#stay safe and check your biases

[vampwritesstuff]

𝐕𝐚𝐦𝐩’𝐬 𝐀𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐳 𝐅𝐢𝐜 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐬 (1)

a random collection of Ateez fics I have stumbled across and fell in love with. (I am clearly biased towards smau fics)

* marks mature/violent content, please heed warnings posted by the author. MDNI with the fics on this list that are marked like this. You are responsible for the media you consume!

Personal favorites are marked with 💜

Authors will not be tagged multiple times if they have already been tagged once before on this list, this is to ensure that I don’t flood notifications and so I can tag as many different authors as I can!

If any authors would like their works removed from this list or to be untagged, please feel free to tell me!! As well as let me know if any links are not working properly! (I do tend to check them frequently though as this list also helps me keep track of the ongoing fics I am reading)

While you’re here, also feel free to check out my own Ateez smau Forgotten Melodies! (Shameless self promo but oh well, it’s my rec list I can recommend my own fic if I want to)

OT8/Multiple Members

wonderwall * @atzfilm 💜 (ongoing series)

circus * @lani-heart 💜 (ongoing)

inception * @remedyx (ongoing)

hypothesis (woosan) @woneuntonzz (ongoing smau)

ateez mafia au @softsan (ongoing)

this night together * (yungi) @honeyhotteoks 💜 (ongoing)

the essence of youth is summers with you @eightmakesonebraincell 💜 (oneshot)

divine ruination * @seonghwaddict (ongoing)

blinding lights * (seongjoong) @kpoppers-anonymous (ongoing)

when eight becomes nine @bunnliix (ongoing)

for love of the game * (yunwoo) @kitten4sannie (oneshot)

makes him want to give up his sea legs @yeontantrash 💜 (drabble)

that’s what roommates are for * (yunsanmin) @bro-atz (oneshot)

house of cards @moontyun (ongoing)

incomplete @ldysmfrst (ongoing)

our leaves must fall before our flowers can bloom @ eightmakesonebraincell 💜 (oneshot)

Kim Hongjoong

a wild ride * @bombuni (oneshot)

while you were sleeping @ seonghwaddict (oneshot)

when flowers bloom in the dark @makeitmingi (ongoing)

kindergarten love story @xomakara (oneshot)

your gentle hands @yourlocaljonghoe 💜 (oneshot)

Park Seonghwa

the lamb and the wolf * @ seonghwaddict (oneshot)

the way to his heart * @edenesth (completed series)

the stranger in 43b @jae-bummer (oneshot)

i will wait @hwaightme (oneshot)

let me in @ makeitmingi (oneshot)

Jeong Yunho

espresso for two? @xuchiya (oneshot)

music of the heart @noonaishere 💜 (ongoing smau)

empires @peacheeeliz 💜 (completed smau)

hunted: haunting adeline au * @whatudowhennooneseesyou 💜 (oneshot)

let’s start a podcast @mars101 (ongoing smau)

Kang Yeosang

morning glory * @anyamaris (oneshot)

operation: passenger princess @sungbeam 💜 (oneshot)

yeosang & a situationship @yunhoszn (oneshot smau)

oddeleny @songmingisthighs 💜 (completed smau)

Choi San

online/offline @ noonaishere 💜 (ongoing smau)

leave the window open @ sungbeam (oneshot)

hold me @cheeseceli (oneshot)

no hesitation * @daemour (oneshot)

love beyond barriers @catsannie (ongoing smau)

Song Mingi

preying on you tonight * @bvidzsoo (oneshot)

and july @sara-wishes (oneshot)

wave @sorryimananti-romantic (oneshot)

[ 11:45 p.m. ] @mingtinys (timestamp)

hidden flames @imagine-a-life-like-this & @mxnsxngie (ongoing)

save a horse, ride your best friend @ seonghwaddict (oneshot)

Jung Wooyoung

written in the stars @ennysbookstore (ongoing)

247 @yothangie 💜 (ongoing smau)

unexpectedly @dancinglikebutterflywings 💜 (ongoing smau + currently on hiatus/being rewritten)

lover, please stay * @roomsofangel (ongoing)

that and then @halaboyz (oneshot)

plans changed @ dancinglikebutterflywings (oneshot)

bullseye! @lividstar 💜 (oneshot)

let the heart love again @ makeitmingi 💜 (oneshot)

vivrant thing @hwaslayer (ongoing)

i don’t want your sorrys, i want you safe @dvrktvnnel (oneshot + planned part two)

die for me * @jisungchan (oneshot)

Choi Jongho

oh shit, are we in love? * @mingigoo 💜 (oneshot)

thinking about how… @ cheeseceli (drabble)

the pool * @beenbaanbuun (oneshot)

[simpjaes]

rimming enha and them just taking it im so hornyygfeww

this wasn't what u asked for but im feral rn so here is hyung line + ass eating. warnings: ASS EATING [my specialty]!!!!!!!!!

☆ jay:

jay would fight you at first, but he's very aware that you have far more energy to win the fight considering he spends all day every day being the perfect man for you. wouldn't take that much to have him giving in either, but he'd be nervous. Probably pulls away at the first lick or touch of his hole ;o; definitely wouldn't let you near it unless he's showered and double checked it in the mirror either. his moans tho, when he realizes how good it feels....oh boy. soft little gasps into his arm while he covers his face, feeling more vulnerable than usual bc he's so used to being the one eating you out. eventually he'd probably shyly ask for it, like "babe, remember when you..." and you[me] would be like "SAY NO MORE" while throwing his legs up in the air and holding those cheeks open with a grip that god himself couldn't tear away.

★ jake:

The type to spread his cheeks for you with both hands and look back at you with sparkly tired eyes. idk, i think you guys are aware of how i feel about jake and how biased i am towards eating his ass. he'd constantly stay cleaned up and groomed too just in case, because he's always going to ask you for it. Definitely loves when you lick the mixture of your own slick + his huge loads of cum off of it too. He would make you stay on it if you're on top, waiting for the mess to drip all the way back between his cheeks, then ask you to lick it :D and you would, because you're both nasty together and i just think thats super hot and very neat.

☆ sunghoon:

you'd have to ask him approximately six million times before he eventually lets you. wouldn't really admit that he's into it either, but you'd know solely because of the way he tries to hide jerking himself off through it. he'd never tell a soul, and feels lucky to have you remain so quiet about it too. it's like a little secret you guys share, and you'd eventually make him feel so safe with the secret that he'd maaaaaaybe start asking you for it from time to time. like, "you don't have to if you don't want to..."

★ heeseung:

you don't ask, he doesn't ask. he forces your face between his cheeks and makes you lick it as a form of humiliation. He doesn't even like it that much, but loves to call you gross because you just....you just do it? like you'd do anything for him if you're willing to eat his ass. suffocate you on it, really. I'm talking on his knees straddling your chest, face fucking you before quickly whipping around with a laugh and planting his hole right on your gasping mouth. *sigh* he's a freak.

[eliciria]

hello love!

i saw that you write yandere material and are looking for inspiration! so if you don’t mind I’d love to request some yandere headcanons for satan from om (๑>؂•̀๑)

a/n : heyyy !! thanks so much for requesting. It's a bit short, I hope you don't mind.

whisper to the trees ... (ask box status) : open

check my about me/request rules here

wc : 0.67k words

cws : dark content, mdni! suggestive asf, mentions of kidnapping (not on you), potential smut in the end?

song playing : prayer1 by april27

Yandere! Satan headcanons

On a scale of 1-10, from how scary Satan would be compared to other demons if they were a yandere, I'd make Satan a solid 5.

I am not like Keith Lee, and I can't give that much of a rating without being a little bit biased. So I'll just try to validate my opinion.

Let's start with the fact that this man is pretty much the concept of a person who does his homework. He knows what makes you feel disgusted and what tingles your stomach in lust.

May or may not have studied human anatomy just to use it to his advantage.

Aching from school? He's already massaging the part between your shoulder and neck that makes you feel good, albeit a bit ticklish.

Someone flirted with you at school? Satan kidnaps them, syringes a lethal amount of vitamin c underneath their tongue, and leaves them out on the streets. People say the poor student died from cardiac arrest.

You were a bit uncomfortable after hearing that one. You had just talked to that demon after all. Were you next? Your train of thought was interrupted as Satan ruffles your hair, telling you to be safe. You offer him a smile, and you nod. (He watches as you walk to RAD, shuffling the syringe between his index and middle finger)

Doesn't let you leave his room, and not in the "I captured you" way that you'd imagine. Of course you have to go to school and, do the occasional meet up with those outside (Solomon checking on you), he lightly gaslights you into staying with him for the majority of your stay within HOL. (Little do you know, he may or may not have pulled some strings for you to stay with him here. You aren't leaving hell, sorry.)

Lends you his clothes, in fact, kind of pressures you to wear it. It triggers something in him, a desire. He wants to be all yours, and you to be all his. Wearing a shirt or one of his turtle necks solidifies the fact that you reciprocate this.

He knows what he's doing is toxic and wrong, but he attempts to justify it. (He is going through a crisis within himself trying to validate his gaslighting and manipulating.)

He's incredibly sweet to you, and I mean incredibly. Buying you your favorite drinks, reading to you, all that.

Follows the sidewalk rule for his life, always peels your oranges and whatever fruit you want, and always attempts to keep his anger from bubbling out.

It rarely ever works though, as he is still the avatar of Wrath. Rage bubbles out, especially if something happens to you in particular. Lucifer scolding him? Fine. Mammon stealing his books? He'll get him later. But you going missing? (You were late by 2 minutes..) He was beginning to feel nauseous, his fist clenching. He gripped the book in front of him, trying to keep calm. The ticking of the clock seemingly became louder, and right as he was about to start ravaging his room, a soft hand laid on his lower back.

"Satan?" You say softly, trying to determine whether or not he was angry. He lets out a breath. You smelled so nice. A bit too nice. He turns around. The way that he looked at you now made it seem like he wasn't fuming and holding in his barely contained anger a few seconds ago.

"Hm?" A smile on his face. You couldn't tell what he was thinking of, but the way that he gripped your hand after you stopped holding his shoulder, he probably needed some comfort. (You were dead wrong, he was holding in a boner right then and there.)

You hugged him, patting his back.

"Are you angry?" You mutter quietly. He blinks, before hugging you back "No, no I am not." He takes a whiff of your scent. Sweet. He suddenly gripped your waist, eliciting a yelp from you.

He has decided. Instead of ravaging the room, he'll ravage you instead.

a/n : i leave that to your imagination. reminder i do write smut, so this can continue! My requests are open, so please do request if you have something in mind! Thanks for reading.

[snailtrain]

With regard to the Shinigami Eyes plugin issues, I want to stress how important it is to Trust, But Verify.

A tool can be wrong. This one in particular is curated by a team of human people who can and will have biases. Any easy blacklist curated by real actual humans is going to be open to their biases. AI or Bot driven lists* aren't affected by biases, but they also aren't smart enough to tell "Rowling" from "growling" or "terf" from "butterfly". Honestly, the bot/program that identifies words is more reliable in the long-run vs the one that relies on human input. It still needs checked, obviously, but it's largely free from human bias. A little guy that just points to words and goes 'it has these letters in this order!! Be Aware!' but doesn't assign Good or Bad to it.

It's truly unfortunate that Shinigami Eyes has been made unreliable through bias. This sucks! I wish it was not the case! It was a useful tool for a lot of people for a very long time, and the fact it's being weaponized now against my community is incredibly saddening.

Much in the way you cannot trust a callout post blindly, you shouldn't trust any labeling or blocking tool blindly. It's unfortunate that many people will be learning this through this debacle. :(

Links of reference:

As an addendum, because I did do some cursory lookin' and the link above to firefox reviews does reflect this: Things seem to have taken a downward turn in the last 5 months, though this problem of false flagging was absolutely present before. A tool that relies on user reports is not a reliable tool. Any number of factors can lead to false flagging. Humans and programs are equally fallible (for different reasons) and both can give you a wrong result.

Stay safe, friends. It's truly unfortunate that a tool trusted to protect us from constantly seeing rampant transphobia online has turned against the community it was built to protect.

*systemic biases do influence machine learning, ai, and bots. for the purposes of this, I used generalized words to mean 'an algorithm that blocks things based on a word or string of words without consideration for context', which is how tumblr's blacklist function works.

[fxlling13]

505

Dhawan!master x (fem) reader

Synopsis: you and The Master find yourselves growing closer when he agrees to try therapy with The Doctor again. However, Yaz can’t let go of the past.

Warnings: sexual harassment. Harsh words. Death. Yaz is really mean and annoying. Out of character master. Injury and blood. Allusions to smut but no detail.

WC:19.1k

“But I crumble completely when you cry…”

Over an hour, it had been over an hour since The Doctor had taken The Master (kicking and screaming) out of the room with her. It may have seemed impossible at one point but, somehow, you and yaz found yourselves bored. Sitting in the console room of the doctors fluorescent tardis, you were bored.

“Are they not done yet?” Yaz groaned, giving up on scrolling through her phone. Even though it had to be done, the time was dragging. Giving the girl a short shrug, you spoke,

“The Doctor does tend to waffle.” You both laughed.

“True. But it’s cute.” Yaz grinned, causing you to roll your eyes playfully.

“I think you may be a bit biased of your girlfriend.”

“Also true.” She replied proudly, making you scoff half heartedly. Again it went silent, as you both waited for the aliens to return with little patience. Though, you knew what was happening was very important. And something you secretly wanted to work out. After a very scary and dramatic encounter with The Master, seeing him become her, finally seeing what it was he needed, she had formulated a plan. One that, at first, yaz was completely against. She wanted to bring him on board, as a form of therapy. This plan included convincing him to stay on board, allowing her to store his tardis within the depths of his own, taking away all his ‘evil’ tech, and giving him a firm talking to about his behaviour. Plus a lot more that was far too deep to get into. Yaz said that he would reject the idea, teleport right out of there and try to kill them once again. However, to everyone’s surprise, he did not do that. Instead, he sat in his med-bay bed, a deep scowl etched on his features.

———

“I have just one request. If I were to try this silly idea.” He grumbled, making The Doctor stand straight.

“And what’s that?” She enquired. You had Yaz stood at the back of the room, observing the whole conversation. She was apprehensive, nails half bitten off. You just focused on the male mostly, hoping for the best.

“I don’t want it to be like last time. You keeping me cooped up. If I do this, take me with you. Let me be involved and I’ll promise to try. Properly try.” The Master was serious with his words, sincerity in his tone. In front of him, the blonde pursed her lips in thought but eventually exhaled slowly.

“I suppose that’s only fair. Yes. Yes that can happen. As long as you help to make sure Yaz and (y/n) are safe on our outings?” Her eyes narrowed at him, really testing him and trying to push at his buttons.

“I can do that.” He said instantly, turning his head and locking eyes with you. Surprised, you smiled at him softly, hoping it would really reach him.

“Good, well once you’ve recovered we can get started on the process!” The Doctor cheered, clasping her hands together before ushering everyone out.

A few days later, you sat in your room. The tardis was in “night mode”. Something The Doctor had set up a while back to help everyone have a healthy sleeping pattern. Though, all you could think about was how The Master had been left, almost, entirely alone for three days. The Doctor had instructed you both to leave him alone, let him rest and his body heal itself. You imagined that she would be driving the man even more insane, and you wanted to check up on him, for some reason. So, against her word, you snuck down the metallic corridors until you found the med bay. Perhaps he’d be asleep? Or maybe even have escaped by then. Cracking the door open, you peeked in and saw him, sat up in bed holding a worn out book. You took a deep breath before slipping into the room quietly. Did you announce yourself? What did you even say? You had no reason to be there.

“Up late. Aren’t we (y/n)?” He spoke calmly, without even looking up from his book.

“How did you know it was me?” You asked timidly, watching him put the book aside. The Master looked at you, making you feel self conscious in your choice of nightware.

“I always know when it’s you, dear.” Blushing, you pulled at the bottom of your hoodie slightly.

“I didn’t mean to bother you I was just-“

“Curious?” He cut in, gaze fixated on you, as if analysing you.

“Well I was actually going to say worried. I know that being with The Doctor for three days, having her rant at you must be draining. But yeah, you can say I was curious too I suppose.” Replying, you played with your fingers, eyes wandering around the room. It was dimly lit by a few overhead lights, three beds and many cupboards fully stocked with medicine. The Master was taken aback by your honesty, not expecting anyone to worry for him. He cleared his throat to gain your attention once again.

“You can come closer you know, I won’t hurt you.” Taking a few steps forward, you tilted your head.

“Won’t? Or can’t?” You half joked, taking a seat on the chair beside him.

“I won’t. You know I won’t.” He said in all seriousness, giving you a pointed look. Of course, he was correct. In all the run ins you’d had, you’d never been hurt. The first time, he timed things so you wouldn’t get on that trap of a plane. The next he forced you into following him to Gallifrey with The Doctor, keeping you to the side as he imprisoned her. And every time after that, you were always off to the side. Only last time things went a little wrong.

“You’re correct, I fear my ears have begun to shrivel from The Doctors lectures.” His monotone voice made you giggle, knowing that he was of course just joking. Playing along, you looked and nod.

“Looks like it.” He just rolled his eyes playfully and sighed adjusting his pillows.

“What were you reading?”

“Oh, an ancient book from when I was young. I’ve actually read it many times. Close to a hundred.” Carefully, you picked it up and looked at its scratched cover. Galifreyan writing was beautiful but could never be translated.

“I can read it to you one day if you’d like? I imagine I’m going to have a lot of free time now.” The Master suggested nonchalantly, but you couldn’t help but to smile.

“I’d like that.” Putting it down again, you pulled your knees up and hugged them tightly. It was cold in there.

“What kept you up, hm? Surely not just worrying about little old me.” He teased. You scoffed, pulling the grey hood over your head.

“You wish. I just don’t sleep well, I sometimes don’t sleep much at all.”

“That can’t be good for you, you need your energy to run from whatever danger she puts you through.” His brows were knit together closely, taking more notice of your dark circles and low voice.

“Yeah but, I pull through. I just run at the back. Or let The Doctor hold my hand.” Giving a little shrug, you missed the way the males eye twitched.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He muttered, frowning after a moment.

“You’re cold.” His statement made you look to him. Not knowing what else to say, you just stood up.

“I guess I’ll go. Down want to bother you anymore than I already have.” Before you could turn away, The Master reached out and grabbed your wrist. Wincing, you looked back confused.

“You can stay, if you’d like? You’re not bothering me.” Shocked at his honestly, you bobbed your head slowly, allowing the man to guide you and sit you down on the edge of the bed.

“I suppose I already broke The Doctors rule anyway…” pushing up your sleeve, The Master scowled at the long cut that sat unattended.

“She didn’t dress it?”

“Well you did regenerate twice then proceed to get crushed by a giant rock.” You pointed out bluntly, not thinking much of it.

“Yes. But my body can heal itself like magic. Yours cannot.” The Master got up, walking over to the cupboards and grabbing a small bag.

“You’re not supposed to get up.”

“(Y/n) I healed days ago. Now let me wrap that. It’s my fault you got hurt in the first place.” Sensing some remorse. You simpered as he sat back with you and took hold of your arm. Wasting no time, he cleaned the wound of dried blood before looking more closely.

“It needs a stitch.” He let out, reaching back for the items needed. You chewed on your lip anxiously, eyes darting to follow his every move. Taking notice, he sat straight.

“It won’t hurt, I promise. See this?” He held up a spray bottle, then shook it slightly before spraying over the cut. Your arm began to feel like jelly. Quickly. He got to work and stitched up the top of the cut, wrapping it securely. You felt nothing.

“I’ll change the bandage for you tomorrow. Take this, it fights off infection.” In his hand sat a small white pill. Deciding to trust him, you took it gratefully.

“Why are you being nice to me? Surely your therapy isn’t working that fast.” He chuckled at your question, settling back into bed.

“No of course it isn’t. But I am trying. For everyone’s sake. The only reason I’m in the med bay is because The Doctor is running around, making sure my tardis and all my belongings are locked away.”

“But..I’d assume your TCE would be in your jacket..no?” You wondered, looking at said coat hung up across the room.

“You’re right. It’s still there. Go see for yourself.” Going over, you routed through his pockets, finding a lot more than just one device.

“You could have killed me by now.”

“But I’m not going to kill you (y/n). You can choose to be wary. I understand.” He almost sounded sad. If he was lying, he was beyond convincing. Your eyes suddenly felt very heavy, along with your limbs becoming tingly.

“Come here, love. You look tired.” The Master beckoned you over with his arms agape. It really did look inviting, and you found yourself going to him almost immediately. Helping you onto the bed, The Master pulled you next to him.

“ ‘was fine a minute ago…” you barely mumbled out, subconsciously shuffling closer to the man for warmth.

“It must have just caught up with you hm?” The realisation dawned on you, where you were.

“Can’t sleep…Doctor will be mad..” feeling a hand land on your head, The Master ran his fingers through your hair tenderly.

“Don’t worry about that. Rest for now.”

