#steph if you see this know i will have a voice message for you soon. im just gathering intel lmao

[reachthezeneth]

Me to my friends all the time : and I know boy is seeing someone and it's chill bc we literally never actually dated and I'm happy for him and I hope he's so happy 😊🥰

Me after finding out I was right : that bitch

[wosoamazing]

A New Chapter

Y/N Williamson Epilogue?? (My last fic before I refresh my page/content...)

IMPORTANT: This fic involves a heterosexual relationship between R and a Fictional character... If this is something you don't want to read I suggest you move on. WARNINGS: bad injury (hip), mentions of hospitals and surgery, moving away, rehab, heterosexual relationships, some swearing, periods, endometriosis, vomit/mentions of, being scared to return home, mild sickness, kids?, hints/links to miscarriage (not everyone will notice), suggestive?? - it's long so there are a lot, I have tried to list them in order, however if you do really want to read it but you can't bc of some of the warnings message me and I can see if I can cut that part of the story out for you. A/N: Not properly edited yet, I will edit it later - so sorry if any mistakes. Also sorry if the second half of it feels rushed, it was getting so long but I may have accidentally rushed it trying to make it not insanely long... (Word Count: 7462 - be prepared, hopefully it's not boring)

Your dream of playing in an Olympics Final came crashing down 15 minutes into the Matildas’ opening match of the tournament. A corner had been given, Steph kicked it in and the next second you were on the ground in agony, it seemed to happen in fast forward for you. However for Leah, who was watching at home, the moment unfolded so agonisingly slowly, she saw Frohms place a hand on your shoulder restricting you from jumping, as Oberdorf jumped into the air behind you, if it wasn't for Frohms’ hand on your shoulder the goal could’ve been yours, she was angry and hoped the ref had picked up on it, however she wasn’t angry for long, as she saw the trajectory Oberdorf was coming down on, her jump slightly too high meaning she lost control. Time slowed to an almost stop as Leah froze sat in front of the TV, watching as Oberdorfs midsection completely landed on top of your left shoulder, she almost felt her heart stop as she saw your left leg brace, watching as it popped out from the force of Oberdorfs head hitting your thigh, causing you to completely crumple onto the ground. Thankfully the players around reacted quick enough to grab onto Oberdorf and flip her, otherwise your injury wouldn’t have been the worst, and something unimaginable could’ve happened. She saw your body jolt as you were turned onto your back, the look on your face along with the scream you let out indicating your hip most likely popped back into place. The full weight of it all occurred seconds later when a phone was brought onto the pitch and steph did something on it, Leah’s phone started to ring.

“Leah, she,” Steph breathed out not knowing what to say

“I know. I saw. Can I talk to her?” Leah asked before hearing some shuffling from the other end, watching Steph crouch down next to you on the TV.

“Le-ah,” your voice came across the phone, it was full of pain and fear, Leah was honestly surprised you hadn’t passed out from the pain yet, but maybe you were running on adrenaline or shook, all she was certain about was that she needed to be there for you, in one way or another.

“Hi bug, you’re doing so well, being so brave. They are going to take good care of you, I promise. I love you so so much, and I’ll be there very soon, you’ve got this bug,” she told you before Steph took the phone back to her ear as the medics needed to move you, “we’re coming, our flight is in like an hour, we are actually about to leave now,” she informed her club teammate as she watched her fiance leave the bedroom wheeling a suitcase behind her.

______

You were immediately taken into surgery, where they did x-rays and scans. You woke up a few hours later surrounded by machines, unable to feel your left leg, but your left shoulder and torso ached badly, but quickly you noticed Steph, Sam, Leah, Lia and Alexia all sitting around the white washed sterile room. The people who you looked up to in your life and who inspired you, all in a hospital room, to be there for you, for some it meant taking time out of their teams olympic tournament. Maybe even risking unfair punishment and her mental health for one. For two others it meant getting on a plane last minute, dropping all other plans, including the IVF appointment they had waited a year for, not knowing when the next one would be, willingly letting go of their hope to have kids in the near future for you. In that moment you realised how much you meant to them, never before had the meaning of you to them been so tangible, they meant the universe and more to you, but maybe you meant ever more than that to them.

Leah noticed your eyes open and moved beside your bed, “Hey bug, how are you feeling?” she said ever so softly, and you just blinked groggily at her as she leant in to kiss your forehead mumbling “I love you very much,” before her hands moved to cup your face and her thumbs wiped away the silent tears that had started to fall from your eyes. The others all got up and left not only to find a doctor but give you two a moment of privacy.

“Hi, Y/N, nice to see you awake, I’m Dr NAME and this is Dr NAME, we were the two surgeons who operated on you,” one of the doctors spoke as they walked in, smiling at you, you kind of nodded at them and watched as their gaze turned to Leah before going through your chart, “and you’re Leah,” she nodded at them. “Okay so,” he started talking but you were too tired to listen and zoned out, hearing the words, dislocated, hairline fracture, Iliofemoral and Pubofemoral. You would eventually come to find those are the things that happened to your, during the fall your tore your  Iliofemoral and Pubofemoral ligaments, which then meant when Oberdorf’s head hit your thigh it was a lot easier for your hip to dislocate which it did, you had a hairline fracture in your femoral neck but it was unknown which mechanics of the injury caused that, sometimes they would insert a pin but as yours was only small and you were young, they didn’t, it also meant they likelihood of you returning to football was higher, however you still would most likely never return.

You were stuck in Paris until the end of the tournament, the risk of you flying back home versus the ‘risk’ of you staying there were incomparable and so you and your crutches, along with your bandaged hip, sporting the equivalent of a hinged knee brace but for a hip over your leggings, were dragged along to the final match, the first time you had been in the public's eye properly since your injury. You were dreading this match for multiple reasons. It meant you would be in the media’s sight, and you would also have to interact with the people you had been ignoring. But even more it meant you had to watch your teammates and ‘family’ get to do the one thing you had ever dreamt of, the thing that was almost never going to happen now. You stood alongside Sam during the national anthem, wearing an official match jersey, your own name on your back, as a tear rolled down your cheek, which after the anthem Sam wiped away before hugging you tightly. She understood the pain to some extent, however she knew well and truly before the olympics started the team could make it to the final and she would be standing on the sidelines, for you it was different, you should’ve been on that pitch today, if it wasn’t for your injury you would’ve been starting, as the main forward, but that didn;t matter now, you would probably never start for the matildas or any football club/team again, she knew it, the team knew it, the world knew it, you even knew it, you just didn’t want to have to face that reality.

The whistle blew and every single member of the Australian’s on the sidelines got up and sprinted onto the pitch, except you, every single A.O.C football personal was on the pitch celebrating, but you weren’t. You couldn't, you couldn’t get up, but that's not the reason you were not on the pitch, you didn’t want to be, you didn’t deserve to be.

The next second the whole bench shook, Kyra had catapulted herself into the row of seats in front of you, you looked up, her face shiny from sweat, holding the world's biggest grin, “come join us,” you just shook your head, “I can help, I’ll be sensible and careful. Please?” she begged, causing a tear to roll down your cheek, causing her face to quickly drop as she moved to hug you, making you cry more, causing more girls to start to filter over to you, all leaving with dampened moods, all having failed attempts at cheering you up and failing to convince you to join them. All celebrating as they walked across the stage receiving their medals, whilst they lifted the trophy, but the pain in their eyes was evident, you watched Kyra bite her nail nervously as she looked into your direction, you were still sat in you seat, having refused to collect your medal, you played 15 minutes you didn’t deserve it. You burdened the team, Steph spent way too long laying awake in her bed, the moment replaying in her head everytime she closed her eyes. Kyra cried herself to sleep almost every night, she missed you, you might’ve been with them physically but that was it, she knew she would have to go back to Arsenal without you and most likely never play with you again and that hurt her. Macca couldn’t shake the feeling of horror that ran through her body as she heard your scream so loud and clear from the other end of the pitch, she hadn’t even had her hearing aids in and yet it sounded like you were inside her ear. If anything the team had won in spite of you, you had in no way helped them get there, you were the cause for their pain, you didn’t deserve a medal at all.

“Bebita,” Alexia said softly as she bobbed down in front of you, “No,” you harshly snapped at her, “Et mereixes una medalla, les vas aconseguir aquí i vas formar part de l'equip sigui el que passi. (You deserve a medal, you got them here and you were part of the team no matter what),” you just shook your head at her, “Bé, doncs, almenys deixa'm agafar el teu i guardar-lo segur per a tu, per quan el vulguis després. (Well then at least let me take yours and keep it safe for you, for when you want it later.)” you shrugged your shoulders and so she placed your medal around her neck, for you. Before pulling you into a tight hug and not letting go for a very long time. The no you said to Alexia had been the last word you spoke to anyone before flying back under the intense supervision of the medics to England, where Lia and Leah meet you at the airport, taking you home.

______

“What’s wrong?” your sister asked, having put up with your attitude for way too long knowing you needed to break and rather than continuing to walk on eggshells waiting for you to break she decided to do it the hard way, allowing you to use her as a punching bag until you broke.

“What’s wrong, you’re fucking joking right, are you somesort of imbesile,” you sneered at her, “Oh I don’t know, maybe the fact I’ll never fucking play again, my career is over at 18, the rug has literally been swept out from under my feet, and none of it was even my fault, noone even got a fucking red, for ending my career, the ref decided that a career ending injury didn’t equate to a red. I had to watch as my friends my family lived out my dream, my fucking dream, I’m olympian, but am I really, 15 fucking minutes out of a minimum 540 minutes, I’m 2% of an olympian, I suppose that 2% counts though right? It’s not like I helped the team, I made it harder, I don’t deserve a medal but everyone else seems to think otherwise.”

“But you do bug, you were there, you got your team there, you were going to be the best young player of the year,” Leah tried to reason with you.

“Going being the key word there, I was going to win a Balloon d’or, I was going to be in the fifa best 11, I was going to win a golden boot, I was going to be and do so many things, but going is past tense, it’s never going to happen, I’m never going to get any awards ever again.” You shouted at her.

“Where are you going?” Leah asked as she watched you stand up, the room having fallen to silence moments ago.

“Away from you, I-, I-” you shook your head trying to clear your mind, Leah stepped closer to you, knowing your walls were about to crumble.

“What am I meant to do now, Le?” you asked, completely and utterly broken, “What happens now?”

Leah swallowed back her emotions “I don’t know bug, I’m sorry,” you collapsed into her and she picked you up being mindful of your hip, before lying down on the couch, your body on top of hers. You buried your head into her neck as you sobbed, your whole body shook, and all Leah could do was hold you, and try and comfort you and reassure you in a moment where there were no answers, how are you meant to comfort someone and give them reassurance when the doctors don’t even know. How are you meant to tell someone it's going to be okay when the only way to know what will happen is for them to go through an excruciating rehab process only to then very likely be told they could never play again.

____________________________________________________________

You were cleared to fly long distances 3 months after your surgery, 2 months since you returned, so that’s what you did. You flew to Australia, bought an apartment and started a new life essentially, one that not everyone knew your past in intricate detail, however being a Matilda most people knew who you were but it was different.

Charlie got Lachlan to keep an eye on you and so you did things with his friends and sometimes even his team. You found yourself getting closer to one of his friends in particular, he always made sure you weren't left behind because they were walking too fast, he was ‘coincidentally’ at the same rehab gym you went to when you first put weight on your leg still relying on your crutches heavily, he celebrated for you but quite, not to make you uncomfortable, he offered to drive you to your appointment the one where you were allowed to use only one crutch, he celebrated for you then too, a bit more openly but not nearly as enthusiastic as he would’ve liked. You invited him to the appointment where you would start walking without any assistance, he celebrated quite loudly for you that day, insisting he needed to take you out for dinner, you accepted it, hoping it would lead to something more, and it did. You quickly found yourself spending more time at his house than yours, more of your belongings there than you had at your own home. He was honestly perfect, and for whatever reason you had this feeling that a shoe would drop any second. 

— FLASHBACK — 

One night he woke up to you crying in your sleep, sitting up slightly he noticed there was blood on the sheets underneath you. Shaking you softly, he woke you up, before quietly saying “Baby, I think you’ve come on.”

“Shit,” you sighed out before curling into a tighter ball, “Why don’t you go have a shower and I’ll change the sheets,” He offered as he kissed your shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, rolling over to your back, “why?”, “because I’ve bleed all over the sheets, sorry,” “Baby, it's just a little blood, it’s okay, don’t worry,” you nodded before getting up and hobbling to the bathroom.

“Hey, babe you okay?” he asked as he approached the bathroom door, having finished changing the sheets, you didn’t reply to him, but he heard the muffled sounds of you crying, “I’m coming in okay,” he told you before softly opening the door, seeing you on the floor, your legs curled underneath you, as you sobbed, he bobbed down next to you, placing a hand on your back, “Do I need to take you to the hospital? I don’t think this is normal,” you shook your head as you reached to grab his hand as another wave of pain washed over you, taking a deep breath you fought off the nausea before blurting out “endometriosis,” hoping he could make conclusions from that.

“Do you need your tablets or something?” he asked and you looked at him confused. How did he know?

“My sister's girlfriend has it, I don’t know much about it but I know some things. Are your tablets in the drawer in the kitchen with the tape and stuff, are they the things in the arsenal pouch?” He asked and you nodded, being in too much pain to talk. He quickly left and returned, with your tablets, some water and heat packs.

“Not blue box,” you told him and he nodded before popping out some of the other tablets as per the labels and handing them to you.

“Do you want me to hold you?” he asked as a tear rolled down your cheek, “But-” you tried to protest weakly.

“I honestly don't care. I just want to help, I want you to feel better,” you nodded shyly at him and he picked you up placing you in his lap as he handed you a heat pack, you curled up and hid your head in his chest, falling asleep eventually.

— END FLASHBACK — 

You met up with some of the Matildas’ for coffee during one of their camps, and he and Lachlan came, him on the basis he was Lachlan’s friend.

“How long?” Steph asked as she walked alongside you, both slightly behind the others.

“What?” “You know what I mean, how long?” “I don’t know, it started as friends and then the lines blurred and then somewhere along the way he asked me to be his girlfriend,” she hummed in response, “Have you told Leah?” “What do you think,” you asked her before Harper ran up to you.

Later that night you were lying in bed next to him, head resting on his shoulder as his finger drew soft circles on your hip, over your leggings, when your phone buzzed.

Steph: You need to tell Leah. I know you don’t want to, but just think about it this way, at least you won't be telling her in person. But no, I seriously think telling her sooner rather than later would be better.

You sighed after reading her message dropping your phone on the mattress next to you, you dreaded telling your sister, especially when you already barely spoke.

“What’s wrong,” he asked as you rolled on top of him, letting out a heavy breath.

“Steph figured us out and is insisting I tell Leah,”  “Oh, why don’t you want to tell Leah?” “Do you want to tell your brother?” “Shit no,” “Exactly,” there is a pause,  “but I do need to tell Leah, especially if I am going to go back when you go on holidays,”

“You can stay here, you know that right?”

“No, I have to go back. Barça wants to announce my departure officially anyway. I don’t have a choice,” you sighed out, “what if I messaged and then just threw my phone out”

“You know you can’t do that,” he chuckled softly, causing you to groan as you rolled off him.

“I don’t want to have to face them all, I ran away, they probably want nothing to do with me anymore anyway,”

“I don’t know if that’s true, Steph and Kyra were so happy and excited to see you today, so was the rest of the team but especially them.” he said and you nodded before he spoke again, “Well I don’t know about Charli, she was too busy catching up with Lachy to even notice you were there I think,” you laughed at his comment, you turned the TV onto the Arsenal match which was about to start as the pair of you feel into silence.

“Would you ever want kids?” he asked you out of the blue.

“Um, yeah, most likely, especially now it won’t be interrupting my career,” you tried to joke, “why?” “Oh, just curious, you were just really good with Harper and her little brother today, and I don’t know why but that thought came up. Also, doesn't Steph have a kid?” 

“Yeah, he stayed in London with Dean for this camp,” he just nodded as your attention both went back to the game.

____________________________________________________________

“What do you want for lunch?” Leah asked as you sat down in one of the kitchen stools as Leah and Lia walked into the kitchen. Leah had picked you up from the airport but as Harry was actually on holiday with his friends you went your separate ways, however you had a lunch planned for tomorrow with him, you, Leah and Lia.

“Not eggs,” Lia injected before you could answer, you were confused about her answer but just nodded anyway.

“Um, I don’t really care, I’m not that hungry anyway,”

They decided on Ham Sandwiches for lunch and as you ate you caught up with them, before ending up on the couch watching TV with them, they were still talking however you had fallen more silent, leaning into Leah’s side for a hug, “You okay? You’ve just gone a bit quiet and look a bit pale,” Leah asked looking down at you.

“Mmm, I’m just a bit tired,” you admitted.

“Why don’t you go up to sleep, we have no plans until tomorrow.” you nodded before moving to go upstairs.

______

“Bug you okay?” Leah asked as she sat down on the edge of the bed, brushing her hand over your face causing you to stir slightly.

“Mmmm, sorry do you want me to go?” you mumbled half asleep.

“No, it’s okay, you can stay in here, just wanted to check you were okay,” you nodded slightly before letting out a rather chesty cough, “you sure about being okay?” you just groaned at her before rolling over, feeling her slip in behind you and pull you in for a hug, it felt just like old times.

“What are you doing in here?” Leah asked as she entered the bathroom, obviously just waking up from her midday nap.

“I feel like I’m going to be sick,” you informed her.

“Oh, scoot forward,” she instructed you and you moved away from the wall. She sat behind you before pulling you onto her lap, you collapsed back into her, resting your head on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” you said breaking the silence as you turned your head on her shoulder so you could look at her, “I should’ve told you, you did some much for me, you were there for me my whole life and then I just up left, no warning, nothing, and then I basically ghosted you,”

“It’s okay,” she told you

“But it wasn’t, I even told you about Harry over text, the first thing I told you in months after not even telling you I could walk without crutches was that I had a-” “Boyfriend,” “Well yeah,”

“I understand, and I understood, it was hard, don’t get that wrong, but it isn’t the only time one of us has just upped and left, I think you’d remember how once I got my professional contract and I had to move, I didn’t tell you, I couldn’t bare to see your sad little face when I told you, so I just left, at least you had a reason, I didn’t have one at all, and you technically had two reasons, the injury and payback,”

“I forgot about that, but thank you for reminding me, I will use it if Mum or Dad get angry at me,” 

“Please don’t, but I do understand. You did it for you, you needed to find yourself, figure out who you were without football, which meant you needed to be separated from everything that reminded you of what was once, of what you loved and still love, and that included us, and it;s okay. I was never angry, I just really missed you, you’re still my baby sister, and no matter what happens you will still be the most important person in my life.”

“Oh,” you felt your gut sink at her confession, suddenly the feeling of being sick became very real, “I’m sorry,” you replied quietly as you moved your head back flat against her shoulder, staring at the ceiling. You felt your mouth fill with saliva and closed your eyes taking some deep breaths.

“Should we cancel lunch tomorrow?” Leah asked as you continued to take deep breaths knowing why you were.

“No,” you said as you shook your head, the nausea having finally passed, “I’ll be fine, I just need to sleep more,”

“Okay, also Lia has an appointment with the medics tomorrow just so they can do some checks and stuff, it's before lunch but you’ll probably have to come and just hang out at the club because otherwise we might be late to lunch,” you nodded your head before you felt yourself dozing off.

____

“Hey, how are you?” Aaron asked as he walked into the gym followed by Declan, you had decided to do some of your rehab exercises while you waited for Lia and Leah.

“Yeah, pretty good. You?” You replied kindly

“Alright, know much about your prospects yet?” he asked, referring to your hip, you froze, not knowing what to say.

“Um, not yet, still another month until I find out,” you lied, you had already been told, but you weren’t ready to tell anyone else yet.

As you continued with your exercises, you couldn’t help but notice your heart rate get faster and your chest get tighter as time passed. When you felt yourself slightly shaking you slipped out of the gym, sliding down the wall in the hallway, your actions didn’t go unnoticed by declan who quickly followed you out but walked past you down to the medics office. He returned following behind Leah, who bobbed down next to you before looking up at him.

“Please don’t tell anyone about what we were speaking about in there,” she asked him

“Of course I wouldn’t Leah, it’s your own personal information, I’m sorry for interrupting, it’s just that,” he gestured towards you, “and if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.”

“No thank you,” she said before shifting her focus to you.

“Hey, what's going on? You okay? Do you feel sick?” she asked in a soft, concerned voice, you couldn’t manage to speak so you just shook your head, “Take some deep breaths, you’re okay, it’s okay, nothing happened, you’re safe.”

“I can’t play,” you managed to get out after some deep breaths, the words almost immediately lifting a weight of your chest, “I’m never going to play again, I can’t,” you told her before breaking down into tears.

“Oh Bug, I’m so sorry,” she said as she pulled you in for a tight hug.

“How much longer are we here for?” you asked as you pulled away, having calmed down slightly.

“Probably ten more minutes. Have you thought about what you’re going to do?”

“A little, once I was out long term the offers started to come out anyway but I haven’t really considered them. I’m thinking of coaching though, I just can’t decide,” Leah hummed in response to you, and you sat in silence, just embracing her presence until Lia came out.

____________________________________________________________

After you spoke with Leah and Lia about not playing it was decided you needed to ask someone who wasn’t affected by your choice in any way. So you decided on going to Barcelona at the same time as Harry, for different reasons though. Hoping Alexia could help and give you some guidance.

So that’s how you found yourself sat in your seat on the plane as it sat on the tarmac waiting to disembark, your right knee bounced up and down uncontrollably as you nervously looked up and down the aisle. When you felt a hand placed on your knee, you jumped slightly before relaxing into the touch slightly, “It’s going to be okay, stop worrying, from what you’ve told me they will only care that you are okay and safe, they might be slightly annoyed but they’ll understand.” You nodded whilst stilling looking around, “and remember you can call me at anytime and I can come to you at anytime you want me to, the boys won't mind, they might just make a condition that they have to meet the team if that occurs,” you both let out a light laugh at that.

As you walked out of customs his hand slipped into yours, and you dropped your head onto his shoulder, causing him to kiss your temple. Just ahead you saw Lucy, who had raised her eyebrows, ignoring her you turned to him and hugged him. “I’m going to miss you so much,” you mumbled into his neck, “Same, but remember you can call whenever you need and I’ll call every night,” you nodded before you pulled your head out of his neck and your lips connected, your legs lifting to wrap around his waist as he wrapped his arms around yours.

“All right you two, stop sucking face, we need to go,” Lucy said interrupting you.

You huffed at her and she gave you the same look she would give you when you huffed at her for not getting you second ice cream when you were younger at England camps.

“Didn’t take you as someone who would be into PDAs Mini Leah,” Lucy teased you knowing the nickname would set you off.

“Well Lucy, when you’re in love, those things don’t matter,” you replied to her dramatically as you followed her out of the airport.

____

Its safe to say walking into the place you called home two years ago was emotional, and as you stood there waiting for Lucy to get everything she needed out of the car, Alexia and Mapi walked by, however Mapi halted, she was stopped in her tracks, as she was behind alexia who hadn't noticed you, and kept walking.

“Ale, Alexia,” Mapi stood there calling for her, “Alexia” she shouted,

“Què (what)”, Mapi couldn’t do anything other than gesture to you with her head, Alexia came running back down the hall and froze when she saw you.

“What’s wrong with them?” Lucy asked as she finally walked through the doors.

They stuttered, not being able to get words out, Lucy just ignored them and pulled you along behind her, to the pitch, where everyone was celebrating. Making your way over to where Ingrid, Frido and Ona stood, all giving you a hug, before a small girl came running up to you, “opp, Klem,” she said whilst she made grabby hands at you, she was Ingrid and Mapi’s daughter.

“I’m sorry, I can’t pick you up because I have an ouchie hip,” you said as you looked at her softly before looking back up at your old teammates, who all gave you sorry looks.

“Please don’t do that, that’s not why I came,” you sighed out before walking over to where Olga was standing by herself.

“Hi,” she said as she smiled and hugged you, you caught Alexia looking at you with a concerned look from the corner of her eye, Lucy and Kiera were talking to her and Mapi, most likely about how you didn’t want to be treated differently etc.

“Hi, is she mad?” you asked Olga, stepping away from the hug slightly.

“What?” “That I didn’t come to the wedding?” “A little upset Si, but not mad, more concerned, but we understood.” you nodded at her “it did take a week to calm her down after she found out you left England, she wasn’t mad though, more scared of whether you were safe or not,” you nodded weakly as you bit your bottom lip.

“Bebita,” Alexia said as she came up to you hugging you, before standing between you and Olga, almost the whole team following behind, creating a circle as they all started talking, it felt just like old times, like no time had passed, but it had almost been two years, you were struggling to follow the conversation like you used to, having not used your spanish in so long, everything was bringing back old times, old memories, memories you wished you could keep living, but this chapter of your life was over now, you moved to stand in front of Alexia and hug her, she wraps her arms around you whilst continuing her conversations, your shoulders started to shake softly as you started to cry and everyone looked at her concerned however she shook her head, indicating for them to continue and ignore it. After a while you seemed to have managed to calm down and you pulled away from Allexia slightly, she cupped your face in her hands, “Whatever happens, it's going to be okay.” you gave her a weak nod before moving to stand next to her.

