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counterpart - ollie warren

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inspired by @/archbudzar on tiktok

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“Inertia is a strange property of matter. When you leave, for example, the air retains the warmth of your body for a while, the same way the sand keeps the tepid sadness of the sun overnight. When you leave, to continue along the same line, my hands persist in the caress, despite there no longer being skin to caress, only the carcass of memory decomposing in the stairwell. When you leave, you leave behind an invisible you adhering to the smallest things: it might be a hair on the pillow, a look that has gotten entangled with the shoulder straps of desire, a trace of saliva in the corners of the couch, a molecule of tenderness on the shower drain. It is not difficult to find you: love makes me a magnifying glass.”

— Gemma Gorga, poem “39,” Book of Minutes, transl. Sharon Dolin (Oberlin College Press, 2019

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The b-roll from this ep alone is gonna kill me

THE LAST OF US (2023-) S01E06 | “Kin”

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Art by Davood Moghaddami

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“Dear United States of America: You are currently using my 1985 novel The Handmaid’s Tale as the template for your own dystopia and are doing so without my authorization, thereby violating U.S. copyright law. Adopting one or two aspects of The Handmaid’s Tale to rebrand the American Dream would be considered “fair use,” but all of them? Honestly, America, I get a Google alert every time you rip off one of my ideas. My condo strata filed a noise complaint, and Hulu producers banned me from The Handmaid’s Tale season 5 set due to my phone’s incessant pinging. It took me 18 months to write this book and to develop the nightmare world of Gilead, so you’ll understand my dismay at seeing you plagiarize the following key scenarios. Restricting reproductive rights By overturning Roe v. Wade, you have adopted the central dystopian feature of The Handmaid’s Tale, namely, restricting the reproductive rights of women. Did you think I wouldn’t get wind of this? Fox News, Papa John’s app, and even Hobby Lobby’s newsletter all reported the ruling as though it was the brainchild of your Founding Fathers. America, I demand you acknowledge credit by renaming “reverse-vasectomies” as “Atwood-ectomies.” Jan. 6, 2021 coup attempt In The Handmaid’s Tale, the Sons of Jacob instigated a coup d’état against the U.S. government; and on Jan. 6, 2021, your president did the same. Initially, I was flattered that the mob’s red MAGA hats replicated the red of my handmaid’s habits. But when my lawyers informed me that “MAGA” doesn’t mean “Make America Gilead Again,” I felt duped. America, you need to acknowledge credit! At the very least I would have appreciated an invitation to shoot 18 at Mar-a-Lago or a suite at the Trump Hotel in New York City. Culture of surveillance I was sure that Gilead’s surveillance-as-a-form-of-control motif would scare the bejesus out of you. Yet in the past decade, your elected officials and tech-bros have monitored phone and internet records, personal credit histories, and period-tracking apps — and I’ve yet to receive one handwritten thank-you card. When China dialed up their national surveillance efforts, they had the courtesy to acknowledge my work as their inspiration: every Christmas, President Xi Jinping sends me a gift basket of 1,000 steamed dumplings with an open invitation to join him on an electric scooter trip along the Great Wall. He’s probably trying to get in my pants, but at least he’s doing the work. Censorship This may sound catty for mentioning censorship here, as you’ve banned The Handmaid’s Tale in libraries and schools nearly as often as any other book, but censorship is yet another aspect of totalitarian Gilead you’ve purloined as your own. This parallel between your nation and my novel is there for anyone to see (assuming they attend a school whose library allows access to my book). Maybe just once, you could come up with your own f–ked-up strategies for social control. Until then, I demand a national bank holiday named in my honour, but don’t be cheeky and shove my day on Feb. 29. I want Thanksgiving replaced with National Margaret Atwood Gratitude Day. Breakdown of barriers between church and state In the Gilead of my novel, church and state are one, and that’s clearly a model you’re adopting for yourselves. In fact, your Supreme Court is going full-throttle and allowing Christians to fly flags with crosses at Boston City Hall, taxpayers in Maine to fund religious schools, and football coaches in Washington to lead Christian prayers on the field. Had I missed an email request, a Facebook message, or a Snapchat from you to adopt this theme? Even Saudi Arabia and Iran slid into my DMs with their copyright renewal requests. But from you? Nada! Baseline anxiety about everything You nailed this. To show goodwill, I’m giving you this one as a freebie. Conclusion With your $6-trillion annual production budget, you’ve produced a more faithful adaptation of my work than Hulu ever could. Hulu, however, had the decency to ask me to be a consulting producer on The Handmaid’s Tale TV series, and they gave me a cameo in the pilot. You didn’t even offer me a seat on the Supreme Court, a chair on the Senate Ethics Committee, or a spot on Forbes’ “80 Over 80 Favourite Canadians” list. America: what the f–k? Therefore, in addition to the above-mentioned demands, I insist you update the Latin motto on all your coins from E pluribus unum to E atwood unum, and replace the eagle on the Great Seal of the United States with an image of me (please use my 1978 headshot; that was my best hair year). If I do not hear from you within 10 days, I reserve the right to pursue all legal claims that I may have against the U.S., including punitive damages, compensatory damages, and withholding all of Canada’s exports of maple syrup for your pancakes.”

