#stem student who is STRUGGLING

[poisonedbeyondrepair]

The duality of man

Finals are here and I get to peruse my doodles from the semester… and the Creature stares into my soul every goddamn page ( ；∀；) just sprinkled around like some deranged fairy amongst notes for my masters in biomed

[visenyaism]

do you have any ideas about why so many students are struggling with literacy now? I know that illiteracy and reading comprehension have been issues for years and most americans read at like a 5th grade reading level but I’m curious why it seems to be worse now (pandemic? no child left behind?)

It is everything. There’s not one answer. I could talk about this forever so instead I set a five minute timer on my phone and wrote a list of as many of the many things that are causing this on a systemic level that I could think of:

It’s parents not reading with their kids (a privilege, but some parents have that privilege to be able to do this and don’t.)

It’s youtube from birth and never being bored.

It’s phasing out phonics for sight words (memorizing without understanding sounds or meaning) in elementary schools in the early aughts.

It’s defunding public libraries that do all the community and youth outreach.

It’s NCLB and mandating standardized tests which center reading short passages as opposed to longform texts so students don’t build up the endurance or comprehension skills.

It’s NCLB preventing schools from holding students back if they lack the literacy skills to move onto the next grade because they can’t be left behind so they’re passed on.

It’s the chronic underfunding of ESL and Special Ed programs for students who need extra literacy support.

It’s the cultural devaluing of the humanities in favor of stem and business because those make more money which leads to a lot of students to completely disregard reading and writing.

It’s the learning loss from covid.

It’s covid trauma manifesting in a lot of students as learned helplessness, or an inability to “figure things out” or push through adversity to complete challenging tasks independently, especially reading difficult texts.

It’s covid normalizing cheating and copying.

It’s increasing phone use.

It’s damage to attention span exacerbated by increased phone use that leaves you without an ability to sit and be bored ever without 2-3 forms of constant stimulation.

It’s shortform video becoming the predominant form of social media content as opposed to anything text-based.

It’s starting to also be generative AI.

It’s the book bans.

what did I miss.

[batboyblog]

Things the Biden-Harris Administration Did This Week #39

October 18-25 2024.

President Biden issued the first presidential apology on behalf of the federal government to America's Native American population for the Indian boarding school policy. For 150 years the federal government operated a system of schools which aimed to destroy Native culture through the forced assimilation of native children. At these schools students faced physical, emotional, and sexual abuse, and close to 1,000 died. The Biden-Harris Administration has been historic for Native and Tribal rights. From the appointment of the first ever Native American cabinet member, Secretary of the Interior Deb Haaland, to the investment of $46 billion dollars on tribal land, to 200 new co-stewardship agreements. The last 4 years have seen a historic investment in and expansion of tribal rights.

The Biden-Harris Administration proposed a new rule which would make contraceptive medication (the pill) free over the counter with most Insurance. The new rule would ban cost sharing for contraception products, including the pill, condoms, and emergency contraception. On top of over the counter medications, the new rule will also strength protections for prescribed contraception without cost sharing as well.

The EPA announced its finalized rule strengthening standards for lead paint dust in pre-1978 housing and child care facilities. There is no safe level of exposure to lead particularly for children who can suffer long term developmental consequences from lead exposure. The new standards set the lowest level of lead particle that can be identified by a lab as the standard for lead abatement. It's estimated 31 million homes built before the ban on lead paint in 1978 have lead paint and 3.8 million of those have one or more children under the age of 6. The new rule will mean 1.2 million fewer people, including over 300,000 children will not be exposed to lead particles every year. This comes after the Biden-Harris Administration announced its goal to remove and replace all lead pipes in America by the end of the decade.

The Department of Transportation announced a $50 million dollar fine against American Airlines for its treatment of disabled passengers and their wheelchairs. The fine stems from a number of incidences of humiliating and unfair treatment of passages between 2019 and 2023, as well as video documented evidence of mishandling wheelchairs and damaging them. Half the fine will go to replacing such damaged wheelchairs. The Biden administration has leveled a historic number of fines against the airlines ($225 million) for their failures. It also published a Airline Passengers with Disabilities Bill of Rights, passed a new rule accessible lavatories on aircraft, and is working on a rule to require airlines to replace lost or damaged wheelchairs with equal equipment at once.

The Department of Energy announced $430 million dollars to help boost domestic clean energy manufacturing in former coal communities. This invests in projects in 15 different communities, in places like Texas, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Kentucky, and Michigan. The plan will bring about 1,900 new jobs in communities struggling with the loss of coal. Projects include making insulation out of recycled cardboard, low carbon cement production, and industrial fiber hemp processing.

The Department of Transportation announced $4.2 billion in new infrastructure investment. The money will go to 44 projects across the country. For example the MBTA will get $400 million to replace the 92 year old Draw 1 bridge and renovate North Station.

The Department of Transportation announced nearly $200 million to replace aging natural gas pipes. Leaking gas lines represent a serious public health risk and also cost costumers. Planned replacements in Georgia and North Carolina for example will save the average costumer there over $900 on their gas bill a year. Replacing leaking lines will also remove 1,000 metric tons of methane pollution, annually.

The Department of the Interior announced $244 million to address legacy pollution in Pennsylvania coal country. This comes on top of $400 million invested earlier this year. This investment will help close dangerous mine shafts, reclaim unstable slopes, improve water quality by treating acid mine drainage, and restore water supplies damaged by mining.

Data shows that President Biden's Inflation Reduction Act (passed with Vice-President Harris' tie breaking vote) has saved seniors $1 billion dollars on out-of-pocket drug costs. Seniors with certain high priced drugs saw their yearly out of pocket costs capped at $3,500 for 2024. In 2024 all seniors using Medicare Part D will see their out of pocket costs capped at $2,000 for the year. It's estimated if the $2,000 cap had been in effect this year 4.6 million seniors would have hit it by June and not have had to pay any more for medication for the rest of the year.

The Department of Education announced a new proposed rule to bring student debt relief for 8 million struggling borrowers. The Biden-Harris Administration has managed despite road blocks from Republicans in Congress, the courts and law suits from Republican states to bring student loan forgiveness to 5 million Americans so far through different programs. This latest rule would take into account many financial hardships faced by people to determine if they qualify to have their student loans forgiven. The final rule cannot be finalized before 2025 meaning its fate will be decided at the election.

The Department of Agriculture announced $1.5 billion in 92 partner-driven conservation projects. These projects aim at making farming more susceptible and environmental friendly, 16 projects are about water conservation in the West, 6 support use of innovative technologies to reduce enteric methane emissions in livestock. $100 million has been earmarked for Tribal-led projects.

[vanessagillings]

I’m posting the ever-so-rare photo of myself alongside one of my characters based on my childhood because today is World Autism Acceptance Day, and I wanted to show my little corner of the internet who this particular autistic person is:  

I was officially diagnosed in February, at age 38 (I’m now 39). A lot of people thought I couldn’t be autistic.  Some people who know me in real life still don’t.  And until around 10 years ago, I didn’t think I could be either, because I was nothing like the stereotype media portrays. I was told that autistics lacked empathy (untrue), and never played make-believe (also often untrue) and only enjoyed STEM.  I was — and am — an empathetic artist -- and make believe?  I can spend days sketching finely bedecked bears brewing tea or carefully choosing the right words to weave tapestries of fiction — though perhaps my hyper focus was a bit of a red flag.  Even so, how could autism describe me?  I was a good student.  I got straight A's. I didn’t act out in class.  I can make eye contact…if I must.  And lots of girls hate having their hair brushed with an unholy passion, right?  Clearly I swim in sarcasm like a fish, so autism couldn't be why I was so anxious all the time, could it?

If someone had told me when I was younger what autism ACTUALLY is — instead of the nonsense I’d seen on screens — I would have seen myself in it.  I didn’t hear that autistics have sensory issues until I was in my mid-twenties, which is when I first began to really research autism symptoms, and I had almost all of them:  sensitivity to light, smells, fabrics, temperatures, textures, and certain touches, all of which make me feel anxious, I fidget (stim), I never know what the hell to do with my hands or where to look, I talk too little or too much, I have special interests, I have entire animated movies memorized shot-by-shot and can remember the first time and place I saw every movie I've ever seen but I often forget what I'm trying to say mid-sentence, I echo movies and tv shows (my husband and I have a whole repertoire of shared echolalias, making up about 20% of our conversations), I was in speech therapy as a kid, I have issues with dysnomia and verbal fluency, I toe-walk, I can't multitask to save my life, I like things just-so, I’m deeply introverted but not shy, I need to recover from all social interaction — even social interaction I enjoy — and I find stupid, every day things like grocery shopping, driving and making appointments overwhelming and intensely stressful, sometimes to the point where I struggle to speak.  It turns out, I am definitely autistic. My results weren't borderline. Not even close. And while these aren’t all of my challenges, and not everyone with these symptoms is autistic, it’s definitely something to look into if you present with all of these things at once. 

So why did it take me so long to get diagnosed? The same bias that exists in media threads through the medical community as well, and because I'm a woman who can discuss the weather while smiling on cue, few people thought I was worth looking into. Even after I was fairly certain I was autistic, receiving an official diagnosis in the US is unnecessarily difficult and expensive, and in my case, completely uncovered by my insurance.  It cost me over $4000, and I could only afford it because my husband makes more money than I do as a freelance illustrator — a job I fell into largely because it didn’t require in-person work; like many autists, I have been chronically underemployed and underpaid, in part due to physical illness in my twenties, which is a topic for another day.  But it shouldn’t be like this.  It shouldn’t be so hard for adults to receive diagnoses and it shouldn’t be so hard for people to see themselves in this condition to begin with due to misinformation and stereotypes. Like many issues in America, these barriers are even higher for marginalized groups with multiple intersectionalities. 

It’s commonly said that if you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person.  This is why it’s called a spectrum, not because there’s a linear progression of severity (someone who appears to have low support needs like myself might need more than it seems, and vice versa), but because every autistic person has their own strengths and weaknesses, challenges and experiences, opinions and needs.  No two people on the spectrum present in the same way.  And that’s a good thing!  No way of being autistic is inherently any better than any other, and even if someone on the spectrum struggles with things I don’t — or can do things I can’t — doesn’t make them more or less deserving of respect and human dignity.

But speaking solely for myself, the more I learn about autism, the happier I am to be autistic.  I struggle to find words and exert fine motor control, but my deep passion and fixation has made me good at art and storytelling anyway.  I find more joy watching dogs and studying leaf shapes on my walks than most people do in an entire day.  More often than not, the barriers I’ve faced weren’t due to my autism directly, but due to society being overly rigid about what it considers a valid way of existing.  My hope in writing this today is that maybe one person will realize that autism isn’t what they thought — and that being different is not the same as being less than. My hope with my fiction is to give autistic children mirrors with which to see themselves, and everyone else windows through which to see us as we actually are.

If you’re interested in learning more about autism or think you might be autistic, too, I recommend the Autism Self Advocacy Network  autisticadvocacy.org and the following books:

What I Mean When I Say I’m Autistic by Annie Kotowicz

We're Not Broken by Eric Garcia

Knowing Why edited by Elizabeth Bartmess

Unmasking Autism by Devon Price, PhD

Loud Hands edited by Julia Bascom

Neurotribes by Steve Silberman

(trigger warning: the last two contain quite a lot of upsetting material involving institutionalized child abuse, but I think it’s important for people to know how often autistic children were — and are — abused simply for being neurodivergent).

Thanks for reading 💛

[seouljazzbar]

selfish (m.)

𓃹𓂃𓂃𓃹𓂃𓂃𓃹𓂃𓂃𓃹𓂃𓂃𓃹𓂃𓂃𓃹

about— wonbin’s a musical prodigy, having worked alongside critically acclaimed producers, and now he’s your guest lecturer for the semester. correction, your hot lecturer for the semester (producer!wonbin x f.reader)

author’s note— this is a little rough but i still like the way it turned out! title is from this song if anyone's curious hehe i think it's wonbin coded lowkey

warning— language, teacher-student dynamic, me blatantly lying about new york/nyu, alcohol use, (soft?) dirty talk, fingering (f. receiving), whiny wonbin, oral (m. receiving), teasing, penetrative sex (with a condom!!) 18+ MDNI!!!

word count— 5.3k

Thursdays and Fridays from four to six, those were his office hours. It was difficult to have office hours that fit everyone’s schedule and that was the best he could do given he was only a guest lecturer. Even worse, he wasn’t given an office for said hours due to the deconstructed nature of the city. Going to university in New York was already far from traditional, and the conditions were no exception. But Wonbin didn’t mind, reserving a nice table on the second floor of Gregory's coffee on Broadway. It wasn't much but it was enough for the four or five students who took advantage of the time.

