#steak debate

[clochanamarc]

but honestly like, the gala dash events were absolutely exquisite. delicious stuff. food for my soul. sometimes there'd be specially made memes for it, other times the photos.hop geniuses would make magazine covers, like the content was divine and i miss it all VERY much, yk? like i just miss when we were able to say "yeah, my muse is working for minimum wage in a deli, but she could definitely afford this fresh-off-the-sewing-table haute couture designer ball gown and a ticket to one of the most fancy events of the year", yk? we just really came into our own during those events and i think we need to do it again to remind ourselves of the fun that was in the rpc once.

[waterbottlqueen]

convinced that the opm sub literally only likes art if its a copied manga panel, of tatsumaki, or non-oc

[sucknizzo]

the plus side of having therapy on Monday is now I'm oh so free tomorrow and I'm kick starting my half weekend by having steak tonight

[ambassadorarlert]

with the US election fast approaching, i’ll be reblogging some political stuff. so if that’s not your jam, feel free to filter out the tags “tw politics , cw politics.” if you’re registered to vote, pls go out and vote if you’re able. it matters now more than ever. 🌴💙🥥

[max-nico]

I always know when I'm too sleep deprived because I end up writing another Minecraft parody. Anyway, you think you the shit? You not even the fart mmore like you need a pick? You can't even farm amiright guys?

[gallusrostromegalus]

If you please; what is your Tolberone theory of knowledge?

My theory, which I thought up a few weeks ago while sick with covid, is that all knowledge is a form of art, and that there are very broadly three basic types of knowledge arts: physical arts, philosophical arts, and scientific arts, and that pretty much all academic, artistic and practical disciplines exist somewhere in that triangle spectrum.

Physical arts are knowledges of how to actually, physically do things. The purest front of physical arts are things like dance and navigation.

Scientific arts are knowledges of things that can be tested and proven. Computer programming and Quilting are both scientific arts: they work, or they don't.

Philosophical Arts are knowledges of things which while not objectively provable, are still very real. History and Being A Good Listener are philosophical arts.

Nearly every discipline of knowledge is some combination of all three. Cooking is largely applied chemistry, a scientific art, but it's also a philosophical art because flavor is extremely cultural and contextual, and a physical art because you have to know how to hold the damn knife and heat when it's done.

The first part of toblerone theory is that, like how each piece has three sides, any given project needs at least one person who has a good grasp of each of the underlying arts involved or it's going to go sideways at best. For example:

Physical and Scientific arts, no philosophy: Jurassic Park. They need someone to point out that, while very possible, it's not necessarily a good idea.

Philosophy and Science, no physical: that dril tweet about the forum debate locked by a mod after 12,000 pages of heated debate. They need someone to drag them away from the keyboard and actually do something.

Philosophy and Physical, no science: that cult in midsommar that put a guy in a bearsuit. Without the ability to engage measurably with the world, they give into fear and behave like reactive animals. Also the "rare chicken steak" phenomenon.

You can have differing ratios of each type- Jurassic Park really only needed two philosophers: one animal behaviorist and an OSHA inspector, and 98% of the issues would have been avoided- but you do need at least ONE of each underlying art to check each other's work.

The second part of toblerone theory is that, like how the toblerone is made of many triangle pieces, there are poles to the triangle spectrum. Practical vs Esoteric arts. Short term and long term arts. High stakes vs for funsies arts.

While you have have different ratios and levels of expertise in each of the arts, you do all need them to be on the same piece of the bar, or they won't take each other seriously. A UN Diplomat and a climate scientist aren't going to take the advice of physical artist my uncle Bobby the plumber re: global warming, but they will take the advice of physical artist my Aunt Cheryl the civil engineer, a world expert in getting shit done.

The same applies for the other end of the spectrum. Aunt Cheryl the civil engineer isn't going to get much milage with the local high school student council and principal Waley when the problem at hand is "what are we going to do for this year's prom theme?"

I gotta go to therapy now, pictures later.

[sentient-stove]

He could already see how that conversation would go over. Danny would go ‘hey, sorry me and my parents killed one of your adopted wards, twas an accident really, some twat of an investor turned on the ecto-collider while he was standing in it and Timothy got fried with enough radiation to mutate a steak back into the cow. Oopsies.’

And then Bruce mcFucking Wayne would throw him in Blackgate for murder before Danny got the chance to explain that hey, no, the guy isn’t dead, the Fentons just accidentally turned another teenager into a half dead abomination yippee. Pack it up cause the government absolutely loved the concept of debating if it was vivisection or dissection when cutting open a halfa. Mr. Wayne was pretty wealthy though so maybe Tim wasn’t gonna have to worry about the finer definitions on vivi vs dissect? Rich people paid off the government all the time, there was a reason why people like Vlad and Lex Luthor got away with so much bullshit.

He prodded the body with a foot. Tim did not so much as twitch.

There was the slow pulse of a core though, slower than the mock heartbeat that Danny’s core liked to hover at, and Tim did appear to be breathing- as much as a half dead person could- so Danny wasn’t too concerned about the unconsciousness quite yet. Once Mom was back with the Ecto-Dejecto then they could stick Tim and he’d be about as right as acid rain. Minus the whole,, traumatizing death and all that.

[solitude4chiron]

Hobie Headcannons cs some of y’all be treating this man like he’s some white goth nga that’s never had black experiences 😭😭 these are js off the top of my head so don’t tweak out… JUH VIBE

He’s most likely Jamaican/British or African/British because he’s from the UK

He has had multiple people try to force him into playing basketball at least once because he’s 6’5

“Man, so you telling me you ain’t never tried going D1?”

“Never even played.”

“NIGGA WHAT?”

Has gotten his hand popped multiple times from touching his hair while getting it done

“How many do you have left?”

“Boy move that damn hand.”

Gives horrible advice then says “but I don’t kno, thats just me”

“She cheated on me bru. Like cheated. Called me ON FACETIME while they was hunchin.”

“Me personally I would find the guy and start a gas leak in their house while his family is sleeping. But ion kno, that’s just me tho.”

Played soccer as a kid with a makeshift paper soccer ball

Was one of those kids who were forced to finish their plate before leaving the dinner table so he would sit at the table till the next day playing with his food

Illegally listens to and downloads most of the music he likes

“Wanna do a Spotify blend?”

“Y’all use that shi?”

“who df are you bro…”

Will side eye you till you burst out laughing if you both see something crazy in public 

Sung chi-chi man religiously as a child before he knew what the song meant (iykyk)

Takes pictures of white people with braids or locs

Hobie: Attachment: 1

disgusting creatures…

Hangs trash bags on his doorknobs around the house

Had entire debates as a child with older people at the cookout on why he should be able to eat ribs instead of hotdogs

“These steaks for the adults, go grab a lil hotdog and a juice.”

“But why? Can’t we both eat and enjoy the same things without you having to dehumanize me and view me only as a child without preferences for food?”

“Boy go get that fuckin hotdog and caprisun get out my face.”

Had his hairline pushed back astronomically far when he was little (Nigerian boy canon event)

On the other hand he probably never had his hair cut as a kid and started free-forming when he was young (I’m conflicted between both)

Constantly had a smart mouth as a kid (he still does), like CONSTANTLY. Once he got his lips snatched and balled into a fist

Would steal, get caught and say is “it cause I’m black?”

“Yo, were you stealing back there?”

“Why bruv? Cause I’m black?”

“Nevermind.”

Touches hot ass food with his bare hands. Like he will flip pancakes with his hands.

Can literally sleep anywhere.. like anywhere. People in his band have pictures of him hunched over on sinks, sleeping on bathroom floors, in bathtubs with the curtains wrapped around him, on the bus. Anywhere you can think of.

He doesn’t spend much money on birthday gifts or gifts in general. He likes to make things by hand even if he has to spend a few weeks

After his shows he loves to meet people in the crowd, even if they freak out. He isn’t really for the idolizing so he doesn’t know how to express his emotions too much on that.

“OH MY GOD HOBIE!?!”

“i aint think i was that special but thanks luv”

• His jacket makes HELLA noise and he doesn’t realize it. Just like if he had beads in his hair.

“imma get bro good this time..”

“Hobie don’t even try to scare me, i hear that big ass jacket thumpin down the hallway.”

• The first time he kissed a girl with lip piercings like his, they got caught on each other. They sat there for almost half and hour trying to untangle each other without hurting each other.