The next thing you knew, you were waking up in your own bed. Thoroughly confused, you got yourself dressed and quickly headed into the console room. Stopping dead in your tracks, your eyes met with his once again.

“Ah, (y/n) you’ve never slept in this late before!” The Doctor beamed, bounding over to you.

“As of today The Master will be hanging around, I let yaz know earlier.” You just nod, looking around for her.

“She left in a sulk, didn’t she Doctor?” The Master chortled, leaning back against one of the pillars. Huffing, the blonde shook her head.

“She’ll come round to it soon. I’m going to have a talk with her now actually. Will you be ok (y/n)?” She looked at you dourly, leaving you puzzled

“Why wouldn’t I be okay?” You crossed your arms, as she relaxed slightly before heading off.

“She was asking if you’d be okay alone, with me.” The Master let you know, slowly striding over to you. Now understanding, you let out a small ‘oh’ before focusing back on him.

“How did I end up back in my bed?”

“I put you there.” He stated plainly, idly scratching at his stubble.

“You..carried me?” Starting to feel slightly embarrassed, he just smiled.

“Of course. Though I must say, you’re very clingy in your sleep. It took a while to get you to let go of me.” The tone of his voice caused your cheeks to turn red, heat flushing over you.

“God, I’m so sorry.” You were quick to apologise, hands coming up to cover your face.

“For what?” Perplexed, he stood directly in front of you but you didn’t dare to move. Tutting, The Master gently tugged your hands away from your face, holding them.

“For being clingy…even if I was asleep. And I’m sorry you had to carry me when you’re recovering. I’m sorry I went into your room an-“ in a second, he placed his finger to your lips, effectively making you stop.

“Hush.” Though the word was hard, his voice was not and you just nod as he lowered his hand to hold your own again.

“None of that was an inconvenience to me, (y/n). I welcomed your company with open arms. I didn’t mind helping you sleep, or taking you to bed. Not at all. You should relax. I’m here for a long time, I’m sure you’ll get used to it eventually.” You blinked several times, letting what he says sink in. He welcomed your company. He didn’t mind. You knew he could by lying, but he seemed really genuine.

“I’m guessing you sent me to sleep too?”

“I did. For twelve whole hours. Don’t you feel better though?” He smirked, letting go of your hands. It left you feeling cold and you had to stop yourself from complaining.

“I do. Thank you.” You gave a half smile, hugging yourself slightly.

“Did The Doctor confiscate your weapons?”

“Of course she did, though she was happy I hadn’t shrunk anyone. She should feel lucky. All that rambling she did. And I’ve got more to come. Now if she were pocket size…” he trailed off with a thoughtful look and you laughed.

“You wouldn’t, who else would you chase and bully through the universe huh?” This time, he scoffed, shaking his head.

“Very true. I suppose I’ll put up with her for now. I’m actually curious about your outings. I want to experience that.” As he spoke, you took a seat on the steps, hugging your knees close.

“It’s a lot of running you know. Like a lot.”

“Yes I gathered. But don’t worry, I’ll help you keep up.” Even though you didn’t know what he meant, it didn’t sound very malicious.

“Speaking of, is there somewhere you want to go? Or does her girlfriend always get to choose?” It hardly surprised you when the brunette took a seat beside you.

“Yeah I guess Yaz does choose mostly…The Doctor does favour her.” You said, thinking it to be a little funny. But he wasn’t laughing.

“You don’t say. She left you with a gaping wound for almost four days. Stupid woman.” Taking a deep breath, The Master relaxed himself before turning to you.

“So where would you pick?” A million and one ideas ran through your head.

“Maybe, a new planet. With a proper civilisation. I’d love to wonder around an alien city. Just to see how they live day to day. I think it’s a bit boring for The Doctors taste though.” You responded wholeheartedly. The Master watched you talk fondly, admiring the way your eyes seemed to light up at the idea.

“I think it sounds great. I’d definitely take you if I could. I know just the planet.” Your eyes shot to him, lips twitching upward.

“Maybe one day you can?” The look in your eye made The Masters hearts beat at an unusual pace. It was so bright and pure, how could The Doctor not see it?

“If you’d let me, I definitely will.”

“Of course I would! I trust you.” You stated, smiling widely. He swallowed thickly, feeling his chest swell. Was it, emotion? Good, happy emotions? Just then, The Doctor returned with Yaz. The latter of which seemed startled at how close you were to the new addition. She went to speak but The Doctor put her hand up.

“It’s fine Yaz. They’re just talking, it’s a good thing.”

You found that over the next couple of days, he tended to stay close to you. Not that you minded, you really enjoyed his company. It was so refreshing. The way that he would sit up with you in the library, reading and discussing random things. Or eating breakfast together. He even stayed at night sometimes until you fell asleep. Everything you were grateful for, it made you look forward to your next adventure.

———

And that’s how you found yourself, sat with Yaz and waiting for the aliens to return. The last step before he was allowed out. She had to make sure he was weapon free, and discuss his explosive habits. You just wanted him there for the company, getting fed up of being the third wheel.

“She’s really drilling him isn’t she?”

“Probably. It’s all she’s been doing.” You mumbled back, resting your head on a higher step.

“I suppose he deserves it after everything.” To that, you didn’t respond. You knew what she was saying, but at the same time you couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. He’d been so kind to you.

“Right gang!” The Doctors loud voice met your ears and you flinched. Looking up, you found that the pair had returned.

“All done. So we can be off.” She went to the console, getting ready to set a course. The Master slipped on his jacket, wandering round until he was stood by you.

“Yaz I overheard you say something about the sea. So I was thinking we could go to this water based planet. It’s filled with hundreds of fish aliens. Every two hundred years they hold a festival. We can go there.” The Doctor rambled, punching in some numbers before pulling some levers. Beside you, the man furrowed his brows, knowing full well which planet she meant.

“Aren’t they hostile to humanoids?” He remembered folding his arms. She just looked at him.

“Not if we behave. Didn’t think that would bother you.”

“I am trying you know.” He rolled his eyes, masking his true thoughts behind her plan. Soon enough, the tardis landed and The Doctor head out with Yaz in hand. You followed behind, coming out to find a busy street, so full it was almost overflowing. She wasn’t wrong, every person looked like some form of fish. One man even had a sharks head. There were decorations hung up, stalls and booths of party materials and gifts. Yaz gleamed, holding the blondes hand and kissing her cheek repeatedly.

“God they’re sickly. How do you put up with it?” The Master shivered, looking away from the women. You shrugged, looking around at all the streamers.

“I got used to it a long time ago.” There was a hint of sadness in your response that The Master didn’t miss. his hand found purchase on your lower back, rubbing it in comfort.

“At least you’re not alone now hm?” For a moment, you stared at him. But he was right, you really didn’t feel alone with him beside you. Slowly, you began to really smile and The Master felt proud.

“Let’s explore shall we, if I walk off I’m sure she’ll follow” He was correct, The Doctor scrambling to follow him as he head off down a street. It was kind of funny to watch as she scolded him within the first five minutes. The Master just stood there letting her rant.

“She has so much patience doesn’t she?” Yaz admired, a subtle glare being sent his way.

“I was thinking the same thing about him.” You admitted, making the girl gape at you. Giving her a shrug you spoke,

“Yaz he’s literally harmless right now. He’s got nothing. I know he’s a master manipulator but he said he’d try. So let’s just assume he’s telling the truth.” Yaz just sighed, choosing to stay quiet. It was clear she wasn’t on the same page but you didn’t mind.

“I won’t walk off again. I swear on both my hearts, just please stop kissing.” The Master argued with The Doctor, leaving her highly embarrassed. Yaz too was blushing now and you just laughed.

“Right. Whatever. Let’s just enjoy the festival ok?” The Doctor said, taking Yaz and starting to walk again. Snickering, The Master glanced over at you and held out his hand. Moving closer, you approached with a small smile.

“Are you sure? I know you’re really trying to fit in but you don’t have to hold my hand.” However, you really wanted him to do so but tried not to seem that way.

“I know I don’t. But I want to. How else will you keep up with us running?” He said in jest, reaching forward and taking your hand in his.

“Plus, if you’re here I can keep you safe.” Your cheeks flushed over, smiling shyly and linking your fingers securely. He chuckled, carefully pulling you along the road.

“How are they breathing?” You asked curiously, realising that the fish were too walking around dry land.

“Think like, turtles and wales. They can survive in both terrains. Like that but more complicated. Some have tanks on their heads. Some have air holes. Some have the ability to adapt.” He explained well, looking over some chrome shaded shells. They were very pretty, different shapes and sizes. Glancing around, The Doctor was nowhere in sight.

“You really expected her to follow her own instructions?” The Master dawdled, moving along to the next stall. Keeping close to him, you just huffed a little.

“Not really, but still. If you weren’t here then I’d have been left on my own remember.” His grip on you tightened, pulling you to his side.

“But I’m here now. And while I am, you’re not going to be on your own. Come on, let’s find her before she has another hissy fit.” He reassured before taking off to look for his fellow time lord. Meanwhile, you felt yourself blushing once again, grinning to yourself like an idiot.

You both looked for over thirty minutes, the girls were nowhere to be found. Also, you noticed some of the locals giving you less than pleasant looks.

“God this is ridiculous. I agreed to her silly little plan and she just vanishes. What is she doing?”

“I don’t think we want to know, Master.” You muttered, earning a surprise laugh from the man. He smiled down at you with a subtle warmth to his features.

“Very true. Let’s find a place to sit hm? I’ll figure something out.” Liking his idea, you followed him to a stall with a few seats outside. He pulled out a chair for you, taking a seat opposite.

“Don’t try any of the drinks. You’ll get sick.” The Master told you, resting his elbows on the table. It was getting busier, the alien sky growing dull. A man, or what you assumed to be a man, walked by with a grimace. A few others were staring over with disgust.

“Why are they looking at us like that?” Your voice was timid, trying to avoid any unwanted attention. He scoured the area, clicking his tongue in annoyance.

“Like I said, the creatures here do not like humanoids. It baffles me that she still proceeds to bring her companions to places like this.” Realising your discomfort, The Master placed his hand on your arm.

“Hey, just focus on me.” Trying to do as he said, you hummed and kept your eyes on him.

“What if they went back to the tardis?” You thought out loud. The Master pursed his lips ever so slightly.

“Maybe. But what would be the point of that?” For a while, the two of you sat there talking. Mostly it was you listening actually, but you didn’t care. You enjoyed his stories, his adventures, even if some were slightly deranged. Even so, you stayed invested the whole time. Furthermore, The Master loved how you engaged with him, asking questions repeatedly until you could understand better. He could hardly remember the last time someone spent so much time with him.

“Why can’t I have the drinks here?”

“Well because, some are made from worms. Some have toxins in them. Some would send you straight to sleep. And others would…” The Master trailed off, like he didn’t even want to finish what he was saying. You knew though.

“It could kill me huh?”

“Yeah. So let’s stay away from them ok?” He urged, his concern making you smile. Giving him a nod, it was almost comical watching him relax. The people around you were very loud. A mixture of high and low voices. Some arguing, some cheering. It was a little overstimulating but something you had grown to know. Scanning around, something caught ahold of The Masters attention. Something that made his eyes narrow darkly.

“I say we just head back to the tardis. The Doctor would rather me be there.” The Master decided, standing up suddenly. Before you could say anything, he helped you up and began walking back from where you had come. He sounded serious.

“Is everything ok? Did I do something?” Worried that you had bored the man, you rushed to keep up with him. He just looked down at you confused.

“No, not at all. I just figured it would be the best thing to do. The festivities are really kicking off and we’ll get caught up in it.” He was half honest, turning back and continuing down the path. The street lights came to life, the locals roaring in joy. All at once, hoards of people gathered in the street and started to follow a parade float down the way. None of them seemed to care for social awareness, shoulders pressed together and screaming at each other. Out of nowhere, a couple came barging into you, sending you tumbling back. When you looked up, The Master was gone from your view. You felt your heart drop and got yourself up quickly. There was no clear route back to the tardis, the way was blocked by the parade. Remaining calm, you swallowed thickly and began to tangle your way through the crowds. It was hot, sticky and you felt as though you could hardly breathe. Before long, a creature spotted you and used his pointed fin to practically smack you out of the way. Your side hit a jagged wall harshly.

“Get away earthling!” A few others laughed before carrying on with their celebrations. Blinking back tears of frustration, you stayed against the wall as you walked, trying to just blend in and get through the crowd.

“Excuse me.” A grainy voice caught your attention at the end of the first street. Just one more to go and you’d find the tardis. To your left was a small shop with an open window. Just outside stood a tall man, face resembling a hairy frogfish. It was grotesque looking too, as though he cared very little for his looks.

“You look worn out, care for a drink?” Turning back to the window, the man produced a glass of pink liquid. Bubbles formed at the stop of the glass, a fizz to it. Remembering The Masters words, you were quick to shake your head.

“No thank you.” Perhaps the creature didn’t know how it could affect you, but something was keeping you on high alert.

“No? You’re too good for my drink? Just because you’re human?” It stepped forward, eyes filled with anger.

“No it could kill me…” you tried to reason but the thing just laughed mockingly, putting the glass down with a thud.

“I must say. For a human, you’re very alluring. Different…” something that resembled a tongue slipped out past its lips. You suddenly felt very cold, moving backwards.

“I bet you’d do so well…” It saw you as a new thing to use and play with. In a second, he was in your face, a webbed hand gripping your face forcefully. The other dragged down your side and groping your hip so hard it hurt.

“So small as well. So frail. I could break you…” the smell of his breath, along with his disgusting words made you feel sick. Your stomach churned. In a moment of desperation, you brought your knee up to hit him right between the legs. The creature groaned in pain, releasing you from his hold. You wasted no time in turning and bolting through the street. Ignoring everyone, you barged through with no other thought in your head, just get away from him. You took a sharp turn into a side street, hunching against the wall and inhaling far too quickly.

Worried wasn’t the correct word. No. Right then, The Master felt concern he didn’t know he could even muster up. Going back to the tardis wasn’t even in his mind anymore. That stupid heard of fish that cut you off were lucky that he had no way to harm them. He just had to find you as soon as possible. But how? The place was packed out, making it hard to move. Even so, he pushed through and shouted out your name repeatedly. The locals were shouting back, trying to push him out but The Master just shoved them back. He really didn’t have time for them. It wasn’t safe for you to be alone. Growing more and more frustrated, he sauntered over to a stall and slammed his hand down on the table.

“Have you seen a young, human, female?” The darkness on his voice put the fish lady on edge. She gawked at him for a moment before nodding.

“Well yes actually. I saw one talking to the lovely man who owns the bar over there.” For once he was grateful the creature was talkative and turned to see the bar. He ran across, looking around everywhere. But you weren’t there, all he saw was a door slamming shut. Deciding to pay no notice, he carried on, coming to a slight dip in the pavement. The relief he felt in his hearts should have worried him, but that didn’t matter when he took a peek down a side street. You were sat against the wall, chest heaving as you tried to calm yourself. He could instantly see a scratch on your cheek and rushed to your side.

“(Y/n)?” You jumped in shock, but quickly settled down upon seeing him crouched beside you. More tears filled your (e/c) eyes, your breathing still erratic. Tentatively he placed his hands on your shoulders, bringing you closer.

“Breathe with me ok?” you nod, doing your best to follow his lead but you couldn’t stop yourself from being scared.

“(Y/n) you need to try-“

“No no he’s going to find me.” You cut in frantically, looking past him to see the end of the alley. The Master tensed up, hearing the fear in your voice.

“Who?”

“The- the man. He offered me a drink and I s-said no like you told me, but he g-got angry. He was touching my s-side and my face and-“ you took in a sharp breath, trying to collect yourself even a little. “-and he said I was..small and alluring. That I’d be good..that he could break me…” as tears spilled down your cheeks, The Master felt his blood boil. He was seething, wanting nothing more than to find that man and rip him in two. The idea of someone touching you almost made him snap.

“I’m going to kill him.” His teeth grit together as he went to stand.

“No please don’t leave me please!” You cried out in a panic, grabbing onto his hand desperately. The Master was grounded almost immediately, ducking back down and pulling you into his embrace. Winding your arms around his neck, you cried into his chest. He let out a breath, rubbing your back in effort to sooth your trembling figure.

“I’m not going anywhere I promise. Let’s get you back to the tardis ok? Get you warm and where I know that disgusting thing can’t get to you.” He spat the last part, easily lifting you and starting the short walk back to the ship. Though you didn’t say anything, you kept a firm hold on the man and he knew you were listening to him. Stepping inside the ship, it was vacant, which he was glad to see. Whatever The Doctor and Yaz were doing, wasn’t his priority. You were. He took you through the ship to a room you didn’t recognise. A bedroom. Reluctantly, The Master placed you down on the bed and took a step back. Seeing your exhausted face left a bitter taste in his mouth and he hated it.

“Is this your room?” You asked, looking around the dark room and taking it in. The sheets were soft, black plaid, the bed frame made of mahogany. Around the space there were matching drawers and a desk that had piles of books. On the back wall was a lit fireplace, giving the room a subtle glow. It was also quite neat.

“Yes. The Doctor let me have a say in it. Do you like it?” The Master knew you did, he could always read you so well. Nevertheless, you nod a bit, rubbing your face harshly.

“It’s cosy.” Disliking how down you sounded, he moving to quickly find you some fresh clothes. A pair of plush pyjamas were provided to him by the security ship. Leaving you to get changed, he made his way to the kitchen getting a glass of water and something small for you to eat. It didn’t take long and once he returned, he saw you sat back against the pillows.

“I brought you these.” Gazing up, you watched as he set the items on the table beside you gratefully.

“Thank you.” You sipped on the water, soothing your dry throat. After hanging his jacket up, The Master took his place next to you on the bed. You dropped your head onto his shoulder, nibbling on one of the biscuits he’d brought you.

“Thank you for finding me..and for carrying me. It won’t happen again.”

“Don’t apologise. I couldn’t just leave you.” The softness of his voice was nice, making you feel less like a nuisance.

“Is The Doctor still not here?” Placing the empty glass down, you looked at him to see his head shaking. You just wanted her to fly far away from there, but of course she was always preoccupied.

“I wanna leave.” You whispered, feeling ashamed for how much that short interaction had affected you. Lifting his hand, The Master wiped your cheeks dry tenderly.

“I know you do sweet girl, I’ll make sure we do as soon as she’s back.” That somewhat settled your anxiety, tiredness creeping in slowly. Almost shamefully, you looked at him longingly, wanting to feel that safety once again. It would be so needy, so pathetic. More to the point, why would he do something like that? Perhaps there was a chance, yet you felt as though it would make you seem even weaker. Did that really matter?

“Can I-“

“You don’t have to ask love.” Without question, The Master slipped an arm around you, bringing you to lay flush to his side. The way your whole body eased up was instant, head resting against his chest easily. You allowed your eyes to close, curling into the man the second he allowed it. Seeing you fall asleep in his arms, The Master knew he was already too far gone.

———

In a fit of laughter, The Doctor and Yaz returned to the tardis hours later. They were arm in arm, brightly coloured leis around their necks. The younger even had a funny looking hat sat on her head. Not expecting it, they were surprised to find The Master sat on the stairs. His hands were clasped together firmly, anger still apparent in his eyes. But The Doctor knew something was wrong.

“What happened?”

“After you two ran off? Nothing at first. Then there was an incident but it’s fine. We just need to leave here right now.” even though he sounded urgent, the girls were apprehensive. Yaz folded her arms.

“And why is that? We had fun out there.” It took everything inside of him for The Master to not lash out. Instead, he looked at her slowly before standing.

“Yes. You two had so much fun. You’ve been gone for six hours. You both just left. I said I would agree to your rules, Doctor. Yet you’re the one being careless?” He scoffed, coming to stand in front of them. She knew it was true and hung her head in shame.

“Fly away. Now.” For once, The Doctor actually listened to him and sent the ship away into orbit. Even though he had left you sound asleep, The Master yearned to rush right back.

“What happened? Why are you so worked up?” Yaz was obviously confused, leaning back against the console. Only then did The Doctor realise something, her eyes shooting around.

“Where’s (y/n)?”

“Asleep. She’s asleep, let her rest.” He replied sternly.

“What happened to her?” The Doctor asked impatiently, now completely alert. Yet all the man did was glare.

“So now you care huh? You left her alone with me, when I’m supposed to be here to learn from you. You’re lucky I li-“ stopping himself from saying too much, The Master took in a deep breath and cracked his neck.

“One of the locals didn’t act too kindly towards her, let’s just say that. But I brought her back here. She’s not hurt. She’s fine now.” The Doctor let out a sigh of relief hearing this, putting her hands together almost in a prayer.

“Thank you.”

“Yes well, I said I’d follow your rules and regulations..” brushing it off, The Master just shrugged. Seeing right through this, the blonde gave a shallow smile.

“You’d have done that regardless.” She pointed out, lifting herself to sit on the console. Yaz, still confused, looked between the pair. Accepting defeat, The Master groaned and let his head hit the pillar behind him.

