#starting their journeys as little 12yo

[softquietsteadylove]

Okay, hear me out

Absolutely no one cares. But...

Frosslass' pokedex entry says that it will kidnap men it thinks are handsome in the snowy mountains?

Thena is a hardcore pro trainer who lives out in the mountains during the league off-season. She has a Gallade, a Ninetales (for obvious reasons). And Froslass comes back with this whole ass man one day like 'I found him freezing in a cave what was I supposed to do?' and Thena is like ???

But no, she's not going to throw him outside in the blizzard again. And no, she doesn't think he's handsome. And no, Frosslass doesn't have to look all smug about it.

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Regarding Howl's Moving Castle: An absolutely unnecessary explanation I'd like to get off my chest.

I'd like to clarify a few things regarding my stance toward Howl's Moving Castle even though nobody asked (both movie and book) and its characters, mainly toward Howl himself:

I often present Howl as a thought-absent brainlet who hadn't had a single active brain cell penetrate that pretty head of his ever in his life (and he's so real for that). I can see how that could come across as disrespectful or ridiculing of the sources, but (and it's an enormous BUT) Miyazaki iteration of Wynne Jones' book is one piece of media I find myself visiting repeatedly.

Back when I was a kid, I've grown up watching Spirited Away (2001) and Kiki's Delivery Service (1989) on a loop. My sister later took the reins and continued the legacy with Ponyo (2008) and Arietty (2010).

I'm so endlessly lucky to have parents who recognized Studio Ghibli's stories as art and genuine fairy tales - mainly because this kind of animation wasn't that known in my country when I was little. They realized the heroines were similar to us in attributes and characteristics - Chihiro (literally being a 12yo), Ponyo (brave, courageous little fishy girl), so on and so forth. All these little ladies inspired me and my sister to be adventurous and strong and Miyazaki's stories shaped us to some degree.

Howl's Moving Castle, however, is very special to me. I found it around 11 years ago (I was around 12 give or take) and everything about the movie inspired me. I fell in love with the art (both Hisaishi's music and the art style), I yearned for the hopeless romance, for all the adventure, for the funny fire demon and I wished to be like Sophie, who had her head straight no matter the circumstance and whose spirits were never broken. As time passed, I started coming back to it frequently, and now, I'd say those pieces have become my quiet places to which I can go when there's too much commotion. That one piece of media I dive into when I want to clear my head.

I've always viewed Howl as flamboyant, a bit too dramatic, lazy, pretty disregarding, a bit cowardly, melodramatic, charismatic son of a gun. And I believe that's precisely the point of both the media. In both media, Sophie eventually 'unmasks' Howl and learns what loving, caring, and gold-hearted lurks underneath all the pretentiousness and rumors. The main catalyst for me to view Pendragon as a thoughtless idiot was Wynne Jones' original interpretation of Howl's character itself. Miyazaki's iteration of Howl (even though it 100% works within the movie universe) is heavily romanticized and toned from 100% to a 10% (20% at best) obnoxiousness. This 'toning down' works for the movie, because even though the movie Sophie is my beloved ladybug, the book Howl would swallow her whole. Poor Grandma Sophie wouldn't survive a day with the book adaptation.

If I may, I'd like to describe Howl as a happy-go-lucky idiot who throws stuff at walls and sees what sticks. This man smells of trouble, unforeseen heroics, poetry, and heartbreak. He is openly a coward who runs away from his responsibilities like it's an Olympic discipline. He throws childish tantrums over the smallest inconveniences (book Sophie must've been on the verge of committing crimes on multiple occasions, god bless her, I hope she has a wonderful day). BUT that's what makes him so loveable, intriguing, and fun to follow on a journey toward peace, remedy, and growth. He's flawed. He's a character who grows and learns from his mistakes, someone who finds a family along his journey.

So, even though I've called (and I shall continue to refer to him as such) Howl Pendragon a brainless king, the epitome of 'no thoughts, head empty', not a brain cell in sight & often assume he runs away from coherent thoughts, I view him as one of the most inspiring characters I ever discovered. It might sound stupid, but I aspire to be like him. I wish to find someone worth fighting for.

[anabon3s]

Starting a blog: AUGUST 23

My names Lottie, I’m 20 years old and as in my first post I’m new to tumblr but not 3D!!

(I’ll pin this post)

For tumblr legal purposes

I am not PRO A4A, AGAINST RECOVEY or FAT-PHOBIC!!!!

