#still feeling iffy about the whole thing but we will see what my professor has to say

[meatppie666]

WORK IN PROGRESS...of something...for class...haha....

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Some replies! About our Crewel/Deuce art from yesterday + other TWST-related things (and one about OHSHC).

Anonymous asked:

nothing really special to say, but i wanted to let you know that your art has been helping me to draw more!! (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ i have a big issue of hating my art, but seeing your passion for your work motivates me to work through it so i can get good at it instead of giving up, so thank you a lot i love what you do!!!!

Anon, this is so sweet ;w; I am so happy to hear that my work motivates you, it truly means a lot! I hope you’ll keep drawing and will enjoy the process of creating art more and more with every new sketch. Passion is one of the most important things when it comes to any kind of art.

Thank you! This is honestly one of the best things to hear.

icedefloweringtornado asked:

I have your blog set to notifications so all I see a lot of the time is the limited description. Today's 'good boy' had me just all oh is it going to be Idia? One of my hearts boys? Deuce. The goodest not goodest boy.

First of all, ahhh thank you so much for having notifications on, this is so nice of you!

Second of all, yeah, there are a lot of pretty good boys in twst lol some of them are only good when they are being bullied (Idia)… and some of them are the goodest not goodest like Deucey <3

Anonymous asked:

Your latest post?? Deuce/Crewel art has actually made my brain explode. I feel like a fool for not even thinking of them as a ship. You (plural) truly do just have the best takes in this fandom.

Deuce, the bad-boy-trying-to-be-good has always struck me as someone very, very eager to please. Then you have Crewel, the strict professor who puts students' in their place with a little *too* much abuse of power. The unequal power dynamics of professor and student? Delicious.

Lowkey, I imagine Deuce would be so used to obeying "commands" at some point another student would just say a command jokingly and Deuce automatically follows the command without second thought before realizing what the hell he is doing.

Thank you so much, Anon!! Whenever I draw these two, we think about how the hell did it take us this long to consider this ship. They are so horrible (=amazing) together… It feels so obvious, and yet…

Deuce is super eager to please and naive enough to be lured into something very dangerous. It’s so fun that he is genuinely trying, but somehow he still ends up in iffy situations. But it’s one thing when it’s Ace’s antics that put him in trouble, but Divus abusing his power is a whole other can of worms. There is no authority figure to help Deuce out this time. It’s super imbalanced, and Deuce is way too easy to take advantage of. Perfection :”)

Ohh, but well-trained puppy Deuce reacting to a command said by some other student…. A pavlovian response 😭 Let’s hope this is just “sit” or “paw” or something and not something spicier…

Anonymous asked:

AAAA THE CREWDEUCE 😍😍💞💞💞 THANK YOU RYUU FOR THE FOOD!!!!!! We need more Sensei ships up in here TBH

You’re very welcome and thank youuu!! Totally agree!

irregardlessly-tish asked:

I began the Glorious Mascarade event and every new facet of Rook's personality and identity is just... What even is this guy? He was just speaking some French words as he always does and someone else said "oh yeah, you're from this area right?" and he's like "No, I'm from the Savanna :)". So, you're telling me he's a fake? A poser? Some kind of weeb but for twisted France instead of Japan??? All this time he's been just the equivalent of someone being "omg >w< that's so kawaii desu ne~ owo!!". I always knew he was a freak and a weirdo (lovingly), I just didn't consider the extent of it... He's a normal weeb, all the signs were there with his idol obsessions... I was just too blind to see...

Ohh, I hope you’re enjoying it, Tish! It’s one of the best events, in my opinion.

“What even is this guy” IS SUCH A GOOD WAY TO DESCRIBE ROOK LOL The more you learn about him, the more questions you get: the fuck do you mean “I’m from Savanna”??? Your family does what for a living??? You can do what with your body??? It’s always like that with him. Even though he is very honest, he is also so fucking fake in a lot of ways. He really is just a Twisted France weeb …

I really wonder what made him love French so much. But then again, I feel like if we learn the reason behind it, it’ll leave us with 5 more questions about this weirdo lol

Anonymous asked:

i know you said the shadows in the deuce and epel skirt art belong to mobs but hear me out…it the other freshmen…freshmen gangbang

(this is about this drawing)

Very valid thought, Anon, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised with how horny some of the other freshmen students are… I feel like if you leave the freshmen all alone unattended, at some point this is the scenario that they are going to end up in.

Anonymous asked:

Random, but imagine a Scott pilgrim AU, but with Twist:

Oh, you want to date, Idia? Then you'll have to beat his 7 evil exes: Azul, the Tweels, Lilia, Sebek, Ortho, Eliza.

((Not sure if you heard/read Ghost's marriage event, but this is where Eliza appeared. Basically, she had an obsession with Idia, lmao))

Anon! This is a very good idea, and funny thing is, we had a sketch about Idia and his 7 evil exes lol I can’t post it here because it’s ko-fi exclusive (if you have access to our ko-fi, here is the post link; sorry, the access to one specific post can’t be purchased separately), but yeah this is basically this line-up minus Eliza, plus Trey. Ace plays Scott’s role… poor Idia, it’s probably so weird for him to be the manic pixie dream boy with 7 exes, he has no fucking clue how he ended up like this.

(Haven’t watched Ghost marriage yet, but I’m excited about it; we’re saving it for later just because it’s guaranteed to be a great even for us lol)

Anonymous asked:

smth I'm just curious Abt, have you seen/heard of ohshc??

Yes, of course! OHSHC was one of the titles we watched back in middle school even before we met each other, so it’s been a while… and it’s been a while since our last rewatch of it…

But still, it’s an amazing comedy that we quote a lot to this day. Theatre of (Tamaki’s) Mind, Homosexual supporting cast, I’m making a hamster home; all of it is so stupid and lovely lol

We tried to find the latest sketch of Tamaki and Kyoya from several years ago, but holy shit we don’t remember the year we drew it lol so I guess no sketches! Well, a reason to draw it all over now that my art looks better anyway.

[evansbby]

Does anyone have any cool sexy dilf stories? Like stories that you wouldn’t mind sharing of y’all with dilfs?? Idk I feel like I need to live vicariously through you guys jajsjsjs —

Okay so I know you posted this last week but I have to tell someone 💀

So since the beginning of uni I’ve had a crush on my chemistry professor, and let me tell you that the first day I had his class all I did was fantasize about him😭😭

This man is 6’4 (I’m 5’3🤭) so the height difference is so hot. He’s 35 (I just turned 20), he’s half Mexican half Colombian (he curses in Spanish when he drops something or is just mad and it’s the hottest thing ever). He has brown eyes and his hair is like Ari’s hair (all i can think about is how hot it would be to rake my nails through his hair while he’s eating me out). Also he’s so fucking buff holy shit, like his biceps are the size of my head and every time he wears a tight shirt/blouse it literally makes me want to do unspeakable things. For reference he kinda looks like Miguel O’hara (idk if you watched Spiderman into the Spiderverse but that man is hot as hell), but he has fuller lips. He also has a beard which also kind of the same to Ari’s beard.

So here’s where the actual story begins😭😭. He has a daughter who’s 8 years old - btw he’s not married and her mom isn’t in her life, I don’t know why - so my cousin who’s also 8 years old happens to be in the same class as her and they’re literally best friends. I didn’t know at first that her dad was my professor (and the guy I dream about) until my aunt asked me to pick my cousin up from school and I see him talking to his daughter and my cousin. When I tell you I almost melted because he was so sweet with them😭😭😭 When they saw me walking towards them he was also surprised to see me, but then he smiled and made small talk 😫

Next day when I see him in class, he asks me to stay behind and when I tell you I almost fainted. I’ll type out the interaction because it’ll be too confusing.

Professor: “Hey, so I didn’t know you were related to (cousins name)”

Me: “Yeah, her moms my moms sister so different last names haha”

Professor: “So, I wanted to ask if it’s okay for her to come over next week? I tried to catch your aunt and ask but she’s always there earlier than me, (daughters name) and (cousins name) wanted to watch a movie and just play.”

Me: “Oh yeah, I’ll ask my aunt. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind (cousins name) talks about her a lot.”

Professor: “Yeah those two are really close.”

Me: “But sure I’ll ask my aunt and get back to you tomorrow.”

Professor: “Thank you it’ll mean a lot to them.”

So after this we just quickly said goodbye and when I walked out the classroom I almost threw up he made me that nervous😭😭 It’s the way he was standing as well, he was standing and kind of half sitting half leaning on his desk and his blouse that day was a white so I kinda saw abs (slut) 😫😫😫 honestly feels like something out of a movie😭

Anyway so I came home and I was going to my aunts house anyway for dinner with the whole family (I’m Moroccan so these kind of big dinners are almost every week💀). So when I’m there I ask her and she first was kind of iffy about it because she doesn’t want to send her 8 year old to a random mans house (her words, not mine😂) even though she knows his daughter. And then my other cousin who’s my age and knows about my crush on him, jokingly said “maybe she should go with her, he’s her professor so she already knows him”. I swear to god I wanted to strangle her right there and then because my aunt thought it was the best idea ever and now she wants me to go with her.

I feel like this is getting really long so I’ll try summarize what happened afterwards😭. So the next day I don’t have chemistry so after I was done with all my classes I walk over to his classroom. This man was just sitting there drinking coffee and working and I thought (still think) it was the hottest thing ever. When he sees me walk in he smiles at me and greets me. I greet him as well and tell him what my aunt said.

Me: “Maybe a bit weird but my aunt wanted me to come with (cousins name) to keep an eye on her you know? If that’s okay with you of course.”

Professor: “Yeah no that’s fine don’t worry about it, besides it’ll be nice to have someone there to keep me company.”

WHEN HE SAID THIS I SWEAR TO GOD HE SMIRKED/SMILED AT ME I CANNOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP😭😭😭.

Anyway I gave him my aunts number so they can arrange it and then we said goodbye and stuff and I left. My hands were shaking when I was walking out of the classroom, he makes me that nervous😭 My aunt called me Sunday morning telling me that the playdate is next week. Either he or my uncle is gonna bring us.

I normally have his class on Monday but he wasn’t there, I think he had an appointment or something😔 But I do have his class today so lets pray he’s there🤞🏼🤞🏼

I’m sorry if this was really long but I honestly feel like this is too good to be true, and when I saw your post about any dilf stories I immediately thought about him. I also wanted to tell someone who won’t judge me and I honestly love your vibe so I hope you won’t think I’m weird or something 😭. I also need advice because what the hell do i do?!?! I have such a big crush on him, besides the looks he’s so sweet but also so serious and bossy (idk what to call it but it’s hot😫😫).

I’ll keep you updated if you want if anything else happens🥴🥴🥴

- 💐💐

Oh my god bestie I am so intrigued but at the same time you are twenty years old and that is a BABY to me practically so idk idk idk what to say!!!! Pls just be sensible about this… men love to take advantage of younger girls and I know you don’t want to hear this 😭😭😭 but I feel like I have to say it otherwise I’d be being fake 🥲🥲

Of course, you’re entitled to do whatever you please! And honestly HONESTLY this professor seems into you but the fact that he’s a professor and you’re his student is a red flag??? Right??? Like… you’re his student 😭😭😭 on top of that he is a lot older than you so please be careful!!!

Apart from that why does this sound like such a picture perfect fanfic scenario?? Like lmfao wow I didn’t realise y’all were out here literally being real life Y/Ns meanwhile all my professors have been ugly and lame 😂😂😂

[the-book-in-the-mirror]

Mary Plays Pokemon Gaia - Part I: the beginning [Reposted from Twitter]

Hi! I'm @miyamoris and this is my blog for essays, let's plays and other more thought-out posts and conversations. To kick off the blogging, I'm bringing my Pokemon Gaia playthrough, styled after forums screenshot let's plays. (I'm not a video person. Sorry!)

I started this playthrough two years ago - it's hardly a long game but took me a while to finish it for... reasons. The first posts are reproductions from the original Twitter threads that I'd rather archive somewhere more reliable. The only thing I'll change is formatting so they flow better as blog posts. It's very likely the posterior updates will look different in style - instead of posting as I play like I did before, I have already finished the game and took a bunch of screenshots to organize while memory is still fresh. This is the first time I post let's plays on tumblr so I'm still discovering what works better.

For those who doesn't know, Pokemon Gaia is a Pokemon FireRed romhack created by Spherical Ice. Right now it's completed up to the Elite Four and thecomplete game with post-game and all is currently being overhauled as a Emerald hack. This hack is pretty popular for getting the exact feel of an official pokemon game plus some impressive technical achievements like perfectly reproducing the Mega Evolution system from gen VI into a 3rd gen rom.

Without more delays, let's begin. Enjoy!

[Original Thread]

let's goooo

-> #maryplaysgaia for my organizing and your muting convenience

Right off the bat, I already like the player sprite - it's visibly drawing from the FRLG sprite but it's well-done.

The Orbtus region map - the game seems to revolve strongly around archaeology (the professor in the intro says he's an archaeologist (typed it right on the first try!)) so it's unsurprising to find a lot of caves and ruins there.

Running shoes before even getting a starter! lovely game!!

I won't do a whole let's play-like thread summarizing every game bit but I'll try to keep threading the most notable game moments and whatever observation I have.

REALLY LOVELY GAME though tbh I am not sure if we even have gyms in this region

So for now an iffy lady asked back a book I got from the library, there's a lot involving earthquakes and instead of getting a mon in a lab, you meet the professor in a library.

Okay this is funny

The starters are 4th gen starters - this game has up to 6th gen mons and mechanics (updated type chart, physical/special split etc.)

Empoleon is easily my fave among those so I'm grabbing piplup. they tell you their nature right once you chose them too.

- there's no rival battle for now, it seems

- you don't see the exact pokemon IVs but they give you an idea how well the mon is faring there

...and yeah I ended up picking another piplup cause those E's were grating me. look, it only took five minutes.

Rival battles you (another neat sprite) after you talk to the professor and get a bunch of stuff and instructions. which is cool to me, cause I just got a neat taillow.😎

NOT CALM NATURE COME ON

Okay so there's the professor asking teens to help him investigate fucking earthquakes and a subquest about a missing weedle and I just got into this special room with a clefairy boss??

Girlboss team!

YOOOOOO

Ariados isn't too good but I could do a few things with this one in the early game.

Early game team: done ✅though I expect a few of these to stick around beyond that.

I just realized I've been writing this thread for nearly two hours and it's lacking a better overview of the game so:

- You're travelling through a region where an ancient civilization was supposedly wiped by earthquakes

- There are tremors happening again now so you're working with this region's ProfessorTM to investigate it. Your rival is very the May/Brandon 3rd gen type of rival (assistant that is pretty chill)

(Thread content will continue on the next post. Apparently tumblr does not want me to post more than 30 images. Ah well!)

[mediocre--writing]

Safe With You (Headcannon)

Harry Potter X Ravenclaw!Werewolf!Reader

(also like kinda Harry’s family X Reader lol)

Summary: You and Harry met in your first year and when he invites you home for the summer, what will his family say about your blooming relationship?