— Margaret Atwood

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Anime of the day: Pride Watch List

Last Pride I did character spotlight; this Pride, I’m kicking it off with a list. Here is a list of some of anime in the LGBT+ category. Is this all of them? No. Is this a large list? Yes, yes it is. 

Yuri on Ice

Junjou Romantica

Sweet Blue Flowers

Revolutionary Girl Utena

Hourou Musuko

 Sekaiichi Hatsukoi 

Sakura Trick

 Love Stage

 Dakaretai Otoko 1-i ni Odosarete Imasu

Kase-san and Morning Glories

Given

Citrus

Doukyuusei

Yuru Yuri

Hitorijime My Hero

Kämpfer

Yagate Kimi ni Naru

Uragiri wa Boku no Namae wo Shitteiru

Strawberry Panic

Ling Qi

Urasekai Picnic

Tonari no Kyuuketsuki-san

Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai: The Clouds Gather

Sasameki Koto

Kono Danshi, Mahou ga Oshigoto Desu

Maria-sama ga Miteru

Kono Danshi, Uchuujin to Tatakaemasu.

Hyperventilation

Dounika Naru Hibi

No. 6

Kono Danshi, Ningyo Hiroimashita

Adachi to Shimamura

Sasaki to Miyano

Akuma no Riddle

Umibe no Étranger

Manaria Friends

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Happy New Year, everybody! I know that Literally no one cares or will read this, but I have to rate and talk about what I’ve read this year and this is my page, so deal with it.

2020 may have been a dumpster fire of a year, but I did read so me pretty good books. I didn’t get to read as many books as I wanted (like always), but that’s life. If you couldn’t tell, I do have a preference for romance novels, and these selections are very... 🌈 and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Here we go:

- Lies we Tell Ourselves by Robin Talley (4/10)

- I think I could write a dissertation about why I have a problem with this book, but I think I can just stop with “a white lady writing an interracial queer romance in the 1960s where the lead white character is literally a racist” should about cover it. Absolutely disappointed.

- Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston (10/10)

- Oh my god does Casey McQuiston know how to write a book. Classic enemies to lovers, my favorite trope. This is my comfort novel that I use as a form of escapism, and probably the reason I didn’t read many new books, as I reread it about five times. It’s my comfort novel, and I come back to it every time I need to feel happy. I’ve made three of my friends read this book, and I recommend it to everyone

- These Witches Don’t Burn by Isabel Sterling (8/10)

- It’s sapphic, it has witches, and it’s adorable; what more could you possibly want? The ending left me wanting more. I was finally able to buy the sequel and I can’t wait to get into it.

- Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan (7/10)

- I think this book is sort of a classic when it comes to gay YA. This was a pretty good book, but it took me awhile to get into it.

- Her Royal Highness by Rachel Hawkins (9/10)

- What did I say about enemies to lovers? HRH was regarded as sapphic Red, White, and Royal Blue, which I think is all you need to know to be interested. This book and short, sweet, and to the point. It’s an easy read (I read it twice, both times in one day). I think there could’ve been some more character building, but it’s so adorable I literally do not care. When I say I want more cute gay romcoms, they should use HRH as the blueprint.

