#still deciding whether or not to add smut in the future

[lavnderwonu]

So High School | Kim Mingyu

pairing: fiancé!mingyu x pregnant!fem!reader

rating: fluff, mature

genre: non-idol au, slice of life, established relationship

summary: you and your fiancé haven't discussed the idea of you having children, but with your wedding approaching, the idea of starting a family with him has been on your mind.

warnings: please read ALL! contains smut! not much but a little! (!!!) some time skips, reader gets pregnant, planned pregnancy, reader's mom loves mingyu, reader deals with morning sickness (for my fellow emetophobics this may be triggering!), minwon coworkers mentioned, smut warnings: creampie, unprotected sex, multiple rounds mentioned, backshots, fingering.

word count: 3k

AHEM! go listen to so high school by taylor swift (perhaps while you read!)

author's note!: i listened to taylor waaaay too much while i was writing this, as you can probably tell by the title 🫣 what can i say! guilty. my first time writing slice of life au! i had fun lowkey. AGHHH i just love writing cute mingyu esp when it involves future dad mingyu. the song lyrics are meant to be spacers for the time-skips btw! shoutout to @jenoslutie for also supporting my vision with this 💋 muah xo

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I feel so high school every time I look at you, I wanna find you in a crowd just to hide from you...

Mingyu was your dream man in many ways than one. The perfect boy to bring home to your parents, cooked delicious meals for you, and overall made you feel safe. 

You two had been engaged for months now, and wedding planning was well underway, the date set for early into the new year. As if it wasn’t stressful enough, your mom had already started questioning whether the two of you had wanted children, or planned to in the future. The answer was always the same,

“Mom, I don’t know… we haven’t talked about it into a lot of detail… maybe later on…” or “C’mon, we’re still young, Mom!” 

Mingyu didn’t know any of this, and you’d probably never tell him, not wanting him to feel pressured by your badgering mother. You both knew you wanted children eventually, but you never talked that far into the future.

But… you also thought… maybe you would want to have children, if it was with Mingyu. 

Mingyu would be the father to play dress up and makeovers with your daughter, have tea parties with her, or play with faux tools with your son and pretend to fix things, and play with plastic dinosaurs.

You couldn't picture anybody that would be more perfect to do it with than him.

Are you gonna marry, kiss, or kill me? It's just a game, but really I'm bettin' on all three for us two...

Mingyu stands at the kitchen counter, cooking dinner like he usually does, and he usually insists since he gets home a little earlier from work than you do most days. 

You come from the kitchen after changing out of your work clothes to see him chopping garlic as a pot is boiling on the stove. 

“What are you making?”

“Agio e olio,” Mingyu responds, looking up to smile at you briefly. “I know it’s your favorite, and you said you were craving it.”

You smile, coming over to kiss him on the cheek quickly. “Thank you, you make it so good anyway.” You chuckle as he playfully rolls his eyes. 

He tosses the garlic in a pan on the stove, stirring it a little, then adds the pasta to the boiling water.

You decide now is the time to break your silence, and tell him what’s been on your mind lately.

“Gyu,” You speak up. “… I think we should talk about something.” 

“What?” Mingyu’s gaze turns to meet yours, a concerned look on his face, and you immediately want to kiss him and make it go away.

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“I’ve been thinking…” You pause, racking your brain on how to word what you’re about to tell him, also given that you didn’t want to scare him. “What do you think about us… having a baby?” 

You look up at his undeniable surprised expression; after all you did come out of nowhere with that statement.

“I mean, I know we haven’t really discussed it much, and we’re getting married in a few months… but I have been thinking about it a lot, and I want to, we’re at that age-“ You break out into a nervous ramble before he cuts you off.

“I’ve thought about it too. I thought it should be something that we should…you know… talk about.” Mingyu says.

“I don’t want to put any pressure on you, or I guess, on us.” You continue. “I know we’re not married officially yet, and our wedding isn’t until a few more months, but I don’t know, I think I want to.” 

Mingyu turns to you, smiling ear to ear in the adorable happy puppy way he typically does when he’s over the top excited about something. “I know, me too.”

“Does this mean… we’re trying?” You can’t even hide your smile, your cheeks hurt as you attempt to be the least bit nonchalant.

“Yeah… fuck… c’mere.” Mingyu pulls you closer to him, kissing you fervently.

You pull back, releasing his grip from your waist.

“Hey, after dinner,” You smirk, giggling at his eagerness. “You’re gonna burn your garlic.”

“Mingyu… I can’t, fuck-“ You whine, your face nearly buried into the pillow underneath you.

“Yeah you can baby…” Mingyu grunts, his hand slides up your back to push you down even more. “Taking it all like a good girl…”

You nearly collapse as you can barely hold yourself up anymore, and you’re being pushed forward almost to the headboard from the force of him behind you.

“I’m gonna come, ‘gyu.” You cry, your hand trailing down to rub tight circles on your clit, making your thighs tremble as you push yourself closer to the edge. 

“Go on baby…” Mingyu groans, feeling you get tighter around him. “Cum all over my cock like a good girl.”

You cry his name again as he pushes you over the edge, white-knuckling the sheets as he keeps thrusting inside you, almost even harder.

“Fuck…”  He groans as he slows down, stilling before he comes inside you.

He pulls out, watching himself drip out of you briefly as he curses under his breath, before he pushes it back inside you with two fingers, making you whine.

“Sorry, baby…” Mingyu sweetly apologizes.

You flip over on your back, pulling him down to kiss him.

“I wanna go again…” You say against his lips, pushing his sweaty long hair back.

“Really?” He asks sweetly, leaning down to kiss your neck a few times. “Wasn’t too much?”

“Never…”

Truth, dare, spin bottles, You know how to ball, I know Aristotle Brand new, full-throttle, Touch me while your bros play Grand Theft Auto...

The next few weeks were just the usual. Going into work during the day, shopping for the wedding with your sister, … Mingyu practically never leaving you alone, but that you wouldn’t complain about.

“What kind of flowers are you guys doing?” Your sister asks you. The two of you made plans to get coffee, and you guys typically talked about whatever. She always voiced her opinion on your life whether it was boyfriends, career moves, and now: your wedding.

“White lilies; one of my favorites. Mingyu said I could just pick what I wanted, he’s happy with whatever I choose.” You say.

“That’s sweet,” She smiles, stirring her matcha latte. “Even though, he probably doesn’t care.” She chuckles.

“You’re probably right, I think he has other things on his mind other than flowers.” You laugh, only you know what you mean by that. 

You never told her the both of you had been trying to have a baby.

“I’ve always liked him, though, you know that.” She smiles. “If there’s anybody you marry and spend forever with, i'm glad it’s him. He’s just right for you.”

You smile, glancing down as your gaze flickers on your sparkling engagement ring under the coffee shop lights.

You’re definitely glad it’s him.

“Do you mind if we go into the grocery store down the street? I need to just run in and get a few things.” She asks you.

You nod. “Yeah, that’s fine. I could probably use a few things too.” 

“How do you know if a watermelon is a really good one?” She asks you, as the fruit by the entrance catches her eye.

“You’re asking me?” You laugh. “I have no idea, I have heard though if they’re a dark green, it’s too watery.”

“You were always good at picking them, I know Mom used to always say that.” She replies. “Maybe I won’t get one, are they even in season?”

“Probably not, it’s November. Anyway, what did you need here?” You say, grabbing a hand basket for yourself.

“Just usual stuff, yogurt… eggs, oat milk, some strawberries… whatever else I find that I think i need.” She says, placing strawberries and avocados in her cart. Already straying from the list. 

You follow her, bagging up some apples, cucumbers, and brussel sprouts into your basket. 

You’re both wandering down the ice cream aisle, as you’re grabbing whatever pint of peanut butter ice cream you can find, when your sister speaks up.

“Oh! Let’s go to the hygiene section, I need to get some tampons. That time of the month soon.”

You pause, ice cream in hand, suddenly racking your brain trying to remember when the last time your period was. A few weeks ago? Last month? Were you supposed to get it? Were you late?

“Y/n…? What’s wrong? Everything okay?” She asks, seemingly able to read your inner monologue going on in your head. 

“Y-yeah…” You reply, placing the ice cream in your basket, all while your heart is still racing. Was it joy? Nervousness? “It’s just… I can’t remember the last time I had my period…”

I'm watching American Pie with you on a Saturday night Your friends are around, so be quiet, I'm trying to stifle my sighs 'Cause I feel so high school, Every time I look at you...

“I feel bad doing this without him,” You say, staring down at the two blinking pregnancy tests on the counter. “Mingyu should be here…”

“He’ll be home from work soon won’t he? You’ll tell him then. C’mon, he’ll understand, practically sister code for me to be the first one to know.” She replies, checking the time on her phone. 

It’s true, you both always did tell each other everything before you told anybody else. 

“It’s almost time.”

“I can’t look.” You anxiously turn away. “It’s killing me.”

“How did this happen?” She asks. “I mean… not to be nosey….”

“Well we talked about it, and we’ve been kinda… sorta, trying to get pregnant.” 

“What?! How come you didn’t tell me you were?” She exclaims, playfully shoving you.

“We decided to about a little over a month ago. We talked about it, we decided it was something we both wanted,” You start, just as her phone timer goes off, you quickly turn around from the counter. “Oh my god, oh my god, I can’t look.”

“I’ll do it first,” She says, shoving her way in front of you. “Oh my god… y/n…” You can hear the excitement and smile in her voice.

You turn around, facing the two tests.

You see it, “pregnant”, displayed clearly on both.

“Oh my god, I don’t,” You almost stutter, lost for words. “I- I don’t know what to say.”

“Good news?” She asks.

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” You smile, suddenly becoming teary, feeling a bunch of emotions at once. Excitement. Nervousness.  “I just- fuck… I wish Mingyu was here. I didn’t want to find out like this.”

“Relax, you’ll tell him later,” She laughs. “Especially ‘cause I know you won’t be able to keep this from him long.”

“No, you’re absolutely right. There’s no way I’m holding it in.”

And in a blink of a crinkling eye I'm sinking, our fingers entwined Cheeks pink in the twinkling lights Tell me 'bout the first time you saw me...

You spend the evening trying to decide elaborate ways that you’ll tell him. 

Putting a test in a gift bag as a present? Corny.

Hiding it somewhere and letting him find it? Too lame.

You decided to literally just come right out and tell him, especially because you didn’t want to figure out some cliche way of getting it out.

Mingyu comes home from work, greeting you as he walks in the door, adorably kissing your forehead as he wraps his arms around you, perfectly engulfing you.

“How was your day, honey?” He sweetly asks you, genuinely curious as he’s awaiting your answer. 

“It was good actually, I had coffee with my sister, then we went to the grocery store, doesn’t sound like much but we had fun.” You lean up and kiss his lips, smiling.

“But it’s better now that you’re here.” 

Mingyu smiles, kissing you again.

“I’m going to get changed really quick, okay?” Mingyu says.

You jokingly pout. “Aw, but you look so nice in your slacks and button up shirt… at least let me savor it.” You reach up, undoing a few buttons on his shirt.

“Enjoying this?” Mingyu chuckles.

“Yes, very.” You smile.

“Well I was gonna ask you, if you wanted to, Wonwoo and Seungcheol asked if we wanted to go out and get dinner with them, and hang out maybe get some drinks.” He continues, before he starts walking off to your shared bedroom to change, as you follow him. “Wonwoo asked me before I left the office.” 

“I don’t know… maybe?” You reply, hesitating a bit.

Meanwhile your mind works a mile a minute trying to think of how to break this news of yours to him.

“It wouldn’t be until a little later, if that’s better. No rush.” Mingyu says, nonchalantly unbuttoning his shirt and slipping it off. What a distraction. 

He slips on a white t-shirt , and gray sweatpants; his usual after work attire. Suddenly you wonder if whatever you have to tell him is really that important anyway, and you immediately consider just saying “forget it” and fucking him right here in the early hours of the evening. What’d be the big deal? You were already pregnant, anyways.

No! You quickly shake that thought from your mind, refocusing.

“Gyu,” You start, getting his full attention. “There’s something… I have to tell you something.”

“What?” 

“I’m not even really sure how to tell you, um hang on,” You continue, leaving the room quickly to retrieve one of the pregnancy tests you’d left in the bathroom. 

You come back, very obviously holding something behind your back.

“I guess I should say I kind of have a surprise to tell you.”

“What? What?” Mingyu asks, eager already by the way you’re already smirking, unable to contain yourself.

“It’s, um, this…” You start, pulling the test from behind your back. “I didn’t know how to tell you, I was gonna plan something but I couldn’t wait.” You laugh, smiling ear to ear.

Mingyu takes it from you, seemingly uncaring, or forgetting, that you literally peed on the thing. His mouth drops opened, in awe.

“Oh my god…” He speaks, beaming. “When did you find out?” 

“Today, actually.” You say. “I wound up taking a test, and… yeah.” 

You sigh. “I feel so weird about it, I know I was expecting it but I feel so excited and nervous at the same time.”

You glance up at Mingyu, and you see him still examining the test in his hand.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Mingyu nods, his eyes meeting yours and you see he’s now smiling. “I’m just… happy, surprised..”

“I mean, cmon, what were we really expecting…” You joke, blushing.

“You know what I mean, it’s still crazy to me.” Mingyu comes closer to you, kissing you. 

“Yeah, it sure is…” You smile up at him. 

“It’s okay, honey,” Mingyu reassures you, speaking softly. “Just get it out…”

Mingyu kneels behind you on the cold tile floor, holding your hair back as you’re hanging your head over the toilet as your stomach empties its contents.

“There you go…” 

You wonder how he can even stand to be in the bathroom with you, if the roles were reversed, you’d be outside the door nearly gagging.

“Are you okay?” Mingyu asks, helping you sit up, as he wraps his arms around you to keep you steady. 

You slowly nod as you flush, still feeling a touch of nausea. “Yeah, can you just- just stay here for a little bit.” 

Mingyu sits on the tile floor as he leans against the bathtub, and he guides you back to sit in front of him.

You lean back into him, and he leans down and kisses your shoulder. You catch a glance at his watch on his wrist even in the dim light of the very early morning.

“Oh my god, Gyu, is it really 5am?” You groggily ask, feeling sorry. “You have to work in the morning, don’t you?”

“Shh, it’s okay, it’s not a big deal.” Mingyu reassures you. “I can always go in a little later, I wanna make sure you’re okay.” 

“…I think I’m good now,” You say, starting to stand up slowly, as Mingyu helps you all the way. “…You know, I have heard that the more nauseas you are, it probably means you’re having a girl. And if you have none at all, it’s probably a boy.”

Mingyu chuckles, “Where do you come up with this? Is that even a thing?” 

“The internet… you know, social media. Everything’s on there.” You protest.

“You’re delirious,” Mingyu playfully rolls his eyes. “Cmon, let’s go back to bed.”

“Gyu, we have to leave in like an hour,” You say, as you’re getting ready in the bathroom, finishing up your final touches on your hair. “I don’t want to be late for dinner at my parents house.”

Mingyu stands in the doorway now, “This okay?” He shows off a navy blue polo shirt and black jeans. 

“Yeah, honey, you look nice.” You smile. “Besides, you could wear anything around her, she adores you anyways.” 

It was true. Your mother would always be calling Mingyu to help around the house when your Father was away on a business trip. She needed help fixing something? She’d call Mingyu. She needs help building a side table? You bet she’s calling Mingyu. His height was also a bonus, being able to reach things stored higher up.

Mingyu smiles at you adoringly, as his eyes trail down your body.

“What?” You ask when you notice him.

“You’re starting to show a little,” He smiles. “You look cute.”

You giggle, placing your hands on your stomach. “Yeah I know, she wants to be seen now, she’s done hiding.” 

“Well, are my girls ready to go?” Mingyu smiles, kissing you. 

“Yeah,” You giggle, smiling as you kiss him again. “Let’s go.” 

It's true, swear, scouts honor You knew what you wanted and boy, you got her.

tags: @jenoslutie @wonuwrites @aaniag @cosmojinyoung

[evangelical04]

A Single Daffodil || 1

Summary: Getting arranged to be married to your long-time crush wasn't exactly the fairy tale romance you were hoping for. Nor is the dynamic of the marriage, with your husband treating you like you don't exist. But you're going to make this work, whether he cares about you or not. And he definitely doesn't...right?

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

Rating: 18+ minors DNI

Word Count: 2.7K

Genre: angst, romance, unrequited love, smut, enemies to lovers, arranged marriage au, businessman yoongi

Warnings: parental trauma, sibling trauma, toxic parents, unrequited love, explicit language, alcohol usage, yoongi's kind of mean, future smut

Author's Note: hello! i'm Eva and this is my first fic on tumblr ever! I've been a reader for so long and I've always wanted to write my own stories, so I figured I finally would. I know it’s kind of short but I promise the other parts will be longer. Please give me any feedback you have and let me know if you'd like there to be a tag list or anything! I hope you guys like it!! p.s. I'm totally posting this instead of doing my morphology homework that's due in 15 minutes

masterlist / next

The door to your childhood home looked artificially welcoming. There were too many flowers lining the walls encasing the looming wooden door. The grass on the lawn just was a bit too green without a blade out of place and the paved walkway was freshly powerwashed and missing even a speck of dirt. You let out the deep breath you were holding and gently took hold of the overly ornate bronze knocker adorning the painted wood of the door. Two loud thuds rang out as you knocked and the door quickly opened afterwards.

“Hello, Miss Y/N, your parents have been expecting you.”

“Yes, I know. Thank you, Mrs. Oh,” you responded quietly, nodding at the grey-haired woman. She shot you a sympathetic smile before ushering you in, taking your coat and carefully laying it over her arm. After removing your shoes, you followed her past the foyer to the living room where your parents awaited. 

You knew what was coming, you knew that this had been decided long before you were born. Yet, you still felt unprepared. You had grown comfortable, living in your simple apartment in Gangnam and your quiet work routine. Biting your lip, you reprimanded yourself internally, You should’ve brought this shit up in therapy before it happened.

“Here we are, Miss Y/N,” Mrs. Oh said, snapping you out of your self-pity session. You nodded gratefully at her, sending a small smile her way. Her eyebrows wove together in her own pity-ridden expression and she quickly whispered, “Good luck,” while exiting swiftly. You steeled your nerves and forced your chin up high, knowing that you’d most likely cower inwards as soon as you faced your parents anyway.

Stepping into the room, you noted the almost intervention-like setup your parents had arranged themselves in, with your father sitting proudly in his reclining, leather armchair, clad in a dark blue quarter zip and khaki pants. Your mother stood facing the fireplace, arms crossed, in a simple and elegant turquoise dress and hair tied up in a tight and neat bun, with her baby hairs smoothed back to prevent any imperfection. You could almost imagine her pinched mouth, forever encased in a stern and unamused expression. 

“Hello father, mother,” you started, trying to smooth the slight trembling in your voice. Your mother turned around, eyes narrowing at your form, “Sit down.”

You promptly obeyed.

“Your father and I have decided on your marriage. It’ll be to the Min family, to Min Yoongi.”

“What? To him? But,” you began protesting but your mother quickly cut you off with a steely glare. 

“It has already been decided. Your wedding will be in eight months. I’ll forward you the invitation list and you can add three people of your choosing. You’ll be having dinner with us and the Min family on Friday at six. I’ll have Yujin send you an email with further details. Don’t be late.” 

You looked to your father in a desperate plea but were only met with stony silence and a passive face. You turned back to your mother and registered the composed expression painting her face. Your fate had been decided, and it had not worked in your favor at all. Rising slowly, you set your hands by your side and bowed towards your parents, “I understand. I’ll be there.”

Your mother swiftly exited the room, evidently deciding the conversation was over. You could hear her dangling earrings tinkling against each other in what felt like a mocking melody. Your father calmly produced a cigar from the table next to him and lit up, no longer acknowledging you either. You let out another slow breath and walked out. 

Collecting your coat from Mrs. Oh, who tried to give you a comforting shoulder squeeze but it felt more like condolences than anything, and made your way to your car parked in front of the gate closing off your parents’ home. 

That’s it then.

You felt eerily calm yet stressed as you started up your car and carefully reversed out, making sure to avoid hitting the carved statues your parents had in front of the iron gate. As you drove home, your mind started racing with the information you had been relayed. 

Min Yoongi as your soon-to-be-husband? What irony.

Does he even know you exist?

Will you be able to survive this?

Hand gripping the steering wheel hard, you quickly dialed the most recent number in your contact list. She answered after only two rings.

“Y/N! Are you still alive? How’d it go?”

“Hi Joohee, not great. I’m completely and totally fucked.”

Joohee chuckled on the other end of the line, “Want to come over?”

“Yes,” you breathed, “I was hoping you’d offer.”

“I’ll get the booze.”

“Min Yoongi? Now that’s ironic,” Joohee chuckled, seemingly at your expense. You shot a glare her way which she shrugged in response to.

“How long have you been crushing on him? This is, like, practically fate. Maybe this’ll be a good thing.”

You scoffed in response, “A good thing? Joohee, be serious. The last thing I want to do is get with my long-time infatuation, not crush, by forcing him to be my husband.” You took another swig of wine. It was a cheap pink Moscato, perfect for nights like these with Joohee. 

Joohee shoved a pillow in your direction in an effort to gain more room on the couch you had stuffed yourselves onto. The trash reality dating show you had on in the background was showing a rather dramatic fight but you paid it no attention, “It’s just…I haven’t talked to him in the last, what, five years? He probably doesn’t even remember me. And you’ve heard the rumors, I don’t think he’ll be exactly thrilled at giving up his playboy lifestyle just because he has to marry me.”

“What if he doesn’t give that up?”

You stared at Joohee in slight surprise, “What do you mean?”

“Like, what if he says that he doesn’t want to stop hooking up with other people? What will you do?”

Your brows furrowed as you considered the question, “I don’t know, I guess. I mean, I can’t really stop him. I guess I’d just have to live with it.”

Joohee hummed in response before continuing on, “Well, this is happening whether you like it or not. Just try to make it amicable at the least. Maybe it’ll work out, you never know. Just look at Jin oppa.”

Kim Seokjin, Joohee’s older brother and a friend of Min Yoongi’s, was arranged by Joohee’s parents to marry Song Yeonhee, and the two had seemingly fallen in love after a rocky start to their nuptials. You had seen them recently at Yeonhee’s baby shower and she had been glowing, looking unbelievably happy. You recalled the loving gaze that Seokjin had sent her during the party and the pang of envy you felt, knowing that you would likely never get to experience that. 

“Yeah, well,” you responded, “He’s an outlier. Most of these types of marriages don’t work out. I have a feeling I’m going to be a part of that group.”

“You’re too negative, you haven’t even met him for dinner yet. Maybe he’ll surprise you. You just have to give him the chance.”

You mulled over Joohee’s words and nodded, “Yeah, maybe you’re right. I guess I’ll see how Friday goes.”

You weren’t technically late. 

While you still had about 5 minutes before the dinner officially started, you weren’t early, and that was unacceptable by your mother’s standards. A mini emergency at your job had left you scrambling to leave on time, only noticing the late hour when one of your coworkers asked if they should order take-out for the team. After profusely apologizing to your team, they encouraged you to go, practically shooing you out the door, claiming they could handle the situation for now. 

Which left you barely on time to park in the lot outside the ridiculously fancy Japanese restaurant your mother’s assistant, Yujin, had sent to your email earlier that week. You quickly stepped out, smoothing out your dress that you had kept in the backseat of your car and had hastily changed into in the parking lot of your office. Tugging down the hem, you took a moment to look at your reflection in your car window and attempt to look more presentable. Your hair was slightly frizzy but nicely combed back, and you had extremely minimal makeup on from only remembering last minute this morning, and your eyes looked tired. 

You felt tired.

Shaking off your nerves, you headed inside the restaurant giving your family name to the hostess who took you back to a private room where your mother and father were waiting. Your father spared you only a cursory glance before returning his gaze to his phone and your mother looked you up and down before uttering a curt, “Hm.” You held in an eye roll and quickly sat next to them, trying to calm your heart rate for the sure-to-be exhilarating dinner ahead. At six on the dot, you spotted the same hostess leading the Min family towards your table. Your mother stood, welcoming them and urging them to sit down. You stood as well, a little less welcoming, a lot more obligated. 

Mrs. Min looked like the epitome of a rich older woman with dark black hair combed back and glittering jewels lining her ears and neck, complementing the midnight blue gown she had on. Mr. Min was dressed quite similarly to your father, in a simple suit, the only difference being his starkly greying hair providing quite the contrast to his dark blazer. Close behind them was the person you were the most anxious about meeting, Min Yoongi. His pitch-black hair complemented his slightly tanned skin nicely and his feline eyes remained straightforward and untelling. He was dressed in a simple black suit as well with an expensive-looking watch adoring his wrist. His mouth was closed tightly and he did not smile at your mother when she greeted him, not at your father when they sat down across from your family, and certainly not at you.

Your hands nervously played with each other in your lap as you took your seat again. You listened quietly as the mothers exchanged pleasantries and the fathers gruffly greeted each other. You were trying to avoid looking at Yoongi as much as possible.

“So, Y/N,” Mrs. Min started, making you startle to attention, “How old are you now?”

“Twenty-nine, ma’am.”

“Ah, so only a bit younger than Yoongi. That’s good then. How is your work?”

You felt your father stiffen next to you and prayed your discomfort didn’t show on your face, “Good. I’m in the middle of producing a new project with my team.”

“How lovely. Although I’m sure you’ll be leaving that soon after the wedding. You won’t need to work then after all,” Mrs. Min smiled at you. It was hard to read her so you couldn’t tell if she was being genuine or not, though if you had to guess, it was likely the latter. Your job was a point of contention with your family. Choosing to work in a video game production company did not go over well, and if your older brother, Kyungsoo, hadn’t been in line to inherit Seo Industries, you would’ve never been able to keep it. 

You smiled awkwardly in response to Mrs. Min and returned your gaze to the empty plate in front of you. 

As the conversation dragged on, you couldn’t help but steal a glance or two at Yoongi, who was periodically checking his phone and looking permanently bored of the conversation. Not that you could blame him. The dull talk of social circle gossip and work was beginning to get grating, and even the introduction of fancy entrees wasn’t enough to stop your stomach from feeling queasy. 

Yoongi had yet to say one word to you. To be fair, you hadn’t said anything to him either, but he had barely looked in your direction since he entered the private dining room. How exactly were you supposed to start a conversation with that? 

Soon after the desserts came out and were finished, with you politely refusing, feeling like you were going to throw up any second, Mrs. Min suddenly pushed her chair back and stood. She looked down at you and Yoongi and announced, “Well. I think we can leave them to talk on their own for a bit. Why don’t you join us for a drink at our home, Eujin-ssi?”

At the sound of her name, your mother stood, nodding, “Yes, that sounds lovely. Let’s let them get to know each other a bit more.” With that, the parents swiftly gathered their belongings and left, before you could even protest, leaving you staring open-mouthed at the exit. 

Slowly, you turned to face Yoongi and were startled, seeing his eyes already boring into yours. 

“Let’s get one thing straight,” Yoongi stated, his deep and stable voice wrapping around you for the first time that night, “This marriage means nothing to me. It shouldn’t to you either. I’ll do my thing and you do yours. Most importantly, stay out of my life except when necessary. Just because my parents are forcing my hand doesn’t mean I have to adhere to every little thing. Nothing will be changing except for our living situation and a ring on our fingers.”

A little stunned, you could only stutter a passive agreement and watch as he rose and left without sparing you another glance. 

Letting out a deep breath, you closed your eyes, trying to understand what had just transpired. Your heart raced as you quickly stacked up the dishes to be a bit easier for the busboy and quickly made your way to your car. Sitting down in the driver’s seat, you vaguely registered Min Yoongi’s cold demeanor towards you.

It seems he didn’t remember you after all.

The dress you had on was itchy, but you knew if you complained, you would only end up with a sharp stinging on your cheek and tear-filled eyes. You had escaped the boring party with grown-ups and were sitting outside on a stone bench in the garden, trying to remedy your hurt feelings at the hands of the mean, older boy, Hyunsoo. 

He had confidently poked fun at your appearance, saying the dress was a bit too small on you and that your parents should’ve sprung for a size that could fit an elephant instead. He continued on, saying your parents must’ve forgotten to vaccinate you for measles considering all the red spots on your face that were actually acne. Being a tender twelve years of age and going through the worst bits of puberty, his words hit you hard and you quickly ran from the scene into the garden. 

Unable to contain your tears, they slipped down your face in large droplets and soaked into the front of your dress. 

“Hey, you.”

Startled, you looked up to see a boy a couple of years older than you standing in front of you, black hair shining in the light from the garden lamps. His sharp eyes trailed down your tear-stained face. You quickly turned away in shame, not wanting to undergo any more embarrassment tonight. 

“Hey, snot-face.”

You shot him a glare but softened when you saw his hand extended, holding a handkerchief, his face turned slightly away, “Use this. You look ugly while you’re crying.”

You gingerly took the cloth from his hands and blew your nose, noticing him wince out of the corner of your eye. 

“Thank you,” you managed and he only rolled his eyes in response. 

“Yeah, whatever. I think Joohee’s looking for you,” he grumbled before turning on his heel and stalking off back towards the party. 

Confused, your eyes followed after him, not knowing how he knew that Joohee would be looking for you. You unfolded the handkerchief and noticed an elegant embroidering of three letters in black near the bottom, MYG. 

