#still crying over this scene 8 years later!

[drrav3nb]

ANNA POPPLEWELL as Lola Fleming CRAIG PARKER as Stéphane Narcisse

When I shared my fondness for this particular situation, my plan was to seduce you, that was before I came to care for you as I do.

[thebeast-dennis-etcetera]

Boo

Prompt: You end up taking Jack and your daughter trick or treating while Aaron is stuck at work.

Note: I know this Halloween inspired prompt is a little belated but the amount of fluff is worth it. 🥰

“I want that one!” your daughter yelled, grabbing the bigger candy bucket from Jack’s hands. A frown appeared on his face but he seemingly held himself back from acting out. The little 8 year old had way more patience than you did at his age, clearly taking after Aaron’s constant calm and controlled demeanor.

“Hey,” you spoke, crouching down to her level. “Jackers is your brother and you need to be nice to him. We don’t yell and take things away from each other.” She looked back and forth from him to you, an expression of disapproval evident. “Why don’t you try asking him nicely if you can have the bigger bucket, ok?”

You and Jack waited as she stayed silent, clearly struggling with the idea to be polite. Finally, she turned to Jack and spoke. “Can I have Jack?”

He looked over at you and then to the smaller identical bucket by her feet. “Yeah, ok.”

You sighed in relief and gave them both a big smile. For a second, you thought there was gonna be a tantrum happening before you even got a chance to trick or treat but luckily Jack came to your rescue, being the bigger man.

“See, wasn’t that nicer than yelling at Jack?” She just nodded, avoiding eye contact, probably embarrassed that she was in the wrong. “Ok, now let’s go get some candy!”

Like a switch, they were both back to being happy and excited as they ran to the door. You grabbed both of their jackets that you knew they were gonna want later on as well as your little tumbler of wine. That was your treat for the night.

Before leaving the house, you came over to Jack and plopped a king sized Snickers bar in his bucket, giving him a wink and smile once he noticed. He pretended to zip his lips shut and throw away the key, making you laugh.

The first couple of house went smoothly, your daughter clutching onto Jack most of the time, not convinced with the suspicious looking decorations outside of some of the houses. You sent a picture of the two of them to Aaron, knowing he’d want to see how they were doing even if he couldn’t be there.

Aaron: They look adorable. How far have you gotten?

You: Still on our street, but making great headway. Jack is excited to get to Wicker street where he knows they give out the bigger candy.

Aaron: Smart boy. I see he let his sister have the bigger bucket.

You: Yeah, he handled it very well. Reminded me a lot of his father. (;

Aaron: Love to hear that. Gotta go but I love you.

You: Love you too.

You put your phone away just as you heard your daughter scream and watch as she made a beeline for you, leaving Jack in the dust. "Sweetheart, what's the matter?" you asked bending down. She looked absolutely terrified as tears began streaming down her face and the little tiara on her head struggled to stay attached. Instead of answering, she just pointed over to the porch that she had just ran from. You knew then what she was referring to when you saw the dog dressed as a big spider. It took everything in you not to laugh out loud.

"Oh honey, it's a just a doggy. He's dressed up for Halloween just like you." You brushed the hair out of her eyes while she continued crying, completely unconvinced that the dog was not a gigantic spider there to eat her and waited as Jack came back over. He inspected the scene before him, obviously aware of what happened and proceeded to pull a pack of gummy worms out from his bucket of goodies.

"Here. I got you worms," he offered, forcing the candy into her hand. Just like that, the crying stopped immediately as she played with the package, trying to figure out how to open it.

"That was so nice of your brother. Can you say thank you sweetie?"

"Thank you," she repeated. You gave Jack a ruffle on his head and pulled him in for a hug. He was literally the sweetest boy you knew.

"Alright, Jack. You want to lead the way to the next street?" He shook his head in excitement and wasted no time in showing you the way.

After walking up to the first house and receiving two big chocolate bars, he was practically racing to the next house for more.

"Not so fast Jack, stay close." you told him, scanning your surroundings, knowing anything could happen. Your daughter followed in step with you, busy gnawing on some gummy candy that you were sure was gonna end up keeping her up all night. Just before you all reached the next house, someone caught your eye. The tall figure was a bit far away but became increasingly clearer, the closer you got. Jack was the first to identify him.

"Daddy!"

You watched him run ahead and into the arms of your husband, who was still dressed in his work attire. In that moment, you were entirely grateful to the Bureau for their strict dress code. The dress pants, FBI windbreaker, and holstered weapon had you thinking all kinds of dirty scenarios in your head you'd like to play out with him but for the sake of your toddler children, you decided to indulge your fantasies later.

You and your daughter walked over, a gentle smile on your lips as he set Jack down to give her a hug. "Well this is a pleasant surprise." you greeted, giving him a kiss once he came back up.

“Case wrapped up sooner than expected. Figured the team could use an early night considering the occasion."

You pulled him in for another kiss, this time, a slightly longer and deeper, earning a curious hum from him. "What was that for?"

Absentmindedly, you played with his tie and looked up at his boyish expression. "I just really like your Halloween costume."

Being the ever observant special agent he was, it didn't take long for him to understand what you meant as a knowing smirk played on his lips. "I see."

"Daddy, up," your daughter demanded while pulling on his pant leg, interrupting the moment.

“Of course sweetheart.” He propped her up on his hip and gave you one last look before turning his attention to them. “Lead the way Batman,” Aaron spoke to Jack in his costume.

All of you followed after the young boy, it not taking long for both of their candy buckets to fill up and their sugar high to come crashing down. Your daughter had fallen asleep in Aaron’s arms on the walk back and Jack walked hand in hand with you, his pace a lot slower than earlier.

Once in the house, you helped Jack separate his candy while Aaron put your daughter down for bed. "The Twix are my favorite. Dad can have the pretzels and you can have the lollipops," he offered, pushing the less interesting candy towards you.

“Alright. I’ll keep all of your candy in a very secure safe place,” you reassured him, putting his little pile into a ziplock bag. “Why don’t you go get changed into your pj’s and brush your teeth.”

He listened without a fuss, a tired yawn making its way out of his mouth as he shuffled down the hall, passing by his dad who gave him a high five.

You watched him make his way over to you, a playful glint in his eye, his arms snaking their way around your waist before he placed a gentle kiss against your neck. "I thought I could run us a bath. Maybe give you a massage afterwards." His murmured words sent a shiver through you, your body reacting immediately. You turned to face him, your hands slowly pulling down on his jacket zipper, your eyes locked with his.

Leaning in, his lips met yours with a burning passion you loved. Like that was the last kiss he'd ever have. His hand cradled your head, fingers entwining in your hair and as he stepped closer, the faint smell of cologne from that morning still lingered on his clothes, overstimulating your senses. Your hands rested themselves on his torso, grabbing at the fabric, wanting nothing more than to rip it right off his body as his breath hitched, telling you he felt the same way.

"Daddy!" Jack called from down the hall, bringing the both of you back down to earth. He was probably waiting for his nightly bedtime story you made sure to give him, all cuddled up in his bed, surrounded by his numerous stuffies and dressed in his Batman pajamas.

You pulled away from Aaron, his eyes dark and filled with desire.

"Wait for me," he spoke lowly, stepping back from you before heading towards Jack's room, ready to give the shortest bedtime story ever.

[velvetydream]

꒰ :🥀 [ War is over? ] ”♡ᵎ꒱ˀˀ ↷ ⋯

❝ Request! ᵕ̈

Summary : The hotel was in shambles and a certain radio demon was missing from the group. Worried for him, you start your way down to the destroyed radio tower, scared of what might await you.

Pairing : Alastor x Doe! Gn! Reader

Word count : 2962 Words

Genre : Angst, Comfort

Warnings ➵ SPOILERS FOR EP 8!! Crazy Alastor, Out

of character? , Swearing, Blood

a/n : Thank you sm for this request! I love the idea and trope sm for Alastor! Also that scene- oh my, it was insane! I just love what a crazy and complexe chara he is!

Rly going into the crazy Al spectrum here, make him go crazy over almost dying saving his > friends <

Also added the reader being a doe! Hope that was okay! Despite it being a doe reader, I still only used gender neutral prounouns / only used > you < as for describing the reader!♡

Request by : @alastorsdarlingdoe

┌───────────────────────── ·  ·  ·  · ♡

Your eyes wander over the lights of Pentagram City down below, a breeze moves your hair, raising your hand to push a loose strand of hair behind your ear. Sighing, a hand runs over your forehead now, slightly pinching the bridge of your nose while leaning on the railing of the balcony. The music and chatter from inside could be heard, everyone was trying to enjoy this night before the battle, but you couldn't help but worry. Worried something might happen or that someone might die, even though you tried to push these thoughts to the far back of your mind, trying to be positive, trying to see the best, and telling yourself everyone will make it out alive and safe.

"Damn it.." Rubbing your fingers over your eyes softly, trying to remove the tears that were building up. Sniffing a few times, your foot taps the floor anxiously while your ears are slightly pressed back. Body noticeably tense and nervous. To many things going through your head, you loved everyone in this hotel so much, that if anything were to happen to someone you would be devastated. Especially if something were to happen to Alastor.

Alastor was one of the first sinners you got close to in hell after Rosie had introduced him to you years ago. By now you two were a darling little pair, as Rosie liked to call it. It did take a while for both of you to grow close and accept these feelings, but in the end, you did. Even though it was sometimes hard with an Overlord as your partner, he made sure you were safe and taken care of all the time, so you had nothing to worry about. You can still remember the day you met Alastor like it was yesterday. Sitting in Rosie's boutique, sipping on some tea, as she squealed in excitement before pulling the red-haired demon over. Of course you knew who he was before you even met him, no one goes through hell without hearing about the radio demon, who overthrew the old Overlords, sooner or later. Ears straight up and turned to his direction, your ears were slightly wide, visibly alert of the dominating and dangerous presence of Alastor. He though simply smiled at you, took your hand, and pressed a kiss to your knuckles, introducing himself to you. It was a beautiful memory. Not so beautiful was his disappearing for seven years, but you forgave him, which brought you to where you are right now, on the balcony of Charlie Morningstar's hotel. Worrying your head off over the ear against heaven and the exterminators.

"A penny for your thoughts darling?" Shrieking together at the voice behind you, you hadn't noticed Alastor joining you on the balcony, too deep in your thoughts. Quickly rubbing over your eyes, before turning to the man you love with a smile on your face. This caused suspicion to rise in him, were you crying? "Oh, Al! It's nothing important! Why aren't you with the others." Watching him slowly approach you, he softly places his hand on your cheek, watching you close your eyes and nuzzle into the palm of his hand. Alastor could see right through you and you knew that, he always knew when you lied, just like you did right now. "Oh my little doe, how can I be inside when my darling is outside here crying and overthinking all by yourself?" His voice was soft, it was only for your ears, he only used this tone with you. Opening your eyes again, gazing up at him with tearful eyes. He couldn't help but coe at this sight, his little doe darling looking at him all teary-eyed, though he preferred a different time for this sight.

"Now, now~ Why don't you tell me what's bothering this pretty little head of yours?" Wiping away the tears on your face and at your eyes with his fingers now, carefully to not accidentally cut you with his claws. Watching as your teeth sink down on your lip, another habit you had when nervous, making his finger trail softly over your lips, letting your teeth release the lip before you could bite it bloody. "It's just.. I'm.. Ugh.. Worried, what if something happens? What if someone dies? What if.. you die?" Tears were building up in your pretty eyes again, making Alastor chuckle slightly, not that you were crying, but that you were even thinking of him dying. He was the radio demon, no one would kill him, and no one would even get close to killing him. "Oh sweetheart, don't worry your little head over nonsense like this, nothing will happen to any of us and especially not me! Haha! Trust me dearest! Everything will be fine." Fingers softly swipe over your cheek, as he pulls your body closer to your face, leaning down slightly and planting a soft kiss to your forehead, before nuzzling his nose against your hair between your two flickering ears. Not being able to suppress new tears, your arms go around his waist, pressing your face into his chest. Alastor tensed for a second from your touch, but quickly melts into it himself, laying his arms around you, one hand softly playing with your hair.

He was right, everything would be all right, at least that's what you thought..

It was as if everything went by in a flash, the exterminators were flying down to the hotel, and everyone was doing their best while Alastor protected the group with a shield, to make sure no new angels could attack while the first ones were being taken care of. But that was quickly taken care of by Adam himself, breaking the shield which made your eyes grow wide, he was able to do that? This was not good at all. Doing your best to help the others, fighting back to back with Angel, shielding Husk from an attack with your spear, and pulling Charlie down from an attacker just in time.

This was truly hell. And it even got worse when Adam suddenly started targeting the rest of the group, where was Alastor? Looking around wildly you couldn't see him, Charlie speaking your exact thoughts that if Adam is here he must be... "WATCH OUT!" Husk smashes into you, pulling you to the ground to the side, where you stood seconds before now an angelic spear piercing the ground. "Get your shit together! That motherfucker isn't dead! So till this is over get your act together and make sure you're not the one dying, 'cause if you do that fucker will have my head for that!" Husk was shaking your shoulders violently, everything that was a blurry mess before slowly coming back to you. He was right, you need to survive this, if Husk said he wasn't dead, it must be true, he would probably feel it if Alastor died through his soul contract.

The fight continued on, after Sir Pentious brought his sacrifice, Charlie was facing Adam by herself, Vaggie was somewhere in the hotel with that one exterminator fighting, while the rest took care of the angels outside the hotel, keeping Charlie and Vaggie's backs clear. It was exhausting, you got a few injuries on your body too, but nothing too bad, the fight soon ended with Lucifer showing up to save his daughter and Niffty stabbing Adam herself.

After collecting your thoughts and hugging Charlie for a while, you started to look around. The hotel was completely destroyed, but with everyone around, there was new hope, with Lucifer leading the group and especially Charlie to not give up on this. Eyes wandering over the debris the hotel was now, over everyone around, keeping your eyes open for a certain demon. A thought pops into your head, making your way to the cliff, looking down, at the radio tower lying at the bottom of the cliff. Slowly and carefully to not trip, you make your way down, scared of what might or might not await you. Would he be there? Would he be hurt? Alive? Dead? Maybe he had gone again like those seven years ago, leaving everyone and everything behind.

