#still crying inside because we crushed hop's dreams

[awesomeduskangel]

I finished the Sword postgame that I'd been procrastinating on finishing because I didn't want it to end and I am (once again) having feelings 😭❤️

[writersblog20]

Night Terrors

Tom Hiddleston x reader.

Not my gif! Credits to the owner!

Summary: you have a movie night at RDJ’s house with the entire marvel cast and it turns out in a sleepover. You and Tom were very close from the beginning. Everyone knew you found yourself in a hard time and they were always there for you. But when you all fell asleep you were cruelly awakened by a nasty nightmare. Tom tries his best to comfort you.

Warnings: Angst, ptsd (in my experience because everyone experience ptsd differently.), night terrors, passing of a loved one. Age-gap but definitely legal! Reader is about 24. Nudity but not sexual and a lot of comfort

Words: 3,3K

 It was a Saturday night and RDJ invited the whole marvel cast for a nice bbq and a movie night over his house. You were an beginning actress as well and this was your first big role. You did on the other hand directed a lot of small films which gave you an identity on it’s own. People loved the movies that you wrote and directed and loved to see you play in one. You were actually interested in acting as well so you took the opportunity with both hands when Marvel asked you to play in a movie.

You met Tom, Benedict and Sebastian already. They all acted separately in your movies. But the closest connection you had with Tom. You actually developed a huge crush on the British actor but you thought he saw you as a little sister. Not only that but you started working together as well.

Tom would pick you up to go to RDJ’s house together. You heard your doorbell go off and opened the door seeing a smiling Tom. “Hey Tom!” you said excited and he pulled you in a big hug. “Hello love, how are you doing?” he asked you. “I’m trying.” You told him and he gave you a weak smile. “I actually called my godmother today…” you told him. “really? How did it go?” he asked you. “We talked for about an hour and a half. It was very hard. I was becoming emotional but I didn’t want to cry…. Still in my system I guess.” You told him while he listened intently. “I’m so proud of you. I bet it was hard. But you are making so much progress and you’re really trying. You’re so strong and such a strong woman.” He told you giving you a hug. You nuzzled into his sweater. “Thank you Tom.” You told him.

Everyone knew you had a difficult time with the passing of your godfather. You always saw him as your father since your biological dad was a shithead to say nicely. So when he passed it was a big shock for everyone. It was sudden and unexpected. It also triggered your ptsd. You were always very open about mental health but at this moment it was a very hard time for you. The whole cast was there for you but Tom was always there and could read you like an open book. Which scared you as well because you were afraid that he would know about your secret crush on him.

When it happened you were all alone and tried to stay strong for your family like he asked you and so you did. Then came the roll around which he knew about and you promised him you would take him to the premiere. So with the premiere around the corner you felt yourself crumbling down. besides that you never really had time to process everything and try to heal from what happened. So when you were having a big breakdown one day, they all found out what was happening. Tom spend a lot of time with you after that. More than he already had. He was determined to never let you be alone again in one difficult moment.

You got your stuff and your present for RDJ and hopped in the car with Tom. He obviously helping you as the gentleman that he is. You chatted for a while about funny things and you told him you were writing a new script for a movie. “maybe you can read it sometime if you want and let me know what you think?” you asked him carefully. Tom’s heart filled itself with love that you trusted him enough to let him read your new script. “I would love to!” he told you honestly and you smiled while looking at the road.

Once arrived RDJ opened the door and hugged you tightly. You walked into the big house and saw that a lot of the cast was already there and you hugged them all. “oh I brought you something!” you told RDJ. “oh you didn’t have to!” he told you while gripping the present and opening it with a big smile. “can’t come empty handed! They raised me differently” you told him giggling. “You see! You can all take a note from Y/N here!” he told the marvel cast who were laughing. You made him a painting. Ever since he saw how you painted he wanted one and wouldn’t shut up about it so you thought this was the perfect time. “it’s absolutely beautiful y/n” he told you mesmerized by the painting. He pulled you in a big hug. “we’ll find a nice place to hang it up together later.” He told you softly which made you smile.

You all took a seat and started to eat. You all had laughs and sat outside in the evening. His garden was beautiful. There were fairy lights to make it cozy and a fire was burning. You sat contently staring at the fire in silence. Tom noticed that you had gotten more silent and he laid his hand on top of yours, looking at you. You got out of the daze and looked at Tom, immediately meeting his blue eyes. He smiled sweetly at you and took your hand in his now. his thumb caressing the top of your hand. You felt your cheeks heat up. he wasn’t planning on letting your hand go anytime soon.

After an hour you all decided to go inside to watch a movie on his big tv screen. The cast started to bicker over what movie to watch while RDJ tapped you on your shoulder and hinted to walk with him. You walked in the hallway with him and he looked around. “what about that place?” he asked you while holding the painting. He nudged to the end of the hall where everyone could see it. “are you sure?” you giggled and he looked strict at you. “Look what you made! Of course I’m sure!” he told you dramatically which made you giggle. “Then it’s a beautiful place” you both hang the painting on the wall. RDJ took a selfie with you, him and the painting before returning to the group.

You sat next to Tom and Chris E. Tom smiled lovingly at you and softly placed his hand on your knee. There were mattresses laying on the floor where the other half of the cast laid down. RDJ had a very big couch so there was enough space for all of you. You snuggled against Tom who laid his arm around you pulling you closer. It didn’t take long before you grew very tired. The others felt the same, some left to go home like Paul Rudd, Mark R and Paul Bettany since they lived close by. a couple of others could stay in the guestrooms but you rather stay downstairs.

When everyone settled the TV still played some background noise. You were now laying with your back to Tom but turned around. Tom watched you intently, getting his arm a little of you so you could turn. You laid now face to face with Tom and he smiled softly once again at you and kissed the top of your head. Chris E softly petted your hair for relaxation. Tom held you close to him with his arms wrapped around you. You rested your head against his chest and fell into a deep sleep.

~time skip~

You were woken up abruptly by people shaking you awake. You shoot up sweating. Tears filling your eyes once you remembered the nightmare. You were breathing heavily and looked around erratically. Chris E shushed you while Tom held you tightly while rocking you back and forth. You were wet from all the sweating. “hey shs it was a nightmare. You’re okay now.” Chris E told you. Tom placed his lips on the top of your head while keeping a protected grip on you. “You were calling for your godfather.” Chris E told you. Anthony came back from the kitchen with a glass of water and gave it to you. You now saw how concerned they all looked. Seb rested his hand on your knee while his thumb rubbed drew circles. You thanked Anthony but you really didn’t liked all the attention you were getting right now. “sorry for waking you all up.” they chuckled slightly “Don’t worry about it, we’re here for you y/n” Seb said. You pushed the tears away and Tom noticed that you were keeping it all in again. “why don’t we go outside for a minute? I think some fresh air would do you good.” Tom asked you and you nodded.

You got up and whished them a goodnight sleep so they wouldn’t wait up. Tom got a blanket and walked behind you. once outside Tom placed you on a chair and you looked up at the stars feeling the tears slip. He took your hand in his. “what was the dream about?” he asked carefully. You told him about your dream while crying. You tried to let everything out. Once you were done Tom stood up without saying anything and stretched out his hand for you. You looked up questionable with puffy eyes. he gave you a warm smile and you took his hand. RDJ had a sort of bed outside. It was more for the pool but there was a mattress with curtains. You smiled at the thought of how good Tom knew you. You didn’t want to go inside anymore and he seemed to get that. Luckily it wasn’t very cold outside.

You sat down on the lounge bed. Tom pulled you a little back so you both sat against the headboard. “I never knew him, only from the stories you told me and I believe full heartedly that he is so unbelievable proud of you. Of the woman you became and becoming, everything that you did and overcame and still the things you are working on. We can all see that and we all have so much respect for you. You are a role model for a whole lot of people! It’s okay to feel these feelings but you need to keep talking about them.” You felt tears slipping. He wrapped the blanket around himself and then around you which made you scoot closer to him. “he’s watching over you. I’m sure and he’s looking over you with probably the biggest smile.” You both laid down and looked at the stars. “Thank you Tom. For being there for me every time.” He looked at you. “Of course love” you stared at the stars with teary eyes while Tom kept looking at you.

Once you calmed down you said: “Tom, you’re staring.” While keeping your gaze at the stars. He smiled. “you’re more beautiful to look at.” He bluntly told you. You never turned your head faster than in that moment. He just smiled softly at you while you screened his face. He laid his head closer to yours. “do you mean that?” you asked him softly while looking down shyly. “I never say something I don’t mean y/n” you stayed silent in disbelieve. “I eh really like you.” he told you with a blush creeping on his cheek. You looked deeply into his eyes. “I really like you too Tom.” He smiled and came closer until your lips connected. His hand rested on your cheek. He gave you the lead at the moment and you took that opportunity to deepen the kiss. He rolled partly on top of you while leaning on his elbow, his other hand now going to your waist and rubbed with his thumbs your side.

You both pulled back and heard Sebastian and Chris H and E scream “Finally!!!” before going back inside which made you both laugh in embarrassment. You laid down on his chest while Tom kissed the top of your head. “Do you maybe want to be my girlfriend?”  he asked carefully which made you chuckle at the way he asked you, like a teenager in love. “I would like that” you said while lifting your gaze to look up at him and gave him a big kiss on his lips which made Tom sigh through the kiss in containment.

~time skip~

You woke up from clicking. It sounded like someone was taking pictures. You squeezed your eyes shut tight because of the sun but saw Chris H taking pictures along side RDJ. “so we can show your kids once you get them.” RDJ said casually. You chuckled. Tom sighed getting out of his slumber his arm tightened around your middle scooting you closer. “Awa let’s give these lovebirds some time to wake up, we made you both some coffee.” Chris H told you while pointing towards the warm mugs. “Thank you.” You told them giggling a little. Once they left you turned around to face Tom. He still had his eyes closed and your fingers traveled along his facial features. “Good morning love” he told you still with his eyes closed but with a smile. “good morning handsome.” He opened his eyes and smiled lovingly at you while connecting your lips again. You cuddled into his side. “this is nice” you told him. “It really is. Now I don’t mind waking up” he told you which made you chuckle.

Once you both got up you all had breakfast together and decided it was a nice warm day to go swimming. Tom brought you home so you could pick up your stuff and off you went to the beach. You all laid down in the soft sand and chatted away and shared funny stories. You all decided to take a swim. Once in the boys started a water fight. Scarlett sat on the shoulders of Chris E and you were on the shoulder of Tom. You both tried to push each other off but both fell in the process. Now it was the turn of the boys. Sebastian on the shoulders of Chris E and Anthony on the shoulders of Chris H. It took a while but in the end Sebastian fell and Anthony cheered which made you giggle.

You started swimming a little with Tom by your side. You were on his back while he slowly swam back and forth. You got off of his back and put both of your legs around his waist and hugged him tightly. He grabbed your chin to give you a kiss. Once you both got a little tired of swimming you both got out and dried up.

After a nice day at the beach you were tired out. Especially because of the night before. Tom brought you home. “Tom…? Can you please stay with me tonight?” you asked him softly. “of course love, let me grab my stuff and I’ll be back in an hour” he told you and gave you a kiss before you got out of the car.

You in the meanwhile cleaned your house a little and made your bed and took a shower to get all the sand off of you. You were done just in time for Tom to come. You opened the door and you saw that he showered as well. then your sight fell on the bottle of wine he brought and a brown back. “I went to the store and got us some snacks.” You smiled and let him in. He put everything on your kitchen counter. You poured you both a generous amount of wine and plopped on the couch. You put on a movie for you both to watch. After you drank the wine and ate some snacks you became even more tired. “Let’s get you to bed.” Tom told you. He took your hand and turned off all the lights.

You both got ready for bed and got in. “Tom? Can you maybe read to me?” you asked him shyly but he knew his voice calmed you down and it wouldn’t be the first time that he would read for you. “of course sweetheart.” He started to read to you while you laid in his arms and you softly drifted off to fall asleep in yet another night terror.

You sat up suddenly, breathing heavy and once again sweating. Tom softly sat up next to you and rubbed your back. “I’m sorry.” You told him feeling guilty and out of breath. “It’s okay love really. Don’t worry about that I’m here for you” Once you regained a steady breathing he asked you “ Let’s take a shower okay?” you nodded and he took your hand and lead you to your own bathroom. “I’ll wait outside okay?” but the thought of being alone scared you a lot at this moment giving you an anxiety attack. “No Tom please stay.” You begged saying it a little too fast for your own liking. “I’m sorry if you feel comfortable with that.” You told him again and he gave you a soft smile.  You both stripped out of your clothes. “I can keep my underwear on if you’d like.” He told you not trying to make you feel uncomfortable in any situation. “No it’s fine, if you’re okay with it.” you told him and he nodded. He stripped out of his boxers and you out of your underwear.

You looked at each other but at the moment it wasn’t sexual but more for comfort. He stepped in the shower first and took your hand helping you in. you the shower on and Tom massaged your head you turned around and rested your head on his shoulder while he put his arms around you. You started to cry. You felt so safe that you had all the space for your feelings. Tom hushed you while giving kisses on your head. Trying to give you comfort. You stood there for a good while just hugging each other. When you calmed down you both got out and Tom dried you off. “You are absolutely gorgeous.” He told you kissing your shoulder. You looked up at him and you made eye contact. He slowly held your face in his hands and gave you a soft kiss that turned passionately. Before anything could go further you both stopped. He helped you in his shirt and got into bed again.

Everything he did, he did with so much care and love that it was something you’ve never experienced before and it was heavenly. You laid both face to face and just looked at each other. His thumb softly caressing your cheek. You both didn’t have to exchange words, everything said it all. You went with your fingers over his features again while looking in his eyes. It held so much love and adoration that it felt you up with love.  “forever” he said softly “forever you said back and he smiled. It said it all, you were both an open book for each other and it felt like you’ve read that book a hundreds of times and you knew each line. That was how good your connection was. An beautiful antique book with it’s wrinkles and faded lines. Handled with love and care and reading it over and over again never getting tired of the story as the letters danced on the pages.

You looked at Tom and you both kissed each other falling this time in a peaceful sleep in the arms of the man you love the most and he in the arms of the woman he loves the most.

[thefanficmonster]

Stranger In The Crowd

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: None

Genre: FLUFF, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Having recently ended the process of moving, Y/N is rightfully very tired but also very excited for the new chapter of her life. Funnily enough, this new chapter includes a newly formed long distance friendship/crush with a very special person from San Diego.

Requested by @boiled-onionrings Hi darling! Thank you so much for your wonderful request and I’m really sorry you’ve had to wait so long for it to be posted but here it finally is and I hope you enjoy the read! Love, Vy ❤

I let out a heavy sigh, relieved to finally be at home after such a long day of standing around in the Georgia heat with only a thin layer of fabric to protect my eyes and head from the scorching sun. Yeah, anyone who says that tent did well at protecting everyone under it today is nothing but a liar. I was in a short, strapless white summer dress, the fabric of which barely had any weight and consistency to provide heat of its own yet I still damn near melted. Ok, I’ll admit, some of the roasting heat probably came from the energy and force I put into singing the songs of my band’s new album ‘Starting At The End’. 

The mini concert we held in this large open field was meant as an introduction to the city of Savannah where all the band members - myself included - are actually from but we all moved to the West Coast to pursue our music career. And now that we’ve grown, and the majority of us are married, one of us is a father now as well, we’ve decided to return to our hometown. The decision was so spontaneous and was executed so quickly due to no one objecting to it that it still hasn’t me that I’m no longer in LA. The heat isn’t helping my ‘processing’ process but I’ll get to it eventually. Do I miss LA though? Not sure I do - I think I more miss the people I was closer to while I was there.

Suddenly, as if perfectly timed, my phone dings, notifying me that I’ve received a message. I don’t have to look to know it’s from - there’s only one person I actively text and his name is....

C ~ Your virtual buddy Corpse here, making sure you didn’t die of a heatstroke today. If you did indeed survive, just reply to this message, if not....don’t do anything, I guess.

I can’t help but giggle at the sight of the message. I promised Corpse I’d text him after the concert to let him know I was ok, but the even dragged out for longer than anticipated so I’m guessing he got worried.

How cute.

Me ~ Alive and well, but I do feel like a popped tire of an overloaded truck. Hope that’s a visually appealing description

Corpse and I met on the charity livestream Jacksepticeye organized and invited our band to so we could play Among Us with some of the best gamers and streamers on the internet. It was a huge honor and a ton of fun, definitely an event I’d like to repeat in the near future because I had such a good time and I know all my bandmates did too. We all got acquainted and even became official friends with the gamers that were practically our hosts, Corpse becoming the closest friends I’d earn. That livestream happened months ago and we still text just as consistently.

C ~ Oh I know EXACTLY what you mean. Anyway, as to not exhaust you further to force you into typing, how about you send me pictures to sum up your thoughts and emotions and plans for the evening

This is OUR THING trademark, mine and Corpse’s and no one can take it away from us. It’s a significant element of our friendship that enables us both to understand one another when one of us feels the way I described in my message - a popped tire or a deflated balloon. I’m usually the exhausted one - blame the many shows we do and the many meet-and-greets we organize for our lovely fans. It’s the type of exhaustion none of the band members mind at all, but we definitely need some time to recover from it.

As I go to sit down on my couch, the flower crown I’ve been wearing slips off the top of my head, falling on the floor, creating a soft noise that attracts the attention of one of my many cats - Sasha. She’s the youngest and most curious kitty in the family, always protected by the other four - Luna, Cassie, Silver and Lynn. Those four are far lazier and a lot more disinterested in comparison to Sasha who immediately runs over to see what’s fallen.

I smile to myself, taking the flower crown and undoing it to lessen it by a few stems to make it smaller, all the while being watched by the curious Sasha whose interest is rewarded in the end when I put the now adorably tiny flower crown on her head.

While she still hasn’t shaken the thing off I manage to snap a pic which I send to Corpse who opens it mere seconds after it was delivered. 

C ~ Sasha’s pulling off your aesthetic better than you. Sorry, someone had to let you know

I burst out laughing for two reasons - 1.The message itself, damn it! It’s hilarious; 2. Corpse has learnt the name of each one of my cats and never mixes them up - not even Luna and Lynn who look almost identical. That amount of attention to detail is astonishing and very meaningful to me, it genuinely warms my heart and that may or may not be dramatic but it’s definitely not exaggerated.

Me ~ You think I haven’t caught on yet? 

C ~ Well, if it makes you feel any better you pull off my aesthetic better than I do

He’s referring to the e-girl look I did for one show the band had in downtown LA one night. I was drunk and looking forward to trying new things so I improvised the hell out of my outfit but I apparently looked presentable enough to leave a good impression on Corpse despite the pic I sent him being a bit blurry and being a mirror selfie in the bathroom of the very bar we were performing in. It goes without saying that the mirror was dirty too - had a bunch of writing on it which Corpse said only added to the aesthetic. Looking back on it now I kinda agree, and luckily so did the fans in the comments of that same photo when I posted it on Instagram.

Me ~ Means a lot actually. Nowhere near enough to aid the burn of having a cat pull off cottagecore better than I do, but still helps XD

As if sensing that we’re talking about her, Sasha hops on the couch, poking her head over my phone to look down at the screen.

Now this is gonna be golden.

I take a selfie with my phone in my lap, the camera capturing both me and Sasha at a rather unflattering angle which has me losing my mind laughing when I send the picture to Corpse who immediately sends back a string of cry-laughing emojis.

C ~ I can’t tell which one of you is cuter

Me ~ If that was a compliment, I gotta say I appreciate it greatly

C ~ Just telling the truth ;)

It’s times like these that the butterflies in my stomach remind me just why I’ve started catching feelings for this man despite all the distance between us and despite barely knowing him - he knows me more than I know him but I don’t mind it, oddly enough.

I’m fond of our connection and though I sometimes dream of something more, I’m also content with what we already have considering that ‘something more’ seems rather unattainable as of now.

My phone dings again, clearing the fog of thoughts and presenting me with a new message from Corpse.

C ~ Oh, by the way, look what I got....

That message is followed up by a picture of a ticket. A plane ticket to Georgia! 

While I’m still busy stomaching this and dealing with my quickly rising excitement, he sends another message.

C ~ I hope to catch a The Silver Rays concert while I’m there. Heard they had an adorable frontwoman ;)

My breath catches in my throat as a wide grin spreads across my face. The thought of having Corpse so close to me sends those aforementioned butterflies in my stomach into a raving mood and they practically explode my insides with excitement and joy like I’ve never felt it before. I can’t wrap my brain around the fact that we’re about to go from having an entire country between us, to being just some ways away - him in the audience and me on stage without a single clue of who to look for. That’s part of the excitement though, I guess, part of the guessing game that’s gonna make our meeting all the more interesting.

He’ll be a stranger in the crowd and I’ll be a performer on a stage - seemingly two people who have no relation whatsoever. But damn does it go beyond that: No one has to know how hard I’m falling for that stranger in the crowd.

Me ~ I’ve heard so too, can’t confirm it though

If this is gonna be a guessing game, I’ll flip the tables a bit - I won’t take any guesses. I’ll let the answer come to me. I’ll give the first move over to the stranger in the crowd, let’s see what he does.

C ~ I’ll check and let you know, don’t worry

Not worried whatsoever, Corpsie. I’m not worried at all.

