#starting to become less of a joke. more of an actual possibility. damn.

[artphantom]

ok so qsmp updates did say gegg lost a life but im honestly hoping that he didnt UNLESS it's specifically because elquackity did it. (although i still wish he wont lose a life cuz. honestly rooting for gegg a little.)

why ? because i think the way gegg's deaths should be counted is: 1. gegg gets killed 2. someone who knows in canon that slime is gegg kills slime. (i believe elquackity and quackity have the same memories ?? please correct me if im wrong)

even though gegg and slime are kinda becoming seperate maybe ? (what with the whole "it's getting harder to turn to gegg and back" stuff) i think it'd be a cool way to count the gegg deaths.

[warping-realities]

Animal I Have Become

Alright, I promised I wouldn’t write any more. But this one’s short and I cranked it out in less than two hours. The inspiration is obvious for anyone who’s a fan of "Karate Kid"/"Cobra Kai," since I just finished the first part of the last season. And for those worried about my studies, don’t sweat it—I was on my work shift, which I never use to study because it seems to attract all kinds of chaos. Anyway! If any quick ideas pop up, I’ll post them, but no more long stories packed with plots for a while.

I only agreed to go back to the place of my humiliation for one reason: Mikey was my best friend throughout high school until he decided, right in our senior year, to join the karate team of the new P.E. assistant teacher. Then, like magic, the skinny kid with a sharp sense of humor who could discuss everything from experimental physics to pre-Columbian American history, the guy I knew so well, was replaced by this arrogant musclehead who struggled with math and was totally incapable of having a history discussion that didn’t revolve around bragging about how today badass America was, and whose idea of a joke involved talking about tits or letting out a stinky fart. Apparently, it was a courtesy of the insane amounts of protein he started chugging to maintain his suddenly beefed-up physique. How the hell was it possible to gain that much muscle in such a short time? Maybe steroids, but the one time I asked about that, I ended up stuck under his stinky armpit. And what was up with that new nickname? “Snake!” How pretentious was that? But apparently, everyone in the group had a “badass nickname.” Ah, the joys of the standard American jock… Still, I tried to hold on to some of our friendship; God, did I try.

I even agreed to join a couple of those damn team practices, knowing damn well I didn’t have the physique, the skills, and maybe most importantly, the real desire to be there. I ended up getting ridiculed by everyone, including my so-called best friend.

I should’ve never talked to him again after that week of “practices.” But, being the idiot I am, all it took was a poorly worded apology full of grammatical mistakes that my brain refuses to recreate:

“Sorry, bro, the sensei got pissed at the guys when he heard their jokes about the size of your… well, you know. He wants you to meet us in the locker room today so we can apologize the right way. If you don’t show up, he’s gonna make us skip training for the whole week. Come on, please, for our friendship!”

… and there I was in that locker room. I should’ve left those morons without practice, but I decided to be the good samaritan.

Walking into that crap hole, what a surprise! It was empty. The pungent stench of sweat filled the room and humidity on the walls made it feel like the locker room was actually a beast whose musk drips off its body after a vigorous workout. But that didn’t matter; apparently, either the coach didn’t give a damn about what happened, which I should’ve figured, since he was just an older version of the ogre crew he trained, or he didn’t even know what went down, and I was about to be the victim of another lame prank.

Thinking about the danger, I quickly turned to leave. Then I noticed… on the other side of the room, hanging on one of the lockers… had that been there before? A piece of red fabric… oh, of course. A red gi from the team; they even gave themselves a pretentious name…. The fight practice was happening right at that moment. It was hard to think about it. I said so much crap about the team on TikTok and Instagram, tarnishing the reputation of the strong and disciplined image they worked so hard to create outside those walls that they probably hated my guts now. All those arrogant alpha dogs were arrogant and obnoxious. What the hell was I thinking trying to fit in? Nerdy little dudes like me didn’t really belong there. Even the jokes about my dick; if I were one of them, I’d just throw a punch or come back with some barbaric, macho comeback and everything would be cool. But I wasn’t like that, and my frustration with all of it was proof of that.

I never really liked the Gi. That red color always seemed way too aggressive, and for some reason, it always looked oversized on me, with sleeves and pants that were way too long and baggy. I had to wrap the belt around me twice just to keep it from falling off my skinny frame. Apparently, it never crossed the sensei’s mind that a little guy like me would have the audacity to try to join his team. Thinking about it, it wasn’t that I didn’t like the Gi; I hated it. It represented everything I despised about that bunch of trolls and also my lost friendship.

I stepped back and slowly turned my head back to the locker with the gi. Did it belong to someone? normally they were used by any of the team's bodies, one size fits all, or almost, when I was still there... anyway... after training they went straight to the laundry before returning for the next training session. Not that any washing would really get rid of the complete animalistic musk that infested their fabric. So why would someone leave it here?

Not my fucking problem. Probably just a spare or something. I think, walking resolutely toward the door, and I crack it open slightly. I turn back. I guess there’s no one using it. That means someone’s gonna grab it soon. Something’s bugging me. But what is it? I get closer, the musk intensifying. That gi definitely isn’t new and hasn’t been washed recently. And what’s this? There’s a note along with it. I sit on the nearby bench to read.

“Sorry, bro, today’s practice was super important, and the sensei didn’t want to wait for you. But he left your gi here. Put it on and come train; this time it’ll be different, I promise. Trust me, for old times’ sake.”

Old times? Maybe… maybe I should give it a shot. God, what a weird thought. Why would I want to do that? But while I’m thinking about it, my feet are already moving me to stand up and head toward the locker, while my hands are grabbing my shirt and pulling it up. I should stop. I need to stop. I should leave now, but the shirt comes off and goes over my head, landing on the floor. My pants are unbuttoned, and soon they join the shirt. I really should stop. Why do I want this? It’d be better to stop, but soon I’m in my boxers holding the gi in front of me. First, I put one leg in... then the other... then the arms, and then the belt… why is it black? I wonder, confused… but then that consuming need fades away.

I look at myself. As always, it doesn’t fit. I look like a kid wearing his dad’s suit at some event. I sit back down on the bench. Alright, that strange urgency is satisfied. So now I can just take this damn thing off!

But I don’t want to, for some strange reason. I feel more comfortable than ever. It’s like that mismatched uniform was made for me. My delicate hands wander over the ill-fitting outfit, the long sleeves sliding down my shoulders. I try to adjust them back into place, but they stop midway as I start to feel the material against my skin. The feeling of power it gives me… the feeling of strength… was it really this good when I was practicing? No, definitely not; if it was, I wouldn’t have quit. Man, this feels amazing... I feel the weight of the gi on me, both real and metaphorical… the weight of what it represents… my hands roam over its wide shape… it’s not just a uniform… it’s an armor… a sacred cloak… this is so cool… I can hear them in the training room… too bad I can’t join them... I wish I could... and they asked... didn’t they? I shift a bit on the bench and let my arms fall to my sides. Weird, I didn’t seem that far from the ground before. I feel cozy; the sweat smell doesn’t bother me, the whole atmosphere feels familiar, even comforting, like coming home after a long day and sitting in your favorite chair. I feel dizzy, like I’m about to fall asleep...

My rational mind, or what’s left of it, doesn’t notice. But unconsciously, I do… my muscles are slowly expanding, my skinny body pushing against the bench while my hands gently massage my slightly protruding belly that’s slowly flattening, the little bit of fat there seeming to be sucked in with every circle my hand makes. My shoulders are also widening, getting broader, as I grunt happily, a tingling sensation creeping up my body.

Feeling that, my eyes suddenly open, a jolt waking me up a bit from that stupor. What the hell was that? I look at my belly, and it’s widening as I’m hit with shock. I’m getting ripped! My hands trace the outline of my abs as the little muscle blocks there grow and harden, turning into six distinct shapes. As I stare at that in fascination, the stupor hits me harder.

The rigid stones of my abs aren’t the only things getting harder. My arms and legs are swelling with new muscle, keeping pace with my ever-growing body. And, well... I gently pat my groin. It’s definitely there too… a solid extra four inches, and still soft… As my body keeps expanding, the sensation turns pleasurable, like scratching an itch that’s been bugging you for ages, so I let it wash over me. My mouth opens in a gasp, drool spilling out as I pant like a dog. For some reason, it’s easier to breathe like this. Maybe because my nose is breaking and reforming a few times without me even noticing? As the drool runs down my pecs, I bring my hand to them and feel them grow, making my hands look tiny in comparison to the two meat packages they become. I shake my hand a bit, sending the drool flying, and with each shake, I see it grow too, turning into a massive paw, perfect for smashing some unsuspecting fool. Looking at that seems… really good… and I laugh. And out of nowhere, the other hand starts growing too, while my feet expand like crazy. My size eight shoes will never fit those paws; what size are they now? 14? Or maybe 15? A good kick with those surfboards and you’re down for the count… cool… hehehe...

No, not cool, not cool at all! This damn outfit is doing something to me! I stand up and grab the gi by the sleeves at my shoulders, ready to rip it off, and then…. I fall back onto the bench, my eyes unfocused again as a sudden wave of pleasure hits me like a tsunami. Yeah, a torrent of testosterone floods my body as my jawline becomes prominent, my chin broadens, and little tufts of freshly trimmed hair cover my chest and armpits. My mouth opens again, drool spilling out as my neck thickens, and my Adam’s apple sticks out, while my forehead becomes more pronounced, with low brows creating a scowl that makes it look like I’m always ready to fight, and my hair gets shaved on the sides, completing the look of a total douchebag. I try to care, I try to fight... fight... good… fights is good... no… not fight like this... I start to lift my arm, now powerful and making the gi look slightly tight… my biceps must be huge… hehhe… then it drops again… I look at my altered reflection in the mirror and see someone who could easily roll with Samue… Snake and the other guys… who knows, maybe now it’ll end… maybe I’ll finally break free from this stupor and get out of here… But then the real nightmare begins, as a web of powerful veins snakes through the swollen muscles of my body, a myriad of intrusive thoughts starts to slowly shape my mind, no matter how hard I try to resist. They break through my defenses with such force that my illusions shatter quickly as I start to forget. Memories of long hours of studying slowly morph into party after party with my friends, working out with them, training with them, watching my body swell and grow; time spent on pop culture becomes time spent watching football, hours and hours perfecting my college resume turns into hours and hours of sweat and sacrifice perfecting my fighting technique to the point of perfection. Just like my friends. Just like the sensei taught us to be. And we owe it all to sensei. Especially since he’s gonna figure out a way to get me into college, get all of us, in every corner of the country, ensuring that his teachings are passed on. Just one of us in any student group or, better yet, a fraternity, and boom, a new crew of brothers ready to spread the word… ha… word… funny… as if we needed to talk… no… our way is the way of the fist!

