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mntalbrakdown · 1 year ago

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sober thoughts - C. Fisher

masterlist!

mentions of: underage drinking, cussing, fluff, smut. MDNI. piv, unprotected sex, fingering

synopsis: you were once friends with conrad until summer happened and he just stopped talking to you

wc: 5.7k

“don’t ever forget me” your little twelve-year-old self whispered to Conrad who was a year older than you

“never,” he said playing with your hair as you both lay on the grass watching the fireworks on the fourth of July. your head laying on his chest.

“y/n are you almost ready” Belly yelled at you trying to get you to hurry up for the party you were about to go to with her and Taylor

“yes almost,” you say playing with your hair and making sure each strand is not misbehaving

“chill belly being hot takes time,” Taylor says applying more lip gloss

“anyways y/n how are you and Conrad” Taylor puts away her lip gloss in her purse

“he’s an ass and I don’t even talk to him,” you said

“What did you even do,” Belly asked playing with the ends of her hair

“I don’t know we were really close in Cousins and like two years ago in summer I started to get guys' attention and all of a sudden he got distant,” you said reminiscing the best summer of your whole life you told the girls you pulled 6 boys the whole summer but that came at a cost, losing the one guy you loved

“you had a glow-up,” Taylor says looking at you and holding your hand

“yeah, she did” you see Jeremiah at Belly’s door frame which made you smile. they've been flirting back and forth

“are we ready,” Belly asked and you nodded

you all headed downstairs to see Susannah and Laurel in the kitchen probably stoned and said goodbye to them. when you arrived at the car Belly called shotgun which meant you and Taylor would sit in the back of Jeremiah’s Jeep.

“so y/n you're the driver tonight right” Jeremiah looked at you from the rearview mirror

“when am I not” you scoff looking out the window. it wasn’t a rude remark it was a sarcastic one because you don’t really do any substances. so it was common sense that you would drive

everyone in Cousins lived close to one another so it didn’t take long to hear the loud music and the screams coming from a house. the house was already spilling bright colors on the street making you excited. when Jeremiah finally parked he handed you the keys because one time he held onto them and lost them. it was a whole ordeal, you spent an extra hour at the house trying to find them when he had them in a random coat that was hung up by the front door.

“hey Steven is here” Taylor pointed out to his car seeing that they also just got here.

“who’s that next to him,” Belly asks as you were getting out of the car looking at your phone for any new notifications when you accidentally bump into a tall stature

“oh sorry,” you both say looking at each other

"con what is wrong with you" you yelled at him. it was no use when he was in his own world he stayed there for at least a week. usually, you could get him out, but something was different that summer, you couldn't change him

"leave me alone" Conrad yelled at you, he was running up the stairs and the next thing you heard was his door closed shut. it was hard to miss, it echoed all over the house

"I'm so sorry for him," Susannah said.

the plan that day was to go watch a movie that was playing in the drive-in and then play at the beach with the whole group and watch the tide as you and Conrad listened to the music and possibly help you surf. but all that went down the drain and you didn't even know why.

“conrad” you say looking to meet his gaze.

“Conrad is here, y/n let’s go, no,” Taylor says screaming ready for you to get into the car making him laugh which you missed hearing

“Taylor it’s ok,” you say as she is getting out of the car with a stank face already plastered on

“hi Conrad,” she says moving her way in between the two of you and grabbing your hand to drag you to the party

as you were getting dragged into the party you were greeted by a group of people already by the door and a couple making out at the end of the hall

“hey I'm going to go get a drink” Taylor yells at you trying to get her voice to be heard over the music. you on the other hand were ready to go to the living room just to people watch

the thing was when you were at parties you would straight b-line to the living room because although people liked to conversate, that is the last place they would go. You liked to sit there and try to find other drivers there and you would make friends with them. It was hard to talk to a drunk person because they were boring and slur their words together. Today you saw Cameron, he is always there. You grew to like him like it was hard to anyway. He was so nice and you both had things in common.

"hey" you heard his little smile in his voice

"hi cam," you say receiving a bottle of water he got you

"so who are you here tonight with" cam asked you

"Jeremiah, Taylor, and Belly," you say

"so Conrad is still being weird," cam asked

"yeah," you said a bit disappointed. you told Cam everything because he was there and being sober at a party is pretty boring

"that's weird because he is staring at us," Cam says looking over at him; making you follow his gaze. Conrad had this weird look on his face, his eyes were dark, but it wasn't because of the lighting it was something else. hatred? you brushed it off he isn't your problem, never will be.

"y/n want to play uno" Conrad yelled at you from the bottom of the stairs.

Uno was your favorite game to play at Susannah's house in the summer. It was always perfect. The adults were never there so it would make you feel comfortable with everyone else. It was when you would sit next to Conrad before he was unavailable and you two would team up without everyone knowing. In reality, everyone knew. and you both would win. you would take turns on who would win to make it seem "less" suspicious.

"so" cam says snapping you from your haze

"right duh" you laugh grabbing the mini uno you would always carry it around because it helped you make friends with people

"ooo can we play" Some random girls joined in and you said yes because you had no real reason to say no, plus uno is best played with more than two

"I'll join too," Conrad says gripping his beer rather firmly. he sat next to you on the couch ready to get the cards you shuffled.

when the games began you kept beating everyone. the games were simple, leave the best cards until the very end, unless and only if you ever need them, then go for it.

bzzz bzzz

you quickly checked the notification that came from your phone trying to not miss what was going on in the game.

"who is it" conrad asks his jaw clenching

"no one," you say giving him a weak smile, it was also none of his business because he doesn't care about you anymore

"sure" Conrad says putting a plus four that is directed towards you. so this is how he wanted to play the game? you grabbed the four cards, getting nothing that would help you against him. it was Cam's turn and he put reverse to try to protect you from Conrad

"your little boyfriend is now your new buddy," Conrad questioned under his breath

"not like you give a shit" you retort back

"you are so clueless," Conrad says making you the most confused person at the party. you just continued to play after the game ended you decided you wanted a coke. so you got up and told Cam you would be back for another round

you walked through crowded groups and at one point you saw Belly makeout with Jeremiah. taking note of that to bring up later. You than saw Taylor with another man who looked like three years older than her. When you finally got your coke you opened it taking a sip going back to the couch

"oh fuck" you let out spilling some of the coke onto your white tube top.

"sorry" you hear a familiar voice come out it was Conrad.

"we have to stop doing this or else we might actually get hurt," you say smiling at the way Conrad was trying to get napkins to clean the mess up. It was no use. your shirt was ruined.

"it's the universe trying to get us together" Conrad blurted out "I'm drunk" he tried to fix the situation, but he was never drunk, he was only ever tipsy.

"drunk words are just sober thoughts" you say looking down at your shorts to see if they were dirty.

"can we talk" conrad asks looking down at you

"yeah" you smile at him

he grabbed your hand and led you outside to the front yard where there were only a couple of people out. he saw that the stain on your shirt only got worse so he gave you his button-up shirt that he never lets go of.

"what's up," you say to him

"the stars look beautiful don't they" conrad was looking up

as a kid, you were obsessed with the moon and the stars. you had a friend that was the stars to your moon. you missed her, and you kept in touch but if you could you would bring her to Cousins. you would always talk about her to the others, knowing they would love her as well. You also face-timed her all the time. Conrad would get mad, saying that you were his for the summer and that she has you all year round. that she was selfish

"it's my time," Conrad says to your friend who was on your phone screen

"con give me my phone," you say slapping him and tugging at his hand

"it's summer byeee" he says as he pressed the red button on the phone

"i hate you," you say to him

"in your sweet dreams you do," he says cockily

"Conrad I thought this was going to be more of a serious conversation," you say trying to shake the idea of the summers you once had with the man standing in front of you

"I miss you," he says to you. sober thoughts. it took you aback it wasn't something you expected from him

"that isn't my fault," you say back with an attitude

"i know, i just got jealous" he said to you

"jealous of what con" he could have grabbed you and kissed you on the spot. he missed that name from your mouth. he craved it every day to the point he would replay voice memos you would send to him back when you two would speak

"of other guys," he said looking into your eyes to see if he scared you off, but all he saw was your face brightening up

"you were the only person on my mind con," you said to him grabbing his hand. if this was a dream, never wake him up. "you were the only thing coming out of my mouth when I was at school, all the guys that you saw hit me up are left on seen, I wanted you, I want you, I always have" you say looking at his face finally tug at his lips to form a smile

"good because I don't want to share," he says leaning down ready to kiss you. As he did he wrapped one arm around your waist the other in your hair tugging at it as you were smiling through the kiss and your hands on both his cheeks.

"get a room" Steven yelled at you two, leading Conrad to release the hand that was in your hair and flipping him off. making you laugh while you both kissed.

"let's get out of here," Conrad said to you

"i can't," you said, you had a job

"fuck the others Steven can drive them," he said in a way that he just wanted you to be by his side

"but how will they get home" you try to reason

"Steven has his keys c'mon let's go to my house, please" he kisses the top of your forehead.

"fine, but if they complain that is your fault," you say pointing at him

"that is fine by me," he says carrying you to spin you around

as you two were getting in the Jeep you started to fasten your seatbelt as Conrad did the same. He looked over at you, seeing how you adjusted the mirrors to get all the angles.

"I think this is the first time I see you drive," he says admiring you, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear

"get used to it con," you say looking at him, melting at his touch

"Oh I will" he whispered

you started the car, you hated driving the Jeep it was so big and excessive. But desperate times call for desperate measures. You played some music in the car for the six-minute car ride. you could feel Conrad's eyes on you the whole time, seeing how you turned and how you checked the mirrors.

as you arrive at their house you park the car and let him get out, you were collecting your things in the car to get out when Conrad opens the door for you.

"thank you" you smile, he closes the door behind you and you lock the car. he holds your hand as he heads over to the front door to open it

"hi conrad" you hear Susannah

"hi y/n nice seeing you two together again," Laurel says from the couch

"glad to be back" you smile at the two adults

"oh you are so beautiful, we missed you," Susannah said

"thank you I missed you too" you smile and let go of Conrad's hand to hug her. She was always so sweet to you

"Mom, she's mine back off, we're going to my room" Conrad says taking your hand again

"bye talk to you guys later" you scream as Conrad is dragging you upstairs

once you got upstairs you see Conrad's door. he opened it with his free hand and led you in. It was still the same. the beach aesthetic and the colors. He had the plush you gave him. it was an orange cat with a pink collar, you named it Lasnaga and you had an orange cat with a blue collar named Garfield. it was funnier when you actually named them.

"oh ignore that" he said looking at the cat

"you still have it" you question, a smile forming on your face

"yeah" it looked like he slept with it and he even still had the perfume you gifted him it was now half empty

"I miss you" you heard from the other line of your phone

"I miss you too," you say back, it was almost Christmas and it was a time when you wished you could go to Cousins, but your mom would say no. "I got you a Christmas present," you say smiling through the camera lens

"yeah, I got it, thank you" One of the gifts was a perfume bottle, it smelled like vanilla and it was your go-to scent "Thank you" Conrad says

"I don't use that scent anymore," you say picking it up

"what" Conrad looked defeated, he was spraying that scent to remember you and you switched scents. he felt betrayed

"I'll get you a new one for Christmas" You smile at him grabbing his hands which made his smile come back

"y/n" he grabbed your attention using his pointer finger to make you look at him

"yes con" one moment you were just staring at his eyes the next thing you knew Conrad was leaning in to kiss you. this kiss was more meaningful as if to pick up from lost time, from the time that was wasted on jealousy and insecurity, because even though it wasn't official that you were Conrad's, you both knew you were meant for one another

Conrad's hands went back to their respective place, one in your hair and the other around your waist. yours were on his cheek and the other in his hair.

"fuck I missed you," he says catching his breath from the kiss

conrad went back but deepened the kiss, it was something that made you happy. You kept smiling through the kiss. you couldn't believe this was happening. Conrad pulled at your hair to make you moan so he could slip his tongue in and fight for dominance, he obviously won; you were still smiling throughout the make out because you couldn’t believe what was happening. Conrad guided you to his bed, he sat on the corner making you straddle his lap.

"are you ok with this," Conrad asked pulling away from the kiss, you could see some of your lipstick on his mouth

"yes, god fuck yes Conrad," you say giggling at the way his face quickly erased his worriedness to pure excitement

Conrad continued his attack, but this time it was on your neck, making sure it would show to others that you were his, that even though people haven't seen you both together for almost two years, you guys are better than ever. Conrad tugged and took off the button-down that he gave you and the dirty tube top. You weren't wearing a bra underneath, and Conrad couldn't be more excited

Conrad carried you off the bed for a second and laid you down on his bed. your hair was perfectly sprawled on the pillow as if it made a halo. Conrad could’ve sworn he saw a little heart that was made from your hair. as you waited for Conrad to take his shirt you got the cat to play around with.

"you're so beautiful," Conrad says going down to kiss you

when he pulls away he takes off your shorts and shoes followed by your socks making you giggle at his fast antics. you were wearing a lace thong that was pink making Conrad smile.

"what's going on in that pretty head of yours,” you say reaching for Conrad's face as he melts into your touch, practically purring.

"you, you're all I think about" Conrad says smiling at you his hand traveling down to your thighs removing your panties too, and then he feels how wet you already are. he licked his two fingers as a lubricant and started to finger you. he slipped two fingers in seeing how tight you were and kept pacing in and out. you followed his fingers as they disappeared and reappeared. sucking on your bottom lip to not draw attention to his room. he looked at your face seeing how it contoured to the way the rhythm, then added more stimulation by massaging your clit.

"fuck Conrad, so good," you say almost screaming as you scratch his back with your nails

"shhh, look at me" Conrad says covering your mouth, but he loved the way your eyes looked at him "Sound so pretty but they can't hear you or the fun is over," he says leaning in to kiss you to muffle your screams.

Conrad soon leaves your mouth to go to your tits to suck on as you grab his hair for extra support. you tugged once and heard a yelp, making you want to fuck him already

he continued with his action. adding fingers as he goes. As he did you gasped, you kept your nails on his back almost drawing blood. conrad was circling your clit with his other hand to speed the process up. he needed you.

“god you’re so tight” he says looking at you with lust filled eyes

Conrad added a third finger as he saw you were about to release and reattached his lips onto yours wanting the fun to continue. he saw the way your body arched off the bed and made sure to continue the pace you were on. to make you orgasm

“look so pretty, come for me” he said spurring you on

“fuck conny” you say pulling at his hair to kiss you and something inside you snapped when he kissed you. you were leaking off his finger. when he looked down in between the two of you he saw the mess grabbing some of your liquid and putting it in your mouth

“fuck so hot” he said going in to kiss you tasting you as well

“my turn” you say with your fucked up makeup and some of your cum on the side of your mouth

“no i just really need you right now” conrad says taking his pants and underwear off as well as everything else.

“i want to be on top” you say to him biting the bottom of your lip

“whatever you want pretty girl” he says grabbing you and putting you on top of him

once you were on top of him you saw how big he was. you grabbed his member massaged him than started to glide him into your heat seeing how he threw his head back in pure pleasure

“stop teasing” he said grabbing onto your wrists and leading his length to your heat

“fuck fisher” you said mad he took all the fun out

“i’m trying to” he retorted making you laugh but that made you sink into him and turned into a loud pornagraphic moan making Conrad startled soon hearing footsteps leading to the door and a knock

“conny is everything ok” you could hear Susannah but this made the experience even better you fucked him up and down side to side to try to make it hard for him to answer his mom

“y-yeah everything is good there’s a porn scene on the horror movie we were watching- fuck” he said yelling to his mom

“oh ok” she says retreating backstairs

“you’re so dead” conrad said to you, but he never meant it. you looked so beautiful riding him as your boobs bounced up and down and saw how your hair was messily parted to the side and fell beautifully over your body. he knew you knew you looked great by the way you bit the bottom of your lip

“god you’re so big” you say looking down at him. putting your hand on his chest for extra support

he couldn’t help admire you. how your tits would go up and down and he had to massage them with his hand. the other was on your waist wanting you to go faster, but he just made your body lay against his as he took your lips with his teeth. his hand that was once on your tits went to your hair and tugged on it earning a low moan from you. the other traced his name on your back adding tickles to make you moan and hopefully come close. once he noticed your body become sloppy he held onto your waist and switched positions with him

“holy fuck that was hot” you said out loud to him

“only for you” he says leaning into your neck to suck on your sweet spot making you moan even more

he saw the way your hair fell back on his pillow. the image he once had of you will forever be tainted by this memory. the memory of him fucking you into oblivion. how his penis would go in and out of you seeing his length covered in white paint from the two of you

he didn’t know that you liked the way his hair fell from his forehead and floated in the air as he fucked you. how his arms would be veiny and how you followed them like a dog to bacon. that every time he wanted to show you something you just looked at his hands.

“fuck me harder” you said to Conrad as you dragged his face to yours to go in for a kiss. he took his free hand and started to massage your clit wanting you to come already.