“Only for her. Not so sure about your little pet.” This comment set Yaz off, he could sense her outburst coming a mile away.

“I’m her girlfriend!”

“My condolences.” The Master said to her sadly, leaving the girl practically steaming. Before she could retaliate, The Doctor took hold of her hand.

“Ok, relax everyone. What’s important is that everyone is okay. I admit, I was careless today and in future I won’t do that.” The pair made eye contact, he could see the remorse there and decided to let it go for now. Moving away from the pillar, the master moved towards the steps again.

“I’m heading back to my room, don’t be up all night kids.” For the first time, something he said made Yaz laugh. Simpering, The Doctor nod.

“Look after her.”

“You know I will.” With his signature grin, The Master left to his room once more. You were still asleep thankfully, making it easy for him to slip in beside you. Instinctively, you shuffled closer and wrapped yourself around the timelord. He reciprocated this, holding you close and closing his eyes too.

———

Waking up in his arms the first time was an experience. Shocking you so much that you fell out of his bed. You were also so apologetic, saying sorry so much that The Master told you he was going to remove the word from your memory. Eventually, you came to realise that he really didn’t seem to mind. So, you began to let yourself indulge in that. Seeing how much you could get away with. It started small, with continuing to hold his hand when you went out on your adventures. The Master was easily ticked off, getting irked over the tiniest thing. Especially people with bad manners and attitude. Once, whilst he was telling you about the time he blew up an ancient sun god, you cut in with a very dry, sarcastic comment. “Wow, you actually do have plans that work out then?” You said, smiling mischievously. Thinking it would get you shouted at, you blushed when the man just gave you a firm look. Anyone else, he would have put them in there place. But not you. Then you began to spend even more time with him on the tardis. He even read you that book that he mentioned. You were so happy and it was obvious to everyone around you. Especially The Doctor. At first, it made her anxious. She thought that he had manipulated you, maybe even hypnotised you into being his loyal, little human. That was until she caught sight of the two of you in the library.

“So to chart the stars in a more..easy way you can-“

“Are you saying I’m dumb?” You pouted, not letting him finish. Sitting snug to his side, your legs were over his lap. The Master was wearing his round glasses, one hand on your thigh, the other holding a small sky chart.

“No, I’m just saying you have to learn. It’s a very precise job. In your time even your top astrophysicists can only do the bare minimum. I’m going to teach you properly.” He chuckled before continuing with his demonstration, your focus fully on him. From the door, The Doctor felt hope in her hearts, seeing her childhood friend seem so at peace. She knew she could trust him to look after you.

———

“See you both on Friday!” The Doctor gave Yaz a hug and kiss, before waving you off as well. You looked around for a second before saying goodbye and heading out with Yaz. Every so often you’d both return home for a week, to see family and such. You didn’t really want to go but you did regardless. The Doctor flicked a few levers before walking into The Masters room. He was sat at his desk, papers surrounding him as he inked up a journal.

“I see you still have that unnecessarily neat handwriting then?”

“You say unnecessary. I say, precise. Unlike you I can re-read my notes without having to squint.” He shot back, not looking up from his work. She just hummed, coming to lean on the wall by the desk.

“You didn’t say goodbye.” The Doctor pointed out, noticing the way he paused for a second.

“Well they’ll be back so, there was no need.”

“I think (y/n) wanted to say bye to you though.” He didn’t say anything, just continued to write down whatever it was that had his attention. Sticking out her bottom lip in thought, the doc sighed a little.

“She looked for you.” That made him stop. Sitting straight, he looked up at her with an unreadable expression.

“She did?” He asked, putting his quill down on its cushion. Nodding, she pushed some things aside and perched on the edge of his desk.

“I notice that you’ve become quite close.” Again he remained silent, just looking at her blankly.

“It’s good. It’s good to see you have a real friend.”

“We’re not friends.” He scoffed, dismissing the idea poorly.

“Yes you are, but you want it to be more.” The Doctor called him out, earning a look of surprise from the man.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” The Master uttered, folding his arms across his chest and leaning back in his chair.

“Yes you do. You know it’s okay to feel that way right?” Letting out a huff of irritation, he just shook his head and retorted.

“I don’t feel any sort of way, Doctor. I’m here to ‘learn’ from you. To follow you around and stick to your silly plan whilst you try and fix me.” It almost amused her, how much denial he was in. But after thousands of years, she knew him all too well.

“Last time I checked, my suggestions didn’t involve reading stories and studying. Or cuddling in the library. It definitely didn’t involve sleeping in the same bed.” That effectively left him speechless, casting his eyes down to the desk bitterly.

“So you can sit here and say you’re just doing all that because of me. Or because it’s some ploy to get out of here faster. But we both know that’s a lie.” The Doctor concluded, drumming her fingers against the surface below her. Closing his eyes, The Master inhaled before returning to look at her.

“Fine, you got me. I didn’t think it would ever turn out like this. Makes me feel strange.”

“You mean happy?” The Doctor laughed, watching her old friend falter slightly.

“I suppose. It’s nice to have someone there, someone who really wants to spend time with me. She’s the first person in a long time to do that of her own free will.” He admitted, rubbing his eyes as he spoke. It was the sad truth.

“That’s good.”

“No it isn’t. I’ll just end up hurting her.” He spat, clenching his fists as that doubt crept over him. The Doctor simply shook her head.

“No you won’t. These past few months you’ve done everything you can to make her happy, to keep her safe. You never let her out of your sight.” It was true, he knew that. Though, deep down he felt that fear, like it just wasn’t enough.

“I know. But still, what if it’s not enough?”

“Don’t think that way. (Y/n) is really attached to you, and you have the biggest soft spot for her. If you’re both happy, then that’s all that matters.” The Doctor told him earnestly, placing a hand on his shoulder. For once, he didn’t shove her off. But could he allow himself to have this?

“I can’t believe I’m talking to you about this.” He half laughed, getting up and walking across to his bed before sitting on it. Grinning, The Doctor stole his office chair, wheeling it over to the bed and sitting in front of him.

“No it’s fun, exploring your inner emotions and your love life.” Her giddiness made him cringe.

“Ok. Never call it that again.” He grimaced, making The Doctor cackle even more.

“Didn’t know you had a thing for teddy bears.” Now just confused, he looked around until he spotted the fluffy bear sat on his pillow. Rolling his eyes, he reached over and picked it up.

“(Y/n) brought it in here last night. She must have left it by accident…” he snickered, looking at the toy fondly before continuing.

“You know she has clothes for it? Like a whole wardrobe, just for the bear.” The Doctor watched him, lips upturned. Guilt began to creep up on him, for being so wrapped up in his own mind.

“I should have said goodbye…”

“Yeah. But it’s okay, she’ll be back in a few days.” The Doctor reassured him. He never wanted time to pass faster.

———

Friday rolled around, The Doctor had parked the tardis in its usual spot and left the doors unlocked. She busied herself around the console, tinkering with a few loose wires.

“Can you pass me a clamp?” Holding her hand out, The Master moved around and gave it to her. She knew he was getting impatient.

“I can hear your brain ticking from here. Relax a bit.”

“Why is it taking so long?” The Mastee grumbled, staring at the doors.

“They’ll be here s-“ just then, Yaz burst through the doors.

“I’m back!” She yelled enthusiastically, running over hugging the blonde woman from behind. Laughing, The Doctor turned and hugged her back, listening to the events of the past few days. With a roll of his eyes, The Master sighed and leant against the console bored. Now he knew how you must have felt all that time.

“God if you two continue to smack your lips together I’ll throttle you both.” He threatened, rubbing his temples.

“Awe do you feel left out?” Yaz joked, hanging from her girlfriend’s arm.

“From you two? Absolutely not. How revolting.” Both girls laughed at his disgust, moving away from each other.

“Go snog in your room, just not in front of me.”

“Can I trust you to fix that circuit?” The doc picked up Yaz’s bag from the floor, looking at the man across the room.

“Obviously. I’ll do a better job and you know it.” He deadpanned, earning an angry look in response. However Yaz was quick to pull her away and leave him to finish her work.

———

You were only slightly late, well almost an hour. But your bus to Sheffield had been delayed so there was nothing you could have done. Thankfully, you found the tardis where it always was and head straight for the doors. Inside, you were met with a soft clinking sound. After walking forwards quietly, you came to see The Master hunched over the console, linking up two wires with clear skill. You’d never seen him working like that before, it was interesting. He was so engrossed in his task, sleeves rolled up and brows furrowed. Taking a piece of metal, he used a small machine to solder it in place and close up the circuit. Wiping off his hands, The Master stood straight and his eyes met yours. You broke out into a smile, rushing over and throwing your arms around his neck. Taken aback, The Master stood frozen for a moment, not expecting that at all.

“How long have you been there?” He pondered, coming to secure his arms around your middle. You hugged the man closely, letting out a small laugh.

“Not long, I didn’t want to bother you.”

“I wouldn’t have minded.” He sighed, wondering how he’d get you past the point of caring about that. Still, you stood in his arms content, speaking again once a few seconds had passed.

“I missed you…” hearing this, The Master felt the beats in his chest working overtime. He tightened his grip on you, not knowing how to respond to that. Though, he felt exactly the same way.

“I missed you too.” Even though he said it quietly, you heard, looking up and smiling happily.

“You’re blushing.”

“I don’t blush.” He scoffed, avoiding eye contact and suddenly feeling very warm.

“I dunno, your hearts are beating very fast.” You placed your hand against his chest, proving your point further. Although he loved your rare confidence, he couldn’t let you get away with too much. Taking hold of your hand, The Master easily manoeuvred you away from him.

“Oh, are they?” He tilted his head, stepping closer and closer until you were pinned between him and the console. Dipping to your level, he leaned in, his cool breath hitting your face. Your eyes were locked together, heat creeping up onto your cheeks. Shamefully, your eyes flickered to his lips before looking back up. He noticed, a smirk appearing.

“You’re blushing.” He teased, letting go of your hand and placing his own on your waist. You couldn’t speak, your words coming out in a jumble, and that pleased him. He loved to see the effect he had on you, it was thrilling. Noticing the hopeful look on your face, he placed a tender kiss to the top of your head. Stepping away he tucked his hands away into his pockets with a proud smile. You stood frozen, hands gripping the edge of the console. Footsteps could be heard approaching, The Master giving you a smug smile before moving to the other side of the console.

“Ah hello (y/n)…are you okay? You look a bit flustered.” The Doctor pressed her hand to your head in deep concern.

“I’m fine, just warm in here…” you lied, giving her a half smile and trying to collect yourself. Both girls were unconvinced, but you just tried to seem relaxed. Shaking her head, The Doctor walked around punching some coordinates into the console.

“So me and Yaz will be off now.” Snapping out of your daze, you followed her movements confused. Noticing this, she let out a noise of annoyance.

“Did you not tell her? I said to tell her when she came in!” Exasperated, the doc scowled at The Master, though she really should have expected it.

“Must have slipped my mind, I was distracted.” He lied, giving you a wink that went unnoticed by the others.

“Anyway. I’m taking Yaz to a spa for the day, after our last attempt failed. Is that okay with you?” The Doctor was going regardless, but a verbal confirmation would make her feel better.

“Yeah of course. Go enjoy your date.” Before they left, The Doctor gave her usual speech about making sure The Master behaved himself.

“You have my word Doctor. I won’t do anything you wouldn’t.” Holding his hands up, she felt secure enough with his answer and guided Yaz out of the ship. Now alone with him once again, you grew jittery. You were so close just moments ago, so close. You knew how you felt for him long ago, but over the months it had grown tenfold. A part of you also longed to go out into the universe with him. Just like Yaz got to experience with The Doctor. Sadly, wondered if what he did before was merely for his own entertainment. With your head telling you it was a game, and your heart saying he really cared, which could you trust?

“What are you thinking about, love?” The Master slowly made his way back round to you, stoping a few inches away.

“I just, wish we could go somewhere fun.” Being somewhat truthful, you lifted your shoulders slightly.

“Well, why can’t we?” This response took you by surprise.

“Because your tardis is locked away somewhere.”

“Who said anything about using my tardis?” He chuckled, brushing some hair out of your face whilst you tried hard not to blush.

“She really shouldn’t have left me to fix her console. It’s very easy to remove a DNA lock.” Giving your nose a little boop, you laughed quietly at his cockiness.

“So, what do you say?”

“What if The Doctor finds out?” You pointed out, so close to giving into the temptation he was offering.

“Come on dear, you know I’m better than that. She’ll never know.” Not even needing to hear that, it convinced you even more and you nod quickly. The Master grinned wickedly, spinning on his heel and beginning to expertly pilot the tardis. You watched excitedly, noticing how steady the ship was whilst in flight. Although great, The Doctor did have a hard time keeping in control.

“Where are we going?” Going to his side, he simply smiled down at you before the ship settled once again.

“Take a look.” He nod towards the door, your chest fluttering with anticipation. It was like doing this for the first time all over again. Pulling on the double doors, your eyes went wide at the scene in front of you. The first thing that caught your attention were the purple bricks that outlined a mechanical road. Tall, grey creatures were walking along, with black robes and oblong heads, their hooved feet carried them into several buildings in the area. Speaking of, the area was filled with hundreds of brightly colour skyscrapers, a mixture of slates, teal and sapphire shades. More to the point, there was actual flying cars, something you thought you’d never get to see. They moved in conjunction, keeping your attention for longer than necessary, watching how they’d ascend and descend whenever needed. Slowly, you let go of the door and stepped out into the new world. It was warm as well, not a cloud to be seen in the mauve sky. From behind, The Master followed you, making sure he locked the door. He didn’t want any trace of what he was doing for The Doctor to find, and a stolen tardis would definitely be a sign. The look of pure joy on your face made his hearts feel complete, as he came to stand beside you.

“Do you like it?” In all honestly, it was perfect, exactly what you’d always wanted to see. Instead of giving a verbal response, you rotated and hugged The Master. He beamed, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you from the ground with ease.

“Thank you, thank you. It’s amazing!” You told him, kicking your legs up behind you just before he could set you down. He pulled away, leaving his hands on your waist.

“I told you I knew the place.” You had a twinkle in your eye, realising he remembered that conversation. Taking your hand, The Master began to walk down the road until you stopped him.

“Are we safe?” It felt safe, everything felt very normal, though you’d had one too many incidents before.

“You think I’d take you somewhere that wasn’t safe? I’m not The Doctor.” He almost seemed offended, making you squeeze his hand tighter.

“I picked a date and time I’m a thousand percent sure nothing will happen. I triple checked.” This revelation nearly caused heart palpitations, she had never done that before. Tucking yourself into his side, The Master felt just how grateful you were and wrapped his arm around you. With another kiss left on the crown of your head, the two of you walked along the street as the steel cars soared overhead.

———

You genuinely couldn’t remember a time you felt happier. Even after a hundred trips with The Doctor, this one topped them all. The Master was taking you to every single place that caught your eye, peaked his interest or knew that you’d love.

“Oh there’s something else, over here.” Fingers laced together, The Master tugged you over to a smaller building with a metal veranda. He spoke to the towering alien, handing over a few small credits before receiving a cone in return. You both stood in the shade, keeping out of the way as to not bother anyone.

“What is it?” Looking into the cone, you saw little, dusted spheres. They did look intriguing.

“Sort of like a truffle. But with ice cream in the middle.” Using the spiked fork, he held one up to your lips, allowing you to eat one easily. It had a different taste to the ones from earth, sweeter and softer in texture too. It was evident that you were enjoying them, letting The Master feed you some more. On the other hand, he felt as though he was in a trance. You were just eating. You weren’t doing anything special or extraordinary. Yet he just couldn’t help himself. Lifting his hand, The Master swiped his thumb under your bottom lip, removing a dot of cream. Freezing, you blushed and gazed up at him with big eyes, which certainly wasn’t helping his conundrum. His hand lingered there for longer than neeeded, brown eyes wandering over your face shamelessly. He cleared his throat and tossed the his empty cone into the bin near the shop.

“Come on, I have one more thing to show you.” The Master sounded different than normal, more mellow if that made any sense. Still, you went with him blindly, walking through the quiet streets and admiring the architecture.

It didn’t take long for The Master to find what he was looking for and, after a brief walk, you gasped at the sight in front of you. Just below a pier, there was a glistening lake overshadowed by ancient trees. They grew ebony leaves, with white bark that looked so vibrant. Letting go of his hand, you rushed over to the stone balustrade, leaning over to see the pearlescent water better. It reflected of the sky, giving the surface a lilac glow. Amused by your fervour, The Master approached you with his hands clasped behind his back.

“Stunning, isn’t it? The bottom of the lake is lined with diamonds, they run below the surface of this entire planet. It’s how they got their fortune.” He explained, resting his arms on the stone wall and looking out at the view. And it was a good one, the landscape could occupy your mind for a while. But something else had it for now.

“It’s beautiful. Thank you for showing me this. Thank you for the whole day. I won’t forget it…” there was a twinge of sadness in your thanks, thinking it would be the first and last trip of its kind. The Master didn’t look at you, a tension in his brow. He was never good at comforting, or being completely honest. Around you, however, that side of him did tend to show itself more.

“I know The Doctor takes me to amazing places, and I’m so thankful but, it’s not like this. She’s spontaneous in the best way, and so lovely but-“ you frowned, unsure of how to finish what you were saying. To be honest, there was so much you felt you couldn’t say as it would ruin the day. Silence settled between you both, nothing but the ripples in the lake, and distant alien chattering could be heard. You were deep in thought, that much was clear, but he would never invade your privacy to find out what it was about. A question weighed heavy on his mind, one that he’d been mulling over for a long time.

“Would you come with me?” There was an unmissable tremor in his voice, breaking the silence and your train of thought. Slowly, you turned your head to look at him, finding that he was still unmoved.

“One day, if I pass The Doctors stupid test and she thinks I’m ’good enough’, will you travel with me?”

“Yes.” There was no hesitation, your mind had been made a long time ago. The Master had his eyes on you in an instant.

“I’d love to go with you.” You smiled, telling him everything he needed to know. You weren’t lying, there was no malice anywhere. No more needed to be said. Instead, he moved closer, hands coming up to cup your cheeks.

“You really mean it?” His guard was completely down, letting his forehead rest against your own as he asked.

“Of course I do, I want more times like this. More of you…” You concluded in a whisper, as The Master trailed his left hand down the side of your neck. The corner of his lip twitched upwards, the confidence you knew all too well finally returning.

“You have me.” With that bold statement, he closed the gap and pressed his lips against yours, capturing you in a sweet kiss. A raging blush claimed your cheeks, moving your arms around his neck and drawing him in closer. It was as if the last piece of a puzzle was fitting together. Reluctantly, he pulled back, taking in your flushed appearance with pride.

“Do you have any idea how hard it’s been, keeping myself off of you?” The Master laughed at his own internal battle, thumbing your waist gently.

“Why did you? You could have kissed me earlier.” Your heart was hammering in your chest, liking that you’d both been feeling exactly the same.

“When I knew The Doctor could interrupt at any moment? No, I didn’t want her ruining anything.” Your fingers toyed with the hair at the base of his neck as he spoke, sending a small shiver down his spine.

“When did you become so considerate?”

“For you? A long time ago, love.” The Master pressed your back to the wall you were both once leaning against, his nose bumping against yours.

“Did you not realise, how I’ve been treating you? Did you never notice how conveniently safe you were when I was there? Don’t you understand, you’re the only reason I agreed to The Doctors mindless plan?” Your breath hitched at this admission, taking everything in.

“I knew you kept me in the clear but…you stayed, because of me?”

“Of course I did. Spending time with you is worth The Doctors incessant rambling. It was the only way I knew I could be with you, without anyone noticing.” The Master was so close, his lips brushing yours with every word he said. Once more, you blushed brightly, loving the flattery he was supplying.

“Honestly? I would have jumped at the chance..I’m glad you did stay.”

“And I’m glad you were bold enough to check on me, were you so worried?” Cocking his head to the side, The Master traced over your lips, and down until he was gripping your jaw with intent.

“Of course I was, I thought you were going to die. I hated seeing what you did to yourself.” It was hard to talk about that day, everyone was hurt, especially him. Seeing him laying there, under that rock, you thought you’d lost him before you even had a chance. A stray tear rolled down your cheek before you could stop it, however the man just left a kiss in its wake.

“Don’t cry pet, I’m fine, I’m still here.” You couldn’t help yourself anymore, pulling him down until your lips met again. The kiss was deeper this time, an outpouring of emotions that had been hidden for too long. His tongue pressed against yours, dragging out a guttural wine. The Master revealed in the sound, caressing the curve of your waist and dragging his hand lower. You were grateful for the lack of people in the area. Your hands moved to grip his arms and your lungs began to burn but you didn’t care. Parting from your lips, The Master left a trail of kisses along your jaw lovingly, then he moved back a bit.

“Have I mentioned how cute you look, so flustered?” He smirked, pecking your lips once more then finally letting go. You just avoided his eyes, finding the ground far more interesting.

“The Doctor might kill you if she finds out you know?” He just rolled his eyes when you said that, grasping your hand once again.