Shit, I can’t believe I slept through practice! Sensei is gonna rip me a new one! I shouldn’t have hooked up with those hot girls from college with Snake last night… dude, I couldn’t miss that hookup… I’ll just have to take the sensei’s punishment like a man… and I AM THE MAN!”

I stand up and groan, my voice deeper, with a bit of a growl. I turn toward the door, bracing for sensei’s yelling… Eh, screw him. He’ll put on his show about my tardiness, and I’ll play my part as the remorseful kid, and everything will be fine. It’s not like I skipped out or, God forbid, quit the team; I can’t even imagine the things he’d do to a damn deserter. I stretch a bit, admire myself in the mirror… Mad Dawg, you’re so swole… damn… you big, hot son of a bitch!

And then I finally walk toward the training room to join my brother’s in arms. Today’s practice is gonna be awesome; I can feel it, but honestly, it always is; I was born for this.

[nebbyy]

Lester Papadopoulos/Apollo x reader - It's Over, isn't It?

A/N: okay so a few weeks ago I was listening to the song “It’s Over isn’t it” form the Steven Universe series and this scenario came to my mind, so I thought I’d just make it a fic! For this piece I didn’t see a point in assigning a gender to the reader, so we go with gender neutral all the way😎😎(neither your godly parent is specified since it doesn’t really add anything to the plot, so you can choose whichever you prefer)

PART TWO IS HERE

Warning: insecurity, jealousy, angst (WITH comfort tho), mentions of suggestive activities

Word count: 3209

You kinda hate yourself right now, and you hate yourself because you are so angry right now.

Well maybe angry is an exaggeration, but still, you’re really, really upset.

And you know you should be anything but upset right now. I mean, the love of your life finally has the chance to go back to his home in the Olympus, regain his honor and his status as a god. Those were all good things that you should be ecstatic about, right?

Well, wrong.

Just thinking of it made you feel like you could throw up at any moment. Thinking about the fact that Apollo. Because, what will be of Lester, your Lester?

Your whole relationship had started because he wasn’t Apollo. He wasn’t the tall, tan, handsome and all mighty God of the Sun; he was just a normal teen, whose only things that made him stick out were his acne, his clumsiness and a somewhat nice voice. His mortal condition didn’t even give him a single chance to act in his usual exaggerated, narcissistic self. He had to start off from the start, build a personality that wasn’t based on his godly qualities, but on something more real.

And in that situation he found himself in, with his new eyes he had seen you, and you truly seemed like a deity to him. 

How could you be anything less to the rest of the world, he thought. You were your godly parent’s greatest hero, you were liked and admired by most campers both because of your victories and your looks. And he spent oh so many nights fantasizing about taking you back with him in Olympus, giving you the godly status that should be rightfully yours. But hell, with the body he’d found himself in he’d barely the courage to come up to you to talk.

He told you so many times how absolutely surprised he was when he found out that you actually liked him back, even if he looked like any 17 year old loser, his actual words. And you remembered too, how his voice was so shaky as he tried to muster up a coherent sentence, how his cheeks shone a bright red, how his hands were trembling as you took them into yours and his palms sweating. But in your mind, that was more beautiful than any sonnet, any haiku, any poem, any grandiose, Apollo-like gesture. Because that was Lester, not Apollo; and in your eyes, Lester’s awkwardness was what made him stand out, because it was purely genuine.

Now ever so often you wonder, if he used to feel like you’re feeling right now, like you’re no match to the person you love. You look at your reflection in the mirror of the bathroom, and the mean joke that played your mind made you highlight all the flaws you could spot in yourself. All things that a god could never accept in their lover. You feel so wrong, so flawed that you just wish you could turn yourself into mud and reform your appearance completely.

Gods, you’re being ridiculous right now, you think, you just want to slap yourself in the face and yell at your reflection to get a grip goddamnit! You’re one of the greatest heroes of your time, you survived two wars, you can’t possibly draw the line at a failed relationship with a god. 

At one point someone might think: but why are you so opposed to the idea that your boyfriend is finally becoming a god once again? How ungrateful can you be??

But the point is, you know damn well that the whole point of the creation of Lester was forcing Apollo into a form that would’ve been the total opposite of who he is.

Because Apollo is naturally flirty and superficial, he loves to love and be loved, and he pursues anything and everything that he finds beautiful. But he got bored easily of his love conquers, hence why he has so many kids. So in your mind, it was only natural that as soon as he was back to normality, he’d grow tired of you and move to the next mortal that piqued his interest, maybe even leaving you a single parent to a new demigod.

That’s why you couldn’t stop that nagging feeling deep into your core, as you walked out of your cabin, hearing all the girls already speculating about how beautiful, handsome, shiny and dashing Apollo will be once he goes back to his form. “And who knows, maybe he’ll set his eyes on some of the friends he made in here” squealed a girl, from which cabin you did not know nor care. Her friend replied: “Yeah I mean, ain’t no way he’s gonna keep staying with the same partner forever. I mean, come on, he’s Apollo!” They both giggled like school girls, then kept gossiping about something else, but you did not care enough to keep eavesdropping their whole conversation.

You really hated yourself for being like this right now.

Of course, you know that those two girls meant no harm, it wasn’t their fault if they knew just as much as you did about Apollo’s tendencies. And about that you’re already came to terms with, but there’s something else you hate yourself for…

You stopped reaching out to him. Or even worse, you even started to avoid him. 

Not also him, but your friends and siblings as well. You closed yourself off of everyone else in your life, opting to spend your free days in Camp by yourself, whether it is in your cabin, sparring or all alone in your favorite spot in the forest.

Which is exactly where you’re directed to right now, as you put your headphones in your ears, wasting no time to press play and then abuse the volume up button to muffle any sound from the outside. You walk past the two girls, past another group of guys that were training with one another, and past your friends too, who you didn’t noticed as they were calling and waving at you to join them for a quick snack, leaving them rather confused and preoccupied as it seemed that you were stuck in a trance, locked out in another dimension of your own.

You didn’t even see Lester excusing himself from the group to subtly start following you wherever you were going.

It’s a quiet place, the one in the forest, protected by a thick layer of trees and bushes that makes it hard to reach it; but it’s worth all the climbing and scratches for the beautiful sight of a clear waterfall that fell right into a circular body of water, surrounded  by a rather big field of moss, so soft and fresh to lay on during the hot summer nights.

And so you did, letting yourself fall on that natural mattress, then closing your eyes to feel the light breeze on your exposed skin, and let the words of the song that’s blasting at full volume at the moment fill your ears, although you can barely focus on what they’re saying

It really seems unfair, all of this. That you thought you had fallen in love not with a god, but with a boy. Somehow forgetting that boy and god mixed in Lester, two sides of the same coin.

And maybe he forgot too, because every time the two of you were together, he suddenly couldn’t bring himself to think of the responsibilities that were waiting for him. With you, he forgot about his lost and very much missed abs and tan, he forgot about his chariot and his comfortable place in Olympus. Hell, you even made him forget about all his old lovers. It was really only you in his eyes, just as he was in yours. If only he’d ever told you all of this though…

Your mind keeps swirling in a million thoughts, until it fixates on one memory in particular.

You and him, alone on that very same spot in the forest. In a similar situation as you were now, too, with your crappy phone playing music softly in the background, as the the two of you laid together, one next to the other. You turn around to look at him briefly, only to find him already looking at you. “What, do I have something on my face or..” he just shake his head with the most lovestruck eyes you’d ever seen, batting his eyes slowly before looking at you once again, “I just really want to kiss you right now”.

Your eyes widen. His eyes widen. Did he really just say THAT?

Neither of you were sure how or why, thinking back to it, you wonder if it was his godly charm poking at the back of his head. But that didn’t matter at the time, the future in which he came back to his godly state seemed so far from you, it wasn’t even an option in your head.

Nevertheless, after the initial shock from his words, you silently answered him with a slow, almost numbed movement of the head, nodding slightly, almost scared that if you moved to fast you would’ve whisked him away, or that he could’ve changed his mind already.

But that nod was all that he needed before crashing his lips against yours, one of his hands flying to grab the side of your head, while the other stayed put on its place against the ground to keep him from falling on top of you.

The kiss was an absolute mess: teeth clashing, nose bumping against each other,... but it was perfect that way to you. You broke away from each other for a brief moment to catch your breaths, and you just look into each other’s eyes. With chests heaving, breaths mixing, you both started laughing, if only for a moment, a laugh of disbelief at what had just happened.

But that laugh didn’t last long before he moved his head closer once again, this time more slowly, more confidently. The kiss was in fact much less messy, your lips found their place against each other, the panic from before had morphed into pure butterflies in your stomach and fireworks in your eyes.

After a minute at most, you broke apart once again, but only for Lester to reposition himself on top of you in a more comfortable position. Your bodies closer than ever, you could feel everything of him….

What happened after still makes your cheeks flush red at the mere thought, but it also causes a frown to form on your face. Those times, when it was just the two of you are over. Maybe it was just a time of crisis that brought you two together, the shock from a morta perspective might have caused him to cling onto the closes person he could find. You can’t help but imagine Leste- Apollo in that moment, laying in the clouds of Olympus in a much similar scenario, maybe with a beautiful nymph or a smaller deity, or a mortal he laid his eyes on while he was on this earth-

“There you are! I should’ve known that if you’re not around you’re definitely in here.” If it were a normal, mortal voice, you wouldn’t have been able to hear it over the deafening high volume of the music blasting in you ears. But it wasn’t a mortal voice.

It was loud, it was melodic, it resonated in the air like the echo of the most beautiful of songs,…

You wouldn’t even need to turn around to know that that voice came from no other than Apollo. That’s right, he probably came back to his true form already. You can’t even imagine what a scene that would’ve been, to see the handsomely perfect god walking around Camp Half Blood, how many boys and girls had probably followed him around drooling over the sight of him. 

You wish you could just stay put, coldly dismiss him and let him go for what probably is the rest of your life and his eternity. But, curiosity gets the best of you, and you can’t help but turn around tentatively, eager to see what your boyfriend really looks like.

Your mouth quite literally hits the floor at the sight. Don’t get me wrong, you’ve always found Lester really attractive, but this.

