#starvation is real and a man who is starving to death such that he is almost insane will do astonishing things for food

[ivan-fyodorovich-k]

I am convinced the only possible way to be happy is to have absolutely no sense of the self or of one's own needs or desires

But the problem that I keep hitting upon is, there is a certain amount of food you need to live. There is a certain amount of oxygen you need to live. No amount of zen indifference to your surroundings is going to keep you alive in the vacuum of space.

Is there some baseline of emotional well-being you need to have even to begin to abandon your sense of self yet continue to live? If depression is an excessive self-regard or self-obsession, is the problem that you have your legitimate needs met but you don't know, or you have your legitimate needs met but selfishly want more, or could your heightened self-awareness actually be caused by a legitimate problem, in the same way that you can be hyper aware of your leg because your leg is actually broken

[thewinter-eden]

psycho | han jisung

Pairings: Han x OC, Minho x OC

Summary: Anna finds herself trapped in the captivity of a psychopath with numerous other prisoners. The other girls who have been there for a while have been starved and abused, and Anna is obviously headed for the same fate.

Han Jisung, one of the prisoners, a sweet and handsome boy, serves as caretaker for the girls after sessions of abuse. As he and Anna grow closer, struggling to find their way home, the truth about her captor and his plans unfold in the worst ways possible.

cross posted on AO3 under the_winter_eden and Wattpad under alone-at-last.

Genre: horror, thriller

Rating: mature, explicit

Status: complete (20 chapters)

Content warnings: explicit descriptions of violence/torture, mentions of sa, mentions of rape, hurt/comfort, heavy angst, lots of sadness, death, murder, mentions of suicide, starvation, fear, insecurities, hopelessness.

PLEASE READ INFO BELOW

Chapters

1 : hannie 2 : blood soaked cloth 3 : virtues and vices 4 : missing persons 5 : the first one 6 : the knife 7 : the new girl 8 : stay with me 9 : punished 10 : moments in the dark 11 : the pink door 12 : he already knew 13 : the society 14 : I already did 15 : i've got you 16 : here's looking at you 17 : master of levity 18 : never again (friday 01/24)

note :

I suck at summaries - they're my kryptonite.

characters :

disclaimer : age manipulation and ambiguity for sake of story.

[the man I'm a little bit afraid of] Bang Chan

??yo, captain of police

[the man I would work out with but never spot on bench press] Seo Changbin

??yo, police lieutenant

[this freaking muse of a man] Hwang Hyunjin

??yo, shop owner

[the other man I'm slightly afraid of] Kim Seungmin

22yo, police officer

[the guy who tricked me into SKZ cult] Lee Felix

??yo, shop owner

[this mini mafioso of a man] Yang Jeongin

??yo, prisoner of Cain (Han's little brother)

[the man who literally haunts my dreams] Han Jisung

22yo, prisoner of Cain

[the man who hurts my feelings regularly] Lee Minho

24yo, police officer

[fill in your own mental image, guys, idk] Anna Park

18yo, prisoner of Cain

[fill in a second mental image ig] Cass Young

20yo, prisoner of Cain

a/n :

don't come for me. I know this is dark but I had to motivate myself to write this story as a backstory for one of my other projects, so I had to transpose SKZ over it or I would never get it done. In ten years, if any of you see this plot in a sucky indie book on a random Goodwill bookshelf, no you didn't.

a/n 2 :

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Or something like that.

so...I don't actually know SKZ? [If I personally knew Han and Lee Know well enough to accurately represent them in a story like this I would—] so, yeah, anyways those guys are real people who do great things in the entertainment industry and the characters named after them in this story are fake people. Hope that clears things up.

tag list: (Comment a request to be added or removed)

@kayleefriedchicken @eastjonowhere @mysterysold

[ukranianacearo]

"Mother", a strong word

Part 2 Part 3

F!reader

Word count: almost 4k

Mention of Innocent zero's real name.

Tw: Mentions of starvation, enslavement (like what Russian empire did to Ukrainians back in 18-19th centuries), mentions of blood, mentions of abuse, mentions of birth, harrasing, and attempts at SA and I think that's all. Please, do inform me if you see more.

Pairing: romantically there's none, but reader has to marry Innocent zero.

Genre(?): angst.

Tags: @aiscreamcake (I thought you would be interested)

Author's note: This has been rotting in my brain for over a week and @fellow-anime-weeb927 post only strengthened this lol. Sorry for any mistakes, I didn't recheck it before posting and English isn't my first language. More under cut.

---------------------------------------

Escaping the empire would be dangerous and risky. But even death would be better than what you had to endure. Your nation has been occupied and enslaved by another nation for centuries already, poisoning your people's minds, destroying your culture and language and killing those who were against the system. You weren't a person. At least weren't considered one. Your lord, the one who owned your family, was a cruel man. Not only towards you and your family, but even to his own kids and his ill wife. When times got tough even for him, you were only 5. His wife's condition worsened, she got bedridden, and there were even talks about her possible death. It was the first time he tried forcing himself on you. Fortunately for you, you escaped. Times got worse with the arrival of international market. Selling got worse and so did your family's condition. Your lord paid less and less, to the point where your family starved for days, sometimes even weeks. The first to die was your youngest brother; he was only 3 years old when he died of starvation, you were 6. Two months later, your mother died. The same cause, the same ground that buried her. There has started to run rumors about the lord marrying you, since his wife will die soon and he had kids to take care of. Your father had no say in it, after all, you and your family are nothing more, but the lord's property.

You were 7 when your oldest brother died at the age of 17. He too, died of starvation. After a few months, your last brother died, at the age of 16. You and your father were devastated, but you only could bury your brother next to your other two brother and your mother. One of the days, you heard your lord talking with his friends about some ships taking people to another land, to another country. But, it was really risky, you could die from any cause there; not that it mattered to you, you could never even imagine having the money to buy tickets for you and your father. So you just continued working. A year passed, then another and now you're 9. One of the evenings, your father didn't come back and you started worrying. You had nowhere to go and seek him, but the lord's house. When you arrived at the door of the house, it was open and you could see your father and the lord talking about something. While trying to focus on what they were saying, you leaned slightly against the door, making sure it didn't move nor made any sound. It was muffled, but you could understand that they were discussing your marriage with the lord. Your father tried to reason that you were just too young for the lord, you were only 9, after all. But the lord didn't care.

That day, you lost your father and killed your lord. That day was also the second time your lord tried to force himself on you.

You buried your father next to the graves of your family members the best you could. It was the middle of the night and lord's kids were sleeping in their respective homes, since most of them were old enough to have it. Not caring about lord's dead corpse laying on the floor of his house, you took the money there was; you didn't know how much a ticket to the other country would cost, but even if you had more than needed, it was better than less.

...

The travel wasn't pleasant at all, but you finally were here. Most people at the port called it The Magic Empire. You didn't know if it was because there was actually magic and people could use it without being punished or if it was because people's dreams and wishes would be satisfied. Noticing that many people had some lines on their faces, you didn't want to stick out so you decided to use your necklace. Clenching it in your hand you increased the zone affected by it. Feeling their magic power being stored in the necklace, you changed the course and way of the magic in the necklace to create an illusion of a mark similar to the people around you. As you put the hood of your cloak on your head, you start going into the city; the cloak covering your figure completely, hiding the broken clothes you wore: a pair of pants and a T-shirt.

...

...

In the past 5 months you lived in the Magic Realm, as people from here called it. You were fortunate enough to know the language that people speak here, since you learned it from a dictionary someone threw out while you were still living in your home country. But, life was still challenging, of course. Although, 'challenging' would be an underrating. This realm worked such as higher your magic power - higher your status. So, you had to lie, to live a lie; you didn't have your own magic, you only could use or manipulate magic that you 'stole' with the necklaces. If you stole it by defeating a person, that person's magic was copied by one of the necklaces, and if you 'stole' it by just increasing the area that was under the necklaces' cancellation of magic, you could use a person's magic for as long as they were in the area and a certain amount of time after they were out.

In these past month you have worked as anything you could: cleaning people's shoes, selling newspaper, running errands for people, etc... You did your best and most of the errands were done perfectly, and your employers were satisfied with your work, paying you a bonus every now and then. You tried to save as much as possible while still eating something at least once a day. Your plan was to go to a middle magic school, but to do so you would need to deceive many people and even the government, so that they could think that you had actually alive parents, at least. For that, you would need to defeat someone who possessed a mind controlling power and you only had three years to do so: that's when middle school start.

It was easier than you thought. That boy really thought he could use you as a punching bag, but ironically, he was the one laying on the cold and dusty ground. Now, you're one step closer to succeeding.

...

...

This mind controlling magic was actually something. You carefully created a well written story for your play, the realm your stage and everyone the audience. The school you wanted to go accepted you, just like you planned. And thus, the played began.

No one has suspected a thing. Which feels kind of weird. But you decide to continue the show, there's nothing else to do.

...

The middle school was good, it had bedrooms for every pair of students, a kitchen and many more things. Just the perfect entrance for a grand show.

...

Few years pass by, and it's time to decide the academy where you'll go. There were three options, the ones that will appreciate the show. Easton Magic Academy, Walkis Magic Academy and Saint Ars Holy Magic Academy; in Saint Ars, rules are the most important thing and rule breakers are punished harshly. Definitely not for you: you would be considered a criminal at this point. Walkis focused only on strength which is also not the best, tho this academy produced the most divine visionaries at this point. So, you're left with Easton Magic academy.

...

The entrance exam was pretty easy. After that you were assigned to the Orca dorm. Not bad. You can work with this.

...

Eyes. No matter where you went, they followed you, like the hunting past. Were you in class, in the kitchen, training or even in the deep past, you remember eyes following you like a predator. When you were in middle magic academy, you didn't have time to ponder about it at all. Nor when you were doing errands for someone to earn extra money. Sometimes, when you tried to look at the one who was the person with such intense curiosity, you only saw white hair of a passerby, who you guessed was your classmate. Trying to follow that person was impossible, it's like they disappeared the moment you approached the place where magic lingered the most. It haunted you. You had a guess who it was, but with no evidence, you could do nothing, but try to be careful around that person. Cyril Marcus. He was the only one who had those long white locks. And his magic... Rather he used basic spells or his personal time magic or even if he didn't use any at all, you could always sense that difference between his magic and the magic of other people. When a person's potential is great in terms of magic, you can sense their magic differently. But this scared you very much. Even if you knew that your necklaces worked on him as well, you were scared. Better treat a gun as a loaded gun and not as a non loaded one. He seemed much eager to fight against you in the tournament for divine visionaries' candidates.

...

Your fight against him just ended. You won. After all, he was nothing without his magic. But, in your opinion, he was more testing you than fighting you. Right now, it was break time before continuing with the tournament. As you sat on one of the couches in the room, you clenched the necklace in your hand. The other three core necklaces were still deep inside your skin, in the same spot, even after all these years. The square body of the necklaces had some difficult artistic style. You still couldn't figure out which one exactly, but it resembled the baroque style very much. The black hook that was on one of the edges of every body wasn't as delicate as it seemed, just like the black chain that went through it, embracing your neck loosely.

- "What do you want?" - There was no need for chit chat, especially between you two. You two weren't on bad terms exactly, but you weren't friends either. Still, your suspicion about him being the person who stalks you was present on your mind.

-"You seemed so brave out there, but look at you now." - You snapped your head towards him, the look of shock on your face making him chuckle. His mocking tone didn't help, as it made you more uncomfortable. But you were used to the feeling, so you didn't let it show just like always. - "Don't look at me like that, it makes me think that you didn't expect me." - Deciding to play safe you calmed down your expression to a neutral one and let go of the necklace.

- "You're so straightforward, as always."

- "It's better to save the time and energy used to talk about nothing." - As you crossed you arms across your chest while Cyril smiled in that typical sly smile, although to you, it looked more like a smirk.

- "This...show that you play in front of everyone is quite the spectacle. I must admit, it took me a while to see the truth."

- "What are you talking about?" - In this type of situations it's better to play dumb. You couldn't afford for the show to end just yet. It would be a fiasco. Anyway, how did he figure it out? Has he been stalking you for so long just because of that? You made sure he couldn't see your thoughts on your face.

- "Don't play dumb. We both know what I'm talking about. At first I thought you were just a 'Disgraceful Mage', just to find out later that you are magicless. I must admit, your cover is good enough to make me think about you and your magic for quite the years. This fight in particular has confirmed my suspicion. Your necklace isn't just an accessory, am I right?" - His words froze you as he pointed at your necklace. The situation got to the point where you couldn't just deny your way out.

- "It would have been better if you continued thinking that I was a 'Disgraceful Mage'..." - You mumbled, making Cyril look at you with a curious smirk. - "What do you want from me? You wouldn't be here just to talk with me, would you?" - You tried to stay calm, but it was the first time someone saw past your costume. Instead of the character in the play, he saw the actor. You already realized why he was going in circles while fighting. He was out of the zone affected by the necklace, so he still could see magic power. Truly, that potential you saw in him would be enough to end your show.

- "What do I have to do with all of that?" - The palms of your hands have started sweating, but you still somehow managed to act calm enough. Hearing your words, Cyril smirked slyly and put his leg on the other.

- "Don't worry that much, I wouldn't want for the show to end just yet. After all, you can call me the most loyal fan of your spectacle. Who else would sit and watch it, while seeing your true form and not the character's?" - It was as is he read your thoughts with magic, although it was impossible, your necklace still worked around you. - "I don't mind your magicless nature, but what about the others?" - He slowly walked closer and sat on the couch in front of you - "I'm sure you know they wouldn't accept you if they knew, otherwise you wouldn't be putting this good of a performance. How convenient that I have just the offer for you, wouldn't you say so? You see, I plan on becoming the perfect human, but for that I need to find more knowledge and strong allies."

...

