#stephenie meyer can suck it

[riverofempathy]

Jessica Stanley and Bella Swan (and Angela Weber)

[quadrantadvisor]

Was desperate enough to use the search function to find posts about The Host by Stephenie Meyer and I just wanted to say, I love your takes and I agree with everything.

The love square never made sense. Jared and Melanie were impossible to root for because the sole basis of their love was that Melanie felt safe with him and Melanie was the last woman on Earth to Jared, and then neither of those things turn out to be true so all they have is intense sexual chemistry. And especially in contrast to Ian and Wanda, how and why am I supposed to care about them? And there is no reason for Wanda to love Jared. I get her falling in love with him through Melanie’s memory of him, but the reality ought to have shattered that illusion for both of them IMO. Especially for Melanie, because he’d rather scream at and hit her body rather than even entertain the hope she might be in there. Sure, he protects it from other humans, but then he abuses it, so that’s not in fact protection; it’s possession.

The gender bioessentialism never made sense. Sure, Wanda’s in a female body and can make the choice to reproduce, which is super cool. But given that her sense of gender hinges on that ability to reproduce and given that that ability is super rare, why would other Souls gender themselves? I think being agender or someone who just didn’t give a damn about pedantic human gender roles would have been super interesting for Wanda’s character and I think it would have added more dimension to her and Ian’s relationship. He barely had to struggle with the fact that the body she was in belonged to an attractive cisgender girl and he was a cishet man, in spite of Meyer’s weak attempts to call that into question. The gender question might have thrown him for more of a loop.

Contrast that to Jared’s very comphet interpretation of his relationship with Melanie, and ooh baby, we’ve got a stew!

Also would have liked more exploration on ethics in general. Why do the Souls care about the well-being of the organisms on the Fire Eater planet but not on Earth? Instead of stopping from eating them, do they steal their bodies too? And the humans killing other humans in an attempt to save them: Is it okay to murder them if they’re the ones doing the murdering, like before?

Sorry for the long ask. I just have a lot of thoughts. Please feel free to block and ignore if this is too weird. Genuinely no intention to bother or offend and I’m sorry if I have.

Oh man I'm always ready to rant about The Host with people!

Yeah I feel like Meyer thought she was saying something really deep about human nature and the way that our instincts drive us? And there is something there, like, your body having a reaction to another person and that affecting your behavior is interesting! In my opinion she just went WAY too far with it, and it makes the characters seem unrealistic and childish. The ways that both Melanie and Wanderer act around Jared are bizarre (this may partially be my ace spectrum talking but like, c'mon.) Jared just kinda sucks, also. The whole idea that there's this inherent magnetism between MEN and WOMEN and that that physical attraction is the most important thing in the world is so heteronormative and amatonormative and uncomfortable

And the book was SO CLOSE to having an interesting take on gender! Examing the genders and/or lack thereof of a body-snatching alien species could be so fun! There's even the mention of the alien species with three genders, and talking about their family structures. You would think that something like that would indicate a more expansive view on gender, but really it's just an extrapolation of more bioessentialism. Because that species has those biological sexes, their families MUST be steucturedin this way, because that's what's natural for them. There's no room for variability or different sorts of feelings. She completely equates gender with biology, even when that biology is being coopted by a hitchhiker.

You're so right about Ian and Wanderer, I would love more examinations of how different she is from humans, including in a gender sense, and them having to deal with that as a part of their relationship. Setting up Jared as someone very entrenched in social norms and Ian as a foil to him in that way sounds really interesting!

Soul society and ethics are SO fascinating. I do sincerely think that Meyer is an compelling fantasy and sci fi world builder, if nothing else.

It's late and I feel like I'm a little incoherent but I love getting to chat about this book, it's so infuriating but so fun, now I want to read it again.

[aconstantstateofbladerunner]

Is there a story you despise but whose worldbuilding you like?

Bro so many. I could never list all of them if I tried. Part of what fascinates me about bad books is seeing the lost potential and reverse engineering better stories in my own imagination.

Short list:

I love everything about the dragons of A Song of Ice and Fire. Don’t actually despise the series, a lot of it is very good, it’s just not my cup of tea. But the dragons, man. Nuclear bombs that are your pets. Special but subtle magic bonds. No matter how close those bonds are, no one can ever fully control them. They never stop growing. The implication that they aren’t naturally occurring animals and were in fact created artificially via lost magic. The weird fucked up cultural practices that developed believing it would keep them connected to dragons. The implication that that magic wiped out the empire that created them because they were never satisfied with their already unmatched power.

Bad YA book called Shiver about werewolves whose transformations were tired to temperature as opposed to the moon or their emotions. Shame the book around that interesting concept sucks ass.

The lore of Genshin Impact is super interesting. There used to be tones of gods but most died off in a war with each other. The surviving gods each have a country that they exercise varying degrees of control over, some ruling directly, some indirectly, some just kind of being around. Each country’s culture is shaped by its god’s values and personal hang ups. The gods nuked one atheist country into oblivion. The gods let a handful of designated cool people have elemental powers if they want them bad enough. My personal headcanon is that it’s only socially acceptable to dress differently from the norm when you are a designated cool person, explaining the incredibly drag copy-pasted npcs. Used to play the game but realized I wasn’t having fun, i was doing busywork so i could earn gambling points, so I stopped.

Stephenie Meyer’s The Host is about a race of body-snatching aliens who travel the universe “peacefully” conquering planets and “improving” the cultures of their hosts. One host ends up not being fully dead when a new alien is inserted and so the alien learns that taking people’s free will is bad. Genuinely fantastic sci-fi premise that could have opened the doors for a critique of colonialism and assimilation, or just a fun romp, but because it’s from the author of Twilight all the attention goes towards a love triangle/trapezoid that’s also deeply uncomfortable.

[wonielvr]

[twilight] – kim taerae

"there's no way you're reading that book again! do you not get tired of the same inaccurate scenarios that are written by someone who clearly has never seen a vampire in their life?" taerae joked the moment he saw you reading the book 'twilight' again.