This was something beyond the concept of handsome or beautiful.

This, him, was beyond what humans can perceive and comprehend.

Yes, you knew that his skin was tanned, but as he stood in front of you it seemed as if his body was made of bronze.

And yes, you also knew that his hair was blonde, but that didn’t make them justice. They flew, like rays of sun through a clouded sky.

Of his eyes you knew nothing about, but you were pretty sure at this point that no description could really depict just how deep, bright, captivating, alluring, even, they really were.

Your mouth quite literally hit the floor at the sight. Don’t get me wrong, you’ve always found Lester really attractive, but this.

This was something beyond the concept of handsome or beautiful.

This, him, was beyond what humans can perceive and comprehend.

Yes, you knew that his skin was tanned, but as he stood in front of you it seemed as if his body was made of bronze.

And yes, you also knew that his hair was blonde, but that didn’t make them justice. They flew, like rays of sun through a clouded sky.

Of his eyes you knew nothing about, but you were pretty sure at this point that no description could really depict just how deep, bright, captivating, alluring, even, they really were.

Your throat felt tight, your mouth dry, and your whole body gives you this tingly sensation. With all of your strength, you took a deep breath to try and calm yourself down, before mustering all of your strength to speak without a pathetic shaky voice. “I thought you were going back as soon as you got your body back.“

“Ain’t no way that I wasn’t coming to kiss my beautiful partner goodbye.” He grinned as he swiftly took a seat right by your side, propping himself on his elbow, his eyes never once leaving yours. You swore his smile was intoxicating, you’d say contagious even if the thought that this might’ve been your last moments together didn’t fill your mind with sorrow.

You wanted to protect yourself from this, detach your mind and heart from him before he does it first, leaving you with an aching heart and moving on with his eternal life.

You felt a hand come up to your cheek, holding it softly as the sweetest melody came from his lips, “I’m gonna miss you madly once I’m back there, you know?” At that, you can’t help the deep anger that fills you from inside, a feeling that expresses through icy, stinging words, as you turned your head away from his touch, “I’m sure you’ll move on in no time.”

He frowned. That wasn’t the reaction he expected from you at all, but he didn’t really take it personally, it was so obvious that there was something troubling you. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…” your voice is louder, a mixture of frustration and anger. But also so much sadness, that can be felt by just how strained the sound that came from your throat is, almost as if you were fighting back tears. You swallow hard, trying to recollect yourself, “I mean that you are a God, I am just a mortal. One of many. I’ve got nothing special to be remembered for, to be remembered by you for the rest of eternity. And Im okay with it, really. Our destinies were never meant to combine, I was just another one of your lovers.” As you spoke those last words you couldn’t help but let the tears flow from your eyes, those who always looked at Lester with a mix of love and mischief, now only filled with a never ending sadness.

Slowly, as to avoid scaring you off, the renewed god took your wet face in his warm hands, pulling you closer and wiping your tears off at the same time. Gently, he spoke: “My love, you couldn’t have said anything more wrong. You are special to me, and I could never forget you. In thousands of years that I’ve existed, no one had ever treated like you did, like I wasn’t a god. Sure, it was temporary and you knew I could’ve incinerated you as soon as I got back to… this.” He looked down, gesturing at his body, a sight for sore eyes that could’ve really made you unfocus on anything were you not so taken by your talk with Apollo at the moment. “But that didn’t stop you from treating me like we were equal. And I hated it, at first. I thought it would be part of my punishment. But as time passed, I realized that being your equal was the highest of honors I could ever get. You’re… you’re crazy strong, incredibly smart, unbelievably beautiful, way too kind for your own good, especially with those brats of the kids in this Camp.”

You giggled at his words, a consistent contrast with your tearful eyes and quiet sobs, “Some of those brats are your children too, genius.” “Well then it must run in the family.” You laughed again while shaking your head, but only for a moment before returning your full attention on the boy in front of you. He took the sign to continue.

“What I’m trying to say is, I don’t think I could ever be able to let you go. Over all the lovers I had through the years, which I’m sure you know are many, you’re the only one that saw me and treated me with true love and care. Not with fearful devotion, never fearing what I was capable of. I only ever saw this kind of love in Sally Jackson, and I mocked Poseidon for letting a mortal like many treat him so casually. But now, now I get it, and to be honest I can’t help but think that you’d deserve to be called a deity far more than many others who already are. Maybe even more than me. So I refuse to ever let go of this blessing that fate has given me. And if in order to do so I have to take your soul and put it on the sky above, to rest as a star forever by my side, so be it. But trust me you’re not getting rid of me so easily.”

You crumbled like a sand castle at his words, that he spoke with the very same tone, on the very same spot when you still called him Lester, and you promised to stick by each other’s side for the time you had left, only a few months before this whole encounter. You let your head fall into his broad chest, sobbing softly as you desperately clung to him. Your tears weren’t of sadness anymore, but of relief, for you had just been given the confirmation that your lover was still yours.You spent the rest of the night there, cuddling as close to eachother as possible as you rested in peace. 

The morning after, at dawn, when he had to officially go back to his daily duties, he begrudgingly got up from his place in your arms, placing butterfly kisses on your arms and neck, careful not to wake you. He left a little not right next to you, one that read: 

“I had to go, didn’t want to wake your pretty face this early in the morning.  Meet me here at dusk tomorrow, Forever yours,  A.”

It made you smile, seeing that note as soon as you opened your eyes, almost made you forget the lack of your boyfriend next to you,… and the yelling of your friends and siblings calling for your name in the distance.

You wasted no time walking towards those voices, and when they asked you just where the hell have you been all night, you just smiled and brushed it off, but everyone noticed how your usual bright self had mysteriously came back after days of brooding.

Hours later, you were calmly eating dinner with the other campers, laughing and talking and eating seemingly decent food. You were totally clueless as to where exactly Apollo was, but you guessed he was on his chariot, on his way to let the sun set and go to your secluded spot. But little did you know, he was in neither of those places. He was actually walking up to Zeus’ throne, tall and proud as he respectfully bowed to his father. “Apollo, I see it took you no time to get used to your old life once more. I trust you have learned your lesson.”

“Indeed, father. And I came here to thank you for it all. It was… better than I expected.” Zeus lifted a brow suspiciously, eyeing his son as if trying to make out what’s in his mind just by his appearance. “Mmh I hardly believe that you only came here to thank me for your punishment.” “Heh, you’re not wrong, father. I came here to make a request.”

“Depends. What is it that you desire?”

“How do you make a demigod immortal?”

[foodtruckery]

(Abo anon) your ideas are making me FERAL I'm so obsessed with how you characterize the brothers and god poor stan has been THROUGH it. But oh?? My gosh??? The imagery of stan working himself through his heat in the basement, fantasizing about stanford YOOOO I'm just imagining him trying to basically fist himself as a makeshift knot and imagining if his hand had just one more finger- and then losing himself a little bit at the thought (which he will then bury deep deep down in the "do not touch" box of his mind)

I wonder if ford questioned what could have caused the damage to his first journal lmfao or if he noticed it at all (I'm sure if stan ever tells him about it hed blue screen over the mental image)

And ofc stan would absolutely try to brush the whole event aside even if the smart thing to do is just stay off supressents (I'm glad you brought up his age because I WAS wondering if him being older would actually affect his likelihood of having heats) stan is gonna crush this all down under gravity falls new fav phrase "never mind all that"

Until ford realizes what stans planning and throws a fit I assume lol bro probably tries to play it off like hes worried for stans health but in reality hes just does NOT want to give up his deepest fantasy come to life

Which reminds me (I would apologize for yapping but I'm just meeting your energy here lmao) the idea of ford putting stan in his place of the hierarchy when he comes back through the portal? I keep thinking about the "what if" of that. Like. Would stans suppressants fail or would he just have to play along and pretend hes an alpha getting bitched? If it's the former I imagine ford (because as smart as he is, hes still an idiot) would somehow assume he MADE stan into an omega right there and then lmfao before stan corrects him ofc

I feel like I should start signing these off with something so I dont have to keep putting abo anon at the top lmfao

hahahaha! by all means, if you wanna have a sign off or an emoji or something, i'm all for it! especially considering at this point you've basically become my primary co-conspirator for this shit -- you know that right??

because, see, YOU GET IT. the way i yelled at the 'trying to fist himself to emulate ford's knot' comment like fuck yeah buddy, absolutely. i like to think that once he had his head on straight again, stan tried really hard to clean the journal up as much as possible, but there's not a ton to do for where it stained, or where pages got, ahem, wet and then dried out of shape. but if he calls it water stains most people aren't gonna look twice (most people will never even SEE this damn book), and honestly he'd be a liiiiittle bit relieved that it gets torched.

but he does probably slip up or get comfortable enough later on, when things are out in the open and a little more relaxed, where he makes a joke about it. spills a little water or coffee or something on whatever new journal ford is maintaining of their seafaring adventures, and laughing it off as "hey, not the worst thing i've ever gotten on one of these things, quit griping, would ya?" and ford's like "what is THAT supposed to mean?" and yeah, absolutely fucking bluescreens when he eventually gets the story out of stan because first of all, how did that even work and second of all, the idea of carrying around his journal knowing it's stained with slick he got out of stan? my mans is a mess.

and yes! i was thinking that the reason stan is still having heats at all at this age is largely due to how badly he fucked over his own cycles for most of his life and then just going cold turkey off all of them cause eh! he doesn't need that shit anymore. like it probably wouldn't actually be that big of a deal if it was just suppressants - lots of people take those! - or just beta or alpha pheremones. but going back and forth between all of them, getting a lot of those drugs from less-than-reputable sources to keep the secret safe, mixing shit he shouldn't have or taking enough expired stuff? frankly he should be less concerned with still getting heats and more concerned with checking his fucking liver or something.

and yeah, the easiest way to deal is definitly just to grab more drugs and nip this shit in the bud the way that's always worked. but ford is Not About That at all. catch his ass upending pills into the ocean if that's what it takes. and of course it's for stan's health, it's clearly not good for him to be on these drugs, and also what is there to worry about if it happens again? ford isn't going anywhere, he can help if stan needs him to, as many times as he needs him to. and stan is the one who said he didn't care about presenting as an omega nowadays, right? why upend all that over something so silly?

