#stepping out of my lurker status for a second

[grandtheftautumn]

Fuck it

Because I love unapologetically jock!Chrissy

Chrissy getting into March Madness & starts rattling off about college basketball and Eddie finally knows how she feels when he goes off on DnD tangents.

[btsqualityy]

Assuage: Chapter 13

Yoongi x Reader

Genre: ABO (Alpha/Beta/Omega) dynamics, angst, fluff, smut, enemies to lovers

Warnings: None to note.

When you woke up the next morning, you could barely breathe from the lump that was Min Yoongi resting on top of you. 

Looking down, you smiled when you saw his head on your chest with his cheek smushed against your breast, his nose resting at the base of your neck. His legs were intertwined with yours and you couldn’t help but to notice how nicely your scent mixed with his as they both hung in the air. 

You still couldn’t believe how quickly things had moved between you and Yoongi, when you had the time to sit down and really think about it. You had never expected to even want to be in the same room with him but now, you had definitely fallen for him and at the rate that things were going, you knew it wouldn’t be long until you fell in love with him. 

“You’re thinking too loud,” Yoongi suddenly grumbled, and you smiled as you reached down and set your hands in his hair. 

“I’m sorry,” you whispered. 

“What time is it?” He asked and you glanced over at his bedside table, taking note of the time on the clock that sat there.

“8am.”

“I don’t function before 10 so let’s go back to sleep,” he muttered.

“I’m gonna have to raincheck,” you giggled. “I need to go to the Head Hall and talk to my brother about some things.”

“Everything ok?” 

“More than,” you assured him. “It’s just some small stuff, nothing serious.”

“And you have to go now?” He whined. “And leave me here, all alone, with only the remnants of your nest and your scent to remind me that you were even here?”

“You are so dramatic, what the fuck Yoongi?” You laughed. “I have an appointment with a pregnant Omega at 10 so I need to go talk to Joon before he gets too busy.”

“Ugh, fine,” he relented, lifting his head and opening his eyes to look at you for the first time this morning. “Wanna meet for lunch?”

“I’m booked up all day,” you grimaced. “What about dinner? You could come to my place and I’ll cook for you, for a change.”

“Sounds good,” he nodded, leaning up and kissing you gently. “I’ll see you later then baby.” After pressing a few more gentle kisses to his lips, you managed to pull yourself away from him and hop into his shower. Once you were out, you may or may not have snagged one of his flannel shirts from his dresser drawer before pressing another kiss to his forehead and sneaking out of his house. 

Your walk to the Head Hall was quick, given that you’d been making the same walk literally since you were born; first to visit your father and now, to visit your brother. Once you stepped inside, you climbed the massive staircase that led you to the second floor and you walked over to stand in front of Namjoon’s secretary’s desk.

“Hi Y/N!” Mina greeted you cheerfully and you couldn’t help but to smile back.

“Hi Mina. Where’s Tae?” You wondered, since Taehyung was Namjoon’s usual secretary.

“He called in with the “flu”,” she giggled. “Though if you ask me, I think he just didn’t want to pull himself away from that Alpha of his.”

“Most likely,” you laughed in agreement. “Is Namjoon here though?”

“Just got here about 20 minutes ago,” she nodded. “Go on in.”

“Thanks,” you said before stepping around the desk and knocking on the door to Namjoon’s office.

“Come in!” You heard him say and you pushed open the door, sticking your head inside a little so that he could see you.

“Busy?” You wondered and he shook his head as he motioned for you to come inside. You did so, making sure to shut the door behind you before you walked over to sit in one of the chairs that sat in front of his desk. You always got a bittersweet feeling whenever you went to visit Namjoon, since his office used to actually be your father’s before he was killed. 

“You know, as your older brother, I’m not even gonna ask why you reek of Min Yoongi because I don’t want to know,” he spoke up before you even had the chance to say anything, which made you smirk as you looked at him.

“Oh please, as many times as Tae and I accidently caught you and Hyo making out when we were teenagers,” you snickered, making Namjoon’s cheeks redden. “You can deal with some scenting.”

“You smell like you did a whole lot more than scenting or making out though,” he laughed and it was your turn for your cheeks to redden. “But what’s up?”

“Well, I wanted to check in with you and see what you thought about Yoongi,” you told him.

“Why would you ask me that?” He wondered with a chuckle as he sat back in his chair. “We both know that you’re gonna do whatever you want regardless of what I may have to say. You always have.”

“Yeah but you’re Pack Alpha and you’re also my only big brother,” you said. “Ideally, I’d like to have your approval.”

“But you don’t need it, given your status within the pack,” he pointed out and you rolled your eyes at him bringing that up.

“Well, give me your opinion according to my new status,” you replied.

“I like him well enough,” Namjoon sighed as he crossed his arms over his chest. “He seems strong and dependable, and he’s a damned good hunter so I know that he’d be able to provide for you and protect you. However, he’s a little on the quiet side.”

“What’s wrong with being quiet?”

“Nothing, if it doesn’t seem like someone is using that to hide something,” Namjoon shrugged. “He seems almost too quiet. Plus, I really wish we knew more about how he ended up almost dead and why whoever did that to him would just leave him there.”

“You think it was his fault?” You questioned with an arched brow.

“No, but you know as well as I do that if a person is thrown out of their pack, most of the reasons behind it aren’t positive ones,” he responded. 

“Still, it probably wasn’t his fault,” you replied.

“Probably, but the possibility is always going to be there until he tells us otherwise,” Namjoon shot back. “You wanted my opinion, that’s a part of it.”

“Hyo said that you said that you thought we’d make a good match though,” you brought up, making Namjoon groan loudly.

“God, I love that woman but she talks too much,” he huffed, making you chuckle. “When I said that, I meant it on the basis of our biology. I almost expected the two of you to be attracted to each other, and I wasn’t at all surprised when you showed up with that necklace on.”

“So you do approve then?” You pressed him.

“Yes Y/N-ah, I approve,” he relented as he rolled his eyes. 

“That’s all I wanted to hear,” you smiled. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” he shrugged and it was then that you noticed something in his sandalwood and pine scent was off.

“What’s wrong?” You asked him, and he sighed heavily before telling you.

“Hobi caught some lurkers on the edge of our territory last night,” he revealed, making your eyes widen. 

“Seriously?” You gasped. “You think it’s anything to be concerned about?”

“I think it’s Seo-hyun’s pack,” he confessed and you immediately felt anger cloud your senses once you heard that name. 

“Are you fucking serious?” You spat and Namjoon nodded.

“Seo-hyun has been the one that’s been pressuring the packs around here to fight over territory,” he reminded you.

“Just like he did before the Great Pack War,” you added.

“Exactly, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he sent those lurkers just to test me and see what I would do,” he said.

“Well, what are you going to do?” You wondered.

“I’m still working on that,” he replied honestly. “But whatever I come up with, I’m gonna try not to take it to the extremes of war again. That’s the last thing that this pack or any of the other packs need.”

“Agreed,” you nodded. “Well, I’ll let you get back to work.” You stood up from the chair and after he nodded at you, you turned around and walked towards the door. Just as your hand wrapped around the door knob, Namjoon called out to you.

“Y/N-ah?” He said and you turned around again to look at him. “Your heat’s coming up soon, right?”

“You know, you’ve been Pack Alpha for seven years now but I’ll still never get used to you knowing my heat cycle,” you blushed lightly.

“Trust me, it’s not my favorite piece of knowledge to have but you would’ve had to do it too if you kept your former status,” he pointed out. 

“To answer your question though, yes it’s coming up in like a week or so,” you told him. 

“You should tell Yoongi before then,” he advised you. “You know what I’m talking about?”

“Yeah, I know,” you smiled softly. “I’m gonna tell him. I just...have to figure out how to.”

“I get it,” Namjoon nodded. “Have a good rest of your day Y/N-ah.”

“You too Joon,” you replied before turning around and stepping out of his office, shutting the door behind you.

....................................................................

“Ok, so no offense or anything,” Yoongi began but you interrupted him.

“That’s usually what someone says right before they offend you,” you pointed out, making Yoongi laugh loudly.

“This probably will offend you but I have to say it, it looks like an actual blueberry in here,” Yoongi chuckled as he looked around your cabin. The two of you had been sat on your couch, eating the chili that you had cooked for dinner. This was his first time actually coming inside your house, and you were quickly regretting it.

“Blue is my favorite color,” you muttered petulantly. The walls in your living room were colored in powder blue, with the couch and two easy chairs matching it. Yoongi also couldn’t help but to notice how many vases you had with fresh carnations around as well.

“You like carnations?” Yoongi wondered.

“Love them,” you confirmed with a soft smile. “When I was little, my dad used to always get my mom a fresh bouquet of them every week. I got so used to having them in the house, I decided to keep it going once I got my own cabin.”

“They’re beautiful,” Yoongi said as he extended his arms towards you. You immediately moved closer to him, allowing him to wrap you up into a tight hug. 

“Missed you today,” you murmured as you nuzzled your nose against his scent gland on his neck. 

“I missed you too baby,” he whispered. 

“How was your day?” You questioned. 

“Busy,” Yoongi huffed. “Kibum didn’t feel well today so I ran the hardware shop by myself.”

“Really?” You gasped in surprise. “That’s great.”

