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skunkes · 4 months

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mentioned before I havent felt any tangible significant benefit from meds yet which is fine bc it takes a while to kick in but one small good thing i have noticed so far is even when I get little sleep I feel less tired when I wake up

I don't feel completely incapacitated and in need of being in bed all day, fighting off the urge to nap, to recharge.

I also 1. actually get "Sleepy" now... instead of just feeling very hollowly "Tired" and like i Should be going to bed to try to sleep even though I don't feel like it, because it's about time to be doing that I guess, leading to tossing and turning for 3 hrs before finally succumbing to sleep.

and 2. I actually doze off. Instead of forcing self to try and initiate sleep...this has only ever happened during my rare Naps where im so tired that sleep puts me down by force. Never in actual night time sleep setting... im like dropping my phone and struggling to stay awake sometimes now. At night!!!

None of this is in any of the results I've seen for the medication so i dont even care if its some weird placebo somehow 😭 im jst glad its happening

#talkys #a week before i started taking it i had one day where i just never felt ''sleepy'' despite taking 2 melatonin #and feeling very Tired so i just didnt fall asleep. and then when night came again I still went to bed at 5 am and struggled to fall asleep #now we get to 3 am and my body is like ok start wrapping it up im sleepy i want to go to bed i want to go to bed #last nite i didnt fall asleep until 6 am but that was because I forced self to stay awake for comms + got engrossed in phone #time and also the dogs kept howling outside. i woke up at 12pm and did I feel tired? yeah #does the tiredness feel like extreme pain behind my eyes and a hollow aching empty head that keeps me from moving? it does not...!#its like in the very back of my mind...its present but not demanding all my time #in college i would go thru a daydream to fall asleep and i wouldnt even make it to the end before i dozed off #that hasnt worked in years and now its working again

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liquidstar · 6 months

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a friend who'd wait :)

#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol #finn's ocs #finn's art #i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me #and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun #i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past #he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it #he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned #which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them #they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore #but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird #and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place #though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library #and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together #since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door #eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement #barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate #but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd #he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself #but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov #sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3 #but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh

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finvisual · 2 years

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Jancy Week 2022: DAY THREE -- love languages

*plays chasing cars softly in the background*

#jancyweek2022 #jancy #my art #st #stranger things #stranger things 4 #AAAAAAAAAA im glad i was able to put out something for this week!!#(honestly wouldve made more in advanced but iiiii #got really sick the last week or so sooooooo #yeah ^^;)#plus i actually made this at the start of october #and SOMEHOW restrained myself from posting it until now lmao #anyways rambling aside: this was very much inspired from this like #behind the scenes photo of this old movie that one of my mutuals posted forever ago??#and i always swore i would draw something like it for jancy #and now here we are! <333 #love they so muchhhh 💜💖💖💖💖#i think i originally made this for sundays prompt?? since i had a lyric attached to it-- but i forgot sO!#DOMESTIC BLISS IN THE AFTERMATH HERE WE GOOOOOO #could also be 'stay with me until i fall asleep #because lbr #they deserve to rest after all that shit tbh #even if its stolen moments here and there

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camels-pen · 11 months

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mmm read a hurt/comfort Zoro fic recently and like. I get it now. That guy DOES hurt so pretty. kinda wanna try my hand at it.

-

A voice disappeared.

Zoro stopped in his tracks, feet rooted to the spot.

Who was it? Where? How-?

Just barely, he managed to block a blade aiming for his neck.

Luffy was ahead of him, laughing his head off. The cook was a bright flaming beacon in the sky.

The rest? C'mon take a count, Zoro. Make sure.

Usopp. Nami. Chopper. Jinbei. Robin. Cook. Luffy.

What? Two? No, where were-

His breath hitched as he blocked another attack.

Calm down. Take a breath. Count again.

Usopp. Nami. Robin. Cook. Luffy.

Fuck. They couldn't-

No, they had to have left the battlefield. These guys were smallfry, even for the so called "weakling trio".

Zoro took a moment to focus on the enemy around him. He let off a tatsumaki before focusing again.

One at a time, Zoro. Come on.

Usopp.

Robin.