- "We both know that magic users tend to rely very much on magic - myself included - and you're someone who shifts their situation a lot with just a lift of your hand. Or even without it. As years went on, you taught yourself to manipulate that necklace very well. When the time will come, I want you to join my association and plan. Of course, I, on my end, will make sure the government won't get you." - It was tempting, but the actor can't just disappear from the stage, it wouldn't be fair. You clenched your left wrist with your hand as you looked at him a bit troubled, trying to stay calm. Seeing your hesitation, Cyril chucked. - "Don't worry. I will give you time to think about it. But when I will come for an answer, I hope you will have it." - He said as he got up, walking towards the door in his usual slow and elegant way. You wanted to answer, say at least something. But it felt as if the words got stuck in your throat, sinking in your stomach, leaving you alone with your thoughts haunting you, trying to come up with something, anything. - "So long, dear actress." - He left the room as the voice of a commentator announced the break time over. You were left alone, looking at the floor while your thoughts got to you. How could you afford such a mistake? Your performance was supposed to be perfect, without even the slightest flaw. Clenching the necklace you tried not to let emotions get the best of you. Even if there was a break between the acts, the actor shouldn't forgot that they're an actor. People are supposed to only see the character that they portrait, not the person behind it. One person in the audience saw the actor as they are, but that shouldn't matter. Especially when that person continues to watch the show peacefully.

- "Tell me, Cell war," - You started while watching your 'son' in the tank, or better say, in an incubator. Cell war, who was a creation of Innocent zero, turned to look at you patiently, waiting for you to continue. In the past years, Cyril Innocent zero really weird choice of name got to know that for achieving his goal to become "The Perfect Human", he needed six hearts of blood related family. That's how you got to this scene of the show. The audience changed, but the actor and that one specific person stayed the same people, probably. He mixed his DNA with your to create a life. You promised yourself that no matter what, your 'sons' won't live as bad or even worse than you; you would not allowe it as long as you breathe. - "How do you feel about his plan?"

...

- "If it's something 'father' wants, then it should be done."

- "You shouldn't be up this late." - You said in a scolding voice while standing behind the four young boys that stood outside your bedroom door.

- "Mother!" - They four said in unison, as they turned around to look at you. Fanim and Delisaster immediately went to hug you by your legs, since they didn't reach any higher yet, while Doom and Epidem stood by your sides taking your hands in theirs. They all seemed very exited and happy to see you again.

- "We wanted to see you the day you came back from this mission, so we stayed up." - Doom explained in a shy manner. You patted their heads as you hummed, giving a sign of acknowledgement.

- "That's very sweet of you, boys. But you shouldn't lose sleep just because of me. Sleep is fundamental for your health." - You answered in a caring voice, you truly couldn't be angry at them for long. Hearing your words, they looked between each other and then all looked at you.

- "But, mother is also very important for our health." - Delisaster started.

- "You train and play with us." - Doom continued.

- "You don't get angry at us for the slightest mistake and explain everything that we ask you to." - then Fanim continued.

- "And you give us all kinds of sweets." - Epidem finished. You were shocked. All of them were still so young, but understood so much. It wasn't uncommon in your experience, many kids you knew from the streets when you were younger had to grow up too soon - yourself included. But these four boys didn't live that life. Your best guess was that they were so aware of everything because of Innocent zero, their father. You smiled softly at them as you hugged them all.

- "What would I do without you guys, hm?" - They basked in your attention. - "But you gotta go to sleep now, it's already late." - Hearing that they whined in unison, but obeyed and you guided them to their rooms.

...

- "Did you see mother?" - Delisaster asked Doom, as the later was sharpening his sword. The former couldn't find you for a while now and he really wanted to show you one his new tricks with his pole arms.

- "Do you not know yet? She fell into a coma." - Doom tried to act as calm as possible, but in reality he was devastated. The fact that you just fainted out of nowhere wasn't positive at all, especially for the sons. There was no logical explanation for this and no one could figure it out. The ones who were probably affected the least were Domina and Mash, who were still too young to understand it. The room fell into silence's embrace as Delisaster tried to process the devastating information he just learned.

...

- "Domina, you should be useful. That's what mother and I would want. You understand, right?" - His sly tone of voice echoed in the small dark room that could barely be called a bedroom. He stood in front of Domina, looking at the small boy from his height. - "We must do it so that mother can wake up. Do you want her to wake up? Domina."

- "Yes, father." - The small boy looked pitiful. His pink-ish hair was cut just above his shoulders with bangs covering his eyebrows. He was just around 5 years old, yet he seemed as if he didn't eat enough. Domina was determined to do anything to help his mother regain consciousness and make his father proud. What he didn't understand was that, he shouldn't be the one to fight for it.

...

- "I see you still don't understand, Mash Burndead. If you continue to fight against it, mother won't wake up." - Doom said as he blocked one of Mash's punches.

- "I don't know that mother much, but I'm sure that destroying the world won't help wake her up." - Mash answered in the usual monotone voice as he punched Doom in the abdomen.

...

- "Who is she?" - asked a tall man with white hair and a big sword at his hip.

- "She was retrieved from the castle. Supposedly Innocent zero mixted his DNA with hers to create the six sons. Her name is [Y/N] [L/N]. She studied in Easton Magic Academy back in the days alongside me and Innocent zero. Was reported missing by some acquaintances after graduation. Later on it was discovered that she lied to the government, a lot." - Another tall and old man with grey hair answered.

- "So she's also Mash's biological mother... I wonder why she joined Innocent zero in his plan." - The tall man with the sword murmured.

- "I'm sure Innocent zero had some cards in his sleeves to play to manipulate her. She wouldn't go for such length just because of someone else's desires. Especially Innocent zero's, she couldn't care less about the man."

- "Maybe she was in love with him." - The tall man with the sword suggested turning his head slightly to look at the old man. Right after the man finished his sentence, the old one started laughing; when he finished laughing he sighed and started talking.

- "That's impossible, Kaldo. Not even love potions could make her feel something so deep. She herself said that she was unable to feel such love since birth; her brain lacked in that part. I guess she had a secret that the world shouldn't know and Innocent zero knew it."

- "Like what?" - the curiosity got the better out of the man with the sword.

- "Hmm, I don't know. We should ask her after she wakes up. For now, call Mash; I wanna talk with him." - The man with the sword bowed and walked out of the door, while the old man continued looking at the woman in the nurse bed. - "Mother, such a strong word, huh..."

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And that's it :D I hope you enjoyed this fanfic. If you want to be added into the tag list, please comment.

Edit 1 (11/01/2025): I corrected the grammatical mistakes

[thesnazzysharky]

Ranking the specimens based on how tragic they are (2/2)

Annnnd we're back! Make sure to check out part 1 before this one. Let's get right back to ranking some specimens.

12. Body Bag

For a long while, not much was known about this undead corpse. People had their guesses and theories about who this man previously was; such as some speculating that he could have possibly been a body builder or prisoner of war due to how oddly fit his body is for a corpse. But as for what killed him? The dent in his head could give some implications, but anything could have killed really.

He does have two lines of text that show up before you face him or get hit from him.

"Why did you leave your soul behind?"

"The worm feeds from you."

Assuming that the first line of text is a genuine question coming from him and that he mentions Ghost Cow (the worm) as a way of trying to warn the player. The implication is that he's being possessed by Ghost Cow like the other monsters, which does add some tragedy. Still, not a whole lot to work with here.

That is until a certain chandelure created a fan story for him which was later made canon. That story being that he was once an average dude who worked at 7/11. He seemed to be a pretty good guy, but unfortunately life is often unfair to those who are innocent. His job didn't pay him one day, his health insurance ran out, and he was destined to die due to living in the hellhole that is America and its non-free health care environment.

He then essentially attempted suicide by buying a body bog, crawling into it, and I guess just sitting there until he died from starvation or thirst. This attempt would be unsuccessful as the body bog he bought turned out to be parasitic and paranormal in nature. Making his body decompose, stripping him of any autonomy, yet still keeping him alive. A fate worse than death.

Even when he was found and brought to Karamari Hospital, he could not scream for help. He could not move. He couldn't do anything. So nobody was able to help or save him before he was thrown down in the morgue with the rest of the corpses. Where he would lay dormant there before being used as a puppet by Ghost Cow years later.

Ignoring the obviously silly aspects of the story, it is pretty damn sad. To see someone suffer a fate even though they clearly didn't deserve it is always painful. The fact that his first course of action was to kill himself after realizing he was doomed once his health insurance ran out doesn't help matters and I wouldn't be surprised if something similar has happened in real life before.

Also the part where he can't scream for help once he arrives at the hospital? A specific fear of mine. That is fucked up and tragic. Although the silly parts of the story can undermine the horror and tragedy of it, I think the Body Bag deserves this place on the list.

11. Subject 5

You don't like starving do you? Of course you don't. Nobody does. It's uncomfortable, unpleasant, and when things get really bad? It's downright painful.

Now imagine starving daily and I mean 24/7. You try to eat and eat as much as you can, but it's never enough. It will never be enough. You're still hungry. You still feel empty. You're still in pain. Sounds like a living hell right? That's what Subject 5 has to go through. Subject 5's death screen is pretty easy to understand and tells us everything we need to know. While it was in its test tube, it dreamed of being free from it. It wanted to see what the outside world was like. It was a curious creature that hoped that one day it could learn more about its environment. But once it was free and broke out? It was no longer being fed food from its tube. So it began to starve... constantly.

Subject 5 is just an animal. A scared and confused animal in either a great amount of discomfort or pain. Its freedom turned out to be a curse as its constant hunger would never be satisfied now that it was free. This is probably why the creature stays in the mansion. In the mansion there is an infinite amount of rooms. Plenty of wood, stone, and other materials that it could snack on. Maybe not the best meal, but it's something. Because if it made it out into the wild? It would have starved to death either from not being able to find enough food or overeating its prey and leaving it in a foodless environment.

These creatures, as there are three of them, will never experience the joy of exploring the world they live in and they never will. They'll forever be stuck in the mansion. Constantly hungry and in misery.

All of that just from one single death screen. Jesus... I think we're starting to enter the "just downright depressing" territory...

10. Gel

Once a human who through unknown means encountered a strange green substance that took over their body. A note that was written by this victim goes into some detail.

"Spouting, Splashing, Soaking. Innards, Ingest, Invoking. Nailing, Never, Stops the Choking"

As described in this note and in its death screen, the Gel absorbs you into itself, which is a very painful and horrifying process. But it doesn't fully kill you by doing this. You're presumably still conscious and most likely in a great amount misery or pain while being trapped within in it. Another fate worse than death scenario here.

The real unnerving part is that it's implied that there are multiple people within Gel as it states "We are one but I am many...". The death quote is presumably coming not from one of the many victims within Gel, but the green substance, the actual specimen, itself. implying that it's sapient to some degree.

Around 100 people are in there. In a hivemind that they did not want to be apart of. Do they hear the voices of all the others? Can they even hear or speak while inside Gel? One of Gel's voice lines sounds like someone within it is trying to say "let me out!". It seems these people can try to call for help, but can't do anything besides that, as the slime they're trapped in is the main one in control.

Gel is an odd case as not much is known about him compared to other specimens, which does bring him down a bit. He still makes it pretty high on this list as the note and death quote does give us enough to work with and it is tragic and unnerving.

9. Deer Lord

Similar to Body Bag, Deer Lord originally was pretty cool but otherwise pretty unknown when it came to what his origins were. Luckily Lost in Vivo was released and explained some things.

He was once a young boy who lived in a poor and struggling family. His family could not find any good or affordable food, so out of desperation, they prayed and called out to Bayagototh. Bayagototh responded by giving them an infinite amount of trees made out of meat, but in exchange, took away the boy from his family. Later being turned into what he is now.

The boy was taken away from his family and had his humanity stripped away from him. The worst part? Some lines of text in his death screens in both the main game and Dollhouse show us what was going through the boy's mind while transforming into his current deer form. Perhaps implying that he still remembers his past humanity in one way or another.

"And I saw, from eyes that were not mine.

And I felt, with a fear I could not reason."

The boy waking up and being filled with fear upon realizing the body he woke up in is completely different.

"And as I slept, and as I grew.

Something stirred, both root and sinew.

I cannot eat, nor can I starve."

The boy getting used to his new body.

"A face on the great tree did I carve.

It spoke to me, it whispered things.

It demands more life, demands more rings."

The boy, now known as Deer Lord, grew to become a great asset in Bayagototh's eyes. Whispering things in the demigod's ear, wanting the him to bring them more victims that he absorbed into his torso. Making him their obedient and excellent servant.

That is all Deer Lord's existence comes to. Serving for some sort of demonic entity instead of being a kid who enjoys playing games or spending time with his family. Does make you question how much free will Deer Lord has exactly.

It also makes you question if Deer Lord even remembers his family. If he does, did he ever try going back to them? Or did he not try due to the fear of no longer being seen as a son to his parents and instead as a horrific monster? No answer to these questions, but it's still pretty sad to think about.

The only thing that could hold Deer Lord back a bit is that he does kill people. Or rather puts them in fate worse than death scenario. Although it is implied he only targets those with and/or a history of aggressive behavior. That and considering the last line in his death screen in Dollhouse, he may be killing others out of obligation more than anything. Doesn't exactly make it better, but there is some reasoning to it.

Either way, I think Deer Lord deserves his spot on this list.

8. The Old Man

What at first seems like some random psycho residing in Specimen 12, turns out to be a pretty depressing character in SJSM. One of the most indepth characters in the game in fact.

The notes in Specimen 12 tell us a story of a man who wandered into the paranormal structure; thinking it was a resting place. He unfortunately ends up falling into the paranormal mansion's schemes. Becoming delusional, paranoid, and soon to be violent. As he runs away and hides from the mansion's previous host, he then comes to the conclusion that he'll kill his stalker so that he can finally be safe and at peace.

He unknowingly doomed himself by doing this. Now he was the mansion's new host and became the exact thing that he was trying to run away from.

