#steve eats that good kitty

[sideblog-ver3]

pleasure eating (18+)

(steddie) (club bang) (big dick steve) (spider webs)

“i am the happiest creature in the world. perhaps other people have said so before, but not one with such justice. i am happier even than jane; she only smiles, i laugh.” the words got a bit blurry after that.

he kept teasing you. his lips were kissing you over your panties, the cotton growing wet from spit and arousal. you rolled your lips as your fingers split between worn pages. the bottom of your tank top riding up higher as steve’s hands pushed the fabric closer to your chest, knees bent with socked feet sitting along his moving shoulder blades.

his pointed nose toyed with your lonely clit, just a small barrier keeping you from that bliss that’s bubbling in your lower stomach. your breath hitched, eyes fluttering, “ste- steve…” just saying his name.

he leaned just an inch away, his breath ghosting over you as he huffed for a moment, “yes, baby?” acting like he didn’t know what you were needing in this moment.

you licked your lips and shifted your hips slightly, “can- can you take my underwear off? and- and actually…” not feeling brave enough to say the words aloud.

steve hummed as he pressed a featherlight kiss to your inner thing, really close. “and actually what?” but he did allow his fingers to hook into the band and start to tug them free, not even bothering to lift your hips up.

you didn’t want his teasing any longer, “eat my pussy. please?” laying your book open on your chest so you can look down at him.

his ruffled growing hair sticking in different directions and his lips wet, you released a shaky exhale at the sight. he smiled cockily, “all you had to say.”

immediately his mouth devoured at your hole, his tongue swiping and poking. his sculpted nose adding that extra touch, his warm palms rubbed over your stomach. he hummed at your taste, you panted at his exquisite pleasure he was providing you.

“yes, yes, oh. oh, more- more tongue.” you threw your head back to the arm rest of your small couch. book forgotten as you let your digits curl into steve’s hair and hold into a vice grip, thrusting your hips for more relief.

when a sweet nip to your clit made you gasp, you saw how steve was rubbing himself against the couch. his cock lonely and forgotten, but you know he gets off from just eating you. you’ll give him a treat after yours.

the pleasure was starting to build, feeling more tight and hotter. your thighs shook as you tried to keep them open, but submitted to them snapping shut against the side of steve’s head. he’s probably enjoying the tight space.

“ste- steve, yes, yes. i- i’m gonna-“ you didn’t finish as that wave crashed the shore and you screamed in ecstasy, back arching into the air.

he kept sucking away, not giving up even as you squirmed in a growing pain from a possible second orgasm. sounds of ‘ah ah ah’ and small cries kept the living room noisy, along with steve’s loud eating and his own moaning.

just when it was too much to bear steve pulled his mouth off and sunk his teeth into your inner thigh, that second orgasm was pulled out. “your such a good boy,” whispered as you stroked his face when you saw the shine over his chin and milky cum leaking from his tip when he sat up.

you threw your book to the ground and pushed yourself into him so he was now laying down. his thick cock between your bodies as you tasted yourself on his devilish tongue. you let your right hand drop to his lonely, red cock and wrapped your fingers snug around him. he hissed.

“gonna give you another since i got two,” breathed into him mouth as you started to kiss down his neck.

you started slow, teasing him like you did earlier. his cum acting as the lube and your added spit glob when you started to work faster, tugs getting stronger when you tried to let your fingertips meet around his girth. his stomach clenched with each shallow breath he took, his happy trail growing darker each day.

“close, i’m- i’m close.” he whispered, nails digging into your hips as he held you close.

“just let go for me. want to see that pretty cum of yours, gonna let you fill me up later.” and that got him to groan deeply, hips rutting with your thrusts. he shot over your fingers and his lower stomach, a picture imprinted into your mind.

you leaned in so your tongue could get to work cleaning him up, his sensitive tip twitching with the warm hole of your mouth. “good boy,” giving it another sweet kiss

[evenmyhivemindisempty]

Two beers and a puppy for the Holbrook characters?

(Based on this post.)

Ooh okay, SO this is possibly my most subjective ask thus far?? I feel like everyone’s gonna have their own comfort levels for each of these (and I genuinely do wanna know what y’all’s responses are!). For the sake of keeping it more personal, I’m gonna do two beers and my dearly beloved cat vs a hypothetical puppy! Which… I do think cats are less work than puppies, so maybe that changes things a little but… here we go!

Steve Murphy: Two beers with Steve is not a tall order. He’s maybe not someone I’d be interested in being besties with, but I’d be down to get to know him for a few hours and see how I feel after. I’m sure he’s got some decent stories, and if nothing else, he seems like he’d be a good listener if I wanted to talk. I would 100% trust him to watch my cat. No question. I’m not sure he’d play with her like she likes, but she’d be fed and watered and appropriately stimulated twice a day just like I asked. The litter would be cleaned out when I got back.

Donald Pierce: I’d totally get two beers with him, not because I think he’d be fun to go out drinking with (probably not) but because I’m a slut for Donald Pierce and I’m thinking with my downstairs head where he’s concerned. *Tentatively yes* for watching my cat. I actually would probably hesitate more if it was a puppy, but cats are easier, and I think he can follow instructions to the letter, although he might “forget” to empty the litter. But hey, it’s just a weekend. I also feel like Pierce is a cat guy for some reason. He melts for a friendly kitty!

Cap Hatfield: Yes and yes, but a little begrudgingly to both. I’m sure he’d be fine to get beers with, but I can also see us awkwardly sitting in silence for a good bit while I struggle to come up with interesting questions for him (I foresee a lot of one-word answers from Cap. Not even to be rude! Just. It is how he is sometimes!) For the latter: I do think Cap can be responsible but… he also wouldn’t be my first choice for a pet sitter for some reason. I feel like he might be inclined to let her outside if she’s staring at a bird wistfully enough.

Clement Mansell: Oh I’d totally get two beers with him! And I’d be so into it when two beers becomes two shots becomes helping him cut lines of coke with my credit card. He’d be a blast to hit up clubs with! I’d just… try to stay out of the way if he caused a fight! I wouldn’t trust him to watch my cat. I don’t think he’d do anything malicious - in fact, I bet he’d play with her adorably - I just don’t trust he’d remember to show up and I don’t trust he wouldn’t steal something from my house while I was gone if the mood struck him.

The Corinthian: Haha! No and no. He might be fun to go out with, but I wouldn’t trust him to watch my drink, and I also bet he’d ditch me in an instant if he saw a hot twink… or worse, make me an accessory to the murder. No thanks! It’s funny - I don’t have the same immediate “hell no” gut reaction for pet sitting that I did with Clement, but ultimately I just don’t think I could trust the Corinthian enough to agree to it. She’s small and helpless!

Eli Klaber: Klaber would probably be fine to get two beers with, although maybe not more than that. I feel like Klaber’s impressionable enough that I could maybe use our conversation to steer him away from Voller’s rhetoric! Worth a shot! I would not let him watch my cat. Sorry, Klaber! I’m sure you’d give it your best, I just don’t trust you wouldn’t feed her something she couldn’t eat or like… bring by a bouquet of lilies to brighten up the house. Unlike Clement and Corinthian, I have no doubt Klaber would take his responsibility seriously. He’d try to be helpful! I just don’t know that that’s necessarily better in his case!

Danny Maguire: Having a drink with Danny does not seem fun! I feel like he’d get way too wild too quick, but not in a spirited and excitable way like Clement. I can see him trying to bully bartenders into giving him free drinks by throwing his dad’s name around. I would not trust him to watch my cat!

Ty Shaw: Yes and YES. This was the easiest decision of all of them. Ty would be my top pick of all these guys to get beers with (we’d have such a fun time! He’d scare away any creeps!) and he’s my top pick to watch my cat too! He might feed her extra treats, but he’d show up on the dot twice a day like asked, and he’d absolutely stick around and play with her until she was all pleasantly tuckered out and snoozing happily in his arms. He’d send so many cute status photos and videos.

Quinn McKenna: I… don’t think I’d want to get a beer with Quinn. I just don’t think I’d have fun! I would absolutely trust him to watch my cat though, and hell, maybe he’d teach her a new trick by the time I got back.

[justanother-janedoe]

Everywhere

(Chapter 1: Chocolate Chip Cookies)

Steve Harrington x F!Reader

Summary: Steve and the gang find some sweet treats at their doorstep along with a special guest.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1k

After finally buying an apartment for himself Steve felt proud. Saving enough money that he earned (by himself) he can finally call his place his own.

Well, his and Robins. Sharing the modest flat together.

Although there were a couple of disagreements on living arrangements it was nothing outside of their usual banter.

Other than that everything was perfect and it seemed like Steve's life was finally turning up.

What could possibly go wrong?

As Steve just got back from work, today being one of the days where Robin and him didn't share shifts, he felt off. Perhaps from the lack of Robin's rambling, or the kids surprising him from around the corner.

When he shared the news with the kids about their new apartment he didn't expect them to treat it like their new hangout zone. But it seemed that whenever he was just about to open the door, there they were making themselves at home.

Dustin even begged to get a copy of the keys which he firmly said no to. Yet the party always appears as if from thin air. Steve suspected they took his when he wasn't looking to get copied.

