#still feels like it got stuck in a certain genre of music though... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lovetaroandtaemin · 2 months ago

Text

Roses

Xiao Dejun x Reader

Word Count: 7,100 Genre: Angst, Fluff, Non-idol AU Rating: Adult themes, MINORS DNI!

Summary: Dejun has an intense crush on Y/N, his best friend's girlfriend, but knows that he can never tell her. When Y/N and Kun get into an argument, however, and Dejun is the first person that Y/N calls for comfort, repressed feelings come to light. Will the relationship last, or will the wounds of the past drive a wedge between them?

Warnings: Incredibly toxic relationship, objectification, mentions of sex but no smut, technically cheating, making out, using sex as a coping mechanism, unhealthy coping mechanisms in general, panic attacks, you could probably describe the way Reader reacts to certain things as PTSD symptoms, angst with no happy ending. If you think I missed a warning, please let me know!

A/N: So this fic happened because I had Roses by Shawn Mendes and Roses by Jaehyun stuck in my head at the same time, and I wanted to see if I could write something that would connect the two songs into one story. I love both Shawn and Jaehyun's music, and I love writing fics inspired by songs, so this was a really fun challenge for me! I really hope y'all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Permanent taglist: @xomakara

Fic is under the cut.

Dejun knew that the way he felt about you could only end in heartbreak for him. Did that stop his crush on you, though? Absolutely not. Sure, you were his best friend’s girlfriend, and he knew that he probably would never be with you, but that didn’t change the fact that he thought about you all the time. He knew that you would never think about him the same way, though, so he was planning to take his feelings for you to his grave.

Keeping his crush on you a secret only got harder for Dejun, however, when Kun brought you to dinner with the rest of their friend group to celebrate Sicheng getting a promotion at work. Dejun knew that you would be there, of course, since everyone was bringing their partners, but knowing that he would see you never quite seemed to prepare him for how beautiful you were.

When Dejun saw you walk into the restaurant, he couldn’t help but stare. Your hair was done in an elegant updo, your makeup was simple but still looked amazing, and the bright blue dress you wore to match Kun’s tie showed your body off perfectly. You were beautiful, and Dejun could only hope that you knew it.

You were honestly dreading dinner with your boyfriend and his friends. Sure, you got along well with Kun’s friends, but your relationship with Kun wasn’t what it used to be. When you first started dating, he was such a gentleman. He treated you with nothing but respect and kindness, never let a day go by without telling you how beautiful he thought you were, and generally made you feel more loved than you ever had.

As your relationship went on, however, the way Kun treated you only got worse. For example, he didn’t even try to hold the door for you when you entered the restaurant for dinner, even though you weren’t far behind him. You also couldn’t remember the last time he’d said something nice about you that didn’t have anything to do with sex or your body, and you would have been lying to yourself if you said that it didn’t hurt to be treated like nothing more than an object.

When you greeted Kun’s friends, they all smiled and hugged you, and you felt a weight lift off of your shoulders. If you were being honest with yourself, part of the reason that you’d stayed with Kun for so long, even after your relationship seemed to go to shit, was how close you’d gotten to his friends. You were especially close to Yangyang and Dejun. In the years that you’d known them, they’d made it abundantly clear that you could talk to them anytime you were having a problem. Plus, their goofy songs and bad jokes never failed to make you smile.

You knew that it was wrong, especially because of how close he was to your boyfriend, but sometimes, you couldn’t help but think that Dejun was incredibly attractive, too. His smile gave you butterflies, and he was never anything but kind and respectful to you.

It was probably crazy for you to think this, but you were fairly sure that Dejun liked you too. Every time you talked to him, without fail, you noticed a faint blush on his cheeks. You also frequently caught him checking you out when he thought that you and Kun weren’t really paying attention, and he made a point to compliment you every time he saw you. For example, when he greeted you at dinner, he said, “You look great tonight, you know. The eyeshadow you’re wearing really makes your eye color pop.”

“Thank you, Dejun. It’s nice to have someone appreciate the effort I put into my appearance.” Kun gave you a dirty look when you said that, but you pretended not to notice. You loved your boyfriend, sure, but it was also nice to have someone notice you beyond your sex appeal.

Maybe he was going crazy, but Dejun was certain that he saw you blush when he complimented your makeup. Was it possible that you were into him? For a long time, he’d been fairly certain that you weren’t, especially when he considered the fact that you were dating Kun. When he saw the look in your eyes and the blush on your cheeks, however, it made him wonder. If you really did like him, maybe that meant he didn’t have to keep hiding how he felt about you.

Throughout dinner, although he was there to celebrate with Sicheng, Dejun consistently found himself getting distracted by you. He did a decent job maintaining conversations with his friends, of course, but he ended up not-so-discreetly staring at you every time someone wasn’t addressing him directly. He could only hope that Kun didn’t notice.

Kun definitely noticed the way Dejun was looking at you. That much was clear from the way he gripped your arm tighter and made small comments about you being “his girl” more frequently than he typically would when you two went out. You wanted to reassure him that everyone at the table knew that you were his girl, but you knew that nothing you could say would get him to calm down.

Conflicts like the one you knew you would have to deal with when you went home happened a lot when you and Kun went out with his friends. He would be absolutely certain one of his friends liked you, you’d try to reassure him, it wouldn’t work, and you would have sex as soon as you got home so that he could “remind you who you belong to.” The constant arguing was tiring, but the sex was always incredible when Kun was angry, if you were being honest. So, you didn’t really mind the stress in the end, even though you probably should have.

Dinner ended with a toast to Sicheng’s new job. You tried to distract yourself with the celebration of a new chapter in your friend’s life, but you couldn’t think about anything but Kun’s hand, which had moved from your arm to your thigh. Every time he saw Dejun look at you, Kun gripped your leg tighter. By the time you were both ready to leave, he was gripping you so tightly that you were in pain, and not the good kind.

Kun let go of you when everyone got up from the table, and like an idiot, you thought that everything would be ok. The thought was immediately replaced with concerns for how the rest of your night would go, however, when he grabbed your hand instead, with the exact same tight grip that he’d had when he had his hand on your thigh. You tried to turn away from him to say goodbye to your mutual friends, but before you could, you were being dragged out of the restaurant by your boyfriend.

Dejun saw the way that Kun treated you throughout dinner, and his blood boiled. He knew that his friend had a jealous streak, as indicated by the fact that he pretty much exclusively referred to you as his girl when the entire friend group got together, but the look on your face as you left the restaurant made Dejun want nothing more than to give Kun a piece of his mind and show you that you deserved better. This wasn’t the time for that, though. He didn’t want to even try unless he knew for sure that you felt the same way he did, since the thought of making you even slightly uncomfortable made him feel awful.

When you got home, the argument didn’t start right away like you expected. Instead, Kun made simple small talk with you by asking, “So, how was your food?”

“It was good. What I ended up ordering was different from what I usually get, but I still liked it a lot. How was your food, honey?”

Kun softened when he heard the sweet nickname leave your mouth. He loved when you called him “honey,” and you knew it. A soft smile appeared on his face, and he said, “Same as always.”

“I guess that means you enjoyed it?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Are you ok, honey?”

“I’m ok, sweetheart. Just thinking about some stuff.”

“What is it?”

“Did you see the way that Dejun was looking at you tonight?”

“No. I wasn’t paying attention, really. Why do you ask?”

“Oh, it’s nothing. I just wish he understood that you’re mine,” Kun said, venom dripping from every word. Unsure of what to say, you just stayed silent. He didn’t like that however, so he asked, “Are you seriously not going to say anything?”

“What am I supposed to say? We’ve already had this exact argument a thousand times, and no matter what I say, it doesn’t change.”

“Maybe you could apologize for making me look like a fool in front of all of my friends?”

“When did I make you look like a fool?”

“Thank you, Dejun. It’s nice to have someone appreciate the effort I put into my appearance,” Kun repeated, mocking what you’d said at dinner.

“I wouldn’t have said it if you actually liked me beyond wanting to fuck me!”

“You have to know that isn’t true.”

“Well, I fucking don’t, Kun.”

The argument continued for what felt like hours before Kun thought it would be a good idea to grab your ass and try to pull you into a kiss. You pushed him away, though, still far too angry for intimacy. A small part of you felt guilty afterward because of the hurt look on his face, but a larger part of you was too exhausted by the constant fighting to care anymore.

Kun started to speak after you pushed him away, but before he got the words out, you stopped him and said, “Go home. I’m not doing this anymore tonight.” After that, he left your apartment without a word.

Once Kun was out of your apartment, the first thing that you did was call Dejun. He answered immediately, asking, “Are you ok?”

You tried to hide the storm brewing inside of you, but your voice broke when you said, “Yeah, I’m fine. Are you busy?”

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s a lot. Can you just come over?”

“Yeah, of course. Isn’t Kun there, though?”

You started to cry harder at the mention of your boyfriend, and Dejun cursed himself for asking about Kun. Once you regained your composure, though, you said, “No. He just left.”

“Ok. Well, I’m on my way.”

“Thank you.”

The moment Dejun hung up the phone, he got ready to leave. He probably broke several traffic laws to get to your apartment, but he really didn’t care about that. All he cared about was being there for you when you clearly needed someone in your corner. As he drove, a small part of him wondered what had happened that upset you so much. He figured that something had happened with Kun, given how much you cried at just the mention of your boyfriend’s name, but he didn’t know more than that. He did know that asking was a bad idea, though.

When Dejun got to your apartment, he softly knocked on your door. There was a moment of silence while he waited for you to answer, and during that time, he started to wonder about what could have happened and whether you were ok. He didn’t have a whole lot of time to think about it, however, because you answered the door pretty quickly.

When you opened the door and saw Dejun, you couldn’t help but smile. He really dropped everything in the middle of the night so that he could spend time with you while you were hurting. Your own boyfriend never even did that for you. The thought stung a little bit, and you couldn’t help but wonder if you were really willing to keep putting up with the way that Kun had treated you for so long. Leaving him wasn’t exactly ideal, but to be fair, neither was being treated more like a trophy than a girlfriend.

You were pulled out of your thoughts by Dejun asking, “(Y/N)? Are you ok?”

“I’m ok, Dejun. Thank you for coming over so quickly,” you said as you moved out of the way to let him into your apartment.

“It’s no problem, really. I’m happy to be there for you however you need me to be,” he said, pulling you into a tight hug. You immediately melted into his arms, relieved to just be held.

Both of you were quiet for a few minutes as you each relaxed into the other’s embrace. You were the first one to break the comfortable silence that had formed, asking, “So, do you wanna watch a movie?”

“That sounds great. Anything specific that you had in mind?”

“I don’t really know. I was thinking that we could just look for something on Netflix?”

“That works for me,” Dejun replied with a smile.

The two of you spent what felt like an eternity searching for a movie to watch. In the end, you settled on a rom com that neither of you had ever heard of before. The synopsis that Netflix showed for the movie sounded compelling, though, so you and Dejun both figured it couldn’t be too boring.

Oh, how wrong you both were. The story was bland, the acting was terrible, and neither of you cared to continue watching it. The only enjoyable thing about watching the movie was the fact that you were watching it with Dejun. For the entirety of the awful movie, he held you close, and the two of you took turns making snarky comments about the film.

“Oh my god, why are you doing this to yourself, you dumb bitch!” you yelled at the screen as the female lead took her toxic ex back once again.

“People do crazy things for love,” Dejun said with a laugh.

“There’s a difference between crazy and stupid, though!”

“I guess you’re right,” Dejun replied, thinking about how good it felt to hold you close and how you seemed just as content as he was.

With the main couple being reunited for the third time, the worst movie you’d seen in a long time was finally over. You didn’t want your time with Dejun to end with the movie, however, so you asked, “Do you want to listen to music and talk for a bit?”

“I’d love to,” Dejun answered.

You put on a random playlist from your Spotify library, and once again, a comfortable silence settled over you as you got lost in thoughts of Dejun. You knew that it was wrong, but you found yourself far more attracted to him than you ever were to your boyfriend. Sure, you loved Kun, at least you thought you did, but Dejun made you feel like he loved you in a way that Kun didn’t even try to anymore.

You snapped out of your thoughts when Dejun asked, “Are you feeling better?”

With a soft smile, you replied, “Yes. I am. Thank you.”

With confirmation that you were in fact ok, Dejun decided that now was the time to tell you how he really felt. With a deep breath to calm his anxiety, he asked, “Would it be ok to ask something a bit personal?”

“Yeah, of course. Is everything ok?” you asked, wondering what was going on.

“Are you happy with him?”

There was a deafening silence after Dejun asked the one question that you did not want to answer in that moment. Truthfully, you weren’t. You hadn’t been for a long time, and you knew that the only way to be happier was to leave Kun. The idea of having to start over after four and a half years was incredibly daunting, however. That was a big part of the reason that you stayed with him despite how badly you wanted to leave.

You opened your mouth to answer Dejun’s question, but when you tried to speak, you started to cry instead. When he heard you cry, he immediately regretted asking. In a panic, he said, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“I’m really not. I haven’t been for a long time.”

“Talk to me.”

That was when you decided to tell him the truth. The whole truth. You started with why you’d asked him to come over, explaining, “We got in another argument.”

“What do you mean, ‘another?’” Dejun asked.

“Every time we go out with you and the rest of our friends, Kun leaves absolutely certain that one of you is attracted to me. No matter how many times I reassure him, he insists that it’s true.”

Dejun was shocked by your admission. Sure, he’d figured that you and Kun had a fight, and he saw the way that Kun treated you at dinner, but he had no idea just how unhealthy your relationship had gotten. He also had no idea what to say to comfort you, so he just hugged you as you started to cry.

You told Dejun everything as you cried, from what Kun had said about your comment at dinner to the way your arguments typically ended. Dejun was horrified, to say the least. He’d known Kun for most of his life, and he never thought that the man he called his best friend would be capable of treating someone he claimed to love the way he’d treated you.

When Dejun was certain that you were done explaining, he looked at you with a few stray tears in his eyes and said, “I’m so sorry.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, though.”

“But you guys got into an argument because of the way I treated you at dinner.”

“Junnie, I promise you that it’s not your fault. If it hadn’t been you, it would’ve been someone else.”

“But this time it wasn’t just his jealousy talking,” Dejun whispered.

You were silent for a moment before you asked, “What do you mean?”

“Do you want the truth?” he asked. You nodded, and he continued, “I’ve liked you for a long time. I never said anything because I thought you were happy with Kun, but now that I know how he treats you, I can’t keep quiet anymore. I know that I could make you happier if you gave me a chance.”

You would have been lying if you’d said that you were surprised by Dejun’s confession. Sure, the timing caught you by surprise, but you’d had a feeling that he liked you for a while. Still, his confession gave you a lot to think about. Were you ready to finally end your relationship with Kun?

In the end, you decided that you were. You were tired of being treated the way you were, and you desperately wanted to be with someone that you knew would treat you with more respect than Kun did. In a moment that you hoped you wouldn’t regret; you wrapped your arms around Dejun’s neck and kissed him.

Dejun was definitely taken by surprise, to say the least, but he wasn’t exactly disappointed that you kissed him, either. After all, he’d liked you for a long time. Finally having confirmation that you liked him too made him happier than he’d been in months.

When you pulled away from the kiss, you smiled and said, “If that wasn’t enough proof, I like you too, Junnie.”

With a soft smile on his face, Dejun said, “I like when you call me Junnie. It’s cute.”

“You’re cute.”

“Well, you’re adorable.”

You blushed at his words and asked, “Will you stay here tonight?”

“Yeah, of course. I just need to go back to my apartment and grab a few things. Will you be ok while I do that?”

“I’ll be ok. I think while you do that I’m gonna call Kun and tell him it’s over.”

“Do you need me to stay so that you have a little bit of extra support?”

“I’ll be ok, Junnie. Just knowing you’ll be coming back here is enough.”

“Ok. I’ll be back soon. If you need anything at all, just send me a message, and I’ll be back as soon as possible. Ok?”

“Ok.”

Dejun quickly pecked your cheek and went back to his apartment. While Dejun was gone, you called Kun. When he answered, he was much sweeter than he’d been before he left your apartment, asking, “What’s up, princess?”

You almost chickened out when he called you princess, but just like you knew it would, the thought of Dejun coming back strengthened your resolve. With a deep breath, you said, “It’s over.”

“What do you mean?”

“Our relationship. It’s over.”

In an instant, Kun’s demeanor shifted, and he asked, “Are you fucking serious? After everything I’ve done for you?”

“By ‘what you’ve done for me,’ do you mean treating me like the dirt under your shoe unless you want something? Or do you mean insisting that your friends are into me every time we go out so that you can initiate sex to remind me ‘who I belong to?’”

“I did not-”

“Don’t even try to defend yourself. We’re done.”

Once Kun realized you were serious, he asked, “You know that no one will ever love you like I did, right?” in a last-ditch attempt to get you to stay.

“For my sake, I hope you’re right,” you replied as you hung up for the last time.

Of course, you were relieved that your relationship with Kun was over, but you were still upset that you had to end the relationship in the first place. Sure, you knew that it was for the best, but you also knew that you’d been in a relationship with Kun for a long time, and jumping right into whatever was happening with Dejun was honestly a little bit scary.

You didn’t have to be alone with your anxiety for long, though, since Dejun got back to your apartment just a few minutes after your call with Kun ended. When you opened the door, you noticed that he was holding something behind his back. You wanted to ask him what it was, but before you could, he asked, “How did the call go?”

“It went fine, I guess. Kun and I are officially done now.”

“Good, because I have a surprise for you.”

“What do you-”

Before you could even finish your sentence, Dejun pulled a bouquet of bright red roses out from behind his back. You started to tear up just a little bit when you saw them, but you did maintain your composure long enough to ask, “When did you get these?”

“After I grabbed some stuff from my apartment. I made an extra stop on the way back here.”

Dejun handed you the roses, and you carefully placed them on the table. Then, he pulled you into a hug, and you started to cry once again. Whether they were tears of pain at the end of your relationship or tears of relief that you weren’t going to be mistreated anymore, you couldn’t really say. Regardless, Dejun was right there, holding you close as you cried until you couldn’t anymore.

When Dejun was certain that you were no longer crying, he carefully let go of you and asked, “Will you be ok long enough for me to go to the kitchen and get you a glass of water?”

“Of course. Thank you, Junnie.”

“It’s no problem, sweetheart. Which cabinet do you keep glasses in?”

“The one directly above the stove.”

“I’ll be right back, ok?”

“Ok.”

While you waited for Dejun to come back from the kitchen, you decided to sit down on your couch and focus on keeping yourself calm. It worked mostly, though a few more surprise tears did still slip out. With that being said, you were already starting to feel better about the breakup. You’d spent years being an emotional punching bag for Kun, and now here you were in your living room with a man that held you when you cried and was happy to take care of you when you needed someone.

When Dejun came back, he held a glass of water in each hand. One of them was carefully placed on the table to keep it from spilling, and the other was placed directly in your hands. With a slightly stern look on his face, he said, “Drink. You need it.”

You did as you were instructed, taking a long sip from your glass before setting it next to the other one on the table. With a smile on your face, you said, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Taking care of me today.”

“You don’t need to thank me for that.”

“Yes I do.” There was a moment of silence before you added, “Sit down, Junnie. Please?”

“Alright,” he said with a chuckle. Once he found a comfortable position next to you, you leaned your head on his shoulder and let out a sigh of relief that the chaos of the day was finally over. As you relaxed with Dejun, the two of you talked about pretty much everything as a way to keep your mind off of Kun. And for the most part, it worked. Sure, every so often you would remember something that you did with your now ex and get upset, but Dejun was right there to comfort you with forehead kisses and terrible jokes.

After a while, though, you started to get really tired. So, you asked, “Can we go to sleep now?”

“Sure, sweetheart.”

You slowly stood up from your place on the couch and put the roses that Dejun had given you earlier into a vase filled with water. Once they were carefully positioned on your kitchen counter, you went to your bedroom to change into your favorite set of pajamas. Dejun decided to change in your bathroom, and once you were both fully dressed again, he joined you in your room.

While finding a comfortable position to sleep in was a little bit challenging at first, it didn’t take long for you and Dejun to settle in. Before you went to sleep, though, you looked up at him and said, “Seriously, thank you for being there for me today. I don’t think I could have broken up with Kun if you weren’t in my corner.”

“I’ll always be in your corner.”

You smiled at the reassurance from Dejun and kissed his cheek. He kissed your forehead to return the favor, and you said, “Good night, Junnie.”

“Good night, sweetheart.”

The next morning, you woke up slightly confused as to why there was another person in your bed. Then you started to remember the events of the night before and relaxed, content to stay in Dejun’s arms until he woke up.

Dejun woke up not long after you did, and the first thing he said to you was, “Good morning, gorgeous.”

“Stop,” you groaned, embarrassed by the early morning affection.

“But you are gorgeous.”

You smiled at the compliment and kissed Dejun’s cheek. He blushed at the small gesture and hugged you tighter, and you couldn’t help but feel giddy at the sweet way he was acting toward you. Not wanting it to end, you asked, “So, does last night mean that we’re a thing now?”

“I mean I thought so. Otherwise, this is about to get really awkward,” he responded with a chuckle.

“I thought so, too. I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page,” you said before kissing him again.

Dejun melted into the kiss, and you couldn’t help but tangle your hands in his hair. A soft moan left his mouth, which you liked more than you thought you would. Before the two of you could go too much further, though, your phone rang.

With a groan, you sat up to see who was calling you. When you saw Kun’s number on your screen, however, you silenced your phone and sighed.

“Who was it?” Dejun asked.

“Take a guess,” you said with a laugh.

“Did he seriously call you?”

“Yeah. I know I should have been mature about it and answered, but I really do not want to talk to him anymore.”

“Did you leave anything at his apartment?”

“No, I never have.”

“Then he has no reason to talk to you.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“I know I am.”

A soft smile graced your features, and you kissed Dejun again. God, you didn’t think you could ever get tired of the way he kissed you. Whereas kisses from Kun were usually a means to an end, when Dejun kissed you, you felt the love radiating from every part of him. And if you were being completely honest with yourself, it was a relief to not be treated like an object when you were with him.

After that first night that Dejun spent at your apartment, he was rarely at his own. You loved falling asleep next to him, and he was happy to spend the night any time that you asked. And you did ask frequently.

It was actually during one of the nights that Dejun spent at your apartment that he told you he loved you for the first time. You were about to go to sleep, but just before you drifted off, you heard him say something that you couldn’t quite make out. So, you asked, “What was that, Junnie?”

“I love you.”

You almost didn’t believe him, thinking it was too good to be true, but you didn’t want to risk sounding like an asshole if you said that. So, you just smiled and said, “I love you, too.”

Dejun didn’t respond to your declaration verbally, but you didn’t need or want him to. You were perfectly content with the way he held you tighter after you told him that you loved him, and you were happy to drift off to sleep in his arms once again. This time, however, the knowledge that he loved you just like you loved him made it much easier to relax and get some rest.

While you did find a lot of comfort in just spending time with Dejun at your apartment, you also loved going out on dates with him. Your favorite place to go was a small family-owned restaurant across town. The food wasn’t always the best, and the building was often very crowded, but the little restaurant grew to basically be a second home for you and Dejun as the months went by. Pretty much everyone that worked there knew the two of you after a while, and you never left there without a smile on your face and food in your stomach that tasted like home.

One of the many things about Dejun that you loved was that he always made sure that you knew that he loved you just as much as you loved him. Sure, there were big gestures here and there, like the dress that he bought you for your birthday that you’d been eyeing at your local mall for months. But it was the little things that he did when you least expected them that really solidified how much he loved you.

Dejun’s favorite “small” way to show you that he loved you was buying you roses. He knew that it would sound cheesy if he ever told you, but it really was one of his favorite ways to show affection. The way your eyes lit up when you saw him with flowers in hand and a smile on his face made his heart do backflips in his chest every single time, no matter how long it had been since the first time he got you flowers the night your relationship became official.

Despite the good in your relationship, there were also a few things that Dejun really wanted to address with you. One of the things that he noticed pretty early on was that you tended to use sex as a coping mechanism whenever something went wrong. Even if everything in your relationship was perfect, all it took was a minor inconvenience at work and you were begging him to fuck you. He tried to raise his concerns, since he didn’t want you to turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms when he was happy to help you find a healthier outlet for your emotions, but you panicked in the middle of the conversation.

If you were being honest with yourself, you knew that the way you handled your emotions wasn’t exactly healthy. It was what you were used to, however, due to a number of situations in previous relationships. As you listened to Dejun’s explanation of why he was worried about you, you started to think about those relationships and how no one had ever cared about you as much as Dejun did. The thought led to a downward spiral as you started to wonder whether you actually deserved to be with the man that you loved, and a few stray tears fell from your eyes.

The moment you started to cry, Dejun pulled you close and said, “Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’ve just been so worried, and I thought talking about it might help.”

“It’s ok,” you responded in between sobs. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“Don’t apologize, love. Do you want to talk about what’s going on?”

“I don’t even know where to start.”

“That’s ok. Just breathe for me, ok?”

You nodded and took a deep breath. As your sobs started to slow, you looked at Dejun and said, “I don’t think I deserve you.”

