#still i don't think i have seen weird al say shit

[watermelonstick]

weird al never swear

french weird al :

[27spoons]

CRUSH | NATALIE'S INTERLUDE ONE

pairing: natalie scatorccio/fem!reader

summary: Natalie just convinced you to attend a party. She honestly didn't expect you to say yes. She mentions it to a friend at practice.

wc: 920

warnings: none

a/n: pre/no-crash lottie was an awkward loner but everyone knew who she was. u arent changing my mind sorry its canon now (sorry for repost forgot to add like a chunk)

ao3 / masterlist

PREVIOUS - ACT ONE: DO I WANNA KNOW?

NEXT - ACT TWO: RIBS

NATALIE

"Hell yeah, you will. Maybe I'll even convince you to crack a beer or two. Smoke a cigarette. Real delinquent shit." Nat laughs at that as she begins walking off toward the gym, "See you tonight, Princess!" She calls from over her shoulder, "I'll text you the address!"

In her most calm and collected saunter, she walks out of your view before vanishing behind a wall and immediately letting a tiny, satisfied grin appear on her face.

I didn't think she'd actually say yes. Nat thinks to herself as she walks a familiar path to the locker rooms. I didn't think she did anything besides stuff her nose inside a textbook for fun… 

The blonde grins wider at her inner dialogue—because she'll be damned if she's not constantly the funniest person (aside from Van) in the room. 

It's only when she's opening her gym locker that she realises she's still smiling, which draws a specific teammate's attention, one with a mess of wavy black hair and a narrowed glare, "Why are you smiling?" Comes the voice of a certain Charlotte Matthews—Wisaykok's High School resident "popular loner".

"Not allowed to smile?" Nat quips back, slightly flustered. She was caught grinning like a dumbass. "Or am I only allowed to smile when drugs are involved?" She cringes to herself at the sharp comment because she doesn't even know what the hell possessed her to say that. She knows Lottie didn't mean it like that.

And Lottie knows Nat knows that. "That wasn't what I meant." A slight frown graces the taller girl's features, and she gives a barely perceptible shrug, "Just don't see you smiling like that often."

Now Nat feels terrible. "No…" She sighs, running a thumb over her eyebrow, "It's… I know you didn't mean it like that. It's…" The girl sighs and returns the shrug, clearly her way of an apology. "Didn't mean to snap at you. Not used to people being actually curious."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Lottie murmurs back, having seen her own share of cruel comments over the years about her behaviour. 

An awkward silence passes over the pair as Natalie grabs her cleats and shin guards from her locker before the blonde finally decides to break the tense atmosphere, "Just… invited someone to the party tonight." She shrugs, trying to act like her face didn't begin burning at the admission. 

Lottie notices it, unfortunately for Nat. "Seriously? Someone other than your usual crowd?" She pushes herself off the locker, "Who? Anyone I—"

"Nope!" Nat cuts her off, closing the locker too loud to play it off as anything other than her being flustered. "No one you know."

"Does he go to another school?" Lottie rolls her eyes, "Come on. Give me something."

"She," Nat clarifies, "goes to this school."

The olive-skinned girl's eyes widen in slight shock, "She? I thought you said—"

"I know what I said." Nat snaps as she sits down on a bench with a huff, "I dunno. There's just…" A frown appears, then vanishes just as quickly as it came, "Something about her. I wouldn't say she's… cool…" The blonde waves one hand as the other slides her shin guard on, "But she's… different."

"Different, how?"

Nat shrugs as she puts her other guard on, "I don't think she gives a fuck about what the rumours say, for starters." This is obviously something that weighs heavily on her, based on how her tone quiets at the words. "I mean, yeah, she's mentioned it a few times, but it'd honestly be weird if she didn't, y'know? It'd be like…" Nat hesitates, thinking of a good analogy that would describe the situation best, "Meeting Al Capone and not asking about all the shit he did during Prohibition."   

A beat.

"Did you seriously just compare yourself to Al Capone, Natalie?"

The groan that's pulled from Natalie's throat might be the most grouchy sound she's made in her life thus far. "That was not what I meant, and you know it." 

She finishes tying her cleats and stands up, walking out to the field alongside Lottie, "I just meant… I'd probably ask questions about me, too. Ninety-nine percent of the population only knows the fucking rumours." 

Nat huffs and crosses her arms, then forms a deep scowl when she sees some kid with a camera walking out to talk with Coach Martinez. "And now we need to take fucking team photos. Are you shitting me? They couldn't wait until soccer season starts? Had to do it when we're just running practices?"

Lottie rolls her eyes and grins faintly at Nat's annoyance, "You know you'd complain about it if it was during the regular season, right?"

A sharp elbow to Lottie's side, earning a choked laugh from the taller girl as Nat mutters a curse under her breath, "Not the point." 

When Lottie recovers, she gives Nat's shoulder a short push and nods her head towards where the team has started gathering, "For the record, we'll be talking about this later."

"No, we won't." Nat immediately replies in an irritable mutter, "We will never talk about this again."

"Mhm, whatever you say, Crash."

"And I told you to stop calling me that. It was one time!" Nat shoves at Lottie, but it's hard to fight the way her mood has shifted for the better at the teasing. This, at least, is familiar territory. 

"One time too many, Crash."

"I hate you."

"Sure. You're standing next to me, by the way."

"...fine."

a/n: by the end of this fic i promise i'll learn something about soccer

[androdetective]

As a poc, I have a complicated relationship to vbros. On one hand, the world is really immersive and the characters can be really great, on the other hand it is a very white show and has a racism problem. Many of the white characters have done racist things when characters have gotten punished or killed for less. There's also barely any side characters of color. And even then, many jokes get made at them regarding their races, because they're not seen as the norm. Also because it's an adult swim show made by white guys.

Off the top of my head, there are 4 side characters of color (Orpheus, Jefferson, Kano, and Dr Z). If we want to be generous, we could include Al. Maybe even Triana with her being biracial, albeit entirely passing as white. Even with those characters, Orpheus became whitewashed over the years.

However, ironically enough, he's the best written character of color. He's a very nice, multifaceted character. He's even become a fan favorite. He's also had no racist comments made towards him in the show. Which was a pleasant surprise. Especially since he lived on the compound with Rusty of all people. As happy as I am with that, it feels off because why did they spare only him but not others? I'm not sure if his race was ever figured out as the writers. It never got brought up, unlike other characters. I won't lie, that gives me a feeling they didn't write him as a brown man in mind. If they did write him with that in mind, he probably would've been written worse. It feels like they could only relate to him and made his character good by thinking he's white like them. Hell, they even projected their weird breakup feelings onto him.

With Jefferson, his character is a mixed bag. He's a cool character and very capable. He's a solid character, all things considered. It's just that he gets racist jokes thrown his way. And just, the show has one black side character, and they can't even act right. Why is racism, the hatred and otherness of one's entire existence, so funny. I noticed that each episode except one that he was in had at least one antiblack joke. That's an insane ratio. The worst joke was in the Halloween episode, where he was at the party. They specifically made his character open the door to a side character, red mantle, doing blackface. It was to make a shitty reference to some niche movie and just oh my god, can you stop being shitty white nerds for a second? People who think shit like this is funny makes me want to project years of racial trauma into their brains so that they could finally Get It. Again, this is the best black character they have, but they to make him go through cheap antiblack jokes.

At least with Kano and Dr Z their skin tones stopped being yellow. The other times we see characters of color are when they're background characters. They're either there to make a scene feel full or they're labor workers. The worst is when they were what I'd describe as background antagonists. One-off antagonists that aren't really villain villains. Moreso regular criminals. These tend to be depicted as black and latino. This was more common in early seasons and stopped happening over time. Which obviously great albeit bare fucking minimum, still doesn't change that it happened.

For a world that critiques the old mentalities from previous generations and even specifically denounces generational toxic masculinity. They don't say shit about the blatant racism of the Johnny Quest times they parody. And the times they try to, it's just showing racism and doing nothing about it. Princess Tinyfeet is the worst example of this. She's a blatant racial stereotype. Who for whatever reason, used to be married to Sgt Hatred, an American soldier. And Sgt Hatred is a whole can of worms.

With Dr Z who was apart of the Quest era, at least they tried to give him a character. The thing I will say is that he's voiced by a white guy (Publick) doing a stereotypical vaguely Eastern Asian accent. Something I wished when watching the show was for Dr Z to mention the old racist era he lived through, and maybe even how the present is still rough. The toxic masculinity of the era got mentioned, so why not that too. It would've been so obvious too.

I won't lie, a part of me is glad they didn't try to handle the racism because it would've been a horrible train wreck. I can get why they didn't delve too into it, they're white after all. I just wish there were more poc in the team and sensitivity writers because they were desperately needed. But for a show that can't even handle white women, I'm not surprised they can't handle people of color. For a show whose best thing they were able to tackle was toxic masculinity, I find it ironic how misogynistic they still were. Like quick, why were the side effects of misogyny that affect you 🫵 handled the best.

The thing is, if they did try to critique the racism, they'd alienate the audience, and it'd also be strangely hypocritical of them. Venture Bros'/Adult Swim's main audience is white cishet men. The ones least affected by bigotry. They're able to laugh at bigoted jokes, and they're the most marketable people. White guys will appeal to other white guys. In the early 2000s, white creators were able to get away with much more. Not because it was alright but because it was easier for them to shut down minorities calling them out. Despite how "normal" it was, that doesn't change how that fed into a very toxic, bigoted culture. Despite today still being hellish for minorities, it was even worse just a couple of years ago.

Venture Bros obviously did not invent racism/bigotry. The show is very much a product of their time and environment. And whenever I think about that, it feels draining. Especially having had to live through the 2000s. The show can be amazing when it wants to be. There's so much potential and a lot of charm and character. I really enjoy it, and that's why I'm so critical of it. Not only because I want it to be better but because I want something better for fans of color. We barely get anything, and the least we should get are characters that look like us and are respected. Just like their white counterparts. It's like, how am I supposed to feel when Sgt Hatred gets redeemed and made a main character before we got a character of color that didn't face racist jokes/got whitewashed. Or even before we got a female character whose existence didn't hinge on their relationship to a man. Obviously, the show doesn't hate people of color. They've tried to better over time, which again great. But it barely felt like they respected poc enough.

With the movie, despite its own problems (not helped by Adult Swim screwing them over), you could tell they were trying. And it was really appreciated. Jefferson had a big spotlight, and there weren't jokes against him. We even got to know a bit more about him. It was genuinely his best. Ignoring Orpheus still looking like he's in a perpetual state of winter, that aspect of the movie was alright.

