#still I can’t see it as Jake in that scene anymore

[boyfhee]

ㅤ ꣑୧ㅤㅤ:ㅤCANDLELITㅤㅤ𝒻t.ㅤㅤ성혼

﹙10097﹚ SYNOPSIS . . . the dating scene sucks, especially when the only person you want to be with is your roommate.

꣑୧ GENRE . . . roommate au, 'i hate them but they're hot' kind of energy

꣑୧ WARNINGS . . . profanities, drinking i mean lots of drinking we need alcohol shortage here, sunghoon smokes, mentions of one night stands, one very suggestive make out scene in the fourth section, undertones of cheating but not from sunghoon or reader, implications of sex although it's very light

꣑୧ NOTES . . . hi ( _ _; ) drowning in nervousness as i'm posting this. it's my first long fic after months ... i think the last one was in may or june 23 ... so please be nice >< don't know why but this didn't turn out how i wanted it to and it's definitely not one of my proudest works, but i hope u guys like it nonetheless huhu TT happy reading and please rb and drop feedback, it's highly appreciated ^_^

001. WHERE THERE’S HEAVEN THERE’S HELL

sunghoon is spiralling again. 

a part of it is because of the endless assignments from classes, but that’s no news. he knows it’s his fault for procrastinating and waiting till two days before the due date to even think about working on them— unlike jake who somehow attends classes probably four times a week and is seen in the football fields instead, and still manages to be the first one to submit his essays. it’s admirable, annoying at most. when he sat down to do his sports science project three days before it was due, sunghoon realised why his professor gave them two months to finish it. 

but realising your mistakes and working on them to be a better version of yourself are two different things.

for one, sunghoon believes those assignments are useless. no one cares about the impact of sports on society, maybe except heeseung and jake but again, in sunghoon’s mind, those two are never important. second, he’s too perfect to be working on himself. sunghoon is the best version of himself. he was born the day his uncle died, and his dad inherited the entire chain of restaurants his family owns across the country. he’s too amazing to be worrying about getting a degree he can buy— he thinks the university should be honoured he’s choosing to study— but that’s simply because his mother doesn’t want him to turn out like his sister. 

back to the matter at hand— as he puts the beer can on the table and sits back on the couch, his eyes travel to the door yet again. seventh time in just a minute, he’s keeping a record of how you make him wait. 

if there’s one thing he hates is being irresponsible ( coming from the great king of irresponsibility himself. ) you said you’d be back by twelve, and it’s half past one in night and not a soul knows your whereabouts. thirteen texts, seven missed calls, his phone is at forty-one percent and sunghoon is at his limit. if it wasn’t for your mom he wouldn’t give two flying fucks about where you are and how you’ve been.

sunghoon is actually surprisingly obedient and well-mannered, as opposed to the popular belief. he gave you and your mother the whole tour of the apartment the day you moved in. even made some coffee which isn’t much but your mother had loved him. he could see it in the way she looked at him with those sweet eyes, holding his hands as if he was her own son, and asking him to look after you. 

‘please take care of my daughter,’ sunghoon thought he was getting married. instead of a wedding bell there were warning sirens going off. to this day he doesn’t know why she asked him that, minutes after she saw a dead cactus in the balcony that he killed by overwatering. he couldn’t even say no to her and just nodded, looking over at you briefly and noticing how you look like you were a bit embarrassed. sunghoon doesn’t know why he’s so serious about ‘taking care’ of you. he thought it would be easy, but you had to be devil’s favourite spawn and sunghoon happens to be your target.

however, he can’t take this anymore. he has a morning class and waiting till two am while drinking beer has done more damage to sunghoon than it should. he gets up from the couch with a sigh, leaving the empty cans unattended for a night as he makes a mental note to clean tomorrow. it isn’t until a click from the door stops him in his tracks. 

“i’m back,” your voice is quiet, a yawn following immediately after your words as you look down while taking off your shoes. you’ve been drinking again, sunghoon can tell it from a mile away. 

“you’re late,” he speaks over the silence, hands on his torso as he’s giving you those squinted eyes and doubtful looks. if sunghoon didn’t know any better, he would assume you fucked someone at the club with how messy you look at the moment.

“yeah well, we had to take gigi to the hospital,” your lazy voice isn’t much louder than a whisper. you stumble towards your room, a hiccup followed soon after by the same quiet and slurred tone. “she ate something weird,”

he huffs at your words, knowing it would very well be just another excuse. “you could’ve at least texted,”

“my phone died,”

“i’m sure your friends would be happy to lend you their phone,” he pauses when he feels himself getting a bit annoyed. a soft sigh falls off his lips as he looks down at the tiled floor before looking up and speaking in a much calmer voice. “i’m just saying it’s not exactly safe to be out alone on the streets this late at night,”

“i wasn’t alone,” that piques his interest. “jay drove me back,”

and sunghoon felt his whole world stop. “jay?”

“yeah, jay, park jongseong,” your voice is surprisingly sweet when you take his name and it bothers sunghoon for some reason. his face scrunches up when you bite back a smile, hoping it’s the alcohol not because of what he thinks it is. “he’s nicer than i thought,”

sunghoon is not unfamiliar with the name park jongseong.

he hears it every day on and off the campus, more often than he likes. first things first, he’s just as popular as jake, for being american, which brings sunghoon to the question— why in the world would he leave america to study in korea when jay could have attended one of the ivy leagues with his face and money?

and the second and more important question, why in the world is park jongseong dropping you home at two in the night?

sunghoon only watches you in disbelief and astonishment as you stumble to your room, mumbling something incoherently. your words ring in his ear like sirens. ‘he is better than you’ jay is better than sunghoon. he scoffs almost offensively in your direction. that has to be the biggest lie of the twenty-first century.

he follows you to your room, reaching out to grab your arms when you almost trip but you manage to balance yourself. he opens the door and turns on the lights for you. “why were you with him to begin with?”

“oh, you don’t know?” and you turn around with eyes wide open as he shakes his head like a deer in the headlight. “he asked me out,” 

sunghoon didn’t get a single ounce of sleep last night. 

it’s your fault, clearly. had you been back earlier on the time, nothing would’ve happened. and jay— sunghoon sights at the thought of him, eyes narrowing as he grits on his pen as if he’s going to break it into two. 

“dude, are you hungry?” jake pokes sunghoon by his shoulder, dragging the latter out of his trail of thoughts. 

“what?” sunghoon shoots a blank look, one that makes his friend sigh in concern. afterall, it’s not everyday he sees sunghoon chewing on a pen. “i’m not,”

“you’ve been out of it since the morning,”

and sunghoon has been out of it since jay’s name fell from your lips. 

he’s not your friend, definitely not the first guy you’ve called by his name after sunghoon. but something doesn’t sit right. even after tossing and turning in bed for the whole night, he can’t figure out what bothers him more— the fact you said jay is better than him, or the fact that he asked you out on a date.

it’s the first one, he convinces himself. who you date is none of his business, he can’t be arsed enough to care about your love life or relationship status. ( although, he does care a little because he’s nosy. ) what bothers him more is that jay is, to put it in simple words, a player. all that face and no empathy for emotions is a waste, and to think you don’t know this— or maybe you do and yet still chose to go out with him, is beyond sunghoon’s comprehension. 

“what do you think about jay?” he asks abruptly, catching jake’s attention, looking at him a little too intently for an answer. 

“he’s a nice guy,” a casual reply before he gets back to his assignment before jake looks back at sunghoon with newly found interest. “he turned in my spanish essay last week, oh and drove me back from the bar a few days ago after you ditched me. why?”

sunghoon simply shakes his head, getting back to his books even though his focus is nowhere near studies. at this point, he doesn’t know if it’s jay distracting him or you. even your words keep playing over and over again in the back of his head. jay and nice in the same sentence doesn’t seem fit. sure, he helps his friends and drops his girl back home, but that’s only three days before there’s a new girl in his arms. 

002. RUNNING OUT OF SANITY

sunghoon doesn’t hear the door click open when you come back from your classes, too busy in the balcony while humming a tune that you recognise immediately. you take off your shoes, noticing how he taps his foot along with the melody, and it’s quiet in the apartment, apart from the sound of traffic and wind rustling through the trees around.

“i don’t like people who smoke,” smoking is not on your list of likes, but you find yourself next to sunghoon whenever he’s with a cigarette. just like now, when you return from yet another one of your dates— or meet-ups as you prefer to call it right now— with jay. it wasn’t really planned. you bumped into him after classes and he was on his way back home, so you asked him for a coffee. 

he almost jumps at your sudden voice but manages to compose himself, scowing at the distaste in your expression before scoffing, the cigarette still dancing between his lips. “good think, i’m not looking forward to be liked by you,”

he studies the frown on your face, glares as if your eyes are shooting daggers in his direction. it’s amusing to him how easy it is to get on your nerves. he leans against the metal railings, hair falling over his forehead. his eyes stay on your for a few seconds before he holds the cigarette between his index and middle finger, putting it away from his mouth and blowing out the smoke in your directions. he laughs mockingly when you step back, fanning out the smoke with your hands, cursing under your breath.

“are you crazy?!” you exclaim in annoyance, coughing slightly at his poor attempt at entertainment. your frown deepens when he mumbles a quiet apology although not meaning it, from the looks of it, and lifts the cigarette back to his lips. 

“you’re back early,” he states casually, tapping the cigarette butt and watching the ash fall down from the balcony before a taunting chortle falls off his lips. “did jay dump your ass or something?”

your nose scrunches up at his actions, although mostly at the tobacco you can still smell in your air. you look down at the road, watching a mercedes passing by. “no, he had to go somewhere so he left early,”

“i knew it! he’s good for nothing,” and he drops the cigarette to the floor, crushing it with his foot even though at the back of his mind, he knows you’re going to yell at him for cleaning that up. “what kind of guy can’t even spend time with his girlfriend?”

“we’re not dating,”

“that’s worse!” he emphasises, and a pause follows as he looks at you with a confused expression. “wait— didn’t you say he asked you out?”

“he did, but he said he wants to wait until exams are over,” there’s a hint of displeasure in your voice. his eyes travel down to your fingers, especially the ring you’re fiddling with before they’re back on your face when you speak again. “we just decided to hang out,”

he practically scoffs at your words, quite literally in disbelief. a knowing sigh comes out of his mouth as he stands straight, this time standing with his back against the railing, feeling the cold metal though his thin white t-shirt. a part of him wants to laugh at your stupidity and point at how naive you are, while another part of him wants to find jay and beat him to pulp. he doesn’t know why there’s anger pooling in his stomach at the mere thought of jay just messing around with you. 

“what a sick bastard,” he huffs with a tincture of annoyance in his tone. “how much do you want to bet he’s playing with you?”

“you’re the one who’s sick,” and even though it clicks with him that you’re referring to a few minutes earlier when he smoked all in your face, sunghoon still frowns when you call him sick. “he’s just prioritising his studies, there’s nothing wrong with that. at least he doesn’t smoke while being all up my face,”

you two just bask in silence after that.

he doesn’t have much to say— actually he does, but he doesn’t know how to put it in a decent, coherent way. of course, your reaction won’t be the most pleasant if he told you he wants to punch jay’s good for nothing handsome face. he wonders what you’re thinking when he looks over at you. you seem happy whenever you talk about your supposed ‘future boyfriend,’ yet it’s evident that you’re upset. he likes to think you’re having your doubts too. it's reassuring to him for some reason— because that’s good for you, of course. if you’re upset, you have your doubts, and if you have your doubts you might not fall victim to whatever sick game jay is playing. 

“oh, actually, he doesn’t smoke,” but then you speak in a matter-of-fact way, as if comparing him to jay before giving him a mocking smile. “he’s better than you,”

those words ring in his mind for a good while. 

you go back inside and he hears you shut the door to your room as an annoyed sigh falls off his lips. hearing that jay is nice from jake was another thing, but hearing to say he’s better than him leaves a bitter taste on his tongue. and he doesn’t know why he’s feeling this way, these little changes in how he usually is, it’s new. it’s frustrating him out. 

it isn’t until his phone vibrates that he’s dragged out of his ocean of thoughts. his brows furrow when he notices the time, having realised that he basically wasted the entire noon even though he didn’t attend classes after giving heeseung an excuse that he’s sick. his eyes squint at the sender, and then a groan escaping his lips when he opens to read it. 

noh chaeun  4:15pm hoon! my last two classes have been cancelled are you up for some coffee?

sunghoon doesn’t reply, rather leaving his classmate’s messages on seen, too bothered by his inner turmoil to spend time with her. it’s not like him to be this way, to be so bothered over something that doesn’t concern him. you’re definitely not someone so significant and jay is definitely not the first guy you’re with. in fact, he has seen you kiss that guy from one of your classes— as much as he hates to recall that incident now— and had sneaked up to tell your mother about it over the phone when she had called you.

you’ve never had a serious relationship, not after meeting him. in his head, you always came back to him and he’d be lying if he hadn’t joked about it with his friends during the initial few weeks after you had moved in. when he had mentioned to jake that you’re pretty and his friend had teased him a few days later, saying his ‘crush’ was with this other guy, sunghoon, did in fact, say he doesn’t care because you always come back to him; or rather his apartment, actually, but whatever fits the joke. 

that day, he had a good laugh out of it and the joke died back then itself, more so after he started complaining about you to his friends. your habits, your actions, the things you say that tick him off, your quirky and quick remarks— everything. perhaps, even about your habit of arriving late on weekends from parties and ruining his sleep because you forget the key most of the time, so he has to wake up and open the door for you, but not guys, never guys. 

it hurts his head to even try and figure it out, to find the reasoning behind the pang in his chest every time you mention jay. he likes to think it’s just harmless competition although for no reason, even though both of them have done plenty of things to piss each other off just for the fun of it. sunghoon thinks he can live with it and walks back inside to the living room, until he sees you walking out of your room on phone with someone, the name of he who shall be mentioned rolling off your tongue again, and he finally pulls out his phone with a frustrated sigh. 

sunghoon  4:21pm sure, i’ll pick you up in ten

“actually, my mom wants to invite your family over for dinner this weekend,” the girl in front of him speaks with a smile after muttering a quiet thank you to the waiter after he gets their order. “she’s very grateful  for the donation your dad made for our art gallery and wants to thank properly,”

“talk to my parents, then,” it’s a simple reply, too bland and forced for her liking.

sunghoon hasn’t spared her a single look in the past ten minutes that they’ve been sitting together at the table. firstly, he doesn’t know why he drove to a restaurant when she asked for a coffee. it’s not even close to dinner time, and the awkward yet sweet smile on her face didn’t make it better for him, so he ordered starters and drinks to drag their little impromptu dinner out. 

“sunghoon, to be honest,” chaeun tries to strike up a conversation again, despite the constant lack of effort from his side. “i want you—”

“hey, isn’t that jongseong?” and he cuts her off immediately, finger pointing outside the glass panes beside them as he stares in the direction behind her with brows knit together in shock. “who’s that with her?”

“jongseong?” she repeats the name before turning her head, forming an ‘o’ when she spots a familiar figure through the multitude on the streets. “ah, that’s myung jihye. she has been pursuing him for a while. i guess he finally agreed,”

“they’re dating?!” his voice is full of surprise and disbelief unlike hers, so seemed to be happy for the girl instead. he stares outside with a heavy silence as the couple disappears between the crowd before looking at the girl in front of him.

“oh, i wouldn’t say that…i don’t know but it’s possible they are.” it doesn’t miss her attention how sunghoon’s fingers tighten around the fork. “everybody in our major knows jihye has crush on him and they’re probably a thing by now,”

and he wishes you were here with him right now so that he could show you the true colours of the dear guy you’ve been going out with, the one who’s supposedly ‘better’ than him. he wants you to realise that his words weren’t false and he isn’t sick, after all, and if you’d cry, he would be down to tell you it’s not the end of the world. that there are a hundred other guys better than jay, ones who won’t even breathe in front of another woman, who’d treat you better— hell, i can treat you better if you ever give me a chance— and then a pause in his train of thoughts.

he looks at chaeun, who’s looking back at him with a perplexed look and her own set of questions. his mind replays those words yet again, and he screams internally.

what the heck?!

surprisingly enough, sunghoon has been thinking about jay for the whole evening now, obviously not in a good way. his eyes keep travelling to the knife stand on the kitchen island occasionally and every single time, he has to convince himself that murder is not the right answer to anything. 

for some reason, he can’t stop imagining your smiles while on date with jay. not that he has ever seen those— wish i could— as he slaps himself out of his state of mind yet again. not only that man is playing with you but on jihye who’s apparently his girlfriend? he lets out the ugliest scoff known to mankind, because in sunghoon’s head, jay is a sick joke made by biology.

he waits for you to return from your shopping spree for about an hour, having beer as a company. he tries to stay awake although his eyes get droopy, and then every ounce of sleep leaves his body when he hears the door unlock. 

“yn,” he practically jumps out of the couch, it almost scares you. he accidentally bumps into the living room table on the way, knocking an empty can of beer to the floor but too busy to bother picking it up. “i have to tell—” his eyes go down to the eleven shopping bags in your hands, as he counts them. “— wait, what did you shop so much for?” 

“oh, i have to attend a family wedding next month,” his chest feels warm when he sees you smiling and looking so excited, and it’s making him go crazy on the inside because he doesn’t know what is happening to him. for some reason, he starts imagining you in a gown, like the one you wore for the fresher’s party, but then he forces his mind to get back to the point. “i’m thinking of asking jay to be my date,”

and his heart drops down to his stomach.

this has to be a fucking joke, and he tells himself. for a split second, he thinks he didn’t hear you properly. maybe you said jake because, well, jake did tweet a ‘date for rent’ form five months ago when he needed money to buy tickets for a post malone concert that cost more than his gentle monster glasses ( not that he got any money but at least they got a good laugh out of it. ) 

you remove your shoes and put the shopping bags on the couch before sitting down as well, letting out a heavy sigh. “you look like you saw a ghost,”

“a ghost would’ve been better,” he catches you looking at him when he mumbles under his breath, sort of grateful you didn’t hear him before sunghoon would rather not have another argument with you over how jay is not only a bad choice, he’s the worst choice. 

he looks over at you when you pull out your phone, fingers fluttering over the screen as you text someone with a giddy smile. he considers telling you what he had seen earlier, but god, he loved to see you smile like that. the way you press your lips together to suppress a grin, looking ever so happy as if you have won a lottery. he doesn’t think you’ve ever smiled like that at him, and it aggravates him even more when he realises that you probably smile like that every time you see jay. 

jay is getting everything he isn’t deserving of, and it pisses sunghoon off down to his bones. 

but again, he can’t bring himself to tell you the truth. you look too happy for your own good, it pains him physically to even imagine your reaction when you’ll come to know the truth. and then he pulls himself together, telling himself that it is your fault in the first place to trust someone like jay and ignore the warning signs he was giving you. 

in the end, he leaves without having any further conversations with you, going to bed two hours earlier than usual even though he knows he isn’t going to get any sleep. sunghoon is convinced he’s losing his mind, faster than a day ago actually. he lets out a frustrated groan and covers himself with his blanket, hoping to catch some sleep. 

it’s going to be yet another long day tomorrow.

003. A CHANGE OF STANCE

sunghoon thinks you’re hot.

what the fuck?

“i asked something,” you remind, pulling him out of his trail of thoughts and he flinches slightly, making your brows furrow in confusion. “how do i look?”

“huh— what? oh,” he takes in your appearance again. hair down, make up done— you’re wearing your favourite lip tint? and the best dress he has seen you in so far, looking so mind blowing it actually blows his mind and short circuits his brain. 

even your favourite lip tint … sunghoon doesn’t know why he’s looking at your lips in the first place but little does he know he’s fucked. 

absolutely. completely. fucked.

nonetheless, he manages to compose himself, clearing his throat and sitting up ever so elegantly on the couch, legs crossed, the magazine still in his hands. “you look…t-terrific,” 

you can’t help but get even more confused at his words, wondering if it was a bad idea to even ask him for his opinion, even though you play along. “like in a good way or a bad way?”

“in a terrific way,” he blurts out, eyes wide open as panic settles in slowly inside his stomach, and he’s stuttering, shocked, surprised, fucked, again. “you look terrific in a terrific way…so terrifically terrific in the most terrific way possible,” 

“are you high?” 

well, he would say he is! never in the two years that he has known you did sunghoon think he’d find himself floored, figuratively, and speechless, literally, at the sight of you. and he’s not saying you look bad on other days. you look good, in fact. good as in plain and presentable, but never in a good good way and definitely not in a hot way, of course. 

“anyway, i’m going out. receive my parcel for me if it arrives,” you move to put on your shoes, taking a few seconds to pick between the two you think would suit your outfit. for a moment, you consider asking him to help you choose— as you look at him up and down peripherally, and he looks terrified. and you shrug it off, grabbing one of your loafers.

“where are you going?” he asks after a good minute of silence, sounding calmer than earlier as he gets off the couch and walks up to you. his nose scrunches up in disapproval as your hands move to one of your jimmy choos for a brief second, before you decide to go back to your initial pick.

“date,” he takes a moment to register your words, despite this happening many times.

a date. he scoffs softly, looking away, arms crossed. 

a date, again. sunghoon doesn’t give a fuck. 

“with jay,” you continue, this time with a sweet smile on your face that makes his heart flutter for some reason. maybe, he does give a fuck. 

now, sunghoon should feel bad for his fellow friend of a friend because he’s on a date with you, but instead he wants to snap his neck in two. the name is starting to give him an ick— jay this, jay that. you’re hanging out with jay, having coffee with jay, going on a date with jay, shopping with jay, next would be going to bed with jay— he pauses immediately, shaking his head. he doesn’t really like the sound of that.

“whatever,” he tells himself when you walk out of that door, looking all pretty and excited. he doesn’t know why he’s getting so worked up over a date, that too with someone who— according to sunghoon and chaeun— is dating someone else. he would pay to see you back home all miserable and he would point fingers at you and laugh, saying he told you already while you had your conscience and rationality clogged up with the possibility of getting dicked down. 

but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re on a date with jay fucking park. and you’re looking hot. 

he sighs, slouching back on the couch, looking outside at the bright blue skies and then sighs again. he needs to be lobotomized.

it’s three in the noon and sunghoon is drowning himself in misery and pity. and soju.

a glass after another and then another, along with two empty bottles already on the table. even the owners are giving him a weird look and heeseung can only let him ruin his reputation so much.

“there, there,” the senior takes the half empty bottle of soju from his hand and puts it aside, sighing pitifully at sunghoon. “that’s enough for today. you need to stop drinking,”

“heeseung,” sunghoon looks up at the guy in front of him, looking horribly pitiful, eyes a bit unfocused from the alcohol settling in his system. “do you know yn?”

and heeseung pauses for a few moments, not knowing what prompted him to ask this question. more so when you and heeseung went to the same highschool and even were in the music club. he nods slightly in doubt, raising his glass to his lips. “of course,”

“do you think he’s pretty?”

“of course,”

“do you think she’s hot?”

“of course,” it takes heeseung quite a few seconds to respond and sunghoon sort of wants to punch him in the face for agreeing because he feels a certain way when others find you hot— but he would claim it’s soju giving him heartburns. “why are you even asking this suddenly?”

“she went on a date with jay,” he responds in the most miserable and sullen voice known to mankind. his shoulders practically slouching at the mention of he-who-shall-not-be-mentioned, finger tracing the rim of the glass in front of him with incoherent whines falling off his lips.

“so what?” jake interjects, beckoning the owner for yet another bottle for soju. it was necessary, as heeseung had warned earlier while arriving at the restaurant, considering sunghoon’s impromptu text about wanting to meet up. 