“Well she doesn’t have to know quite yet, does she?” Giving you a playful look, The master made sure you stayed by him as you both began walking again.

“You’re lucky I’m a good liar. She really wouldn’t approve.”

“Oh but I thought you wanted me to stay as long as possible?” He feigned sadness, causing you to giggle at his big eyes. You wrapped your arms around his middle whilst approaching the tardis, he made no complaints. Apart from the fact that neither of you actually wanted to go back, that is.

———

The Doctor and Yaz reappeared around five hours after The Master had got you both back. You were impressed with how precise he was, but why were you surprised? When they came in, neither of you were actually in the console room.

“What do you think they did all day?” Yaz asked, following The Doctor around as she piloted.

“I’d imagine reading or something?” The blonde shrugged, not paying it much thought.

“You don’t think he’d try to escape? Or what if he hurt (y/n)?” She exclaimed, earning a snort of laughter from her partner.

“I highly doubt that.”

“Why? After everything he’s done! He’s a monster.” Yaz came to stand directly in front The Doctor, clearly anxious. Sighing, The Doctor rubbed her arms.

“People change. Give him a chance.”

“I don’t know how you can say that when…” Yaz carried on with herself, listing multiple reasons of why she hated the man, and why he wasn’t worth the effort. Up the first flight of steps, The Master stood around the corner, listening to it all. A continuous reminder of his past and all the wrong he’d done.

“Don’t listen to her.” Your voice startled him, you hadn’t been there earlier. Instead of replying, he kept his ear towards the women talking. He wasn’t one to be offended by these things. No, he was more concerned about how you saw him. The Doctor could be very convincing, maybe even Yaz could get into your head. Suddenly, you stepped forward and tilted his head back to look at you. Knowing he was going to speak, you leant up and kissed him softly, keeping him quiet. Taken by surprise, The Master shamefully melted into you, holding your shoulders for support.

“Don’t listen.” You repeated once you pulled back, giving him a smile then walking down the steps.

“(Y/n), have a good day?” The Doctor grinned once she saw you. Giving a small shrug, you lied,

“It was okay.” Even though it was the best day you’d had in years. Frowning, Yaz went closer to you.

“But are you okay?” It was as if she was checking over you.

“And why would I not be okay?”

“Being alone with him?” She said like it was common sense. Giving her a slight glare, you nod.

“I’m fine, Yaz.” Your response was sharp, making the girl huff and look to The Doctor. She just pressed her lips together, unsure how she’d get her girlfriend to relax a bit. But she knew it was something that desperately needed work, especially if she wanted this attempt of therapy to work.

———

Their dates became more and more regular, which was fine by you. The more they were gone, the more you got to do with The Master. Each trip got more thrilling than the last. From seeing supernovas to ancient earth, you were counting the days until you could leave with him. Meanwhile, Yaz was just happy to be away from The Master. Her mind couldn’t be changed, she just couldn’t trust him.

———

One day, as Yaz sat at a candle lit dinner with The Doctor, she put down her menu and looked at her. Sensing some unwarranted anxiety, The Doctor looked back at her confused.

“When is he going to leave?”

“Why would he leave, I haven’t finished with my sessions yet?” Confused, the doc poured herself a glass of water.

“Because, I think he’s hypnotised (y/n).” Her statement made The Doctor freeze up a little. She knew that Yaz noticed your closeness to the man.

“Yaz, I think they just get along well. I’d be able to tell if he was using hypnosis.” The Doctor tried to put her mind at rest, but it was fruitless.

“There’s no way she’d choose to be close with him after all he did to us. To you!” It was annoying Yaz, how rejected her lover was being about the whole situation.

“As I said, people can change. He’s made good process you know? He really is trying, try to consider that they’re friends?” With that suggestion, The Doctor picked up her glass and took a sip of her water.

“Friends? I wouldn’t be surprised if they were getting it on back in the tardis.” Yaz scoffed, The Doctor almost choking on her drink. Coughing it down, she looked over at Yaz baffled.

“Okay, I don’t think that’s what’s going on. I also don’t ever want to imagine that going on in my ship.” The Doctor denied, shivering at the idea. However, she really wasn’t stupid and knew that she had to keep lying to Yaz. Just until she brightened up a bit more. If she did at all.

“Well I’m just saying, they’re a bit too close lately.”

The master buttoned up his shirt, fixing the cuffs with little care. You rolled your eyes, making sure his collar was straight.

“It’s like you want us to get caught.”

“That would be thrilling.” He chuckled, mocking your previous escapades and moving closer to you. You just laughed, hitting his chest gently before sinking down into the floor. Your back rested on the couch as you sat between his legs. Placing a hand on the base of your neck, The Master worked out a deep knot you had there.

“Achey?” He teased.

“Shut up.” You were quick to retaliate but just groaned as the tension left your neck. The male merely smiled, happy to help.

“I can hear them now you know, flirting. Disgusting.” His lip curled in distaste, making you laugh out. Resting your head on his thigh, you gazed up at the man with big eyes.

“That’s very hypocritical you know.” You said, earning a raised brow from him. The Master just leaned forward, placing a soft kiss to your lips.

“I know.” You really did love how brutally honest he was, especially when it came to the other love birds. Speaking of, he pulled away very quickly and seconds later the door opened. You busied yourself with a random book that was discarded by the fireplace. Behind you, The Master picked up with his work, as if he had a whole new energy about him.

“Ah there you two are! See Yaz? Everything is fine.” The doctor beamed, sitting herself beside the man on the couch. Yaz didn’t say anything, just looking between you both with reservation. In all fairness, you were testing the waters by sitting in that position.

“Good to see that you’re actually keeping out of trouble.” The Doctor nudged him on the shoulder, yet he never strayed from his papers.

“Of course, how could we ever get into trouble. She’s very well behaved.” The Master moved one hand, patting your head in a patronising manner.

“I think she was just referring to you, Master.” You told him, shutting the book and leaving it by your side.

“Well I know, (y/n) wouldn’t do anything out of pocket would she?” If only she knew, you thought after The Doctor spoke.

“Wow you’re writing fast, have you had a triple shot of coffee or something?” Yaz watched him stunned, seeing how quickly his hand was moving.

“Hm? Oh no, not coffee.”

“Did you eat something then? Like chocolate, that’s got a lot of sugar.” The Doctor added, agreeing with Yaz’s observation.

“Not chocolate, but I did have something sweet yes.” He stated simply, a smugness hidden in his tone. You had to bite your tongue, suddenly feeling very embarrassed.

“Got any to share? I am pecki-“

“No.” He snapped, not allowing his fellow Timelord to finish what she was saying. Everyone looked at him, them with confusion and you with amusement.

“Don’t be so greedy.” It was as if Yaz jumped at the chance to be annoyed with him. Stopping his writing, The Master slowly peered up at the woman with vexation.

“I can be whatever I want to be.”

“Ok, ok no fighting please.” The Doctor almost begged, clearly finding it hard to deal with them butting heads.

“We wanted to talk to you both, what should we do tomorrow?” She put the question to the pair of you.

“Oh we get a say do we, I thought only your precious angel got to choose?” The Master quipped.

“Don’t start that. Come on.” The Doctor shot back before a full on shouting match could start. Letting out a heavy sigh, he sat straight and put his hand onto your shoulder.

“Why don’t you pick?” You felt as though as though he was gripping into you to ground himself more than anything else.

“Oh so you want your favourite to pick instead huh?” The Doctor probed, earning a dirty look from her girlfriend.

“Well of course.” His eyes found Yaz when he responded, clearly trying to egg her on more.

“As if she’d ever want to be your-“

“A party.” You voiced your pick loudly, hoping to keep the situation calm. Smiling, The Doctor leant forward to see you better.

“Yeah? What kind?”

“A cocktail party, like a nice, classy one where you have to put a bit of effort into how you look. Is that okay?” You looked around nervously, hoping your idea wasn’t too mundane.

“I think it’s a fantastic idea! Oh and I know just the place!” The Doctor genuinely seemed very pleased with your choice, a large grin etched into her features. She began to ramble about the planet in question, about the fancy parties the richer portion of the place hosted. Still, Yaz was only engrossed in how close you were to The Master, how his hand hadn’t left your shoulder. Then, her eye caught onto something and she gasped in pure horror.

“Yaz? Are you okay?” The Doctor enquired, not liking that she looked so unsettled.

“I didn’t know you got hurt so badly the other day?” Upset clear in her inflection, she crouched down next to you and reached towards your free shoulder. Upon looking, you found that your sleeve had fallen off, leaving a dark bruise of full display. Coyly, you pulled the material over it and tittered slightly.

“Apparently I did yeah, must be from when I fell.” You bluffed, pretending it really was sore. It wasn’t a complete lie, on your last outing at a group, you had fallen down a couple of stairs.

“Poor thing, aren’t you?” The Master said in false pity, giving you those big, sad eyes. Unable to speak, you suddenly felt as though everyone was staring at you and just turned back to the fire. He had an irritating smile on his lips, returning to his work as a way to deflect. Yaz was still fussing over you, thinking that you may be in pain or need something for it. Having said that, The Doctor watched your discomposed behaviour, the redness in your cheeks and shifty eyes. She then looked at the man next to her, his overtly windless demeanour and self-satisfied expression. It was as if everything clicked into place and the realisation hit her square in the face. Mouth agape, a million thoughts ran through her mind. Feeling her eyes gawking at him, The Master muttered underneath his breath,

“You’ll catch flies if you’re not careful.”

“And you’ll have to catch Yaz’s hands if you’re not careful.” Speaking through gritted teeth, The Doctor brought a muffled laugh from the man. He closed up his notebook and looked at her. She really didn’t know what to do at the revelation, he knew that and smirked. They couldn’t speak about it in front of you or Yaz, so she stayed silent, putting a pin in the matter. It wasn’t that she was worried per-say, it was just unexpected and new.

“Honestly Yaz, I’m okay.”

“But it looks bad.” As sweet as it was, you didn’t appreciate the unneeded ego boost The Master was getting.

“She’s fine Yaz, come on.” Standing up, The Doctor pulled the young woman up to her feet.

“See you tomorrow!” Perplexed, you watched as The Doctor practically dragged Yaz out.

“She seemed very concerned, love.” The Master droned out in levity, making you turn round fast. Getting up, you practically pounced on him, only to be caught instantly.

“I’m going to kill you.” You said with fake fury, even though you were the one being held at the waist.

“I look forward to it.”

———

In the depths of the tardis, you rifled through the many wardrobes that The Doctor had. Each were filled with unique articles from all times, planets and periods you could imagine.

“What about this?” Yaz asked, holding up a mid length, tight, red velvet dress.

“Oh yeah that will look great on you!” You smiled, urging her to choose it. Yaz walked over to you with it in hand, trying to help you decide. But you were being picky.

“Come on, (y/n). Who are you trying to impress? Anything will look good if you’re wearing it.” She laughed, leaving you alone to decide.

Back in your room, you took your time getting ready, doing your makeup and hair with great care. It was rare you got to go to anything labeled as fancy, so you wanted to savour it. After successfully zipping up the dress, you straightened it out and looked in the mirror. It was black satin, off the shoulder and figure hugging. The boning lined your body perfectly, going down your middle and around the bust. Coming to just above your mid thigh, you paired the dress with some chunky black heels before deciding you were ready.

When you got to the console room, you found that everyone was already there.

“Sorry, was I holding everyone up?” You questioned anxiously, standing by the mechanism. The Doctor shook her head, looking dapper in her tux as usual.

“Not at all. We’re nearly there.” She let you know kindly. Yaz definitely chose the correct dress, having now tied her hair into a bun, it really suited her.

“Where are we going anyway?”

“SinCeria. A planet adorned with six, silver moons that rise every six-hundred years. They hold a week long celebration for it and on the last day, you get to see the event.” The Master answered you, slowly making his way to you. He was dressed in an ox-blood coloured waistcoat, sporting his favourite pocket watch and black suit pants. The sleeves of his ebony shirt were neatly rolled up to his elbows, hands away in his pockets. You blinked rapidly, trying not to make your interest obvious. The Master was anything but discreet however, clearly ogling you with no guilt. You felt small under his gaze, but in the most flattering way.

“And presto!” The Doctor yelled as the ship landed with a thud, sending you tumbling. Of course, you were securely caught by The Master, his hands holding just under your arms.

“Shall we head then? I’m well excited for this.” The Doc grabbed hold of Yaz’s hand, taking her out and holding the door open. You quickly followed, whilst he kept a possessive hand on your side. After exiting the cleaning cupboard the time lady had parked in, you found yourselves in a long, extravagant hallway. It was lined with gold architrave against ivory walls and a soft, noir carpet. Each alcove held a hologram, a collection of creatures in a prestigious uniform.

“They’re the former kings of this planet.” The Master told you, noticing your curiosity.

“They look like geckos.” You smiled, thinking that you looked quite sweet. At the end of the corridor were two of said alien, clearly guarding the entrance door. With a quick flash of her psychic paper, The Doctor gained entry for the four of you and the doors were pushed open.

“Oh wow..” Yaz breathed once seeing the interior. It truly was breathtaking, with high arching ceilings being lit up by crystal chandeliers. In the middle of the grand room there was a dance floor, donning black and white checked tiles. Around that, were round, glass tables fitted with matching chairs. The centre of them held an elaborate, champagne shade candelabra, flickering away. Looking around, you saw a bar on the left side of the room with a few smaller tables and people mingling. It wasn’t too busy, the evening only just having started. A band were playing adjacent to the bar, a gentle tune to ease people in whilst guests were still arriving.

“Happy?” The Doctor looked at you hopefully. Grinning, you reached over and hugged your friend close.

“Yes it’s exactly what I meant, thank you.” She just chortled, rubbing your back then letting go. Beginning to explain the usual itinerary of the party, no one noticed the clear irritation of the man behind you.

“-so in about ten minutes, things will really pick up, won’t they?” The Doctor finished her sentence, looking at The Master for some support. She didn’t expect to find him glaring daggers at her and raised her brows in bewilderment. If looks could kill, she’d be six feet under.

“Yes. It will.” He grit out, never changing his look. You wanted to do something to calm him from whatever it was that got to him, but you couldn’t in front of everyone.

“Relax mr grumpy.” Yaz baited, clearly not caring for his foul mood at all. He ignored her, scouring the area some more.

“Care for a drink?” A well-mannered voice came from behind, causing the small group to turn. It was another gecko like man, holding a tray of what looked like yellow martinis.

“Ah thank you.” The Doctor took two at a time, first for you and Yaz, then for her and The Master. Taking a small sip, your eyes squinted at how sour it was.

“What is it, pure lemon?” You coughed, covering your mouth politely. Yaz was the same, handing her glass back to the blonde. She found it hilarious, laughing so hard that she struggled not to spill them. The Master was quick to finish his, taking your glass and putting them both on a nearby table. More people had arrived, a shared vigour across the room. The music picked up in beat, just enough to move too.

“You two don’t mind if we go and dance?” Yaz asked, though not really needing the answer, as she was already pulling on The Doctors sleeve.

“Please do.” The Master practically hissed, which was now starting to worry you. The woman dismissed it however and rushed off to the dance floor. Now alone, you faced The Master with your arms folded.

“What’s the matter?”

“Everyone here is looking at you.” His voice was low, icy even. Bemused, you looked around, eyes everywhere quickly moving on from you the minute you clocked them. Suddenly, you felt very self aware and backed up into his hold. Wrapping his arms around your waist, The Master pressed a kiss to your marked shoulder.

“You see now? I also don’t really approve of you hugging The Doctor like that.” He rested his chin there on your shoulder. “Not when you look this good.” You giggled as he pecked the crook of your neck a few times.

“You’re too kind.”

“Only to you, dear. Come now, I want to show you why this party even happens.” Lacing your fingers, The Master walked you through the crowd, over to the other side of the room. You stayed close, still feeling as though you were being watched. Then you saw it. In front of you was a floor to ceiling, glass window, giving the perfect view of space outside. The sky was a cascade of deep blues and purples, bright stars dotted throughout.

“Look.” The Master pointed down, only for you to see the heads of the Six Silver Moons.

“In about an hour, they’ll be at the perfect height for viewing.” With a hand placed on the small of your back, he stood beside you guardedly. Simpering, you leant into his body, basking in his warmth.

“I would have brought you here eventually. I knew you’d love it, but I’m happily surprised The Doctor actually considered you for once.” He mumbled by your ear, his thumb moving against your side soothingly.

“At least you’re with me. That’s all I really care about now, honestly.” You responded, too shy to look at the man. You didn’t know what he considered the pair of you to be, and that did bother you a little. Were you just like a potential companion with a few benefits? Or were you more? Was it real? You doubted he’d succumb to a human custom, like calling himself a ‘boyfriend’, and perhaps he didn’t even want to commit to you fully.

“How can you think so low of me, pet?” The Master turned you till your eyes met, a scowl present on his face.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be reading my thoughts?”

“Well they’re very loud.” He defended himself, holding onto your waist securely. When you tried to avoid his gaze, he simply followed your eyes.

“I told you, you have me.”

“But what if-“ he didn’t let you finish, tipping down and capturing your lips with his own. You shut up very quickly, clinging onto his arms.

“Do you understand? Whilst I may not use your earthly titles, I consider us an official item, if that’s what you’d call it. As far as I’m aware, you’re mine and that’s not going to change.” Hearing him say that, filled you with an unmatchable amount of joy, a huge smile adorning your face. Happily, you jumped slightly and hugged onto him tightly. Chuckling, The Master swirled round with you in his grasp before placing you back down.

“Care to dance, pretty?”

“How formal. I’d love to.” You bit your lip to suppress your smile, allowing him to guide you onto the dance floor. Surrounded by other couples, he took one hand in his own, then placed his other in the curve of your waist. You held onto his shoulder, letting him take the lead and move to the violin central music.

Time passed swiftly, each tune different from the last. The Master held your hand, twirling you in time with the more up-tempo song. You couldn’t stop laughing, feeling so light and happy in that moment. He pulled you back into his embrace, your back flush to his chest. Looking up at him, he just grinned back at you.

From the crowd, Yaz appeared and rushed over to you both.

“The Doctor wants you.” She said, eyes fixated on The Master and sadly making him part from you.

“Shan’t be too long, ok?” He rubbed your shoulder softly, before glaring at Yaz then heading off.

“Wanna get a drink, (y/n)?” Nodding, you head to the bar with her, standing against the cool marble surface. All the staff were busy, but you didn’t really mind.

“Are you ok, like really ok?” The urgency in her voice did more than confuse you.

“I’m fine, Yaz. Are you ok?” You half laughed, resting one arm on the bar.

“I’m worried about you. I think you’ve been hypnotised.” She exasperated, and you heard yourself groan.

“Can you stop saying that?”

“If you’re being threatened or you’re scared, you know The Doctor will help you right? You don’t have to be freighted.” She touched your arm with care, as if what she was saying was true in any sense.

“Believe me I’m not frightened of him, at all. And he’s not trying to hurt me. Or you for that matter.” You said with certainty, trying hard to convince her. Yet, Yaz was unchanged. Standing straight, it was clear that her temper was rising.

“He’s a monster, (y/n). He’s clearly playing with you. Before long he’ll switch up on you and kill you. All of us maybe.” Now you were beginning to get angry, feeling a protectiveness over him. You knew he could look after himself, but you just couldn’t help it.

“He’s not! Why can’t you just drop it?”

“Because it’s getting out of hand now. You’re with him all the damn time!” She raised her voice, jaw clenched in frustration. People around you started to talk in hushed voices. Not wanting to draw any more attention, it took everything inside of you to remain calm.

“So what? It’s none of your concern. He’s doing exactly what The Doctor asked, he’s following her rules and being good. So what if I spend a bit of time with him?” Trying to play it down, you looked around for a bartender, hoping a drink might ease the argument.

“‘A bit’? It’s more than ‘a bit’! You’re practically attached to him!”

“As if you don’t follow The Doctor like a little puppy?” You shot back, making the girl turn red.

“Well I am her girlfriend! And she’s not a mass murderer!” At that, you gave Yaz a look of boredom, as you both knew of her past.

“Drinks ladies?” A voice cut in.

“Yes, thanks.” You responded without looking, fully focused on ending the stupid spat.

“Yasmine, I’m fine. You really need to stop this. It’s only going to get in the way of The Doctors sessions. He’ll get vexed and try to escape or something.”

“Good. I want him gone. He’s like a parasite and you’re his victim.” The hatred in her words, the pure desire to just throw him out was beginning to really affect you.

“What is wrong with you? You say he’s the evil one yet you’re the one being spiteful. All because he’s being nice to me?”

“Nice? You were dancing five minutes ago! He needs to leave before he brainwashes you into doing something worse.” Yaz was fuming, fist in a tight grip against the bar top. At your wits end, you just scoffed out a laugh.

“If you think dancing is the worst thing we’ve done together, you’re clearly blind.” Her face fell when you said that, dread slowly setting in.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Yaz prayed she was wrong, but one look at your face and she knew she wasn’t. “No. No there’s no way.” She said in distress, covering her mouth in shock. “How could you do this to us?”