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[iguessweallcrazyithinktho]

Inferno dreams

Summary: A 23 year old girl gets the role she's been waiting to get for years. She didn't know until she got on set that she'll be working with her crush Chris. After weeks of growing clothes to each other and falling in love with out the other ones knowledge you and Chris finally express your feeling!

Chris Evans x female! Reader

Warning: fluff, friends to lover AU, implied smut

Masterlist | word count is 1.9k | Chris request are closed until I clean my inbox out | hope you all enjoy this |

Your heart is racing, palms are sweaty, legs are bouncing as you wait for that all important phone call. You've been waiting your whole life to be an actress. Many years of watching your idols on screen and learning from them how to be a good actor was going to be put to the test today. 

After what felt like years your phone rang. You jumped at the sound, quickly picking up the phone. You waited a couple of seconds so that it didn't look as if you were desperate before you picked up the phone.

"Hello." You sounded like you haven't talked in years as you said hello. "Hi, is this y/n?" The voice behind the phone asked. You cleared your throat before you answered yes. There was a brief silence before you heard the voice again. "We'll Miss. Y/l/n you got the role."

You gasped, your hand coming to cover your mouth. "Oh my gosh. No freakin way." The guy on the phone laughed. "Yep you got the role; they're going to need you on set in three days so you can start filming."

You stopped freaking out to say okay, thank you and to hang up the phone. As the call ended you let out a squeal of excitement. You got the role, you finally were an actress.

You felt like crying and screaming at the same time. There were no words to describe how you felt in that moment.

-

Those three days passed bye with flying colors. On the third day you got up nice and early wanting to look like a million bucks. You ate breakfast, had a nice long shower, did light make-up, and dressed up in some pretty decent clothes. You packed a few clothes because you'll be spending about two month on set. 

You left your home around 10am, driving to your new job. The music was cranked up in your car despite it being beginning so early. If people saw you they would've thought you were crazy. You were just super excited.

You arrived on set about an hour later. You parked Your car and got out to grab your luggage. As soon as you shut the trunk a smiling woman with brown hair and a clipboard in her hands, came up beside you. You smiled at her a little confused. "Hi."

"Hi y/l/n, I'm Maria and I'm going to be your assistant. I'll be showing you around and things. Would you like to see your trailer?" She asked in a sweet voice. "You nodded while picking up your two bags. "Lead the way."

Maria led the way to your trailer. When you arrived she opened the door for you and let you walk in. "I'll be back in about an hour so we can go on set and meet the director. Your script is on the couch so you can read it. If you need anything you can just call me."

Maria smiled before she waved bye to you. She shut the trailer door and you took a seat on the couch with a huff. I'm finally here you thought to yourself. You smiled as you picked up the script flipping through the pages. This was going to be fun, you just knew it.

-

You've been reading your script over for an hour when you heard a knock on the door. You rose from the couch and opened the door to see Maria. "Time to go."

You nodded before you stepped out of the trailer and followed her. You both walked a short way to the main set and entered. The place was buzzing with people, it kinda made you nervous but you kept following Marie.

"Here's the director, steven." Maria stopped in front of a man who was talking to someone else. "Oh my lead actress y/n, it's nice to meet you." He stuck out his hand and you happily shook it. "Hi." 

Steven looked over his shoulder flagging someone down. "Y/n I'll like you to meet Chris." You turned to look at Chris who you thought was just a random guy, but when you saw that it was Chris Evans, you gasped slightly. Luckily he didn't catch that and stuck out his hand. "Hi y/n, I heard so much about you."

Holy shit! He knows your name… stay cool.

"Hi Chris." Your hand stayed enveloped for longer than needed which made you pull away as you felt your face heat up. You turned to Maria seeing her smiling, her lips pressed together. She definitely saw what was blossoming.

"Well set starts in a few minutes. While we wait you two can get to know each other. Steven and Maria walked away leaving you two alone. You placed your hand in your pocket, looking down at your feet. "It's very nice to meet you." You Mumbled as you looked up at him before looking back down at your feet. Chris smiled seeing how shy you were. "It's nice to meet you two y/n. I heard this is your first time acting, that's very exciting." 

You laughed, "yeah, it is. I've been waiting to be an actress for a while now." Chris nodded, "well you're here."

You and Chris talked for a while. You both talked like you've known each other for years. Your shyness soon faded and you were full on talking to him. 

Chris was already liking you. Your laugh made him smile harder than he was before, Your voice was soothing, everything about you made him feel good. He wasn't going to deny his crush that was growing. He's never felt this way about a woman.

-

Set was soon called and you and Chris soon started acting together. You loved Chris's acting just as much as he liked yours. Your chemistry was felt by everyone on set, Steven was quite happy about that too.

Around 10pm, after many hours of working, the set was done for the day. You left to go to your trailer. You didn't notice at first but Chris' trailer was beside yours and he was waiting to tell you goodnight.

When you saw him you smiled. "Hi Chris." 

He smiled as he stood up from his trailer steps. "Hi y/n. Um I just wanted to say goodnight to you." He walked up to you placing his hand on your shoulder. "You chuckled softly as you looked at him. "Well goodnight to you too."

Chris winked at you before he walked off to go in his trailer. You did the same. Once you were in your trailer you plopped yourself in the bed with a smile. Yep, this was fun.

-

As the weeks went on you and Chris grew closer and closer to each other. He took you out for breakfast and lunch some days, he always helped you with your script, and he always said goodnight to you. You were falling more and more in love with him every second and it was getting to the point where it was hard to keep it in.

Chris felt the same way. He couldn't help but tell his family about you. He was always so energized when he spoke about you; everyone knew it was a matter of time before he asked you out. 

Scott always teased Chris about it which pissed Chris off but he knew he deserved it for not telling you how he felt

--

You were sitting on the steps of your trailer after a night of filming. Chris was just returning when he saw you. "Hi y/n! Whatcha doing?" He came and sat down beside you. "I can't go to sleep." You said as you looked at him.

Chris nodded, "yeah there's days like that."

The both of you stayed silent for a second before you spoke. "Do you want to go inside my trailer and watch some disney classics?"

Chris eyes widened at your proposal. "Sure." You smiled before you got up and opened the door for you and Chris to walk in. You grabbed your laptop and sat down on the over size bed. Chris stood like a lost puppy, not quite sure what to do. You patted the space beside you, "come on sit."

Chris did as you said, sitting beside you. You started up your disney plus and you and Chris debated on what you'll want to watch. After a couple minutes you both settled on Lilo and Stitch. The movie played quietly as you both laid and watched.

Throughout the whole movie you felt Chris glancing over at you. It made you flustered and shy like the first day you met him. You tried your best to ignore him.

An hour later later the movie ended. "Wow that's great like it was when I was little. What do you think ch-," you stopped mid sentence when you saw Chris out. 

You felt kinda guilty that you brought him over. He was probably tired and still decided to keep you company. Saint was the world to describe him.

You hopped out of bed and placed your laptop on the floor near your luggage. After that you grabbed a throw blanket and draped it over Chris before you crawled in bed and got under the blanket. You kept your distance from him the whole night thinking he wanted it but Chris didn't.

The next morning when you woke up, Your head was buried in his chest and his bulky arms were wrapped around your waist. You frowned as I tried to figure out how you got there. Chris stirred awake as you did. He was very aware you were in his arms.

"Good morning y/n." His morning voice was raspy sending shivers down your spine. "Good morning Chris." Chris chuckled as he looked down at you. You smiled softly at him. Before you could even think straight you placed your lips on his. God they were as soft as you imagined they'll be. 

Chris couldn't help slip his tongue in your mouth. You moaned softly as you cupped his face. The kiss got heated, so heated the clothes were stripped off and love making was made. His body against your body, his moans mixed with yours, and his burning desire to pleasure you was too much to comprehend. He made you feel so good, like you were the only woman in the world. He didn't stop until he pleased you like you should be pleased.

When you both were done he laid down beside you chest rising and falling. You looked over at him seeing a messy haired Chris. "That's so good. I- I have no words." 

Chris chuckled as he looked at you. His massive hands came to cup your cheek. "I wanted to do that for a while now." You smiled as he continued. "I wanted to show you how I felt about you, how happy you make me, and how these past few weeks you changed me." Chris ran his thumb over your cheek bone, looking at you with his baby blue eyes. 

"Yeah I've been wanting to do that too." You ran your fingers in circles over his chest as you tried not to get nervous.

"Y/n." You looked back up at Chris's eyes. "Yes?" 

"I was wondering if you'd be my girlfriend?" He said looking at you. You laughed, "of course you don't even have to ask." You leaned in and kissed him with a squeal. 

You never thought in a million years you would be kissing the one and only Chris Evans but you were a damn you were so happy about it.

*✭˚･ﾟ✧*･ﾟ*✭˚･ﾟ✧*･ﾟ*

I'm working on two request rn!

@chris-butt @princess-evans-addict @patzammit @bval-1 @irespostthingsiwanttoseelater @raveviolet @rynabarnesrogers-reading @enn-j @london-dreamer71 @harrysthiccthighss @captainamerica-is-bae @la-cey @weirdowithnobeardo @lovepeacefood @baby-i-am-fireproof @denisemarieangelina @evans713 @smyfmj @thereisa8ella @rororo06 @keiva1000 @ughitsnic @adriannajackson123 @marvelnaturalock @notyourtypicalrose @dummiesshort @onetwo3000 @hhiggs @omg-mymelaninisbeautiful @a-little-counter-esperanto

[ynscrazylife]

Is it okay to request a vision x Reader where Vision protects her against Wanda getting jealous and angry at the reader? But Wanda was just still in grief over pietro so vision didn't hurt her too much but Reader was surprised that he would even sacrifice himself for her and Vision just says "I just feel you" and reader tears up and kisses him? Cause she understands what he meant? Vdksbksjsjs I love him 💕

Sure!

Touch

Summary: Set not long after Avengers: Age of Ultron. Vision, Y/N’s boyfriend, protects Y/N from Wanda’s wrath, leading to fluff.

Permanent Masterlist: @stephanieromanoff

MCU Masterlist: @procrastinatingsapphictrash @okkulta @sarahp-stan

Request to be on a taglist (or multiple) HERE!

It was no secret within the Avengers team that the newly-appointed Avenger Wanda Maximoff had a crush on the also newly-appointed Avenger Vision. However, there was only one problem with that, and it was that Vision had a girlfriend, Y/N Y/LN, who had been an Avenger for a couple years now. 

No one really said that to Wanda because she was still grieving over her lost brother Pietro, but that didn’t mean she didn’t find out. 

In fact - she did. In one of the worst ways someone could find out, might I add.

Wanda was in the training room, practicing her powers, and Y/N had entered, looking to get a few good punches in at the punching bag. She stopped, though, when she saw the redhead - she wasn’t too older than Wanda was and was hoping she could be friends with her. Maybe now was her chance. 

“Wow, that looks epic,” Y/N commented, slightly in awe of her abilities. 

Wanda jumped, surprised, and unintentionally her powers whipped around to hit Y/N, suddenly giving Wanda a peek into her mind.

What Wanda saw shocked her. Memories dripped in smiles and laughter of various memories of Y/N and Vision head over heels for each other. After a couple moments, Wanda stopped, and stared at Y/N, heartbroken, while Y/N shared back at her, a bit dazed.

“You and Vision are dating?” Wanda asked, her voice cracked.

Y/N opened her mouth but no words came out. She was still trying to make sense of what happened and on one side, she felt a little violated that her memories had been seen, but on the other she understood that Wanda didn’t mean to reach into her memories and spy.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?! Were you all going to let me fall for Vision forever?” Wanda continued, her voice rising, taking a step towards Y/N as her tears threatened to spill.

“We knew you were in pain, Wanda-” Y/N started to try and explain, catching up, but was cut off when Wanda blasted her powers at her and slammed her into the wall. Wanda’s red energy blasts wrapped around Y/N as binds, keeping her in place feet above the floor.

“Do not pity me,” Wanda said, continuing to walk towards Y/N. Her hurt from finding this out was getting the best of her, and she moved her hands, making Y/N yell as pain started to consume her. Wanda tried to be firm in her voice but it was undeniably a little shaky.

Vision, having heard the yell, immediately stopped whatever he was doing and headed towards where he heard it - the training room. The robot practically burst inside and his eyes widened to see Wanda harming his love.

Vision glanced from Wanda, who was angry and crying, to Y/N, who was squirming, trying to get out of the binds, and still in pain.

“Wanda, let her go,” Vision said calmly but with force, trying to defuse the situation verbally.

Wanda didn’t seem to hear him and another cry came from her, which made more of her powers eject towards Y/N. Vision, without thinking, jumped in front to protect his girlfriend, and when Wanda saw him, she got startled and dropped her arms, stopping her powers before they hurt Vision and releasing Y/N.

Vision sent Wanda a small, grateful look and turned his attention to Y/N, who stumbled. Vision immediately gathered her in his arms and secured her before turning around and carrying Y/N to the living room and putting her on the couch.

“Vision . . . ” Y/N said a little weakly, reaching out to take his hand as he sat down next to her. Vision smiled and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close.

“Are you alright, darling? Are you in pain?” He asked very sweetly, his voice filled with warmth.

Y/N shook her head no, burying it in Vision’s shoulder. “Not anymore,” she murmured.

Vision nodded. Despite his concern for her still lingering, he decided not to push her on it because he could tell that she was tired out.

“Vision?” Y/N said after a moment, picking her head up and looking at him in wonder.

Vision hummed, indicating for her to continue, and looked at her like she was the most precious thing in the world - in his eyes, she was. He thought she looked so adorable and cute, like she always, and his heart smiled.

“You jumped in front of me to protect me . . . I just . . . It’s insane to think that someone would do that for me,” Y/N said, her voice quiet but her eyes wide as she let that sink in.

Vision smiled, although a bit sadly because of course he would do anything for  her, he would go to the ends of the world for her, how could she not know that? and ran a hand through his girlfriend's hair in a comforting manner.

 “Well, darling, I suppose . . . I suppose I just feel you,” he said. 

Y/N smiled, titling her head to the side, and leaned forward to press a kiss to his forehead, leaning her head against his shoulder again. They cuddled for a few minutes until Vision remembered something and had an idea. 

“Y/N, didn't you mention the other day that you wanted to show me a movie?” Vision asked. Since he was a robot, he knew what a movie was, but had never actually seen one. 

Y/N sat up, gasping in excitement before giggling, and nodded. “Yes! I’ll get it set up!” That quickly her energy had returned and she hopped up, grabbing the remote and going to Netflix before finding a classic - The Wizard of Oz. 

Vision watched her, a grin on his face. When she came back and the movie started playing, Vision wrapped his arm around her again as they both turned their attention to the movie.

Throughout the movie, Vision had quite a bit of commentary.

“Woah! A lion.”

“So Glinda’s having Dorothy to her dirty work?”

“And the Wizard too! He’s a coward.”

“You should be giving yourself courage, not the lion.”

“Oh. It was a dream?”

Y/N giggled throughout the movie but thoroughly enjoyed it, feeling at home.

[dc41896]

Still

Pairing: EZ ReyesxBlack Reader

⚠️: None, just fluffy fluffness☺️!

Sat on the edge of his full sized bed, your knee bounces unconsciously as you toy with the hem of your boyfriend’s white tee at your thighs, trying to let the sound of the running water from his shower calm your nerves. It was the first time you’d be sleeping over at EZ’s place, and you were a bit nervous.

Not because of the cramped camper, or that he stayed a mere feet from the clubhouse and its multiple adjoining engines that rumbled and revved all day and night as they came and went. For personal reasons, you just hoped you didn’t do anything to mess up the relationship before it even had the chance to really start.

“Y/N?” You slightly jump hearing his smooth yet deep voice making his golden brown eyes turn concerned. With your mind worrying about tonight, you hadn’t even realized EZ had finished his shower and was standing in front of you passing the towel through his dark hair.

“Hm? I’m sorry what did you say?”

“I was asking if you needed anything,” he answers squatting down to place a hand on your knee and stop its bouncing. “Hey if you’re not comfortable I can always drive you home, it’s no problem.”

“No, I’m fine. Really. I-I guess I’m just nervous about messing up something.” Lips curling into that soft, wide smile that always made your heart skip a beat, his free hand takes yours as his thumb gently rubs back and forth against your skin.

“You’ll be fine dulce.” Standing up, he leans in brushing his soft lips against yours before letting them passionately connect while the hand that once held yours moved to caress your cheek.

“Ready?”

“Mhm,” you nod crawling up from your spot at the foot of the bed as he turns out the lamp at his bedside. His tattooed arm securely wrapped around your waist pulls you closer until your head finds his bare chest and leg naturally crosses over his.

“Goodnight,” he lowly whispers kissing the top of your head.

“Goodnight.”

His fingers dragging up and down your back along with the drum of his heartbeat are a soothing enough pair to have your eyelids already drooping feeling relaxed. “Maybe this time will be different,” you thought soon feeling your eyes shut completely and his movements gradually slow.

Your hope would soon be crushed though, as your body seemingly jolted awake and head suddenly rose leaving you out of breath. Luckily, your actions didn’t wake EZ, who was still softly snoring under you. You tried to will yourself back to sleep, but like clockwork every time you felt yourself really begin to drift, your body would display the same reaction leaving you frustrated and on the edge of tears.

This last one being strong enough for EZ to notice making him stir and shift in the squeaky bed.

“Bad dream?,” EZ groggily asks with eyes barely open. “I could feel you jump a couple times.”

“N-No, I’m fine. Just um trying to get comfy.”

“Oh, you need me to move? Switch sides?”

“No, it’s okay.”

From your shaky voice and watching you wipe your eyes in the beam of light breaking through the window landing perfectly across the both of you, he sits up holding your face in his large hands to thumb away the remaining drops of salty water from your skin.

“What’s wrong? Dime.”

“I can’t sleep,” you whisper.

“Don’t cry, that’s okay. Tell me what I can do to help.” It wasn’t the desired result, but his caring nature only makes more tears fall as you become more upset with yourself and why your mind, body, or whatever inside you had to be like this.

“It’s not that simple. Ever since I was young, whenever I’m in a new place it’s like my body or brain won’t let me sleep and I just keep waking up.”

“Oh..like, a comfort thing?,” he asks. You could see the bit of hurt in his eyes that he felt this was all his fault. After your date, he was the one to suggest you stay with him for the night, not quite ready to see you go.

And although you excitedly agreed, now he felt that he might’ve rushed you.

“No, it’s even happened while I was with my parents, so please don’t think it’s anything you’ve done. I’m just the weirdo that can’t sleep.”

“Don’t say that,” he states kissing your temple before sitting up to rest his back against the chipped wall. Patting his chest, you move to situate yourself between his legs pressing your back to his muscular chest while his arms cross in front of yours, holding you close, and cheek rests on the side of your head.

“What’s your funniest memory?”

“EZ you don’t-,”

“Funniest memory dulce,” he repeats kissing your temple once more. A small smile forms on your lips as you think, your hands gently grasping his forearm.

“Me and my friends almost got attacked by a flock of seagulls at the beach once. Pretty sure they had some type of vendetta,” you explain making him chuckle.

“They are a bit aggressive.”

“Your turn Reyes.”

“Alright...when we were kids, Angel and I tried hopping this fence. I got over fine, but he got caught at the top and ended up flashing his underwear to everyone who walked by.”

“What did you do?,” you laugh, leaning back more so on his shoulder to look up at his face.

“There was nothing I could do really but laugh. This guy was nice enough to get him down though. He tried not to laugh but he couldn’t hold it in.”

You two stayed that way the remainder of the night, telling stories that had you both laughing until your cheeks hurt and talking about anything that either of you could think of. At those moments of comfortable silence, your eyes would sometimes shut and you’d begin falling asleep again only to awaken with a jump, making your heart race.

This time though, EZ would hold you a bit tighter as he gently rocked you back and forth whispering in your ear, “Relax, you’re okay. I got you.”

You’re not quite sure how much time had passed, but soon loud knocking and the bright, golden sun shining in your eyes become an unwanted alarm causing both you and your boyfriend to groan as you stretch the best you could in your positions.

“Oye! Wake up sleeping beauty we got places to be!,” Angel shouts banging his fist against the camper door.

“Give me a minute!,” he yells. “Sorry about that, I know you just got to sleep.”

“I did?,” you yawn rubbing your eye.

“For about an hour or so.” Sitting up, a small smile spreads across your lips, proud of yourself that you’d finally been able to sleep and feeling like you were falling even more for the softer Mayan who chose to forfeit sleep to make sure you were okay.

“You want me to drop you off now or when I get back?,” he asks fastening his belt buckle before going to brush his teeth.

“Um actually, if it’s okay, I was thinking I could stay here. Maybe get some more rest,” you shyly smile setting off EZ’s signature one as he finishes at the sink.

If only you knew how you wanting to stay and now being able to sleep comfortably at his place made his heart nearly burst.

“That’s alright with me,” he answers bending down to sweetly capture your lips with his. Calloused, yet soft, hand on the side of your neck and thumb grazing along your jawline.

“Aye you turn deaf overnight or- ohhh now I see what the hold up is,” the older Reyes smirks peeking through the small window to see the both of you shyly pull apart. “Heyyy dulce.”

“Hi Angel,” you laugh waving with one hand while the other shields your eyes from the light outside. Grabbing the nearest item he could find, EZ throws a balled up towel towards his window making Angel flip him off before disappearing to get on his bike.