We get to know more about this man in Endless Mode. Originally a vlogger who wanted to explore the mansion for his urban exploration channel, only to find himself permanently stuck there. Which adds even more tragedy to his situation. Especially considering that he seemed to be a pretty chill and relaxed dude before we see how paranoid and scared he was in the notes we find in Specimen 12.

The Old Man is parallel to the protagonist. Both went to the mansion to fill their interests. Both wield weapons that they obtained from Deer Lord's forest. Both can end up turning into paranoid, mindless, ruthless monsters if they end up falling into their madness and delusion. The Old Man is a warning to the protagonist about what they could become. Considering that he was a vlogger that ran his own channel, the Old Man most likely wasn't always an old man. He was once a young man, just like what is implied to be the case with the protagonist. A dude who just wanted to share some urban exploration videos to the world because that was his passion. But now he's stuck in the mansion. A mansion within said mansion nonetheless. He has grown old, lost all of his free will, and has become a monster through no choice of his own.

It's awful to think about what his family and the fans of his channel must have felt when he suddenly disappeared one day. Even more awful to think that thousands of people have met a similar fate to him. Really reminds you of just how horrifying and sad it would be to be trapped within the mansion. Not even because of all the monsters that will be chasing and trying to kill you, but because of how much mental damage you would receive just from being in a situation like that. To the point that your mind will break altogether.

7. The Parasite

This is an interesting one. Because the tragedy doesn't exactly come from the specimen itself, but through other elements. Because the specimen itself is obviously downright malicious at worst or just an animal acting on instinct at best. Similar to Gel in a way.

There is one thing that the Parasite represents: Sheer and utter dread and hopelessness.

While in the old GL Labs, you read about an unfortunate GL Assistant who succumbed to this thing. Left in an abandoned facility, frantically trying tear off the parasite as it spreads over their body, all to no avail. There was no chance of escape the moment they came into contact with it. They only thing they could do was leave behind a note warning the next victim. You can't outrun the Parasite. You have to stay close to it.

That brings me to its chase theme. "Getting there", as some have described it, is downright dreadful, hopeless, and depressing. I would save this for a post where I talk about the soundtracks of SJSM, but I might as well talk about what comes to my mind when I hear this soundtrack to drive in my point.

This soundtrack is exactly what I would imagine when you take the word "hopeless" and put it into a track. I imagine this is what was going through the GL Assistant's head as their body was being taken over by the Parasite. Trying to scratch and claw the thing off, only hurting themselves in the process, and soon realizing that there really is no escape from this thing. Dropping to their knees and silently crying to themselves as they accept that there's nothing they can do.

Another thing I imagine is that this is what is going through the protagonist's head upon seeing the creature and having to keep away from it while keeping it close at the same time. A mix between disgust and fear of having to even look at the alien thing and sorrow for the worker who turned into that. They hate what they're looking at, they fear that they could succumb to the same dreadful fate that the assistant went through, but they have to keep it close. Otherwise? They're dead.

Finally, its death screen. Specifically what the binary code states which translates to this.

"You are more than just an animal.

Use the soul you've been given.

And be responsible for your actions."

This could represent 2 things. 1. This is the protagonists fading humanity trying to reach out to them. To no avail, as the Parasite has already taken full effect, thus it comes out in binary code that the protagonist can't understand. 2. This is the previous victim of the Parasite trying to reach out to you, again, to no avail for the same reasons I stated before. Both options are sad. This specimen is just fucked up really.

6 & 5. The Husks and Woormy Charles

I think it's easy to understand why these guys are so high on the list. They're literal children.

Not just that, but these poor kids were stripped of their afterlife, forced to inhabit small and lifeless dolls against their will, were treated terribly in unethical experimentation, punished through inflicted pressure to keep them "in check", and weren't even seen as people by the workers who kidnapped them. And when GL Labs didn't have a use for them anymore? They were just abandoned and left to rot in the Dollhouse.

Woormy Charles rubs some salt in the wound by his note informing us just how much the workers at GL Labs were assholes. He was summoned and kept in a doll, but he broke out of it due to trying to stretch in it and finding it to be too small for him. Instead of just leaving the guy alone or try to give him a bigger doll to inhabit, they just tried the same thing over and over again, leading to more discomfort and pain for Charles. Eventually they chose to lock him behind a steel door, not wanting to deal with him. Disgusting and sad shit.

To add some more tragedy to Charles, it's implied by his death screen, particularly the lines "From these small holes the tendrils of bone finally escape. You are finally free of this constricted bag of flesh." that Charles kills you out of wanting to help you. Making the misunderstanding that you're trapped within a small body just like him. Even in his pain and discomfort, he's a precious little guy who doesn't mind trying to help others, even if his "help" results in unintentional death.

Everything about the Husks and Woormy Charles is sad. Imagine being a child who died early in their life. That's already depressing and sad enough, but at the very least you get to have some peace in afterlife. An afterlife where these kids got to spend some time with their ancestors presumably. That is until suddenly you wake up one day and you're in a strange facility surrounded by people you don't recognize. You're back on Earth, but you're stuck as a helpless doll now. A doll that can and will be used like an object and nothing else.

The concept of having you're afterlife taken away is such a unique and horrifying concept that I'm honestly disappointed that the dlc didn't expand or address it more. These kids most likely already suffered enough from whatever caused their deaths and no longer being able to live with their still living family and now they have to suffer again.

4. Hooked Doll

Everything that I just said prior also applies to Hooked Doll. Although she may have had it even worse. As the quote from her death screen goes into depth about what she went through.

"A 'wicked nasty' child was thrown into a pit.

No food, light or water was ever given to it.

Punishment was dealt, without mercy or hesitation.

As if justified by faith, or ownership from creation.

It was no righteous act, it was hellish, demon sent.

Eventually all will find out, in eternal torment."

It's pretty clear that this is mentioning the Hooked Doll directly. She was punished by being thrown down into the root cellar where she had hooks inserted into her as punishment for being a "wicked nasty" child. With the ones abusing her having no hesitation or guilt about it as the dolls are not "real people".

This traumatized and caused severe pain to the girl and turned her into a dangerous being as a result. The fact that "wicked nasty" is in quotation marks in the original quote implies that she wasn't all that bad as the GL Labs workers thought. She was abused and traumatized for some petty shit most likely. Making it all the more worse. Just horrible.

3. The Hanged Man

This poor guy. He was originally a regular patient at Karamari Hospital and from what we learn from one of Dr. Hamada's notes, he suffered from depression. Something that became worse when he learned about his terminal disease and how he was destined to die.

Things would only become worse once Ghost Cow popped up in the hospital and started possessing the doctors and nurses. The man's antidepressants would be cancelled and he would later be given doses of hallucinogenics which worsened his depression even more and made him become constantly paranoid.

At some point he would end up in the secret laboratory where he most likely went through more pain and torment, through experimentation, before finally committing suicide. That wouldn't end his hell however. Not one bit.

Being the awful hellspawn he is, Ghost Cow did something petty. He just... didn't allow the man to die.

As implied by these two hidden quotes, not only is the man forced to be kept alive by Ghost Cow, but he's fully aware that he's being controlled too. Unfortunately being unable to do anything about it.

The quotes shown above even seem to suggest that the man takes part of self harm or self cannibalism; since Ghost Cow enjoys and feeds off the self inflicted pain and torture the man is doing to himself. Getting a kick out of the man not being able to die despite their attempts at doing so.

This makes the encounter you have with him in the secret laboratory all the more sadder. Like the other monsters, he's not even in control of his own actions. He most likely wouldn't have harmed the player at all if it weren't for Ghost Cow puppeteering him.

The Hanged Man tells the story of a guy who was already having it pretty horrible in life. He was going to die soon thanks to his disease after all. Although it doesn't exactly make things better, he at the very least would be able to achieve peace in death. That and maybe right before his death he would have those he cares dearly about surrounding and comforting him. People that he would never forget even after being trapped infinite loop of suffering. His family.

But he couldn't even have that. He couldn't even enjoy an eternal sleep. He couldn't catch a break. Instead he would be tormented and toyed with. Despite his desperate attempt at suicide, Ghost Cow just brought him back, so he could played around with over and over again. In eternal suffering. If that doesn't sound like a horrifying and depressing living hell, then I don't know what does.

The Hanged Man and the kids mentioned prior are very close to each other in terms of how tragic they are and could easily swap places depending on how you look at it. The Hanged Man gets put just slightly higher than them for me because at least the kids don't have the deal with a demonic entity controlling them, leading to uncontrollable self harm, all while being unable to end the agonizing pain.

2. Baby Face

One of the most bizarre creatures in the game. Yet at the same time one of the most tragic.

Doesn't seem like there's much to talk about on the surface, but there is a very fucked up realization you'll have when picking up one single but major clue. "Old Experiments" is the theme that plays in the secret laboratory in Karamari Hospital. It seems to be more or less associated with Baby Face specifically; as this theme is heard in its Endless Mode chase in the OG version of SJSM.

The title of the theme explains everything you need to know. Baby Face was once an infant who was horrifically experimented on by Ghost Cow. Even if we don't know what experiments the infant went through, let alone how the end of those experiments resulted in the creation of that floating head in a cube thing; we do know that it most likely wasn't pretty or quick.

This is Ghost Cow we're talking about. The same monster who possessed staff and made them kill their patients, tortured a victim of depression, and did all of that with a grin on his face.

An infant. Not even a child. A literal infant who possibly couldn't even walk or talk ended up in the hands of that thing. The thought of it alone and what Ghost Cow could have did in those experiments is incredibly disturbing.

Yet it's still alive as seen ingame... presumably. Rotting down in a basement. Crying and wailing, most likely in pain and misery, to parents that it will never be able to hold it ever again.

1. Taker

TW: Mentions and descriptions of murder, torture, and rape. This is real life stuff we're going to be talking about here and what happened all those years ago was beyond awful. Just a heads up. Similar to how nobody was surprised at seeing Ghost Cow at the bottom of the list, I'm sure nobody is surprised that Taker is at the very top of this list. For some very good reasons.

Through an easter egg, the game pretty much tells you exactly what Taker's deal is.

Unit 731, directed by Shirō Ishii, and where the most horrific, awful, and downright disgusting war crimes you could imagine were committed during WW2. Unit 731 and the other unit locations associated with it have committed all of, but not limited to, the listed atrocities such as...

Use of biological and chemical warfare. Such as the use of rats and fleas infected with diseases which then were spread over Chinese cities (and they were even planning to attack the west coast of the United States with this warfare). Killing thousands. Contaminated food would be developed and used as well.

Victims ranging from the usual man and woman, to literal children, babies, and pregnant woman, were all subjected to the confined walls and cells of Unit 731 and the experiments within it. Where they either faced death or were in a great amount of pain and misery afterwards. Some children in question even grew up and spent most of their lives inside Unit 731, infected with diseases. And when they did die and had no use anymore? Their corpses were incinerated.

Speaking of those experiments, they included things like dangerous or lethal injections, dehydration, starvation, the draining of blood, standard and biological weapons testing, pressure chambers, gas chambers, crushing, burning, electrocution, injection of animal blood or seawater, spinning until death, organ harvesting, removal and reattachment of limbs, and vivisection.

Whenever victims were vivisected, they were not under any anesthetic. So when they were cut open? They felt every bit of it.

Frostbite experiments where victims were taken outside in cold weather and had their limbs frozen from being dipped in water. Ice was chipped away afterwards so the area could be further studied. Sometimes victims would just be thrown out naked in the cold until they died.

Forcing victims into having sex with each other so diseases could be transmitted. Said victims were later vivisected after infection.

Rape was common to force female victims to become pregnant. Children of these rape victims were presumably killed after birth or aborted. Once again to test how diseases like syphilis worked. Even then, rape would usually be committed for no real purpose by the staff other than being bored and having time to kill.

After WW2 ended, the "people" behind these experiments tried to cover their tracks by getting rid of all of their victims and any other evidence. These prisoners were killed either through injection, poisoned food, gas, guns, or being given the option of suicide. Thus there were no survivors and around 14,000 people were killed. Most likely a bit more if we take account of the other unit facilities.

Their prisoners were completely dehumanized. Often being referred to as "logs" and even the facilities they were trapped in were called "log cabins". Originating from a morbid joke among staff due to the cover up story for Unit 731 being a regular lumber mill. Doesn't help that they were also referred to as nothing more than "monkeys" in some of the journals of the "researchers" there.

Even the staff working at these facilities weren't safe. Sometimes they would get sick with the diseases they were trying to experiment with. When that happened? It was off to the operating table where they would be cut open, with no anesthetic, and would experience excruciating pain before dying just like everyone else. The people working in these facilities truly were uncaring, sadistic, and downright demonic, even to their coworkers.

Completely nightmare fuel inducing shit, as you can see. This gives a lot of tragic depth to Taker.

Firstly, the fact that Taker was once a regular human being who even had to go through that horrific shit at all. Being locked in a small cell, being dehumanized, hearing the screams of others, being deprived of food and water, most likely going through severe depression, experiencing agonizing pain before dying through experimentation, ect. Only to become the odd clay being that he currently is now afterwards. Now far removed from being human anymore.

Secondly, the fact that Taker wouldn't even be able to have some peace and quiet after he escaped from Unit 731. He had ran all the to Russia and was "hiding", as CAT-DOS puts it, inside an abandoned farmhouse. Presumably, he was hiding himself away from the world and wanted to be left completely alone. Most likely just wanting to have some kind of peace after all the trauma he experienced. But he couldn't even have that thanks to GL Labs. The most awful thing about his capture from GL Labs was that he was basically going through the same thing again. He had been taken from what he most likely viewed as his home, again. He was put into a science facility where he had little freedom and was under the control of the scientists working there, again. And he would be killed (at least temporarily) when he no longer had any use to the ones trying to control him, again.

Even if GL Labs isn't as disgustingly atrocious as Unit 731, it still is pretty fucking bad (remember the dolls?). One could only imagine the amount of PTSD or burning rage Taker felt once he realized he had ended up in the same position twice.