Blood on the floor leading to the radio tower made your eyebrows raise, so someone or something for sure was here and injured. You just hoped it was Alastor and that he wasn't beyond getting stitched up.

Reaching the hatch to his radio tower, you notice it standing open. Reaching your arms out, you carefully pull yourself up and pull your knee up to enter the room. Looking up already while entering, you see Alastor standing at his desk, his back facing you, yet you could see the way his whole body was tense and clawing at the desk with his hands. Finally in the room, on your knees you slowly get up to stand, looking at the man you love worried.

"Alastor..?" His ears turn to you before his head snaps in your direction, making an uncomfortable cracking sound, his body turning to you fully now. His eyes looked like nothing before, blown wide, crazy, crazier than they had ever been. This wasn't Alastor, but the Radio Demon before you. "Darling.. You're hurt.." Looking down at his chest to the gushing wound, crimson red painting his already red clothes. Laughter echoes through the space now. "HURT?! AHAHA! You're funny dearest! I'm not hurt! I cannot be hurt, did you forget who I am?!" Blown red eyes were staring right back at your own wide eyes, your eyes wide out for different reasons than his. "I know darli-" He took a step towards you, making your ears stand alert, you didn't fear Alastor, yet the Radio Demon scared you right now. "OH DEAREST! What a fight that was! Me?! Great Alastor, altruist, dying for his friends?!" His ears were parted, flat to the sides, while his hands were slowly tearing at his hair, pacing in a circle now, before slamming his hands to the desk. Shadows dancing around the two of you in the red light. You didn't dare whisper another word, even your breath stocking in your lungs, not sure if you should even breathe right now.

Alastor was going crazy, the fact of him almost dying being seen as a hero fucked with his mind, did he care about dying? No, he couldn't care less, but being seen as a good person, a redeemed sinner, or a hero?! No.

"You know what?! Now! After all this, it made me hungry! Hungry for the freedom barely out of reach! Never have I felt this before, can you believe this?! I was.. AM! so close!" An insane monologue continuing, he talked as if he was rather talking to himself than to you, did he even register you being there fully yet? He was driven by adrenalin, by a close death. Raising your hand, you were about to reach out for him, trying to pull him out of whatever spiral he was caught inside right now. "I'm so close! These constraints must have a backdoor right?! This deal!" Fingers pulling at his locks again, your own hand stilling in the air, as you watch him pace around, his eyes darting everywhere, when looking at you, they looked through you, he did not even realize you were here.

His whole body was trembling by now, the smile was strained on his face, making you worried to the core. Never had you thought you would ever experience such a side of Alastor, it shocked you. Now that his monologue stopped, you took cautious steps toward your lover, your finger barely grazing his arm, his eyes now snapping to you, his ears following. He was looking at you finally, not over or through you, he realized you were there and that he wasn't alone. "You're fine Al, you didn't die, you proved it." You knew to get to him, you had to reassure him, even if it was probably a bad idea, but for now, this would probably be the only way to get to him. "You're right dearest.." His hands slowly lowered from his hair, a few hairs tangled in them from how hard he was pulling on his poor hair. Eyes trailing down to the wound on his chest now, feeling your own tighten at the sight of Alastor injured. This was something you didn't think was possible to happen till now.

"Let me take care of this.." Pulling him to the desk softly, you make him lean against it, as you push his coat off his shoulders and start to unbutton his dress shirt, laying them to the side carefully. Ears pressing to your head now as you take in the wound on his chest, you knew his eyes were following your every move, so you tried not to keep on that for too long. Gathering everything you would need to somewhat clean and stitch him up, the things you had would have to do. The air was thick when you got to clean his wound, Alastor was watching you with his smiling face, while your own was adorned with a frown. It scared you knowing he could've died if he didn't disappear mid-fight, he would be dead now if he continued. Those thoughts make your hands shake, your view getting blurry as tears fill your eyes. Looking up when his hand softly encloses around the one holding the needle. "My poor little doe, I'm sorry for worrying and scaring you." Lips press softly against the knuckles of your hand. Pulling yourself together, you quickly finish the stitches up, then you would have all the time to get emotional and cry. Helping Alastor put on his dress shirt now, he slumps down to the floor, his back leaning against the wall, he was probably exhausted. It would take a while for him to heal entirely and be the old himself again.

"Come here beloved." Alastor was holding his arms open for you, finding a place between his legs now, your head leaning on his shoulder, opposite of his injury, making sure you wouldn't touch the freshly stitched-up wound. "I'm sorry.. I was just so worried.." And before you knew it, the tears were streaming down your face, while Alastor softly held you in his safe embrace. "I know dearest, I know...But worry not, I'll be back to myself in no time, don't you worry." His hand was rubbing up and down your back, while his chin rested on the crown of your head. His words were true and you knew that, he would be his old self quicker than you would know, still, it scared you to know he wasn't unharmable and could die. Hiding your face in your hands now, your body violently shaking with sobs. "Now, now my darling doe, you know I hate to see you cry." Pulling your hands away from your face, he looks at you for a second, before your arms already go around his neck as you straddle his thighs now, body shaking with sobs while he feels your tears wetting his shirt. His eyes were slightly wide, a silent wince from his wound flashing through his eyes for a second, but he suppressed any sound for your sake. "There, there, it will be all right my little doe." One of his arms was going around your waist now, pulling you even closer to him, did his wound throb from you pressing against him? Yes, yet he couldn't seem to care. The other hand was moving its way into your hair, rubbing to bottom of your ears softly.

The two of you stayed like that for quite a while, the violent and loud sobs, soon subsiding to small whimpers before completely quieting down to soft tears silently running down your cheeks. Alastor shoulder was by now entirely wet from your tears, yet he couldn't care.

"Calmed down now, have been darling?" Feeling Alastor's lips press to your temple, you finally raise your face from his shoulder and look at him. Eye bloodshot from crying for so long, cheeks wet from all the tears and your throat sore from sobbing. "There is my beautiful doe, look at you, even after crying you're beautiful as ever dearest." Nuzzling against his hand that was now resting on your cheek, your eyes look up into his. Your eyes were something Alastor always loved, they looked so innocent and soft, something not often seen down here in hell. His eyes cast down to your lips for a brief second, you noticed and closed your eyes, inviting him. Feeling his soft lips on yours quickly, as his arm around your waist softly presses you against him, while the other hand still cradles your face. The kiss was soft, yet full of passion, it was all the feelings you two felt poured into one kiss. Which lasted longer than you thought. Pulling apart soon, puffs of air falling from both of your lips.

"I love you my beloved and I'm sorry for worrying you so much, but trust me, once this is over and I'll be able to roam free, watch me reach everything for us." Smiling at you, he softly rubs his thumb over your cheek before your head rests on his shoulder again, face in his neck. "I love you too Al.. I can't wait for you to be finally free again.." Pressing a soft kiss to his neck, giggling softly at him slightly tensing up from it before relaxing again.

You two took your sweet time together, was that what both of you needed right now, before eventually getting back and reuniting with the group. A new hotel and new goals waiting for everyone.

┌───────────────────────── ·  ·  ·  · ♡

Taglist :

@chewbrry @rinalouu @mysticwitchcraftco

[thisapplepielife]

Written for @steddieholidaydrabbles.

12/25/87

Prompt Day 8: Gift | Word Count: 613 | Rating: T | CW: Language | Tags: Post S4, Eddie Munson Lives, Older Steddie, Established Relationship, Reminiscing

It might have looked like it was wrapped by hands that were all thumbs, but at least it was covered, Eddie thinks, looking down at the photo in his hand. That was a long, long time ago. And he likes to think he's gotten at least a little bit better at wrapping gifts since this picture was taken.

He might be fooling himself, though. Steve wraps almost all the gifts they give these days, and there's definitely a reason for that.

He glances at the timestamp in the corner: 12/25/87.

Decades fly by faster than you'd ever expect them to, that's for damn sure. 

Eddie flips to the next one in the stack of photos, and it's just wrapping paper all over the floor from the same Christmas. They were just kids back then. Living in their first apartment, fresh out of Hawkins, probably working four or five jobs between them. They did that a lot in those early years. Passing ships in the night, barely seeing one another.

That usually meant their ends would always meet, though, even if barely at times, and they were together. Even if not exactly in the same room most of the time.

Eddie remembers how happy he was that he could afford to buy gifts for Steve that year, picked out with only a little help from Robin.

"Do you remember this Christmas?" Eddie asks, flashing the photo in Steve's direction. 

Steve pulls his reading glasses up from the chain around his neck. He smiles, "That's the year the heater went out."

Eddie had forgotten about that. Steve banging on the radiators, like he was CC Bloom. A few years later, when they finally watched Beaches at Robin's bequest, which still, fuck her for that, because it made him cry, but as soon as the clanging on the radiators scene happened, Steve looked right at him. A familiar scene thrust right to the forefront of their minds: Steve, wrench in hand, banging with gusto.

He didn't accomplish anything other than annoying the neighbors, but that's okay. It's a good memory, of years gone by. The heat might have never come on, but bundling up was a much more productive endeavor, anyway. 

That Christmas, with no heat to speak of, but presents under the tree, they'd been happy. The two of them, in layers upon layers of clothes, curled up together on that old broke down couch.

They were happy then, and they're happy now. 

They've seen relationships crumble, break, bend, and they've somehow kept on an even keel together. Growing at the same pace, in the same direction. It's luck. A miracle.

Eddie knows that this thing between them could have ended in a million different ways if things had only gone a little differently, here or there. He doesn't think they are destined, or fated. He doesn't think they are soulmates.

But those relationship-ending events never happened, because they worked together to make sure they never would. They wanted to stay together, so here they are.

And Eddie will always be grateful that it all worked out. He nearly died, bitten and bleeding, but he didn't. He was given the gift of more time.

Steve had that wreck ten years later, and the timeline could have diverged again right there. But it didn't. And they were ahead of the curve. They already knew how to recover in each other's presence, how to mend all the broken pieces into something so good that Eddie can hardly stand it at times.

It's been a gift.

The gift of a life together, a full happy existence, with Steve.

And it's the best gift he's ever gotten.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddieholidaydrabbles and follow along with the fun! 🎁

Notes: The Beaches soundtrack still slaps. I said what I said. I definitely wore out that cassette as a kid. It's right up there with the Dirty Dancing soundtrack for me.

[yinyuedijun]

since it is on the brain tonight. have one of my favourite (very very long) scenes of desire path backstory (happened in both versions of the fic, og and current)

(tw implied child abuse and incest)

background: you've just been adopted into the itoshi household and have had a really hard time opening up. sae hears you crying in your bedroom every night. here, he finally decides to try and help you. you're about 6 here, sae is 8.

___

Still, you had your bad nights. Progress has never been linear with you, not now and not back then. Sae recalls one midnight where you had a crying fit that disintegrated into a violent string of coughs, each one so powerful that it made him wince.

He wondered how the whole house wasn't awake, listening to your pain. Rin always slept like a rock—Sae could see him snoring away in the other bed, so it made sense that he wasn't bothered—but surely their parents were hearing this? But then he decided not to linger on it for too long.

It didn't matter since he was going to help you anyway.

He ended up knocking on your door with a glass of water. Almost immediately, all the shifting in your room stopped, almost like you were trying to silence yourself. But Sae could hear the coughs being torn violently from your throat, even though they now sounded strained and muffled.

"Hey," he called out softly. "It's me. Are you awake?"

Silence. Sae knew to give it a moment before he tried again.

"Can I come in?"

If it had been anyone other than you, you told Sae years later, your fingers running lazily through his hair, lifting the bangs out of his face, I wouldn't have said anything. I'd have pretended to be sleeping. But I let you in because it was you. You squeezed his hand, then, and your eyes were close—so close, heavy on his own and weighed down by the vulpine flick of your eyeliner, by the mascara sooty and thick on neatly curled lashes, by your childhood shadows. Your strawberry gloss shone next to his lips, and your heated and tender words kissed them: Do you understand what I'm saying, Nii-chan? If it had been anyone else, I wouldn't have been—

"...okay."

When Sae crept into your room, found an empty bed. You were hiding underneath it, curled up in the tiny space between the floor and the mattress, hugging the quilt he'd handed to you weeks ago. He crouched down, showed you the glass of water. Sae wasn't sure if the offering would be enough to draw you out from under the bed, but another coughing fit—this one strong enough to make you teary-eyed—had you crawling out. You mumbled a little thank you as you took the glass from him and drank.

"You haven't cried like that in a while," Sae commented, and you gave him a stricken look. After a long moment of unadultered panic in your eyes, he heard you string more than two words for the first time:

"...s-sorry. I'm really sorry." You were looking down at the floor, and it was like all the progress Sae had made over the past several weeks had gone up in smoke—you looked petrified, small, a cornered animal with nowhere to run. "I didn't know you could hear me."

"Don't apologize. I don't mind it."

"...you're not mad?"

Sae thought it was a funny question. "No. Who'd get mad at something like that?"

You didn't reply, just looking away, and Sae felt a little frustrated, then. He'd been working so hard to make you feel comfortable and thought he'd finally made some progress—but now he was seeing you regress in real time. Back into the fragile little thing that his parents had decided to adopt out of the blue, looking like you couldn't trust anything around you. Like you couldn't trust him. Sae couldn't help but think—

"You don't like it here, do you."

Even at that age, you had a distinctly doe-eyed look when you were confused, and he remembers staring at it.

"No," you said. "I do."

"Then how come you don't wanna talk to any of us?"

Maybe his voice was a little too harsh. Or a little too blunt. You flinched, your body retreating into the turquoise shell of your quilt.

"Sorry."

"That's—" Sae paused, chewing his lip. Tried to make his voice as gentle as possible, because he knew his usual tone would scare you. "...you don't need to be sorry. I'm not mad. I just wanna know what's been making you so upset. Like—how come you always cry at night?"

You got that nervous, uncertain look in your eye again, and Sae got the distinct feeling that you were wondering if this whole conversation was some kind of trick. He added, "I just wanna know how to cheer you up. I don't like seeing you so sad all the time."

