#starting shit over our home...so i guess I shouldn't be surprised by this shit she pulled.

[alicepao13]

Hudson and Rex S03E08 - Sleeping Beauty

Okay episode which gets good with character interactions. In fact, I don't really get bored with S3 up until the end where they put some lackluster episodes.

You see one kid being mean to the other, then a minute later you cut to an interaction between parents and you realize why.

These parents are awful.

Charlie: "You have never seen a fairytale before?" Sarah: "I have, except I find them all insufferably sexist". Charlie: "Well, they offer historical context". Do they? Because I don't remember dragons in my history books. Anyway, I'm with Sarah on this one and luckily I didn't grow up with them.

It is interesting, however, that Charlie seems to know quite a bit about these things. I distinctly remember no boy would ever be convinced to sit down and watch these movies.

Sweet potato jerky? Why does that sound so tasty? It's a dog treat.

This is just an excuse to get Sarah home.

"Your new place, which I see for the first time ever, is really incredible!"

Have I mentioned yet on this rewatch that Charlie must be taking kickbacks to be able to afford a house like that? No?

"Kids are loud". Water is wet.

Too cute.

"I guess they're alright". Make up your mind. More importantly, isn't there ample space on the couch next to Charlie for Sarah to sit? What's she doing over there?

Jesse calls from work, Joe is also over there, NO ONE is surprised that Sarah is at home with Charlie and Rex.

See? Instead of reacting to Jesse's antics, react to the fact that your detective and your head of forensics (your? I have no clue) are playing house instead of being anywhere near the precinct.

"Rex is a detection dog. His alerts establish reasonable suspicion to search". Well, thank you, Sarah. Charlie never actually explained it. I wonder if this actually holds up.

I can actually imagine the writers at the start of the season trying to come up with a reasonable excuse for those searches based on Rex's nose. At some point, they might have even opened a law book. I don't think that it would hold up in court to say that a police dog smelled illegal substances and rule based on that but it might give probably cause for a search. All this changes depending on where one lives, though. And if they find something, well, then you have your proof right there. The whole gist of it is to make sure the search is legal so you don't jeopardize the entire case.

"The dog ruined my favorite pants". Maybe you shouldn't have run?

"He's trying to hypnotize me. You're all witnesses."

"So Rick is not the owner of our... glass slipper". I think Sarah is about to whack you with the case file.

Sarah: "Where do you think of starting?" *Rex barks* Charlie: "Yeah, I was thinking the same thing, too, partner". Guys...

Why do I think this was taken from when they're looking for the stepmom in the end of the episode? He looks too serious and very much in a hurry, which is not something that he is supposed to be in the current drive.

"I can assure you there are no drugs in this house". Charlie literally has a drug sniffing dog with him, how do you think he's not going to find anything?

I think the lady's excuse that she's going through a brutal divorce actually did get a bit of a reaction from Charlie. Not that he'd give her the drugs back, of course.

Dad-influencer. I hate this age.

"What was your babysitter doing in the back of your truck?" I can't believe there was a logical explanation for this other than "We were having sex".

"You don't think it's possible to have a platonic relationship with an attractive woman?" Wise move not to answer that.

I'd definitely like to ask the Hudson and Rex production where they get their car brand covers because in greek tv productions their look like shit.

"Everyone I know drives this car". This is a 50K Mercedes. Where are we?

I did not have sexual relations with Stacey Nielsen". Okay, who put that in there? I can't listen to it without laughing.

Sad that it wasn't some kind of threesome. She was just carrying their child.

The production getting their money's worth out of the new house.

"She made this for me. It's some sort of woman with... one, two, three, four... seven kids?" "These are dwarfs" lmao

Snow White was in witness protection? Maybe in the next Disney installment.

Sarah: "You don't need a prince for a happily ever after". Get that man, Sarah. Do you have any idea how many men would protest that statement?

Joe: "Nice of you to join us this morning". Don't do this, Joe, we keep trying to extricate him out of the office, let him be late for once!

Charlie: "Rex took forever to get out of the house this morning. Rex: "Don't you dare sully my good reputation!" Charlie: "Okay. I took forever to get out of the house this morning". I love their suspicious looks and also, I WANT TO KNOW! What happened? What are they hiding from us? WHAT??? What did you cut out?

"Need I remind you, Charlie, that warrant-less collection of DNA is not admissible in court?" Maybe. I mean, we sometimes base an entire case off of it.

Seriously, why is he so chipper?

Sarah: "Stacey's not the mother". Joe: "I'm sorry, what the what?" Charlie: "Yeah, what Joe said". You can tell Sarah loves delivering such news.

Again with the looks.

I believe that a person having a perfectly good womb should be able to use that womb however they see fit, including getting paid to carry the baby of a couple that for whatever reason can't or won't do that. The law's intent should not be to police people's wombs but to make sure that children shouldn't be born and grown to be taken advantage of. So it should be legal in cases of parents who want to have a child, and illegal if for example one was to gather fifty women and grow children through surrogacy to take advantage of them (not the only example, just one I thought of). Taking advantage of your body's ability to carry children for monetary gain so that they can be ultimately raised in a proper family that wants them is not the same as taking advantage of children.

"I had a glass of wine at lunch." "Was it served in a salad bowl?" Burn!

Why would you bring the kid to the place her stepmom might commit suicide?

Rex to the rescue once again. I think I've seen this on Kommissar Rex too.

Big damn hero.

"What a needless tragedy this all was". I've seen so many certifiably stupid deaths on crime shows, this doesn't even rank at the top 20.

Suspiciously big enough space for Rex to jump onto. But looks weird before that. Also, thanks for squashing by beer/wine theory like a couple episodes later. I am now thinking that the wine goes with the couch lol

"I think you'd make a great mom." "You're a great dad. To your fur baby over here." "What do you think, pal, you like being my fur baby?" Rex's growl sounds like he wants to bite anyone who says the word fur baby again. Maybe that's just me, though.

It's a good thing Sarah has an alternative plan to motherhood because I can see the future and I suspect it will take a long time.

Again, the case didn't grab me. But they spent sufficient time outside of the office and mostly in Charlie's new house that we just saw for the first time that I didn't mind.

[darkboysroadtrip]

Ok ok ok ok ok Logan. WHAT IS THE LORE???

Logan looks directly in the librarians eyes, "as ineloquent as that was stated - I do agree - what is the 'lore'?"

She lets out a little laugh, "let's go somewhere a little quieter, I have a lot to tell you Logan."

"Very well" he follows her to a back room, it looks like an employee break room, there's only one other person in there.

"Hey Jerry, can you get back to work" she says when they walk in.

Jerry looks up very slowly from his phone, "but I'm on break."

"You've been on break for an hour and a half."

"Oh shit dude, really?"

"Yes, get the hell out of here."

Jerry gets up and salutes, "yes sir boss ma'am" and he leaves.

"And when I say get out of here I mean back to work not go home" she says to his retreating form.

She closes the door and locks it, "there, we shouldn't be bothered now."

She gestures to the table in the middle of the room, "would you like some tea? I also have coffee, water, juice..."

"Tea, thank you" Logan replies and sits down, he links his fingers together and waits.

The librarian shuffles about getting the kettle going and when it just needs to be waited on she sits with Logan.

"I haven't told you my name yet, I'm so frazzled about seeing you again" she smiles at him warmly, "I'm Annie, I'm... I was your mother's best friend and your god mother."

The kettle clicks and Annie gets up to pour the teas.

She gives Logan his mug, he puts in two sugars, no milk.

Annie smiles at him again, "that's how Antha made her tea."

Logan also smiles at that, "if you're my god mother, why didn't you get custody of me?"

Annie shakes her head, there's a tinge of anger in her tone when she speaks, "those bastards wouldn't let me."

"Is that legally sound?"

"Considering it was in Melody's will, no. But small town cops have their grubby little fingers in everyone around here so there was no will to find."

"Troubling" Logan murmurs.

"Terribly, but I guess I should start from the beginning."

"Please do."

"It all started with Antha - oh sorry Antha is your grandmother."

"I know."

"How do you know of Antha?"

"I know her."

Annie narrows her eyes with confusion, "we'll... come back to that."

Logan shrugs, "you may not believe me if I tell you."

"Even so" Annie says and continues her own story, "it started with Antha's murder."

Annie was probably expecting a reaction from Logan but when she got none at her pause she just continues.

"I was the only one who trusted Melody about what happened, everyone thought she was just distraught, her aunt told everyone that Antha ran away that night" Annie scoffs, "as if Antha would ever do such a thing, she loved Melody more than anything!

"But we were both still so young, and we didn't really know what to do about it, the cops especially didn't believe a word Melody said, so we took it into our own hands.

"We couldn't get down the well where she was pushed in, it was already boarded up and Melody was being moved into her aunts place, where she barely had any freedoms.

"When we got a little bit older and Melody was more sure in herself to stand up to her aunt we went looking for someone to help us out, someone who said he had legal knowledge and was able to bring Antha's death to justice.

"He was a liar" Annie spits out with so much venom Logan recoils slightly.

"He tricked poor Melody with sweet words and false claims" she continues, "she eventually fell for that wretched man, but that's what he wanted all along.

"And then" she looks up at Logan, "you were conceived, you were a big surprise to all of us and Melody was over the moon, your father was not, but in his words: he 'let Melody keep you'.

"It was so very clearly to keep her in his clutches but then two years go by with no progress and Melody started to get suspicious and started listening to me about him."

Annie looks up at Logan, there's hurt etched on her face, "I hate to say it, but you look a lot like him, sure you've got warmer skin than him and her freckles and eyes. But, everything else..."

Logan chokes back his reply at that, he is slightly angry that he looks like someone who sounds so horrible.

"Anyway, when you were around two, Melody's aunt died, and that made Melody angry, she wasn't able to bring her to justice.

"She confronted him that night, he of course tried to gaslight her the whole way but we were having none of it... it quickly got out of hand."

Annie shudders in a breath and Logan grabs her trembling hands.

"I tried to stop him as he beat her to death" she says quietly, "but he whacked me down and I hit my head and passed out, he must have thought I was dead too cause I woke up hours later in a bloody room with my dead best friend.

"At least the cops believed this one, but it was hard not to, especially since no one in town liked the prick."

Logan is shaking slightly now too but decides that right now he can deal with this news, "that doesn't explain why I was sent to an orphanage who knows how far from here."

Annie nods, "yeah, like I said: the cops destroyed Melody's will, they took you into custody, changed your last name and brought you somewhere no one would know who you are."

"But why?" Logan asks.

"They're all cowards, I would like to give you some big exciting conspiracy but the truth is, they just didn't want any of this to stain the reputation of the town and their own egos."

"But, you're here, you know the truth of everything that has happened."

Annie nods sadly, "yeah and they all ignore me."

"Why don't you leave?"

"It's not so easy" Annie sighs, "this is all I've ever known."

[Annie is open for questions for the duration that they're in the library.]

[lockhartandlych]

three weeks.

that's how long my uncle has been working on his song. he just moved in. long story, but he and his girlfriend would've been homeless otherwise.

my birthday came and went recently. he said he'd make me a song. music and beats were emanating from his room for days. he's been drunk. talkative. i've been staying away. he's a lot, and he'll trap you in conversations for hours. i don't want to say that i don't like him. i don't want my parents to kick them out just because of my preferences.

but i don't like him. it almost feels liberating to say it, even if it is just on here.

three weeks.

he handed it to me. he was drunk. he was saying it was horrible. he was saying it was great. it perplexed me, but mom said we all do it, when we're anxious. she was right.

that's not stopping me from thinking it was strange. i dont know if i wish it did.

a couple hours later, im listening to it. about four minutes. it's... good. not perfect, but it never is. it's good, though. more than i thought it would be, given how he deprecated it. given how mom told me, no matter what, to tell him it was good.

breakcore. my favorite.

three weeks.

four minutes.

why did he spend three weeks on this? why was he so anxious about it? i understand, deep down. it's the same reason why i spend a week agonizing over a hundred words. it's the same reason why i spend hours on a doodle.

but why drink?

why rant until dawn?

why make my parents worried? the people i love?

getting to the end. it's nice. it's pleasant, in its own way. as breakcore is.

a clip intersperses with the music. a child crying. someone shouting.

