to stay, too.  And he would have, too, if the other four hadn’t banded together to force him to move.  They ran along the tunnels and up out of the cistern into the house on Neibolt and through the doors just in time for the entire building to collapse in on itself, vanishing into the ground and sealing Eddie in with the source of generations of suffering.  As the house began to cave, so, too, did Richie’s will to go on.  He lunged to go back in but was restrained by Ben and Mike until his body gave way.  He strained and scratched and kicked until he couldn’t find the strength to do it anymore.  He dropped to the ground and screamed Eddie’s name until his throat was raw.  It was no use.  He was gone.  It was over.  

Eventually, the Losers managed to get themselves together enough to walk to the quarry and clean themselves off.  As the group waded in the cool water, Richie focused on the blood all over him- had it really been so much?  How could he have thought, even for a moment, that a person could survive all of that?  As he focused on his glasses, he turned to make a snide remark about the germs to Eddie and realized, once more, that the blood was his.  He wouldn’t be able to hear the quip.  The survivors merged in on each other, clinging together for strength.  

A few days later, Richie made one more stop on the way out of Derry.  He put the mustang in park and eased out onto the little covered bridge over the creek in the woods.  He strode along the barricade, looking at years of graffitied carvings, each a testament to a love that had encountered Derry’s unique brand of torture.  He wondered how many of the couples were still together; if any of them had been torn apart by Pennywise.  

Finally, he stopped and gave a bittersweet smile as he saw what he was looking for.  A jagged R + E.  Small, vague, but there nevertheless.  27 years later and his innocent pining had left an impact.  Of course, it had.  Love always leaves an impact, whether you’re 12 or pushing 40.  

“I was gonna let you die!” echoed Eddie’s voice in Richie’s head for the millionth time since the tunnels.  It had become almost a taunt.

“You should have,” Richie whispered, lowering to his knees and resting his head on the railing.  “You should have let me die. We all still fucking remember and you're not here.”  The memories weren’t fading.  Last time, as soon as they’d gotten out, things got fuzzy.  By the time they made their blood pact, he could hardly remember the specifics of what had happened.  This time, though... This time, he could still remember every moment.  Every single one.  Specifically, though, the warmth of Eddie’s kiss and the blank stare he wore in death haunted his every thought since.  “If you were gonna die, you should have let me die, too, he said.

Richie took his old pocket knife out of his pocket and flipped it open, considering it for a moment.   He tested the tip against his hand and watched as blood beaded at the tip.  It would be so easy, he thought, to just drag the blade against his wrists and throw himself into the water.  Then, he could be with Eddie again.  Closing his eyes, he blinked out a few hot tears, then covered his face in his hands.  As much as he didn’t want to live life in a world where Eddie wasn’t, he could just imagine the look on his face if, after everything they’d gone through, he appeared in the afterlife having put himself there.  He wiped the tears from his eyes and refocused on what he’d come all the way out here to do.

Retracing the letters, he deepened the markings, ensuring that, on some level, they’d be able to stay together for posterity.  The set of freshly carved initials in weathered old wood was not a fair proxy for the love they’d never had the chance to share, but at least it was out there as proof that, no matter what happened from that moment forward, that Richie Tozier loved Eddie Kaspbrak.  

[kingyeoms]

neuroscience TA! joshua

pairing: joshua hong x reader (n)  genre: it’s all fluff sorry warnings(?): swearing and just really casual writing in bullet points lol word count: 2,044 a/n: i barely proofread this and this is nothing like what i usually write but i’ve been thinking about this since the start of the new semester and welp here we are. a/a/n: i just realized.. people might not really know what a TA/teaching assistant is! usually someone who is working towards their doctoral degree and are obligated to assist teaching a course in their department, usually in charge of teaching discussion/supplemental sections~ ♡ best read on desktop, use mobile browser if you can’t read under the cut ♡

3rd year phd candidate

does research on neural circuit mechanisms in aging adults

big geek about brains, shows a thirty minute long video of a sheep brain dissection for the first day of section

people fell asleep but it’s fine bc josh is so excited about the video and everyone finds it endearing

always dresses so casually!! comes to class wearing sweats and plain black t-shirts (probably buys them in packs for $3)

but he still has the reputation among the undergraduate students as the “hot neuro TA”

cracks jokes w/ his students all the time

literally everyone wants to take the class that joshua hong is TAing

“joshua what are you teaching next semester??” “topics in advanced neuroimaging, you gonna take it?” “never mind, good luck”

brings his dog named peanut to class all the time

peanut is a giant ass st. bernard who likes to walk around the class and sleep next to people’s feet

super adorable but also a big Drooler

you’re the other teaching assistant for the same neuroanatomy class, but in the psychology department

you’re super down to earth!! honestly you treat your students like friends, talking to them super casually

but when class starts, you know how to get down to business and you’re super passionate about what you’re talking about

the psych undergrads have a ton of respect for you, because not only were you chill but you were mad smart too!!

your kids walking into class: “y/n guess what fucking happened in lecture”

you: “listen, you probably shouldn’t say the f word in front of me but tell me what the fuck happened”

anyways, here’s a funny coincidence: your lab and joshua’s lab are on the same floor

so it’s not a surprise that you and josh have this ongoing “feud” of which is more superior: psych vs neuro

“psych is for people who can’t handle neuro” “neuro is for people who hate themselves”

your office is opposite of his, so he’s always stopping by your room to annoy you or steal something from the jar of candy on your desk.

you: “why am i constantly out of kit-kats?”

josh, fistfuls of kit-kats behind his back: “damn, you should probably buy some more”

he’ll mess with your powerpoint slides, swapping photos of the cerebellum for photos of him and peanut

which SUCKS when you’re teaching,, and josh’s dumb face pops up on the projector,, 

your kids: “nice one josh”

when you’re holding office hours for your students, he stops by and says some dumb shit to your kids like “come to my office instead, y/n doesn’t know what they’re talking about” 

“fuck off, joshua” “oooooh you curse in front of your students? i’m telling the professor”

you just roll your eyes and the two of you just laugh at each other

the students who come to your office hours swear you two have a thing going on

and honestly? you wish

you’ve always thought josh was pretty cute

being a phd student was stressful, especially with research and teaching, but he never failed to put a smile on your face!!