(and you know damn well at this point that we're just yappers, keep it coming) cause like I WAS THINKING ABOUT THIS TOO. about if they had gotten into it when ford came back through the portal. like other than some posturing and shit (okay like a LOT of posturing when it comes to some jackasess, cue bud for example), stan probably hasn't been legitimately threatened by an alpha in ages. and back when that did happen more regularly, stan is used to punching above his weight class, and probably hasn't been on the "bitch" end of a bitching in a long fucking time. probably hasn't even been on the receiving end of regular sex in a hot minute, as much for general preference as to keep up appearances.

but even when he has dealt with prick alphas trying to make a point since settling into gravity falls, they definitely weren't as worked up and aggressive as ford is after coming through that portal. and it's absolutely never happeend in the room where he has, in fact, gone into heat at least once. or with, y'know, ford himself. so yeah, it's absolutely possible that it's a perfect storm for triggering a heat. or, if not triggering a full on heat, it may trigger more biological bullshit; producing more slick than he has outside of a heat since he was in his damn 20's. and ford would ABSOLUTELY ASSUME he had done that -- which YEAH okay technically he did, but not because he has a magical dick, ford you moron.

it might actually kill stan to let ford think that bullshit if it means getting to keep up appearanaces for a little longer.

[mariasabanahabanabana]

Were f*cked

Pairing: Joel Miller x Tess Servopoulos x Ellie William x reader

Joel Miller x Dughther!reader

Sumarry: in an oversight on both sides, both you (Y/N) and Ellie get arrested, so a not-so-happy Joel has to go pick them up…

A/N: First, it wasn't until just a few months ago that I became interested in the plot of TLOU, so I'm sorry if there are inconsistencies. And secondly, my first language isn't English, so, you know it…

Since you and Ellie met you had become inseparable, maybe not at first due to Ellie's abrupt manner and sarcasm towards your father, Joel, but as the days went by.

The bond that existed between you was not only because you shared a similar pain of the goddamn apocalypse, but also because of your fear of loneliness and of course the duty that Joel had to do.

That's why since that day when Marlene introduced them all to each other, the two of them started to become an inseparable duo, but mostly chaotic for Joel's little patience and age. Although deep down, Joel was happy to finally see you finally spending time with someone close to your own age.

Anyway, time went by and what started as a nice friendship ended in something more intimate, a relationship, a couple that only made the two of you less inseparable, if that was even possible.

Although both of you used to have your nuances, the roles in your teenage romance were set, with you being the conscious and cautious part while Ellie's was somehow unconscious and impulsive, however, that didn't exempt you from getting into trouble, just like now.

Both knew the rules, both knew they had to be home by 6:00, in fact there were signs on every possible surface of the streets indicating the time limit for leaving the house. So, if they knew that, what got them arrested? Simple, Ellie wanted to spend more time with you before your night shift.

Until a few moments ago, you had a watch with you, which was confiscated by the FEDRA guards, so you couldn't know how long you had been locked up and sitting on the cold, dirty floor of the cell.

Ellie: "Damn, I'm fucking freezing to death…." Ellie said as she hugged herself and rubbed her arms with her hands in the hope that it would give her some warmth.

(Y/N): "Here, take my jacket…" you placed your father's warm, thick, heavy jacket that you now used to wear on her shoulders.

When the two were together it was impossible to shut the two of 'em up, which on more than one occasion led Joel to curse both inwardly and outwardly, so the silences that now intervened were a sign that you were really too scared to even tell, hear, or laugh at one of Ellie's many lame-but-good jokes.

Ellie: "So what's next?"

(Y/N): "we can only await… "

Ellie: "To who? or what?"

By not answering her question and averting your gaze from hers, Ellie assumed the worst.

Ellie: "(Y/N)? To whom or what?" Ellie, seeing you still not answering or looking at her knew immediately what was going on. "You called Joel, didn't you?

(Y/N): "Are you serious? I haven't lived that long to die at dad's hands."

Ellie: " Good, for a moment I thought that you…"

(Y/N): Without letting her finish, you spoke abruptly, "i Call Tess…"

Ellie: facepalm

(Y/N): Sorry

Ellie: No, don't worry … Sooner or later he'd find out, besides, he's your father and well, there wasn't much choice in who to call.

...

(Y/N): "We're fucked” whether it was the fear of Joel's reaction, what the FEDRA agents would do with you or the cold, your words came out without a specific tone, so it was hard for Ellie to tell if you were affirming or asking her, it wasn't until you spoke again that she knew you were actually asking her a question. "Right?"

Ellie: really, really, fucked.." 'Ellie, seeing the fear on your face, took your hand and gave it a light squeeze. "But together on this."

With resignation and a slight calmness from having her by your side and backing you up, you rested your head on her shoulder.

[shanesbluechicken]

Oooh how about Shane with a Vampire SO?

The farmer is a vampire (Shane)

I LOVE VAMPIRES OMG THIS WAS SM FUN

Someone teach me how to write short hesdcanons, because they always turn out to be wayyy too long :'D

TW: heavy language, mentions of alcohol, mentions of blood

Gender: neutral

Shane's been making vampire jokes since day one without even know you're actually one. Everytime he makes them you're practically getting a heart attack since you don't really want the town members to know. The possibility of being chased down by torches was not on your agenda.

But come on! There is no easy way to make it not obvious.

You won the egg hunt just to get that straw hat, because it shields your face completely.

Not to mention that even on cloudy days you seem to try to protect your skin. Some residents asked if you're maybe allergic to the sunlight and you just went with that. Marnie that sweet woman took the liberty upon herself and offered to ask Harvey for help, but you quickly shut that idea down saying that because of your past you don't want to make a big deal out of it.

Shane though. Oof.

"What are you? A fucking vampire?"

You freeze, unsure on what to answer, but soon enough you notice that he's just meaning it as a joke or a way to provoke you.

As you two become friends, he one day decides to bring some pizza over. You've been isolating yourself the last couple of days and he is a bit worried. Knowing you you're probably fully invested in work and your farm.

But when he arrives no one is outside on the fields and your front door is slightly open. He hears glass breaking inside so naturally he rushes in like a whole SWAT team with nothing but a frozen pizza as a weapon. He is fully intending on blinding potential enemies with the salami pieces.

"Shane?"

"What the FUCK is going on? Are you hurt?"

What he thought might be an intruder was actually just you being clumsy, but he does notice how you're holding your arm with a painful look on your face. Good luck getting him off your back now.

Your sleeve got ripped apart while building a fence and the light burned your skin, but you tell Shane that it's from starting the fire place. Everything indicates that you haven't even touched the fire place and it's a hot day anyways. You got him suspicious here, but he doesn't say anything. There must be a reason why you'd lie and he'd be damned if he doesn't find out.

Usually he couldn't care less even if someone comes up with such a bad lie. He doesn't have the energy to play detective, but with you it's different. You're one of the very few people who showed him kindness no matter how shitty he behaved and if you're having issues then he wants to help you out.

The next week he sees you stumbling through town and barely holding onto the wall of the bridge. At some point it seems like you're about to fall into the river any second and he runs over to hold you up. The fact that he's running late to his shift is long forgotten.

"I'm bringing you home."

"No, Shane, I promise I'm fine. I just feel a bit light headed."

"Bullshit."

He's way stronger than he looks and while he's carrying you back you to Harvey's clinic he realizes how dead you look. More dead than usually of course.

The closer he gets you to the clinic though the more you try to get out of his grip.

"Stop it, you need a fucking doctor."

"No, please."

Shane stops dead in his tracks upon hearing how desperate you sound. He's never heard you beg like this and his stomach is practically turning upside down from all the concern.

"Carry me home and I will explain everything to you. I'm done with lying and hiding."

You're hallucinating. That must be it. But something about your tone and your pleading eyes that he barely makes out behind those dark sun glasses make him obey to your wish.

As he lays you down into your bed he gets you a glass of cold water, but you almost smack it out of his hands, pointing towards the fridge. Confused, he looks inside, but can't see anything besides the usual vegetables and some left overs. Then, behind all these items, he spots something dark. Something red.

In the next moment you're next to him, grabbing that red liquid and ripping the package open like he usually does with booze when he's going through a particularly nasty time.

"This better be strawberry juice."

Deep down he knows it's not and he isn't sure what he feels watching you chug that entire bag in one go. With anyone else he'd most likely be disgusted or mortified, but the feelings he has for you, ones that he can't quite describe yet, are way too deep to feel anything negative towards you. His mind is still occupied with images of you nearly falling off the bridge and not being able to stand on your own two feet.

But you sure got some explaining to do and you promised to tell him everything after all. There's no way to get yourself out of this mess. You're scared of Shane's reaction. You don't want to ruin whatever you guys have going on, but what you don't know is how deep that bond between you goes. You have no idea that Shane reached a point where he would go through fire for you, but in your defense he's not the type to really show that.

He takes the information pretty well and with humor too. Internally he's screaming a bit though, because OMG HE WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG?!

"Are you telling me that...this is the skin of a killer?"

"Shane, stop."

"How long have you been 17?"

"I'm not 17 and stop with the Twilight references."

"Can you read my mind?"

"THIS IS SERIOUS-"

"So you have visions?"

You're not even sure if you wanna question his oddly deep knowledge of those movies.

You explain to him that most vampires nowadays live off of blood donations and the people donating know where it goes to. The issue with you now is that it's difficult getting these donations since Pelican Town is quite isolated from the cities and you can't ask Harvey to receive them for you, because he doesn't know that vampires even exist.

You've been holding back with your drinking, but it's affecting your health badly which is the reason why you almost fucking died there at the bridge.

Without a second thought Shane offers you to give you his blood, BUT there is a problem with that as well. Considering the amount of alcohol in his system his blood would make you even sicker than no blood at all.

Now he has the right motivation to stop drinking! And it works!

You drink it directly from his wrist though, because you don't really have the right equipment for taking it differently.

Shane has to hide the bite marks otherwise Marnie thinks he's gotten into something worse than booze.

He's a ride or die, okay. He backs up every made up story of yours to not make anyone in town suspicious.

You have to expect lots of teasing from his side as well and I'm not only talking about twilight references.

"What happens if I throw garlic at you?"

"Fuck around and find out, bitch. I suggest that you don't even start fucking around."

You could serve him some vegetable he doesn't like and he would yell "THE POWER OF YOBA COMPELLS YOU"

Absolutely adores your fangs. Sometimes they're super fucking adorable when you shoot him a bright smile and other times he finds them so hot that his knees turn into pudding.

Don't get me started on the fact that you can crush rocks with your bare hands.

Doesn't know if he should be very scared or very in love.