You were one of them. You knew all too well the struggle of falling behind in a class by thinking you had a handle on the material, only to be drowning in confusion come midterms. The class, The Sociology of Pop Music, interested you too much for you to risk completely flopping just because you failed to utilize your resources. But it wasn’t just your grade that you cared about. It helped that the guest lecturer in question was unbelievably sexy, an absolute dreamboat wunderkind who was just barely older than the students he was in charge of. 

Park Wonbin, musician to the stars. He’d worked with countless acclaimed producers, written for most of the Billboard Hot 100 artists, and even put out his own flawless body of work that gifted him one Grammy and several nominations. He was an absolute icon at the ripe age of twenty-two and you were dying to sink your claws into him. Soft and athletic, inky black waves, a bashful smile and a voice that the heavens surely blessed him with. His presence was more distracting than conducive for your precious six-figure education, your thighs clenching together every Tuesday and Thursday that he took his place at the professor’s podium.

But you weren't the only one. Nearly everyone in the class was crushing on him, eyes batting as they asked elementary questions and giggles erupting at even his worst attempts at jokes. You felt like a dime a dozen lusting after him, gnawing your lower lip at the way his back muscles flexed when he turned to write something on the board. Get a grip, you’d think to yourself. You’re fighting for a slot on a list of many. 

So you amused yourself with your self-labeled delusion, daydreaming about him outside of class and showing up to his office hours to clear up even the smallest of questions about the week’s lectures. He was careful with every word, taking his time to cultivate thorough responses to any and all questions you thought up for him, even ones that stemmed outside of the class's margins. 

You still remember the first time you saw him, your jaw nearly dropping to the floor as he entered the lecture hall like any other student. Except he headed straight for the front of the room, placing his bag down at a table near the podium where the staff chaperone was setting up. He picked up the small expo marker that sat on the table, taking off the cap to write wonbin on the white board in messy penmanship before he followed it up with a squiggly smiley face. You knew who he was, his name notorious in the music wing of your school considering what he’d accomplished at such a young age. His looks definitely didn’t hurt, either.

He smiled at you, sitting in the second row waiting for class to start. Most people opted to sit as far back as possible, in the seats that were easier to slip out of the classroom unnoticed. But you sat proudly in the second row, alongside a few other eager students who’d heard good things about the class. His smile felt so personal, the glint of his teeth nearly causing heart palpitations as you smiled back. He didn’t know your name just yet, and suddenly that was your life’s mission; to make this man say your name.

It almost made you think he was giving you special attention with the way he paid close attention to you, his eyes lighting up whenever you came around the coffee shop steps with your notes in tow. He’d even stay past six o’clock if there were too many people before you who needed help, always offering to buy you a cup of coffee or a pastry after having waited for so long. He was so attentive, leaning into your space to look over the notes you took and making sure you were following along correctly. It was hard not to drool over him, especially when you were two of the last people left on the second floor, looking like a couple to the onlooking world. 

“I’m serious! I think I’m gonna ask him out.”

Winter rolled her eyes, closing the magazine that she was never really reading in the first place. "So, what? You'll fuck his brains out in his office and then walk into class like nothing happened?"

"Actually, he doesn't have an office." The thought made you blush, sneaking around with Wonbin while your classmates and professors were none the wiser. The taboo was too hot for you to let go of.

Another roll of her eyes, this time meant for you to see. "___, get a grip. You're just slobbering all over him because he's famous. At the end of the semester, you'll go back to eyeing that one saxophonist."

Winter was numb to the novelty surrounding celebrity and the likes of it. She was a not so struggling artist whose parents funded her entire lifestyle, and it had been that way her whole life. She'd had her fair share of moments in Page Six, and the lavish New York socialite life had grown old for her. Her friends were still in the scene, but she had long since retired. Winter's idea of a fun Friday night these days included watching The White Lotus while experimenting with cookie recipes (with hopes of making it into the NYT Christmas Cookie lineup, of course).

You didn’t tell any of your college friends, though. Sure, the whole university knew that he was guest-teaching a music-related course and that he was unbelievably attractive, but you never mentioned to your friends that you felt something between the two of you. As much as you trusted your small circle of friends, you knew that student-teacher relationships were absolutely prohibited, no exceptions. Knowing this did nothing to quell the insatiable thirst you had for him, or the flutter of your heart every time he locked eyes with you. You were willing to throw caution to the wind for him, knowing you officially had it bad for him the moment you started doodling his name in your notebook. It got to the point where you were ready to make your move, ready to invite him to an apartment party one of your friends was throwing. 

It was a Thursday evening, another night of attending his office hours despite your ninety-five percent in the class. You were the last student left in the final minutes of his office hours, just the two of you at the moderately sized table of the café. Your hands were mere centimeters from touching where they were laid out on the table, his warmth radiating onto you as he penciled in some helpful reminders in the margins of your notes. Just as you parted your lips to speak, he interjected. “I think it would be best if you stopped coming to office hours.”

That was not what you were expecting him to say. “Oh, um. Alright. Can I ask why?”

“You’ve clearly got an amazing grip on the material, and if anything you’re wasting your time showing up so frequently. It would be better if I had the full two hours for the students who are really struggling.” He refused to look you directly in the eyes as he spoke, opting to stare at your notes instead.

“Oh. Okay.” You gathered up all of your notes and pencils as quickly as you could, shoving them into your backpack without caring if the edges curled. The chair skidded back as you stood from it, not bothering with a goodbye as you saw yourself out. It was humiliating, almost, for him to have given you such a backhanded compliment. You started ruffling through your attendance record in the class and decided that you could afford to miss Tuesday, too embarrassed to be seen by him so soon after.

You really dodged a bullet there, then. Just seconds away from making a move on him when he told you that you should stop showing up to the only semi-private time you had together. It made you feel more delusional than ever before, allowing yourself to think he might actually feel something for you, too. You ignored the tears of frustration teasing the corners of your eyes, running off to the subway station that would deliver you back to your lousy campus housing safely.

What you didn’t see, however, was Wonbin nervously pulling at the ends of his hair. He was always such a bad liar but he knew he needed to put on the performance of a lifetime in order to get you to leave him alone. Considering it was quite the opposite of what he wanted you to do. There was something so intoxicating about you, your voice, your lips, your scent, that had him thoroughly fucked for you. Legally, he didn’t feel bad about it. But the professor he was working under, as well as the university, had already told him that under no circumstances was he to have dalliances with any of the students. So there he was, stuck thinking about you and not being able to do anything about it.

He had everything under control, at first. A few stolen glances during class but nothing to raise suspicion, just long enough for it to seem casual. Then it was finding you on social media, careful not to like any posts or to actually follow you, which made him feel like he was in full creeper mode. That was where he decided to draw the line until you started showing up to his office hours consistently, just as gorgeous as ever as you plopped down next to him in full concentration. He let himself indulge for a while, showering you with just a bit of special treatment until he realized he was crossing into dangerous territory. So he drew the line without a second thought.

You felt like you were back in high school, throwing a fit over being rejected by your longtime crush. All he’d done was politely ask you not to attend office hours anymore, but it felt like he’d told you off. You tried to convince yourself that it was because of your education, that you didn’t appreciate him taking away a resource that was proving itself helpful for you. But the real reason, the one you didn’t want to admit, was that you knew he felt it too. The storybook surge of electricity when his shoulder brushed yours and the way he never offered to get any of the other students coffee and pastries. The way he’d sometimes call you by a nickname when you were together or the way he spoke so highly of you in your exam notes. It was more than a one-sided schoolgirl crush and he was denying it just the same as you, and you couldn’t ignore how much it stung.

Saturday night was your chance to forget all about it. A friend of Winter's had convinced her to open up her ridiculously large penthouse for a laidback party, and she reluctantly agreed. You went to the party having skipped Wonbin’s office hours the evening before, successfully resisting the urge to 'drop by' the coffee shop casually; that would've been worse than just going to office hours. You were ready to let loose, your body a bit tense after the marathon overthinking session you had when Wonbin all but rejected you. All done up in one of your favorite ‘going out’ getups, you set yourself at a three drink maximum before starting the trek there.

You arrived considerably late, the party in full swing by the time you stepped off the elevator and onto the floor. There were so many people, sweaty bodies and intoxicated breaths, so much so that you almost missed him. He was leaning up against one of the kitchen countertops, nursing a drink of his own as he chatted with your friends. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the sight, almost annoyed that you ran in the same circles. But you pushed it aside to go talk to them, knowing they’d have a drink in your hand faster than you could make one. “___! You made it!” Wonbin’s eyes shot up to you making your way over to them, a raspy ‘fuck’ making its way off of his tongue. He suddenly felt trapped, nowhere to run as his student joined his little conversation circle. “Have you met Wonbin?”

“Yeah, we know each other. From around.” You avoided his gaze at all costs. “I need a drink.”

Wonbin quirked an eyebrow at you, “You drink?”

“Yeah, is that a problem?”

He cleared his throat awkwardly, shifting his weight to the other foot as he avoided eye contact with you. “I just, you know… Are you old enough for that?”

“Ew, don’t be gross. I’m a uni student, I’m not in daycare. I’m twenty-one, promise.”

You were baiting him, and he knew it. Your anger was directed at him and only him, your bubbly demeanor intact for your friends as you caught each other up on the last month or so of your lives. You had no intention of making this night, or his life, easy. You knocked back the drink your friend Sohee gave you easily, sending Wonbin a sarcastic wink as he stared at you.

Even though your mind was begging you to run, you refused to let him ruin your night. They were your friends, too, and things were only awkward because he made them so. You stood your ground, pretending like he wasn’t even there as the conversation ebbed and flowed naturally, the party music seeming to follow suit. Everything was fine until someone who’d had too many came barreling into the kitchen, spilling their sticky spiked punch all over your legs. You let out a curse as it spilled into your shoes, the sensation far too uncomfortable to ignore.

“Here, go clean up in my bathroom.” Winter handed you the key, sending you off with a gentle shove in the direction of her bedroom.

You didn’t bother locking the door back behind you, knowing you’d be in and out before anyone could miss you. You took the time to freshen yourself up as well, poking around in Winter’s cabinets to see if she had anything exciting or ridiculously expensive. Perfumes, hand creams, serums. Sometimes you forget how rich New Yorkers could be. You turned the light off in the bathroom, turning to leave when you nearly jumped out of your skin at the pair of eyes watching you. “What the hell are you doing in here?”

“You didn’t lock the door back.”

Wonbin crossed further into the room, hands in his pockets as he watched you. Even when you were irritated with him, his charm was able to cut through your faux harsh exterior. “I'm sorry, is this allowed? Or does this count as office hours, too? Should I see myself out so that other partygoers can take advantage of your precious time?”

“___, stop. I was just trying to make a decision based on what I thought was best.”

You scoffed at that, trying to ignore just how close he’d gotten to you. “Yeah, right. There’s only like five people who bother showing up anymore, so I don’t know why me showing up is such a big deal? Like you must think awfully highly of yourself if you th—”

He cut you off with a swift kiss, lips finding yours in the pale lighting of the bedroom as you froze. Time seemed to slow; just barely noticeable, but you could feel it. Like one minute felt like two with his hands cupping your cheeks and his hips pressed against yours. You relaxed into his touch, daring to kiss back as the party outside seemed to disappear. All your senses could focus on was him and the way he seemed to consume you.

He walked you backwards, stopping as you stumbled into a wall. The once innocent kiss grew in desperation, your hands everywhere at once as your  tongues clashed over and over again. It could’ve easily been a dream with how much you’d both had to drink, the taste of tequila fresh on his lips as you begged for more. Your leg hooked around his waist to draw him closer, a gasp slipping from your lips as you felt how hard he was through his jeans. And then he just stopped.

