#stewjoni headcanons

[hannibalzero]

Obi-wan bad habits

Headcanons 🐰❤️🐰❤️

Emotionally shutting down, he’s not meditating he’s checked out.

Death sticks/cigarettes. Obi-wan isn’t a smoker but after a horrible battle. He will light one and share it with Anakin. A traditional thing he used to do with Qui-gon-Jin

Excessive cleaning, not a speak of dust on anything. He’s stressed

Parenting Anakin. Anakin is a grown ass man (allegedly ) Obi-wan will slid back into the old relationship when distracted. He will laugh at himself and apologize to Anakin. To Anakin’s credit it takes it gracefully

Caffeine. While Stewjoni’s can not have caff. (Think horrible lactose, intolerant tummy issues) Obi-wan loves his tea. Anything highly caffeinated he’s in love.

Sweets. The Jedi diet is rather strict, think lazy keto. But every now and then, Obi-wan needs something with sugar and will eat a whole cake.

Datapads, as clean and orderly as he can be. Datapads gets left wherever. But Obi-wan makes a point to clean them up by bedtime

Bedding, a good sum of Obi-wan’s credits go to his amazing bed. Mattress, sheets, pillows, quilts and comforters. Even Padme would be jealous.

Obi-wan tends to fuss with Anakin’s appearance when they are about to go on a mission. Fixing his robes, cloak, rubbing a spot off of his mecha arm

Halonet romance novel messing boards…yeah he is a fan of a few series. Blame Satine for getting him into these trashy books. But it’s rather fun being swept up in these silly stories of grand romance.

[constantlymisspelled]

Lost my mind and started design an entire culture and biology for Stewjon. Anyway…

[jonathananubian]

Here’s my notes for my Setting Souls Aflame series. It’s a good look into how I change Mando’a to Sonja! And a bonus section on the Stewjoni Houses.

Mando'a-> Sonja- Translation; Ad-> Aldi- Child Ade-> Alda- Children Aliit-> Aliif- Family/Clan Ashe’laaf- House Ashe’ri’laaf- Greater/Ancient House. (Both singular and plural.) Azreihk’gai- Help/Assist me. Ba’buir-> Fa'bihr- Grandparent. Ba’juri-> Bi’jihr- Teacher/Instructor. Ba’vodu-> Fa'yohd- Aunt/Uncle/Sibling of a parent, or a trusted adult. Beroti- Tea or tisane. Beroti’e- Plural, teas or tisanes. Bero’yai- Teapot, ‘home of the tea.’ Bevi’woor- Wind Staff Form. Defensive and fast. Buir-> Bihr- Parent, non-gendered. Buire-> Bihra- Parent Plural. Bur’naul’kat- Storm Sword Form. Aggressive and fast. Bu’ad-> Fi’ald- Grandchild Cair-> Cuy- Exist, to be Cyare-> Eshara- Beloved, both romantic and platonic. Dalaasa- Long-lasting. (but not forever.) Dinui-> Danai- Gift Fa’ald- Cousin Fi’yohld- Niece/Nephew/child of Sibling. Gahn-> Gar- You Ge’tal Aliit-> Gre’dal Aliif- Red Family/Red Lineage Ika-> Ira, diminutive Kad-> Kat- Sword Lan- Calm Meg-> Mef- Which, what, that, who. Mesh’la-> Hash’la- Beautiful Me’vaar-> Mef’aal- What’s new Naas-> Nal- Nothing, everything is the same as before, I’m okay. Naul’kat- Sword of Light, Lightsaber. Naul’kat’juir- Lightsaber forms, ‘to attack with a sword of light. Na’triorja- Don’t cry. Ner ad-> Nin Aldi- My child Ner-> Nin- My, mine. Ni-> Na- Me, I Obe- Star Obekal- ‘Star-Caller’ Jedi Stewjonian House. Ori-> Aij- big, extreme Ory/Ori- Ground/Stone Sarad-> Sasari- Flower Sasarald- Blooming, going from bud to flower. Sasaraldei- Flower bud Su’cuy gar-> Sucay’cair- Informal greeting. Takisit-> Takisal- Insult Ti- With (Taken directly from Mando’a) Udesii-> Yudiira- Take it easy, calm down. Veh Sasarald- The Blooming, a transformation Stewjonians go through during the beginning stages of puberty. Veh- Archaic form of The, used for emphasis. Vod-> Yohd- Sibling Vor Entye-> Bon enya- Formal thank you. Vor’e-> Bon’e- Thanks. Wan- Hope Lesser Houses; Kenobi- Those who follow the songs of stars. Alifar- Those who protect the powerless. Oritan- Those who stand as stone. Eniker- Those who forge ahead. Dalkos- Those who seek knowledge. Kaltir- Those who bring rain. Kalkes- Those who summon memories. Jansei- Those who tell stories. Honlak- Those who bring peace.

