#steve also gives billy a present but i wanted to end with this scene

[weird-an]

The whole day at the Byers' passes in a blur of laughter and food. It took a while to warm up to then. To be honest, he's still wary. What do they get out of it? But it's nice. If Christmas is always like this, Billy might like it. He even got to sleep on the couch. He even was allowed to get seconds from the turkey Joyce made.

Now? Now he's "getting the Camaro" before getting to eat another meal at the Byers' and gets to see Steve. He nearly crushes him with his hug.

"Merry Christmas to you too, Billy," he laughs.

Billy can't help but to smile a little. He has to give Steve his present now, before he gets too… scared. It was hard to get him a present.

One day, he was so frustrated, he just grabbed Max' stupid recorder, a worn out copy of a book he keeps hidden in his matress and started to read Maurice out loud. In the first few minutes one hears Max' bitching in the background, but then Billy promised her to drive her to Sinclair's as often as she likes. Before Billy realized it, he spent a whole night and several tapes recording an audiobook of Maurice for Steve Harrington.

He hands it to Steve. It looks pathetic, wrapped in old newspapers. With the handdrawn card that looks even more pathetic.

Billy didn't buy Steve a card. They were all fucking ugly. Instead he drew a doodle of the Camaro and wrote "Ticket out of Hawkins" on the license plate, because he is an idiot and he might be in love.

"Merry Christmas, Steve."

Steve tears open the package and pauses for a moment. Billy's stomach churns. He doesn't like it, a voice in his head says. It sounds like Neil. Of course he doesn't like it. It's a stupid gift from an idiot.

"Did you… record this yourself?"

Billy just shrugs, avoiding to look Steve in the eye. Waits for him to scoff, laugh or whatever. He doesn't.

Now Steve pulls him into a hug, so hard that it squeezes the air out of him.

"It's perfect. You're perfect," he mumbles into Billy's ear. "And I'll take that ticket out of Hawkins. Let's just leave. Soon. Together."

Billy bites back a sob of relief. Steve saying that is the best thing ever. He's so stupid for Steve Harrington.

Part 1 Part 2

[share-the-damn-bed]

I am 100% sure that they are gonna split the season and I am 100% sure that the last Jancy scene we'll get in volume 1 will be the blowup fight about college.

Hey, look, it's my most realistic season 5 nightmare haunting my ask box!

But seriously, Anon, there is a very real possibility this is exactly what will happen and it is partly why I'm so wary of a mid season break because I feel like the writers will use it to temporarily break up Jancy which will lead to a very stressful time between volumes.

However, I do still have hope. And I want offer a glimpse of that hope to break up the little bit of ask-related doom spiraling on my page recently.

At this point, I truly believe (after close analysis of all the ST4 scenes) that there is no chance for a St*ncy endgame. I really don't think Nancy's heart is in it authentically and I believe that the point of the entire plot line was to have Steve "crawl backwards" a bit, regress in his character development (since he was fully redeemed and they didn't know what to do with him) and give him a chance to mature past this once again in season 5 and win over the hearts of the audience in a way that parallels season 2. Fans love when Steve is a pathetic character they can root for (post-nancy dumping him, literally all of season 3). It's kinda like a reset for him.

I also believe that season 5 will end happily for all the main characters and I trust the writers to do right with all of them. Even Jonathan. I will argue that Jonathan actually did have a great arc set up in season 4 that was not focused on enough and was cut too early in the season until I'm blue in the face. They would be dumb not to explore it more in season 5 because his character needs it. I'm not saying that this guarantees a Jancy endgame but I do think it means the conflict with Jancy will be resolved in a way that satisfies both characters' overarching arcs. Even if they do temporarily break up between volumes. And I personally think that the best way to do that is by having Jancy end up together. Especially because...

The overarching theme of this show is the power of love. This has been shown repeatedly, especially in season 4. I believe this concept will be what our heroes will use to defeat Vecna in the end (especially with his anti-human/humans suck philosophy). Therefore, it only makes sense that love will be what will resolve this conflict between Jonathan and Nancy and that their love will help them overcome every obstacle.

For those, like me, who may agree with everything I stated above but are still wary because they no longer trust the writers, I want to point out one thing I've reflected on which may help...

I really hated the way they handled the Billy storyline in season 3 (sorry Billy fans). I didn't like how they made him an obvious human antagonist who was abusive towards Max in season 2 and then suddenly changed their relationship in season 3 where Max was worried about him and the show seemed to completely forget about all the horrible things he did in season 2. I thought his redemption attempt was cheap and I didn't bat an eye when he died. I was more concerned for Max but I was still confused why she was so upset. The show didn't do a decent job explaining any of this during that season.

I wrote this whole thing off as bad writing (which to be fair, in season 3 it mostly was) and I was very, very worried when I saw the trailer for season 4 for the first time (with Max reading a letter at Billy's grave) and learned that an episode was going to be called "Dear Billy".

HOWEVER, I thought season 4 did an amazing job, an actual incredible job, presenting Max's grief surrounding her step-brother and her mourning the relationship they would never have.

I'm not saying this makes season 3's writing choices suddenly good but it does give more context for why Max acted the way she did in season 3 AND the situation from season 3 gave the writers the foundation for the best storyline in season 4.

In summary, even though some choices did not make sense or seem good in season 4, I am going to trust the writers to tie things up in a satisfying way (just like they did with Max's relationship with Billy) in season 5. I want to wait to see the whole, complete story before I continue to judge them too harshly.

[sunflowersand-bees]

Romantic Lumax is not endgame

(This is probably not going to be the most structured analysis, but here we go.)

Now believe me, I'm just as sad as you are, I love Lumax, but I'm also convinced.

There's really just too much evidence to the contrary for the couple. They've been hinting at this for multiple seasons.

There are comparisons drawn and statements made that change how you might view Lumax, and there’s the issue of parallels. Lumax often parallels Melvin and Byler, showing that while they were really in love - Byler - they aren't an endgame couple - Melvin.

I've honestly been wondering about Lumax for quite a while. We know the ending scene of season four, where we have our three endgame couples, Jopper, Jancy, and Byler standing together at the end of the world.

I've always thought about this scene and what they thought they were doing. Because, if those are the endgame couples, and Lumax is also an endgame couple, why isn't Lumax in the scene? And of course, if Lumax isn't an endgame couple, why do everything that they have done with their relationship?

Now, the answer to the first question is simple. They aren't an endgame couple. But the second question is where it gets more tricky. Why would the Duffers even bother with Lumax from season to season, create such a dynamic, where everyone loves them and wants them to be endgame, but breaking them up repeatedly and giving us scenes that don't bode well for the future of Lumax?

Of course, there's more than just that final scene that's contributing to my doubts. That's just where they began.

Another scene that gave me pause was in episode 4, Dear Billy. Max is getting Vecnaed when she calls out for Lucas and Dustin. Let me say this again. Lucas AND Dustin. We know from previous seasons that typically one might call out the name of the person that means the most to them - El and Will calling for Mike and Nancy calling for Jonathan - but we know that Max doesn't see Dustin romantically, and she calls for both Dustin and Lucas, meaning they have the same importance in her mind. She wasn't just calling out for them because they came to the graveyard with her, because she doesn't call for Steve, even though he was present. We've also seen how Will only calls out Mike's name on Halloween, even though Lucas, Dustin, and Max were all present. So, Max calls for Lucas and Dustin. I mean, Max could always be developing romantic feelings for Dustin, but that makes no narrative sense and we have no evidence to back it up. We have seen that Max is getting closer to Dustin as the distance between her and Lucas grows, such as when she went to Dustin first out of everyone who was around after Chrissy's murder. But she is not in love with Dustin. There's no reason for her to be. There's no evidence. As such, the scene where she calls for both Dustin and Lucas is in contrast with the other three scenes I mentioned. It highlights that these two relationships are platonic.

In season 4, Max is having difficulty being vulnerable with Lucas, something that we see in both Stncy and Melvin in various seasons, whereas Byler, Jopper, and Jancy all have these sweet, emotionally vulnerable and honest moments with each other, in both season 3 and season 4. The moment Max tried to be vulnerable with Lucas - to tell the truth - Vecna intervened, stopping her. Max was unable to be vulnerable with Lucas throughout the entire season.

In S4 Ep 6, the group is walking through the woods on their way to Skull Rock, to meet up with Eddie and they’ve all grouped off. Dustin and Steve, Robin and Nancy, and Lucas and Max. Dustin, Steve, Robin, and Nancy are all in platonic pairings, so why would Lumax be a romantic pairing in this situation?

Lucas and Max have a small heart-to-heart where Lucas apologizes for not being there for her, and she tells him it’s not his fault and all that. Cut to Robin and Nancy, walking together. Robin says that Lucas and Max are adorable, and that she’s glad that this experience has begun to “rekindle old flames that should not have been put out” or something like that. Nancy asks if Robin means that as a hint, and Robin admits that it is. She wants Steve and Nancy to get together. She compares Lumax's reconciliation with a potential Stncy reconciliation. This is connecting Lumax and Stncy, and the couples’ futures.

Max's flashback sequence showed a lot of Lucas and El, her two closest friends, but also Dustin quite a few times, and even a shot of Mike. There is no shot of Will, because they weren't very close.

Max's good memory (the light) was the Snow Ball, but the Snow Ball was more than just where she first kissed Lucas. It was the first time that we see the party all together, no one possessed or anything. It was the very first time the entire party was united.

Lumax, Stncy, and Melvin all had multiple breakups, Stncy breaking up in season one and two, Lumax in season 3 and 4, and Melvin in season 3 and most likely 4 or 5. Lumax, Stobin, and Stncy were all identified and encouraged by Dustin. Lumax and Stobin both grabbed hands, and Dustin talked to both Steve and Lucas about the "electricity" he felt between the couples afterwards. 

El and Max were both not upset over their breakups in s3. When El dumps Mike and climbs on the bus, the lyrics talk about her being “as cold as ice” but the lyrics are applicable to Max here as well, not just El. If they were meant to be about El, and not about Max, the shot would be more El centric. She would be the focus of the shot, but she’s not centered or in the foreground. Instead, her and Max are on the same level. 

The scene where Max washes out Lucas' eyes after he gets sprayed with perfume parallels the scene where Max cleans up El's nosebleed, placing both scenes on the same level as each other, a platonic one.

Jancy, Jopper, and Byler are all slowburns, where the characters have known each other for years before getting romantically involved, whereas Melvin, Stncy, and Lumax were quite the opposite.

Steve dated a lot of girls and he probably didn't notice Nancy until shortly before they started dating. "You're gonna be so cool now..." - Barb, s1 ep1. This implies that now that Nancy and Steve are dating, she's going to be cool, or that before, Steve didn't hang around them. Lucas and Max met and then started dating a month later. Mike and El kissed within a week of their meeting.

The scene with Lucas holding Max's body and crying wasn't romantic, since El was there too, although Lucas didn't know that. Both El and Lucas being there at Max's death placed them on the same level, a platonic one.

In season 3 episode 1, Lucas and Max both leave the hillside before Dustin and Will, skipping hand in hand, just like El and Mike did. Lucas and Mike both make several large blunders in s3, saying stupid things/lying to their girlfriends, and they both call their girlfriends members of a different species. Lucas' relationship advice for Mike didn't work, showing that Lucas' relationship experience isn't anything that an endgame relationship would use.

Now, Lucas staying by Max's bedside parallels Byler and the Byler/Lumax double date could be taken as evidence for endgame Lumax, but I don't think they are. I think it's evidence that, unlike Stncy and Melvin, Lumax is a healthy relationship. No one is lying to the other and no one has to change who they are to be “loved”. Their love is requited, unlike Melvin and Stncy. But they have broken up and they won't be getting back together.

Some of the evidence that places El and Lucas on the same level could mean Elumax endgame (as this post explains), but the Lumax/Melvin parallels have discouraged this, as well as the symbolism where we see El standing alone at the end of the season.

Recently, I posted a compilation of a series of platonic hugs.

These posts are all times when El was frightened, she's hugging people who her relationship with is familial or platonic. But later on we see...

This pic could be taken as evidence to disprove any romantic Elmax theories, due to the parallels above, and then we see...

This. Lucas holding Max. We have a whole ton of platonic friends/family hugging each other like this and then a supposedly endgame couple?

All of these pictures have two major things in common. One, the character being hugged is upset and crying. Two, the character isn't looking at the person who is hugging them, or any other character that's in the scene with them.

All of the previous pictures were platonic, why wouldn't this one be? Two of the scenes take place between supposedly "endgame" couples, Lumax and Melvin. Both of these scenes have other people in the shot, whereas the other pictures only had the two hugging characters. (Living-character wise, anyway. I'm pretty sure the Elmax hug has Billy's body in the scene.)

Anyway, I love Lumax as much as the next person (as long as the next person isn't a Lumax stan acc bc I obv don't love it quite that much) but they're just not endgame. I think Max, Lucas, and El are all going to end up single in s5 (hopefully with bi!Lucas and bi!Max canon because the rainbow associations, explained in the post i linked a while ago, are insane).

[awesome-opossum-after-hours]

rewatch details/thoughts part 2 (s2 ep4- s2 ep9)

-okay so the beginning of ep4 bears a STRIKING resemblance to the whole "Chrissy wake up" scene (except obviously Will doesn't get killed). so why did Vecna keep him alive when he could've easily taken him?

- also, Will's drawing of the Mindflayer is almost identical to Creel's spider drawing, but obviously a different setting

-can we talk about Will's breakdown to Joyce and him just sobbing "I just want this to be over!" because thats so fucking heartbreaking

-Hopper has one if those stupid bass fish decorations on him cabin wall. why, bro?

-why did I JUST realize that El was so upset about the TV being taken away, not just because it's a source of entertainment, but because she uses it as white noise to contact Mike? maybe I'm stupid

-Dustin relocated his turtle and never put him back. rip Yurtle

- I feel like the fact that Dustin also used to like Max is pretty overlooked. don't get me wrong, Lucas and Max all the way I mean they're adorable. but it would've been interesting either way

-so at the end of season 4, Will says that the "He" that was in his mind in season 2 was Vecna, but in s2 they pointed to a drawing of the mindflayer and asked if that was the "he" and Will said yes. so either he said that because of how often he'd see the Mindflayer in his visions, or Vecna was presenting himself as it in Will's mind. either way I wanna see that touched on more in the last season.

- the demobat trailer scene heavily parallels the junkyard demodog scene in s2 ep6, just in a different sequence. in the case of Eddie, they build the defense on the trailer, run inside and defend against bats trying to come in, THEN Eddie runs out and sacrifices himself. in the case of Steve, they fortify the old bus, Steve uses himself as bait, and then (as he should've) ran back into the bus to ward of the demodogs

-most of El's clothes are WAY too big, specifically her flannels. are they Hopper's?