Read or don’t read, follow or don’t follow, scroll on or don’t scroll on. BUT please don’t report, PLEASE PLEASE!!!! BLOCK me if you don’t like what I feel the need to share. THIS IS WHO I AM and this is my only outlet to people who understand and feel how I feel with no judgment or hesitation to help me feel less alone in this dark and lonely illness.

About me 😊

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I am 20 and relapsing for the 100th time through this bumpy gravel road (not really but it’s been on and off). I first got diagnosed when I was 14 and have had the best ups and downs of my life so far on it. I hate being ana (life is fucked up on this road and really we all know it deep down) but weirdly it is the only comfort I have now… earlier on this year (feb/March it’s unclear even to me) I relapsed into the worst state I’ve been in since I first got diagnosed.

Because I was seeing a GP for an already existing health condition since I was 12yo, I got “caught” pretty early on. Little to my knowledge, not so lucky for me (or lucky, you choose) my GP was “specialised” in 3D’s… ffs 🤦‍♀️

Since my diagnosis (being a minor family got involved against my choices early on). My family have been so hit and miss with holding me accountable, sometimes nothing can slip through the cracks for weeks and others I feel like they just “forgot” , “gave up” or “just don’t give a fuck” for literally months… BUT they hold me accountable to going to my GP appointments REGULARLY no matter what my weight or physical/mental health is like at the time 🙄

STATS:

HEIGHT: 156cm (5.1ft)

SW: 59kg (130lbs)

CW: 40kg (88lbs)

GW: 34kg (75lbs)

I’ve been through the highs and the lows of this illness (physically, weight wise and emotionally) I promise, I understand pretty much all sides and angles of it, most likely I’ve been through them my self :(

This is the long way of saying, I am open to sharing my journey from here, it is a lonely, dark journey a lot of us have not voluntarily taken part of but are stuck in for an unknown chunk of time for our lives!!!

I am always open for messages, chats, rants, questions or friendships! Just shoot the text and I’ll reply :)

[jaymgates]

Antares Log - 9-5-22

So, you know how I've been vaguebooking about an extremely stressful, emotional, giant life event thing since, oh, June?

Now that I've FINALLY sent the contract and his adoption fee over...

Please welcome our newest family member, Antares (registered name Justice Jet).

Antares is a 12yo, 16.1hh (very tall, for non-horse people), dappled bay Standardbred gelding from New York. He had a decade-long career in harness racing where he was top of the field, earning juuuust shy of $700,000 in a field where purses aren't that big. He retired last September and went to New Vocations, an absolutely amazing racehorse rehabilitation facility on the East Coast.

Yeah, you read that right. He's on the other side of the country. I have never met this horse. Today was the first time I even saw video of him. It's been A Journey. But now I just have to sort out the shipping, which is its own nightmare.

The backstory:

Almost exactly 21 years ago, I bought a big, lanky, $800 ex-racehorse and fell in love with the Standardbred breed. He was the heart horse for the entire family, and when we had to say goodby to him last year, it broke all of our hearts. I've been in a bit of a fugue ever since.

I'd been working with a horse up at Immortal Farms for the last few years, but in June, she was ready to move on to new things. To my intense surprise, it kicked off a *lot* of emotions.

And for the first time in my life, I found myself with the legitimate option to just...be done with horses. I've talked a lot about my riding anxiety the last few years, and with a fresh double heartbreak, I was actually poised to just walk away.

I haven't bought a horse in over fifteen years because I had my four, but with two gone and the other two as permanent pasture ornaments in California, I haven't really had my own mount for years. Assessing finances, my reduced travel due to Covid, and a few other things, and decided that I'd take one last look through the Standardbred rescues to see if I could find a unicorn.

Keep in mind, I've been idly browsing rescues for a decade, and never saw a horse that just grabbed my attention.

And there was this huge red bay on the front page of the New Vocations site. He had that eagle-eye look I love, and he was a red bay, which is my kryptonite.

The application took 2 hours and I submitted it that day. In the "why are you applying/what type of horse are you interested in", I said "This one specific horse is the one I want. Full stop."

THEY got back to me right away, and started checking all my references. The vet? That was June and half of July, and the source of many frustrated, angry vague posts on my part, because the rescue needed to ensure our current critters were in good health, and the vet just did not get back to them. I spent almost 2 months sure I'd miss out on him.