"wait, wait, go back a little. what do you mean by 'inaccurate'?" your confusion was so audible within the sentence it made him chuckle cutely and break into a smirk.

"come here," he said ironically, because in less the a moment he already grabbed you by your thighs and back, and lifted you up gently, just like you hold a baby.

that moment felt like eternity when your eyes locked with taeraes' and his lips widened, revealing a majestic dimple on his chubby cheeks, even though it was barely even a second. damn him and the super speed he acquired when he became a vampire.

"can I?" he asked while pointing at a spot just under your ear, right where the carotid arteries are placed. It visibly made you worry. taerae never bit you before, you always changed subjects in fear that something bad will happen.

"i know you're worried, I'm sorry. I'll never mention that again, please forget that."

"no, it's okay. I do want to try, I'm just a little scared."

"do you want me to try your hand first? I promise it'll go by fast and won't leave a scar."

"okay."

he slowly took your palm in his and lifted it to his face. the closer he got to you the harder your eyes closed, hoping that by not looking the pain will not be as scary. of course taerae noticed that, he sees everything, constantly glaring at you, studying you.

"It's okay, we'll do it anothe-" he started when he noticed you slightly shivering, until he was stopped by you.

"bite. now."

and so he did. he was unsurprisingly right. about two things, actually. one: it did not leave a mark, and two: twilight books are, in fact, nothing like reality (which you figured when you opened your eyes while taerae was doing his thing and you didn't feel a thing. suck that miss Stephenie Meyer.)

[adamsvanrhijn]

I don't really know if either John or Oscar fit the bill for a Twilight vampire, although I'm not so familiar with the Twilight lore to say for sure... Aren't there werewolves in it too? Oscar definitely strikes me as a more classical vampire physically speaking but I could see a vampire!John being a thing too. But for some reason the thought of Oscar climbing on John to suck his blood is so funny!!

I think that is a beautiful concept and I need to craft a universe in my head wherein Oscar is a vampire and John is not to accommodate it... has not been my approach thus far. They have both been the vampire!! & part of a thriving upper class new york vampire community

With you that John doesn't like, scream vampire necessarily but no problem envisioning him as one... Anon who said he vibes with Buffy vampires was on to something

Oscar has the lithe elegant high contrast Look though for sure... !

Aaaand discussion of Twilight (namely racism inherent to Twilight & how its vampires operate in the Twilight universe) under the cut

Ok I do want to preface Any discussion of Twilight-the-series with, it and the lore within is developed from a very specific set of values which are rooted in the author's cultural background (LDS) and associating prejudice, namely racism and misogyny. UNFORTUNATELY I was obsessed with the series for pretty much the duration of my tween years so I have a lot of knowledge about it.

Which is to say: defining anything as "fitting the bill for a Twilight vampire" necessarily requires "aligning that thing with Stephenie Meyer's racism". Key example: there indeed Are werewolves in Twilight! That, out of narrative, Meyer made up as being part of the culture of a real life Pacific Northwest indigenous tribe without research or consultation with any members of that culture and did so relying heavily on stereotypes of Native Americans, and, in narrative, exist because of a magical response to the presence of vampires (white vampires - most of the book vampires are white) threatening said indigenous community. Ultimately results in tolerance of vampires by the indigenous community, so I assume authorial intent was not to like, craft a meaningful metaphor about colonization, except then it turns out there actually are other werewolves in the universe that are different from the rest of the werewolves and better align with traditional werewolf lore so who the fuck knows. Extremely poor execution if so. Generally the books position the vampires over the wolves as more reasonable & righteous with more weight given to the vampire experience, in-universe because Bella is the main character and in love with a vampire

But. There aren't really Qualifications to be a Twilight vampire and the majority of the Twilight vampire ~lore is similar to other vampire fiction, the primary exceptions being the non-harmful glitter response to sunlight, having venom that can be extracted, being able to fully subsist on animal blood, and to some extent magically becoming more beautiful and attractive once you are made a vampire although I think that shows up in plenty of other vampire fiction, too. Also you keep your human soul and personality and are not inherently evil

The latter is a key difference from Buffy the Vampire Slayer vampires, where your human soul and personality are lost to the ether (though can be restored with ~Magic) and a vampire demon takes over your dead body.

[patricia-von-arundel]

I'm pretty sure there should be international laws against putting Dan Brown on the same list of historical fiction writers as Anthony Doerr and Hilary Mantel. That's a war crime.

I was going to whine about Philippa Gregory for the same reason, but as much as I dislike her books, she is MILES AND MILES AND MILES better than the fucking hack who lies about the historical accuracy of his own books. Dan Brown is a TERRIBLE WRITER. Not even "okay, this is bad, but it's entertaining." I'd rather read Stephenie Meyer and nothing else for a year before I'd suffer through Dan Brown again.

Dan Brown sucks.

Not an opinion. Objectively, he is an awful writer who also does awful research. (Or "research," since I have doubts he actually does any beyond poking around Wikipedia until he finds some place and time and probably religion he can butcher.)

(Having studied medieval history, Dan Brown better hope I'm never in the same location he is, no matter how public the venue, because I will punch him in the face.)

Anyway, list is here.

Fuck you, Brown.

[f-ferrari-forever]

Thank you Elle (@il-predestinato) for tagging me! Loved the Audie photo btw, she’s definitely giving Charles a run for his money on who is the most adorable wearing that Monaco cap.

1. Are you named after anyone?

Not that I know of, although my parents wanted it to be bit of an uncommon name. Fast forward to elementary school, there was girl in my class with the same name. Fast forward to now, turns out it’s a pretty darn popular name in a different part of the country. Oh well...

2. When was the last time you cried? 

Oh boy...Uhm, let’s just say that last month has been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster at work, but it’s all good now, at least I hope it is. 

On the other hand, I also teared up a little yesterday while reading one of the new entries in the Lestappen tag. I’d rec it here, but the author doesn’t want it shared outside AO3. Nevertheless, you’ll find it in the tag quite easily I think.