“It was nerve wrecking,” he corrected you. “I wouldn’t have even done it if Kibum didn’t basically threaten my life.”

“Yeah, that’s how he gets what he wants,” you giggled. “How did it end up going though, besides being busy?”

“It was...good, actually,” he told you. “Since everyone mostly knows me now, it was smooth sailing.”

“Aw, look who’s a part of the pack now,” you cooed, and Yoongi laughed.

“I didn’t really expect to ever be,” he admitted. “Especially with me being an outsider.”

“Why?”

“Because in my old pack, being kind to each other wasn’t the norm,” Yoongi huffed. “And we definitely didn’t extend kindness to outsiders.”

“But you like it?” You guessed and he nodded.

“I do. I never thought I’d end up here, but I’m glad that I did,” he confessed, taking a second to lean down and press a kiss to the side of your head. 

“I’m glad that you did too,” you smiled. After saying that though, you couldn’t help but to hope that he would react well to your secret whenever you decided to tell him because you really were glad that he was there and you didn’t want to lose him. 

....................................................................

Tag List: @jikook-enthusiasts @veryuniquenamegoeshere @seolarsyj @littlrmills14-blog @preciouschimine @kt-rny @copenhagenspirit

[purplesurveys]

1278

Social Media Survey

[joybucket]

What is your favorite social media site?  Either Twitter or YouTube, though I never use YouTube as a social media site per se so I guess this round goes to Twitter.

Do you use...

facebook? myspace? twitter? snapchat? instagram? youtube? pinterest? bzoink? another site with message boards? tumblr? deviantart? xanga?

Facebook

Do you get on Facebook every day?  Yeah pretty much all throughout the day. I used to never use it, like never ever; but back in college all announcements were coursed through Facebook so I was technically required to be on it regularly, and it was from there that I began to see memes and start to be more active. I’m a shitposter more than anything though and I rarely ever post stuff of my own. How many FB friends do you have?  I have 679 at the moment but I want to get rid of like 500 of them; it’s just such a long list to go through so I never get to proceed with my unfriending spree lol.

Have you ever been on a deleting spree?  HAHA I just mentioned that. I’ve always wanted to, but like I said 679 is already such an exhaustive list for me, and that’s considering I only started touching my Facebook in like 2019. I can’t imagine people who started Facebook in like 2009 and have 4000 friends aka most people I know.

Have you blocked a lot of haters?  I don’t have haters; at least I’m not aware of any that I have. Not that it’s something I care about at this point.

Do you get bullied online a lot?  No, but that’s also because I don’t really open the channels for people to send in hate. I don’t have Q&A handles like Curious Cat and I never pick out that option in Instagram where people can send in questions.

What's your favorite Facebook app?  Oh I never use Facebook for their apps. Are those still even a thing...? Anyway, I mainly go there to be on the hunt for stupid memes I can reshare or to watch videos that are either funny or informative.

Are you a fan of selfies?  I don’t mind if other people do it, but I think I’m honestly bad at selfies so I almost never take them. I’ve never figured out my angles or what filters look ok on me.

Has anyone ever called the police on you because they didn't like your status?  No but I have had my posts reported because they were deemed ‘offensive.’ Which is weird because my posts that have been taken down are those that speak out against disgusting men, which says a lot about Facebook runs their shit more than anything else.

Are you in any facebook groups?  I’m in nearly a hundred groups, both private i.e. for school purposes, and public.

Are you the admin of any groups?  Nah. Too much time and effort needed out of me.

Do you report abuse to group admins whenever you see it?  Yes. I report the post then leave the group.

What could make Facebook better?  They could put more effort into detecting and banning troll farms.

What year did you start using Facebook?  I made an account in 2012 because of a high school class that required us to upload this specific video-format homework onto Facebook (which in hindsight is such an insensitive homework considering that was nearly a decade ago when the Philippines was still severely behind in internet connection speeds?? Ugh). But I didn’t start actively using my account until around two years ago.

What is your current profile picture of?  Myself, posing in front of the sunflowers in school during the recent graduation season.

Did you like the old Myspace better than Facebook?  I was never a regular user of Myspace, so...

Pinterest

What are some of your favorite boards?  I’ve never had a clue what the purpose of Pinterest was. I mean I have an account...but I’ve also never gotten the hang of it?? so I never touch it hahaha.

Have you ever done a craft you saw on Pinterest?  Well no, because I’m terrible at arts and crafts anyway.

Do you have a Dream Wedding board? If so, what's on it?  No.

If you have a Dream House board, what does your dream house look like?  Ok fine this one I did start hahahah but I don’t even remember what I added on there anymore. I’m sure it was filled with modern-style houses with minimalist interior design.

Do you wish they'd bring the "like" button back?  I’m not even aware of this option.

Do you have a Bucket List board?  Not aware of this either.

Which do you like better: Just Girly Things or And That's Who I Am? The second one sounds less childish. < Same, and it sounds like it covers more.

Do you have a board for tattoos you like? If so, what are some of your faves?  No. The only one I ever made was the house one, then Pinterest quickly became boring from there when I realized there wasn’t much else I could do besides making mood boards.

Do you have a "Random" or "Miscellaneous" board?  No.

Have you ever reached the maximum number of boards?  No.

Do you have any secret boards?  No.

Have you ever had a Pin deleted because of copyright laws?  No.

Do you have a Color board? No.

Do you have an About Me board? If so, what's on it? No.

YouTube

Do you have a YouTube channel? If so, what is it?  Technically I do but I only have it so I can tailor video suggestions to my interests and so that I can like videos and subscribe to channels I like.

What kind of things do you post on YouTube?  I’ve never posted any video on there, not even private ones. I’m also not the type to comment.

What do you like to watch on YouTube?  These days YouTube serves as a stress reliever for me, which is to say I would typically go for humorous BTS-related compilations because there are sooooo many hilarious channels that make these great videos haha. Occasionally I’d go back to channels or series that I used to frequent, like Good Mythical Morning, Buzzfeed’s Worth It and Unsolved, Try Guys, Watcher, etc. 

Are you subscribed to any channels?  To so many.

Do you watch any vlogs? If so, what ones are your favorite?  Hm probably Jiwoo’s, though her channel is called Mejiwoo. I find her content calming and conversational and basically fun to binge-watch when I’m not looking for anything super super particular to watch.

If you have a channel, how many subscribers do you have?  0. I’m just a lurker.

Will you subscribe to my channel? (msg me if you want a link!)  Only if it’s really fit to my interests, I guess.

Do you watch music videos?  Rarely; not a fan of MVs in particular. I only really ever put an exception for BTS.

Have you ever watched a TV show on youtube?  Well no since their copyright team works hard and works fast lol. I do watch entire video game walkthroughs from time to time.

Have you ever worked out to exercise videos on youtube?  No, I can’t care less about working out tbh.

Have you watched Amanda Todd's famous video?  No. I’m scared that it might be too upsetting or triggering for me.

Have you ever looked up how to do something on YouTube?  Not really, I prefer looking up articles that can teach me step by step in words.

Do you get a lot of hate comments on youtube?  No, I’ve never posted anything on there.

How long have you been a youtuber?  Never been.

Instagram

Do you post on Instagram a lot?  I do 1-3 Instagram stories in a week, I would say. As for posts, I only have 4 in total and I don’t really feel the pressure to add more. I just post when I feel the want to.

Have you ever posted a poll on instagram?  Nah, I’m not too sure if anyone would participate so I’ve never tried. If you don't have an iPhone, do you wish you could use Instagram?  I’m pretty sure other operating systems can also use Instagram...

Do you have any followers?  Around 50, I think.

Do you like Instagram filters? I’ll use them sometimes to make my stories appear prettier.

Twitter

Do you think twitter is stupid? Hehe show me at least one person who doesn’t think so. < Coming from someone who regularly uses Twitter, agree. It is crazy stupid but stupid is what I’m there for. Which is honestly not always such a bad thing to me - I like that people are more themselves, more stripped-down, vulnerable on Twitter. People always seem to want to show off their best selves on Facebook and Instagram, so I’m actually kind of grateful that there is at least one social media out there where people can just be their clumsy, goofy selves.

How often do you tweet?  Probably a maximum of five a day. Nowadays I’m on there mostly to just scroll through my timelines.

Do you get on twitter every day?  Yes, both on my personal and fan account.

Bzoink

Do you make a lot of surveys?  I never make them but I try to take them as often as I can.

Do you take a lot of surveys?  Haha sorry, was one step ahead of you. Yeah, I do.

Do you post in the message boards?  Nah. I dunno if I’m even permitted to check the message boards on Bzoink considering I don’t have an account.

What types of surveys are your favorite?  Categorized surveys like this one or countdown ones can be fun, but at the end of the day I like sticking to the classic random survey.

Do you have friends on here?  Not on Bzoink, but here on Tumblr yes! There’s a number of people here I like keeping up with :)

Do you post all your secrets on here?  Again, not on Bzoink; but yep I share pretty much everything here.

What type of survey do you think I should make next?  Anything but basic/about me-themed ones that will ask for my name and eye color and weight.

Do you read peoples' answers to your surveys?  I’ve never made a survey.

Do you think you are good at making surveys? 

Do you try to make unique surveys?

What type of surveys do you want to see more of?

Random

This or That

Scattergories

Have You Ever

Are you like me?