“We are going for dinner at Ingrid and Mapi’s tonight, most of the team will be there and I think Harder and Erikson are coming too, you can come if you want.” Alexia said as you entered the ever so familiar house.

“Um, okay,” you said as you placed your phone on the table and went to grab a drink from the fridge before hearing your phone ring, Alexia caught a glimpse of the screen as she handed it to you. She knew exactly who it was from the look on your phone, not who the person was but who they were to you.

“Don’t tell anyone please, not many know yet,” she nodded, “do I get to meet this boy?”

“Alexia,” Olga called out sternly from the living room, clearly she still was in charge, something that hadn’t changed.

“Maybe, I think his friends and him are going to the game this weekend,” you said before you answered the phone and retreated to the spare room noticing how it was still your room and not a spare room at all.

____

You were sitting on the floor with Hailee, having been dragged away from your conversation with Mapi, Ingrid, Alexia and Olga by the small girl into her playroom. Not that you really minded though.

“They’ve told you you can’t play again haven’t they,” you were startled slightly by the unfamiliar voice, looking up to see Madga leaning on the door frame.

“How did you know?”

“I don’t know, I just could tell, maybe because I only knew you as football, where as they knew you as football and you, so they can’t see it. Does anyone know?”

“Yeah, Lia and Leah, and someone else, and now also you supposedly,” you flatly replied.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” you looked at her blankly, “I’ll take that as nothing, what if you came over to Frido’s while the team is at training and Pernille and I help you decide, we have no connection, it could help,”

“Bayern don’t need a new coach?” she shook her head, and you just nodded slightly, “okay so it’s settled then,” she said before turning around, “Frido, do you have a big whiteboard at home? If no, we need to buy one before tomorrow morning,” you heard her yell out as she walked away.

____________________________________________________________

Having made your decision with the help of Magda and Pernille you returned to England with Harry. To tell Arsenal, after it was official, just not yet announced, you went for lunch with Leah, Lia and Harry to tell them all, Lia and Leah took it well however Harry jumped out of his seat saying he needed to be somewhere, and since he wouldn’t return your calls, so you had no clue if you would see him or not, maybe he was leaving you.

“Turn around,” Steph said as she saw Harry running to the facility doors where you were waiting for Lia and Leah to get out of the car, having a chat with Steph.

“Will you move in with me?” He blurted out, slightly puffed as he reached you.

“What?” You questioned not understanding what he meant.

“I didn’t answer your call, or your message or your subsequent calls because I was doing something, for you, for me, for us. Remember how I played Rugby Union in high school,” you nodded, “well, I wasn’t ignoring you because I was mad you took the job, I wasn’t ignoring you at all, I was trialling for a rugby club, so we could be together, I love you too much and you mean too much for me to go back halfway across the world from you. They offered me a contract, it isn’t the greatest, but it will do, anything that means I can stay with you is perfect,” tears started to fall from your eyes, “I’m sorry,” he said slightly panicking, questioning if he said something wrong.

“No, no,” you said as you shook your head, wrapping your arms around his neck and picking your legs up “Thank you,” you mumbled into his ear before placing your head on his shoulder, not believing it.

“I’m assuming it worked?” Leah asked as she walked towards the three of you, he nodded in her direction as you let go, “ready to do this?” your sister asked as she looked at you and you nodded, starting to feel nervous agin.

____

“I’m coming back to Arsenal,” you told everyone as you stood in front of them, Harry standing on the sides, Jonas inisting he come in considering he was there already, they all cheered slightly before you interrupted them, “but not in the way you probably all want, I’m going to be part of the staff, the coaching team, I-,” your voice cracked, as you took a shaky breath “I won’t-, I-I can’t ever play again. I will never be able to play again, it’s uncertain whether I will be able to run without pain, let alone play,” you sniffed, you felt panic rise within you, “I’m sorry,” you said quietly before walking out the door tears streaming down your face, trying to ignore the looks of sorry, disappointment or confusion. Leah’s immediate reaction was to stand up and go to you, but Lia tugged her arm forcing her back down in her chair, gesturing to the figure that was rushing out the door after you. 

-

“I’m sorry, I-'' you blubbered out as someone came towards you, “Hey, none of that, baby none of this is your fault, and you literally have nothing to apologise about,” he said as he stood in front of you, you immediately fell into him at the sound of his voice and felt his strong arms hold you tight as you buried your head in his neck, he started swaying you and gave you a small kiss on the side of your head every now and then, trying to calm you down, knowing that was probably one of the hardest things you had to say, he knew you always wanted to finish your career at Arsenal, and now that was never going to happen, at least in the way you wanted, you would never be a Matilda again, you would never walk out onto a football pitch in the same way again, your goals were changing and you were struggling with that. He knew that, no matter how much you tried to hide your feelings.

The door creaked as it opened and Harry looked over to it, seeing Steph walk out, who handed him a water bottle as she gave him a soft smile before walking back into the room. He continued to sway you both slightly, keeping one hand around you as he took a quick sip from the bottle.

“Baby, do you want some water?” you nodded, taking the bottle of him and drinking out of it.

-

Leah was still inside crying into Lia’s shoulder, most people had left the room now giving everyone a bit of space. “Do you want to go home? Is this about what just happened or this morning?”

“All of it. It’s stupid, I just feel like I’m losing her now too, and it’s dumb, she was never mine in the first place but-” Leah confessed, before getting cut off by Lia.

“It’s not stupid Le, we have a lot of things happening in our life, a lot of news, and not a lot of time to process it all, it’s hard, and I know you feel like you have to be strong for her, for me, for us but you don’t, it’s okay,” Lia tried to reassure her.

“I shouldn’t be upset, I mean you're the one going through it all, and here I am complaining about my life.” Leah hiccuped.

“Hey, I might be the only one going through it physically but mentally we are both going through it, and you have more on your mind then I do, I understand, you don’t have to apologise for being upset, no matter if I’m experiencing worse, we are a team forever and always no matter what happens, no matter whether we have an addition to our team or not.” Leah nodded before pulling away from her and standing up noticing you had come back inside.

She pulled you towards you and wrapped you in a much needed hug, you didn’t want to let go, and neither did she.

____________________________________________________________

2028 Olympic Games

As the final whistle blew your players immediately ran over to you and your staff, celebrating as a team. 

Commentator One: And they’ve done it, the Matildas have won the Olympics for the second time in a row. 

Commentator two: Y/N Williamson has led the Matildas to victory after a drought, a much needed piece of silverware for the team that was starting to lose the country's hope.

It was a risky decision for Football Australia to choose you as new head coach, even you knew it, especially as you would only be joining the team in person at camp three weeks before the Olympics started, due to circumstances, but you started work much earlier than that, much to everyone's disbelief. You were however quickly ushered away from your team for a post match interview, causing you to catch sight of your sister who has collapsed onto the floor in tears. Taking a mental note to go over and comfort her later.

“Do you want to go see your Auntie?” You said to the two small people who clutched onto your hands as you walked onto the pitch.

“We-ah,” “we see Weah,” they piped up at the mention of her and you let go of their hands, “go on then,” you watched as they ran over to her, smiles bright, not knowing the meaning of the moment that just happened, them being so happy just to see their Aunt. 

“Alessia, hand the baby over,” you said to her as she held the newest addition to the Williamson family.

“Do you want to go say hi to your Mummy?” you asked the 3 month old as you placed her against your chest.

Leah’s face softened even more as she watched you approach her with her daughter, “you know, I’m never going to be able to thank you enough or repay you for this,” she said as you passed Lilly over to her, “but maybe you taking the gold away from me, means I don’t have to.”

“I told you, it’s nothing, honestly, you don’t have to repay me, buuut…..” you dragged on, she raised an eyebrow, “can you take the boys tonight, I have some celebrating to do,” you told her as she rolled her eyes.

“You literally carried our baby for us, I do owe you, and yes of course I’ll take the boys tonight, I need some quality time with them before they leave me for Australia,” she replied.

“It’s only two weeks, it's just a short camp, and it’s time we went on one of Daddy’s camps and meet all their uncles, but they honestly think they are meeting Kangaroos, they don’t quite understand that Wallabies is just the name of the team” she laughed at your comment before pulling you in for a hug. It sounds cliche but you knew in that moment your life had turned out perfect, it is nowhere near what you imagined but you honestly couldn’t have asked for anything better.

[missbluesunflowersstuff]

I think the only right way for Damian to become Batman is much slower than everyone thinks

Just image: Damian in the future as a veterinary student, slowly distancing himself from the world of vigilantes and Bruce, an old man, with aching and tired bones, who has suffered with chronic pain for years (you'll have to take chronic pain Bruce Wayne and Jason Todd headcanon from my cold dead hands) getting ready to go on patrol once again. There are a series of murders happening and he wants to investigate

And Damian goes into the cave (maybe to take care of Batcow) and see the scene. He feels sorry for his father, Bruce's love for Gotham cursed him and now Gotham was slowly killing him. Then Damian calmly approaches and gently pushes his father into the chair. And in a tired voice Damian says:

“Leave this to me today, father, take your medicine and rest.” "No, Damian. You have to go to college today"

"Gotham is my city too, they're my people too...and they still need Batman"

Damian also knows that Dick has his own city to worry about; that Jason is busy on some mission around the world; that Steph is too tired for this; that Tim is too attached to the Robin mantle for that; that Duke recently had a child with his wife; that Cassandra is now a renowned ballet teacher and Damian doesn't want to get in the way of his siblings' lifes. He knows that if he asked, someone would accept, but everyone is so happy now, it took so long for them to reach that moment... Damian then decides to sacrifice himself that night.

Only that night

He will becomes Batman just that night, so his father can rest, he makes it clear that he will only do it that night

"Don't get used to it, father, it's just for today"

But that news spreads like fire. Even Jon and the other heroes start to inform Damian about things that happen (Batman still is very important in the Justice League) and Damian? Damian ignores

He goes through the messages, emails and claims he only did it once and never again. He forwards everything to Bruce, not wanting to get more involved than is convenient

but then the next month, Bruce has another rough night and Damian takes up the mantle again. This becomes a strange habit between the two of them, slowly and silence, one night a week... two nights a week...

The biggest change happens when Bruce is seriously injured fighting someone much stronger (and younger) in the sewers of Gotham. Damian had an important test at college and Bruce didn't want to call him, it wasn't fair to push that on Damian when the boy made it clear that he didn't want the mantle. So Bruce lies there for hours, in the midst of pain and dirt trying to reorganize his mind until Damian appears, the youngest son noticed that his father hadn't come home yet so he got worried and went after him.

Damian and Bruce open a pact that night, Bruce would stay in the cave supervising and Damian would work in the field

This works very well at first but soon Damian comes home to see his father sleeping, and it becomes a routine. Damian is happy that his father trusts him enough to sleep while his son is on patrol, that's good

the truth only shocks Damian when at a league meeting Jon refers to him as Batman, not Robin or Damian, no. Batman. The Batman.

and even though many people believe that he became Batman out of neopotism, the truth is much more different and sad than that. He became Batman through his own choices and effort, to protect his tired father and also to protect Gotham. Because, in the end, Damian learned to love Gotham the same way Bruce loved it.

Note: I love imagining this old Bruce slowly realizing how unfair he was to Damian his early days, how Bruce only saw Damian as a spoiled brat, a monster covered in blood and mud instead of helping him like Dick, Alfred and Steph did . I love imagining old Bruce kicking himself for not noticing Damian's gentle, compassionate side sooner. Side that was underneath all the anger, dirt and trauma

And also Bruce realizing that Damian is as gentle to people as Talia was in the past Note²: I'm not trying to villainize Bruce and sanctify Damian; Damian did a lot of things, but he was a ten year old child who didn't know how to deal with the world (+brainwashed by a cult) and Bruce was a grown ass man who had been dealing with traumatized people for many years, Bruce should have been more patient with Damian but you still have time now Bruce, you can do it. I believe on you, you can still be a good father

[luvrodite]

a draft from a few days ago. thinking about dad!jason thanks to sunnie and just. how stressed that poor man about your safety and comfort. you so much as breathe wrong he's alert.

anyway i'm thinking about how one night, after a long week of running around trying to get everything sorted – the crib you guys had wanted wasn't available and you'd said it was okay but he'd seen the downturn of your mouth so he's been trying to get the materials together to make the exact same one, and even though he's cut back slightly on patrol and he knows steph is capable, he can't help but worry about the kids he's been trying to keep an eye on, and his body seems to give out as soon as he hits the mattress that night so when he wakes up and doesn't hear your breathing next to him or feel the weight of your body – he panics.

he stumbles out of bed half asleep and nearly crashes into the doorframe, fear threatening to grip him in a chokehold. he's already imagining the worst possibilities but then –

oh.

you peer over your shoulder curiously at him, barefoot and still in your soft sleep shorts, the material of your shirt rising over your growing belly.

safe.

he blinks, rapidly, swallowing to ease the dryness of his throat. burning eyes fall to the open flame on the stove in front of you, the metal skewer you're holding with a marshmallow on the end, edges golden. there's traces of sugar on your bottom lip, and he heaves out a haggard breath, adrenaline still buzzing in his veins with nowhere to go.

"you okay?" you ask carefully and he lowers himself into a crouch, dropping his head into his hands.

"sweetheart, you can't do that," he groans, the complaint muffled. he hears the soft patter of your feet against the floor and your hand splays over his back, a grunt falling from your lips as you join him, carefully kneeling by his side. "i think i just lost ten years off my life."

"i just wanted a snack," you say quietly, and he can hear the pout in your voice. he looks up and you're frowning at him. he reaches out to take your hand in his.

"you could've woken me. i woke up and i didn't see you and–" he cuts the sentence there.

it's true that he's made strides since the both of you got together. he's come far from the man who feared sleeping in the same bed with you, worried about accidentally reacting in a half-awake state and hurting you – but the baby has brought back some of that fear.

you've seen it in the way he tenses in a crowd, a hand always at your back, eyes scanning the perimeter tenfold to when it used to only be the both of you. he refuses to let you carry anything over a certain weight, and you're almost 70% certain that he's employed the rest of his family in keeping an eye on you when he can't (you'd have to let tim know his disguises needed some work).

you soften then, shuffling closer to press your mouth against his. he can taste the caramelised sugar on your tongue, a fleeting brush that lingers in his mouth when you pull away.

"i'm here," you assure him. "we're okay."

he tips his head forward to press it against your shoulder, letting out a quiet groan. his heart still feels like there's a grip on it, and he has no interest in moving from this spot until it settles once more. you're content to let him, he finds, a hand brushing over the nape of his neck soothingly.

he's in the middle of counting his breaths when something prods at his lips.

"wha-" marshmallow fluff is stuffed into his mouth, and he makes a garbled sound as it gives under his teeth, sticky, overly sweet.

"stop trying to feed me that shit!" he protests, when he's swallowed and you stifle a laugh, pinching his nose playfully.

"i have a message from our baby," you say, struggling to keep a straight face. "they told me they don't like it when their dad is upset, so you have to eat it, it'll make you feel better."

"our baby told you that," he echoes flatly, unimpressed. you nod, raising your eyebrows pointedly in a look so smug it makes his teeth ache.

"you wouldn't want to upset the baby, would you?"

on the floor of your kitchen, you have a staring contest. jason is the first to blink, and your resultant smile makes up for the artificial sweetness that he swallows with a grumble, leaning forward to bite the rest of the marshmallow off your fingertips, nipping at your fingers for good measure.

“no,” he sighs, and knows it’s the first of many demands he’ll be unable to deny. “no, i guess not.”

[wandafiction]

Touch - Just Us Chapter 42

Warnings: Mentions of Abuse, PTSD and Mentions of Surgery

Word Count: 3384

Series List | Chapter 41 | Chapter 43

================================

(Wanda PoV)

I got a message from Nat telling me to come back in, which was weird because I thought she was going to come out. I look back to where Carol, Tony, Pepper and Morgan are in the waiting room. They want to wait till Y/n has spoken to Dr Raynor to see her because they don't want her to feel pressured into speaking. We also had a nice conversation about Y/n and how we all agree she puts others before herself way too much but that is something we can all work on helping her with. Not that we don't love her for looking after us, but it hurts to see that she has the weight of the world on her shoulders and is trying to deal with everything and not let people in. Thankfully she has opened up to me a bit, which Carol informed me was great progress for Y/n especially after only knowing her for a month. 

I'm proud of that fact. 

Anyway back to our schedule programme.

I knock lightly on the door, hearing Nat's voice quietly beckon me inside I almost melt at the sight of Y/n wrapped in her arms. The flashback or episode, whatever we call it, must have taken a lot out of her. I smile lovingly at the pair as Nat plays with the end of Y/n's hair her arm wrapped around Y/n's shoulder the other over her waist, while Y/n's head rests in the crook of Nat's neck. Its quite a funny sight to see because Y/n is over a foot taller than Nat, yet here she is being the little spoon for once: which makes the reality of the situation hit hard realising how small she looks with her body curled in on itself. My poor baby. 

"How was it?" I perch myself on the edge of the bed as I drag my finger up and down Y/n's calf.

"It was good. She opened up quite a bit to me, more than I thought she might." Nat turns her head to look at Y/n a small frown forming on her face as she looks back at me. "I don't like that Steph woman." 

"You and me both Nat." I join Nat in frowning as I think of her and what she has put Y/n through. "What did she tell you about her ?" 

"Just that she would hit her, she didn't say it was abuse but I sort of gathered from her none answer to my questioning. She also mentioned how it started of great with Steph but soon turned into something else." I could cry at the idea of someone hurting Y/n like that, she is so sweet and caring. To use that against her when she was in such a bad place is fucking abysmal. If I ever see her I don't know what I will do, but it most definitely won't be pleasant.

"Anything else?" Y/n shuffles in her sleep her brows furrow slightly making my worry spike.

"No nothing else." Nat turns to see what I'm looking at her face morphing to worry as Y/n starts moving about more, and Nat loosens her grip on Y/n so not to hurt her but her arms still in place just in case. 

"Y/n baby?" A small whimper leaves her mouth her brows almost touching in the middle as Nat starts to stroke around her face trying to get some reaction from her.

"Y/n, I need to wake up." Y/n's body jerks slightly mine and Nats worry growing. 

A few seconds later Y/n's body jolts from Nat's arms, both of us too slow to react as Y/n falls off the bed onto the hard cold floor but it doesn't seem to faze her. Her eyes are tightly shut as her hands scratch at the back of her shirt trying to pull it over her head. Without another moments hesitation I jump from my spot, slowly making my way over to her as to not scare her by accident. She hunches her body over as she finally grips onto her top pulling it over her head and throwing it on the floor, her hands moving up and down her back and then to her front. I hear Nat gasp and realise she has never seen Y/n's scars before, well I guess this is one way to find out about them. 

"Y/n can you hear me." I ever so slowly bend down in front of her making sure all my movements can be seen by her, even though her eyes are shut. "Baby?"

I see her nod, that's a good sign. That's better than what we were getting at Tony's office. I place my knees on the floor so I am matching her slouched height her arms still roaming her body.

"Baby can I hold you?" I hear a small whimper as her hand touches the scar by her ribs. "Y/n, I know it's hard to hear me and concentrate but I can't do anything without an answer." 

"Please." Her tears are a starting to fall to the floor and it's taking everything in me not to cry, it is not what she needs right now. "Please touch my scars I need to know nothing else is there." 

"Okay. Im going to do your back first. Is that okay?" I want to make sure she knows my every move so I don't cause a trauma related reaction. 

"Mhmm." It's all I need to place one hand at the bottom of her neck, where the scar starts before tracing the scar ever so slowly with my fingers putting pressure on it so she can feel my hand. I make it halfway down her back when her had shoots up to hold my wrist, my movements immediately stop but she simply pushes my hand into her more. As I look at my hand and the scar below it I realise it's not just one scar here but maybe two or three. I've never noticed it before because it looked more like a skin blemish or something. It's just a few inches to the right of her spine so I use my other hand to put pressure on that one and her hold on my wrist instantly relaxes. 

I look up to Nat with tears in my eyes, but when I feel Y/n's hand let go of mine I continue my journey down her spine, now noticing more and more scars as we go. I've never actually taken the time to look at them, take them in.

I mean that and she is pretty much always on top so I don't get to look at her back. Not the time Wanda! I know, sorry.

When I make it to the bottom of her spine her body relaxes a lot, her arms wrapping around herself like she is trying to protect herself from something. She leans upwards, her eyes fluttering open for a second before closing again, but not as tightly as they were. She opens her mouth to say something but all that comes out is a croak, so instead she pats the ground behind her. Instantly I get the message, but I keep my movements slow and steady. Once I am behind her I move my legs from under me so they are either side of her my ass on the cold hard flood but I don't care at this point. I look up to Nat.

"Go get Dr Raynor she is in the waiting room with the others." I ask Nat, hoping she will understand that Y/n may not fully let go until she is outside. I feel horrible to have to kick Nat out but I also feel like Y/n won't release her emotions if someone else is here. Hopefully she trusts me enough to let go in front of me, because I don't want her doing this alone. 

"OK, I will be back in a minute." Nat gives me a simple nod before slowly making her way off the bed and out of the room.

Once she has gone Y/n pushes her body back into me making me gasps at the sudden movement, not expecting her to react so quickly to a change in the environment around her. Her back is pressed hard against my front, her head on my chest as most of her body is laying on the floor. She grabs my hands pulling them around her body, pulling my right hand down to the round jagged scar just below her right ribcage. I move my hand slightly putting light pressure onto it, the movement of my hand against the sensitive scarred skin causing a few goosebumps to arise but Y/n seems to completely relax in my hold. Her hands rest against mine as she pushes her fingers in between mine, her finger tips resting in my palm while her palms are on the top of my hands. 

"I've got you dorogoy. You're safe." I rest my lips and chin against the top of her head as I speak into her hair practically.

It takes a few more minutes for her body to stop shaking with emotion, her eyes becoming dry but remain red raw while her cheeks are tear stained. It breaks my heart to see her like this, but I'm glad that I can do something to at least help ease her out of it: even if it's as simple as drawing random shapes or words of affirmation she has me. Her eyes are still shut and have been since she fell off the bed. Oh shit, yeah, she fell of the bed.

"Dorogoy you didn't hurt yourself did you? That's quite the fall you took?" Her eyes flutter open at my question, her head tilting backwards so she can look up at me and I smile at the sight of her and those extraordinary eyes. She shakes her head lightly at me as a small smile tugs at the corner of her lips.

"No, maybe a sore butt. However, nothing else seems to be hurt or broken which is good. I didn't end up with a black eye this time." She huffs out a laugh as I lean down to give her a kiss. 

"That's good then. Dr Raynor and Nat should be up here any second. Do you need help getting back into bed at all?" 

"I will be okay, could you just pass me my top please." Her eyebrows furrow once more, I hate that look on her face it makes me pout. "Sorry, just, did I take this off in front of Nat?"

"You did yeah. But she won't ask questions unless you want her too." I have a question of my own but don't know if now is the right time to ask so instead I ask something else. "Why did you need me to touch your scars?" 

"I had a dream, or I guess you could class it as a flashback. I was back with Sarah and my daughter, then I was in hospital hooked up to wires. It was like an outer body experience while I was in the hospital, I couldn't feel what they were doing to me but I was outside my body watching in. I saw myself on the operating table with my spine being operated on. When I woke up in a daze, I needed to make sure it wasn't real. Trick my brain back to reality."

"So the pressure of my hand on your scars, allowed you to realise that's all that is there and that you definitely weren't on the operating table." 

"Yeah." Y/n pushes herself up from the floor, me following closely behind to make sure she doesn't stumble. She climbs back on the bed tucking her feet under the covers, patting the small space next to her as she leans against the back of the bed. I beam at her and move to sit next to her, I move my legs under the covers but rest them on top of Y/n's. She puts her top back on, then lifts her arm up so I can lean against her as she wraps it around me pulling close. We relish in the moment as the room is engulfed in a comfortable silence, just our soft breathing can be heard. 

There is a small knock at the door, and through the small pane of glass I can see Nat and another woman who I can only assume is Dr Raynor. Y/n waves them in, trying to keep the room quiet for as long as she possibly can. Nat notices the silence so makes her way to one of the seats by Y/n's side of the bed giving both of us a small smile before we all turn to look at Dr Raynor. She smiles at Y/n but turns to me holding out her hand.

"Hi, you must be Miss Maximoff? I'm Dr Raynor, but I go by Christina." I happily lean forward shaking her hand in mine.

"Yes that's me, Wanda is fine please." She gives me a polite nod, turning back to Y/n.

"So Y/n I heard you had a bit of a hiccup today?" Y/n shuffles to sit up straighter dragging me with her slightly so I can remain happily leaning against her.

"I had two actually." Her voice comes across more confident than I expected it to, and I have to hide the proud smile that wants to break out on my face, because smiling right now? Probably not the best timing.

"It's good that you can admit that. Did it happen just now?" Christina keeps going even though me and Nat are still present and I'm not sure how I feel about it, shouldn't this be something between the two of them. 

"I had another flashback, fell off the bed, ripped my shirt off. Sorry about that Natasha. Uh, Nat. Then Wanda helped to ground me. Now I'm here, comfortable and calm." Y/n says it so naturally it's like it's rehearsed, maybe it is to a point. 

"What was the flashback?" I see Nat shuffle slightly in her seat, and Christina seems to notice because she changes her question. "Do you want your friends to be in the room for this session?" 

"Yes." The word rolled off her tongue effortlessly, making me smile up at her leaving a small peck on her jaw. 