Though Steve wouldn't admit to it no matter the amount of taunting, he did feel better knowing what he would call his home wouldn't be synonymous with lonesome.

In times like today, it was nice to hang out by himself once in a while . Even as a social person Steve still had times when he liked peace and quiet. A dramatic difference between the "King Steve" people thought they knew at parties.

But today as he was walking up the stairs he had the feeling like in the beginning of a scary movie that someone, or thing was watching him.

Looking around he tried to keep his guard up. "Don't think about trying something. Cuz I got a bat... somewhere." he trailed off in a whisper as he tried thinking up a plan of defense.

Deciding to just get inside the apartment he tried reaching for his keys but just fumbled them in his hands till they fell to the floor.

 "Typical" he said under his breath reaching down till he noticed a pair of feline eyes staring back at him.

It was a black cat sitting atop of a Tupperware container.

While he could hear his mother now telling him of the bad omens and possible diseases a stray black cat could hold he wasn't a strong believer in superstitions.

"Hey kitty. It's okay." He said gently, worried the mysterious cat would scatter. Surprisingly the cat cuddled against Steve's leg. As if the feline were familiar with him.

"Oh. Okay well I guess your coming home with me." Steve said before looking at the cat's collar.

"Rhiannon. Interesting".

Grabbing the Tupperware, cat, and keys; Steve entering the small apartment.

As he put his stuff away he placed Rhiannon down as she walked around the apartment.

Looking in the refrigerator for some milk to feed the cat, Steve spoke to himself "Is there something about me that attracts strays.", thinking about the kids.

Speaking of which he heard the sound of the front door opening, turning around.

"Hey Steve, it's us!" Robin exclaimed as he heard the kids arguing about something, per usual.

"So much for quiet time." Steve said

"Oh please, you love us." Dustin said, sitting on the couch grinning at Steve.

"If there's something I love it's to keep the apartment clean. Feet off the coffee table heathens." Steve said

“Notice how a girlfriend isn’t on the list,” Mike added.

“You call us the heathens, but don’t think to share these delicious-looking cookies with your guests?!” Lucas said, opening the Tupperware.

“When did you bake?” Robin asked 

“I didn’t I just found those outside the apartment and-Why are you eating it?! We don’t even what’s in them, who made them or-”

“Relax Steve, it’s just a cookie. A really good cookie. I doubt anyone has ever died from eating one.” Max said, grabbing another. 

“-She said, her famous last words.”

“Well, it was worth it cuz these are amazing.”

“Cmon just try one Steve.” Robin said holding a cookie close to Steve’s face. 

“Wow never thought I’d be peer pressured by you” he said grabbing the cookie and finally just taking a bite. 

“Well?” 

“Okay, it’s good but I still don’t know where these came from. They were just sitting by the door.” Steve replied to a grinning Robin, reluctant to how oddly delicious the mysterious cookies were.

Lucas grabs the milk from Steve pouring himself a glass.

“Hey chill out with the milk. I’d like to remind you that you don’t live hear kid.”

“But I’m a growing boy. Gotta stay strong for varsity.”

“That is if you get off the bench,” Max says.

“I’m wounded woman,” Lucas says holding his hand to his heart and grinning at Max as they share similar light blushes. 

“Well regardless of if your playing or not I was using that,” Steve says grabbing the container back. 

“For what?” Robin asked.

“The cat.” “You guys got a cat?” “We have a cat?” “Since when” 

“Okay relax, relax. I just found a stray outside and was just gonna feed it.”

“Aww looks like the Tinman has a heart,” Dustin said 

“Ha ha” Steve said looking around the apartment for the cat.

“Here Rhiannon.”

“You named her?”

“No that’s what was on her collar,” Steve replied trying to lure the cat back out.

“What a cool name,” El said fascinated at the thought of a cat in the apartment.

“I’d be cool if I could find her. Wait did you guys leave the front door open again?! How many times have I told you. Close the door.” Steve said locking the front door.

“Maybe she left.”

“Yeah I guess so. Hopefully she’s okay.” Steve said feeling dejected.

“We’ll I’m sure she’ll show up again. No one can resist the Harrington charm.” Dustin said jokingly to which everyone rolls their eyes and went back to eating the mysteriously brought cookies.

Not noticing the sticky note that had once been attached to the Tupperware now scattered in the hallway with a message from their neighbor just across.

[lorifragolina]

Pretzel

Steve Harrington runs an animal shelter with his friend and fellow veterinary Robin. 

They have a joke between them: they often have to take in poor unfortunate abandoned pets, and they used to name them after the last thing Steve ate. All started years ago, when Robin came in with a rescued parrot and asked Steve how they should name it, who distractedly answered “Montecristo,” pointing at the half sandwich on his desk. Montecristo has been the shelter mascot since then and Robin, after laughing out loud for a good minute, declared the tradition set up. 

He finds a carton box this day on the clinic door, and there are Pretzel, Brownie and Caesar (salad), Steve’s lunch he just ate in the cafeteria at the corner. They are so tiny they can easily rest in Steve’s hands, they have to be bottle fed every four hours for some day until they can eat alone, and the red Pretzel is the real incarnation of the very Satan.

This fluffy demon is able to eat the entire prescription book on Robin’s desk, he learned how to open his cage at night and he plots new pranks everyday, bribing his sibling with the delicious treats Steve hides in his drawers. 

The kitty is on a shelf, adjusting his bottom to the distance, and then…

“Robin! The demon jumped on my head! Come and catch him!”

Robin runs in the room, laughing out loud. She takes the furious, hissing kitty and returns him in the cage, locking it with the complicated system of chains, sticks and duct tape they invented to keep him in. 

“It’s funny, he seems to attack only you,” Robin laughed, checking the scratches on Steve’s neck. 

“He hated me. I bottle fed him and he hates me,” whimpers Steve.

“Welcome to parenting,” Robin laughed again, disinfecting him.

A few days later, Pretzel is missing.

“Where is the little demon? The cage is closed!” Rambled Robin, inspected the shelf.

The little demon has been secretly and patiently breaking the bottom of the cage, ripping the wood and the plastic until he can fit in the hole and disappear.

“He can be everywhere! We left the door open when we cleaned before!” Robin was worried and angry with herself, they need to have a thousand eyes with all these little rascals inside… 

They turn everything but the cat isn’t there. Steve walked a hundred times the street back and forth, calling him, but without success. He asked their neighboring shops if they saw a little ginger cat that probably would try to kill them if they tried to catch him.

The only one he can’t advise is  the mechanic shop three doors down at the other side of the street. 

Steve has already seen the blonde, handsome mechanic, most of the time covered in car grease and a stupid sexy overall he leaves open on his chest, but he has neves spoken to him. He just stared at him most of the time, and at this moment the shop seems closed.

Steve and Robin wait and search all day for little Pretzel, but at a certain moment Robin has to clock out and go home, Steve stays for some paperworks.

An instant before, the bells on the door ring and Steve snorts. 

“Robin, what did you forget this time?”

“I’m not Robin and maybe I have something you want back���.

Steve raises his eyes and remains mouth wide open for a while.

The blonde, hot mechanic he likes to stare at is here in front of him, only this time he is perfectly cleaned and combed and his hair isn't covered in dark oil. Steve can smell the colony from his desk. 

The mechanic opens his jacket and shows a little ball of red fur, sleeping and purring against his chest. Steve has never seen Pretzel sleeping so peacefully and surely he has never heard him purring. 

The blonde man raises the cat to his face and rubs his face to the content kitty (when Steve tried to do it, he almost lost an eye), and the kitty seems to really smile at the blonde while mocking Steve with the corner of his eye.

“Hey princess!” Call the mechanic again. “Is he the kitty you were searching for? Mary from the cafe said something”.

Steve blinks and shakes, then nods.

“Yes, of course, he is! Thank you!”

“What’s his name?”

“Well, he is Pretzel…”

“Oh, really? I really, really love pretzels…” answered the mechanic, rubbing the cat more to him. “Is the little Pretzel available for adoption?”

Steve is fascinated by the hot man playing with the kitty, but he has to shake his head.

“Not now, Pretzel has a condition we need to treat. But when he will be ok, we can consider your offer”, he says, raising his hands to take the animal. He has to get near the mechanic, inside his personal space, and blushes and shivers when they touch each other. 

“Well, can I contribute to his treatments?” Insists the blonde.

“Well, it’s all covered really…”

“At least can I buy you a drink? I’m Billy, by the way”.

Steve puts Pretzel down in another cage, really hoping he could stay there for at least a night. He turns his back to Billy so he can’t see him blushing furiously.

“Well, okay…” he whispered, shivering a little and excited.

The drink rapidly becomes a sandwich and an ice cream, and a ride on Billy's vintage Camaro.

“Do you like it?” Says Billy. “I can take you for a ride, if you want”.

The next morning, Robin finds Steve already at his desk in the early morning. 

“Steve? Are you here so early? You look tired! Did you find Pretzel?”

Steve nodded.

“Steve? Are you wearing the same clothes of yesterday?”

“Oh, don’t be silly, Robin!”

The doorbell rings and Robin goes to speak with a man with a carton box. She returned putting the box with a mallard duck on the desk. 

“Look what people throw away nowadays… Well, Steve, did you have breakfast?”

Steve blushes and shakes his head slowly, lowering his eyes.

