#steddyhands ficlet

[shaw-ni]

Steadyhands AU, post Edizzy divorce where after some therapy, an intervention from their friends and a break from each other which lasted a few weeks, Ed and Izzy’s relationships is firmly in the “ it’s complicated” option on Facebook (Izzy is a Facebook mum and does post pointed passive aggressive rants on his page daily). Ed starts bringing Izzy coffee during their lunch break, a large haf-caf cappuccino with coconut milk and one sugar (haf-caf because he needs some caffeine to keep himself awake but not enough to keep him trapped to the toilet seat). Ed has a new concoction every day, always with 7 pumps of what ever syrup they have on option, and coconut milk as well (which he gets to let Izzy have a taste, and even though it tastes like a headache and the cream is never dairy free, Izzy always tries at least one sip, he’s trying too, okay?). Thing is, the coffee might just be the best coffee he’s ever tasted, the first time Izzy tasted it (trying not to look into Ed’s big brown hopeful eyes) he almost moaned in bliss, but settled for a slight nod and a muttered “it’s good”, which might as well have been a Hollywood handshake coming from Izzy.

The coffee cups are damn adorable too, with little illustrated pirate ships and the ocean filled with sea creatures on the sides (and some weird swirly writing as well, probably the barista writing the order? Not sure what the hearts are about, who cares, cursive is beyond him). The coffee shop is called ‘the revenge’ which seems an odd name, but their Tattoo parlour is called ‘Queen Annie’, so who is he to judge (said Izzy never). There’s only one problem, however, every time Ed comes back from the coffee shop, he practically skips into the studio, smile dimpling his cheeks like he just ate something sugary sweet. And Izzy knows that smile, even though it’s been years since it’s been aimed at him, it’s almost enough to put him off his coffee (almost, it’s fucking good coffee, right!).

Anywho, this goes on for a couple of weeks, with Izzy gritting his teeth every time Ed prances through the Parlour doors, until one day Ed’s not here to give him his daily coffee fix ( he told Ed going clubbing with Jack was a bad idea, but what’s does he know? He’s only been on the wrong end of Jacks generous pours since before he was legally allowed to drink, but whatever). Beforehand, Izzy would of just used their shop owned coffee machine in the kitchen, but perhaps he’s been a tiny but spoiled these past few weeks because their Nespresso coffee capsule doesn’t sounds appealing at all (that, and he’s not sure when it was last cleaned). He eventually decides, fuck it, and grabs his coat to head out side. It doesn’t take him long to find ‘the Revenge’, the place has a distinctly 16th century feel to it, in that it looks like it’s came right of the set of a period drama. The outside of the shop resembling the front of a ship, equipped with a unicorn figurehead, intricate wood carvings and what appears to be several hand made flags (including the trans flag, which, fuck yeah).

Inside, the place is bustling with customers and live music, the pirate theme seems to continue with the interior and there is a relaxing low light illuminating the shop. The live music, a tall but awkward man playing sea shanties on stage, seems to be the reason for the large number of people in the shop, and fortunately the line behind the counter seems to be relatively short. He makes a beeline for the line and repeats his coffee order in his head (it pays to be prepared). After five minutes, the line has annoyingly, not budged an inch; at this rate he’ll end up late for his next appointment. Izzy stretches his head to peer over the few heads in front of him and notices a tall, blonde twat babbling away to the frazzled barista. Fucking twat.

“Oye, quit holding up the line, some of us have places to be,” Izzy yells over to said twat. Startled, the man turns towards Izzy, and oh shit, assholes shouldn’t be allowed to be pretty, Jesus Christ. Shit. The asshole looks directly at Izzy, his eyes seem to drift and then linger on his chest, before moving slowly back to his face. Shit. He must be feeling the effects of a caffeine withdrawal, the only explanation to why he suddenly feels so flushed.

“One moment, sir. We’re quite in the middle of something.” With that the twat turns back to the barista, picking up their conversation.

Never mind, the only thing he’s feeling now is pissed.

“Mate, I doubt this guy wants to listen to your sad attempt at flirting, just order your damn coffee and go.”

The blonde asshole splutters angrily? Embarrassedly? And turns his full body towards Izzy (Jesus, those shoulders don’t deserve this guy, not fucking fair).

“My attempts at flirting are not sad! You angry little man! And I’m not flirting, that would be unprofessional, considering I am attempting to converse with my own staff!” The man speaks in a way that emphasises the unspoken exclamation points in his speech without actually increasing the volume of his voice, his accent is familiar in the way a 5 year old might play Mary had a little lamb on the piano. And wait… did he just say his staff?

He scoffs. “ Your staff?.”

The asshole raises a perfectly groomed eyebrow. “Mine.”

Izzy raises his own bushy eyebrow. “Well if I was you, I’d—”

“Oh, hey Izzy, didn’t think I’d see you here!”

Izzy turns too see his ex husband turned current best friend and forever love of his life weaving quickly through the crowd, suspiciously springy for someone who was supposed to be ‘too sick to work’ hungover.

Ed finally makes it through the cluster of people, and swings an arm around Izzy’s shoulder. He grins at Izzy and then weirdly enough at the blonde asshole Izzy was in the middle of arguing with. “I see you’ve met Stede!” He cups his hand to his mouth and mock whispers to the blonde twat, of course he’d have a pretentious name like Stede. “Man, Izzy here loves your cappuccinos, won’t drink it from anywhere else, he even said they were ‘not shit’ which coming from Izzy, is a five star review!”

Wait, what?

“He makes the cof—”

“He drinks the cappuccino?!?”

Izzy looks to the blonde prick, who seems to be turning an amusing shade of pink and oh… suddenly the hearts on the coffee cups make a lot more sense. Shit. Well isn’t this fucking fantastic.

[cannebady]

This is a horny and angsty steddyhands thought but like

What if Izzy starts realizing his mistake. Edward gets more and more reckless as time goes on. Becomes dangerously withdrawn and unpredictable, as much of a liability as Bonnet at his worst, and Izzy isn't an idiot. No amount of hero worship can mask the bile-tinged loneliness in Ed, the hole that lives in him now that rum and violence, and chaos, and even Izzy himself can't fill. So, with regret, he leaves Jim in charge and goes out to find Stede Fucking Bonnet himself because he has to atone, fix what he broke, or Izzy fears Edward will be lost to the ages before his time.

He finds Bonnet, along with his playthings, just off the coast of Nassau over a week after setting out. They somehow commandeered a small ship of their own, which even Izzy has to admit is impressive considering their lack of weapons and ability, and have been making their way towards The Revenge as fast as they could, stopping port to port to see if they can find word of their last known whereabouts. Bonnet shows him the logs, surprisingly well kept, and Izzy realizes that Bonnet would've caught up with them months ago had Ed's erratic moods and the bounty on his head not led them on a ludicrous goose chase across the ocean. For the first time he wonders if there might be more to Stede Bonnet than he initially thought. It certainly wouldn't be the first thing Izzy was wrong about.

They go to Stede's quarters and he offers Izzy a drink. It isn't served in the china that formerly occupied the Captain's quarters on The Revenge, but it's nicer than any pirate, hell any sailor, should have aboard a vessel, but the brandy is good so who's he to complain? He's about to try and figure out why Bonnet fucked off instead of coming back with Edward, and attempt to do so while not shooting daggers at the entitled shit that got Edward's love and tossed it away like nothing, like it wasn't the only thing Izzy's ever wanted for himself. Anyway, he doesn't have to because Bonnet just starts talking, Izzy should've figured he would, and somehow he pours out his heart to Izzy about his kiss with Ed (damn him), the plan to run away together (fucking Edward and his fucking plans), the twat from the British Navy, and the spectacularly bad bout of decision making followed by some fuckery that Ed will absolutely love hearing about once he's stopped being furious. Which he will be, but at this point with Bonnet or himself, or both is up to the fates and Ed's temper. But Bonnet is sincere if nothing else, and he gave away all of his wealth which Izzy thinks is very stupid but Ed will think is romantic, so he'll probably forgive the ponce and then they'll live happily ever after and Izzy can fade into obscurity. Try as he might to disagree, it was always going to end that way.