"What do they know?" 

"Not enough." I lean my head back to look at her face, disappointment written all over hers.

"Why not?" 

"Didn't get around to telling them." 

"Y/n." Dr Raynor's voice is stern, and it sort of reminds me she is just that Dr Raynor. None of this Christina bullshit, she is Y/n's doctor not a friend. If she wants to be addressed by her first name, that's fine but not from me. 

"I don't know." Y/n's voice almost sounds like a child who is being scolded by her parents.

"Y/n." That's all it takes for Y/n to snap.

"I'm scared okay!" She sucks in a breath at her words as she looks between me and Nat, a pleading look in her eyes. 

"So I will ask you again, do you want your friends here for this session?" 

"Yes." Dr Raynor smiles and nods, bringing the spare chair from the corner of the room to a few feet in front of the bed. We can still see her easily but I guess we only really need to hear her anyway.

"Why?" Is the first thing Dr Raynor asks after situating herself on the chair.

"Why what?" Y/n tries to hide her irritation in her voice, but it can clearly be heard.

"Why do you want your friends in this room?" 

"Firstly, let me correct your statement. Wanda is my girlfriend, Natasha is my friend. So that means your question should be 'Why do you want your people in this room?'" I rest my hand on Y/n's thigh giving it a small squeeze, so she brings her free hand down to hold it and I can see Nat smiling at Y/n's words.

"Okay so why do you want your people in this room?"  

"Because they need to know." 

"But why can't you tell them later?" I get that Dr Raynor is a very skilled and highly recommended therapist but my God do I want to bang my head against the wall with all these questions, I would lose my patience at her and shout. But this isn't about me, so I can't. 

"Because I won't have the strength to tell the story twice so close together." Me and Nat turn to look at her, and she bows her head at the admission. 

"Ladies, you seem to have questions. Go ahead." Dr Raynor opens up the floor to us while Y/n seems to be collecting her thoughts.

"What story are you making her tell?" Nat is the first of us to speak.

"Y/n is going to recollect the day of the accident from start to finish. We have been working on training her brain on desensitisation. So when she has a reaction to something she can normally gain control back easily and ground herself. Today caused a lot of past trauma to resurface so when she tried grounding herself the copying mechanism didn't work because her brain completely shut down on her. So by making her tell the story it's like kick-starting her brain, because we will use her coping mechanisms throughout the story." Dr Raynor explains it in a way that we can understand and so we know everything that is about to happen.

"When you say past trauma, do you mean just the accident or do you mean her ?" It's the first question to pop into my mind after the explanation.

"If by her you mean Steph. Then yes, the way Y/n's brain and body react to things is due to the trauma which was not only caused by the accident but by Steph as well. Now I will not go into detail but it wasn't great for Y/n's PTSD for obvious reasons. So even though this may feel like a massive step back in progress I can assure it's not. It's the first time in a long time since we have had one of these episodes, and after being in zero contact with Steph for over 7 Months it has helped a lot. Anymore questions before we continue?" 

"Just one." Dr Raynor looks at me motioning for me to continue. "Is there anything more we can do to help make sure we don't trigger, I don't know if that's the right word. But to stop us from doing something that can trigger a trauma response? Or some way that I can help her during an episode as she called it, where I don't have to ask if I can touch her because she doesn't always hear it when I ask." 

"The word is trigger. Y/n doesn't have many but she has a few. We can discuss after she tells the story and I can give you some information on how to teach Y/n's body how not to react to yours so you don't always have to be so careful with your touch. It will also allow her subconscious to recognise your touch and should help ground her more. It can take a while, and at times be frustrating when you feel like it isn't working. But we can work on it if that is what you both want?" 

I turn to look at Y/n, wanting her to make the decision whatever she is comfortable with doing even if that means not doing it. She looks up at Dr Raynor then to Nat then to me a smile playing on her lips.

"It's what I want. I want Wanda and Natasha to be able to help me." Dr Raynor notes something down in her notepad before facing the three of us.

"Let's get started."

================================

[fuzzypersoncycle]

in the morning

Steph Mana, as usual, got dressed and did her routine

She prepared breakfast for Lakia to go to school.

After doing all the work, the hour came and evening came

They asked to prepare for the interview with the man called Al-Baluf who had risen

He offers her a job

When she arrived at the café, she saw that Adlov was sitting and waiting for her

Apparently he arrived before her

There was a feeling in Sana's mind telling her to stay away from this

The place and go as much of this as possible or it prevents her and makes it

She wants to return home.

She even felt that her limbs had frozen and she could no longer

the movement.

And between them, what is not fighting inside her, oppressed by that familiar voice.

It was impossible for Sana to forget what a memory she had

Rather good

He spoke, saying the Woodlove

The Sunnah and the Prophet are gone, so please sit down when Al-Badin

To Sana's silence, he told him that the goods were fake and she sat in the place

Which was presented to him

As she sat, the silence lasted a full minute until Bana interrupted

By saying it.

Ask: I agree. I want to see the conditions first and compare them before signing

On that paper

Al-Loof smiled a smile that looked like a Western tongue, and it was difficult

He interpreted it to add:

Oh Plov Oh good thank you for accepting the offer and of course I will

By giving you the paper while we drink juice and eat something

the solution

C

The appraiser applauds to show the meditation as the speaker bows broadly.

Saying, “Sid or Daluf, do you want to ask for something?” 22

Onof, if you miss me, what is it that Irbidin is asking for?

Sana Thank God I traded my food at home for this ur request

A cup of coffee, please

O Delov: As I heard, bring Miss Waltabi’s request and come

A piece of cake with you for me

The waiter acted in one second and apparently he was Kadan

He says in his pants to Sana who was noticing his movements

And under it.

O Dlov is an important person and owns this club.

After that, a few seconds passed until the request was ignorant

Odlov was happy and had an Arabic smile while talking

About the contract

While Sana's doubts about him increased even more, he prepared the order quickly

Unlike the times when what do you ask for it takes

Waiting 10 minutes or more.

This may seem like a normal thing, but for Sana it was more

Her doubts

More and more, imagine some strange scenarios in...

her job.

Why would Toy Bunny come to a place like this and ask her in particular?

Join his work?

Until O'Blouf interrupted her while saying the Sunnah and the second according to the one

You understand 22

Ask you what, yes, of course

O Delov looked at her with looks that told her that he did not meet her, but that he was perfect

saying

Unlove: As you know, you can read the contract carefully before you sign

If there is a question, tell me now because I am busy

Sana pushes that paper from the table and as soon as she reads it, he shuts up

O Munouf was holding her expression while he was tense.

Sana began reading the contract and analyzing it well, and its terms

1- Provide her personal information with them

I cannot do household tasks such as cleaning and work.

3- She is older than 15 years

Not to infringe on the privacy of its masters

5 We are good at reading (When Sana saw this sentence, she almost laughed

for several)

Non-destructive when commanded

7- She shall not return to the house beyond the expiration of nine months, or if she has

Very funny situation!! And send a message to her family or someone else

Unless you have written permission from the head maid.

Then Sala stopped reading and looked at this sentence

Her expression looked annoyed.

It was then that O Toph, who was contemplating her, had a feeling

With her facial expressions that were so intense, this made him startled

Speaking as he says

Onuf: Sunnis and Nabi, is there a problem 115

Sana's expression turned annoyed and she began to remember

another

#Flach backs

Kalay, I will not be able to return until after the end of nine months

‎‫گانای: Sorry, the butler was sick, so I couldn't‬‎

He asked her to send a message

The salary is high

#And Flach backa

Ask: Can you inquire about this sentence??

We twisted the knot in front of Orov's face, her expression full.

Very disturbed.

Fields in a slightly low voice

Malik: This sentence

Steer to the sentence as she speaks and gives sharp looks

Erdlov Ur regarding this God intends to you throughout the decade that

Retro home, but there will be custom in the place where

We will go there, do not worry, God is safe, but it is far away and it will take time

About an hour to reach the desired location.

San I can't

He was surprised by what she said and continued

He is the delof 112

The complement is saying

Sana: I have a certain person I have to take care of

I would like to love: Sorry for this condition, but it must be implemented, so you are

I am no exception 13

No, you also had conditions, so you must accept

My conditions too

It is not fair that I apply your conditions while you do not apply mine

Unlove Alba and Tabbi, give me a little, we can solve this

The problem (he added tense)

I don't want Maha to blame you, sir

O Dalof: Well, what do you think about bringing God the Arabic meaning?

The person who responded remains contagious

Also, tell me who this person is so that I can choose the best Arab

Teacher, you know 22

Sana: No, thank you. I don’t want anything from you. Now excuse me, I have to

Going as it seems to me that these insurance terms.

Or you yearn for the Sunnah and the theoretical prophet

Sala grabbed her small pink bag to go, but she stopped

He looked at her by her wrist and gave him a red glare

On him and say

Mana sir or dlov please take your hand away because I am letting him go

Scream and tell me magic is upon you and then you know the rest

He quickly took his hand off her after noticing all the eyes.

Heading towards them, especially him

Orlov, wait, let's talk. We can solve everything

Himself, I can't let her go. Many before her have rejected her

My only hope of escaping Mr. Kurokari's wrath

Sana: Well what now?

He bluff al-Jalsi

Sana obediently sits while looking at him and does not tell you about

The amount of tension between them

Silence reigned supreme

Oblov says everything I asked you about is from the person who...

Why do you want to stay away from all this anger among the Sunnis? There are many

Of solutions

I can't say enough about my sister.

Because I don't like to tell anyone about my personal information, this is the first thing

Secondly, why did you stop? There were so many people

Ludlove, I'm sorry for what you did a moment ago, second son, ironing the girl

appropriate for this task

Good money, but what is the salary?

Orlov's hips, saying

Sorry, this doesn't help me

Ludlove Sana 11

Sana: I want more, give me what you have

After much negotiation, they finally found a suitable passenger for both

Both parties

O Dlov: Thank you for dealing with us

He said with obvious annoyance

They asked for forgiveness. As for the issue of Arabic, there is no need for anything wrong

One time I'll handle it myself

Or get ready in the evening and bring your bag as well as your high

To a station.

Asking good deeds for education

It was a good conversation for them.

Gold for everyone.

at home

When Sala arrived home, Akina threw her younger sister into her arms

She says in a tone of voice on the verge of tears

Akita in pomegranate, where are you??

Sala, I was interested in some topics. Come on, I want you on a topic

Important

Akinat Well I'm Mahir

She said while sitting on the sofa.

Satak I decided to work

This is really true, I swear

Sala, but there is a problem

Aki (worriedly, what is my sister?)

Sala (I told her the terms of the contract) I'm sorry I'm leaving you

Let us help you, my sister, to understand your neck with the help of our older sister

I cannot leave you to set my path with me and guide me.

By God, I cannot even take care of myself or tie the knot of Haqqani

So how can I take care of myself every day and you are the one who cries for me?

In my family there is sometimes a hair that everyone wants to turn away from

Mala, this is what I felt in the same breath, “My little girl is not pious

I will take care of my stomach. Grandma Yura will take care of the country as well

Olayanya, don't worry, I will visit you every nine months. Okay, bear with it

Just

This torment will end soon

Akinar, well, keep your promise

The sharpie, while she is holding it together, uses her little finger to straighten out what cannot be tied

Her other finger was with him and she was nervous

Sana, promise my little girl, study well

Kina ok sister

After that, Akina went to her room, Madam, and Sata was sitting in it

Waiting for Grandma Yura for the second

Al-Hada Bora, despite her poverty, was helping the technicians

In times of need, she was their neighbor before their parents escaped

And disappearing from their children and she was the only person who was

He gives them money and teaches them how to cook....

She made them live with her for a period of time.

But they moved to God and felt distressed.

Upon Bora's arrival, Sana greeted her and they exchanged greetings

The conversation and then I told her about the topic of work and told her about

How to take care of the little one and so on

After that, Mana left after preparing everything and went to the station.

The time at that time was 8:30 pm

When he arrived, the mood was all over the place and she was waiting

[roseworth]

ooo how about "I hope you find it someday." "Find what?" "Whatever it is you're looking for." with stephanie brown and jason todd?

send me a prompt !

-

“O,” Steph whined. “This is literally the most bored I have ever been in my entire life.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear we’re not being dramatic about it,” Barbara responded over her comm. 

“They’re not even doing anything, they’re just waiting,” Steph complained. “I wanna throw cowboy on these guys.”

“‘Throw cowboy’?” 

“It means to beat the shit out of ‘em,” she explained. “Dick taught it to me.”

“You need to be patient, Batgirl,” Oracle said. “If they’re waiting for something, it means you’re waiting, too.”

Stephanie groaned.

“I promise you can throw cowboy once you know the full situation.”

“Fine. But mark my words: once I do, these drug dealers aren’t even gonna know what hit ‘em.”

“I believe it,” Babs chuckled. “Just wait a little longer, and you’ll be golden.”

Steph stretched out in her position in the rafters of the warehouse and looked down. The dealers were making small talk, which felt a little strange. She never really thought about big-time drug dealers talking about the Knights game and the weather. 

The conversations came to a screeching halt as the door opened. Everyone straightened up as whoever it was walked into the room. Freaky. She was almost nervous to see the guy who could apparently silence a room full of some of the most powerful people in Gotham’s underworld.

“Oracle, he’s here,” Steph whispered. “Some tall guy, wearing a red helmet.”

Steph could hear Barbara’s sharp intake of breath. “Bulky guy, red hood, leather jacket?” she said.

“Yup, looks like it.”

“Batgirl, you need to get out of there now.”

Steph frowned. “But you promised I could–”

“I’m serious,” Barbara hissed. “You cannot be there.”

“I can take this guy!”

“No, you can’t. Leave.”

“Can’t I at least call backup?”

“Stephanie, no. Out. Now.”

Steph groaned quietly. “Fine. I get it, you still don’t trust me,” she said, getting up to leave. “I’ll go now, but I totally could’ve handled it.”

Babs sighed heavily in her ear. “It’s not like that, just… trust me on this one. I’ll explain later.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

Steph looked down, and the creepy guy in the helmet was still just standing there, scanning the room. Just as she was about to get out, he started talking.

“Look at this, you’ve got a whole shindig planned out, but you’ve still got a bird infestation,” he yelled. Steph froze.

“Shit shit shit shit shit,” she whispered, scrambling to leave.

“What’s wrong?” O asked urgently.

“He knows I’m here.”

“Fuck.”

A gunshot went off, and a bullet buried itself in the wall right next to her. Shit. 

“Come on, leaving so soon?” the man yelled. Steph didn’t dare look back as she slipped out the window and grappled to the neighboring building.

Her heart was beating out of her chest. “Who the fuck was that?”

“The Red Hood,” Oracle answered. “He’s the big crime lord these days, he took down Black Mask. I didn’t think he would be there.”

Steph snorted softly, trying to even her breaths. “Maybe I should send him a thank you card.”

“Or maybe you should stay out of his way so he doesn’t try to kill you,” Babs scolded. "You should ask Speedy or Red Robin about their interactions with him."

"Speedy and Red Robin are both still alive," Steph pointed out. "It couldn't have been that bad."

"Yeah, but both of them say that they're only alive because he let them go."

Steph rolled her eyes and grappled to the next building. “I would’ve been fine.”

“You wanna put money on that?” a low voice grated.

Steph looked up to see the Red Hood standing in front of her, holding a gun to her head. Shit. 

“How the hell did you–”

“I don’t like it when Birds fuck with my business,” he interjected. “And I’m not opposed to sending a message to make sure I get left alone.”

“Stay calm, Batgirl,” Barbara said, typing furiously in the background. “Just don’t do anything to provoke him, and he’s not gonna hurt you.” Steph wanted to point out that that rule probably applied better to wild animals than it did to crime lords threatening her with a firearm, but she held her tongue.

“Whatever, man, it won’t happen again,” Steph said, holding her hands up. “Let’s just move on, I’m not going to–”

“You’re angling your feet to leap at me,” Hood pointed out. “And the way you’re holding your arms up is supposed to look non-threatening while still being ready to attack. Don’t try to use the Bat-training on me, kid, I know it all.”

“What the hell is your deal?”

“Batgirl!” Oracle scolded. “I said not to provoke him!” Steph ignored her. 

Red Hood stayed silent for another moment. Steph hated how she couldn’t see his face. She narrowed her eyes and scowled at him to make up for it.

“They never told you, huh?”

“Told me what?”

He reached up with the hand not holding his gun and opened a latch on his helmet to pull it off, then tossed it on the ground.

“The name’s Jason Todd,” he said with a smirk. “Good to meet you, Batgirl.”

Steph’s jaw dropped. “Jason fucking Todd? The dead kid?”

“Steph!” Barbara shouted.

“Yup, the one and only.”

“I can’t believe you’re fucking alive, you dick,” Steph groaned.

“Excuse me?”

“Oh my god,” Babs groaned. “If you survive this, we’re going over what do not provoke means.”

Steph reached to her ear and clicked her comm off. Jason was looking at her with fiery eyes, the gun still pointed right at her. The safety was definitely on, though. She was guessing that was on purpose.

“You made my life hell, you know that?”

“I really don’t think that’s true.”

“Batman used to give me so much shit about being ‘too reckless’ and ‘too much like Jason’ because of you,” she fumed, jabbing a finger into his chest. “And all that time, it turns out you’re alive?”

“I wasn’t alive all that time,” he said. “And I don’t see how any of this is my problem.”

Steph folded her arms. “You’re right, it was all my problem while you were off god-knows-where doing god-knows-what, and now you have the nerve to hold a gun to my head?”

Jason lowered the gun and raised an eyebrow at her. “All I did was die, it’s not my fault Bruce treated you like shit,” he said. “Maybe the one you should be mad at is him.”

“Oh, trust me, I am mad at him,” she responded. “But you’re the one that’s alive right now, so you’re the one that gets my rage.”

“Have you ever thought maybe he was right?” he retorted.

“Are you serious?”

“Dead serious.”

“Hilarious.”

“Listen, Bats,” he said, “Maybe kids shouldn’t be putting on capes and scampering around the city. And maybe for once in his life, Bruce wanted to actually fix a mistake he made instead of burying it and forgetting about it.” 

Steph narrowed her eyes. “You don’t know a thing about me. I was not a mistake, I was helping the city.”

“Stephanie Brown, age 18, daughter of Arthur and Crystal Brown, freshman at Gotham University with an undeclared major,” he listed. “Became Spoiler when you were 14 to stop your father, then kept crimefighting despite everyone telling you no, then became Robin a few years later when Tim stopped, started a gang war, and died in the line of duty. Am I right so far?”

Stephanie glared at him silently.

“Yeah, I thought so.”

“Fuck you.”

“Sorry, keep talking about how you were ‘helping the city.’”

“You’re an asshole.”

“Yeah, I’ve been told.”

“What about you? You’re the one that’s a crime lord, it’s not like you’re doing the city any favors.”

Jason rolled his eyes. “You’re right, there’s nothing I can do for the city without putting on tights and bright colors,” he drawled. “I am helping the city, more than Bruce ever did.”

“By doing what? Making everyone live in fear?”

“It's not about fear, Stephanie," he shot back. "You’ve seen the city, you’ve lived in it the way I have. There’s no helping it if we don’t use a permanent solution.”

“I’ve lived in the city my entire life,” she argued. “And I know that the way to help is to bring hope.”

“That’s cute, you should put it on a greeting card.” Jason stepped away and picked his helmet up off the ground. “Look, shortstack, I’m not here to debate morality with you. Just stay away and let me do what I need to do.”

Stephanie looked at the bags under his eyes and the way he kept his muscles tight like an attack was going to come from any direction. He meticulously checked his weapons in his holsters before getting ready to leave despite the fact that he hadn’t touched any of them since they started talking.

“I hope you find it someday,” she said.

He froze and snapped his head to look at her. “Find what?”

“Whatever it is you’re looking for.”

He clenched his hands into fists and turned away. “You don’t… That’s not what this is.”

“Isn’t it?”

Jason tightened his jaw, then pulled his helmet back on. “Tell Babs I say hi.”

Stephanie watched him grapple away, disappearing as quickly as he came.

She sighed and clicked her comm back on. “Oracle?”

“Oh, good, you’re not dead,” Barbara snapped. “Never do that again.”

“Sorry, O, technical difficulties.”

“Uh-huh. I’m gonna add about 10 comm overrides to your suit when you get back.”

“I know you are,” Steph said, looking across the skyline of the city. “By the way, Jason said hi.”

[ectonurites]

can you please explain what happened on tim’s sixteenth birthday if it’s not too much trouble?

Anonymous said: what did Bruce do on Tim's birthday???

@gothamsiren4: i’m afraid to ask what happened but what happened

I would have just included screenshots of the other ask + reply but I need the image space for panels . tumblr and this stupid image limit is going to kill me

ALRIGHT LETS GO OVER ROBIN #116-120!

So, Tim just had a whole adventure from #112-#115 where he was out of town undercover (it was a WILD time. there was a giant monster, this random guy Stephen that could let Tim walk with him through the woods really fast, Tim accidentally wore a mullet wig nearly the whole time- chaos, truly) and when he gets back to Gotham he is fucking exhausted and his sense of time is all sorts of screwed up- something Dana notices as soon as he gets home, when he doesn't recognize an important date coming up that week.

(Robin #116)

So Dana calls up Steph & Ives to come help celebrate, and they all give Tim a particularly surprising surprise party- because he forgot his own birthday! Things are going great until the end of opening presents- where Cole (the guy who works the elevator in their building) has joined the party and it's revealed a mysterious box was left for Tim earlier and they have no idea who it's from.

This makes Tim's Robin anxiety kick into high gear, leaving him paranoid basically the rest of the night

(Robin #116)

Later after the festivities, Tim brings the box to Bruce to start examining it, and Bruce ya know forgot Tim's birthday (Alfred didn't though <3)

(Robin #116)

They do some analysis, follow some leads, and narrow down the guy that delivered it at least. But ultimately they don't get very far before the box… activates, while Tim is alone away from Bruce. It shows a hologram message apparently from a dystopian future Alfred (from the year... 2012... for reference, this issue was written in 2003) who says that in his time period someone in the Bat Family is going to go bad and cause the bad future- and that Tim needs to stop them in present day before it’s too late. But the message is disrupted by Future!Alfred getting shot and killed with some laser thing before he can say who it was, right in front of Tim.

(Robin #117)

Which... well all of this is a lot on Tim's mind. He's torn between 'is it fake or real' and ultimately doesn't tell Bruce about what happened, instead deciding to try to handle this on his own. He at first thinks okay- it's gotta be fake, but who is trying to manipulate me with this and what are they trying to get me to do. He thinks someone is tailing him, and his prime suspect is Jaeger: a guy he'd gone up against a few times previously when dealing with monsters (Man-Bats and Charaxes). He runs into Dick (bc he wanted to wish Tim a happy belated birthday) who helps out- they stage a very convincing (they are ridiculous) fake fight to try to fool anyone potentially trailing Tim, this way Dick could then follow at a distance to observe and see if someone really was following him.

Ultimately though, nobody was tailing him, but Tim keeps investigating the Jaegar idea until eventually finding out he's actually in jail, so clearly not involved in this. When Tim gets home he's got an urgent message from Bruce, about some crazy new high-tech interrogation methods he used on the guy they tracked down, Yak, that had delivered the box to Tim's house and apparently unknowingly made it under a kind of hypnotic state.

(Robin #118)

And the voice from these recordings Bruce was able to get from Yak's mind, that gave him commands for building the box and delivering it? That's a voice Tim recognizes alright- it's the voice of the future Alfred! So now Tim is distressed because the hologram of future Alfred being real and him needing to stop a teammate going bad to prevent a bad future... is suddenly the most plausible scenario, and the only lead he's got.

Tim tries to go hook Yak back up to Bruce's new machine himself, to see if maybe the name that future Alfred got cut off from saying was somewhere hidden in his mind, but Yak had escaped his holding cell and in the ensuing fight he breaks the machine, so Tim can't use it. Instead he's stuck, forced to be paranoid about his friends- investigating them to see who could be the person that goes bad.

(However we do get a slight detour from the main plot to check in on some stuff with Steph- who'd been lying to Tim for the last few issues. Since finding out her dad died, rather than going home and facing her mom like she promised she would in Robin #111, she'd been renting a room on her own. Tim helps do some mediation with Steph and Crystal, so that she can feel comfortable going home again. Then that night he resumes investigation)

He trails Cass first (remember, this is 2003. She’s still like the newest Batfam member and the two of them aren't that close yet), but comes to no conclusions. He theorizes possible scenarios for how it could be Dick, then Babs, and we find out he spends about 10 days straight trailing basically all his Gotham allies trying to figure out who it could be.

He forms a plan to try to test his allies, by writing up a whole planned manifesto of the sort of ideals that led to the bad future according to that future Alfred, with the idea of showing/explaining it to each one and gauging their reaction (thinking that someone who didn't react extremely negatively could be the person who goes bad). However before trying this method out on anyone, he gets paranoid that maybe him doing this is the thing that plants the seed in someone's mind- and freaks out a bit... before-- WHAT?!

Future Alfred comes back- not just a hologram this time! A real physical person! He explains that more things happened in the future- yes Tim saw him die its okay they were able to fix it- but ultimately Tim starts noticing holes in his story, for example his robot arm suddenly being on a different hand than last time.

(Robin #120)

Tim rips off this guy's mask and it's- PRESENT DAY ALFRED?