Oh, you realized, Min Yoongi. Joohee’s older brother was friends with him but you had never seen him before. Joohee had described him as kind of rude and quite closed off, but you disagreed. He certainly didn’t seem that bad.

masterlist / next

[sleepingdeath-light]

rosie smut hcs ; 18+

requested by ; anonymous (17/02/24)

fandom(s) ; hazbin hotel

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; rosie

outline ; “imma need some rosie (hazbin hotel) x reader smut and relationship hcs please, i'm over 18! thank youuu”

warning(s) ; sexually explicit content, dom-leaning!rosie, lingerie kink, knife play, implied period sex/oral, mutual praise kink, marking kink, oral sex (both giving and receiving), implied overstimulation

note ; love rosie’s character sm, might add more to this post in the future but for now this is all i’ve got haha ^^

minors and ageless blogs will be blocked

though rosie does have a strong preference for taking the lead in the bedroom and dominance is something that pretty much comes naturally to her, she’s not entirely opposed to handing over the reins to you every now and again — sometimes you’ll have to earn her submission and fight for your right to dominate her, other times she’ll just sit back and let you take control with very minimal guidance on her end, it really just depends on her mood and whether she wants to be pampered or put in her place

she absolutely loves lingerie and has a sizeable collection of it that she’s more than happy to bring out of storage and use with you — some sets are more simple, others are much more elaborate, and there are a few that you might better describe as something a burlesque performer might wear, but all of it suits her wonderfully and does a fantastic job of making her look even more attractive than she already is

and if you ever decide to surprise her by wearing something that shows off all the parts of you that you know she loves, then you can expect to spend the rest of the day in rosie’s arms as she shows you just how much she appreciates your efforts (and, at the same time, sates her hunger by biting and marking everywhere she can teach while she pleasures you)

because of her work as a chef and the details of her diet, rosie has had plenty of time both to get very comfortable and confident with using and handling knives, and to gain an intimate and anatomical familiarity with the human form — all of this to say that she’s probably the best person in all of hell to go to if you want to engage in any form of knife play because she may be one of only a handful of sinners that actually knows what they’re doing and that won’t go out of her way to kill you afterwards unless you provoke her

adding onto that, as a cannibal herself she’s certainly not going to be put off by any amount of blood in the bedroom, and whether that blood comes from inflicted wounds (bites, cuts, scratches) during the act or if it’s a consequence of something more natural (a period, for example) her reaction is always going to be roughly the same — she’ll quickly lick you clean, give you that broad toothy grin, and continue with what she’s doing unless you ask her to stop

she has a very distinct praise kink that goes both ways — during sex it will mainly be her showering you in praise and affirmations while she absolutely ravishes your body with her mouth/hands/pussy/toys, but if you manage to catch your breath long enough to return the favour then she’s certainly not going to stop you (it doesn’t even have to be sexual, she’ll get that same giddy grin whether you’re breathlessly calling her ‘gorgeous’ or ‘beautiful’ and telling her how amazing she makes you feel, or if you’re practically salivating over her baking and offering her a string of compliments that would make any chef preen)

rosie is something of a traditionalist and a romantic in how she approaches courting and wooing you in your relationship in general, but that doesn’t always directly translate over to how she treats you when you’re in her bed — like for the most part she’s still that wonderful chatty woman that you fell in love with and she’ll keep on praising you even when she has two or three fingers buried inside of you and you’re too flustered to meet her eyes, but there are times where she’ll be much harsher and more direct with you during sex (which is usually down to her having had a rough day and needing to let off some steam, or because you’ve spent most of your day doing your best to make yourself a nuisance, a tease, or a brat, and she’s decided you’re well overdue a punishment for it)

she does have a thing for marking you as hers in one way or another, be that through something temporary like a visible kiss mark on the corner of your mouth or something longer lasting like a hickey or even a brand, and though it started off as just something for her to ward off any potential callers of yours and to stake her claim on you, it evolved into something much more substantial than that — nowadays you’ll never be seen out and about in hell without some sort of mark visible on your body courtesy of your beloved, even though basically everyone who knows you already knows that you’re spoken for

she loves giving and receiving oral — but more specifically she loves riding your face while you paw at any part of her that your roaming hands can reach, and she loves going down on you until your legs are shaking and you’re so far gone that you’re only able to whimper and shakily moan out the syllables of her name as your voice is too hoarse and raw to utter anything else

after the two of you are finished rosie is always frustratingly quick to put herself back together and regain her composure, which means that she’s usually the one to take the lead for both your general aftercare and the following pillow talk — of course she knows what she’s doing and you’re in excellent hands, and she’s always so sweet and attentive in how she takes care of you, but you often find yourself wishing that just once you’ll get to see her be left as completely and utterly out of it as you are (barely able to speak, body still twitching from overstimulation, covered in marks and body fluids, and too achy to move more than a few inches at a time)

[midnightswithdearkatytspb]

MidnightsWithDearKatyTSPB’s Recommendations '23: January

Welcome back to monthly to semi weekly fanfiction and more list recommendations. It used to be VelvetCardiganBucky’s list, but I changed my name. New Year, going through residential treatment soon, new me, new name. A lot of new here at this blog. I follow my username in hashtag form, so tag me in your fics, challenges, to be added in future list. Do not be afraid to message me I will answer back as soon as I possibly can! — Katy K.

This blog and its content is attended for mature audiences, so unless you are over the age of 18, it’s best you turn back now. I’m not in charge of your media consumption there, for you cannot come for me when you don’t like something you read. Thank you.

<< April '21

February '23 >>

My Masterlist

One-Shots:

Start A War by @angrythingstarlight >> Mob!Bucky Barnes x Reader x Mob!Steve Rogers - Summary/Request: Another take on what could have been if the reader had decided to stay with Steve, not Bucky, in Pretty Little Liars story. | I always love reading anything written by angrythingstarlight, whether it's on here or it's on AO3. I have yet to read Pretty Little Liars, but this snippet has made me add it to my to-read list.

Looks Better On You by @navybrat817 >> Lumberjack! Stever Rogers x Reader - Steve can't stop thinking about how good you look in his shirts. | You got yourself the perfect amount of alluded smut, and you got yourself the lovey-dovey stuff. It's perfect, just perfect.

Could've Just Asked, Baby by @wndalovebot >> CEO Alpha!Bucky Barnes x Omega!Reader - Summary: All you wanted was, was some time with your CEO mate Bucky, but he seemed to busy for you lately. Well maybe calling attention to yourself was the best thing you ever did. | Did the room suddenly get 10 degrees hotter?

Still into You by @loverwebs >> Peter Parker x Scarlet Witch!Reader - Summary: You and Peter didn’t end things on the best terms and wind up seeing each other again at an Avengers party. | This is what I can picture as a realistic relationship with a fight between a super couple. The ending is *chefs kiss.*

Series:

The Happy Couple: Chapter 6 by @darkficsyouneveraskedfor >> Mob!Bucky Barnes x Reader - Summary: Your father makes a deal to marry you to his top capo. (mob au) | The story just really picked up, but you can't really ever go wrong with reading one of Roo's stories. They are just so good.

AO3:

In The Mood by SkylarJames22//@skylarjameswrites >> Mob!Bucky Barnes x Shelby!Reader - Mob Boss doesn't take too kindly to the beautiful Skylar trying to take over his territory in America. He comes to her to make a deal and get her to back off, but a Peaky Blinder never backs down from a fight. | HOT! HOT! HOT!

And They Were Roommates by staygold483 >> Tattoo Artist!Bucky Barnes x OFC - Summary: Luka has just finished her college degree and moved back to her hometown to live with her boyfriend. She runs into some of her old high school classmates, who support her when she really needs them. One of those people, is her high school crush, Bucky Barnes. | I read this story after it was completed and loved it, the ending is okay, but the story it's self is what holds it for me.

One-Shots:

Sweet Nothings by @secretswiftymarvelfan >> Chris Evans x Reader - Summary: When the world is out there pushing and shoving, all you’ve ever wanted was sweet nothings. | I'm pretty sure I have to go make a dentist appointment with Robert Evans, that's how sweet this is, and I love it.

Jealousy's My Best Friend by @cockslutpadalecki >> Professor!Andy Barber x Student!Reader - Summary: You can’t help but be a little jealous when Andy pays another student some attention. | Oh, don't act like you wouldn't be jealous if someone gave Andy extra attention. I know I would be.

Trust by @worksby-d >> Chris Evans x fem!Reader - Summary: Your second first time together. | (Read Warining, then proceed if interested.) I found this one-shot to be adorable, as well as sweet in how caring Chris was. I would definitely come back to read again on my sad days.

Housewife Duties by @lilacevans >> Ari Levinson x (non-descriptive) Female!Reader - After Ari's been gone on a long grueling work trip, you want to do whatever you can to make him feel comfortable. | I need to start my Thursday mornings, or any morning in general, honestly, reading stuff like this. It would put me in a better mood.

One-Shots:

Closer to Me by @kiki0005 >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: After you get pregnant with Tommy's child, he is adamant that you move in with him. | If I'm honest, I would let Tommy Shelby tell me what to do any day. So this one-shot of him was up my alley because he's asking and telling. Definitely worth the read.

*I'm Yours by @sunsetbeachesandwriting >> Tommy Shelby x Reader ft. John Shelby - Summary: Your body is for Tommy and Tommy alone. | I'm a fan of possessive Tommy Shelby, and I didn't know it till I read this, or I just forgot. So good.

Dada Tommy by @quinnsbower >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: Tommy is left to watch over his 6-month-old while his wife eats with his sister. What could possibly happen? | This was so adorable, funny, and just plain loving. I love Dad!Tommy, especially to baby girls. Makes my heart go pitter-patter.

The Clap by SunsetBeachesandWriting >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: Jealousy never looked so good on someone like Tommy Shelby, especially when all he wants is you back. | If a man ever did this to me, I would slap them. If Tommy Shelby ever did this to me, I would swoon.

Promotion by @sunsetbeachesandwriting >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: Y/N is Harry's daughter and works in the Garrison until Tommy decides to "fire" her. | This is both a mix of hot and sweet. I could picture season one or two of Tommy doing this with a massive smile on my face.

Love Is Sweeter Than Vengeance by @pherelesytsia >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: Burglars break into the mansion in search of the safe and stumble upon the lady of the house. | This was so suspenseful as well as hot. Just how I like my Tommy Shelby.

You're Everywhere, Love by @sunsetbeachesandwriting >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: Everyone has Tommy feeling overwhelmed. He walks out in the middle of a family meeting and goes to the one place he knows he'll find some peace. | I'm definitely not crying, and I'm definitely not going to suggest you have a box of tissues on standby when you read this.

Series:

The Boy in the Window by @notyour-valentine>> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: (Y/N) thinks the boy her daughter sees in the window of the neighbouring house is nothing but a childish fantasy; after all, no one has lived there for years, but when she brings that boy to lunch, she realizes that he is in fact very real and above all- the son of none other than the infamous Tommy Shelby. | While I'm only five chapters into this story, it's quickly becoming one of my favorites that I've read. We get to see more of Charlie and more of Tommy's sensitive and protective side.

AO3:

*Tommy's Red Right Hand by HisRedRightHand >> Tommy Shelby x OFC - Summary: As if being left in charge of the two youngest Shelby siblings wasn't enough, Tommy decides to ask a redhead as ornery as he is and her six-year-old sister to take up residence at 6 Watery Lane. | At 115 chapters so far, I took my time to cherish this story because that is how much I thoroughly enjoy reading this. I highly recommend that you head the warnings that come in the tags in the summary that come with this before you dive in. The author does a fantastic job warning you about each chapter as well.

One-Shots:

A Flower Petal by @jelsasnowflakes1 >> Geralt x Fem!Reader - Summary: When being teased for still being a virgin at Kaer Morhen, geralt comes in and "comforts you" when he sees you crying. | It's fluffy and smutty, but it's the ending for me in the end.

Sleepless by @sgt-seabass >> MobBoss! PrimeAlpha!Nick Fowler x Omega!Reader- Summary: Nick wants all of you. And he will do whatever it takes to claim your soul. | Nick knows what he wants. This is sweet because he knows he will have to make an effort to change how he acts around her.

Series:

Happatance Pt. 6 by @teds-mustache-wrangler >> Henry Cavill x OFC - Summary: Henry is about to go to bed one night when he suddenly gets a text from a random number he doesn't know. What happens when you accidentally text the star actor of The Witcher? Memes apparently. Lots and lots of memes. | I was privileged to beta-read this chapter for Wren and am honored. This is a spicy one y'all so sit back and enjoy some Henry and Lizzy!

AO3:

*A Twist In Time by Comet96 >> Tommy Shelby x Lupin!OFC - Summary: Romy Lupin was a walking cliche. She has her father's metamorphmagus abilities and also seems to be a seer. During her last year at Hogwarts, Tom Riddle is brought from his teenage years at Hogwarts into the year 2047, and soon after, Romy finds herself being sent back into time. Back to 1926, when Merope Gaunt was still pregnant. It's Romy's job to protect Tom Riddle Jr. from being taken into the wrong hands. It was all going to plan until Merope knocked the time turner, and they ended up in 1916, in the middle of the first world war and with no way to get back to 1926. There she meets the Shelbys and somehow manages to find her feet in dingy Small Heath with the help of Harry Fenton, Squib, and a distant family member. | At 43 chapters and hasn't been updated since the middle of September, this story is Harry Potter, pre-Fantastic Beast meets Peaky Blinders, and I'm living for it. It has everything magical-wise you could ask for and Shelby-wise as well. I just wish it would be updated, but dreamers can dream.

Legacy by cl410 or @i-like-plan-m >> Darcy Lewis x Bucky Barnes - Summary: Darcy Lewis meets the Hales from Teen Wolf. (My poor summary.) | I love Stiles from Teen Wolf, and I love this What If twist that the author has done with Darcy. The whole series is good, and I recommend everyone give it a read if you are a fan of Darcy Lewis or MCU and Teen Wolf.

Blue by galaxiejoon >> Louis Tomlinson & OFC >> Summary: Elle is a seven-year-old girl who meets Louis and asks him to describe the color blue to her. | This is adorable and made me tear up the first time I read it in years. I still tear up every time I read it.

@peakyscillian - Looking for a masterlist to binge or just a variety of Tommy and Cillian? I would check out Laura's page and her writing.

@teds-mustache-wrangler - Are your Henry Cavill needs not getting met? Do you feel like perhaps you need to read about Henry Cavill, but haven't yet? Well go on down to Wren's blog, she has all your Henry Cavill needs met.

@gypsy-girl-08 - If you are a fan of Cillian Murphy or Peaky Blinders, then I would check this writer out. They have many Thomas Shelby series to choose from as well as Cillian Murphy

[cflight]

get to know the author!

it's been quite a while since i've done one of these so i figure i might as well get this out of the way (even tho i chose to do it like. lol. i just woke up from a nap, spare me)

name: evan

pronouns: they/them (he is also fine)

preference of communication: discord by far (starteas#6241)

most active muse: the only muse i currently have for this blog- ekira. i'd honestly love to add some of my other muses to this blog such as hemlock since he's incredibly prevalent in ekira's story, but i need to curb my own laziness and finally give him a page lmao. i'm also incredibly out of practice with writing villains so it's been quite a while. i definitely need to freshen up there.

experience / how many years: i've been roleplaying on tumblr since i was about 13 so i have about 8 or so years of experience. i only started taking it seriously fairly recently into my early teen years, and i've been trying to do so ever since. i don't keep up to date with my rp experience nowadays (considering thinking back on old things i did as a tween makes me cringe heavily.)

when i rebooted ekira's blog back in 2020 or so is when i started taking writing up as less of a hobby and more of an artistic pursuit. i've always enjoyed it for as long as i can remember, and have loved making up stories with my characters since i was little. i consider rping to be an extension of that, and it's always great to improve my writing and characters along the way.

platforms you use: tumblr and discord, but mainly this hellsite

best experience: my best experience has been meeting other muns and interacting with characters from all aspects- whether it be canon muses or ocs, or even heavily canon-divergent muses, i love them all and interacting with each muse has been so fun. i know i would like to interact with more muns one on one more often, but i don't mind the mini interactions we do get with replying to each other's posts or seeing each other in our notifs. hello friend!

rp pet peeves: punctuation. this might be me considering i am VERY finicky on correct punctuation and spelling, so it's incredibly hard for me to jive with characters that don't seem to have as much care in their writing presentation. that's just a me thing though, and i absolutely don't fault anyone who falls into this category! it just itches my brain in a way i really do not like

this is also directed at myself, but i dislike happy-go-lucky characters with little to no substance. when i first started writing ekira that's the only thing they tended to embody. they were sweet and kind and friendly and incredibly fucking boring. they could get emotional, sure, and could get angry sometimes, but they were completely sanded down and unfun to right and otherwise just boring. i wasn't having fun writing them and i wasn't having fun in threads because i wrote them all so... samey.

it's why i decided to revamp ekira's blog the way i did, and in the same vein change up how i wrote them completely. i won't get too much into it (because tbh i already stated my problems with it and we'd be here ALL DAY if i continued) but i'm much happier writing them now than i ever was before the reboot. sometimes i still find myself falling into the same patterns as i did when i first wrote them, and it's something i personally am striving to improve on the more i write them.

ekira's still friendly and kind but can get frustrated, sad, angry, and isn't much of a blank slate as they were before. i'm incredibly proud of how far they've come since then, and hope to avoid any of the same stuff i ran into before in the past.

fluff, angst, or smut: fluff and angst are both good in moderation. i'd personally love to get into more angst threads as it's the ones i surprisingly get the least of (understandable) but i'd also like to get into more smut. i don't write it much as i'm still very much a beginner to it, but it's something i'd like to explore more of in the future; same with angst. there's a lot to ekira i'm grateful i get to explore with my friend @modestmuses and i'd certainly love more of it whether it be in those two categories.

plots or memes: i have a lot of fun doing both, but i definitely want to get better with doing things that are much more planned out. i'm not the best at thinking of in depth plots on the spot, but i know it's something i want to do more of. memes are also great (again, shouting out teddy for this one) because he just knows how to craft plots around memes so expertly that makes me crave EXACTLY what he's writing.

long or short replies: i tend to do medium replies depending on length, but recently i've been feeling more drawn to long replies. it helps me improve my writing and i love testing the waters with longer replies; it gives me more opprotunity to flesh out ekira's thoughts and actions much more than two paragraphs ever could.

best time to write: whenever i feel like it. i'm sporadic when i use tumblr so i get bursts of inspiration randomly. usually it comes best to me either mid afternoon or very late at night.

are you like your muse(s): yes and no. i'd go more in depth about it but all i can say is we both need to learn to love ourselves a bit more. also i want goat horns and a tail, it'd be sick as hell

tagged by: @modestmuses (not actually i stole this lol)

tagging: steal it

[maplesunflowers]

Prologue (CanUkr DILF AU) - I recently decided to add extra chapters to the prologue because I feel like it benefits the setup for my AU better than to just leave those particular parts as drabbles. I'm really excited about where my prologue is going and I hope everyone is just as excited.

But I'm a Good Girl! (AmeRus Fic) - This was my first fic that didn't involve Mattie in some way and I was so nervous to write a RusAme/AmeRus fic but I'm SO happy that so many people loved it. It was a lot for fun to write and maybe I'll write another RusAme fic in the future if I ever come up with a good idea for one.

Our Little Secret - Mmmm, this was just, VERY self indulgent smut if it wasn't obvious. 😅

The Hunt for Prey - Another very self indulgent smut 😅

Soulmate Next Door (CanLiet Soulmate AU) - This was another one I was anxious about whether or not people would like. This one was a request and even though I'm not a CanLiet shipper, I still wanted to try something new. I was SO anxious writing for the Baltics and Tino because I'm not super familiar with their characterizations and I was afraid I'm make them too OOC for peoples' liking. But I'm proud of how it came out in the end.

[gettinziggywithit]

Return to Normalcy: Ch. 1 - Help Me Out

So, this new fic is getting some positive reviews on AO3, so I thought I might post it here as well. It’s not by any means perfect and I consider it unfamiliar territory given the characters and synopsis, but I thought I’d try something new for once. Be gentle with it. 

Synopsis: You signed up for an ad in the local newspaper to be the designated human roommate to Horrortale!skeleton brothers, sans and Papyrus after getting out of an abusive relationship and needing some time away from other humans. The brothers were deemed fit to return to civilization following a long rehabilitation at the local mental facility and you are charged with integrating them back into social life and give them a chance to bond with humans after being under the mountain for so long. All three of you have your own personal obstacles to face, but can you face them all while living under one roof?

"Ooh, I need some temporary saving // Ooh, I need some, some uncomplicating // Help me out // 'Cause I don't wanna do this on my own // Help me out, out // Help me out, 'cause I need something up to calm me down // Help me out, out" ~ Maroon 5 - Help Me Out

Nobody said life was going to be easy.

There was always going to be some hurdle you had to jump, some sort of obstacle that you had to tackle head on to move past it. There would be good times to enjoy, but more often than not for you, those moments seemed to pass you by or downright ignore you. Currently, you found yourself curled up on a small rocking chair cross stitching a pattern for a throw pillow you had, but homely apartment on the edge of town in the middle of one of those rare good times. After trading an emotionally abusive family for a physically abusive boyfriend and then dumping him after the 3rd broken bone and sweet lies permeated under the stench of hard liquor of “I’ll never do this again” you were done with humans for a while.

Answering an ad in the local newspaper, you found yourself moving in with the most unlikely neighbors: two skeleton brothers. Apparently the myths and stories were true and a population of monsters did inhabit the inside of Mt. Ebott just to the west of the town. What was left of the monsters emerged from a freak anomaly in the universe. Or, at least that’s what the news outlets kept spewing forth. The group that did make it to the city were horrifying as it was soon found out that the monsters were trapped for so long without renewable resources that they began delving into insanity and devouring each other just to stay alive.

You could partially understand the monsters and their need to survive, even if it meant letting go of their morals. Of course, the local government wasn’t too excited to get a few hundred mental unstable, slightly cannibalistic, highly magical monsters in their town and the ones brave enough to help, put them into intensive therapy to rehabilitate them. Those who gained enough sanity back to not be a threat to the general public were allowed to leave the facility and begin a new life in a special part of town. Right, a special part of town. You snorted, the “special” part of town was literally just the older, more run down side of town. The buildings were slightly crumbling, there were barely any businesses still open and few humans made their own there. Not even the homeless would step foot in that part of town.

Each monster or pair of monsters that were living in the shoddy apartments were given a human roommate. Most thought they were to babysit the still mildly feral monsters, but what it gave them was social interaction. Not a lot of humans were up for that task as you ran the risk of relapses with the monsters. One or two volunteers had met a grisly end when a monster had a flashback and devoured them bit by bit. You weren’t put off by that though. Humans were far scarier, more devious than these monsters and the skeletons you were living with, two brothers by the names of sans and Papyrus,were more than you could ask for. The initial meeting of course was awkward, as you sat on one side of the table and the two on the other side. Sans was a large, stocky skeleton with an unnerving smile, one red, blown wide eye light, and a huge gaping hole on one side of his skull. Papyrus was an incredibly tall skeleton with small, pinprick eyes, jagged discolored teeth, and fragile bones.

Sans wouldn’t say anything to you when you first introduced yourself, he just sat there...smiling. It was definitely creepy, but when you turned to Papyrus and greeted yourself, his jagged teeth pulled up into a lopsided grin and he loudly greeted you back. “HeLLo, HumAn! It Is sO niCe To mEeT oUr pOteNtiaL nEw RoOMmAte! DO yoU liKe sPagHettI?” His voice was higher pitched and scratchy, like the sound a record makes when the needle scratches. It was grating on your ears the first couple of meetings, but eventually you got used to it. Every meeting up to the move in, sans would say nothing, letting his brother do all the talking. He would just sit there and stare at you. A shiver would run down your spine and it just felt so eerie, like he was judging you. Eventually the time came for the brothers to decide if you were qualified to be their roommate. You needed both of their approval in order for this to go through.

Papyrus had agreed with a resounding, “YEs!” and so it was down to sans as you turned to him, already used to the hard gaze and stared right back. “Sure.” The voice that came from this skeleton was low, gravelly pitch that made the inner part of your ear itch. It wasn’t a bad sound, if anything, you quite liked it. Of course you were going to keep that little fact to yourself and never speak it aloud if you could help it. Once the papers were signed and you were given an apartment to move into, you took what little you had out of storage that your ex hadn’t stolen from you and moved into your room on the first floor.

The skeleton brothers had their rooms on the 2nd floor for their own privacy which allowed you the small bedroom and dayroom beside it. You loved sitting in your rocking chair that you still had from your grandmother, the only family that seemed to love you, and did little cross stitch projects and crafts. Those moments of solitude were doing wonders for your anxiety, which along with weekly therapist visits, was gradually getting better. Sans and Papyrus were getting better as well. Papyrus was more alert and observant, although the childlike naivety would sometimes present itself when introduced to new things or people. Sans...sans was getting better in the sense that he would now murmur a greeting to you and once in a blue moon, his smile would relax into a seemingly genuine one.

You could feel there was still some tension from him if it was just you and him in a room alone or if he found you alone with Papyrus somewhere. You wouldn’t blame him, one look at his dossier told you that he raised and kept his brother safe in the Underground. A lot of the information was blacked out and he wouldn’t say much about their time before gaining access to the Surface so you left it be. Everyone was entitled to their space and their secrets. One thing that was blatantly clear on his dossier was: NO KNIVES. Apparently his main trigger was any knife of sort so you kept them away in a low drawer in the kitchen. Whenever it was your time to cook, you made triple sure to advise sans that you were using it so there were no surprises.

Papyrus loved to help you cook. It was difficult to basically rewire your diet as you LOVED red meats, but for the first initial months, meat was frowned upon as it could also be a trigger. But, soon enough, you got the hang of a basic veggie lifestyle with some meat every now and then through take out. Sans and Papyrus seemed to be fine with fish, as long as it wasn’t blue, whatever that meant, so you had salmon and tilapia a lot as well. Papyrus enjoyed making pasta and every Thursday night, he’d want to make something new. He had a devout love for the Food Network channel and enjoyed reruns of Good Eats with Alton Brown. He would often say that one day he would meet the great chef, Gordon Ramsey and chastise him for his language, even though he adored his cooking methods.

With sans, it was difficult to pinpoint something that you could do with him. He didn’t divulge much on his hobbies and mostly kept to himself. After a few days of seeing him sitting in a room alone and watching his fingers twitch with the need of something to do, you splurged on a couple of fidget gadgets for him to mess with and to give his thoughts a rest as he focused on something else. You also found that he enjoyed reading after finding several of your books missing, even if it took him a whole week for a small novel due to his slower comprehension from the blow to his skull. You also found out he was quite smart and so you purchased different astronomy and science texts for him to delve into, as well as sci-fi books to break up the monotony. Murmurs of thanks and the sounds of the fidget gadgets every once in awhile assured you that you were at somewhat of a breakthrough with him, which relieved you. You and the brothers had tackled quite a few intimidating obstacles the past month so that only meant a good time had to be around the corner

Right?

[genshingarbage]

Neck Bites/Kisses From The Boys || Headcannons ||

This is all fueled with my need to make Mod Kaeya squirm, she has a thing for neck bites/kisses so this is why this post now exists lmao. Enjoy the boys claiming you to themselves~ fyi this isn't exactly smut or fluff so like... I dunno... its just random at this point - Mod Diluc

Mod Diluc's really mean to me guys :( - Mod Kaeya

Kaeya

He will just do it randomly.

No reason other than he has looked at you and decided; "yea i wanna do that now."

He loves you and finds everything about you attractive down to the last small detail, so he has to make sure he makes everyone aware you are his.

Yes that is how he sees it 100%. Claiming you as his.

Its almost just a pure predatory action that erupts from inside him.

He will often kiss your neck gently and slowly, planting them like small gifts against your skin.

He likes to make you feel relaxed and more easy to 'dominate' so when he does strike you'll show little retaliation.

Gentle nips with added licks of his tongue to persuade amusing reactions from you.

Before sinking his teeth in and sucking at your skin roughly, he will add pressure because you know he wants to brag about this.

He cannot have disappointing neck bites for a result when he brags about how you're his.

He will not be happy but will understand if you hide your neck when leaving your house into public.

If he sees you leaving the house with a scarf on he will chuckle to himself with a massive smirk plastered across his face.

Nonstop teasing will ensue btw.

"A scarf in summer? Are you feeling okay Y/N?"

He will relish in the fact you're embarrassed over it and trying to act so calm around him.

However if you do decide to show it off it'll fill him with uncontrollable joy.

He will be smiling all day and keeping you by his side with the most smug and content face you've ever seen him have.

Either way he is gonna still love you and plan to keep marking you as his in the future.

Childe

You are his.

End of. You are just his.

Whether you agree or not he is going to leave a very sizable and noticeable hickey.

If you even attempt to refuse he will just laugh in his playful way while holding your hands above your head.

You are not escaping this.

He will bite down hard on purpose to just to hear you squeal and feel you squirm under his weight.

You are truly stunning to him and you drive him up the wall with how sexy you are, so he would be insane to not claim you immediately.

He definitely sees this as a territorial thing, almost a battle actually.

Sinking his teeth into your neck means he wins the fight however- and is made victorious by the fact you are now his and everyone is very much aware of this matter now.

You will NOT be allowed to hide it, at all. No, absolutely not.

You are his and everyone needs to know this as clearly as possible.

Wearing a scarf? He will pull it off.

Turtleneck? He will just tear the top of it completely off while giggling manically.

He won't brag per say but he will hold you to his hip with his arm round your hip, you are glued to him at this point.

He is allowed to be clingy and possessive now that you are officially his.

A dumb goofy grin plastered across his lips all day and everyday to come- as long as the hickey is still prominent.

The moment his mark starts to fade from your skin you can bet your life his mood will change and he will become like a tantrum child.

Eventually he will snap and just do it all over again- but if you mention it to him first and expose your neck to him he will in fact go buy a ring to propose to you later that day.

Its been made official, you are going to be his FOREVER.

Xiao

He's doing this for you. Be grateful.

Whose gonna fuck with you when you've been claimed by him?

It'll give him peace at mind to know your weak self is safe when he's not there to physically protect you.

It's one of the few ways to show and express he does actually care for you a great deal.

It's because he loves you but he'll never admit that. Not right now anyway.

He will keep it to himself that he also enjoys seeing you claimed by him. Despite being so weak and feeble he still wants you as his alone.

He doesn't know how to be smooth about doing it however.

He'll probably just hold you down and bite right in, probably mistake your cry of shocked pain as surprising pleasure.

But he'll mutter in a short breathy take; "Mine."

You know yourself your heart will flutter at that as you've got the angry adeptus now crazy enough about you that he needs to mark you.

The hickey will be very big and visible and probably hurt for a few days after still.

Slight stinging or aching because ya know, he used his demi god like power to just claim you.

But don't expect much sympathy from him, you wanna be with him then deal with the consequences honey.

He won't bother thinking about having to remark you however since he used enough strength and power to keep you marked for months.

However when he does clock onto the fact his hickey has faded from your neck he's gonna grow infuriated with the fact you haven't told him.

Are you trying to avoid being protected? Do you think you're allowed to go around without a trace of him on you? No.