About You

Personal, Deep Questions

Girly

Music shuffle

Would You Rather

Do you have this in your bedroom?

Long

Short

All About Your Crush

Fashion

Make-up

School

Music

Your health

Your friends

Confessions

Girl Confessions - how different is this from just confessions? Hahaha

R-Rated

Controversial topics

Myspace

Did you have a myspace when you were in high school?  I started an account in like 4th grade when Myspace was ~big, but I didn’t find it fun and everyone my age was on Friendster anyway, so I was largely inactive.

Do you use myspace now?  No. Is it still even around? I have no clue.

Do you miss bulletins? I didn’t get to join in on the fun so there’s nothing to miss.

Did you like customizing your profile with the old myspace?  Not attributed to Myspace but I did have a lot of fun customizing my Multiply and Tumblr accounts back in the day. That was a period where I really got to learn and play around with HTML :)

Did you have music on your profile?  Not on Myspace again but I did on Multiply! I had a cute little playlist that played the songs immediately as soon as you landed on my page hahaha.

Did you learn HTML when you used Myspace?  Tumblr, yeah. I believe the skills are still there but I’ll definitely be a bit rusty.

Did you have a customized cursor?  Oh, no. Wasn’t a fan of those as I found them a bit tacky.

Did you use glitter graphics?  Also found those tacky haha no, I never used those.

Do you remember posting glitter graphics on friends' pages?  Nope.

Did you make "dolls"?  I don’t recall ever making those.

Did you use photo captions?  Not sure what this is referring to so let’s just say no.

Did you have a photo slideshow on your profile?  Hmmm nope, I don’t think so.

Xanga

Did you have a Xanga account back in the day?  No. It wasn’t big here so I had never heard of it until I started taking surveys on here and heard people mentioning Xanga, actually.

Do you have a xanga account now?  No.

Did you post photos and quotes on your xanga page?  I never had any.

Snapchat

Do you use snapchat?  I did; I was superrrrr active on there for a time. It kind of just got old at one point, though, and my feed got more and more dead until I too just left my account dormant altogether.

What is your favorite filter?  There were a lot of cute ones on there that helped me be more confident with taking selfies but my favorites have to be the dog and flower crown ones.

Tumblr

Do you understand Tumblr?  I had a better handle of it when I ran a fan account that required me to be more active; but now that I really just go on here to take surveys I just use the basic functions and nothing more. But yeah, I understand just enough to get by.

Do you use Tumblr?  Yeah. Even on the days I don’t post surveys, I regularly go on here to keep up with friends I like keeping up with like Elisabeth, Lane, Steph, Lina, Julie :)

Other

What forum sites did you use to love that aren't around anymore?  There was one message board I frequented for this girly/tween magazine I used to collect, but I won’t share the name.

Are there any other great social media sites that you recommend?  I think this survey was able to cover all the main ones I use.

Do you use a photo editing site? If so, what?  I use apps instead of sites to edit my photos.

Do you ever use BeFunky.com?  Nope.

Do you use a video editing site? If so, what?  Nah, I rarely have to edit videos in a super intricate, detailed way. Apple’s video editing features suffice for me.

Have you ever downloaded fonts?  Very occasionally since it’s never necessary.

Have you ever used photobucket to upload an image?  No but I remember going on there back in the day to look for images. I never uploaded any, though.

Do you use iTunes?  Not anymore. I have an account on Spotify now.

Do you listen to music on Pandora?  No, never used it.

[mithrilwren]

Shadows and Light

On the evening of the Nein's return to Xhorhas, Essek finds himself wandering past their door again, searching for... well, if he knew the answer to that question, this would all be so much simpler. 

Basically, Essek and the M9 hang out, because this poor boy deserves a break. Also on Ao3.

-----

With all likelihood, they won’t even be there.

The Mighty Nein are just as likely to have returned to the Empire by now as to have stayed the night in Rosohna, Essek reasons, even as the inescapably logical portion of his mind soundly rejects the hypothesis.

(They said they were for us, for the Dynasty, and even if most of them are from the Empire…

And even if…)

It’s just a walk, is his second justification. A chance to clear my mind. He has work to do – reports piling up on his desk, people to message before the day is done – but he can spare fifteen minutes, surely, to breath in the night air and recenter himself. It might make him more productive when he returns to his study, and at the same time he can check for watchers-on in the vicinity of the house, or any sign of illicit activity. While he does not think anyone would openly accost sanctioned guests of the Bright Queen, these are strange times, and it does not hurt to be cautious.

Excuses continue to float through his mind as Essek approaches the halo of luminescent light that radiates from the guardian tree upon the house’s apex. The sound of caterwauling – in every sense of the word - meets his ears.

Home, then, Essek thinks, then corrects himself. Still here. The Mighty Nein have not yet returned to Rexxentrum, and any would-be lurkers have doubtless been chased off by the awful din emanating from the house. No reason to stay any longer.

At his own home, the work is waiting. It is always waiting: an inescapable, immovable mountain of tasks, no matter how much he chips away at the foundation. One night of neglect, and it will all come crashing down on his head – or, at least, it often feels that way.

Five minutes more. He’ll walk past the door, and then return. By this point, the path to the house is practically on the way. A justifiable excuse to continue walking.

Five minutes more.

The cobblestone reflects the faint daylight that drifts from the tree to the street below. It burns faintly against Essek’s skin – not quite strong enough to damage the tissue, but enough to be a constant aggravation. He’d thought at first the magic was a deterrent, meant to keep unwanted drow from snooping about. But now, he suspects the Mighty Nein were simply ignorant of the effect it would have on their neighbours, as they are ignorant of most everything that lives within Xhorhas.

That willful lack of prudence should be frustrating – after all, he is tasked with ensuring the group assimilates, to some degree– but their carelessness seems only to add to his hopeless endearment with each passing day.

And after all, some of the dens in the area could stand to experience a little discomfort now and then.

He’s by the door now, close enough to look through one of the windows if he so chose. Close enough to knock. Which is a foolish idea. An utterly foolish idea.

He has so much work to do.

Almost anything else would be preferable.

His hand finds the doorframe almost of its own will, and he can scarcely believe what he’s done as he draws back, the echo of his rapping knuckles against the wood fading away.

He stares at his traitorous hand. Surely, the sound was drowned out in the rest of the noise, he thinks wildly. The instruments haven’t ceased their wailing, at least. Surely, he still has time to-

Ting-a-ling-a-ling.

The door cracks open, revealing a sliver of green skin near waist level. Yellow eyes blink up at him. He blinks back.

“Guys?” Nott calls over her shoulder, never breaking eye contact. “Essek’s here!”

The music finally stops, and Essek has no rational explanation why his heart feels suddenly too weighty for his ribs to contain.

A flurry of footsteps, and then the door is swinging fully open, and there are four of the Nein staring out at him. Beau, and Fjord, and hovering in the background, Caduceus, with a flute of bone and pearl still dangling in his fingers.

“What’s wrong?” Beau asks, already pressing forward past the others. “Did something happen?”

Right, he thinks. Right, that would be the assumption, as he tries to come up with some excuse, any excuse for his presence that isn’t in the shape of ‘it seemed less agonizing than heading home’.

“My apologies,” he says, bowing his head slightly, “I didn’t mean to disturb you. I was only hoping to borrow Caleb for an hour or so?” Beau’s eyes narrow, and Essek searches for his next words, the right ones to justify himself. To de-escalate the mess he created. “Since your group might not be back in Rosohna for some time, I thought we might take the opportunity to squeeze in one more lesson. Assuming Caleb is interested, of course.”

Good. Plausible. And knowing Caleb, an undeniable lure. The correct thing to say, even if Essek’s heart clenches in his chest all the more to know he’s drawing the man away from his friends for the evening, all to bolster his own pointless deception. He’s seen the bags under Caleb’s eyes. He deserves to relax for a night, as much as any man. And still, Essek is selfish, and he cannot take back the words now he’s said them.

Beau considers for a moment, then glances down at Nott, who looks back at Essek with unveiled suspicion, and he is suddenly and violently reminded that however much he has observed this group, they have been observing him in turn.

The thought is… not pleasant.

“Nah,” says Beau. “Fuck that shit.” Then she grabs Essek by the arm and pulls him through the door. “Caleb’s spent the last two days stuck in the library with me. Your little lesson can wait until the band’s finished, at least.” Fjord jabs her in the ribs as they pass him by, and a smile materializes on Beau’s face, one that more closely resembles a pained grimace. “Oh yeah, come on in, welcome to our home, whatever.” Beau glares at Fjord. “Do I have to do this every time?”

“No formalities are necessary,” Essek assures her, and takes his arm back before she can feel the escalating rate of his pulse through his sleeve. Which is, again, a foolish reaction. He has no reason to feel anxious. The Dynasty granted the Nein this house, it’s as much his right to be there as theirs, but he still isn’t sure how he ended up in this position. How all his individual actions could have led to this moment, to him being pulled into an open space of haphazard pillows and mismatched furniture arranged in a semi-circle around a still-seated Yasha and Jester. Caduceus rejoins the pair, and Beau directs him to the spot on the floor next to where Caleb sits cross-legged with his cat in his lap. He balances a closed book on one knee, like he meant to open it and got distracted somewhere in the effort.