3. Do you have kids? 

Nope. Think I might want one eventually, but definitely not any time soon.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

It usually comes out the strongest when I’m pissed off, and when it does...let’s just say I’m not anybody’s bestie then 😅. 

5. What sports do you play/have you played?

I have a confession to make...I’m a bit like our beloved boys Maxy and Charlie when it comes to sports (that may also include driving, but I hope I can fix that soon). I did try dance for a hot minute, but I kind of/sort sucked at it. What else? Oh right, had one swimming class before I caught pneumonia. Fun times.

6. What's the first thing you notice about other people?

I have a bit of a sweet spot for fashion, so definitely how they’re dressed. Charlie baby, I’m definitely judging you.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Definitely happy endings. Although recently I’ve been the tiniest bit more exposed to scary movies. I still think they suck though.

8. Any special talents?

Definitely not. Although I’m going to take a page out of Elle’s book and say that at least I am fully aware about things I suck at. Self-conscious, right? That can easily slip into underestimating yourself, but that’s a another story...

9. Where were you born?

Romania, my frenemy, the land of choice. King Charles apparently likes it here. If only it were a different Charles...ahem.

10. What are your hobbies?

Reading, writing, watching silly little sports about silly little tax-evading men and down-right abusive federations and coaches who exploit their athletes...also spending time with the people I love. Balance, right? 

11. Do you have any pets?

I do! Two kitties and one dog. But they’re not as cool as Audie!

12. How tall are you?

164 cm, and I am very adamant that it’s 164, not 163, okay? Also, I have no idea how inches work. 

13. Fave subject in school?

It would have been Math if I had had less...Russian coaches like teachers (to a much more smaller scale, but still). English definitely, and I guess also Romanian (but our literature is...not the most entertaining and my teachers were weird).

14. Dream job?

I’m starting more and more to realise that it’s being a university professor. Which is a bit of bummer financially, and also it doesn’t help that in my field and in my country it’s generally perceived that only people who fail in the industry turn to academia. But I really like working with students and helping them succeed.

15. Eye colour?

I’m going to step away from the poop joke and instead use the Stephenie Meyer description of chocolate brown ✌🏻. 

Tagging: @xiaoluclair, @alestire, @pressradio, @coconutshygame, @the-last-jedis, @dnfstrategist, @just-an-inchident, @karlmarxverstappen if any of you guys want to this or haven't been tagged already!

[justagalwhowrites]

Hello, me again bestie.

This ask is a little different than my usual though.

I will be spending several hours on a plane tomorrow. This is where I wish I had some self-control and didn't read everything the minute it's posted. I will definitely be finishing Beskar Doll. I'm soooo sorry it's taken me forever. Don't get me wrong I love Din but he definitely takes a back seat to Joel.

Anyways, back to the point of my ask before I started rambling. By the time I board tomorrow I will have finished all of my ARC reads and my TBR is way too overwhelming to even know where to begin. So I'm wondering if you have any book recs? If you have any fic recs that are long enough to keep me occupied most of the trip I will take those too.

I hope you have a great day!

Hi Bestie!

Omg please do not apologize for not finishing one of my fics lol I’m just thrilled you read them at all!! I hope you love it!!

As for book recs, I’ve been really into Taylor Jenkins-Reid this year. I read Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo in a day and Daisy Jones and the Six in two, I just couldn’t put them down! I’m also a sucker for anything by Gillian Flynn, Sharp Objects in particular. I read Corinne by Rebecca Morrow in like a day, too. Also really good, about a woman finding herself as she leaves a borderline cult religious group.

Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk is another favorite. Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng, American Gods by Neil Gaiman, Neverwhere (also Neil Gaiman), Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. Loathe as I am to suggest Rowling to anybody but the first few books of her Cormoran Strike series (under the pen name Robert Galbraith) are great if you can get a ✨free✨ download to not spend any money because fuck that woman (I haven’t read the last few because fuck that woman and also apparently no one reels her in during editing anymore and the recent ones reportedly sucked.) If you are/were a Twilight girlie, Stephenie Meyer’s The Chemist (it’s a thriller for adults) is somewhat addictive!

For non-fiction, the Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama was a fascinating read, especially in the context of a post-insurrection world. Anything by Jon Krakauer - Missoula in particular but I also did a huge paper for a capstone project in college on SA so grain of salt and all the trigger warnings. I also go through phases of being really into random historical things and I read a fascinating book on Chernobyl a few years ago that I think about often (Chernobyl by Serhii Plokhy). Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich made me want to become a journalist and I adored Waiting: True Confessions of a Waitress by Debra Ginsberg. Candy Girl by Diablo Cody was also great.

Sorry, I know that’s a lot!!! I hope some sound interesting and that you have a fabulous trip, bestie!!! Love you!

[adamwatchesmovies]

Vampires Suck (2010)

While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...

While Vampires Suck is an improvement over Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer's previous collaborations, this almost makes it worse. There are legitimately funny moments sprinkled here and there in this “Twilight” parody but just when your hopes begin to rise just a little bit, you’re hit with a deluge of groan-inducing pop-culture references, juvenile gags, unimaginative would-be jokes and farts.

Becca Crane (Jenn Proske, doing a good job lampooning Kristen Stewart’s character) moves to Sporks to live with her father, Sheriff Frank (Diedrich Bader). At school, she meets and is immediately smitten by Edward Sullen (Matt Lanter) whom she slowly (very slowly) deduces is a vampire. When he admits his affection for her, they try to build a relationship but how could a blood-sucking monster love a teenage girl?

In the above summary, you can spot one clever touch from the pair responsible for such 0-zero gems as Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans. “Edward Sullen” is pretty spot-on. “Becca Crane”? Not so much. At least it isn’t flat-out unfunny like so many of the film's torturously long scenes. If the film constantly found new ways to be bad it might be entertaining in a demented way, but that threshold is never reached. Most often, the jokes we get are the most obvious you could’ve made. It's as if the writer/directors committed to making the movie without any decent ideas, which is why Vampires Suck gets distracted from its subject matter and instead subjects us to people pretending to be the cast of Jersey Shore, Lady Gaga in a weird costume, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (at least that one's appropriate) and more. Of course, the directors assume you’re an idiot so every joke is spelled-out for you. If you have to explain why it’s funny… it probably isn’t funny.