-Kali has different powers than her siblings, and it's not ever said if she also has telekinesis. it seemed like 10 had sloghtly different powers too, which is a bit of a red flag for Eleven, seeing as she has the exact same powers as 001.

-the captions on ep7 made me realize that I've been singing Runaway by Bon Jovi pretty incorrectly lol

-the way the term "mouthbreather" got pretty dropped is sad :( it held a lot of power

-are the streets of Chicago really that scary? someone from the area please tell me

-Kali's power sorta does tie in with 001, actually. so maybe each kid has a little part of his overall abilities? El's telekinesis/ mind communication, Kali's illusions (like the clock, since anything else is actually in the victim's mind), and 010 seemed to have that sort of "true sight"

- Kali's room has a half lit neon sign of a Hamsa Hand- the universal sign of protection

-some of the graffiti in their hideout says: "Hottie", "So Long and Thanks", "Mena", "Forgot", "TR 117", "Wicked", and "Stinky Fa-" (rt..?) didn't catch the rest of that one

-if Kali escaped before the massacre, Henry possibly helped her. if she had helped him back like El eventually did, maybe it would've happened earlier, taking Eleven down with them. reason being, the speech she gives to El about tapping into strong and angering memories is strikingly similar to the advice Creel gives her in the rainbow room flashback. maybe Kali got the same advice?

-I miss Funshine.

- though "Dead End Justice" was a good choice, I think "Cherry Bomb" would've been equally as badass for El's bitchin makeover

-am I the only one who forgot that the guy Kali and El torture literally SAYS that Brenner is alive??? and it's just brushed over. like, I still thought he was dead until season 4 lmao

- while hyping himself up in the mirror, Billy oils up his... yk...

-speaking of Billy, he has a "Kill Em All" poster on his wall. the duality of 80s Metallica fans, apparently

-again, on the topic of Billy's room, he also has a Mötley Crüe album and a dartboard sitting on his bureau

-if I was Bob in that one scene, I'd be shitting my pants. shaking, crying, throwing up, quaking in my boots. mans was playing a real life FNAF Sister Location or some shit. idk my sister made me play once bc she couldn't beat the part with the flashlights and the endoskeletons and I hated that enough. no thank you, I'd rather be out in the open schmaking the shit out of demobats than bolting down dark hallways.

-joyce's trauma seeing Bob die in front of her got so overlooked in s3, plus eventually seeing Hopper "die" as well. it makes the scene in the Russian prison where Hop is using himself as bait a lot more powerful, I'm glad they brought that up so it wasn't just forgotten

-everyone's methods of understanding and dealing with these things are so different, and it's seen clearly in the part where Steve and the kids are left alone at the Byers' house. Steve uses sports terms, Max wanted cut and dry evidence, and the boys resorted to DnD analogies.

-"[The Mindflayer] its so ancient, it doesn't even know its true home" is an overlooked line, I'd like to see that explained more in season 5. the whole "it believes its the master race" though reminds me of Vecna saying how humans were a special kind of pest

-i wish we got to see Joyce's reaction when she found the demodog's dead body in her fridge

-

[lesbianrobin]

hi!! jumping off from all the love for ur fics (SO DESERVED by the way u are such a good writer + always nail the characterisations so well <3), i was wondering if u had any writing advice? i'm trying to start writing my own fics after years of reading others + finding it hard to actually finish anything once i get started

thank you so much!! i'm not an expert by any means but i have been writing lil fics since i was a kid and i took one (1) creative writing class so hopefully i can help a little bit!! i'm just gonna give you some bullet point tips if that's okay.

you'll have an easier time finishing the things you start if you start with small ideas. if you know you're unlikely to finish a super-long multi-chapter fic, then start with something short!! choose an idea that you can realistically explore and find some conclusion to within a thousand or two thousand words. for example, one of my favorite things i've ever written is i want your midnights, which is straight up just steve and robin hanging out and counting down the minutes til midnight on new years eve! it's only 2,156 words and i'm pretty sure i wrote it in one sitting. not that you have to write something in one sitting ksndcdm that isn't what i'm saying but my Point is that most people (myself included) need to work up to writing longer fics. there's nothing wrong with just writing a single scene! my "dear steve" fic ab max writing her goodbye letters is only 625 words. another one of my favorite fics is just about steve and max having a conversation at billy's funeral. i think single-scene fics like these really let you practice your dialogue and characterization without having to worry about plot at the same time.

write towards something!! this could mean just having an ending in mind when you start, or it could mean literally writing your big scenes first even if they don't come first chronologically. when i wrote my steve time loop fic, i actually wrote his big conversation with nancy and jonathan before almost anything else. that scene is over 3000 words into the fic, but it's the thing that really inspired me, so i went ahead and wrote it, and then i liked it so much that i was motivated to write all the stuff beforehand and then motivated to finish the fic up. this isn't gonna work for everyone. i know some people (cough sarah @steveharrington cough) who just can't make themselves write things out of order. but even if you write everything in order, it can help to keep in mind whatever you want to happen in the future to motivate you and give you some idea of how to direct your writing.

don't stop reading!! all the time i see people make mistakes or use clunky verbiage in fic that makes it clear they just. don't really read books or short stories or anything. like this might make me sound mean kdsjncdkmn but sometimes it can be like. really obvious when All somebody reads is fanfiction. i think that reading varied things (books, fics, short stories, articles, poems, etc) can also help you develop your own style because you'll get greater exposure to different writing techniques and have the opportunity to figure out what you like and don't like!

if you're new to writing in general, i encourage you to try different things. try writing a scene in past tense, then try it in present tense, see which you like better, that sort of thing!

this one is easier said than done, but having a writing buddy can be really helpful!! this doesn't necessarily need to be somebody who also writes fic. i send my bestie sarah updates as i write, and part of my motivation to write comes from how fun it is to send her updates and get her reactions to everything!! writing can be a very solitary hobby if you want it to be, but it can also be social, and i personally find it way more rewarding when it's social.

btw if you're gonna be sharing your fics with friends i think the best place to write is in google docs. it's super easy to share with others and you can access your files on any device which i find convenient because i often end up writing on my phone in bed at night bc i had some idea i just couldn't let go.

ok this is getting way longer than i meant it to be snjcdkx so LAST TIP! i'm gonna caution against reading a Ton of fic while you're writing. i think if you read a lot of fic sometimes it can throw off your characterization. instead of actually getting inside the character's head, you default to parroting whatever fics you've read. i'm like a freak about characterization i'm very picky about it skdndkmc but people compliment me on my characterization a lot and i think that's because i make a conscious effort to keep my fics grounded in the characters' canon behavior and my Own understanding of them rather than the fanon understanding.

that's about it!! please ask if you have any more specific questions or if you're confused about anything i said here, i know i can get very ramble-y at times. thank you again and i hope you have fun writing!!

[slayernina]

Winter Special analysis

Winter Special is the one shot located just after the end of season 2. More precisely, on 25th December. Eleven passes her first Christmas with the Party at the Byler’s. With the exception of some laughs because of several panels (more on that later) and some small winks to the fandom, it’s pure filler. I’m getting more and more disappointed with the comics, to be fair. Also, there are a lot of references to the 80s, but this time, so obscure that my Millenial European ass didn’t get them, so feel free to answer in the comments about what they were about, because I don’t have any clue.

Full spoilers under the cut.

My other metas here

La maldición de las cuatro brujas here

Una novela romántica de esas con un macizorro sin camiseta en la portada here

Buy me a ko-fi!

Steve (with Dustin) picks up Mike and Lucas. Yeah, our fanfics in which Steve is the official driver of the group are true. Dustin salutates with a reference to a  commercial. No idea.

Eleven’s status as Mike’s friend/girlfriend with the Wheelers is unclear: they still think she is a “Russian spy or something” but they have met her? In Dungeons & Dragons and season 3 they did (at least Karen answers the phone and doesn’t seem surprised), so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ .

Lucas (and Dustin’s) present for Max are new wheels for the skateboard. Eleven’s present is from the full Party but is at the Byers’ home.

Max is excluded from the comic again. Why. Why? Why?? What the writers have against her inclusion in the comics??? She is the 6th ranger! A member of the Party! Her only appearance was in the Dungeons & Dragons comic and solely to kill the NPC character with Billy’s face! They are never going to fill her gap between season 2 and 3??? She drugged and almost castrated Billy, and Billy was the main antagonist for 2 fucking seasons!!!  Le sigh. I demand season 4 full of Max content, ffs.

Suddenly Dustin sees something into the woods. Wow, Dustin is Hawkeye.

The group continues until the Byers’. Eleven is wearing her season 2 snowball scene. Hopper looks like the Jopper date on season 3, minus the Hawaiian shirt. Steve doesn’t stay. I get he is uncomfortable around Jonathan or Nancy, but this is another wasted opportunity to make the Monster Hunting Trio interact. When it’s going to happen? 

Also, where is Nancy? She should be in that dinner...

At least we discover the demodog of the Byers’ fridge dissolved during the night. Lame excuse, but at least it’s one.

Eleven opens her present. She has already the Hungry Hungry Hippos (a nice nod to the book Darkness In The Edge of Town) and she gets a walkie. Awww.

The Party wants Eleven the “full” Christmas experience, so Will and Jonathan recorded all TV specials they could. There is a small hint again about Will’s poverty through Dustin’s privileged POV, in which he is surprised Eleven (at the cabin they only catch 3 channels) and Will don’t have cable.

All Specials have their own distinct art style. Nice.

The 1st Special is the “Origin Santa Story”. I think it was a real special of muppets/stop motion, but again, not sure. Anyway, the protagonist (Mike) is a kid named Claus. He lives with a bunch of elves (Joyce and the rest of the Party) and makes toys. He grows up (Mike becomes Hopper. Ohhh Freud would have fun with this) and becomes “Super Santa”, giving toys to children in the night.

The 2nd Special is a Grich rippoff story, in which “the Grinch” is a Demogorgon, was found by Holly, and in the end ate dinner with Karen, Ted, Holly and Nancy. Holly still exists, lol.

Hopper proposes a story about “the guy who meets the angel who makes it so he was never born”. According to Joy, a story about suicide. WTF. No idea about what this was. Also a hint about what we know of season 4?

The 3rd story is A Christmas Carol, in which Dr Brenner is Scrooge. The first ghost is Sarah, the second is Benny, and the third is a skeleton. I laughed my ass off, “Brenner’s” expressions (including going outside in pyjamas) are priceless.

Dustin is still bothered by whatever is out in the forest. He starts his story, which I think is something related to Snoopy, but not sure. Anyway, the dog of his story is Dart. And this is when they tell about Dart to Eleven.

The Party go outside to find the “thing”, and it’s a rabbit in a trap. Eleven remembers the rabbit she ate when she was in the forest. Okay, it’s good to see some trauma there. Despite how Eleven survived several months in winter by her own, which I found more impossible than Russians building a secret lab under a mall. They bring the rabbit home and Joyce patches her up.

The issue ends with the known “Christmas is people” message, watching all the Specials on TV.

[bookgeekgrrl]

My media this week (29 May-4 Jun 2022)

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

😊 Rose Blue (Metalbvcky) - reread of this modern no-powers Stucky BDSM fic because I also read a lot of the shorter follow-on fics and wanted to refresh my memory on these characterizations

🥰 👂 The Murder of Mr. Wickham (Claudia Gray, author; Billie Fulford-Brown, narrator) - this is a mashup of Jane Austen and Agatha Christie, in that all of Austen's characters gather for a house party and then there's a murder - I feel like this is a book where either you're here for the premise and enjoy the ride or you should stay away entirely. For my part I had a blast reading this, just a fun, entertaining romp. I am fine with all the modernizing touches that literally everyone writing today does in historical fiction. I enjoyed seeing a possible version of (mostly) beloved characters after their HEAs, some as much as 20+ years on! Of course the Tilneys' daughter would be the one with enough gumption and curiosity to want to investigate a murder! Of course the Darcys have a son who's very neurodivergent! Loved the scene where Elizabeth has a little too much wine (after an extremely bad day) and channels a little too much of her dad! Shout out to the info we get about Mary Bennet's happily ever after; four for you, Mary! Can't believe this book made me remotely tolerate Fanny & Edmund! The murder was decently plotted and played 'the game' as it should be. Anyway, if this is your flavor of amusement, you'll know it.

😍 The Rules of Play (Ribbonsflying) - loved this Stucky historical BDSM AU - loved the power dynamics at play and has one of the hottest ice play scenes I've read

🥰 Wish Granted (ambut) - another really good variation on the 'recovering veteran Bucky finds solace and some healing with professional Dom Steve' - this had lots of delish praise kink which I eat like ice cream and also a more realistic depiction of Bucky dealing with his amputation/prosthetic which was nice to see

💖💖 +263K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖

Say it louder for the people in the back (redhook) - MCU: shrinkyclinks AU, 14K - reread of THEE preeminent glory hole fic in this fandom - no matter how many times I read it, it's never not fantastic

Lullaby for Futures Lost - Chapter 16: Vignettes Part 2 - The End (Oh_i_swear) - MCU: shrunkyclunks omegaverse AU, 8K - delightful post HEA vignettes in this wonderful universe

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

Legends of Tomorrow - s5, e2-12 - my love for this entirely bananapants hella fucking queer show grows with each season

🎧 PODCASTS🎧

Hit Parade - State of the World Edition

Hit Parade - Lost and Lonely Edition

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - A Sound Garden

Hit Parade - Flip It and Reverse It

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Two of Our Favorite Mummies

Switched on Pop - The 1980s jam that gave Latto and Mariah Carey Big D*** Energy

Song Exploder - Rick Astley "Never Gonna Give You Up"

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Madame Tussaud

99% Invisible #493 - Divining Provenance

Still Processing - And a Britney Song Was On …

Strong Songs - Three to Tango, with Alex Krebs and Andrew Oliver

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - San Juan Sound

Shedunnit - The Queen of True Crime

Lingthusiasm - Bonus 64: There's like, so much to like about "like"

Shedunnit - Bonus: Ask Me Anything Part One

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

New Jack Swing Anthems

Best Of The Cure

Give 'Em the Hooks!

Presenting Siouxsie and the Banshees

Lowrider Oldies

My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult

Nitzer Ebb

Strong Songs podcast playlist

[roanofarcc]

Okay yes with what you said about the distraction stuff!! Like the whole of the last couple seasons is the government doing things under people’s noses without others realizing it. But now in the third season they’re giving presents or bribing the citizens of Hawkins and no one even knows it. Like the whole gang is blindsided by it until the dangerous events start to actually happen. Not until the gate is open and the rats and Billy acts weirdly do the gang that is in the know fully comprehend that it is happening… again. Like I think there’s more to analyze about it but also idk what else to say about it right now.