“jake, did you hear what i said? she’s on a date with jay. park. jong. seong,” the youngest spells out every syllable, sitting up straight as he gets defensive. “she thinks he’s madly in love with her or something but she’s wrong! the day i went out with chaeun, i saw him with jihye and guess what? chaeun said everyone knows they’re a thing but apparently, yn doesn’t know this. i’ve told her so many times that he is not worth it but she won’t understand she’s fucking dumb oh my god,”

and…silence.

absolute fucking maddening silence that made sunghoon go even more insane before jake finally decides to speak, albeit in disbelief. 

“that monologue was unnecessary,” the foreigner pours in another glass for the three of them, filling them up completely, knowing this is going in a new direction yet a one that has been anticipated by both him and heeseung. “besides, since when do you care about her?”

“she’s my roommate,”

“you like her,” heeseung exclaims, and silence follows again for a few seconds before sunghoon gasps scandalously, slamming his glass down on the table which turns a few heads in their direction as jake mutters an embarrassed apology for it.

“i don’t,” sunghoon speaks in a voice much calmer than his previous tone, even leaning in towards the table to put emphasis on his words. jake pours himself another glass, scoff at his words while shaking his head mockingly which only pisses him off more.

“i knew this would happen,” heeseung continues, stating it as a matter of fact while nudging jake to pour him a glass as well. “saw this coming from a mile away when you cried over her going on a blind date the last time you got drunk,”

he can’t point out when that must’ve happened, but he doesn’t refute his words, simply letting his eyes travel across the room for a few moments. the frown on his lips deepens when he meets jake’s knowing gaze as he gets defensive once again. “i’m telling you, i don’t like her,”

“you said that about hello kitty but she’s everywhere in your room now,” he turns his phone with the screen up when he feels jake’s eyes on it, or particularly on the hello kitty sticker on his phone cover as the boy nudges him for another glass. “go on, you’ll need it.”

and sunghoon does, drinking more than he usually does thanks to jake filling his glass again and again for the sake of his sob story. the cab drops him in front of his apartment and he stumbles his way to the elevator. the silence sobers him out for some reason as he leans against the walls of the elevator and thinks about you.

perhaps you’re still with jay, sharing smiles and stories, kisses if you’re brave enough. he likes to think you are not, that you would chicken out— it makes him feel better about himself. he imagines you holding hands with him and then shrugs that thought off his mind just as quickly, huffing at the bitter taste it leaves in his mouth as he walks out of the elevator once it reaches his floor.

sunghoon planned to take a shower and sleep, but every thought water downs to nothing when he spots you crouching next to the door with knees pressed up to your chest. he can’t see your face, but he knows you’re sad, and it makes him stop in front of you, his heart accelerating when you look up at him with glistening eyes.

you look miserable.

and sunghoon has no reaction. he’s frozen, hands on his side as he stares at you. he was supposed to laugh at you for your stupidity. but you look so utterly sad and heart broken, god, he wants to punch jay in his throat. yet again, every single thought leaves his mind when his eyes fall back on your face, his hands instinctively opening out to you as he speaks in a voice as soft as a feather.

“let’s go inside,”

004. CANDLELIT 

“he said it was a bet,” you speak over the silence, fiddling with your fingers. you look up at sunghoon— who’s sitting with legs crossed in front of you while you’re curled up in one corner of the couch. “and that he never meant to drag it out for so long but he didn’t know how to tell me,”

“a bet?” he scoffs bitterly, looking away for a fraction of a second before his eyes are back on you. “what an asshole,” 

it’s not the first time sunghoon has said that. in fact, asshole is all and the only word he uses to define jay. you still think it was a stretch, for jay isn’t that bad. sure, he lied to you and played with your feelings— which you will never accept that you had feelings for him because you don’t want to look pathetic— but he wasn’t rude. well, at least he paid for all the three dates you two went on with the locations being some high end restaurants or bakeries. 

on the other hand, sunghoon stares at you in silence. his eyes trace over your sullen face, and then to your fingers. for a second, he considers holding your hands…roommates can do that at least, right? to comfort one another, but then he catches you looking up at him and he averts his gaze to a distant corner. “don’t start crying now!”

“i’m not! i didn’t even like him that much…” and he can’t help but suppress his smile at the pout on your face as you refuse to look at him. it’s adorable, he never thought he would ever say that, but it’s true. your mannerisms are cute, you’re cute, and it’s eating his brain cells.

“is that so? you talked about him like you two were in love or something,”

“stop it!”

he stares at you quietly for a few seconds again. even though you’re being defensive out of embarrassment right now, trying to prove to him that you’re not heartbroken, sunghoon knows you’ll be crying the moment you’re behind the closed doors of your room. on other days, he wouldn’t care so much. not more than giving a few pats on a back and telling you to suck it up despite the concern in his voice. today, however, he feels differently.

you got played. it’s your heart that’s broken. you feel like a fool, and yet sunghoon is sitting in front of you, trying to find words amidst awkwardness and hesitation. his heart feels heavy for you. it’s unfathomable on his part.

he suddenly remembers the day you mentioned that jay is better than him. he almost scoffs at that, again. well, you might harbour feelings for the american guy but at least sunghoon never had you holding back your tears. and he swears it would never come to that, if you ever have feelings for him because sunghoon would be a better boyfriend— and then he comes back to his senses as soon as those words register inside his brain, cheeks heating up at the sudden thought before he clears his throat. 

“do you want ramen?” he manages to change the topic ever so swiftly, getting up from the couch and already walking to the kitchen without waiting for your response. apparently, getting away from you would ease his heartbeat, although hearing your voice has just as much effect on him as your presence or a mere thought of you.

“are you cooking?”

he lets out a breathy laugh at your words, getting two packs of ramen from the shelf. “of course, do you think i’d ask you to cook when you look like you went through a divorce and lost the custodies of all your three kids?” 

you frown at his words, although ending up laughing at them just a second later. it’s hard to not laugh at how silly he is sometimes, if you ignore his annoying tendencies. sunghoon puts the water to boil, fighting back a smile at the sound of your laughter. it’s better than seeing you all sad over a guy who doesn’t deserve you.

you get off the couch as well, making your way to the kitchen, wanting to help him since he listened to your sob story. it’s quiet, and you hear slight rumbling outside as you take a quick look at the weather outside through the windows and then within a few seconds, thunder pierces through the silence hanging in the room. 

sunghoon flinches visibly, freezing in his stance before the sound of heavy rain fills the kitchen. he turns on the electric stove and it blows out. all the lights in the apartment go out, darkness settling in and disturbed just as quickly as the room fills with bright flashes of light, illuminating your face for a short second before it’s dark again.

“wait, i’ll get my phone— oh,” you reach out for the back pocket of your trousers, quickly get your phone and turn it on for the flash light before it powers off. “out of battery,”

he takes a blind step into the darkness when it thunders again and he notices you standing with your arms around yourself when the light surges in the room for a moment again. he hopes you won’t push him away if he puts his arm around you, but then you two bump into each other. a quiet apology finds its way out of your lips, and he can tell you’re flustered. 

“where are the candles?” he asks to distract you from the fact that he’s holding your hand and pulling you aside gently, so you don’t crash into each other again. your hands feel oddly warm in this cold weather, and it only flutters his heart even more.

“second shelf from the right i think,” your voice is interrupted by thunder again and your hands instinctively tighten around his fingers. and then a loud thud follows, causing you to gasp slightly. “are you okay?”

“i can’t fucking see,” his voice is strained, oozing off pain as he lets go off your hands. you open your mouth to speak before he bumps into something again. something falls off the counter, perhaps the spoon by the sound of it and he apologises shortly after. it’s harder to navigate around his own apartment, more than he had imagined.

sunghoon manages to find the candles, setting them on the counter with pure intuition before lighting one of it up with the lighter he always carries around in his pocket. he turns around, almost bumping into you and before he could say anything, he sees you pressed up against one of the counters, face illuminated by the dim candle light. 

you’re close, too close, he’s afraid you can hear his heart going crazy at the proximity. his mind is telling him to step aside but he’s too lost looking in your eyes, ( as you are too ) with you looking so impossibly beautiful under the faint golden glow. 

“is this okay?” he whispers softly and you simply nod, not a word coming out of your mouth as you find yourself entranced by his face. sunghoon has always been aphrodite’s son, as his admirers would call him, and now that you’re seeing him so closely, you’re realising he’s something much more beautiful.

it doesn’t slip your attention how his gaze settles on your lips for a quick second, your body tensing up at the sudden movement. your breath hitches as he leans closer, dipping his head down. your heart is racing while he feels like his heart has stopped— it’s timeless, as he finds himself just a few centimetres away from your lips, not wanting to stop even though he gives you a chance to pull back, whispering softly, “can i?”

you nod. and sunghoon doesn’t waste another second, capturing your lips with his. 

it’s still at first, with your lips only pressed up together for a few seconds. it’s only a few seconds after he pulls back ever so slightly, and then tilts his head to the other side and goes in for another kiss, this time moving his lips slowly against yours. he feels you tense up for a brief while and then melting as you kiss him back, your fingers lacing around his tenderly. you flinch when it thunders again, breaking the kiss, but feeling shivers down your spine as you feel his breath on your lips. 

he takes a few seconds, fingers ghosting up your hands to rest on your waist, tugging you closer as he brushes his lips against yours. “focus on my lips,”

and he kisses you again, this time a bit more firmly, albeit it’s slow and gentle at first, his lips moving against yours in a way that's both comforting and exciting. but as the moments pass, he presses in deeper, more insistently. he lets his body press more firmly against yours, his chest touching yours as his tongue gently teases at the seam of your lips. it was working, the way his lips move against yours, it calms your nerves from the thunder but lights them up again when he nibbles gently on your lower lip, his fingers digging into the skin of your waist as he continues to kiss you so fervently. 

it takes a passing second for you to realise what you’re doing. it surprises you, however not enough to pull back, or maybe the way his tongue feels against yours stops you from doing so. you’d be lying if you say you hadn’t thought of kissing him before— as early as two days after moving in. and now that you’re actually kissing him, everything feels like a fever dream.

he tucks your chin up with his fingers, pulling you in closer to deepen the kiss. he is a good kisser, sunghoon uses that to boast about himself, he has always been good at this— kissing, bragging, making your knees weak, and all you could do was melt into him wet and sloppy kisses that he plants on your skin. 

he dips his head down to your neck, pressing sloppy, open mouthed kisses down the column of your throat, pulling your blouse aside to get a better access to your collarbones and shoulders. it felt like his body has a mind of its own, and he’s only following right behind. when a soft gasp leaves your lips, he moves back to your lips again, wanting to swallow every little sound you make that makes his mind haywire. 

your breaths are heavy, hands around his neck with fingers grazing the skin of his nape. a movement that makes him moan softly in the kiss as he presses you against the counter, holding you between his arms. his hand that's resting on your hip moves up, tracing the curve of your waist and then sliding under your shirt to rest on your bare skin, lips curling up in a subtle smirk as he hears you gasp yet again. 

“sunghoon—” you pull back, getting a quick glance at his half-lidded eyes when the lightning from the thunderstorm fills the room. he can still feel your laboured breathing on his lips and it does nothing but pull him in even more. after all, sunghoon would be lying if he said he didn’t imagine doing this with you.

“we’ll stop,” he pecks your lips, then trailing his lips down your jawline and to your neck, leaving a trail of gentle kisses along your skin. “when the candle goes out,” 

005. WHERE THE LINE FADES

when sunghoon wakes up the next morning, he’s met with cold empty sheets on the side and the memories from last night start flooding his mind. his heartbeat accelerates at the mere thought of you, especially how you were last night and every time his name fell off your lips in bliss and pleasure— he would’ve preferred waking up to you rather than emptiness. 

he lays idly for a few minutes and stares at the ceiling, looking for where it all had started. was it the day you told him jay asked you out? maybe not, he doesn’t like to think of himself as a jealous person. it must’ve been when you asked for his opinion on your outfit, he tells himself, you looked too good to be true that day. a few seconds more and he sits up with a soft groan, seemingly unable to find answers to any of his questions.

the weather seems to have improved as he notices the cosy sunlight outside. he slips on this shirt before walking down to the shared bathroom, rubbing his eyes softly and brushing his fingers through his hair with a sigh. he puts his hand on the door knob and looking up in surprise when it opens on the other side.

“oh,” the slight hint of shyness on your face doesn’t escape his gaze, just like how enchanting you look this early in the morning with hair wet from the shower. you bite slightly on your lower lip before the awkwardness in the air is disturbed by your voice. “morning,”

actually, it must’ve all started the day you moved in.

“morning,” he replies back, rubbing his nape and looking away. the weight of questions lingering around makes it hard for him to look in your eyes. “would you like to have breakfast?”

you nod and follow him into the kitchen after making a short trip to your room. 

you steal a few glances at him while eating your breakfast, feeling your palms sweat at the thought of bringing it up to him. you avoid it for a few minutes, tossing the question around in your head while trying to make small talks about the ketchup, as bad as it could get. it feels a bit suffocating until you finally decide to address the elephant in the room. “so about last night—” 

“it was a mistake,” he cuts you off immediately, a heavy pause following shortly after. he looks up in your eyes for the first time since the morning. “let’s just forget it,”

and his words leave a bitter taste in your mouth. it could’ve been just another one night stand for you had it not been with sunghoon— your roommate, the person you see everyday, the person who managed to give you butterflies the day you moved in. your fingers tighten around the spoon and you consider arguing back for a moment before you push that idea further back in your head.

it could be just another thing added to the lists of things that have been buried, like the time you and sunghoon almost kissed in the elevator last year.

“right,” you nod quietly, convincing yourself that it’s not a big deal. that he’s just another guy in your life like jay. actually, you don’t feel like wanting to compare them anymore. you don’t know where the line marking the difference fades. “of course, yeah,”

you don’t even like the sound of that.

“yeah,”

you don’t wait another minute before leaving your unfinished breakfast on the table and going to your room. his eyes follow your movements, conscience nudging him to chase after you. he contemplates it for a while, and then you walk out with your bag. “i’ll see you after classes,”

and then sunghoon doesn’t see you for the rest of the morning.

or the day, in fact. usually, you two end up bumping into each other at least once, but sunghoon doesn’t see you around for the whole day. he skips spanish, deciding to go back to his apartment earlier than usual. he turns on the tv, deciding to watch a football watch with beer on the side while waiting for you. an hour passes, then another, and another.

there’s no sign of you.

it isn’t until he rings up a few of your friends that he hears that you’re staying over at giselle’s for the night. he wouldn’t blame you, couldn’t, not after everything that went down a night ago. you needed some space and so did he, but somewhere inside he wondered if he should’ve been honest with you when you brought up that topic during breakfast instead of saying the first thing that came to his mind and dismissing it.

but, he dismisses it again, letting you be on your own for as long as you need, knowing you’d come back soon.

which you do, the very next day, much to his surprise. he had expected you to avoid him for at least a week. he notices the way you look when you return early in the morning, tired and exhausted as if you hadn’t got a single ounce of sleep. there’s silence engulfing him but you walk to your room before he could even open his mouth to speak. and then you ignore him for the rest of the day.

he starts feeling annoyed at some point, trying to come up with a reason for your actions. he tries striking up conversations with you and you give short responses, or just nod. when you walk away without answering him when he asked about your day, sunghoon wanted to grab your wrist and pull you back for a second, but he dismisses that idea just as soon as it pops up in his head. he doesn’t even realise how quickly time passes in silence, not until he returns from heeseung’s apartment after spending two nights and one day with him and jake and checks his phone, realising it’s already close to being a week till you’re gone radio silent. he notices a few texts, mostly his study group that have been planning meet-ups to study, one that he rarely attends. his eyes especially squint in confusion at the texts from your mother, saying she had been trying to get in touch with you but getting no response. 

he was on his way to his room when he heard the door unlock. a pause, the click of the doorknob strikes through the silence, followed by your footsteps. he takes a few seconds to sort out his thoughts before speaking. “your mom texted me since you weren’t picking up her phone,”

“my phone died,” you give a simple response, almost too quickly for his liking. he lets his eyes follow your movements as you take off your shoes and jacket, putting it on the couch. 

it takes him back to the day you told him about jay asking you out. 

it was exactly the same— you arrived late, your phone had died. he was asking the same questions, albeit laced with annoyance. today, it’s hesitation, maybe slight doubt. sunghoon can’t stop you from seeing jay, but the idea of you being with him bothers him more than expected. so, he follows up with yet another question. 

“where have you been?” he asks, wanting to maintain a casual demeanour even though his heart is pounding in his chest just from being near you. he isn’t expecting any response, actually, however he’s met with surprise when you actually reply. 

“with jay,” the words fall from your mouth as if you’re used to them, used to saying his name. there’s an awkward pause before you clarify. “we had dinner together. he wanted to apologise properly,”

“that’s— that’s great,” he manages to squeeze out, but sunghoon thinks jay could’ve left you alone instead of meeting you if he wanted to apologise so bad.

you definitely had feelings for jay, even though they didn’t go as deep for you to come home sobbing your eyes out the day you learnt the truth. to sunghoon, that is enough of a reason to hate him even more. just the mere thought of your heart sinking whenever you’d even think of jay made him fist his hands, nails almost digging in the palm of his hands. 

sunghoon doesn’t have much experience with girls. in fact, none at all. flings are one thing, and girlfriends another. he has had both— none too serious. the first time someone asked him out was in highschool, although he’s surprised it didn’t happen much earlier. that time, just agreed to go out with her because his friends were in relationships too and he didn’t want to fall behind. it wasn’t soon before it turned into a competition after he got into university. not his best self, it isn’t something he’s proud of now that he thinks about it. 

and sunghoon isn’t half better than jay in that aspect, although obviously not as bad as to bet on going on a date with another girl while he already has a girlfriend. however, if you had feelings for him— as he thinks while watching you walk to your room— he wouldn’t let a single tear fall from your lips. 

“about that night,” he follows you into your room, practically hearing his heartbeat echo through his ears. he gulps nervously when he notices you looking at him with a sliver of hope in your eyes. “it wasn’t a mistake,”

“oh,” and you stop in your tracks, having no idea how to respond. an awkward pause follows as you bite your lower lip habitually before speaking, feigning a casual tone. “well, we can still put it behind—”

“i don’t want to,” he blurts out, cutting you off mid sentence. you notice how his voice is quiet as always, yet there’s panic and anxiousness behind those eyes. “i mean, i tried to, but it’s difficult. you’re always on my mind,”

there’s a silver of determination behind his voice. it’s surprising and equally anticipated. sometimes, he feels like he thinks of you every minute no matter what he’s doing. it was never this bad, these days even the regular banters between you two give him butterflies. and sunghoon understand that he might be far from your type in men. perhaps, you actually prefer someone like jay, who treat you to a fancy dinner to apologise, or maybe that guy from a few months ago who can’t remember the name of. 

you and sunghoon can be polar opposites and he would still be standing here, fingers fidgeting nervously with the hem of his denim jacket, looking so uncharacteristically out of place. he would choose to have this talk again, as much as he hates confronting, because it never about who your type is and always about the fact that you’re sunghoon’s type— as he realises this when you tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, looking at him with lips pressed together. you look cute, more so when you’re awkward, and he can’t believe he’s coming to terms with this but god, he is falling for you. 

he is falling hard, and falling deep. it’s nothing like him, you make him nervous, almost as if knocking him out of air whenever your eyes meet, and he would gladly suffocate to death. it was quiet with too many questions hanging above his head, and he noticed the way you fiddle with your fingers with the cutest expression known to mankind and sunghoon knew he was screwed. 

“i’ve got it so bad for you, yn, really,” —he speaks as if he’s out of breath due to the nervousness— “really bad. i tried to keep you out of here,” he said, pointing at his chest, cheeks flushing red as the words fell off his lips. “but you won’t go, you just won’t.”

and sunghoon has never been so…out of place, for the lack of better words. it’s amusing, even to you, the way he is right now. the sunghoon from three weeks ago wouldn’t even care but he, now, is pouring out all of himself, as if stripping him naked of his emotions and letting him see what lies behind the suave smiles and prideful words. as if showing you how easily you have him going crazy, right out of his mind and how he can’t help but just stare blankly as his eyes travel down to your lips occasionally— as they do now— and it leaves you in a frenzy when you notice it. 

“i can’t stop thinking about that night— not in a weird way, just…” and you’re just standing in front of him, trying not to laugh at his antics. he’s cute, a pause, what the fuck. and then you just go along with it, knowing there’s no point denying it anymore now that you two are having this conversation.

you notice his little mannerisms, like how he can’t look in your eyes for the life in him, how he keeps shifting his weight from one leg to the other. it’s adorable, especially the way he can have all the attention in the room with just his mere presence. that’s sunghoon for you, with a presence so heavy it’s loud even when he’s silent. it’s so loud you can practically hear his mind, of all the words you know he wants to say but can’t. there’s a hitch in his breath, his eyes meet yours for the first time in the past few minutes— i like you— they say, and the next thing sunghoon knows is that you’re kissing him. 

“i like you too,” you whisper against his lips after pulling back, your lips brushing against his. sunghoon feels like every single nerve in his body has been sparked, giving him goosebumps when you slowly intertwine your fingers with his.

of course, you know how he feels even before he could say it out loud. maybe, he just made it obvious for you to guess, otherwise sunghoon likes to think of himself as someone who can hide his feelings well. he lets go of your hands as soon as he feels you lace your fingers with his and instead, cups your cheeks ever so tenderly and leans down to capture your lips with his, smiling in the kiss. “i love you,”

˃ᗜ˂ : if you made it till here, i'm sending each one of u kisses >< thank u for reading, i hope u liked it. ps i had to put my heart aside and write jay's name ... never again will i put my man thru this huhu TT he's too good to do these things

[ayylovley]

hiiii i’m the previous anon asking about your request availability ❤️ i want to ask for 4 + 5 + 23 in nsfw prompts for Jake if possible.

thank you!!!!

Ohh aight you got it 4. What their aftercare is like 5. Seeing you naked for the first time 23. They fuck you at a sleep over (tw; somnophilia)

Seeing you naked for the first time

Does this make Jake creepy? He didn’t mean to walk by you changing, but you just so happened to leave the bathroom door a little opened, and when your ass was in view of the corner of his eye, it’s his responsibility to close the door when the other Big Deal members walk by…

A situation where you needed a place to stay for the night and Jake was kind enough to offer. But mostly because he’s always been interested in you.

As you continue to undress and revealing your body to him, even if you didn’t know it, Jake had this feeling that you could be doing it on purpose. It’s working. The sight of your soft breasts, ass, just all of it… He thought that your body would look a lot better if you were underneath him. Or on top, he wouldn’t mind either way. Or just under his touch, his lips…

Once the shower turns on from behind the door, that’s when he walks away from the scene before he was caught watching you. He won’t do anything. He will use all of his restraint to not ravish you in that shower or in the bed you will be sleeping in with him tonight.

They fuck you at a sleepover

Jake lays right next to you as you both lie under the blankets in the same bed. You were both thinking the same thing, despite saying you’re comfortable with the bed with him, this feeling of shyness and nerves kicked in once it was actually happening. You could hear your own heartbeat thumping against your chest, your eyes were still open, staring at the wall of his bedroom.

“Jake…?” Your body shifts upward a little, your voice sounds a little nervous “Are you still awake? I can’t sleep”

You could feel his heavy body move slightly making the mattress creak, “Yeah I’m still awake… but why can’t you sleep? Something’s on your mind? You want to talk about it?” He’s so kind! It just makes your heart thump a little faster. Jake slowly turns around to face his muscular body towards you. You find it difficult not to stare. “Um… it’s just…” Your eyes find their way to his, but neither of you looked away this time. Alone with the guy you were so fond of for as long as you’ve known him, he’s so sweet to you and he’s so handsome with a nice body.. The way he knows how to handle his crew with ease and leadership.

“(Y/N),” Suddenly, Jake scoots his hips closer to you. The silence didn’t last very long, the room was full of a series of little wet smacks from your lips intertwined. As your eyes were closed, you could feel every technique Jake was giving you with his tongue. Wrapping your pink muscles around one another’s felt like fireworks going off through out your body. Next thing you know you’re laying on your back pressed against the cold sheets as you welcome his body weight hovering over you completely.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.”