I'm very glad to see fans who are critical of these aspects. It makes me more happy seeing them vouch for poc. However, there's still a large majority that ignores or even excuses the racism. Unsurprisingly, these tend to be the white dude bro fans. But I've seen even the more liberal fans excuse/ignore stuff. The fanbase is very white, just like a lot of other fanbases. I can get why a supportive white person feels they wouldn't be best to call out the show's shit. I just wish they'd mention it more with a simple "oh there's xyz in this episode and it wasn't alright." Something as simple as that carries a lot of power in very white environments. Also, of course, uplift other fans of color, especially when they talk about or face racism. Things as simple as that make me breathe sighs of relief. It personally encourages me to interact with communities more.

I'm unsure of how to close this off. This feels like a topic you could talk about all day. All I wish is for things to be better, you know? Hopefully this all makes sense. I just wrote shit off the top of my head. I'd love to hear thoughts expanding or adding on to stuff. Really hope this reaches the right people

[spideyhexx]

fem!reader saccharine

Billy knows your whole thing is being one big tease to him, to other too, but mostly him, and he is close to losing it.

He already had a rough morning after getting barely any sleep. Why, he wasn't sure, but the heaviness in his head was weighing down on his day from the very start. He forgot to pay the innkeeper, borrowing money from Jesse to pay off his room, but now he owed Jesse money. Billy planned on going to the saloon later that day to play poker, but he was dreading it. He knew his tiredness would make it harder for him to play and play well at that. Most of the gang left him alone, seeing the permanent furrow in his brow and the way his shirt wasn't even buttoned right, it was clear it was an off day for him.

But then there was you. You knew he was having a bad day, but you couldn't help it. You always teased him and he always bit back. Not as hard as you would hope, but the game was always a thing. You follow him around that day, having nothing of importance to do for yourself.

He thought it akin to a puppy following you around and every time he turned and saw your smiling face, he'd roll his eyes, his jaw clenching so tight, you were sure he was gonna break his teeth any minute.

"Bonney, do you think I'd look better with your hat?" You run up to catch up to him as he walks.

"No," he replies, his eyes looking anywhere but you.

"Really? Cause I was thinkin'-"

"Can you stop followin' me?" Billy interrupts, his gaze still ahead, so he misses your eye-roll.

"Listen, I have nothin' else to do so I-"

"Well, 'm goin' to take a piss, so I don't think you should follow me," he says, his tone sharp and he looks at you, giving you the quickest, fakest smile he could have. It only brightened your grin.

"Oh, c'mon, I'll just look the other way, I've been around you guys far too long to get weird about that," you tell him, and he seems to know it's the truth, he can’t fight it. He shakes his head. "Leave," and he points back to where his and your horses were.

You're not that easy. Billy knows it too, but he prays to God that you'll see how annoyed he is in this moment and how he wants his time alone. You poke his arm, then jab your elbow at him, "I think I'll stay with you, Bonney."

"I need-"

"I can keep quiet if that's what you really want, but I think it's best if I stick around, what if-"

"Will you just shut up?!" His voice raises, stilling his walking to turn fully towards you. Your eyes are widened a little, but you don't answer his question.

"There's no way in hell you can keep quiet, 'cause all you do is talk. You bother me so much like...," he trails off, then lets out a harsh chuckle, swallowing his words before he spits them out at you, "you're...you're like a pest. I don't get it one bit how anyone likes you. ‘M…’m done with it, I can’t I…you really are a fuckin’ pest.”

His words sink into you. It stings, though you know he's got merit to his words. That you shouldn't have bothered him as much as you were today, that you should have just left when he told you to, but you thought it as much a game as playing poker would be. But Billy is fuming. You can see the anger in his eyes, the way his words rolled harsh on his tongue, the only time you've heard him speak like that was to people the gang was rivaling.

It's hard to stop the tears from welling in your eyes. Your chest burns and you feel the familiar ache in your heart. You try to stop it, but you've never been very good at that. "Pest...okay. 'M sorry, Billy," you say, your voice breaking on his name as your tears start to stream, falling to your cheeks as you sniffle. Once it’s starts, you know you really can’t stop it. You turn your heel and walk away from him. Part of you didn't want him to see that side of you, but it was also too late. Billy's heart drops at the sight. His words echo in his own head, realizing how bad they sound. "Shit, wait," he says, but you keep walking.

Billy's shoulder slump. He's never seen you cry, let alone speak so quietly. He was beginning to think nothing ever upset you until now. He knows he lashed out, but he hopes you at the very least understand why he did. However, to him, he knows he shouldn't have said that. You're a piece of glue for the gang, even he could admit that. Your pure nature was friendly, he knows why people like you so much, but he still said what he said. He thinks about going after you, but he can't. His feet are stuck to the ground as he swallows the lump in his throat.

"Shit," he mumbles to himself, rubbing his hand over his face, pinching at the bridge of his nose.

let's chat about billy, here :)

[theloganator101]

Even thought the leaks of the RadioStatic SA turned out fake (thank GOD) it still makes me a bit uncomfy about what I saw- like it seems that both Alastor and Angel get onto shit with their respective Vee, and while I like this in theory since they are mean to be the major big bads of the season and what makes Val scary is his correlation to Angel, and what makes Vox interesting is his past with Al, the way it shows it looks like an...parallel?? literally HOW???

What Stayed Gone implied is that both Alastor and Vox were equals of some sorts- I mean both are powerful Overlords that deal with media, so they have quite the range- and overtime, Alastor surpassed Vox. So it would make sense that with Alastor weakened by what happened with Adam Vox would take the chance to surpass him- but overall, they are still very close to being on equal footing. Rivals in a sense.

One would have to be crazy, blind and deaf to believe that Angel and Valentino are under any capacity close to equals. They are slave and master and Angel is a regular sinner- he has to go around armed to the teeth, otherwise he is just a guy, while Val has his weird smoke magic and is able to toss Angel around with one arm like he is a ragdoll. Again, the power dynamics are clear as day- they even made Val visibly taller than Angel (who is already very tall himself) to make it as obvious as humanly possible.

Why, why is Alastor potrayed on the same level of vulnerability in front of his rival-ex-friend (lover?) as the sex trafficker and his favotire victim.

Maybe I am reading too much onto this and I KNOW that Vox can be as vile as Val (he literally has cameras on Angel's dressing room- he is complicit in what happens in that hellhole) but from a story POV, I am not a fan of how we are presenting our huge shady anti-villain character victimized by TWO characters and comparing his weird rivalry thing to Val/Angel of all things.

If they wanted a parallel they could have just a random scene of Al and Angel comically going full "man fuck that guy" on the TV when Vox and Val shows up- it would be in character since Al is so petty and dramatic and Angel downplays his horrible situation a lot.

I think it's meant to show or even imply that if it wasn't for Rosie gifting him power when he died, he would be just a regular sinner like Angel. That his staff held a majority of his power that without it, Vox could easily overpower him.

Which is still incredibly stupid given how much of Alastor's character and his role they bastardized from what we've seen of the true leaks!

And quite honestly, I would even go as far to say that we were kind of robbed of an Angel Dust/Alastor friendship. It would've been nice to see them bonding over how they hate Val and Vox, and it would give Angel someone to socialize with that doesn't involve anything sex related given Alastor's sexuality.

It is kind of weird that Alastor is gonna get captured unless Vox was able to catch him off guard, And there's still the fact that we don't know what they're gonna do with them.

Hopefully nothing too drastic...

[viskarenvisla]

Where the Shadows Lie: Chapter 1 - Incredible Weakness

The fox looked at me once again, narrowed its eyes and cocked its head. “[Carpe noctum, frater,]” it rumbled at me in a voice as deep as a sousaphone, before it stepped through the dresser doors. They slammed shut, catapulting the azure furniture back into the water.

Huh.

"So...you're not going to stick me in an institution, or tell the school I'm not fit for study, right?"

"No. I'm not going to do those things unless you tell me you're going to hurt someone or yourself...don't go getting any ideas."

"I'm not going to hurt anyone," I assured him.

The university psychologist wasn't exactly the kind of person I pictured when I made the appointment. I thought Shams al-Rashi would be a tweedly little fellow with a bushy moustache and a balding pate, scribing my madness on a notepad and reclining in a very specific kind of red armchair. I was right about the moustache, totally spot on actually - glorious, if I was being perfectly honest. Black, striped with white, it curled up at the ends under his hawk-beak nose. Doctor al-Rashi's face reminded me of a tall, blunt crystal struck from the earth and given form, as well as a perpetual glower. He was wearing a dark green blazer, piped with red...cheaply made, but his vermilion tie looked like hand-woven silk. 

His head was on fire; just the top, a nimbus of orange and white, replacing his hair.

"Then Mister Razansky I can promise you the whole point of this venture is to find constructive solutions that work for you and protect your academic performance." Instead of a little moleskine notebook or a boring notepad, a wafer-thin tablet glowed on the table before him. He twirled a stylus between his fingers. Shams wasn't sitting either, but instead standing at a podium while I reclined. I think some people would find it imposing or intimidating, but it felt like he was taking me seriously...no chance for him to zone out listening to my bullshit. 

I appreciated that sort of focus; if you’re gonna do a job, you damn well oughta do it right. "So..." he gestured to me with white-hot fingertips (how did he keep from burning everything?), "let's start basic. Have you ever seen a counselor before?"

"No. I never thought I'd need one, I never thought there'd be much of a point," I admitted cautiously. This was a big step for me, the notion of talking to someone who wasn’t Arryn was akin to joining a new religion. It was something you did with a quizzical heart, but a little apple-core of hope hidden away, all the same.

Movement outside the window was perpetually distracting for me; a few wild herons had landed outside at the edge of a green pond ringed with palm trees and ferns...glorious creatures. Beyond them, a trio of...women, I think, cavorted in the water; their skin was a mottled greenish color like a frog's, their hair like tendrils of swamp mandrake dangling down their spines. They looked to be quarreling over an eel.

Good lord…I still had no idea what they were. I glanced at Shams, at some girls on the basketball team passing by; were they seeing this shit?

The weirdness made my stomach twist. I remembered how one of those mandrake women had snatched a dog from its leash…just pulled it down under the water, turned it all bubbling and red with froth. Did they ever snatch people like that?

He dutifully recorded notes on his tablet, holding the pen from the end like a priest scribing a text. "Mmm. As men we are often told by other men to seek solace in our own strength, but only a strength they approve of; women often tell us to express, but in many cases they mean to express what they want to hear."