“Excuse me?” Taking a step back, you glowered at her.

“After everything he did to us? You’re going to just let it go? You’re going to..to..”

“To what? Say it, I dare you.” Your chest was rising and falling at an odd pace.

“I don’t even want to think about it. You’re such a backstabber! When The Doctor finds out, you’ll both be done for.” It was hardly a threat, knowing that The Doctor was a tiny bit more level headed than that. In fact, she sounded like a bratty child.

“What you’re going to go tell on me? Get us in trouble? Is she your girlfriend or your mother?” You poked fun at the scenario, starting to feel worn out from all the yelling. That seemed to be the straw that broke the camels back, since Yaz snatched her purse up into her hand.

“You know what, i wish you two would get yourselves done away with! I’ll be happy if i never have to see you again!” She screamed before turning and storming off. Closing your eyes, you inhaled deeply. It was all too much, sadness overwhelmed you.

“Your drink, miss.” Mumbling a small ‘thanks’, you took the flute and shot back the green, fizzy drink without a care. It didn’t taste too great, but you hoped it would numb the emotional pain you felt. It burned as it went down, in fact, it really burned. More than the average spirit would. Your tongue also reacted strangely to the drink, an instant numbness arriving.

“I’m hope you liked it.” That grainy voice. Cautiously, you turned your head and came face to face with the same man from the fish festival. How could you have missed it? “As it will be the last you ever have” His hairy face brought instant discomfort. Then, you remembered The Masters warning: ‘don’t try the drinks. You’ll get sick.’ Panic slowly came over you, your feet moving you away from the man. The glass slipped from your hands, smashing on the solid floor. Who knows what concoction he filled you with, but it was nothing good. Yasmines final words were starting to feel more like a death sentence. Who knows how long you had before anything more drastic started to happen. Gawping, he just slid over the bar like it was nothing, taking a few lethal steps closer.

“Don’t worry. You’ll fall asleep first. Gives me the chance to do as I please with you. I’ll be able to feel as your body goes cold.” He licked his stringy lips with anticipation. You only had one thing on your mind, finding The Master. You’d rather die in his arms than with this disgusting creature all over you. The tips of your fingers began to tingle. Looking down you found them turning black, your heart going unnaturally fast.

“Don’t be scared, I’ll take good care of your body.” It cackled, reaching its fin like arms forward. On cue, you turned and made a run for it, ducking in and out of the crowds with it hot on your tail. People all around were showing their concern but you just carried on, looking around desperately for The Master. Your legs were getting weaker, black spots clouding your vision in a matter of minutes. You strained yourself until you could barely walk anymore, ending up in the far right corner of the room, in the shadow of the large window. The moons were nearly at their peak, sparkling in the night sky.

“No where left to run human. You really were too tempting to resist. I had to trace you across the universe, but it will be worth it.” Your back hit the wall as it was speaking and closing in on you. How could you keep yourself conscious, how could you get the attention you needed?

“Master!!”

———

The Master had found The Doctor talking with one of the royal guards, learning more about the planets eco system in the process. She had smiled once seeing him.

“You wanted to talk to me?” He questioned, being met with a perplexed look.

“Uh no? Why?”

“Yaz said you did?” He explained, gesturing back to where he’d just come from. He really disliked leaving your side when you didn’t know the planet.

“What? But Yaz told me she was going to find a bathroom?” Now they were both left puzzled.

“So she lied to us both?”

“It would seem so, but why?” The Doctor posed the question, resting back against the wall behind her.

“You know why, I imagine she’s telling (y/n) off for being near me.” Rolling his eyes, The Master exhaled and looked into the crowd. Neither of you were there now. It felt like something had shifted, like a penny was dropping. Where had you gone?

“I’m trying, I just can’t shift her mind.” Guilt was laced in what she was saying so The Master made no further comments. Glancing around the room again, he caught wind of something that made him lour.

“That man was at the festival…that first place we went. I didn’t know their kind were on the guest list?” Looking back at The Doctor, she saw who he meant and nod.

“Neither did I.”

———

Yaz had made a beeline for The Doctor, wanting to explode and give The Master a piece of her mind.

“You!” She screeched, stopping in front of the purple clad man.

“What are you and (y/n)?” Yaz demanded an answer, making The Doctor rush to interfere. However, he held up his hand in wait.

“You know the answer to that, Yasmine.” Choosing to be honest, the young girl was taken aback.

“You’re..together?”

“If you want to put it into earth terms, then yes you can say that.” The confirmation felt like a nightmare. She looked at The Doctor furiously.

“Are you okay with that?”

“Yaz-“

“No Doctor! He’s a manipulative asshole!” She was yelling again, making a few guests and a guard look over. The Master didn’t care to pay attention, instead he was searching the room.

“Where is she?” He asked, getting no answer when the two woman were still bickering. There was a nauseating unease in his gut, their voice making him wince internally. He pushed between them.

“Where. Is. She?” The sharpness of his voice got her attention back again. Yaz tried not to show her fear.

“Who cares! She betrayed us for you!”

“You’re literally the only one who’s hung up on this. The Doctor doesn’t even care!” That made Yaz snap back round to her girlfriend. During the dispute, The Doctor had been sane and calm. It was in her better nature.

“Master!!” Your voice rang through the room, alerting the man instantly. Without thinking, he rushed off in the direction it came from, pushing through with no remorse. Your hands were now fully onyx, with little feeling left in them. The creature was right in your face, a fin sliding over your front and making you feel sick.

“Humans are so soft…” his fishy breath hit your face harshly, and you used all your will to push him back. That made him angry, a fin coming down and slicing across your middle. You let out a whimper of pain, almost falling but keeping your balance.

“Stupid girl, you’ll be mine in a few minutes. I’ll claim you as my own, my own little human sl-“ there was a bright flash. When you looked, it was gone. The Master stood there, eyes wide with terror. With the dark colour etching up your arms, he knew what it was. Blood seeped out of the cut on your stomach. He barely put his stolen TCE away before he was at your side. With what little strength you had, you pushed yourself into his arms just in time for him to catch you. “You came…” even your voice was weak now.

“Of course I did, I should never have left you.” He said, pressing a hand to your stomach firmly. Tears spilled down your cheeks, the pain unbearable and the slowness of your heart really scaring you. Finally, The Doctor caught up just as your legs gave out. The Master was fast, picking you up easily and turning to the woman. Your arm fell limp at your side, head rolling against his shoulder. Seeing you, her breath hitched. Instead of speaking, she began to run, snatching Yaz on the way and heading straight into the tardis. Yaz did watch as The Master carried you down to the med bay, her last words to you now scarred into her brain. He lay you on the bed where he once rested carefully, then rushed around to try and find an antidote.

“What are you thinking?” The Doctor asked in a rush, going to help him with whatever he needed.

“I don’t know. I think he poisoned her, judging by the reaction. It’s like her body is..” he shook his head, swallowing down thickly. She’d never seen him like this before and it scared her. It was really bad. The Master was a mess, flittering about from place to place. He began to ramble, spitting out different ideas and treatments. Slipping in and out of consciousness, you could only let out a strangled noise of pain. It was kink your lungs were folding in on themselves. After giving a set of instructions, The Master went to you once again. Taking hold of your hand, he almost flinched at how cold you felt. There was nothing he could say, he doubted there was anything he could do. Even when the doctor injected you with a blue liquid, it was futile. How could you go from laughing and dancing in his arms, to this? In such a short amount of time. The room fell quiet, your laboured breathing made the atmosphere dense. They knew it was far too late. She watched as The Master stood at your bedside, running his fingers through your hair lovingly. Never being one for goodbyes, The Doctor made her exit in a flurry, making sure Yaz Stayed away too. He could hear crying, not that she deserved to cry or mourn you. Your head went slack, eyes closing as your final breath narrowly escaped. For the first time in a millennium, tears filled The Masters eyes, obscuring his vision. He didn’t stop them, letting them fall. The one good thing he had, gone in an instant, like a drop of water on a lone flame. He now knew exactly how The Doctor felt every time she lose her companions. How she felt when loosing Rose. All of them coming and going like breath on a mirror. Whilst he could live on forever. The thought captured his brain, the most obvious thing. He was your cure. Standing by the top of your bed, The Master rubbed his hands together furiously until they emitted a golden glow, then pressed two fingers on each side of your head, closing his eyes and letting his regeneration energy work its magic. There was no real guarantee that it could bring you back, but he’d risk a life to keep you with him. It was hard to tell at first, with his eyes closed he couldn’t see the gash heal itself. Your hands slowly faded back to (skincolour), life flooding your veins. Eyes shooting open, you sat bolt upright, breathing in so much it made your lungs sore. Everything came back to you at once, your hands feeling around the middle of your stomach. There was no trace. It was gone. Turning your attention to your hands you saw swirls of gold under your skin. The Master took his hands from your head, moving round until you could see him. It all hit you in that moment, everything that had taken place.

“I-I’m so sorry. I didn’t know it was him. I should have know it was him. But we were arguing and I was distracted and-“ hot tears rolled down your cheeks, your words falling into one. The Master didn’t care though, wiping them away whilst sitting on the side of the bed.

“Don’t. Don’t apologise.” His throat was bone dry, making you take his exhausted appearance in.

“Were you…crying?” It was hard to imagine, but all the signs were there. Biting his lip to stop it from wobbling, The Master clasped your hand again tightly, relishing in the warmth and pressing a faint kiss on your palm.

“I thought I’d lost you. It’s been a while since I’ve felt anything like that. I’ve lost so much. So many people that I loved. I couldn’t lose you too.” Unable to stop yourself, you reached forward and wrapped your arms around his middle, your face pressed into his chest. This eased him greatly, his arms encasing your trembling body tightly. Hooking an arm under your legs, he shifted delicately until you were curled up between his legs. Neither of you cared about the dried blood or your ripped dress. It was meaningless now. The Master was cradling you like you could break at any moment, like you just did. Like even the suggestion would make him blunder.

“You love me?” Hesitantly, you gazed up at him. He met your eyes, cupping your cheek and leaning down.

“Isn’t it obvious?” He sounded bittersweet, eyes looking deep into your own. The unexpected confession only made you cry more.

“I love you too.” You choked out, soon met with a deep, passionate kiss. The Master never wanted to let go, holding you against him, feeling your tears mixing with his own. Your hands fisted his now ruined shirt, cherishing the intimate moment. Parting ways, you panted heavily, tiredness overtaking you all of a sudden. Though it was to be expected.

“It’s okay love, you can sleep. I’ll take care of everything.”

———

The Master laid you down in a pair of fresh pyjamas, making sure the covers were over you securely. He left the med bay, walking up and finding both women with tear stained faces. He stopped at the top of the steps, alerting them with his heavy treads. The Doctor stood, looking at him sadly. Beside her, Yaz was clearly inconsolable, sitting on the floor in pure defeat.

“She’s fine. I brought her back.” He said, making the girls eyes grow wide.

“Seriously?”

“You think I’d just let her die, Doctor?” He spoke in a low voice, descending with heavy footsteps. Even now, The Doctor was distraught, knowing they had all lost you for a few minutes. Knowing that the girl she loved had indirectly played a part in that. It was then that The Master changed his course of direction, walking straight towards the blonde. Going against his moral code, he reached out and pulled her into a tight hug where she quickly broke down. He held the back of her head to his shoulder, rocking his old friend as she cried.

“You really saved her?” Yaz asked timidly. The Master, still piqued from the date evens, barely payed her any notice.

“I thought you wanted to kill her. O-or to hurt her…” she trailed off, all her assumptions slowly fading into obscurity. The Doctor pulled away, wiping her face dry the best she could whilst The Master held her up. His hands ran across her shoulders in comfort. Despite everything, the time lords could never truly hate each other. After their lives, they needed each other. They needed that feeling of home.

“I said I never wanted to see her again.” Yaz carried on, trembling in her spot on the floor. “I wished her death…” she finished in a whisper. They both went rigid, The Doctor turned around in trepidation, her mouth going dry.

“No…”

“You said what?” The Master charged over, looking down at the human with a fire inside that couldn’t be extinguished.

“I-I was just frustrated okay? I thought you were-“

“You thought I was hurting her? Manipulating her? Taunting and playing with her like she’s just some pawn in one of my elaborate mind game?” He snapped with venom, making Yaz back away. She couldn’t speak, voice seemingly shutting down.

“Look what happened. Because of your closed mindedness. This is why I hate humans. With your self righteousness and over confidence. Always thinking you’re right.” The Doctor stood back as he berated Yaz, chewing on her thumb nail. Normally, she would never allow this, but it was necessary.

“Unlike you, (y/n) used her brain. She can see past the plans and the killing. Past all the mistakes. She can see me. No, I’m never going to ‘turn good’. But I am going to do whatever I can to keep her safe. I agreed to stay, to try. I was never going to hurt anyone on this ship.” The Master crouched down, glaring deep into her eyes.

“Look what your hatred did. Are you happy now?” He put the question to her, searching her face for a solid answer that would satiate his fury. Yasmine didn’t respond, choking back tears in shame.

“I said are you happy now!” He howled, making the girl recoil, hitting a crystal pillar with force. Now that she was shaking in fear, The Master breathed out a deep sigh, pulling himself up. Turning to leave, he gave her one last cold look and said,

“You don’t deserve to be sad.” Then he trudged back to his room, trying to freshen up. The Doctor could deal with Yaz, hopefully finding an appropriate way of setting her straight.

———

After taking a shower that lasted far too long, The Master stared into the bathroom mirror with confliction. Was his therapy working? Why did he feel guilt? Maybe it was just the day weighing on him. Maybe it was all real emotion. Gripping the edge of the basin, he took in a few sharp breaths whilst moving his head side to side. Part of him wanted to storm the place, find his tardis and steal you away. But you needed to heal. The image of you covered in blood was stained into his memory. It was haunting him. He splatted his face with cold water, throwing something on to wear then pushing on the bathroom door. What he didn’t expect was to see you sat up in his bed, the pyjama shirt he had put you in was now hanging from your shoulder. He missed that dark bruise he had left on you. A symbol to show the universe that you were his.

“You’re supposed to be resting, what are you doing?” His voice made your head shoot round, a smile on your face as he approached you.

“I’m restless. I feel weird. Like buzzy.” You let him know, clenching and unclenching your fists to price your point.

“That’ll be the left over regeneration energy in your system, making sure you’re fully healed.” The Master stood in front of you, eyes wandering over your form numbly, concealing any and all woes. Tilting your head, you stared up.

“You’re sad.” Your statement took him off guard. He just scoffed and looked away.

“You don’t have to hide it from me, Master. I want you to be honest, please?” That was all it took to bring his walls down. He got onto the bed next to you, flopping back against the pillows.

“I’m not sad, (y/n). I don’t know what I’m feeling and I don’t like that.” You frowned as he spoke, crawling up beside him.

“It’s like I’m overwhelmed by a hundred different emotions. It’s awful. I don’t know how The Doctor does it.”

“She’s good at masking her feelings, just like you.” You scolded the both of them, even if she wasn’t there currently. He laughed a bit. Moving closer, you started to play with his hair gently, smiling at the bouncy curls. The Master kept his eyes on your face as you did this, monitoring your smile and your bright eyes. There was still a deep put in the middle of his stomach.

“I was scared. Really scared. Terrified even.” He admitted, voice barely audible. But you heard. Tentatively, you started stroking the side of his head, hoping to help the man open up some more.

“And now I know what Yaz said to you.” You froze, making eye contact with him. “She said she wanted you dead?” You wet your lips anxiously, your hand resuming its movements.

“Both of us actually…”

“I don’t care what she thinks about me. But you? In that moment, when you were gone, I felt so lost.” He was tense, shooting knives at the ceiling with his eyes.

“You quell the racket inside my head. With you, I feel sane. I need you, (y/n). I can’t lose you” the more he spoke the quieter he got, your heart swelling in response.

“You’re not going to lose me. Why do you think I came here as soon as I woke up? I’m not leaving your side, ever.” You soothed, nails scraping along his scalp nicely. “And we can leave together. If you find your tardis we’ll go as soon as you’re ready.” Eventually, your words reached him and The Master relaxed, turning towards you. He pulled you down, holding you against his chest. Instantly you felt safe, nuzzling into him and hugging his waist.

“Trust me, we’re going as soon as possible.” In his mind, The Doctor and Yaz were simply an after thought. He could find his ship in a dual heartbeat, without them knowing, he was just that good. And, with you by his side, The Master knew he could take on anything the universe threw at him.

[starryeyedcas]

Every Destiel Fic I’ve Ever Read [WIP]

Let’s do it! I took this list directly from my twitter

I’m not really going to post my ratings and stuff and I’m not going to copy what I said verbatim because as I grow older my opinions always change and every fic deserves love regardless of what some stranger on the internet thinks! Check these out if you need something new to read :)

Also, side note: A lot of the fics I tend to read are either non-canon or pre S10. If your looking for canon type, recent fics this will not be a list for you and I apologize :(

Also pt. 2: Some of the fics that I have listed on my twitter are no longer available so I have decided to not list them here. It’s very sad because there were some really good ones! Regardless, I’m still trying to keep this list as up to date as I possibly can when it comes to my reading ventures. Either way, I hope you enjoy these fics as much as I do <3

1. NINETY ONE WHISKEY

By komodobits, 401,193 words (not counting other fics in the series)

Please, please, please! Read this if you haven’t yet!! It’s a slow burn, World War II based fic and it’s my absolute favorite fic of all time. In fact I think it may be my favorite story of all time!! I come back to this fic always. If I’m sad, I read it. If I’m happy, I read it. I’ve read it probably 4 or 5 times at this point and it always holds up. I will say though, IT WILL MAKE YOU CRY. Dean and Cas are written VERY well, in fact every character in this fic are written to perfection. You find yourself growing attachments to side characters that you may have even forgotten existed in the show. I seriously cannot recommend this one enough. You will not regret it.

2. A BRIEF GLIMPSE

By cloudyjenn, 12,356 words

I’ll be honest, this one is special for me. This was the very first Destiel fic I ever read back in 2014. That being said, I may be a little biased towards it but I do genuinely think that it’s very cute. It’s a Slice-of-Life esque story with light supernatural happenings; where Castiel is in high school and has a very big crush on his best friend, Sam Winchester. Things start to go awry when Sam invites Cas to a carnival. I won’t spoil too much though! If you want a quick read with some fluff, definitely read this one.

3. SMELLS LIKE ROSES

By unknown :(, 53,828 words

Uhoh! A Djinn fic! I remember this one just hurting me so much. Dean is living his dream life. Everything around him is perfect and he’s mysteriously very happy. When you get to the end of this fic, holy cow the heartbreak. It’s written very well, you obviously can’t go wrong with a fic that slightly follows canon. I really like this one and I might reread it again soon but I cannot stress enough how much it hurts! Stay safe out there.

4. NOT ALL THE WAY THROUGH

By Tracy, around 4,700 words

Shorter fic based around s5 episodes 3 and 4. This one is good but it’s also very painful. I think I like fics that hurt me lol. There are some warnings I want to state! This fic features substance abuse, non con, mentions of torture and A CHARACTER DEATH so please be careful! This is told through Castiel’s perspective and all the summary says is “Castiel’s new life begins and ends with Dean.” So I will leave it at that. (Also as a side note whenever I think of this fic I think of the song ‘And So it Goes’ by Billy Joel. Listen to that while reading and you are sure to shed some tears. Stay safe friends xx)

5. PAINTED ANGELS

By WinnJennster, 105,637 words

This one used to be really popular, so it’s likely many of you have already read it. Either way I will still recommend it. It’s a nice little “reunited” type fic in which Cas is an author and Dean is a painter. I will say, however, that the angst in this fic is HEAVY. Personally, I’m not huge into giant angsty fics like this, or maybe the type of angst portrayed in this one. I just remember feeling a little frustrated by it. YET, this fic has a lot of good memorable moments with some fluff sprinkled throughout. If you love angst, this is the fic for you. WARNING though, you need an AO3 account to read this fic. If you’re not already logged in, you’re out of luck.

6. TWIST AND SHOUT

By Gabriel and standbyme, 97,556 words

Who are we kidding?? Everyone on this website KNOWS this fic. You all could probably recount it backwards, forwards, sideways, upside down. Who knows. All we know is that this fic is a capital S-A-D. When I was in high school, I LOVED this fic. I adored it, no matter how much it made me cry. Because YES there is a MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH. And NO it’s not FUN. Can I be honest? After rereading it, I feel as if Cas and Dean are out of character! Doesn’t mean it’s a bad story, absolutely not. It’s beautiful! I think it’s wonderful and obviously I recommend it. But you could change the names of the boys and you wouldn’t even know its based off two characters from Supernatural. This is my hill and I will gladly die on it. Read it if you dare, but remember to beware OOooOOoooOo (another side note: I had to go to the fic to get the link for this post and I swear to God my eyes watered when I read that first sentence. I HATE and I LOVE this fic all at the same time.)