Ancient (Greater) Houses; Harobi- Those who hear the songs of stars. Honsul- Those who bring calm in their wake. (Green eyes) Kalgra- Those who call the storm. Jansal- Those who speak kindly. Durlig- Those who teach strength.

Mando Clans; Drallig- Bringer of Strength (Mando Clan with Stewjoni heritage) (Fall under House Durlig, technically.) Vhehn- Down to Earth. Primarily a Mando clan. Bes’laar- Iron Singer. An ancient Mando clan with a lot of Taung ancestry.

[image: a yellow banner with the words Trivia Tuesday in a cursive font]

Trivia Tuesday

Creators: give a “behind the scenes” look at one of your works. This could be things that got removed or changed, the origins of ideas/details, whatever you like!

Fans: share bits of trivia from canon and challenge others to create something based on that trivia - fic, art, or something else! I once made a crossword puzzle :)

Feel free to repost this header!

[babkaboy]

fave stewjoni biology headcanons for horny obikin girlies like me?

first and foremost i stand by stewjoni ppl having a pussy and being able to lactate and get pregnant (some weird evolution going on in that planet bc of the decline of female stewjonians being born throughout generations)

but also, my fave hc might be one that my friend fel came up with and it turned my world upside down. basically stewjoni genitalia can morph into a pussy or a cock depending on the natural needs of the person. for example when obi-wan became a padawan and he happened to hit puberty at the same time, his cock turned into a pussy bc his body started to associate being so physically close to an older and virile man like qui-gon to the need of being bred. he spent all these years with a pussy and getting EXTREMELY horny and wet at the singlest touch by his master.

years later when anakin became his padawan, his pussy didn’t go away bc the child’s need for a new maternal figure in his life affected obi-wan in a way that not only his genitalia didn’t change but that his libido went to hell, his tits grew and he started lactating in order to accomodate his biology for this child he was about to raise. his body kept that form for many years until anakin turned into a volatile teenager and started to distance himself from obi-wan the more they fought. obiwan had to start becoming more authoritative and dominant to control his padawan, goodbye to sweet mommywan. his milk dried and his pussy turned into a cock after like 20 years (also it was probably a self defense mechanism bc at this point anakin is starting to become sexually attracted to his master and obi-wan’s body perceives this as a threat. maybe it even grasps anakin’s feral intentions and dark fantasies about raping his master so obi-wan’s body tries to protect itself by sealing his pussy). but anyways. fel wrote an amazing fic about this horny asf hc but i can’t find it 😭

EDIT: NEVERMIND I FUCKING FOUND IT

[squad-724]

Have the two lovebirds, Bly and Aayla

^…^…^…^…^

Republic dragon keeper: now, each Mandalorian commander can pick a dragon for their battalion

Bly pick Aayla

Republic dragon keeper: Sir, that is a Rylotian Dancer, those dragons are for looks and show

Aayla: *decimates anyone between her and Bly*

^…^…^…^…^

I’ve decided on some of the species names with my discord friends:

Anakin is a Dune Rainbringer: this species is known to fly high up in the desert sky just before a rain forms

Obi-Wan is a Maned Blossomwing: comes from Stewjoni (the Japanese based headcanon)

Plo Koon is a Dorin Devastator: they live on an island covered in Yellowstone like lakes, able to withstand very toxic air

Tattoinian Sandstorms are a species based on Tusken Riders, they’re smaller than normal dragons, they hunt in packs, raising clouds of sand to cover their movement during a hunt

And Aayla is a Rylothian Dancers, feathered species of dragons only known for looks and beautiful voice similar to birds

[padawansuggest]

Ok so not to kick a hornets’ nest but I headcanon anakin as an intersex unlabeled eldritch entity.

Like think about it. Considering the fact that anakin is half force and that all dead things pass on to the force kind of implies that Anakin is made out of dead people, or at least their life force.