“come for me again, want to see you come on my dick” he said so close to your face that his hair tickled you, his breath as well. “need you to come for me” his blue eyes following yours and how they were sparkling from pure euphoria

with one last thrust you came for him. his lips covering your mouth and when you were done moaning. his mouth was on your chin ready for another hickey. he nibbled at it. when his thrusts started to become sloppy you started to nibble at his ear. moaning in it to spur him on and saying sweet nothings like “god you’re so big” “taking me so good” “fuck me just like that”

“im yours conny, only yours” was the one that made him shoot his load into you

“oh fuck i’m so sorry” he said as he still kept thrusting into you coming down from his high

“don’t worry about it i’m on the pill” you say looking at his fucked out face and tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear

he leaned in to kiss you deepening the kiss he felt the cum that was leaking outside the two of you. when he was ready to let go you bit the bottom of his lip to see what he would do

“god you’re all i need” Conrad said going back to kiss you. when you both got out of breathe he went into his bathroom to get a cloth to clean you up

“you look beautiful from this angle” Conrad looked at you wanting to take a picture of the way your legs were open for him as the liquid oozed out of you

“get used to it” you said to him as he cleaned you up. he smiled at the thought that this wasn’t a one time thing

“oh i will” he says going to your face and peppering your face with kisses all over

he went over to a drawer he had always designated to you. it had some clothes that you left there when you would stay over. he handed you some shorts you always wore when you were here that did nothing but show your ass, but they were cute; they were white with pink polka dots and tossed you a shirt that was Conrad’s but you always used to use it because it was baggy and had your home state with it.

“i don’t want to wear that shirt today” you said

“what why” Conrad asked puzzled he didn’t do anything to that shirt

“you wear it, not in the mood to wear a shirt” you say to him mischievously. he took the hint as he was putting on some shorts and was ready to go under the covers of his bed making you follow behind

“than neither am i” he said kissing your forehead “some makeup wipes are on the nightstand by the way” he says pointing at the drawer next to you

“thank you” you say taking one and wiping your face off when you were done you threw it away in the trash can that was next to you

“so you never forgot me did you” you asked as you were going to cuddle his chest

“no never” he said looking down at you as he was turning the tv on to watch superbad one of your favorites

“and you never forgot about my things did you” you say giddily seeing what he was doing

“nope, i watched this every time i missed you” he said it as a matter of fact

“kiss me” you say out loud. and he did he leaned down to kiss you as you waited for the movie to load in. he was so delicate this time as if what he did was not him and someone else. that he would always be delicate with you

“you’re all i ever wanted” he said whispering it into you making you smile as the movie played.

you both laughed at the scenes. this movie has seen it all: your childhood, Conrad being by himself without you , and the two of you after you fucked each other. when another funny scene happened and you didn’t laugh Conrad looked down to see you asleep in his arms. your boobs were pressed against his chest and he decided it was time for him to go to sleep as well.

in the morning it was Conrad who woke up first from the rays of the sun. he then saw his clock and saw that it was only 9 am. he decided to just look at you sleep. how you would breathe and how you looked in his arms. the little smile on your face as your dream progressed. god he wished that was him making you smile. Conrad reached for his phone to take a picture of you. knowing this would be a perfect wallpaper. the way the hickeys he left on you were now visible. how you had no makeup but your hair was still as perfect as it was last night and this time noticing the locket necklace he got you from when you were kids on your thirteenth birthday

“thank you Conrad” you say hugging him once you finished opening the box that held the necklace. it was a picture of the two of you from when you were younger when you were both about seven and six.

“you’re welcome. you were practically begging for one all year” he said glad you liked his gift and ever since than you never took it off

he was infatuated with you.

“i’ll never forget you” Conrad whispered into your hair kissing the top of your head

“hey” you say in a raspy voice

“morning” he said back with a big grin on his face

“smells good” you could smell the muffins from downstairs. making Conrad laugh. he looked at you for about thirty minutes admiring you and the first thing you think about is food? “you look pretty con” you said kissing his lips. his hair was messy and his eyes were brighter today. he looked happy.

“so do you” he said smiling at you. if only you knew.

“what time is it” you ask finally rubbing your eyes. when you were done Conrad gave you his phone to look at the clock but the first thing you saw was you. the photo he took this morning. “con did you take this right now” you asked looking into his eyes

“yes do you like it” he asked looking to see if you were mad but he only saw a smile form on your face

“it’s cute i need one now too” you say trying to let go of his grip to get up and get a muffin

“no stay” he says grumpy

“i need one of those muffins, i’ll come back” you say prying at his hands

“fine i’ll race you” he says getting up and trying to find a shirt as you do the same when you did. you ran out the door fighting Conrad downstairs almost falling like ten times.

“woah” you here from downstairs

“i thought we were going to go into war right now” Jeremiah joked

“shut up” Conrad said hitting Jeremiah’s chest

“oh hey y/n didn’t know you were still here” Laurel said

“yeah I accidentally fell asleep to superbad” you say which wasn’t a lie. it was hard to lie to Laurel she could smell bullshit from a mile away.

“wait what happened between you guys” Taylor asked looking at your neck making you hide your hickeys with your hair

“nothing, we just made up” you said looking at her and the last muffin

“more like made out” Belly added which made you send her a death stare which caused you to lose the muffin to Conrad

“fuck you” you whisper to him

“oh but you already did” he said with the most shit eating grin you’ve ever seen as he eats the muffin. when you hit his stomach he hands over the muffin with a loud groan

“thank you” you say kissing him

“eww get a room” Jeremiah said

“we just came out of one” Conrad said as quick as the speed of light making you look at him with wide eyes

“I missed this” Susannah said “y’know ever since you left y/n he has never been this chipper”

“is that so” you say looking at Conrad all this time you thought he was fine especially with all the girls he dated

“so true” Steven added

“we missed you” Belly said. she meant it in the way you could finally be in the same room as all of them without having to walk on eggshells “also Cam told me to give you this” it was your uno cards from the other night

“thank you” you smile at her

“give me another bite” Conrad said as he wraps his arms around your waist and you practically feed him “thank you” he said which followed by an mhm coming from your mouth

“want to go to the beach later” you asked looking up at him to see if he would agree or not

“sure” he replied. making you already excited and smiling back at the muffin before taking a bite and feeding another piece to Conrad

“can we go at night” he questioned

“and skinny dip” you whispered for only him to hear which made him already look forward to see the moon.

“this is seriously cute” Taylor says to Belly who nods

“i love you” Conrad said to you kissing the top of your head as he saw how everyone was so welcoming of the new couple

“i love you more” you say looking up at him which made him kiss you

—-

a/n: part two..??

3K notes · View notes

fictionalmenxyn · 4 months ago

Text

¡𝟏𝟎 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐈 𝐇𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐀𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮!

Pt.1 (making it a story…hopefully) (ALSO not movie accurate!!) (will be based in modern time rather than the 90s/00s)

Pairing: Rafe x reader (strangers/enemies to lovers)

(Face claim: Jessica Alba)

Warnings: language, mentions of the word ‘rape’ (due to a part in the book I reference ‘heroes’ if you haven’t read it, I kinda recommend, I read it for my gcse and it was one of the better books I did for English 😭)

-❂❂❂-

It was the beginning of summer, life was great. Even greater for Rafe, new place, fresh start. Moving from California, to Outer Banks was a big change. Well, it was nice for him. He hoped the people… mainly girls… were different from the fake basic girls in Cali.

It was his first day of school, as for you, it was a normal day of school.

You were in your stone grey Toyota gt86, blasting your rock chick music. As the car next to you blasts white chick music. You rolled your eyes at the basic taste of music.

You pulled off as soon as the light hit green. Driving over to the high school.

Once on you had parked up, you got out of the car. Grabbing your tote bag from the back seat you closed both doors and locked your car. Putting your keys into your bag. You adjusted the straps on your shoulder.

Rafe was already there, talking with his ‘tour guide’. The guy, Jake, went through the basics. More specifically the basics of what group of people was what. The ‘jocks’, ‘popular girls’, ‘cowboys’, etc.

That’s when Rafe spotted you from afar. You walked over to your small (preferably) friendship group. Sitting with them on the small brick wall.

Rage’s attention went from you as Jake patted his shoulder and chuckled. Rafe asked “who’s that??” Jake replied “that, my friend, is Y/n Y/l/n… no point in going for her, man.” Rafe’s eyebrow raised “why not??” Jake answered “dude, she’s like got a huge attitude and kinda a bitch…” Rafe scoffed “you probably said something to upset her or some shit, that’s why..” Jake shakes his head “all I’m sayin’ is, watch out for her, man.”

Rafe’s attention was back on you. The way your hair naturally curls, the way your white band tee hugged your chest nicely, the way your long black skirt hugged your curves in all the right places. The way the slight showed just the right amount of thigh that it would be a nice view; but doesn’t dress code you. The way your docs topped off the outfit nicely. Edgy, but modest. You had different style to other girls in the school. And Rafe, for the first time, wasn’t complaining. He never thought he’d be into girls that didn’t wear dresses that practically suffocated them. Or girls that didn’t wear skirts that showed half of your ass. You were different, a good different.

The bell snapped him out of his thoughts. Shit, he has class, he looked over to you one more time to see you walking away with your friends.

-❂❂❂-

You sat in class, the teacher spoke “so? Did anyone even bother to read heroes??”

A girl raised her hand, “yeah, it was so romantic…” you rolled your eyes and remarked “romantic? Larry raped Nicole, so Francis went on a mission. Then it was wasted cause he didn’t even get to complete the mission cause Larry shot himself. Then Nicole and Francis didn’t even reconnect officially… hardly a love story..”

The teacher spoke “thank you, Y/n… didn’t need the summary but thanks…” you crossed your arms and leaned back into the plastic chair “why can’t we read better books by better authors… like Emily Brontë, or George Orwell, even Chuck Palahniuk, maybe even Steven Ki-”

Your teacher spoke “alright, we get it, you say it every time, and I always say..” you mocked “I can’t do a single thing, it’s the school that picks, not me..” your teacher nodded “exa-” the classroom door opens.

Rafe walks in, he gave a small smile “wha’d I miss?” You look over your shoulder. Looking him up and down “discussing the fact this school picks shitty books rather than actual interesting ones…” he smirked when he heard you speak “great.” He left the class.

You looked to your teacher, they spoke “office, now” you place your books in your tote bag and put it over your shoulder. You gave a small smirk to your friends as they subtly cheered for you. As the completely agreed with your argument.

You walked down the hallway, Rafe leaned against the lockers on his phone. As you walked past he looked up, “Y/n… right?”

You turned on your heel and faced him “who’s asking?” He chuckles softly “I’m uh, Rafe… Rafe Cameron…” you nodded “I know, you’re Ward’s son, right??” He raised an eyebrow. How did she know?

You quickly added “my dad is in the same company as the one your father joined. He told me they chatted and mentioned that you’d be joining here…” he nodded “oh right… yeah, uh where you headin’?”

“The office, once again, the English teacher never likes me.” He chuckled as he walked over to her “why’s that? You smarter than her?” You shrug “wouldn’t say smart, I just have good taste in book unlike her or the school…” he nodded. Shoving his hands in the pockets of his slacks “so… mind if I walk with you?” You shook your head “I don’t mind. I wasn’t going to the principals office anyways..” he smirked “bad girl, huh?” You playfully rolled your eyes “more like, the principal is fed up of me going to her office… so here I am, roaming the halls for the next…” you look at your watch “..ten minutes”

He nods, you walk side by side. Rafe didn’t know what he was feeling. He wasn’t intimidated but felt almost shy. He couldn’t describe it, you look the type to rip people’s head off if they bark back at you. But honestly… that was hot in his eyes.

-❂❂❂-

It was currently lunch, you sat on the bleachers with your friends. Eating lunch and talking about anything and everything.

Rafe sat with Jake and a few of Jake’s friends. Rafe clicked almost instantly with Topper and Kelce. They’re both interested in golf, partying, girls, etc. So naturally they clicked.

Rafe would glance over to you from time to time. Topper chuckled “hey, if you keep lookin’ she’s gonna see, dude” Rafe rolled his eyes “fine with me.” The guys chuckled.

Kelce asked “hey Top, Y/n friends with your sister, right??” Topper nodded then sipped his can of Pepsi. Rafe looked to Topper, “wait seriously??” Topper put tossed his can in the trash “yeah, dude, she’s over my place quite a lot.”

Rafe’s ears perked, over Topper’s place quite a lot?? Damn…

He then looked back over to the group to see his sister, Sarah, walk over and sit with them. He watched as Sarah and you talked and laughed. He thinks to himself ‘if she’s friends with Sarah, that means she might come over our place? Oh. My. God’

-❂❂❂-

It was an hour or two after school, you sat on the couch. Your Marshall headphones resting on your head as you listen to music and read.

You hear footsteps approaching, it was your father. He holds an envelope to you. You pulled your headphone down, resting them around your neck. You opened the envelope and gasped “no way!” Your dad asked “what is it??” You answered “I got in! The art and music college we talked about! I got in!” He smiled “really?! Congrats, sweetie!”

Your younger sister (who’s completely opposite to you, full glam and girly, made you wanna gag) came downstairs is a slightly shorter than usual dress. Your father asked “and where are you going??”

Your sister, Gabs, replied “there’s this boy, his name is Brooks” you rolled your eyes “you mean the not so good looking guy who is a huge idiot??” “Shut up!!” Your sister looks back to your dad “he asked to go to the movies, go I pleaseee go daddy?” Your dad shakes his head “absolutely not, you know the rule. No dating till you graduate” Gabs rolls her eyes “please!” He replied “no, end of discussion.”

Gabs argued “this isn’t fair, Y/n gets to go out but I can’t??” You fake laughed “good one, Gabs.” Your father added “same rule applies to her.” You looked over to Gabs “and by the way, I’m not looking for anyone, not interested in a single soul…”

Gabs huffed, your father walks away. You crossed your legs on the couch and rested your now closed book in your lap. “So, where were you actually going? I assume you just lied to dad…” Gabs whispered “a party…” you lightly scoffed “you know you’re too young for those parties, especially with Brooks..” Gabs rolls her eyes “I’m only two years younger than you, quit it.”

Your father re-enters, “new deal, Gabs can have a date-” Gabs squealed and smiled. Your dad added “-if Y/n gets a date.” Gabs smiled drops. “What?! She won’t date! Daddy this is unfair!”

You grabbed your book and stood up, heading over to the stairs. Your sister complained “daddy! She won’t date at all, she’ll be buried and not have a date! C’mon!” You chuckled “good, I’ll keep it that way.” Gabs stood at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at you “you’re so selfish, you know that?!” You chuckled and walked down the hallway upstairs and to your room. Gabs huffed in annoyance.

If you date, Gabs can date. But you don’t wanna date anyone, do you? Not now, not ever… maybe that can change… maybe it’ll stay the same… who knows…

-❂❂❂-

127 notes · View notes

anika-ann · 2 months ago

Text

Ochranuj me (Protect Me) - S.R.

Part 1/2

Type: medieval/fantasy/fairy tale AU; a part of this pseudomedieval-fantasy AU

Pairing: knight Steve Rogers x reader Word Count: 8,6k

Summary: Your practice of magic is punishable by death. Your love is forbidden by law; and yet it has been blessed, more than he knows.

When the crown prince is poisoned, Knight Steven Rogers is faced with a choice: will he risk a war or the love of his life?

And what of you? If asked… shall you risk it all? For the lands where you live… for your knight?

Warnings: attempted murder, poisoning, blood, mentions of death, polytheism, mentions of pregnancy (reader/OFC), Slovak language ‘cause I can

A/N: Actual title is Ochraňuj mě (Protect Me) ...tumblr cannot handle a ň in their title 🙃 DIVIDER by @firefly-graphics; fits after the events of the previous instalments

A/N 2: This is one less smut and more plot, forgive me 🤭 I hope you'll enjoy anyway. Yes, the Merlin inspo is real here. Inspo also from Bílá laň by Vesna. For music, check it out here, for visuals here.

Chodila, chodila za tebou bílá laň lásky se napila navzdory všem přísahám. Prosila pány lesa ať ji pustí za tebou zažít si, jaké to je jít za srdce ozvěnou.

Tady je tvůj háj, tady je tvůj ráj, jinam nepatříš. Jako bílá laň svoji duši chraň, ať záři neztratíš.

Tady je tvůj háj, tady je tvůj ráj, jinam nepatříš. Tak ať nepotká tě kříž. (kříž, kříž, kříž) - Bílá laň by Vesna

Boisterous laugh. Wine poured in gallons painting cheeks nearly just as ruddy as the warmth of the torches illuminating the high halls of the Starkerbürg castle painted the walls. Rich aroma of butter, oils, meats and spices flowing in the air, clinking of the most precious silverware and a distant sound of flutes as the musicians tasked to raise the already high spirits could be barely heard over the noise of the feast.

Under the watchful eye of the gods or the only God it was now believed there was, a celebration of peace was raving, everything but peaceful and serene; loud and overwhelming instead, a whirlwind of emerald green threaded with gold welcomed by the steady colours of rich crimson and gold. An anniversary of the peace made between the kingdom of Asgard and Starkerbürg, a party led by Thor Odinson, the king of the lands, honouring the deal his late father King Odin had made right before his passing.

The high table with King Howard sitting at the centre, his son Anthony, the crown prince, by his right, along with the woman he was courting, Pepper of the Potts; on her right, King Howard’s daughter, Princess Morgana. On the king’s left, the guests of honour; King Thor, his wife Queen Jane, and his brother Prince Loki. Knights and warriors of the highest ranks, lords and ladies of nobility joining the celebrations, servants all but running around the hall to tend to everyone’s needs.