"you gotta get your shit together!"

the song ends.

...what?

the song was for me. was that about me?

no, i tell myself. it's art. it's just art. wild and messy. it's his way of saying i love you.

"you gotta get your shit together." his way of saying i love you.

he doesn't say that, ever. he constantly praises me. he talks me up like my existence changed his life. it's just what people do about those they love. those they meet. my teachers did it, my family does it, my sister's friend's mother does it. i guess im good at putting on a show. but i can't possibly be as great as they all say. if i ever let myself believe that i know i'd be a narcissist. i want to. but i can't. it's exhausting. the praise is exhausting.

"you gotta get your shit together." coming from the man who almost drove my mother to tears because he wouldn't stop ranting about how happy i made him, even after hours.

im messed up. i take classes from home to get my ged and barely leave my room. i take showers once a week and tidy up even less. i stay up all night. my schedule's fucked. im messed up.

but... is this song about me at all? he said it was. i thought it was. i shouldn't be surprised though, that it isn't. it's art. it's his. art is always about the self. about the man who drinks and has to have his girlfriend shepherd him away. about the man who almost ended up homeless when our own family's money ran dry keeping him up in a hotel, about a man who believed that tuning forks would cure my dysphoria and that vibrations were the collective soul of humanity.

about the man who had to deal with the fallout of my grandfather's abuse for his whole life, up until the day he died.

"you gotta get your shit together."

it was never about me, this song. it was about you. why give it to me? why let me in on your suffering? is this an act of love? is this a cry for help?

"you gotta get your shit together."

i am getting my shit together. im taking classes. im starting to take my meds again. my room's not littered with shit like the rest of the house. i have plants that i've somehow kept alive.

"you gotta get your shit together."

im not sure what's worse, it being about me or it being about him. i dont want it to be either but i know it's one of them.

it's just a line. it's just a fucking line. why is it making me write all of this if it's just a single line?

"you gotta get your shit together."

maybe it's cutting like this because i do have to get my shit together. maybe if i write it enough i will.

"you gotta get your shit together."

it was never about me. it was always about you. your so-called healing as you sucked my family's funds dry, your tuning forks, your songs, your rants until dawn.

im prone to narcissism. it's hard to pinpoint why. maybe it's because my self-esteem is so low it loops right back around like a computer integer. maybe it's because everyone keeps making the mistake of hyping me up all the time. maybe it's because i crave attention. maybe it's because i've always had to give it.

but maybe... just maybe...

maybe it's because i got it from you.

[shadow-laviko]

Sorry to the person who just followed me and who will see me vent as a first post on their dash lmao

Anyway

Me, telling my mother that I don't really have memories of her and my dad, so, when they'll die, I'll be sad that they died, but, well, I won't remember much about them (because I don't have a great memory + I don't really have much memories of me doing fun things with them, because we barely ever did familly things, and the few things we did, well, I don't remember much because it wasn't like waouh super amazing, super duper cool and all)

My mother : Omg, so you don't care if we die!

Me : What the absolute fuck?? I've never said that??????

My mother : You won’t care when we will be dead!

Me : ???????????

My mother, starting to get angry at me and giving examples that I don't remember (one of them being her dealing with my bullies... But, like, first, that's supposed to be your role as a parent to help me with those kinds of things, so why should I praise you or remember you for doing the bare minimum as a parent ? And second, well, given it was bullying, there's a non 0 chance that my brain actively made me forget all of it, so, again, sorry that I forgot?)

And, like, she cited other things too, and, yeah, they were cool things they did for me that probably not a lot of parents would do for their kids (like coming to a 4h drive to pick me up at a friend's house), but, that's cool, really cool, but that's not something worthy of memorising more than "Yeah, it was nice, thank you for doing that"??? Because, why would I fucking memorising a long and boring 4h drive?? I remembered the gesture, that's already enough, no?

Well, guess not

(+ (I didn't tell her or I would have been fucking gone lmao) I remember her more for terrible things she did or said (Like telling me to go jump off a bridge because I wanted to quit a job that had me wake up at 5 and come back home at 6-7pm so exhausted that I went directly to sleep without eating, while crying every morning while getting ready because of how hard it was :) ))

Also, she was surprised that I (our generation?) Do not want to talk to her or my dad when I feel bad

But like, 1, I don't want to talk about it with them, just because... I don't know, I just don't. And 2, because I've got used to being said I was basically crying and feeling sad over things that I shouldn't have been sad about. So why would I want to tell them just to hear them say "Lmao, you're sad about that? You don't know anything about life lololol"?

Also, not her saying "I can't even count on you" to listen to her when she feels sad and all. Well, 1, sorry but if you don't tell me you're sad, and you don't show it, I can't guess. 2, again, if I'm being mocked by you because things that make me feel bad are not "bad enough", why would I care about you being sad? 3, I'm not your fucking psychologist. Talk to your husband (dad) about it. Feel like he doesn't listen? Well sorry but that's not my problem. That's also not my problem you don't have any friends to hent it to

Not that it would change shit anyway, since you said you wouldn't tell your friends (if you had any) when you feel down

Ahhhh

I don't like her. I really don't. Of course I would be fucking sad if she died. But honestly? I'd be kinda relieved too...

[despair-to-future-arcs]

Aaaaand, Hitoshi the Giga Chad strikes again!

H-How dare you! I'm none of those things and I won't let you talk to me about how I teach unless you aren't worried about your daughter's future?!

For what? Just saying how it is...? Because from what I heard, you ask me to come because my daughter helped a student tie a kimono - y'know... some basic human decency which sounds like you have none of it, huh?

But hey, I suppose given how your some Ultimate and clearly think of herself as better then everyone.

Plus if you've taken such an issue with my daughter helping one of her classmates with her kimono; which is really damn hard to tie then maybe you should help that student teach them;

But yet again I wouldn't be too surprise if you don't know how to tie them, huh? Also given how this school values talent here, maybe you shouldn't kick out my kid since she's a pretty damn good photographer, so maybe be careful with how you say stuff there.

...

Wow,...

So are we done here now? I think me and Mahiru are gonna head off, see ya...*wheels himself out and leaves the classroom*

...

Well... seems my dad is done for today, I guess that's all...

Unless something actually important comes up then please don't ask my parents to come, goodbye.

*Mahiru leaves the classroom and rushes over to her dad*

Dad, what the heck?! I can't believe you say all that to her!

Yeah...?

You realize that she could kick me out based on what you just say?!

What? You mean telling her that she brought me here, wasted our time all because you were helping a fellow students with their kimono?

I've seen people get expelled for way worse then that and honestly that lady is full of shit and likely only got the job to feel superior, hell I wouldn't be surprise if she's some sociopath.

I mean, yes but still she is my teacher...

Well she's a pretty shitty teacher if you ask me and you shouldn't listen to her.

The teachers barely give 2 shits about their students so why should you care what she thinks?

I...guess your right, probably we should head home...

Man, I guess inviting you instead of mom was the right choice after all, huh?

Think nothing of it, besides I think your mom would say the same thing as well but at least we got that sorted out.

Anyways, let's get going then, hm? I do want to get dinner started then.

Right yeah, hopefully it's just you cooking instead of me... (I really should thank Hatomi the next time I see her...)

*Mahiru and Hitoshi go together and head home...*

'Hatomi... she really did care a lot about me and honestly, I couldn't thank her enough...'

[doomdays]

henry scoffs, quick to wave his hand in front of himself, as if desmond is wrong and it's no big deal. but his inevitable smile betrays him, slowly forming at the corner of his lips as he lets out a small laugh. ❝  guess i have to, huh? you've known me for so long. ❞ longer than anyone now that his mother has passed, and whether or not they've spent these years spending the time with each other, it still matters. it will always matter to him, no matter where desmond ends up, no matter how far they inevitably drift apart. childhood friendships seem to weigh a lot more when losing the people in your life happens so often. ❝  can't get rid of me now, ❞ he teases.

he's quick to shake his head, because they were just kids, and they didn't know what all of that would really mean to them in the long run, but henry's glad that they can look back on it fondly now ( no matter how much it hurts, too. ) ❝  we w--- ❞ he cuts himself off to correct himself. ❝  we are family, man. and we always will be. our folks, they may not be here anymore, but they'd like knowin' we still got each other, i think. ❞ his mother often asked about desmond, wondering when the last time they caught up was. maybe she saw them drifting, maybe it was her way of trying to encourage him to try harder with him. maybe she knew that someday, desmond would be exactly what he needed again, and as they inch closer to his childhood home, he knows that's true.     

he feels starts to feel guilty, mentioning his mother like this, but it feels important, too. henry never forgot her, and he always missed the way she treated him as a kid, the way she continued to treat him when he had a kid of his own. she's the kind of person sam would have benefited knowing the same way henry was as a kid. desmond's mother is gone, but she'll always be a part of them, the same way henry's father and mother live on through him.

❝  really? ❞ he shouldn't be surprised, but it makes him smile, knowing that his mother talked about it -- even if henry had been so hesitant to open up to others while he was just trying to figure things out himself, too stubborn to believe he could truly rely on anyone else's help. ❝  yeah, she-- damn, she was real nice to have around. my ma, she woulda wanted that. feels like i took her for granted, all the help she tried to give me. i was just so damn bad at accepting it from anyone, ❞ he admits. and he still is, but sam is starting to get older now, and henry's trying to be a little less overbearing.

henry looks back over to him, and he can hear the guilt in his voice, a frown forming on his own features. ❝  can't fault yourself for that, man. not now. ❞ not when he can't change the past or how much time he did spend with her. ❝  you just gotta know that you were there for her when ya could be. and you did. you did take care of her. she knew it, ❞ he insists. his jaw clenches as he thinks it over, nodding his head because he knows all too well how difficult it is to connect these days ( every time he gets close, he pulls himself back, too focused on the kid. ) ❝ you think you just don't know how anymore? ❞ he holds his hand up immediately, not wanting it to be taken incorrectly. ❝  i mean, y'know, guess that's how i feel sometimes. yeah, 'cause, i'm not spending a lotta my time talkin' to anyone my age. shit, being out here with you is the first time i think i've talked to an adult in weeks, ❞ he says, letting out an empty laugh. ❝  guess we gotta find a balance sometime, huh? ❞ and henry will be here for him when he's ready to do that, too.      

with his hand gripping his knife tightly, henry gives him a small nod, his eyes directed to desmond more than they are what's ahead. he's not sure he's ready for this, but it's what he came for. it's been nearly 20 years. he has to be ready for it sometime.

his steps are careful as he follows desmond into the house, eyes still focused on the back of his head, until he finally allows himself to look around --- wallpaper faded, not as vibrant as he remembers, everything misplaced either from how they left in a panic or from whoever else had found their way through in the mean time. his shoulders slump, boots dragging lightly across the floor as he lets out a small scoff. ❝  wishful thinking it might still smell like my ma's famous pie, huh? ❞ he mumbles, bringing his hand up, absentmindedly leveling a frame on the wall ( a photo of himself, in his soccer uniform, smiling proudly with a missing tooth --- but not a photo he's looking for. )

❝  gotta admit, it's pretty fucking weird being here. ❞ he's trying to deflect, but it's clear in the way his voice lightly shakes that it's a bit difficult. ❝  thought i forgot what it looked like. guess i didn't. not all of it. ❞ he steps through the doorway of the living room, glancing around for a moment -- a reminder that sam will never get to know what it's like to have a home like this. it wasn't that big, but it was just right for the three of them. his eyes land on a family photo, henry on his father's lap with his thumbs up, his mother's hand against his shoulder. he doesn't remember the day, memories he took for granted, he knows now. his parents' wedding photo is next to it, his hand reaching for that one first as he glances up to desmond's direction. ❝  we didn't take any photos with us, ❞ he notes, mostly just speaking out loud. ❝  did you? ❞ the question he really wants to ask --- does he have a photo of his mother?