Caleb looks up, taking in Essek’s presence with a little surprised oh that becomes a welcoming nod, and that too is endearing, and Essek should not be here. He is meant to be at home, finishing his work, ensuring all is ready for the days to come.

“I’m sorry,” he begins to say, readying the next excuse on his lips, when Caleb’s hand finds his sleeve and pulls him down to the floor. And, light guide him, he goes.

He allows himself to be manoeuvred onto a cushion, seated with legs bowed slightly to the left as the trio resumes their playing. Nott still shoots him the occasional suspicious look from Caleb’s other side, but the rest of the Nein seem… strangely comfortable with his alien presence in their midst. He is considerably less comfortable to find himself there.

This whole circumstance is beneath him. If someone from the Bright Queen’s council were to see him here, in such an undignified position as this, he’d be laughed out of the throne room. To be taken seriously has been a decades-long endeavour, in light of his age and his as-of-yet unconsecuted status. He knows there are still those who would jump at the chance to embarrass him for less than this, if it meant elevating their own status.

And yet, he accepts a lukewarm cocktail from Beau when offered, and listens all the way to the end of the ‘song’, if it can be called that. Caleb’s presence at his side is an ever-nagging thought, prodding at him from all angles, and that too is an impropriety he should not indulge. Has not indulged. Has been very careful not to indulge, for many, many weeks.

(There are many things he knows, that would be dangerous in the wrong hands. He does not intend to make his own feelings one of them.)

The music ends, and he is immediately smothered in attention. Jester’s voice rings the loudest, pressing over the others with adulation and excitement that makes his (recently, near-constant) headache start to surge.

And it’s Caleb, of all people, who takes his sleeve again and draws him away from the clamour.

“We will be back,” he assures the rest, “but I believe you had something to show me?”

He leads Essek down the stairs, towards the basement library where they’ve spent the majority of their time together. His mouth runs drier with every step.

He made a promise of more, when he arrived, and now he must honour it, but there haven’t been the proper preparations this time. Essek is walking himself out on a narrow limb at an already precarious time, and if he teaches Caleb yet another unapproved spell tonight, he may find himself tipping the balance. The Bright Queen still doesn’t trust the Nein, after all they’ve done.

And he, so, so foolishly, does.

They stop just inside the door. Caleb closes it, and Essek swallows down the tightness in his throat. With his back ramrod straight, he has a good few inches over Caleb, and his posture is always pristine. He still looks the part of the confident tutor, and that is all that matters.

“So,” says Caleb, “what are we going to study tonight?”

The brightness is still there in his expression, the eagerness mixed with no small hint of fear, as Caleb makes himself vulnerable before Essek’s eyes. He makes himself vulnerable, as much as Essek makes himself imposing, and he wonders if Caleb has realized the same thing about him yet – whether only Essek has been watching closely for the tricks of the trade. They understand each other too well. They have known the same sort of training, have lived very different but somehow parallel lives.

They are complicit in their dishonesty, and Essek is abruptly tired of it, so very tired of everything that is involved in this dance of mutual manipulation. He is tired.

“Nothing,” says Essek. “My apologies, yet again. I should not have come.”

Caleb’s hand is on his arm once more, and the touch burns right through his cloak, through his skin, all the more painful for how much he wants to let it linger. It feels different than the tension that courses through his limbs, and he has wanted nothing else, through the last few weeks of escalating demands and endless worry and impossible tasks, to feel different. It’s comforting, and awful, and he doesn’t want to remove the hand, and hates himself for not having the same willpower he did in the forest – the last time Caleb attempted the same.

He wants to think that the touch is genuine, but wanting is not the same as believing. This – this thing between the two of them – is still work, of a sort, and pretending it is anything else would be a betrayal. It would be a betrayal of his queen, of himself, and even of Caleb, who is working as hard as him, though towards an end Essek has never been able to fully pin down.

“Should we sit?” Caleb offers, and Essek finally removes his eyes from the lingering hand, the one he has not yet managed to shrug off. They find Caleb’s, and there’s a different sort of vulnerability living behind them now – uncertainty, yes, but also understanding, and no small measure of determination. “It was too loud up there for my tastes. Thank you, for giving me an excuse to catch my breath.”

Still, Caleb looks at Essek, and squeezes his arm gently as a small, self-deprecating smile ghosts his lips. He saw my discomfort, Essek thinks. He noticed, and offered me an escape.

What does he expect in return?

Essek does his best to mirror Caleb’s expression, to keep the dance going, but can’t quite make the same light appear in his own eyes. There have been too many sleepless nights to fake another expression of certainty he doesn’t feel, and he doesn’t know what Caleb hopes to see anyway, so really, what’s the point, of any of it?

His inner voice is petulant to his own ears, and he chides himself even as he surrenders to it. One does not remain the Shadowhand by dropping their guard at a whim. It’s his duty to maintain his own composure, regardless of any feelings he might hold. It’s his responsibility. It’s-

“-alright,” Caleb is calling up the stairs. “We’ll be up soon, Nott!” He looks back at Essek. “Whenever you’re ready,” he says more quietly. When did Caleb become this confident? When did their roles reverse?

And Essek still can’t spot where the manipulation hides.

It scares him, more than the thought that he might have missed a tell, the notion that this might not be a game after all. That Caleb might be honest – at least here, at least now – in his intentions.

After all, the Mighty Nein – to a fault, admittedly – seem to land within the realm of overbearing honesty. When Jester asked about his mother’s name earlier in the evening, he forgot to be suspicious of her reason for asking. When Beau offered him a glass, he did not think to check for poison lacing the rim. If Caleb touches his arm in a comforting manner, can he believe that too?

If there is a proper manner to forming… honest relationships, he is sorely out of practice. But the alternative is to remain on guard for the rest of eternity, and more and more, he’s beginning to suspect he won’t survive to his first consecution, if he doesn’t find a way to relieve the constant pressure in his chest, the kind that reminds him that every word must be carefully considered. That anything less than perfection could mean the end of his career, his status, the very future of his soul.

(There are times, when he sits at his desk and puts his head in his hands, and tastes the sourness on his own quickening breath, that he wonders if this body is already falling apart from the inside.)

“Thank you,” he says at last, and puts his hand over Caleb’s – not to draw it away, but to press his own fingers down. To squeeze back.

He’s not wearing gloves. It has been an age since he’s felt another’s skin against his own. He’s almost not sure what to make of the sensation, at first. But Essek finds he doesn’t want to let go, and Caleb doesn’t force him to. No expectations. No exchange. Just a small moment of comfort, the first he’s allowed himself in a long while.

Essek almost lets himself believe, as he chances one more glance into Caleb’s eyes before pulling away, that it was a comfort for them both.

They return upstairs, in the end, and Essek stays for another hour of socialization more. He dances around the edge of Jester’s more personal questions, but answers a few of the less intrusive ones. He compliments the unnerving beauty of Yasha’s new harp, and receives a soft smile in return. He finds himself laughing at Fjord’s dry humour, and the sound catches him off-guard, for being the second time he’s heard it leave his mouth today.

He doesn’t remember the last time he laughed – at least, not without flattery as the main objective. Perhaps a little too much honesty has seeped into his blood now, because it feels worryingly natural to be easy in their company.

That’s another thing he’s scarcely remembered – that some things could be easy.

At last, he begs off to return home, and they all bid him farewell at the door. Even Nott gives him a little wave, and he waves back before heading off into the night.

When he opens the door to his home, his servants greet him immediately, take his coat, beckon him towards his study. The world grows narrow again as the new words filter in amidst the resumed rushing in his ears, -needs a response by the morrow- and he agrees without fully hearing the request.

If it must be done by tomorrow, he will get it done. There is no other option. And he does, along with every other task that cannot wait. Then he looks at the stack of scrolls on his desk.

It will continue to grow if he leaves it, and there are still a few hours yet till morning-

Thank you, for giving me an excuse to catch my breath.

Essek shakes his head, and looks again at the stack.

They will still be here tomorrow.

…It can wait.

Though morning still comes too soon, Essek finds it easier to drift off to sleep tonight than usual.

He may be foolish, but he’s not so naïve that he doesn’t realize the reason why.

[star-spangled-eyes]

Dirty Mind: Part 2: Comfortably Numb

This alternate universe fan fiction uses characters created and owned by Pixelberry Studios. Character names, descriptions and likenesses are owned by Pixelberry Studios. Some dialogue and events in Book 1 of TRR are property of Pixelberry Studios. The MC, Bragnae Bennett, and story is created and owned by this author.

Book: The Royal Romance (Alternate Universe)

Alternate Universe Theme: Drake’s perspective  

Pairing: Drake Walker x MC (Bragnae Bennett – *pronounced Brawn-yah)

Warnings for this miniseries: NSFW, Adult content, suggestive and strong language, angst, sex (including character’s thoughts and innuendos)

Masterlist

A/N: I wrote this miniseries in the first person perspective of Drake Walker. It follows events in Book 1 of TRR, but not everything is as you’d remember it from the story. Some things have been altered to better fit this fanfic.

I really enjoyed getting into the brain of Drake, and I hope you like it too. He’s a stud, and I love his sexual, angsty mind.

The conclusion will release tomorrow!