Masterlist

[thegeminisage]

whoops, i almost forgot about the star trek update. tuesday we watched tng's "firstborn" and "bloodlines" and last night we watched ds9's "the wire" (honorific)

firstborn (tng):

i was actually bracing for this one to suck ass bc everyone says worf is a bad dad. and i dont think he is!!! like, it doesn't come as easily to him as it does to sisko, and he sometimes forgets to be gentle or kind with alexander because he's so laser focused on how things SHOULD be he forgets to the importance of taking others' feelings into account, but that's how he is ALL THE TIME with EVERYONE not just his kid. considering the circumstances i'd say he's doing well

before we get started, GREAT cameo from the duras sisters. i was initially really annoyed with their tit windows but im becoming rather fond

i really liked "the family protector guy "k'mter" at first because he said all the right things to alexander...like, it's scary not being able to defend yourself, etc. then he also was a dick to alexander and i was really exasperated...but then he IS alexander so that totally fixes it. he's angry with himself and conflicted and just wants a HUG FROM HIS DAD and that FIXED it!!! like when he said "nobody will look at you and see a human you are alone on this ship" initially it felt like racism but it being like, not quite self-loathing but just bitter experience...that's actually so clever

this is the only episode where they brought up alexander's mom kind of hating ""klingon stuff"" and how that could possibly have negatively impacted him and it only got two lines of dialogue but still. i think it's really damning that she hated her own heritage and also brought her kid up to hate it and now he's sort of out here...pretending to be human, almost, to the point where he doesn't want to participate in hsi own culture or even bond with his own father (a klingon). like it sucks so bad for him

i was afraid that the plot twist would be "k'mter talks alexander into wanting to be a warrior after all just when worf realizes he doesn't have to be" which would have been sad but a real "oh shit" of an ending. mixed feelings about them not doing that but i understand why they wanted to properly wrap things up for s7

i almost forgot but rare w for picard for bending the rules a little bit to give worf time to go to the klingon festival with his kid. credit where it is due

bloodlines (tng):

i have never been so BITTERLY DISAPPOINTED.......................

they gave. picard. an affair baby.

THEY GAVE HIM AN AFFAIR BABY!

what have i been saying since farpoint! he has an affair baby! AND THEY GAVE HIM ONE

AND THEN TOOK IT AWAY

what was the POINT OF THE EPISODE

if that's not his fucking affair child

pussy ass little FUCKS couldnt commit to changes...

i can't even remember what else happened in this episode i was so disappointed about this plot twist

oh yeah actually i do remember picard made a bald joke which i THINK was the only time he's done that in seven seasons? i think the only time ANYONE'S done it? please correct me if i am wrong but i was so shocked it got a big laugh out of me. also a rare w for picard. if he made bald jokes more often i'd hate him less maybe

oh yeah i'm coming back to add this later but it was really hilarious that picard was so torn up over his not-son being a little criminal. his horrific unforgivable spelunking crimes. so true.

the wire (ds9)

ooohhhhhhhhhhhh my god. oh my GOD. let's fucking...get into it

i rly thot garak was just a guy but not only is he a former assassin he's a current junkie. A JUNKIE! he's just like me fr

also, he can act? like that scene where he was withdrawing and saying horrible shit to julian......i was on the edge of my seat.

i love that he gave us 3 different stories about how he got kicked out. i'm gonna be honest, i looked it up, and apparently we never find out the truth? that is a bold fucking move. a daring choice. we, like julian, will never have any certainty. like, sure, i WANT to believe he released some kids from being tortured, but it's also equally as likely that he killed civilians or did a number of other horrible things

like, the fact that he can lie about it even while under significant distress.........king. like you could say oh that's the true one because that's the one where he was physically unwell but he also referred to "elim" in that one which gives it the ring of a potential falsehood

julian forgiving him anyway, even after all the horrible stuff he said, even after being physically ATTACKED (WHICH WAS SCARY!!! i was scared of him!!!!!) for "whatever he did," just because garak said "i need to know someone forgives me"..........AUGHGHGH JESUS CHRIST

THE FACT THAT HE WON'T TALK ABOUT IT. he won't tell even US what he did. eliot spencer core actually. i am beside myself about it all

maybe he's right and it is all true. maybe he destroyed a ship and framed a friend AND let some kids go. it's literally none of business though like he's not gonna tell us

anyway, i heard the term "brain implant" and nearly died on the spot, so 10/10 episode

honestly, they should have just upgraded this guy to a regular. he is so good

NEXT TIME: tng's "emergence" and ds9's "crossover" AND YES I KNOW THAT'S MIRRORVERSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[emmyrosee]

HI HI HI I came up with this one when I was in a superrrrr giggly mood and I’ve been saving it up in my little notes thing so I hope you enjoy Suna 2 hehe <3 (and it’s fitting bc I’m in a mood similar to that again now 😭)

BUT ANYWAY!!!!

Suna sending you pictures from his camera roll/more texts/making you laugh in general in situations you shouldn’t be laughing (like a lecture or something). words, inside jokes, memes that he just KNOWS are going to fuel the fire. He will watch you struggle to hold in a laugh with tears in your eyes when someone calls you out with the fondest look on his face (which he’ll try to hide ofc cause he doesn’t want anyone to know he’s part of the issue, the little shit)??? He’ll push it to the point where you can’t even look at him for the rest of whatever it is you’re doing without immediately having to look away in order to not make a scene. God forbid you guys are sitting NEXT to each other, he’s going to make your life a living hell. He’s less likely to do it when you two are sitting together, actually, cause he has less self control and will probably end up wheezing too. At least from across the room he can hide his amusement and the most emotion that comes through is his stupid little smirk. (it doesn’t have to be this setting, this man will literally make sure to do it in the WORST possible situations for you bc he’s nothing if not a menace who wants to see his baby loosen up a bit bc of him)

But honestly he just loves to make you laugh and seeing you lose control like that just makes him so soft. Later, when you’re annoyed with him for making you suffer like that (even if you both know it was incredibly funny) he will gladly cuddle you as an apology. And if you’re willing, he’ll show you a couple other things he had in his arsenal to hear your laughter clearly this time (in whatever form you see fit!!)

anon <3

ISNSOSNSOSNOSKS S T O P MY BESTIE AND I LITERALLY HAVE THIS ONE MEME I SENT HER, AND DEADASS WELL BE IN A WORK MEETING AND INSTANTLY JUST START CACKLIGN SOENDOENOS-

But honestly like. He is the absolute worst.

Because okay. Like, rintaro knows when it’s not time to fuck around because it’s serious (which is like. 0.003% of the time you’re together, other times you’ll just swat the shit out of him-) but he considers any other time free game, because he can see the way your shoulders tense, or the way you gnaw at your lip, or dig at your cuticles, and he hates to see you like that.

So. Like any other menace, he sends the worst kinds of things at the worst kind of times.

One time, you were out with some friends who were just kind of like, not engaging with you, so when you texted Rin to tell him you were bored, he immediately sends this tiktok, and it has you choking on your drink.

A few weeks ago, his family was having a little get together, and despite having been together for years, you still sometimes get a little shaky around his family, so, naturally, as you’re talking to his aunts and mother, he sends you this meme, and it makes you snort aloud.

It has his poor aunts chuckling awkwardly, and you scowl because you know damn well in the hammock seat three yards away, some dickhead with a middle part is snickering victoriously.

Even yesterday, when you were getting ready to leave, you slipped and fell on your ass, and a few hours later, you got this tiktok sent to you, and it had you tearing up to hide your laughter at work.

And it’s like. Healthy, because once you start firing back at him, the two of you going out just becomes an absolute mess of laughter and wheezing and the occasional annoyed look but tf they looking at, they’re just jealous-

This tiktok in particular almost got you kicked out of a restaurant from a few noise complaints, mainly from his snorts.

And even if it’s not always appreciated, it’s always from a good place. And that’s what makes it special; be it something dumb like fart noises, or cat pictures, it’s always something he knows is going to make you lose your mind in the best way he thinks you need it.

Of course it is best to see him nudging for your attention when you pretend to be mad about it.

“I know you laughed,” he whined, tugging at your shirt. “Come onnnnn, we got yelled at together!”

“It was embarrassing,” you grumble.

“You’re already dating me, how much more embarrassing could you think this gets?”

That, to your dismay, gives him another snort, and now that he knows you’re not actually upset, he leans over to nuzzle his head against your cheeks and neck, “you can’t resist me and you know it.”

“I hate you so much,” you scoff, trying to shrink your shoulders to get his face away, “and fuck off with the ears and neck shit!”

“I thought you liked when I whispered in your ear,” he teases, despite knowing you, in fact, have extremely mixed feelings about said action.

And sure, when you shove him off the bed to get away from him and it sparks a whole new round of play fighting, both of you know it’ll end with your head on his chest, his slender fingers gently rubbing up and down your back while his other hand shows you the knew chaos on his for you page.

It’s a cycle at this point.

And you’re fairly sure it’s not one he’s looking to break anytime soon 🥺💖

[princess-glassred]

Guys pls hear me out on this au idea i just thought of pls pls pls im begging:

It Carrie AU where Henry is Carrie but instead of an abused child who's been bullied all her life trying to come out of her shell and it ending in tragedy, it's an abused child who's been A BULLY all his life attempting to actually grow as a person, and it ending in tragedy.

Henry suddenly becomes aware of just how much like his father he's become, and by extension, just how much his cousin is becoming like both of them, so Henry finally looks inward and begins to think about things. He doesn't change instantly, in fact, he still responds to what he sees in that typical Henry Bowers fashion, but it does make him think. Very very slowly he begins to second guess the things he's doing, whenever he thinks about harassing Mike again he can't help but ask why since it doesn't even sound like a fun time, and moe often than not he changes his mind to something mischievous but alot less harmful and psychopathic.

He starts complaining openly about his dad to Belch and Vic, and although Belch and Vic are asshats too they listen and agree that Butch is horrible to Henry, and just that's enough to chip away at Henry's issues. He'd been holding all of that agression in and putting it out in exclusively violent ways, that just HEARING belch and Vic say "Your dad is so stupid, you're the strongest guy i know" messes with him. From there it kinds spirals, and Henry starts to question himself even more, if his dad is so wrong wbout everything, then he must he wrong about the Hanlon's right? Why did he ever care about harassing Mike at all when his dad didn't love him either way? He still holds on to prejudice, and he's still violent as fuck and generally acts like a dick to most people, but there IS a change happening, with possibly even more on it's way. Dare i even say, healing?