Word Count: 3318

Warnings: none, but EVERYONE IS ALIVE BECAUSE HARRY DESERVES A HAPPY FAMILY!!

i wholeheartedly believe that harry potter would have been an awkward, gangly boy regardless if he grew up with the dursleys or not

so in this, harry gets to grow up relatively normal

except peter’s gone because nobody likes him

but when harry gets to go to hogwarts after he turns 11, he’s a little bit more confident but i still think he would be a little shy and anxious

he would still be friends with ron on the train ride there

he would get to know hermione well, too

and he would get to know you as well

he first sees you at the sorting ceremony, when you were put into ravenclaw, which really isn’t the reason harry becomes interested in you

the reason he becomes interested in you is because you have large scars on your neck and face and, from what he can see, your hands, too

he’s only ever seen scars like that on one other person

his uncle moony

and of course he knows about moony’s furry little problem and he’s heard the stories of what his dad and uncle did to help him

and so the next day, when you have your first class together, he comes up to you with no intention to let you go without a friend

and from that first day on, you're both inseparable

of course around second year, you tell harry your secret because you disappear every month and come back beaten and bruised with more scars than before

and he tells you about his uncle moony, and how his dad became an animagus 

“but you can’t tell anyone because nobody’s really supposed to know about his furry little problem”

but you feel so touched because he knew the whole time and never felt in danger around you

and of course you’re close with ron and hermione too 

because like of course you would be

ron makes sure that you get a weasley sweater every christmas because nobody should ever go without one

hermione does research on all she can to help you, along with making her own wolfsbane when you reach 4th year because she’s upped her potions skills

i also feel like mcgonagall, even though she’s not your head of house, would totally hang out with you in her cat form on full moons 

or at least watch over you

harry talks about his family to you and vise versa

he writes about you a lot in his letters to home

james and lily feel like they know you already and remus is proud of harry for taking initiative for making you feel safe

you also tag along with the trio to all their wonderful adventures

you're not the greatest witch, despite being in ravenclaw

you show people that stereotypes aren’t always true

because not all ravenclaws are smart in class

but

you can always figure out the riddles to get inside the dorm

and you have the most sarcastic humor and can always get your friends to laugh

and most ravenclaw’s brains are always running so fast that they often forget homework, classes, and can often be seen scribbling down final paragraphs to essays they forgot to do the night before

you also daydream a lot

like a lotttttttt

anywhoooo

you, ron, and hermione are invited to the potter/black/lupin household somewhere around 6th year

and yes the boys all live together because with the combined riches of james and sirius they bought a house with like ten bedrooms and decided that it would be easier when they began raising harry and also taking care of moony on full moon nights and the days prior/after 

all in all it would just be easier

back on topic

you, ron, and hermione spend the last month of summer break at the unrealistically large house that you never would have guessed harry potter lived in

because the boy wears the same three shirts every week so how was his house so big because you look homeless, harry!!!

but the three of you come to harry’s house at separate times

hermione arrives first because she’s punctual like that

ron’s next because his mom was on his tail about leaving at the right time

you arrive last because the full moon was the night before and you were asleep for most of the day

you only wake up because of hedwig pecking gently at your arm with a note from harry asking where you were

and you quickly pack a bag and get yourself presentable, but the new cut that has yet to scab over on your cheek is kinda sticking out and just…

ew

you floo over soon after 

and you land in their fireplace in the living room

a really large living room that has like three couches and everyone’s there

ron and hermione are next to each other but they’re also ignoring one another???

ahhh the wondrous world of denying your feelings 

james is talking to ron

lily is eagerly talking to hermione about the new curriculum and how nice it is to finally be able to apparate and that she’ll find it easy when she learns

sirius chimes in a time or two

remus is dozing next to lily, who’s rubbing his back comfortingly

there’s an instant sense of warmth that just kinda envelops the room 

it puts you at ease 

they all turn to the intrusion in their fireplace and you smile a bit awkwardly

harry is the first to stand up and greet you

with a hug

a big hug

that lasts a little too long

you kind of collapse in his arms

james and lily share a little look

and they know that harry’s in love with this girl

as if they didn’t know that from the obscene amount of times he’s mentioned your name

james and sirius stand up next 

james hugs you tighter than molly weasley and you wince

because he’s totally the momma bear

sirius lightly hugs your shoulders because harry’s more than mentioned your condition and based on remus’ snoring on the couch, he knows that you would be just as equally tired and sore

hermione and ron smile at you and wave because you all have been talking all summer and you’ve gotten with hermione a few times already

you sit on the other side of lily, who gives you a sweet hug as to not jostle remus, who’s leaning on her shoulder asleep

you all fall into easy, quiet, conversation

you scratch a bit at the new scar on your face out of anxious habit

lily leans towards you while sirius is talking about the motorcycle he had while he was in hogwarts, and the one he has now

“honey, your cheek is bleeding a little bit, if you ask harry he can show you where the bandages are,”

even though she’s pointing out that there’s blood dripping down your face, you feel loved and wanted and welcome

so lily catches harry’s attention and he walks you into the bathroom where they keep bandages and alcohol to clean the cut

it’s a bit of an awkward walk down the hall there but once you’re in the bathroom, you sit on the closed toilet and harry grabs the alcohol and a cotton ball and leans down to your face

you look into each other’s eyes because he’s holding your chin to angle your cheek towards him

“was it bad last night?”

“it’s never good”

…

“that was a bad attempt at a joke, sorry. it wasn’t really any worse than usual, ya know?”

“i get it.”

**weird-teenagers-in-love-but-don’t-know-how-to-act-silence**

“so what have you been doing over summer?”

you don’t really know how to answer that

you don’t have any siblings and your parents are both busy most of the time so you just chill at home

“i watched movies and read a few books that i hadn’t gotten to before, i don’t know i didn't do much, really.”

“yeah we haven’t done much this summer. we spent the last like week cleaning because you guys were coming over”

*awkward chuckles*

harry put the bandage on your cheek and you both walked back to the living room talking quietly to one another

remus was awake now

kinda

he was still leaning on lily but his eyes were open

“hi, professor, how are you doing?”

“i imagine about as well as you are, y/n”

you and remus had gotten close during your third year because of your condition and you would spend time together in the infirmary 

he shared his chocolate with you often

which harry mentioned was a pretty high praise from him

he let you slip in class during days around the full moon because he was slacking too

you also had similar senses of humor and talking points

so you were already comfortable around him

sirius kinda intimidated you just because he had a very confident aura around him that kinda reminded you of the slytherins who would tease you for your scars in first and second year

but you kinda eased up around him as everyone got more comfortable

the adult���s friendship reminded you of your friendship

lily and hermione were both like nagging mothers with a little dark side

ron and sirius were both kinda overshadowed in their youth and found shelter in their friends

obviously james and harry are like the same person through and through

you and remus have a very similar personality 

as well as the whole wolf thing, ya know

and seeing the marauders and lily last so long gave you hope that your friends would stick around for you as well

everything was free and easy until dinner

everyone sat around a large table eating take out chinese food because nobody could be bothered to actually cook tonight

james and sirius were directly across from you 

and they both knew about harry’s not-so-secret crush and they were beginning to think that you shared at least some of those feelings

“so what do your parents do?”

“my mom works at a car shop, she’s a mechanic, and my dad works at gringotts,”

“so your dad’s a wizard and your mom--”

“muggle,”

“ahhh”

“yeah she’s really cool though. sometimes she brings home projects or brings me with her and we work on cars together. i’m still trying to convince her to let me buy a used bike and fix it up but she thinks it's too dangerous,”

sirius fell in love, you were immediately accepted into his heart

you were friends with harry, had a good connection with remus already, and you wanted a motorcycle???

james was still iffy about you, just because he was protective of harry, but he saw how kind and sweet and real you were

“what do you plan on doing once you leave hogwarts?”

**que alarm bells ringing in your head

“i’m not really sure, i don’t really know who would hire me in the first place but i was pretty close with fred and george, who just opened their joke shop down in diagon alley, and they were thinking about opening one in hogsmeade during the school year and said they may consider me to manage it if i wanted since i helped design some of their products,”

the boys were kinda (superduper) impressed by that because harry wasn’t really involved with pranks, and now they finally had somebody to talk to about them

then they moved on to nagging hermione because they were already close with the weasleys and knew all about ron

and his budding feelings for hermione

the first week or so was a little strange, just getting used to the way things worked around the house, but everyone was comfortable after that

harry and ron shared a room and you and hermione were together

james had made sure that the boys and girls stayed separated at night and the invisibility cloak was in his possession

oh he saw the sparks between you and harry and the blooming relationship happening with ron and hermione

lily tried to convince him that nothing bad was going to happen and let you guys have a bit more freedom

but like i said before

james is mama bear

as the weeks go by you and harry get closer 

and more comfortable

and you sit closer to one another on the couch 

and at dinner

and when you play quidditch in the backyard, you always playfully tease one another with little glances back and forth

and when you go to the lake behind their house you jokingly tackle one another into the water and dance around

as the days go by, the month comes to an end and starts again, which leads to another full moon

the week before you start to slow down and become more out of it

the last two days before, you start to gain lots of energy, whether it be from nerves or just your body knowing that it’s going to be in pain later that causes it to give you more energy before

none of this bothers harry because remus goes through the same thing and he’s kinda used to it

when you slow down, he slows with you, continues to alter what you’re doing to accommodate your energy level

when you become more hyper, he matches your energy, which usually includes giggles, tickle fights, and more competitive quidditch matches

he also makes sure you take your wolfsbane the week before

“ughhhh ok dad!”

“stop calling me that! i’m being fucking nice!”

the night of everyone eats an early dinner because you, remus, james, and sirius have to go to the little shed in the backyard that’s not really too tiny, but it’s smaller than the shrieking shack

james and sirius try to ease the tension with lighthearted comments, but you feel more tense than usual because you’ve never done this with anyone before

besides remus in your third year and mcgonagall occasionally popping in during your first year at hogwarts

when the transition began, james and sirius transformed into padfoot and prongs

remus’ transition was quicker than yours, something to do with age and his body being used to the transformation after so many years

yours took longer

and even though you took the wolfsbane, it was still extremely painful and took almost 20 minutes to finally transform

james and sirius had flashbacks to their first time with remus and how painful it looked

and they had a whole other respect for how lively and extroverted you were because even when he was your age, remus was always so mellow and quiet

but they hang out with you and remus for the night, distracting you both from whatever discomfort you may have been in 

eventually the sun came up and you and remus transformed back into yourselves

but james and sirius made sure they pushed you into another little room so when you transformed back you wouldn’t be exposed to them

you found a robe on the back of that door that you slipped on before you collapsed on the floor from exhaustion

sirius walked remus’ limping body back to the house while james came to check on you

he knocked on the door and when he didn’t hear anything he slid the door open slowly, seeing you against the wall, on the floor, in the robe they left you

your hair was tousled from the transformation and you were still breathing heavy, even in your sleep

james gently picked you up off the ground bridal style and walked you out of the shack slowly, and when he got to the front door, he saw harry anxiously wringing his hands together 

a small smile spread across james’ face as he saw his son being so completely whipped for you

harry let out an audible sigh of relief when he saw you with his dad

“she’s ok right?”

“did you notice any new scrapes or cuts?”

“was it a rough night?”

etc, etc, etc,

they made it into the house where lupin was laying on one of the couches and lily was looking over his body, making sure that he didn’t have any severe injuries

james laid your body on another couch, hermione coming to sit by your feet on the end of the couch 

harry sat on the floor right by your head, stroking your forehead and hair and staring at you with the sweetest worried expression

it was sweet

once lily finished looking over remus and he went to his room, she came over to you

“do you know if  she usually sleeps this much afterwards?”

“yeah, she usually sleeps through the day, but she’ll probably wake up between lunch and dinner then fall asleep after eating or drinking something.”

harry responded without even looking up at his mom

lily had a sweet smile on her face at her sons’ obvious affection with you

she still checked over your body for any serious cuts that wouldn’t heal themselves within the next day or two

harry made sure you were comfortable on the couch

he stuffed a pillow under your head and draped a fuzzy blanket over you 

and he sat on the floor in front of you for the whole day

he would occasionally talk to ron or hermione or whoever walked in

but he didn’t move unless he had to use the bathroom

you woke up around 3pm

and harry had his head resting on his arm, which was resting the couch

you lifted your arm and stroked his arm from his elbow down to his hand back and forth

he looked up at you quickly and you gave him a gentle smile

he smiled back

“how’re you feeling, want coffee?”

and that was in his softest, little, tired voice

of course you nodded to the promise of a hot cup of coffee

because after transformations you always felt extra cold and had to cover yourself in blankets and consume hot drinks to feel like you’re at a normal temperature 

when harry returned with your coffee you were sat up on the couch, the blanket resting over your lap

he took a seat next to you and handed you the mug

you smiled at him and rested your head on his shoulder as you rested against the back of the couch

you took small sips from your mug as you relaxed and tried to ignore any lingering pain in your body

“your shoulders hurt?”

you smiled lightly because you always complained how bad your shoulders hurt after full moons and he always asked the question with an affectionate, teasing smile

“only all the time,”

“hold on”

harry moved himself to be laying down against the pillow that you were using before, then gently pulling you down to lay between his legs, your back to his chest

he rubbed over your shoulders lightly as you closed your eyes and took the occasional sip from your mug

it only took a few minutes for the both of you to fall into a light sleep, your grip loosening on your mug, but not enough to drop it, and harry’s arms wrapped around your torso

and that’s when lily, james, and sirius walked in

they were going to the kitchen to make dinner, but stopped to check on you

and you can bet that sirius took at least eight pictures

and they were all happy harry found you 

because it never mattered if you dated or not

and it never mattered if they liked you or not

because harry loved you and made you feel safe no matter what

and when sirius and james made a bet for when you would get together, remus got all the money cause he’s good like that

needless to say, you were together by the time you got on the hogwarts express that september

[neitimatch]

So Basically a fanfiction idea

So, this’ll be basically just rambling. Since I got an idea for BNHA fic after reading some and decided to write it somewhere, even though I might never actually write it, seeing as I’m already swamped with buncha stories along with work etc. This’ll have trans headcanons and femslash.

Oh well, here we go:

Magne and Midnight both survive but neither of them are in good shape. There might be some timeline differences since I want both Magne and Midnight at the same hospital at the same time.

On Magnes case, the villains realize that they need to get her to hospital or she would surely die. So they show her up at the hospital and she ends up in the heroes custody. She will be in a coma for few months and then wake up. Some time goes past and none of the villains come to visit her cause, duh, they would just get caught. Until one of the guards acts differently than normally and they turn out to be Toga. She tells Magne about all their plans that they are going to bust her out and she’ll come with them and they will be whole family again. But Magne isn’t nearly as enthused and just tells Toga that it would be safer to just leave her here. The heroes would surely have a way to track her by now and she doesn’t want to put rest of the League in danger. Then Toga is like:

“You are the heart of the League, Big Sis, you can’t just give up. I- we can’t just give up on you.”

And then Magne, in big sis fashion, puts a hand on Togas shoulder and just tells her that her number one priority is to keep them all safe now. Toga cries but accepts that this is what Magne wants.

Then Midnight ends up in the same hospital in really bad shape. Izuku wants to go see her but Inko is a bit iffy, fearing that since Midnight is in such a bad shape the villains would just come and stab her or something and Izuku would be hurt too. So she tags along(Don’t question it, it’s mom instinct and even if your child could level down buildings it’s still mom’s instincts to try to protect them.) 

When they come to the hospital, Aizawa is there, just leaving to go see Magne. Though he doesn’t tell that to Izuku. The moment Midnight(referred as Nemuri from here on out) sees Inko, she is immediately smitten. She answers and talks with Izuku while low-key flirting with Inko. Inko though, in a fashion, is oblivious.

These two, Inko and Izuku visiting Midnight and Toga Magne every week, continue for a little over a month, until they happen at the same time.

Toga visits Magne, but when she’s leaving, she decides that it would be fun to see what kind of other patients there are in the building and maybe stab them a whole bunch. She goes through some who all seem boring, but then she comes to Midnights room and sees Izuku and Inko there with the hero. She is really happy at first, since Izuku is there, and she reasons that Inko will be as good as Izuku since she is his mom. Toga is about to make her move but she sees Inko hugging a crying Izuku and something in her just snaps and she stops. She keeps looking at the scene and feeling something. Usually it would be jealousy or hatred, because of her parents. But now she just feels longing. 

Toga stands there and doesn’t even realize when her disguise disappears, she just keeps looking at them. Izuku then proceeds to see her and goes full on protective mode. But Toga doesn’t do anything, she just keeps staring. Inko realizes what Izuku is looking at and goes to confront the girl, not listening to Izukus pleas to stay, since this silent staring Toga seems much scarier than the normal insnae one.

Inko and Toga look at each other while Izuku is like: Get away from her, she is insane, the more she likes someone the more likely she is to stab them, I should know!

But then realizes that Toga is not looking Izukus way, she is just silently staring at Inko. She brings up her hand and just keeps it towards Inko.

And then she starts crying. And backs off.

Inko feels Toga’s pain and is like: If you want, we can talk more tomorrow evening if you come to my place.

Toga looks back and nods and Izuku is going nuts.

Toga meets Inko next evening as Izuku is at U.A. She is completely reserved at first. But when Inko asks what happened to her next to Nemuris room, she just starts sobbing but also telling her story. How her family hated her, how heroes turned a blind eye when she was thrown out. How all of the people who tried to help just tried to force Quirk suppressants on her. That everyone, until she joined the League, just saw her as something that needed to be fixed, none who accepted her fully. She tells Inko that not her Quirks power, but that she needs blood. She is basically a vampire so her mental state will deteriorate if she goes without for too long.

Inko at the end, while Toga is just having a break down and sobbing, is hugging the girl and is like: Imma adopt her!