“I’ll be back in a couple hours. Then we can go eat at that diner you like,” he smiles, thumb tracing just under your bottom lip.

“I’d like that. Now go before you get in trouble, and be careful.”

With a chuckle, he leans in for one last kiss. First on your forehead then your waiting lips he could never seem to get enough of. “Si mi dulce.”

Taglist: @crushed-pink-petals-writes @fumbling-fanfics @honeydulcewrites @honeychicana @lady-olive-oil @themyscxiras @melinda-january @lovelymari4 @maxcullen @literaturefeen @damnitaa @curlyhairclub @plokyu23 @fullofmelaninsarcasmandepression @nunubug99 @felicity-x0 @ellixthea @jojolu @jnk-812 @brwn-sgr @captainsamwlsn @wildfirecracker @nina-sj @iammyownlover @chaneajoyyy @scoop93535 @secretmysteriousperson

If anybody wants to be tagged, has asked to be tagged but don’t see your name, only want to be tagged for certain people I write for (can be found in masterlist), or no longer wish to be tagged just let me know🤓!

[kisskeiji]

1. On your own.

Lost & Found.

WARNINGS: language, mentions of cheating and violence (bokuto still wants to get physical lol), mentions of alcohol (?)

Needless to say, as soon as you arrived at your sister's apartment she bombarded you with questions you didn’t know nor wanted to answer, she understood and let you cry your heart out, even after all that your heart was still heavy inside your chest. When you woke up the following morning you could only describe yourself as a mess; you slept with the same clothes from the night before, your shoes were still on and you didn’t bother to take your makeup off resulting in a trail of mascara stains all over your cheeks. The sheets on your sister's bed were cold and not waking up with Hajime by your side made the knot in your throat come back along with the uneasiness of not being home or feeling safe at all.

You hated it. You hated how vulnerable you were. You hated the weight that was crushing your chest. You hated not being able to express what you felt. You hated how tired you were. You hated yourself for being so weak and for not knowing how to be without him.

And most of all, you hated yourself for not hating him.

You loathed what he did to you and your relationship, but as much as you tried to convince yourself you hated him, you couldn’t. Sure, he broke your heart, but he also owned it. You loved him so much it hurt, but there was no way you two could get past this and act as if any of this never happened, this wasn’t something a long talk and a hug could solve. The thought of it not being a one time thing took over your mind.

What if he cheated when he was studying overseas? How many other girls he slept with the last four years.

‘I’m an idiot’

“Morning.” Your sister entering the room took you out of your train of thoughts “I made breakfast.”

“I'm not hungry.”

“You need to eat.” She said brushing your hair with her hand “Take a shower first.” She got up and walked to her closet to get you some clothes.

“I don’t want to.”

“Don’t care, we are getting your stuff and then we are going home to have lunch with mom. I am not asking, she wants to see you.”

“You called her?” You asked in disbelief. ‘Snitch.’

“I knew you weren’t planning to because you don’t want to worry her, but she can give you better advice than your twenty-six year old sister who has no relationship experience.” She said before throwing a pair of jeans in your direction. You could only groan before getting up and walking to her bathroom. You knew better than arguing with her and deep inside you were thankful, you missed your mom, but going back to your apartment frightened you.

Once you were in the car you dialed Akaashi´s number, ignoring all of Iwaizumi’s texts and calls, he was the last person you wanted to talk to and you wanted to make sure he wasn’t home. Before you could go back to spiraling in your thoughts, Akaashi picked up the phone.

“Y/N?” You heard Akaashi say on the other side of the line.

“Hey, ‘Kaashi.”

“How are you feeling?” It was a dumb question, they both knew and he loudly smacked himself for asking. You chuckled.

“Like shit.” You answered.

“I figured.” You both laughed. “Hey, is that Y/N?” You heard Bokuto “Let me put you on speaker.”

“Hi, Bokuto.”

“Good morning, pretty lady, are you feeling better?” He asked and you heard a loud thud. “Akaashi, what was that for? Y/N-chan, Akaashi just hit me with one of his books!” Bokuto whined and you laughed at him and the way he pronounced Akaashi´s name.

“I’m fine, Bokuto-san, thanks for asking. Can I ask you both a favor?”

“You want me to beat Iwaizumi’s ass? Say less.”

“Bokuto-san.” The younger of the two called in a stern tone.

Once again you laughed at their antics. “Not quite, Bokuto-san. But can you make sure he is not home? I don’t know if he went to work today.”

“You are coming for your stuff?” Akaashi asked.

“Yeah, but I really don’t want to see him right now, and my sister wants to kill him.” You said and looked at your sister who mouthed a ‘damn right’ without looking away from the road.

“That’s the spirit!” The gray haired man said followed by another thud and a whine.

“Count on it, Y/N.”

“Thank you, I’ll see you in a bit.”

“I’ll wait outside for you!” You heard Bokuto before exchanging goodbyes and hanging up.

You reached the apartment complex and spotted Bokuto outside like he promised.

“I called Tanaka and he said he is at the gym, so we are clear.” He said once he reached the car and opened the door for you.

“Good, let’s make it quick and put everything in my trunk.” Your sister said and opened the car trunk to grab some boxes to pack your belongings. The three of you walked inside the complex and took the elevator to meet Akaashi who was waiting at your door.

With a long sigh, you unlocked the door and walked in unsure of what to expect. The air was heavier and again, you felt uneasy to be there and reminisce about what happened the night before.

“I’ll get my clothes and some stuff I have in my room. Can you guys pack my books? Everything on the first three shelfs is mine, and my plants, please be careful with them.” You said and they both got to work while you and your sister headed to your room. Trying to make things even faster, you walked to your closet and grabbed your suitcase from the back of the closet and started throwing all your clothes onto the bed.

“This is not yours.” Your sister announced throwing one of Hajime’s shirts you usually wore to sleep on the floor. You stared at it for a second and started to take out all of the shirts that were mixed in with your clothes. You never noticed how many of his shirts were in your drawers, you always wore his shirts to sleep.

‘No more unlimited pajamas.’ You thought and laughed to yourself.

*

“Hey, can you get my stuff from the bathroom? I’m almost done here.” You said placing a few blouses in a laundry basket since your suitcases were already full.

“Sure thing, I’m dipping his toothbrush in the toilet too.” She said and zipped close the duffle bag she packed your shoes in.

“Please don’t.”

“Can’t hear you.” You heard a splash. “Look what we have here, this cologne looks expensive.”

“Stop touching his stuff.”

“No sympathy for him, stop trying to protect him.” She said peeking from the bathroom door.

“I’m not protecting him, I’m just being mature.” You walked to the bathroom, taking the bottle of cologne away from her and placing it back down. “And I paid for this.”

“Hey girls, we are all set over here.” You heard Bokuto from outside of the room.

“You have anything else you need us to get in the car?” Akaashi asked. You looked around searching for something you could be possibly leaving behind. The pictures on the wall captured your attention for a second.

“Don’t think so, everything else he can keep.” You sighed “Besides, the car is already full.”

“Let’s get out of here then, mom is waiting for us and we have a four hour ride ahead of us.” Your sister said and took the duffel bag and one of your indoor plants and made her way out.

“Well, that’s it.” Bokuto said and closed the trunk of your sister’s car.

“Please, tell us if you need anything, we are one call away.” Akaashi reassured placing his hands on your shoulders.

“Thanks ‘Kaashi, I will.” You hugged both of your friends and hopped in the car “I’ll text you once I get home.”

They waved goodbye and waited for the car to be completely out of sight to walk back inside the building.

*

That afternoon after lunch and a long talk with your mom, you decided to stay at your parents house for the meantime and as long as you needed to find another place near your university. You decided not to tell your father, he was just as hot headed as your sister and you were sure he would kill him if he found out.

In the end your sister was right, your mother always knew what to say and this time was no exception, of course she was going to give Iwaizumi’s mom a call (but you don’t know that) but right now she was worried about how awfully calm you were, of course you were always emotionally intelligent, but was it really healthy for you to keep it all inside?

“Listen dear, I know how you must be feeling right now, there’s no need to conceal it, I also know you want to be the bigger person, but you can´t keep it to yourself forever, it’s not good for you.” She’d said as she poured some freshly brewed tea in your cup.

“I know mom, thank you.” You said and she cupped your cheek with her hand.

“It wasn’t your fault, dear.” She Reassured. “It’s getting late, get ready to sleep, I’ll get your room ready.”

It wasn’t your fault. She was right, but why does it feel the other way around?

You stared at the mirror once again and still couldn’t recognize your reflection. ‘What did you do to me, Hajime?’ You thought as you dried your face.

‘Fuck, I had a shift tonight.’ You totally forgot, after all you haven’t checked your phone since earlier that morning. Ignoring all of your friends and Hajime’s texts asking if you were alright and where you were; you texted your boss, he asked if you were fine too since Iwaizumi went to the bar and was apparently really worried, you could only sigh and tell him you would explain everything tomorrow.

You were exhausted. Your eyelids were heavy with sleep and what seemed to be the beginning of a bad migraine. ‘I’ll just sleep it off.’ You thought to yourself, staring at the ceiling thinking about everything and nothing at the same time. You were still going to see Iwaizumi at college at some point, how are you going to tell your friends? You still had to call your landlord to get the money of the months of rent you paid in advance back.

“I wish this was all a dream.” You muttered burying your face on your pillow. Your phone ringing stopped your train of thoughts, the caller ID displayed Iwaizumi’s name for the hundredth time that day. You still had no energy or will to talk to him. ‘What does he want anyway?’ You let the call go straight to voicemail.

“Y/N” He sighs “I’ve been trying to reach you all day, I know it’s late, I know you hate me”

‘I don’t.’

“But please, I need to know you are okay and that you are safe, I know you must be with your sister but I can’t reach her either. Please, you don’t have to tell me, you can tell Matsukawa or Makki, one of your friends, I don’t care, we are all worried about you. I know you came earlier for your stuff, and that you are not coming back, but please, you have to listen to me.” you could tell how anxious he was “I’m not asking for forgiveness, because I know I don’t deserve it. But I… you deserve an explanation and an apology. I love you, please, call me.”

Without even noticing, tears streamed down your face. ‘Maybe I should talk to him’

You weren’t one to be remorseful, and closure was necessary. Maybe. But not today or tomorrow, you still needed time. You texted your friends and told everyone you were okay and that you were spending a few days at your parents place in Miyagi. After turning your phone off you finally managed to sleep.

*

The days after your arrival to Miyagi were no different, you ran some errands with your mom, went out with your dad and sister and enjoyed your time there, you almost forgot you had to get your life back together. You went back to Tokyo after a week, the first thing you did was talk with your boss and apologize for your absence and explained everything. He was kind enough to switch you to the day shift and promised not to tell Iwaizumi about it if he showed again.

The day shift was alright, the bar was less crowded but still busy. Some people had lunch or shared a drink with their co-workers. Breathing was easier and you felt more at ease working earlier.

“Good evening, what can I get you?” You greeted with a smile as you cleaned the counter.

“Hi, Y/N, right?” She asked.

“That’s me. Do we know each other?” You asked, she seemed familiar but you couldn’t recall where or when you’ve seen her before.

“Something like that, I’m Ito Asui, I’m one of Iwaizumi’s classmates.” She explained.

“Oh.” It’s all you managed to say “You want anything to drink.?” You asked, trying to ease the tension between the two of you.

“Not really, I just needed to talk to you about… the other night.” Asui couldn’t bring herself to look at you in the eye.

“It was you?”

She sighed “Yeah. And I feel awful. I didn’t know he had a girlfriend.”

“How long?” you asked, trying to hold your tears busying yourself with the register.

“A month, maybe, listen he never mentioned he had a girlfriend or anything. We teamed up for our final project with some friends and we flirted for a while and we started going out when we weren’t working on the project.” She started crying, it was obvious that the guilt was eating her alive, you felt bad for her “If I only knew he was taken, this could’ve never happened, it is my fault and I want to apologize.”

“No.” You lowered your head.

“What?”

“It’s not your fault Asui, stop blaming yourself. You didn’t know. I’m sorry you got involved in this mess and for how you must be feeling right now.” you irradiated anger with every word. All the sympathy you felt for Iwaizumi was now gone and the thought of even facing him too.

“Thank you for this, really.” you raised your chin and looked at her in the eye, hers were glossy with tears and guilt, but she managed to show you a weak smile.

“What are you going to do now?” She asked as you poured a glass of water for her.

“I don’t know. Not going back to him, that’s for sure.” You tried to laugh. “I’m probably going to leave.”

“Leave? You are transferring?”

“Yeah.” You sighed unsure of your answer.

“Where to? I heard your parents live in the countryside.” She sipped her water.

“Not sure yet, I have some offers to go abroad.” You cleaned the counter once again as some customers walked in, you greeted them and got ready to fix their drinks.

“That 's amazing! I think it would be best for you to take some time away from here. If you stay you are going to stumble upon him at school.” she said as she played with the rim of her cup and you poured ice inside the shaker.

“Yeah, you are right. I’m talking to my professors and seeing my options, probably choosing somewhere in Europe, I’ve always wanted to travel.” You smiled.

Eventually Asui left, there was nothing else to talk about but you agreed to keep in touch, after all she was the first person outside your family that knew about your plans. It was sad, actually, you weren’t excited to leave since you were doing it to run away from him. It was your senior year, you wanted to spend it with your friends and stay in Tokyo, you were happy here, but you also needed to get away, you couldn’t bare with seeing Iwaizumi everyday, not only at school, you had a lot of friends in common and you didn’t wanted to make everything awkward for them.

‘I’m going to build myself back on my own.’ And if you had to leave to do so, then you were more than ready.

*

Days went by and summer break was over, it was time to go. Akaashi and Bokuto dropped you off at the airport and waited for you to board the plane.

“Passport?” Akaashi asked making sure you were all set.

“Here.” You lifted your right hand and showed your passport.

“Phone?”

“In my bag.” You smiled at him.

“Well, you are good to go.” He smiled back.

“Wait, you forgot something.” Bokuto took a step closer and looked at you.

“What? Oh my god did I left my glasses at home?” You asked confused as you patted across your body looking for them. 

“No, silly, my hug!” He laughed at your confused expression and embraced you. 

After that bone crushing hug Bokuto made you promise to text him everyday even if it was late, and Akaashi nearly cried but he won’t admit it. You waved goodbye one last time before boarding.

Hopefully you could find yourself again in London. ‘This is your new beginning’ you repeated to yourself as you took your seat on the plane.

“Good bye.” You whispered.

*

Later that night, Iwaizumi found himself in front of your sister´s apartment, ringing the bell he stepped back and waited for her to open — or a fist on the nose — after a few seconds the door opened revealing your sister still on her work clothes, leaning on the door frame.

“What do you want?” she asked harshly.

“Is she here? She never really called me and it’s been almost two months, I just want to talk to her but she blocked my number.” He looked at the floor and your sister sighed.

“She is not here.”

“Do you know where she is? she moved to the dorms?” he tripped over his words trying to get an answer.

“She is gone, Iwaizumi.”

“What do you mean? Look I know she hates me but this is not funny.” He was growing anxious.

“Shut up, she doesn’t hate you, you know that’s just not her, and I’m not joking. She left.” Your sister explained one more time.

“Where?” He ran his hand through his hair.

“Not telling. Good night, Iwaizumi.” With that she closed the door leaving Hajime dumbfounded.

‘She left?’ He thought, realization hitting him even harder, he lost you forever, and he is probably never going to see you again.

He was on his own now.

(a/n: hi everyone! first of all THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR ALL THE SUPPORT! <3 i honestly thought i was going to flop with this fic, but all of your comments and feedback encourage me to keep writing, you are all so sweet :( thank you again ilysm. i also want to thank my beta readers once again fore dealing with my illiterate and annoying self. next chapter is going to be a bit longer if everything goes as planned, sorry for making you all hate iwa :( 

also, if anyone is interested to be added to a taglist please tell me! you can comment or send me a message if my ask box is not showing :( i’m still figuring things out here since i was a wattpad type of girl but i’ll try my best <3)

masterlist

taglist: @aonenthusiast

[ttylfedora]

10th March: 14/19

PART THREE PART THREE PART THREEEEEE (you can find parts one and two here)

All of the thanks to @madsholland for going through and correcting my grammar😂

Part Four will be up tomorrow, but this birthday girl needs some sleep! I’m so glad you all have enjoyed this so far. It has absolutely made my day reading the comments. All of the birthday love from me and my birthday twin, Remus🥰

CW: MENTION OF REMUS INJURY

Characters belong to @lumosinlove

Enjoy!!💚

10th March 2014

“Mom, please, I don’t want to do anything big this year.” Remus huffed as he attempted to pull his hoodie over his head, his shoulder jarring as he did so. He willed the tears that threatened to pool in his eyes back down and he battled with the hoodie to take it back off and throw it back over his bed.

“I just think it would be good, even if we just went out for dinner-” Hope started, her heart breaking over how ‘not Remus’ Remus was acting.

“Mom!”

Remus had finally reached his breaking point. His shoulder was in agony; every single one of his hopes and dreams had been crushed; and the last thing he wanted was to potentially bump into any of his teammates at a restaurant.

“Please, just leave me alone! I don’t want to do anything, okay? I just want to be left alone,” he shouted, the tears from earlier finally spilling over. He looked at his mother pleadingly, “please just leave me alone.” It barely came out as a whisper but his mother heard well enough. She decided against saying anything in case the tears that were behind her own eyes spilled over too. She only nodded as she left the bedroom, closing his door behind her.

Remus just stared at the door, guilt overflowing him at the look on Hope’s face. She didn’t deserve that. None of his family deserved the way Remus was treating them. Remus didn’t deserve the way Remus was treating Remus. He brought his hands up to wipe the tears away from his face as he sat down on his bed, resting his shoulder on his knees as he began to properly cry.

He layed back on his bed and stared at the ceiling. When he fell asleep, he wasn’t aware. He wasn’t aware he had even fallen asleep until he felt a small hand shaking his knee.

“Wemus. Wemus, wake up.” Julian whispered. “I have a pwesent for you.” Remus lifted his head slightly to find his younger brother standing at the edge of his bed next to his knees. He sat up as Julian climbed up onto the bed next to him, careful not to crumple the, admittedly poorly wrapped, present he was holding.

Julian held it out to him with all the pride in the world. “Happy Birthday!” the five year old giggled.

“Thanks Jules.” Remus smiled slightly as he took the present. He undid the wrapping, which was actually a tea towel, and placed it behind him, wincing slightly as his shoulder caught. He breathed through the pain, not wanting to make his younger brother aware of it.

Slightly confused, he looked over to Julian as he held a piece of card.

“You have to turn it around!” Julian giggled, jumping up and down on his knees. Remus laughed and turned the card over, revealing a drawing. Julian almost jumped on Remus’s lap as he started pointing to the drawing.

“Look! That’s you, in red and gold because those are your favourite colours,” he pointed to the older figure in the picture, and then moved to point at the smaller figure, “and that’s me!” Julian smiled up at his big brother, who was pretty sure he could feel tears pooling in his eyes once again, but for the first time since his injury, the tears were derived from happiness.

Remus wasn’t aware, however, of his father standing at the door with his phone in his hand, taking a picture of the moment.

10th March 2019

If there was one thing Remus hated more than paperwork, it was paperwork on his birthday. He wanted nothing more than to leave work and curl up on the sofa with a takeaway pizza from Sid’s and a big mug of hot chocolate. He was just finishing up, eager to get going when there was a knock on the door. Remus sighed as he threw his head back. He straightened himself back up as he called the person in.

His breath hitched in his throat as Sirius walked into his office, a bag slung over his shoulder and his hat on his head, allowing his playoff hair to perfectly curl around his ears..

“Hey Cap, what can I do for you?” Remus questioned, attempting to subtly quiet his heartbeat that he was sure the entire stadium could hear.

Sirius shuffled on the spot.

“I uh- my- uhm- my knee is still acting up. Could you have a look at it quickly?” Sirius said quickly. There was nothing wrong with his knee. What was wrong with him was the fact he talked himself into walking into the PT office with the knowledge he was essentially the epitome of perfect health.

Remus swallowed hard.

“Yeah, sure, hop up on the bed and pull your joggers up,” Remus instructed, blissfully unaware of how nervous Sirius was on the inside. It was something Remus always envied about the Captain; his ability to hide his nerves.

Sirius did as instructed. A part of him hoped that he hadn’t actually jinxed himself and there was something wrong with his knee.

Remus looked over it and talked him through a few stretches to ensure his knee was functioning as it should and gave him the all clear.

“It looks all good to me, it could just be your body telling you to slow down a little,” Remus started. Sirius looked up at him as though he had just thrown a million different profanities at his face. “Don’t give me that look, I know it’s playoff season. Just don’t hurt yourself, please, I can’t deal with another Captain injury on my hands.”

“Hey, as long as the Snakes stay in their lane you won’t see much more of me, Fruit Loop,” Sirius retorted. However, part of him hoped he could think up another excuse to come and see the PT.

Remus laughed, thinking the same thing, completely unaware of their shared thoughts.

“Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean.” Remus turned his back to Sirius and started compiling the paperwork together so that he could begin to go home.

“I’ll catch you later, Loops.” Remus looked over his shoulder to find Sirius waving as he walked out of the room. Remus waved back at him and watched the door close, letting out a breath he was unaware he was holding.