This is probably the first time in his whole life he's ever felt like moron for picking on some one, or heck, the first time Henry's felt like he could be kinda honest and vulnerable about how mucu he hates his dad. He is so so so god damn CLOSE to changing it hurts, but it all ends up being useless in the end.

Henry had been avoiding the losers club for a while now, the real reason was that Henry knew whenever he saw them it drove him fucking ballistic and he was realizing how it'd be better for him (not for the losers club, HIM, but hey, it's a start at least) to waste time harassing people who made him the most violent. The losers club, however, do not know this at all, as far as they know Henry has just been busy and is as incapable of change as his father. They are not wrong for assuming it, but what they do next is about to have horrible horrible consequences.

About four weeks ago, before Henry had started to think about things, he'd broken into the Hanlon farm and slaughtered his dads most favorite sow. It deeply affected him for a while, and the reat of the losers club are all pretty pissed off on his behalf. They just wanna mess with Henry a little, he's been humiliating them for god knows how long, he deserves to get back what he's been dishing out.

So they wait until Mike can collect some blood from their slaughtered pigs and puts it in a bucket. They plan to dump it on him during the Derry days festival, after they all vote for him to be the Derry Days Prince, and they assume it'll just be some well deserved karma for a psycho that's been harassing them for years.

What they did not expect though, was that when Henry comes to Derry days he is... remarkably well behaved. He's pretty quiet, he's not getting in fights, there's offensive or nasty joke here and there, but he seems calm. For the most part, he's just having a genuinely good time with Belch and Vic.

When Derry Days prince is announced Henry is pretty stunned. He is far from a Carrie White, people aren't clapping for him and he's not crying tears of joy or anything, but he is caught of gaurd and quite flattered.

Then the blood falls. And while the losers club think they've just done a humiliating prank on some one who deserved it, they've actually just erased all the progress Henry had been working towards. It's not really their fault, they had no idea, but they had just snapped him all the way back to rock bottom. And Richie's jokes at Henry's expense definetly don't help.

If being around the losers club in general was enough to make Henry see red, then you can only imagine what's happening inside his head now. The blood had taken everything Henry had ever feared and used to fuel his violent tendencies and AMPLIFIED it. Everyone does think he's pathetic. Everyone is laughing at him. He isn't a real man. He's puny, weak, and nothing will ever change that. And that's when Pennywise wiggles it's way into Henry's psyche and turns Derry Days into anothet town tragedy just like the Black Spot or the Derry Ironworks explosion. It let's Henry get a taste of it's infinite cosmic power and he rampages, utterly snapping.

He kills a lot of people, but the losers club manage to get out okay. He ends up walking home and killing his father too, only for the losers club to find him and band together to defeat him.

They're all deeply remorseful for inadvertantly causing the Derry days tragedy and do extensive work to make amends and apologize to everyone they might have hurt. Everyone except for Henry, who is remembered exclusively as a total psycho, with out anyone ever realizing he was nearly there.

[coarsely]

FEEL. -How does your character react to a persons touch? A random stranger’s? A loved one’s? A friend’s?

and

HUMBLE. -How does your muse handle praise?

:3

Oooh, so I'm gonna answer these for a few different characters!

FEEL. - How does your character react to a persons touch? A random stranger’s? A loved one’s? A friend’s?

Saccade lives in an incredibly rough area of Nod, so being touched by a stranger would definitely equate to "someone is trying to steal from you or kill you", and she'd probably break your nose or crack your head with her barbed-wire wrapped cane. To a loved one, she is much more relaxed, quietly reciprocating contact via rubbing her thumb over the backs of hands, or pressing foreheads together. To a friend, she'll gladly take a slap on the back and a firm handshake and possibly even a friendly kiss on the cheek from Diomede, but by and large she prefers to keep some sense of distance between her and other people, unless for some purpose or she really loves them.

Potentate Louis is about as high up the social rung as you can get, given that he is very literally Descended From God, so he is very rarely touched by anyone who isn't extremely trusted servants. To be touched by a stranger is an utmost violation, and could incur a punishment very easily. Even contact from his family (the closest thing he has to loved ones) is unnatural and uncommon, and would definitely freak him out. In a later chapter, he gets touched by a woman and it puts him into a fever like state where he has numerous dreams about cannibalising her, so he wouldn't take it well. And unfortunately he has no friends so I can't speculate on the last one </3

Diomede used to be quite comfortable with physical contact, being leader of the Vagor and having his elder brother with him all the time. Even if he didn't know you very well, he'd be happy to give a friendly handshake or an arm around the shoulders. Unfortunately, after being exiled, he's become a lot more reserved and a lot less naturalised to physical contact, so he'd recoil a lot faster these days. Due to being exiled, he had essentially no loved ones left, but was always fairly touchy with his family while they were there, often giving embraces and friendly kisses. He does yearn for physical touch and closeness the way he used to have, but that's one thing of many that he misses following his exile.

Dahra, like Saccade, lives in a fairly rough area of Nod and so has a similar reaction to being touched by strangers; immediately assumes the worst, so starts beating the shit out of you. Unlike Saccade, she has a more active social life, so is quite comfortable touching her friends and loved ones, in part because of her closeness to Ucalegon, who is also quite a physical and touchy person generally. Often, she'll casually rest her legs over the laps of different people, or rest her head against them, or seek physicality in other ways.

HUMBLE. - How does your muse handle praise?

For Saccade, it's all about the tone and who. In general she isn't someone who's going to care too much, as she's pretty confident in herself. Age has told her not to second-guess herself, and that self-doubt will kill her in Neo-Babylon. She's never relied on other people to tell her she's doing a good job or to be proud of her, and I could see her taking a lot of poorly worded praise as disingenuous, even patronising. But from people she genuinely likes, she does really appreciate it, even if she'd usually deflect with a joke or a threat she doesn't mean.

Potentate Louis, being a descendant of literal God, is heavily praised in a religious sense for his importance, holy flesh and spirit, divine power etc, but being praised for like, who he is as a person is an alien concept and one he would probably short circuit if he heard. I think it would actually leave him at a loss for words.

For Diomede, it depends on what. He's confident in a lot of things, particularly what he can do for other people; his weaponsmithing, his leadership, his cooking. In those cases, he takes it well but it doesn't stand out as anything important to think about, as he knows his worth in those areas. In other things though, that he's less certain about or doesn't think of himself as particularly successful at, like dancing, his occasional drag performances, or who he is as a person in general, he's a lot more flustered and disarmed by it. Being a leader for so long, he did rely on what other people thought of him and what other people saw in him, and that's carried on even after his banishment from the Vagor.

Dahra won't care if it's from some random or someone she's trying to manipulate (someone like Amhras or Vítor Cadogan), but from someone like Ucalegon who she majorly respects and admires, it's everything to her. While she's worked hard to never rely on anyone for anything ever again, she is at heart a traumatised young woman and being praised by the people she looks up to and tries to emulate is something she'd be very impacted by, and strive for. I think she's slightly aware of this in herself and hates it about her, but it doesn't stop her trying to impress Ucalegon either.

[weekend-whip]

Just general headcanons? Dates? Pet names and inside jokes? What does their pining look like? It doesn’t have to be plot related I am simply Very Invested in your dorks.

*cracks knuckles* ...I'll be as general as I can then, I guess—

Kai: Hopeless flirt. Can dish it out like no one's business but crumples into a stuttering mess upon having it returned. Tries to keep his dates as casual as possible for less pressure but can be persuaded into more fancy and/or exciting things if the other party is willing. Pines in the way that he'll catch them out of the corner of his eye, adore them from afar, and usually has to be smacked out of it (and then proceeds to think of nothing but them for the next few hours). Showers his partner with a series of off-the-cuff pet names until landing on the best one that fits.

Jay: Not a flirt whatsoever, just tries to compliment the other when he can (and if he doesn't stumble over himself in the process). Loves dates that are fun and don't require being still for very long (like riding rides at an amusement park, taking dance lessons, or the arcade). Very obvious pining, couldn't hide it even if he tried, sometimes just embraces the pining to the point of being embarrassing snksnk. His pet names range from absurd inanimate objects that remind him of his other, but usually just settles for their name because what's more potent and perfect than that?

Cole: Flirts without realizing/trying—usually mistakes it as just being really comfortable with the other person and thus rattles off whatever comes to mind, potential romantic implications be damned. For dates, he loves to go out dancing every now and then, or to go try someplace new, but otherwise is just fine with a cozy night at home watching a movie and cuddling. His pining is usually quiet and subtle, reserved for stolen moments, but it can be deep and intense if it becomes something that starts to consume him. Already has a habit of nicknaming his friends, so usually just sticks with a shorthand version of their other's name, or something reserved specifically for them.

Zane: Has never flirted once in his life and yet it is a strategy that has worked for him–is just honest and upfront about his feelings and that makes it easy to go from there. He looooves winter-themed dates, but also enjoys times when he can experience something new with his partner, or if it's something his partner really enjoys (even if he doesn't understand). Has no time to pine because once his feelings click he's going for it, baby. Not a big user of pet names, but does tend to call his partner 'dear' from time to time (a trait he picked up from his own parents ;w;)/ )

Nya: Has crushes, but never really goes out of her way to flirt unless they flirt first. Tends to favor dates that are more of an experience rather than something to do just to do, but also doesn't actually hate having an excuse to dress up from time to time and be pampered. Her pining is just her constantly questioning herself: "Why do I find them so cute??" "Why do I keep staring at them?!" "Should I tell them?!" "What would even happen if I do?!" and then just keeps cycling in on herself. Despises pet names........but will make exceptions because COMPROMISE—

Jesse: Do I? Really? Need to go over him? DO I? Fiiiine...

Jesse (for real this time): Can only flirt in his "magician" mindset; otherwise gets way too flustered and winds up saying more than he means to and then has to backpedal. Will always enjoy a date as long as his partner is having fun, but always makes sure to have a list of ideas at the ready should an opportunity arise—really, he'll be game for anything if the other party is interested. Pines with a burning jealousy and also a sense of wistful hopelessness. Tends to use pet names sarcastically, but if he uses 'sweetheart'—that one's always genuine.

Olivia: Is generally flirty anyway; tends to be less so around people she genuinely likes. Isn't really "big" on the concept of dates; just likes spending time with the other party in whatever scenario they're in (even if she's in the middle of trying to murder or something). She does like presents/souvenirs, so any activity that nets her something to take home is probably a good one. Pines with subtly, but will get flustered if she's caught staring or bringing up a crush too often. A queen of nicknames, and has no problem dishing out every pet name in the book, but when it comes to something specifically for her partner it might throw her off her game a little.