Word Count for this chapter: 7104

Permatags: @burnsoslow @cora-nova @dcbbw @thorfosterlove @emceesynonymroll @edgiestwinter @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @msjr0119 @notoriouscs @drakewalker04 @pedudley @desiree-0816 @choices-lurker @kingliam2019 @loveellamae @drakexnadira @flutistbyday2020 @indiana-jr​ @yukinagato2012​ @i-bloody-love-drake-walker​

We walked downstairs to the gym side by side. It was nice. I smiled when I noticed no one else was in there when we arrived. This was my chance to spend some quality time with Bragnae. It was almost 10:00p.m. The feeling of night made this even more exciting. I don’t know what I expected to happen tonight, but I was open to any of it.

“So, what are we working on tonight?” She asked.

“How about chest and back since your legs are sore from the ride?”

She nodded. “Sounds great.”

“Have you ever bench pressed before?” I asked her. This would be a good place to start.

“Not really.”

I moved over to the equipment and grabbed a few weights to stack them on the bar. “Okay, why don’t you spot me first, and then you can see how to do it.”

She looked apprehensive, but agreed. “I don’t know how much I’ll be able to spot you. This looks like a lot of weight for me to catch.” She took a second to calculate the weight. “Drake, this weighs more than me.”

Good to know I can easily lift you over me or against a wall when necessary. “And you probably didn’t even factor in the weight of the bar, which is 45 pounds.”

Her mouth gaped open. “Oh my God.” Her stunned look changed into a curious one. “So, what’s the most amount of weight you’ve ever bench pressed before?”

I laid down on the bench and got into position. “250.”

She was impressed again. I couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s incredible, Drake.”

“Thanks. I’m working to increase that.” I extended my arms to prepare for my set. “Can you stand behind my head? That’s where a spotter usually stands.”

“Oh, sure.” She moved behind me. Her thighs close to my head, and in the perfect position for me to admire the curves of her breasts.

If I wasn’t careful, I could get too distracted, and hurt myself. I picked up the bar and pumped out ten repetitions before setting it back on the stand.

“You make that look easy,” she praised.

“I’m just used to it.” I got up and removed all the weights from the bar. “Your turn. Go ahead and lie down. You can start with just the bar, and if it’s too easy, we’ll just add more weight.”

“Alright,” she said before taking position on the bench. I watched her eyes as they traveled past the bar and up to mine for a moment.

“I’ll spot you the entire time, so if it’s too heavy, let me know and I’ll grab it.”

She nodded and swallowed before extended her arms up to grab the bar. I lifted it off the stand for her.

“You good?” I asked.

“Yep. I’ve got it.” Bragnae raised and lowered the bar ten times before I helped her place it back on the rack.

“Great job. Let’s do a couple more sets of these.”

Bragnae and I worked through a few other exercises that focused on our chest muscles before making our way over to the cable machine with dual weight sets.

“I’ll do this first, so you can see how it goes.” I set the weight for myself on both sides, grabbing the triangular pull handle on one side before I grabbed the other. I pulled the two cables towards my chest before slowly extending back out again.

“Look’s great, Drake,” Bragnae said from behind me. Even with a mirrored wall in front of me, I couldn’t see her face. She must’ve been standing directly behind me.

“Thanks, but there’s not much to this exercise.”

“No, I was talking about your back. Your muscles are… chiseled perfectly.”

I beamed inside as I pulled the cables and weights to my chest again. I paused suddenly when I felt her hand lightly touch the bare skin of my back.

“You carry a lot of weight on your back,” she said softly. “No wonder you have to keep it so strong.” Bragnae brought her other hand up to rest against me.

I don’t know if she did this on purpose, but I couldn’t just release the cables without possible wrecking the equipment. So, I stayed that way holding the cables close to my chest waiting for her next move. My entire body was tense. I didn’t even know what to say. She was touching me. Jesus.

The woman missed nothing. In the short time that we knew each other, she already knew of the burdens I carried for others. God, she’s incredible.

Her hands shifted to my sides as she stepped closer to me. My heart was about to beat out of my chest. My hands began to tremble from the weight I strained to hold. I’d have to do something soon, otherwise I could injure myself.

“Bragnae,” I finally managed to say.

I felt her back away as her hands left my body. “I’m sorry. I’ll let you get back to it.”

I slowly extended my arms again. My muscles were sore from how tensely I was holding the weight. I returned both cables to their original positions before turning around to face her. She was still standing close, looking up at me. Neither one of us spoke. We just poured our thoughts and energy from the moment prior into each other’s eyes.

“Drake,” she murmured.

I really wanted to kiss her, but something held me back. She was making it abundantly clear that she had feelings for me just by the way she looked at me. So, why the hell wasn’t I doing something about it?

Just as she took a step towards me, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Liam walking into the gym. Fuck. I quickly, but as casually as I could, looked away and grabbed a nearby towel to wipe my hands as my friend strolled up to us. God, I hope he didn’t think the worst of this situation. I know I would if I walked in on us like this. The atmosphere alone was thick with the amount of sexual tension and unexpressed feelings.

“Lady Bragnae. What a pleasant surprise. Getting a work out in?”

Bragnae spun on the balls of her feet so fast I thought she’d tip over from the momentum. “Liam. Hi. Yes. I thought I’d check this place out. It’s a nice facility.”

I wondered why she was deliberately not mentioning that I invited her here tonight. Was she trying to protect me so Liam didn’t think I was pursuing her? Or did she not want Liam to think she was here with me to protect her status as a suitor?

“What brings you down here so late, Liam?” Bragnae asked. Her back was still facing me. I couldn’t see her face as she spoke, but I noticed her hands fidgeting.

Liam looked at her for a moment. His eyes briefly trailing down her body and back up again. “Actually, I came down here to speak to Drake the Gym Rat about something.” He looked at me next. “I figured I’d find you down here when I saw you weren’t in your room.”

“Oh, well, I was finished anyway. I’d better go get started on my beauty sleep for the country jamboree tomorrow.” Bragnae told him.

Liam smiled down at her. “Like you even need it.”

Such a cornball sometimes. I shook my head slightly at his comment while Bragnae offered a polite giggle in response. Then she turned to me. Her amber eyes bore into me with sincerity as she smiled ruefully.

“Thanks for your help with the work out.”

“Anytime.” I wanted to stare into her eyes longer, but I knew Liam was watching, and no doubt assessing everything happening in front of him. I would be, but then again, maybe that’s just my jealous nature. I always expect the worst. But that’s how I’m able to stay one step ahead of everyone and protect the ones I care about. So, I returned my attention back the towel in my hand as Bragnae turned back to Liam.

“Goodnight, guys.” Bragnae hastened out of the gym as Liam responded in kind to her.

I watched her leave, and so did Liam. He kept his eyes on her until she was no longer in sight. What a situation this was. Two men pining after the same woman. One could have her any time he wanted. The other would have to suffer with the realization that he’d never be with her. I kept wishing I was the former, but I knew that was too much to hope for.

Liam turned back to face me. “Goddamn, she’s hot.” He blew out a low whistle, shaking his head.

Yeah, I know. You don’t have to tell me. I can barely control myself when she’s around. “So, what’s up, Liam?”

“Well, I wanted to talk to you about Bragnae actually,” he began.

Oh, fuck. “What about?”

“Earlier when we stopped at the old village to eat, I saw Tariq talking with Bragnae.” He paused, trying to formulate his next words. “I… well, I just got a weird vibe about it. I’ve seen him look at her on more than one occasion, and it’s always with… a certain wanting. And when I walked up to them, he was talking about offering her a massage because her back was sore from the horse ride. I don’t know,” he shook his head again. “He was standing a little too close for comfort.”

What the fuck, Tariq? I remembered seeing that interaction, but I had no idea what was said. I wondered if I should tell him that. I mean, Liam did task me with keeping an eye on her, so it wouldn’t be weird that I did see it. That’s just me being vigilant, right? “Yeah, I noticed that tonight, too. What are you thinking, Liam?”

He sighed, and worked his jaw in contemplation. “He’s not the same guy I once knew. We’ve grown apart over the years. I just want you to keep an eye on him. For some reason, I don’t trust him around her. I just don’t want her to be uncomfortable, or get into a situation that can be misconstrued by the public, you know? So, if you see that he’s trying to talk with her, maybe you could step in.”

“Consider it done. I have no problem telling Tariq to ‘fuck off’ if I need to. Bennett’s safety and wellbeing is most important.” That was the complete truth. Unguarded. And I liked being able to say it out loud.

Liam clapped me on the shoulder. “Thanks, Drake. I knew I could count on you.” He started to leave, but turned back to me. “Just let me know if you see anything else sketchy with him. I’ll send him away from court if I have to. I would have done it already, but I don’t really have a good reason.”

“I hope he doesn’t give you one, but I’ll keep an eye on him all the same.”

Liam nodded. “Good man. Thanks.”

As Liam left me I couldn’t help but feel anger towards Tariq. What a creep. I’d definitely be keeping a closer eye on him. I was already watching Bragnae more closely than I probably should, but Liam asked me too. And Bragnae needed to be protected.

Knowing about Tariq from Liam’s perspective fueled the fire inside me even more. The bastard. If he even got within ten feet of her, I’d stand by her side and wouldn’t leave until I knew she was safe. I shook my head in disgust. Like Bragnae would even go for a twerp like Tariq. Why did he even think he was in her league? He’s fucking not.