7. SMOKE IN THE MIRROR

By letters_of_stars, 52,327 words

Oh shoot! Dean is an artist and he needs a nude model!! Who do you think is gonna take the bait?!?! In all seriousness though, I really adore this one. YES Castiel is nude and YES Dean is painting him but if you’re expecting smut right from the get go you are mistaken! I wanna say this is another slow burn?? But it has also been a while since I’ve read it. I just remember liking this one a lot. In my original rating, I gave it a 5/5 so that’s gotta mean something. Another little slice of life with a lot of good moments. Check it out!

8. A HOME BENEATH THE STARS

By CheshireMoon, 71,240 words

Hi, it’s me again. The girl who likes fics that rip her heart to SHREDS. I’m gonna be about as vague as can about this one because boy did that ending catch me off guard when I first read it. So Dean is homeless, right? And Cas is a kind hearted, Good Samaritan, astronomer. When the two meet Dean’s life changes… for the better… I’m gonna leave it at that. You could be ignorant like me and skip over the warnings to this fic and just leave it to good will and faith that this fic will leave you happy and giggly. Or you could do yourself a favor and know what’s coming but not know when it happens. Either way, I still recommend this one. I really like it, just make sure you have a fluff fest fic waiting for you on the other side.

9. THE FACE OF HEAVEN

By orange_crushed, 9,772 words

This one is short and so so sweet. Another type of slice-of-life where Dean is just a gay bartender living his best gay bartending life when he suddenly comes across a fallen star whose name is Castiel. It’s very unique and I love it so much. In my original opinion of this fic I said I didn’t like the formatting? And I think what I meant to say is, I don’t like reading long paragraphs but the formatting to this fic is perfectly fine lol. Still a fun little read and it’s pretty fluffy!

10. SO MUCH TANGLED THREAD

By imogenbynight, 37,428 words

Holy crap! Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES. It’s like, Ninety One Whiskey almost, except there’s time travel, and supernatural happenings, and OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS FIC. It’s ends pretty quick but it’s still so so so good. Please read it, show it some love. I think about this one from time to time and I still smile. Much like with Painted Angels, you need an account to read this one. So make sure you’re logged in! If you don’t have an account you best get that invitation fr.

11. DIAMOND STAR HALO

By had, 4,924 words

Just pure fluff told from Sam Winchester’s perspective. I kind of have a soft spot for fics told from a third party perspective because it’s like they’re seeing Dean and Cas how WE see Dean and Cas and it makes me all giddy, I dunno. This is a good short read and you should definitely read it after reading something really sad and heart wrenching!

12. CINDERWINGS

By bendingsignpost, 181,619 words

STOP!! I love this fic!! It’s a Cinderella type story, there’s a masquerade ball, Dean is a PRINCE. Very fantasy with supernatural elements. It’s WONDERFUL. The way the author writes about the world through Castiel’s perspective is super entertaining and funny and I love the misunderstandings that happen within the story. If you love fantasy and monarchy and magic and parties, this is definitely a fic for you.

13. ONE WHITE LIE

By komodobits, 11.179 words

I can’t lie, komodobits is my favorite fic author and so I am a little biased towards their stories. This one is no exception. It’s hilarious, lighthearted, and fluffy. The range that this author has with their fics amazes and horrifies me. How can one person have that much talent? I have no idea. This is just a komodobits appreciation post, you got me. Anywho, Castiel tells a small lie to the Winchester brothers and they mess with him. Not based in canon, a very slice-of-life fic. I love it, please check it out.

14. FORGET-ME-NOT BLUES

By noangelsinthegarrison, 68,689 words

Ahhh I remember this one. Another slice-of-life, have you noticed a pattern? Sam and Jess are getting married! Woohoo! Of course Dean is in the wedding but so is Castiel, someone Dean has history with……….. Basically there’s misunderstandings and mutual pining and it’s fun. It’s got all sorts of romcom elements with just a dash of angst!

15. MUSCLE MEMORY

By komodobits, 18,961 words

Give me a story that’s loosely based off of 50 First Dates and written by my favorite fic author and suddenly I’m in Heaven. I’m a really big fan of movie AU’s, especially well written and this one is no exception. It’s kind of sad though, but if you’ve seen 50 First Dates then you should expect that. Even if you aren’t a fan of movie AU’s, I would still suggest giving this one a read.

16. KIND OF A FOREVER DEAL

By komodobits, 111,460 words

STOP LOOKING AT ME. YOU THINK IM PUTTING TOO MANY FICS BY THE SAME AUTHOR HERE? WELL YOU LISTEN TO ME PAL, THIS WON’T BE THE LAST ONE EITHER!! Ahem, this fic is awesome and sort of a fan favorite already!! Slice-of-life, teenaged angst, summer camp, LoVe, it’s amazing! The way that the author wrote the friendship between Dean, Cas, Jo, and Victor has me in tears. Very wholesome and heart wrenching, highly recommend!

17. IMPERFECT PROPOSALS

By Fallen_Angel_Meg, 111,082 words

Another movie AU! This is loosely based off The Proposal and filled with fluff! You really don’t see a whole lot of crossover fics that are long like this one, but it’s fun to read and you’ll probably fly through it just like I did. Do you like The Proposal? No? Read it anyways xx

18. CHECKED OUT

By whelvenwinge, 27,127 words

Okay this one, is really good. Like really good. It comes complete with original artwork and fantastic storytelling. Castiel is a librarian and he really despises Dean Winchester, an acclaimed author. It’s sooooo good, I cannot stress enough how much I think you should read this. And you’ll get really pretty pictures to look at! The ending is great, the beginning is great, it’s just wonderful. So what are you waiting for? Run along now and read it!

19. SPECIAL INSTRUCTIONS

By habitatfordeanwinchester, 2,593

This one is just cute. It’s short and fluffy. Imagine Castiel working at a Chipotle and getting special instructions on a mobile order. Can you guess who they’re from? If you’re sad and need a pick me up, just read this one. It’s so cute!

20. C-S-T-L

By komodobits, 90,377

It has been a really long time since I read this one. But I know that I loved every second of it and I was crying during the majority of it. Either because I had just got done reading 91w or because the story itself made me emotional. Either way it’s a fantastic read! Castiel is an android and Dean is tasked with adding him to their army for the WAR. This fic has wonderful world building, really in-depth character exploration, and the ANGST. I’m probably going to read this one again sometime soon~ JOIN MEEEEE

[marzipanlvr]

i have a toxic trait i literally check every 30 min to see if the writers that i follow on tumblr have updated anything and if they do i eat it up every time.. IT'S GETTING OBSESSIVE YALL DONT EVEN..SECOND TOXIC TRAIT...now this one is ACTUALLY toxic..i spam as anon. IM SO SORRY i spam as different types of people but it's actually me because i have a lot of ideas and they have a lot of potential but im scared to say "hey everything is from me!" so i change my typings and wordings and act as different type of anons... call me phantom but pLEASE DONT HATE ON ME A GIRL IS DESPERATE PLEASE IM SORRY im not weird i swear..

btw here's a list of good writers i recommend bcoz im a team player and i will NOT gatekeep and hopefully if u read these writers u can be inspired to put urself out there hehe becoz the same thing happened to me!! i love people's minds YALL ARE TOO CREATIVE 3EWYDUSDHSB

@taelophone - absolute SWEETHEART, tae was my FIRST LUIGI FANFIC WRITER ON TUMBLR THAT I ACTUALLY LOVED AND THOUGHT ABOUT. OMG SO YES MAYBE I AM BIASED AND IF TAE ACCIDENTALLY ALLEGEDLY SETS A HOSPITAL ON FIRE THEN I WILL STAY BY HER SIDE AT ALL TIMES AND TAKE THE BLAME MYSELF AND GET THE DEATH PENALTY WITHOUT QUALMS !!, but in all seriousness tae's writing and how every word is completely tailored to humanize luigi is amazing. the way that i literally get sucked in a time warp whenever tae tries to put luigi's character into perspective. by the way, there was this one anon that typed a rlly long paragraph about how fanfiction is a great way to show light unto all the morals and lessons that luigi is trying to teach us and tae was so sweet about it. literally produced one of most educated response ive ever seen and even encouraged anon to keep sharing??!! like what. PLEASE. id die for tae ID LIVE FOR TAE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ID GIVE U MY LEFT LUNG RIGHT KIDNEY WTV U NEED

@mrsmangi - MRSMANGI IS THE REASON I STILL BREATHE OKAY. mrsmangi is the deny to my defend to my DEPOSE YALL DONT EVEN GET IT. did yall see the pinned post it's literally a link to signing the petition for luigi btw here's the link u guys should check it out

mrs mangi does a GREAT JOB on again, humanizing luigi!! i repeat the word humanizing so much because good writers don't worry about being agreed or disagreed with, good writers worry for the need to HAUNT. i mean this because a good piece of art or literature must impact you in ALL aspects of your life to the point that you think about it even in the little things and mrs mangi does ALL THATT not to mention the fact that the community in the blog is oh so sacred because of mrs mangi's direct hospitality and open-mindedness !! literally using an already existing platform to raise awareness and shed light. and the most popular fics Past Life and Found are just amazing pieces of art im so glad i clicked on it no bcoz WTF.?? WHAT INSTANCE MADE U THINK OF THESE MASTERPIECES? that's insane. you're insane. you're mind makes me go kaboom. I LOVE YOU

@mangionebabymama yall THIS BLOG is literally HEAVEN SENT. 1) the anons are soooo creative 2) mangionebabymama literally matches the anon's freak and ALWAYS GIVES BACK WHAT IS RECEIVED. now that is a TRUE diva. 3) yall seen the recent post? literally saying THANK YOU for being apart of this community ??? excuse me?? no maam THANK YOU for being apart of this community. mangionebabymama is INCREDIBLE. and PHENOMENAL. i would pay real money and give up a piece of my brain to know what's going on in mangionebabymama's head. STOP IT. IM SO OBSESSED WITH THIS SPECIFIC BLOG. MANGIONEBABYMAMA WAS A COMPLETE GAME CHANGER. there is so much CREATIVITY that bleeds out and so much love!! it's a safe haven for all us heathens and sisterwives to be ourselves, most importantly mangionebabymama really moves and inspires people on the DAILYY the writing is top tier, the headcannons or random thoughts are SERVINGGG YALLLL MANGIONEBABYMAMA PLEASE ADOPT ME. mangionebabymama was a late find of mine but oh so precious oh my goooooooodnesssssss !! im so lucky to even be apart of this community and discover the random thoughts or words that mangionebabymama wants to say. i want to say thank you and give a MASSIVE hug but i know that thank yous and massive hugs will never EVER EVER be able to justify how much freedom i feel when i go through that blog. I CANT. if i die soon then the cause of death will be "died thinking of mangionebabymama's sheer greatness." THANK YOUS CANT SURPASS WHAT I WANT TO SAY SO I HAVE TO SETTLE WITH I LOVE YOU. shshwduyshjbsjdk

that's it. :) anw love luigi breathe luigi free luigi!!

[hexgaywire]

"Taking Care of You While You're Sick" (HC)

[Nijisanji EN Boys Edition]

Ft. Vox Akuma, Sonny Brisko, Ren Zotto, And Hex Haywire

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Disclaimer and Reminder; this is based on the characters made by NIJISANJI, not the people behind the character voicing them. If in the future the person expresses or states that fics of this nature makes them uncomfortable I will 100% remove this or anything I write about the characters involved.

F,M,GN?: GN

Warning: Ren swearing like once? Other than that none

Word count: 958

Authors note: Listen if I had to pick one man from each group to take care of me it would be these four. I'm being selfish, I'm sick, and biased but I hope you enjoy regardless. (This is also really short, I wanted to write some feel good stuff, I'm sorry)

Reminder that my requests are open! If you wanna send me one please do!

-------- ••• ------- ✧ °✧° ✧ -------- ••• -------

Vox is very observant and notices you're a little off right away

He takes to canceling whatever he and you have on your schedule today

You have errands to run, laundry to do, homework to do? Too bad you've been bed ridden

He refuses to let you put any stress on until you're 100% better

Vox takes you home and sets you up to be comfortable

"I have to make a quick run to the grocery store, call me if you need me for anything"

He really was quick because it couldn't have been more than 15 minutes before he returns with an arms full of groceries

He fixes you a cup of tea, checking your temperature while you sip on it

Vox rummages around in the groceries and pulls out some fever reducers and gives them to you to take

While you relax he makes you the best soup you've ever had

You didn't realize how hungry you were until you ate, Vox is just happy you're enjoying his cooking

Vox insists on staying the night and won't take no for an answer

He may be a (voice) demon but he's a demon who cares for his clan

Sonny works a lot so he's a little slow to figure out your sick

It was a cough in the middle of a sentence you tried to suppress that got him

Once he realizes your sick, similar to Vox, he sends you home immediately making sure you are not doing anything else except for focusing on getting better

He ties up things at work quickly so he can come over and take care of you, he even takes a couple days off just for good measure

You're not expecting the VSF Commander knocking at your door with your favorite comfort food, meds, and vitamins

But you know it's always welcome

After he makes sure you eat he cleans up for you and then suggests you go lie down on the couch

Sonny does some light food prep for you so you don't have to strain yourself when your hungry

You fade in and out of consciousness while you watch Sonny Brisko putt around your home taking care of little things

When you eventually drift off to sleep he gently checks your temperature with his hand and deems you stable enough to carry to your bed

After tucking you in he can't in good conscience leave, what if something happens??

Sonny grabs a wet cloth to place on your head and eventually sits by the edge of you bed to watch over you

He too eventually passes out and when you wake up you see him there...

You feel safe and cared for knowing Sonny is at arms reach, just for you.

Ren is still learning about human culture

So when your voice comes out horse, he laughs and asks

"What's up with your voice?"

You explain to him that you aren't feeling well today and apologize

"YOUR SICK!? Oh shit uh I've been told about how to deal with this! Let me help you? Please."

How could you say no to him

Ren whisks you away to your room stating it was crucial for humans to get plenty of rest when they aren't feeling well

You can't argue with that and tell Ren you'll take a nap

Once he's sure you're asleep, he runs out to the pharmacy

He returns with almost the entire pharmacy, just in case....

You awake again when Ren places a towel on your head

He smiles down at you hand hands you some water as you sit up

"Staying hydrated is also important when you're sick, the towel thing is also important for... something probably"

You laugh as he rustles around grabbing something else

He hands you a fist full of pills, that's when you notice the stack of medicine boxes behind him

You gently explain to him that taking that amount of medicine could potentially make you more sick

You list off a few medicine names and he hands them to and you take them

"I guess I still have a few things to learn when it comes to taking care of humans..."

You gently squeeze his hands and thank him for being here, because being sick alone is scary

You're lucky Ren is here

Being sick often, Hex hones in that your feeling sick before you do

"You should head home. You're sick."

You're dumbfounded you had stuff that needed to be done, but your thoughts of work are interrupted by the oncoming of a splitting migraine

Resigning with a sigh you excuse yourself to your home

Not two minutes after you settle into bed you get a knock at your door

You're greeted by Hex carrying his favorite soup for the both of you

You invite him in and he asks you to sit and he'll grab anything you need

While the two of you eat Hex turns into a mother hen and asks you for all your symptoms and how your feeling, constantly checking on you

Hex is honestly an angel, he cleans up after you eat, grabs your medicine from your medicine cabinet, he even offers to do any chores you need immediate help with

You feel selfish for making him worry

He assures you that you'd do the same for him, you have done the same for him

It's the least he can do to help ease the burden while your sick

He helps you back to bed and meekly asks if you want him to stay

You'd be honored to have him stay especially since he's such a good caretaker

You thank him for his help and again he says he's just happy to look after you

-------- ••• ------- ✧ °✧° ✧ -------- ••• -------

[crguang]

I feel like in tired days I just wanna hug hsr women and then sway side to side. Maybe a sigh or two escaping bc of the utter warmth and love you can feel from them. Makes u wanna melt into a small puddle.

-🍏

me core… im literally exhausted all the time no matter how much i sleep and hsr women are sooo comforting in their own ways i’d just be putty in their arms. need black swan especially because she has all the time in the world and knows how to cherish intimate moments like no other so it doesn’t matter how long you’d stay there she wouldn’t get bored, just bask in the warmth she’s feeling and tuck it away in her memory for when she’s away and wants a piece of you ughhh

who are the best huggers do we think… himeko on top! wait its actually a bit hard most of them would be great like natasha raises children and sews teddy bears, a hug from her could cure all my disorders. hime’s canonically super comforting so it’s the two of them at the top but then there’s SWAN who would know just the amount of pressure to put and who’s naturally very easy to trust/talk to as described by people… serval would squeeze you so tight but in a “i love you soooooooo much babe” kind of way so she could also save me. yukong’s a literal mother forget it she might win the top spot bc as a foxian i just know she’s always warm like it would be heaven. and ROBIN? HELLO? this actual sunshineee she’d be happy just hugging for half an hour and she’d rub your back or play with your hair omg im sick

acheron is awkward about it and is the type to weirdly stand still for a minute before she relaxes into the hug but if she’s used to it? omg. im biased bc shes extremely comforting to me but one hug from acheron with her chin over your shoulder or her face in your neck, holding you tight enough that you’re reminded of her immense strength and of how safe u feel with her?…… need that. its the same with jingliu, her and acheron would just be so cute about it. seele would give you 3 to 5 seconds, count them and awkwardly pat your head then immediately slip from your hold. she’s also kinda a “what is this?” “affection” “disgusting. do it again” person to me. bronya’s usually efficient with it like she’ll usually hug you for a few seconds before pulling away but sometimes when you start to pull away bc of how used you are to short hugs she’ll just hold you tighter and shut her eyes for a moment.

jade asks what you’re willing to exchange for a hug and ruins the rest of your life (jk…. but not really😕) she’s somehow superficial about it and its more you hugging her than her hugging you, if that makes sense..? she holds you loosely and chuckles, endeared, but that’s about it. calls you a cutie and tucks your hair back behind your ear when you pull away. topaz will tell you she has exactly 35 seconds to spare so u better make it count and she seems like the type to ruffle your hair or something. (she’s checking her phone behind your back 🤫) firefly is soo down for it she gets all giggly and smiley when you hold her tight and will stay like that for as long as u both can.

best for last…. cant believe im saying this but kafka would be a little like jade except that she not so secretly revels in the attention, it’s hidden behind smugness and confidence but the fact that she lets you hug her for this long speaks for itself. she’s not used to it but she knows how to navigate uncharted waters like a pro (its just a lot of performance) so she never recoils or flinches. like jade, you’re hugging her more than she’s hugging you BUTTT she would play with your hair a little and run her hands down your back until the hug turns rated M😞

i realize u probably dont gaf about all that but my brain started running and i couldnt stop it im sorry hfjfkgjd

[jiminsass-istant]

IT'S NOT ABOUT THE HICKEY

This post was triggered by an anon moving around in these spaces trying to explain away the hickey/bite moment as something trivial. I will save my thoughts on the hickey for the end of this post.

First of all, to that anon- Get off your high horse. Not being a shipper doesn't make you superior. You are probably one of those cringey people cancelling queer armies on tw!tter these days. Now readers, sip your drink as you read this short think piece-

OT7 Captains in the fandom bubble:-

I really don't get the superiority complex of so called OT7s who love to live inside this cute little bubble they have created for themselves or as they call it nowadays:- " a curated tl". Cancelling people everyday and actually driving people away from the fandom. Every bio says "multis, solos, shippers dni". What are you afraid of? Little pixels? I have personally followed solo fbs of all members and boy the things I have found! They can get extreme at times, but it takes 2 minutes to fact-check their claims and draw your own conclusion.

I follow wholesome ship pages too, they are a great way to not miss out cute moments between various duos. If you are blocking them out, you'll be swept into whatever the OT7 decide the important interactions are. 🤷

Have y'all watched 'The Social Dilemma' on Netflix? I would actually want all bts fans to give it a watch. A very prominent tech figure admitted that she follows a good number of Tw!tter accounts that disagree with her to ensure that she gets to see all sides and all opinions. When you deliberately 'curate' a timeline to feed only your opinions, to make a 'safe' space that doesn't trigger you, without letting new thoughts penetrate it..THAT! That's the beginning of a cult.

Army is not a cult for defending BTS or for calling out billboard and other big authorities, but army is indeed a cult with the way they move against people within the fandom.

I said what I said.

With a curated 'OT7 captain' timeline, you start internalising things about the artists that the people you follow want to believe:-

1. All true army are OT7 and non shippers. 💫💫

Sure some of them are. But biases exist for a reason, right? If you think people don't run their bias's playlist more than the other 6, you are so deluded. Spotify wrapped'23 was a prime example. With the solo era, the rise of solo fanbases was unavoidable.

2. Your favourites are spotless, impeccable people. 💌💌💌

They are so not. They date, they make mistakes, they hurt people (like we all do). Heck, they might even offend certain groups of people, unknowingly or knowingly. Being ignorant is also a flaw.