you two were often the last ones on the floor, in charge of locking up rooms and cleaning equipment

he always insists on walking you to your car at night because “the raccoons might attack you”

you’d be lying if you said you didn’t think about kissing him in your office but shhh

during lecture, you guys share a google doc to take notes on what to teach your students

he thinks it’s funny to delete everything you write

you, sitting next to him in the front row: “joshua hong if you don’t press ctrl + z right now i swear to god i’ll change the lock code to the EEG room”

josh: “wait don’t i have a study tomorrow”

proctoring exams with josh: “i can pass out tests faster than you” “are we five???? but no you can’t”

he’s really good… at catching people cheating? the dude has eyes like a hawk lmao and you don’t even notice honestly

“see the kid with the blue baseball cap on? give him a 0″

anyways the professor asks you and joshua to come in on a weekend to grade midterms

you: but i made plans

josh: i’m not ?? even getting paid ??

but you guys do it anyways because it’s not like you have a choice lmao rip

he brings peanut and he’s just drooling all over your bag

peanut not josh

i guess josh is metaphorically drooling because… you looked really good today

not the usual jeans and college sweatshirt you wear during the week

you had originally made plans with your friends to go to the farmer’s market

it was a really nice day :( sunny outside and you actually tried to not look like a mess for once!! you actually brushed your hair today lol

anyways, peanut is still drooling and you look at josh, confused but also a little grossed out

“why is peanut drooling?” “do you have food in your bag?” “i don’t think so?” “oh. maybe he just likes you”

peanut: pulls out a granola bar out of your bag

anyways… you two are grading exams, checking over the answer key for any mistakes

you furrow your brows as you look over the answer choices, so you ask josh to take a look at question 23

“yeah, what about it?” “look at the answer choices, there are two possible answers.” “ah fuck.”

turns out… a lot of the questions are like that..

you and josh just look at each other and groan, realizing you two have to redo the entire answer key

you call your friends to cancel your plans, saying you were stuck at school

joshua feels really bad so he reaches over to grab your stack of tests

“you can go if you want! i’ll finish it, no worries”

you shake your head, pulling out a box of red pens from your bag

“no thanks, my boyfriend would miss me” 

a confused josh: “no i wouldn’t?”

“… i was talking about peanut?” but you’re giggling because josh’s face is beet red at this point

joshua: “anyways, question 40 right?”

truth is, joshua has always found you cute and he liked the fact that when he teased you, you weren’t afraid to tease him back

he just felt.. really comfortable around you

and seeing you smile after he cracked a joke?? best thing in the world to him besides peanut

even when you roll your eyes at him, he thinks it’s so cute!!

cliché moment where you two reach for the answer key at the same time and your hands touch

but neither of you let go wow so cute and you guys kind of just !! grade tests in silence, holding hands

joshua’s the type to rub your the back of your hand with his thumb i’m lowkey crying thinking about it

anyways, you guys end up finishing grading and the sun is starting to set

josh realizes that you two spent the entire day stuck inside the office, so he offers to take you to the farmer’s market

but you don’t wanna be a bother or anything so you shake your head, “no it’s okay!!”

josh insists that he takes you, saying “i gotta take peanut on a walk, come on let’s go”

so you two go to the farmer’s market, the crowds starting to die down a little bit since it’s the end of the day

josh holds your hand and peanut’s leash in the other

peanut keeps dragging you guys to all the booths that sell homemade peanut butter and he’s never been happier, he keeps getting free samples and head scratches

you’re looking at a booth that sells homemade jewelry, think leather bracelets and dainty finger rings

“josh, what do you think about th-” you turn to your side, but josh and peanut are nowhere to be found

and you look through the crowds and the booths next to you, but you can’t find them anywhere

you kind of panic,, because you didn’t think josh was the type to ditch someone? on a date?

was this even a date you weren’t sure to be honest,, but still :( you were kind of upset 

but you finally see peanut dragging joshua back to you, a small bouquet of sunflowers in his hand

joshua’s cheeks and ears are tinged a slight pink when he gives the flowers to you, “i saw a stand selling these and they just looked really pretty, so i bought them for you”

and the flowers are so beautiful and your jaw literally aches from smiling so big and josh thinks you’re so beautiful!!

you two walk around a bit more, hand!! in!! hand!! 

josh: trying to pull peanut away from all the friendly people willing to give him free beef jerky

tired from all the walking, you two buy ice cream, sitting on a bench in front of the tiny shop

peanut eats josh’s ice cream when he’s not looking

josh: peanut what the fuck

you offer to buy him another one, but he shakes his head, taking the cone from your hand, biting into the soft pink scoop

“let’s just share, strawberry is my second favorite anyways”

your jaw just drops because,, who bites into ice cream?

but it’s cute, you two talk about how much you hate the professor and which students you think are annoying

you two don’t even realize how dark it is until you hear peanut snoring, curled up at the bottom of your feet

josh is the first to stand up, his hand reaching out to yours, “it’s getting a little late, i’ll take you home?”

and so that’s how you and joshua ended up at the front door of your apartment

your hand clutching the sunflowers, the other intertwined in his fingers

and when he leans in, you don’t hesitate to close the gap between you two

kissing joshua? definitely better than you expected, the taste of strawberry ice cream still slightly lingering on his lips

your lips move in perfect harmony with his, joshua placing his hand on the small of your back

as soon as you feel josh pull you in closer, you feel a... wet.. tongue on your foot? you both break away to find peanut,, asleep,, drooling,, on your toes

“damn it, peanut” josh groans as you giggle, resting your forehead against his

“i’ll see you on monday, yeah?” you grinned, kissing him on the cheek

"yeah i really,, gotta take this kiddo home,,” and he sighs, waking Big ol’ peanut up “but i had a lot of fun tonight, we should do it again sometime”

“as long as we don’t have to grade 600 midterms again, it’s a date”

the both of you blush because,, was this even a date??

yes, it was

but seriously, what a super cute start to your relationship with josh

you don’t even get mad when you find out it’s josh stealing all of your kit kats

he leaves a giant bag of them on your desk one day to make up for it

but also joshua is the Worst

joshua: “how does it feel to be dating the hot neuro TA on campus?”

you: “shut up before you become the hot single neuro TA”

sometimes josh stops by your class when you’re teaching to give you a kiss on your cheek before he goes to do research,,, embarrassing you in front of all your students (even though pda is probably something that shouldn’t be happening in front of them)

literally Everyone: “we fucking called it”

definitely still makes fun of you 24/7,, just with more kissing

friday nights with joshua: skimming academic papers and talking shit on faculty LOL

going to the farmer’s market becomes a weekly thing for you guys!! mainly because the peanut butter booth would be devastated if they didn’t get to see Mister peanut

sooo,, you may or may not have done it on your desk in the lab LOL

josh in lecture: hey i think you’re pretty cute, maybe we should get dinner tonight?

you: josh can you pls stop flirting with me on google docs you’re LAME

[jiwonsssi]

Characters: Eun Jiwon/'you';

Warnings: pure smut, what else would u expect from me.