I gripped the towel in my hand at the thought of him. Just try something Tariq. I fucking dare you.

~

The next day was the country jamboree. Everyone was out in the gardens playing games you might see at a festival. There was plenty of food to be had, and the place was crawling with snobby nobles. The press was not allowed at Applewood Manor while we were there, which I preferred. Fucking vultures. They’d make things worse anyway. They always did.

I kept to myself all day. I walked the grounds keeping my eye on Bragnae. Tariq was there too, but he hadn’t been so bold as to speak to her again. I’d be there if he did.

Bragnae looked beautiful today. She wore a white and floral strappy dress with a brown belt around her waist. Knee high brown boots really brought her outfit together for the country theme. I smirked at the thought of her wearing a cowboy hat. I’d love to see her in one. The ‘country’ attire was more than enough for me. If she never wore another ball gown, I’d be just as happy to see her in things like this. It was simple, and I liked simple.

She pulled her hair into a low, side bun, and wove a white flower on the opposite side. She was absolutely gorgeous. A necklace adorned her chest. The point of the heart at the bottom of the chain drew my eyes directly to her playful cleavage. Clever aesthetic these women did to drive the men crazy. I’d give just about anything to see her breasts. Caress them. Draw her hardened nipples into my mouth and tug on them gently with my teeth. I’d make her come just by the way my hands, mouth and tongue worked against the curves of her chest.

I blew out a deep breath to calm my arousal. I was on a mission, and I couldn’t exactly sneak off right now to give myself the release I desperately needed in that moment. God, how I wished I could have that release with her instead of with my goddamned hand.

As the sun set, everyone was called to dinner. This was the last event of the night, and I was not invited. I know Liam wouldn’t have minded if I crashed, but I honestly didn’t care to go. It was all courtly talk anyway and more fawning over Liam by his suitors. The only thing that made me reconsider going was to keep an eye on Bragnae, but Maxwell and Bertrand were there with her. And this was just a dinner. She’d be going back to her room once it was over. I’d make sure of it.

The Social Season was almost over, thank Christ. I’ve had just about enough of this crap. King Constantine had mentioned a few weeks ago that he’d be turning the throne over to Liam sooner than expected. So, Liam’s coronation was just a couple days away. He’d have his bride and he’d be king all at once.

I sighed thinking of it all. Everything would change, and I wasn’t sure I was ready for it. Most of all, I wasn’t ready for Liam to pick Bragnae. I just don’t know how I’d be able to handle seeing her on his arm, as queen, and walking around the palace. It would be incredibly painful.

I shunned those thoughts. I knew I’d have to revisit them later, but I didn’t want to think about that now. A part of me still had that inkling of hope that I’d get my chance to be with her, but every logical part of my mind screamed at me saying it would never happen. It couldn’t happen. Even if she wanted it. Liam wanted to be with her, and by the looks of it, she appeared to like him as well.

They had played a game of ring toss together earlier. She laughed, touched his arm, and smiled up at him with a twinkle in her eye. It was hard to watch, but it was important for me to see it. I needed a reminder of my status in this world. I'm a commoner. And I’m the prince’s best friend and confidant. I couldn’t let him down, and I definitely didn’t deserve an amazing woman like Bragnae. Not when Liam had a chance to be with her.

She’d make a great queen. Beautiful, kind, funny. She’d be an inspiration to the whole country, and frankly, we could use it. King Constantine and Queen Regina were regal and fair, but they’re also of a different time and generation. Once Liam takes the throne, the kingdom will be rejuvenated by his youth. And with Bragnae at his side, Cordonia will thrive. I have no doubt about that.

Shit. How’d I get back to this again? Frustrated with myself, I headed up to my room in the manor. I figured I’d get a work out in to relieve some of this stress, and be done in time to check on Bragnae before the end of the night. I changed clothes and headed downstairs to the gym.

Not speaking to Bragnae all day had thrown me off. I hardly recognized myself anymore. Since when did I rely on a woman to complete any part of me? I was convinced that Bragnae was some sort of mystical temptress. She cast a spell on me a long time ago, and I couldn’t get out of it. But I’m not sure I wanted to either. I’m so fucked up.

I kept my work out short. I did some cardio and worked on my legs a bit before heading back upstairs to my room. I showered and threw on some jeans and a t-shirt. I was going to find something to eat, but I decided to check on Bragnae first. Maybe she’d be up for a late night snack. Who knows? She eagerly joined me last night for a work out. Maybe I’d get lucky again.

As I approached her room, I heard a big thump on the floor followed by a shrill scream. I rushed to her door and turned the knob. Thankfully, it wasn’t locked. The room was dark, but my eyes were immediately drawn to activity near the bed. The full moon outside had illuminated the area just enough that I could see Tariq advancing on Bragnae.

He had her pinned against the foot of the bed. All I could see of Bragnae were her arms flailing about trying to push him off of her. Red hot anger surged through my entire body. It was the fuel that propelled me forward into the room. In three strides I was there.

I grabbed the collar of his shirt and flung him with force onto the floor where I proceeded to punch the ever living shit out of the prick. I gripped my hand around his hair to keep his head in place, straddling his chest as I worked him over.

Somehow, the bastard jabbed his hand into my ribs, which distracted me long enough for Tariq to toss me off of him.

“Drake, what are you doing in my room?” Tariq insisted. His words slurred a bit as he struggled to his feet. He reeked of alcohol.

“This is Bennett’s room, asshole.” I rose to my feet quickly not taking any chances. I gripped his shirt collar again and dragged him towards the door. “Don’t ever try this shit with Bennett again. If you do, you’ll regret it.”

“Lady Bragnae and I were having a private moment, and you interrupted us, you commoner filth,” he said as his eyes struggled to stay open. His nose and mouth were bleeding.

“Bullshit,” I said, shoving him up against the wall. He winced from the pain. Good. I hope it hurt like hell. “She doesn’t like you, and she doesn’t want you. Now, get the fuck out of here, and pray to God Liam doesn’t hang you by your balls in front of the entire court for forcing yourself on one of his suitors.”

Tariq tried to retort, but I opened the door and shoved him out before he could. I’d make sure he was handled later, but Bragnae came first. I needed to make sure she was okay. As long as I was with her, she was safe.

I paused to catch my breath before turning around. My body shook from the adrenaline rush.

“Drake,” Bragnae said softly. “Thank you.”

“It was nothing, Bennett.” I turned to face her. “I just had to make sure you were safe.” My eyes had adjusted to the dark room, so I could see things more plainly.

Bragnae stood there, one hand clutching the wooden post of her bed closest to the door. Her face frozen with a stunned expression, her body rigid. Her body…

In the midst of all the commotion, I hadn’t had a chance to look at her before now. Beating Tariq’s ass and making sure the threat was eliminated was my priority. Bragnae stood before me wearing only her bra and panties. They were hot pink with white lace.

My mouth went dry, my breath stilled. My eyes hungrily took in the sight of her, burning the image into my mind. I’d seen her in a bathing suit before, but this was different. It was more intimate. Her matching underwear left little to the imagination, and it taunted me like no other. Even having just wrestled with a belligerent man, the sight of Bragnae like this captivated me.

I felt a strain in my jeans. I realized we were in a dark, private room separated only by a few feet of space and a thin layer of fabric. She had to cover up. As much as I didn’t want her to, I couldn’t concentrate with her standing there almost naked.

“Um, Bennett,” I said, looking at her expectantly.

“What?” She asked genuinely. Did she really not know she was only in her underwear?

“You’re, uh, not wearing much.” Fuck that was awkward.

She looked down and gasped. “Oh, my God. I’m sorry.” I averted my gaze as she found the dress she wore earlier to slip on.

Because I’m apparently a creep and I couldn’t resist, I stole another glance at her as she pulled the dress up over her curves. The silvery glow of the moon framed her body as she moved. It felt like a dream seeing her like that. I briefly wondered why the lights were off. Maybe Tariq flipped them off predatorily, or perhaps she was getting ready for bed.

If she was getting ready for bed, was that what she slept in? I shuddered at the thought of such thin fabric covering her most precious of parts, and how easily it would be to rip them off or push to the side for easy access. I shook off the thought. Come on dickhead. She was just sexually harassed. Don’t think like that.

As soon as she was clothed again, I walked over to her – cautiously. “Did he hurt you?”

She swallowed as she looked up at me. “No. I was more scared than anything. He was awfully persistent, and surprisingly strong.”

Fucking prick. “What happened? Why was he in here?”

She took a deep breath. “I was changing out of my dress when he barged in. I was startled at first and told him to get out, but then he closed the door and turned off the lights. I grabbed a vase on the table there to defend myself, but he wacked it out of my hand, and cornered me between the bed post and mattress.”

I clenched my teeth thinking about the complete disrespect Tariq had for her. I’ll fucking kill him.

“If you hadn’t shown up… I don’t know what would have happened.” The frightened look on her face slayed me.

I wanted so badly to hold her to let her know she was safe and everything was okay. But she probably didn’t want that kind of affection right now after experiencing this ordeal. And I didn’t want her to think I was trying to make a move on her.

“I’m glad you’re okay… and safe. I should probably get going.” She needed to relax after this, and I didn’t want to keep her from that.

I had almost made it to the door when I felt her hand grab mine. “Drake, wait. Please don’t go.”