Next morning, while Toga is still sleeping at Izukus bed after crying herself to sleep, Inko goes to Nemuri, who she has started low-key dating(they are putting it off until Nemuri gets released). She tells her about what Toga told her and Nemuri is like: They won’t let you adopt her since they see her as a danger and don’t think you are strong enough to have her at house arrest. She will also take this surprisingly well, seeing as she saw Toga when she was at the hospital thing. She then tells crying Inko that she’ll do her best. Nemuri is then released the next day.

Though before she leaves the hospital, Nemuri goes with Aizawa to talk to Magne. And she asks AIzawa to leave so she can talk with Magne girl-to-girl. Nemuri tells Magne about Toga situation, and at first Magne is really scared for her little sis, but then Nemuri asks what she would give to have Toga safe, and Magne is like: Literally anything as long as it doesn’t hurt her chosen family(aka the league).

Nemuri is not really that happy, but Magne tells her that while they would most likely not gain Leagues secrets, they would still get two high ranking away form there. Nemuri then decides to make a deal with Magne: Toga will be safe and so will she, but Magne needs become a trans-advisor to U.A. and take Quirk suppressants, she will also be allowed to transition medically(since she wasn’t allowed before due to being a villain). Toga would go to U.A. to study to be a hero and they would keep an eye on both of them there.They would not ask for Leagues secrets, but one misstep from either of them and they’ll both go to jail for the rest of their lives. Magne agrees.

Nemuri ends up adopting Toga(Now Kayama Himiko, referred to as Himiko from here on out.) Nemuri tells Inko what had happened who is extremely happy. Himiko takes the adoption and and deal really well, though she is sad that she can’t go to play with the other League members anymore. She is somewhat weary of her new mother, who is also weary of her, but after few weeks they get along fine, though Himiko refuses to call Nemuri mom and just sticks to first name.

Meanwhile Izuku is having a mental breakdown in school, as they have started to question their gender. It started with a party they had hosted where all girls had boys uniforms on and boys girls, and Izuku realized they really enjoyed having a skirt on. The first idea that they came to was that they were a cross dresser, but it just didn’t sit well, so they started to do some research. Then they had a talk with Aizawa, who contacted Tiger, thinking  Izukuthat he would know way more about gender issues than a sleep-deprived professor. Izuku and Tiger talk, but seeing as Tiger is a trans man, while he can understand and give advice, he also advices Izuku to ask more from a trans woman. Izuku is more confident after the talk, and few days later Aizawa tells the class that they have a new gender-advisor and Izuku goes to immediately meet her, aka Magne, gets scared seeing the ex-villain, but after a bit calms down and they talk. Magne snarks a lot but as Izuku continues to be truthful and looking kinda scared of themselves, Magne starts to feel the old big sis powers kicking in, and she talks with Izuku seriously, at the end they both feel much better, Magne even telling Izuku to come back whenever they wish if they need. Few days later Izuku goes back to Magne and tells her that they are indeed, a trans woman(Referred from now on as Izu, and later on Izumi), Magne then advices Izu that she needs to do what is best for her, telling people she fully trusts first and going from there. Izu acknowledges this and thanks Magne, who is then like: Just call me Big Sis.

Izu tells Ochako, who is first little bit lost but the full on supportive, she also tells Tsu whojust smiles and is like: Kero.

Few months go by and Himiko has started to call Nemuri: Mama or Mama Nemuri. She is not really that much different, but with steady supply of blood now granted to her, she has lost her bloodlust. She also, since Nemuri and Inko are dating, calls Inko: Mommy. The school year is also coming to an end and Nemuri decides to propose to Inko, who says yes and they move in together.

When the year finally ends, Izu shows up at her home, with her support group ready as she is going to tell Inko about her being trans. Her support group consists of Todoroki, Ochako and Tsu. Though what she does not know is that Nemuri and Inko have moved in together, so when the door opens and out bursts Kayama Himiko, yelling: Big bro Izuku, not only does Izu get bad dysphoria, but also is just scared about Himiko being here. Himiko then proceeds to be like: Since we are siblings now my love for you is purely platonic!

And Izu is like: Thank god, I’m straight so it would have just ended in heartbrea... wait what siblings!?!?!

Himiko then proceeds to jump Ochako, who catches her in a bubble and they squabble a little. The group then goes inside and Nemuri and Inko tell whats up, Himiko is contantly clinging on Ochako, who has stopped trying to force the girl away since she would just come back anyway. Izu then asks to talk with Inko privately and tells her mom about her being trans. Inko is totally just like: I HAVE TWO DAUGTHERS NOW, AWESOME!!!

Like, WAY, too excited but it makes Izu feel better, Izu also tells her mother that she will go by Izumi from now on. After they talk and cry a bit Izumi goes back to her friends and Inko gets Himiko and Nemuri and tells them whats up. Nemuri has a small shock but gets over it really quickly and just can’t seem to stop smiling. Himiko on other hand completely flies of the fucking flip, not because Izumi was trans, she had Big Sis Mag after all, but because she remembered that she had misgendered her at the door. Himiko literally LAUNCHES herself at Izumi and just keeps telling her how sorry she is, with full on teateristics and all. Izumi just smiles and tells her that she didn’t know and its okay now. Todoroki leaves for his home during night after a romantic? farewell with Izumi.

Next day the girls go to shop new clothes for Izumi, they have bunch of money as Nemuri had been like: Take my money and use as much as you like, my new daughter needs clothes, dammit!

And they bring home a total haul. Some lazing around clothes(Tsu) Casual clothes(Ochako) and erotic clothes(Himiko, who constantly kept telling Izumi how much Todoroki was going to like them later on.)

When the school starts again, Izumi goes in with girls uniform and informs all of her changes, while most people are fine there are some, mainly Bakugou, who is not very kind at the beginning(He will warm up and stop being a transphobe later on and become the cool Aniki type) and the the class pervert(who keeps asking about literally everything trans related and asking for Izumi to perv for him. Don’t worry, he’ll get kicked out from U.A. or just dies somewhere and nobody cares)

After few weeks of school, Magne calls Izumi to talk with her(She has been on hormones for months now and lost muscle mass. She looks like a ripped lady now with all working parts(Yes I know this is not how it works at the moment at our world, sadly, but this is a fantasy world and it can have super effective hormone treatment, dammit), she tells Izumi that she can start her medical transition. So Izumi starts.

During the fall break, Nemuri and Inko have their wedding and Himiko and Izumi are going to be the flower girls. Bunch of the students attend. Later during the reception, Bakugou meets Izumi and asks her for a dance. Izumi agrees but only after her boyfriend, Shoto Todoroki, had promised to keep an eye on them the whole time. Bakugou apologizes to Izumi and while they don’t immediately go back to being friends(years of abuse plus transphobia, not gonna be easy) they start being more civil towards each other with hope that maybe later on they can be friends again.

Meanwhile Ochako has finally decided to act on her feelings and show Himiko who is the top of their relationship. Himiko is is more than happy with this development as they keep kissing outside the reception. Nemuri and Inko, who had asked before Izumis thoughts on the matter, finally tell their daughters that Izumi is now legally Nemuris adopted daughter, and that her and Inkos last names have been changed to Kayama.

Epilogue:

Inko and Nemuri are happily together, loving their children and grandchild.

Himiko and Ochako have a daughter and are engaged. Ochako is overly protective mom and Himiko is the 'cool' mama.

Shoto and Izumi are married and Izumi is pregnant.(Fantasy Woooooorrrrld~~)

[marvelous-imagining]

Wrong

Hey, everyone! I realized after posting this on my Wattpad account that I completely forgot to post it here on Tumblr as well and I think you guys have the right to read this too if you so please.

Basically, to put it as short as I can, I still see people liking this series and it makes me feel bad that I never finished it. I still won’t, so don’t get your hopes up. Also, sorry about that as well... But I explained in my Farewell post why I won’t be writing here anymore. Nothing about that will change. But I can share what I had planned for Wrong specifically. Writing all this down kind of gave me an odd sense of closure since I did feel a bit bad for never finishing it when I had some things planned. I had some key plot points along with the ending somewhat figured out and wanted to share them with those who might be interested to know how it all could have ended. I hope it’s not too disappointing, haha.

But anyway, without further ado, here we go...

(the rest is pretty much copy-pasted from Wattpad)

So, we left off with Chris's POV in Part 12. We saw Reina, she seems to be an ok person, right? Well I had a lot planned for Reina.

1. She's controlling. Throughout the story I wanted to bring that out more. She's asking (more demanding) Chris to shave, she would have had a lot to say about the way he dresses, the amount of exercise he does (too much but he does it to destress especially if reader isn't around to help him with that ayoooo), just wants to control him in every way possible, even with the smallest of things

2. She's after that perfect suburban married couple life who will have a couple of kids who will go to great schools and grow up very prim and proper. She never got that calm family life, her parents weren't the happiest and she was an only child. Growing up in her household was a bit rough for her and her relationship with her parents still affects her. She also works in her father's company because she was practically forced to. She can't escape her family in that way so she tries to recreate her fantasies of a perfect life with Chris to no avail.

3. There's a point in time she starts getting more and more interested in sex with Chris. He's not really feeling it because it all feels so forced and also he can't stop thinking about the whole situation with the reader. He's torn between his affair and wanting to make things work with his wife because he has once convinced himself that he wants the same things as Reina. He's also scared of divorcing her because he has once swore to love her and be with her forever and they were in love. truly. not anymore though. but anyway, so they become more sexually active in the relationship. chris might cut ties with reader during this time once again only to realize he has tasted that forbidden fruit that is the reader and now cannot be satisfied with his wife anymore. sexually or emotionally. he needs more of that forbidden fruit. sin tastes and feels so amazing although it's so wrong.

4. Reina gets pregnant. And at this point Chris and Y/N are back at it again, affair going strong. The news really shock Chris, the pregnancy wasn't planned. Chris had begun to lean more towards the decision to divorce once again but this whole pregnancy throws him off. He has a little one on the way now. So he meets with Y/N not too long after and breaks the news. Y/N can see he's distraught, maybe even felt it from the way he acted in bed because of course problems in this story would be attempted to be fixed by sex because we love that problematic way of dealing with emotions, don't we? nobody ever said this wouldn't be problematic. so obviously both are torn, they don't want to leave the other but.... chris has to think about his family.... and the whole thing with them being in a professor/student relationship

5. after some time it comes to light that the kid is actually not chris's but a coworker of Reina's who she had been cheating on Chris with for years. (hence the sudden desperation for sex that followed afterwards to prevent chris from getting suspicious) Reina married Chris to please her parents pretty much, their fathers were business partners, planning on using each other for profit and all that business stuff for having their families intertwine like that. Reina never really wanted to marry chris, they did have their time in love and everything but this coworker of hers was actually her one true love from her younger years. he married someone too but the two kept seeing each other nearly every day, the feelings never went away, they ended up caving many many many times. and yeah, chris is not the biological father. obviously this will cause a huge fight. they will eventually separate, and a divorce will happen. 100%. and reina will find out about chris and y/n... and though she is bitter this college girl stole chris's heart who she wants to blame the whole problem on, she decides to stay quiet about the whole thing. she knows she's wronged chris and she has no business trying to ruin his career or cause him more pain. she knows she's done awful things, she can't really take it out on him. she will probably threaten them with the knowledge at first but decide against it, even show them she won't say anything. she still is not fond of y/n. she also ends up with the father of her child. they are growing a family together now.

Now..... timelines will be a bit mixed up here, so this next thing would have come before the whole pregnancy thing.

So the thing between Y/N and Chris continues, they have many talks about stopping, maybe at this point they would have just agreed on a break or sth and they actually end up meeting in a company party. because surprise surprise, Y/N's mother is actually working in Reina's father's company. She works above Reina, so she's her senior/superior. They don't really work together that much but they are acquainted and friendly. Y/N and Chris will both be there for the party and it will be very uncomfortable. A conversation about Y/N studying in the same college that Chris works at comes up and there'll will be a lot of comments from both Y/N's parents and Reina that hit very different when you know about the affair. like "I hope our daughter hasn't been troubling you." and "Well, I hope in return my husband has been treating you well."

on top of all of that y/n might be struck with some jealousy and actually tease chris in very sneaky ways. maybe there's some finger foods she's eating in seductive ways, maybe she's flirting with some interns and sending glances at chris to make sure he's watching. she's taking the risks and it's making her all the more excited. this relationship is very exciting, thrilling for both of them.

chris will walk up to y/n and her parents and ask for permission to talk to y/n about certain school stuff that he "has been meaning to talk to her about but haven't had the time". and now that reina is mingling, he found the right timing to snatch you away. he's also apologizing for the inconvenience.

turns out y/n's dad is actually quite fond of chris, saying how nice of a man he is and senses nothing iffy in his behavior.

they may or may not have a little fun in a public bathroom and create rumors that reach reina's ears that she brings up to chris later on. nobody spilled the beans on who those two were, they weren't fully seen.

she will realize through her jealousy that she actually wants something more with chris but him being married and all is what complicates things. he, after cheating on his wife with y/n in the company party of his father-in-law's, realizes just how risky this whole affair is, but realizes he has no intentions to stop. he want's y/n real bad. he's in deep, just like she is.

so there are connections. small world, isn't it?

but anyway, to the finishing line of his story.

chris divorces his wife. he meets with y/n again after a while of not being in contact, after thinking some things through. they love each other deeply but they've both been through so much during their affair as have other people around them. chris has gone through a divorce, he had been preparing for a child that ended up not being his in the end, he's battled with not taking control of his life and following his long forgotten dreams. all throughout this story, he would have been writing a story himself about the whole thing. a little romanticized, dramatized (though the story in itself is already filled with drama) but most importantly he's gotten his inspiration back, y/n woke something in him that got him writing again. she had become his muse, someone who nearly possessed his mind... obviously the whole connection between these two is problematic and.... toxic in a way??? like i think we can all agree this isn't the healthiest of relationships. there's a lot of back and forth, hot and cold, breakups and makeups, the fact that it's frowned upon/illegal due to chris being y/n's professor, chris cheating on his wife with her which she is just enabling.... also this situation has not helped her education at all and in turn made things a but worse... it's messy and causing a lot of distress for both parties. they end up separating as well. it will be hard for both of them. chris will do most of the talking, explaining how this is not the right time for them to start a proper relationship after everything they've both gone through. he's explaining her how she needs to focus on her studies, he doesn't want to sabotage her future and he needs to give his dreams a shot once more. he's moving away after the semester ends, he's starting off new and he hopes she will do the same. obviously the whole night will be emotional, romantic yet sad... there's a lot of pain but also a lot of love for each other. and they end up separating, not contacting each other again.

years go by and finally y/n graduates. she finds out that there is a book signing event from none other than chris. he's finally published a book and it has brought quite a lot of attention. it's nothing too big for now but a spike in sales and popularity has been talked about. she's brought back to her time with him and can't help but feel proud that he's finally doing something he's wanted to do for a long time. he's written a book that will become successful. though romanticized in some parts still a very raw story about love, family, career and affairs (maybe even midlife-crisis) that doesn't sugarcoat things. obviously characters, the setting and much else have been changed to not reveal too much of what happened in real life. i'm thinking even occupations of the characters would be changed, it won't be a professor/student relationship but still an almost boss/employee one... or maybe better described as senior/junior... idk didn't think that far..... but anyway...

she's very happy for him but also curious to how the book turned out, curious to know what was going on inside his mind when they had their affair. she gets the book, curiosity becoming too much for her to bear.

so she reads the book. probably won't be too fond of some of the things written but recognizes the beautifully written raw emotions and feelings and feels the depth of them. she sheds many tears while reading the book, realizing how deeply he truly loved her. her heart clenches at the memory of him, of everything they went through. she realizes she still holds him dear to her heart. and she has nothing romantic going on for her right now, she's wondering how his situation is. based on what she read she is hopeful he still feels the same somewhat. i mean, it's been years and he book is being published only just now... she's trying to make sense of why he would still be interested.... but without thinking about it much further, she decides to go to the event, ask for her book to be signed.

she's nervous obviously, waiting until the last of the people have gotten their books signed. just as chris is wrapping up and starting to leave, y/n walks up to him and nicely asks for him to do one more signature. he immediately recognizes her voice. though it's been years, his writing has kept it alive. every time he described her voice, he could hear it in his head. you had stayed to haunt him even after all this time.

the two will catch up, fidgeting awkwardly. it's been years, jumping right into each other's embrace would be quite weird and awkward for them. they still kind of want to do that... but anyway they keep it all civil and everything but end up agreeing to meeting up for dinner or something. they will be going for dinner and on the drive be talking and catching up but during the ride their plans change. though both of them wanted to take it slow and be careful, they just cannot wait. they go up to either one of their apartments or a hotel room one of them is staying at (didn't think where this event would be held) and just go at it. it'll be passionate, emotional... they will take their time, make sure to show each other how they truly feel when they've never really been experts at communicating verbally, but no need to worry, they'll learn in time.

it will end with them sharing their want to take things slow but throwing that out of the window. they finally have the chance to be together, they want to get right on it. jokes will be made about moving fast, even a quick vegas wedding might be brought up only to be challenged with a "ok, maybe take things just a liiiiiitle bit slower"

but yeah so in the end they do end up together. that's what i had planned for the story. i hope you liked it, i'm sorry if you didn't. i know how bothersome it can be to have a story you like be left completely unfinished with no closure but i hope you find some closure in this if that's what you were missing. i know it's not written in the best way possible, but it gives you the gist of how the story would end if i finished it. if you have any questions, let me know and i'll see if i can answer them.

i'm sorry for those of you who wanted this story to be continued. that sadly won't be happening from me. if any of you want to give this story a go, to put your own little twists into it, you have my permission. just remember if you decide to continue the story, or you're inspired to write something based on any of my stories, remember to give credit when credit is due. and with all of that said do what you want with this permission.

again, i hope this brought some closure to those who were seeking it. thank you for reading and voting for Wrong. It is a shame I can't quite put it into story form anymore. But I feel like even I got some closure from sharing what I had in store for you guys. Now I can let it rest with no remorse.