“Fuck, I shouldn’t have done that.” He was breathless, his words not matching his desire as he slowly backed away from you. “This is exactly what I was trying so hard to avoid. I'm your superior, ___, I'd get fired for this.”

Your mind was blank, not a single thought worthy of being voiced in response to him. You knew it was wrong, knew his position could be terminated, but you didn’t care. Not when his touch was so addictive and your name sounded so sweet on his lips.

“This… this never happened, okay? And it can never happen again.”

He stalked off to rejoin the party, leaving you breathless and unsure of if any of that was real. The only evidence was the faint waft of his cologne that stayed behind, taunting you with the memory of his kiss. His soft, heated, spine-tingling kiss that had your head spinning from the feeling of it. Your lips were puffy from it, fingers reaching up to touch them delicately as if you could scare away the feeling somehow. 

Your thoughts were interrupted by him coming back in, locking the door behind him as you fixed your hunched over posture. “Fuck it, fuck this job, I don’t need to be a guest lecturer.” His hands found your hips as he pulled you in once again, kissing you with much different intent behind it. “This is all I've been able to think about this semester.”

You let out a whimper, clawing at his shirt as his teeth pulled at your lower lip. His hands smoothed their way up your body, cupping your breasts through the material of your shirt as you moaned into his mouth. This felt real, no doubt in your mind as you melted like putty in his hands. “Do something.”

His lips migrated to your ear, licking along the shell of it as your head tipped back. “Do you want my fingers?” You nodded sheepishly, cheeks flooding with heat in a sudden wave of shyness. “Then spread your legs for me, baby.” Your body obeyed him without question, legs spreading for him to slip his hand between. He could feel how wet you were through the pants you were wearing, your underwear no match for the arousal he was responsible for. Your fingers fumbled with the button of them, popping it open and dragging the zipper down.

You knew this was a bad idea. Whether you cared or not, having his hand slip past your panties was wrong on so many levels, no matter how good it felt. His reputation and your academic career were on the line, but you couldn’t will yourself to stop him. Not when your body was yearning for more, thighs clenching at the circles he was rubbing against your clit. Not with his lips scaling your neck with kisses that only made your knees weaker than they already were.

Your resolve finally melted when he slipped a finger into your warm heat, the stretch easily out-rivaling anything your own fingers provided. The relief sent you into a spiral of high pitched sighs and moans as he added another, curling them near perfectly against your g-spot.

“Sound so pretty for me, baby. Wanna put your moans in a song.” The thought alone made your stomach twist, visions of riding him in his studio while he held his microphone up to your lips. He could see the shift in your expression at the suggestion, teeth practically destroying your lower lip. “Is that what you want, baby? Wanna be my muse?”

All you could do was nod as the heel of his palm pressed against your clit, your orgasm crashing over you much sooner than you expected. He kissed you through the waves of pleasure, swallowing the pleas of his name and the whimpers from the slight overstimulation of your clit. The cherry on top, though, was when he licked his fingers clean of your arousal without once breaking eye contact. It made you shudder.

Neither one of you knew where to go from that moment on, the heat of it all long gone as you faced reality head on. You zipped your pants back up to break the silence, fluffing your hands through your hair to alleviate any signs of sexual activity before rejoining the party. Not a word to Wonbin before going back like nothing happened, even though the uncomfortable dampness of your panties said otherwise. 

unsaved number, 3:25am

↳ it’s Wonbin, i got your number from sohee. we should meet soon

you, 9:08am

↳ yeah? where?

wonbin, 9:09am

↳ 150 east 14th st, @ 11

you, 9:12am

↳ smh making me get my day started on a sunday morning

His apartment was as well kept as him, minimalistic in all its glory but decorated with his achievements wherever he saw fit. Awards, records, framed lyrics, any and everything he felt deeply proud of. You knew that you shouldn’t be there, no matter what occurred the night before. Wonbin was irresistible, and giving into his invitation was practically asking for trouble.

“I got coffee and bagels, if you’re hungry.”

Not just any coffee, though. Coffee from Gregory's. Of course he’d do something like this, you thought. He's trying to prey on my sentimentality to get me in bed. Kinda smart. “Why am I here, Wonbin?”

“Well as of three o’clock this morning, I’m no longer your teacher.”

You nearly choked on nothing as he smiled at you, pulling up the email correspondence from the Dean. “I'm sorry, what?”

“I never needed that teaching job, anyway. I took it because it felt good helping students, but it was getting to be too much, cutting into my own work time. And then when we crossed that line last night… I knew quitting was just the right thing to do.” He walked gingerly toward you, assessing your reaction carefully as he closed the gap between you.

You looked at him incredulously, brows furrowed as if he’d grown a second head. “Y-you’re not my teacher anymore?”

“I'm not your teacher anymore.” He backed you up against the wall of his foyer, the position eerily similar to where you were mere hours before. Heat rose to your face as he gazed at you, his smirk painfully malicious as his hand cupped your jaw. “Lemme take you out on a proper date. Dinner… the Angelika… dessert.”

Your gulp seemed to echo the walls of his apartment, giving up any and all fronts you were trying to put up. You could feel his lips hovering over yours more than you could see them, the soft hum that reverberated as he asked you if you’d like that. “I'm… not sure we’ll make it to dessert.”

“I thought I taught you last night to always leave room for dessert.” He popped open the first button of your blouse, getting a peak at the lavender bra beneath it. You’d dressed up for him, knowing very well where things could lead and not wanting him to see you in your far less alluring Sunday attire. Your breath hitched at his touch, your mind shouting for you to just wait for the date before crossing any more lines. But there he was, just as sexy as ever, sliding the sleeves of your top down your arms with his forehead pressed against yours. Youd didn’t stand a chance.

Your back was hitting his mattress before you could gather the strength to hold off, more of your clothes in a tangled web on his floor than on your actual bodies. Your skin was saccharine, a sweetener he’d been searching for ever since he could identify its name and he couldn’t get enough of it. Marks of his lips were blooming on every inch he could reach, your body signed with his name in a way you never knew you needed. His name rolled off your tongue like it was the only word you knew, the two syllables your new favorite combination in the entire world.

His hands guided your slip skirt down your legs, discarding it carefully with the rest of your clothes as you tugged impatiently at his boxers. He was hard, dangerously so, and it was killing you not to see him in all of his naked glory. “Canisuckyouoff?” You didn’t even think about it, the words flying out of your mouth before you could even try to stop them.

“Seriously?” You were already flipping the two of you over, inching your way down his legs until your face was leveled with his hips.

“Yes, please. I wanna make you feel good.”

Nothing could’ve prepared you properly for his length springing out of his black balenciaga underwear. It would’ve been a shame if he wasn’t as well-endowed as you wanted, but you were mature enough to know that it wasn’t all about size. Wonbin, however, was all about size. He was probably just barely above average in length but he was thick with veins in all the right places that had you close to drooling all over him.

You licked at his tip in a graze, not enough to satisfy him but enough to get him squirming. Small, agonizing licks here and there that had him fisting at his hair in sheer frustration. You pitied him with a bold lick up the underside, but went right back to the teasing that had him close to tears. “___, fuck, I can’t take anymore of this. I thought you said you wanted to make me feel good.”

“I will, baby, you just have to be patient.”

He whined out, not sure how the rest of the afternoon was going to play out if you kept teasing him so mercilessly. He was just about to beg again for you to touch him when your lips wrapped around his tip, his back arching involuntarily and sending him further into your mouth. A guttural groan accompanied the pleasure pumping through his veins as you bobbed her head along his cock, swirling your tongue around him every so often. You had a primal need for more of him, more of the way he tasted and the precum that was oozing out of him. More of the way his groans switched to melodious moans as his climax neared him, more of the way his face was contorted in pleasure as your hands rubbed at his thighs. 

His orgasm was building up in the pit of his stomach, the twine of tension pulling further and further until he was sure it was going to snap. Your mouth abandoning his cock in favor of his balls almost did the trick, your hand wrapping around him to jerk as you sucked one at a time. He pulled you off of him reluctantly, wanting so desperately to cum in your mouth but knowing he’d regret passing up the opportunity to fuck you. “I have condoms in the drawer.” His breath was ragged as he pointed the drawer out to you, his hair sticking to his forehead as his body heat was skyrocketing. You handed one to him before shuffling back to the bed, letting him climb over you clumsily with his arms supporting his weight.

He tapped his tip against your clit, running it between your folds as you bucked your hips toward his. “That's not fair.”

He slipped inside of you, barely an inch before pulling back out. He repeated the movement over and over until you were gripping at his hips in an attempt to force more out of him. “Isn’t it, though? You had your fun…” You were so wet that it was making it hard for him to keep up, your soaked walls pulling him in with every shallow thrust. “Have you learned your lesson yet, baby?”

You nodded your head furiously, feeling almost embarrassed by how much you needed him. He refused to give up so easily, though, continuing his perfectly angled thrusts that grazed your g-spot just enough to make your hips buck. "Wonbin, please."

His first full thrust had you clenching around him so tightly that he almost came on the spot, the warmth of you wrapped around him so overwhelming that he had to screw his eyes shut. Your eyes fluttered in satisfaction as he filled you to the brim, the stretch burning deliciously. All you could think about was the next time, and the time after that, and how he could stretch you out whenever he wanted to now. He was yours now.

His lips wrapped around your nipple as he slowly dragged himself in and out of you, savoring how tightly you were squeezing him. It was all the anticipation finally materializing into something he couldn’t get enough of. Your moans, your faces of pleasure, your scent, your taste. He wanted as much of it as you’d let him have, for however long you’d let him have it. "Is this what you were thinking of while I was trying to teach you? Hm? Thought about me stuffing you full of my cock?"

The only noise you could manage was a raspy moan, mind completely numbed by the sensation of his skin pressed against yours. You could feel your lips move, saying something along the lines of wanteditsobadbinnie, but the feeling of his nose dragging up the side of your neck distracted you.

Your bodies seemed to mold together as he picked up speed, drilling into you relentlessly as your nails dug into his hips, asking for more. The slap of your skin against each other was his kryptonite as he wrapped your legs around his waist, wanting to hear it again and again until it played in his mind on a loop. He could feel the knot in his stomach warning him to slow down, to relish in the feeling a bit longer, but he didn’t care. Not when your lips were pressed right to his ear begging him not to stop. “Are you gonna cum for me?”

He tried to respond with a ‘yes’, but the absentminded clench of your walls sent him over the edge in a flash. He emptied himself into the condom, trying his hardest to focus all of his efforts on pushing you towards your own orgasm. His fingers found your clit between your sweaty bodies, the rough pad of his thumb orbiting your clit until you joined him in your own throes of euphoria. Your nails clawed down the expanse of his back as your vision blurred, ecstasy replacing every cell in your body as he kissed along your jaw.

The room smelled of sex and the remnants of his body wash, both of you fighting for air as you wrapped yourselves in his sheets. Your fingertips danced across his chest as he watched you wordlessly, face flushed with the evidence of your Sunday afternoon in. “What are you thinking about?” He caught your hand in his, eyes still trained on your face.

“Honestly? Trying to remember if there are any hidden corners in the Angelika where we can have sex.” You looked up at him as he laughed, a smile of your own creeping onto your lips. “What? Too honest?”

“You’re kinda perfect, you know that?”

His lips pressed chastely against your temple. “Yeah, actually, I do.”