Pixal: Has also never flirted a day in her life but still has a charm in her approach to things that others can't help but find endearing. At first dislikes the idea of dates, believing them to be a waste of time, but comes to understand and appreciate them after she goes on one for herself. Likes educational dates–like visiting museums or visiting historic landmarks—but also likes seeing places with lots of art or with animals. Her pining is few and far inbetween, but it still happens—and she'll blush purple or green when it happens. Doesn't normally invoke pet names herself, but will adapt to the preferences of whoever she's with.

Skylor: Master flirt. Knows exactly which buttons press and when, know how to game the system—but will stumble when confronted with a genuine show of kindness. Actually has no real preference for dates—just loves the experience of being able to even go on one, and to take a break from her work, and thus will be up for doing anything. (She's adaptable like that.) Tries to mask her pining and can usually get away with it, but if she's in too deep she'll let a few giggles or a blush loose and then have to hastily explain herself. No stranger to doling out nicknames/petnames, and will fire off the first thing that comes to mind without flinching........but anyone calling her anything will take her out at the knees swooning she wasn't readyyyyyy

[skayafair]

Ep 86

You know what, I MIGHT actually start shipping them. QPR lvl or not or whatever but damn I was HAPPY at this "I'm coming with you". Help I like the dynamic too much

Ep 88

Wait are these just jokes or did I finally actually pick up on some romantic-ish hints??? I miss those every time but huh??? For real? 👀👀👀

*confused aroace spec noises*

...alright, I've listened to it 3 times. In a row. I'm enjoying this too much x)

I wish podcasts stopped referring to being or becoming a more decent person as "being/becoming human" though.

But I like they started to use "identity" to define "Ned" and not any other word. I won't agree there was no personality before, this simply ain't possible. But "identity" is a stronger word, more defined, more... present. One can hardly decide on their personality but anyone can choose their identity. Or this is how it is to me.

It's still hardly believable this is the 1st time for him - he's been Ned for just... less than a year? And he used to maintain the same persona for years before. There HAD to be other connections, other feelings. What I can believe though, is that he's forgetting. It's more than a thousand years of memories, after all. Also THIS time presents some challenges Ned didn't come across before. And every person changes as their life goes, little by little, shifter or not. I'd give a nickel or two for Ned to talk to Anna about Theseus paradox :D So yeah it's either the show doesn't give all the grounds for his changes to make complete sense or I'm not picking them up so I have to come up with explanations of my own.

Characters with inner conflicts are the most compelling so I'm not surprised Ned has so many listeners in his grip since he's the only one with clear conflict this season.

[resmarted]

declined an extra day of work so I could have two days off instead of one and the deep guilt of relaxing during the height of tourism weekend (decadence fest / labor day) consumes me. I need to organize my mcfricken house already but I'm always so tired once I finally get to spend any time here. I also rly need to put food in my damn fridge. also eating is still such a chore like when am I going to feel like forcing anything down other than beans and pb&js? I used to love to cook and eat and for the last nine months now I have to force it down so that I don't die or get too cranky. bluhhhh there is a less miserable version of me somewhere in here I just don't know when I will find her. I am actually a lot more pleasant irl but in writing I am always so intense and macabre. you know what it is, homies. also I do love doing readings and I wish I could do them more. busy weekends are the best bc you get to meet people from all over the world and they have the most interesting lives and they are each going through something so personal and real and giving them clarity feels really nice and I see myself in all of them but sometimes I see myself too much in them and need to hold back the tears until I can get home and sob hysterically. also I think I am just releasing a crazy amount of pain and I can't wait to get home to cry no matter where I am and I never used to be like this. I used to joke about being like this but I was never this big crybaby, possibly from having it instilled in me at a very young age to suck it the fuck up and deal with it but idk man. starting over in life from the bottom over and over again is nothing new to me but this time around it is truly from the very bottom with no one to lean on. people talk so much shit on me for the dumbest things like not having a car and it's just like uh I also don't have a family or a general support system or anyone I feel like I can trust so throw that in the mix while you're at it. the reason I don't have a car anymore is morbid the reason I exist is morbid everything is very disturbing and I want to give up like all the time. like literally all the time. everything is so hard and horrible and I am too scared to have any fun or enjoyment because what if the ground sinks below my feet the moment I do? I want to elope to verona with someone that loves me and i want the planet to heal in my hands and i wish very badly to wake up to a new reality but i keep finding myself in this groundhog day so i try to remain quiet and grateful. everything hurts my feelings all the time and I have to tell myself this is what I signed up for before coming to earth so that I can get through it. very tired of people saying I am meant to learn from these challenges to become stronger and wiser. would love a fucking break from being strong and wise. would love to be dumb and weak and ignorant to everything instead. jealous of anyone that is.

[voidicbismuth]

My obligation to my kin whom I will never meet

On Friday nights, I go to a movie night with people I know from my community theatre. It's usually me, two cishet fellows and one cis gay man, whom is very old fashioned. Sometimes we have people who come and watch with us for a night but not the next. We usually watch 2 movies, have fun and call it a night.

But for the last 2 nights, one of the guys, who I'll be referring to as W, has been making some transphobic comments. It's nothing particularly unique, just the stock standard sneer about pronouns or something equally benign, or making fun of an enby friend of mine.

With the last visit, I did a bit of pushback, but the night ended with a long-winded conversation where I have to try and debunk his talking points but it was no use. The other two, while not as involved as W, were agreeing with him mostly.

Now I am sitting here and facing a bit of a moral dilemma. After I got home I spent a lot of time thinking about what W said, debunking his points and trying to come up with new points or arguments and I realized something. This would be the second night where I've come back from this feeling like crap, crestfallen to see him and others like him being idiots for no discernable reason.

On the other hand, I come off as straight quite easily, I hate coming off as grating or annoying so a lot of the time I tone myself down to be less of a hassle. I'm probably a lot of people's only exposure to non-gay people and that, I think, gives me a lot of leverage to change their minds when they are acting queerphobic.

I'm empathetic, possibly to the point of a flaw, but I try to listen and understand regardless of what you're saying. I also try to make them empathize and understand others who aren't cis or straight. But what if it's not working?

Because of my position of being unobtrusive and otherwise affable, I think I have an obligation, a duty, to speak for my trans siblings everywhere to try and stop people from spreading shit against them.

But what should I be willing to lose of myself to help them?

This is sort of the crux of what my whole post is about. I am in a position of privilege, leverage, a position to make a change. And I don't know if I'm doing enough. Have I actually changed someone's mind? Have I actually made them self-examine, or are they just tiptoeing around me because I've made them think I'm going to go off at them because I care about this so deeply?

Every time, I hear those jokes, those insults, a small part of me is hurt. A needle against my skin, sending me pain which I cannot remove. I try and speak them out of it but that just opens up the path for more needles. It just keeps coming and it makes me want to retreat... like a coward.

But then I think about my queer friends and how they must feel about it. They don't have the choice of retreat, they can't just not engage, for them it's either endurance or death. and then I think further on and I think about all the other trans people who have been hurt, are hurting, are dying and I once again feel like a coward for wincing at a candle when they are in a blaze.

I can try and keep putting myself in there, but I don't know how long I can keep it up. I want to put me, myself, my mind and body on the line but bits of me keep falling away, like necrotic carrion and I'm starting to get scared of what's going to be left behind when I am done.

So I'm facing this dilemma, of seeing how everyone else is hurting and knowing I can do so much work to help them all, maybe work that would get through better than if they did it, but possibly becoming less and less as time goes on. Or I leave, reaping the benefits of all of my queer forbearers who worked damn hard to put me in this place where I can live happily like this and spitting in their faces and in my friends faces.

Excuse the vent, but I had to put it somewhere before I explode

[afr0-thunder]

[Poor Chronicles Pt. 41]

Topics: Work (Vacation)/Chicago vs. CPD/Photography/Vocabulary/Girls/Super Bowl/SEXI (Final Update Pt. 2)/Phoenix “Theory”

Week 1 of my work “vacation” is complete. I am not scheduled for this entire holiday season. This may have been one of the only weeks I’ve had off since I had started.

I was almost murdered by the police for ignoring their “greeting” and being identified as someone holding a firearm. It was a visual misunderstanding. Still, he pulled his gun on me and I was not entertained. Will not elaborate any further.

I took some more pictures, my Ralph Lauren Polo sweater is actually more intriguing than I had initially thought.

I will be referring to my housing design as an “assortment”. I want a 50-story assortment so that my promiscuous wenches must go through multiple levels of physical activity before fucking me. Showers on the 47th floor. For example, “wife” #1 must complete a video of 10 three point shots, 1 min of jump role (freestyling), obstacle course with barbed wire (Jokes. Possibly. I like crazy women). First woman to the top, no reward. Just fucking. I don’t want the others to get jealous, but she was first and this ideally shouldn’t take the same amount of time for them all, so it shouldn’t even be an issue on finishing first (for them). Not like if I did…sexually. Like who makes it to me first…because it’s not a race, so they won’t finish near eachother in time, as I only have one dick in my arsenal. How would I start fucking 50 bitches at once? A bit of a friendly fire on myself for the “finishing first” originally. But nonetheless (anyways), unless I make my room door transparent… should I just make them come join? Do I make them edit it and put it all together. If they have time. DON’T. BE. LATE! Class is in session *yard stick slam on the desk* (All jokes). Timed? 30 mins or less, if task based not speed based. Effort based? Like “punitive” measures for intentional slacking/decrease in quality? I will obviously do mine as well. I may do timed 30 minute sessions for myself as well for hobbies such as sketching to say sharp. There may be a hot tub or even a pool on my level. A large TV! First done can pick today’s show or movie. Watch whatever show in the meantime. Or update others as they come if you don’t choose an [appetizer show]. Paused? Or maybe it’d just keep getting stopped from someone new always entering the room and become a big group discussion. Once a week. I forgot they’d have to have jobs and have to travel a lot so I can’t make them do it ALL week. Can I? They may have time. It depends. Can’t complete a level? That’s okay. Ends at 2:00pm. We’ll have those digital clocks with the red numbers, so everybody knows what floor and hour they are on. Make it tomorrow’s whole day goal. If met early, complete other tasks from previous day (for daily fitness/exercise). Until you can complete the circuit by 2:00pm, don’t set a new goal. (This would be a great reality show, but I don’t want cameramen, have any interest in entertainment as far as movies/television and I could potentially do this naked. Why would I record obstacle course porn?).