You blinked, gave him a surprised look, but it was fleeting, quickly making way for another gloomy expression. "You don't need to worry about me… I don't think I'm going to stay here for very long."

Sae's brow furrowed. His mom had made it sound like you were going to be his little sister just like how Rin was his brother—that is, permanently. "Why not?"

The face you made was so miserable that it startled Sae. He hadn't had a lot of experience with sadness as a kid—most of what he'd witnessed revolved around soccer, when the opposing team lost, and Sae never felt very sorry for them. Sometimes Rin would throw tantrums or cry over silly things, but those were easy to handle. Sae supposed that the worst sadness he'd ever seen was in his mother, who tried her best to hide it—

—but not even her saddest expressions could compare to how shattered you looked in that moment.

"...your dad doesn't actually want me here, Sae-san."

Sae's brow creased. You have a new sister, he recalled. You need to take care of her, OK? It's your job as the eldest.

"That can't be right," Sae replied. "Dad said he wanted you to be part of this family. He even said I should look after you."

Instead of responding, you looked long and hard at Sae, and for the first time, he experienced the strange feeling of being dissected by you. He felt translucent and naked under your eyes—keen for such an innocent age, seeing everything in the dark.

"We have the same father, but different moms. You know that, right?" you asked quietly.

He hadn't.

"Your dad didn't like my mom very much, and that's why he didn't want me. He's only being forced to take me now 'cause my mom decided she didn't want me either." Your eyes started to shimmer, and you hid them in your blanket. "My stepdad and my brother also left 'cause they didn't want me. And I don't think your mom likes me very much, either. So"—you breathed in deep and whispered, and Sae felt like he was watching a vase tip over the edge, a sandcastle crumbling into dirt, his mother crying as she fumbled for her cigarettes when she thought no one was watching—"it's not gonna be very long 'til your parents throw me away too."

Sae went silent. If his heart ached for you when he first laid eyes on you, then it was being crushed right now. He didn't think very hard about it when he placed a hand over one of yours.

"They wouldn't do something like that," he said.

Your fingers twitched under his, like you wanted to pull away.

"They want to. I can tell."

You're just imagining things, Sae nearly replied, but then he remembered that he'd never once heard his parents come here at night to check on your crying, and then he went quiet.

"...it doesn't matter," he eventually decided. "I won't let them."

A little sniff. "No?"

"No. I'll make sure you stay with us."

You blinked the saltwater away from your lashes, then gave him a curious look. "Why?"

"Because I'm your brother, and it's my job to take care of you."

"Really?" you asked, voice watery.

His eyes softened, his usual impassivity crumbling for you.

"Really. I would never let anyone throw you away," he said, and the words felt so ugly in his mouth that he couldn't fathom how anyone had done that to you. How anyone could have done anything to you. You were so sweet, and so kind, and so vulnerable, and it left him feeling sick when he imagined you being hurt in any way. "I'll keep you safe. Promise."

Sae nearly jumped when he felt something move in his hand. He looked down, saw your little fingers prodding at his own, and he offered you his open palm. You took it readily, Sae found himself transfixed by the latticework of your entwined fingers.

"Thank you, Sae-san."

"It's nothing," he wrote off. His thumb rubbed the back of your hand, gentle in a way that his voice wasn't. "But I'm your brother now, remember? You should address me properly."

You smiled a little, studying your interlocked fingers, and Sae felt a peculiar warmth in his chest, an uptick in his pulse.

"Okay, Nii-chan."

Nii-chan. Sae's always loved hearing that title in your mouth. Not out of a demand for respect the way Rin obsesses over it, but because you've always seemed so happy to say it, the syllables sweetened by your adoring tongue. Okay, Nii-chan, you've always said. I'll listen to you, Nii-chan. I trust you, Nii-chan. I love you, Nii-chan. I love you, I love you, I love you.

So please don't leave us again.

Please don't throw me away.

[localplaguenurse]

Falling Head over Heels (Pantalone x Male Reader) pt 8

WE ARE FUCKING BACK! (I immediately started hacking my lungs after typing this, I'm sick :P)

To make a long story short, for the past few months I've either been really busy, really depressed, and usually both. Also for some reason chapter 8 was already hard to write and I don't know why.

ALSO before we get into the fic, @your-local-furby drew some absolutely lovely fanart of MC apologizing and seeing the library from the previous two chapters. I think it finally kicked my brain back into gear lmao.

Without further ado, please enjoy!

@thedeimoshimself @eli-chris

It feels like the ground beneath me is sucking me in.

I feel myself sinking,

I wish the ground would swallow me whole.

Embarrassment washes over me and swallows me whole. I feel the air leave my chest I want to break free but I feel like I’m drowning. 

You take the page you’re scribbling your notes on and crumple it into a ball. You’ve reread your rough draft and decided the arranged wedding scene you had planned wasn’t tragic enough. The blind musician is tasked with performing for the prince’s wedding, but his heartbreak causes him to mess up his performance, which causes everyone to notice he’s crying, including the prince. You’re trying to convey the feeling of knowing every single person in the room is watching you during the lowest point in your life, but it’s just not coming together in a way you like. You’ll run it by Alik later.

Technically, Alik is no longer your editor as a result of your deal with the Yae Publishing House. Still, they’re one of your few friends, and their workload has lightened since your previous publisher terminated all of those other book deals. Now they’re acting as your beta reader before you send off the next draft to the editor at the Yae Publishing House. It’s actually making progress go a lot faster, so much so you might only need one final draft of the whole story before it’s finally published, as opposed to multiple drafts. 

I do not need sight to know everyone in the room is looking at me. I feel it in my broken notes that trail into nothingness. I feel it in the resulting silence. I feel it in the quiet murmur spreading through the room.

I feel tears in my eyes as I drop my head down, praying no one sees me crying. If I could, I would sprint out of the room, out of the palace, so no one is witness to my heartbroken embarrassment. I’d run so fast, the prince would have no time to chase after me. It would be for the best anyways. He deserves his perfect and beautiful bride, and I am no bride, I cannot verify if I am beautiful, and in this moment, I could not feel anymore flawed as a person and human. 

A knock on your door breaks your concentration. You’re dreading whatever is on the other side, but know it’s better to get this over with. 

“Yes?”

The door opens, and your mother pokes her head in through the gap. She offers a smile. “We have company. Come say hi, please.”

“I’m… kind of in the middle of something,” you reply, “and I’ve told you that I’m going to see Alik when I’m done writing.”

“How is she, by the way?”

“They’re fine.”

“And Maria? How’s she?”

“She’s alright, I think. I haven’t seen her in a while.”

“Well, tell them both I say hello. Anyways, if you have a minute, I would like you to come downstairs. There’s someone I’d like you to talk to.”

It takes you a moment to recognize what this is, mostly because it’s been a while since she tried pulling this off. When you realize what’s happening, you just shake your head and look at your mother. “Which family friend is this?”

She gives you a very unconvincing look of confusion. “My dear, what do you mean?”

“Mother, please.”

“... Ana. Anastasia.”

Anastasia is your younger sister Adéla’s friend. Much like your sister, she’s only a year younger than you, but unlike your sister, she actually likes you. Adéla and you have butted heads throughout your lives, as siblings tend to do and especially with such a small age gap, but Adéla has taken it a step further saying that it’s your fault her childhood was so “miserable” as she puts it. She claims that your diagnosis made you the centre of your parents’ attention until your youngest sister was born, and then they focused more on her than Adéla. Conveniently, she’s never had any sisterly drama with her, only you. You feel for her, but there was only so much you could do at the time, seeing as you were eight years old.

“Absolutely not,” you tell your mother.

“But you two got along so well when she would visit,” your mother insists, “and she’s become a fine young lady since the two of you last spoke! Don’t you remember reading together when you two were little?”

“I’m sure she’s beautiful,” you say, “but Adéla will throw a fit if she finds out you set me up with one of her friends.”

“You don’t know that.”

“And I don’t want to find out,” you tell her, “and I told you I don’t like being set up on dates.”

Your mother lets out an exasperated sigh. “I’m just worried about you, okay? I want to make sure my son is happy, healthy, and I want him to find someone he can settle down with. Your brother was already married at your age, and Adéla’s going to be having another baby soon.”

“Yes, but I’m not Pavel or Adéla,” you say, “the dating scene is different for me, and playing matchmaker isn’t going to make me feel any better or help me.”

Your mother just looks at you. That sad, pitiful look you know all too well. It stopped pulling on your heartstrings long ago, but sometimes it’s just easier to indulge her than it is to fight her on it. Besides, she means well, you think, it just can’t be helped that she doesn’t know her son has no interest in women.

You sigh, and stand up, much to your mother’s delight. “I’ll say hi, and that’s it.”

She grins, and she motions for you to follow her.

----

“... and she just happens to be single, too.”

Alik sets their glass down. “Interesting. So when’s the wedding?”

“It’s not happening,” you reply, “thank the Tsaritsa for that.”

“I’m honestly surprised your parents haven’t put you in an arranged marriage yet,” Alik comments.

“How many viable marriage candidates do you think there are that would be thrilled to marry someone who’s not only going blind, but could pass it on to their children as well?”

“Depends on how much the family is getting paid.”

“And it would not be much.”

The tavern is surprisingly quiet tonight. You chalk it up to it being the middle of the work week, not as many patrons willing to get drunk if they have work early in the morning. Currently, you and Alik are sitting at a table in the corner of the room while a few older patrons mill about, chattering on about their own lives at the bar. It’s actually rather nice, you think.

“What would they try to sell your bride to be on?” Alik asks.

“Um…” You look into your half drunk glass, trying to think of something funny. You clear your throat, straighten your posture, and put on your best business smile. “Here’s a fine young man who has no real work skills, and it’s not like they would do him any good since he’s considered legally blind and has between thirteen and fifteen years before he is fully blind. His only profitable skill is writing, though he doesn’t make enough to support a household. His blindness is also genetic!”

“By the Archons, at least say one nice thing about yourself,” Alik teases, though there’s a subtle sincerity to their words.

“I think I’m decent,” you say, “I think I might even make an okay husband, but I don’t think I’d be the kind of husband Pavel or my father are.”

“That’s not a bad thing,” Alik replies, “there are plenty of families and couples where the husband isn’t always a provider. Besides, you’re not really a ladies man to begin with.”

You shake your head. “It’s not even that, it’s just… you know I try not to make a big deal of me going blind, but it’d be naïve of me to pretend that it’s not, and especially if I was in a relationship. Whether I like it or not, whoever I marry is going to inevitably become my caretaker. There will come a day where I’m going to need help, and I’ll rarely be able to return that favour.”

“That’s why it’s in sickness and in health,” Alik comments. They reach across the table and take your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “For what it’s worth, I think you’d make a good house husband, before and after you start seeing the world how Maria does.”

Maria is Alik’s cousin, and one of your few very close friends. She has been a big help to you in writing your book as her blindness is similar to the main character’s. While he was born blind, she actually had vision when she was born. Unfortunately, she suffered a very severe head injury when she was very young. She has little to no memory of her life before she lost her sight as a result, as well as having some developmental problems growing up. These days she’s doing much better, though her eyesight is still gone. At most, she can detect if there’s light, but that’s the extent of it. 

“Do you have permission to make jokes about her being blind?” you ask.

“I not only have permission, but that’s not even the worst joke I’ve gotten away with.”

“I don’t want to know.”

“For the best.”

Your table goes quiet as you and Alik take a moment to drink. You try not to cringe at the taste of whatever the hell Alik recommended you try. It’s a beer, and you can taste that, but it’s a lot more bitter than you like. Still, they bought it for you, it would be rude to spit it out.

“You don’t have to drink that, you know.”

“It’s an acquired taste, I’ll get used to it.”

You see a smile twitch onto Alik’s lips, and even if they try to hide it, you can see a shit eating grin from miles away. 

“Okay,” you say, “out with it.”

“What do you mean?”

“You thought of something terrible, I want to hear it.”

Alik glances around the room, assessing how audible their comment would be. You take a sip of your drink, and they grin.

They lean in. “I’m sure Pantalone would be happy to hear that.”

You immediately sputter, spraying Alik in the face. They yell, swiping at their face as if they were sprayed with acid. You cough as what was left in your mouth goes down the wrong pipe. “Fuck, w-why’d I take a drink–”

“Did you have to spit that in my face?” Alik asks.

“Shut up,” you wheeze out. You give one more hearty cough, your throat and chest burning, and you can breathe again. You sit up, rubbing your chest through your shirt while Alik wipes their face and the table with napkins. You look around, and see the few patrons staring at your table. You painfully chuckle, and turn back to your friend. “S-Sorry, I should know better by now.”

Alik shrugs. “I’m not wrong, am I?”

“I told you that in confidence,” you whisper.

“You actually told me before the tea party,” Alik tells you. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but it’s starting to show in your book.”

You feel your face flush, and you narrow your eyes. “I think I would know if I was writing about him, thank you.”

“The prince was a lot more arrogant in your first drafts,” Alik explains, “but in more recent iterations, it’s been toned down a lot. He’s also a lot more understanding of the musician’s blindness.”

You’re confused. “Well, yes. My first drafts are years old, so I’ve had to make some adjustments to better fit my writing style now. Besides, I’ve read too many stories about asshole love interests that don’t really learn anything, they just get tragic backstories that authors think justify their shitty behaviour. I’m not adding my characters to that pile.”

“No, I agree on that,” Alik says, “but even then, he was still a solid character, arrogance aside. He was just a spoiled prince who had to actually think about other people for the first time in his life. Like he’s never had to deal with someone with a disability, and doesn’t know how else to feel other than annoyed. In the more recent drafts, he still doesn’t know how to deal with it, but he’s a lot more willing to make up for the disrespect, where the old version did it, but complained the whole time. It just so happens that this change happened right when you met him for the first time.”

“That’s… hm.” You take a sip and don’t spit it in Alik’s face. “You’re on the right track, but I don’t think I was writing all of that because of a crush.” You feel your face flush warmer again. “He was a bit of an ass at the party, but since then he’s become one of…” You take a moment to count names on your finger. “... six or seven people that aren’t patronizing about me going blind. I’d just been putting up with most of my family either coddling me or being inconvenienced by me, but he’s a rare instance of someone making accommodations, but not making a big show of it. That’s why the book was like that until I met Pantalone.”