"How are the other pathetic mortals suppose to know you're mine. Remind me next time understood? Tsk."

Albedo

He's not sure why he wants to do it, he doesn't often care for the physical aspects of a relationship.

But he wants to do it with you for some reason, it may even be because he knows you like it secretly.

He does seek to please everyone and you're no exception.

He'll do it very awkwardly at first- because he's so out of touch with being intimate.

Kissing your neck gently and softly running his hands up and down your body.

You'll be right in the thick of that warm fuzzy feeling of being close and intimate with him-

And then he just blurts out "Do I bite your neck now? Is that something you want?"

Completely destroys the mood- poor boy doesn't understand, forgive him.

You'll probably try stop it there but that will just spur him on so he'll end up suddenly sinking his teeth in anyway.

It'll feel good I can assure you that. Despite being so inexperienced with most intimate things he'll somehow manage to make it feel pleasurable.

Deep down he'll actually feel very happy that's he's been allowed to mark you as his. He's not a very primal type of guy. But he knows what this action means.

So when he sees you throughout the day he can't help but crack a small smile at the sight of his small dark hickey planted on your neck.

A sense of pride for some reason- being a man of science he'll back up this feeling with logical explanations.

He'll keep redoing it too when it starts to fade because he'll oddly start to enjoy doing it as well as seeing the reactions of other people when they see.

I think you just gave him another kink. Congratulations.

Zhongli

He'll find this very inappropriate.

Trying to be a gentleman an all- biting and marking you at the neck doesn't seem very sensible.

However he will have an inner voice urging him to comply with little restraint.

Deep down he's gonna be so thrilled you bought up the idea- and he's gonna also realise how much he actually wants to do it.

The bite will sting, mostly because he's probably unaware of just how strong he actually is compared to a mortal.

If he applies to much pressure and hears you let a sound of discomfort out he'll pull away and apologise.

He'll probably be a bit hesitant to try again- but if you keep pushing and asking he'll give into his inner voice again soon enough.

Doing it a lot more better next time around- kissing and licking along your neck slowly before planting the 'eternal kiss' as he likes to call it.

The hickey will be dark and big, very noticeable basically. It'll look more painful than it actually was- it was actually really pleasurable for the both of you.

Unbridled pride ensue afterwards however.

You'll see him have more of an upbeat attitude for the next few months.

If people notice and question he'll simply chuckle off the questioning to you.

Answering for you with sentences like "Well that's hardly any of your business good sir."

And when the time comes where the mark starts to fade he'll get an irritated itch scratching in his mind.

Till eventually you'll just hear him one day when you're both alone together just shyly say;

"Y/N. Do you... mind if I claim you again? The mark is fading and I'm ashamed to say but I can't stop wanting to put it back."

Venti

Hes too wholesome.

He'll probably be thinking about doing this like this to you alot. But he'll never voice them out to you.

YOU will have to be the one who asks him to do it.

He'll feel his heart flutter when you do and probably blush hard in response.

A stuttering and stumbling mess- he'll look so adorable it'll become too much to cope with at some points.

He'll be more than happy to comply however. Very excitedly getting closer to you and getting a bit carried away.

Planting quick soft kisses along your neck while muttering honey covered compliments to you.

Before swallowing down and then hyping himself up slightly inside before biting down on your skin.

Surprisingly nice feeling straight off.

Considering its his first time doing something like this, he's more than just good at it.

You'll be more than willing to show off the hickey your sweet anemo archon has given you.

He'll be blushing more than you will if people question its sudden appearance and whereabouts.

Giggling and chuckling and just planting a soft kiss on his cheek to soften his nerves and embarrassment.

Give him time to get use to doing something like this, it's all new to him.

However once he does get over his initial embarrassment he'll become rather... different.

He'll start biting you more often before the old hickeys even begin to fade. Eventually you'll be painted in hickeys all over your neck.

He's gonna get too into it. But his new found likeness in claiming you has awoken something in him and he wants to do it more and more. Becoming more dominant and daring.

You've possibly planted a seed of a growing beast now. Too late to back out however. Goodluck.

Diluc

He doesn't wanna do it at first, at all.

He thinks it's slightly wrong of him to impose on you in such a way.

He doesn't think it's right because he'll find it like an attempt to own you which he doesn't wanna do.

He wants you to himself of course but he wants to make sure you're comfortable and have your own say.

However if you do ask him nice enough and beg with just the right amount of puppy eyes and pouty lip he'll eventually waver and give in.

Hes very smooth and straight to the point.

He'll hold you against him with a strong warm embrace while kissing against your neck.

His hot lips pressing against your skin before saying "You wanted this. So don't kick a fuss later."

And with that he'll sink his teeth in. It'll hurt a little but the sting will mix with the sensation of pleasure and just become enjoyable.

He'll suck on the skin somewhat a little roughly and make sure the mark is big and noticeable.

Mostly because he'll get carried away. Having finally been able to dive into his own urges a little there himself.

Faint blushes will ensue the next time you're out and you've chosen to not hide the mark.

People staring and muttering while you're beside him and his hickey on your neck is on full display.

Embarrassment will grip hold of him a lot but eventually he'll begin to feel happy inside.

You were wanting of this and that's all that matters.

He's been able to claim you and your beautiful body to himself- with your entire consent. Nothing could be better.

He'll be too busy to notice it fading however.

So if you want him to do it again you'll have to remind him, which he'll just smile too and beckon you over to do so again.

However on the odd moments where he's speaking with you and does glance to your neck to see the mark is fading he'll not think twice about just suddenly mentioning it to you.

"Y/N. Come here, the mark is fading. I need to do it again. I don't want people to forget who you belong to now."

What happened to that attitude before about not wanting to own someone Diluc? Mhm.

Note to you lot, this post was a draft looooong before we added Kazuha to the list; so I am sorry for anyone who wanted to see Kazuha here but it just wasn't made at that time and this was a small back up post I made months ago. - Mod Diluc

[syrma-sensei]

Moon's Scarab → Ch. 5: Ghosts.

Marc Spector x Layla El-Faouly.

pre-canon fic; based on the Marvel comics and Disney's series Moon Knight.

warning: violence, cursing, angst, mentions of child abuse, smut maybe in the future (?), the majority of spoken Arabic in this story is in Egyptian dialect.

taglist: @kesskirata, @zinzinina, @psithurista, @urlocallsimp, @marcspectrr, @marcskywalker, @sherlolly-siya , @nowritingonthewall...

tell me if you wanna be added to the taglist!

beta-read by: @marcspectrr

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Marc Spector

Not a single night passes without Marc remembering each life he's taken; doesn't matter whether when he was a government agent, a lowly mercenary, or a god's avatar. He remembers them all; each face, name, and place. A daily torture led by the ghost of his baby brother each night, and the slahes of his mother's whip; he still feels the reminiscent of it stinging his body, even though the marks have long disappeared.

Marc's only time of rest is when his alter fronts, when he plunges into his own headspace, paralysed, numb, and unable to move; just sinking into the obscurity of murky darkness. It's been a while though, since the last time Steven surfaced, Marc even began to suspect that the former faded away and left him like everyone did. But no, a couple days ago, he felt it again. He felt Steven was there, when he shoved monetarily into his headspace. However, something was strange about it, indeed it was for mere moments, but he felt different, something sly and stealthy he couldn't quite point his fingers on it. Nevertheless, Marc didn't dwell on it too much, because he had more important shit to do than blacking out and surrender.

And fuck, Frenchie was right. Fuck, as much as Marc hates to admit it, but his buddy is always right. When he asked him about coming face to face with this again. In all honesty, Marc didn't take it too seriously. Because what are the odds of bumping into the daughter of the Abdullah El-Faouly? The last person he'd wish to meet, the one whom he didn't recognize their existence until very recently.

Turned out that Miss El-Faouly is no less venturesome than her father, but unlike him, she's obviously unaware of the danger she put herself into. The girl is fearless, unruly, or at least that's what Marc could see during the few minutes he spent interrogating her. But Marc knew better, with a risky life like the one she leads, any slip would jeopardize her safety. And from what appears, Miss El-Faouly isn't aware of the huge slip she made; keeping the jade-eyed idol of Sekhmet to herself.

That's where he decided to step in.

“That woman shouldn't be of any concern of yours,”

That's what his god told him —sulked about is more to it— when Marc was trying to locate her and the ones who are lurking around her with not so good intentions.

“Keeping people safe from evildoers is what Moon Knight does, right?” Marc snickers at his god, looking sideways at him, “That's what I must do. Or does it always have to come after the deed as vengeance?”

Marc's jaw was ticking, his eyes are glaring, insolent. The brazen behaviour was making his body cringe and coil on the inside more than it already was. His heart racing up. Marc's a stubborn one, of course. But he never is defiant to Khonshu. He doesn't defy the latter, won't, can't. Marc knows that without Khonshu, he's practically nothing, and perhaps below nothing.

Khonshu grumbles, but Marc adds, “If we catch one of those guys, then we'll have a lead to start with. Plus, didn't you say you don't wanna have Sekhmet's statue in the wrong hands?”

Even so, Marc can't tell Khonshu why he's really desperate to secure the young lady and make sure she's safe; he and Khonshu aren't buddies after all. But in truth, Marc can't have two El-Faouly's dead because of him. No, he can't let that happen.

Tracking down Miss El-Faouly isn't hard really, she's a full-time student at Cairo University —or so it seems— and lives in a humble flat in the large capital. Marc studies her routine for a couple of days before barking again into her life just to disappear as fast again.

In downtown, Miss El-Faouly has a favourite spot, a quiet coffeeshop, where she drinks a cup of delicious coffee and studies. Marc visited the place and the area around to form a strategy how to have the men at his advantage. He doesn't want to use the armour, or at least he doesn't want to summon it if it's not necessary.

However, it didn't go as he initially planned, and he had to summon the suit, and she saw it. And fuck, the terrified face she drew almost hurt him, and it tugs when she pushes away from him at first.

She grimaces when he emits from his suit, “What the hell was that?”

Miss El-Faouly grunts as she takes his hands, looking at him with big, beautiful eyes. He finds his eyes linger on hers for moment before he snaps out of it.

“I'll explain later,” He says gruffly, “We need to get to your place before more come after you.”

Fortunately, she doesn't argue further. Miss El-Faouly wanders her eyes around for a minute, gulping, before nodding silently and leading the way to her home.

•••

The journey to her apartment is silent, which Marc really appreciates. But the thing that almost gets on his nerves was that the toktok driver who has no intention to shut up about the increasing price of fuel, insinuating that he's going to demand an extra amount of money because of it.

Marc fights the urge not to roll his eyes, and control the whim to set a punch right in the guy's face. Luckily, thanks for years of practice, Marc calms his alarmed nerves, or at least shrugs that primal need of violence off.

In an attempt to distract himself from the proximity to Layla El-Faouly, and the gibberish of that driver, Marc gazes aimlessly at Cairo's street. However, the young woman's scent is overpowering his senses. She smells of sweet things, caressing his skin like soft, soft marshmallow.

Fuck, Marc nearly hisses under his breath. His eyes are looking but not exactly seeing anything special. He's been in Egypt before, when he first became Khonshu's Fist. He spent some time here for Moon Knight-y business, before leaving to track down the ones Khonshu wanted them punished. It became a more difficult task after the disassemble of the Avengers; Sokovia Accords made his mission a lot harder than before. Because if he's ever caught using super powers, his life would fuck up entirely. They're going to study his supernatural gifts and they're going to find out that it's not human's nor alien's, but a god's, and most people didn't have good experience with the either of the last two in the recent years.

An avatar of mythical, lunar god? Ha, if they deemed him dangerous and unqualified to be a hero, which is most likely to happen, because of course, they'd find out about his broken self and his dark past, and that will drag him, most likely, into some psych ward or a prison or even worse.

However here, in Egypt, he can be a bit more comfortable with his vigilante business; it's still turbulent, and in complete chaos, much like his soul. Perhaps that's why he feels a sense of familiarity in this country, because what he and it suffering is one.

Marc snaps out of the train of his thoughts when the toktok stops.

Luckily for him, Miss El-Faouly handles the driver and tips him off without much ruckus. When the small vehicle drives off, the two give a quick scan of their surroundings before make it to the building gate.

Once in her flat, and the door is closed shut behind them, the young woman slides a dagger out of her pocket in such agility Marc rarely sees, and points it at his neck.

“Who the hell are you?” She hisses.

For a moment, Marc stills and his eyes dilate in awe; his reflexes are normally faster than his mind, and his body acts before his commands. How the hell was that happening?!

Marc's eyes don't leave her fierce ones; big and burning, and he notices the way her body shivers lightly. Perhaps the adrenaline is still rushing through her blood and her whole body is alert.

Marc decides to appear harmless and raises his hands, “What do you mean, Miss El-Faouly?”

The latter groans, tugging on his collar, “Don't play dumb, it's not gonna get you anywhere, so don't even try. I saw you getting out of... of those mummy wrappings or whatever the hell they were. Are you a dead man or something? A walking zombie?”

“No, I assure you I'm as alive as you are,” He says through gritted teeth.

“Then what the hell are you?”

“Okay, okay,” Marc breathes in then out, his voice low.

Since he never is good at words, he rather shows her, because fuck it, she already did see it. Marc closes his eyes, rummaging through his depths; his core where the connection he and his god have lies, within his soul, and it kicks in. The fierce woman's eyes go wide when his eyes glow into crescents then full, gleaming moons. She stands in awe as the timeless power swallows him hallow. Gold pads and greyish fabric roll down his shoulders and arms, and a chest plate emits from the centre of his heart —where a carved, golden crescent within a silver full moon is embedded— and threads out from his front to his back, while his legs and feet are engulfed in sturdy, white leather. The hood of his cape crane up over his head as the mask of Moon Knight covers his face. Marc feels overpowered and extremely strained at the same time, the two excessive edges of having these godly powers, he feels as if he's an interdimensional being; ageless, relentless, flawless.

The dagger lands on the floor with a loud clang as the coiled-haired woman is in pure astonishment. Her eyes try to fathom what she's beholding, her lips crack open to say something, but nothing comes off that smart mouth, just a mere whisper, “What are you?”

Her eyes ram down to his thighs, and she catches the balck hieroglyphs ornamenting the leather, “The Protector Soldier of the Moon.” She utters, voice hushed. Her widened eyes come back to his masked face.

“You... you're an—”

“Avatar.” Marc's hood and mask fade away as he looks at the bemused woman gingerly, his hands defensive. “You're an archeologist, Miss El-Faouly, you surely have heard of Khonshu, the Egyptian god of the moon, hm?”

Her eyes blinks away, pupils still wide as saucers. She takes air in then breathes out, gazing back at him. “Yes,” Her voice is hushed. “Yes, of course I have,” She gulps, shaking her head, “So you're telling me, you're Khonshu's avatar?”

Marc's tongue darts out to wet his lips. He closes his eyes for a second while nodding, “I know it seems preposterous and nonsensical but—”

“Oh my God,” She gasps, “Oh my God, my father was right, he was always right,”

Marc watches her move aside while passing a hand over her sweating face, “The Egyptian gods do walk among us,” Her lips draw a private grin as she looks back at him. Marc nods gingerly, the ceremonial suit of Khonshu's temple vanishes piece by piece, and he takes deep breaths.

“Does he like... talk to you...?” She raises a brow at him.

He never shuts up, that's what he was going to say before a grumbling voice cuts him off, “Don't you dare tell her anything further, Marc Spector,”

A quiver passes through the latter's body, and he tears his face away from her, “I-It's a bit complicated how he and I communicate,”

“Oh,”

Marc looks at her again in the eye, face back to its stern frown again, “The statue,” He reminds her, raising his brows up.

“Ah, yeah, yeah, sure.” She threads her way inside her bedroom, and Marc could've sworn he heard her muttering in Arabic though he can't make out what she's uttering in that muffled voice.

After several minutes, she emerges from the room with the idol cradled in her arms. He takes a step towards her but she backs away. “What are you gonna do with it?”

His stretched hand drops to his side as his eyes avert her gaze for a moment then go back to her again, “Gonna use it to lure in Mr. Profile, then I'll give it back to its rightful owner. Masr.”

“What about me?”

Marc answers almost instantly, “As for you, you're gonna hide for a while and lay low, till I finish this.”

She opens her mouth to say something but he doesn't let her, “Don't worry, you'll be under my protection; I have another safe house here in Egypt, you can use it till this is done.”

“What?!”

“As you heard, Miss El-Faouly.”

The burning fire rekindles within the brown of her eyes, the same way his chest sets on fire again. This woman is unbelievable, her affect on him is already starting to freak him out. No, he knows she isn't the one doing this, rather the looming ghost of her father over her is.

“The other day, you said you're on a mission to stop a bunch of bad guys.” Miss El-Faouly states gingerly.

Marc glances at her, nodding slightly, “Yeah, I did, and I'm still on that mission.”

She gazes down at the floor, and moves her crossed arms in a nervous way, then looks up at him again, “I want to be in.”

Marc's face deadpans, “Ms. El-Faouly, I also told you that I work alon—”

She cuts him off impatiently, “They have something to do with my father.”

At the new information, Marc stills as though a bucket of iced water is thrown over his entire body, the pale face of Abdullah El-Faouly is staring right into him. His eyebrow twitches, and his jaw ticks. Nevertheless, he conceals any sign of emotion, and asks.

“How did you learn that?”

“On that day of the operation, heard Mr. Profile speaking to his buyer about this...” She points her hand at the idol, “My father and I were the ones to first discover it, he said baba used to work for them.”

Marc's shoulders go stiff for a moment, the tip of his stomach coiling horribly.

Fuck, Bushman never told him they were hired to do dirty work for a vile organisation. To think of it, Bushman never divulge any detail to him in the first place. Perhaps the mercenary predicted that he'd not allow casualties on the mission, which explains the last minute change of heart Bushman had. Because it was all planned out from the outset, and Marc was nothing but a puppet, his strings being pulled by his partner and this depraved system.

Marc feels a bit nauseous.

“Could be lying,” He says roughly; he's lying to himself more than to her.

The doctor's daughter shakes her head, “He also mentioned something about destroying beautiful countries like Masr. Do you think they have something to do with all of what's happening here?”

Marc licks his lower lip, his eyes never leaving hers. Wordlessly, he nods affirmatively.

“Whatever you're gonna do to stop them, I'm coming with you.” Ms. El-Faouly asserts.

“What? No!” Marc scowls at her.

“Look, I'm not gonna hide for God knows how long in one of your safe houses and do nothing against the ones who possibly have killed my father and aiming to destroy my country.”

They didn't kill your father, I did. He wants desperately to tell her that, to kneel before her and ask for forgiveness. But he can't, he just can't. If what she's claiming turns out to be true, it's his duty to help her find out about the truth and clear her father's name if that's possible, it's the least thing he could do to atone for his sin beside protecting his only daughter.

Marc takes in a long breath, before embarking on his last attempt to discourage her from doing so, “Ms. El-Faouly, please, it's not like what you're thinking, it's too dangerous—”

“I don't give a fuck,”

Marc stops when he sees her lips quivering and the tears gathering around her eyes; the anger swarming within those dark orbs, he can feel the fire searing right through him.

Marc is beaten, he sighs. “Okay, but know it's my mission, and it's gonna be by my rules.”

Ms. El-Faouly nods firmly, a silent promise.

Marc nods too and claps his hands slightly, “Pack up, only the essentials, we don't want anybody to suspect you're gone if they decide to break in here.”

Ms. El-Faouly nods again, and heads to her bedroom again but before she enters, she hauls, and turns her head to him and asks, “Didn't catch your name yet by the way,”

“Spector, the name's Marc Spector.”

[ficsforeren]

The Secrets Between Us - Chapter 11

Series Masterlist

IRREPLACEABLE

Pairing: Eren Jaeger X Female Reader feat. Levi and Armin

Genre: Royalty AU, Knights AU, Smut, Fluff, Romance, Angst

Word Count: 10K

Series Summary: As the only princess of The Paradis Kingdom, your life has been decided from the first day you were born. By the time you turn eighteen, you will be betrothed to Prince Armin, uniting two powerful kingdoms as one. Everything began to change, however, once you saw a beautiful boy lying unconscious in the forest behind your castle. His name is Eren, and he’s lost his memories. You invited him into your home, not knowing that he came from house Jaeger—the family that was massacred by your ancestors nearly a hundred years before, seeking revenge.

Chapter Summary: With your future husband’s arrival in your castle, you are constantly reminded that the time you’re spending with him is about to end. It is time for both you and Eren to make your decision, either to run away together or stay in Armin’s arms for the sake of your kingdom.

Warnings (including for future chapters): explicit sex, adultery, mentions of blood and death

Poster art by the most talented @rainbuniart (follow her on Twitter)

Why is he here? Spring is still a month away, why is Prince Armin here?

The thoughts that echoed through your mind were louder than thunder that you wished you could mute them altogether. It was in the middle of the winter and you were breaking into a cold sweat. Your body had gone autopilot, following everything Petra ordered you to do while your attention drifted somewhere else. Your maid assisted you to dress to perfection, making sure that the little love bites Eren had placed upon your skin were covered thickly with powder. “Breathe,” Petra reminded you, noticing you’d gone pale. “You can do this.”

“Do what?” You let her brush your hair back, too restless to even notice the pain when she carded through tangled strands. “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do.” Grabbing a section of your hair, she divided them into three, crossing them to form a braid to add another layer of beauty to your appearance. “What is he doing here, Petra?”

“I don’t know, Princess." The weariness in her voice was crystal. "You have to question him yourself. I'm just a maid.”

“It’s all so sudden. I’m—” You couldn't take a deep breath even if you tried. Your chest was so full of emotions, it was beginning to suffocate you. Is this how a panic attack feels like? “Petra, what if he’s here to—”

“Hey,” Petra cupped your cheeks with both hands, stopping your body from shaking. The intensity of her gaze snapped you out of your reverie. “Don’t think about anything else. Just greet him, welcome him into our kingdom. That’s all you have to do for now. Understand?”

Though her chide was firm, her touch evoked the memory of how your mother used to comfort you, keeping your feelings in place. You nodded, taking a seat in front of your vanity mirror as ordered. Petra leaned closer, whispering to your ear, “Don’t make your Kingsguard worry any more than this.” 

Through the mirror, you could view Eren standing a couple of meters away behind you, his back pressed against the brick wall, his arms laid stiff on his sides. He was dressed back into his clothes, a white linen shirt with a black leather jacket, and matching trousers with knee-high boots. His hair that was once disheveled from how often you enmesh your fingers around his locks, was neatly tied back in a ponytail with a few stray hairs falling to his forehead. His face remained pensive, dark eyebrows furrowing as he immersed deep within his thoughts. It was when he caught your reflection that he smiled a little. It was forced, never reaching his eyes, like a smile that you’d display as you bid farewell to your loved ones, not knowing whether you could see them ever again.

And at that moment, for the first time in your life, you witnessed fear in his eyes.

Eren was fearless, he always had been, no matter in what situation he was in. Even Levi admitted it and he had seen him in battles, even when he was putting his life on the line. He was always brave and determined, and you admired him for it. But right now, even in his reticence, he reminded you of a boy about to be abandoned by his mother.

It was as if he knew you were about to say goodbye.

Your heart plummeted to your stomach. What if I don’t have any time left? What if Prince Armin is here to marry me? You nibbled on your quivering lip, heart palpitating. What if I don't have time until spring? Is this it? Am I really going to throw everything we have away just like this?

“Princess.” 

You blinked twice. "Sorry, Petra." You stood up and let her smoothen down your dress one last time as she did a double-take. “You look beautiful,” she said, smiling softly before she squeezed your shoulders. “Try to refrain yourself from overthinking. Perhaps he’s just here to visit you because he missed you.”

You forced yourself to smile. “I’ll try.”

There was sadness in her eyes when she looked at you and it crushed you even more. She gathered you in her arms, loudly wishing you good luck to keep Eren from noticing but in whispers, she added, “Don’t cry. Not in front of him if you don’t want to break his heart even further than this.”

You ironed your lips together, nodding once. When you closed your eyes, you could feel your eyelashes turning wet with unshed tears. You held onto her when she was about to break away and Petra understood. She gave you the time you needed to collect yourself. She could feel you shuddering, a quiet sob escaping your mouth but nothing else. Stroking your back, she granted you a tender smile when you were ready to let her go. "You'll be fine," she mouthed before she turned around, clapping her hands once to garner Eren's attention. “Okay, now off, you two. We can’t keep the future king waiting for too long.” She addressed you with a formal bow. “If you need me, you know where to find me, Princess.”

“Thank you, Petra.”

Petra was about to march away when Eren advanced slowly toward you. Landing a hand on his shoulder, she said, “He's waiting in the throne room with the first prince. Behave. You’re her Kingsguard and nothing more.” But it was a gentle reminder instead of a warning, Eren knew that. If he acted out and stepped over the line, it would only bring nothing but shame and trouble to all of you.

Eren kept his eyes glued to the mirror, staring at yours as he solemnly said, “I understand.”

With a heavy heart, Petra exited the room.

The silence wasn’t a stranger to either of you but it never felt this crushing before. You whirled around to face him, a hand placed on your chest as if you were trying to keep your heart from jumping out of your ribcages. “H-how do I look?” you asked in an attempt to distract him.

He was your kingsguard and nothing more, it was a thought that should be engraved deeply into your head but for a brief instant, none of you cared. He kissed you, smashed his lips against yours, smothering you with his passion. You held onto his wrist as he angled your face, pouring everything he felt about you into that one kiss and nothing more. By the time he released you, he couldn't meet your eyes.

“We should go,” he stoically suggested, already pivoting on his heels. “Your prince awaits.”

The warm, kind-hearted Eren that painted loving words on your skin just a moment ago was gone. Right now, he was playing a role. A role that sickened you both, a status that you wished you could abandon along with your own.

He was your Kingsguard and nothing more.

***

“Princess!”

A handsome young man with bright blue eyes hastily ran to your spot as soon as you walked into his view. To anyone else in the room, his reaction was pure and charming, like a little boy reuniting with his first love, even when he inadvertently cut your brother in the middle of his sentence to greet you.

“H-hello, Prince Arlert.” He must have thought you were nervous from the way you greeted him. In reality, it took almost all the strength in your body to keep your feet in place. 

“Armin,” he corrected with a brilliant smile. “You’re as beautiful as I remember you to be, if not more.”

“Oh…” You brought your gaze to your feet, not out of bashfulness, but distress. “Thank you, my lord. I apologize for taking a while to greet you. I wasn’t aware that you’d be visiting me this soon. Especially at this hour.”

“No, please, raise your head. I am the one who should be apologizing.” His hands moved animatedly in the air, slightly panicking at the sight of you bowing your head formally. “We were supposed to arrive before sunset but one of our carriages broke down so we had to wait for a few hours. I’m here to meet your brilliant apothecary, Hange Zoe. She’s been helping me to create medicines for my father. We have spoken a few times through letters but words don’t seem to suffice, so I thought I’d pay her a visit. Well, that and umm...” he hesitated, dragging his eyes away with a faint blush spreading on his cheeks. “I wanted to see you. Spring is still a month away but I can’t seem to wait that long. I... I've missed you...”

“Oh…” You hid your hands behind your back, afraid that he might catch the tremble that ran through your fingertips. Eren was positioned just a few steps behind you, making you ponder about his reaction upon hearing the man's words. 

Stop it. Stop thinking about him.

“I—I hope that’s okay?” Armin quickly added, noticing the troubled look on your face. "Did I say something out of line?"

Pull yourself together! “Of course, it’s okay. I—” Your breath hitched in your throat. “I wanted to see you too.” You hated yourself for lying. Hated even more that you had to do it in front of the person that you loved. 

Not utterly convinced by your words, Armin continued apologizing, fretting that he might bother you for a different reason. “I am truly sorry, Princess. I know it’s very inconvenient to visit you at this hour. I’ve told your maid that it was fine not to wake you up but—”

“It’s all right, really. I wasn’t sleeping anyway.” The words slipped out of your mouth before you could think them through.

“You weren’t?” He raised a questioning brow. “But it’s past midnight. Have you been having trouble sleeping? Pardon me—” Before you knew it, you felt Armin’s hand on your face, carefully tilting it up so he could examine your features. 

You could sense Eren tensing behind you, could hear his stifled gasp and you promptly took a step back, breaking free from his touch. The prince, noticing your discomfort, hurriedly retracted his hand, cheeks reddening even more vividly now. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—” He fumbled. “I just—I thought you seemed a little bit pale so without thinking, I—”

“Ah, yes, must be from the lack of sleep.” You masked your anxiety with a burst of tiny laughter. “Please do not worry about me, Prince Armin. I became too invested with the book I was reading that I lost track of time. It’s a bad habit of mine.”

After a pause, he released his breath. “I can relate to that.” He seemed relieved, smiling more freely. “Well, I must not keep you awake for long. It is best for us to talk in the morning.”

“Yes, as you also need to rest.”

“I suppose I do, although I still have something urgent to discuss with your brother.” Gently, he reached out to take your hand and you allowed him because that was what you were supposed to do. He brushed his lips against your knuckles, gazing affectionately into your eyes as he murmured, “Good night, Princess.”

You wished for him to say goodbye instead of good night and you felt guilty at the thought. A smile naturally found a way to your lips, out of necessity, not affection. 

“Good night, Prince Armin.”

***

“You should rest,” Eren stated once you took a step inside your chamber. His tone was uncharacteristically cold as if he was hiding something. He didn’t follow you inside, stopping near the doorframe. “I will wait outside.” 

It was… unbearable to be in the same room with him as there were thousands of words that needed to be spoken, thousands of questions needed to be answered but none of you were brave to even utter a single word. 

Perhaps it was wiser to take some time apart so you could both think about your actions and the decision you have to make. But time never stopped ticking, and you didn't want to spend what was left of it by thinking. You wanted to feel him. To be with him.

You turned on your heels, not meeting his eyes as you pushed his leather jacket off his shoulder. “Princess,” he clamped his fingers around your wrist. “We shouldn’t.” But there was no strength, both in his hold and his voice, so when you pressed your lips on the corner of his mouth, Eren let out a broken sigh.

“Stay,” you whispered, laying a hand above his heart, feeling it pound underneath his warm skin. “I don’t want to be alone.”