Fine. It's fucking fine.

Over the next several weeks, Izzy realizes that Stede has gained some decent skills, perhaps not as a pirate but as a solid enough sailor. He doesn't like admitting it and he still thinks he's mostly useless, but he is functionally less useless than he used to be which is probably the reason they didn't all die before Izzy found them. Reluctantly, he starts to view Stede as a partner in his mission rather than a mark.

Then Stede asks him to have dinner in his quarters or help him chart their course and, surprising himself above all, he agrees easily. It turns out that they can even work well together if Izzy can put the fact that he hates him out of his mind. It's getting easier to do with time. So easy, in fact, that Izzy's doing it most of the time without conscious thought.

It's the lack of conscious though, Izzy thinks, that leads to some of his worst ever decision making and that really is saying something.

There's rum involved, of course, but there's also gin and Izzy will never admit it but gin is the spirit that makes him loose and lascivious. It has him thinking that Stede's not the worst conversationalist. Thinking that he's actually a fucking blast once they're both deep in their cups. He's a natural story teller with a dry, downright bitchy, sense of humor and Izzy's loose and feeling cautiously optimistic that he can fix Edward, and then the topic of Edward comes up and Izzy doesn't have the forethought to school his expression and Stede wouldn't think to.

"So you kissed him?" Izzy asks, ignoring slurring that definitely did not happen.

"I did. It was wonderful." Stede replies, eyes closed and smiling like it's his best memory. It probably is.

"Lucky bastard. I never got the chance. Wasn't like that with us." Izzy replies. It's not even snarky if he's honest. Maybe just a touch lovelorn.

"S'ridiculous! You've, well, you must have?" Stede slurs.

"Must've what?" From far away Izzy hears a pounding and it takes him a moment to realize it's his heart.

"Been together?" Stede replies and looks him dead in the eye.

Ah. So Stede isn't totally oblivious.

"Nothin' as poncey as 'being together'. We fucked plenty but I'd have remembered kissing him." Izzy's being awful fucking honest.

But he's also looking at Stede. Looking at the way his cheeks redden and heat at even the concept of Ed and Fucking in the same sentence. It's sweet. There's a long-dormant part of Izzy, one that went into hibernation when he met Ed at the tender age of nineteen, that wants to claim that expression for himself. Wants to be the one who caused it.

It's the tail end of that thought that makes him ask a woefully fucking stupid question that catalyzes the whole damn string of bullshit events that follow.

First he asks, "So, have you ever fucked a man?" to which Stede chokes and blushes further, effectively answering the question.

Izzy's sitting up and in Stede's face faster than his gin-addled body should be able to move.

His hand grips the collar of Stede's simple linen shirt, much without his permission, and his mouth takes the cue to say, "Do you want to?"

And then it's a flurry of movement, of Izzy straddling Stede's lap, both fumbling their breeches open, and finally hiding his head in the crook of Stede's neck while he strokes them off together.

Stede's moaning like he's getting paid for it and that gets Izzy hot like nothing else, and he's biting bruises into the tender flesh of Stede's neck and fuck this isn't going to last long at all.

He knows that Stede is fucking him as a replacement for Ed. He may well be fucking Stede just to get under Ed's skin, just to say he got there first, tasted the forbidden fruit and sullied it before Ed ever got the chance.

A bigger part of him thinks that he's trying to get as close to what Ed loves as possible. It's the closest he'll ever come to having that love for himself.

Either way, Stede is hurtling towards his finish, throbbing and thick and blood hot in Izzy's hand.

"Go on, come for me like you want to come for him," Izzy growls and Stede whines and comes almost on command.

Fuck. Fuck, that's fucking hot. Izzy follows moments later, silent as he always is, but biting into Stede's shoulder. It's only now that he realizes that Stede had one hand on his back and the other in his hair. It's more intimate than he's prepared for.

They don't speak about it. They disentangle, get dressed, and go their separate ways for the night without speaking another word.

They don't talk about it the next day, or the day after that, or even after it happens again a couple of days later.

They don't talk about the fact that they're trying to fuck Ed through each other and Izzy definitely doesn't talk about the fact that he's started to want Stede in his own right.

He wants to kiss him and feel what Ed did. He wants to claim him for himself. He wants both and nothing and everything all at once.

They don't talk about it when it keeps happening, so often that crew is catching on. They don't even talk about it during, with Izzy resolutely keeping his face turned into Stede's neck or chest or anywhere that he won't see what's happening. Wanting things for himself has never been part of Izzy's game but fuck does he want this and he can't have it, no matter what.

It's fine. Fuck, even if it isn't, it's fine.

It's the beginning of the end. Stede's got him pressed against a wall, rutting against each other with abandon, when it all falls apart. Izzy was desperate and made the mistake of making eye contact with Stede in the galley. They didn't even make it back to Stede's quarters before they were pressed together for all they're worth.

Something feels different, but he can't parse it out through the feeling of Stede's hand stroking him off, or the feel of Stede's arse in his palms, or the fact that Stede's cock is pressed so tightly against him, still trapped in linen, that he can feel it like a brand on his hip. It feels fucking right and Izzy wants more.

Suddenly, Stede's speaking and it's a shocking enough deviation from the norm that Izzy can't even process the words for what they are for a moment.

"Izzy, Israel, please let me," he's repeating into Izzy's ear.

His name. Stede said his name. He's been laboring under the assumption that Stede is picturing Ed during their trysts. No matter if Izzy had stopped doing that after the first go around. No matter that Izzy sometimes got himself off to the fantasy of Stede telling him he wanted him just as he is.

To have it happen? Izzy's unprepared. He's also unprepared for having to rebuff someone who has their hand nestled so sweetly against his cock that it almost hurts from the pleasure. Because he can't have Stede. Ed already staked his claim and this whole fucking plan was for him to fix Ed, not fuck the love of his life. Not steal him away, even if that's what Izzy wants to do because he's a pirate and he's not used to not taking what he wants. He is used to sacrificing for Ed, though, so he'll do it, even if it kills him.

"Can't," he grunts, "We can't. Ed-" he can't continue because Stede started kissing up his neck, following the lines of the swallow tattoo, and he's moving up, closer and closer to his jaw and fuck what he'd give for a kiss, a real one.

He won't be strong enough to call it off after that.

He uses the rest of his strength to grab Stede's biceps (and good fuck did all that rowing do wonders, fuck, fuck, fuck) and push him back. His hair is wild from Izzy's hands and he looks desperate and fuck is it a good look.

"You're Ed's, I can't." Izzy grits out.

"But I want," Stede starts and goes to angle for Izzy's mouth and fuck this is going to fucking kill him.

"Save it for Ed, yeah? I'm a poor substitute." He replies and shuffles out from between Stede and the wall.

He doesn't look back. He can't see the look of agreement and understanding on his face. It's one act of self preservation in a maelstrom of sacrifice. He won't acknowledge the tears that want to fall or the rage at how unfair it is that he'd fall in something with two people who wanted each other and not him.

If he had looked back, he would've seen a look of pure heartbreak on Stede's face.

Instead, they both go to their separate chambers and wonder how they're going to work this out.

On the horizon, a familiar flag comes into view.

[izzyhandslightofmylife]

horrid fic idea day! One of those classic steddyhands izzy-gets-kidnapped fics and they realize how much they need him, you get the drift. But what if, -shocker- we fucked it up??