This is most likely why Taker was very hard to contain for GL Labs to the point where they temporarily killed him altogether. He really didn't want to be there and made multiple attempts at escape.

This brings me to my final point about Taker. What is his motive exactly? Well, he just wants to be human again. Or at least something close to one. He stalks the player the moment they go through the first door. Waiting for the moment where he can "take" them. He wants to "take the dead to take the dead...", as in he wants to take dead bodies so he can take more dead bodies. The final result being having his human body and powers back. So that way he can escape the mansion for good.

At the end of the game, Taker isn't able to succeed in his plan of taking the player, but he does find enough mass from corpses that we can see him absorbing before the start of his boss fight. He can finally try to make his escape, once he deals with and finishes off the pest in front of him.

He unfortunately never achieves such a thing though. Dying in all of the endings. At the very least, the good ending of the Dollhouse DLC implies that he can finally rest in peace. Still, everything I have stated prior about Taker is heartbreaking.

With that wrapped up, I do want to mention 3 more things about Unit 731. Part because I just think they're interesting and part because I think they add all the more to the tragedy behind Taker

1. Unit 731 was ultimately pointless

Whenever Unit 731 is brought up, some people like to point out that "yeah everything that went down there was horrible, but the science we gained is very important!" This is not true.

Frostbite or the "humans are made up of 60-70% water" thing is brought up for example, but it's generally agreed that a lot of the "science" and "research" done by Unit 731 was useless and unprofessional. The unit simply lacked adequate scientific and engineering foundations.

This most likely has to do with Unit 731 focusing mostly on bioweapons and chemical research that they could use for warfare than any real "science". Though it also has to do with a lot of the "research" at Unit 731 being done out of curiosity/sadism. A professor who watched footage of the experiments done at Unit 731 noted that "What medical purpose was served by performing and studying beheadings? None at all. That was just playing around. Professional people, too, like to play."

Was there maybe some findings from Unit 731 that were useful? Yes, but the large majority of it was either useless or could have been found out through more ethical means. Even the humans being made up of a specific percentage of water thing that people point to as being something that Unit 731 specifically discovered, has conflicting sources with how we found that out if you just do one simple Google search and some scrolling.

No matter how much you try to sugarcoat it, Unit 731 was just torture for the sake of torture. Nothing more. Those people died for nothing.

2. The war criminals behind these experiments were let go and didn't suffer any consequences

"Surely these researchers suffered some kind of punishment for what they did right?" Is what most would think upon hearing about Unit 731 at first. It seemed like that was going to be the case at first, but nope. The demented pricks were granted immunity by the government of the United States. Why? Because they wanted their oh so useful research of course!

These guys, including Shirō Ishii who was behind the whole thing, then went on to live pretty regular lives. Some however continued to perform unethical and atrocious human experiments, even receiving some secret funding from the U.S. government. A whole entire pound of salt dumped on the wide open wound there.

3. Japan's government has yet to apologize for or acknowledge Unit 731

Unit 731 and all of the other war crimes from Imperial Japan were, and still are, being treated as if they don't exist. Even when they are acknowledged in history books for example, they are very sugar coated and many details are left out.

It wasn't until 2002 when one of Japan's district courts acknowledged that, yes, Japan has done some very bad stuff in terms of Unit 731 and biological warfare. Since then though? Barely anything, if not, straight up nothing.

This is extremely bad for a simple reason. Why do history classes exist and why are they so important? So we don't repeat past mistakes and learn from those before our time who were much more flawed. What happens when history classes don't acknowledge an important part of history, or worse, sugarcoat or give misinformation about it? Mistakes are going to be repeated, people won't learn, and this will most likely create a snowball effect that will just get worse as time goes on.

The citizens of Japan either know very little or nothing at all about all of the horrible things Imperial Japan did during WW2. Instead of learning about these things and how they could not repeat them in the future; Japan's Government instead wants to put the idea of their country being heroic or being an unfortunate victim of WW2 (the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki for example) into the head of their citizens. No fault of the citizens of course, but it is absurd.

Japan wants to forget about its history and make others in the process also forget about it. The sad part? It's working. Not just with their citizens, but in general. If you go up to the average joe schmoe and ask them about Nazi Germany or the Holocaust they'll most likely go "Oh yeah! I know about them!". Ask them about Imperial Japan or Unit 731 however and you'll most likely be met with silent confusion.

It's interesting yet confusing. You would think Imperial Japan would talked about just as much as Nazi Germany or the Soviet Union when being used as an example of evil and what not to do, yet it seems like it's barely talked about. Even stranger how Japan is often idolized nowadays (to weird degrees) compared to Germany or Russia.

Everything about this is just fucked up, disgusting, and honestly frustrating. Past, present, future, it doesn't matter. It's just horrible.

Apologies for all the history talk, but I really wanted to drive in the point and make it clear on why Taker is at the very top of this list. Unlike all the specimens listed prior, who have tragic backstories, but said backstories are fictional, Taker's origins are based on real events. Real and awful events that to this day have an effect on this world.

Taker shows us how truly horrifying the world we live in can be. Sure, we don't live in a world with ghosts, strange monsters, or aliens looking to terrorize us; but we do live in a world with murderers, psychos, weirdos, and all the other deranged and creepy people you can think of that have some oddities going on in their mind.

Where are all the monsters in our world? They're all around you.

Conclusion

So um... yeah this took awhile lmao

I mean, I knew this would take awhile but damn.

I'm glad that I took my time with this though. This whole project was tiring at times but was still very fun! I'm glad with how this turned out. For now, I'm pretty satisfied with this ranking/tier list.

As for closing thoughts? Well, I will say this. A question that popped into my head while writing out all of this was "Y'know... what makes the specimens so likeable or unique compared to some other antagonists in horror media?". I'm sure many people will have many different answers to that question. For me personally, now that I'm done with this, I would say a factor that makes them likeable and interesting is this.

Often times in horror media the monster/monsters either have nothing explained about them or have a lot explanations and depth to them. If executed right, either option can be great and lead to interesting results. There's something that feels a bit different about the specimens though. They hit this middle ground that feels just right for me and makes them unique in my eyes.

Some information is given about the majority of the specimens in the form of CAT-DOS or notes, but the information given is just the right amount. You may know a few things about a certain specimen that make them stand out to you, but if you dig deeper and analyze the little details, you will come out looking at the specimen a bit differently. You can pinpoint and theorize certain things like what their motives are or why they behave in a certain way. Sometimes, you will view something about that specimen in a different way compared to others.

This is what make theorizing and analyzing these characters (and honestly just this game in general) so fun. Kira gave us some stuff that are made out to be pretty clear, but also some stuff that can be analyzed further or are interpretive by design. The universe of SJSM is like a sandbox. A good chunk of headcanons or theories can be made within it, but the sandbox isn't too big or deep to the point where it feels overwhelming or not fun like FNaF for example.

The specimens are interesting in that the game gives them character without explicitly giving them character... if that makes sense. It's this perfect middle ground between not knowing too much but not knowing too little either.

I don't know. I may just be yapping at this point lol. But I think it's interesting.

Anyways, thank you for reading! For my followers, I have a very small but important announcement that I'll be posting tomorrow, so stay on the lookout for that. Have a snazzy day peeps!

[usagikei]

꒰ა  YANDERE HEADCANONS with donquixote doflamingo. [n.sfw]

CONTAINS... fem!reader, abusive relationships, mind break, noncon, manipulation, somewhat graphic gore, typical doffy things, et cetera. A/N... i do not condone any of these things in real life. this was so self-indulgent that it's kind of humiliating. i'll most likely end up making a part 2 regardless of how well this post does. ♡

♡ Doflamingo is a man who will get what he wants, even if it means playing the long game. He's had his eyes on you for longer than you can comprehend, and every little occurrence in your life from then on was all a perfectly constructed ploy to have you all to himself. Getting laid off from your job? He bribed your manager. Nearly getting mugged in an alleyway? He hired the thieves. Your landlord kicking you out of the house? He threatened the landlord to do so.

♡ He plays with you like that for a while; all from the distance, enjoying your reactions to your life slowly going downhill. Then, after a year or two of terrorizing you, he gets bored of it soon enough, and finally decides to take real action to make you his.

♡ It's only natural he strikes when you're at your lowest. You can't seem to find work, you've nearly used up all your savings just trying to survive, and there's only so much begging you can do on the streets before your pride tries to fight back. However... just when you think you're finally done for, starving, trembling from the cold, and curled up in an alleyway, a shadow looms over you—and the first thing you see is a malicious grin.

♡ Doffy strikes a deal with you: work under him and he'll cover your food expenses, living expenses, and even throw in a little extra if you ever wanted to treat yourself. It almost sounds too good to be true at first, but that's exactly what Doflamingo's trying to go for. He knows you have no other option but to accept or die from starvation outdoors; his evil grin only grows impossibly wider when you accept his conditions, head hung low out of shame. You were coming with him either way—being submissive was the best choice, however.

♡ But don't get it twisted. You're not joining the family. You're his and his only. He'll either have you reside in his own personal quarters or a room right next to his, and brings you everywhere he goes even with force. You'll be on his lap or by his feet during meals, meetings, any time. He won't put shackles on you or anything; he trusts that you know what will happen if you dare disobey him or act out.

♡ In fact, any attempts at rebelling against him will end absolutely horribly. While he does enjoy someone who fights back here and now to make things fun, it does get irritating after a while. Doflamingo won't hesitate to do the unthinkable to you, even if he does love you; you stopped any attempts at rebelling against him when he used his devil fruit ability to force you to cut his name onto your body until you were sobbing from the pain and pleading for forgiveness.

♡ "After all I've done for you... I graciously took you in when you had no money, no food, no shelter, yet this is the thanks I get? You have no idea where you'd be without me, don't you? Most likely dead in a ditch or sold off to the slave market for a cheap price. Love, I think you should know your place."

♡ Doflamingo won't hesitate to make a statement to anyone else that tries to mess with you, either. Messing with his property was akin to asking for a death wish. Although, he's rather forgiving when it comes to his family—in fact, he finds it amusing when you're blushing in shame as Trebol and Diamante hurl the most vilest words you've ever heard in your life at you. (...he'll even let the two of them have a go at you if he's in the mood to watch you suffer.)

♡ When it comes to sex, he'll expect you to satisfy him whenever and wherever he wants to, completely oblivious to your own needs. Sorting through important documents or discussing certain things with the executives? He'll have you warming his cock with your mouth or your cunt, paying no mind to your embarrassment or to the other's prying eyes. Taking a bath? He'll have you cleaning him with your mouth. Any time, anywhere. Or else.

♡ He doesn't do soft and gentle. Doflamingo will have you crying, bruised, begging and sometimes bleeding by the time he's done with you. Even if you can't handle his cock in you (I mean, come on, he's 10 feet tall for fuck's sake) he'll find a way to shove himself deep in your cunt even if it means hurting you. He'll alternate between derogatory language and praises, trying to take in any reaction he'll get from you in such a sensitive, naked state.

♡ "Look at you, taking in all of me. Did your pretty little cunt miss my cock that much, love? Or have you finally ended up accepting your role as mine, as my whore?"

♡ Expect a lot of kinky shit from him; he'll have you calling him names like Sir, licking his boots, all tied up for him to touch, et cetera... He adores making you feel like you're beneath him, that the two of you are as different as heaven and the earth itself. Sometimes, he'll even share you with his own clone string to see you all fucked up from him and only him.

♡ "Did you think it was over already, dear? Oh, no, trust me, it's only just beginning. I'll have you fucked so hard you'd wish you were dead by the time I'm done with you. Too bad I wouldn't even let you die if you begged me to kill you, huh, darling?"

♡ While he is a yandere, he doesn't... really show his love for you in a typical manner. To him, he's satisfied with showing his love through sex even if forced and spoiling you with gifts after physically and sexually torturing you for hours ends. He doesn't really care if you don't return his feelings for you, because you both already know what'll happen to you if you dare try to reject his advances.

♡ However, in the case where you do finally break and give in to Doffy's unpractical form of love... Oh, dear, you're in for a ride of a lifetime with this cunning, cruel bastard of a man.

—- by cheri usagikei. 2023.

[afreakingdork]

Inflorescence

RotTMNT Donatello x Original Female Character One-Shot

The absolutely stunning chapter art was done by @goodforwho

Rated: Explicit

Warnings/Tags: Sex, Rough Sex, Vaginal Sex, Autoerotic Asphyxiation, Creampie, Yearning, Love, Established Relationship, Touch-Starved, Light Bondage, Light BDSM, Plant Bondage, Married Couple, Aged-Up Mutant Ninja Turtles, Penis In Vagina Sex, Gift Fic, One Shot

Synopsis: From a young age, Jun resigned herself to being alone. It's been years since and that hunger has not abated.

This one shot is dedicated to, inspired by, and a gift for @grumpytheunicorn who's OC, Jung-Hwa "Jun" B. Lee, fills me with nothing but glee. I hope you like it.

Also available on Ao3

LAST WARNING FOR THE 🍋 UNDER THE CUT. MINORS DNI!

Intimacy.

It wasn’t something Jun ever thought she would have. It wasn’t just that she convinced herself; it was a patent impossibility. She was untouchable in this world. There was family that evaded that rule when she was younger, but that time was finite. Clinging was something shy children grew out of. They grew into anxious adults that were plagued with loneliness until they did something about it.

What if there was nothing to do?

Starvation was baked into Jun’s skin. It was etched in the very green lines that Donnie was tracing with his tongue. It didn’t matter how much he touched her, it would always be there. It ghosted over every inch of her and only asked for more. This was what came from her lineage. Genetics had laid out designs on her very being. She was a colorful rendition of darted toxicity in amphibian form. For as visible as she was to ward off others, the years of neglect weren’t. Those were palpable, not tangible. It was hers alone to suffer with. 