The Ravens continue to reign dominant. Lamar Jackson is a spectacular Super Bowl champion versus the Dallas Cowboys. The Philadelphia Eagles will be there though. Obliterated the Dolphins for that 28 point comeback last year. I like Tua, but damn Lamar did him dirty.

I have decided to reduce the number of baby mommas. I said I would never speak to SEXI again, last year in 2022, for my own personal reasons. She responded to the direct message from the other day and said “Thanks” with a crying laughing emoji. I said she looked “sexy”. I’m about to leave this bitch on read for life. I, however, elect to resume fucking up people’s lives. I will not fuck up hers in any fashion. As long as she holds this fumble in. Otherwise, they will make fun of her.

Your pathways from birth until death carrying every breath you take, following your every step. New cells are created, hair sheds, skin sheds, blood, sweat and tears, saliva shed. One day, they will all follow along the same path as the airways and in the perfect moment will all come together and you will rise again as phoenixes do. Everything you once were will all come back together long after your death and you will rise once more. If you hate your being, you will continue to pollute the airways and deteriorate your natural being through practices such as drug consumption and heavy eating.

I have more thoughts, but time to smoke.

- MH (2023)

[12/31/2023 - 7:59PM]

[lostacelonnie]

Ah hell my bad i did get. Really busy & really tired the end of year holidays are busy & really draining. I am a sea person but im glad that resonates with non sea people too. People try & talk to you often there? I dont know a whole section of verb conjugation so im not sure how id do there. Fried bread & cinnamon sugar what a peak combination thank you churros. Same i need to pick up more spanish food recipes. Oh? Thats a good start actually. Knowing simple stuff like eggs or grilled cheese or uh. Chicken noodle soup are good baselines. I mean. Yeah same to a degree. I turn them on when im reading or walking/going places. Keeps me focused. Mag is good. Same with nightvale & alice isnt dead. Thats some solid luck kudos to everyone for not getting attacked by gulls. Id wonder about that too australia seems. Nice but very weird. Like their one prime minister who walked into the ocean & disappeared. Kudos to her for finding one she likes & gets along with enough to move there. Ah nothin like light hearted roasting among friends love that for you. Oh jeesh thats like my geometry teacher i had once. Dude would get distracted & then skip stuff he was supposed to help us learn. & still test us on it. Had a different math teacher help me sometimes because he was better at teaching. Hell yeah english teacher for the save. She sounds cool. I dont have time for meta so like. Why bother when if something works it works? Oh is honkai meta that hard? Do i need to focus on that on the way through the story? Oh thats way better like star rail having a pick your own on standard after x amount of pulls. What genshin's fate system could be if it was good. Hmm im not sure where even to start. I guess about himeko. Like her place in the story & what her story in hi3 is. Since i doubt its similar to in hsr. Hell she does have that vibe doesnt she? Chill piracy milf in a way. I hope she becomes playable. A thirty minite backstory? Must be a heck of a joke. Or because of all the polish nuance. Thanks! Ill have to see how she plays of course but personality wise she's good. Fontaine has killed it with interesting characters. Oh? Why the screen limit is it a doctors orders thing? & no worries about that life hit me hard so i understand. Ah thanks im getting to where gear matters a bit so ill need that luck. Need to up talents & such more though. Makes sense then but damn 4 pm as the other option? Both of those aren't super great. I live close to my work which is nice but i still have to wake up 2 hours before for early days because otherwise i wont wake i am not a morning person. 4 am? Hell mad respect for that i could never im barely a person some days at that hour i definitely wouldnt be. Oh nice congrats! On the exam & the history memes. At least your friends are becoming nerds with you. Important group activity. Im caught up on show & manga releases but i do need to read the spin off still when i can find it. Claire has protag rights to one name

AH ITS OK i just. Dont trust tumblr to function properly AJSKFJJH. but ah wishing you some time to chill soon. i understand tho since its the end of the first semester in my school so literally every teacher is trying to squeeze in as many tests as possible. yeah sjdkfkkskdf thats one thing everyone can agree on i suppose!! and it really is like that!! the stereotype about spanish people being seemingly All Extroverted is. much more true than i expected it to be. especially when compared to poland where everyone just more or less minds their own business. and not knowing the language that well proved to be less of an issue than i thought actually!! as in. i do Not speak spanish very well but through a series of trial and error combined with a lot of gesticulation i managed to communicate well enough. AND FOR REAL good lird. they were so right for that. and thanks!! i can more or less follow intermediate recipes so i can Survive more or less. and ahh thats fair, i unfortunately cant really listen to stuff outside my house as i only own headphones and not earphones and i dont like being Completely disconnected from the sound around me when im not at home. but very understandable. ANYWAY YEAH AUSTRALIA IS. A PLACE. i heard about that one prime minister yeah..... wild...... and yeah ajdkfjg me and my friends have been dissing each other for a Long time since i did the same thing in my previous school. always fun. AND AOUGH I FEEL YOU i have. a Lot of teachers like that. but eh im pretty decent at studying on my own [if i find the energy.....] so its managable. with math teachers too actually which is very funny bc last year we had this one teacher [we called her The Brick] who just. did not explain Anything just start doing exercises on the board and then be disappointed when we didnt understand anything. so obviously we were very happy to hear that were gonna have a different one EXCEPT??? SHE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO COUNT???? LIKE GENUINELY SHE DOES SOMETHING ON THE BOARD THREE TIMES AND EACH TIME ITS SOLVED INCORRECTLY. IN A DIFFERENT WAY. ah well. but yes my english teacher is very epic. if nobody got me i know she got me can i get an amen. and exactly i agree with you!! as in. i like when theres a Big Number so i try to more or less build my chars but im not gonna wreck my sanity doing the same domain over and over again. the honkai meta however IS pretty hard so i try to keep up with that. but im much less excited for part 2 so when it drops im probs gonna focus on gearing the chars i already have instead of pulling the new ones since you can do anything with a good support and i have. pretty good supports [HERRSCHER OF TRUTH FOR THE WIN]. id generally recommend Not Completely Ignoring it yeah. tho i did and still managed to pull myself out, but it wasnt a pleasant experience [god. superstring dimension with ungeared teams. Augh.] so. yeah. AND RIGHT???? honkais meta may be painful but the gacha sure is not. I WILL GET INTO HIMEKOS STORY BUT ITS GONNA TAKE A SEC SO ILL JUST PUT IT UNDER A READMORE AND ALSO BEWARE OF VERY VERY VERY HEAVY SPOILERS. since im not exactly sure in what point of the story youre in. AND YEAH shes just. chillen. and the joke is [linguistic rant incoming] actually not That long [i just love hyperboles] although there is one joke that is Actually pretty hard to explain. anyway what i wanted to say is that she has ESSA which. first of all this is slang but its slightly outdated slang [which, of course, doesnt stop me from using it] and it just. well when you say someone has essa it means theyre like. chill in a cool way. cool in a chill way. but also essa itself can be used like. hm. for example if you manage to do sth, say, pass an exam, and you wanna say you did it and also it wasnt very hard?? you can just say NO I ESSA. its not quite translatable into english but needless to say i shall now begin using it. AND YEAH FR rare occurence where genshin made me actually care about male characters. as in. i love furina forever but neuvilette has actually proven to be someone i like as well.

[once again. tumblr forcing me to do a paragraph break] his autistic swag has captivated me. and yeah ajdfkgjsj as it turns out im both farsighted and have astigmatism so i should be limiting my computer usage...... its ok tho im trying to get into traditional art more and also studying is easier. so Its Joekay. ahhhhhh talents are such a pain to level up.... i just never have enough stuff for them seemingly. yeah my history classes have godawful times good lird. and we actually do less material bc of that since our teacher just refuses to do anything on the 6pm classes and just does twice the material in the monday block instead. i love my life. fair enough tbh, i picked up an ADDITIONAL 7am class bc its not mandatory and was close to disbanding but my classbestie really likes it so i joined to make it less likely to fall apart but ah. im regretting my decision. but at least the teacher is nice so. AND FOR REAL i do not understand where they get their energy from. or the dedication. ESPECIALLY for this godforsaken school. and ah thankies!!!! and good luck with catching up!!! i LOVE the manga sm omg...... im also very excited for the anime since the love scale arc is starting today and its my favorite........ big hype. and ah i started playing noita recently!!!! very fun i love games that are engineered to hurt me personally

ANYWAY. ONTO THE HIMEKO LORE

i Should mention that im not an expert on himeko lore BUT ill do my best hehehe. however i will reiterate that heavy spoilers ahead, especially for chapter 9.

SO himekos backstory is revealed in the alien space manga [which, admittedly, i read only because i found out shub niggurath appears by the end and i love niggurath] but it goes more or less like this. i wont go into detail about what Exactly happened because truth be told this is a pretty long manga and i simply do not have the motivation to do an Entire Summary but basically. when she was in university, her father, who was working for schicksal and also the host of an Actual Literal Alien kiiiiiind of went berserk [without her knowledge, of course] and welt had to Kill Him. which is pretty bad because they knew each other and were Kinda friends. anyway since her mother was already dead and she was infected with honkai at the time, this caused her to join schicksal! of course, the entire time kept in the dark about what exactly happened to her father. so when she was in schicksal, she was in the squad let by ragna lothbrok, who also ended up dying in action, and himeko ended up in saint freya. she also made bianka join schicksal! so anyway this is where we get to the main story. i wont go into chapter chiyou bc im gonna be honest i remember Nothing from chronicles. but she was kiana and the others from the main squad mentor, guiding them through their journey as valkyries. when kiana awoke as the herrscher of the void during the void arc, she was also Actively Dying from honkai poisoning [since valkyrie gear uses the honkai in it but she had pretty low natural resistance to it]. fu hua gives her an antidote that Could save her life but, during the final lesson, she uses it to temporarily seal the herrscher of the void so that kiana can live on. and dies in the process. i cry watching it to THIS DAY. but himeko remains as somewhat of an Afterlife Guide to the end of the series, appearing as flashbacks and visions in the chapter 11 ex cg, meteoric salvation, like an entire section of set tomorrow ablaze, everlasting flames, and graduation trip. to summarize, I LOVE HER AND WILL CRY ABOUT HER AGAIN. AOUGGGHH. she actually means so much to me you have no idea you have NO idea