[worryinglyinnocent]

Fic: Through a Telescopic Lens

AU-gust Day Thirty-One: A Combination of Two Previous AUs. (19th Century & Professional Rivals) Fandom: Once Upon A Time/Stargate Universe/War of the Worlds Pairing: Rushbelle

Rated: T

Summary: For all that they don’t seem to get along, Ogilvy is certain that there are finer feelings at work between his two assistants, Belle French and Nicholas Rush, and he decides to help them on their way.

Through a Telescopic Lens

Ogilvy had long since accepted that finding true love was probably not going to be on the cards for him, and he had learned to live with this sad knowledge, and he had made his peace with it. Far from vowing never to have anything to do with love and romance and becoming bitter about the whole affair, he had decided that whilst he could not in good faith hope for himself, he could definitely do something about helping others towards true love. 

That was why, when Miss Belle French first came to his observatory with a keen interest in astronomy and a desire to learn as much as she possibly could, having heard tell of the accuracy and resolution of his telescope, Ogilvy began to wonder.

He began to wonder even more when Miss Belle French first met Mr Nicholas Rush. 

Rush had been Ogilvy’s assistant for the past three years. Unable to afford university attendance and having been dismissed from his hard-won scholarship after one too many arguments with the professors, becoming an apprentice had been his best chance of increasing his knowledge and putting his intellect to good use - and even Ogilvy would admit that Rush was a brilliant scientist, although he never used quite such strong terms to Rush himself, fearing that the younger man’s hubris would one day be the better of him. 

When Belle came into their lives at the observatory, Ogilvy knew that day had come. 

To say that Belle and Rush hated each other at first sight would have been incorrect. Belle had no feelings towards Rush one way or the other, so the hatred went one way only, and Ogilvy didn’t think that Rush’s strong feelings really manifested as hatred, more a fear of losing his prestigious position. If Ogilvy took Belle on as another apprentice, then where did that leave Rush?

He needn’t have worried, and Ogilvy had tried a few times to reassure him. Ogilvy would quite happily have taken on as many apprentices as his observatory could hold. Still, it was clear that Rush viewed Belle as an imposter and a rival, and he seemed to be devoting as much time to needling her and trying to push her out as he did to actually working on his observations.

Belle, for her part, took no notice of Rush’s insistent prodding, which only served to infuriate him even more. In fact, Ogilvy would go so far as to say that Belle found it amusing and would needle Rush back just as much in jest in order to get a giggle at his expense. The interactions between the two of them were fascinating to watch, and Ogilvy was certain that had he been a naturalist instead of a chemist and astronomer, he would have been able to write an entire thesis on the courtship habits of the human male and female using Belle and Rush as a case study.

There was definitely something there between them that neither of them had acknowledged yet. He had first seen it on the very first day that Belle had come into the observatory and set up at her little desk, much to Rush’s chagrin. It had only grown in the weeks that had passed since then. For all Rush professed his ire towards her, he couldn’t take his eyes off her, and Belle, for her part, would sneak little glances at her rival whenever she thought that he wasn’t looking.

There were definitely some finer feelings going on there, although getting them to admit it might prove rather more difficult. Ogilvy had toyed with the idea of simply leaving them alone in the observatory together for increasing periods of time until they actually talked to each other properly without the sniping or sarcasm that usually accompanied their conversations, but given the high levels of antagonism that were heavy in the air, he feared for the safety of some of his scientific equipment if he were to take that option.

The one thing that was clear was that they were not going to get there under their own steam, and Ogilvy, in his self-appointed position as matchmaker and helper along of true love, was going to have to coax them in the right direction. First of all, though, he had to establish that he had not misread the signs completely. Like any good scientist, he was going to have to test his hypothesis before it could be confirmed as a viable theory.

Ogilvy put his hypothesis to the test one evening after Belle had left the observatory and gone home. She lived with her father, who, whilst he did not actively condemn her interest in science and astronomy, was certainly rather iffy about the whole thing, and he did not like her staying out the entire night with only two single men for company. Ogilvy smiled at the notion. There was certainly nothing to worry about from his quarter, but he felt that Mr French would have to get used to the idea of Rush being in his daughter’s life sooner rather than later.

“You know, Mr Rush,” Ogilvy began as they were packing everything away for the night, “I think that some days you spend more time attempting to aggravate Miss French than you do actually doing your own work. Perhaps if you were to focus your attention more on what you’re supposed to be doing, you would not feel so incredibly insecure in your position as to feel the need to watch her every moment of the time you’re in the same room.”

Rush stiffened. “I just want to make sure that she doesn’t make any stupid mistakes,” he muttered. “She hardly has the experience that her position requires. She’s barely more than an amateur.”

“We were all barely more than amateurs once,” Ogilvy pointed out. “But in all the time that you’ve been, ahem, supervising her, has she ever made a stupid mistake?”

“No.”

“Mr Rush, there’s really no need to sound so incredibly disappointed in that fact. This game of one-upmanship that you’re playing with Miss French isn’t at all gentlemanly, especially since she isn’t playing back. Might I suggest that you try and take your eyes off her for a while? Although I will admit, she is certainly beautiful, and I can quite see why a man such as yourself would want to gaze upon her so intently for such extended periods of time.”

At this suggestion, Rush began to splutter indignantly, the tips of his ears going distinctly pink. Ogilvy just smiled to himself. It appeared that part one of his hypothesis had been nicely proven. Now all he had to do was to get Belle’s side of the story.

Given that Belle did not bristle every time Rush’s name was mentioned, this was a far easier process, since he could as good as ask her outright. It was the next day, and Rush had been sent on a contrived errand to the post office to get him out of the way. He had gone grumbling that as the more junior of the two of them, Belle should be the one sent to the post office, but Ogilvy had just smiled benignly and waved him on his way before turning back to Belle. They had been working in a companionable silence for a little while before he spoke.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you, Belle, what your thoughts towards Mr Rush are. I know that you always respond to his jabs marvellously, but in the moments when you’re not verbally jousting, how do you find him?”

“Well, he’s rude, and arrogant, and incredibly insecure. He’s got a chip on his shoulder the size of Cheddar Gorge, but there’s something about him that I can’t help but like. In the moments when he puts aside this stupid rivalry he has with me and gets talking about the science and the stars he’s so passionate about, he becomes a completely different person. It’s wonderful to hear. Then it’s almost as if he remembers that he’s supposed to be snipping at me rather than enthusing about science and it’s back to the way it was before. For those moments, though, it’s like getting a glimpse into the real him…”

She broke off with an embarrassed cough, looking away.

“Sorry. That probably wasn’t what you meant.”

“Oh no, my dear, it’s proved most insightful nonetheless.”

Belle sighed. “Do you think that he’s ever going to stop hating me? I can handle the verbal jousting, as you so quaintly put it; in fact I quite enjoy it at times, but I can’t help thinking that it must be exhausting for him to maintain such a high level of petty dislike for so long, especially when I can see it’s just for show, and I’ve seen the glimpses of his true nature.”

“I don’t think he hates you at all, Miss French. In fact, I’d go so far as to say the opposite.”

“He’s got a very funny way of showing it.”

“He is, as you correctly surmised, incredibly insecure. He’s had to fight hard for everything that he’s received in life, and he can’t bear the thought of what he has now being taken away from him like his other opportunities have been. Put frankly, he recognises your brilliance and he feels threatened by you. Once he realises that he has nothing to fear from you, then I think you might be surprised.”

Belle smiled.

“I do hope that you’re right, Dr Ogilvy.”

X

For the next few days after these conversations had taken place, Ogilvy continued to watch the progression of Belle and Rush’s conversations. At first, it seemed that nothing had changed between them. The sparring continued, and so did the constant glances. But after a day or so, he noticed the change. Both of them mellowed a little, the back and forth no longer as sharp and biting but more in the spirit of fun. Rush actually praised one of Belle’s observations one evening, which earned him a glowing smile from her, in turn making his ears go pink again.

Ogilvy just smiled to himself as he superintended. Things were definitely going in the right direction. Perhaps they could be trusted to be left alone together after all. It would only be for a few minutes – he couldn’t afford a scandal, after all – but hopefully it would be enough for something to happen. If Rush didn’t feel the need to keep up the façade of hatred for Ogilvy as an audience, maybe true feelings would come to light.

It was a sunny day in the observatory when he announced that he was stepping out into the garden for some trivial reason or other, and he promptly proceeded to walk around the perimeter three times doing absolutely nothing of note before coming back into the observatory. Belle and Rush were standing a little closer together, their heads both bent over the same book as they worked together, rather than against each other for once. After a while, they seemed to realise the proximity that they had got into, looking at each other as awkward silence reigned.

Belle took the initiative. Ogilvy had thought that she would be the one to do so. She snapped the book shut and pecked a chaste little kiss to Rush’s cheek before saying her thanks and moving away. Rush was left standing as if petrified for a long time afterwards, and it was only Ogilvy taking pity on him and attracting his attention that pulled him out of his stupor.

Ogilvy smiled to himself again. Yes, he was certain that those two were going to be heading in the right direction now.

[incomprehensiblelentils]

I did not get around to this yesterday but, a short selection of fictional things that meant a lot to me over the last decade! ...it is going under a cut bc it is Too Long sorry lmao.

Books

Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng: this book came out in September 2017 and I have read it four times already. It’s the kind of book I want to write but I’m not sure I’m clever enough to: every event and every character is so purposeful and you won’t catch everything the first time through. Every time I reread it I find something new to marvel at. I hope the Hulu series is half as good

Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng: this was the first piece of fiction I ever found with a family with a Chinese father and a white mother. This family is a lot less functional than my family, but I've read this three times because that means the world to me. 

Ash by Malinda Lo: I discovered this in 2011 and it was the first f/f novel I ever read, and as I would later learn, one of a handful with a happy ending at the time, particularly in YA fiction. For a long time, I reread it every time I felt hopeless. I just reread it again last month and it is still as beautiful and meaningful to me as in 2011.

Girls of Paper and Fire by Natasha Ngan: This is an Asian-inspired fantasy (becoming more common now, but still irritatingly rare) written by a queer Asian woman, with f/f. I think it is only the second one of these, after Ash? It is frustratingly rare, anyway. The worldbuilding is incredible also.

The Astonishing Color of After by Emily X.R. Pan: We are getting more stories about biracial Asians, but they are still pretty rare and I treasure every one. This one felt so real to me.

The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily M. Danforth: The first half of this book captures so beautifully what it’s like growing up queer in a religious environment when you don’t even have the words or self-awareness to know what you’re feeling. This was another one I read over and over again when I was feeling low.

The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater: this is just a book for horse girls. I don’t know how else to describe this lol. I also feel like the romance is super downplayed until the very end, and honestly barely feels like a romance to me, so that’s refreshing!

Movies:

Pacific Rim (2013): I remember having this weird feeling when asked to give my top 3 movies once in high school, like maybe my favorite movie hadn’t come out yet so I couldn’t answer properly. I was right; this is the movie I was waiting for. This is my favorite movie. The feelings this movie gives me is the standard I hold all movies to.

Terminator: Dark Fate (2019): but Megan, didn’t this just come out? Yes, and it’s my other favorite movie now. I love (almost) every second of this movie. This movie made me feel a way that I thought maybe I might never feel again, after a certain other franchise movie this year took a dump on my heart. I don’t care that we’re never getting a sequel, we got this and that’s enough for me.

Thor (2011): Those of you who have been around awhile know that I really love this movie. I loved it before we all jumped on the Thor train after Ragnarok and I will continue to love it probably my whole life. It just makes me happy.

Aquaman (2018): This is Thor but underwater and with a biracial hero. It made me cry in the theater and I do not want to hear any negative opinions about it, I find them personally wounding.

Belle (2013): The fact that Gugu Mbatha-Raw isn’t a superstar is tragic, and this movie is gorgeous and lovely and made me feel a lot of things as a biracial person.

Mad Max Fury Road (2015): I remember seeing the trailer for this in the theater and going “yikes that looks like a thing I would never watch.” Joke’s on you, past me!!!! I find this a deeply stressful but glorious film that I can only watch like, once or twice a year.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010): I do not need or want to hear about how this movie is Problematic, I know all of its issues, and yet. It brings me joy and it was one of the first movies I saw when I was just starting to break out of my religious upbringing and I laugh until I cry every time I watch it.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015): I am starting to realize that I am not and never really was a Star Wars Fan, which is to say that like...I love this movie specifically, I love the characters, I love the interactions, I love the stuff that happens. I do not so much love Star Wars as a whole? I like it fine! But this movie is the only part of the franchise to really make me go “oh, I get it.”

Professor Marston and the Wonder Women (2017): This was a weird little movie that nobody saw and nobody talked about, but I adore it because it’s so gentle and romantic. I don’t know how accurate it is to history and frankly I do not really care.

Big Hero 6 (2014): are you tired of me mentioning I’m biracial yet? This movie has biracial protagonists and a cute squishy robot and no romance and superhero stuff and I love it so much.

F8: The Fate of the Furious (2017): I went to go see this on a whim with my wife and it was one of the most joyous theater experiences of my life. I don’t know, I just love everything about it.

TV shows:

Community: This only kind of counts because it started in 2009 but I started it mid-s2 so eh. Seasons 1-3 of this show are written on my heart, I can quote a ridiculous amount of dialogue from them and these characters will stay with me forever. Warts and all, this is my show.

Dollhouse: Another technicality but like, I met my wife because we both loved Bennett Halverson so I gotta put this on here. It’s pretty significantly affected my life! Also I find that it holds up fairly well, if you’re down for the admittedly iffy premise and an ending that’s a bit of a mess narratively due to sudden cancellation.

Agents of SHIELD: I would never claim that this show is “good” but I do think that it has mostly figured out what the hell it’s doing. And it has been a pretty significant part of my fandom life for the last 6 years, so to leave it off this list would feel wrong. It gave me Daisy Johnson, first canon biracial superhero as played by a biracial actor, and for that i will always be grateful.

Warehouse 13: I could not tell you why I fell so deeply in love with this dumb, badly written show that shit the bed in the final episode more spectacularly than I could have imagined, and yet I did! I think probably it is because I love found family so much, and also I find goofy camp charming more often than not. And of course, there is Bering and Wells, the femslash ship that fandom forgot. I will never be over how no one knows what we have suffered!!!!!

Runaways: wow was this a surprise! The Runaways comic is my favorite comic besides Marjorie Liu’s X-23 run, and this show has basically nothing to do with it, and normally that would piss me off but they got my kids’ personalities down so well and all of the actors are so perfect that I really can’t complain. And also, this show has canon f/f and neither of them die at the end! Which is...better than some other shows I could mention!

Doctor Who series 1 and 5: I had a very intense Doctor Who phase in college, and after all was said and done and I quit the show for a time, I realized that although I love a lot of the characters, and Thirteen’s run is pretty good so far, what I really loved was Nine’s run and Eleven’s first season. That is the show at its best to me. Eccleston is my Doctor and Amy is my favorite companion.