Dejun was quiet for a moment before he said, “You deserve the best, love. I only wish I could give it to you.”

“Don’t say that, Junnie. You are the best. That’s why I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

The two of you just sat in silence after that, both of you unsure of how to continue the conversation. It was kind of odd if you were being completely honest with yourself. Even on the exceedingly rare occasions that you and Dejun argued, there was never an awkward silence like the one that plagued you after your admission that you felt like you didn’t deserve him. You started to wonder if you’d done something wrong when you said it, but you just weren’t sure what to do. Regardless, you wanted to solve the problems that you’d noticed popping up here and there in your relationship.

For a long time, you did put in a conscious effort to learn better coping skills, and it really paid off. All of your effort started to feel like it was all for nothing, however, when you and Dejun went to your local mall for a date and ran into your ex.

Kun was just as surprised to see you as you were to see him. Regardless of his surprise, however, he really wanted to try to talk to you. He regretted how he’d treated you when you were together, and a small part of him hoped that he could make it up to you.

“Hi, (Y/N),” Kun said, hoping that his voice didn’t betray how nervous he was.

You instinctively gripped Dejun’s hand tighter before you asked, “What do you want?”

“I just wanted to know if you’d like to catch up. It’s been a while, and I miss you,” Kun said, an exaggerated pout forming on his face.

“No, thanks. I’m not interested,” you replied.

“Come on, (Y/N). Please?”

“She said no, asshole,” Dejun interjected, letting go of your hand to step closer to Kun.

“Whatever,” Kun said as he walked away.

When Dejun was certain that Kun was gone, he turned to you and pulled you into a tight hug, asking, “Are you ok?”

“I’m ok, Junnie,” you responded. “Thank you for sticking up for me.”

“I always will, love.”

With the mood of your date night ruined, you asked Dejun to take you home earlier than you’d originally planned. He readily agreed, disappointed that your date was over but understanding that you needed space to recharge.

When you finally got back to your apartment, you softly kissed Dejun’s cheek and told him you loved him. He told you once again that he loved you and to text him if you needed anything. You halfheartedly agreed and shut the door so that you could cry in peace.

After your run-in with Kun, your relationship with Dejun only seemed to get worse. The two of you argued constantly over everything from his lack of understanding when memories of your previous relationship wouldn’t leave your mind to your lack of trust in him as a result of everything that you’d been through. Even the little habits that Dejun had previously told you that he’d loved seemed to set him off after a while, and you started to wonder if your relationship had run its course.

You knew for sure that your relationship with Dejun was pretty much over when he stopped getting you roses when you went on dates. From the moment the two of you made it official, he’d bought you roses for every single date. Even if it was just a casual hangout at the park by your apartment building. When you got there, he was holding a bouquet of roses in what had become your favorite shade of red. You didn’t entirely know why it changed, but for your last several dates, there were no roses. He didn’t even acknowledge it or give some excuse like forgetting to stop at the store before your date. They just stopped.

You wanted to ask Dejun why he’d stopped doing the little things like buying you flowers, but you were concerned about sounding too needy. After all, any time you tried to talk to Kun about the way he treated you, he called you a crazy bitch and treated you like a burden for wanting something different than what he gave you. Deep down, you knew that Dejun was different and would never treat you the way Kun had, but your fear of being hurt again tended to rule over any kind of logic when you were upset.

In the end, there was no massive fight about why Dejun didn’t seem to want to be there for you anymore like you were expecting. In fact, the end of your relationship was much more aptly described as a subtle fading away than an explosion of emotions. Instead of a screaming match that left both of you angry and in tears, there was a simple conversation.

“I don’t think this is working,” you said.

Dejun wanted to fight for a chance to keep trying, he really did, but he saw the way that the changes in the relationship had affected you, and he didn’t want to keep you stuck. So, he just said, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. It was bound to happen.”

“Does this mean what I think it means?” he asked, his voice breaking and betraying the calm demeanor he tried to put forward for your sake.

You didn’t even answer him with words. Instead, you just nodded, trying not to break down in tears yourself.

Dejun wanted to cling to you and beg you to rethink your decision, but he knew better. He knew that the decision to end the relationship was one that you’d struggled with from the way you seemed to just deflate when you confirmed that it was indeed over, and he knew better than to push you when you’d made up your mind on something. Not wanting to continue bothering you, he just said, “I love you,” and walked out your door for the last time.

The moment Dejun was out the door, you started to sob. You knew that it was for the best, but that didn’t mean that ending your relationship with the one man that had ever treated you with respect didn’t hurt like hell.

Regardless of how badly it hurt to let Dejun go, however, you were determined to turn your pain into productivity. You started going to therapy for the first time in your life, you spent more time with your friends, and when you thought that you were ready, you decided to put yourself back out there.

Admittedly, you and Yangyang had drifted apart when your relationship with Kun ended. After you broke up with Dejun, however, the two of you grew closer than you’d ever been. Yangyang was incredibly intelligent, absolutely hilarious, and genuinely one of the kindest souls that you’d ever met. He didn’t necessarily give you the sense of safety that being with Dejun had given you, but he still made you happy. That was all that mattered to you.

It had been six months since the last time Dejun spoke to you when he saw you out with Yangyang on a random day at the mall. The sight gave him a variety of complex emotions, if he was being completely honest with himself. On one hand, he was hurt that you’d started seeing one of his friends after the two of you broke up. On the other hand, seeing you happy made him happier than you would ever know.

But, despite how happy Dejun was to see you happy, he didn’t stay at the mall long after he saw you with Yangyang. He would have to finish his shopping another day. For now, he was careful not to think about you on the drive home. Once he was back at his apartment, however, he spent most of his evening thinking about you. That wasn’t necessarily different from the norm, though. Thinking about his relationship with you was a common occurrence. He thought about what went wrong, sure, but he really tried to focus on what went right for the two of you. As he remembered the way your eyes lit up every time you told him about something exciting happening at your job, however, he couldn’t help but start to cry again.

Dejun had cried over failed relationships before, but he wasn’t still crying six months later with any of his exes. You were just special in his mind, and he was having a harder time getting over you than he’d ever had getting over an ex before. Still, he knew that time would heal this wound, too. Until then, though, while he would be happy that someone was buying you roses, he would continue to wish that he could still be the one to do it.

Thank you so much for reading! I think this might be my favorite one shot I've ever written. If you liked it too, make sure to like and reblog! If you liked it enough that you want to check out more of my work, you can find my masterlist here. If you'd like to see what else I have in the works, you can find my upcoming works list here. If none of that catches your attention, or there's something specific that you'd like to see, feel free to send me a request via asks or dms! If you'd like to be tagged whenever I upload a new fic, you can comment on one of my posts, send me a dm, or send me an ask with the username that you'd like tagged!

Thank you again for reading my fics and interacting with my blog. Every single note on one of my posts makes me so happy. I appreciate all of y'all.

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foundtherightwords · 8 months ago

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Writing Tag Game

Thanks for the tag @waterfallsilverberrywrites!

About me

When did you start writing? I've written silly little stories throughout middle school and high school, though technically I've only started writing fanfic two years ago, after I became obsessed with a certain chocolate-button-eyed British actor :)

Are there different genres or themes you enjoy reading other than the ones you write? Fantasy (I've written one fantasy AU; I want to write more though) and mysteries. Funnily enough, I write mainly romance but I don't enjoy reading romance at all (I guess that's why I started writing my own!)

Is there an author you want to emulate, or are compared to often? I wish I got compared to a famous author, lol! I write a lot of historical stuff, and other than the classical authors (Bronte and Tolstoy are the two main ones for me), I'm influenced a lot by A.S. Byatt. Her writing is so subtle and poetic at the same time, and her characters and their relationships are so complex but still feel real.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space? There's not much to tell, haha. I don't really have a "writing space", it's just either at my horribly cluttered desk or in bed.

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse? Music! Most of my stories are inspired by music (and are titled after songs/lyrics), and sometimes, when I'm stuck, a song can help a great deal in getting me inspired again.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and/or places you write about? Kind of? I've written one fic (well, a series - one long fic and a one-shot) set in my city.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? If so, do they surprise you? Loneliness and family issues. Not surprising at all 🥲

Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character? I'm currently writing for Emperor Geta (Gladiator II) so I guess he's my favorite by default. He's such an ass (probably the most asshole-ish character I've ever written, even more than Paul) but that's what makes him so fun to write!

Which of your characters would you be friends with in real life? Eddie for sure. Heck, I was basically Eddie myself in high school (minus the whole Satanic Panic thing.) And Leonard! We can discuss books and music and take long walks together. Maybe Billy too, who's such a sweetheart. Ralph would annoy me (sorry! I love him but he's too hyper for me), I don't think I have enough in common with either Tom or Michael to be friends with them, and I'd probably want to kick Arthur and Paul in the teeth :P

Which characters would you dislike the most if you met them? See above :))

Tell me about the process of coming up with your characters? Are we talking about OCs? For my female lead, mostly I try to go off from the canon character I'm pairing with her and see what traits/backstory would make them contrast and complement each other most effectively.

Do you notice any reoccurring themes/traits in your characters? Basically, all of my couples (except for Hellcheer) consist of a stoic, competent, no-nonsense woman and the pathetic man-child she takes under her wings. Also, most of my OFCs have dark hair and green eyes, I don't know why (they're not based on any real person, I just like that coloring I guess!)

How do you picture your characters? I usually don't, is that weird? Occasionally I would look for an actress or model whose appearance fits what I'm imagining for the character, but most of the time I don't bother.

My writing

What’s your reason for writing? I have stories in my head screaming to get out, I'm just obeying their voices :))

Is there any specific comment or type of comment from readers that you find particularly motivating? Any comment at all would be great at this point. But what I love the most are the comments that point out specific parts in my stories that I hope would make an impact, or pick up on Easter eggs (like the commenter who noticed that Edward and Christine's twins in the Hurstfield Hall series are named after Ozzy Osbourne and Tony Iommi of Black Sabbath!)

How do you want to be thought about by your readers? As long as they enjoy my stories, I'm happy.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer? Angst, hurt/comfort, world-building.

Have you been told is your greatest strength as a writer is by others? Angst, I guess?

How do you feel about your own writing? I go back and forth between two extremes. Sometimes I'd reread my stuff and think, Damn, I wrote that? That's not half bad! And other times I cringe so hard at my own writing I almost fold in on myself.

If you were the last person on earth, would you still write? Sure, if there was still something to write with!

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, do you write purely for yourself, or is it a mix of both? I write for myself. If others happen to enjoy it, great! If not, I'm already happy with what I've written.

Tagging @jo-harrington, @wheels-of-despair, @palomahasenteredthechat, and anyone else that wants to play!

#tag game #writing #for all my writer friends

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toxicanonymity · 1 year ago

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Hey :)

About Lincoln, I listened to the 4 The White stripes songs, and the first thing I wanted to tell you was that the atmosphere suited the Lincoln series perfectly it's insane. I don't know if the music influenced you or if the series came to you and you then created the playlist, but I find it incredible that it fits so well in terms of atmosphere !

About the songs

Screwdriver - Of course got me with the Tommy line. I don't know if he'll be part of the final, hard to say, and would it be for asking his help ? (by Lincoln ? by reader ?)

Forever for her - I wonder if it's his thoughts, hurt by the fact she would left him (kill him ?) Or him wondering how he could stay with her, without being caught up by what he did ? So they would go elsewhere ?

A martyr for my love for you - Is he gonna leave her ? Let her go ? Kill himself to free her ?

You've got her in your pocket - Well this one is the opposite (thanks for the rollercoaster lol) and i'm wondering if he's gonna kill her ? Consider it to keep her for himself ?

Keep wondering how this will end. It took me so much times to see red flags in this series. It's interesting to see how people have different "keys" that creates red flags or not - The green/red flags of other readers you posted were quite telling !

Thank you for the songs and the playlist, i discovered cool ones !

Ask from August 10 - Milla had asked for the next chapter title, which at the time was supposed to be the finale. Instead, I narrowed it down to 4 songs, each of which have some relevance , even if it's a tiny detail or in a dif context than you'd expext. The title songs aren't always good clues but have at least some minor tie-in. (Forever for her was the next chapter)

⚠️ This answer may have references through pt. 7

Left in Lincoln Master List

Consciously, the story came first, then the music hit me after pt. 1 and I started including little details from the songs. I originally named pt. 1 "the Protector" in reference to the end of the chapter:

You thought about Bill and Frank's attempt at "the Talk" – how precious you were and that you could love anyone, but needed to protect yourself. Especially from men. Joel seemed like the protector. Not someone you'd need protection from.

I kept thinking, I could've sworn there was a song, but I couldn't find it. Then, days after posting the the first chapter, the song This Protector randomly got stuck in my head after not hearing it for years. It was never one of my favorites of theirs, but when I listened to the full song, it gave me chills how perfect it was, and not just the title.

You thought you heard a sound, there's no one else around, Looking at the door, it's coming through the floor

I ret-conned the pt. 1 title, changing "the" to "this," and decided to make the rest of the chapters White Stripes songs because they have enough songs with the right atmosphere and creepiness. Even certain motifs like apples, which were already in the story. Even the age gap factor, I mean look at Passive Manipulation, which of course was way too on the nose to use as a title lol:

Take a step back, take a look at one another You need to know the difference between a father and a lover

And In the Cold, Cold Night (sung by Meg)

You make me feel a little older, like a full grown woman might.

Anyway, there's a lot of good stuff. Screwdriver even has a Tommy in it as Milla mentioned.

Before this one, I had never made a story playlist before. I kinda lucked out on this. I overplayed the White Stripes so much in my formative years that I still know all the words to an alarming number of songs two decades later, for some of them.

As for the theories, I wouldn't feel right about killing reader or Joel in this story even though either of those could totally be realistic outcomes in different genres like straight horror or even true crime.

There are also some great songs on the reader-curated Lincoln Joel playlist.

#lincoln!ask #toxic ask #milla frenchy #lincoln!joel #lincoln!analysis #song!ask #toxicanonymity writer's room

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grizzlyofthesea · 1 year ago

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Attempting to Rank the Songs in Project Diva X

WARNING: LONG POST

I downloaded Project Diva X a couple weeks ago, and I absolutely love it. It has its flaws and quirks, but it's fun. But most importantly...

The song list is phenomenal. It's short and very Miku-biased, even by Project Diva standards, but what we have here is ~quality.~ We have a large variety of musical genres and styles. We have both Vocaloid community staples and new experiments. We have MARETU. You sadly won't find these songs anywhere else in the series (minus Mega Mix+ mods, but I mean in an official capacity), but at least they're here. And do you know what I like to do with my favorite things?

I like to rank them. I don't know why. Weird brain stuff, I guess. But if you want to read the ramblings of a sleep-deprived weirdo, you're in the right place.

Keep in mind, all of these songs are at least decent (around B-tier at minimum) to me. Someone has to be last, but I enjoy listening to all of them and playing through the ones I have.

There are stats at the end for each Cloud/Aura's overall score, too. Now, let's go!

32.) Sharing the World

Miku V3 English is...a bit rough-sounding here. Not nails on a chalkboard, but not the most pleasant thing ever. The concept behind the song is cute, though. Miku is everywhere now, and people are using her (and other vocal synths) to share their feelings with others across the world. That is truly beautiful.

31.) The First Sound

Very simple, and Miku sounds a bit shrill on the highest notes. However, the lyrics are heartfelt and sweet. Also, the Triple Threat version of this song's Extreme chart was my first (and is still my only) Extreme Perfect. I don't know how I got it before the normal one, but I'll take it.

30.) Babylon

I feel like Miku's voice gets a bit lost in the instrumental. I also don't get why there are teeth everywhere. That being said, the shifts in tempo and time signature give this song a truly unique vibe.

29.) Even a Kunoichi Needs Love

Again, Miku and Rin feel a bit drowned out by the instrumental at times, but the fast pace and catchy rhythm elevate this song's standing a bit. And the existence of a Naruto and Sasuke cover in one of Minnemi's cursed UTAU concerts.

28.) LOL - lots of laugh -

Slow and repetitive, but the imagery in the lyrics is creative and vivid. You also definitely get a "whimsical carnival" feeling from the instrumental.

27.) Hand in Hand

Kind of generic as far as Miku songs go, but still catchy and pleasant.

26.) Slow Motion

The premise of the song--contemplating life while sick with a cold--is simply delightful. I'm just not the biggest fan of how Pinocchio-P tunes Miku in certain songs, Slow Motion included. Common World Domination is more to my taste.

25.) Ending Medley - Ultimate Exquisite Rampage

Ow, my wrists. This is a fun, nostalgic tribute to Project Diva entries past, and the choice to begin with Disappearance and end with Intense Voice makes for a touching narrative. The Ura-Omote Lovers remix is pretty cool, too, since it starts off slower than normal and speeds up over time. But again, ow, my wrists.

24.) Name of the Sin

You can't really go wrong with a musical fairytale...unless you cut out a good chunk of the song and scramble the story, but I still like the simple, timeless feel nonetheless. The shades of purple used for Miku's Cantatrice module are gorgeous as well.

23.) Streaming Heart

This isn't my favorite of DECO*27's works, but the instrumental break is awesome--heavy and gritty. The charting during said break's Technical Zone, especially on Extreme, amplifies the intensity and makes it feel extra satisfying.

22.) Love Trial

Simple but (fittingly) cute. The piano and trumpet combine well in the instrumental. Miku's tuning isn't the most dynamic here, but it's not a big issue when the rhythms are getting stuck in my head anyway. The lyrics are also quite fun with their courtroom metaphors. Ace Attorney fandom, I want to see your take on this song.

21.) Elegant Medley ~ Glossy Mixture ~

The strange shifts in tempo make certain parts torture to learn (TECHNICAL ZONES), but man, the Nebula part is pretty. And who doesn't love Sweet Devil? The ending is a bit abrupt, but I also don't know what else could have been done there.

20.) Beginning Medley - Primary Colors

I adore OSTER Project, and the group performance of Miracle Paint at the end is spectacular. Easily the best version of Miracle Paint out there. This medley's low placement on the list is simply a testament to how amazing Project Diva X's song list is.

19.) Lost One's Weeping

Rin feels a bit drowned out during the verses, but as someone with horrible test anxiety, I feel the lyrics. You could even say that the drowned-out vocals fit the theme of overwhelming academic pressure. The heavy electric guitar is perfect for the Cool Cloud, too.

18.) Quirky Medley - Giga Remix

Giga-P makes some good stuff. The choices for Rin and Len's solos were a bit weird, though. I mean, Gigantic OTN is a classic, but the sexual theme for that and "Pincostique" Love just doesn't fit the Quirky vibe in my opinion. However, Childish War is peak.

17.) Raspberry*Monster

The stage is a bit "neon barf sensory overload," but it fits the song's chaotic vibes. The chorus is also memorable thanks to the unique melody and expressive shouts.

16.) Satisfaction

EDM isn't my favorite musical genre, but it really works here. I think it's the combination of the awesome instrumental and kz(livetune)'s tuning really leaning into Miku's nature as an electronic instrument.

15.) Cute Medley - Idol Sounds

A collection of Mitchie M classics in all their peppy, expressive glory is a win in my book. Each song, from Freely Tomorrow to Blooming the Idol, perfectly suits the "J-pop idol" theme of the medley. KAITO should have been there, though. He wanted to learn how to be cute, so he should get to be cute. >:T

14.) Patchwork Staccato

A surprise bit of melancholy for the Cute Cloud, but the change of pace is welcome. Miku's falsetto pushes the limits of her upper range without sounding shrill, which I imagine takes immense patience to get right. Her singing throughout is refreshing, too, somehow coming across as sweet yet cold. And we can't ignore the immersive, quilt-like scenery of the stage. However, the Freddy Fazbear cover is still the best version (thank you again, Minnemi).

13.) Love Song

My mom's favorite simply for the "u-papa" parts (although the way she sings it sounds more like PoPiPo ^^"). And hey, I can't blame her. It's bouncy and sweet. It puts you in a good mood.

12.) Strangers

The way the rhythm changes throughout the song keeps things fresh, and the instrumental is surprisingly captivating. I love the stage, too. The Playstation symbol lights are enticing, but not distracting or intrusive.

11.) Holy Lance Explosion Boy

Why are the dirtiest songs always some of the catchiest? And why is Len used for so many of them? It's still a bop, though. A lot of songs by rerulili are. The Extreme chart is pain, but it's not unfair. It's just very, very crowded and technical. It's satisfying to improve my score here, at any rate.

10.) Solitary Envy

Surprisingly gentle and subdued for the Cool Cloud, but that makes it unique. I also love when Miku is given a lower and softer voice, whether it's her Dark Append or a unique tuning style. The syncopation during the chorus gives it a bit of a playful edge, too.

9.) A Single Red Leaf

A classic, gentle love ballad with a traditional Japanese flair. It may not be the flashiest or feature the most realistic tuning of Luka, but it's simply perfect for the Elegant Cloud. Also, despite being on the slower side, it's not painfully slow like certain other songs in the series (Sakura Rain--).

8.) Humorous Dream of Mrs. Pumpkin

Halloween vibes are always good vibes, and we stan Hachi in this household. I wish the song wasn't so obviously cut off at the end, but I am glad that it's here at all. Also, Halloween Miku supremacy.

7.) Cool Medley - Cyber Rock Jam

The transition from Don't My List Me! to Tengaku is so smooth. Absolutely beautiful. Unhappy Refrain is always a jam, Palette was a splendid surprise (with Luka V4x, too!), and This Messed-Up Wonderful World Exists For Me is an incredible finale. Cyber Rock Jam is easily the best medley in the game.

6.) Calc.

The intense guitar solos interspersed throughout the song really complement the smooth, relaxed melody. They're fundamentally different, yet their differences blend into a beautiful product instead of clashing.

5.) Tale of the Deep-Sea Lily

Again, I enjoy songs with a softer, lower-pitched Miku. This one is bouncy yet gentle, and I'm a total sucker for the nautical theme. Plus, the Sea Lily module makes Miku look a little like GUMI (my absolute favorite Vocaloid).

4.) Urotander, Underhanded Rangers

Hilarious in every single way, from the PV to the Extreme chart. The Chance Time star zooming across the screen sends me every time. KAITO, MEIKO, and Miku make for a nice trio, too. I wish they were used together more often.

3.) Ai Dee

It's a Mitchie M song that features Luka rapping in English, as well as bits in French and Spanish. It has to be in the top 3. The Electronica Anode (Miku) and Electronica Cathode (Luka) modules are some of my favorites in the game, too. What can I say? I'm weak to glowy stuff.

2.) Brain Revolution Girl

MARETU's instrumentals tend to be awesome, and it's no different here. The synth is decidedly electronic in tone, yet dramatic in its note progression. The guitar bit in the middle and the quiet segment immediately after add to the drama by bringing variety. Also, C minor is my favorite key, and C# minor isn't too far behind. I just feel so evil and powerful when I listen to this song. I love it.

1.) Amazing Dolce

It's MEIKO and the Kagamines. It's Hitoshizuku × Yama. It's energetic and jazzy. It even has a huge, dramatic, big band-style brass break in the middle. Need I say more? Actually, yes. The modules. They're super creative and adorable with their food themes. Strawberry Witch (MEIKO) and Pâtissier Gretel (Rin) are simply stunning. Len's Pâtissier Hansel module confused me for a while, but then it clicked when I realized that his motif isn't anything banana-related--it's apple pie. So he's also up there, and all of these ingredients combine to give us the best song in the game.

Now for the Cloud rankings. These are simple averages/means:

1.) Elegant - average of 7.83/32

2.) Cool - average of 11.83/32

3.) Quirky - average of 18.17/32

4.) Cute - average of 18.83/32

5.) Classic - average of 21.5/32

6.) Extra - average of 29.5/32

And here are (hopefully correct) weighted averages to compensate for the outliers in each set:

1.) Elegant - wav of 7.83/32 (Huh. Neat.)

2.) Cool - wav of 13.47/32

3.) Cute - wav of 15.62/32 (What an upset!)

4.) Quirky - wav of 17.56/32

5.) Classic - wav of 22.98/32

6.) Extra - wav of 29.5/32 (Two equidistant data points will do that. :p)

With all that said and done, what do you think? What are your favorite songs not just in X, but in the entire Project Diva series (Mirai counts, too)?

#vocaloid #project diva x #project diva #rhythm game #ranking #ranking my current interest because i'm a bit weird like that #hatsune miku #kagamine rin #kagamine len #megurine luka #meiko vocaloid #kaito vocaloid #did i do statistics right?#project mirai #minnemi #long post #super long post

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greywindys · 1 year ago

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how would you rank the anime you've ever watched? i'm looking for recommendations.

I know I talk about anime here from time to time, but I'm not a true anime fan, anon. Unfortunately, I have have misled you. I get attached to certain series for very specific reasons that not even I can predict until I'm twenty episodes in and thinking, "hey, this reminds me of____(insert disparate yet beloved piece of media here)." I also love shows that remind my of my IRL job in some way...which is weird to say, but yeah, I love watching shows and thinking, "wow, I could encounter this at my day job." I feel right at home lmao.