"The lady who raised me was pretty good letting me say my piece, but yeah she works for the Army...'strength comes from within', that kind of person." I never told Rachel about stuff like Doctor al-Rashi's partial state of immolation, or the frog-women bickering over the eel. Or about Tessa. "I guess this is different from what other people come in for."

"You'd be surprised at what I've heard," he assured me with cool sobriety. I could feel his eyes, like two little pinpoints of heat, tracing the shape of my eyes, the set of my facial muscles; reflexively oppositional, I tightened the screws on my poker face. I was a perfectly controlled feelings-machine; he’d see what I wanted him to see. 

Speaking of: "How would you describe your emotional state right now, sitting on that couch?"

Exhausted. Skittish. Low-scale aroused, almost all the time…something’s wrong with me.

"It's a comfortable couch," I demurred, patting the dark red cushion with a nod of approval. "I'm happy with the couch. I'm feeling stressed and unsure about my future, and tired." I swallowed dryly, watching him watching me; it felt like we were sizing each other up for a duel (and with what weapons, I wondered? He looked like a saber-and-shield type of guy, I was more of a pistols at dawn fellow).

"And...?" he gestured for me to continue…experienced shrink like him knew I’d be holding back.

"And, I'm...kinda scared, I guess. I feel like I'm being watched and followed." That part wasn’t easy to admit; how do you tell a stranger you’re afraid of something?

Doctor al-Rashi paused his scrawling, an eyebrow cropping up dramatically - weren't shrinks supposed to mask their responses?

"Do you feel unsafe?" he queried, setting the stylus down.

"I'm not sure." The admission came with some reticence because it sounded dull. "I feel a little...transgressed." And I did. Ashland was the kind of place where people talked, and because people were all about themselves, that talk could come back and bite you real fast. Real city of jackals.

"Is that what's been weighing most on your mind, or is there something else?" When he moved it sort of reminded me of fire passing between torches; a gait that at-once flickered yet also seemed to float. He poured a pot of spicy smelling, earthy tea and offered it to me on a coaster...I took some and sipped it out of politeness; piping hot, enough to scald the roof of my mouth and make my eyes water. Good tea though.

"Nngh...well, I guess there's kind of a lot going on." I paused to take a fake sip...how much would I reveal? He assured me he wasn't going to recommend me for institutionalization or take action unless I was a threat to myself or others, but when would he make that judgment? We'd keep it mundane, for now. "So, if you follow the news, President Parker sent out that EO that the International Humanitarian Reconstruction Bureau is losing its funding."

"It sounds like his style of slash-and-burn, yes." Doctor al-Rashi's eyes tracked one of the custodial staff outside; Alvarez, I think was his name. He was pulling one of those mini-dumpsters on wheels, filled with broken-up pieces of wood and a shattered toilet. Did the Doctor see his tree-trunk arms, as I did? Literal columns of knotted wood, groaning as he worked?

"Yeah, so...I was on the IHRB Post-College Entry Program and just got confirmed to ship out to Khamrungsa next July." I hazarded another sip of this tea...perhaps the burning sensation heightened the bite of the spices. Physical pain and tribulation usually helped me ignore internal discord, part of my unhealthy exercise compulsion.

The school psychologist tugged gently on the tip of his moustache, nodding along for me to proceed. "I presume to withhold congratulations...?" Gosh what a character…he reminded me a bit of the guy who played Saladin in that Ridley Scott movie about the Crusade - all weathered and hawkish, no-nonsense as sandstone.

I liked his dry humor, it was soothing in a way. "Ssso yeah, International Humanitarian Response Bureau got all its funding wiped with that executive order, so..." Still…putting those words out there, even leaving them half formed, it was another slow thrust of the dagger-of-night into my chest. 99% of the country wouldn’t have even heard of the IHRB, just another department lost to the Parker Purges. For me it was like my life had ended before it’d even begun.

"Ah. So a great elephant has stepped in your path." I blinked up at him and saw his lip curl upward in a wry smile.

The two of us shared a low chuckle...I liked the symbolism, Parker won thanks to GOP voters here in sunny Louisiana. This state was a caricature of itself in so many ways; I grew up in Seattle, a polar opposite of the Bayou State with its cross-clutching piety mingling with neon-pink debauchery.

"Yep. Don't really see a way around it.” Award for understatement of the century goes to Ascher Razansky. I was fucked, to put it bluntly.

My gaze drifted from the doctor back out the window, watching a stormfront rolling in from the South...it seemed like it'd been storming constantly, like Dade County was constantly under hurricane watch. The haze of near-summer heat lingered around ninety degrees daily, humid as a harlot’s palm. It was only the sterile zephyr of modern HVAC and the anticipation of nightfall that kept us out-of-staters in-state, otherwise this swamp wouldn’t be liveable.

"Such are the wages of good will, Mister Razansky...but I'll spare you the philosophy unless you wish to get into it." Another jotting of notes; I watched a fruit fly jump from a bowl of ripe bananas and mangos to float near his hair. It went up in a tiny puff of orange light and smoke.

So the fire is real - how the hell isn’t he igniting everything around him?

"I dunno Doctor, I barely squeezed a B out of Zakin's intro class...so yeah, there's an elephant in my path. There's also..." I stopped and shifted uncomfortably, the armchair feeling oppressive quite suddenly. There it was, that survival instinct that knocked on my temple, reminding me: Don’t air your dirty laundry, Ascher.

"Okay, you've probably heard this one before. Five guys walk with me into a bar. We all see this really hot girl I like, and I ask them if she's single. They all answer 'yeah, she's Andrew's / Liam's / Jun's / Tara's / Vahn's girl'." I gazed at him flatly, expecting another wry chuckle but he instead gives me a look that hovers between patriarchal disapproval and avuncular pity.

"How does that affect your perception of yourself as a man, Ascher? Do you pine for her, or is she out of your reach?" he went straight for the throat on that one; yowch. I actually felt it, like a hot blade prodding against my jugular. Mean son of a bitch. I struggled for a moment to keep my cool at the directness of his questioning, reminding myself this was his job.

"It's not great,” I understated my sense of smallness. “I don't know. I think she sees me...I've caught her staring at me a couple of times, but she's always with someone else." 

That was only half of it of course. This girl I was heart throbbing over, what would he say if I told him she had graceful, curling horns like a ram? What if I told him those long legs of hers, sleek as satin, ended in a goat’s cloven hooves? Would he walk back on his promise not to institutionalize me if I told him her eyes glowed heliotrope at night? 

"Hmm. A Triple Alliance of Troubles," he notes, adjusting a pair of brass wire glasses on his bent nose...how did they not melt? "Pursuit by an unknown dread...uncertain future...complex desire."

"Oh my," I quipped. We both shared an understated chuckle at that.

"Let us return to this sensation you have of being watched or chased, Mister Razansky." He sipped from his own mug of scalding tea; I watched with fascination as steam rose from the place where his moustache made contact with the liquid, hissing like a subdued adder. "When do you feel like this? Is there a particular environment? Is it when you're alone, or..."

I usually consider what I say before I say it, and I know to some people that's given the impression that I can be a little slow...not true of course, I'm as sharp as the next mattock. Doctor al-Rashi appears patient on the outside, but he has a few tells that signal to me that he's chomping at the bit; that must be a challenge in this job. He plucks the edge of his teacup with a fingernail, worrying a small crack; his gaze continually flits out to the stormfront rolling in from the shoreline, like he's checking for something in the clouds; the halo of flame standing in for his hair flickers between orange and blue.

I know he didn’t mean it, but these questions reminded me of that uncomfortable time when I was eight years old. The doctor explained just why he was going to ask me to turn my head and cough; it took about two hours for me to do so, I was a pretty stubborn kid. “I guess like, when I’m…y’know. Having sex, or like, taking care of myself.” At least he didn’t make it any weirder by keeping his eyes on his tablet, clinical and detached as a bunsen burner.

"I got some friends who are like...y'know, they're into urban exploration and ghost wrangling - "

"Ghost wrangling," he repeats, glancing at me from above his frames like he wasn't sure I'd actually used those words...not the first time I've gotten that kind of response. I don’t blame him, even I think it’s rather silly.

Even if I do see some stuff that scars the backs of my eyes; I’m thankful my friends don’t notice.

"Yeah like, hunting for paranormal activity." I palm my Samsung and play a video I took from March. It shows Vicky and Karl (two of my fellow wranglers) walking ahead down an ugly, bare concrete maintenance tunnel. It’s barely lit by guttering bulbs hanging from the ceiling, puddles of dirty water disturbed by Vicky's converses. 

The bushy braids on either side of her head sweep voluminously as she swivels her neck side to side, thrusting the EVP box in front of her like a holy talisman. She was dramatically interrogating the spirit of Jack Croix, who was supposedly lynched here back in the 1800s - are you angry at our intrusion? Give us a sign!

"I see...do you feel like you are being stalked when you are…wrangling ghosts with your friends?" Ahh there it is. Right, Mr. Shams you think I’m a crazy person. I’m not crazy. I’m not crazy.

I’m not crazy.

"Not just then...it depends on the neighborhood, and the building I think...like the old bomb factory on Krome, or the Sunset Mall." Were things like him aware of how they looked? Nobody else I’d met would have noticed the massive, avian shapes battling with thunder strikes in the approaching clouds. Did the doctor know he was on fire? Would he be like this tomorrow? Would he see the strange, yellowed doorways that slid up from the ground in the Mall, opening to cavernous spaces that couldn't exist in Dade County? 

A smirk crosses his face as he takes his notes - no...just a lick of plasma playing over his facial hair. "Have you ever gotten a glimpse of your pursuer?"

The question prompts a shivering chill to run up my spine, as if one of those mandrake-women from the pond had slid their claws up the back of my neck…no. Well, not entirely ‘no’. "I think so," I volunteer, always cautious and deliberate in speech.  "Usually I don't see anything, but like...a couple times I caught something at my periphery, but it just kinda slithered behind a wall and…" I make an effusive gesture with my fingers and mouth poof. 

"Sometimes I feel like there's someone right behind me, like they could reach out and poke me between the ribs but when I turn around there's nothing there, just this smell."

He glances up from his notes, clearly waiting for me to proceed. His eyes are devoid of judgment. "When I was little there was this old Chinese guy I lived next to, and he'd use linseed oil to treat these big panes of dark silk...apparently it made it waterproof, don't ask me. He'd hang them up on lines and I could smell them whenever I passed, not a loud smell. Sometimes when I'm feeling watched I can smell tamarind, maybe like...something kinda musky, like the stuff Miss Vang wears in her hair."

"You do not seem overly concerned for your safety," he points out; the statement makes me bristle, because suddenly he’s starting to hit close to home again, like with that question about my view of my manhood or whatever.

