#stewjoni headcanons

[hannibalzero]

Obi-wan bad habits

Headcanons 🐰❤️🐰❤️

Emotionally shutting down, he’s not meditating he’s checked out.

Death sticks/cigarettes. Obi-wan isn’t a smoker but after a horrible battle. He will light one and share it with Anakin. A traditional thing he used to do with Qui-gon-Jin

Excessive cleaning, not a speak of dust on anything. He’s stressed

Parenting Anakin. Anakin is a grown ass man (allegedly ) Obi-wan will slid back into the old relationship when distracted. He will laugh at himself and apologize to Anakin. To Anakin’s credit it takes it gracefully

Caffeine. While Stewjoni’s can not have caff. (Think horrible lactose, intolerant tummy issues) Obi-wan loves his tea. Anything highly caffeinated he’s in love.

Sweets. The Jedi diet is rather strict, think lazy keto. But every now and then, Obi-wan needs something with sugar and will eat a whole cake.

Datapads, as clean and orderly as he can be. Datapads gets left wherever. But Obi-wan makes a point to clean them up by bedtime

Bedding, a good sum of Obi-wan’s credits go to his amazing bed. Mattress, sheets, pillows, quilts and comforters. Even Padme would be jealous.

Obi-wan tends to fuss with Anakin’s appearance when they are about to go on a mission. Fixing his robes, cloak, rubbing a spot off of his mecha arm

Halonet romance novel messing boards…yeah he is a fan of a few series. Blame Satine for getting him into these trashy books. But it’s rather fun being swept up in these silly stories of grand romance.

[constantlymisspelled]

Lost my mind and started design an entire culture and biology for Stewjon. Anyway…

[sharoscylla]

i was hoping "stewjoni biology" would mean something else

that being said I'm just straight up doing "extra teeth + sharper teeth + higher caloric and protein dietary requirements + pack bonding + higher population of Force Sensitives + goes feral under extreme stress/in confinement" stuff for the purpose of mentalillness-maxxing my stewj Former Child Star and half-stewj post-Ruusan aged-out Jedi Hopeful Turned Teen Archaeologist

[leol]

I would love nothing more than to read your felidae stewjoni doc - I laid eyes on your obi-wan design and reached absolution. I beg even a sliver of insight into the workings of your brilliance 🤲🙏

YAYYYYYY ur so sweet omg ok sooooo ive been sitting on this au for like a year which i created because i love worldbuilding, anthropology, and speculative biology/evolution so like a month or two ago i decided 2 finally sit down and write down my entire in depth headcanons for my near human stewjoni au in the form of a wookiepedia-esque article... the doc right now is sitting at 13 pages long cuz im delusional & ITS STILL A WIP im still adding and editing things but for the most part its legible and fully informative about my #vision

tldr if yall dont feel like scrolling thru my insane person manifesto, my felidae stewjoni au is an au in which the native inhabitants of the planet stewjon are a reclusive but peaceful race descended from their planets feline apex predator.. major inspirations for the (loosely) cultural and linguistic aspects of this au heavily feature northern china, mongolia, tibet, japan, south asia, and scotland.. i initially set out to create this au inspired by the popular japanese/scottish stewjon headcanons ive seen floating around but as the world kept expanding in my head it kind of strayed away from that specific vision but i eventually swung full circle..

at some point id like to finish all my stewjoni obw wips as well as draw stewjoni natives and the flora & fauna of the planet so i can add pictures 2 my doc but. well (scratches ass.. im doopid

IF U HAVE ANYYYY QUESTIONNNSSS or criticisms or WHATEVER IDGAF pleeeease please feel free to ask me anything im so obsessed w my own au ive been wanting 2 talk about it forever ..i am an infinite wellspring of knowledge fully at yalls disposal

[sammys-magical-au]

I gotta be honest, one of my biggest pet peeves in the Star Wars fandom is when people say Obi-Wan is Coruscanti. And like I know it’s a stupid fucking thing to get annoyed over but GL literally gave us a whole new planet to speculate about, even if it was a joke, Obi-Wan is Stewjoni. Not Coruscanti. And I feel dumb as fuck for ranting about this but it’s something that’s been on my mind.

Anyway since I like planet design my headcanon is that Stewjon is a grassland/savanna type planet, a bit like Tatooine but less dry & barren, and not quite as hot, with a few thin, scattered forests here and there. (Also bc I’m a nerd I think it orbits a K-type star, so it’s plant life is mostly red/orange/yellow in color).