His bed was the most comfortable bed you have ever happened to sleep in. And so even if you never started to live together and you had your own place to stay in, whenever he was leaving for more than a couple of days for shootings, you always came to here.

He gave you keys so you could take care of Lucy. You both knew this was completely not a reason; you missed him to death everytime and he loved coming back to someone waiting for him.

It's a win-win.

And so this time was no different; after you took Lucy for her evening walk and took a shower, you put on his shirt and underwear and finally bury yourself in his puffy cover and pillows.

That's the main reason you are here; it feels like Jiwon is all around you. Falling asleep here - almost perfect.

And waking up because you feel someone slowly kissing the back of your neck feels amazing. It really does. Until you feel the wave of panic washing over you; you fell asleep alone. And you surely closed the door and Lucy is silent and..

- It's me, - just the way the wave fell upon, it washed away and you realised you haven't been breathing. Jiwon stops, pulling away and you turn to lay on your back, watching him smiling gently, - Sorry.

He looks.. different. Usually he's playful and teasing, often irritated, but he's now so soft and serious. You smile, shaking your head as 'it's okay' and you just can't hide how hard you missed him, looking at him with all the love you can manage. It's been more than a week. And you can tell that's exactly why he feels so unusual; Jiwon missed you harder.

You turn around completely and he hovers on top of you, tossing the cover to the end of the bed. It's cold suddenly, yet no matter how cliche it is.. it's warm when he's around.

You feel his breath softly roaming on your lips, but he doesn't kiss you; his breath tingling on your skin, making you inhale shakily. He smiles, looking at you and touches the tip of your nose with his, making you giggle lightly. Jiwon touches your lips with his, but you, again, barely feel it. He's tender, painfully gentle with you and it makes your heart flatter wildly.

His kisses burn and melt you like you are under a fire everytime, but that.. you can't decide what's better.

You close your eyes, crossing fingers at the back of his neck, caressing long hair, answering him with the exact same manner. Jiwon is so calm, warm and.. comfortable? You can't describe the feeling; nobody can compare. And the thing is, you can never bear his gaze; always piercing and intense when he's turned on, yet now he looks at you with such a deep adoration and need. His look almost screams that 'I missed you' that he doesn't say out loud and you can't resist him; anything he wants - he will get it.

And more than ever, Jiwon wants your pleasure.

You feel his lips on your neck, the kiss is so light you barely can say when he parts, slowly getting lower. God, he can be so sinfully gentle when he wants to. You feel his hands everywhere at once, cupping your breast lightly under your shirt and the other caressing the skin just under the line of your underwear. While continuously showering you with soft butterfly kisses all around your neck. You grip on his hair slightly, shutting your eyes to not to at least see what he's doing. It's hilarious how he can make you halfawaken lost state be turned into.. this. In seconds.

Jiwon hugs your waist, helping you to get up a little to take your shirt off and you can't resist the urge to kiss him, holding onto his shoulders for dear life and.. kissing, to be honest, with the exact same emotion. He smiles with that damned gentle small smile when you part away from him, falling on your pillow, not being able to hold on anymore. Because you can't even breath properly after just one kiss. Deep, sensual and full of desire kiss. He manages to make a mess out of you everytime it happens and you are still surprised.

- What'd you want, baby? - Jiwon leaves a small gentle peck on your lips and you feel a wave of warmth spreading in your body, making your shiver, - What you want?

You moan and he smiles again, leaving a trail of small kisses along your jawline.

It's impossible to ask or to say what you really want him to do; it's not about being shy or not open enough when it comes to sex, it's just.. isn't it.. And Jiwon sees that mixed confusion on your face, kissing your lower lip, never breaking eye contact.

- Just tell me, - feeling how he massages your nipples, you let out a shaky quite moan, going through his long hair to pull him with it down your body.

You won't be able to tell him. At least not now and God knows it's not the first time you imagine him being between your legs but surely the first one when it actually is about to happen.

He didn't even flinch, like he already was planning on it (because he did) and you meowl barely audible again when he blows at one of the wet traces from his lips, cupping your breasts firmly. You pull on his shoulders, whining softly when he circles your navel with his tongue. Feels breathtaking already and you still have your underwear on. And he's fully, goddammit, clothed.

Jiwon sit on his knees, looking you straight in the eyes and the look is so.. gentle. Again. He takes off your underwear slowly, making sure to follow the material with his hands, caressing your legs from tights to ankles. He loves the way your body reacts on him; whatever he does, you are all into him. Even now you move closely to him, feeling how your heart pounds rapidly. Your love for him too addictive; it's pretty much the main reason.

And that's why your whole body trembles with sweet anticipation, you shiver at every his touch and he kisses your knee, finally finishing admiring you. You touch his messy hair, smiling when he looks at you going down with small kisses on your thigh.

You look away and Jiwon hugs your legs, trapping you in his arms and you palm his hair, when he leaves a kiss just below your navel; you push him down, not being able to control and he does what you asked for, spreading you with his fingers, to gently kiss already sensitive skin, making you roll your eyes and push yourself into him unconsciously. You whine not so softly now at the feeling of his hot tongue on your skin and how passionately he does it; Jiwon combines everything, from small gentle butterfly kisses that makes you squirm impatiently to hungry devouring sucking that makes you go completely crazy. Nothing in your mind but his moves; Jiwon doesn't touch you with his fingers, just his tongue and lips, and it is so fucking good. It's so enough. You brush his hair when he parts a little, giving you just a moment to catch a breath and the way he licks his lips, looking at you and that shameless smirk on his face.. you just can't look at him. You might even be blushing. God. And when you look away, he buries his head between your legs again, pressuring over sensitive clit with his tongue, making you whine helplessly all over again.