Remus looked back at the bed after he had collected his thoughts together a bit more, and on it sat a little box from ‘Flour on Fifth’. Remus walked over, discarding the pieces of paper he was holding onto his desk, and opened the box. Inside it sat his favourite cupcake and a little card. He pulled the card out and turned it over. The scrawl on the back of it was recognisably Sirius’s.

‘Remus,

Happy Birthday! Thankful for you today and everyday!

All the best, Sirius.

P.S. I tried one of these and I can see why they're your favourite. This one’s on me. Enjoy!’

Remus let out a shaky breath. He couldn’t pinpoint when he made Sirius aware of his favourite cupcake or when he told him when his birthday was. Remus felt his cheeks redden again at the thoughtfulness of the Captain; the heat overpowering the dull ache in his heart hurting with the knowledge he would never be able to voice his feelings.

Remus stood there for a few minutes- it could have been hours, really- with the biggest grin stitched onto his face.

He’d remember this small act of kindness for forever.

[astheroid]

Ka-Kacchan 😫💦 (Bakugouwu x reader SMUT 🤯)

Author-chan here!!!!!! I decided to write for my bb Kacchan bc hes just such a cutie >.< hehe anyways ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I walked into the hero association with my long Blonde hair flowing in the wind. “SARAH!!” Deku called, walking over to me. “Baka-Deku, what do you wabt?” I asked, making a cute face. “I heard Kacchan wants youuuuu” he said raising his green puffy eyebrows. “Ka-Kacchan?? Why.. why would he ever want me?” I asked, batting my bright blue eyes in his directuon. “I do not know Sara-chan” he answered, blushing bright red. “I think… he might have a crush on you” I GASPED!! (author’s note: UwU OMGGG IT’S GETTING ~SPICYYYY~) I smiled sweetly at deku before hopping over to Bakugou, flipping my hair over m shoulder. “Ohio K-Kacchan, what do you want?” I said, trying to be tough. He glared at me pomeranian hair sticking up as I touched him. “NOTHING YOU BITCH!!” He yelled, shoving me. I started crying. “BAKA-KUGOU WHY DID YOU DO THAT????” I yelled. He lookd at me. “Idk you’re just ugly.” He said and walked away. I touched my frail wrist and realized it was broken. I went to the doctor’s and got it fixed, mad at Kacchan te whole way. I saw Kacchan after work and went to be mad at him. “WHY DID YOU DO THAT?????” I screamed activating my Ice Quirk. “You’RE JUST AN UGLY STUPID EXTRA!!” Ye glared at me, hands booming. “IF I’M SO UGLU WHY DO YOU LIKE MEEEE?????/?” I yelled in his face. He gasped and tears fell from his eyes. “BAKAaAaAaAAAA HOW DO U KNOW THAT?” He said. “I know because your always mean to me :(“ I pouted. He said “t-th-that’s not t-true BAKA-SARAAH.” I grinned menacingly with my fangs. “Of course it’s true Ba-kacchan” “Don’t call me that” he said, blushing. “Ba-kacchan” I said again, my own cheeks getting red against my pale skin. He grabbed my arm “let’s go to my house and see if you wan’t to call me that again Baka-Sarah-chan”. (author’s note: OMGGGGGGG SMUT COMING SOON!!! TANK U FOR READING THIS FAR!!! Should I make a Deku-chan one next? He’s my lil beann and I wanna write 4 him :3)

UwU SMUTTTTTTTTTT BWLOE THE CUT!!!! Skip if you want but its my favorit part ;3

We arrived at his house and no-one was home, it was just me and Kacchan (author’s note: SPICYYYYYY whatr you gonna do bakacchan O///O). He threw me on his bed and took off his shirt (author’s note: MMM HIS STOMACH I’M DROOLING ;w;). He pushed me down and went to the bathroom, when he came out he had no pants too!! I was surprised by his cream stick poking through his underwear. “Take off ur clothes baka” he huffed face very red. I pouted. “Make me Ba-Kacchan”. He growled ferally nd ripped mt clothes off my body. I gasped, pale Skin getting goosebumps. “There I made you” he said rolling his eyes. I blushed very hard. “Now let me show u what happens when you call me Ba-kacchan >:(“ (autho’rs note: *w* OMGOMGOMGOMG IT’S HAPPENING GUYSSS!! YOUR AUTHOR-CHAN IS SOOOO EXCITED!!!). He took off his Dog undies and I saw… A HUGE DING-DONG!!! He put it inside me and moved quickly. I moaned “OoOoOoOoOoOoOoHhHhHhHHHH Ka-Kacchan… go faster!!” He went faster, grumbling my name. After a bit he took his member out and Spat on me. “That’s why u don’t call me Ba-Kacchan Bitch”. I layed on his bed amd panted; legs too weak to stand up. He put his pants over his meat scepter and grinned at me. “I hope you learned your lesson Baka-Sarah”.

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Smut done :(((( Stay to read the rest tho!!!

I stayed in his house for 30 minutes before leaveing. “B-bye k-k-Kacchan” I stuttered. My legs were still wobbly. I went home and jumped on my bed dreaming of Kacchan railing me again ;). When I woke up I felt really sick and threw up in the bathroom. ‘Oh no……’ I thought. WAS I PREGANTE????? (author’s note: OOHHHHHHHHHHH DRAAAMAAAAA!!! Hehe it gets so exciting) I rushed to the store to buy a test, completely forgetting about my job as a Hero. I gasped at the test. ‘I’m… Perngant??’ I touched my belly. ‘I have Ba-kacchan’s baby in here…” ‘I have to call him’. I called and talked to him on the phone. “K-Kacchan” I stuttered “I got pragnent!” He gasped. “F*ck. Are u gonna keep it?” I gasped. “OF COURSE!!!!! I CAN”T KILL OUR BABY!!!!!!!!!” (author’s note: OMGEEEE THEY’RE FIGHTING 🥺🥺🥺) Kacchan sobbed. “I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY FOR A KID!!” “YOU DON’T NEED TO, I CAN!!!! I DOUN’T NEED YOU ANYWAYS!!!!” I screamed, crying too. He left the call and I cried harder. Idk what to do with a BABY. He came to my house. He crossed his arms madly. “We need to kill the baby.” “NO I CAN’T DO THAT!!” I screamed (author’s note: OoOoOoOoOh THEY’RE GOING THRU IT!!!!!). “Why not????????” He pouted. His hands sparked. “THAT’S MURDER BA-KACCHAN!!!” My long Silky hair whipped around as I yelled up at him. He tried to hit my stomach, but I dodged and Froze him in placee. “DON’T HIT ME BAKA-KUGOU!!!!!!!!” I screamed. “STOP TYRING TO MURDER O U R CHILD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” He huffed. “I DON’T WANT A STUPID KID WITH A WHORE LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!” I gasped loudly. “I’M NOT A WHORE YOU’RE JUST A JERK!!!!!” He burst out of the ice and kissed me. “I don’t want a crusty crotch goblin to ruin our relationship” “He won’t I promise” I said blushing Red and patting my tummy. He sighed loudly. “Ok fine we can keep the cum droplet I just don’t wanna pay” I smiled “OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” “So……. will you marry me?” I gasped suuuper loud “OF COURSE BAKUGOU!!!!! I LOVE U!!!”

TIMESKIP!!!!!!!! UwU I loveeee this story so far; hope u guys like it too ;3

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We ended up having 8 babys. I’m the #1 hero (author’s note: Deku is too baby to be a hero 🥺 I think Strong reader-chan is better for that >:3) and Kacchan is my sidekick. Our kids have the strongst quirks in the world!!!1!!! Ray Andy Mei Akira Bobby David & Deku Jr have explosion-Ice quirks, but Maya (author’s note: Maya is my faaavoriteeee UvU) has A SUPER POWERFUL ICE QUIRK (just like her mama)!!!!!! We lived a very happy nice life after that and had a ton of money!!

BONUS SMUT!!!!!!!!!!!! Hehe I wanted to do a lil extra ~spicy~ something as a reward for reading this far >wO

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Kacchan plugged me up with his thicc Pleasure Pump. I whined “KA-KACCHAN YOU’RE TOO BIG~” He didn’t listen and kept going pounding me into the wall. There was a collar around my neck (author’s note: K!NKYYYYYY~~~~~) and my Face was mushd into the wall. He kept going for quite some time until he hit something in me. I scREAMED “OOOOHHHHHH KACCHAN THAT’S ITtTtTTTTttttTTTT~~~” he grunted and pushed harder. His manhood felt so GOOOOOOD. (author’s note: I kinda want Bakugouwu to @#!% me if u know what i mean ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)) He did it until he Cummed; taking it out so we wouldn’t have more babys.

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HEHEHEHEHEHHEHHEEEE THAT WAS SO HOT *w*. ANYWAYSSS HERE’S AN AUTHOR-CHAN QnA!!!!!!!

Favorite food: BAKUGOU UwU

Favorite character: BBY DEKU!!!! He’s MINE get away Broke Uraraka >:((((

Favorite color: Anything but pink :/ soooo cringy

Favorite Anime: MY HERO OBV!!!

Ships: Me x my hero boysss 🤤 the girls are all dumb and gay is sin :^/

Next chapter????:

NEXT CHAPTER PREVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Deku stared at us jelously. “I-I don’t understand… I…. I really like you Sarah-Chan!!! Why did u have to choose Kacchan 🥺” I looked at him sadly. “He got me pregnent Deku-chan I had toooo” He looked at Bakugou mad. “You took my crush away from me Kacchan…….” Kacchan yelled at him “SHE’S MINE SO BACK OFF BAKA-DEKUUUUU!!!!!!!!” Deku started cryeing and looked at me for help “She was supposed to be MY wife Mean Kacchan :(“ Bakugou laughed. “NO CHANCE LOSER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

The next chapter will be coming out sooooon :D I hope you guys liked!!!!! It’s gonna be so good and even a little smutty *o* n e wAys, catch all you lil reader-chan beans l8ter!!!

Last updated: April 1, 2016

[This is 100% a joke and not a real representation of my writing skills. Happy April Fools ;D]

[nerdypanda3126]

15: “I don’t want to get up — you’re too comfy.” Adrienette or Marichat. Congrats on 100 followers! 🥳

Both? Both. Both is good. lol Hope you like it! ^^

Five Times Marinette Snuggled with Chat Noir (And One Time with Adrien)

Read on Ao3

I.

“Marinette, look! I beat your high…” Chat’s triumphant crow was cut off when he noticed that Marinette had fallen asleep slumped over her textbook.

When he’d gotten there a little earlier, she’d yawned as she told him he was welcome to hang out as long as he kept her awake so she could study. Oops. As he watched, she slumped further over and was in danger of falling out of her chair. He jumped to her side to catch her before she slid to the floor.

“Okay, I think it’s time for bed, Marinette.”

He chuckled as her full body weight fell into him. Yep, she was out cold. Thank goodness he was suited up, or struggling to get her dead weight out of her chair and up to her loft would’ve been a much bigger challenge. He set her down on her bed as gently as he could and she settled onto her side with a contented sigh. He smiled fondly at her. She was always working so hard. He was actually relieved he’d failed at keeping her awake. She deserved some rest.

He shifted on her bed to position himself below the skylight so he could pull himself up without waking her. But before he could, an arm wrapped around his waist and—with a surprising amount of strength—pulled him backwards. His face flamed when she pressed her chest against his back and nuzzled into him before she mumbled something incoherent and sighed again. She was still asleep, then. He breathed a sigh of relief. But until she shifted, or loosened her iron grip on him, he wasn’t going anywhere.

He didn’t intend to fall asleep. But her bed was so much warmer than his, and her breathing was rising and falling so steadily, and her arm was so snugly wrapped around him… his eyes had fluttered closed before he could help it.

II.

He knew instantly something was wrong when his boots hit her balcony and she was out in her chair with a blanket wrapped around her. Before he could say anything, she hid her face and wiped at her eyes hurriedly, sniffling. When she turned back to him, her eyes were red and her smile wobbled.

“Chat, hi.” She wiped at her cheeks again. “Um, what’s up?”

“I think I should be asking you,” he said. “Why were you crying?”

“Crying? No, I wasn’t—this is, well I mean, okay, I was crying, but not because of anything…”

Her eyes met his and he watched her smile falter. He rushed to her side before she broke and gathered her into an awkward sideways hug. She rested her head on his shoulder and he felt her shaking when she started crying silently. He kept watch over her for purple butterflies and smoothed his claws through her hair in what he hoped was a comforting movement.

When her tears finally died down, she shifted sideways and he perched on the side of her chair with her, cradling her against his chest.

“Can I do anything to help?” he asked quietly.

She shook her head against him. “This is enough.”

“Okay.” He squeezed her shoulders and looked up to watch the stars instead. It didn’t take long for her breathing to even out.

When he was sure she was deeply asleep, he carried her inside and tucked her in again, this time making sure to avoid her cuddle reflex. Although he wouldn’t have minded being caught again, if he was honest. When he was back on her balcony, he looked back and noticed she was frowning slightly in her sleep and reaching out to the spot he’d occupied last time. That shouldn’t have made his heart flutter in his chest, and he couldn’t have explained why it most certainly did.

III.

“Chat Noir, you’re not going home like that,” Marinette admonished him.

“I’ll be fine, princess, my house is like a… it’s a hop, skip, and a jump from here.” He waved in the general direction of his house and tried to give her a devilish grin, but in his sleep-deprived state, he was pretty sure it ended up looking more like a woozy half-smile.

“The fact that you just told me that means you’re definitely not okay to go home.”

He would’ve been offended that she was laughing at him if his eyelids weren’t so unbearably heavy. A late night akuma and an early morning photoshoot on top of his already full day wasn’t a great combination, now that he thought about it. Whose idea was that, anyways?

“Pff. Hawkmoth,” he mumbled. “What the heck kind of name is that, anyways? Hawk. Moth. Are you a… are you a hawk or a moth?” He yawned. “Make up your mind, am I right?”

“You’re right.” Marinette was still chuckling at him as she pushed him down to her chaise. His legs gave out surprisingly easy and he fell backwards.

“Whoa. You’re strong.”

“And you’re staying here.” She pushed him back down when he tried to sit up. He didn’t have enough strength to pull himself up again.

“Mmm. Cat nap sounds nice,” he heard himself say, then he smiled as he felt a blanket get draped across him. “You’re nice, too.”

He thought he saw her smiling before his eyelids fluttered decidedly closed.

When he woke up, a little less loopy and a little more well rested, Marinette was snuggled up against him on the chaise. He’d turned to his side while he slept and his arm was wrapped around her waist while she nuzzled into his chest. Her hands were curled up around her chin and she was smiling in her sleep. He let himself relax again and tucked the blanket a little more securely over them both. Best cat nap ever.

IV.

The slick rain on the rooftop, combined with his blurry vision, made him slip and fumble a landing as he ran over the rooftops of Paris. His ankle had twisted; he knew it from the sharp sting he felt every time his left foot landed. But he couldn’t stop. He didn’t know where he was going. Didn’t care. As long as it was away from the mansion. Away from his father and… away from what he’d seen. He’d have to tell Ladybug. They’d have to go after him. But tonight. Tonight he could barely breathe. Could barely see straight.

The hazy lights of Marinette’s balcony registered a minute after he crash landed. He dragged himself over to the corner and curled into a ball, hoping she wasn’t home. Hoping he hadn’t woken her from whatever pleasant dream she’d been having. He hoped it was pleasant. He curled tighter into himself and let himself weep.

The light from her skylight fell across him and he groaned. Of course she was here. Of course she’d heard him as he’d clattered to her roof.

“Chat Noir?” He didn’t miss the note of panic in her voice, but he didn’t move to acknowledge her. Maybe she didn’t know for sure. Maybe she just came to check.

Her hand touched his shoulder, then she was leaning over him, blocking the rain.

“Are you hurt? What’s going on?”

He watched her eyes glance over him, checking for injuries, before they finally fell on his face.

“Oh, kitty,” she whispered. She reached out to touch her fingers to his cheek, and without thinking about it, he leaned into her touch. She blew out a breath and her mood shifted. Became gently authoritative. It flickered something in the back of his mind. A memory. But he didn’t care to try to place it.

“Okay. Come on. Inside. Out of the rain.” She tugged at him, and his hand fell limply from hers. She sighed. “Chat, I’ll carry you if I have to, but we need to get you inside and dried off, okay?”

He sniffed and pulled himself up to sit against her railing. For a moment, he raised his face to the sky and let the rain wash over him. Felt nice. Cold. It ran rivulets through his hair and he realized he was soaked. His ankle was starting to throb. Inside. Right.

He let Marinette pull him to his feet and usher him inside, leaning heavily on her and wincing as the pain of his ankle set in. She sat him on the edge of her bed and disappeared to find towels for him. He hung his head between his knees and clasped his hands around his neck. Deep breaths. Marinette couldn’t protect him if he got akumatized right now. He wasn’t sure he could protect Marinette, either.

When she came back, he sat up and let her fuss over him. Let her fluff his hair with the towel and wipe his face and neck. Her bed where he’d been sitting was soaked through from the runoff of his suit, but she didn’t even seem to notice.

"I shouldn't be here," he whispered. "Marinette, if I'm akumatized…"

"Don't worry about it."

She sounded so sure. So firm. He didn't bother protesting anymore. Instead he fell back onto her bed and stared through the skylight. Watched the rain streak across the glass. At some point she crawled into the bed next to him and he wrapped his arm around her automatically.

She didn't say anything else, or ask him to talk about it. Having her weight against him was comfort enough, and he drifted off along with her.

V.

"Pound it?" Ladybug held out her fist for him and smiled. He bumped his knuckles against hers and turned to vault away. Her hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"Chat, what's the rush? It's over. We won. Don't you want to celebrate?"

His eyes slid over to Hawkmoth, revealed to the world to be his own father, and bile rose to his throat.

"Not really, no." He winced as her face fell. "I mean, I do, or at least I will. There's just someone I want to check on first. Make sure she's okay."

Ladybug's head quirked sideways and her brow furrowed as she tried to understand. "The Miraculous Ladybugs fixed everything."

"I know." He looked away, towards Marinette's balcony. "I just don't think it'll feel real until I see her."

Ladybug's hand fell from his shoulder in silent understanding and she let him vault away.

When he dropped to Marinette's balcony, she was there to meet him. Before she could say anything, he swept her into his arms. Into a bone-crushing bear hug that knocked the breath out of them both. He buried his face in her hair and breathed her in.

"You okay, kitty?" She laughed and the way she held him back almost made him believe she'd been just as worried about him.

"Purrfect," he purred before he sighed. All the tension and adrenaline of the battle left him. It was real. It was over. "And exhausted," he admitted.

"Me, too." She was smiling as she pulled away and led him over to her skylight. When they reached her bed, they collapsed into a sprawl of limbs, and he fell instantly asleep with her scent surrounding him, his arms wrapped entirely around her, happy and home.

VI.

He woke up first. Plagg flew into his vision and they shared the familiar panic. Leave. Hide. The small sleeping form of Marinette practically on top of him was both a blessing and a curse. He didn't want to wake her. But he shook her shoulders gently anyways.

"Marinette, keep your eyes closed. I have to go."

“Nooo…" she groaned as she nuzzled into his neck. "I don’t want to get up—you’re too comfy.”

He chuckled and ran his thumb along her bare arm, delighting in the goosebumps that sprang up under his touch.

"Unless you want me to let the cat out of the bag…"

She paused and he felt her face scrunch against him as she screwed her eyes shut. "It's okay now, though, right?"

Well, that was a loaded question. Yes, he supposed the identity rule was nullified by Hawkmoth's defeat. But he hadn't talked about it yet with Ladybug. And he always thought she'd be the first to know. He shared another look with Plagg, but his kwami just shrugged. Adrien’s choice, then.

As he ran his thumb back up Marinette's arm, he realized that more than anything he wanted this. To touch her without the gloves and run his fingers through her hair. He wanted her to look into his eyes, not the ones covered by Plagg's magic. Hawkmoth was gone. His father was gone. Ladybug would understand.

"Okay.” He blew out a breath. “You can open your eyes."

Her grip around his waist tightened, and she curled into him before she took a deep breath and turned her face towards his. Her eyes were still shut. He chuckled and ran his thumb across her furrowed brow, smoothing out the worried crease that had formed, before he ducked down to press a kiss to her forehead.

"Marinette. It's okay."

She shook her head against him. "Me first." She sighed and clutched his shirt. "Chat, I'm--" she paused and took another deep breath. "I'm Ladybug."

As soon as the words left her mouth, she opened one eye, then the next. Her breath seemed to leave her in a short gasp as her bluebell eyes met his.

"And you're Adrien," she whispered.

[officialwittek]

pt. 5

*texts are fake, but these are mine* 

word count: 1,966

I have to be dreaming right? There’s no way on god’s green earth that he knows. I can’t believe he heard our conversation. I want to die in a hole. I look at the time and it’s nearly 3:00am. so I can’t call my friends since they’re all asleep. I toss and turn for what feels like years before slowly drifting to sleep

--

*the next day*

The rest of the girls decided to join us for lunch as well, I quickly get dressed and knock on Carly’s door to let her know that I’m ready. She comes out almost immediately and we both head to the restaurant in my car. I can tell she knows something is wrong, but she doesn’t ask the entire ride. We spot our other friends in a corner booth in the back and make our way over. We make small talk and lay out our schedules for the day.