You stare into your glass. “And… a-and it’s why I enjoy his company so much…”

Alik doesn’t say anything. You look up, and you see their expression has softened a little bit. They lift their drink up to you, and you smile and lift yours up.

“Cheers.”

You both take a swig, and somehow the disgusting drink tastes sweeter going down. Your face feels warm, and you wonder why you’re still blushing when you see you’re already halfway through your drink. Alik has a similar glow in their cheeks. 

“That’s really sweet and cute,” Alik says, “but I do have to ask you something.”

You feel whatever warm feelings you’re feeling lessen when Alik’s softened expression gains a hint of concern. Their smile looks awkward by comparison, before they sigh and lose it altogether. You’re already dreading what they’re about to say.

They hesitate for a moment, and when they speak, it’s in a whisper. “Do you like him, or do you like what he’s done for you?”

“W-What?”

“I wouldn’t ask that if we were talking about anyone else,” Alik clarifies, “but I have to ask when it’s him. I don’t want to rain on your parade, I’m happy you like someone, but… he’s a harbinger. One of the more likeable ones, but not without flaws.”

“I know…”

Alik sighs. “Look, if it were some other handsome rich man, I’d say go for it. The fact it’s a harbinger specifically makes me a little worried, I won’t lie.”

You sound like my mother. “It’s a crush, not an engagement,” you tell them. “We enjoy each other’s company while he works with my father and sister. I just enjoy it differently than he does.”

“Still, even as friends, I’d be cautious. If not for what he’d have planned, then for what others might have in store for him.”

You take a swig. “You want to know what’s funny? You’re the first person to bring up his enemies as a point for why I shouldn’t get near him.”

“I am not.”

“No, seriously. My mother doesn’t want me near him because he’ll probably, I don’t know, kill me or sell me or steal my ideas, depends on the day. My father thinks I’ll ruin everything those two have built together, which I still don’t know why Pantalone is working with him.”

“Maybe your dad’s indebted to him or something.”

“...”

Alik notices your silence. They say your name in a soft voice, seeming worried by your expression. Your father’s not in debt, is he? The business isn’t as prosperous as it was when you were little, but job markets change all the time, and the economy is ever fluctuating. It’s purely the result of what happens when a business runs for as long as it does. Sometimes an empire doesn’t crumble, but rather dies slowly.

“Hey, are you okay?”

You snap out of it. “I’m, uh, I’m fine.” You push your seat back and stand. “I’m just, um, I’m going to go to the washroom for a second.”

“... Okay? Just watch yourself.”

“I’ll be fine,” you call out over your shoulder before immediately bumping into someone. Unlike with Pantalone, you actually manage to catch yourself before you fall. You know that Alik is holding their head in their hands, possibly stifling laughter too for a little extra salt in the wound.

“Archons, sorry,” you immediately blurt out, “I didn’t see you there.”

The ginger haired man laughs. “Oh, no worries comrade! Just be more careful next time!”

You stare at the man, eyes widening. His smile grows, almost reaching the dull blue of his eyes.

“Why the surprised face?” he asks jovially.

You sigh and shake your head. “I have got to stop meeting harbingers like this.”

[class1akids]

How was Hori trying to balance Bakugou’s ending when he got just as many bad moments in the war arc? And the bad moments outweigh the good ones. And then he gets dropped to 15 in the rankings. How is this balanced?

I'm just going to look at the main 4 - wishes / realities / pay-offs to show that not a single one of them got what they wanted / dreamed off:

Deku:

WISH: "OFA is not for killing, it's for saving. I want to save that little boy"

Reality: he ends up killing the crying boy, using OFA to destabilize his body. He loses the quirk he worked so hard to make his own in the process.

Pay-off: All Might calls him greatest hero together with Bakugou. Becomes a teacher, and realizes that his quirkless self could have become something other than professional hero, and still be heroic (probably, not shown). His friends give him a mecha suit. After 8 years, he (maybe) asks out a girl he likes.

Shoto:

WISH: Wants to save his brother, and share a meal with him.

Reality: Despite saving everyone, his brother is still dying, his family is alive but scarred and fractured, his family name is pulled through the mud and spends the first few years of his career overshadowed by a disgraced father and a criminal brother.

Pay-off: Gets no thanks or praise from anyone, but gets to ask his brother about his favorite food. Not that they'll ever eat it together. After 8 years of hard work people stop seeing him as Endeavor's son. He processes his grief over his brother into finding a new hobby.

Uraraka:

WISH: (This one is not so clear-cut), but she wants to see people smile and be able to be open about her feelings and wants to learn more about Toga and save her (maybe)

Reality: She gets wounded and Toga has to die to save her. Their battle is not even recorded and doesn't really influence or inspire anyone, other than Uraraka herself. She remains closed off about her feelings out of survivor's guilt.

Pay-Off: She gets a quirk upgrade. Toga thanks her. She gets comforted by Deku and Class A. She gets called Deku's hero and be thanked by him. She starts a successful quirk counselling program. Deku confesses to her instead.

So like nobody else gets their dream fully either.

Bakugou already got some amazing pay-off during the war:

He's the center of the effort to buy time for Deku and gets some amazing scenes of self-sacrifice

When he "dies", his team puts everything on the line to save his life

His resurrection is the biggest scene of the war, plus gets a quirk awakening

Gets to save All Might while the whole world watching

Gets the kill shot on AFO, and almost a solo credit for that kill despite everyone else's efforts

When he goes over to the final battlefield, he gets praised

Despite his injuries, he has a viable road to recovery, supported by his loving parents

All Might calls him the greatest hero and thanks him

His "death" and "resurrection" comes with only light costs - both Mirko's and Edgeshot sacrifices are turned into gags

He is admired by people and enters the chart at No 4.

Everyone helps him to organize the mech suit for Deku - and make his childhood dream an option.

I feel like Hori making him No 1 and making Deku his sidekick would have further increased the resentment of especially Deku-fans who felt like Bakugou got everything, while Deku lost everything.

So Hori gave him still some way to go to reach his dreams. He's only 25 - it's not like his life is over. Unlike the Savior Trio who all lost their villains and there is nothing they can do about it, Bakugou can still become No 1. He can even be partners or lovers with Deku at a later stage. Like none of those dreams are lost forever.

[tip-top-cloud-surfer]

The Forgotten Nest - Rooster

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw / Mitchell!OC (Cora)

Word Count: 3.1k

This work, all my works, and my entire blog are 18+ Only

Warnings: Past Unplanned Teenage Pregnancy; Angst; Absent Father Figures; The 'He Didn't Know About the Pregnancy' Trope; Repeating Trauma Cycles (Teen Pregnancy, Absent Parents, etc.); Crying; Carole Would Be Disappointed; Named Mitchell Daughter OC (Cora) and Named Mitchell-Bradshaw Son (Nickie)

Summary: Years ago, Rooster left Cora Mitchell's life when her dad pulled his papers. And, unknowingly, he left behind something other than just his toothbrush.

A.N. There are references to a previous unplanned teenage pregnancy (between two eighteen-year-olds) in this fic. There won't be any flashback scenes to the pregnancy, but the references are still there, so if that makes you uncomfortable, please do not read.

Master List

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Epilogue

Rooster walked out of the admiral’s office with his new orders clutched carefully in his hand. He kept his head held high as he walked through the narrow halls of the USS Gerald R. Ford, heading for his quarters to pack his bag and prepare to fly back to US soil. To Top Gun. To Miramar.

The Californian town had a lot of memories—some of the best and some of the worst of his life. It was the town where he lost his dad before he truly understood the gravity of it all. It was also the town where he spent his later years of high school after his mom died. Where he learned how to drive, where he graduated high school, where he had all of his firsts with a girl—now woman—whom he hadn’t seen since he stormed out of her life.

Cora Mitchell. Maverick’s daughter.

As a result of some poor decisions at nineteen, Maverick ended up with daughter only a few months younger than Bradley. Cora’s mom wanted nothing to do with her and even though Maverick was far from fit to be a father, he would have preferred falling down 100 flights of stairs than letting his child go into foster care.

Carole quickly offered to help raise Cora and help Maverick out. And as his mom used to call them, they were built in best friends. And in the later years of high school, they were a lot more than that. Sneaking into each other’s beds and spending the nights together was fairly regular and easy for them to pull off with Maverick’s bedroom on another floor.

Of course, then Maverick pulled his papers and then he left that life, and Cora, behind completely.

Rooster entered his room and shut the door behind him, heading for his bunk. His roommate wasn’t in, still doing drills with the rest of their squad, leaving Rooster alone with his thoughts. He opened the folder again, reading over the orders once more before he found his gaze shifting. Pulling out his personal bag, Rooster reached into one of the smaller pockets and pulled out a small photo preserved in laminate.

It was from a photo booth at Bradley’s senior prom. Cora sat on his lap, beaming at the camera as Rooster pressed a kiss to her cheek.

It was stupid to still be this curious about what Cora was doing with her life. After all, he was the one who broke up with her and stormed out of her life, saying all kinds of nasty things that he regretted the second that he said them. And he had to admit that he had scrolled through social media, trying to find a glimpse into her life, to no significant results.

All he knew was that she took some time off after high school and eventually graduated from nursing school. He assumed that she was still working as a nurse. And he knew that she now lived in or around Miramar. He didn’t have the guts to try and contact her when he was in town for Top Gun the first time around.

But maybe this new, and probably highly dangerous, mission would finally give him the kick in the ass to try and make things right with Cora. Even if it was just a simple apology, like a small ‘sorry,’ it would take away some of the guilt that ate away at his stomach every single time that he remembered her crestfallen expression and calls for him to come back.

Tucking the photo back into his bag, Rooster stood up and started to pack, letting his mind wander to what Cora’s life looked like now.

~~~~~

“Nicholas Peter Mitchell!” Cora thundered, marching towards the stairs, still dressed in her scrubs from work. “Get your butt down here now!”

Cora was only partially pleased to hear her son scrambling around, undoubtedly in the middle of some kind of panic due to her tone. She tapped her foot, able to picture her son’s exact expression of fear. She would have preferred that he simply told her ahead of time because then they could deal with it together, but he forced her hand by hiding it.

The sound of a door opening and a soft pattern of footsteps caused Cora to pick her head up. Her eyes narrowed when her son, Nickie, poked his head out from behind the wall with a sheepish smile. She shook her head when his expression gave away the fact that he knew exactly why she was upset. And that only caused her migraine to intensify.

“Hey, Mom. Did you have a good shift?” Nickie asked kindly, stepping out from behind the wall. “And did I mention that I love you and that you look more beautiful than usual today?”

Nickie, or simply Nick to his friends, was far from her twin. His hair was a light brown and curled at the end. His eyes were big and light brown, like someone she knew well in the past. The shape of his head and his cheekbones that were starting to emerge from the baby fat came from her side of the family, but the slope of his nose reinforced his father’s influence on his features.

But his sheepish, mischievous smile was definitely a Mitchell trait. Undoubtedly.

“When were you going to tell me that you got a speeding ticket?” Cora questioned, eerily calm despite her earlier yelling. “Today? Tomorrow? Next week? Never?”

“Mom, I already paid it off—”

“—When were you going to tell me?” Cora demanded, not amused. When Nickie fumbled for a response, Cora straightened up. “You have had your license for a month and you’ve already gotten a speeding ticket, Nickie. That’s not funny. You clearly do not understand that your car and your license are privileges, not rights.”

“It was at that speed trap under that highway pass on the way to school,” Nickie tried to explain, but Cora was not going to give him an inch of the moral high ground.

“I do not care where you got the ticket. I care that you were reckless behind the wheel of a motor vehicle. I care that you got a speeding ticket and now it’s on your record. And I care that you hid this whole thing from me.” Cora sighed, placing her hands on her hips and shaking her head at her son. “How much was it, Nickie?”

“Thirty bucks,” Nickie replied quietly.

“Well, then I think that thirty is an appropriate number of days to not need your car. And a good number of days to think about the importance of following traffic laws,” Cora stated, folding her arms over her chest. “Where are your keys?”

Nickie sighed and walked downstairs to grab his keys from the countertop. He quickly returned to his mother’s side and placed them into her open hand without a fight. Cora closed her hand and shoved the keys into her pocket.

“I’m serious, Nickie,” she stated softly, causing the teenager to turn back to her with doe eyes. “I don’t want you getting hurt. And speeding around, especially on these roads where there’s a thousand pedestrians and everything—it’s not safe. For you or anyone else.”

“I know, Mom. I’m sorry.”

“Thank you for having the maturity to realize that it was your bill to pay,” Cora offered her son in return, her tough exterior cracking just a bit. She rubbed her face tiredly. “And that’s probably what I get for letting your grandfather teach you how to drive.” Letting out a sigh, Cora dropped her hand from her face and turned back to Nickie. “How’s your homework coming?”

“Mostly done. I’ve got a test tomorrow.”

“Good.” Cora set her purse and the mail down on the countertop. “I’ll get started on dinner after I take a shower. Work on your homework and I’ll call you when I’m done.”

Cora walked into her bedroom and made a beeline for her on suite bathroom. Throwing her scrubs into her specified scrubs laundry bin, Cora quickly washed up from a long day at work. She changed into some comfortable clothes and a Navy sweatshirt before heading to the kitchen to start on dinner. The sun started to set in the distance as Cora waited for the chicken to cook.

The distinct sound of a Kawasaki caused her to look up from the oven, frowning with surprise. Walking over to the front windows, Cora was shocked to see her dad pulling into the driveway.

“What the—” Cora walked over and opened the front door, stepping out onto her front porch. “Dad? What are you doing here?”

“I thought that I would drop by since I was in town,” Maverick replied, setting up his kickstand and getting off his bike.

“Why are you in town? Not that I’m not happy to see you,” Cora added on, walking down to greet him. Maverick picked up the bag that he strapped to the back of his bike and pulled his daughter into a hug. But when she felt him wince, she instantly pulled back with a sharp, knowing look. “What happened now? What did you do this time?”

“Is that dinner that I smell?” Maverick asked, redirecting the conversation.

“You’re not getting out of this conversation,” Cora warned him, turning for her home and pulling the door open. “How many times do I have to tell you that you’re not twenty anymore? And could you at least wear a helmet once in a while?”

“Mom, who are you talking to?” Nickie yelled from upstairs.

“Your grandfather decided to drop by. Randomly,” Cora called back to her son.

A second later, there were a set of rapid footsteps echoing down the hall before Nickie appeared at the top of the stairs. His grin was immediately wide, showing the likeness between him and his grandfather, before Nickie hurried down the rest of the stairs to greet his grandfather.

“What are you doing in town?” Nickie asked, jogging over to Maverick.

“Well, I thought that it was a good idea to visit my favorite kid and grandkid once in a while,” Maverick joked, pulling Nickie into a hug despite his aching ribs

“Pops, I’m your only grandkid,” Nickie pointed out, frowning slightly.

“Still counts.” Maverick stared up at Nickie, jokingly inspecting him. “Did you get taller since the last time that I saw you? You look taller.”

“Maybe you’re just shrinking,” Nickie quipped, causing Maverick to turn to Cora.

“Don’t look at me,” Cora replied, gesturing to her own short stature. “Nickie over here got about three generations worth of height.”

Or, rather, he just had other genes to pull from when it came to height. And the men on the other side of Nickie’s family were all at least six feet tall, like Nickie was quickly shaping up to be. But not a single Mitchell in that household was going to bring that up.

Once dinner was finished cooking, the three Mitchells set the table and sat around, chatting and catching up since the last time that Maverick was in Miramar.

“I thought that you said that you wouldn’t be done with that project for a while,” Nickie stated, turning to his grandfather.

“Well, plans change,” Maverick replied noncommittally, glancing down at his plate.

“Because they were actually changed or because you felt the need to change them?” Cora deadpanned, cutting into her chicken.

“There might have been some . . . minor scheduling changes.”

“So, you’re not just visiting then,” Cora deduced, reaching for her drink. How she wished that it was wine instead of water.

“How long are you in Miramar for then?” Nickie asked excitedly, reminding Maverick painfully so of Bradley as a teenager.

“A few weeks. Somewhere around a month.”

“For what?”

“That’s classified,” Maverick replied, causing Nickie and Cora to roll their eyes in seemingly practiced sync. “I’d tell you, but—”

“—But then you’d have to kill us, yeah, we know, Gramps.”

“How’s school then? Still swimming and everything?” Maverick asked Nickie, changing the subject.

“It’s good. Swim doesn’t start for a few more weeks, but I’m trying to train before it. But I think I’m going to have to focus on running.”

“Why? Something wrong with the car?” Maverick questioned, looking concerned.

“No, just the driver,” Cora replied, setting down her utensils. “Nickie got a speeding ticket.”

“How bad?” Maverick asked, earning a sharp look from Cora. “I mean, that’s bad, Nickie. Don’t do it again. You have to get a little bit more driving experience before you start speeding.”

Cora sighed, holding her head in her hand for a moment as Nickie hid a smile behind his mouth. Maverick shot Nickie a joking smile before straightening up in his seat.

“But you’re doing good in school, Nickie?”

“Pretty well. Pre-calc is kicking my butt, but I think it’s supposed to get better.”

“Well, don’t be afraid to enjoy your teenage years a bit. Don’t go rushing off to try and grow up before your time,” Maverick replied, glancing over at his daughter for a moment. “Besides, I thought that you were going to try out for the surf team.”

“They want me to,” Nickie agreed, taking a bite of his dinner. “Mom’s a little scared to let me do it.”

“I just think that baseball is safer,” Cora replied softly, reaching for her drink. “Besides, between swim and water polo, you’re going to turn into a prune, Nickie. Not to mention that you go out sailing with Penny and Amelia all the time.”

“I just like the water, Mom,” Nickie stated, missing the pained expression on Cora’s face. “And besides, the baseball coach is an asshole.”

“Language,” Cora stressed, causing Maverick to chuckle.