There was a battle inside his head and you could feel him slightly breaking away before he gave up entirely. When he shut the door behind him, he didn’t shower you with kisses like before. He closed the distance and leaned in to loosen the straps of your gown, letting it slide to the floor, leaving you in nothing but your chemise. You helped him dismantle his jacket and Eren kicked his boots away, his hands unbuckling the belt and his sword dropped to the wooden floor with a small thud.

Eren did not kiss you, at least not on the lips and you knew the reason. You both felt too guilty to act as lovers, now that your future husband was sleeping under the same roof. It felt like you were committing a crime, even just by being in the same room with him already felt like one. It felt like a lifetime ago when you were gasping his name and he was moaning yours in ecstasy, in passion, in love.

The white linen shirt he was wearing hung loose on his body and you could catch a glimpse of his bare chest as he laid down next to you. You leaned in to press a tender kiss to his cheek to ease the tension, but even just that already felt like a strain. “Rest now,” he murmured, swatting the stray hairs out of your face. “I’ll stay here until you fall asleep.”

You nodded, silencing the voices in your head that begged him to stay longer, to stay forever in your arms even when fate decided to be cruel. You shifted to your side and Eren embraced you from behind, his hand cupping the back of your palm as they rested above your stomach.

You closed your eyes, wanting to feel nothing. Nothing at all but him. “I love you,” you couldn’t speak louder than a whisper, afraid that he might hear the tremble in your voice and notice that you were on the verge of breaking apart.

It took him a few seconds before he answered, his lips brushing against your hair. “I love you too.” Unconsciously, he grasped your hand a little tighter as if you were about to slip away. Even when he was pressed against you, the next words he spoke nearly fell out of your range. “More than anything. More than anyone.”

You threw a lid over your emotions, forcing yourself not to cry, or else you’d tear him apart. You kept your eyes shut, steadied your breathing, and stayed still.

Time seemed to progress slowly when you were pretending so you couldn’t tell whether minutes or a few seconds had passed when he finally discovered his voice. “Princess,” you heard him call softly. You kept your body immobile even when your heart nearly burst out of your chest.

“She’s fallen asleep…” he mumbled to himself, a mix between a question and a statement. You couldn’t recognize whether he was disappointed or relieved. Eren held you closer, the tip of his nose buried in the strands of your hair. “Princess…” He breathily said, “I wish I could marry you…”

Your heart stopped.

The fire crackling in the fireplace sounded louder than his breathing, even when his lips were brushing against your hairline as he spoke. There was a moment where you could feel him shivering behind you, whispering your name so quietly as if it would tear him apart to say it loudly.

You continued pretending while you listened intently to every word, every little sound he made but Eren was quiet. So quiet that you thought he was falling asleep. Then there was a sob, very faint or maybe there was nothing, and your mind was just playing tricks on you, you weren’t sure. But when he spoke again, you could hear how his voice broke just as much as his heart did.

He sniffled once before his voice sounded clearer. “There are so many things I want to tell you,” he admitted, “But I know that saying this out loud will only hurt us both so…” Eren closed his eyes, sinking further into the comfort of your pillow. “Now that you’re asleep, I’ll take this chance to get everything out of my chest.”

Your heartbeat blasted thunderously in your ears and you had to remind yourself several times to keep your breathing even.

"I wish I was born as royalty so I could be worthy of your love,” he started, “But then again, perhaps it would be better if you weren't born as a princess. I think life would be easier if we were just two normal people. You could be a daughter of a baker, and I could be the son of a mason. And we would meet each other by fate as two innocent children, with nothing to worry about except for the imaginary monsters we built in our heads." You could sense his smile in his line. "We'd grow up together with me getting into fistfights with boys that didn't treat you right, and with you sneaking out of your shop every morning to hand me freshly baked bread that you tried to make with your tiny hands. You'd ask whether it tasted better than the one you gave me the day before. And I’d probably tease you about it, saying that it tasted worst just to see you pout. I’ve always liked seeing you pout. It makes me want to kiss you even more.”

Blood rushed fast to your cheeks. Calm down, don’t make a move.

"And by the time we grow older,” Eren continued, mumbling to himself. “I would tell you how I feel, how I have loved you for years, how I’d been wanting to start a family with you. You'd hesitate at first, afraid that taking my hand would ruin our friendship, would ruin what we have. And I'd try my best to convince you, telling you that no matter what the future may hold for us, there’s one thing I feel for certain and that’s how my feelings for you would never change. I have loved you for years and I'd love you for decades more. That, I know for sure, would not change."

The thought of a younger version of you and Eren walking side-by-side in a small town warmed up your chest. The images he gave you were vivid, making your heart pulse with bittersweet sceneries. 

Tell me more.

"And within the following month, I'd ask you to marry me because I couldn't wait. Just making you mine wouldn't be enough, I want to make a vow on it. I want our Lord, want everyone to witness our love. I want them to know that you belong to me as much as I belong to you, and how I would take care of you until death do us part. I’d go down on one knee and ask for your hand, and you'd tell me yes before I could finish my speech. I would pull you into my arms and we would laugh as we kiss.”

Your lips trembled as you tried to will your tears away. How could he say something so beautiful and crush your heart with it at the same time?

“We'd build a cottage near the lake we used to swim in together in the summer. It would take months for me to finish and you'd kiss me on the cheek whenever I felt dissatisfied with my work, telling me to be patient. Seeing your smile, I'd get back to my feet again, and I’d keep working until I could no longer move my limbs. I’d make our house look so beautiful with a room where you could store your books on the shelves because I know how much you like reading.

"I like to imagine having kids together with you. Two—maybe three little children—a handsome boy and two beautiful girls who’d resemble their mother so much. You would teach them about the world, teach them how to show respect to the elders, and I would teach them to love you because that's what you deserve. 

"During the day, you would make me soup from the vegetables I’ve planted in our backyard. At night, I would make a campfire outside so we could lie down under the night sky, sharing one blanket with you nuzzling your nose in the crook of my neck. We would name every little star we could find and make up stories around them. You could be very talkative once you get too immersed in your story and I'd lean in to kiss you just because you look so pretty that night. You'd pout at me for interfering with your story and I'd kiss your nose and tell you how much I loved you. And when we made love under the stars, I would make sure to kiss you as much as I could, as long as you would let me, so you’d know that for me…”

Eren paused to take a shaky breath, his hold around your hand tightened. “For me, there would be no life without you.”

Tears were falling. You couldn’t stop them, but you bit your lip as hard as you could to contain little whimpers from escaping. Eren must have been so distraught by his thoughts that he missed the little quiver that ran through your shoulders.

“Back then at the infirmary,” he murmured, “When you first told me you loved me, I thought... Is it okay for me to be this happy? It felt so unreal to have someone like you, someone as kind and as beautiful as you to love me back. Knowing how important you were to your family—this status you have—I was prepared to be rejected. It was only natural for you to walk away from me—a princess shouldn’t have involved herself with a knight or a servant. So when you kissed me, when you told me you loved me…” There was a noticeable crack in his voice, releasing a shaky breath. “My heart was beating so fast I thought I was about to die.” The tiny laughter that broke past his lips only had sadness, and a hint of loneliness in it. “Even if I did, I would’ve died without any regret. Just knowing that you feel the same way, there’s nothing else I wanted more in this world.”

You could sense the sincerity in his words and under different circumstances, these words would've made your heart swell with joy. But right now, you had to press your lips together into a thin line just to stop the tears from welling in your eyes.

“But then I got greedy," Eren continued, growing even quieter as if he was revealing a secret. "And I became selfish. Just being with you isn’t enough. I want you for myself. I want you to want me just as much. I want you to think about no one else but me. It’s sickening, I know, for someone as low as me to yearn for you. But… whenever I see you smiling at me…” He drawled on his words, losing strength in his voice. “I feel… like I could do it…” His breathing got even. “I feel like I could… make you happy and…” His hold around your hand started to loosen and you couldn’t make out the rest of his sentence. 

Eren had fallen asleep.

You slowly opened your eyes. “Eren…?” He didn’t respond. Carefully, you spun around in his arms. Eren was sleeping soundly, warm breath flowing out of his parted lips. He seemed just like a little boy, falling asleep on his mother’s lap after spending hours running in the field. So innocent, so handsome, so young. But the admiration in your heart was soon replaced by sadness once you noticed that his eyelashes were wet with the tears he'd tried his best to fight back. Without thinking, you laid a hand on his cheek as your own vision began to blur. He stirred in his sleep, frowning at the coldness of your palm. Your name escaped his lips and that was the final blow, shattering the bottle you tried to keep your emotions locked inside and they came back like a hurricane.

So you bit your lip as hard as you could and let your tears stain your cheeks. 

And you hoped, he wouldn’t wake up to witness it.

***

The sun did not shower you with its warmth that morning and it hadn’t been for a while but today, it felt colder. The winter breeze bit into your skin, painting scarlet to the tip of your nose and ears. 

“I hope you don’t mind me bringing him along,” you said as you took a step into the garden behind your castle, tightening your woolen coat around your body to keep you warm. “It's his duty as my Kingsguard to accompany me wherever I go.”

“A Kingsguard, huh?” Armin’s eyes glazed with admiration as he threw a look over his shoulder, glancing at the man who followed silently just a few steps behind you. “We don’t have elite bodyguards in our palace so this is quite fascinating. Perhaps I should consider forming one.” He stopped on his tracks, turning to face your knight, and with the snow blanket unfolding behind him, his sapphire blue eyes were almost breathtaking. “Can I ask for your name?”

Eren, dressed in formal attire with a black cloak concealing most of his figure, raised his face. “Eren,” he answered, firm and stoic. There was no warmth in his voice nor his gaze. “It’s Eren Kruger, my lord.”

Seeing the two men exchange stares made you anxious but Armin didn't seem to mind his attitude at all, wasn’t even aware of the tension that surrounded you. “How old are you?”

“Nineteen, my lord.”

“Ah, then we’re in the same age!” He clapped his hand once, a spark of excitement fleeting through his eyes. “To be frank, I’m very surprised. I thought you were older.”

Eren scrunched his nose, slightly irked and somehow, despite everything that happened, you found a scarce of strength within you to smile. It was impressive for Armin to be able to break through his facade, capable of pulling a reaction out of him, even if it was only for a little.

“Oh, don’t get me wrong!” The Prince hurriedly stated. “It’s not because of your face or anything. It’s the way you carry yourself around us. You seem mature, that was the word I intended to say, forgive me. And you’re surprisingly tall for a teen.”

“You’re surprisingly short for a prince,” Eren spat back before he could control himself. There was a few seconds of silence where nobody spoke a word. You stared in horror between the two men, afraid that it would infuriate the future king. But to your astonishment, Armin was laughing.

“Indeed, yes, I am short, though not that surprising. Once you see my father, you’ll understand.” He was so amused, his eyes were turning into a pair of crescents. “Sometimes I even worry that people might not take us seriously because of our height.”

You gave Eren a side-eye, clearing your throat so he'd notice his mistake. “Forgive me,” Eren said though he could’ve put more effort to sound remorseful. “That was very impolite of me.”

“Nonsense, I like it. I appreciate honesty.” The young prince beamed at him, even catching the other man off guard with his cheerful grin. “Eren, was it? You can call me Armin.”

“My Lord, that would be very rude of me—”

“I insist.” He dragged his gaze back to you. “I would also like it better if you could drop the title and call me by my name, Princess.”

You attempted a smile. “How is it fair for me to call you by your name when you still call me Princess?”

“That’s true,” he chuckled, slightly abashed. “But you’re a lady, and ladies should be respected. I’m aware of how selfish I’m being. I won’t force you to call me that if you find it to be troublesome.” He seemed more playful when he locked eyes with your kingsguard. “But for you, it’s a different matter. I could use a friend my age. Treat me as one and I’ll do the same. How about that, Eren?”

The Kingsguard scrutinized the look on his face, trying to see what truly lie underneath that benign persona but Armin was as honest and innocent as a little boy who knew nothing about the world. And slowly, just a little bit, a faint smile broke on Eren's lips. “I’d be honored to,” he replied. “Armin.”

***

“Here.” Your body grew rigid when the blonde-haired man wandered closer, circling a knitted scarf around your neck. He twirled it once to keep you warm, smiling tenderly as he did it. “It’s warmer, isn’t it?”

You touched the fabric with tentative fingers, his scent filling the air around you. While Eren reminded you of spring, of the sunray and the fresh fragrant of the blooming flowers, Armin smelled like the pine trees after the storm—sharp, sweet, and refreshing. “Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome.” He offered you his hand, lean fingers covered by a dark blue leather-clad glove that matched the color of his outfit. “Come. There's something I want to see.”

You took his hand as you were obliged to. When Armin led you further into the garden, you stole a glance at your Kingsguard. Eren averted his gaze the second you found him, and you wondered whether he didn’t want you to see his reaction or he simply just couldn’t bear watching another man touch you in such a way. 

Armin put his movements to a halt once he reached the balustrade that barricaded your kingdom. Eren took a few steps in the opposite direction, giving you some privacy. He was close enough to see, close enough to hear but with his figure hidden by the trees, it felt like you were alone with the future king.

Armin placed one hand on the railing while keeping his other one attached to yours. “I can never get tired of this,” he uttered, gawking in awe at the snow-covered valley that stood below him. As your kingdom was perched on a cliff, the scenery seemed like a surreal romantic painting straight from a storybook. “It’s so beautiful.”

Your gaze was glued to your joined hands, feeling strange and uncomfortable as it felt different from the way Eren held yours. Armin's hand was smaller in comparison and he held yours with uncertainty, perhaps because of the lack of experience. “It is, isn't it...” you mumbled and Armin noticed the turmoil in your tone.

“I’m sorry,” he released his hold, not brave enough to meet your gaze. “I’m being too forward, aren’t I?”

“It’s fine.”

“I'm not sure why but you make me feel so nervous,” he suddenly confessed with a sigh. The blush that painted his face didn’t look like it came from the cold. “I don’t know how to act around you so I just… I guess I thought holding your hand would be romantic, but—” He turned around, puffs of warm breath erupting from his mouth as he exhaled heavily into the air. “I’m making such a fool of myself. I'm sorry.”

But it wasn’t his fault. He didn’t do anything wrong. He was sweet and thoughtful, prepared to do anything to sweep you off your feet even if it meant stepping outside his comfort zone. If it was done by someone else—if it was done by a certain boy with a pair of stunning green eyes—you would've been overwhelmed with joy.

Armin wasn’t the problem. You were. And you hated yourself for making such a gentle, hopelessly romantic boy feel like he wasn’t worthy enough to hold your hand.

“Prince Armin,” you murmured. “I don’t… think I’m right for you.”

The man froze, eyes blinking twice before he spun around to face you once more. “Princess?”

How do I say I don't want to marry him without hurting him? “You deserve someone better. Someone who could love you properly.” Your heart thumped louder with every word you said. You knew you shouldn’t have said it. You knew it was wrong for you to speak such a thing, but you couldn’t help it. You were desperate for a way out. “You’re too nice to be married to someone like me.”

Armin fell quiet and you didn't have the courage to analyze his expression. "You don't wish to get married to me?"

He was as perceptive as always, leaving you speechless for a good couple of seconds. "It's not that, my lord," you clarified, but what you were doing was just adding lies over lies. "You're a wonderful man—"

"But you love someone else."

His words did not shock you just as much as the sadness in his voice. You kept yourself composed, kept your face guarded. "No, my lord." You were much better at lying this time, that you became revolted by yourself. "Just like what you told me during our first meeting, I feel like we're too young to get married. I still have things I want to learn, things I want to experience with my own eyes. You understand that feeling, don't you?"

It was cruel for you to throw your words back at him. You felt ashamed of yourself, felt disgusted from simply hearing yourself talk.

Armin stayed silent and it felt like hours before he parted his lips to form a word. His gentle smile did not reach his eyes this time, proving that you were the better actress when it came to telling lies. “I have something I’d like to say though it may do little to change your mind. Will you listen to me?”

He didn’t wait to hear your answer, already reaching behind the pocket of his coat to retrieve a small box. Inside it was a ring—a deep-blue oval sapphire set in white gold, perfectly accented by two round brilliant diamonds.

“My mother gave me this ring on the night before our first meeting," Armin retold the story. "She wanted me to give it to you but I was too embarrassed to do it back then. And it didn't feel right to hand it over to you when we just met so I waited." He took a deep breath and you noticed how nervous he was behind that smile he kept intact. "She said my father presented this to her when he asked her to marry him. It wasn't an arranged marriage, you see, not like us. They married out of love. They chose each other. And ever since then, there was not a day where I saw them regretting their decisions. They cherish each other so much. It's beautiful, the love they feel for one another. And I thought, if I could experience even just a little bit of what they have, then I would consider myself the luckiest man in the world.”

When he stopped speaking, the silence was deafening. And you were afraid. Afraid that Eren could hear. Afraid that this would crush his heart. Afraid that Armin could see through your emotions. 

“Princess," the prince continued. “I know that we barely understand each other. And I’m sure there are sides of you that I haven’t seen, your strengths, your weaknesses, and the secrets you keep to yourself—and I have mine too. But I’m willing to share every part of me and I'd love to know every part of you—if you let me. And if it's knowledge that you thirst after, then let's learn together. I will give you as much freedom as you wish, will let you travel the world if you want to. I will give you any kind of books you want to read. Just say the word, and I’ll do my best to turn it to reality.”

Even if those were just empty promises, you couldn’t help but believe him. Armin was so sincere, and his eyes held more weight than his words could ever convey. 

“So I’m handing you this ring, should you accept it,” he continued, offering the ring to you. "I won’t tell you I love you, not yet, as it would only make me sound like a liar but I promise you this. I will try my best to love you. Every day, I will try my best to be a better king, a better son, a better person, so I can be a worthy husband—someone that you'll be proud of. I will try my best to make you fall for me so there won’t be a day in your life where you’ll regret ever been married to me, even if we start our marriage as strangers.”

You were at loss for words, your thoughts split into two, thinking about the man before you, and the green-eyed boy carrying a shattered heart on his sleeves. “You don’t have to promise me this,” you weakly responded. “You’re already wonderful the way you are, my lord. But… Thank you.”

Armin’s smile was so delicate, it almost looked like a painting. He reached for your hand and he could feel you stiffened for a split second. "You're allowed to say no," he assured you, which only made it ten times harder for you to decline. "I have very little influence on our engagement, as they are arranged by our fathers and it is outside my authority to intervene. But if you truly think that nothing good can come from being married to me, then I will accept it. I will try to convince my father to put an annulment to it." His eyes drooped, his smile faltered. "If that's what you want, then I'll step away, regardless of how much I want to spend my life with you."

You wished Armin was a horrible man, someone as vile as Lord Roeg who wanted nothing but your kingdom and virginity. It would be easier for you to refuse him, to shove him away if he was. But even so, everything was too late. Thousands of letters and invitations had been delivered to every royalty on the island. To cancel the wedding simply because the bride wasn't ready would be an utter disgrace not just to your family, but to Armin's as well.

Besides, I've made my choice, haven't I?

"Princess...?" Armin tightened his hold around your hand, bringing you back to reality. "What would be your answer?"

A part of you wanted to withdraw your hand but it was overcome by the sense of duty and responsibilities that you felt for your family and your kingdom. So you swallowed your breath and let him place a ring around your fourth finger. He melted into another smile, genuine and soft, like a little boy being showered with his mother's love. "Thank you," he whispered. "I will not disappoint you."

You won't, but I will. As I will never be able to love you properly.

“I’ve never been in love,” Armin confessed, “Never even thought about falling in love before.” He glided his thumb over the ring, smiling fondly at how perfect the sapphire complimented your skin. “But when I saw you, I thought, ah, I want to try. I want to try to love her. Properly, with all my heart.” And as he spoke his next words, he replaced his touch with his lips. “I want to learn to love you, Princess.”

***

Prince Armin only stayed for a week and during those times, Eren only spoke out of necessity, answering questions with a “yes” or a “no”, accompanied by a faint smile and nothing more. You spent most of your days with the prince, taking him on a tour around the castle, sharing stories from your favorite books, and learning about herbs and medicines with Hange. Armin had a brilliant mind, often thinking of solutions that made Hange's eyes flickered in excitement that they ended up talking for hours. Armin would always apologize, worried that he might bore you but how could you when you were constantly occupied with your thoughts?

Eren hadn’t told you he loved you for days. The last time was on that night where he laid down next to you on the bed, confessing his hidden feelings with soft sobs he tried to hide. And even then, he only said it because you said it first.

Knowing that the risk was bigger with Armin and your parents in the castle, Eren never stayed for the night. He’d escort you to your room, giving you a formal bow and bid goodnight without making eye contact. A part of you believed that if the guards weren’t there guarding your door, you would’ve at least pulled him for a kiss. But a bigger part of you knew that you wouldn’t be brave enough to do it.

He wasn’t angry at you, you were certain of it. Or Armin, even. If anything, he felt more resentment toward himself than anyone else. And that terrified you because you knew, deep down, he already made up his mind. He already made his choice, one that was most likely similar to yours.

A decision to say goodbye.

And he just needed the right time to say it.

You dreaded for that day to arrive. You knew it was coming closer.

“Princess,” Eren called one day as he escorted you back to your chamber after a quick visit to the library. “I’d like to have a word with you in private… If you have time to spare.”

The formality was sickening, even if it was necessary as you were both standing in a public area. You didn’t answer, continued making your way to your room. “If Petra comes, tell her that I will be skipping dinner tonight,” you said to the guards waiting outside your door. “There are things I need to speak with my Kingsguard in private and it may take a while.”

“Yes, Princess.”

Eren closed the door behind him, basking in the warmth of the fire crackling in the fireplace. The soft glow of amber danced along his features and he was as beautiful as ever, though the sadness in his eyes transformed him into someone else.

When you locked your gaze with him, his eyes softened. “Princess…” There was yearning in his voice, so thick, it was heartbreaking. “Can I hug you?”

Eren was tugging on your heartstrings and within seconds, you could feel your vision blur. “Yes…”

He took two long strides, closing the distance as fast as he could before he enveloped you with his arms. “I miss you,” you could hear the anguish in his voice. “I miss you, Princess.” The way he circled his arms around your shoulders, his nose buried in the strands of your hair, spoke loneliness that could only be matched with your own.

Your thoughts solely revolved around him that you only noticed you were crying when you tasted the salt of your tears as he kissed you. His lips were a bit cold but they were just as soft as you could remember. And as they connected with yours, soft gasps of longing erupting from the back of his throat, you wondered, how can I ever stop wanting him? Loving him? Needing him?

Eren was a force you couldn’t fight back and you loved the way he crushed you with the intensity of his feelings. You loved the way he suffocated you with his kisses, the way he held your heart in the palm of his hand, and how you owned the same power over him. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered once he broke away, perhaps not wanting the guards standing outside your door to pick up on his words, “For acting so distant in the last few days. I didn’t—” He chased after your lips again, couldn’t able to resist. “I didn’t know what to do. I feel like someone is screaming inside my head and—”

“It’s okay,” you shushed him down, tracing your fingers across his lips before you kissed him again, slower this time. “I know how you feel.” 

It took a few more kisses before you could stop the tears from falling, pressing your cheek against his chest while he laid his chin on top of your head. Once he had the strength to break away, he took a hold of your hand, eyes blinking in surprise when he noticed something.

It was the ring.

You swiftly removed your hand from his hold, bringing it to your chest as you took a step away from him. Eren’s shoulders sagged, the silence stretching between you before he said, “That ring looks beautiful on you.”

You glanced away. “It feels strange.” You unconsciously brushed your thumb over the ring, itching to take it off. “As if it doesn’t belong to me.”

You could hear him taking a deep breath. “That’s… actually what I want to talk about.”

Dread spread quickly through your chest, sending you into a frenzy. “Do you love me?”

The question caught him off guard as much as it did you, even when you were the one who spoke the words. “W-what?”

“Do you love me, Eren?”

The astonishment in his face quickly turned into a frown. “Of course, I love you. Princess, I—Why do you even need to ask me that?”

You weren’t sure why you were asking him this. Your head couldn’t comprehend the reason but it felt right in your heart. Perhaps you were just panicking, wanting a way out of this conversation. Perhaps, you just needed confirmation. Perhaps, you just felt lonely. “Because I miss hearing you say those words to me.”

A wounded look re-appear on his face. “It just didn’t feel… right for me to say them when you’re wearing another man’s ring.” He brought his eyes to his feet, his fingers curling into a ball. “Princess... Armin is a good man—”

“Stop.”

“Listen to me—”

“No.” You insisted, a quiver in your voice. “I don’t want to hear you talking about him. Not now when I just got you back—”

“Princess.” It was the way he begged you that made you freeze, even if he did it in a whisper. ”We have to talk about this.”

He was right. No good would come from postponing the conversation, no matter how much you wished you could. Taking a shaky breath, you plopped down on the edge of your bed, hands placed neatly on your lap, fisting your dress for comfort.

Eren stepped closer, going down on one knee in front of you, and settled one hand above yours. “A week isn’t enough to judge someone’s character, I’m aware of that,” he began. “But I saw how he behaved around his people, how he treated his guards and servants. I've talked to them and they spoke nothing but good words of him. I could tell how loved he is by his people. Your father—no, even Master Levi trusted him.” As he held your hand in his, he stroked your knuckles with his thumb. “And I’ve seen the way he looked at you—"

"Looks can be deceiving.” The coldness in your tone surprised him. “You don’t know him, and neither do I, Eren.”

There was a pause before he cupped your face, lifting it to meet his gaze. “I made a promise with myself months ago, that morning before we went for the hunt when I told you I loved you,” he professed. “A part of me said that I shouldn’t go any further than that. That the kiss we shared a week before should have been the first and the last time I could ever hold you that way. It was already a miracle that I could kiss you without receiving any punishment for it so I kept reminding myself that.” He detached his hand away, as well as his gaze. “When you met me in the weaponry to say goodbye, I couldn’t hold myself back. I just had to tell you my feelings, or else I’d regret it for the rest of my life. But at the same time, I told myself that it wouldn’t last long. We wouldn’t be able to stay together. Once the spring comes, you’ll be taken away and I have to learn to let go.”

“Eren,” you could feel your tears threatening to fall again. “Just please… Let’s not talk about this.”

“I tried to deny it,” he continued with a soft smile, squeezing your hand. “I kept telling myself, no, if she loves me, things will work out. It’s not a sin to love someone this much, even when I’m not worthy to be loved. I wanted to believe it. When I asked you to run away with me, I meant it with all my heart. I was ready. No matter what was going to happen in the future, I was ready to take you with me. I felt brave, I felt like I could fight the world just to be with you. But with more time passing by, I started to think that… It’s not enough just to be brave.”

“We still have time,” you convinced not anyone else but yourself. “There’s still a few weeks before the wedding—”

“I want to postpone this as long as I can too, Princess,” he answered. “I know that it will only hurt us both when we talk about this. And I want to enjoy every last second I have with you without worrying about it, but...” He caught himself. “I’m aware that there will be no future for us even if we feel this strongly about each other. I’m just a mere knight, and no matter how much I try, I won’t be able to turn myself into a prince. Of course, I can be selfish—and believe me, I want to be selfish. I want to take you away from here and spend the rest of our lives together. No status, no responsibilities, just you and me together in a small house made of woods. And if Lord is kind, maybe we can have that. But you don’t deserve it.” He stood on his knees, pressing his temple together with yours as you both closed your eyes, focusing on each other’s words and stuttered breath and the feelings that were bubbling up your chest. “You deserve more, way more than anything I could give you. Just look at me.” His smile grew softer, breaking your heart even more. “What do I have to offer?”

“You have everything that I want.” When you kissed him, he answered you with pliant lips, lacking the feverish passion he always had.

“But not what you need.” He broke away, bringing both of your cheeks to his palms, his eyes searching for yours. “I can only love you with all my heart, protect you with my life but that’s it. I can’t give you a life full of luxury that you deserve. I can’t bring delicious foods to the table. I can’t give you gold, or these beautiful silk dresses that you wear.” When he saw you shaking your head, he quickly added, “I know you don’t ask for any of these, and I’m sure you’re going to convince me that you don’t need anything from me but I—” He stopped to catch his breath, his emotions all over the place. “You deserve so much more. And if Armin can provide that for you, which I’m sure he can, then I’ll—”

“Stop—”

“I’ll let you go.”

It was like the feeling you got after you saw thunder flashed through the sky. You waited in silence, waiting for the sound, fear swirling in your stomach knowing the terrifying roar was about to come. You could hear Eren calling your name but it sounded like a string of murmurs as if he was drowning but still trying to mouth the words to you. Or maybe you were the one who was drowning instead, with no chance to resurface.  

“So you’ll be fine seeing me marry someone else,” you said when you could finally find your voice. “You’ll be fine seeing me sit on the throne next to him, holding his baby in my arms.”

Eren’s jaw clenched, an invisible knife piercing his skin. “I won’t be,” he stated. “And I will never be, but what I feel doesn’t matter. I will try my best to accept it, no matter how much it hurts, if that’s what you decided.”

“Don’t say that.” The sadness within you morphed into anger and it was a force you couldn’t control. “Don’t tell me that it’s all up to me to decide when you just said I deserve someone better than you. Stop acting like I’m the one who chooses to leave when you’re the one who lets me go.” You dragged your hand away from his hold. “When you’re the one who’s giving up on us.”

Eren’s eyes widened, lips separated but only a choked gasp could break free. 

It was cruel of you to say and you wished you could stop. But you didn’t know yourself anymore. Right now you just felt hurt, and somehow it made more sense to hurt him back instead of accepting the fact that you just made the same choice as him. To put a stop to your feelings. To say goodbye.

Or maybe, you didn’t make the same decision. Deep down, you wished he would ask you to run away with him again. You just needed that little push, just a simple question of, “Will you spend the rest of your life with me, outside this kingdom, just the two of us?” and you knew you’d do it. When he told you about the things he wanted to have with you—to live a normal life somewhere, to bear his three beautiful children, you wanted that too. You wanted to have everything, no matter how unrealistic it was, you wanted it.

So when he shot you down and told you to marry another man instead, it felt like he was ripping you in half.

Visibly upset, Eren stood back on his feet, looming over you. “I’m not giving up on us,” he said, voice shuddering but from something else entirely. “There’s no way I’m giving up on us. I will never—”

“Well, that’s not what you’ve been saying just now, is it?”