Legends of Tomorrow: Look, I am as shocked as anyone that this, the scrappy underdog of the DCTV lineup, is the one that’s most emotionally competent and has the best character arcs! But here we are. Season 4 was some of my favorite TV I’ve seen, uh, ever.

Albums

Dirty Computer by Janelle Monae: I listened to this for basically a year straight after it came out. It’s just ridiculously good.

Something Fierce by Marian Call: This was my on-repeat album in college. i drew a lot of strength from it, and I think that it’s still the best album to recommend to people who ask me about her.

Standing Stones by Marian Call: I heard most of these songs live at concerts before they were quite done yet, so it was really special to get to hear them all collected together like this. I’m going to get a tattoo with a lyric from one of these songs because no one’s quite been able to put my basic philosophy into words quite like Marian.

Heartthrob by Tegan and Sara: Hot Take, I know, because a lot of people hate this album, but it was so affirming to go out and buy A Lesbian Album from A Lesbian Band in 2013.

The Rent movie soundtrack: I know, I KNOW, but in my defense, my parents got me this for my birthday my first year of college and I needed it so desperately. I can definitely still do “La Vie Boheme” from the beginning and probably most of the other songs too.

In the Heights OBCR: I can only listen to this when I want to cry, but it’s my favorite musical. I got to see the show in 2018 and it was incredible. I think it’s better than Hamilton and I can’t wait for the movie to come out.

Trouble by Natalia Kills: this album is really great and also it says fuck a lot, which I used to be very nervous about hearing or saying, and this helped immensely!

[three-houses-text-files]

byleth/ferdinand

c-s support + paired endings + night of the ball

*i’m a bit iffy on the order of the b and a rank supports here because it implies ferdinand’s b support can’t be unlocked until post-skip, so be mindful of that while reading!

c

Ferdinand: Hello, Professor. May I speak with you? F: You seem to hold Edelgard in high esteem. That is my impression, at least. F: I was just wondering, what do you think of Edelgard? You seem to hold her in high esteem.

>She's a good student.

F: Hm. She is certainly talented. No doubt about that.

F: But I wonder... What is your opinion of me? I am quite talented too, am I not?

>She's got a lot to learn.

F: Well now! That is not what I expected you to say. You clearly have high standards.

F: And what is your opinion of me? I am at least her equal, am I not?

F: Be honest. Do not hold back. Pretend that I am just a regular person, not the scion of a noble house.

>I think you two are evenly matched.

F: Evenly matched?! Me? With her?!

>I don't want to hurt your feelings, but...

F: You think she is better than me?!

F: I was just being modest before. F: Honestly, I have always prided myself on being superior to Edelgard. F: But evidently that is not your perspective. Hmm... F: I suppose there is only one thing to do. I must demonstrate my excellence!

>That's not necessary.

F: Nonsense! You have entirely underestimated my abilities!

>I can't stop you.

F: Precisely! You cannot stop me! I will prove that you have drastically underestimated me.

F: You think I could ignore such a slight upon my honor? Not likely. Come, Professor!

>...

F: We will begin with battle. Edelgard's skills in combat are no match for mine. F: I heard that, just the other day, she defeated a Demonic Beast without assistance. F: Well, anything Edelgard can do, I can do better—and in half the time! F: Professor, you can be my eyewitness and timekeeper. F: Here we go! F: Two at once? That's... Well, it will be fine. F: Argh! I can't do it! F: It seems you have saved my life. I... Thank you, Professor.

——————————————————————————————

b

F: Hah! Haagh! Take that! Yaa! F: Aaargh!

>You're fighting more intensely than usual.

F: Yes. I am in a hurry.

>What's up?

F: Oh, you know. There is always something. It never ends.

F: Lately I have been feeling uneasy. Impatient. F: Edelgard claims victory after victory. She never stops. F: Five years ago, she ascended the throne and swept away the corrupt nobles. My father included. F: I always thought I would be the one to unseat him. But she did it instead—with all the ease and indifference of someone cracking an egg. F: She put my father under house arrest. She stripped House Aegir of its power. F: Rather than accepting a role as her puppet, I left. Now I fight to topple the Empire. (other) F: Now, as the head of House Aegir, I serve Edelgard. I have to accept that I am her subordinate, working beneath her to reunify Fódlan. (black eagles route) F: The disparity between Edelgard and myself is...obvious. F: She never stops moving forward. Single-minded. Never wavering. F: But where does that leave me? Here, flailing about, going nowhere, contributing nothing...

>That's not true.

F: But it is! That is the reality. F: Not once, since our days at the academy, have I exceeded Edelgard's abilities. F: I saw her as a worthy opponent. She did not even see me as a contender. She did not even consider me at all. F: Perhaps my standing now is a little better than it was. But I am still playing second fiddle. F: As the head of the noble House Aegir, I must be able to achieve results. F: But all my efforts have come to nothing. F: Results are everything. I have not shown results, so I will be stagnating here forever.

>But you have achieved results!

F: I appreciate your kind words, but you are wrong.

>It's the journey, not the destination.

F: I appreciate that, but it is not enough to persuade me.

F: I know that I have a massive wall to climb, and I must climb it alone. F: Even so...may I ask a favor?

>Yes?

F: Professor, please keep an eye on my progress. F: I would appreciate if you were always by my side, bearing witness to my accomplishments.

——————————————————————————————

a

F: Hmm. What an interesting way of looking at life. F: Ah, it is you! Just at the right time.

>You're working late.

F: Oh, is it nighttime already? I must have gotten carried away.

>The right time?

F: There is something I wanted to discuss. F: Something about you... F: I am starting to believe that you are a true hero. F: You hold the lost Crest, you wield the Sword of the Creator, and you lead everyone in battle against great enemies. F: Not only that, but you are a strategist. F: You stand alongside rulers, supporting them, advising them. F: You give everyone direction, so they know what needs to be done. F: You do not seem particularly ambitious. And yet, you accomplish so much.

>That's high praise.

F: I am not exaggerating. Everything I said is true.

>That's true. I'm not ambitious.

F: I am amazed that you can say so.

F: I have been reading about the history of Faerghus, you know. F: The Kingdom's founder, Loog, the "King of Lions," had two advisors. F: One of them was Pan, the "undesiring strategist." F: According to historical records, Pan wanted nothing for himself. He devoted himself entirely to Loog. F: He had tremendous power, but he never seemed concerned about his legacy. F: So, in the old chronicles, there is hardly any mention of Pan's deeds. F: All that we know is that he helped Loog, his friend and leader. F: To think, someone could be so virtuous.

>I've never heard of Pan.

F: It is not surprising that you have never heard of him. I did not even know his name until recently. F: But when I watch how you conduct yourself, I feel that I am seeing the unknown deeds of Pan. F: It is only a thought, of course, but it makes me feel rather happy. F: Even if it is not in the pages of a history book, a life can be full of achievement! F: I know that I will never be greater than Edelgard. She will always surpass me. F: I know that I will never prevail over Edelgard. Even if I defeat her on the battlefield... F: I am what I am. F: Like you and this "undesiring strategist." F: I will do what I'm called to do, even if no mark of me remains in the history books.

——————————————————————————————

s

F: It has been a long, hard road. Would you agree?

>No, not really.

F: Haha! You cannot humor me even a little?

>It certainly has.

F: Perhaps we can agree that every long road comes to an end.

F: Every long road comes to an end. F: That is when friends who have walked together must go their separate ways. F: You will guide Fódlan. I will return to my rightful position as Duke Aegir. (black eagles route) F: You will guide Fódlan. I will return to my position as Duke Aegir. (other) F: Life will go on. It must.

>So it seems.

F: I once asked something of you. F: I asked you to bear witness to my achievements. F: But even if I achieve nothing and there is nothing left of me after I am gone... F: I still want you to see me.

>What do you mean?

F: I mean that I want you to be my wife! F: I need you as much as I need my next breath. More, perhaps. F: I hope that you need me too.

>I understand.

F: That is it? F: You hear noble Ferdinand von Aegir declare his love for you, and all you say is "I understand"? F: This is torture! Please, if you are going to refuse my proposal, simply tell me.

>Need isn't a strong enough word.

F: I am not sure I understand...

>I love you, Ferdinand.

F: You do? Does that mean...

>Let's get married!

F: Really?! F: Ah, my head is ringing with pure joy! Like a thousand bells! F: It is even greater than the joy of victory in battle. It is victory in life itself!

>...

F: Ahem. Apologies. I got a little carried away there. F: I am shaking... I cannot control it. F: It would be no exaggeration to say that my whole life, everything I have done, has led me to this moment. F: I am overjoyed! Oh dear, I might faint...

>I'm happy too.

F: Give me a minute or two to regain my balance before you say anything too fantastic...

>You look pretty unsteady.

F: Who me? Not at all! I am better now. Really.

F: Imagine, making our way through life, side by side. The whole world has taken on a rosy hue. F: Ah, it is no use. I cannot stay upright. Please, let me lean on your shoulder. F: That is better. We are as close as can be. F: From now on, we will lean on each other. Thank you, my love.

——————————————————————————————

paired endings

After ascending to the throne as the first leader of the United Kingdom of Fódlan, Byleth announced her marriage to Ferdinand, who had assumed his inherited position as Duke Aegir. Ferdinand overcame a slew of obstacles to reform his territory and that of House Hrym. He chose not to accept an official position in service to Byleth, instead advising her only informally as a spouse. History books extol Ferdinand's success as a lord of his territories, but make no mention of his marriage. Thus, half of his life's work is lost to time. (golden deer + church route)

After taking her place as the new archbishop of the Church of Seiros, Byleth announced her marriage to Ferdinand, who had assumed his place as Duke Aegir. The archbishop's husband overcame a slew of obstacles to reform his family's territory and Hrym but took no official position with the church, providing only guidance and support in his capacity as a loving spouse. History books extol Ferdinand's success as a lord of his territories, but they make no mention of his marriage to the archbishop. Thus, half of his life's work is lost to time. (blue lions route)

Byleth and Ferdinand celebrated their marriage with a lavish wedding, but almost immediately afterward, the battle with those who slither in the dark began in earnest. After being named Duke Aegir, Ferdinand overcame a slew of obstacles to help House Hrym and his family's territory recover. At the same time, he fought alongside his spouse for a true, lasting peace in Fódlan. History books extol Ferdinand's success as a lord of his territories, but they do not make mention of the hard-fought battles he endured alongside his wife. Thus, half of his life's work is lost to time. (black eagles route)

——————————————————————————————

night of the ball

F: Hello, Professor. F: I just needed a quick break from the festivities. Fancy running into you here.

>You followed me, didn't you?

F: I beg your pardon?! Absolutely not! It is simply a coincidence.

F: The heir to the great house of Aegir, chasing after a woman in the dead of night! The very thought of it!

>What a nice coincidence.

F: Yes, a coincidence...

F: Anyway, seeing you here, I cannot help but recall the legend of the Goddess Tower. F: It is said that when a man and a woman meet here by chance on the night of the ball, their paths become one. F: The goddess blesses them and ensures a harmonious union.

>I heard it differently.

F: Oh, you heard the legend too? How was it different?

>That the goddess is sure to grant any promises made here?

F: Ah, perhaps that is how it goes, come to think of it.

>Are you sure that's the legend?

F: Indeed, that is how it goes. Or at least, that is the version I heard.

F: How long have we known each other now? About nine months, by my count. F: The passage of time is swift indeed. F: Listen. I need to tell you something. F: After I graduate, I must pass stern judgment on my father. F: His greed got the better of him. He has strayed far from the righteous path. F: As the next Duke Aegir, I will succeed him as prime minister, and it will fall to me to hold him accountable. F: Only then can I justly guide the Empire's subjects and work to create a better world. F: That is my dream, my will, and my future. F: I pray that I will have the courage to fulfill my solemn duty and that I will have your support.

>Of course. I'm with you.

>I'm always happy to listen.

F: Thank you. F: Knowing that you are on my side, I feel unstoppable. F: Yes... I really only wished for someone to hear me out. I chose you for that honor. F: Well, shall we head back? F: Plenty of people must be wondering where you went. F: Specifically the legions of men who would like to dance with you! F: To be honest, I count myself among them.

[levelrazearts]

Sun and Moon

So, just watched the last episode of the SM series, specifically the subbed cause I was waiting for it to come out so I could write this, making this the 6th fully completed series that I've watched of the pokeani, with XY, OS, Orange Islands, DP, and BW, which is the order that I watched them in cause I am chaos incarnate, but I've got to say, I thoroughly enjoyed every single episode that this series produced, which is a first given how I felt about the previous series, and I'm really glad that I experienced this as it was still continuing and not after the fact. From seeing Alola for the first time to seeing Brock and Misty show up to the Ultra Guardians to the Alolan League, I'm very glad that this series went the way that it went and chose to do things differently than other series did, and that's in part due to how the games had gone so yay. Guess I'll go over some of the highlights now.

Spoilers Below, thoust have been warned.

The characters, my god, the characters really helped this show become an emotional rollercoaster both in joy and sadness.

Ash and Pikachu: The boy and his best friend are back and for the first time is in a mainly non-changing setting, taking a break from traveling while also exploring the Alolan region and all that it all has to offer. His training and experience is still there which was nice to see after XY, and his battling effeciency has definitely improved, with only a couple of loses here and there. Here it's almost as if they're both home, which is what Alola is all about, home and family, which allows them to both grow in ways we haven't seen them grow before. And let me say as someone who is a real big fan of electro ball, electro web is the perfect replacement for it, acting as a defensive move really helped provide some interesting combos in and out of battle, which really helped in the end. And let's not forget, seeing these two finally achieve their dream of winning a League after 22 years, it's a real heart warming moment, especially for those who have grown with this series since day 1 like me (more or less lol). This was a relaxing and reinvigorating journey for them, one they desperately needed and one that they deserved, along with all their accomplishments throughout.

Kukui and Burnet: Sure when Kukui was first introduced, I was a bit iffy on seeing him host Ash and Pikachu as it felt just a little bit weird, but seeing him grow into a father figure for Ash was something that I didn't know I needed, and with the introduction and later marriage of Burnet, it was also a great family relationship between everyone that we hadn't really gotten to see Ash experience due to his absent father and considerable amount of time away from his mother, and to see that just about every other character in the series acknowledge that Ash was a lot like Kukui was really heartwarming, even from people such as Guzma and Nanu. I hope we get to see more of these two and their family to-be in the new series.

Ash's Pokemon: I'm putting this all as one cause really, they were all great and this is the best way to say it, they were his closest 'Mons to date, with Ash putting as much love and care into their training as possible, and the results were a strong and reliable team that were also family. With Rowlet, it was a bond of listening and acceptance, wanting to stay as a basic evolution so he could stay in Ash's bag and sleep, Rockruff having a found a forever home and someone who helped to push him further with his limits and later his troubles in battling, Kitten finding trust again as well as someone with love forever, and being able to evolve due to that love and determination, Piople in a promise to return home, gaining a second home and family, and Meltan finding his place in the world, a best friend in Rolwet, and evolving to Melmetal, pushing as hard as he can for those he love. It really was/is everyone at their best and true-est. You also have the family pets with this setup in a bird, dog, and cat with a beautiful purple birb and metal protector. Seeing them stay in Alola, as much as it hurts, I think is the right choice for Ash to have made, for they're as much of a family to the professors as Ash was, and will continue to be, and I love that.

Kiawe: THIS FIRE BOY IS MY FAVORITE. I can not express how much this character has grown on me, especially within just the first season. At first, I thought he was going to be the serious-stick to the rules kinda guy, and I'm not a big fan of those, but then he started to lighten up, episode by episode, and then came the Dugtrio episode, and from there on out, he was my favorite. He's just written really well, super funny especially with his expressions, and overall a lot like Ash, but more focused on responsibilities. Not to mention, he's loyal to everyone, as seen in the Tapu Fini arc, which is one of my favorite episodes/arcs. All of his Pokemon were great too, Turtanator especially, as much as I love both his Marowak and Charizard, I feel that Turtanator was his best, in both personality and relationship wise, not to mention he was just to cute. Seeing him working on becoming an Island Kahuna is really befitting of his character as he greatly respects traditions and is the perfect role model for any youngin looking to be a challenger or trainer.