- It’s Not Like It’s a Secret by Misa Sugiura (7/10)

- A cute, interracial sapphic love story where no white people are involved (the main character is Japanese American and her love interest is Mexican American). This coming of age story deals with acceptance, cultural differences, racism, and coming out. I think some of the points it was trying to delve into were too much on the nose at some times, but I really enjoyed this book.

- The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue and The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy by Mackenzi Lee (9/10)

- A fun romp set some time in the 1700s with a chaotic bi as the main lead? Count me in! I read this whole series this year, including the novella (the gentleman’s guide to getting lucky), and I loved every second of it. It’s an adventure series with some romance sprinkled in (a hella slow burn, but definitely worth it). The whole series has gay, bi, lesbian, and ace aro representation, and I was in love the entire time.

- You Should See Me in a Crown by Leah Johnson (8/10)

- The black sapphic book I needed. Liz Lighty decides she wants to leave her hometown and go to college, but after losing the financial aid she was counting on, she remembers the scholarship that prom queen gets every year, and decides to run. Sprinkle in a cute love story, and I’m hooked.

- The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller (10/10)

- I... cannot put into words how this book made me feel. When I finished TSOA, I cried all night trying to recover. Beautifully written, and I still can’t get over Achilles and Patroclus. One of my favorite books this year.

- Sorry Not Sorry by Naya Rivera

- After Naya’s tragic passing in July, I struggled to find her autobiography anywhere. However, I was finally able to get my hands on it, and am so glad that I did. Naya Rivera was just as genuinely funny and carefree as her previous costars have said, and I wish the world could’ve gotten more of her.

Not pictured:

- Of Fire and Stars by Audrey Coulthurst (9/10)

- Sapphic love story about a princess who has been betrothed to a prince from a nearby country her whole life who instead falls in love with his sister. The main character, Denna, also possesses magical powers, which is forbidden in their land. One of my favorite things about this book is that it’s set in medieval times, but no one cares about queer relationships. The only problem with Denna falling in love with the princess is that she’s betrothed to her brother and nothing else. I recently bought the sequel to this book as well, and I’m excited to read it

- The After Series (books 1-2) by Anna Todd (-400/10)

- I was curious about this series because of how terrible the movies are, and needed to read them myself. I apologize to myself every day that I every even wasted my time on these two books. If I ever see Anna Todd, it’s on sight immediately. Not only is the writing terrible, but the romanticization of abusive relationships is absolutely unacceptable. I think I could take less issue with these books if the author wrote them as a “what to look for in men you should never date” rule book, but it isn’t. I could actually write an essay on why these books are more harmful than entertaining and how I genuinely think this series should have never been published. Also, Harry Styles did not deserve this.

I also discovered WEBTOON this year, and here are some of my favorites that I have read:

- Always Human by creator walkingnorth, a finished WLW story which was absolutely beautiful to look at and delightful to read.

- Lore Olympus by creator Rachel Smythe. I don’t think you can find too many people who haven’t heard of this story, but it’s a retelling of the Hades and Persephone mythology, and I adore it.

- Novae by creators KaixJu. A historical, queer and paranormal romance about a necromancer who falls for an astronomer.

- My Lady Artemisia by creator rimarza. This WEBTOON is a little bit newer with fewer episodes, about a knight tasked with guarding the princess, which starts to prove difficult once she starts to gain feelings for the princess, and an impending threat might cause her to past to come to the surface.

Of course, I’ve also spent a lot of my time on A03. I know I’ve read more, but here are the ones I bookmarked and have come back to this year:

- kiss me (if you mean it) by nerdybutpunk

- Carry On fanfic, short but sweet, absolute fluff

- Camp Llwynywermod by bleedingballroomfloor

- Red, White, and Royal Blue AUwhere Henry and Alex are camp counselors. It’s so good and I find myself waiting every wed and sat for the updates.

I read more this year than I have in a long time, and I enjoyed it most of the time. My goal for 2021 is to read at least two books a month and to expand my horizons to something that isn’t YA and isn’t romance. Also to find Anna Todd and tell her off. Hopefully we can accomplish some of that.