[nenelonomh]

obsession in academia

!look a new nenelonomh academia post. oh, she's calling us out.

as the new year frivolity fizzles out, and we return to our routines, it is important to recognize and address obsession and "unhealthy consistency". many academics and type-a personalities struggle during the holiday season - viewing it as trivial or trying too hard to optimize their free time.

this mindset encourages burn out - before the academic year has even begun!

obsession in academia, often referred to as 'studyholism' or 'grade obsession,' is a common phenomenon experienced by students. over this holiday break, i definitely experienced some obsession over my studies - racking up a whopping 38 hours of study time over my december break - whilst i was waitressing full-time hours and trying to fit in holiday activities. luckily, i was able to recognize this - and spend less time on school.

i am defining this academic obsession as an excessive focus or preoccupation with academic achievement and performance. this obsession can manifest in various ways, such as relentless pursuit of high grades, constant studying at the expense of other aspects of life, and an overwhelming fear of failure. individuals who experience academic obsession may prioritize their academic pursuits above their physical health, mental well-being, social relationships, and personal interests.

type-a personalities : you have to be more careful

academic obsession is closely linked to type-a personalities, which are characterized by high levels of ambition, competitiveness, and a strong drive for success. type-a individuals often set extremely high standards for themselves and are highly goal-oriented. this intense focus on achievement can lead them to become obsessed with their academic performance, constantly striving for perfection and fearing failure. as a result, they may engage in excessive studying and neglect other important aspects of their lives, such as physical health, mental well-being, and social relationships.

this connects to the concept of "negative consistency," where individuals, particularly those with type-a personalities, may continue to push themselves relentlessly even during periods meant for rest and relaxation, such as the holiday season. instead of taking breaks to recharge, they maintain their intense work habits, leading to burnout. this negative consistency can result in chronic stress, exhaustion, and a diminished ability to enjoy leisure activities or spend quality time with loved ones.

recognizing this obsession

causes

❣ immense pressure to achieve high grades due to personal aspirations or fear of failure.

❣ parents, teachers, and society at large (community) may place high expectations on academic performance.

❣ the need for scholarships or financial aid can drive you to obsess over grades - financial anxiety.

❣ the competitive nature of academia can lead you to focus excessively on outperforming their peers.

❣ students often internalize the belief that their self-worth is tied to their academic performance. this can stem from a desire to meet personal goals or avoid feelings of inadequacy.

effects

❣ obsession can lead to anxiety, and depression. the constant pressure to perform can take a toll on your mental well-being.

❣ when you focus solely on grades, and prioritize memorization over understanding, you can hinder deep learning and critical thinking skills.

❣ excessive studying can lead to a lack of social interactions, affecting your relationships with your peers and family.

❣ stress and lack of sleep can result in various physical health issues, such as headaches, fatigue, and weakened immune systems.

prevention strategies

prevention strategies for academic obsession focus on promoting balance and well-being.

setting realistic and balanced goals - to help reduce the pressure to achieve perfection.

learning mindfulness techniques and stress management strategies - to provide tools to cope with academic pressures.

helping to create a supportive academic environment where all students feel valued for their efforts, not just their grades.

participating in extracurricular activities and hobbies - to develop a well-rounded identity and offer a healthy diversion from academic stress.

by implementing these strategies, we can help students (ourselves) develop a more balanced and sustainable relationship with academic endeavors.

i hope this was helpful! if you have any questions, send an ask to my inbox!

🫶nene

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[kazumist]

YOU + ME = LOVE .ᐟ ( a diluc x fem!reader smau )

synopsis: in dire need of a passing grade, the faculty had taken it upon themselves to get you a tutor asap. insert diluc, a grade 12 STEM student who was asked to stick with you, a raging grade 11 STEM student who's struggling in her academics.

started on: 1/10/24 | ended on: 3/10/24

genres: opposites attract trope (kinda), senior high school au, crack (one of my many attempts at comedy), fluff, angst of course, profanities + kys jokes, other ships are mostly implied, socmeds with narrations !!

note: will not dwelve too much into how shs works LOL but (🖋️) means the episode has narrations.

taglist: closed! thank you for being in every step this smau took :)

playlist: hehehe

PRESENTING: unit 143 / power rangers

✿ EPISODE 1: goodluck soldier

✿ EPISODE 2: more on my plate

✿ EPISODE 3: i think he hates me

✿ EPISODE 4: is it really hard?

✿ EPISODE 5: center of attention (🖋️)

✿ EPISODE 6: maybe she isn't so bad

✿ EPISODE 7: meet me at 5?

✿ EPISODE 8: a new side

✿ EPISODE 9: over the line

✿ EPISODE 10: logging off

✿ EPISODE 11: out of reach

✿ EPISODE 12: i got you (🖋️)

✿ EPISODE 13: little by little (🖋️)

✿ EPISODE 14: so what?

✿ EPISODE 15: revelations (🖋️)

✿ EPISODE 16: welcome to the club

✿ EPISODE 17: endearing (🖋️)

✿ EPISODE 18: proud of you

✿ EPISODE 19: block and ignore

✿ EPISODE 20: you didn't know?

✿ EPISODE 21: we need to talk (🖋️)

✿ EPISODE 22: it can't happen (🖋️)

✿ EPISODE 23: girls night!

✿ EPISODE 24: until then

✿ EPISODE 25: always adoring you

✿ EPISODE 26: i think deserved

✿ EPISODE 27: there's no way (🖋️)

✿ EPISODE 28: why wouldn't i miss you? (🖋️)

✿ EPISODE 29: about time

✿ EPISODE 30: feels real to me

[heliads]

angel boy charles leclerc with a workplace romance?? maybe r’s new on the ferrari pr team or an engineer who he keeps flirting with but she’s kinda shy so she doesn’t rly flirt back and doesn’t know why he’d want her over everyone, but then he defends her against some shitty reporters who keep making jokes abt her and she realizes oh he actually does like me and SHE asks HIM out?? obvs it’s cool if you don’t wanna write this but either way i think you’re really cool and i hope you’re day’s goin great!

'here's what i know' - charles leclerc

masterlist

It’s time for the one part of the week that Formula One teams across the grid detest most of all. No, it’s not qualifying, and not even the threat of a bad race day that can crush championship dreams for good. Today is Thursday, media day, which means that twenty drivers and many more members of staff are about to be hounded for hours until they break down and spill something they shouldn’t.

Since you’re not a driver, you had always hoped that you’d be able to get out of these sorts of things without too much difficulty. No one pays much attention to the engineers anyway– outside of Adrian Newey and the like, the guys behind the scenes tend to be ignored in favor of the ones in the cars, although you don’t know many engineers or strategists that have a problem with that.

No, the baying mass of reporters known affectionately to the paddock as Sky Sports and their affiliates are more of a difficulty than a blessing. Each and every race week, drivers and team principals alike are briefed by their PR officers on how to dodge bad questions and only stick to their strengths. For one of the first years in your career, though, you now have to deal with the same thing, and that is due to your recent promotion.

You’ve been a race engineer for a couple of years now, and you’ve loved every minute of it. Every STEM-inclined student with a hankering for racing dreams of working for Formula One, but you actually managed to turn those fantasies into a reality when you signed your first contract with the Scuderia Ferrari racing team. It wasn’t a showy job, of course, closer to tightening screws and redoing paint jobs than anything specific, but over time, you’ve managed to show your worth and quickly rise through the ranks.

As of this season, though, you’ll be out on the pitwall as Ferrari’s chief strategists instead of tucked away somewhere in the garage. It was a risky move when you decided to throw your hat into the strategy ring instead of sticking with the more technical aspects of race engineering, but you’ve had a knack for it ever since you first turned up in the paddock, and the higher-ups at Ferrari have noticed that. This promotion has been a long time coming, so they say.

Regardless, it’s still a bit stressful to be the face of Ferrari’s strategy decisions, especially given the fact that the Scuderia has struggled a bit in that department over the past few seasons. The Tifosi were definitely hesitant to show their support of the change in leadership, but after your critical advice led to some excellent showings in the first few rounds, you won them over in a landslide. No more terrible back-to-back stops, no more team orders mixups, you’ve proven your effectiveness in the strategy seat and everyone is glad to see it.

Well, almost everyone. The reporters are still as fixated as ever on getting a good story, and for some reason a couple have decided that the best headlines are centered around creating drama regarding your new job assignment. It feels like every week they’re running stories about how the Ferrari team principal wishes you weren’t there, or how Charles and Carlos are shaking their heads over each and every one of your bad calls.

This, of course, isn’t the case. Ferrari couldn’t be happier with your decisions since they’ve propelled the team up in the championship standings, and you get along quite well with the drivers. Charles especially has taken it upon himself to reassure you countless times that the rumors couldn’t be less true. Some of the reporters have a way of twisting their words from compliments into insults, but he wants to ensure that you never believe them.

Charles has been one of the greatest parts of your climb to head of strategy at Ferrari, actually. You met him when you were the lowliest of engineers, and for some reason, he’s stayed a friend of yours ever since that very first day. Truthfully, you hadn’t expected him to so much as remember your name– there are infinitely many engineers and strategists and PR workers at Ferrari, after all, and Charles is introduced to dozens of new celebrities at every race– but the very next time he saw you, he’d smiled and greeted you by name as if you were an old friend.

It had made your day. Same with the next time he’d done it. Although you may not entirely understand it, Charles Leclerc is committed to liking you, and he doesn’t seem inclined to stop any time soon. Nor are you inclined to stop him yourself– Charles is a fantastic person to be around. He’s never let his fame get to his head, and if you were to talk to him, you’d swear he was just a friend from uni or a next door neighbor or something, certainly not a world class driver. Charles doesn’t talk to you like he’s a Formula One driver and you’re a strategist. He speaks with you like he’s Charles and you’re Y/N and he couldn’t want anything more than to hear you laugh when he tells a joke.

Armed with this knowledge, you feel that you could take on any reporter, their tendency to warp simple statements into crazy arguments be damned. What’s more, you have an excellent friend in Hannah Schmitz, Principal Strategy Engineer over at Red Bull Racing. Although the two of you may technically be on rival teams, that hasn’t stopped you from becoming close friends. Hannah is one of the only people in the world capable of understanding exactly how you feel regarding work, as she’s in almost the same position as you, albeit on Red Bull instead of Ferrari. She’s older than you by a good couple of years, but that hasn’t stopped you two from quickly growing close.

For Thursday’s media frenzy, Hannah meets up with you close to the gate so you can walk in together. The Ferrari and Red Bull motorhomes are close by, and it’s nice to have a friend while you brave the storm of reporters waiting for you just inside the paddock.

The first round of them draws near. Hannah grins at your obviously forced smile. “Stay alert. They’re coming.”

“I’ll do my best,” you whisper back, and she hides a laugh.

You don’t have much time for inside jokes after that; a dozen phones and recording devices are flung in front of you, and you’re immediately greeted with several overlapping questions. You answer in quick syllables, all the while careful to keep your tone light so no one accuses you of being unnecessarily terse. You feel confident that you didn’t say anything to dull your team’s image, but you still can’t help a sigh of relief when you bid Hannah goodbye at the door of the Ferrari motorhome.

Upon entering the Ferrari center, you immediately spy Charles at one of the tables near the door. He glances up when he sees you enter, and flashes you a kind smile. “You look stressed. Don’t tell me Sky Sports has gotten to you already?”

You laugh. “They were waiting for me when I arrived. Man, I miss when they had no idea who I was.”

Charles chuckles. “I don’t. You’re more interesting to see on my screen than some of the other drivers.”

You scoff. “I don’t believe that for a second.”

Charles’ eyes widen meaningfully. “It’s true! You actually have things to say. The rest of us can only talk about how we plan on winning. Everyone says that.”

You walk over to his table, leaning your hands against the open chair. “If you paid attention during strategy meetings, you’d have something to say to them, too.”

Charles rolls his eyes, but grins sheepishly nonetheless. “How about you fill me in now, then? Come on, have a seat. I’m sure my PR officer would appreciate it if I didn’t go out there sounding like a total idiot.”

You shake your head on instinct. “You’re relaxing. I don’t want to take up your time.”

“I mean it,” Charles insists. “Sit down. I even have extra coffee.”

“That’s certainly a nice coincidence,” you say with a raised brow, but take the seat he offers you.

Charles smiles satisfiedly when you join him. “Yes,” he murmurs, “A coincidence.”

You end up passing more time than you expect at Charles’ table, just the two of you and the coffees cooling in your mugs. At first, you do talk about strategy, but over time Charles starts coaxing more details out of you, like what you’ve done since the past week and if you’ve got any plans for the upcoming weekend. He sounds genuinely interested in what you have to say, and it’s easy to forget that he isn’t just your coworker but a real, true friend.