Anyhow, that's all to say that I don't deliberately set out to find new anime the way I keep up with indie movies and shorts. I'm a film bro, but I'm not an anime bro (idk what the correct term for avid anime/manga fans are). I watch shows that are getting buzz that also seem to align with my interests. I'm following three series at the moment.

I'd say right now, my favorite series alternate between My Hero Academia and Demon Slayer. A lot of this is due to nostalgia. I grew up reading and watching a lot of epic stories and series - Lord of the Rings, The Chronicles of Narnia, Redwall. I love long journeys, big adventures and battles. As an adult, I latched on to Game of Thrones, but who knows when George is finishing that. So these scratch that itch. I also want to credit both of these series for introducing me to a new genre of guy that I'm obsessed with: the good guy who acts like a villain (though I knew they were good all along, and right about everything...or nearly everything) but is anything but. Oh, so you think he's Satan incarnate? You think he's too mean? You hate him? That he's going to turn to the dark side? Wrong! On the contrary, he's so completely committed to the side of good, so unshakeable in his convictions, so genuinely kind and genuine inside that you are stuck with him and all his neuroses on the good side. No mystery here. Sorry not sorry. Anyhow, I love this genre of guy. After years of dealing with Murdoc, it's very refreshing.

I'm also watch Chainsaw Man. I like it so far, but it hasn't quite clicked yet and not even I know why. It technically has everything I'd want on paper - kind of spooky, some off-color humor, creator is a film bro who likes a lot of the same movies I do, promised character death/stakes. My chosen guy from this series is Aki, but I'm just whelmed so far despite having high hopes in the beginning. He's not really inspiring anything yet. I haven't even cast him in a Glee AU or musical (a rite of passage for all blorbos). Idk. But it's a series that's getting a lot of hype right now, so I still have high hopes. I do appreciate the risks it takes with the story structure. I want to name a future dog Pochita.

Anyhow, that's all I got lmao.

#asks.#Anonymous

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iluvchanniesposts · 3 years ago

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rendezvous

[[bang chan]]

pairings - chan x reader

genre - soft, fluff, angst.

the longest day had occurred and all you wanted to do was flop down into bed and join your thoughts in a deep slumber. unfortunately for you, your mind was awake and pondering. earlier on in the day, you had heard the boys speaking about how chan loves hugs and skinship so much; but no one hugs him much unless he hugs them first. for a while, it hurt your heart a little. the man you had a crush on for the longest time felt lonely but didn’t even speak a word of it. you debated for the longest time whether you should knock on his door and keep him company, but also didn’t want to be a pest. he never showed signs of having reciprocated feelings for you, but spending time with a friend couldn’t hurt. only felix knew about how you felt towards chan, but being the loyal friend he is, he never mentioned any of it to him.

you sighed and placed the back of your hand on your forehead, still in debate with yourself whether you should see him or not. boredom took over though, so you grabbed your phone from the nightstand and started scrolling through social media. a little green dot appeared next to chan’s name in order to say he’s online. you were contemplating messaging him just to start a conversation, but it felt too intimate at this time of night and nerves took over. you sighed and placed your phone back down, only for a split second though, because it pinged with a message. “hey. it’s unlike you to be awake at this time.” chan. it’s like he read your mind. everyone else was asleep; and it felt like you two were the only two people in the world right now. goosebumps painted your skin from the slight breeze coming through your cracked window; but you were certain they were from chan. “just thinking about things i guess :).” he read your reply straight away as if he was sitting on the chat, waiting. “me too. i’m still working on some things.” his response told you he was busy, but he can’t have been that busy to be messaging you. your thoughts were some sort of courage, because you got dressed and walked through the hallway to his room. you knocked on the door a few times before hearing his faint approval for you to enter. you peaked your head in first, to see him sitting at his desk with earphones on and comfy clothes. the way his grey shorts stuck to his legs defined his muscles perfectly, and the way his loose white shirt brought out his tan made you gush inside. “hi, it’s just me.” you entered shyly as he shot you a sweet smile. “what brings you here?” he took off his earphones and spun his chair to face you. “here, sit here.” he pulled a chair over for you, only to sit right next to him. “well we’re both awake and bored so i thought i’d come and keep you company. only if that’s okay with you of course, i don’t want to distract you.” you put your hands up in surrender but he just laughed. “no you’re good. it’s nice to have company at such a late time.” he scratched the back of his neck and looked at his feet. “so, what are you working on?” the small talk you tried to pull off seemed to be working since he started rambling on about the new music they’re producing and all the backing vocals he had to add in. you nodded your head at his sudden speech, not even realising you were staring at him the whole time. “how do you do it, chan?” you were in complete awe. he works so hard for the boys and himself but doesn’t give himself enough resting time. “how do i do what?” he was confused and intrigued by your sudden question, looking further into your features. “well, you’re amazing. you spend all day babysitting seven boys, tire yourself out with new dance routines and recordings, then you do a lot for your fans like chan’s room and stuff, then stay up late producing. are you okay lately?” your words seemed to have made him blush, because he was now fighting back a smile and looking everywhere apart from at you. “i mean, yeah. i’m tired but things have to get done.” he shrugged like it was nothing, but it only worried you further. “i’m worried about you. you need time for yourself too.” you looked at him sympathetically as his smile dropped. “yeah i mean, it’s hard you know. having to make sure everything is perfect all the time when i’m barely perfect myself. it does get on top of me but that’s what i signed up for when i decided to become the leader.” his stubbornness was evident, not even realising how over worked he is. “did you even eat dinner today? when was the last time you ate?” you already knew he skipped some meals on some days, purely because he had no time. but he’s in no way to be skipping meals recently. “uh, no i didn’t have dinner. but i’m not really hungry.” the topic of food must have made him a little bit peckish, because his sentence was followed by a small grumble in his tummy.

you rolled your eyes playfully and got up out of your chair. you left before he could even ask where you were going, but you shortly returned with a tray full of freshly baked goods that you and felix made earlier on. “snack on these. if you don’t i’ll literally shove it in your mouth myself. you need to eat.” you placed the tray onto his lap and it looked like his eyes had seen the moon. he whipped his head up with a bright smile on his face and started tucking in to the cookies. “mmm. wow. these are incredible!” you knew he meant it seeing as he was literally talking with his mouthful. even the smallest things like this made you laugh and happy, but also sad knowing he doesn’t feel the same way towards you. your thoughts made your smile drop a little as you stared into space. “hello? earth to you.” he waved his hands in front of your face as he snapped you out of your daydream. “sorry! fell into a daydream haha.” you laughed nervously as took a brownie from the tray. he had cleared off nearly all of it. “you must have been hungry!” you took the tray from his lap and placed it on the desk behind you. “i was starving but too stubborn to admit it. thank you, honesty.” he looked back at his screen with a lingering smile on his cheeks. “you don’t have to thank me, chan.” you laughed as if he was ridiculous, but his expression turned serious. “no, i appreciate it. i can’t remember the last time someone took care of me like that.” he nodded and your cheeks flushed red. “oh.” is all you could respond. “you must be tired, no?” he questioned without even sparing a glance from his computer screen. “mm, a little, but i don’t wanna sleep yet.” you shrugged your shoulders. “you never stay up this late, though? something must be wrong.” his small attention to detail made your heart flutter but you knew you were only getting your hopes up. “maybe. but i don’t really wanna talk about it.” you sighed and spun side to side on your chair anxiously. “okay that’s cool. but you can talk to me about anything, yeah?” his hand on your knee gave you butterflies but you tried to hide it. “you’ll sleep soon too?” it came out more like a question but it was whatever. “i’ll try. my insomnia plays up when i have a lot to do.” he chuckled and you nodded your head. “i can leave if i’m stopping you get sleepy?” you started to worry now; about being a burden. he shook his head no drastically and literally asked you to stay. “okay i’ll stay. but we have to sleep soon it’s already 2am.” the light of your phone lit up his features as he smiled at your screen. “cute lock screen.” he teased. you initially had it for his birthday, whenever a members birthday comes up, you change your lock screen to a selfie of you and them. but the one of you and chan stayed there for a while even after his birthday. “oh, yeah. i forgot about that.” you sniggered and put your hand over your mouth. “how did i get such the privilege of being your lock screen?” he laughed and you froze at his words. privilege? “what do you mean? haha” your palms became sweaty as he stared into your eyes. “i like you. you’re different and cool. and you take care of me. i just like you.” he spoke like it was the easiest thing in the world. “don’t look so nervous. i know you like me too so you don’t have to pretend.” he laughed and your jaw dropped. “how did you-?” he cut you off. “you know you are so obvious with things. besides, i heard you talking to felix. i’ll have to punish him for not telling me before.” he joked and laughed but you were still embarrassed. “don’t be embarrassed. i just didn’t say anything yet because i was waiting for you to confess first, but you’re too shy and cute to so i thought id make the move.” he squished your cheek between his finger and thumb. “i’m quite relieved actually.” you laughed and put a hand on your chest.

“i wanted to do this for so long, but thinking you’d find it weird stopped me. now i know you like me back, i’m just gonna do it.” you stood up and engulfed him in a tight hug. it didn’t take long for him to reciprocate as he wrapped his arms around your waist. you stayed there for a while, swaying side to side to the music he had playing on his tv. as you pulled away, he sat you down onto his lap, his arms not leaving your waist. “you don’t know how much i needed that.” as he pressed a kiss to your forehead, butterflies erupted in your stomach.

#stray kids #bang chan #skz x reader #skz #softcore #stray kids soft icons #skz soft thoughts #skz soft hours #soft icons #skz bang chan #chan skz

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steelycunt · 2 years ago

Note

im so sorry in advance bc this is a lot. but.

top 5 bands r loves

top 5 bands r hates

top 5 bands s loves

and top 5 bands s hates

hi omg no problem!! love talking about them love talking about music love talking about seventies music so this is great xx in regards to the bands they love, and particularly s, i generally imagine this changing depending on the era? as in the bands that he is into as a fourteen year old are not the bands he's into when he's twenty. so that will sort of affect my rankings xx this got very long! especially due to my long-winded and unnecessary explanations. so it's all going under the cut xx also i know it says bands but i interpreted that as just artists in general hope thats okay xx

top five bands that r loves

5. the kinks

4. small faces / harry nilsson.

3. the beach boys.

2. the beatles.

1. steely dan.

him!! my stuck-in-the-sixties boy!! the specific order isn't necessarily accurate, but these are the sort of groups/artists i imagine him liking--as well as special mentions to the velvet underground/bob dylan/donovan/joni mitchell/kate bush/pink floyd probably some of the beatles' solo careers in the seventies--e.g. wings/paul mccartney's ram/george harrison's all things must pass. i tend to imagine his tastes being more suited to the sixties than the seventies in general, though (think he'd prefer it to the glam + punk rock of the seventies although he may have liked some early bowie xx). i think he'd enjoy new wave in the late 70s/early 80s possibly more than he'd enjoy punk, but also he's spending that time being utterly depressed so i don't know how on-it he is in regards to following the latest cultural trends and movements.

top five bands that r hates

okay i'm not sure i have a ranking for this one--it's harder because i can't imagine him actively hating much. and i feel like if he didn't like a certain type of music he just wouldn't engage with it. but thinking about bands in the 70s i can't imagine him having an awful lot of time for your AC/DCs, ur aerosmiths, slade, kiss, led zeppelin, black sabbath...metal as a genre.

top five bands that s loves

5. rolling stones / sparks

4. new york dolls/velvet underground/t.rex

3. stranglers/modern lovers/the specials

2. sex pistols/ramones/buzzcocks

1. david bowie/roxy music

right i know this is a bit of a cop-out of a list. and the order once again doesn't really mean anything more than what came to mind first because honestly again it would all depend on the specific era/year you're talking about but. i've said before i imagine him moving from glam rock + proto-punk into punk + especially british punk as the seventies progresses...i do think artists like bowie and roxy music and t. rex would've had pretty big effects on him at a young age, and i think though he wouldn't have much time for most of the sixties the rolling stones might still be of interest to him. the thing is by the time he's old enough to get into glam rock its being going on for a bit, which is why the fact that he's around for the very start of punk would make it so exciting for him, because its something that belongs to his age group and its something he can actually get involved in. if he'd managed to stay out of prison for just a few more years i probably would've also included xtc (though he would've been around to enjoy drums and wires and black sea which are both good albums xx) but i think glam rock and punk are the main two genres for him.

top five bands that s hates

5. ABBA

4. the beegees

3. elton john

2. queen

1. the beatles

out of all four lists this was. probably easiest honestly although its less a ranking and more just a list as they came to mind but. i think he would enjoy hating the beatles--they're done, they're yesterday's news, they're old-fashioned and i really can't imagine any of their discography being of much interest to him personally. although he'd make allowances for how much r likes them. unlike r, i think s would sort of revel in being a bit of a hater (like me) so a lot of the rest of this list is just big seventies artists that while he would have been exposed to, he wouldn't have liked. i've talked b4 about the queen thing but in the interest of being thorough here i'll once again make my argument that he would not have liked queen xx if you think s liked queen its probably because he actually liked sparks instead. sparks sound like what i think a lot of people seem to think queen sound like. queen do not fit the rock n roll/punk rock image that he gets given a lot and while i absolutely love good old fashioned lover boy as much as the next person i do not think he did xx he was not a good old fashioned lover boy i promise you xx he was a cunt xx

#shame r wasnt a teen in the 1980s. he wouldve loved the smiths. i actually think as a decade the 80s would be more suited to his #tastes than the 70s tbh but idk #this is soooo much longer than anyone wanted it to be and i know no one will read it but. this is my favourite topic so i dont mind xx #it was fun for me to do xx and ive definitely forgotten some names thank you for the ask xx #music #r #s

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btssaysstudy · 4 years ago

Text

Cheer || jjk.

Pairing: Jungkook x reader Genre: fluff, cheerleader!yn x athlete!jk (requested by anon) Warning(s): minor swearing, alcohol, drinking games mentioned, college after game parties, reader is a cheer athlete, jungkook plays rugby, stress from expectations WC: ~9.9k (this is the longest I've ever written I hope it doesn't flop!!) Summary: You felt that your cheer team was under-appreciated by certain people — specifically the rugby team that your cheer team supports during their matches. How is it that their star player, Jeon Jungkook, manages to find his way into your life despite having a bad impression of the rugby players? Update (6/8): Made an edit

You always loved being in a team. That would explain why you were where you were. Standing on the mat in the indoor gym with your cheer team on a Friday night. Cheer was beyond exhausting, but you still loved doing it, especially with the team that you got in college. Your coach - a perfectionist - always drilled you guys over the minute details. That would also explain why you were still practicing for something so ‘trivial’ - your opinion, not your coach’s.

Your team was practicing the routine for the rugby team’s qualifying match on Monday. It was a simple routine - as always. Your team didn’t do championship level routines during such events, you were all just there as moral support and being the hype people for the team. All you had to do was cheer with your pom poms, throw in a couple of stunts and the crowd would go wild.

But every event was a chance to get better, to get closer to perfect, according to your coach. And you did not disagree. You just never looked forward to cheering for the rugby team even after all the events. Despite your team always cheering for the football club, you could say you disliked most of them. It always felt as though they didn’t appreciate the moral support and took you guys for granted.

“Might want to look happy, yn.” You heard a playful remark from behind. Jimin, your most trusted base.

“I’ll keep that in mind. Just don’t drop me.”

There was no way you could pull off your stunts if you didn’t have trust in your teammates. And you could say you trusted Jimin with your life - literally. Accidents and mistakes were bound to happen but there was no doubt that you’d be down to try for anything if Jimin was your base.

Not only was Jimin a trustworthy base, but he was also an amazing stunter. His physique was perfect to be an in between, he could pull off both roles. That almost guaranteed him a spot on the mat every time. He was extremely hardworking as well and you’ll always be proud of your best friend making mat. Of course, you wanted to make mat just as badly as the next person.

Last season, you did not make mat and it crushed you. Jimin was there to get you out of your rut and encouraged you to bounce back stronger. Thanks to him, you managed to pick yourself up and train harder for the upcoming nationals. You had never been more determined to make mat.

“Point your toes, I want my flyers looking really perfect.” Your coach yelled over the music. Your coach was a beast, but an effective one, nonetheless. Your team won nationals last season and ready to bag this season as well.

“Alright, that’s all for today. Clean the place up and you guys can go home. Thanks everybody!” Your coach clapped their hands and the team followed suit as everyone got up from the mat and started tidying the place.

“Need a lift?”

“Yes please, you’re the best!” You pulled Jimin in for a tight hug, “Okay, you do this then!” Jimin handed you the empty bottles that he picked up from the ground as he headed off the change first.

You grumbled but took his place in defeat.

—

Big smiles were plastered on your faces as you congratulated the winning team - your college. You best friend nudged you while you waved the team goodbye as they passed by. “Coming to the after party?”

“Wouldn’t miss the free drinks and snacks.”

Jimin snorted, “Obviously.”

Though you did say that it felt like the cheer team was under appreciated, you were always invited to the after parties. Most of you went, mainly for the free drinks and snacks.

You flashed two thumbs up with Jimin as Yoongi passed by. A small smile on his face as he slightly bowed his heads in your direction, acknowledging your cheers.

Through all the after parties, you have been acquainted with one of their star players - Min Yoongi. He was one of the few who hung out in the kitchen to avoid all the party games and the crowd in the general. He disliked the unnecessary glamour and attention that came along with joining the rugby club. You admired his passion for rugby and along with Jimin, the three of you became the trio who hid away from the crowd during the parties.

After the debrief with our coach, your team dispersed to your own places to freshen up for the after party. It was a Friday night, and a good night of drinking was warranted after a tiring week.

You were all lucky your coach was not strict regarding such parties, as long as everyone turned up ready for the following practice.

“Glad to see faces I actually like.” Yoongi commented, handing you two drinks he had already prepared. “You make it sound like you hate everyone on your team.”

“I would say a good majority. I’m actually jealous that your cheer team is so close knit.”

Jimin nudged you after you downed your shot, “Without trust, our stunts won’t fly.”

You nodded your head in agreement, “Probably should get my team to watch your practices to learn a thing about team spirit.” Yoongi scoffed, mostly to himself, knowing that realistically, it would never happen.

The three of you turned your attention to the living room, watching Yoongi’s teammates either play beer pong or trying to find their fling for the night.

“They’re skilled, no doubt. But most of them are here for the popularity. It’s rare to find someone who genuinely likes football too.” Yoongi ranted as you poured himself another shot.

“Is there not a single soul?” Jimin asked, feeling a tinge of pity for his friend who was not experiencing the same level of love for his team as Jimin did for the cheer team.

Yoongi’s eyes scanned across the room, slowly shaking his head before his eyes landed on someone. “Actually, there is— Jungkook!” He raised his hand, shouting over the loud music as he tried to get someone’s attention.

You turned your head to see Jungkook approaching your group. “Jungkook? Really?” You questioned Yoongi. Jungkook was one of the star players as well. It was impossible not to know Jungkook. You could walk down any corridor in campus, and you would hear someone mention his name at least once.

“Hey,” Jungkook greeted Yoongi before his eyes shifted to yours and Jimin’s. “What’s going on?”

Yoongi shrugged his shoulders, “Just wanted to introduce you to some of the members from cheer.”

“From cheer, huh?” The corner of his lips tugged upwards as his eyes went back to you.

“I figured you won’t recognise us, even though we’ve been at your parties since, well… Basically here every party.” You didn’t mean to sound so harsh, but it just came out from you. You heard Jimin chuckle from beside you as he draped his arms over you.

“Sorry bud, yn here doesn’t have a good impression of you guys.”

“It’s not like you have a better one.” You bit back at Jimin who just stuck out his tongue at you. “That is true,” He pulled away as he took a drink, “We were actually just bitching about you guys with Yoongi.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened in bewilderment, yet he felt amused enough to stay and find out more. “Is that so, Yoongi?”

His teammate nodded his head nonchalantly, “Just sharing the truth. About how most of them are here to be popular. I called you because I know you’re one of the few who actually joined for rugby.”

Jungkook huffed out an amused hum, “Interesting. What are your names again?”

“Yn and Jimin.” Jimin instantly replied, knowing you were probably going to reply with a snarky comment. “Part of the cheer team, like Yoongi said. She’s mainly a flyer and I’m a base and tumbler.”

You watched as his eyes furrowed in confusion, “S-Sorry I don’t know cheer terms.”

“Not surprised.” You let the words slip as you took a sip from your cup. Jungkook’s eyes looked at you, a hint of challenge and interest on his expression.

“If you have something against me, let’s hear it.”

“Don’t take it personally, Jungkook.” You reached out to give a light pat on his right chest. “I had a bad impression on Yoongi as well.”

With that, Yoongi sighed, nodding his head in the back. “It’s a miracle she likes me now.”

“Well, why don’t you give me a chance to change that impression then?” The left corner of his lip rose a playful look on his face as he challenged you.

It could be the alcohol or could be the loud music that made you disoriented. Nonetheless, you reached out your hand for a handshake, “You’ve got one chance.”

Jimin and Yoongi left the kitchen to enjoy their own time together. You had an inkling that something was stirring between them, but you decided to let them be as you were left alone with Jungkook in the kitchen.

“So, yn,” Jungkook shifted in the high stool, leaning on his right elbow, his attention focused on you. “Care to explain why you seem to hate my team so badly?”

“Buckle your seatbelts, Jeon.” You teased as you reached out for your drink. You watched his attention eyes fixated on yours as he waited for your answer. “I dislike your team because it feels we don’t get the appreciation I feel we rightfully deserve. We’re always there for your plays, even for your friendlies. The support just feels one sided and to me it sucks when we put in a lot for our routines as well.”

You watched him slowly nod his head in understanding, his body leaning backwards as he internalised your words. “I have to admit. I never really paused to think about your cheer team. I mean your outfits and pom poms are cute and all— “

Pointing your finger at him, you interrupted, “Exactly, we’re not just cute outfits and pom poms. We only use the cheesy pom poms for your matches to make the crowd all hyped up. Do you even know we have our own competition as well?”

Jungkook shrugged his shoulders, “Of course I do. Just never watched one.”

You let out a short, dry laugh, “It’s okay. Can’t say I’m surprised.”

Jungkook frowned, noting the dejected tone laced in your laugh and words as you tried to dismiss it. As an athlete himself, he knew how dejecting it must feel that support was one sided or lacking.

“Hey,” He placed the cup on the counter, “Why don’t you educate me? I’d like to know more.”

You smiled, “You’re pretty good at changing your first impression. You’re working really hard.”

He laughed, shaking his head, “No no, I mean it. It’s not just about changing your opinion of me. Tell me about cheer.”

You paused momentarily, recognising the sincerity in his voice as his gaze stayed on you. You knew he was serious about wanting to know more. It was as though the wall you placed between the two seemed to falter, a very minuscule crack forming on the wall.

“Jungkook!” A random college student hollered for his attention, “Come play beer pong with us!” You watched in amusement as you read their body language. They were clearly flirting with Jungkook and calling for his attention.

“Duty calls?”

Jungkook shook his head, “I’ll pass!”

“We can save this talk for another time, you can go— “

“Just to clear things up,” Jungkook turned back to you, “I’m not a fuckboy.”

You choked on air from his sudden defence statement, “I-I didn’t s-say you were— “

“Didn’t have to,” He said with a light smile on his face, “But I expected it too. Comes with the popularity I guess.” “So, you don’t…?” You trailed off and he shook his head, as if he was completely appalled by the sheer thought of being a fuckboy. “No, no. I don’t see the point in flings. Like Yoongi said, I’m here for rugby. Not to find dates.”

It felt as if another crack in the wall was formed after learning that fact. Like how Yoongi managed to break down the wall between you and him a few games ago.

Maybe not all jocks were bad.

“Anyway,” Jungkook pulled you back from your thoughts, “Educate me.”

You began sharing how was practice like, the different roles people were and how strict your coach was. You explained how you were always at the gym on the days you didn’t have training. You always got passionate when you talked about cheer and Jungkook experienced it first-hand. He watched how your face immediately lit up when he asked you to share about the sport. He was sure that even a person with zero interest with cheer would be completely drawn to hear you share about it with how enthusiastic you were.

“We currently have training three times a week since nationals are coming. We practice from late afternoon to almost midnight sometimes.” You paused, a sheepish grin creeping on your face as you realised you had been rambling on about your sport. “I-I’m sorry, I must’ve bored you to death.”

“No, no!” He immediately shook his head, hands out in front shaking as well in protest, “I wasn’t bored. I was really interested. I can tell how much you love cheer though.”

“Y-Yea I really do. Always good to find something to distract you especially during college.”

He nodded his head, “Can’t argue with that.” He raised his plastic cup in his hand, “Cheers to distractions.”

“Cheers,” You laughed, raising your cup towards his.

You could say you clicked well with Jungkook that night. In fact, you guys shared a lot about each other’s sport that you didn’t exchange numbers or any form of communication afterwards. It didn’t bug you so much since you figured it was a one-off conversation with him.

To be frank, you almost forgot that you talked with Jungkook that party. Jimin was the one who reminded you, asking about how he was and if you still hated jocks.