You can't see him, but you can bet he has that smug smirk on his face. He loves what he does and it makes it one hundred times better.

You moan loudly at this point, giving zero fucks about.. everything, basically, and with every sound you make, he builds up his pace. You can't even control your body, everything is blurry and Jiwon holds your thighs firmly, not giving you a chance to move.

But God everything you want is to be closer. You grip his hair everytime Jiwon does something different and.. you always knew he's the best you've ever kissed. You lowkey knew he's that skilled when it comes to this.

It doesn't take much time before you feel how everything fades, leaving you only the strong sensation of his mouth devouring you; the hardest orgasm you have ever had hits with such a force, you forget how to inhale for a moment. And he guides you through it, only slowing down when he feels how you relax. Jiwon kisses oversensetive skin again, and again and fucking again and you jerk a little from him, whining, because you are literally not able to form your complaint.

Jiwon crawls back on top of you and now.. it's The Jiwon you know. If you didn't know him better, you might have thought that it's curiosity that sparks in the way he looks at you. He's not blind and he should see in the total mess that he did put of you, an answer for his silent 'how was it?' question.

You put both of your arms on his neck, dragging him closer for a kiss and now the knowledge about what exactly he does ten times better than kissing, makes your head spin.

You will never let this slide.

- Good morning, - you whisper in his lips and kiss him again, stroking his hair slowly. He does that mind blowing 'uhm' face and.. thanks God you are barely alive to die anyway.

- I missed you, - it's your turn to smile and you nod slowly, grabbing his tshirt from the back to help him take it off. He looks at you fakely shocked and you shrug, hugging his waist with your ankles.

- I won't be able to sleep anyway, - now it's your turn to smirk and you slowly guide your hand down his torso, watching his pupils delaying right away.

You might as well think that he must be away more often if it means.. this treatment.

As well as you never want him to go away.

[finderskeepersff]

31.

It’s showtime, I am so glad they have all gone. I can do my own thing, I wish I could just be here and have some peace and quiet but no, I can now leave and do my own thing. I can sort shit out, start production again. Start dealing differently, it’s exciting but stressful. As soon as I land in New York I’m going straight to the guy so I can get that done with, then see Ethan, hopefully meet up with my mom. So many things to do “I packed your things in the duffel bag” Sofia said behind me “an all black suit?” Turning to Sofia pulling at my sleeves “well yes, I mean this is Kyle’ idea. But do I look nice?” Sofia placed the duffel bag down “you do, where is your tie?” I pointed to the vanity table “that is mine, what I tell you about placing your things on there” I grinned, Sofia is not having a mental breakdown which is a blessing but she is hiding it “you don’t mind it really” Sofia pulled my collars up “perhaps, I hate this. But anyways, you have to go or whatever. I’m just going to get some ideas for the wedding and then baby room, I am busy I guess” I’m glad she is making herself busy “also, the car. I will get you insured on it. I’ll do it while on the jet, I’ll text you when I have done it. If anything happens to me then least you can drive it and have rights to it” I was thinking hard on that “awww baby, thank you. But what jet? I hope you ain’t paying out?” Shaking my head “the guy I am dealing with did, I think I will be able to get there more low-key too, he has a private-hanger so it’s good, easier too. See he can do that, he’s a business man. I have a good feeling about this. We need someone legit, but we need to be lowkey on the meet ups” I think it will work out anyways.

“Did you all purposely dress like this?” Sofia said, I had to laugh because this is Kyle’ fault he wanted this and look at that. I mean it does look good but we do look like some mafia shit, Kyle wants us to all to look good but we do “erm, Kyle’ fault” I pointed at him “mhmm, I am not liking this at all Cassius” Sofia hasn’t cried that I am going so this is a bonus “boys, meet me outside” I want to speak to Sofia alone “if you say, did Sofia pack the teddy bear?” mean mugging Myles “I packed that” I lied “you a damn lie, this is too heavy for you to do such a thing. Sofia, did you put his bottles in here too” Kyle and Myles both laughed “I will shoot you both while in New York, don’t fucking piss me off” hearing Sofia giggle “leave him alone, he can’t help but latch onto me” frowning at Sofia “are you joining them fools? The last time I show you my feelings” kissing my teeth, the door closed finally “stop it, I love it. You know I do” I sighed out “I know, just be safe ok? I got Gummy Bear with me” pulling the picture out from my overcoat pocket “awww the scan picture” Sofia cooed out “my protector and saviour I call Gummy Bear, and I got you on my lock screen phone” grabbing my phone and turning it to Sofia, she pouted her lips at me “I love you so much Cassius, I am not going to cry because you will be back. I believe you, I am just you know kind of upset you are going though” biting on my bottom lip staring at Sofia, look at her being strong “I appreciate you Sofia, there is nothing to be worried about. I will be back” placing my hands at the side of Sofia’ face “I love you” pressing a kiss to her lips and then hugged her “I love you too Cassius” I will miss her so much.

I have never been on a jet before, this is a different experience to me. It’s luxury, it’s less headache with the law but not something I would pay out for “Cassius” Myles said my name, looking away from my phone and at Myles “aye!” I said smiling as he took a picture of me “what are you doing?” I questioned “Sofia follows me on Insta and was like where is my man?” pulling a face “y’all and this social media thing, tell Sofia to stop being nosey and stop posting shit ok? Stop being dumb” why show off, that gets you in trouble. The police can never catch me on that because I am not fancy, I don’t have big things that they can question me on “Raphael said he has a car waiting for us at LaGuardia, Ethan should be on there. He is meeting us at the Clover Club. Things should be smoothly but you know he may have people around” I shrugged “Kyle, that doesn’t bother me. This guy needs to understand I don’t need him, he needs me. Don’t panic when I start saying things, decline the car. I will get my own” I do need this guy but I want him to know he does need me.

Just like clockwork, the Range is waiting for us “Ethan” dapping him “Cassius, welcome back. Good seeing you” he opened the Range Rover door for me, getting inside the car. I am not stupid, this car business I rather get myelf because I don’t trust like that. The door closed on me, I am really just wanting to get this over with. I will also be seeing my mom and Bryce, I miss him and she said she will drive to Kyle’ parents house which will be good, Bryce is now with us, he is my family “Ethan talking about good to be back but I don’t feel that it is good, I just want to be with my wife now” I said to Myles as he got into the car “I know, we all do but we doing this. We are getting this done for the future, we agreed to not rush this. The big boss of Brooklyn is back” I feel like I should say it’s good to be back but it’s never good to be back, something is always wrong. I am very nervous about this meet, it can go either of two ways, good or bad. Unlocking my phone and texting Sofia.