• He’s definitely been called a few different celebrities before, none really looked like him.

“Are you playboi carti?!”

“Bruv.”

over.

“Your that rockstar dude lancey right?”

“bru…”

and over.

“you Opium?”

“I’m starting to feel this is lowkey sterotypical…”

and over again.

• When he’s in the pit at concerts he looks out for the younger people towards the front to make sure they don’t get thrashed around too hard.

“you good young’n?”

“I CANT FEEL MY FACE”

“that’s cool too”

• He only really steals from big corporations, not small family owned places. Just out of respect. Even when they say he can take things for free he still pays, maybe a few dollars over budget.

• He loves collecting trinkets and little things he finds on the streets or backstage. He has multiple spoons, buttons and scrap fabrics laying around

• When he first learned about capitalism he realized it everywhere, like EVERYWHERE. That boy was pissed.

• He loves girls who can beat him tf up, like whoop his ass. Or girls who will cuss him tf out. Sometimes you both will be arguing and he’ll just sit back and let you go off on him.

anyways yawl that’s it lmk if I should drop some more this was fun asl to make 😛

[weixuldo]

Out Back

Linecook! Anakin x F!Reader

a/n: lol this literally took me so long I’m so sorry!! But I’ve been craving a lil modern ani WORKING MANNNN anyways hehe here it is.

NSFW mdni!

Anakin is in a mood and you intend to get to the bottom of it

Warnings: gn!reader, cursing, banter, hand job, unprotected sex, cum, outdoor sex, almost getting caught, anakin is a moody brat

________________________

“Yea- I got it!” Anakin annoyedly shouted through the window for the nth time as waitresses flew through the kitchen shouting changed to orders- changes Anakin had to fix. 

More char, too rare, more seasoning, no tomatoes in the salad, parm crust

Anakin was more irritable than normal today for some reason but no one could quite pinpoint why. He was usually a flirty “know it all” but today everyone was walking on eggshells around him. 

He brushed his sweat sheened forehead against the sleeve of his black t-shirt before continuing to flip the line of steaks in front of him. He wasn’t the only one in the kitchen, but today he was working with a bunch of newbies and he was struggling to correct their mistakes while keeping up with demand. 

“Shit! Watch where the fuck you’re going!” Anakin yelled when one of the new cooks crossed over from the salad station to the grills without letting the others know. 

“Say behind if you’re gonna be crawling around people- Fuck!” Anakin shouted angrily. 

The other cook bit his tongue and nodded like a puppy that had just been scolded for chewing on the furniture. 

The manager had been watching Anakin’s increasingly bad mood and was debating stepping in. 

You arrived for your shift 15 minutes early, just like always and headed to the POS station to clock in. Your manicured nails clicked against the greasy screen before logging you in. 

“Finally- Bout time you got here, rush has been killin’ us today” Hera said in passing as you tied your server's apron around your waist. 

“What do you mean “finally”?! I worked night shift and had to stay to help Ahsoka close til 1 am and I’m still 15 min early” you half laugh- half snapped back at the older server. 

You passed by the food window to see if a certain someone was working; lo and behold he was. Anakin always looked so focused when he was in the kitchen, you could say that after months of observing the slight furrow of his brow when mixing the salads or when his tongue peeked out of the side of his mouth when he was plating dishes to run. 

But what you noticed most of all was his alluring appearance; to you, it seemed he should be on the cover of a magazine rather in a small dingy kitchen in the back of some random restaurant in the city. 

His angular face and sharp features had every new waitress fawning over him- and of course he flirted right back; no one knew his relationship status but one could only guess he had none. 

When you first applied, he flirted with you during your interview before being swatted away by your manager. You left feeling as if you were special based on how he acted. 

But once you actually started working there you heard all the rumors. He had gotten with most, if not all of the other waitresses (even some of the married ones). The other woman warned you not to get too attached because he never stayed in one place long and was seemingly scared off by commitment or anything other than maybe a two time hook up. 

That wasn’t really your thing so you decided not to get involved at all- of course you still flirted with him, but you kept the extent of that in the kitchen. 

“Hey hotshot- how’s rush serving ya?” You joked through the window as you grabbed the newest salad to run to table 10. 

Anakin had been so focused that he barely registered anyone was even in front of him but once he picked up on your sweet voice his head snapped up. 

He was about to respond in his normal flirty manner but then he remembered what had him in such a bad mood in the first place… you. 

Servers get discounted meals if they come in on their days off and the last time he worked it just so happened that you were not. When he overheard the other girls talking about your appearance he was going to go out and chat it up- that was until he saw you sitting across from another man. 

From further observation he deducted that it wasn’t a cousin or brother, nor was it a long term friend… you were on a date. And Damn did you look good.

Anakin was no stranger to the fuck boy lifestyle and keeping a nonchalant attitude about others; but something about you sitting there with someone else struck a chord in him. 

He realized that the past few months of “flirting” with the new girl had turned into actual pining.

As much as he hated to admit it- he was attached. 

At first he chalked the unfamiliar feeling of desire to being annoyed that you weren’t falling for his normal tricks that worked on everyone else.

But then he actually spent more time with you; accompanying him for his smoke breaks out back, complimenting him on his precision and skill in the kitchen, when he drove you home when your car was in the shop… 

Somewhere in between all of that he found himself really wanting something more than just a hookup with you. And everyone in the kitchen could tell, except you. 

He never flirted with anyone else when you were around and kept his other comments to a minimum even when you weren’t there. He stopped answering any of the late night texts asking for him to come over from other waitresses (causing a few to quit). 

The other cooks in particular noticed how much he blushed when you entered the kitchen- and no, that much redness was not just caused by the heat of the grill. 

All of his suppressed feelings came to a head when he saw you smiling away in that booth yesterday with a guy that wasn’t him. 

“Fine.” He grumbled out to you as he tossed up the next plate to the window. 

You took his cold response as him just being tired and swiftly ran the food. 

Once you came back he had moved to the grill station with his broad back to you.  

A bit odd- Anakin never gave up an opportunity to talk to you. But whatever, he was just in a mood. 

The rest of the day went by with the normal rush but once the clock hit 4:00 pm, you clocked out to take your break. You passed the cooks area on the way to the back and didn’t see Anakin, he must be on his break too. 

Instead of sitting on your phone, scrolling through your friend’s posts- you set out to find the sandy haired cook. There really were only two places Anakin would be on break: the bathroom or out back to smoke a cig; the latter being more likely. 

The cool fresh night air was a relief compared to the stuffy hot kitchen that you had been running around all day. Without having to even look over you could already smell the tell tale smoke of Anakin’s Lucky Strikes. 

You approached the moody cook quietly and took a seat next to him on top of the transport crates. 

“Finally found you- have you been avoiding me, hot shot?” you joked, using a nickname you had been calling him since you knew that the flirting wasn’t anything to read into with him. 

He took a long drag before exhaling the smoke out of his nose and slowly turning towards you. 

“No but if I were trying to, it obviously didn’t work,” he said coldly. 

Maybe he actually was upset…

“What's going on with you today Anakin?” you asked, genuinely concerned. 

“Since when do you care?” he snapped, making you instinctively pull back. 

He noticed your aversion towards his words and immediately cursed himself; he took another drag and hung his head. 

“I-I just wanted to check on you… but I’ll leave you alone now” you said solemnly as you stood from your place beside him. 

Before you could get your hand on the door he called out your name, making you turn to see him looking straight at you. 

“What Anakin?” you sighed, no matter his attitude you just couldn’t get rid of the soft spot you had for him (maybe deep down you still liked him). 

He took a deep breath and put his cig out on the side of the crate he was sitting on. Was he really about to reveal the real reason he was being so dramatic? God, how embarrassing. 

“Friday… who was that guy you were with?” 

It took you a minute to even remember who he was referring to but once you did you groaned and hid your face in your hands.

“That’s my best friend’s older brother- he’s been trying to get with me since I was a sophomore in high school”.

Anakin felt his heart skip (now he was really embarrassed).… He didn’t fuck up his chances, but he needed to act quickly- that was too close. 

You cringed at the memory of the date until you realized why Anakin would have asked that in the first place and a playful smirk found its place onto your face: “But why do you ask?”.

“Cause I want you” he said, eyes filled with passion. 

Wow. You really weren’t expecting him to be so forward. 

“Well you want everyone” you brushed it off with a light laugh.

“No. Not like this.” He could feel his body heating up- he hadn’t genuinely confessed to anyone in ages nor had he wanted someone so bad. 