Robin is puzzled. “Well, we have to name that little one, what is the last thing you ate?”

Steve blushed even more, sinking in his chair.

“Billy. Her name is Billy”.

[buck-star]

Sydney 👀

Small Bites? 🤔

My brain immediately went to a reader biting Steve like an angry kitten and not food so I don't know what that says about me 😭

Ohhh! When I saw your ask I first thought that I have a vampire story. But no both no, though, your idea should be considered.

But actually it’s a bit trigger topic one. Has to do with eating disorders and Stevie helping out. Came into my mind when my anorexia wasn’t friendly, so this idea came up.

But Reader biting Steve like an angry kitten? Ohh definitely love it! Think it says as much about you as it’s says about me now.😏😂

“Don’t you–“ he wanted to say but your mouth hovered faster above his arm than he could move and your teeth sink into his skin. “Ow, kitten, naughty little cat, you know what bad kitties get?”

And oh damn, you know. And you can’t wait for his hand causing your ass to be all sore and red, his fingers visible on your cheeks. “Mhm mhmmm mhm.”

“Sounds like the naughty kitten gagged herself with my arm,” Steve chuckles when he tightens his hand around your neck to pull his arm from your mouth. “Be good, kitten.”

[hogwartsandhawkins]

Prove Me Wrong

Chapter 7: Pancakes and Meatloaf

Prove Me Wrong Masterlist

Summary: Billy meets Jess's cat, has dinner with her family, and seems to have a fine day, but Neil makes sure to ruin it.

Warnings: Neil making an appearance again. Child abuse. Mentions of hitting/slapping. Physical harm. Mental and verbal abuse. Threatening. Swearing. Please let me know if I missed anything. Also, not proofread.

Word Count: 5.6k

Author's note: This chapter goes out to my kitty, Waffle, who recently passed away. He was my homeboy since 5th grade, and though I renamed him in this pic considering the Stranger Things universe already had its own eggo enthusiast, he will always be my #1 waffle lover.

As always, eff Neil.

Jess dreaded the next morning, as she was convinced she needed to spend less time with Hargrove than she had allowed herself the past four days. Has it really only been four days? This realization made her even more disgusted with herself. She just needed time away from him, that was it. Then everything would be back to normal. Back to how it should be. But when she walked out of her house, towards the blue Camero, four muffins in hand, Billy made it quite difficult to ignore him, as she intended on doing the rest of the day. 

“Hey there, gorgeous.” She willed herself not to smile softly as she would have a few days ago, and simply distributed the muffins evenly, not making a sound as she lowered herself into the passenger seat. “You eat already, Logan?” He was now teasing her, as she had forgotten to feed herself just yesterday. Instead of answering him with words, she simply nodded her head and then proceeded to look out the passenger window. Billy only looked at her for a moment, taking notice of how she shifted herself away from him. “Alright.”

He took his time driving this morning, not speeding to their shared campus as he normally did. The music was not as loud and instead acted as background noise to the awkward silence of their ride to school. Max also seemed to sense something was off, as she shifted uncomfortably in the middle seat and made it a point not to give Billy any shit this morning. When the car was parked, Max wasted no time with her getaway. Not leaving enough time for Jess to unbuckle herself and exit first, Max climbed over the middle console as she did yesterday, and left using the passenger door, leaving it open for Jess. She saw this as an opportunity to leave as well, but when she finally released the seatbelt and began to step out, Billy stopped her, grasping at her elbow bend, careful not to hold on too hard, allowing her to break free if she needed. “You good?” 

“Yup. See you later, Hargrove.” The way she answered told him otherwise, but he didn’t push further, considering they were now at school, with a potential audience if things went south. He chalked it up to her still being stressed over derivatives and didn’t put it passed her to have picked up her notebook last night and continue studying, even when Billy advised her to rest.

She’s just tired. And he was right, she was tired, but not because she had spent the whole night studying, but instead, spent the whole night thinking about him, thinking about everything he has done and said, every smile she had received from him these past few days, which ones were fake, and which ones were genuine. She had dissected everything that went on between the two of them, looking for any hint of insincerity, sure she would find something, and when she didn’t, it drove her even more mad, coming to the conclusion that she was delusional. 

“Yeah, see you.” He said too late, she was already closing the door as the words were forced out of his mouth. His eyes followed her as she raced toward Steve, who seemed to be always waiting for her. Just for her. He took a long drag from a now-lit cigarette and finally broke his gaze from the pair to a different group, Tommy Hagen and Carol Perkins, who also seemed interested in the previous pair Billy was just spying on. Carol seemed to be nudging Tommy, pointing meaningfully at Jess as she whispered, causing Tommy’s eyes to widen and nod in what looked like agreeance to Billy. Sighing, he took one last drag of his cigarette and ashed it in his tray where he left the remaining half for later. 

As he began to walk toward the two, Carol quickly closed the gap between the two, making sure she informed Billy of what she just realized. “Looks like Tommy was right after all,” is all she said at first, believing Billy would clue into whatever the hell they were talking about based on that one sentence. 

“What?” 

“Your little girlfriend is wearing Harrington’s sweater, how cute.” Tommy now chimed in, which was enough to jog his memory of their conversation last Friday morning. This caused him to snap his head back over to the two a bit harsher than he calculated, which he hoped his friends didn’t notice. He didn’t take it for someone else’s at first, as it fit her perfectly, slightly loose, but not by any means baggy. It was a blue-green raglan sweater, seams visible only at the shoulders, and now looking at it, the arms were much longer than they should be on her, while she seemed to stretch the chest out slightly. In other words, it most likely wasn’t hers. The left side of his mouth ticked downward, as he scrunched his nose and cleared his throat, spitting unnecessarily to the right of his stance. 

“Bitch ain’t my girlfriend.” He then began to head toward the building’s entrance, interested in leaving with or without Hagen and Perkins, but of course, they followed him. 

“I’m throwing a party at my place Friday,” Carol piped up, already bored of the prior topic, something Billy was grateful for.  “Parents are going on some holiday skiing trip. You in?” He simply grunted in response. Of course he was in. 

“Cool, later.” And with that, she left the two boys, probably eager to spread the news of her having the house to herself this weekend. As she went from person to person, requesting them to “tell everyone” while dodging those that, according to her, didn’t need to come, Carol spotted her next target. 

Jess’s locker suddenly slammed shut, Carol Perkin’s hand stretched across the door. 

“Carol…” 

“Mrs. Harrington. My, you look super cute today.” Carol was now fingering her, or rather, Steve’s sweater, smiling knowingly. 

“What are you going on about?” Jess was already walking away from her locker, eager to get to her first period. 

“So, what is going on with you and Harrington?” 

“You’re out of touch, Carol.” 

“Not my fault someone doesn’t keep me in the loop anymore.” When Jess decidedly ignored this comment, Carol continued, “I’m having a party this Friday, or are you too cool to come?”

“Yeah, right, like you want me there.”

“Hey, you stopped hanging with us, or do you not remember?” Carol was now blocking Jess’s walking path, seemingly knowing the pathway she needed to take to her first period, looking annoyed and, surprisingly, hurt, an emotion she only showed briefly before shaking it away entirely. Again, Jess said nothing, so Carol continued, moving out of her way so that they could walk side by side, as they used to when walking to class. “You know, I figured it was your bible-thumping weirdos that made you quit hanging out, since we’re ‘bad influences’, but apparently, it turns out you don’t exactly hang out with them either.” 

“What’s your point, Carol?” 

“Seems like Steve Harrington is the only good enough friend for you. I mean, he must be since you’ve completely isolated yourself from everyone else.” Jess wished that this was the case, that for some reason, she’d randomly decided that Steve Harrington would be her only friend, that she was choosing to cut off everyone else. That would have made it easier. The truth was, she tried this year, really tried to go back to normal, as nothing different happened. That Hawkins was just Hawkins, that she wasn’t burdened by this incredible secret. And then it happened again. All. Over. Again. And there were only a few people she didn’t have to pretend with. Carol Perkins wasn’t one of them. And after what happened between her, Tommy, and Steve last year, it seemed there was no use trying again. 

“I’ll be there,” is what Jess was able to muster up, unwilling and unable to confront the current topic. 

Carol looked her up and down. “Wear something cute, you’re better than this. And tell Harrington.” Their shoulders softly brushed against each other as Carol turned around to walk in the opposite direction, and Jess was once again alone in a crowded hallway. 

Fourth-period practice was awful. As expected, Alicia did leave a detailed note of yesterday’s after-school practice, and Coach was not happy. Not happy at all. 

---

“Since SOME OF YOU are uninterested in our SCHEDULED afternoon practices, looks like we’ll ALL be having an unscheduled one this afternoon. I hope you girls like running because you’ll be doing A LOT of it after school.” As they were currently in the gym, the boys, who pretended they weren’t paying attention, heard every last word. Some snickers were exchanged at the girls’ expense, causing some dirty looks to get thrown the boys’ way.  