Jake whispered in the shell of your ear, your face heats up in your cheeks on,y making him chuckle softly. “Shut up.” Your eyes shift away as your eyebrows furrow just slightly as the knuckle of his index finger brushes on your hot cheekbone.

“You’re right, we shouldn’t waste anymore time, right?” He begins stripping himself down, the heat in your face only increased. The peels away his pajama pants that escaped his hips along with the boxers that came with them. “We shouldn’t pretend that we don’t want each other anymore.”

The heartbeat fills his ears from your own chest as you watch him grab onto your top. “Now let’s get these annoying clothes out of the way.”

Minutes later you’re screaming softly underneath him when his cock was filling your core that your walls clench harshly around his shaft. The slow, steady thrusts that gets your toes curl making the pads squeeze, the way his hips move back and forth, and the way he watches you with those eyes, knowing that you’re more than enjoying this. How sweet of him to wait to get himself off just to pleasure you thoroughly first, how your lips he was just devouring hangs open, how you’re whining his name like this.

He can’t take it anymore, his strokes begins to speed up listening to your sounds of pleasure become louder. Your walls invite him deeper letting him get that specific spot, which makes pupils he’s been staring into roll behind your head. The spot that creates the gushiest sound from his thickness.

You could hear Jake moaning above you, his breath tickles your cheeks as he continues to praise you. “Fuck… (Y/N) You feel so fucking good.”

What their aftercare is like

How many times have you two been breaking a sweat? Jake’s stamina was insane, the pain in your inner thighs sent you to whimper with each intense thrust when your aching hole was already worn out. You could feel your body breaking, falling apart from each primal pounding he was giving. “Jake! Jake! Please, I need to come!”

“Shhh, just a little more.”

The sheets underneath you were soaked with sweat and dried semen, evidence of the hardcore hours long affair between you both.

You lay there brain dead and couldn’t move a single muscle as Jake doesn’t fail to be a romanist and peels himself away from his own bed to scoop his strong arms against your back and underneath your knees and lifts you in the air. There’s a faint gasp heard from you, above the ground as you could see how his tattooed muscles flex.

His feet pads on his floor as he takes you to the bathroom, you could the tub filled up with hot water. “I know that I did a number on you… So I’ll take care of you.” Damnit. You tried not to get attached despite having a crush on him. But he makes it so hard… As your body is slowly sinking in the water that feels nice against your aching skin, you can’t help but moan a little.

“Do you want anything? Water? Tea?”

“I’d like some tea. Thank you, Jake.” Your shy smile catches his attention as he went to the doorway to exit the gesture “No problem, (Y/N)…you know…. If you want, we could continue this between us.”

Your eyes light up at his suggestion, honestly, when he brought it up, there’s nothing in the world that you’d want more in this moment. Jake was now everything you could need.

[nebulablakemurphy]

Total Eclipse Of The Heart (Part 12 : The Untethering)

Summary: Jacob Black, alpha of his pack, would never fall in love with a bloodsucker, much less imprint on one. The problem is that Y/N Swan was human…until she wasn’t anymore.

Warning: Suggestive scenes, proceed with caution.

Series Masterlist

The first week in Alaska is spent wrapped up in each other.

“I love you so much, Jacob.” She tells him, like a broken record. “I love you.”

He doesn’t remember much of anything else for those first few days. Just her. Her arms around him, her fingers in his hair. His never ending plea, “bite me.”

“We shouldn’t.” Y/N reminds him, that’s what got them here.

“Please.” Jacob never stills, restless and ready to come out of his skin. Let me be useful to you.

“Jacob, you are everything to me.” Y/N cups his face, “you’re irreplaceable. You don’t need to give me anything else.”

He pins those same gentle hands above her head, kissing Y/N rough and punishing. Stroking his thumb over the charm bracelet at her wrist. “It’s not enough.” He wants to give until there is nothing left of him.

“Jacob,” she tugs against his hold.

“Shh,” he hushes her, pupils blown, out of his mind. “Don’t do that, honey. Gonna make me phase and we’ll spend the day putting you back together.” Relax.

Y/N’s eyes roll back in her head.

He traces her lips, opening her mouth slightly, skating the pad of his index finger across her teeth. “So pretty.” He doesn’t mind her icy skin, her rigid limbs or her perfect teeth, made to sink into his neck. I love you.

Her heart aches, feeling the weight of his emotions and her own. I’m dying.

“I’m gonna make it better.” Jacob promises, “make it all go away.”

Y/N nods.

“But you have to listen to me.” Jacob insists.

Her chest heaves, sucking in an unnecessary breath to elevate her discomfort. “I can’t.” I can’t risk it, I can’t hurt you.

This is not your fault. “This would’ve happened anyway.”

The world narrows before exploding into a kaleidoscope of color.

Y/N sees Jacob, every version of him to exist dances before her eyes. Past and present all tangled into one.

A piece of paper, something they signed in blood, with shaking hands and tears in their eyes, while inhabiting other bodies. A promise, an agreement, tying their souls together. Y/N comes back to herself, to the vessel over which she reigns.

Jacob is panting, his head resting against her chest.

“Jake?" Y/N whispers, he'll always be Jacob to her. No matter the long list of names she's called him before.

"Are you ok?" He asks.

"I think so." She nods, "are you?"

————————————————————————-

The second week is better, Jacob doesn’t fight sleep and Y/N returns all her missed calls from back home.

Where are you?

When will you be back?

Are you ok?

Is Jacob is ok?

He is now and that’s all that matters.

Their escape from reality comes to an end a few days later.

“I can’t hold you hostage here forever, honey.” Jacob sighs. “Charlie is worried, I know Ness and Bella miss you.”

“I’m sure they’re doing just fine without me.”

Jacob knocks her shoulder. “I need to get back to the pack.”

“Are you sure you’re ok to go home?” Y/N whispers.

“I feel better now.” Jacob assures her, “I’m me again. You don’t need to worry.”

“I worry about you, Jacob. The other…stuff doesn’t bother me.” She’ll hardly complain if he drags her back here again to blow off steam.

He presses a kiss to her forehead, “let’s go home.”

————————————————————————

Y/N goes back to Charlie’s, spending the afternoon with her father. Attempting to explain what happened although she isn’t sure herself.

“I love ya,” is all Charlie says. “No matter what. I’m glad you’re back.” He pulls her in for a hug.

“I love you too, dad.” Y/N is careful not to squeeze him too hard. Her cell phone buzzes to life, causing them to break apart. “I need to-”

“Go,” Charlie shoos her away, turning his attention back to the game.

Y/N hurries up to her room, closing the door behind her. “Hello?”

“Y/N, it’s Sam.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Jacob is-” Sam’s voice is cut off by a tortured howl.

“Is that him?” Y/N chokes out.

“We delivered some news, he’s not taking it well.” Sam says, between gritted teeth. More whining and howling. “I think it’s best if you come.”

“Is he hurt?” Y/N is out the door, sprinting towards the reservation.

“Not physically, no. We’ll be waiting at Billy’s.” Sam ends the call.

Y/N arrives within minutes, greeted by the fur of the reddish brown wolf. He looks fine. “Jacob, what’s wrong?”

He lowers his head onto his paws at her feet.

Y/N kneels down in the dirt. “It’s ok.” She strokes a hand along his back. The muscles of which twitch with his uneven breath. “It’s ok.” She wishes she could hear him again, it’d come in handy at times like this.

He noses at her, whining low in his throat.

Y/N tries not to think about this much, what she is, what he is…what they are. As long as Y/N and Jacob exist somewhere inside the blood drinking demon and the giant wolf, she doesn’t have to think about it. But the painful truth is hard to ignore when she’s trying to envelop his towering stature with her icy arms and she can’t even hug him properly.

Jacob returns to his human form, curling around Y/N without a word.

“What happened?” She demands.

“Give me a minute, ok?” Jacob murmurs, brushing his lips against hers. “This isn’t really a conversation I want to have with you naked.”

Y/N nods, desperate to lighten the mood. “You’re right, I could get distracted.”

Jake chuckles, despite himself, “that’s not what I’m worried about.”

Sam tosses a pair of briefs and shorts down from Billy’s porch.

“Thank you,” Y/N waves. Now left to wonder how long he’s been standing there.

Sam gives a curt nod, retreating into the house.

Y/N rises to her feet, brushing dried grass from her jeans. Waiting for Jacob to finish getting dressed.

“We should go in.” Jake reaches for her hand. Crossing the threshold of his childhood home to find Sam and Billy seated at the table.

“Wanna tell me what the hell’s going on?” Y/N arches a brow.

“Sam saw what happened in Denali.” Jacob explains, resting a hand on her back.

Y/N averts her eyes. Oh.

“Apparently, the agreement we signed before we were us, is still valid.”

“What do you mean?” Y/N can’t remember what it said. This whole reincarnation thing is becoming a pain in the ass.

"It's a very old practice.” Sam explains, “I had to do some heavy lifting on our end to get any information and Billy was looking into it for years before that.”

“You knew about this?” Jacob turns to his father in disbelief.

"I had a hunch."

“And you didn’t say anything?”

Billy square his shoulders, "this is heavy, Jacob. I hoped you wouldn't have to carry it."

"So what does it mean?" Y/N asks.

“There was a treaty forged by the elders of our tribe, after making some powerful enemies. The war was long, fought until neither side had anything left to bargain with. The chief's son and the opposing tribe leader's daughter entered into an agreement, binding their blood and their souls. This covenant brought years of peace and prosperity. They built a better life on the ashes of what had been.” Billy presses on.

“These souls are called upon in times of peril, to ensure the survival of our tribe.” Sam begins pacing behind Billy’s chair.

"So all of this happened because of something we were forced into centuries ago.” Jacob spits.

“I’m sorry this happened, truly, I am. But telling you sooner wouldn’t have changed anything.” Billy says, “I wanted you to have a normal life together, to be kids. Who didn’t have to worry about the pack, the tribe, the contract-”

“You could’ve given me a heads up. Maybe I could’ve saved her!” Jacob seethes, “I would’ve had the pack run patrols, I would’ve made sure she was safe and I sure as hell wouldn’t have taken her to the movies that night.”

“Listen to yourself!” Billy slams his fist against the table. “Do you think that would’ve made her happy?”

“I don’t know about happy, but atleast she’d be alive!”

“Y/N is still here, Jacob. She’s not dead and neither are you.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

Y/N crosses both arms over her chest.

“I’m allowed to be upset when she gets hurt.”Jacob growls. “She was writhing in agony for three days and there was nothing I could do. Now her throat is on fire anytime she’s in the same room as a human. You don’t get to tell me how to feel about watching the person I love suffer! You act like I’m supposed to be grateful for it. She’s my-” lover, enemy, soulmate. “She’s my best friend.”

Billy lowers his gaze at the sound of his son’s voice breaking.

“Jacob, I’m ok.” Y/N reaches for him.

Jacob wraps his arms around her.

“I promise.”

His hand fists in her hair, clinging to her. She is fine, he can feel it, the only lingering upset is because of his pain.

Y/N rubs circles into his back.

“You weren’t mine to bargain with, I would never have agreed to this. This was signed in blood before you were born.” Billy says, “I swear to you, there was nothing you or anyone else could have done to prevent this. I couldn’t undo it, I couldn’t protect you from it…I tried.”

The room is silent.

“The imprint is what’s been throwing us off.”

“Why?” Y/N tries to peek over Jacob’s shoulder.

“If two souls are already bound, imprinting would be unnecessary.” Sam tells them. “I’ve come to the conclusion that it might be your spin on things.”

“So we do get some control over our own lives.”

“Think of it as traveling to a marked destination on the map, there’s more than one way to reach it. But you’re always going to get where you’re going.”

“And where are we going?” Jacob turns with Y/N still in his arms.

She sighs, resigned to her fate facing away from the other occupants of the room.

“The tribes agreed to bind their blood, there’s only one way to do that.” A child.

That’s why…that’s why Jacob wanted to…that’s why he- “screw the treaty.”

“Jacob,” Billy shakes his head.

“We’re not having a kid to fulfill a contract, I won’t do it.” Jacob wants to have a baby with Y/N, if and when she wants to. Not because of or for anyone else. For her, to have a family with her.

“Jacob, look at her.” Sam throws up a hand.

Jacob pulls back enough to really see Y/N. Her eyes are different, now a dark purple color, from the weeks she spent drinking only from him. “She’s fine.”

“Listen.” Sam clenches his jaw.

Jacob closes his eyes, listening carefully to the sound of her heartbeat.

Her heart doesn’t beat.

Part 13

Series Taglist: @vxidnik @remembered-license @itscheybaby @cole22ann @the-tryhard-twihard @zheezs14 @adaydreamaway08 @xcastawayherosx @moneteguiza @stinkii-boii @theatrechic26 @sylum @irrelevant-86

[dumbass-tumbler-cryptid]

Ahh I can't wait for Avatar 3! I know it probably won't happen but I would like to see Spider join the ranks of Ash's na'vi either through re-kidnapping or willingly as some kind of inside spy or ambassador for the good guys (kind of like Clarke from the 100 if you know this show). And while I'm not a fan of the idea of ​​Quaricth being romantically involved with Varang I think it would be funny to see her and Spider together since she would basically become his stepmother

I loved the idea of ash clan Spider and was having so much fun with the ideas you listed until the theories based off the D23 pic started being talked about. My friend @cyren-myadd has some great thoughts on everything and I’m also a big fan of Avatar Theory on YouTube. I was watching his break down of the Ash Clan last night and he noted that the other Na’vi in the picture with Varang don’t seem to have kurus hinting that they might cut them off and give them to Varang as a sign of loyalty. If that actually happens then that is so insane to me. This isn’t just a tribe of out casts, it’s a cult.

In the original Avatar there’s actually a deleted scene of Tsu’tey, who survives his fall, though is still very injured. He’s found by Wainfleet who says that he heard having their kurus cut off is worse then death for a Na’vi and then proceeds to cut off Tsu’tey’s. When Tsu’tey is found he makes Jake the next leader and then begs him for death which Jake gives him. I think knowing all that is what makes the idea of Na’vi willing cutting off their kurus so off putting to me. It’s not only severing their connection to Eywa, but to every loved one they could connect with, every creature they could bond with. And it’s all for Varang. That is beyond scary for me and so I don’t want my boy anywhere near that crazy cult although I know he will be.

I’m pretty certain from the set leaks we’ve gotten that at least Spider and Jake will be captured by Quaritch. So yeah Spider will definitely meet the ash clan through re-kidnapping. But I don’t think he’ll stay with them for long. The ash clan is obviously working with the R.D.A.

 We see in this image that the background ash clan are all heavily armed. They’d only get that kind of firepower from the R.D.A. My guess is that Varang wants to be all powerful and spread her cult to all the tribes. She probably doesn’t care about the great balance if her followers cut off their kurus and so she makes a deal. For their firepower Varang will let the R.D.A strip Pandora for resources.

From script and art leaks we know that a miracle will take place where Spider will be able to breath Pandoran air and possibly from the art leak have a kuru of his own.

This image has been kicking around for a while now and you can see Spider has a braid like a kuru but I’m thinking that might actually be his kuru. Now hear me out because my evidence is very tenuous for this but you see how Spider’s hair is significantly darker at the roots. Like their Jack Champions real hair color. Could just be attention to detail since some blonds do change to brunettes as the age or it could be because we’re going to lose the wig I.e all our angst fics come true and we actually do see Spider get his dreads cut off.

(Which even though I’ve written that scenario a few times I legitimately don’t want to see it happen just because I don’t want to see our boy in anymore pain)

And the only way I really see that happening is if he’s captured (like we know he will be) and experimented on by the R.D.A. They’d most definitely want to see how his kuru attaches to his brain and you can’t perform brain surgery on a patient with a full head of hair. Quaritch wouldn’t be able to just stand by and let this happen though. He cares about his son for sure but also he’s indebted to Spider for saving his life. I can see a moment mirroring the one on the rocks where Spider left Quaritch after saving him, though this time it’s Spider who was saved. Spider would be seeing his dad’s potential for change and want him to come with him but Quaritch refuses this time. He’s all out of sorts because he’s seen how crazy Varang is and has no desire to return to the ash clan but he also can’t go back to the R.D.A now that he’s betrayed them. So he just says “now we’re even,” hops onto Cupcake and flies away leaving Spider to return to Jake.

Those are all just theories though. I’m just as excited as you for Fire and Ash! Everything from D23 had me pricing out how much a weekend trip to Animal Kingdom would cost me just so I could go to the world of Pandora there. I think I’ll cry happy tears the day I finally have enough money to go and bask in the world I love so much.

Thank you so much for reaching out! 💞💞

[star-girl69]

Thinking about your poly series and ik at one point one of the kids pulled the “you’re not even my real mom” on y/n and the silence was deadly. Cue Jake fuming in the background. Bonus points if Lo’ak says it after a scolding and just clings to her for the next few days scared she’ll leave them🥰

Just thinking about the series going through a brain rot. You’re doing an amazing job!!

My Heart Never Knows

(Headcannons)

—-

a/n: surprise y’all!!! i didn’t think i was gonna do anymore mhnk headcannons but i was going through my inbox and saw this one… AND I HAD TOO 😭 i hope you all enjoy!!

warnings: none, tell me if i missed anything!!

—-

this is wild

so lo’ak probably snuck out to go be with payakan even when he wasn’t supposed to

the three of you had a whole heart attack

then he comes back and he’s like “what’s wrong?”

and jake is like “boy, you know what’s wrong.”

“all i did was go see payakan 😕”

neytiri: “AFTER WE TOLD YOU NOT TO”

and then you’re like “listen we just want you to be safe. you can’t go disobeying us like that.”

“mama it’s not that big of a deal!”

“yes it is!!! your safety is very important. i’m sorry lo’ak but… you’re grounded”

“you can’t do that!! it’s not even that serious!!”

“yes i can, im your mother”

“NO YOURE NOT”

immediate SILENCE

lo’ak is all caught up in the moment and still fuming

you were just worried for his safety and now there’s tears in your eyes

neytiri is like “i know MY SON did not just say that.”

jake’s eye is twitching.

if the kids are around-

neteyam is probably like oh no way he is gonna get beaten

kiri is like poor mama 😕 WTF LO’AK

tuk is like “huh? mama’s not our mama? MAMA WHY ARE YOU CRYING”

lo’ak storms out

neytiri holds you and tries to comfort you 🥺

jake is running after lo’ak who gets a very harsh scolding that smacks some sense into him

he’s like “oh i said that. OH I SAID THAT.”

HE FEELS SO BAD

the next day you all wake up to the smell of something burning

and lo’ak is standing in front of the hammock presenting some burned mess of breakfast

“thank… you..?”

“yeah i love you so much mama i’m so sorry for yesterday i was just mad i promise i love you”

then he’s climbing on top of jake to reach you

jake is screeching

and then lo’ak climbs on top of you and hugs you a

“you are my mom.”

AND HE’S STILL YOUR BABY LIKE 🥺

so you hug him back and he’s like

“IM SO SORRY MAMA 😭”

“ITS OK 😭”

the nest few days he is waiting on you hand and foot and every second he is attached to you at the hip

jake and neytiri actually ungrounded him bc THEY WANT TO SPEND TIME W YOU TOO 😭

“lo’ak, son, you’re ungrounded. go out”

think of the scene where jake and kiri are sitting with their legs in the water

that but lo’ak is all tucked into your side and the two of you are swapping stories about your soul siblings

“no i’m okay with mama”

—-

taglist:

@monsterwasstolen @fanboyluvr @artologia-blog1 @tulipatheticee @elvyshiarieko @fluffisalliwant @fluffi19 @jeizllz @myheartfollower

[nokiatelava]

✿✿My People✿✿

Author’s Note - Hi again! I don’t have much to say I think!! I think this one is gonna be a bit long.. Longgggg.. But I hope you all enjoy the story!

Summary - Today is the day you absolutely dreaded. You’re moving away, and your father is stepping down from Olo’eyktan. Now Awpxey’s parents had made their decision, and you’re all ears waiting for him to tell you.

Warnings - crying, mentions of a knife, mentions of a cut, kissing, actually moving, flashback from getting kidnapped, anxiety, throwing up, small fainting spells, girl having a crush on a girl, comfort

That morning, you woke up feeling heavy. Incredibly heavy.

You sighed as you continued to fake sleep, hoping to catch more of a desired slumber.

“Y/n.” You hear a voice. “Y/n, wake up.” Soon after you feel a hand come down onto your shoulder, shaking you gently.

Scrunching your face you open your eyes, your vision is blurry at first and it scares you.

It reminds you of that night all those weeks ago.

Your breath picks up more as you still could barely see.

You shot up to sit up straight, your arms coming out in front of you to feel around your surroundings.

Your body is slowly becoming more frantic and you’re panicking.

“Hey, hey. I’m right here, it’s okay, it’s okay.” Your arms are pushed down before your head is placed onto someone’s shoulder.

“D-dad?” Your voice is weak as your chest rises and fell quickly.

“I’m right here, it’s me babygirl. It’s okay.”

You closed your eyes as you reveled silently in your father’s arms. His warm hand rubbing your back up and down worked to calm you down.

“Sorry dad.. I just got scared because I couldn’t see..” You whispered embarrassingly.

“Don’t apologize for it Y/n. I know what happened that night was really, really scary.” You nodded against Jake’s shoulder, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath.

After a minute of silence you couldn’t hold it back anymore.

“I don’t wanna leave.” You let out a sob, tears falling onto the crook of your dad’s shoulder.

“I know babygirl, I know. I don’t want to leave either.” Jake’s voice became a bit shaky as he really thought about the situation.

Of course your going to be sad you have to leave. You were born here, raised here, had all of your good and bad moments here.

Because of the Sky People, you are being ripped away from your home, family, and life.

The future you had planned for yourself now is completely ruined.

Those bastards have ruined everything for you.

What they did to you that night has left you traumatized and full of scars.

A scarred state of mind and a scarred body.

You can’t go to bed peacefully at the thought of the terrors that haunt you. You can’t even wake up without a skipping heart from a simple tap on the shoulder.

“What they did to me that night wasn’t right dad.” You shook your head as the tears only fell more.

Jake only nodded, rocking you in his arms as the tears in his eyes started to spill over.

“You’re here now, and I got you. I’m not going anywhere Y/n.” You let out a small smile at your father’s reassuring words.

“I’m gonna be here to protect you always.”

“Thank you dad.” You pulled away from the hug, still smiling. “I love you.”

“I love you more Y/n.”

Jake caught sight of the remaining tears left on your sleeked cheeks, so he brought his hands to cup your face, and gently swiped his fingers under your eyes.

“He’s cleaning your tears for you just like he had done when you were a baby.” Another voice is heard from behind you, you look to see it’s your mom, a small smile on her face as she looked at the scene in front of her.

“You were always falling, scraping your knees.” Neytiri kneeled down next to you, brushing loose strands of your hair behind your ear.

“You always tried to be a little tough guy. Holding your tears and not looking any of us in the face.” Jake laughed as he recounted the many memories.

“I was just embarrassed!” You defended yourself.

“You never complain when you’re in pain Y/n, and that scares us.” You looked at your mother.

“It scares you guys?” You asked quizzically, and Jake nodded quickly. “A lot.”

You huffed as you thought about it. There has been a lot, a lot, of times where you’ve been in pain and have never said anything.

“Sorry guys..” Your ears fold down as you feel a sense of disappointment in yourself, but your parents smile as they hug you.

“Stop apologizing Y/n.” They said in sync.

Next thing you know, other hands and bodies are felt toppling onto your hug.

“Yeah sis, you should cut that out.”

“Lo’ak, I’m gonna be nice to you this once.” You sigh in warning, rolling your eyes.

After making sure you, and everyone else had their stuff.

It was now the time to do the most difficult thing in your life.