Sanji.

Zoro jerked, eyes wide and searching frantically.

"No, no no no no no. He can't have-" Luffy would never leave before the battle was done, not without making some kind of grand exit. He wouldn't leave without telling Zoro- telling anyone- about it.

He wouldn't up and disappear into thin air like that. Not unless-

Zoro shook his head roughly. They were fine, he just couldn't see them. It would be too much of a coincidence for them all to disappear like that. He just needed to count again, then regroup with Usopp, Robin, and the cook, and figure out what was going on.

Stay calm, Zoro. Losing your head won't find your friends.

So, again, Zoro breathed. And Zoro counted.

Usopp.

The only voice left, was Usopp.

Zoro wasted no time.

He sprinted as fast as he could, cutting down anyone in front of him almost as an after thought, as he bulldozed towards Usopp's voice.

He'd nearly made it too, when some dead man kicked his side hard enough to stop him in his tracks.

Zoro turned to him, a snarl on his face. "Get out of my way before I kill you."

"Huh?" The man sneered. "I should be saying the same thing, watch where you swing those swords, asshole."

Zoro was about to retort when he noticed Usopp's voice moving away from him. He didn't have time for this.

Without warning, Zoro moved to slice through his opponent and, to his surprise, the man blocked it with ease.

"You wanna go? Here and now?" the man growled. "I'll kick your fucking ass."

This man- Zoro has never met him before, but nonetheless felt he would need to pay him his full attention to have a chance at winning.

But Usopp was getting farther and farther-

Oh, Zoro could hit himself.

"USOPP!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, startling the man. "STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE, I'LL BE THERE SOON!"

Usopp didn't respond, but he stopped moving, and that was good enough for now.

"Hey!" The man yelled, pressing down on Zoro's swords. "Whatever you need him for can wait until after our battle's over. He's got his own problems to deal with."

Zoro didn't bother wasting his breath. He cut and slashed, throwing attack after attack without abandon. It didn't matter if he was wasting his energy, he needed to get to Usopp before- before-

The man, infuriatingly, blocked almost every blow, and got a few hits in on Zoro himself.

Zoro would get to Usopp, even if it killed-!

Suddenly, there was a crackle in the air and all at once, Zoro's nerves lit up with pure unfiltered pain.

He dropped to his knees, blurry vision wavering on black shoes. He couldn't feel his arms. Or his face. And his head was getting lighter and lighter.

Zoro's fading thoughts were prayers, to a god he didn't believe in, to keep his friend safe.

-

"GYAHHH, ZORO'S GONNA KILL ME!"

"Nami-swan, a little help please?" Sanji said, voice uncharacteristically strained.

"If you're asking, how can I say no?" Nami said, smirking. "Get out of the way... now!" The moment Sanji pushed off Zoro's swords to hop away, she brought down her Thunderbolt Tempo on top of Zoro. He fell to his knees before crumbling to the ground, twitching.

"You could've knocked him out on your own though, why ask for my help?" Nami asked.

"Ah well, it seemed he had a couple screws loose and I didn't want to kill what little braincells were remaining." Nami nodded in understanding.

The two of them turned to Usopp as he inched his way closer. He carefully prodded Zoro's thigh with his boot. "He's really unconscious, right? Not gonna get up anytime soon?"

Nami shrugged. "It's always hard to tell with him. But don't worry," -she stood tall, holding out her Climatact- "I'll shock him as many times as necessary."

"That means I get to live another day, so you have the Usopp deal of approval." Usopp gave her a thumbs up.

"What'd you even do to get him so pissed at you, Usopp?" Nami asked.

"Nothing!" He paused and looked away. "Well, nothing recently."

"He wasn't just mad," Sanji said. "He looked..." Scared, Sanji wanted to say. But the word was so... simple. Too simple. And it didn't explain the desperation in his eye. The wet sheen. The way he hardly blinked.

The way he kept himself facing the direction Usopp was in, revealing his constant use of Haki.

This wasn't just Zoro scared. This was Zoro terrified.

And Sanji had never seen him terrified before.

"...off," Sanji settled on, furrowing his brow. "He looked off."

Nami and Usopp hummed in thought.