By the end of practice, they were a sweaty mess, Coach not easing up on their current practice either, practically pushing them passed their limits as punishment. Showers and reapplication of makeup were in order for many of the girls, causing them to take longer coming out of the gym than the boys this time around. Billy left the locker room after Steve, who was already waiting outside the gym doors for Jess, Jason and Patrick making small talk with him while they waited. Billy eyed the three boys, sticking his left hand in his jean pocket, running his right hand through his hair, and then began cracking his knuckles with his thumb. Steve stared at him apprehensively, considering he was normally long gone by now, walking to the cafeteria. Just then Chrissy walked through the doors and turned to Steve, who was now looking at her, “She’s almost done.” As if on cue, Jess came through the doors, hair now thrown in the same banana clip as last night. 

As Steve began to open his mouth, Billy beat him to the punch, “Hey, Logan.” Steve shot his head in Billy’s direction, unsure he heard that right. Jess also seemed caught off guard, but gave Steve a quick look, telling him “One minute”, and walked over to Billy. 

“Yeah?” She whispered this question, not meaning to be so quiet. Jess swiftly looked over her shoulder, and then back at Billy. Steve and the rest were barely out of earshot, causing Billy to also lower his voice, though not as much as Jess. 

“You still need a ride, right?” 

“Uhh.” Jess had yet to think about how her extra, unplanned practice was going to affect her after-school plans. “If you can’t it’s okay, I’m sure Steve-“ 

“I’ll be in the car. Don’t run too slow, Logan.” He then looked back over at Steve, who had yet to take his eyes off him, and nodded at him slightly, causing Steve to squint his eyes defensively. With that, Billy then walked in the direction of the cafeteria. 

Confused as to why he couldn’t have waited till their 6th or 7th period to go over their plans, she stood there for a moment, watching Billy walk away from her. Her gaze slipped away when she felt Steve standing right next to her. “What was that all about?” 

“Just letting me know I still had a ride, I guess?” This made Steve cross his arms, now both of them looking in Hargrove's direction again. 

Patrick, unaware of any tension, was now becoming impatient. “So are we eating or what?” 

---

“If you don’t make it in eighteen minutes, you’ll be running it AGAIN.” 

All the girls were dressed in their matching cheer sweatsuits, as it was much too cold for their regular attire, running around the track. Jess was nearing the end of her two-mile, feeling her right knee close to giving out. It began to tighten, making bending it nearly impossible, let alone putting weight on it. Only one lap left. She began hobbling slightly, pulling the right pants leg along with every step to be sure she would not have to endure another eighteen minutes of absolute hell. She was one of the only girls left on the track, which was, as always, disheartening. She hated the tightness she felt in her chest when she ran and always wondered if the other girls felt the same way. As she was rounding the last corner, she happened to look over at the bleachers, and to her horror, Billy Hargrove was leaning against them. She sprinted the last 100 meters, dragging her right leg with the same side arm. 

“17:46. I expect a faster time from my co-captains.” But, at this moment, Jess didn’t care. All she wanted was her second shower of the day and to finally be able to stretch out her knee. As she was exiting the track gate, Hargrove began moving toward her, smirk growing as she watched her shuffle away. 

“Jesus, Jess, looks like you’re falling apart.” He then nodded at her leg, continuing to eye her injury as she limped. “You get that from cheer?” 

“Nuh-uh, it’s older. Happened when I was a kid.” But when Billy began to open his mouth to ask what happened, she turned toward the back gym entrance, “I really need a shower, I’ll meet you at your car.” 

Jess quickly showered off what remained from her run, and quickly threw her still-wet hair up in the scrunchy that was previously holding her hair back. She threw on for the third time today Steve’s blue sweater and her own 401 jeans, quickly retied her old Nikes, and exited the locker room, heading toward the front parking lot entrance, bag swung haphazardly over her right shoulder. 

When she peeled the glass door open, she saw Billy leaning against the driver’s side, cigarette lit. He didn’t seem to notice her exit at first, and instead, was focused on the pavement. It was only when he heard the scuffing of her shoes did he look, slightly frowning when he took in her outfit. 

He flicked his red down and stomped it out, motioning his nod to the passenger door, which Jess figured meant “get in”. Billy turned the key over but didn’t speed off the way he normally did, looking out at the now abandoned student lot, with the exception of a few cars. He kept his eyes forward before starting back to the conversation before school. “What was with you this morning.” He didn’t state it as a question, he didn’t want her to lie to him again, didn’t want to leave room for her to. He knew something was different, being able to look back at yesterday morning and not recognize who entered his car this morning. Or rather, he did recognize this morning’s version, but it was the same girl that had met him on Sunday afternoon, and the same girl who avoided him every day before their shared project. 

“What do you mean?” Jess gave Billy a look of mock confusion, but her eyes gave her away, which were more aggressive than usual as if she were annoyed they were again having this conversation. 

“You seemed off, but what do I know, right?” Jess only shrugged, causing Billy to nod his head in disappointment and peel out of the parking spot he occupied. They drove in silence for a moment, no music playing in the background this time. Jess stared out at the now bare trees, their leaves now covering the grass and paved roads. She then peaked at Billy, who was caught looking at her but didn’t turn away when he was realized, only glancing in front of him when he needed to watch the road.  

“Billy, I’m just tired alright? You don’t need to be all weird about it.” 

“Oh, I’m being weird.” He smiled teasingly at Jess but stopped when she didn’t return the gesture. “You hear about Carol’s party?” When Jess nodded, he continued to ask, “You goin’?”

“I mean, I said I would, so probably.”

“You tell Harrington?” 

“Yeah, I told him in Spanish.” 

“He takin’ you?” Billy only looked out at the road when he asked, wanting to seem uninterested in the answer, that they were just making small talk. But an unspoken question lingered in his tone, a question that stayed with Billy for the remainder of the day after realizing whose clothes you were wearing. 

“I’m sure he would if I asked,” Jess answered this way, giving Billy an out, allowing him to be able to arrive by himself as he always did and take whatever girl home, as he, also, always did. 

“I’m sure he would.” His statement was stiffened with skepticism. Though wanting to offer her a ride instead, he decided he wouldn’t, as he was beginning to question whether he was starting to look desperate to be around her, and Billy Hargrove was never desperate. 

They finally pulled into her driveway, Billy immediately turning out the key once the car was parked. “We got a lot of studying to do if you’re gonna get that ‘B’ on Friday.” And with that, he exited, already heading toward the doorway. 

The smell of meatloaf hit both Jess and Billy as soon as the front door was pulled open, causing Jess’s growling stomach to become audible to those close to her, which wasn’t surprising due to the extra amount of “activity” forced onto her by her coach. 

As if reading her mind, Mrs. Logan shouted from the kitchen, “You kids hungry? Dinner’s just about done!” Jess looked over to Billy, unsure if he was willing to eat with her family, as this was unmarked territory for the both of them, having Billy share a meal with both of her parents. 

Billy looked down at Jess and coolly replied to her look of concern. “I could eat.” Before sitting at the dining table, Billy went over to Mrs. Logan and offered to help bring any dishes to the table, which made Jess watch them carefully, unwilling to have what happened the first time he met her mother happen again. But the offer seemed genuine enough that Jess allowed herself to look away and place her bag by the edge of the steps, ready for her to pick up and ascend to her room when it was time. She offered to take Billy’s bag as well, placing it near hers when he handed it to her. 

When Billy joined Jess at the table empty-handed, she assumed that her mother shooed him away, not allowing their guest to help, as she barely allowed her husband to help in the kitchen. He kept staring at the placemat in front of him, unsure of what to do next. His hands fidgeted with one another underneath the table. He was unwilling to admit it, but her was nervous, to say the least. He couldn’t remember the last time he sat at the dinner table with his own family, let alone someone else's. His mind eased, however, when he heard a familiar purring at his feet. There was the same cat, an overweight, orange tabby, who was now rubbing against his leg, seemingly begging for attention. “Hey there big guy.” 

“His name’s Pancake. Because when I first got him, he literally stole a whole pancake from me.” 

“Makes sense, he’s definitely shaped like one.”

Jess elbowed the side of his left arm. “Leave Pancake alone. He’s a good boy, aren’t you, Pancake?” As if he understood, he sent a tiny “meow” in her direction. 

“Alrighty, soup’s on!” Mr. Logan was now placing a narrow dish, recently out of the oven, in front of the two teenagers, making sure to place a flat oven mitt underneath first. Mrs. Logan then followed behind with a bowl full of homemade mashed potatoes, complete with garlic butter and a hint of parsley for color. 

“This smells and looks great, Mrs. Logan, thanks.”

“Oh, you can call me Beverly.” 

“Or you can keep calling her Mrs. Logan, that’s fine too,” Jess said under her breath, eyeing Billy knowingly. 

Mrs. Logan was too busy setting up the table to hear her disapproving comment, but Billy wasn’t, and to mess with her he responded, “Well then thank you, Beverly.” He then suddenly felt a strong kick underneath the table, effortlessly striking his shin. As he grimaced, a loud “REOWW” was heard, with Pancake disappearing into the living room. 

“You kids all right?”

“Yeah Mom, I think Billy just scared him.” She now turned her attention to Billy, “I’d be careful around Pancake, he isn’t declawed.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” He returned sarcastically. 

As both her parents took their seats, Jess habitually bowed her head, but the Logan’s normal routine of saying grace was replaced by a casual “dig in”, which caused Jess to give her mother a questioning look. 

“We have a guest.” Jess quickly nodded and did as she was told, grateful she didn’t have to wait any longer to fill her stomach. 