You glance down at the table when the intensity of his earnest stare becomes a little too much for you. You know how the other strategists talk and tease you about your friendship with Charles, even if it is just that, a friendship. Yes, he may bring you coffee all the time, and eagerly stay back after strategy meetings so he can walk you out to your car, but he’s just doing that to be nice. It doesn’t mean anything. You cannot allow yourself the hope of thinking that it might mean anything.

After all, despite the denials you’ll give the other strategists and even Hannah when she has the occasion to join in the teasing, you wouldn’t mind it if Charles ever acted on his flirtations. The only problem is that you have made a career out of being realistic and reasonable, and you know that this is one perfect victory that just won’t be yours. Charles is gorgeous. He goes after gorgeous girls, stunning supermodels, and amazing actresses. You are lovely in your own right, but you aren’t the kind of person that a Formula One driver would ever date. It is important to keep your heart from being crushed, even if denying this hurts you more than Charles’ rejection ever could.

That little coffee chat ends soon enough, much like every other quick lunch and early morning talk you’ve shared with him. Charles goes off to his garage, and you head out to your office to prepare some talking points for meetings later that day. The drivers will be escorted to media day press conferences, and you probably won’t run into Charles again until later into the afternoon.

You realize about halfway through the day’s work that you haven’t gotten up once since you arrived. In need of a brain break and a chance to stretch your legs, you decide to go for a quick circuit around the paddock before coming back inside again to carry on. The sun is warm on your face when you dare to duck outside, and it feels good to walk around for a little while.

Unconsciously, your legs carry you towards the building where the press conferences are being held. Not wanting to intrude, you decide to head back towards the center of the paddock. While you’re in the middle of making this decision, though, you notice Charles emerging from the building. You switch directions to aim towards him instead; you can joke about the nightmare that is a Formula One press conference, and you know Charles will be glad to let off some steam by complaining.

As you’re walking over, you notice a few reporters coming out of the building as well and groan internally. These couple of men in particular have been nothing but thorns in your side since you accepted your promotion. When the news first broke, they wrote a couple of articles apiece about how you were going to run Ferrari into the ground. When that proved false, they switched tactics and decided to use their journalism skills to disparage you whenever they got the chance. Numerous drivers and reporters alike have called them out for targeting you, but they haven’t stopped yet, which is frustrating.

Charles notices the reporters at the same time as you, you can see his head turn as he tracks their progress. You’re close enough now that you can hear what they’re saying, but it isn’t good. They never get tired of repeating the same bullshit about how you can’t make a smart call to save your life. One of them laughs, shaking his head in disbelief. That’s what you get for putting a girl in charge.

Hot anger boils through your stomach, but you force it down. They haven’t seen you yet, and you’d like to keep it that way. Challenging them on this will only provide them with more ammunition.

Charles, however, doesn’t seem to see it that way. He stops directly in front of the two reporters, arms folded coldly across his chest. “What did you say about Y/N?”

The reporter who’d just spoken eyes him confusedly. “Nothing, man. Don’t worry about it.”

“I will if you’re insulting her,” Charles fires back. “Don’t talk about her like that. Y/N is a welcome part of Ferrari and her strategy decisions have won us races, as you well know. I don’t know what you get out of taking her down but it’s stupid of you to carry on like that.”

The reporter blanches, leaning back as if Charles has struck him. “Calm down, man. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

Charles’ glare doesn’t lighten for a second. “Then stop talking badly about her. It just makes you look like an asshole who doesn’t know what he’s talking about. That’s what you are, of course, but maybe you want your reputation to be better.”

You clap a hand to your mouth to stop from letting out a surprised laugh. He’s totally caught them off guard, and it’s fantastic to see. More fantastic than that, you realize slowly, is that Charles is doing this purely to defend your honor. There are no cameras around. No one is recording him. Charles could have just ignored it, but he chose to go out of his way to defend you because that matters the most to him. Because he would never be able to live with himself if he didn’t spend his every waking hour making sure you got the respect you were owed.

Charles doesn’t have to do this, but he wants to. There is a reason for this, a reason that, at last, you know. You’ve been denying it to yourself for the longest time, but the proof of his affections is right before your eyes.

You spin away before he can notice your presence, giddy with the knowledge that, of all the people in the world, Charles Leclerc wants you. You. Y/N L/N. His chief strategist.

You nearly run into Hannah when you pass by the Red Bull motorhome. She’s just emerging, and looks at you confusedly. “Is everything alright?”

“Hannah,” you say, grasping vaguely at your friend’s arm to steady yourself. “Hannah, I’m having an epiphany.”

She eyes you dubiously. “What now? You want to change your tire strategy for Sunday?”

“No,” you say, voice weak, “I realized– I think Charles likes me, Hannah. I think he likes me a lot.”

She stares at you. “Are you just now coming to this conclusion?”

You turn to her in surprise. “You knew?”

Hannah throws her hands in the air. “Y/N, we all knew. It was extremely obvious.”

You feel heat rise to your cheeks. “Oh. I didn’t know.”

“That was also obvious,” Hannah comments. “Now, come on. You’re one of the most action-oriented people I know. What are you going to do about this?”

You turn towards the Ferrari motorhome. “I’m going to talk to him.”

“Great start,” Hannah says, clapping you on the shoulder. “Tell me how it goes. Tell me everything.”

You grin at her before you leave. “I won’t leave out a single moment.”

Charles has just made it back to the Ferrari center when you arrive. He beams up at you when you walk through the door, as if he hasn’t just heard some assholes insulting you and decided that every moment not spent defending you is a moment wasted.

“Charles,” you breathe. “Can I talk to you?”

He arches a brow, still wearing that same lopsided smile. “We’re talking now, aren’t we?”

“Yeah,” you laugh him off. “What if we talked later, too? Like, over dinner or something?”

His eyes go wide. “What? Do you– what do you mean?”

“Charles,” you repeat. He goes silent, like just the sound of his name from your lips is enough to compel him to you forever. “I’m asking you on a date. Will you say yes?”

“Yes,” he tells you. “Yes. What– I didn’t know you felt like that– do you really? This isn’t a joke, is it? We’re not going just as friends?”

“I think I should be asking you that,” you laugh. “No, Charles. I want to go on a date with you.”

“Well,” he says, smiling, “I think I can arrange that. Only if you promise there will be more than just one.”

“I promise,” you tell him.

How could you not? Charles is the one you want, the one you have been wanting since you first fell for the spark in his dark eyes and the light of his laughter. He is the one you will continue to want months and years from now, after countless dates and many gifted flowers and a lot of moments spent together, always together. It starts now.

f1 tag list: @j-brielmalfoy, @juphey

all tags list: @wordsarelife

[destiny-smasher]

What do you like about Nemona

Gahhh, fuck me, that's a bit hard to summarize.

But I have been meaning to do a write up to explain it to people in my personal life. Maybe this is a good excuse to get around to doing so. I'll try to cover the important stuff while not getting as deep into specifics as I honestly could. It'll still be an informal short essay, though, lol

In Pokemon SV, the player enrolls in a fancy Academy on a remote island nation of sorts (inspired by Spain). They meet Nemona after choosing their starter Pokemon, and Nemona offers to the school's director to adopt a starter herself to 'coach/mentor' the player character. You see, unlike any other 'rival trainer' before her, Nemona is already a Champion. Before your character sets foot in the Paldea region, Nemona has already gone through the entire song and dance of Gym Battles and all that, and attained the highest rank a trainer can in the region. She's completely obsessed with Pokemon battling and has become bored of being 'the best' because no one wants to battle her, for various reasons. So she views you, a newcomer, as an opportunity to test herself as a 'mentor/senpai/big sis' figure as well as essentially 'New Game+-ing' herself for sheer love of the game that is Pokemon battling.

People consistently call her 'the girl Goku', but I ain't seen Dragonball Z, so I can't comment on that much. But she is a very enthusiastic, cheerful, determined, battle hungry person who is very into self-growth and self-improvement. At the end of the day, she wants a true rival, someone she doesn't need to hold back with, and who she can look to as a consistent figure in her life. She is very eager and hyperactive about connecting with people through battling.

A lot of people who play the game get offput by her, and she gets branded as a 'yandere' archetype (ie obsessed with the player character to a horror-inducing degree). She gets meme'd as being 'creepy' and 'obsessed' and all that, depicting her eagerness as mental illness and a bad thing.

(gif from a fan animation)

When her behavior stems from positive emotions and a desire for mutual growth and connection, not specifically ownership or possession -- to Nemona, a person who just obeyed whatever she would want of them would defeat the point. That's not what a rival does -- they push back, after all. Within the context of the SV plotline, she is bored of being Champion all by herself, and wants to train someone else to reach her same level, which is why she is so invested in you, the player character, following you around everywhere and being that 'big sis' archetype. There's some selfishness in there, for sure -- she wants a proper rival for herself, someone she never has to hold back with -- but given her social obligations and reputation within the Academy/region, she also I think wants to prove she is capable of handling herself as a mentor figure, prove to herself that she didn't become a Champion by luck or accident (if she can help someone else do what she did, then it wasn't just a fluke, she really does know what she's doing, etc.), and also help prove to her fellow students that she's really not as intimidating as they think she is.

And yet, people both in AND out of the game are quick to write this intense, protective behavior off as 'insane' and 'creepy' -- and as someone who very regularly got called a 'creep' through to the end of college for literally just trying to make friends,' I almost take it personally when I see people label Nemona as a 'yandere' type. It has its comical use and all but I still find it kind of hurtful in a way.

(Art by MagDraws)

Because that's the thing -- if you pay attention to what little story there is in SV (it's not exactly a complex narrative), Nemona's character is essentially a metaphor for neurodivergent/queer people who have hearts bursting with affection and passion for their hobbies yet who struggle with loneliness and isolation as they put off most people from keeping them around.

But at the end of the day, Nemona is just neurodivergent, her special interest is Pokemon battling, and she is simply desperate for human connection -- and battles are just the way she feels most comfortable doing that.

And the world would be a better place if people like me or Nemona were able to become self aware at a young enough age to start managing our behavior, (which she is shown to be learning to do!) while ALSO having a general population that is more open-minded and understanding to the idea that 'oh huh that person's brain is electrically overcharged and they love people and hobbies maybe way way more than I do but that's FINE as long as they're not hurting anyone'

As a youth, I just... kinda got great grades, made honor roll, etc. And it felt like I wasn't really trying? So adults around me thought I was 'gifted', or 'naturally talented'. But in reality, I think I was just neurodivergent, and since I struggled to make friends, and physically wasn't able to see them outside of school due to various factors, I just... ended up focusing on my schoolwork instead. So that's one way I relate with her retroactively -- she is a model student, yet ironically has a bad reputation amongst many.

(HOWEVER, Nemona comes from a RICH family and I came from a poor one, there was some big racial tension dynamics at play in my early gradeschool years, familial breakup shit, soooo there's some very different dynamics at play there)

Another thing I adore about her and connect with in a way no one else in my life does -- she loves one-on-one competitions with others through battles. I don't love physically fighting people, I'm a super non-violent person in reality. But I love fighting games, it's my favorite genre. And there's specific philosophical elements to enjoying fighting games that I think most people don't click with that she and I do.

She is here to GROW, to learn, to improve, to have fun regardless of winning or losing, because the act of spending time engaged with another person, figuring each other out, testing yourselves mutually, is enjoyable and edifying regardless.

That 'warrior's path' of self improvement and enjoyment and growth regardless of the outcome of battle is something I very much connect with and it's great to see a character who feels likewise while also having elements of interpersonal struggles in spite of or even because of the way she functions differently than other people. Again, I don't know much about Goku, but I get the impression he is good at making and keeping friends, while Nemona is bad at it.

On top of this, Nemona has extra wrinkles to her character -- she's physically disabled. The game is vague about it, as Pokemon always is. But she wears an arm brace because she throws a LOT of pokeballs with all the battling she does, and she seems to have some kind of issue there, physically. Also, despite how GOOD she is at battling, she is terrible at catching Pokemon, and seemingly at doing the exploration aspects of being a trainer. She canonically has poor stamina and wears herself out easily -- which, given how high-energy she is as a person, probably happens constantly. So it's also strongly suggested that she spends time not just training all of her Pokemon (she juggles multiple teams, yet another fighting-game esque thing I relate with, as I tend to juggle many characters and not stick to a single main or team), but she also trains herself, physically, to try and keep up with her 'mons, but also as a means of self-growth/improvement in general.