~~~~~

After dinner, Nickie excused himself to finish up his homework. Cora and Maverick worked together to clean up after dinner and to set up the spare room for Maverick to sleep in while he was in town. But after the finished up the housekeeping, the father and daughter sat out on the back porch. Cora poured herself a glass of wine for the conversation and brought Maverick a beer.

“So, why are you really in town?” Cora asked, sitting down.

“Ice called me in,” Maverick stated, causing Cora to grow more serious instantly. “It’s a mission.”

“And not just any mission . . . is it?” Cora questioned, though she already knew the answer.

Ice wouldn’t have called Maverick in for just your run of the mill mission. This was a serious mission, that was certain. And that instantly caused Cora’s blood pressure to spike in an instant. Ice wouldn’t have called Maverick in unless it was something bordering on a suicide mission.

“No, it’s not,” Maverick agreed, nodding solemnly.

He looked away from his daughter for a moment, a rock settling in his stomach. It had been sitting there since a familiar face flashed on the screen in that conference room. But he knew that he had to unload it sooner rather than later.

To say that Maverick’s perspective on Rooster was complicated did not quite do it justice.

On one hand, as Cora’s father and Nickie’s grandfather, there was nothing that Maverick wanted to do more than to grab Rooster by his ear and give him the lecture of the century about responsibility and putting his personal emotions to the side to be a man and a father. Hell, if it was any other boy who did that to Cora, Maverick would have strapped him to the outside of the Darkstar and done a couple laps around the Earth.

But, on the other, as Goose’s wingman and the man who tried to raise Rooster, Maverick wanted Rooster nowhere near Miramar or this mission. Hell, Maverick did what he could to make sure that Rooster stayed as far away from a cockpit as possible. And that side of Maverick just wanted Rooster back in his life, safe and far from danger.

But being Cora’s father and Nickie’s grandfather was always the side that won out in the end.

“There’s something else,” Maverick began, causing Cora’s eyebrows to furrow with concern. “He’s involved in the mission.” Cora noticeably tensed up as Maverick added, “He’s here.”

“In Miramar?” Cora asked quietly, earning a nod from her dad. Sighing, she held her head in her hands for a moment. “Fuck.”

“Did you tell Nickie—”

“—No,” Cora interjected, cutting Maverick off. “No, I didn’t.” Not . . . not the whole story." She stared out at the backyard, out at the little swing set that Maverick and Ice built for Nickie on a warm afternoon so many years ago. “He’s supposed to be out in the middle of the Atlantic right now.”

“And I’m supposed to be in the Mojave.”

Nickie sat with his back to the wall, silently listening in on his mom’s conversation with his grandfather. He knew that it was wrong and he knew that he was already on thin ice with the speeding ticket, but he knew that his mom and his grandfather went outside to talk where he couldn’t hear them. But his mom always seemed to forget that the bathroom window was right above the patio.

“Have you seen him yet?” Cora inquired quietly, causing Maverick to nod slowly.

“Yeah, I did. Briefly. At the Hard Deck.”

“Did he see you?”

“I don’t think so, no,” Maverick replied, shaking his head.

Cora let out another sigh and held her head in her hands again. Maverick quickly got up from his seat, setting aside his beer and pulling his daughter into a tight hug. Cora latched onto her dad, trying to calm herself down and not shed anymore tears over Bradley Bradshaw.

But she failed. Just like she did the last thousand times.

Nickie clenched his eyes shut and curled his hands into fists. His mom was the strongest person that he knew. Life threw a thousand things at her and she somehow always managed to keep herself and him on their feet. But the second that anyone brought up his dad, she always flipped a switch.

She always broke down or went into absolute survival mode until something else snapped her out of it.

Nickie stopped asking about his dad when he overheard his mom sobbing to Penny in the middle of the night about how his dad still wouldn’t return her calls. It happened years ago, nearly a decade now, but it was still fresh in his mind. Burned there for the rest of his life. And, well, if his dad couldn’t even give his mom three seconds of his life, then Nickie wouldn’t give him an ounce of energy either.

And, hell, Nickie was a mama’s boy. And anyone who made his mom cry was dead to him. Dad or not, the fucker who never showed up for him or his mom was dead to Nicholas Peter Mitchell.

Whoever the hell he was.

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Epilogue

[rewatching-sam-and-dean]

Posting this here because I saw an obnoxious take on Threads just now, and I don’t have the character allowance needed to vent my annoyance over there. Plus, I hate that app.

Anyway, the offensive (to me) take I saw was one I see all too often, yet this person ventured forth their opinion like they were bravely standing up for the little guy. Please. The internet is crawling with AAs who spout the same crap 25/8.

The opinion:

“I have nothing against Jared…he’s a great Sam…but Jensen is just PERFECTION as Dean. Like. Besides being a fucking DREAMBOAT, he’s hysterical with his words and expressions.“

My Rebuttal:

I like Jensen as an actor, and I like Dean. I do. I also agree that Jensen is a good actor and Dean is a great character … when he isn’t pissing me off (or becoming a caricature in later seasons). I mean, he’s made me cry a good few times when watching the show, particularly when he’s just lost Sam. But, there are some parts of the ststement that just really bug me, especially because I’ve seen so many people make statements like this one.

First, Jared is good as Sam, But Jensen is PERFECTION as Dean. My issue with this is, how do you even quantify who is better at playing a chracter when the two characters are so different from each other that they are near opposites? Jensen is very good at playing Dean. He makes him feel real, and you can feel the connection he has with his brother and other family, which also adds to how empathetic and relatable he feels (at times). However, Jensen cannot forge the Sam and Dean connection alone. Jared makes up the other half of their duo. And sure, people can not like Sam or claim they don’t care for the brothers' dynamic, but 75% (or more) of who Dean is … is his love for and relationship with Sam. People can love to see Dean with Castiel or Charlie or whoever, and even say they like Dean better with them than Sam 🙄 but the only person he was playing off of when we first get to know Dean (and in my opinion the superior version of Dean) is Sam (Jared). If Jared wasn’t playing Sam very well, Jensen could emote all he wanted, but there would still be a disconnect there. I’m not saying Jensen wouldn’t still be charismatic or interesting on his own, but I will say that the Dean people love for how much he cares for his family and how real it feels did require Jared in particular. When Kripke talks about “lightening in a bottle” he wasn’t only talking about Jensen.

Anyway, let’s move on to the reasons for Jensen’s “perfection”:

1. Dreamboat - Okay, shallow, but let’s address this one first. Is this person claiming Jensen is perfect as Dean … because he’s hot? She knows Jensen isn’t actively choosing to be hot, right? Right? This isn’t a skill or talent, it’s being blessed with good genetics. While I do agree that Jensen is very attractive, i think Jared is too. I’d even say for a good few years there Jared put more effort into being physically fit, so does that make him more perfect at playing Sam … because he achieved pleasing physique? At least that wasn’t only genetics but work, too. This particular reason to love Jensen’s portrayal of Dean is shallow as hell, so I’m moving on.

2. Hysterical with his words and expressions - I am not going to argue against Jensen being “hysterical” because 1) what we all find funny is subjective, and 2) I also think he’s funny. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Jensen is good at humour and comic timing, and I’m certainly not going to try take that away from him. He’s a scene steeler. But, and I can’t believe I have to say this, he also plays a funny character. Dean is funny, or cheeky anyway. Sam is not (usually). So, why is Jensen being good at being funny when he’s playing a funny character more “perfect” than Jared who shows off his own comedic skills much less often because he’s playing a serious character? They are both doing what they are supposed to do for their respective characters. I also have to add that a good portion of the time, Dean’s humour is enhanced by Sam’s deadpan reaction. This is also good comic timing, but given who Sam is, it would be weird if Jared was constantly leaning into humor. As For Jensen’s “words” bring hysterical … does this person not realize that 90% of the time Jensen is saying the words written for him? Of course the inflection is his, and he’s been known to add lib, but the writers are more responsible for Dean’s words than Jensen. Conversely, Jared can’t use words to enhance his chrdcter that his character isn’t given. In fact, the fact that so many writers suck at writing Sam dialogue, forced Jared to crest a whole lexicon on physicality for Sam that makes him feel real and nuanced into the (abysmal) later seasons. Finally, with the “expressions," again I agree, Jensen uses his facial expressions very effectively at times (but I also think he over does it at other times). However, I also think Jared uses his expressions very effectively, broken puppydog eyes, anyone? Still, I also think Jared goes a little over the top at times in his expressions. Neither, despite what this person claimed, are perfect.

Anyway, my whole point with this (perhaps nit-picky) rant is NOT that I fault people for preferring Dean or liking Jensen’s acting style better, my annoyance comes in when they claim he’s perfect because he’s just no. No one is. And saying that Jensen plays Dean better than Jared plays Sam when they aren’t even comparable because of how different they are is just ignorant. It’s not a competition, yet some Dean fans so often need to make it one.

My honest opinion about JA and JP’s acting is that I think Jensen excels at drawing out empathy from the audience, making (many of) them feel sad when he’s sad, but I find Jared stronger when it comes to making different characters (or versions of his character) feel different. See Meg!Sam and Soulless!Sam in particular. So yeah, my issue is not with people liking a character or actor more, it’s with them thinking thst they are leagues apart when they are both, in fact C tier actors who have different strengths. And this additional and related notion that SPN would have been fine with just Jensen, or that just anyone could have played Sam and it wouldn’t have mattered is just … wrong.

Anyway, if you’re of the opinion that BOTH brothers and BOTH actors were crucial to the show, I’d love to chat about it with you, so feel free to hit up my asks or messsges. I love talking about the show and don’t get to do it enough.

If you think one actor was carrying the show on his shoulders (either one honestly, but we know who this is said of more often and by whom) … we just aren’t going to find common ground. So to those SPN fans …

Have a day.