Everything tasted how it looked, delicious. And after many forkfuls of his own food, Mr. Logan began to ask questions about their shared assignments. “How’s the reading coming along?” 

Jess took it upon herself to answer all the questions, which Billy was thankful for, not knowing how long he would have been able to keep conversation going. She, in detail, described what their essay would be about, how much they have read so far, graciously leaving out how they’ve read so far, and how he was also helping her in math, something that Mr. Logan found interesting. 

“So you’re good at math, Billy?” 

“Try to be, sir.” 

“That’s good. I’ve heard your sister is quite good at it too.” At this, Billy turned to Jess, slightly confused, but when Jess returned his look of confusion, he quickly realized she was not the one talking about his family. Their shared looks made Mr. Logan chuckle. “Your dad and I work at the same bank, son.” 

“Oh.” This information made his stomach flip, causing him to be uncomfortable where he sat. He began shifting in his seat, attempting to still look Mr. Logan in the eyes during their conversation. 

As they finished their dinner, Billy insisted on at least carrying the dirty dishes to the sink, but once that was done, Both Mr. and Mrs. Logan ordered that they retreat upstairs to start their studying. Jess made sure to grab her bag, reminding Billy of his as well, and they went up the steps together. 

When they had finally entered her bedroom, Jess was already giving Billy an annoyed glance. He decided to put a close to her irritation, “Jess I wasn’t flirting with your mother this time.” 

“Oh yeah?” 

He then raised his right hand, tracing across over the left side of his chest, as he did the first time he visited, “Cross my heart.”

“Hope to die?” 

“Doesn’t everyone?”

Jess rolled her eyes at his quick remark but figured he meant his promise, and she continued with their plans for the evening. “So, The Iliad or derivatives, take your pick.”

“Whatever you want, princess.” He was busy eyeing her childish teddies along the far wall of her room, occasionally running his fingers along the ears, many of them wearing various cheer outfits, complete with pom poms, which made Billy chuckle. What caught his attention, however, was a picture of a much younger Jess, with a white long sleeve, the number 07 written in black on her torso, the word “Broncos” written above the number in the same color, complete with a pair of spandex and kneepads. “You played?” Billy now had the frame in his hand, facing it toward Jess as if to explain why he was suddenly asking her questions. 

“That was a long time ago.” 

“Were you any good?” 

“Honestly? Yeah. Really good.” 

He set the frame back down in front of another frame, which was slightly longer, and had depicted about a dozen girls, all wearing the same uniform Jess had in the previous picture. He searched for her in the group photo and when he found her, he turned back to the now older version. “Why aren’t you on the Hawkins team then?” But before she could answer, Billy suddenly turned back to her solo picture, and reread the mascot name on her jersey. “The Broncos? I thought Hawkins middle school were The Cubs?” 

“I went to middle school a couple towns over.” Jess had her copy of The Iliad already out, opened to where they stopped last Saturday. “You ready to get started?” 

“You deciding you don’t need me anymore, Logan?” 

Billy was not as eager to start on the reading as Jess was and was hoping she would have chosen him to tutor her in math instead, considering how stressed the epic poem made him.  “Like you said, I’ll figure it out by Wednesday.” She gave him a quick smile, ensuring it didn’t linger longer than being friendly, and gestured for him to sit next to her, which he did after he retrieved the annotated copy from his bag. As Billy sat, she shifted slightly, scooting away from him when he got closer. However, Billy didn’t seem to notice, as he was too engaged in Jess’s old notes. 

“Now pleasing sleep had seal’d each mortal eye, Stretch’d in the tents the Grecian leaders lie…”

She read this way for the next few hours, Billy quietly listening, occasionally glancing up to watch her read, something she would sometimes catch, but willed herself to not acknowledge them, as, she believed, that’s all they were: glances. They continued this way, him admiring her, her pretending not to notice him, with the occasional questions Billy had about the text interrupting their game. When the clock turned 9:45, Billy interjected Jess’s reading one last time. 

“We can pick this up tomorrow. But Thursday I have to finish my research paper for U.S History,” Jess began to explain, putting away her book and taking her physics packet in the process, “And since we’ll be… busy… Friday, I’m thinking we can just write the paper this weekend. Or I can just do it if-“

“I’m free this weekend.” Billy intended to keep his promise, to not push all the paperwork on Jess, even though he was unsure how useful he’d be in writing an essay. 

“Okay, Saturday then? Since you know, you work and all…” 

“See you tomorrow, Logan.” 

Billy softly closed her door, then began down the steps, his bag swinging in his left hand, his right hand holding onto his pack of Reds in his denim pocket. Her parents were no longer in the kitchen, nor the living room, so he took it upon himself to lock the bottom lock, closing the front door afterward. He climbed into his car, wearing a crooked smile, turned the key, and blasted his heat. Once his door was closed, he lit what he believed would be his last cigarette of the night, and trapped it between his lips before he pulled out and made the short drive back home. Before pulling up his own driveway, he was sure to turn off his headlights to avoid illuminating the living room, hoping not to wake anyone who may be asleep. Once parked he finished his Marlboro inside his car, taking his time, before it was time to leave the safety of his car and enter his father’s domain. He still held the smile on his face, reminiscing over his previous meal, but when he opened the front door to find Neil standing, facing the door, with Max sitting on the couch, also now staring at the door wide-eyed, he quickly dropped his smile, along with any hope of going to sleep any time soon. 

“So,” Neil remained unmoved, staring blankly at his son, “you’re too good to bring Maxine home from school now, hmm?” 

Billy looked from Max back to his father, who was still staring at him with the same wooden expression. It made his heart drop, as he always knew what came after his father proved his vacancy for emotion, the emptiness would be replaced with something else, something that wanted to prove to Billy that he was nothing. That he would always be nothing. 

Instead of Billy responding, Max did, attempting to diminish the tension, “I told you, I’m fine. I like skating sometimes and my friends were-“

“Quiet, Maxine. I was asking your brother.” The calmness in his voice made both children shiver. Neil was now walking toward him and only stopped before the tip of his nose reached the bridge of Billy’s. “Why don’t you go back to your room.” He was still addressing Max, who looked to be opening her mouth to protest until Billy locked eyes with her and shook his head painfully slow, hoping to not tip off his father about their nonverbal conversation.

For fucks sake Max, don’t make it worse.

When her footsteps were no longer audible, Neil continued. “So. Why is it, on a day you don’t have practice, did you allow your sister to skate home?” 

“Dad, come on, I had shit to take care of, okay? I got this English project and she even said her friends were with her. It’s not like she was fending for herself out there.” 

“Oh no, I saw who brought her home, Billy.” The color began to drain from his face as he tried to look anywhere but at Neil. “It’s your responsibility to bring her home. Isn’t that right?” 

“Dad I-“ Neil’s first strike to his face caught him off guard, his balance failing him as he teetered to his right. Once he caught himself, however, he was met with another blow to his lip, which connected much harder than the last. Neil shook his head in disappointment, annoyed that he had to do that. 

“That wasn’t a question, son.” Billy was now backed into the door, silently begging to materialize at the other side of it. The way Neil spat out his name for him, son, it made him want to return to the Logan’s, back to the dinner table with Mr. Logan, who made the name seem more endearing. “I’m tired of this attitude, thinking you can do what you want, that you can talk back.” He was becoming louder, more unhinged. 

“I’m s-sor-“

“HMM?” 

“I’m sorry sir.” He dared look into his father’s eyes when he said this, knowing it would only anger him further if this requirement was not meant.  

Neil then backed away from him, contemplating his apology. “I don’t. Ever. Want to see that shit again, you understand me?” When Billy nodded, Neil turned away from him. “Clean this shit up. Since you can’t even bother showing up to dinner anymore.” Neil gestured to the dining room, then retreated to his own room, slamming the door for good measure, indifferent about whether Susan could have been asleep. There was a single dish left on the table, a beer can sitting next to it. Billy willed the numbness in his legs to retreat back to his chest and began to walk toward the dining table, tossing the can and quickly rinsing off the plate, fork, and steak knife, placing them in the dishwasher once done. He stood there, still in front of the sink, looking out at the small window that was placed above it, only able to see his reflection as it was too dark outside to see anything else. He saw the cut left behind by his father, the redness around it threatening to turn purple any minute. He saw the moisture building under his eyes and the trembling scowl on his face. He saw how unquestionably weak he looked. He struck his palm against the edge of the now clean sink, still staring down his reflection, ordering it to change, but it only became worse, the tears now running down his face.  He couldn’t be here anymore. Not now. 

He retreated back to his car, now allowing his headlights to shine bright, not caring whether they were disrupting. He wouldn’t be coming back tonight anyways. He backed out, tires screeching and music blasting, something he was sure he’d pay for tomorrow if Neil cared to run into him again. He glanced down at his watch, seeing the time read as 11:37. Everything would be closed, this city not even a fraction as lively as SoCal. Billy looked around at the darkened town as he drove, his engine and tape disrupting the silence. He then found the abandoned parking lot, the same one that he allowed Jess to circle just yesterday. He parked but kept the car on, unwilling to turn off the heat, but if he were to sleep there, in his car, as he has done multiple times, he knew he’d have to turn it off eventually. He began to hang his head, tired from tonight’s events, until he decided to once again look at his reflection, pulling at his rearview mirror slightly to do so. His cut was now much more visible than it was in the reflection of the window, angering him, the sleepiness from just moments ago fading. 