Did Donnie know?

He acted like it sometimes. He would look both at her and through her to see that wraith draped over her shoulders. He’d tug her close under the guise of possessiveness or slap a hand onto her shoulder to keep the spectre at bay. Late at night when she was sure she would be consumed, he would roll over and wrap around her like a security blanket. He was everything she wanted and more.

It wasn’t enough.

Not when she was built to keep others at bay.

Not when her personality was wretched.

Not with the ilk that invited death painted her skin.

There was more still.

For her hunger, she had teeth.

A row of pretty sharpened fangs lined up in her mouth.

Why?

She was enough of a carnivore. 

Why did she of all things need a secondary defense mechanism?

Why was she the one cursed to be alone?

Donnie grabbed her then.

He moved on from his tasting to gripping and kneading. This, he didn’t know and never would. He couldn’t know that all of this was unnecessary. She loved the gambit of lovemaking and would never tell him that he alone soaked her. Her years of intangible fantasy nearly equaled those where she convinced herself she would be a solitary creature.

The two went hand and hand in what once stabilized of her sanity. If she couldn’t have touch in real life, then she had it in spades in the immaterial world. Through fiction and fantasy she fed and by the time Donatello came along he fit the mold of insertion whether he knew it or not.

Guilt had eaten away at her for fantasizing about her friend all those years ago.

How she yearned to tell her younger self that it would be okay.

That he would be the one.

That he would be holding her now, in vivo, and more.

Her life partner.

Her Nightshade.

The man that was unknowingly wasting his time with foreplay.

She threw her claws in to not be a passive participant. Those she minded less. They were wasted on pricking fingers when even the tap of a tip had enough toxic mucus to kill a lesser being. They were cosmetic in that sense and she fancied them. Her nails were pointed lines that made it easier to pick books or tick up page corners. They weren’t the mark of a prey animal needing to be protected.

Not that Donnie saw her like that.

To him, she was the predator. How, she would never know, but his face said it all. Even when he looked down on her, he was looking up at her might. His eyes shined with that spark of fear and it was in that where she always wondered.

It couldn’t have just been her being.

It had to be more.

He hadn’t been scared off by her fear.

He hadn’t been scared off by her poison.

He hadn’t been scared off by her teeth.

What was left?

He had to know about her hunger. He had to know that she wished to devour him. He had to know that despite their bond, their years, their time, their pledges, their children, and their culmination that she wanted more. That being twisted up around him only furthered the ache. That she wished to splice her genes with him until they were finally one being and she could know the true peace of another.

In that way, she supposed she was a predator.

She stalked and sought and her beloved matched her by wrapping the whole of his hands around her body. It was his might she craved and he gave it by lifting her. Another hand dipped between her legs to find the debased nectar that had been leaking from her since the moment their kiss promised sex.

She was ready.

She was always ready.

She had always been ready.

For him.

She was nothing, but an object to be moved as he lined her up. Sure, he spoke. He asked and she answered, but that wasn’t where she was. She was on a cellular level examining how close their particles could match. Her outer appearance was something that read a green means go, but inside she was wary stoplights. She needed to etch all those feelings before they evaporated as they always did. Coupling was another finite act and she needed to remember.

His scorched tip seared her entrance and marked her like words to a page. His ink would pen legions and be filed away amongst the scripture. It was a stroke, a rub to keep blotches from forming and she counted chapters off with the ridges of his cock. She descended each line of them with shivers and shakes. To the end of one section and onto highlight another, she was the bibliophile. She was a savant and voracious to a fault.

It wasn’t enough.

Not when he bottomed out.

Not when he used her like a frog shaped stroker.

Not when sweat beaded down her body and dropped like acid around them.

Not when he was holding her and she equally had him.

She was too small.

Not for the act, but for the play.

She needed more of him.

She needed once for him to truly know.

No more scientific hypotheses.

Donatello deserved to know.

For all that he had given her.

He was too lost in the throes to see the green mysticism crop up.

It blossomed within her like the color of his skin and she always wondered if it had foretold his arrival. It circled the brown of her eyes in the way he encircled her heart and burst forth with the only might she truly believed she had. Plants blossomed around their martial bed. They crept and snuck the way her mind had. Hidden from view, but breaking ground, they were the ill-fated weeds.

No plant was truly unwanted.

She had long learned that.

They only needed to find their place.

Their life.

Their match.

She pulsed around Donnie’s length and waited for the moment his eyes shut in ecstasy. She had always been a merciless fit for him and clenching his length siphoned more. She struck then, flora reaching out tendrils that only then gave her any form of pause. She had to meter them here. She had to exert control.

As much as she desired, this wasn’t just about her.

To be with another was to know their struggle.

Donatello knew hers, but not its depths.

She knew his the same.

Equal and opposite.

One could never truly be there.

He would never really understand her years of seclusion just as she would never know Krang possession.

She would never make him relive that.

Her plants weren’t hyphae.

She was Belladonna, not fungus.

She wasn’t trying to worm her way under his skin.

She blanketed him.

She coveted him.

She protected him.

More than her tiny fingers could ever reach of his muscles, vines thick with her mystical life blood curled up and over his biceps. He jarred at them and he wasn’t privy to the new bedmate until he realized there wasn’t one. Jun was enveloping him and it only took a flick of his pupil to give his consent.

He was hers to have and to hold. 

It lit further green flames in her eyes and she let loose her consumption.

Plant life licked and swallowed the jade of Donatello’s skin. It ate inward, clinging and growing over the expanse of his huge body. For every bulge, it wrapped and clung until his trellis was adorned. He was a stunning picture of greenery that enhanced his landscape. Pockets of need beaded between growth and caused a slip and slide of the water plants craved. They leeched it away from his skin and sought further until she was the one fucking herself on his cock.

She bounced as he gave way to the many limbs and felt wickedness leak into her expression. He was within her bondage and one snap of her mystical energy drew the ropes. It strung him backwards, pulling his deltoids to peak protuberance and knotted cuffs around his hands. Grips slid up his brain stem to capture the width of his mind and tugged to full attention. He was primed for the Ludovico technique in which he couldn’t look away. This was his rare glimpse at her true depth and he took it with only that fearful awe she never quite understood. It shone bright in his eyes and a wrap of root tucked itself around his throat. For a moment she let herself think about his life in her hands for once and she squeezed.

It cut off his oxygen and she waited with bated breath.

Her dark lips parted plump because she could take in whatever she wanted while he couldn’t.

He mouthed a few times for her until he got his lips in order.

She slammed down his length to take one last jab of his cock before she coaxed him closer to her tympanum.

The restriction of his esophagus caused his irises to swim as a murky bubble leveled with her eye line.

“I love you.” He rasped.

She could have come right then.

Hearts puckered her pupils and she bequeathed him his life back by letting go of his throat. He wheezed stars and she tore into the unrelenting nature of his plastron for a hold. There wasn’t one amongst the nicks and wear, so she made one with her vegetation. Holding the reigns around his body, she fucked him mercilessly. He gave up his power in the dynamic easily in favor of euphoria. 

He’d cum just like this, she decided, and felt the slap of her tits against her torso. It marked the speed at which she was plowing him and, for once, he was the tender field. She would elicit any number of crops from him depending on how she proceeded, but all she wanted was the climax. She wanted to see him give way to her and his winding was imminent by the way his eyes disappeared in a roll.

She could join him.

She decided she would.

As a treat for her little reveal.

She held him steady and, in a swivel of her hips, she caught her favorite pleasure points. Ones deep inside and only accessible and reachable by her Donatello, she struck a dangerous flint to stone. It was her mortal enemy's tinder, her flora’s ever opposite’s flame, and her great undoing that within only a few strokes she was close.

He was closer and it was the pump and pinch of his cum that sent her over.

The seeding a palpable one, she gave wholly over to the sensation and quivered for the sake of it. The blotch painted her insides and leaked out of the tiny space and back down to him, its owner. In a sudden unfurling, the plants tucked backward to blossom and a sea of calla lilies burst forth to signify their union. It was a white on white from her stunted vision and the yellow only came in after as a pistil’s lick of the beared fruit.

“I love you too…” She ushered the end of their session with her response before collapsing into him like sleeping petals who had temporary satiation from the sun.

At least for now, until the appetency came for her once again.

💜💚

(If you'd like to support me or keep up to date on what I'm posting, I've got my Patreon)

An extra special thanks to my betas who still deal with me even when I coldcock them with something like this out of nowhere @tmntxthings and @thepinkpanther83

[oceanlipgloss]

CIGARETTES

BEELZEBUB.

+ warnings: dark themes, erotic hues, strong language.

+ female mc, feminine pronouns, hints of female mc’s official appearance.

She was used to that.

It was the new definition of normality, how he lit cigarettes as she talked. And it was pretty, the way shadow and light painted his face, sensual like the curl of bitter smoke. Watching a vermillion eye glow and glare up at her was routine.

And God, was it obscene.

Smoking is such a hideous thing—it turns lungs black and rotten—they could say that all they wanted, but with that thin roll of white cancer locked between his smirking lips, she thought he looked much too sexy.

Because damn it, wasn't he?

No matter how many stale batches of reports and diagrams science put together to cook into bland facts, she would forever think he's hot, honestly. Physics, biology and chemistry are as real as anything, but so is twisted beauty.

She even fantasised about him and his sweet cigarettes. In that profane realm of her own making, her fingers picked the pitiful remains of one cigarette out of many from his ashtray, and her angry hand crossed those stupid tattoos out.

His silly, moronic tattoos.

Seriously, how much of a psycho can one man be? Bite me, kiss here, suck here?

All bullshit.

Yeah, he was crazy.

But she was crazier. Much crazier.

Why else would she take nub after nub and scratch the messy ink over with a brand of hunger that would make him dizzy?

He never even needed those black absurdities on his body in the first place, did he? Not when so many souls ate ideas about him oh so filthy and liked to imagine falling at his feet.

And anyways, that was truer than ever at this point. He didn't need those writings on him, because she was there now. Everyone else could feed on their tasteless daydreams, but she knew what it was like to sink her teeth into the real thing.

He couldn't crave another; she wouldn't let him. Why would she, when he had her now—in the flesh, with her blood and all of his gluttony? 

However: such zeal must never be mistaken for simple jealousy, as she felt his sin gush like death in her veins, really! It was everything—starvation, need, indulgence—and it was boundless. It respected no limits and crushed satiation between its teeth as though it were mere candy, just like he did.

He was all about having more, more, more. And fuck, she wanted to give him more, whatever that was. After all, she too wouldn't allow anyone to feast on her property. Actually, in her fantasy, she was the one who swallowed him whole—not the other way around.

Who cares if he was the one with the spitting image of gluttony?

She could also be.

Flesh—to devour all there was. So be it, she itched to see him try.

Sex—insatiable desires. She would take the cake, with pleasure, right before his eyes.

Drugs—drugs in his blood. Too bad. She would turn him into an addict pathetically famished.

Sometimes, she was just as starving as he probably hated to be—as starving as he was. Starving for dirty heat, starving for sickly passion, starving for sweaty skin.

Starving for him.

One line, two lines, three—each melding into the shape of the glazed muscles on his body. How cold and soft cigarette ash could be! Kind of feathery.

Purple hair—brushing his hot skin with ticklish tips while she circled around him like a devil herself, her thoughts nasty.

Another line—slithering down his arm, then curving towards his back in a pleasant arc.

Pale fingers—sliding under wet fabric, pushing it higher, higher, higher, giving that line a chance to coil around the perfect contours of his tense stomach. Oh, that's just an excuse, by the way. There was no need to push it that high away. She just felt hungry.

Hungry to see more, to touch more, to tease more.

Again.

In her mind, ashy streaks smeared him, both perfect and jagged from lustful tremors despite the challenge that continued to blaze in his wild green eyes.

Soon it got too much, though. Lips swelled, saliva dripped, cigarettes puked gray entrails. They had to stop, do something else.

Was time to satisfy the palate again, now was it?

+note: given what I'm about to say, I should've put this in the beginning, but I always stamp my notes at the end, so...BEHOLD! Welcome to the buffet. Feast on my first WHB fanfic :P yes ik it's too late to say that when you've already finished eating reading shhh now

+ MASTERLIST

+ AO3 POST

©𝙤𝙘𝙚𝙖𝙣𝙡𝙞𝙥𝙜𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙨

[envihellbender]

An immobile feedee starves their feeder

Rating: Mature (horror and kink)

Characters: Zachary Redvers, Horatio Ewart, Claud Ewart (OCs)

Content: Extreme weight gain, starvation, death

—

“Thank you,” Zach said politely as he took the cup. He gave a warm smile to the terrified young man before him before he sipped his tea from the chipped ceramic mug. He delicately placed it onto the stained coffee table and resisted the urge to look up towards the groaning, wheezing noise that came from the ceiling above him. He was sat on the threadbare sofa and opposite him was Horatio Auclair (now Ewart), someone he’d been trying to track down for weeks. He was a missing person who Zach was convinced was connected to the latest in a string of disappearances. He was convinced the terrifyingly skinny young man opposite him was the answer to everything he needed to know. However, one look at him and it was clear he was a victim, he was as pale as paper with sharp edges poking through his skin. His silver eyes were half lidded and he shivered even underneath his several layers of clothing.

“Who’d you say you were again? Are you a detective?” Horatio asked shakily, he was looking around the room as if trying to avoid Zach’s gaze. Where he didn’t look however was at the yellowing ceiling where strange snorting noises were emanating from.

“Yes. Apologies for not formerly introducing myself,” Zach smiled, folding one leg over the other. “My name is Zachary Redvers. A private detective, I was hired by a Mister and Missus Hector McCarthy to investigate the case of their missing son. Theodore.”