Lillie and family: So much growth, and so much more to go I feel, Lillie was a real great character to add in and I'm so glad that they went in a different direction than what the game had held and her overall arch from being someone who was afraid to touch a Pokemon, to now wanting to set off to find her father, truely a beautiful story, and her mother and brother also were great characters in their own right, as both supportive and riverly and both fueling her desire to become better than before, it's great to see the theme of family carry over into what is the supporting cast, making them feel more important than ever and I love it. Her relationship with her Vulpix (Snowy) was really touching and watching them both grow was more so. And seeing her be able to reunite with Magearna and by extension, her father through memory was so heartbreaking, I really hope we get to see the conclusion to their trip. As for Lusamine, I'm again, really glad they went a different route with her, making her a caring yet grieving mother instead of a careless one, and she was a definite highlight whenever on screen. And Gladion was just as much so, seeing him loosen up throughout the series was a blessing and reuniting with his father's Zoroark was just as heartbreaking, but seeing him in the semi-finals of the league, bursting with laughter with Ash at the amount of fun they were having, was really sweet and so in character with who he had become. Again, I really hope we get to see the conclusion to their trip to find Mohn.

Lana: She's the Meme Queen and my second favorite of the cast. Her constant joking contradicts her almost serious tone and allows her to be one of the most humorous of the cast, and I love it. While she didn't have to many arcs throughout the series, she was a strong Battler and fought for what was right no matter the risk, and I like that. Her dedication to making sure everyone was okay and safe while at the same time having fun was a neat touch. Her Poplio was also pretty fun, and seeing it evolve into a Brionne and later Primarima was a great growth to someone who was seen on the lower side of the spectrum in regards to power, and now it holds the spot of one the more powerful Pokemon within the group. And the addition of her Eevee (Sandy) is just heartwarming, and that haircut is to freaking adorable. Time will hopefully tell if it'll evolve or not, and I hope we do see that come to fruition, along with the search for Manaphy. Overall a joy of a character.

Mallow: An aspiring chef while not that much of a goal, was definitely a new direction to go in regards to a menu for both people and Pokemon, but I feel her growth came most in the form of both her Bounsweet and Tapu Fini arc, in how her Bounsweet evolved to help their friends, which is derived from her wanting to help others as much as possible, which I find to be perfect. And the Tapu Fini arc, well I guess it's more of an episode, really explores the trauma that she faced when she lost her mother and her regrets of having said things that shouldn't be said, and later gratitude for her mother leading to a Shamin appearing before her was really one of the most heartbreaking parts of this whole series, and even in writing this I was beginning to tear up. And while Shamin has now left, I do think it's message has remained in that one should be grateful for all that is now in the moment instead of grieving on the past forever, to make amends were possible, and to look to better the future, hence the Human/Pokemon menu/resutsrant she's hoping to bring to life. A great amount of growth in such a short time, this is a goal again I hope we get to see sometime in the future, as she's the only one to stay in Alola (unless Kiawe is as well which not to sure on that).

Sophocles: Easily the most panicked of the group, it was great to see him find his footing whenever he could and stand his ground, and improve his battling skills, which was really a testament to just how smart he his. Little by little, he has grown into a stronger and braver person and I love that. His Togedemaru was also the funniest Pokemon throughout the whole series next to Turtanator I think, and seeing him grow with his Chargabug and later Vikavolt was really something special. Becoming an Astronaut is also something that his growth has led him to be able to do, as the journey to space requires a lot of training to become stronger to overcome the effects of zero-g and as well as bravery to venture out that far, and just like with everyone else, fits him perfectly. And as much anxiety as he has, he's always been able to overcome it, be it with the help of his Pokemon or his friends, it's really admirable. What's more to say about him? He's going to achieve great things just like Clermont before him I believe.

Team Rocket Gang: I think this is the most that I've liked them in a long time, mainly due to them not causing as much trouble as before, and that's thanks to Bewear, who was able to change them into less-troublesome people and I hope we see that carry over into the new series, and eventually see them leave TR for good to start their own lives for better and worse. Mimikyu and Mareanie were also great highlights in both their personalities and abilities, and seeing them be left behind with Bewear and Stuffle feels right even though it hurts just as much. I will certainly miss bear mom.

Rotom-Dex: A character I initially didn't like, turned out to have grown on me, and I'm glad he was there, as he was like a brother to Ash in a sense, and was a bit of comic relief at times, a I enjoy him a lot more than his debut which is good. I'm sad to see him go as I was hoping that was him in the SwiSh promo images, but who knows, maybe it is. I would certainly hope to see him again in the future. As for now, him mapping out a new land is a good fit for him, and he deserves his job.

Honorable mentions

Hau: His voice is perfect. His desire to become better is pure, and while untrained, he's got a lot of potential for sure. I really hope we get to see him again

Guzma: A perfect antagonist, who only appeared in like what, 10 episodes? but I wish we had more of him to be able to grow with, cause there's potential there for it. Here's hoping that we get a more informative conclusion to him in the future.

The stories: From being in a school, to saving a second reality, this has got to be one of the best written series for Pokemon. Starting off in a primary location and slowly visiting each and every other island was a new approach and I'm glad that it was done as such, cause again it greatly highlights the familial aspects of it all, and how much Alola means to the people and Pokemon that inhabit it. If I had to choose my favorite arc, it would probably be the Tapu Fini arc (Poni Island arc, as I'm now remembering what it's actually called) as it greatly highlights all of the characters and allows them to grow in their own, as well as mess with our emotions and I'm all about being forced to cry. That, and the Alolan League Arc, it's just so rewarding to see Kukui's dream come true, and as a result to see one of Ash and Pikachu's biggest dreams come true, not to mention that Pikachu vs Tapu Koko battle is so beautifully animated. Seeing this class become closer and closer was truely something that Pokemon hadn't tried as hard to do before, and I'm really glad they were able to do it here. And again, by changing the format of traveling to staying mainly stationary, you get a sense of home with Kukui's house as resting place, the Pokemon School as a daily experience, the city as a whole as a part of something close. Again, it's something Pokemon was missing and again, I'm glad they were able to do it right by this. If there were any negatives that I had, I guess it would have to be A. The promotional material for when this was first starting up didn't do it justice, as it put me off from watching this, and I hate that, cause this is all great. B. Would have to be that we weren't able to see any of Ash's previous companions return like Brock and Misty or even experience their reactions to Ash finally becoming a Regional Champion, but hopefully we'll be able to see that with this new series.

The animation: OH MY GOD IT'S THE BEST. This is some of the best that the series has ever produced and I'll be hard pressed to say I don't think it can ever be topped. Especially with the final league battle, Pikachu vs Tapu Koko, seriously one of the best fights ever. There are also so many hilarious facial features that this art style was able to pull off and I thank the people responsible for that because I still get a lot of good laughs from them, I really don't think any of it could have been pulled off with the BW/XY art style, as much as I love that one, I feel that this is truely superior.

Z-moves: I was wondering how this would be handled as in the games, the z-crystal acts as a held item for the Pokemon, and it seems to not be the case here, as shown with Rowlet and his Everstone, which I like, along with that as epic as the move name appearing on screen whenever the z-moves is performed, I do like it not being there in the dub. Also seeing that only one z-moves can be performed unless with assistance from the Tapu's was a nice touch too. As far as favorite z-moves goes, it has to be either Gaurdian of Alola, or 10,000,000 Volt Thunderbolt, my gosh those two are so beautiful looking and good and just seeing them clash was aaaaaaah, the best thing ever. I hope they can treat Dynamaxing right just as they did Z-moves.

Overall: This is my favorite Poke series to date, topping out the previous holder of XY, with how much love and attention was put into it, the overall result is one that anyone can jump into and instantly fall in love with. I highly recommend this series to any and everyone, it's just that good. I also recommend listening to the Japanese songs cause they kick ass so much omg. Like, Type: Wild, is my jam right now omg. A perfect 100 across the board. Really sad it came to an end, but grateful that it happened. Here's to SwiSh, hope you can be just as good.

[parrishes-writes]

smutty alphabet: genevieve

Smutty alphabet for my main OC, Genevieve. @ocelotsflatass I had to do this because I was FILLED WITH A MIGHTY NEED

Answers under the cut! 

A - Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) Depends on the kind of sex that was had. If it’s pretty... normal, for lack of a better word, she’ll probably just... rest or curl up next to you, or doze off lightly. If it’s... intense, she’ll clean you up, ask you what you need, and cuddle with you--she’ll bring you food, put on your favorite movie, show, read you your favorite book, whatever helps you decompress and unwind. If she’s the one who needs aftercare, it usually consists of cleaning her up, taking a nap with her, showering, and then some of her favorite food + something stupid to watch. 

B - Body Part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) Viv is, on the whole, very pretty, but her favorite body part of her own are her eyes. They’re highly expressive and a very dark blue, which makes them stand out, because she’s overall pretty fair-skinned. 

As for her partner... it depends on the partner. Viv is bisexual and her preferences change depending on the person, so... for a woman, it’s primarily her face, but their whole body is appreciated, and Viv will make damn sure her female partner knows it. On a man, Viv likes good bone structure and height. Long hair and beards are not required, but are a definite bonus. Was into lumberjacks before they were cool. 

C - Cum (anything to do with cum) Not a huge fan of men finishing on her face or chest, especially if they don’t clear it with her beforehand, but doesn’t really mind them finishing inside her (protection will be used) or in her mouth. For women, if you squirt, she’ll be a) impressed, and b) turned on. Unless your relationship is legitimately serious, if you’re a dude, condom stays on, no exceptions. Viv will 100% ask you about your STD history, even if it kills the mood. 

As for Viv herself... she can squirt, but it’s rare, and it usually only happens when she’s purposefully being overstimulated. 

D - Dirty Secret Viv has a few kinks that she’s a little embarrassed by, not because they’re gross, but because they kind of go against the image she presents to the world, and she feels like she’d have to turn in some of her feminist street cred. 

E - Experienced (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) Viv has had multiple partners over the course of her sexual history, and she made it her business to learn from each one. Although she considers the concept of being “good” or “bad” in bed to be somewhat arbitrary, and not the point of sexual intimacy... she’s good in bed, and knows what she’s doing. She’s very receptive to you and your wants and needs--sex is one of the few places where she’s good at taking directions from another person. 

F - Favorite Position Cowgirl, or any position where she’s on top, really. She can get a little iffy about missionary because it can quickly start to feel claustrophobic or smothering, but for the most part she just likes to be in charge, watching her partner as she rides them, uses her fingers...

Strangely enough, though, she actually quite likes getting it from behind, and it’s one of her deepest darkest secrets. There’s a part of her that likes to be at a... disadvantage, shall we say, but it does take a lot of trust for her to be able to get to this point with a partner. It’s also a position that feels good for her and hits all the right spots, but depending on the size of the dick/penetrating object, she might not prefer to start off this way. 

G - Goofy (are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.?)

Normally she’s pretty serious, because Viv only likes to play games when the right mood strikes her, and when that mood does hit it’s always to the... frustration... of her partner. It’s a sign of how far she’s progressed with a significant other that she can chuckle or laugh when they’re in the heat of the moment. 

H - Hot Spots (a place that drives them crazy when touched) Her butt and her hips are particularly sensitive, as is her lower back. Using your nails to scrape ever-so-lightly down her ass is a surefire way to get her to shiver. Her neck is also a go-to area. Nipping it is a good way to get her hot and bothered. 

I - Intimacy (how are they in the moment, romantically?) It depends on how emotionally intimate she is with the partner. Viv does not frequently engage in casual sex, but has done so in the past--those encounters were not what she would call romantic or intimate. Expect a lot of deep, slow kisses and lingering touches if she’s truly into you. 

J - Jack Off (masturbation headcanon) Doesn’t have a problem with doing so while single, but isn’t necessarily inclined to masturbate if she’s in a relationship with someone... unless it’s on purpose. Then it’s a whole other story. 

K - Kink (one or more of their kinks) She doesn’t like to go full dom/sub, but Viv is more than happy to either be in charge of you or, depending on the person, have you take charge of her--she does have a bit of a thing for being bossed around. If she really trusts you, she’d be willing to have you tie her up or blindfold her, and do the same to you. 

Some of her other kinks are edging/orgasm delay, overstimulation, hair pulling, biting, holding her in one position/controlling her movements, a little bit of voyeurism and exhibitionism... 

L - Location (favorite place to do the do) Genevieve isn’t picky. She’ll get it on with you wherever, as long as you’re not interrupted, because she does hate it when that happens. Viv will absolutely start riding you on the sofa, stretch out on the bed, or go along with you if you want to bend her over the kitchen table. She’s down. 

M - Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going?) Letting you be you is usually enough for her, but watching you do something you’re good at or passionate about can get her up and running. Seeing you get really into something is a turn-on, especially if you’re kind of mad, or want to fight (somebody else, not her). For Viv herself, being stressed or anxious can make her instigate a sexual encounter--pounding the bad feelings out of her usually works for a bit. 

N - No (something they won’t do, turn offs) Keep your excrement far, far away from her. She’s not a fan of rape fantasies or roleplays, and will not do them under any circumstances, even dubcon. Viv doesn’t like being hit during sex aside from maybe some light and/or brief spanking and, unless agreed upon prior, she will not consent to being hit with an implement. Lactation kinks are a hard no. Also, don’t ask her to do dd/lg stuff, because it’s gross. Professor/student, however, is on the table, so to speak. 

General turn offs? Rudeness, derogatory language that is out of line or out of place for the situation, switching things up without asking or telling her. She’s usually pretty okay with most stuff a partner might ask, but don’t just flip her over and start calling her a whore, or talking about her holes (yuck), because it won’t fly. Try to at least be present with her, because she hates to feel like she’s just being fucked. Sex should involve mutuality. 

O - Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) Viv will gladly give you oral, and will absolutely delight in making you delirious with pleasure, but she does have a slight preference for receiving oral from her partner. 

It doesn’t mean that she won’t return the favor to the best of her considerable skill, but something about the sight of your head between her thighs, especially if she’s on her back, just makes her ache and melt. If you’re using your mouth to edge her or overstimulate her, you can bet she’s going to go off like a rocket when you finally let her come.

If she’s giving you oral, pull her hair close to the scalp. Don’t yank, but definitely tug it, run your fingers through it. She loves that. Run your finger over her lips. She loves that too. 

P - Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual?) She’ll do either; it depends on the round at hand. She can lean towards fast, though not necessarily rough, because she can get needy and impatient. Viv recognizes the perks of a measured pace, but it’ll be up to her partner to enforce it because Viv will just go for it, if she’s not making a deliberate point out of the slowness in order to tease her partner. 

Q - Quickie (their opinion on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc) Not necessarily opposed, but she would prefer to be able to take her time. Quickies have their uses, but... overall, meh. 

R - Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks, etc?)  For Viv, the only risks that she won’t take are ones that could seriously jeopardize either her job or her sense of security--sex at work, for example, is not happening, even though the risk is what makes it fun. Certain roleplays are off limits because they make her nervous or she finds them gross, even if trust is a key component of them; they’re still not happening. She’s pretty open to try new things, but it takes a while to get to that point, because she has to really trust that a partner will respect her limits and boundaries. 

S - Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)  Viv can go for quite a few rounds, but her stamina is that of a normal human’s compared to, say, Dante’s. She comes quickly, but also recovers quickly, which are the primary two reasons why edging and overstimulation are two of her kinks--forcing her to hold off an orgasm or forcing her to come three or four (or more) times in a row sort of equalizes things. 

T - Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or on themselves?) Overall she prefers to use her own body, but she does own toys because sometimes fingers and mouths can’t quite do it all, especially on a same-sex partner. She doesn’t own many, though, and the ones she does own are extremely discreet. 

Viv would absolutely be willing to, and did, use toys on a partner. Her partner also used them on her--she has a preference for vibrators that can stimulate both the clit and the g-spot, and for ones where the partner can control the setting remotely. She’ll sometimes like a plug in her rear, but rarely. 

U - Unfair (how much do they like to tease?) Oh god, she’s the worst. She loves it. She’ll tease you in ways you never even dreamed possible, both in the buildup and the foreplay and the acts themselves, and even when she’s giving you what you want she’s still teasing you. Viv is literally the worst when it comes to teasing, but give her a taste of her own medicine; she’ll love it. She’ll bitch, but she’ll love it. 

V - Volume (how loud are they? what sounds do they make?) For the most part Viv is pretty quiet--Dante, for example, can turn it into a game where the goal is to get her to let loose and moan or scream or cry out with abandon. The quietness is mostly just out of habit, but some partners have taken it as a indicator that she wasn’t enjoying herself, which wasn’t the case at all. 

