#steve will be more in character soon but for now he's stressed and scared and haunted hope that helps

[flowercrowngods]

part 1 | ao3

shattered on the cliff’s edge, trapped by the tides

— a steddie ghost story —

part 2 / 7

Soaked through by the icy water and the howling winds, and weighted down by shock and fright, Steve’s legs may as well have been made of lead as he, slowly, with a racing heart, accepts his fate and enters the lighthouse. 

He flinches, hard, when the door falls shut behind him, as if pushed by an invisible force, and he flinches again when a wave crashes violently. It’s almost as if the lighthouse is shaking with the impact, but maybe that’s just him. 

“Okay,” he breathes, whispering because he doesn’t dare to speak any louder, lest the unending darkness might be disturbed — and something tells him that it wouldn’t take all that kindly to that. “Okay.” Once more, with feeling. 

Before he can move and find an oil lamp or even just a candle to bring some light into this place, something thumps from somewhere up the stairs he cannot see. 

He knows that, just like ancient manors, lighthouses have a life of their own, knows they’re prone to moving and moaning along with the tides, with the wind and the water — but that was not the settling of wood or metal. That was something else.

“Hello?” he calls with a trembling voice, closing his eyes at the echoes of his own voice travelling up and down the tower he is being made to call home for the foreseeable future. “Is— Is anyone there? I’m… Well, I’m Steve.” 

Images fill the space behind his eyes, horrible visions of the old keepers luring him here to murder him, out of sea madness or cannibalistic urges, or just to have a bit of entertainment out here, just for a while. Other images, then, of ghosts coming to haunt him, to drive him to the brink of madness, to the railing all the way up on the tower, and watch his descent into— 

Another thump. The sound of a door opening, the wood groaning, the hinges creaking, everything insists the lighthouse protesting its new inhabitant. 

And then, through the pitch black darkness, a whisper. Travelling down towards him, growing louder as it comes closer and closer and— 

Steve takes a step back, his breath coming in shallow rapidity as he reaches for the handle and finding it unmoving.

Run, the whisper says, sounding more like an inhale than anything else — and is the air getting thinner? Run. 

Another wave crashes into the lighthouse. 

Run. 

The whispering voice is in his head now, loud for all of its tonelessness. 

Run!

Steve stumbles backwards, his body too frozen with cold and fear to catch his fall. His body collides with the wall and he slides down, covering his ears with his hands to keep out the noise, to keep out the world as he tries in vain for the fear to subside. 

“I’m sorry,” he says, hiding behind his knees like a little boy, scared of his father’s raised hands and his brothers' gloating. “I’m sorry, I mean no harm, I’m just— I’m here to fix the light. I’m here to make sure it’s— everything’s, everything’s fine. I don’t mean to disturb, I’m sorry. I’m Steve. I’m sorry.” 

Everything stills then — or maybe it’s the cotton in his ears and the staccato of his heart that drown out everything else and remind him that he’s painfully, desperately alive. And mortal. 

But the whispering stops, and so does the groaning up ahead, and silence falls. An unnatural silence, not even broken by the ocean waves outside. 

It’s like the lighthouse has stilled to listen to him. 

It’s something Robin told him once (or rather, debated at him while he was letting her rant wash over him in a whiff of fondness for his best friend in the whole wide world): 

“Ghosts don’t know your intentions, right? So it’s only fair to communicate with them. It’s you breaking into their house, after all. Well, unless they’re haunting your house, but even then it’s fair to assume they have been there all along and you either deserve the haunting and had it coming, or you’re just the poor lad caught in the crossfires. Either way, worth a try, right? If even those still alive assume the worst, I would think an eternity spent in the aether is unlikely to be beneficial to your judgement of character.”

Steve had waved it off then — or, in his case, smile patiently and waited for her to answer his initial question from half an hour ago before she went on a tangent on aether and ghosts and the supernatural; she’d been spending too much time in the library. 

“You learn a thing or two about haunted houses, growing up in a family such as mine,” he’d said, and then, “Dinner?” 

A pang splits him down the middle, regret and uncertainty tearing at him concerning Robin’s wheareabouts and her safety. She must be safe. She must be! 

“They say you don’t like— you, uh, strangers. The locals said you don’t like when people come here, so I’m sorry, but… I’m sorry. I have to fix the light. I’m Steve.” 

It’s madness, it must be. Early onset, although his father would have a thing or two to say about that, would claim it had always lived in him, would claim the way he looks at men is proof of that and reason enough to have him hanging in the streets. 

It wasn’t madness back then, Steve knows, vehemently, desperately knows. But this? Talking to a lighthouse, speaking into the darkness like it’s sentient even just a minute after he first set foot into it? It must be. He’s never been superstitious, has never been prone to ghost stories or supernatural appearances like Robin. 

But something about this place, something about the way it has been haunting his dreams, something about Old John capsizing is enough to make even the calmest man lose his wits. 

Something tells Steve that talking with the darkness is the right thing to do, if only for his own comfort. 

He looks up, his head thumping against the brick wall behind him, as steps approach. They still, right in front of him, and he’s staring into nothingness, almost expecting to make out a shape. Expecting for the next breath to be his last. 

Expecting… something. 

But nothing happens, and the sound of the ocean returns. The darkness seems less impenetrable as a sliver of light falls in through a side light up above. 

“Thank you,” he says, as stupidly as it is soundless, his voice buried beneath fear and dread. 

Miraculously, the darkness seems to fade a little more. 

Enough, eventually, for Steve to get up and dust off his trousers in an attempt to look presentable, or to shake off the residue of his fright — if only it was merely residue. 

Now that the darkness has lightened, he keeps his eyes fixed to the spot where he feels like he can make out a shape in the dust. Maybe it’s just his mind playing tricks on him, though, maybe it’s just the expectation of finding a spectre that makes one appear. 

Madness, he reiterates. But something about it doesn’t feel right. He doesn’t feel mad. And the steps never receded. If they were not an illusion, something created to steal the grounds from beneath his feet, playing with his senses to warp his perception of reality and the truth, then something — someone, quite possibly — is still standing right in front of him. 

He looks on even long past the point of impolite staring, searching the dust for a shape that only appears in his periphery when he moves his eyes. 

It feels rather undeniable, though, that someone is watching him. 

“Hello,” he says at last, having regained some of his voice and footing. His hands clench by his sides, though, his body revolting against speaking with an apparent ghost. 

The darkness doesn’t answer, and neither does the dust. But with the memory of urgent whispers still on the forefront of his mind, Steve is almost grateful for it as he carefully reaches for his bags and stars to move so slowly that it might almost be a mockery of the situation if his legs weren’t so shaky. 

The weight of an invisible gaze rests on his shoulders and settles in the bones of his neck. It takes everything in him not to rub at it — he has no idea what the darkness would take offence to, and he already feels incredibly lucky to have made it this far with his life still intact and only his sanity and his pride having taken a crack along the way. 

He thinks of Old John again, thinks of Good luck, kid. He almost asks the darkness about him, but he bites his tongue just in time. The stairs are steep and if he fell, given an invisible push, chances are he wouldn’t remain as alive as he is right now. 

So he swallows and feels his way along the wall up the stairs. When he finds an oil lamp, he reaches for the matches in his bags — blessedly dry — and lights it.

It’s almost blinding, the shine of the flame that sets to illuminate the way, but Steve feels his gaze drawn to the foot of the stairs where the spectre is still framed by the door. Still appearing to look at Steve. 

Stalemate is one thing to call it, maybe, this tension in the air, the weight of their gazes accompanied by the stumbling of Steve’s heart and the trembling of his hands. 

Steve swallows and continues with his ascent of the winding stairs, never once losing the feeling in his neck. He finds more lamps along the wall and lights them until they lead him to a set of chambers that in any other lighthouse would have been down at the bottom or even in another building altogether, leaving room in a large house or a tiny hut for the keepers to reside in. But none of that is possible out here, in the middle of the sea, towering on top of cliffs that already make it nary impossible to get here. 

The lighthouse is prone to flooding if the wind shifts or the ocean remains ruthless in a storm, so everything needs to be located above the threat of sea level. 

He finds two bedchambers, the beds unmade, a richly stocked pantry that will last him several months if he keeps it locked away from wet air, and an almost inviting kitchen. A burnt smell wafts from the oven, grown stale over time but a certain bite has never quite managed to air out, and when he takes a look, he finds what was supposed to be bread still in there. A coat hangs on a rack, another is hung over the back of the chair, and another stool has been thrown over. 

It looks for all intents and purposes like someone was just here. Like someone is still here. 

What happened to the old keepers? — That does not concern you. 

A shiver runs through him and he tries not to succumb to the terror that seems to lurk inside these walls as he starts a fire in the hearth. He is exhausted, adrenaline rushing from his body and leaving behind only apathetic tiredness and a longing for rest. He doesn’t even remember the light, his head filled with fog and exhaustion.

Once the fire is going and he is sure there is enough coal for it to last all night and keep him from freezing to an early death, Steve falls into bed without dinner. He only has enough strength not to retreat into a dead man’s unmade bed, instead finding new bedding and linen to make it his own. 

He doesn’t sleep on that first night, but he falls into a haze thick enough to be unable to move as the whispers return, knocking and hammering along the walls almost rhythmically, as if waiting for a signal. 

There is no time, they say, though he cannot be sure the next morning if he dreamed that or if he really heard it echoing along the walls. 

Run. Leave. There is no time. 

Tick. 

Tick. 

Tick.

And the night remains dark.

tagging: @klausinamarink @steviesummer @auroraplume @dragonmama76

[that-birdy-chick]

Part 2 of me rambling about s8 of hawaii five 0

Live commentary

ep 6

- did-did Danny really just organize an intervention for Steve? To make him take better care of himself?? I don't know how to feel about this

- Lou really just said "Steve listen to your husband, he loves you" spoken like a true married man

- kinda gotta agree with Dog, not your finest move Danny

- so can we all agree that Danny losing his mind a little over Steve's radiation poisoning is kinda like the whole Steve losing his mind over Danny retiring thing but in reverse?

- I think Steve has never looked more stressed than with this stress counseler person asking him about his sexlife right in front of danny

- awwww now the end of this episode is in my top 3 favorite heart to hearts these two dorks have ever had

- Danny being honest about being scared that Steve isn't taking his radiation poisoning seriously to the point it keeps him awake at night and steve replying that he's scared too but that he doesn't want Danny to change because he loves him the way he is and that he does take things seriously URHGH

THE GROWTH! The genuinely healthy communication! I'm so proud of them 🥹

ep 7

- no no no what is going on between adam and kono? My breakup senses are tingling and I don't like it

- I swear the way Adam and Steve's conversation in the car went is so "let's talk about our respective marriages" coded

Like honestly it's so blatantly obvious - they are literally paralleling mcdanno to kono and adam ffs

- hey and come on adam you too? Why does everyone need to shit on the restaurant thing

- haha Steve is mad people he cares about just walk into a dangerous situation without backup - I love how this season confronts Steve with his own behavior

-hmm l don't know how to feel about Lou literally deleting evidence to protect tani, really most of their shady "police work" really didn't age well

- damn Steve killed a cop, that's definitely gonna fuck with him

- love how Lou is looking out for everyone, he just is the team grandpa

- sooo adam is gonna join five 0 right? This is what all this is about isn't it?

- I swear I am trying to care about junior and tani and what's going on with them but Idk so far I haven't really warmed up to them

ep 8

- eyyy Danny is back and calls Steve babe within 1 min into the episode? This can only be a good one

- nvm I swear to God Steve if you crash land yet another plane-

Seriously dude? Haven't you learned your lesson from the last time?

- naww Danny is so proud of Steves character development, sure hope he isn't gonna do something dumb and risky and ruin it again

- okay so tani and junior huh? They're definitely gonna be a thing soon aren't they

- the dude was killed because he was hiding from a drug cartel that he snitched on and fled with the drug lords daughter, I swear all these people always have the most dramatic backstories

- aaaand steve is doing the dumb reckless thing, Danny my guy I feel you're pain, he is so done with his shit he doesn't even yell at him anymore

- Danny is such a fucking saint, Steve almost went and got himself killed AGAIN and all he cares about is being last and danny husband of the fucking year just goes "yeah yeah you did well let's get a beer maverick"

- okay tani and her brother are kinda cute in their peek sibling behavior, I feel bad now for calling her a kono replacement, girl is much more than that

ep 9

- damn love Jerry's new haircut

- I will never get tiered of Danny and steve bickering about the restaurant, I know they are setting it up to fail but I genuinely think this could have been a good thing to eventually end the show on, like a retirement thing, but oh well

- aww I love Danny trying to comfort neolani with something Steve told him, only to have it backfire and make him anxious again

- pfffff and tani and junior sit in the far back like literal children

- oh great we're doing the biological warfare stuff again, this should be fun

- so they only have 8 hours to live? sounds like a prime love confession set up to me

- love our respective couples comforting each other, have to say tani and junior are doing a way better job tho like seriously Steve "try not to die while I take this call okay?" that's the best you can do, seriously?

- and of course Danny's all time stress response is to bitch about or at Steve, stellar coping skills all around

- omg danny did not just say-and steve didn't - OMG is it actually-

-nvm of course it's a fake out, damn it after 7 season why do I still keep falling for this shit

-the little restaurant talk Danny started to distract Steve and himself with was pretty sweet tho

- hey, wait why is Danny the only one definitely close to death? The others all seem relatively fine

- and of course Steve has to go and needlessly risk himself, so junior has to safe both their ass's instead of him just doing it on his own in the first place

- excuse me people why are there not more fanfics about the crew stuck in quarantine together?? this shit is hilarious and has so much potential for angst!

Please if anyone has some great fic recommendations send them my way please!

-no come on Danny, Steve didn't wanna upset you! That's honestly a pretty mature thing given the situation you were in, and now their arguing

- poor tani and junior they be stuck with these two idiots for a long time

- I could really see tani, just snapping at them after two days to either kill each other or fuck it out already, because their whole shebang is just exhausting for everyone

ep 10

-AHHHHH they finally opened the restaurant!? Progress!

- why does the screen look weird? Please don't let this be a dream type thing

- "Right now grandma Williams is smiling down at you" awww Steve, that is so sweet🥹

- nooo it's a dream thing 😭

- love how everyone makes fun of Steves near mental breakdown haircut, really dude it looks terrible, why does no one stop him?

- wow you really gonna give em kids the judgemental stares for flirting? Steve Danny as if you're any better

- and of course they're getting jumped in freaking quarantine

- really the dude went through all that trouble, just to kill Danny? And didn't even try aiming for the head? amateur

- aww Danny imagining grace wedding, my heart <3

- Danny is hurt, Steve is freaking loosing it, I'm so here for this

- Lou really said "sir, you better have a plan soon because if you don't Steve will come up with one, and only God can help us if that happens" I love you so much Lou

- huh so Danny thinks Charlie will be a cop? That's interesting

- awww and of course Steve is there, sitting next to him like a good husband, and the rest of the ohana

- nooo Danny being there for kono and adams first kid, that is so wholesome 😭

- Steve is straight up having a terrible time, while Danny has some idealistic feverdream about the future, this is so fun

- excuse me Steve you fingering your husband does absolutely not make you even for the liver thing, you nut

- so there gonna blow up a bomb right next to another bomb? Sure that seems reasonable

- yes Lou! Get the sledge hammer!

- poor Eric, don't worry hun we still have 2 seasons left to go Danny will be fine

- no NO you cannot- you did not just show me that while Danny's dying the last thing he hallucinates about is having grown old with Steve 🥺

- "and if I could do it all over again I wouldn't change a thing" I'm done, this is it, that line just killed me 😭❤️

- excuse me, Danny is dying and you people are choosing NOW to tease Steve about his stupid haircut? Seriously??!

- yes everyone copes differently I guess, but when Steve's life was on the line no one was joking around is all I'm saying

- yes Danny Steve saved your life by fingering you, deal with it XD poor Eric is scarred for life

- love Danny genuinely getting some love for once, this was a good episode

[alloftheimaginesblog]

Worries {Steve Harrington}

Prompt: "Do you love her?"

Character: Steve Harrington x Reader

Warnings; Angst

Steve snored lightly from beside you, frowning in his sleep. You smiled, rolling over to watch him for a while. He looked so peaceful as he slept. You leaned in close, ready to kiss him to wake him up, when he uttered one word that sent your heart plummeting.

"Nancy..."

You stopped. It was the utterance of a single word that shattered everything. You couldn't help it when tears welled in your eyes and you couldn't help the overwhelming pang of sadness and jealousy that hit you square in the heart.

Steve and Nancy had dated for a while and you knew that he had been in love with her. First loves weren't easy to get over, you understood that, but Steve had assured and reassured you so many times that he didn't feel anything for her now; that he was one hundred percent over her and he loved you now. You believed him. Steve was perfect, he was attentive and kind and he was everything you could've wanted and more. You also knew that dreams were just dreams. You'd had plenty of crazy dreams with people you didn't care about but as soon as he murmured her name, all of those insecurities came flooding back to you.

Honestly, you should've woken him up then and asked him about it but it was you and you let emotions control you sometimes so instead, you grabbed your clothes and snuck out of Steve's house. You knew that it was silly, you knew it was better to face your problems head on but there was a worry of your floating around your head that you were too scared of the answer to stick around and hear.

Does he still love her?

Hours later, Steve had tried calling you over and over but each time you just had your mom tell him that you were busy. Frustrated with the lack of response, Steve decided to visit you. He usually would've knocked on the front door but he knew that if you'd told your mom, she would turn him away so instead, he opted to climb up the pipe and into your bedroom.

As you lay in bed, eyes full of tears as you stressed about it, you heard a small tap on the window. You turned to see your doting boyfriend, Steve Harrington, looking at you confused through the glass. You couldn't exactly turn him away now so with a deep breath, you stood up and opened the window letting him inside your bedroom.

"What the hell is going on?" He asked, frowning, as he clambered in, "First you leave my house before I wake up then next I'm trying to get a hold of you all day and you're apparently 'too busy'. What's going on (y/n)?"

Despite yourself, you broke down then. Anxiety bubbled in your stomach and you just couldn't handle the stress anymore. Steve was quick to bundle you in his arms and take you to bed. He kicked off his shoes before laying down with you.

"You were sleep-talking," you sniffed as you lay on his chest, "and you said something during your sleep."

"What did I say?" Steve asked.

Your bottom lip wobbled as you looked up at him, "Nancy," you whispered, "You said 'Nancy'."

Steve frowned, "Oh..." He paused for a moment, "Well that doesn't mean anything-"

"Doesn't it?" You asked sharply, "What if it means the opposite? What if it means everything?!"

He shook his head, tendrils of his perfect hair falling out of place, "I assure you, babe, it means nothing. I don't even remember what I was dreaming about in the first place but I know it wasn't half as bad as what you think it is." He pulled you in tighter, "Is this why you've been so upset? Is that why you're avoiding me?"

"Do... Do you love her?"

His face fell as he looked at you. He could see how worried you were; could see the fear in your eyes and the sadness on your face, "Oh baby, no. I don't love Nancy anymore. I love you. I don't know what dream me was thinking but he's an idiot okay? You have to trust me," he pulled up your hand to press gentle kisses to your soft skin, "It's only you for me."

You released a breath you didn't know you were holding as your worries began to fade away. You knew the whole thing was silly but sometimes, humans were silly; they think silly things and do silly things when they're in love.

"I'm sorry," he said and he was so sincere with it, "I love you, (y/n). No one else, I promise. Do you forgive me?" Silently, you nodded against him as he pulled you in tight, "Good... Waking up without you there was awful please never do it again." Gently, he tilted your face up to look at him with his thumb on your chin, "I love you."

"I love you, too... I'm sorry."

He shook his head, "You got nothing to apologise for but please, baby, if you're ever worrying or having a self-conscious moment please just talk to me about it... Don't let it fester. Don't let it stress out my beautiful baby. Deal?" You nodded, the slightest of smiles quirking your lips upwards, "I'm gonna kiss you now." And he did as promised, his kiss soft and sweet, exactly the kind of thing that you needed just now.

[professorrw]

Becoming a Parent

Pairings: female reader x Tony, Thor, Loki, Clint, Steve, Sam, Bucky

Request: I would love to see more of the characters reacting to their significant other’s pregnancy or even with their little kid

Warnings: none

A/N: Requests open, taglist open, inbox open! Please like, comment, and reblog!