"What makes you say that?" I ask diplomatically, reminding myself that, asshole or no, I came into this office willingly and he was doing his job like he saw fit.

"You have not expressed fear. Unease perhaps, but you seem more preoccupied by the object of your affections than your little voyeur." The way he stood there, tall and straight as a torch...his gaze rarely left me, and he rarely smiled; it brought back memories of Temple services with Rachel. Rabbi Krovil had watched me like that, and they almost looked alike but for the fact that Krovil's head wasn't perpetually aflame.

Krovil's lower body had been that of a snake, I recalled. Nobody ever commented.

I wonder why he called it a ‘little voyeur’.

"Ascher," his voice yanked me back from my musings. "Do you feel as if you understand your place in this world?"

Alright, now I was starting to really regret coming here, he was getting into personal questions that didn’t really have any bearing on the issue at hand - handling my stress, which we hadn’t even gotten to, and it had already been fifteen damn minutes of this pressure cooker interrogation. To make matters worse, for this to be of any purpose, I have to answer honestly:

“No," I admit. "Ever since my program got cut I feel like I don't know what I'm doing with myself, or if this major is even useful...it's not like anyone's putting up anything of use."

"There's always need for civil engineers," he pointed out, but it felt more like a test, like he was prodding me forward to see how I’d respond.

"Any guy with a CEM can put up wiring for new condos on Alton," I countered, unable to keep the irritation from our voice as we circled around the gaping void of purpose in my life, a basket in which I'd thrown all my eggs only to find the bottom sheared away. "Those will be bought up by people with too much money, they don't need me. Nobody needs me here, Shams."

"You put too little stock in the depth of your own character, Mister Razansky," the doctor stated sharply - it felt like a particularly loud crackle from a campfire. "There is more to you than whatever you saw yourself doing in Khamrungsa; a man is not a tool shaped for one purpose, but an evolving force that shapes itself and the world around it...and if you truly feel your destiny can only be found in the Kham Mountains, there's more than one way to scale a cliff. You are as a man standing at a gorge with only a rickety rope bridge to see you across." He drew my attention to a picture of…a tropical canyon, green with a rushing river, spanned by what could barely be called a bridge. “I crossed that thing everyday to go to school, boy. I know what it’s like. If there’s a way across you take it.”

I didn't bother to hide my skepticism. Khamdo was a tropical mountain basin, choked with jungles and impassable rock-faces. It had never been governed by a single entity until the disastrous 1st Republic, and there was almost no modern transit infrastructure. The few forms of entry were jealously protected by any number of militias and rebel groups...and my own character? Shams may have been a psychologist but he didn't know who I was. 

He didn't know how useless I was without this direction in life.

"Let's circle back around," he tapped a few times on his tablet which made a curious -whirrup- sound, and pulled a stool up to sit before me, steepling his smoldering fingers. "I want to address these things first with the remaining time we have, and make sure we have somewhere to jump off from the next time you see me - I already scheduled you to meet with me Monday after Control Systems."

He what? But before I could press him on invading my schedule he bowled over me.

"Mister Razansky, you are being a leaf in the wind...a salmon swept out to sea." He took his glasses off, and his irises quite literally ignited, burning out of their sockets as he polished his lenses. "A mouse in a maze, one might even say."

I weathered the animal metaphors with stony quiet, trying my best not to bristle like a hedgehog - dammit, no I was doing it now. "...are you saying - "

"Yes. I am. You are being incredibly weak."

---

“Mother-FUCKER.” The rock skipped across the water, slashing the scummy surface three times before disappearing beneath the pond’s mucky depths. One of the Mandrake women glanced up from where she was busily braiding her sister’s hair and sniffed at me as if I’d disturbed her peace.

Would she even understand me if I talked to her, or was she just another dumb animal?

Childish outbursts like that were usually beneath me, but Doctor al-Rashi had given me the fourth degree - here I thought I was going to get some professional advice, not to get flayed like a heretic in a dungeon. What would Tessa think if she saw me get worked over like that?

I sat down heavily at the edge of the pond and huffed through my teeth, feeling the last rays of the sun’s vengeful stare disappearing behind tonight’s thunderstorm. In the midst of Shams’ excoriation of my character in the guise of counseling was one truth that was just…painfully dismaying. The fact that it pissed me off proved how accurately his critique struck.

I could have just got home to get ready for tonight - we were going to check out the Villa Romana in Boca Raton later, heard some chilling stuff about it - but I stayed for a bit…one thing I’d learned at age seventeen, people see anger from a tall man and feel a reflexive fear. I needed to work it out first, it wouldn’t be considerate to go dragging it through a crowd.

A fox emerged from a patch of cinnamon ferns walking on its hind-legs, its glossy red coat patched in places by what looked like thatch. It held a mason jar filled with glowing worms in its paws, clutching it without concern for anatomical possibility. It wore a lime-green chiffon around its throat, three rings pierced through its right ear.

What the fuck, came the initial reaction to the weirdness of it all; I’d been seeing things like this for over fourteen years and it never felt normal. There was always some grotesque, otherworldly pageantry to it, and I always asked myself: am I really seeing this shit?

“You know the worst part of it,” I began, looking directly at the fox and catching it off guard as it unscrewed the top of the mason jar, nearly dropping it from its scabbling paws, “he’s right about everything, and even though that’s not what makes him an asshole, it’s his delivery that makes him an asshole.”

The little red canid gawped at me, like it couldn’t believe I was speaking to it. It quickly drew its eyes away from me, as if by ignoring me I’d somehow be unable to see it, but I wasn’t deterred from venting - what did it matter? Most people would just see an imposing dark haired man ranting to himself at the water’s edge and leave me be, and if the fox was a figment of my imagination then…what did it matter?

“So apparently I’m the coward because I’m not just turning and throwing my chest out at whatever’s creeping on me and saying ‘hey you, fuck off!’, cuz that’s what you do with a potential ax murderer, right?” I scoffed, watching the fox carefully fasten the glowing worm on a slender line and hook - it give a quiet ‘skreee!’ of pain. “And you know what he had the audacity to tell me? Here, and I quote: ‘you are an almost two meters tall man and a compulsive exerciser, surely you can stand before some scuttling shadow.’” I made sure to frame the last two words in air-quotes that the fox regarded with dry disbelief, as if to ask why on earth are you talking to me?

“‘My boy if you keep behaving like a ferret in flight you’ll eventually be prey for hawks.’ I’ve never heard so many animal metaphors in forty five minutes…sorry.” That was rude of me, I glanced apologetically at the fox who was watching me warily from the corner of its eyes. It wrinkled its nose at my gaze, like it didn’t want to be seen.

“Then, okay, here’s where he gets real audacious. Just bear with me here - get it?” I smirked wryly, leaning back on my palms and staring up at the rapidly darkening sky. “Bear? Cuz you’re a fox - ah…probably not…so, he said about Tessa, this guy clearly thinks he’s some sort of Cassanova who wrote the 1950s Punjab version of How to Not Die Alone. He was like, ‘a woman like that does not reveal herself to you, does not allow you to witness her heavy gaze without intent. That gaze hooks you, it gives her power over you - why do you let it? Why do you not seize the bull by the horns and take charge?’”

I sighed with the sort of weighty drama I reserved for Arryn. The fox had dropped the line in the water, waiting with fraying patience and weathering my venting admirably; it must have been a figment of my imagination in that case. “He asked if I really desired her, since I hadn’t yet made a move and the answer is god yes…” 

I fell back onto the grass and let my thoughts wander to her. Tess Diyonis was the most enchanting woman I’d ever seen in my whole life, beyond what I could have imagined. Her hair was the same red as copper warmed by the sun, as the outer edges of a bonfire in whose light I basked. “She has these cheeks that get really round and rosy when she laughs, and when she laughs it’s like…the opening lines of a jazz show, all smoky and honey flavored.” It made my chest thrum, it made my loins ache. The fox scoffed, rolling its eyes as I waxed poetic; I didn’t give a damn.

“Her body…fffuck…sorry if this is TMI but I don’t think I have ever seen a nicer pair of breasts in my whole life, I kid you not my friend, they’re solid 10s. Furthermore,” I held a finger up, covering the last corona-edge of the sun, “she has gold rings through her nipples.” That fact alone…it made my eyes roll backward. So fucking hot. I’d never been with a girl that had those, and they were…tempting, to put it mildly.

I glanced at my vulpine companion, watching him haul backward, as if he’d hooked something, clenching his sharp little teeth and straining hard. “She also has horns. And goat legs. Let’s not forget that part, and you know that shouldn’t be sexy, it should be weird but it’s not. She’s actually in my Control Systems class so I have no choice but to check her out at all possible opportunities.” She was intensely distracting; I had to record the lectures since I zoned out watching her move through the lab, dancing between equipment like a whirlwind of self-contained, exultant chaos.

“That,” I punctuated the word dramatically by slapping my fist into my palm, “is why I can’t just waltz up to her and say…” a flippant gesture, watching the fox struggle with its catch, “hey babe, you wanna grab a drink? Who says that kind of thing and just makes it work?”

I knew she wasn’t just some dumb Panhandler who’d ended up at Ashland-U…Tessa was the kind of girl who’d end up going places. I didn’t really know much about her, I already felt kind of like…outclassed, like she was a girl far outside my league.

I watched the fox growl and struggle, digging its heels into the grassy banks of the pond and slide toward the water. Feeling only briefly foolish and hoping nobody was watching, I moved to grab the line as well, pulling the catch toward the surface…weird, it didn’t seem to struggle so much as simply weigh a great deal.

“He makes everything sound so easy, like ‘hey just get up and go do it’,” I continued to complain as the fox barked first in outrage as my intrusion, then gave a low chortle of appreciation as we made progress hauling something large and oblong to the surface…how deep was this pond? “So, I had a job lined up that got cancelled, basically screwed up my post-grad plans, and he’s all ‘Ascher, Khamrungsa sits upon a mountain range. It is not going anywhere because it is incapable of movement, it is simply waiting for you to scale it…you lost your easy way in is all, is that enough to unman you?”

Unman me. What. The. Hell. That word had slid between my ribs like a stiletto, twisting and tearing…brutal. Insulting.

I’d actually gotten up to storm from his office at that point, but he’d been brazen enough to put his hand on the doorknob, pinning me in the heat of his gaze again - and that close, I could definitely feel the heat. “He made one good point though…” I had to admit, watching with some curiosity as we dragged what appeared to be an antique, bright blue dresser from the water. It stood up on its own accord…strikingly blue. Hypnotically, potently sky blue, the blue of liberation.