[buff-muffin]

Random little One piece modern AU thoughts and I guess scenes I had about mainly Luffy

1. Luffy is the best guy to take to karaoke. While he isn’t the best singer he’s also not the worst. However he sings with his whole chest and heart and will sing duets with anyone no matter how lovey or metal. His energy always brought everyone out of their shells he just has a bad habit of singing when it’s not his turn

2. I feel like in a modern AU Luffy would still be friends with a lot of the people he met in series just under different conditions. Like water 7 instead of the mayor almost being assassinated he just. Met him. Like on good terms. idk, maybe Luffy saved tyrannosaurus and now they just exchange animals pics and the occasional “hey I’m heading to insert place where should I go to eat” and Luffy just introduces the Baratie with no heads up to Zeff and Sanji and when Sanji spams the group chat freaking out he just says you’re welcome :D

3. Luffy keeps the contacts of everyone he’s met and keep them under their nicknames. Monster granny, hammock, split head ect. It’s the only way he can remember them after all. When nami had gotten nosy and decided to go through his contacts she obviously asked who tf ice pops was. Imagine her surprise when Luffy confidently answers that it’s the mayor from a few towns over.

4. In a modern AU the ASL brothers were totally still bush kids. Like. Dadan’s (probably community house) was right by the woods and they would have a similar childhood to canon with less killing wild animals. But they also a thousand fucking percent had a Nintendo Wii. Like Ace and Sabo fought tooth and NAIL for player one and Luffy was banished to player three with the dingiest controller known to man (not even the safety strap could protect that thing from getting tossed at the tv) And speaking from my own experience as a younger sibling Ace totally spent a whole summer trying to unlock every character in Mario kart.

5. Law met the straw hats in collage at 2 am when they got kicked out of a bar and he was trying to mind his own business. While they saw him in their intoxicated state and said “you’re my friend now :)” Law was genuinely worried half of them had alcohol poisoning. An hour later he found himself in one of their apartments two of them passed out. One of them throwing up. All while he makes a grilled cheese for Luffy, the so called infamous man on campus who is crying sitting on the floor cause he’s starving. Law stayed the night to make sure none of them drowned in their own vomit and like imprinted baby ducks they have not left him alone since.

6. Luffy has been going to riots and movements for years. He started going with Sabo and Ace growing up when they were teenagers and hasn’t stopped. He also never thought to mention it to any of his friends until they saw him on the news at a protest absolutely fucking SENDING a tear gas canister back at the cops

7. I kinda wanna believe while devil fruits don’t exist in modern AU the character still has quirks semi related to their fruit. Like Robin is just, double jointed everywhere and could bend her arms and fingers in all the worst ways. Luffy can either contort his body to hide in tiny places OR he has stretchy skin. It’s nothing more then party tricks but it is cool

8. Luffy was definitely a gymnastics kid. Not in like. The competing sense. But in like the, one of the adults in his life would drop him off there twice a week for an hour. Did he participate with the other children and learn how to roll? NO! He was flinging himself full speed into giant foam mats and climbing rock walls without a harness. He was a menace to society and he was only taken to blow off some energy and it WORKED. Until he was kicked out.

[rainintheevening]

Suddenly realizing there are a bunch of movies I have watched this year and not really talked about them to anyone.

Let's see...

The Mummy (because of tumblr). 7/10. Funny, good solid characters. Creepy enough that I won't be watching it again.

Pride and Prejudice 2005 (because of Kiera Knightly) 5/10 Mr. Bingley and Jane were once again my favourites. Also Lizzy and Jane, and the rest of the family dynamics were quite good. Did not like Mr. Darcy in the least, and had to see far too much of him.

X-Men: Days of Future Past (because of @kingofattolia) 7/10 Quite enjoyed the younger versions of the mutant gang. Fascinating concept with the one girl's power and the way they do 'time travel'. Wolverine is still my favourite.

Belle (because of @smhalltheurlsaretaken) 10/10. Fantastic acting, solid representation of a variety of relationships including a very sweet romance, beautiful historical drama, inspiring, hopeful, uplifting.

The Fall Guy (because of someone at church) 10/10. Roller-coaster of a ride, delightful twists and turns, very funny at times, solid friendships, sweet romance, Emily Blunt being Emily Blunt, wonderfully over the top, as befitting a 'love letter to the unknown stuntman'. Also learned a lot about filmmaking.

My Neighbour Totoro (because of @novelmonger) 7/10. Funny, sweet, quite delightful. Weirdly the presumed-drowned scene contributed to a nightmare two nights later.😶

Kiki's Delivery Service (because of @sailforvalinor) 10/10. Made me laugh, made me cry, made me slow down and breathe. A beautiful story that teaches a beautiful lesson, particularly poignant for creatives like myself.

Ordinary Angels (because of the trailer) 8/10. Classic feel-good story, made me bawl.

Unsung Hero (because it's For King and Country) 9/10. Cried, laughed, loved all the heart and effort they put into telling their family's story. Great music too.

Ever After (because of tumblr) 10/10. Loved, loved, loved it. Beautiful in it's down-to-earth-ness.

... can't think of any others right now.

[saturnine-saturneight]

Here Comes the Sun

Being that I'm now on hiatus from posting Reburial to work on Act 2, it feels weird not to post anything on Sundays at all, so I'm going to try and keep up the posts with behind the scenes and other material that I already have lying around. Hope you all have fun it.

To kick that off, I thought I'd post the very first version of Chapter 5 :) I wrote this 8 years ago now, in 2016. This and the other short drabbles I wrote back then have been the basis for countless drafts and rewrites, but this chapter specifically is close to my heart because it was the very first one. A lot of it is very different, and some things stayed very much the same. I think it's a very fun comparison.

If you'd like to read this, I would suggest you read at least up to Chapter 5 first. Consider this heavy spoilers, it covers the same ground. All content warnings that apply to the most recent version of Reburial apply to this as well.

1.

You spot the first mushroom while washing yourself in the bathroom of a fast food chain—brightly colored plastic chairs, the queen's face plastered everywhere, glory to the Empire—and Ron dashes into the room so fast he almost slips on a puddle of cheap hand soap. 

He asks you why you screamed, your face in both of his hands; so you show him the memento you got from Cherie, a small, bright blue patch on your tan skin right where your first rib starts. The two of you more cling to each other than you hug, and then you both take antifungals at opposite sides of the grody bathroom and try to work out a plan of action.

“I didn’t think this would happen”, you say around the small white pill under your tongue. You want him close again, but you sit on your hands instead. “I never would’ve done this if I knew. You know that, right? That I didn’t know?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah”, he tells you and rubs his hand over his head, “calm the fuck down, I know you didn’t go spore fishing on purpose.” Then he stares at a suspicious puddle on the tiles between you. “Fuck, though." 

"Yeah”, you admit, “Fuck.”

2.

The next one pops up as you’re unloading boxes from a van you stole, trinkets and tidbits and two pounds of liquor, and when you heave the last box up the steps that lead to your customer's house and go to wipe the sweat from your forehead, there’s a bright blue patch on the back of your hand. You scream again until you cry, and don’t stop until Ron soothes you down from it (he never holds your face like that) and you can barely see him through all the tears. He tells you it’s going to be okay, but wears a mask around you from then on. 

He’s scared, you think, but you’re not sure if it’s for you or for himself.

At least it’s quiet for a while after that. The mushrooms don’t go away, but neither do your flowers, and you regularly make sure that they’re still there, push them upright, pick the dirt off them. You have to count your blessings after all.

3, 4, 5.

The third mushroom brings a friend, two cerulean blue fans that bloom up from your torso, right where your binder starts. They itch, but not as much as the fifth one that follows two nights later. It turns out that scratching them off doesn’t do anything.

Your best friend hasn’t touched you since you last shared a bed, almost two weeks that you’re really not trying to count—eleven nights, exactly eleven—when usually, you’re almost always in some kind of contact, feet in his lap or head on your shoulder or wrestling him in the dust. It’s good that he’s staying away. He split the antifungals up for you right before he split up the rest of your belongings, his side and yours, and that’s good too. You can’t actually see his face now, but the crease between his brows reads terror. That’s not so good.

6, 7, 8, 9—

After that, it all comes in waves. First more mushrooms, sprouting up in a big, technicolor patch right under your sternum, one all the way up your arm, a few single ones on your forehead and your cheek (Cherie’s still burns cold against yours), all as blue as the sky on the worst days. They leave your beautiful blossoms wilted and brown and you cry some more. Ron starts chewing his nails again.

Then comes the fever, bright and hot (like the sun? No, like a fire, or—like something that’s hot), and you’re almost grateful because it makes you forget yourself so much that you barely even notice that you can’t bind anymore.  

Next comes the thirst. You don’t have a metaphor for that one, all you know is that you could drink the sea if Ron let you. His face reads something milder now. Worry again, maybe. (He’s not giving up on you, is he?)

End.

What really knocks you out is the hunger, though; two, maybe three nights after the thirst sets in. Your legs go weak under you, your stomach is hollow, even the crusted up red you left in your wake before Ron made you trim your nails is starting to look appetizing, even if you’re vaguely aware of how disgusting that is. He feeds you jerky, beans, and canned fruit, but it’s just not enough.

There’s nothing on his face now, nothing in his body language. You know this boy like the back of your hand—bright blue patches not included—and you can read him like a book. He’s going to leave you. Of course he is, no normal person would ever love a zombie.

So the next time the moons go down, you don’t sleep. It’s not like you would want to miss a single ray of sun anyways, but this time, you won’t lie down in the grass.

He sleeps in the dark in your backup tent, curled around his dog, hood pulled over his eyes. There’s fine, brown fur all over his clothes when you come closer, and when you crouch over him you see that his hair has gotten way too long. 

You’ve barely reached out to brush your fingers through it when something stops you mid-motion—he’s awake. “Nat?” Then, again, “Natalie?!” It’s way too loud for such a beautiful day, such a bright day, such a—you find that your mouth works in vain when you want to express that, so instead, you growl. He calls for you again, turns his head towards your tent—he thinks he’s hallucinating, so, like the good friend that you are, you show him that he’s not.

You aimed for his throat, but caught an arm instead, you discover when your teeth hit his ulna with a satisfyingly wet crunch—or his radial bone? In any case, you get a mouthful of blood. You just want to bite down again to make short shrift of this one when you discover that he has a second arm, the faithless friend, the fucking traitor—the dart in your neck won’t budge. Fuck him for looking so clueless while carrying elephant-grade tranquilizer with him. Fuck him and fuck his crocodile tears. 

Your jaw goes slack almost instantly, but at least you get a second bite in. On a shoulder, you note, hazy but not unhappy, before the world tilts and you go down hard.

Hi Reburial taglist 👋

@tragedycoded @cowboybrunch @fairytaleinagem @marlowethelibrarian @gioiaalbanoart

@davycoquette @cometkov @writingrosesonneptune @innocentlymacabre @noblebs

[vytels]

Rex Raises Luke AU Part 4

So, as I’m sure some of you have noticed at this point… the “scene #” has nothing to do with the chronological time. It’s just the order of how I wrote things out 😂

So yeah, there are a good number of scenes!!

Also, I wanna add some more context when I post these lol…

So for this one, Rex and Cody reunite after a bloody fight with imperials on a snow covered planet. Rex is still get a handle of being a parent.

Later, Rex “sics” Cody on Obi-Wan and of course, years pass of Codywan falling in love again and having a sickening sweet domestic life…

Luke is probably around 8 to 10 years old in the second scene. He hasn’t met Obi-Wan yet, but he will…

Previous - Next

Scene #4

“Cody,” Rex wheezed. He slapped a hand on his brother’s shoulder and clenched his fingers around the pauldron, before dragging the man up to his feet.

“Rex,” his vod’s voice broke, “I’m so sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for, ner ori’vod.” Rex crumbled and stepped forward, wrapping his arms around the bloody gray armor and burying his face into his brother’s neck. Armor pinched at his cheek, but he didn’t care as he lifted a hand to clench into his brother’s finely cut, regulation curls.

Another choke left his brother’s throat, but then his head shifted and his chin pushed over Rex’s temple. Arms wrapped around him and squeezed him tight, a hand cupping the back of his neck and another wrapping fingers around edge of his cuirass. The cold dipped away as his brother turned into the wind, blocking the onslaught of bitter ice that cut through his body

Tears soaked his eyes as warmth flooded him, filling from his feet to his fingers, and Rex refused to let go of the one brother he had mourned the most.

“Su cuygar,” Rex gasped, his lips pulling into a smile.

A laugh jolted from his brother, ruffling them both. “Elek, I’m alive and you are too… you’re alive.”

“I am.” Rex leaned back and caught the tears on his vod’s face, knowing that his face reflected the same.

“What happened? Where did you go?” Cody looked down at him, hands moving to grip his shoulders.

“Well,” Rex began but a piercing cry ripped through the air.

He whipped his head around and caught onto the sight of his ship, the ramp down and the gathering snow. Another cry pierced his ears, desperate and louder, the exact opposite of happy.

“Rex?” Cody asked.

He looked back at his brother, sighing and smiling. “I have someone that I want you to meet.”

Scene #5

“Ba’vodu!” Luke slammed into the orange-armored man, staggering them toward the edge of the ramp.

The man let out a grunt, enough to bring an amused smile to Rex’s face as he watched the two, and then sighed as he looked down.

“You’re getting too big for this,” Cody said as he rested a hand over the boy’s hair. “Su cuy’gar, Lu’ika.”

“Su cuy’gar!” The boy smiled. “I missed you.”

The man chuckled and ruffled the boy’s hair, smirking down at him before looking back to the ship. “I’ve got presents for you, care to step inside before you see them?”

“Yes!” Luke slipped away from his uncle and waved him inside, his chatter and gestures filling the air. “I rearranged my room, I have to show it to you!”

Over the years, the inside of Rex’s ship had changed away from the sterile military-class design. Lights had been replaced to create golden glows over the painted walls, detailed in designs of creatures and stories. A few places had children’s handprints pressed into the edges, steadily growing bigger and taller. Further down the corridors, two storage rooms had been stripped clean and refitted with bunks, creating bedrooms next to each other. Each was decked out in their own fashion, one with crisp sheets and military plans laid across desks, and the other with toys scattered and an endless supply of blankets.

While Luke couldn’t move the bunk in his messy room, he did spend hours every few months rearranging the desks and platforms, the chests and buckets, to fit whatever scenarios were running through his head. It scratched noises into the air and softs sounds of music, but Rex didn’t mind, not when his son would fly into his arms moments later and ask him to see the changes made.