If all the worthwhile moments in Vampires Suck were stitched together, you’d probably get about 5-minutes’ worth of footage - that's rounding up. It’s a testament to the true incompetence of the filmmakers because the movie doesn’t even parody the entire Twilight series. It stops at Eclipse (which was released the same year) and for this, there’s no excuse. Say what you will about the films based on Stephenie Meyer’s series. I’ve heard people make compelling arguments for the first one and I’ll take it over Fallen, After, Beastly, Red Riding Hood, and the other imitators. Even the most hardcore Twihards must admit what happens in Breaking Dawn is so utterly bizarre it naturally lends itself to jokes. The books were already out when this film was being made. There’s no reason for this spoof NOT to cover what would’ve taken place after Eclipse but instead, we get a non-ending. Were they expecting us to sit through another one of these? @$#%# me.

When your parody of the movie isn’t even as funny as the original, you’ve got problems. Do you want some laughs? Here’s what I recommend you do. Watch the original Twilight and then, do some digging. There’s a little-known, super-cheap, thoroughly incompetently-made knockoff called The Last Vampire on Earth. Watching those two films back-to-back brought my friends and me to tears. As for Vampires Suck, I laughed at Magicwandos' song My Panties but not much else. (On DVD, August 2, 2019)

[fuckyeahilike]

One of the things people will say about straights - and I swear that this is true - is that they shouldn’t talk about what it’s like to be gay or from the gay perspective, but just sit down and listen to what gays themselves have to say about their own experiences. No straight actor should be allowed to play gay, no straight author should write about an experience that is so personal and that they can not know anything about. Ok.

But then fanfic writers and their readers break this rule all the time. Almost all fanfiction is written by women and much of it is about gay love. So, professional straight authors should stay in their lane, while amateurs give themselves permission to do whatever they like. Rules for thee, not for me, apparently.

But let us by all means imagine what would have happened if Stephenie Meyer had included gay couples in her novels. I think it's self-explanatory. If you see the disgusting way that she has been accused of being a racist for writing about the Quileute in a positive way, and including them in her story instead of erasing them like actual racists always do, it’s pretty clear that she would also have been saddled with the accusation of homophobia... because the point is always that women shouldn't write books.

That is why she is being accused of homophobia regardless, even though she has kept gay characters out of her books. It’s the witch’s trials all over again, where you’re damned if you sink and you’re damned if you swim. That is why male authors don’t go through this. She is guilty of being a woman in public, visible in society instead of being at home, closed in a closet, wearing a burka, thinking about her sins.

Misogynists will be sexist, nothing about this should come as a surprise. But it still sucks that Radblr has no words of support to say in favor of one of America’s most prestigious and most successful female authors of her generation, even though Radblr is supposed to be about supporting women, and even though Smeyer has been relentlessly persecuted just like JK Rowling, often having her books burned in the same pyre.

Stuff like this is how I know that Radblr is about right-wing transphobia and not about feminism. An online group that defends people like Andrea Dworkin (who, it must be once again reiterated, advocated for incest and bestiality) but not Stephenie Meyer who is a Progressive anti-colonialist and feminist; a group that doesn’t see the point in praising a woman whose life exemplifies what giving women equal opportunities in education and in work can achieve... nor sees the point in protecting her when she is met with the inevitable sexist persecution that such women always attract, such a group is not exactly invested in securing more equality and dignity for women. They’re just misandrists wasting everybody’s time.

[galerymod]

Disturbing Art Exhibitions

Where do the legends of vampires come from ethnologically?

The legends of vampires have a long history and can be traced back to various cultures, including ancient civilizations in Europe, the Middle East, and the Balkans. Some of the earliest accounts of vampire-like creatures can be found in Babylonian, Sumerian, and Akkadian mythology. The belief in vampires also has roots in folklore, with tales of blood-sucking creatures being passed down through generations. Over time, the idea of the vampire evolved and was influenced by different cultures, eventually leading to the portrayal of vampires as we know them today in literature and popular culture.

In which cultures are there similar legends of vampires?

Vampire-like legends exist in various cultures around the world. Some of the cultures with similar legends include:

Eastern Europe: In Slavic folklore, there are tales of the vampire-like creature known as the "upir" or "vampir."

Greece: The Ancient Greeks believed in the existence of the "vrykolakas," a type of undead being that was said to suck the blood of the living.

Africa: Many African cultures have beliefs in blood-sucking creatures, such as the "asanbosam" in West African folklore or the "obayifo" in Ashanti folklore.

Asia: In Chinese folklore, there is the "jiāngshī," a type of ghost that was said to feed on the blood of the living. In Japan, there are legends of the "kyuuketsuki," a type of vampire.

South America: In indigenous South American folklore, there are tales of the "chupacabra," a blood-sucking creature said to attack livestock.

These are just a few examples of the many cultures that have similar legends of vampires. The belief in blood-sucking creatures has been a part of human culture for thousands of years and continues to inspire fear and fascination today.

What vampire literature is there and which is the most popular?

There is a wealth of vampire literature spanning many centuries, from early folklore tales to modern-day novels and comics. Here are a few of the most notable works in vampire literature:

"Carmilla" (1872) by Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu: This is one of the earliest works of vampire fiction and is considered a classic of the genre.

"Dracula" (1897) by Bram Stoker: This is one of the most famous works of vampire literature and is credited with popularizing the vampire as a cultural icon. The novel follows the adventures of Abraham Van Helsing as he tries to stop the eponymous vampire, Count Dracula, from terrorizing England.

"Interview with the Vampire" (1976) by Anne Rice: This novel is part of Rice's "The Vampire Chronicles" series and is widely considered one of the best works of modern vampire fiction. It tells the story of the vampire Lestat and his interactions with other vampires, humans, and the supernatural world.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer" (1992) comic series by Joss Whedon: This is a popular comic series that inspired the hit television show of the same name. It features Buffy, a teenage girl chosen to fight against vampires and other supernatural beings.