Tony Stark

-tony would be ecstatic if he found out you were pregnant

-as soon as he finds out he tells the rest of the Avengers

-he brags about it every chance he gets

-he doesn’t let the public know because he doesn’t want you or the baby to get hurt

-he will SPOIL that child

-he will give them anything they want

-during your pregnancy he will make sure you’re comfortable and feeling okay

-he most likely would stay with you and your baby for a few months before and after the pregnancy

Thor Odinson

-just like Tony he’s excited

-he’s giddy from the time you tell him to the time you have your baby

-he’s always wanted a little one

-he’s already planning all the stories he’s going to tell them to bed

-once you have your baby Thor is all over it

-every chance he gets your baby is in his arms

-he is such a softie for you and your child

-he most likely cried when you told him and when you gave birth

-everyone would be amazing parents but Thor would make sure his child is never upset

-he would show off his child, not brag but literally carry them around and show everyone

Loki Laufeyson

-Loki is a little scared when you tell him your pregnant

-he isn’t sure if he’ll be a good father because of all his family drama

-he vows that he’ll never abandon you or your child

-he will try his absolute best to be a good father

-he would mellow out a bit once he found out because he doesn’t want to do anything that could cause you or your baby any harm

-when you give birth he’s right by your side

-he holds your hand and tells you everything is going to be okay

-once the baby is born he falls in love with it

-he didn’t entirely comprehend the fact that he was going to have a kid

-but as soon as he sees your baby he knows he’ll protect it with his life

Clint Barton

-he always wanted kids

-he may seem like a bit of a grump on the outside but he is a total family man

-he would keep your pregnancy a secret for you and the babies safety

-he stays home with you a lot and makes sure to call often when he isn’t with you

-he cries when you tell him and when you give birth

-he’s in complete awe of this thing you both created

-as your kid gets older Clint will try to be there as often as possible

-you being a mom makes you more attractive to him

-he was completely in love with you before but then you have his child and he sees you taking care of it and loving it and he just melts

Steve Rogers

-out of everyone I think Steve would be one of the best parents

-he is very family oriented and very responsible

-everything is planned out

-he keeps track of doctor appointments and all that

-he would go a little overboard with the clothes especially the superhero merch

-when you tell him his mouth falls open and his eyebrows turn upwards in the middle

-he’s speechless but he hugs you and kisses your belly

-while you’re still in the hospital after giving birth you fall asleep and look over and Steve is holding the baby, rocking them, cooing at them, and talking to them

-he staring down at it with a smile plastered on his face

-since you had the baby he was glued to your side making sure you were doing okay

Sam Wilson

-when you told Sam he dropped to his knees and cried

-he never explicitly wanted to be a father but now that he found out you were pregnant he’s excited

-he would also keep it a secret from everyone but Bucky, Steve, and his family

-he would carry the ultrasound pictures in his wallet

-when he was missing you he would just pull them out and look at them

-he would occasionally tear up when he looked at them

-he would ask Sarah for advice on what to do and how to help alleviate your stress and pain

-he’s a grinning mess the whole nine months

-he can hardly wait for you to have the baby

-he would rub your stomach and talk to it all the time

-he would go to parenting classes with you and do yoga with you

Bucky Barnes

-he’s scared

-he isn’t sure if he’ll be a good father because of everything he’s been through

-that doesn’t mean he won’t try though

-you reassure him all the time that he’ll be a great father

-you would take his hand and press it against your stomach every time the baby kicked

-whenever you were doing something he would come up behind you, nuzzle his face in your neck, and put both his hands on the underside of your growing belly

-he would keep your pregnancy a secret because he would be scared of something happening to you or the baby

-when you give birth he would fall in love with your baby

-he would do anything to keep you two safe

-he would be hesitant to hold it because of his arm but you would tell him it was okay

-when he’s holding the baby its like nothing else matters other than them

[vdlest]

On Labor

Characters:

Husband!Steve Rogers x Wife!Reader

Summary:

You're about to give birth to your first baby with Steve Rogers, and your husband is more nervous than you are.

Warning:

Fluff

Husbands are allowed to join their wives when they're giving birth when they're in labor, but for some reason, you asked the doctors and nurses to let your husband, Steve Rogers outside the room.

Why? Because Steve Rogers is more nervous than you are.

You were in the middle of groaning in pain when you commanded everyone in the room to let your husband go out because you could see him shaking and sweating so much. You're not that afraid about giving birth, but seeing your source of strength go into chaos makes you nervous a bit.

At first, Steve was hesitant about leaving you alone in this, but you told him that you can do it and the nurses will just call him once they finally got the baby out of your womb. Steve kissed you one more time before he went outside, and before he could finally get out of the room, he gave you one last glance, one last glance before you two become officially parents.

Steve went outside and the first person to approach him was his best friend, Bucky Barnes. The latter rushed to the hospital once Steve gave him the news, knowing that he's excited to be a godfather.

"Hey," Bucky squeezed Steve's shoulder, he felt his pal is nervous and stressed out, "I guess, your wife kicked you out because you're stressing her out."

Steve glared at his best friend.

"Okay, easy, soldier," Bucky said and gave Steve's shoulder another squeeze, "I called everyone and I think, Wanda, Vis, Nat, and Sam are on their way now. Tony and Pep are still on the plane and I'm gonna give them a call once they landed."

It's a good thing that everyone will be here to give their moral support to the soon-to-be parents.

Everyone was thrilled when they first found out about your pregnancy, they're so happy that the youngest Avenger is coming. You and Steve were the happiest after finding out about your pregnancy, Steve was having tears of joy when you handed him your four pregnancy tests that all resulted as positive. Finally, after being married for two years, you and Steve are finally expecting.

For the past nine months, Steve never left your side, from your morning sickness, your Lamaze classes, cramps, and up to this very hour, Steve was beside you. He made your pregnancy more bearable and easier. He would always do the groceries and would bring you and your little one healthy foods. He would always talk to your tummy at night and will draw circles in it using his fingertips. He would always help you get up in the morning whenever you're having a hard time because of your weight. He would always understand you and your mood swings. You were strong on your whole pregnancy journey because of Steve. If it weren't for him, maybe you gave up in the first trimester.

"Hey," Bucky called Steve's attention, who is currently walking back and forth, "You have to relax. You're freaking me out already."

Steve stopped from walking and put his hands on his waist as he try to calm himself down.

"Buck, Steve!"

Steve and Bucky turned their heads around and saw Wanda, Vision, Nat, Bruce, and Sam running towards them.

"How's Y/N?" Wanda immediately asked when they approached Steve and Bucky, "Is the baby out yet?"

Steve shook his head, "I don't know. I have no idea what's happening inside," he looked at the door where you are at, "She kicked me out."

"It's because you're more nervous than her," Nat pointed out.

Steve was about to comment on Nat's answer when he noticed she and Bruce are together. The two of them broke up a few months ago because Nat is not yet ready to settle down, while Bruce has been wanting to start a family on his own. The two called it quits then, not until today.

Everybody is looking at Bruce and Nat right now. Wanda and Vision only realized it when Steve noticed it first.

"Why are you two together by the way?" Wanda asked Nat, raising her eyebrows at her friend.

"Yeah, didn't you two like broke up?" Bucky agreed.

"Uh, we were..." Bruce was about to answer when Nat cut him off.

"Okay, we're back together," Nat practically couldn't take the heat and everyone's attention so she instantly shifted the topic, "But right now our concern should be Y/N and the baby. Let's talk about this thing later."

"Fair point," Vision commented.

Nat, Bruce, Wanda, Vision, and Sam sat down in the chairs along the hospital hallway, while Bucky stood beside Steve who's still nervous because he has no single idea about what's going on inside the room.

He blames himself for being too nervous. Maybe if he's not too sweaty and nervous as hell, maybe he's inside right now, holding your hand and helping you push your little bundle of joy out of your womb. But he isn't. He's too scared to lose both of you, he can't even take a look at you having a hard time.

"She's gonna be fine, Steve. She's strong," Sam said to calm Steve down.

"Sam's right, pal," Bucky tapped Steve's shoulder, "It's your wife we're talking about. She can even take you down in an instant, so she'll just be fine. I'm sure my godson will be fine too. He has your and Y/N's blood. He'll be stronger than both of you."

Just when Steve is about to thank everyone for giving him and you moral support, the door behind him opened.

"Mr. Rogers," the nurse called and Steve raised his eyebrows, "Your wife is now permitting you to go inside."

That's when Steve rapidly went inside the room. His world slowed down when he saw you all sweaty and all tired from pushing your baby out of your womb to finally join you and Steve. He can't even walk towards you properly knowing that you're in so much pain right now. But you managed to look at him in his eyes and gave him a sign that you're fine.

You didn't know what happened, the next thing you know, your back was already back on the hospital bed, nurses assisting you, and a cry echoed in the whole room.

A baby's cry.

Your baby's cry.

Steve walked towards you and run his hand through your forehead, "You've done it, baby," he kissed your forehead, "Our Joshua is out."

The doctor and nurses wrapped the baby in a cloth so they can finally hand him to you. And when they did, your eyes began to cry for Christ's sake.

You have in your arms the best proof of your and Steve's love for each other.

"Hello, baby," you gently grabbed your baby's hand and played with it, "I'm your mom."

You often hear that when you finally carried your baby for the very first time, all the hardships and challenges you experienced when you were pregnant and giving birth will just vanish in thin air. You thought it was cliche and just a lie — but it's not. It all disappeared when Joshua was in your arms.

You looked at Steve and smiled at him, "We're parents," you said.

He nodded, "We are."

You saw tears in Steve's eyes, just like when you two were exchanging vows two years ago, and now here you are, proud parents.

"I love you even more right now," Steve said as he leaned forward to give you a quick kiss on your lips, "You really are the strongest woman I know."

"I love you too, Steve. You have two bosses now," you joked.

He chuckled and nodded before he moved his eyes back to Joshua, "Hey, baby," he said to your baby.

It was a dream come true for you that you married a man like Steve Rogers, he was never perfect but he's a good man. That's all that matters to you, you married a good man. And now, you love him even more, and you gained more honor to be his wife.

-v.dl

[tinyyoungblood]

how ab a headcanon where the avengers all take a trip either to disney world or on a disney cruise? i’m a whore for the idea of everyone, especially peter and y/n, just acting like kids again

pairing: peter parker x avenger!reader

a/n: i like this prompt so much!! i’ve never been to disneyland, but i hope this is accurate enough lol. i also turned this into a vlog bc someone had to record this mess and since it can’t be me, i’m giving filming privileges to bruce

              ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

the avengers in disneyland

everyone is very very excited and the days before they leave pass in a flurry of excitement, but peter has never been to disneyland, so he’s THRILLED beyond means

peter’s jumping up and down while everyone’s loading the van and he keeps asking them if they’re ready for this “life-changing field trip?????”

sam is genuinely afraid that if peter jumps any higher he will bounce off earth, so he grabs peter by the middle and carries him horizontally into the car

steve gave a whole lecture on not getting lost the day before and since tony couldn’t resist it, he is dressed head to toe in neon yellow and grinning cockily

nat steps into the van, sees him, and turns around with her hand over her eyes like she’s been blinded

bruce brings his video camera with him and records everything. first thing they do is hit up a gift shop and it is better than any oscar nominated movie

everything they pick up is subjected to a thorough label reading and some kind of commentary

“steve, show them what you’re getting!!” “slippers” “what kind of slippers” “uh...soft”

thor on the other hand takes it very serious and his commentary ends up being very ~shakespearean~

peter and y/n get matching friendship bracelets for everyone

loki: “i’m not wearing that”

y/n: “that’s alright-“

loki: “no tie it on for me”

bucky wouldn’t have come along if it weren’t for steve and sam, but now he’s taking it upon himself to make sure that everyone stays in good condition so they don’t miss out on training

the whole team gets hourly text messages from him in the group chat

bucky: “There’s a water leak in Mickey’s Toontwon. If any of you slip and hurt yourselves I will kill you.”

y/n: “love you too buck”

(they know it’s his way to express his love for them so every message almost makes them tear up)

loki really wants to go on splash mountain but since he doesn’t want to get his clothes wet, he asks the guards how ~splashy~ splash mountain gets

they don’t take him seriously and it infuriates loki because it’s a perfectly reasonable question but it quickly turns into a passionate argument that holds up the entire line

“I DEMAND TO KNOW HOW HIGH THE RISK OF GETTING WET IS, YOU INCOMPETENT FOO—”

*cue y/n and nat dragging him away while bruce runs after them to zoom in on loki’s pouty glare*

they get him a green rain poncho with black polka dots from one of the gift shops, and he’s still glowering but he puts it on without protest before each ride that involves water

normally the avengers would easily get recognised but since everyone is walking around in costumes, people approach them for several other reasons

thor is just peacefully standing in life, staring at the incredicoaster like it’s the love of his life, when a little kid tugs at his cape

“excuse me sir, why are you so tall?” “good question, why are you so short?” “hmm” “hmm”

they find a micky mouse whac-a-mole and everyone is having Fun but something possesses tony and clint and they are really going for it

tony is a 5 foot tall ball of stress and competitiveness and he is yielding that plastic hammer like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do

clint on the other hand is starting to feel the numbness in his arms

y/n, with sarcasm: “you can do it, clint!”

clint, with spite: “i cannot do it, thanks”

*y/n stares into the camera*

they also make up a rule that if you are in a 5 meters radius of one of the theme park characters, you HAVE to snap a picture with them

steve, who gets constantly shoved nudged by bucky into some character’s path, ends up taking a picture with almost every single disneyland character

at some point, he’s just downright sick of it and there’s a 7 min video of steve zooming across the lot while goofy and woody run after him with wide open arms

bucky is doubled over with laughter in the background while sam is standing beside him and wiping away his own tears

the avengers also buy all the pictures that are taken of them on the rides and even stop at some photo booths so they can send them to wanda and vision who are both vacationing on hawai’i <3

thor, peter, and y/n run themselves ragged and their legs almost give out but they will not stop until they have been on every ride that disneyland has to offer

the others think it’s obnoxious but they follow and join them without hesitation

tony is secretly trembling with fear. doing loops in the air at the speed of light is fine and so is battling aliens, but getting on a rollercoaster ride is just heart-stopping horrifying

it’s not that he doesn’t like rollercoasters, (that man has no self-preservation skills, anything that resembles plummeting to death will be gazed at with big heart eyes) but he just doesn’t trust them

if he didn’t build it or prove it, he doesn’t trust it. period. but the avengers are just so excited and happy that he can’t find it in him to sit out

that quickly results in thor and tony re-enacting very impressive Shouting Contests on each ride without fail

tony is screaming and clinging onto whoever is sitting next to him for dear life because he’s Petrified™️

and thor is screaming, because he’s having The Time Of His Life

he’s feeling the wind in his hair, his heart in his throat, and if he’s not shredding his vocal chords and flinging his limbs around, what’s the point of it all

after 20 different rides, tony is sick of pretending and just trudges through disneyland, the happiest place of earth, like it’s the sole cause of all suffering in the world

nat rejoins the group after she mysteriously disappeared for a moment and her hair is tossed, there’s ash on her face, and half of her clothes are wet

bruce, startled: “where have you been??”

nat, beaming: “there was a ride that spat fire from all sides and people jumped out of nowhere to scare you while the whole place was filled with hot water!!!”

bruce, concerned, zooms in on nat’s excited face

“nat i think you went to hell”

sam is big on merry-go-rounds so he drags everyone with him and while some one them first don’t seem to enjoy it, they change their mind once they see bucky’s little smile

(they go on at least ten more rounds until it starts to get dizzy)

a little girl trips over her princess gown and falls close to where steve is waiting in line, and steve immediately abandons his spot to rush over

bruce zooms in on them bc steve has always been kinda awkward with kids, but here he is, crouching down and comforting that little girl, and it’s so unashamedly soft and sweet

they can’t hear what steve is saying but she’s BEAMING now and even giving him a wobbly courtesy while he claps proudly

bruce turns the camera around and both he and clint are lowkey in TEARS like “why are we crying?? we didn’t even fall down” “i KNOW!!”

nat gets a hold of the camera and she’s on a mission to get the most embarrassing greatest footage possible

“bucky, go stand next to moana” “why?” “it’s moana go stand over there” “but i don’t know-“ “bucky.” *cue bucky, awkwardly standing next to moana while nat grins broadly*

when he’s back with the team, sam just stares at him blank-faced, clearly waiting for bucky to ask why he’s looking at him

eventually bucky caves in with a long sigh

“what” “i can’t believe you don’t know who moana of montunui is. she restored BALANCE to the WORLD. put some RESPECT ON HER NAME”

no one knows why but there’s footage of y/n, thor, tony, and loki strutting up and down in the middle of the lane in minnie mouse plush shoes like it’s a catwalk

sam, bucky, and nat are holding up their fingers to score them while steve is staring at them like he’s analysing their fighting stances

bruce, clint, and peter are standing on the sidelines and cheering them on as they should be

they end their day by digging into an unholy amount of fries that even steve can’t resist because they’ve been walking the whole day

a questionable amount of cotton candy also end ups in their possession and the footage of that is just mostly everyone trying out each other’s cones while the camera is passed between them

soon after, the avengers are back in their van to drive home and bruce zooms in on the row of seats where y/n has her head on peter’s shoulder while the others are also half-lounging on each other, and everyone is asleep <3

* * *

guess what i’m about to say?

stay hydrated pals

hc masterlist

[iguana-eyanna]

What Was Left Behind Pt. 11

Summary: After the events of the Sokovia Accords, Steve is now a fugitive to the U.S. government and has left you in the worst way possible. What happens when fate reunites the two again when you are most vulnerable?

Pairing: Steve Rogers x pregnant reader

Warning: hospitalization, problems within the pregnancy, Tony fighting Steve, mentions of possible character death

Sam and Steve were already heading to your house until they received Nat’s frantic call about you. Steve was driving the truck and never had this man break so many traffic laws (and crushed the steering wheel like the Hulk) in his life.

Once they got to the base, Steve didn’t even park as he just jumped out of the car to head to you. At the medbay, Steve saw Dr. Choi coming out of a closed curtain room.

“What happened?” he said worryingly. The doctor lowered her head down to find the right words. “I found out that the blood transfusion made her condition worse. The baby absorbed all of your enhanced DNA, making them grow at an immense rate. She needs to deliver soon.” she said.

Steve’s head was spinning, trying to wrap this information. “I don’t understand, I thought it was making her better. Won’t the baby be premature?” Choi’s face saddens as she has more bad news.

“The baby is practically full term, almost as if the fetus is overdue. Her body can’t sustain such strain. She must have been going through this pain for a while now. I suggest an all-natural birth as performing a c-section is too risky. We don’t know if either of them will survive such stress.”

Nat comes out of your room, looking at a very pale Steve “Hey big guy, let’s sit down… ey?” he nods his head as he slowly takes a seat while Nat wrapped up the conversation with Dr. Choi till she left for the nearest lab. Nat takes the seat next to Steve, unsure what to say.

“She was fine this morning. Why wouldn't she tell me something was wrong?" Steve questions, trying to grasp what's happening. Nat purses her lips, placing her hand on his shoulder for support. "Because she didn't want to lose you." she says in a faint tone.

Steve shoots his direction to her. "What do you mean?" he asks, flabbergasted. Nat looks down, trying to choose her next words carefully.

"Steve, she knew from the start that this pregnancy was going to be the death of her. She left the only life she's known to escape threats for your baby. Not only that, but she had to do it ALONE. Now that she's with you, she didn't want to throw away the limited time you guys had. I know y/n, she probably wanted to spend her last memories with the ones she cherished instead of wasting away on a hospital bed."

Steve stays silent, suffering inside with tears drenching his face. He faces in your direction, probably thinking you are scared for your life. Steve turns to nat as she nods her head for him to visit you, standing up and wiping his tears away to go to you.

You were in bad condition. It was as if all the color from your skin had drained away. The only color that appeared was the purple bruises that were forming at your exposed belly that was wrapped in belts to monitor the baby's heartbeat.

"Please don't look at me like that." you whispered as you struggled to get up from your lying position, trying to grab a thicker blanket to cover your shivering figure.

“Are you okay?” Steve asked as he grabbed the blanket and tucked you gently. “Believe me, I suffered worst.” you said as you straightened up a bit, rubbing your very big belly. He showed a face of guilt, but you just clutched his hand softly as he slowly sat at the edge of the left side of the bed.

He held your left hand, gliding his finger on your wedding ring. "Remember when I proposed to you?" he asks lightly. You begin to chuckle as you stare into his blue eyes.

"How could I forget? You were so nervous that we arrived late to the reservation. You were so persistent that we walked the block to a nearby diner and it started raining. I could tell you were visibly upset but I said 'the worst moments happen before the great ones.' Just like that, you knelt on one knee."

He smiles down in his lap, remembering his past frustration that melted away because of your reassuring words. "and I said that 'because of you, you changed everything in my life into something greater. I knew that the second I met you, I couldn't go a day without your smile or your laugh.' Then I took out the ring that I designed after your mother's locket."

You cup your hands around his face. "And it was the most beautiful ring." You both stay in your positions, enjoying the quiet that surrounds you.

"I need to ask you something..." you began as your eyes stung with tears. "If things go south, I need you to promise me that you do whatever it takes to save the baby. Alright?" you sniffed.

It was a hard pill to swallow as you two knew that you were probably not going to make it. But if one of you were to say it out loud, both your worlds would crumble.

He kisses your lips with such affirmation. “How can I say no to my best doll?” he huffed out, trying so hard not to cry again as he forced a small smile.