(Robin #120)

The "Have a drink, sir. I don't care what your birthdate says-- after tonight, you are of age." as Alfred pulls out a flask fucking killed me the first time I read this, it's such a funny line in the middle of this tense mess.

But yeah, it's revealed this was all Bruce's doing. Tim calls it a trick, Bruce calls it training. The entire situation was basically a test of Tim's abilities, to take him to the "next level" and Bruce is overall pleased with how he did... despite then going on to point out some of the flaws in how Tim handled the situation.

(Robin #120)

"I mean really, time travel?" is infuriating. Bruce. You know damn well time travel has happened in this universe.

Timmy is, understandably, fucking pissed.

(Robin #120)

This is one of the not-too-common instances of Tim swearing (like, in a way that needs to be censored. That's what's rare for him, he uses 'damn' and 'hell' regularly like most teen characters). He kinda quits- and very seriously contemplates doing so for real because this whole thing seriously fucked with his head... but after venting to Steph about it, he ultimately decides to go back to Bruce.

But it uh... doesn't get... resolved. Bruce does not apologize. Tim doesn't ask him to. The story just... ends. The ending feels extremely rushed imo. This was the last issue of Lewis' run though (Willingham's run starts the next issue) so idk maybe he thought he'd have more time to spend on the aftermath and that just didn't happen, I don't really know how that transition between writers went since ya know it was 18 years ago.

But yes, anyways, while a lot of these events happen after the actual day, this all started with Bruce having the box delivered to Tim on his 16th birthday.

A slight side tangent to this already very long post- but I do wanna bring back up how Meghan Fitzmartin talked about picking Bernard for Sum of Our Parts because of Tim's mental/emotional state (feeling unsure about himself and his place in things) around the time he met Bernard... because this story is definitely something we could consider part of that. This birthday arc ends in Robin #120, and Tim first meets Bernard the following issue in Robin #121! Very shortly after that, Tim nearly decides to quit again- because he thinks he killed Johnny Warlock (in #123-124). When he gets out of that funk and decides to go full swing into Robin again- that's right when his dad finds out and makes him quit in #125 (Issues #126-128 are Steph's time as Robin... then we begin War Games. Tim goes back to Robin at the start of Act 2 of the event, in Detective Comics #798, so between Robin #129 and #130). As evidenced by this constant back and forth, this is absolutely a period where Tim is going through a lot of uncertainty and identity issues.

[the-witches-you-couldnt-burn]

It started with a whisper

I originally wrote ‘Like I did with you’ as a one-shot but people wanted a sequel. This turned out to be waaaaay longer than expected (4.7k word count). Inspired by Everybody Talks by Neon Trees. I hope you lot enjoy!

Ao3

(Also this is Mari’s new outfit, all credits go to the original artist)

————

Two teens stood upon the balcony of a large banquet hall, exposed to the midsummer night air. The sky was a lilac blanket that hung over the Parisian buildings, speckled with glowing stars. The moon, with it’s crescent smile, beamed down of the young couple.

Hey, baby, won't you look my way?

Marinette’s eyes were closed as she rested her head upon his shoulder, relaxing after the night’s rapid escalation. Tonight she had arrived at the ball with the intent to be there for her friends, but somehow she found herself within the arms of Gotham’s (and probably Paris’) Ice Prince. She had overheard his nickname from the Gotham students, one of which being Jon, who was in the middle of mocking the young Wayne. She had never considered that nickname as suitable; sure he was temperamental & had a tendency to snap, but icey to the core? No.

I can be your new addiction

Damian was calm. For the first time in his life he felt like he could take a breath. His exhale was carried off by a small gust of wind, the bush over hanging the stone railing rustled. With his inhale, the scent of Marinette’s perfume became present once more. Mixed with the crisp night’s air, her usual scent of pastries was mixed with what could only be described as ambrosia. His phone vibrated within his pocket, it was never on volume due to the potential risk it caused during his heroic activities.

“Shit.” Notifications covered his screen, multiple tweets, Instagrams and Tiktoks in which he had been tagged in. But the alert came from his family’s private messaging chat. The whole thread was a shit storm, Grayson and Todd’s messages were completely capitalised (he learnt years ago this meant ‘to yell’ in writing form) and both had multiple ‘keyboard spasms’. Drake, like the thorough detective he is, had combed through the images and videos, investigating their validity. His honorary sisters had replied with ‘awwwww’(s) and ‘Omg we MUST meet this girl! I need to know how she tamed the demon!’. He could practically hear Brown’s shrill voice from across the ocean.

Hey, baby, what you gotta say?

No reply from his father or Alfred. The two of them were the only semblance of ‘normal’ paternal figures he had within his life, after the sham of a relationship he had previously held with his grandfather. Their silence unnerved him.

Marinette had noticed his attention had shifted to his phone, her own mobile was buzzing away within her baby pink purse. Messages, notifications of account tagging and comments galore. A sigh left her lips when she saw her parents seemed to be none the wiser. Good, she didn’t need to deal with future adoration for ‘The boy who swept our daughter off of her feet’ (or something along those lines).

Her cheeks regained some of the warmth they held before as she thought of her parent’s reaction. Scrolling through her Twitter she saw her friends had posted multiple images of the night’s events, majority being her shared dance.

Chloé Bourgeois @TheBestBourgeois

what kind of Disney shit is this? (Insert video of two teens dancing around an mostly empty dance floor.)

Alix Kubdel @Sk8trGirl

Replying to @TheBestBourgeois

I KNOW RIGHT?! THEY WERE FUCKING FLOATING!!!

All you're giving me is fiction

She was thankful that they hadn’t tagged her but she hadn’t been spared by others in attendance. Her post thread had blown up, thousands had commented and even more had viewed the evidence. There was no way she would come out of this unscathed.

“Has anyone been on Twitter today?” The blonde of the family asked as she walked into the dining room. Her eyes focused on her scrolling screen, brows furrowed in confusion. “Actually has anyone seen what’s happening on any of our socials?”

It was early in the afternoon and the family had recently returned home after a straining stakeout. The Joker had broken out of Arkham and the Batfam had to deal with his minions. Dick’s arm was in a sling (sprained from a grapple gone wrong), Jason was icing his hand, Alfred was stitching Bruce’s chest wounds while Tim and the girls escaped without severe injuries. All were still recuperating and finally able to recharge.

Alfred always enforced a strict ‘no devices at the dinner table’ rule; no matter how urgent it was, it could wait until after sustenance was consumed. Tim strongly opposed this, but there was no arguing with Agent A. This all surmises that probably no one had seen the crap storm on social media.

I'm a sorry sucker and this happens all the time

Bruce sighed, bringing his free arm up to rub his eyes. Tilting his head back to look at Steph, “Who was it this time?” Barbara quickly took out her phone to see what Stephanie was talking about, all the while glancing accusingly at Dick and Jason. Both of whom held up their arms (or in Dick’s case arm), declaring their innocence.

“It wasn’t fucking me!”

“Jason! Language!” Dick shot a glare at Jason and was met with one in return. “It wasn’t me either.”

“Then who-“ Bruce started before being cut off by his most rambunctious daughter.

I found out that everybody talks

Stephanie with a squeal, exclaimed that it was Damian. Visions of what the Wayne brat could have done flashed through the heads of everyone in the room. He had been sent overseas before the quarantines and lockdowns hit. During Damian’s first month in France he had been forced into online schooling and then finally when he got to go to in-person classes he hated it. Described the class as a kindergarten with petty and vindictive toddlers.

Had he broken someone’s arm? Was that person of such importance that it had spread over multiple social media platforms? France’s government had announced on June 15th, that teens were now being inoculated so him having COVID-19 was doubtful. Had he insulted the wrong person? Had he taken over the government? He certainly had the potential.

Everybody talks, everybody talks

What they saw stunned them, even Steph as she watched it for the 7th time. Damian Wayne was dancing. But not only that, he was dancing with a girl.

It started with a whisper

“What is this shit?”

No one verbally objected to Jason’s outburst but he was sent a harsh glare from Alfred, Dick and Bruce. Their focus soon returned to the images and videos before them. Babs’ and Steph’s phones were returned to them as the others ran to grab their own devices. They all met back at the table, comparing the posts and comparing their notes.

I can hear the chitchat

“There’s no way this can be real.”

“Jesus Tim,” Barbara rolls her eyes, “have you seen the amount of posts there are? You’d be an idiot to think otherwise.”

Take me to your love shack

“I’m with Tim, how do we know this isn’t some skit. I mean, Demon Spawn almost looks normal. That’s a matter of concern.” He almost dry heaved when he agreed with Tim. Damian couldn’t be capable of naturally exuding that amount of humanity unless there was something in it for him.

Mamas always gotta backtrack

“I was just saying Babs, that we should check the credibility of these images. For all we know they could be gorilla glued together and trying to get unstuck.” Tim cringed at his own reasoning, he really needed to either sleep (probably not going to happen anytime soon) or find his favourite coffee brand (which had been one of the first to vanish after the covid hoarders appeared).

When everybody talks back

Dick was too busy freaking out and spam messaging the youngest Wayne, to defend Damian’s humanity. The family saw this and followed suit, wanting to get information from the source.

Chat name: Alfred supremacy

BigBird: AHHHHHH DAMIAN!

BigBird: YOU LOOK SO CUTE!!!

BigBird: HAIFJDNDNFI

LittleWing: WTF HAPPENED DEMON SPAWN YOU LOOK ALMOST HUMAN

Babs: who knew the city of love would influence the brat

Blondie: they are so cuteeeeeee!

Blondie: We HAVE to meet her!

Silent-but-deadly: agreed.

Timbo: YO DEMON

Timbo: Apparently the videos are legit

Timbo: are you being blackmailed?

And it just devolved into more chaos from there, fueled by the fact that they saw Damian’s ‘Blood Son’ account appear online before vanishing once more. Dick shrieked, “I FOUND HER ACCOUNT!”

The family gathered around the eldest son, peering over his shoulder to view his iPhone 12max screen. They saw a young girl’s Instagram account. It was locked but they could see her profile pic, the girl had black hair and looked to be if Asian decent. They compared it to the videos but it was hard to see due to the hall’s lighting and the minimised facial features of the pfp. Alfred suggested that they search up her username and see who has tagged her, some might have other photos of her.

After research for awhile, the family began to get frustrated with lack of results.

Hey honey you could be my drug

You could be my new prescription

“Come on!” Jason complained, “What kind of teenage girl doesn’t post her life online?” He ignored the girls glares and went back to researching. How had the account by the name of ‘mariiiiinette’ to managed to prevent the entire Wayne clan from accessing it? Damn Instagram privacy settings. He groaned, dragging a hand down his face, “We are fucking stupid. Why don’t we just use the Bat-computer? It would be so much fucking easier.”

“It shouldn’t be used for civilian issues-“

Too much could be an overdose

“The girl could be a meta for all we know! We aren’t safe until we know who she is.” Jason points a finger at Tim, his paranoia flared up and even though he would never admit it, Jason would do anything to protect each member of his family (although Bruce is still debatable).

All this trash talk make me itching

Barbara and Tim took their usual positions as Oracle and Red Robin (who had been banned from patrol due to lack of sleep). The rest of the Batfam stood behind them either with arms crossed or still failing at researching.

Oh my my shit

“The account is owned by a girl called Marinette Dupian-Cheng. She is French-Chinese and her parents own a popular bakery. Also if it wasn’t already obvious, she goes to Collège Françoise Dupont, aka Damian’s French school.” Tim begun informing his nosy family, “But this account has been inactive for the past 6 months, which is strange due to her frequent posting schedule before hand. It seems she probably has a second account and this is her old one.”

Everybody talks, everybody talks

“Not only that,” Barbara interrupted. “There are unopened messages from other accounts that accuse her of being a bully. There is a whole Facebook page about this girl and how she has been hurting her old friends, but neither side seems reliable. The so called victims seem to be twisting the truth but there is barely any information about Marinette so we can’t disprove it either.”

“Read out some of the messages.” Bruce took a cup of coffee from Alfred and sipped it.

The main screen of the bat computer displayed a Facebook group with the banner picture being a photo of Marinette. “They are mostly complaints expected of teen girls when there is a girl they don’t like; ‘Marinette is such a know-it-all’, ‘She is constantly insulting Lila’s intelligence’. They go on to talk about how Marinette was briefly expelled from the Collège before being reinstated by the principle for a reason unknown to them.”

Everybody talks too much

“Her school reports up until this year were good. The newest one states, ‘While Marinette is a wonderful and bright student, I encourage her to settle her disagreements outside of class. This seems to only be a recent occurrence and I implore her to go to the guidance council if she is in need of help.’” A beat of silence echoes through the cave, Tim sighed. “Jason’s meta theory could be correct. She could have just recently started exhibiting her abilities and using them to get what she wants.”

“Bruce what do you want to do?”

“We’re going to Paris.”

She opened her eyes to the blaring morning light that streamed through the blinds. Her lashes still painted with mascara that refused to leave. She felt a pang of sorrow when she was removing her makeup and dress last night, she never wanted the night to end. She shuffled down the stairs to the kitchen, covering her mouth when she yawned. She greeted her mother as she entered the kitchen to get breakfast.

She glanced at her phone and there was the chaos that was started hours ago and it was still occurring. It was the weekend, she wouldn’t need to deal with her classmates until Monday. But she would still have to survive her parent’s interrogation. Out of the corner of her eye she caught her mother smirking at her.

Everybody talks

“Nadja told me some interesting news about last night.” Marinette held her breath, glaring at the toaster, willing it to hurry up so she could escape. “Well,” Sabine patted her shoulder before rubbing Mari’s back. “I know you didn’t want to go but I hope you had fun.”

With that she exited the kitchen, probably going to help her father in the bakery. The ravenette stared after her, eye widened in shock, jumping when the toaster went off. Buttering her toast she went over the conversation, her brows furrowed in confusion. She had expected a ‘When do I get to meet the oh so famous prince?’ or ‘Should I be expecting a new guest sometime in the near future?’ or at least a ‘Who was that young man, Bǎozàng (宝藏 it means treasure)?’ But she said nothing.

A small smile was plastered upon her face as she changed and went down to help her parents in the bakery. Her father didn’t say anything either, he gave her a knowing smile before continuing to kneed the dough. She sat at the the store front as the cashier whilst her parents were busy making ‘Paris’s Finest Pastries’.

Her musings slowly faded as she was brought back to reality by badly hushed whispers. Two young preteens were by the bread roll casing near the door. She had seen them come in before with their parents, the girls went to the prestigious international school over in the 16th arrondissement. The one with purple hair kept whispering to the brunette, both ‘subtly’ glancing towards her. Using her enhanced hearing she listened in on their conversation.

“That’s her, I swear that’s her in the video.”

The blonde’s face soured likes she sucked on a lemon. “No, it wasn’t good lighting there is no way he would dance with someone like her.”

Everybody talks

Marinette had tough skin but their words had an impact, only a small one due to her defence mechanism of repressing emotions. She stopped listening and went back to drawing in her sketchpad, she was in desperate need of a new school outfit.

The two girls eventually came up to the counter, goods in hand. Marinette rung up and bagged their items (paper because save the turtles sksksk) in a tired daze. A phone was shoved into her face, her eyes barely adjusted to view the screen before the blonde spoke.

“Is this your instagram?” She asked in a tone so snobbish that it should be illegal from a person her age. Marinette finally was able to view the screen that was barely an inch from her face. Her old Instagram ‘mariiiiinette’ was displayed on screen, she hesitantly nodded, gaze flicking back to the two in front of her.

The blonde’s nose scrunched up and the purple goth girl squealed in delight. They soon after left the store, their conversation had devolved into ‘See! I told you’ and ‘Yeah, yeah. You were right.’

Walking to school on Monday, she had finally come down from cloud nine. She still rode the tail end of her high as she rushed along her path to her campus, she wasn’t going to be late but she sure wasn’t going to be early. She had spent the better part of the weekend designing and sewing a brand new outfit. Her new look was composed of a black cropped singlet (L'amour gagne hemmed into it and it’s straps), paired matching peach plaid cropped overshirt and a-line miniskirt. Her hair was down, ballet flats were worn and her makeup was the usual with the added edition of a rose gold eyeshadow.

Even though her face was covered in a black and gold mask, she looked hot.

She reached the campus and the whispers started again, people were still buzzing from Friday night. Her classmates, the majority of her grade and the younger years seemed to gossiping before class about the formal’s events. She couldn’t spot any of her friends or the two Gotham transfers, so she was stuck listening the the chitchat. Why couldn’t she have been late like usual?

Damian had a fowl disposition and it showed in multiple icey glares (and that was before he even reached the collège). His family had made their appearance known in Paris at 1am Sunday morning. He could have used his dorm to escape but his family didn’t have the word ‘privacy’ within their vocabulary. He didn’t want to have to pay for a lock replacement due to his brothers’ (most likely Todd with Drake & Grayson laughing at him) lock picking habit.

The Ice Prince was back with full force. He had just been... influenced by all the other couples. Yes he did respect Dupain-Cheng and he appreciated her company & pleasant conversations. He would struggle to hide a small smile at the memory of the dance, even if he denied himself the happiness of normality, he felt content when reminiscing.

“Ooo the Ice Prince is here, did he have a fight with his princess or something?” The voice seemed to mock him.

“The Disney Magic is gone. The demon is back.”

Everybody talks

At the second jeer he shot a glare at the perpetrator. Jon held his hands up in an ‘I surrender manner’, laughing as he joined Damian at his side. The two entered the school’s large foyer and looked to see if any of the classes were open yet. Sadly they weren’t, before he was wrong and the his class was plain torture but this was truely hell.

He saw Dupain-Cheng sitting alone on the stairs, drawing within her sketchpad. He wondered how a girl like her, who always seemed to be involved in other’s lives (for the better) was ignoring all of the comments about her. She felt his focus centre on her, eyes flicking up to meet his, she provided him with a small wave before continuing to draw.

Jon nudged him with an elbow to his ribs and dragged him off to the side, into the boy’s locker rooms. Jon scowled at the door, “It’s a mad house out there. You’ve heard what some people are saying right?”

“Why would I care about these imbeciles?”

Jon jabbed Damian in the chest, causing the demon to stumble. Green eyes darted from blue eyes to the tan finger. “You care when lies hurt people you care about.”

The day began to rapidly decline once the two dance partners took their seats, next to each other. They had both been placed up the back of the class and them sitting together hadn’t been a problem until now apparently. She wasn’t even safe when the teacher started their lecture, whispers and glances were cast towards them. Once the two got to biology it was better, Ms Mendeleiev was a strict teacher and was able to control the class.

Everybody talks

But the recess came. When the bell rang she slowly started packing up her equipment, Alix and Max (who she shared biology with) waited for her; she watched as the Ice Prince left through the door. She knew she didn’t need to be concerned about her friends joining in with the gossiping, if anything they would dispel people and tell them to ‘Mind their own fucking business’ because this whole situations is ridiculous, utterly ridiculous.

She did receive some slight teasing from Alix about being a Disney princess, but Marinette quipped back about the skater’s fairytale story being ‘Pinknette, the Geek and the Beast’. The three met up with the other two of their group, they had just come from geography. Kim was complaining that Argentina was a state in America.

“That’s Arkansas you idiot!” Chloe shrieked, lightly hitting his arm with her white handbag. Max held his head in his hand as he approached, how had his tutoring sessions failed so badly?

Chloe turned to Marinette, a smile forming from her glare. The blonde examined the designer’s clothing, nodding. “You look like you are about to have a hot girl summer.”

Marinette’s face burned, the tips of her ears coated in red. Alix chuckled and nudged her shoulder.

Everybody talks

“Look at her, she is so desperate for his attention that she probably copied those designs.”

“Why do you think he danced with her anyways? Maybe she has something on him? I mean, she forces him to sit next to her in class, who knows what else she has done.”

What. The. Fuck.

Chloe glowered towards Lila’s posy. “We have a fucking seating plan, those cretins-“ She made a motion to storm over but was caught by the ravenette, looking back to Mari, her rage decreased from a boil to a simmer.

“No Chlo. It’s fine, it’s not worth it.”

Everybody talks... back

The group walked out to the school’s front steps, it was a mad house... a mad courtyard? Students sitting on the stairs, on the grass and standing around mingling, all of them now were staring at her. She held her backpack close to her chest (she had swapped her signature coin-bag purse for the pastel pink bag), pretending its a shield. Her friends circled around her becoming an obstacle to prevent their stares. If people were afraid of a scowling Kim then they don’t know the scorn of Chloe or Alix’s bite. And Max, sweet quiet Max.... you better hope he doesn’t have blackmail on you (he probably does), he can dismantle your life with a single anonymous post.

Rushed footsteps approached them. The group was broken apart by a rude Wayne boy, he swept Mari away from the school and the gossip crowds within. Her four friends shouted at him and he kept walking, shooting a glare at them in response. He kept pushing Marinette forward with a hand placed on the small of her back, her backpack was now swung over his other shoulder.

They ended up in her favourite alcove. She had brought him here with the other Gotham transfers for a native’s tour of Paris. It had always been her safe place to be creative.

It started with a whisper (everybody talks, everybody talks)

“My apologises for our rushed departure but you seemed to want to get out of their anyhow.” His gruff tone danced through the silence, his head still peaking around the corner; watching for any unwelcome guests.

“Thank you.” She whispered, her voice almost being carried off by the gentle wind. A genuine smile illustrated upon her face.

“We weren’t able to converse after the events of the other night. I would like to formally apologise once more for my actions causing this adverse reaction. If I had kn-“

“You don’t need to apologise!” She squeaked, hiding her eyes behind her fisted hand. Her shoulders curled inwards as she tried to make herself seem as small as possible, a side effect of her common use of her secondary miraculous form: Multimouse.

“I chose to dance with you, you don’t need to apologise for my own actions.” He stared at her with confusion. He had taken the blame so she wouldn’t need to do so herself; but she had taken it anyways. He had given her an out. Why does she always take the blame, even for things out of her control?

“But if I hadn’t danced with you then you wouldn’t have been the focus of the entire school.”

Marinette stepped forward, her eyes hardened and blazing. “Damian Friday night I went there out of obligation to my friends, I didn’t want to be there. But dancing with you? That was the highlight of my week, probably my month too. I enjoyed our time together.” Her face softened, lips twitched downwards ever so slightly. “I don’t regret anything about that night, but do you?”

He was bad at comfort. Everyone in his family avoided him when they were in need, he plainly didn’t know what to do. She wasn’t visibly upset but he sensed that she is disappointed that he apparently didn’t share the same opinion of the night. The only thing he regretted about that night was letting Jon call him a coward, but then again if he didn’t he never would have danced with Dupa- Marinette.

He picked up her clenched hand, the tension in her body alleviated at his embrace. He remembered how Grayson would apologise to Kor’i or how his father interacted with Ms Kyle. He brought their hands up and placed a kiss upon her knuckles.

And that was when I kissed her (everybody talks, everybody talks)

“I do not regret anything either—“ he cleared his throat, “In fact, I’d appreciate if we would be able to interact more, especially outside of that cesspit.”

Was he...?

It didn’t matter.

She smiled the same dazzling smile she gave him at the dance. She nodded while laughing, “I’d love that.”

Everybody talks

The two stay talking, hidden within their secret alcove for the rest of the day. She texted her parents to say she was with a friend and would be back later that night. Damian didn’t bother texting his family, Marinette knew he had to be back soon due to his dorm’s curfew.

The sun was setting at they walked back together, he did the gentlemanly thing and dropped her off at her bakery door. She could see her mother behind the register inconspicuously looking over at the two of them. Damian’s lips quirked upwards, she was satisfied with his kinda-smile.

He walked back, hands in pockets and a neutral expression upon his face instead of a scowl. He reached his door and took his keys, he found that it was already open. Damn.

His family was splayed out within his two roomed dorm. Todd and Drake were fighting over a place to sit on his bed, whilst his father sat at his desk, watching the commotion. The three of them turned to him as he enter the room, they were the only family members able to attend on short notice; Cain had a ballet audition, Gordon & Brown had concert tickets for tomorrow, Grayson had to take care of Mar’i while Kor’i was on Tamaran and Alfred stayed to ensure no one died during their night time activities.

“We need to talk Damian.” His father stood, leaning onto the desk chair. “The school called and said you had an unexcused absence for half the day. Where were you Damian?”

Damian stared into his father’s eyes. He was fifteen, almost an adult, but was treated like he was ten again.

“I was with a friend.”

“Probably the girl from the dance. Marinette, right?” Todd mocked him. Damian snapped his head in the direction of his bed, glaring at both his brothers.

“That’s what I want to talk about with you Damian. Now I don’t know her personally but from what we’ve discovered through our investigation we have some concerns. What’s happened Damian?”

The youngest Wayne’s glare shifted off of his brothers to the floor, and then finally to his father; his family sitting in wait for his answer. Straightening his posture, his shoulders clicked as he rolled then back. His statement’s tone was sure and steady, “Everybody talks father.”

Everybody talks... back

[pyaarii]

Oral Sadism and Literary Arguments

A/N : Ok, so, like enemies to lovers???? slow burn??? literature??? fuck me.

/ Masterlist /

Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader (College AU)

Word Count: 6k

Summary: There’s probably only one thing worse than chauvinist literature, and that’s the sardonic boy who sits two rows behind in Lit class with his torn paperbacks and ineffable aversion.