“I- I haven’t lived here very long,” Horatio rambled, he sounded terrified, a tremor in his throat with his eyes growing wet. “I don’t know anyone especially not anyone who’s-”

“Oh, I’m sure you don’t,” Zach interrupted. “I’m dropping in on everyone in the area where the boy was last found. Maybe you’ve seen something peculiar lately that seems completely unrelated.”

“Um. Well. Alright. What does he look like? The boy who’s gone missing?”

“He’s seventeen, white, little short for his age, a few pockmarks on his cheeks, curly brown hair, green eyes, and a snaggletooth. He walks with a limp on his right side,” Zach repeated from his notebook. Or at least he was pretending to act as if he was reading, in reality he was watching Horatio and studying the dawning recognition on his face which he was trying to hide.

“Sorry, doesn’t sound familiar,” Horatio mumbled. He began chewing on his nails.

“Ah, I thought it was a long shot-” Zach hesitated as obscene, squelching noises rang down the stairs.

“I apologise, my father is extremely unwell, I take care of him. It’s why I moved here,” Horatio interrupted, his skeletal cheeks burning a deep pink in embarrassment.

“Oh your father, that would be Claud Ewart, yes?” Zach knew that was the only declared tenant of the house, and also that no one knew him to have any children.

“Well, yes it- it would-” Suddenly there was a loud banging and a shout of something wheezing and garbled that could have been ‘Tio’. “Excuse me, I have to see to him.” Horatio got to his feet and hurried to the stairs without a second glance and before Zach could reply. He noticed that Horatio was struggling for breath, he definitely seemed like a victim in all this. Would the Courts see it the same way? Zach waited until Horatio reached the top of the stairs and then quietly got to his feet, now he was alone he could get to the real reason he came.

It didn’t take him long to find the cellar, the house was small, it was tidy and clean, but the wallpaper curled away from the wall and the furniture seemed ancient. The kitchen was filled with barrels and crates, it smelled like an old butcher shop but no where near as appetising. Behind an old, barely used ironing board was a door to the cellar. Zach was expecting to need to pick the lock but as soon as he twisted the handle it opened, so suddenly he almost lost his footing. He snuck down the rotting stairs, worried that his boot would go through one as he heard a wheezing, furious yelling from above. When he reached the floor he coughed and spluttered, he took out his handkerchief and covered his mouth and nose. He recognised that smell.

The cellar was badly kept, the floor was damp and there was a strange substance congealing on the floor. If Zach had to guess he’d say it was liquified organs, blood, and waste that had been left to rot. There were two rooms in the cellar, one that was filled with rubbish and clutter, that had scurrying noises filling the air with the distant shouts from above. When Zach entered the second room he froze. This is what he’d been looking for, he was a mixture of horrified and relieved. Before him was a large pile of bones, bigger than he’d ever seen before. When he inspected them further the several rib cages confirmed they were human without the need for any testing. They looked as if they had been sucked clean by animals, or something. As he rummaged through them he deduced there would be at least twenty adults worth, perhaps more. He was so focused that he didn’t notice the shouting had stopped. It when he was holding a collarbone and studying it that the voice interrupted him.

“I had hoped you wouldn’t pry too much,” Horatio said causing Zach to drop the bone and spin on his heal, his cheeks burning red when he saw two genuinely sad grey eyes looking at him.

“I- I apologise. But I had a job to do,” Zach answered, had he been found by the killer he’d have lied. As it was he thought the truth might win Horatio over. “You don’t have to be afraid. If you come with me, I can tell them your father made you do this-”

“What- no. I can’t-” Horatio swallowed and his eyes looked up. “No. I can’t leave Father. I’m sorry. I’ll have to bring you to him.”

“Why don’t we go back upstairs for a chat? Or perhaps we could go somewhere, I could buy you something to eat?” Zach offered. Horatio’s eyes widened in desire, something primal and desperate to be fed filling him.

“I- you- well- I erm-” He spluttered, his skinny arms wrapping around his torso. “I- you- really? Like what?”

“Well, what’s your favourite?”

“Baked potato?” The absolute desperation that Horatio showed at such a simple food made Zach’s chest ache.

“Absolutely.”

“I- okay. Well, erm,” Horatio paused. “Father wanted me to bring you upstairs anyway. So I’ll have to. But. Erm. Maybe we don’t tell him who you are. And then you leave?”

“We leave,” Zach corrected.

“Yeah. We leave.” Horatio’s tone was uncertain and he gently took Zach’s wrist and pulled him firmly towards the stairs. The detective wasn’t convinced he’d gotten Horatio on his side and this wasn’t a trap - but he was out of the basement and that was a step-forward. Horatio wasn’t strong, and even though his grip was attempted to be firm it wasn’t. He was too weak and hungry and to do so. When they reached the kitchen Horatio stopped and turned to Zach. “I told him you had just moved in to the boarding house next door. Said you wanted to know some directions and we got talking.”

“Oh, I- yes. Thank you. Really, that’s really brave of you, Horatio,” Zach said, his rich brown eyes blinked a few times in shock and his lips parted as he found himself truly stunned. “Can I ask about the cellar-”

“They… were the others. He’s not-” Horatio swallowed. “He’s not my Father. He- I’ve only lasted this long because I kept bringing him- there were twenty five before me. Twenty five that fed him until they starved. And I brought him eight. I didn’t- I didn’t want to die. I don’t want-”

“Hey,” Zach interrupted as he saw Horatio getting more and more panicked, he placed one light brown hand on Horatio’s shoulder. “I believe you.” There was a wheezing loud shout from above that made Horatio wince. “So what’s the plan?

“If you pretend to be the neighbour then- then he should be- he should let you go. And. And I can-you’ll protect me?” Horatio asked. His voice was a whine, almost like a lost child’s. Zach forced a smile, attempting to seem stronger and braver than he was.

“Yes. Absolutely. What- what would he do if he doesn’t let me go?” He couldn’t help but ask.

“Let’s… You don’t want to know.” Horatio didn’t say any more and took Zach’s wrist again, pulling him upstairs, and he realised they Horatio just desperately needed some human contact. Zach followed dutifully, repressing the urge to cough and vomit when he felt the intense, overwhelming smell of sweat fill his body as he climbed the stairs.

“Papa,” Horatio said, his voice softer and more submissive than it had been downstairs. “This is Zach. From next door?” He spoke as he opened the door and pulled Zach inside, and the detective for the first time in a long time after years of cases froze.

Before now, the biggest person he’d seen was the five hundred pound police chief, but this creature could have swallowed him whole. The upstairs seemed to be predominantly flesh, mounds of sweat and filth covered adipose that was at the top a grunting, groaning, wheezing head that was just a thick appendage sinking into a huge neck tire. Zach felt his blood and organs turn to ice and then water, he began to wonder if either him or Horatio really would ever leave.

[from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras]

I just finished a re-read of Apsley Cherry-Garrard’s account of his time on the nightmarish Terra Nova Antarctic exploration, and it inspired me to look again at some helcaraxë art. I think Tolkien would have been aware of all of the most prominent Antarctic explorers, who were active when he was a young man and were very famous in their time, and I wonder how much he was thinking about their specific experiences as he worked on the story of the Noldor who were forced to cross the grinding ice.

Some of the real life accounts are truly horrifying and, of course, a bunch of them end with death. You’ve got people forced into unexpected terrain without access to proper supplies, trying to cross a hellish ice plain with a single axe, 15 meters of rope and boots with screws and nails pushed into the soles. 

You’ve got people trapped away from camp and racing against starvation to get back, starting out at full rations before cutting to half and then a quarter and eventually getting down to one biscuit per day per person, and even that is sometimes given up so that the weakest among them can have a little more and perhaps stave off disaster for a little bit longer.

You’ve got groups trudging across a mountainous ice field with snow blindness, hurricane force gales, every mile of forward progress requiring 3 miles of walking because they have to keep doubling back to help stragglers and retrieve supplies, but they’re still gamely trying to sing songs and hymns that can be heard above the screaming wind to remind themselves of better times and places.

You’ve got guys walking along one minute and the next they’ve vanished, swallowed up by a crevasse that didn’t even exist 10 seconds ago and now they’re broken and battered at the bottom of it.

You’ve got people having to hole up in tiny little snow caves to wait out storms that last for weeks on end, everyone so on top of each other that they all end up with dysentery and they can’t keep a fire going because the smoke chokes them, so they’re shivering so hard that their teeth break and every humid exhalation freezes immediately into a layer of rock hard ice on their clothes, gear, sleeping bags, skin.

You have injuries that no longer heal, frostbite that deprives people of the ability to walk, malnutrition that drains people of the energy to do anything at all, and so others are not just pushing forward with the weight of their own bodies and their own gear but the weight of the makeshift sledge that’s pulling their incapacitated friends because all the ponies and dogs have long since starved or been eaten.

You’ve got people who can see clearly that their dear friends’ refusal to abandon them despite their desperately poor condition is endangering the lives of others, and so one night they make their peace with death and quietly walk off into a blizzard on their own.

But despite all of that, some of them survived to tell the tales. They made discoveries. They pushed the limits of human knowledge and achievement. They went home to have families, or not. They became lifelong friends, or forever blamed each other for decisions that were made. They were endlessly proud of what they’d done, or regretted that they’d ever become involved. They went on to great historical acclaim or relative obscurity. They lived.

I don’t know. Feels relevant.  

[astarab1aze]

Viostra Notes

a lot of this is very messy and mixed in refinement; please don't mind the disasterrific amalgamation of nonsense that doesn't seem related but is.

Viostra is an extremely old city that was once sister to Miraglas. A land now cursed by Hydre to forever remain suspended in rot, decay, unending cycles, suffering, illness, mindlessness, starvation, and more for the crime of Knight-Commander Azfodel's constant push for war - and the eventual destruction of Miraglas in the War of Souls - and the pollution of the Enum Glais, the river of life, cutting through Viostra's cliffs and forested arboretum. As a consequence of the curse set upon them, Azfodel fell deeply into insanity upon returning home from the war, death and trash polluting the river, and thusly waged the Viostran Civil War, which saw to a much more...violent culling of the people than was seen in Miraglas despite some castles, healing houses, schools, the like still standing. This madness was much more deep-seated than you might thing, and in some ways reasonable -

There are and were many who sought to harness Fate, Destiny, Life, and Death and such natural cycles. Azfodel returned from a long and arduous journey to find his home littered with the rot of hedonism and inequality, an oppressive ruling class crushing its servile classes beneath. He was righteous and just once. The enemies of Viostra (Miraglas, Hydre), too, sought to destroy them and take over, to covet the river's clarity and power (actually, Hydre was pissed about his water being polluted). Then starvation began, civil war broke out, and war with their enemies, too, was waged. Chaos.

Azfodel, too, was revived time and time again, steadily becoming more and more influenced by the "river's will" (the curse). He was only corrupted by his own anger, his own hatred, as is often the case in the real world. Noble causes becoming twisted and corrupted by the selfishness of their actors. The 'river' took advantage of his stalwart yet obviously broken will. To protect what still remains. Or did it? Does the river have a will, or is Azfodel batshit? Is Azfodel a good and noble man even in his unlife, or is he corrupted and enraged by the suffering he's been witness to? By the suffering he was forced to take part in? Is the River protecting what remains of itself by calling in the souls of stronger heroes from other worlds? Reviving them, subjecting them to untold suffering of their own so they yet become stronger, to put an end to evermore suffering?

Much of the wanton violence is a direct result of panic brought on by famine, widespread cannibalism. But why were they starving? The civil war, the aftermath of Miraglas' destruction, the curse. A battle of attrition, really. The once beautiful, clear river now runs red with the blood of those caught in it all. You might imagine there's also a shitload of bodies floating around in there. And since souls are real, tangible things in this world, it is their remaining life force that provides the Trespassers with revival. In the end, the river, despite its hideous appearance and all that's polluted it, is still life-giving after all.

Mage Class

Abyssus Prima are a methodical, meticulous, neurotic, scientific, and extremely powerful sect of sorcerers specializing in Void Sorcery. And also extremely hostile. They developed gravitational magic, shadow magic, abyssal magic, and were at one point favored by the Viostran Crown, with a number of its alumni enlisted as Royal Court Sorcerers. They primarily dress in silky, elaborate robes and their colors are black, silver, and white. All void sorceries are characterized by the same monochromatic shades, a glowing abyssal shimmer.

They have a not so friendly but not quite confrontational with the Natura Prima, who are sorcerers dedicated to the school of natural magic, spells involving bestial sorceries, earth magic, and some healing magic. The Natura Prima lasted far longer than the Abyssus Prima following the Viostran Civil War, but they ultimately succumbed to the consumptive, disastrous chaos themselves. They were favored by the nobility and often hired on as private tutors or on expeditions of varying natures to be healers/support - that is to say, they were more respected than the Abyssus Prima by the people, albeit the middle to upper classes mainly. They are associated with brown and green as well as vine and floral motifs, and their strange, breathy style of incantations.

The Flumen Prima are the 3rd sect of mainstream, acceptable sorcerer factions and focus solely on water-related sorceries. They are considerably more mysterious than the other two and it is thought that their sect is much smaller in population; Elusive and woefully, dramatically enigmatic. They developed all types of combat-related water sorceries; Manipulating water in all its forms is a hallmark of their combat style, though they aren't particularly well known for engaging in battle. They are hermits all, and loathe to be bothered for anything by anyone. Naturally, they are associated with dark and light blues as well as wave patterns and 'fluid' spellwork.

They were once a unified coalition of sorcerers, but if they had a collective name, it is no longer known. Nor is it known why they are divided, though it may have something to do with events leading up to the civil war.

The Sightless Eye

Sanctuary of Eyes, The Eyeless Sanctuary, something like that. This faction's magic is referred to as Cosán Dall, or the Blind Path. Initiation is done through the voluntary gouging of their eyes, which they are to offer to what they say 'sees all, knows all, and teaches all' - they call this entity the Sightless Leighis (Irish Gaelic for medic/healer/etc; sounds sort of like yay-giss. ish, close enough).