“because you love me,” desmond replies, not missing a beat, and it surprises him: how quickly the words come. but the truth in it — for him, at least — is less shocking: of course he loves henry still. he's changed, but that hasn't; the bond they formed on this street, though tenuous, still binds them. being out here with henry has made desmond realize how much he's missed a connection like this: something deeper, beyond work, that doesn't carry the weight of artificial smiles and performative niceties. right now, he's free from the image he's crafted of himself, a feigned charm to ensure repeated business — something that, admittedly, he's not quite good at. but it feels natural with henry.

and the past isn't so hard to think about with him. it still hurts; the loss of his mother is still so raw, and despite the wear of the world, how everything is overgrown and wild, desmond sees her out here. it's a strange mix of comforting and distressing. henry helps that balance.

there's relief evident in his eyes at henry's response. desmond inclines his head in silent acknowledgement, glad to be able to put these feelings into words; the older he gets, the harder it is to recall certain aspects of their shared childhood, but henry's father is difficult to forget. desmond matches henry's smile, clicks his tongue against his teeth. he kicks at a chunk of brick, sun-bleached, scattering it to dust across the cracked asphalt.

“yeah... i don't think i thought about it too much back then. you know?” he squints in contemplation. “it really just felt — natural. but as i've gotten older... i dunno. i think i felt a little guilty for a while. i thought maybe i... encroached a little. i worried you'd think i was outta line, thinkin' of him like that.” now, he can see how ridiculous the notion is. because henry's right: they'd been like a family. (they still are, or, at least, he wants them to be. desmond makes a quiet promise to himself to not allow the distance between them to grow so great again. they can never be what they were when they were children — but they can be something.)

though the mention of his own mother seems only natural, given desmond's talk of henry's father, it still takes his breath. he inhales, his breath a shard of glass, a slight spasm in his cheek before features shift into something near-expressionless; he stays like that momentarily, quiet, and then he manages to shift his glance to henry, chewing on his lower lip.

“yeah. she would tell me about it.” even as her health worsened, and desmond chided her for worrying about anyone but herself... but the genuine issue he'd had had been that it wasn't him. that every day, he said he'd pick up the burden from his mother, and every day, he put it off.

desmond can't bring himself to say that to henry.

“—i worked too damn much,” he says. it serves as enough of an answer and something akin to voicing the guilt he harbors. desmond laughs ruefully. “i told myself it was to take care of her, but all it did was keep me from her, y'know? and i'm still doin' it. i don't even know why. i mean, i enjoy getting out... but it just don't give me a lot of time to...” connect. he trails into silence, unwilling to complete the sentence, though he's not certain why.

he clears his throat, opting to utilize the arrival at their destination as an exit for the conversation, glancing idly to ensure henry's armed before desmond slips in front of him, taking point; over his shoulder, he whispers, “keep a few steps behind me, all right?” it's not patronizing; he doesn't say it because he believes henry can't handle himself. it's said to give him space.

desmond's steps are quiet and careful against the rotting wood of the porch; there's the occasional glance backward until he settles against the doorframe, and, after a beat, he presses the handle of his blade against the door — it's already ajar, a swath of darkness that he slowly expands. silence spills out. he doesn't look to henry again before stepping inside, sweeping his gaze around, alert to any signs of infected —

his shoulders drop in relief. there's a rotting smell, but a natural one: decades-old furniture, slowly decaying. he switches the light clipped to his pack's strap on, the beam cutting through a dusty haze, and then, with a slight cough, he calls out: “i think we're good.” @doomdays

[softsebnbuckystan]

Soul ties - Part 6 (Bucky Barnes au)

"Hold, hold on, hold onto me

'Cause I'm a little unsteady"

Word count : 2061

Sleep didn't seem to come to you that night, and you didn't know whether the reason was the pizza you'd had for dinner, your husband's obvious neglect or your supposed soulmate sleeping in the same building. After tossing and turning in your bed for over three hours, you grabbed a pillow and a plaid, put on your slippers and went into the main kitchen. A herbal tea under the stars should  be a good way to help you sleep, right? You tried to stay as silent as you  could despite the boiling water in the kettle – you always refused to microwave water – and picked some chamomile infusion Wanda had chosen. With your cup in one  hand, you opened the picture window. One thing you liked about the compound was the few balconies it had : they weren't too big, but they were large enough for you to sit on a pillow and look at the stars, your back against the wall. You were once again trying to spot constellations,  the August sky being perfect for this kind of exercise.

"Can't sleep?"

You almost spilled your tea on your plaid.

"Sorry I scared you."

You smiled weakly at the man who'd just joined you. "It's fine. Wanna sit here with a fellow insomniac?"

Bucky ran a hand through his hair before sitting on your left. His right arm brushed against your exposed skin and you tried to hide your shivers.

"What's keeping you up?" You ask. "I mean,  you obviously don't have to tell me."

"Nothing much. Some nightmares."

"Are they ones about...about the war?"  Your question startled him ; he shot you a  confused look as you lowered yours. "Sorry. Steve told me a few times about his best friend Bucky and I... I made the connection."

"I thought Steve avoided talking about those things."

"What? The way he lost you?"

"Yeah."

"Sorry, that was tactless."

"Don't worry about that." He looked at the sky, leaning his head against the wall. "Wanna tell me what's keeping you up?"

"Well, it's quite ridiculous really," you eluded.

"Steve told me why you're spending time here. Is it him that keeps you up at night?"

You sipped on your tea for a few seconds. "I guess so. It's just that I keep thinking about what I'm doing wrong, you know? I must be doing something wrong."

You heard him take a breath, his shoulders raising with his chest. His arm against yours felt strange, in a good kind of way. You'd never felt so close to anyone in such a short amount  of time, and you wondered what made him so special aside from the meaningful tattoo you shared.

"I don't think you're to blame. Can I be honest?"

"Sure."

"I'm sorry if I seem out of place, because we only met a week ago but..."

"You feel like I get you, right? Just  like I feel that you get me."

He nodded calmly. "He doesn't seem to realise who he was lucky enough to marry."

"Lucky, huh?"

You looked at him with a smile and had it not been so dark, you could've sworn a red tint had reached his cheeks. "You're hella smart," he explained. "And from what I've seen, you're kind."

"And you think that after two days with me?"

He shrugged and allowed himself a quiet laugh. "You let Sam get the last piece of pizza earlier. I would have never done that."

"True. That is my most selfless act ever." Jumping on his joke felt natural and as it turned out, he had a communicative laugh.

"Why  don't you laugh more often? I like it."

Bucky looked you  in the eyes, paralysing you with his blue pupils again. It seemed as if he was searching for what to say.

"There aren't a lot of things that make me laugh. You do, though."  This one didn't sound like a joke, and you placed your hand on his forearm, instantly sending a funny feeling down to your stomach.

"Consider me flattered," you said. "Can I ask you a question? Don't feel like you're forced to answer, though."

"Sure."

"I'm just curious, working in biochem and stuff... I'm basically the school nurse for theses guys," you explained. "So how does it feel, the metal arm? Do you...feel things the way you do with your right arm?"

He stopped for a moment. "I did not expect that question. That's a good surprise." He raised his left hand in front of him. "It's weird, actually. This one is really advanced. Shuri did an amazing job with it, but... sometimes I'll touch something and think I feel something. I know it's my brain playing tricks on me, but it's not that sentient. I feel pressure, tension...but not actual human sensations." He let his hand fall down on his knees.

"Do you miss it?"

"I got used to it. But yeah."

"Okay, close your eyes."

"What?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Y/n, we met last week."

"I know! But like, it's not a 'do you trust me with your life' situation. Think of it as 'do you trust me with basic skills' kind of thing." You chuckled. "Now close your eyes."

Bucky gave in and you gently grabbed his metal hand. "What do you feel now?" you asked,  stroking the back of his hand.

"I know there's something on my hand. And I know it's harmless. But...nothing more, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's part of you."

"And you don't mind that?"

"Why would I?" you shrugged. "It's you."

"Even if I were to do this?" He slowly raised his hand, approaching your face. You let him place his hand on your cheek. It didn't feel like flesh and bone, but it still felt right.

"Yes, even then." You held up his gaze, searching those blue eyes for any sign. Signs of what exactly, you didn't know yet. All you wanted was to stare into them forever, never leave this state of mind.

When Bucky's hand fell down your shoulder and kept running down your arm,  a thousand shivers ran down your spine. You couldn't – shouldn't – feel this way. You were married now, and doing this... To prevent  you from doing anything stupid, you looked away and leaned back against the wall. Getting away from him still was out of your league, though ; you settled for resting your head on his shoulder and spread your plaid over both your bodies. It might've been because nights were fresh, even in August, but it was mostly to make sure you were as close to him as you could be. Before falling asleep, the last thing you felt was Bucky's head letting itself fall on top of yours.

---

"Hey, you need to wake up."

The morning sun made you blink and you felt something on your thigh. Lowering your gaze, you noticed Bucky's hand. You tried not to freak out and looked up at whoever had spoken : Steve. Bucky shifted next to you, woken up by Steve's words  as well.

"What's going on?" you asked. Steve might have been the best at hiding concern, he couldn't always hide it from you.

He sighed. "Darren's here."

"Shit." You got up more abruptly than you should've, causing you to lean on Steve's shoulder for a second. "Where is he?"

"Right here."

You turned around, seeing Darren standing in the doorframe. Well, that was unfortunate. You thought you should've been feeling some sort of guilt after being found in another man's arms – technically ; all you felt was anger. You were angry that he'd showed up after standing you  up last night, you were angry about the neglect and his overall lack of care.

"What are you doing here?" you asked sharply.

"Bringing you home. Why didn't you come back?" His arms were crossed over his chest and he shot Bucky a furious look. "And why were you sleeping outside with this guy?"

Rubbing your forehead, you gestured towards Steve and Bucky.  "Could you guys leave us a minute, please?"

Even though Steve nodded and walked back inside, Bucky seemed unsure about  leaving you alone with your husband. You gave him a brief smile and he took the hint.  As you closed the door behind him to have some privacy – the door was made of glass, but oh well –, Darren started pacing.

"Did you cheat on me last night?"

"What the hell?" You  couldn't believe your ears. "You're kidding, right? You stood. Me. Up. You didn't even bother telling me in advance that you'd go at Brad's, and you didn't even come home. Didn't you think I was tired of being alone every night?"

"You're never alone."

"Damn it, Darren,  you came home past dinner every day since we got married! We should be on our honeymoon right now, and yet you don't even bother kissing me goodnight."

"That's all this is about? I work a little too much and you go away to your so-called family?" He'd stopped pacing and raised an eyebrow, proud of his innuendo. His insinuating Steve and the gang weren't your family made your blood boil.

"So-called? So-called, Darren? I love these people. They are my family and they've been more present for me today than you have in a week. What did you expect? That I would happily ask to be invited at Brad's, when I clearly am not welcome there?"

"You are welcome, what the hell are you talking about?"

"They don't like me, and you know that very well." You looked at the ground. You might've been angry, but never being able to fit in within Darren's social circle had always hurt you.

"Maybe you're not trying hard enough."

No words came out of your mouth. How could you say anything to that? This was the ultimate insult. You had given so much to this relationship that you'd never even thought that 'not trying hard enough' could've been  the reason they  disliked you. First dinner with them, Brad's wife had made fun of what was left of your Sokovian accent, asking Darren if he wanted you to help you get a green card. Of course you'd called her out on her racism. She got upset, but was it your fault? No. During a night out, Brad had been too handsy with you and when telling Darren about it, he'd told you that you were reading too into it, that he was just being friendly. They weren't good people, and you'd always wondered why Darren bothered hanging out with them.

"That's it, go away." You let out an exasperated sigh, opening the door. "You're going to leave the compound to go home and calm down. Maybe I'll be back in a few days."

"I'm not going anywhere without you." That could've sounded romantic. In his mouth, it sounded more like a threat.

"Hell yeah, you are. Now go. My birthday is in three days, and I don't want you to be like this then."

"Right, your birthday. Don't count on me to celebrate it if you don't bother coming home."