“Well, I actually disagree with you,”

If you didn’t have that much self-control, you would’ve snapped the pencil you were holding in half, as you heard a deep voice speak up behind you, and before you could retort, Professor Gordon spoke,

“And why’s that Jason?”

“I think Bukowski was trying to present how men will hide their inner thoughts and feelings, really their sensitivity in that aggression as an attempt at protection.” Jason spoke up, his voice boiling your blood as the rest of the class stayed in relative silence, as you turned around to look at him as he stared directly at you,

“I’m sorry, protection? What part about misogyny and blatant objectification of women as only being sexual objects that can be discarded and picked up when he pleases passes as protection? Women that are empty and uncharacterised to the extent the reader begins to agree with Chinaski that yes, women are less. Women are not important. And women don’t require compassion and consent, what part of any of this reminds you about goddamn male – “

“All right, I think that’s enough for today.” Gordon interrupted your heated rant with a sigh, which you share and quickly turn around close your eyes to try and avoid the weight of Jason’s stare as Gordon begins to dismiss the class.

“All right everyone, I hope you took something useful from that discussion, though I’m not sure if you would classify that as a discussion,” He added sarcastically, before continuing, “I expect you all to have brief outlines planned out for next week, and please try to work as collaboratively as you can with your partner to do so.”

The last part was directed at you and Jason – though neither of you payed proper attention – while the rest of the class let out small snickers.

“Right then, class dismissed, and uh, you two, could you both please stay behind for a minute.”

Fucking great. You thought to yourself, even though Gordon didn’t specify both you and Jason, his tired expression tells you otherwise and you start collecting your notes and pens into your bag in a silent fury and made your way to the front of the class, where Gordon was leaning against his oak desk, watching both of you stand in front of him – not casting a single glance towards the other as you waited for him to speak. He sighs,

“I don’t think you both understand how frustrating it is when your top students both have it out for each other and can’t hold a single civil discussion before arguing like little children,” He begins, becoming more wary as he continues, “Which is why I paired you up for this assignment and I fully expect you both to work together, and I hope I can expect that from you?”

He looked at both of you with an expectant look, and Jason only nodded curtly as a response, and you did the same but decided to chirp in,

“That’s great that you think we’ll be able to work together, sir, but on a totally unrelated note, how would my grade be impacted if my partner was suddenly mauled by a car over the weekend and was unable to complete the project with me?” You spoke, voice deadpanning, as your professor barely restrained in a smile while Jason looked at you with an empty expression.

“I would say that would be a fail as you missed the premises of ‘working with a partner’, as well as some serious legal consequences.” He replied, somehow maintaining a serious look as he spoke.

“That’s great to know sir.” You spoke, nodding along before he dismisses you both, leading you to quickly walk out of the classroom, breathing out a sigh of relief as you see Barbara leaning against the wall, busy on her phone, waiting for you to come out.

“What took you so long,” She asks as soon as she hears your sigh, pocketing her phone, and linking her arm with yours,

��I swear to God, one day, I might as well skin him – “

“Look, if I had known before that you could be so dramatic, I would’ve told you to choose drama as your major.”

“Ha. So funny. It’s just – fuck him.” You say the last part under your breath as you turned around to see nobody in the empty hallway.

“You two are really something else.” She states, making you roll your eyes.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s supposed to mean that you and Jason are really annoying. And petty.”

“Well, he’s the one that needs to contradict and compete against every single fucking thing I say, every single fucking time! It’s really fucking annoying,” Barbara only rolls her eyes in amusement. “And Gordon paired us up together for this project, and, God, I just can’t do anything with him without wanting to punch him in his stupid face.”

“I know, and that’s exactly why Gordon paired you both up, he really likes you both and he wants you both to stop having this weird rivalry between each other.”

“Wait. You knew?”

“Well yeah. I’m his daughter.”

“Well, why didn’t you tell me then?”

“Because I like seeing you suffer.”

“You know, you’re a terrible friend.”

“Thank you,” She replies, with a small laugh, before she links her arm with yours again and whips out her phone to frantically shoot another text as she lets out a deep sigh. “Where is Steph? She took my car this morning and said she’d pick us up.”

“You let her drive your Bentley?” You ask, surprised she would give Stephanie one of her most prized possessions.

“Yeah, I know,” She spoke, absorbed in her phone, “But, she promised me that she would keep it safe, and we all know that I will kill her if something happens to it.”

“I do.” You reply, a small laugh escaping your lips before a blue Bentley pulled up in front of you both, causing Barbara to quickly pull open the door and shuffle inside, leaving you to chuckle to yourself before making your way to the back seat of the car, the blaring music making you wince as you enter the car but Babs quickly turns it off as both of you settle in.

“See! Your car is perfectly fine, just like I told you it would be!” Steph smugly announced, her blonde curls bouncing wildly as Barbara stared at her unimpressed, before both of them fall into their routine bickering as, this time, Babs begins to criticise her driving and apparent ‘mishandling of the most precious thing to me’, while you only roll your eyes at their antics before pulling out your phone to scroll through the messages you’ve missed throughout the day.

“Hey,” Steph’s voice shakes you out of your thoughts as you meet her eyes through the rear-view mirror, “What’s up with you today?”, her seemingly innocent question provokes a snicker from Babs – to which she receives a smack on the shoulder from you.

“What?” Steph inquires further.

“Nothing, why don’t you ask miss ‘I-fucking-hate-Jason-Todd’ here.”

“Fuck off, Barbara.” You grit out, glaring at her through the rear-view mirror.

“God, both you and Jason actually act like children,” Stephanie chimes in, “You’re both almost the same but you both compete against each other against every little thing – “.

“Are we done talking about Todd?” You retort, ignoring Steph’s comment, “I have better things to do than think about him.”

“Mhmm, sure.” Barbara winks at you and it takes a lot for you not to launch at her right there, in the car but Steph draws your attention away by babbling about some boy she met in her criminology class and the conversation in the car gradually fizzles out, until Steph asks,

“You guys heard about the party this weekend, right,” A matching ‘yes’ from you and Babs prompts her to continue, “Well, you’re going then, right?”

“I don’t know, but why’re you so pressed about it?” Bars questions, with a raised eyebrow.

“No reason, I’m just curious.”

“It’s Tim, isn’t it?” This time, you pipe in, and Steph almost yells,

“No. No, it’s not!”

“Oh my god. Of course it is.” Babs laugh echoes with yours as you eye Steph in the rear-view mirror, to see a blush dusting her cheeks as she quiets down.

“Whatever, are you coming or not.”

“After this conversation, yeah I am.”

“God. I hate you both.”

Standing in the corner of the party, nursing a red solo cup of something that burns your throat when you drink it, you regret not saying anything in the car against attending this party.

You’re currently standing alone, both Steph and Babs have completely disappeared into crowd, as Dick had shown up and quickly whisked her away as soon as you all entered the apartment, whereas Steph has promised to get you a drink about twenty minutes ago but never came back and as you try to block out the reverberating EDM music blasting through the room, you make your way towards the kitchen to re-fill your cup (the one that you went and got yourself), before something catches your attention in the peripheral vision.

It’s a wispy haired girl, her eyes smudged with mascara, backed against the wall of the kitchen – away from the main crowd, you could pick from her body language a sense of uncomfortability as she was drunkenly shaking her head at a man who towered in front of her, making you stop in your tracks to watch the scene unfold right in front of you, before quickly changing your course towards their direction, already knowing the identity of the man in front of the girl, without seeing his face.

“Hey, Cyrus, get the fuck away from her!”

As soon as you reach them, and the words leave your mouth, another raucous voice speaks at the same time as you.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

Cyrus and the girl in front of him stop at their hushed conversation, to look away from each other and face you both while you also look at Jason – with a shocked expression – standing next to you and before you can say anything, Cyrus lets go of his hold on the girl before turning to glare at you.

“I don’t see how any of this is any of your business?”

You restrain yourself from physically hurling at him and fist your hands at your sides before looking at him with an unimpressed look.

“I don’t see how any of this is your business either, Beck? Thought daddy said that he’ll pull you out of school if he had to deal with your stupid behaviour again, or did you forget about it?”

“I swear to god – “

He tries to step closer to you but Jason steps in front of you before he can do anything else, and mutters,

“How about you fucking walk away before something worse happens?”

Beck shrugs of Jason’s hold on him before walking away and pointing a finger at you.

“You’re such a fucking bitch, you know that?”

“Should’ve said that to your daddy when he said I was best fucking person he’s ever met.”

He looks at you wildly and is about to retort before one of his friends pulls his attention to a game of beer-pong happening in another corner of the party and the whole scene stops for a second. You watch with a held breath as within a fraction of a second, a cocky smile overtakes his face and his shoulders relax as he runs his hands through his dark hair, leaving with his friend and you quickly turn around to see the girl, still standing there, her arms wrapped around her body and a shocked expression on her face.

It takes you a second, but you manage to gently coax her to the hallway outside the apartment and Jason (unbeknownst to you) follows in your footsteps.

“Do you want me to call you a cab, or can I drop you off?”

She shakes her head and is about to say something before Jason interjects,

“I can take her home.”

Both you and the girl turn around and stare at him and you quickly shake your head, diverting your gaze away from him,

“It’s fine Todd, I’ve got this.”

He sighs.

“Will you just let me help her?”

“Well, I’ve already told you that I’ve got this under control, so I don’t see why you’re being so – “

“Oh - uh, you don’t have to worry about me, I can uh – go home myself.”

“No. I – uh mean, let us take you home just to make sure that everything will be okay.”

A meek smile overtakes her face as you squeeze her hand lightly and you offer a half-smile in return.

“Us?” Jason’s voice perks up and you turn around,

“Well, I don’t have a car. If you want, I can come with you and drop her off at her place but – “

“Yeah, sure. Come on.”

His voice is clipped as he moves past you both, turning around the end of the hallway, leading you both to quickly follow him as well.

“Wait. I never asked you for your name.” You gently rest place your hand on her shoulder, making her stop and quietly giving her name,

“It’s Anna.”

...

By the time you’ve left Anna’s apartment complex, the small talk in the car dwindles down as you both sit, unnerved in the dimmed light of the car, the silence suffocatingly awkward. It doesn’t change until he pulls up to the curb, facing the entrance to your apartment building.

“Thanks.”

It’s quiet enough that you didn’t expect that he’d actually hear you. Let alone, grab your wrist before you leave, an incredulous expression on his shadowy face.

“Thanks? That’s it. You’re not going to say anything about what’s just happened?”

“Well, what the fuck do you want me to say.”

“I don’t know.”

“Well neither do I. Look. Thanks for dropping me off and Anna. That’s it. I don’t have anything else to say to you.”

He doesn’t say anything and let’s go of his hold on your wrist before you quickly slip out of the car, not realising the force at which you push, slams the door shut, making you internally wince. But in your peripheral vision, you can see he doesn’t look at you, with his face staring forward and grip tight on the wheel.

His car’s gone further and turned the corner before you’ve even made it to the entrance doors, and you breath in the cold October air, letting the wind whip across your bare skin, goosebumps rising while standing in a pathetically insulating satin dress, your thoughts pummeling through your mind without fully understanding them and you sigh again.

“What did you say to him after that?”

“Babs, I’m already – “

You stop midway through your hushed conversation with Barbara to see a disheveled Jason noisily weave his way through the shelves, towards the table at the back of the library you had occupied with Barbara.

“Sorry, I – “

“If you weren’t really going to care about this assignment, you should’ve said something before showing up thirty minutes late.” You deadpan, voice steely and brows furrowed.

“Will you fucking listen to me?” he breathlessly cuts you off from saying anything else as he drops his books on the table.

“I’ll head out now.” Barbara mutters to you, squeezing your arm and slinging her bag over her shoulder before quietly slipping out of sight. You rested your chin in your propped arm, waiting for Jason to continue,

“Well, what’s your excuse?”

“I don’t have an excuse. I was caught up in call with my father, it ended up being longer than I expected.”

You stare at him for a moment, his eyebrows also furrowed and hair sticking in all directions as he breathes heavily.

“Whatever, just complete the outline of notes I made for you.” You replied, pushing pieces of sticky notes and highlighted papers, that you had been picking at for the past half hour, towards his direction.

In about fifteen minutes, you’re both working in relative silence apart from the occasional remarks on the thesis and clarification on handwritings. There’s also been the perpetual looks on Jason’s part, and regardless of how much you try to block them, it itches at you to confront him about his irritating tendency.

“What Jason? What do you want now?”

His expression is firstly, taken aback, and then he coughs before asking,

“Did you ever talk to the girl after the party?”

You nod slowly, eyes still trained on the table, curving letters on colour-coded sticky notes before replying,

“Yeah, Stephanie’s their R.A, so I went and checked up on them the day after the party, she’s doing fine.”

You think that’s the end of his curiosity, but the pit of anxiety in your stomach and his next question, makes you internally want to bang your head against the alder wood table.

“And, uh, what about Beck?

Now, you stop writing with your pen and look up at him instead, resting your chin on your propped hand again, with a bored expression splayed on your face to try and detract from the internal anxiety, for both yourself and him.

“What about him?”

He doesn’t say anything at first and for a moment you think he might snap like he did in the car a few nights ago, but he only closes his eyes in frustration as you cock your head to one side.

“If you’re wondering if he’s going to face consequences for what he does – then no.”

There’s no verbal response except for a quizzical expression and you almost roll your eyes at him.

“I swear to God Jason, do you live under a fucking rock?”

“I just – look if you’re gonna be a bitch about it, then fucking leave it.”

“Maybe if you’d like to stop yelling in the goddamn library, I can fucking say something.” You almost hiss at him, voice seething as you both glare at each other.

“Anyways, you probably know that Beck’s the son of the headmaster, yeah, yeah, anyways, he’s always been a fucking creep around parties, but he’s never like you know, ever gotten that far.”

Jason raises an eyebrow at your hushed whispers.

“Like, he just trails around parties looking to either fight someone or just annoy them the fuck out but usually someone stops him before he can do something worse. But, still doesn’t mean that he isn’t a fucking asshole anyways – and his dad and him have like the worst fucking relationship ever, he’s threatened to pull him out a bunch of times of school because he’s so shit.”

You lower your voice even further at the last past, that you’re not sure if he can even hear you.

“How do you know all this?”

You shake your head and trail your eyes back to the unfinished notes in front of you.

“That’s unimportant. He’s a whiny trust-fund brat and I don’t know why someone hasn’t punched him yet.”

That silences Jason for a moment. And the moment doesn’t last long before your phone’s alarm blares through the silence of the library and you quickly move to silence it and Jason eyes question you but you don’t respond, instead move to disorderly throw all the pens and highlighters into your bag and grab as many papers you could in one go before quickly whispering,

“I’ve gotta go.”

“Wait – “

“Look. I promised I’d help a friend out with something. I’ll let you know when I’m free again.”

Jason doesn’t have a chance to say anything else before you’ve flitted through the haze of bookshelves out of view.

“What happened to the guy your dad set you up with?”

“Darian?”

Babs doesn’t look up from her place on the vanity table as she touches up her makeup while you’re sat on the table with a plastic fork prodding the edges of one of the Halloween themed chocolate cakes Babs attempted to bake for the party.

“Yeah, the one with the hair, right?”

“The hair?”

She casts a pointed look at you through the mirror, but you only take in another forkful of chocolate icing before answering,

“Yeah, he had like the most voluminous hair I’ve ever fucking seen.”

“Really? Well he had the most boring personality that I’ve ever fucking seen.”

She barely contains a smile at your comment while her own snarky comment elicits a snort from you but before you can say anything else, the frantic clicking of Stephanie’s (beloved) d’orsay heels against the linoleum floor followed by her quickly making her way into the dimly lit bedroom causes the room to fall into silence.

“You’re not ready yet?”

Her voice holds an accusatory tone and Babs quickly scoffs,

“I’m trying. But somebody keeps distracting me by asking unimportant questions.”

“Excuse me. I’m trying to be a good friend and keep up with my friend’s life.”

“Please. It sounds more like you want to know more about Darian.”

Before you can retort to her statement, Steph’s voice cuts in,

“Darian? Who’s that?”

“A guy I went on a date with a while ago.” Babs replies with a roll of her eyes, pulling out a scarlet lipstick tube from her make-up bag.

“ – That your dad set you up with.” You finish for her and Stephanie laughs.

“Since when is Professor Gordon a dating guru?”

“Since fucking never,” Babs replies, this time, twisting the cap of her lipstick. “It was just some guy in the forensic unit that he probably felt bad for being single and alone, but he shouldn’t have, ‘cause he didn’t have a fucking personality even if he tried.”

“Well that sucks. Anyways, are you both ready?” She pulls out her phone out of the bag she’d brought and starts typing.

“Or, you know, at least tried to be ready?” This time, she eyes you pointedly and you let out a noise of protest while stuffing another forkful of chocolate cake in your mouth.

“I’m sorry not all of us have devoted our whole fucking lives curating every Halloween costume known to man!”

This was something you’d noticed since you’d come back to Gotham and had been forced to attend Halloween parties – nearly everyone you’d encountered was practically obsessed with the celebration – and one of those people was Barbara. So much so, that every year she held a Halloween party and planned it more profusely than you’ve ever seen her do anything else. Her love also came with a heightened scrutiny for your enthusiasm – or lack thereof – for the holiday.

Which was why you were currently sat, dressed in a black boat neck dress with a flimsy witch hat resting on your head as you decimated one of Babs’ rejected Halloween cakes – yet the worst part was that it was currently early December (midterms being pushed back made it impossible to have it in October) and the last thing you’d wanted was to attend this party but Babs had personally threatened to drag you there to complete her and Steph’s wish of doing a group costume.

“It’s only you, you know.” Steph retorts, head cocking to one side and blonde curls hanging over her shoulder, “Now, let’s go, let’s go!”

About three hours later, you’ve found yourself nursing a cup of cheap bar (the number, you’re pretty sure that you’ve lost count of), eyeing a clique of literature students, who are currently in the midst of an argument while you stand in the corner of the room, trying to avoid them recognizing you out of their peripheral vision.

“What’re you doing?”

“What the – “ You quickly turn around to see a tall figure dressed in black staring down at you quizzically, and then you realize that it’s Jason Todd.

“Todd, what the fuck do you want.” You hiss – not at all in the mindset to have a conversation with him at the moment – while trying to remain quiet enough so that you don’t attract any unwanted attention.

“I should be asking you,” He taunts back. “You’re the one sulking around the party and hiding in places.”

You don’t try to reply to his response but offer another front of argument that throws all sensibility of your previous claim of not wanting to fight Jason out of the window.

“I don’t fucking understand, why can’t you just leave me alone?”  

“Don’t flatter yourself. I’m just trying to talk to you and you’re blocking everyone’s way.”

“Well, I’m not moving. So, they can find another way.”

“Are you fucking serious,” His voice raises. “You’re actually acting like a – “

“Shut up. Will you.” You hiss, pushing both of you further into the corner, so the bi-fold doors hide you better from the view of the group.

“What are you – “

“Morgan and his stupid friends keep trying to argue with me about some shit literature and won’t leave me alone.”

“Why?” There’s an edge to his voice which you pretend not to hear by avoiding his eyes.

“Beats me.”

He falters at the hostility of the comment – or lack thereof and you don’t say anything else but instead move to carefully peer pass the maple doors to scan for the group you’ve been avoiding amongst the mass of people in the room and as soon as you can’t see them you quickly move past Jason, to the to the cantilever staircase, without registering Jason’s footsteps trailing behind yours until you’ve reached the top and the overwhelming music and yelling from the party subdues a little and you let out a breath of relief before you see Jason also reaching the top of the stairs.

“Are you fucking following me?”

“No. Barbara and Stephanie were looking around for you and I was helping them.”

That lessens your anger a little and then confusion settles.

“Why?”

“I wanted to apologise to you.”

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in and find yourself a little speechless.

“I – I meant why were they were looking for me but go on.”

“Oh,” You think you see his cheeks tint pink a little but with the dim lighting dancing shadows on his face, you’re not sure. “Well, I wanted to say sorry about the last class we had with Gordon.”

He takes a pause to slightly mess with his hair by running a hand through it.

“You were right about Bukowski – I – I don’t know why I said all of that shit.”

Looking back at this moment, you think it’s not your brightest because somehow his rather heartfelt confession falls almost deaf on your ears and somehow the narrative in your mind shifts to something else entirely.

“Is this some sort of joke, Todd?”

“What?”

“Did Morgan put you up to this shit? I know you and I don’t get along but siding with him is real fucking low, you know?”

“I – “

“I can’t fucking believe that you’re listening to all their bullshit and agreeing with them. It’s so – “

“No. What the fuck is wrong with you?” He cuts you off and his voice raises considerably. “I’m trying to fucking apologize to you and all your doing is being a bitch again.”

That silences you, but he continues.

“You know, I’ve tried. I’ve tried everything to understand what I did to fuck up with you, I’ve asked Barbara and Stephanie and – just, fuck, why did I listen to Dick?”

He mutters the last part, but you catch it anyway but still no response forms in your head at all, instead new questions pop-up as Jason runs another frantic hand through his ruined hair before quickly thundering down the stairs, leaving you…

You’re not quite sure what you’re feeling but cold is one of them as you pull the pathetic lace sleeves down your arm to try and warm yourself but nothing happens and maybe you feel your eyes too heavy to keep open as tears brim at the corners.

“Hey – are you okay?”

Babs’ voice causes your head to snap upwards as you watch her quickly scaling the stairs, eyebrows furrowed together, and you offer no response until she reaches the top and extends her arms to pull you into a hug.

“You were right. Halloween really isn’t your holiday.”

“Could you please stay behind for a moment?”

Gordon asks of you as you’re heading out of the hall, and the pit of anxiety resting in your stomach throughout the class, blooms further as you wait on the side until all the hall empties and its just you and Gordon.

He doesn’t say anything for a while, until he finally sighs and looks at you with a hard expression – one you’re all too familiar with from when you were little –

“Concerning Jason,”

You nod. Since your argument two days ago, you haven’t seen him, and the guilt seeped in farther when his spot well behind you remained empty the entire lesson.

“He’s pulled from your partnership.”

“W-what?”

“He came to talk to me, saying that he can’t continue to work with you anymore on any further projects, and the last one I paired you up on should definitively be the last.”

“Sir, I – “

“Look, I don’t like to meddle in the private lives of my students, but this situation is too tiring for me not to say that whatever problem you and Jason have; fix it. I always find both your work fascinating and that goes for the assignment you both submitted before and I simply cannot allow your own vanities to cloud judgment over the fact that you and Jason are paragons at literature and in my books, are too quick-witted to allow this talent to be lost amongst petty arguments.”

“I know, I – “

“So, I hope you’ll resolve this issue before next week’s lesson?”

“I – yes. Yes, I will.”

“Good. You’re dismissed.”

“Can I come in?”

The situation that you’re currently in rolls over you in waves of guilt and anxiety as you stand in front of Jason, in a beige coloured hallway as he idly stands with the apartment door halfway open, hesitant at your words or more so at how you’re standing in front of his apartment with worn boots and a heaving chest. You’d finally taken heed of the advice offered from Gordon, Steph and Babs and even consulted Dick and mulled it over with your own guilt before trekking all the way to his apartment.

“Sure,” His voice sounds removed – apathetic enough that you have to refrain from wincing, as he opens the door further to let you in. “Are you okay?”

You don’t hear him as your boots echo against the hardwood floor as you enter the apartment building and the sudden realization that this is the first time you’ve seen his apartment settles in as you eye the dimly lit space, with books scattered on the coffee – most of them are torn, something you’ve always found a little endearing, though you won’t admit it. The room is an oddly home-y mixture of warm beige's and deep browns that you would’ve kept staring at if he hadn’t called out your name again.

“What?”

“I asked, are you okay? You’re red in the face and panting.”

“Oh, oh, yeah, I walked all the way here and the elevator was out of service, so I used the stairs.”

“Why did you walk, nearly twenty blocks?” He furrows his brows and you let out of a puff of annoyance.

“I – listen, I don’t want to argue with you,” You take a step closer and calm yourself before starting. “You – you were right, I was being a complete and total bitch to you without reason at that party and before that. It’s just – “

You stop, and release a chuckle before awkwardly asking, “I’m gonna need a drink to get through this, do you have any?”

Nearly fifteen minutes later, not as drunk as you need to be, but enough that it gives you courage to finally stop beating around the bush and talk to him so you move to see him also standing facing the open windows to the evening sky, the sun setting against the horizon as dusk settles and you motion for him to sit on the floor as you are and he slowly complies.

“Look, I know I’ve been hostile towards you since – “

“Why?” He interrupts, not looking at you and you sputter a little. “Why have you been so hostile to me.”

“Well, you should know, none of it was your fault – well, not directly.” You sigh.

“College was my chance to start over. You don’t need to know all of the other shit, but I just thought that this whole experience would make everything okay and I wouldn’t need to fight for every single thing in my life just to end up being sub-par. And, it was going great.” You slightly chuckle to try not to choke on your words.

“That was, until you came along with your prodigal capabilities in literature and it felt like everything was falling apart again. Because somehow, suddenly, I wasn’t Gordon’s favourite anymore and I wasn’t at the top of the class – and somehow, I wasn’t enough.” Your voice is a little more choked now as you kept looking forward, even though Jason had started watching you now.

“It just was like my entire belief system just got turned upside down.” You release a breath and let the silence settle after your words.