Then, a sound of a chalice hitting the stone floor, one that would have been met with more laughter, had it not fallen from Prince Anthony’s hand, suddenly scarily pale and trembling. Cold to touch too, a terrifying contrast to his burning forehead glistening with sweat. Body sliding down the chair, barely even faint frantic motions to his chest.

Brief, deafening silence.

The traitorous calm before a storm would hit and leave nothing but death and destruction in its wake.

Chaos.

Swords drawn.

A wave of threats of violence.

A thundering voice of the King of Starkerbürg himself.

Calls for the royal physician Banner.

Images of peace and joy shattered; a single inconspicuous calm face among the sea of others in the face of a tragedy in making.

“Poison. I cannot determine what kind as of yet. Carry His Royal Majesty to his chambers!” the physician called out, not bothered by the fact he was ordering around knights and other nobility. “At once! There is no time to spare!”

Knights practically tripping over each other to tend to their prince, to their future ruler, to their brother in arms even as by rank he stood high above them. Rustle and grunts; a whisper of skirts as the culprit slipped away in the midst of disarray and cries of fear for the prince and the future of both kingdoms alike.

To think that an attack at the crown happening during the presence of a party of another kingdom – one similarly strong – was but a coincidence, would have been foolishly naïve.

Oh there were no such coincidences; this was but the first step towards a war.

And the perpetrator would be treated with that in mind.

“Aconite, most likely,” sounded the verdict, the words solemn on the physician’s lips as he fearfully raised his gaze to the King hovering over his shoulder as he inspected the second most important patient of the kingdom at the royal chambers.

The dark note in Banner’s voice snapped Steven from the haze as he, Sir Barnes, Sir Barton and Sir Wilson stood along the walls of Anthony’s chambers, tall and menacing, but just as helpless as Prince Anthony’s betrothed seated in the corner.

Whatever poison the physician was talking about, it was not known to Steven; but the message written in Banner’s expression was clear as day and terrifying like a night to be spent in the woods with rumoured presence of ghouls.

Inevitable death.

It was true that King Howard Stark might have yet to comprehend, despite his long years of ruling his lands, that one might catch more flies with sugar than vinegar, gain more by threading his actions with kindness than by spitting threats of violence; but he was no fool. He perceived the solemnity of the announcement and received it with a shadow over his already distorted features.

“This… aconite, Banner. What kind of a poison is that?” he demanded, crossing his arms over his chest, but not bending. Not under the weight on the crown on his head, nor under the weight of the tidings he might be scared to receive. His face was but a mask of stern indifference; a silent warning to Banner to choose his next words carefully.

As if stating the patient’s condition was a choice, Steven thought darkly, his heart pounding painfully against his ribcage as he exchanged glances with his best friend standing by his side. When he looked back at the physician, he could see him swallow dryly even from the several feet distance. Yet, the brave man faced the King with his head held high and his expression filled with sorrow.

“A deadly kind, Your Royal Majesty,” Banner said slowly. Rage flashed on the King’s face, Steven’s stomach dropping at both the sight and the worst tidings brought. Death. “It is made from the nectar-filled blossoms or the tubers of the Aconitum lycoctonum flower. There is… no cure known to man.”

A sniffle sounded in the corner of the room, completely ignored except for Sir Barton’s compassionate glance towards the woman who was on the brink of despair at the mere thought of the man she had clearly already learned to love leaving this world forever.

The King beckoned to the guards standing by the door, making them instantly step forward with their spears ready, heading for Banner menacingly.

Steven’s feet twitched as he wanted to step forward to protect the physician, outrage rising at the injustice even as fear twisted his stomach.

Sir Barnes brushed his hand discreetly to stop him.

Steven gritted his teeth, but stayed put for now, watching the scene unfold with disdain.

Sir Barnes was correct in one thing: Anthony being poisoned and having his life hanging on a thread was horrible enough, and rash decisions and actions such as standing up to the King would only make it worse.

A raging man was an unwise man; and the King was only a man too, even as he compared himself to various deities and had nearly as much power as them – which only rendered him more dangerous. There was no point in scaring the physician to death or even hurting him, but such was the King’s power. Such was his God-given right to punish whoever as he pleased. It mattered little that Banner could barely be blamed for-

-for the crown prince’s impending death, apparently.

“Then I advise you, Banner, to find one fast,” King Howard sneered as the guards stood behind the physician now. “Otherwise, you shall meet the same fate as whoever of Asgard dared to try and rob me of my son.”

The guards grabbed the man’s shoulders and Steven’s hand instinctively went for his sword again; and he was not the only one. Still, the knights stood, hesitant to disobey their King even in the face of the glaring injustice, fighting an inner battle between honour and goodness of heart and the oath they had taken. Their loyalty was to the kingdom and the King represented it most of all, after all; even if he seemed to threaten it the most of all, too, at the moment.

Well, not on Steven’s watch.

“Wait!” he called out as he stepped forward, earning a hard glare from the King himself that should have told him to keep quiet and fall in line, but he could not. Not even for Bucky’s audible sigh behind him. Not when-

“Is there anything we can do for him as of now, is what we are trying to ask,” Sir Wilson spoke up before Steven could, moving to stand next to him.

Steven took a deep breath as his gaze flickered to his comrade, finding his face arranged in a carefully crafted humbleness – as it should be in the face of the ruler even when he was addressing the physician.

Banner’s words were kind, his voice firm and regretful.

“I am afraid there isn’t, good Sir.”

“The Royal Guard and all the knights have a clear mission given by the crown, Sir Wilson,” the King barked as he gestured for the physician to be dragged away, the poor man allowing it without a protest. King Howard’s gaze fell on his son’s pale face as he lied on the bed with nothing but soundless whimpers on his lips, before he snapped back to the four knights present. “Arrest all servants and nobility of Asgard. I shall have the King and his brother for myself. And should my son meet his forefathers, I shall have their heads on a spike by tomorrow.”

With those words, he turned on his heel and stepped out, his leave abruptly followed by Anthony’s wife-to-be rushing to her betrothed’s side, cheeks damp with tears.

Steven regarded the scene unfolding, frozen with horror and unease greater than anyone.

He feared the death of his friend, naturally, as they had just dragged the one single person with any chance of curing Anthony in the whole kingdom away from his bedside.

But Steven feared a lot more deaths too. Should Prince Anthony die, King Howard would unleash pure hell on Asgard and as a consequence, on all Starkerbürg as well.

All the knights knew that; everyone knew that. They all had a heavy feeling in their stomach at the mere thought, their feet slow and unwilling as they left the chambers one by one. Yet, Steven’s heart was heavier.

The thought had occurred to him when he had wondered what exactly the King was expecting from Banner.

To turn back time so the prince had never got poisoned?

To pray to the gods for a miracle?

To perform a miracle himself and cure what was considered uncurable?

The last idea had squeezed his heart in an icy fist, nausea clawing up his throat.

He knew someone who could achieve things as close to a miracle as possible in this realm. He had felt such miracle in his own blood, tissue and cells; he had felt the wonders strong magic was capable of when in the hands of the kind-hearted. He was still breathing solely because of it; and he knew the person who could achieve this closely, intimately even, mind, body and soul, the depth of the goodness of her heart.

Perhaps you would be able to replicate the feat of saving Steven from certain death.

Perhaps your magic was powerful enough to save thousands lives by saving one. Powerful enough to prevent a war.

But hope and miracles were not to be trifled with. Magic was not to be trifled with. Being seen practising magic meant a definite death sentence.

But would it? If it saved the future king’s life?

Surely, he couldn’t risk it; he couldn’t risk your life. Of all the things he had seen in his life, of all the things he had ever had the fortune to hold, you were the most precious one to him. If he brought you here, he could lose you. He could lose you, by his own hand no less, and that would be the highest price to pay for peace he did not even know would settle or not in the end.

No.

That was the one price he couldn’t pay. He’d much rather pay with his own life – but not yours. Gods, never yours.

But if you only could… knew a potion, could do anything at all…

As he marched with his comrades to arrest the innocent – for it could not be the work of all Asgardians at once – his jaw was tense, the dilemma occupying all his thoughts, feeling like it might tear him in half.

Until it hadn’t.

If he did nothing, the war was be inevitable. If he did nothing, he would lose you anyway.

A raging man was a dangerous man and King Stark would burn the world in the wake of his anger and grief, heedless of whoever would burn with it.

Steven stopped dead in his tracks, Sir Barnes nearly colliding with him as a result.

“Steve, what the-“

“I must go,” Steven said in a hushed voice, swiftly changing direction; or attempting to. Sir Barnes’ hand was quick to grab onto his elbow, stopping him, heedless of other knights continuing their path.

“Steve, what in heavens do you mean by that?”

“I must fetch someone. I believe she could help.”

Sir Barnes bewilderment would perhaps be almost comical had it not been for the dread pooling cold in Steven’s gut.

“…she? What—the woman you have been sneaking off to see?” Sir Barnes enquired, causing a startled and utterly confused expression to appear on Steven’s face, a small alarmed sound pushing past the man’s lips despite his effort to remain composed.

Hold on, hold on-- Bucky knew?!

The look Steven received back was unimpressed at best – of course Bucky knew. He knew Steven almost better than he knew himself.

“Save the surprise for another day. How could she possibly help? Is she a physician’s assistant? Or even an apprentice for some insane reason?”

Had Steve had the capacity, he’d glare at Bucky for the offensive tone with which he had asked the question; however, he did not have it and in the brief moment he spent pondering, he realized that Bucky was not opposed to the idea itself. It was simply the ways of Starkerbürg: to try and take a woman as a physician’s apprentice was insane indeed. King had the God-given right to appoint physicians – and King Howard would certainly never approve of a female one.

But that didn’t matter, because that was not who you were.

“She’s… she is a healer.”

“A healer?” Sir Barnes echoed pointedly, doubt colouring his words. “What does than even mean? We do not have time for this.”

Steven huffed, trying to tug his arm free from Sir Barnes’ grasp as his impatience grew along with the number of doubts whether it was ever a good idea to consider your aid; but there were no options. No time to search for them. No time to waste and no time for finesse. He needed to go and he needed Bucky to understand – and more than that.

“She saved my life, Bucky. Back when I fell from the crags into the river… when you thought I was dead-“

“You must have been lucky, fell into deep water. You had superficial injuries. This is a poison. One the best physician of the court claims to have no antidote for.”

Steven swallowed thickly, the heaviest of feelings in his stomach as he chose to reveal his greatest secret as to make a point and be released to act before it’d be too late. “Bucky, I had much more than superficial injuries. She… she helped then. She might be able to help now, but… I will need your help with protecting her should it come to it.”

Bucky looked at Steve as if he had just grown a second head, glancing around nervously as guards and knights alike kept passing them, casting strange looks at them for their stillness. Sir Barnes lowered his voice to a barely audible whisper.

“Are you saying you were wounded much worse and yet she was able to tend to you? In such short time that you were missing then? And that she might be able to help here, now, with a poison that has no known cure?” Sir Barnes demanded hastily, bewildered and clearly irritated. “Are you hearing yourself, Steven? What kind of a healer would she have to be to-“

The almost sardonic voice suddenly fell silent, all blood draining from Sir Barnes’ face when the horrifying realization finally dawned to him. His hand fell limp, finally releasing Steven’s arm.

“Steve, this is not a subject for joking.”

Steven swallowed heavily, heart thundering in his chest, blood pounding in his temples. He shouldn’t have told – but he had to. He had to, right? Bucky needed to understand-

He sighed quietly, whole body strung tight in expectation of his friend exploding in rage – rage he had no time for.

“I am not joking. And you are right, we are losing precious time, I should-”

The sudden grip on Steven’s his shoulder, appearing as to stop him from leaving, was much more brutal than the hold on his elbow had been, fingers digging into flesh even over the layers of clothing.

“You— have you been… lying with a--”

Steven’s voice was quiet, but as sharp and dangerous as the sword resting in the sheath on his hip. “Choose your words carefully, Bucky. That is the woman I love and owe my life to. I would die for her, and I would not have been standing here had she not healed me.”

“That could be exactly what she wants you to think!” Sir Barnes sputtered. Steven fought the urge to roll his eyes – the absurdity of such statement was glaring.

“Oh for heavens-- I might be a fool sometimes, but I am not an idiot-”

“Debatable!” Sir Barnes whispered as madly as if he was in fact yelling. “As you’re proving it this very moment!”

Steven shook his head, the feeling in his gut growing more gnawing by the second, every frantic beat of his heart feeling like a waste of precious time.

“Bucky, you said it yourself – we do not have time for this! I must go. I will get her, but… please. Help me protect her if the King is blind to the fact she uses--- it to do good.”

Sir Barnes simply stared back, the halls empty by now as much as his gaze, however inquiring.

The grip on Sir Rogers’ arm loosened.

Silence stretched. Precious second ticked by, grains of sand in hourglass no one could turn back falling; and with each and every one, Steve’s stomach tightened further with creeping horror.

Surely his most precious, most loyal friend, having been standing by his side since childhood, would not abandon him now? Surely he would not betray him in moments that might be deciding his fate, the fate of his beloved, of the whole kingdom?

“Bucky, please. I swear-- I’m begging you. I need to-- I need to protect her. At any cost.”

“What of your sword?” Sir Barnes asked dully, appearing indifferent to Steven’s desperate pleas.

What of your knighthood? Are you willing to give up that, if you are forced to leave in the darkness of the night and never return to bring your beloved to safety? Are you willing to leave the path of the honorary knight to become a lawless fugitive?

The smile which found its way to the corners of Steve’s lips was soft; sad and torn, for it was the greatest honour to serve, to protect, to help. He had been and always would be grateful for the rare chance he had got.

But there was no greater blessing of the gods themselves than you having entered his life and taking it by the most beautiful of storms. He loved you. He loved you more than anything and anyone in this world and that was what he would not even dream of giving up.

He didn’t respond with words; and yet, the exasperation on his closest friend’s face told him he did not have to. Sir Barnes understood from Steven’s expression alone. He always had.

“Gods, Steven Grant of Rogers, of all stunts you could have pulled to get yourself hanged, you truly had to go and chose the most foolish one. My God- Steven…”

Most foolish one? Echoed in Steven’s head, the words absurd. No. The most gorgeous one, the purest one, the most blessed, he allowed himself to muse. The most honourable one too, no? Love. Where was justice, if love, the purest emotions of all, was considered a crime? Did the new religious teachings not speak of love being kind, patient, knowing no dishonour and wrongs?

That was how he loved you. Wholly and entirely, kindly, patiently, even if passionately.

It was only then when Steven snapped from his haze and finally noticed a trace of hurt on Sir Barnes’ face when it occurred to him why Bucky had taken so long to respond. He was cross with Steven; but not as much for the alleged crime, but for having kept it a secret. Keeping you a secret; the one closest to his heart, his beloved, hidden from the one person he had always trusted with anything.

“I’m sorry, Bucky. No one could know. She’s-- she is too precious. I had to protect her,” he explained softly, urgently. “And I still do. I will, with your help or without it. But… please.”

Sir Barnes continued to regard him, stunned into silence still, expression unreadable.

Then, he shook his head; what might seem as disagreement however, Steve recognized as resignation. He had known Bucky for too long to not be able to decipher which shake of a head was a no and which was an expression of indignation and regret at his own choice of a best friend.

“Thank you, Bucky.”

And with those words, Steve took his hasty leave, his minute relief drowned in the sea of worry when he sneaked into the stables to rush through the gates of the castle, claiming to be running a King’s errand.

Seeking his closeness the pretty white doe having sipped at love all despite her oath, she begged the forest spirits to let her go to follow her heart and its eternal song.

Light breeze caressing your hair like the tender fingers of your lover, brushing away a lose strand from your face. Gentle September sunrays of a late afternoon warming your cheeks, long leaves of grass tickling your ankles and your hands as you gathered brownwort, thyme and lady’s mantle, the smell almost too much despite its pleasant notes. Your hand instinctively laying over your belly as the reminder of why you were gathering these particular herbs blossomed in your mind anew, a smile settling on your face. It was not just the time of year blessing people with abundance of these flowers, a nature’s reminder the time was coming to bath in the blessed lake on the Autumn equinox; it was the sweet secret humming under your heart too, growing stronger and more beautiful by day – and slightly bittersweet for for now, it was only yours to keep, your beloved knight none the wiser.

Steven.

The very reason, you suspected, for the heavy feeling in your heart; the reason why none of the kind offerings of mother nature seemed to sooth a jittery feeling you had woken with up from your restless sleep. Unease had been crawling over your skin; a solemnity’s shadows, despite the beautiful weather and the joyful morning realisation that a barely noticeable bump was now showing on your body, a testament to the blessings of love.

The sky was beginning to colour with sunset with no clouds in sight; and yet, you could feel a storm coming, one you did not feel would be of the refreshing purifying kind. The air did not smell of rain; if you breathed in deeply, it reeked of the very death the wind seemed to whisper about in the tallest of birch trees. A warning; a witch’s intuition tuned to the finest hints of the gods of nature and forest spirits. You had tried to sooth yourself, coaxing yourself into peace by wondering if it perhaps was but a new future mother’s anxiety.

Yet, an instinct as old as time whispered to you to know better.

Which was why the wild stomping of hooves nearing your cabin should have not taken you by surprise. But it did.

You rose from your crouch so fast your head span, gathered flowers falling from your hands at the brief faint sensation; you steadied yourself just as Steven’s horse came into view, slowing into a walk as not to startle you or crush all the blossoms on the meadow.