Your eyes start to flutter, causing Steve to help you in a comfortable position to sleep. He fixes your hair out of your face, then kneels down to kiss your temple. "I love you," he mutters softly before leaving the room.

Steve sees Sam and Nat in the waiting area, waiting for news on your well-being. "She's sleeping right now. Call me when she wakes up." Steve said sternly, walking like a man on a mission.

"Where are you going?" Nat screamed after Steve. He turns around briefly, looking straight at her in the eye.

"Like you said, y/n wants to be surrounded with the ones she cherishes. I'm going to uphold that wish."

Sam chases after Steve who is heading to a small aircraft. “Look man, I know what you’re going to do. I think you’re doing a noble thing but it’s a suicide mission. You don’t even know what’s going to happen to you.” Sam says as Steve turns on the monitor, hearing the engines roar.

“I have to die trying. If y/n doesn’t get this closure, she never will. I need to do this alone, but if I don’t make it… promise you’ll give her the necklace.” Steve says, holding out his hand to Sam. His friend’s face turns serious as he shakes the captain’s hand. “You do that yourself, Cap. You’re going back to your family in one piece.” Steve nods his head, prepping for the flight that can lead him to possible death.

---------------------------------------------------------------

“Boss, there’s an unknown aircraft that is heading this way.” FRIDAY alerted Tony as he was finishing dinner with Pepper. Tony gets up in cue as he presses a small button on his chest that surrounds his body with his armor. “Go and wait in the room. I’ll figure out what’s going on. I’ll have FRIDAY have you listen to what’s going to happen” Tony said in alert.

Pepper kissed him briefly and ran her way up the stairs. Stark flies out on the terrace and heads to the small aircraft. “Hey there, I don’t know if you noticed but you’re kinda trespassing on my property. I need to ask you to fly along wherever you came from before I call the local authorities and you know the drill.”

He backs up a bit as the aircraft slowly turns around to open the back ramp, revealing the last person he wants to see. “Tony… hear me out before you-” the man is cut off as Tony blasts him near his right shoulder, grazing into a wound. He falls back by the sudden impact, trying to tend the injury with pressure

Tony’s face is revealed to talk to his old friend. “You have ten seconds to explain what you’re doing here before I blast you in the sky.” Tony demanded as he raised his hand that was lighting up with energy. “It’s y/n!” Steve screamed out. Tony lowers his hand.

Tony’s face softens just from hearing your “Wha-what happened to her? Is she alright?” Steve slowly gets up, grunting lightly from his arm. “The doctor’s think she’s dying, Tony. They said she won’t be able to survive the birth. The only person she wants to have her dying moments in that delivery room is you.”

Tony is speechless, he suddenly looks back to see Pepper staring at them from the terrace. He could visibly see her crying and mouthing out “Go to her.” Without warning, Tony goes into the aircraft, now standing next to Steve as the door closed.

Steve is about to say something before getting interrupted by a phone call. Steve excuses himself to answer it. “Hey, I’m on my way. Tell -” his voice drowns out as he hears screaming on the phone. Steve tries to reply but the end goes silent.

“Steve, what’s going on?” Tony asks in a concerned tone. Steve turns to Tony as his face turned ghostly white.

“That was Natasha… y/n is going into labor.”

-----------------------------------------------

Taglist: @austynparksandpizza @bluemoon-icecream @castellandiangelo @coldmuffinpartycloud @denise-was-here @emmy626 @fandom-life-12 @findthebeautyinbreakdowns @friyak1 @httphiddlestan @ihearthockeyy @ilovetaquitosmmmm @jessyballet @jordynhouston @kalopsia-flaneur @lharrietg @lharrietg @lou-lou26 @lou-lou26ydia223 @lydia214 @marantha @marquisofmelis @rhapsodic-memories @scxrlettlove @smyfmj @supraveng @thatblondebrownie @turtlepad @youdidnotseethisluv

[lesbian-deadpool]

Happy Little Accidents

Part Two: Hope

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Words: 2,317

Warnings: I don’t think there is any?? Crying/light angst, adoption process, stress??

Request: Yes

Summary: You work on getting you little girl back. And hope that it’s successful.

A/N: It’s been a long time coming, I haven’t proof read it or anything (but when do I ever? Lol), so bare that in mind.

Ko-Fi

(Not My GIF)

***

Being a pair of Avengers and going through the adoption process was so very complicated.

On one hand, you were well known across the globe. Household names.

But on the other. You were dangerous people, with violent past's -and futures to come- with more enemies than you could count. Some of which you didn't even know existed. And who in their right minds would ever let a child into that environment? People have been turned down for much less.

However.

You were basically celebrity's. And as everyone knows, that comes with a lot of special treatment. Even if you and Natasha -And most of, if not all of your team- denied to use any of it. But in this case? For little Hope? You would do whatever you had to.

So, it was thanks to that, that you were even allowed to be considered for adoption.

And there was so much work that had to be done.

Papers to sign, meetings to attend, visits and screenings every which way. And so much more.

It was a long and tedious journey. And you still had a long way to go.

Right now, you had to watch as someone picked apart your home -once again- to make sure it was okay for your little girl to come home. Where she belongs.

You had moved not too long ago, maybe a little over two months, and in that time, it had been looked at three times. Which really made it seem like you weren't doing anything, in their eyes, considering you were busy working and renovating the whole place out at the same time.

The day after you and Natasha had to say goodbye to Hope, you knew that you had to get a bigger place than the apartment you had both shared. And began looking for new homes the very same day.

Tony's help wasn't needed, you had plenty of money, but he insisted. So when you two found a townhouse that you absolutely adored, not too far from SHIELD HQ -where you both now worked most of the time. As when Fury found out that you were both to be adopting Hope- or trying to at least, the man lowered your hours and took you off missions altogether. Just until you were all settled-, the billionaire bought it for you, the moment he got wind of it.

You were moved in three days later. Deciding to work on the house while you lived there.

"So, where would the child be sleeping?" Your caseworker asked.

"Oh, right this way," you said, leading her down the hall to the newly decorated bedroom. Natasha following behind.

You gestured to the light pink, yet slightly sparse room. "This is it."

"We still have to pick up some of the furniture. But we've been waiting for the room to be decorated first," Natasha said, excusing the bare room.

"Yeah, Hope's not going to sleep on a stack of paint cans," you tried to joke. To which you barely got a smile from your caseworker, Stephany Halla.

"It look's decorated to me?"

"Oh." Natasha smiled. "We're having a friend of ours paint a mural or two on the walls."

"Yeah, Hope has a few favourite Avengers, so he's gonna paint them. And he's been learning how to draw cartoon characters for it, too."

"He's actually trying to adopt the two kids he took in with his fiance."

"Steve Rogers?" Stephany asked.

"That's the guy," you said, nodding along with Natasha.

"I've seen him around the office," She spoke again a few moments later. "So, when are you planning on getting the furniture for the room?"

"Hopefully, within a month," Natasha replied, "But with our and Steve's schedules, things are up in the air."

It was a difficult start to the adoption process, more so than it was now. Considering that the children legally didn't exist to the world. So, everything was so confusing and thrown up into the air while waiting for the kids to be registered.

Almost like you didn't know whether you were coming or going. Everything stuck in limbo as you waited to see what kind of adoption process you would have to take. And even with all of your connections in the world, you were still left in the dark.

There was the fact that the kids were found overseas in Romania, so they could be considered Romanian. And so, you would have to go through international adoption.

However, none of the children have birth parents and were brought to America because you had rescued them. So, some would say they could be considered immigrants.

Nothing like this had ever happened before.

Babies that had been grown in a lab and saved from a further torturous life, that now needed legalization in the world's eyes.

You and Natasha had to watch as Government's essentially fought over these children you saved. Over the same child, you clothed and fed. The one you played games with and bonded with the little girl you grew to love and consider your own.

So, as the world fought for the right of your child, your little Hope, you waited. Just wishing and wanting to bring your daughter home.

But, luckily for you, the children were now classed as American citizens. Which made it ten times easier for you to adopt than it would otherwise.

Which is honestly just crazy to you, considering just how intensely hard this is.

There were times you didn't believe you could ever adopt your child.

On more than one occasion, Natasha would come to you, saddened to her core, because she truly believed that you would never have Hope in your family.

It was so fucking hard.

Natasha had rolled over one night after you two had -once again- gone through the rules and regulations of adopting. Uttering how you were, "Never going to get her back" that there was "Juts no way, they will let us adopt", as she cried into your arms.

But still, the process continued.

"Well, your home seems to be in good standing. So for. But I advise you to get the furniture for the child's room as soon as possible," Stephane commented as she began packing up her belongings and paperwork.

"Oh, we know."

"Steve did say that he was going to start work on it in the next few days," Natasha added, nodding along with you.

"Well, that's is good news." Stephane smiled. "I'll see you at our next meeting with Hope."

Natasha sighed happily. "We can't wait."

"Well, goodbye then."

You whished the dirty-blonde woman farewell, closing the door behind her.

"We get to see our daughter in a couple of weeks," your red-headed girlfriend said excitedly, dancing from side to side out of pure happiness. Her bright smile filling your soul with warmth, that travelled all the way into your bones.

You matched her emotions, hands coming to curve around her shoulder blades and pulling her close to you.

"I know, Honey. It's been so long since we've seen her. And we're gonna bring her home one day."

That was all you could say before your mouth was covered, with the crushing feeling of Natasha's plump lips against yours.

***

Nerves rattled through you, but you hadn't the faintest idea why, considering this wasn't the first time you had seen Hope. However, it had been one of the first times you were able to see her since the day she was taken away from you.

If you thought you were bad.

Natasha was far worse.

She was practically shaking. From nerves or excitement, you didn't know. But you had a good inkling to think that it was both.

You had done so much for this child in the short span of time you had known her.

And yet, you couldn't imagine your life any other way. The thought of how your life had been that time last year.

No Hope. Surrounded by missions and work. Every free moment you had was spent with Natasha, and the rag-tag group of hero's you had grown to call your family.

It all seemed so foreign now.

Like a past life.

'Wow', you thought, 'Maybe I really am growing up'.

A part of you was afraid that the girl you thought of as your daughter wouldn't recognise you or your []. And would be scared of the two strangers that had just barged their way into her life. Breaking both of your heart's.

"Mommy! Mommy!"

Was the thing that greeted you, as soon as the door had swung open. Making you realise just how stupid your train of thought really was.

Natasha rushed forward, scooping the girl up into her arms, with a bright smile upon both of their faces.

"So, I still don't get a name, huh?" you joked, walking over to the reuniting girls.

Brushing a hand over Hope's short hair. Grinning when she reached her arms towards you, ready to give you a hug of your own, which you gratefully accepted.

"Don't worry," Natasha said, rubbing Hope's back as she hugged you, "You'll get a name soon."

"I better. Or else I'm gonna have ta tickle it out of her."

Hope's squeals reached your ears as you threateningly poked her side with your fingers.

"Here, baby. I'll save you," Natasha called, pulling the giggling girl from your arms. Both of them watching as you pulled your hand's in front of your face, wiggling the fingers almost spookily as them. The girls turned to each other, "They're silly."

Then they walked away.

With you calling after them.

"Hey! I may be silly, but-... I have no rebuttal!"

Natasha laughed at this, then greeted the care worker that was patiently waiting for you both. The one that you had only just noticed.

"Hello, Stephany," Natasha said in greeting, shaking the woman's hand. You following suit.

"Hey. How have you two been?"

"Missing this little one," Natasha replied, bouncing the girl on her waist. Receiving fun-filled giggles in return.

"I bet you have. And you, Y/N?"

"Exhausted," you told her honestly, "With moving house and everything, I just want to have Hope home, then sleep for a week."

The care worker laughed at that.

"Let's hope that that's sooner rather than later, then."

Your few hour's with Hope passed faster than you ever could have imagined. You played with blocks, ate lunch, "helped" Hope colour in her haphazardly filled colouring book. You absolutely adored the way her eyes lit up, and she started dancing and flailing her arms when she saw bubbles for the first time. You almost couldn't continue blowing them because of your bright smile.

And now you were watching as Natasha spoke gently to the little girl. Hope's hand's resting on the red-heads cheeks, watching her mother with such concentrating eyes.

You adored your little family.

You just wished you could have them all home.

'One day', you thought, 'one day'.

Saying goodbye was one of the hardest things you've ever had to do.

Just like the last time.

And the time before that.

And the time before that.

And the one before that.

It just got harder and harder each and every time you did this.

Hope was crying. And so was Natasha, albeit silently, as she tried to console the toddler.

"I know, my little love, I know-"

"Mommy!" Hope cried.

"I know, angel. We'll be back before you know it, I promise."

"Mommy!"

"I know."

Once in the car, you let your tears fall, Natasha sobbing in the seat beside you.

"I don't think I can keep on doing this anymore," you admitted. Deciding it was best you explained when Natasha turned to look at you, an incredulous look upon her face, "Keep on seeing her, and not being able to bring her home."

"We'll get there," your [] reached over the centre console to squeeze your hand, "We will. You're the one who's always saying that we've got to take after her namesake and have hope."

"But it almost seems endless, Nat."

"I know, honey." She wetly kissed your tear-stained cheek. Her lips, brushing against it as she continued, "We'll bring her home. I just know it."

"I hope you're right."

***

She was right.

Of course, she was right.

She was Natasha Romanoff, after all.

It was like she just had this inability to be wrong.

But in this case? You were so fucking happy about that.

Granted it had taken a while longer -a good eight months- but finally, you were here.

Exiting the courthouse with Hope in your arms, and Natasha by your side. Bright smiles upon all of your faces, about to take the little girl- Your daughter home.

You would never have to say goodbye to her, like that, ever again.

She was legally a part of your family now. And nothing would ever change that.

"Ready to go home, sweetpea?" Natasha asked the beaming girl.

"I don't know about you," you started, "But I think this deserves celebratory ice cream."

"I think you just want ice cream before dinner."

You gave an overdramatic gasp.

"Why I would never! How dare you accuse me of such a thing?"

Natasha laughed at your antics but nonetheless nodded her head.

"I agree. This does deserve celebratory ice cream."

"Yes!" you exclaimed happily to Hope, your free arm raising above your head in victory, making the girl copy you by raising both of her arms.

She was already taking after you.

Your red-headed girlfriend sighed dreamily after you, as you chanted, "Ice cream! Ice cream! Ice cream!" On your way to the car.

She couldn't remember a time where she was this happy.

It had been a long time since then.

And Natasha just couldn't wait to see what the rest of her life would bring with the two of you now by her side.

***

Permanent Tag List: 

@imnotasuperhero, @veteranwerewolf95, @natasha-danvers, @marvelfansince08love, @higherfurther-romanova, @lesbian-x-blackwidow, @sestra-inestro, @thelastavenger-3000, @mixed-fandom-mess,

SFW Tag list: 

@peggycarter-steverogers, @natalia-quinzel,

[justkending]

The Number One Rule. Chapter 26.

Summary: Y/N has always been seen as “Steve’s rambunctious sister.” However, she grew up, graduated, and moved to London to study abroad for 4 years and get her bachelor's degree. The girl that returns looks nothing like the teenager that left, but don’t worry the attitude is still there and stronger than ever. What’s to come of the two grown adults that used to push each other's buttons, but now have a lot more in common than they’ve ever realized.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Y/N Rogers (Steve’s little sister)

Word Count: 3800+

A/N: Ladies and Gentlemen. This is the last chapter. I know I say it almost every time, but I truly think this is one of my personal favorite top stories. At LEAST in the top 3. Now it is time for me to go through and read it all the way through and revise where I can. I’m so glad you all loved it as much as me and I am happy to say, I am already working on a new series!! And yes, it is a Bucky x Reader. I just can’t seem to stray from them lately. His character is stuck on my brain and I’m not mad. Anyway, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you once again for all your love and support with this one! I loved each and every single comment and thought thrown my way:) Also, BONUS, I will probably write a one-shot explaining the Bumble Bee nickname, since I was never able to work it into this... If not that, maybe a prologue... I don’t know we shall see;) With that being said, enjoy this ending and let me know how your heart feels after!!

Chapter Twenty-Six:

A whole year had passed. Today marked the 1 year of Y/N and Bucky finally coming together after all this time of being friends and making it official as two people who loved each other deeply.

To give you a quick update in the time passed…

Steve and Peggy went on a first date after she came back for a second time and made her move to New York permanent. He had been sweating buckets while getting ready and Y/N and Bucky coached him from the couch as he came in and out of his room trying on multiple outfits for the night. 

Y/N had suggested taking her to some different places around Manhattan, kind of like the scavengers hunt Bucky did for their first date. But instead of knowing the different places, Peggy really hadn’t known the city at all, so it was more so a tour guide kind of date. 

It was a simple and solid plan. However, Steve wasn’t used to the confidence that Peggy tended to give off. Did he admire it and love it? Yes, no doubt. Did it scare him at times, or more so intimidate him? Yes, again. 

So after some light teasing from his little sister, she gave him some tips to impress her best friend, as well as, reassured him she was a sweet girl on the inside. Just someone who has lived in a man's world a little too long and has to put up a front of intimidation. Once you get past that, you have a loyal and kind person to bond with. 

Needless to say, the date went off without a hitch and the two were now celebrating two strong months of dating. 

Becca had finished up college and was already secured in a job as a child psychologist at a new hospital in upstate New York. She was a little further away now, but that didn’t stop her from coming and visiting. It just so happened that her new boyfriend lived down the hall from Y/N. If you know, you know. 

His name was Thor and after some light flirting every other time she came to visit Y/N, she asked him on a date which he accepted. They were on the route of 3 months of dating now. He had joined the friend group to an extent and got along great with the whole crew. 

Wanda and Vis’s boys were growing up faster than light itself and would be about 6 months soon. After Bucky and Y/N’s last time babysitting, they were recruited a few more times since they did so great with them. They may have been thrown for a whirlwind the first time around, but they were a lot easier the next few date nights. 

Nat and Clint had gotten married last month. They were coming back from their belated honeymoon now in Budapest. The wedding was beautiful and everyone being together all at once again, was a joy and it showed just how much the group of friends was growing. Each of them hitting a new and different stage in life. 

Back to the present...

Bucky had planned a one year anniversary date for him and Y/N. One that was bound to be unforgettable. 

Y/N asked if they could keep it simple with just a picnic in the park since it was going to be cold soon in New York, and she wanted to soak up the last bit of summer that was left. 

“Ok, you have everything set for the night?” Steve asked as Bucky buttoned the cuff to his button up. 

“I hope so. I go to pick up Y/N in 10 minutes,” Bucky sighed in nervousness. 

“Hey, don’t worry about it man. You know it’ll all work out how it’s supposed to,” Steve chuckled, coming over and patting his friends shoulder in reassurance. “Plus, you had Peggy and I help you plan this out. No way it could go wrong with our expertise.”

“You say that, but watch me slip up somewhere,” Bucky mumbled, straightening his clothes. 

“You’re putting nerves where they aren’t needed. Stop thinking worst case scenario,” Steve groaned, walking out the bedroom door with Bucky behind. “What would Y/N say about that?”

“That it’s premature and won’t do me any good to think negatively,” he muttered, knowing the exact words to come from the optimist. 

“Exactly. So stop stressing and go with the flow of things. Nothing good is going to come out of you waiting for the worst thing to happen tonight,” Steve shook his head. 

“It’s supposed to be a night to remember. Not a night to dread,” Peggy interrupted as she came to Steve’s side with a little note in hand she saw on the counter in a spot it may have been easily lost. “Here, you may want this though if you do want it to go well.”

“Right, thanks,” Bucky nodded quickly, taking the item. 

“You guys will meet us there right? Everyone else ready too?” Bucky asked.

“Everyone else is ready. You’ll be fine Buck,” Steve laughed again. “You sound like me the night I took this gal out.”

“Is that so?” Peggy smirked, leaning more into Steve’s side as he wrapped an arm around her.

“Yeah, he’s a little worse than I was, but he’s doing something a little bigger than a simple date,” Steve winked to Bucky. The brunette sent him an eyeroll.

Peggy looked down at her watch and gasped. “You need to get going, Bucky. She’ll be expecting you any minute,” Peggy moved to push him out the door with a bouquet of flowers in her hand to give him. 

_______________

Bucky had made it to Y/N’s apartment in perfect timing, but found himself faltering at the door. His whole body was made up of nerves at that moment. He couldn’t seem to shake them no matter what he told himself. 

Lucky for him, all it took was Y/N opening the door and sending him that sweet smile accented with one of her simple little dresses, that made those nerves dissipate. 

“You look great,” he said with a lovestruck school boy and sappy smile. 

“Thanks B,” she blushed, scrunching her shoulders in a bashful way. “Here, come in for a second before we leave,” she motioned him in as he followed. “I need to put on a pair of earrings and I’ll be set.” She stood on her toes giving him a gentle kiss to the lips. 

Before she could walk off, he put the flowers between them and smiled. 