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The Ritual (David Bruckner, 2017)

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“if you win you have to kiss dream”

i just had to draw this moment okAY–

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I JUST FOUND A GAY KIDS BOOK ABOUT A PRINCE AND KNIGHT IN LOVE AND IM,,, OBLITERATED

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Reasons I believe my friend is secretly some kind of deity

1) First time we spoke was a week after the beggining of freshman year she summed up my entire character and most of the events of my life Sherlock style. I asked her how the hell she knew all that. She just shrugged and said she figured out our entire class already.

2) The one time we had religion class instead of ethics she listened to the teacher for a few minutes, laughed and told me:

“Humans have wished to be gods so much they’ve forgotten they have to ability to create them. Imagination has truly suffered from this ‘monotheism’ stuff.”

I was confused and asked her if she was an atheist. She rolled her eyes and said:

“Oh I believe in god alright. I just don’t think the bastard deserves to be worshipped.”

3) Out of nowhere she gave me this advice:

“The only truth a liar ever told was that lies weren’t going to save you. Don’t become the liar who has to pass that wisdom on, because they speak from experience.”

4) To this day, she has one of those old-timey phones with buttons she only uses to ocassionally call someone. When I asked her why she never got a smartphone she got pouty:

“I hate social media. On Facebook they talk a lot but never say anything. If I wanted to listen to people moan about their problems and ask for help they don’t expect I’d listen to their prayers.” (Notice the choice of words)

5) I noticed she was stiff and I offered her a massage since I’m really good at it but when i started kneading her back I swear to this day those were not muscles I felt. I asked her what she did to turn her muscles into rocks covered with a thin layer of skin and she kinda froze then shrugged and said she was just really, really stiff. My hands hurt after ten minutes when I can usually go for an hour. Next time I offered she seemed surprised and laughed. She still has rocks for muscles.

6) We were having a debate over the way neural pathways are formed (I study biology and she forensics) and I jokingly asked if I could have her brain for study when she dies. She laughed.

“Sure, if you find a way to kill me you can have it. I’m actually curious what you’re gonna find.”

7) One time she was tired and miserable and I tried to comfort her. We both have really dark sense of humor so I told her she could scare the dead out of their graves with that glare. She told me the dead can’t come back and I rolled my eyes and said 'obviously’ but she continued:

“When you die you descend to the underworld with nothing to lose. To keep you, they give you something to lose. When you want to return, they will demand it back. That’s why nobody ever leaves. The only way out is to never enter.”

8) One day she just came up to me with a disappointed look on her face. When I asked her what was wrong she was quiet for a few seconds and then just told me:

“Betrayals committed in good intentions are still damning. Just… keep that in mind.” Then she left and didn’t speak to me for three days. I still don’t know what she meant but even three years later I haven’t forgotten it.

9) We were casually sitting on a bench when, out of nowhere, she asked me: “Is it just me or have humans gotten dumber? Or have they always been this stupid and I just haven’t been paying attention?”

10) She asked me if I ever wondered what it was like to die. I said no but told her I would tell her when I found out. I meant it as a ghost joke but she smiled at me and said:

“Great. I’ll wait for you to come back. Maybe you’ll even remember me.”

In conclusion, she is some kind of low-key god and she lost her faith in humanity even before we lost our faith in her but she’s stuck with us because immortality is a bitch.

P.S. I just remembered her name is a variation on 'Eve’. Maybe I should reconsider my atheist status?!

UPDATE (Jan 9, 2019): Since people liked this so much I’m making it a thing. All I have about Eve can be found under #god goes to college

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The Last Unicorn (1982) starters.