Ed and stede are mad at izzy when it happens. Maybe it's set, like, in the early stages of Ed and Stede getting back togethe, and they decide it's just easier to take their feelings out on izzy. Or if it's afterward, and they're upset because he's ruining the mood in his love for them and he's a fucking tragedy and they're not.

izzy gets kidnapped by the navy and puts up a big fight, you know him. In the process, he goes full on feral mode and ends up biting someone in the throat because his weapons are gone. They contact Ed (and stede, who's just kinda there) for ransom or as bait. when they do show up, the officer tells Ed to keep his dog on a leash next time. Izzy's right there, blood still on his chin, hanging in between two officers.

we as the audience are all set up to believe that this is the moment izzy realizes how much he actually means to Ed (and stede)- he's taking his weapons out, visibly angry, etc. but when the tension builds and he gets in the officers face, he just. Stops. Straightens up. And snaps his fingers. He gives Izzy his gun. Ed doesn't kill, remember? And Izzy's fucking exhausted. He's in pain. But he does whatever they want him to. He takes the gun and starts fighting like hell. Ed and Stede sit back and watch. There are so many near misses, times that he's genuinely struggling, but they do nothing.

When all the officers are dead, Izzy is the one who apologizes. For the blood everywhere, for the inconvenience, for the fact that he ever dared to think they'd help him.

Bonus points if they treat it like such, a minor inconvenience. Bonus points if they walk out without looking behind them to help Izzy, who still follows. Bonus points if his reward is a brush of the hand and a murmured, slightly sarcastic, "good dog".

[thetimetravellercat]

Heya! I've finished writing my second OS in my autistic!Izzy series, and here it is:

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Israel Hands-centric, Established Relationship, Polyamory, Autistic!Israel Hands, Autistic Character, description of past child abuse and ableism, γλυκύπικρον, (that tag is for my beta-reader as always), Angst, Comfort, Izzy is struggling and heading for an autistic burnout, he is also somewhat ashamed of being autistic and he is dealing with that in this fic, Stede is nothing but supportive, so is Ed, Izzy Needs a Hug, and he gets one, multiple actually, and finally, as always, it wouldn't be one of my fics if it wasn't full of hope, Hope

Summary:

“They could.” Iz said, finally.

“What could they do?”

“Give me a straight answer.”

“I’m all ears then.”

“It’s bad because it’s not normal.”

It was Stede’s turn to be silent.

“Izzy, do you want to be normal?” He asked, seriously.

Izzy let out a frustrated huff. “I don’t fuckin’ know.” He looked at the marbles laid out on the floor. “I’ve been trying really hard to be normal all my fuckin’ life. And it’s never, ever felt fuckin’ nice. But *that* felt nice. It’s always felt nice.”

“You’re allowed nice things, Izzy.”

Masking is all Izzy has known pretty much his entire life. First because that’s what he was taught, then because that was the only way to survive, the only way to be accepted, or so he thought. But maybe, maybe there is a different way.

[kharti]

[ Closing Time #10 ]

      ( first | prev )

Izzy’s breath left him, all at once, as Ed slid into him. His body was so relaxed post-orgasm that there wasn’t any resistance, just an even glide until he was full, so full, so fucking deliciously full—

      ( Continue reading on AO3 or... )

Izzy’s breath left him, all at once, as Ed slid into him. His body was so relaxed post-orgasm that there wasn’t any resistance, just an even glide until he was full, so full, so fucking deliciously full—

“Proper prep always leads to a better meal,” Ed said, his voice strained as he tried to stay in character, running his tongue over his teeth. “No one likes tough meat.”

Stede huffed a shallow laugh, sweat visible on his brow as he watched with pupils blown wide. “I dare say not.”

“This meat is—” Ed struggled not to groan as he started to move his hips, pulling out nearly all the way and shoving back in. “Tender.”

“Warm?” Stede asked, his body swaying closer, his eyes fixed on the place where Ed and Izzy were joined.

“Fuckin’ hot.” Ed’s grip on Izzy’s hips tightened. “So fuckin’ hot inside.”

Izzy was rocked by each thrust, his skin sliding with a bit of friction along the tabletop, his fingers struggling to find purchase against the smooth surface as they tried to grab onto something, anything.

“Oh,” Stede breathed, his own hands clutching at the front of his pants. “May I—”

“Whatever the—customer wants.” Ed was pounding into him now, relentlessly. He moved a hand to the back of Izzy’s knee and lifted his leg up to give Stede a better view.

Stede, meanwhile, frantically unzipped his pants and had fished his cock out so quickly that he looked like a teenager, fumbling and trembling with too much arousal. He sighed with relief as he wrapped his fingers around himself and started to stroke, tight and quick little motions along the shaft and head.

Izzy had never felt so wonderfully helpless before, pinned under both their gazes, unable to do anything but moan and whimper with every thrust.

He'd also never felt so—loved.

This scene was one of worship, all of it put together by these two men to please him. To love him. And, he realized with a ripple of satisfaction, he was driving the both of them wild by just existing.

He wasn’t even trying to be sexy. He was just being fucked, just trying to keep up as Ed pounded into him, and Stede was about to cum with his belt still on.

His cock throbbed with the need to cum again, but he was too wrung out to even manage a dribble. He felt it bob against his stomach, bouncing with each thrust.

“Don’t cum yet,” Ed said, and it took Izzy a moment to realize he meant Stede. “I’m almost—fuck—I’ve almost got ‘im ready for you. Sir.”

Stede’s head snapped up. “You mean—”

Ed gave a wheezing little chuckle. “Just a moment—”

Izzy’s lungs couldn’t keep up. He was trying to gasp for air, but Ed kept fucking the breath out of him in pitchy whimpers and whines. His vision started to blur and his eyes watered, his chest ached with each heave.

And then Ed’s hips went flush to Izzy’s ass with one final push, throbbing deep inside him, filling him up.

“F—Fuck,” Ed groaned, his shoulders hunching forward as he curled in, trying to get closer with a little push of his hips. He shuddered, eyes closed, lips parted, his hands tight on Izzy as he squeezed tighter.

Then he straightened up and withdrew, Stede’s eyes following the movement while his own hand slowed.

“All ready for you, sir,” Ed said, voice hoarse, stepping to the side. His eyes flashed as he continued, “Please be sure to describe your experience… in detail.”

Izzy’s mouth went dry.

Oh, gods, he wasn’t going to survive this.

“Looks delectable,” Stede said, standing up and moving to place himself between Izzy’s legs. “I love what you’ve done with the center.”

Stede’s hand slipped between Izzy’s cheeks, his thumb prodding at his entrance, and Izzy could feel the wetness leaking out of him as Stede toyed with it.

“Is it a cream sauce?”

“Housemade,” Ed replied as he dropped down onto a seat, running a hand through his hair, pushing sweat-soaked strands out of his face.

Izzy watched with widening eyes as Stede brought the hand to his lips and licked his thumb.

“Delicious,” he said, his eyes locked with Izzy’s. “This whole meal is unspeakably delicious.”

A whine rose up in the back of Izzy’s throat, unbidden, forced out of him from the intensity of Stede’s stare.

Stede smiled and took himself in hand to line up with Izzy’s entrance, pushing inside with almost too much ease. The sensation of a large cock sliding into him, slick with Ed’s cum—it made Izzy actually whimper, his head falling back against the table.

“It’s so warm inside,” Stede said, his voice rough with desire as he started to pull back out, pulled all the way out and slammed inside again, skin slapping loudly against skin. “I feel like I could drown inside it. Not just from your seasoning, but from the way the meat hugs my cock.”

Izzy’s mouth fell open, but no sound came out. A shiver coursed through him as the warm words continued to rain down.

“It fits so perfectly, like it was made to be devoured.” All the way out again, back in with a hard thrust. “Oh, I’ve never had anything like it—absolutely divine. Absolutely divine.”

Stede leaned down and ran his tongue over the curve of Izzy’s chest, finding a nipple and swirling around before brushing his teeth over it. He panted a bit, his breath warm where his tongue left a wet trail on Izzy’s skin.

“I think—” Stede moved to the other nipple and opened his mouth wide to bite the meat of his chest, then laved the marks he made with soothing licks. “—this might be my new favorite dish.”