To: Sofia

From: Cassius

I have landed, love you and you are now insured on the car!

Pressing send on the message, you never know in life so I just wanted to tell her that. Sofia would never let my soul rest if I don’t marry her before I die, but let me not think negatively.

Ethan parked infront of the Clover Club, the place is closed I mean as it would be. A guy in a suit is outside, reading a newspaper but he is not just any man, he is something else. Ethan quickly opened the car door for me, getting out of the car. The guy with the newspaper closed the passer and looked at me, he didn’t say a word as I walked closer to the place. He opened the front door for me, see I knew it. This guy wouldn’t just stand here for nothing and there you have it, looking behind me seeing Myles and Kyle running towards me. Walking into the club, the workers looked up at me, watching them stacking the glasses up, cleaning the place up “follow me” another guy walked ahead of me, the workers don’t seem fazed at all. They didn’t care, they just continued to work.

Getting to the top of the steps, there is only two rooms. I assume the room with the two guys outside is where Raphael is “just walk ahead” I guess it is really showtime now, one of the guys opened the door for me, this guy is not a big time dealer here but I think he is elsewhere “bring him in” his english is not as good “arms up” this big guy stood infront of me “I mean if you must” lifting my arms up “precaution Cassius, we don’t want you to start shooting now” I had to laugh “I could have took you out a year ago, I didn’t” the big guy took my guns from me “you can have them back after, you two” he pointed at Kyle and Myles “take a seat” he pointed at the seat infront of his desk, this half naked girl got off of the desk as he snorted a line. See, the wrong thing you do in life is take your own stuff “I don’t mean to tell you how to run things, you seem a guy that knows but having your own supply is never good” I sat down, he inhaled deeply “I can now talk business, take this shit away from me” he said to the female, rubbing my chin thinking if this is a good idea.

Raphael sat back in his chair “your people contacted me” he said, nodding my head “I have known about you for a while, you have stepped on my people’ dealings. It’s me that stopped them, I said he is small fish” he didn’t like what I said, squinting his eyes at me “I am no small fish, in France I run it” licking my lips “this ain’t France, you stepping on my territory. Get that right, it’s me that has you here still” I pointed at him “I could kill you right now, you have no gun” I shrugged “kill me, you see what happens. Didn’t you see what happend when I left the streets, when I had someone else running it. You know the bloodshed, you tell me this. You kill me, there will be people outside your club that will burn it. I don’t want to come across as I want payment from you for protection, I have not come for that” Raphael sat back in his seat “you came into my club, I remember. You sat with a female here, I thought they was all in it together and you was coming to get me but you didn’t, I don’t understand why not?” I chuckled “because I still make money, you are a small number to me. Now in France you can be big but here no. I am here because I want us to come together. I want to use your business name, I don’t want to be a name partner but in the background. Think of it this way, we can take on Atlanta. What you make now, we can make more. I just need your business. You need me and I need you. What you have business wise I need, together we can be big. Think about it” Raphael looked behind me “I have heard things about you, you got your own brother locked away. So why not me?” taking in a deep breath “I take out the bad, my brother got me locked up. It’s what he deserves, you said it yourself, why haven’t I taken you out, why hasn’t anyone else done it? Because of me!” I shouted, he needs to understand I run this shit.

Taking in a deep breath “you’re a well known guy in a good way, me not so. I had to do it the hard way, you do it the way of business and I wish I could that but no. I will offer this to you. I will pay for the club in Atlanta, big opening. Loads of drugs being sold, protection here. The drugs we sell collectively will be clean through this business, I don’t want any say on the business side. I just need to use it, I am funding it. You step into my world, I step into yours. We can rule it all” if he shoots me now, least I got engaged “get this man a drink” Raphael said “you don’t believe I am big in France, you come France and I will show you. I did research on you, they say don’t play with you because you too big. I see you and you are a skinny man” I had to laugh “I am, you ain’t lying. I ain’t saying you not Raphael, but think about it. I have another person on the line if you don’t but don’t ever say I didn’t ask” I lied, I had to lie “you stopped dealing things, why?” shifting in my seat “because I want the streets scared, and they are. I am coming back but bigger and hopefully with a partner” Raphael got up from his chair “you make big money here, we can make big money together. I deal with high end people, so do you. We can do it together” he is liking it “I think about it, can I?” nodding my head “you can by all means, I am not here for long and just remember” getting up from the seat “if I can get my own brother locked away every one of you in this room can be gone, this is me being nice. I have been nice to you for too long now but, talk soon. Ethan will be in contact, I would think wisely Raphel” making my way out.

At the bottom of the steps turning to see Myles and Kyle walking down, they nodded their head at me “your guns” turning to the guy that just said that to me, I had to double take. Staring at this guy’ face, he just eye balled me “uh yeah” I said, taking one of the guns from him just staring at his face. Sofia has her mom’ eyes but this face, no way this face. This face I see every waking moment, that face “sorry” placing my first gun in the holder, he is a middle aged man, like he’s been through it. That nose, like that nose is different, this guy. Taking my second gun from him walking off, that is mind blowing. I can’t even think what the hell I just spoke to Raphael about now because look at that, I mean come on that can’t be her dad. She did say he did bad things but she don’t know much about him but that has to be him, I can’t be sure but that is wild. I wonder if Sofia took Grace’ last name, I mean are they all Bundy, how could I even figure that out.

Staring out of the car window “you know…” I dragged “I know” Myles said, turning in my seat looking in the back seat “that guy looked like Sofia, I mean a male version. I saw it myself” thank god I am not the only one “I thought I was being dramatic but have you ever see this guy before? I mean I don’t know, I ain’t saying shit. Like that is sensitive but that does look like her” shaking my head in shock “genes strong as fuck, besides the eyes. That is weird Cassius” I am interested to know though “I am not touching that, if Sofia finds out she will not allow this to happen, like I am staying away from it” I just find that shit mind blowing.

[bearxclaws-archive-blog]

Arc Headcanons // PRE-SKIP PT.2

Flings more random thoughts and headcanons onto the dash! Heading into Water 7~ And again, there may will be hints of Sanji x Anita ‘cause I’m still as trashy as last time. Long af. Congrats if you get through any of it.