Also because the force created anakin I don’t see any real reason for it to pick making him a man. Like I don’t think the force knows what it is i think it just checked both boxes and that’s it. I also think that anakin doesn’t care for the concept of gender and just goes with the flow and tbh he is kind of a lesbian

George Lucas has never established a real magic system for the force and because of that I can apply as many implications that I want on anakin’s weird biology from the vague shit that is established in canon

Lmaooooo. Consider, since I also headcanon Stewjoni as dualsex; everyone in the temple is all ‘Anakin is rather weird for a Stewjoni… maybe his fangs never grew in’ till one day they check his DNA, nope, 100% human. He’s just got Both Parts.

Anakin goes through a 15yo mental crisis that Shmi and Obi-Wan have to talk him down from before he’s all ‘wait. Does this mean I’m not allowed to identify as female sometimes??? Because if I’m not Stewjoni I can’t change????’ And that’s when Obi finds out his baby is gender-fluid af

Shmi is so proud to have found these queers. She feels right at home.

[minecraftian1213]

You know I have this headcanon that Obi-Wan Kenobi and Cal Kestis are actually BOTH from Stewjon and I think it'd be funny that Anakin has troubles with two sassy ginger jedi from the same planet who may or may not be related but also broke into a fortress via water and still made it out in one piece

If you throw in that hc that Stewjoni hate force users then you'd get double the trauma. What if Obi was the one who had to visit the planet that tried to drown him for simply existing to retrieve another baby with the force (Cal).

Anyway I just think it'd be neat.

[tennessoui]

Obikin body swap idea: getting to see how the other half lives. Anakin just being super flustered by the idea that when he touches himself he's touching his master even for innocent things like running his fingers through his hair or getting to touch his beard.

Meanwhile Obi-Wan is trying to cope with how overstimulating Anakin's connection to the force is and even the best shields only dampen it slightly. Inner peace? He doesn't know her.

ooo i feel like when we talk about obikin body swap, this is always what we go with (overwhelmed by his master's body! anakin and overwhelmed by how anakin experiences the force! obi-wan), and it's good it's great i think these are great interpretations of the characters and i can see why it's such a popular take on obikin body swap

so what if that but also:

anakin overwhelmed by how little time obi-wan actually has to himself and how busy he is and him realizing that it's not that obi-wan purposefully doesn't spend as much time with him as he wants it's that obi-wan's body walks down a corridor and two younglings want him to give them a sparring demonstration, four Council meetings are scheduled, and one archives padawan is coming incessantly wanting to ask if he's ready for book club this week because she has thoughts on the last chapter

+

obi-wan unused to how strong he feels, how easy the Force suddenly is to manipulate; sure it's loud and i have a soft spot for that sort of headcanon about how anakin experiences the force, but i think we can't forget it wouldn't just just be overstimulating for anakin: it makes him powerful as fuck. obi-wan feels tired and the mechno arm hurts and it's straining his shoulder so he decides to use the force to call his datapaad over from its charging spot, but it zooms over so fast it shatters on impact with the wall

+

anakin overwhelmed by the new and unfamiliar aches and pains of obi-wan's body, the way he hurts when he wakes up, the way long space travel makes him feel sick and stiff

+

obi-wan realizing how persistent the chancellor is when it comes to comming and meeting anakin for lunch--oh lunch won't work what about tea oh tea won't work what about opera----

+

anakin trying spicy food for the first time in obi-wan's body and he's.... actually fine???? cue realizing that obi-wan was just pretending when he was younger to not like spicy food the bastard. (upon confrontation, obi-wan says, 'well it just seemed to mean so much to you on a personal level that i wouldn't be able to handle the heat of tatooinian food, i didn't want to disappoint you but you should really try stewjoni cuisine')

+

obi-wan realizing quite quickly that uh. anakin was not ever faking his very low alcohol tolerance

[bojangos]

VIOLENCE ASKS.

3, 6, 16, 25? any or all of them

3: screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

“Jango Fett isn’t a real mandalorian because the only real mandalorians are New Mandalorians and No One Else”

Like. how.  What????? Wh. 

I was so rattled i just instinctively blocked the OP of that one like.  If you want to say he’s not a mandalorian, there are reasons (like TCW canon.  I disagree and fully think he IS mando but it’s a reason).  but the new mandalorians being the only legit mandos is Not One of Them.

6:which ship fans are the most annoying?

I say this as someone who is at least Somewhat fond of the ship. But codywan–

AGAIN.  I CAN ENJOY THE SHIP SOMETIMES.  But some fans are a bit…. Intense.  And the vast majority of codywan also suffers from major OOC behavior from both of them, which is not my fav.  I would just like to browse commander sunshine’s tag in peace please.