“What are you talking about Anakin?” you asked shyly as he guided you back to your place beside him. 

“Ever since you walked through that door on your interview day… I just can’t get you out of my mind and I just…” he trailed off before looking back down at his calloused hands. 

“Do you say that to every girl who doesn’t immediately fall for you?” you scoffed as you shook your head. 

It sounded so cliche and honestly you weren’t convinced. But maybe it was also because you were realizing how much you wanted him… you just couldn't afford to be hurt. 

“I’m being serious- and no… I don’t” he said seriously- he was deeply regretting the persona he had been assigned with. 

Anakin watched anxiously as you sat quietly, lost in thought. Eventually he had a juvenile idea (but it might just work), he pulled out his phone and went back to a text conversation he had with his best friend, Ben Kenobi, and showed you the screen. 

You’ll be fine Anakin, about time you actually get your feelings in check

What do u mean?

I just mean it has been awhile since you’ve actually shown genuine interest in someone

…

Exactly. 

Once you scanned those he took the phone back and scrolled further down. 

Fuck Ben, I feel like i’m losing my mind I cant stop thinking abt her. 

Anakin, just ask her out.

Dude, its not that simple… like she thinks I’m just a fuckboy, idk every time I try to get more serious she just brushes it off- It just sucks cause I’m the one that made this image of myself

You know I cannot lie to you, you did. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t fix it now. 

You really didn’t know what to say… he seemed really genuine. In a way you felt a small bit of joy that he had been in his head about you because he had been doing to same to you. 

“Anakin… I really don’t know what to say?” You mumbled softly. 

“Say you’ll give me a chance- say you feel the same-“

His vulnerability was endearing and something in you just felt he was truthful and quite frankly, you did feel the same. Anakin watched with bated breath as he scanned your face for any sign of answer. 

His lips parted as he was about to ask another question when you grabbed his face and pulled him into a deep kiss. 

His blue eyes widened once he realized what you had done, but soon closed them in contempt, desperately returning the passion. 

You were about to break away when he pulled you into his lap without breaking the kiss, his experience was definitely evident now. 

Soon he stood and motioned you to wrap your legs around his waist as he took you behind the shipping containers so that you weren’t directly in the line of the door. 

He held a strong hand behind your head as he pressed your back against the brick wall and began to move his kisses downwards. 

“Oh Ani” you moaned as he nibbled and sucked the most sensitive parts of your neck. 

He felt his dick twitch at the nickname, “Fuck, call me that again beautiful” he groaned into your neck as you raked your fingers through his sandy locks. 

“Ani-“ you gasped as he pressed his muscular thigh right against your throbbing core. 

“Ride it, babe” he huffed through his nose. 

And ride it you did. He knew just what angles to move his leg to make it the most pleasurable for you. 

You worked your clit against his tight muscles and felt your panties becoming soaked. Whimpers and pathetic mewls escaped your throat each time he tensed. 

Anakin could hardly contain himself as he watched the scene in front of him unfold. The way your smaller hands pawed at his biceps, the way your cute little thighs tensed around his much larger one, your absolutely beautiful expressions- after imagining what you would look like for so long, none of his fantasies compared. 

Soon his attention was pulled back to the present when he felt one of your eager hands tugging off his leather belt. Oh shit- this is really happening.

“My God Ani” you gasped once you pulled his jeans down enough to see his straining erection. 

He had on basic black briefs but what wasn’t basic was his size. Of course in the past you had imagined what he might look like outside of work (or outside of clothes) but none of that could have prepared you for the reality. 

“What?” he asked with a confident tone. 

You halted your movements on his thigh to really focus on what you were seeing. His rock hard member throbbed in anticipation of your soft touch; a small wet patch formed around his tip. The sight mesmerized you; you couldn’t count how many times you had imagined how he would look and finally… you were about to find out. 

“You can touch it, you know,” he said, tilting his head slightly. 

Of course you wanted to touch it- you wanted to touch him more than anything, but suddenly you were feeling shy. What if he had better in the past? What if you weren’t good enough for his liking and he took everything back?

Anakin must have noticed your wonder and hesitation because he guided your smaller hand towards his clothed cock with a smile, “it’s alright, you don’t have to be shy”. 

Once your warm palm wrapped around the thinly clothed member, Anakin sucked in a sharp breath and closed his eyes- his cock throbbed in your hand as you tested the waters by sliding your palm against the fabric. 

When you felt you were ready, your fingers creeped up towards the elastic waistband and nimbly gripped the edge. You watched intently as every drag of your finger revealed more and more of Anakin’s tanned skin until a few wiry hairs appeared and finally his fully erect cock popped out from its confines. Anakin gasped as his cock slapped the side of your hip. 

You wasted no time wrapping your hand around him and running a gentle thumb over his slit. Soon Anakin shoverd your bottoms off as well and began running his skilled fingers between your folds. He was mesmerized by you and couldn’t decide where to look; your hands pumping his long member, his hands between your shaky thighs, or your pretty face twisted in pure ecstasy. 

You couldn't take it any longer, you needed to feel him- feel every vein, every groove, every pulse-

“Anakin, need you in me” you whimpered into his ear as you rested your head in the crook of his neck. 

Anakin thought briefly about the possibility of security cameras catching the two of you, but he figured if they were working- they had already seen enough to know what was about to happen. 

“Fuck it” he muttered before flipping your around and lining himself up with your dripping heat. In one swift movement, he entered you and moaned at the feeling of your tight, gummy walls enveloping him. He thrusted in and out of your hole with wild ferocity as he chased his long awaited high. But once you began lifting your hips to angle him deeper, he lost it. 

“Fuck- Fuck!” he swore while he braced himself against the wall with one hand to regain his composure. 

His thighs trembled as he reluctantly pulled out of you and flipped you around to face him; never had ANakin looked so focused- not even in the kitchen. Suddenly he slammed you back down onto his cock with a guttural moan when the back door busted open and your very frantic manager called out, “Skywalker, you back here?! We need ya back on the line”. 

Anakin grit his teeth and buried his face into your neck to let out a few more grunts before clearing his throat and exclaiming, “Yea- sorry, lemme just put out my cig”.

You struggled to keep quiet as Anakin’s skilled fingers worked your clit as you bounced on his dick. When he deemed you too loud to stay discreet, he placed an uncalculated hand over your mouth in an attempt to silence you. 

“Alright- just hurry it up” your manager yelled before rushing back in. 

Anakin barely had time to turn his head back to you before you took one of his slender fingers into your mouth, sucking and sliding your tongue around it as you made intense eye contact. 

“Ohh fuck” Anakin groaned under his breath before his beautiful blue eyes rolled back. 

And with a particularly tight spasm of your core, he felt himself letting go- 

“-m gonna- I’m gonna cum… shit- I’m gonna cum” he babbled as he jetted in and out of you in his final stretch. 

“P-pullout? D’ya need- need me to pull out?” he whimpered in desperation- if you didn’t give an answer soon, he wouldn't be able to help but cum inside. 

You nodded your head, partially expecting him to be annoyed with you, but he just nodded and quickly halted his movements and effortlessly lifted you off of him. Anakin’s eyes darted between your lower stomach, pussy, eyes and ground as if to ask where he should finish. You signaled to your stomach because that would be the easiest to clean up. Once he got your answer he almost immediately came; ropes of his warm, thick seed landed on your soft skin causing you to tense at the sensation. Anakin pumped his dick a few more times before leaning into you with labored breaths. 

“Holy shit” he breathed, causing you to laugh a little. 

Once his high washed over him and he stood without being dizzy he kissed you- “I’m so sorry I made a mess, I’ll clean you up with my apron”. 

He searched your eyes for just a moment before saying, “I know we got cut short and I'm so sorry that I have to go back in, but you should meet me after work so we can have all of the time in the world”. 

You smiled at his words and kissed him again as he cleaned up his spend. 

“And next time I'll take you on a proper date… I’m sorry our first time was out back- I fully intend on making that up to you. So what'd ya say? Give me another chance?” he said with a genuine smile. 

“Of course Ani- of course I will” 

***

Hope that was enjoyable for I guys haha- ik I liked it ;) also sorry again for my long wait periods 😭

[echantedtoon]

SEDUCTION: UPPER/LOWER MOONS

You try to seduce your demon husband/wife as a means to get outside or distract him enough to get what you want.. However it does the exact opposite of what you aim for.