3. Everything they say on camera is true.🙊🙊🙊

Everything they say on camera is what they want you to know. As Park Jimin of BTS, as Kim Namjoon of BTS and so on. And yes, your perception of them should be built based on their words alone, but it doesn't mean that you purposefully stay blind in a way that serves your personal projections onto the members. As Jimin once said " please take our words as they are"(Festa 2022). Read between the lines, and you get- "please do not make assumptions about us, please do not project past or future narratives onto us." No matter how much it makes BTS look like a saint, DO NOT paint them as perfect human beings just because they are your idols.

Once you get into the fandom bubble, you start rejecting all opinions that threaten to puncture that perfect bubble. In that process, you end up never getting to know about how some member promotions were horribly managed, how company delayed certain stuff, the obvious company agenda and different business strategies for different members. It's not about victimising members, but calling out the company when they make obvious mistakes. You do not see when hate against a particular member gets aggravated to the point it affects streams and sales.

And musical preference? The way the fandom just collectively decided that if you hate any song except 'ON ft Sia", you are basically an anti. I have no words.. I'll come out and say: I don't like DNA. SORRY JIMIN. Sure it's a great concert song, or maybe at a party, but it's never making it to my down-time personal playlists. Cancel me?

Top Social Artist?

This is my personal opinion. BTS having a huge presence on social media is both a boon and a curse. While it ensures that new fans are made everyday, the bts social media presence is an uncontrolled monster right now. Millions of insta, YT channels- most of them spreading a superficial image of BTS. It's for this reason, there are so many 'fans' out there who just love BTS for the few members and their visuals. I can guarantee you that they don't even know how streaming works, but they'll be sure to have an insta name like "mrs.jeon jungkook". If you made it to this part, I don't need to tell you how certain ships inducted their shippers through these very channels, spreading misinfo about the group dynamics and a completely manipulated idea of the boys, as if it's not real life, but some shitty bl drama.

While the company is obviously doing nothing about this mess, it is YOUR duty to focus on what's important as a fan and participate in projects that plan to counteract this mess. ( Of course only if you have time)

So..what does the hickey have to do with all this?

When you finally grow out of your perfect pure breed OT7 agenda, who considers this group of men a picture perfect family who can do no sin, you'll be ready to view the hickey/bite mark as a normal functioning member of the society who's in touch with reality.

Did I just write "pure breed"..

Let's say the hickey/bite does not actually mean anything intimate in a romantic sense. Sure. Even I think it was probably not an exclusively romantic thing. And this is coming from someone who ships them, but I do not see them as 2 people who are dating each other (because I don't claim to know their personal lives).

An older person biting the neck of a younger person long enough to leave a mark is NOT A NORMAL LEVEL of skinship. For friends, for family, for brothers. And this goes for Korea as well as at a global level. Not only k-jikookers but also k-armies had raised eyebrows when that happened. If you didn't raise your eyebrow at this, you need to go out more, have a social life, hang out with long term friends, idk.

But I'm sure if it was a man and a woman, you would have already declared that they are f@cking.

If you have observed jikook through the years, they have had an abnormal level of skinship that even surpasses skinship within their own group. Reminds me of the Butter photoshoot behind, where JK's hands so naturally slid under JM's crop top, like it was a usual thing. Now if one of them reacted differently or in a goofy way, I'd still brush it under the rug. But what had me scratching my head was the indifference. How close do 2 people have to be, for someone to SEARCH for familiar skin to touch?! Let's not forget how JK always touches JM's neck like a habit, massaging, holding, or just caressing, usually a little inside the collar.

Now if they were a man and a woman, you would have already declared that they are f@cking.

If you don't at the very least, acknowledge that it's an abnormally high level of skinship, and that jikook are at the very least, a highly interdependent, symbiotic, close, 2 souls-1 body entity, the closest duo in bangtan..then you are the delulu here. 🫵

I would advice such anons to stop visiting shipping spaces if you are bringing nothing to the table. (As I always say, opposing views are always welcome as long as you bring receipts and not hate). Maybe spend some time talking to real life people, couples, friends, you know?

[blametheeditor]

if fritz, do to instincts takes a shrunk David (who je my or May not have shrunk) cause he want to take care of him what would happen? How would David be feeling ?

Anon, I am so sorry for how long this took! But, I absolutely adored the question, and while I went a more wholesome route with it, I hope you enjoy it!

Keep Your Distance

Run Down: Life isn’t fair. But so is withholding tinies.

Content Warnings: Cursing. Thinking of others as lesser. Biases

We need more giant Fritz's

________________________

One thing that Fritz has never been allowed to do, and that’s interact with a size shifter who shrunk down. 

To be honest, he’s not really upset about it. Disappointed, yes. Feels like he’s been singled out whenever he’s deliberately told to stay a solid ten feet away whenever he encounters someone who’s stuck at only three inches tall at the most. But he understands the thought of a teenager having access to such a vulnerable figure isn’t exactly appealing. And it only gets worse if it’s known he isn’t a shifter, earning him a fearful look because he doesn’t know what it’s like being so small. 

But he’s known the guards after about a year now. Sneaks out late at night in order to join the weekly check in to see if everyone’s still alive. They’ve trusted him with their lives, and he’s trusted his own to them. 

Yet there’s always been a line drawn when it comes to someone shrinking.

And he respects it. Again, he’s a teenager, and therefore he doesn’t expect there to be any trust he wouldn’t pull someone even if he was a shifter. It is common knowledge he isn’t one, though, and that brought up more than just a few arguments. 

In the beginning, he completely stayed out of them. Nodded along to the rules put in place that if someone shrinks around him, he immediately gets ten feet away, or finds someone to help if it’s a dangerous situation. Never once broke it even as time passed and they became familiar with each other. Everyone promising to have each other’s back. Realized Fritz isn’t the typical teenager and would never treat someone like a toy or take advantage of his size. 

And the rule stayed. Even though Mike said he trusts Fritz and would prefer it if the redhead could literally offer a hand if it’s needed. Even though Caleb gets to pick up shrunken guards at only eight years old. Even though Eggs actively terrorizes those who shrink while the only human is forced to stay a safe distance away. 

It hurt every time Scott shook his head and said the rule is there for a reason. That he doesn’t understand how dangerous he could be. That he can’t fully imagine what it’s like to be that small. 

Not even David would make an exception despite how much he’s praised Fritz for being the one competent person he can trust. Despite knowing the redheaded teenager better than all of the other guards. Despite being more like a father-figure to him than anything else. 

“Out!” 

Fritz is admittedly surprised by the yell even though he only just opened the door to David’s office. But the moment he spots the business man standing only three inches tall on the floor by his desk, and he understands why. 

Just as he goes to close the door, however, he realizes this isn’t a normal situation. 

Stay as far away from the shrunken shifter, yes, but there’s no other shifter to help. No one David would trust. Out of the group, only him and Fritz work at Fazbear Entertainment Center, and Scott wasn’t scheduled to visit sometime today. And one thing he’s noticed about David is the fact that whenever he shrinks, he tends to stay shrunk for multiple hours. 

“May I ask something, Mr. Harrison?” 

Fritz will never admit the infamous glare that normally makes him regret the decisions that earned him it in the first place is the most nonthreatening thing he’ll ever witness when coming from such a miniscule figure. “What?” 

“Are one of the guards coming to help you?” 

David gives him a look. And again, all the intimidation it usually holds is lost. “No, but I don’t need their help. I’ll be fine as long as you shut the door.” 

A sudden feeling of protectiveness washes over Fritz at the thought of David being left completely alone while he’s shrunk, unable to grow again for who knows how long. Because so many things could happen, such as an animal getting in, or one of the animatronics checking in, or one of the staff who’s been screamed at by David coming in and take the opportunity to give the egotistical man a piece of their mind. 

And what if he can’t grow until tomorrow? He’ll just be stuck here all night. No way to get off the ground covered in dust, and bugs, and shoes belonging to people who wouldn’t watch where they’re stepping- 

Fritz quickly slips into the office as his heart thumps painfully against his chest with panic knowing any one of those was a genuine possibility. And he knows he’s being disrespectful not listening to David’s wishes, but he just can’t let it happen. He wouldn’t leave any of the guards stranded without help like that, regardless of how dangerous he is himself. 

“Mr. Harrison,” the teenager begins before he can get yelled at for not obeying. Kneels down in the attempt to not loom so much, doesn’t move any closer to the miniscule figure. “Please, hear me out. It would be dangerous for you to be alone until you can grow back.” 

“I’ve done it before,” the business man snaps. “I don’t need some human pretending he knows anything about shifters.” 

Fritz can’t help a wince at the insult. “Th-That’s not my intention. I’m just worried about the animatronics or anyone else on staff finding you.” 

David’s mouth opens before hesitating. Stares at the wall until finally leaning back as he crosses his arms. ��You might actually have a point.” 

Hope blooms in Fritz’s chest, glad his status as a human doesn’t keep David from seeing reason. “Scott should be able to come by. Or, uh, I-I could take you home.” 

David’s glare returns. Fritz looks down at his hands in shame. 

He shouldn’t have suggested he of all people get David somewhere safe. No matter how times Fritz proves himself to be trustworthy, they’ll never let him get close enough to so much as poke them. Because he’s dangerous. Because he’ll never understand. Even though his first instinct is always to protect them. 

“I’m not a toy.” 

Fritz nods solemnly. “Y-Yes, Mr. Harrison.” 

“If I tell you to put me down, you do it immediately.” 

...what? 

Fritz looks away from his hands to see David watching him intently. Almost feels his jaw drop when he realizes the business man is actually wanting his help. “Yes, of course!” 

“I’m still in charge of you,” the shrunken man growls. “Just because you can pick me up with one hand doesn’t mean anything’s changed.” 

“Yes, sir,” the teenager murmurs earnestly. He would never think about treating someone as lesser than just because of their size. 

David sighs long and hard. Motions for Fritz to come closer. “Give me your hand.” 

Fritz slowly reaches forward to set his right hand palm up only a few inches in front of David like he’s seen the other guards do countless of times. Stares in awe as the shrunken man takes one step forward before stepping up onto his middle finger. 

It takes all of his willpower to keep the digit from twitching. And it only gets worse as David walks further into his palm, the miniscule shoes almost ticklish. But the weirdest thing is the fact he’s so light. An entire person doesn’t weigh more than a dice. 

It doesn’t feel real. He’s seen shifters shrink in front of him. He’s seen them get carried around everywhere. He’s talked to them while they lean against objects that should be impossible to lean against. 

He knows this is real. It’s just hard for his brain to wrap around the fact he’s actually holding the David Harrison. The man never seen without a full piece suit and normally towers a foot above Fritz in height. 

The same one carefully sitting down before waving a hand, looking incredibly tense. “Lift your hand up.” 

Fritz holds his breath as he slowly, carefully lifts his hand up. Tenses when it registers David is completely his responsibility. If he flips his hand over, lets it drop, lifts it up too quickly, the miniscule figure would just fall. With nothing else to catch him. Fully trusts nothing will happen that will end with an injury or death. 

He won’t let either happen. “How am I doing so far?” 

David rolls his eyes. “You haven’t really done anything to earn a proper rating. Hurry up and stand, I would like to get home some time today.” 

Something Fritz has come to learn about David is the fact the business man tends to insult and antagonize more when he’s uncomfortable. Sometimes it’s hard to tell if he’s just in a mood, but there’s no mistake just how tense he is. The shaking in his voice making it clear he’s genuinely terrified. 

The teenager curls in his fingers with the fear David could tumble off at any moment before remembering what Scott normally does when carrying someone around, slowly lowering his hand until it’s cupped against his chest. That makes him feel a thousand times better knowing how much easier it is to keeping the potential of falling to a minimum. 

Then he stands up. Pauses to look down at David who looks around before nodding his head. “You did good, dumbass.” 

Fritz beams at the compliment. “Oh, are your keys in your desk?” 

“Second drawer, in the- Fritz!” 

The frightened yell immediately has the teenager closing his fist to sure his hold on David, looking down at the fearful expression barely able to be made out past his protective fingers. “Are you okay?” 

“You leaned over,” David breathes. And Fritz feels quilt form a bubble in his throat when he realizes the shrunken man is shaking. “You, y-you're a giant, kid. Everything you do is catastrophic for me.” 

Fritz lets the words process for a moment. Looks at how he’s standing, where his hand is, and how David would’ve- he almost tipped David out of his hand. 

“I-I’m so sorry, I can put you down, I’m sorry-” 

“Stop,” David commands, leaving the teenager frozen. “It’s fine. It’s, you wouldn’t know. But now you do know, so you’ll be more careful, right?” 

Fritz silently nods. Slowly uncurls his hand as he tips it closer against his chest. Waits until he’s given a wave to focus back on grabbing the keys to unlock David’s house, quickly straightens back up once he has them. 

“Uh, want me to tell anyone you’re leaving early?” 

“No, they’ll be fine.” 

Fritz takes a deep breath to steal himself. He messed up after not even holding David for five minutes, but he won’t be letting it happen again. “Okay.” 

With that, he exits the office. Takes one look at the busy dining area and turns in the opposite direction to go the back route. 

For David, he bites his tongue to keep from snapping about the jarring turns. Because if he bitches about that, then everything will spill out, including the fact Fritz’s footsteps are so heavy every step rattles him to the core. Though as much of a dumbass the kid is, he’s honesty doing a lot better than David was expecting. Ignoring the fact he was almost dropped into his own drawer, Fritz has been careful if a bit oblivious. 

He's also stayed fairly respectful. David thought there would be a fight that under no circumstances that he will be going into a pocket. Or get automatically poked and prodded out of curiosity because, to his knowledge, this is the first time the kid has ever held a shrunken shifter. At the very least thought he would be grabbed rather than offered a hand. 

This is still the worst decision David has ever made. Trusting a teenager, a human no less without another shifter close by to keep him safe when this inevitably goes south. He can’t take it back now, they’re already out of the restaurant as Fritz follows the path to his house. 

He’ll wait for the inevitable when Fritz realizes just how much power he has. For now, David leans back against fingers he’s pleasantly surprised to be taller than, slowly relaxing more and more the longer time passes and the hand doesn’t snap shut around him. Stares out at the world quickly passing by. Looks up to scowl when he realizes Fritz is watching him with fascination written all over his face. 

David kicks at the kid’s thumb in retaliation. “Am I the first shifter you’ve held?” 

“Y-You are. Scott’s not the only one with those kinds of rules,” rumbles above him. Fritz, no taller than five feet and is more like a puppy than anything, he’s capable of sounding like thunder. 

The business man shakes his head in the attempt to calm his heart down. It’s still Fritz despite currently making skyscrapers make a run for their money. “Hasn’t Mike given you permission to pick him up?” 

“It’s also rare for him to shrink at all,” Fritz shrugs, David cursing when the action nearly sends him tumbling, and the giant didn’t even notice. “And there’s never been a time he shrunk and no one else was around to help. So I just, stick to the rule.” 

And maybe it’s a good idea they do, especially with David seriously contemplating asking for a pocket because that seems much safer than the current roller coaster ride. But, he hears the hurt tone in Fritz’s voice. One he’s become all too familiar with. 

David would much rather be in one piece than not have Fritz’s feelings hurt. It’s no one’s fault for the kid being defective and not able to shift, but he can see how it can go both ways. They all know it’s dangerous. Fritz, on the other hand, is being treated as such. Again, safety should always be the upmost priority. Is this not the one person he praises for being competent, though? 

Who nearly made him fall into a drawer in under five minutes. His first reaction was to put David down, however. 

“Let’s call this a trial run,” David announces before he can decide against it. The absolute joy on Fritz’s face definitely did not make it worth all of this. “That means there will be a full report at the end of this.” 

The kid only gives a giant smile. And the shifter will have the utmost pleasure in wiping it off by keeping his word. He’s just relieved when his house finally comes into view. Tenses as Fritz approaches the front steps, only for each one to be carefully taken. 

As soon as the door is locked, David’s pointing toward the floor miles below. “Put me down.” 

Fritz looks surprised but obeys. Let’s the business man walk off on his own. “Isn’t it terrifying to be on the floor?” 

David physically waves the concern away. “You get used to it. Besides, it’s the only way for me to get to the rooms built for whenever I shrink. So thank you for not being a total dumbass and managing to get me here safely, and I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Instead of immediately standing up to leave, Fritz stares at him with something akin to panic. “D-Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry, whatever it was, I’ll get better! I-!” 

“No, no,” David interrupts. “Honestly, you did fine your first time. I’m home, though, therefore mission accomplished.” 

Green eyes bigger than his head refuse to look at him as Fritz hangs his head. David’s going to regret this. 

“What is it?” 

The towering teenager takes a deep breath. “It’s nothing. Thank you for trusting me, Mr. Harrison.” 

The significantly smaller bristles. “It’s not nothing. You look like the world is ending.” 

“It’s not, I know it’s not. I just...I-I’ll never be able to hold anyone again, will I?” 

If it was David’s decision, no. Fritz would never hold another shifter again. That’s just how it is, what’s kept them safe for centuries. Humans can’t be trusted because they’ll never understand. It may be a dated belief, but there was proof this could’ve ended badly, at the very least with a few scars. 

And yet, Fritz had listened. To everything David said. Put him down even though it seemed counterintuitive. Isn’t grabbing him now in spite of what’s clearly wanted and capable of just taking it. 

“Let’s say I don’t go into the room,” David begins. “What exactly would you like to do, and don’t say hold me.” 

“I-I can cook dinner,” Fritz offers. 

The kid is going to be the death of him. “Fine, but I stay on the counter the entire time.” 

He doesn’t hesitate to step onto the offered hand, refusing to meet the beaming teenager’s expression as he’s lifted up just as carefully as before. “Thanks, Mr. Harrison.” 

“You’re doing all the work, dumbass.” The smile doesn’t falter. “It better be something I can eat at this size.” 

It still doesn’t bring Fritz’s mood down. Which isn’t his intention, he’s just making sure the kid has thought everything through. 

And then he’s slid onto the counter. 

Before David can open his mouth to yell, a finger pokes him in the chest. “I had to do it at least once.” 

“I am going to find a way to shrink your ass and turn you into a stress ball.” 

Fritz darts into the pantry to get ingredients and avoid the yelling guaranteed to come. But David doesn’t yell for the dumbass to face his consequences this instant. Knows he’ll come back even though he knows what’s waiting. Because that’s why he trusts the kid. 

He’s still going to do everything in his power to fulfill that threat, however. 

[deoboyznet]

it's time for our monthly HOUSEMATE SPOTLIGHT! deoboyznet proudly introduces @zzoguri !

moni says: hi everyone! i’m moni and i hope you enjoy your stay on my blog! feel free to come into my asks <33 there’s a high chance i’ll share the same interest as u anyway

**interview below the cut**

who are your bias(es) and bias wrecker(s)?

my biases are jacob, jichang, and sunwoo!! i would put eric there too but sometimes he fluctuates between bias and bias wrecker HWJSHSJSJ but i will say my official bias wreckers are juyeon and hyunjae

when did you first start stanning the boyz?

i actually knew and followed them way back in giddy up era but i only officially stanned them around 2022

what is your favorite era of the boyz?

i will personally always love giddy up era imo :’)) it’s how i first knew them so whenever i see them now, i do get emotional. another fave one though is roar era imo despite the genuine Struggles we faced as a fandom

what the boyz song are you currently obsessed with?

i still think i’m obsessed with giddy up to this day, water, and she’s the boss ❤️‍🩹 i will love and die for those tracks i kid u not!

what do you write? (favorite genres; if you're known for fluff/angst/comedy/smut/etc.)

personally, i like writing angst and slice of life! i feel like i’ve grown accustomed to it and enjoy it but i do get more interactions with my more fluffier and suggestive ones

what is a fic/work people should check out from you?

i think people should check “finger trapped (ripped to its seams),” “familiarity (it’s all sticky),” and “safe haven (how much longer do have)” !!! while they are all very angsty and hurt/comfort, i hope people come to read my proudest works!!

▷ read moni's finger trapped (ripped to its seams), familiarity (it's all sticky), & safe haven (how much longer do we have) here!

[stackthedeck]

Who’s Gwenpool’s favorite superhero? Has it been said?

It hasn't been explicitly stated as far as I'm aware, she's supposed to be a general super fan kinda reader which gives her an advantage over all characters because she knows everything, but we can make a couple guesses about who her favorites are

For one, we know it's not Deadpool, she actually doesn't read any of his comics which I think is a hilarious little detail

This is her room in the real world and we can see she's got a thor plushie and poster as well as a spider-man plushie and poster. There's also iron man, wolverine, hulk, and captain America stuff. Fair to say she's problem more of an avengers fan than an x stan

and then this is her room in 616, still pretty avengers heavy, but it's got heroes that she's met already (except Captain Marvel and She-Hulk). Gwen was reading a Miles comic in her universe so obviously, she liked him before, but I do think she picks her favorite heroes currently by how willing they are to hang out with her

She also just is so dedicated to getting Miles to hang out with her. Peter Parker was in unbelievable Gwenpool for one issue and Gwen didn't even try anything. But with Miles, she really wants to be on a team with him, he's a major player in her first solo series because she's always seeking him out

If she's shown reading a comic, it's always a spider-man comic the one she's reading here is Spider-Man double trouble with Peter and venom

Given this evidence I think it's safe to say she's biased towards Spider-Man, valuing both Miles and Peter just in different ways. This makes sense with her first attempt to get superpowers being her trying to get Peter to bite her so she gets Spider powers.