“Fuck, I just unloaded a crap-ton of shit onto you, and you probably don’t understand any of it. I mean, I’m drunk so I don’t understand either.” You laugh and try not to cry, even though you’re pretty sure you will.

“No, I think I understand sort of, too,” He replies, voice softer than you expected and you’re more surprised to see a small smile gracing his lips. “You’re not completely wrong about the whole belief system thing there, you know, Gordon’s classes meant the same thing to me too and I just wanted to enjoy something without having to fight my way for it but boy, did you make that hard.”

A breathy chuckle escapes you as he stops talking and you both sit in the silence until he pipes up again,

“If we’re trying to mend this whole thing then maybe you should want this back too,” His voice is cryptic as you furrow your brows in confusion and stare at him with a lost expression as he stands up to walk away and disappear into the hallway, out of your sight before quickly returning with something clasped in his hand while you raise an eyebrow at him.

“You dropped this in my car when we were heading back from the party with that whole thing with Anna. Dick found it the next morning and had a whole field day about it.”

In his palm, rests a single earring piece shaped like an olive branch which you thought you’d lost in the chaos of the party and you almost laugh.

“You know, I’m gonna pretend this isn’t too creepy and thank you for giving it back.”

“I was trying to give it back to you but you never wanted to have a single conversation with me so,” You roll your eyes before picking up the earring and hooking it back through your ear even though you didn’t have the other one on.

“Right, I get it, I suck.”

That causes him to laugh as he settles back down again next to you and he doesn’t look at you before saying,

“No, you’re not as annoying as I originally thought.”

You echo a ‘hey’ and lightly punch him and the silence envelopes you both – softly, and there’s a moment of peace you think you’ve both settled in and it feels nice.

le fin

(pt.2 will come)

[incoherentbabblings]

89 tim and steph LMAO

700 Followers Celebration:

89. “YOU SENT ME PICTURES OF YOU NAKED WHILE I WAS IN A WORK MEETING!”

I knew someone would do this one... dammit.

The meeting was beginning to drone on.

“I’m just saying that this ‘smarter way of working’ is not going to work for the front facing members of staff…”

Aaaaaand Tim zoned out again. Scratch beginning to drone on. The thing had crossed dragging and gone firmly into the realm of limping, dying, crawling thirty minutes ago.

Tim frowned at the graph on the screen in front of the long black meeting table. Bruce was opposite, not even pretending to not be asleep.

Lucky bastard. Of all the public images Tim had cultivated for himself; gregarious, well meaning, earnest, sharp as a whip… Well, it wasn’t as much of a lie as Bruce’s. But it still felt constraining. Some days Tim didn’t feel like smiling. Or being touched. Or listening.

His phone vibrated, deep in his pants pocket. He ignored it. This wasn’t the kind of meeting where he could start texting people.

“How about,” Bruce’s voice boomed, showing that, no, as a matter of fact, he had not been asleep the past hour, “we take a ten minute break? Considering we’re not even halfway through the agenda yet.”

The older men and women checked their watches, displaying surprise at the time in the most insincere of ways. Thankfully, the chairman conceded.

Bruce made his typical hmm noise, eyes remaining shut, and continued to snooze.

Oh good. Bathroom break.

Tim stood up, straight as a bean, and rushed out the office. He may have been in a position way above his natural pay grade due to nepotism, but he was still a young adult. Needed to check his phone.

Walking along the corridor to the bathroom, he unlocked his cell and opened up the messages he missed.

“Holy -”

Nearly dropping his phone, Tim opened the nearest door he could find, which happened to be a stationary cupboard. Leaving the light off, and hyperventilating, Tim dialed for Stephanie.

She picked up soon enough, chipper as always.

“Oh hey! I thought you were in a meeting all morning. Did you get the photos?”

“Are you insane?”

She sounded very taken aback. “Woah! Were they that bad?”

“Tell me you're not making fun of me. Tell me you’re not this stupid.”

“No? What?” Her next breath was unsteady. “What? Did I do something wrong?”

The hot anger drained away with his shock. No, Stephanie was not that stupid. He lowered his voice, cautious of anyone walking by.

“You…sent me pictures of you naked while I was in a work meeting…”

“...What?” she laughed, incredulous. “No. No. I sent you the photos of the new dining table and chairs. I spent all…”

Tim could hear her pulling her phone back, flipping through messages.

Despite the phone not being on speakerphone, Tim had to pull it away from his ear from the resounding wail.

“Oh my God I’m sorry!”

“You didn’t mean to?” Tim frowned.

“No! I sent the wrong ones! Oh my - I can’t believe - I’m sorry! Did anyone see? You’re gonna get in trouble and it’s my fault! They weren’t for… They weren’t for anyone!”

“No, no,” Tim struggled with the complete switch around in emotions. Gone was his anger, misplaced and unwanted, and instead he was struggling to calm down a crying girlfriend on the other end of the phone who was probably feeling very violated at that moment. “No-one saw but me. I’ll delete them. Listen? See?”

He made a show of doing so, verbalizing all the steps he took to pressing delete and erasing the temporary files in his phone. Stephanie’s unsteady breathing down the other end of the line.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” Tim said.

“I would never -”

Tim laughed unwisely, “Well. You know what they say. Never say…”

“Don’t try and flirt with me!” she shrieked. “I’m upset!”

“Right. Yes.”

“I can’t believe this. I just wanted to show you the new furniture and instead I went and sent you nudes!”

It was terrible timing that she said this, still screaming down the phone line, because there and then Bruce opened the door.

Tim froze. A toddler caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Bruce’s eyes widened, then narrowed them exponentially.

“Break’s over,” he said simply.

There was a terrible pause, then Stephanie’s voice, still audible through the phone, whispered, “Bruce?”

Bruce sucked on his tongue, face looking like he’d just drank pickle juice.

“Good morning Stephanie,” he ground out.

“No!”

Tim dropped his phone at the resulting screech.

[ms-starflower]

Spook-tober Day 1 — Decorating

@maribat-october-rarepairs

So, technically, it’s October 2nd for almost two hour here, but it’s probably still the 1rst somewhere, right? Well, I don’t care anyway.

It’s my first time writing for an event (Maribat or otherwise) and I wanted to write both prompts for Spook-tober - Maribat Month and the Maribat Rare Pairs Month, but didn’t have time to start writing before 11pm.

This one's for Spook-tober, though it could also qualify as rarepair since it's a Stephinette (is that the correct shop name???), because Steph is my Queen (Cass too, but I wanted Steph today). Though they don't interact (yet) but I think I’ll write a follow up for other days' prompt, maybe (day 9 and 21, I’m looking at you,).

Anyway, let’s start.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You sure you got the right address, miss?” The cab driver asked her with a skeptic expression. It would have been alright if the man hadn’t asked the same thing in at least twenty different ways during the ride.

“Yes, thank you Monsieur. I’m exactly where I wanted to be,” Marinette answered with a tight smile, like the twenty previous times. Giving him the money she owed him, she got out of the car to stand in front of the gigantic gate of Wayne’s Manor. The place was kind of intimidating.

Still hearing the car behind her when she reached the intercom, she turned toward it. The driver was shamelessly looking at her, probably waiting for her to get refused access.

“Are you waiting for something, sir?” She asked, tilting her head slightly.

“You’re gonna need a ride back, don’t ya? I’m already here, might as well,” he smiled at her with condescending amusement. Marinette was tempted to tell him that she would prefer to go back to the city on foot than to get into his car again. But her parents raised her better than that, so she only smiled politely.

“There is no need, sir, I really don’t know how long I’m going to stay here.”

“Yeah, right,” the man huffed, still staring at her.

Deciding to just ignore him, Marinette turned to push on the intercom’s only button. It took a minute before an elegant and accented voice responded.

“Hello, how may I help you?”

“Ah, hello sir. I’m Marinette, Jason asked me to come?”

“Indeed, Master Jason warned me to expect you.”

When the gate opened, Marinette made a point to turn around to smile and wave goodbye at the cab driver. She would cherish his dumbstruck expression for a long time.

Her victory was short lived, though, when she saw how long the march from the gate to the house was going to be. Jason better be on the brink of death. Or the world, she wasn’t picky.

When she finally got there, an old gentleman she thought might be Alfred was waiting for her.

“Miss Dupain-Cheng, I’m Alfred, the family’s butler, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” Alfred said with a kind smile and a nod.

“The pleasure is all mine, sir. And just Marinette is fine,” she told him kindly, walking into the house. “Jason is okay, right? He didn’t say why he wanted me here, and I have to admit that he got me worried.”

Jason had been determined to keep her as far away from his family as he could manage before, and the sudden change was really odd.

“I see,” Alfred said slowly, closing his eyes for a second. “Master Jason is alright, Miss Marinette, do not worry. He just… Well, why not let Master Jason explain the situation to you himself. If you would follow me.”

Marinette followed him for a couple minutes through a couple of corridors, before he opened the doors to… a battlefield.

She thought that, maybe, it was supposed to be a living room, but it was hard to say, under all those decorations. They were literally everywhere. Throwing on the couches, a couple of boxes were overturned in a corner, a couple of garlands of little cartoon ghosts hanging hazradly from the chandelier. It was a mess, but she could see that someone probably tried to… decorate? Maybe? It was a really bad job, though.

Jason and a man she assumed to be his brother were battling with a plastic pumpkin and a skeleton respectively, while two more men and a woman—probably also Jason’s siblings, she heard Bruce Wayne was kind of a serial adopter— were cheering on the sidelines and a brooding teenager was glaring at them. Everyone froze as soon as they realized that they weren’t alone anymore. Alfred only sighed, nodded at her before going back to where they came from.

“Hey! Pixie! Great, you’re here,” Jason exclaimed excitedly, letting go of the pumpkin he was shoving into his brother’s face and stauttered toward her.

“Jason, in the name of everything that’s holy, what the hell?” Marinette asked with a voice deceptively calm. She could see the woman and one of the men behind Jason wince at her tone. Good.

“Well, see, we wanna decorate the house for Halloween, now that it’s time—”

“Jason,” she interrupted incredulously. “We are in September!”

“Well, technically, it’s already October in Russia,” the man that had been fighting with Jason piped up.

“Yeah, what Timbers said,” Jason said with a serious nod while Marinette could only look at him in astonishment. “Anyway, Bruce said we can decorate all the room in the Manor like we wish if we can make this one presentable, without the help of Alfred. And I really want to make a cat theme for his bedroom, so I thought; hey, you know a designer…”

“I’m a fashion designer, Jason, not an interior designer!”

“Same difference, Pixie. You’re my only hope, all of them are hopeless in terms of good taste.”

Marinette pinched the bridge of her nose, ignoring the various protests from Jason’s sibling, before taking out her phone.

“So you proceeded to send me ‘Hey Pix,” she said, reading the message he sent her earlier with a bad imitation of his voice. “‘Need you at the manor asap, urgence lvl 3’ before ignoring me, making me think that the world was probably ending—”

“World ending is at least a lvl 5, Pix, come on,” Jason interrupted with an offended expression. She ignored him.

“—Forcing me to take a cab with a absolute jerk driver—”

“Why did you take a cab? You have a car!”

“Adrien took the car, he is visiting Chloé in New York. But that’s not the point. The point, Jason, is that all of that was because you needed me to help you decorate for a day that is literally in a month?”

“Hey, Halloween is a very important celebration,” Jason’s brother, the one that had been cheering the loudest, told her with a solemn expression.

“I’m French, I don’t care about Halloween,” she deadpanned.

“I’m sorry, what?” The one Jason had called Timbers, probably Tim Drake, looked pained at the very idea that someone could not be obsessed by Halloween.

“I mean, we used to make speciales and sales at the bakery, and I’ve been to a couple of costume parties, but we don’t really pay attention to Halloween until around the 25 of October.”

“That’s sacrilegious,” Jason said, and almost all the others agreed in a way or another.

“Maybe for you, Americans,” she told him with amusement. “But it doesn't change the fact that I’m not going to help you.”

What? Why?!” He exclaimed, his eyes widening.

“Because, one, I don’t have anything to gain from it,” she said, showing him one of her fingers before adding a second. “And two, do you know how long the walk between the cab and the door had been? And all of it just for decorations?”

“Aw, come on, Pix! Bruce is going to make Alfred judge, and I have projects for the cat theme!”

“There is nothing you can say that is going to make me change my—”

“Hey guys!” A cheerful voice suddenly interrupted her, the owner barging into the room like a whirlwind. The woman was slightly taller than her, with long blonde hair and blue eyes. She had a beautiful smile that brightened the room and Marinette could feel the hearts that were making their way in her eyes. The girl was cute. Uh oh. “You are decorating already?! Cool! Be right back, let me just grab my stuff!”

Then she was gone, and Marinette could only blink slowly, before turning back toward Jason.

“Alright, I’m in.”

“What? Why— Oh, no, no, no! You’re not going to crush on Steph—”

“Oh, her name is Steph? What a lovely name,” she mumbled, looking back in the direction she disappeared. “But if you don’t want my help, I can just ask for her number and let you fend for yourself with the decorations, you know.”