Warnings for Douma/Karaku/Enmu being their own warnings, possibly some innuendos.

Daki and Zohakutan are mentioned but only PLATONICALLY!!

I'm having a lot of fun writing these scenarios.

You were tired of this now

A you wanted was to go outside for a few hours enjoy the sun or the beautiful night sky full of stars for a little while. But every single time you asked it was always variations of the same answer.

"No. It's too dangerous during these times. You're much safer with me." or "What if a slayer finds out your husband/wife happens to be a demon?! You think they'd spare your life?! They'd kill you on the spot without hesitation!" or "Alright but I'm going with you. It's not up for debate."

This you were never truly able to get a moment to yoursel. Don't get you wrong. You loved your husband/wife to death and would do anything for them! You knew what you signed up for when marrying a demon and right now was a tense time for their kind. But you just wanted FIVE MINUTES ALONE WITHOUT HIM/HER HOVERING OVER YOUR SHOULDER OR CHECKING ON YOU EVERY FIVE MINUTES!!

Although maybe you'd have a solution-

"Try seducing him/her!"

You choked on the green tea and coughed a few times staring at your cousin like she was crazy. Currently you sat in your family home wanting to visit them. Of course your husband/wife insisted on coming too and thus dawned a human disguise to visit his/her in-laws. Right now he/she was having a pleasant conversation with your father discussing the more efficient ways to hunt between a bow and Arrow and a new invention called a gun. They seemed actually interested in the conversation so they didn't notice the talk you had with your cousin venting to her about your husband's/wife's overprotective nature. However you weren't planning on those words to come tumbling outta her mouth with a cheeky smirk.

"Excuse me?!"

"You heard me. How do you think I got a rich husband who spoils me?"

"My husband/wife isn't that shallow. A-And that'll never work!"

"Look. You tried everything from bargaining to fighting right? Why not give it a shot? Flattery will sometimes get you somewhere despite what they say."

...Well she did have a point. Nothing you had tried so far had worked, maybe a little bit of flirtation and flattery would work. And your cousin's right. There really wasn't anything to lose since at most he/she would just be amused or annoyed at your actions and spouses flirted with each other all the time. So next time your husband/wife left for 'work' you decided to kick it into over drive.

When your husband/wife returned later two days at night. The home was unusually quiet and dark but he/she detecting no one else around and senses that you were still moving around inside so they assumed you were probably in the middle of going to sleep. They just let themselves in as always sliding the door open but paused eyes widening. The house was completely spotless, not that it was dirty in the first place, but it seemed as if Even the ceiling was polished. A trail of red and pink petals leading away from the door and towards the kitchen where he/she already found a table of fresh raw steak waiting for them lit by candlights.

Needless to say his/her brow rose. Ok. You definitely wanted something because it wasn't your anniversary or any special occasion.

"Y/n, I'm home!", he/she called from the kitchen doorway.

They await hearing your footsteps but are surprised when you turn the corner and are dressed up to the nines. A beautiful patterned flowing Kimono and make up to match as you stand there nervously before attempting to look sultry at them..but it just makes you look nervous.

"O-Oh. I didn't hear y-you come in." They hear the stutter in your nervous look as you attempt to strut, tripping over the kimonos folds and falling on your front, only to quickly scramble back up onto your feet and place a hand on the wall next to him/her with a seductive(hilarious looking and nervous-) grin. "But I-Im glad y-y -you're back! Do you like the surprise? I w-worked solo ha-hard on it just for YOU."

Eyes slowly blink at your already sweating face looking you up and down. Slowly blinking and then your finally get their answer-

KOKUSHIBO:

Six eyes slowly blink one after another at you looking you up and down ... before he sighs briefly closing his eyes and shaking his head. Your smile disappears as he just continues shaking his head no at you.

"This ..will not work on me. You should know better than that..However."

You let out an adorable squeak as a finger and his thumb tilts your head up towards his leaning form.

"I can not complain about the gesture. Go change into something you won't trip over and we'll have dinner together."

DOUMA:

He waits until your smile disappears completely after you get nothing but one of his famous Big eyed stares from him. It's only then that he giggles and a second later you're snatched up into his arms with a squeal.

"Oh my. Is this for me?~ How generous of my little wife to surprise me with such a beautiful display. You wouldn't mind if I just jump straight to desert would you?~"

You gulp when he leans in to affectionately rub his forehead into yours with a growl sounding an awful lot like a purr.

You had a feeling this backfired-

AKAZA:

"...PFFT- HAHAHA!"

You're taken off guard when Akaza just doubles over in loud laughter ringing off the walls and filling the house. He can't help it. When you fell over your dress and then got back up to try and seduce him was the funniest thing he's ever seen! Your cute pout was also not very convincing to him.

"I-Im sorry! Hehehehe! It's just when you tried acting like an oiran-..HAHAHA! I swear I love this Bu-But you looked so cute trying to se-seduce me! *snort*"

"Well then you can clean up all the petals yourself and sleep in the basement!"

He wheezed as you cutely stomp away as he holds up a hand.

"N-No! Wait! You are adorable I promise!"

HANTENGU+CLONES:

You're surrounded by your husbands all giving you mixed reactions to your display..it was not what you expected. The first one to speak out was Urami who immediately pointed towards your bedroom.

"Go change into something decent, Woman! What are you thinking dressing up like that?!"

Sekido and Aizetsu are speechless. Staring at you wide eyed and red faced because you looked so pretty but Sekido eventually yanked you away from Karaku. Urogi just sat on the floor laughing loudly when you fell and Hantengu sneakily went into the kitchen to eat all the food before anyone noticed. Only Karaku really reacted by growling out and pulling you into a hug as Zohakutan mentally gags in disgust inside Sekido.

"Why waste such a once in a life time opportunity such as this?~ And after she went through all the trouble.~"

You proceeded to get yanked away by Sekido who lectured you with Urami on proper wear.

GYOKKO:

He doesn't respond to you at first only continuing to stare at you from his pot before his entire face scrunched up scrutinizing your outfit.

"What are you WEARING?!" He asked in such a way that made it like he stepped in goop.

"Um...A oiran's attire?"

"Well first of all that is definitely not your color! Secondly it's too large for you! An oiran's beautiful gown is supposed to flow behind them on the breeze of their footsteps. NOT MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A TODDLER PLAYING DRESS UP WITH HER MOTHER'S ROBES!! And that hairstyle is totally wrong-...You know what? Cancel dinner! I'm going to teach you the proper art of dressing like the beautious women."

Turns out he's more offended by the fact that your wardrobe is a mess than you actually trying to reduce him and it got you a six hour half lecture half dress up session from the demon.

NAKIME:

Her eyebrow raises looking you up and down for a moment before glancing back at how much effort you put into everything before sighing.

"You could just ask me instead of going through all the trouble."

"You don't like it?"

"I do but just dinner would have been fine. Seeing you make a mess of our flower garden is just irritating."

Her hand motions to the flower petals on the floor and you feel embarrassed how she knew you practically destroyed your garden.

GYUTARO(+PLATONIC DAKI MENTIONED):

Gyutaro.exe has stopped working. His eyes go wide open, jaw slacked, and his entire face turns the deepest red. Meanwhile Daki is giving you a thumbs up from around the corner. Nothing like bribing your sister-in-law to help you dress up to impress her brother.

"What D-Do you think? Pretty huh?.....Gyutaro?"

"P-Pretty."

"Thank you. N-Now about dinner-"

"Pretty."

"Yes. I-"

"Pretty."

"Hun-"

"Pretty-"

Turns out you completely broke his brain seeing his already pretty wife dress up so attractively.

KAIGAKU:

His mind honestly blue screens for a long moment looking you over and over...A pink hue covers his face as his pointed ears pin back to his head. He has to forcibly turn his head away and pretend interest in the food to avoid you seeing the fluster on his face. His voice sputters and he quickly covers it by shoving the raw steak into his maw...but the pink tips of his ears aren't fooling you. Although maybe you did go too far because he doesn't communicate with you until you change back because he won't allow you to see his face.

HAIROU:

He doesn't say anything about it for a long time only looking at you up and down as you nervously still smile awkwardly up at him... Before he clears his throat and calmly takes off his cape before plopping it over your shoulders.

"The surprise is-...I-I-Its nice bu-bu-but you shouldn't have."

He really likes it however and the blush on his face is not helping him to hide how he really feels.