That being said...there's your favorite hero and then there's the hero that's your favorite because you've got a crush on them. It's pretty obvious that Gwen has no romantic feelings toward Miles...but there are other heroes who she's kinda weird around

There's a theory that Gwen has a crush on Jane Foster because of the whole wall shoving thing and how flustered she was. I personally like this idea and you know she's got a picture of her in her room

She is, unfortunately, a stucky shipper which like...girl you're a comics fan get it together. She also mentions wanting to see the winter soldier movie when in the pocket dimension working at the movie theatre so I think it's fair to assume she thinks they're hot

now you might be saying what about Reed Richards, she's canonically kissed him and to that I say, it was literally just a scheme to stay relevant. Check out Gwenpool strikes back #2 if you don't believe me (also check it out because it implies that Johnny isn't into women at all which... okay)

but my final answer is

Kamala Khan! Gwen literally calls her best girl and you know what Kamala is one of the only heroes that is consistently kind and compassionate with Gwen, often being the only one to explain the rules of this world and recognize her as perhaps mentally ill. I don't think Kamala was Gwen's favorite before entering the superhero world, but I think just being around her and the other heroes has shifted her perspective

[andersonpress]

Y’all are going to HELL

Soooooo shit has gotten worse. 

The last time I even had the energy to talk about school was damn near a year ago - and of course ain’t nobody listen. Since last year I’ve had a handful of professors (non tenured and tenure) leave their departments. I’ve seen administrators lose their jobs for budget cuts. Graduate students dropping out like flies because they can pay less money to be depressed and stagnant somewhere else. Undergraduates are in a state of shock at the same institution that spent so much time getting to know them, recruiting them, and of course LYING. Guess what babies: they don’t give a fuck about ya. 

I went from yelling at my yt classmates about their biases to hearing my department chair (yes, she is) say I “slipped through the cracks.” When my every action isn’t being watched in course work I’m completely forgotten about. It’s wild to me at how I can go from the spotlight to the streets in such a quick turnaround time. Less than three years in and the resources are depleting not growing. Take this school year for example. I literally got my resources to teach (if that’s what you want to call this packet of bullshit) two days before class starts. Even in grad school shit is so janky - and predictable.To this day, some of the best advice about grad school that I have been given: “Say something one time per class, nod, and seem interested.” The perfect formula. Add in the ‘angry Black girl’ trope to really hammer it home. Don’t attend any community meetings! Refuse to go to award ceremonies! Stay stone faced while they all smile. (I’ve managed to skate past most requirements by looking mean and uninterested in meetings.) It’s a classic case of giving the people what they want. A law I live by in my sex work. It’s all an illusion anyway. Baby give em’ exactly what they want! 

But that’s just me. 

While working my side gig, several adjuncts and professors came in and started to complain about the ways that their respective institutions are choosing to handle COVID - 19 and the student population. There were 6 of us in conversation; two adjuncts, one director, one instructor, and two students. The director proceeds to explain how one of her students lost 100lbs over the summer due to COVID - 19 and is now immunocompromised. And yeah - the student is on the football team. One of the adjuncts complained of finally being invited to a faculty meeting for the first time in two years just to be told to not accommodate their students. The other said that there was no system of accountability at their institution. Never was. No one was actually checking their syllabus, or checking in with students...we all have just been doing...whatever we want. The students in the back were elated because their public health course had been cancelled due to one of the students catching COVID over the weekend. 

Y’all are going to hell. 

My students wonder if this place they were scrambling to get into; this place that told them they would be safe in their care; would really put their entire population in danger just so they don’t have to give their money back? (Now the learning can really start!) Does a bear shit in the woods? The students have to take control of their own experiences. The more we start to refuse to take bullshit the sooner we start getting what we deserve. That starts with putting ourselves first. It’s a recurring theme in my course - something I tell my students everyday. We gon learn - but not that shit. We ain’t got time for the bullshit, period. Dare to not stress about class. Take time to explore your interests. Focus on getting ya bread up to all my students who are fleeing unsafe environments. My sex working, my houseless, my queer students!!! It’s time to do something radical: rest. 

Y’all are going to hell. But like not the one I’ll be at with Montero. The one where all the professors who assign 7+ page papers go; those who don’t pay or acknowledge their student assistants; the weird ones who steal their student’s ideas (while simultaneously belittling said ideas); those ones who think they are holier than thou (and thus their work is a necessary good for the entire world); and the professors who are all around shitty teachers and shitty people. The administrators who lie about payment dates, “forget” to push your paperwork forward, or refuse to make accommodations for you unless you make noise. All the predatorial organizations stealing money, labor, and resources from students. ALLLLLLLOFDEMGONBETHERE. 

I ain’t going witchall. I ain’t dying for y’all. We are not in cahoots or solidarity. #KeepIt If my conversations with all the different instructors taught me anything it’s that all these institutions are the same. Their bottom line doesn’t include student satisfaction, it's just money. COVID was the world’s evil ex - abusive as hell, inconvenient when you really need them, and acts like a dick in social settings. After being with an ass like that for so long you eventually raise your standard. Demand more. Students, employees, and community members alike are holding their overlords accountable. It’s like $16 an hour to work at the Taco Beezy up the street from me right now! Politicians are out here getting outed and SUED! Teachers are marching for higher wages! Students are fighting for equal rights in school - baby I am living! Thankfully (and historically) universities have been the site of student protest for generations. COVID - 19 severely minimizes the in-person college experience to null and void. Students are claiming they aren’t getting what they paid for anymore. I mean you pay for the in - person experience; the STIs, alcohol dependency, and mental breaks included! But few students in recent years can say they had the “typical” college experience. In an effort to give the students “what they want” they are prematurely allowing population numbers to rise and increasing the chance of spreading COVID; subsequently shutting down the university...again. Universities can’t handle having to accommodate students in - person and asynchronously or so they say. Put that tuition to use babe! Spend the coin! Or don’t. The enrollment numbers continue to dwindle. So are the faculty and staff. The morale is low in the academy. And all I can do is eat my chips and laugh. 

In the meantime you can find me woosahing until I get to my graduation date! I have so many goals in mind: I’m excited about teaching (sharing knowledge has always been fun and interesting to me); making curriculum; and writing (love that I do that everyday). So yeah like fuck them. DO you. I dare anybody to do some shit about it. 

Soooooo shit has gotten worse. 

The last time I even had the energy to talk about school was damn near a year ago - and of course ain’t nobody listen. Since last year I’ve had a handful of professors (non tenured and tenure) leave their departments. I’ve seen administrators lose their jobs for budget cuts. Graduate students dropping out like flies because they can pay less money to be depressed and stagnant somewhere else. Undergraduates are in a state of shock at the same institution that spent so much time getting to know them, recruiting them, and of course LYING. Guess what babies: they don’t give a fuck about ya. 

I went from yelling at my yt classmates about their biases to hearing my department chair (yes, she is) say I “slipped through the cracks.” When my every action isn’t being watched in course work I’m completely forgotten about. It’s wild to me at how I can go from the spotlight to the streets in such a quick turnaround time. Less than three years in and the resources are depleting not growing. Take this school year for example. I literally got my resources to teach (if that’s what you want to call this packet of bullshit) two days before class starts. Even in grad school shit is so janky - and predictable.To this day, some of the best advice about grad school that I have been given: “Say something one time per class, nod, and seem interested.” The perfect formula. Add in the ‘angry Black girl’ trope to really hammer it home. Don’t attend any community meetings! Refuse to go to award ceremonies! Stay stone faced while they all smile. (I’ve managed to skate past most requirements by looking mean and uninterested in meetings.) It’s a classic case of giving the people what they want. A law I live by in my sex work. It’s all an illusion anyway. Baby give em’ exactly what they want! 

But that’s just me. 

While working my side gig, several adjuncts and professors came in and started to complain about the ways that their respective institutions are choosing to handle COVID - 19 and the student population. There were 6 of us in conversation; two adjuncts, one director, one instructor, and two students. The director proceeds to explain how one of her students lost 100lbs over the summer due to COVID - 19 and is now immunocompromised. And yeah - the student is on the football team. One of the adjuncts complained of finally being invited to a faculty meeting for the first time in two years just to be told to not accommodate their students. The other said that there was no system of accountability at their institution. Never was. No one was actually checking their syllabus, or checking in with students...we all have just been doing...whatever we want. The students in the back were elated because their public health course had been cancelled due to one of the students catching COVID over the weekend. 

Y’all are going to hell. 

My students wonder if this place they were scrambling to get into; this place that told them they would be safe in their care; would really put their entire population in danger just so they don’t have to give their money back? (Now the learning can really start!) Does a bear shit in the woods? The students have to take control of their own experiences. The more we start to refuse to take bullshit the sooner we start getting what we deserve. That starts with putting ourselves first. It’s a recurring theme in my course - something I tell my students everyday. We gon learn - but not that shit. We ain’t got time for the bullshit, period. Dare to not stress about class. Take time to explore your interests. Focus on getting ya bread up to all my students who are fleeing unsafe environments. My sex working, my houseless, my queer students!!! It’s time to do something radical: rest. 

Y’all are going to hell. But like not the one I’ll be at with Montero. The one where all the professors who assign 7+ page papers go; those who don’t pay or acknowledge their student assistants; the weird ones who steal their student’s ideas (while simultaneously belittling said ideas); those ones who think they are holier than thou (and thus their work is a necessary good for the entire world); and the professors who are all around shitty teachers and shitty people. The administrators who lie about payment dates, “forget” to push your paperwork forward, or refuse to make accommodations for you unless you make noise. All the predatorial organizations stealing money, labor, and resources from students. ALLLLLLLOFDEMGONBETHERE. 

I ain’t going witchall. I ain’t dying for y’all. We are not in cahoots or solidarity. #KeepIt If my conversations with all the different instructors taught me anything it’s that all these institutions are the same. Their bottom line doesn’t include student satisfaction, it's just money. COVID was the world’s evil ex - abusive as hell, inconvenient when you really need them, and acts like a dick in social settings. After being with an ass like that for so long you eventually raise your standard. Demand more. Students, employees, and community members alike are holding their overlords accountable. It’s like $16 an hour to work at the Taco Beezy up the street from me right now! Politicians are out here getting outed and SUED! Teachers are marching for higher wages! Students are fighting for equal rights in school - baby I am living! Thankfully (and historically) universities have been the site of student protest for generations. COVID - 19 severely minimizes the in-person college experience to null and void. Students are claiming they aren’t getting what they paid for anymore. I mean you pay for the in - person experience; the STIs, alcohol dependency, and mental breaks included! But few students in recent years can say they had the “typical” college experience. In an effort to give the students “what they want” they are prematurely allowing population numbers to rise and increasing the chance of spreading COVID; subsequently shutting down the university...again. Universities can’t handle having to accommodate students in - person and asynchronously or so they say. Put that tuition to use babe! Spend the coin! Or don’t. The enrollment numbers continue to dwindle. So are the faculty and staff. The morale is low in the academy. And all I can do is eat my chips and laugh. 

In the meantime you can find me woosahing until I get to my graduation date! I have so many goals in mind: I’m excited about teaching (sharing knowledge has always been fun and interesting to me); making curriculum; and writing (love that I do that everyday). So yeah like fuck them. DO you. I dare anybody to do some shit about it. 

[psychelis-new]

Hi Lys! I have a question about signs.

What does it mean to see signs about someone, but their actions don't equal the signs. The signs being dreams, numbers, seeing their name written somewhere...

Like the signs are here, even if the person isn't. Does it mean something valuable or just that I'm obsessed? I was just trying to move on and saw their name written over a stranger's clothing

Hey :)

Honestly, it depends... with signs it's a personal thing and we may often misinterpret them or believe they have a certain meaning (that we want them to have, or fear them to have, even unconsciously) while they may even have none or a different one. This especially when we're confused, scared and not balanced/grounded: we may see/hear stuff and make it a sign for something while it may even just be nothing. We may confuse triggers with signs, actually.

If you want to move on but unconsciously you don't want to (or are searching for confirmations you're doing the right thing), you may suddenly see their name and make it mean you need to not give up. (I will add a personal example. I'm gonna write a lot -sorry- so I'll put it under the keep reading link). Same goes for numbers: it depends on what meaning you give them, what are you thinking about when you see them and many other things. As for dreams, a person may take on many different roles in them. Their presence could mean different things according on the dream itself (an interpretation could help you understand more about what is going on, since your unconscious mind works free at night and is not biased by your conscious mind and fears). Ofc there's also a psychological factor: the more you (even unconsciously) think about a person, the more you'll notice stuff that is related with them and reminds you about them, both for good and bad. In your case your mind and heart have a soft spot for them, let's say, plus they're also used to search for any type of connection/confirmation about them since you too said you may be obsessed about them. Not to mention that signs about them may have become a source of endorphins for your system (meaning those "signs" as their name or anything else you connected to them, make you feel good, happy, comforted, relaxed and ofc you want more and more especially when things get tough so you've kind of become able to find them anywhere: through those signs, you feel that person closer to you and it makes you feel good). Something like a coping mechanism/escape for something else? Idk ofc, I'm only giving you different ways to see "signs". As I said it's personal, and only you know what is going on for real.

My suggestion is to take courage and check within objectively the reasons that connect you with this person if there's any, what is going on, what do you really want in your *love* life and even more, what scares you (to have or not have, find or not find, change, miss...). What this person represents and means for you: do you feel "safe" thinking about them? Or do you see them as your saviour or anything of that kind and "leaving" them scares you? Did this person appear in your life or just bring you joy and some kind of happiness/support during a tough time in your life (even just through their presence, so that now them = your only joy)? What "meaning" you attached to them in your regards? And what made you decide to move on? Think about your connection with them, and then see what the signs may mean but not according to your fears, according to your quiet mind and inner wisdom. From my personal experience, our fears may make us notice and think things that actually are not correct. They are the first reason we misinterpret the correct signs or don't pay attention to them (and our intuition) and focus on the "wrong" signs.

Listen to your inner self after grounding yourself. And follow that voice (not the voice of fear) with no regret. Stay open to the various chances and ready to embrace what comes your way, whatever it may mean (don't let your fear close a real meaning of a sign off: it'll be okay, you'll be okay). When a sign is really an important sign that means something and is guiding you, you will know it deep down. You will feel calm about it and not stressed.

BTW, here's my personal life experience (it may explain better what I've been trying to say). Take as resonates ofc. Only you hold the truth to your own story.

Some years ago, I went through a tough period in my personal life in which I felt pretty alone and occasionally kind of lost, powerless. I closed with lot of things to focus on what was going on. I realized a lot. There was a person I somehow happened to think could be an important person in my life, since because of their job they appeared in my life and helped me with something ("indirectly", but still... they represented a good escape from negativity and were of support since they brought in my life some moments of peace and fun. They took away a bit of weight from my shoulders too, somehow). Now... they have a common name here, despite I didn't pay too much attention to this fact (that it's a common name I mean): even my cousin and other people I know have that same name, plus on tv I kept hearing it (I still do). They also have dark hair and an earring as someone I dreamt about around that time (but couldn't see their face). People in my family were mentioning him too (he was helping them mostly: it's just obvious to mention someone you appreciate and is helping you/supporting you and being kind; even more when things are tough and nothing much is going on). He sometimes acted flirty with me, or seemed to. All this made me think ofc. But the moment I really focused and saw this person for who they are and not who I feared them to be/thought they were, I realized that it wasn't them (I actually knew since the first moment I saw them, but yk... our minds are masters in making us doubt ourselves, especially if we've been often gaslighted or self gaslighting ourselves, and lack/ed love and affection. Or correct samples of these). It wasn't them no matter what I feared/wanted that name continuosly coming up and some astrological aspects (how many aspects do we share with people around the world?) or even a reading (telling me I could meet my person like I met them -I mean, how many people we encounter suddenly and in difficult times? From artists with their songs or actors with their movies, or a stranger at the bus stop or writing something online... there are so many people we "meet", many more than we realize) to mean back then (more feared, tbh: they were more of a trigger for me in my "romantic" life since I already knew the energy of my person at that time but I was too scared to believe in that, and so I *unconsciously* searched for confirmations that I was wrong -been lied to/gaslighted a lot in my life and when you do it happens to not trust that you're right anymore, to not believe yourself and that things could be better than you imagine-, not enough to have what I want and need in another/what I deserve, and that I had to settle for crumbles nonetheless. I kind of still end up here sometimes, but it makes for a different story).

I still see this person occasionally: after a while, they ended up being someone I can suddenly encounter again and exchange some (at times cringe, lol) moments. But the more I see them and know them and how they act (with me too), the more I am sure they're just some person I had to encounter in this life for some purpose. Prolly they had to help me back then when I felt helpless and alone, and had/have to make me realize more about the person I need to have by my side, and not let my fears and life's circumstances cloud my mind and heart. Maybe they need to teach me that there can be different types of people by my side too, supporting me and "loving" me in different ways (as it used to be in the past. They may be a reminder of my past when I just used to enjoy my friendships without thinking too much); especially after I felt judged, abandoned, left out and alone, used too, and closed off a bit from others. And it doesn't mean they (or anyone else coming in, really) have to be only my person, at all. Our hearts are big, yk. We can give and receive, and we deserve, different types of love. He is not my person, but he can be a friend or acquainted, or an occasional reminder (I just need to let things go without holding onto them or trying to control them or give them a meaning I fear): my guts know this now that I'm more grounded and present. Actually they (I) always knew that they're not my person, but because of what I was going through I wasn't open enough to listen to my intuition, and let my fears take over. It's easier to let fears take over and stop listening to our intuition when we're tired and overwhelmed, and feel alone. It's how triggers work.

Anyway... all this long post to say that at times there's more than just signs. I personally believe soul's contracts have more importance than anything else. Know thyself (inside out, especially your own fears as I said). Stay grounded as you can. Trust yourself. Best of all!

[eris-abomination]

Very random PSA, but this is an extremely important topic and I hope this will reach someone who needs it. Please consider reblogging.

From a survivor’s perspective:

Wtf do I do if my friend is stuck in an abusive relationship?

1. Know your limitations. Unless you’re professionally qualified to intervene, don’t expect to single-handedly bail someone out of a dangerous situation. You’re not going to be able to do everything, but doing what you can will still help. Look into local shelters, organizations, or mandated reporters at your school or workplace who can pick up where you leave off. Keep safety in mind and do not do anything that will further endanger you or your friend.

2. Ask for consent. Sadly, you can’t help somebody who doesn’t feel comfortable or safe accepting help. Make sure you clear everything with your friend in a safe, private environment before proceeding; forcing help onto a person unexpectedly can run the risk of making the situation worse if they’re unprepared.

3. Be respectful and compassionate. Allow your friend to speak uninterrupted. Don’t preach to them, use emotionally-charged language, or blame/invalidate their experience. Open the conversation in a neutral, non-accusatory way: “You haven’t been acting like yourself, is everything alright?” or “I saw what you’re going through and I want to help you, do I have your permission to?” Discard any biases or stereotypes you may have: men can be abused, women can be abusers, abuse can happen in queer relationships too, and it doesn’t always involve physical violence.

4. Keep it confidential. Keep all planning and discussion confined to a safe place where your friend feels comfortable and can speak without fear of being caught. Do not call or text your friend about the situation if they could be in the presence of the abuser, especially if they live in the same home. Limit conversations to in-person settings and, if it’s safe to do so, try to help your friend stay out of the abusive setting as much as they can. If your friend is looking online for resources, ensure that they know how to wipe their search history. Staying confidential does not mean you’re alone though; therapists, specialists, and mandated reporters will keep these situations confidential until it’s safe to bring external help in.

5. Create a safety plan. Some websites have safety plan templates you can fill out to ensure your friend is prepared to take action. It’s good to consider and plan out transportation, accommodations (and whether they’ll be temporary or long-term), a list of contacts, what essentials they’ll be bringing along, when they’ll be leaving, who they’ll be following up with afterward, and whether or not they have evidence that can be presented in a hypothetical legal case. Be sure to have your friend’s personal information on hand in case of an emergency situation.

6. Follow up. Once your friend is in a safer environment, check in on them. Help guide them to resources that can help them long-term and let them know you’re there for them. Be sympathetic and affirm them in their choices.

7. Don’t neglect yourself. Helping a friend escape an abuser can be scary and mentally taxing. Be sure to give yourself breaks and take time to do things that make you feel happy and calm. Taking time for yourself does not mean you care any less about your friend’s situation; you need to be in a stable state of mind and be strong for them, and this can’t happen if you’ve pushed yourself past the edge.

Please remember this is NOT a comprehensive list, it’s just a place to start. If you’re dealing with a situation, I highly recommend consulting the National Domestic Violence Hotline, Safe Connections, One Love Foundation, RespectMe, or similar organizations for more comprehensive and informed advice.