"Twilight" (2005) by Stephenie Meyer: This novel is part of the "Twilight" series and is one of the most popular works of vampire fiction in recent years. It tells the story of Bella, a human teenager, and her romantic relationship with a vampire named Edward.

These are just a few examples of the many works of vampire literature that have been published over the years. The popularity of these works varies depending on cultural trends, personal preferences, and historical context, but "Dracula" by Bram Stoker is widely considered to be one of the most influential and well-known works of vampire fiction.

[den-gamle-kartograf]

This "solution" fundamentally Does Not Make Sense for a Mormon author to write. It's like trying to "fix" the Bible by, idk, making Jesus use his omnipotent god powers to not get crucified.

(Disclaimer: I have not read The Host, although I've talked about it with my partner, so I'm going to stick to talking about Mormonism. I've spent the last decade trying to forget that part of my life, so please forgive any errors.)

According to Mormonism, every person, past present or future, was originally created by God as a spirit. We all lived together in happiness or something, learning and progressing and becoming more like our Heavenly Parents. However, once we got to a certain point, Because Reasons, we couldn't make any more progress without a physical body.

So, God told us his plan: He'll give us bodies. In order to give us maximum free agency, he'll also put us through a "veil of forgetfulness" so that we have to walk by faith or whatever. Since we'll inevitably screw up, he'll send Jesus to die for our sins, which again is necessary Because Reasons.

Lucifer hears all this and says, essentially: "Well this plan sucks! A bunch of people are going to go to hell! Don't you care about all those people who are going to hell, God? You should do my plan instead, which I totally don't have any selfish reasons for proposing: We will just make everyone make the right choice. No agency means no hell means everyone gets saved. What's not to love?"

And then there's a war in Heaven and a third of God's children choose Lucifer's side and they all get cast into Outer Darkness and never get to have bodies. And if you're here, it means you're part of the two thirds that chose God's plan and got a chance at continued eternal progression and becoming more like God.

Anyway. None of this is actually real, because God isn't real but Mormon God is especially not real. But it is a deeply-held and deeply-analyzed belief system that's accumulated nearly two centuries of scripture and prophetic statements and culture and assumptions.

Not having read The Host, I'm not equipped to draw parallels in too much detail. But even at a surface level, I can recognize the elements of Satan's Plan here, in particular (1) achieving perfection through denial of agency, and the ways that interferes with your ability to actually grow, and (2) Satan and his angels coveting and wanting to possess our bodies because they will never get to have bodies of their own.

This book is a pretty obvious allegory for Satan's Plan. Anything short of possessing every person's body and denying every person's agency would make the book no longer work as an allegory, and Stephenie Meyer would no longer have a reason to write it.

Stephenie Meyer's sci-fi novel The Host is like. it's almost so much. the alien bodysnatchers at the center of the plot are like Animorph's yeerks if they got really into cottagecore. no, they don't want intergalactic war and domination! they want intergalactic peace and domination! they make every planet they visit a peaceful socialist utopia and like, okay, yes, they have to violently take over the bodies of a planet's native inhabitants to do it. yes, they have to suppress the unwilling minds of their host bodies. yes they are for all intents and purposes committing a genocide of their chosen planets' initial inhabitants and then puppeting their husks around playing at homogeneous, sanitized versions of the cultures they destroyed. the alien main character mentions that even episodes of the Brady Bunch were scrubbed because they were deemed too violent. and they call themselves souls, which is so loaded on so many levels. impossible not to read into the spiritual connotations, especially when written by an author coming from the mormon church which so highly values mission trips. just by sympathizing with humans who don't want to be possessed, by helping them hide out and stay free, our protagonist becomes a pariah, an outlaw from her own society. peace is valued above all else but not peace for the colonized, who are meat to be processed. it's better this way. they had so much potential but squandered it with foolish violence so now we have the right to overtake them and make them live correctly. isn't it beautiful now? isn't everything perfect? there's like almost so much happening in this story except Stephenie's a fucking mormon so she never draws any meaningful connections to anything and the happy ending is that the alien brain parasite protag is gifted the body of a beautiful coma patient that she can "ethically" puppet around, easy peasy problem solved. also there's a fucking love triangle.

[jones7thavenue]

2023 Diary Entry No. 18

Today was a good birthday. I went to Target with my mother-in-law. She bought me the very last copy of Midnight Sun, by Stephenie Meyer, along with a new pair of Levi's. Ate some pizza with her in the car. I'm starting to realize that if I just don't cool my fucking jets and wait, then I'm not going to change myself or go anywhere with my damn attitude, so I'm staying up tonight to let out some fucking steam, typing on this site. I'm not going to let some big dicked bitch ruin my fucking birthday, fuck no!

Anyway, I'm staying up again tonight. I fucking might as well forget about my Chromebook for another month. I applied for a few jobs at the local Sonic Drive-In a few hours ago, to keep my mind busy. I also cleaned the crate of miscellany, to keep my brain busy. Now, I'm typing this diary entry to keep myself busy. I'm just so pissed but I am not going to talk about it, because it'll piss me off more to the point of life without parole. And I don't want that. Of course, nobody wants that.

I'm not going to put up with my impatience. I need to accept the fact that some things won't go my way with a Thanos snap. I also need to accept the fact that once I start to change, then things will go my way eventually. I just need to make patience my strong suit again.....here I go again. Crying. For fucking what?! I'm going to drown in my loud music, not in my silent tears.

I feel so numb this early morning, having to wait for my shit another month, which makes me want to stab that bitch over and over. Plus, I bitch about having to clean up after my lazy ass stepfather is more than enough to want to punch him in the face. But I can't do either of these, because I lose everything. I want to spend my mother's money on the complete series of The Sopranos on DVD, but even that's out the window, now that she's got a dollar and change in her card. It sucks. My allowance is going to be $100 every two weeks, so I fucking need to find a way to manage my anger some other way, instead of letting my intrusive thoughts win.