KYOGAI:

He asks you if you're ok from falling over and once you confirm that you are ok he just silently staring at you for a long while before he slowly turns inhumanly slowly towards the candlelight dinner before back to the rose petals on the floor. Before his bottom lip wobbled and honest tears start falling from his eyes as a sob escaped his throat.

"I-I lov-v-ve you so much!"

He's overwhelmed by the fact you'd do something so romantic just for him and he's crying out of happiness. Give him a second. He'll kiss you after but first he needs a second to blabber about how much he loves you.

ENMU:

You don't get time to react before he was upon you. Giggling like a mad man before wrapping his arms around you and pulling your squeaking form against his chest and leaning so close that you can feel the warmth of his breath on your face.

"Oh darling.~ You could've just told me you felt lonely.~ Going through all this trouble..But I admit, I find you rather ravishing.~"

Maybe you should've just stuck to dinner-

[sugar-grigri]

Miri does the chair as much as Denji

The chapter confirms the suffering of the hybrids who turn out to be the "weapons" (thank you Fujimoto for confirming at least one of my theories).

But let's go into a bit more detail in this chapter, which only talks about alienation and never about freedom.

What better title than 'A Chair's Feelings', which is a perfect antithesis.

I have the feeling that something specific has happened, let me explain.

Firstly, Fumiko Mifune plays her role as Denji's guard perfectly. She's not protecting him as a person but as the property of the public hunters.

How does she do this? Firstly because she sticks to Denji, but more importantly she seriously disrupts the discussion between Denji and Sugo.

Every time Miri puts an advantage on the table, she questions it. A high position in the church? Chainsaw Man deserves to be guru.

Steak every day? We're getting tired of it, other dishes would be preferable.

The public hunters represent the opressor who uses Denji as a tool. In other words, the entity that Miri is trying to remove Denji from.

But what's particularly interesting is that Miri doesn't demonstrate free will and spits out someone else's arguments.

What's even more fascinating is that Miri thinks he's going to convince Denji with his own arguments, which turns out to be in vain.

Miri seems like someone who operates on principle and has taken on board concepts such as dignity and freedom, which he now intends to protect. Denji doesn't think like that; he needs concrete arguments to engage him.

For example, Miri presents Denji as his liberator. This has no effect on him, as he was unaware of it because it was Pochita who was fighting. Once again, we're projecting onto the figure of Chainsaw Man the image we'd like him to represent here: the first weapon to free himself from the oppressor that was Makima.

But Miri is far from imagining that not only was Denji not conscious, but that he consciously 'saved' Makima by allowing her to become a new version of herself who would be cherished and loved. Because Makima was never the oppressor, she was merely the object of the Japanese government, which surely also used a few weapons.

That's why I think Miri's way of presenting himself is a step backwards. I don't know if it's intentional, but the way his name appears in the dialogue bubbles and the suspension points…… The syntax is important. Miri knows that his name is just a number given to him by his former oppressor.

In fact, that's why he calls Fumiko "sushi-woman" or refers to the students as rubbish; he doesn't think of them as they never thought of him.

Sugo has no intention of forming a relationship with the humans, whom he seems to reject, which clearly shows that weapons are used by humans, not demons.

But Denji grimaces when he sees that he is so easily popular and integrated, and that he would prefer to be rejected.

Miri rejects humans, wanting only to make friends with weapons, while Denji continues to define himself only by humans. One holds a grudge and wants revenge, while the other still prefers integration. Which already demonstrates a fundamental difference.

Swordman's arguments move from the abstract to the concrete. He starts by talking about abstract concepts such as gratitude (Denji saved him), freedom and having a community, and then starts to integrate the concrete.

He already includes food by using the precise line that Denji had used, namely steaks.

Miri isn't interested in the debate about food, deploring Denji's interest in it, and reiterates in a cruder and more brutal form what he was saying before, "being used by bastards", instead of talking about instrumentalisation and freedom. And again, he has to push Denji to confirm this.

It's obvious that Miri, who presents himself as the messenger of the church, either sent by someone or is carrying out someone's order, is contradicting himself and is not yet free. As Fumiko points out.

When Miri confronts Denji, who is still in the chair position, Denji has a more interesting response than it seems: being a chair suits him because he can feel buttocks against his back.

Being a chair means contact, and physical contact with girls. Even if it's a rather perverse line (and far from the most poetic), it shows that Denji is once again interested in being a chair if it allows him to make contact with his own kind. That he has no abstract concept built in like self-esteem or claiming his dignity.

Even becoming a friend is too abstract for Denji, who doesn't react. He will only react when new physical contact is mentioned, reacting unusually comically.

Miri mentions this last argument as a last resort, leaving as if he was already sure it would be pointless. It's as if someone had told him to mention low, childish things like steak and sex because they were the only things that would convince Denji.

There's a clear dichotomy in Miri's speech between the arguments that convinced him (surely used by the church to hire him) and the other kinds of arguments that would convince Denji, whispered to him by someone in the church who knows Denji.

Who knows Denji? No hybrids, they don't have any memories, so surely not Reze.

I like to imagine that it's Kishibe, since the steak and sex with several girls are explicit things that Denji mentioned in front of him when he proclaimed his dream.

He was also the only one to observe the fight between Pochita and Makima. So he's the only one who can tell us about the hybrids' past. If we support his link with the hybrids through Quanxi...

It all ties together!

If we go back to the title... A Chair Feelings. It takes on a whole new meaning.

Note the use of the indefinite article "a" and not "the" when only Denji is doing the chair? Wouldn't a chair be a broader metaphor and category? The chair would be the form of alienation accepted by the weapons. Still not freedom.

In short, Fujimoto questions one thing: is the man who claims to be free so far removed from the man who makes the chair ?

[bellarkeselection]

Okay how about a Kacey fic based off the song When She Comes Home Tonight by Riley Green

When She Comes Home Tonight

Shutting the truck door I sighed heavily resting my body against the driver door taking a moment to rest from my long hour day. I had taken on the position of working for my father’s department at the sheriff’s office. Meaning that I had to hide some things from my boyfriend’s family. Walking up the stairs I opened the door, shutting it behind me and sitting on the floor until I heard footsteps creaking on the wooden floor. “Hey there, darling. How was your day?”

“Would prefer not to talk about it, Kayce.” I mumbled, staring at the staircase in front of me instead of him.

Kayce lowered himself down to sit in front of me. “What do you want to talk about then? Hey, hey, look at me. Y/n, you okay?” He lifted my chin up so I’d look him in the eye seeing some tears welling in my eyes.

“Just the job being tough on me today is all. Debating on why I didn’t just take your father up on his offer to give me a job here. My father certainly wouldn’t be as worried with my stress level.” I sniffed through some tears wiping them away with my sleeve.

John Dutton and my father have been friends for years. Kayce and I were close and I knew everything he knew about training horses on a ranch. Yet I knew the other side that involved the law. I believed I could help both sides. “Well we don’t have to worry about that now. I’ve got something to show you anyhow. Here, let me..” He got to his feet offering his hands out to me.

“What have you done now, Dutton?” Placing my hands in his he tugged me up to stand.

He only gave me a simple response coming behind me and covering my eyes with one hand and leading me through his family home. “You’ll see in a second, baby.”

“Kayce…what is all this for?” He made us stop walking until he lowered his hand and I gasped at what he had set up on the table in front of the fireplace. He had two beers open with a steak cuff in half for us to share for dinner.

Kayce smiled down at me. “It’s been awhile since it’s just been the two of us here. So I thought we should do something special.”

“Awe. Aren’t you a romantic cowboy?” I smiled sitting down with him on the couch.

Kayce picked up his beer, sending me a wink. “I would hope so for what I was thinkin’ of doing later tonight.”

Raising my beer bottle to my mouth I take a long drink. The bitter taste is not burning my throat as much as it normally did, given the fact that I've had a really long day. Kayce and I sat in comfortable silence between the two of us while we ate our pieces of steak. Placing the second to last bite of food in my mouth I felt his eyes focused on me and nothing else. “Dutton, you're staring. You know some would consider this very rude-” I gasped before his hands cupped my face and he pressed his lips down onto mine causing me to drop my fork on the floor.

It wasn't a foreign concept to kiss the youngest Dutton son. We had certainly had a connection from the first day we met. Anyone in our families or friend groups could see the attraction from a mile away. Moving my hands up his chest I leaned into it. He held my face for a few more seconds until I climbed up into his lap. Kayce then switched his position, snacking his arms around my waist holding me close to his chest.