The silent thank you to the gods for seeing your love alive and well left your lips without prompting, followed by your spine tingling with a shudder of power at its base.

Almost as if the gods blessed you for your genuine gratitude and gifted you with strength. Strength you shall no doubt need, for Steven might be living and breathing, dismounting his mare in a thousand-times practised manner, breathtaking as ever, but the distress on his face and the tension of his wide shoulders told you those shoulders carried the weight of the world at the moment.

Feet waking with motion, you met him halfway as he rushed to you, his arms quick to embrace you lovingly but so tight all air left your ribcage for long moments. Steven’s heart thundered against your ear as you hid your face against his chest. Fresh air had washed his clothes of most smells, but sweat and wine and rich spices still enveloped your senses, a tell-tale signs of the feast which he had told you about being interrupted by something vicious.

Yet, you took precious moments of simply breathing your lover in, basking in the comfort his arms offered no matter the circumstance.

He nuzzled his face in your hair, his chest expanding with a generous inhale, a steadying breath which made his heart race faster, as if attempting to outrun the very storm you had felt arriving.

You ran your hands down his broad back, feeling your own heart leaping into your throat as the silence between you, often so sweet and comforting, stretched ominously.

“Steven… love,” you whispered, attempting to shift in his embrace, only achieving his hold growing firmer, his muscles almost shaking with effort not to let go.

Oh Steven… What a terrible feat had been laid upon him?

“What has happened?”

Finally releasing your body, his hands were quick to cradle your face instead, achingly gentle, even as his eyes roamed your face wordlessly, brimming with so much emotion it stirred your unease further.

“Rytier moj?”

Steven’s face softened minutely, thumbs stroking your cheekbones as tenderly as butterfly wings despite the power – or the lack of it – in his grip.

“My love…”

Lips curling in a tiny smile, you mirrored Steven’s affection, reaching to settle your palm against his cheek, fingers of your other hand carding through his hair; your heart fluttered when he leaned into your touch, a wavering breath escaping his lips before they pressed against your palm to sooth the scratch of his beard against your skin.

Despite the dulcet image he made, eyes fluttering close for a blissful moment of nothing but love shared, you felt his body pulse with anxious urgency seemingly seeping into yours through your fingertips.

“I did not sleep well…” you confessed, his already pursed lips turning down. “I had a heavy feeling in me. Now I know the gods had not warned me simply for their own whims. What’s happened?”

Steven opened his eyes again; with a single caress of the breeze, he straightened, his aura of a knight – a fierce protector, a loyal friend, a humble determined servant – returning with its full force as did his worry.

“I need your help.”

A simple plea.

A simple answer.

“Always, rytier moj. Anything,” you promised.

One would expect relief to fill your lover’s features; instead, dread twisted them into a frown of dismay. Almost as if he had been hoping for your rejection.

Why?

The whisper of death among the trees grew louder, haunting, sending such a shudder through your body not even your lover’s warmth could hope to protect you from it, another urgent question scratching at the back of your mind.

Death, the trees seemed to whisper.

Whose death?

“Oh bosorka moja…”

Not Steven’s. Never. Not on your watch. Not as long as you walked this realm.

And not your child’s. You’d claw a throat open with your bare hands had anyone tried to take them away. Take her away. You had dreamed two nights prior, dreamed of a girl with Steven’s beautiful eyes and your hair caressed by the wind, her laughter filling the air as he sat her on his shoulders and she placed the daisy crown on his head-

The image had been so full of hope, so bright, so full of promise; it battled the current scent of death fiercely, one blending into another, and it felt like you were stood in the middle.

Your choice. Your power.

Your victory; or your loss.

You gulped, your gentle hold on Steven’s face growing shaky; with fear or the weight of responsibility, you weren’t sure.

“What is it, love? You are worrying me… come in. Tell me what weights down your-“

“Prince Anthony has been poisoned,” he said at last.

The whisper of the wind seemed to turn into a screech of a gale, even as the tree leaves and grass barely rustled.

The Prince… was he the one whose death you felt impending? It must have been.

In a split second, it became so clear why Steven was so shaken.

An impending death of his brother in arms. Of someone whom he served and appreciated.

Of the future ruler; quite possibly caused by the attempts of the party of Asgard.

An act of war.

Should Prince Anthony die, there would be no stopping at one death. Devastating number of lives could be lost. Including Steven’s.

No. Not on your watch. Not as long as you walked this realm.

But could you stop it?

Stood in the middle. Your choice. Your power.

Could you prevent a war?

Your mind was set into a whirl, various herbs and remedies for different poisonings refreshed in your mind.

“Do you know which poison it was?” you asked urgently, dropping your hands; and confused as why Steven’s remained firmly on your face, his expression speaking of pain greater than before. “Steven, love. What are his troubles? I can send a potion, pass it as a remedy from a physician-”

“Burning feeling in his forehead, weakness of muscles, trembling, cold sweat… he fainted and could not be woken up, only for a brief moment. He had trouble speaking, began to shake, fainted again...” Steven listed slowly, his unease growing with every word.

And so did yours.

Determination bled out from your body drop by drop, replaced by dread, the very weakness your lover was talking about as if settling in your own muscles and bones.

“The physician believes it might have been... aconite?” he added.

You had figured as much, seemingly endless moments before Steven spoke the dreaded word.

Aconite.

The worst nightmare of all living things; the deadliest daydream of those who meant harm and would not stop until their enemy released their last breath.

Death, screeched the breeze in the crowns of the birch trees; the yew trees, the very symbol of passing, joining in.

Death. War. Death.

Your power. Your victory. Your loss.

Your voice shook more frantically than young aspen leaves in the wind.

“Steven… aconite is deadly. I have no potion or salve for this. There is no cure-”

“That is what physician Banner said.”

“But then what…”

Your voice trailed off, words stuck in your throat, air stolen from your chest. A lighting from clear skies could struck you at the very moment and you would barely take notice of such.

It all made sense now. You having lost sleep. The whispers of death. The assumed shiver of power you shall no doubt need. And at last, Steven’s almost palpable dismay when you had said you’d help. That you’d do anything.

He had hoped you’d help.

He was terrified of it all the same.

You could feel blood draining from your face, rushing past your ears; unspeakable horror and determination swept you like the non-existent gale in the tree crowns.

“Steven…”

His grip on your face grew firmer, unsteady but urgent, his forehead pressed against yours as his eyes slid shut, his whisper a frantic promise, a confession and a prayer at once.

“I know. Believe me, my love, I know, and I have never been more scared of anything in my whole life,” he said huskily, barely audible over the wild thundering of your heart, the shaky sound of your quick breaths, even as the rest of the world faded into background, all noise ceasing. Or perhaps even the sparrows forgot how to sing, struck by fear for their life.“I would have not asked this of you if I did not fear that Anthony’s death would unleash a war with Asgard and might destroy us all… and if I did not believe I could protect you.”

“Steven-“

A thumb over your lip, gently pressing to silence your protest, Steven guided you to look up to his eyes, every word falling from his lips an oath signed by his own blood.

“Bosorka moja… I shall protect you, no matter the cost. You must know I would lay my life for you. I will, should it come to it. As long as you are safe.”

Consumed by adoration and terror at once, you slipped from Steven’s hold, shaking your head.

He had not the slightest idea what he was speaking of, the reckless fool.

He had no idea.

And he had no idea whom he would be leaving should he deliver on his terrible promise.

“These words are not nearly as comforting as you believe them to be! How would we-- how would I live without you?” you lamented, feeling the fire of power and indignation burn inside of you, chasing the fear away for several beats of your heart. “And I-- I am not even sure I can heal him.”

“You healed me,” Steven offered kindly, encouraging, confusion and the softest trace of hurt at you having escaped his touch twisting his face. He had no idea. He had no idea at all. “You said I was at the brink of death myself-“

“You were,” you spat, not appreciating the reminder – not of his injuries, nor of your past recklessness, as grateful as you were for the latter, not a single regret in your mind for having risked it all to save the handsome stranger with goodness etched into his very soul, having shone so bright it had outshined your doubts and fear for your life. But this was different. So much circumstance had changed. “But I was… I had faith in your soul, saw your good heart. I believed to be safe from you should I be too weak to protect myself after I casted my spells, and for that, I was able to pour all my magic into the healing. And I-- I was much more careless with my power then… “

You made a pause, inhaling slowly, gathering courage in the face of Steven’s features twisting further with distress.

“But Steven… that was before. I-- before we-“

“What is it, bosorka moja? Before what?”

Your lower lip trembled, regret lacing the soft touch of your fingertips to his face.

This was not how you wished for him to find out. You had told him before, erased his memory to ease his conscience and to prepare for the right moment, a moment fit for such joyful tidings; but much like him, having rushed here asking for help despite the unspeakable risks, you had no other option.

You had no choice.

You had no time.

The deep-sea blue with a forest green shade of his irises brimmed with emotion, tenderness and silent question.

With a lump in your throat, you dropped your hands again, curling them around your middle as if to protect the secret and save it for a reverent moment your love and lover – and your child – would have deserved.

Steven regarded your stance with dread visibly climbing up his throat. You could see it in his eyes, the sudden uncertainty, the questions written in his eyes growing frantic and painful.

Why had you stepped back from him? Why had you evaded his touch? Why did you seem taken by sorrow? What secret had you been keeping from him? For you must have had some. You must have not told him something crucial – and in a dark time like this, it shall come to light.

You appeared so shaken; you appeared scared. Of something he had failed to protect you from?

Or of his reaction to the revelation?

You chose your words carefully, speaking them slowly, even though you could feel him hanging onto every syllable.

“It is not only me anymore who needs to be protected.”

Steven did not understand; that much was clear from his expression, from the step he took closer to you only for you to take a step back, etching his hurt deeper into his face.

“I… I do not understand, my love. Do you have—do you know of someone who could help you? Do they need protection too?”

The they tasted of poison much bitterer than aconite; disbelief and profound pain.

You could almost hear it, the absurd questions he seemed to be asking himself. Was there… was there someone else? Someone else who had earned your love more fiercely than he had? More deserving?

The way your love remained hidden, the distance he still had to keep, laid heavy in his mind, always, now feeding his doubt; his fear that someone else now occupied the space he had so selfishly taken up in your heart.

But had only been here mere days ago, yes? Surely you could have not--- you would have not… or had you? No. That wasn’t possible. You were the kindest most loving person he had ever met, loyal to a fault – and he was blessed to be yours, to be loved, unconditionally, more than he deserved for keeping you his little secret.

You could not read thoughts; but Steven’s always seemed to be laid bare in front of you to card through. Betrayal and resignation all at once, jaw tight to mask his hurt, to hide the very doubt you read so clearly. Doubt, but not of you; of him. He had always carried it with him, the guilt of not providing for you as he imagined he should for his beloved.

Doubt, crystal clear in his gaze. It was possible, was it not? The most wonderful woman he had ever met, finally fed up, the goblet of your patience finally having overflowed, deciding to find a man worthy of you, able to take care of you, truly, one you were willing to-

You could not bear his mind screaming anymore, even as you had not heard a single word, a single thought, all of it but achy questions expressed by his gaze alone.

“No, Steven, I do not--- I merely cannot only think of myself now,” you said softly, searching for words to reveal the secret at last, not, not wanting to and craving it all the same. “I… I need to protect us.”

His shoulders sagged, doubt and heartache erased at once, tenderness at your worry for him melting into his smile.

“Do not fret, bosorka moja. I can hold my own.”

The faint smile in the corner of your mouth hurt, tears burning in your eyes.

“I know, rytier moj… and yes, I meant us, but I--- I also meant us.”

The arm you had curled around your middle shifted. Your palm spread pointedly over your belly as you met his gaze with hesitance and silent hope; for as much as you dreaded revealing the source of your worst fear, the tidings were still joyful. And you hoped with the entirety of your heart that Steven would accept them as such, much like the first time.

But first, he had to comprehend them.

Several rushed beats of your heart it took him; but then he finally did.

Suddenly, it was his turn to stand still and rigid as if a lightning from the perfectly clear skies struck him. And it might have as well.

His voice was barely louder than a breath, hoarse, laced with careful hope despite the glaring truth.

“You—we- are we-?”

A crystal-clear memory of those being the very words he had spoken the first time entered your mind, a single tear spilling over; the awe and reverence on his face mirrored his expression all the same as you confirmed.

“Yes.”

“You are with a child? My child?”

It would have been amusing, the questions, if you hadn’t been on a brink of hysteria and hadn’t there been a metaphorical sword hanging above your heads while you indulged in revealing the sweetest secret there was between lovers.

“Yes.”

Countless grains of sand in hourglass fell, Steven simply observing you, his gaze feasting on the entirety of you with newfound emotion that touched your very soul and made it shiver with delight. He observed you with such adoration and devotion you could only imagine he would show to a deity descending to walk the Earth.

And then he was surging forward, falling on his knees in front you, one hand on your hip, the other wrapping around your lower back to keep you close as he laid his forehead on your belly, shaky, slow and careful; nothing short of reverent. Despite the circumstance, all the tears prickling in your eyes found their release – every inch of your body sang, feeling Steven’s love for both you and the life he had a generous hand in creating.

“Oh bosorka moja… láska moja,” he muttered into the fabric before he looked up, hesitant fingers slipping under, to feel the very bump you had only noticed today. His lips parted in mute awe, eyes turning glassy with sheer delight and wonder at the miracle.

You allowed yourself another moment of basking in his love; feeling the delight spreading through every vein, through every bone and nerve, all the way to your very core and source of power. Your hands found gentle purchase of Steven’s hair as his lips pressed to your belly.

But then, the inaudible crackle in the air brought you both from your reverie, the breeze screeching of death instead of new life returning.

There was no choice; dread filled your being along with a haunting whisper of opportunity from a voice speaking in tongues you barely understood and yet deciphered as guidance.

You must go. You must try. Despite the risks.

Stood in the middle. Your power. Your victory; your loss.

Your only hope and your possible doom.

“I shall try my best to help, even as I do not know if I will be able to. But Steven…” you addressed him softly, revealing one more piece, one more source of joy, “our little girl must remain safe at any cost.”

The hands sprawled around your middle twitched, a single tear escaping him as his eyes shone.

“Our--- a girl? How-“

“It is but a feeling,” you admitted, earning a brilliant smile which lasted too shortly.

You smiled tightly in return, a few more tears rolling down your cheeks as Steven’s hand softly caressed your barely-there bump again, butterflies seemingly to erupting in your stomach, your heart humming.

He rose to his feet with something in his eyes turning steely, his gentle voice once against taking on a heaviness of an oath.

“I will protect you both, even if it should be the last thing I will ever do.”

One wavering breath was all the luxury you granted yourself before springing into action, not allowing yourself to lament at the potential of death weaved into Steven’s promise. You could not afford any more distraction. The hourglass was unrelenting, rushing you.

“I know. We shall get going.”

You could feel his eyes on you, a mute confusion as you ruminated through the cabinets, the fire lit, a small pot placed on it, two handfuls of water, milk thistle, ginseng roots, and sprinkle of uncaria leaves added to the mix.

“You can sit down, love, I shall only complete the potion swiftly and we will be on our way,” you assured him, reaching for a pinch of turmeric to add.

Steven did not, in fact, sit down – if anything, you could feel him grow taller behind you, as if his growing bewilderment added an inch or two to his already impressive height. His stare was firmly set on you, a little burning and slightly insulting since you could almost hear his silent questioning of your sanity.

A potion? But you had said-

You looked over your shoulder briefly, your lover’s body nearer than expected, causing you to need to crane you neck a bit.

“No, there is no potion to neutralise the poison – but this remedy strengthens a body, aids it to fight off an infection and weakness,” you explained, expecting Steven’s face clearing, but not waiting for it do so, busying yourself with reading the mental list of ingredients, recalling every indispensable element. Milk thistle, ginseng, uncaria leaves, turmeric… ah. Yes. Where herbs were concerned, rare or common, that would be all. Only one last ingredient.

A gentle hand on your elbow stopped you as you were turning to the stack of knives, halting your movements tenderly but firmly. Blinking, you lifted your gaze to Steven’s face again, disconcerted by his unreadable expression.

“Is it… safe?”

Had it not been for the large distress he was in, the feeling oozing of him and adding to your own shakiness, had it not been for the tenderness of his touch, you’d feign a slap to chase his hand away at the almost silly question – and at the sudden doubt in your knowledge and power and your reign over it.

“Steven, love, my apologies for the bluntness, but Prince Anthony is on his deathbed, so I cannot very well hurt him further and I shall have you known that this very potion you have drunk yourself-”

“For you,” he clarified, two soft syllables in contrast to your slightly exasperated words, your voice falling silent as sweet worry reflected in his sky-blue irises. Despite the circumstance, your heart seared at the fussing, no matter how groundless and ironic. “I am asking whether it is safe for you and our… our child to prepare that. I know it may seem irrational given why I am here, but-“

It was, you had to admit. And yet. You spent a precious moment, precious grains of sand falling in the ominous hourglass above your heads, placing your palm over his hand, reassuring.

“It is perfectly safe, rytier moj… certainly no more dangerous than rushing to the castle, the very heart of the Kingdom, and attempt to save the prince using the most outlawed practice in these lands,” you added with an unsteady cheekiness, earning an exasperated glare; and a full body shudder he couldn’t hope to contain.