Also I’ve been in love with the whole concept of the full war between them ever since I’ve thought about it. Because like you said the upside down and the monsters there is not going to be happy with the fact that the governments are interacting with it. You even see that in season 2 where the lab is specifically targeted. Because it’s interesting to me that the ‘trap’ wasn’t fully a trap until Mike, Joyce, bob, Will, and hopper where in the actual lab. It wasn’t until Will was in the lab that the monsters actually decided to strike. Because like I think it had a couple days to hit everyone and actually cause destruction. However, like I’ve been saying it didn’t fully actually cause destruction until the lab. Like yeah you had dart but it was also just becoming it’s own species so that doesn’t really count. And you didn’t have the others/army of demodogs until the mindflayer actually caused a scene. And also another interesting thing that you said was the gang understands the complexities of the upside down. Because yes!! That is such an interesting point!! Like the gang has only learned about the upside down because of survival. It’s such an interesting thing that I think makes them such interesting protagonists. Their whole thing is that they want to protect their friends and just survive. Meanwhile, everyone doesn’t realize how well they actually understand the upside down. They have the analogies or metaphors to dnd but because they just think it’s just metaphors from dnd, they don’t think about the fact that they have this insight/understanding to the upside down. Their motivations are completely different from brenner and the other scientists. It’s also why I think the upside down just likes them in a sense. To the gang: it’s just survival and we’re going to save our friends no matter what.

okay yes I agree and believe Steve is a predictable character to die. Especially when we know throughout the show the writers have never actually shyed away from a challenge or using a somewhat reversible trope. Like with how Steve and Nancy were having sex while Barb was the one who died. Which by the way I actually love that choice so much and it was such a unique way to go. And how they did with the love triangle (even though it ended up a mess with how the writers did; they also allowed the complicated stuff mean something. Nancy went back to Steve at the end of season 1. Even though I hated how everything ended with the love triangle the writers weren’t afraid of allowing that complicated mess). And the whole complicated mess in season 3 with Will feeling left out and even though this was somewhat predictable Dustin was mainly with Steve.

I hope we see that kind of divide between the lab/government and the hawkins gang. like if something happens and they are like forced to work together to take out the bigger threat that is the upside down, like you said, everything that the party has witnessed they tied back to a board game. and like, that's not exactly how the government is going to view it. like in season two when they're at the byers and hopper tries to call about the horrors that just happened in the lab, mike says something like "you can't just shoot this with guns." but that's exactly what the american government would try to do. if things get out of hand, which we can assume they will, they're gonna wanna shoot first ask questions later. where as the party and company know how to strategize their attacks based on their previous knowledge of the upside down and their dnd knowledge.

like, the party holds the upper hand in the sense and if something does happen where they team up with the government to stop the upside down from destroying everything, I don't think they'll be listened to. which will probably lead to more rogue operations. and like with that, even if they do save the world, I wonder what the consequences of that will be? like they haven't really had to pay any repercussions from the government aside from not being able to tell anyone what happened/what they saw. I'm just really excited to have the us government like play a larger role as the bad guy/good guy.

ah yes! I love how more in season 1 & 2 a lot of like horror movie tropes were flipped on their heads. nancy especially. like usually when a female character has sex that's basically a death sentence while the virgin girl is portrayed as a final girl or something along those lines. but it was barb who died that night. and like nancy walks all the way home, in the dark, after having sex, and she survives. same with like steve's character and his character arc. and if the series rounds out with mike and will together (which I'm not saying it will or it won't) that would be a major shift from what typically happens in a lot these movies/TV shows. like if the main couple (mike and el) aren't a couple at the end of series, I think it would be really interesting. and with all these different couples and such, having them change around and people realize feelings for other people is all a part of growing up. and like at the core, besides the monsters and shit, that's a what a large part of this show is like about.

[strangersails]

there’s this scene in good will hunting (which is my favourite movie and you totally should watch it if you haven't already)((also I am totally gonna spoil it, so keep scrolling if you don't wanna get it spoiled)) that i really think would be so good in a harringrove fic. this is how i imagine it:

everything is pretty much the same, but billy and steve never got into that fight at the end of season 2, and billy never becomes the mindflayer. it's summer, billy and steve end up getting along.

it all starts with a tipsy, aggressive, very erotic make out session in the bathroom of a party – where there's a lot of teeth and tongue and pushing and hair grabbing that leave steve breathless.

the next day steve goes to the pool with dustin; billy pushes him in a changing room and asks him what's he doing there. steve for a moment thinks he's going to get punched when he doesn't know what to answer to that, cause it's obvious he's there for a reason. he's never been to the pool since billy got the job and then he shows up there the day after they made out. but then billy shoves a hand down steve's shorts and jerks him off. they don't kiss and don't talk – besides billy's “be quiet”. billy cleans his fingers on steve's mouth, looking straight to his eyes, and says “next time just ask”, before he leaves. steve takes a cold shower before he gets back to dustin.

the next time steve actually asks. not directly for sex, but he asks billy to come to his house – his parents are out of town. when billy gets there, it gets weird. steve doesn't know what to say, billy isn't really a talkative guy either. he asks billy if he wants something to drink, or to eat.

billy declines politely. then he asks “what am i here for, harrington?”. straight to the point.

steve doesn't know how to say what billy wants to hear.

“what am i here for?” billy asks again, stepping a little closer. his hair are damp, like he didn't take the time to dry them properly. he looks like an angel, it's ridiculous.

steve opens his mouth to talk, but nothing comes out.

billy grabs him by the collar, then pulls him closer, and it does something to steve's stomach. “use your words, harrington.”

billy says it with a tone so calm and polite, yet so commanding, steve's heart starts racing.

steve gulps, his eyes falling on billy's mouth, down his neck, his open, black shirt revealing the tanned skin of his chest.

steve turns his brain off and leans in, presses his mouth against billy's. he's barely able to brush their lips together, before billy unclenches his hands from steve's collar and wraps it around his neck, palm pressing against his throat as he pushes steve's face away.

“you don’t get to kiss me until you tell me what you want” billy tighten his hands around his throat just a little, enough for him to feel steve's veins pulsing fast against it.

“god, you're an asshole” steve says, closing one hand around billy's wrist. “i want you” he gives in, eventually, cheeks getting red and dark immediately as he admits that.

that's how they end up fucking for the first time. billy is rough and fast and doesn't mind if it hurts a little. even in bed he looks angry, steve notices, in the way he tells steve to hurry up and add a finger as steve tries to prepare him, in the way he slides down steve's hard dick without hesitation, in the way he pins steve's wrists on the mattress over his head, with force. his eyes, though, they never leave steve's.

they don't kiss after. billy rolls off next to him and takes a minute, his chest dirty and wet rising and falling as his breath settles.

“so” he says as he wipes off his come from his skin with steve's t-shirt. “when are mommy and daddy harrington coming home?”

“not until next week i guess” steve lifts himself on his elbows as he watches billy getting dressed back. “why do you ask?”

billy glances at him for less than a second, a grin widening on his mouth, as he leaves the question unanswered.

“use your words, hargrove” steve mimics him. he has his full attention now.

“so i can come to fuck you stupid again, harrington.”

he comes again the next night, cause they both have their shifts. steve blows him. it's his first time, but billy looks pretty much satisfied, if his moans and tight grip on his hair are anything to go by. then they fuck and billy makes him come twice. when they're done, steve asks him if he wants to order a pizza – he's doing it anyway, with or without him. he just wants to be nice. billy says thanks and declines, he's got to go get max at the arcade. they've got to be home by 8. steve doesn't insist.

it takes a while for them to actually start talking, to go past their average flirty bickering. now billy stays a little after they fuck, sometimes he eats a slice of steve's pizza and asks a couple of curious questions about his parents not being around, about the fact that he's not going to college, about nancy. when steve asks things back it's usually “time for me to go, pretty eyes”.

it takes a while for billy to open upba little. the first time it happens, they're outside billy's car, at the quarry, cause steve's parents are back in town and they can't hook up at home. they're sharing a joint and a couple of beers and steve asks him why they moved to hawkins.

“my father's family lives around here” he says, after a sip of beer.

they talk about billy's parents' divorce, about billy's wish to go back to cali after graduation. his friends and mom are there, he's got pretty much nothing here in hawkins. he looks very attached to his mom, by the way he talks about her, with a fondness steve has never heard in his voice.

it's not like they end up dating. not really. but they actually start to hang around, between hook up sessions and make out sessions. that's another thing they apparently do now, sometimes. take their time to kiss. billy is even a little gentler in the way he touches him. he kisses him slow and deep and steve sometimes feels his soul leaving his body when billy does that.

it looks like they're getting closer, but steve feels that... there is something. like billy's holding something back. he hates the feeling. it's almost like he still doesn't really know billy, even though he knows a lot of things now – how billy likes his coffee, which songs billy trains to, the face he makes when he's tired, he knows his pizza order and which songs he hums when he's happy and little things like these. he knows what he sees, but there's something billy is just. not saying. steve decides to give billy his time. he'll talk, eventually.

it's october when billy shows up at the harrington mansion, japanese take-away in his hands, history book tucked between his teeth.

things feels different now. billy is different. even thought there are things billy just won't open about, and things billy wouldn't say, steve knows things are different between them now. that they're much more intimate.

“god you're the best” steve tells him, and he doesn't help him with the bags in his hands. he just closes the door behind him, takes the book from his teeth and kisses him. “i might blow your soul off your dick later for this.”

“or you can help me with this shit? i have a test tomorrow” billy says, annoyed by the thought, as he puts the food on the table. “you can save the blowjob for tomorrow, maybe?”

steve doesn't answer the question right away. this is new. steve is offering him his best blowjob and billy is saying no to that because he wants to study? okay, the study is not a news. the news is billy being there for the sake of being there and not for the sex.

“or we can- you know what? we can do that. i'll study after” billy says since steve didn't answer.

“no, it's fine. we don't have to do that everytime, you know” steve tells him, and he means it.

“no, i want to do that” billy insists.

“i know that, how can you not want this pretty mouth on you, i mean,” billy rolls his eyes at him, then steve adds, “but we don't have to. we can just hang out. it's fine. i'll blow you tomorrow. if you do good with the test.”

billy looks at him for a long moment, head tilted just a little to the side. he looks like he wants to say something, but he doesn't. he just reaches for steve's stupid polo and pulls him in for a kiss.

billy doesn't show up at steve's house, the next day. he calls and says that he's sick, cause he's not used to the sudden temperature drops. steve tells him to eat soup and to rest, and that he'll blow him twice when he gets well.

he doesn't hear from billy for two days. he's tried to call him two times. the first time nobody picked up the phone, the second time a man steve supposed was billy's dad told him billy wasn't home these days. steve doesn't know what to think. why billy told him he was sick if he wasn't even gonna be at home? steve was confused. pissed off too.

dustin is over to watch a movie when billy presents there, a few days later, looking prettier than ever. steve wants to punch him, even though his body's first instinct is to go kiss him.

“oh, he's alive” steve says, instead, sarcastic, on the porch, a few steps away from him. “happy to see your fever is gone.”

billy raise his eyebrows, then makes an apologetic face. “okay, that's- that's fair, I guess.”

“you guess. you tell me you got sick, then disappear for a weak and i have to know from your father that you're not even in hawkins.”

billy looks kinda surprised. he exhales. “invite me in, so i can tell you.”

steve doesn't move.

“what? i can't come in now?” billy asks.

steve contemplates the idea of telling him he can't. the idea of hurting him back. but he doesn't really want to do that on purpose. “it's just. dustin's over.”

billy nods, but stays silent. he just stares at steve for a long moment, like he's torn between doing and not doing something. then he comes closer.

steve doesn't move away, but he kind of puts distance between them by crossing his arms on his chest.

billy clenches his hands on his sides. he doesn't like that. the distance. being rejected.

“look. i don't know why i didn't tell you. i just went back to cali to see my mom” billy explains. “i wanted to tell you. i don't know why i didn't. i should have, i am sorry.”

this is something steve wasn't prepared for. billy being sorry, giving explainations. if steve'd have imagined to be in this situation with him, he totally would've thought that billy would've been pissed off back at him. that billy would've told him he owes him nothing, that it's not like they're together.

and now he doesn't know what to say.

billy's got this big weird look on his face. he looks tired. he looks something, steve doesn't exactly know what. steve wants to hug him.

dustin yelling from the couch is the only thing that breaks the silence. steve ignores him.

“okay” he says to billy, undoing his arms from his chest. he inhales deeply, then sighs against the palms of both his hands. he looks at billy from behind his fingers.

“you're serious? we're good?” billy asks, like he doesn't really believes that.

“i guess” steve's still mad, but he doesn't want to. “i don't know, i can't really stay mad at your stupidly pretty face. it's unfair that you look like that.”

steve kind of hoped that would make billy smile, but billy doesn't. he looks at him in silence, then he pulls him in. billy hugs him so tight, more than he's ever done. steve should feel relieved, but somehow his stomach does this weird, uncomfortable thing. he holds billy back anyway.

billy doesn't need to say that he's missed steve.

steve missed billy too. it was weird not to see him for almost a week. they got used to meeting almost everyday.

“okay” billy says against is neck, before he steps back. “can we do something tomorrow?”

“yep. what do you wanna do?”

“i don't know. can we stay here? or your parents are home?” billy lets his hands slip in the pocket of his jeans. he looks so small, right now.

“uh, no, we can stay here” steve says, then looks at the door. “look, i don't want to drop you, but. dustin is inside right now, so...”

“okay” billy looks like he gets it. “hey. you're sure we're fine?”

he makes steve want to say yes, cause billy looks like something happened. but he also wants to say no, cause. there's just something.

“i don't know,” steve says eventually, “i am not mad. i just think we need to talk about it more tomorrow.”

billy leaves in a minute. steve watches him get in his car, which is dirty and he can see bags in the backseat. he looks like he just came back. like he didn't even go home before.

steve hated keeping distance, being cold to billy, especially when he looked so tired and sad. he wonders what happened back to cali. steve can't really stop his mind about what billy is hiding until he goes to bed and his eyes close.

the next day billy rings his doorbell at 8 in the morning.

steve just opened his eyes, but he hadn't left the bed yet. he has to, now. he looks like shit.

billy looks handsome as always. it's not fair.

“bonjour” he says, like steve hasn't just got down the bet because of him.

“fuck you and fuck french too” steve leaves the door open for billy, but goes straight to the couch.

he hears billy laughs behind him, then the door clicks closed. “somebody here is in a good mood.”

“why do you do this to me?” steve buries his face in a pillow, as he lays on the couch, face down.

“cause i am evil, baby” the nickname makes steve's heart miss a beat. “how about i make you coffe?”

steve feels two hands run from the small of his back up to his shoulders, a shiver thunders down his spine. that feels so good.