“Kayce..” I moaned into the kiss threading my fingers into his dirty brown locks that were naturally messy but were going to be even worse if we kept going.

He gently pushed me back on the couch and I didn’t make a move to fight his intentions. “Y/n…”

We didn't care about the food in front of us anymore. Our hands were just moving over the other in every way possible. I’m not sure how we managed to not break any furniture by the point of Kayce getting to his feet and me wrapping my arms and legs around his body. We never broke the heated kiss and made our way up the stairs to his bedroom.

“Kayce, I wasn’t expecting this.” I giggled before we collapsed down onto the mattress of the bed behind us.

Kayce leans down, capturing my lips with his in a deep hungry kiss. I kissed him back gently before he started moving kisses down my face. “You’ve had a long day and I’ve missed you so much. Let me take care of you.” He kissed down, nuzzling his nose into my neck as he went.

“Ohh Kayce!” I moaned, throwing my head back against the pillows. One hand was bawling the fabric of his shirt in my fingers.

He moaned, crashing his lips onto mine again where I wrapped my arms around his neck. “That’s my girl.”

“Don’t be a tease tonight, Dutton.” I warned the cowboy.

Kayce sat up on his knees shrugging his shirt over his head tossing it somewhere across the room. He moved his hands down to my shirt. “I’ll definitely tease you later, darling.” He threw my torn shirt off the edge of the bed.

I began to move against him and leaned up pressing my lips down upon his. He embraced me back instantly when my fingers dug into back. He ran his body over every inch of my body he could reach, both of us slick with sweat as he moved against one another, our pants and moans filling the room.

We shortly reached our heights in only a matter of minutes where he drew his head back flipping onto his back while I laid beside him. We both attempted to catch our breaths where I scooted over laying my head on his bare chest. “Kayce?”

“Hmm.” He made a noise as a response.

Lifting my head up to meet his deep brown eyes. “Thank you for tonight. I really appreciate it and love you.”

“I love you too. I’ll always want you to have a good evening when you come home tonight and every night.” Kayce rolls over to face me, cupping the side of my face with one hand. He draws me in for another kiss and I smile into it.

Trailing my hands up his chest I broke it mumbling into the kiss. “How would you feel about a round two?”

“I’m definitely down for that, my darling.” He smirked and I squealed when he rolled onto his back. I kept my hands around his neck and I stared down at him from above…Kayce always made me feel so good every time I came home and he never broke that promise.

[yeyinde]

thank you for tagging me @ivymarquis ! i debated between this, the regency fic (fleshed out), or one of the other Price fics i'm working on (home from college for the summer and seducing hot older neighbour Price whomst you had a crush on since sixteen (aka daddy issues, the playbook), DomPrice, etc), but i think the Soap fic will probably be finished before all of those. so, here is the baby trap piece with Soap.

nothing smutty but this def captures their odd, imbalanced dynamic perfectly, i think:

“And you have no cellphone? No satellite phone?”

“Ye can check it—” he makes a flippant motion toward the glove box in front of you. “Deader than ever.”

You hesitate only briefly. Long enough to level him with a searching look that yields no results (every expression hidden behind a thick, unruly forest of overgrown hair jutting out to his Adam's apple) before you reach for the compartment, gingerly pulling it open, and—

Sometimes, things get overlooked by their surroundings. Swallowed in the vacuum. Blending seamlessly into the muddle, the commotion. Or hidden. Can you spot the mountain lion in this tumble of rock and bush?

This isn't like that. 

It sits on top of a manila folder. Sleek black and cold silver. You're not terribly well-versed in guns—the extent of your knowledge stemming mostly from formulaic crime shows aired late at night; CSI, NCIS, Criminal Minds—but you recognise this one instantly. Some sort of handgun. Police issued, you think. It's bigger than you'd expected. Looks heavier, too. 

Your heart stutters. The air galloping out of your lungs in a stammering rush. 

He makes a noise, soft and nonchalant, as if keeping handguns in the glove box of his old, burnt umbre truck is perfectly normal. 

“Fer protection,” he mumbles. You catch the jerk of his chin in your periphery. “Forgot I had it in here. Been usin’ the rifle for huntin’ mostly. Or the shotgun.”

Three guns. You swallow. “Why—” your voice comes out in a brittle whisper. You clear your throat. Pretend it helps, that you don't feel as vulnerable as you sound right now. “Why, um, why do you need three?”

“Not fae around ‘ere, are ye?” He echoes your words from earlier with a wry twist of his mouth, eyes slanting in the sunlight. “Tha’,” he takes his hand off your thigh to jab his finger at the handgun. “Is fer wolverines.” His index finger falls, his thumb juts out. He jerks it over his shoulder. “Tha’ is fer huntin’. The shotgun back home is fer bears.” 

You try to move out of the way when his hand falls back to your thigh, but the pain radiating up your leg immobilizes you. There's not much you can do in this situation but endure.

Military. Wounded in action. Three guns. Touchy. 

You're not sure what to think. It would be easier if you couldn't. 

“What do you hunt?” You ask instead, glancing out the window to the barren landscape rolling out around you. There doesn't seem to be much in the jagged hills, towering mountains. 

“Gettin’ hungry? Donnae worry, doe. Go’ tha’ pesky hare I was tryin’ tae shoot on the ledge fer dinner tonight.” 

It's not much of a comfort. The idea of being injured—by accident, he claims—to such an extent over a rabbit makes you feel a little sick. 

“That's it?” 

“I can make a mean steak outta anythin’. Stews fer tougher meat. Fish, too—whitefish, arctic grayling, and lake trout. Learned how tae make a nasty fishfry from the locals in Nahanni Butte. Bannock, too. Got berries ‘round ma cabin. Caribou, Moose. Taste better in tacos or burgers. Mountain goat, Dall’s sheep. Been eatin’ better ‘ere than ah did at home.” 

“And you're—just allowed to hunt them?” The website advised of a permit through some special outfit needed to hunt when you requested your pass into the park. Said that only aboriginals were allowed to do so. “You're not—”

“Aye,” he cuts you off with a small nod. “No huntin’ in the park. But. We're not in the park anymore.”

“Where are we?” You ask again, firmer this time. 

“I told ye. Nearly home.”

“And where is home?” 

The way he sucks his teeth makes you recoil slightly. Wet. Irritated. As if he's tired of this conversation already. 

“Close.”

You don't let his flat tone deter you. “Are we—are we still in the Northwest Territories?”

“Thereabouts.” 

It's not an answer. It doesn't reassure you in the slightest. 

You open your mouth to say so, words curling on your tongue when he jerks his chin toward the handgun, brow furrowed. 

“Thought ye wanted tae check on the satellite phone.”

His tone is severe. A growl curdling the ends, pitching it down, down. Displeasure, irritation, blooms in the gnarled petals of witch hazel when he narrows them into slits. 

[cod-dump]

My oc is a K9 handler and has definitely tried to click train the 141. Whether it was successful or not is up for debate

141 could possibly be clicker trained.

Ghost particularly loves the sound of the clicker so he’d be the easiest. He actually just loves the sound so he’ll do whatever to hear it. This also means he’d definitely try to steal it, or buy one for himself. Keep that in mind.

Soap fucking loves food so if the clicker means food and then hell yea he’ll listen. He’ll do whatever you want, give him that click and a juicy steak, or zucchini bread, or a cheeseburger, or-

Price might be harder to click train considering he’s stubborn and what he likes aren’t exactly easy to give out like what Soap likes and definitely doesn’t care for the sound like Ghost. He generally doesn’t care, at all. The clicker doesn’t mean anything to him, really. He’d just stare blankly at the clicker, very unimpressed.

Gaz is near impossible to click train, mostly because his hearing is… a little hard. He doesn’t associate the sound with reward at all and just continues on. Thankfully he has good manners so it isn’t really needed.

Farah, like Gaz, is very well behaved. She has manners and knows when she can let loose or not. Farah is also like Price, she doesn’t care about the clicker.

Nik is not being trained. He’s a menace. He’ll trick you into giving him a reward and then continuing with being an asshole. If Price can’t control him then no one is. Good luck with that.

[ralkana]

Fluffbruary, Day 6

February 6: tie | embarrassment | dessert

Dream of the Endless / Hob Gadling

Rated G

-----

It's the middle of the afternoon when his stranger shows up at the New Inn, a smile on his face, naming Hob friend. Apologizing for his absence.