“So... Sage, what happened last night?” Natalie asks, a concerned look on her face, our friends look at her in confusion

“Todd got a call from Jeff at like three in the morning. Is everything ok?” she repeats, I make a face and that’s all they need to know

“Oh my god, he knows doesn’t he..” Erin asks, I nod and feel tears welling in my eyes

“Yea.. it fucking sucks man. He basically told me that he only sees me as a friend and that he’s not over his fucking ex-girlfriend who only used him.. And it’s not like we were dating but I was so.. so in love with him” I reply, letting the tears fall as Corinna rubbed my shoulders and my other friends grabbed my hands

“And now I’m afraid things are going to be awkward when we all hang out together. I never ever wanted that, I don’t want anyone to feel like they need to chose between us like children during their parents divorce” I cry, letting all my emotions out, I’ve never been more thankful that we chose a small, quiet restaurant where we’re the only people here

“No, come on. I’m sure if you explain the situation to everyone they would totally understand” Carly explained, the other girls nodding in agreement

“I can’t.. I can’t explain to them. I don’t know how to put it into words and I don’t want them to be mad at Jeff. He’s their friend too and I know how protective everyone can be at times” I rant, they all nod along, their eyebrows furrowed as they think of something else

“Well, to be honest none of us had anything to do today. Why don’t we go back to your apartment and have another girl’s day? Get your mind off things and we’ll get all the takeout and listen to sad music” Erin suggests, I nod and ask Nat to text Mariah

After lunch we head back to the apartment. I feel like 1:00 pm. is an appropriate time to have some vodka right? I mean it’s 5:00 somewhere. I grab the bottle of Titos from my cabinet and pour it into a cup with some sprite and a lime. I made some for the girls and they all took a glass. We browse through Netflix and choose some Disney movies to watch. We started with the Princess and the Frog.

Four movies later and my phone started buzzing. Matt and Zane were asking where we all were because they were bored and David was busy editing and doing other work. I decided to let them come because they were like one of the girls. They showed up with Mariah and more alcohol.

“So baby what happened?” Mariah asks, I told her I wanted to wait until I could tell her in person

I explained the situation to the three of them, Mariah was incredibly irritated at Jeff, Matt and Zane were also pretty upset as well. I also explained how I didn’t want to make things awkward for everyone in the group and they shouldn’t have to feel like they have to choose between the two of us.

We ordered food for everyone and made more drinks. Out of no where Heath came by with Jason and Toddy. I hoped and prayed Jeff wouldn’t show up, not only because I’m heartbroken but because of the embarrassment I would have to feel.

An hour later everyone was pretty drunk except for Jason, Carly, and Erin who decided to stay sober for everyone who will probably need a ride home later. We were all laughing and having a great time, David hauled ass over here when he heard Zane and I were drunk.

“Oh fuck I forgot Ilya is landing in like an hour, who wants to come with me to pick him up?” David asks, Natalie and I raise our hands while everyone decides to stay back and just wait for us

The car ride over was us loudly singing along to David’s music. I brought some alcohol with me since I needed to escape and I know Ilya wants to turn the fuck up.

“Daddy Ilya” I yell, trying to catch his attention, David and Natalie groan from behind me at the horrible nickname

Ilya quickly runs to the Tesla and hops into the passenger seat. We drove back to my apartment while David filmed Ilya in the front drinking the rest of my vodka. Natalie grabs my arm and points the familiar truck in the garage...

... Who the fuck invited Jeff...

“What’s wrong princess peach?” Ilya asks, noticing that I was still in the Tesla

Natalie pulled the two guys away and explained as best as she could and as fast as she could. David and Ilya nodded their heads and walked over to me. I had shaken off my rush of anxiety while they were talking. To be honest, I don’t know if I’m upset with him for rejecting me or if I’m upset that he shows up to my apartment and will either pretend I don’t exist or pretend like nothing happened.

“Fuck it. Ilya, it’s your job to make me drunk as hell. Gimme” I said, taking the bottle from him and chugging the rest and using some leftover Red Bull

I unlock the door and step inside. Todd, Jeff, and Zane are in the living room talking... well Zane isn’t really talking and to be fair I don’t really know if he’s in this realm right now. The girls and Matt are all standing in the kitchen, giving Jeff side glares and talking in hushed voices. I close the door loudly to get everyone’s attention. They all turn to me and burst into smiles when the notice Ilya. They all greet him and I walk over to the side, grabbing a cup and making myself another drink.

“Shots for the boy” Todd yells, we all gather in the kitchen and I make sure to stand as far away from Jeff as possible, 90% out of embarrassment and 10% out of annoyance and anxiety

The ones who were drinking take shots and we all start catching up with Ilya. He’s telling us stories about work, and things he’s done with Deema. After a few minutes of catching up, the boys went to the parking lot to film some bits in David’s car. The girls gave me THE look and we went to my room and locked the door. Suzy listened while also keeping an ear out for them so there isn’t a repeat of the other night.

“I love Jeff, he’s one of my good friends.. but what the fuck was his thought process before coming here?” Carly asked, annoyed that not even 24 hours after he rejects me he shows up to my place

“Guys, it’s ok. I know this was supposed to be girls night but it turned into a hangout with everyone. And I’ll get over this eventually, I’ll be fine” I say, the room goes silent, even Suzy knows I’m definitely bullshitting

“I know you’re trying to make yourself feel better and trying to comfort us so we don’t worry about you. But babe... before lunch we didn’t know you were in LOVE love with him. Sure he didn’t know about your feelings, but at the same time I think a part of him had to know that the flirtationship between the two of you would’ve ended with someone catching feelings. It sucks that it has to be you. Please just allow yourself to be honest about how you feel. It sucks, but the sooner you confront your emotions the sooner you can start healing” Natalie said, I stare at her with my mouth ajar

“That’s a whole bible verse baby” I reply, feeling a lot better with this girl time but Suzy gives us a signal that the boys are back

We go to the living room and joke around for a few more minutes. After that everyone packs their things, and right when I’m about to go back in my room to get ready for bed I noticed Jeff lingering around a little bit. I shrug it off and enter my room.

“Hey..” a voice says, I freeze and immediately feel all kinds of emotions rise up, just one word and I’m already sobering up

“What do you want Jeff?” I ask, turning around and seeing him slumped over in my doorway

“I just wanted to check in” he replies, I sigh and sit on my bed

“Listen, I know we’re still friends and I know we don’t want to make things awkward for everyone, but for the sake of me and what I need, I would please like some time away from you. I’m really sorry, but I need to heal, I didn’t just have some middle school crush on you man.” “You don’t need to explain anything to me Sage” Jeff cuts me off but I shake my head and pat the space next to me so he can sit

“I’m in love with you. I wrote songs about you, I started craving your touch, your attention. I still loved you at your worse. Believe me, I wanted to make a move but I had no guarantee that you were going to love me back. And now I know, at the end of the day I’ll never be her” I reply, Jeff immediately knew who I was talking about, Ava

Ava and Jeff were together for a few short months, but believe me when I say this was like walking through a dumpster fire on a unicycle that was also on fire. It was clear to everyone from the start that Ava was with him s imply because he was slowly gaining popularity and well... his looks. Long story short apparently they got into a huge fight one night and she admitted that she was only using him for her own gain. It was a touchy time for all of us and Jeff, we told him what we thought and eventually found out (through our fans on insta who are little detectives) and he didn’t want to hear it.

“I should go. I’ll give you your time..” he says quietly, I nod and walk him to the door

After he leaves I slide my back down the door and pull my knees to my chest. I just lost my best friend because I couldn’t keep my dumbass mouth shut. Emotions come rushing through me and I can’t help but cry. I want nothing more than to scream and just crawl into a hole right now. After letting myself accept the sadness I got up and went back to my room. It’s time for me to start moving on.. or at least trying to.

[blackkwidowed]

a reminder

Requested: 

Hi! I absolutely love your Nat x Reader stories, OOOF. Can I request where the reader is an Idol (singer and hardcore dancer) and the reader is at dance practice at the avengers compound. Then when the Reader goes to their shared room, they get into an argument because of not spending time with each other and then it leads to reallyyyy hot sex where Nat is extreme sub. Reader is also an Avenger with abs and muscle. (girl on girl) THANKS DOLL!

Summary: Natasha perhaps appreciates bad ideas too much. 

Rating: E. Filthy smut. Sub!Nat (my fave *swoon*). Uhhh spanking, The Strap, light dirty talk, light choking. Nat’s a size queen. Slight daddy kink but not realllyyy. Up to interpretation. Sorry.

Word Count: 2,401

I’m so sorry this is filth. It’s thirsting hours (send me smut requests) and i am h word

To say you enjoyed the attention was perhaps a little narcissistic, but when you’d been working on your dreams for so long, success was something you were grateful for, more than anything. You were humble about it, and you were quite widely known for that quality. 

The last year or so had been your best professionally, with the release of an album and too many performances to count. It had been thrilling, every minute of it. 

But now, you were tired. 

Tired, because keeping all of that up full time as well as working on super secret stuff in Stark Tower, was exhausting. 

You kept it all balanced at first, but you’d been away a lot recently and you’re starting to think Natasha is growing less fond of being apart from you. Admittedly, you hated it too, but you also knew how happy Natasha has and always will be for you. 

You’re thinking about it while you finish up your practice for the week, a promise to Natasha that since you hadn’t seen each other much the last few weeks, you’d spend some time together. You miss her every day. Sometimes she gets the chance to come with you, but with how demanding her role is too, it makes everything a little more difficult. 

You gather your things and call it a day, riding the elevator straight to your shared room with Natasha. You hope she’s waiting for you already, you hope she’s missed you as much as you had missed her. 

“Nat?” You call, kicking the door shut behind you. 

She emerges from the bathroom, freshly showered and dressed. “Hi, baby. You done?” 

“Hey, you,” you grin with a nod. “All done.”

“Good.” You don't miss the way her eyes linger on your biceps, slightly sleek with sweat from practice. A blush stains her cheeks and she moves to kiss you, fingers playing at the hem of your tank top. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, Natasha.” You pull her into a hug and God, that feeling of home and comfort is indescribable, unable to compare to anything else. “I have a meeting tomorrow afternoon but it should be over quickly, then I’m all yours.” 

You feel her sigh and your heart drops to your stomach. The noise alone screams this is about to get ugly. 

“We never spend time together.” She states, pulling away from the hug and looking at you, her expression sad more than anything else. 

You frown sympathetically at her with a nod. “I know. Things have been crazy lately. I’m sorry, Nat.” 

She runs a hand through her hair, shutting her eyes and sighing again. “I know, I just thought you’d finally spend a weekend with me instead of being all over the place with work.” 

You raise an eyebrow. “You know that’s selfish.” 

“Is it?” 

“Yes! My work is important, too. I can’t help it.” You shrug. “You work too, a lot, might I add. Don’t be a fucking hypocrite, Natalia.” 

She shoots you a look, but you don’t back down. How could you when she was being a little bit unreasonable.

“I just. I miss you. Feels like we don’t have enough time anymore. I mean, when was the last time we had sex?” 

You roll your eyes. “Is that what this is about? That you haven’t been fucked in a few weeks?” 

Natasha huffs and shakes her head. “No, I was just trying to make a point.” 

“Really? Because I can certainly change that.” 

She eyes you curiously, noting a change in your expression. You stand defensively, shoulders broad but still beautifully feminine, raised up a little in rising anger. You always look incredibly sexy like that, and she can’t help but let her mind run. 

“Don’t.” Natasha whispers. 

“Maybe you’re right,” you smirk at her, stepping forward and raising a hand to her cheek. You run your thumb across it, relishing in the growing warmth beneath it. “That isn’t the best way to solve a fight.” 

She shakes her head, staring intently at you, searching for an answer in your expression. You put on such a good façade that even Natasha can’t read you sometimes. 

“Definitely not,” she agrees. “We shouldn't.”

It’s barely even a second that passes, but your hands find the back of her neck and you pull her closer, leaning down to crush your mouth to hers and press your tongue against her lips. 

She doesn’t hesitate to kiss you back of course, but she’s disappointed when you pull away, the hands that initially brushed your waist now pinned above her head as she’s slammed against the wall. 

“Don’t fucking touch me.” You hum in her ear. Your free hand pins Natasha’s hips to the wall behind her. You feel her shiver and you grin, sinking your teeth into her neck and sucking harshly. You feel the vibration of a moan in her throat and you shove a thigh between her legs. “And don’t you dare move your hips.”

Natasha does try to stop the whimper threatening to fall, but the assertiveness in your voice and the tightening of the hand on her hip, fingers pressing into the flesh hard enough to bruise, makes it impossible and it slips out. 

With another nip at her neck, you step back and leave her slouched against the wall. You don’t fail to notice the way she squeezes her thighs together at your next order. “Strip. Now.” 

Natasha nods and does as she’s told, standing completely naked in front of you under your hungry gaze.  

“On the bed.”

Natasha just smirks, her own hands running up her stomach to her breasts. You bite your lip and shake your head at her. 

“On the bed, now, Natalia.” 

“Yes, daddy.” 

You release an animalistic noise in your throat, deep and slightly threatening. Natasha almost lets you win at this game when she hears it.

You grab Natasha’s hips as she strolls past you to lay on the bed, forcing her to her knees to bend her over one side of the bed. You adjust her so you can press against her ass. Your hand runs across her lower back, before lowering and delivering a slap.

“Jesus,” she yelps in surprise, the harsh sting causing a flood between her thighs. “More.”

“Yeah?” You hum, fisting her hair in your free hand. You use more force the next time you do it, and more after that progressively. By the time you’re satisfied with how obvious your marks on her ass are, she’s a whimpering mess beneath you. “Naughty girl. You gonna behave for me now?”

She nods quickly, frantic and desperate for whatever is about to come next. 

“Hands and knees.” You order. Your voice is heavy and thick with lust, Natasha can’t handle herself. 

She scrambles to meet your request and you kneel behind her again, running a hand over her ass softly this time to soothe it a little. You run your fingertips down the back of her thighs. God, you can feel her trembling, you can see it. You glance down at the bed sheets from where she was bent over the bed before and you tut, loud. The sheet is soaked from where she was pressed against it, the slaps to her ass evidently doing more than you thought. 

“Dirty girl, look at the mess you made,” you chuckle, glancing back down at where she’s raised her ass up before you. Her thighs are slick, she’s so fucking ready to be taken that you can’t believe it. “Such a messy little slut. You just can’t control yourself, can you?” 

“Mmf.” She moans at your words and you grin to yourself because dammit you’ve got her slick and ruined and moaning for you without even touching her. 

“Spread your legs.” You deliver a light slap to the back of one thigh, running your hand back up to sink a finger inside her without a warning. “Just like that. Good girl. That’s it.” 

She drops her head and groans, hips pushing back to take your finger deeper. She needs more. Well, in reality you know what she really needs from you right now is something else, something bigger. But you’ll make her wait for that. 

You add another finger, sinking deep and curling perfectly. She whines and moans your name quietly, the sound forcing you to drive deeper inside her. Your thumb moves to circle her clit and she cries out, tightening around your fingers in a plea for more. 

She’s stunning like this, spread out and sweaty and begging for more. 

With the addition of a third finger, you thrust hard. The pressure on her clit is wonderful, and you know she’s close already. She whimpers, fingers grabbing at the sheets and balling them in her fists. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” 

A dark smile paints your face and you fuck into her harder, speeding up the circling and the pressure on her clit and she comes with a cry of your name, hips bucking erratically. 

Pulling your fingers out, you reach around and slip them into her hot mouth. She groans around them, sucking them clean and clenching her thighs together. 

You kiss her shoulder and hop off the bed, heading to that special drawer you share with Natasha. You can hear her breath hitch as she watches your every move, not moving from her position on her hands and knees. Such a good girl. 

You’ve put the harness on so many times you may as well start packing with it, and at the mere thought you make a mental note for later. Natasha would definitely like it if you packed for her. You contemplate with sizes for a moment before picking up the biggest one, the need to fill her up and split her open and show her who’s in charge becoming overwhelming, to say the least. 

When you return to the bed, her thighs are shaking in anticipation and you shudder, the thought of being so deep and so thick inside her ruining you and setting you alight. 

“On your back. I want to watch you come for me.” 

Natasha does as she’s told, turning over and laying back against the pillows. Her legs are already open for you and you crawl between them, leaning over her to kiss her slowly. She hesitates to touch you, still following your rule from earlier. 

You pull away and move to take a hard nipple into your mouth. “You can touch, sweetheart.”

She breathes relief and her fingers sink and tangle through your hair, pulling you up to kiss her again. She bites at your bottom lip and groans. 

You know she can’t wait any longer and you reach down to grasp the base of the toy, guiding it through her folds slowly, brushing her clit. She whimpers, bucks her hips, eyes pleading for you to just fuck her.

“Hush, baby,” you whisper, placing a kiss below her ear. “Shhh.”

She gasps, mouth falling open as you press the toy to her cunt, slipping the tip inside as her legs part further to accommodate the stretch. The toy is big. Not unrealistic in size, but definitely well above average. 

You pull out and she whines. Placing a soft kiss to her cheek, you push in again, further this time, a little faster. You know she can take the stretch, you’re desperate to see it happen, but teasing her is near amusing, so much so you can’t resist. 

You continue to push deeper, your hips eventually meeting hers and you groan. She’s completely full of you, stretched around that cock like it’s what she knows best. The feeling of being inside her like this is like nothing else. 

“Please move your hips,” she murmurs, begging. “Please, Y/N.”

“Okay, baby,” you smile, kissing over her chest. “Okay.” 

You pull out almost all the way, just leaving the tip inside her, and you thrust back in, faster than before, a little harder. A low, raspy groan forms in her throat and fingers dig into the muscles in your back, clawing and scratching for support. You growl in her ear, “harder.” 

You can feel the smirk against your neck as she bites, scratching down your back with more force as your thrusts speed up, setting a delicious pace as you fuck into her. 

You slow your thrusts a little so you can grasp at her legs, hooking her thighs over your shoulders and speeding up again.

“Oh fuck,” she damn near screams, the new angle surprising her pleasantly. “Fuck me harder.”

You smirk and obey, your hips moving at an incredible force just to keep her greed at bay. You’re struggling to move as she clenches around the toy, your thumb circling her clit. “So tight. Can barely move.” 

She whines and scratches harder at your back. You’re certain she’s leaving marks and you can’t wait to see the bright crescent shapes littering your skin when you wake up in the morning, the aftermath of sex with Natasha being almost just as exciting as the act. 

“I’m close,” she warns. A devilish smirk appears on your lips and she reads it immediately. “Don’t make me say it.” 

“Say it, pretty girl.” You command. “Say it or you don’t get to come.” 

She huffs and you get a new idea, reaching up to wrap your fingers around her throat. Natasha can’t help it now, keening under the rough touch. 

“Please, Y/N.” She gives in. “Please can I come?” 

“Mhmm, come for me.” Your lips find hers, an attempt to stop the screams coming from her which you know you’re gonna get complaints about from the rest of the team come the morning. 

She comes again with a breathy whimper of your name, her nails raking down your back so hard you hiss in pain. You’d be stupid to stop fucking her so you don’t, forcing her to come again right after and she screams, your hand still around her throat. 

“Oh my God,” she mutters. It’s broken, raspy, she can’t really talk properly considering how hard she just came and you love it. “Don’t tell me you’re done.” 

“Nope.” You smirk, pulling out, and you flip her so she’s straddling your hips. You pat your thighs and grab the base of the toy to hold it steady. “You’re gonna fuck yourself on this toy while I watch.”

[dakogutin]

nightmares and cuddles

thank you to @swottypotter​ for hosting this comfort mini-fest! and to my beta @windywings who helped me get into the mind of a ten year-old hehe

9/27 prompt: gratitude

summary: harry thanks moomy and dadfoot for being brave with him

word count: 2.1k

ao3 link

---

A blinding flash of green light. Screaming— a woman’s. Deafening explosion then a piercing ring as everything turns dark once more… Forehead burning…

Harry woke up in cold sweat, panting. He felt adrenaline coursing through his veins as he sat up, hands subconsciously running through his untameable wild hair. The silence made his thoughts yell louder and the darkness felt eerily inappropriate to his turbulent feelings.

This wasn’t new; the nightmares, the insomnia, the constant panic in his restless mind alerting him that Voldemort was by his bedroom door— a forceful pull back to consciousness. Sleep has been a challenge for Harry, he’s set the bar so low that sometimes he forgets it’s not normal to wake up crying in the night at all.

That doesn’t mean it gets easier each time.

Harry hugged his knees tight, cursing himself through harsh sobs for not being brave enough to face his demons alone. Everyone tells him that both his parents were brave, so why wasn’t he?

The worst part is, he doesn’t even understand why the vivid flashes of weird images in his dream cause him to fall apart this quickly. He just feels embarrassed. Stupid. Mad— in both definitions.

It was getting more and more difficult to breathe as he refused to let his cries out; the lump in his throat obstructing his air flow as it simultaneously intercepted with his continuous sobs. Harry sounded like he was choking through air but at the same time felt like he was drowning in it.

He pulled his blanket up to his chin and looked to his window, contemplating on whether or not he should move to open it, when he heard the doorknob slowly click open, the sound shattering the silence of the room… 

Harry jolted and an involuntary yelp escaped his restricted throat. Instantly, warm but strong hands wrapped around his apparently trembling self, gently holding him in place and stroking his back in a soothing manner.