[babkaboy]

fave stewjoni biology headcanons for horny obikin girlies like me?

first and foremost i stand by stewjoni ppl having a pussy and being able to lactate and get pregnant (some weird evolution going on in that planet bc of the decline of female stewjonians being born throughout generations)

but also, my fave hc might be one that my friend fel came up with and it turned my world upside down. basically stewjoni genitalia can morph into a pussy or a cock depending on the natural needs of the person. for example when obi-wan became a padawan and he happened to hit puberty at the same time, his cock turned into a pussy bc his body started to associate being so physically close to an older and virile man like qui-gon to the need of being bred. he spent all these years with a pussy and getting EXTREMELY horny and wet at the singlest touch by his master.

years later when anakin became his padawan, his pussy didn’t go away bc the child’s need for a new maternal figure in his life affected obi-wan in a way that not only his genitalia didn’t change but that his libido went to hell, his tits grew and he started lactating in order to accomodate his biology for this child he was about to raise. his body kept that form for many years until anakin turned into a volatile teenager and started to distance himself from obi-wan the more they fought. obiwan had to start becoming more authoritative and dominant to control his padawan, goodbye to sweet mommywan. his milk dried and his pussy turned into a cock after like 20 years (also it was probably a self defense mechanism bc at this point anakin is starting to become sexually attracted to his master and obi-wan’s body perceives this as a threat. maybe it even grasps anakin’s feral intentions and dark fantasies about raping his master so obi-wan’s body tries to protect itself by sealing his pussy). but anyways. fel wrote an amazing fic about this horny asf hc but i can’t find it 😭

EDIT: NEVERMIND I FUCKING FOUND IT

[squad-724]

Have the two lovebirds, Bly and Aayla

^…^…^…^…^

Republic dragon keeper: now, each Mandalorian commander can pick a dragon for their battalion

Bly pick Aayla

Republic dragon keeper: Sir, that is a Rylotian Dancer, those dragons are for looks and show

Aayla: *decimates anyone between her and Bly*

^…^…^…^…^

I’ve decided on some of the species names with my discord friends:

Anakin is a Dune Rainbringer: this species is known to fly high up in the desert sky just before a rain forms

Obi-Wan is a Maned Blossomwing: comes from Stewjoni (the Japanese based headcanon)

Plo Koon is a Dorin Devastator: they live on an island covered in Yellowstone like lakes, able to withstand very toxic air

Tattoinian Sandstorms are a species based on Tusken Riders, they’re smaller than normal dragons, they hunt in packs, raising clouds of sand to cover their movement during a hunt

And Aayla is a Rylothian Dancers, feathered species of dragons only known for looks and beautiful voice similar to birds

[padawansuggest]

Ok so not to kick a hornets’ nest but I headcanon anakin as an intersex unlabeled eldritch entity.

Like think about it. Considering the fact that anakin is half force and that all dead things pass on to the force kind of implies that Anakin is made out of dead people, or at least their life force.

Also because the force created anakin I don’t see any real reason for it to pick making him a man. Like I don’t think the force knows what it is i think it just checked both boxes and that’s it. I also think that anakin doesn’t care for the concept of gender and just goes with the flow and tbh he is kind of a lesbian

George Lucas has never established a real magic system for the force and because of that I can apply as many implications that I want on anakin’s weird biology from the vague shit that is established in canon

Lmaooooo. Consider, since I also headcanon Stewjoni as dualsex; everyone in the temple is all ‘Anakin is rather weird for a Stewjoni… maybe his fangs never grew in’ till one day they check his DNA, nope, 100% human. He’s just got Both Parts.

Anakin goes through a 15yo mental crisis that Shmi and Obi-Wan have to talk him down from before he’s all ‘wait. Does this mean I’m not allowed to identify as female sometimes??? Because if I’m not Stewjoni I can’t change????’ And that’s when Obi finds out his baby is gender-fluid af

Shmi is so proud to have found these queers. She feels right at home.

[spokewar]

because stewjoni with any level of force sensitivity tend to have arranged marriages

obi-wan does have a suitor waiting for him who isn't allowed to marry anyone else (they totally secretly did) in case he returns (he totally won't)

thusly because i also headcanon master fay as stewjoni and she's lived for like 800 years

she has like a dozen fucking dead suitors and her name is on all of their gravestones and it's become a meme

[minecraftian1213]

You know I have this headcanon that Obi-Wan Kenobi and Cal Kestis are actually BOTH from Stewjon and I think it'd be funny that Anakin has troubles with two sassy ginger jedi from the same planet who may or may not be related but also broke into a fortress via water and still made it out in one piece

If you throw in that hc that Stewjoni hate force users then you'd get double the trauma. What if Obi was the one who had to visit the planet that tried to drown him for simply existing to retrieve another baby with the force (Cal).