The same tremble ran through your body; and yet, the whisper for caution was overshadowed by a tingle of energy unknown, a wordless encouragement. Almost a haunting promise from the Fate itself that bravery shall be rewarded.

But if that were true, where would the ever-present whispers of death and upcoming end fit in the mosaic then?

Shaking your head as well as the overwhelmingly bewildering sensations off, you charmed a soft smile for your lover and love – for the father of your child, already caring so deeply for the life to be born out of your love – and let your hand fall, turning back to your work as stream began to fill the cabin.

One last ingredient; a life essence to help maintain life.

You cradled the handle of the blade carefully in your hand, turning your other palm against the tip; the knife was out of your hand before you could comprehend how, pressed flat to Steven’s thigh, shielded from your touch.

“I’m sorry. I--- is that necessary?” Steven asked with a painful edge to his voice, his continued concern causing your heart to tremble.

“Yes… it is but a drop of blood, my love, I promise. A speckle of life essence to maintain life.”

His frown deepened as you reached for the knife again, fingers brushing his soothingly as you grasped at the handle. So many emotions played over his features; hesitance, concern, guilt. He must have realised you had used your blood before to cure him before you had even learned his name, another sacrifice having been made aside from having left yourself completely vulnerable to him when you had drained your magic and body alike to bring him from the death’s doorstep where you had found him at.

Then, an almost shy question, as if he felt too bold to even suggest such heretic thought.

“Life essence… would mine suffice, then?”

Where his implication was shy – that his mere mortal, human blood could match yours, the blood of a born witch – his determination was not.

He met your eye, a brilliant satisfied sparkle lighting up his irises when he read the truth in your hesitant gaze.

“Yes… it would. But-“

Your knight offered his left palm outstretched, no further questions. The bottomless trust in his gesture and in his eyes caused a lump to grow in your throat; the mere idea of cutting him, even if it was to only be but a scratch, had ache sting deep within your ribcage.

“Are you cert-“

“Would you rather I lead the cut myself, love?” he asked, his voice tender upon your hesitance, understanding the action would cause you pain – as if you were to hurt yourself instead.

And you might as well.

Your hands were made to heal his wounds, not cause them; your hands were made to erase his aches, not bring them; your hands were made to love, not hurt.

Your read in his gentle gaze as he nearly read in yours: I despise the thought of hurting you, rytier moj; It is but alright, bosorka moja.

You shook your head.

“I-- no. I may do it. I apologize, we do not have time for-“

A hand grasping your jaw, soft lips silencing your apologies; your eyes fluttered close despite seeing right through the trick. You felt the pressure of his hand against the blade, the silent sound of protest earning you a deeper kiss, a softer caress of his lips against yours, tasting sweeter than summer breeze, so achingly tender.

“There you go, bosorka moja…”

With his retreat, Steven ran his thumb over your cheek, smiling; then, he moved his injured hand into yours, leading you above the pot.

Slightly dazed and exasperated still, you sighed and carefully squeezed his wound to indeed only spare a drop of his precious blood.

As you pressed your lips to his fingertips in a thank you, you let your healing power flow through your touch, closing the cut your body should have worn.

“This had better be the only blood spilled today,” you whispered; and prayed too. You met your Steven’s stormy gaze as the contents of the pot sizzled, sweet coppery aroma rising in the air.

“It will, bosorka moja. It will.”

He sealed the deal with a kiss, sweet and desperate and bruising.

And falling on deaf ears, whisper in the crowns of the birch trees, his and your words echoed the very same song.

Blood had better be spilled…

Today, today, today…It will, it will, it will…

Next part

Other headcanon and playlist

S.R. masterlist - contains other knight!Steve fics, independent of this universe

Complete masterlist

Endearments used: Rytier moj (My knight) Bosorka moja (Witch mine) Láska moja (Love mine)

I hope you liked this - let me know your thoughts!

May your November be sweet and cosy ✨

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers imagine #knight steve rogers #captain america x reader #captain america x you #captain america imagine #medieval AU #fantasy au #fairy tale au #steve rogers #knight steve #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fanfic #witch reader #ochranuj me #protect me #anika ann

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oneslimybastard · 9 months ago

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The Voloverse

Posting this mainly so I can link back to it as a footnote whenever I post mr. Man anywhere. Basically in my headcanons and aus Cynthia is an eggy egg who posts a lot of dysphoric cringe in the form of hurting people: she's so disconnected from herself and her body and her life that she can't quite comprehend why people care about anything at all, which leaves her just bulldozing over a lot of feelings because it doesn't seem like a big deal to her.

She lovebombs people then freaks out about it and goes completely ghost, youtube pranks Steven Stone by leaning into the gossip and telling the presses she's pregnant with his spawn despite him telling her It's Not Funny Fucking Stop, etc. etc. That sorta thing.

Eventually she cracks the code, he/hims into a MAN, and remains a bit weird and mentally ill but goes from being very shielded behind masks and facades into being turbo-earnest and sincere.

When PLA dropped with a canon Manthia in the form of Volo I went "Dang this kinda awkward" and made it even more awkward by leaning into it. Cynthia figures out she needs to detit become man due to a portrait of Volo she comes across while doing some ancestry research, lowkey steals his entire identity, and picks the name Cievolo for himself :) (Cielo + Volo)

So whenever I mention Cievolo it's a transsexualized genderbendered Cynthia because I have plots schemes and agendas.

Then in what I like to call the EXPANDED VOLOVERSE within fantasy aus (DND, MH, Miitopia, u get it) things get even MORE awkward because then Volo and Cievolo grew up together. Volo is his uncle, younger brother of Cogita, who is Cievolo's maman. They were pretty tight-knit and Volo was practically the only person who supported Eggthia's dreams of bailing out from the small town they were stuck in and pursue grander ventures. Then he died :( so sad :( that he totally definitely absolutely died due to highway robbery and didn't just orchestrate an attack on his jolly merchant band so he could fake his own death and go underground to start hunting for forbidden arcane secrets to destroy the world with so it'd be as empty as he is inside :(

So in those timelines Cievolo picked his name as an active tribute to his DEFINITELY DEAD uncle, the one who always believed in him... and regrets everything whenever Volo inevitably turns out to be alive because oh god. That's so cringe and embarrassing and confusing. What the fcuck. At least in DND-verse he can lie through his teeth and just say he reaaaally enjoys Volothamp's memoirs about monsters. Yup yup. Volo's Guide To Monsters just his favorite book, really.

Cievolo and Steven are also besties. Strained besties with a vast history of C causing Steve a lot of stress. Like a lot. But besties none the less.

Also wow u scrolled all the way down here. commendable. have some post-op boobies.

#snail's snaily art #fanart #pokémon #pokemon #genderbend #trans #transmasc #voloverse #pokemon volo #steven stone #champion cynthia #cievolo

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theflashesoflove · 1 year ago

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break it to me

Jan Stevens x f!reader (nsfw)

summary: Jan Stevens and one of her female residents kept dancing around each other for too long. At one particular afternoon the resident couldn’t take it anymore and recorded a voice message to put Jan Stevens in her place.

a/n: watching this film was (not) a mistake. i can’t stop thinking about her. so here’s a quick and rather simple (?) one-shot since i’m pretty spent after writing the previous piece and needed to relax my brain (yes i’m weak and fragile like that when it comes to writing even if i enjoy it). but i had to release this off my head, ahhh!!!

warnings/tags: mentions of smoking, sub!jan and dom!reader dynamics, dirty talk, (dicta)phone sex

word count: 2.5k

One of the things that accompanied your residence at the Sonic Catering Institute was interviews with Stones, Jan Stevens’ documenter. It all consisted of rather simple questions about your background, about the relationship within the band and about your stay at the institution.

You never really felt that someone would want to listen about your life, so usually you kept silent, not being shy, just keeping your thoughts to yourself. And there were quite a lot of them. So these interviews were a breath of fresh air, having the ability to prattle on about stuff because someone asked about it. A good conversation always made you so talkative it was almost impossible for you to stop. In a nice company, you felt comfortable to talk more, and Stones seemed like a decent man, though a bit manipulative with his questions on rather sensitive topics regarding your band.

He asked you about the quarrel among your bandmates that you didn’t participate in, about what you would like to do after the program was over, about your relationship with your family and about your personal interests, apart from sonic catering. You answered the questions with a certain lightness in your chest, happy to be listened to for once.

“And for my last question,” Stones started, his attention entirely on the notebook in his hands. “How do you feel- uh,” it seemed as though he was searching for words in his notes, “about the hostess of the institute? Do you like her?”

Oh, that. You and Jan Stevens had a certain dynamic since the first day you arrived. She seemed drawn to you, and you never really protested. She was friendly and helpful, generous and all that stuff. But sometimes she was also playful and tactile, and certainly chattier with you more than with the other members of the band. And did you like her? That would be an understatement. She ignited a fire within you that could never be put out. It was obvious that she felt pretty much the same.

“Who’s asking?” you smirked and took a drag on your cigarette.

“W- well, I am asking. So, do you like her?” Stones replied, suddenly very nervous.

Why would that information be necessary anyway? It was obvious that you liked her. But maybe not to Jan Stevens herself? Even after you kissed?

Yeah, that happened, too. What a strange encounter it was. Jan Stevens caught you in the backrooms and initiated a conversation that didn’t last very long. At some point, she gave you one last praise about your performance and, as if pulled by an invisible force, leaned down and kissed you. You were startled with such straightforwardness, but you liked it. It was a quick, softest kiss, you didn’t even have the time to wrap your arms around her. She pulled away, a somewhat terrified look on her face. For some reason she felt the urge to apologise and after muttering a soft 'I’m so sorry', she disappeared.

Ever since that day she tried distancing herself from you, it was very obvious that she fought a battle in her head every time she looked at you during late night dinners and midday meetings with your band. Nothing could hide her yearning hungry gaze and how she squirmed in her seat every time you entered the room. You never asked her about that kiss, you never told her how much you wanted her. And sometimes it felt even enraging, how she decided for both of you to end something that didn’t even begin. She could come and get it, after all. If only she had the guts to do it.

“Jan Stevens reads your notes, doesn’t she?” Of course, she did. That was the whole point of the interviews. Stones nodded. “I don’t think my bandmates received that question, huh?”

Stones’ expression gave out that no, none of them did. Your lips curled into a grin, and you looked at the dictaphone on the coffee table.

“Are you recording all of this? On this thing?” you asked. Stones nodded once again and you grounded the cigarette out in the ashtray. “I am very grateful for the hostess’ support. And yes, I like her. I like her very, very much. Can I ask you for a favour?”

“Yes, why?”

“Can you leave me to it? There are some things I want to say to Jan Stevens in private.” At first Stones wanted to protest but in the end he didn’t really care.

“Alright, I need to go to the bathroom anyway.” And he left.

You looked at the clock on the wall: 3:20 p.m. Oh, this is going to be a long message. Jan Stevens had no idea what she got herself into.

“So instead of talking to me directly you send Stones off to me to talk about us? I have to admit, I am a bit angry. You really got under my skin, huh,” you started, grabbing the dictaphone from the table.

“I… I meant it. I like you. And I know that you like me. Why did you run away that night? I see how you look at me. I see it all. And I could give you everything, if only you had asked. You could have just invited me to your house and I would rush to slip out of my bed and come see you. And you could personally ask me if I like you.

“I have something in mind, though. Please, if you don’t want to listen to all of this, you can turn it off. But maybe you need this. Maybe I need this. I just- I want you to know that I not just like you, I want you. And I never told you otherwise, so I don’t understand- okay. We can talk about it later. I hope we will. Now, If you allow me by listening further, I could indulge you in something.”

Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath and thought about it for a second. You had to just start. It would come to you naturally.

Then, you started your monologue. Slowly, in airy voice, building up necessary tension and separating your words with languid pauses.

﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉

“Please, make yourself comfortable. I am not used to performing with my voice, but I think I know a thing or two. And are you in your office right now? I hope not. If you are, I want you to press pause and go to your bed. If you are already in bed, just lay down and rest the dictaphone on your pillow. Good.

“Now, be a good girl and undress yourself, don’t worry, I’ll wait for you, but don’t make me wait for too long. I want you completely bare for this… Did you start undressing yourself? You better hurry up. I’m growing impatient, dear. And I don’t want to sit here for too long and make Stones nervous, after all. Yes, slide these knickers down your legs. I wonder what colour they are. Oh, how I wish to be there right now and take them off myself. You have absolutely no idea. Keep undressing if you didn’t finish already. I’ll give you a few more seconds…

“Very well. Lie back down on your pillows. Hmm… Close your eyes. Bring your fingers to your mouth, two is enough. Good, good. Make them nice and wet, push them as deep as they can go. I want you to push in and out, in… and out. Yes. A few more times just for me? Aren’t you a sweet thing, Jan Stevens? I wonder what you taste like. I wonder how it would feel to have your lips wrapped around my fingers. Now, you can take them out. Make sure they are really wet, don’t cheat. Alright, slide them down your body, slowly! Yes, yes, right between your breasts. When you reach your belly button, stop.

“I want you to touch your breasts. Don’t rush, just nice and gentle, just like that. Just like I would do. Play with your nipples, hmm, yes, you can rub them, you can wet your fingers once again and circle. You can pinch yourself, if you’d like. Yes, yes, I knew you would like that.

“I can just imagine you laying there, are your legs spread? Yes, make sure you make yourself open for me, and no, don’t stop touching your breasts. Be patient. Oh, what a mistake you had made. You thought you could fool me with this stupid interview, but now I am the one in charge. And you will do as I say. Right, where was I? You can slide your hands down your sides, but don’t you dare touch that pussy. Just across your stomach, yes, yes, and you can stroke your thighs as well. It’s a Thursday afternoon, by the way. Half past three, I think? But you already know when that was recorded. I hope you’ll listen to it tonight. Don’t make me wait. You are the one who should be waiting like a good girl, spread on your bed just for me. And I will be sitting here and guiding you through it. You are so hot, dear. Feel how warm and soft your skin is under your fingers. Don’t stop until I tell you so. Oh, Jan. Can I call you Jan? I think formalities are long forgotten anyway. Jan, Jan, Jan. I like how that sounds. I would like to call you my mistress, but I feel like a good girl title suits you better. For now, at least. Now, say my name. Mhm.. you know I can’t hear it, but I can vividly imagine how it sounds on your lips right now. Louder… I. said. Louder.

“Imagine me sitting right between your legs and ask me nicely. Say ‘please’. I like how polite you are. Yes, yes, what is it? What do you need? Are you still following me? Oh, I can’t do anything with you if you don’t tell me what it is that you want. Do you want me to kiss you? Do you want me to fuck you? I am afraid you have to deal with it on your own. No, I didn’t tell you to touch yourself yet. Are you getting wet? I hope so, or I must be terrible at this, huh. Now, roll to your side. Left or right, I don’t care. But since you are right handed I would suggest rolling to your left. Are you settled? Good. Good girl, so good at following my orders. Grab your ass with your hand. Just like that. Mhm, I can imagine how soft that is. Squeeze it for me, Jan. I want your nails to leave prints…

“Now, I need you to slap it. Yes, you heard me. Just a light slap, oh, yes, feel how it wiggles? That’s what I like. That’s what I would want to see if I was there. Such a pity. Slap again. You deserve it. Harder. Yes, harder. Even harder. I do hope you behave and follow my orders. Yes, bury that pretty face in your pillow. One more time. One more. And one last time for me. Hmm… good. Stroke your skin, I’m sure it hurts. Softly and slowly, yeah. You can turn on your back.

“Don’t forget to spread your legs again. Are you panting already? I barely did anything. Well, I did nothing, it was all your doing. Open your pussy with two fingers for me. Careful, don’t touch your clit yet. You can move your fingers up and down your lips, yes, nice and slow-“

Tum, tum, tum.

“What is it?” you turned your attention to the door.

“Are you finishing there?” Stones asked.

“No, she’s nowhere near finishing. Now leave me alone,” you snapped and continued speaking into the dictaphone. “Oh dear, sorry. We wouldn’t be interrupted if you just invited me to your house. Now, what are you doing there? I hope you keep following my orders. Move your fingers lower. Mhm, feel how slick you are. Perfect. Make your fingers wet and touch your clit. Don’t rush. Never rush until I tell you to go faster. Circle it for me, right, just touch yourself like you always do. Like you do when you lay in your bed and imagine my head between your thighs. Do you do this every night? Every night since we’ve met? I wouldn’t be surprised if you did. Are you squirming already? Go slowly, my love, and don’t apply much pressure. Lightly, yes, such a good girl. My mouth is tired of speaking already, you know, I usually don’t talk much. But when it comes to you, the only way to shut me up… yeah, you guessed it. Fuck, I’m so wet for you right now. The picture of you in my head drives me insane…

“Stop touching yourself. I hope I don’t have to repeat myself. Don’t be upset, dear. Just push your fingers inside, it’s all I want. Very well. I’m sure it slipped in easily. Patience, patience, and push gently. Deeper. That’s what I would do to you. Do you like it? Is there something else that you need, Jan Stevens? So insatiable. I adore you for it. Keep fucking yourself and listen to me…

“Imagine me fucking you with a strap, thrusting painfully slowly. Deep. Making you grow impatient with every second of it. I would pound into you, gaining speed just to pull out and push inside of you again, and you would moan and beg for me to go harder. Don’t worry, I think of it every night myself. It puts me to sleep, thinking of all the things I could do to you. Or do you want me to fuck you with my tongue? To bring you to orgasm after an orgasm with my mouth. Or is it only my fingers that you need? I would stroke them up and down your needy cunt and taste you on my fingers before pushing them inside, but still. I would go so slow, I would make your legs tremble under me. And you would look so beautiful, just like you always do. I can imagine that pretty mouth of yours open. I bet you sound divine. Are you still listening? If you are, pay special attention right now,” and with that, your tone changed, growing even lower and hotter.