Huh. It looked familiar; vertigo and deja vu danced at the edge of my senses, like they always did when I encountered the Otherworld, or whatever this was.

Why did that color blue hit so hard, like a message?

“If I don’t make my own purpose, someone is going to make it for me, and it’ll be for their benefit.” I watched the fox sidle past me and test the drawers and handles; it was sealed with a combination lock, one which the little canine with its ostentatious scarf was expertly spinning. “Don’t you think?”

-click-

The padlock fell away. I should have looked away, but as was so often the case with the Otherworld, it was like an exquisite catastrophe I couldn’t look away from.

The dresser’s doors sprung open with a violent clatter, revealing a vast, sylvan landscape beyond, filled with flowers of strange colors I couldn’t put words to. Mountains that looked as if they’d been melted up from the ground stabbed upward in the distance, clawing at a sky dotted with floating islands of mossy rock and crystal. A massive crater stood in the center of it all, smouldering with sinuous blue light.

The fox looked at me once again, narrowed its eyes and cocked its head. “[Carpe noctum, frater,]” it rumbled at me in a voice as deep as a sousaphone, before it stepped through the dresser doors. They slammed shut, catapulting the azure furniture back into the water.

Huh.

[zahri-melitor]

Tidying up stuff going into Knight Terrors: (I'm getting so close!)

Catwoman (Tini Howard): I do not care about Valmont, Howard. If he had actually been Khoa I might have managed to care a smidge, but this guy? no. These are also generally subpar depictions of both Onyx and Scandal Savage, but there's so much 'actually writing Onyx and Scandal' counterbalancing that that I think it comes out neutral. I'm still unsure why Duchess the cat glitters like that. And I don't actually care that much about Howard's overarching Punchline plot.

Of the four writers on the 2018 Catwoman run so far, I think I'd rank Howard 4th, but a lot of that is just Joëlle Jones, Ram V and even Torunn Grønbekk (so far) being significantly better plotters.

In the positive column, I will say I appreciate Howard's commitment to writing a mix of female DC characters who don't get a lot of page time (Sondra Fuller! Onyx and Scandal as mentioned! Eiko Hazigawa!) and Dario is a sweetie, but honestly I'm just counting page time until I get through this.

Detective Comics (Ram V): so I'm through Overture and Act One, and I have to say, I still don't care about the Orghams and I don't know why I should.

Yes, yes, it's very high concept, and it's interestingly tied into Dan Watters' Arkham stuff, it's got some lovely art, and I don't mind the mix of characters Ram V's pulling in, but it's very, very, very slow and seriously I do not care about the Orghams.

Batman: Legends of Gotham #1: honestly I read this for Black Lightning and Katana, and they're pretty poorly written here. Deep 'I don't care' vibes here for most of the characters.

DC Power: A Celebration #1: honestly these are generally fine. The Nubia and Bumblebee team up was probably my stand out, followed by John Stewart with Keli Quintela, and then Vixen and Batwing. Just some really fun combinations of characters.

I will say, Luke Fox really does get stuck dating random characters with absolutely no warning. Mari's generally been on and off dating Ben Turner and I believe this is the first time Luke and Mari have ever met?

Batman: One Bad Day - Clayface: I think I was expecting this to perhaps have more resonance with some of his recentish characterisation (Tynion's Tec, say. Or hanging out with Selina and co during Fear State with the other 'this is too far' criminals), but really this just went really hard for Basil wanting to be an actor again and solving all his problems by eating people and assuming their likenesses. I did appreciate that he was like 'what did I do wrong?!?' in the face of Bruce trying to bring him in. Lanzing and Kelly make a good writing team who are happy to write weird shit; it's just it felt oblivious to a bunch of Basil's biggest stories since Rebirth.

Batman: One Bad Day - Ra's al Ghul: I think Tom Taylor was an interesting pick for this, personally, because what he brought to it was the reconsideration of what being an ecoterrorist means to people in the 2020s, as opposed to what it meant in the 1970s. Those 'am I so bad? really? have you seen the results?' vibes are arguably what's been going on with a bunch of Ra's appearances recently (Joshua Williamson also leaned into this), and so "I am going to fix the planet by killing cartoonishly evil CEOs and replacing them with their children who I have cultivated to love the Earth" is rather of a line with other recent appearances, rather than his more classic widespread depopulation plans.

Is this a plot that is likely to be successful? Lolno. And it could have used more grandiose scope rather than "let me kill these 30 people and it'll fix everything forever, Batman! Why are you so against this!" But it also taps into a line of Bruce stories where he won't sacrifice even one person.

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

Okay yeah no I need to yell abt Valentino's behavior during Stayed Gone and the scenes surrounding it some more because it makes me rEALLY FUCKING FRUSTRATED-

First of all: Val is partially the reason Stayed Gone even happens in the first place. While I do believe Vox would've done something similar had he figured out Al was at the hotel some other way, Val still encouraged Vox to react the way he did. The smiles, the teasing, the way he subtly reminds Vox why he hates Alastor in the first place... it's all very intentional. He is purposefully trying to get Vox pissed off. He wants a show. A show that he KNOWS is going to cause damage to the Vees image, which he also knows is very important to Vox. He also ABSOLUTELY could've told Vox this information sooner! He probably heard about Alastor being at the hotel from Angel, and we know that episode one takes place like a week after the pilot. Val probably knew Alastor was there for at most a week before he told Vox. He was saving that information(for some fucking reason idfk). And like to be fair I don't think just randomly bringing that up to Vox would be a very good idea, but like. Val also picked a really weird time to tell him anyway so. There was probably some kind of ulterior motive there. Also I've seen a couple people saying this so I'm just gonna get it out of the way right now: THIS IS ABSOLUTELY NOT THE SAME THING AS VOX SUBTLY MANIPULATING VAL TO GET HIM TO CALM DOWN. Vox did that as a way to prevent Val from shooting up a fucking building, one that also happened to contain the LITERAL PRINCESS OF HELL!!! There was no waiting for Val to calm down in that scenario, he had to get him to stop. Val was also literally throwing shit at him??? Fuck I'm surprised Vox didn't pull the manipulation card sooner. I've gone into it in depth before but for the sake of this post I'm going to reiterate: FIGHTING BACK AGAINST SOMEBODY WHO HAS BEEN THROWING SHIT AT YOU AND IS ACTIVELY THREATENING TO DO SOMETHING LIKE SHOOT UP A BUILDING WITH THE SECOND MOST POWERFUL BEING IN HELL INSIDE IS NOT ABUSE!!!!!!!!!! LIKE HOLY FUCK I SHOULDN'T EVEN HAVE TO SAY THIS IT'S NOT EVEN FUCKING CLOSE TO ABUSE YALL NEED TO STOP SAYING THIS SHIT!!!!!!!! Vox was trying to prevent Val from doing something OBSCENELY stupid, Val was actively encouraging Vox to do the dumbest fucking thing possible. These actions are not the same. They do not carry the same weight.

*ahem* Anyways, that brings us to the singing portion of Stayed Gone, which to be fair Val isn't really in all that much. But when he IS, boy howdy is he NOT acting like somebody who was very clearly trying to get this reaction literally 30 seconds ago. He shows up like. 3 times. And every time he looks put off by Vox's behavior. BITCH YOU WANTED THIS THE FUCK!?!?!?!? This is the part that makes me really mad. I don't even know WHY it's so upsetting to me- the manipulation is shitty yeah but to have the fucking GAUL to act like you weren't TRYING TO GET THIS REACTION afterwards is just. What. No! What???? That's. What the fuck???? You are not allowed to encourage somebody to make a public fool of themself and then be embarrassed when they make a public fool of themself. It is simply against the rules. Also his complete disinterest during the meeting scene... like okay, lets contrast this with Velvette's behavior for a second, right? She also looks upset during Stayed Gone, but she didn't egg Vox on the way Val did, in fact she probably had no idea what was going on until the song started, so she gets a pass. Then, during the meeting scene, she. She actually participates. She gives genuine suggestions and actually pays attention to what Vox & Val are saying. I'm on the fence over wether this should be considered bare minimum or not because, while Al forming an alliance with Charlie WOULD be a big deal, we don't actually know how much this would effect specifically the Vees so. Idk. But still she's doing more than fucking Val!!! Valentino "someone who owes us much more than money" HazbinHotel is just sitting there, bedazzling his gun, giving weird vague suggestions that barely even apply to the situation. Velvette wins this interaction, gold star for her, because LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK VAL-

Anyways, in conclusion, Val's behavior in this scene makes me really mad and is thus far completely unjustified by the narrative. Vox never does anything even REMOTELY similar to him, at least not that we know of, and Velvette, the person who is MUCH LESS INVOLVED IN VOX AND ALASTOR'S BULLSHIT THEN VAL IS, is still somehow taking the situation more seriously then Val, who is, once again, LITERALLY THE ONE WHO ENCOURAGED THIS BULLSHIT!!!! The bar was on the floor and yet Val somehow managed to limbo his way under it. I hate it here.

[golbrocklovely]

Your respond made me question if those “fans” will ever accept Sam’s new partner that is not Katrina (or Colby lol). The way i see it even Malia was more welcomed than Katelyn (although both of them had a cold start). I think nowadays i see more people loving Malia and actually accepting her, than hating on her. Thing that I fear Kateyn would not be ale to achieve if she stayed. And my only reason for that it’s because people felt too attached to Katrina, even people who supposedly “hated her” or claimed she is “using Sam” got used to her just being there and being Sam’s gf that i fear they will never let that go (especially that if i am not wrong Katrina is still single) and every other Sam’s new gf will be compared to Katrina and hated by the fandom, because for them “Katrina and Sam are clearly MADE for each other 😣”. I mean some people still act like she is Sam’s gf or like she is meant to come back, because “it’s her place”. So in that matter i kinda pity Sam.

i mean… that's kinda how i feel tbh lol

(another ramble session from me, sorry in advance)

the sam and kat thing is very odd to me, especially when you see fans say "he'll never do better than her". first and foremost, i get being upset that they ended, sure. but saying that sounds gross to me for some reason. like i think you can lift up kat and say she's gonna have a good life without him and will eventually find love without saying that he somehow is never gonna be happy again. that type of behavior and thought process is so childish. it's not like he was abusive, he broke up with her bc he just couldn't marry her and making her wait even longer would have been worse for their relationship.

while it's clear they aren't on the best of terms anymore, i think hating him (or her, bc god knows she gets hate too) is just weird. you don't have to hate either of them. their relationship didn't end in flames or bc they hate each other. you don't have to make it a versus all the time. there is no winner in this outcome.