They FINALLY got back to the rescue, the rescue put me in touch with the trainer...where I found out he'd been on stall rest for a month because of a hoof issue. But, she was just about to put him under saddle again, so it was all good.

And then he was too excited after being on stall rest and sprained something. More stall rest. That was the end of July and most of August. Worse, we didn't know if it was just a sprain or a symptom of something much scarier.

He went back under saddle a couple of weeks ago, and has been doing great. The trainer has been great about keeping me in the loop. She sent me the video today, and, while I was actively being tattooed, we worked out the details.

I am absolutely thrilled, and can't wait to meet him. Ex-racehorses aren't the easiest things, especially when they're as successful as this guy, so I'm going to need to readjust my approach a little. I'm planning to do a bunch of posts on his progress, and even start a TikTok account about the adventure, which should help me keep focused.

The last eight days have been an absolute rollercoaster for both Dylan and me, but this...this is something my heart needed.

[mugigust]

Mugi's GameDev Journey #0 - Introduction

Hi, and welcome to this one of a kind devlog.

My name is MugiGust, I’m from Brazil, so before anything, take my english with a little patience, this devlog will be a multi-content journey, learning all kinds of stuff, from how to develop my own game to how to speak and write english properly, but without further ado, let me explain what’s the idea behind “Mugi’s GameDev Journey”.

I studied Game Design on college and since I was very little, when I say very little, I’m talking like 12yo kind of little, I wanted to make some kind of game content, initially the plan was a kind of mod for a game that’s very popular in Brazil, called Tibia, if you don’t know Tibia, you probably aren’t brazilian, but check the game out, it’s kinda cool... maybe?

So back to the topic, that time, there was a very popular Tibia mod amongst my friends, called PokéTibia, where they changed Tibia to add Pokémon sprites and some Pokémon mechanics, that was pretty wild at the time and I was simply fascinated with the idea, mainly because I’ve always been a massive pokémon fan, even to this date. 

PokéTibia was awesome, but in my mind at the time, it had a massive flaw: only the first 151 pokémon were available and, if my memory doesn’t fail me, we were at gen 4 or 5 at the time, so there was a HUGE amount of pokémon missing, so what my child brain thought? “Hey, it would be pretty cool if I could make a version of Pokétibia with all the 493 Pokémon that already exists!”, and that simple thought influenced all my future career decisions (Pretty wise choice if I can say so myself).

After the spark crossed my mind, I started searching on the internet for everything I would need to know to make that and stumbled at the hard reality: Developing games at that time wasn’t as simple as I thought, I would need to learn how to code to start my little adventure.

I graduated on a highschool focused on IT and learned how to code in C# and took a degree at Game Design on college, made some games, worked in some small projects and created a thousand games on my mind, all sharing the same HUMONGOUS problem: I never once finished a single game idea of my own, for a variety of factors like scope creeping, lack of motivation, sheer lazyness, name a random reason and odds are I gave up on finishing a game because of it (Ok, that sounds a little over the top, but you get the idea).

After all that, I stand here again, trying one more time, but this time, creating this crazy mess of a devlog, documenting my journey back to game development and showing to you, who maybe following me at this point, I dunno, that I finally can finish some projects on my spare time and maybe helping you not only motivate yourself too, but learn some kind of stuff as well, just as I’m challenging myself too, so feel free to comment your feedbacks on any post on this journey and as soon as I can, I’ll try to answer your questions and maybe even chit chat, why not?

After all that, be very welcome to Mugi’s GameDev Journey, join this boat and let’s see where the wind takes us on this adventure!

[todaydreambelievers]

TDB’s Final Bow

Every journey has an end... 

There’s a joke out there that reads - Bilbo Baggins was abruptly awoken to his alarm clock playing Don’t Stop Believin’.  It was an Unexpected Journey.  :D  I especially appreciate that joke because Bilbo has always been one of my fictional character kindred spirits.  :D :D 

Four years ago, Glee ended, and I was a little at a loss for what I was going to do with my life.  I knew that I had more Glee thoughts, and things I wanted to say, and I had just met so many great people in fandom, that I feared that without Glee to hold us together, I’d be left alone in the wastelands that are the internet.  So, after talking it through with a good friend (@multsicorn​ - this is a shoutout to you) I decided to start To Daydream Believers.  (And in case you’re wondering - no I didn’t spell ‘to’ wrong, it was meant to be a celebration - a toast! but also a pun.)  