Viv isn’t a big talker during sex, aside from curses and dirty talk, and doesn’t really like a lot of talking from her partners either--but if she’s really into you she won’t necessarily mind you telling her you love her, or something similar though. Don’t be sappy, though. Calling her “my love” is a surefire to piss her off. 

W - Wild Card  Viv is secretly a little embarrassed because some of her particular likes make her feel like she needs to turn in some of her feminist cred. She has a Type with men--long hair, beard, way larger than her (Dante, coincidentally, hits all those buttons), a bit older--and has a desire that she has consciously chosen not to articulate to be somewhat dominated by a man of said type. She’s bossy and likes to be in charge, but that doesn’t change the fact that she secretly kind of wants her male partner to be in control some of the time. 

X - X-Ray (what’s going on underneath those clothes) A slender, rather petite frame, but still adequately curvy. Viv actively tries to keep herself in shape and exercises, even though just running around during the day tires her out; she makes it a point to eat well. She doesn’t have a huge chest, but chest size is relative to frame, and her boobs can stick out a bit. Her butt is also quite nice. She doesn’t have a huge ass, but it’s appropriately perky, and looks amazing in high-waisted jeans. 

Viv’s a little insecure about her hips and thighs, because she thinks she has violin hips (she does, a little bit) and that she has thick thighs compared to the rest of her (not really, her inner thighs are just very soft). But overall she’s beautiful, and any insecurities are just that--insecurities. No one would ever look at her and think she has any reason to feel self-conscious. 

Y - Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)  Average to a bit higher than average--there are times during her cycle where she’s particularly prone to feeling horny, but sometimes she’s just Horny.  

Z - Zzz (how quickly do they fall asleep afterwards?)  Depends on how intense the sex was and how many times she came. The more intense and/or the more orgasms, the more likely she is to fall asleep, but it isn’t unheard of for her to take a quick nap after milder or softer activities. She’ll also sleep if you sleep--sex is a good way to get her to fall asleep, actually. Viv has insomnia? Go down on her. 

[venus-says]

Aikatsu Stars! Episodes 67-75

Am I watching the right season here? XD 

Yes, I'm a mad man and I really watched 9 episodes in such a short time. Now, I had to watch some episodes at double speed since I didn't have all the time of the world to it, but I think I have chosen well in which episodes to speed up so I think I didn't lose anything special. In any case, there's a lot to go through so let's get right into it.

Starting off in episode 67. This is a beach episode, y'all know how I feel about those but aikatsu summer episodes usually don't get under my skin as much as other shows do. In fact, this episode was very fun to watch, the setting Yuzu came up with for her premiere was actually pretty interesting and seeing the girls trying to find the treasure was very enjoyable. Seeing the old S4 together again was also another plus, and Yuzu's performance was a perfect crowning for this entire experience. We also got the first mention to the real goal of the season that is getting the sun dresses, which is something I have a problem with but I'll talk when it's the time for it.

The next is a filler episode about the girls studying and doing proficiency exams for Venus Ark and I don't really have anything to say about it, it was fun but there wasn't anything special to it. Though it was quite weird to see Yume referencing the pen pineapple apple pen song in her interview and I feel like that is something worthy of notice. XD Also, did they changed the CG for Forever Dream once again or it was just my eyes fooling me? 

Coming up next are the Aikatsu crossover episodes! Episode 69 had focus in connecting with Akari's gen while 70 focused on Ichigo's crew. And I've gotta say I was kinda disappointed? Like, not that the episodes were bad but I expected more from it. I always had in mind that this would be a bigger deal, that it would be more impactful, but that wasn't the case. Yes, the interactions between the girls were pretty fun and all, but outside of the old S4 and Soleil's performances, there wasn't anything that I would call "special". I think it just goes to show how both series are still very similar despite the HUGE differences between them. I really expected to have more to say about these episodes but that's actually just it. (Venus from the future here. I forgot to say that I also don’t like how they don’t know of each other’s existence when this episode takes place at least after the ending of season 3 and Ichigo has become a top idol. Also, how does Aoi, the idol professor, don’t know who Yume, Rola, and Koharu are? there’s a lot of things in these episodes that don’t make sense and made me feel kinda iffy about them too)

Episode 71 marks Venus Ark's momentarily departure and Koharu's comeback to Four Stars. And once again, I expected this to be a bigger event and everything, but everything was actually pretty simple and kinda underwhelming. This episode had a side plot with Kirara being left behind, but I really couldn't care for it. The repeated performance here also didn't help this episode and made me enjoy it a little less. But seeing Koharu and Yozora together again was good enough for me. XD We also have more goals being set here and these seem more interesting to me rather than the sun dress thing so I can say I'm pumped.

We get another mini-arc with episodes 72 and 73 as we follow Rainbow Berry Parfait's creation. Which to me was kinda weird? Like, the part of Koharu wanting to design for Yume is something very easy to understand and all, in fact, episode 72 does a very good build-up to this moment, despite using the very old trope of not letting a character finish want they want to say and all. But why did they had to change the name of the brand? And why did they chose such a ridiculously long name for it? Idk, maybe I'm just salty because I like regular Berry Parfait better than RBP, but the whole episode 73 bugged me and it seemed like they were using a very cheap way to make the plot move on. Regardless, it's a step towards Koharu's dream, and if Koharu is happy then I'm also happy. 

Episode 74 is the one that sets up both Ako and Kirara as FuwaFuwa Dream muses. This was a very simple episode, but very effective at that, they sold very well the idea of Ako and Kirara being a team and they worked very well despite Ako being difficult to work with at first. The duet version of Onegai Merry is the inferior version, but it was nice to watch. I don't really get why they didn't give Ako a PR since now she's a muse too, but I guess this is what happens when you set up your world so tightly that you end up being bound by your own established rules. Oh well, this was still pretty good regardless. ^^ 

And to wrap up we have episode 75. I expected this episode to explore the Kasumi family, but instead, we got another look at Mahiru's loneliness. And it was a good episode, it had those moments that made me feel warm and everything, but I can't deny that I wish this episode was focused only on Mahiru and her family and that the development of the episode had happened only with them and not dependant of the other girls appearing here. But that's just me, and, in the end, this episode was pretty soothing. I don't know if it was enough as closing for the first half of the season, but it was good and I can't deny that. 

I'VE DONE IT! I CAN'T BELIEVE I REALLY DONE IT! I'm really an insane bitch. XD Well it's already way too late so I won't give a huge closing statement. See you guys tomorrow~

[ruminativerabbi]

Eurovision 2019

To say that the annual Eurovision Song Contest has not been a big part of my life is really almost to say nothing at all. Obviously I had heard of it before last year when Netta Barzilai won the contest for Israel with her slightly bizarre but extremely catchy hit song, “Toy”? (The bizarre part has to do with her mimicking a chicken in the course of the number. But she was a very engaging chicken and the voters loved it, and I did too! To take it all in, click here.) For one thing, I was still at JTS the year that Israel won for the first time with Izhar Cohen and the Alphabeta’s performance of Nurit Hirsch and Ehud Manor’s song “A-Ba-Ni-Bi” (click here) and remember loving the song and feeling very proud of Israel for winning. And I was only one year older when Israel then pulled off the remarkable feat of winning for a second consecutive year in 1979 with Kobi Oshrat and Shimrit Orr’s song, “Hallelujah,” performed by Gali Atari and the musical group Milk and Honey (click here). It then took almost twenty years for Israel to win again, taking the prize in 1998 with Dana International’s truly remarkable rendition of Tzvika Pick and Yoav Ginai’s song, “Diva.” (Click here and you’ll see what I mean.) And then, twenty years later still, Netta took the prize again last year.

The general principle is that the contest is held in the country of the previous year’s winner and there have only been a handful of exceptions, mostly connected with the winner’s country not wanting to shoulder the expenses involved in hosting the contest. (In 1980, when the contest should have been in Israel for the second year in a row, Israel declined to host the contest because its date fell on Yom Hazikaron and it seemed impossible to contemplate to hold a contest like Eurovision on a day of national mourning for the fallen servicemen and women of the IDF.) But that was then, and Netta’s win last year meant that this year’s contest would be held in Israel, which is exactly what has been going on this last week.

It’s been a wild time with missiles from Gaza aimed at civilian targets clearly meant to discourage people from coming to Israel to attend or participate in the contest. There have been endless efforts by anti-Israel groups of all sorts to condemn the participants for coming to Israel and adding their name to a contest that will surely bring Israel international prestige. And yet there are forty-one countries participating in Tel Aviv. The semi-finals were on Tuesday and Thursday; the finals featuring singers from Greece, Belarus, Serbia, Cyprus, Estonia, the Czech Republic, Australia, Iceland, San Marino, and Slovenia are this Saturday night. Will Israel’s Kobi Marimi manage to win the prize for Israel for a second consecutive year with his English-language song, “Home”? I suppose we’ll all find out soon enough, although he’s not favored to win or even to come close to winning. But who knows? The world is full of surprises! (You can decide for yourself what you think. Click here to hear Kobi Marimi sing “Home.”)

More impressive even than Netta’s chicken dance from last year is the fact that no contestants at all pulled out of the contest this year—and that despite the intense pressure that was exerted on some of them not to perform in Israel. The rockets—hundreds of them, some landing less than twenty miles from Tel Aviv—also failed to affect the party. Yes, it’s true that fewer tourists came to attend the contest than Israel had expected. But the bottom line has to be that the contest came to Israel, that it unfolded precisely according to plan, that no one was successfully bullied into backing out, and that Israel felt—for the course of almost a full week—like a regular country among the nations of the world, one that takes its place naturally among the nations who participate in international song competitions like Eurovision, like a contestant state among contestant states…and not as the recipient of such endless hostility from the very nations that should be Israel’s most staunch supporters and allies that we—we who keep track of these things and who truly care about Israel’s future—we barely even notice insults and aggressive statements of the kind that would ignite international storms of outrage if they were directed against any other country at all.

But even though no one withdrew, there was still the lingering irritation regarding the decision specifically not to have Eurovision in Jerusalem despite the fact that the regular practice is always to hold the contest in the capital city of the previous year’s winner’s country. In the past, this hasn’t been an issue: the contest was held in Jerusalem both in 1979 and in 1999. You could say that nothing much has changed since 1999 with respect to Jerusalem: it was the capital of Israel then and it is the capital of Israel now. But that wouldn’t be taking into account the world-wide efforts of the BDS movement and its Israel-hating leadership to delegitimize Israel’s existence and, with particular venom, its natural right to establish its capital wherever it wishes, a right naturally and uncontroversially accorded every other country on earth. It is true that many Eurovision contests have not been held in capital cities—when Germany hosted the contest in 2011 contest, for example, it was held in Düsseldorf rather than Berlin—but these were not political decisions, just ones related to how much money the host city was willing to spend and other venue-related considerations. Only here does it feel certain that political considerations outweighed all others. Yes, it’s true that the European Broadcasting Union, which is the parent company that organizes the Eurovision contest, said publicly that their decision to hold the contest in Tel Aviv rather than Jerusalem was simply a function of Tel Aviv’s “creative and compelling bid.” But, at least as far as I can see, that has convinced basically no one at all. Nor is it at all clear that our own nation’s decision to recognize Jerusalem as the capital of Israel was unrelated to the EBU’s decision and their eagerness not to be seen to be supportive of that move. So there’s that issue too in the mix of emotions I bring to Eurovision this year!

For me personally, the whole scene— this is the rabbi in me talking, not the music fan—the whole scene evokes a set of feelings unrelated to the world of pop music and unrelated, even, to Netta Barzilai. That longing to be one of the nations, after all, is as old as the Jewish people…as is the tension between that longing for normalcy and the sense that Israel—both it is sociological guise as the people Israel and its political one as the State of Israel—has a role to play in the history of the world that is uniquely its own, a role for which it was chosen from among the nations of the world to play in the pageant of human history that is different from the parallel roles assigned other nations and peoples.

Scripture uses the phrase am s’gulah mi-kol ha-amim (“the treasured nation from among all the nations”) three different times to reference the Israelite nation. How that somehow morphed into the much-maligned epithet, the “chosen people,” I’m not entirely sure…but it clearly happened a long time ago: the benedictory formula recited when someone is called to the Torah includes the Hebrew version of that expression and requires that the person coming forward acknowledge God as the one who “chose us from among the nations to grant us the revelation of the Torah.” There was a time when those words were considered entirely normal and not at all chauvinistic or arrogant. But even to me they feel just a bit iffy these days…and I am someone with the greatest respect for the liturgical heritage of the Jewish people.

I suppose I too long for normalcy. I want to see Israel treated like the other nations of the world. I want Israeli athletes to compete freely in whatever tournaments they qualify for, not only those that take place in countries that will grant them visas. I want Israeli professors to be welcome guests in the universities of the world, not to have to negotiate minefields of unwarranted hostility from their own colleagues in academe. I find it beyond problematic that Israel is forced by the United Nations to be part of the Western European Group (delicately renamed in their honor as the Western European and Others Group) rather than welcome to join the Asia Group, membership in which you would think would be naturally awarded to a country that is, after all, in Asia. I hate that Israel is singled out again and again by self-appointed critics who find it offensive for Israel to self-define as a Jewish state but who seem not to care at all about Iran or Pakistan self-defining as Islamic ones.

And so I find myself in a familiar bind, wanting specialness and normalcy, uniqueness and averageness. I want Israel to be seen as a regular nation, as a normal one, as just another member of the family of nations. But I also want to embrace the concept of Jewish destiny, a concept inextricably tied in my mind to the unique role in history that is Israel’s. I suppose we all feel that about ourselves at least to some extent, that we want to be thought of as unique, as special…but somehow also not to stand out unduly or to be perceived as other than regular people living regular lives. I’ve learned over the years how to live with a bit of ambiguity, how to accept that the tension that inheres in every set of incongruent desires does not need to be resolved, how to want two incongruous things and not feel obliged to abandon either merely because it feels impossible to have both. Sometimes—and I say this both on the macrolevel of national identity and on the microlevel of personal individuality—sometimes you just have to choose not to make a choice.

[wintersoldeer]

ok here's some totally incoherent thoughts about endgame that i just have to write down or i might explode spoilers: i loved it also actual spoilers spoilers very spoilery spoilers

1. Steve and the goddddamn mjölnir!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!! when thor, iron man and cap were like 'aw yeahhh we're gonna fight thanos' i was like what the heckie is steve even doing there, supersoldier or not he's just a human. then thor drops his hammer and i’m like oh my gods please literally crossing my fingers. then thor’s fight is not going so well and oh no he definitely needs someone to save him! i’m like ohhhhhmygooddss. and THEN IT FINALLY HAPPENS I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR YEARS HELL YEAHHHHH

2. steve & peggy dance. yes. just yes. fucking finally. i love it. it was perfect i cried

3. clint should’ve died. (finally haha) he was my fave since before the avengers and i was so sure he was going to die back then, but then he didn’t and look what’s became of him since.......... i had a violent flashback to watching age of ultron for the first time and for the first time just hoping that my fave character (that would be clint) would just die, bc they’re screwing his character over so badly........ and most definitely it. should.  not. have. been. natasha. who. died.  that was such a bullshit i mean WHAT THE FUCK????  i mean maybe clint and natasha were the only remaining avengers that actually loved each other (?¿¿????¿¿¿?¿ tho that’s just flimsy, i’m just trying to....idek) and that’s why it had to be them on that stupid fuckin death cliff, but why did natasha have to die?? just because clint had a family (still with no actual characterization, not that i even care, or maybe i would if the movies had given me any reason to...) to return to and she didn’t??that fucking sucks and what sucks even more is that not only was natasha the only character that died (i’m not even counting tony, bc that was very Different) but she’s the only original female avenger AND it’s the same stupd fucking rock that the only original female gotg gamora died in such a bullshit way just last movie??? goddddd i hated that so much like maybe if she hadn’t been the first one to die and all the original avengers would’ve died as was i kinda hoping (tho i love happy endings so i didn’t actually hope that it would happen..), maybe then i would be okay with her being dead. now i am very much not okay, and that means very much not okay in a angry way, not in a sad way

4. speaking of death: to me tony’s was perfect. i might not be the biggest fan of how he always got the most screentime and a bigger role than other characters, but i can’t deny that he definitely is the heart of the whole mcu and it had to be him who saves the day in the end and what else could it have been that a very tony-like self-sacrifice..... god i cried. i loved that he got a funeral (even tho natasha didn’t...) and i loved his funeral with all the people and fricking harley and then the kid saying how much she likes cheeseburgers and the frickin ‘proof that tony stark has a heart’ and sfghkklkghhhh

5. i gasped audibly when i noticed that natasha was wearing the arrow necklace

6. i kinda forgot that vision ever even existed..... in the end i first thought that wanda was talking about pietro and then i was like ok well maybe not maybe she’s talking about tony or something WHICH MAKES NO SENSE LOL i don’t even remember what she actually said, but as was pointed out to me, she was probably talking about vision. who was a thing that existed... whoops

7. ugh i hate brucenat, i really thought we were over that shit already. i also very much disliked that they actually decided to go with professor hulk, but idk w/e i don’t care that much. but natasha’s death sucked tho and the one thing i do not want to see is bruce’s pain or whatever when the movie didn’t even give me the time or reason to actually grieve for her goddd that whole thing was such a bullshit

8. i did not like that thor was treated as a joke most of his screentime........