“you're not evil” steve says, relaxing under billy's touch. “you're the devil. stop using your charm on me. i am mad. i hate you. you can't touch me like this and call me baby and make me coffee and use this- polite, soft voice with me.”

“i know your weaknesses” billy says with his voice still low and silky.

steve lets him press his finger against his muscles for another minute, then he sits up.

“okay, i am awake now” steve looks at billy's red knucles. that must be the cold air. “why are you here so early? i thought you were coming tonight. or, you know. after school.”

“i didn't want to wait. i wanted to make it up to you” he says, touching steve's knee gently with his fingers. “you said you weren't mad.”

“it's true. i am not mad.” steve means it. “but there are things i don't understand.”

billy gets a little tens, steve can see the muscle on his jaw work and his shoulder raise a little.

“why didn't you tell me you were going to see your mom?” steve asks.

billy exhales heavily. “i don't know, i told you.”

“c'mon. how can you not know?”

“cause i don't. it just happened. i wanted to tell you, the other day, you know? i just couldn't. you know me, i'm not good with sharing things” billy admits. “i don't do friends.”

steve raise an eyebrow at him. “so what are we doing? you want me to believe this is just about the sex?”

billy wets his lips with his tongue, but avoids steve's eyes.

“why are you here, billy?” steve asks him. “you want to make it up to me but you can't even say i'm something more than a hole to you.”

“of course you are. what are you talking about? i never said that” billy makes a face. “we are. friends. i guess.”

“you guess?” steve feels his stomach burn. “you know i don't kiss my friends, do you?”

“steve. please. don't make this weird.” billy runs his hands over his face.

“i'm not” steve says. it's not like he's asking for the moon. it's the bare minimum. they've spent a ridiculous amount of time together by now, in and outside the bed. billy doesn't even consider steve a friend. steve feels like fucking dying right now.

“yes, you are! you know you mean something to me! stop treating me like i don't give a shit” billy has this frown on face.

“i never said that” steve points out, and he gets up from the couch. he's getting nervous. he tangle his arms on his chest.

“you didn't have to!” billy is getting nervous too.

“so what? you want to blame me now? you do act like you don't care!”

billy gets up from the couch. “you know, it's funny, i thought you'd-” he huffs and then shakes his head. “nevermind.”

“don't put your shit on me, when you're the one that's afraid” steve can't hold it back now.

things fall apart real fast.

“i'm afraid? what am i afraid of?” billy has never had this look on his face. “what the fuck am i afraid of?”

“you're afraid of me, you're afraid that i won't love you back!” steve didn't mean to raise his voice like that. “you know what? i'm afraid too! but fuck, i wanna give it a shot and at least i'm honest with you.”

“i'm not honest with you?”

“no. what about your mom?” steve corners him, this time.

billy stays still for less than a second, startled. “alright” he says as he turns around and heads toward the door “i'm not doing this shit.”

steve overtakes him and physically blocks the door. “no, you're not going. you're not leaving.”

billy's eyes are big, the vein on his forehead is pulsing like crazy too. “what do you wanna know, what?! that my mother didn't want to meet me? that she didn't just divorce my father? that she fucking left me?”

steve feels a pain in his chest at the words. “i didn't know that.”

“you don't wanna hear that. you don't wanna hear that i get hit by my father since she left us when i was a little kid, that this scar isn't from fucking surgery, that the motherfucker cut me” billy is shaking.

steve feels his eyes getting wet at the thought of what billy had to go through all his life, even though he holds the tears back. “i didn't know that, bills.”

“don't tell me you wanna hear that shit, steve” billy says.

“i do” steve says.

“don't tell me you want to hear that shit!” billy is yelling. steve has never seen him like this.

“i do, because i am here, because i want to help” he says, before he can even think of what he says.

“help me? what the fuck, do I have I fucking sign on my back that says "save me"?”

“billy” steve says, his heart has never beaten so fast.

“do i look like i need that?”

steve gets a little closer to him. he hates to see billy like this, scared and upset, and like he thinks he's alone.

“no” steve says, reaching his face with his hands, softly, cause he wants him to know he's there. “i just want to be with you, cause i love you”.

“don't bullshit me, steve” he says as he grabs his wrists and pushes him against the door.

steve keeps saying he's not, but billy repeats “DON'T FUCKING BULLSHIT ME”, punching the door right next to steve twice.

steve is not afraid of billy. he knows he's just letting go of the rage, that he's upset right now and he needs to build this wall between them.

billy lets go of his wrists and takes a step back.

“let me out” he says, voice a little quieter now.

steve has his heart in his throat.

“billy...” steve says, stepping closer again. he tries to take his face between his hands again. and again, billy takes his wrists and remove it.

“let me go, steve” he says, dry.

“tell me you don't love me” steve asks him. “tell me you don't love me and i'll let you go.”

billy looks into his eyes for a long moment. steve is sure billy is not going to say that. that he's not going to be able to do it, despite all that happened.

steve presses a kiss to billy's forehead. he just feels right, in this moment.

billy doesn't move. he stares blankly at his face and says, “i don't love you” dry. cold.

steve feels like he can't breathe right now.

billy goes past him. steve doesn't need to look at him to know he's gone.

“it's not true” steve says, as he lets himself go.

***

AAAAAND THIS WAS PRETTY MUCH IT. I'm doing a little rant here cause I can't do it in the tags or this thing isn't gonna show up through the harringrove tags. I just wanted to say that the scene from Good Will Hunting is this last one with the argument, that I tried to adapt to billy's situation. of course there are things that don't make sense since this is not a real fic or anything, but just a plot very detailed lol but yeah, I hope you guys liked the idea and you know, if any of you ever want to use this as a prompt and write it properly.... feel free to do that, cause I'd be happy to read it. this is pretty messed up, but I still find it interesting?? idk. I'll stop talking. sorry for the angst hehe. if you have anything to add to this.... feel free to do that too iekfoekf

if you want to watch the scenes from the movie, click here

edit: I just wanted to say that obviously billy does love steve, he just doesn't know how to deal with that, because he's never been loved, because his mom left him and he's never let anybody in like he's done with steve. in case this wasn't clear.

[buzzdixonwriter]

Compare & Contrast: ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD Movie vs Novel

Once Upon A Time In Hollywood is my favorite Quentin Tarantino film, a love letter to late 1960s Los Angeles / Hollywood, an alternate history where the wicked (or at least three of them) are punished and the virtuous are spared and rewarded.

Tarantino has since expanded his basic story into a new novel, Once Upon A Time In Hollywood and it’s interesting to compare & contrast the two approaches to the material.

Movie tie-in novelizations are not unusual, of course, but it’s the rare example when the original creator (writer or director) takes a whack at it.  Ian Fleming famously turned an unsold screenplay, James Bond Of The Secret Service, (written with Kevin McClory, Jack Whittingham, Ivar Bryce, and Ernest Cuneo) into the novel Thunderball and a busted TV pilot, Commander Jamaica, into Dr. No, while Ed McBain (a.k.a. Evan Hunter ne Salvatore Albert Lombino) adapted a couple of original 87th Precinct movie scripts into novels.  

Here Tarantino takes his stab at it, and the results are…well, let’s cut to the chase…

Which is better, movie or book?

Good movie, okay novel.

For those who want a more detailed analysis…

[SPOILERS GALORE]

Story Structure

Once Upon A Time In Hollywood the novel is just barely a standalone story; it’s really enhanced by seeing the movie first.

The story flow is roughly the same, and it’s clear a lot of the material in the book are from early drafts of the screenplay (with a few callbacks to earlier Tarantino films).  There’s also a lot of material missing that was in the movie (the immediate aftermath of Cliff visiting George Spahn, f’r instance).

However, the main plot and many major scenes from the movie are described as almost asides, hints at things seen on screen that aren’t elaborated on in the movie.

In one sense, this works to the novel’s advantage; there’s little point in reiterating already familiar scenes.  On the other hand, scenes in the book that expand on scenes from the movie can benefit only by seeing the movie first.

While Once Upon A Time In Hollywood the movie features a pretty clear if typically erratic Tarantino timeline, the book’s timeline is less easy to track (but more on that later).

This isn’t a deal breaker in terms of enjoyment, but it occasionally does get in the way of the story telling.

Characters

What I liked most about Once Upon A Time In Hollywood the movie was that the Rick Dalton character is presented as a self-involved / over anxious / ot-nay oo-tay ight-bray actor who, despite his very apparent shortcomings, also demonstrates a truly professional dedication to his craft and an ability to listen and learn and grow.

Taking part in the big fight at the end cements his hero status in the framework of the movie.

He’s not nearly as likeable or as admirable in the book.

A big hunk of this is leaving out those crucial action beats mentioned above.  Another hunk is letting us peek too deeply into Rick’s head, and learning what happens to him after the climax of the film.

Instead of moving into the quality artsy A-list movie world as the film version intimates at the end, Rick becomes a John Wayne-like figure with similar intolerant attitudes, popular with middle American audiences.

He does come across as clear headed when it comes to his career and his place in the Hollywood pecking order, as demonstrated in his own analysis of why he would never have gotten Steve McQueen’s role in The Great Escape.

Sharon Tate is still the delightfully airy character shown in the movie, though Tarantino gives her a broader emotional palette to play with.  She comes across as more fully rounded than the movie version but is still the wonderful, life-loving character of the film.

Cliff Booth, on the other hand, suffers badly.

First off, Cliff’s character in the film is already extremely problematic.  The movie deliberately makes the circumstances around his wife’s death vague enough to be read in a variety of ways:  He could have deliberately murdered her and got away with it, it could have been justifiable homicide in self-defense, it could have been an accident, it could have been something else.

We never know and that works to give Cliff a Schrodinger’s cat-like characterization:  We can’t know until we open the box and look in.

Well, Tarantino flings open the box and boy, what’s inside is stupid.

I can absolutely believe Cliff killed his wife in a momentary fit of rage, I do not believe the speargun cut her in half and he held the two halves together so they could have a long lovey-dovey talk until the Coast Guard shows up and she literally falls apart.

If Tarantino’s intent was to hint Cliff had a psychotic fugue after he killed his wife and thought he was holding her together and talking to her, he didn’t make that clear.

Considering how often Tarantino employs the omniscient third person point of view in this story, I don’t think it’s a failure style but of plotting.

That would be bad enough, but there’s a lot of other problems with Cliff in the book.

He flat out murders four people by the time of the novel:  Two petty gangsters back east, his wife, and the guy who offered him a share of Brandy’s prize money from dog fights.

Yeah, Cliff is plugged into the dog fighting world and really enjoys it.  He shows enough affection and appreciation for Brandy the pit bull to recognize when her career is over, and he’s ruthless enough to kill Brandy’s co-owner when the guy insists on sending her to her almost certain death in one last dog fight.

[Sidebar: Elsewhere Tarantino has told aspiring writers to leave morality out of their character’s motives and despite this sounding counterintuitive, it’s actually solid advice.  Morality forces good guys to act like good guys, it never gives the characters room to think and breathe and act as real people.  Tarantino isn’t saying characters can’t make moral choices, but those moral choices must come from who they are, not from some arbitrary code or editorial fiat.  To this degree the novel Once Upon A Time In Hollywood depicts Cliff in a wholly believable light, a natural born survivor who will do whatever’s necessary to stay alive.]

Book Cliff is depicted as a far more unpleasant person than Rick, lightyears more unpleasant than movie Cliff.  Part of this is a deliberate choice on Tarantino’s part as his omniscient third person point of view frequently mediates on the meaning of likeability vs believability in movie terms; he certainly strives to makes Rick and Cliff as unlikeable as possible (Sharon, too, but she’s basically too sweet a character for any negativity to rub off on her).

Cliff also demonstrates a considerable amount of bigotry and prejudice, in particular his opinions on Bruce Lee.  The substance of those opinions re Lee’s martial arts abilities is not the problem, it’s the way in which they are expressed.

Does this sound believable coming from a near 50 year old WWII vet?  Yeah, it does.  That doesn’t mean the book benefits from it.

Which leads to the single biggest problem with Cliff, however, is his age and background.

Tarantino envisions him as a WWII vet, a survivor of the Sicily campaign reassigned to the Philippines (as with Inglorious Basterds, Tarantino really doesn’t care about what actually happened in WWII), taken prisoner by the Japanese, escaping to the jungles to lead a guerilla force against the Imperial Army, recipient of two “Medals of Valor” (who knows what Tarantino means by this as no such award exists in the US military.  Medal of Honor?  Distinguished Service Cross?  Silver Star?  Bronze Star?), and record holder for the most confirmed Japanese killed by a single individual who wasn’t a crew member of the Enola Gay.

Okay, so that makes him what, mid-20s at the youngest in 1945?  

He’d be 49 at the time of Once Upon A Time In Hollywood, not an unheard of age for Hollywood stunt men but certainly pushing the edge of the envelope.

Playing Rick’s double?  That sounds quite a bit more farfetched.  Rick’s exact age is never mentioned but from the way others treat him, he’s somewhere between Cliff’s age and that of James Stacy, the real life actor who starred in the Lancer pilot Rick is filming in 1968 when Stacy would be 32 years old.

That would make Rick roughly 40 at the time, and there’s an aside in the book that reveals one of Rick’s early roles was in 1959’s  Away All Boats, the latter with Tom Laughlin (who in real life later directed and starred in Billy Jack), and since Rick and Laughlin are presented as contemporaries and Laughlin was born in 1931, this would make Rick 28 when Bounty Law started airing that same year and he and Cliff, then age 40, first started working together.

Cliff saves Rick’s life from a stunt gone wrong early in the filming of Bounty Law, so one understands how their bond formed and why Rick continues to keep Cliff around even after Cliff kills his wife.

Missing from the novel is the voice of Randy Miller, the stunt director (played by Kurt Russell in the film) who narrates much of the movie.  I can’t recall if Randy is even mentioned by name in the book, but he certainly isn’t featured prominently in it.  Sometimes the narrative voice of the novel seems to be his, sometimes it seems to be Tarantino’s (and we’ll discuss that below, too).

Not all the characters in the movie make it to the pages of the book, and likewise quite a few characters appear who never showed up in the film version of Once Upon A Time In Hollywood or any other Tarantino film.

Sharon Tate first appears in the book hitchhiking and accepting a ride from rodeo cowboy Ace Woody, originally slated to be one of the assorted baddies in Django Unchained but later melded into another character.

On the other hand, many minor and obscure real life Hollywood players and personalities and hangers on do appear in the novel.  Tarantino is careful to put dialog in the mouths of only certifiably dead personalities, however, and as we’ll go into down below, that’s a wise move.

(BTW, Tarantino works himself into his own story a couple of times, mentioning himself as the director of a remake of John Sayles’ The Lady In Red featuring a grown up Trudi Fraser a.k.a. Mirabella Lancer in the Lancer pilot Rick is starring in, and as the son of piano player Curt Zastoupil, Tarantino’s real life step-father, who asks Rick for an autographed photo for his son Quentin.)