“For you as always,” he winked. 

“And everytime, it makes me happier and happier,” she winked back, giving him a bonus kiss. “I actually bought a new vase since I’m lucky enough to get gifted with them everytime we go on a date. Want to put those in it?” she asked as she started walking to her bathroom.

“Hard not to give a pretty girl flowers every chance you get,” he noted, going into the kitchen where the new vase sat. “That plus, I know you like the greenery.”

“It makes me very happy,” she smiled, coming back in with her hands working to put the last pair of earrings on. “Ok, I’m all ready handsome. Shall we?”

“I would love nothing more,” he smiled back offering his arm. 

“I like this little routine we have,” she giggled as they walked to the door. 

“I can agree,” he nodded, pressing his lips to her temple before they left the building. 

__________________

They started off with a quick stop to Winnie’s shop, as Bucky said he had a gift there for them to pick up. 

Winnie was all dressed up and Bucky’s dad and Becca were also there. 

“Well, you guys look all spiffy,” Y/N noted, walking in the doors where the group was patiently waiting for the couple. Becca and Winnie in dresses and Bucky’s dad, George, in a nice button up like his son. “You're not by chance celebrating an anniversary like us, are you?” Y/N teased still locked into Bucky’s arm. 

“We can celebrate yours a little with you too, can’t we?” Winnie asked, going in for a hug. 

“The more the merrier,” Y/N replied cheerfully.

“No, no. We wouldn’t intrude on your anniversary date,” Becca nodded off. “However, we did want to give you guys a gift before we go off to dinner. We’re meeting Thor to eat soon.”

“Oh, I see. Boyfriend’s meeting the parents?” 

“We’ve already met him and we enjoy him,” Winnie waved off. “Plus, we have Bucky and yours sign of approval, so that goes a long way too.”

“These are the facts,” Bucky agreed. “Uh, Mom, we do have to go to the next stop I have planned though, so…” Bucky said with a raise of his eyebrow in a hinting manner. 

“Right, right! I won’t keep you long I promise!” Winnie rushed to the counter where a book and a picnic basket was sitting. “Ok, here you go, but don’t open that book until after dinner,” she warned Y/N as she handed it off to Bucky for safe keeping. “It has another little gift in it I don’t want to spoil.”

“In that case, I’ll let Bucky hold onto it then. You know I can’t help opening a book if it’s sitting right in front of me,” Y/N chuckled. The rest of the crew laughed with her. 

“Ok, Ma, Dad, Sis,” Bucky waved off redirecting the two to the door. “We’ll see you guys later.”

“Yeah, later!” Becca said with an odd tone. One that showed she knew something, but Y/N didn’t know what. 

______________

They made it to the park where Bucky had the whole nine-yards of a pinterest perfect picnic planned. His mom had packed a light meal, while the rest of the basket held a blanket, wine glasses, and other little decorations to make the set up special. 

“Look at you being oh so the romantic,” Y/N noted once they had set everything out. “This is impressive.”

“I would say I did it all, but Becca helped with the decorations aspect of it,” Bucky chuckled as he set up some of the food. 

The two sat and ate for a little, watching the motions of the park play in front of them as they talked about their day and any other thoughts that came to mind. They were facing straight west, so the sun would be setting right in front of them when the time came. And it was coming soon as they finished up their meal. 

“Ok, present time,” Y/N noted, turning to her purse and pulling out something from it. The gift was wrapped in a little brown wrapping paper with a twine string around it. “Open mine first because I can’t wait to see your reaction.”

Bucky chuckled at her childlike excitement and took the present as he sat up from where he was laying on his side. Carefully not to disrupt her precise wrapping, he undid the bow and peeled away the brown wrap around the box. Taking off the lid, inside sat two little slips of paper that looked like tickets. 

He quirked an eyebrow confused at what they could be, and when he turned them over and looked closer, he saw they were plane tickets. 

“Two tickets to… Rome?” Bucky gasped. “Y/N-”

“I wanted to show you everything I got to experience. Italy, Verona, Venice, and all,” she smiled softly, leaning closer to him. Her eyes never broke away from his face.

“Y/N, this is…” He smiled down at the paper before bringing his eyes up slowly to meet hers. “I would love nothing more than to experience that all through your eyes.”

Y/N blushed hard and the two leaned forward in sync to kiss. 

“I’m glad you like it. But I want you to see it in your own way, I’m just happy to be your tour guide,” she smiled harder. Their noses were practically still touching. 

“Either way, it’ll be an experience I’ll be counting down for,” he said, leaning in for one more kiss. 

When he pulled back he noticed the sun was settling down with the perfect glow. It was now or never…

“Ok, I guess it’s my turn for the gifts,” he said, taking in a deep breath. “It’s actually in the book.” He turned around grabbing the book his mother had handed off to him earlier, and carefully opened the cover. “This one’s long overdue, but it’s one that I’m starting to realize may have been meant for this specific time in our lives anyway.”

Handing over an old letter, she noticed it had changed colors from small stains and wear of when it was originally written. She was confused some by the details of the packaging, but when she saw it was addressed to her on the front, she picked up on what it was. 

The address and her name was that of her childhood home, but what gave away it’s age, was the return address of where Bucky was stationed all those years back when he was in the army. 

“Buck,” she said softly. 

“I wrote it way back when. Shortly after I realized that you were someone I…” He paused trying to find his wording. “Well, when I realized you were the kind of person I would want to spend the rest of my life with.”

Y/N looked up from the letter she was holding ever so delicately in her hand. Scared she would damage the antique writing. 

“You don’t have to read it now, but to sum it up, I never sent it because I knew, at least I thought I knew,” he chuckled under his breath looking down at it. “I could never deserve someone like you. You were always so kind and wise when I was going through my mess of life overseas. You had things of your own that you were working through, and yet you put it aside for me when I felt like I was alone and drowning in a foreign home.” 

He closed his eyes, picturing all the times he wanted to give up. When he wanted to call it quits after the things he saw, the things he did. It killed him on the inside. Mentally, emotionally, he didn’t hold strong like he thought he would be able to. 

“The only thing that kept me sane over there and gave me hope, was receiving letters from you. I know I teased you to begin with, but as time went on, your words, your advice, and your love that you somehow were able to ship overseas to me with just ink on a paper, kept me alive. Kept me from giving up.”

He looked up finally and saw tears in Y/N’s eyes. The look on her face was heartbreaking yet so loving all at once. It showed how she hated hearing just how lost Bucky was, but also showed just how grateful he was there. He was there now and it was partially because of their letters to each other. More than she could ever imagine though. 

She believed she may have played a role, but it was Bucky himself that held strong. He was the one who pushed through in those hardships and made the effort to keep going on. Not her. But to him, she was the angel on his shoulder keeping him from sinking in times where the waves were just too strong to push back on. 

“I wrote out all my feeling and thoughts in that letter. I think it’s like five pages,” he said in a single laugh. “But I never sent it.”

“Why?” was all she breathed out and he moved his hand to wipe the stray tear off her cheek. His hand staying there and running over the bone it had landed on. She leaned into the touch like it would be her last time feeling it. 

“I didn’t deserve you. Hell, I’m still not sure I do, but I’m going to make damn sure that I spend every waking hour of my life, every minute, doing my best to get there.”

There was a pause as she took his hand and moved closer to him, their foreheads pressed to the other. 

“Bucky you deserve everything and more in this world,” she said softly. “Don’t ever think you should have anything less than that.”

“I know, doll. And it’s because of you I realize I can strive for it all,” he sighed, breathing in her presence. 

They stayed like that for a while. Taking in the moment. Taking in the air. Taking in the wholesome and doting atmosphere. 

It wasn’t until the lights started to get low, Bucky realized he would run out of time for his next gift soon. 

“Y/N, I have one more thing to give you,” Bucky sighed, nervously pulling back and grabbing the book again. “Now, I know this is a cheesy way to do this, but I couldn’t think of a better way,” he chuckled lightly. 

He grabbed her hand and helped her stand. The sun now on the horizon giving the perfect golden shine to everything around them. 

When she stood with him, he brought the book in between them. 

“Ok, open it carefully to page 214,” he nodded, handing her the book. 

She sent him a confused look, but followed the directions anyway. Like asked, she gently flipped the books from the beginning before she reached said number. Just as she pulled back page 213, right in the middle of the book, the pages stopped lifting and inside was a little cut out square that held a small ring. One with a beautiful white shining stone in the middle, encrusted by a gold intricate design. 

“Oh, my-” she didn’t even finish the sentence as she looked down a the ring. Her grip on the book tightening as her other hand came up to cover her mouth. 

Bucky let out a small nervous chuckle at the reaction before slowly taking out the ring and bending to one knee. The book still in her hand, she gasped again watching Bucky move down. 

“Y/N Josephine Rogers,” he started with the brightest smile on his face. “I would be nothing but forever grateful if you allowed a guy like me, to have you as my wife.”

She didn’t answer right away as she was clearly in awe and still processing the last 20 seconds of what just happened. The only thing breaking her out of her shock, was the sound of Bucky laughing again.

“Is that a yes, or am I indeed just making a fool of myself?” he said with a scrunch of his nose.

“No! Oh, my God, yes! Yes, yes, yes! A thousand times yes Bucky!” she jumped up and down before wrapping her arms around his neck and tackling him to the ground. 

He let out an, ‘oof’ sound as he caught them from the fall and held tightly to the ring not to lose it. He was now on his back and she was laying on top of him giggling and squeezing him in excitement. 

“Ok, good. I was worried I might have read the signals you were giving me wrong,” he joked. 

“You’re a dork,” she laughed, pulling and looking at him lovingly before going in for the kiss of all kisses. 

They were quickly pulled away from it when cheers and whistles started going off around them. 

Y/N looked up from where they were laying on top of the other and noticed herds of people they knew coming out from random parts of the park smiling and whooping in elation. 

“Is that-?” she started, once again taken aback. 

“Everyone? Yeah. They were kinda in on it,” Bucky chuckled. “Hey, did you get that last part?” he shouted toward Nat who was coming around a tree with Clint and a professional camera in hand.

“Oh, it was the best picture of them all I’m pretty sure,” she smirked. 

“You little stinker,” Y/N scoffed, pushing off of him to sit up more. “How in the world did you pull this all together?”

Wanda, Vis, and the twins were there. Steve had his arm around Peggy with Sam next to them and Sarah next to Steve. Winnie, George, Becca, and Thor were all there too smiling and laughing. Everyone was there. The whole crew was apart of the moment. 

“It was easy. I told them I was asking the girl of my dreams to marry me, and they asked when and where. Not much convincing on my part,” he answered, offering her his hand as they stood back up. 

“You guys,” Y/N gushed, wrapping her arms around Bucky’s waist, which he gladly wrapped his arm around her. “This is too sweet.”

“Nothing sweeter than you giving Bucky a run for his money with that delayed answer,” Sam teased. 

“Back off, punk,” Bucky rolled his eyes, pulling her closer to him as if any second she’d change her mind. 

“I will say, he did catch me off guard,” Y/N laughed in response. 

“Oh, my sweet girl is getting married! And to the sweetest boy a mom can hope for,” Sarah interrupted, instantly running to her daughter and almost tackling her like she had Bucky. 

“Mom!” Y/N laughed, catching her balance. 

The next 15 minutes went on like that as the sun set behind them, giving off the final glows of the evening. 

Sarah and Winnie blubbering on about how their little boy and little girl were going to be husband and wife. Then of course going on and on in excitement for the wedding details of it all. At that point they pushed them off for George and Becca to handle as they talked with everyone else. 

Wanda and Vis saying how Billy and Tommy would be glad to be a part of the wedding if they needed them to. Nat gave Y/N little details and advice with planning the party and also offering to lend a hand where it was needed since she just got done with her own.

Then Steve and Peggy also congratulate them and express their excitement for all that was to come for the couple, and all the fun double dates they would/ already had been taking apart in. 

Once it got dark, Steve announced to the crew the little celebration they had set up at Roger's home for an after party of the engagement. Everyone agreed they would meet there. 

So as Y/N and Bucky grabbed their things and started walking to the car, Y/N stopped him as he was about to close the car door for her. 

“Hey,” she turned where she was standing on the sidewalk. Bucky just inches from her. 

“Hey,” he responded with a goofy grin. 

“I love you so so much. You know that right?”

“I know Y/N. And I love you so so much too, doll.”

Thank you so much for reading!! Keep an eye out for a possible one-shot/ prologue of this story;)

The Number One Rule (TNOR) Taglist:

@shadowolf993​ @semistablecentenarian​ @hello-i-am-daydreaming​ @jessyballet​  @emmabarnes​ @kmuir1​ @beautifulrare4leafclover​ @thefallenbibliophilequote​ @l0ve-0f-my-life​  @shawnie--jo​–jojo  @asoftie4bucky​ @katiaw2​ @sheeple​ @sznri​ @bxtchboy69​ @taliarosej00​ @bakugouswh0r3​ @stopjustlovethemcu​ @babemendesbarnes​ @jenniereiji​ @taliarosej00​ @loveyou5everr​ @natdrunk​ @im-a-light-child​ @stucky-my-ship​ @fairykimseok​ @alexfms97​ @awkwardnesshabitat​

My Lovelies forever:

@natura1phenomenon @lauravicente @kakakatey @traceyaudette @notyourtypicalrose  @laneygthememequeen @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @sandlee44 @thorne93 @thefaithfulwriter @essie1876 @greyeyedsmile14 @capsiclehan  @xostephanie @averyrogers83 @awesomenursingstudent @gh0stgurl @cs-please @carls1022 @jjlevin @rainbowkisses31 @carls1022 @anise-d-castle6 @deannotmoose @their-bibliophile @kitkatd7 @willowbleedsonpaper @mariaenchanted @snffbeebee @couldabeenamermaid @rebekahdawkins @alyispunk​ @valsworldofcreativity​

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[avengerscompound]

Until the End of the World - 18

Until the End of the World: A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x F!Reader

Word Count:  2763

Rating:  E

Warnings: pregnancy, labor, induction without consent, forced medical proceedures, mentions of forced pregnancy, action, violence, death

Synopsis: Four years after Steve and Bucky got to the bottom of the HYDRA conspiracy that had led to you and your son being hunted for the first three years of his life, you, Bucky, and Steve have carved out a nice life together.  Things are calm and you feel like a family unit.  When Geo starts calling Bucky and Steve ‘dad’, a decision is made to try and add to your family.

Things aren’t as calm as they seem.  When your pregnancy hits the papers, HYDRA rears its head once again, and Steve and Bucky need to track you down to protect the family they had created

Chapter 18

You had sent Geo back to his bed with his instructions.  You didn’t think you could get out of here with him without getting caught.  Yes, he could open all the doors for you, but there were still guards, and you had no idea where you were.  The risk was just too high.  Not to mention, that if Viper had been telling the truth, there were other people here who were being experimented on again.  If you could get Steve, Bucky, and the rest of the Avengers here, then that was the best option for everyone. You hoped Geo could do as you asked; if you could send a message to the tower - however primitive it was - you trusted that FRIDAY could work out that it was Geo sending it.

You slept badly.  The bench was hard and uncomfortable, and they had provided no blankets or pillows.  That teamed with the stress of you and Geo being captured, and how close you were to your due date, you were uncomfortable and highly wound.  Even with the lack of sleep, a group of HYDRA guards still managed to startle you awake the following day.

They had no concern about treating you gently in your heavily pregnant state.  They didn’t even shake you awake, so much as march into the room, grab your arm, and drag you out of bed and down the hall.  You had trouble walking and you stumbled down the bright white hall as they dragged you along with them.

You were brought to a room with a hospital bed and a lot of medical equipment, as well as a sterile-looking sofa chair and a clear plastic bassinet and incubator.  It looked like a delivery room in a hospital that cared nothing for the comfort of the mother.  Viper was waiting there with a group of medical staff dressed in green scrubs.

“What’s going on?  Where’s Geo?”  You asked.

“Geo is safe,” Viper assured you.  “And we’ve decided we’re going to induce labor.  Staying in this location is risky, so within the week we’re going to move you.  We figured if we move you and your children separately, you’ll be less likely to try and draw attention to yourself when we inevitably see other people.”

“I’m not due yet,” you argued. 

“It’s not ideal, I know,” Viper said as the guards muscled you onto the bed and strapped you down.  “But it’s close enough.  We did consider just cutting that little thing out of you, but they said this way would be safest.  Don’t make me change my mind.”

One of the medical staff inserted a cannula into your arm and another began doing an internal examination as two of the guards held your legs apart.  You tried to fight them, but there were just too many of them.

“Don’t worry though, dear,” Viper said.  “We decided to help keep you calm you’re going to have an old friend here to help you with your labor.  A birthing partner.  That’s what they call them isn’t it?”

You looked at her wild-eyed, completely confused, and panicked.  You had no idea why she was doing this.  If they really wanted the baby out, a c-section would be quicker.  Though you guessed, with the surgical recovery time it would be harder to move you unnoticed.  The whole thing just felt like mind games though.  Like she was trying to show you exactly what kind of control she had over you, both your mind and your body.

There was a pop and a gush of water between your legs as the doctor broke your waters and you began to cry.  “Why are you doing this to me?”

She patted your cheek.  “Consider it your payment for evading us for so long, and destroying my whole operation,” she said.  “Or at least a down payment.  I don’t plan to make anything easy for you.”

She tapped your cheek again and strode to the door.  Just as she reached it, she turned and looked at one of the doctors.  “If she behaves, you can let her up, but if she does anything to mess with this labor, strap her down again.”

“Yes, Madame HYDRA,” he said, saluting.

She left the room and the doctors went back to fussing around you.  They put monitors on you that seemed to track both yours and the baby’s heart rate.  When they seemed to be done most left without a word.  One doctor remained.  He had a sharp face and dead eyes.  “If I let you up, will you behave?”  He asked.  “I warn you, if you take any of this off, you’re risking the life of that baby.”

You nodded.  “I’ll behave,” you agreed.

Your restraints were unfastened.  There are guards at the door, not that you can get out,” he said.  “And you are being monitored on cameras all over the room.  Behave and we’ll be in to check on you regularly.” 

As he left a woman was led in.  She looked like a wild animal that had been caught in a trap.  Her hair was lank and didn’t look like it had been brushed in weeks and her hollow eyes looked around wildly.  She was wearing a simple floral nightgown and in her arms was an infant that couldn’t have been more than a few days old.  It took you a moment to realize you knew her.  She had been in the medical trials back when you were in college.  “Azi?”  You said.

She turned to look at you startled, furrowing her brow as she assessed you.  “Oh my god,” she said and rushed to your side.  “Oh my god!  What are you doing here? I didn’t know they had you too.”

“How long have you been here, Azi?”  You asked.

She shook her head.  “I don’t know.  A long time. I don’t know.  They came right after the trial ended.  I wasn’t pregnant then.  Now I have a baby.  They move us.”

“Oh my god,” you said, wrapping your arm around her.  “Come, sit down.”

You led her to the sofa chair and she sat, cradling the baby.  It fussed a little but fell back to sleep as its mother held it close.  “Azi, what did they do to you?”

“They took me… and some of the others in the test,” she said.  “They’re all dead now…” her eyes snapped up to you.

“They’ve been chasing me.  This is all my fault,” you said.  A dull pain throbbed out from your back and sides, and you winced and gripped the IV stand.  Azi looked up at you alarmed.

“Are you in labor?”  She asked.

You nodded.  “They just induced me.”

“Did they… did they …?”  She asked.

You shook your head.  “No.  No… I think they were waiting.  I’ve been living with someone.  Some men.  I think they were waiting to see if we’d just end up having kids.  What… how… did they force someone on you?”

She shook her head.  “It was a medical procedure.  I know whose it was… I think… do you remember Gal?”

You nodded.  Gal was short and funny and you remembered during the tests he always got telekinesis.  He thought it was funny to tap people on the shoulder while he was standing on the other side of the room.  “You think he’s dead?”

She nodded and then shook her head.  “I think… I don’t know.  They were injecting us with things, to make our powers come back, but it wasn’t working.  Katrina died.  And Shae.  And … and…”

“It’s okay,” you soothed, rubbing her back.  “It’s okay.”

She looked up at you with wide brown eyes.  “If I die, will you take care of my baby? You were always stronger than the rest of us. You’ll look after him.  Get him out of here.”

“Shh…” You whispered, crouching down.  “We’re gonna both get out of here.  Okay?  And your baby.  What’s his name?”

“I called him Gal.  I think… I think that’s only fair,” she said.  “Promise me you’ll take care of him.”

“I promise.  But you’re going to do that yourself, okay?”  You assured her, hoping that Steve and Bucky would come for you soon.

Whether it was the drugs they were using or the fact it was your second child, you couldn’t be sure, but your labor seemed to progress very quickly.  Once Azi got used to being in the room with you, she became a little more of a comfort to you.  She put baby Gal into the bassinet and would rub your back and soothe you through the contractions.  Not that there was much she could do.  Having someone on your side was better than being alone with HYDRA scientists, but all you could think was how much you needed Bucky and Steve.  Even if they did find you now, they were going to miss the birth of their daughter, and the longer your labor progressed, the harder it was to hang on to hope they’d find you at all.