You closed your eyes for a moment before gesturing him to leave. He ultimately walked through the glass door and you saw him make eye-contact with Wanda on his way out. You knew she was trying hard not to throw him against a wall or something. You ran your hand through your hair, taking in what had just occurred. You knew Darren would feel better the next day and that it would be like nothing ever happened. You just weren't sure anymore whether it was a good thing or not.

"Don't worry, you can stay here longer," you heard Steve say.

"You're better off with us anyway," Wanda told you.

"You know he's-"

"Please, don't defend him," your sister pleaded. "He's not treating you right and you know it. He hasn't for years. Why are you-"

"Wanda, please. Not here."

You looked at Bucky out of the corner of your eye ; you didn't want to have that conversation in front of him, for some reason. Maybe deep down, you knew he'd side with Wanda. Having your sister call you out was hard enough ; you didn't need your soulmate to start doing it as well.

--- I just finished part 9 so I'm posting part 6 because I can't wait to have your opinion on this one!! Don't forget you can message me anytime to be added to the tag list :)

Tag list :

@ginger-swag-rapunzel @joscelyn02

[jaycewrites-192000]

Growl: Chapter 7

Warnings: None

Tags: @theravencawsatmidnight @etroman @kaariqueen

Your P.O.V

Monday came sooner than I wanted it to, not to mention I had a test today. A test...that I did not study for. "I'm such an idiot." I muttered, as I reluctantly walked into school. "Maybe if I beg good enough Iwaizumi will let me cheat off him." I say under my breath. I suddenly felt someone lean down and whisper in my ear. "What's this about begging Iwa-Chan now? Naughty L/n-" I elbowed Oikawa in his gut before he could finish. "I'm talking about a test, you horndog!" I snapped. Oikawa recovered from the hard blow. "S-So you didn't study, huh?"

"I bet you didn't either." I glare at him. "Of course I did! Unlike you, I had Iwa-Chan's help!" I gave him a shocked look. "How did you get his help!? He always tells me to study on my own! No wait...we're you actually "studying" or..."

"L/n-Chan! I'm surprised at you!" He could deny it all he wanted, there was no overlooking the blush on his face. Guess I was right about that. "Whatever. Let's just get going." I say while walking, a bit faster to get some distance between me and Oikawa. But of course his long leg ass easily kept up with me. "You know L/n-Chan, if you keep this up you won't be able to participate in club activities." I hate to admit it, but he was right. If I kept failing in my classes, the school faculty will be forced to remove me from the volleyball team. Meaning I won't be the manager or hang out with my new friends as much. I won't get to hang out with Kyotani either...

"Of course that upsets me more than anything else." I think with a sigh. I hurried into class with Oikawa, Iwaizumi was already inside at his seat. "Hey Iwaizumi." I greet him as I take my seat. "Hey L/n." He says back. "Actually on time for once Shittykawa?" He asks, not even glancing at the brunette boy. "Oh hush. I got plenty of beautify sleep last night, so of course I'm here." Oikawa sits down. "Doubt it." I mutter. We all know you were with Iwaizumi last night you liar. "What?" They both ask in unison. "Nothing." I lean back in my seat. "Hey Iwaizumi, can you help me study if I fail this test?"

"No."

"Jerk!" I cross my arms. "Why not?" Iwaizumi looked at me as if I were a child. Great, about to get scolded by a man my own age. "Because you should have taken studying more seriously. You had plenty of time before today. You also had the weekend. What have you been doing?" He asked. I turn away to hide my blush. Like hell I was gonna tell them I was with Kyotani. Oikawa would never shut up about it, and Iwaizumi...well it was kinda like telling your father that you have a boyfriend. Point is, it was awkward and I'm not spilling!

"....I was watching anime."

"Nerd."

"Shut up stupidkawa!!"

"You're starting to loose your touch, L/n-Chan." He smirks. "I could have thought of a way better insult than that."

"So you do want us to insult you?" Iwaizumi raises an eyebrow. I groan and rest my head against the window, Iwaizumi and Oikawa's bickering drowning out as I stare out into nothing. 'Might as well accept the fact I'm failing this test. I really should have studied more instead of doing stupid shit. Maybe I'll Kyotani to help me.' My cheeks then red. I didn't know how his grades were, but it was worth the try. Just because he was a punk didn't mean he couldn't be smart, right?

The test had finally ended, and I had just barely passed! But it wasn't good enough, I can't just barley pass throughout the rest of my last year. What happened today was pure luck, and that wouldn't last me forever. I need to take this more seriously, for the volleyball team and for myself. I managed to catch Iwaizumi just before he went inside the gym. I told him I needed to speak with him in private. "What did you want to talk about L/n? Is there something wrong?" He asks, concern lacing his tone. I clutched my bag tightly and spoke with a stern determination. "I'm going to start studying harder. I just barely passed the test today. If I keep this up and fail, I won't be able to be your team's manager anymore. So what I'm asking is..." I look away from Iwaizumi, hiding my embarrassed expression. "Do you...know what Kyotani's grades are like?"

When Iwaizumi didn't answer, I looked up at him. His expression was one of confusion. "You...want Kyotani to help you study? Why?" I bit back a growl and clenched my hands tighter, my face was only getting redder but the second. "Because! The only people I'm "close" to is you, Oikawa and Kyotani! You won't help cause you're busy with Oikawa and Oikawa can't help cause he's dumbass who would only flirt with me the entire time, and Kyotani...well I don't know! That's why I'm asking!"

"Whoa, wait, slow down." Iawaizumi raises his hands. "You're close to Kyotani? How did you manage that?" He asks. I sighed deeply, I really didn't want anyone to know about it. But there's no helping it now. "Me and him talked over he weekend. And, I even went over to his place a few times. So yeah, we're friends now I guess. But I didn't really know much about him, only a little bit really." I fiddle around with my hands, trying to figure out what else to say. "I would like to know more about him. So I thought, why not do that by asking him to help me study." Iwaizumi hummed in response. "I see." He mutters.

"Are you going to take it seriously?" He asks. I nod. "I will. I said I would start trying harder." Iwaizumi rubbed the back of his head. "Then you should ask him. If you and him are friends like you said, I'm sure he wouldn't mind helping you. As for his grades, I don't know about all that." He put his hand on my shoulder. "I'm proud of you Y/n. You really are coming out of your shell, it makes me happy to see you're making an effort." I smile softly and put my hand on his. "Me too. Don't worry, I'm gonna make sure I keep my word. Just wait and see Hajime!"

"I look forward to." Iwaizumi chuckles.

Practice had ended a bit earlier than unusual, the team finished changing and we're heading out. You decided to hang back and wait for Kyotani, it felt a little weird to say the least. Though it shouldn't be, you had just been over to his place twice and met his family. From an outside perspective, someone could mistake you both as a couple, even thought it was quiet the opposite. "I completely get it though." You sigh. You were snapped out of your trance by the locker room's door opened. Kyotani stepped out, school bag thrown over his shoulder. "Oh, hey." He greets once he finally noticed you. "We're you...waiting for me?" He asks. "Uh, yeah." You nod. "I wanted to ask you something." You tilt your head towards the exit of the gym, Kyotani seemed to have understood the message and walked out with you. The both of you walked in silence until reaching the school gate, Kyotani finally spoke up. "So what did you want to tell me?"

"You know how important tests are when it comes to graduating and being able to participate in club activities right?" Kyotani nods. "Well, I do want to graduate. But I also want to stay and be the team's manager. So I can't afford having my grades continue to slip. Eventually they'll be so bad, that I won't be able to do either. So what I'm asking is, will you help me study?" Kyotani raises an eyebrow. "Really? You want my help?" He asks. "I know it's sudden of me to ask, but I really don't have anyone else. Iwaizumi is too busy helping that train wreck of a captain of ours to help me. Not like he would anyway." Kyotani sighs heavily. "I don't know..." You turned to him. "Please!" You grab his hand with yours, Kyotani froze where he stood. "I'll make sure to repay you for helping me! Anything you want, I'll do it! So please...please help study Kyotani." You look up at him, eyes shining pathetically like a sad puppy. How could he say no to that? "Damn it..." He almost wanted to walk away and ignore it, but deep down he knew damn well that he couldn't. "Ok. I'll help you as best as I can. My grades aren't anything special, just so you know." You smiled brightly and hugged him. "Thank you so much! And anything helps at this point!" Kyotani nods and continued walking after you pulled back. "You really are nice Kyotani. Despite whatever everyone else thinks or says. In fact, I'm really glad I got to know you." You couldn't tell how Kyotani felt about that, he was slightly ahead of you, so you couldn't see his face. But unknowing to you, Kyotani cracked a little smile. And he'd never admit it, but he was glad he got to know you too.

Later that night, you and Kyotani were staying up late studying. You both decided it would be best if it happened over at your place rather than his. For two reasons. One, your mother wasn't home, so you had the entire house to yourself for the night. And two, Kyotani insisted that his mother would interrupt every so often because of how fond of you she was. It was down right embarrassing. And he didn't want to deal with that all night. Besides, like this, it would just be the the two of you, alone together. Together with math, really. "And if you solve for x you get?" Kyotani asks, waiting for you to answer. You hummed as you thought hard about what to say. "....15?" Kyotani shook his head. "12." You let out a loud groan. "This is such garbage! How am I ever gonna get this!?" You whine. Why did math have to be such damn complicated, in fact, why did anything involving studying have to be complicated? "Don't know. But you better get it quick before the council kicks you off the team. Now try again." Kyotani says, while writing something down in his books. "How can you be so calm about this? I thought you said your grades weren't anything special. Or was that a lie?"

"No, it wasn't. My grades are pretty shit." He admits. "Then what's the point this!?" Your mind screamed. "But not because I'm stupid or anything like that. It's because I hardly ever show up to class. But between the two of us, I'm smarter than you I guess." You scowl and slam your pen down. "I guess so huh?" You grumble. "Relax. I'm helping you out ain't I? After you do this we can take a break." Kyotani sets a new set of math equations in front of you. "Yeah sure, but before that, why don't you go to class? If you're so smart as you say, then why not just go and better your grades. I'm sure you don't want to get kicked off the team either."

"No, I don't. But my grades aren't that bad yet. So I have nothing to worry about. Hurry up and solve these."

"Not until you answer my question." You say as you cross your arms. Kyotani looked up from the books and eyes you for a moment. He sighs and leans back slightly. "Either cause I just don't feel like going, or cause it just ain't worth the effort." He finally tells you. Really? That was it? He made it sound like it was so much more to it than that. It almost made you angry, you were failing but you actually tried to put in the time to go to class. The only time you've ever skipped class was the one time with Kyotani, and never before or after that. You went to school every day and tried as hard as you could, and yet, you still failed at what he claims to exceed in. He says this and he's not even there! He skips out and still makes better grades than you! And from the looks of it, he hardly ever studied like you. "It just doesn't make sense." You mutter. "What?" Kyotani asks, only for you to shake your head and get back to writing. "Look, I made a promise to the team that I would try harder at this manager thing. And I can't do that if I continue to fail like I am, and as for you? I can tell you have such a passion for volleyball, every time you play, you get this look in your eye. A look that says, "I'm going to be the best at this". But how the hell are you gonna the best at anything, if you keep skipping class and letting your grades slip?"

"What? This a lecture now?" Kyotani eyebrow twitched in a annoyance. "Damn right!" You leaned forwards on the the table and poked his chest, as you spoke with the sternness of a mother who was scolding her child for acting out. "Your grades might not be as bad as mine now, but they will be soon if you keep that shut up! And when that happens, you'll be kicked off the team! And we both don't want that now do we?" Kyotani had to bite back any spite that he wanted to throw your way. You had a point, so he would let you talk. "If I get kicked out it won't be much of a shock, but Kyotani your team needs you. Think of how upset they would be if you were removed because you didn't try your hardest." Your tone began to soften with every word. "I know I would be. You love this sport way too much to give it up so easily. So don't let this chance slip away from you, try harder, do better. That way, you can keep moving further. And who knows, maybe one of these days, you'll land yourself in a really famous volleyball team."