The ceremony of your father stepping down from Olo’eyktan was soon, and you couldn’t stomach it.

Your body only felt the need to churn itself more as the sight of Awpxey came into view.

Your shoulders sagged as he got closer to you.

“If you came to tell me bad news, just don’t say anything.” All Awpxey did was hug you.

And you had obviously interpreted that wrong, thinking without asking.

You wiped your eyes as your lip quivered intensely, sniffling like a wild animal.

“I’m gonna miss you so much.” Your voice was faded and broken as you shook in his hug.

“No, no, no, no, no! Y/n, Y/n I’m so sorry I didn’t mean for it to come off like that.” Awpxey moved back and held your face in his hands.

“I’m going with you.”

It was like a heaven in your ears, as if an angel was actively talking to you.

“Really? Y-you are?” You grabbed onto his forearms to keep your balance as what he said made you dizzy.

“Yes Y/n I am, I swear!” You cupped his face, bringing him into a passionate kiss.

You weren’t really thinking much about where you were while you were freely kissing your boyfriend.

You pulled away from the kiss. “Awpxey where are your parents? I-I have to say thank you to them. I have to because they’re letting you come with me and we’re going so far.”

You scratched your head as you moved away, trying to peer into the huge crowd of people who were awaiting the ceremony to start. Trying to spot Itxä and Puo.

“We’ll find them later, okay?” He pulled your hand gently from your head, holding them in both of his hands.

You looked into his eyes, smiling giddily.

“I’m excited..” You whisper, pulling your hand to cover your smile.

“I am too.” Awpxey’s ears twitched as your laugh registered in his head.

“I’m really thankful for your parents you know… For letting you actually come with me.” You swallowed as you looked down.

“You’ve gotten me to open up. A lot. And with something like this, all I need is support.” You started to nervously chew your lip as you thought carefully for your words.

“I don’t have a lot left to give Awpxey..” Your throat started to hurt as it felt like it was closing in on itself.

“If I had to be there by myself, I don’t think I would have talked ever again.” Your voice broke. “I love you a lot Awpxey. And you have done so, so much for me. And I can’t thank you enough.”

Awpxey smiled at your words, reaching his hands up and wiping your tears away. “Don’t cry for me Y/n.. I’m happy I’m going with you. I’m going to be here to support you forever.” You laughed through your tears, nodding while you wiped you eye.

“I’ve cried a lot today already.” You laugh embarrassed. Awpxey laughed, “have you?”

You nodded, “oh yeah. Started right after I woke up.” You shook your head as you wiped your hands on your loincloth.

“Today is a stressful day Y/n, it is not your fault.” You fiddled with your hands awkwardly.

“Can I have a hug Awpxey?” You physically felt like leering the other way because of the question.

Awpxey only grinned. Without a word he wrapped his arms around you, squeezing you close to him.

You returned the gesture back, letting a deep breath go as you tried to mentally prepare yourself for what was to come.

Your father looked on from afar, watching how you and Awpxey interacted.

He doesn’t know exactly how to feel.

He’s happy, happy his first babygirl has found the love from somebody she wants.

He’s angry, angry as he feels like your being taken away from him, angry as he feels like his love wasn’t enough.

He’s sad, sad as he realizes you have finally grown up, you are no longer a baby. No longer crawling around, no longer sucking your thumb, he’s no longer rocking you to sleep.

His fingers twitch as he remembers what it was like picking you up. You were the chubbiest baby out of all your siblings. Lo’ak not to far behind.

In the end, all Jake did was let out a soft, small smile.

He is happy.

Your fingers shook as you had them held tightly to your sides. Watching closely as your father stood in front of the young warrior he was passing his title over to, Tarsem.

Your heart pounded hardly in your chest, the harmonic beat loud in your ears.

You watched as Mo’at spoke, her words going in one ear and out the other.

You couldn’t stand the moment of silence, the moment of silence right before the knife Tarsem held came down to your father’s chest.

The scream Tarsem let out rattled through you. You were so jumpy, too antsy. Your eyes wide open as you looked on in a somewhat fearful way.

Awpxey’s hand came around and fell lightly onto your lower back. “It’s okay Y/n, just breathe tìyawn, breathe.” You let out a breath you had no idea you were holding.

Your father is no longer Olo’eyktan.

Your mother’s head fell as she began to cry. You were quick to wrap yourself around her, holding her head to your shoulder.

Your heart continued to pump harshly in your chest, and Awpxey stood right behind you, his hand rubbing your shoulder warmly.

You tried your hardest to hold your tears, but it was impossible.

When your father stood back up straight, wails were audible from the crowd.

The people were almost just as sad as you. The Olo’eyktan they’ve had for almost two decades now has to step down early.

Their Toruk Makto is leaving. The man who had led them to victory against the Sky People 17 years ago.

When your family approached the crowd, the people split just like the sea. Allowing your family to walk through the middle.

People turned their heads to hide their crying faces, children watched on in sadness as they had to see you leave.

Many cried.

Not only did you babysit, but you also taught a group of children.

They loved you like you were family, and you the same. So to hear their cries for you only broke your heart more.

You had to force yourself to walk forward.

Soon, you were approaching where you all were supposed to meet your ikran.

That was until you seen Itxä and Puo.

Your knees started to feel weak and you didn’t know what to do. When you finally got close enough, you were able to see their happy but saddened faces.

“Thank you so much for letting Awpxey come with us.” You look between the both of them, your hands coming to rest over your heart. “I am forever grateful.”

Itxä smiled at you, pulling you into a hug. “I know our son loves you very much. He wouldn’t have taken no for an answer regardless of what we could have said.” You both laughed, rocking in the hug.

When you separated, you turned to Puo, the small smile you had still on your face.

“Take care of yourself Y/n. Remember to take time for yourself.” You nodded at Puo’s kind words, pulling him into a hug also.

You left to give Awpxey time with his parents. So you walked towards your grandmother, who was busying herself with petting Azraa’s head.

“Grandma.” You called, playing nervously with your shawl. Mo’at turned to look at you quickly, a bitter smile on her face.

“We are leaving soon, I wanted to say goodbye one last time.” Your grandmother only nodded, her throat too dry to force words out.

“Protect yourself over there Y/n. If you need to, always separate yourself if you need time to heal.”

“Here,” she pointed to your chest, insinuating your heart. “And here.” Placing her finger directly in the middle of your forehead.

You wrapped your arms around her, hugging her tightly.

“I’m gonna miss you grandma..” You whisper, biting back the new wave of tears.

“I will miss you too Y/n.” The two of you talked for a little bit before the rest of your family finally re-grouped and Awpxey came along.

You noticed his face was red, and you knew immediately he had to have been crying. But you didn’t say anything out loud, not wanting to put him on the spot.

Though, you did brush a finger over one of his knuckles as you stood together.

Your hands intertwined when your father started speaking.

“The journey to the clan we’re moving to is a long one.” Your dad looked through all of you. “About 5 days.” Your dad sighed.

Tuk let out an exaggerated groan, “why does it have to take so long?” Jake smiled as he responded. “So we can be safe Tuk, we need to be far away from here.” His hand came down to her head, softly running his hand through her braids.

“So we won’t make it there by tomorrow?” Her childish innocence make your heart slow a bit. She still doesn’t even know what is completely going on.

“No, we won’t make it by tomorrow Tuk.” Neytiri laughed as she reached under Tuk’s armpits, picking her up.

“You want to ride with Mama?” She spoke to Tuk kindly as she walked towards her ikran, Tuk’s nods being visible from far away.

“Let’s head out now..” Your dad merely whispered, walking with his head down as he approached his ikran, Bob.

You looked at Awpxey, nodding before exchanging a quick kiss — though it was more peck like.

You all mounted your respective ikran, flying towards the edge of the forest.

When you all were far enough, you turned to see the view.

And oh my Eywa was it beautiful.

You wished you could have enjoyed the beauty under best circumstances. This will probably be the first and last time you ever get to see a beautiful, full view of your home.

You try not to acknowledge that information as you turn around on your Ikran, facing forward ready to try and embrace this change.

The journey was tough.

Some days were hard as your family had to travel through storms. You had never seen the ocean before,and you were shocked to how angry it could get. The waves would hit high, the strikes of sounds that violently percussed off the rocks when the waves hit them punched a sense of fear in your stomach.

At one point while you were flying over a rock, a very, very strong wave reached up, going past Azraa’s stomach — her whole body — which had gotten you both drenched in saltwater, and had also pulled you down towards the relentless, unforgiving sea below.

After that, you had made sure to stay clear of being too close.

On the last day of your flight, you sighed in exhaustion as your butt felt so sore, your head feeling dizzy while your stomach turned.

At least it was sunny outside.

It was early in the day, which was great because it would give the clan you’re coming to a whole day to warm up to you. You gained the knowledge that the clan’s species was Metkayina, and the village you will be asking to live in is called, Awa’atlu.

When the island had finally came into sight, all you could do was smile. The feeling of going up and down and the swaying of flying made you feel sick, although you loved to fly, it was an action that wasn’t meant to be used long.

When you had flown over the tide pools and pass some living spaces, a loud conch was blown.

Multiple times.

It felt like the vibrations were traveling throughout your whole body, your stomach dropping as a nauseous feeling crawled up your throat.

When landing, the feeling of not being in the air felt foreign, and your body leaned forward, slumping as you blacked out for 3 seconds max. Coming to, you got off your Ikran, disconnecting from the overdue Tsaheylu, making your kuru feel sore.

People gathered quickly, spears held up towards the Sun, making the dangerous weapons glint with a deceiving shine.

Your legs shook like jello as you walked, and you held onto the gear around Azraa to keep you steady. That was until a hand wrapped around your bicep, pulling you in.

Without looking you immediately laid your head against that person’s shoulder, already knowing who it was.

“Awpxey..” You licked your dry lips as you shook your head. “I feel sick. I don’t feel good at all.”

Awpxey only rubbed your back, noticing the way your skin felt clammy as he tried thinking of something to say that won’t make you feel worse.

“We won’t be here for long Y/n, we only need to be granted the permission of sanctuary, and then you can sleep.” He whispered quietly into your ear, deciding on that as he knew how tired you must feel.

You sighed, thinking negatively and wondering what would happen if you weren't granted Uturu.

What do you do then? Are you supposed to just hold through and fly for Eywa knows how long until you finally fall upon a village that will take you in?

Your thoughts were interrupted when a creature flew over the heads of your family. You didn't put effort in ducking. Your knees were too weak and you knew that the person commanding the animal was not going to hit your family on purpose.

A man had climbed of the loud screeching creature. And by the outfit and accessories he had on, he had to be the Olo’eyktan.

And he obviously was because as soon as he was close enough, your father had greeted him with his hand coming to his forehead and down with a small bow. Looking behind himself to make sure the rest of you were following him in front of the watchful eyes of the clan.

“Olo’eyktan Tonowari, Oel Ngati Kameie.”

The Olo’eyktan was kind, he looks kind, and he was quick to greet your father, and all of you back the same way.

“Jake Sully, Oel Ngati Kameie.”

As your father and Tonowari got to talking, you closed your eyes. Trying to level your breathing and calm the waves of nausea that flipped your stomach.

Your attention was taken as you heard the shuffling of sand, and an increase of the murmurs from the clan that was gathered around you.

You reluctantly peeled your eyes open, they burned from the duration of time they were forced to be held open.

You noticed the crowd parting, making way for a figure that hasn’t yet meet your sight. Though you gained an idea as you heard the melodic rattle of what seemed to have been seashells.

Your theory was proven right when a woman had exited the crowd, her pace was slow and she walked cautiously, watching every single one of you.

You could barely focus on the conversation that was happening between your parents and the clan leaders. The only thing you could do was try to ignore the way the Sun beat your back, the usual warm, sunny feeling felt dreadful as it spread an uncomfortable heat throughout your body. This only made the feeling in your stomach worsen, your face tightened, your eyebrows stiff together.

Awpxey felt it against his shoulder, and he turned to you, concerned. “Y/n?” He seen your expression, and quickly wiped a hand against your forehead, a cold sweat was the outcome against his fingertips.

“Shit.” He mumbled, “hold on for me tìyawn, please.” Awpxey adjusted your body, holding you in a way that was comfortable for both of you as he felt your body start to slack.

“Awpxey.. ‘M s-so tired.” Your teeth chattered as your eyes began to close. “Hey, hey Y/n, can you stay awake for me?” Your eyes barely moved, but Awpxey had seen that Amber yellow and was satisfied,

He ran a hand through your sweaty hair, wanting to find a place to kiss you that wouldn’t bother you.

Before he even could, the Tsahìk was standing in front of you both, she looked at you closely.

Eywa has said something to her in her heart about you, she took a liking to you. But looking at the state you were in, it tugged her heartstrings.

It… Shifted something within her.

But before any actions were made, you couldn’t hold back the bile that emitted from your stomach.

It fell right into the sand.

Right in front of the Tsahìk’s feet.

Soon after, your legs gave out, knees buckling as you fell into the sand, Awpxey falling with you while holding you close.

“I-I’m so sorry.” You chattered out.

How embarrassing…

Though after, your heart drooping to your ass as you realized this whole little thing could jeopardize your family staying here.

The Tsahìk was quick though.

“You,” she pointed to Awpxey. “Follow my healers to one of the healing maruis, I will continue here.”

You were pulled up slowly by Awpxey, as he followed two women who stepped from the crowd.

Your father looked as he seen you walk away, your legs barely strong enough to hold you up.

It made him ridicule himself.

How had he not noticed? How had he not seen you become like this when you hopped off Azraa?

His own questions floated, floated in what seems like a pit of too many things to remember and too many things to be doing.

It’s like if his brain is running out of storage, his head working up too much.

The bouncy sensations of the walkways that allowed the Metkayina to walk around their village did little, but a lot to help you.

As you walked, the bouncing gave you a bit of a cooling sensation from the warm sweat you felt breaking out on your body, but it sure as hell didn’t help that twisting feeling in your stomach.

You still felt sick.

By the time you had finally made it to the healing tents, and by the time the women had placed a good sized bowl in front of you… You had thrown up again into it, filling it up almost halfway. The healers looked shocked, but tried their best to just continue setting up whatever they needed to make a salve for you.

Awpxey held and guided your body to a free mat in the corner, trying to shade you from the Sun peeking harshly into the marui.

One of the young healers looked on at you two in a curious bewilderment. Watching the way Awpxey sweetly spoke to you and comforted you.

Is this what love looks like?

A gentle snap in front of her face was what she got as her answer.

“Aiya!” Another young healer whispered yelled the girl’s name, calling her attention and giggling at how she looked at the both of you.

“Instead of gawking, finish grinding the powder so we can add it to the medicine!” The young girl’s cheeks darkened at the word gawking.

What gawking? She wasn’t gawking was she?

“R-Right sorry! I wasn’t gawking though!” With a reluctant breath Aiya grounded the powder until it was thinner than it was before, slowly pouring and mixing it in with the medicine they were to give you.

“How about you go take it to her Eiya? Since you, you know, enjoyed staring at them earlier.” One girl joked, and even though it was supposed to be a joke. All the other girls quickly agreed, handing the medicine to Aiya before nudging her forward, and just leaving.

And leaving. Leaving. They just left, just like that. What friends they are. They know how hard it is for her to talk to strangers.

She walked hastily, trying her best to bring you the medicine to make you feel better without spilling it.

When she reached Awpxey’s back, she poked him.

“Mh.. Give this to her, have her drink it.” She held out the small bowl, and Awpxey took it gently, explaining what you needed to do before softly placing the bowl in front of your mouth.

Aiya wanted him to work quicker. She wanted to see you get better. She had this foreign, impatient urge to… Talk to you.

When you finally finished drinking the medicine, Awpxey making sure you had every last drop, you had taken a deep breath.

The twist in your stomach started to disappear, your skin started to feel less moist and finally cooled down, feeling how it usually did any day in the Sun.

“Wow..” You whispered astonished. “I feel so much better already!” You looked between Aiya and Awpxey.

“Thank you so much for that medicine, it’s really working!” You smiled at Aiya, slowly scanning your eyes around her face.

She’s really pretty.

It wasn’t said out loud, but you and Aiya had thought it at the same time as each other. But only looking into each others eyes, you both knew exactly what the other thought.

Awpxey noticed how the both of you seemed to have clicked, though he didn’t say anything, just let it play out as he noticed you and Aiya begin to smile shyly at each other.

The scene was interrupted when the Tsahìk came walking in, it was only now that you noticed her round belly. How did you not notice it earlier?

The Tsahìk’s eyes lock onto yours, and she stepped close to you. “Come, Y/n.” You were shocked at the fact she somehow even knew your name.

But you quickly didn’t care anymore, as you remembered that you were not there when the Olo’eyktan and the Tsahìk were deciding to either let your family stay, or leave.

When you finally get up, you stand next to her, impatient.

“I come to know your name now, but I forget his.” She nudges her chin towards Awpxey. “What is his name?”

Is she playing games with you? Knowing that you want to know whether you were granted Uturu or not. Yet instead she’s asking for your boyfriend’s name.

“Awpxey. His name is Awpxey.” You rush out.

She nodded, humming a quiet “hm” before she ushered him up with her hand.

“Come, let’s go.” Now you were really nervous.

Though you all paused when she turned around and faced the girl that was in the tent.

“Aiya, you come too.” You noticed how the girl’s face was at first shocked, then lit up. Her ears perked and listening as her tail swished lowly behind her.

Now it had to have been fine if she was coming too right?

You tried not to dwell on it too much as you followed the Tsahìk on the walkways, noticing you were walking deeper into the village and through the many maruis that were built over the mangrove roots.

She was leading you to a tent, right? This definitely isn’t the way you came. There’s no way she’s leading you out.

Awpxey noticed the furrow in your brow and had reached to hold your hand, holding it in that way you both found comfortable for the uneven amount of fingers you both had.

Aiya walked behind, her stomach warm as she watched the both of you hold hands.

She wants to hold your hand…

Her eyes widened as she rubbed her forehead, trying to wipe away those thoughts.

It had to be the stress and lack of sleep she has from becoming a healer. Right? Yeah, that’s it.

Suddenly, she stopped right in front of a tent not to far from the edge of the walkways.

The ocean was not too far, and the view looked so beautiful from where you stood.

When you had looked into the tent, before your foot even hit the floor of the inside, your father was rushing towards you.

“Y/n,” his hands came to your cheeks, holding your face and examining you lightly. “You feeling okay?” His tone only held worry as his eyes stayed focus on you.

You nodded with a small smile. “I’m okay dad, swear.”

His eyebrows dropped in relief, a breath exiting his mouth. “I’m sorry for not noticing babygirl, I’m sorry.” You shook your head, grabbing onto one of his hands on your face.

“It’s okay dad, it really is. You’re stressed, I know you are. And this really came out of no where, the sickness. Either way, I feel so much better now, promise.”

With a small smile, you held out your pinky, joining it with your dad. A happy little tradition your father taught you and the rest of your siblings.

Neytiri watched on behind your father with a smile. Watching how you and your father slowly started to get closer emotionally and bond more.

It made her happy, knowing that you want to be with the family more often.

Eywa knows how broken Jake was when you had separated yourself from everyone and everything at the ripe age of 12.

When you walked deeper into the marui, you thought it was beautiful. It was definitely different, something you were not used to.

But you knew that life comes with change. And with change comes adaptions and arranging.

You took a deep breath, looking around smiling at everybody. It was really pretty in here, and the floor felt good against your feet.

Neteyam huffed a small laugh as he walked past you. “I guess Y/n likes it.” You laughed as you bumped his shoulder as he walked by.

When you turned back to the entrance, the Tsahìk and Aiya were gone.

About an hour later, when you all were almost done with placing your belongings down and putting your stuff down to sleep, your dad called a ‘Sully Family Meeting’.

Lo’ak must have known because he was a hair away from successfully leaving the tent before Neteyam chased him out, and pulling him back in.

Kiri had an attitude as Neytiri called her, responding with a moody, “what”. As she sat down.

Tuk kneeled over a covered crate next to Jake, playing with her fingers as she took deep breaths.

After a moment of silence your dad had gotten serious. “I need you kids on your best behavior, I mean it.” He looked through all of you.

“Learn fast, pull your weight.” He looked straight into Lo’ak’s eyes as he said. “Don’t cause trouble, got it.”

Lo’ak responded with a ‘yes sir’ as he knew the demand was targeted towards him.

Neteyam chuckled before he reached over, squeezing the base of Lo’ak’s neck, pulling his hand back when Lo’ak hissed to him.

Lo’ak receiving a side-eye in return.

Though you didn’t pay much attention to that as Tuk spoke up, tears in her eyes as she stated she wanted to go home.

“Aw Tuk.” Your mother looked at her with sorrow, the same sorrow she felt in her heart.

Jake took her hand, holding one of her fingers. “Tuk.. This is our home now.” He paused before a spoke again.

“Now, we’re gonna get through this.” He nodded surely, Neytiri following along also.

“We’re gonna get through this if we have each others backs, alright?” Your mother cut in, adding a quiet, “what does your father always say?”

Hesitantly looking around, waiting for someone else to speak, you all said. “Sully’s stick together.”

Though it was all out of sync..

Your dad nodded, “yeah that’s right Sully’s stick together.” He looked at Neytiri before turning back to look at all of you.

“Now this time with some feeling, yeah?” Within a few seconds you all were repeating the quote, “Sully’s stick together”, a bit louder.

Although it was still out of sync, the effort from the rest of you was present.

Kiri was doing her own thing while she said it though. You could tell that she was feeling really dejected by moving away from the forest. Hell you were too, but you tried to tune your mind to accepting that there was no changing this.

Like your dad said, this is our home now.

As the rest of the day passed, you wondered what nightfall looked like around the village. You stayed around the exit of the marui, watching the sky as it darkened little by little.

Eclipse looked the same as it did from the forest — and that made you smile — though the environment was obviously different.

You wondered if sleeping here would feel more relaxing, since you’ve always heard people fall asleep to the sounds of the ocean. You decided on just not thinking about so you’ll be more patient. You couldn’t wait to see for yourself.

Falling asleep was not easy.

Though the sounds of the ocean moving directly under your new home was nice, it was.. So different.

You weren’t entirely used too it, at all.

You know it’s going to take a while to adapt.

The next morning after a quiet breakfast, the Olo’eyktan and Tsahìk’s son and daughter, Ao’nung and Tsireya came to retrieve you and your siblings to begin training they had a friend with them, you heard his name to be Rotxo.

And you had noticed the pretty healer was with them to, Aiya was her name right?

When you approached the waters edge, the four of them dived in, you and Awpxey looking quickly at each other before diving in next.

When you had opened your eyes under water, you were shocked, entranced at the beauty that was fulfilled in the ocean.

It was beautiful. So beautiful.

You could get used to this, you smiled. Oh definitely.

Awpxey and Aiya quietly stared, looking at you and how your beauty and essence seemed to mix in with the Sea of Pandora.

Looking over at Awpxey, you smiled, a few bubbles coming out your mouth as you reached your hand out to him. He took it happily, and you pulled him down towards the sea floor, deciding on wanting to look closely at the small animals that swam about.

Tsireya watched Aiya look at you and Awpxey attentively before she made a small clicking noise with her mouth, making Aiya turn to her.

Tsireya signed a worried ‘are you okay’ to her, waiting for an answer.

Aiya nodded quickly, signing back ‘I’m okay! Just looking at them, they are so cute together!’ Her face turning to a light shade of purple, though Tsireya only seen it as the waters reflection.

One thing about Aiya, she was good at playing certain things off.

Tsireya nodded happily in agreement before turning around and swimming off to catch up to the other siblings.

Aiya turned to the direction you and Awpxey were before, though she was only met with the sight of coral, a slight frown forming on her face.

That was before she had gotten a plan.

You were ecstatic, the little specimens that passed you and Awpxey every second made you kick your feet harder to swim with them, being careful touching certain things as you don’t know what’s good or what’s bad yet.