Anyway I just think it'd be neat.

[teddybarebones]

There’s nothing I love more than making up features for the Stewjons, some of my favourites I’ve seen so far include:

- Particularly shiny/metallic hair

- Wings

- Purring (MY FAVOURITE EVER)

- Intersex (I like any kind of trans Obi)

- Protective over their family/pack

I love Stewjoni headcanons so much

[hannibalzero]

Stewjoni biology

Stewjoni is a planet of extremes. Four years of winter with four years of summer. The tallest mountain and the deepest valleys with reach farmland and diverse biodiversity.

It’s why Mandalore and Stewjoni are so close, what one planet lacks the other has an abundance of. Thus the nickname “lovers of the galaxy.”

Stewjoni’s people are just the same, gender is pretty much fluid. But everyone is intersexed, just the secondary gender needs a bit of stimulation to become ‘active.’

If they never interact with the female anatomy it simply retracts a bit like it was never there. The male anatomy turns into a nice clit.

Depends on the person, the environment and what is needed.

This is also why Stewjonis people are favored as lovers and pleasure slaves.

Why not both? (At least in the chase of humanoid lovers)

Tbh in space, just finding someone that is almost your same species is a miracle in itself. Even just dating your same species is considered picky as hell. 

[bojangos]

VIOLENCE ASKS.

3, 6, 16, 25? any or all of them

3: screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

“Jango Fett isn’t a real mandalorian because the only real mandalorians are New Mandalorians and No One Else”

Like. how.  What????? Wh. 

I was so rattled i just instinctively blocked the OP of that one like.  If you want to say he’s not a mandalorian, there are reasons (like TCW canon.  I disagree and fully think he IS mando but it’s a reason).  but the new mandalorians being the only legit mandos is Not One of Them.

6:which ship fans are the most annoying?

I say this as someone who is at least Somewhat fond of the ship. But codywan–

AGAIN.  I CAN ENJOY THE SHIP SOMETIMES.  But some fans are a bit…. Intense.  And the vast majority of codywan also suffers from major OOC behavior from both of them, which is not my fav.  I would just like to browse commander sunshine’s tag in peace please.

16: you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

Two things that are kind of linked to each other:

One: the obsession with obi-wan being a redhead (he is, generously, strawberry blond at best).

Two: making stewjoni people very,,,,,,,,,,,,, uh,,,,,,,, unique in sexual biology, for the express purpose of obi-wan shipping. It’s.  odd.

25: common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

Legends vs canon discourse.  Drives me nuts.  On one hand some people think that everything legends should be trashed because it’s not canon anymore, but on the other hand some Legends fans are rabid about their hate for canon.  Personally i think it’s fun to try and mesh the two together. Its a fun puzzle : )

[seven-oomen]

So i am almost up to 8500 words on Caught somewhere in time. I'm about to tackle the Attack of the clones part of the fic. And with that comes a new set of headcanons I'll be incorperating.

On Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Cal:

Obi-Wan almost left the order on two occasions: his relationship with Satine Kryze, and his choice to have Cal.

Anakin sees Cal as his little brother, though he is also torn on how to handle him, as a part of him sees Cal as competition for Obi-Wan's attention.

Cal's psychometry has gotten him into trouble more than once. But mostly because he either sees things people don't want him to see, or because he sees things that upset him greatly and he has panic attacks.

Cal's gift for chaos and crawling through vents were inherited from Obi-Wan. As is his gift for reading people and their intentions.

Cal has inherited a rather unexpected ability from his sperm donor, namely the ability to sharpshoot with a blaster pistol.

Padmé and Cal team up against Anakin. And although Anakin complains and whines that he is not happy about this, he secretely relishes in the absolute chaos that Padmé and Cal cause.

On Stewjon:

The planet stewjon is like space Florida. It has mangroves, swamps, that eventually roll out into grasslands and even has some forest. There's a lot of water on the planet, though it is inhabited by all sorts of predatory fish and reptiles, and even beaches or lakes are not that safe to swim in.

There's also plenty of farmland on the planet, and some of the larger cities are packed with resorts, hotel chains, and tourist attractions. Though further inland there's a lot of poverty and people barely scraping by.