My intention was to give a safe space for people who enjoyed both Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson - because way back when, there wasn’t one.  Either you liked one or the other, but if you claimed you liked ‘Klaine’ then you were a 12yo who counted kisses and whose opinion didn’t deserve recognition.  I tried to make this space as welcoming and positive as I could - and today, it amazes me that I ever had to give such stipulations because this community has grown and learned from each other, and we have become a place where you can enjoy Kurt and Blaine equally.  I am incredibly proud of that.  And I’m grateful that I’ve had a small part in trying to heal a very splintered and angry fandom.  

Amazingly, TDB started as just a fic prompt blog.  It was meant to keep the creative spirits going and the fic flowing.  But over the years it blossomed into so much more.  We began to add in Author Spotlights and Tournaments and Polls and meta discussions (all of which you can find on the main blog site, btw).  And then - I’m not sure how it happened but I decided I’d try a podcast and then - y���all talked me into doing the rewatch.  And here we are! 

I was advised early on to only keep going as long as I was having fun, and I did! But projects aren’t meant to last forever.  I knew the podcast would have a finite date - Glee is, after all, a closed canon, and there is only so much one can bring to the table of a story that had long finished.  I purposely timed the end of the podcast to go along with the end of the rewatch.  I knew when the end would be a long, long time ago.  

In truth, running this blog and doing a podcast is almost like a second job.  And while I’m grateful for the experience, I was beginning to get a little worn down.  I knew that it was time for me to move on with other endeavors - but I’m incredibly proud that I was able to see the project to its end.  We discussed and watched every episode of the show, looked deeply into every subject, talked about every aspect of Kurt and Blaine and Glee that I could come up with.  I feel like this is an extensive look at a show and characters who’ve touched so many of our hearts.  And the fact that it’s now complete is amazing to me.  

They say go out on a high note - and I really feel that I am.  

I don’t really know how to express how much this blog, this podcast, this community has meant to me.  You guys have taken me through some dark times, through some hard personal things, and brought me through us living in what is probably not the best time line (lol).  But you’ve also helped me grow as a person and expand my horizons.  I’ve met so many wonderful people whom I’m grateful to now call friends.  

I’m no longer scared that once I wrap up my own chapter on Glee, that I’ll lose the community we’ve built.  Sure, we’ll be in new, different places in our lives, talking about new obsessions and exploring new things and god I’ll say it - going into new directions.  But sharing Glee will always be a bond that connects us.  And that is special.  

I want people to know that even though TDB is coming to its natural conclusion - fandom doesn’t have to end here.  

There are still parts that will always be going.  @todaydreambelieversfic​ will always be active as long as someone has a new fic to share.  There’s the Discord Channel that will continue to be up as long as someone wants to talk about anything.  And of course, you can always find me on my personal blog @spaceorphan18​ to chat about anything you like! You know I’m always up for a conversation.  As long as Kurt and Blaine remain in our hearts - fandom is always alive.  

TDB’s end is here, but know that I’m never saying goodbye to any of you.    

Glee is about opening yourself up to joy.  And all of you have given me so much joy throughout the years.  Thank you for being on this journey with me.  <3

Much love always,

~SpaceOrphan18 xoxo

[thunderoad]

have you written anything about why you love the goldfinch? i live for reading people gush about something they enjoy

I have not!! but gosh, there was SO MUCH to love?? thank you for asking!! I went into it having read the secret history and the little friend, donna tartt’s other novels, so I knew she was going to build another massive, beautifully fleshed-out world with really intriguing, developed characters! her setting descriptions are absolutely, unbelievably textured and vivid and gorgeous. a big chunk of the novel is set in Las Vegas, and you can practically feel that desert dust sticking to your skin and the heat baking the breath out of your lungs. 

of all the characters she’s written before, too, I think Theo and Boris are my favorites. the little friend stars a 12yo girl at its center, and the child’s voice was so, so strong and accurate in that book, but she’s not quite permitted to have the same depth of understanding as tartt’s adult protagonists, so I think she captured the best of both worlds with Theo and Boris by having them grow up over the course of the novel. you get the sense of knowing both of them so well that they’re like friends, even though they’re both…well, not actually good people. their friendship was also really, really great to read about as well; they’re essentially the only person in each other’s lives who care about them, so they develop this very intense, youthful bond. tartt’s so great at writing friendships and she never undervalues them, which is rare and precious. 