“Glad to hear it, sir,” Ed said, one arm slung over the back of his chair while he watched with dark, glittering eyes.

Stede continued to thrust in and out of him, each movement made slick from Ed’s cum, slicker still from what Stede’s cock leaked in all his excitement. Izzy groaned as he imagined how wet he was, how full of cock and cum he was. How utterly debauched he felt, and Stede hadn’t even finished yet.

“I want to have it again and again—” Stede’a breath puffed across Izzy’s skin as he tried to speak without panting, and failed. “How many times will you prepare it?”

Ed chuckled and stood, his strength recovered enough for him to move beside the table. He leaned over, palm pressed to the flat surface that rocked with Stede’s hurried thrusts, and hovered his lips right over Izzy’s. Close enough to feel the warmth of his skin, but not the touch of his lips.

“As often as you like,” he said, eyes locked on Izzy’s before he leaned in the rest of the way to swallow his cries with a hard kiss.

Izzy felt himself tighten as his cock tried to spend, but he had nothing to give. Maybe if he was a younger man, he’d be on his third or fourth orgasm now. But it was enough to push Stede over the edge, skin slapping to skin with one final thrust, and the man groaned low and deep as he came.

There was a quiet moment filled only with panting while Izzy trembled. He was worn out, wrung out, turned inside out. He had never felt so completely exhausted after sex before, like he had been running the whole time and not just lying there and taking it.

Ed continued to kiss him, softening with each swipe of his tongue against Izzy’s, and Stede slowly pulled out with an audible sound of wetness.

Then the two men stood together as they gazed at Izzy, and Izzy stared back at them through half-lidded eyes.

“Are you ready for dessert?” Ed asked, and Stede smiled.

Izzy’s heart thumped in his chest. He had nothing left to give, so what did they plan to take?

Both men took their seats, chair legs scraping against the floor as they scooted closer, and Izzy watched as two mouths descended on his uselessly hard cock.

He had to prop himself up on his elbows so he could watch, breath caught in his throat, while Ed and Stede all but made out with his cock between their lips and tongues.

Ed slid his lips along one side, down to the base, while Stede took the head in his mouth. They licked and sucked together, sometimes glancing up to meet Izzy’s gaze before returning their attention to finding ways to kiss without losing contact with Izzy’s cock.

It was, quite possibly, the most erotic thing Izzy had ever experienced.

He didn’t care that he couldn’t cum from this, or how sensitive his dick was after everything it had been through. It verged on painful when one of them sucked, but they were enjoying themselves almost as much as he was enjoying watching them.

Finally, Ed popped off with an audible, wet sound, and Stede licked a stripe from root to tip. For a moment, Izzy thought they were going to finally kiss unimpeded, but instead, they turned to look at him and smiled.

They descended on him, two gentle kisses to the corners of his mouth, and he realized the scene was over.

“I hope you enjoyed that,” Stede murmured into the soft kiss.

“Hope it wasn’t too much,” Ed said as he pulled back and looked into Izzy’s face with genuine adoration.

It took a moment for Izzy to find his voice after suppressing it for so long. The words came out quiet, but not soft—more like the crunch of autumn leaves under a boot.

“Focking twats.” His lips twitched into a brief smile at the momentary worry that crossed both their faces. “It was the best sex of my focking life.”

Stede let out a shaky breath, almost a laugh. “Oh, I’m so glad to hear that.”

Ed moved to slide an arm under Izzy’s back, the other under his knees, and lifted him up off the table to help him onto his feet, Stede taking up position on his other side to support him.

Izzy shuddered at the sensation of how much he was leaking, but before he could say anything, Stede had pulled a small packet of wet wipes out of his pocket and was already starting to wipe him down.

“Don’t worry, Iz,” Ed said, nosing his temple. “We’ll take care of ya.”

Izzy just stood there, a little shaky as he was gently cleaned and tenderly dressed. Every movement was accompanied by soft kisses all over—his knees, his hips, his shoulders, the small of his back, the curve of his neck.

It was like being put back together again, and he didn’t even realize he needed it until it was done, and he felt whole.

He glanced between both men who stood there, watching, waiting… and his heart swelled.

“Come here,” he muttered, opening his arms with a flush crawling up his neck as Stede and Ed moved in to wrap their arms around him and each other. “Fuck, I—”

There was a moment of vulnerability he allowed himself with his face out of sight, cheek muscles twitching as he fought against a smile and lost.

“Thank you,” he breathed out. “For taking care of me.”

For caring for me.

“M’place is just around the corner,” Ed said, pulling back enough to look at them, grinning. “How ‘bout a proper cuddle? Bed should be big enough for the three of us.”

“Sounds delightful!” Stede tittered a small giggle and tightened his grip on Izzy. “How about it, Izzy?”

A cuddle. Izzy had never considered himself much of a cuddler—more of a fuck and fuck off kind of guy.

But things were different now, with them. With Stede, and with Ed.

Because a cuddle sounded fucking amazing.

So Izzy draped his arms over their shoulders and let his head fall forward to hide yet another smile he couldn’t fight.

“Yeah, okay. Sure.” He glanced up to see them smiling back at him. “But you twats are helping me walk, because my legs are focking wrecked.”

Stede’s expression flickered with concern. “Did we go too far?”

“I already said it was perfect,” Izzy snapped without an ounce of bite in his voice.

“Actually, y’didn’t say that.” Ed grinned so wide it threatened to split his beard apart. “Perfect, huh?”

Stede smiled and reached up to intertwine his fingers with Izzy’s hand resting on his shoulder. “He deserves nothing less.”

As they leaned in to kiss his cheeks, Izzy felt his breath leave him for a moment.

No one could deserve this much, no one could be worthy of such loving worship.

And yet here he was, receiving it. Being drowned in it.

He couldn’t say the words, couldn’t imagine hearing them—not yet—but he felt them in his heart.

All he mumbled was a quiet, "Thank you."

Thank you for loving me.

📚 view a list of all my current stories!

[slashgod]

Content Warning: Light description of violence.

Working Title: Name: Hands

Originally written on twitter. Steddyhands end game. Izzy central.

The first time Izzy hears Bonnet being badmouthed in a bar, he doesn’t think anything of it. He may even have cracked a grin and sent the men an anonymous drink, from his own coin.

The second time it happens, Edward is there too. Edward who is just starting to grow his beard back. Edward who welcomed Bonnet back into his life with a good natured stab and a lot of promises. 

A sensitive Edward, who clenches his fist around his pint, and glares at Izzy.

“You focking hearing this?” He hisses, and Izzy just shrugs one shoulder.

“So they’re talking about Bonnet. None of our business, Edward.”

Before Izzy can raise his own pint to his lips, Edwards hand is circled around his wrist, hard enough to bruise.

“The fock it isn’t. A bad word against Stede is a bad word against me, Iz. So what you gonna do?”

Izzy knows the answer that Edwards wants. Feels it bubbling up in his throat the same way sick might. He swallows it back the same, too. “I’m gonna sit here and have my drink, Edward.” 

The fingers around his wrist tighten impossibly, and Izzy grits his teeth through the pain.

Then it’s gone, and so is Edward. 

Not to gut the men laughing at the ‘pansy Gentleman Pirate’, like Izzy had thought he might. Just out of the bar and into the night. Izzy can only stay long enough to finish his drink, and then he follows. 

The punishment he’d expected never comes.

The third time, Izzy is alone. It’s shore leave, and Edward had pestered him to get some fresh air. Bonnet had pressed too many coins into his gloved hand and asked for a souvenir. Izzy had ended up back at the bar.

There’s a group of men again. Wannabe pirates.

Miscreants who think getting stabbed in a bar crawl is the same as fighting for your life on the ocean.