as for katelyn and malia… the issue is messy. personally, i think both girls got the short end of the stick. they both got a crazy amount of hate (and malia still does) and i expected part of that to happen eventually when colby got a gf, but i think bc kat wasn't with sam anymore, it became like a shit storm instantly since it wasn't just colby getting a gf.

katelyn had so many lies spread about her in relation to kat it's not even funny. ppl were claiming they were friends before and thus she took sam from her (not true at all. they did possibly follow one another before hand, but their only connection was tess, who wasn't exactly bffls with kat). ppl claimed katelyn talked badly about kat, even tho all the clips i've seen have been not even remotely noteworthy, let alone something to throw hate at her for. i kinda think the reason why katelyn got a lot of hate is bc, as i've said countless times before on here, this fandom has an inability to critique sam. they will do everything in their power to not give him hell even tho they do it all the time to colby. so i weirdly think that bc this fandom couldn't be mad at sam for moving on too quickly from kat or for seemingly """replacing""" her, they chose katelyn to take their anger out on. but even that eventually wore itself thin and for the first time, i actually saw ppl genuinely hate on sam the same way they do colby. which was both refreshing and depressing all at the same time lol

i also think katelyn is just weird enough to be annoying to a lot of ppl, and bc of that, immediately she sucks. i obviously don't feel that way about her, but i can get why some wouldn't love her. in addition, i think she tried a bit too hard to be liked in this fandom and that drove ppl nuts. and she introduced colby to malia, which means she was public enemy #1 for a lot ppl. i mean, i literally heard someone full on dox her during a space on twitter and then call her a whore just bc she's dating sam. while the fandom wasn't in love with kat the moment they met her, they never went this far.

as for malia, i've seen some truly heinous shit said about her. like i'm talking fake dms with nudes (that obviously weren't hers), cheating allegations, fans making fun of her filler and boob job, fans calling her a whore and a slut for merely wanting to show off her body, she has no personality (even tho we've never even heard her speak so…. explain how you just know that), colby chose her over shea (which is just not true at all), the list goes on and on. i think the hate for her has calmed down a lot bc i think 1, she never tries to talk to fans except the occasional reply on a TikTok comment. i honestly think her not trying to befriend the fandom has worked out for her a lot more than katelyn's attempt at being our bestie. and 2, i think that bc colby shows her off (in a way that sam never did katelyn) we can see that colby is happy with malia. unless you're a hater; then bc they pose too much in pictures or *checks notes* never smile with one another that means they are faking it.

i do feel for sam, in a way, too. the thing is, i think out of the two of them, sam is the one that will speak up against the fandom, and he needs to do that. he needs to tell fans to chill the fuck out when it comes to his future significant others. like we cannot have a repeat next time he dates someone. it's just not gonna work out. but i also feel as if snc aren't gonna do that. i love them dearly, and idk who is in their ear telling them to do this (whether it be management or themselves) but them not sticking up for themselves or their gfs rubs me the wrong way. bc that's how you get a fandom like this that thinks hating on their gfs/themselves for a year straight is somehow okay. and god knows if i was dating one of them long term and they were just telling me to ignore the hate or not use an entire social media platform bc that's were a majority the hate was on… i would be going nuclear lol

like, it's either you tell your fans to calm down or i do. and since they ain't my fans, i don't have to be nice to them. so… pick your poison.

[popculturebuffet]

Next up for Nickelodeon era of shows, who is your favorite character from each of the late 2000s to 2010 Nicktoons shows (notably the longevity of Nicktoons around this time began getting less with only a handful from this point onward getting more than 2 seasons, Nickelodeon getting more reliant on SpongeBob around this time, and Nicktoons often getting moved to the Nicktoons channel for burning off episodes if didn't match SpongeBob's ratings instantly became a frequent occurrence at this point) you've seen like: El Tigre The Adventures of Manny Rivera, Tak and the Power of Juju, Back at the Barnyard, The Mighty B, The Penguins of Madagascar 2008, Fanboy & Chum Chum, Planet Sheen, and TUFF Puppy?

Now that i knew but nick being shitty to their cartoons was a constnat. Something they ALWAYS did this is just where, with nicktoons in place, they started being way faster about it. Had to put up less pretense.

El Tigre: The boy himself. He has an intresting dynamic of not being a villian or a hero (more anti hero), that really could use more exploration in a possible revivial or fanfiction (Wink wink), as the show generally lead to the good side and din't have manny do crimes too often. But he's still charming, funny and likeable kid with an intresting power set. As for the show it's pretty good, a bit broad for it's concept, but it works, with nice over the top comedy and gorgeous animation. Jorge Guteirez always brings it and I need to watch his other show and his film at some point.

Tak: Hal sparks kid only because he's hal sparks. I have an attachment ot the guy since I watched him on I love the 80s , which I also need to rewatch. Tak.. not so much. I hear the games are geninely solid 3d colllectithons and nick could do to rerelease them or have updated versions ala rehydrated, but the show takes a possible epic fantasy show with some goofy humor.. and turns it into "Kid with a lot of power fucks up a lot"

I've watched cartoons up to present day and while I fell off nick due to lack of cable and previously being awful at putting stuff on streaming (they've gotten better), so you have to wait some time and they can spread a season over years in some cases (*cough* loud house *Cough), I did watch for a long time.. and I was just.. not intrested in this at all. I'd seen it so many times. Just above el tigre does it better, as the villian or hero choice lets Manny get away with more shit than say Otto Rocket. And thus it dosen't work here: everyone's either vaugely filled otu or a dick, the mythology isn't really well built, and any hope of another action show is gone... I don't mind comedy in my action, the golden trinity of superhero shows i've covered here and the previous CN list should make that very clear... but I mind wasting another good fantasy show on this shit, especially at a time when the bar was sky high.

Back at the Barnyard: This one I remembered as being.. eh. Pretty weak first season I noped out of the show after.. but any time I caught a later episode... I saw a changea nd wish i'd gone back. Just from out of context vids i've found while season 1 had it's gems that are featured it fucking lost it as it went, including a full on war with weird al (Who did a LOT of voice acting back then and should keep doing it, he was great as milo murphy). So a show I didn't think much of but seemed to get a lot better once it stopped being a bland imitation of am ovie few people saw but is apparently good and started just embracing i'ts looney tunes esque madness.

The Mighty B: Don't really have one. This one was eh. I know some hate it, I thought it was okay and like many of these shows it got better but no one got to see that because nicktoons. It was nice to see amy pohler in a cartoon, hope she does it again, but overall like Tak , and a lot of the weaker shows from here on out, it comes out as a weak copy of stuff the network had done better: grossout, hero whose goofy but isn't like by most people but a select few.. there just isn't anything to what I saw of mighty b that makes me WANT to go back versus barnyard, which geninely improved and simply shed it's more standard trappings for something far more fun.

The Penguins of Madagascar: A spinoff.. honestly better than the movies. At least the ones i've seen and I really LIKED 2 when I saw it one time in a theater, so it's a compliment. (I hear 3 is really good). Like most film based spinoffs Nick has done, it takes a second to get going but was a lot of fun in highlight. I can see why kiean carlyle (Fan animator and youtuber whose covered both suite life shows (with the new video finishing the saga having just come out), wizards of waverly place, mighty med, labrats and mighty med and labrats) did a retrospective on it and need to watch that. The show isn't one of my all time favoirites, but it works really well and honestly WAY more than it should. A spinoff that just has "the characters the audeince took to" (the lemurs and the penguins) and no real ties shouldn't work.. but it does because the penguins are that strong and them doing various heists or other shenaigans work. Jullian and Maurice work as comic relief and having seen their show, work well enough on their own too. And Marlene and the Zookeepr were great additions. They let marlene be the voice of reason/love intrest without having her be boring. Granted getting Nicole Suilvan to play her helps, but the show was really good. Top notch stuff.

Fanboy and chum Chum: Their crazy totally amazing MAKE IT STOP PLEASE MAKE IT STOP. Yeah this one has an annoying theme song and like about half the shows in this block is a poor xerox of stuff that worked better in other shows. yet... it's more mediocre than bad. This may be THE most hated nicktoon, with only our next contestant rivaling it from what I can tell.. but it's just.. okay. It's not good, it dosen't really have anything going for it and most of it's gimmicks are taken from other shows , but it's not so bad it's good or high tier awful either. it's just a lame copy of better stuff trying to be spongebob or ren and stimpy or even regular show without any of the pizzaz those had. It's what an AI would make if it made a nicktoon. It's not really wroth hating it's just... there.

Planet Sheen:

Now for the oppisite. Fuck this show, First off I found out later it was supposed to be it's own thing.. and woul'dve worked better that way, with a pizza dude getting shot up into space. That.. sounds more fun and most of the cast would've worked. Making it a jimmy neutron spinoff.. was a terrible idea. The show had more to tell so instead of just.. reviving that if they wanted more jimmy neutron with a revivial/spinoff, they instead shoved Sheen into a concept that dosen't really work WITH sheen. Granted part of it is, especiallya fter revieiwng the christmas special recently.. sheen is more layered than he tends to be remembered. Even I forgot his nice well of sarcasm. Sheen in Jimmy Neutron is fucking weird... but he's often the straight man in their comedy trio to a degree I forgot. Carl really is the weird as fuck one, Jimmy is a man of science and can be the straight man to his doofier best friends, but can also get caught in his ego. Sheen tends to be the one calling jimmy out when Cindy isn't present or calling cindy out when LIbby isn't early on. Here.. he has none of that. He's just an obnoxious idiot who cheats on his girlfriend, also wanted to make out with carl (which isn't innacurate but of all the tthings to pick up on form jimmy neutron, and didn't use carl because of executiv emeddling. This one is the worst nicktoon so far.. simply because Nick tried to cram too much generic bullshit into it. It COULD'VE worked. Idiot stumbles into glory isn't new, but it would've worked better with a protagaanist they didn't dumb down in a new property. I dont' know why Nick made a terrible spinofff to a show they clearly don't care about, and I wish they hadn't.