“Breathe, Harry…” The voice said. “Come on, do it with me.” A deep inhale followed and Harry felt his body slowly relax as he focused on mimicking the action.

More minutes passed until Harry finally felt calm enough to snuggle into the soft but firm arms around him. He opened his eyes and saw locks of black hair by the person’s shoulders and felt guilt replace the momentary ease in his stomach.

“Padfoot, did I wake you? I’m so sorry…” He rubbed his eyes from the stale tears there.

To his surprise, Sirius huffed a laugh. “Nah, Moony woke me up.” Harry felt the hand resting on his back still its movements. “But I’m kinda glad he did.”

“Why?”

Sirius was quiet for a while, like he was mulling over his answer. “So you didn’t have to go through this alone.” he said simply.

Harry knew those words meant more than they suggested. After all, Sirius only hinted about his own past, never really giving Harry the full picture. Harry wanted to finally ask about it, but a concern persisted in his mind. He leaned back to face Sirius properly, “Why did Moony wake you up? Is he all right?”

Sirius broke into a soft smile before fiddling with Harry’s disheveled duvet. “You really are your parents’ child, Harry. Just like them you’re uncommonly kind. I went here for you yet you go asking about others as soon as you can.”

For a second Harry felt conflicted about this comment. The looming thought of him not being able to live up to his parents’ braveness suddenly entered his mind once more. “No, of course I am thankful you’re here. It’s just that… well, with the moon just yesterday, I couldn’t help but wonder…” Harry couldn’t finish this sentence as he found himself too distracted with Sirius who was shaking his head.

“Listen, kid, I don’t mean it that way.” He grinned, ruffling Harry’s unkempt hair. Then he sighed, looking more forlorn this time. “We— er, couldn’t sleep too, you see.”

“Is he still awake?” Harry blurted, eyes scanning around Sirius’ features in the dark.

Sirius already scooped Harry in his arms and stood up. “Let’s go wake him up if he isn’t still. Merlin knows it’s time for my revenge.”

“Are you sure it’ll be okay?” Harry asked tentatively, gripping onto Sirius’ shoulder.

He scoffed. “As long as it’s us. You know Moony can’t hate us— even if he tried. We’re irresistible like that, Prongslet.” Sirius winked.

And for the first time that night, Harry cracked a smile.

--

Sirius glanced behind at Harry, a sly grin etched on his face. Harry put a finger to his smiling lips, shushing his godfather. At this, Sirius placed a finger over his own lips, as if scolding himself as well. Harry quietly giggled before Sirius carefully opened the bedroom door where Remus rested.

Together they tiptoed to the rising and falling lump of sheets on one side of the wide bed, only his tawny mess of hair was visible. But as they approached, stealthily avoiding the creakier floorboards, a startling grunt sounded from under the sheets.

Sirius hastily carried Harry to sit on the bed and spoke, “I present you this offering! Please don’t impair upon me your wrath for disturbing your slumber.” They snickered as Sirius also hopped on the mattress, rocking the bed slightly as he laid beside Remus with Harry right in the middle.

Remus simply opened the blanket with his arm for Harry to settle inside, the younger boy quickly complied, feeling himself immediately comforted by the warmth around him. Harry felt his forgotten drowsiness washing over him.

After a period of silence, Harry heard Sirius softly speak. “Hey, what about me?” He couldn’t help but chuckle at this.

“What’d you think, Harry? Should we invite the gaudy nitwit inside our cave?” Though facing away, Harry can hear the grin in Remus’ slurred words.

“Sorry Padfoot, I don’t think you’ve earned your place yet.”

Harry knew it was all in good fun but he was too soft on Sirius after calming him down from his earlier ordeal, he told this to Remus who pulled down the blankets, revealing a giant black dog where Sirius previously sat.

“What do you mean? What happened?” Remus sat up, piercing eyes steady on Harry.

“I’m fine now.” Harry chewed his bottom lip. 

Remus looked unconvinced but acquiesced, sighing. “I’m glad Padfoot could be there for you then.”

At Remus’ reassuring smile, Harry felt this newfound courage to open up more about it. “It’s just the same nightmare again.” He then felt a cold nose press to his arm. Harry scratched the dog’s neck then fully wrapped his arms around Padfoot, burying his face in the soft shampoo-smelling fur.

“Do you want to talk about it, pup?” came Remus’ voice beside him as he felt a gentle hand rest on his back, it reminded him of Sirius’ soothing pats earlier. 

Harry doesn’t know what it was about Remus that makes it so easy to want to talk to him. Maybe it was the underlying desire to want to be comforted; that while Sirius’ presence always inspires him to be brave, Remus’ presence is more on reassurance— telling him that he doesn’t have to be brave all the time. He’s never been more thankful they balance each other so well and that he was blessed with both of them all to himself.

As quick as that gratifying thought occurred, he felt an unsettling churn in his gut.

He turned his head so his face was visible to his other godfather. “Is it selfish that I sometimes forget my parents?” 

Harry sat curious as silence hung in the air. He sat up to face Remus and felt the familiar gentle incentive of being vulnerable. He was aware this was a rather sensitive topic but he wasn’t planning on backing out of it now that they’re willing to engage.

“You have to understand, Harry…” Remus began, “Sirius and I always bring up your parents because we miss them so, so much. It’s cruel that we got to spend so much time with them while you so little.” He patted Harry’s cheek. “It’s perfectly forgivable if you sometimes… forget. Moments you shared with them are ever so scarce, Harry, it’d be quite impossible to keep holding on to them all your life.”

Harry sniffed, indignant not to cry twice this night. Just then, he felt Padfoot gradually shift back into Sirius behind him. 

“You’re not selfish for feeling too happy to think about what you’ve lost. Remember that.” said Sirius.

Remus gave an approving smile to Sirius before sighing wistfully. “We feel guilty about it too, Harry.”

“About my mum and dad?” Harry asked softly. This part about his parents was new. Neither of them deliberately bring up the events after they graduated so needless to say, Harry’s interest was piqued.

They both nodded then Sirius replied, “We talk about them a lot because you’re a living reminder of them, pup. It’s just uncanny.” He smiled, shrugging.

Harry smiled back.

Remus chimed in, “Look, we know we will never fill their shoes in your life—”

“No that’s the thing…” Harry interrupted.

Both his godfathers looked taken aback by the sudden loudness of his voice but waited for him to continue.

“When I think of parents, I just now think of you two.” He stared intently at the ruffled duvet. “I can’t help but feel like these nightmares are punishments for it.” Harry felt Sirius pull him into a crushing hug and heard shuffling before feeling Remus join them.

Remus was first to pull apart and maybe it was the dim lighting but his eyes appeared to be glistening. He then heard Sirius behind him. “You are not to be blamed for anything, Harry. You hear me?” The ten year-old turned to glance at his speaking godfather and nodded.

“I’m sorry about these nightmares Harry.” Remus says. “But you shouldn’t think of them as punishments. They’re nothing more but bad memories. It has absolutely nothing to do with your relationship with Lily and James, alright?” He tilted his head to level with Harry’s gaze under his ducked head.

“And besides,” Sirius spoke. “Who says you’re limited to just one pair of parents?” he grinned.

Harry hung his arms around their necks. “Thank you.” He mumbled, pulling their heads together, feeling their cheeks press against his own. Harry poured all of his profound gratitude through his tight grip before pulling away and beaming at them.

A thumb swiped his cheek and Harry realised he had apparently failed to keep his tears from flowing until then as he looked up to Remus smiling softly at him.

“Well, I’d say you telling us that we’re nearly good enough replacements for your parents is the highest form of compliment in my life so far. And this is coming from me, who got voted Witch Weekly’s most charming smile of the year — and I was still a student!” Sirius beamed.

Remus rolled his eyes as he leaned in for a whisper. “Still lost to Gilderoy Lockhart, though.” He then made his voice louder, positioning to lie back down. “Come on, let’s get some sleep.”

Harry giggled. He was about to make a move to head back to his room but Remus was already making space for him in between them on the wide bed.

Sirius narrowed his eyes at Remus. “Just this once I won’t say anything to that since I’d rather savour every last moment we can sleep with Harry still here.” He then shifted into a lying position with them.

“Damn right.” Remus mumbled.

Harry furrowed his eyebrows at this. “What does that mean?”

“Hogwarts, Prongslet. This is your last year before you finally become an official student there after all.” Sirius replied, yawning. “Couldn’t wait for you to become our little prodigy.”

“Sirius.” Remus said warningly but was simply met with a lazy chuckle.

That’s right, Harry mused. Soon, he would be surrounded by other magical children. He suddenly wondered how different his life would’ve been if he were raised away from the Wizarding World, but then he just couldn’t— and that was all because of Sirius and Remus. Harry felt overwhelmed by this relief.

“Moony?” He called to the darkness.

“Hmm?” came his response.

“Padfoot?” Harry called once more.

“I’m here.”

“Thank you.”

Harry doesn’t know which of them did it, but there was a kiss near his scar and he felt his cheeks strain from him grinning so much that night. Not quite what he expected since being woken up, but undoubtedly the best turn of events since.

[marlahey]

(and I'm feeling like) it was only ever you

a little voice fic pairings/characters: bess/samuel, general ensemble, ella the pupper being loved the most warnings: language, excessive sexual tension episode tags: fills in some of many gaps between 1.08 sea change and 1.09 sing what I can’t say cause I got wine drunk instead of finishing this before the finale as planned. +post-finale rating/warnings: explicit. read: resolved sexual tension aka les sexy times.  lyrical title courtesy of: part of me – by the coast (watch their fanvid set to this song and prepare to cry)  notes: so @brilligbraelig told me there was no fluffy fic in the tag, which– sorry. we’ve been in sad time hours for WEEKS and I blame the writers for never giving bess a moment’s peace. I’ve never really been one for cavity-inducing sweetness, not because I don’t love some pure joy, but as a writer I’m always a little more interested in the messier moments that just enough longing brings. if the question is ‘how many times do bess and samuel need to share a bed?’ the answer is yes.   this is for the samuel and bess protection squad on twitter (join us!) for being the coolest group of people ever throughout this wild ride, and also for @missgoalie75 and her love of colton’s bedroom eyes.  p.s: sometimes I ignore capitalization rules at will because of the vibe. 

*

bess is tired.