Having honed his skills of listening as a young man, he wasn’t sure why he was suddenly listening in on them. They didn’t have important info. They were too drunk for anything useful. ‘- pussy Gentleman Pirate, what a focking joke-‘Izzy feels the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, the exact moment he makes a horrible decision that will change the course of his life. He downs his drink, it was warm anyway, and slams it back to the counter.

Only those that know how to spot a pirate have stopped talking. Those that knew of Israel Hands were making quick exits. The idiots behind him were still bitching about Bonnet. 

Izzy stood from his seat, and walked over to them. He made no show of how his hand rested on the hilt of his sword, though no hiding it either. 

“You’ve had enough for one night. Best leave.” He says, all amicably. Something Bonnet had asked him to try before starting a fight. One of them stands, closer to Wee Johns size then to Izzy’s, not that he cares.

He’s taken down bigger, more important men before. 

 ‘Who the fock do you think you are-‘ 

Izzy’s blade is through the idiots jaw and out the top of his skull before he can finish. There is a splatter of blood now on his face, and a few of the patrons scream.

His time here is limited, he knows this. While the bar owners might play nice with paying pirates, they didn’t take kindly to their regulars getting murdered. Izzy’s side blade stabs through the other man’s hand and into the table, just as he makes to leave.

The idiot still alive is begging for mercy, even as Izzy removes his sword from the man’s friend, kicking at the body to make it fall away from him. He briefly examines his blade, and then wipes it along the alive idiots shoulder, to get the blood off.

The strong stench of urine let’s Izzy know that this man isn’t about to forget his encounter with Israel Hands. 

“Now, I asked all polite like. And you didn’t listen. So here is what’s gonna happen. Every time you think of the Gentleman Pirate, or you hear about him, you are going to think of me. And you’re going to remember how I spared your pathetic life. You’re going to spread tales of this. And how fearsome the Gentleman Pirate is.”

“You… you’re…?”

“I’m his First Mate, Israel Hands, and he’s the only man that’s ever bested me in a sword fight. So you’ll remember, or the next time I see you, I’ll be taking your other hand too.”

‘Too?’

The slice is clean, less likely to be infected as long as the idiot got it seen to quickly. Izzy picks up the hand, wipes his blade once more, and leaves before the authorities arrive. He can’t explain why he did it. Bonnet was only one of his captains. It wasn’t even Edwards influence, he thinks, seeing as Edward would have no idea it happened at all. 

By the time Izzy returns to the Revenge, the hand has annoyed him so much that he practically throws it at Bonnet, along with the coin he’d been given too. “Here’s your focking souvenir.” He yells, irrationally, then stomps away.

“Huh.” Edward says, grin splitting his face. 

Stede picks up the hand, admiring the rings. “How lovely. Like a cat leaving it’s owner a dead mouse.”

“Told ya he was warming up to ya.” Edward laughed, poking Stede in his side. “Took me three years to get my first hand thrown at me. You’re doing this courting thing in record time.”

[napneeders]

i'm wheezing at this word counter/text analyser tool that lets you generate summaries or rewrites the text for a selected style/reading level, because obviously all I'm putting in is smut and it's like (excerpt)

Ed is watching and making jokes. Israel is crying and saying bad words, but Stede likes it. He feels powerful and in control.

[izzy-b-hands]

Sillyish hurt/comfort steddyhands thing. TW emetophobia, bad infection to Izzy's foot, mentions of potential amputation.

---

"I don't need your help," Izzy pants. "Never have and never will!"

"Is that so?" Ed scoffs. "Looks like you need my help now!"

Stede peers at the two of them, caught in the rigging and hanging over the side of the anchored ship.

It had almost been graceful.

Izzy had been struggling to walk even with his cane on an aching, infected foot, and had tripped into the coiled rope. It took him over in one smooth yoink.

Ed had shuffled over on his bad knee that he had been icing up until then, and simply tipped over before he could climb over the side. If not for the rope to catch around his knee, he would have been in the sea.

"I'd argue you both need help," Stede offers. "May I?"

"We're fine!" Izzy calls up. "Fuck, I'm dizzy."

"You're upside down, hanging by an infected foot alone," Stede says. "I'd be surprised if you weren't lightheaded!"

"I'm..." Ed hesitates, hissing in pain. "Nah, I got this."

"You do not," Stede says gently.

"We do!" Izzy protests. "Ed, if you just... swing that way, we can grab the...no, hang on I can't think-"

"How long do you think they'd hang like that if we let them try to get free on their own?"

Stede jumps at Jim's voice, suddenly right beside him, flipping a knife into the deck rail while watching the boys below.

"Long enough to really hurt themselves," Stede replies. "As it is, I don't want to hurt them more by yanking up the rope, but I don't see how el-"

"Yeah, that's his plan too, go for it!" Jim interrupts to call behind them, and suddenly it dawns upon Stede that Ed and Izzy are about to be rescued...

And in immense pain.

--

"Roach thinks amputation might be the next best option," Stede murmurs as he brushes the damp hair off Izzy's feverish forehead. "He said he won't let Lucius do the amputation like he did his own finger. Think that was a joke."

Izzy smiles weakly. "I think I'm going to be sick."

He tuts and shoves a bucket in front of Izzy's face as he leans over the first of the three cots pulled into the galley/sick bay.

While Izzy retches, he turns to Ed's cot.

"And you, Mr. I Don't Need To Rest My Knee That Much-"

"I know," Ed grumbles. "Roach said a full week off with gentle movement only. I'll give him a gentle movement alright-"

"No you won't," Stede pats Ed's thigh with his free hand, the other still steadying the bucket for Izzy. "What would that even entail?"

"I don't know," Ed crumbles and winces and curls in on himself, a hand reaching to rub at his bad knee.

"See, you do need the rest, because that was a shit plan," Stede sets the bucket down while Izzy weeps before he turns to plant a kiss on Ed's cheek.

"Yeah," Ed giggles. "Besides, ah, fuck-"

A hand reaches for Stede's and grips it hard.

"Roach said the spasming and pain should slow up as long as you rest and try to be careful with it," Stede soothes. "I'll stay here with you two tonight, okay? I'll read to you, massage that knee of yours, help Roach with Izzy...not an amazing set up with the cot, but Lucius refused to help dismantle the mattress in our quarters and bring it in here, so!"

Izzy wipes tears from his eyes and chuckles. "You didn't actually ask him-"

"I did!"

"Love, no," Ed giggles. "It's in the wall!"

"And it could easily be made to be an out of the wall mattress too," Stede protests as he stands. If he's staying the night as he intends, then he'll need supplies and better to get them now before he settles in.

"You could still try and do that yourself," Izzy suggests, trying and failing to bite back a laugh.

"Shush," Stede smiles. "Without you there to tell me I'm doing it wrong? How could I?"

Izzy shakes his head. "Of course. Forgive me."

"I think I'll manage," Stede says with a gentle pat to Izzy's shoulder. "I'll have enough to carry with the books alone anyway. Any requests?"

Ed and Izzy catch each other's gaze and fall to delirious giggles.

"Ah, that is a vote for Pinocchio, but with Lucius as our little wooden boy!" Stede says. "You know he hates that you two ask him to do that, right?"

"Yeah, but I've been giving him money every time," Ed replies. "To make up for it."

"As have I," Stede says slowly.

Izzy scoffs. "I'm impressed. He's had me making him breakfast at least once every week we have him read that for us. I actually sort of enjoy it now, that time of the morning, with him. Smart little fucker."

"I'll go get him," Stede chuckles. "Ed, why not give me your money for him now and we'll pay him ahead of time. Iz, I'll take over breakfast duties if you're still laid up with the whole potential amputation thing."

"Can you cook?" Izzy asks.

"Of course I can," Stede replies, wondering if Lucius would be fine with jam and marmalade and toast like Ed had in the past. That much he can prepare without having to bother the already stressed Roach.

"Alright," Izzy snuggles back into the thin pillow on his cot. "It's worth it anyway, for the wooden boy voice."