“Fuck.” He then struck his palm against his wheel. “FUCK.” He continued to bang against it, his tongue now dripping venom, “FUCK this GODDAMN town. Fuck this. FUCK HE-“ He became incoherent, babbling as he struck his dash now, unable to see clearly through his tears. When he accidentally bumped his horn, he stopped, throwing his head back in his seat. While staring up at nothing, he began to realize he didn’t want to sleep in his cold car. He didn’t want to be alone. And though he knew better, he was blinded by the comfort he had felt only hours before, and because of this, only because of this, Billy began his journey back to Cherry Lane.

[straight4joekeery]

Steve: Whatever happened to the concept of less is more?

Eddie: But if less is more, then just think of how much more 'more' will be!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie: Are you good?

Steve: In what sense?

Eddie: Generally.

Steve: Oh, definitely not.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie: You’re giving me a sticker?

Steve: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!”

Eddie: I’m not a preschooler.

Steve: Fine, I’ll take it back-

Eddie: I earned this, back off!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve: I love you.

Eddie: How many people have you said that to?

Steve: Everyone.

Eddie: What?

Steve: I told everyone that I love you.

Eddie, on the floor, crying: You sLut.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie: *Pulls a glass a water from out of nowhere*

Steve: Where did you get that?

Eddie: My pocket.

Steve: How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket?

Eddie: Skills.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve: Eddie likes to win. When he was 8, a little Club Scout friend of his bragged they could sell the most cookies.

Steve: Damned if Eddie didn't walk the neighborhood till he got blisters on his feet, and won by 10 boxes.

Steve: Best part is, Eddie wasn't even a Club Scout.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.

Eddie: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.

Steve: I said within reason, Eddie. How about I murder that guy?

Eddie: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?

Steve: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

~~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie: If you spell skeletons backwards, it still spells skeletons.

Steve, deadpan: Wow, I can't wait for Halloween to see some snoteleks.

Eddie: Damnit man, I thought you were dyslexic.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie: The real secret to immortality? Not dying. You want to be immortal? Okay, that’s easy. Just don’t die. That’s it. Refuse to die. There you go.

Steve: But how-

Eddie, ignoring him: “But how”, you may ask. Well, easy. Just don’t do it. Refuse to. Say “no thanks”.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve: I need life advice.

Eddie, sipping Gatorade and eating raw cookie dough: You came to the right person.

[westcovinas]

I think one of the most appealing character building aspects of arrested development is how fully fleshed out the women are. It came out in 2003 and it does better than shows coming out now, 20 years later. All of the women are equally if not more so scheming, conniving, and manipulative as their male counterparts. Lindsay is portrayed at being good at manipulating men’s emotions and sexualities despite marrying a gay man, which makes sense when the show establishes her better relationship with her father. Her mother gave her an eating disorder, so her father got to teach his little girl how to get people to give you what you want. She’s also (inadvertently) adept at running a business, which was no doubt the influence of both parents and her “twin” brother.

Her daughter, Maeby, took her mother’s skill for lying and her father’s aptitude at earnest acting. She’s just as manipulative as the women before her, if not more. By pure lies alone, she gets multiple jobs, free housing, and cheats the school system. Instead of using roofies to sexually assault Steve Holt, she uses them specifically to avoid sex. Maeby constantly defies expectation, subverts standards, and makes her own path as the daughter with two negligent, well meaning parents.

Which brings us to Lucille. Lucille and her husband set the standard for all of their children and grandkids. Although we can assume there was a long line of weirdly fucked up Bluths and Jenkins (Lucille’s maiden name) before them, they are the epitome of the Bluth name: selfish boomers/silent gens that will stop at nothing to get their way. Lucille is a queen at mind games and casually cruel offhand remarks. She is revealed to be in charge, in a spin that surprises few watchers. Everyone know’s Lucille pulls the strings, even if George sr is equally exploitive.

Even the minor ladies in ad pass the bechdel test with flying colors. Maggie is, quite frankly, kind of a bitch - she doesn’t care who she’s screwing over, as long as she looks good (par course for the Bluth family). Kitty is a true home wrecker: she knows her partner’s wife and she knows that she “hates” the cheating. We don’t know how much it actually bothers Lucille, but Kitty doesn’t care. All of Michael’s love interests leave him, and he’s the main character. His son, George Michael, doesn’t fare much better romantically either, except with Ann, who also eventually rejects him. Even Ann, the devout evangelical Christian, is still given notable characteristics and personality traits: faithful, passionate, stubborn. From Lupe to Lucille II, the women are allowed to be just as full as the men, which is refreshing, especially from 20 years ago.

[aceofwhump]

Happy Whumpmas (੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭*🎅⛄❄️!!! You have just been snowballed by a secret whumper. Help to keep the snowball fight going by anonymously sending this to five other whumpers with a whump-related question of your choice: favorite whump from a British show and favorite whump from an American show and because I'm mean, you can only choose one example for each 😈! I also demand a photo of your adorable cat 😉! Merry Christmas, dear! Xxxx

I CAN ONLY CHOOSE ONE FOR EACH!?!?!? Oh nonny you are mean!! That's so hard!! i watch so many British and US shows!! SO MANY!

Okay so I made a list of my favorites and it got.....incredibly long. My god I have a lot of favorites. But I think I'm going to choose these two whump moments as my *favorite

British: Fuck there's so many to choose from!!!! Ahh!! Okay I guess I'm going to go with Merlin 1x04 "The Poisoned Chalice" for my favorite whump from a British show at this moment in time. I have lost count of how many times I've watched this episode. It's so good. The self sacrifice talking the poison for Arthur, the choking and collapsing, the high fever, the wheezing way he breaths, the way Arthur worries, the caretaking. IT'S PERFECT (sidenote but I apparently haven't giffed this episode and I need to change that soon)

American: I'm agonizing over this one i tell you but for right now I'm going to go with another one that is always a huge favorite of mine and that I've watched like 1000 times. Hawaii Five-0 8x10. Danny gets shot while theyre all trapped in isolation? Bleeding out, unable to breathe, hallucinating, extremely worried and panicky Steve who has to conduct surgery on him? AMAZING! BEAUTIFUL! PERFECT

And a picture of my kitty just for you! She likes to sit in this chair while me and my family eat dinner and patiently waits for us to give her tiny scraps. It's adorable. Sometimes she'll reach out with her paw and like tap us on the arm. It's the most polite way of asking for food I've ever seen from a cat. I love her so much.

Merry Christmas!!!

*subject to change based on my mood

[izzysarchivedblogs]

Get to Know the Character

name: Clinton Francis Barton

name meaning: Clinton (settlement on a hill/hilltop town), Francis (free man), Barton (barley settlement, son of furrows, rich in land)

alias/es: Hawkeye // formerly Ronin, Goliath, Captain America, Golden Archer, Bowman

ethnicity: white american

one picture you like best of your chara:

ten people your character likes / loves:

Kate Bishop

Natasha Romanov

Bucky Barnes

Bobbi Morse

Wade Wilson

Jessica Drew

Wanda Maximoff

Steve Rogers

Peter Parker (@crisispider)

Leonard Mccoy (@thefleetsfinest)

five headcanons

Clint and Kate use to cook together; do Hawkeye family dinners. When they did nights like this, it was kind of important to leave their hangs up at the door and just be friends, family, with each other

Clint consider picking up / trying cigarettes and smoking when he was going sober and quitting alcohol; he ultimately never adopted the habit which is probably good for him

While he doesn't really read much anymore, he still collects books from certain authors and genres. Pulp fictions, westerns, mysteries and romance are the notable genres. He has a few of the gothic and horror classics too. There is in fact a small section of cowboy erotica on his shelves. He's choosy about the books and covers though, he liked used books best.

Dogs are his favorite animal; absolutely spoils dogs the most, any dog he sees is getting a snack but Clint is actually just an animal guy. He liked to play with frogs and toads, always gentle with them, liked being around the horses and animals at the circus. Can be a sweet to a kitty or two. He's been known to pick up a stray or few and find them a home, or take them somewhere safe.

Clint likes to fish and hunt but he does it cleanly and respectful. Not a trophy hunter, but if he kills any game than he uses as much as he can; always cooks and eat all of it. So if he's hunting, it's typically a one kill and he is choosy. (hawkeye 1994 / he literally lives off the land in canada for months)

three things your character regrets:

How he handled things with Bobbi

Killing Bruce Banner

Not going with Barney when he left the circus

three things your character likes doing in their free time: 

Cooking, trying new recipes, barbecuing

Hikes // getting out of the city and into nature

Get coffee and jelly donuts (find the best place in all five borough of new york and new jersey)

two phobia your character has:

Becoming his father

Not being enough

Tagged by: sniped from the dash and adjusted some things

Tagging: steal it and use as you like !!

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

In All the Good Girls, who do you want to be the soft one? Steve or Bucky? Lmaooo

I’m always a Bucky hoe tbh but with the latest chapter, I feel like Steve might be the softer one of the two 👀

Lollll Steve be eating the kitty nice tho so I cant deny that. I suppose the men would just be more and less giving based on personality.