Your head turned quickly when you seen a certainly big figure move in your peripheral. You looked closely to see it was hair flowing as someone swam around.

From the outfit you could see it was Aiya, you swam towards her, going to her front to wave happily at her. Awpxey catching up a few minutes later as he was playing with a snail.

Aiya waved to the both of you, a smile on her face as she started moving her hands in a foreign motion.

Was it sign language? This looks a bit different though… You had learned the basics of sign language when you were younger and would visit Hell’s Gate with your father, but that was American Sign Language.

Was she signing in Na’vi? Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you tried to decipher what she was saying.

She seemed to notice your confusion and pointed up to the surface of the water, and made a ‘come’ motion.

You nodded, kicking up to the surface and taking a deep breath as you reached the top.

She popped up next, then Awpxey. Keeping yourself afloat you had asked her, “is that sign language? What you had used while we were under?”

She nodded, “it was! Sorry for just thinking you understand right away.” You shook your head, smiling. “It’s okay, when I was younger I was taught sign language but never in Na’vi, I only know the basic stuff in English.” You giggled.

She laughed too, “I should teach you! Well, if you want me to? It might be useful.” She looked at you, waiting for you to say what you think.

“No, yeah definitely! That would be great!” You agreed immediately. Aiya looked a bit shy as she brought her hand slightly out of the water, pointing lightly behind you to Awpxey. “And him? Does he want to learn too?”

Looking behind yourself, you seen Awpxey staring up at the sky his eyes scrunched from the Sun as you can tell he was looking at the clouds.

You turned back towards her, laughing. “He’s a bit dumb, but I think he’ll like learning.” She smiled, nodding. “Let’s go to those group of rocks over there, there is a few more things you need to learn, like breathing.”

Following her, you had to turn around to bring Awpxey as he stayed looking at the sky, messing with him you pulled his hair, making him gasp as he attempted to chase you.

As Aiya stood on the rocks, she was able to see how quickly you were able to evade Awpxey in the water.

Laughing and out of breath you climbed onto the rock she was standing on, you paused as you seen her hand outstretched, but you grabbed it just in time because when she pulled you up Awpxey appeared right where you were.

Your heart was pumping amd you held your hand over it as you realized where he was. “He almost grabbed me Aiya, you saved me.” She was smiling amd nodding, but her heart felt like it was about to fall through her rib cage.

You were still holding her hand.

The cool water that was dripping from her hair to her body did nothing to cool down her skin that was beginning to grow hot.

When Awpxey was now trying to climb up the rock, she held out her hand again, acting without thinking. She was close to letting out a squeak as Awpxey clapped his hand against hers, the both of them pulling at each other to get him on the rock.

You knew.

You knew you were still holding her hand, and you swung her hand back and forth in yours, letting her know you were fully aware.

“Hey Aiya?” She turned to you, her neck stiff as tried to ignore her hand swinging together with yours. “Yeah Y/n?”

“Can we all swim a bit more? I really like how it looks underwater.” You smile shyly.

“Of course!” She nodded, you don’t have to ask me, let’s go.” You skipped excitedly to the end of the rock, making sure there wasn’t any other ones you looked at the two of them.

“Let’s jump at the same time!” Awpxey nodded quickly, tightening his hold on Aiya’s hand before lining all of you up.

Aiya’s heart was going through an overdrive. What is even happening?

After a quick countdown she was now submerged, which put her back into reality quick. Swimming through the water she found you in front of her, swimming towards the ground again.

She noticed you liked playing with the coral, running your hands over the bumpy edges and following the small fish that swam by.

After swimming around and playing for a bit, there was a clicking noise heard underwater. From what you could decipher it sounded like an animal, so you looked around curiously, expectantly.

The clicking didn’t raise anything for alarms, the clicking sounded sweet, almost as if it were only calling out. Trying to track where it was coming from, you spotted something move underwater,

You squinted your eyes quickly trying to focus, it went behind a big section of coral that wasn’t too far from in front of you, so you swam toward it.

Several seconds passed, and then a creature, almost as resembling as an ikran came from around the corner.

Your eyes widened in excitement as a smile pulled onto your face.

The animal swam towards you, gliding through the water gracefully as it approached you, placing its face close to yours, making you “cheek”-cheek with the still clicking animal.

In this moment you were beyond ecstatic, seeing a sea creature this beautiful approach you so calmly and swim around you as it nuzzled itself into your cheek.

You noticed the animals Tsaheylu pocket and gripped it gently, grabbing your queue from behind your head before you connected them softly.

Tsaheylu underwater was no joke, you almost swallowed gallons of water trying to get used to the familiar though unfamiliar sensation that was passing through your nerves system.

Testing, you gave the soft direction to swim up to the surface, and up you went, put not blazing fast. The animal pulled you at a soft but firm pace, bringing you to the oceans top like you had asked.

As you surfaced, you gasped for air before letting out an excited squeak. Looking around for any signs of Awpxey and Aiya also resurfacing. When they popped out of the water next, they both had huge thrilled smiles.

“Y/n!” They called out at the same time before swimming to you, racing somewhat.

“Guys! Guys! Look it! Look what I got!” The creature you still did not know the name of spun you on its back, letting out its own excited trills of sounds.

“Good job Y/n! The way it approached you so easily, she sensed you!” Aiya subconsciously reached for your hand. “She sensed your kind energy and strong heart.” Aiya rambled with a smile. Awpxey swam up next to the both of you, placing his hand on your knee. “Good job Tìyawn, see? You always claim you are not that special, but here we are!”

You thanked him, looking down at the creature with a shy smile, a blush accompanying your face. “What are they called?” You looked up to Aiya, softly petting the creature’s rough skin.

“They are called Ilu. A common sea animal used by many of the Metkayina for hunting, traveling and such.” You nodded, listening intently.

“They are so beautiful..” You whispered, silently admiring the eye of your Ilu, that was before she squeaked, showing her excitement.

Mid-day was approaching, and swimming for hours on end left you starved. So for lunch you and your family returned to your maruì.

For Aiya though, she thought it as unfortunate that you and Awpxey had to part ways with her.

Was it selfish? Somewhat, right?

She shook the thoughts in her head away as she was telling herself you both had to leave. Obviously to eat and nourish yourself so she can see you.

After you completely inhaled your lunch as you bragged and raved about how you tamed an Ilu, you happily stepped out your new living space.

Squinting your eyes against the Sun, you all walked to the area you agreed to meet Ao’nung and Tsireya at, you didn’t fail to see the way Lo’ak’s slouched shoulders straightened quickly once she came into view.

Hm. You tried to hold in a smile as you looked at the back of his head.

Looks like Lo’ak’s got a crush.

The rest of the day was spent learning how to properly hold your breath, learning more facts about the Ilu you are learning to ride, and information and traditions of the Metkayina.

As eclipse started to approach everyone headed home.

Everyone but you, Aiya, and Awpxey.

All the way until the stars infiltrated the sky, the three of you sat and talked about any and everything.

Maybe adapting won’t be so hard.

Hi everyone! Thank you so much for reading all this!! I did say it was going to be a long one, but I hoped you enjoyed it! Sorry for taking so long to update!! Two months? I’m actually sorry because during those 2 months I have gained many followers and I feel like I’m not doing much! So this is me back in commission!! Also, how do you guys feel about Aiya? How should I continue with her? But anyway! Thank you for reading 🤍!!

[compacflt]

your last post abt icemav vs. interior design has me cry laughing and also makes me want to ask: how does rooster (millennial gay man, fairly good at being open about his sexuality in comparison to the the environment he came from) feel about being one-uped in the gay department constantly by Mr. and Mr. Can’t Talk About It?? like him and jake have to have conversations about it [jake, meeting ice the first time: oh this is the gayest man i’ve ever met. he had everyone fooled for thirty years???? // bradley: “yeah but you didn’t have to grow up with him. i was on the front lines.] like—they were willing to get married at the same time as icemav as a distraction, so they have to be aware of how groundbreaking icemav is to the structural appearance of the Navy. but they’re also fully immersed in Navy culture and customs, so are civilian gay people even surprised??? do they care??? or is everyone collectively reading through twitter like ���gay men in navy? okay fork found in kitchen 🙄 who cares.”

this is all just a long way for me to ask if icemav is easier to pick up on/less surprising if you’re gay. bradley clocked them early because he was in close quarters with them constantly, but he’s also gay—in comparison, slider knew ice for years, but only added it up when it was way too obvious to ignore. and to other straight people they seem to be at an Ethan Hunt level of undercover, but are they really??? (this is kind of a dumb question so feel free to do whatever you want with it lol)

see i feel like i haven’t been writing them very obviously clockingly gay at all! i actually feel like it would piss Jake and bradley off how STRAIGHT ice & mav act all the time!

1st excerpt from post-marriage, second excerpt from a scene that got deleted from WWGATTAI chapter 9, wherein compacflt ice approves the promotion of a fictional “first female admiral to be married to another woman” and then runs into her at a DOD Xmas party and chats about gay marriage for a bit out of curiosity… (deleted bc chapter 9 was already 9.5k words) like it is still a secret even if they aren’t actively trying to keep it secret anymore

but you’re right hold on. here’s christmas 2017

[lookismaddict]

Lookism Chapter 431 Memes/Thoughts I Have:

(SPOILERS !!! I don’t own any of the Lookism panels and the translations. Only the memes that I made.)

Sorry for the late post, I had no idea that I was going to be a bit busy today. 🙏🏽 BUT GOD, THE SUSPENSE WAS KILLING ME FROM THE LAST CHAPTER. LET’S SEE WHO THE NEWEST MEMBER IS… 👀

I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!!!!! 😫😫😫😫

AND LOOK AT HIM, WEARING THE SAME CLOTHES AS TAESOO MA!!!! 😳 I think it was pretty obvious because Daniel Park did say that they’ll meet each other again.

HE’S EVEN WEARING THE SAME COAT AS TAESOO MA!!! And THAT’S the reason why he decided to join? Understandable. Eli Jang will eventually get his wake up call in the future. 😬

I miss this type of interaction between Jay and Daniel. It reminds me of the older Lookism chapters when they used to go to school and Daniel used to be the mediator. I’m just glad that we get to see Jay and Daniel together again, regardless if it’s Daniel in his OG body. 😭💞

OHHHHHH YEAHHHHHH, THE BADASSES ARE IN BUSINESS. ALL IN ONE CREW. 😎✨

ZACK BAHAHAHAHAHAHA. THIS HAD ME LMAAAAOOOOOO WHAT A MOOD.

BRUH. THESE PANELS OF SAMUEL BEING AN INSANE GOOF IS KILLING ME. 💀💀💀 HELP-

I honestly feel bad for him. He's been injected like TWICE so far. Wthhh 😭

OHHHHHH MY GOD. THAT TRANSITION???? HELLO??? IT’S ONE OF OUR FAV BLONDES!!!!! AHHHHHH I’VE BEEN WONDERING WHERE HE’S BEEN ALL THIS TIME. 

PLEEEEASE, THE WAY HE’S WEAK FROM SHOTS BUT NOT WEAK FROM FIGHTING ANYONE.

THE BABY BAND-AID, I- SDHFJSDHFSJDFJSD HE’S SUCH A BABYYYYYYY. AHHHHHHHHHHH I CAN’T. 

BROOOOO LOOK AT THIS FOOL. HE’S ALL GUCCI-ED OUT BRUH LIKE DAYUUUUUUM. His outfit could pay off my rent. (God, simping for this man is like a guilty pleasure. sheesh)

UMMMMM SIR. YOU’RE SAYING ALL OF THIS IN FRONT OF A DOCTOR????? Realistically, he’d call the police. Unless, if he’s affiliated with HNH Group or The Workers, thennnn... that’s probably why? IDK ANYMORE LMAO.

Also, tell me why I thought he was Seongjun Baek from Viral Hit for a second. 😂😂😂😂

Ummm... Are y’all REALLY going to talk about this right now?

WHILE YOU TWO ARE FALLING???????? 😰

Jake Kim, the GOAT. HE’S SUCH A GOOD GUY, AHHHHHHH. WE DON’T DESERVE JAKE. 😭😭😭😭 God, he’s such a kind soul. ❤️

She’s pretty and all, but I still resent her for what she did when she was still with the Workers. 😤

E W. LMAAOOOOOOOO NO.

PTJ really drawing pretty panels out here. 

EWWWWWWW x2 LMFAAAAOOOOOO. GET FUCKED.

THIS IS SUCH A PRETTY SCENE ASDHFKJASDHFHJSDHF. DISNEY PRINCESS, WHO???? (Even though, I wouldn’t consider her as one because... yk... Wow, I really have mixed feelings about this.)

I guess they have their own “happy ending” even though Vivi doesn’t really deserve it imo lol. 

JAMES LEE ALWAYS BE POPPIN WITH STYLE. HE SERVIN!!! 💅🏽

BRUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. PTJ REALLY GIVING US THESE ANGLES MAN. WTFFFFFFFFFFF???? BRO I CAN’T IMAGINE HOW THE JAMES LEE FANS MUST HAVE FREAKED OUT OVER THIS PANEL. HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA IM SOBBIN. 💀💀💀💀💀💀 (like, “Yes sir, let me sit on your lap.”) 

For the James Lee simps: If you were to be there watching, what would you do? 😈

LMFAAAAOOOOOOO HE LOOKS SO FUNNY SITTING THERE, LEANING ONTO THAT LOW ASS CHAIR. WHY IS HE LEANING BACK LIKE THAT? BRUH I’M DEAD. 😭😭😭💀💀💀💀💀 HE LOOKS LIKE HE NEEDS TO TAKE A SHIT DURING THIS MEETING WITH EUGENE, SO HE HAD TO LEAN BACK JUST TO HOLD IT IN HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Ayo Eugene, you better tell him once he does his part of the deal. No games pls, bc you play too much. 😘

[heartsofminds]

at least i let the light in - sneak peek

“Hope. Something he’s not felt in a while. The thought tickles the corner of his mouth into a smirk, but it disappears as soon as his brain registers what’s happening.” or Bradley Bradshaw sees a therapist after the worst breakup of his life. An epilogue in tandem with ‘cause no one breaks my heart like you.

TW: brief mention of therapy, brief mention of suicide, alcohol and drunkness. please feel free to bypass this if you are uncomfortable with these topics.

A/N: hey guys!! first of all, i’m SO thankful for all your support and kind comments about ‘cause no one breaks my heart like you. i’ve been debating writing an epilogue because i don’t want it to be one of those things where she automatically forgives bradley and everything is back to normal because that’s not realistic and def not what she deserves. i also wanted to dive deeper into bradley’s headspace to give you guys some sort of finality and closure. this piece is certainly not finished, but it will be hitting your dashboards soon so for now, please enjoy this little tidbit! 

Somewhere in Between

The small aquarium sitting next to him blows soft circular bubbles of air into the blue-toned water. The starfish on the side of the tank glues itself tightly to the glass; the tubed feet wave at him and invite him to, “Come closer, closer, closer. Your secret is safe with us.” 

The still frame of a scene from Finding Nemo flashes and is gone as soon as he thinks of it. He had never watched the movie fully anyway. It was put on the TV screen one night after too many glasses of wine and ended with lazy fucking on his couch and sloppy attempts at a hickey on the column of his throat. 

He shakes his head to dislodge the thought of Finding Nemo and the starfish and the hickey. If he shakes hard enough, he figures that you’ll fall out of his brain too. His eyes glance towards the blue carpet. On the floor near the waste basket lies a pack of gum that narrowly missed the trash. He recognizes the teal packaging anywhere, and once again, the memories of you come running back in full swing. 

He’ll never get rid of you. After all, you’re the reason why he’s here. Right? Blaming you about why he feels so horrible doesn’t make it real anymore. Right? 

You’re wrong and you know it. 

The angel and devil on his shoulders never shut up nowadays. He knows that there’s some moral complexity fighting to reveal itself to him when they both start to say the same thing. 

The air inside the office is chilly. He usually likes being colder than normal, but this is the kind of cold that feels sterile. Unpolluted. Untouched by any trace of human life. It’s the kind of cold that makes your toes numb through your shoes, and he has to wonder if he’s actually cold or if it’s a side effect of numbness - of being so ensorcelled in a conglomeration of emotions that he feels nothing at all. 

It wasn’t his idea to see a therapist. 

He honestly wasn’t even considering going when his friends ambushed him with the idea. He was drunk and some pieces of what happened are missing; some of the audio cut out from conversations he was having and faces and names jumbled up in a big ball of color that he can’t pick apart for the life of him. He remembers Jake saying something along the lines of, “We’re not gonna babysit you and watch you kill yourself.” (Certainly not exactly what was said and kind of harsh, but Hangman has never been anything less than blunt.) 

He remembers seeing a mosaic of faces and he’s pretty sure a group hug thrown in there somewhere between the events that led to him laying face first on Phoenix’s couch and waking up in her sunlit living room the next morning. 

What he does remember is hearing Phoenix cry in her bedroom. 

Phoenix cries in the solitude of her own home, she had told him before. And she was never home and was always around people, so Bradley took the context clues of what he observed and what she had said to mean that she wasn’t a crier. Not that she didn’t cry or want to, anyway, but just that she didn’t because she was never able to do it comfortably. 

But hearing her stifle her cries to not wake him up was heart-wrenching, and he knows that to make Phoenix cry is to hurt her so deeply that she has no other choice. 

So that’s how he ended up here in a blue-hued office in a brown leather chair with a menacing-looking starfish observing him as he twiddles his thumbs. 

The therapist he’s seeing is hard to read, but has kind eyes. His dark skin glows in the sliver of sunlight offered by the window. His graying beard places him in his late fifties, early sixties, maybe. 

The framed pictures of ship carriers and midshipmen in dress whites tell the story of a fellow Navy man. Bradley learns that he was a Captain, just like Maverick, and that his name is Charles. 

He figures that the intake questionnaire the receptionist made him fill out did more than gauge how screwed up inside he feels. 

He hopes that they’ll be a good match. 

Hope. Something he’s not felt in a while. The thought tickles the corner of his mouth into a smirk, but it disappears as soon as his brain registers what’s happening. 

You’re smiling. Actually smiling. That’s the angel talking. 

What the fuck is there to be happy about? The devil speaks up. 

So much for him thinking they were on the same page. . .

“Bradley,” Charles starts, “I don’t want this to feel so. . .”

“Scary?” he finishes, “My mom put me in therapy when I was six. I know how this goes.” 

Charles offers him a soft smile. “Sterile,” he corrects, “I was going to say sterile, but I guess scary can come to mind too. It’s your session. I’m just here to listen.” 

He gives a soft snort through his nose. The therapist he had seen in college was never this relaxed. 

“Well,” he begins to speak before chewing on his lip. 

Fuck. What does he even say?

[jakesuit0]

Conquest of Cuteness Review

“Conquest of Cuteness” is the least impactful and most mundane season premiere Adventure Time has ever put out. The last two season premieres weren’t part of some grand season arc either, but “It Came From the Nightosphere” pushed the series to new heights. “Slumber Party Panic” obviously introduced a lot of key components of the series, and we’re pretty close to its sequel episode. The plot of this season premiere, and the characters it introduces, don’t ever get further explored. This is as standalone as an episode gets for Adventure Time, even more standalone than most season three episodes. It could have aired during any part of the season. Adventure Time isn’t promising a big overarching story yet, so it’s not a big deal. But, after how good last season’s premiere was, and given the cliffhanger from “Mortal Recoil”, the season certainly could have had a stronger start. Judging it as a normal episode, it’s really good! Which is all it really needs to be at this part of the series.

The opening scene is very cute, I love it when episodes start with Finn and Jake just singing a silly little song. Pretty good introductory scene to the season, just reestablishing what our boys are all about. The everything burrito is a pretty well known iconography from the series, and is the first of many times we see Jake enjoying a bizarre combination of foods. We meet the Cute People. They’re impossible to take seriously, with Finn and Jake happily posing for BMO’s camera with them, ignoring their threats of evil.

Jake is worried about the Cuties, thinking they poisoned his burrito. As Finn comforts him, Jake tells him that he reminds him of Margaret. We haven’t seen Finn and Jake casually mention their parents much, but it’s nice to see that they’re on their minds. It’s also cool to see Jake viewing Finn as a source for comfort, as opposed to the other way around, for once. They are woken up by the intruding cute people, who are holding Jake’s sword from “Tree Trunks”. I like that Finn and Jake are now on the same page about the cute people being a nuisance, instead of arguing the entire episode. The cuties taunt them by pretending to be Margaret’s ghost. It was already obvious, but this is the first hard confirmation of at least one of their parent’s death. We’re getting just a little light shed on Finn and Jake’s early childhoods. 

The cute people charge towards the treehouse in the morning, but all end up tripping over, exploding, or my favorite, getting picked up by a duck. I still think this sequence could be more creative and funny, then just most of them falling down and tripping. They are definitely the most incompetent villains Finn and Jake have ever faced, which works when we aren’t supposed to take them seriously. Finn and Jake watch Cute King’s scolding of his men, which results in them all crying, which is very funny. Finn decides they need to lose to them on purpose to get them to stop, which is not something I’m sure Finn would have done in season 1. 

I love the transition of Finn saying he’ll call all their friends for an army to a shot of Jake sitting with BMO, Cinnamon Bun, Lumpy Space Princess, and a random duck. Only the dumbest of Finn and Jake’s friends bothered to come. You couldn’t pay Marceline and Bubblegum to give a shit about this. Cinnamon Bun is probably the only person in Ooo who could lose to the cute people, falling over before even any of the cuties manage to. This also gives us the first Cinnamon Bun and LSP interaction. The storyboarding does a good job tricking you into thinking the cute people have formed into a giant monster, only to reveal they are still only two feet tall. Finn dramatically pretending to die as he squirts ketchup everywhere is great, the Cuties too stupid to catch on. Not even Jake can take this shit seriously anymore, he just dances. Adding on to this delightfully bizarre and silly scene, Cinnamon Bun enjoys getting a faceful of ketchup while LSP can’t help but use this as an opportunity to make it about romance and drama, dying from a heartbreak. It’s topped off by Cute King’s iconic victory dance, causing Jake to burst out laughing, revealing their hoax. 

Finn causes Cute King to become a true villain, sending him to use his cuteness to control others. Sending him to be Ice King’s problem is a good ending, and he doesn’t seem to mind!

This one has a very simple plot and I like not taking it seriously. I’m just along for the ride of nonstop silliness. There’s a lot of nice smaller moments throughout this one (I love Jake mistaking the blanket for a dead, bloody goat).

Grade: A-

[marmolady]

Pick Up The Pieces: Part Two (Grace x Aleister)

Main Pairings: Graleister time!

Summary: During Book Three. Aleister and Grace are back with their friends, but his betrayal hangs over them both.

Part One may be found here!

Word Count: 3144

Notes: Yeah, this took a little while. I get there eventually, though! In my defence, since writing Part One I moved interstate, and also, I have a baby. That shizz is tiring, dudes. So, if anyone actually reads my stuff anymore, here's Part Two! This one has Estela in it.

I always LOVED the diamond scene where the MC sees through Raj's eyes... and gives some romantic advice to poor old Al. I couldn't not reference that here!

Tagging: @saivilo, @edgydepressedchoicesthot, @sceptilemasterr, ​@mauvecatfic @rhemenway888

Thanks for reading! Comments and re-blogs make me EXTRA happy. Talk Endless Summer to me, people.

_______________________

“To think we’ll somehow all make it back home alive when we must be placed at his mercy to do so… it’s madness. It’s all we have, but it’s madness.”

Huddled together in a tent taken from the Arachnid vehicle, Aleister looked to Grace, and she appeared so small… scared.

“I’m sorry,” he sighed. “I wish I wouldn’t frighten you with my pessimism.” Can’t you do anything right? He wrapped his fingers around her own, and brought them to his lips so he could gently kiss her. “A fool’s errand it might be, but for you… well, I’ll find a way to come through.”