Azi rubbed your back through a long contraction as you bent over the bed.  You’d been left alone again, but you knew it wouldn’t be long until the urge to push hit you.  You were in that period of serious pain where everything felt helpless and all you wanted to do was be with your boyfriends and curse them out for doing this to you.  Instead, you were in pain and terrified and with a woman who was even more scared than you.  Gal slept in the bassinet and part of you was even concerned that if you made too much noise would wake him and take Azi’s attention off you.

“You’re doing great,” she soothed.  “I think it won’t be long.”

“I don’t want them to deliver her,” you whined.  “I don’t want to do this here.”

“I know,” she said.  “I know.  I’m here.”

A siren started sounding, waking Gal so the baby's cries blended in with the harsh screeching of the alarms.  Azi looked around and hurried over to the infant.  “Hey, mommy’s here… I’ve got you,” she said, lifting him and holding him so one ear was pressed to her chest and the other was covered by her hand.  “What is that?”

Hope began to creep in again.  They’d found you.  You knew it.  It was only a matter of time before you’d be safe again.  You might even get to have this baby with them there with you.

Another contraction hit and you felt the need to push.  With Azi distracted with Gal and the sirens sounding, you weren’t sure what to do.  “Oh god,” you groaned, gritting your teeth and resisting the urge.

The sirens stopped and you heard footsteps run down the hall.  You couldn’t be sure, but you had a feeling they’d left you unguarded.  Another contraction hit and as it was ending the doors opened.  “Mommy,” Geo cried as he ran over to you.  “I don’t wanna be here.”

“I know,” you said, rubbing his back.  You looked around unsure what to do.  If you stayed here, then you were somewhere set up to deliver a baby, and hopefully, it wouldn’t take too long for Steve or Bucky to find you.  The problem was if you stayed here all of HYDRA knew where you were too, and if they were going to try and take you out of here before Steve or Bucky could get to you, then staying here let them do that.

You gritted your teeth.  “Geo,” you said.  “Do you think you can get the building to take us to a safer room?”

He nodded and took your hand.  “Azi, let’s go.”

She didn’t move and you doubled over in pain as another contraction hit.  “Mommy?”  Geo said, looking at you in fear.

“It’s okay, Geo,” you assured him.  “Your sister is coming.”  You looked back to Azi.  “Azi!  We have to go!”

She jumped and followed after you.  Geo led you out into the hall, clinging to your hand and pulling you along.  There were the sounds of shouting and gunfire, but while none sounded close yet, it was rapidly getting closer.  It was coming from several different sides and you began to worry that there wasn’t going to be anywhere safe to go.

Another contraction hit as you turned a corner and you almost collapsed to your knees.  The urge to push was intense and you had to consciously clench.  You were worried she might already be crowning.

“Mom, please,” Geo said, a look of pure panic.  “They’re coming.”

You tried to move, but all you could manage was a few staggered steps.

“Stop them!”

Azi jumped and you flinched at the sound of Viper’s voice as she came around the corner.  You pushed Geo behind you and tried to get him to move him forward.  Azi squared up, holding her baby so he was slightly protected.  “Get away from us!”  She screamed.

“There’s no use running, you idiots,” Viper snarled as the guards moved forward.  “Where do you think you’re going to go.”

Azi pushed Gal into your arms and charged at the guards, a look of wild rage on her face.

“Azi! No!”  You screamed.

Everything happened in slow motion.  Azi charged at them hands up like she was going to claw their eyes out and lept at the guard closest.  He stumbled back, and the gun went off.  Azi’s face froze as blood erupted out of her back.  You pulled Geo close as he began to wail and hid his face in your side.  For a second you weren’t even aware of the alarms going off again, as both Geo and Gal were screaming.

“Geo, run, go,” you said, pushing him forward.  He wouldn���t let go of your hand and you were worried that you weren’t going to be able to convince him to move.

“You idiots!  We needed her!”  Viper screeched.  “Get out of my way!”

She ran at you and you pushed Geo forward in an attempt to get away, knowing full well in your state you weren’t getting anywhere.  You managed to waddle forward a few steps as loud blasts erupted behind you.  Viper grabbed your shoulder and yanked you back.  You held Gal closer to you, sure she was about to make you drop him and a gunshot ran out behind you.

Viper’s grip relaxed and she slumped to the ground behind you.

“Daddy!”  Geo shouted as he looked around your legs.

You spun around.  Behind you, the hall was complete chaos.  The lights were flashing red and white and there were some of Iron Legion rounding up the few guards that Viper had with her.  Ari’s body was on the ground and one of the Legion seemed to be assessing it, while Viper's body lay at your feet. 

Bucky hurried down the hall, shouldering his rifle. “I’m here,” Bucky said, scooping the boy up.  “I’ve got you.”

Geo buried his face in Bucky’s neck and gradually the alarms calmed down and the lights settled.  Bucky put his arm around you.   “I’ve got you, darlin’,” he said.

“Oh god, Bucky,” you said, the emotions breaking as you started to tremble in his arms.  “Take the baby.”

He took the infant from you and you held his elbow as another contraction hit.  “Is this her?”  He asked.

You shook your head.  “No…” you said through gritted teeth.  “But she’s coming.”

“Shit,” he cursed.  “Come on.  Let's get you somewhere safe.” 

Geo pointed to a door and Bucky helped walk you to it, even as your body fought you moving at all.  “I need one of you to guard,” Bucky barked at the Legion.  One flew into place, standing at the door with its hands up and repulsors at the ready.

Bucky moved you inside and your knees buckled - like you’d been holding out until you had even one fragment of safety.  Bucky kneeled down beside you, still juggling Geo on the baby.  Geo was clinging to him like a koala and he hadn’t lifted his head from the spot in Bucky’s neck since he’d lifted the boy into place.

“Let me see,” Bucky said.

You got on your hands and knees and lifted the gown they’d put you in, spreading your legs until you were as comfortable as you could be.  Bucky sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth.  “Steve, you read me?” He said.  “I’ve found them.  And I’d suggest getting to us as quickly as you can if you wanna see your daughter born.”

// NEXT

[silksoftstars]

Sleepy

Pairing: Avengers x reader (platonic)

Characters: Reader, Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanoff, Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner, Clint Barton (mentioned)

Summary: You are tired, but Tony doesn't let you sleep.

Word count: 1300+

Warnings: Language, fluff, mentions of bruises, annoying Tony

A/N: I'm tired and I want cuddles

It was seven in the morning and you were sleeping happily in your bed on your floor in the avengers compound. Yesterday you just came back from a week-long mission with Clint. You had barely made it out of your gear and into some sweatpants and an oversized shirt before you fell into your bed and were out cold.

Thankfully you had no serious injuries but you had bruises all over your body especially on your left side since you got slammed into a wall by a explosion.

So when Tony decided to wake you up, because he had something 'important' to tell you all, you were pissed. But at the same time too tired to be pissed.

"Come on Y/N! Wake up!" Tony yelled and grabbed you by the shoulder to shake you. You groaned loudly since you had a big bruise on it and tried to wriggle out of Tony's grip.

"Go away," you whined into your pillow.

"No. Come on, you're awake already. Now you can get up too," Tony insisted and pulled at your shoulder again to get your face out of the pillow.

"Nooo," you protested again. As a response the billionaire pulled your blanket away and threw it in the floor.

"I hate you, Tony!" You told him and tried to hit him but in your tired state you missed him and your hand heavily fell back on the mattress.

"If you don't stand up, I'll carry you," Tony threatened. But you just ignored him and curled up in a fetal position, to shield yourself from the cold that was now seeping into your bones since your blanket was gone. It was almost winter already and your room wasn't heated since you forgot to.

"Alright, I was hoping it wouldn't come to that," Tony sighed and grabbed you by the waist and hoisted you up to throw you over his shoulder. Another groan escaped you. You were sore all over and had no strength left to soften the impact of your head bumping against Tony's back.

"Let me down," you grumbled but let your eyes stay closed when he carried you through the hallways. The sound of several voices came closer and you were placed on a couch. You whimpered and curled up again.

Right now you really hated Tony. Of course you weren't really hurt, but you were tired and feeling dramatic. You just wanted to sleep.

"Jesus Tony, I told you to let them sleep," Natasha scolded the man and it sounded like she had hit him.

"You okay, doll?" You heard a voice and squinted your eyes open. The room was bright and you immediately closed your eyes again, but you had seen Bucky keeling in front of the couch looking into your face.

"I'm fucking tried and cold and I hate Tony," you summarized. You heard a few chuckles as response from the team.

"Well we can help that," Bucky answered and you heard some shuffling. Your head was being lifted and placed onto a warm pillow.

Curiously you opened one eyes again, to see Bucky searching for some blankets on the other couches and you realized that the pillow was actually Sams lap. You saw Bruce and Nat sitting together and Tony in an armchair.

"Morning, Sammy," you greeted, blinking up at your best friend and gave him a tired smile.

"Morning," Sam responded and stroked your hair back out of your face. Bucky was back now too and covered your body in some blankets and lifted your feet in his lap.

"Mmh thanks. Can I keep you?" You asked Bucky and with that you fell back into the usual routine of you and Bucky. The two of you usually flirted all the time, teasing each other constantly. Everyone knew it was purely platonic but it was just part of your friendship and you both loved it.

"Sure thing, but only if you will be mine too," Bucky winked at you. Tony made some gagging noises. Your head whipped around and you glared at Tony.

"I swear as soon as I'm fully awake, I'll fucking kill you!" You threatened.

"You love me too much to do that," Tony grinned.

"We'll see," you shrugged and exchanged a look with Nat who gave you a knowing look followed with devilish smirk. She went back to talking to Bruce but you knew that later she would have your back.

Then Steve walked in with a few cups of coffee, which he gave to me, Sam and Tony. You three were the coffee addicts on the team together with Clint. But you figured that Clint was still asleep in one of his nests and Tony hadn't found him. Lucky him.

"You're a lifesaver, thank you," you told Steve and Sam nodded enthusiastically.

"Now that everyone is here, I can tell you why you're here," Tony started, smiling brightly and made a dramatic pause.

"Oh spit it out Stark," Bucky groaned annoyed.

"So I felt like it was a long time since we had the last party and I figured we needed one," Tony explained.

"Tony, we had the last party five days ago," Bruce reminded him with a sigh. The man hated parties even more then the rest of the team. It just was too stressful. And while all of you loved the get-togethers with the team, Tony's parties were something else.

Hundreds of people, all rich and entitled, came into the compound and celebrated whatever reason Tony had come up with. You and Nat had get rid of many assholes who thought that being rich was enough reason for you to hook up with them and the boys had to deal with drunk woman who threw themselves at the boys.

And not to forget the press who made so many fotos of you all that at the end of the evening all of your eyes hurt and all the theories and gossip talk that always resulted after the party.

You all hated it. Sam and you just wanted to have some fun together without constantly being watched by people. Nat just hated being around people who she didn't know and she hated even more when people, especially men touched her. It often had ended in broken wrists.

Steve and Bruce were uncomfortable with all the attention and the eyes on them and while Bucky might've liked parties in the 40s, today the parties scared him and made him panic.

Just Tony loved parties. He loved being the center of attention, all the woman who flirted with him and he always ended with at least one of them in bed.

"See five days is way too long," Tony sighed dramatically and took a big sip of his coffee.

"Tony, you know I love you. But I won't ever go on another party of yours. I promised myself that," you told him.

"But..." Tony pouted but got interrupted by Steve.

"Look Tony, you can have whatever party you want, but not here and not with us," Steve sternly told him.

"Alright. But then you all have to repay me by playing 'truth or dare' tonight," Tony agreed and his smile was immediately back on his face.

"Fine by me," Sam shrugged and his fingers slightly drummed on your shoulder. You nodded and the whole team agreed more or less reluctantly.

When Tony was finally done with planning, you turned on Sams lap and pressed my face into his shirt.

"What are you doing?" Sam questioned with a laugh.

"I'm sleeping and then I'm gonna kick Stark's ass," you explained, your voice muffled by Sams shirt.

"Alright," Sam smiled and ruffled through your hair, while Bucky adjusted the blanket on your body, that partly had slipped down on the floor.

[annebaneriddle]

Ok, now that's something that's comming from someone who loves Sam with all of her heart: why are some of you guys so pissed about when Bucky said "If he was wrong about you, he was wrong about me"? Because if you think that it was about Bucky trying to belittle Sam's feelings, you lost the point of that scene.

There are a lot of reasons why Sam would have given away the shield: he thought more about it and decided he didn't want all the weight and responsabolities that comes with the shield's legacy (what would be completely understandable, since Steve threw that responsability on him suddenly, without any warning and without ASKING if he wanted it), he felt as he was not ready for that yet (what, again, would be understandable), he felt that having a new Captain America so soon after Steve's "death" would be wrong, he felt that people wouldn't accept a black Captain America (and I'm almost sure that Bucky not even considerated that one, because that man can pretend to hate Sam, but he clearly likes him and thinks the world of him. I bet that he sees Sam as someone who isn't scared about anything and, after what Sam did back in CW, as someone who doesn't care about what people will think about him as long as he is doing the right thing).

Bucky hasn't seen Sam for some months, he has no idea about why Sam gave away the shield and he doesn't have how to guess the reason, so he is trying to understand. He asked Sam, Sam didn't tell why, and he is still trying to understand. He went through a lot of things that made him question his worth as a person, that made him question if he was worthy to fight for. Now, Steve, the most important person to him, has just left him to go back to a girl he barely knew, just kissed once and with who he had no idea if their relationship would really work. He was literally left for a "maybe" (and don't come with the "but he knew what Steve was going to do" bullshit. What he was going to do? Tell Steve that he couldn't go and that he had to stay?), and that for sure hurt him more than he is showing and made him question his worthyness even more.

As I said, he thinks the world of Sam, Sam is one of the best people he ever knew, and Steve is the best character judging he ever knew. Steve gave the shield to Sam because he knew Sam was a good man.

Now think about that: Bucky has been strugling on healing since he came back, he is having nightmares, Steve left him, the date he had reminded him that he killed the son of the man he befriended, John Walker being named the new Captain America and talking all of that bullshit on the TV as if Steve and him were close friends, him having to go back to the fight when all he wanted was peace, the talk with Isaiah reminding him of his past and making him question if he can ever stop being what Hydra turned him into, and being arested because he lost that therapy session.

Bucky.is.on.his.limit!

He is more stressed than any human being should ever be, he is questioning everything on his life and his therapist is disturbing him more than helping with the way she treats him and his struggles (and don't come with the "But she is perfect to him" bullshit. None therapist should ever treat a patient that way. All the real therapists that I saw talking about her said she is a horrible therapist). He has been bottling his emotions and soon or later, him wanting or not, they were going to come out one way or another as either a verbal attack a physical attack or a break down, and when he reached that limit, Sam was the one on the way.

That wasn't Bucky belittling Sam's emotions. That was James Buckanan Barnes reaching his limit. You can see that by the way his voice broke while he was talking, by the pain on his eyes, by the way him himself seemed surprised by that sudden explosion.

You wanted Bucky dealing with his trauma? There it is, so why are you mad? That was a realistic reaction, not the kind of reaction that you read on fanfic.

[treasureswordsgirl55]

Come Back

Character: James Bucky Barnes

Pairing: Bucky Barnes / Fem!Reader (OC)

Inspired By (Song): Tu fotografía - Gloria Estefan

Warnings: Fluff. So much Angst. Insecurities. Post! Snap. Post!Avengers Endgame. Pre TFATWS.

Author’s Note: Hello. Hello. Hello. I hope everyone’s ok.

This fic is a second part of “Dust”. When I wrote Dust, automatically thought on a second part, and maybe It would be so so long posted in one post.

(If you don’t know, I write in the night) so… This is the final part of this fic. As always say, it’s a pleasure write with Bucky and maybe, just maybe, write a novel with him just to pull out of off my head.

Part 1 is here

He’s other of my movie’s crush with Poe Dameron. And Loki too. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Ps: The gif isn't mine. (I don't remember who is the creator)

Again, thanks u for the likes, comments and reblogs. Always made me smile to know that my stories makes you fun a little.

So I hope you like this one. XOXO 💋

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I’m driving on the highway at a considerable speed trying to get to my destination quickly. The letter that Steve sent me through those FBI mens is on the passenger seat unopened but I know it contains something important.

His messages were always important.

I barely see out of the window that the great building of Avengers Headquarters appears in my vision, and I feel my heart race. Although I had never been there, something made me even more nervous.

I get out of the car quickly and before even crossing the doors of the building, I see that many people leave, some crying, others hugging others and some running quickly towards taxis that are stopped in the streets near it. The destinations were very different: Some went to the center, others that went to the different government offices and others directly to the airport.

What’s happening?

A police officer stops me and asks for my identification. The only thing I have with me is my little blue backpack and Steve’s letter in my hand.

I think about whether to show him the letter, but I open it and take out from inside it, a folded sheet of paper and a small card, as if it were a driver’s license, and I give it to the officer who steps away only when he sees it, indicating that I should enter through another of the doors that were empty. From a distance I can barely see the different sheets of paper stuck to the side of one of the doors where many people were reading and walking towards the taxis. The officer guides me until I enter through a door that could be for a giant and I sneak past what appear to be luxury cars totally covered by blue tarps.

- We were waiting for you, Miss Porter - The artificial voice makes me jump with fright and I turn towards the void, looking for the source where it comes from; but I can’t see a speaker, far from it, someone nearby - I’m sorry to scare you, my name is FRIDAY, I’m one of Mr. Stark’s technological assistants.

Stark. How long since I heard anything about that last name.

- It's nothing. You just took me by surprise - I deny as I walk through that empty corridor and I see through the tinted windows how people are hugging, as if they had not seen each other a long time ago - What am I doing here? Why don’t the others come in this way?

- I’m sorry it was like that. Let me ask you a question: Did you read Captain Rogers’ letter? It was his exclusive request that you enter through here.

- No … - I answer lost in my thoughts and squeeze the letter in my hands, as if it were some kind of stress reliever that I had learned to use over the years, while I pay attention to the couple that is a few meters from me , who seems to be eager to touch, as if they have not been together a long time - I’ll do it at home.

- You must do it now before entering the main room.

I suddenly look at the threshold where I see silhouettes of people walking quickly from one side to the other. My breath catches in my throat as I feel fear invade me. What am I afraid of? Steve is on the other side waiting for me to give me another bad news? Tell me that he was gone forever like that time five years ago?

- Let me assure you that the content of that letter will not make you suffer more than you have suffered in these five years, Miss Porter.

I look at the letter and curse while I mentally complain about the ease I have to express my emotions, even more so when the opinion comes, from what I suppose, it is an AI.

- And how do you know that? How do you know that I suffered?

- Because Captain Rogers specially asked me to remind you if you didn’t get to read it - I laugh as I remember the many calls during my last two weeks of school, and the times I preferred to press the end button in order not to listen to Steve ask me if I was okay when we were both fully aware that neither he or I were - I know it was very hard for both you, and Captain Rogers, the loss of Sergeant Barnes.

Hearing his last name was as if someone had hit the pit of my stomach and the air suddenly escaped, without giving me the possibility of recovering it.

I try to take a deep breath but barely manage to take in a small breath of air before I feel a tear fall down my cheek.

It hadn’t been long since the snap when I realized how much I missed Bucky.

- It was not necessary to remember something that I’m still trying to forget.

I mumble as I walk to the door and hear children’s laughter, whispers about whether they were okay or how long they were out - What is out there?

- You must see it by yourself, miss. Let me tell you something: Captain Rogers was very sorry that he couldn’t say goodbye to you as he would have liked, but he wants you to know that he appreciates you in ways you can’t imagine.

- Thanks FRIDAY. He went on a trip?

- To live his life, miss. And he hopes that he can give it back some of yours.

I frown at her words and feel a breeze of fresh air come through the door and as soon as I cross the threshold, I hear Friday say the words that nail me to the place.

- Sergeant Barnes is waiting for you. He will be eager to see you again.

Bucky? Was this a joke? I try to open the note quickly but my fingers seem not to want to collaborate between the tremors and the nerves. How likely was the AI ​​to be wrong?

None.

As soon as I open the note I see some scribbles that I understand as the date, which is from a few days ago, and I read it quickly looking for those words that tell me that what FRIDAY said is true.

“I’m sorry I can’t say goodbye to you, Emma. I wish I could tell you this in person, but the circumstances of my trip make it impossible. What I can tell you is that I’ll be fine and that I’m coming home. It was a pleasure. meet you and I want you to do me a favor: Take care of him. He always looked after me, now it’s time for someone to take care of him. That idiot won the lottery with you, Emma. And you must make him notice it every day of his life. This is my gift to you, I know I couldn’t promise anything five years ago, but we did it, we won and James is here for you. I hope that’s enough. ”

I put my hands to my mouth, suppressing a sob, without finishing reading the letter and when I start looking for it with my eyes among so many people. Suddenly reality hits me: The people who were here, running, hugging, crying were those who had disappeared with the snap.