❛  I dislike the feel of these woods.  ❜

❛  Unicorns? I thought they only existed in fairytales.  ❜

❛  This is a forest like any other. Isn’t it ?  ❜

❛  Let’s turn around. Hunt somewhere else.  ❜

❛  This is no world for you.  ❜

❛  Good luck to you, for you are the last.  ❜

❛  What do men know ?  ❜

❛  We are as old as the sky, old as the moon.  ❜

❛  We can be hunted, we can be trapped, we can even be killed but we do not vanish !  ❜

❛  Have you traveled very far ?  ❜

❛  Be a little respectful, do you know who I am ?  ❜

❛  Your name is a golden bell, hung in my heart.  ❜

❛  I would break my body to pieces to call you once by your name.  ❜

❛  In all your wanderings, have you seen others like me ?  ❜

❛  Have you seen the others? Where have they gone? Tell me which way I must go to find them.  ❜

❛  No, no, listen ! Don’t listen to me, listen !  ❜

❛  You can find the others if you are brave.  ❜

❛  What if they’re waiting for me ? In need of my help ?  ❜

❛  Well hello there little one !  ❜

❛  And just who might you belong to ? a pretty little thing like you ?  ❜

❛  In my heart I carry such a heavy load.  ❜

❛  And here I thought I’d seen the last of them !  ❜

❛  I know you. If I were blind I would know what you are.  ❜

❛  You wouldn’t have heard of me.  ❜

❛  It’s not much of a job for a real magician, but I’ve had worse.  ❜

❛  You’re mine. If you kill me, you’re still mine.  ❜

❛  Your death sits in that cage and she hears you.  ❜

❛  She’ll kill me one day or another, but she will remember forever that I caught her, that I held her prisoner. So there’s my immortality.  ❜

❛  You were out on the road hunting for your own death !  ❜

❛  He’ll not have you ! You belong to me.  ❜

❛  We are two sides of the same magic.  ❜

❛  You are safer here. You should thank me for protecting you.  ❜

❛  There has never been a spell on me before.  ❜

❛  It’s a very rare person who is taken for what he truly is.  ❜

❛  Will you help me ?  ❜

❛  You’re my last chance.  ❜

❛  Can you truly set me free ?  ❜

❛  I asked him a riddle and it always takes that lout all night to solve riddles.  ❜

❛  the spell was wrong but there was true magic in it ! try again.  ❜

❛  My dear you deserve the services of a great wizard but I’m afraid you’ll have to be glad of the aide of a second rate pickpocket.  ❜

❛  Okay, (name), I give up. Why is a raven like a writing desk ?  ❜

❛  She’ll kill you if you set her free !  ❜

❛  Don’t look back, and don’t run.  ❜

❛  You must never run from anything immortal, it attracts their attention.  ❜

❛  She chose her death long ago. It was the fate she wanted.  ❜

❛  You have no regrets as I do ?  ❜

❛  I’ve never seen anyone like you. Not while I was awake, anyway.  ❜

❛  I’m going where they are, to learn whatever they know.  ❜

❛  Take me with you ! for luck, for laughs, for the unknown.  ❜

❛  You could never have granted my true wish.  ❜

❛  I cannot turn you into something you are not.  ❜

❛  Hide yourself ! We’ll find each other later.  ❜

❛  Mind your heads now, it’s raining ninnies !  ❜

❛  Put me down you fool !  ❜

❛  I don’t like the look of him.  ❜

❛  That’s only (name)’s way, but she has a good heart.  ❜

❛  This is not happening.  ❜

❛  We’ll both be gentlemen of leisure in a months time.  ❜

❛  Oh, I love you.  ❜

❛  She shall never have you !  ❜

❛  We will perish together.  ❜

❛  Did you see me ? Were you watching ?  ❜

❛  Did you see what I made ?  ❜

❛  It’s gone now, but I had it !  ❜

❛  Where have you been ? Where have you been ! ?  ❜

❛  Where were you when I was new ?  ❜

❛  How dare you come to me now when I am this !  ❜

❛  It’s alright, I forgive you.  ❜

❛  You can’t come with us ! we’re on a quest !  ❜

❛  Well, you’re going the wrong way.  ❜

❛  You have all the power you need if you dare to look for it.  ❜

❛  What have you done ! ?  ❜

❛  The power will come to me whenever I need it, and one day! One day it will come to me when I call !  ❜