Bucky is firm but melts a little when he gets some good pets. Steve wants some juiciness so he puts in the work so that he can get rougher.

[andvys]

ANDY LOVE

THIS CHAPTER WAS SO ENTERTAINING DKJDISJSIDDISS - honey anon

“I guess they didn’t come,” you mumble with sadness and a hint of disappointment in your voice. “They never do.”

noo that's sad :( they seemed so nice with the meatballs and everything

“I mean, I thought that we could spend this night together,” you say, smiling with hope in your eyes. “Or we can leave if that’s what you–”

OMG WAIT!! I SENSE DRAMA POTENTIAL. the love triangle + alcohol 👀

“I knew it! I knew you were lying to me, Dingus!” 

THERE SHE IS THE LOML MY WIFE THE MOTHER OF MY CHILDREN

“You are both two immature idiots,” she groans, burying her hands in her hair. 

she's so right. what about our girl getting into a polyamorous relationship with rob and chrissy

“He threw up in the pool, Robin!”

IF THAT HAPPENED TO ME YOU WOULD NOT GET THIS INFORMATION OUT OF ME BYE

“Let’s go, ladies and.. Steve,” he grins. 

HAHAHAHAHA i remember when in high school we would work in groups and there were boys in our group but our math teacher hated us and was so mean and she would still call us girls just to spite them 😭😭

“Don’t start this again,” Robin warns, pointing at them both before she rushes over to you, wrapping her arm around your shoulder, she grins, “us ladies, ride in the front, and you two can cuddle in the back,” she winks at them, pulling you away with a giggle. 

I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THEM CUDDLING IN THE BACK LMFAO

After an eventful ride to Steve’s house and a few shots of tequila, you all settled in his backyard, each of you occupying one of the many loungers around the pool. Passing around the joint that Eddie had given Steve as a ‘birthday gift’. You are sipping on a drink that Steve has made for you, coke mixed with his dad’s expensive whiskey. You are pretty sure that you will regret the amount of alcohol and weed you are having tonight, when you wake up tomorrow morning. But the floaty and giddy feeling you are experiencing right now, will have to make up for it. 

me reading about the drugs imagining the possible effects cause i've never been been under any influence (wish i could paste gifs here 😭)

“A girlfriend?” You ask as you raise the glass to your lips, shrugging, “I don’t know, I never thought about it but kissing girls is fun, so.. I suppose doing anything else with a girl is fun too.” 

BISEXUAL QUEEN

“If you think kissing a girl is fun, you should try eating one out,” Robin mumbles before she takes a drag from the joint, “it’s the best thing ever.” She blows out the smoke, not noticing the confused frown on your face. 

do share your experiences robin go on, lemme just ✍️

“For once, I have to agree with you, Robin,” Eddie chuckles. 

hUH

“What is that, I don’t watch porn.” 

GIRL

Your jaw drops, your cheeks heat up and you stare at him in shock. You look cute like this and he could stare at you forever but, in his state of shock, he slowly turns his head towards Steve, eyes filled with concern, confusion and disbelief, “dude, what is wrong with you?” 

STEVE GETTING EXPOSED ON HIS BIRTHDAY BYE IM CRYING 💀 her reaction is so me i also was shocked when i first learned like "people do that????"

“I’m very self conscious of not doing a good job, so–”

BRO 😭

“What, Munson, are you the pussy expert or something?” He scoffs, rolling his eyes at him. 

NOT THE KITTY KING IM WHEEZING

“I have eaten my share of pussy, thank you very much.”

WHAT IS GOING ON

“Fine! Two or three months ago, happy? Now, Harrington, I think I should teach you some basics.” 

WHO WHO WHO WHO WH- (turns into an owl)

Steve rubs the back of his neck, nervously, “I mean, yeah. Just not–” he pauses with a look of shame in his eyes as he briefly glances at you. 

don't embarrass yourself further 😭

You are so fucking done. 

ME TOO BUT THIS CHAPTER WAS SPICY OKAYYYY

IM SO EXCITED FOR MORE ANDY!! 🤭

WHY DIDNT I SEE THIS LAST NIGHT AAHH BESTIE IM HAPPY YOU LIKED THIS CHAPTER!!!! 🩷

'with the meatballs and everything' why did that make me laugh LMAO

reader getting into a relationship with Chrissy and robin? 🤭

LMAO boys had nothing more than to get called 'ladies' or 'girls' even though it's clearly very sarcastic

Steve being a dumbass and getting exposed, Eddie making reader jealous, what else is new 😩

BESTIE I THINK YOURE GONNA LOVE THE NEW CHAPTER HEHE 🤭 how are you doing?? 🩷

[goldenkwilde]

Firstly, it's Kitty, the only person who's allowed to call me Kit is the Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and even then, it's only after I see Him in Heaven. Pumpkin spice is an attempt by boozy PTA moms to feel something in the back-to-school season, it's not a real flavour and it tastes like puke. And, to counter your points, because I am, first and foremost, an Autumn hater, 1. I don't wear comfy clothes, and anyone who does is kidding themselves into thinking they look good, 2. Pumpkin patches are mudpits, I have never touched a pumpkin in my life, and I don't intend to start, 3. Apple orchards smell like breweries, and I don't eat donuts, 4. I can't argue with you about Halloween and horror movies, but haunted houses are the devil's work. If I wanted some guy in a ski mask to jump out at me with a baseball bat, I'd go to my Uncle Steve's house in Alabama during election season.

Sugar and I are doing a group costume, I think Dottie's gonna join us. You?

Come on, Kit. We all know pumpkin spice is the superior flavor. Who cares if every single coffee shop has a hand written chalk board screaming about it? Also, it feels like you should be directing this energy towards winter, not fall. Fall is probs the best season aside from spring. 1. We get to wear super cute and comfy sweaters and cardigans. LAYERS, Kit! 2. Pumpkin patches are like sooo adorable and the perfect place to get cute insta photos. 3. Apple orchards are just as cute as pumpkin patches, but they have hand made cider AND apple cider donuts. So. Yummy. 4. And then the best part, the 3 H's. Halloween, Haunted Houses and Horror Movies.

Speaking of Halloween, whatcha thinking for your costume?

[fxllfaiiry]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 <𝟑

pairing: steve harrington x reader

warnings: breeding kink, edging, pussy spanking, oral (m and f receiving), squirting, titty fucking, face riding, dirty talk, implied perv steve, 18+ only!!

authors note: here’s a lil something in honor of kinktober !! <3

masterlist | navigation | taglist | ask box 

♡ While fucking your boobs, he’d take the tip of his cock and rub it over your nipples, spreading pre-cum everywhere. 

♡ Steve’s breeding kink is not a secret but now think about his girlfriend fueling it up by saying stuff like: 

♡ “That onesie would look so cute on our baby.” 

♡ “Hey Steve, we should have a tiny you someday.” 

♡ Ect. 

♡ Even the simplest comments would get him rallied up and of course, he fucks you deep and hard afterwards. 

♡ He’s a clit slapper and bitter, biting you just to hear the gasp that comes out of your mouth and slapping well he’d do it as a punishment, gentle of course (depends on his mood) 

♡ Imagine him slapping your weeping hole just to hear the squeaks you make every time. 

♡ This might be a weird one but riding Steve’s chest to get off. He’d make you get on top and hump his chest, telling you to make a mess on his hair, trying not to moan if he feels your clit rub up against his pec. Loves how your tits bounce while you do this ;) 

♡ Steve’s obsessed with giving you tummy bulges: 

“That’s how deep I am, huh baby?” Steve asked placing a hand on your tummy, he was sitting completely still buried in all the way, “So deep, hm?” He thrusted a little making you gasp from the sudden feeling. “So, so deep, Stevie.” 

♡ He’d get you to squirt on accident and then becomes obsessed with making you do it again. Would try to get you to squirt on his cock, and if you did it then he’d be cocky asf. 

♡ Car sex is a must. Fucking you in the backseat, telling you to ride him in the passenger seat, eating you out while you drive or giving him a bj while he drives. 

♡ Loves giving and receiving praise. Tell him how much of a good job he’s doing at pleasing you and he’ll melt. 

♡ Edging you in front of a mirror, telling you to look at how pretty you look spread wide open for him. 

“Look at how wet you are, you’re making a mess on the floor, baby.” 

♡ Or would tell you to touch yourself while looking into the mirror. 

♡ 69ing with him, think about him kitty licking your weeping hole while you try to take him as deep as you can. 

♡ Riding his face would feel so good, the way his nose would bump against your clit would send jolts throughout your body (Steve Harrington has a rideable face)

♡ Would love to eat you out in any of his clothes. 

♡ Knows how to perfectly suck on your clit, slurping and making the lewdest noises ever. He’d tease you until you’re throbbing for him. 

♡ Deep-throating him in the shower until he’s gasping and screaming your name.

♡ Would tease you by rubbing only the tip of his cock onto your clit :(( 

♡ He loves the marks that you leave on his back, wearing them proudly the next day. 