Ed snorts and joins Izzy in chuckling, which turns to giggles and unrestrained laughter in a minute. The only audible words are, occasionally, 'little wooden boy voice.'

"Okay," Stede nods. "You two need more pain relief, I think. I'll go to Roach and see what he can find. Something strong."

They pause, barely, and stare at him in delicate silence.

Only for a moment, before Ed softly says:

"As strong as the little wooden boy!"

They break into peals of laughter as Stede leaves in search of Lucius, giggling at the thought of telling him how his task will be integral to Ed and Izzy's recovery.

[nadsdraws]

First lines game

Thanks for the tag @feraltuxedo !

I'm afraid the majority of my fics are now ofmd so not sure if there's anything you'd be interested in 😅

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway.

Here's mine:

There is something locked in the hold of the ship.

From Riptide [M] - a lowkey edizzy supernatural fic with some horrory vibes and a twist

It’s just another shitty September day in Izzy’s dull, monotonous life.

From September [E] - happy edizzy childhood friends reunion fic with a dash of Ed choosing Izzy over Stede

“We’re here, Iz. We’ve made it. The ocean,” Ed waves his hand in front of the vast body of water in front of them as if in an introduction.

From Knocking on Heaven's Door [T] - an edizzy ficlet - Ed & Izzy find each other at the very end of their lives but that doesn't stop them from enjoying the last moments together

Eden is out cruising like every weekend.

From Princess [E] - happy edizzy getting together fic with transfem Ed and transmasc Izzy

Ed groans, glancing at the script of yet another stupid action movie.

From The Gentleman Unicorn [E] - steddyhands fic with bored action actor Ed, his manager Izzy and their new unicorn Stede

The doorbell to Izzy's flat rings and he promptly answers, as always.

From Piano Lessons [E] - an edizzy age gap fic set at university with professor Izzy and needy student Ed

Izzy leaves his shift late at night, as always.

From Country Roads Take me Home [E] - a cute cjizzy modern au with past edizzy, Jack is a country singer and Izzy works at the bar

Izzy is content, sitting in his favourite chair, eating his perfectly cooked meal in complete silence.

From Where Strawberries Grow [M] - an edizzy ofmd fic set in the Last of Us world (no knowledge of the tv/game is needed)

The first time it happens, Izzy thinks it's going to change everything.

From Different Pulses [E] - an edizzy stripper Ed au containing a lot of pinning, misunderstandings, sexy Ed and a happy ending

As far back as Stede Bonnet can remember, he always wanted to be a biker.

From Open Road [M] - a gentlebeard bikers au with Stede buying a fixer uper bar to insert himself into the bikers community

I've always thought I there are no patterns to my opening lines but the more I look at them the more I see how I like to underline the monotonny and the habits of main characters and starting with their names xD so thanks @feraltuxedo tagging me into this! It was insightful.

I'm gonna tag (if you want to do this, no pressure) @tawnyontumblr @saretton @saz-myhowtheyfly @ewelinakl @sweveris @vexbatch @snae-b @schmirius @redshift-ao3 @starryfull13

[dracothelizard]

My December fic round-up post!

Fics that I published in December:

Neither Ceasing, Nor Desisting, a group work where a bunch of us wrote fics for all the crimes committed by Blackbeard (OR WERE THEY???). I wrote chapter 10, Offensive Semaphore in which Frenchie reveals his scam, because I love a Frenchie scam.

Different Tracks, an Ed/Stede meet-cute for my own Renew As A Crew Tumblr prompt giveaway

Beard Appreciation, an Ed/Sinterklaas ficlet for my own Renew As A Crew Tumblr prompt giveaway

Smoothed Over, a Lucius/Pete ficlet for my own Renew As A Crew Tumblr prompt giveaway, where Lucius and Pete have their own giveaway and cheer Izzy up.

Things Pan Out, a Roach/Izzy fic for the Handsome Fic Exchange Winter 2023, in which Izzy and Roach are snowed in in the Badmintons' chalet and Roach is after fancy pans, warmth, and Izzy. In that order of importance.

Once Bitten, Twice Shy, an Ed/Stede WIP that's a fake dating modern AU where I've only posted one chapter so far but definitely intend to take with me into the new year!

Good Things Come In Threes, a Steddyhands fic for the Canyon Writers' Workshop Exchange, in which Stede and Ed get visited by Ghost of Christmas Past Izzy, who shows them sad and happy Christmas memories and also Stede and Ed invite Izzy to a threeway so Stede and Izzy can doubleteam Ed.

October fic round-up post

November fic round-up post

[andithil]

Title: Dropping Eaves Rating: M Words: 700 Pairings: (Blackbeard) Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet Tags: Israel Hands, Lucius Spriggs, Wee John Feeney, Roach, Black Pete, Eavesdropping, Afternoon Delight, Implied/Referenced Blow Jobs, Teasing, Steddyhands if you squint, Ficlet Summary: Sometimes it's good to slack off.

It's not much, but it's honest work lmao. The crew is eavesdropping on their captains when Izzy comes along to reprimand them. When he realizes what's going on and gets caught by Ed and Stede, they have no shame in teasing him about it. Written as a birthday surprise for a good, old friend who discovered OFMD right before season two dropped.

[fkinkindagauche]

Fic Masterpost

Stranger Things

At the moment, all of my Stranger Things fics are Steddie. If I branch out, I'll add pairing indicators here. Most of my longer fics so far are omegaverse, most of my little Tumblr ficlets are not. Full tags and content warnings are always in the linked post, either on Tumblr or AO3.

Complete Chaptered Fics

Cocoon | Explicit | 36K | Omegaverse and No Upside Down AU with Steve, childfree by choice omega, hiring Eddie, an Alpha escort who helps unpaired omegas through heats.

The Unbearable Horniness of Steve | Explicit | 35K | Omegaverse and No Upside Down AU, O!Steve and A!Eddie, friends helping each other out with boners to lovers.

Someone To Bleed | Explicit | 60K | Steve gets turned into a vampire, sensual bloodsucking hijinks occur.

The Most Gourd-geous Pumpkin in the Patch | Explicit | 45K | Omegaverse and No Upside Down AU. O!Steve, lonely mid-30s teacher and owner of 4 cats finds a note in his door inquiring about his pumpkins.

One Shots

Hot Knife | Explicit | 9K | Omegaverse, No Upside Down, College AU, O!Steve finds his flirtation attempts rebuffed for the first time in his life by a prickly alpha.

Put A Little Love In My Void | Explicit | 2.7K | PWP, Steve is a size queen and Eddie has a real big dick. That's it, that's the plot.

Tumblr-Only Ficlets

How You Turn My World, You Precious Thing | A Ghost in Giant Sneakers | Wild God | Dress Up In You | If You Love Me Right, Then Who Knows? | So Jealous | Slutty Little Mouse | Good Morning | Beware the Suburban Lamprey | Relief | Love Me Better

Other Fandoms

The Locked Tomb/Gideon the Ninth

Show Your Bones | Explicit | 5K | Gideon Nav/Harrowhark Nonagesimus | Gideon Nav works in Aiglamene's used book store, which acquires the liquidated Nonagesimus library at auction following the death of the Reverend Mother and Father. Gideon finds some interesting letters hidden in some of the books, and meets the fascinating Reverend Daughter Harrowhark.

Our Flag Means Death

ain't got time to make no apology | Explicit | 3K | SteddyHands | Izzy really needs a bath, and Ed and Stede need some Izzy.

Lil pink flower dividers by @steddiecameraroll-graphics!