“Pull your fingers out of yourself. I need you to call me right now and tell me to come see you. Yes, you heard me. If you have listened up to this point, you know what I will do to you. Call me. I am waiting. And I am impatient.”

You ended the recording and breathed out. If Stones wouldn’t deliver this to Jan Stevens, you would kill him with your bare hands.

﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉

The night of the same day, Jan Stevens was lying on her sheets, absolutely ruined, desperate. A voice recorder on her pillow. Her chest rose up and fell back down in heavy breaths. She cleaned off her fingers and stood up from her bed, whimpering when her tights pressed together. She reached the stationary phone and pressed it to her hot cheek, panting, waiting for you to answer.

#jan stevens x reader #jan stevens x y/n #jan stevens #flux gourmet #gwendoline christie

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miraculouslbcnreactions · 4 months ago

Note

Something something about Zoe admitting that she used to lie to make a friend's and end up losing them because of it.

Where do I ever hear of it?

Oh, right! Lila!

Before Chameleon Lila is just simply a liar, even Adrien(?) reasoned maybe it's because she want to fit in.

Funny how Marinette end up antagonize her while welcoming Zoe heartily and the only difference between them is only one of them has a crush on Adrien. Guess which one that Marinette made enemies of?

I agree that Zoe's backstory is similar to Lila's canon story, but you haven't given a fair assessment of the differences in their introductory episodes. It's not even necessarily fair to call them the same character. Zoe's lying is presented as her acting different to try to fit in. She's not telling major lies about her life to make herself stand out. The worst we get is stuff like this:

Chloé: (closes the door) Since your father isn't here, you'll use mine! If you become my sister, of course. Rule number two: you need a minion. Where's yours? Zoé: Uhhh, I left them…in New York!

Which is still enough to understandably turn someone off to Zoe, but it doesn't make her a Lila clone. Let's look at why that is.

Lila's intro has her actively coming up with very extreme lies that aren't about fitting it. They're about making her stand out! She doesn't want to be part of the crowd. She wants to be worshiped. Here are some quotes from the start of Volpina to give the flavor of lies we see from Lila:

Rose: Can you believe Lila knows Prince Ali? She even flew in his private jet with him! Chloé: Why did Jagged Stone write a song about Lila when he could've written it about me? Nino: Lila knows all of the Hollywood directors. She promised she'd mention me to Steven Basielberg himself! Marinette: (rushes back to Alya's side) Lila? Alya: Yeah, she just started at our school! (points to Lila, who's on the second floor of the school with Adrien) She even gave me an exclusive interview for the Ladyblog, 'cause Ladybug saved her life once! Watch! (shows Marinette the video of Lila on her blog)

It's worth noting that this exchange makes Marinette feel jealous and threatened, but she doesn't hate Lila. She's just afraid that Adrien will fall for the cool new girl. This leads her to follow Lila and Adrien into the school library where we get this:

Lila: So you've got a little soft spot for the bug, huh? Adrien: Me? Oh, no! Not at all! (The book cart moves closer to them, but is unnoticed.) Lila: You know I actually happen to be very close friends with Ladybug. (Adrien and Marinette both gasp.) Adrien: Really?!

This is where Marinette's hatred comes from and it's justified. This scene would play the exact same way no matter who Lila was talking to. Someone is using Marinette's name to get close to people. That would upset most of us. We also get this moment at the end of that same scene:

Adrien:(gets an alert from his phone) I gotta go! I've got a lesson in 58 seconds. (Lila causes Adrien to drop his bag on the floor) Lila: So, the park? (pushes the superhero book on the floor away from Adrien's bag with her foot) Adrien: Uh sure! (runs out) Lila:(picks up the book) A vixen superheroine? Hmm, interesting... (leaves the library) Tikki: Marinette! Marinette: I know. I gotta talk to Adrien before he meets up with Lila in the park. He needs to know that she's a total thief.

Once again, Marinette's feelings are extremely justified. Lila stole Adrien's book and will go on to toss it in the trash, showing that she never meant to return it, probably to avoid the risk of him thinking that she took it. These are two incredibly negative things for someone to witness and they're basically Marinette's first impression of Lila! Meanwhile, this was Marinette and Zoe's first interaction:

Marinette: Sorry I got held up here! (bumps into Zoé) Sabine: Is everyone all right? Marinette: Sorry, sorry, sorry! Zoé: It's totally okay, but maybe I should be asking if you're okay. That was quite a fall!

Very different. Not enough to justify Marinette trusting Zoe, but Marinette's hatred of Chloe combined with this initial good first impression are arguably enough for Marinette to be willing to hear Zoe out and give her a chance to prove herself. It's easy to be rude to service workers and Zoe wasn't, so I can see why Marinette would believe that Zoe isn't a manipulative monster especially since Zoe does apologize and promise to explain herself pretty quickly after the scene where she's rude to Marinette and Co:

(Zoé, sitting at the end of Chloé's bed, gets a text message as Chloé continues to search for shoes. She sees it is a message from Marinette, and reads.) Marinette: (voiceover) I can tell something is keeping you from being yourself. If it's Chloé, we can talk about it tonight, if you want. You're still welcome to come to the Barge. (Zoé texts Marinette back.) Zoé: (internal voiceover as she types) Sorry. I'll explain tonight. (sends the message, Marinette's picture and name pops up as she does)

It would be better if Zoe instigated this text exchange, but I don't hate this scene. I just think it's rushed and that Marinette should come across as more cautious about Zoe after everything that happened at the end of the last season. Marinette's actions here and conviction about her initial judgement of Zoe would make a lot more sense if they came in an earlier season, but this is a formula show, so that's probably playing a part in the awkwardness. Marinette isn't allowed to become more guarded, I guess...

If we go back to looking at Volpina, we find a very different type of story. After Marinette's terrible first impression of Lila, she watches the aforementioned Ladyblog interview off screen and gains even more reasons for her to be justifiably pissed at Lila, further cementing that bad first impression:

Ladybug: (sarcastically) Well hey Lila! How's it going? Long time no see. I saw your interview on the Ladyblog, awesome job. (puts her foot on the bench between Lila and Adrien, and leans closer to Lila) Oh sure! I remember our instant connection when I saved your life and we've been really good friends ever since! Practically BFF's! Uh actually, when did I save your life again, Lila? I don't recall. Oh yes! Of course, now I remember. Never! And we're not friends either! (to Adrien) Miss Show-Off here was trying to impress you and everyone around her.

We learn here that Lila didn't just claim that she was saved by Ladybug, which is honestly a pretty minor lie. Instead, she's once again claiming that they're close friends! Take out the Adrien complication and Marinette would still quickly start to hate Lila because Lila is using her name left and right and that's not okay! It's also not a minor thing.

The show is a little unclear about how seriously society takes the Ladyblog, but it's serious enough for Alya to be treated as an authority who is invited on talk shows as we saw in Prime Queen

Nadja: Don't be bemused, it's just the news! Hi, I'm Nadja Chamack, and this is Side by Side. Today, I'm joined by Alya Césiare, who created the Ladyblog! Together, we'll be looking back over Cat Noir and Ladybug's greatest feats.

The Ladyblog is also the resource that Felix uses to research the miraculous. So it's fair to say that the Ladyblog is not an unknown news source. At the very least, it's being treated as a true authority on all things Ladybug and Alya is getting serious public attention, which means that Lila's little interview is probably going to be treated seriously by a significant portion of society since it's coming from the Ladyblog.

Ladybug would be well within her rights to have Alya publish a retraction. In fact, it's super weird that Ladybug didn't do that and is one of the many reasons why I hate Volpina. The episode completely justifies almost everything Marinette does and then tries to present her actions as being in the wrong by having Adrien chastise her:

Adrien:(to Lila, who is crying) So I guess you aren't the descendant of a superhero either? Ladybug: She's more like a super liar. Lila: How dare you?! Adrien: Wait! Lila! (Lila runs away) Hey, what was that all about? Uh, I mean, weren't you kinda harsh with her? Ladybug: I...I don't put up with lies, especially when they're about me. (yo-yos away)

Which does eventually lead to Ladybug apologizing to Lila:

Ladybug: I... totally overreacted and... never should've spoken to you like that. I'm sorry.

No you didn't overreact! Writers, why are you telling kids that it's wrong to confront people who are lying about you? How should the Lila problem have been addressed if confronting her is wrong? It's not like she stops lying after this or like the show treats her as a minor threat. She's literally the new main villain and her eventual outing to the class is way more dramatic than this, so how was Marinette in the wrong here? Why did the writers have Adrien chastise her?

I've seen people justify Adrien's reaction here as him viewing Lila like a gossip rag spreading lies. To be fair, that's a valid way to make his actions make sense. The best course of action for the lies in those things IS to ignore them because no one with a brain is going to treat a gossip rag as a credible source.

However, the Ladyblog is not treated like a gossip rag and Lila wasn't just spreading rumors for quick cash. She was actively manipulating Adrien and has claimed authority via a reputable news outlet. The appropriate response to that kind of misinformation IS a retraction. It IS appropriate for Ladybug to do something here. If anything, Ladybug was being quite tame! She had a mostly private confrontation with Lila and then let the matter died for some reason. If it were me, I'd be telling the world that I don't know this woman and to not believe a word she says!

If anyone should have learned a lesson in this episode, it's Adrien. He needed to learn the difference between gossip rag lies and lies that you actually need to address, which is frankly a good lesson for a sheltered teen celebrity to learn! It makes sense that he wouldn't know what to do here, but the show treats this as him being in the right and I hate it! Him guilting Ladybug into staying quiet is why Lila is able to maintain her power for 4 more seasons.

Alya could also stand to learn a lesson on checking her sources. It's not like she never runs into Ladybug. Just hold off on posting the interview for a few days.

Circling back to the original ask: if Lila was telling the kind of minor lies that we see from Zoe, then I'd agree that this was a case of hypocrisy, but that's not what we see. It's also why I never really bought the whole, "Lila is just tying to fit in" excuse. Those are not the sort of lies you tell if you're trying to fit in! They're way too extreme!

While I'm not a fan of Zoe's character, her initial lies match the story she tells about wanting to fit in. Lila, on the other hand, feels like someone with an agenda. What that agenda is I do not know, but she clearly has one and she's had it from day one. It's really not weird that Marinette came to hate Lila while she was willing to give Zoe a second chance. The characters were set up in a way where that is an understandable response for her character even if you remove Adrien from the equation.

There are many episodes that make Marinette look terrible. Neither of these make that list. The only questionable thing Marinette does is follow Adrien and Lila into a public library and listen in on their conversation. I'm not going to call that good behavior, but it's hard to be too critical when it's clearly only there because the writers needed Marinette to overhear the lies to kick off the rest of the episode. I personally would have just had Marinette be in the library already and accidentally overhear her alter ego's name, leading her to listen in, but that's not drastically different than what we actually got so it's hard for me to get too worked up over the writers going the dramatic route. That's what they always do. The show relies heavily on absurdity so it make sense for Marinette overhearing the conversation to be done in the most absurd way possible.

#ml writing critical #ml writing salt #lila salt #Marinette defense squad

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kitthepurplepotato · 1 year ago

Text

Chapter 5 - The Aftermath

Summary: Y/N and Katsuki shared a heated make out session and now it’s fucking awkward as hell.

Y/N gets some good news from her doctor, but it also freaks her out. Why? See it for yourself.

Warnings: Swear words, mentions of sex and other “stuff”.

First Chapter Master List

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

“Get your shit together, Katsuki.” Katsuki grumbles to himself in the mirror.

He looks like a mess; his hair is ruffled from Y/N’s fingers, eyes diluted from lust, his face is flushed, his lips are sore and there is something else that’s making Katsuki feel uncomfortable but thankfully, it’s not visible in the small mirror in the bathroom.

Talking about uncomfortable things, he was about to take a cold shower. He definitely can’t see his parents in this “condition”. He also needs to think about the shit that just happened.

They woke up. They cuddled, just how he always wanted to. Then he told Y/N she’s allergic to him; her heart rate went up so much when Katsuki kissed her neck and so did his so he thought they might have the same allergy.

Y/N proved it’s not allergies, just pure fucking love.

Then… things got heated. Really heated. It all started with fleeting touches, followed by heavy kisses, Katsuki’s hips moved forward (clothed) and…

Well. It felt nice, so he continued but then it felt TOO NICE and too overwhelming and he freaked the shit out.

Here’s the tea; Katsuki’s never been into sex. It never worked for him, he never liked being touched and he hated touching others. He genuinely thought he is one of those people who are just not into it, but he is really fucking into it right now but the memories of his failed attempts are clouding his mind, making him self-conscious and terrified of failing his girlfriend who he actually cares about; which is apparently the reason why he’s so into this right now - he’s in fucking love.

Sero told him about “Demi-sexuality” a few months ago but he laughed in his face. Well, he’s definitely not laughing right now.

This is so much for the emotionally constipated Katsuki. He really needs to sit down and have a talk with himself.

Ahh yeah, the cold shower. He needs to think about disgusting things, like the way Deku drinks his coffee; more sugar than actual coffee - two birds with one stone, that worked! He can’t wait to tell Deku he used the thought of him for this purpose. He can’t wait to see his innocent face scrunched up in a frown, cheeks ruddy red under his trembling arms as he tries to hide his mortified nerdy face.

… okay, no, he’s not gonna tell him that. He’s being creepy. Again.

“What the fuck am I doing.” Mr. Katsuki grumbles under the ice cold shower.

Well, whatever. He has all the time to sort his shit out.

~•💥•~

Well, that was an eventful morning.

You can’t lie and say everything is fine; you are confused by Bakugou’s words and actions, and you really try your best to understand him but it’s really hard without getting a proper explanation.

Nevermind. We are talking about Bakugou Katsuki, it was quite obvious something will go terribly wrong at one point and compared to the usual drama, this went really well.

Also, him not wanting to do certain things won’t change your feelings about him, so really, it doesn’t fucking matter. When you said you don’t care if he doesn’t want to go further, you’ve meant it. Yeah.

As you slowly make your way to the table where the Bakugou family is already settled, you take a deep breath; please, don’t be awkward, please don’t be awkward, please…

“Jesus Christ woman, the fuck are you standing in the doorway for, sit the fuck down and eat. Steven will shit all over my window if I don’t feed him soon.” Katsuki grumbles with a fresh cup of coffee in his hand. You look at the beverage with pure longing in your tired eyes and Katsuki points at another cup on the table; contrary to his own black coffee, the one on table looks light an fancy; there is whipped cream on the top and it’s sprinkled with cinnamon in the shape of an explosion.

Fuck, you love this man so much and it’s probably written all over your face, because his parents giggle to themselves while Katsuki gets redder and redder as the time passes.

“Jesus, I’ve been buying you coffee every day for a month now, why do you look so fucking happy?” He rolls his eyes.

“There is an explosion on it.” You mumble under your breath with a fond smile on your sleepy face. You take the hot drink to your mouth without even acknowledging the other people around the table, but no one really bothers telling you off for it, so you try your best and smile at the two sitting opposite of you, hoping that’s enough to convey how happy you are to see them on this lovely morning.

“So you two had a busy morning?” Mitsuki speaks up and the amount of coffee you spill on the orange table cloth is comedic.

“What the fuck, hag?!” Katsuki yells, but mama Bakugou only laughs at that.

“What?! You were so loud I could hear you from the laundry room! Can’t believe you couldn’t keep it in your pants for one fucking day, son! We really are alike!”

“Oh my god, I didn’t need to know that.” Katsuki grumbles, his head landing on the table with a big thump.

“It’s the honeymoon phase. We also couldn’t keep our hands to ourselves in the first months of dating.” Masaru daydreams and Katsuki makes a high pitched whine, completely mortified.

“Yeah. We had to get a new car when you were born because it felt too filthy to put such an innocent thing into it… seeing you now it was a waste of money.” A sound of a small explosion fills the room, followed by the smell of something burning, but no one gives a shit about it. This family is awesome.

“We should’ve kept that car. He was probably conceived in it.” Masaru adds, and your body suddenly shakes with uncontrollable laughter. Katsuki’s head snaps back from the table and he looks at you like you are the biggest traitor in the world, but his face only makes you laugh more.

“I think she’ll fit in really well.” Masaru says with a happy nod as he start eating like Katsuki is not about to explode the full table on them.

You really fucking love this family.

“I love you guys so much.” You giggle, not even thinking about the words leaving your mouth and there’s a sudden silence at the table just a few seconds after you finish your sentence; the whole family stares at you then Mitsuki and Masaru moves over the table to give you the biggest group hug in the world.

“Welcome to the family, you menace.” Mitsuki giggles and when you look at your right side, there’s a teary-eyed Katsuki looking back at you, nothing but fondness swirling in his shiny eyes. He quickly schools his face and cleans his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie, murmuring something about “a cheesy fucking shit”, but his grumble gets ignored. He gives up with a big sighs and for your surprise, he moves towards the pile and headbutts your shoulders like a cat dying for attention.