“Pixie!” Jason complained, making his sibling laugh or snicker at him.

~~~~~~~~~~

Fun fact: when Marinette says that France doesn't care about Halloween until around October 25th, I’m talking from personal experience. I don’t know if it’s the same in all of France, but I grew up in Paris’ region (It’s not Paris Paris, but it’s like, the places all around and we call it régions parisienne) and they don’t care about it. Where I live, the shops don’t start selling Halloween themed candy before, like a week (maybe two?? when they start early) before Halloween and the children rarely go trick or treating. (I lived in this house for ~five/six years, and I’ve never got a child knocking for candy on Halloween.)

Again, I’m not saying it was like that for everyone in France, maybe it was only my city, but I thought it funny to have this opposition between Marinette and the Batkids.

[awhitehead17]

Batfam Alphabet: K - Kryptonian’s

Summary: After noticing how everyone is busy meeting up with someone who is either a Kryptonian or even a Kent that day, Dick notices how he’s the only one in the family that doesn’t have a Kryptonian partner.

Enjoy! :D

“C’mon Damian, let’s go! We’re going to be late!”

Dick pauses from where he’s walking through the foyer and looks up to find Tim shouting for their younger brother as he hurries down the stairs. When he reaches the bottom the teenager rushes to the door and throws it open and impatiently waits in the doorway as he checks his watch every few seconds.

Raising an eyebrow, Dick glances at the top of the stairs but doesn’t find any sign of Damian. He turns back to Tim. “What’s the rush?”

Tim blinks and stares at him for a moment like he’s just noticing Dick’s presence for the first time. With his eyes flicking to and fro Tim huffs in annoyance and taps his foot restlessly. “We’re meeting Conner and Jon at Amusement Mile but we’re running late because a certain someone can’t apparently keep track of the time!”

Dick frowns, suddenly feeling concerned for his brothers’ safety. “Is going there a wise idea?”

With a wave of his hand Tim dismisses his concern. “It’ll be fine. At the end of the day we’re all trained and it’s only a phone call away if anything does happen. Kon and Jon are there so if we do need an emergency evac we can get out of there quickly.”

Before Dick could respond a new voice joins the conversation.

“We have plenty of time Drake, don’t be so impatient.”

Both Dick and Tim look up to find Damian now descending down the stairs at a leisurely pace, obviously not in such a hurry as Tim is. Dick wonders if Damian is doing it purposely to annoy Tim or because they do have a lot of time to spare and Tim is just being overly-cautious.

“There’s nothing wrong with being a little early or even on time brat.” Tim snaps at him, glaring as Damian reaches the bottom of the staircase. “Now come on, we’re wasting time.”

Without even so much a goodbye Tim spins around and hurries out the door once Damian approaches. Damian tuts but follows behind Tim saying “Bye Grayson” as he passes Dick on the way out of the door.

It takes Dick a moment to react, his mind catching up with the fact that Damian and Tim are hanging out together, seemingly willingly with one other. He blinks and shouts after them, “don’t kill one another! Stay safe and remember to call if anything happens!”

Neither brother responds to him but Dick rationalises he’s done what he could, if something happens between them he is not to blame. Maybe he should message Conner to ask him to check in and to make sure they behave. The Kryptonian brothers get along unlike Tim and Damian so his caution is reasonable as them two together is certainly a questionable matter. In the end he decides against it, instead choosing to wait and see what the end result of the day looks like.

Eventually he shuts the front door and continues on his way with what he had been doing before the sudden distraction.

------

Dick’s route through the foyer is interrupted again not even an hour later, only this time because of the group of girls gathered there. Dick stops and stares at the scene unsure on how to proceed, should he make his way through them or go around them?

Steph, Cass, Barbara and even Kara are grouped together giggling about something. Seeing three of them together is rather normal but he is surprised to see Kara around.

Before Dick could decide on what action to take he’s spotted by Steph. The blonde waves enthusiastically at him. “Hey Dick! How are things? Don’t mind us we’re moving to the media room now.”

The other girls turn and face him. Cass and Kara give him a smile and a small wave in greeting while Barbara shoots him a bland look. He wouldn’t expect anything else from her.

As Dick is about to move he’s stopped short by Kara addressing him. She points up to the chandelier hanging from the ceiling. “Dick, is it true that you used to often climb up there and hang from it?”

Dick glances up and his mind is suddenly ambushed with fond memories of when he was a kid and used to do acrobatics from said chandelier. Alfred used to give him hell for it, particularly after he accidently broke one when he got a bit too bold trying a new move.

He smiles and looks back at Kara nodding. “Yeah, that’s true. More often than you would think believe it or not. I did it less frequently as I got older though.”

Kara snorts with amusement. “I can totally see Jon doing something like that, rao, even Conner would try something like that.”

“Considering who they’re friends with, that doesn’t surprise me.” Steph comments laughing. “Well lets get to it! See you later Dick!”

Steph takes off down the corridor towards the media room with a bounce in her step. Kara sends him one more smile and follows her, Cass comes up to him and stands on her tip toes to place a kiss on his cheek before following them and finally Barbara sends him a wistful smile before trailing behind the girls, clearly also remembering what he used to be like back then.

Once they disappear from view it takes Dick a moment to move, his mind thinking about what just happened. He didn’t even realise they were friends with Kara. He doesn’t even know how they know each other, then again he doesn’t follow every move the girls make, they’ve probably had cases that have crossed over a time or two. Shaking his head he lets it go and continues on with his day.

----

When Dick bumps into Bruce in the kitchen later on that day he feels like there’s a pattern forming.

He’s sat at the kitchen island minding his own business as he eats his lunch and mindlessly going through Facebook, Alfred is pottering about also minding his own business, when Bruce rushes in looking a little frazzled.

Dick watches mollified as Bruce darts about the kitchen, opening and closing cupboards left right and centre clearly looking for something which he doesn’t find straight away. As soon as he came in, Alfred simply stood to the side and allowed Bruce to freely search the place patiently waiting for the inevitable to happen.

After searching every cupboard and draw available Bruce turns to Alfred and before the man could say anything Alfred simply holds out his hand revealing a travel mug. Bruce suddenly looks so relieved and gratefully takes the mug out of the butler’s hand with a breathless “thank you”.

“You are a saint Alfred, there’s no way I’m going to be able to cope today without this.” Bruce determines already taking a sip of the mug’s contents.

Dick blinks, completely lost to what’s happening, especially when all Alfred does is nod as he had been expecting that reaction the entire time.

“What is going on?” He blurts out without meaning too. The two men turn and face him, Alfred looking passive and Bruce looking surprised at his presence. Has Dick become invisible or something? That’s the same reaction Tim had that morning in the foyer.

“Oh, afternoon Dick, I completely missed you sat there.” Bruce says looking a little sheepish, a look that isn’t common on the man though Dick’s seen it more than enough times at this point in his life. “I have a meeting with Clark and the rest of the League members. I’m running a bit behind schedule but not enough to not grab my coffee before heading off. I won’t be back until late, don’t wait for me before going out tonight.”

With that statement Bruce leaves the kitchen with the travel mug clutched tightly in his hands. Dick shoots Alfred a surprised look but the elderly man has already turned around and continued with his task.

Sighing Dick turns his attention back on his half eaten lunch and goes back to scrolling through his Facebook newsfeed. Quickly getting bored of it, he places his phone down and strikes up a conversation with Alfred, the man appears more than happy to converse with him as he works.

After a while Alfred breaks their conversation, sending Dick an apologetic look. “I’m sorry Master Dick but I’m going to have to excuse myself. I have a scheduled phone call to make in a few moments.”

Dick stares, caught off guard by the reason. “What? Who with?” After he says it he realises how bad and how patronizing it sounds. He immediately winces and apologises.

Alfred merely looks amused at his behaviour, thankfully not taking any offense to it. “If you have to know Master Dick, I have a call with Mrs Martha Kent. We’re going to be comparing recipes and giving some recommendations.”

“Okay…”

Alfred leaves the kitchen then, leaving Dick all by himself in the room as his mind reels back over the last hour or so to what’s happened. Is everyone busy today or something?

Finally finishing his lunch, Dick clears his mess up and wanders out of the kitchen trying to decide what to do for the rest of the day.

-----

The next thing to happen which adds to the odd feeling he’s been having throughout the day is when he bumps into Selina in the corridor of the bedrooms wing. He’s heading towards his own room when he notices Selina strutting her way towards him.

His eyes widen as he takes in her outfit. She’s wearing a low cut black blouse paired off with tight leather pants and high heels. She’s wearing a golden necklace with matching bracelets on her wrists and her face done up with perfect looking make-up. The shadowing around her eyes make them stand out along with the boldness of her lipstick which helps define her facial features.

Dick stops in his tracks and watches as she approaches. When she’s close enough she stops and sends him a smile.

“Hot date?” Dick asks with a grin. He can’t help but be curious on why she’s dressed up like that. Bruce isn’t around and there’s no party that he’s aware of happening. Unless she plans on crashing the meeting Bruce happens to be in, it certainly wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened…

Her smiles turns more devious, “Not quite birdie,” she drawls out. She places her hands on her hips and cocks them to one side. “I’m meeting with Lois Lane. There’s a certain… get together we’re attending and I tend to make a statement.”

Dick’s eyes widen in surprise, he hadn’t been expecting that. He knows that Selina and Lois know one another, he’s seen them interact with each other enough times at gala’s both Bruce and Clark have attended too but he didn’t know they were that close.

After a couple beats he sends her an easy smile. “Well, I’m certain you’re going to make a statement alright.”

“Thank you kitten,” she replies patting his cheek softly, “now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get going.” She saunters past him, continuing down the hallway clearly ready to kick some ass. Selina is the personification of the saying ‘looks can be deceiving’.

“Have fun!” Dick calls out to her retreating form.

As he enters his room Dick is struck by a thought that even Selina is busy that day. It’s really starting to appear that he's the only one without any plans or even someone to meet up with. It suddenly makes him feel lonely, it’s an irrational feeling but he couldn’t help feel it temporarily, maybe it’s jealously of his family all currently hanging out with someone or each other. It’ll soon pass when everyone is back home and skulking around looking for stuff to do out of boredom.

----

Half an hour later and Dick knows he's had enough. It seems like the last straw has been drawn and how the universe has decided to rub salt into the wound.

Dick’s not even out of his bedroom doorway before he’s stopping short at the sight of two beings walking past him. He blinks and looks down the hallway with furrowed eyebrows and seconds later it registers who he’s seeing.

“Jason?”

His brother stops in the middle of the hallway and turns around to face him. He looks surprised for a moment before his expression goes back to neutral. “Oh, hey Dick.”

“What are you doing?” He questions his brother, his gaze slipping to Jason’s companion. Bizarro stands next to Jason, his eyes drifting between the two of them as he watches them interact with a frown.

Jason jerks a thumb over his shoulder. “We’re heading out now as we’re about to meet Artemis.”

Dick runs a hand over his face taking in the new information. “How long has Bizarro been here?”

His brother sends him perplexed look. “Uh, like all day? Did you not know that?”

“No. No I didn’t.”

“Oh,” Jason shrugs, not bothered by his answer, “well whatever. As I said we’re heading out now, so see ya! Say bye bye, Bizarro.”

“Bye bye.” Bizarro calls out to him with a wave of his hand.

Dick half heartedly waves back as he watches them disappear down the hallway. Once they were gone Dick slips back into his room and shuts the door behind him, completely forgetting the original reason why he had been leaving in the first place.

He goes over to his bed and flops down on it with a heavy sigh. Jason, even Jason, is busy and has company. How is it only him who isn’t doing anything? Usually it’s the other way around, where he’s always trying to find time in his schedule to meet up with his friends, family or to have some time for himself.

Burying his face into his pillow he sighs dejectedly, feeling sorry for himself. Dick frowns, maybe that’s not the right term, would jealously be more accurate or maybe loneliness is better suited. Whatever the word is for what he’s feeling, he knows it’s pretty much unwarranted. He should be happy that all of his siblings and extended family are out being sociable, they all have hectic and unpredictable lives, taking any free time a person has to spend it with those they care about is worth it.

Dick shouldn’t be annoyed with his family because he’s the one currently holed up in his bedroom sulking because he doesn’t have anyone to be with. It’s not their fault.

Something else he notices is how everyone seems to have their own Kryptonian, or by extension a Kent.

There's Bruce and Clark, though Bruce will deny their friendship at every opportunity. Tim and Conner, who are best friends (maybe more, Dick’s not quite sure). Damian and Jon, as much as the former is reluctant to admit how much he cares for the younger. Steph, Cass, Barbara and Kara who are all apparently friends. Selina and Lois. Alfred and Mrs Kent. Jason and Bizarro.

He’s the only one without a Kryptonian partner. While he’s worked with Clark a few times and has connected with him, after all Clark’s the one who inspired him to become Nightwing, it’s not the same thing.

After spewing in his thoughts for a while, Dick comes to a conclusion that sleep sounds like the best option right now. If he sleeps then he’s not thinking, and as a bonus at the same time his body is resting and extra rest never hurts anyone.

He shifts on his mattress, getting into a more comfortable position to sleep in, and buries his head further into his pillow. Closing his eyes he tries to force his body into unconsciousness. His eyes snap open only seconds later when his phone pings from it’s place on his bedside table.

Stuck between being excited for a message and dreading it, Dick reaches out and grabs the device. Rolling over onto his back he lifts his phone up in front of his face and reads the notification. Seeing who the message is from, a wide grin stretches across Dick’s face and any dread he had been feeling instantly disappears. It seems like the universe has finally decided to side with him (or that it’s had enough of him moping) because it’s a message from his long time old friend Wally West.

‘Hey man it’s been waaaayyyyyy too long. Are you free to hang out any time soon – we need to catch up bro.’

Dick agrees with the message, it has been too long since they last saw one another. From what Dick heard last is how Wally’s been busy helping out in Central City, his relationship with Linda is progressing smoothly, he’s been helping to train his cousin and how he’s been away on a mission with Jay. Dick had thought Wally was still away, hence why he hadn’t contacted him but obviously he’s wrong about that.

Dick types out a reply to his friend, feeling eager and excited to meet up. ‘I’m free right now if you are. C’mon over to the Manor when you can?’

It takes a few moments for Wally to respond. ‘Absolutely. Though will Bats have my ass if I just show up?’

Dick snorts, of all the things to be concerned about… ‘No. You’re fine. B’s in a meeting.’

‘Okay! I’ll be there in a flash ;D’

It’s stupid but Dick couldn’t help chuckle at the poor joke. No doubts on how Wally’s picked up that behaviour from Barry.

Feeling jittery, Dick rolls off his bed and begins making his way downstairs so he could greet Wally by the door. He doesn’t know what they’ll do other than talk to catch up and possibly raid the kitchen at the same time. Dick doesn’t mind what they do, at least he finally has someone to hang out with!

Just as Dick reaches the bottom of the stairs in the foyer, the doorbell rings alerting him of Wally’s arrival. Dick grins as he approaches the door and it only gets wider when he opens it to reveal his best friend standing there on the front porch.

“Wal-man! How’s it going dude!” He exclaims stepping towards the speedster.

Wally’s gaze snaps to him and an identical grin appears on his face. “Dick, it’s so good to see you man!”

They come together and embrace tightly with a few firm pats on the back. They part after a few beats and then take a moment to observe one another. Dick is pleased to find Wally appearing the same as he did when he last saw him, looking happy and healthy.

“So…” Wally trails off when the silence gets drawn out for too long.

“So.” Dick repeats promptly. Getting himself together, he continues to grin and throws an arm around his friend’s shoulders, using that leverage he guides Wally into the house. “We have a lot to catch up on.”

Wally’s own arm wraps around Dick’s back as they pass through the foyer. “That we do. I can’t even remember when the last time I saw you was.”

With his free hand Dick waves the comment away. “Doesn’t matter, we’re here now. Shall we grab some food and go to my room? I would suggest the media room but the girls are currently inhabiting it, have been all day, alternatively we could go to the conservatory or even outside since it’s dry and warm.”

Wally hums for a moment before answering. “Food is a definite must, you know me – hey has Alfred cooked recently, any chance we could steal some leftovers? And your room sounds fine, at least there’ll be less chance of us being disturbed by one of your millions of siblings.”

Dick rolls his eyes at the comment though he carries on smiling, some days it really does feel like he has a million. Will Bruce ever learn the meaning of ‘no more’?

“I have no idea what Alfred has in the kitchen so we shall see when we get there.” Dick says smiling.

The two of them fall into an easy stream of chatter as they begin catching up with what’s going on in their lives.

As they chat Dick thinks to himself, why was he so bothered that his family members all have their own Kryptonian when he has his own speedster? A couple of them also have a speedster but not everyone so Dick can hold onto this, at least that’s what he’s rationalising to himself. Thinking back on it, Dick realises that it’s stupid, why should he be concerned about it at all? He's now with his best friend, that’s what matters and that’s exactly what he's going to focus on.

[woah-were-halfway-there]

Along For The Ride: How It Started (Auston’s POV)

A/N: hello darlings, so this is Auston’s POV for this particular part here. Also just a reminder that this series is currently being rewritten as Carson instead of y/n like it was originally intended to be, so everything going forward including this and the next parts of JWIN will not be reader insert. My apologies to anyone that may upset, but this story was never meant to be y/n I just edited that way because I know it’s preferred on here, but the main character has always been Carson and it’s much easier for me to write her that way. ❤️

Word Count: 1.2k

When Auston met Carson for the first time, it was after he'd just finished playing his very first NHL game. He was still coming down from that high. Scoring four goals in his first game was just something, Auston and anyone who was following the game that night struggled to wrap their head around. But he did it. And everyone was buzzing.  

It was a surreal feeling, and Auston couldn't stop smiling as he walked down a hallway in the Canadian Tire Centre on his way to find his parents. Still, his mission came to a sudden halt when a girl with long brown hair unknowingly stepped back into his path, and the two of them collided.

"Oh, shit," the girl mumbled under her breath as she stumbled and reached out for something to grab onto and prevent her from falling, but Auston reacted quickly. He knew that if he didn't, the girl would have fallen after coming unexpectedly coming into contact with him, so Auston wrapped his left arm around her waist and put his right hand on her arm in an attempt to prevent that from happening. Luckily, it worked. The sigh of relief that left the girl's mouth didn't go unnoticed by Auston before she began shifting in his hold and stood up straight again. Once she took a step away, the girl then turned around to face Auston. "I'm so sorry…"

Auston watched as the girl froze and cut herself off after finally seeing who she'd just run into. A smile began tugging at his lips as he did so. He, too, couldn't help the way his eyebrows raised in surprise while taking in the features of the brown-haired, green-eyed girl he'd only seen through pictures on a screen leading up to that moment. The same girl that also happened to be Mitch Marner's cousin.

"It's alright," Auston told her and smiled a little wider as he couldn't help but think of how, yeah, she was beautiful to look at on Instagram, but she was stunning in person. "I wasn't watching where I was going either."

"I-," the girl started but was cut off again by none other than Mitch himself this time as he came over and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, then looked back at Auston.

"Auston, I see you've officially met my baby cousin Carson," Mitch said with a smirk, acting like he hadn't already told Auston all about how close he was with his cousin.

Auston just shook his head slightly in response because, yes, he did know of Carson. He'd even messaged her briefly on Instagram earlier that day, but he didn't think this would be the way he'd finally meet the girl Mitch, Steph and many others talked so fondly about.

"Baby?" Carson's voice snapped Auston out of his thoughts as she looked up at Mitch, visibly unimpressed by being called that. "Mitch, you're literally 12 days older than I am."

"Older and wiser," Mitch replied, not missing a beat.

"I don't think so," Carson responded, then smoothly elbowed her cousin in the gut and moved away from him, earning herself an intimidating glare as he groaned in pain.

Auston was amused, to say the least, and couldn't help but chuckle as he observed the other two. However,  before he could say anything, another voice spoke up from behind him.

"Uh oh, the twins are at it again," said William Nylander as he walked towards the other three.

This was an interesting addition to the scene playing out in front of Auston because he knew that Carson and Willy allegedly had a history of sorts.

Over the past week or so, Auston heard a few guys tease Willy about how he made moves on Carson, but it didn't end up the way he was hoping it would. Auston didn't know the details, but from what he gathered was that Carson left Willy high and dry at a bar before anything more than the flirting they were doing could happen.

The fact that Carson apparently ditched Willy to get food then went home to bed before he could even get her number was something Mitch specifically thought was hilarious and loved sharing with the other guys on the team before telling Willy that Carson 'didn't like hockey players.'

However, Willy didn't seem to be phased by Mitch's comment or whatever happened with Carson because he still liked her. That much was evident with how he smirked once Carson looked his way, then winked at her.

Auston felt a pang of something as he saw that happen but brushed it off quickly as he looked back towards Carson, only to see that she hadn't reacted to Willy's advances at all. Auston was pretty sure Carson didn't even notice the wink because she wasn't even looking at Willy as he walked by. Instead, she was looking at Auston as if it was only him there speaking to her.

"Twins?" Auston asked once he snapped out of his thoughts and moved his attention back to Carson and Mitch.

"The more you see them together, the more you'll see how true that statement is," Steph, Mitch's girlfriend, stated as she wedged herself between the two cousins in attempt to keep them from annoying each other any further. She then looked at Carson and nodded. "We have to get back to the station real soon if we want to catch our train back to Toronto."

"Right," Carson replied with a nod back. "I'm good to go whenever you are."

The two girls then discussed how after they said their goodbyes, they'd head back to the train station so they could get home. After their brief conversation, Steph stepped away to start saying goodbye to Mitch's family, but instead of joining in doing the same, Carson looked back to Auston and smiled again.

"You played a really great game tonight," she complimented. "Congrats."

"Thanks," Auston chuckled and grinned back, feeling flustered at how contagious her smile was. "It's all pretty crazy to let sink in. I definitely think your good luck message helped, though."

"Oh, I'm sure it did."

Both Auston and Carson laughed at that, but it soon faded into silence. Neither knew what to say, and Auston could tell Carson was feeling a little awkward as she shifted from one foot to the other then glanced towards her family standing nearby. Auston decided not to let her feel that way for long, seeing as he too needed to get going and find his parents still, so he spoke up again.

"I, uh, I guess I won't keep you from catching your train back to Toronto," Auston started and looked away slightly, not liking the fact that she seemingly felt less comfortable. "It was nice... officially meeting you, Carson."

"Yeah, I should probably get going before Steph comes back over here and starts dragging me out," Carson replied, making Auston laugh and feel slightly better. "It was nice meeting you too, Auston. Congrats again, maybe I'll see you around."

"I'd like that," he told her honestly. "Get home safe."

"You too, well, to wherever you're going," she responded, then sent him one last smile before walking away to go over and say goodbye to her family then leave.

However, Auston couldn't do the same. For a moment, he felt stuck in place as he watched her leave, completely entranced by her and intrigued by the interaction they just had. Carson left a lasting impression on Auston for sure, and he couldn't help the nagging thought in his mind about wanting to get to know her better as he shook his and continued on his search for his parents.

[foodieforthoughts]

I Would Do It Again - Eleven

Summary: Anya Adams, a troubled soul but fierce on the outside, stumbles over a stranger at a party and ends up sharing more than just her name. She’s in for a whirlwind encounter when he turns out to be her boss. Striking up a deal for pleasure, Anya soon finds herself mixing work and play. For someone who swore off love, would she let the handsome Brit break down her walls?

Pairing: AU Henry Cavill x OFC

Words: 6.7k

Warnings: lots and lots of fluff, implied smut

A/N: We are finally over a big hurdle in Anya and Henry’s life and now it’s time for all the sugar coated goodness. Thank you to everyone who is following this series, you guys make me very happy. Also, I might have gone a little over board with all the details about New York, but I love that city so much, this is just me projecting my fantasy. Enjoy!

Divider by @firefly-graphics

| One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten | Eleven | Twelve |

The sheets felt cool against my skin making me curl up inside. I was vaguely aware of the scent that was undeniably Henry’s cologne wafting up to my nostrils. I took a deep breath taking in his sweet odour and smiled to myself. I was so spent by the end of the night that as soon as my eyes had closed, I had drifted off to a dreamless slumber. Henry had wrapped his arms around me, and I had never felt more content in my life.

Basically, last night had been a marathon whereas I had been expecting a sprint.

I fluttered my eyes open, hugging the soft cushion against my chest, and feeling the soft fabric of the satin pillowcase against my face. My core ached when I turned around, making me wince when I tried to spread my legs. I kneaded my eyes with the heel of my hands, trying to rub the sleep away.

Slowly I sat up letting the sheets cascade over my naked breasts and settle on my waist. It was only now that I was taking in my surroundings and noticing the empty side of the bed.

A mixture of white and grey with a splash of black, greeted my lazy, sleep laden gaze. One side of the bedroom had only windows with a seating platform placed underneath. The curtains were closed but light filtered in through the gaps signalling it was definitely morning. I looked at the side table and noticed my phone. When the screen lit up, it showed it was half past twelve.

I had missed another day at work.

Cursing under my breath, I typed in a quick message to Steph to let her know that I was not coming in for work. Her reply was quick, and she told me to hydrate myself and a winking emoji if I had gone home with a man.

I blushed when I thought about the man that I had gone home with.

It suddenly occurred to me that if Henry wasn’t in bed with me, he might have gone off to work. There wasn’t a note and neither a message. I wasn’t even sure if I was supposed to go home now or wait until he returns.

Suddenly, the sound of his laughter boomed through the crack of the bedroom door.

I stood up, curling my toes in the soft material of his carpet, and grabbed the first thing I could see to pull over my bare body. There was a bathrobe neatly slung over the desk chair with none of my clothes from last night in sight. I grabbed the robe, taking in the smell of the detergent like it had been fresh out of the dryer. I wore it, wrapping the open front around my body and securing it with the ties.

With minimal noise possible, I made my way towards the sound of Henry’s voice.

I tip-toed to the living room as I heard him try to convince someone that he will be in London for Christmas. The white and grey palette that decorated the bedroom continued outside. Plush white furniture decorated the living room and gave way to the open kitchen on the other side. It was weird to think that I hadn’t noticed before the big wide windows that looked out to a panoramic view of the Hudson River.

Surrounded by blankets and pillows, Henry sat on the couch dressed in dark blue t-shirt and sweatpants. He had his iPad in his hands with only his side profile visible to me. I didn’t want to intrude on his conversation, although I could hear a cute little girl’s voice speaking to him.

“Yes, darling. I will be like Santa on Christmas. What do you want as a present?”

It was followed by the little girl giving out a list of things. I chose to leave him be and look around his place. He had a very minimalistic furniture design with some shelves lined with books and CDs. As I was skimming through his collection, I noticed how he mostly had romance novels, classics like Shakespeare and movies like the Notebook. I pulled a random novel out and flipped through a few pages.

“Good morning,” I jumped a little when Henry crept up behind me, resting his hands on my hips.

“Morning? Afternoon, more like.”

I felt the hairs on the back of my neck tingle as he rested his chin at the crook of my neck. His growing stubble grazed my skin with his breath blowing hot against the shell of my ear. He let out a huff and wound his arms around my waist.

Suddenly everything felt very domestic. I was also beginning to realize that underneath the robe, I was completely naked. When Henry pulled me closer to his frame, I felt my entire body become warm under his touch.

“Did you hide my clothes?” I wrapped my arms over his, leaning against his chest with ease.

He chuckled. “No, I just put them for washing.”

Placing the novel back at it’s place on the shelf, I turned around in his arms to face him. He kept his hands firmly planted onto the small of my back with a gentle smile playing on his lips. Staring in his clear blue orbs, I was certain I was never going to stop being so mesmerized by them. “I stayed the night.”

“You stayed the night.”

The glint in his eyes said it all. There was a sense of victory in them. He had made me break my own rule. I momentarily froze in his arms. It was weird that I hadn’t even given a thought to leave last night. Besides the mind-blowing sex which I remembered vividly; it was the last memory of Henry falling asleep beside me that sent tingles down my spine.

Was I seeing our boundaries blurring?

As soon as that thought crossed my mind, I awkwardly detached myself from him. Confusion was evident on his face, but I chose to look at a crease on his t-shirt instead. “Uh…” I cleared my throat, “Who-Who were you talking to earlier? The kid?”

Henry took a step back, letting his arms hang to his sides. “Um… My niece, Beatrice. She’s my sister’s daughter.”

“You have a sister?” I don’t know why it surprised me. I hadn’t really given a thought about Henry’s family, much less about him having a sister.

“Yes. Her name’s Gina. She’s younger to me, lives in Paris.” Henry walked back towards the couch. I ignored it the best I could, but his demeanour seemed to change with his shoulders getting stiff and him trying to not look at me while folding up the sheets near the end of the couch. “Gina’s expecting a child again, and Beatrice is feeling a little neglected.”

“Oh, and Uncle Henry is getting Christmas presents to cheer her up?” I tried to tease him, sitting my butt on the armrest of the couch. But my humour was lost on him when his expression did not change and he only ‘hmm-ed’ in response.

Reaching for his arm, I grabbed onto his sleeve and pulled myself up from the armrest. Henry looked at me sideways, scrunching his eyebrows together as I let my hand slide down to his hand.

“I really had a great time last night.” I meekly spoke, biting my lower lip. Letting the sheets drop from his hand, Henry turned around to face me. It was only then that I thought back on the pillows and blankets on the couch. “Did you sleep out here?”

He nodded slowly, turning his hand so as to envelop mine in his own palm. “I didn’t know if you would want me to sleep in the same bed.”

I blinked twice to register what he just said. I wouldn’t have opposed him sleeping next to me; I, for one, wanted him to be there when I woke up. The fact that he had considered that I might object made me respect him on a new level.

“I wouldn’t have had a problem. But thank you,” I took a step forward, throwing my arm around his neck and bringing our entwined ones to rest on his chest. “And I’m sorry you had to sleep out here. Maybe there’s a way I could make up for the discomfort?” I pressed my body up against his, drawing a strangled breath from Henry.

But he seemed to have collected himself when he let go of my hand and pulled me closer to him, if it was even possible.

“I actually have been thinking of asking something of you.” He huskily replied, pushing a strand of hair away from my face. “Go on a date with me.”

“Henry,” I began, grimacing at the thought. I did not want to reject him first thing in the morning, certainly not when I was standing in his living room. I tried to think over ways to turn down his offer gently, also worrying if he would stop seeing me altogether.

“As a friend.” He added, smiling at me like he read my thoughts.

“Like on a friend date?” I asked quizzically with a raised eyebrow. “Are you sure, Cavill? Just a date as friends?”

“Yep.” He sounded the ‘p’ at the end of the word, making it pop and then grinning widely. “We can make a whole day out of it on Sunday. I still have to get some sightseeing done around the city.” I could feel his thumb rubbing the back of my robe when he spoke. It made me feel a faint flutter in my heart which got amplified when I stared at his gorgeous face, but I disregarded the feeling with a shrug of my shoulder.

“That sounds reasonable.” I tried to let go of him, but he pulled me back flush against his chest. I stared at him wide-eyed, waiting for him to speak.

“But that is to happen in the future,” his voice dropped an octave with his eyes darkening with every passing second. “I can think of several ways in which you could make up to me right now.”

Nevertheless, I didn’t leave his apartment until later in the night. With sore legs and a full stomach from the dinner spread Henry cooked for us, I took the subway back to my apartment satisfied in every way possible.

***

On Sunday, I woke up with the kind of energy that I hadn’t felt in a long time. Lying in my bed and staring at the ceiling, I left relaxed and excited all at the same time. Brooklyn was swarming downstairs, with the sounds of the city filling in my room from the open window. Sunlight filtered inside through the sheer curtains, falling on my bed in streams of luminescent particles.