Kyotani was speechless, you were absolutely right. You were right to be upset with him, you were right about him loving the sport, you were right about it all. His eyes tore away from yours, meeting the table that sat in between you both. "Ok." Was all he said. "Ok!? You-" He cut you off before your temper could rise any further. "I'll start going to class more often. But you have to start trying harder too ok? I don't want you getting kicked out either." A smile made it's way onto your face. You held out your pinky. "Promise?" Kyotani rolled his eyes but interlocked his pinky with your own.

"Promise."

Previous | Next

[sierraraeck]

Payphone

Spencer x GN!Reader

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Summary: After dropping everything to be with Spencer, you start to wonder if you made the right choice. Part three.

Category: Angst.

Warnings: Cussing. Heated arguments. Mentions of Maeve’s death, drug use, and allusions to suicide.

Word Count: 4.5k

A/N: Inspired by the song “Payphone” by Maroon 5. If you wanna give that a quick listen, go for it, if not, that’s chill too. Also, I tried to make this gender neutral, but if I did not, please let me know what I need to correct. Please keep in mind, I’m not a therapist, so I don’t actually know what questions they would ask, what advice they would give, or how they would handle this situation.

Internal dialogue

Flashback

How did I end up here? That was the main thought running through your head as you sat on the couch opposite the older woman in pointed framed glasses.

Her whispery voice traveled the space between you and pulled you back to real time. “So, how are you?”

You couldn’t help but make a snappy remark back. To be fair, you’d had plenty of practice lately. Plus, you were at a therapist’s office for Chrissake. She couldn’t really believe the answer to that question was going to be positive, could she? “Oh, you mean besides the fact that my best friend and love just said ‘fuck you’ to my face and then said he never wanted to see me again, storming out of my apartment with his keys to my place flying at my head? I’d say I’m doing fantastic.”

You could tell she was trying to hold a composed face, but you saw the slight exhaustion, and some disappointment, flash across her features. “Y/N, we don't have time for jokes. How'd the two of you end up there?” That’s what I’d like to know.

You sighed, “Well long story short, my relationship with Spencer ended on poor terms, I got engaged to Jordan, essentially cheated on him with Spencer, broke off the engagement to be with Spencer, and then that pretty much went to shit as well. Then you know the rest.”

She mirrored your sigh, but said in a soothing voice, “You’re not paying me to help you deal with the short version. Where do you stand with Spencer now?”

You wanted to laugh in her face, “Did you not hear the part about the keys at my head and the never wanting to see me again?”

She gave you a stern, cold look. “Y/N.”

“I know I’m sorry,” you apologized. You just couldn’t help it. Those types of snappy remarks had become a bit of a habit, to the point where it was clearly an unfiltered natural reaction. “That’s not the only thing that’s gone wrong lately, but it really just seems like the last straw.”

She leaned in toward you slightly, a wide open invitation. “Tell me about that.”

“I choose you.” The widest grin you could have imagined spread across Spencer’s face and he quickly pulled you into a kiss. It was almost frantic, like if he didn’t do it immediately you would change your mind. You wouldn’t.

Until, maybe, you would. From the moment he kissed you until the moment you ended up in a therapist’s office, things were frantic. For a while, it was a fun frantic. You moved into your own apartment (you both agreed it was too soon to live together), and you spent as much time as you could together. Between Spencer’s travels and your time commitment to the courtroom, you didn’t have a ton of time, but anything you could get, you took advantage of. Movie nights in on the couch, date nights out to restaurants, mid-day picnics, late night walks, and one of your favorite events yet, clubbing and drinking with his team. You finally got to meet them again, this time on much better terms, and couldn’t help but fall more in love with Spencer seeing how much he loved his team. He would do anything for them, and according to Derek, he looked at you the same way. That’s why you thought it would be a good idea to take the FBI prosecuting job when it was offered to you. You quickly learned that was not the right decision.

“And why is that?” your therapist, Lori, asked.

“I don’t know. I guess working with your significant other is never a good idea,” you shrugged.

“While that is usually true, I’ve seen plenty of successful workplace romances. Is that what you think was the turning point?” Lori prompted.

“I guess. The first thing was how Spencer reacted to me taking the job.”

You thought it would be a nice surprise. You know, like ‘surprise baby, we are going to get to see each other more often’ or something of the like. But when you told Spencer, that was not his reaction at all. He looked shocked, then disappointed.

“What? I thought this would be good news,” you asked, confused.

“Yeah, yes. It is,” he floundered. You knew he was lying, it wasn’t hard to tell. “I’m happy for you.”

Sure, maybe you shouldn't have pushed it, but his disappointment hurt. It felt as if he didn’t want to see and spend more time with you. “Are you? You don’t act like it.”

“I am.”

“What did I do? What is it about me taking this job that doesn’t sit right with you?” It was a reasonable question, in your opinion.

Spencer dismissively shrugged, “It just doesn’t sound like the type of thing you’d be interested in.”

You cocked an eyebrow, trying to remain as calm as you could, “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. Just thought you were the type that ‘liked to stand up for the little guy’ or whatever,” Spencer half mumbled.

You weren’t sure what had gotten his panties in a wad, and the only thing you could think of was, “Did you have a bad case?”

He turned on you, “Oh, come on, Y/N, really?”

This infuriated you even more. “I just can’t come up with another reason as to why you’re being so weird about this. Seriously, Spencer, what’s the problem? Because if it’s not the case, then it’s the job, and I can’t figure out what’s so wrong with that. What’s wrong with that Spencer?” You heard it before he even accused you of it. You knew how your voice sounded when you were in the courtroom speaking in front of a jury, and so did Spencer.

“Don’t interrogate me, Y/N,” he spat, and turned to walk away from you.

“I wouldn’t have to if you’d just answer my questions,” you fired back.

He spun on his heels with a new fire in his eyes you could tell he was trying to douse. “I just thought you would have talked to me about it first, that’s all.”

“I didn’t think I’d have to because I thought this would be good news,” you tried to explain.

“You didn’t think you should talk to me about it first?” Spencer’s voice got higher, as did his anger.

I don’t need to consult you about my life. Don’t try to control me! You kept those thoughts to yourself, instead responding with, “No. It’s my career and I made what I thought would be the best decision.”

“Well if that’s your view on how relationships work, only making the best decision for you, then maybe I need to reevaluate my own decisions.” That one hurt. That comment went straight through your chest, and for a split second, before remembering what was actually going on, you thought that he’d make a really good lawyer, able to make such harsh comments with such a low, icy tone.

He turned to walk away again when you yelled after him, knowing damn well that he was close to a breaking point if you just pushed a little harder, hoping for some answers. “Why don’t you want me in the FBI, Spencer?”

“Because it’s the one place that I feel at home and I don’t need other people getting involved in that!”

You gaped at him. You just stood there and stared at him. Then, without another word, you went to pick up your stuff from off the floor, and marched toward the door. Spencer quickly stopped you. “I’m sorry.”

You didn’t look at him as you tried to push by him, “You said what you said.” And you both knew what he meant, but didn’t say, too.

“I didn’t mean it,” he tried to remedy the situation.

You looked him dead in the eyes, “Really? So can you look me in the eyes and truthfully tell me that you don’t think I’ll be encroaching on your space if I take this job? Can you tell me that the reason you don’t want me taking this job is not because you enjoy having the FBI as a private place all to yourself away from me, a place that makes you feel at home when apparently I don’t? Can you really tell me those things aren’t true?” His silence was all you needed before you walked out.

“So you walked out?” Lori confirmed.

“The first time,” you answered, your voice a low growl.

“How did you two work that out?” she asked.

“We didn’t talk for about a day or two. I still took the job because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have a job. He apologized again and told me some bullshit about being excited for me, just being caught off guard, and we moved past it,” you recited, waving your hand in the air as if that would actually clear the memory from your mind.

“How was it actually working with him?”

“Well, we weren’t exactly working together. I got cases from all over the bureau, so things went back to normal. Sure, it was easier for us to head over to the other’s floor on a break, or go eat lunch together, and things like that, but our time commitments to our jobs were the same as before. The most we interacted during work was when I was prosecuting someone the BAU had caught, and I needed clarification or one of them to testify.”

Lori shifted in her seat, “Did you usually ask Spencer for help with those things?”

“Depends,” you raised your eyebrows quickly, “Did we just fight or not?”

“So the fighting was constant?”

“I guess you could say that,” you huffed. “It went in waves for a while, then got progressively worse.”

“What caused it to get progressively worse?” Lori wondered.

“I didn’t figure this out until later, but it was the anniversary of his girlfriend's death that was the real beginning of the end for us.”

Lori furrowed her brow, “Do you know which anniversary?”

You gave her a dark, tight-lipped smile, “The one-year anniversary.”

“And how long had the two of you been together?” You could see the gears spinning in her head, trying to do the math.

“Eight months.” Her eyes went wide as you saw her put the same pieces together, just as you had. She gave you a curious look, mixed with sympathy, and you nodded. “Yeah. I know.”

“Did you talk about this?” she asked.

“Talk wouldn’t exactly be the word I’d use, no,” you quipped. “But we definitely discussed it.”

You found out from Emily. It was an innocent mistake. Spencer had been acting off, keeping to himself more, going to work early, staying super late. Sometimes he slept in the office and didn’t come home at all. Sure, the two of you weren’t ‘living together’ but you spent a healthy portion at the other’s place. Except, then you weren’t.

Spencer had told you about his past with drug abuse, and how his mom was getting worse, so it wasn’t hard for you to put two and two together and jump to the worst conclusion. Of course, while you're fantastic at what you do, and you do rely on certain non-verbal cues to help you out on the job, you aren’t a trained profiler. Luckily for you, you knew a team of them that also happened to know your Spencer, working only a floor above you.

You were worried, so you asked them if they’d noticed anything. They told you that, while they didn’t know his mom was getting worse, they did know he wasn’t back on drugs. Derek had had the same thought and paid extra attention to him, and was confident that wasn’t what was happening. You were desperate, so you asked them if they could think of anything else that could have him acting like this. That’s when Emily suggested something about ‘wait, isn’t it close to the anniversary of Maeve’s … you know.’ You didn’t know, but a lightbulb went off in JJ’s head. She agreed with Emily and said that had to be what was getting him down. When their attention was back on you, they realized that you were absolutely in the dark about whatever they were talking about.

“The anniversary of whose what?” you demanded.

“Oh, uh, forget we mentioned it. I’m sure Spencer will tell you in his own time,” JJ attempted.

You narrowed your eyes at her. “We’re both still talking about Spencer here, right?”

Her, Emily, and Derek passed looks between them before Emily gave you the very short version of what had happened. You were shocked, and honestly, you felt betrayed. You asked them the same questions Dr. Lori had asked you, which only increased the betrayal you felt.

“So you’re saying that Spencer’s girlfriend got killed right in front of him only four months before he came running back to me?” you confirmed. All they could do was look down and nod. You gasped, “Well, that is certainly good information to know.”

You couldn’t stand to be around anyone just then, and started walking away when you heard Derek call after you, “Hey, Y/N, wait.” You were already at the elevator when he jogged up to you. “I know that comes as a bit of a shock,” you raised your eyebrows at him, “Ok, a lot of a shock. But he was hurting and you were the best thing that could have come around at that time.”

“That’s the thing, though. I didn’t just ‘come around.’ He purposely came after me. Those are two very different things.” He was about to interject, but you put up a hand. “I know that he’s a good guy, and I know that he was hurting, is still hurting, but that doesn’t give him any right to toy with other people’s emotion, and other people’s lives.”

“Is that still how you feel?” Dr. Lori asked.

“To an extent, yeah,” you nodded. She looked at you with soft eyes, letting the silence hang between you. You felt like you already knew the answer to the question you were about to ask, but you hoped Lori could provide some sort of confirmation. Confirmation that Spencer didn’t give. “Do you think he was only with me because she died? Do you think the only reason he came back for me, and essentially wrecked my life in the first place, is because the person he truly loves is dead?”

“I cannot tell you what is or was going through Spencer’s mind,” Lori reminded you.

“Ok, well then, in your professional opinion, what do you think?” Again, you were desperate and needed some answers.