Well, Bakugou Katsuki might be the most confusing boyfriend the world has ever seen, but one thing is for sure; you feel like you are luckiest fucking person in the world right now to be able to share this moment with him.

Finally, after a year of loneliness you found a place where you belong; a place that smells like burnt sugar and black coffee with a hint of cinnamon, a place full of love and aggressive affection with just the right amount of sass on the edges.

~•💥•~

“It’s time for you to try living without your daily medication, Y/N.” Your doctor says on your monthly check up.

Fuck. You are not ready to go through this shit again. You are also not ready to face the reality in case this goes wrong. You’ve been strong through the whole rehabilitation process because you knew that one day, you’ll be to go back to the field. It was a stupid lie you told yourself to not get completely depressed but all those lies are biting you in the ass right now.

If you can’t live without the medication it means your hero career is over. You should have known that things are too good to be true right now; something had to happen eventually. Fuck.

“Give me a few more weeks. I’m not ready, I can’t….” You freak out but your doctor puts his hand on your shoulders to calm you down.

“Miss Y/N, this is not the end of the world. Even if you fail to retrieve your powers and mobility and need medication for longer, you’ll still have a chance to try again. This is just a trial for us to see where you are right now. You might manage to live without the medication right away, you might manage to get some of your mobility back and we can tinker with your medication a bit to help with the rest, or it might not work at all and that’s absolutely fine.”

“So what will happen if I stop taking my medications?” You ask anxiously; there wasn’t a single day when you forgot to take your meds so you literally have no idea what to expect.

“As you know, you are taking three different kinds of medications right now, two of them daily, one on special occasions.” The doctor starts. “Your quirk attacked your immune system after you woke up from the coma; your body was too weak to handle its power so there is the one that suppresses your quirk to a certain level. That medication is really weak now as your body is in a better condition now, so I’m not too worried about that one. Then you have the occasional painkiller you probably haven’t used for a while, so again, I’m not concerned.” This is where the ‘but’ comes. Fuck. “But…” Yep, there it is. “The third one is for your mobility. You’ve been paralyzed for quite a while and this medication had helped you to be able to live a normal life. You can be a hero with suppressed quirks and you are clever enough to use your powers with its full potential even if you’re not 100% but you can’t go back to your hero work if your mobility depends on your medication.”

That’s… true. If you get stuck in a week-long battle and you loose your pills or have no time to take them you are basically good as dead.

“Thank you for all the information, but that’s now what I asked.” You mumble awkwardly.

“Oh, right.” The doctor perks up. “When you stop taking your medication your body will go into a state of shock for a day or two. We could technically lower the dose gradually but it would make you unable to function for quite a while so it’s better to tear the bandaid off all together. You need someone to take care of you for those two days as there is a possibility of you being paralyzed again. You can also come to the hospital for the first two days if you want. After those two days, you’ll gradually get better at moving around then depending on how your mobility is by the end of the week we’ll decide what to do with your medication. Worst case scenario, you start taking your medication again. Best case scenario…” the doctor smiles with hopeful eyes. “You can go back to full time hero work in a few months.” Your heart makes a somersault in your chest at the sound of that; you really want to be back on the field for real, save people and laugh into the villain’s desperate faces after you took them down in less that a few seconds. You miss the thrill of a battle, you miss being important, you miss your old costume… “Hey, don’t get your hopes up for now! Let’s keep it real. The possibility of you coming out of this right away is really thin. Even being able to lower the medication would be great news, okay?”

“You are giving me mixed signals, doc.”

“I’m just a human, my lady. Deep inside I’m also hoping for a miracle. If someone can do it, it’s you.” He smiles and honestly… that’s enough for you to be less scared of the whole situation.

“So when should we start?”

“Monday. Keep me informed about your condition every day. You know my number. I need every single detail.”

That’s 4 days from now. Oh my god…

“Okay, yeah… let’s fucking do this.” You whimper.

You’ve fought so many battles, but none of terrified you as much as this one.

~•💥•~

“Can I borrow the stamp, Kats?” You sigh into the awkward silence.

You have no idea if it’s your foul mood that makes the blonde grumpy or he also has some shit going on in his mind but you two aren’t on the best terms right now. Somehow, Katsuki has been even more distant than before and with you being freaked out over your upcoming hellish week you didn’t have the mental energy to initiate anything yourself.

“Catch.” Bakugou throws the stamp over to you but you are too unfocused to catch it properly; it lands in your lap and he looks up, bamboozled. “You okay?” Katsuki asks and fuck, you want to tell him everything, you want to cry until you fall asleep in his arms, but at the same time, you don’t want him to know about this situation at all. You already asked for a week of holiday for personal reasons and Kirishima was more than happy to give it to you but you still haven’t told your boyfriend about it.

“Yeah, just a bit under the weather. I actually asked for a few days off next week. Weak, I know.” You laugh self deprecatingly.

“It’s not weak. You are not weak. Stop saying bullshit. Wanna… like… wanna talk about it or whatever?” Katsuki grumbles, his eyes looking everywhere but you. Bless his little cotton socks, he is trying, isn’t he?

“It’s fine, but thank you.” You smile but even you know it doesn’t reach your eyes.

“Well, you know my number if you change your mind.”

“Yes.”

Your relationship is not perfect. It’s full of unsaid words and silenced worries, the air is thick with tension but one thing is for sure; you are both trying and while sometimes, trying isn’t enough, you feel like you two will be able to find the perfect middle ground eventually.

“Hey, Menace…” Katsuki mumbles after a few minutes of silence.

“Yes?”

“Thanks.”

“For what?”

“I dunno. For existing, I guess.” Katsuki sighs while he moves away from his desk, leaving his lap free for you to sit on in a silent offer.

Needless to say, you jump up your chair and make your way towards the blonde right away; you really fucking need a hug anyway.

Katsuki snakes his arms around right as you put your bottom down on his lap; he hides his face in the crook of your neck and takes a deep breath.

None of you say a single word for the next ten minutes, you just enjoy each other’s company as the sudden wave of calmness washes over you in the safety of the other’s arm.

Sometimes, you don’t need words to get your point across; Katsuki’s tight hold tells everything you need to know and you are quite sure your silent hums of contentment also speaks volumes in the comfortable silence.

One day, you’ll be able to tell him you love him. One day, he’ll say it back.

But just like yesterday, this is certainly not that day and that’s fine.

… Next Chapter!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Potato ramble:

- My fav thing about Katsuki and Y/N is that even when they fuck up and end up in an argument, they never even think about leaving each other’s side. They are the perfect couple 😭

- Are we all excited to see if we can go back to be a hero or not? Because I certainly am!

Likes, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated, seeing your thoughts inspire me to continue this story, so tell me what you think 💥🩷

Taglist: (if you want to be on it, tell me in the comments 🩷) @sixxze @iwannahaveaprettyaesthetic @hanatsuki-hime @cloroxisadelectabletreat @cheesenmax @coffeent @smolsleepybat @therealpotatobish

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugo katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugou x self insert #bakugo x you #shenanigansbypurplepotato #bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki #soft bakugou

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somesoups · 9 months ago

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imma be completely honest, i just checked out the watchertv website and i can absolutely see why they were so excited for it - without context, it looks so cool and i would be SO proud of them cos that's huge you know? and i can absolutely see how this has been something they've been aiming for (i remember both ryan & shane talking about how it's been their dream to create high-quality, tv-level productions at various points in time).

but as many have said, a huge issue was perhaps in the execution. assuming this was a set-in-stone end goal for them, much could still have been done to transition the audience gradually to this new platform. ofc, i acknowledge that hindsight is 20/20 but, well. i have to admit that some aspects of how this was executed were indeed quite tone-deaf.

THAT BEING SAID, while i absolutely understand that this tone-deafness could have been extremely hurtful, using this situation as an opportunity to be racist, to attack steven's religion, or to harrass their partners on their socials is completely out of line. this whole fiasco has revealed a startling & upsetting amount of toxicity that is colouring the entire fandom in a really bad light.

also, while i understand that steven being the sole CEO position does make him more responsible over such business decisions, i truly do not think that the "steven is the only villian, he's threatening R&S with a gun" narrative is warranted. as mentioned above, R&S have both expressed their dreams of making high-quality productions (nothing wrong with that btw) and they're also both still the co-founders & main faces of the platform. there's a much higher likelihood that they were both on board with this, and pinning all the blame on steven like this to protect and coddle your 'faves' is frankly a little embarrassing.

#watcher #watcher entertainment #shane madej #ryan bergara #steven lim #esp ppl who coddle shane - i adored him too but to say that he couldnt have been part of this bc he was always vehemently anti-capitalist?#please be fr hes a grown ass man and hes one of the key players in this company #also frankly it's virtually impossible to be truly anti-capitalist if you're running a company in today's economy #mine

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minijenn · 5 months ago

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Speaking of those random UFF ideas I was coming up with last night, here area few chapter ideas I had in mind:

-Crushed: a rather bolsterous new gem arrives at Little Homeworld and falls for Stan and Ford (not realizing they're different people) almost immediately, and she refuses to take no for an answer. Hijinks ensue.

-Fashion Maven: Sphene (one of the Gems involved in the HBO) comes to Little Homeworld, wanting a new start by making her mark on the gem fashion scene. She quickly finds a surprising source of inspiration when she meets Maven, who inspires her to be a bit more... unique with her style than Homeworld ever let her be before. Hijinks ensue.

Sunshine Gem: Amber moves to Little Homeworld full time and meets other healed Ambers for the first time but struggles to fit in with them. So Dipper and Steven try to help bridge the gap between them (though they don't exactly see eye to eye on how).

-Stepping Stone: This one's a little more complicated. So Stonemason (who rememember, will be his own person seperate from Dipper at this point), sees Steven and Dipper form Stepper and is just a lil jealous because he remembers fusing with Steven and lowkey misses it and also kinda lowkey misses sharing the same headspace with Dipper. So Stepper brings him into the fusion. Angst ensues.

-Night Shift: Slow corruption Steven angst, would probably involve this drabble I wrote forever ago bc this scene will not leave my head for UFF

-Pines Productions: I think I mentioned before about how in UFF Dipper would be starting up a docuseries about all of the oddities of Gravity Falls, this chapter would be about him getting it off the ground with help from the other MK (well, help and hinderance lol)

-The Stan with a Plan: Stan notices Steven is Going Through It, so he tries to help him out his own unique way (which involves letting it all out through some... less than legal activities, (basically they go on a Revenge Trip but don't take Amethyst (don't worry, she'd show up to bail them out in the end when they inevitably get in trouble)

#and those are just off the top of my head #as far as broad episode concepts go #finally some good concrete UFF chapter ideas smh #jen writes #universe falls #uff

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leggerefiore · 2 years ago

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💍Steven Stone Gen Romance HCs💎

🪨 He knows there are times he falls obvious or winds up much too busy in either his travels to be an overly attentive boyfriend. Steven never means anything truly malicious, but he knows that he ends up lost in his own research and interests and wishes to do better by his partner. His place as next in line to take over the Devon Corporation weighs on him quite often, too. He typically tries to have you tag along with him on his travels to make up for his shortcomings.

🪨 Steven loves to shower you in gifts, as he simply just cannot think of any other way to make up for his actions most of the time. Rare, shiny pokemon and even some of his more beloved stones are offered up as things to attempt to make up for his lack of attentiveness. They are also given as his main way to show his affection. Anything you want, a simple mention of it will lead to it appearing pretty much the next day. He loves seeing you smile from his gifts.

🪨 PDA is odd with him. He is both aware and not aware of himself. Steven may find himself unconsciously holding on to you, yet he may come into a realisation of this and let go, depending on the situation. He does enjoy having an arm around your shoulders a lot of the time or grasping on to your hand. He mostly allows you to do whatever you please with him, too, barring his moments of realisation. Once more, if it makes you smile, he's more than happy to oblige.

🪨 In private, he is much more loose about everything. There are no worries about outsider looks and manners. His hugs and hand holds can turn into cuddles and soft kisses after a long day, stress finally eating away at him entirely. You will be pressed to his chest for a moment of quiet in his home in Mossdeep, only a distant sound of lapping waves breaking the silence. He may finally snap out of his momentary trance to tell you about his research and any discoveries he made, alongside any fascinating battles he encountered.

🪨 He enjoys having you around in his life as it gives him another anchor in everything. Steven enjoys having someone consistently there for him during his travels as a partner to both confide in and spend time with. Of course, he still enjoys meeting new people, but having you around helps him during his slower moments in it all. A genuine person who cares for him and loves him. Steven is aware he is both a wealthy heir and a handsome man, so having at least one person he knows sees him as a person calms him during any rare moment of stress.

🪨 He does often enjoy a good battle with you if you're a trainer. You might as well be with all the pokemon he will inevitably try to gift to you (they all have amazing stats for competitive). Steven would not declare you his rival, but he would admit to wishing for a sparring partner that he could consistently battle. Beating him naturally earns his endless praise, but losing to him changes very little outside of him trying to encourage you to keep up training. He certainly wants you to grow to a point where you remain as equals, if not better than him.

🪨 His idea of a date is wandering around whatever location he's brought you both two and enjoying the popular spots alongside anywhere that may contain the stones he searches for. You will be taken to the picturesque beaches of Alola and the Haina Desert, probably within the same day. Still, Steven tries his best to keep you entertained and happy. In his native Hoenn, you will often find him taking you to fancy restaurants with Mauville or relaxing on the beach of Slateport. A special date he certainly wishes to share with you is watching a meteor shower at the Mossdeep Space Center together. Essentially, his dates vary quite a bit.

🪨 Steven does not really get jealous typically. He is confident in himself and trusts you entirely. Few people really go out of their way to flirt with the partner of Steven Stone, inheritor of the Devon Corporation, after all. If someone is especially pushy, however, he may step in simply to make sure you are comfortable and make it obvious to the other person that you are already in a relationship. If they still don't quit, he may just bring out his Metagross to “show it off.” Most people give up around that point.

🪨 Should you have been in Hoenn during the incident with the villainous team and legendary pokemon, he will request that you stay inside his home and wait for him to sort out the problem with Wallace. Steven was honestly a bit terrified to involve you, worried about your safety from both the team and the calamity that had started. It was rare to see his calm facade break with genuine, pure worry, so you likely heeded to his words.

🪨 Steven feels at ease around you, too. He knows you will not mind his eccentricities and allow him to go on about his fascinations. One moment he will tell you about why his prefers steel-types over any other type of pokemon before falling into a discussion about how Water Stones may vary between different regions. The Champion knows you see him as a person rather than an inheritor of the Devon Corporation or a pretty face. He just fails to express his contentedness in words. Wallace even approved of you for him, too.

🪨 Just by the nature of being in proximity to Steven, you learn many things about rocks. The pale haired man will eagerly show you his collection and explain how they are formed in nature, their original location, and whatever meaning they may hold. His passion for stones is simply something that you may find yourself invested in. The passion he holds is truly contagious. You find that any gift he gives you involving stones seems especially significant but him.

🪨 Pet names he tends to lean towards are stone related, naturally. “My gem” is a common among his dialogue, but there have been appearances from stones that he believes matches both your hair and eyes. He does use a rare precious, too. In a way, his fondness towards you is as strong as his fondness towards his rocks.

🪨 Overall, he has his moments of obviousness, but is a sweet and caring boyfriend. You tag along on his travels to various regions and locations, and he sees you as a beloved anchor for him. He knows you see him as a person, so he simply wishes to repay that kindness as much as he can, his love language definitely being gift giving. Steven wants to enjoy a life full of exploration and discovery with you and his massive rock collection, basically.

#pokemon x reader #pokemon steven x reader #steven x reader #steven stone x reader #steven/reader

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st4rshiptr00per · 27 days ago

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VNAs skip/read list (my opinion...) made based off my reading of my buddy Rachel's recommended skip/reads. putting this here so i can share it on discord easier lol

4 Timewyrm: Revelation - Paul Cornell

Stands alone pretty damn well tbh and the Doctor and Ace characterization makes me insane

5 Cat’s Cradle: Time’s Crucible - Marc Platt

Not required reading but its more Platt doing more of his Lungbarrow shit, first mention of looms, really great ancient gallifrey stuff

9 Love and War - Cornell

The romance plot isnt for everybody but I love it and this is a really important book to the shape of the series to come, especially for what happens to Ace and her relationships/characterization. PLUS: Benny’s very important introduction!!!

10 Transit - Ben Aaronovitch

Has a semi-earned bad reputation, but it introduces Kadiatu Lethbridge-Stewart and I think it’s good to read if u want the full VNAs experience, including a taste of all its flaws and the breadth of the genres the series contains. Also I just love the hard scifi world building

13 Deceit + #14 Lucifer Rising

HAVENT READ THESE ONES YET SHHH but these also contain important Ace character arc stuff

[ALTERNATE HISTORY ARC ZONE]

19 Blood Heat - Jim Mortimore

Beginning of an arc, very enjoyable (minus a couple slow spots) and has a great jurassic park/Inferno/the last of us setting. Post apocalyptic and hopeless, includes UNIT stuff (!)

21 The Left-Handed Hummingbird - Kate Orman

The ancient Aztec stuff is predictably clumsily handled, but this is where Orman starts and it already has some extremely good hurt/comfort shit going on. Undead color-out-of-space wizards, rogue alien-hunting UNIT employees, and Friendship.