[our-flag-means-death-ao3feed]

you’ve got a little (you could use much more)

by dinoromance89

a non-chronological collection of fluffy ficlets based on the "14 days of romance" prompts by @albusrps, set in the Mobsters & Lobsters AU (Izzy and Ed quit the mob to run a seafood restaurant with Stede, and go to therapy)

all parts originally posted on twitter

Words: 1710, Chapters: 2/6, Language: English

Series: Part 5 of Mobsters & Lobsters, Part 10 of rat man on the bird site

Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M, Multi

Characters: Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Stede Bonnet, Israel Hands, Jim Jimenez, The Swede (Our Flag Means Death), Alma Bonnet, Roach (Our Flag Means Death), Original Characters

Relationships: Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet/Israel Hands, Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Israel Hands

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Organized Crime, Restaurants, 14 days of romance, Vignette, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Mental Health Issues, Therapy, Drugs, Canon-Typical Violence, Cooking, Depression, Blood and Injury, Boys Kissing, Established Steddyhands, Bipolar Disorder, Anxiety, Caretaking

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/44779801

[izzyhandslightofmylife]

peeled an orange today and it gave me a *vision* for @bougiebutchbitch's came back wrong kinda snippet. if you like psychological horror and hated the ending this is for you <3

tw: abuse, past abuse, manipulation

The oranges are always rotten. 

Ed and Stede smiled when he saw for the first time the bowl of decay in their kitchen. You could tell from far away that they were bad- the skin was too loose on the flesh, like if you picked it up,  you could crush the whole thing in your fingers. 

They looked at him with those faraway stares, and told him that they were still good. 

Ed said, airily, “oranges are love. If you peel an orange for someone, it means you love them, you know?” 

As Izzy nodded, Stede’s jaw clenched, and for just a moment, none of them were smiling anymore. He stared at Ed, gestured to the bowl and told Izzy to peel one for him. As the two of them stared at each other, his fingers, still covered in the dirt of the grave, reached for an orange. As gently as he tried, however, the juice leaked onto his palms, getting into the cracks of his hands. He tried to peel away the white part, every lingering bit of skin, but couldn’t. The inside was black and green, mold growing inside, matching with his bruises. 

That’s when something strange happened. 

Izzy remembered. More specifically, he remembered a marmalade, orange, from a long time ago. 

—

Ed was up on the crow’s nest like he used to be when they were younger. They would climb up at night and look at the stars, trying to name them, find constellations, tell their stories. Sometimes, Ed would make up his own, a spark flaring in his eyes as he looked at the sky, the same spark flaring in Izzy when he looked at him. 

Now, it’s morning, and Ed is up there with someone else. He stands, just for a moment, underneath the area that they’re sitting in, and listens for what Blackbeard has to say. 

“This is some damn good marmalade”. 

“It’s the best. Ship’s stores are loaded with it. I had to get rid of some gunpowder to fit it all, but I think it was the right move…”. 

He walks away at that, enraged that this man could still possibly still be breathing. Then, just for a moment, thinks of the Queen Anne and all the weapons in the hold. 

He hadn’t known Ed liked marmalade. 

The next memory comes month afterwards, when he’s missing a leg and a million pieces of his heart along with it. 

Right now, though, he still has glitter on his face in the early morning, voice hoarse from singing, adding cinnamon to his coffee. Right now, he is safe. 

Someone walks in, and for a moment, he thinks it’s Roach, but the gait is softer, and as the figure stills, he knows who it is. Izzy doesn’t want to talk to him, not now, but the he remembers their earlier conversation, Ed looking out to sea as Izzy stared up at him. “Oh, look”, he had said, “you’re talking to me again”. 

Ed is flushed, and after a moment, Izzy realizes that he’s naked except for a robe. He knows what  Ed needs right now, and smirks. 

“Busy night last night?”

A smile unfurls at the corners of his lips, but is replaced quickly by a frown again as he dives for the pantry, rummaging around like his life depends on it. 

“Where,” he murmurs, still looking, “is the fucking marmalade…” 

Izzy sees the food on the tray and realizes why he’s looking. He knows who it’s for, but for all he’s tried, he still wants to help Edward. This is his job. So, opens another pantry above them and takes out the marmalade, holding it in front of his face until he stops and looks up. 

“Oh, thanks, Iz”, he says, smile breaking out and standing up.

Izzy hands it to him and tries to smile back. For just a moment, Ed’s hand lingers, as if he’s going to do something, say something, but then he dashes away as quickly as he came. 

The smell of orange lingers on his hands afterwards. 

–

In the present, his heart burns again, a spark of what it had once been. There’s love, and then there’s the cold of the dirt, and then there’s something there that he’s never, ever, felt towards Ed before, not forgivably, anyway. Anger wells up inside him, and his fingers clench, the rotten slices ground to a pulp in his hand. 

Ed turns to him and sees the mess of rot in his hand. 

“Come on, Izzy”, he groans, “Stop. That’s love you’re holding right there, after all”. 

He says it casually, but behind it, there’s an old hint of force in his voice.  And that’s another toe. 

 Izzy, wrapped up in the past, answers quietly, almost fondly, “fucking twat”. 

Then they both still, and his love is rotten, and he’s fucked up. He already knows what’s going to happen as soon as he says it.

– insert whump scene that I haven't written yet here. Stede has rings and he beats Izzy up I just gotta write that -

Quietly, Stede says, “you can’t call Edward a twat again, Israel. Do you understand?” 

Izzy Israel blinks,  disgust in himself welling up at that. Why would he call Edward a twat? That was something old Izzy did, and old Izzy’s dead, he’s in the past, he’s supposed to be better now, they made sure of it, they saved him. 

How fucking dare someone say that to Edward. How dare that someone be him. 

“I’m sorry,” he says, voice small again. It feels safer than how it’d been before. 

Stede’s face crumples, body relaxing. He takes Izzy in his arms, stroking his hair with his rings still on. It almost makes him cry, being held like that. Stede and Ed were just…kind. Even after he’d hurt them, after they’d hurt him, they held him anyway. 

When Stede pulls away, he shivers, but there’s nothing to say except a quiet thank you. 

“See,” he says, “you can be good, Izzy. Just never, ever, do that again”. 

The rest of the day, he’s quiet, walks around in a haze, juice running down his arms, dripping off of his fingers, love staining his hands like blood. 

He never liked oranges that much anyway. 

[stizzysupremacy]

lmaaao did the tumblr year in review on my main blog and

AND THEN

my top 5 posts are all steddyhands text posts/ ficlets 😂

except my top post which is this one

[kharti]

[ Closing Time #4 ]

      ( first | prev | next )

Stede hummed, the sound echoing off the ceramic tiles of the large shower he stood at the threshold of, one arm extended to test the temperature.

      ( Continue reading on AO3 or... )

Stede hummed, the sound echoing off the ceramic tiles of the large shower he stood at the threshold of, one arm extended to test the temperature.

Izzy, meanwhile, hovered awkwardly in the middle of the bathroom, not sure what to do with himself. Stede seemed so casually confident, like they’d done this before, like this was just another Saturday night together.

His mind replayed the sex over and over—it hadn’t been long, but the unfamiliar passion and intimacy made his skin feel too tight. He shifted from one foot to the other while his insides twisted up and he tried not to think too much about it.

“There we are,” Stede said, looking over at him with a smile. “Shower’s ready. Do you want to go first, or—?”

Izzy ran his tongue along the back of his teeth as he mulled it over, then shrugged one shoulder. “Seems big enough for the both of us.”

He couldn’t lie, at least not to himself: he wanted more of Stede’s touch. It was dizzying to crave something, a little scary, and at the same time… completely exciting.

“Oh!” Stede tucked his chin in toward his chest and gave a cheeky smile. “It certainly is.” He stepped inside and held the door open, blocking the water with his body.

Izzy moved in between Stede and the wall, his skin brushing against the cool ceramic that contrasted with the warm water bouncing off Stede’s shoulder and onto Izzy’s face. They shuffled about for a moment, a bit like two people trying to awkwardly move past each other, until Izzy was the one in the spray and Stede stood in front of him, smiling.

“This okay?” Stede asked, leaning back to rest against the wall. “Not too warm?”

Izzy kept his eyes focused on Stede’s chest hair, particularly where his own cum was still clinging to it. “You’re a focking mess,” he said, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling.