The Hollywood Stuff

Which leads us to the real hook of the book, a glimpse behind the scenes of Hollywood circa 1969.

If, like me, you’re fascinated by this sort of stuff, Once Upon A Time In Hollywood is a fun read.

Tarantino is a devourer of pop culture and dedicates his book in part to Bruce Dern, David Carradine, Burt Reynolds, Robert Blake, Michael parks, Robert Forester, and Kurt Russell, thanking them for the stories they told him about “old time” Hollywood (i.e., the 1950s and 60s from Tarantino’s reckoning).

A lot of the book rings true in attitudes and opinions expressed back in that era, and some of the stories included are jaw-dropping (the Aldo Ray one especially).

The examinations of various maneuverings and strategies in the entertainment industry are also illuminating.

However, this raises a fair question about what the intent of any given work is, and how well documented a work of fiction needs to be.

There’s a trio of actors (all dead so none can sue Tarantino for libel) labeled in derogatory terms as homosexuals in two or three places in the book.

There’s some observations on race that sound absolutely authentic coming from the mouths of those particular characters at that particular time, but one questions the need for using those exact terms today; it’s not that difficult to show the character speaking is bigoted without letting them sling all the slurs they want.

Speaking of terms, I’ve never heard “ringer” used before in the film industry in the context of this book, so if it’s fake, Tarantino did an absolutely convincing job presenting it as real.

But here’s where we start heading into some problematic areas, not problematic in undermining the enjoyment of the book, but problematic in the sense of understanding what Tarantino is trying to convey.

Cliff’s story is awfully close to Robert Blake’s story, and you’d be hard pressed to find many people in town today who don’t think he got away with murder.

And of all the TV show’s to pick for Rick to be playing the villain in the pilot episode, why Lancer?

Few people today remember the series, and Tarantino taking liberties with the actual pilot episode plot isn’t noteworthy…

…or is it?

The actual series starred Andrew Duggan as Murdoch Lancer, patriarch of the Lancer family, with Wayne Maunder played Scott Lancer, the upscale older son, and James Stacy as his half-brother, gunslinger Johnny Madrid Lancer. Elizabeth Baur played Teresa O'Brien, Murdoch Lancer's teenage ward. 

For Once Upon A Time In Hollywood, Tarantino replaced the real life Elizabeth Baur / Teresa O’Brien with “8 year old” Trudi Frazer (in the book; Fraser in the movie) / Mirabella Lancer (played in the film by 10 year old Julia Butters).

Why Lancer?  Why this particular change?

Lancer’s Johnny Madrid Lancer was played by James Stacy, a brief appearance in the film, but far more substantial scenes in the book (as well as the reader getting to see what he’s thinking and feeling).  Tarantino uses these scenes in the book to explain a bit about on set etiquette.

James Stacy was an actual person, and he actually played Johnny Madrid Lancer in the series.

In September of 1973, he was maimed in a motorcycle accident, losing his left arm and leg.

He refused to let his disability sideline him, and in 1975 appeared in Posse as a newspaper man, then went on to play numerous supporting roles in films and TV shows until 1995.

That was the year he was arrested, tried, and convicted of molesting an 11 year old girl.

He didn’t show up for his sentencing hearing, choosing instead to fly to Hawaii and attempt suicide.  Arrested and returned to California, instead of probation he received a 6 year prison sentence when it was learned he’d been arrested twice after the first crime on prowling charges in which he approached two other young girls.

Quentin Tarantino, the all time grand master maven of pop culture didn’t know this?

And in the book, Trudi calls Rick for a later night conversation about their day on the set.

This is an 8 year old child calling an adult after midnight.

To their credit, Tarantino and Rick both tell Trudi up front this is not an appropriate thing to do…

…but the call continues.

It doesn’t veer off into creepy territory, and when it ends it actually puts Rick’s character back on an upward trajectory, one in which he no longer feels he’s screwed up his life.

But still…

This is a really weird context.

(The scene was filmed for the movie but didn’t make the final cut.  Look closely on the movie poster under Brad Pitt’s chin and you’ll see an image of Julia Butters holding a teddy bear and talking on the phone.)

Style

Once Upon A Time In Hollywood the movie is consistent and spot on.  It uses cinematic language to maximum effect.

Once Upon A Time In Hollywood the book is all over the map.

It manages to stay entertaining even at its most erratic, but the inconsistency works against it.

As noted before, the point of view is constantly shifting, sometimes seen through a character’s eyes, sometimes through an omniscient third person point of view, sometimes in what appears to be uncredited narration from Randy, and in several chapters exploring the Lancer story-within-a-story as mediocre pulp fiction typical of movie and TV tie-ins of the era.

Tarantino does not stay consistent with his characters, either.  This indicates adapting scenes from earlier drafts without really smoothing out the fit.

Another point of view issue is Tarantino’s own.

Once Upon A Time In Hollywood the novel reads like the work of an older, very culturally conservative writer.

Many writers will argue that the evils their characters do in their books are not reflections on the author but simply the character acting consistently with who they are.

Kinda true…but that character comes from the writer’s imagination, and the writer needs to think up all those terrible things the character thinks and does and say, so somewhere deep down inside the dungeons of that writer’s mind…those things live and breed.

Rick is depicted as out of step with the new Hollywood and the hippie era in both film and book, but the book reinforces and rewards him for being out of step, unlike the movie whree he finds an entrance to the future.

Once Upon A Time In Hollywood the novel now makes me reexamine all of Tarantino’s earlier efforts, in particular Pulp Fiction and Django Unchained and The Hateful 8 and see if his world view has changed, or if its been there all the time only he concealed it better in the past.

Presentation

Once Upon A Time In Hollywood the book is packaged to look like a mass market paperback from the late 1960s to 1980s (in fact, very specifically 1980s style mass market paperbacks).

It even closes with ads for Oliver’s Story, Serpico, and The Switch, all bona fide movie tie-ins books, as well as Ride A Wild Bronc, a fictitious title, written by Marvin H. Albert.

Albert was a bona fide popular fiction writer under his own name and several pseudonyms, as well as screenplays based on his books for Duel At Diablo, Rough Night In Jericho, Lady In Cement, and The Don Is Dead.  Tony Rome, played by Frank Sinatra in two movies, is probably his best known character.  Several of the books he wrote were movie and TV tie-ins including The Pink Panther and The Untouchables.

The last ad is for the deluxe hardcover edition of Once Upon A Time In Hollywood, promising new material and previously unreleased photos.

The editing and copyediting of the book are subpar.  As noted above, tone and consistency fluctuate throughout the book.  A sharper editor would have removed redundancies, smoothed out clunky scenes.

Typographical errors abound throughout.  Early on they mention the Mannix TV show in italics (the book’s standard style for movie and TV show titles) then sloppily put the character’s name, Mannix, in italics as well and, to add further insult to injury, Mannix’ secretary Peggy also gets her name italicized.  Song titles are listed either in italics or unitalicized in quotes; pick a style and stick with it, guys…

Finally, Quentin baby, I gotta say ya missed a bet by not having a cardboard center insert ad for Red Apple cigarettes; that would have completely nailed the retro look.

  © Buzz Dixon

[abailey]

wandavision / mcu phase 4 speculation

going under the tag for potential spoilers, but now that we are a few episodes into wandavision - which is supposed to kick off phase 4 and impact a lot of the upcoming films - i wanted to give my prediction for what might happen

in wandavision we watch wanda have the life she wants, with the man she loves, her two children, and hopefully - if we’re lucky - a well kept secret of an uncle pietro return. i’m still optimistic for that due to plenty of actors/actresses saying they had nothing to do with a project/marvel studios only for them to actually be working with them (tatiana maslany as she hulk is the most recent example!). so the fact that ATJ hasn’t confirmed or said anything could just be marvel keeping a tight lid on things. we know they sometimes don’t even tell their actors what type of scene they are filming. i also don’t think evan peters pietro will replace him, because it just doesn’t make sense. that isn’t her brother. she wouldn’t recognize him or have an emotional connection to him, and vice versa. i think evan peters will play a different role. but that’s a whole other tangent i could spend too much time on because i have a lot of thoughts about it.

ANYWAY all to say, i think we are going to continue to see her building this life that she wants. i don’t know if she is in 100% control or if someone is doing this to her, but either way, i think the series will end with her losing it all. vision, her brother (if he’s there), and her boys. 

or so we think.

i believe the tie in to dr strange is going to involve wanda looking for them across the multiverse - either with his help or he needs to catch up with her to stop her from breaking a fragile reality. i hope it’s not a “she’s crazy now / wanda is a villain now” arc, just a woman who has lost everything over and over again and now - knowing the full extent of her powers - is determined to get it back.

this will lead to a billy kaplan / tommy shepherd reveal. it could even be cool if the wandavision end credits was a high school setting of one or both of them just living normal lives. i don’t think it’s too out of reason to follow the idea that her boys were reborn/reincarnated or just adopted in the 2000s following the break down of her little pocket reality, making them teens in the present. plus then we would get the kaplan family (aka the best family) and (fingers crossed, marvel) the canonicity of billy being jewish. 

we also know that america chavez is going to appear in dr. strange 2. i think this is pretty significant not only for the YA connection but also because america and billy in particular have a big connection in the comics. he - in the future as the demiurge - basically creates her homeworld/her people (if i recall). what if she can help find the twins? she can hop across realities, she has a connection to one of them, and in the comics she is also looking for billy. so maybe that will be how they all cross paths with each other.

my theory is that dr strange 2 will not only be about wanda searching for/finding her boys across the multiverse and the consequences of that, but we’ll also get the beginnings of billy being the next sorcerer supreme meant to take over after dr strange. it would make sense that that sort of reveal would be in a dr strange movie. so cue a mentorship type of deal between billy and stephen that we might see expand in future films, that mirrors the kate/hawkeye relationship (and hopefully others). which will make what my theory about what the 5th avengers movie will be more emotionally impactful.

so by then you hopefully have billy, tommy, and america together. i believe kate will have already been released in her show, and cassie already exists and we know has been recasted, and - if rumors are true - we could also have a teddy and an eli by then as well. nate is probably going to appear since we have a confirmed kang but who knows when that reveal will happen.

all this to say. i believe that mcu phase 4 is essentially going to have this through line between the shows/films about gathering and bringing together the young avengers. wandavision kicks it off. i think avengers 5 (which kevin feige i believe confirmed will eventually happen? probably in phase 5) will be a young avengers movie. centered on the nate richards/kang reveal and conflict that occurs between the team, future kang, and the other heroes that are trying to stop him. give me the conflict between the YA and the adult heroes over what is right in this scenario! especially the shift for these kids going from “these are my heroes and my idols” to “no you’re wrong and i’m going to fight you over it”. i would like to see it!

alternatively, a young avengers disney plus show is they are cowards over a canonically mostly lgbt superhero team taking the spotlight but let me dream.

like it makes sense narratively as well. we can assume that after endgame, the avengers have sort of disbanded. or at the very least aren’t a defined team. tony, steve, thor, and natasha are either dead or gone. the world of heroes is shifting and expanding, and how cool would it be for the next avengers team to be a bunch of kids who are doing it out of the belief that someone has to, and if the adults won’t figure it out, they will. 

[okaybutlikeimagine]

Excerpt from this fic that’s taking me 5 million years to write bc I’ve forgotten how to write Billy properly???  my fic More Than a Crush

desc: Steve’s parents want to meet Billy bc Steve won’t shut up about him so they tell Steve to bring him to the Country Club gathering, and Billy’s not too thrilled about having to wear Polo clothes.

(this is just a scene and it’s def still “under construction” but I need to post something or I’m gonna have a breakdown so! Here we are, dears.)

For my lovely friend @okayshitbird ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

------

Never in his life has Billy felt like this much of a dork.

Something about this feels like torture. Even though he knows he’s only surrounded by people who love him wholeheartedly, this still feels like a form of sadism. Billy thinks he might understand what those little toy poodles go through.

Because right now everyone is… cooing at him. Joyce has stood Billy in the hallway (where Jonathan said the lighting is probably best after she asked) and is currently attempting to work Jonathan’s camera to take pictures. Jonathan is right next to her, trying to show her the buttons to press and where to look when she wants to take a picture. Jim is standing behind them, deep chuckles clearly bubbling up in his chest and a smirk he can’t keep hidden smeared all over his face. Every now and then he makes eye contact with Billy and tries a little harder to keep his laughter down. Billy tries to find something to appreciate about it.

El is bouncing around in the back, giggling and pulling Will over to whisper to him. Will just shrugs, face red and laughter hidden in the corners of his smile. Billy knows he can’t get mad at them.

Jonathan though…

“Oh here, you just take it, honey.” Joyce concedes, handing the camera back over to her son with exasperation in her voice. Jonathan scrambles for the camera, hanging it around his neck before turning to Billy with a smirk on his face- a smirk that says: you’re never living this down. It’s in his raised eyebrow and all.

Billy’s gonna kill the boy.

“Say cheese.” Jonathan says with the smarmiest grin possible.

“I’ll kill you.” Billy says through gritted teeth, keeping his tone as sweet as possible. Jonathan laughs before taking the shot.

“Okay, okay, now I think we should get one over here! The wallpaper is nice over here.”

Jonathan is cackling now, mixing with the low rumbles of Hop’s laughter as they walk down the hallway. Will and El move out of the way, heading to the kitchen for something.

Billy’s teeth are still clenched tight.

“I’d really rather not.” Billy says with as little anger in his voice as he can muster.

“I know, I’m sorry, dear, just a few more pictures! It’s just, I have pictures of all the other kids all dressed up and you look so nice!” Joyce brings a hand up to replace a curl that’s slipped out of where Billy has attempted to grease them back. Everything she does is so maternal- it all has such a loving touch that it softens Billy instantly. “Just a couple more pictures? Is that okay, honey?”

It’s just them in the hallway now, the chatter of the other people in the house sounding distant enough that the irritation in Billy’s chest simmers down to just about nothing. It’s just him and this woman who somehow always makes him think about the good memories of his mother. Not even the tangible ones, but rather the fuzzy ones that crop up more as feelings than as pictures. It’s something he’s not sure he knows how to truly appreciate. It’s something he’s not sure he’ll ever get used to again. It’s warm. It makes this whole place seem a little more like home.

It also makes it a lot harder to say no.

Because there Joyce is, looking at him like he’s one of her children. Like he’s her son all dressed up for picture day. He’s not fully sure what to do with himself. Especially because she’s asking his permission. So few authority figures ever do that.

He sighs.

“Alright.” He says, giving her a tired smile when her eyes light up at his response.

He follows after her into the living room, exhausted just from existing in these stupid clothes, having to look at all of these stupid smiles laughing at him like he’s a clown. He feels like a clown.