16: you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

Two things that are kind of linked to each other:

One: the obsession with obi-wan being a redhead (he is, generously, strawberry blond at best).

Two: making stewjoni people very,,,,,,,,,,,,, uh,,,,,,,, unique in sexual biology, for the express purpose of obi-wan shipping. It’s.  odd.

25: common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

Legends vs canon discourse.  Drives me nuts.  On one hand some people think that everything legends should be trashed because it’s not canon anymore, but on the other hand some Legends fans are rabid about their hate for canon.  Personally i think it’s fun to try and mesh the two together. Its a fun puzzle : )

[hannibalzero]

Stewjoni biology

Stewjoni is a planet of extremes. Four years of winter with four years of summer. The tallest mountain and the deepest valleys with reach farmland and diverse biodiversity.

It’s why Mandalore and Stewjoni are so close, what one planet lacks the other has an abundance of. Thus the nickname “lovers of the galaxy.”

Stewjoni’s people are just the same, gender is pretty much fluid. But everyone is intersexed, just the secondary gender needs a bit of stimulation to become ‘active.’

If they never interact with the female anatomy it simply retracts a bit like it was never there. The male anatomy turns into a nice clit.

Depends on the person, the environment and what is needed.

This is also why Stewjonis people are favored as lovers and pleasure slaves.

Why not both? (At least in the chase of humanoid lovers)

Tbh in space, just finding someone that is almost your same species is a miracle in itself. Even just dating your same species is considered picky as hell. 

[threebea]

Fun Stewjoni near human headcanon. They can sense magnetic fields and can use this for navigation, but it doesn't work off their home world, so it becomes more of a congested feeling than a homing beacon for the first few months away from home until they get used to it.

When Obi-Wan initially came to the Jedi Temple as a toddler he was extremely grumpy because of it.

[bolithesenate]

NONHUMAN DOOKU AND BB-WAN!!?? YES PLEASE!!!

how nonhuman are we talking about?

well, the nonhuman here is just my headcanons for serennian fucked up biology. So we've got the preference for raw meat, the hunting instincts, the general predator behavior and chirps and chitters

as for obi I'm pulling some feral stewjoni fanon i've seen ghost around in fandom.

the main plot is that baby-wan accidentally crasges in on a meditating Dooku while trying to hunt a rat or something and Dooku takes one look at him and decides he's gotta teach this kid how to hunt bc evidently no one else is gonna

then they have a nice bonding hunting trip on coruscant's lower level & terrorize some local mandos and then, just right for dinner, dooku brings obi back.

Vant is not a fan

[seven-oomen]

So i am almost up to 8500 words on Caught somewhere in time. I'm about to tackle the Attack of the clones part of the fic. And with that comes a new set of headcanons I'll be incorperating.

On Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Cal:

Obi-Wan almost left the order on two occasions: his relationship with Satine Kryze, and his choice to have Cal.

Anakin sees Cal as his little brother, though he is also torn on how to handle him, as a part of him sees Cal as competition for Obi-Wan's attention.

Cal's psychometry has gotten him into trouble more than once. But mostly because he either sees things people don't want him to see, or because he sees things that upset him greatly and he has panic attacks.

Cal's gift for chaos and crawling through vents were inherited from Obi-Wan. As is his gift for reading people and their intentions.

Cal has inherited a rather unexpected ability from his sperm donor, namely the ability to sharpshoot with a blaster pistol.

Padmé and Cal team up against Anakin. And although Anakin complains and whines that he is not happy about this, he secretely relishes in the absolute chaos that Padmé and Cal cause.

On Stewjon:

The planet stewjon is like space Florida. It has mangroves, swamps, that eventually roll out into grasslands and even has some forest. There's a lot of water on the planet, though it is inhabited by all sorts of predatory fish and reptiles, and even beaches or lakes are not that safe to swim in.

There's also plenty of farmland on the planet, and some of the larger cities are packed with resorts, hotel chains, and tourist attractions. Though further inland there's a lot of poverty and people barely scraping by.

The mangrove trees are harvested for their valuable Oljohn wood. It is specifically useful for making jewelry and wooden figurines, or detailing work.

Stewjoni are a people that are intersex by nature. As such, their entire concept of gender and sexuality are very different from more traditional planets. (By our earth standards).

A person who carried a baby is referred to as mom, regardless of their gender. A person who sired the baby is referred to as dad.