The three of them stared down at Zoro's prone body. An ominous dark puddle started growing under him.

The three of them sighed.

"I'll call Chopper-" Usopp felt a tug on his ankle. He looked down. Zoro's hand was holding his boot. "I thought you said he was unconscious!" he yelled, trying to break his grip unsuccessfully.

Sanji poked Zoro with his shoe. Zoro didn't move. "He's still unconscious, so you're gonna have to be his teddy bear."

"What?! No!" He gripped onto Sanji's shirt. "Sanji-kun pleaaaaase free me before my ankle's crushed in his sleep!"

Sanji rolled an eye. "You'll be fine."

"Then can you go get Chopper? Zoro's losing a lot of blood."

"The mosshead'll be fine too. Also," -Sanji pointed to Luffy and Chopper doing some kind of strange combo attack, with Chopper in Heavy Point using Luffy as a whip- "I don't wanna break up their fun."

"Sanji-kun," Nami piped up. "Go get Chopper, please."

"Of course, Nami-swan!" Sanji immediately ran off.

-

The two of them quietly watched him go.

"Did you see what caused this?" Usopp asked.

Nami shook her head. "I know about as much as you do: Zoro suddenly taking out a big group at once and then charging towards you." She bit her lip. "I don't think he recognized Sanji."

Usopp sighed, squatting down to pull the bandana from green hair. He stared at the slackened face of his friend, hands tightening in dark fabric.

"What happened to you, Zoro?"

#one piece #roronoa zoro #nemo the writing ho #oh crap i think i accidentally started a multi-chapter when i meant o write a drabble aaaaa #the gist of this is. devil fruit or marine weapon or something. fucks with zoros head. so he thinks his crew has disappeared one by one #and its like. a subtle thing. which is why nobody notices until Zoros bulldozing toeards Usopp #tbh i have no clue where to go from here i just wanted to cause him some hurt #ack. this has not enough zoro pain #ah well. late night drabbles are. well. late night drabbles.#ohhh perhaps. perhaps even after this whole thing is resolved. zoro has hella trouble sleeping.#bc hes afraid he'll fall asleep and he eont be able to hear his friends voices anymore #so he takes as many night watches as possible. he doesnt take naps anymore. stays up even without having watch #all this just to obsessively check and recheck his Haki.#and then visit each and every one of them to confirm with his own eye that they were still here. still alive #haha yeah. itd probably take awhile to be comfortable enough to sleep again #maybe the only way he feels safe to do so at first is to be in a huge pile with his friends sleeping on or around him #oh fuck now im making myself hella sad #okay thats enough for tonight its bed time

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alixlives · 1 year

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sometimes i wish people could properly understand why i apologize for falling asleep before or during a conversation

#‘its okay’ no it isnt #its not okay #because if i fell asleep before talking to you that means i missed out on talking to you #and now ive talked to you less than i want to #and i barely get to talk to you as is #so ‘its okay theres next time / right now’ yeah but i missed THAT TIME #and then what if they end up not replying until the day later?#i have to go so long without talking to one of my favorite people #and then that ruins my whole mood because its that theyre one of the few people who actually keep me happy #and are the reason im still getting through this shit #so what am i supposed to do going what would be practically 2 days without talking to that person??#its not their fault #it isnt mine but it feels like its mine #because i know i couldve stayed up #if i would if sat up instead of laying down #took the blankets off so i wasnt warm and comfortable #i’d be freezing and uncomfortable so i wouldnt be able to fall asleep #and i know that #but i stayed comfortable anyway #so that makes it my fault

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bells-of-black-sunday · 1 year

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he's so cute

#ooc #/muns w.i.ps #cw; eye horror #cw; multiple eyes #just in case-#i tried going to sleep but couldnt fall asleep so now im staying up until im back on a normal schedule

