#stefan bulter drabbles

[fakescenarios-tohelpyousleep]

Control| Stefan Butler {Bandersnatch}

summary| stefan feels like he’s being controlled, you have to help him take that control back.

Entering through the front door of the house Stefan shares with his father, you have deja vu to the last however many months since Stefan's meeting with Tuckersoft. The house was quiet and still, Stefan's father already had left for work leaving the two of you alone.

     The only noises coming from his bed room was the clacking of Stefan's fingers on his keyboard and the scratching of his pencil on the notebook paper, as well as the soft turning back of forth of the pages of Bandersnatch which you read while laying, stomach first, on Stefan's bed. You didn't mind sitting in silence with Stefan day after day, it was better then not seeing him at all which is what would happen if you didn't join him in his room everyday. Everyday is always the same. You come to Stefan's late in the morning, mainly so you avoid his father, you bring him breakfast/lunch depending on the day, Stefan spends every waking hour programming and reading and re-reading the book. You don't mind, in fact, you like being there. And if we're being honest, you were scared to leave him alone. You're the only one who can get him to do anything outside of his game. Only you can get him to eat, only you can get him to calm down when the game crashes, only you can get him to take breaks and lye in bed with you and breath.

   For as long as you've known Stefan, he's always been an anxious and fidgety person. Weather that meant biting his nails or pulling on his earlobe, you always thought it was something he did subconsciously to ease anxiety, however as weeks continued to pass you began to notice him not doing these ticks anymore and found him folding his hands under his arms, as if to keep him from doing them.

   Right now was no different. The two of you sat in his father's car, parked on the curb just outside of your home. You had persuaded Stefan into driving you home as a means of getting him out of his desk chair. Asking for a ride was the easiest way to get Stefan away from the game, as if he didn't you'd be force to take public transportation. You were pulled from your thoughts and your humming of which ever Thompson Twins song was currently playing on the radio when you hear the shifting of Stefan in the drivers seat besides you. Your head was quick to snap to his director and spotted your boyfriend hunched over the  steering wheel, tensely with his hands once again tucked tightly under his arms. You watch him for a few seconds, unsure of what to even do. Soon Stefan's body relaxes and his hands fall back onto the steering wheel in front of him. "Stefan, what the hell is going on?" Stefan slightly turns his head in your general direction but like normal he keeps his eyes down, besides the few split seconds he glances up at you. "Nothing, I'm fine." He's quick to reply, not wanting to worry you. However, it was a little too late for that. "No you're not, Stefan! You're completely stressing out over this Bandersnatch game, you're not even letting yourself calm your anxiety." Stefan's eyes finally raise to meet yours in a state of confusion. "What are you even talking about?" "You're nail biting and you pulling your earlobes, you always use to do it subconsciously when your anxiety was going off but now it seems like your fighting yourself to not let you calm yourself down." Your voice was filled with concern, and he hear it, however he was having an internal battle over something. He wasn't subconsciously doing those things, they weren't his choice, he wasn't controlling it. Dropping his arms from the steering wheel and into his lap, Stefan turned his whole body towards you. "I am fighting it, Y/N. I'm not the one in fucking control anymore!" His voice raised, however you didn't react. Him raising his voice has been a normal occurrence recently. "What do you mean?" Stefan stayed silent. "You feel like someone is controlling you?" "I don't feel like it, someone is Y/N!" Stefan's hands quickly slam down, gripping ahold of the center console, his quick movement make you flinch slightly. "What are you being told to do now?" With a dry mouth, your voice cracks as you ask. "To hurt you, but I don't want to, I won't." Stefan grits threw his teeth, his body finally relaxing. "How is it controlling you, Stefan?" The phrasing of your sentence reminds him of Dr. Haynes and his father, but it's your tone of voice that keeps him from thinking you're the same. "Everything, from the type of cereal I eat in the morning to the music I listen to, to the way I react. They control everything." You quickly lean forward and turn off the radio, stopping the Thompson Twins from playing. "Well-" You pause for a few seconds before continuing. "What do you need me to do when it happens?" Stefan looks at you once again, in shock. He was expecting you to call him crazy and run as far away from him as possible, he should know better but he couldn't help but let the thought run threw him mind. "I- I don't know." His head now hung in disappointment. Stefan knew you just wanted to help him, hell he wished he could tell you how but he didn't know. His body quickly relaxed more when you leaned your body over the center console of the car wrapped your arms tightly around your boyfriend's shoulders. "Listen, whenever you feel like you're being controlled to do something bad, just call out for me, okay? I'll figure something out." Stefan nodded into your shoulder, agreeing to your terms.