“He’s not bad, actually.”

“Of course, that’s why Yoongi actually likes him.” You raised an eyebrow suspiciously, leaning towards Jimin, “Speaking of Yoongi, how are things between you two?”

Your friend snorted, dismissing you with his hand, “What are you talking about? There’s nothing going on. We’re just friendly.”

“For now?”

Jimin shrugged, “We’ll see how it goes.” He gives you a wink before getting up, extending his hand out as an offer to pull you up. “Back on the mat.”

Training went on until 11pm, it was full of drills as soon your coach would be picking who will make mat for nationals. Everyone had to give it their all during practice as you were all constantly being scrutinised by your coach, your attitude, skills, and stamina. You had been training your stunts with Jimin after he managed to pull you back up from your sulking phase. Everything was important.

You separated from Jimin after practice as you made your way to the bus stop to head home. “Yn? Is that you?”

A very familiar honey-like voice.

Jungkook slowly made his way to the bus stop, “What are you doing here at campus so late?” You asked.

“I was studying. Just ended practice?”

“Yea.”

Jungkook glanced at his watch, “Wanna grab a midnight snack?”

You smiled, “Sure.”

“How does ice cream sound?”

“I’m down.”

There was a small ice cream store near campus and luckily, you managed to catch the last order. The both of you enjoyed your slow late night stroll back to the bus stop as you strikes up a conversation with him.

“I realised I was the only one talking about my sport that night. How about you share about rugby? I actually don’t know much about it.”

“You sure?” Jungkook asked, slightly shocked that you had brought up his sport. “Because I can get carried away when I talk about it—“

You laughed, “I’m sure Jungkook. Fire away.”

Jungkook started sharing the rules and positions of rugby - “I’m number 11, one of the wings” You looked at him, already confused with the terms. With a short chuckle, he explained, “I’m one of the backs. We do the running and scoring. Sometimes, we have to knock people down in our way.”

He continued sharing his training schedule as well - how his team similarly had gym sessions on non-training days just like cheer. The only difference was that the rugby team had a gym off campus.

“Sounds fancy.”

“It’s pretty fancy.” He nodded his head letting out an airy laugh.

“Rubgy doesn’t sound too bad now that I know how it works.”

“You could watch one of our matches or practices when you guys aren’t cheering for us.”

“Why not.”

—

“Guess who I see?” Jimin whispered, nudging you out of your focus. You looked up, placing your dumbbells down, “Where are you looking at?”

“6 o’clock.” He muttered as he sneakily stole your dumbbells to do his set while you turned around to spot Jungkook who had just entered the gym.

You were surprised to see Jungkook and his teammates at the gym. Yoongi was the first one who spotted you. He sent a small smile, raising his hand for a short wave in your direction.

“Hey thief,” You nudged Jimin back, “Yoongi is here too.”

“I know, that’s why I stole your dumbbells.” You chuckled, smacking his toned arms upon learning his tactic.

You watched Yoongi talk to Jungkook, seemingly informing him that you were there as Jungkook turned his body around, his eyes meeting yours. You smiled, sending a hello with your hand to which he returned.

Seeing that you were unoccupied, since Jimin stole your dumbbells, Jungkook made his way to you. “What happened to your almighty external gym?”

He shrugged with a bright smile, “After hearing you hype up the campus gym so much the other night, I thought, why not give it a shot?”

You shook your head with a chuckle, clearly not believing his words. “If that’s the case, enjoy the campus gym!” You reached out to pat his broad shoulders before turning back to resume your gym session.

“Are you done with your set yet?” You questioned Jimin who stood right back up with a grin, “Was he watching me?”

Taking the dumbbells from his hands, you shrugged, “Doubt it.”

“Yea right.” Jimin scoffed, stepping aside to give you more space.

Your gym session lasted an hour as usual, ensuring that you don’t over-work your body as well since your coach was going to be choosing the final 20 soon.

Whenever you weren’t studying or training, you were stressing over whether you’ll make mat. And it was evident on your face. You heard a sigh coming from Jimin, “Don’t stress over it too much. You’ve been working extra hard this season, I’m confident you’ll make it.”

You responded with a weak smile, “Thanks Jimin, I really hope so.”

“Me too, but what you need is to stop thinking about it right now. Go get a distraction for tonight. Tomorrow’s training is going to be torturous.”

“When isn’t it?” You joked, “Touché.”

You packed your gym bag with Jimin, ready to leave and wind down for the day. Jimin was right, you needed a distraction - maybe a Netflix movie, or do some yoga to de-stress, or do a sheet mask —

“Jimin, yn!” You heard Yoongi holler out your names as you walked away from the campus gym.

“Yoongi, what’s up?”

Yoongi walked up to the both of you, accompanied by Jungkook.

“We just ended our session, was thinking if you wanted to grab dinner together?”

“Sure! Yn here,” Jimin laces his arm around yours as he pulled you closer to him, “needs a distraction ASAP.”

“A distraction?” Jungkook asked, looking at you for a response.

“From worrying about making mat.”

Yoongi chuckled, “Jungkook doesn’t know cheer lingo— “

“Oh no,” He shook his head, “I know what that means.”

“You do?!” Yoongi and Jimin asked incredulously.

“I gave him a lecture about cheer during that after party.” You answered and Jimin laughed, “Right! I forgot about your granny lecture.”

You scoffed defensively, “I-I mean he could’ve stopped be any time he was bored— “

“Because I wasn’t. It’s refreshing seeing people be so passionate about something, especially during college.” You returned the smile, the more you interacted with Jungkook, the more you could see why Yoongi kept Jungkook in his small circle of friends.

If there was anything the four of you had in common, it was your passion for your sport.

“I know a great place we can eat at.” Yoongi suggested. The four of you headed over to Yoongi’s go-to restaurants after his workout sessions. As the food started to come to your table, Yoongi and Jimin were caught up with some music competition show that you did not keep up with.

“So how has cheer been?” Jungkook’s voice pulled your attention towards him. “Fun but tiring as usual. Our coach is selecting who will make it to the final 20 for the nationals.” You sighed, anxiousness clearly evident in your tone and on your face.

“Hey, from an athlete to another, I know you’ve trained very hard, and I’ll be rooting for you to make it to the final 20.”

You weren’t sure why, but it felt comforting to hear those words from Jungkook. It felt different than when Jimin would cheer you up. You quickly decided that it was because you were praised by one of the star players of the rugby team. It felt great being acknowledged by someone out of the cheer world.

So, you decided to go with that explanation.

“Thanks, Jungkook, I hope I do. But you technically don’t know whether I’ve trained hard since you’ve never seen me practice.”

“That is true.” He simply grinned at you, “But I just know.”

“You have so much faith in me, Jungkook.” You teased.

He placed his forearms on the table, leaning on them to bring himself slightly close to you, “I have lots of faith in you.”

—

You weren’t stupid and you weren’t blind either. You and Jimin have been spotting Jungkook and Yoongi loitering around the indoor gym lately.

“Did you see them?” Jimin tossed you your newly refilled bottle, “I haven’t left the gym. They’re here again? It’s like 10pm.”

Jimin shrugged his shoulders, “Yoongi was napping on the table though. Looks like Jungkook was the only one actually studying.”

Jungkook never mentioned to you that he stayed back in campus to revise. Though, you barely talked to him since you never exchanged numbers. Every time you had a conversation with him, you both would get too swept up in the conversation that it never occurred to either of you that it was the 21st century and you could talk with your phones.

Training ended an hour later, and you did not expect them to still be outside ‘studying’.

“You guys are still studying?” Jimin called out as you both approached them, Jungkook’s head shot up almost instantly, his eyes finding yours, a bright smile on his face despite his tired eyes from revision. “What a coincidence seeing you here.”

You raised your eyebrows questioningly, “Here,” You looked around with your hands gesturing to the area, “Right outside the indoor gym, with no fan or AC.”

“Yes, here.” He insisted.

Yoongi sighed, finally waking up from his nap. “What’s with the commotion— Oh, you guys are finally done with practice.” He got up and grabbed his bags, “Jimin, need a lift?”

“Yes please!” Jimin nodded his head, giving you a quick goodbye hug before heading off with Yoongi, leaving you alone with Jungkook.

“Guess I can’t judge your preference for a study location.” You made your way to him as he packed up his belongings. “I kinda feel bad for you that Yoongi ditched you.”

Jungkook shook his head with a smile, “He was meant to ditch me anyway. I was waiting to see you.”

You felt yourself momentarily pause; an inhale stuck halfway as you processed his words. He waited to see me. You thought, your brain trying to find an explanation for that.

“I realised we haven’t exchanged numbers even after all this time.” He continued when he didn’t get a response.

“O-Oh right, here,” You reached for your phone in your bag, handing it to Jungkook. “I’ll drop you message.”

Jungkook didn’t take your phone immediately, his eyes locked on your face, as if he was shocked that you didn’t mind exchanging numbers, his hand reached for your phone, gently brushing against your fingers, sending a fluttery feeling in your way.

Once he added his contact, he returned your phone, “It’s 11pm, do you have a ride home?”

“I usually just take the bus.”

“I have a car. Let me take you home.”

“Oh no,” You shook your head, “You don’t have to really, I’m used to taking the bus— “

“But I’m already here anyway, come on, do you not trust my driving skills?” He joked and you let out an airy laugh, “Alright fine. I owe you one.”

“Nah, you already gave me your number.” He winked at you, throwing his bag over his shoulder, leading the way to the carpark with you slightly stunned from his flirtatious remarks.

The care ride with Jungkook was comfortable, slightly tense on your end at the start. Jungkook gave you the cable to play whatever music you wanted which made you slightly more comfortable. “I don’t know if we have the same music taste— “

“It’s alright, just play whatever you want.”

“O-Okay…”

Surprisingly, you and Jungkook didn’t have that much of a difference in differing taste, there were some songs that he didn’t know but found himself liking it. He himself was shocked to learn that you had similar taste in music.

Jungkook didn’t know why he felt so nervous having you in his car and driving you home. It was not like you were getting married. But why did he feel so nervous? Jungkook rarely flirted or showed interest in someone. His love was rugby - his sport - his life. He poured his heart and soul into the sport. But with you, he found that he couldn’t help flirting with you. It felt natural - It felt right.

Ironically, or maybe not, as he drove you home that night, Jungkook knew deep down, he was in it for the long ride.

—

Jimin held your hands tightly as you kept your eyelids shut. You could feel that your heart was about to jump out of your chest as you sat on the mat with Jimin, waiting for your coach to call out all the 20 names. It almost felt like you could feel your heartbeat in your head, the suspense and dragging was killing you.

Your hands clammy in Jimin’s but you did not have a single care as all you wanted in that moment was to make it to nationals.

“Jimin.”

You gasped, pulling Jimin in for a tight hug as he yelled in excitement. You were proud of your best friend; you knew that he would make mat and he deserved it.

Names were called and there were only 5 names left to be called, you grip on Jimin’s hands slackened as you started to accept that you won’t make it—

“Yn.”

You ears rang and you thought you were about to go deaf. Jimin’s loud but happy scream stunned you as you were pulled in for a suffocating hug this time.

The last 4 names were called and the final 20 had been made (subject to change).

Tears welled up in your eyes as memories of your gruelling training flashed through your mind. All the tiring practices and extra trainings with Jimin, the hardships and discipline all paid off.

Training went swimmingly, your coach running through sections of the choreography until it was time to wrap up. “Didn’t have the time to properly congratulate you.” Jimin said with a bright proud grin on his face as you left the gym.

“Thanks, Jimin! Hopefully we can stay on the 20 and compete together.”

“I’m confident we will.”

His eyes shifted away from you, and you followed his gaze to see Jungkook outside, once again, studying, alone this time. “Where’s Yoongi?” You asked as you both approached him.

“He gave up studying with me. Probably went home to crash after our practice today.”

Jimin eyed Jungkook’s facial expression suspiciously, eyes darting between you and Jungkook before he spoke, “I’m going book a ride and head home first yea? Text me when you’re home.” Jimin gives your shoulder a good squeeze before saying bye to you and Jungkook.

“What’s with the big smile on your face?” Jungkook questioned as he started packing his belongings. Your smile was contagious and Jungkook couldn’t help but smile as well as soon as he saw your bright expression.

“I got into the top 20!”

You squared like a little girl, once again excited from the thought of making it this season.

Jungkook abruptly stopped gathering his stuff, stepping away from the table, “Really? Congrats, yn!” He pulled you in for a hug which made your muscles stiffen but your arms automatically wrapped around him.

“I’m so proud of you!”

“Thanks, Jungkook.” You chuckled as you pulled away from the embrace. Your mind was clouded, filled with a mixture of thoughts of making it to the Top 20 and how warm that hug felt. How it felt so ‘right’.

Over the past few weeks, it had become a routine, to have Jungkook studying outside the indoor gym and drive you home after practice. You always told him he didn’t need to send you home, but he never listened.

“Our qualifying match is next Friday, if we win, there’ll be an after party, are you free to come?”

“For the after party?”

“Yea, I mean, technically your whole cheer team usually come but since your nationals are coming, I’m assuming you would be too busy to come.”

“No no, I’ll come.”

“You will?” Jungkook’s face lit up and a bubbling feeling grew in your chest as you tried to ignore it. “Yea I will.”

—

Since Jungkook had his qualifying match around the corner, you stopped seeing him late at night outside the gym. You wouldn’t admit it out loud, but you missed seeing him after your practice.

Nonetheless, you would still spend the night texting him right before bed. It felt so easy to converse with him and you always looked forward to hear stories about his rugby practice and it felt nice to share about your cheer practice to him.

Friday quickly arrived and you decided to watch his match since the game was on your campus grounds. You took a seat somewhere in the middle of the bleachers and your eyes scanned the field to find Jungkook.

You recalled him explaining the positions of the backs and you found his number - 11. A smile crept unto your face as your eyes fixated on Jungkook. Your facial expression always scrunched up into a wince whenever you see them tackle each other during the game. You would let out a hiss as if you were the one sliding against the grass as Jungkook scored a point.

Nonetheless, it was fascinating to actually watch the game. Not surprisingly, after you understood the rules of the game, it was exciting to root for your college’s team. Maybe it was because you were rooting for a particular player, but you wouldn’t admit that to yourself just yet.

During half-time, your college’s team made their way back to the benches which was in front of where you sat. You didn’t bother shouting for his attention since you knew it was important to stay in the zone.

You sat at your spot, watching him, and you almost felt like a stalker. He was drenched in sweat, definitely going to have bruises or scratches from the game, you could see his chest move up and down as he took deep breaths to relax.

You felt your breath get caught in your throat when he had looked up and found your eyes amongst the crowd. Jungkook had been casually looking around the crowd to see if you really did come to watch his game.

He had texted you the night before about how he hoped you could come see his game now that you know how it actually worked. You told him no promises but had made sure you were free the afternoon to attend his game. Of course, you didn’t tell him that.

In an instant, his serious gaze broke into an inviting smile as he mouthed the words “hey” at your direction. You smiled back, returning the greeting while you hoped no one caught that moment between the two of you.

His coach called for their attention to remind them of their game plan but Jungkook was having a battle in his mind. The image of you smiling at the bleachers stayed as he tried to listen to his coach’s words. He knew the game plan, he was always on top the game. But seeing you watching him from the bleachers made him feel giddy but at least he also motivated him to do extra well. He wanted to look good in front of you.

And that’s exactly what he did.

He sent you text to wait for him to freshen up and you sat at your spot, enjoying the breeze as you waited for him to come back from his shower.

“You actually came.”

You looked up from your phone to see a wet-haired Jungkook approaching you with a lopsided grin. “Wanted to give support especially after all the times you sent me home after practice.”

Your phone vibrated as Jimin spammed you with messages when you stopped replying. Jimin had been asking about your whereabouts and you told him you were at the rugby game. He was upset since he would have tagged along to watch Yoongi if he knew you were going.

“Where’s Yoongi?”

Jungkook gestured with his thumb behind him, “Still showering. Is Jimin here?”

You chuckled, shaking your head, “He didn’t know I was coming to watch. I think he’ll attack me later at the party.”

“Sounds like a fun match to see.” He joked and you scoffed, “I’ll beat Jimin easily.”

“I’m sure, I’ll always be rooting for you.”

It sounded like another tease but his words caused nervous knots in your stomach. You deliberately ignored the feeling as you walked down the bleachers to his side, “Shall we get Yoongi and Jimin?”

“Yep, text me his address. We’ll pick him up once Yoongi is ready to go.”

Get ready, Jungkook’s picking you up - yn

I already look good, always ready - Jimin

Yoongi didn’t take long to come out of the showers and the three of you made your way in Jungkook’s car to pick Jimin up, all ready for the after party.

“I haven’t had dinner so I am ready for all the food.” Jimin groaned, clutching his stomach as he hopped off the car.

The four of you made your way up the driveway to see that the after party had started even earlier. “Looks like everyone couldn’t wait to party.” Yoongi commented as you entered through the main door, the loud typical party music blasting through the house.

It wasn’t a very packed party, lesser than the usual after parties but still plenty of people nonetheless.

There were already different groups engaging in different activities - gossiping, flirting, beer pong, truth or dare, Mario Kart and many more.

“Yn, you hungry? I heard Woohyun baked pasta for tonight.” Yoongi gestured to the kitchen. Before you could reply, Jungkook added on, “Someone’s barbecuing in the backyard though.”

“Barbecue?” You repeated, “Sounds delicious.” You turned your head back to Yoongi, “I’ll follow you guys after!”

Yoongi and Jimin made their way to the kitchen while you and Jungkook headed over to start your night with barbecue.

At the backyard, there was a swimming pool with a small lawn where the barbecue was. The two of you made your way to the table with the cooked food, helping yourself to dinner.

“This tastes amazing.” You moaned in delight after the first bite.

Jungkook laughed, “Come on,” He took an empty plate and grabbed a handful of barbecue sticks and kebabs, leading the way to the other side of the pool with one empty lounge chair.

You shared the plastic lounge chair, sitting beside Jungkook as you shared the plate. “So, how was my game?”

“To be honest,” You cleared your throat, “More interesting now that I know the game.”

He grinned like a happy high school boy, “That’s great to hear! Maybe you can watch more of my games or practices when you have the time.”

“We’ll see about that.” You teased, grabbing another stick to feed yourself.

“So, how’s your prep for nationals?”

“Tiring, one of our flyers got a concussion after a bad fall last night so she’s temporarily replaced. Our pyramid’s a mess.”

Jungkook lightly nudged your shoulders, “I’m sure it’ll turn out well. You guys are the defending champions.”

“I hope we can defend it this season.”

“Gotta think positively.” He winked at you and you returned a small smile. Silence fell upon you two as you noticed the lack of personal space between the both of you. It felt comfortable yet nerve-racking to be so close to him.

Was he uncomfortable with the closeness? Should you move away?

Just as you were about to scoot away, he spoke. “I’m really glad you came to my match tonight. It felt different.” He admitted rather shyly as his gaze dropped to the half empty plate.

“Different?”

Jungkook nodded his head, “Felt nice knowing there’s someone out there rooting for me.”

“There were lots of people rooting out for you.”

“Yea but, someone out there that I really want to impress.”

You didn’t have a reply, you weren’t sure how to reply. You decided to opt for a small encouraging pat on his shoulder before retracting your hand.

It didn’t seem much from an outsider’s perspective, but his words held a lot of weight. For the both of you. Almost as if you were about to cross a line - some line that you weren’t sure if you’re both ready to cross.

“Well,” He cleared his throat, standing up, “Shall we go find the two?”

“S-Sure.”

The two of you entered through the back door and was immediately blocked by his fellow team player, handing both of you a bottle of soju. “Gotta help us finish these, Jeon. Someone,” his eyes darted to another team player, “Accidentally ordered twice our usual order.”

“Damn.” Jungkook laughed in disbelief, “I’ll pull my weight then.”

“Great! You know what’s a perfect game for that? Spin the Bottle! You guys wanna play?”

Jungkook’s gaze darted to yours as you hesitated to reply.

“Come on Jeon, you always reject our games. Just this once, yea?”

He sighed, “A-Alright sure. Yn?”

You shook your head, “I’ll pass. Go have fun.” You patted his back as you excused yourself to the kitchen. There was a sour feeling knowing that Jungkook agreed to play Spin the Bottle, you avoided looking at the circle at the living area as you went to find Yoongi and Jimin guarding the snacks.

“Where’s Jungkook?”

“Spin the Bottle.” You plopped yourself down beside Jimin, chugging the soju bottle in your hand.

“Someone sounds affected.” Jimin teased, handing you a plate of pasta.

“No one’s affected.” You defended yourself as you grabbed a fork to eat the pasta, ignoring the feeling in your chest.

You had almost completely forgotten about Spin the Bottle as the three of you went on to talk about other things. You were laughing and enjoying your night with the two until you heard the familiar voice that made your muscles freeze.

“Any pasta left for me?”

You turned to look at Jungkook, “Enjoyed the game?”

“Pretty interesting,” He started and you immediately wanted to shut his voice out, “But would’ve been fun if you were in the game.” He winked at you before he took a plate for himself, acting as if he hadn’t said those words. You saw the empty soju bottle that he placed on the counter top and figured it was the alcohol talking so you decided to brush it off. It was probably the alcohol making him say such a brave statement in front of your friends.

Would something have happened if you agreed to play the game?

—

You realised that maybe he did decide to be more brave.

He started sitting in the gymnasium to watch your practices. Jimin would always inform you when he spotted Jungkook, insisting that he was here to watch you. Though you constantly denied, because you knew he knew a few of you guys from all the parties.

Somehow, you always felt his eyes were locked on you - his attention never leaving you no matter how chaotic the mat got. Every fall, every success, every break. You just knew he was looking at you.

The first practice you realised he was there, you approached him after practice ended.

“Hey Jungkook!”

“Why are you here?”

“Am I that unwanted? Looks like only Jimin is glad to see me here.”

“N-No,” You were caught off-guard, “I was just wondering—“

“I know, I’m kidding.” Jungkook chuckled, getting up from the bench, hopping down to stand right in front of you. “You came to my game, and I want to come see your practices. I haven’t actually seen how serious cheer can be.”

You hummed, “Alright then.” You tossed your damp towel over your shoulder. Jungkook reached out, “Let me take your bag. I saw how tiring practice was.”

“Jungkook it’s fine—“

“And you fell from that pyramid a couple of times. You better ice that bruise.” He pointed to the bruise on your shin. You had gotten the bruise when you knocked it against one of your teammate’s foot when you had fallen off the pyramid.

He had successfully snatched your duffel bag when you were distracted by the bruise on your shin. “Jungkook—“

“Come on, let the guy be a gentleman.” Jimin nudged your sides and you shot a light glare his way. “I already booked a ride and it’s here so I’ll head home first. Text me when you’re home, yea?” Jimin patted your shoulder before jogging off.

During the ride home, Jungkook shared how in awe he was during your practice. “I felt that same way watching your game too.” You admitted.

“I’m definitely watching nationals with Yoongi.”

“You don’t have to—“

“But I want to! I’m coming.”

Over the weeks, you learned even more about Jungkook.

Firstly, Jungkook was a really thoughtful individual.

He also loved going the extra mile. You knew his rugby training schedule since he shared it before. So you knew he was watching your late night sessions after his tiring ones on some days, yet still sat through all the way.

He didn’t attend all practices, but he didn’t have to. You always appreciated the times he came to watch and you made it a point to watch his trainings as well when you had nothing on.

Secondly, Jungkook was one of the most hardworking and disciplined individuals that you have met.

Every footwork drill, punishment or endurance runs, he took it seriously. He always gave it his 110%. Even when you knew he was near his limit, he never slacked.

Thirdly, Jungkook was cute when he was in the zone.

His eyebrows always scrunched together, sometimes he would bite his lip for extra concentration. He would whisper to himself after his attempts or runs, possibly correcting himself or encouraging himself.

You knew he was his harshest critic. You could see it in his training etiquette.

From an athlete to another, Jungkook was a very respectable athlete - in both fitness and character.

Eventually, this became routine between the both of you. You would watch each other’s practices whenever you had the time. Jimin and Yoongi had gotten used to the scene as well.

Both would tease the both of you separately, “Look who’s here.”

“Shut up.” You both would say to them, trying to fight the smile that wanted to break through.

“You know, people will start thinking that we’re dating.”

“That wouldn’t be a bad thing, now would it?” Jungkook tilted his head, a cheeky grin on his face as he tossed you a cold unopened bottle of water. His reply sent your heart fluttering. He knew his way with words.

“It’ll kill your popularity with the public. Everyone will lose hope and stop pining after you.” You said dramatically after taking a big gulp of the refreshing water.

“Still don’t see how that’s a bad thing.”

“You know, you’re a real flirt Jeon Jungkook.”

He grinned cheekily, “Only when I want to.”

He definitely knew his way with words, and possibly, his way to your heart.

—

Jungkook started asking you out for lunch and dinner over the weeks, including the weekends. It was refreshing seeing you two not dripping in sweat from training. And he cleaned up well.

Although the rugby finals and cheer nationals were just around the corner, you both tried to find spare time to hang out. It felt like a stress-reliever. You both needed it. Jungkook knew he needed and wanted it. He always wanted to see you.