I'm just going to have to write when I feel better.....I only hope it'll be later this morning. I can't even think of a better thing to do, except for cleaning my room, reading, journaling (on paper, of course), and napping until I feel like waking up. I better clean the rest of my room before Jackie comes this morning, sees my room in shambles, and gets mad at me. I'm only lucky she's one of the few people siding with me, anyway. I can't just think about how murder can calm a bitch down, when all it leads to is life in prison confinement, let alone diaries in prison that only are just another's bitching about the want to be free, and not admitting responsibility for their part in the murder. Fucking butchie bitch. I hope to write with a better outlook in a later bunch of diary entries on Tumblr, because, right now, my anger is seething from the very depths of my soul, and bitching about not having my way is not going to cut it. Not even a papercut.

[draculaney]

This is a vampire and supernatural creature specific blog, so in between the reblogs and shitposts, I like to dig into what rules we have created around these creatures. We seem to know all the agreed upon laws of what a vampire is - blood drinking monsters impervious to most methods of death other than a stake through the heart or burning up in the sun. Some can turn into animals or mist, some can have a magical thrall over humans. But where did those rules come from? We know a lot of the vampires we see in media don't adhere to all of those rules, or some make up their own. So what exactly is a vampire?

The rules for how vampires exist, drink blood or life essence, and die depend on what story you're being told and which one is the most present in your life. There are so many types of folkloric vampires that span many cultures across the world. Every human society seems to have a story somewhere in their history of an undead creature returning from the grave to drain the life of the living in some way. Vampires have been used as a way to explain plague, famine, disease, etc. Whenever mass death occurs, stories of supernatural coming to consume life arise.

Current Dracula based vampires have the most in common, with the folkloric strigoi in Romanian culture with ties to the Greco-Roman creatures, strix. The strigoi are particular in their stories of gaining vitality through drinking blood, being able to turn into animals, and become invisible. The theme is that blood is the life-giving source, and monsters want to drink it. A lot of previous vampire stories were the kind that would make a corpse turn into a vamp after death, or a monster/demon that's never been human at all; they were less focused on the act of biting.

Different cultures had different ideas of how one would turn into a vampire and also how to deal with them. A lot of practices were proactive. After a person would die and was suspected of turning into a vampire, some cultures would stake the body through the heart or put a stone on top of the grave or decapitate the corpse.

Many cultures throughout history have a fixation on blood as the life force. Greece & Rome had stories of blood sucking monsters in many forms. Like lamia, monsters that were devoted to the delights of Aphrodite, especially the flesh of human beings. Or empusa, demons that would seduce and devour young men. The Ovid mentions demons that would suck the blood out of infants, the focus on infant blood being “stronger and more pure.” The Filipino aswang is a creature with many different types of monstrous stories attached, a blood sucker that would drink blood with a proboscis-like tongue. There's Lamashtu, a type of female monster who would kidnap and consume children, taken from their mothers while they were breastfeeding. In Poland, a person born with teeth was at risk of turning into a vampire. In Eastern Europe, alcoholics were thought to turn into vampires after death, their insatiable thirst following them into their undeath.

There's a ton of overlap between what's considered a spirit, ghost, succubus, demon, vampire, etc. Folklore is always much murkier than one type of monster with one set of characteristics with no deviations. So much of it comes down to culture, which cultures were passing down these stories, these cautionary tales, these mass tragedies that people were trying to make sense of. The folkloric vampire has evolved in that way, each culture has its own details and rules surrounding the ways to identify and warn against a blood consuming monster.

SO HOW DOES THIS ALL TIE IN WITH TWILIGHT?

The Twilight saga has a controversial relationship with vampire folklore. There is a scene in the first book where Bella is asking Edward about the vampire characteristics, he brushes them off calling them myths. Stephenie Meyer also adds a whole new crop of traits to her vampires - no fangs, venom filled mouths, and sparkly skin in the sun. Their supernatural powers end up making these vampires more like superheroes than the standard blood drinking monster.

The reception of this choice was mixed. Young vampire fans thought nothing of it, enthralled by the first blush with vampire stories. Many older vampire fans treated this change like blasphemy and were vocal about it on the internet. They felt like a lot of the established rules being blown off so easily was too big of a change, especially with what is considered to be weak writing. Twilight being the most popular vampire franchise of the mid 00s threw this argument in contrast; either you either loved the new wave of vampires or you hated them with every fiber of your being. The further the Twilight vampires got from their folkloric monstrous form, the more critics disliked this change.

For me personally, this response to the series and the folklore of vampires falls apart under a little scrutiny. Vampires have never had the all same traits. Dracula can go out in the sunlight, he is only weaker and possesses less of his his powers. True Blood has vampire fangs come from two of the outer incisors instead of the canines. Some folkloric vampires have purple bloated faces, unlike so many of our sexy brooding modern vamps.

Smeyer does write about bloodlust and frenzy, the Twilight vamps are manipulative and coercive, they murder people without a second thought. There is a ton of evidence of the Twilight vampires being deadly, inhumane predators. These monstrous traits are used to contrast the Cullen family from the rest of the vampires we meet, to show that their abstinence is allowing them to stay closer to their humanity.

I think it comes down to whether or not you enjoy the narrative enough to give the details a moment to breathe, especially with all the wild shit that happens in the Twilight Saga as a whole. It's easy to gloss over the small character traits development in favor of reacting to the things in the series that you hate. WHY do you think Smeyer chose to write out these steadfast "rules" about vampires in her series? What was she trying to express with that, if anything? How does that affect our engagement with this series on any level?

[rosaliehaley]

Emmett and Rosalie headcannons

(because fuck smeyer, her opinion isn’t valid - this is me giving them the slowburn-relationship they deserve)

Rosalie was terrified when she watched Emmett go through the transformation, fearing that she was wrong again and fell for another monster. She realized that he would be the only man strong enough to hurt her and that truly scared her.