    Clicking of the keyboard, pages turning back and forth in the book, Stefan's pencil on the paper. The same thing, just a different date. You're so lost in your own head and the book in front of you that you don't realize that all noises stopped, and you don't hear the sound of Stefan's fingers banging down on the wooden desk. It's not until your name rushes from his mouth that you finally look up from the book. The sight was terrifying to you. Stefan body was again tense and shaking, his fingers were the same way in an attempt to dig themselves into the wooden desk. "Y/N, it's fucking happening." You're besides him in seconds, one arm wrapped around his shoulders also as a way of letting him know you were with him. "What are they making you do, Stefan?" You pull him closer to your body as you're eyes stayed locked on his hands. Stefan doesn't verbally answer, however you can put two and two together when his hand begins moving towards his mouth, only for his other hand to take a hold of that one and slam it back down onto the desk. You lean forward, placing your hand ontop of both of his. "Stefan, listen to my voice, okay? I'm here, you are in control. I'm not gonna let anything bad happen to you." You can feel him fighting again your hands. In one swift motion you are in front of him sat up ontop of his desk, worried how he would react if you sat in his lap instead. Both of your hands moved to lace with Stefan's as you hold them tightly in your lap. You continue to talk to him, you stray away from using anything besides your normal voice in an attempt to not make Stefan feel like he's in therapy.  After a few more minutes, you finally feel Stefan's body still and relax, you drop his hands only for him to lean forward and wrap his arms around your torso, laying his head in your lap. He stayed like that, saying nothing as you move your hand into his head of curls as a means of calming him. No more than 5 minutes later Stefan is dead asleep in your lap.

    "Hello, Y/N" Stefan's father jumped as he turned from locking the door of the one room you nor Stefan have never been in, only to find you standing there. "Hi." You mumble back, before pressing on towards your boyfriend's bedroom. "Oh, Y/N?" his father called out from behind you, making you turn and face him. "Make sure Stefan gets a meal today, alright?" If he wasn't looking directly at you, you would have rolled your eyes at him. "Always do, Mr. Butler." You turn, roll your eyes and push your way into Stefan's bedroom. You stop as soon as you pass through his doorway. You watched as he fought to put the cup of tea back down onto his desk. You quickly drop your bag at the door way and run up behind Stefan wrapping your arms tightly around him from behind, forcing his arm down. "I'm not going to destroy my computer." Stefan stated, through his gritted teeth. You had told him to verbally say he wasn't going to do something, as a means of training his brain into controlling it himself. "You're not going to destroy the computer." Stefan's head came back to rest on your shoulder, or so you thought to rest before he began yelling out. "Who's doing this to me?" You let out a sign, you hated seeing Stefan this way, you hated that you just couldn't make it all stop. "Who's doing this to me?!" You wrap your arms tighter around your boyfriend, as of the moment, letting him know you were there was the only thing you could do. Both of your heads quickly snapped back to the computer screen when the screen suddenly went black and began making noises. White letters then began to show up one by one of the screen. "I am controlling you through Netflix." You and Stefan turn to one another in confusion before looking back at his screen and saying in unison, "What the fuck is Netflix?"