I turned to face her. The fear in her eyes a minute ago was now gone. Instead she looked up at me with the same intensity she did last night. I saw longing, desire. I felt it, too.

“Drake, I…” She took her hand from mine and let both of hers gently touch my chest. She slowly slid them down to my sides. I hissed a breath through my teeth as her hand grazed the spot where Tariq jabbed me earlier. “You’re hurt.”

“It’s fine, Bennett. Don’t worry about me.” If she kept touching me like that, I wouldn’t be able to control myself for much longer.

We looked at each other for another moment. Then, her fingers found the hem of my shirt and started to lift it up.

“Bennett,” I protested.

“Shhhh,” she told me with a gentle finger pressed against my lips. “I just want to see where he hurt you.” Her hands returned to the bottom of my shirt, and she slowly lifted it along with her hands up my torso.

My heart raced as I felt her warm hands slide against my skin. Apparently she wanted my shirt completely off because she didn’t just hold it up. Her hands persisted until the shirt cleared my head. And I was inclined to let it happen. I knew it was wrong, but curiosity got the best of me.

Her hands returned to my side. She looked up at me as her fingers brushed over the sensitive spot by my ribs. I drew in another sharp breath, and then her eyes trained to the spot. She delicately inspected it.

“I’m sure you’ll have a bruise there. Let me get some ice.” She toted off to the other side of the room to an ice bucket.

“Bennett, you don’t have to do that.” The space between us allowed me to breathe. Now was my chance to leave before I would do something I’d later regret. I was already tempting fate letting her take off my shirt. Knowing what she wore underneath that dress didn’t help the situation either.

Before I could reach for my shirt, she had returned with ice wrapped in a towel. “I do have to do this, Drake. You’re hurt, and it’s all because of me.” She gingerly placed the ice against my skin.

I hissed another breath. It fucking hurt. Any time there was a blow to a bone, it always hurt ten times worse than if it was on muscle. Goddamn it. I looked down at her seeing worry on her face. Instinctively, my hand covered hers – the one that wasn’t holding the ice. She had rested it on my chest.

“Hey, Bennett, look at me.” I waited until I saw those beautiful amber eyes. “None of this if your fault. You didn’t invite Tariq in here to force himself on you, and you damn sure didn’t make him punch me in the ribs.”

“I know, but…”

“But nothing. I came in here because you needed my help. And…” I swallowed knowing more words followed. They’d be coated with feelings. Feelings I hadn’t shared with her yet. “I wanted to protect you. I always want to protect you, and keep you close. I wish I had met you in some other way. Then, all of this would be different.” I hesitated for a moment to summon my courage for the rest. “I… I care about you, Bragnae. … A lot.”

My chest tightened as I held my breath waiting for her response. I couldn’t believe I just said that, but it felt wrong not to. The soft light in the room was just enough to see the candor in her eyes.

“I care about you, too, Drake.” She leaned in closer than she already was. “So much.”

“You do?” I could hardly believe my own ears.

“Yes,” she said softly, dropping the towel of ice to the ground. Her hands slid up my chest and looped around my neck. Her body pressed tightly to mine. “I want to be with you.”

Now I was in shock. I stared at her in disbelief. “You… you want to… be with me?”

Bragnae nodded as she simultaneously stood on her toes and pulled me in until our mouths connected. Her full lips felt soft against mine as we shared a tender and slow kiss that made my heart swell. I had waited what felt like an eternity to kiss her, never believing it would actually happen. It was the most incredible kiss I’d ever experienced.

She sank back to flat-footing again peering up at me. I was in a daze, and happy as a fucking clam. “I never thought I’d ever get to kiss you.”

“And now that you have?” She asked in a whisper.

“I want more.”

The look in her eyes told me she did too. Like a ravenous animal, I spun her around pushing her against the door as I took her mouth in a deep, wanting kiss. She returned it with the same vigor as I had. God, it was exhilarating. It felt so good to kiss her, to feel her body pressed up against mine.

Her hands ran through my hair, gripping and pulling at it as I worked my tongue through her parted lips, finding hers in a tangle of need. My hands didn’t know where they wanted to explore first. Part of me was still stunned that I was even doing this, and the other part was calling for a Code Red. This wasn’t a drill, it was real. It was everything I’d fantasized about, but more. My imagination didn’t even come close to what it actually felt like to touch or kiss her. It was so much better.

The little moans that escaped her throat drove me wild. I pressed into her more feeling my dick harden. And that’s when my fucking conscience decided to take over. Liam’s face flashed in my mind prompting me to pull back, but not enough that I left her embrace.

I took a second to catch my breath. Her lips were swollen from the kiss. She was fucking irresistible. “We shouldn’t.” I looked at her with pleading eyes hoping she would agree. I wasn’t strong enough. Not anymore. I needed her to tell me to leave because I couldn’t on my own.

“What are you afraid of, Drake?” She asked, still panting.

I raised my hand to stroke the side of her cheek. “Not being able to stop.”

“I don’t want you to.” Before I had a chance to think, she stood on her toes again and pulled me in for another kiss. This one with a fiery energy that awakened my soul.

I gave in to her, and it felt incredible. She wanted this, too, apparently just as much as I did. There was no way I could stop even though in the back of my brain the thought of Liam kept trying to change my mind.

I ran my hands down her body, lifting her up against the door so our faces were at the same height. She moaned against my mouth as we continued our fury of kisses. I nestled myself between her legs, grinding my hips into hers. Another moan from her made my dick harder than it’s ever been.

I pressed myself against her not giving a fuck if she felt the raging boner she gave me. Hell, I wanted her to feel it. At least this way, there was no mistaking how I felt for her. Where my words might get muddled up or betray me, my dick could stand hard and long against her letting Bragnae know my true feelings.

I wasn’t going to fuck her against the wall. Not for our first time. It needed to be special. It needed to be on a bed. So, I pulled her away from the door, and carried her over to the four-post bed and dropped us down on it. We situated our bodies more evenly on the mattress, not once breaking our connected lips.

On our sides, I pulled Bragnae closer to me, breathing in her sweet scent. Her body warm against mine. It was as if our mouths were designed for each other. They fit so perfectly together.

I slid my hand from her calf to her thigh, hooking her silky, smooth leg over my hips to bring her even closer. Bragnae pushed herself off the mattress and onto me, landing my shoulders flat against the bed. I fucking loved when a woman took charge. Fuck yes.

She hovered over me, not quite resting her body on mine as she seized my mouth for another round of hearty kisses. My hands found the back of her thighs roaming up and over her ass, bringing the skirt of her dress up as I gave her cheeks a generous squeeze.

My dick throbbed as it begged to be released from its denim captivity. My hips involuntarily thrusted up towards her. I needed to feel the weight of her body on me. On my dick. God, I needed that.

My hands continued up her body and found the zipper of her dress. I pulled it down as much as I could before she finally rested herself on me. The warmth of her core heating my hips distracted me from my task. I badly needed to readjust my dick, and get it out of my pants.

As if she heard my thoughts, Bragnae sat up running her hands slowly down my bare chest until they reached my belt. The top of her dress had loosened, and the way she sat prompted the straps of the dress and her bra to slide off her shoulder. Her hair fell forward in her face as she concentrated on undoing my belt.

I caressed her toned thighs as she popped open the button to my jeans and lifted her pelvis to pull my zipper down. I groaned as her fingers grazed my dick, which made her lean in for another hungry kiss. She hovered over me again, so I reached between us to pull my dick up and against my pelvis. It was much more comfortable this way and easier to pop out when she was ready. I kept it tucked beneath my briefs for now.

While my hand lingered in the area, I boldly decided to rub my fingers over her satin panties. I desperately needed to feel her. I wanted to know how wet she was. I rested my palm against her mound and let my fingers dance over her heat. Her panties were indeed wet. Fuck. I could come now just knowing I made her this way.

Bragnae broke our kiss to release a trembling moan. “Oh, Drake.”

God, I loved when she said my name. My fingers inched their way to slip inside her panties, but she moved away, resting herself on my hips instead. A tiny bit of panic set in. Maybe she didn’t want to go that far tonight. Fuck. I hoped she didn’t think I was rushing her. Maybe we shouldn’t even do this. How would I explain this to Liam?

My goddamn conscience spoke up again as I gently pushed her away. “Bennett, maybe we shouldn’t…”

She silenced me with another kiss. “Drake, relax. It’s okay. We’ll just keep it PG-13 for tonight,” she said before pulling my jeans further down my hips. Bragnae straddled me again, shifting her body until my erection sat perfectly between her legs. She grinded her still concealed pussy against my dick slowly keeping her eyes locked on mine the whole time. I let out a shuddering groan reveling in the heat and delightful pressure from her molten core.

I actually preferred the ‘Rated R’ version of this, but maybe it was best to keep skin contact out of it. At least until we figured this out. I had no idea where we’d go from here. We had definitely crossed a line and there was no going back. All I knew in that moment was that I didn’t want this to stop.

Bragnae moved her hips up the length of my shaft one time before resting at the base of my dick again. I shuddered with anticipation. Her hands propped on my chest as she stared down at me. Her gorgeous hair falling in her face again. She shimmied completely out of her dress straps, letting the fabric pool around her stomach. The pink and white bra made its appearance again. This time I was close enough to see it… and touch it, rather the ample breasts it supported.