You were both at an open field, lying next to each other, bodies facing up as you enjoyed the night sky. Silence engulfed the both of you as you relished the tranquility of the night.

With hectic schedules, you appreciated times like this when you didn’t have to think about something so serious like competitions and expectations.

You were grateful that you made it to the Final 20 but it was still stressful knowing that there are high expectations for your team to defend your title.

It was the same for Jungkook.

“This feels great, doesn’t it?” He was the first to break the silence.

You turned just your head to admire his side profile as his eyes remained glue to the starry night.

“It does.”

Jungkook paused before continuing the conversation, “You know, I didn’t actually play Spin the Bottle that night. I just drank every time it was me, just wanted to please Woohyun.”

Confused, you weren’t sure why Jungkook had brought that up out of the blue. “Why are you—”

“I just wanted you to know. Felt like you had to know.” He shrugged his shoulders, pressing his lips into a tight line. “Didn’t want to send mix signals.”

“Mix signals?” You turned around, lying on top of your stomach as you got up on your forearms. You had a hunch of where this conversation was heading, but you didn’t like to be one making assumptions. Jungkook turned his head to face you, “I’m into you. I always like being with you and I hope you feel the same way.”

Nothing came out of your mouth. You were stunned by his sudden confession. Your eyes remained on his face as he kept a soft smile, with not a single ounce of regret on his face.

“I… I like being with you too.” You replied shyly, shuffling back down to lie down on your back next to him, not daring to make eye contact.

Next to you, Jungkook let out a short chuckle. He decided not to push it for that night. But it was enough to know that things were going right between the two of you.

“I never shared this with anyone but, sometimes, I do feel like quitting rugby.”

You were taken aback by his sudden change in topic but didn't to roll with it

“Why?”

He took a while to respond, formulating his thoughts into sentences. “The expectations get too much sometimes, especially as one of the labelled star players.” He scoffed, as if he was laughing at the term, or himself.

“I’m sure as the Final 20 in cheer you feel that expectation as well.”

You didn’t give a verbal reply, only nodding your head as you turned your head back to face up to the sky.

Jungkook didn’t need a verbal reply, he knew you felt the same.

“It’s suffocating. But right now, I feel like I can take a deep long breath, and not worry about making a mistake or slowing down.”

Just as he said that, he took a deep inhale, letting out his breath through is mouth.

“That felt good to let out. I never wanted to share this with others because I’m afraid they’ll think that I’m taking my position and skills for granted.”

“Yea I get what you’re saying.” You assured him and he smiled, turning his head to face you. You heard the shuffling sounds and you decided to face him as well, momentarily freezing when your eyes finally met his.

“But it feels like I can talk to you about anything. It feels nice to talk to you, yn.”

You were once again lost for words, feeling your cheeks grow hot as your eyes remained locked in his gaze.

“I feel safe with you.”

—

It was the final championship match for rugby. Your cheer team was once again there, to root for your college - you and Jimin were specifically rooting for Yoongi and Jungkook.

The whole venue was excruciatingly loud and tense. Both colleges with great support backing them. The match was very close and you could tell how they seemed more tired than other games. The nerves and the physical demand was getting to them.

Your coach yelled, calling their hands to get your attention. “Come on guys, time to boost their morale”

With your pom poms in your hands, your cheer team gathered, facing your side of the bleachers, enthusiastically cheering the campus cheers and getting the crowd to join in.

It was followed by simply stunts and routines to get the atmosphere more lively and ready for the game to resume.

As the players passed by your team, you all wished them good luck.

“Good luck, Yoongi!”

“Good luck, Jungkook!” You exclaimed encouragingly, shaking both your pom poms his way as he turned around to see you. He winked at you, mouthing the words ‘thank you’ before they made their way to the field.

“You’re drooling.”

Jimin’s voice taunted you from the side, You elbowed his side, “You’re doing the same.”

“Touche.”

As the timer reaches the end, your side erupted in the loudest of cheers, you happily screaming along with the crowd. This win felt different from all the different times your cheer team supported them. Your college managed to defend their title, winning the championship for the season.

When the players returned to the benches and huddled for a group photo together, Jimin whispered, “Why don’t you go up and congratulate him?”

“Hush, Jimin, not in front of everyone.”

“Come on, don’t be shy. I know you like him.”

“We’re just close friends.”

Jimin scoffed, his index finger pointing to you and himself, “You and I are close friends. You and Jungkook however, are idiots who don’t want to admit that you guys like each other.”

“Shut it!” You sighed, lightly hitting him with your pom poms. When you turned around, Jungkook had already made his way to you. “You were cheering really hard back there.”

“Just for you.”

Just for me?” He raised his eyebrows, a smug look on his face as he stepped closer, “Yoongi’s gonna be devastated knowing that—“

“Actually my cheers were for Yoongi but I didn’t want you to feel upset or forgotten.”

Jungkook frowned and you really wished you had the guts to just kiss him right there, your eyes flickering to his pink soft lips.

“I’m kidding, don’t cry, not when you just became a champion.”

Jungkook laughed heartily before leaning towards your ear, “I’m already a champion having you on my side to cheer me on.”

—

Attention immediately shifted to your team for the upcoming nationals which was just a week after Jungkook’s finals.

You guys had constant past few runs leading up to the final day and everything felt like it would go well. The biggest obstacle was controlling your mental state during the day itself.

The night before, Jungkook had sent you a lengthy good luck message as he reminded you that he would be there.

You slept peacefully that night and woke up to read his message in the morning once again. You had your own cheerleader this time.

Everything seemed to go by quickly, the warm ups and runs backstage while waiting for your team’s turn. You had not met Jungkook or Yoongi since you were preparing backstage with your team, focused on getting into the right mental state.

Your heart almost jumped out of your chest when it was finally your team’s turn to perform.

The sun was scorching hot and there were many spectators. You stood in formation with your teammates as you waited for the song to play.

It felt way different than last season. Even though you were there last season to support the performing team, it truly felt different to be the one about to perform on the mat. With all eyes on you, carefully watching for any mistakes or mishaps. The heat already making you sweat when you stepped onto the stage.

But once the music played, that was all you could focus on.

Bright smiles plastered on all your faces as you went through the routine. A silent celebration in your head every time your team successfully pulled off a stunt.

Quick gazes made on the mat as you constantly changed formation. Encouraging looks and the sounds of the encouragement on the mat from your teammates to get you through the routine.

And just like that - it was your ending pose. Heavy pants surrounding you as your gaze locked on the audience. You all broke character afterwards, squealing and hugging each other for not screwing up the pyramid and the routine.

It felt good.

In fact, it felt amazing.

Jimin yelled your name, pulling you in for a tight hug, “We did it!”

“I know!”

Once all the teams had finished, the top 2 teams were announced and your college name was called out.

In front of the entire crowd, you hold intertwined your hands, head hung low and eyes shut right as you awaited for the results. The cheerleader holding the 2nd prize trophy walked back and forth between the two college teams as the announcer evilly drags on the result.

Your heartbeat was pounding loudly and you could feel it in your head, all your hands clasped together were clammy from nervous sweat.

Jungkook’s hopefully eyes stayed locked on your figure as he waited for announcements from the crowd.

The other college was called and your entre team’s knees went weak, buckling as some immediately fell to the ground.

Deafening screams erupted as you were pulled into a big group hug, you guys had just defended your title.

Your team was the reigning national champion once again.

Tears were falling as everyone congratuler each other. Your coach and assistant coach ran up to mat to join the group hug as your team proudly accepted the winning trophy.

You had made your way off the stag to reunite with the other cheer members as the public slowly started to approach you for a team photo.

With tears all over your faces, you posed for the group photos as thanked all your teammates with a big hug.

“Yn!”

You heard his voice amongst the chaos.

You felt yourself immediately searching for the familiar pair of eyes in the crowd. The moment your eyes landed on him, you rushed up towards him, his arms wide open ready to accept you.

Jungkook pulled you in for tight embrace, repeatedly saying “congrats, you did it, I know you guys would win”. Tears flowed down your face once again still not believing what had just happened.

It felt so surreal and yet being in Jungkook’s embrace felt even more surreal. It was as if you were in a dream.

“Congrats yn!” You heard Yoongi’s voice from behind Jungkook.

You pulled away to see not only Yoongi but the entire rugby team with him. They were cheering proudly, chanting your college’s name with pride. Your eyes immediately farted back to Jungkook who had kept his arms around you.

“Did you…?”

“Yes, I convinced everyone to come. They’d be missing on such a stellar performance.”

As if your grin couldn’t get any bigger, your broke into a euphoric laugh, “You’re amazing.”

“You’re calling me amazing? After what your team had just displayed back there? You must be blind—“

Maybe it was the adrenaline rush, the high influx of dopamine from winning the competition and from being in his embrace. It didn’t matter, when your lips met his, you knew that was all that mattered at that moment.

You felt Jungkook lean into the kiss, his arms pulling you closer to his body. Both of you could hear your cheer team behind you and Jungkook’s rugby team behind him, both cheering your names.

You guys laughed into the kiss when you heard Yoongi and Jimin loudly expressed their thoughts. “It’s about time.”

“I swear I thought they’ll never get to this stage.”

—

His bright and welcoming smile never failed to make your day, no matter how tired you were. You never thought that you’d love going for rugby practices and matches. It was the complete opposite scenario from the beginning of the year.

But now, it never got boring to watch your boyfriend get into his sport. You would always tell him that he looked attractive when he was serious. You enjoyed doing that because it always made him fluster and fumble over his words.

“I-I don’t… Nah… I don’t look cute when I’m serious.” He would adjust the neckline of his shirt, trying to maintain a nonchalant expression on his face.

“You’re finally done.” You made your way down the bleachers, “I’ve been thinking about dessert the past 30 minutes.”

Jungkook nodded his head, extending his arms out to pull you into a sweaty hug. He placed a light kiss on your forehead, pulling back slightly to get a better view of your face.

“Ice cream?”

Deja Vu.

You remembered the first night you hung out with Jungkook after meeting him at the after party. When you were at the bus stop ready to go home.

WIth a grin, you leaned in to kiss his soft lips lightly, “I’m down.”

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northern-passage · 4 years ago

Note

I don't want to rehash old news, but I need to say this and others need to hear it. I am so tired of people demanding IFs to be more of the same! This and that choices, this and that characters. It is INTERACTIVE FICTION. nowhere does it say that every game is a self-insert (which is an issue on its own). if you're playing a predetermined person who you can guide... It is STILL interactive fiction!! Driving me crazy. and to end it nicely; One of the best IFs ever! Love love love

yeahhh no i totally agree. no shade towards cog here but they have a very basic formula pretty much every one of their very popular games follow and bc cog sort of has this...iron grip on the IF genre due to being so mainstream, like on the app store and on steam, people think this is like.... the end all be all of interactive fiction and people compare Everything to the same three games over and over again.

and it’s not the end all be all at ALL there is SO much more interactive fiction out there. i actually got into IF on itch.io, and in the beginning i only read visual novels because i’m a child and love looking at pretty pictures. i do think the fact that i found IF this way and not through cog has been what’s influenced my style and the way i approach IF. i didn’t start reading cog until last summer, and honestly i prefer most of the wips i’ve read over actual published content. that’s what pushed me to write my own. and it sucks that cog won’t share choicescript bc it’s SUCH a good starting coding language, it’s so accessible and easy to learn.

and i’ve said before i’m just not interested in writing a flat, blank slate character. that’s SO boring for me as a writer and i also don’t like it as a reader.

i think seeing how your decisions change a character is so much more interesting than just having a generic, over-powered, essentially faceless character. now, i DO know why people enjoy that - we all love a good self-insert from time to time - but i really wish readers would break out of this mold cog has made.

itch.io can be a little overwhelming at first, but honestly it has a really nice tag and filter system (which is critical bc itch.io DOES have a lot of nsfw, though i’ve never had any issue w the safe filter on) to find stuff you like. also, if there’s an author you follow who has work on itch.io chances are they have favorites themselves listed on their profile, or will give out recs if you ask. in fact, i’ll list some of my recs right now:

we know the devil - one of the first VNs i bought and read. if you enjoy this one, def check out pillowfight’s other work

lookouts - one of my favorite short pieces.

lake of voices - a lot of people are familiar with Our Life, by GBpatch, but i absolutely love lake of voices. voiced characters, a little bit of angsty romance, death, and horror...mwah

love is strange - a CLASSIC. i played this before i even played life is strange. so imo you don’t even need to be that familiar with the original game it’s based on.

ebon light - i watched this game come to life while i followed the author’s process and saw how much love and time was put into it and i just can’t not recommend it. a dark fantasy game w romance and politics

a mortician’s tale - very different. a game about death. i’m a big fan of the order of the good death, and i actually got this game for free at some point, but it made me feel. emotions.

contrition - this one is so good. put on head phones, turn out the lights. great use of sound and music and just really good atmosphere.

cowgirl boots - love love love this one. more of a narrative than IF but it’s short and you should read it anyways. makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

is it that deep, bro? - another one that stuck with me for a while.

what girls do in the dark - this one takes me back to the old school text adventure games, but with a twist. found this one through john wolfe’s HQ residential house game jam and really enjoyed it.

the shadows that run alongside our car - another short conversational story. stuck with me for a while after i played it.

a tale of crowns - a chapter by chapter tale where you are the long awaited crown. really enjoy this one, very refreshing to read fantasy written like this. love the setting and the characters

crosshollow - multiple games, sort of like an anthology, all sharing the same setting. surreal and emotional

heartforge - some of you may already be familiar with heartforge, having started in choicescript then moved to twine. multiple games, all very different, all very good

the eight years revolution - full transparency, i’m friends with this author and we talk frequently. set over a span of eight years, you are starting out as a sheltered and naive royal, a young monarch running from a rebellion...

wayfarer - a fantasy game where you play as a wayfarer, with lots of customization options and a very interesting story

love & friendship - another author i am friends with and talk with often. love the humor in this game and the take on the regency genre.

scout - one of my all time favorites. set in an apocalyptic future, you are a scout from a small community, frequently running missions for supplies and information..

there’s this girl - whew. a short one, but emotional. this creator has quite a few works on itch.io, though some of them tend to lean towards the heavy, emotional side. recommend though if that’s something you’re looking for.

emily is away - again, one of the first IF games i played. it’s been years but it’s one that stuck with me. i think it’s worth mentioning simply to show what IF games can be like

birdland - genuinely think this is the first IF game i ever played. i have a soft spot for it because of that, as well as the story itself, which meant a lot to me when i first read it.

whew! i am certain i am forgetting some games and will curse myself later, but this is getting to be a bit long. i really encourage yall to just click around on itch.io in the interactive fiction/visual novel tag and see if you can find something you like. there is SO much out there...

#i read a lot of games yall LOL #other games #ask #anonymous

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merakiui · 4 years ago

Note

just thought of something here: a reverse harem ddlc au with sucrose, xiao, kazuha, and venti as your very(very!!!) friendly but undateable npc. he didn't mean to make sucrose kill herself the night before the music festival, but he would be lying if he said it didn't make it a teensy bit easier to be closer to you, to revel in the magnificence of something real and free, instead of the two-dimensional pieces of code he has to share a game with. and for some reason, even after seeing such a horrible, horrible sight, you reload the game and continue playing like nothing had changed. that has to mean something, right? venti hopes it does.

kazuhas new dialogue after you restart is... strange. it's so noticeable that even prickly xiao pulls you aside to mumble something about getting him help, before doing a complete 180 and telling you "not to care about that poetry jackass." venti acts as a mediator now, which is bad because he's not a very good mediator. many of kazuha and xiaos previous silly little banters have turned into full blown arguments, that make everybody uncomfortable. venti ends up just pulling your character out of the room and letting them blow up at each other privately, which often ends with xiao leaving for the day. you come to appreciate the time you spend with venti in the hall, like a breath of fresh air. venti hopes that your view of him stays that way when he enacts the final stage of his plan.

anyway, just had this stuck in my head for a while. sorry for making you read this.

-🥕

AAAAH OMG 🥕!!!! \(//∇//)\ YOU ARE A GENIUS!!! Please don’t apologize!! This idea is amazing! I have to share some of my thoughts as well.

(cw: yandere, unhealthy behaviors, obsession, mention of suicide)

Sucrose is such a sweetheart, too. That’s what makes her death even more upsetting. She was your dear friend—the one who got you to join the music club in the first place. She felt that it would benefit you to join, considering the two of you knew each other and it wouldn’t feel as lonely in the club if you were there. And it was lots of fun during the time she was alive! Sucrose was able to slowly open up more to the club and although she was still shy she was able to gain some confidence with you at her side. This helped her share her music with her fellow club members, but she was never truly confident in her abilities.

And whenever she got self-conscious, you would be there to remind her to do her best no matter what. Because as long as she was having fun that’s what truly mattered! Of course it’s startling when the game’s lighthearted tone shifts into something darker and you as the player feel sad knowing that Sucrose is gone. But it’s just a game; you can’t truly get as attached to a character as you would a real person. Despite that, though, Sucrose’s suicide still hurts. You realize this as you continue playing. You miss her presence in the game; it feels incomplete without her.

But you’re forced to overcome it as you now know the game’s true genre.

Kazuha is your typical nice guy. Always offering to help. Always knows what’s best for his friends. Always calm and gentle, never needing to raise his voice or get into useless arguments in order to prove a point. You’re drawn to him because he’s so easy to get along with. He likes to come to the club room a little earlier than the other members, which means that the two of you are often alone together. You learn more about Kazuha through the time you spend with him: how he lost a close friend, how he likes poetry, and how he’s come to appreciate the little things in life after losing so much in his past. You can’t help but feel bad and you make sure to choose the comforting dialogue options over the ones that feel a little harsher whenever you can.

The character you play as acts oblivious to Kazuha’s interest in you and as the game progresses a certain someone notices it right away. Venti likes to tease the two of you about it, calling you the club’s ‘cutest couple of musicians’ or subtly shining light on Kazuha’s crush by voicing his observations.

You’re sitting closer to (Name) than usual, Kazuha! Could it be puppy love?

Whatcha writing about? Hey, this poem’s pretty good! You’re a man of many romantic talents, aren’t you? I bet it’s all for (Name), right?

That last song was awfully sorrowful. Could it be that you and (Name) are going through a lovers’ spat?

It’s all jokes, of course, but you can’t ignore Kazuha’s blush or the way he smiles shyly and doesn’t deny it. You suppose you’d like him as well if he was a real person. He has nearly every quality of a perfect boyfriend! It’s a shame he’s just a character in a game. You really do enjoy talking to him and reading through his cute poems. Speaking of those poems, they’re always so interesting. Sometimes they’re deep and filled with a melancholy you’ve never known before. And sometimes they’re about the stray cat he saw on his way to school or the leaves that rustle in the afternoon breeze.

But after Sucrose’s suicide, those poems change abruptly. They’re darker and scary—obsessively detailing a love that is one-sided and twisted. Even though you know it’s meant to be a horror game, it still spooks you. Kazuha happily allows you to read his newest poems while he absentmindedly taps at the keys on the keyboard, playing a melody that can’t possibly count as a one. Those poems show his obsession in a clarity that’s clearer than the most opaque gems. It sends a shiver down your spine. You don’t want to talk to him anymore.

Everyone’s been a little odd ever since Sucrose died. That’s to be expected, though. The grieving and coping processes are tough. But whenever you try to bring her up, you’re met with the same question: who’s Sucrose? No one seems to remember her—not even Xiao. As grumpy and cold as he is, he was always kind to Sucrose. She went to him whenever she had questions about the electric guitar. Even though she didn’t play it, she was curious to learn and Xiao, after much pestering from you, agreed to teach her. So the fact that even he can’t remember her…

Xiao’s got a rough exterior, but once you get beyond that you’ll find that he can be nice. He offers you snacks and has come to enjoy playing for you. He’s really good with the electric guitar. You could sit and listen to him play all day. Too bad Venti likes to interrupt the two of you with the songs he strums out on his ukulele. It may seem like he doesn’t care about anyone, but that’s not true. He worries over you and the other members whenever they show up late or appear visibly distressed. If anyone ever comments on it, he’s quick to scoff and dismiss it, saying that he couldn’t care less if they bothered to show up to the club or not. But when he pulls you aside to secretly address the situation with Kazuha you can’t help but feel weird about it.

It’s true that Kazuha has started acting creepy ever since everyone stopped remembering Sucrose, but no one’s really commented on it. Even Xiao’s worried for the guy. He’s just not normal. But what’s normal anymore? It’s not like you’d know and neither would Xiao if he happened to glance at Kazuha’s writing. And you’re glad that Xiao cares. The both of you agree that Kazuha would benefit from some type of help and you want to get him that help as soon as possible.

But Venti really doesn’t like it when secrets are kept. How could you not talk to him about this? He wants to help, too! Maybe you’d feel more inclined to tell him if Xiao was out of the picture. Although he really doesn’t want to hurt anyone else, especially not himself. It’s hard to get rid of his friends, even if they are just code meant to follow a specific script. They don’t even feel a thing, not truly. Maybe you’ll see that he cares as much as Xiao does if Xiao stops caring.

Things fall apart. Xiao's meaner than before and he’s quick to anger and even quicker to get into a fight. He bickers with Kazuha a lot now. It used to be useless quarrels about how Kazuha’s always leaving his supplies out when they should be put away to make space for practice. But now it’s about anything and everything, from the little things to the big things. You watch their friendship wither away into ash alongside Venti, who can only offer a sympathetic smile and an “oh well!” before yanking you outside for a breath of fresh air. He does this a lot. He lets their friendship crumble.

Venti likes to talk to you. It’s a shame there’s never enough time. That’s the issue here: not enough time. How could you possibly have any left when it’s being distributed among the others? How could you think of him when your mind is occupied with Sucrose, Xiao, and Kazuha? How can you think to focus on him when they’re showing their affection for you in little ways that you can hardly notice? Venti’s not going to lie to himself about his jealousy. He hates feeling this way. These negative emotions weigh him down. All he wants is to be happy and freely live his life with you. You’ve chased away his perpetual loneliness. There’s no way he could ever stand by and watch as you choose everyone else but him.

Even if he isn’t meant to be an option, he’ll find a way around it. Who cares if the game wants him to be the cute and supportive NPC who’ll never get to have you? He’s going to listen to his heart and what his heart wants is you. But is it truly freedom if he’s trapped in this game, terribly aware of his existence, while you’re on the outside, just barely out of reach? Still, he wants to pursue love. Even if it hurts him and those around him. Even if this ‘love’ does more harm than good. He has to do what he must so that you’ll finally consider him.

And you will because he’s the only one who’s left.

#chit chat #🥕 anon #yandere #yandere venti #i'm so sorry for rambling but AAAHH #i love this idea so much #ddlc is such a fun game

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lupically · 4 years ago

Text

#3B797A | XIAO.

genre | angst

word count | 1707

warning | mention of death, mention of blood, faint mention of injury

note | this was originally posted on my other writing blog, i am moving it here because... well, i have a genshin writing blog now. and, once again, this is not very good. let’s hope i get better at this!

if karmic debt is a real thing, this must be xiao’s worst one yet.

he swore he would keep an eye on you after the first time you died on him.

he has never felt anguish like it.

of all the invisible chains tied around his struggling limbs and his fragile neck, of all the pain and misery he has been put through over the years of his catastrophic life, of all the repressed memories and emotions he kept fighting back to keep his sanity at bay, he has never felt anguish and manic like he did when he saw your lifeless body on the ground with an arrow stuck to your back.

it was the worst one yet, especially when he was the reason why you ended up with a bed of bloody roses underneath you.

he swore he would keep an eye on you after that.

and then came the second time you died. that was also because of him.

the blood that trickled down your lips as you smiled at him was vivid in his memories. he was supposed to be fond of the way you felt relieved to see him there, after he had carried you behind a fallen wall so you didn’t have to see him deal with the treasure hoarders who put you in such a bad state for trying to take a pair of emerald earrings back.

he was, to a certain degree, when you choked out his name in that god-awfully brilliant voice of yours. it was faint, but he could hear the genuine happiness in you when you called his name.

you were always so excited to see him. ever since you dropped atop of him from the sky, apparently coming from nowhere, you have been happy to see him. he was undeserving of that; the chances you have given him at experiencing how soft this world can be was undeserved, but nonetheless, xiao was fond of the way you make him feel, more than he would like to admit, more than anything he has ever seen or heard or felt in this world.

you were the fondest he has ever felt. it was all you.

but the fondness goes like dust and ashes when you reached up with the pair of emerald earrings you bought him, which he dumped in the middle of the ruins because he was being petty about something insignificant he could no longer remember.

the sight of them gave him a moment of realization—you were here because of him.

and then you took your last breath—you died because of him, again.

he didn’t know how to feel when you didn’t respond to your own name. he kept calling for you—[name], wake up, he said. [name], stop playing around, you know you’re not funny, he said. [name], [name], [name]. but your eyes remained closed, so he held you close for the first time, and he exchanged the tears with apologies.

he promised he would keep an eye out for his actions after that.

yet here he was.

don’t die. please don’t die.

he dropped his spear and crouched down frantically next to you. he was still panting from the fight with the three ruin guards patrolling around fallen pillars and buildings, but what made him stress, even more, was less because of his sore body and more because of your bleeding head.