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pepprs · 1 year

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not doing good. at all

#purrs #today and yesterday ive been unspeakably depressed. and no one knows what to do with me and i don’t know what to do with me. but ivs been ge #getting absolutely SHIT sleep bc of my siblings staying up late and my sisters ocd stuff which is probably part of it. I now im wide awake a #and it’s 2 and im miseravle and can’t sleep and already did sleep for 2 hours and it didn’t help and im hungry and weak #i truly don’t n kw what’s wro ng with me. i want to be happy and normal but every day i have long moments where im trying so hard not to cry #and i think most ppl would excuse themselves to go cry or take a break or like. speak up and ask for help if they’re miserable but i don’t d #do any of that. i just hold it all in until i get so tired it disappears. and then when i do snap im too miserable and ashamed to actually b #be honest about how anyone can help me which only makes me cry more. atp idk what will help. im in therapy now im about to have some time of #km eating food i like even though it’s not the healthiest ive tried resting and getting sleep and whatever. maybe im just not cut out for #any of what im doing and i just need to detach myself from reality even harder than i am already doing apparently. idk nothing im typing is #making sense i just can’t fall asleep now and im so pissed at my siblings and im pissed at my whole family for not giving a shit that im mis #miserable and easily overstimulated by noise bc i could’ve had ghe room downstairs and im still being held hostage by redacted and being #shaken awake to redacted like last night and work is killing me for the dumbest reasons. i literally cannot keep living like this #delete later

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torturedpoetdean · 1 year

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ive had plenty of bad airport experiences like it’s literally my job but today might be the worst day of my life last night i worked a three leg red eye which means i started at 4 pm worked 2 flights and then a red eye from portland to New York. i landed in new york at 7 am and i have been trying to get on a flight to atlanta since then and 12 hours later im still here and I’ve been awake for 35 hours and i finally got on a plane only to have to get off cause a storm is moving in and all departures are cancelled until further notice i don’t even have my computer with me to edit amvs 😭😭

#ive read most of 91w today #i had to stop reading cause my eyes could stay open but then when i found a corner to nap on the floor iwcoulsnt fall asleep #so now i bought an overpriced airport blanket and pillow and im gonna watch supernatural until i fall asleep

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celticwoman · 1 year

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thanks for the kind words the other day :-) i got my period yesterday so thats whats making it soooo much worse but im trying to keep myself busy even tho thats really hard rn bc i have no interest in anything which sucks but whatever. im thinking of taking my sisters to an ecopark tomorrow, just to get out and do something different and have a nice day out :-) so im looking forward to that

#well probably have lunch out too. just to make the most out of the day #and the botanical garden is like. right in front of the ecopark so maybe we can go take a look there as well #also were going to see barbie together after all. next week #were doing like a family outing out of it and my parents are watching oppenheimer while we watch barbie #my dads the one that really wanted to watch it and my moms not into barbie so shes going with him but im pretty sure shes gonna end up-#-falling asleep lmao #anyways thats all i wanted to share. the period cramps are cramping once again so i might take a nap #and after that i think ill redye my hair because its really faded by now. and ik i said i wasnt gonna do it more than once bc its black-#-and its super difficult to bleach but i just looooved having black hair. so ill stay with black hair at least until its longer and i can-#-cut the parts thatve been bleached #anyways my mom was supposed to help me but now she wants to act mad for something insignificant as moms do so ill have to do it myself :-)#okay now thats all bye #cami.txt

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catboyfurina · 1 year

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the problem with sleepy sad is that the solition is talk to people which is an awake activity

#beeep #its counterproductive #i suppose i will just stay sad until i fall asleep?#whatever i suppose. is this mental health . is mental health when u r okay i guess im sad now. whatever or is that mental illness 2

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latinokaeya-moving · 2 years

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everytime. everytime i talk abt finding the whole immortality dilemma a lil funny/Personally trite bc i’ve very desperately wished i was immortal since i was like. 12 years old. i’ve gotten ppl trying to explain why immortality is narratively treated as a bad thing that has many downsides actually as if i haven’t heard the argument of “but you’ll outlive everyone you know🥺” before and just straight up don’t care that much abt it 😭

when i was watching iwtv this weekend w my cousin i brought it up bc obviously vampires r always talking abt the gift/curse of immortality n when i rolled my eyes n jokingly was like immortality rocks actually she very stiffly was like “you just say that bc you haven’t lost someone yet” and like yeah i guess that’s true but also i think you severely underestimate how much i fear my human mortality lol