I won't post the examples but trust me, there are many subtle but intentional nods alluding to her being physically disabled, and being BAD at core elements of what we expect a Pokemon trainer to be -- exploring the wilderness, catching Pokemon, etc. But she's so passionate about it, she doesn't let her limitations stop her,

So it creates an interesting internal tension imo because she is not only very queer coded, very neurodiverse coded, but ALSO disabled coded. But she hides her internal struggles by essentially avoiding having to confront them, generally speaking (which itself is ripe for narrative development). Sadly, the game never brings this to a head in way (it's Pokemon, so of course it doesn't). But the ingredients are all there, especially when you add characters like Penny, Arven, and Scarlet into account -- as well as implied expectations from her rich family, or from the leader of Paldea, Geeta, who implies she wants Nemona to be her protege. And I haven't even mentioned that Nemona is Class President, meaning she's actively taking on social responsibility for her peers even though she gets shit talked behind her back for being so obsessed with battling and getting in people's faces with her over-eager desire to bond with/battle them.

This right here -- this is the specific core element of her character I personally connect with that, somehow, no fictional character I've met so far has put into the exact right words with enough context for me to believe them.

From my youth to even now as a full grown adult, I have experienced this feeling my entire life, whether with family, at school, at the workplace, even in most online spaces -- an 'invisible wall' between me and everyone else, and for a VERY LONG TIME I had convinced myself it was because something about me was 'broken' and 'not right'. But now, in part thanks to characters like Nemona, and the discussions around/about said characters, I can see that my brain just functions differently from other people, and a I grow and self-teach myself how to manage my own behaviors/expectations, I can better appreciate all kinds of relationships in life without needing to let go of or sacrifice that internal flame that used to threaten to consume most people I cared about -- that fear of being 'too much' or 'too intense' in my own ways (ways better expressed through text interaction than in person, to be fair, but again, MOST of my social life has been online my entire life, so yeah).

Like Nemona, I found people in my life who accept me for who I am, and blablabla all that cliche shit. But in Nemona, as I do with a rare few other characters in media (Vi from Arcane, Luz from The Owl House), I see a specific element of myself I don't elsewhere, and sadly did not see often growing up. A balance between ferocity and determination paired with unending affection and love. A desire to never give up on people, no matter what, and to be open to change both internal and in others. In Nemona's case, specifically, that element of neurodiverse passion matched with sheer loneliness -- that 'invisible wall'.

No matter what, she never gives up, in battles or socially.

I could go on into specific examples but I've said enough here to get the ideas across, I'm sure.

Oh, and as a sidenote, I think she has a great character design -- it's SIMPLE but recognizeable. The combo of color-coded gear (red/white/black, my favorite outfit color scheme), a arm brace, and accented hair. Her design feels like a plausible human being, but with a bit of 'anime bangs' syndrome.

I should probably mention -- I don't like Pokemon SV as a video game! I am like 160k words of fanfiction into telling a Pokemon story and I think the game itself is stinky garbage barely holding itself together with duct tape and a corporate prayer.

But unlike any other generation of the franchise, Pokemon SV presents a cast of characters with defined personality strengths, weaknesses, and varied backstories, who start the game as strangers, and by the end begin to dip their toes into 'found family' territory. For the first time in the entire franchise, I actually give a shit about the characters, about seeing them grow and connect with each other, because the overarching theme of SV's story, what little it has, is about isolation, outcasts, loneliness, and how found families form.

And Nemona's kind of the heart of all of that, the endlessly hopeful, energetic, eager one that will never give up on you, that irrationally throws affection at you, seemingly for no 'good reason' -- because just being a person who tolerates her and her 'too much'-ness is itself reason to be grateful for your presence in a world where she feels isolated from most everyone else simply by being herself.

Maybe this answers your question!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hi!! I sorta get the vibe that maybe Rook has some deep rooted trauma from his childhood?? Just because of how secretive he is; i know hes eccentric but i feel like it’s more than that. A lot of ppl are upset at Vil for “changing” Rook somehow but i feel like rook changed his appearance to match with Vil, moved to pomefiore, etc. because HE wanted to be more like Vil, i feel like him meeting Vil was a rly big turning point for him. And with how upset he was at having to hurt dream Vil and Neige (and his fanboy bedroom😭😭) i feel like he’s really dependent on both of them for his happiness and he’s avoiding dealing with some traumatic experience, but this could be a stretch. I was wondering what your thoughts were. Sorry this was so long, have a nice night!!🫶

Mmm, maybe? There's certainly nothing to disprove the idea, although there also isn't much to support it. Rook doesn't strike me as someone who is scared or put off by most things. He was very much able to keep his calm and composure even in demanding, high-stress situations like the STYX base raid in book 6 and the rescue operation in Endless Halloween Night. If he has experienced something dangerous and/or dark, he gives me the impression that he could handle himself just fine. (This isn't to downplay trauma; I'm just saying that Rook could very well be the type of person that reacts and copes well with it.) As for him being secretive, it could be for other reasons such as his family's line of work (which is implied to be pretty important, since they have warp pads and villas all over Twisted Wonderland). This would be reasoning similar to why Jade and Floyd's father's occupation is kept dubious. Rook's secretive nature could also be an intentional diversion (ie purposefully playing "the fool") so it's easier for his targets to lower their guards around him or not take him seriously. Really, there's many reasons for his enigmatic and eccentric attitude. I'm also of the opinion that you don't necessarily need to have a deep-rooted trauma to get deep into fandom or stan culture. Sometimes you just get really into something and want to dedicate your entire being to that which holds your attention! For Rook, that's Neige and Vil--and it hurts him on a deep level to have to harm those who have brought him so much joy. I liken it to like... how TWST fans have merch shrines dedicated to their favorite boys. Non-Twsties may not understand our love and dedication to these characters, nor why we may get upset if those merch shrines are destroyed or damaged.

I think a lot of Rook's emotional attachment to Neige and Vil doesn't come from "relying" on them to fill in some void within himself. Rather, the behavior stems from him literally viewing them as pinnacles of beauty, combined with his own reverence for beauty itself and how they've helped his own character development. We know that, as a child, Rook struggled to express himself and was first introduced to the magic of the arts when he watched a play that starred Neige. The performance and show must have deeply resonated with Rook. Later on, we see that he, as a first year Savanaclaw student, acts much closer to the Rook we know of today. Invasive, bright, speaking his mind in a verbose way, etc. This makes me think that it was through stanning Neige that Rook was motivated to express himself in a more open manner. Then, when Rook meets Vil, he's inspired and encouraged to beautify himself so as to be like the works of art he already admires. As you've said, Vil isn't the one forcing change on Rook; instead, Vil gives the suggestion and Rook becomes enraptured with the idea--to the point where he changes dorms against Vil's advice. This is another huge turning point in Rook's life. He changes dorms, becomes Vil's right-hand man, and drastically changes his appearance too. This is all so he can be closer to the "beauty" he wishes to see, so he can fully dedicate himself to that chase. Neige was the impetus that started it all, and Vil is the one who motivated Rook to go "above and beyond" in his pursuit of beauty. So thinking about it, Rook has gone on his own journey of personal growth, and Neige and Vil are both closely tied to that. It's like how some of us TWST fans have been with the game for a few years now. We've grown and changed, and TWST has been with us every step of the way. I bet you're a totally different person today than you were when you first came across your current hyperfixations. That's bound to deepen the emotional connection we already have with the object of our affections--be it TWST for us, or Neige and Vil for Rook, no trauma necessary. From all of that, I get the impression that Rook cherishes Neige and Vil because he has "grown up" with them and they're so pivotal to who he is and has become as a person. When he has to turn his arrow on them, it may hurt him in the sense that he's destroying his passions or the very figures who have inspired him to come as far as he has. That's how I interpret it!

I still think it's fine to headcanon whatever you want for Rook's past though! There's no harm in filling in the gaps with whatever you think suits the character or the story.

[beddybites]

Chop chop Hashira girl, i want the backstories of the 3, 30 episodes and 15 seasons for tomorrow (i love them so much sobs)

first of all , honored u see me as the hashira girl

the story is still very much in development but since ur interested ill at least tell u a bit about them!

im so sorry this took so long :,D none of my drafts about this post ever saved so i lost the strength

Huntwoe Hill is a dark fantasy story with central themes on family and relationships and the dark forces that can harm them— whether it be from outside the family, or inside

i recently had to make a comic page about them, so i’ll share that here!

the first novel focuses on Wren Bishop, a sensitive and witty 18 year old girl who struggles with depression and left home as a result of her family’s treatment of her. as the “black sheep” of the Belladonna family, she has a habit of being really hard on herself. she specializes in photography and poetry, and loves birds

her closest friend is her older cousin Russel Rook (23), an elementary school music teacher and the golden boy of the Belladonna family. he’s a very kind hearted man who has been by Wren’s side since she was born. he’s dating a woman named Daisy, and volunteered to help chaperone her students on a field trip

Russel, Daisy, and 28 children go missing during their stay on Huntwoe Hill, a giant mountain that hundreds and thousands of people have died or gone missing in. because of this, the teachers and their students are almost immediately deemed to have not survived the harsh conditions of the mountain. Wren senses something is wrong, and goes on a one-man search for them

along the way she encounters their Uncle Foggy, who she had not seen in over eight years, as he was kicked out of the Belladonna family for reasons she was never told about. he’s a jaded and silly thirty year old man who used to tell his nieces and nephews all sorts of stories about the mountain. estranged and distancing himself, he sought to protect his family and uncover a curse inflicted upon them

Uncle Foggy reveals to Wren that the mountain serves as a doorway for all kinds of creatures and ghouls, and he works for an organization that hunts them

Wren, of course, doesn’t believe him until she encounters these creatures first hand

i can go into more depth about them in the future! this story has been years in the making and it’s still heavy in development, and i dont typically talk about my own oc’s, so we’ll see …

there is a much much larger cast, i’ve only designed three of them though haha

main sources of inspiration for this story stem from Demon Slayer, Haunting of Hill House, Midnight Mass, Soul Eater and the Doctor Strange comics/movies from MARVEL

thank you for being interested in them ahhhh! apologies again for how long this took :,0

[maxdibert]

What are your headcanons on Severus and the Malfoys? Do you think he genuinely considered them friends, or was it part of his cover? Or were they ever really friends at some point?

I have so much to say about this! I actually have two different versions of the story, and I think both of them could be canon. I can never decide between them because both seem plausible, so I’ll share my opinion on each and let everyone decide which one fits best.

Despite being a poor, scruffy, half-blood kid from a working-class background, I think Lucius took Severus under his wing because, after all, Lucius was already a 15-year-old teenager who was likely quite involved in pure-blood extremist circles and had probably heard of Voldemort by then. He was probably trying to make a good impression by recruiting as many people as possible. And despite Severus’ background, treating him with respect was a pretty shrewd move to maintain unity within Slytherin and promote that “us against the world” mentality. This would ultimately foster the cult-like environment that developed during that era. I also think that, after seeing that Severus, beyond his background, had a strong interest and talent for the Dark Arts and was a good student, Lucius probably saw that Severus’ skills could be useful, which is why he kept him under his wing. Lucius Malfoy is often portrayed as a snobbish buffoon, but besides being a shrewd man, he’s part of high society, old money. And even the classist aristocrats know how to make use of the working class and recognize talent because, historically, they’ve maintained their position by exploiting such talent.

I think Lucius and Severus maintained that mentor-pupil relationship for many years, and once Lucius graduated, he intervened to help Severus be accepted and valued within his House while also using him as a sort of personal charity project. Like Cher in Clueless (who’s based on Emma Woodhouse from Jane Austen) taking on an awkward kid from the North without wealth or pedigree and turning him into someone fit for high magical society—a kind of social experiment, if you will. I think this made Severus feel indebted to him, at least before Voldemort killed Lily. I also believe that, during Severus’ school years, his gratitude stemmed not only from this “mentorship” but also from the fact that, for the first time, someone believed in him and motivated him to pursue his ambitions. Lucius was like a father/older brother figure whom he respected and appreciated for seeing him as more than just a poor kid with nothing.