“I’m trying to do what’s best for you! For both of us! Giving up and letting you go are two completely different things.”

You wanted to yank on your hair, tugging harshly at the roots so you could focus on the pain instead of the rage that forced you to say things you didn’t mean. “You know, Eren. If you had asked me to run away again, I would’ve said yes.”

“Don’t.” His voice was low and deep, sending goosebumps all over your skin. “You’re being cruel.”

It was clear that Eren thought you were saying the words just to hurt him. He didn’t even believe you enough that you would leave your kingdom and the family you held dear to you or sacrifice your bright future as a queen just to be with him.

You stood up from the bed, walking past him. “And so are you.”

Eren grabbed you by the wrist, and in a matter of seconds, you found yourself lying on the bed with him hovering above you. “E-Eren—”

“You know what I’ve been trying to do for these last two days?“ He asked but you knew he didn’t need an answer. “I’ve been trying to search for a reason to justify my actions if I decide to take you away with me.”

Your heart throbbed painfully inside your ribcages. “And loving me is not a good enough reason for you?”

“Princess, you can’t survive on love alone.” You could tell he was growing frustrated. “The world is cruel out there, and I’ve seen it with my own eyes. Outside this kingdom, people are starving. They murder their kind to survive. They fight for shelters, women are raped—”

“I don’t care!” Your hand landed on his chest, fingers fisting the fabric of his shirt but Eren pinned your hand down over your head before you could tell whether you wanted to push him away or pull him closer. “I just want to be with you—”

“Stop being so naive!” He was loud, both of you were. But even if the whole castle could hear you, you wouldn’t care. Eren was breathing hard, his pupils blown. “Princess, if we run away, straying far away from this kingdom that protected you, how could I ever forgive myself for letting you live like that? What am I going to do if I fail to protect you?”

You stayed mute, biting your lower lip as hard as you could so you wouldn’t cry. Eren noticed it and he took a deep breath, reaching out a hand to caress your face. He glided his thumb across your lip, stopping you from nipping on it further.

“When I first heard about you and Armin,” his voice was gentler this time, “I kept asking questions about him, trying to learn as best as I could, trying to see what kind of person he was. I had decided that if he wasn’t the kind of man people thought him to be, if his kindness was just an act, I would take you with me. Willingly or by force, I wouldn’t care. There was no way I would let you be with someone who could harm you or break your heart in the future.”

He leaned closer, his face sinking in the crook of your neck as he sighed, tired and torn apart. “But I couldn’t find it. He’s not perfect, he has his flaws, but he also has everything that I don’t. And it kills me to say this but he has more to offer, more ways to make you happy than I could ever give you.”

“He doesn’t love me,” you muttered through gritted teeth.

“I heard what he said when he gave you the ring.”

“I don’t love him.”

“You don’t give yourself the chance to love him. And that’s because of me. It’s because I’m in the picture, where I shouldn’t have been in the first place. Princess, please understand that the reason why I’m doing this is because I don’t want to put you in danger. I don’t have anything to lose, unlike you. If we run away from here, you’re going to take all the risks, and lose everything in the process. Your family, your home, your kingdom—”

“If I stay,” you sternly cut him off. “I’m going to lose you.”

Eren swallowed thickly, averting his gaze. “I’m replaceable.”

Replaceable?

Replaceable, he said?

You didn’t know one word could pain you and infuriate you this much, more than anything you had ever felt in your life. To you, it was as if he said, "You love me now but you'll fall for another man the second I'm out of the picture." You knew he didn't mean it that way, especially after hearing the things he said as he held you close that night. But these emotions that were swirling inside your chest were overwhelming, clouding your senses and what mattered the most was that it hurt. You felt insulted, aggravated, and shredded apart pieces by pieces. 

Grinding your teeth behind closed lips, you gathered all the strength you could muster and shoved him away by the shoulders. Before he could react, you hastily made your way toward the door. 

“Princess—” Eren jumped off the bed, nearly tripping over his feet. “Princess, wait—”

“You’re dismissed for the day," you coldly said. "And I think it's best if we stop seeing each other. At least until the wedding ceremony has been held."

“What?! You’re—” The door was already open before he could take a hold of your wrist to keep you in place. Now that the guards outside your room stood as witnesses, Eren tried to keep his emotions in check. “You can’t do that."

"Yes, I can. I'm your princess." You kept your head to the side, not meeting his gaze. "Join my father's Kingsguards, he'll need your assistance. Tell Galliard to fill your position in the meantime."

"Princess—"

"Eren." Something in your voice stunned him. "This is an order."

Your heart was shattering to pieces and you wanted to hug him, to apologize, to admit that these words you spoke were nothing but excuses to make yourself feel better. 

Eren's jaw clenched hard at your words. His voice was quivering when he spoke, though from sadness or rage you weren't sure. "I’m your Kingsguard.”

“You’re not the only Kingsguard around,” you said, your gaze finally drifted back to his. “And like you said so yourself. You’re replaceable.”

***

Next Chapter

Tagging: @lagrimasdeglitter @sofi-yeager @jaegaga @naiomiwinchester @ereninbunu @natanialora and @fandomtrashgoddess as requested! Thank you for reading!

[binxyu]

Jungkook was meant to be just a guilty pleasure. Not your guilty pleasure, but a guilty pleasure. You knew never to fall in love with a man that thought loyalty was showing up on time. He was everything you never needed, but here you were. Your fingers pressed on the trigger that would start the flame of pain.

>>Pairing: Jeon Jungkook (dom) x fem!reader (sub) | fuckboy!jk x witch!reader

>>Word Count: 7.5k

>>Genre: Mini Series / Smut & Angst

>>Warnings/Kinks: Arguments, breast play, creampie, cum play, disloyalty, degrading, exhibitionism, fingering, hair pulling, marking, oral (receiving), praise, unprotected sex, and witchcraft

Jungkook was too beautiful for his own good.

From his pouty lips and sharp jaw line to his starry eyes. The man was perfection.

Even you had fallen for him, a woman that stopped believing in love.

But, all you could do now was remember the times you had together as the fire slowly burns in front of you.

As your love for Jeon Jungkook disappeared into nothingness.

Your fingers typed away at the keyboard, writing the second of three essays you had due. It was nearing the end of the semester and, while you were ecstatic at the mere thought of summer vacation, the stress of exams was looming over you.

“Can you look over this paragraph for me?”, you peeked up over your laptop and nodded, moving your own device out of the way to make room for Namjoon’s. Kim Namjoon was a journalist in the making, a man that knew exactly how to put events into words. He was quite different from you, but study sessions together were always eventful. You were the perfect person to correct his grammar mistakes or to help add detail to his work and he was the perfect person to help explain a certain historical detail you may have missed.

Studying religions was what you had decided was your interest considering your unique practice. You enjoyed learning about the beliefs of people centuries ago but the facts could get scrambled in your brain and that’s where Namjoon came in. He almost seemed to have a never ending timeline in his brain.

“I’d add more emphasize on Jungkook. He did beat the record after all”, you quickly realized when you read the paragraph that he was writing for the school paper again. Despite your attempts to persuade the man that he could do much better with his time, he continued to write for it.

“That’s true. Wait, how did you know about that?”, you let out an amicable chuckle. Of course Namjoon would assume you did not know. Just because you despised sports did not mean you were deaf. The whole school had been talking about the student since the track meet. While you couldn’t remember the exact record he beat, it was still a record.

“People talk”, you shrugged and Namjoon nodded. It was peaceful for a moment as you went back to typing, managing to push aside your emerging migraine. Your body was begging for a good nap, but you had to get this done. You were, among less appealing qualities, a hard worker. Perhaps it was due to the pressure put on you as a child or maybe it was because that diploma was just out of reach. Either way, nothing was going to get in the way of your future.

And, like the biggest fuck you from the universe, Jeon Jungkook walks in.

Yet, you hadn’t realized and kept typing until Namjoon cursed loudly, drawing you out of your world.

“Are you okay?”, your voice was soft before your eyes met the issue. Oh, poor clumsy Namjoon.

He had spilt his coffee all over his shirt, staining the freshly new white blouse he had worn. You couldn’t help but laugh as you dug in your bag for a napkin.

“Don’t bother, it’s too much for a napkin. I’ll go to the restroom. Be right back”, you gave him a brief nod and a thumbs up. Still, you got up with your little pack of napkins and tried to clean up the remaining coffee staining into the table. The librarian is sure to kill you both if it does end up staining the wood. Standing back to examine your work, you almost screamed.

Standing by your laptop was a tall figure with the most sinister smirk you’ve ever seen.

Jeon fucking Jungkook spilt your coffee all over your notes and laptop.

Your mouth hung open for a moment before fury overtook the shock. You stomped up to the broadly built man and yes you didn’t believe in violence as a solution but all you wanted to do was slap the smirk right off his gorgeous face.

“Why did you do that?”, you also wanted to yell but the librarian was already eyeing the table and you couldn’t draw attention to the mess.

“Because I like to watch you suffer, sourpuss”, how have you not killed the man in front of you? You had no idea. Because that name infuriated you.

You knew it was the student’s way of messing with you, wanting to strike that minuscule nerve inside of you. No one else believed you could get angry but Jungkook knew you could. Mostly because he had caused that anger.

“And why is that? Because Jimin told you another lie about me?”, Jeon Jungkook was so impossibly similar to Park Jimin that it was uncanny who he had learned his traits from. Truth be told, you had the smallest crush on the man in front of you during freshmen year. He was so affectionate, caring, and friendly back then.

But, instead of ending up with the sweet heartthrob, you had ended up with Jimin for that year and the next.

Starting out, he was simply a popular boy and loved you with his whole heart. But, time went by and his true colors shun through like the sunlight through your irritatingly useless blinds. He was a playboy. An awfully good one at that for you to have never noticed the extra pairs of undergarments that laid on his floor when you slept over at his dorm.

He cheated, but he blamed it all on you and even Jeon Jungkook hates your guts because you were sure Jimin had told him exactly what he had told most of your friends. That you had broken his heart with your “horrifying” witchcraft and that you were dangerous. It explained why so many students asked to see your devil shrine the next day or tried to barge into your dorm to look at what Jimin talked about.

The most ironic thing was that you had never used magick around the man and you barely used it to begin with. You supposed it was for good reason considering that happened the first time you told someone about it.

“Jimin doesn’t lie. He’s never lied to me and I’m sure you’re well aware of what you did”, his finger jabbed harshly above your breast, just slightly lower than your collarbone. Among many things, Jungkook was dense and forgetful. You noticed that quickly when you started spotted reminders written on his fingers or palm. Just like the little note saying “library 7pm” was written on the finger jabbing you.

Unless the track star had another reason to be in the library he never visited, he wrote that down just to catch you in time.

“Tell me, Jeon. What did I do?”, you tilted your head and moved away from him, realizing the coffee was now leaking onto the floor. You desperately wished Namjoon would hurry up and get back to help you.

“You broke his heart. Using magick or something”, you bit your lips in annoyance and turned around to face him.

“Or something? Jungkook, I never did anything to Jimin. I know you won’t believe it because you look up to him like some god, but he cheated on me. He broke my heart”, you jabbed back, hitting the same spot he hit you, “and, if you haven’t noticed, Jimin doesn’t seem heartbroken, does he?”. If he dared to say yes you may have to use that horrifying magick Jimin lied about because your ex was anything but heartbroken. He was with a new woman almost every night and, even with this knowledge, they lined up to be with him. Who could deny the charming Park Jimin?

Finally, Jungkook shook his head, his curly black hair bouncing as he did the movement. If he wasn’t such a nuisance, you might’ve wished you could run your fingers through it. It looked so fluffy.

“Then, leave me alone. It’s been years of your torment and I’m tired of it”, you sighed and slung your bag over your shoulder after shoving your slightly wet laptop into it, walking out of the library after sending a text to Namjoon that you had felt bad because no one really knew about your fights with Jungkook and Namjoon would surely try to beat his ass if he found out about it.

Leaving the coffee on the table was a bold move but a part of you hoped that the asshole would clean it up. It was his mess after all. Not your’s.

“You’re coming to the track meet, right?”, the voice startled you and you sat up on your bed, making direct eye contact with Kim Taehyung. The only guy with a key to your dorm.

“Tae, I love you but you know I do not do sports”, you grumbled and flopped back onto your bed. Your classes had you beat and the need for a nap was too great to give up. Even if it was for your best friend.

“I know but it would mean so much if you were there”, don’t do it. Don’t do it.

You did it.

You made direct eye contact with those big puppy eyes Taehyung always used to get his way. You had fallen victim once again.

Which was why you had ended up in the cold, shivering as you watched the team run around the track for what felt like an eternity.

Taehyung had done great considering he barely moved before the season but who really stood out was Jungkook. His back muscles were only moments away from ripping through the flimsy shirt he was wearing and sweat was coating his hair. He was aware of how good he looked. He always was. He even was ballsy enough to wink at one of the girls screaming his name in the crowd.

Thankfully, the pleasant bliss that was drinking kept your mind off how irritated you were. You had snuck in a beer to drink (not that everyone else didn’t) and the alcohol loosened you up a bit.

After the meet was over, a sweaty Taehyung was clinging to you like a massive koala. He was high off adrenaline and couldn’t decide whether he wanted to cuddle or jump around.

“Tae, take this before you pass out on top of me”, you handed him a water and he gratefully took it, still leaning against you as he chugged down the drink.

Taehyung and you were polar opposites. He was an athlete, quite dorky, a great singer, and was overly optimistic. You, on the other hand, liked to keep to yourself, was not the best of singers, and always stuck to the reality of things. Even if you could manipulate that reality the tiniest bit.

“Let’s get you home”, you let the man lean his weight on you tiredly as you started to walk towards the exit of the field.

“Sourpuss, I need to talk to you”, that voice was definitely not the one you needed to hear when you were this tired and already agitated. What does a girl have to do to spend time in her bed?

“I’m a little busy if you haven’t realized”, you gestured to Taehyung, who was breathing directly on your neck and nuzzling his nose against the skin. It wasn’t an odd gesture considering your close friendship but his face was so cold it send goosebumps down your spine.

“I’ll help”, Jungkook offered, quickly coming to your rescue by crouching down and getting Tae on his back. The man grumbled but was happy to take the ride considering it was less soreness for his legs to endure the next day.

The Jeon Jungkook helping? What a trip.

“What do you want?”, you winced at how rude it sounded. Sure, Jungkook most definitely deserves said rudeness, but he was helping you.

“I’m sorry”, you legitimately thought you were hearing things and turned your head to look at him, stopping in your tracks.

“Can you say that again? I don’t think I heard you correctly”, the athlete groaned before turning to look at you, frustration evident on his face.

“I’m sorry. You were right about Jimin. He’s been talking shit behind my back for months and I had no idea”, if it wasn’t for your “told you so” attitude, you would’ve felt sorry for him. Jimin was one of his closest friends after all.

“Hate to say I told you so but”, he glared at you to shut up and you quickly did. His glare was so cold that a shiver went up your spine.

“Sorry, it was a joke. Jimin is really manipulative so don’t let him bring you down”, you reassured him, even bringing your hand up to pat his shoulder. By the way he flinched away, you would’ve assumed your hand was made of lava.

Noted. Jungkook hates being touched.

“I assumed so much about you and that was immature of me”, the man smiled softly at you. It felt like arrows pierced your heart. He had such a cute smile for an asshole. Like a bunny.

“It’s fine. Lots of people assume things about me”, you shrugged as you both started walking again, Taehyung looking down at you to make sure you’re okay. He was like your protective older brother and you couldn’t be more thankful to have him around.

“But they shouldn’t. So what if you follow a different religion? It doesn’t mean you’re evil”, that was probably the first time someone agreed with your practices besides Taehyung and Namjoon (mostly because he understood it better than others).

“Thank you for saying that. It means a lot”, you finally smiled back at him, sending his heart right into his chest as his heartbeat picked up. Needless to say, he adored your smile.

“I hate to ask this of you but could you tutor me on Epidemiology? I regret ever taking it and I’ll pay you”, you were wide-eyed with shock to say the least. You didn’t expect Jungkook to go out of his way to learn. Especially, not with you.

“Sure, you can join Namjoon and I in the morning”, you nodded before you saw the way Jungkook’s nose crinkled up in displeasure.

“What? What’s wrong with that?”, he sighed in response to the question as you both reached your dorm building. You’d just let Tae stay with you for the night.

“Namjoon hates my guts. We’re way too different. Besides, aren’t you two dating? I don’t want to be some third wheel”, Jungkook almost sounded disgusted at the idea, probably imagining you making out with Namjoon in front of him.

“I’m not dating him. He’s just the only other intelligent male I can tolerate”, he seemed to relax once you finished speaking but there was still tenseness evident in his shoulders which wasn’t due to the large man on his back.

“I still don’t get along with him despite the fact that he writes about me all the time. He once yelled at me for cheating and wrote an article about it”, that was a slap right to your face. Right, Jungkook was a player and he could throw your feelings aside like one of his cigarettes. Do not get attached.

“Well, don’t cheat”, you said because, let’s be real, it’s the truth. You unlocked the door and helped Taehyung off of his back.

“Bye Koo, thanks again”, your words were quick and you kicked the door closed with your shoe, your hands full thanks to the oversized man child clinging onto you.

Koo. He liked that.

Weeks had ticked by and, somehow, Jungkook had managed to get your number. Honestly, Namjoon probably slipped it out or Taehyung gave it to him. According to Tae, the man had been oddly friendly to him and they were (borderline) friends now. They played video games together, practiced together, and even barged into your place for snacks together.

Great. Now you had two man-children to take care of and feed. It was definitely taking a chunk out of your paycheck each week to get extra snacks for the two. They ate like starving animals whenever they came over. A small part of you even thought it was just to piss you off even more.

Jungkook finally managed to get you to agree for a tutoring session with him. Just one. If this one went well then maybe you would agree to more.

The only sad thing about the session was that it was scheduled to happen right after your last class on Friday in your previous dorm. The dorm you had just finished cleaning up since the last time the two adult toddlers had destroyed it.

Surprisingly, when you had woken up one morning, Jungkook was still there. You assumed he and Tae were too drunk to get back to their own dorms and had decided to just sleepover at your’s. It was quite annoying if you were to be honest, but the way Koo looked actually interested in your religion was enticing.

He didn’t look scared or disgusted when he looked at your little collection of crystals on your desk or the jar resting on your end table sealed with candle wax. If anything, he actually looked amused or even impressed.

“I’ll pick you up after class. I can’t believe you don’t drive and walk to your dorm every day”, Jungkook shook his head as he walked beside you. Coincidentally, your last classes were next to each other but you were shocked to hear him offer to give you a ride.

“Don’t judge me, Mr. Playboy. I just have a fear of hitting someone. Have you seen the lunatics at this campus? They will run out into traffic for fun”, the man chuckled wholeheartedly at the pout on your lips. Plus, your joke was actually pretty accurate. Even he had almost hit a drunk idiot when trying to get back to his dorm late one night.

“Okay, that’s fair. So, you okay with me driving you?”, you nodded cautiously. While Jungkook was guaranteed to know every path to your dorm by now, you were still guarded. Being in that tight of a space with him was going to be difficult.

No, you don’t get those so-called “butterflies” when you were with him. Honestly, those butterflies were typically a bad sign to you. Feeling sick because you loved someone sounded a bit odd and almost contradictory.

You actually found yourself with more powerful emotions than anything. If Jungkook made you angry, you were angry. If he made you happy, you were happy.

Everything just felt so much stronger when you were around him. Thankfully, he almost always made you happy. He made you laugh because, once he discovered that beautiful sound, he couldn’t get enough.

So, after your class, you met him out in the hall and he walked you to his car. Now you realized how such an undetermined man got into college.

He was filthy rich.

Sitting there in the parking spot was a brand new Mercedes Benz. Its black color almost matched the distinct leather jacket that he decided to wear today. It very much screamed Jeon Jungkook.

However, it did not scream you whatsoever. You were almost afraid to get near it.

“Hop in. My grade isn’t getting any lower”, he opened the door for you and you weren’t sure if it was because you were friends, or whatever the fuck you two were, or if it was because he wanted a discount.

That’s not fucking happening. He’s already stolen plenty of money through snacks from your cabinets.

Meekly, you got into the vehicle, immediately buckling your seatbelt as if it was going to hurl itself into motion at any moment. Jungkook shut the door and went around to get into the drivers’ seat. Apparently he trusted his own driving so much that he never wore a seatbelt (Namjoon would’ve had a stroke if he was told that) and he drove with one hand (scratch that- make it two strokes).

Despite those things, he was an actual good driver. You felt safe and he drove the speed limit. Maybe it was just because you were in the car with him?

Getting out of the luxurious leather seats proved to be a hassle considering you knew your seats in your dorm were no where near as comfortable. You could sleep in that passenger seat without a care in the world compared to your own bed. Still, you forced yourself to get out and you two went up to your dorm. Jungkook is way too familiar with the place now considering he barely talks to you. It’s your place and, yet, he comes here for Tae.

“Alright, what unit do you need help on?”, you asked softly as you took the needed supplies out of your bag. You actually already took Epidemiology. It had nothing to do with your major but it was interesting to you. Who wouldn’t want to learn about the science of the world’s biggest killer: disease?

Jungkook simply looked at you, blinking a few times and pressing his tongue into his cheek in that nervous habit you realized he had.

“Oh- for fucks sake, Koo”, you grumbled as you realized how long of a process this was going to be.

It had been months since you began tutoring the student and, finally, there was progress.

Standing proudly with his shoulders back was Jeon Jungkook holding a test with a big number ‘92’ on it in red ink. Your heart swelled with pride.

“I passed! This was the exam review test so I’ll pass the exam, right?”, you smiled brightly as you looked at his excited eyes. You never thought Jungkook would ever be excited over passing a class but you can’t judge people by their covers, right?

“Yeah! Just keep up with the studying and you got it”, you nodded quickly, looking away from his puppy eyes when you felt happiness engulf you like a fire.

Ironically, you were actually playing with fire. Your hand tugged on the trigger and a flame flickered from the end of your lighter. You brought it down and lit the candle in front of you. To be honest, you were a bit of a goodie two shoes but you did break one rule.

No fire in the dorms.

“Hey, I really wanted to thank you. I’m actually passing all my classes now and it fills like my life has purpose again”, woah, didn’t expect that.

“No problem, Koo. Your life always has purpose. What do you mean?”, you looked up from what you were doing, noticing he was leaning against the frame of your door.

“All I did was party and drink. Sure, I was a good athlete but that can only take you so far”, you nodded in understanding and stood up, walking towards him.

He followed your every move like prey waiting for the predator to attack them.

But, instead of an attack, he was met with a warm, genuine, and, all around, great hug.

“Do you think of me as everyone else does?”, you looked up at him, meeting his starry eyes.

Oh, you hated them because of how much you loved them. They held the galaxy within them and you could stare into them for hours if given the chance.

You were many things but, tragically for Jungkook, a liar wasn’t one of them.

“Honestly, I did before. I’ve seen you do some of the things the rumors talk about-“, smoking, cheating, fighting, “but now I know that’s not all you are. There’s more to you, Koo”.

All Jungkook had been able to think about was your words. Sure, he didn’t care about your opinion before but it truly did make him happy to know you thought better of him.

“Jk! Where have you been?”, oh no.

“Jimin? I’ve just been at the gym a lot”, lies. He had been with you a lot.

“Ah, I see. How’s the bet going?”, the shorter man asked, running his fingers through his precisely cut hair. What a born model.

The bet. The bet you had no clue about. The bet Jungkook was too dense to refuse.

“It’s going. She hugged me yesterday”, Jimin scoffed and then chuckled, vastly different sounds that almost made Jungkook double over in fear. Truth be told, he despised Jimin. He despised him because he scared him. The only other man more influential than him was Jimin and that meant Jimin could ruin his reputation in a matter of seconds.

“That’s all? Damn, she really is void of love”, the bet Jimin was referring to was the one he made with the younger at the beginning of the year.

“I bet you can’t make her fall in love with you. She didn’t even love me, Koo! Me! I’m telling you, if you make her fall in love with you then I’ll get you anything you want”.

Time was running out with exams coming up and Jungkook needed to hurry if he was going to win such a bet. But, was it worth it if it meant disappointing you? Jimin may be scary but you made him feel so happy and so proud.

The only time he had seen you disappointed was when Taehyung broke one of your jars, resulting in a mess of coins, herbs, and wax on the floor. That’s the day he decided he never wanted to be on the receiving end of one of those looks.

“Yeah, she’s guarded which is understandable-“, wait- did Jeon Jungkook just grow some balls? “I’d be void of love too if everyone judged me for something I believed in”. He did.

“Where is that coming from? She deserves it, doesn’t she? Come on, JK. Keep that head in the game!”, Jimin patted his head like he was a child with all A’s on his report card, which, for once, was actually true thanks to you.

What game? You? Were you truly just a game to him?

“Alright, I’ve got this”, damn. Maybe you were.

Most nights you found yourself at the library now. It was the only place that was filled with peace and quiet. Especially on a Friday. Not even the librarian was here.

“Guess who”, hands covered your eyes and you would’ve punched the man behind you if you didn’t immediately recognize his husky voice. It was soothing with just the perfect mix of roughness. You couldn’t help but wonder what it sounded like when he just woke up.

“An asshole who thinks it’s okay to sneak up on women in a deserted place”, you grumbled and Jungkook immediately removed his hands.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you”, oh here we go. Argument number two thousand.

“I wasn’t scared. I was just saying that, one, you’re an ass and, two, don’t do that to women”, he nodded in agreement and you thought that was the stopping of an argument. Boy, oh boy, were you wrong.

“I won’t anymore but you’re so weak. I’ve scared you so many times now”, you glared at him. Thanks to months of being by Jungkook’s side, you had become a bit more out of control. The feelings you used to keep caged up were now more out in the open. You cussed more often, even tried drinking (and almost spit it out on him), and your frustration was no longer hidden from the world.

“Jungkook, you are a menace to society and I would like it if you leaved”, it was a pointless threat. You didn’t really mean it. You adored his company but you wouldn’t admit that with a gun to your head.

“Liar, you love me”, shit. Did you? No, don’t ask that. It was just a joke.

Damn you and your overthinking.

“No, I hate you. Shut up”, that was also a useless threat. Jungkook never shut up. He was quite the talker and shutting up was not in his vocabulary.

“No, you hate me. Shut up”, he sat on the table you were previously working on, knowing this would take a while. Your arguments always lasted between thirty minutes to two or three hours. You both hated to back down.

“No, I love you. Shut the fuck up”, wait a second-

“As you wish”, he smirked victoriously and leaned closer, his face so close to your’s that you could smell his musky cologne.

“That was wrong”, you glared at him and he shook his head, “don’t open your mouth aga-“ you were cut off as his lips connected with your’s. He kissed you so intensely that your mind was fogged up, trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

Finally, with your brain still hooked on adrenaline, your hands found their way to his cheeks, cupping his well defined face as you kissed back. You could feel him smile into the kiss before he pulled away, leaving a spark traveling down your body. Now, that’s a good feeling.

“Ah, I love when you shut the fuck up”, you were so close to beating him with your bag.

Everything was weird after the kiss. Life wasn’t some fairytale where you both lived happily ever after in some old palace somewhere.

No, you were both actually stuck in that “fuck, what are we?” mess.

Love wasn’t something you could control and that was why you never let it get that far, but, with Jungkook, it felt uncontrollable, spreading like wildfire.

So, you avoided him.

Of course, it wasn’t the most humane or easiest form of dealing with your feelings but it worked.

Well, for a little bit until Koo decided to block you off in the library, cornering you into the back section of the religious books. Oh, how ironic.

“What’s wrong?”, his voice made your knees want to give out. It was early and you assumed he woke up early just to catch you. His attire said that enough from his sweatpants to the tank top hugging his upper body. He obviously just threw something on before he left.

“What are you talking about?”, you tilted your head and tried to act innocent, but, once again, a liar you were not.

“Oh please, you’re obviously pissed off or scared of me or something”, bingo. You were horrified of what you were feeling and, in tune with it, Jungkook.

“I don’t know! Why do you even care? You’re obviously going to pass your exam so what am I needed for anymore?”, you winced at your own words, watching as the man’s usual bright expression turned into a sorrowful one.

“It’s much more than that, y/n”, that was probably one of the first times he had said your name. He usually called you nicknames like princess, sourpuss, or whatever else he came up with depending on his mood.

“Then what is it?”, the stare he gave you made you want to hide further into the corner. It was so predatory that your body was trying to fight its own instincts to run away and avoid the problem. You were always a flight over fight type of girl.

“You”, the one word made your eyebrows furrow, racking your brain for a response or understanding of what he meant. Jungkook shook his head as you watched your face twist in confusion.

“You’re so dense. Why would I kiss you if it wasn’t all for you?”, he leaned closer to you, hand resting on the shelf of the bookcase behind you. You silently thanked the universe that no one else was in there yet.

“Discount?”, it was the first thing you thought of and it caused a low chuckle to rumble out of Jungkook’s chest. He looked up into your eyes and it almost knocked the air out of you.

“Hmm, unless it’s a fuck buddy discount then I don’t think I want it”, he raised an eyebrow cockily and your eyes went wide. Little did Jungkook know that he just complicated your relationship even more.

“And what if I’m okay with making such a discount?”, the student practically groaned at the words, free hand finding its way on your hip, squeezing it. You don’t know where your new found confidence came from but you had gotten rather blunt since hanging out with Jungkook.

“Then I’d say you’re not the person I thought you were”, he hummed, leaning in to whisper in your ear. The way his breath tickled your ear sent sparks through your body.

“Is that what you want? For me to take you here against these books?”, yes you did. Looking around, you were met with many versions of Bible and other holy books of all religions. It was absolutely filthy and wrong to do it there which was why it was perfect.

“Yes, I want that”, your nails dug into the wood behind you, trying to ground your emotions down. It had always been an escape tactic to you.

“How naughty”, now you understood why he had chosen today of all days to corner you. He loved the skirt you were wearing and how easily it gave access to everything delicious underneath. Plus, your legs were perfect to him.

His fingers danced along your thighs before he pushed up your skirt, revealing the black lace panties underneath. Oh, you knew what was going to happen today and you definitely knew Jungkook liked his black.