As the ramp of the ship closed, Luke pulled Cody to sit on the singular L-shape couch. The boy squeezed himself between his father and uncle, before pulling himself up to lean against the raised center table. A smile gleamed across his face as his head swiveled between the two of them, before his whole body turned and his eyes set back onto his uncle’s form.

“What did you bring me?” Luke asked, eyes wide.

“Udesii,” Rex said and reached out, patting his son’s back.

But his son didn’t seem to notice as he leaned closer to his uncle.

“Listen to your buir, ad’ika.” Cody smiled, but his hand was already reaching into the satchel at his side. “Have you been listening to him?”

“Yes!” Luke replied. “I’ve been good, I promise!”

Cody glanced across his nephew’s head, an eyebrow raising as he smirked and leaned against the center table. Rex met his brother’s eyes and smiled, giving him a small nod in return as he rested in his hand on Luke’s back.

“Alright then,” Cody said as he turned back to Luke, “Here you go.”

He pulled out two items from his satchel and set them on the table. Both of them were small, wrapped in cloth, and had scribbled aurebesh across them. One was disc-shaped, as if hiding a puck underneath its wrappings. The other was larger and took up a wide portion of the table, but the shape of the item inside was hidden by the obvious box that held it.

Luke leaned over the table, reading out the words on the smaller gift, “From Master Kenobi?”

“That’s right,” Cody said.

“My father’s master?” Luke asked and sat taller in his seat, his hands reaching toward the present. “That Kenobi? Obi-Wan Kenobi?”

“Elek,” Cody replied, “I’ve been spending some time with him, he wanted you to have this.”

The wrapping cloth fell away as Luke pulled out the true gift. The puck was completely black with a few protruding buttons along the side and a sheet of silver metal across the top; a hand-held holoprojector with only a few features. When Luke pressed a button, a list of items jumped into projection: meditations, lightsabers, the Force, shielding, form I, form II, form III and so on.

“He wants you to learn about the Jedi,” Cody explained as Luke stared.

“Really?” The boy asked and pulled his gaze away from the projection.

Cody nodded and a light grew in his eyes. “Only if you want to, but this is the knowledge he is offering you.”

“Wizard,” Luke exclaimed and then turned to Rex, a plea crawling onto his face, “Can we add this to our training?”

It didn’t take much to break down Rex’s will, not when it came to the way his son smiled and his eyes lit up. Every ounce of happiness and excitement reflected in his smile and the rising of his shoulders, the way that he clutched the holoprojector closer to his chest. Already, it was a treasured item that his son would protect.

“Yeah,” Rex sighed, “We’ll figure it out.”

“Yes! Thank you, buir!” Luke cheered and then looked back down at the holoprojector, fingers scrolling through the various items listed.

“Hey, don’t forget the other present.” Rex nudged his son and then nodded to the table.

“Oh, yeah!” Luke turned back, setting the holoprojector aside and then reached for the larger present.

Once the cloth fell away, his son ripped into the box and pulled out what was hidden inside. The item sparked Rex’s heart and his eyes widened as his son held onto it.

The cuirass set, missing pauldrons but still carrying the chest and torso piece, had been reworked. It was smaller than the regular clone set and inside flickered with silver, a secondary metal lining. The white surface was wiped clean, reflective and shiny.

“Ba’vodu!” Luke gasped as he held the cuirass up. “My own…?”

Rex gaped over at his brother, at the satisfied smirk across Cody’s face.

“That’s right, ad’ika,” Cody said, “Reworked it myself, it should fit you for the next few years.”

“I’m going to paint it orange.” Luke’s words cut straight through Rex’s chest.

“Ha!” Cody smirked, eyes alight as he looked over at Rex.

Then Luke added, “And blue!”

“Oh,” both Cody and Rex sighed.

[twstedteaparty]

Just a small thin that had been brewing for a bit.

It’s supposed to be a leoide more Centered around Leona and my head cannons around his relationship with falena and there age gap (all based on my own brother and i) not adding dialogue i hate writing that stuff so much but im also trying to just get better and setting the scene and like exposition.

Also I pushing my Idia is a little more fucked up then people seem to realized and that he’s cleaner then people realize agenda because I’m sic of people stereotyping him as a gross gamer boy

I’m also pushing my Leona cares more then he lets on and they Idia fell first and miraculously Leona fell about a throsand times harder

From the day Leona was born falena loved the little cub he was 10 almost 11 when Leona was born his parents didn’t even get a name out before falena had (accidentally) called the little cub Leona and they all accepted it. Falena would take Leona with him every where he could since he parents where never really around. They were off doing royal stuff and talking with the elders, so falena took care of the little cub.

By the time Leona was 11, falena was in power over the kingdom. He still made time for his little brother. Tho the one time he was left un attended he’d gotten attacked by a turkey vulture and got injured. Falena was there to pick him up and get him fixed.

There falling out had happend three years after that. Falena had started courting the captain of the gauards. A gorgeous and strong woman, Leona couldent stand it he’d felt like he’d lost his brother the only person who seems to care about him that dident veiw him horribly. He kept his mouth shut and pretended to be happy about it. It’s not like it had matters to much once falena had an heir Leona could never become king. Hatred and resentment bubbled up slowly.

Cheka came around a year later. Leona got to hold him. He through the little cub looked goofy the falena assured him that’s how they all looked. The first year with Cheka around was fine tho the second year it became a pain tho despite that he stayed around to help.

July was always the worst both his parents had passed away during that month. His father died 17 days before his birthday and his mother only died 8 days before his birthday. He hated it. He dident even cry at there funeral. He wasent close to them anyways. Tho on his 17th birthday he’d finally decided to go to night raven just to escape from home and all the chaos.

His first and second year go off with out a hitch. He stayed behind the first winter. He figured he’d have been alone. He was sitting in the cafeteria (the only part of school still open) staring at a blue haired boy and his robot. Luckily for him Idia (which he’d heart come out of the robots mouth) wasent paying attention or if he was he was hiding pretty well behind the lap top screen. That was how he’d spend his morning during the winter break after that. Tho after his second year he dident see Idia around as much.

Tho that had also changed quickly during there third year. After his own overblot and his brother worring he’d decided to say fuck it and embrace some positive emotions so with Ruggie help he carefully started trying to court Idia tho it was hard to tell if it was working since he never saw idias reaction. Although he’d heard from ortho that Idia had seemed a bit more cheerful since he’d descoverd somebody actually liked him.

At some point Leona properly confesssed. If he had to recall correctly once they were all back from S.T.Y.X he whent to go find Idia. It had taken him awhile. Idias dorm was the only one what had a bathroom attached to it with a full working shower. he’d found Idia curled up in the shower since it was away from people and it was dark. He’d held Idia for what seems like hours.

Idia had been stressed out forcing him self to stay some what rational during his time as acting director for S.T.Y.X. Hed been muttering the whole time about how sorry he was for putting all the other house wardens through that and for even over blotting in the first place. He felt bad that the house wardens basically had to stop him and that he’d potentially hurt them more than they let on.

Leona had to shut idias muttering up some how So he had kissed him and shut him right up. The rest of the year was blurry but during there fourth year they kept in contact via text then graduated.

After that Leona wound up staying with Idia.it took quite a bit to convince the elders that this would be good for public relations and would strengthen the kingdom and some other bull shit. There wedding was small really it was only Cheka ortho falena and his wife plus some of there old school mates. Yuu officiated the wedding, Leona found that funny.

Staying with Idia it left no room for him to be second to anything. Idia would stop his work to spend time with Leona. They made sure to play duo game. They were absolutely eachothers world and it showed.

[rainyraisin]

Ranking and reviewing the musicals I saw in 2024!

Starting this in April so I don't have the freshest memory for the first two but the rest will all be done as soon as possible after I see them!

Six - Already seen this show twice but its still such a cool experience! Last time I went to see it was pretty close together so it was the same cast for both but this time it was obviously a different one gchkfkjgv- I think I preferred the cast I saw before though, this one wasn't bad at all they just had better chemistry. Also this time I genuinely didn't care for Heart Of Stone. I hate it on the soundtrack so I was expecting to hate it on stage but when I went to see it the first two times I ADORED it. I thought it just couldn't be done justice by the soundtrack but now I think its just one that is either incredible or boring, no in-between. Her little speech before the song almost made me cry though so it's not that she was a bad actor, I just think she's better at acting than acting through song. ANYWAY ENOUGH ABOUT HEART OF STONE a really interesting thing about going to see a show again a few years later is that you see what lines they've changed and added (and also what lines were complete lies like no I don't remember you from my GCSEs yall have not been mentioned once fthdrhutfxhtc/silly). Idk its just cool to me seeing how shows change over time. Also the actors weren't all negative compared to the ones I've seen before! This Katherine Howard was INCREDIBLE. I fucking ADORED All You Wanna Do, it's not my favourite song but it's DEFINETLY my favourite one on stage GOSH she smashed it out of the park. Absolutely loved every second.

Rating 7/10, would be higher but seeing a better version of this show put this version down for me. Still really fun though!!!!

Your Lie In April - I've spoken about this one before so I'll keep it brief, really good show, was very cool to see the first English performance of it and I geeked out hardddd during it. Was incredibly funny which was surprising given how sad of a manga YLIA is but it was very pleasant still. Watari was the best character they gave him all the best jokes and you could just tell his actor was having an absolute blast playing him he was LOVING it. But on the negative side, there was a lot of pacing issues in the second act and some lines were really awkward to the point people were laughing at lines that were meant to be sad. I don't think it's the actors fault, I think the book just could've had more work done on it, it mightve been TOO directly translated. Also the pacing issues could've been at least a little helped by getting rid of the 8 minute scene were Kousei practices playing his song like it was cool but did we really need that when you CUT THE FINAL DUET??? LIKE YOU COULDVE KEPT THAT AND JUST INCLUDED KAORI I COULDVE FORGIVEN THE PACING ISSUES IF YOU DIDNT CUT ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT SCENES IN THE STORY- oh and there were a few too many songs like I love myself shows with 50 songs on the soundtrack (Hamilton and Next To Normal my beloveds) but the pacing issues could've been really helped by cutting one or two of them, as good as they were. The show could've really been helped by being just a little bit longer.

Rating 7.5/10 Still really enjoyable show and I really hope to see it again because I'm sure the quality will improve!! But as it is its not the greatest it can be even though the potential is there. The only reasons it's higher than six is because Watari was fucking hilarious, the scene where Emi and Takashi show up on bikes for NO fucking reason, the songs being bangers that I really want to listen to again cast recording when, and Young Kousei started break-dancing during the bows it was incredible.

Waitress - I wasn't going to include this one since it's not a physical performance but like. I'm gonna do it anyway bc there was only one showing of it at the cinema so like its basically just as cool right?/silly And anyway proshots are the only way I can see Broadway shows so this was only my second exposure to one and DAMN AM I JEALOUS OF U AMERICANS (my first was Hamilton's proshot btw which doesn't really show the full extent of Broadway since its one set throughout the whole show but that one is still amazing ofc)

The set design? Fucking IMMACULATE it was incredible GOD. Literally some of the coolest sets I've ever seen in my entire life (ngl probably THE coolest) and the fucking PIE FRIDGES ON EITHER SIDE OF THE STAGE??? LIKE????? HELLO????????? Making that many props must've taken forever what the fuck. Just the props and sets in general astounded me. I've done shows with props and sets before and I've seen them with props and sets before but never have I seen so many, not to mention how gorgeous they all looked. Genuinely wondering if some of the pies were real or if they were all props bc they were legit eating them like god those must be a pain to make for 8 shows a week-

I adore the characters and plot. I'd already seen the movie (which isn't a musical, was very disappointed when i discovered that lmao) so I had a vague knowledge of what I was going into but it still blew me away. I was genuinely sobbing throughout the entire show I'm not even joking 😭 I'd only heard a few of the songs since I had to sing them for my Musical Theatre grades but hearing them sung on stage gave me fucking goosebumps still, ESPECIALLY Sara Bareilles' songs. She's always been my favourite Jenna so it was amazing seeing her perform it. There's just something about seeing someone perform songs they wrote that destroys you so much more. However, some of the songs I wasn't really as invested in, the lyrics weren't sung very clearly and it made it difficult to follow along. I'm going to listen to them on the soundtrack at some point but I decided not to do so until I wrote this review as it's for this specific production and not the musical as a whole.

Without spoiling it, a part of the ending was the only thing I personally had an issue with, outside of the song issues I mentioned. I understand why it had to happen for the story and characters and I think it's cute but PLEASE. I WAS SO INVESTED IN THAT PART OF THE PLOT PLEASEEEEEE. It partially makes me question why that part of the plot really happened??? I don't know I guess it could just be me not being knowledgeable on that sort of thing and I can think of a few reasons why they went that route but its still weird to me, especially after this one scene that made me so certain it was going to go in this one direction.

9/10, incredible musical, definitely in my top 5 (for now), but some story and song issues made me push it down a bit.

Hamilton - ALEXANDER HAMILTON!!! I've been waiting to see this show for so long yall don't even KNOW. I've obviously seen the proshot like a shit ton but as yall know that isn't comparable to seeing it on stage. Ofc having already seen it so many times, the impact was lessened but I'm not gonna hold it against this show. When it came to Six the versions I'd seen were on very even playing fields but you can't compare a Broadway pro-shot with the original cast and the writer of the show himself to a UK tour that has only just switched to a new theatre (not that the UK tour was bad in any way shape or form, it was just obviously smaller scale which is completely fair).

First off, let me say, Peggy/Maria was INCREDIBLE. God her voice was fucking gorgeous, the fact that she's only in about 3 songs is criminal and her acting was so amazing. I would love to see her in a show again because I need to see more of her. Layfette/Jefferson was another highlight, god I adored him, he was incredible as Layfette but he turned it up to ELEVEN as Jefferson and I was immediatly hooked whenever he came back on stage, his movements and his acting and vocals were all so animated and it was so goddamn cool to see. The way he says "I tried :(" in *last song* will be stuck in my brain foreverrr.