saint c’s is quiet tonight; al shoos her away from the bar with a stern, surprisingly fatherly firmness and hands her a tray of shots. she blinks at him. there aren’t any parties of four left. he points at samuel, prisha, and benny loitering at the back of the club until she finishes. bess doesn’t follow. al sighs. “go have one with your friends on me, okay kid? i swear, watching you stress out sometimes is gonna give me an ulcer before my next birthday.”  bess stammers a thank you and walks off with the alcohol before he can change his mind. she should apologize, she thinks. he’s been nothing but kind to her despite all the ways in which bess is hardly employee of the month right now. she should start an apology tour at the table, where prisha’s head is thrown back with laughter at something benny is saying, his hands outspread. these people are too good to her and she doesn’t deserve it, sometimes.  samuel notices her first (like always it seems), tracking her progress across the room. he tilts his head, a silent okay? and she moves her mouth in an approximation of a smile. his own lips quirk, like he’s trying to smother a laugh. she should be annoyed; she’s just grateful they aren’t fighting anymore— or worse yet, that it’s weird.  they still haven’t talked about that night. samuel seems perfectly content to pretend it never happened, except for the way he touches her with so much more ease than before— like he no longer has to hesitate before he’s pulling her in, taking her hand, squeezing her shoulder or the bend of her elbow in a way that’s more reassuring than bess can really describe.  maybe there’s a song in there somewhere.  “special delivery,” she announces at the approach. “drink fast, before al regrets giving us these.”  “my man, my man,” benny croons. “we love you boss!” he calls, twisting to find al rolling his eyes from behind the register. the shots clink on the tabletop. bess hesitates, just a second, before leaning in to toast prisha. samuel’s eyes meet hers again over the rim of his glass. she tosses her head back before she can overthink any of it. “anyone want another?”  benny and prisha grin; samuel shakes his head. bess does the mental math back to her last meal. one more certainly wouldn’t tip her over, but she’d be a fool not to recognize her own unsettledness. she springs for second shelf tequila; al smacks her hand away from the limes she’d cut herself not two hours ago.  “no reaching over, you know that.” the closing porter pours and dishes lime and salt with disinterested, immaculate practice. bess presses an extra five into his hand and gets a silent tap on the inside of her wrist in thanks. she’s not normally into the whole process of tequila, but benny enjoys it. something silly in bess hopes that the bursting sting of lime will just wash all her chaos away. by the time she’s tilted her head back down a second time, samuel’s eyes are sliding away. her throat is curiously warmer than liquor normally manages. it feels like she’s caught him at something.  “earth to bess!”  “hmm?”  prisha looks amused, damn her. “you up for it?” “up for what?” benny’s smile is equally conspiratory.  “dancing?” her first instinct is god, no. she and prisha haven’t gone dancing in what feels like years— bess still has a fake ID from the one and only time they snuck into a club at 19 years old, skipping the bar entirely for the pulsing beat of the dance floor. but she deserves this, doesn’t she? after everything? everyone’s looking at her now, probably expecting her to say no (samuel’s definitely expecting her to say no), and maybe bess needs another shot after all because, “sure.” tumbles out of her mouth before she can stop it. prisha and benny high five. samuel’s muted surprise is oddly delightful; bess wants to keep pulling it out of him, suddenly. “you coming too?” she asks. it’s not supposed to be a challenge but he raises one eyebrow as though bess had just asked him to duel. “well i’d be lame if I said no now, wouldn’t i?” that settled, bess excuses herself to grab her things from the back room. when she returns, benny is chatting with their night porter as he divides tips. she has to swallow an anxious lump before she can walk over.  “hey.” “hey.” he returns her tentative smile and she hates herself. “ready to go?” “i’m sorry,” bess blurts. “about the other night. i was so awful to you and you were just—” “bess, hey.” benny’s hands land on her shoulders. “don’t worry about it, okay? i know you have a lot going on right now.” “that’s not an excuse,” she insists. “you’re just being a good friend and a great manager and i shouldn’t have bit your head off for...” for not letting me give up. shame locks the words in her throat. how is it that she was the first person to let go of her own dream? bess has to take a deep breath. “i’m just really sorry.” he just looks at her for a long moment.  “if i forgive you,” benny begins gently, “will you forgive yourself?” the question feels like a sucker punch.  “cause i do, bess.” she can’t remember the last time one of her dearest friends was so serious. “i forgive you, and you gotta forgive yourself now cause we got work to do, yeah?” good god, do not cry. “okay.”  “okay.” benny pulls her into a hug, squeezing tight. “we got you girl, alright? i told you, we’re in this together.” those are familiar words. bess lets them wash over her. how had she forgotten? where had she let herself fall that her friends couldn’t pull her back into the light?  “c’mon.” bess accepts her saint c’s envelope with a grateful smile and benny steers her out of the club, his arm around her shoulders. “there’s fun to be had tonight.” “let’s go, bess!”  she lets prisha drag her forward, laughing despite herself and looping her arm through her best friend’s as they head out into the warm night air.  “where the heck are those boys?” prisha asks at the next corner. benny and samuel of course, are following at a more sedated pace to her one track mind. bess catches samuel’s eye and he smiles in that crooked, amused sort of way she hasn’t seen in ages— not since they shot more love, it feels like. relief is such a strange feeling for the moment, but there it is.  * bess isn’t tired anymore. she has no idea when she became such a homebody (though louie’s social worker may thoughts) but her exhaustion from the day seems to disappear the moment the bass finds a home behind her ribs. prisha presses a tiny glass into her hand and bess doesn’t think.  the vodka sears on the way down. it makes her gasp a little, like a livewire shock to the system. bess can only look up to see samuel wave from the bar before benny’s dragging her onto the floor; she loses sight of him in the crush of bodies and the pulse of the music carries her away.  samuel’s still there, some two or three songs later. just before they lock eyes, bess notices something very serious in his expression, something she can’t put into words fast enough, that draws a strange shiver from the base of her spine.  then he smiles, familiar laugh lines and narrowed eyes, and it’s gone.  bess remembers the way he’d so easily coaxed her into a silly dance set to their own music. have things gotten so strange between them that they could never go back there? not if she has anything to say about it. “I’m not drunk enough yet,” he objects, but his fingers close around hers even as he says it and she knows she’s won. samuel follows her so easily back to benny and prisha– like he’d follow her anywhere maybe, if she asked, and then suddenly bess is the one not quite drunk enough—  and then the beat pulls them in again.  it’s silly at first, just like before. at one point samuel and benny do the chicken dance to a hip-hop song and bess thinks she might die with laughter. she presses against prisha, hips and shoulders. her best friend spins her out; bess nearly stumbles but samuel is there, catching her by the elbows, drawing her in with that same teasing smile that had eased her nerves on that warm summer afternoon. she can see the memory of it reflected in his eyes. bess wants to fall into it headfirst. she steps closer just as samuel pulls her in; her hand lands on the back of his neck; his fingertips slip under the hem of her top and brush the shy skin of her hip.  samuel pauses, like a silent question, until bess coaxes his body back into the swaying rhythm with her own. her head feels heady, her body overwarm almost, but bess doesn’t want to stop because there it is again, that serious look— bess wants— “dance, dance, dance is my lung—”  “fuck no!” the moment—or whatever that was—grinds to a halt. samuel laughs so hard that she can feel his shoulders shaking. for several seconds they just look at each other, then over at benny who’s having the time of his life, and then bess is doubling over too.  samuel leans close to be heard over the din. “drink?” his breath brushes her ear and bess tries not to shiver, nodding enthusiastically in a vain attempt to cover for herself. they’ve lost prisha and benny to the worst song ever, so samuel keeps a firm grip on her hand as they snake their way back to the bar.  there must be some kind of special on shots tonight. bess can only stare at a bartender pouring no less than twelve in a perfect row for a huge group of women. one is wearing a tiara and white sash. that trying not to laugh smile tilts samuel’s mouth while they wait their turn. the sardine pack of people presses them together from hip to shoulder but he doesn’t seem to mind. the bar curves around in a skinny oval, drinks being served on either side. as servers slide back and forth, bess notices a guy looking at her from across the way. staring, more like it. the glint in his eyes makes her stomach turn. before bess can glare, turn away, or even shudder, samuel’s arm slides around her. his fingertips trace the curves of her rings on the bartop— affectionate, possessive almost. bess turns her head and samuel winks before leaning forward to touch their foreheads together. “pretend i just told you something hilarious.” his mouth hovering over hers is almost too distracting— his free hand pinches her side to help her along and giggles jump out. bess doesn’t resist when samuel tightens his grip and pulls her closer against him. he presses his mouth to her temple just above her ear. “he’s gone.” bess does shudder now, though for a different reason altogether. “thanks.” samuel just squeezes her once before releasing her. their shots arrive finally, amber liquid glowing strangely in the light.  “still good?” he asks, and bess nods firmly. “still good.” she meets his eyes as she brings the shot to her mouth. samuel is still looking at her when she puts the glass back down. inside her, it seems. “c’mon.” he says. samuel looks almost fond now. bess blinks; a trick of the light? is she that tipsy already? “we’d better go find those two.” she just takes his hand and follows.  * bess is... well. she’s not sober.  benny had waved goodbye from an uber outside the club. they’d made it three quarters of the way to the subway station before ananya had called, quickly devolving into an impassioned conversation and prish too, vanished into a cab and promising to call when she got to her— girlfriend’s? house.  “have fun you two!”  and now: “i’m fine, sam.”  his mouth twitches. “don’t think so, b.”  yikes, she hates that. bess rolls her eyes, pointing at her station stairway. “you’re literally going in the opposite direction. it’s like...” she has to look at their cross streets and do the math. “eight stops. at the most.” samuel nods. “all about figure eights. love an even number. let’s go.”  bess knows she should just let this go and stop being so stubborn. but something in her just can’t be stopped. samuel sighs, dragging her by the elbow across the sidewalk, out of the way of a clearly aggrieved businessman who disappears down the steps.  “bess. just tell me something.” it’s hard to meet his eyes, intent as they are. “would you let prisha take the train home by herself tonight? if you were going... I dunno, home with me?”  her stomach flips, surprising, terrifying, thrillingly pleasant. it’s all the shots.  samuel’s ears go pink under the glow of the streetlight. “you know what i mean.” she’s stubbornly quiet; he ducks his head, refusing to be deterred. “bess.” “ugh, no. of course not!” “because you think she can’t take care of herself?” bess rolls her eyes. “she’s my best friend, you know that. it’s just what you do.” “right.” she hates the way samuel’s looking at her now, the way he had when he’d laid all her fears out bare in the close space of his apartment: so certain and so kind. “so why do you think i’d let you take the train home alone?” for a moment, she can only stare. maybe it’s the alcohol, but samuel has never quite looked so vulnerable. bess doesn’t have the right words (maybe there aren’t any) so she just drags him forward by the shoulders. samuel exhales sharply, a faint laugh in her ear, but he wraps both his arms tight around her— an embrace that somehow feels more intimate than their pretence from hours before. bess endeavours not to think about it too much. “c’mon bestie,” she says when she pulls back. samuel does laugh fully this time, wide enough to show his teeth. bess thinks back to the night of their first gig, the sound of his valerie chasing hers in echoes. it’s a wonder anyone’s more stubborn that she is.  samuel ushers her down the stairs with a sweep of his arm and bess laughs too. *   bess loves her dog. she’d convinced samuel he should probably come in for water, or tea, maybe an advil. ella had poked her head out from bess’ room and when she turns around from her perusal of the fridge, bess finds samuel fully sitting on the floor, ella laying between his legs, stroking her head. “who’s my sweetest girl?” he coos.  her heart something funny inside her chest. samuel looks up, his obvious joy so bright in the dim light of the kitchen and bess is nearly choked with the possibility that she’d nearly pushed him too far away to ever see it again.  “bess,” he says, his cheeks dimpling, “her ears are so soft. like, they’re the softest thing i’ve maybe ever felt in my life?”  wonder of wonders.  she can only nod in emphatic agreement. how many shots have they had?  “you’re lucky,” samuel continues, still making ella’s night by never stopping in his affection. bess’ eyes get stuck on his hands, the motion of his fingertips and the turns of his wrists. “my parents never let us have pets and my building doesn’t allow them either.”  “you know ella would love if you came over and pet her all the time.” she gets that muted surprise again, which melts into something bess isn’t sure how to name.  “would you like that, el? hmm?” he leans down to kiss the top of the dog’s head. “wanna spend more time with uncle samuel?” how is it that her most loyal companion is somehow more intimate with samuel than bess is? and why on earth would she ever have a thought like that? “so,” she says, maybe a bit too high-pitched for her own liking (ella looks up at her and bess wants to glare), “we have water, tea, popsicles, half a bottle of jack.” samuel laughs and shakes his head. “i thought we were sobering up?” bess shrugs. “so, popsicle?” he laughs again and it warms her inexplicably all the way to her toes.  they have water, following ella into bess’ room, toeing out of their shoes when she jumps onto the bed. the dog puts her head on samuel’s lap and stares balefully up at him until he resumes his gentle stroking. bess leans back against her wall. she’s looking at ella and pretending she can’t feel the heat of samuel’s gaze on her face. if she thinks too hard about it, bess remembers wishing she could share a moment like this with someone else. she doesn’t regret anything that lead her here, but something in her is too afraid to meet samuel’s eye, like he’d be able to read the truth of that in her face and that she’d have somehow ruined tonight, this quiet moment of warmth and contentment. she leans her head on his shoulder and he turns his cheek into her hair. when bess finally looks up, samuel’s face is vey close.  is he looking at her mouth? is she leaning?  “are you drunk, bess?” he asks softly. she stops. considers. “yes. you?” samuel’s smile is a little rueful. he nods. “i should go.” bess understands. it’s late. they’re tired and inebriated. he has to go all the way back to his. they almost... and yet she says, “stay.”  he blinks. “what?”  this might be a terrible idea. “stay.” “but—” she rolls her eyes. “what makes you think i’d let you go home alone either?” the surprise is plain now. he looks that almost-vulnerable again. bess is oddly satisfied. “are you sure?” it’s strangely hard to keep his eye even as she points out, “we’re fine, right?” he nods again, a little slower. “and it’s not like we’ve never shared a bed.” when bess finally manages it, samuel’s gaze is very soft. “true.” and just when she thinks he’s going to refuse her still, he says, “okay. thanks.” how do you tell someone out that you just don’t want to be alone out loud?  thankfully samuel doesn’t make her voice it. he just smiles as bess gathers something approximating pyjamas and crosses the room. “sorry i don’t have anything that would fit you,” (he snorts and she’s warmed) “but you know, make yourself comfortable however. come get a toothbrush from under the sink.” and so that’s how they end up side-by-side in the cramped bathroom of her and prisha’s apartment, brushing their teeth. samuel makes faces at her in the mirror and it should be strange, to be t-shirt and shorts/boxers open with him. but he’s seen down into the root of who she is, so isn’t all this less? he’s humming something familiar as she washes her face, catching her surprised reflection.  “it’s yours.” bess casts her mind back. “from–” “that first night, yeah.” she nearly drops her face towel. bess has never shown him that song. samuel shakes his head with a chuckle, a familiar you’re a weirdo. “it would be just like you to play something that gets eight bars stuck in my head for months and never sing it again.” “i...” bess can’t pinpoint a reason besides her own fear, like a karmic penance for one of the most humiliating nights of her life. “i can’t believe you remember.” there’s a truth in his eyes that neither of them are willing to admit they can see.  “wanna work on it?” she asks impulsively, determined now to redraw a better memory, “maybe tomorrow?” samuel’s grin is so wide it’s almost hard to take in all at once. “this mean you’re gonna actually do that open mic?” bess shrugs. she needs to escape this tiny room all of a sudden. “maybe.” he doesn’t push her further and she’s grateful. samuel hesitates at the edge of her bed as bess pulls up the cover.  “oh my god, just get in the bed samuel.” and he does. their knees touch. bess turns out the light but there’s still just enough to see him looking at her. drunkenness has made her warm and sleepy.  “what?” “for the record,” he says, “i know what i think of you.” it feels like they’re teetering on an edge. “cool grandpa?” they laugh so hard that ella jumps from the foot of the bed. samuel looks so fond that bess doesn’t know what to do with herself. “yeah. that’s it.” “night samuel,” she whispers.  “night bess.” * (she wakes up before the sun, tangled up in him.  for once, rather than overthink it, bess just closes her eyes and goes back to sleep.) * bess can’t stop smiling. before she could even look at samuel after getting offstage, benny had lifted her off her feet and proceeded to all but bulldoze everyone in the club to get her in front of jeremy’s record label contact. could he tell that she’d just been kissed within an inch of her life? it feels like it’s written all over her face. bess can barely remember what she said, but his personal contact card is currently burning a whole though her purse. al buys them a round. (she finds ethan lingering in the back. what he says to her is somehow a surprise and not both at once. what she says to him, in the end, feels long overdue.) prisha insists everyone come back to their place to celebrate, and they pile into ubers. louie exalts her as a true artist the entire ride and even phil seems impressed. true to form though, he’s a roledex of weather facts as bess and prisha frantically pull out every candle or flashlight in the apartment; their lights flicker ominiously every so often as the storm beats down their windows. benny puts a playlist together and tries to order pizza. by some miracle, it actually arrives; everyone pools together for a 150% tip. so it feels like ages before bess looks up to find samuel leaning against the alcove of her living room, watching as louie begins a spirited debate on the best numbers in hamilton.  bess nods her head toward the door of her bedroom. she’s expecting him to make a silly face with his eyebrows or hesitate, but samuel’s mouth just curves up on one side, like that’s all he’s allowing himself, and follows. “for the record,” he says as the sounds of the party fade a little behind them, “the answer will always be satisfied. no contest.” god, how had she never seen him before? her bedside lamp is still working. bess fishes out a pale white whale from childhood, one that changes colour as you tap. she grins at samuel, who’s leaning against her closed door and smiling like he’s not even sure what to make of her.  “you’re incredible, you know that?” her face heats, pride and embarrassment both at once. “so are you. i can’t believe we got through that song.” “all you, bess.”  she wants to roll her eyes, but refrains. “the electric was a great idea.” samuel’s eyes drop when he smiles; the familiar humility in it reminds bess of the reason she wanted to talk to him in the first place.  “i know what you did tonight. before you showed up.” he looks up then, a little sharply. samuel’s always had a good poker face but bess can see it still, that guarded look. “what did i do, bess?” saying it out loud makes her feel like she’s in a movie. bess steps forward. “you told ethan to come. for me.” “are you upset?” “no. i just want to understand why.” samuel’s gaze is as steady as it’s ever been. “i just want you to be happy.”  she feels unraveled, somehow.  “then why did you...” even in the poor light, he flushes. “why did you kiss me?” samuel looks at the floor, then back at bess. her heart beats in double time. “he didn’t show, or so I thought. and I didn’t want to...” he laughs lightly, almost at himself. “throw away my shot. I guess I wasn’t really expecting you to—” try to press him into the wall? “to kiss me back, or even what that might mean, but I wanted to show you, or tell you that—” she’s close enough to touch him now. samuel’s hands cup her elbows, very gently, like he needs to ground himself. but he looks bess right in the eye. “even if you didn’t want me, i’d choose you first. every time.”  her heart free-falls.  “bess.” he squeezes a little, catching her eyes. how long have they been standing in this moment of after? “please say something.” “i told him we couldn’t work,” she says in a rush. “and i don’t even know if it was really because you and I—” bess stumbles but samuel hangs on, his grip on her unwavering, “but i think part of me always knew it was just...like, a fantasy? we barely even knew each other and i always hated myself a little for being that girl trying to steal someone else’s partner and i wasn’t dealing with any of my shit until—” samuel just waits. the realization feels too big, but there’s no going back now. “until i met you.” he looks almost stricken. bess lets out a strange, wondrous kind of laugh. she puts her hand on samuel’s chest. she’s the one who needs steadying, now. he draws her closer without looking away from her face, like he’s helpless to it.  bess can’t remember the last time she felt so sure of anything. all those those expressions that always felt hidden in his eyes seem so plain, now: surprise, fear, hope. “i choose you, samuel. though i probably don’t even deserve to.”  she can see his adam’s apple bob as he swallows. samuel’s hand brushes her hair back away from her face, tracking the curve of her ear. just before she’s about to freak out, he asks, “are you drunk, bess?” she nearly laughs. “no. are you drunk, samuel?” he shakes his head. she understands that serious look, now. it’s wanting. he wants her.  samuel goes to pull her the rest of the way in— “bess!”  louie’s voice and a loud knock on the door springs them apart. the lights go out.  “bess, we’re going now. and the lights are out. do you have a source of light in there? are you coming to say goodbye?” samuel lets out a long, low “fuck.” she has to clap her hand over her mouth. his nearly silent laugh ghosts over her skin as he presses his face into the curve of her neck.  (samuel kisses her there, just once, but it’s enough that her knees tremble a little and she can feel the shape of his smile too.)  “i’ll be right out!” bess calls to her brother. his shadow moves away from the door. hysterical giggles shake her shoulders. samuel’s hands slide up to hold her face. “do you wanna—” “come home with me.” she can barely make out his features in the dark (except for the want) but bess’ stomach drops anyway. the irony of no electricity is funny when she feels like sparks might burst from beneath her skin.  “okay.” * bess is deliriously happy. samuel puts down his guitar and barely lets the door close before he’s pressing bess against it with both hands. his palms are heavy and warm on her hipbones; bess wants to rock up against him but there’s a certain thrill in it, how strong he seems.  she has no idea the last time she was kissed like this.  despite how fierce it feels, samuel lets her lead. he doesn’t open his mouth until she does, touches his tongue tentatively against hers at first pass, tugs so gently on her lip with his teeth until she makes a noise like a whimper.  she should tell him maybe, that samuel made her completely forget herself, back in the alcove at saint c’s. but then bess just lets her hands find their way back into his now slightly damp hair. she’ll just relive it instead. she scrapes her nails over his scalp and samuel’s breath comes up short; it returns in something that sounds like a groan, or a snarl, and oh.  bess has to take deep breaths of her own when he pulls back, a wide-eyed glance to her face to make sure she’s alright. she can only nod. samuel’s fingertips squeeze her waist as some of that urgency seems to fade from his eyes. he trails his mouth slowly from her lips to her jaw; she tilts her head instinctively to give him room and samuel finds that same spot on her neck from her own bedroom.  his teeth and tongue press a little harder than before; he gets a gasp for his efforts. her legs feel unsteady again. bess grabs at the open sides of his button-down until samuel shrugs out of it. it drops to their feet. he doesn’t protest when bess pushes him gently, walking backwards across the apartment with his arm tight around her.  he doesn’t let go when his legs meet the edge of his bed. bess would fall into him if not for samuel keeping them upright. he drops to sit, pulling them apart, and finally bess has to take stock of herself. samuel’s face is so open, his smile so wide in a way she’s never seen before.  “still good?” he asks. bess nods.  “still good?” samuel laughs lightly. “i’m great, bess.” he reaches for her hand, his thumb brushing each of her rings in turn. “we can stop whenever you want.” she’s the one standing but bess feels smaller, strangely. instead of replying, bess steps out of her shoes. samuel’s eyes seem to darken as she slides her jacket from her shoulders and lets it pool on the floor. bess leans down and brings one knee to the bed, by his hip, balancing herself with one hand on his shoulder. samuel’s inhale is impossibly loud as he instinctively supports her with a sliding grip up the back of her thigh. bess’ skirt isn’t that short but she’s glad she didn’t trade it for jeans before she left. samuel’s face betrays how pleased he seems by her choice.  once she’s finished effectively straddling him, bess looks down from her perch.  “hi.” samuel’s knuckles stroke up and down her leg. goosebumps ripple and he smiles. “hi.” bess takes his face in both her hands and leans down as samuel tilts his chin up to meet her. she’ll never tire of kissing him. it feels like she can’t get close enough; he must have the same idea because his arms wrap around her back until bess is sitting firmly in his lap, their hips slotted together.  “can i touch you?” samuel asks against her mouth. bess nods, maybe too quickly, but she can’t bring herself to be embarrassed.  guitar callused fingers slide beneath her top. samuel reaches the slim band of her lacy bralette. he pauses, but bess leans into his hand and then he’s tracing the curve of her breast. his thumb brushes a little roughly over her nipple; bess feels an abrupt ache between her legs. “that seems pretty,” samuel murmurs in her ear, like a casual observation. “it’s a matching set,” she replies, trying not to sound too breathless. “for luck.” he pulls back with wide eyes. bess wants to laugh but she’s too busy dealing with this rush of blood to her face. she sits up carefully so they don’t knock heads and reaches for the edges of samuel’s t shirt first; he drags it over his head in one smooth, practiced motion. shit, he’s hot.  he’s staring as bess unfolds herself to stand back on the floor (her legs are still unsteady but he doesn’t need to know that) and goes to pull off her own shirt. samuel’s eyes don’t leave her face until the fabric coming over her head pulls her from view. when bess blinks him back into focus, he’s gone a little slack-jawed. she nods at his jeans and the speed at which samuel divests himself of them has her biting back a giggle. bess’ face feels hot but there’s a frisson of pride that straightens her spine. she’s not even half an arm’s length away from him. samuel touches her stomach, just above the waistband of her skirt. “can I?” bess has to swallow before she can nod. just like before, samuel stares at her face until the last half of her outfit joins the rest of their clothes in a heap. samuel’s eyes trail from her eyes to her feet and back. it takes everything in bess not to fidget. she expects to see heat in his expression but there’s only wonderment and tenderness.  “fuck, you’re so beautiful.” she has no idea what to do with that. samuel tugs her into his lap this time, intent. his kiss is searing. bess rocks into him, just once, just a little. that grip on her thighs returns, tighter. bess can only gasp a laugh into his mouth when samuel stands, holding her up against him, and turns to lower her with a kind of breathtakingly slow care onto his bed.  bess lands on her back, samuel now the one leaning over her. desire coils low in her stomach. he gently shifts her hips so they’re both actually parallel with the long edges of the comforter.  she feels inexplicably, unbearably, fond of him.  then samuel looks away. he exhales, like he’s embarrassed.  bess frowns in concern. “what is it?” samuel shakes his head. “when you look at me like that, I can’t catch my breath.” oh. it feels so strange to be the steadier one. bess reaches for his cheek, drawing samuel’s eyes back to her. “guess you’ll just have to distract me, then.” he laughs, but then as he leans down, samuel’s smile fades and bess remembers. he wants her. she can feel it. his hand slides, pleasantly rough, over her skin, sliding beneath the band of her bralette. bess seizes samuel’s lip in her teeth as he strokes back over her breast. he teases her nipple and the moment bess manages to wriggle out of the garment and tosses it away, samuel’s swapped his hand with his tongue, her other breast now teased by his clever fingers. she gasps again and she can feel him smirking. samuel diverts his mouth’s attention to her other side. bess focuses on her breathing. the storm still lashes against the windows but it feels like nothing compared to the roaring in her blood. bess slides her fingers up the nape of samuel’s neck and a few things happen at once: samuel’s free hand finds the damp junction between her legs; bess pulls his hair a tiny bit harder than intended; his teeth catch her nipple with just enough firmness that bess’ back nearly arches off the bed, along with a keening noise she didn’t even realize she could make. samuel freezes immediately. he looks up and bess has no idea what her face looks like, but all she can say is, “do that again.” he leans back down, his teeth scraping over her other breast; when he tugs, bess does too, so hard that samuel hisses.  “sorry,” she pants, “sorry.” he shakes his head, a firm denial. it might be the dark, the lightning, or the fact that bess is so fucking turned on, but samuel’s expression has veered far past wanting— into hunger. he practically leaps back up to her mouth, a kiss so fierce that their teeth nearly clack together. “your hands,” he says, like it enrages him almost, “in my hair, holy fuck.”  oh was right. “you’re one to talk about hands,” bess retorts. “can you please just–” samuel leans back. “can i please just what?” he looks smug the bastard. it would be like them to bicker in the middle of sex, wouldn’t it? but his tone is so serious when he says, “tell me what you want, bess.” that she has to squeeze her thighs together.  “please touch me.” “where?”  bess is going to kill him. samuel touches her cheek with surprising gentleness, and kisses her there. “here?” he does the same to her neck. “here?” her shoulder. he marks the valley of her breasts, the slope of her navel, the jut of her pelvic bone. “samuel,” bess says. it sounds like a plea but she doesn’t care. she can only reach his shoulder now, the back of his neck. he may have shivered but she can’t tell because she’s too busy trying to keep it together.  he finally finds the elastic of her underwear.  “okay, bess?” this question isn’t a joke. bess makes sure to meet samuel’s eye; the mixture of that desire and care makes her dizzy. “yes. please.” when his fingers have finally slid inside her, bess says “samuel,” at a level of breathlessness she only ever gets when she sings. he touches her with the same care and confidence as he does any of their instruments, until her legs tremble; samuel finds a beat with his tongue against her clit that’s so good bess has to cover her mouth when she comes.  samuel crawls back up the bed towards her. he leaves a kiss on the inside of her knee, and her shoulder, just an inch or two from where he had the first night she’d stayed here. bess feels very safe, suddenly.  “still good?” samuel asks again, a more raw edge to the question this time. bess can only affirm silently as she leans up a little to kiss him. she can taste herself in his mouth, can feel the weight of his arousal against her. bess presses up and samuel groans.  heat pulses again between her legs. “do you want,” bess starts, putting her hands on him, straining against his boxers. samuel’s whole body seems to twitch. he pulls her wrists away though with a bruising kiss.  “i’m just dying to be inside you, if that’s cool.” her stomach flips.  “very cool.” samuel smiles and goes willingly when bess rolls them over. he reaches blindly into a bedside drawer. bess catches sight of a pair of glasses and makes a mental note to ask about them when her mind’s not currently so occupied.  “shit, are these even in date?” samuel squints at the packet in his hand. “god, have i not had sex in this long?” bess can’t help but laugh. they giggle their way through confirming the expiry date, getting rid of samuel’s boxers, and rolling on the condom in the dark. for a moment they just look at each other. bess hasn’t ached like this for anyone in a long time.  “tell me what you want, samuel.” his adam’s apple bobs as he sits up. “c’mere.”  samuel pulls her forward and bess lifts her hips to line them up. he swallows her tiny gasp as she sinks down onto him; it’s been a while for her, too. samuel anchors her with one hand splayed across her back, waiting silently until bess has adjusted to the stretch.  bess rocks down experimentally and he makes an almost strangled noise in the back of his throat. a soft kiss lands on her forehead, a starkly tender inverse to nearly everything that’s happened so far, and maybe even to what they’re about to do. it settles bess and breaks her open both at once.  “okay?” he asks carefully. she nods, wrapping both her arms around his neck. “you’re amazing, you know that?” samuel murmurs over her lips. his own hips swing up towards hers and wow. “bess.” she was right, before. he’s strong.  they get a rhythm going quickly enough, like another harmony that comes so easy. the angle has bess’ clit pressing with beautiful pressure against samuel’s pelvis; she clenches down just as he thrusts up. he curses and it just stokes that flame hotter inside of her. after a certain point bess can’t even speak anymore. she has both her hands in samuel’s hair and he’s latched back onto the curve between her neck and shoulder, teeth and tongue and words like, fuck and tight and good and bess— “samuel i—” he looks up at her face like he wants to commit it to memory.  “bess.” and she’s gone again. * when they’ve caught their breath and tidied up, bess and samuel find themselves side by side in his bathroom, a sweet reflection of that night from weeks ago. she’s glad she thought to bring her toothbrush. samuel keeps staring at her in the mirror.  “what?”  does she have toothpaste on her face? he just shakes his head, the way he does when he laughs to himself.  “nothing. you just look better in my t-shirts than i do.”  bess rolls her eyes but her face feels hot anyway. “weirdo.” it feels good not to have to wonder as they head back to his bed. samuel drags her immediately towards him beneath the covers, his cool hands greedy beneath her borrowed sleepwear as her back curves against his chest. he plants a minty kiss above her shoulder-blade where his shirt’s slipped down. bess shivers and he leaves another on the back of her neck. “sorry,” he murmurs, and bess flips around to look at him.  “for what?” the storm broke finally, and amber light of the street through his windows feels just as safe and warm as it had before. but samuel is the one who seems afraid, now.  “i don’t want to freak you out.” “you’re not freaking me out,” bess insists. “tell me.” samuel hesitates. bess reaches out to touch his face.  “hey. i don’t scare that easy either, you know.” he exhales a faint laugh. it’s so rare to see samuel seem unsure, or fragile. it makes bess feel thrillingly off-centre.  “i don’t think i’ll ever be able to stop wanting you.”  she’s falling.  “and not just—” samuel nods vaguely at their general closeness. “this. i mean all of it. the music, your family, everything. i know it’s probably a bad idea to start things with bandmates or whatever but i just—”  bess doesn’t let him finish. she can only pour all her affection for him into a kiss, taking samuel’s huff of surprise in her mouth even as he reaches for her waist to pull her closer, then on top of him.  when she pulls away he seems a little dazed.  “you make the bad days okay,” bess says firmly and samuel smiles with such near-adoration that she understands it now, that loss of air. “so we’ll figure it out, okay? one day at a time.” samuel nods. “okay.”  and he pulls her back down. * bess wakes up with words in her mind.  samuel’s grip is so tight that at first she doesn’t think he’ll let her go. but bess manages to slide away, picking up his hand gently and lifting his arm. she looks at his sleeping face and kisses his knuckles.  samuel’s lips curve a little and if she looks too hard she could be in love with him already.  she knows where he keeps blank sheet paper in his production area. bess finds a pen and a coffee table book about new york parks; she sits on the edge of the bed to scrawl, humming to herself.  she doesn’t realize he’s up until a familiar press of lips lands on her neck. bess will never stop shivering and samuel will apparently never stop smiling about it.  “hi,” he mumbles. his voice is low and gravely with sleep. bess files that away under the list of things that does something to her. samuel hooks his chin over her shoulder and bess lifts her work to accommodate his arms sliding around her waist. “new idea?” bess nods. “thinking about what you said to me.”  she’s circled can’t catch my breath at the top of the page. samuel goes very still. it feels like it could crush them, the weight of this kind of intimacy. but at least bess doesn’t have to carry it alone. “wanna write with me?”  she turns her head to look at him; samuel’s surprise will never not be thrilling.  “will you let me add a back beat?”  he’s already reaching for his guitar. bess laughs.  “i could maybe be persuaded.” the way his eyebrow lifts makes her stomach jump. “duly noted.” (they do finish the song, eventually.  the morning just gets away from them first.) 