and I think a consequence of having a child as your narrator, the way tartt’s done with Theo in The Goldfinch, is this element of the fantastical that’s there from the very start and lingers all throughout the rest of the novel. even the way boris calls theo ‘potter,’ as in Harry Potter, invokes a sense of the children’s capacity not just to believe in magic but to create it, as well, through these compressed, distorted cognitive processes; there’s this great bit in the little friend where Harriet, the 12yo, is looking at a picture of the fabulous house where her great-aunts used to live until it burnt down, and in her imagination it comes to life many times greater than it was in reality. but that’s the wonder of kids; they haven’t fully outgrown the fantastical, so they bring it into the world. 

I also thought it had one of the best articulated artistic theses I’ve ever read?? like, I think a lot of novels - especially novels about writing, or ones about art, which this one is - are developing an artistic ethos that answers the very writerly questions of ‘why do we write? what does it mean? what am I doing it for? does anybody really care?’ I loved the way these questions are sort of redirected through the medium of art and develop over the course of the novel until you emerge at the end with a very firm, very clear understanding of exactly why any of it matters. and I don’t think you’d get the same understanding if you didn’t power through all thousand pages of that giant book, which is a huge accomplishment in itself, u know? making that kind of a buildup pay off. I haven’t read many novels that paid off in a way that made the whole long journey worth so much more than the sum of its parts, but this one absolutely did. it was a complete pleasure to read. 

[dreamynightmare11]

I tried reposting it but couldn't add my reply to it so bada boom here it is. (Jus give it a like if you do see this so that I know you've read it..)

Hey Ty. It’s completely fine that you don’t talk to me or that we don’t talk anymore. There are a few people here on Tumblr who I clicked with because I found them to be nice, supportive and non-judgemental. And real. And honest about their issues.

About the support I give you, I give it because I know you deserve it and I know that your existence, your body doesn’t need any sort of hatred or negative energy by you. NO one’s body deserves that negativity. But I do understand that it’s not your fault. It’s just situations that happened in your life who are causing you to feel hurt and feel pain. And you know what? That’s fine. Feeling pain makes us human. As does crying. Feeling jealous. Getting frustrated. Just like laughing and smiling and hugging and cuddling and trusting people makes us human, feeling hurt makes us feel human too.

One thing I want to remind you is that I swear man, your worth is so much more than you think it is.

Your VALUE doesn’t decrease because of someone’s inability to see it. NOBODY’s value ever decreases because the people in their life are unable to see and acknowledge it. And I do know that relationships are supposed to be two-way but maybe, just maybe, those people have their own issues too. Their problems. Their breakdowns. And no I’m not writing this to say that your issues are smaller than theirs. Because we all got our own issues. Do you remember how in the past, someone once told you how much you’re worth to them, how much they appreciate your existence? I’m not trying to dig up past memories here, sorry if I do that. But what I’m saying is that IF you were worth anything in your past, then you are worth something today too. And you will always be worth something whether you’re a 6 year old kid or a 12yo kid or a 17 year old guy or a 22 year old guy or a 40 year old man going fishing and having the time of his life. So if you were worth anything years ago, then you’re worth something today. If you weren’t worth anything in the past, then people wouldn’t have invested their time and energy and patience and happiness ON you or WITH you. But see, they fvcking did. They did it because you fvcking deserve it, you deserve it just like every other person out there trying to navigate through life. Shit just happens sometimes.

It’s okay to be struggling and it’s okay to relapse. I’m sorry you had a year full of such crap. I’m sorry you lost friends, but don’t say that that includes me too because haha no that wouldn’t include me. One day you will understand why you had to fight so hard. The bad part is that I don’t know whether that one day will be this year, or next, or after 10 years. I ain’t no prediction person or astrologer. But trust me Tyler, one day you’ll look back and you’ll understand why you had to go through all the shit and pain you had to go through as a youngster. Andd you’re worth every ounce of effort other people put in you.