I actually got a picture of the set before the show and just LOOK at how gorgeous this is

Like HELLO??? U cannot look at that set and tell me it isn't the coolest shit you've seen in your entire life. This is a good time to mention that I had STALL TICKETS TO THIS. I didn't know until we sat down bc going to this was my 16th birthday present from my Grandma (I love her so so much) and all she told me was that we were going to Hamilton nothing else WACHJXFHG- so yeah that was absolutely insane. I got a great view as well so YIPPEE!!! Definetly elevated my experience as I was far enough from the stage where I could see at least a good deal of it and close enough where I could see the expressions and it was SO COOL.

Also before I get onto problems I have to say that this show had possibly the FUNNIEST 9 year old Phillip performance I've seen it was fucking incredible, he like jumped up and WRAPPED HIS ENTIRE BODY AROUND HAMILTON AND I WAS JUST DYING WAVVGHJFGH- I thought the thing of a grown ass man playing a 9 year old was funny before but this production took it to a whole other level literally had my head in my hands laughing so goddamn hard it was amazing.

I think my biggest problem with the show was honestly Burr. Like I wasn't the biggest fan of Hamilton himself but he absolutely had his moments, especially when he was singing (and in Farmer's Refute he was so fucking funny in that song). And The World Was Wide Enough was incredible, honestly I think he really shined in Act 2, he was amazing in that, Act 1 was more of the issue. But Burr I didn't really like for most of the show. Not as a character because Burr is absolutely one of my favourites, most of my top 5 songs from this show either feature him or are only him (the only outlier being Say No To This) so it was relatively disappointing that his performance didn't click with me, especially since Burr is such an important character. I will say that The Room Where It Happened was SPECTACULAR but otherwise yeah I wasn't a fan. My favourite song in the show is Dear Theodosia and the fact that that was probably one of my least favourite moments in this specific production says a lot. He did have his moments like Hamilton's Act 1 performance did, but otherwise I was not a fan. Also I saw more of Burr in Laurens' actor than I did Burr's so like. Yeah. He's not a bad actor or singer I just don't think he's that great of a Burr.

Eliza is kind of a middle ground for me, because she had moments where she was absolutely incredible and then moments where I was just like hhhhhhh. Her actress had a gorgeous voice and it was very distinct, like whenever the ensemble sang you could pick her out easily, I love her voice so much. But early on in songs like Helpless her voice had a tendency to sound very nasally and pick me-ish (idk how else to describe it), especially on the "I Do's", like Helpless had me WORRIED. But she really does improve as the show goes on and she grew on me a ton. It's just early on where I wasn't that keen on her. Songs like Burn and *last song* are where her voice really shined, god those were absolutely incredible. Also I will say, she is a *very* new Eliza, the old Eliza's run ended just before I saw it (which I was pretty sad about ngl because I was so looking forward to seeing her) so I will give her the benefit of the doubt because for one of her first shows as Eliza she did a fucking amazing job despite certain bits at the start being not the best.

To end on a more positive note, I'm not much of a dancer (leg problems ayyyyyy) so I can't speak too much on the choreography but it was absolutely breath-taking, anyone who's seen Hamilton knows how incredible the choreography is no matter who's directed it but god I adored it. The movement really does make this show I swear. I wish I could've watched all of the ensemble do their thing the whole way through because the Hamilton ensemble is always an absolute highlight of the show and they all did an incredible job god I wish I could watch just that choreography again I'm in LOVE with it all.

Another 9/10, Burr's performance would've tanked it a bit more but everything else was so incredible that I really can't score it too low, if it weren't for Burr I probably would've liked it more than the proshot and for people who've seen the proshot you know that's a LOT to say. Brilliant show, would love to see it again. If the Burr changes I will be FIGHTING for a ticket because that's bound to be a life changing experience.

Bonnie And Clyde - Is a show I was going to see but the UK tour got cancelled due to poor ticket sales :( I'm really bummed about it bc I legit had front row seats to it. But we used the refund to get tickets to Chicago next April so yippee!!! Sad I can't yap about seeing it in person but I hope to watch the proshot at some point!!! I sadly haven't gotten around to it at the time of finishing this post but Jeremy Jordan is in it so I'll get around to it eventually.

Dear Evan Hansen - Okay writing this over a month late bc I wrote the Hamilton one in fucking June and I went to go see this in October so I straight up forgot I was doing this 😭😭 but yeah it's November now. The day of me seeing Book Of Mormon is closer than the day I went to go see DEH. Wild. So yeah bc of this, this section may not be as in depth as the rest due to it having been so long BUT!!! I will try my best!!!

First things first, I was SCARED for this show. Hamilton showed me what having an actor who didn't work for the role in one of the most important roles of the show could do, and given Evan is around ALL the time I was begging he would be good. And guess what? He was... AMAZING‼️‼️ Absolutely loved him, genuinely I would kill to see him in more performances because he was incredible. I doubt that would happen bc he's from a different part of the country from me but honestly he deserves to go on as many tours as he damn pleases. Honestly the entire cast was solid, there wasn't a single actor I didn't think fit their character, they were all really well cast. Zoe had a few weird moments here and there but it was literally opening night in a completely different venue, I cannot give two shits, go girl go u slayed.

Connor was definetly my favorite character, I was most excited about this because of him as the soundtrack doesn't really give you much Connor Content™️. As someone who's read the book though I genuinely wish there was more of him (I know the book is based off the musical but it's way better fight me). Connor is just as much of the main character as Evan is, and whilst I know that trying to squeeze in more character stuff with him would've been generally very difficult I kinda just wish he was lurking on stage at times, would've been a good metaphor for Connor's looming prescence over Evan that he self-imposed and now he's having to deal with the constant consequences of. We do get a few moments of Evan's version of Connor talking to him (or singing with him in the case of Sincerely Me, my second favorite song here as Connor's actor was brilliant, it was staged amazingly, and ofc its the only comedic song in the show so you're bound to get a lot of enjoyment out of it), but I wish his presence were more frequent, its a musical man get creative!!!!

The set was incredible, genuinely they knocked it out of the park, especially given it was a relatively small venue, at least compared to some of the ones I know it was performed at previously. They had moving kitchens and different bedroom sets and it was sickkkk!!!!!! Straight up loved the set design. And the songs were gorgeous, everyone had a beautiful voice which honestly should be expected given it was a tour but I already told yall about Hamilton, and tbf I have seen a few shows where the actors take an entire act to start sounding good 😭😭 (Veronica in the performance of Heathers I saw at this same theatre I am talking to you I hated her in the first act and then suddenly in act 2 she blew me away like GIRL WHERE WERE U HIDING THAT VOICE HUH????) So this was just genuinely a really cool thing to me, idk how they can sing so incredibly for 2 hours straight its mesmerising.

The best part about this show was being able to see my favourite song performed though because it was CUT OUT OF THE MOVIE. THE MOST IMPORTANT SONG IN THE SHOW (IN MY OPINION) WAS CUT FROM THE MOVIE. Good For You fucking SLAPS and I was estatic to be able to see it in its full context and glory. Evan is a sympathetic character but he's also a character that NEEDS to be held accountable for his horrible actions and the fact that the movie barely did that has always pissed me off so thank you performance of DEH in its best form you have avenged me.

8/10, I generally still had some issues with it, I dont think this show is the best it can be (I still kind of hate the ending) and I probably would've had more negative things to talk about if I wrote this review earlier, but still a great show! Evan's actor should be given as much work as humanly possible I will FIGHT FOR HIM.

Book Of Mormon- OKAY SO UM. ITS BEEN A MONTH AGAIN. ITS LITERALLY 2025 NOW. I was finally gonna write this review after my birthday bc I was hella busy before and then I got really sick. Oops! BUT!!! I CAN YAP NOW!!!

This is one of my favorite musicals, straight up no lie. I was listening to the HELL outta it after I went to go see it, I listened to Spooky Mormon Hell Dream like 67 times one day 😭 the soundtrack is just. Incredible. SMHD is definetly my favourite song, it's so cool on stage and literally everything about it makes me go crazy but some other highlights were Hello!, Turn It Off, and I Believe. I've had them all stuck in my head since I saw it.

I didn't have a single issue with any of the actors or honestly just anything about this show, which is shocking because I thought like there has to be at least one person who I won't be fond of because that's been the case all year, but genuinely they all did an absolutely amazing job and I adored every actor, I couldn't get enough. Obviously this show is a bit crude and there were moments when I was like oh. Oh no. But I can't blame that on the show, its by the South Park creators what can you expect? I still loved those parts, the best thing about going mostly solo (my mom decided she wanted to go last second but obviously couldn't sit with me) was that I didn't have to worry about how the people with me would react to it, I just got to have fun!

The sets were absolutely gorgeous in this show, I obviously couldn't get a pic of any of them because unlike Hamilton it's not just one but here's the boarder around the stage! It was so pretty!

Also yes I had an insanely good seat, row B baby! I have never been this close to the stage ever and i was so giddy. It's genuinely so cool being able to see all the little details on the props up close!

The costume design was also incredible, I've found out it's standardised across all the performances so it's not exactly a perk of this specific performance but I still want to yap about it! The demon costume for the General was so freaking awesome, honestly all the costumes for SMHD were cool as hell. Genuinely I encourage you to look up a video of this song being performed because whilst it won't be as cool as seeing it live (and from what I've seen the sets aren't as cool as the one I saw), the costumes are awesome and the song is just genuinely fun to see performed!

The two main characters were obviously the highlight of the show, their chemistry was crazy and every single moment they had together just had me smiling so wide, they're absolutely perfect. Kevin my beloved I could never hate him 🙏🙏🙏‼️‼️ Even if the rest of the show wasn't as good as it is, I'd still love it purely because of these two. They're so silly 😭😭💖💖🌸🌸🌸

Also I just want to mention that during Turn It Off, Kevin has a vest like all the rest of the elders and he looks so fucking confused it was amazing, as soon as the dance bit is over bro just rips it off and goes to sit with an equally confused Arnold who comforts him it's so funny 😭😭😭 literally acted perfectly I adored it

10/10. The plot of this show isn't much to ride home about, it's not like a life changing experience or anything, but it doesn't have to be! Its a musical! The Book of Mormon is just a genuinely fun, creative, hilarious show and I enjoyed every minute of it! I was genuinely desperate to see it again and I have never felt that way about a show before now. It completely smashes what it sets out to accommplish and I wouldn't change a thing about it. Not my favourite musical ever but honestly I think it knocked Waitress out of my top 5 lmao, sorry Waitress- I would put it at Number 3 or 4 probably!

And now!!! Ranking time!!!

6. Six

5. Your Lie In April

4. Dear Evan Hansen

3. Waitress

2. Hamilton

1. Book Of Mormon

This was genuinely really fun to do and I love going to see musicals so this genuinely might become a yearly thing! I'm seeing a decent number this year despite thinking I wasn't going to as shows keep popping up so ill probably have enough for another list like this! (spoiler alert I'm almost 100% convinced that Hadestown will be my number 1 but we'll see!!! Literally my only exposure to that show has been ads as I want to go in as blind as possible past what I already know Greek myth wise but I know it'll be spectacular)

If you've gotten to the end thank you for reading, I really appreciate it‼️‼️‼️💖💖💖🌸🌸🌸 I know it's a long ass post

[stilldancewithyou]

What are your thoughts on the carnival scene both in the book and the show? Was Conrad really interested in the girl from the ring toss or do you think his sole purpose was winning Belly Junior Mint?

There is this weird dynamic between them where they kind of assume that the other knows how they feel because they do have a great understanding between them but that's where the problems arise because they put too much weight on the silent understanding between them & forget to communicate their actual feelings. I think he thought she fully understood the significance of the original Junior Mint moment (and she clearly DID kind of get it bc she held onto Junior Mint all this time and the bear was really important to her, and everybody knows/recognizes how much she loves Junior Mint, although it's heavily implied at least to me that no one else actually knows how she got him or what he REALLY means).

My book girlies know this, but it comes to light in Conrad's letters that not only does he vividly remember the day he won her the bear, but he also spent $40 (at like 14 years old!!!) trying to win her the bear because he paid attention to her all summer and saw that she badly wanted it and had been eyeing it all summer (he actually says "remember how you used to go over to the ring toss and just stare at the polar bears?"). I think he got confused when Belly got all standoffish about it but also didn't know what to do about his feelings at that point in time (which is why he said that the girl said Junior Mint was the best prize they had. it was easier & less vulnerable than saying "I think I might have romantic feelings for you too and I just spent hours trying to win this for you because I know how much you wanted it and I wanted you to spend time with you") so he didn't try to explain it to Belly & ended up hanging out with ring toss girl that summer as a distraction in a way. But then the present scene...he wanted to remind her of that memory and he wanted her to know he remembered it and that it mattered to him & he wanted her to know he still thinks about her and loves her and wants her back. And Belly is in the mindset she was in in the 2nd book where she still loves him but doesn't want to & is tempted to go back to him but feels like she has to prove a point to herself and everyone else that she is over him and doesn't need him. I also think she spent so long being in love with him with everyone knowing & teasing her about it and it made her feel like it was the child like and immature thing to be with him, so she wants to show that she has "outgrown" him, and she's not a dumb 13 year old kid with a crush anymore.

I think Conrad probably did think the ring toss girl was cute, he was a 14 year old boy so you can't really fault him for being a little interested in her and hanging out with her, and also Belly got upset and he probably didn't understand that he had inadvertently hurt her feelings. He wanted to win her the bear he knew she had been wanting and make her happy, and it backfired (Which probably fed his anxiety and feelings of not being worthy and always fucking up and disappointing people but especially Belly). I think that moment would have been different if Belly had stayed there while he was trying to win her the bear- she made an assumption to start out and ran away without ever actually knowing what really happened (kind of like the prom moment). I think the fact that Conrad still remembered and thought about winning her Junior Mint even 8-9 years later kind of says it all. And the way he boops Junior Mint in the show in season 1...that man knows it was never about the ring toss girl.

Also it just occurred to me that maybe he had spent time noticing the ring toss girl because he had already spent a lot of time noticing Belly go to the ring toss and staring at the polar bears and also maybe he had already spent time trying to win Belly the bear during that summer. ok I'm gonna go cry because that makes it SO MUCH SWEETER.