“[name]? [name], open your eyes, right now!” he said—scolded, in the voice he always talked to you with, the fondly defeated tone that showed he has surrendered his annoyance for your happiness, but with more urgency this time.

you coughed, feeling more lifeless than ever. there was a rush of deja vu back then, just a few moments ago when xiao gently laid you against the wall and left after telling you to stay still and keep your eyes open for him. it was like you have lived through this moment before, but you were hurting too much from your head wound to think into it.

xiao breathed out a sigh of relief.

thank the archons.

“hey, xiao…” you greeted with a faint smile, then you reached your hand up to give him the quingxin you picked. “flowers… got you flowers… for crowns… ”

he pursed his lips. you silly! you bone-head! why did you not just buy them from the flower shop? was what he wanted to say. even though knowing you, you would probably spill some weird argument like how flowers picked by other people wouldn’t have the same freshness and love in them, and he would say nothing because there was no winning for him when it comes to you.

he never has anything to say. nothing to go against your favors, and certainly nothing that makes you worry ever again. nothing that will get you running into forests alone to pick him flowers and risk the chance of you stumbling into ruin guards, or hilichurls, or treasure hoarders, or abyss mages.

(maybe the one you should avoid is him.)

“come on, let’s get you to the doctor, okay?” he said as he discarded the flowers at a frantic pace.

he looped your arms around his neck and hoisted you on his back. his spear sparkled next to the white flowers on the ground, reflecting a halo glow upward as if telling on him to the sky about what he did to you again. he took off running back to the city, praying to the archons that he could end your pain quicker, that he could find someone to stop the hurting faster.

but it seemed destiny had other plans.

he paused for a second to catch his breath. he did not notice the way your arms had long gone slack around his shoulders, and how you kept slipping off his back as if you could no longer support yourself. he was deliberately ignoring the details that signified your death, his delusional consciousness wishfully thinking that he would make it to the doctors in time.

“we’re getting there, [name],” he said as if he could still feel your short breath against his neck.

“you’re going to be fine, i will make sure,” he said as he began walking as if he could still feel your chest heave against his back.

“i will keep you safe next time, i promise,” he said as he leaned forward a little because your lifeless body was starting to slip off his back again.

“and then we can go pick flowers together, and you can make me flower crowns,” he croaked with guilted tears running down his cheeks, a smile on his face as if he wasn’t just given hope that he could save you this time, only to have you die on his back.

all because he said he would never put on a flower crown, and you insisted that he has to try.

(maybe the one you should avoid is him.)

the evil archon was silent when xiao appeared before it with your dead body. this was the third time. it was starting to see a pattern, and all it felt was glee that the pattern it has carefully cultivated was working in its favor.

because what better to keep the adepti under control than to make him feel indebted to itself? what better to keep the adepti under control than to keep reviving his dead lover and make him think they have a surviving chance this time around? what better to keep the adepti under control than to kill his lover and use his guilt against him every single time?

“dead again? what have you done?”

“please… help me…” xiao laid your body before the archon, which was just a statue without a face.

“reviving a human that was consumed by death takes a great deal of power, alatus.”

xiao gritted his teeth, but he said nothing when he could feel your skin under his gripping fingers. he lowered his head, pushing down the horrendous amount of anger and humiliation to the back of his mind, and he begged.

he begged for another chance to see your beautiful eyes smile under the moon again, he begged for another chance to hear you talk on and on about the wondrous world you two live in together, he begged for another chance to feel your radiant soul live near him and to let you show him around the city as if he could not already navigate through it with his eyes closed.

(he could not. he knew the concrete roads and the old stone walls, but he could never know about the smooth flower petals dancing with the wind and the tender glow of the sky everyone shared without you taking his hand and dragging him across all parts of the world.)

(just like cotton candy, you told xiao. his frown melts like cotton candy, whatever cotton candy was.)

“i’ll do anything,” he said.

“for the mortal. really.”

“i will do anything,” xiao declared again.

the golden flair in his eyes almost made the evil archon shiver.

it was radiating off of him—the heat of anguish and terror that he had once killed you, the heat of unfairness and humiliation that he has to stoop so low as to meddle with life and death, the heat of extreme affection for a lover he now has nowhere to cast upon because the sole receiver has long died in his arms.

all for a mortal. a special mortal. a mortal who has made someone who hates, love. a mortal who has made him, him who hates and scorns, love. not just themself, but everything else around him—music, flowers, lights, cities. a mortal who made sure he will always love, still, even after the sole reason for his affection is gone and he no longer has a reason to be gentle.

the archon wanted to laugh.

truly. the only thing more maleficent than love itself is the act of using it against someone.

looking at xiao right now—inadequate, fragile, chained, and so miserable.

oh, how it worked in its favor.

it has done so many things to the poor boy, but this one, oh, this would be the worst one yet.

#genshin x reader #genshin imagines #genshin impact imagines #genshin x you #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #genshin impact #genshin xiao #xiao imagines #xiao x you #genshin impact xiao #genshin xiao x reader #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin fanfic #genshin scenarios #genshin impact scenarios #xiao scenarios

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desiredmalfoy · 4 years ago

Text

Star Crossed Lovers

Word Count: 1.6k

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Muggle Reader

Genre: Angst (I’m so sorry for the ending….)

Universe: Wizarding War happens in this universe.

I cried while writing the ending :) I’m a very sensitive person. I apologize for any mistakes.

Listen to “The One That Got Away” cover by Brielle Von Hugel for the full experience while reading if you would like.

(Gif is not mine. Credit to the owner)

Summer after high school when we first met

You had met a couple of weeks you had just finished your last year at school. You were off to university in just two months and you wanted to enjoy your life before you were stuck once again in an absolute mundane routine. You weren’t one to party much but your friends had decided to take you to various pubs for the first time in your life.

That’s when you met him.

He was standing near the bar with a couple more guys surrounding him. His laughter could somehow be heard over the slight music and noise of the pub. You were pulled toward him, your friend Mia had actually met one of the guys in his group just last week. You felt as if the universe was pulling you to him. You gravitated toward him.

“Hello beautiful, my name is Fred”, a voice sweet as honey snapped you out of your train of thought. He smiled warmly at you as waited for your response.

“Pleasure to meet you, Fred. My name is (Y/N)”, you extended your hand to introduce yourself. He grabbed your smaller hand and firmly shook it. Electricity seems to be coursing through your body. As if it was a sign from up above.

“A name so beautiful to fit such a lovely girl.”

As the night dragged on, you spent your time with him. It felt as if you had known him your entire life. The conversation flowed so easily that it seemed as if you had met him before. You felt as if you knew him from somewhere. He looked at you as if you were talking about the most interesting things ever. Before you knew it, it was time to go as your friends were starting to get tired and were very much tipsy.

“It was very fun getting to know you”, he spoke as he swished the drink in his hand a bit.

“I hope to see you again. I’ve enjoyed our time together.”

“I hope so too”, he answered. “Jack said he wanted to return here next week.”

“I will see you here next week if you would like”, you responded boldly. You grabbed a small piece of paper and pen from your purse and scribbled your number on the page. “But here is my number in case there is a change of plans.”

“Thank you.”, his smile warms your heart instantly as you placed the paper in his hand. “Maybe next time you’ll be able to meet my twin George.”

“Is he anything like you?” You teased him.

“Same face but completely different personality.” Fred laughed.

We'd keep all our promises. Be us against the world

What (y/n) didn’t know was that meeting Fred that night would a once in a lifetime chance. One of his muggle friends during his years at Hogwarts had convinced him to go with him and some other guys to some pubs in the muggle world. Fred was hesitant at first, he knew they had the responsibility of the shop. But George had convinced him to go after he had been feeling stuck for a while.

Meeting you, a girl he would have never crossed paths with if he had not taken his friend up on his offer, was once in a lifetime experience.

The relationship progressed nicely as you both got to know each other. He spoke about his parents and all the siblings he had. He spoke about them with much love. You knew his likes and dislikes. Your heart fluttered every time you heard him say “hello beautiful”.

But there were things you had yet to know about him. He was very discrete in certain aspects of his life. Your parents had gifted you a flat to gain some independence as university and adulthood approached. Which was a good thing because most of your dates took place at your flat or going out. You didn’t mind though, you simply wanted to spend time with Fred.

He was very unaware of certain technology. He’d always tell you his parents weren’t big on modern technology, which is why he hadn’t ever watched tv or used a phone. You loved to show him the wonders of the world he was yet to experience. From your favorite films to your favorite songs. The two of you danced the night away.

You still remembered the first time he kissed you. Fred and you had been listening to some music, dancing around your living room. The song ended and you both crashed on the sofa with you accidentally landing on top of him. As you both attempted to catch your breath, you looked into his brown eyes. Time seemed to freeze as you both were now looking at each other, not saying a single word.

He leaned forward and placed a desperate kiss on your lips. One that felt so right. Lifting your lips only from him momentarily to catch your breath before you straddled his hips. You leaned in to continue the kiss, each movement becoming more desperate than the last. You don’t know how long you stayed like this, but you wouldn’t care if it was for eternity.

“You're so beautiful”, Fred said a bit out of breath as he grabbed your face and brought it close to his. This time placing a small kiss on your lips. “ I don’t know how I ever got so lucky.”

“I need you Fred”, you whispered as you brought him towards you. “I need you.”

“Then you’ll have me beautiful.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Never planned that one day I'd be losing you

You wished that things would’ve stayed perfect. Just like a dream. But even the most perfect dreams are eventually shattered. Everything was going well for the past six months and then suddenly he begun to act differently. Fred seemed more stressed than usual but blamed it on his job. He had told you that he just worked in a shop in town. The visits from him become much more scarce as the weeks drag on. He used to come in every other day but now you were lucky if you saw him every week. University kept you busy though, which helped distract you from the absence of your boyfriend.

Every time he showed up at your flat, he looked like a former shell of himself. His already pale skin, becoming even more white. The dark rings around his eyes seemed more prominent than the last time you saw him. He looked so broken.

“Fred you need to talk to me. What’s wrong.” You begged him as you followed him from your room to the living room of your flat.

“Nothing is wrong. Why can’t you understand that.” Fred ran his hand angrily through his messy hair.

“You need to stop lying to me.” Your voice began to crack from the desperation you were feeling.

“You can’t help me because nothing is wrong!”

“But I want to try to”, you were now fully crying at this point. Tears were streaming down your face as you reached for his hand. An act of desperation. “Why don’t you trust me?”

He turned to face you and looked down at your hand that grasped his much larger one. You thought he was about to tell you what was truly bothering you but you were wrong.

He pulled his hand out of yours and walked to leave. His voice began to crack. “I love you but I can’t. I’m sorry we need a break.”

With that, he closed the door to your relationship. You stood dumbfounded in the middle of your living room as you watched the love of your life walk away.

Sadness filled your body as you collapsed on the floor crying. Crying so hard that no noise escaped your mouth. You felt numb. All you could feel was the cold of the tile numbing your body. You wanted to run after him, beg him to stay. But it was too late now. You didn’t even have a number to reach him at. He said they didn’t use phones.

In another life, I would make you stay.

The days passed and you had yet to hear from him. You felt empty as your days went on. Your daily routine felt so numbing as you continued on with your day. You hoped every day that he would come knocking on your door ready to finally speak to you.

Your friends heard of your breakup and started to take you out again to the pubs. You only went hoping to see him again. But he was never there, neither were any of his friends.

You missed him so much.

You stayed home after that and listened to all the songs the two of you like to listen to together. Reminiscing of every memory you had together. Every moment the two of you shared. Every touch, every kiss, and every moment of intimacy.

You missed him every second of your life.

Never planned that one day I'd be losing you

You didn’t know that somewhere else Fred was taking his final breath. As his thoughts lingered on a lover he never got to say goodbye to. A lover that when he last saw her, it ended in a screaming match. A lover he was going to visit after this blasted war, and finally explain it all to her.

One day he would see you again. One day you would be his.

You never knew what happened to the man that stole your breath away. The man that made you feel like the center of the Earth each day. The man whose touch brought you euphoria.

You moved on with your life hoping that one day you would see him for just one last time.

You got married to a wonderful person and had two children with them. But somehow he always stuck in the back of your mind.

Your life would never be complete until you heard “hello beautiful” just one more time.

And you didn’t hear that until you took your last breath. Finally joining the lover you missed.

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jonnnysuh · 4 years ago

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Never Not - Park Jinyoung

Pairing: idol!Jinyoung x gender neutral reader

Summary: Your bad day is turned around when your childhood best friend, Jinyoung, returns to your hometown and takes you on a tour of your favourite memories together.

Genre: angst, fluff, friends to lovers

Warnings: suggested sexual experience

Word Count: 4.3k

Requested by: Anon

A/N: Hi guysssss. I took a small break from tumblr bc I got super busy with work. I haven’t written something like this in a while, but I actually loved how it turned out. I recommend listening to Never Not by Lauv to get into the mood <33

Effort was hard to make these days. Even the way you walked had an unmistakable slouch. Your exhaustive strides were just a shallow reminder that there used to be a hop in your step. Five more minutes and you were free from the shackles of work. Free to figure out what to make for dinner, and appease the gurgles of your stomach.The seconds on the point of sale system didn't seem to move fast enough as you folded the customer's final item and shoved it into a bag.

When you were a kid, no one told you how exhausting being an adult was, and thus it became something to look forward to. You were so caught up on getting that first kiss, sneaking out to go to parties, seeing people that your parents didn't approve of, that you didn't realize that life didn't slow down from there. It was like you blinked, and you were no longer 16. Instead, you were twenty-something perpetually feeling like life was just an endless pit of "what ifs" and building up the courage to make something of yourself. Another mindless "Have a good day." escaped your lips as you bid a customer bye for the nth time that day. You wondered how many of your years would waste away telling others to have a good day, when you yourself hadn't had one in a while.

You pressed your fingers against your temple to sooth a small growing headache. Working in retail for as long as you had, you knew that the s-curved line of people didn't stop for your discomfort. With a fake smile on your face, you welcomed the next few customers as your eyes wandered around the store looking for the person who was going to take over for the next hour. Fifteen minutes past the hour, your replacement finally came. Externally, you wanted to scream and ask them what took you so long? but you knew that would only make you as good as the worst customer. Graciously, you nodded at them, before walking away to the back room to fetch your things and head out.

...

You stood against the wall at the bus shelter shivering from the cool summer breeze that was disguising just how rapidly autumn was truly coming. Today probably wasn't the best day to forget your coat. You rubbed your arms for warmth, taking micro footsteps in place. The pain in your feet made you romanticize the comfort of the sturdy old bus seats as a place of rest. You felt your phone in your pocket vibrate, but you let it ring out. You were determined to get a seat on this bus. A deep sigh escaped you as you surveyed the density of the crowd on the platform- the ride home was definitely going to be longer than usual. When the bus arrived, you queued behind a long line of people. Your phone rang a second time, at this point the crowd was getting larger and you knew you weren't going to get a seat on this bus.

PRIVATE CALLER

"Hello?" you pressed your phone to your ear. Sometimes your mother used phone booths to reach you, so you expected her voice to be on the other end of the line. "I'm offended I had to call you twice for you to pick up." The voice was much deeper, and the delivery much more lighthearted than anything that would've came out of your mother. The absence of a greeting was distinct and direct, but no matter, you knew exactly who this was.

You felt the tenseness of your shoulders drop with just the sound of this voice. "If I had definitely known it was you, I wouldn't have picked up, Mr. Private caller." you jest with the phone pressed between your ear and the crook of your shoulder.

"You know, I was gonna suggest that I pick you up, but just for that comment, I change my mind."

You poke your tongue at your cheek, coyly. For all the changes that occurred in your life, for some reason you could depend on Jinyoung's quick wit and humour to hit the spot even after all this time.

"That's fine, I just finished work so I was thinking of just going home anyways." You had no idea he was even back in South Korea. Last you heard, he was on tour somewhere in North America. More than that, you couldn't even remember when the last time you actually talked was. You were curious about what he was up to these days, but you you knew any hint of urgency in your voice would lead to incessant teasing on his part. The line progressed slightly, but you still didn't feel any closer to the entrance of the bus.

"I'm about to get on a bus home."

"Well, don't get on."

"If I don't get on then you're gonna have to repay me for the fare I paid to even get here." You eyed the bus reaching its capacity, and stepped aside. You twisted your fingers in hope that he was being 100% serious, otherwise you were going to have to wait out for the 6:30pm bus.

"I can't believe the cost of your attention is only $2. Do better." the voice quipped.

"Okay, Jinyoung I guess I'll just get on, then." you threatened, although you had no intention of boarding the departing bus.

"Fine, fine. I'll pay for your fare. Just wait for me."

...

The sky had darkened tenfold since you hung up from Jinyoung's impromptu call. The streetlights glowed gold against the lavender backdrop of the sky. You sat on the bus shelter bench, swinging your feet back and forth as you waited for him. If he took even a minute longer, you vowed to somehow become the president of the Park Jinyoung hate club. Of course, you wouldn't actually, but the idea became more appealing the longer you waited.

You weren't one to go on spontaneous outings- at least not since your teenage years. Recently, you followed the strict routine of work, home, sleep, and to stray from it seemed pointless. But the fact that he even thought of you when he came back home to South Korea was still not something you could wrap your head around.

In the distance, a glow of headlights appeared, stopping perfectly adjacent to your bus stop. The window rolled down, and there appeared Jinyoung's face in all its glory. To say all the words in your vocabulary disappeared would be an understatement. A part of you doubted he would even follow through. Without missing a beat, he returned a look to you. "You just gonna stare at me, or are you gonna get in the car?"

...

Your backpack was sitting atop your lap, bouncing with the movement of the car. Jinyoung hung one hand over the steering wheel. The orange and purple of the sky twisting, and creating a brand new colour that only seemed to grace the skies at this hour. The music was unidentifiable, but the volume was low enough that you didn't even bother trying to figure it out.

"So what'd you do today?" he asked.

"I worked, I told you that." you replied, matter-of-factly.

"And how was it?"

"I honestly can't tell the difference between this week and last week. Or even last month. Same old, same old. Annoying customers, stale lunch, forgot my jacket at home even though it's 15 fucking degrees outside."

"Do you still work at that clothing store you started at when we were 20?"

Your eyes shifted, following the ever-changing scenery of the highway. No idea where he was bringing you, and yet you were brought to comfort by Jinyoung's habits. You knew he didn't have a drug deal, or a random party planned. Jinyoung was always the type to be home before midnight. He was a self-proclaimed goody-two-shoes, but you weren't completely fooled. You knew he could bend the rules if it seemed to serve him.

"That exact same one."

"Anything else?"

You looked at him, the shock settling in that he was really right next to you-- no longer just a figure on a billboard that you used to know. The changes of his physicality were subtle; his face was more defined, but his cheeks still carried the baby fat that had been there since childhood. The shadow of his facial hair loomed on his smooth skin. The mole on the top of his lip, not necessarily gone, but faded. He looked older, but the aura of his presence remained the same.

"And then I was dumb enough to get into a car with a stranger because he said he'd give me $2."

Jinyoung side eyed you, causing you to erupt in laughter. His glare was also unchanging. "Stranger? Your memory's fading already?" He shook his head disappointedly. "I thought you still had a few good years left."

"Oh yeahhhhhh. Sorry Jinyoungie. Didn't recognize you with all the fame." you pinched and pulled on his ear- both things a relic of your grade school years. When you were kids, you never let him forget the age gap. Granted, it was only 3 days, but that gave you the freedom to refer to him however you pleased, while he was stuck with the honorifics.

As you let go, the curve of his ear flushed red. "OWW.” he cried, swatting your hand away. “You’re lucky I’m driving otherwise I would pull your hair.”

Being raised with Jinyoung meant that you were inseparable but kind of in the worst way. If Jinyoung got a good mark on a test, his parents would immediately flaunt it to yours. If you wanted to sneak out, he was on your tail telling you to go back home. And if he knew you liked someone, then that person would know soon enough by the words of Jinyoung. All of that warranted ear pulling, and if you did something in retaliation he would pull your hair.

He was one of the few people in your life, who encapsulated a certain time of your life. The time in your life when you were young, and the world felt so big and everything was possible.

The car rocked back and forth as it shifted into the elevated ramp of a parking lot. Your eyes widened as you realized where you were. He lingered in his seat before popping his seatbelt off and exiting the car. You followed him, swinging the passenger door open.

"So you randomly called me because you wanted to hang out at the...convenience store?" you gestured to the old, orangey building. The bricks were chipped, and the fluorescent lights illuminated the outside through the big glass window. You remember the days when you and Jinyoung would sit on the parking blocks and split a bag of chips until you were chased off the property by the owner. He pulled on the store door, pressing his back to it and letting you enter first.

"Well, I wasn't going to come here until you started yanking my ears. That's when I knew you were hungry."

Without stopping, you weaved through the store until you reached aisle 3- the snack aisle had become a home to you and Jinyoung when you were growing up. In grade school, you were both fearful of what was beyond the boundaries of your home and school so you indulged in after school snacks at the convenience to talk about the latest happenings in your life. As you aged, it became the place of solace after exams, or the meetup location for last minute plans.

He picked up a package of gummy worms, and shook them in your face. "Do you remember what happened the last time we ate theseeee?" Jinyoung smirked. For a moment, you were taken aback by how much he had grown. In your teens, you and Jinyoung met eye to eye. Now, you felt like you had to look up at him in order to be taken seriously.

You crossed your arms, "Yeah, we ate them in the parking lot and you made me confess who I had a crush on."

"Chan, right?"

You nodded, with a sulk as you reminisced. "That wasn't fair."

"Why? Do you still have a crush on him?"

"I haven't thought about him in so long. You really think I'd have a lingering crush on a guy I haven't seen in years?"

Jinyoung shrugged, and shifted his feet. "You had a huge crush on him, though. You even stared at him like this." He rested his palm to his cheek, letting out a deep sigh while trying to maintain an enamoured expression. You snorted, hitting him on the chest. "You'd write his name all over your notebooks AND you bullied me into giving you one of my new ones." he added.

You let out a belly laugh. "And then I wrote his name all over that one too."

Jinyoung rolled his eyes. "They were premium quality notebooks. My aunt sent me them from the states!"

"You had a kabillion of them. Besides, you pestered me for-like-ever to know who I liked, but you never even told me who you had a crush on." You grabbed the bag of gummy worms from his hand and placed it in your shopping basket. Your attention shifted, as you realized you should be in search of your favourite chocolates. You knew that you were far too old to be eating junk food for dinner, but there was something familiar about being hyped up on food that you knew would rot your insides. Your eyes landed on the top row of the wall, and before you could grab your favourite chocolates, Jinyoung stripped it from the wall and dropped it into the basket. He piled on a bag of sour cream and onion chips, and then you both ventured to the drink refrigerators.

Both of you stared deeply at your drink options. On each level of the fridge, stood several different colourful drinks. If you knew Jinyoung, then you knew he would pick a Coke- it was something he swore by in your younger years. You hummed, mentally deciding between an iced tea or a vitamin water. You weren't sure why it bothered you when Jinyoung picked up a Sprite, but you tried to hide your dismay. With an ice tea in hand, and a basket full of both of your favourite things, you made your way to the cashier.

At the last moment, Jinyoung placed a bright yellow umbrella on the checkout counter. He looked down at you, surely, “You never know when it’s gonna rain.”

...

The following car ride to your next destination only lasted about 3 minutes before he parked on the side of the road and dragged you down the street, with the plastic bag full of your foods in hand.

"I should've known you were going to bring me here." you said, strolling down the familiar gravel pathway towards your elementary school. All colour in the sky had disappeared now, finding it hard to see anything but the outline of each other and some features.

Both of you settled on the grass field, onlooking the tall school building that was the foundation of your formal years. As soon as you opened the bag of chips, you found yourselves deep in conversation, talking about what life had been for him the last few years. You couldn't help but be in awe when he explained the rush he got when he got on stage, and how he got anxiety when he thought he wasn’t doing his best. The candidacy of his thoughts drew you in and you were surprised that he trusted you with his secrets.

All these years, you had always wondered what he was up to, if he was living a life far better than the one he left at home. To everyone else, he was this huge pop star that had travelled the world 3 times over, but to you, he was your best friend who left home at 16. You had seen him through the bad hair phases, the adolescent temper tantrums, the voice cracks, and the questionable fashion choices both your parents had put you in.

He leaned back on his arms as he gazed at the school. "Are you afraid of change?" You were silent for a moment as you thought. "On a scale of 1-10?" you rocked your head back and forth. "It's a 15."

Jinyoung raised his eyebrows. You held your legs to your chest, and looked at him. "Why?"

He opened his mouth, but quickly closed it and looked smugly in the other direction. "Heyyy." you poked him repeatedly. "You can't just ask me that and not tell me why."

He enclosed his hand around your finger, forcing your poking to come to a halt. It felt like he was studying your face. Never in your life had you ever felt like you were under the scope of Jinyoung's gaze. The darkness of the sky acted as a mask, hiding your blushing face.