My God … He was here.

I walk towards one of the men who is dressed in red, with the Médecins Sans Frontières insignia and the words are stuck in my throat.

- Are you looking for someone special? Could you give me the details?

- Barnes. He’s here … Or so they told me - I keep looking with my eyes but I can’t make out anyone I usually know. There was no sign of either Natasha or Sam - Sam Wilson? He’s his partner.

The man looks at me as if horns have come out of my head and he approaches another young woman in black, who sees me and only nods to him. I show her the credential without waiting for an answer and she simply indicates the door that is a few meters from us.

- Porter, right? - I nod as if he were a robot and indicates the door to me again - Main hall. Gate 6.

- Thank you - I run while avoiding people, children who run into the arms of their parents and push others, but no one complains. As soon as I get to the door and let people in, I see Sam in the distance that he’s talking to someone I can’t recognize. Something inside me ignites and I feel my heart beating again. I can handle the urge to cry as much as I can but I can’t, as I feel the heat invade my cheeks.

He diverts attention from who’s talking to him, he sees me and starts laughing. That complicit and funny laugh that I haven’t seen in someone for a long time. Everything had become so sad that it seemed to be in a black and white movie. I can barely get Bucky’s name off my lips when Sam nods in my direction and slaps the arm of the man in front of him. He shakes his head, visibly annoyed, but Sam indicates where I am, making the stranger turn around.

I hold back a sigh as soon as I see him turn and look in Sam’s direction but he doesn’t seem to see me. People who cross between the two prevent it. His long hair was gone and a new haircut made him look more confident. Even more attractive. His eyes were still sad but in a way that I couldn’t quite interpret.

Good God, the need to touch him was such that it seemed to me that I was in a dream and that none of it was real.

I try to scream his name through the murmur but nothing comes out of my mouth and when I try again, the tears prevent me from speaking.

I walk quickly, closing the distance between us, but before I even reach the middle, fear takes hold of me again.

What if he doesn’t remember me in the same way that I remember him?

I see Sam roll his eyes as he grabs his shoulders, turns him around, and points him right in my direction: once our gazes meet, I can’t hold back the tears.

The only answer I get is a smile.

We both rush towards each other and I hardly feel the air getting heavy, I wrap my arms around him, as if he might disappear at any moment.

- You’re here. You don’t know how much I cried for you - I hear his laugh while I feel his lips leave kisses on my hair, as his hands try to touch any part of me that is within reach and as soon as he takes me by the arms he pulls me away, observing me from above down - I thought you were just another illusion in my head.

- Is it really you, Emma? - He hugged me again and I hear Sam mutter as he passed something about how “cheesy” we looked - You look different.

-You were gone for a long time, James - he murmured against his chest while I enjoy the heat that his body gives off as well as the accelerated beats of his heart that are coupled with mine - When Steve told me that you had gone …

- Shh … don’t remember. I’m here, doll. I will never leave again.

He pulls away just to look at me for a few moments, I don’t know if he was looking for something or trying to remember something, but he just raised his hand to wipe the tears that were falling down my cheek.

- I have to catch you up on things here. - I try to get Steve’s letter out of my pocket but Bucky makes me look at him again.

- Before that….

The last thing my brain analyzes is the softness of his lips against mine. A gentle pressure and I feel like the floor disappears under me. I try to get up on tiptoe to get up to him and run my hands on his shoulders trying to bring him closer, but all I can do is wrap his arms around me and get even closer to him. I let my fingers play with his short hair and I love that feeling.

Hell, I missed his presence so much that it was hard for me to think about never having him around again.

He pulled me for air and I can tell his cheeks are just as red as mine - Bucky I …

-You don’t know how long I wanted to do that.

- For 6 years? - I joke as I approach again and take him by the hand.

- How old are you, Emma? The first time I met you, you were 25.

- I will turn 31 next week - I admit as he shakes his head and looks for someone with his eyes, when he does not find him, he lets out a growl - Who are you looking for?

- Sam. I’ll tell him we’re leaving - Answer my mental question and gently pull me towards one of the secluded rooms of the building where I hear murmurs from other people - I’ll catch up with you, doll.

I feel my cheeks heat up as I brake, causing Bucky to tense up - What do you mean?

- We will catch up on all aspects and I swear to you that you will hardly leave my department - I try to laugh but all I get is that a gasp escapes my lips causing me to give me a playful smile - In that aspect too, doll .

- Before you two go to do the things that are you going to do - I hear Sam’s voice in the distance and as soon as it enters our field of vision, I see him snorting - You know you must be with Raynor on Monday at 9 o'clock. Truth?

- And you had to remind me now?

- Yes, because I know you will not answer my messages and she will be the one who will remind you when you want to forget about it. Your head depends on it, Buck.

- Do not call me that way.

- Come on old man, go enjoy your life and stop getting mad at the world. You’re back and with your girl, and will you still be upset because I call you like Steve did?

I shift my gaze from one to the other and Bucky just extends his hand to Sam, who shakes it without hesitation.

- Take care of yourself, Wilson.

- You too Barnes. If you need me, you know where to find me.

I pulled me away from Bucky as I walk to the door and I feel like some of the pain is gone even though I still can’t assimilate that that’s true.

- Let’s go, doll?

- Let’s go.

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch60: Proof Tony Stark Has A Heart.

Intro: Katie bids an emotional farewell to her brother, as the rest of the world pays their respects.

Warnings: “Language!”  Major angst- get the tissues ready.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N: So we’re almost there! One chapter after this plus the epilogue. I can’t thank @angrybirdcr​ enough for her edits!

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Chapter 59

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

 “Hey.” A deep voice roused Katie from her thoughts and she looked up to see Bucky walk into the kitchen wearing a pair of black sweats and a red Henley. “I would ask if you were okay but it’s a stupid question.” “I appreciate the sentiment.” She smiled at him. “Coffee is fresh, just don’t tell Steve I’ve been drinking it. He’ll only bitch and moan about caffeine being bad for the baby.” Bucky smiled. “My lips are sealed.” He moved further into the room, helping himself to a mug from the cupboard before he made himself a drink. He sat down opposite his best friend’s wife and just took her in for a moment. Her long hair was piled on top of her head in a messy bun and she looked pale and tired. He couldn’t help but feel a pang of sympathy for her and just how much she was going through. Finding out you’re pregnant again, with a baby you lost whilst having to come to terms with the death of your brother, the brother you had long since thought of as a father, couldn’t be easy for anyone.

He took a sip of his drink and leaned forward slightly. “So how are you really feeling?”

She looked at him for a moment before she took a deep breath. “If I’m honest, lost.” She sniffed slightly as her eyes filled with tears. “All my life Tony has been there and the thought now that he’s not, and never will be again.” She wiped at her face, “You know Buck, for the last week I’ve felt like I’ve been in a bad dream but yesterday, getting that message and today, it just makes it so real, so final you know?” Bucky smiled softly and reached over the table to squeeze her hand. “You’ll get through this. I know all things considered we haven’t really known each other that long but I do know you’re made of strong stuff.” “I don’t feel like it at the moment.” “You have to be to put up with Stevie.” He joked, making her give a watery chuckle. “Just remember you’re not on your own.”  "I know,” Katie smiled, her eyes brimming with tears, “and Steve’s been amazing, he really has. You all have.” “Yeah, he ain’t bad for a punk.” Bucky smiled making her chuckle slightly as he let go of her hand. “Talking about me again?” Steve’s warm voice hit their ears and Katie glanced up, smiling at him as he leaned on the door frame, arms crossed, the fact he was dressed almost identically to his friend only with a blue Henley made her smile. “Yes.” Bucky nodded. Steve rolled his eyes and pushed off the frame. He crossed the room and dropped a kiss to Katie’s head before his hand gently brushed her face. “It’s early, Doll.” He gently tipped her face to look up at him. “You were so tired last night.” “Yeah I woke about an hour ago and couldn’t get back to sleep.”

Steve looked at her for a second, he’d much rather she’d have lay in for an extra hour or so, all things considered but he knew she would be stressing about today so there wasn’t any point in dwelling on it.

“You want any breakfast?” He asked her, dropping his hand back to his hip. “Not really but yes, before you say it I know I have to eat.” “French toast?” He asked and she pondered for a moment. He knew that was her favourite breakfast. And she knew that he knew. “We got any strawberries?” She asked eventually, with a faint smile.

He nodded. ”What’s French toast without the fruit?” “Wait,” Bucky pointed at Steve, “you’re cooking?”

“And?” Steve looked at him.

“The last time I remember you trying to do that you nearly burnt your apartment down and my mom banned you from ever trying again.” He snorted as he looked at Katie. “She insisted on making him food parcels!" 

"He’s actually pretty good.” Katie shrugged and Steve preened a little at her praise, flipping Bucky off with a smug grin. “He makes a wicked carbonara but breakfasts are his speciality. Jamie loves his pancakes, says they’re better than mine”

“I had a good teacher.” Steve gave her a wink before he crossed to the cupboard and pulled out the brioche.

“Think I’ll go grab a shower before the kids wake up.” Katie pushed back from the table, her hand falling to her stomach. ”And before this little peanut realises I’m awake and makes me puke my guts up again.”

Steve watched her go before he sighed and moved to the fridge to grab the eggs.

“She’ll be okay, pal.” Bucky assured him “Today’s gonna be hard but she’s got everyone around her.”

“She should be taking it easy.” Steve shook his head. “She had a rough time with sickness and tiredness when she was pregnant with Jamie up until the six month mark and this stress can’t be good for either of them.”

He trailed off as Emmy walked into the kitchen, yawning, pulling her long brown hair into a braid. “Morning, Sweetie, you want some French toast?” Steve asked as she moved to give her dad a hug, still half asleep. She nodded and made an appreciative noise before she turned to grab the orange juice from behind him in the fridge. Pouring a glass she sat at the table and said good morning to Bucky before she picked up the remote.

The three of them instantly looked at the screen when a familiar voice hit their ears. “Tony Stark was a good man.” Secretary Ross was speaking to the journalist “I had the privilege to know him well. He had th-” At that Emmy turned the channel over. “Dick.” She mumbled under her breath. Bucky caught Steve’s eye, the pair of them sharing a grin, Steve choosing not to chastise her for her language.

“Good morning to you too!” Sam grinned as he walked into the kitchen. Emmy looked at him before she chuckled.

“Not you, Ross.” “Ah. Well, no arguments from me there” Sam shrugged, heading to the coffee pot.

“Katie punched him you know.” Steve decided to interject a little bit of light heartedness into the morning. All three of them turned to face him as Sam let out a snort.

“Why am I not surprised?”

Steve raised his eyebrows, the corner of his mouth curling up into a smile. 

“Well, come on Pops, tell us!” Emmy urged.

“It was just after the snap. Katie went with Rhodey to give President Ellis a briefing. She had a disagreement with Ross, and then as she was leaving he made some snarky comment so she gave him a right hook, a pretty good one too according to Rhodey.” Sam and Bucky both exchanged a look, Sam nodding in approval, a grin split across his face. “Nice.”

“You know,” Bucky looked at him, “the more I hear and see of your Missus, the more I think I’m in love with her myself.”

Steve rolled his eyes and started to whisk the obscene number of eggs he had placed in the bowl. By the time he had finished making everyone breakfast, Katie was back at the table in a towel robe, hair damp, having brought Jamie down. No sooner had Steve placed her plate of food in front of her, she was up again, running to the downstairs bathroom to throw up.

“Is Momma sick?” Jamie asked, looking at Steve who smiled at him.

“She’s fine pal, the new baby is just making her feel a little funny, that’s all. Nothing to worry about.”

Jamie looked back at the door his mom had disappeared through before he picked up his fork and began to dig into the chopped up French toast and fruit that was on his plate.

Katie wandered back in a few minutes later and sat back at the table, pinching the bridge of her nose. Steve watched as she pushed her food around her plate for a bit, before she took a few bites. Satisfied that she was eating something he tucked into his own.

Once breakfast was done the house was a flurry of activity as people got ready. Katie, having already showered, simply had to fix her hair and make-up. She set Jamie’s outfit out for him and Emmy offered to help him dress to give her chance to get herself sorted, which she was grateful for. “Stevie?” Katie asked him as he stood in front of the mirror, doing his tie and he caught her eye in the reflection. “Can you zip me up please?”

She turned round and Steve moved, his fingers softly pulling up the zipper of her black dress before he dropped a kiss to her neck as his arms wrapped around her waist, hands flattening on her stomach.

“No bump yet.” He muttered softly and she smiled.

“I’ll be fat again soon enough.” Her hands fell over his, her fingers lightly tracing over the cool metal of his wedding band.

“I can’t wait.” He grinned as she snorted.

“I swear you have some kind of breeding kink.” “Not as such, I just love you and love the fact my baby is in there.” He pulled her back so she was pressed into him slightly. “I loved the changes I saw last time.” “You’re only hoping my boobs get bigger again.” She teased and he smiled, arching an eyebrow.

“Can you blame me?”

“Captain Bad Ass is a pervert, who knew?” She chuckled before she turned in his arms and straightened the knot on his tie slightly, smoothing her hands down his chest. She took a deep breath and looked up at him. “I’m scared, Steve.”

Instantly understanding he pulled her closer, his arms wrapping around her back “Don’t be. I’ll be right there okay? It’ll be over soon enough.”

“The funeral might be.” Katie sighed. “But I’m not sure losing him will ever be over.” “You’re right it won’t” Steve agreed, and she looked at him “It’s almost ninety years since my ma died. Okay, granted most of them I was on ice for but she died when I was eighteen. There’s still not a day goes past where I don’t think about her or miss her.”

He brushed a strand of hair that had fallen loose from her bun out of her face and smiled softly. “But it does get easier. I promise you will one day be able to look back on your memories of Tony and be happy that he was your brother and such a big part of your life.”

He placed a gentle kiss onto her lips before a loud shout from the hallway told them the car had arrived. They made their way downstairs and Katie smiled at Jamie who was dressed in a black suit almost identical to Steve’s.

“Look at my handsome, little man.” Katie beamed at him, dropping a kiss to his head.

“Here.” Steve tossed the keys to his Audi to Bucky, who caught them effortlessly in his right hand.

“See you there.” Bucky nodded to Steve who smiled at his friends as they left.  

*****

It was busy outside the Cathedral. The surrounding street and road had been shut off and the sidewalks around the temporary barriers were packed with members of the public and press as they all clamoured round. Katie found the whole thing hideous, and her hand tightened on Steve’s as the car pulled to a stop just outside the building.

“I don’t know if I can do this.” She whispered and Steve turned to look at her. She was chewing her lip and shaking slightly. He glanced back at Emmy who was on the row behind.

“Em, take Jamie in okay. We’ll be there in a second.” She nodded. “Come on short stuff.” She smiled at her brother as someone opened the door for them. Jamie looked at his dad for a moment but Steve nodded and he followed Emmy, slipping his hand into hers as they headed into the building, Bucky and Sam both meeting them by the door.

“Give us a second.” Steve spoke to the man who had opened their door and he nodded, gently closing it.

“Look at me.” Steve turned to his wife and she glanced up at him, her eyes wide and frightened. “I know this is daunting, but you just gotta get through this bit. As soon as this is over, then it’s back to the lake house and there’ll be none of this or them around.” He waved his hand gesturing outside.

“I can’t.” “Yes, you can.” His voice was soft, but stern, he knew he had to be to keep her calm. “Baby, you’re the strongest person I know. And you’re not on your own, I got you. If it starts getting too much in there you just let me know and I’ll get you out, I promise, okay?”

Katie took a deep breath and looked at her husband as he gently cupped her face in his hand, stroking her cheek with his thumb. She had to do this, she had to. And she knew Steve would look after her. With a deep breath she nodded and he dropped a soft kiss to her lips before he turned and opened the door.

The minute she was out of the cars the cameras started flashing and she gripped Steve’s hand even tighter. He moved so his arm was around her, pulling her close, almost shielding her from the attention as he walked purposefully into the Cathedral Grounds, his eyes not once looking round. In a few seconds they were through the gates and mostly out of the way of the public and he felt Katie relax a little as she let out the breath she had been holding when Jamie ran to her, wrapping his arms round her legs.

“Momma, I just met the Priest. He says his name is James too!” “Wow!” Katie smiled down at her son. “Only the best people are called James.” “So that’s me, Uncle Bucky and the Priest!” Jamie ticked them off on his small fingers, beaming at her. She gave a soft chuckle as he slipped his little hand into hers. It wasn’t long before the funeral party arrived, Pepper and Morgan climbing out of the first car with Happy, the Hearst behind carried her Brother’s coffin. Katie smiled as she saw it was adorned with a wreath of greenery and country wild flowers which, in the centre, boasted the first Arc Reactor he had developed, which Pepper had framed for him all those years ago. ‘Proof Tony Stark has a heart’ was engraved on the metal halo surrounding it. It had been Pepper’s idea of a joke at the time, but Tony had insisted on keeping it by his desk ever since she gave it to him.

As Steve, Rhodey, Clint and Happy all stepped forward to take a corner of the coffin each, Bruce moved behind them, one large hand resting on the back. Katie took hold of Emmy’s hand in her spare one, and the three of them followed on behind Pepper and Morgan, heading into the Cathedral as the familiar sounds of ‘Drops of Jupiter’ by Train hit their ears.

Steve’s eyes were already misting over by the time he was halfway down the aisle. Saying goodbye to people you loved never got any easier. And he had loved Tony, as a friend and a brother. He hadn’t been perfect, none of them were, and at times he had really tested Steve’s patience. But he had been a good man. Always doing right by the people he cared about. As they placed the coffin down, he heard Rhodey give a little chuckle and he glanced over at him, puzzled. Rhodey gestured to the picture of Tony that was on the table and as Steve looked at it he couldn’t help but laugh. It was a picture of Tony, giving the thumbs up to someone in what looked like a court room, Rhodey in the back ground, looking utterly exasperated.

 “It was a senate hearing.” Rhodey whispered. “He had just goaded Stern into telling him to go eff himself.”

“Why am I not surprised?” Steve smiled, as he moved to stand in the space next to Katie, who had Jamie settled on her hip, Emmy at her other side. He gave her a gentle squeeze around the shoulder and then they were told to sit down.

Katie couldn’t tell you what hymns were sung, despite the fact she had a hand in picking them, or what readings Rhodey and Banner read out. She was in a daze, until the time came (far too soon for her liking) for her to give the Eulogy.

Steve took Jamie off her knee and leaned over “You got this.” He whispered gently, kissing her cheek as she stood up and made her way, chin raised with as much dignity as she could manage, up the four steps to the pulpit.

“You know,” she coughed and cleared her throat, “I agonised for days over what to say here, stood in front of you all, and not to mention the many, many people watching outside. I trashed about fifty different sheets of paper because not one speech I wrote could ever do Tony justice. So, in the end I decided to go with the Stark favoured tradition, the one he started, and wing it.” She took a deep breath as  few chuckles rose from the large atrium, and looked out at the heaving Cathedral before she turned her attention to the front three rows which contained the people she loved and knew.

“From the day our Parents died, Tony took on the role of being my brother, my father and my mother, which for a twenty-one year old party animal is no mean feat. Not to mention the fact he had to get to grips with running a company as well. But he did it. And he did it well, I think. I mean I turned out okay, although my kids and husband might have something to say about that.” More chuckles rang out over the congregation and she paused, waiting for them to die down.

“I never wanted for anything as a child. I was incredibly lucky, I had so many opportunities others could only dream of. But if there was one thing Tony taught me, it was that I had to earn it. Ironic, yes given that we had more money than even he knew what to do with, but he made me understand that hard work pays off. And that’s something that has stuck with me always. Everything is earned, bar love. My brother loved me unconditionally, and I him. Even though he was a pain in the proverbial to live with at times.”

Pepper smiled at this and looked down at her hand which was wrapped around Morgan’s. To her right sat Happy who was also smiling. On the row behind them Steve sat with Jamie on his knee and Emmy to his right. He smiled up at his wife encouragingly, his chest bursting with pride at how well she was conducting herself.

“There was no Boarding School for me. After spending most of his Childhood in one, Tony vowed never to do the same to me or any of his kids, and for that I’ll be eternally grateful.” Katie said sincerely, and she was. “I grew up in an unconventional, yet oh so loving environment. Yes, Tony was a party animal, I mean I lost track of the amount of times Pepper had to ‘take out the trash’…”

At that Pepper, Rhodey and Happy all laughed out loud at the little inside joke.

“But he was on the most discreet, until I got a little older that is and it became a running joke between us all. I can’t actually remember him ever introducing me to a serious girlfriend bar Pepper so congratulations Pep, you truly did tame Tony Stark.”