They’d probably insist it’s out of love and care. He’d definitely beg to differ.

But he’s still standing there, chin tilted up and hands clasped behind his back, doing his best to puff his chest and broaden his shoulders to look as manly as possible… even though he’s dressed like a damn Easter egg.

“C’mon, son, give us a smile!” It’s Hop, humor dancing in his eyes. “Let us see those teeth!”

Billy’s teeth are still gritted, mirth and pain definitely visible in his eyes.

“I swear to God.” He mutters under his breath before allowing the corners of his mouth to tilt up into a smile.

“C’mon a little wider.” Jonathan says through a smirk.

“Just take the picture.” Billy says through his smile, followed by the click of the camera. 

Joyce fusses for a bit, moving over to the wall where all the kids have their pictures hung and trying to figure out the best place for Billy’s to go. Jonathan, still with that amused smirk on his face, wanders over to Billy.

“Hope you know how blackmail worthy these are.” Jonathan says with a glint in his eye. Billy makes sure to shoot daggers back.

“You better sleep with that camera under your pillow tonight, bud.” Billy says with sugar in his voice. He elbows Jonathan, who elbows him back, to which Billy responds with a harder hit.

The two are tussling about like a couple of kids before there’s a knock at the door.

Everyone stops at the sound, but when the bubble pops in the next second they’re all moving to answer it.

“I’ve got it!” Billy calls over the sound of them rushing to the door, taking long strides to push past them and get them away from the knob. “God, you’re a bunch of animals.” He chastises as he swings the door open.

On the other side of the door is Steve all dressed up in matching Easter colors. He’s looking down at his shoes, kicking a bit at the doorway in a nervous kind of gesture the second that Billy opens the door, and in the next he’s looking up with wide eyes.

He’s nervous why is he so nervous now I’m even more nervous oh God...

Billy squirms a bit where he stands.

Steve blinks hard. Billy doesn’t appreciate the silence, or the gathering of everyone behind his back that he can sense.

“Well? You got something to say, Bambi?” Billy’s foot is tapping incessantly. He can’t help it. He cracks all the knuckles on his left hand just by using his fingers. He’s nervous... and he swears he can feel everyone’s collective breath on his back.

Steve shakes himself out of his stupor.

“You look so good.” Steve nearly breathes it out. It kills Billy.

There are more than a few coos behind him, followed by a few amused chuckles. Billy’s face is currently burning red hot, but it’s not distracting enough to keep him from turning around and glaring at his family.

They’re all crowded together, doing their best to look at the scene in front of them without getting too close. They scatter.

Billy turns back to Steve, face still bright and hot. He absolutely hates the feeling, so much so that he can’t even think about wiping the scowl off his face.

“Yeah, whatever. You do too.” Billy feels sophomoric. Like a young girl who got asked to prom by a Senior guy. Like he’s waiting for his corsage or whatever. He feels so foolish

“Thanks.” Steve says, eyeing Billy up and down. “You slicked your hair back.”

Billy reaches up for it self-consciously. He feels that curl that fell out earlier and brushes it back.

“Yeah, what of it?”

“Why?” Steve asks, a little smile on his lips.

Billy’s not sure why he’s so irritated by the question, but he wants to believe the red on his face that he’s deeply sure is out of nervousness is actually red out of anger.

“I tried to look presentable. This is about impressing your parents, isn’t it?”

Billy’s trying not to snap, but it’s hard not to after being so strung up all week. It’s all he’s been able to think about is standing out in a field of flowers with a bunch of stuffy rich people.

Steve nods. His eyes turn softer, even though Billy’s close to barking.

A tiny shoulder is pressing into Billy’s arm then, shoving him out of the way with surprising strength.

“Hi Steve!” El says cheerfully, beaming her little smile up at the boy.

“Hi kiddo.” Steve says, smiling back just as bright. Billy shifts in place.

“Steve!” Joyce calls from inside the house. Steve and El turn to look at her, but Billy is staring at the stupidly nice shoes on his feet.

Nervous nervous way too nervous why am I so nervous please don’t ask him in...

“Won’t you come inside? I’ve got lemonade!”

Pictures she wants pictures don’t ask for pictures...

“I’d love to get a good picture of you both, too-”

Billy cuts in. He doesn’t feel too bad about it.

“We’re running late, already.” Billy says, loudly, to try to send a hint to this room full of people who can never seem to take one.

Billy still has his back facing the house, so he can’t see Joyce’s face. He figures it’s better this way, otherwise they’d be dragged into another photo session and Billy really cannot handle that right now. Not when his heart is trying to pack it’s bags and run away to the fucking city. He just looks up at Steve, shooting the boy his biggest, cry for help, ”please-have-my-back-here-babe” face that he can.

Steve takes the hint and gives a little nod.

“Yeah, we really are kind of late. My parents don’t like me being late to this stuff.” Steve shrugs. There’s more words on his tongue, Billy can see it. Steve kind of word-vomits when he starts talking about his parents and all the ways he seems to think he disappoints them. It makes Billy’s chest hurt more often than not. It ends in Billy kissing the guilt away more often than not.

“Of course, I don’t want you two being late!” There’s not a lot of disappointment in Joyce’s voice. Billy lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He leans himself against the doorway, facing the other side of the threshold’s frame.

“You can’t drive us?” El asks, looking up with puppy dog eyes that could pull at anyone’s heart.

“Nah, can’t today, kiddo. We have to be somewhere.” Steve says. It makes Billy think something so stupid he wouldn’t even admit it to himself.

Kids kids kids kids…

He pushes the thought away to briefly wonder why Jonathan can’t take them. Figures it’s something with Nancy. He’s not dressed yet and the kids seem antsy to be somewhere. He’s fine with his mind on that, on anything away from where he’s about to be headed.

“It’s okay, El, we can just take my bike.” Will says, suddenly showing up at the side of them.

The four of them push through the door, giving their respective goodbyes before Billy and Steve climb into Steve’s car and El crowds Will on the back of his bike. They make the bike look a little small, but they’ve done this before. It still makes Billy laugh a bit. Seeing the two giggle a little when Will loses his balance for a second lightens Billy’s heart.

“Ready to go?” Steve asks, like they didn’t rush out to the car to get going. Like they aren’t really late and like Steve didn’t really mean what he said about his parents, even though Billy knows he did.

Billy nods.

“Yeah, let’s just… do it.”

Steve nods for a little too long. He can’t get the keys in the ignition without fumbling a bit. They drive and Billy can’t even think about how much he dislikes the song currently playing.

He’s fidgeting still.

Nervous nervous so nervous why am I so nervous what the fuck is wrong with me-

“You nervous?” Steve asks around a bubble in his throat. He clears it with a cough after he speaks.

Billy snorts unattractively and pushes back his hair, even though the curl isn’t loose anymore. He reaches for the top of his button down, unbuttoning and rebuttoning because he needs to do something.

“No.” he lies through his teeth.

Steve gives a little sigh.

“Yeah, me too.”

It confuses Billy for a second.

“What?”

“I’m nervous, too.” Steve says, voice a little shaky. Billy doesn’t know what to say. He feels appreciation bubble up inside of him that he tries to mask with irritation.

“I’m no-” His voice catches and immediately he’s mad about it. “I’m not.”

It sounds so stupid now that it’s out in the air. He looks out the window, like it’ll help the heat blooming on his face. He unbuttons the second button too.

Then there’s a hand taking hold of his left one. Billy looks at it, watches Steve’s thumb rub at the skin between his index and thumb. He looks up at Steve, who’s still got his eyes on the road.

“Thanks for… agreeing. I know it’s shit. Trust me, I don’t want to be going here either. But… it means a lot. And no matter what, I’m still your boyfriend, alright? I don’t care what anyone thinks.”

Billy’s eyes prick with tears. He’s not even sure why they’re there, but he blames it on how high strung he’s been all week. How pulled taut he’s felt since Steve brought this whole thing up. He’s just boiling over, that’s all.

Steve looks over at him, eyes getting soft and worry resting in his brow.

“Billy?”

“Just drive, you idiot.” Billy mumbles, turning back to the window while grabbing firm hold of Steve’s hand.

[the-citrus-scale]

The Objectification of Billy Hargrove

Ever since the debut of Billy Hargrove’s epic lifeguard catwalk in season three of Stranger Things (which I totally didn’t watch again to write this article, even for science!), there’s been some debate in the fandom about whether or not this character was inappropriately objectified throughout his run on the show. While we understand the sentiment, we disagree in this case. And here’s why.

First, let’s take a look at the fandom’s biggest arguments on the subject. Certainly, almost every Billy moment from the series involves his body in some significant way. There’s a lot of focus on how he looks, and he’s on display often, which naturally leads to the idea of objectification. Also, most comments made by other characters about Billy are about his body, and, if no one’s talking about it, they’re definitely looking at it. The reason fandom is protesting is also significant, in this case. For one, they are understandably tired of seeing characters who are objectified simply for the sake of being objectified, male or female, because that adds nothing to a narrative. Add in that Billy is also a younger character and it's easy to see why people are upset. He’s eighteen in the third season of Stranger Things, but might have been seventeen in the second season. Though either age is technically legal in Indiana, and eighteen is legal in the United States overall, this is a gray area for a lot of people. Either way, Billy is definitely a teenager, and some are not okay with teenagers being objectified, whether they’re legal or not. The biggest (and loudest) issue, though, seems to be that most of the people we see objectifying Billy in Stranger Things are middle-aged women, which gives a predator/prey vibe to a lot of those interactions.

So, you may wonder how, based on all of that, we could possibly disagree with the idea of Billy being objectified in Stranger Things. Well, the answer is quite simple. We disagree that Billy is being objectified because of the characterization and, more importantly, the purpose behind all of these elements in the narrative.

The key point is that Billy Hargrove wants to be objectified. It’s part of his character. Everything he does screams that he wants to be noticed, and everything he says is designed to establish his dominance and make whoever is around him uncomfortable. He wants men to be jealous that they’re not him, and he wants women to swoon because of him. And his primary way of getting the kind of attention he craves is by putting his body on display. Think about it. He drives a flashy car. He dresses so that people will look. He didn’t accidentally put on the tight jeans and the muscle shirt in the morning. He didn’t forget his shirt when he went to basketball practice. He didn’t trip and get his mullet permed before he got his job at the pool. Just look at all the trouble he goes to in the season two scene where he’s getting ready for a date that really doesn’t seem to matter that much to him. And when he does that lifeguard walk, he knows that every woman is looking at him. He enjoys it, because that’s what he wants.

Billy is also physically imposing and demonstrates it frequently. He wants to be seen as better than everyone else and will go to any lengths to prove it. He steals Steve’s Keg King title, wearing only his leather jacket, of course, at Tina’s party. He shows off his superior basketball skills, again making sure he’s shirtless so that people will look. He mentions his sexual prowess when he’s in the shower in the men’s locker room. At home, he lifts weights to maintain his physique. He gets into his epic fight with Steve at the end of season two, showing that he’s not afraid to be violent if it gets him what he wants.

And if he can’t intimidate someone physically, he does it with words. In particular, he flirts with Mrs. Wheeler because it makes him feel powerful. Although she clearly enjoys it to a certain degree, she’s also uncomfortable. During the pool scene in season three alone, Billy pushes and pushes until she agrees to meet him. Mrs. Wheeler tries to refuse several times, but he just won’t take no for an answer. There’s definitely something predatory going on, but Mrs. Wheeler isn’t the predator. The predator is Billy. She��s the prey. He’s completely in control of that situation. His age makes it confusing for the audience, but that doesn't negate Billy's purpose in the prose. He is the villain. The end.

Basically, all of this characterization serves a purpose. Billy needs to be an immediate presence when he arrives in Hawkins to stand out against all of the crazy stuff that’s already happened there, for one. He’s the human villain of the series, especially during the second season. If he wasn’t brash and bold and strutting around like a peacock sticking his nose in everybody’s business, he wouldn’t be able to fulfill that role. He would just be another kid at Hawkins High who didn’t really have anything to do with anything.

More importantly, all of Billy’s behavior in season two sets us up to recognize how abnormal his behavior is in season three after he’s possessed by the Mind Flayer. The kids even make a comment about how unusual it is to see him with his shirt on in the show. It’s how they start to realize that something is wrong with Billy. If Billy hadn’t been strutting his stuff before season three, the differences would have been far too subtle to notice, especially because the kids don’t spend a lot of time around Billy. It even took them a while to realize that Will was possessed in season two, and he was someone they were around literally all the time. If the kids couldn’t have guessed that Billy was the vessel of the Mind Flayer, the plot wouldn’t have been able to progress the way it did. It was essential that Billy be who he is for the story to happen the way it was meant to.

But listen, we’re not in favor of objectifying characters just for the sake of objectification, and  just because you enjoy looking at a character doesn’t automatically mean that they’ve been objectified. Yes, a lot of the Stranger Things fandom is thirsty for Billy Hargrove, but not because anyone writing Stranger Things intended it that way. In Billy’s case, they wrote a character who had certain traits that he needed to have for the story he was in, and people happened to be attracted to him after the fact. We’re not saying that some of the themes present in his arc aren’t uncomfortable, but he’s not being objectified, and that’s that.

[kenzie-ann27]

My Obnoxiously Long Analysis of Danny Torrance and Richie Tozier

I have thought about this particular analysis for a while, and this has been a really fun thing to write, but at the same time, I feel like I am missing a large part of the story because I am struggling to figure out why? I know these characters are connected in some way, that part is obvious, but I am unsure of the significance. Why are these two characters so similar yet so different? This isn’t a case of the Stephen King self-insert where every male lead is an author but grew up in a weird place and lost a family member that causes him great distress even in his adult life (looking at you, Bill Denbrough and Gordie LaChance). The case of these two characters is different, as their personalities and lives are so different as to not have them be carbon-copies of each other, but at the same time they share so many traits and they have this connection that is interesting to me (though not as interesting anymore, thank you so much, Mike Flanagan).

First, I will talk about the gifs, since I think that’s probably the best place to begin. That quote by Dick Hallorann is so, so interesting to me because it directly relates back to It. Towards the end of the book, Richie recalls a very distinct moment when Bill killed a mosquito that was on the back of Richie’s neck, and he talks a bit about it and how bugs were often drawn to them (though he uses pheromones as an example). Leeches are also mentioned quite descriptively in It as well, them being Patrick Hockstetter’s fear and what kills him in the book. The other gifs are mainly a visual comparison, as I think that the way those two moments were carried out was pretty interesting. I was going to make another visual comparison with the weird cloudy eye effect that both films utilize very well, but that part in It: Chapter Two with Richie does make me pretty uncomfortable. In both movies, essentially, characters’ eyes get clouded over when they get into someone else’s head: Danny Torrance does this to Rose the Hat, while It does it to Richie.