"It was the last thing I asked you before I left." he admitted. "I asked you that when things were about to change big time for us… I always wondered if you resented me for leaving you behind."

The last day before Jinyoung left to become a full-time trainee, you two snuck on to this very same field. Both of you ran across the grass, picking up dandelions; believing that if you gathered enough and blew on them, that they would fuel your wishes.

“You thought I could resent you?” He nodded. “Well, for starters, I hate your guts.” You replied sarcastically, causing him to look at the ground with embarrassment and your face softened at the sight of it.

“You know what I wished for on all of those dandelions, Jinyoung?”

“Not to fail the math exam.” Even in a soft moment, he couldn’t help but be sly. “No!” You exclaimed.

“Well, you should’ve. You got a 48.” He sensed your killer look on him. “So what’d you wish for?”

You played with your fingers. You thought you’d take this secret to the grave. “I wished that you’d be successful in whatever you chose to do.” His eyes enlarged, alarmed at your confession. “but maybe I should’ve wished for the math thing.”

Jinyoung giggled, inching closer to you so your legs were pressed against each other.

“What did you wish for?” You asked. He smiled with the side of his mouth, shaking his head.

“I wished that I’d always find my way back home.” “Oh goddd.” You gagged. “you’re so corny.”

“What about you, huh? You used your wish on me!” he bellowed, his voice echoing against the school playground.

“Hey, I might just be the reason why you’re famous.” You fought back.

You flipped your phone over, 7:53, the brightness of it only barely illuminating the dark. You thought about what you would be doing at this moment if you weren’t here, if he hadn’t picked you up. Mmm probably falling asleep to a tv show. Probably dreading tomorrow. Probably not as happy.

"But what did I say? You know… the first time you asked me that question?” You couldn’t even begin to imagine how 16-year-old you answered.

"You said you were excited to see who we were going to become.” The words of your younger self were so hopeful, yet your current self felt hopeless. Your expression sank, and Jinyoung offered a small smile to revive it. He felt guilty having asked you the question in the first place.

You sat in silence for a bit, dwelling on the excitement for life that you once had. Where was it? And how could you get it back?

“I feel like I’ve let myself down. I don’t even know who I am now.”

Jinyoung blinked slowly, watching his childhood best friend crumble. He rested a hand on your shoulder. "I just look at you, and in so many ways you're the same. I still know what makes you laugh, and the way you say things. I can still pick out your favourite snacks, and know you’re gonna pull my ears when I do something to piss you off.” he yanked on yours softly. "Everything about you feels just how I left you. I feel my youth when I'm with you. But at the same time I’m comforted by how much you’ve changed.”

“I don’t think I’ve changed much.”

“You don’t see it, do you?” You shook your head no. “Do you remember how scared you were to even leave the house when we were kids? Now you live on your own. You never took anything seriously back then, but you’re now one of the hardest working people I know…” his voice softened. “And you let yourself be vulnerable with me when it used to take hours to drag it out of you.” You laid on his shoulder, and he rested his head on top of yours, snuggling closer. “You fear change, yet you’re changing right before your own eyes. And maybe one day, I’ll come back here, and I won’t even be able to recognize who you’ve become.” You sniffled, the idea of Jinyoung not remembering you broke your heart. You held your chest. “But if that day does come, it’ll be okay. Because I know that the person that you’ve become will have it all figured out. I’ll always be rooting for every single version of yourself even if it doesn’t include me.” You sobbed quietly, interlocking your fingers with his. He held your hand tightly, rubbing his thumb against the back of your hand. For once, there was an action not done out of habit or relic. It was an action evoked just for this moment, and it was a change that you didn’t mind.

…

Jinyoung held your hand, leading you down a narrow road a few minutes away. The sound of crickets, barking dogs, and distant vehicles could be heard as you stood in the middle of the road of your childhood neighbourhood.

You hadn’t been here since you moved in 2016. You looked up at the large modern house that sat on what used to be two lots. Yours and Jinyoung’s childhood homes were purchased by a wealthy business man and demolished to build the business man’s dream home. You stared at the foreign house that sat on the place of your childhood dreams and frustrations.

Jinyoung placed his hands on your shoulders and stopped you at the exact halfway point between what was once his house and your house. You rubbed your arms as a gust of wind rushed by. Without thinking, Jinyoung slipped off his hoodie and placed it on top of your shoulders.

“I remember racing you down this street.” You piped up, pointing down the end of the road. Jinyoung always won that race. No one was faster than him on this street.

“I remember finding that stray puppy and fighting over who got to keep it.” He responded.

“It should’ve been me.” You bickered. Jinyoung laughed, amused at how you were always one to hold a grudge.

“Do you remember that day when it started raining soooo hard and we had to walk shoulder to shoulder under my umbrella?”

You nodded. “Ya, that was the same day with the gummy worms, you dummy.”

“So do you remember what happened right here?” He pointed at the exact spot you were standing. You racked your head for a memory, but nothing stood out to you clearly. You shook your head no. “We always said bye to one another here...but…?” you trailed off.

He took a step forward, both of you standing directly under the streetlight now. You watched his face light up as he likely played the moment back in his head. “So that day, standing under my umbrella, we were about to go our separate ways. You turned into me.”

He took another step closer, popping open the bright yellow convenience store umbrella and holding it over your heads.

You could see it now. It was drizzling so hard, even your hair wasn’t protected from getting soaked. You wrapped your hands around the handle, just like how you did back then. Chest to chest, huddled under the umbrella. Jinyoung locked eyes with you, your heart beat faster.

“And you looked at me, and I swear I was going to say everything I wanted to tell you right then and there.” Your mouth opened in shock. “This was the place where I almost told you I loved you.”

You studied the eyes of the boy you watched grow up. He looked scared, but sure. There was no doubt in your mind that Jinyoung meant what he said. He lowered the umbrella, not letting his gaze veer from you.

Your life was just a build up of what if’s and trying to gain the courage to make something of yourself… but you didn’t want that anymore. With your heart beating out of control, you leaned into him, taking the risk and kissing his lips. He wrapped his arms around your waist, deepening the heat of the kiss.

A round of thunder boomed above you, and little by little, raindrops began to pour from the sky.

You and Jinyoung separated to look up at the sky. “I did say, you never know when it’s gonna rain.”

You both ran for the car, shoulder to shoulder, under the umbrella. From your heads to your toes, you were soaked in the rain, but neither of you cared. You silently thanked the world for every bad thing that happened to you today that led to this.

…

You blinked your eyes awake, surveying the damp clothes strewn across your living room floor, and the heat of the bare body laying next to you on the couch. You stared at your sleepy childhood best friend, a smile spreading across your lips. This was a change you were ready for.

48 notes · View notes

missyasf · 4 years ago

Text

Game Of Hearts

| 3 |

↳ Summary: Your life is in monotonous tones of grey, day in, day out. Nothing matters besides your sister, the only thing you remember is seeing fireworks before waking up to Tokyo abandoned . Soon enough you are properly introduced to the deadly Borderlands where you must fight for your life in Games to survive. When things can’t possibly get worse soon division arises and rivalries are made. No matter what though, you are constantly plagued by a blonde who, no matter how hard you try, just can’t seem to go too far without.

↳ Pairing: Chishiya/Reader

↳ Genre: Angst, smut, thriller

Word Count: 9.5k

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Trigger Warning: ⚠️ much like the manga/Netflix adaptation this will be a dark fic which includes mentions of prostitution, attempted murder, child ab*se, sexual harassment, heavy grief and attempted suic*de among other things. Additional warnings will be added for chapters when triggers are brought up. Please read with caution if these are triggers for you or just skip all together!

3rd Day Sojourn

“Looks like we got a smartass here don’t we?”

You felt torn on whether to intervene or not. Chishiya, was by no means a hero or a prince charming. You didn’t need to know him to know he was going to be the last person to save you out of good will. Not like you needed saving regardless but you couldn’t help but wonder what his motive was.

Chishiya still had that cold smirk on his face, as if extremely amused at the furious Niragi you had held him up by the jacket, even face to face he not once had a change in expression, as if he just genuinely didn’t care about whatever Niragi felt.

“Probably because I am smarter than you.” Chishiya lifted his chin a little a devious icy smile on his lips like he was getting a rise out of the way Niragi simmered and growled at him, his hands tightening around his jacket and you were briefly worried if Chishiya didn’t shut up that he was going to be beat into a pulp. No matter how smart he was, he couldn’t outwit his way from getting throat punched. Although...you wouldn’t deny a secret part of you would find that mildly funny. You also wanted to throat punch him on certain occasions.

“I believe that’s enough Niragi.” Everyone paused at the sight of someone new arriving, Ryu had gotten out of the pool to stand next to you and Hiroko as he whispered, “That’s number three, Kuzuryuu. He often keeps everyone in their place when Hatter isn’t around.”

Niragi stuck his tongue as he began to cackle, letting go of Chishiya. Breathing in relief you relaxed a little as everyone did the same. Just within a split second though you could hardly comprehend the sight of Niragi immediately decking Chishiya right across the jaw who was knocked off balance. People were already intervening as you stood there gaping. You didn’t think Niragi would actually punch him.

You had thought Chishiya’s expression would’ve changed but much to your disbelief it was as if he was even more settled into his resolve, grabbing his jaw as a viscous smile appeared on his lips, spitting out blood as he goaded, “So you agree then? Anyone with half a brain would be able to reply instead of resort to violence.”

Did this man really wanna die on his first day in the Beach?

Niragi was pulled away and back to his group with steam practically pouring out of his ears, attempting to get back to Chishiya before he was yanked back by perhaps the most physically intimidating man you had ever seen, “That’s number 2, Agni, the leader of the militant sect.” Hiroko clarified to you but it fell on deaf ears as you hurried over to Chishiya, now feeling immensely bad that regardless of his intentions he was hurt for what? Gloating? Was his ego truly that big, “God are you insane!?” You cried out in a whisper kneeling down, your maternal instincts on overdrive as you grabbed his face immediately checking for any bruising.

Chishiya almost like a cat that didn’t want to be touched pulled away from your grip unappreciative, “I don’t like annoying or stupid people.” He replied immediately, his eyes leering ungratefully, “And he was ruining a perfectly good day for me. If you think I’d care for someone like you then you’re more delusional then you look. Besides it’s just blood, it’ll go stop.”

Ouch.

You rolled your eyes at him deciding to not take his words to heart though a tiny part of you wondered if he only said that due to the conversation you both had last night. Or maybe he just really didn’t care. Regardless it didn’t matter, “He had a fucking rifle!” You whispered angrily, “I get it, we aren’t best friends but I don’t wanna see you get shot you asshole.”

“We aren’t friends at all,” Chishiya replied coolly, his eyes analytical and calculating, his gaze like ice that glared you down as if you were his new target for a reason unknown, “We aren’t even acquaintances. We’re just strangers and I’d prefer to keep it that way. I don’t need your concern or care, so stay out of my way.”

You felt thoroughly indignant at his words as you clenched your jaw, “You know what? I doubt you’ve ever had anyone care for you and I can see why. I hope he hits you harder next time you jerk.” This man drove you utterly insane! And you couldn’t even understand why. Chishiya was so cold and for no reason…!

Walking back to your pool chair you snatched your shorts, “Y/n…! Y/n! Are you okay!?” Nanami hurried to your side, you had forgotten all about your sister being in full range of the horror show she had just finished watching between you and Niragi. Probably too scared to try and intervene and you didn’t blame her. Had it been anyone else besides your sister in your shoes you would’ve kept to yourself as well.

“I’m fine, I’d say you should check on Chishiya but apparently he doesn’t need anybody!” You flailed your arms before plopping down on the seat still mad, “What a…! A…! Pathetic, bitter way to live! He’s so conceited!” You curled your fists as you pulled your shorts up before buttoning them as you grabbed your sheer cover up jacket.

Nanami frowned as she grabbed her hands, “Well…” You whipped around in anger, silently staring at her, just daring her to try and come up with some excuse for this guy. Nanami, was a soft hearted person, she never wanted to judge a book by it’s cover and always gave the benefit of the doubt. You admired that about her, but you sometimes wished she was a bit more….realistic with people, “I’m sure he’ll come around.” She decided to not pursue her original words as she offered a weak smile.

“You can deal with that if you want, but I’m done with him. Anytime I try to be relatively nice, I just get spit in the face.” Huffing you crossed your arms, “I’m going on a walk.” And true to your words you did, you needed to be by yourself for a while to clear your head after what had all transpired just minutes ago.

“Originally I helped run a ranch but I wanted to see all the sights so I moved out of my pops and came here to the city!” The music was loud in here and so many people were dancing, makeshift stripper poles had been made and honestly. You understood the Beach was supposed to be an escape, but that didn’t make it a bit of a pathetic sight to see people attempting to swing around and accidentally break it. Multiple times.

You were currently sat at the table with Akari, Hiroko and Ryu everyone having a fairly good time and the longer you talked to Hiroko the less intimidating she became, “I don’t really remember much to be honest,” Akari scratched her head as she hummed, “Just that after I finished putting groceries up I saw fireworks out of my window.”

You straightened up in curiosity, you had seen the same thing! “Yeah we all did,” You slumped at Ryu’s words as he frowned, “Nobody can remember anything after seeing them except waking up here in the Borderlands.”

“What were you guys before this…?” You asked, not wanting to linger for long on just where you were, in a city that was a replica of Tokyo with only a handful of what? A hundred people, maybe a little more? You didn’t have the mindset right now to even try and grasp what was going on or what had happened.

“I was a lawyer,” Hiroko answered first, her expression clearly proud and you’d imagine why, this meant she was older than you! “I did quite a bit of traveling around and dabbled in attorney work for awhile...That’s what my dad wanted me to go in as,” She rolled her eyes, “But I found I’m better at building a case.”

Somehow...you weren’t surprised, you smiled regardless wrapping your arms around yourself, the more you talked to them the more comfortable you began to feel, “One morning I was late to getting to the courthouse and this idiot ended up spilling coffee on me,” Hiroko’s words may have been harsh but she looked Ryu with the softest expression you had ever seen her wear.

Obvious fondness in her eyes, “It was by chance he did that I like to think it was by fate I ended up meeting him again except he was behind the counter at the coffeeshop I always went too.”

Ryu’s cheeks dusted pink as he gave an awkward smile, “I worked evening shifts but got switched over to mornings, best decision I ever made! I’m currently in my last year of college for being an art curator!”

“A cure what now?” Akari cocked her head to the side and for some reason the three of you busted out laughing at her as she parted her lips, “Hey don’t laugh! I’m being serious! Is that some kind of professional coffee maker?”

You closed your eyes giggling as you shook your head, “What about you Y/n? What were you before all of this?” You paused for a second at Hiroko’s question as the table quieted down, suddenly your memory swiped back to the night of the fireworks. What happened at work, how you were supposed to go to class the next day. How your night ended early.

“Ah…” You rubbed the back of your neck as you sheepishly smiled, unsure of where to even begin. It wasn’t that...you were ashamed of your work you just- felt often misunderstood by people. Anytime you said you were a sex worker you either recieved wild looks and suddenly you were treated lowly or people- men in particular would begin to send you uncomfortable innuendo’s.

“Ah…! Y/n!” You straightened up at the muffled screech that sounded like your sister as your eyes shot around the room only to find Nanami fumbling towards you with a whine, suddenly hiding behind you as you frowned standing up, “Good! Good! I’m glad you’re here!” She chuckled nervously as your expression contorted.

“Where is that bitch!?”

Oh...why did this seem vaguely familiar, “What did you do?” You hissed as you turned to Nanami as she rubbed her neck sheepishly only for you to whirl back around again at the sight of a raging woman, the most notable feature her breasts nearly spilling from her loose bikini top as she pointed an accusing finger at your sister, “Why don’t you stop being a slut trying to get with MY boyfriend and take it up with me!”

“Nanami!” You hissed as she cowered behind you, her lips tugging into a pout as she poked both her pointer fingers together with a frown. You had an obligation as a big sister to at least try to defend her before feeding her to the wolves, “Maybe you should give that energy to your boyfriend...Wasn’t he the one supposed to stay loyal?” You raised your brows as you spoke.

You shrieked as you ducked down, a beer bottle flying above you as the girl raged on.

“That’s Kokona, resident miss possessive.” Hiroko leaned back in her seat as she sipped her drink, obviously this wasn’t too odd of a sight as she shrugged, “You might wanna run.”

You brows raised at her words only to see Kokona gathering three other men around as Hiroko snorted, “She’s got a whole pack of guys willing to do her bidding.”

“Y/n…!” Nanami whined, grabbing your arm as you watched the three men approach, you looked between Nanami and them as your lips parted in a half sincere apology.

“...Sorry Nami that's what happens when you try to sleep with someone's boyfriend!” You shoved past her as you heard her yelling at you as she split off on the other side of the room. People did nothing to effort to try and move out of your way as you shoved between them, ducking down as weaved through the crowd in hopes of attempting to lose them, you really didn’t want this to become a reputation for you and your sister.

Diving into a booth seat you felt the stares of two men as you offered an awkward smile, “Don’t mind me, I’m just trying to not get killed…” You offered a quirked smile as you grabbed the long island tea off the table, tipping it towards them as they all bubbled out cheers as you took a long sip, your eyes carefully watching over the crowd as you spot the one guy that must’ve been sent after you.

After all you weren’t the one that Kokona wanted to kill, it was a pretty common occurrence you had experienced except...at least the woman before wasn't psychotic enough to actually try to kill you. You supposed the Borderlands were different. Very different.

“Hey you should totally hang with us! We got your back babe.” You looked up at the dorky grin of the man you had sat next to your lying figure, which you were trying to use the table as coverage, “No extra cost needed beside a good laugh!”

You offered a weak smile, “I’m Y/n!” You introduced, endeared at the oddly innocent smile on his face as you awkwardly shifted, “My sister tried to sleep with someone's boyfriend and I somehow got dragged into it.”

“Kokona’s a mean one,” The guy across the table hiccuped as he lifted his glass, “I’d stay away from her if I were.” You lifted up onto your elbows as you glanced up at him, his eyes heavily dilated before you realized he had obviously been as high as a kite and drinking...No wonder they looked so out of it.

Watching the three men rally back together you quickly pressed back against the seats as you closed your eyes, “Yeah, I can tell...Is she like this with everyone....?” You grabbed the glass once more for another sip, needing something to take the edge off of this whole day. If your sister wasn’t so horny you wouldn’t be in this position right now!

“Nah, mainly girls.” The one beside you waved a hand, “She’s pretty cool otherwise, a little ruthless though. She gloats about her speciality being hearts a lot so she thinks it makes her automatically superior since most of us are spades or clubs players.”

Sitting up a little you tilted your head in confusion, holding the drink you now claimed as yours as you drank it once more, “Specialty? Are venues specified towards…? What? A certain type of suit?”

“No! No! Nothing like that, specialty just means what you naturally have a knack for! All games are still random at each venue,” The guy beside you sloshed his drink, obviously semi drunk himself as he explained, “That's why Hatter sends a team of four or three where each person has a specialty in each suit- except there isn’t a lot of hearts player, because we haven’t really encountered any…”

Jiggling your drink you looked down at the ice that was slowly melting as you hummed, “Okay that makes sense.” You nodded remembering Hatter mentioning this was well, it would only be natural that the longer you survived you’d have a preference for a suit.

“Hey aren’t you new?” The guy across the table pointed a sluggish finger at you, “Shouldn’t you be a little more...freaked out…?”

You offered a weak smile as you glanced away, “Oftentimes in traumatic situations hysteria doesn’t always hit first, it’s likely that my psyche is still in shock and hasn’t fully processed what I’ve seen the past day…” The guy across the table squinted his eyes as he nodded with his lips parted as if in awe at your words, “It’s a mental thing,” You waved at your head, “To try and keep the psychological state of my mind in one piece.”

You wouldn’t deny, there was a certain part of you that felt numb to everything and a smaller part of yourself wondered how you could intake all this information without going hysterical. But...the way you saw it was if this was your reality now, there was nothing you could do to change it. It was better you just got as much information as you could and try your best to adapt if you were going to live on.

Glancing out over the crowd you noticed the men had disappeared once again as you offered both the guys a smile, “Thanks for letting me stay! But I’d better get going.” You gave a small nod, getting up as you held the glass, looking down at it as you frowned...You really hoped this wasn’t laced with anything or else it was going to be a very long night.

Pushing through the crowd you couldn’t find Nanami anywhere but you did spot the girl you had sent three guys after you both like a fucking dog. Squeezing the glass you took a long drink as you approached her, “Kokona,” You called out with a smile as you waved, her eyes sharp as she immediately glared you down, “Listen…” You approached her with an easy smile, “I’m not here to make enemies, my sister is young and she probably didn’t realize it was your boyfriend…But like I said, you don’t really want a guy like that around…”

“Listen here you walmart knock off barbie,” Kokona pointed a sharp nail at you making your lips part a little in surprise at just how aggressive she was, “I don’t give a fuck. I don’t have the time or patience, here of all places. I’m sure you understand right?” She offered a gritty smile, “So tell that bitchy little sister of yours to stay out of my sight if she doesn’t want her hair ripped out.”

Pressing your tongue to your cheek you looked away for a second before down at your drink...Well, she asked for it.

You without a second thought held the drink up before splashing it all over her, “Say what you want about me I don’t give a fuck,” You stepped closer to her as you offered a gritty smile of your own, “But don’t ever say anything about my sister. I’m sure I’ll see you later.” You waved a hand as you turned around, walking back to the table where Akari, Ryu and Hiroko looked like they were all preparing to duck for cover at the show Kokona had put on for them unknowingly.

Setting the glass down at the table you collapsed in your chair as you whined, “Why are women so unfriendly here!?”

Hiroko snorted as she shrugged, obviously not bugged like you were about it, “In this world it’s either kill or be killed, a lot of people don’t have time for niceties anymore. You’ll get used to it. Besides, Kokona is just a bitch to everyone. Don’t take it so personal.” She shrugged, “While you and Nanami were getting chased down we were talking…”

You frowned as you looked up at all three of them as Akari smacked the table, “We should all go out for a game tonight! I know! I know, counterproductive especially with our visa’s stocked for the next few days but I think it’d be fun!”

“Fun!?” The three of them paused as you sat up in your seat, looking at them all like they were insane because they obviously had to be, “Fun!?” You repeated again with even more emphasis, “Guys…! You- you could die!”

“We could die just trying to breath here,” Hiroko scoffed as she shrugged, nonpulsed at your reaction as she picked her nails, ‘Besides you don’t have to go, I get it. We were all like this when we were new too. But I figured we’d make a good team logically. My speciality is diamond, Ryu’s is clubs and we just found out Akari is spades. And we have you, our wild card to figure out what you’re good at. It’s unlikely we’d die. By statistics at least.”

You rubbed your neck, feeling a little more at ease with Hiroko’s rationality as you mumbled, “Well what about Nanami…?” Your eyes washed over the crowd, finally spotting your sister against the wall sipping something trying to act like there weren't three guys after her.

“I doubt you’d want her to go?” Hiroko raised her brows, “Besides she still has three days left on her visa, she’ll be fine. Again, I’m not gonna pressure you into going, if all you’re gonna do is panic you probably will get lynched.”

Her words made you puff your chest a little as you looked back to Nanami before back to the table, well...if they all had a strong suit then why not? “Alright, I’m in!” Who knows when you’d get the opportunity again to get more days on your visa in a considerably safe group.

“I get it you’re like a walking model but seriously?” Hiroko leaned against the bathroom wall as she sighed picking at her nails, “You weren’t even in a full bikini.”

“This has nothing to do with vanity and everything to do with comfort!” You called back, pulling up the loose sweatpants, “I’m not going to possibly go into a game that makes me run while wearing swimwear, I don’t hate myself that much!” You pulled the loose t-shirt over your head before pulling out the maroon jacket as you walked out, stuffing your swim attire in the bag. You had been at the venue for the past five minutes now, having not crossed the threshold but you still have time before it closed.

“How many people have showed up?” You asked as you stood next to Hiroko who dropped her hand as she looked at you rolling her eyes as she sighed, standing up as you both walked to where Akari and Ryu were discussing the possibilities of what the game would be tonight.

“Eh, like four? Maybe? I think that guy you know is in there.” Hiroko shrugged casually, “Looks like a good setup for a spades game, they typically have a bigger group number.”

“What?” Your brows furrowed, what guy? Your mind drew a blank briefly as Ryu stretched out with a nod.

“Well if we’re all ready to go then let's head inside it’s almost six.” Ryu nodded once more as everyone followed behind him, you tossed your bag against the wall, it’s not like you had to be worried about anyone stealing in this climate. Your heartbeat picked up as you crossed the threshold.

Noticing indeed four other people here before your lips parted and your face screwed into irritation, “Really!?” You muttered under your breath, immediately turning away from the familiar white hood as you stubbornly crossed your arms, “Hiroko why didn’t you say it was him!?” You hissed a whisper to her.

Hiroko looked between you and Chishiya who was on his phone, earbuds in and ignoring the outside world before she tried to hold a laugh, “Did you two fuck or something?” You immediately flailed at her words making both her and Akari start laughing at both your misery and anger as you glared at her in unappreciation.