“That’s my Al.” Grace snuggled into him, so easily enveloped in his much longer frame. “We have your mom on our side as well.”

Aleister felt his breath catch in his throat. “Yes.”

What was left of his mother. A mere shadow, a holographic slave.

“I can’t shake the thought that he was behind her death… somehow. We certainly know now that he’s capable of murder.”

And that was who they were dealing with here. The one person they had on their side was under his control, programmed to obey, however she might fight it. Not only that, but thanks to Lila, his father would already know full well what their group was seeking. They didn’t have a hope. They didn’t have a bloody….

“Aleister.”

There was so much warmth in Grace’s eyes. Care… soft and genuine. The intelligence in her gaze had drawn him in, but it was the kindness that held him captive. Having never known anything like it-- well, not since losing his mother far too young-- to feel it from her had left him helplessly addicted. Grace was, quite simply, what was good in the world. A shining beacon in the darkness.

“I’m terrified of losing you,” he said meekly. “At all costs, I… I will keep you safe.”

Grace leaned in and tenderly kissed his lips. “And I’ll keep you safe. You don’t believe you deserve happiness-- I know that-- but you do. Trust in us. Trust our friends-- after all that we’ve done together what can’t we do? We’re going to get back home.”

Aleister looked into those eyes, more beautiful than the sun hitting the rolling sea at the end of a summer's day, holding more intelligence than he was certain he could ever fathom. If there was one thing he knew, it was that he’d die before he let his father take this feeling from him.

It was hard to imagine Grace would ever look at him like that again. The wedding crisis had been averted, and with no dilemma to be solved acting as a distraction, the weight of his actions came crashing down once more. Aleister couldn’t remember feeling so awkward a social setting-- and that was him.

Tentatively, he’d tested out where he stood with his friends. Well, former friends in some cases. Michelle was still cold. Craig and Zahra both seemed to have accepted him back relatively well, something he hadn’t expected. Taylor was effusive, and Estela appeared to be pointedly avoiding him… probably not a good sign. But Sean and Raj treated him as a friend, as though nothing had happened. Quinn, Diego and Varyyn were all a  little strained with it, but had made friendly overtures too. Jake… Aleister hadn’t come into close contact with since returning to the present, but his hopes were not high.

And then… Grace. She had snapped at him a couple of times after they arrived in the past-- deserved, of course. Mostly, though, he’d catch her eye and she just appeared so profoundly sad. As though the anger had passed, and what was left was something even deeper.

Having freshened up inside the manor, Aleister walked outside towards where the rest of the group was gathering to eat, and in the doorway almost collided with Estela heading in the opposing direction.

She huffed a “Watch it,” and made to carry on.

“Estela--”

Perhaps it foolish, but Aleister found himself wanting his approval more than most of the others. Back in college-- another world away now-- he’d seen something of himself in her. She was an outsider, quiet and intelligent. Unlike him, she had a tendency towards extreme violence, but knowing what he did now, he didn’t much blame her.

Her eyes flashed dangerously. “I don’t believe you have anything to say to me. Bastardo traidor. Vete a la mierda!”

He should have backed off. Aleister knew he should have backed off. But ‘traitor’? Everything had been to keep them safe. Everything. He’d been wrong, but how was his intent so badly lost still?

“Don’t you realise that I was never on my fa--” Even in his rising anger, the word hurt far too much to utter. “That I was never on his side? My failings I’ll admit to gladly, but wavering loyalty is not among them.”

“Then congratulations,” Estela said softly, a snarl of a sound, “your stupidity almost wiped out everyone left on this earth who cared about you. What do you want, a pat on the back?”

“I may have been an idiot, but I know that much! I promise you couldn’t possibly loathe me for that fact any more than I do myself.”

Estela turned away, frowning deeply. “Well, you’ve made it clear where you stand now. There’s no crawling back to Daddy from here.” When she looked back at him, her eyes were afire. “I’ll accept that you’re an ally, but don’t you fool yourself into thinking you could ever be a friend to me after what you did.”

She spat the words at him with such venom that Aleister took a stumbling step backwards.

“I think that’s quite plain, Estela.”

“Good,” she said, calm, as though she’d caught herself on the verge of letting her feelings get the better of her.

Then she stalked away without a word more.

Aleister swayed slightly on the spot. Ridiculous, he thought, that he let it hurt so much. The belonging he’d felt was so new to him, he shouldn’t have gotten attached to such a feeling. It could never have lasted.

“Al?”

He nearly jumped out of his skin. Turning hastily, there was Grace coming up behind him.

“Estela doesn’t speak for everyone, you know,” she said quietly. “You have friends here-- people who care for you and forgive you.”

Hunching his shoulders self-consciously, he avoided eye contact. “If that brute spoke for everyone, I’d have twelve spears protruding from my chest already. It’s no matter. It’s just what she’s like. Aggressive.”

Grace’s expression hardened. “Estela’s justified in what she feels! You knowingly left her at the mercy of the people who murdered her mother. She’s not a brute-- she’s a human being who’s been hurt badly. By you!”

If Aleister had been sheepish before…. For one so tall, he somehow cowered and shrunk into something so small even beside Grace’s diminutive figure.“I know-- I know! And I can keep saying it until I’m blue in the face; I could not see another way of us getting out of this alive. I didn’t want to….”

“I know. It doesn’t automatically just… make everything better, but… I know.”

The sadness in Grace’s sweet face broke him. The last person he’d ever, ever wanted to hurt…. So blinded by the fear of it, he’d not protected her from any threat, he’d become the threat. And everyone he cared about suffered as a result.

“You’re… you’re quite right,” he said quietly. “The responsibility is mine. It’s my fault that people were hurt. Right or not-- and I think we know which eventuated-- I had no place to make a decision like that on behalf of everyone else. I’m only grateful the consequences weren’t even worse.”

Grace put her hand to his cheek, her hand soft and warm as she cradled his face. Aleister’s breath caught in his throat at the tenderness of her touch, the gentleness in her eyes.

“...Grace…”

“We’re all alive, you silly, silly man,” she said with an exasperated smile. “Whatever we’ve all been through because of you screwing up, we came out the other side. And if it weren’t for you, we’d all have been lost. From now, though, I think we need to face things together. Really together.”

“Y--yes,” he croaked.

“Come on now, you dummy. We’re missing out on a picnic-- you can’t tell me you haven’t missed Raj’s cooking!”

As Aleister and Grace came to the clifftop where the group had gathered, Jake, catching sight of them, put his fingers to his lips and whistled.

“Over here, Malfoy!”

Grace tugged at his hand. “Come on! No one’s going to bite. Even Estela.”

Aleister wasn’t so sure about that last bit, but looking around the circle, he saw Estela relaxed and smiling, Taylor leaning up against her. Even as they made eye contact, the fierceness had faded. It seemed she’d made her point and wasn’t interested in wasting further energy on the issue. The issue being him.

To Aleister’s surprise, Jake wasn’t just calling them over-- he’d budged up making a space beside him.

“Sit your backstabbing ass down,” Jake said, his genuinely welcoming tone at stark odds with the words themselves.

All the same, Aleister couldn’t help the feeling of dread. He was about to be chewed out all over again, and he certainly could not blame Jake-- or anyone, really. He sat down, rather grateful for Grace’s taking a spot beside him.

Jake looked over Aleister with something like amusement, as though he enjoyed making him squirm a little. “I never figured I’d be the one rolling the red carpet out for you after the shit you pulled. When it comes down to it, you hadn’t been a traitorous bastard, Mike would’ve been lost forever. Damn it, I thought he was.” He looked away from Aleister’s nervous gaze to glance affectionately at the man on his other side. Mike was tentatively tucking in; not saying more than the odd word, but comfortable, welcomed into the fold. “Trust ain’t a simple thing to repair, and that was a fucking doozy. But you saved this kid. Guess a truce is do-able after all.”

Letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, Aleister took a plate and sized up the spread of food in the middle of the circle.

“Am I to assume there’s been some hopping through time windows going on here?”

Raj grinned broadly. “So, we jumped back to this place’s heyday in the ‘20s, back when the pantry was full, can you blame a man for wanting to stock up his kitchen?”

One of the anachronists was scowling. “All of time at your fingertips….”

“Hey!” Taylor cried. “We already almost wiped out the Vaanti. Probably better if we leave the time travel to the people who know what they’re doing.”

“Better safe than sorry!” Grace agreed, and she passed Aleister he deviled eggs. “I’ve seen what can become of someone when they play with forces too big for them to understand. I’d definitely feel better if we tread very carefully.”

The anachronist sighed, shaking her head.

Aleister was with his friends on that one. And as the few anachronists who’d joined them for the picnic shared stories of their travels in time, that point of view only became further cemented. Anyone who could laugh about ‘riding a T-rex’ was, in his book, stark raving bloody mad.

In no time at all, talk turned to the group’s next move. Aleister’s body seemed to ache at the very thought of a ‘next move’; electric burns and a tonne of emotional upheaval were taking their toll. He said little, well aware that being perceived as overly forceful could damage the bonds he was so carefully rekindling.

Thankfully, Taylor, ever the one to slip naturally into taking the lead, must have been taking to account just how knackered some of the group were.

“I think,” she said, “it wouldn’t be a bad idea to take a day or two to rest, especially while we’ve got somewhere like this to shelter away. I know we can’t just hide away until everyone’s completely healed, but a little recovery time has got to help.”

Quinn nodded. “I’ll sleep better when we have the other piece of the Heart again, but the fact that I still clearly have that connection means we’ll be able to seek it out. What matters is we’ve got this half out of Rourke’s hands.”

“A little more time to help Mike get his bearings, I’ll take.” Jake said, then he sighed. “We’ll be a sitting target here, ya know, Princess….”

Nervously, Aleister cleared his throat. “I wouldn’t be so certain. Bearing in mind, we are thought to be stumbling around in the 1920s presently, and my father’s security operation will be on the back foot after your successful rescue.” He nodded appreciatively to Taylor, who smiled in response.

“That was my thinking too. I also thought it likely we’d be expected to return to either Elyys’tel or The Celestial-- or hell, even The Elysian. Somewhere actually stocked with medical supplies and food.”

Estela still looked unsure. “Fine, we let everyone rest up. But if we’re setting up camp somewhere as conspicuous as a freaking mansion, we need security measures.”

Taylor reached and squeezed her lover’s hand. “Of course. It took us this long to get everyone back together safe. I don’t think any of us are going to take that for granted.”

There was a shared murmur of agreement, and it took Aleister a moment to comprehend that he was included in that ‘everyone’. At the realisation, his cheeks and ears pinkened.

Evening spilled into night, and the relaxed atmosphere put Aleister at ease. With Estela having said her piece and moved on, there seemed to be no ill will coming his way. Nobody looked at him differently as they passed plates of food onto him-- he was just another one of their gang. The ‘fam’, Raj would, and did, say.

“Hey!” Raj called out, and he sat himself down next to Aleister on the grass. “I bet you’ve missed all this! A while since you’ve had anyone much to talk to, huh?”

“Mm,” Aleister replied noncommittally. He couldn’t very well make a show of being sorry for himself, but there was truth to that statement. He had missed them. These people were his friends, and now… everything was so clear. His father could not be allowed to bring Project Janus to completion, and the only hope Aleister could see was in the people around him. He looked into Raj’s broad, friendly face, and returned the smile. “It is a welcome change,” he admitted.

And now that he had Raj here….

“I…, well, I….” He cleared his throat. “I… don’t know if you recall….”

“Aw, shizz! I’ve really fallen behind in that crash course I was gonna give you in foolproof romance!”

“Well, seeing as I’ve already quite proven myself the fool, it seems I’m the perfect man to put your techniques to the test.” Aleister couldn’t help but wince as the next words passed his lips: “I don’t suppose you have a ukulele to hand? If the offer of accompaniment stands?”

Raj’s mouth fell open.

“Of course I’ve got my ukulele, man… what do you take me for? I’m not gonna get caught out in a ukulele emergency without a ukulele!”

“You… anticipated a ukulele emergency?”

“It’s La Huerta. Stranger things have happened! Besides, it always comes in handy in the event of a fire-side singalong.”

Now that Aleister thought about it, his mission to serenade Grace could indeed constitute a ukulele emergency. Perhaps Raj had a fair point.

Here, he thought, swallowing his pride with all of his might, goes absolutely nothing.

Raj strummed the strings to a gentle rhythm, calm as rolling waves and at stark odds to the churning of Aleister’s stomach. Of course, thirteen pairs of eyes were upon him now-- this might have been for Grace, but as soon as Raj whipped out the ukulele and started playing, the audience was inevitable.

Damn.

His voice caught in his throat.

Damn again.

“Grace, I…” he said, braving looking into her face for a moment even as he fumbled with his words, “I wrote this for you. It isn’t much, I’m afraid-- it seems I’m no lyricist-- but the words are honest and true.”

And he began to sing.

“I never knew what it could be, until your demure beauty graced my world, that the warmth of a smile could be meant for me….

“The brilliance of a supernova, though you’d never see it, if only you could….”

For Grace, the rest of the world seemed to fall away. The friends beside her had hushed, letting the words fall upon her with clarity, but the roar of Cetus’ wildest storm couldn’t drown out what she felt between herself and Aleister.

What she’d always believed-- what she’d known was there.

Tenderness hung on every word, the cold exterior having been banished for the sake of utter vulnerability before her… well, before everyone. But it was for her. Aleister couldn’t take back his mistakes, his narrow-sighted attempts at saving her, but he could open up. Against everything that had been programmed into him, the need to be an icy pinnacle, infallible… here he was, bearing his heart and soul to her.

The way he sang her name, as though a voice could give a loving caress… it brought an ache to heart, swelling with feeling. The was no doubt, now. She cared for him still. She loved him.

Aleister finished up, trembling, and the quiet was broken by a couple of loud whoops and cheers, followed by applause from the whole group. He felt positively faint, but kept his eyes upon those of the one the song had been for. Grace was hushed, her kind eyes glistening with tears fighting to fall.

Craig’s loud voice cut through the cheers. “You know, Z, if you really loved me, you’d write me a song and all!”

“Craig, it’s important to me that you hear this and fully comprehend.” Zahra looked him dead in the eye. “I am never, not ever going to write a fucking song for you. Actually, I would sooner eat a bowl of razor blades. Scratch that-- a bowl of razor blades, and Raj’s hangover special.” She shrugged. “Just so you know where we stand on that one.”

“Aw.”

Aleister didn’t hear them. He was gazing into Grace’s sparkling eyes, the smile in them, warm and joyous. He could scarcely dare believe that sparkling smile was for him, that he could still bring it into being. For all his arrogant blunders, his well-intentioned disasters, and the fact that he’d sung the whole ditty looking-- he was certain-- like a man on the verge of being violently ill, that smile was still for him.

He loved her. Grace Tamara Hall. And just perhaps… she might love him too.

[starlingsrps]

one slip and falling back into the hedge maze

rebecca can’t sleep.

it’s hot as hell in austin as august begins and her fan is doing its very best but it’s not enough. the sun has started to peek in through her curtains, birds are singing, the newspapers are thumping against front stoops and she’s maybe slept a total of twenty minutes since she got home at four.

come seven, rebecca decides to throw in the towel and leave the damp sheets behind. she’ll try working on her mural for awhile before giving sleep another shot - maybe it’ll be better after she dulls her brain some and the sun moves. she pads through the hallway and into the living room, pausing for a moment.

jake looks almost peaceful asleep. relaxed, at the very least. they only have the two bedrooms but he’s been a good sport about sleeping on the sofa. he tucks himself in, face buried in a pillow, and doesn’t make much of a fuss if the cat comes to keep him company. he didn’t sleep wearing a shirt last night and she studiously turns her thoughts to charlie, who has very nice back muscles for someone who works at a desk all day. obviously, she’s just looking at jake as an artist, not as an ex-girlfriend. the human form is neutral but right now she can’t find neutral words for the way jake’s bare back looks in the morning sun.

it’s foolish to think so but she swear she can feel her ring burn her finger a little bit.

she fixes coffee for jake and nicole when she wanders in, grabs a coke for herself before going back to her room to dress in an old skirt and camisole - close enough for painting clothes today. it’s already blazing when rebecca steps into the backyard and makes her way over to the shed. it’s become her work surface over the past few years, somewhere along the line of running out of wall space inside that nicole was willing to give up. she keeps her paint inside and drags it all out when she the time comes. if she misses canvas, she keeps those complaints to herself. with her brush in hand and something to focus on, the sounds of the neighborhood are pleasant background and she feels much better, finally in control of something.

after awhile, the back door creaks open and jake steps out, blinking in the sunlight. his cigarettes are in his hand and while he’s wearing a shirt now, he hasn’t buttoned it. “morning,” he says, sitting on the concrete steps.

“morning. sorry if i woke you up,” she says. “tried to be quiet.”

“you were. i can’t sleep in anymore.”

“i couldn’t. too wired. so,” she gestures behind her with her brush before setting it down on a sheet of newspaper.

“nice that you’re still painting.” he says it awkwardly, like he’s not sure what else to say. “shed’s new.”

“canvas is rationed. the shed isn’t.” she shrugs. “i just paint it white and start over when i’m done.”

“looks good.” he lights a cigarette and rests his arms on his knees. “still like bluebonnets best?”

rebecca looks over her shoulder, even though she knows exactly what she’s painting. a prairie scene that she started back in the spring when the bluebonnets had been a riot of color. they’re her favorite flower and have been for as long as she remembers - apparently he does too. “yeah. you’re a little late for them.”

“maybe next year.”

it’s the most he’s spoken about the future since he landed here and rebecca takes that as a good sign. “be nice to have you around longer.” she presses her hands to her mid-back and arches, trying to stretch out a cramp.

“um, did you-“ he nods in her direction. she looks down and swears under her breath.

she hadn’t put on a bra. for starters, she hates the damn things and second, she hadn’t been expecting to see anyone. he had been asleep and nicole wouldn’t have cared even if she weren’t still at work. theirs has become a no bra household so this was bound to happen eventually. she just wishes it had been nicole.

she crosses her arms over her breasts as casually as she can, cursing the thin cotton. at the same time, the way jake is looking at her has her feeling warm and liquid in a way that has nothing to do with august in texas. she hates herself for that and tries to think about charlie but the thought flickers away. clearly, wholesome thoughts are no match for her hormones. he’s still looking at her, his eyes hot. it makes her want to preen, drop her arms and let him look as long as he wants. she tightens her arms and feels the press of her ring against her skin. charlie, uncomplicated and sweet charlie who remembered to schedule a flower delivery for her birthday two weeks ago before he left for europe.

“sorry,” she says shortly. “i forgot.”

he stubbs out his cigarette carefully on the cement before flicking it into the coffee can and standing. his eyes shutter. “i’ve seen you in a lot less.”

[yuanvei]

Long message 💌 Hello Yuan! This is 🍋 anon! I woke up this morning and saw that you finally posted xo lvl 2 right when I fell asleep lol seeing the 23k wc, I knew I was in for a long ride so I rushed to do my chores in order to read it right away!

Damn, this fic was darker than I thought it was gonna be. The intro got me so hooked, it was so so good. I can’t help but feel pity for the protagonist :( I’m so invested in this story and I really felt like crying whenever she struggled.

Minji is so kind, I’m worried what will happen to her. I have a theory about Minji but I could be wrong and just overthinking it. Also, I love Hee’s character! His conversation with the protagonist was kinda funny to me. When he stayed behind after Minji and Jungwon left, I already guessed what the poll was going to be about and DREADED it. This is so hard! What if we choose the wrong thing?? Also, I loved the song references you sneaked in there 👀

Iirc, you said back then you wouldn’t write for Enha anymore (maybe excluding Jungwon), but seeing your recent posts, I guess you changed your mind. You’re my fave writer fr. I love Jungwon so much and I’m thankful he’s your muse (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠) Have you seen En-Drama? It’s how I imagined the members throughout the whole time reading. XO (and your works in general) would be a huge hit if it was a drama, you’re THAT good.

I also wanna say that your layout is immaculate. And please don’t ever doubt or downplay your writing because it’s beyond just amazing. Trust me. It’s so immersive and really draws you in. Magnetic, if I may say. I aspire and strive to be a writer as good as you are. You’re definitely gonna be a successful mangaka someday.

I’m already excited (and nervous!) for the upcoming levels even though we have to wait for a while. I know this fic took a long time to create and you said you’ll do your other film projects so I hope you get some good rest and good luck with your studies as well! Keep safe always, and we love you 💓

🍋 nonnie !! :(( i cried lol- u have no idea how my heart dropped when i saw this ask from my notifs cuz like i was rlly sad bc there's barely any anon ask beside yours, so i thought ys;xo flops bc no one is interested enough to talk about it.. but your ask RLLY MADE MY DAYY THANK YOUUU SM FOR THIS SWEET MESSAGE<33 im vv grateful for u for taking your time to write this 🫶🫶

i'm so glad you love the intro as much as i do!! and the fact that u feel sm for the protagonist too, she is prob one of my complex protagonists as of now. and it's only going to get rlly rlly dark w the upcoming levels.

you can tell me more bout your theories hehe but i won't be able to tell more bc no spoilers 🤫🤫 im glad hee's character was lovable bc i keep giggling as well while writing his scene w mc >< ALSO IM HAPPY U NOTICE THE SONG REFERENCES

oh about enha, yep tbh I've kind of lose interest in them n and jungwon was the only reason why im still around but i have to say this comeback w xo and brought the heat back is def my fav !! not to mention that jake is looking too good recently—very much influenced by a cantonese film i've watched recently. 🤭

and about en-drama — i don't rlly catch up w enha's updates apart from their mvs & comebacks, I've seen en-drama many times on my yt but it doesn't rlly catch my interest, however i might watch it one of these days to get an inspo for ys;xo :D BUT YOU'RE SO GOOD TO ME THANK YOUU ,, i'm very happy that u think so :((

i'm glad u like my layout btw !! 😭 and once again thank you thank you VERY MUCHHH for all these encouraging words, i appreciate it from the bottom of my heart 🫠🫶 it's so sweet of u to spend sm of your time writing this and it's making me emotional lol ,, and yes you're going to become an amazing writer too, maybe even more better than me ! >:)) it's going to be a journey, but fighting and ik u can do it !! 🫶 and the mangaka part PLS ill keep these words forever in my heart I WILL ALWAYS COME BACK TO THIS THANK UUU

you're very kind 😭😭 im so happy you're around 🍋 anonnie,, i'll make to sure deliver a more better story thru xo level 3 !! have a good rest too !! stay safe, and take care 🥹🫶

[izzyy-stuff]

Okayyyy! Here it goes!

Idek if this is actually considered as 3sum but would a yeonbin in 1 fic be alright w/ u? 👉👈 idkt if this is considered cheating, but will u give it a shot? 👉👈

It's goes like where yeonjun is reader's bestfriend and soobin is his dearest childhood friend whom they became close with bc of yeonjun. Reader actually loves yeonjun and they most likely go over their little boundaries sometimes, like sneaky makeouts, the..deed..., however, they are not dating. Mutual pining, maybe? Then one time, yeonjun has to leave the town and he left reader at soobin's custody. They do drink sometimes, and since reader was left by yeonjun at soob's apartment they grew closer to each other. Causing spark and temsion between them, sometimes they threw dirty glances at each other until one night of a drunken game, they are also over the boundaries. Idk, am i making sense? 😭😭

𝐓𝐖𝐎 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐀 𝐋𝐈𝐄 - 𝐂.𝐘𝐉 & 𝐂.𝐒𝐁

bsf!Yeonjun x fem!reader x Soobin feat Chaewon (le ssera), Yeji (itzy), Hyunjin (skz), Heeseung and Jake (enha), and txt members

in which You let your best friend break your heart many times, simply because he always managed to put it back together afterward, until it got to the point he couldn't fix it anymore, no matter how much he tried. You only felt grateful when he left the town for vacation and gave you some space, making it easier for his best friend to approach you and fix what he broke.

wc 8.5k

warnings smut content, fwb, a bit of angst, not at the same time but both of them have smut scenes, alcohol, drunk sex, protected & unprotected sex, size kink, yeah soobin is big (are we surprised), and yeonjun is described as thick, oral, thigh riding, vaginal fingering, cum swallowing, hand job, Soobin takes your panties as a "trophy"

↪ izzy speaks... okay I probably didn't make it exactly like you wanted, but I tried my best to follow your idea while adding my own in. This is my first request so I am thankful a lot to you for giving me this idea, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing <3 Also the biggest thank you to @beomiracles for beta reading! I love you sm

You stood in front of your closet, looking through your clothes for the third time already. It was unbelievable how many garments you owned but still had nothing to wear. “Come on, we don’t have the whole night,” your best friend whined, making you glance over your shoulder in his direction. Yeonjun was on your bed, lying on his stomach as his eyes followed your every movement, the YouTube video on his phone long forgotten by now. 