I just want to request you to try *not* solidifying yourself into loneliness. It’s in those dark times when the demon attacks our mind, steals our life away in front of our eyes and before you know it, all the effort and times you survived are suddenly worth nothing because then we have no one to communicate too. No one to talk to. The thing is that at some point, everyone is going to hurt us, Ty. We just have to find the ones worth suffering for. You maybe haven’t found this person yet, and it’s fine coz I mean you’re just 22 and you have so much more to live for. Unexpected turns and plot twists in life. But I think one way to release the hurt is by releasing people. The ones who truly touched your heart or caused you pain. Sure sometimes we’re unable to forget our past but sometimes we just need to release the burden of holding it in our heart. We might have to release people, events and things that happened in the past. Otherwise we remain stuck, sometimes forever but we can’t always move on without at least releasing something. Or maybe, release yourself. I mean emotionally & mentally, no physical context. You're like a Kintsugi, like so many other people. I wont define it, you can google it to see what I mean.

So I understand it’s hard. Very hard if you’re unwilling to do the following. But please, just please just try to start communicating with all the people in your direct environment. Maybe you will feel that your words don’t make sense but this time it’s *not* about your words, it’s about all the little efforts you put into start communicating with people around you. Now, you don’t need to be fake enough to go around and make jokes to your cousins if you don’t feel like doing that.

But let’s say, your mom/aunt/uncle wants to get the car’s gas filled? Maybe ask them if you can do it for them if they’re busy or have other stuff to do. That way, at least you won’t have an idle mind for destructive thoughts to breed in. Maybe if your cousin is studying a subject which u used to like in school, ask her what topic she’s in.

Where do you usually stay when you exclude yourself to loneliness? Are you in that place right now as u read this? Like RIGHT NOW? Well then, is it possible for you to leave it and maybe go somewhere else? Are people in your house watching TV rn? Excellent, u can try going there and joining them. You don’t need to talk if u dont want to. Just stay there and watch whatever’s on the TV, it’ll help u distract yourself. Maybe go get yourself a cup of water if someone’s in the kitchen. Are they cooking? Maybe u can ask them if they need your help with cooking. Just small random comments.

Then you can start saying longer sentences. You can listen to other people in your house talking about something and if someone makes a joke, then u can laugh. If someone is arguing about something, then innocently ask why they think that way about whatever they’re arguing about.

And one more thing which I think might really help you. I know that you might not have a stable relationship with your mom. But do you love her? Do you love her for giving you everything that you have and for raising you as a strong single mom? Do you, from your heart, hold love for her? If she’s living with you, then try finding a time when she’s alone. Not around people. Then go to her. Knock at the door and ask her if u can come in, because you want to talk about something important. Then go in and tell her to sit on the bed because you want to talk to her. You too sit, with some distance between you and her. Prepare yourself that *whatever* happens, you’re gonna talk to her about your REAL feelings and tell her what you think is going on in your life. Tell her that you want to apologise. You want to apologise for cutting communication with her for so long. Apologise for never telling her your real feelings and for not being open with her. THEN, tell her the reason behind it. Tell her how you actually feel about yourself. Tell her how u hate feeling vulnerable, and how you feel unable to go talk to people. Tell her how you sometimes feel like the words you say don’t make enough sense to other people so THAT’s why you have been excluding yourself from everything. Look into her eyes, not angrily but just expecting her to absorb whatever u say. Tell her that you want to try being open now and you need her help. Tell her that from today, you’ll remind her everyday that you love her and you want to request her to remind you too that she loves you. Tell her that you want to rebuild the mother-son relationship there is between you and her. Tell her that sometimes you might accidentally fall back, and to forgive you for that. Tell her how she herself makes you feel, not angrily but rawly, understandingly. With your true raw feelings, without hiding anything. Be raw, as if you’re just tired of all the crap and now you want to start loving again.

Not just to her, but slowly do it to everyone else in your family, to the ones you *do* love. Can be your cousin, nephew, uncle, aunt, and maybe.. maybe Kailey too? I dont know. And from now on, IF it’s possible for you, try not to shut people out. Especially when they come to you or communicate with u in anyway.

I’m not telling u to smile and be energetic again and full of life. But slowly, try investing time and patience and love in your relationships. Because though my 16-year-old self is quite inexperienced in this stuff, I think talking it out is one of the best ways to slowly solve things out. It’s gonna take time but just try telling your loved ones that you do love them from your heart. It’s gonna take time because it might just turn out to be a nice slow permanent change in life. And if you fail, bother not. You can give yourself some time and then start again.

Btw you don’t need to reply to this too, forreal u don’t need to. Jus maybe give it a like or something so at least I know you’ve seen it, that’s it. Hope I helped, best of luck for the journey