TUFF Puppy: Kitty and Dudley tie.. both because they purdy, and because they play off each other pretty well when the shows working at it's best. Overall this show is just.. fine though. Not a bad get smart reboot, doofus with some talent lead and cat suited sensible sidekick, but like , say it again A LOT OF THESE SHOWS, it feels like reheated leftovers. It's just not AS bad because there's some creativity. For as much as butch hartman sucks, and he does, he can make a decent cast. He was half assing it a bit more here, but I suspect it's also because he didn't have say steve marmel to help iron things out. But as a broad comedy it's fine. It's nothing amazing, but it's not AGRESSIVELY medidocre like the bulk of shows around this time. It's stuff w'eve seen before, idiot, woman as foil, weird techie, chief whose goofier than he lets on, but it's also not bad. Maybe it's the furry in me... probably ti's the furry in me, but it also just has a lot of fun stuff to it. I can't really hate it like I did planet sheen or eh it away like most of these shows. It did try a little. Not a lot and it shoudl've tried more as it could've been really great, a new darkwing duck.. but it wasn't half bad. again Grey and Jerry do a LOT of the lifting. THe voice cast for this one is fantastic. But i'll take "it's eh but it has really good perofrmances " over "let's make the generic ideal of what a kid wants" anyday. CN hit a rough patch too, we saw it, mostly trying to follow nick's footsteps.. but nick REALLY slid in quality as it went with only a few bright spots. And what good shows it did have it gave up on too fast. and it just won't stop doing it either.

[the-catmans-offical-2]

Can we get Izumi for the ask game?

How I feel about this character

-> Ngl, I don't really like Izumi. I can't say why nessicarily, save for her treatment of 03 Wrath and how she treated the Elric brothers, because I just. Don't like her? I dunno, all the mother-esque characters make me feel weird. (This would include Trisha/03 Sloth.)

-> I don't really have much to say about her in comparison to other characters ngl. It's also 1:25 AM so I don't got my mind all there.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

-> I only ship Sig with her bc I don't see her with anyone else, and the two are canonically together.

-> I've seen a ship pairing of her and Olivier Armstrong, I'm not opposed to that shipping I think? I don't remember much about Olivier, needx to rewatch fmab still.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

-> I feel like her and Pinako would be decent friends??

-> Maybe if she met Hoenhiem she'd of befriend him, I'm pretty sure she befriended him in fmab so I wouldn't be off on the assumption.

My unpopular opinion about this character

-> Her beating the hell out of Ed after he told her that he and Al tried bringing back their mom was *really* uncalled for; A lot of her physical violence is uncalled for in my eyes, bitch threw knives at Ed when he was trying to get information from her. Unlike Winry, her violence doesn't come from worry (well, it does sometimes but it also doesn't; Izumi is also a grown woman whereas Winry is a little girl who ends up growing to realize that she can't just beat the fuck outta someone bc she's worried or frustrated with them because of that worry.), Izumi does it as a method of teaching. Even good behavior is given punishment.

-> Ed and Al are genuinely terrified of her, and when she hugged Ed after beating his ass; HE HAD A RIGHT TO LOOK AS BAFFLED AS HE DID.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

-> I wish she didn't beat Ed and Al to fuck like she does. Maybe then Ed and Al would've visited her or told her things, like when Ed became a state alchemist and shit. She learned years later.

-> 03 Wrath shouldn't of forgiven her. That's it.

-> That being said, I wish we could've had Izumi and 03 Wrath interacting more.

[jinxed-sinner]

Maybe this is a weird take but I don't think Alastor’s actually interested in Charlie's soul, or anyone at the hotel's soul for that matter (aside from Husk and Niffty obviously). My reasoning is simple, he doesn't seem to go after people without a reason to. The Overlords he attacked were referred to as "heavy hitters" by Mimzy, which implies some level of the Overlords Alastor went after being shitty people, and Husk was a piece of shit as an Overlord. He used the souls he owned as gambling chips. We know from what we've seen though that Overlords aren't inherently bad.

I wouldn't be surprised if they rose to power in the absence of Lucifer actually, because Overlords at the very least run the Pentagram and not all of them are bad (by which I mean not all of them are abusive pieces of shit like the Vees). Carmilla genuinely cares about the souls she owns, as does Rosie (obviously, Rosie might be worse than what we've seen, but so far she seems to have some level of genuine care for the souls she controls, and Cannibal Town seems to absolutely adore her. They don't seem to fear her either).

So where am I going with this? All Alastor wants is his freedom; he wants to break free from whatever contract he's under. He doesn't necessarily need to own Charlie’s soul to do that, just get close to her. Hell, it'd probably be more dangerous for him than for Charlie; Charlie’s the third most powerful person in Hell (well, second, since Lilith isn't currently in Hell), and Stolas says that just a deal with one of the Deadly Sins is everlastingly binding. What about a deal with one of the royals at the top of it all? Alastor would very likely be put in a more dangerous position than he's already in, and he's already a master manipulator and has Charlie’s trust. He doesn't really have a reason to make a deal for Charlie’s soul.

I also don't think he's stupid enough to make a deal for Charlie’s soul; Lucifer would 100% try to kill him over it, and possibly succeed, and I think Alastor knows that. Hell, Vaggie looked like she was ready to kill him over the deal he already made with Charlie. I actually think the worst that would happen with the deal Charlie and Alastor currently have is Lucifer watching Al like a hawk, because Charlie and Alastor are still friends at this point and I don't think Charlie would be very happy if Lucifer tried to kill Alastor.

Anyway yeah I don't think Alastor’s interested in Charlie's soul, and I don't think he's stupid enough to make a deal for it even if he wanted to. Maybe this is a bad take though lol

[mydysfunctionalvampirefamily]

The title makes me very worried!

Lmao not me being confused that parents come to pick up their kids at night when Lex says there are vans outside the school. 😂😂 I'm so stupid.

This underworld storm sounds very bad and really gross.

Something that is dormant, but does not sleep. One of those Zantosa house gross antedeluvians?

I forgot about the raven feathers.

Lmao Wynn keeps forgetting she is an archon now and people respect her.😂

Red death?? 😂 I'm sorry, it's judt so funny that they get to pick their own names and they pick them like they're edgy 13 year old gamer boys.

Why the fuck would they go to hell house?!?

Wynn just casually throwing out weird ass occult names.

Wow. Justicar Lucinde being well not kind but practical, giving guidance and not being unnecessarily cruel. I didn't think she had it in her.

Wynn is a necromancer??? I feel so stupid, how did I not know this? Or is this Wynn's ghost stuff?

NO!!! Noooooooooo!!!! Lex, don't do it!!! Not the bloodbond 3 please! 🙏😭

Fucking lady lucinde farquad.

Fuck the camarilla.

What??? It's still the same fucking night???? These nights are endless!!!! But I'm relieved! There still is a chance. 😭

The masquerade is failing in new York where they are fighting and diablerising in the streets? Oh no. Who could have for seen this unlikely turn of events...

Lol pendragon being scared of getting diablerised.😂

I know Wynn hates this, but it sounds like she's doing a good job at being an archon. Fighting ghost stuff and being a badass is kind of her thing.

The sabbat doing their weird fire ritual stuff? Yuk.

Serpentine? Is he a settite??

A nun? FLAYED OFF FACE???? what the fuck. 😭 (the painted bone with flowers and stuff is kind of cool, but very gross)

Well I guess this explains the desecration of graves cw.

Archon Cabot. Sounds kind of hot, sorry not sorry. 🤷 Wynn having someone reach out to keep the coterie updated is much appreciated.

I totally forgot they hadn't talked about the ritual yet. 😂

Zofiel is being channeled by Pendragon??? This sounds like the worst idea I've ever heard.😂

So either Zofiel has taken over Pendragon, or Pendragon is fleeing diablerie?? Either way he is facing some deserved consequences of his own actions. 😂😂

Britta tiny voice: I stepped into the circle and kissed him. Lmao

Johnny is cracking me up this episode. First with the phone and now with the mirror and Britta. He doesn't give a shit.

Johnny 😂😂 gping full dad! 😂😂😂 So angry, yelling he's turning this combat suv around.

Miles just so tired and annoyed, and no one is listening to him.

Lil baby Neil needs Wynn with him. 🥺 I grt yiu baby Neil, I also need powerful Wynn with me to protect me with her claws of doom!

13 levels of damage? That seems like a lot???

So if corpses are running around eating people, I'm assuming the masquerade is also breached in new haven?

No not Rufio and his dogs 😂😂 I know this is all super serious but I cannot take anything seriously when they are around.

Wait why do they need to heal? Am I forgetting something?

Not me thinking my phone broke but it is just sound editing week of nightmares effect. 😂😂

Also yaaay Wynn!!!! Is this part of Neil's new power he got for ascending?? Dope af.

Oh no. Lex saying Miles, Miles Miles Miles in that specific tone cannot be good.

Zofiel? He sounds kind of scared or smth? Wheres your fucking power when we need it?

He's hitting Rufio with his sword and it's like killing a child, he's just a teenager pretending to be a badass but he's actually just got 3 down hairs on his lip and doesn't know how to properly smoke.

Tim rolling a lot of dice! Yay!

Wow sword bisected and torpored though, nice job Miles. That sword is badass.

Whoooo baby, Johnny omg. You're so badass. I need to fan myself like Al middle aged Southern woman on a hot day.

We can say all we want about Neil, he might not be the raw damage dealer that the others are, but he got Wynn here, and his hiding stuff is clutch!! Also I know it's been a while but remember when he made it easier for Johnny to resist frenzying for like 3 months. That was clutch! (I know there's no point in me defending Neil here, we all love him, I'm preaching to the choir)

Oh no. Lex is letting them have freebies, I don't trust it. Bad stuff is coming. If not this fight then the next one.

Weeping bear???? Wtf. I'm almost there on my relisten too. 😂

Beserker merit? Reduce by 3??!!!?? Holy freaking fuck. That is so good!!!

Ohhh we're basically getting canary mode? Damn. So cool.

The blood is so bad it hurts the special armour? That's not Good.

The bullets are consumed by an en tropic field??? They're just freaking dusted like in endgame? Damn that is not great.

He feels sick??? No! Not my baby sweating!!! Hell have to throw away that suit!!!! 😔

They fight so well together now! Like it's almost instinctual. Love that for them, hopefully it will keep them alive.

I feel like I don't know enough about combat and vtm lore to know how bad this fight is. Because honestly it doesn't seem that bad, they keep killing folks, they're all laughing and it doesn't sound like the panicked hysterical laughter yet (I could be wrong though) but then we have them running and throwing dead bodies at a nun with an entropy shield, and that sounds very bad??

Okay that is a lie, I know it has to be bad, but the vibe isn't that bad!!

That no did sound very panicked. And bone rafting has to be bad right??? Isn't that what Vito did??

Fuck yeah Wynn!!!!

They were all so good!!! 😍😍😍 (Neil did his best, you guys!)

Lmaooo I clearly didn't understand how bad this fight was until the after credit scene. 😂😂😂 Holy hell!!! "Are you touching your weapon to her?!?" it would just be gone??? That's crazy! He hardly got to swing it at all!!!