She prepared herself for Emmett being furious with her or even attacking her after waking up as a vampire - which of course wasn’t the case as he ended up being thrilled about his existence. Rosalie didn’t know how to feel about that as she was reliefed but kind of offended at the same time.

She went hunting with him shortly after. Emmett, being the chaotic goofball he is, ended up testing his newfound vampire powers, wrestling bears and jumping around the woods.

At first Rosalie was kind of annoyed about that, but Emmett asked her to join in and she did so, begrudgingly. What she didn’t anticipate was how much fun she’d have. For the first time since her assault and transformation, she was carefree and enjoyed herself. They made childish competitions about who could jump further, who could climb faster, who could hold their breath longer - that was also the day Rosalie called him first her “monkey man”. Rosalie had fun for the first time in a really long time and almost felt thankful to be alive, a feeling she thought she lost a really long time ago.

They’ve climbed to the top of the smokey mountains and had a conversation about their human lives, their interests, etc. They’ve learned that neither of them fitted their stereotypes: Rosalie, the beautiful blonde, was a mechanic and Emmett liked to paint. Rosalie also learned about Emmett’s large family of scottish and irish decent. She felt that it was very easy to talk to Emmett, but she wasn’t comfortable with sharing her trauma with him yet.

On their way home they played tag ... which ended badly when Emmett caught the scent of a human. Rosalie tried to stop him, but Emmett wasn’t able to resist, he gave into the monster inside of him. He pushed Rosalie to the ground, which reminded her of her assault. This resulted in a panic attack and Rosalie was immediately reminded that she’d never be able to be truly carefree and that she should stay away from Emmett for her own well-being.

They’ve spend a few days apart, which was hard because they essentially lived together now. After a few days they finally talked about what happened and made up. They’ve talked about Rosalie’s favourite book - which Emmett read to get to know her better ... and maybe (just maybe!) impress her a little. He also showed her one of his paintings, in which he processed “being a monster”. Rosalie realized that killing a human made Emmett feel worse than he first lead on and was there for him. This brought them a lot closer together.

Rosalie quickly learned about Emmett’s wild past - Edward warned her about it and Rosalie heared Emmett’s human family mentioning it when she brought them some of Carlisle’s money. This made her feel anxious - drinking and sleeping around was something she knew from Royce. She feared that they could be more similar than she thought, that maybe Emmett had a dark side like Royce did. She was wrong before so how could she be sure that history wouldn’t just repeat itself? She decided it would be best to hide her trauma for as long as she could.

Emmett was always so carefree with her, hugging and slightly touching her - which caused Rosalie to panic and push him away a lot of the time.

Over the weeks they became friends regardless - talked for hours and hours, went hunting together, Rosalie taught him how to repair cars and Emmett taught her how to paint. It was Emmett’s idea to start the baseball tradition - simply because he wanted to make Rosalie smile. He’d do anything to make her happy.

Later on Emmett admitted his feelings to Rosalie - she didn’t know how to react to that. Thinking about protecting herself, she pushed him away. She did so in a rather mean way - thinking it would be better to break his heart before he could end up breaking hers. She lied to him, telling him that he’d never be good enough for her.

She begged Carlisle to make Emmett leave, but the family has grown so used to him that they didn’t want him to leave. Emmett still left, sensing that he must’ve done something to hurt Rosalie and just wanting her to be happy again ... you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone because it was only then that Rosalie realized that she needed him and that she had feelings for him as well. So she chased him and convinced him to stay, telling him that she’s falling for him as well.

For the first time in her life Rosalie felt insecure - what if Emmett didn’t like her? If he wanted a physical relationship, which she felt like she couldn’t give him yet? What if she wasn’t good enough? Emmett felt similar - how could he, a boy from Tennessee, be possibly good enough for that extremely beautiful woman that he felt like could have whoever she wanted?

They’ve tried to have a couple of dates - some of them went well, others not so much because Rosalie felt constantly reminded of Royce. She realized that she had to tell him about her past if she wanted her relationship with Emmett to work.

She tried talking to him about her assault but then completely panicked. Not wanting Emmett to treat her differently and just see her as “the rape victim” or worst case, even judge her, she lied to him, telling him that she died by a car accident caused by her drunk fiancee.

Rosalie was to terrified to let Emmett in, so she decided it would be best for her to leave. She went to the airport, wanting to start over somewhere else but Emmett convinced her to stay. She decided to let her guard down and give him a chance.

They’ve had another date and ended up going to a bar - it was an open-mic-night and Rosalie made fun about some of the singers until Emmett dared her to sing something herself. She sang a love song for Emmett and he sang about her and that’s when they completely fell for each other. They came close to kissing, but neither of them dared to take the first step.

The decision was made for them later on when someone in the bar started bleeding - Emmett was about to lose his self-control again and Rosalie knew that she’d have to distract him. So she tried giving him the one thing that he might want more than the blood and kissed him.

It worked and they’ve quickly got out of there, couldn’t stop kissing each other once they’ve started. They went home and tried having sex - Rosalie knew that this wasn’t the best idea, but she just wanted to try being “normal” and taking the relationship to the next level. But eventually she completely panicked, feeling as if Royce and the others were there and torturing her again. She started to cry and scream and pushed Emmett away, who had no idea what was going on. She begged him to leave and he considered doing that, wanting her to feel comfortable ... but he decided to stay with her and help her.

After she calmed down a little, she was finally honest with him and told him about everything that happened with Royce. Emmett was shocked at first and started blaming himself for not being careful enough with her. She thought that he would be angry with her lying to him - or even worse, disgusted by her because of what happened - but none of that happened. He assured her that what happened to her wasn’t her fault and that it didn’t change the way he thinks about her. He felt so sad knowing that his angel had to go through something so vile and was glad when he learned that she took revenge.

They’ve talked about intimacy and Rosalie admitted that she wasn’t sure if she could ever have sex with him. Emmett assured her that that’s fine, that he’d wait for as long as she needed. While he’d like to get physical with her, he cared about her well-being much, much more and promised her, that even if they couldn’t get intimate, they’d still have a beautiful eternity. That was also the moment when he admitted to Rosalie that he loved her - shy at first, but once he said the words he was completely sure of how much he loved her. Rosalie couldn’t yet say it back and Emmett accepted that. They agreed that she needed to learn to love herself first.