The Killgarden (the actual garden of eyes) is a sort of defense mechanism for the Sanctuary. A maze-like garden surrounding its cathedral, full of horrible things for would-be trespassers to get killed by. This is protection offered to initiates, what keeps them safe within their sanctuary, both pre- and post-eye gouging. The Sightless Leighis is considered to be benevolent and incredibly wise, and is associated with the air and storms here; the colors green, gold, and light blue; the sigil a vine-laden half-open eye with Storm Flowers blooming at the ends of the vines, a three-ring pattern where the pupil should be.

Now, the Sanctuary is in utter shambles. Broken down, crumbling stone, rotted wood, collapsed roof and broken Cathedral Anatomy Things. Shattered windows, blood splatter everywhere, bodies everywhere. Sections of the garden burned, Duskmorne soldiers among the bodies. And a single Grand Cleric of the Rún Bás* in just the right spot to make her seem entirely out of place, perhaps up to no good... And also very much dead. This particular Grand Cleric was Bláthóir (blaw-hayr), which means 'golden flower' (Irish Gaelic is a little tough to work out lol).

*The Rún Bás are the Sightless Leighis' assassins.

The Duskmorne

A faction within the Viostran city-state that touts strict adherence to values of a bygone era. Their true beliefs are ultimately rather unclear, as their behaviors suggest they are hostile as a whole and unwilling to divulge much information. They are characterized by a mysterious sigil involving an archaic moon above a sun with three lines vertically slicing through them, and the colors purple and silver. In addition, their symbols are often accompanied by Viostran star-runes (runes drawn from constellations, both in terms of power and appearance). The moon is a primary symbol and water is the element they are most commonly associated with. Before the war that would plunge Viostra into utter, unceasing decay, Duskmorne was considered a respectable institution that merely didn't put up with being slighted; They were perceived as just and capable, spiritual and righteous as they were calculating and sometimes cynical.

The god they followed - the Maiden of Evenfall (Mausza, technically) - commanded reverence and brooked no quarter, thereby considered to be an 'unflinchingly harsh mother' to her Duskmorne. Structure, piety, and propriety are notable principles among adherents, as unbending loyalty, duty, and selflessness (specifically in regards to the Maiden) are virtues. Whatever Her will, they exist to fulfill it. They believe her to be benevolent, to 'know what is best' and act accordingly, even if they do not understand why. To question or challenge their faith is widely considered heretical as well as pointless; She is the answer, and to deny Her is to deny truth, reality, love, loyalty, and so on. To deny Her is to deny guidance and faith.

There are few adherents who managed to maintain their sanity - and life - after the War of Souls, but nearly all remnants are mindless and hostile shamblers without purpose. They sided with Azfodel, who was himself a Duskmorne adherent.

They are alternatively referred to as the Twilight Order and Duskmorne Knights, though they have other names.

The Maiden of Evenfall is believed to appear as an ethereal, beautiful young woman clad in wine-colored, hooded robes dotted in starry patterns and an archaic full moon, with hair that shines of 'starlight and polished silver' and dimly-glowing eyes. The breadth of her power is unknown but believed to be rather wide, implying she is all-powerful or at least close to it.

Some Items

⸻Crystallized Blood Stones, Soul Stones - Curiously, a human soul seems to have condensed and crystalized into a glowing orb. While its use remains unknown, there is undoubtedly a feeling of strength emanating from it, and it appears to invigorate whosever holds it… ( desc. courtesy of @melancholymirth )

⸻Wings of the Valkyrie, Valkyrian Wings - What appear to be the wings of the mythical gryphon, hide torn from where they were plucked, now fashioned into a cloak that promises agility, altitude, and the potential to glide for the wearer. Its exquisite stitching and decoration, contrasted against obvious marks of rugged wear, suggest that it once belonged to a warrior of high rank and privilege. ( desc. courtesy of @melancholymirth )

⸻Unnamed Restorative* - A reddish-brown liquid, with crystalline powder settling at the bottom of the flask containing it. Like dirty water in appearance, that's been allowed to settle, more red in hue. Almost the same shade as the Enum Glais, but with the crystalline sediment making it almost, almost, almost prismatic in the right lights. Gives it an air of oh yes this might NOT be poison! A sort of shine that's dulled over unknown lengths of time. A little river water mixed with crushed quartz and Soul stones, and a select herb or two.

⸻Champions' Ripclaws - Formerly belonging to a champion of blood sport, who also served bloody justice to those condemned to death under the rule of barbaric law. These claws were designed to effortlessly rip through even the thickest animal hides, to say nothing of what it would do to the doomed villain's flesh and bone. It seems years of dedicated use has not left the steel any more dull than when first forged. The padded, leather lining makes these claws comfortable to wear. ( desc. courtesy of @melancholymirth )

*It's common practice to know how to make things like this, though I suppose there would be a group or two specializing in medicine at one time or another. With the cannibalism in Viostra, a sect of Plague Doctors would have become a thing since people eating other people inevitably results in madness and disease - and some of them would of course be avid liars, charlatans, thus turning their sect into a target during the civil war.

[bonebabbles]

First Battle Aftermath

For the first battle itself go here

lol. Lmao, even.

Not, "Oh my god what have I done," but "I'm so weak. I can't even kill," while wearing Rainswept Flower like a new pair of fur boots

first Adoption Win in 3 books. What's the tally on that one-- 1 to 10?

Clear Sky doesn't understand the point of burials lmao. Dude did leave that dead mom he killed out in the open for the flies to find, until Wind Runner and Gorse Fur came across the corpse and put it in the ground.

And he can't remember killing Rainswept Flower either, in spite of the fact he was coherent enough to justify his actions to Gray Wing, because the Clear Sky chapters aren't meant to be a glimpse into the mind of a detestable character. They exist to garner your sympathy.

Was that enough regret for you? Hope you got your fill because it's RIGHT back to Gray Wing's Excuse Hour

WE?!

WE LET IT GET TOO FAR

We Let It Get Too Far

"My brother :(((( He's a good man :(((((((( He's a good guy even though he just starved Jackdaw's Cry before trying to murder everyone and told Thunder he shouldn't exist and slaughtered Rainswept Flower in a fit of rage :((((((((((((((((((( He gave up some food after I asked him to when we were like 17 so that means he could never be a bad person"

It's right there on the goddamn page, Clear Sky wasn't BORN EVIL so he's GOOD ACTUALLY because NO CAT CHANGES THAT MUCH.

It's EXPLICIT, am I going crazy here?! The narrative says EXACTLY that because he was good when he was young, he can't possibly have changed into a monster. "No one changes that much"

FEAR OR GREED. GOOD OR EVIL. The writing is SO BAD that they attempted to tell a story with an ounce of more nuance than usual and just ended up re-inventing a Light vs Darkness dichotomy with different nouns!

And just when you thought we'd hit rock bottom, StarClan arrives with the reinforcements needed to DIG DEEPER

Enjoy Clear Sky being called a fool once, just a silly little slip-up, an Oopsie Daisy. "I only wanted--" goes UNADDRESSED as Turtle titters about "killing only ever leads to more killing" because they have to find SOME way of getting mad at Tall Shadow too.

Turtle Tail says some romantic schlock to Gray Wing about the kits and thanks Thunder for scraping her pancaked body off the pavement where she died, and then Gray Wing decides that actually he's mad that her magic ghost came down from the heavens because it's Too Painful to see her again or something. Because he's a GREAT character.

"We came to spread the Good News Gospel, Gray Wing. You need to know that god is real to live here peacefully."

DOTC is about to say that the cats need StarClan to avoid these sorts of massacres, because actually Clear Sky is fearful, NOT greedy, and believing in God means he won't be so scared that he feels the need to abuse women and children

(But also that everyone's kinda responsible for the First Battle because Clear Sky is a good boy and WE let it get too far)

Anyway, Fridge Wife 2 starts interrogating Clear Sky. They do this incredibly insulting chapter transition where Gray Wing goes, "idk if he wants to listen to herrrr..." and Clear's chapter opens up with "LOVE OVERWHELMS HIM" because, AGAIN, Clear Sky's chapters exist to garner your sympathy.

"I was scared my heart would break if I had to see someone else die, which is why I wanted to kill orphans, threw disabled people out into the wilderness, clobbered a kitten, told my son he shouldn't exist, performed public humiliations, and beat 3 women to death"

Wanna take a break and go check out the tally of things he did in the past 3 books, and compare it to his self-defense? Be Storm! Go check that out, keep everything he did in mind.

Ask yourself this; were his actions truly consistent with someone who was just scared he would see someone die of starvation, OR, were they consistent with a domestic abuser who enjoys the power he has over people?

Storm buys it.

"FEAR IS WHAT DROVE YOU," she said with relief.

If you're AFRAID then ABUSE IS UNDERSTANDABLE. IT'S OKAY! It's all fine in the end if your motivator wasn't greed, AKA "BORN EVIL"

"Now you see there's no need to be afraid because God is real, death isn't the end, and the assurance of religion with an eternal afterlife will make you a better person"

They're saying pain is less painful if you believe in God and this is why Godless Heathens are bad in the Warrior Cats series. When Gray Wing decided to proselytize to Wind Runner and tell her it was good that her weakest child died, because it meant he was in a "better place", THIS is what that was building to narratively.

PIETY will fix Clear Sky's abusiveness. YAAAAAAY!

ALSO THIS IS TALL SHADOW'S FAULT TOO SOMEHOW?!

DIE AGAIN, SHADED MOSS, BEFORE I BEAT YOU INTO COSMIC DUST. I HOPE THERE'S MORE TRUCKS IN HEAVEN

"how did you know he was going to kill-" CONTEXT. CLUES.

SHE MADE AN EDUCATED GUESS BASED ON ALL THE CATS POKING HOLES IN EACH OTHER AND SHOUTING "it's murderin' time!!!"

She was a female Warrior Cats character in the general vicinity so they had to make sure to shame her because god forbid they imply that Clear Sky is the only one to blame for this bloodbath

In fact they do it again, Clear Sky snaps and starts barking at River Ripple for being a foreigner in his presence, right in front of God, and they don't skip a beat,

It CANNOT remain about Clear Sky, EVER. Storm whips over to GRAY WING and accuses HIM of bringing death to the mountains too, closing out the whole rant with, "ALL of you need to make amends"

This is like when a bully spits on you, calls you insults, and slaps and hits you where the teacher won't see, all while you keep trying to negotiate, but then YOU punch back and you both get equally punished because retaliation is just as bad as being attacked.

The book ends on the cats deciding it's time to bury the dead. Thus concludes The First Battle, and Clear Sky's Redemption Arc begins in Blazing Star. Because this means they nonsensically get rid of their main antagonist, they have to conjure up an Evil Foreigner to take his place.

"Unite or Die" isn't a message about actual peace and unity, that thing that the Non-Clear Sky cats have been hopelessly committed to, it's actually a message about how they're about to have a very convenient common enemy.

Y'know, someone who isn't "scared," just "greedy," one of those evil Godless Heathens, so we don't have to 'feel bad' about murdering him. One Eye time!

[voidfeather]

finished playing the coffin of andy and leyley and gonna throw out my theory that i'm sure other people have already thought of

i think that the parasite emergency is just a front and that the government is actually wanting to starve out and sell the blood and organs of "undesirable" people en masse, not sure why they're targetting AB-types specifically rather than say O-types considering AB blood is the universal receiver while O blood is the universal donator but it'll probs be answered when the full game comes out...whenever that is

as for why i think that they're several apartments worth of "undesirables" is mainly because all the people that have been shown so far are, as few as they are, aren't really the types that are "acceptable" in society:

ashley seems to have ASPD or at the very least something similar, has repeatedly been described as being someone who other people find annoying, and is highly codependent with her brother to the point of (technically just being an accessory to) murder and possibly even to the point of covert and/or overt incest

andrew has PTSD (that he seems? to hide relatively well) in addition to his codependence (even if it's not as prominent as ashley's, except in extreme circumstances such as when she's in danger...or when she mentions sleeping with another man lol) and while he's charming enough to have a gf that doesn't really matter when ashley harasses them

the cultist is...well, a cultist (it's clearly something he was interested in long before the quarantine judging by the front door sigils and the fact he has all the materials ready) also maybe it's just the desperation but the fact that he apparently has no problem blasting his loudass music may indicate traits that have lead to people casually wishing his death

the girl from 302, a hardcore hikkikomori and while her beauty may make her a bit more appealing that doesn't change the fact that she's functionally agoraphobic and doesn't want to provide for herself

ahley and andrew's parents are clearly pretty neglectful but the timing is just. a little too convenient y'know? like I'm pretty sure they knew this was happening, and the fact they were so ready to get a new apartment as well like we don't really know when in the timeline that happened but the fact that they're just so ready to move on like that is so suspicious

idk how the lady who got in an ambulance fits into all this though, there's just far too little information about what happened to her for me to say -- i don't think she's getting her organs harvested though, the ambulance wouldn't be in such a hurry if she was

now it is possible that the parasite problem is real and the infected apartment are just really unlucky or really neglected by the government, however, with the whole selling organs thing it just doesn't seem all that likely to me considering yknow nobody wants infected organs

a possibility is that the government is starving the apartment dwellers for the purpose of inducing starvation ketoacidosis which may kill the parasites somehow??? before they harvest the organs, not sure why the blood type would matter though if that were the case

now, since demons do exist in this world, it could (and most likely) be some other secret third thing but with all the information we have right now this is all i can really come up with

[lingshanhermit]

Lingshan Hermit: The Choice of a Ruler

On a frigid winter morning in 1636 AD, as the king of Joseon looked out from the fortress walls of Namhansanseong, he saw the endless snow-covered mountains stretching into the distance, the yellow tents of Manchu Emperor Hong Taiji atop the mountain peaks, and the tribal soldiers of the barbarians occupying the hills and valleys as far as the eye could see. As the sovereign of Joseon, he had been in refuge here for months. Within these fortress walls were just over ten thousand soldiers and common folk left. Food was dwindling away, people had begun slaughtering war horses to fend off starvation, and there was still no sign of the legendary royal army coming to their aid. The troops were already starving and freezing in the harsh winter, and a sense of hopelessness had settled upon the people in this bitter cold.