❛  You are an idiot !  ❜

❛  Don’t ! Don’t you hurt yourself !  ❜

❛  I can feel this body dying all around me !  ❜

❛  You are losing my interest, and that is very dangerous.  ❜

❛  I will keep nothing near me that does not make me happy.  ❜

❛  How would you know ?  ❜

❛  Well, just look at you !  ❜

❛  Come on, I’ll write you a reference.  ❜

❛  You have let your doom in by the front door !  ❜

❛  What are you looking at ?  ❜

❛  What is the matter with your eyes ?  ❜

❛  You may come and go as you please.  ❜

❛  My secrets guard themselves, may yours do the same.  ❜

❛  Please, let me help you. What can I do for you ?  ❜

❛  And then she looked at me and I was sorry I had killed the thing.  ❜

❛  For her sake I’ve become a hero but my great deeds mean nothing to her !  ❜

❛  I wish to be whatever she has most need of.  ❜

❛  You are cruel to him.  ❜

❛  He only wishes you to think of him.  ❜

❛  Who am I ? Why am I here ?  ❜

❛  I knew a moment ago, but I have forgotten.  ❜

❛  I was innocent and wise and full of pain.  ❜

❛  Now that I’m a woman, everything has changed.  ❜

❛  Why won’t you help me ? Why must you always speak in riddles ?  ❜

❛  I would tell you what you want to know if I could.  ❜

❛  I am always dreaming, even when I am awake. It is never finished.  ❜

❛  I would court you with more grace if I knew how.  ❜

❛  Drown out my dreams. Keep me from remembering whatever wants me to remember it.  ❜

❛  Words are always getting in my way.  ❜

❛  That’s all I have to tell you. That’s all I’ve got to say.  ❜

❛  I’m not a man of poetry. Music isn’t one with me.  ❜

❛  As if I didn’t have enough troubles.  ❜

❛  Well of course you’re of noble birth, anyone could see that.  ❜

❛  Love is slowing you down, my lady.  ❜

❛  It was pleasant enough at first, but it died quickly.  ❜

❛  There is nothing of yours that I desire.  ❜

❛  There is no movement of yours that has not betrayed you.  ❜

❛  I like to watch them. They fill me with joy.  ❜

❛  The first time I felt it, I thought I was going to die.  ❜

❛  Do you dare still pretend to be human ?  ❜

❛  It makes no difference. The end will be the same. I can wait.  ❜

❛  Shut up you pretentious kneecap !  ❜

❛  How would you like a punch in the eye ?  ❜

❛  It’s so nice to have someone to play with.  ❜

❛  Try me tomorrow. Maybe I’ll tell you tomorrow.  ❜

❛  Give it to me if you don’t want it but don’t throw it away !  ❜

❛  Give me the wine !  ❜

❛  You would have gone without me ?  ❜

❛  No name you could give her would surprise or frighten me.  ❜

❛  I love whom I love.  ❜

❛  I will go no further.  ❜

❛  Everything dies. I want to die when you die.  ❜

❛  Yes, that is my wish.  ❜

❛  I am a hero, and heroes know that things must happen when it is time for them to happen.  ❜

❛  A quest may not simply be abandoned.  ❜

❛  A happy ending cannot come in the middle of the story.  ❜

❛  What if there isn’t a happy ending at all ?  ❜

❛  There are no happy endings, because nothing ends.  ❜

❛  Do something ! You have the power ! I will kill you if you don’t do something !  ❜

❛  That’s what heroes are for.  ❜

❛  I’ve never had any friends before.  ❜

❛  Men don’t always know when they’re happy.  ❜

❛  I’m sorry. I have done you evil and I cannot undo it.  ❜

❛  No sorrow will live in me as long as that joy.  ❜

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Camille’s TOP 15 Niche Animated films that were beautiful or told a potent story to me

1) The Last Unicorn

2) The Prince of Egypt

3) Persepolis

4) Any Studio Ghibli film

5) The Secret of Kells

6) The Thief and the Cobbler

7) A great number of old school soviet fantasy films (Snezhay Koroleva, the Humpbacked Horse)

8) A Monster In Paris

9) Wolf Children

10) The Secret of NIMH

11) The Iron Giant

12) Cats Don’t Dance

13) Loving Vincent

14) Heavy Metal

15) Fantastic Mr Fox

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ikea released introductions on how to build different furniture forts

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My favorite underrated DNF moments (1/?)

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save me