That said, my interpretation of their relationship splits into two possibilities once Severus becomes a double agent.

On one hand, there’s the idea that, after Lily’s death, feeling guilty and determined to actively work for Voldemort’s downfall, Severus emotionally distanced himself from the Malfoys as much as possible. The relationship they developed over the next 18 years would then be solely a means to an end—to gain favor with someone influential within the Ministry and among the most important dark wizards. Deep down, it was all a façade because the Malfoys also represented everything he despised and regretted being a part of, so he decided to cut off any emotional attachment to them. Basically: it was all fake.

The other version, and the one I prefer because it feels more realistic, is that Severus, as the abused and abandoned child he was, would always experience cognitive dissonance toward people who treated him well during his most vulnerable years. It’s something evident in his view of Lily, even though he was joining a group that literally wanted to kill people like her, and I can see it applying to his view of the Malfoys as well. Though they were a family actively working to end people like Lily, and Severus would ultimately have to confront them if it came to it, he’d still struggle to sever his emotional ties with the Malfoys. Just as he couldn’t understand why his friendship with Lily was ending because of his choices, I don’t think he’d be able to emotionally cut off the Malfoys, even if he knew they were terrible or knew he might eventually have to face them in battle. Much like how Lily being the first person to treat him with kindness was enough to make him risk everything to atone for his indirect role in her death and his support of Voldemort, I think Lucius “taking him in” also carved out a streak of loyalty in Severus toward his family. Severus strikes me as someone fiercely loyal to anyone who’s shown him kindness or understanding, even if that loyalty is against his own interests. And despite everything, I think he genuinely cared about the Malfoys. While he no longer admired Lucius, I think he still respected him in a certain way, like a younger brother who knows his older brother is a jerk but still sees him as his older brother.

I also think Narcissa had a kind of “older sister” vibe for him—that when she and Lucius were dating and Severus was still a kid, she saw him as this scruffy little guy, like a cute but poor puppy. And that impression probably stuck with him too. I think he always felt more comfortable with her than with Lucius, since she was associated more with the maternal than with authority. While his favoritism toward Slytherins was partly to maintain appearances and partly due to resentment toward Gryffindors, I believe he genuinely liked Draco. This affection, though, was likely another form of cognitive dissonance because Draco was far more similar to James than Harry ever was (in terms of character, classism, and using his status, family name, and influence to torment others). But just as his hatred of Harry was a reflection of his resentment toward James, his affection for Draco was probably a reflection of his relationship with Lucius and Narcissa.

[flashbangstars]

Searching for Sun, water, and attention

Pairing: Jeno x Female reader wc: 2k +

Summary: You honestly thought you were coping with being a stem major in finals week pretty well... up until you weren't

Genre: low key hurt comfort, idk man rough week, fluff, i call mc a plant

Warnings?: none really, I say sex like once

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

Your leaves were wilting, and you were in dire need of water. You weren’t placed in a spot where you get enough sun, and they didn’t tend to your leaves, You felt as if you hadn’t had a proper day of self-care in weeks. Which was true. 

But you were also not a plant, you were an engineering major in your second semester of senior year struggling to make it through. You hadn’t eaten since the couple slices of apple you snuck this morning from your roommate’s breakfast plate (dire need of water), you hadn’t changed out of the pajamas you had been wearing for two days not (leaves were wilting), and you had been sitting in the dark of your room with only your computer screen illuminating the space (you weren’t getting enough sun) 

You had taken on a giant project and had yet to see the end of it. You had been dealing with group members who had checked out and didn’t care anymore, and professors who were doing the same thing. Hence this little room has become your evil lair for the past couple of weeks, Everything was online so you did not need to leave, and why would you leave if you could get things delivered? 

It was about 1 in the afternoon and thanks to your blackout curtains your room was pitch black. Hearing the door open you knew it meant Jeno was home. Jeno was your roommate, you two had met online on the student group chat and the rest is history. 

He did think you were a dude at first, but hey it’s 2024 who cares? 

You hear a soft knock on the door and a pause after two knocks. 

“Hi,” You hear Jeno say from the other side of the door.

“Come in” 

The door opened and Jeno walked into your room and beelined to the windows, quickly opening the blinds and letting in the afternoon sun. 

Hissssss

“Did you just fucking hiss at me?” His head swiveled and his eyes were big. 

“Gut reaction, my bad” You raised your hand in surrender. 

Jeno was no stranger to this, with your major this was the territory every finals season. You would become a recluse and lock yourself in your room to work on things. He felt bad because he knew it took a toll on you, but you never said anything when things got hard.  One afternoon a year ago your friends on their way out had thanked him for “taking care of you” He hadn’t done much but he was glad to know he was of some help in your life. 

“OK get up, you’ve been in here since I left. You need fresh air” He knew you probably hadn’t gotten up in his absence to even move around the apartment either”

“You were gone for like an hour, that’s nothing!!!” You said laughing at your roommate’s accusation.

Jeno paused and turned around with an unamused face to stare at you 

“Y/n I was gone for 4 hours” the monotone voice matching the vibe his face was giving.

Pause

“You were gone four hours? When did you leave?” You questioned.

“I left at 7:45 this morning, and it is currently noon” He deadpanned.

“Oh,” you remarked.

“Yeah OH, now get up we are going for a walk” He grabbed your hands and began to pull you out of the chair. Blankets falling to the ground and exposing the pajamas you hadn’t taken off since you woke up.

“Put on different clothes” he muttered as he walked out of your room.

Glancing down at the Hello Kitty pajamas pants you were a little offended as to why he thought you couldn’t wear these out in public, but you still fulfilled his wishes and changed into leggings and a clean sweatshirt. Probably looking the most put-together you have in a couple of months. 

You both walked down the street your apartment was on in a comfortable silence, watching your reflection in the windows of the stores you passed. Jeno was always someone people looked at, he had all these pretty angles and pretty features. It was hard not to like him,  you two in comparison were very different and It was hard to not crave the structure Jeno had created for himself. He was smart, he didn’t have to struggle to get ahead, he just was a good student. He also was very attractive which helped. 

You knew a lot about him from living together for as long as you did and you still didn’t know whether you wanted to be with him or be him. 

“Wkgrbnorgnognwg?” A voice broke you from your thoughts.

“Huh?” You asked turning your head to face Jeno, his brows up showing he had just asked you a question. 

“I said do you want to sit down? The park is across the street” he repeated pointing to the benches lining the walking path across the street. 

“Oh yeah! Do you want to grab coffee first?” You suggested. 

“I’m not sure you need more caffeine in your system actually, it really can’t be healthy how much you consume” Jeno warned, his eyebrows drawing together in concern. He was also incredibly easy to read.

“It’s fine, I think I go through withdrawals now if I don’t consume a dangerous amount” you joked, Jeno not finding it amusing though. 

“I’m seriously ok I promise, the caffeine is just a necessary evil in college,” you said again trying to reassure him you weren’t macro-dosing caffeine every day and ruining your health, and probably stomach lining. 

“Coffee is fine, but you are getting decaf” Jeno laid down the law and then pulled you by the wrist into the coffee shop.

Jeno ordered for the both of you and got you a decaf vanilla latte and himself an iced americano, and he PAID! The sugar baby era commenced. 

Getting your drinks and then walking to the park bench you both sat down and stared out into the park. It was the same old comfortable silence you were familiar with Jeno, you two were the type of people who could sit with each other in silence and be content.

“Not to be a dick, but why do you do that to yourself,” Jeno asked breaking the silence. From your peripheral, you could tell he was still looking forward. Confusion partially took over at the turn in conversation and you didn’t respond, unsure of what he wanted you to say

“You don’t take care of yourself I understand school is important believe me, but watching you push yourself to the extent you do it sucks to see” 

Your confusion only got worse as Jeno began to voice his concerns about you, you didn’t even know he noticed things like that.

“And I wish you would let me help you, I live with you for fucks sake. Ask me for help” He finished by turning to face you, your face still staring straight ahead, afraid to turn to meet his gaze. 

Part of you thought you had been handling things alright, and part of you knew he was right. You kept to yourself when you were struggling because putting in on others felt selfish. You barely left your room at this point, and you hadn’t done anything other than school for the past two weeks. 

“It’s just something I need to deal with, I’m almost done with this project and I will get a break. I’m. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you worry.” You said not sure how to make things better.

Jeno sighed and rubbed his face turning his body so now he was facing you. “God I’m not asking for an apology, I’m saying this because I care about you. I care about you a concerning amount and I hate watching you go through this and I can’t help”  He admitted 

“Why do you care a ‘concerning amount’? I promise you I will be fine I don’t know what else I can tell you” your tone coming off defensive, now turning to face him. Your confusion now mixed in a twinge of frustration as to why Jeno was being so cryptic in his concerns. 

“Y/n I care because I like you. It is hard not to worry about the person you like, especially when you live with them. I get this urge to fucking tell you to go to bed on time, take you into my room away from your screens tuck you in with me, and make sure you sleep” Jeno had now begun rambling, his voice laced with the tiniest hint of anxiety 

“I want to bring you out of the apartment with me and go on walks and run errands where we hold hands and talk about life and I know I don’t have to worry about you not moving from the same spot for more than 4 hours, I want to start and end the day with you” He kept going. 

With every confession he was making you felt the confusion melt into a weird guilt, guilty you had made him feel like he couldn’t do anything, guilty you had made him feel helpless. You also felt this blur of emotions you couldn’t decipher with the sudden burst of someone pouring out how they liked you. 

You reached your hand out and wrapped it around his wrist effectively stopping his diatribe. His eyes immediately caught yours searching for some sort of answer, a reaction to what he had said. Fear, anticipation, and a secret third emotion swirl around in his irises. 

“Then do that” your voice came out stronger than you had planned. 

“Take care of me,” you asked 

Jeno’s eyes widened and his features began to soften. 

“I want to be that person for you too ” you finally admitted, your eyes breaking the staring contest you had been holding for the past couple of minutes. 

A couple of moments passed and neither of you moved. Hearing movement across from you, and then feeling arms grabbing you, Jeno pulled you into his chest and hugged you, his cheek pressing against your forehead and arms fully wrapped around you.

“Ok” you heard from above you, and then a soft kiss was placed on your forehead.

“Let’s go home” 

~

Waking up you blinked away the sleep and felt the sun coming into the room from the windows. Sitting up and pushing aside the blankets, you grabbed a sweatshirt from the dresser as you got up and pulled it on leaving the room. 

Jeno’s shirtless back faced you in the kitchen as he stood in front of the stove cooking something. 

Coming up beside him and rubbing your hand up his back feeling the notches in his spine. 

“Good morning,” you said resting your head against his shoulder.

“Good morning sweetheart” Jeno turned grasped your check and pulled you into a soft kiss his thumb caressing the top of your cheek. He tasted like toothpaste and his lips were covered in a thin layer of chapstick. You knew you probably tasted like morning breath and had dry lips but Jeno didn’t mind. 

Pulling away he stared at your face with a smile. And patted your butt covered with his sweatshirt. 

“I made you coffee” Jeno Pointed to the pink mug sitting on the counter with a banana sitting next to it. “Decaf because I know you don’t have any classes today,” he said turning the burner off. 

“Thank you,” you said kissing his shoulder blade with the warm coffee cup now in your hands. 

You both sat in a comfortable silence as you ate breakfast beside each other at the counter, Jeno’s hand periodically finding itself resting atop your thigh. You valued the moments of comfortable silence especially when they were spent with him.

You were now a healthy plant, your leaves were strong and you were regularly taken care of, you knew what you needed to grow, and you had the help of a very cute gardener (boyfriend)  who made sure you got enough sun (literal sun), water (literal water), and care (love and good sex). 

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

i actually struggled to write this one because of how bootycheek this last week and a half has been for me. so it lowkey reflected in my writing. lemme get to spring break and I promise i will be more positive

[lozchi]

I saw your last one shot with Taehoon and it's really cool, i like it a lot. could you write something with seong taehoon x fem reader, something soft where he is in middle school and he is in love with reader but they are not dating maybe before he met Do Woon or during their friendship(

Nothing.