The Manchu army had marched on Joseon in 1636 to punish the Joseon dynasty for refusing to acknowledge Manchu legitimacy, and to force their submission by military might. For the Joseon king and his court, surrendering to these barbarians who had only just emerged from the Siberian forests would be unimaginable humiliation. Raised under Confucian teachings, wearing Ming dynasty robes and using Ming writing, Joseon saw itself as a great tributary state of the mighty Ming Empire. Yet the overwhelming military force arrayed against them confronted the Joseon leadership with an extreme choice - surrender or be killed. Endless debates ensued between those involved in the decision. One faction argued that righteousness was more important than life itself, and that the king should choose death before dishonor. The other contended that without life, righteousness was meaningless, so for the sake of preserving the nation, the king should submit to the barbarians. Those with modern educations might find such debates unbelievable, as they would choose life without hesitation, dismissing righteousness as intangible and abstract. But it is difficult for them to fully appreciate the weight these concepts carried for those raised under Confucianism. As you all know me, I am not one to be enslaved by modern notions - I have always believed modern thinking to be regressive. As I've said, I am an ancient man of today - I do not consider righteousness and integrity to be intangible things. On the contrary, I believe them to be quite important. However, if asked whether righteousness or life should be chosen in such dire circumstances, it is not straightforward to answer. Sometimes, righteousness is more important than life, while at other times, life takes priority over righteousness. It depends on whether you still have important work left to accomplish, and whether the impact of that work is significant enough for you to endure tremendous humiliation and responsibility in order to go on living. If you have sufficient cause and duty to survive, then you should do so. If not, then yes, righteousness takes priority, for reincarnation is real. In the film The Fortress, the final choice of Joseon was the humiliating path of survival. The Joseon king groveled before Manchu Emperor Hong Taiji, enduring tremendous shame in performing the ritual of three kneelings and nine prostrations.

Just a few years later, the Chinese also faced the same excruciating choice when Manchu troops defeated Li Zicheng in 1644, marched into Beijing, and brought an end to the last ethnic Han Chinese dynasty. The very next year after occupying the Forbidden City, they instituted the Queue Order, requiring all Han Chinese men to adopt Manchu hairstyles and dress. As expected, this decree enraged the entire Chinese populace, sparking countless acts of defiant resistance. Countless resistors were killed under the brutal repression that followed, and those who survived were left with no choice but to abandon a hairstyle tradition thousands of years old in order to survive. There are hardly any films depicting this profoundly important historical event.

In 1636, the Joseon king had no choice but to kowtow before the barbarian emperor to preserve himself and his people. His son was taken hostage to Shenjing, hundreds of thousands of his people were captured and sold into slavery, and he had to endure humiliation and learn how to live under the enemy's tyranny. Many great figures in human history have done the same, because they knew the nightmare would eventually pass, and that their survival meant something to the world. They knew who they were, why they were there, and what deeds they had yet to accomplish. They understood the significance of their work to the entire world, that these tasks had to be completed by them, so they chose to live on and bear it all.

In the pivotal Battle of Yamen in 1279, the Mongol army thoroughly destroyed the final stronghold of the Song dynasty, driving the hundreds of thousands of Song soldiers and civilians alike into the sea. The last Song emperor Zhao Bing drowned himself in the waters. According to historical records, a soldier surnamed Chen was fished from the sea after that major naval engagement. He later settled in Weiyang, Jiangsu province and lived over ninety years. He raised two daughters, the second of whom married a man named Zhu Shizhen. Their son Zhu Chongba became the founding emperor of the Ming dynasty, leading armies to drive the Mongols back to the northern steppes. Sometimes, survival is crucial, while at other times, righteousness takes priority. For the Song emperor to drown himself in that world-shocking naval battle was the right choice, just as it was also right for the soldier who survived not to then commit suicide. Each fulfilled his own purpose.

Written by Lingshan Hermit, May 4, 2022

灵山居士：国君的选择

[thefoxlady]

Some redesigns of Dr. Higgsbury and the Hunger Mime. I think they needed an update, I've even updated their backstories.

TW: Murder, Death, Insanity, Death by Starvation.

Dr. Higgsbury:

When Higgsbury moved in his new house, he was unsure if he would like it, but some science stuff won him over when he got to the attic. He got the house when he saw an ad on his way to college.

He suffered some dreams, or rather nightmares of a shadowy figure that looks like him. The shadow keeps showing him people who committed terrible crimes, all the while saying "These people are evil hearted... Disrespectful to anything that has a pulse."

"You know exactly how to get rid of them..."

Wilson begins to loose his mind the more he sees this shadow figure, both in his nightmares and in real life. He finally lost his mind, the shadow tell him to use science to get rid of the evil that plagues the earth. How? By performing surgeries, replacing the limbs with pig legs and having the victim's whole head covered by a pig's head. He would kidnap his victim after they he spiked their drink, he would then take them to his house, if someone were wondering why there's someone sleeping in the back of their car that he was driving, Wilson would say, "They had one too many to drink tonight, I'm going to take them to my house to sober up.". Wilson will then perform the surgery while they're awake, the next morning they would be found with their limbs replaced by a pig's and their being covered by a sewed on pig's head.

Hunger Mime:

Wes was mime who was down on his luck.

He was poor and hungry, he mimes to make money to pay for food. Despite all the bad luck, he saw that people can be good and could change with the right motivation. He helped a lot of people in Paris, the people, especially the children loved him... Who would want him dead?

One day he tried to retrieve and give a doll back to a little girl who accidentally dropped it from the window, he chased it to an alley, a woman and some men took him somewhere no one would see him again. He went missing that day, he was starving in a dirty, empty room with only a water dish. Wes tried to chew on bits of his shirt to numb his hunger, but it would always result in his stomach growling loudly and hurting him, he was suffering. He died of starvation and his body was found in a forest, people who knew him were shocked and saddened when the news of his death were made public. The people wanted to know who's responsible for his death and wanted them punished for their crimes, they got their answer in the most unexpected and disturbing way... The men and woman responsible were found dead with their abdomens cut opened with their stomachs ripped out, each of the victims had a message carved on their backs, it said "They Starved Me. -Wes". They confused and horrified, Wes was dead yet they were killed by him, How could this be?

A pastry chef who usually gives Wes food reported to the French police stating he had encountered Wes one night after closing, he said "I saw Wes, but he looked different... He was taller than any man, he had a sad look in his face, and I could've sworn I saw that he has sharp teeth and nails. He had this long tongue, he was constantly drooling, he didn't speak but he was making this croaking sound, I had leftover carrots on me and I gave them to this... Thing... After he ate them, he left. I was scared what he would've done to me if I didn't gave him those leftover carrots.". The people now believe Wes came back as a vengeful entity, they now call him the Hunger Mime and would carry food if they're in the forest he resides in or at night in the streets of Paris so they could be spared from being his next meal, if you don't have food on you or refuse to give him food, he'll rip out your stomach, eat your stomach, and leave you to die. Children and pregnant women are spared due to the fact he doesn't want to see a child suffer because of him and he doesn't want to kill something that isn't even born yet.

That's all I've got to share, I'm planning on releasing more Don't Starve: Urban Legends AU stuff. If the stories need more work, I'll try my best to make it work.

[garden-ghoul]

Happy Gushiwensday Monday! Or rather, miserable, miserable Gushiwensday Monday, because we’re back with more Wen Tianxiang. Some day I’d like to find a poem by him that’s not about his war PTSD but that day is not today. Presenting “Nan’an Army”!

we navigated the plum blossoms, south to north, the wind and rain soaking my uniform. come down from the ridge? look who I came with. return home? I couldn't return like this. the mountains and rivers endured unchanged; the city walls wouldn't always be theirs. but I could only resolve to starve myself to death. in my dream, I went to gather ferns...

original text and notes under the cut.

南安军

梅花南北路，风雨湿征衣。 出岭同谁出？归乡如此归！ 山河千古在，城郭一时非。 饿死真吾志，梦中行采薇。

I swear I thought this was going to be less depressing than our other WTX poem. This poem refers to the war between the Song and Yuan Dynasties in the 1270s, during which Wen Tianxiang recruited an army at Nan’an (in modern Fujian). He was captured in 1278 and offered a prestigious office in Yuan if he surrendered, but refused even after the fall of the Song Dynasty a year later. So that’s the kind of guy he is. This is a poem about being a prisoner of war and contemplating killing yourself by hunger strike---so to me it was very important to put it in past tense. He didn’t kill himself. He lived. Even if maybe he felt like he was violating his principles by doing so.

But don’t worry! He died for his principles anyway five years later when he refused Kublai Khan to his face, starting an uprising to rescue him!

the plum blossoms --- refers to a ridge on the border between modern Guangdong (south) and Jiangxi (north), which is heavily planted with plum blossoms. I’ve avoided putting this explicitly in my translation because the original text is cryptic as hell.

my uniform --- I’m not sure whether he was being transported with other prisoners, but I chose the singular to accentuate his hopelessness.

come down... return like this --- some great line structure here. 山河千古在 “leave ridge like who leave”; 归乡如此归 “return hometown like this return.” WTX did something similar in Crossing the Ocean Alone and it ruled and it still rules. It’s an oblique reference to the fact that he’s being escorted by his captors and not by his own soldiers; he’s ashamed of it.

the city walls wouldn’t always be theirs --- 城郭一时非 “city walls one time isn’t.” Delightfully confusing syntax; I got my translation from Gushiwen’s notes, and Laurence interpreted this very differently having not looked at them. I kind of read this as a comparison of the landscape to specifically the human part of a city---maybe the walls themselves are almost as enduring as the earth.

but I could only resolve... --- the original 饿死真吾志 “I truly aspire to starve to death” has a VERY different vibe, doesn’t it? I chose to word it like this to link it to the enduring nature of mountains, rivers, and even walls; WTX is only one man, helplessly frustrated by his failure.

I went to gather ferns --- according to Gushiwen, this is a reference to two high-ranked soldiers from the Shang Dynasty who were defeated and fled to the mountains as their own dynasty fell. If I understand the notes correctly, they had access to real food but chose to forage for wild ferns instead, and died. I’m not totally sure if this refers to death by starvation or death by poisoning; some ferns contain a cyanogen (ie produces cyanide inside your stomach) that has to be removed by blanching before you eat them. Eating the fiddleheads rather than the mature fern is supposed to mitigate this, and it’s a common thing to forage for, so together with “dying of starvation” it seems unlikely that they were trying to poison themselves. But I’m passionate about cyanogenic glycosides so I’m telling you anyway. Did you know that bamboo, cassava, and sorghum are also cyanogenic before processing?

[lancaster-vampire-boi]

Jaime would like to say he's lived too long to remember his human days. That it's been so long it doesn't matter. The truth is he remembers all too well, and that he drags his past around like an unwanted anchor.

He had been born in England, grew up the third son of a third son of the wealthy Lancaster family. He grew up just educated enough to read and write, to understand the Latin of his bible and by the time he should have been married off to die nameless in the pages of history the third crusade was kicking off. Meaning he went from useless little lord to literal canon fodder before he reached the age of fifteen.

It was by mere luck alone that the man in charge of their order was a good man. That he did his best to train the boys into soldiers that might survive the battles ahead. Jaime was shit at a lot of things, but he could carry a sword and he was smart enough in battles to keep his wits. Some called him a coward, when he refused to charge headfirst into the violence, but those were also the first of the dead he climbed over to live to see another day. All in all, the crusades were an utter shit show. Jaime remembers hating every bitter second. The way the sand scratched his skin, the way the sun burned and how he spent far too long praying for an end; by the blade or by god. He remembers wanting to go home.

Death would come in the form of a vampire. A desperate starving thing that was using the battles as a feeding ground. It was simply a matter of wrong time, wrong place. The vampire had dragged one of his dying comrades away and Jaime had stupidly followed, thinking was just another normal enemy. Only to be confronted by the likes of the supernatural. He attempted to flee, but the vampire caught his scent and laughed. Jaime recalls being bitten, thinking he was dying and hearing the vampire press a wrist to his mouth; blood pouring down his throat and then darkness. Jaime would later wake to nothing, having died and awaken in the same crumpled position against a wall. Alone. To this day, he has no real understanding for the vampire who made him. Or why they left him.

In the start, Jaime did not know fully what he was. Vampire, yes, demon maybe? He didn't know the rules and had to learn the hard way what they were. He ate only when he was to the point of starvation, and only from the fallen warriors -too far gone to be saved. He repeated this until the crusades edged off to an slow end. Thinking perhaps, foolishly he could go back like his comrades back to England. Back to the life, if a little bit of a monstrous than when he left. After all, he was still him. Just a bit of a...diet change.

Obviously, it was a mistake. As unchanged as his appearance was, he could not hide the new hunger or the fact that he could not enter a church. That he refused to leave his room until the sun went down. That while his siblings and cousins grew older, he did not.

It hurt to leave his family, to know that he had to before they learned to fear him.

He was lost after that, doing his best to forge himself a path in the darkness. A vampire, but one who was not driven by his hunger and most of all alone. The few that he found were either mad or delusional feral things that Jaime was disgusted by. Jaime didn't want to live in crypts or sewers, and no, he had no desire to chase humans like cattle. He could just as easily drink without killing, under much more delightful situations for both parties.

The vampire community didn't interest him, nor did the demon but as much as he wanted to be apart of the human one, he could never push across the divide. His lovers and friends kept dying, or ran off in fear or worse, asked to be turned.

Jaime only turned one lover and never again.

Now, he does what he wishes. Finding himself causes to fight in because there is nothing else for him to do. He was never a good man, but he finds himself a capable warrior.