Her nipples were hard and visible. I licked my lips wanting them in my mouth – at the very least between my fingers. Bragnae removed my hands from the sides of her hips and placed them over her breasts. I cupped and kneaded them immediately making her tilt her head back and close her eyes. She looked like an angel.

She was too far away. I sat up and captured her lips with my own before kissing down her neck and then to the curves of her chest. With one of my hands supporting her lower back, I focused the other on slowly pushing the fabric away from her right breast. I kissed every inch of bared skin that I exposed until I found the taut bud at the peak of her curves with my mouth.

Her head fell back even more as a whimpering moan left her body. I massaged the fullness of her breast as my tongue flicked her nipple back and forth several times. She must have enjoyed it because her hips started grinding against me again. Her breathing grew ragged while her fingers ran lazily through my hair. It felt so good to hold her like this. I desperately wished to be inside her.

“That feels so good, Drake,” she said softly. Her eyes still closed.

My dick twitched reminding me not to forget about him. Bragnae’s hips moved slowly against my shaft, but I needed more. As much as I wanted to dedicate more time to lavishing her chest with my mouth, I kissed my way up to hers again, bringing the attention back to our lower halves.

My hands found her hips, and together we moved her body against mine. Bragnae picked up the pace, propelling herself up and down my length, massaging it with heat and determination.

I blew out a breath on my way to losing control. “Fuck. That feels incredible.”

“Yes, it d—… yes,” she said, moving her hips even faster. She looped an arm around my neck, keeping her face close to mine. When we weren’t sharing unbalanced, breathy kisses, we were looking into each other’s eyes. It enhanced the experience considerably.

I tightened my grip around her lower back, pulling her against me more. Her mouth fell open and quivered, still grinding her hot pussy over my very eager dick. I used the strength in my forearms to help her move faster.

“Right there, Drake. Please don’t stop.” What a sweet sound it was to hear Bragnae beg me to keep her on track to coming.

“I won’t.” She was so sexy. I loved that she knew what she wanted. Too many times I’d be with a girl who was too timid to tell me where to guide my fingers or what position they preferred to get off. It was exhausting always being the one to have to make all the decisions or first moves.

She squeezed my shoulder. I knew she was close. I kissed her briefly once more before watching the satisfaction unfold on her face.

“Ohmigod,” she panted just before releasing the most beautiful and sensuous cry of pleasure I’d ever heard. Her eyes fluttered shut and her head fell back as she reveled in her newly found bliss.

My imagination didn’t do this moment justice either. To say it was a privilege to watch Bragnae have an orgasm would be an understatement. I was insanely turned on watching her come, especially since I was the one who helped her get there.

As she recovered from her release, I kept a steady, but less intense pace than before knowing she’d be a little sensitive. I was close too. I needed her to move a little faster, but I’d wait.

A few seconds later, Bragnae used her weight to get me to lie back on the bed. She leaned in for another show-stopping kiss before setting a new pace to help me find mine. My hands flew to her hips again pushing and pulling her over my dick. It was feeling really good.

Soon, I felt a tightening in my balls as I approached the edge of all my desires. As if she knew to make the moment even better, Bragnae kissed me again, catching my bottom lip between her teeth. I gritted my teeth and exhaled a long groan, finally finding the release I’d been waiting for since the moment I laid eyes on Bragnae at the bar in New York. It gave me the relief and satisfaction I only dreamed of having.

I really would have loved to feel her from the inside, but at least this ended with both of us coming, and that was fine by me. She rested her cheek against my chest for another minute while she caught her breath. I wrapped my arms around her as I enjoyed the warmth and weight of her body on mine.

“I’m glad we did that, Drake. I know it was unexpected, and it’s certainly not becoming of one of Prince Liam’s suitors, but I couldn’t wait anymore.” She raised her head to look at me. “I hope you don’t regret it.”

I cupped her face with my hand. “No. I wanted that as much as you did. But we do have to figure this out.”

She smiled. “We will.” She dipped down to kiss me again. “We’re heading to Ramsford tomorrow. My home turf. Maybe we can find more time to talk then.”

“Sure, Bennett. I’d like that.” I took a moment longer to look at her. She had a relaxed, sexy glow about her that I’d never seen before. And I couldn’t wait to see it again.

[bloojayoolie]

Community, Complex, and Drunk: found there's something to be said when it comes to the euphoria of making a name for oneself. On the same tangent, in blinding, intoxicating, and therefore dulling experience to make even a subtle attempt at ambition. age of quickly-developing fandoms and communities, it can be a Recency makes for an easily-served statement, thus enters the Discord server as a prime exemplar of community rabble. In just about any server above a population of thirty (and especially in those that have reached the hundreds), some beg for moderator capabilities, some grovel at the feet of those already capable and simply pray that appearing kind will do them in, some are just fine friends apable of sustaining their ego with an achromatic tag, and even less than these some listed combined are actual mods. I have borne witness to profound misinterpretation of self image (or perhaps plain shamelessness) in the form of what I deem an offense: beginning one's tag with an exclamation point. This moves their name up on the sideline which the many non-mods share, and grants them exposure. Any exposure is good exposure, no? No. These happy few fools who attempt to climb atop a wobbly pedestal show themselves off to none. They aren't behind any podium, as much as they may be wishing as much (l assume). They're standing on a stepping-stool to try to get their head above a crowd. What does the act accomplish? It disrupts the view of of the audience behind them, while simultaneously inspiring others to make themselves equally worthy of censure. They do not appear clever nor sneaky Ready for the ultimate offense? Not only do those of low server status use the ladder trick, but mods have commit to true criminal act by arbitrarily putting an exclamation point (and, I note, a space) at the beginning of their name. The character l've brought into question will not be named, but will be further elaborated orn My encounters in this matter occurred beginning in March of 2018, when, by the influence of a wave of wistful affection, I joined the Discord server for Avatar: The Last Airbender (and The Legend of Korra, for those who feel I'm inclined to include). I led a relatively low-profile first month or so before becoming involved in the roleplay community which, as of both then and now, is very small. In terms of the status that could be gained within the server itself, there were several mods - called the White Lotus - only about three of which ever did a thing at all (to add credibility, allow me to note that two of those several have since left the server entirely, one continues to claim to be a "lurker", the owner has not spoken since the dawn of time, and the most prevalent moderator of them all has stepped down) edit Some months (I don't recall just how many) after my joining of the main server and the creation of our roleplay, it was moved to a smaller separate server becaus The stage's players had met one another, and needed no more. True, we had friends within the server itself (which we did n emorse, regret, or sentimentality to go around post-exodus Now, follow this closely: in September of the same year, four new members were added to a new role just below the role of the White Lotus, called Sentries, bringing their total up to six. One truth, the Avatar server had served. ave), but they were scarce, as was activity, and so there was little (edited) em has stepped down in favor of remaining a simple community member. Favorable. One has lost the role ! A"). Another was also demoted for reasons unknown to me. Those that remain? Two of the server's longest lasting members, both known very well for their presenc server leve asons l've yet to even check (I'm grateful, too. Never will I forgive one willing to go by around and with very high a resu Il get to that and one who joined after the prime of my era within the server who l've yet to meet. There's cause for admonition in I the prior facts. Firstly, that one (or more) is so power-drunk and/or blind that they are fully willing to give two that do more work than them, who have absolute power, a role with less control than main moderators is worthy of more reprimand than l've time What I'm about to say about the third of the remaining Sentries is based on no knowledge of t of the nametag tab, they begin their name with an exclamation. A moderator. With an a take to not even notice something so incredibly pointless? Borderline obnoxious? I get frustrated just looking at it. Yet, still, I don't know them. ir personality. All I know is that, despite being one of three and already having a place at the top tion complex. Is it not enough to have earned the e owned by few others? What sort of intoxication does it e run out of time, so on gain XP that went towards their t note on the man who spawned my condemnation for server status-seeking. Every minute, when a server member would say anything within a text chat, they would I. Gaining levels granted a user more roles, therefore heightening some virtual (and utterl sive) prestige. Also after my prime, a man joined the server and soon found himself slaving every waking hour trying to get higher on the leaderboard; a leaderboard which, I might add, required a user to open a link off of Discord and view in browser, so very separate and far less immediate than the nametag-standings imbroglio. The man climbed. He climbed very high, very fast, much f statistic. The value which meant nothing outside of a 500 person 9096 inactive server. On a gaming communication platform. One can only guess why it mattered to him. Perhaps he thought he was making a name for himsel r than I had. I had many doubts of the quality of is real life as a result of how often I saw him checking his level. His I. The cosmeti After a conflict over poor word choice -may l addt member of the White Lotus, the aforementioned lurker, my pinnacle of uselessness. He appeared to inform the man work for a ghost town, a husk with high authorities that think they mean something, and there was his repayment. His justice. it was not the fellow in question's word choice, but rather the temper of his response to another's- he found himself being contacted by a t he was being threatened with a ban, and would receive a mute. All t hard Where is he now? Not in the White Lotus. Not in the Sentries. Not in the chats on the Avatar: The Last Airbender server. Certainly not at the top of any of their leaderboards at edited) March 7, 2019 Awesome Eli Today at 6:44 AM once Lord is the second-highest rank on the server