WATER 7 / ENIES LOBBY

— Arc Outfit

— Anita immediately takes to how odd Chimney is, showing off her incredibly soft side for children. Likely pays no attention to what Kokoro and the rest of the crew are saying because she’s too busy showing off for Chimney and Gonbe.

— Back on the ship           Anita: ................. Wait where are we going?           Nami: You listen about as well as Luffy does.           Anita: Thank you.

— She hasn’t been with Merry for very long, but she is the first ship Anita’s any time on. There is an attachment there despite only being with the crew for a few months. Almost wishes Gus ( the half-giant back home ) was with them. He wasn’t a great carpenter, but he was pretty damn good considering he had to fix most of the broken equipment on his own.

— Anita leaves the ship at the same time as Robin and Chopper but doesn’t go with them. As much as she liked spending time with them all, she kind of wants to find where she can get those cool masks she finds some of the people wearing. Ends up buying one that looks like a bear. Adds it to her keepsake box later.

— Runs into Sanji while wearing it, attempts to amuse him but sees he’s a little perturbed. Since she isn’t super close to Robin, she doesn’t share his unease once they find Chopper alone. She assumed Robin’s just off doing her own thing. At this point, she only sees Robin as an aloof mother figure. She’s, at least, a smidgen better than her own mother. Doesn’t dislike her, but doesn’t feel particularly close to her.

— She messes around with Usopp enough that she too is worried about what his reaction might be to hearing Merry is beyond repair. She’s heard plenty of his stories about home and Kaya and continues to ask to hear about them, so a small part of her feels worry settle in her stomach.

— Doesn’t help to find him, however. She stays on the ship with Nami to protect the remainder of their money.

— The argument between Luffy and Usopp does rattle her quite a bit because she thought she was the only one that felt useless. She would have never guessed that Usopp did too. Recalling how determined Luffy had been to get his friends back on Anita’s home island, it’s worrying for her to see him getting physical with a member of his crew. She hasn’t witnesses any sort of discord between them before now, save for maybe Sanji and Zoro but even then she’s quickly realized that they just behave that way. Seeing their cook actually kick Luffy doesn’t make it better, and — in a rare display of fear — she’ll shrink into a corner and watch.

— After her ringleader died and someone she thought was a friend betrayed them, the thought of abandonment terrifies her. Watching Usopp leave hurts. She’s one of the ones begging him to come back.

— It’s a habit of hers to shut down when she’s upset. She does and says nothing. Just sits on deck with her legs between Merry’s railing and looking out in the direction Usopp walked off in. She doesn’t know why this is having such an effect on her. People have come and gone from the circus more than a handful of times, and it’s never had her this upset. Doesn’t realize she’s becoming extremely attached to the crew.

— Losing Merry and Usopp is the first time she cries in years, if it can be counted as crying. There’s no sobbing or rolling tears, but she’s distressed to the point that she’s got a heavy knot in her throat and her eyes are wet.

— Even though she seems to be reluctant to do much, Sanji asks her if she’ll come along with him and Chopper after Zoro refuses. She doesn’t really want to, but he makes a valid argument that a reindeer and bear nose together are better than his.

— Anita isn’t the type to be subtle, so she intends to march right up to Usopp and tell him about Aqua Laguna because they seems like the smartest isea, but Sanji and Chopper insist they have to be sneaky about it. Shouting ‘off-handedly’ about it while being near Merry is totally sneaky.  .  .

— Anita’s still numb from witnessing Usopp’s resignation from the crew and, somehow, isn’t surprised to find out that Robin plans on leaving too. She doesn’t shout and attempt to get to her like Chopper and Usopp too, but her ears are back and she’s shaking while in her bear form.

— When Sanji tells her and Chopper to find Luffy, Chopper’s the first to go. Anita hesitates and presses her gigantic bear head against his chest. Lets out little huffs and makes him promise he’ll be alright. Losing three crew mates is hard enough, and she openly worries for the first time that he’ll end up lost too if he goes off on his own. All she needs it a few scratches behind the ear and an honest promise, and she’ll go.

— Zoro using the back of his blades is like Anita swatting at people with the back of her paws. Still hurts like hell despite their intentions.

— Compared to other zoan users, Anita feels inferior because he hasn’t made an attempt at her hybrid form. She has her human form and her full-beast form, and that’s it. She’s capable of it, but lacks the confidence and knowledge. So knowing Chopper can take on multiple forms and seeing how strong Lucci is as a zoan is a huge blow to her confidence.

— Iceburg’s manor being on fire causes panic in Anita and it’s harder for her to escape. It might take Chopper headbutting some sense into her before she ends up outside.

— Despite not being close to Robin, Anita is relieved that she didn’t leave them because she dislike them.

— She doesn’t go to save either Luffy or Zoro knowing Nami and Chopper have it handled, but laughs plenty knowing they were stuck. 

— Anita is already aware of Impel Down. Whether or not he had the actual authority to, Ashikaga often threatened to send people to Impel Down for obstruction of justice if they tried to help targeted pirates or stop the Marines from capturing them.

— Nami makes sure to get extra meat so Anita has something to eat alongside Luffy’s portion and Zoro’s sake. Gets her plenty of fruit too. Anita’s kind of surprised Nami remembered that she liked fruit so much.

— Second Outfit ( after they change on train ) Anita’s stubbornness with clothes is different in this verse than it is her main one because Nami is there to help her lighten up a bit and wear slightly more colorful / feminine things without making her feel overly girlie. Still has a tomboy look. Doesn’t think she looks cute, but she does.

— Anita is lowkey relieved to hear Sanji is alright. Shh. His scent from when she nudged her head against him still lingers and it’s giving her dokis. GDI.

— Dumb as she can be, she knows Sogeking is Usopp. Might ask for an autograph too just to be a smart-ass. If she gets one, it’s going right into her keepsake box.

— All I can see after Rocket Man crashes and Sanji and Zoro beat some of the Marines is Anita literally chewing on one of the Marines they defeated like they’re a toy.

— She hates Enies Lobby. Too many Marines, too involved with the Government. Her bias is showing and she sort of hates that Zoro, Luffy and Sanji are so strong. She wants to fight some of them herself purely because she’s loathes them.