Their phenotype is determined by chromosomes, XX gives someone a masculine phenotype, XY gives someone a feminine phenotype.

(I deliberately changed this, do not come for me in the comments.)

Stewjoni can breed with humans, like Twy'leks, and their biology is a dominant trait over our human biology.

Many stewjoni come out with their gender around the age of 16, some do this earlier. Until that time, many Stewjoni address their children in a neutral way, or choose to adhere to their phenotype presentation until the child determines otherwise.

Stewjoni sometimes choose to single parent, and like Naboo, there is no taboo on sperm donors or artificial insemination. It's seen as a perfectly acceptable road to take.

There's also no taboo on abortion or birth control. When the entire population is intersex, and resources can be scarce, you also need ways to control the population.

-

On Jedi:

There were many Jedi in the order that had some form of attachment to others, though those active in the order also made sure that a. the council didn't find out about those attachments, and b. that the attachments didn't interfere with their duty.

Some Jedi also chose to have children. If the Jedi stayed within the order and agreed to its terms, the children would be brought to the temple on Coruscant and were raised there. The Jedi parents would have visitation rights and could see their children at most once a month, preferably less. If a child was not force sensitive by age 3, they would finish their time in the clan and by age 13 be sent to one of the corps. (Agricorp, medcorp, educorp, exploration corp).

If a child was force sensitive they would stay for training among a clan and by age 9 go to Ilum for the crystal ceremony. By age 13 they would be chosen as a Padawan by a knight or master that was NOT their parent. If they're not chosen, they too would go to the corp.

This caused some form of tension within the order, as quite a few (parental) members found the rules unfair or downright cruel.

Any Jedi that did not agree to the terms of having children within the order would be excommunicated and stripped of their rank. They would however be given supplies and credits to get them on their feet. The Jedi are strict and stifled, but fair and supportive with old members.

Children of Jedi that were Padawan learners or corp members were given ways to contact their Jedi parent once a month to keep in touch. At the age of 18 these children were given a choice to continue service or to cut ties with the order.

-

And since it's now 2 am I'll leave it at this.

[27potatochips]

@meowmeowriley asked to hear more about 4, 6, and 7 from my COD wip list (thank you very much btw) and my motto will always be 'ask and ye shall receive' so here we go!

4 Still Unnamed centaur AU: Alright so Price is the very proud owner of a centaur wildlife reserve which is a place that takes injured centaurs and fixes them up so they can be released again. Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Roach, König, and my OC Flower (pls ask me about him), are all centaurs who cannot be released into the wild due to various reasons and they act as like ambassadors, they even organise events to help raise centaur awareness (everyone especially adores the kids that come with school visits) but Shepard, who is a very high official in the wildlife reserve business, only sees centaurs as beasts and not like the intelligent beings they are. He tries to put Price out of business at every opportunity and is generally an all around dick. Yet nothing seems to work as support for centaur communities continues to blow up due to the team being adorable and in love together, i mean look at Ghost blushing as Soap tries to court him! It's adorable!

6 The Men In The Corner Booth: It's basically an outside view on the lads from the perspective of a gay bar and it's patrons. I love outsider POVs so i decided to make my own. It's mostly about the lads being disgustingly in love with each other while also being absolutely insane. Also features another of my OCs i call Timber. I don't have much yet but i still love it.

7 Wild Wild West: A RDR2 and COD crossover, i also love this one. The lads are a bounty hunter gang who mainly deal with the worst of the worst and are on the search for Graves who betrayed them, they find out Graves is working with these dudes called the Pinkertons and accidentally stumble upon the Van Der Linde Gang getting shot at and decide to intervene. They team up and join the camp as they search for Graves, in the meantime they show the Van Der Linde gang that things could be better mainly by just doing their own thing as they normally do. (AKA everyone does the chores and brings in money instead of relying on one dude to do it, i am a firm believer in letting Arthur rest. That poor man needs it) Ghost and Arthur bond, Hosea and Price bond over being dads, Price sets Dutch straight, they drive Micah crazy. Very fun. Also stars Flower because i love my boy.

Nobody asked for it, but i need to rant about my Star Wars COD crossover too, it's very self indulgent and full of my own headcanons so be warned. It's about Ghost and Soap being Mandalorian bounty hunters who just got married a week ago and still very deep in that honeymoon phase. They make a stop on Coruscant because they're out of the tea Ghost drinks and Ghost without his tea is a nightmare so they go get it even though Coruscant is a sensory nightmare (They are both force sensitive because the Force is very cool and force sensitive Mando's exist damnit) they find his tea, but also find a wee little baby Obi-Wan, freshly traumatized from Bandomeer, hiding in a alley because Obi had a panic attack while searching for his master at the markets. Ghost and Soap's Mandalorian instincts activate, Soap sees Obi is Stewjoni like him and gets even more protective. And well the marriage is really new but it's never too early to adopt right?