"Welcome," Hob says, shoving his marking into his satchel. "Let me get you a glass of wine."

His stranger sits silently as he asks Katie for another pint and orders a glass of Malbec.

"The good one," he clarifies, and she grins.

"Got it, Robbie," she says, with a curious glance at his companion, and then they're alone again.

His friend is still watching him, that smile on his face, and Hob can't help but take a moment simply to look. He thinks about asking why they didn't meet in 1989, why he was left adrift and alone, but it doesn't matter. Not really. He's here now.

"What were you working on when I arrived?" his friend asks, his gaze shifting briefly to Hob's satchel before anchoring firmly on Hob's face once more.

"Marking," he says, and his friend's brow furrows. "Checking my students' work," he adds. "I'm a professor now! Me, can you imagine?"

And then he's off, the familiar rhythm of their past meetings suddenly returning. He talks for so long that his voice falters. There is so much to tell his friend about. X-rays and the space race, vinyl records and the internet. With a word to Katie, he switches from beer to water, and keeps going.

His friend is no more talkative about himself than usual, but he seems more engaged, less... dour. He asks questions, and is more expressive than Hob has ever seen him. Hob even thinks he tried the wine Hob chose for him, though the nearly full glass now sits on the table between them.

He is in the middle of explaining the miracle of organ transplants when his stomach growls, loud enough to be heard from across the table even in the busy pub, and he breaks off in embarrassment.

"Pardon me," he says with a laugh.

"I have kept you from your evening meal," his friend says, shifting in his seat, and Hob lunges, half-desperate, as it looks like he might rise. His friend stills, eyes widening a fraction.

"No, no! It's fine!" Hob says, lowering his hand from its aborted grasp. Please don't leave! He takes a moment to breathe, to calm himself.

"We have shared a meal before," he reasons, though of course, his friend has never eaten. He has remained while Hob has eaten, though, and that's what he's hoping for now. "We could do so again. If you'd like."

His friend nods his agreement, so quickly that Hob thinks he might not be the only one unready for the evening to end.

He orders a steak and ale pie, and when Katie asks his friend for his order and he declines, Hob asks for two forks. His friend raises an eyebrow at that, and Hob simply grins. One day, he'll find something that tempts his friend - his need to feed those he cares about is strong. Stronger still because his friend looks like he's missed a fair few meals recently.

If he even eats. Perhaps he lives on words. Heaven knows Hob has given him plenty of those.

His meal arrives, and he breaks the crust of the steaming pie, smiling as he inhales the aroma of the thick gravy that wafts out.

He has eaten a few bites in between his words when his friend shifts in his chair, reaching for the fork in front of him.

Hob watches, fascinated, as he scoops up a small bite of beef, a morsel of crust, and a tiny bit of gravy. Those petal pink lips part as he tastes it, head tilted like a bird's as he considers it.

"It is pleasingly savory," he pronounces as he sets the fork down again, and Hob grins.

"That it is, friend," he says in agreement, applying himself to his meal and his tale.

"Dessert then, Robbie?" Katie asks a few minutes later, as she brings him another glass of water and sees the remains of his meal.

Hob debates for approximately three seconds. "Yeah, go on then."

Katie laughs as she picks up his plate. "The usual?"

"Please, and two forks."

There's so much more to tell his friend about - there always is - but Hob feels mostly talked out. This is by far the longest his friend has ever lingered, and he can't ignore the ache of the knowledge that soon, their meeting must end.

Unwilling to prematurely give into the melancholy that always arrives after these evenings, Hob pushes it away and says, "The kitchen here is fantastic. In some ways, pub food is the same as it's always been, but some things are so different now..."

He's in the middle of explaining gastropubs and fusion cuisine when Katie approaches their table once more, and he breaks off.

"Ah, thanks, love," he says, rubbing his hands together in anticipation as she sets down their dessert. "Butterscotch bread pudding with vanilla bean ice cream and housemade whiskey caramel sauce. It's absolutely the best thing on the menu. It's won awards."

Lifting the shot glass of caramel, he upends it, drizzling it over the pudding sizzling in its little cast iron pot. The ice cream is melting slowly into the top of the pudding, and the smell is divine.

Hob digs in and pops a bite in his mouth. It's too hot, burning his tongue, and it's absolutely worth it.

His friend picks up his fork and digs out a tiny bite to try, and Hob watches his eyes widen, his pleasure clear on his face in a way that has Hob shift in his seat. He's beautiful.

"Good, innit?"

He says nothing, but his fork dips again, lifts a larger bite this time.

Sweet tooth, then, Hob thinks. Got it.

He goes in for another bite as well, picking the thread of his words back up.

He's talking about the rise of the celebrity chef a few moments later, reaching for another bite, when his fork scrapes against iron, and he blinks and looks down. The little pot is empty, only a few drops of caramel sauce and a few smears of melted ice cream remaining. Hob has had maybe three bites.

He looks up, astonished. His friend looks back serenely, but there are spots of color, high on his pale cheeks. He sets his fork down.

Hob could not stop the smile breaking over his face for all the money in the world. His friend's lips twitch, the corner tucking into a tiny smile, and Hob notices there is the smallest drop of caramel sauce at the corner of his friend's mouth.

Hob entertains a very brief fantasy of leaning across the table and licking it off, tasting the sweetness of the caramel and his friend's perfect skin.

Clearing his throat and shoving the thought away, he sets his own fork down. They are not unfamiliar, these little moments of want that flash within him, whenever they share an evening. They are what sustain him in the long decades between their meetings.

His friend's gaze is sharp on his face, but those spots of color remain.

"I apologize for consuming your dessert."

"Our dessert, friend. Two forks, remember? I'm just glad you enjoyed it. Would you like another?"

His friend looks away, out the window long since gone dark.

"The hour grows late," he says, and Hob tries not to flinch. "And I have. Difficult work ahead of me. But. Perhaps we might meet again soon. To share this dish. Or perhaps another."

Hob's breath catches, his heart pounding. I will take you to every bakery and dessert shop in London, he thinks. England! The world!

"I would like that very much, my friend," he says.

"Dream," he says as he stands, looking down at Hob with the same smile he had when he first came in. "You may call me Dream."

"Good night, Dream, my friend," Hob says, trying not to choke on the emotion that swamps him. "I hope to see you soon."

"You shall, Hob Gadling. Good night, my friend."

Between one blink and the next, he's gone.

END

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Thanks to @fluffbruary for the prompt, and to the Morrison in Atwater Village for the best damn bread pudding I've had in my life.

[shewrites02]

The Green Dress | Zoro x Reader |

The Stoic Swordsman & His favorite crew mate

Zoro x Crewmate!Reader

Tags: Zoro x Reader, Fluff , Fluff , Fluff

A/N: This is my very first One Piece fic so who else , but the swordsman would be worthy? I have inclinations to write a smutty part 2 (although I've never written smut anywhere on my blog, there are first for everything ! ) if that is something yall would enjoy pleaseee let me know.

Request : Open

Word Count : 2.5k

Leave a comment if you enjoy ! :)

You had not thought you were asking for too much coming into town looking for a nice dress to wear for your one year anniversary with Zoro . No , the two of you weren't wedded yet , but that surely didn't stop you from wanting to celebrate as if it were so.

You had finally found the perfect dress ! It was Zoro's favorite shade of green and despite him only giving you a once over when you came out the dressing room to show him , you knew he would be dying to rip it off you well before the night ended. The subtle smirk he was fighting so hard for you not to see caught your glance when passing the mirror to head back to your dressing room .

Everything was going to be perfect. At least you were optimistic until you reached the cashier. The dress ringing up 3x what was advertised making it officially out of your budget.

"But it was in the wrong section, can't you make an exception just this once ?" You plead . The cashier remained unmoved .

You debated stealing the dress . You already had a million dollar bounty , what was another theft charge on top of that ? But the thought was quickly dismissed when you remembered how much Nami stressed being discreet . A mission Luffy and Zoro would no doubt fail at eventually although , you didn't have to aid in their fall .

"Fine." You mumbled. You mangled the dress between your two fist until it was wound into a tight ball and threw it to your left . The fabric zipping past Zoro to land limp at his feet . " I need a drink " were your last words before exiting the establishment.

You pushed the double doors of the tavern open forcefully , both doors slamming against the walls behind them . The loud bang from the collision drew the attention of the few patrons that did sit inside. But their glances were quickly dissipated once the stoic expression of the swordsman became visible.