“So pretty. Just for me?”, the question took you off guard, your own questions flooding your brain. Ultimately, after a few moments of silence, you decided he probably had a possession thing. Who didn’t like to feel powerful?

“Just for you, Koo. Fuck, touch me please”, so you decided to feed his little ego, edging him on until he pulled the panties to the side to reveal your glistening pussy.

The dim light of the library truly didn’t do it justice but he couldn’t help himself from finding it to be also perfect. He was in deep shit now.

His long fingers ran down your slit until they reached their destination: your pussy. He rubbed around it before he slowly plunged his middle finger into the wetness, curling against your walls.

Fuck, you always hated that finger but with it inside of you? Maybe you could make an exception.

Your body shook in response to the stimulation since you hadn’t been touched in so long, your hands gripping the wood tighter to keep yourself steady. Jungkook smirked when you clenched around his finger before he added another, stretching you out wonderfully as he scissored you open.

And that was when Jungkook found his favorite sound in the world.

“Jungkook! Oh god”, you moaning his name sounded like music to his ears and he couldn’t get enough. The only thing he hated was how quiet it was since you were still conscious of the library around you. He wanted you to scream it.

“You like that, princess? You want more?”, you obediently nodded, not in the mood to be denied an orgasm (which you were sure Jungkook would do if you didn’t obey). The man chuckled and leaned down, still pumping his fingers steadily as if it took no effort at all. If you had done this yourself then your fingers would have been cramping by now.

Your body jolted when Jungkook’s plump lips wrapped around your clit, sucking harshly on the nerve as if he was starving. To be fair, he had skipped breakfast.

You feared for the books behind you as your body spasmed, orgasming on the man’s fingers. You took deep breaths once you were finished and watched as Jungkook pulled away, pulling his cum covered fingers out of you.

With prolonged eye contact, he slipped the digits into his mouth and sucked the juices off of them. A new wave of arousal went through you when he tapped your lips with them, making you open your mouth. You gagged briefly when they hit the back of your throat but you sucked on it, licking your way up his middle finger.

“Good girl”, now that was going to haunt you forever. You whined when he pulled his fingers away and he smiled teasingly at you.

“I’m going to need to see these”, your eyes went wide when he gripped the collar of your shirt and ripped it clean down the middle, tossing it aside as if it didn’t cost you a fortune.

“Jeon Jungkook! That was expensive”, you huffed but he paid you no mind, just reaching behind you to remove your bra too so it can join the rest of your clothes.

“What if someone sees? I can’t cover these up quickly, Koo”, you crossed your arms over your chest, looking around cautiously. Jungkook just laughed and pulled your arms away, pinning your wrists above your head so he can press his body against your own.

“Take my shirt off and you can put that over you for the day. It’s fine, sourpuss”, oh you would’ve slapped him if you weren’t so turned on. He let go of your wrists and you quickly removed his shirt for him, revealing a muscular chest you could’ve never imagined.

And he never imagined how beautiful you’d look with your hard nipples pressed against the thin fabric of his white t-shirt. He grabbed them immediately and you failed to see the spark in his eyes as he squished them together.

“That was one of my favorite shirts. What a di-“, you yelped when he pulled your leg up over his shoulder, yanked his pants and boxers down, and pulled your panties aside to rub his angry tip against your folds. Your head rested back as he rubbed against your clit, covering his cock in your juices.

“What a dick indeed”, Jungkook chuckled deeply, arousal blurring his world into nothing but you. The only thing that mattered at that moment was feeling you.

His lips attached to your neck and you were so out of reality that you didn’t realize he was littering the skin with his marks, a silent claim on you as he pushed himself inside of you.

“Oh shit, it’s exactly as I imagined. So tight and warm”, and he was just as you imagined. So very big. You didn’t think anyone else could stretch you out as much as Jeon Jungkook and that thought made you groan.

“You’ve been imagining it?”, it was your turn to smirk and, for the first time ever, the man in front of you blushed.

“Oh please princess. I know you’ve been thinking about it too”, and you had been. Not that you’d ever admit that after he just basically friends with benefits zoned you.

“Just move you asshole”, Jungkook gripped your hair, tugging on the soft strands as he finally kept pushing, bottoming out inside of you perfectly.

His big hands moved to grip your hips, a little help to keep you up as he started to snap his own into your’s. He was mildly uncomfortable at first but, as you adjusted to his size, bliss filled your body.

Finally, you were doing something to make yourself happy and pleased. Maybe Jeon Jungkook wasn’t the best man to do it but he was making you feel so so good.

The man snapped you out of your thoughts as he brought your hand down to your clit. You understood and started to rub it, happy knowing that Jungkook was also looking out for your own pleasure too. Not that you’d know he had been thinking about you creaming on his big cock for months now.

“Keep doing that”, he whispered despite the heavy groan that threatened to come out. He was referring to the uncontrollable clenching you were doing around his dick, sucking him into your walls with each muscle movement. You listened and (despite knowing you were going to keep doing it anyways) clenched once again.

“Can I cum inside?”, you whimpered at the idea of Jungkook’s cum filling you up and, knowing you’re on grade A birth control, you nodded. While Jungkook was effortlessly attractive, kids were not part of your plans by far.

“You close too, princess?”, you nodded, a small moan spilling past your lips despite your best efforts to be quiet. With that knowledge, the man orgasmed and you could feel his seed start to coat your insides. The feeling made you tumble over into your own orgasm, coating his softening cock with your release.

“I think that’s the best sex I’ll ever have”, you praised him as you tried to put your cramping leg down off his shoulder. Instead, he held it tighter and pulled himself out of you. He watched as his cum started the spill out of you, dripping down your thighs beautifully.

So, he’s a man who likes to admire his work.

You almost screamed when he pushed it back inside of you with his finger due to the sensitivity.

“See you later, sourpuss”, Jungkook smirked and put your panties back to their original position before he pulled his own boxers and pants back up. He walked off and you were left gobsmacked with his cum dripping out of you onto your panties.

As the weeks passed by, the world became more vibrant and cheerful but also more chilling and worrisome.

Exams were over and you were free to go wherever you pleased but, somehow, you always found yourself wanting to be with what was supposed to be your secret guilty pleasure. Now, he was your everything. He truly brought color into your world; sadly, color always comes with black and white.

“I won the bet, Jimin. I want what I asked for”, you listened intently from the other aisle of books. The library had become your go to spot to find Jungkook. Surprisingly, the once unmotivated student was more frequently in here because of the sheer relief he got when you stood before him with a proud smile. What a softy.

“Really? She fell for you? Damn, you still got it. I can’t believe you asked for this though”, the disgust in your ex’s voice was evident and you so desperately wanted to see what he was referring to. You truly thought Koo had stopped being friends with Jimin after he apologized but apparently you were wrong about a lot of things. Most of all, you were wrong to love again.

Feeling your tears start to spill down your cheeks for the first time in years, you forced yourself out of the library. You should’ve seen it coming. What would a playboy want with you? A woman looking for a serious relationship? You’re an idiot and you’ll fix it.

Said playboy must’ve spotted you because you could hear his heavy footsteps behind you as you rushed out of the library, hurrying into a run with the safety of your dorm in mind. It was time to end this.

So, here you were. Remembering everything from the past few months as the candles in front of you burned, getting so desperately close to the string connecting them. You had carved an evident ‘JK’ on one and your initials on the other, bonding them to the people who needed to be apart from one another.

Watching his candle, you noticed the wax dripping down the long wick and you knew they were tears. You knew because of the loud banging coming from your dorm door, the man on the other side screaming and sobbing for you to let him explain.

Your candle, however, burned strongly with vengeance. It stood so tall compared to Jungkook’s and, as the fire finally burned through the string tying you both together, you felt free. It was like Jeon Jungkook had never affected you before and his name slowly slipped from your mind.

Eventually, the banging stopped as the candles reached their ends and the fire flickered out under your gaze. You felt so blissfully numb as you walked towards the door, opening it to reveal a confused Jungkook looking up at you.

“What did you do? It’s like-“, you cut him off with your hand, pulling him up rather roughly.

“You never knew me. That’s how I want it, Jeon Jungkook. You never knew me and I never knew you. Now, get your prize and leave me alone”, you slammed the door in his face. You felt pure relief but Jungkook could still feel a pang of want in his body.

You had failed to notice the little wax left of his candle that stood strong as you dumped it in the trash and he failed to notice that he had left his “prize” outside your door as he rushed off.

A gorgeous rose quartz necklace.

What a way to declare your love to a witch who just cut it all off.

[elysianslove]

heaven on your lips; matsukawa smau

synopsis; he finds refuge in that no matter what, you will always come back to him. he finds refuge in that he’s the sole reason for your pleasure and happiness. whether that be from the sidelines, or from within the four walls of your home, in the confines of your bedroom. no matter what, you’re his, and he’s yours, even if neither of you seem to notice it.

pairings; matsukawa issei x fwb!reader

genre; fluff, smut, humor

warnings; cursing and inappropriate language. nsfw and suggestive themes.

note; i am so excited to post this holy crap. if there are grammar or spelling mistakes pls just ignore my brain is fried :( 

masterlist  |  previous , chapter eighteen , next

issei remembers the day the two of you had decided on your arrangement, clearly too. maybe it’s because, looking back now, it’s the first real clue on the consequences.

this had been maybe the third (or had it been fourth) time either of you you had woken up naked in each other’s beds, limbs tangled and muscles sore from their exhaustion. you’d been half asleep in his arms, eyes barely open, cheek pressed to his chest and arm slung across his torso. only minutes ago were you fixated on his phone’s screen, but after the night’s strenuous activities, and the warmth and comfort issei was radiating, so soothing, calming, safe, it was hard not to easily lose focus and fall into a deep slumber.

if he’d noticed, he wouldn’t have nudged you awake. but he hadn’t, so he’d lifted his shoulder, shaking you awake slightly as he locked his phone, tossing it across his bed. 

“why’d you wake me?” you’d sleepily asked, slowly lifting yourself up. a red splotch had appeared on your cheek and jaw, from having pressed against his skin for too long, and, unable to resist, he’d reached out and poked at it cheekily. he remembers you grabbing at his finger, rolling your eyes as you’d threatened to bite him.

as he’d watched you sat up, brushing your hair back and trying to smooth it over, he’d asked you. now, he realizes, it hadn’t been the right question. at the time, of course it was. he liked the way you fit against him so perfectly, the way nobody had ever felt as good as you, how responsive you were to him, the way everything felt so electric. it had been summer, the weather outside obvious on the way your skin glimmers from not just where you’d been beneath him. the summer after graduation, where uncertainty was at its highest. commitment was scary in every way, and so were big decisions. both of you already had the responsibility of your future on your shoulders. his suggestion had been perfect for your situation.

“do you wanna keep doing this?”

if only he’d had the courage to take it further. fate had spelled it out for him, handed it to him on a silver platter. you were his past, his present, and so obviously, his future. and yet, he’d hesitated. he’d faltered, stuttered, wavered, and then he’d had to watch you belong to another man for a night, and for however long it was meant to.

“that’s an— amazing idea,” you’d gasped. “why didn’t we think of that last time?”

he’d laughed lightly, welcoming you easily into his embrace as you’d leaned forward, hovering your lips above his as you had added, “or the time before that?” before kissing him lightly, crawling closer to him. “or the time before that?” you had repeated, kissing him again, sleep having completely worn off. he’d helped you onto his lap, your skin feeling so pretty and perfect against his large hands as he’d kneaded and massaged your waist and hips, pulling you even closer to him.

and now, as he locks his car, walking to your front door, he somehow feels you upon his lips.

the memory is frustrating, and he’s reminded awfully of the things he’d do to kiss you again. even if he hadn’t noticed and recognized it then, it had been nothing short of heaven. 

heels in your hand, a just freshly used lipstick tube in the other, you rush towards the door when the bell rings loud, praying that it’s not an unexpected guest and one of your boys instead

“coming!” you call out loudly, placing the lipstick aside and finally opening the door. at the sight of issei on the other side, you relax, sighing lightly.

“can’t say i haven’t seen you this relieved to see me before,” he teases, smirking familiarly down at you. even after ending it, he still manages to slip in a sex joke or two— you can’t say you blame him.

you roll your eyes, still managing to smile lightly as you step aside, allowing him to enter. his figure now properly illuminating, you’re able to fully take him in. it’s unsurprising that he looks good; issei’s always managed to effortlessly look put together, even in the most casual of clothes. but maybe it’s because he’s not in casual clothes that you feel a yearning for him you haven’t had since he’d been naked in your bed over a month back. he’s dressed in black on black, a button up and slacks. the button up’s sleeves are rolled up to his mid forearms, and on his wrist are two leather bands. but most importantly, on his fingers are a multitude of rings, silver and black, thick and thin, accentuating just how nice his hands really are.

“a blazer would’ve been too much, hm?” he interrupts your staring, cracking his knuckles lightly.

“like you own one,” you joke, smiling tauntingly as you lead the way to your living room.

laughing loudly, he follows you as you make your way to the couch, sitting down and placing your heels by your feet. but just as you’re about to grab at one of the heels, he beats you to it, lifting it up, before tapping at your knee. “let me,” he offers, outstretching a hand expectedly.

raising a brow, you observe him carefully. but because this is issei, it’s issei, you don’t think twice as you lift your leg over his lap, letting his hands brush against your ankle as he fits the heel on. “wow, ‘sei, didn’t think you’re down this bad,” you laugh, lifting your other leg up to let him put your other heel on. he rolls his eyes at your words, smiling softly. as he secures it, you lift a hand to his shoulder, adding, “thank you.”

“no, thank you, for flashing me,” he says, finger reaching out for your dress’s strap, hooking through it and lifting it over your shoulder. you hold back a shiver when his finger brushes against your skin. 

you spare a glance down, scoffing as you reply, “you’ve seen worse.”

“you mean better,” he corrects you, and you stifle a laugh, shaking your head as you fix yourself up, fumbling with your hair and dress and accessories. “what are you stressing so much about? you look gorgeous.”

your hands falter slightly at his words, and you smile softly at him, relaxing. “so you meant what you said?”

“when have i ever not?”

the doorbell rings again.

slowly, but surely, your home starts to fill with people. right after issei had been makki, iwaizumi, and oikawa, but not long after had the karasuno third years — and some past first and second years too, including a certain, lively, ginger boy — arrived. it’s a surprise seeing hinata slightly taller now, and he jokes that it won’t be long before he’s surpassing everyone in the room.

you spend the time between that and when the next people arrive catching up with everyone, learning what they’ve been up to. it’s a lot less awkward than you’d imagined, and you easily fall into comfortable talk, and  soon a lighthearted atmosphere builds.

when semi first sees you, he smiles, softly. he grabs at your hand and twirls you around, telling you that you look so pretty, dove. the nickname as always, makes your heart flutter in your chest, but just like the last time you’d been with him, it also aches. terribly so.

it’s eleven thirty when your home is properly flooded with people, half an hour away from midnight. someone had taken the liberty of dimming the lights slightly, and everyone had long since gotten comfortable. as you glance at the couch occupied by a couple making out — you’re barely able to identify their figures among the other people that crowd around them and the darkness that surrounds the couple — and at the drinks and foods scattered across the room, you realize just how much of a pain this’ll be to clean up.

thankfully, you have four extremely athletic boys as your backbone. it’s the only thing that keeps your mind at ease when you watch someone’s drink spill all over them and on the floor.

you’re pulled out of your thoughts, both literally and figuratively, when a familiar redhead grips at your wrist— a now bald redhead?

“tendō? oh my god, you shaved your hair!” you’re practically yelling over the loud music booming through the house — please, do not let the cops raid this party — eyes wide at the man before you.

he laughs loudly, eyes closing and head thrown back, before he rubs his hand over his hair, or what’s left of it. “ya like it, huh?” he asks loudly, beaming down at you.

you nod excitedly, gripping at his hands tightly. “i actually really do. suits you,” you chuckle.

he laughs again, replying with a heartfelt thank you, holding onto you just as eagerly as he adds, “come on, let’s dance, pretty girl.”

by the time the countdown is nearly about to start, you’d been roped into dancing with tendō and kuroo, whose friend bokuto had jumped in the middle of it all. makki’s easily drawn to vibes like these, so, unexpectedly, you’d found him by your side immediately. bursting with adrenaline and slightly overwhelmed, you’d pulled kiyoko and any other girls you had come across into the small dance circle you and the rest had created. unsurprisingly, kiyoko’s an incredible dancer. it’s freeing and intoxicating, the way you’re able to let loose, to be so carefree, inhibitions mostly lost. 

you’re breathless and sweaty as everyone eventually groups and pairs off aside, hair pulled up and out of your face to air yourself out slightly. the room is buzzing with excitement as the last minutes before midnight pass, drinks in hand and cheers prepared.

issei finds you exactly sixty seconds before midnight.

you’re walking in the opposite direction, but his hand latches onto your wrist, turning you around. when you spot and recognize him before you, you beam, walking closer to him.

“hey,” you greet him, smiling warmly. his expression only slightly mirrors yours, laced more with worry than you, and more than you’d ever seen on him, and when his hand leaves your wrist, it only finds your hand instead. but you don’t pull away at it. you let him test the waters, his hand shakily slipping into yours, thumb brushing over your knuckles.

near you, someone calls out the thirty second mark.

“i have to tell you something.”

he’s a lot closer now, his grip on your hand tightening, almost as if nervously, your confusion growing.

“right now?” you wonder, watching as he nods.

the twenty second mark is yelled out from someone that sounds an awful lot like oikawa.

“right now,” he replies. “it should have been a long time ago though.”

your brows furrow, and you cock your head slightly, stepping closer to him. “you can tell me anything,” you promise him, reassuring. you squeeze your hand in his, urging another smile on your face as his eyes meet yours. 

“anything?”

you nod encouragingly, almost feeling the time tick by. the room starts to feel smaller. 

“nobody could ever compare,” he starts, just as someone calls out the ten second mark. your eyes search for meaning in his, but you’re clueless. the countdown begins, from ten to nine to eight, and he continues, “nobody.”

“issei—“

“— four, three, two!—“

“i love you.”

“—HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

and then he kisses you.

end note; 🦋🦋🦋 enjoy this while it lasts loves <3 

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i’m sorry if tumblr won’t tag you :( let me know if you’re not getting notifications or i misspelt or missed your @! 

[smutsonian]

Hi there! Can I please place request? How about nomad Steve angst with loads of tears with happy ending? Make it dark please? Probably he impregnates you and leaves you for someone else but when he sees Bruce taking care of you it pisses him off and he makes you his? Probably takes Bucky to help 👀

keep you safe

steve rogers x reader ft. bruce banner

warnings: dark fic, dark!steve, angst, manipulation, drugging, panic attack, toxic steve(he’s back guys), fucked up shit, not proofread

word count: 3.7k

a/n: ouch... also, this is all over the place. I’m sorry this one doesn’t have smut just pure manipulation and darkness and angst also im going to consider this as a oneshot

masterlist

- So, I’m thinking like maybe you and Steve were together before the civil war even happened?

- Like he’s still this soft puppy and he really took his time with you.

- He was this very shy but very romantic guy. A real gentleman who took you on a lot of dates before even making a move to kiss you. AND you were the first to initiate the kiss.

- It’s easy to say that falling in love with this man was inevitable. 

- It was perfect. He was perfect. You were perfect.

- Then suddenly it wasn’t.

- Steve started acting strange and distant and it’s not normal for you to doubt his love for you because he’s Steve. He always, and I mean ALWAYS make you feel how much he loves you.

- But is it possible that he’s not in love with you anymore?

- Then you find out that you’re pregnant and you would’ve been ecstatic if it weren’t for the downfall you’re facing called your relationship with Steve.

- You’ve been imagining this moment your whole relationship with Steve. How the both of you would be crying with joy and how the both of you will be planning for your future but that’s not happening right now is it? 

- The only thing that happened is the crying part and it was just you crying. Not with joy but with fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of abandonment. And the fear of having to raise a child alone if Steve didn’t want one with you.

- Then flashes of memories you had with Steve appear in your eyes and a smile works its way back to your lips.

- What the hell were you even thinking? Steve would be delighted to find out.

- Steve loves you and he’s just busy with his never ending missions. Steve loves you... Right?

- Wrong.

- The moment you got Steve alone, he seemed very irritated that he’s even in a room with you and that didn’t really help you. You were finding it hard to announce the news and how he’s acting is not helping.

- “Is there a reason for this? I’m very busy, Y/N,” he grumbles but you weren’t offended by his dismissiveness. All that’s going on inside your mind is how he called you by your name. Long gone were the nicknames he always had for you. There was no love when he said your name, only annoyance.

- “I-I have to tell you something,” you stuttered, no longer very fond of the idea about telling him but he deserves to know. Is it horrible to think that maybe he’ll change once he finds out? Will it seem like you’re tying him down with your pregnancy?

- “Well get on with it.,” he says dismissively. Something flashed in his eyes before a grin falls on his lips. For a moment, you thought he was back to his usual self and that made you breathe a little better. “I have to tell you something as well,” he adds before motioning for you to continue.

- “I... Steve, I’m pregnant.” You just went for it, afraid that you may back out when you stalled more.

- Steve’s reaction was nothing you expected. He was too relaxed and you didn’t know if you’re going to be relieved or scared.

- “And I want to break up with you.” His face showed arrogance and the smile that you used to love so much made your skin crawl. It’s like he lived on making you feel this way.

- What exactly were you feeling? Betrayal? Sadness? Anger? No. You can never bring yourself to be mad at him. 

- “Is that all?” He asks, his tone getting really impatient that easily makes you feel very belittled and insignificant.

- You can’t find yourself to do anything as Steve rolls his eyes before turning around to walk away. 

- You managed to whisper a small “W-wait.” Thankful for his super soldier serum for hearing you.

- He stares at you, still impatient. 

- “I-Is that it?” Your eyes started to water, everything falling into you and you start to realize what’s happening.

- “A-are we over? That’s it? You’re breaking up with me because y-you don’t want t-the baby? We can work things out, Steve. It’s... I- It’s normal for couples to not get along sometimes. We can work things out. We always do!” You didn’t even realize that you were crying, whining, or sobbing. You just remember trying your best to make him stay.

- “This is really pathetic, Y/N. I thought you were better than this.” He shakes his head in disappointment which only added a new scar to your heart. You don’t want him being disappointed by you. 

- “You want a reason? I’ll give you one. I’ll give you more than one. We are no longer working out. It’s not the same anymore. We’ve obviously fallen apart and I met Sharon...” His face shows guilt and you being so in love with the man, that guilt gave you hope. If he feels guilty then maybe he still cares about you...

- “I never did anything with her, though. Not when I’m still with you. I’m not that kind of man. I’m doing you a favor by breaking up with you. I’m not going to cheat on you, Y/N. I cared about you. I loved you. But this is the end for us. As for the pregnancy... Time changed a lot in this place. I’m pretty sure there are lots of choices for you...” He gives your shoulder a pat before turning around and leaving. Never once looking back at your disheveled form.

- Your heart hurt. The pain was all over you and your ears were ringing and all that’s going on inside your mind is how Steve left you. He told you that he cared and loved you and that’s all in the past now.

- If you didn’t know whether to be relieved or scared earlier, now you do. 

- And just like that, you forced yourself to leave. You didn’t know what to do, who to call, where to go. You just know that you had to leave the tower. You were no longer with Steve. You didn’t have the right to be in that place anymore. 

- You just had to go.

- You were never really trying to move on. You tried but then you gave up because you can never get over a guy like Steve. You loved him. You still love him. Him loving someone else doesn’t really stop you from loving him. You should but you can’t. And you really didn’t want to. 

- You stayed at a friend’s house for a while. They were nice enough to lend you a place to stay, though it’s for a limited amount of time, you were still very thankful. Beggars can’t be choosers.

- You never heard from Steve. Last time you got an update about him was when the news reporter was announcing that the hero was a wanted criminal now. Something about the winter soldier. 

- You immediately realized that the winter soldier is his long time friend from all the stories that he used to tell you when you were still together. 

- You didn’t know what to feel but you forced yourself to not care. You can’t do anything about it. You only hoped he was in a safe place. You shouldn’t care that much but you did. You still can’t forget about him. Not when you’re carrying his child.

- You were walking around the city, desperately finding a job when you bumped into him. 

- Bruce Banner.

- You never really got to get to know him much because when you met him, he was timid and you only ever really talked to him when you bump into him in the tower. And then he disappeared and that’s that.

- But he’s there right in front of you and you didn’t think he’d actually notice you or remember who you are but he did. And he greeted you with a smile. A smile that he never really wore back then.

- “Y/N? Is that you?” He laughed before bringing you into a hug. Well, that’s new. 

- “Bruce? Where have you been?” You laughed before returning the hug.

- “It’s a long story... How are you?” He offered to treat you lunch and you followed. You’re basically homeless in a few days so might as well accept blessings when you can, right?

- You told him everything that happened. You told him that you had no idea where Steve is because you broke up before he became a war criminal.

- He noticed your growing stomach and it was quite hilarious and adorable how he was so shy about asking so you told him about it.

- “Yeah, I’m pregnant.” You chuckled at his embarrassed face then apologizing to you for staring. You waved it off, telling him that it’s fine.

- “Sorry to ask but Captain left you even after you told him?” Bruce looks bewildered and disgusted and you could only nod in response, face falling at the memories.

- “Where are you staying right now?” Bruce asked with worry written all over his face.

- “At a friend’s...” You so desperately wanted to ask for help but now is the time that your pride decided to show up.

- “I don’t think that’s safe for you and the baby... You were... The captain’s girlfriend and people can use you for bait. Especially now that he’s wanted... Listen, the tower is really empty right now. Only Tony, Rhodes, and I. I can talk to Tony about it. You can stay there and nobody would even know that you’re there. I’m staying there and nobody knows but Tony...” Bruce’s words gave you hope and you could only nod in tears of joy. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad for you.

- You understand why Bruce wanted to be hidden and that’s something that the both of you would bond over.

- After a few more months, you got bigger. (yep, you kept the baby and fuck steve and his fucking fuckity fuck)

- Bruce is a doctor and you grew to trust him as time went by so it’s normal for him to be the one checking up on you.

- You became very close with Bruce and you found solace in him. He just seems like he knew everything that he’s doing and you felt safe with him. You and your baby are safe with him.

- Steve never really left your mind, not when his child is growing inside of you, but you learned how to live without him.

- You avoided the news because you didn’t want to hear about him, an exercise you taught yourself to become somewhat better.

- So imagine your surprise when he shows up at the tower.

- He looked different. Longer and darker hair. Beard. He looked well and you hated how relieved you were at the thought of him being safe and healthy.

- You locked eyes with him and everything came back to you.

- The hurt you felt when he tossed you aside and the hurt you felt when he dismissed you and your baby.

- You felt sick when you saw his eyes traveling down your body and staring at your very swollen stomach.

- You began breathing unevenly and your chest was becoming tighter. Steve made you nervous. You hate how you feel insecure under his gaze. You hate how you feel like you’re disappointing him and you hate your heart still yearns for him.

- You felt hands snaking around your frame comfortingly and Bruce’s familiar voice brings you out of your mind. 

- “Breathe, Y/N… Breathe....” He guided you out of the room, needing the privacy and you thanked him for that after you’re finally breathing properly.

- What you didn’t see was Steve’s fuming face when he saw how Bruce held you and how you reacted to the doctor’s touch. The way you calmed down after hearing his voice. 

- Steve remembered how you started panicking after seeing him and he hated how you reacted that way towards him but he hates how you reacted towards Bruce the most.

- Steve’s hatred was drowned by the swelling of his heart when he saw you and your stomach. You’re still carrying his baby and he’s so thankful that you kept his child. He couldn’t love you more at that moment.

- Yes. He loves you. He came back for you and to see you in somebody else’s arms? To see you being comforted by someone else than him? He knows that he’s at fault and he probably deserve it but he’s going to do better. He’s going to be the best he can be. He’s going to be the best for you.

- He’s going to be the man that you would need. You and his baby.

- He’s got a lot to pay for and he’s going to do just that. If only you can cooperate with him…

- Steve watches as Bruce does your ultrasound. He should be there with you but he’s giving you time. He’s giving you space. He doesn’t want you getting overwhelmed again. It’s not healthy for you or the baby so he stands in the shadows, watching you and the baby on the screen.

- “Is that him?” Your voice wavers in excitement and Steve wanted nothing else but to hold your hand but he can’t. Instead, he just watches Bruce’s hand gripping yours in comfort and that just won’t work for Steve… He needs to talk to you.

- “He’s so small but so big at the same time!” Your laugh makes Steve’s heart swell with joy. He will get you back. He’ll do anything and if you don’t want to… He’ll make you want to.

- Steve finally gets you alone. He didn’t force himself on you. He waited. He waited and waited and now you’re ready to finally talk to him.

- “Doll…” He goes over to you to hug you but you step back, avoiding him. If that didn’t hurt his heart, the words you spoke did.

- “Captain.” Your words were short and curt. It’s like you didn’t even want to be there with him at all. And what’s with you calling him captain?

- “I wanted to talk to you, doll.” His voice was soft like honey and you feel your heart pounding with joy but you remained stoic.

- “Well, get on with it.” You should be feeling some sort of relief for repeating his word back then to him but you only felt guilt and the need to comfort him when his face fell and a dejected expression takes place on his face.

- “I-I want to apologize, first of all. You didn’t deserve anything I said back then. I was horrible an- and… I just wanted you to know that I never wanted to hurt you, doll. I love yo-”

- “Well you hurt me. You hurt me a lot.” You cut him off, the stoic expression you were holding is now gone. Steve’s face turns into guilt and he makes a move towards you again but you stop him with a shake of your head.

- “I don’t want to do anything with you right now. I… I don’t even know why you’re bothering to talk to me right now when you were so eager to get rid of me back then. What changed?” You looked at him with those eyes that Steve always felt weak for. He hated himself for hurting you but that’s the only way for you to be safe. He was going to look for Bucky and that will bring a lot of problems and he didn’t want you to be caught in between his fights. He loves you too much and at that time, he believed that hurting you was the best option.

- “I wanted you to be safe, Y/N…” Steve explained, his hand weakly reaching for you but every time you would reject him just adds another stab into his bleeding heart.

- “Well, fuck.” You spat. Steve looked at you in confusion, almost flinching at the way you’re glaring at him.

- “You wanted me safe?” You let out a humorless laugh and this time, Steve flinches.