To start off, both Richie and Danny grew up as only children in a family where they had close relationships with their parents despite them having a hard time understanding their children. They both felt closer to their mothers, as their fathers were often busy with work; both Maggie and Wendy seemed to ensure that Richie and Danny grew up with strong moral values, and both of the children were affected greatly when their mothers died. As children, they are forced into an environment where they deal with a supernatural evil, though they are not in any real danger unlike other characters until the end of the story (when Jack chases Danny and when Richie and the other Losers fight It for the first time); all other times, they mainly see things that make them aware of the danger that is present. Notice that with Richie, unlike the other Losers, is not physically affected by It really at any point. This is very different from how It works with the others because that danger is still there even after the event has passed. The blood in Beverly’s bathroom is still there even after she leaves and goes back. But with Richie, in the park, he is able to make the danger go away, he puts those glasses back on and everything goes back to normal (the others physically run away from the danger, but Richie is psychologically running away from it by telling himself it isn’t real). Anyway, this event stays with them long after they’ve grown up and moved far away from the place where the trauma occurred: Richie moved from Maine to California (Chicago in the film) while Danny moved from Colorado to Florida (later to New Hampshire). They then, turn to drugs and/or alcohol, which is said in Doctor Sleep to sort of repress the ability to shine and keep those negative past memories at bay; Richie seems to lean more towards drugs than alcohol, and vice versa for Danny. When they are 40, they are drawn back to the place where they were mainly abused as children and are able to use their abilities to destroy the evil thing finally before returning back home to their pets and their co-workers that they have weirdly close relationships with and all is good. That's essentially their main stories, but I'm also going to talk about a few specific connections that I think are cool to see.

Both Danny and Richie use their hands as the main source of their shining abilities. This is not obvious with Richie in the movie, but it is for Danny with him and Tony. However! In the book, Richie's main goal in life as a child is to become- of all things- a ventriloquist. You know, a person that uses their hands a lot like how Danny does to make it look like Tony is more than just a voice. Speaking of voices, that's Richie's main thing. Who is to say all those voices aren't like Tony in that they're a personification of the shining? (more on this below) This is also a connection between the two because neither of them is particularly good at doing voices, they essentially still just sound like themselves; this doesn't mean that those voices don't represent other people, though, even if they do come out of Danny's and Richie's mouths. The whole hands thing also works for the other members of the Losers Club, with each of the Losers relying on their hands for their jobs, just like Danny, who, in Doctor Sleep, is mentioned as being a janitor before becoming an orderly at a hospice (I would classify him more as an unregistered nurse, as he does say he’s had medical training). Hands and arms in general play huge roles in these two stories, which I think sort of puts the nail in the coffin of this argument. As a child, Danny Torrance gets his arm broken by his father, which is the moment when he starts talking to his imaginary friend/personification of the shining, Tony. While nothing huge happens to Richie’s arms in the book or movie, I would go as far to say (I am aware this goes off-topic, but bear with me here) that in the hierarchy of who shines the brightest of the Losers, Eddie is up there since not only does he get his arm broken twice in the book, it’s also what causes him to die because he gets his good arm bitten off and he bleeds to death. Eddie in his final moments is so strange to me, and I think the reason why that is is that he physically cannot shine. His only arm left is broken. Of course, It would want to take that away from him because it’s aware that Eddie has the ability to kill it.

Both Danny and Richie rely on the guidance of an old (dead) friend to keep them on the correct path. For Danny, this is Dick Hallorann, as he appears in Doctor Sleep to guide Danny to return back to the hotel. For Richie, this is Stanley, as a memory of Stan keeps Richie from going back home.

Both Danny and Richie are able to form a connection with the dead/dying. For Richie, he's mostly connected to those who have already died, while Danny seems to help more with people who are dying. I mostly noticed this in It after realizing the voices of people (rather than original characters) Richie seems to do more often- Humphrey Bogart, James Dean, and Pancho Vanilla (based on Pancho Villa, the Mexican general)- are all people who have died before 1958. I like to imagine that this is just Richie flexing with his shining ability and him being able to form those connections with those people by taking their voices and making them his own. Notice that in the book, “voices” is usually capitalized, as if it represents something a lot more important than just a kid doing an impression.

Both Danny and Richie have confusing relationships with others, specifically their bosses. This is more a personal thing rather than a fact, but I have realized that these characters do have rather strange relationships with others. With Danny, he meets Billy after taking a bus to New Hampshire, and Billy gives him a job and a place to stay. They become fast friends, though I mainly attribute this to their shared ability to shine (yes, of course, I’m going to mention that Danny often sings along to YMCA while working). Danny eventually tells Billy about what’s going on with the missing kids, and Billy is just unusually calm with the situation and agrees to go with him to Idaho to find Bradley’s glove. With Richie, however, I would say the strange coworker comes in the form of Steve, who is his manager in both the book and the movie. Obviously, if you have never been to my blog before, I really like Steve. He’s a fun character to look at not only because of the way he interacts with Richie but because I am willing to bet that that’s who Richie ends up with (at least, in the movie, since that was the plan in the 2010 script). Like Danny with Billy, Richie wants to tell Steve about the crazy stuff that’s happening, if he remembered what happened at all. I know this isn’t really a good explanation for the comparison between Danny and Richie, but I feel like their relationships with Billy and Steve are just really interesting and something that stuck out to me in the books and the movies.

Of course, now, I feel like I need to justify all of this. I need to come up with some reason why these two characters are connected and why I felt the need to write all of this garbage. And for the longest time, I didn’t know why. I didn’t know why these two characters stick out so much in this universe.

And then I rewatched It: Chapter Two.

Richie sticks out the most in that movie because of the way he acts is so different from the others. He feels distant, almost. From the minute I see him on screen I am able to look at him and say “that’s Richie”, but at the same time he feels so different to me, as someone who has looked at this character for a long time to try and dissect him. In his opening scene, for one, unlike all of the others, Richie gets a moment on stage where he stares out blankly and he hears these voices, memories from his past (I don’t remember the exact things they said, but essentially they were the voices of himself, Stanley, Eddie, and Henry). That sticks out to me so much because he is the only character that that happens to, even after he drank a glass of bourbon like a minute beforehand (of course, this also can sort of be explained as the shining is dulled by alcohol, not always taken away completely). To be honest, all of the Losers tend to turn to alcohol when faced with stressful memories throughout the movie. But it wasn’t until later that I realized that Richie was seen differently by the Losers. In the Neibolt House, I feel like the Losers tend to somewhat overreact when it comes to Richie after being attacked by the spider-Stanley (like… when Eddie broke his arm, most of them were focused more on Pennywise rather than helping Eddie). And later after Eddie got stabbed, he looks to Richie as if Richie is going to help him.

This goes back to my hierarchy statement before, but essentially, what I’m getting at is that Richie shines the most. Like… Danny Torrance levels of shine. That’s why they are connected. It’s shown in Doctor Sleep that those who shine the most tend to connect to each other, so who’s to say that Danny didn’t know about Richie? In my hierarchy, by the way, I would say that the order of who shines the most would be: Richie, Stanley, Eddie, Beverly, Bill, Mike, and then Ben. Of course, this would bring up the issue of “if Richie shined the most, then why didn’t the Turtle talk to him instead of Bill?”, and that can just simply be put down to the fact that Bill is the leader. That came to be not because of his shining, but rather simply because of the way he looked; the other Losers (I believe it was either Eddie or Richie) mention that they look up to Bill, mainly because he is taller and stronger and more handsome. Why would the Turtle go to Richie for help with this when Richie has been running away from himself his whole life? Bill was the logical reason because he could lead them in a way that Richie never did.

Overall, I feel like both Richie and Danny have these super similar qualities that are hard to ignore. I love both of these characters, so writing this long piece of garbage was a lot of fun. It was also fun to rewatch these movies and see that there is just this big connection that is there for fans of the books, so I am dying to see where it goes. It feels like they are waiting for The Dark Tower to bring them together with the mentions of the Turtle and Ka and space and all of that, but I feel like a whole new story would be really interesting as well. Plus, you know, I am dying to see a teenaged Abra trying to explain to shining to Richie.

[lesbianlovelanguage]

Lost Boys of Starwood ch. 2

Fandom: Stranger Things Paring: Harringrove Chapter 2/10 Rating: T Co-written by myself and the amazing @catharrington Read it down below, or on ao3! ❤️❤️❤️ You can also find chapter 1 here, if you haven’t read it yet :)

Summary: West Hollywood California was a lighthouse on the beach for Steve Harrington moving down from nowhere Indiana. But for billy Hargrove it was a cage with golden bars kept locked by his father good and tight. They both found safety inside the darkness and splendor of Starwood, but will they be able to see the only way they can be truly found is through each other?

Since that first night, Billy had become a regular at Starwood. Steve would never admit that he looks forward to the nights where he spotted the curly blond hair amongst the crowd of sweaty bodies, but he couldn’t deny that his heart beat a little faster, and he couldn’t stop the tiny smile that appeared on his face. Not many people would notice the slight changes, but Robin, Starwood’s other bartender, immediately put it together, and started teasing Steve mercilessly.

Billy would start each night greeting Steve and flirting openly like “You on the menu tonight, Bambi?” Or “What’s ladies night special, cocktail?” Or “Let me kiss you, pretty boy?”

That was the fourth day he had come in, the fourth time Robin and Steve even knew of Billy's existence, and the first time Robin saw Steve’s eyes go that wide. He really did resemble Bambi, she admired.

That night Billy was leaning over on the bar, light denim jacket open to a clean white shirt, and bent over just so that his ass was in full display. Thankfully, Steve thought, he couldn’t see that ass from where he was standing behind the counter rubbing down a glass and trying not to blush.

“Come on, babe, I see the way you look when I’m out there having some fun,” Billy’s eyes were blue and narrowed as he licked that wicked tongue across his lips. “All pretty and jealous at that bachelorette party last night. They got really handsy when they got wasted.” And as if to jog Steve’s memory Billy let his jacket down one shoulder, revealing his cut off sleeve and the swell of his golden bicep.

Steve swallowed. He definitely remembered the bachelorette party. He had been swamped and stuck at the bar, but even the throng of people couldn’t mask the golden curls or deliciously tan skin Steve had caught glimpses of. Billy had removed his trademark jacket, leaving him in a tight a-line tank top. His skin shined with sweat, toned muscles on display for well manicured womanly hands to get their feel. It had been utterly unfair, and Steve had messed up at least one drink that night.

“Want me to act like a handsy middle aged woman?” Steve set the glass back into the tray across the bar before he flicked his eyes to Billy. He let his tongue dart out as he considered how fun that sounded. Getting his hands around those golden muscles, squeezing, the itch made Steve trail his fingers down the bar closer towards Billy’s own.

Billy kept rock solid, his grin dangerously wide. “Nah, not your style, Bambi. I think you seem the type to scratch in the sack.”

And god, that sent shivers up Steve’s spine. He stopped his fingers an inch from Billy’s forearm as it leaned against the wood of his bar. His bar, Steve tried to remind himself, as he pulled his hand back. Tried not to think about the way his nails scratched the old wood as they went.

“Want me to make you the best Sex on a Beach you’ve ever had?” He asked.

Billy was disappointed, but not enough to let up. “I don’t know, I’ve had a lot of sex on the beach. You really want to compete?”

Steve’s smile was bright and his voice was loud to match the music playing. “It’s not even a competition, stud.” Then he turned to mix up the drink and kept the second long flash of Billy delight at his comment filed away for later.

There was a little wolf whistle from next to Billy, an older man who winked knowingly, but most of the patrons were regulars who knew the cat and mouse game.

Billy tried to keep his smile and his heart under control as he watched Steve’s practiced ease of drink mixing. Just as he finished and turned around to slip the fruity monstrosity onto a napkin for Billy, there was a slight change in atmosphere at the bar. Another man slid up beside Billy, his shoulders hunched and pale face turned downwards. Billy felt his body prepare for a fight as a defensive measure to the strangeness, but there was something morose about him and not so much threatening, so Billy kept himself in check.

“Hey,” Steve greeted the man, leaning closer with two hands on the bar counter, looking attentive, “Barry, right? Haven’t seen you in a second. Wanna order?”

The man, Barry was his name Billy supposed, smiled something that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “No, I’m not here to drink. I just want to talk.” Billy had his lips around his straw and was listening intently. “It’s about me… uh, I’m having some,” Barry tried to continue but the words were slow. He sounded like he was pushing them out. “Some tests done. Just wanted to let you know in case anyone was… scared.”

Steve seemed to instantly get what Barry was trying to say. He reached out a hand and cupped his fingers over Barry’s pale wrist. “Thank you for letting us know.” He squeezed. Barry just looked down at that hand like it was the only thing holding him to the earth.

Robin was hovering around Steve’s shoulder, her eyes wide and concerned, but her jaw set hard. She was mulling over what to say to Barry when she was interrupted by a short intake of breath.

“That takes some guts man, you must be really brave.” Billy’s voice for once wasn’t laced in humor. It was serious as he ducked his head into Barry’s space to talk above the music. “Remember to stay strong, listen to those damn doctors, and know you’ve got people here thinking about you. This shit isn’t easy.” Then his hand curled in a comforting way around Barry’s thin shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze, before dropping back down to his drink.

Steve couldn’t stop the way his heart swelled in his chest this time.

“Thanks a lot,” Barry choked out, “really you guys this means a lot. I’m… well, I’ve got someone waiting for me at home. I just wanted to let you know. Thanks again.” Then he turned and left as quietly as he came in.

Robin was dumbstruck looking over Steve’s shoulder. Billy just continued sipping his drink and eyefucking her friend. She looked to Steve to see what his reaction to the whole scene had been, but he was just about as dumbstruck as she had been. He just… stared at Billy.

She sighed and decided to cut him some slack this time. She looked around and then patted Steve on the shoulder.

“Hey Stevie,” she hollered over the music, “There's a group over there that would probably love a cocktail from The Strip’s Best Bartender. Go on.” She pushed him down the bar to the other end, where a group of skater chics were lounging on the bar. He stumbled, but managed to right himself and take the girls’ orders and quickly began whipping up some intense looking drinks.

Once he was settled, Robin turned back to where Billy sat. The eyefucking was gone, replaced again by a more somber expression. “What’s up Blondie? You gonna tell me to beat it?” He muttered around his straw.

“What the fuck? No, dingus. I was gonna say I really appreciated what you said back there. Barry’s always been a big part of the bar, but since he’s gotten sick, it’s been really hard on the guy. You’re pretty chill, Bill.”

His expression melted into his standard joking face, and just like that, Robin and Billy became partners in crime, mercilessly teasing Steve everytime Billy came to visit or gossiping about people together.

It was one of those times that the truth came out. Billy and Robin had been gabbing about girls, when Billy let slip, “yeah, the high school girls are all cows, I swear.”