Katie bit her lip slightly as she felt herself wobble at the next set of words that formed in her mind.

“When I was a Kid, to me Tony was fun. He used to wrestle monsters under my bed with the Monster Killing machine, aka the Vacuum. He used to build ridiculous forts in the living room that would remain there for days during school holidays where we would hide out, eat pizza, junk and play games. He took me to Disney Land, to the Beach, to Aquariums, on holidays that were ridiculously elaborate. I was an extremely lucky little girl.  But then, when I got older, he stopped simply being my fun bigger brother and became my friend as well. When I passed my driving test we would regularly just go for drives to a Starbucks that was like ten miles away, just so we could spend time on the open road and sing like idiots as loud as we could. He held my hair back whilst I puked up after my first Keg Party aged seventeen. At twenty-one he took me to Vegas for the first time when I had graduated,” another pause and a deep breath, “but then I got older still, and he morphed from being this friend and big brother person into a true father figure and I knew one day he would make a spectacular dad. Something which was proven more recently when he welcomed his own daughter, Morgan into the world”

Steve watched as Katie rubbed her temple with her right hand, her left shifting down to her stomach, and she gave a sharp intake of breath before she looked at him and gave him a soft smile. Jamie waved at her and she wiggled her fingers back before she looked back up and over at the congregation.

“It breaks my heart when I think that he will never see Morgan start school or graduate from college. He’ll never have the chance to embarrass her awfully in-front of her friends in the many, many ways he could. He’ll never be sat, waiting with an Iron Man suit when the first boyfriend makes an appearance. He’ll never walk her down the aisle. All the things he did for me in his role as my father and I feel so guilty to have experienced those moments with him, whilst Morgan will never get the chance. We’ll all do our best to keep his memories alive but, as I know from experience, there’s only so much memories can do.”

And now she was beginning to break, and Steve could see the tears shining in her eyes, even before the first one fell. Her voice was thick when she spoke again.

“What has happened over the past five years in particular just serves as a reminder to us all that life is fragile. The time we have on this Earth is already short and we can’t lose sight of what matters the most. Friends, family, those who know us inside out and still love us all the same.” She paused, swallowing a little as she sniffed. “You know, Steve said something to me before that really struck a chord. Everyone says that time is a great healer, but it isn’t. You just learn to live with the new normal. It doesn’t stop you hurting, doesn’t stop you yearning for the ones you miss, the ones you love. And as long as you still love them, you’ll always grieve for them.”

She wiped at her face with both hands and took a shaky breath, and Steve willed her with everything he had to keep it together, just for the last few words she had to say.

“And we lost two people in our bid to bring everyone back. My brother and Natasha Romanoff, Black Widow. One of the bravest, most loyal, kind and beautiful people, inside and out that I had the honour of knowing. And now I urge you all do something with your second chances so that their decision to give their lives so you could have yours wasn’t in vain. Make the most of the time you have been given, the people that have been returned to you. Grab the opportunities you can, with the people you love. Go on those trips, have that wine, eat that cheeseburger.”

She was now crying freely as she stole herself for her last line, looking at Steve who was handing Jamie over to Emmy and rising to his feet, ready to help her down as he knew she’d be shaky. “Iron Man wasn’t a hero.” Katie shook her head as she looked out over the large Cathedral, her vision blurred from her tears. “It was the man behind the mask. My brother. Anthony Edward Stark- Billionaire, genius, playboy, philanthropist. Husband, Father, Brother, Friend.”

She stepped back from the podium, taking Steve’s hand shakily as he offered it to her, helping her down the steps.

 “I’m so proud of you.” He whispered softly in her ear, his own voice cracking with emotion as he kissed her temple, steering her back towards their seats. Jamie crawled onto her lap and kissed her cheek and she held her son tight, pressing her face into his soft, blonde hair as she desperately tried to quell the damn of sobs inside her that was threatening to burst out of her chest.

She made it through the rest of the ceremony, her hand tightly gripped round Steve’s but was beyond pleased when it was over. As the sounds of AC/DC ‘Back in Black’  rang around the Cathedral, those who knew Tony exchanged a grin, Jamie even doing a little jig in his dad’s arms as they headed outside.

“That was a beautiful speech.” Pepper smiled to Katie as they reached the courtyard, Steve taking Jamie over to speak to the priest as they boy was insisting. “He’d be so proud, you know that?”

“Thanks.” Katie nodded as she glanced at Morgan who was clinging to her mother’s leg. She had a sudden flashback to how she had done the same to Tony, hung on to him for dear life at their Parents’ funeral. Katie crouched down in front of her niece.

“Hey Moo, how are you feeling?”

“I miss Dad.” She whispered, her eyes watering up.

Katie tried desperately to keep her face from screwing up into a sob. “I miss him too, sweetie, I miss him a lot but you know something?” Morgan shook her head. “He’ll always be with you, with me, in here.” She tapped the spot over Morgan’s heart. “And we’ll have our special memories of how brave he was, how funny he was, how silly he was and how much he loved us all, okay?”

Morgan nodded softly before she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around her Auntie’s neck.

"But he’s not here.” Morgan whispered and at that Katie did start to cry again as she held Morgan close, looking up and making eye contact with Pepper who was watching the two with a look of pure sadness on her face, her own tears coursing down her cheeks.

No,” Katie took a shaky breath, “he isn’t, and that, well, it just sucks. No one can replace your dad but your mom is here, so am I, Uncle Spangles, Uncle Rhodey and Uncle Happy. So many people are gonna look after you and love you and keep you safe, I promise you that from the bottom of my heart.”

******

They left the Cathedral and the Media Circus behind, heading upstate to Tony’s lake house home arriving little under an hour or so later. Now, the remaining Avengers plus Rhodey, Happy, Pepper and Morgan were sat in Tony’s living room, as instructed, whilst everyone waited outside for the final part of the day’s ceremony whereby Pepper was going to release the wreath containing the arc reactor onto the lake, only this one would be attended by friends, family and those who had worked with Tony only. No public, no press.

A few people in the room knew what was coming when the helmet’s eye slits glowed with a bright white light, some didn’t. But no one jumped, they were that used to Tony’s theatrics that it didn’t come as a surprise.

A holographic Tony was pictured, sitting the wrong way around on a chair, elbows resting over the back of it and Katie realised he was wearing the same suit he had been wearing in the message he had left for her and Steve.

“So, err, hey!” Tony spoke, a smile flashing on his face. “I’m gonna keep this short, as we all know I don’t really like attention.” At that quiet laughter rang round the room and Steve dropped a hand onto Katie’s shoulder where she was sat on the couch, Jamie sat next to her, his hand wrapped around Morgan’ s.

“Everybody wants a happy ending, right? But it doesn’t always roll that way. Maybe this time. I’m hoping if you play this back, it’s in celebration. I hope families are reunited, I hope we get it back, and something like a normal version of the planet has been restored.”

Katie reached up and took hold of Steve’s hand where it rest on her shoulder and he gave her fingers a gentle, reassuring squeeze.

“If there ever was such a thing.” Tony continued, scratching his chin. “God, what a world. Universe, now. If you told me ten years ago that we weren’t alone, let alone, you know, to this extent,” he shook his head, “I mean, I wouldn’t have been surprised. But come on, you know? The epic forces of darkness and light that have come into play.”

Even in the hologram Steve could see the glint in Tony’s eyes, almost portraying the innocent wonder of a child that had discovered something exciting for the first time. “And, for better or worse, that’s the reality Morgan and her cousins are gonna have to find a way to grow up in.”

Tony stilled slightly and his hand wiped over his mouth as he took a deep breath.

“So I thought I’d probably better record a little greeting… In the case of an untimely death,” Tony gestured outwardly with his hand, “ on my part. I mean, not that, death at any time isn’t untimely. This time travel thing that we’re gonna try and pull off tomorrow, it's– it’s got me scratching my head about the survivability of it all. That’s the thing.” Tony’s hand rest against his mouth for a moment, the way it always had when he had been contemplating something before he shrugged and continued. “Then again, that’s the hero gig. Part of the journey is the end.”

At that Katie took a shuddering breath and her fingers tightened around Steve’s as Tony got up off his chair and walked towards the camera. 

“What am I even trippin’ for? Everything’s gonna work out exactly the way it’s supposed to.” He leaned forward, hands on his knees and smiled, and then somehow his hologram looked directly at her. “To the stars and back.” Before it turned and looked straight at Morgan. “I love you three-thousand.”

The hologram faded, the eye sockets of the helmet died down, and for a horrible moment Katie was reminded of seeing the light of the Arc Reactor going out in Tony’s chest on the battle field, when she had seen the life drain from his eyes. She took a shaky breath and Steve dropped a kiss to the crown of her head.

“He always said he’d be the VIP at his own funeral.” Katie broke the silence as she wiped her tears, laughter breaking through the sniffing as the people in the room wiped their eyes.  

“I err,” Pepper cleared her throat, “let’s set the wreath on the lake. Then we can all have a few drinks and make Tony the centre of attention at a party, just how he liked it.”

They made their way outside, Pepper, carrying the wreath in one hand, heading up the line with Morgan followed by Rhodey and Happy, then Katie, Steve and their kids.

They reached the end of the jetty, and Pepper crouched besides Morgan and then she turned to look at Katie. Katie nodded to her, her eyes misting over, before she watched her sister-in-law and niece drop the wreath onto the lake. It landed with a soft splash and began to gently drift away in the wind. Steve stood with his arm round Katie, Jamie balancing on his other hip as he watched the wreath float across the water. Katie lay her head against Steve’s shoulders, allowing her silent tears to fall.

After a moment or two she raised her head slightly to glance at the people stood around, all saying their final good byes. Peter Parker, May Parker, Thor, Bruce Banner, Doctor Strange, Wong, Scott Lang, Hope Van Dyne, Janet Van Dyne, Hank Pym, Peter Quill, Nebula, Rocket, Groot, Drax, Mantis, T'Challa, Okoye, Shuri, Clint Barton & his family, Wanda, Bucky, Sam, and Harley Keener who Katie had met in Tennessee. Her eyes narrowed a little as she saw Secretary Ross next but then she instantly felt herself smiling again as she saw Maria Hill, Carol Danvers, and finally Nick Fury.

All people who had in some way or other loved, lived, laughed or fought alongside her brother, and seeing them today made her feel warm, just like she had at Natasha’s service. 

Katie smiled as she realised they were the real proof that Tony Stark had a heart. Them, and billions of other people who had been brought back to life thanks to his bravery. 

Eventually, in their own time, everyone drifted from the jetty but the Rogers-Stark family remained put a little longer, until the wreath had practically hit the middle of the lake when Jamie announced he was hungry. With a chuckle they all turned back towards the house and where the food was laid out, people already tucking in. 

Katie couldn’t tell you how long passed. But she found herself alone, simply watching Morgan and Jamie as they sat with Happy on the porch. She caught the words cheeseburgers and smiled to herself before a deep voice drew her attention.

“Little Stark.” Katie turned and Thor pulled her forward into a strong yet gentle hug “I am so very sorry I couldn’t…” “Stop.” Katie shook her head “There’s nothing to be sorry for. This was his choice.”

“I just wish I could have stopped him that day in Wakanda. Then we wouldn’t-” “Don’t torture yourself Thor.” Katie shook her head, “We’ve all done enough of that for the past five years.”

He sniffed and nodded, before looking out over the lake “I’m going travelling again.” He informed her “Back to space.” “Yeah?” She smiled.

He nodded, “with the Guardians. We can be the-” he paused before he laughed “-the Asgardians of the Galaxy. Yes, I think I will suggest that to them.”

“I’m sure they’ll love it!” Katie grinned.

“I’m going to leave Valkyrie in charge of New Asgard. She doesn’t know it yet but she’s the natural one for the job” He concluded, nodding.

“I’m all for women in positions of power.” Katie smiled. “I’m sure she’ll be great.” “You’ll have to keep in touch with her, take the Captain and the Little Rogers, including the one you have on the way.” Thor looked at her, knowingly.

“How did you-” she began but he cut her off with a chuckle.

“I’m the god of Thunder.” He shrugged simply “Some things are beyond your Earthly senses, but not mine.”

Katie smiled, her eyes flicking down to her stomach. “Bruce brought it back. But we just didn’t think it was right telling everyone, not until the funerals were out of the way.”

Thor nodded. “I understand. Your secret is safe with me.” He gave her another hug before she pulled back, tears in her eyes knowing this was a goodbye.

“You will stay in touch this time, right?” “Of course.” Thor smiled, gently touching the side of her neck in a sign of affection. “Always, Little Stark.”

And with that he turned and headed over the grass to the group of Guardians. Katie turned back to find her kids, but suddenly a wave of nausea overtook her and she sprinted back into the house and into the bathroom.

Meanwhile Steve was stood with Bruce. Neither of them had meant to get into the discussion they were having at the moment but, well, it was inevitable really.

“We have to take them back.” Bruce sighed. “It’s been weighing on my mind for a while now…” “I know.” Steve said, his eyes straying to where Emmy was stood talking to Peter Parker. He turned back to the man and looked up at him. “How long do you think it will be before you can get it running?” “Well, now Hank Pym is back, Scott doesn’t think it will be a problem. A week or so, maybe. They have a Quantum Tunnel we can extrapolate and plenty of particles so, we can even do it in a few different trips if needs be.”

Steve nodded. “Well do what you need to do, once it’s up and running we’ll formulate a proper plan.” Bruce nodded, and was about to speak again until a loud yell caught Steve’s attention.

“Daddy!” Jamie stood up, pointing to the house. “The baby made momma sick again.”

There was a pause as pretty much everyone on the lawn turned to look at Steve who hung his head giving a groan that their three year old had effectively outed them to the entire funeral party.

“Baby?” Bruce’s eyes widened. “You mean, the snap? It…” Steve nodded. “We didn’t want anyone to know, not yet, the funerals.” He sighed “Guess that ship just sailed.” Bruce’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m glad…I concentrated so hard on everything…” “I know.” Steve layed his hand on his arm. “And thank you…but I gotta…” he jerked his thumb towards the house and strode across the lawn, ignoring the questioning looks he was getting. As he did so his son’s face changed from one full of concern to worry.

“Daddy are you mad? Did I do something wrong?”

Steve cursed himself at being so easy to read. “No, buddy, you didn’t.” He crouched down.

“Momma’s sick.” Jamie urged him.

“I know, I’m gonna go find her and make sure she’s okay.” Steve assured him. “You stay here with Happy.”

He headed into the house and up to the bathroom, gently knocking on the door.

“Sweetheart?”

She opened the door and he looked at her, her face was streaked with tears and he sighed. “C’mere.” He opened his arms and she fell into them, his large hands rubbing at her back.

“I wanna go home.” She sniffled. “I’ve had enough, I’m so tired.” “Then we’ll go.” Steve nodded, pulling away slightly to look at her. “And you can sleep as long as you want.”

She sniffed. “Best say goodbye to everyone.” “Oh erm, yeah, you should know, erm, Jamie just told everyone about the baby. He didn’t mean it, but…” Katie let out a soft groan that almost turned into a chuckle as she pressed her forehead against Steve’s collar bone. “To be honest I’m surprised he kept it quiet for so long.” She mumbled and Steve chuckled. “It’s probably my fault” Steve said as she wrapped her arms round his waist. “I told him this morning when you were being sick that it was just the baby doing it so when he saw you run off before he just shouted to me that the baby had made you sick again.” “Well he’s not wrong.” She mumbled, pulling back. She looked up at her husband who smiled at her, his blue eyes soft. “Take me home, Soldier.”

“Yes Ma’am.” He smiled back, dropping a kiss to her forehead.

***** Later that night, the house was quiet. Bucky and Sam had headed off to some bar with Happy and Rhodey. Steve had turned the invite down, he wanted to be at home with his family. They lay in bed, Katie’s head resting on his chest, his hand gently carding through her hair.

“I’ve decided something.” Steve said, kissing Katie’s head.

“What?” She asked with a yawn.

“After the battle, I spoke to Fury. Told him I was quitting, that I didn’t want to be Captain America anymore, and he said that the world still needs Cap and I guess he’s right, it’s an important symbol to America and the world.” “So, you are gonna carry on?” Katie asked, moving so she could look up at him.

“No.” Steve shook his head firmly “I’m done. I’m gonna pass the shield down.”

“Not Bucky” Katie stated instantly and Steve frowned.

“Why do you say that?”

“He’s been fighting for so long.” Katie shrugged. “And you know he’d do anything for you. He’d take that shield if you asked, but that doesn’t mean that he wants it. I just, I dunno, I think he needs to find his own way for a while.” Steve contemplated what she was saying, she was right, of course. She always was. And, if he was honest, he’d gone through the same thought process himself. Other than Sam, Bucky didn’t really know the other Avengers (or what’s left of them) so how could he truly lead them? As Steve knew only too well, trust has to be earned, plus they all knew about his past, as did the public. Even if they were all willing to overlook and forgive it, he wasn’t sure Bucky himself was.

And, to be honest, Steve wasn’t sure his best friend ever would.

“Well that leaves one obvious candidate.” He stated, looking down at Katie. “Sam.”

Katie smiled “Sammy deserves it. He had non self-serving reason to let us in that time we showed up in DC, although he probably had a few second thoughts when a metal arm ripped through his car roof and tore out the steering wheel.” Steve gave a snort as she took a deep breath. “But he never left us. Even after Leipzig. He’s loyal to a fault, a good man and…” “He’s human. Not enhanced.” Steve finished, following her train of thought.

“Exactly. After everything that’s happened I think the American public could use a little ‘normality’, well as far as they can. People will relate to Sam. He’s a natural born leader.”

“And proof that anyone can be a hero.” Steve mused.

“So are you.” Katie looked up at him. “Remember, you’re just a kid from Brooklyn.” Steve smiled at her, and dropped a kiss to her lips before she settled down again. “There is one tiny problem…” 

“What?” “Your shield bit the dust, big time.”

“Yeah.” Steve agreed, although he already had a perfectly good plan forming in his mind about where he could get another.

“Mind you, sure T'Challa will be happy to provide enough Vibranium to make him a new one” Katie gave another yawn. “Bruce can sort it in the lab.”

“Yeah.” Steve’s hand began once more running through her hair. He hated lying to her, but he had absolutely no intention of correcting her, or telling her what he was actually planning to do.

He couldn’t, it would kill her. 

Steve lay there in his own thoughts, long after Katie had fallen into an exhausted sleep, her body warm against his. He had watched her today. So brave, so strong. She was stronger than he could ever be and it scared Steve just how lost he would be without her, which, as he realised at the Cathedral before, was a reality he was going to have to face at some point.

Seeing Pepper say her goodbyes to Tony had made him suddenly think about what Katie had been saying regarding him not growing old as fast as she did. And there, sat on that wooden bench besides her, surrounded by other mourners, he had realised in a fit of horror that one way or another that he would be in Pepper’s position someday. He would outlast Katie, the serum would see to that. The sudden understanding had hit him like a tonne of bricks, almost making him sick.

And now, after speaking to Bruce before about the next step, his mind was finally made up. He couldn’t do it, couldn’t lose her like that.

What he was going to do instead would kill him, but it was a small price to pay to stave off the heartache he would feel later in life. Captain America was going to take that final mission, to put the stones back where they came from.

And he wouldn’t be returning, for a very long time.

 **** Chapter 61

**Original Posting**

[barnesandco]

Plzplzplzzzzz can you write a buckyxdeaf reader imagine, I just got my hearing aids after being diagnosed as moderate deaf a few months ago and there’s not enough of them imagines!!🥺 where reader gets her hearing aids or gets insecure about her deafness

Relearning

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: One very short allusion to the Winter Soldier. Insecurities about disabilities. Brief mention of a supporting character’s nightmares.

A/N: Thank you again for thinking of me for this request, nonny. I hope I was able to provide what you wanted. 

They day they arrive, your face falls like a confirmation of your worst anticipations. Hearing aids, as small and inconspicuous as possible, hidden if you close the fist you hold then in, lie on your palm, unassuming. Bucky's the only one who reads the tension in the hard way you've set you shoulders, and makes some indications to Steve that he picks up on immediately and clears out the common area. Nobody was staring in the first place -- only Tony had come up to the two of you at the chess table with the case in hand -- but Bucky knows you need your space, your time. He doesn't expect you to seek that distance away from him, too.

When the area is empty, you sit with Bucky's hand over one tightly clenched fist laid on the table, almost drawing blood, the other shaking furiously. He rises from his side to make his way to you, and you stand, too. But before he can get to you, you leave. Hearing aids in hand and tears barely held back, while Bucky feels as helpless as he ever has.

-----

Going back to his room, he thinks of when it all began. The explosion in Belarus a year ago, just before he could work up the courage to ask you out. The blast impaired your hearing and you started lip reading, made sure nobody approached you from behind. Refused to let Bucky learn sign language for your sake because you were convinced it would get better soon, even though he knew you were learning it yourself. Only, it didn’t, and the doctor’s appointments reinforced that idea, wrote it in concrete, and you tried to live with it regardless.