“What did Spencer tell you? Have you asked him that question?”

You’d asked him. Of course, that was in the heat of the moment, and you could only remember certain things you both said and probably in the wrong order, but you remember what his response was.

“Were you ever going to tell me?” Your voice was surprisingly calm. Usually, you’d be a lot more mad at him, but all those other times you had something to fight for. Something to really be mad about if things went poorly. Now, though, you didn’t know what was left to fight for or get upset over. Without fully acknowledging your own thoughts, you’d already given up.

“Eventually,” Spencer responded.

“I don’t think you were,” you said, sadly. You’d been thinking about how to approach this conversation since you’d found out, analyzing him and the situation, going over all of your thoughts a thousand times before you finally let them all out. “I think that I remind you of a better time. I think that when we were together, that was the first time, and maybe only relationship, that really went right for you. I think that after the pain and grief that you still haven’t fully processed, I seemed like an easy fix. I could fill the void, and somehow, maybe, just maybe, I could transport you back to a time before the pain of the BAU, before the pain of Tobias Hankle, before the pain of Maeve Donovan, and you could pretend like all of that hadn’t happened. But then, you started to realize that things weren’t as perfect as you remember. We are not the same people we used to be, we never will be, and I couldn’t wipe away everything that happened, I only started hindering the good. You lost all of the good you’ve come to depend on, Spencer. I brought you back to a time when you weren’t the genius doctor in the highest unit of the FBI, a time when you weren’t saving people, and hunting criminals. That’s why you wanted the FBI all to yourself, and you did everything in your power to keep me, and your new life at the FBI separate, including Maeve. And you know what else I think? I think that somewhere in that big brain of yours, you knew all of this, too. I think you knew that you were transferring and using me as a temporary fix. But what about me, Spencer? I walked away from an engagement because I thought all of this was sincere. Yes, that was my choice, but you also made the choice to come to me, regardless of your motives. And somehow, I think you knew this was destined to fail. I should have seen it, too.”

“Well, we all made our choices,” Spencer snapped.

You nodded, clenching your jaw at his deflective statement. “Yeah. We did.” You waited for him to leave like he always did, but he didn’t. He just kept standing there. Against your better judgement, you had to ask the question you’d been wanting to ask since you found out about Maeve. “Am I her replacement?”

“What?” Spencer asked. His head snapped up to yours, eye refocusing, and you would have paid anything to know what was going through his mind before you pulled him back to reality.

“Are we only here because you lost her?” Despite your voice cracking, there was a certain power behind your words.

“Why does that matter?” Spencer asked.

Why does that matter? You couldn’t even believe he would ask you something like that, and you opened the floodgates on him. “It matters because it means that you don’t actually want to be with me! It means that you are using me to distract you and make yourself feel better instead of dealing with your shit. I gave up everything for you, just to find out this isn’t real! And what has it cost you, Spencer!”

“How can you say that? I’ve made just as many sacrifices for this relationship as you have!” Spencer yelled back.

“Like what? Name one thing, Spencer!” He stood there in silence. You snarled, “Exactly! The only things you’ve given up were your ‘ownership’ over the FBI, and Maeve, neither of which you willingly sacrificed.”

“Maybe you’re right, then,” Spencer’s voice dropped to that bone-chilling tone, sending a shiver down your spine. “Maybe I’m not cut out for relationships. My past has certainly told me that. So yeah, I guess I did know this would fail going into it. But maybe it failed because I’m with you and not with her.”

You let out a single bitter laugh. “I’m sure that’s the reason, Spencer. I’m sure that you wake up every morning and look at me and wish you could’ve gotten to Maeve just a moment sooner, huh?”

It was like cross examining a suspect on the stand. You find their most sensitive button, and you just keep pushing it until you get a confession. “No. I wish I would have followed through on my deal to take her place.”

Time seemed to stop. The earth had completely halted on its axis, tearing the fabric of your reality out of the ground and sending it flying. It would have hurt less had he simply ripped your heart out of your body and smashed it under the sole of his shoe. You couldn’t stop and think about what you were saying before it flew out of your mouth. “Then I guess you’re real happy you know where to get the drugs that can help you finally do that.”

“Fuck you!” Spencer yanked open the door to your apartment, fished the keys you gave him out of his pocket, and threw them as hard as he could at you. You ducked out of the way and heard the small dent you later found out they made in the wall behind you. “I never want to see you again!”

He slammed the door and that was the last you’d heard of him.

“So yeah, I asked him the question. I’ve thought about that for days on end and I can’t figure out how much of that was the truth, and how much of that was just anger buildup that took over in the moment,” you admitted.

“You said it’s been days since this happened?” Lori confirmed.

“More like weeks.”

“Why’d you decide to come in now?” she wondered.

“I tried dealing with it on my own. It started to distract me from my work, so I decided I needed help figuring out how to move past this.”

“Have you talked to anyone else besides me about this?” When you gave her an odd look, she explained, “I’m just wondering who else, if anyone, is in your support system.”

“Not really. I briefly talked to an old coworker and friend of mine, Ash, but I didn’t talk to them long. We’re both really busy,” you explained. “Normally I would talk to Jordan about this stuff, but…”

“Ahh, yes,” the doctor remembered, “Jordan. How is he?”

“I wouldn’t know. I’m not really in the habit of reaching out to my ex-fiance about how he’s doing since I broke up with him,” you stated flatly.

“How did the break up go?”

The break up made you question yourself, yet again. You always knew you didn’t deserve Jordan. He was always there for you, through thick and thin, through all your highs and lows. And as a lawyer, there were a lot of those. He could empathize and understand your job and everything that came with it better than anyone. You were both a crying wreck when you broke up with him. He was heartbroken, but took it with such grace that you almost immediately wanted to take it all back. You told him that you loved him, you really did, you still do, but that you didn’t think it was fair to him to be with someone who also had feelings for another. He didn’t push you or ask too many questions, but he did ask why he wasn’t good enough. You couldn’t give him an answer. On paper, he was the perfect guy, and in reality, he was pretty damn close. But you just didn’t feel the same things with him as strongly as you felt them with Spencer. You kept apologizing and he kept crying until he walked you out the door.

“Looking back, how do you feel about that?” Lori asked.

“Well, we all make our choices, right?” The irony was too good not to take advantage of.

Lori gave you a pointed look. “That didn’t answer the question.”

“Because I don’t know how to answer it. I made what I thought was going to be a good decision in the moment, but I just don’t believe that anymore.” Saying that out loud lifted a weight from your shoulders.

“Tell me why you made that decision in the first place,” Lori prompted.

That was an easy question, actually. You thought back to when Spencer first came back to you, asking you out on a date in your office, and couldn’t help but smile a little. “I made that decision because Spencer was my first love. He came waltzing back into my life and, once we’d sorted out the rocky way we’d ended things, it was like no time had passed. He was still my best friend, the nerdy, brilliant, sweet guy that invited me to the library when he wanted to spend time with me. He took me on this endearing date, where he literally pulled out all the stops, and before I knew it, I was quickly falling back in love with him. I don’t know, he just makes me feel all these things that I’ve never felt before or after him. I’ve had strong feelings for others, but there’s nothing like the intoxicating energy of just being around him. It’s like floating and drowning all at the same time, and I-” you stopped abruptly after realizing you were rambling, saying all the things you hadn’t even realized had been rolling around in your head like a hamster ball.

Lori was looking at you with a little smirk on her face. “What?”

Her smile widened just a little, “What do you want, Y/N?” You opened your mouth to respond and she clarified, “What do you really want? No sarcastic quips, as fun as those are to hear.”

You took a deep inhale, “I want things to work out.” It was the first time you admitted that to anyone. You hadn’t even admitted it yourself, not even in your head.

“But..?”

“But I just don’t know if all the good is worth the energy it takes to deal with all the bad. And when things are bad, they get really bad.”

“I’m not going to lie to you, Y/N. All couples have problems. Sure, yours are very… unique, but I’ve seen couples get back together after similar or worse fights. What I’ve never seen is a person gush that much about their partner right after that harsh of a break up. I am not here to tell you what your feelings are, and I certainly cannot tell you what Spencer’s are, but if he talks about you the same way you talk about him, I think that the two of you can make things work. There are always going to be lows, and if you later decide that you simply cannot endure them anymore, then that is your right, and you will continue to make what you believe to be the right decision in that moment. But if what you really want is to make things work, then I would say you make the effort to make things work,” she advised.

That was great and all, but you couldn’t even begin to wonder where to start. So you asked, “How?”

She gave you one simple step. “Start by talking to Spencer.”

Love Somebody

@saspencereid @justanothetfangirl

[erensnubs]

𝑩𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑩𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒕

Oikawa x F! Reader

Chapter 1

Word count: 1.9k

RANDOM POST:

You let yourself be held by Matsukawa with Hanamaki's legs thrown over yours. 

"Mrs. Darcy ....Mrs. Darcy…. Mrs. Darcy ....Mrs. Darcy," Mr. Darcy says to Lizzie on the T.V screen. 

Hanamaki sniffles, "Yo I thought this was gonna be cringey but I'm crying right now." 

Matsukawa nods, silent tears rolling down his face. You smile a little and both pat them affectionately.

"Pride and Prejudice, will always be timeless. The book and the movie. I honestly think it's great either way. And Mr. Darcy is just UGH perfect," you say sniffling yourself and resting your head on the pillows. 

It's been 1 month since you arrived at Aoba Johsai, and you settled in with Hanamaki and Matsukawa as your "in school friends". You've been hanging out together now, and even more so because of volleyball practice and you being manager. 

You got close enough to each other that now you were bundled up with blankets, with Hanamaki laying on you and being held by Matsukawa. Popcorn, chips and candy are laying on the ground everywhere with CD's stacked up on the ground. 

"Bro this is actually a good show," Hanamaki says looking up at Matsukawa.

"Yo can you be quiet because I'm trying to process this shit," Matsukawa says and you start laughing. 

"Okay okay, the next movie is called…." You say searching through the pile.

"....10 Things I Hate About You!" You say pulling out the CD and sliding off the couch. 

"What's this one about?" Hanamaki asks, "Is it like a history one like the one we just watched?" 

You scoff, "No, this is totally different. It's a highschool one. I'm not going to explain it because it's confusing so just watch it." 

You put the CD in and the TV starts up to play the movie. You walk back to the couch as Matsukawa scoots to make some room. 

"Yo, [Name], tell me when the movie's actually starting because Iwa and Oikawa are texting me right now and say they wanna talk," Matsukawa says sliding off the couch. 

"You too Makki." 

Hanamaki looks at Matsukawa weirdly, "Wait why? I wanna watch the movie." 

Matsukawa shrugs his shoulders,"Just come over for a bit, it'll probably be short. You cool with that [Name]?" 

You nod. You weren't surprised that Oikawa and Iwaizumi wanted to talk to them. They were friends for a while and what you gathered from their perspective, you sort of ruined their whole dynamic. 

Especially Oikawa. The volleyball captain, despite your best efforts to try and communicate with him as manager, he'd make up some random excuse or fakely answers your question with that annoying sarcasm and perfectionism that everyone seemed to buy. 

Other than that the man literally glared at you, staring spears into your eyes when you caught him looking. You wish you could talk to him about it but it was made very clearly, he didn't like you "stealing" his friends. 

"Wait so you're from?" Matsukawa says at the lunch table. 

"I'm from [Country], but my parents moved here in Japan for my 1st year of highschool for business and because they move around a lot I've been staying at my Aunt's. I went to Karasuno for a while, then my parents decided I should enroll here," you say, picking at your lunch. 

Matsukawa smiles, "Hey that's pretty cool, our volleyball team is actually having practice with them! Soon I think.... I'm not sure. I can ask Oikawa… wait! He's here!" 

Matsukawa and you turn to the tall man, with the brown locks. 

"Oikawa! Come sit with me, [Name], and Hanamaki today! You too Iwa!" 

The two men came over and now you were sitting between Matsukawa and Hanamaki while facing Oikawa and Iwaizumi. 

Oikawa gives an indifferent stare at you for a split second before resuming a happy disposition. 