“You think i’d fuck someone like him!?” You hissed out, “No, he's a total jerk! I…! Why can’t I go anywhere without him showing up!” You groaned as you crossed your arms, “Whatever, maybe he’ll get his guts ripped out tonight.”

“Ouch, that’s a little harsh.” Ryu frowned, innocent as ever as he held his hands together, before offering a cute smile, “I’m sure he’ll come around, we’re all a part of the beach after all.” You sourly crossed your arms as you looked at the clock, striking six just in time for you to get tonight started with whatever death trap awaited.”

Somehow, you doubt Chishiya held any loyalty to any of you at all just because you all slept in the same hotel…

The TV on the wall lit up as everyone's attention turned to it, obviously nobody was new here tonight as no one spoke to each other.

Game

Difficulty: 3♡

“A heart's game?” Ryu mumbled, his brows furrowed as he looked between you all as you gave a little shrug, your face twisted in concern as you wrapped your arms around yourself, “Well at least it’s a low difficulty! I’m sure it won’t be too hard to solve!”

“The game you will be participating in is Blind Man's Bluff. Everyone will be required to wear a blindfold for one minute where the tagger will pass their tag off,” The screen depicted a faceless man passing quite literally a name tag off to one sitting down “Tags pertain to who is a player and who is the tagger. You will have twenty minutes to complete the game. It’s a Game ‘Clear’ if the tagger is discovered before the end of the last round, it’s a Game Over for the players if the tagger remains undiscovered.”

Rules:

After each tagging sequence players will remain seated to take off their blindfold and find out if they have been selected as the tagger.

Blindfolds must be worn and kept on for the whole minute during the tagging sequence or it’s a Game Over.

Violence against other players is strictly prohibited and will result in a Game Over.

Players must remain seated for the whole time period of the tagging sequence or it’s a Game Over.

Game Clear conditions: If the players find out who the tagger is before the time runs out or it’s a Game Over for all players.

Tension had risen in the air a little as you felt your throat become dry, everyone immediately looked at each other somewhat suspiciously as the doors opened to the school gym, it was dark and empty outside of eleven chairs lined in a circle, all backs facing each other.

“It could be worse.” Hiroko whispered to you as everyone grabbed a blindfold off the table that stood off in the distance, “As long as we just keep passing the tagger off to someone else we should be fine.”

“Unless one of us gets picked by the end?” You quirked a brow as you rubbed the back of your neck, chances of that happening was one in ten but still, “I don’t like those odds Hiroko.”

Hiroko only snorted as you both walked up, grabbing a blindfold as your eyes darted to the tags that laid out. Your brows furrowed at the stuffed bear with a blindfold on, his name tag ‘Rikku’ that took up his whole stomach, grabbing a tag as you turned back to face Hiroko.

“All we have to do is get a confession out of the tagger, it can’t be that hard.” Hiroko shrugged as she grabbed her blindfold as you puffed a breath of air, you hadn’t known her for long and despite knowing she was a lawyer before all of this...it was just still hard to imagine unless she was pressuring. Not exactly your method of going about stuff like this.

Walking to a chair towards the left side of the room you sat down, crossing your legs as you looked up at the two clocks, one at twenty minutes that began ticking away and another holding at one minute.

Looking towards your left your gaze immediately snapped back forward as your lips curled a little at the insufferable sight of blonde hair who made no effort to try and speak to you.

Was he just sitting here purposely to annoy you? Because if you got tagger you would most definitely put it on him next.

“The one minute for the tagging sequence getting ready to begin, blindfolds on.”

Putting on your blindfold you tied it in a loose knot as you relaxed back into your chair, not being the tagger was perhaps the boring part of this game, the whole minute passed by and you briefly felt something press against your blindfold before it left.

“Blinds off. Ten second cool down starts now.” Taking off your blindfold you flipped it over only to find the tag player stuck on it, attached magnetically as you pulled it off, proceeding to wait the ten seconds before the scoreboard went off and everyone stood up.

“Maybe we should start easy and just show who has a name tag?” Ryu coughed a little as he scuffed his shoe against the ground, rubbing his neck as he frowned, everyone, as if it was possible, became all the more tense.

You looked around at all the blindfolds that were being held, “I don’t think that will work, we've most likely all been provided a nametag, the only odd man out is the one with tagger. But they’ve most likely hidden it. All we can do is just take a guess of who it could be.”

Nobody spoke for a moment making Hiroko heave a sigh as she cracked her neck, “Alright I’ll do it, I’m used to this in court. What about you!” She suddenly pointed to a shorter girl who had been fiddling with her skirt, suddenly jumping at the accusation.

“What!? I’m- I’m not the tagger!” She squeaked out, nervousness suddenly on her expression and many of the wolves of the group were definitely preying on her right now as Hiroko puffed a breath crossing her arms.

“Then why do you look so nervous?” She raised an accusing brow, making you shift in your spot, crossing your arms, you couldn’t agree with Hiroko’s approach to this that was just stoking fire to an already stressful atmosphere where everyone was quickly beginning to pin the blame on each other.

You could only stand there and watch as everyone began to argue as you pinched the bridge of your nose, “We’re never gonna get anything solved if we go about it like this.” You muttered to yourself as you sighed.

“If you’re that confident in doing better then you should assert yourself more.”

You turned to Chishiya who was also standing not quite close enough for you to say he was next to you, but close enough. Your eyes squinted into a glare as you spoke, “Right and how do I know you’re not the tagger?”

“Because I would’ve tagged you next if I was.” Chishiya shrugged casually making you clench your fists as you let out a noise of irritation, you hated that…! Annoying smirk of his! Despite not knowing him for long you could get the idea he obviously got off on annoying you and it only fueled your irritation that much more.

“The feelings are mutual, stranger.” You hissed as you crossed your arms, “And I’ll have you know I am not going to insert myself into...that!” You waved your hand at the sight of two of the men now shouting at each other, the taller one immediately grabbing the other by the shirt, “Because at that point you’ll just be accused with any sort of logic.”

You puffed a breath as you wrapped your jacket around yourself, “And besides, this chaos is a great scapegoat for the real tagger to just sit back and watch everyone pick each other off-” You paused as you turned to Chishiya as you silently berated yourself, why were you even rambling to this guy!? He was a total jerk and you were not about to let go of this morning where you were only trying to help, “Why are you even talking to me? Didn’t you want us to...what? Stay strangers?”

“I’m...not talking to you?” He raised his brows, his lips quirking into an infuriating half smile as if he had a point making your lips pucker together and your jaw clench in effort to try and keep your obvious anger to a minimum, “It’s not my fault you won’t shut up.” He had the audacity to shrug.

You couldn’t help but stomp your foot as you glared at him, “You know what!? I get the feeling if you didn’t care you would’ve gone and sulked in the corner the whole game. In fact, I bet you like listening to me ramble. After all the whole day and a half I’ve known you that's all you do other than instigate unnecessary fights!”

Chishiya’s gaze narrowed a little and you watched his body coil a little away from you at your words, “In what world would you think I care to listen to you?” His lips twitched into cruel smirk as he spoke, “Besides your irrational anger and blabbering, you don’t have an ounce of sense or logic in your body. You're probably best suited for hearts because all you do is spill emotion.”

“That is not what hearts are about!” You retaliated as you threw your hands even more frustrated, “Why are you so defensive the moment I say anything in relation to you possibly not being some emotionless humanoid!? I get it,” You flailed your arms as you spoke louder, “I was a total dick for comparing you to a sociopath! Okay? I can admit that, and usually I can understand where people are coming from but- but you!? I genuinely don’t get you! At all! One moment you wanna pretend like everything's cool between us and then the next you wanna act like a total asshole! And that’s not cool!”

Chishiya had looked away from you heaving a loud sigh making you stomp your foot again, here you were exerting all of your emotion into him and he really…!

Your fists curling only to realize just how silent it was...you turned to look at the crowd of people who all had stopped fighting and...Oh...you felt your face become hot as you wrapped your arms around yourself in embarrassment...Were you really that loud…

“If you and your boyfriend are done arguing we have more important things to solve!” A man pointed a finger at you with a hiss making you curl away, your ears burning at his words as you snapped back, “He is not my boyfriend! Besides you aren’t getting anything done just yelling at each other,” You turned away from Chishiya now unable to even look him in the eyes at the moment, “The real question is who has been silent up until now? The tagger would obviously sit back and watch because why would they insert themselves when you’re doing a great job at killing time.”

“The one minute for the tagging sequence getting ready to begin, blindfolds on.”

Clenching your jaw you sat in your chair as everyone proceeded to do the same, it was now silent as you put on your blindfold, now angry and not even at the game. You wasted your whole time, not even arguing with Chishiya which somehow made you feel even more angry.

It was like talking to a wall.

Crossing your legs you curled up against yourself, mad just...Why were you even mad? You shouldn’t be letting someone like this get under your skin. You briefly wondered why it bothered you so much. Come to think of it, you supposed it was for the exact reason you said.

Chishiya, puzzled you to no end and you had never experienced that with someone, ever. You couldn’t figure out what he was thinking nor find an understanding as to why he was so back and forth with you. Maybe it was your misinterpretation? But...You shook your head a little despite your gaze darkened from the blindfold, it wasn’t that.

It was obvious, for whatever reason, he was holding himself back, From what? You didn’t know, but for now…

“Blinds off. Ten second cool down starts now.”

Pulling off your blindfold you looked at it, the same tag remaining of Player on it. You needed to focus on finding out who the tagger was, really this was like a game of hot potato, chances of the tagger getting killed was just as high as all the players dying, and who would want to take that chance?

Maybe some, you stood up after the scoreboard went off and the original clock resumed as you turned around facing everyone to judge their reactions, Hiroko and Ryu were the same and so was Akari to your knowledge. Your eyes briefly flickered to Chishiya who had remained seated, his hands in his pockets, he also...You doubted yourself briefly, you couldn’t rule him out.

“Who here wasn’t talking last round?” You asked, looking around at everyone, who obviously everyone immediately began speaking much to your frustration, you couldn’t expect someone to answer honestly which only meant...Puffing a breath, “Alright, how about this, let’s all trace a conversation with one person we talked too last round.”

...You’d just have to manipulate the tagger into confessing

First you’d need to trace who was absolutely not the tagger and narrow it from there, “I’ll go first as an example since everyone seemed to hear last round,” You looked away briefly, a somewhat awkward smile on your lips, “I was talking to Chishiya about why he’s such an asshole. You don’t need his confirmation given everyone saw it, but typically you’d need someone to vouch for you in order to confirm you were talking. Now to those that didn’t talk, it doesn’t make them guilty, just more suspect.”

“Me and Ryu were talking to each other about who the possible tagger was.” Hiroko spoke up, pulling a hand around Ryu’s waist who looked a little flush as he nodded, semi shy as you nodded yourself. That answer wasn’t too surprising.

“Well I was talkin’ to this fine gentleman here about how I wasn’t the tagger.” Akari waved a hand to the guy beside her, who still leered but nodded in confirmation which cleared the both of them. You had hoped...this would keep civil, but as everyone went around, there was bound to be some who just genuinely didn’t remember because they were arguing with everyone, and those who were lying…

Which meant by this deduction things were narrowed down, for most people the chance of being found out you were the tagger is too stressful to be worth possibly being the only one to live in the end, thus handing it off, which meant there was...what? One in third chance each round the tagger was someone new? There were a few people you had to suspect that could have held the tagger without giving it up.

The guy towards the middle who was very strangely calm during all of this with very empty looking eyes, and then there was the other man more towards you left who had been calmly de-escalating the situation but you didn’t miss the undertones of manipulation. It was one in third chance they could be holding it. Which meant you’d need to make sure they weren’t.

Walking over you stood more near Hiroko and Ryu as you watched two guys begin arguing again, “Every time I think we’ve made progress, it always ends up getting disturbed.”

“Well that is the way of the world.” You kept a straight expression at the man who offered a smile that looked so unnatural to his empty eyes, you couldn’t help but feel a bit creeped out at how...insanely calm he was. You could get a sense of tension from at least Chishiya, granted it was most likely from you.

“I’m Y/n,” You introduced, “Sense we should all be working together I figured it’d be best we at least learn each other's names.” You offered a sweet smile as you wrapped your jacket around yourself in effort to try and look unsuspecting.

“I see how much anger you have inside you know? It’s quite obvious, from the way you lash out at others when you don’t get the response you want to the way you feel entitled to everyone's feelings, that’s not good for your health you know?” Your lips parted a little at his words, not even offended because...while he was right in some ways...he was very wrong in others, “But I understand your nature is tedious and complex, for all we not the same way?” Okay...this guy was definitely a psychopath, “I’m Sunato Banda, pleased to meet you.” He offered another smile.

Empty eyes, disturbingly calm demeanor, even with your lives on the line he wasn’t disturbed at all, it wasn’t that he didn’t care. He just wasn’t affected, at all, like this could be a walk in the park for him.

Psychopath, definitely.

You’d need to be careful if tagger got in his possession otherwise he’d lie straight through his teeth and he’d never blink twice about it and you and everyone else would be unsuspecting about it.

“Well, us humans are very complex,” You nodded offering yet another smile making effort to look almost starstruck at his very poor deduction skills, again, somewhat correct, otherwise wrong. Afterall, how could someone who feels no remorse, truly understand the complexity of human nature? “Do you by any chance know who the tagger would be?”

You’d need to make yourself look weak, pliable, if you were to get any use out of this guy, all he knew was how to do was take advantage of people, obviously, Banda offered a sly smile as he looked out over the room, his eyes washing over everyone, “Him,” He pointed a finger, “He keeps adjusting his coat as if he has something placed in there that’s uncomfortable.”

You followed his line of sight to what looked like a business man in a suit and bowler hat, he did in fact, look quite nervous, “And why not call him out?” You asked, tilting your head exaggerated as you brimmed with curiosity.

Banda turned to face you, a bright smile on his face as he closed his eyes, “Well I personally hope he’ll tag me next, I quite enjoy seeing a large build up in bodies.”

..Oh...oh wow…

You gave a small nod, forcing a smile as you held yourself before excusing yourself from him, well, at least it definitely wasn’t him for now. Otherwise you’d be in trouble right now. And now you had a prime suspect. Some could overthink that and argue that perhaps he was lying just to get you off his trail. But personally? There was no way it’d be him, he wouldn’t do something like that. You got the feeling Banda, was a simple man.

You turned to find the two guys from before who were tussling suddenly growl, one throwing a punch and before he could even fully hit the guy a deep red laser broke through the ceiling, you were frozen for a half a second at the sight of it shooting through the top of his head. Everyone was quiet as they looked down at the sight of a now dead body.

Right...that was a rule, violence was prohibited.

“The one minute for the tagging sequence getting ready to begin, blindfolds on.”

You scurried back to your seat, sitting down as you pulled up your blindfold, “It’s that guy wearing the dumb bowler hat.” Your head looked towards you left despite not being able to see, Chishiya’s voice was quiet as he spoke, “While you were busy wasting time, I watched the real tagger- that school girl place it in his back pocket.”

“The tagger can do that during the round?” You whispered back perplexed at the idea, how could you have missed that? Unless...she placed it right as you approached Banda? Thus him seeing the man realize he had been tagged and now nervously adjusting himself?

“There aren't any rules stating otherwise, makes it fair game.” Chishiya replied, he immediately quieted at the sound of footsteps tapping on the floor, they were definitely on your side of the ring. Your breath hitched a little at feeling something press against your forehead. Oh shit before the sound of footsteps walked away.

“We just need to watch for him next round.” Chishiya spoke once more as you leaned back in your seat, trying to find a reason for why you just felt what you did.

“Blinds off. Ten second cool down starts now. Final round will be next round”

You hurriedly took yours off as you flipped it over looking down at it,

Tagger

Motherfucker.

You quickly grabbed it off, at first trying to push it into your pocket only to realize they were fake. God you hated women’s clothing, your eyes shot to the clock that only had five seconds left, with nowhere to put it you shoved it down your bra as you collected yourself. Okay you...you could make this work.

But now you were presented with a plethora of options. You honestly didn’t think it would be passed off to you. But now...you...you could keep it...You stood up as the scoreboard went off, but...Everyone else would die. Or...you could confess and you’d die. These options were not great. Next round was the last round, so if you gave it up...you’d be reassuring someone’s victory.

You stood next to Chishiya as his eyes kept with the man from before with the bowler hat, “He might have gotten it passed back to him.” His eyes narrowed a little onto the guy.

Do you find a way to discreetly tell him? Or would that also count as a confession…? It wouldn’t be a confession if you made yourself suspect. But...you couldn’t honestly trust Chishiya, not after his unstable display of distrust in you.

“He could be,” You replied, leaning in a little as you watched him, he appeared relieved once more, he was the one freaked out about this after all...you felt a brief wave of guilt inside you at what your mind had suddenly come up with.

With Chishiya’s suspect still on the man, all you needed to do was plant it back on him and pressure a confession out of him next round.

You were very much going to hell after this.

“He was the one that started accusing last round too and made someone die,” You hummed as you stuffed your hands in your pocket, “That guy also thought it was him. He’s definitely good at reading people,” You thought back to the way he tried to read you, which was somewhat accurate, but people like you and him, you couldn’t always accurately read each other. Except you weren’t insane like him, “At this point we don’t have much to lose.”

You could see the cogs turning in Chishiya’s head as he stared menacingly at the man who looked at him and jolted a little at such an intense stare, “If I were the tagger by this point,” You were treading on very thin ice at the moment, “I’d keep it just for myself, instead passing it off. He’s gone this far without anyone really pressuring him. It’d be the smartest move by now.”

“Then we’ll settle on him.” Chishiya replied, his gaze cold as he glared down at the man who mindlessly fixed his tie, trying to look cool despite being intimidated, clearly. He had a weak mentality, if you couldn’t break him next round, Chishiya most definitely would.

“The one minute for the tagging sequence getting ready to begin, blindfolds on.”

You supposed he was good for something even when you couldn’t trust him.

Sitting down in your chair you put your blindfold on and waited a second before taking it back off, standing back up as you carefully stepped as quietly as you could, pulling the Tagger out of your bra before you walked over to the man who had just tagged you before pressing it against his blindfold, you watched his lips quiver as he let out a quiet, “Please…!”

Your expression went cold as you turned around, glancing at the clock before you walked away and sat back down in your chair, putting your blindfold back on as you waited for the announcer once more.

“Blinds off. Ten second cool down starts now. Final round.”

You took the blindfold off, looking down feeling content at the Player tag as you stood up along with Chishiya who’s eyes went between you and the man before he pushed his hands back into his pockets, “If you’re all done pointing fingers and wasting time,” His gaze became a little more cool as he spoke, “Then we should go ahead and show who the real tagger is.”

Both you and Chishiya glanced at the man who was now looking insanely nervous, sweat dripping down his neck and if this wasn’t life or death, you would’ve felt a little bad...Some parts of you still did, but it was either all of you or just him.

“He does look pretty nervous.” Hiroko narrowed her eyes on him and from this moment forward you knew it was game over for him, quite literally. With all three of you there was no way he’d survive, crossing your arms you lifted your chin a little, “Say, weren’t you the one who got really defensive when the finger got pointed at you last round?”

“I’m…!” He flailed a little, wiping his brow with his hand as he suddenly pointed an accusing finger at you, “It’s her you want! She’s a manipulative bitch!” You pressed your hand against your chest in fake hurt as you raised your brows, “She’s the one pitting everyone against me when she’s really the tagger. She’s going to leave you all to die.”

The majority of eyes fled to you as you shrugged, “Why would I do that when I could just give it to you?” You gave a wickedly sweet smile as you giggled a little, “And watch it all go down. I mean, you must be agreeing now?” You raised your brows as you goaded, “About being the tagger?”

“I…!” He struggled with his words, now glaring at you as you raised your brows once more as you shook your head, “I…! Now you’re just doing this on purpose! Trying to get into everyone's head and make everyone die! Can’t- can’t you see what she’s doing!” He cried out as he backed away from everyone.

“I dunno’ you seem pretty guilty to me.” Akari shrugged as she poked her tongue into her cheek, not looking the least bit remorseful for the guy as she leaned her weight onto one side.

“I get it,” You shrugged as you laughed a little, “You’re probably that kinda guy who’s never really stood up for himself, you probably got bullied as a kid and let yourself get run over by people all the time, even now, and now in desperation you attempt to hold your own and yet...” You tilted your head with a frown as you mocked, “You still can’t do anything right. I guess that goes to show, that people like you just never have a spine. If you can’t assert yourself now with your life on the line, you might as well die now. Because let’s face it, people like you only end in two ways, either spineless pathetic existence or you become the abuser out of a sick need to regain what you lost as a kid.”

Reverse psychology, worked in the most simplistic ways.

That seemed to get him to snap, you watched his eyes dilate and pure unfurled rage cross his expression as he shrieked, “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! You know nothing about my life! You know nothing about me! And because I’m the tagger I’ll get to watch all you pathetic people die! Who’s in control now!?”

It’s a shame he couldn’t take control of his life in any other circumstance.

Everyone paused and even he himself paused at the realization, his eyes welled with tears that made something deep in your heart lurch, your eyes squinting a little as your expression wilted a little as the red laser broke through the roof shooting him straight through the top of his head. His body crumpling to the ground.

‘Game Cleared’

Everyone was still for a moment before you looked down at the blindfold and then to your hands, the memory hazy yet the memory of red staining them still so clear as you felt ringing in your ears and your vision blur for a moment as you let the fabric slip through your fingers. Running a hand through your hair you wrapped your arms around your jacket as you walked past the body, briefly looking at the once timid man who obviously let others run his life.

“Sorry.” You whispered quietly as you stepped over the corpse, “Come on, let’s go. I don’t wanna stay around here.” You looked towards the other three who nodded, also looking semi apprehensive as well.

Now that the moment was over, the cruel reality was back to remind you that you just gaslit someone into admitting their own suicide. It was hard to not feel innately disgusted with yourself despite your reasoning that you and all of your friends would’ve died if you had. Still, what you did was okay. You were supposed to help people like him, not encourage them to snap.

If you didn’t feel conflicted before you certainly felt conflicted now, looking at the register you ignored the visa print as you grabbed the playing card off the table.

And as if mocking, this was only a three of hearts. You couldn’t imagine what higher level games looked like with this. You’d definitely need to be careful in the future, “Y/n! Come on, let’s go!” You looked behind at Hiroko nodding towards the exit.

“You guys go on, I’ll catch up later.” You looked down at the card again, Hiroko frowned at your figure, wanting to say something but she understood, the first few days of the Borderlands were never easy. With that, she left. Besides you needed to get changed before you headed for the beach again.

Walking out of the exit you grabbed your bag that was, just as you anticipated, still against the wall, leaning down you opened it up as you began digging through to try and find your bathing suit top. Stuffing the card inside you furrowed your brows, why did the electricity have to go out so soon?

“You could’ve kept the tagger and won but you didn’t. Why?”

You paused your search at the sound of Chishiya’s voice, sounding like he was- not interrogating you but definitely investigating. You resumed once more as you shrugged, “I could’ve.” You agreed, and it did cross your mind after all, “I thought about it,” You admitted right after as you pulled out the swimsuit top, “But maybe to some degree you were right,” You stood up as you turned to face him, “I am spilling emotion constantly. And if there was a chance I could’ve saved all of us in turn for one? It didn’t seem like that big of a reach to do really…” You looked away from him as you grabbed your neck, feeling a bit sheepish, “It was by chance you had spotted him before and it was by luck that I was given tagger for the last round. I knew all you needed was just mutual confirmation in your assessment before initiating the end.”

You sighed as you looked down at the elastic material in your hand as you frowned, “For what it’s worth, I would’ve probably done it to him regardless of whether he had been the tagger or not. It doesn’t take much to break the weakest link. That’s probably the saddest part to be honest.”

You grabbed your backpack off the ground as you looked up at Chishiya before back towards the entrance where others slowly began to filter out, “I doubt he even realized the trap I set him up for,” You smiled wryly as you shook your head, “People are so easy to mislead, I forget sometimes, the power that can hold.”

You turned around, intending to go change, “What were you before all of this?” You looked back at Chishiya, his gaze cool as ever and his eyes scanning over you as if in search for an answer that didn’t exist. Briefly your heart jumped in nervousness, did you dare tell the truth?

Laughing you let out a sigh what was the use in hiding in this world? There were no laws and honestly, who could judge you? “I was a prostitute.” You looked away, feeling somewhat bashful as you awkwardly rubbed your neck, you could tell that was not what Chishiya had been expecting you to say.

“Oh…!” Your lips parted suddenly feeling even more stupid at the realization that was not what he meant by his question, “You...You probably meant what I’m majoring in...sorry. Uh-” You gave him an apologetic smile that was more out of your sake of humiliation as assuming. Clearing your throat you turned back over your shoulder as you gave him one last look, holding up the three of hearts as you answered, “I’m a major in psychology ♡ ”

#alice in borderland #aib imagine #chishiya x reader #chishiya x reader smut #chishiya shuntaro #aib x reader

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