Naturally, you had to relent to medical opinion at some point, and you underwent further testing and Tony starting working on your hearing aids alongside a biomedical engineer from MIT named Hailey. This was the destination, and he suspected it would be hard to come to terms with, but he wished he had prepared for it better. If only he knew what to do.

-----

It takes you a full day to leave your room. The only reason Bucky doesn't break down your door is because Friday told him you're still eating.

When you emerge, it is a Saturday morning. Exercise hour. The morning is golden and yellow-green against the backdrop of the grounds the Sun has just risen over. Summer has sunk deep enough into early May's bones that the temperature is lukewarm.

He's hidden in the breakfast nook in the kitchen wearing ridiculous sheep patterned sweatpants -- Wanda's idea of a gag gift -- having opted out of the gym in hopes that you might reappear, and you do. Eyes bloodshot and red-rimmed, ethereal radiance dimmed but he accepts you to be the most wondrous person he knows even now.

Especially now, when you are hopefully able to utilize the sense that used to be impaired. The hearing aids look unusual on you, but only the way in which new things do. Something you do not recognize but are prepared to learn.

He watches you ready your breakfast. A couple of Wanda's blueberry muffins and jasmine tea. You love tea and he loves you. The crinkle in your nose, that he has missed so, as you wait for the water to boil. An itch behind your ear -- a new gesture, but just as endearing -- while the kettle simmers and hisses.

Still unaware of his presence, with your eyes focused elsewhere and ears not quite tuned to their aids, you sit at the kitchen island facing the window, the grass lawns, the fresh air seeping in through the opening. He watches you relish the morning on your face, your closed eyes and the curve of your lips loose and relaxed instead of in a frown like he last saw it. The moment is as still as ice, your forms frozen in glacier time, and Bucky, for all his hatred of the cold, would gladly stay in it if you'll let him be this close to you.

His own limbs release the stress in his shoulders slowly, springs unwinding in his marrow with creaks audible to his mind, and he  breathes a little slower, more naturally, more at ease now that you are here. His life vein, his gentle love.

The muffins are consumed slowly, your tongue peeking out to lick the last of their taste from your lips, the way Wanda's baking deserves to be savored. You nurse your tea in your hands for a long time, trying to take all the heat you can through the porcelain. Your fingers are always cold, Bucky knows. He has had too many tangled-bedsheet mornings, with your hands offering enough weight for him to feel but never enough for his skin to warm yours.

For a second, in between one rustle of the leaves in the border trees and the next, he forgets where he is, and loses himself in the memory of pressing your hands to his neck, letting you warm yourself by his collarbone and relishing in the hot goosebumps elicited by the movement of your hands down his abdomen.

But then you put your mug in the sink, and on instinct, Bucky rises and calls your name. Loud enough that he knows you'll hear him, but soft enough not to startle you. Everything is a delicate balance with you, a see-saw he is more than happy to keep in the air for you.

You're surprised to see him there, and you start to turn away, but Bucky speaks again.

"Please. Please, honey. Don't turn away," he pleads to your crestfallen expression, heart tearing at the seams. You need to understand that he is not going to give up on you for this, just like you've never turned away his metal arm.

Your hoarse voice, tired and sad in equal measure, says "Sorry." And you leave, again.

-----

Bucky does the only thing he can think of. He goes to Clint. The archer’s Bed-Stuy apartment emits sounds of vacuum cleaning and Bucky rings the bell twice before calling him. His phone bell is paired with his hearing aids, so he answers quickly, and lets Bucky in.

“You’re... cleaning,” Bucky states in a questioning voice, looking around at the apartment he has never seen in such a clean condition previously.

Clint clears his throat uncomfortably as he heads to the kitchen. “Yeah, Nat wanted to stay over for a bit and you know her...” he says with his face in the fridge, rummaging for Coca Cola, and indeed, Bucky does know. He knows of her clean-freak tendencies and the spate of nightmares she’s been having that might induce her to seek Clint’s comfort from the new, bad memories a mission in Moscow last month dredged up.

“So, to what do I owe this pleasure?” Clint asks pleasantly, forcing away the sympathetic sorrow in both of their minds.

Bucky blanches. He isn’t here for pleasantries, but he’s sure Clint will understand. “Could you teach me sign language?” Bucky asks back, and watches Clint consider the question. Clint knows about the recent arrival of your hearing aids, and your consequent insecurities. 

“Of course,” is the answer, and Bucky breathes a sigh of relief. Looks forward to learning something new. Something to bring him closer to you again.

-----

Bucky spends a month with his heart aching whenever you pass by him, thankfully no longer hiding away but still refusing to let him in, and he tries to invest his energy into showing you he loves you still, loves you always, and he does not think any lesser of you. 

Clint is patient. It takes Bucky’s hands a while to get used to the smooth, elegant flow of fingers to fist, to shape, to mold into meaning because he is so used to using his words. All that time with the mask has made him grateful for every letter he gets the chance to utter, but he will gladly give it up for you. If this sacred tongue that involves no tongue at all, that relays meaning through the extension of his forefinger, thumb and pinky from a fist -- love -- and the hand over his face -- beautiful -- and two peace signs joined at the top -- partner -- is what it takes to be yours, he’ll practise till you smile again.

-----

It takes another month for you to sit across from him at the chess table he has been waiting at since your hearing aids arrive. You hesitate by your chair. Bucky lifts his hands.¨

Flat right hand over the center of his chest. Clockwise arc. Please.

Thank you. Your fingers go from touching your lips to bringing your hand forth in a flat palm in front of him. Once you’ve sat down, Bucky rolls out the chess pieces, and you set them up.

Bucky watches you with scared scrutiny, praying for no wrong moves. Once the pieces are set up, you make your move, and then wait for Bucky. I love you, he signs, while the hubbub of the common area falls away. The world is silent save for the screaming brightness of your face. His only melody. His quiet choir. His silent muse.

I love you, too, you sign, and reach across the table to take his hand. Your smile is shaking, like it’s holding the weight of worlds, and Bucky takes the burdens away, leaning across to kiss your lips. The moment is a bubble of wonder, of marvellous adoration, where the air holds its breath. Your hands find Bucky’s hair as his come up to cradle your jaw gently. A metal finger traces over a hearing aid while his thumb strokes over your cheekbone. Stronger smiles form against each other’s lips. This is what home feels like. 

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

Déjà vu

Character: Bucky Barnes x Tall!Reader

(There really isn’t any plot based around the reader’s height. But I wanted to highlight it because there’s not enough tall girl representation. And that’s that.)

Summary: Bucky thought his days of memory loss were done. But after a serious head injury, he can’t seem to remember anything past his time in Wakanda. But he’s starting feel like his life is missing more than just memories.

Word Count: 3,000 - One Shot

Bucky could hear people arguing. Why did it sound like they were all hovering above him?

It definitely wasn’t helping his excruciating headache. His skull felt like it was trying to split in half.

“Could you all just shut up?” He grumbled.

Finally he found the urge and strength to open his eyes.

When he blinked his vision back into focus and slowly sat up, everything around him went quiet.

Steve, Tony, Natasha, and Sam were all watching him with concern.

“What the hell are you all looking at?” Bucky asked.

“Buck,” Steve stepped forward. “Do you remember what happened to you?”

He blinked, realizing now that he didn’t. “Umm…”

“You got knocked the fuck out,” Tony chimed in.

“Tony,” Steve warned with a glare. Then his eyes softened when the turned back to his friend. “Bucky, what’s the last thing you remember?”

Bucky’s headache was getting worse as he tried to remember. “I…I don’t remember.”

“Shit,” Sam muttered under his breath as he crossed his arm.

Suddenly a doctor came in, looking relieved to see Bucky awake.

“Sergeant Barnes,” she greeted. “Glad to see you’re up.”

Bucky narrowed his eyes at her. The way she was talking to him was all too familiar, too informal. Like she knew him as more than just a patient.

“Who’s this?” Bucky asked Steve.

The group shared a look.

Then he looked around the room, not recognizing anything. “Where the hell am I? Is this a hospital?”

“Bucky, you’ve known Dr. Maxfield for almost two years…” Steve finally spoke. “You’re at the Avengers compound.”

“In Midtown?” Bucky asked as he looked out the window to see nothing but trees, grass, and other low-level buildings.

“No, Bucky. We’re Upstate.” Nat sighed. “This is not good.”

——————————————— Everyone kept tossing around the word amnesia.

But Bucky was worried it was something more – something that Hydra hid away in his brain. Yeah, Shuri had cured him. She was certain of it. But maybe Hydra left something else in there if everything else failed, like a reset button.

But it just didn’t go off right.

Bucky felt fine. But it was everyone else’s concerning looks that were stressing him out. 

Even the Avengers looked at him with love and care. He hardly knew them.

Apparently, he was wrong. In the past 5 years, they’d become his comrades, his friends, his family.

And he couldn’t remember any of it.

He only knew them as his two sides of a fight. A fight that he had caused. A fight that forced Steve to split all his friends in half.

That’s what Bucky remembered.

Then Wakanda came after, the only peace he’d known recently.

He couldn’t put a time on how long he’d been in the African country. He also couldn’t remember leaving.

“We were on a mission. You took a blast to the chest,” Steve had to take a moment before he continued. “I’ve never seen someone a hit like that. I was convinced you broke your neck and you’d be dead when I got to you.”

Bucky could hear it in his best friend’s voice: Steve had been terrified.

“I’m fine, punk.” He tried to assure him.

“But you’re not fine. You can’t remember the last 5 years of your life.

“Well, from what you’re all telling me, I wasn’t a brainwashed assassin killing people for Hydra. So, things could be worse.” Bucky smirked.

But Steve was only glaring at him in return. “That’s not funny.”

“Really? I thought it was pretty funny.”

“We’ll figure this out,” Steve thought aloud. “You’ve got your memories back before. You can do it again.”

Bucky was a little taken aback by Steve’s insistence. He hadn’t acted this way last time a similar situation occurred.

Then Bucky realized...last time there were more memories that he hadn’t wanted to remember than there were good ones.

With the way Steve was acting, it was like there things Bucky would regret not remembering.

————————————

Bucky and Sam were sparring.

He’d been spending more time with the man, starting to believe like he was the only person that didn’t make him feel bad for not remembering their friendship.

Bucky started to figure out that the two of them must’ve grown really close over the years. It’s like he could sense it.

The doors of the training room opened.

They’d had the place to themselves, deciding to train at an odd hour.

In walked a young woman.

She was taller than most women. Hell, she was taller than most men. But her shoulder’s were pulled back and she almost glided in with the confidence of an Amazon warrior. Her hair was pulled back, and she was only wearing a black sports bra with her black leggings. Clearly she was there to train too.

Bucky stopped his movements and did a double take at her entrance.

When he looked back at Sam, his gaze was flickering back and forth between Bucky and the girl. But Bucky couldn’t read his face.

“Who’s that?” Bucky asked.

Sam’s jaw clenched. “That’s Y/N. She’s an agent. One of Fury’s.”

Then she noticed the two men and she stopped her entrance.

It was like her and Sam were having a silent conversation. But, without a single word, she quickly turned around and left the training room.

A wave of a guilt washed over him.

Was she scared of him? After 5 years, was he still only the Winter Soldier to the world? Maybe he should’ve stayed in Wakanda. Why had he left in the first place?

“I should actually…” Sam didn’t even finish his sentence before he quickly rushed after the woman.

Bucky didn’t question him or follow. But he did keep thinking about Y/N, wondering why it had been so hard to take his eyes off of her.

——————————-

“She doesn’t talk much,” Bucky muttered quietly to Steve.

He’d ask Bucky to watch the new trainees. “If you can train with a bunch of Winter Soldiers, maybe you can help some of the youngsters out,” Steve had teased him.

But Bucky had only promised to watch from a distance. He didn’t think he was in any place to teach anybody anything.

“Who?” Steve asked without taking his eyes off the recruits.

“The tall, beautiful one,” Bucky nodded subtly in her direction. No one was close enough to eavesdrop. “Y/N,” he added.

She was standing with a couple of the other instructors/agents. But she was the only one not giving any commands. Every so often, she’d show someone how to fix their form. But it was usually silently, only adjusting their body in the correct way.

Steve quickly looked at him. “You know her?”

“Sam told me her name. A few weeks ago, she walked out of the training room as soon as she saw me there. I’m guessing she doesn’t like me very much.”

He was waiting for Steve to shed light on the situation, even just confirm or deny Bucky’s suspicion. But Steve stayed quiet.

After a few minutes, Steve cleared his throat. “She doesn’t talk much because of her ability.”

Bucky’s brow furrowed. “What’s her ability?”

Steve seemed to be having an internal battle on how much or little to tell Bucky. “Psychic seduction through pheromones.”

“Excuse me?”

Steve sighed. “Mind control, Bucky. She can control people with a simple verbal suggestion. She tells people to do something and they have no choice but to do it.”

Mind control. It should’ve scared Bucky more. She embodied the exact thing that had ruined his life and made the world hate him. Everything he still feared, she was capable to executing at any given moment.

But when he looked at her, he didn’t feel any fear.

“Doesn’t look like people are too scared of her…” Bucky observed.

“That’s because most people don’t know. And if they do, they’ve never actually seen her use it.”

Now Bucky was curious. “And have you? Ever seen it, I mean.”

“Yeah,” Steve answered darkly. “Then I saw why she doesn’t want people to know.”

As if she could feel people looking at her and talking about her, Y/N looked over at them. Her gaze locked with Steve’s for a moment before she quickly turned her back on them. “You two friends?” Bucky asked.

“We were,” Steve answered. His tone was sad, but Bucky could tell he was trying to hide it. “She prefers to keep to herself. That’s just how she’s chosen to do deal with it.”

————————————————

A couple months went by and not a single memory from the past five years had come back to Bucky. 

It seemed like his friendships with the team had rebounded faster than he ever expected them to.

“Just because you’ve forgotten them, doesn’t mean they’re going to stop caring about you,” Steve had told Bucky when he seemed confused by it all.

Even with the memories missing, Bucky felt like there was something bigger missing from his life.

He couldn’t fathom what it could possibly be. His life was better than he could’ve ever imagined.

 The Avengers had opened their home to him, welcomed him to their dysfunctional family. Some of the public even considered him a hero.

So why did Bucky still feel like he was missing something? Or was it someone?

Even with all the time that had passed since his recovery in Wakanda, Bucky still couldn’t sleep most nights.

He’d remembered Nat saying something about a pool the other day.

Bucky couldn’t remember the last time he went swimming. So, when he was faced with another sleepless night, he figured he wouldn’t bother spending it tossing and turning.

When he got to the giant indoor pool, the only lights on were those coming from under the water. It made the whole place glow blue.

Except it looked like someone had a similar idea to Bucky.

They were doing laps back and forth.

Despite how fast they were moving, he could at least tell it was a woman in the water.

They stopped at the end Bucky was standing near and gripped the edge to take a moment to rest.

Bucky’s heart sped when he realized it was Y/N.

After all this time, they still hadn’t had a single conversation. But he found himself always looking for her. When he entered a crowed room, she was the first face he searched for. When anyone mentioned her in conversation, he would eavesdrop and try to learn as much about her as he could.

It seemed all the Avengers had been close with her – or still were, like Nat and Sam. But whenever Bucky tried to subtly ask either of them about her, they would always try to change the subject.

Sensing someone was watching her, Y/N looked up from the water.

For once, she didn’t glare at him. She just seemed surprised to see him.

“I’ll go,” Bucky quickly told her. “You were here first.”

But she was already pulling herself out of the water.

The motion made all of her muscles flex and show off her strength, making Bucky stare longer and more intensely at her body than he should’ve.

Bucky should’ve been used to women’s bathing suits in this time period.

Y/N was wearing a one piece, but it was cut so high in the hips and so low in the front that it left little to the imagination.

Bucky didn’t think her legs could be any longer, but the bathing suit was showing him how wrong he was.

Her height was something Bucky still hadn’t gotten over. He saw how it made the majority of men around her cower or desexualize her. Some of them overlooked her for the petite and overtly feminine women. They seemed to hate how she made them look and feel less manly.

Bucky thought those men were idiots.

Y/N didn’t say anything as she walked past him to grab a towel.

“Do you hate me?” Bucky’s mouth betrayed him.

She froze.

“I know there are people who still…I can’t remember everything still.” Then he paused and took a breath. “I’m just trying to figure out if I did something to you…when I was him – no, when I was it.” He rubbed one of his temples. “Did I hurt someone you cared about?”

She watched him struggle for a moment.

But then she gave a stiff shake of her head.

Bucky exhaled with relief. But he knew he wasn’t in the clear. There was still some sort of tension between them.

“You really are shy, huh?” He tried to be playful.

But this just made her scowl at him.

Bucky decided he never wanted to be on the receiving end of that look again.

“I’m not shy,” her voice was loud and clear. And there was nothing shy about it.

“Quiet then,” Bucky offered, still trying to tease her.

“I talk when I need to,” she replied curtly.

He could tell she wanted to leave this conversation. Hell, she tried to run out as soon as she saw him.

But she was giving him a chance to say one last thing. She lingered long enough for it.

Except Bucky was suddenly rendered speechless.

If the Winter Soldier hadn’t effected her life in some way, why did he get the sense that she wanted absolutely nothing to do with him?

Yes, Steve was right when he said she liked to keep to herself. But Bucky had seen her talking to Nat and Sam. He’d seen her laugh. It had made him smile without even being able to hear it because he was so far away. So why couldn’t he be a part of that?

Y/N decided his time was up. “Goodnight, James.”

She passed him without another glance.

“James…” he repeated in a whisper after she’d gone. 

No one called him that here. Not even Steve. It was either Bucky or Sergeant Barnes, which he hated. He didn’t feel worthy of that title anymore, he hadn’t for awhile.

———————————————————

“Barton’s with me,” Tony started calling out teams. “And Barnes is with Y/L/N.”

Steve immediately interrupted and gave a warning look, “Stark!”

“I don’t need a buddy,” Y/N stated evenly.

But Bucky didn’t miss the look her and Steve shared.

“Well, we’re doing the buddy system. You two used to work together swimmingly.” He smirked as Y/N gave him a death glare. “Plus, I pay for everything, so you have to listen to me.”

Bucky could tell that it was taking every single ounce of power for Y/N not to tackle Stark. Even Steve looked like he was ready to play defense.

Before that could happen, Steve dragged Tony to the other side of the jet. Far enough away and too quiet for Bucky to make out any words, but he could tell Steve was pissed.

“I promise I won’t get in your way,” Bucky told Y/N gently when no one else was paying attention to them.

She ignored him.

Bucky took the lead as they weaved in and out of the dark hallways.

There was a shut door at the end. They could both hear at least a dozen men talking amongst themselves on the other side. It was the control room, therefore everyone in there was also carrying at least 3 firearms and a couple of grenades.

Bucky gave her a look that asked if she was ready.

She didn’t look at all stressed or like she was going through the same adrenaline rush that Bucky always did on missions.

But she nodded her head.

Bucky kicked open the door.

Y/N stepped past him so he could only look at her back.

“Everybody freeze,” Y/N yelled.

To Bucky’s shock, not a single muscle so much as twitched.

“All of you, put your weapons on the center of the table,” she talked quietly and calmly, now that she had their attention.

They all had utter fear in their eyes and their bodies responded to the command without their consent.

Bucky slowly lowered his gun as he watched it all.

Y/N eyed him.

Her posture changed suddenly. “You,” she pointed to one of the men. “Stand up.”

He obeyed.

“Pick up that gun,” she pointed to one of the twenty something guns on the table. He obeyed. “Load the chamber,” the gun clicked. “Put the gun in your mouth,” his hand shook as he had no choice but to do as she said. Bucky was breathing heavily.

“I changed my mind. Point it at his head,” she nodded toward a man on the other side of the table.

He obeyed.

Her voice was quick and emotionless.

Both the man with the gun and the man he was aiming at were shaking, eyes filled with tears. All free will had been sucked from them.

Y/N then turned toward Bucky.

She gave him an expression that dared him to tell her to stop.

He stayed silent.

“Put the gun down,” she finally relieved her victim. “All of you, stay in here until exactly 11:09 tomorrow morning. If anyone tries to leave…shoot them.”

Bucky followed her out.

“Control room has been infiltrated. They’ll be waiting and ready to comply when SHILED comes to apprehend them,” Y/N spoke into her comms.

“Nicely done, kid,” Tony was the only one to acknowledge her.

Y/N gave Bucky a look. “Still want to be friends with me?” She challenged.

Bucky knew what she was trying to do. He knew that she was trying to scare him, to push him away. She was telling him to drop all and any efforts of trying to get to know her.

It wasn’t until they were on the jet home that he sat down next to her, looking straight ahead, and said, “You don’t scare me.”

-------------

Part 2

I know I shouldn’t be writing one-shots when I have a series to finish. But I was bored and then I got inspired and I couldn’t help myself.  Let me know what you think.