"Who might you be?" He asks. 

Your body physically retreats back because he made it seem like he does know you, but wanted to take a stab at you. 

What the fuck is his problem, you think. 

"It's [Name]. And you're Iwaizumi and Oikawa?" 

Iwaizumi nods, before Oikawa cuts him off icily, "Yeah yeah. I guess what I'm asking is what are you doing here at the volleyball table?" 

Ok so he DEFINITELY doesn't like you and Iwaizumi seems to sense this because he shoves Oikawa's shoulder. 

He pulls Oikawa by his arm and abruptly stands up, "God, I apologize about that. Me and Oikawa are going to sit somewhere else." 

And with that you were left with a confused Hanamaki and an equally confused Matsukawa, struggling to comprehend what happened. 

You've been meaning to talk to Hanamaki about this, but you decided against it. You shouldn't be meddling in their affairs anyway. They were friends longer and Oikawa was probably just having a bad day. You assured yourself with baseless rumors about how Oikawa was a happy-go-lucky boy who was talented, smart and kind to others. Surely he couldn't be bad? 

The stares, condescending smirks, and judgemental stares said otherwise. It was as if he gave everyone special treatment, except you. And you really didn't know why. 

Until today, you're gonna eavesdrop on their conversation. 

You tug on Hanamaki and motion for him to lean into you. He complied and you whisper in his ear. 

"Hey just for fun can I listen to the call? I promise I won't make any sound," you say and beam up at him. 

Hanamaki pulls back from your face and laughs, "Sure you're too freaking cute to say no to anyways. Mattsun! Can [Name] listen in? Just for fun?" 

You turn to Matsukawa and say, "I promise I won't say anything or make any sounds." 

Matsukawa smirks, "I don't really care. It's probably about homework anyways." 

You and Hanamaki share a devil-like smile. Something unspoken was between the two of you, and you both concluded that this conversation was most definitely not about homework. 

Suddenly a voice picks up on Matsukawa's phone and he puts it on speaker.

"Hey? What do you guys need?" he says, calmly. 

Iwaizumi's voice cut through, "Nothing just, Oikawa's a little upset." 

Hanamaki jumps in, "Wait why?" 

Iwaizumi sighs, "He's not telling me, but I think he's upset that you guys are with [Name] and not hanging out with us. Which is weird because we literally hang out a lot together and this is sort of like a once in a while thing right?" 

You slap your hand to your face and Hanamaki buries his face into your shoulder, trying to stifle your laughs. 

Matsukawa clears his throat, "Uh yeah? So what do you want us to do? Want us to invite you guys over? My parents aren't home so I don't think they'll mind having you come over." 

Oikawa's voice, clear as day rings through the phone. 

"Oh so a GIRL is alright at your house?" 

Your eyes widen as you share a look with Matsukawa. You were tempted to grab the phone and give the guy a piece of his mind but Hanamaki grabbed your wrist. 

"Man, chill. This is one of the only times she can come over. And I didn't think you would care so much about her, when you literally have girlfriends left and right," Matsukawa says, earning an approving look from you. 

Iwaizumi talks, "Yeah, I'm pretty sure Oikawa hates her guts because of some of the attention she's getting- 

"Am not!" 

"-because she's the new manager, new student and she quickly became friends with you two and the team…" 

Then Iwaizumi suddenly whispers, "Or Oikawa thinks she's interesting and you know.." 

Hanamaki looks at you and you jerk your head to the phone. 

"Uh… what do you mean?" 

You hear Iwaizumi slap himself in the forehead, "He thinks she's interesting romantically dipshits." 

Matsukawa snaps his fingers, "Oh he wants to fuck her?" He looks at you and wiggles his eyebrows. 

You furrow your eyebrows and flip him off. 

"What no? I mean I guess? I don't know…" 

Hanamaki looks at Matsukawa questioningly. And this time, you didn't know what it meant. 

Hanamaki barely mouths, "But doesn't he-" 

Matsukawa glares at him with a "let's continue this conversation later" look. 

"Uh alright Iwaizumi, I'm gonna let you go now… byeeee", He says. 

"Wait Mattsun no-". 

You stare nonchalantly at the screen, "Well you know that was…" 

Hanamaki finishes,"Interesting? No more scandalous." 

You punch him in the arm, "Wow did watching a Jane Austen movie expand your vocabulary? Maybe we should ask our English teacher to watch period pieces for our class.” 

Matsukawa laughs, “And hear this man’s ANNOYING crying! In class? Hell no.” 

Hanamaki scoffs, “First of all shut the fuck up Mattsun, and second, I see what you did there. Turning the attention to me.”

He looks back at you and you give a disinterested look. 

“Sure, but it's not really anything new. I’ve had plenty of people who hated me at first actually wanted to get to know me. I can’t blame that. People tend to do that when they encounter something new," you tell them. 

"I don't blame Oikawa for being, I don't know, a bitch to me. I did kind of steal some time away from all of you to hang out together." You shrug the volleyball jacket Hanamaki gave you back on and look at the boys. 

Matsukawa sighs, "Don't think about it too much [Name]. He's probably stressed and stuff about volleyball and all his school things. And honestly don't hook up with him, he's sorta a player." 

You nod and turn your attention to the T.V, but you can't ignore the weird look Matsukawa and Hanamaki give each other before finally settling in and watching the movie. 

MATSUKAWA POV: 

He sees Hanamaki not so subtly come back to the couch, but [Name] doesn't mind the intrusion. 

Truth be told, Matsukawa did care for [Name], but not as much as Hanamaki did. To him, [Name] was just another friend he could vibe with. For Hanamaki, it was much more. 

He didn't exactly know Hanamaki's motives with [Name]. He knew they were somewhat platonic, but he couldn't tell for sure. 

As for Oikawa… yeah that was clueless for him. He didn't want to agree right away with Makki, his pride wouldn't allow that, but he was right. Oikawa did find [Name] interesting, romantically. 

He saw it in the way his eyes would immediately trail over to her when she walked to class. How Oikawa would cover his face "casually", when she would randomly waltz around the room with him. When Oikawa would purposely wait a while and then join the lunch line so he could go near [Name]. Sometimes, Matsukawa could literally see Oikawa undressing her with his eyes when she was at volleyball practice and she was running back and forth getting water bottles and towels, sweat covering her like sheet. 

He noticed and kept them to himself. Matsukawa Issei didn't owe anybody the information he had. So he kept it to himself. He really didn't have to tell anybody. 

So that's what he did. Like how he's probably going to keep this information and statements from Iwa and Makki to himself as well. He won't confront Oikawa about it, nor will he meddle with Oikawa's relationship.

But what he will do is subtly give you hints about what's going on. He thinks you're a smart enough girl, that once he gives you the directions you'll figure it out. 

As to why he wants to do it. He doesn't know. Perhaps, you've grown on him. 

Yes. Perhaps you did.

IMPORTANT INFORMATION TO DISCLOSE

[Name] is used to men's lewd behavior because they will do ANYTHING to sleep with ANYBODY she thinks 

Matsukawa and Hanamaki trust [Name], but not enough to give her The Look 

Matsukawa and Hanamaki know something that [Name] doesn't. 

 Prev/ next

Taglist: @saladskittles @tanakasimpcorner

A note from Chef Tina: I used pics art for the random posts!

[arsonistslut]

Chapter 9: Reminders of Tragedy

"Hey, Jane!"

"Hey, Ingrid! How is my favorite person in the world?"

Jane's girlfriend of a good 9 years now happily walked over and kissed her on the cheek, beaming as she always seemed to do whenever she looked at her lover.

"Amazing now that you're here. Hey, you wanna go to that party Randy's having at his house tomorrow?"

"He's having a party? I didn't figure him the partying type."

"Despite the whole business parents thing, he is a real party animal. Hey, you know what's weird about the party?"

"What is?"

"He invited that Jeff guy there..y'know, that creep with the Conduct Disorder?"

She gestured to the tall, dark clothed young adult that sat alone at a lunch table nearby, playing with a switchblade.

"Hey, I remember him being pretty nice.."

"Remember him? You two date at some point?"

"We did, actually, wayyyy back."

Jane smirked when she saw the look of surprise and pride on Ingrid's face when she realized she guessed right.

"What was he like?"

"He was a sweetheart. Cheesy, but a sweetheart. Hell, even cheesier than me."

"Jane, you've carved our names into multiple trees. There's no out-cheesing that."

"Oh, you wouldn't believe how we met, either. My dad was out mowing the lawn, and he accidentally ran over a rock and it hit Jeff in the head."

"Oof, that sounds bad.."

"I visited him in the hospital with my parents one time, and I will never forget what he said to me as a pick-up line."

"What did he say?"

Jane cleared her throat, before trying her darndest to do an impression of a young Jeff.

"Did you come from heaven? Because you look like an angel!"

Ingrid couldn't help but let out a giggle as she quickly pulled Jane into her arms.

"Aww, that sounds so cute!"

"It was!"

Jeff himself was hearing this conversation from afar, the little tricks he played with his knife not an adequate distraction from the constant reminder of what could've been.

"I don't think he handled our breakup too well..nobody really wanted to treat him as anything other than a freak after his diagnosis went public. One time, I heard him ranting to his brother about how it was hypocritical of the school to do a health topic on depression when they wouldn't stop judging him for his CD."

"Sheesh, it sounds like he's been through a lot..poor kid could use a friend."

"It doesn't really look like he wants any. Liu isn't sitting with him..that's weird, Liu always sits with him."

"Prolly had an argument or something, you know siblings."

"Yeah.."

The day continued without incident, Jeffrey getting home at the same time as usual..yet his mind was not thinking about the party, or school, he was thinking about Jane and Ingrid. Why was Jane so special that she had everything she wanted in life and not him? What crime did he commit that landed him with absent parents, demonization from his peers, and a fucking smile cut into his face? That love, that relationship they had..Jeff came to the conclusion that it was something to be destroyed.

Liu, meanwhile, was..struggling with something. Something he never expected would be a problem in his life. Lately, he began having these thoughts..these violent, awful, intrusive thoughts, thoughts that seemed to be begging to be spoken aloud, the actions they describe seeming to grow more and more appealing as time passed.

Kill Randy.

Maim Keith.

Skin Troy like the cattle he is.

Maybe if he gave the thoughts an identity, they'd be easier to handle, he thought as he thought of a name for these urges..one stood out from the others. Not at all goofy, but not as laughably edgy as the other options.

Chapter 10: Enter Sully

Liu ended up speaking to Sully for the entire night..and even into the morning. When Jeff woke up the next morning, he could already hear Liu downstairs talking with..someone.

"It's sad, really..so concerned about themselves..no time spared for you."

"I-I guess..but they've got more important things to worry about.."

"Child, they do not have a thought in them about you. They're all self centered egomaniacs that would rather get pushed around by a genetic failure of a human rather than do anything about their situation!"

"That's not true, Sully! You're lying!"

A horrible growl soon came from the room.

"We are friends, child! Friends do not lie to each other, do they?"

"I..I guess not..goodbye for now, Sully."

"Where are you going?"

"I..I need some time to think."

Liu got back up, jumping from fear when he saw his brother staring at him.

"Holy shit, Jeff! You scared me!"

"I bet."

Awkward silence soon filled the dining room where they stood.

"Hey, Jeff...?"

"What?"

"I'm..sorry about punching you, and saying all that shit about you. I shouldn't have done that."

"No shit, Sherlock."

The elder brother turned around and began walking back up to his room, but not before his brother called out to him.

"Hey..is there any way I could make things up between us?"

"You could make things up by not betraying my trust again. You're all I've got, Liu..don't pull a Jane and fuck it up for me."

Liu always did question that grudge Jeff held for his ex, after all, he chatted with her in the past, and it always seemed like she genuinely enjoyed what her and Jeff had, and she always felt bad for leaving him like that. Hell, it sounded like it was as painful for her to leave him as it was for him to find out that his girlfriend left him. He was tempted to point that out, but he feared ruining things with his brother again.

"Alright.."