— The situations are completely different, but there is one common theme between Anita and Robin; Marines ruined their home. If she ever finds any of this out, she’ll feel significantly closer to Robin and at least attempt not to avoid her. I mean, over time she’ll start to feel closer to her anyway, but knowing that would be like a short-cut to feeling more comfortable around her.

— The first time Anita sees fire destroy something in a beneficial way is when Luffy tells Usopp to burn the government flag. Still terrifies her, but she’s seen what she fears do something good.

— Everyone fighting to get Robin back learned something new with their combat abilities during this arc. I’m not entirely sure what Anita’s thing should be. All she does is fight in her bear mode, unless ( like Nami’s Clima-tact ) Usopp helped craft her those dial-gauntlets that she wears in her full-beast form. This might be her first chance to use them if she gets into more of a fight. Probably hurts like hell to use them, but they won’t hurt as much to a bear as they would a human. Helps knock people further / do a little more damage while being a tank.

I don’t want her to have a hybrid form because Chopper is already a hybrid for the most part. And most people don’t seem to use their full-beast form often. Not that I can remember, anyway. She’ll want to feel like she HAS to be like Lucci, Jabra and Kaku to be powerful like them, but she doesn’t. She’s plenty supportive and powerful in fights as she is. Plus, she gets stronger post-skip.

— Anita’s whole role in the fights with the keys is very minimal. I can’t have her take away any of the learning the Straw Hats do, so she might as well be trying to help Chopper calm down while not knowing just how much of a rampage he’s in. Or, to be grossly shippy, she could stay with Sanji when he’s bubbled up. At least until he was drenched and well enough to fight. She’s as confused by his code as Nami is and doesn’t reprimand her when she whacked him. She thinks it’s silly, but she doesn’t think he’s change who he is.

— If she manages to catch glimpses of Sanji’s new fighting style, a part of her will be slightly afraid of him. She knows for a fact that she would never use it on her because of who he is, but she won’t be able to fight near him. She will worry that her fur might catch fire if he’s too close. Doesn’t mean she’s always avoid him, but getting them to do any sort of combo together might be impossible if he intends to use Diable Jambe.

— Once Kokoro saves them all from drowning, Anita is absolutely going to collapse with Chopper and give him bear snuggles. Anyone that ever gets hurt gets a bear blanket / pillow. Robin gets a bear hug too. She’s gotta. Anita’s too much of a softie deep down to not be happy that she’s alright.

— Too much of a softie to not to get choked up during Merry’s funeral.

— Anita will be infinitely glad that they took all of their stuff off of Merry and that the people that took their stuff returned it to them. Her keepsake box is safe! 

— She won’t be the least bit happy to learn that her captain’s grandfather is a Marine, but even she can’t be suspicious because it’s blindly obvious Luffy doesn’t want to be like him.

— She may have a devil fruit and can’t swim because of it, but she will take an inner tube and use it in the pool. You cannot stop her!! Swimsuit 

— Anita get a bounty. She can’t be mistaken for a pet as easily as Chopper can, so she has a legitimate bounty. I’m just not sure how much it should be. She couldn’t do any real, significant fighting during Enies Lobby, so it might be less than Nami’s? She’ll have the second lowest bounty, Chopper’s being abysmal. But, at the same time, she’d be as ‘out there’ as the monster trio because tank. So would she be noticed more and seen as a threat? I honestly don’t know what the government would think of her. Aaah, I don’t know! I’m torn between it being either B 14,000,000 or B 17,000,000. Might need opinions on that.

— Her poster is probably of her bear form looking like it’s swiping at the camera. Probably actually hit the guy taking the picture too. Whoops. Did she have to pay for breaking it? Absolutely. Did she actually pay? Hell no. Nami would kill her for spending MORE money after the part drained them.

— Sanji, she secretly loves you, but she’s going to laugh at your poster. I think she’s always going to laugh at other peoples misfortune, but she doesn’t mean anything by it. He’ll get a little pat and she might let slip that she thinks he looks way better than the poster. Oops. What? Shh. No, she didn’t say that.

— She has no part in the mess with Franky’s briefs. No, thank you. Covers her eyes too because she’s shy about that sort of thing. Not a prude. Just inexperienced and unfamiliar. Plus, it’s Franky. She doesn’t wanna see his junk.

— Anita is one of the ones begging Luffy to let Usopp come back. She doesn’t quite see it the same way as Zoro does. People would leave and come back to the circus, and they’d welcome them back with open arms. It feels wrong to leave Usopp behind.

— She has no idea what to name the new ship but agrees with any of the names Luffy comes up with that has ‘bear’ in it. She’s biased. Likes Thousand Sunny, though.

— I should probably point out that Anita can drink as well as Nami and Zoro can. She’s an affectionate and silly drunk once she gets beyond being buzzed. Likes to lean on people and hug on them. 

[urbanmahogany]

The Attraction

Previous

It had been a few weeks since my fall out with Stefon and a lot of shit has happened in the short amount of time. Since that day Stef let Nikhol blatantly disrespect me and didn’t say a word, our encounters with each other had only gone downhill from there. I was stressed.. So stressed dealing with him. The constant arguing, the games, everything had me so fucked up and emotional. You know how sometimes when you’re in a relationship you feel like you might love the person more than they love you? That’s how I was feeling. I was trying to save our relationship but the effort was only coming from one side. He didn’t care, or at least he acted like he didn’t care.. And honestly that fucked me up more than anything. At that point I didn’t give a fuck if he addressed Nikhol or not anymore, I was stuck on the fact that when the going got tough, that nigga got going. All this bullshit with Stefon had me neglecting myself and my baby and it wasn’t until I woke up in a pool of blood that I decided to throw in the towel on this relationship. I called and called Stefon for DAYS trying to let him know what was going on with me. Countless texts and voice messages and I still got no response. Part of me began to panic, as I started to think maybe he was dead.. It wasn’t until I got a half ass text message two days later saying “damn” that I decided I was officially done with that nigga. 

My mother wasn’t having it anymore so she flew up to me that night I checked myself into the hospital and stayed until they released me. I had lost so much blood…and my baby, and between that and Stefon, I was an emotional wreck. My mother insisted that I come back to Miami and leave New York once and for all. Since I had gotten there, things weren’t going the way I thought they would. I couldn’t find a decent salon to hold a steady job at, I had no close friends and my “boyfriend” could honestly give a fuck. So I began to ask myself.. What the fuck am I really doing up here all the way away from my family, friends and my home? So I finally made up my mind and a few days later with the help of my mom, I had packed all my essential belongings and left with her back to Miami. I still had my apartment but I only had less than three months left on the lease. Eventually I’ll go back to get the rest of my shit but for now.. I’m back home with friends and family and where the sun never stops shining on my melanin kissed skin.