They spend the entire night just holding hands and looking at each other. The next morning the decided that they were “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” from now on - something Rosalie thought was so pure. She’s never been someone’s girlfriend, just the “beautiful fiancee”.

Emmett of course was not able to hurt Royce and the others - but he needed a way to deal with the rage so he went to Rochester and destroyed their memorials. Rosalie considered that as kinda sweet.

After spending a few months together, Emmett proposed to her

They’ve had a very intimate wedding, only the other Cullens being there. Esme and Carlisle, once again having more money that they could possibly spend, bought them a castle in Scotland, where a part of Emmett’s human family was from. There they could spend their honeymoon

On their wedding night Rosalie and Emmett tried to have sex again - she began wanting to be intimate with him as well - but Rosalie panicked again. She was thinking about just “getting it over with”, but Emmett assured her that they’d wait until she feels comfortable. Instead they spend their wedding night playing board games. (They’ve shared a lot of wedding nights ever since ... but Rosalie and Emmett agree that this first one was the best of them all)

They managed to have sex a few days later and it was everything Rosalie dreamed of. She completely fell in love with the way Emmett touched her and slowly learned to love herself and her body again. She fell in love with having sex and the two of them rarely left the bed during their honeymoon - until it broke one day, of course. Not to mention that the castle was destroyed after a few weeks ... but they were happy. So happy.

Rosalie still dreamed of being human and having children with Emmett. But she loved him so much that she’d never sacrifice him. And Emmett promised her that someday - no matter how long it would take, 100 or 1000 years - one day they’d find a way to have a child.

[headinthestaticsky]

Frozen within the Night Wind: Jasper Hale x Fleur Swan, Chapter 7

All rights go to Stephenie Meyer's for the characters and world she created.

Authors note: Short chapter for today, hope you don't mind!

"I fell in love today, there aren't many words you can say That could ever get my mind to change She's enough for me, she's in love with me."

Flawless by, The Neighborhood.

"Ugh... I don't wanna." I whined to Alice.

"It's your sister's graduation party...it'll be fun."

"Yeah it'll be fun... if I get set on fire."

"That would kill you."

"Exactly."

"Oh suck it up you're going."

"Fine...I'll go."

"I will see you at my place in half an hour... if you're not there I will drag you there myself!" Alice told me sternly she then jumped out of my window and took off.

I sighed and threw on a dress quickly and ran downstairs. I drove as fast as I could down to there house. I know Alice doesn't throw out empty threats, she maybe tiny but she's also scary. I pulled up to the house just in time. I ran to the door and Alice opened it for me people were already inside, dancing..

"I was just about to go back down to your place."

"I know you were, I will never underestimate you."

She winked and walked away, I was looking the crowds of people shocked that I didn't feel thirsty. I would think that I would be going crazy right now but, it seemed like I had been a vampire for years...I was use to most people's smell. My scanning through the crowds was complete when my eyes landed on Jasper.

"Hey there cowboy."

"Hello there ma'am."

"I really...don't want to be here right now."

"Well why don't I lead you somewhere else love?"

"Sounds wonderful."

We walked for a bit, deciding to sit in the woods, it wasn't too far from the house but it was secluded enough.

"You amaze me every day you know?" Jasper said, breaking the silence.

"How?"

"You've taken everything in such stride...and your control is astounding for how long you've been a vampire...and you're just an amazing woman Fleur Swan."

"And you're an amazing man Jasper Hale... or should I say Whitlock? You never give yourself enough credit."

"I love you Darlin."

"I love you too."

He pulled me in for a kiss and I ended up in his lap. We pulled apart for a split second.

"It's kinda nice being a vampire for certain situations."

"Really? Why is that?"

"You can kiss me as long as you want...and we don't need to pull apart for air anymore." I pulled him back in before he could say anything else. We didn't know how long we had been kissing before I heard a familiar voice... a annoying familiar voice.

"There you two are... get inside Alice had a vision." Bella said curtly before turning to go back in the house.

"I'm really tempted to lock her out." I said while getting back up, Jasper grabbed my hand and guided me back into the house. People were still here so we had to go in Carlisle's office. I was shocked to see Jacob, Quil, and Sam here.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Jasper, Fleur... it's an army... they'll be here in four days." Jasper's face dropped, he looked concentrated on something now.

"This isn't good...this could end up being a blood bath." Carlisle said

"Who's behind it?" Edward inquired.

"I didn't see anyone I recognized... well except for one." Alice stated, I saw Edward reading Alice's mind for a second.

"I know who he is... it's Riley Biers, there's no way he started all of this."

"Well who ever did it obviously staying out of the action." I said.

"They must be playing with the blind spots of your vision Alice." Carlisle replied.

"I mean if an army is coming... there is no way we could protect the town there is not enough of us right?" I inquired.

Bella scoffed, "I'm sure they can handle it... not sure about you though."

"No she's right Bella... there isn't enough of us to protect the town."

"Hold up...what damn army?" Jacob asked.

"An army of newborn vampires." Jasper replied.

"I'm in." Sam said.

"Thanks Sam."

He smiled and nodded at me.

"What are they after?" Asked Jacob.

"They were passing around Bella's scent."

"They are after Bella, what the hell does that mean?"

"I means an ugly fight, with lives lost."

Jacob thought for a moment before speaking up.

"I'm in too." Jacob state.

"What? No way... you'll get yourselves killed." Bella demanded.

"I wasn't asked for permission."

"Edward?"

"Why would he say no." I thought to myself.

"It means more protection for you."

"Besides It’ll give us the numbers. Newborns won’t even know they exist. It’ll give us an edge." Jasper concluded.

"Jake, you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into." Bella stated.

Bella, this is what we were made to do do. You should be happy, look at us, we’re working together. You are the one who wanted us to get along, remember?"