“I don’t know what to wear, though,” you sighed, walking over to him. You signed for him to move, so he did. You were the one lying on your stomach now while he got up, going to pick something to wear for you on his own. “I don’t know, you look gorgeous in anything you wear,” he mumbled, your cheeks heating up immediately. “But what do I look the best in?” You asked, hiding your face behind your phone, pretending to be texting so he wouldn’t see your flushed cheeks. 

“What fits you the most, hm?” He hummed, turning around again, an unbelievably annoying smirk on his face. You frowned, trying to see through him to understand what he was thinking about. “Personally, I think you look the best naked, with my arms wrapped around you,” he smirked, leaving your closet wide open and walking back to you. “But we can’t let you go out like that for others to see, can we?” 

“Oh, shut up, Jjun,” you said, trying to focus on your phone instead of his tall frame in front of you. But the truth was, it was impossible not to think about him. With the way his eyes looked at you, the way his lips moved when he said your name, and especially the way he felt, it would be weird not to think about him all the time. 

“Why? Don’t you just love it when our bodies are so close?” Yeonjun teased. You didn’t even need to look up to know there was a smirk on his face. There always was. He wouldn’t miss a chance to tease you, no matter what it was about. That was just something that came with being his best friend. 

“I can’t say I hate it,” you admitted, finally raising your head from your phone. “But,” you started, glaring at him. “We have somewhere to be. So go choose an outfit for me, or I’ll get overwhelmed by the amount of dresses I have.” 

Yeonjun shook his head at you, a sign of disbelief and entertainment in his eyes. You could see through him entirely after the years you two have been friends. Yeonjun was a simple man when you thought about it. To make him happy, all you had to do was agree with him and give him building blogs or good sex. 

♡⸝⸝

When you met him in high school, you had no problems agreeing with him. You didn’t necessarily care if his opinions were accurate or not, but when you saw the sparks in his eyes as he talked about something he was passionate about, you swore you could feel your heart skip a beat. It was enough to make you agree with anything he said. It didn’t matter what it was as long as you could see the smile on his face from how excited he was because someone shared the same opinion with him. 

In your second year, you found yourself by his side at all times. You were the person he ran to when he passed his exams with a high score. You were there when he and his best friend got into a fight. And you were there when he got his heart broken for the first time. Even though it hurt you as much as it hurt him, you comforted and told him she wasn’t worth it if she couldn’t see what she lost. You told him he deserved better, secretly hoping he might finally see you as something more than a friend. 

It was your high school graduation when you, for the first time in those four years, thought that maybe, just maybe, he also saw you as something more than just a friend. 

You smiled wide as you ran into his arms, a diploma in your hands. He laughed with you, wrapping his arms around your waist as he spun you around, making all your friends chuckle, too. “You made it!” you exclaimed, your hands wrapped around his shoulders as you gazed into his eyes, unable to hold back your smile. 

“I told you I would, didn’t I?” He smiled, not taking his eyes off of you. Yeonjun was a year older than you, meaning he had graduated already. And even though he promised you he would make the time to show up for you on your special day, part of you didn’t believe him. You knew he had more important things to do.

It was only when his other best friend spoke towards him that he let go of your waist, his arms falling to his side. You stepped back, allowing your hands to drop to your sides as you glanced at the tall male. “Hey, Bin,” you greeted him, your smile now tinier but still visible. “Hi,” the dark-haired male waved toward you, his dimples appearing. 

Soobin was your age, but you never paid him much attention. Actually, you were pretty sure you wouldn’t even know who he was if Yeonjun hadn’t introduced you last year when he got closer to him. Without even realizing it at first, you three ended up hanging out together all the time after that, just like any group of best friends would. And even though you considered him one of your close friends, he could never be as close as Yeonjun was. You were sure of that. 

“Okay, should we go?” Chaewon wrapped her arm around your shoulders, smiling at the two taller males opposite you. “We still need to change,” she commented, looking around as Yeji joined your small party, she too, greeting the two males.. 

The two girls were also your age. But unlike Soobin, you noticed them in your first year of high school and became close friends soon after. They were your girls that you could run to whenever you had a problem, and you always felt grateful to them for that. 

“Change for what?” Soobin questioned, his eyes wandering between you and your two friends. “Well, even though this is nice and all,” Yeji started, looking down at her graduation dress. “I would much rather change into something cuter before we go eat.” 

“I hope you guys don’t have anything planned, do you?” Chaewon asked when she saw the surprise on their faces, realizing you forgot to mention this piece of information to them. 

“I am free,” the older male nodded. “I just…didn’t know we were going anywhere,” he said, glancing from the short-haired girl at you as if he wanted to scold you for not telling him. Awkwardly averting your gaze, your lips turned into a regretful smile. 

Yeonjun sat in his car, Soobin right next to him in the passenger seat when you walked to his car, sliding into the middle seat in the back so your two friends could sit on each side. It was the first time you felt Yeonjun’s eyes on you differently. 

He always looked at you as if you were one of his boys, which you truly hated, but this time, as you fixed your hair, laughing at something Yeji said, you looked different, better. He wasn’t sure if it was because of how your dress hugged your body perfectly, letting him see all the curves previously hidden from his view, or how happy you looked, but the way he saw you changed, and you both knew it. 

You felt his eyes on you during the whole dinner, unable to fully focus on anything else. It was embarrassing. You had no idea what was going on in his head. You didn’t know if you should be scared or happy about it, and it terrified you. You tried to convince yourself that it was just because you had something on your face. That must have been it. But when you went into the bathroom, his eyes still on your lower body as you walked away, you knew it wasn’t that. There was something more to it. 

And you soon found out exactly what. 

“I am sorry, guys. I promised Hyunjin I would be out like five minutes ago. He wants to introduce me to some new guy again,” Yeji quickly apologized when she paid for her food, grabbing her handbag to leave. Chaewon called herself a taxi soon after, leaving you, your best friend, and Soobin at the table of five. 

“I should call a taxi too,” you mumbled, reaching for your phone on the table. “Oh, come on. You know I can take you,” Yeonjun stopped you, looking away for a second to pay for his part of the bill. “You two live on the other side of Seoul,” you reminded him, but it didn’t move him at all as he merely shrugged. 

You got the passenger seat this time, leaving Soobin in the backseat. You felt awful about them taking you, but you knew there was nothing you could say to make Yeonjun change his mind. He would much rather drive through the whole country than have you get alone with some stranger. You loved that about him, how protective he could get. It made you think about how clingy and protective he would be as a boyfriend. 

“Thank you for the ride again,” you smiled, opening the car door to step out. “And for showing up,” you whispered, not paying attention to the male in the back. “Always,” your best friend grinned, watching you walk out of his car. You waved at him one last time, finally turning to Soobin to say your goodbye, but his eyes were glued to his phone, so you didn’t bother, letting your hand fall back to your side. 

As soon as you reached your front door, you heard your name, making you turn around. You blinked a few times, trying to figure out what he needed. Your best friend stood in front of you, his eyes wandering all over your body as if to memorize the image of you in his head. “I just,” he started, tilting his head with a gulp as his eyes met yours. “You look nice today. Stunning even,” he stated, causing your cheeks to turn pink. “Thank you,” you mumbled. 

Yeonjun opened his mouth again but closed it as soon as he saw you do the same. “You go first,” you shook your head, unsure what you wanted to say. Probably just some nonsense that you would regret later on. He hesitated, looking back at his car to assure himself Soobin was still occupied with his game before he took a few steps closer, leaving almost no space between the two of you. “This dress…you seem like a college student already,” he commented, saying the first thing that came to his mind. The truth was, he had no idea what to say, just like you. 

Neither of you said much more after that, suddenly getting awkward with each other as the mood shifted. Thankfully, there was no need for you to say anything to understand. You read each other well after the four years you’ve been friends. You could see the need - lust even, in his eyes. 

“Soobin is in the car,” Yeonjun said softly, reminding himself more than you. “But,” he started before you could say anything, running his fingers through his hair. “Could I come by tomorrow? I think I need to see you,” he admitted. You had to blink a few times to comprehend what was happening. You thought it was clear, but at the same time, it was so confusing. He confused you. That was something he’d always been good at. 

“Sure,” you agreed. 

Back then, you had no idea what you had gotten yourself into, but you soon found out it might have been one of your best decisions. 

Of course, as long as sex was all you wanted from him. 

Yeonjun came over the next day like he promised, jumping onto your couch to watch the TV. You watched him from the corner of the sofa, biting the inside of your cheek. You wondered if you had read him wrong after all. You thought you could see through him. You thought the tension and need were obviously there, but now that he was inside your apartment, acting as if nothing happened, you weren’t so sure anymore.

At least until he finally made a move. 

“Do you think it would be okay for me to kiss you?” He mumbled so quietly you weren’t sure if you heard him right. “What?” Your eyes shot up to him, full of confusion. “I want to kiss you,” he repeated, hesitantly looking at you to see what was going on in your head. 

Before you could say anything, Yeonjun got up from his place on the couch and walked over to you. You watched him with anticipation, staying quiet as you saw him bite his bottom lip. “Then do it,” you whispered, watching him lean down. 

Your hand found its way up to his neck, making him come even closer as his lips met yours. One of his hands tugged the strands of your hair behind your ear, cupping your cheek while the other rested on your waist, keeping you as close as possible. You slightly opened your mouth when his hand moved from your waist to your back, roaming your skin, allowing him enough room to slip his tongue inside your mouth.

You let him kiss you. Touch you in places that you had only dared to imagine in your wildest of dreams. You were sure this was all just a figment of your imagination. After all, there was no way the Choi Yeonjun would be kissing you right now. Right? 

You were the first to pull away, causing him to groan in disagreement. You watched him, your head full of possible scenarios of what could happen next. If you were to be honest, you hoped this wasn’t how things would end. 

Fortunately, you felt his lips on yours again right away, making you smile. “That dress from yesterday,” he mumbled against your lips before he kissed you again, unable to stay away for too long. “Mhm,” you hummed back, your hand making its way up under his shirt, slightly brushing over his abs. “Wanted to tear it off you so bad,” he admitted. “Just tear this off,” you proclaimed, smirking when you felt him shudder. 

You could see him hesitating as he pulled away. His eyes were soft and full of pity as he looked at you, and you finally saw through him utterly. That was all he wanted, you realized. He wasn’t kissing you because he would feel anything towards you. He just wanted your body. You weren’t sure how you felt about that. But one thing was definite. You needed to feel his lips again. And preferably a lot more, too. 

“Can I do that?” He asked. “Please,” you nodded. Maybe it was a bad idea that could lead your friendship with him to the end, but you needed him more than ever at the moment. 

Before you could even consider it properly, his lips were on yours again, this time more aggressively. The kiss was rough but still passionate. His hands held onto your thighs, wrapping your legs around his waist before he picked you up with ease, making you yelp. “What are you doing?” you asked, quickly draping your arms around his shoulders so you wouldn’t fall. “The bed will be more comfortable,” he answered bluntly, making his way around your apartment until he reached your bedroom. 

“You would stop me if you don’t like anything, right?” He asked once you were lying on your bed, looking up at him. “Jjun, I have wished for this for as long as I can remember,” you confessed. “So stop worrying and just finally fuck me.” 

He hesitated again, your words getting stuck in his head. Numerous questions surfaced in his head, making him rethink the situation again. Did you have a crush on him or something? Was it a bad idea to fuck you if you’ve been in love with him? And most importantly, why didn’t he know you liked him? 

Yeonjun shook his head, snapping out of his thoughts. “Yeonjun, you have the green light,” you assured him again, biting onto your bottom lip when you felt his hands on your waist, carefully moving his fingers on your skin under your shirt as he pressed his lips on yours again. This wasn’t the time to think about all that, he told himself. Not when you were lying so beautifully under him, begging him to fuck you. 

You gasped as his right hand slid under your bra cup, groping your breast softly. You could feel him smirking against your lips, and before you could even react anyhow, he was pressing his knee between your legs, making you moan out immediately. “That’s good?” He asked, glancing down to see you trying to move your hips forward on his knee. “Yeah,” you immediately nodded. 

He pulled away for a moment, scoffing when you groaned in disagreement. But you soon found out it was worth it as he pulled off his shirt, revealing his upper body to you. You gulped, your eyes landing on his chest before flickering to his abs. You knew he had been working out lately, but you had no idea he would look like that. “You’re going to stare a hole into me.” 

“I-” you tried to justify yourself but shut your mouth again when you saw the look in his eyes. You sat up just like he did, moving higher on his thigh to get closer to him before you tugged your own shirt off, causing his eyes to fall on your breast. And he was the one pointing out your staring, you scoffed internally. “Wanna take off the rest? You said you’ll tear it off, remember?” You reminded him playfully, watching his eyes shoot back to meet yours. 

You found his lips on your collarbone soon after, sucking on your skin while his hands wandered all over your now naked body, examining every inch. It still felt unreal to him. If Yeonjun was to wake up now and find out this was all just one of his twisted dreams, he wouldn’t be surprised. 

Sure, he never paid you any particular attention, and he couldn’t say that this was something he had always dreamed of, but that was because you were his best friend. He knew better than to ruin his dearest friendship by hitting on you. 

At least until now. Now that his hands were roaming your body, being able to grab on your ass as much as he wanted as you tried to get yourself off on his thigh. “Jjunie,” you moaned out, feeling yourself getting closer to your climax. He only hummed in response, slightly glancing up at you. “Lie down again,” he commanded, making you whine as he pulled his leg away. 

You still listened to him, lying on your bed while he hovered over you. “Shit, you’re so wet,” he commented, his fingers sliding down your folds as he kept his eyes on you, making sure you were okay. “Feels like you could cum right away if I just touch the right spot,” he smirked, pressing his thumb on your clit while his middle finger teased your throbbing entrance. 

You gasped, throwing your head back into your pillows as you released on his fingers the moment he thrust his middle and ring finger into your cunt. “Wanna taste yourself?” He looked from his fingers back at you, his playful tone of voice getting stuck in your head. You were convinced you would say yes to anything as long as he spoke to you like that.  

As if acting on instinct, you parted your lips. You could see Yeonjun smirk again as he moved back up, his fingers immediately finding their way to your mouth. “You’re so fucking pretty,” he mumbled, watching you suck on his fingers, your saliva replacing the cum that was on them seconds ago. 

“Pretty enough for you to finally fuck me?” You asked, keeping your eyes on his. You were the one smirking now when you noticed his cock twitch at your words, waiting to be used. “Do you have–” 

“I don’t,” you interrupted him. “But it’s fine. You can go in raw,” you assured him. “Do you say that to all guys?” He questioned, but it didn’t take much longer for him to align himself at your cunt, his tip teasing your entrance. “Just to the ones hot enough,” you proclaimed, your voice breaking in the middle of your sentence as he thrust into you, spreading your knees apart. 

You clenched around him right away, the feeling of his veins touching your walls making you moan so loud you were certain it would reach your neighbors. Yeonjun wasn’t necessarily big when it came to length, but he was thick, and honestly, you loved that more. “Fuck, you’re so tight,” he groaned, still holding your legs apart as he moved in and out of you. He pulled out completely, watching you whine for him before he thrust into you once again, going faster than before. 

“M’close,” he grunted, fucking your cum back into you. You finished for the second time a bit ago, and now it was finally his turn. “Pull out,” you cried, even though you hoped he wouldn’t listen to you. You needed him inside for longer. It felt too empty without his cock. 

Your legs were shaking when he let go of them, pulling out just like you asked him to. You carefully got up, kneeling in front of him. You looked up to meet his eyes before you wrapped your hand around his cock, rubbing his pre cum all over his length. “Mhm, doing great,” he praised you. You grinned, looking up at him once more, seeing his head thrown back. You let go of him, licking your lips when he whined in disagreement, getting his tip into your mouth instead. 

“Fuck, you were so good,” he breathed out, thrusting his hips towards your mouth once more before he pulled out, his cum leaking out of the corner of your lips. “My pretty girl,” he mumbled, watching you lick the corner of your lips so you could swallow even the last bit. 

♡⸝⸝

That was how it all started. Your secret make-outs, movie nights that turned into something spicier, the dirty messages he would send you while you were at work, and the heartbreaks. 

You knew the two of you wouldn’t date. You realized that back when you fucked for the first time. You two were friends with occasional benefits. That was all. 

Still, it always made your heart ache when you saw him talking to a different girl. 

And today was no different. You sat on the green couch in the corner, a cup in your hands as your eyes wandered all over the room. “What are you thinking so hard about?” You snapped out of your thoughts at the familiar voice, looking up at the younger male. “Looking for Yeonjun,” you proclaimed. “What about you? Shouldn’t you be, I don’t know, drinking your ass off with your friends, Beom?” 

“I ran away when Heeseung tried to give me a mix of beer, wine, and some soda,” he explained. “He went crazy, so Jake is trying to get him to calm down now.” You frowned, “Beer mixed with wine?”

“Like he said, he went crazy,” Taehyun joined your conversation, patting Beomgyu’s back with a quick “Happy birthday.” You shook your head in disbelief, looking around the room again. “Yeonjun just went outside with Soobin and some other guys if that’s who you’re looking for,” he informed you. “I see,” you mumbled, sipping on your drink. 

You were tipsy when you decided to go out and find your best friend. You promised him you would tell him once you felt like leaving the party, so that was what you were planning to do now. Even though you liked Beomgyu and thought of him as a good friend, once Yeonjun left you alone, there was nothing for you to do. 

“Soobin!” you exclaimed when you saw him standing on the side. He looked up at you immediately, a smile forming on his lips as he waved at you. “Yeah?” He asked, watching you walk to him. “Have you seen Yeonjun anywhere? I need to tell him I am leaving,” you explained. Soobin breathed out, nodding when he saw the desperation in your eyes. “He’s…over there,” he proclaimed, pointing towards the front fence. You glanced over there, your lips shut as you noticed the brunette beside your best friend. You saw her laugh and stroke his arm, realizing he must have been flirting with her. Of course, he was. That was what he was best at. 

You squeezed your cup in your hand, stopping yourself from walking over to them and turning at Soobin again. “I guess I shouldn’t interrupt him now,” you muttered half-heartedly, shooting the taller male a small smile. “I am just going to go. I’ll see you around.” Soobin opened his mouth to say something, but when he saw the look in your eyes, he couldn’t bring himself to do so. “See you,” he mumbled, watching your back as you walked away. 

Soobin looked towards his best friends again, sighing when he saw him kissing the brunette. Yeonjun was unbelievable, in his opinion. As someone who knew about what you and Yeonjun had between each other, he just couldn’t figure out why he kept acting the way he did. He had a gorgeous girl who loved him all to himself, but he still needed more for some reason. 

You slept over at Chaewon’s that night, telling her all about how you were tired of him at this point. You loved him, but you hated everything he did. It was surprising how many different emotions you could feel towards one person. 

You ignored all of Yeonjun’s calls and messages the next day, ignoring his questions about whether you were okay and got home safe. He cursed at you for not telling him when you left, saying he was - and still is - worried about you, but you still couldn’t bring yourself to text him back. You just needed to clear your mind in the comforts of your bed. 

But all your plans were ruined when you came to your apartment building and saw your best friend sitting by the front door, his head hung low as he scrolled on his phone. “You’re kind of in the way,” you stated, walking closer to him. “Oh, sorry-” he apologized immediately, moving to the side when he noticed who you were, a sigh escaping his lips. “Thank God you’re okay.” 

“Of course I am,” you said, the words rotting on your tongue. It was obviously a lie, and you were sure Yeonjun saw through it. “So what are you doing here?” Yeonjun stood up from the ground, taking something out of his pocket. Your eyes widened at the notice in his hands. “You’re kidding, right?” You asked, panicking. “Nope. Your landlord let me in so I could take some of your stuff. It looks terrible,” he informed you calmly, pointing at his still-wet shoes with his eyes. You wanted nothing more but to slap him at the moment. Why was he so calm about your apartment being flooded? 

“Fuck,” you sighed, running your fingers through your hair. “Okay, give me my things. I am going to call Chae again,” you mumbled, rethinking all the opinions you had. “Did she say for how long I need to stay away?” 

“Around a week,” he answered. “So come on, I have your suitcase in my car already,” he said, and before you could react, he was already walking towards said car. “Wait, what? No, just give them to me. She isn’t that far away. You don’t have to drive me.” 

“I am not driving you to her apartment,” Yeonjun shook his head, opening the door on the passenger’s side first, waiting for you to get in. “You can stay in our apartment. My room will be empty for the next week, remember?” Right. His vacation with Kai. You reminded yourself. “Oh, come on, it’s not like you never slept there.” 

You wanted to argue, tell him that he was pissing you off lately, but he had won over you again. You just couldn’t refuse him for some reason. So you walked over to him, sliding into the passenger seat and looking down to your lap while you waited for him to start the car. 

“Hey, what’s going on? You were ignoring my calls and texts, and now this?” He asked, stopping at a red light. You squirmed in your seat, refusing to look at him after you shook him off when he placed his hand on your thigh, just like he did every time you were in the car with him. “It’s nothing,” you mumbled, taking out your phone so you would have something else to focus on. “Do I look like an idiot to you? Did something happen when you left the party?” 

“You happened, asshole,” you admitted, turning your head towards him. Yeonjun blinked a few times, the anger in your eyes surprising him. “I did? What did I do?” He asked confusedly, his eyes flickering between you and the traffic light. “Are you seriously asking me that?” You scoffed. “I don’t know. Maybe I am pissed you use me like your fuck toy just to sleep with other girls at parties instead of paying even the tiniest bit of attention to me,” you burst at him. Yeonjun opened his mouth to argue with you, but before he could do so, the car behind him was honking at him, making his eyes focus back on the road. 

You stayed quiet for the rest of the ride, too flustered to say anything. The way he couldn’t bring himself to say anything to you only made you want to take your things and run away. How were you supposed to stay with him during the weekend and then sleep in his bed the following week? This was definitely a bad idea, but somehow, when you noticed Yeonjun’s best friend at the door, waiting for you to get out of the car so he could help with your stuff, a part of you wanted to stay more than ever. 

“Hey, are you okay?” The taller male asked softly, walking to you while your best friend got to the car trunk to get out your suitcase that he had packed. “We’ve had a little…argument. Don’t worry about it,” you smiled, hoping for him to catch your drift and drop the subject. 

“You came to help, right? So stop chatting and take this,” Yeonjun interrupted, throwing a plastic bag at Soobin. To your surprise, and probably his too, he managed to catch it without a problem. “A little argument, huh?” He questioned, shaking his head as he watched Yeonjun walk inside with the rest of your things. Yeonjun’s back looked tense, no matter how you looked at it. He was pissed. 

But what were you supposed to do about it? It wasn’t your fault he made you feel like shit. Maybe it was, though. When you thought about it, it was all your fault. If you hadn’t fallen for your best friend, you wouldn’t be here now, in this position. If you had told him no the first time you made out with him, it would all be okay. 