Robin's eyes widened and her mouth formed a little o shape. “High school girls?” She repeated the words back to him with fluttering eyelashes.

The smile melted off Billy’s face just a little. He hadn’t meant to let that slip, but he wasn’t about to try and hide anything from such a welcoming group of people.

“Uh, yeah Blondie. High school girls. That’s what I said.”

“As in, girls you are in high school with?”

“Unfortunately.”

Robin blinked owlishly a few more times, then shrugged. “Okay, well. I’m not your mom, so I can’t really tell you what to do. I am going to say that you have to tell him .” She said, pointing over at Bambi. Billy swallowed heavily, his mouth suddenly feeling too dry.

“Now?” He didn’t want to hide his age, but damn if he wasn’t scared of Bambi’s reaction.

“Yeah dingus. Now.”

Grabbing his drink in his fist, Billy gulped the rest of it down hard. This would be a great time for some liquid courage to kick in. He chanced a look down the bar to see Steve’s eyes flick downwards and a blush coloring his pretty cheeks. The alcohol was warm on it’s way down, and Billy used his empty glass as an excuse as he stood up and swaggered his way towards Bambi.

He set down his glass loud against the old wood bar, and smiled at him, hoping it came across as charming rather than scared shitless, which he was currently feeling.

“You like my drinks that much Billy?” Steve chuckled.

“Hell yeah, Pretty Boy. You know you’re the best bartender on the strip.”

Steve just rolled his eyes, he hears that a lot goes without saying, but there is still a slight turn up of his pretty lips. This time Steve puts aside Billy’s empty glass and trades it for a long beer pint. “Let’s take it a little easier, you’ve already had a couple. Don’t want you doing anything stupid tonight.” Steve’s fingers linger across the now cold glass as he places the beer on the wood.

The bartender's eyebrow quirked as he thought of something, then turned to a small cutting board just a reach away. With a soft cut and a softer push on the rim of the glass, Steve presented a little orange slice for Billy’s edge. His eyes were sparkling with so much pride and humor, it made the lights from the stage look cheap.

Billy really couldn’t get enough of looking into those eyes.

“I’m 17,” he blurted out. If he wasn’t going to say it now then it would never come out, Billy knew that. He wasn’t good with words, or knowing what the right thing to do was. But he was good with flirting, so he curled his mouth into a particularly wolfish grin.

Steve’s eyes were cartoon wide. “Come again?” His lips pursed.

“Don’t wanna keep anything from you, Bambi, now that we are getting all nuzzled up.” Billy dips his head to take a small drink of his beer. Never takes his eyes off Steve’s shocked face.

“Woah, okay, woah!” The cloth he was using to wipe down glasses snapped as Steve whipped it across his shoulder. He pointed an angry look at Billy, who was still sheepishly trying to hide behind the rim of his beer.

“17?”

“Yeah, babe.”

“You can’t be here!” That made Billy’s heart drop. After coming and worshiping at this bar so religiously, basically kneeling at Bambi’s pretty feet, that’s the sentence he gets.

Trying to push down the stabbing betrayal in his gut, Billy opens his mouth to reply, but he finds he can’t, as a hard hand clasped over his shoulder.

Looking up he sees the bouncer from the first day he stumbled into Starwood, a burly tattooed man named Tony, who Billy had grown to know just like Robin. The anger on his brow was all part of the job. In reality, Tony was a big soft man who would rather hug someone than punch them, and Billy had found himself at the receiving end of more than one of those hugs. It earned him the play from his nickname: Tony the Tiger, to something more Billy-flavored: Tony the Kitten, just a big ball of tattooed fluff.

“What’s going on here you two? Lover’s spat?” Tony teased. Billy and Steve both turned bright red at the insinuation, but while Billy remained silent and glared at his beer, Steve began to sputter cute noises until finally reaching, “He’s fucking 17, Tony! How was he let in here in the first place?”

Tony narrowed his eyes and stared at Steve, eyebrows furrowed in deep thought.

“Why do you care so much, Harrington? It’s not a big deal.” He asked, voice slow and deep.

“Yes! It is Tony! He shouldn’t be in a place like this.” Steve waved his hand around guestiring towards the stage and light covered bodies hot from dancing. “He should be doing homework… or studying like a good student!”

That caught Billy’s attention finally. “Excuse me, Bambi? I am a straight ‘A’ student for your information.”

Steve’s face was pulled tight, like he was sucking on sour candy. His look wasn't attractive, but it was cute, in a spoiled cat sort of way. “It doesn’t matter, Billy. You’re still too young to be in a bar like this!”

Robin sauntered over as Steve’s voice rose in octave. “Dingus!” She clapped Steve over the back of his head, sending fluffy brown hair bouncing into the air. “What’s the big deal? So he’s 17. Being here isn’t affecting his grades or anything. Let the kid stay.”

Tony nodded along, crossing his inked arms across his broad chest. “I agree. If you really want to kick the kid out, you’re gonna have to do it yourself. I ain’t doing it.”

Steve looked between Robin and Tony a couple times, cheeks a heavy dusting of rose red as he flustered about, before finally settling on Billy. He grabbed the towel off his shoulder and pointed with it balled tight in his hand.  

“Fine. Stay. I’m not serving you alcohol anymore though.”

“But Cocktail! Who else will make such great Blowjobs?” Billy grinned, finally gaining some of his confidence back since Steve wasn’t fighting on him staying anymore.

Steve blushed an even brighter red, and shook his head. He stormed away from Billy and the rest of the bar staff to the other side of the bar, then started wiping down the counter furiously.

“Don’t worry Billy-Boy. I’ll still serve you, no matter what tight ass says.” Robin said with a wink.

Billy wasn’t worried, per say. He was relieved he wasn’t thrown out on his ass, of course, but he wished he hadn’t said his age at all. If lying meant that his Bambi wouldn’t turn and run away from him, maybe Billy should have kept lying.

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[babygirlizz]

Movies and TV shows of 2019

Okay so a couple or few years ago I did a review of movies that had released that year because I was super into movies that year. I am still into movies, but I have been watching a lot more shows this year. So, I will be reviewing movies and tv shows. Furthermore, I will be including stuff released this year, that I found this year, or that has a new season this year. Basically just anything that I have loved this year. Also, I don’t feel like ranking, so no particular order. Also, SPOILERS AHEAD - if you see a title of something you have not seen, and don’t want spoilers, please feel free to skip that section. Also, some of these I haven’t seen in a hot minute so if I get a detail messed up, we won’t speak on it. And finally, trigger warning - if you have struggled with sexual assault and may have an issue reading about it, either skip this post entirely or skip over the review of “Unbelievable.”

MOVIES -

1. After

I have been waiting for this since middle school. I read the after books on wattpad because what teenager in love with harry styles didn’t. Now I will be real with y'all. The acting could use some work in specific scenes, and some of the actors aren't MY favorite picks for certain roles, but I’m not gonna hate on actors. Ok so, Tessa (Josephine Langford) is an incoming freshman in college and is rooming with an upperclassmen, Steph (Khadijha Red Thunder) who has a friend named Hardin (Hero Fiennes-Tiffin). Steph wants Tessa to branch out and do new things, so she invites her to a party, where they play the stereotypical games, and thats when Hardin is kind of dared to make Tessa fall in love with him. ALSO, Tessa has a high school boyfriend named Noah (Dylan Arnold). She starts seeing Hardin, her boyfriend finds out, she falls in love with Hardin, and finds out it was all a dare. Buuuuuuut, pLoT tWiSt he actually loves her.

2. Avengers: Endgame

Ok listen, Infinity War was heartbreaking bc Bucky duh, but y'all are really gonna take Tony (RDJ) and Steve (Chris Evans) away from me? Shut up. Still, this was a really good movie and I’m not just saying that because I’m a marvel hoe. FRICK Thanos and thats on Ant Man. Thats literally all I have to say.

3. Annabelle Comes Home

I am a whore for scary movies. I love them so much and this one was *chefs kiss*. I love Mckenna Grace, she's such a good young actress and she fits so well in scary moves. There’s not much to say about the plot in this one, and ya really need to see it. Also, Bob (Michael Cimino) is so heckin cute what the heck.

4. Let It Snow

Ok this is a lot to unpack so grab ya snacks. Let’s talk about couple number 1 (of 3), Tobin (Mitchell Hope) and Angie (Kiernan Shipka) who are best friends. Tobin is in love with Angie but doesn’t know how to tell her, and gets lots of unwanted encouragement from his best friend Keon (Jacob Batalon) who just wants to throw a heckin good party, is that too much to ask for? So Angie gets invited to a party by some cute guy, JP (M and Tobin is jealous but goes with her anyways and they steal a keg for Keon’s party and run from the scary hosts of the party and end up stranded in a church after his car spins out of control. They finally make it to the party and kiss on the roof with the waffle town sign shining bright behind them. NEXT - we have Julie (Isabela Merced) and Stuart (Shameik Moore). This is kind of really cliche with the whole “he’s-famous-she-doesn’t-care-he-finds-that-attractive-lets-fall-in-love” aspect, but its also hella cute uwu. They meet on a train and the train stops so they go eat at the waffle town and go sledding and do a bunch of cute coupley shit. His manager comes to get him and basically tells her that nothing will ever really happen between them and he leaves. Then, he shows up at the party and they fall in love. NEXT- we have Dorrie (Liv Hewson) who is a lesbian that constantly struggles with the gay panic. Her best friend Addie (Odeya Rush) doesn't help much either because she's having her own relationship problems. Dorrie works at Waffle Town and when she's working the girl she's talking to, Kerry (Anna Akana) comes in with her dance team, and she's not out of the closet. A bunch of shit goes down, but they end up together and Dorrie learns that she’s worth more than she thinks and that’s all that matters. Also, Billy (Miles Robbins) and Tin Foil Woman (Joan Cusack) make wonderful additions to this movie.

5. The King

First of all - Timothée Chalamet and Robert Pattinson in the same movie? Sign me the HECK up. But they’re also historical, frick yea. Not too much to say about this movie other than it’s good. Super graphic (don’t watch if you don’t like decapitation lol) and super long, but good nonetheless.

6. Falling Inn Love

This movie is super freaking cute. Gabriela (Christina Milian) decides that she needs a change and enters a contest to win an Inn in New Zealand. She wins the Inn and is shocked when she realizes the Inn needs a LOT of work. She goes around town to get stuff to fix up the Inn and constantly runs into Jake (Adam Demos) and they have this flirty but we don’t like each other relationship, but then ya know, they fall in(n) love. 

SHOWS -

1. The Society

I could talk about this show for hours, literally. I love it so much it’s insane. Ok, so lets start from the beginning. A town called West Ham is being plagued by a disgusting smell. Due to this, the town decides to send busloads of teenagers to the mountains while they try and resolve the smell situation. All of the teenagers fall asleep on the bus and wake up to the announcement that they had to go back home due to road blocks. When they get off the buses, its late and no one is there to pick them up. They think that it may just be a sense of miscommunication, so they head home, only to find that none of their families are there, and they can’t get ahold of any of them over the phone. They finally decide to investigate and find that all exits out of town are completely blocked off. They then decide to find a way to survive without their families. This causes a lot of tension within the town including the death of a main character. This shows also includes gay representation!!!! This is my favorite couple, Sam (Sean Birdy) and Grizz (Jack Mulhern). Sam is deaf and gay and his brother, Campbell (Toby Wallace), makes fun of him for both reasons, and when the whole issue with the town happens, he believes he will never find love because he doesn’t think anyone else is gay, until Grizz comes along, and tries to learn ASL and loves him for him.

2. Roswell New Mexico

Alright, to be completely honest, I did not want to watch this. I have no idea why I just didn’t. I saw an edit on like instagram or something of the couples in the show and I was like, alright I can give it a chance. And spoiler alert I loved it. The series starts off with Liz Ortecho (Jeanine Mason) comes back to her hometown of Roswell around the time of her the anniversary of her sister, Rosa’s (Amber Midthunder), death. She gets pulled over on her way in and the officer that pulled her over was Max Evans (Nathan Parsons), who has had a crush on her since they first met, and just so happens to be an alien. After Liz gets shot in her families restaurant, Max uses his healing powers to save her, but leaves behind a hand print on her that makes her suspicious. She continues to investigate until he tells her the truth. She also finds out that her sister was actually murdered, and has the same hand print on her that she did when Max healed her. Turns out, his sister, Isobel (Lily Cowels) killed her, but it was actually another alien possessing her (which they didn’t know was possible when she killed her). When they landed on earth they also landed with their “brother” Michael (Michael Vlamis) who starts off the series with an on and off relationship with Alex (Tyler Blackburn) and I love them together. Alex is the son of one of the guys trying to find and take down the aliens and he also went to war and lost his leg. Anyways, towards the end of the season Alex starts seeing Maria (Heather Hemmens), which is a couple I don’t really like, but also bi representation is good! Anyways I don’t really wanna spoil this one too much I just love it a lot.

3. Elite

This is a show that came out in 2018, but they released a second season this year. All I’m saying is please watch the original version, not the dubbed over version. Elite is a spanish show about a few students that get a scholarship to the private school after their school gets demolished. This shows is in the fashion of present and past which includes a lot of flashbacks leading up to the the murder of one of the students. My favorite part of this show is the relationship between Ander (Arón Piper) and Omar (Omar Ayuso). Ander is the son of the head of the school and Omar is the brother of one of the students that got a scholarship. Not only are they of different socioeconomic status’, but Omar is also Muslim, and his family would not approve of him being gay. He finally finds the courage to tell his family, but thats not until season 2. Also, his sister Nadia (Mina El Hammani) falls in love with the “bad boy” of the school, Guzmán (Miguel Bernardeau) and starts going against her parents wishes as well.

4. The Umbrella Academy 

Y’all mind if I confuse y'all real quick. So, a bunch of women all of the sudden give birth out of nowhere at the same time even tho none of them were pregnant? Yea I know weird. Anyways, so this dude tries to adopt as many of them as possible and ends up adopting like 7. They all have powers and they try and stop the apocalypse. That’s literally all I can tell y'all. 

5. Unbelievable

I swear I didn’t mean to get y’all upset right now. This show made me angry and sad and so many other feelings all at once. So the show beings with a girl named Marie (Kaitlyn Dever) getting raped in her home. When she reports it, they can’t find any evidence, as he cleaned the apartment and made her shower. This mixed with the fact that she struggles remembering parts of her experience (which is common with sexual assault), the police don’t believe her and force her to retract her statement. This in itself is awful, but they also charge her with false statement, which adds on to the fact that people already believe that she is a liar. Years later, two female detectives, Karen and Grace, piece together rapes in their precincts and once they find the rapist, they find Marie’s picture in with his belongings, proving that she was telling the truth the entire time.

6. Sailor Moon

I just got into anime and all I have to say is that I love this. That is all.