I had never really enjoyed mornings and had never woken up before my alarm. To top it all off, it was a Sunday which meant my day usually started way past noon.

But today, everything felt different.

Henry had dropped a question two days ago, one which I hadn’t been expecting in a million years. I had considered declining his ‘friendly date’ offer on Friday when I had stayed over at his place again. But when Henry used his brilliant blue eyes to coax me into doing something I had never done before, I could hardly say no.

I looked at my bedside clock, goofily smiling to myself for the day ahead and switched off the alarm before it could even ring. Henry was supposed to pick me up in about two hours and I had a whole lot of things to do before he arrived. I quickly rushed into the shower with the smile still plastered on my face.

Like clockwork, my doorbell rang at nine am signalling Henry had arrived. I had offered to meet him somewhere in the city, but he had insisted that he wanted to pick me up from my apartment. "What sort of date would it be otherwise?" He had cheekily asked, waiting for me to write down my address. I was also more than aware of his punctuality by now, I had concluded it must be a British boarding school thing since he had never been late for our meetings either.

My breath hitched when I opened the door. Henry was dressed in a white Henley and denim pants with the fabric of the t-shirt stretching deliciously over his muscular frame. He had his signature smile on his face, his hair looking curlier than it did at work and a big bouquet of flowers in his hand. He had a nice stubble growing and I couldn’t believe how matured and handsome he looked.

“Aren’t you looking smart,” I remarked, leaning against the door.

Henry looked down at himself. “Am I under-dressed or over-dressed?” His right eyebrow raised up with confusion and his words poured out in his thick British accent.

“You actually look perfect. I might look like a bag of trash next to you.” I looked down at myself and scrunched up my nose at my bright yellow graffiti t-shirt tucked into my denim hot shorts paired with black boots. Looking back to Henry, I wondered how a man could look classy in just two pieces of clothing when I had spent an hour searching for clothes and yet looked like a misplaced schoolgirl.

“Trust me, no one would be looking my way when you are walking beside me,” he smiled, not the tight-lipped one but the big smile with all his teeth showing. I had hardly ever seen him smile that way around his colleagues and even in private he had been a little reserved in the beginning.

Today he seemed special, charming rather, which made my stomach knot up into butterflies and my cheeks flush with the realization about my attraction towards the man standing in front of me.

Putting the bouquet that he handed out to me and grabbing my bag off the table, we were out of my apartment and embracing New York city’s sunny summer day.

“Where are we going first?” I asked as we walked along the sidewalk. I looked around and the streets were busy with cars and people going to places.

“I have to confess,” Henry started. He slid his hands inside his pockets. “I don’t have anything extravagant planned, but I do intend to make your day special.”

I had to look up to him when I spoke with the difference of a foot in our heights. “As friends.” I added. My heart clenched in a weird way when I said it but those were the boundaries we had set early on.

Henry looked down at me. His steps faltered for a moment, but he played it off with nonchalance. “Yes, of course.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I was thinking we can start it off by having breakfast. I’m starving.”

I snorted. “My Sunday hasn’t even practically begun so-”

“You should pay attention towards your health, love.” He chided while coming to a halt at the crosswalk. “There’s a café right there, maybe we can grab a bite and continue on our adventure.” He smiled with his raised eyebrow.

Henry wasn’t a normal human being; he was a muscular monstrosity. I mentally laughed at myself for exaggerating about him. Nonetheless, he was a six feet tall hunk of muscle with ripped arms and a stomach that stayed taut even after having food. Not that I was complaining about anything, in fact I loved a man with a nice appetite.

“Sounds good.” I chipped in.

When the signal turned green, Henry grabbed my hand unannounced, and we walked across the street together. I could remember all the times he had held my hands in a moment of passion to either pin them above my head or entwine them with his when we were in deep throes of love making. But never had his touch felt so electrifying, yet so gentle and safe. My heart had also decided to jump up to my throat making those mere minutes feel like a lifetime.

Once on the other side, Henry had taken his time on letting go of my hand. I had been reluctant to let go too, feeling a sudden wave of emptiness and cold when his hand had left mine. We had both awkwardly smiled at each other and made our way towards the quaint café on the side of the street.

“Why did you really decide to ask me out?” I sprung the question onto him as soon as we grabbed a seat outside after ordering our breakfast.

“Well,” I seemed to have caught him off guard since he fumbled with his words, “I just thought…we hadn’t spent a time when we weren't…you know-” He gestured at the air between us with his hands.

I couldn’t help but feel amused. Henry was a thirty-eight year old man with a rugged personality. When he commanded in the office, or in bed, people always listened to him. Watching him try to form coherent sentences made my lips break out in a smile.

Henry lifted a muscled arm to scratch the back of neck with embarrassment. “You know what I mean-”

“I do. But I would love to hear you explain it to me again.” I teased with my chin in my hands and my elbows resting on the table.

“Hey, now you’re just pulling my leg.”

When the waitress arrived with their ample serving of Americanized version of English breakfast, Henry did not stop complaining about the authenticity of the dish and the inaccuracies. I just rolled my eyes and carried on with my meal when Henry decided to reminisce about breakfast back home for the umpteenth time.

“We should leave now.”

I stopped mid-way in finishing my coffee. “What?”

Henry looked at his watch again and downed his tea in one swift gulp. “We would be late for something.” He pulled out his wallet and paid the bill before I could even object and pulled me up on my feet.

“Wait, wait,” I sipped the last of my coffee before Henry almost ran whilst holding my hand. He quickly waved for a taxi. He was taking me to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and he wanted to reach there before the ticket line got too long.

“Okay,” I had turned to my side to look at Henry. “Since when are you into art?”

“Since I was a kid.” He casually shrugged his shoulder. “I am not an ardent fan, but I have been planning to visit the Met.”

“Well, I have lived here for the past five years and I have visited that place only once.” I stared out the cab’s window out into the active Sunday morning. I had never tried to ask him about his life. We never had discussed anything intimate. And it was weird because now I was noticing tiny details about him in his everyday life.

It scared me.

I was surprised that Henry had planned according to the Met timings. We had stood in the line for tickets and had only two couples and their kids in front of us. It didn’t take us long and before we knew it, we were in the middle of the huge hall with people beginning to file inside behind us.

I had thought I would be dying to bail out from staring at the paintings. But I was so mesmerized by Henry obediently reading all the information about the numerous artworks. While he was looking over at the Van Gogh painting, he had his hands interlocked behind his back and transfixed on the details. I had stood a few steps back and stared at him. I was suddenly looking at the most handsome man in my life. He looked like royalty even in his casual clothes, leaning over slightly to catch the details.

He occasionally would explain tid-bits that he knew about the paintings or the painters. I listened to them without interrupting even though I was not interested in the arts. But I didn’t feel like letting him know because I didn't want him to think I was weird.  Internally, I was wondering why I was so perplexed about him finding out how peculiar I was.

“You did not enjoy that, did you?” Henry asked as we walked down the signature Met stairs outside.

I shoved my hands inside my short's pockets. I apologetically looked up at him. “I’m sorry. I am just-just not that into-” I just gestured towards the entirety of the building with a side glance.

Henry smiled. “No problem, love. I have other things planned.”

And he had planned many more things to do. From the Met he had taken me on a sightseeing tour of New York city. Henry has been in the city for almost half a year now, but he had not dared to venture out alone. Everything was new for him and despite it being not as exciting for me, I just wasn’t bored. We took a walk up the promenade and looked at the Atlas across the Saint Patrick’s Cathedral. We continued our walk to reach the New York Public Library. We clicked a couple of selfies, Henry’s sister had asked him to send pictures, on the streets and in front of the buildings. I couldn’t stop laughing when a random pigeon decided to sit on the pole beside Henry while he was posing for a picture.

The most exciting part was sharing the ‘Whispering Gallery’ with Henry in Grand Central station. I kept on laughing while Henry said silly words on the other side. I clasped my hand over my mouth, but I was sure he could hear me laugh. People ran behind us to reach the station upstairs but we both were engrossed in each other on opposite corners.

“Where do you suggest we go next?” He asked from his corner.

“We can spend some time on the Brooklyn Bridge.” I glanced at my wristwatch and it was way past our lunch time. My stomach growled in response.

“I reckon we could get lunch first, yeah?” Henry asked from his corner.

I had to whip my head behind to look at him. I was surprised that he had suggested lunch when I had been thinking the same thing. Although it seemed like he was just next to me, I could see his back, his broad shoulders stretching the t-shirt as he was hunched over near the pillar.

“Anya?” He called out to me from his corner. I loved hearing my name in his accent, even when he moaned it sometimes under his breath when he was about to reach his high, it sounded unique and sexy.

We rushed together to catch the subway train to Brooklyn Bridge. We had decided to grab something on our way to the bridge, but in the subway rush and looking out for each other to make sure the other was safe, we forgot to stop for lunch and took the ramp up to the bridge instead.

People were clicking pictures, talking while looking out to the river or some just walking by or riding their bicycles. Henry pulled me to an empty spot where we could take a breather away from the crowd.

“This feels so good,” I breathed in the musky, river smell. A shiver also ran down along my spine as the wind hit me making me rub my hands together to warm them.

“Are you cold?” Henry stepped closer to me. His eyebrows were scrunched together, and worry etched across his face.

“No.” I shook my head while smiling at the tenderness he was showing. I placed a hand on his stomach to keep him at arm’s length. All I could feel was hard muscles, even though he had a layer of clothing on.

But Henry stepped closer until he was right in front of me. He placed both of his hands on either side of my body on the metal railing behind. He looked down at me, his expression changing from worry to smoulder. I looked up at him with raised eyebrows. I was trying extremely hard to act nonchalant, but my heart had jumped up and was racing.

“Will it be inappropriate to kiss you?” His voice was barely a whisper, I almost missed it over the howling wind.

I was not going to mind a kiss. I had been on the Bridge before, even with Jake, but I never had felt so heightened with desire. I nodded slightly which was enough for Henry as he leaned down to trap my lips with his. I felt our lips move in sync with each other as he wound an arm around my waist, and I reciprocated by throwing my arms around his neck.

It felt different to me. We had kissed a gazillion times by now but today it felt strange, in a good way. I felt the noise and the people around us vanish and could only feel Henry’s body pressed up against me and his lips pulling on my bottom lip.

When we broke apart, both of us were heaving to catch our breaths with tiny smiles lacing our lips. I looked away desperately trying to calm my racing heart. I rubbed my hands together again as a shiver ran up my spine. This time I couldn’t differentiate whether it was from the wind or the deeply personal kiss we had just shared.

“So, um-” Henry coughed and stood back, still keeping his arms on either side of me. “Tell me something about you that I don’t already know.”

“Really?” I pulled my hair back to tie in a ponytail less for the ends kept hitting my face but mostly because I was feeling awkwardly placed on the spot. But Henry looked at me expectantly to carry on, still keeping me trapped between his arms. “Um… I came to the city five years ago, got into NYU for my MBA and barely completed the course.” I chuckled to myself thinking how worried I had been the first year when I couldn’t get even the passing grade.

“What about your family?” Henry questioned, letting go of his arms and coming to stand next to me against the railing.

“It’s just me and my parents. They live in California, where I was born. My mother is a second generation Indian while my dad is as American as one can get. Although he has a bit of Irish in him.” I giggled thinking about the various festivals my mom used to make us celebrate while dad and I would exchange looks before grumpily walking away. “Both of them work for software firms and are way smarter than me. Sometimes I question how they got a dumb daughter like me.”

“Hey, don’t say that.” He bumped his shoulder against mine. “You don’t give yourself enough credit.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I brushed him off by shaking my head. But I could feel my cheeks heating up with his words for which I coughed to distract myself. “What about you? Why I think you are a son of a duke or something?”

Henry laughed loudly at my question, holding onto his belly as his shoulders shook. His rumbling laughter was like a melody to my ears and I could not help but stare at him in awe.

“No, no. Not a duke's son. My father was an English Professor, he's retired now. While my mother has always been a homemaker. Gina was into fashion since she was a teenage and for that she moved to Paris and has her own boutique there.”

When he spoke about his family, the admiration for them poured out in waves. I could see the twinkle in his eye when he thought back to them, a gentle smile on his face as he described how he used to annoy his sister when they were younger. All this while I had never tried to look at him as anyone other than a nice weekend escapade. I felt like a heartless whore when I listened to him talk, hating myself again to have ran out on him several weeks ago.

“You’re staring.” His unexpected statement along with a nudge from his hand to my arm, brought my attention back onto him. “Am I boring you?”

“Wha-No!” I adjusted my bag on my shoulder, fixing my t-shirt over my chest, trying to ward off the disgust I felt towards myself. I had been a horrible person towards him and yet here we were with him still treating me like a human being. “So Gina is pregnant again? Are you excited to meet your new niece…or is it going to be a nephew?” I tried engaging him in the conversation, while letting the self-loathing to subside in my head.

“Oh, I’m going to have another niece. But yes, I’m excited to meet the little one and hold her in my arms.” He looked up at the sky in a dreamy way. I could feel the longing in his voice and the excitement of seeing his soon to be born niece. “Hopefully, she'll be born by the time I go back home for Christmas and I can stay behind for her christening.”

“You would be going home for Christmas?” I felt a pinch in my heart at imaging him gone for the holidays.

Henry looked down at me, nodding while running a hand through his hair. “Probably stay there until after New Year.”

“Oh.” It shouldn’t have bothered me that I would be spending Christmas alone this year around too. We were not lovers; we were not in a relationship of any sort. I wasn’t even sure if we were friends.

“Do you have plans for the holidays?”

I pursed my lips while shaking my head at him. I had planned to go to California, back to my parents for Christmas away from the cold, but they had already booked tickets to Sydney for their Australian vacation. My handful of friends were going to be busy with their own families and Kaira would be in Boston to attend her ex-husband’s wedding, which left me here alone for the holidays. A sudden dread filled me with impending loneliness on the horizon.

“I’m going to be here. No plans.”

“Why don’t you come with me to England? You can spend the holidays with us.” His eyes lit up like the Christmas lights. He had placed his hand over my shoulder gently, but I was feeling like the skin underneath my clothes were on fire.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Flattered as I was, I was more shocked that he had offered to take me home.

“Come on, my family wouldn’t mind.”

“What would you tell them, silly? That I am your friend?”

“Yes.”

I sighed and momentarily closed my eyes. I felt happy that he had at least offered for me to come along with him. But I was already breaking my own rule by indulging in pleasantries outside the bedroom; to go to his hometown would be pushing our arrangement too far.

“Henry, thank you. But I really, really, don’t think it’s a good idea. I have spent Christmas alone. I’ll be fine.” I lied but it was necessary.

Henry did not give any warning before engulfing me in a tight hug. My arms hung to my side and surprise filled my mind.

“If you don’t want me to go, just say it.” He said against ny hair and squeezed my body a little tighter. His voice was so tender and his hot breath was brushing against my ear enough to make my entire body shiver. I wrapped her arms around him too.

“I’ll be fine, Henry. I’ll be here when you come back and then we can have hot and heavy sex to make up for your absence.” I giggled while slowly running my hand up and down his back reassuringly.

Henry looked up but did not let go of me. He placed one hand over my cheek and looked deeply into my eyes. He didn’t speak, not even a single word, but only stared at me with emotions I could not read. He leaned in and ever so gently kissed my lips. I grabbed his t-shirt, holding on to him like my life depended on it.

After the kiss, Henry didn’t let go of my hand. We stared out towards the city and the waters while he told me about his childhood and his boarding school experiences. I would glance at him while he wasn’t looking, fleeting thoughts about us being more than just co-workers running through my mind. I couldn’t understand why I was being affected by everything he did. I had had other sexual experiences since Jake, but none had stuck around for so long.

I could have spent the entire day tracing his face with my eyes but then I was reminded about Kaira coming over later in the evening. I gently tugged his hand to pull his attention when he was waving at a cute kid in a stroller.

“Yeah?” He asked, his face looking beautiful with the smile.

“I have to be home before eight. My sister is going to come over for dinner.” I shivered as a gush of wind swept past them. “I’m also kind of hungry.”

“Let us get some food in you.” Throwing his arm over my shoulder, he kissed the top of my head, making my entire body tingle.

After a scrumptious pizza in Brooklyn, we took the East River Ferry back to Manhattan. The entire ferry ride, Henry had his arm around my shoulder with me nestled next to him with my arms wrapped around his waist. The sun was about to set soon, and Henry wanted to get up to the One World Observatory. We strolled all the way from Pier 11 to the observatory, while I gave him a few pointers about hangout places around the area.

When we reached the top, the view was breath taking. It was crowded, it being a weekend too, but we were able to watch the sunset over the Manhattan skyline. As the setting sun painted the sky in hues of orange and purple, it dawned on me that our date was coming to an end. We were stood next to each other looking out, but my mind was far, far away. My heart clenched when I thought back on the days I had yearned for something like this and had found myself curled up on my bed, alone and dejected. I sniffed as quietly as I could, trying to blink through my tears with the overwhelming memories, but Henry must have caught onto it.

Henry reached out a hand to hold mine. He intertwined our fingers together and was silent again. We somehow, didn’t need words. I could feel the warmth radiating from him and I felt secure. I squeezed his hand a little and he smiled at me.

“This day was wonderful.” I commented as I watched the sun disappear behind the horizon and the city being washed in orange. The lights were being switched on the buildings and the nightscape was coming alive.

I tried to reason with him about letting me take the subway back to my apartment, but Henry was adamant on dropping me back home. When we reached my building, I instantly spotted Kaira sitting on the steps, no doubt waiting for me. I had stupidly turned my phone on silent and when I fished it out from my bag, I found several messages and calls from my sister.

“Where have you been?! You had me worried!” Kaira punched my shoulder while I apologised to her.

“I’m sorry.” I pleaded, looking over my shoulder to spot Henry standing a few paces away from us. “I was actually out with… Henry.” I tried to mask the reluctance in my voice to introduce him. It wasn’t that I was ashamed of things happening between us, but I was worried about Henry’s reaction on getting introduced to my sister.

The knowing look in Kaira’s eyes had my cheeks heating. I bumped her hand with mine when her lips broke out into a smirk, mischief dancing in her eyes.

“Hello.” Henry waved at Kaira, stepping closer to stand right next to me. “I hope we didn’t keep you waiting for long.”

“Oh no, I was only worried about where my sister ran off to. If I had known she was on a date-”

“Friend date.” I interjected, cursing under my breath as the words left my mouth before I could process them. I did not dare to look at Henry, only concentrating on Kaira’s face which had a look of surprise all over.

“Well,” I could be wrong but there was an unmistakable sadness in Henry’s voice, “I should go now. It was nice meeting you.” He turned to leave and I stared at his back as he walked away.

“You’re stupid. Don’t let him leave like that.” Kaira pushed me forward to follow Henry’s retreating figure. I got to my senses and called out to him, jogging up to where he had stopped to look behind.

“Thank you so much for today. I had an amazing time and you, sir, are spoiling me with all the fun.” I meant it. I had not been this happy in a long time.

“Don’t thank me. You deserve some spoiling. You deserve everything.”

The last line made my heart skip a beat as soon as it registered in my mind.

I closed my eyes momentarily to bask in this renewed feeling. Reaching out to Henry with an outstretched hand, I watched as he shook his head and took a hold of my hand with his. He leaned in and rested his forehead against mine. My entire being was engulfed in a sense that had become so foreign to me. I had nearly forgotten what it felt like to be with someone who wasn’t only seeing me for my body. Like a much-needed aide, a reassurance, Henry captured my lips with his. I did not hesitate and wound my arms around his body, letting him pull me closer to have my body flush against his. I felt his tongue asking for permission to enter and I let him without hesitation. He deepened the kiss and I completely lost myself in him.

I had reluctantly let go of him and said goodbye as he had hailed a cab back to Manhattan. Kaira had been quick to conclude everything about Henry and me, knowing before I could confirm, that he was the guy I was sleeping with. She had badgered me for details, but I had shooed off the topic and busied myself with fixing dinner.

Later in the night after dinner, Kaira had taken refuge on the couch for the night while I had taken a quick shower. I dropped a text to Henry asking if he had reached safely and thanked him again about the wonderful time I had with him. He was quick to respond with a smiling emoji.

I had laid back on my bed with the phone clutched to my chest, thinking about the happenings of the day. Not once had Henry hinted that he wanted anything sexual to happen between us at the end of the day; his kisses had felt gentle rather than fiery with expectation. I thought back on how he had asked me to accompany him to London and how much I would love to travel with him. But then it also scared me to think I was already so much invested into ‘us’ and if it were to end…

A notification made my phone vibrate in my hand, breaking my dreadful train of thoughts. When I clicked to the incoming message from Henry, my heart instantly warmed up. The message had a picture attached of him huddled under the blankets with ‘Goodnight Love’ written underneath it. He looked exhausted with his eyes already heavy with sleep. But his smile was what made me trace his lips on the screen with my fingertips. Taking a deep breath, I typed a ‘goodnight’ and switched off the lights, got under the blankets and instantly missed the warmth from Henry’s body.

I was not going to admit it, not even to myself, but I knew meeting Henry was the best thing to happen to me in a while.

[sparkypantaloons]

Only Pieces

Every time he sees Jason he has to remind himself that it’s real. His son, his precious boy, is here and breathing and living. But, alive or not, he still died. And that bit never goes away.

Jason came back, but Bruce still mourns his death.

Love is the whole thing. We are only pieces.

It hits Bruce out of nowhere. Like a rabid wolf materialising out of the warm afternoon air, savaging him in to pieces of the man he once was. Breath, bone and sinew; torn apart and thrown up into the atmosphere. He can’t see, he can’t hear, he can’t speak. Why would he need to? He’s nothing but fragments now. Left to rot down into dust.

“You okay, B?” Tim asks, looking at him concerned.

He pulls his mortarboard hat off Jason’s head, elbows his brother in the ribs.

Bruce blinks. Tries to pull the shards of himself back together. Cobble them into something that resembles human.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost, old man.” Jason says, side-eyeing him. He shrugs off the graduation gown as he speaks, throws it over Tim’s head.

Tim huffs, grabbing at the swathes of fabric. His hair sticks up in all directions as the cloth falls into his hands.

Bruce manages a stiff nod. Clears his throat. “We need to leave in five.” He says. The words rise in his throat like glass.

Tim shrugs. “Ready when you are.”Jason doesn’t say anything. He just stares at the older man, eyes narrowed.

Bruce turns. Leaves the library. His vision is blurring, he feels like he might be sick.

Somehow he finds his way to his study. He closes the door more heavily than he intended and it rattles in its frame. The sound is like an assault, all at once too loud and barely audible over the rushing in his ears.

He sits in the chair behind his desk. Gropes for the second drawer down on the right hand side. The whiskey bottle rattles as he yanks the drawer open. Then the liquid rattles down his throat as he drinks straight from the bottle. It doesn’t burn the way it used to, but it still works. Just.

His senses return. Taste first, then smell, the woody flavour of the spirit left lingering in his mouth. Then he can feel the bottle in his hand, round and smooth under his calloused fingers. He watches the liquid settle as he places it down on the desk, the blurring at the edge of his vision disappearing. He can breathe again.

He slumps back in the chair, tilts his head back and takes a deep breath through his nose. A tear escapes the corner of his eye before he can stop it. He wipes it away quickly and takes another deep breath. He can’t do this now.

“Master Bruce?” Alfred is stood in the doorway. His eyes slide from the younger man to the bottle on his desk, and he tilts his head knowingly. “The boys are waiting.” He says gently.

Bruce nods. His eyes are in danger of blurring again. “Jason, he…” He croaks. He screws his eyes shut, takes another steadying breath.

“I know, Master Bruce.” Alfred says kindly. “I saw.”

~

Bruce drives Tim to his graduation ceremony and Dick comes too. Tim makes his brother sit in the back because even if Dick is the oldest, it’s Tim’s graduation. They chatter away on the journey and Bruce makes sure to laugh or interject at the right moments, to frown or make disapproving sounds when he should. But he’s gripping the steering-wheel too tightly and he’s not fool enough to think they haven’t noticed.

When they arrive, they have photos taken of the three of them. Dick and Bruce in dark blue suits, Tim in between them in his academic regalia. They grin brightly but Bruce only just remembers to let go of Tim when it’s over. Remember’s that he can’t hold his children in his arms forever, no matter how much he wants to.

They mingle before the ceremony, meeting some of Tim’s friends and their families. Brucie Wayne comes out, and Bruce manages to lose himself in the performance. He almost convinces himself that he’s okay, is sure that he will have at least convinced the boys. But when he and Dick take their seats in the hall and Tim has left to sit with the rest of his class, Dick reaches down and takes his hand. He squeezes it tightly and says under his breath “You’re okay, Bruce. It’s okay.”

Bruce has to take another deep breath, then makes the command decision that enough is enough. He slips his hand out of Dick’s, takes out his phone and opens an old WhatsApp group. He sends a short message, then mutes the chat before any replies come through.Today is about Tim.

Bruce slips the phone back into his pocket. He can fall apart later.

~

Tim accepts his degree and they have more photos. He throws his mortarboard higher than any of the other graduates, and then he puts the cape on Bruce and the hat on Dick for one last photo, grinning between them and clutching his certificate, one arm wrapped tightly around Bruce’s waist.

Back at the Manor there are more photos and Alfred opens some champagne. Steph and Babs are there, Cass and Damian and Jason too. Together they laugh and hug and clink glasses and order pizza for dinner, because Tim didn’t want Alfred cooking when he should be celebrating with his family.

Bruce lets himself slip under the surface of the noise, the sound of his children, bickering and joking and breathing and growing. The sound of the living. He lets the sheer life of them wash over him, feels the splinters of his heart float to the surface. He can breathe again.

Dick watches him from across the room. Bruce pretends not to notice.

~

It’s a long few hours later when he checks his phone. The old group chat full with unannounced messages.

He slips quietly out of the drawing room. The hallway is cold away from the warmth of his family. He suppresses a chill and makes his way to his study.

Sat at his desk in the quiet and the dark, he feels some of his resolve seep out of him. The Zoom loading wheel spins, then faces begin to populate the screen. There’s Judy in the top right, her horn rimmed glasses sitting atop her thick curly hair. Sal is just beneath her, his French bulldog snoozing in his lap. Top left is Bhavin, Ganesh sat on a shelf behind him, peeking out behind the cloud of white hair. Beneath him, in the bottom left of the screen, is Bruce. Elbows resting on the desk, heels of his hands pressed into his eyes.

“Oh darlin’.” Sal’s southern drawl comes through the speakers. “What happened?”

Bruce can’t speak. His throat has closed up. He’s trying desperately to force his tears back into his eyes, but they slip down under his hands anyway.

"Didn’t your boy graduate today?” Bhavin asks. He’s lived in the US fifty years, but his voice still carries the sound of his native Mumbai.Bruce manages a nod.

“Ah damn.” Judy says softly, pushing a hand to her chest. “That’s hard.”

“It’s been years.” Bruce croaks out. “This shouldn’t… I shouldn’t…”

“Shouldn’t what?” Bhavin asks him sharply. “Shouldn’t still mourn your child? What his life could have been?”

Bruce takes a deep breath. He finally looks at the screen. “I just… I know today was about Tim, but all I could see was Jason in the cap and gown, clear as day. And all I could think was how he should have graduated. How he should have grown up and been safe and happy and whole and…” He trails off. Stops himself before the tears threaten to spill again.

“He should have.” Judy says emphatically. “Jason should have had all those things. And so should my Tiana, and Sal’s Michelle and Bhavin’s Darshan.”

“It’s not fair.” Sal adds. “It’s not fucking fair and it’ll never be easy. Because you love your boy and he shouldn’t have been taken so soon.”

“My Darshan died forty years ago.” Bhavin says solemnly. “I still cry. I still wonder what he would be like now, who he would have become. Still rage he is not here with me. It never goes away.”

Bruce nods, and it’s Bhavin’s last sentence that keeps the guilt at bay. Because of course Bruce can’t tell them that Jason isn’t dead anymore. He can’t tell them how Jason dragged his small broken bones out of his own grave and clawed his way back to life. How he’s currently sat not fifty feet away, under Bruce’s own roof, surrounded by family and warmth and love.

And part of it doesn’t feel fair. That his boy came back when their children didn’t. But he’d gladly spend the rest of eternity paying whatever debt it is he owes for that miracle. Every time he sees Jason he has to pinch himself, remind himself that it’s real. His son is alive, his precious boy is here and breathing and living.

But, alive or not, he still died. And that bit never goes away.The grief of it comes out of nowhere. On a Tuesday afternoon, in the middle of a board meeting, or out on patrol on a Thursday night. It’ll hit him when he’s eating breakfast, or brushing his teeth, when he’s in the gym, or lying in bed… and the ground will fall out from under him. He’ll plummet into an abyss of grief and despair and rage. His boy, his darling boy. Dead. The life he could have lived, the wonder he could have been. Gone.

Because even if Jason is back, is alive, the dying never goes away.

All the pain and torment that came with it is here to stay, for good. He’ll never be what he could have been and Jason never deserved that.

It’s these three people, these once-strangers, who in some ways helped keep him alive just as much as Tim did, that bring him back from that edge. People who understand just as well as him that feeling of loss. How a taste or a smell can mean nothing one day and have you drowning the next.

Bruce hadn’t bothered to respond when Leslie had suggested he join a support group. She couldn’t possibly understand what it was to lose a child; what value could her advice possibly have? But then the rational part of his mind, what sad, little fragment of it was left, said that a support group could understand. That that was the whole point.

So he’d done it. Apprehensive though he was, he’d shown up on a rainy Wednesday evening all those years ago. At a church hall that wasn’t quite warm enough, serving coffee that was all but cold. Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd’s father. Turns out grief takes the edge off celebrity. Judy and Sal and Bhavin didn’t care who he was, only what he’d been through, only what he’d lost. Being a billionaire didn’t make you immune from loss. Hell, neither did being Batman. Nothing did. They understood that. In a way no-one else in his life did. And all these years later they understood it, still.

“You’re allowed to be sad, Bruce.” Judy says. “A hundred years from now you’re still allowed to be sad. But you have to keep on.”

“Remember Tim did it for him too.” Sal says. “Your boys and Cass are living for Jason too. Just like you are.”

Judy and Bhavin nod in agreement and Bruce finds himself joining in.

“Thank you.” He says. And he means it. “As always.”

“Any time, beta.” Bhavin says. “Any time.”

The screen goes black, and Bruce sits with his thoughts a moment. Already a weight has started to lift and he finds himself glad the night isn’t over yet. That his family is waiting just a short walk away.

Ace pads into the room, rest his head on Bruce’s knee. He scratches the dog behind his ears.

“Err… what are you doing?”

Bruce startles. Dick is stood in the doorway, staring at him with a look of concern.

“Why are you sat in the dark?”

Bruce can’t quite help himself when he says. “I’m Batman.”

Dick rolls his eyes so aggressively they might pop out of his head.

“What are you two doing?” Jason walks in to join them. “Why are you in here in the dark?”

“Why are you in here in the dark?” Dick shoots back.

“I came looking for you.” Jason shoves Dick lightly.

“I came looking for him.” Dick shoves him right back.

Bruce stands and walks towards them. He can't help but smile. “Mission accomplished.” He says. “What fine detectives you both are.”

This time Jason rolls his eyes, but Dick says, “You okay, B?”

Bruce nods, puts his arms around both of their shoulders as they leave the study, and maybe, just maybe, he squeezes Jason a little tighter than normal, relishes the solid aliveness of his second son in his arms. “I’m fine.” He says. “Just fine.”