The mangrove trees are harvested for their valuable Oljohn wood. It is specifically useful for making jewelry and wooden figurines, or detailing work.

Stewjoni are a people that are intersex by nature. As such, their entire concept of gender and sexuality are very different from more traditional planets. (By our earth standards).

A person who carried a baby is referred to as mom, regardless of their gender. A person who sired the baby is referred to as dad.

Their phenotype is determined by chromosomes, XX gives someone a masculine phenotype, XY gives someone a feminine phenotype.

(I deliberately changed this, do not come for me in the comments.)

Stewjoni can breed with humans, like Twy'leks, and their biology is a dominant trait over our human biology.

Many stewjoni come out with their gender around the age of 16, some do this earlier. Until that time, many Stewjoni address their children in a neutral way, or choose to adhere to their phenotype presentation until the child determines otherwise.

Stewjoni sometimes choose to single parent, and like Naboo, there is no taboo on sperm donors or artificial insemination. It's seen as a perfectly acceptable road to take.

There's also no taboo on abortion or birth control. When the entire population is intersex, and resources can be scarce, you also need ways to control the population.

-

On Jedi:

There were many Jedi in the order that had some form of attachment to others, though those active in the order also made sure that a. the council didn't find out about those attachments, and b. that the attachments didn't interfere with their duty.

Some Jedi also chose to have children. If the Jedi stayed within the order and agreed to its terms, the children would be brought to the temple on Coruscant and were raised there. The Jedi parents would have visitation rights and could see their children at most once a month, preferably less. If a child was not force sensitive by age 3, they would finish their time in the clan and by age 13 be sent to one of the corps. (Agricorp, medcorp, educorp, exploration corp).

If a child was force sensitive they would stay for training among a clan and by age 9 go to Ilum for the crystal ceremony. By age 13 they would be chosen as a Padawan by a knight or master that was NOT their parent. If they're not chosen, they too would go to the corp.

This caused some form of tension within the order, as quite a few (parental) members found the rules unfair or downright cruel.

Any Jedi that did not agree to the terms of having children within the order would be excommunicated and stripped of their rank. They would however be given supplies and credits to get them on their feet. The Jedi are strict and stifled, but fair and supportive with old members.

Children of Jedi that were Padawan learners or corp members were given ways to contact their Jedi parent once a month to keep in touch. At the age of 18 these children were given a choice to continue service or to cut ties with the order.

-

And since it's now 2 am I'll leave it at this.

[stinkythehutt]

i have a brand-spanking new headcanon that Obi-Wan hails from a Stewjon family with a long lineage originating somewhere near the sea, because a) he just has that vibe, but b) it means that I can say that in ancient Stewjoni language, the name Kenobi is drawn from a colony of people who live near beaches, i.e. “Ken” the word for a scenic cliffside, and “Obi” the word for “from.” Obi-Wan, then, harks back to “Obi” - from - and “Wan” - water. From-Water, From Cliffsides.

all of this to say, when Obi-Wan names himself Ben Kenobi on tatooine his name translates, roughly, to Ben Dover. :-)

[kenobster]

People really can’t tell the difference anymore between ultra literal canon character analysis and people analyzing characters they love through the lenses of their own lives and people making jokes. Everything is taken sooo so literally and everyone just attacks if it doesn’t align with what they think. I’m sorry people are being rude to you. Eldest daughter Obi-Wan for life.

luckily no one is being mean to me (yet), I've just been seing some posts that make me see red, and I had to let off some steam. but thank you, anon!!! <3

anyway, fuck yeah, Eldest daughter Obi-Wan for life!!!!

You're so right about like how people no longer can see the divide between serious character analysis and silly stress-unwinding jokes. Like, I am of the mind that we all came here to let loose after work and take our bras/binders off and slouch around in our PJs. And now they're telling me I'm not allowed to make jokes about Obi-Wan being a mastermommy anymore? 🥺Pfft. Good luck with that lmfao.

It's also funny because the tags on one specific post I'm thinking of talk about how fandom loves to "gender-role" the shit out of Obi-Wan in super "misogynist" ways... and I'm okay, well, why don't we talk about the fact that people make him dualsex, often for no reason other than they want to put a penis in a feminine man's vagina instead of a bisexual man's anus? Like, what about that, huh?

I mean I'm not gonna rain on anyone's Stewjoni parade, but I'm just saying if someone's gonna complain about Eldest Daughters being misogynist for discussing their feelings via a blorbo, then I kinda expect that person to not ignore other popular misogynist/queerphobic headcanons sweeping through the continent lmao