9. that stevepeggy dance tho. love it. it’ll probably take me at least another seven years to get over it

10. i fricking adored the whole going back in time thing, especially the 2012. the callbacks and the humor really worked for me, the elevator scene straight from cap2 but reversed and hail hydra and steve fighting steve and loki’s expressions when things go wrong and goddhhh i loved it all aaaaaaa, that was the moment when i was like ok i need to see this movie again immediately.... also the fact that their time travel rules were that they were just creating new paths or w/e i guess, and not actually changing what happened to them specifically... good. so many aus

11. that final battle was so perfectly epic

12. tho shouldn’t valkyrie’s (who really just doesn’t have a real name, now does she..) horse have died after being shot haha

13. i loved that clint had the gauntlet for so long, like he’s definitely the Least Qualified Person to keep it safe, why would that be his job, it was amazing

14. i hated natasha’s death with burning passion, but i loved how she and clint fought each other over who gets to throw themselves off that cliff. tho i really hoped that their ‘yeahh we know what we have to do’ would’ve rather meant that they decided to just throw red skull down bc who even knows if it even actually needs love sacrifice or w/e, a soul is a soul is a soul

15. i loved the human jarvis whatever-his-first-name-was cameo and i really need to finally watch/rewatch agent carter

16. i really liked the tony howard scene even if i thought it felt a bit iffy, bc i feel like there’s so much more to unpack w/ those daddy issues.... but maybe that scene means that there is that one universe where howard was actually a good dad. i want to believe that. yeah. (maybe not but let me dream)

17. i like how they totally forgot that sharon carter ever even existed

18. damn that moment when black panther comes through that portal

19. damn that moment when gi ant-man is giant

20. damn that final battle was so epic

21. damn that steve with mjölnir

22. this movie was SO GOOD when it was good and so mehhh when it was bad, and i’m really glad that it was just good enough that i can forgive overlook all of its flaws. (tho i will not forgive what they did to natasha, even if i can mostly ignore it when thinking about how good most of the rest of the movie was) but idk if it would’ve been perfect, maybe i wouldn’t have survived like there’s this One Huge Thing (natasha) that really brings down the movie that otherwise would’ve been just Amazing

23. i don’t know if my heart has ever beaten as fast as when steve finally picks up the hammer. never while watching a movie, at least

24. i love that carol has her short haircut, bc it bothered me so much in cpn marvel that she should not have been able to see anything when her hair was just constantly on her face haha

25. i feel nothing but seething resentment towards clint’s stupid family and that stupid family man role he is stuck with

26. why was natasha’s hair so weird and ugly. why can’t it just be red??

27. clint’s hair was weird and ugly too and i think i have finally kinda given up on mcu!clint (tho he has those small Very Good moments and i cry for what could’ve been.....we could’ve have it aaaaaalllll.... i think i’m going to watch swat (2003) again and still pretend it’s the clint backstory movie i deserve haha, it’s been ages since i’ve seen it idk if it would still work for me, i’m gonna try)

28. i love nebula tho

29. i loved the trip down memory lane! frigga!!!! the way the continuation of the avengers capturing loki just felt so natural and like it probably happened just like that! nebula and rhodey judging quill’s singing and dancing haha yes! everything! just as i was hoping it would be!

30. doesn’t really have anything to do with this movie but: i still firmly believe that coulson never died. i still firmly believe that pietro never died. 

31. falcon cap helll yeah!!

32. i guess i’ll never get my strike team delta movie with clintasha best friends soulmates and with buckynat and the red room.........  goddd there really should’ve been a black widow movie after cap2. like that was The Perfect Spot for a black widow movie, it’s really a crime that there isn’t one, and even if they make a black widow movie now, it’ll definitely be too little too late.

33. like..... a for effort..... for that female heroes girl power.... ughhhh.... scene, i guess, but that. does. not. cut. it. when you have just killed natasha

34. things i really wished they would say in some perfect moments: “hail hydra” “avengers assemble!” “i am iron man”. things they did say in those moments: “hail hydra” “avengers assemble” “i am iron man”, gogssgddd that was perfect (ok i also really did wish steve would’ve said the “i could do this all day” in the fight but couldn’t say bc the movie had just made fun of that.. i’m kinda sad but haha it’s not that big of a deal, maybe if he hadnt said it in civil war which i dont like but well...)

35. haha people are already complaining about the steve going back thing and how it’s definitely not moving on and erasing character development or whatever and HA. i finally got my stevepeggy dance i don’t care about anything else i am so happy!!!!!

36. i am so glad i managed to avoid any spoilers bc i hear that there was some pretty massive ones going around??¿?¿?

37. also: ok from here on out i am not here for any of you negative nancys complaining (probably very reasonable complaints idec) about the movie, god i really wish it was 2012 again

38. in final thoughts: i absolutely loved it and i love that it turns out that i’m apparently still very much marvel trash........ if natasha hadn’t died, especially in such a bullshit way, i would’ve been able to overlook everything else that was kinda meh about the movie and just purely and blindly loved it. i still did love it, a lot, but now there’s that bitter aftertaste.....

ok now, maybe that’s enough rambling and repeating myself....... i’m going to need to see it again asap

//EDIT

39. I FORGOT TO MENTION IT BC I FORGOT ABOUT IT but goooooooooodddd i loved nebula and tony playing that game in the beginning and tony letting nebula win ääääää

[xmanicpanicx]

What it’s REALLY like to major (and master) in Creative Writing

First of all, let me say that this was my own personal experience with a four-year-long B.A. in Creative Writing and subsequent two-year-long M.A. in Creative Writing. This is post is not reflective of everyone else’s experience in the same program or similar programs. Warning: This may sound like a ranty revenge article, but I’m not writing this because I’m bitter. I’m not all that bitter. Just a little bitter, like a splash of vinegar in salad dressing or something. Really, I’m writing this so that anyone who is considering a Creative Writing major can make an even more informed decision, and hopefully this will help them figure out if that path is the right one for them.

I started off with a Bachelor of Arts in English Language, Literature and Creative Writing, and after a semester, I decided to make it a double major with Communication, Media, and Film. I wanted to go into publishing. I held onto that aspiration for a very long time. It had been budding in me since high school.

But as far back as I can remember, I’ve made up stories and wanted to be a writer. Eventually, I got it into my head that if I always spent time working on other people’s writing, I would neglect my own, and I started to feel iffy about going into publishing.

There’s a lot of “advice” from my Creative Writing professors that I am going to challenge in this article, but I think one of the most practical suggestions they’ve ever given me and my peers was to get a job that doesn’t involve a lot of writing.

Not because you won’t be able to find a job doing so. Contrary to popular belief, English majors actually can find jobs after college. Some become technical writers, some go into marketing, some become freelance or ghost writers and editors. The problem is that if you spend your 9-5 being forced to write or edit for someone else, you lose momentum and motivation when you get home. Even if you’re one of those people who think they couldn’t possibly get tired of writing, the fact is that your eyes will be strained from staring at a screen for most of your life and your wrists will develop carpal tunnel syndrome as a result of your incessant typing.

It’s not that you’ll never make any money from the writing you love to do, but you will need a day job, at least for a while. And it is okay to pick something that has nothing to do with writing, something that will make you crave a return to your writing routine at the end of the day or the end of the week.

I understand, though, if you’re really dedicated to your craft and you think that the best way to hone it is to major, and quite possibly get a master’s degree, in Creative Writing. But if you truly are dedicated to your writing, you don’t necessarily have to major in Creative Writing in order to improve it. In my program, people from outside of the department could take the Creative Writing classes if their writing was deemed strong enough. Also, there are plenty of great online resources out there and books about writing that can help you strengthen yours. It can be intimidating to wade through them all, but make no mistake: a Creative Writing major and even a Creative Writing master’s degree won’t cover all your bases.

In my particular undergraduate program, Creative Writing courses started during the second year. We needed to apply with a portfolio showcasing what we believed was our strongest work. Around sixty people would apply, but only twenty would get accepted. Then in the third year, everyone had to apply again, and more people would be eliminated, so we would end up with about sixteen people in class. And then for the fourth year, everyone had to apply yet again, even more were eliminated, and we’d end up with twelve people in the class. By the time I got accepted into the master’s program, there were only six of us. It was kind of like an academic, artsy-fartsy version of “Survivor.”

Everyone was judged anonymously by the committee of Creative Writing profs, based solely on the strength of their portfolios. This sounds ideal, but it’s actually where things got problematic — because “strength,” unfortunately, was a subjective term in this department. We were encouraged to have diverse portfolios, meaning we should try to write in more than one genre. Profs wanted to see both fiction and poetry from everyone, even if some people didn’t want to be poets. Even if some didn’t want to be fiction writers. Creative non-fiction was okay, as well. What wasn’t okay? Genre fiction.

That probably sounds confusing because I just said that we were encouraged to write in a wide range of genres. But not genres within fiction. Literary fiction is what the profs wanted to see. Even after all this time, I’m still not sure I understand what literary fiction is. But I can tell you what it is not. It is not fantasy. It is not sci-fi. It is not romance, chick lit, horror, mystery, or most historical fiction. In other words, aside from the few literary fiction novels and short story collections that win the Pulitzer Prize, it is not popular fiction.

I’ve heard the profs refer to genre or popular fiction in many ways: trash, crap, the kind of thing that you can read while watching TV. One of my profs even said that Nora Roberts wasn’t a real writer. She’s written hundreds of books and has very high ratings from her readers, so what makes her less of a writer than, say, that particular prof I was speaking with?

But this was all stuff that I heard — and silently chafed against — after I had gotten into the very first creative writing class. Because I myself prefer to write popular fiction. I love fantasy. I love contemporary. And I would’ve submitted that stuff in my portfolio if my college boyfriend, who was a year ahead of me in the program, hadn’t warned me that I had to play to the tastes of the professors. What they didn’t like to see: genre fiction, poetry in the same style as Shakespeare’s or Wordsworth’s, and poetry that was left-aligned on the page and had a capital letter at the beginning of each line. What they did like to see: experimental poetry (think e.e. cummings) — HEAVY emphasis on that — short literary fiction, and fragments of literary novels that were strong enough to stand on their own.

Since the professors ran the program, they could ask for whatever they wanted, I guess. But here’s my problem with their preferential methods: as professors of Creative Writing, a term that encompasses almost every genre, their job should be to help students develop whatever kind of writing they’re into. No genre is better or lesser than the others. There are some marvelously-written romance novels out there, while there are some so-called literary novels that are complete disasters. The focus of Creative Writing classes should be to improve writers’ sentence structures, plot holes, character development and dialogue issues, grammatical errors, telling rather than showing, and so on. The focus of Creative Writing classes should not be to create clones of the professors.

And the thing is, I wasn’t alone in wanting to write genre fiction. About half of the people in each class I went through were right there with me. The others, though — the ones who willingly wrote the types of pieces the professors liked — were quite obviously favored. But I guess that was to be expected. What I did not expect was the way the profs, and even fellow students, would sometimes embarrass the people who wrote genre fiction. On top of that, much of their feedback wasn’t helpful.

There was one person in one of my creative writing classes who wanted to write a paranormal romance featuring a broody, mysterious guy. Sure, it’s been done before, but it was what she wanted to write. Instead of helping her improve the story for what it was, the class on the whole tried to make her steer it in a completely different direction. They latched onto a quirk that her protagonist had, something that may have hinted at OCD (I speak as someone with a partial medical diagnosis of OCD). It was just a random detail that she had included, but the rest of the class seemed to think that was the most interesting detail of her story and encouraged her to expand on it. In the subsequent chapter she gave us, the quirks were definitely more flushed out, but it got so far away from the actual point of the story that, to me, the whole thing just seemed like even more of a mess. The class told her what they liked, and she gave it to them, even though it ultimately did nothing to help her. They had their own reading preferences in mind rather than her best interests.

So, knowing that I probably wouldn’t get the type of feedback I needed for the writing I was truly passionate about, I spent years churning out pages that I didn’t care about all that much. I was a faker just to please other people, avoid embarrassment, and get good grades. Normally when you hear of someone “selling out,” it means that they’ve abandoned their style in for the sake of producing something with more mass market appeal. What I truly want to write already does have mass market appeal, but I abandoned that style, and I felt like I had sold out. I shamefully wrote in my preferred genres on the side, in secret. What a waste of time for me and everyone else in my boat, right?

It wasn’t until my M.A. when I took a course on writing children’s literature that I dared to submit a couple things I wanted to or might have wanted to expand into novels someday. My long-time Creative Writing prof gave them the thumbs-up. And one day, she gave me one of the most encouraging compliments I’ve ever received: “I think you’ve got a lot of books in you. Maybe you won’t write a hundred, but I can definitely see you writing thirty or forty.” She did not give compliments out easily, so I knew she meant it. And it was realistic. She didn’t tell me “Yes! Aim for a hundred! You can do it!” Most writers won’t even complete thirty books in their lifetime, so that alone was huge for me to hear.

But I couldn’t help wondering if she would’ve said that to me if, throughout my years in those previous creative writing courses, I had written the stuff I truly wanted to write. Was she encouraging me based on my contributions to the the children’s lit classes, which were closer to my heart? Or was she judging the entire body of my work that she knew of and therefore missing a large part of the picture? I’m afraid to know what she would’ve said about the things I wrote on the side. I have a feeling it would’ve been mean in the most unhelpful of ways.

Yet when these Creative Writing professors (and many students) are asked why they hate genre fiction, they say, “We don’t. It’s fine. It’s just that you don’t need Creative Writing classes to write that kind of thing.” It seemed like a polite way to say that writing for genre fiction doesn’t need to be good; you don’t need to learn anything; those publishers don’t care about quality writing. I thoroughly disagree. I think that the quality of the writing matters across genres. I think characters and plots need to be developed whether you’re writing a mystery novel or a literary novel. People who read genre fiction aren’t stupid. They can recognize poor writing, and to many of them, it matters a lot.

Not every creative writing program out there will have this snobbery, but I have a bad feeling that most of them do.

So here is my advice for anyone looking into a creative writing program for university:

Always do your research thoroughly. Look into the profs’ interests, dare to reach out to the department secretary so they can put you in touch with current students who would be willing to answer your questions, check out the graduates of the program and see if there is anyone you know of whose style you admire. If the professors (or at least some of them) are open to working with your preferred genre and the students don’t feel constrained by arbitrary rules, chances are it’s a decent program. Bonus points if the program has alumni you’re a fan of.

There are specific Creative Writing programs out there in universities for people who want to write genre fiction, if that is your main interest. Look into those.

If you’re considering post-grad education, an M.A. (Master of Arts) is not necessarily the way to go. An M.F.A. (Master of Fine Arts) might be a better option for you. Professors will warn against this one because getting an M.F.A. means you can’t go on to pursue a Ph.D., but if you don’t plan to get a Ph.D., that’s not a problem. M.F.A. programs are usually shorter (a year as opposed to two) and have a more intense focus on the craft than on essays.

Consider pursuing your Creative Writing education independently. There is absolutely no shame in being self-taught. You can also find critique partners and writing groups of people who have the same writing interests as you and who will be able to give you solid feedback on your work because they’ll have a stronger knowledge of the genre than a literary Creative Writing professor will. You have to do the same for them, though.

That’s my spiel. Long-winded, but it needed to be said. If you truly care about your writing, remember to put it first. Don’t invest in a program that won’t invest in you. Happy searching! And while you’re here, tell me, what’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever heard?