Baby Obi gets fed copious amounts of tea and cookies and gets adopted, but requests to get brought back to the Jedi temple because he does really want to be a Jedi and finish his education, Ghost is a bit pouty but they drop him off by the temple with a care package and a few dozen comm numbers to call if he ever gets in trouble or just wants to call his new family. And because Obi-Wan is the greatest danger magnet to have ever lived he will get in a lot of trouble lol.

Anyways, first post that is not a reblog i think, nice. I will always love questions about things i write or my OC's so please, if you're curious about something, ask away.

[stinkythehutt]

i have a brand-spanking new headcanon that Obi-Wan hails from a Stewjon family with a long lineage originating somewhere near the sea, because a) he just has that vibe, but b) it means that I can say that in ancient Stewjoni language, the name Kenobi is drawn from a colony of people who live near beaches, i.e. “Ken” the word for a scenic cliffside, and “Obi” the word for “from.” Obi-Wan, then, harks back to “Obi” - from - and “Wan” - water. From-Water, From Cliffsides.

all of this to say, when Obi-Wan names himself Ben Kenobi on tatooine his name translates, roughly, to Ben Dover. :-)

[padawansuggest]

Hey so if you’re new here and haven’t been around longer than ten minutes you might not know that my fave fave fave tropes ever are 1: time travel and 2: Obi-Wan getting adopted by Mandos, so whenever I find a time travel fic where Obi goes back in time and is promptly adopted by Mandos I get so excited trust me there are a lot but rn what I really really really want is a fic where I combine one of my fave headcanon type things that I like to put in fics with my second fave trope being Force Sensitive Jaster Mereel and then combined with Obi-Wan and Anakin (and probably Shmi too lmao let’s have a force sensitive babies party here) as force ghosts with Jaster and suddenly one of them comes back all ‘YALL I KNOW HOW TO GO BACK IN TIME I FIGURED IT OUT’ and so they all go back in time with the pure goal of saving their peoples (Mandos, Jedi AND slaves okay we makin a trifecta of people who got the worst bullshit in Star Wars two of which got all the blame when literally all of it was Sith and slavers faults) and Jaster goes back in time to Korda 6 and looks around for Jango so they could retreat only for little grunts of ouchies I fell to happen and he looks over to see a small pile of toddlers Obi-Wan, Anakin, Shmi, (Boba and like six other clones you know I have to) and is all ‘oh shit. Please be potty trained please be potty trained please be potty trained’ and now he has to go find Jango to call them back to their ships and tell Jango he in fact has a bunch of new vod’ika all of whom still have adult memories and also can you hold Boba please he’s a crying mess he just wants Jango nvm you can be that one’s Buir he bites lmao NO DONT HOLD HIM LIKE THAT JANIKA I RAISED YOU BETTER and now they’re back to Mandalore and Jaster is all ‘shit. We made this plan to save ALL our peoples. Well fuck.’ And now he’s all wait a sec and calls up the Jedi (yes they had him on hold for 3 hours and he kept bouncing between departments it was very annoying with Obi-Wan’s little fangies teething on his vambraces making the most annoying sound ever the whole time) and now he’s able to sorta blank for a solid 30 seconds before blurting out that they have force sensitive babies and the Jedi can’t have them and then Anakin HANGS UP ON THEM YOU LIL SHIT THAT DIDNT SOUND GOOD and the Jedi sorta like text him back all ‘??? Good for you???’ And now Jaster has to call them again and explain that he needs help with these lil shits teething on his armor and throwing people into walls when they sneeze and the temple is all ‘listen we can send out a master with docs but we’re a lil busy looking for a Stewjoni initiate that disappeared from the nursery’ ‘oh you mean this one?’ *holds up Obi by an ankle who’s chewing furiously on a vambrace’ and says they can’t have him back the kara gave him that baby!!!!! So now they have to send out a team whereupon Plo and Dooku are suckered into a -three way with Jaster- a deal upon which the Mandos will help the Jedi leave the Republic who use them like attack dogs and then they can stop slavery together and raise babies!

Anyways. I just think that would be neat.