“Oh?” Stede looked down, then laughed quietly. “I didn’t even notice.” He stepped a little closer. “Mind if I—”

Izzy just shifted to the side to give him some of the shower and watched Stede scrub at his chest, watched the evidence washed away with a strange twinge of some emotion he couldn’t quite name.

“All yours,” Stede said as he moved back again.

Izzy didn’t move at first, instead trying to find the words that were lodged in his throat. Fucking was easy, almost a thoughtless thing. But intimacy—

“Mind if I wash you?” Stede asked in a quiet, almost uncertain voice.

Izzy blinked up at him. “Sure,” he tried to reply casually, as if that hadn’t been the very thing he wanted. “If you want.”

Stede smiled wide enough that his eyes crinkled, and he reached past Izzy to grab a loofah hanging from a hook near the shower head. There were three containers affixed to the wall—shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. Izzy watched over his shoulder as Stede pumped a dollop of body wash onto the loofah, then started to gently rub it onto Izzy’s back.

Izzy closed his eyes and just felt. He felt the constant pressure of water pattering his skin. He felt the warmth radiating from Stede like a palpable caress. And he felt, of course, every circle rubbed into him from the loofah, felt the occasional brush of Stede’s thumb or fingernails as he changed angles.

“You’re gorgeous,” Stede whispered, and Izzy felt the words more than he heard them. “I can’t believe you’re here with me, honestly.”

Izzy swallowed and opened his eyes to look up into the earnest smile and soft gaze that were focused solely on him. “You know there’s no need for flattery after we’ve fucked,” he said with no resolution, and the quiver in his voice gave too much away.

He knew Stede meant it. He knew it wasn’t just flattery. And that was both exciting and terrifying.

When was the last time Izzy had let himself be vulnerable with someone? Had he ever?

Stede just smiled and leaned in to brush his lips over Izzy’s temple while his hand continued to move in slow, soothing circles down his back. His other hand came up to rest on Izzy’s hip, and his head tilted to press another kiss to Izzy’s cheek.

A small sound caught in the back of Izzy’s throat, and he tried to distract himself from the way his legs trembled by angling his own head to slot their lips together in the hopes that it’d distract him.

All it did was make him more aware of how soft and gentle and intimate this was. How this wasn’t just hormones and lust and desire. How this was—sincere.

Stede chuckled as he leaned back to break the kiss and gave a cheeky grin. “I’m doing a rubbish job of washing you.”

Izzy almost forgot about the loofah entirely and hadn’t even noticed that it stopped moving. “I’ve had worse,” he said in a quiet, hoarse voice.

Stede’s eyes crinkled with another smile and he redoubled his efforts, his hand moving in broad strokes to spread the soap along his back and arms, then paused when he reached Izzy’s chest and, for a moment, just stared.

“What?” Izzy frowned and glanced down, but didn’t see anything out of the ordinary.

“Sorry.” Stede gave a nervous laugh and hurried to swipe the loofah over Izzy’s chest. “I got distracted.”

Izzy almost dropped it, then thought better of it and dared to ask, “By what?”

Stede paused. He moved his hand in a small circle while he seemed to mull over his answer before finally replying, “Has anyone told you that your chest is—bewitching?”

Izzy choked on a snort. “I’ve never been called that in my life.” And then he frowned, his eyes dipping to his own chest again. “But… sort of, yes. I’ve been told I have a great rack.”

“You do,” Stede said with such sincerity that it almost sounded desperate. “You really do. The—The shape of it is just exquisite.”

Izzy’s frown stayed in place. He didn’t see it, just saw a normal hairy chest. Sure, it did pretty well in a corset, made for good breasts when pushed up, but he was certain that any man’s chest did the same with a tight corset.

“I just want to, well,” Stede continued, laughing under his breath. “As weird as it sounds, I just want to chew on them.”

“Chew on them?” Izzy’s gaze snapped back up. “What?”

“I feel unhinged saying it.” Stede laughed again and swiped the loofah across Izzy’s chest, right over his nipples. “But it’s true. I can’t explain it. There’s just��something about them that makes me have urges I can’t quite explain.”

Izzy closed his eyes to focus on the sensation of the soft spongy material against his skin and the soapy bubbles dripping down his chest and stomach.

Stede’s voice dropped a bit lower. “Would it be all right if I played with them next time?” There was hardly any time for considering an answer before he added, “Assuming there is one. It’s fine if there’s not, I’m sorry if I—”

“Yes,” Izzy cut in, quietly, quiet enough that he wasn’t sure Stede head him at first.

“—presumed…” Then Stede’s voice shifted, and Izzy could tell he was smiling from the sound of it. “Really?”

“Don’t make me repeat myself.” Izzy felt his own smile take hold in spite of his determination to fight it. His eyes opened and he took in the brilliance of Stede’s expression, and it softened his heart. “Yes,” he muttered, trying not to look as smitten as he suddenly felt. “There’s a next time.”

Stede slid the loofah down lower, and Izzy’s stomach twitched at the sensation. There was a quiet moment as Stede put the loofah back on its hook and Izzy turned in the water to rinse himself off before the man spoke up again.

“Are we… dating?” Before Izzy could even form a thought, Stede hurried to continue, “It’s fine if not. I just don’t know the rules, and I want to avoid making assumptions about a world I’m still learning. I’m not suggesting—”

Izzy turned back around to face him, keeping his expression as even as he could. “No, it’s… a good question.” He sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. “It’s a good conversation to have sooner rather than later.”

Stede just swallowed and stared at him like a child waiting to be scolded.

“I don’t do monogamy,” Izzy said, his eyes involuntarily cutting to Stede’s left hand.

“Oh.” Stede’s expression didn’t quite falter, but it did shift to something less scared. “No?”

Izzy shook his head. “I’ve tried it, dedicating myself to one person. It’s… not for me.”

Izzy hoped Stede wouldn’t pry for more information, because there wasn’t more to give. It was like explaining why he preferred men over women, or why he woke up some days wanting to wear a dress.

“Okay,” Stede said, a soft smile breaking across his face. “That’s fine.”

“Is it?” Izzy stepped back to feel more hot water on his skin.

“Of course! Of course it’s fine.” Stede swayed a little closer, but didn’t otherwise move. “I can’t be upset with you for being who you are, as you are.”

This was it, then. Izzy tilted his head back and closed his eyes to let the water run over his face, to keep himself from giving away his feelings in his expression. It had been nice, but—

“Could I meet your other boyfriends?”

Izzy’s head snapped back forward and he blinked rapidly, water in his eyes. “What?”

Stede quickly raised his hands and stepped back. “Is that not how it’s done? Sorry, I’ve never dated this way before, I just thought… it’d be nice to meet them?”

There was a long moment that bordered on awkwardness, and then Izzy sputtered into laughter. He reached up and grabbed Stede’s face with both hands, pulling him down into a kiss that barely counted as one because Izzy couldn’t keep his lips from curling into a grin.

When they broke away, Izzy gazed up at him and swiped his thumb over Stede’s cheek. “You have no idea what you’re doing, do you?”

“Honestly, no,” Stede replied, laughing. “I haven’t really dated anyone besides my ex-wife. I don’t even know what dating means as an adult.”

I meant to me, Izzy thought, but he said instead, “It means whatever you want it to mean.”

Stede’s brow raised. “What if I want it to mean candlelit dinners and beach picnics?”

“Focking hate sand,” Izzy said, tilting his head to let the water hit the side of his face.

“And what do you want?” Stede placed his hands over Izzy’s and squeezed them.

Izzy gave it a serious moment of thought, then said with quiet sincerity, “Room service and hotel room sex.”

Stede’s face lit up with a brilliant, beaming smile. “Oh, what a coincidence. The breakfast here is wonderful.”

Izzy tried not to smile, too. And failed. “I’ll be the judge of that.”

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