"Can I get two bottles of Sake please ?" You asked the young bartender.

Zoro stood to the right of you his torso facing you as you sat forward in the bar stool . You watched as the bartender uncapped the two bottles and slid them down the bar to the two of you .

"I'm just so disappointed Zo ... " you whined shallow tears brimming in your eyes . You leaned your head against his chest the contact instantly warming your cheeks.

"We'll find you another dress ." He huffed .

You could tell he didn't quite understand the gravity of the situation. Zoro couldn't really understand how that dress would be any different from the others you tried on and could've purchased on the island . Opposed to lecturing you on the fact he allowed you to sink into him as he lightly pet the top of your head allowing you to lament.

-

You walked the deck of the sunny surveying the spread Sanji had prepared for your date with "that asshole" as he so affectionately called him . A couple white candles and a singular red rose in a crystal vase adorned the center of the black clothed table for two. It was a steak dinner with wine. Sanji had even made appetizers and desserts to accompany the meal , pulling out the whole nine yards for the special occasion .

"Thank you so much Sanji ! It's gorgeous. " you exclaimed throwing your arms around his shoulders.

"I did this for you , not that stupid moss head ! " he reiterated for the umpteenth time .

You dismissed his statement with a chuckle . He could say what he wants , but when the swordsman enlisted his help in asking you to be his girlfriend the cook was a disgruntled accomplice then too . It was starting to seem as if the cook's disdain for the moss head wasn't as harsh as he'd thought.

When the sun set on the water, rays of orange and red dancing along the shore , you knew your time to get dressed was dwindling. The final touches of your hair and makeup were done and all that was left was to actually get out of the towel and slip on something a little more elegant.

Once you walked into your quarters from the washroom you immediately noticed the unfamiliar box lying on your bed . The box was a large white rectangle adorned with a big red bow . You inspected it for a name or a note , anything that would help solve the mystery of the boxes sudden appearance. With no success there was nothing left to do but open it.

The gasp that left your lips when your eyes graced the green fabric was involuntarily. The way your heart speed in your chest and breath hitched was also involuntary, but such a dress deserved every bit of reaction.

"My dress ! "

The very one you had balled up and thrown to the side at the shop , and now you grazed your fingers on the silky fabric and gold adornments. Your head swiveled around to survey the area in hopes the anonymous gifter would announce their presence, but no one came forth . You let out a silent thanks before shimming the dress on . Perfect. Just like in the shop .

The cool brisk air hit your cheeks first when you open the door and step out onto the deck . Despite the breeze the night was still as beautiful as ever . Stars twinkled in the clear dark sky , the moon shining bolder and brighter.

The deck was void of your other crew mates, the others opting to spend their time in their quarters. A not so friendly suggestion from Zoro . You wanted to buy alcohol and snacks as a way of persuading the crew into allowing the two of you privacy for the night .  Zoro grumbled something about it being too much work before announcing the deck would be off limits.

As no surprise to you the boys immediately began to complain. Usopp spoke of how he already promised to show chopper how his new invention worked ; Sanji of how he was on watch for the night and didn't want to watch the green haired pirate take advantage of such a pretty lady , and lastly Franky of the sunny needing maintenance and a list of reasons why it had to be done now.

Luffy was too busy stuffing his face with the fish sandwiches Sanji had fried up for lunch to engage in the conversation . Honestly he thought the commotion the perfect opportunity to steal portions from his crew mates plates . 

"Luffy!" Zoro called sternly drawing his attention to the conversation.

When Luffy's eyes met Zoro's there was a brief pause before Luffy gave him a knowing nod . Luffy swallowed the stolen bite he had taken from usopp's sandwich before speaking.

"The deck is off limits tonight." Luffy echoed his first mate.

The others grumbled some , but no one continued their protests . The captain's orders were absolute.  A small smug smirk graced Zoro's lips as he glanced around the table at the others before planting a small kiss to your temple. When usopp finally realized Luffy had been eating both their portions chaos ensued inevitably putting an end to the previous discussion.

When your boyfriend finally laid his eye on you the edge of his lips upturned to a sly smirk . You watched as his eye roamed from your face down to your toes and back up . The way Zoro stared at you so hungrily, the way a lion stares at a gazelle before pouncing, intimidated you slightly. You forgot how all consuming Zoro's presence could be when it was just the two of you.

"You got my gift ." He states snaking an arm around your waist and drawing you in the moment you come within arms length of him .

The way your eyes light up at his proclamation satisfied Zoro in indescribable ways , but it was the adoration and love in your eyes when you looked up at him that really did his heart in. That made is breath hitch at the feel of your fingers draping the side of his face . That had him hanging onto every syllable that fell from your mouth .

Your body moved on its own before you could catch yourself . Your free hand tangled into the loosely fitting black button up Zoro had on and you stood on your tippie toes . The hand you had placed on Zoro's cheek slid to the back of his neck drawing him down into your lips.

"Thank you Zoro , I love it . " you whisper the words as if they're sacred ; only for the two of you to hear .

"Kiss me one more time and we can call it even ." The ex bounty hunter suggested in an exasperated breath , his voice also a whisper .

Who were you to deny such a man ? You hesitated none before crashing your lips back into his. Zoro's hands slid down your waist to rest firmly on your ass . He would squeeze your cheeks occasionally loving the desperate sounds it drew from you .

"Zo ... h- how did you do this ?"

The swordsman drew away from you wiping the excess spit from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand . His previous devilish smirk had blown into a full blown smile .

Zoro drew out your chair , silently asking you to take a seat before he spoke . You were all too happy to oblige, popping the cork off the fresh wine bottle before he had even made it to his seat . The way he was letting your question linger in the air has you suspicious of what he'll say next .

"I paid Nami half the price to steal the dress ... " he confessed.

"Zoro!"

A loud laugh burst from your lips making you spill the wine you were trying to pour in Zoro's cup onto your hand holding his glass. You finish pouring the drink then sit it down In front of him . You notice how Zoro's eye follow you when you bring your hand to your mouth licking up the excess alcohol before using the cloth napkin to wipe it away .

"It seemed to mean a lot to you ."  The words fell from his lips in a clumsy whisper. As if they had accidentally slipped out.

Zoro's eye quickly adverted from your graze and he turned his head to look at the open water .

"It just- I wanted you to have the dress if you were gonna to be such a crybaby about it the whole night . "

You reached your hand across the table to lace your fingers in his . Almost instinctively his thumb grazed the back of your hand reassuringly.

"I really do love it Zoro , thank you . It was the perfect gift . " you bring his hands to your lips to kiss his knuckles. "Plus it's your favorite color."

He chuckled his eye returning back to you while his shoulders finally relaxed into his chair .

" You do that for me ? " He smirked.

"I wanted you to like it ... " you confessed now being the one to advert your gaze . Feeling the warmth of his stare crawl over your skin . His hand squeezed around yours and your eyes return to him .

"I like it . " He admits a full smile adorned his face showing his teeth and all before he let out a small chuckle. "I really like it . I can't wait to get you out of it."

"Roronoa ! "

A small gasp escaped your lips . You wish you could say you were faking your surprise, feigning innocence for Zoro's sake , but you could not . The way heat spread across your cheeks mouth agape looking for the next words to say made Zoro privy to this .

"C ' mere."

Zoro reached his arm out to grasp the base of the seat of the chair effortlessly sliding you and the chair towards him. He had decided the distance between y'all too great and rectified the situation immediately. Now as you turned to face him your knees brushed lightly against his and he was close enough to drag his palms up and down your thighs as you spoke .

You were sure Zoro wasn't listening to your story . You trailed his eye as it scattered all over your frame . He was drinking in your every breath. The way your fleeting hands touched your face when you swept a strand of hair out your view or anytime you adjusted in your seat inevitably bumping him as a result of your proximity.

"Zoro!" You whined reaching out to wrap your fingers around his forearm. "Listen to me."

"I'm listening." He lied .

Zoro leaned forward to place a placating kiss on your temple. What you thought a sweet gesture was the very last shred of resolve the swordsman had . The moving your chair closer so he could feel you shift in your seat , the fleeting touches he placed on your shoulder and arms as you spoke, and his inability to withdraw the hand rubbing your thigh . It was these little bits of contact that kept him tethered to the present.

"No you're not !" You rebutted.

"You're right I'm not ."