[bokunoheroanalysisforthefuture]

Alright, so this is a bit later than I intended, but real life is a pain sometimes. And for those who missed the last post, that’s mostly on me for posting it at midnight, so you might want to go back and check for that - it covers the whole convo between Toshinori and Izuku on the rooftop!

But yeah, this is the final stretch, all the rest of chapter 1, so let’s hop right into it because it’s gonna be a ride.

[No. 1 - Midoriya Izuku: Origin]

Lookit that firebreath (I know it’s not shh). Also, again with the weird lack of crowds / people around in what should have at least a few stragglers. I get that drawing crowds / background masses is annoying, but in a wideview scene like this it’s unnerving. Japan is a high-population-density country, so… uh...

Izuku stares forlornly at his notebook, thinking about all the things people have told him over the past half chapter I mean day about being realistic and thinking seriously about his future. Izuku turns the book so the title faces away from him and starts tearing up, rubbing them away while he chastises himself for crying when he already knew he was being unrealistic, and that his knowing was what had driven him so hard to not see reality.

Overhead sign: 田 (den/ta) 等 (tou) 院 (in) 商店 (shouten) [business] 街 (machi) [boulevard, street]

Store sign: (コ)ネストアー (konesutoaa) [cornerstore]

Well, there’s the crowds, though still not able to account for all that empty street. We also see that Izuku has managed to wander his way to another hero fight despite not even really paying attention, and even though he tells himself he’s going to make himself feel bad for watching, he still heads over to join the crowds. 

He snaps out of his funk when he sees the villain, asking himself how they got away, then realizes he must have made All Might drop it, which means it’s his fault (which kid, honestly, considering he just left those bottles in open flap pockets instead of holding them firmly in his hands, you are not the one to blame.) Also, he utters the ‘this is my fault’ out loud, but the people in front of him obviously don’t hear, distracted as they are with the reason the heroes are just standing around - which is the middle schooler the villain has.

Izuku has a brief flashback to when he was being violated by the villain, and is horrified that someone else is going through the same pain. We get a brief panover of the crowd:

Izuku and Toshinori are like, only fifteen feet apart here, and have the same reaction to the crowd’s commentary. Incredible. We zoom back in to Izuku, who is blaming himself for All Might not being able to do anything. He mentally echoes the same words as the heroes, that someone with the right quirk needs to show up to help catch the guy. He internally tells the captured person to hang in and apologies, saying someone will save him soon.

God I love this spread. This is everything about Izuku right here. You can actually see where Izuku shoved himself through the crowd in order to sprint forward, and you can also see the genuine fear in Katsuki’s eyes in that moment where he and Izuku locked gazes. Also I checked, he sprinted right past three pro heroes, with none of them reacting in time. Incredible.

Toshinori and said heroes all freak out, and Izuku’s panicking right along with them but is still rushing forward despite that. Death Arms and the bird-helmet hero both yell at Izuku to get back, but don’t actually go after him. The sludge villain and Katsuki both react as well, recognizing Izuku.

Izuku’s notebook hits the ground spine first, and we flash over to Izuku wondering what the hell he’s doing. The sludge villain moves to try and hit Izuku when he gets close enough, while Izuku pulls off his backpack and continues to panic-think over what to do… with the book just so happening to open to the page he ends up thinking about, on Kamui Wood’s signature attack from the beginning of the chapter. 

He throws his backpack right at the sludge, all the stuff in it flying out as extra ammunition for the villain’s face to dodge, and while distracted, Izuku ducks underneath the strike and calls for Kacchan. Fortunately, the sludge has been forced to pull away from Katsuki’s mouth, allowing him to take a breath before demanding “You? Why?!” 

Remember this for (checks watch) 284 chapters from now. Also fuck, I just realized, remember this?

'a pro should always be ready to risk his life'

'the reason I smile is to stave off the overwhelming pressure and fear I feel'

'a symbol of peace who saves people with a smile must never be daunted by evil'

Izuku took those words to heart as well, and is already reflecting them only moments after his dreams were crushed. And you can tell in the next panel that Toshinori heard those words and was slammed right to the core because of it, because he knows that kind of drive, that sort of spirit.

We see the villain going back to suffocating Katsuki, while telling Izuku to stop it. Toshinori calls himself pathetic again while powering up, and the villain tells Izuku to stop getting in his way, that it’s only a bit longer, and moves to smash Izuku out of the way. Inside the sludge, we can see Katsuki close to passing out. The other heroes finally dash forward to try to get him out of there in time, only for someone else to latch onto the arms of both kids instead.

That someone, of course, being All Might, still steaming from going into his hero form. He tells Izuku that he (All Might) should ‘practice what he preaches’ and reiterates that a pro should always be ready to risk his life (while blood seeps from his teeth). 

I’m blown away by Horikoshi’s art in this, and this is where he started. God, just thinking of current manga events and the art there… this man needs to be stopped, he’s too powerful, I am going to cry doing comparisons and I don’t even have a clue about any fancy art terminology or the like, all I can do is stand back and be awed.

Izuku has had a rough day.

And here we see the force of the blow, which somehow didn’t blow away the crowds or damage the windows of all the buildings of the surrounding blocks. Jesus fucking christ. And then the remnants of the blow head upward, causing it to start raining because of the rising air current from that one punch. 

How was all that shit not blown away????? A mystery to everyone. Also, Katsuki and Izuku are both passed out on the ground while the crowd and media go fucking wild over what All Might just did. All Might turns to keep an eye on the two while also wobbling slightly, the pressure of holding this form past his limits.

After that, we go back to narration from Izuku, talking and showing the cleanup efforts and the villain in two garbage bags (as he deserves). The heroes chastise Izuku for putting himself in danger (I want to note that this has nothing to do with his quirklessness as far as the scene portrays), while Katsuki gets praised for being tough and having a good quirk, and gets an offer to sidekick. Katsuki isn’t listening or just plain doesn’t care, too busy glaring… or not really? At Izuku.

We get a short scenery panel, I guess to suggest the passage of time, and then we see Izuku putting his backpack back on, thinking moodily about wanting to apologize to All Might but not being able to, so he’s planning on leaving a message on the hero’s website. Katsuki calls Izuku out, and takes a shaky moment before snapping at him, saying he didn’t need Izuku to save him, that he could have handled it himself, that he doesn’t want a quirkless kid’s pity, and that he’s not gonna get won over just with this and to stop mocking him. He then spins on his heels and stomps off with a last ‘stupid nerd’, while Izuku thinks Katuski’s a tough guy. He still agrees with Katsuki, though - he didn’t do anything, he didn’t change anything, but he’s still happy, and now he can focus on a realistic future.

And then All Might zooms into view, scaring the hell out of Izuku. Izuku asks why he’s there when he was surrounded by reporters, and All Might says it wasn’t hard to shake them off, considering who he is- before he hacks up blood and deflates into Toshinori. Toshinori continues on more calmly, saying he’s there to thank Izuku and revise his earlier statement, as well as offer a proposal. 

He starts off on how, without Izuku’s story, he would have been nothing but ‘fake muscles and insincerity’, and thanks Izuku. (Izuku quietly muttering ‘fake muscles?’ here makes me cackle, because honestly, same.) Izuku tries to refute it, saying it was his fault from the beginning, getting in All Might’s way and daring to ask if he could be a hero despite his quirklessness- only for Toshinori to cut in and say that that was exactly it - out of everyone there, it was only the timid, quirkless kid who acted, and in so spurred him to action.

He goes on to talk about how the top heroes show signs of greatness as children, how many of them claim that their bodies moved before they could think. Izuku is shaking and clutching at his heart, hunching over and tearing up as he recalls his mother’s words, her apology to him. Toshinori continues, asking if that was what happened to Izuku, who replies with a yes while crying. He thinks about what he’d wanted his mom to say back then, and so we cut to the end of the chapter:

God, what a fucking great first chapter. I can’t think of another series I’ve read that hooks me in so well right from the start like this. 

Also wait, holy shit, the anime LIED to us.

‘The story of how I became a great hero’, not ‘how I became the greatest hero’. There’s a massive distinction in there between the two, and Izuku’s character leans WAY more towards the manga phrasing over the anime phasing. He’d never consider himself the greatest, those would always go to All Might and likely Katsuki first, and then probably his other classmates and friends as well. He’d be happy to be among the greats, but he’d never consider himself on top of them all. 

...huh, that’s the end, besides the one character panel that I’m gonna throw in a separate post. I fucking love this project so much, and I really wanna see what else the manga has to offer that the anime has lied to me about. This section went by a bit faster than expected, but I suppose that’s what comes from almost all of it being action, so. Thanks for sticking around so far, and let’s see what’s to come in chapter 2 together! :D

[oureuphoria]

Worst of You - JJK 08

You meet him under horrible circumstances but everything feels perfect when you’re with him. Too bad you have a bitch of a best friend, anxiety and an inability to learn from your mistakes which cripples your chances to be with the man of your literal dreams. He, however, is a police officer with years worth of built-up turmoil and an inability to make attachments. Or “I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong.” “Cool, I’ll let everyone know you’re moving in then.”

Genre: fluff, angst, comedy

Pairing: officer!jungkook X  collegestudent!reader

Word count: 2,304

Note: Things get sad in this chapter and :( 

| 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 

Jungkook was confused. He was confused about how you had gotten in, who you were with and more importantly, why you were here when this seemed to be the last place you’d want to be. In spite of his confusion Jungkook knew that to his knowledge you were still 20 and definitely underage, so it was his legal obligation to check up on you. It was definitely not because he wanted to talk to you, just following procedure.

“What are you doing here?” You hadn’t noticed Jungkook sit next to you until he spoke but you refused to spare him a glance. You were worried that was all it would take, one look at his wide brown eyes that seemingly held the universe and you’d be putty in his hands. “None of your business.“ “When you’re underage it is.” “It’s my birthday, officer.” You threw your ID card to him which he checked meticulously. You snatched the card out of his hands after he’d had a good look and hopped off the stool. 

“If you don’t mind, I have to go back to Jimin.” Just as you are about to walk away from him, Jungkook lightly grabs your hand. “Wait.” You turned back around to face him but expertly avoided his eyes. “I’m sorry.” It wasn’t much but it was all Jungkook could fathom and yet both of you knew, it wasn’t enough. You gave him a small smile before you replied, one that seemed more sad than polite. “Yeah, me too.” And with that, you walked away, shoving Jungkook and his ridiculously beautiful face to the back of your mind.

“Jimin!” You had finally found your friend who hadn’t been even half as happy to see you as you were him. “Y/N, I know it’s your birthday and I promised I’d be with you but the most gorgeous boy is here and I really need a hook-up. If you’re not okay with it I understand but-” “Go! At least one of us has to get lucky tonight.” You waved him off and he retaliated with a bone-crushing hug. “I love you so much. I promise I’ll make it up to you.” Whether that promise was empty or not, you were going to hold him to it because letting him abandon you in this club all alone is definitely a sizeable sacrifice. 

You walked back to the bar where you were relieved to see that Jungkook had left. Against your better judgement, your eyes subconsciously scanned around for him and when you saw him, dancing and having the time of his life while you were there following in self-pity, you realised you definitely needed another drink. 

Perhaps it was your lack of experience or your Jungkook-induced sadness or even your empty stomach but you were drunk. Only 2 drinks in and you had completely lost all sense of rationality. Unfortunately, the bartender was unaware of just how much of a lightweight you were and proceeded to provide you with the tequila shots you weren’t sure why you asked for. 

They tasted horrible and after downing two, you realised you never wanted to drink one again but for the first time in a long time, you had felt entirely carefree. It was nice, for the blissful moment it lasted but when your eyes had landed on Jungkook again, this time sitting at a bar next to some girl who was definitely prettier than you, carefree had turned into careless and you were making your way over there before you could process it. 

“Hi, I’m sorry but I really need to speak to him.” Giving the poor girl no time to reply, you had dragged Jungkook towards the end of the bar where there were far less people and the music was softer. “You, sir, are an asshole.” In between your words, you had made the honourable decision to jab Jungkook in the chest continuously. Drunk you believed you were emphasising your point, sober you would’ve cowered at the mere mention of such an action. 

“Are you drunk, Y/N? Where’s your friend?” “He left me for someone prettier, everyone keeps doing that to me these days…” You pouted as you strayed completely off topic and tears began welling in your eyes. You were an emotional drunk, you found that out the hard way. “I’m taking you home.” “No! I still haven’t finished.” Jungkook sighed in frustration and motioned for you to continue, the girl at the bar was long forgotten and Jungkook didn’t even care. 

“Why are you such a liar?” The waterworks had begun and while it was obvious you weren’t entirely competent, Jungkook felt the sting in his heart all the same. “Please, baby don’t cry.” “Don’t call me that. Stop making me think you care when you clearly don’t and next time grow the balls to say you don’t like me you jerk!” Your words were slurred and your delivery was a little off but Jungkook heard you loud and clear. He wanted to explain, he wanted to wipe your tears away and reassure you that he was enamoured by you, he adored you and wanted nothing more than to be by your side. But you were probably too drunk to remember and it was too late to try. 

“I’m sorry, just stop crying, please.” You tried and you weren’t sure why. The pain in Jungkook’s voice had hurt you and even while drunk, you’d do anything to make that pain go away. So you stifled your tears to the best of your ability, the only thing left behind were tear stains and your quiet hiccups. “Good job, now let me take you home.”

Jungkook didn’t expect you to fall asleep in his car, but then again he also didn’t expect you to berate him at a club. “Y/N, baby, wake up.” You were a light sleeper, he knew that much, which was why he was shaking you softly. You fidgeted in his seat a little before opening your eyes ever so slightly. “I’m sleeping, go away.” Drunk, sleepy Y/N was a challenge Jungkook didn’t know how to face. He also didn’t know how he was going to get you inside or whether or not you had your keys and going through your bag felt like a violation of your privacy so Jungkook decided to take you to his apartment instead.

When you woke up the next morning, something felt off. Your bed was never silk and you never remembered it being this big. You flailed your hand around for your plushie and when you had opened your eyes, you jolted upright in shock. That action was instantly regretful because of the pounding headache you had suddenly gotten and your wincing had captured Jungkook’s attention. 

He was dressed in grey sweatpants and a tight grey t-shirt that left scarcely anything to the imagination. If you weren’t dying from a migraine you might’ve appreciated the view but all you could think about was this numbing pain. “There’s aspirin on the table and a glass of water.” You nodded, reaching for your knight in shining armour as you consumed the medication. 

“Do you remember anything?” You remembered everything but you wanted to spare yourself the shame so you kept silent. “I tried to take you to your apartment but you fell asleep so I-” “I understand. Thank you, I hope I didn’t cause too much of an inconvenience.” You had began wandering around the room, collecting your belongings so you could leave as quickly as possible but Jungkook didn’t want that. “Y/N, slow down. I’ll give you something to change into, that dress can’t be comfortable.” He was right, it wasn’t. But neither was this predicament and every second you spent there was a second spent remembering the night you’d rather forget. You never drinking, ever again. 

Jungkook had come back from raiding his closet with a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. “You can change in the bathroom. Come down and eat breakfast and then I promise I’ll take you home.” “I don’t need to eat.” You shook your head, even tried rejecting the clothing but Jungkook had dropped it into your arms. “Unless you want to puke for 3 hours I suggest you get changed and come down to eat.” You rolled your eyes but complied nonetheless. 

You looked up at your reflection and you were a mess, your makeup was inconsistent, you were assuming it was because of the tears. Luckily, you didn’t wear mascara and after washing your face and tying up your hair, you started to look like yourself again. Jungkook’s clothing, which seemed to engulf your figure, had smelt nice and felt soft. You didn’t want to get used to it so you pushed those thoughts to the back of your mind and left the room. 

You could see the stairs clearly from where you were standing so finding the kitchen was straightforward enough. Jungkook was seated on the island, phone in hand with two plates of what looked like omelettes. Jungkook had looked up at the soft patter of your feet and smiled. “You look good in my clothes.” You mumbled a quiet thank you and hopped onto the high chair that was surprisingly comfortable. “You want coffee?” You shook your head and poked around your omelette, you were never a big fan of eggs but you’d never complain. 

“Fuck Y/N, I can’t take this, please talk to me.” You wanted to but you’d already said all you wanted to say yesterday (rather harshly) and you didn’t feel like repeating yourself. “There’s nothing to talk about.” He sighed and got up to pour himself a cup of coffee, when he had returned, you had already eaten a third of your omelette. “Can we go now?” “Can you listen to my explanation first?” You nodded timidly, you wanted an explanation desperately but you were also scared of the truth. That he didn’t like you and never did. 

“My first ever love was in high school. She was my senior, I was a year younger and infinitely less experienced, but that didn’t stop me.” You both laughed, knowing that Jungkook was stubborn when he wanted to be. “She was beautiful, the kind of beautiful that took time to truly process, she was smart, book smart at least and she was kind to everyone, even when they didn’t deserve it. We dated for just over a year, it was nearing my graduation when she passed away. Car accident, drunk driver. Instead of getting the justice she deserved, her parents who barely had a dollar to their name were forced to settle for the equivalent of a used Toyota. The girl who hit her was old money rich, her family had connections with the best defence attorneys in the world. The lawyers she hired, put a price on a person I loved, they tried to tell me how much her life was worth and it wasn’t generous.”

Jungkook wasn’t crying, but you were. You knew the world was cruel but growing up in a middle-income family in a peaceful neighbourhood truly shielded you from a lot of life’s challenging aspects and knowing this had happened to a girl, just like you, really shattered your heart. You felt even worse trying to imagine how Jungkook had felt and how horrible the situation was in general. “I pursued law enforcement for her. She’s the reason I’m where I am today. I’m not asking for your pity, or excusing my actions but I want you to understand. Every time I start falling in love with someone, I pull away because no matter how tough I look, I can’t deal with loss.”

“I thought pushing you away would protect myself and that was incredibly selfish, and I’m sorry. I thought that I could do this, that’s why I confessed but the moment I was alone with my thoughts again, I realised I couldn’t. But for you, I’m willing to try. I’ll put everything I have into this, all I ask is that you forgive me for the colossal asshole I’ve been lately.” Jungkook held your hands in his and you giggled through the tears after he’d insulted himself and Jungkook felt his heart swell at you. 

“Alright but from now on, just give me the worst of you and we’ll deal with it together.” “Deal.” Jungkook inched closer to you, his hands cupped your face as he wiped the remnants of your tears. With your faces barely a centimetre apart, you could really see the pain in his eyes and all you wanted to do was kiss it away. So you did. Dragging his head down by his neck, you gave Jungkook a soft kiss on the lip that barely lasted a second but he needed more. 

Jungkook had opted to rest one of his hands on the back of your stool, the other on your cheek as he kissed you deeper. “I’m sorry I ruined your birthday.” Jungkook whispered out in-between kisses. “Nap with me and I’ll forgive you.” Jungkook chuckled before placing one last peck on your lips. He wrapped your legs around his torso and lifted you up smoothly. You squealed in shock but Jungkook ignored it, his mind solely on getting you back in his bed. You really did nap, and you enjoyed it quite a bit, after all his arms were the comfiest pillow.