#stateventers

[statesys]

; eating isn't difficult except for when you're suddenly 11 and sitting at the table trying not to cry because the food in your mouth has the most horrible texture, the lights are horribly loud and everyone's chewing is horribly painful and you feel so bad because you never eat full meals and you feel so guilty, someone cooked this for you and you think it's disgusting ?? and your throat constricts weirdly and swallowing is hard but you don't want to say that because you're already weird and cause so much stress for others, adding to that list won't help anyone so you won't tell anyone about this until you're 14 and keep choking on your food because it's gotten worse recently and a doctor asks about it and your mother accuses you and yells asking why you never mentioned this but this is the exact reason why. but you won't tell anyone because you don't want to be any weirder and more difficult, you're already a burden as is. from the day you were born from now on everyone has made it very clear you're strange. but it's okay because eating isn't difficult