♡ That’s all for now, maybe I’ll make a part 2 <333  

[hellfireclubmember]

Phlegmy and Red-nosed

a/n: okay, i've been struggling w writing anxiety lately. like the more i waited in posting the more anxious i got about writing anything and the less i did it. so i figured i should just break through it before i never write again. don't hate this pls *i wrote more to this but cut it cuz i thought it would b too much, it might feel incomplete or something*

pairing(s): steve harrington x reader

warning(s)/concept: just sick steve, this might b a little messy so forgive me

summary: steve is very sick but refuses to go home or cancel his date w u so dustin takes matters into his own hands.

The bell above the door at Family Video rang but Steve’s head stayed down on top of his arms, eyes closed. His windbreaker zipped up completely which he never did, looked too dorky in his opinion. But at that moment, he had no other option. He was freezing cold, shivering in fact.

“Dude, you look awful.” Max said as Dustin and Lucas walked through the aisles of movies.

“Thank you, Maxine. Always a pleasure.” Steve didn’t even bother opening his eyes to look at her. In his mind’s eye he could already see the icked out look on her face. An expression of hers everyone knows too well.

Max stood in front of the counter and looked around for her other friends. As fun as it is to make fun of Steve, she was slightly concerned for him. She had never seen him look the way he did. Sick Steve was a pretty rare sight. Beat up Steve sure, but phlegmy and red-nosed, never. Her eyes met Dustin’s through the stands fully stocked with tapes. Her eyes widened slightly and motioned to Steve, demanding him to walk over.

Dustin put the tape he had in his hand back, walking to the counter. When his eyes landed on Steve, he immediately knew he was feeling like hell. Steve would never flatten his hair just to rest his head. “Hey, buddy. You alright?”

Steve’s response was a groan.

“Where’s Robin?” Lucas spoke as he looked around for her.

“She’s sick.” Steve’s voice was a little raspy as he spoke and the feeling in his throat made him want to never speak again.

“Yeah, well, I hate to break it to you Steve but she definitely got you sick.” Dustin said. “You gotta go home and rest.”

“I can’t. After my shift ends, I have a date.” Steve tried to breathe through his nose but it was so clogged he had to just take a breath through his mouth.

Everyone rolled their eyes at his response.

“Cancel it. I’m sure whatever chick you have lined up will understand.” Lucas put his hand on Steve’s shoulder as he spoke to show some support.

Steve knew you would definitely understand but he had been looking forward to this date. You and Steve had officially been on 7 dates, and that is honestly a new record for him. These days he’d have maybe one date with a girl, then it would just turn into casual sex and just naturally fizzle out. But he really liked you. He had convinced himself that you were way too good for him. You were this delicate, beautiful, shy girl with a heart full of kindness and sweetness.

The first time you and Steve met, you were on your knees at the side of the road. The gravel was digging into your delicate skin, your pretty skirt was too short to protect it. You were so low on the ground; he almost drove past you.

He pulled over to make sure you weren’t hurt and when he got out of his car to ask, he saw that you were knelt in front of a very scrawny looking kitten. You had a can of cat food in your hand, holding it still for the kitty to eat straight out of. (Turns out you keep at least one can of cat food in your bag at all times, just in case you come across a hungry cat) He watched the kitten scarf down its meal until you looked up at him, all doe eyed. You whispered the sweetest hello up to him; he felt a wave of immediate endearment swallow him whole. You got him with the first word he heard you say. He would feel pathetic if he didn’t feel so lucky.

“It’s not any chick. It’s (y/n).” Dustin whispered to Lucas.

“Oh. Wow, you’ve gone past the three-date mark with this one.” Max leaned on the counter. “You must really like her.”

Another groan from Steve.

And then it hit Dustin. There was a way he could get Steve to go home and make sure he saw you. Without a word, Dustin turned on his heel and started making his way out of the door of the video store. Leaving his friends standing there in confusion.

-

Dustin lived about four houses down from you. He had seen you reading under the sycamore tree in the front yard a few times, so either you live there or you really like reading on other people’s property.

The boy biked all the way to your house.

When you answered the door, he managed to get some words out in between gasps for breath. Explaining to you that Steve was very sick and refused to go home from work or cancel your date with him. He was about to beg you to come with him to the video store, but before he could even ask, you were grabbing your keys and locking the door to your house.

The image of Steve sitting at work whilst running a fever put a real pep in your step. You grabbed your old bike, fully prepared to just leave the hunk of rust at the video store. As you started the journey, you were already concocting a speech in your head in order to convince him to let you drive him home in his car. You knew how careful he was about the Beemer.

You peddled behind Dustin, praying the bike chain wouldn’t just break off. There were moments you completely believed it would but your childhood bike really held up. As you parked it next to Dustin’s, outside of the video store, you silently thanked her for being so kind.

“He’s gonna kill me.” Dustin mumbled before grabbing your hand and walking you into the store. Steve’s head was in the same position it was when Dustin had left, which means he didn’t see you walk in with the curly-haired boy.

You approached the counter slowly. Whilst Max and Lucas quietly asked Dustin if you were ‘the girl’.

“Stevie...” You whispered, tilting your head to the side to get a better look at him. His face was paler than usual and his nose was slightly red, and it made you frown. Steve looked so lethargic it made your heart ache.

The moment he heard your sticky sweet voice his head snapped up. You stood in front of him, a small smile on your soft features and for a moment he forgot how awful he felt just a second ago.

“Hi, angel.” He murmured, trying his best to save his voice.

“Hi, Stevie.” Your smile widened and the tension in your shoulders disappeared, relief filling your chest at the sight of him. “We have to get you home, honey. You need to rest.”

“But our date-“

“We’ll have plenty of time for another date.” You reached for his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I’ll take such good care of you; you’ll be healthy again in no time.”

Turns out, Steve really didn’t need much convincing. Even when you asked for his car keys, he just handed them to you; no begging, no bargaining and no complaints. Your prepared speech completely unnecessary.

taglist: @slashersluttt @slurmp69 @sadbitchfangirl @actual-mom-steve-harrington @stylesyourmine @pennyllanne @johnricharddeacy

[buckyalpine]

What is it? It’s a duck

More bs incorrect quotes, more here, not related, just pure ridiculousness I like to pull out my ass every so often: 

If It walks like a duck

If it Talks like a duck

Also my inspo for one of the scenes below: 

_______________________________________________

You snorted watching the puppy mount its toy, his eyes locked on his target as he started wiggling his hips, clearly determined to hump it itll it could squeak no more. 

“Butters!” You couldn’t help but whip your phone out, tears streaking down your face while Bucky rolled his eyes at the romping pooch. “Oh my gosh, Isn’t Butters so cute Bucky?” 

“No” Bucky crossed his arms across his chest, he wasn’t jealous of the 2 lb furball smaller than his hand that had all your attention as of late. Not at all. 

“C’mon, how can you not laugh” 

“Oh but when I do it, its stop Bucky, go to sleep Bucky, use your right hand Bucky, porn is free Bucky” 

_________________________________________________

You: I know you took it

Bucky: I didn’t do anything *innocently pouts*

You: I saw you eyeing it Barnes, where’d you put it

Bucky: I would never look at, so much as eat something as childish as dunkaroos y/n. In fact, I’m so insulted, I’m going to my room. 

*Leaves to go to his room, snickering to himself while he goes and pulls out the box, ripping open the packet, dunking his finger in the frosting* 

Bucky: No one ever has to know

_________________________________________________

Steve: How was your walk in the park

Bucky: Fine

Sam: How’s the weather out, was thinking about going for a run

Bucky: Fine *his eyes suspiciously glancing around the room* 

Steve:...Did something happen Buck?

Bucky: Nope.

*Meow*

Sam: Did you just meow?

Bucky:...yep. Can’t a grown man meow Sam. I spent years under ice, just got my life back, finally sort of free and you’re telling me I can’t meow? Meow, I’ll meow all I want. What does the doggy say? bow wow, what does the kitty say? Meow meow

*meow*

*Bucky panics*

Bucky: What does the moo cow say? AAHHHHH!

Sam: Okay *throws his hands up, scrunching his face when he notices movement in Bucky’s leather jacket” Motherfucker what are you hiding

Steve: Okay, spill Buck

*Bucky reaches into his coat, pulling out a tiny white stray kitten*

Bucky: Her name is Alpine

_____________________________________________

You: That bitch has Dunkaroo frosting on his lips, I can see it 

*You narrow your eyes at Bucky as he walks in, cookie crumbs and a the tiniest smearing of frosting on his pouty bottom lip*

Sam: How you gonna prove it 

You: Watch

*You walk over, grab his face, squishing his cheeks together* 

You: Right. There! See?! I can see it right there! It’s my dunkaroos all over your face!

Bucky: Is not

You: Is too

Bucky: is not

You: Is too

Bucky: Go a head and taste it then, prove it

You: Fine!

*You grab his face, smash your lips onto his, letting your tongue slip past his parted lips. He growls against your lips, picking you up by the backs of your thigs and placing you onto the counter, the both of you saying fuck all to oxygen*

You: I can taste-the icing-on your tongue *You’re out of breath, his hands coming up to grab your waist*

Bucky: You sure about that?

You: No, let me check again *Grabs his shirt, your hair tangling into his locks, kissing him again*

Sam: Good grief, we get it, he stole them! 

You: I-I knew you took them *you pant, your forehead resting against his while he huffs out a laugh*

Bucky: Should’ve stolen this instead *Grabs you for another kiss*

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