“Uhm, you’d probably want to take it instead of me,” Soobin proclaimed, bringing you back to reality. You had to blink a few times to realize what he said before you glanced down at the plastic bag in his hands, your eyes widening right away when you saw your panties on the top. It was a bag full of your underwear. “Yeonjun!” You yelled at him, snatching the bag away from Soobin in embarrassment. 

Soobin chuckled as he watched you run after your best friend, ready to beat him up. The way your cheeks turned red when you noticed what he was holding and how you tried to apologize was going to stay in his head for a while. He was sure of it. 

You sighed as you got inside, the anger you felt suddenly disappearing when you saw the look in Yeonjun’s eyes. He was standing in the middle of the hall, your things on the floor next to him. It was his eyes that managed to say everything his mouth couldn’t, and you hated it. You despited how he thought he could just look at you lovingly, and you would act like nothing ever happened. But you hated even more the fact he was right. You just couldn’t hold a grudge against him for some reason. It was one of his charms, you supposed. Or maybe it was because of your heart again. The stupid silly heart that always excused anything he did to you. 

“I hate you so much,” you muttered, closing your eyes so you wouldn’t have to look at him. You weren’t sure if you should cry or scream. “No, you don’t,” he said, making you look at him again. “Do you?” The look in his eyes was broken as his gaze met yours, making your heart ache. 

“I am…just going to go to my room,” Soobin mumbled, quickly getting past the both of you when he finally got inside, too. Right, you weren’t alone, you reminded yourself. “I don’t know,” you answered finally, squeezing the bag in your hand tighter. 

Neither one of you said anything after that. You grabbed all your things from the floor, only looking at him briefly before you walked past him into the living room, placing them in the corner where you knew they wouldn’t get in the way of anyone. You would die in this house. You were sure of it. There was no way you could survive being around him for the next two days. 

♡⸝⸝

You woke up with your alarm, announcing that the morning had come again. You turned it off immediately, rolling to the other side of your - Yeonjun’s - bed. You knew you should get up. There was a reason why you set the alarm after all, but not only was your body still too tired to get up, but your mind kept convincing you it was a bad idea to send him off. 

To your surprise, the two days you were so worried about were calmer than you expected. Yeonjun didn’t touch you at all and even let you sleep in his bed while he stayed on the couch. He barely spoke to you and only looked you in the eyes when necessary. It was obvious that he was avoiding you, but for some reason, you didn’t mind. You needed to clear your head, and that was done the best without him around. 

The problem was he was everywhere. 

Of course, he was. It was his room, his home. You couldn’t just erase him when you were staying in his house. 

You turned around so you would be lying on your back when you heard the muffled voices behind the door, staring at the ceiling. You couldn’t properly figure out what the two boys were talking about, but you figured it couldn’t be important enough for you to leave the room. 

But there were words that reached you even through the door. “Take care of her, yeah? I think I messed up too bad this time.” It was Yeonjun’s voice. You squeezed your blanket, closing your eyes as you fought a fight with yourself about getting out of bed to say goodbye to him after all. 

You didn’t go, though. You decided it was for the better. You needed to get your mind off your best friend and, most importantly, your heart too. You had to stop loving him, and this was the first step in doing so. 

♡⸝⸝

“How is it that your cooking keeps getting better and better?” Soobin commented, almost finished with the lunch you prepared. You smiled, embarrassed as you thanked him. “You’re exaggerating,” you mumbled, but he only shook his head, praising you once more. 

“What are you doing?” You turned around to face him, the water still on, washing off the leftovers on your plate. “The dishes,” you answered, not paying much attention to him and turning back again to finish what you started. “You already cooked us lunch. Dishes are supposed to be my job,” he stated, stealing the plate from you. “You can go sit down now.” You wanted to argue, but he was already pushing you out of the kitchen, refusing to hear you out on this. 

It has been like that since Yeonjun left. The two of you had never talked that much despite hanging out with each other often, but it suddenly changed now that it was just you and him, without your best friend to steal your attention. You must say you liked this side of Soobin. 

A part of you was worried you would be bored without Yeonjun around as it was always him you talked to when the three of you were hanging out as a group, but now that he was gone and you could actually get to know Soobin, you found out you have things in common. 

“Should I pick the movie, then?” You suggested. It’s only been three days, so you weren’t sure if you could call it a tradition, but watching a movie or a show has become something you always did after lunch. “Sure, go ahead,” Soobin agreed. You nodded, looking around the living room to find the remote control. 

It was a peaceful afternoon. It always was with him. With Soobin, it all seemed easy. You didn’t need to worry about what to wear around him just to impress him. You could talk about anime with him without him looking weirdly at you, and you loved that. It was the little things you could do with him that you knew you couldn’t do with any of your other friends. 

You found yourself wishing he could be your roommate after the end of this week, too. 

“I should get going,” you proclaimed as the third movie of the day ended. Soobin looked up at you immediately, pausing the credit scene that was running on the TV. “You’re going out?” He asked, confused. He knew for sure you hadn’t told him anything about it. “Yeah,” you nodded. “With a few people from high school. They decided to do this little meet in a bar. And I heard Heesung might be tagging along, too. I heard he begged one of the guys from our old English class to let him join,” you laughed. The thought of him begging to get invited was hilarious to you. “Do you want to come? They are your old classmates too, after all.” You suggested. 

“I am fine,” he shook his head, disagreeing. It wasn’t like he would get along with many of their old classmates. Actually, except for your friends, who he got close with only after Yeonjun made him tag along any chance he got when you and your friends were hanging out, there was no one he would talk to. He didn’t blame them for not inviting him or anything. After all, he never took the effort to speak to them, either. “I already agreed to play league with Beomgyu tonight anyway.” 

“I see,” you mumbled, nodding slightly. “I am going to get dressed, then. Don’t disappear into your room just yet. I want to see you before I leave,” you warned Soobin, not waiting for his reply before you hopped into Yeonjun’s room. 

You bought a new dress the day before, and it was perfect for this opportunity. You weren’t sure where you were going yet, as everyone agreed to decide on the spot, but it was perfect for any kind of party, and you knew better than anyone that they couldn’t go much without alcohol involved. So, whichever bar in town you would end up at, you were ready for it. 

And you were right. You knew there wasn’t a better dress you could wear when you saw the way Soobin looked at you as you ran around the apartment, trying to remember where you put your handbag. The way his eyes followed your every movement had you smiling. You couldn’t lie; you enjoyed having that kind of attention on you. Especially coming from someone as hot as Soobin. 

You were drunk when you left the bar. You knew you were drunk when you almost tripped as you got out of Hyunjin’s car, thanking him for driving you back, but still, you found yourself on the floor of Soobin and Yeonjun’s apartment, with a drink in your hands again. 

“Is it my turn now?” Soobin wondered, watching you. He was tipsy himself by now, but he was still okay. Which he wasn’t sure if he could say about you. “Shouldn’t we go to bed instead?” 

“No,” you shook your head immediately. “I am fine, I promise.” You were lying just partly. Yes, your head was spinning a bit, and you needed a glass of water as soon as possible, but you still could think straight. Or you believed you could. 

“Alright,” he nodded, thinking about what to say. Two truths and a lie. It sounded silly when you suggested it at first. It used to be a game he played with his friends back in middle school, so he doubted you when you came into his room, telling him to go play with you, but now that he was sitting here with you, a shot of vodka in front of him, he could see why you suggested it. 

“I used to like you when we were in high school. I won against Beomgyu today when we were playing League. And…” he stopped for a moment, looking you up and down once again, pretending he was still thinking about it. “You look so good tonight that all I can think about is fucking you on that couch.” 

You froze for a second, blinking a few times to assure yourself you heard him correctly and it wasn’t just your mind playing games with you. Sure, there was a lie hidden in what he had just said, but he couldn’t be lying about that, could he? 

“You…” you hesitated, tilting your head to the side. “You didn’t win, did you?” 

“No, I didn’t,” he nodded, raising the shot of vodka. “You got it right. My turn to drink,” he proclaimed, not hesitating as he drank the full shot at once. “Your turn. Say your sentences,” he encouraged you, placing the shot glass in front of him again. “Wait, no, stop,” you shook your head. Suddenly, it felt as if you had sobered up. “You said you liked me? And you want to fuck me?” 

“Your turn,” Soobin repeated himself, ignoring your questions. You took a deep breath, holding onto your glass tighter. “Alright, fine,” you agreed. It would be obvious to anyone around you that you were pissed, but he didn’t want to pay attention to it. It would be better if he never mentioned anything about it again. You wouldn’t remember it in the morning anyway, would you? 

“I have a black cat. I dressed like this to impress you. I want you to fuck me on this couch.” You finished casually, batting your eyes at him innocently. 

Whatever was going on through your head at the moment was working. Soobin cursed at himself in his head, closing his eyes so he wouldn’t need to look at you. It was all too much for him. The look you gave him, the way your lips parted, and even the way you played with the hem of your dress. You were going to be the death of him.

“I know you don’t have a cat,” he reminded you, but you only smiled at him. You knew he knew, he realized, scoffing. “You’re unbelievable,” he shook his head. “And drunk. You’re not thinking straight anymore. Go to bed.” 

“I am completely okay, Soob,” you argued. “No matter how much I drank today, I know what I am saying.” 

“No, you-” “Please,” you interrupted him, your beg sending shivers all over his body. This wasn’t what he expected. How could it be? But he couldn’t say he would be against it. Heck, he even told you he wanted to fuck you. 

Soobin swallowed the lump in his throat, looking at you again. “Please, what?” He asked, knowing he already lost whatever battle his head was fighting with his hormones. “Please fuck me,” you pleaded, your puppy eyes getting into his head immediately. 

“For fucks sake,” he mumbled, getting up from the floor. Your eyes followed his every movement, watching his back even as he disappeared into his room. You closed your eyes when he got out of your sight, sighing. That was not a reaction you expected. 

Your eyes lit up when you saw his figure again, coming closer to you. “You can still go back to your room, and we can pretend no one ever said anything,” Soobin proclaimed, but you only shook your head, looking up at him. You grabbed onto his hand, looking at the condom he was holding. “You’re already prepared. Why call it off now?” 

And just like that, you were sitting on the couch, your head thrown back, and your legs spread open. Soobin’s head was in between them as he teasingly sucked onto your clit through your panties, evocating a moan from you. Your dress was long forgotten, somewhere on the floor, and one of your breasts was out of your bra, but your attention was on something else at the moment. It was impossible to think about anything else but Soobin when his hands were squeezing your thighs, making sure your legs would stay open for him. 

“Please, Binnie,” you whined. “Mhm,” he hummed, his fingers finding their way to the hem of your panties before he yanked them down with one swift motion. He held them up, making sure you saw how soaked they were. “I am keeping those,” he stated with a smirk, making your eyes widen. “What? No!” You tried to argue, but the moment his lips were making out with your clit again, you gave up. He could take all your panties for all you cared if he kept making you feel this good. 

“What did you say?” He asked. “Take them,” you cried out, unable to hold back your moans as he started fingering you, soon bringing you to your first orgasm of that night. 

“There is no way,” you breathed out, watching Soobin put on the condom he brought earlier. “There’s no way what?” He questioned, coming closer to you again. You shook your head violently, putting your hands in front of your pussy as if you were trying to protect it. “You can’t possibly fit.” 

“Oh, don’t worry, I’ll make it fit,” he assured you, chuckling when he saw the look on your face. “If you think you need it, we can set a safe word.” He suggested, cupping your cheeks. He wasn’t sure how to behave if he was honest. He knew he was big, but no one had a reaction like you yet. “No, I am fine,” you shook your head as if you were trying to prove yourself to him. “I was just surprised.” 

“Are you sure?” He asked, his fingers slowly rubbing your clit again. You closed your eyes from the pressure, quickly nodding to him. “I need you inside, please,” you begged him, and before you could realize it, his tip was already in you, making you gasp. 

“Can I move?” You nodded, your nails digging into the skin on his forearm as you held onto him. He groaned, sliding deeper into you. He was only half way in, but the way you clenched around him was already driving him crazy. He wasn’t sure how long he could last. 

“Just a bit more,” he said, noticing you were calmer when he talked to you. He never was someone who would talk much during sex, usually only letting out quiet groans or curses, but if it meant you could stop clenching around him so much, he was willing to give it a go. 

“You can go faster now,” you breathed, moaning out when you heard him groan. He didn’t need to be told twice and did as you said, finally going at a speed that suited his needs. He didn’t mind going slower while you were getting used to his size, but he knew he needed more than that to finish. 

“S-Slow down, I am close.” You gasped as his thrusts became even faster, harsher. You could tell he was reaching his high, making you clench around his cock once again. “You’re taking me so well,” he praised. The feeling of his veins on your walls was your last bit, making you cum around his cock. He was driving you crazy. 

“I am almost there, too,” he said, his groans becoming louder. 

With a few last thrusts, Soobin reached his orgasm, too. But even after he came, filling the condom with his cum, he didn’t pull out. And frankly, you were glad. You needed to feel him a bit more. 

He brushed off the messy strands of your hair off your face, looking at your fucked out face. You looked perfect, even ruined like this. It almost made him hard again. “Sleep in my room tonight,” he proclaimed, catching you off guard. “What?” 

“I don’t want you to sleep in Yeonjun’s bed anymore. Please,” he pleaded, leaning down to you. He was only centimeters away from you now, his cock still deep inside you while his breath landed on your lips. “Please,” he repeated himself, breaking the distance between you and pressing his lips on yours. 

It was the first kiss you exchanged, but you hoped it wasn’t the last.

⋆✶ izzy's tags @beomiracles @seoulzie @adel222 @inkigayocamman @flowzel ✶⋆ want to get notified? join taglist here!

[thinemoonshine]

୨♡୧ 𝓴𝐢𝐬𝐬, 𝓴𝐢𝐬𝐬—𝓶𝐢𝐬𝐬! ˚｡⋆

enhypen 8th fem!member x enhypen ot7 content(s): fluff, suspense, enhypen is the drama, members are conflicted, riki is jealous, hoon’s protective instincts kick in, members being super supportive <3 type: oneshot word count: 1.5k

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚ synopsis: in which (y/n) plays a side character in a web drama but doesn’t tell the members that she has an almost kiss scene—and they only find out when they watch it together ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

“HEY! Why would you just pull my hair tie like that? You think it’s easy to do a proper ponytail??” Dasom, the character (y/n) plays as, chides her romantic interest, Seokwoo, who only laughs with amusement.

The members of Enhypen find themselves entertained as well with Jungwon pointing at the TV screen.

“Wah~ She’s not even playing a role. That’s (y/n) as (y/n) herself right there,” he comments and only smiles cheekily that shows his dimples when (y/n) shoots a playful glare.

The scene continues with Dasom chasing Seokwoo around in attempt to retrieve her tie and (y/n) can only hide in her palms from the embarrassment. It’s the typical, cheesy ‘catch me if you can!’ scenario and it makes her—and some of the others’—toes curl.

Riki stares at the screen, almost burning through the glass with the intensity of his gaze. “Who even is this guy? I’ve never seen him before.”

“Really? He’s actually quite famous in the web drama world. Might even do bigger projects soon,” (y/n) answers after giving only a brief look at him as she wants to focus on the screen.

Riki grumbles disapprovingly before he slumps back into the couch with crossed arms.

Dasom starts panting as she rests her hands on her knees. “I give up! I can’t run anymore! Just give it back to me, will you?”

Seokwoo hums with his brows furrowed, pretending to be deep in thought before uttering a single, “Nope.”

Not the best decision because suddenly Dasom’s back to being his tail, faster than before and right when he sees him about to accelerate, she quickly pounces.

Sunoo squeals while the others lets out their roars and whistles when the scene goes into slow motion—showcasing the romantic moment between Seokwoo and Dasom with the former wrapping his arms around the other’s smaller frame to protect her from the fall.

“Oh my goodness,” (y/n) mutters under her breath and her cheeks grow redder than they already are, head hanging with shame. “Dasom should seriously consider the cost of hospital bills.”

“Ugh…” Seokwoo grunts painfully, his back sore but he’s quick to check on the wellbeing of the girl pressed against his chest. “Dasom, are you okay?”

Dasom lets out a faint groan before lifting her head to nod but is met with surprise at the proximity of their faces. She gasps, eyes wide as they shift between his. Left, right, left and right. Her face mantles as she bashfully looks away.

“OHHHH!! (y/n), what is thisss!!?!! Do you actually like him?? Why do you look so shy and and blushy~??” Jake teases as he holds her by the shoulders and shaking her vigorously. She’s limp, passionless—spirit fleeting from the unhealthy amount of cringe she feels.

Now she understands why some actors don’t like to watch their own acting.

Sunghoon frowns, disapproving of the excessively touchy interaction between (y/n) and some wannabe A-list celebrity. “Why are you two so close for so long?? He should’ve helped you up at this point.”

Jay agrees, his brows in a soft knit. “How long does this go on for?”

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Seokwoo asks obliviously when Dasom refuses to meet his gaze, finally sitting up and letting her sit on his lap.

“Your breath stinks,” Riki hisses quietly, hoping Dasom would say the exact line while still throwing daggers to the male with his incessant glare.

The girl shakes her head. “N-nothing. We were just so close…that’s all.”

“oH?? OH?” Heeseung sounds excitedly when Seokwoo cups her jaw to gently turn her to face him. Something between a shout and a squeal escapes him when Seokwoo smirks. “He’s making a move on our (y/n)!!”

“Her name’s Dasom,” Ni-ki corrects with dissatisfaction and the others don’t miss their male maknae’s obvious dislike towards the actor.

“Close? You mean like…this?” Seokwoo teases and suddenly narrows the gap between their faces—noses now touching as Dasom’s eyes grow wide as saucers.

It’s like a whole audience of the World Cup is in the dorm from how rowdy and passionate the boys are—all howling and cheering like they’ve singlehandedly won the game for Korea.

“S-Seokwoo?” Som stammers nervously as her romantic interest’s gaze melts into her like a man truly in love.

But the thrilled chaos from the members dies just as quickly as it forms when they see their female member gradually being approached by her co-actor—closer and closer to a dangerous extent.

Some of the members have their jaws unscrewed while some others are screwed on too tight but eyes are all burning through the screen intently as a mix of emotions swirl in them.

Are they going to see (y/n) kiss? How are they supposed to react? Should they cheer? Should they grieve?? Maybe they shouldn’t react at all?? Like that bite scene between Sooha and Jay where they just completely cut it out in the reaction vid.

BUT THIS ISN’T A REACTION VIDEO.

Sunoo’s hands are covering his face with only his eyes seen peeking out from the little gaps between his index and middle finger—creating two V’s.

Meanwhile Riki is full on DISGUSTED, along with Sunghoon who’s so conspicuously scowling at the TV with arms crossed as he leans heavily against the couch. His tongue clicks against the roof of his mouth as he lasers through Seokwoo with his stare of distaste.

“Wait, wait, wait… You have a kiss scene? You didn’t tell us. Aren’t you too young for a kiss scene?” Heeseung raps out, completely disregarding the fact that her role as a high school senior does not reflect her real life character and age.

(y/n) stays quiet as she stares at the drama, letting the suspense build up with the never-ending inching of Seokwoo and Dasom and right when their lips are about to touch, Sunoo shrieks and the scene stops.

The outro of the drama plays as the names of the actors and sponsors begin to roll—(y/n) now giggling and clapping like a seal with delight at her members’ frozen figures and faces.

“It’s finished!! How was it?” She asks amidst chuckles and they all whip their heads to her.

“What was that?? Did you guys kiss or not??” Jake asks curiously.

“Eyy~ Can’t be~” Sunoo denies with upturned eyes and a playful grin but then shifts his honeyed orbs to the girl. “Right? Right, (y/n)ie??”

“(y/n)’s taking a step forward in her career already! Are you going to win rookie actress of the year?”Jungwon applauds with a chuckle, dimples showing. “Don’t forget about us, though! Haha! No, seriously. Don’t. And you were so cute too, (y/n)!”

Sunghoon shakes his head with another click of his tongue, furrowing at (y/n) but she knows he means well—to her, at least. The same can’t be said about Seokwoo’s actor. “How old is he? Isn’t he much older than you? Why’d they make you have a kiss scene? Manager-nim actually let it pass?”

(y/n)’s mouth is akin to a fish’s from their constant open and close due to Sunghoon not letting her squeeze a single word in with every new question.

“Yeah, that was kind of…unnecessary,” Jay chimes with his nose scrunched but then ruffles the girl’s hair. “But it is cute. You did great! Can’t wait to see the next episodes.”

“As expected of our (y/n),” Heeseung coos and earns a gag from some others—including (y/n) herself. But she’s quick to express her thanks with a beam and a finger heart.

Riki scoffs as he crosses his arms. “I don’t really like the male lead. He seems kind of dumb. Why would he steal your hair tie, anyways? He can buy his own.”

His attitude is saltier than the seas and the members are deeply entertained by it.

“It’s just the plot, Riki,” (y/n) answers in a tone of amusement to which he unconsciously pouts at.

Sunghoon stands and abruptly engulfs the girl in his arms with his head on hers as if him hugging her will magically erase Seokwoo and Dasom’s embrace from existence. It’s not new to the members for him to be so protective over (y/n). Maybe it’s the big brother blood in him but he’s always wary of anyone and everyone around her that he gets teased for being her security guard alongside personal assistant.

“Tell us whenever you have a role like this again. We have to make sure there aren’t any weird scenes, okay?” He advises, swaying left and right softly as she nods with difficulty from the way he’s practically squeezing her against his chest.

And suddenly it’s a Q&A session with the boys asking her about her experience while a bitter Riki can only watch from the sides with Jay chuckling at him—earning him a glare.

As if Jongseong himself isn’t already planning to read her future scripts himself (with Sunghoon) to make sure there aren’t anything too…kissy kissy even if it’s a near miss—for now, at least.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི₊ ⊹ masterlist ᝰ.ᐟ✮⋆˙

𝜗𝜚 hi, it’s romi here!! thank you so much for reading to the end!! if you enjoyed it, don’t forget to leave a heart and reblog—they give me some motivation, ya know? but please do not spam like!! X♡X♡, romi ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

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[roosterbruiser]

Well hold on now bc what scene between isn't SOUL CRUSHING

So ig the one I just talked about where Faye cuts Jake's hair was like (kinda)the start of me seeing how much it hurts Jake to watch Bradley and Faye be so in love. But then BITCH BOY HAD TO LEVEL IT UP EVEN MORE WHEN HE TALKED TO HER RIGHT BEFORE THE CEREMONY!

But now that I think about it the most hurtful could be the phone call that makes Faye stop talking to him bc it was honestly such and asshole move to say all of that to her. It made me even angrier bc I still couldn't fully hate him after that and idk why. Like I hate the way he acted with Faye and everything he said and yet I felt bad for him later. That's probably the most HURTFUL one since the phone call after his accident is more of them making up.

Honestly I'm not even sure anymore bc all of these scenes made me sob like a motherfucker

YES YE SYES YES YESSSS!!

I was really out for fucking blood when I wrote these scenes....

I really love how gentle the haircut scene starts and how good their night has been, even tho you can tell Jake is in kind of a weird mood. and if I may....this is one of my favorite parts of it:

“Can’t keep pretending like I’m not in love with you,” he says decidedly. 

My knees almost buckle, but I lock my hip, transferring my weight to my right side. My mouth is dry, full of sand. 

I want so badly to wake the fuck up now.   

“Why not?” 

My cheeks are red. He laughs another humorless laugh. 

“‘Cause it ain’t fair to me, you, or him.”

He’s right. I know that he’s right. 

He blinks up at me, stubble suddenly wildly apparent as he lets his free hand fall down his face again, pulling his skin towards the earth.

like youch.....party foul!!

and I can't wait for everyone to read the part in SS that ties this all together because I am SO excited about it!! it really contextualizes a lot of what Jake has said/done to Faye!!

and I totally agree w you--his phone call when she told everyone she was pregnant was FOUL!!