I ended up moving back in with my parents instead of getting another place on my own because I felt like it was the best place for me to be. And I’m glad I did because the depression was real. For like three weeks I was legit depressed. I hadn’t told Stefon that I left Brooklyn. I waited to see if he would have taken enough initiative to come see about me. For a week.. A whole fuckin week after I had told him I lost OUR baby, I didn’t hear a peep from him and he didn’t hear shit from me either. Finally that nigga got a clue and decided to do a pop up by my place because i finally stopped hitting his line. When he discovered the padlock on the door, he started blowing my shit up, talkin bout ‘where the fuck you at?’ and ‘why hasn’t a nigga heard from you?’ Like seriously?? I decided not to reply or call back because I knew me and I knew him. He would sweet talk my ass and there I’d go looking stupid running back to him. I’m not gonna lie, it was hard detoxing myself from him, but since I’ve done so, i’m feeling like me again. For almost a year I was with that nigga and he treated me like i wasn’t important to him, but I kept on loving him anyway and degrading myself and my worth. I saw clearly for the first time in a while. Being surrounded by my close friends and my parents things became a little easier each day and now I can say I’m finally coming out of this funk I had been in.

Today I was up and out of my room. My mom was happy to see me lounging on the couch watching old reality tv reruns like I used to. My mother had been my rock this whole time. Usually, she and I don’t see eye to eye, but she’s been there for me in ways I didn’t even know she was capable of being. I always been a daddy’s girl but as I’m getting older I’m finding out that my mom is clutch as fuck too. 

My dad had been out today with one of his work protégées whom I have yet to have met. I figured he’d be older like around my dad’s age since he was moving up so high in rank. My mother told me they would be stopping by the house so my dad could get his duffle bag and uniforms and get back up to the base for a couple of days. Being a military brat, I was used to not seeing my father for weeks at a time but this was the first time he had to leave since I had been back home and I honestly didn’t want him to go even for the four days.

I heard my dad’s car pull up in front of the house and two doors close. I saw the  shadows in the glass door as the locks turned. In stepped my dad and behind him was a tall, young, good looking man.

We made brief eye contact as he flashed his white smile in my direction. I smiled back and looked away. I was mad as hell at myself for looking like a potato sitting here hair all up in a messy bun with no makeup on, chillin in house clothes. I was also pissed because my mom had met this guy before and didn’t even give a bitch a warning. But I guess she figured I’d be too stuck on Stefon’s ass to notice anyone else. And I think she was just happy that today was a better day for me and didn’t want to ruin it by suggesting I get dressed. I could feel his eyes on me as he walked by and I tried to be coy and keep my eyes on the tv but lowkey, I was checking mans out too. My mom had walked out the kitchen where she had been drinking afternoon tea and catching up on her magazines.

Dad and his protégée walked toward my mother who was standing to greet the gentleman. “Cameron right?” She asked pointing and smiling in his direction. He laughed “Yes ma'am. You have a good memory Mrs. Brooks.” “I never forget a face. It’s nice to see you again. How are things going? I trust Clyde is training you well?”

“Oh yeah. He is. Best  Senior CPO I’ve worked under so far. Its an honor to be trained by him.” He answered speaking so eloquently.

As they all stood there making small talk I tried to hurry upstairs without being noticed but of course that wouldn’t happen, not with Dianne Brooks standing there at least.

“Kala, why don’t you come over and say hi.” my mother motioned to me as Cameron’s eyes turned to my direction. 

For a second I stood there frozen and grilled my mom with my eyes but walked over not wanting to appear rude. I was uncomfortable standing there in faded house clothes and looking like i had just rolled out of bed. I stuck my hand out to shake his formally introducing myself. He smiled and licked his lips as he subtly looked me up and down, obviously liking what he saw. Now I’m not gon fuckin lie, that shit right there had me geeked and now he had my attention.

The rest of the conversation, I was physically present but my mind was absent. I couldn’t help but stare at him as he spoke with my parents. He was dreamy af and all i could do was picture how good i bet he looked in his uniform.  He was just my type too. Tall, clean cut, gorgeous smile, could dress, well spoken, had a LEGIT job. ughhh! I was ready to jump on him right there. He knew he had my attention too because in between the chatter he’d look in my direction and do this thing he did with his jaw. You know when niggas bite down and it flexes the jawline making that shit pop out  😍 😍 😍.

My dad ran to get his things as my mother and I continued to chat with Cameron. It was small talk coming out our mouths but he and I were having a much deeper conversation with our body language and eyes. I know I had just got out of a relationship, but I love to flirt. And i can’t lie, it felt good to be noticed and wanted. Even if I never saw this man again, it made me feel better to know that I still had it. It was the confidence boost I needed and i finally realized that I made the right decision leaving that bum ass nigga alone. I hate to say something so cliche but there are so many fish in the sea and I was limiting myself being with someone who didn’t appreciate me.

 By the end of our encounter, my dad came back as we wrapped the conversation up saying our goodbyes. My mother asked the question I was dying to ask but didn’t because I didn’t want to seem too forward. 

“So Cameron, will we see you again?” she asked

“Uh, Hopefully so. Maybe if Officer Brooks invites me back over.” he laughed looking over at my Dad. 

“Oh yeah man, of course. You’re welcome here anytime.” My dad answered patting him on his back. “Alright Honey, we’re gonna head out. We gotta go if we’re gonna make it on time.” he spoke again hugging my mother and kissing her on her forehead. 

I hugged my dad and let him go as my mother hugged Cameron. When it came to me, Cameron gave me a one-sided hug. He was taller than I realized as he stood closer towering over me. When we hugged all i could smell was his tantalizing cologne. His hug was tight and I didn’t want him to let me go.

When I got back to my room, all i could do was reminisce about his fine ass and our flirtations. It made me blush a little bit not gon lie but i said to myself, the next time i see this dude, imma be on point. My granny’s words rang in my head, “the best way to get over a old nigga is to get a new one” and trust, I was finna get mine. 

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