- “Well thank you, I guess.” You say, voice not holding any emotion anymore. Steve liked you being mad at him rather than this. He didn’t like how you seem like you’ve given up feeling anything for him. He’d rather you mad at him than nothing at all. He deserves your anger towards him. Not this.

- “Well, you can continue making sure I’m safe by fucking off and leaving me to myself then.” That’s the last thing you said before leaving, never once looking back at his disheveled form.

- Steve hated how he feels but he knows that he deserves every single stab in his heart. He knows he deserves more hurting. He wants you to hurt him but you’d never do that. Not his Y/N.

- You’re right though. He will keep you safe. He’ll show you just how much he can take care of you and make you safe. 

- He’ll make sure to have you back in his arms. You’re going to be a family and he’ll protect his family at all cost. He’s never loved a woman as he loves you. Not Sharon and not Peggy. 

- You never talked to Steve after that confrontation but you still see him. You see him watching over you and you couldn’t help but feel the swelling of your heart whenever you see him.

- You’d see him putting your favorite cereal box down on the counter before you can enter the kitchen so you wouldn’t have to reach for it.

- You’d see him doing simple things to keep you safe and each time, you find yourself longing for the old days you had with him. You find yourself longing for Steve.

- Then it happened.

- Bucky somehow got triggered into becoming the winter soldier and your first reaction would be to find Steve but this time, you didn’t. You went to Bruce. 

- Steve’s jaw clenches when he sees you running towards the lab to find Bruce, your hand protecting your stomach. Steve ran towards the lab as well, knowing too well what’s about to happen and he’ll be there to save the day.

- Looking for Bruce didn’t end well because he found you. Not Bruce but the green angry man. The hulk.

- He was shouting while the winter soldier was watching the green man with interest. He somehow managed to trigger the hulk. Your heart skipped a beat at the thought of someone controlling your best friend.

- “Bruce! It’s me!” You shout but the green man only growled before pouncing at you. 

- You turned around, crouching and hugging your stomach to protect your baby but the impact never happened.

- The sound of clashing and fighting made you turn around and you see Steve dodging the hulk’s punches with his shield and your heart leaped in relief. You relaxed for a second before feeling worried for Steve. 

- It’s like a normal reaction for your body to feel safe with Steve and your brain is starting to believe that too. You remembered his words from before… He just wanted you to be safe. 

- He hurt you to keep you safe and you’re starting to understand that now.

- “Y/N!” You see him running towards you with worry written all over his face.

- “Are you okay?!” He asked, hands shaking as he scanned you for any scars.

- “I-I’m fine, Steve… Are you okay?” You tried to look him over for scars but he pulled you into a hug, crying and shaking against your body as he rubbed his hand behind your back.

- “I thought you got hurt. I thought I failed… I just wanted to protect you…” He choked on his words and you hugged him tighter.

- You understand everything now.

- He just wanted to keep you safe.

- You pulled back from the hug before wiping his tears away with your thumbs. 

- “What about Bucky and Bruce?” You turned to look behind him but Steve stopped you.

- “Bucky’s alright. He’s back and he’s bringing Bruce to the medbay…” Steve breathes heavily, reminding you of the battle he just had.

- “A-Are you okay, Steve?” You repeat your question and he nods in response before pulling you into a hug again.

- “I don’t care about me. As long as you’re safe. As long as you’re both safe…” He pulls back before pressing a hand on your stomach.

- “I’ll feel safe when you’re both safe. I’ll only feel safe when I know you’re safe. Y/N… Doll… I am fucking sorry for hurting you. There’s no excuse for that. I understand if you don’t want to see me anymore... What I did was horri-”

- “Steve.” You cut him off and he looks at you with sadness and regret.

- You cup his face with both hands before smiling.

- “Thank you, Steve. Thank you for keeping me safe. For keeping us safe.” You grabbed Steve’s right hand before placing it back on your stomach.

- “You keep us safe… Thank you, Steve.” You see Steve’s eyes starting to water once more and you giggle before moving in, stopping just a few inches from his face. 

- Your eyes flutter before you leaned closer, finally closing the distance and kissing him.

- You feel his hand moving from your stomach to your back to pull you closer and tighter to his body.

- “I love you, Y/N. I love you so fucking much.” He whispers through the kiss.

- “I’ll always keep you safe, Y/N. I will never hurt you anymore. I’ll be the best husband and father…” He whispers before lifting you up.

- “I’ll keep you safe.” He whispers one last time before carrying you back to your room. The room that you’ll be sharing with him soon. Actually, you wouldn’t even need that room because Steve will make sure to get a place where the two of you can be alone. The tower isn’t safe for you anymore. Only Steve can keep you safe.

- Steve celebrates in his mind as the mission went successfully. With Bucky helping him. With how they were able to drug Bruce’s coffee. Everything went perfectly. You fell right back into his arms.

- And Steve will keep his promise.

- He’ll keep you safe.

- He’ll keep his family safe. 

------

undeserved happy ending for steve but what about it💀

taglist

General: @readermia @unlikelygalaxygiver @xoxabs88xox @anncutamarica @chaoticfiretaconerd @i-love-superhero @caffiend-queen @coconutqueen21 @jtargaryen18 @jennmurawski13 @mushyjellybeans @ninjabucky @evnscvll @buckstaybucky @donutloverxo @rebloggingeverything @adriannajackson @la-cey @awaywithtime @gotnofucks @littlegasps

Anything Chris: @patzammit @princess-evans-addict @shadowcatsworld @notyourtypicalrose @onetwo3000 @bluemusickid @heyiamthatbitch @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @empath-bunny @slytherinandoutasgard

Chris and seb: @harrysthiccthighss

Marvel: @jemzeraion

[keanureevesisbae]

sugar sugar - march.

Summary: To make up for his behavior, Henry takes Becky with him on a business trip.

Sugar Daddy!Henry Cavill x Becky Kim (asian OFC)

Warnings: THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET HEATED. SMUT, that includes blowjob and some improper touching and just nakedness 👀👀

Wordcount: 6k

Masterlist // Sugar Sugar Masterlist // Previous chapter // Next chapter

March 5nd 9 p.m.

Since Henry told me about his past, therefore the reason for his outburst and I went to my own apartment, he hasn’t contacted me. Sure, he transferred some money to me, like he usually does, but I was under the impression that he was actively avoiding me. In our apartment building, but also at work. I keep rethinking about everything I said to him that day.

Wasn’t I thoughtful enough? Not sympathetic towards him enough?

Does this mean he doesn’t want me around anymore?

It’s around nine in the evening and I’m still at Midnight, contemplating whether or not I should go to his floor. I know for a fact he is still here. He is only working nowadays. Even his assistant came to the archives the other day, asking me if Henry was okay, because he is aware of the fact I talk to Henry outside of work.

I know I can go up to his floor when I want to, but I don’t want to intrude. Maybe he is really sick of me and is he gonna “break-up” with me in the near future. Today however is the day I decide I should go up to his floor.

I step into the elevator and scan my pass. Thankfully I’m still granted permission. It means he isn’t that sick of me yet.

Or he forgot to revoke my access to his floor.

The doors slide open and I see Henry standing near the window, his back towards the elevator as he looks over the city.

‘Henry?’ I ask him. ‘Can I come in?’

‘Sure.’

His tone is flat, he doesn’t call me darling or baby of sweetheart and he doesn’t turn around. It hurts, I’m not gonna lie. I miss it when his face would light up the second he saw me and he would pat his desk as an invitation for me to sit on.

I place my bag on his table and stand next to him. He stares out of the window and I take a deep breath. ‘Are you mad at me?’ I ask.

‘Why would I be mad at you?’

‘Because you haven’t called me in a week, or texted me and I feel like you are avoiding me.’ The tears burn in my eyes, though I try to blink them away. Now is not the time to cry. ‘I was worried.’

He sighs. ‘I fucked up.’

I don’t understand. ‘What?’

‘Becky, you had to take me to the hospital of all places, all because I couldn’t handle my emotions as a grown man and started throwing stuff around my apartment.’

‘So?’ I ask him. ‘What’s wrong with taking you to a hospital?’

He shakes his head. ‘It’s not exactly in your job description.’

I scoff. ‘Moving into the same apartment building as you and working at your company isn’t either,’ I say. ‘You can be honest with me. Don’t you want me around you anymore?’

‘That is nonsense,’ he says, his voice a little bit louder than before, causing me to tense up. He must’ve noticed that, because in a softer tone he adds: ‘Of course I want you. Becky, I’m just sorry for what you had to do. I’m embarrassed that you saw me like that.’

I blink my eyes. ‘But you don’t need to apologize, nor feel embarrassed about anything that happened that day,’ I say, taking his hand in mine. ‘It only showed me that certain things opened certain wounds and that is all okay. It was hard on you and still can be, when your past haunts you when you least expect it, but you have to know that you can show me what is going on inside your head. You don’t have to be composed and collected all the time, especially not when I’m around. You can trust me, Henry..’

Henry clenches his jaw, unsure of what he has to say.

The tears now stream over my cheeks. ‘Please,’ I whisper, my voice cracking in the process, ‘say something to me.’

He pulls his hand out of mine and before I can get deeply hurt by that and cry even harder, he turns around his office chair. He pulls me on his lap as he sits and he wraps his strong arms around me. ‘I’m so sorry, Becky,’ he whispers, ‘I should’ve called you. I shouldn’t have shut you out and made you doubt what we have.’

I curl up against his chest, wiping my tears away. ‘Don’t feel sorry, Henry. This hasn’t changed anything about the way I think of you. Just know that you can always tell me what’s on your mind. Know that you can let me in.’

‘I know that. It’s just uncomfortable to do so.’

‘I understand.’ I play with his tie and say: ‘I still think you are amazing. I am so lucky to have you in my life.’

He chuckles, as his fingers run through my hairs. ‘I missed you a lot, baby.’

‘I missed you too,’ I admit. ‘So, we’re good again?’

‘Yeah, we’re all good.’

I close my eyes as I melt against him. Thankfully I feel a bit better now, since we cleared the air. He still wants me to be around him, I’m not annoying him and he feels safe with me.

If that isn’t a compliment, then I don’t know anymore.

‘I have a meeting in a few days,’ Henry tells me, ‘and I want you with me on the trip.’

‘Really?’ I ask him. ‘I’d love to. Where is it? Is it LA? Please tell me it’s LA, I’ve always wanted to go there.’

‘It’s not LA,’ he says. ‘It’s Barbados.’

‘Barbados?’ I squeal, sitting up a bit straighter so I can look into his beautiful blue orbs.

He smiles. ‘I arranged a hotel room for us with a lovely view,’ he says, ‘and a private pool.’

I gasp. ‘A private pool? Henry, are you insane?’

‘No, just rich, baby,’ he says with a smile. ‘You want to come with me?’

‘Is that even a question?’ I ask him. ‘When are we leaving?’

‘Two days.’

‘Two days?’ I roll my eyes. ‘I need to go shopping, Henry. I don’t own any bathing suits.’

He shrugs. ‘Is that necessary?’

I laugh. ‘We’re not going skinny dipping,’ I tell him, though the idea of swimming with Henry naked causes me to blush. ‘I’m taking the day off tomorrow. I need a few cute bathing suits.’

March 9th 5 p.m.

We’ve been in Barbados for around two days now and boy, do I want to live here. This weather, the people here, I love everything about it. Henry on the other hand barely gets to enjoy it, because he works a lot. Before I leave the hotel, he hands me his credit card and tells me that I can spend as much money as I want to. I try to tell him that I have my own money, but he wouldn’t let me leave if I didn’t accept the card.

The problems I have now.

After a long day of strolling through the city, acting like the ultimate tourist, I go back to the hotel and most of the times he is home. We cook together, watch some movies together and it’s almost the norm for him to carry me to my bed after I fell asleep on the couch.

But now we finally spend some time together and I force him to check out the private pool with me. It’s still beyond me that he arranged that for us. An entire pool with jacuzzi’s and sauna’s, all for us.

While I swim in the lukewarm pool, Henry is still doing business on his laptop. I want to scold him, but I feel like that’ll be no use. I continue to enjoy the fact that there are no other people here in the pool with us. No one can stare at me and I know Henry will never judge me for the way I look.

I see him standing up from the lounge chair and he walks over to the side, as I place my underarms on the edge. ‘Henry Cavill, you completely outdone yourself. I love this place.’

‘I’m glad to hear that,’ he says with a smile. ‘Want to join me in the jacuzzi?’

‘Always,’ I say. I’ve seen the size of those things, and it means sitting close to Henry and there is nothing in the world I want more right now.

I want to get out of the water myself, but he holds me underneath my armpits and lifts me out of the water. ‘Henry!’ I exclaim. ‘I am perfectly capable of getting out of the pool myself.’

He holds me hand and pulls me with me. ‘I know, I know, I just like this better.’

We step in the jacuzzi and Henry pulls me in between his legs. I sit down and lean with my back against his chest. I knew he had a body to die for and I am aware he would never make me feel insecure, but he does it without doing it on purpose. While I can hide my imperfections in other types of clothing, this bathing suit barely leaves anything to the imagination. I was just so in love with the baby blue color, that I bought it when I saw it fit.

Henry wraps an arm around my waist, his fingers drawing figures on my skin. ‘Is this okay with you, baby?’

I love it when he asks for my consent, no matter what he does. ‘Mhm.’

‘Is that a yes or a no?’

‘A yes,’ I whisper.

He lets out a deep and content sigh. ‘Have I told you today that you are absolutely beautiful?’

I shake my head.

‘Well,’ he says, ‘you are absolutely beautiful.’

‘I’m not.’

He scoffs. ‘That’s nonsense, baby.’ His hand travels up a bit more. ‘You are breathtaking.’

I don’t think this happened to me before, someone telling me that I’m breathtaking, while touching me like that. ‘You really think so?’

‘I do,’ he whispers. ‘You can feel beautiful and confident when you’re around me.’ His hand travels up near my midriff and his thumb toys with the fabric of the bottom of my bikini top. ‘Is this still okay?’

I take a shaky breath. ‘Yes.’ I let my head fall back against his shoulder and nuzzle my face in his neck, smelling the remainders of his after shave. I want him to touch me, so badly. I don’t know how long I’ve craved it, just like I have no idea as to how I should initiate it.

‘Take it off.’

That’s one way to initiate it. Bravo Becky.

For one second I think it takes him off guard, but then he asks: ‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes.’

He tugs on the string of my top and the flimsy material uncovers my chest. He mutters something under his breath, peeling away the top from my body and placing it behind him.

His large hands cup my breasts and he rolls my nipples in between his thumbs and index fingers.

I dig my nails in his legs, as I squirm in between them. A soft whimper leaves my lips. When was the last time someone has touched me like this?

‘You feel so soft,’ he tells me, before his teeth sink in my earlobe. ‘Turn around,’ he whispers, ‘let me see you.’ I twist in between his legs, kneeling in front of him. He places his hands on my hips, pulling me closer. ‘Sit on my lap, baby.’

I straddle his legs, my breathing speeding up with excitement. I’ve had my mingles, sure, but it never felt like this. It never felt like I was being worshipped, because that is what’s happening here. He looks at me like I’m worth a million bucks. He licks his lips and whispers: ‘Are you still okay with this?’

‘Yes, it’s all good.’

Henry leans forward, to press a gentle kiss between my breasts, his warm breath sending chills up and down my spine. He lets his tongue circle around the sensitive bud, as he uses his hand to make sure the other isn’t neglected. I whimper, as my hands tug on his curls. His other hand slides down from my hip to the curve of my ass.

My core grinds against his groin and he looks up with a smile. ‘Look at you, baby,’ he says with a proud smile on his face. ‘Does this feel good?’

I simply nod, as I don’t trust my voice anymore. There is so much I want to do. Pull his face to mine, so I can kiss him. Making this moment even more magical than it already is…

‘Mister Cavill, important phone call.’

From where we’re at, the man who calls for Henry can’t see us, but I still tense up as our moment is brutally interrupted. Henry leans back and exhales sharply, a hint of frustration noticeable. ‘Be right there,’ he flatly yells back. Our eyes meet again and he says: ‘I’m so sorry, baby. I’ll be right back, okay?’

‘Okay,’ I whisper, as I step off his lap. Henry gets out of the jacuzzi and hands me my bikini top. He walks out and I quickly make myself decent again, as I reevaluate what the hell just happened.

I mean, I clearly did not mind at all (still don’t, by the way), but how can I look this man in the eye again after what we just did? He sucked on my fucking nipple for crying out loud and it left an obvious tingle in certain body parts.

It takes about fifteen minutes before Henry walks back and he sits on the edge of the jacuzzi. ‘Becky,’ he says, as I look up. ‘I’m terribly sorry. I let myself go and… I shouldn’t have.’

I shake my head, feeling slightly disappointed. ‘No, don’t apologize, please. I let it happen and I didn’t mind.’ Still don’t actually. I run my fingers through my wet hair and look at the clock. It’s already kinda late. ‘You want dinner?’ I ask.

✤ ✤ ✤

My brain is unable to think about anything else, but the jacuzzi incident. I roll around in my bed, trying to find the right position for me to fall asleep. I clench my thighs together, hoping to relieve some tension, but it’s not enough. The idea of masturbating is of course circling around in my mind,  but I’m a bit scared.

What if he walks in?

It would be severely out of character if Henry would walk in unannounced, but let today be the first time.

I wonder what would’ve happened had we not been interrupted. I was literally ready to give it all to him in that moment. The question is: how can I ever initiate it again?

During our dinner, we didn’t speak about it. He simply spoke about work and I told him what I did today and what my plans were for tomorrow.

Are we ever going to mention it?

I get up from my bed when I realize it’s utterly useless to roll around in my bed and walk into the living room area. Maybe I need some tea or a late night snack. Food will probably make me sleepy. When I walk into the kitchen, however, I see Henry is already there. Oh no, he is prepping some tea as well. He looks up and smiles softly. ‘Hey,’ he says.

I clear my throat. ‘Hi.’

‘Can’t sleep either?’

I shake my head. ‘No,’ I admit, as I all of the sudden feel a bit naked, since I’m not wearing a bra underneath this large t-shirt.

Oh shit, Henry saw my boobs. What happened to us? I thought we had a no sex policy…

‘Want some tea?’

‘Sure,’ I say.

He grabs another mug and after he poured in some hot water and let the teabag soak for a while, he hands it to me.  ‘Here you go, sweetheart.’

I have no idea what to expect. In silence we drink our tea as we both sit on a chair, staring at the city. When I’ve reached the bottom of the mug, I see he is already done with his tea.

You have to say something to him, Becky. Just say the first thing that comes to mind.

‘Can I sleep in your bed tonight?’ I ask him.

That’s the first thing that comes to mind?

Henry nods. ‘Of course.’ He holds out his hand and with our fingers laced together, we walk towards his bed and get underneath the thin covers. Since it’s a lot warmer here in Barbados, then it is back in New York this time of year, it gives Henry a reason to sleep in only his boxers.

I saw him shirtless today, but it sure as hell makes me slightly giddy to see his thick thighs, his broad chest and perfectly shaped ass. He holds out his arm as an invitation for me to cuddle up next to him.

‘What we did today,’ I whisper, ‘will it change what we have?’

‘No,’ he says, ‘absolutely not. I shouldn’t have done it. I’m terribly sorry.’

I nod. ‘Okay,’ I say, trying to hide my disappointment.

Because I kinda hoped we would maybe do it again.

March 10th 7 a.m.

It’s around seven in the morning when I wake up. I’m kinda disoriented, but then I realize I’m on top of him again, my chest firmly pressed against his. I feel Henry’s hands on my back and ass. Is that really how he held me during the night?

My shoulders are pretty cold and I don’t understand how that is possi—

Oh no, I got rid of my shirt?!

My breathing stops, as I swallow hard. Should I do something about it or not? It feels  kinda good, not gonna lie. It’s just that I’m very very naked.

Henry’s eyes flutter open and he smiles when he sees me. ‘Good morning, beautiful.’

I am slightly taken aback. ‘Good morning.’

‘Are you okay?’

I nod. ‘I just don’t know how I got rid of my shirt,’ I whisper.

He chuckles. ‘It’s okay.’

I clear my throat. ‘Henry,’ I say, ‘what you said yesterday… That I can feel beautiful and confident around you, did you mean that?’

‘Of course I meant that,’ he says. ‘There is no need to be self conscious about your body when you’re with me. You are so beautiful and you should feel beautiful, especially around me.’

‘You mean that?’

‘I do,’ he says, as he takes his hand off the curve of my bottom, to my naked back. ‘Did you sleep okay?’

‘I did,’ I say. ‘I think I’m going to take a shower.’

‘Okay, baby.’

‘Can you not look?’ I whisper.

It causes Henry to frown. ‘What?’

‘Can you close your eyes, please? I don’t want you to see me like this.’

I don’t know what goes on inside his head right now, but he simply nods and closes his eyes. I look at him for a brief second, before I push myself up and get out of bed. I grab my shirt from the floor and rush out of the room.

I look at my phone once I’m in the comfort of my room and stare at the screen. Should I inform Genevieve and Viola about this? I think they want to know if I’m honest.

My thumbs hover over the screen, but I throw my phone on the bed.

No, not gonna tell them.

March 12th 4 p.m.

We haven’t mentioned the thing that happened between us in the jacuzzi and weirdly enough, things aren’t more awkward between us. We still went to the private pool whenever we could, I still sat between his legs, but we simply kept our hands to ourselves. I slept in Henry’s bed for the remainder of our time and miraculously kept on my shirt the entire time.

And now it’s time for us to go back home and as we’re seated in the comfortable chairs of the private plane, I take in Henry’s appearance as he sits across from me. He looks tired, which isn’t surprising, since he worked pretty hard on our little trip. It made me feel kinda guilty, to just lounge on the beach or on our balcony, working on my novel.

I push myself up from my seat, walking over to him and I straddle his hips. I have no idea where this confidence is coming from, but seeing Henry’s eyes, as he bites his bottom lip, I have no regrets.

‘Is this your favorite spot to sit, baby?’ he asks in a soft tone.

I nod. ‘It might be, yeah.’ I wrap my arms around his shoulders, as he places his hands on my hips. ‘Do you mind?’

‘Absolutely not.’

Henry clears his throat as I feel him harden underneath me. Normally he is composed, but seeing how his eyes dart across the entire plane, except to me, tells me he is everything but cool and collected now. Henry’s cheeks are flushed and now I see the awkwardness he told me about on my birthday. Maybe this would be how the young Henry Cavill would react to a situation like this.

I run my fingers through his hair. ‘It’s okay,’ I whisper.

‘Sorry, baby,’ he says, rubbing his face. To him it’s clearly not okay. He is losing control and from the looks of it, that frightens him.

I unbutton his shirt and say: ‘Let me help you out.’

‘Becky, sweetheart, that’s not necessary.’

I admire his hairy chest, letting my nails drag across the flesh. ‘Do you want it, though?’ I ask him, batting my eyes.

‘Yes,’ he nearly growls.

I lean forward, to press a kiss on his chest and slowly make my way to his stomach and his happy trail. My fingers unbuckle his belt and I look up. ‘Just tell me when you want me to stop.’

‘I don’t want you to.’

‘No?’ I ask him coyly. ‘How much do you want me?’

He chuckles darkly. ‘There is no one in the world I want more right now than you.’

I unzip his fly, pulling down his pants a little, only to reveal his gracious member.

Okay yeah, he is enormous. My poor jaw. I blink my eyes, before I wrap my fingers around his shaft, my fingertips not even meeting.

Henry combs through my hair, holding the strands together in his hand, as I let my thumb circle his red tip. He sucks in a sharp breath and leans back as I let my tongue drag over his shaft. Finally, when I wrap my lips around him, his grip on my hair tightens. ‘Fuck,’ he mutters.

For a second I wonder how long it has been for him. Would it be fifteen years ago? I can’t imagine a man like that hasn’t had any one night stands in the last years.

I can barely take him for a third in my mouth, as I massage the rest with my hand. However, when I moan slightly around him, he bucks up his hips, causing me to gag on his cock as it goes a little deeper than I expected.

‘Shit, Becky, I’m so sorry,’ he says as I let out a few coughs. ‘Are you okay?’

I look up and smile. ‘I’ll take it as a compliment.’ I wrap my lips around him again, forcing him deeper as I feel him in the back of my throat.

‘That’s it, baby,’ he groans, ‘you take me so well.’

I try to open my throat, allow him even deeper.

‘Don’t force it, sweetheart,’ he softly says. ‘You’re doing a great job.’ I look up, to see Henry with his jaw clenched. He lets out a soft, but noticeable moan as I hollow my cheeks. ‘Fuck, baby, I’m close.’

It doesn’t take long before the first rope of his cum shoots in the back of my mouth. I swallow, before more fills me up and I’m out of breath by the time the last drop slides down my throat. Henry quickly tugs himself back in his pants, before pulling me on his lap. He gently wipes my chin and smiles. ‘You’re such a good girl, baby.’

‘Did you—’

‘I liked it,’ he interrupts me, understanding my insecurities before I spoke them out. ‘I sure am a lucky guy.’

I see how his eyelids are growing heavy, but I also notice this desperate need to return the favor. ‘We’re landing soon,’ I say. ‘Take a quick nap, we’re almost there.’

‘Sure?’

I nod. ‘I’m sure. You worked hard these days.’

‘Only if you stay close.’

I smile, as I already feel his hands underneath my shirt. ‘I’m not going anywhere, Henry.’ I pull his head against my chest and I run my fingers through his hairs. He lets out a deep sigh and I feel him relax. ‘I’m right here.’

✤ ✤ ✤

H. Cavill transferred $5000 to your bank account.

Description: I’m so sorry, Becky. I never meant for us to go this far.

March 13th 8 a.m.

Becky: I have a confession…

Becky: I gave Henry a blowjob on the plane yesterday.

Viola: OH SHIT

Genevieve: YEAH GIRL, GET THAT DICK

Becky: And he just transferred $5000 dollars to my account, apologizing and telling me how he never meant for us to go this far.

Becky: Quick question now

Becky: Does this make me a whore?

Genevieve: No, but I don’t get it either

Viola: I thought he was into you?

Genevieve: Shouldn’t he be happy with what happened?

Genevieve: Because that man is totally and utterly in love with you

Viola: This is confusing

Becky: To make things even worse

Becky: He sucked on my tits at the private pool days before the blowjob and we once slept semi naked??

Becky: By accident of course, the semi naked sleeping

Viola: 😳 😳 😳

Genevieve: WHO ARE YOU???

Genevieve: AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BECKY?

Becky: Oh no, I’m a hooker!

Viola: No, you’re not.

Viola: The man is just confused

Viola: Give him time

March 16th 1 p.m.

I gave Henry time, but I don’t know how much longer I need to give him. Another day, another week, a month? Does this mean we’re ending our agreement? We agreed on no sex or anything sexual in our arrangement, but is Henry that serious about that rule that he wants to break things up between us?

I can’t believe it’s the second time in a month that I’m second guessing what we have. But that’s also why I decide to step into my daredevil shoes and walk to his penthouse. Despite owning a key, I knock on his door, because you never know if that man is doing something he doesn’t want me to see and I should respect his privacy. I knock again when he doesn’t answer and this time, Henry thankfully opens the door.

‘I’m so sorry,’ I say when our eyes meet.

‘Why are you sorry?’ he asks me.

‘For what we did.’ I blink my eyes a few times and add in lightening speed to it: ‘I crossed the line with the thing on the plane. I am sorry, I shouldn’t have done that and I don’t want this to change our dynamic. I’ll never do it again.’

‘Hey, hey, hey,’ he says, ‘take a deep breath.’ He places his hands on my arms and says: ‘Don’t apologize for this.’

‘But why haven’t you spoken to me?’ I ask him. ‘You not contacting me after giving me five thousand dollars, that must indicate you are mad at me, right?’

‘Sweetheart,’ Henry says, ‘I am mad at myself, not at you.’

I was not expecting that. ‘Why are you mad at yourself?’

‘Because I let myself go,’ he says. ‘Our arrangement didn’t include this and I liked it that way.’

That’s a punch in the gut, not gonna lie. ‘Right,’ I say, trying to cover up my hurt and disappointment. ‘It’s only a one time thing, right?’

Henry nods. ‘Right.’

I bite my bottom lip as I think about something for me to say. ‘Glad we got that cleared,’ I say. ‘Were you busy?’

‘I was working, but you know I always have time for you.’

My brain is fried as we speak. He still has time for me, but he doesn’t want this to happen anymore? Is he really only keen on my company? Is he not feeling what I’m feeling? Are Viola and Genevieve wrong?

‘I should go,’ I say. ‘Gotta work on my book, it’s almost done.’

He nods. ‘Okay.’

I wiggle myself out of his hands, send him a quick smile before walking away. Tears burn in my eyes, as the events of Barbados flash through my mind. Him touching me in the jacuzzi. Him holding me in bed, as we were semi naked. The blowjob on the plane, him telling me I’m a good girl.

That wasn’t fake right?

Nothing he does is ever disingenuous.

Why would it be now?

I close the door of my room and let out a soft sob as I lean against the wood and slide down, plopping on the floor. What was I even thinking? Did I honestly thought he would want me more than this?

This is a business arrangement with a famous business man. I’m just a friend for him, a friend he can spoil.

And that’s it.

March 21st 7 p.m.

Henry: I’m taking you out for dinner at 7

That’s the text he send me two hours ago and right on time he knocks on my door. Sometimes I wonder if he lingers around the hallway, as he watches the seconds tick by so he could knock at my door at the exact right time. Seems like something he would do.

Ever since the slight heartbreak I encountered on March 16th, I made a promise to myself that I’m going to get over it and forget about the entire matter. To forget his slightly hurtful words, because I know that it wasn’t his intention to hurt me. He made it pretty obvious in the beginning that he didn’t want anything sexual. I even agreed to that. That was of course before I met him, but we have to be two consenting adults in this arrangement and if he doesn’t want to do anything sexual, then I have to accept that.

So, that means no need to get all emotional, simply because he told me he mad a mistake and doesn’t want that to happen again. I’m a mature woman, I can handle that. I should be glad that I’ve found myself a sugar daddy that is able to communicate.

I open the door and I’m met with an ever so handsome Henry, who smiles when his eyes fall on me. ‘You look gorgeous, baby,’ he says.