I know he's going into torpor within 24 hours but it feels like a fair trade.

[sapphicscience]

being that you are yourself and have full access to the context of what you post and what your values are I get how the Misandry Includes Trans Men type posts seem like equally as frivolous(?) as more general man-hating but to the random trans person passing by it really just comes over as like a cis person gleefully taking the oportunity to punch down using the cover of their purported support for trans women.

specifically in the way of like "no see i care about the members of this marginalised group in crisis who are Also marginalised in the way I am so joking that i hate the rest of them is fine". with a passing (lol) familiarity with your posts I wouldn't assume your support/love shared for trans women is false or you actually hold malice to any trans people - misogynist class traitors and other bigots non withstanding - but it just feels very tonedeaf and callous.

ftr, i absolutely agree with you about man-hating lesbianism and i don't think centring trans women/transfems/et al in one's feminism and/or lesbianism is like bad in any way (long overdue in many cases, frankly!) but if you are a cis person you're still a cis person, you know what I mean? it holds very different inferences compared to Actual Trans Women talking about (whether criticising seriously or more casually blowing off steam) the myriad of ways in which they are themselves mistreated on an intracommunity level. unlike cis people (women included, infamously) they aren't part of the group marginalising and enacting violence on our whole community, the fact it's the worst for trans women (on any number of levels and for any number of reasons) doesn't mean tme trans people arent also in a completely terrifying situation as well.

sorry for the long and probably weird message, from anon interactions i've seen you have before you seem like you would give this kind of perspective thought even if we ultimately disagree on whether this kind of thing like. matters but if it came over hostile or agressive in anyway that was not intentional and i absolutely apologise!

also congrats on the milfs and whatever, get it boss 🫡

no this is very fair. I think I was thinking of it more in the context of Tumblr Discourse, in which there are a lot of people implying or outright stating that trans men are exempt from misogyny, or that trans men are somehow "Men Lite(TM)." but I definitely get how it looks in the context of Everything Happening In The World Right Now. I do love and cherish the trans men in my life, and I don't want to come across otherwise! (though I will say there are also some that I've distanced myself from because they seemed to gleefully take up a Dirtbag Bro persona upon transitioning, like, I've seen this shit firsthand too.)

my one point of disagreement here is that I don't think trans men's misogyny is solely an intracommunity trans issue; just as, say, men of color aren't exempt from misogyny against white women, trans men aren't exempt from misogyny against cis women. calling them out specifically in this case was probably unnecessary, though, I agree.

anyway. I think overall you are right about this one and I appreciate you taking the time to send this! honestly it's very possible that, like, hanging around with people who are almost exclusively trans in my household and general irl personal life has made me a little too comfortable hopping in on these conversations lol. so I will think on that!

also thanks lmao 😎

[sayakxmi]

[Magi reread] Night 73: Rukh's Will

I feel like this shot looks a little better.

The only valid reaction at this point ngl.

Literally never paid enough attention to realize there are human silhouettes

Well, NOW I can tell

Cute, and tbh I'm absolutely reading too much into this, but Aladdin looks kinda sad, so I suspect he KNOWS.

Alibaba thinking about Cassim;;;

Anise genes are strong af. All Rashid gave Alibaba is hair color, the horn and insecurity.

That. Smile.

YEET

Love it, but it also makes me think that the pairings go as follows: Alibaba (Amon's a Heat Djinn) + Aladdin (Heat Magician), Kougyoku (Vinea's a Water Djinn) + Judar (Water Magician) and Hakuryuu (Zagan & Belial are both Lfie Djinns) + Titus (Life Magician). Idk, made me think about combos when I read that, and it's kinda funny that all the main KVs have a fitting Magi.

RIP Sinbad

Alibaba... really tends to get caught by some weird tentacles, huh.

Bye

This action will have severe consequences.

Like, seriously, do you ever think how if Judar hadn't been shown this by Aladdin, he probably wouldn't have left Al-Thamen for real & team up with Hakuryuu? Like, maybe he would've, but he would've been still under Al-Thamen's control in some ways, like, I doubt he would've put his all into supporting Hakuryuu. Before that he was just vibing. Now he has a goal and it's revenge, which is what unites them later on. Not to mention, Judar was kinda Meh magician before (probably cuz Al-Thamen, I recall some extra abt him having to practice magic in secret), so he would've been much weaker.

Anyway, all I'm saying is, Aladdin created his own most powerful adversary, and I think that's neat. Wouldn't have it any other way.

Enlightened. In the worst way.

The more you look at these panels, the sadder it gets. And I'm starting to think about them more, and I'm starting to get sadder, too. Like. Lil Judar reaching towards his father. His dad is crying, his mom, too, but she's smiling, probably trying to console him. Do you think lilttle Judar is crying, because he can tell something is wrong? Or maybe he's laughing, because he doesn't fully realize the danger?

Did he reach him just in time to get killed? Oh my god.

There's blood on his blanket. His parents' blood. God.

No shit dude gets immediate breakdown, who wouldn't.

Man, I didn't come here to be sad for Judar.

THAT'S what I'm here for. Oh man.

What do I even say

What a fucking mess, man

The thing is. I don't think Alibaba's ever suspected that Cassim actually hated him. Least of all that he hated him the most. Their relationship was a mess, and Alibaba knew it was a mess, like, since post-palace Cassim had treated him awfully from what we've seen. There's no way Alibaba didn't understand at least that Cassim was angry with him. But to actually hate him? And what's more...

...to hate him since they were kids? If it started later, then at least Alibaba could've reasoned it in some way, like after Mariam's death, because Alibaba was gone when they needed him etc, but sinec they were kids? What had Alibaba done to earn this? If it's not something he'd done, then the only thing left is that it was just... him. That Cassim hated him for the way he was.

Which is exactly what it is. I'll never get over their (and also Hakuryuu & Alibaba, bc they share some similarities) mess of a relationship. Because as much as Cassim hates Alibaba, he loves him just as much. It probably infuriates him even more.

Sorry for sending the entire page, but I'm near photo limit, so I had to make some changes.

The sheer irony is that half of the time it was Cassim keeping him safe. Because the fucker couldn't make up his heart whether he really wanted Alibaba ruined or to remain as pure as possible. God.

Bro's traumatized. Can't blame him. Imagine the last living member of your family who's also been your best friend since forever & you love him more than anything & you spent half of your life confused about him betraying you and then justifying that, because you cannot even consider an idea that he could've actually wanted to hurt you, only for him to just say straight to your face that nah he hates your guys and wants to fuck you up as much as possible.

The root of Cassim's anger is his self-hatred, and that just breaks me a little. His self-loathing is just that bad, and the world made him feel like trash, and so did the trauma, and so did his childhood near Alibaba who'd had an opportunity to be a happy kid unlike him, just reminding him how different they were. Man.

Can we just talk how Aladdin is in the middle of fighting Judar & he still does everything he can to guide Alibaba?

Neat image.

And that's the horrifying part. The fact that these are his real feelings. And it will hurt. But only Alibaba can do something about it now.

I fucking love this image. And the whole, "You're my candidate to be king!". Like, Aladdin is embracing his role of a Magi, now that he truly understands it, and he chooses Alibaba. Because of course he does. And the contrast between Alibaba and Cassim... Ughh, that's the good stuff.

I could probably talk more, but I have to go now, but anyway, man, I love this series.

[introvertedlass]

You are honestly the most reasonable blog on here (that believes in PR). Some of the others I've seen used to be respectable but now are veering scarily/dangerously towards Qanon, which is a shame, bc it's discrediting a lot of good blogs who understand PR in HW is hardly an abnormality.

PR stunts/relationships are supposed to make the audience confused as to whether or not it's real or not. That's kind of the point.

Back in 2020, I remember seeing Ana De Armas and Ben pop up and for months, I went back and forth wondering about them. On the one hand, they were doing pap walks daily and annoying literally everyone with how seemingly out of touch they were (not staying inside, not wearing their masks correctly, just being extra all around), but it just went on, and she kept getting involved in things with him, and she showed up places with him and I honestly just wondered if "she was the new one" after his divorce with Jen Garner. Then they broke up and I look back thinking, oh yeah, that was a stunt that lasted too long.

I don't follow Sebastian or Henry's careers/lives, but I did follow a Tumblr blog that posted daily about their relationships. Sebastian's thing also gave me Ana/Ben vibes bc at times I was like, is this real? Then it felt fake with all the pap walks. But then every time the blog would post more updates about "sightings" from DM - and there would actually be candids of him/her at a park or walking somewhere (blurry from the back). I think Celeb-as-fuck was the blog detailing everything because she was a fan of him, but anyways, they had a lot of tracking on this and everyone was riled up EVERYTIME something would happen. It also seemed to last on and on and they didn't appear to be breaking up, so I was like, hmm. Maybe it is real. They eventually broke up so it's not a big deal anymore, but their relationship, as many ppl have said, at times very much reminds me of this CE/AB situation.

On the flip side, CE/Lily James def felt like a one-and-done PR stunt but what was weird was him appearing in the UK a month after and seemingly being near her, and there was some hotel that followed them both at the same time and that got real weird. We all know how that ended so it seemed like it was just a fluke situation. Though, NGL, I remember thinking: "If Henry/Sebastian/Ben Affleck are in these relationships, I wonder how long it'll be before it happens to Chris Evans?"

I REALLY regret thinking that LOL...but I did wonder. I just had a feeling it was going to happen to him as well bc he was the ultimate internet BF for so long, and perpetually single to the public. I had weird thoughts that celebs were going too off the rails during peak COVID for it to just be a bunch of privileged ppl acting out of touch. Something was in the water and it wasn't just COVID-19. The industry was floundering and they needed to make some huge commotions to stay relevant.

Again, none of this really matters. But I really stand by my thoughts that in HW, nothing is really what it seems. And I DO think that celebs will go as far to PR engagement and marriage (RE: Kim K and Kris Humphries) if they need to prove a point. I know some other blogs on here keep spouting out that stuff doesn't happen anymore, but I'm not terribly convinced that these charades can't still happen. I do also believe that celebs can be in a PR relationship/marriage while having secret/private lives BTS. Anything is sadly possible in this industry, which is exactly why you continue to hear celebs go on podcasts, write memoirs, even do-tell 2020 style interviews where they all mention, "This industry" in cryptic ways. They're all alluding to the shit that goes on but they can't necessarily say it out loud. But you know if they could, they would.

I've always thought his interaction with Lily was to be his PR rs. That sighting with them was around the same time as Seb and Ale.

Also, thank you for kind words. I try to be level-headed by I certainly have my moments, too and have to rein myself in.