A/N: saw the word "soft", couldn't reject Pairing: Taehoon Seong x F!Reader Themes: A lot more dialogue than usual, a little less language as well. :)

Sunny skies, chirping birds, the fresh air, the indistinct chattering of the students fill the hallways - You happily skid your way past classrooms, feeling like everything is aligning perfectly.

That is until, Taehoon steps in front of you with a scowl. You might be wondering what’s exactly got him so riled up. Though you know he's unlikely to spill if you ask, it doesn't hurt to try, especially when it's you.

”What’s gotten you in such a pissy mood?” You inquire, noting the tension in his expression on his oh-so-handsome face.

Gosh, how long you could stare at his kissable lips, ruffle with his hair and—

”I’m not in a pissy mood.” He retorts, followed by a faint “hmph”.

Yup. He’s definitely pissed.

Without warning, he grabs your arm and drags you to the library.

”Ugh! What’s with you today?”

You try to shove him away, but Taehoon is immovable as ever.

”Nothing.”

It’s definitely not nothing, particularly when he's unusually clingy, like a child seeking protection from his mother. Sure, he’s probably got mommy issues, but it isn’t this bad to the point he’s looking for a substitute.

Anyway, you aren’t a mind reader. So you’re not gonna stop being an inquisitive bitch until you get an answer. But before you can even voice your thoughts, Taehoon starts muttering.

”Remember the guy you helped when some twerps were bothering him?” He asks, avoiding your gaze.

You take a moment to recall the incident he's referring to, realizing soon enough who he means.

”Uh-huh. That guy from class E, I think? What about him?”

A heavy silence fills the air. Taehoon struggles to find the right words to express what's bothering him. You raise a brow, awaiting an explanation while he still struggles to speak. For about 15 seconds, he keeps his grip on your arm, though it gradually loosens when he finally speaks up again.

”He wants to ask you out.”

He finally mutters, seeming to realize that his own feelings aren't really relevant to the situation.

You take a moment to absorb his words before playfully smacking him on the cheek, causing him to flinch at your unexpected action.

Are you… teasing him?

"Is that why you looked so pissed today?” You ask with a chuckle.

“Are you jeal-”

”No.”

He bluntly replies, but his flushed face says so otherwise.

”Ugh, then why are you so troubled with the fact that he wants to ask me out?”

”I’m just, well…”

It's not like Taehoon has any right to be angry. After all, he spends most of his time with you, whether it's training in the dojang, playing Tekken at the arcade, or even the occasional sleepovers you both have. There's hardly a moment when you're apart, which might just stem from his internalized fear of being separated from you.

He's worried.

So worried, in fact, that the thought of having to let go of you terrifies him, consuming his thoughts entirely, that it’s probably inevitable that detatching himself from you is his only option.

”Forget it, just let me know when you’re going.” He finally concedes, his tone resigned.

Knowing Taehoon, it's either A.) he'll "casually" follow you during your date to "ensure your safety," or B.) the date won't happen at all. He won't fucking allow it. He won’t let it. No, not ever.

He releases your arm with a weary sigh, about to turn and leave, when you burst into laughter uncontrollably.

”Pfffft!\~ You’re so pathetic sometimes, y’know? How hard is it to admit that you’re jealous?”

”I am not!”

”You are\~”

You tease, a grin spreading across your face.

”Tch, whatever.”

He grumbles, unable to hide the slight flush creeping up his neck.

——

When you return to your classroom, a note sits on your desk, undoubtedly from the guy Taehoon mentioned. It reads, "Please meet me at the school gym after break.” the penmanship even better than yours and Taehoon’s combined.

”You’re not planning on going out with him, are ya?”

Taehoon asks, slyly slinging his arm around your shoulder.

”What do you think my answer will be?”

You reply smugly, pulling him closer.

”Das for you to tell me. What will it be?”

”Hmm, I dunno—”

”Oh, come on.”

Taehoon rolls his eyes in half-disbelief.

Soon enough, you make your way to the gym with Taehoon by your side. There's a bit of bickering and some comments from him about how it's a waste of time to go out with a schoolmate you barely speak to, suggesting it would be better to train with him instead.

As you spot the guy, Taehoon follows closely behind. You turn to face him, silently mouthing a "what" as he stays glued to your side.

”Dude, we need a moment.”

You whisper-shout, but he only rolls his eyes.

”Okay, fine. But if he does something wrong, just signal me and I won’t hesitate to jump him, kick his ass, ruin his life, fuck him up so bad- no, I don’t mean fuck fuck, but like ruin his life to the—”

And with that, you leave Taehoon behind, sighing hopelessly as he wonders if he'll ever muster the same courage as the boy confessing to you now. But for now, it seems like an impossible feat.

He watches from a distance, his expression stoic as he observes the bashful interaction between you and the boy.

”Fuck, maybe I am jealous.”

Taehoon grumbles, his lips pressing together tightly as his thoughts consume him.

What if he isn’t enough for you? What if his personality is a bit too much to handle? What if you really went out with someone else who isn’t- Taehoon? What if deep down, you know his feelings for you but you only decide to ignore because you’re not exactly sure how to reject him?

”What if—?”

"Taehoon, let's go."

You interject with a smile, breaking his train of thought. He stares back blankly as you inquire;

"You alright?”

A part of him—no, every fiber of his being wishes you had rejected the boy. He doesn't want you with anyone else. It's selfish, he knows, but he's unwilling to let you slip away, unwilling to waste a moment he can't spend with you. Fucking cringy as it may sound, it's the truth.

”What did you tell him?” Taehoon asks nonchalantly, trying to mask his inner turmoil.

"I told him if you couldn't come, I wasn't interested. Then he mentioned it was supposed to be a date, and you could come as the third wheel.” ”And then?” "I couldn't picture you agreeing to just being a third wheel, so I said no.”

You reply with a shrug.

Taehoon cartwheels internally, trying his hardest not to smile with the information you just gave him. He silently celebrates the fact that you prioritized HIM over a potential date. Deep down, he wants to shout with joy, scream “FUCK YEAH, TAKE THAT, PUSSY!” But of course, he suppresses all his emotions.

”Then, are you free after school tomorrow?” ”Uh-huh.” ”What about the day after tomorrow?” ”Yup!” ”And the day after that?” ”I have cram school but I’ll make some time for you.” ”What about the day after…”

As the two of you stroll outside the campus, engaged in a lighthearted, nonsensical conversation, Taehoon discreetly pulls out pieces of paper out of his pockets.

"What are those?" You inquire, your curiosity piqued by his secretive actions.

"Nothing."

He replies casually, though there's a mischievous glint in his eye as he swiftly empties his pockets, throwing a collection of love letters from other students (that have been sent your way, perhaps out of protectiveness or simply to spare you the hassle of dealing with them yourself)into a nearby bin.

He clings onto your arm once more; ”Nothing important at all.”

[hrefna-the-raven]

I don't need your help!

Notes: I'm obsessed with the Harry Potter movies again and of course my main obsession, yet again is Snape 😇😍😅 so yeah, here you go, a small female reader and Severus Snape moment 😉

Words: 727

Summary: Snape gets yet again bullied by James and his friends. It's your first year at Hogwarts and despite having never talked to Snape, you won't tolerate bullies and step up for him.

"Expelliarmus!", a male voice shouted, being cheered on by a group of other students around him.

You glanced in the direction of the commotion and identified the culprits immediately. A Gryffindor student, encouraged by his companions, had taken away the wand of a tall, thin Slytherin student who was peacefully sitting at a tree before they showed up. Having attended a non-magical school prior to receiving your acceptance letter from Hogwarts, you were familiar with this type of behavior. Whether in a regular or magical setting, bullies always stood out and intimidated those they considered vulnerable and insignificant. You've been here for only a few months but you were determined to not let anyone bully an innocent person, so, naturally, age and height differences did not deter you as you instinctively rushed towards the unfolding situation. The Slytherin student hovered in mid-air while the Gryffindor boy maintained his wand's pointed position.

"Right", he laughed, "do you want to see Snivillu-", his sentence was abruptly interrupted by a loud gagging noise.

The boy's gagging persisted as he collapsed on his knees, his complexion turned pale as his lips parted in agony and pain, a slimey green slug slithered out of his mouth, causing those around him to gasp in disbelief. Their heads turned towards you as they took a step back upon seeing you standing there, your wand aimed at the bully on the ground.

With a loud thud, the Slytherin student fell to the ground as the spell wore off. His eyes cautiously met yours while his mind struggled to comprehend what had just happened.

"Take your friend and leave!", you commanded the group rather calmly, given the rage that was bubbling within you, "and if I ever see him doing this again, he'll throw up more than just slugs!"

As you observed the group escort their companion away, you carefully stowed your wand back into the pocket of your robe. Your attention then shifted back to the student who had been targeted earlier, allowing you to truly see him for the first time. Compared to you, he possessed an impressive height, which seemed to surpass what his uniform could accommodate with his trousers barely reaching above his ankles. His sleek black hair cascaded down, concealing a significant portion of his face; however, it couldn't hide his defined jawline and prominent hooked nose. Eventually, your gaze ascended towards his captivating dark eyes that contrasted beautifully against his pale complexion. You may have spotted him on several occasions in the library but never dared to speak to him as he was obviously at least four years older than you and always occupied the farthest corner, engrossed in his reading material.

"Are you ok?", you tilted your head curiously, your voice gentle and calm.

"I don't need your help!", Snape shouted angrily, tears threatening to spill from the corners of his eyes.

In an attempt to push away his sorrow, he sought solace in seething rage. James had once again targeted him for humiliation in front of everyone, but a new emotion was now brewing within him. Although just a young first-year student, you bravely defended him without any personal gain or knowledge of either him or Potter. Your actions appeared to stem from genuine kindness and a strong sense of moral obligation, something he never thought to witness, most certainly not directed at him.

Severus experienced a touch of gratitude mingling with his usual feelings of shame. Although he wouldn't confess to you, today he truly appreciated your decision to step in.

"I don't care", you shrugged your shoulders nonchalantly, "it was the right thing to do and I'd do it again, whether you like it or not."

You turned around and walked back towards the castle, slightly annoyed at the boy's hostile attitude towards you.

"Wait!", Snape yelled, taking a hesitant step in your direction, "what's your name?"

You stopped in your tracks, huffing out your name without even turning around to look at him.

"I-I'm Severus", his voice cracked, doubt and fear seeping through his initial angry tone.

You let out a sigh and looked at him, feeling an inexplicable fascination. There was an intangible attraction that drew you to him and if he allowed it, you would stick by his side to get to the bottom of it.

"Well Severus who doesn't need my help", you gave him a mischievous wink, "despite all, it still is a pleasure to have met you."

And with that, you turned around and continued to head back to the castle.

[foldingfittedsheets]

Hello! I'm kinda just starting my road to adulthood with a BS in STEM I may never use, no job experience outside of a farm or lab, and a wide world of weird to look forward to in the future. (Politics and climate change, y'all.) Still, I just want to say I've been reading your posts about working your way up from struggling to make ends meet to having a spouse and stability and being happy. And that? It makes me feel like maybe I can make it too. :) I'm glad you exist and have been talking frankly about your experiences because for young people like me who are just starting out, it makes us feel less alone.

With that in mind, any advice you want to pass along to us young'ins? I'd be glad for any wisdom you can offer. :)

No experience is ever wasted. Even if your STEM degree doesn’t land you the job you want you will get so much good experience in the course of learning it.

Dress as nicely as you can for interviews. Even if it looks secondhand, they’ll know you made an effort. If you roll up in street clothes they’re gonna assume you don’t care.

Social programs exist to be used. Go on food stamps as a student. There’s a lot of government programs that people don’t know about that will really help you out.

All nighters are never. Ever. Worth it. Stop, put it down, set an early alarm and go to bed. If you’re regularly doing that look into time management strategies, but know that you will produce your worst work at 3am and waste all that tuition.

All things being reasonable, and your work being taken care of, try to say yes to as many new life experiences as you can.

Wear sunscreen.