‘I do?’ I ask him. I smile, taking my stepping over the debacle and forget about it promise to myself very serious. I look down at my baby pink dress, with the flared skirt and the white coat on top of it. ‘Thank you.’

He holds out his hand for me to take and together we walk through the hallways to the elevator, that leads us to his beloved car. And even when we got in, he holds my hand tightly in his. For a moment, nothing seems to have changed. It’s how we always were.

Pre Barbados. Pre jacuzzi. Pre Airplane.

‘Where are you taking me?’

He chuckles. ‘Some place special.’

‘Damn it, Henry,’ I chuckle. ‘Give me at least a hint.’

‘Nope,’ he says. It seems like he is in an awfully good mood and that actually makes me feel pretty happy and relieved. It’s hard to see the damage his dad has left after the short meeting and how our incident in Barbados seemed to get to his head. Thankfully he feels better, which automatically makes me feel better.

‘How is the book going, darling?’

‘Good, good. I’m nearing the finish. It really helped I thought about this book for so long, that everything I had in my mind for years, just poured out.’

‘Sounds good. Can you finally tell me what it’s about?’

‘I can,’ I chuckle. ‘It’s about a teenage girl, who finds a dead body identical to hers in the woods.’

He squeezes my hand. ‘That’s quite gruesome.’

‘What did you think I was writing?’ I ask him.

He simply shrugs. ‘I don’t know. Something romantic.’

‘Oh, but there is romance in it,’ I say with a chuckle. ‘I’m sorry, but I have morbid interests. You know what you and I should watch? Those true crime shows on Netflix.’ Then I realize that there is a big change he doesn’t even like that, since you know… His family history. ‘But maybe not, I mean… You might not like it. That’s okay.’

‘Sweetheart,’ he says, ‘don’t you worry about that, okay? I like true crime, I like thrillers and mysteries to read.’

‘But, doesn’t that bring you back to your own past?’

He shakes his head. ‘I can separate those things,’ he says. He stops in front of the red light and looks to the side. ‘Don’t frown,’ he tells me.

‘I’m not frowning,’ I say, massaging in between my eyebrows. I was totally frowning. ‘You’re not mad?’

‘Darling, you have to stop thinking I’m mad at you. I’m not mad at you and probably never will be.’

It’s the certainty in his voice that surprises me. He honestly thinks he’ll never be mad at me?

That’s weird.

‘Come on, there must be something that I could do that would make you furious.’

He thinks about it for a second, but shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘I don’t get that easily mad. Especially not when you’re involved.’

Gosh, you’re making it really hard to get over you, Henry Cavill. Damn it.

‘If I burned down Midnight?’

Henry chuckles. ‘You probably would have a good reason to do so.’

He is too damn perfect.

We walk into a restaurant and the waiter brings us to yet another elevator. I have no clue what the hell is happening, but I simply trust Henry. The doors slide open and we’re…

On the rooftop? I let go of Henry’s hand and step out of the elevator. It’s better decorated than Gino’s rooftop, more yellow and more lights. It also has terrace heaters and in the middle of the roof are tons of cushions and blankets for us to sit on. ‘Did you do this?’ I ask him.

‘I sure did, he says, placing his hand on my side. ‘Figured you would like that. Especially since we’re celebrating the first day of Spring.’

‘I absolutely love it, Henry.’ I wrap my arms around his waist. ‘Thank you so much.’ I kick off my heels and drop on the cushions. ‘The sky is so beautiful.’

He takes place next to me and I melt against his frame. ‘I’m sorry for everything,’ he says.

While I think it is not necessary for him to apologize, I do appreciate it. I turn to my side, placing my leg over his. ‘It’s okay,’ I say. ‘It’s good to know the boundaries.’

‘I don’t want to hurt your feelings,’ he says.

Yeah, well, you did hurt my feelings. ‘You didn’t,’ I say with a smile. ‘Don’t you worry about it, okay? We talked about it and it’s all behind us now. We’ll just… Continue like we did before Barbados, okay?’

He nods. ‘Okay.’

[bxngchxn]

friends don’t || h.jisung

This is a re-upload from my old blog, @ethereal-bang ! I’ll be uploading most if not all of my old works every once in awhile. Hope you like it!

Characters: Jisung x female reader

Word Count: 2.4k

Type: Friends to Lovers, fluff, smut, college!jisung

Warnings: unprotected sex (always use a condom!), oral (female receiving)

This is intended for mature audiences. Do not read if you are under the age of 18.

Y/N: hey sungie i have to make a run to the grocery store, do you want to go with me?

Jisung: well i was supposed to meet up with Changbin

Y/N: oh, okay, that’s fine then

Jisung: you didn’t let me finish

Jisung: he can wait, did you want me to head over now?

Y/N: yeah, that’s fine. I’ll see you soon!

Jisung: be there in 10 :)

You put your phone into your pocket and smile. One of your favorite things to do was run errands with Jisung. Whether they were yours or his, just spending quality time with your best friend was the way you relaxed. You’d been doing this ever since the two of you moved to off campus apartments your second year of college. What started as him going grocery shopping with you because you needed someone to carry in the heavy essentials, turned into something you did at least once every two weeks. The ride to the store is always short but filled with laughs and conversation.

Jisung’s presence, to put it as simply as possible, puts you at peace. No matter what is happening around the two of you, the feeling of being near him gives you the feeling of just waking up; still sleepy, but like the comfortable feeling that settles in your chest when you’re finally coherent enough to feel the softness of your bed.

It’s always been like this, ever since the two of you met. Shy smiles exchanged in lecture turned into study sessions in the library, and before you knew it, you were thrown into a new group of friends with the surprisingly noisy boy from your chem class. Always down for a crazy adventure, Jisung had pushed you to try things you normally wouldn’t, and you were grateful for all of the experiences.

You came to notice, though, that there was something bubbling in your chest every time Jisung would get a little too close at a party, the two of you a little drunk. Like that one time, the two of you giggling at an absolutely hammered Seungmin who is trying to beat someone at a b-boying competition in a bar somewhere downtown. The smell of his cologne and the heat of his body so close to you that you lose all track of thought. When a hand on your waist that leads you through a crowded room, just making sure he doesn’t lose you sends fireworks up your chest.

You know that this is something that just friends don’t do, something that just friends don’t feel. The scary part was that you weren’t sure if you were just imagining things, or if there was actually something there.

Jisung insists on riding in the cart while you push it through the store, and though you complain about how heavy he is, you do it with a smile on your face the entire time. You opt for piling your groceries on top of him instead, hoping that the weight of the bag of apples you put on his stomach urges him to get out of the cart and actually help you.

And eventually he does, after some complaining that you buy too many heavy things. Jisung helps you carry all of it regardless.

Jisung is absolutely whipped for you. Pretty much anyone can see it, and when he first gets teased about it by Seungmin, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Thinks that, you know, everyone spends as much time as they can with their best friend. It’s normal for the two of you to plan future vacations, future holidays together, right? Right?

It hits him late one night that maybe his feelings are more complex than he thought. You had called him, at 2 in the morning, unable to fall asleep. “I just wanted to say hi, and hear your voice I guess,” you tell him, and his heart melts. Your voice is soft, and sounds like you really could fall asleep any second. It makes Jisung smile, and while he’s talking about how his day is going, and the songs he’s been working on with Chan and Changbin, he can hear your breathing even out on the other end.

Quietly saying your name, he confirms that you’re asleep when you don’t answer him. He feels that familiar feeling creep up, the one he gets when he’s always with you, and thinks to himself: Is this what being in love with someone feels like? The feeling is so soft and familiar that he really hadn’t realized it all those times before. Maybe the guys were right, and you two definitely weren’t just friends. Or at least that was what he wanted to believe.

Everything comes to a stop when the two of you attend a house party together. The music is loud and fast, and Jisung can’t help but let his eyes roam over your body as you dance with a girl from your history class. The smile on your face is the brightest he’s ever seen, and it makes him feel a little dizzy, more than the small amount of alcohol he’s had tonight ever could. When the song changes, and the beat turns sensual, Jisung decides that he’s had enough of beating around the bush. He was going to tell you just how he felt about you, and he’s praying that it’s reciprocated.

Jisung walks up to you, cool and confident with his red solo cup in his hand. You look up at him, and blush when his hand lands on your waist. “My turn for a dance.” he says, and you oblige. To your surprise, Jisung turns you around and his grip on you tightens.

“Jisung, what are you doing?” you giggle when he leans down to answer you, his breath tickling the skin below your ear. “What do you think I’m doing?” he asks. His hips start to move against yours, on beat with the music. The hand that’s holding his drink takes one of yours, resting it on the hand on your hip. He feels warm, and the feeling of him behind you makes you feel small in the best way possible.

His lips trail down to your neck, and you almost moan at the feeling. “You can’t tell me,” he begins, kissing your neck softly between every word spoken, “that you don’t feel whatever this is between us,”

He gets a little more confident when you turn to look at him, and in an instant his lips are on yours. It’s soft, but full of need. You don’t hesitate to kiss him back, fully turning around in his hold and letting your hands rest on his shoulders. You have to tiptoe a little too reach his lips, and the realization makes Jisung laugh.

When you pull away, you look at him. Lips swollen, hair a little messed up at the nape where you decided to thread your fingers through it. You felt fireworks go off when you looked into his eyes. You were right, the two of you definitely weren’t just friends.

“Let’s head home, yeah?” you ask him, and you’ve never seen him move so fast. Taking your hand, he leads you through the crowd. You say your goodbyes to whoever you can find, most of the guys off somewhere in the party. The two of you miss the look Seungmin gives to Jeongin at the sight of your hands intertwined, and Jeongin groans as he pulls $5 out of his wallet.

_____________________________

By the time Jisung leads you into your own apartment, the excitement has built up so much that you feel like you could burst. Pushing you up against the door once inside, Jisung can’t keep his hands off of you. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hold you like this..” He says as he presses another hot kiss to your lips. You make a move to lift his shirt, and he lets you. You’ve seen Jisung shirtless a hundred times, but looking at him like this, you were absolutely sure that there was nowhere you wanted to be more right now, than underneath him.

You’re surprised at your own boldness as you push him towards the direction of your bedroom. He gets the hint and grabs your thighs. “Jump,” he says, and you comply. He lifts you up and carries you through the apartment, hands roaming your thighs and your ass as he tries to navigate the apartment with your lips on his neck.

Setting you on the bed softly, Jisung is immediately on top of you. His hands are all over you, trying to get you out of your clothes as fast as possible. Once your shirt is off and your skirt is pushed up, he fumbles with the zipper in the back and groans when notices the matching lavender set you’re wearing. Purple was never his favorite color until this exact moment.

The feeling of his hands on you, warm and safe and protective, sets a fire in you that had been long overdue. You arch your back when his hands move to your breasts, fingers roaming over the fabric and looking up at you for approval. You nod your head and he takes the piece of clothing off. His lips attach to your nipple and you have to hold in a whimper at the sensation.

“You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, I swear on my life,” he mutters, and your cheeks blush at such a soft compliment in such an intimate setting. Your mind is already going hazy, the soft touches he’s giving you are good but nowhere near enough.

“Jisung please..please touch me,” you ask. He looks you in the eyes and grins, slowly making his way down your body. “I thought you would never ask,” he says as he licks a long line up your slit. Your hands fly to his hair, feeling the soft tresses in your fingers as he takes you somewhere you’ve never been before. “God, Jisung s-so good,” you say in between moans. It spurs him on, enough to insert a finger into your core. The added friction makes the knot in your stomach tighten, and before you know it, you’re desperately begging Jisung to make you cum.

He adds another finger and his lips find your clit, sucking on it as if his life depended on it. His fingers hit a spot inside of you that makes your vision go white, and the only thing you can think to say is his name as your first orgasm rushes over you. Once he’s made sure that you’ve ridden out your high, he takes his fingers out and puts them in his own mouth, licking them clean.

Jisung comes back up and kisses you harshly, full of passion and lust. You can taste yourself on his tongue, and the sensation makes you moan into his mouth. You pull on the belt of his jeans, realizing he hasn’t taken them off yet.

Pushing him onto the bed, you climb on top of him and help him with his jeans. The sight of you on top of Jisung has him unbelievably hard, and he’s sure he’s in heaven when your hands make contact with his cock. Putting your hands on his chest, you watch as Jisung helps you align his cock with your entrance. You sink down on him slowly, the both of you moaning out loud at the feeling. He stretched you in just the right ways, and you can’t help but think that this is the way it’s always supposed to be. The two of you, together.

“Fuck, I love you,” you say without thinking, and Jisung pauses. The look in his eyes is definite: Absolutely sure and absolutely in love. He pulls you down and holds you close as he begins to move inside of you. His lips find your neck, whispering sweet nothings against you as his pace begins to pick up.

Before you know it, Jisung is fucking up into you at a wild pace, a clear contrast to the praises he’s saying in his ear. “Fuck, you feel so good around me baby.. You were made for me. I love you so much.” He says, and that’s enough to feel the coil tighten in you for the second time. You push your lips against his, effectively swallowing every noise you make as you reach your high. Jisung is moving even faster, if possible, and the grip he has on your waist is so strong you’re sure it’s going to leave bruises in the morning. The only thing you can think of is the way Jisung is saying your name, desperate and wanton.

The sensitivity from your second orgasm has you clenching around Jisung, and that’s when he loses it. One hand moves to the back of your head, fingers tangling in your hair as he pulls you into a kiss filled with every emotion he ever needed to feel. You feel him fill you up and sigh, warm and content.

The two of you stay there for a moment; relishing in the way you feel wrapped around each other. You roll off of Jisung to lay beside him on the bed, and his arm wraps around your waist, not wanting to be away from you for even a moment. You giggle at how messy his hair looks and take a piece of it between your fingers.

“You know, I meant every word I said to you,” he says softly as he looks into your eyes. “I know you did. And I love you. I love you so much, Han Jisung,” you say. He sighs almost in relief, and he can confirm that this moment, right here, is the happiest that he’s ever felt. After years of all the unspoken words, ghosting touches and what ifs, you were finally his. “I love you too. More than anything.” he says as he pulls you close.

Jisung’s presence, to put it as simply as possible, puts you at peace. No matter what is happening around the two of you, the feeling of being near him gives you the feeling of just waking up; still sleepy, but like the comfortable feeling that settles in your chest when you’re finally coherent enough to feel the softness of your bed. And that next morning, when you do wake up and see Jisung laying next to you, the feeling is magnified by tens of thousands. The way the sun is catching on his face makes him glow, and when he pulls you into him with the promise of “5 more minutes,” you don’t refuse.

[seoracle]

DRIVERS LICENSE; i

Pairing: Bang Chan x Idol! Gender Neutral Reader

Genre: Fake Dating! AU, Angst, Lovers to Enemies(?), Occasional Pining, Comedy, S for potential smut(??)

Summary: Y/N has become an overnight sensation with ‘Drivers License’, Breaking records left and right...But what if the press gets wind of the ill-matched lovers and their company decide it’s the perfect attention ploy?

Word Count: 3.2K

Warnings: Swearing (a lot near the end), Drinking mention

A/N: this was meant to be a drabble... now it’s becoming a series...i’m sorry

“...and the winner of Inkigayo today is...Y/N with ‘Drivers License, Congratulations!”

You step towards the center of the stage and take the trophy and bouquet from a rookie idol, who flashes a bright smile at you, but you can see the envy in his eyes. You once had that same hunger and ambition that he seems to reek of, it’s a reminder of how far you’ve come.

Taking the mic, you begin to sing a more sultry and edgier vibe than usual, which seems to gather more screams from fans than usual. You remember what Seulgi taught you and gaze at the camera lens with a subtle pout, trying to capture the angst of the song in your gaze.

It feels ridiculous, feigning emotions you no longer feel, singing a song you begged the company not to put out in a corset fitted shirt that’ll leave your ribs sore and reddened. It’s pathetic and cliche, you quite literally sold your soul (well, heart) for fame. 

“Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street…”

Everyone behind you waves at the camera, signalling the show is ending. You leave last, taking several confetti bits for your scrapbook, which is the only thing keeping you from remembering this is all real. 

Backstage, Iris and San are waiting in your dressing room, they greet you with proud grins and slaps on the back. 

“Well, if it isn’t miss twelve...no, thirteen wins in two weeks.” San praises, enveloping you in a hug.

“Could be thirteen by tomorrow~” Hums Iris in a sing-song tone.

A groan leaves your lips, while slumping into an uncomfortable chair. You tune out their excited plans for your makeup and hair tomorrow, San says something about an end of year Award show.

All you want is to go home to your empty dormitory and sleep.

When you finally arrive to the ‘comfort’ of your ‘studio apartment’ (box room), it isn’t long before you strip down to your pyjamas and aggressively rub off the layers of makeup that seem to cling to every pore and fine line of your face. The cold air from the fan soothes the aching of your body from your strict workout routine. You stay awake until 4am, reading comments from netizens and replying to fans on your fancafe, it  was hard not to become obsessed with checking what people thought; whether they loved or loathed you.

[+184 -93] Y/N is talented, but they look devoid of emotion since last week...maybe singing a song so personal isn’t a good idea….what if the person it’s about hears it…..

User FYL**8 was right, it had become draining trying to convey emotions you’d long let go of. Your debut song was fresh and fun, it didn’t garner much attention but at least you hadn’t had to fake emotions and relive your first heartbreak.

Although the memories of the breakup didn’t hurt as much, the happiest ones were the most painful. The feeling of ignorance, thinking he meant forever and believing him completely...it was all so distant yet felt a fingertip away.

That night you slept with a heavy heart, remembering what it felt like when he’d hold you close and right and kiss you on the head to soothe your worries. Why did it have to end? Why like that? You try to drift into a nice sleep after another exhausting day but to no avail, thoughts of him are flooding every thought. Has he heard it? There was no way he hadn’t, he loved to check out every ranking song for inspiration or for another artist to add to his monthly playlist. 

Would he get angry? Sad? Laugh at your pathetic feelings? He was right in the end, when it came down to it you only shared your feelings when it was too late.

Stupid Christopher fucking Bang.

It wasn’t often you’d refer to him as Chan, you had met him when he only saw it as another name for himself that he hardly used. Back when his hair had been fluffed up curls that he couldn’t contain and his light freckles weren’t covered by BB Cream. When he didn’t belong to the world and only loved you.

After months of forcing yourself not to, you hastily search “Stray kids Bang Chan + Y/N”, Then “Stray Kids Y/N” and finally “Skz Y/N”. The results are minimal and far inbetween, mostly tweets from fans wishing for a collab and oddly enough one person making edited photos of you and them, which are so convincing you have to remind yourself you hadn’t met them.

Thoughts drift to his friends, the ones who didn’t know Chris was even seeing someone and had been for over a year. They tried to sugarcoat it, say they forgot, it’s hard to keep track when you’re training and all that. 

The sinking feeling you felt when Minho asked how long you’d been together, guessing a month at most. When you did reply, ears burning with embarrassment he coughed and muttered “Oh.’, That had stung.

Everything had seemed so perfect, until you opened your eyes and saw it for what it was.

You don’t end up sleeping much, two hours at most, Then it’s time to get ready and head to the Broadcast Studio for today’s event. All you know is it’s a show about giving advice, the reviews aren’t great but you aren’t allowed to turn anything down because fame is a double-edged sword that you can barely grasp as is.

Iris and San are already waiting for you when you get there, within minutes makeup is being patted into your skin and your outfit is laid out on the chair next to you.

“Sleep more, Y/N-ah, I had to use a double coverage concealer to hide your dark circles.” Iris said in a fretful tone.

“I try, it’s hard being famous.” You reply jokingly, flipping your hair the best you can. Iris smacks your hand away and frantically finds her hairspray.

Within twenty minutes you’re dressed and not one hair is out of place, San pulls you aside with an uncharacteristically stern face. 

“The company have specific goals for sending you here, they want you to delve into a story of heartbreak to comfort today’s victim, while keeping anonymity and remaining as vague as you can.” 

Of course, even a show about helping others is fictional.

You nod solemnly and prepare to go on air, sitting on a cushion next to a popular comedian who doesn’t bother to even look at you. A well-known Streamer is on your other side and you begin polite small talk, which seems to irritate the host.

“We’re on in 3,2….1!” A sharp click follows the director’s queue and the host bursts right into the introduction.

After you’re introduced it’s easy to tune out, you couldn’t give a shit about that stuck-up comedian and the actress to their right. Instead you think of how the fuck you’re supposed to conjure up an emotional performance with little to no time to prepare.

‘My ex-boyfriend hid me for almost two years’ no, not even worthy of a cheap gossip magazine. ‘I thought my boyfriend loved me, turns out he loved his career more’ Maybe...but you sound too needy. 

“Today’s guest is Lee Chaeun of Suwon! Tell us your story, please.” 

You turn to look at the guest who walks onto the set and sits at the head of the pillow mats. She’s clearly a young girl, her baby face is covered by face-framing layers of shiny black hair and her eyes are already glassy.

“Last year, I began dating my crush after years of admiring him from afar...Everything seemed so perfect until last week….He dumped me by text message saying he needed space and now he’s with someone new..” Chaeun bursts into tears and the host fakes a sympathetic face and passes her a box of tissues.

“Ah, you’re young...you don’t know anything yet. This is a normal phase for teenagers, men realise themselves and break girls down so they become beautiful women. It’s just a case of a little girl not wanting to grow up!” Chimes in the Comedian, who talks about his falsities as if they’re facts.

The audience erupts into laughter and the heartbroken teenager lowers her head in embarrassment. Which only makes you more enraged, Who told that guy he was funny?

“Chaeun has every right to be upset!” You exclaim, cutting through the laugher like a hot knife. “When a relationship ends when everything seems alright for one person, it's cruel. Being blindsided isn’t a joke. It hurts and she deserves closure, and to move on someday to a better person..What happened to her shouldn’t happen to anyone!”  You barely register a gentle hand on top of yours, far too surprised by the fact there are tears dripping down your face. Crying wasn’t an option, so you pull yourself together and apologise to Chaeun and the host you cannot stand.

“Y/N, You seemed personally moved by Chaeun’s story, have you experienced a painful breakup?” The host asks curiously.

“You could say that,” You begin with a wry smile. “I was with someone who lived a double life, they were completely different when they were with other people...Things ended when I was still planning for future dates...it made me realise how fake they were.”

The guests all nod and you squeeze Chaeun’s hand, she smiles at you seeming relieved that she isn’t the only one who has felt this kind of pain. 

Everything goes smoothly after that, other guests chime in and the actress that seemed snobby is openly discussing her ex vomiting all over her Valentinos. You can’t help but wonder if the company really suggested this, or if it was divine intervention (Choi San, your manager). 

You don’t feel so alone anymore, everyone is guaranteed several things, two being love and heartbreak of some kind. 

“Thanks to singer Y/N and actress Sojung, Chaeun was able to feel a little better...Thank you for joining us on ‘Help No Counsellor!’, Join us next week when…’

“Choi San, you sneaky bastard.”

He tries to act surprised but a shit-eating grin soon overtakes his acting, Iris shakes her head and zips her makeup bag closed. It isn’t long until you’re all at The Min’s enjoying red bean bread and warm tea.  “What does inept even mean? I’m assuming it’s a good thing because Wooyoung kissed me after saying it.” San mentions, his lips curving upwards at the fond memory.

“I’d have to agree with Woo, it fits you perfectly.” You reply, circling around his question while Iris tries not to choke on her food.

Fits of laughter die down when you spot a familiar face, Lee Mijoo. 

Her blonde hair flows down her back in loose curls and her soft eyes seem to enchant everyone, admittedly even you for a short time.Behind her is a slightly taller figure dressed in all black and your stomach drops.They don’t seem to notice your presence, so you decide to use this valuable time to hide behind a menu. 

San and Iris try to play along best they can, but it is quite distressing that all of this has happened so suddenly, with no prior warning. But he did bring you here, a lot. So it’s amusing to see his date ideas haven't changed. 

As he’s walking past you he pauses, and you want to shrivel into a hole and die, He’s clearly recognised you but can’t be 100% sure due to The Min’s menu covering your entire face. 

“Y/N?” 

Shit. You cannot hide from this.

Slowly taking the menu away and placing it down on the table you smile at him, maybe a little too forced but it’s the best you can do. His hair is blonde now, his curls are long gone but his smile is as genuine as ever. 

Stupid Christopher Bang and his stupid ‘I-totally-didn’t-break-your-heart’ attitude.

“Chan, nice to see you. Still obsessed with their double shots?” You humoured, he seemed grateful for that.

“Oh, absolutely...and I see you’re still not saving any bean bread for anyone else.” 

You laugh, it’s a bittersweet one at best but nevertheless it’s a laugh.

'Well it’s great to see you again, I’d love to exchange numbers if that’s alright?” 

Without thinking you nod and oblige him, much to your friend’s disappointment which is evident by their glares. Mijoo exchanges smiles with everyone, who could hate her? She was funny, kind hearted and beautiful in every aspect. 

When they finally leave to their outside seats you breathe a sigh of relief and sink into the chair.Iris strokes your hair and San grabs more snacks to go, the walk home isn’t peaceful. It’s awkward and silent, which only makes your head spin more. When you drop off Iris you know a lecture is coming, San hates doing it but you know he tells you what you need to hear, even if it hurts.

“Look, I’m happy you were able to brush off all the hurt today but earlier on you were crying about….this. Don’t give him the power to hurt you twice.”

“You’re right, thanks Sannie.” You reply, taking his arm and smiling at the warmth of his (Wooyoung’s) fuzzy coat. 

Once San leaves and you get inside, it’s a matter of minutes before you hop in the shower and get rid of all the hairspray and mascara that’s been making you itch all day. The warm water soothes away your nerves and the impending frostbite from being outside in the cold for far too long. 

Once you feel clean and somewhat scalded you step out onto warm fluffy towels (cheap warm fluffy towels with holes in them) and get situated for bed.

Just as you exit the bathroom your phone rings and you answer immediately, it’s probably Iris wanting you to play a new Among Us mod with her. 

“Iris?”

“Uh, no, Chris.” 

“Oh.” is your initial reply, why would he call you at midnight?

“Where you asleep? I’m sorry I’ll call back another ti-”

“No!” You interject, much too eagerly. “No...it’s fine. I’m not even in bed yet.”

“Oh” He sounds relieved, much the opposite of you.

“I just wanted to congratulate you...The song, it’s great. What’s it like actually singing one you wrote?”

“Great,” You admit with a smile he can't see, “It feels...genuine. I Couldn't stand the thought of giving the song away.”

“I can see why.” He replies in an unreadable tone.

“Did it make you uncomfortable? Me singing...about-”

“No, why would it?” He cuts in, he sounds slightly agitated.

“Look, Chan, I’m sorry. I should’ve texted you, well I did but you changed your number. But it’s my story too, okay? I needed to heal somehow.”

Minutes pass with no answer, as if he’s trying to think of exactly what to say without getting more irritated or to spare your feelings.

“When did I become Chan?” His voice comes out wavering,and it hurts you.

“That’s what everyone calls you now, you’re not just Chris the trainee anymore.” You reply in a gentle way, trying to ease the building tension.

“But to you, when did I stop being Chris?”

“Probably when you broke my heart,” You deadpan, before adding a ‘kidding’ and bullshit reason.

“You weren’t kidding, but you broke mine too. Don’t make me the bad guy.”

This had taken you aback, you had been in a perfectly happy relationship for almost two years and then he changed his mind, said he wasn’t happy and it wasn’t your fault. When the fuck did you break his heart?

“When exactly did that happen?” You query, “Before or after Mijoo?”

Chan lets out a dry laugh, “Don’t talk about what you don’t understand.”

“Well what does it matter? You never told me shit anyways.” You snapped.

“That’s because you wouldn’t fucking listen. Maybe to you it was all sunshine and roses but I was struggling, I changed and outgrew us. I didn’t want to but you were stuck in dreamland where we’d debut at the same time and live happily ever after. I realised it wasn’t going to happen and set you free so you wouldn’t be embarrassed.”

“Embarrassed?” You bark,”Fucking embarrassed of what exaclty? I left that shithole you call your company by choice and worked my way up. I’m not embarrassed, but you should be. You’re a fucking sellout Christopher Bang.”

Before he can reply you end the call and throw your phone at the wall, it would’ve broken only for the forty dollar case the store assistant convinced you to buy. You burst into tears just like you had that night when it all came crashing down. He must’ve loved seeing you in pain, because he keeps doing it even now.

That night, you wish for everything to go back to a time before him and the heartbreak that followed.

It’s early on a Friday when you’re called into a board meeting with the CEO, Director and San, who looks like someone stepped on his clay masterpiece. You still haven’t been told anything and as the minutes pass by you wonder if they found out about you getting drunk at Club Suran several weeks back. What if someone saw San there too? What if–

Suddenly the doors open and in walks JYP’s CEO, followed by several others and finally Chris. He looks as confused as you, but you quickly look away before he spots you. Last night was still fresh in your mind and you didn’t need anymore reminders or conversations with him.

“Dispatch has sent us several photos of you two together, spanning several years.” Your CEO announces, an Executive pulling the photos up on the screen behind her. “Including one from yesterday.”

“That was a coincidence, we broke up a long time ago.” You admit, she seems satisfied with your answer and nods, which makes you remember that damned dating ban you have.

“Usually, we’d shoot down these rumours immediately...but this could be quite beneficial to both Stray Kids and Y/N.” JYP’s CEO adds, “Stock prices have shown a rise for both of your albums, and real time searches are at an all time high.” 

“I have a girlfriend.” Chan states, arms folded. “So that’s out of the question if you’re implying we fake a relationship.”

“Look Bang Chan,” Begins one of the Advisors, “It’s all for show, we’ll plan every detail and your girlfriend will keep her mouth shut if she knows what's good for her. Frankly, our sales aren't what they used to be and you need this, if you want complete musical and artistic control.”

Chan takes a while to think, you know this is all he’s wanted. Control over everything he and the boys put out there, with no censorship or edits by anyone else. Your CEO assures you you’ll also benefit from the agreement, including your debt fully cleared and money in your bank account as soon as you sign on the dotted line.

“How long does this last?” You ask, pen in hand.

“Twelve months, then you’re free again.” 

Chan looks to you for conformation and you ignore him, signing it and standing up to leave. You only stop to sign more formalities and then you and San head back to your local coffee shop. 

“Well, you sure have a funny way of moving on.”