22 Conundrum - Steven Lyons

This one wasn’t for me pacing-wise, but is very well loved. Very successful return of beloved concept from 60s Who…

23 No Future - Paul Cornell

Finale of the Alternate History Arc ft. A returning 60s Who villain. A big chaotic mishmash of a ton of different ideas in a Moffat-era sort of way but I think it pulls it off shockingly well, a lot of fun.

26 Theatre of War - Justin Richards

A Shakespearian space adventure romp… Benny in her element AND the first on-screen appearance of Irving Braxiatel and the Braxiatel Collection. A lot of fun.

27 All-Consuming Fire - Andy Lane

The Sherlock Holmes/Dr Who crossover special :) a lot of fun, with multiple unreliable narrators. Highly recommend.

30 First Frontier - David A. McIntee

Military thriller ft. The Master in the american southwest. I wasn’t big on the prose, but u gotta be excited to see the Master again…

35 Set Piece - Kate Orman

ORMAN BACK AT IT AGAIN. Ace’s big exit story, and the return of Kadiatu. They could not have picked a better author to handle this one. Very sweet, a must-read.

37 Sanctuary - David A. McIntee

A pure historical in 13th century france! Introduction of Benny’s beloved Guy.

38 Human Nature - Paul Cornell

Honestly the superior version of Human Nature. Scarier, sadder, and spookier. A lot more pared down and straightforward than a lot of the previous books to great effect. More of Cornell’s great fantasy-element writing in here.

39 Original Sin - Andy Lane

NEW COMPANION INTRO… Funky and gritty far future setting with fun world building, and our beloved Chris and Roz

40 Sky Pirates! - Dave Stone

This one is fucking bizarre. You just have to try it. Deranged Fritz Leiber pastiche that gets way more thoughtful about the source material than expected. No rating properly communicates the quality of this book. Really excellent eldritch Time Lord stuff in here.

43 Head Games - Steve Lyons

Sequel to Conundrum. A bit of a hot mess, but so much fun. Mel and Ace return(!)

44 The Also People - Ben Aaronovitch

PEAK aaronovitch worldbuilding fully harnessed here. A must-read for Roz characterization, and especially neccessary if you plan on reading the Bernice Summerfield New Adventures afterward. A cozy murder mystery beach episode full of summer romance…

46 Just War - Lance Parkin

Nazi-punching WWII historical. A grimy split-up-team story. Beautifully written and well loved for a reason, even if its a bit messy around the edges.

48 SLEEPY - Kate Orman

The beginning of the lovely besieged community stuff Orman’s going to keep coming back to in future books (see: Vampire Science, Intelligent Tigers). Just beautiful to read, as usual.

49 Death and Diplomacy - Dave Stone

Stone does a “normal” DW plot. Introduction of the very important Jason Kane, don’t read the next book without this one. Really entertaining tonal whiplash from the previous book, a lot of fun.

50 Happy Endings - Paul Cornell

THE WEDDING EPISODE… cameos from characters from nearly every previous book, a gigantic ridiculous slice-of-life with lots of anxiety about what the future will hold…

[ok after this point I haven’t read any of these yet lol]

53 Return of the Living Dad - Kate Orman

Important Benny lore/previous storyline resolution AND jason content

55 Damaged Goods - Russel T Davies

Much loved, very grimy and gritty. Now you get to see RTD without the constraints of an all-ages rating.

56 So Vile A Sin - Orman + Aaronovitch

VERY well loved. Was supposed to be #56 but ended up being published late, so it contains some references to the TV movie… Roz’s big exit. A tragedy.

57 Bad Therapy - Matthew Jones

A special TV companion return :) another book that takes place in a historical queer community

59 The Room with No Doors - Kate Orman

Supposedly one of Orman’s best in this series… Chris Moment.

60 LUNGBARROW -Marc Platt

You know this one.

61 The Dying Days - Lance Parkin

Eight and Benny time :)

#gibber #A/N: i didnt read sanctuary and i didnt actually finish first frontier. bc the prose pissed me off <\3 #added a readmore #vnas #dw #doctor who

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timeagainreviews · 8 months ago

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In Space, Nobody Can Hear You Scream for Your Nappy Change

Few shows have had as many pilot episodes as Doctor Who. From “An Unearthly Child,” to the 1996 TV movie, to 2005’s “Rose,” and now “Space Babies.” However, one could argue that every new Doctor is essentially a pilot episode. There are notable shifts in the show’s dynamic to such a degree that it’s practically a reset. Any major personnel shift is a renewal. The transition from William Hartnell to Patrick Troughton, the transfer of power from Russell T Davies to Steven Moffat, and again, from Moffat to Chris Chibnall, for example. Even series ten began with the cheeky title “The Pilot,” where we find the Doctor earthbound as a college professor with his student, Bill, and his wife, Nardole. But “Space Babies,” is an odd one, for so many reasons. Mostly because it’s introducing us to characters we’ve been getting to know for a couple of episodes now. Then, of course, there’s everything else.

For some, an episode called “Space Babies” was always going to be a hard sale. Back in March when they revealed the new episode titles as a series of vignettes, Space Babies looked and sounded a lot like what we got. Sometimes a very literal title can be a bit of fun. “Snakes on a Plane,” tells you everything you need to know going in. While it may have benefitted from a bit of virality, you could argue that it does more with its premise than something like “Cocaine Bear,” which was little more than its title. I’ve complained in the past that my issue with the concept of the Timeless Child was that you could figure out the story by hearing the words. If I can watch a story in my head from its title, then in the words of Amy Pond- what is the point of you? My reaction to the title “Space Babies,” was very similar. Except in this case, I would say it was closer to a “Snakes On a Plane,” than a “Cocaine Bear.”

We’re off to a great start. I got to mention cocaine and babies in the same sentence. Speaking of awkward starts, why did Russell T Davies decide to open the show with the twee episode for the kiddies? Those types of stories are usually relegated to the mid-season point, after a really good one. I guess they needed a palette cleanser to put some space between “The Giggle,” and “The Devil’s Chord,” as they’re essentially the same story twice. But that’s for the next review. Though “Rose,” has its own brand of wacky weirdness with man-eating rubbish bins and plastic boyfriend doppelgangers with pizza peels for hands. Even still, it’s an odd choice for the “pilot.”

A lot of the episode’s enjoyment is predicated on how cute you think babies are. In my case, it’s not very much. If they had called the episode “Space Kittens,” it would have hooked me. But babies come with baggage. People are weird about babies. Babies are often politicised, which this episode definitely does, but more on that later. Another reason why babies were a hard sell for me is they’re not actors. Child actors are rarely good, so filtering their performances through the vacant faces of babies is like making a bad thing worse. Sure, they animated their mouths with cutting-edge technology straight from 1995’s “Babe,” but their faces gave us no range of emotion unless you count Eric, whose facial expression was that of one constantly bricking it in his diaper. I was reminded of the Gelflings in “The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance,” in that it takes some getting used to the look of their faces. Except in the case of the Gelflings, the Jim Henson Creature Workshop knew their limitations and used CGI where the puppets fell short. A furrowed brow would have gone a long way to sell the babies.

However, I’m not made of stone. I’m not so joyless that I can’t send my critical brain on a little vacay for 46 minutes. I also appreciate that Doctor Who still takes the time to do stories for children. It’s a family show, after all. I was even impressed that the episode was able to sell me on the concept of a booger man (or Bogeyman to be precise) when “Sleep No More,” had so utterly failed to sell me on the concept of eye booger men previously. Even more, I had never expected to feel an emotional connection to said Bogeyman. While a lot of it had to do with Ncuti Gatwa’s performance, I’ll admit I actually got a little choked up at the end of the episode. Even a snotty little freak of nature deserves a place in the world, and I identified with that. It’s nice when a Doctor Who episode ends and it was actually about something.

As mentioned before, Russell T Davies uses the baggage that comes along with babies to stoke the fire of his own story. Through the eyes of Jocylen, the ship’s reluctant nanny, we see the babies in another light- as a constant source of worry. Having never wanted the job in the first place, Jocylen’s part is one of necessity rather than vocation. No one working in the field of charity or crisis aid wants to be doing the work. Sure, it’s fulfilling, but the nature of its necessity is telling of the world at large, or in this case- star system. In a perfect star system, no child would go unhugged, unattended, or forgotten. Yet here she is, forced by circumstance and emboldened by compassion to rise to the occasion. She may not be nailing it, but seriously, who the hell else was taking care of the children they forced to exist? If “Kill the Moon,” was Doctor Who’s pro-life story, this episode stands in stark contrast as the pro-choice story.

An episode with a butt-shaped space station that farts its way to the shores of freedom seems like an odd choice to talk about refugees, but it’s also the episode that gave a booger a soul. While a lot of the tone aligns more with “Aliens of London/World War Three,” or “Love and Monsters,” the message aligns more with something like “Turn Left.” Russell T Davies is giving us a spoonful of sugar with our medicine, which seems the correct approach in a show where Christmas trees are capable of murder. Suffice it to say, seeing a Rwandan refugee playing a British icon on the BBC commenting on the conservative government’s Rwandan bill is better than anything the show could do on its own. You almost have to do it, and more than I’m glad RTD rose to the occasion, I’m glad it was Ncuti who got to do it.

Speaking of things only Ncuti Gatwa could do, I appreciate that his Doctor is emotionally available enough to offer a hug to a child while still being alien enough to scare the bejeezus out of them. I can’t really picture Tom Baker hugging anyone, though I can imagine him scaring the bejeezus out of someone. Maybe Matt Smith would do it. Jodie as well. But Gatwa’s Doctor is an interesting mixture of compassionate and completely aloof. It’s a mixture that is sometimes at odds with itself, but it works. You see it in brief moments like when Ruby’s caretaker instincts take over and she runs head-on into danger, while the Doctor takes a moment to pop around the corner and catch up to her. It’s the classic dynamic of the Doctor being reminded of human nature by his companion.

I really like this selfless defender of the people streak in Ruby’s personality. It reminds me a lot of an ‘80s companion. She’s like a mixture of Nyssa and Ace. She puts herself in harm's way to protect others. She writes songs to cheer up lovesick lesbians. She’s got a very full personality that is palpable very early on. We got this level of character development with RTD’s earlier companions, and it’s nice to see it continue. What’s less nice is how he seems to have also taken a page from Steven Moffat’s book where the companion must also be needlessly complicated. What’s more is it feels less enticing and more like retreading familiar territory. It’s giving “The Impossible Girl,” vibes with an Amy Pond pregnancy body scan to bring it full circle. This is one of my biggest issues with the RTD2 era so far- it feels like a remix of past Doctor Who. That isn’t to say he’s added nothing new to the show, but it does feel a bit Clara 2.0. I’m just saying, it doesn’t always have to be some star-crossed destiny. If you do it every time, it loses its power. Sometimes people just meet each other. Say what you will about Yaz’s characterisation, but at least she was allowed to be a person.

The story at the heart of “Space Babies,” is ultimately a bit thin. You could argue that there was never any real threat, but that happens sometimes on Doctor Who (take “Listen,” for example). I’ve seen some people online complaining that the Bogeyman doesn’t die, but what does it really do other than scare people? Sure, you see Eric’s pram toppled and find him characteristically bricking it in his diaper, but he’s not got a scratch on him. What if Eric went missing because the Bogeyman “ate” him. They could reveal that he actually was protecting Eric from the dangers of the malfunctioning bowels of the ship. Imagine the bogey bits tearing away out of the airlock, slowly revealing Eric inside. Not only would Jocylen have almost taken an innocent life, but two innocent lives. Pair that with the Doctor's brave rescue and blammo! It could have upped the tension and implied more danger, is all I’m saying.

I was a bit confused by the ship’s computer creating the Bogeyman in the first place. That entire aspect of the plot was skimmed over and very flimsy. I thought they were doing something with the show’s new magical premise, a “superstition of the Bogeyman made him exist,” sort of angle. But no, it was just something the ship did, for reasons. I also expected that to be the reason for Ruby's transformation into the weird scaly lizard woman. I expected it to suddenly be possible through superstition that stepping on a butterfly could change the course of history. But instead, the Doctor forgot to push the butterfly compensator on the TARDIS console. Kinda weird that RTD had two moments to further his own mythology but sided on technobabble. Not bad, just odd.

One aspect that bothered me was how long it took them to reveal the Bogeyman was made of snot. When they took the time to do this whole to do with the babies blowing their noses, I immediately looked over at my wife and said “The Bogeyman is made of baby boogers,’ to which she responded “I hate that you’re right.” They telegraphed it so hard that it made the Doctor seem slow on the uptake. If you recall from my review of "The Husbands of River Song," I felt like they did the same thing to River with how long it took her to recognise the Doctor. However, I imagine it's a bit of a balancing act to know when to reveal something. The Doctor doesn't necessarily have all of the information we have as an audience.

As pilots go, “Space Babies,” could have done better at introducing a new audience to Doctor Who. Much of the expository dialogue about who the Doctor is or where he came from felt rushed and unnatural. My friend Taryn said she enjoyed this aspect of the Doctor being less cryptic and more forthcoming with information. While I agree, I feel like the execution was clumsy, a word we’re starting to see more often in my reviews of the RTD2 era. For comparison, take Fallout, a show that came out only a month earlier. Both are technically first seasons of tv shows based on pre-existing properties with dense lore. Both have eight episodes to tell their stories. And yet with Fallout, we get a trickle of information as things happen. With Doctor Who we have the Doctor stopping his companion mid-sentence to say “Oh yeah, by the way, I have two hearts.” Look, I get it, I’m neurodivergent. I appreciate a good infodump. But there’s a big reason people are calling Fallout a triumph- it respects its audience enough to reveal things over time.

RTD said recently that young people won’t watch black and white. I don’t know if this is true as I am a cusp gen x/millennial. I don’t know much about what kids get up to these days, but I also don’t go around saying what they will and won’t do. It sounds a lot like “Those damn kids with their hip hop video games,” or like “Kids don’t like anything that isn’t Tik Tok or Roblox.” It feels like it misunderstands the appeal of storytelling in the first place. Studio executives have never fully understood what is good about Doctor Who. In the ‘70s and ‘80s, it was “Why can’t it be like Star Wars?” In the Chibnall era, the goal was to compete with Netflix. And now it’s “We need to meet the same standards of Marvel.” But if Doctor Who is always being compared to something else, you curse it into always being behind the curve. When I fell in love with Doctor Who, it was because it wasn’t like anything I had ever seen before. If I want to watch Iron Man, I’ll watch Iron Man.

Not all of the expository dialogue was without merit. I’ve been continually impressed by RTD’s handling of the Timeless Child storyline. As longtime readers know, I was not a fan of that story. Hell, first-time readers probably picked up on it in this article. But I don’t think it’s fair to discount the people who did enjoy that story. And I think it is far more interesting for the show to develop the idea as opposed to sweeping it under the rug. We learned that the Time Lord genocide was cellular, which helps the whole concept of the Master achieving what millions of Daleks couldn’t do make more sense. It’s amazing how much a single line of dialogue can overcome a lot of shoddy writing. I liked the Doctor stating that it doesn’t matter where he comes from, as I’ve been saying that the whole damn time. It’s also nice that despite everything, the Doctor is still a Time Lord in his hearts of hearts. We as fans kinda need those moments so we can collectively move on from what has been a rather ugly time in the fandom.

That’s not to say we aren’t still in an ugly culture battle within the fandom. Racism is still a very real aspect to the conversation. As are ableism, sexism, transphobia. And despite RTD meeting these things head-on with the grace of a fish out of water, we’ve still got some great points of intrigue. Who is this woman played by Susan Twist we keep seeing in the background? Who is the one who waits? Is Mrs Flood the White Guardian to Susan Twist’s Black Guardian? I would love to say it’s the Rani because it’s been 20 fucking years of it not being the Rani, which is also the exact reason I won’t say it’s the Rani. But god I wish it was the Rani. They even name-drop her! Give us this one, please. My point being, despite its daftness and its expressionless babies, “Space Babies,” still gives us a lot to go off of. If you didn’t like it, do what I did and watch it twice. The emotional resonance works better when it feels less like you’re watching a car accident.

Look, if you didn’t like “Space Babies,” I get it. Maybe it’s not for you. There are weird little problems with the episode. The expository dialogue I mentioned, for example. The babies are a bit much. The Bogeyman howling like a werewolf was batshit weird. I guess it was because they compared him to a dog. Even then, why not make it bark? You could ask things like “Why didn’t the Doctor use the TARDIS to fly them to safety instead of setting their space station on a crash course with the planet’s surface?” or "Why didn't the Doctor get sucked out of the airlock? It's air pressure, not gravity." Is the humour still falling a bit flat? Sure. It’s easy to pick stuff apart. But come on, the episode is called “Space Babies,” you knew ahead of time if that concept was going to work for you or not.

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Thanks for reading! I'm sorry these articles are taking a while. Having two episodes drop simultaneously doubles my workload! I'll have the review for "The Devil's Chord," up tomorrow! Hopefully next week will be more timely.

#Doctor Who #Space Babies #Ncuti Gatwa #Millie Gibson #Russel T Davies #Ruby Sunday #Fifteenth Doctor #Season one #RTD #RTD2 #Susan Twist #Bogeyman #TARDIS #BBC #timeagainreviews

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