Chapter 11: A Hell of A Party

When Jane and Ingrid rounded the corner home, they found..a disturbing sight. A dead raccoon laying in the middle of the street, it's guts ripped out of it's body and thrown aside, Jeff gleefully pawing through the freshly murdered animal, childishly gawking and giggling over the corpse.

"Hey, Jeffrey! What happened here, what the fuck did you do?!"

Ingrid cried out to the blood-soaked kid, who looked up at her, confusion riddling his bloodied face.

"I killed a raccoon. It's not like anyone's gonna miss it."

"Why, you little-"

Ingrid slapped Jeffrey right across the face, knocking him to the ground as Jane held her girlfriend back and tried to keep the situation from escalating any further.

"What the hell was that for?!"

"You killed a helpless animal, you freak!!"

"I oughta kill you next, you piece of-"

Woods choked on his own spittle as he made his threat, never having been particularly..elegant with his words.

"Oh, really?! I'll kick your teeth down your fucking throat!"

"I swear to God, I'll strangle you with your own fucking intestines!!"

When Jeff reached for his switchblade, Jane panicked and grabbed her lover's hand, running off with her as Woods continued to scream at them.

"Your last words better be some Mark Twain shit, because it's going on your tombstone!! You hear me?!"

That experience was all on Jane's mind as she watched Jeff steadily get more and more wasted by the bonfire outside as time went on, at least, what glimpses she could catch of him when she wasn't busy dancing with the other students. Randy was also outside, reluctantly playing Truth Or Dare with the others as well as his increasingly hot and bothered enemy.

"Ok, Jeff!"

"Whaddup, baby?~"

"Truth or dare?"

"Dare, hit me with the worst ya got!"

"Slow dance with Randy."

"What the-no! I'm straight as a arrow, dude!"

"So is spaghetti until it gets wet~"

"Jeff, never say that again."

"C'mooooon, do the dare, ya pussy~ I don't bite!~"

Woods took his time getting up, but still had enough cognitive function to put on Grover Washington Jr's "Just The Two Of Us", to try and improve the mood, but Randy still wasn't having any of it. In a last ditch effort to try and seduce Randy, Jeffrey just..up and took his shirt off. That'll get things going, right? No, it didn't. Despite some swooning from some of his classmates, Randy himself didn't want any part of this. He was a few drinks deep as well, so in a drunken haze, he grabbed one of the bottles of booze they had, took a running start, and smashed it right over Jeff's head. The problem with that is that they were only a couple feet away from a bonfire, so when Jeff stumbled backward, he fell right into it, the alcohol on his exposed flesh quickly igniting. He quickly burst into flames, screaming and running off as the fire quickly seared his body, every remaining nerve ending he had that wasn't burnt away shocking his body with waves of pain. He could feel his scalp burning up once his hair was scorched away, finally finding solace in a nearby puddle that put out the flames. Jeff could see his life flashing before his eyes..his family, his brother..that was all he could see. As Randy and the other students' screams of horror faded away, Woods silently cursed himself for not doing anything more with his life..a single bloody tear rolled down his face as he shut his eyes for what he believed would be the last time.

Chapter 12: The End Of The Beginning

Suddenly..he was in some sort of void. The ground beneath him was black as pitch, and footsteps began to grow ever closer to him. When Jeff looked to see who was approaching, he found no earthly being waiting for his attention. When he laid his eyes on whatever approached, the previously totally dark void began to turn a sickly red. What stood before him was a monster unlike any other, an otherwordly monster many believed to be a mere tall tale.

HE COMES.

[addictofsupernatural]

Emotions (pt. 12)

Billy Hargrove x reader

Summary: Billy does his best to win you back, but a certain person keeps getting in the way.

Word Count: 2485

Chapter 1 • Chp. Masterlist

Billy was not giving up. He was set on winning you back, and started by waiting at your house to take you to school. At first you tried to ignore him and just walk, but he kept driving next to you and you felt too guilty. You'd end up getting inside and seeing his relieving smile. Hopper did always say that your conscious would screw you over some day.

During biology he was constantly trying to make you laugh. His charming jokes and quick wit would eventually get to you, and you would end up cracking a smile. You couldn't help it; you just thought it was funny how much of a child he could be, even with his beautiful grin.

During lunch you went with Steve Harrington. It pissed him off, but he needed to learn that you're entitled to hang out with anyone you want. He just didn't understand why it had to be him. When Billy passed by you in the halls or anywhere at lunch, he would always smile and wink at you. He'd see you blush, which was all he needed.

Billy had learned to have patience. He needed to be patient with you when you felt insecure about yourself, or when you didn't understand something simple. Looking back at it now, he could see why you had trouble adjusting to normalcy. He would now need to be his most patient self, because right now you were doing something you thought would be best for Billy, and he saw that you were trying your hardest to be better for him by trying to have him move on. He just needed enough patience for you to realize that he wasn't going to move on from the love of his life.

When Steve caught on that Billy's dumb ass face was actually working on you, he knew that he had to do something as your self proclaimed best friend. He invited Jonathan over to see what to do about it, pacing the floor and acting like he was planning a war strategy.

"We have to do something about this!" He said to Jonathan in the living room, with you easily listening from your bedroom easily listening. Hearing the two of them was like having a devil and angel on your shoulder. "Okay, what's our plan?"

"I don't know man. I think Billy's okay now, if I'm being honest. He's actually sorry, and he's okay now with y/n's powers. Maybe we should give him a chance?"

"Are you kidding me? And let my friend get hurt again? No, she's not going to fall for that dickhead again. Someone has to protect her; she's too innocent."

"Hey, dumbasses," You said from your door frame. "If you don't want me to listen in then maybe you shouldn't be talking about this crap in my house."

"See what I mean?! He taught her how to curse!" He then pointed to you. "And shut up. Your house is comfy, okay?"

"He's actually not wrong about that." Jonathan mumbled.

You scoffed. "I told you guys, we're not getting back together. And shouldn't I be able to make my own decisions anyways?"

"No, you need the guidance of a loyal friend." You rolled your eyes at his serious face, which then lit up with an idea. "I know exactly how to get him to back off! We need to get him jealous, and he'll get so pissed that he'll give up."

"You sure you don't just wanna see him get pissed?" Jonathan asked, scoffing as well.

Steve gave him a pat on the back. "That, my friend, is an added perk." He then gave the two of you a teasing smile.

The next morning when Billy went to your house to pick you up for school, he saw that Steve's car was parked there. He watched in disgust as the two of you came out, with your head down as you went into his car. Steve looked back, smiling and nodding at Billy. "You ever tried her pancakes?" He called out. "Delicious!"

He then got into the car too. You didn't look at Steve when saying, "You don't have to be an ass about it."

"You want him to move on or not?" Steve asked as you silently nodded.

Billy gripped his steering wheel as his breaths became deeper. You used to make him pancakes. You used to sit on his lap and feed it to him. Sometimes you'd lick the syrup off his lips. You'd never do that with that jerk off Steve, but the thought of you making something for Steve instead of him got Billy so fucking pissed.

At school, Billy thought about his options. He could still try to keep it up with strong flirting, but that dick off Steve would probably also start flirting. You hate conflict, and you'd hate that situation. Fucking Steve Harrington. How the hell was he supposed to win you back now?

It was time for him to really look back and think. When you two first got together, how did it happen? Back then, it happened slowly as you saw that his attention was focused on you. This was when you were just friends. Bingo.

When he saw you enter fourth period, he gently smiled and nodded his head. "Hey." You put your head down. "So, I was thinking. I'm sorry for going against what you want, and I think we should start over. As friends?"

This was painful for you, and you knew that you should just reject him so he can move on and be happy with someone else in the future. But you were dying to talk to him again; the conversations you missed so much. "Okay." You squeaked.

Unlike when you first met, this time he was the talker in the conversation and you were the listener. He rambled on and made jokes, and you responded with a smile or a nod, occasionally making a comment.

Once class ended the two of you were still talking when Steve walked into the classroom and smacked your shared desk, startling the both of you. "We should head over to lunch now. Let's go y/n."

Billy stood tall. "Sure thing. Let's all go."

"Let's not fight guys. Please." You quietly said.

Steve glanced at you before nodding. "Whatever you say. C'mon." He then put his hand on the small of your back to lead you out. Billy trailed behind, his nostrils flared and his teeth gritted.

You walked over to the basketball bleachers, with the two boys both ending up linking to each of your arms. Instead of sitting at you and Billy's usual spot, you sat on the other end. Billy took this as a sign that your memories together were still sacred to you. In actuality you knew it would fuel his anger if Steve sat at your 'special spot' that he loved so much.

"So, you two are, like, what? Friends now?" Steve asked, attitude in his voice.

"We never stopped being friends." Billy gave a shit eating grin.

"Well y'know, with kicking her out of your house and not accepting her for who she is I figured you guys were having a little trouble in paradise." He gave a shrug.

"Steve." You hissed.

"No, he's right." You whipped your head to Billy. "I did act like a jerk, but y'know what? Our bond is so fucking strong that I realized I don't care about any of it. She does that to me, I guess. Always reeling me back in, huh sweetheart?"

"As her best friend, I don't feel comfortable with you calling her that."

Billy gave a tch. "I'm her best friend."

You stood up out of anger and started walking away. "Where you going?" They said in unison.

"To Jonathan and Nancy." You turned to look back at them.

"You hate being around Nancy." Billy said.

"And you know Jonathan won't stand up to her."

"Yeah. Well, that should tell you how crappy I feel around you two right now." And with that you left.

"Very nice, ass wipe." Billy said as he shoved Steve.

"Really? This is my fault?" Billy only glared back at him. "Why can't you just leave her alone?"

"Why the fuck can't you just leave me alone?"

The two of them quickly got up and stomped away from each other, with Billy going over to an ecstatic Tommy and Steve trailing shamefully behind you as Nancy lectured you about not listening to her.

After school you slipped away from both boys and used a payphone to call Hopper. When he pulled up, you began walking over to his car before you heard Billy and Steve call out your name in unison. You started to speed walk before breaking out into a run when you saw them running over to you. You got into the car and slammed it shut. "Drive! Drive!"

Hopper, being flustered by your hurried tone, quickly drove off. "You wanna tell me why the hell we just Marty McFlyed the crap out of there?"

You let out a loud groan, ready to rant. "Ughhh! It's Billy and Steve! They keep fighting with each other, and it's about me. I hate that. They know I hate that, and yet they still have this alpha male bs going on. It's so stupid! I just want Billy to calm down, and Steve to tone it down! This whole thing is so dumb." You then quickly turned your head to Hopper, who had been listening helplessly, and caused him to jerk his head a bit in surprise. "What do you think?"

He was caught off guard by the question. "Uh, well... take a break from both of them. They sound like they're doing idiot things for good reasons, but they're jackasses if they're making you like this. Maybe you could try to be by yourself for a while."

You let out a breath and grinned. No matter what El or Mike said, you knew Hopper listened and you knew he was a smart person. In actuality, Hopper just wanted to say that these two were jackasses and that he should just arrest them for a day or two, but he knew you would get mad at him too, with your emotions all over the place.

You gave him a hug as he pulled up to your house. "Hopper you're a genius."

You happily got out of the car and went inside to your room, where Hopper smiled. He hoped you knew that he was there for you. That he could be your dad.

As you did your homework that night you got a call from your phone. When you answered, your face fell. "What do you want Steve?"

"Um, so you got home safe then?" He attempted to lighten the mood.

You sighed. "Goodbye Steve."

"No no no, wait! I'm sorry, I wanted to say that I'm sorry. We just really need to get him off of your ass, y'know?"

"I mean, he said he just wanted to be friends. Maybe we could go back to being just acquaintances?"

"God five, you'd think all things considered with you that you wouldn't be so stupid about this." Steve said this out of rage, but after hearing your soft gasp over the phone, he knew he just fucked up.

"Are you kidding me right now? You know what Steve, you'd think all things considered with you that you'd understand how hard it is for me to let him go, and how badly I want him back even though I know it's best to let him be."

"Five-"

"Don't ever call me that again!" You then hung up.

You breathed hard, trying to calm yourself down. You're not a crybaby. People who cry all the time are stupid, and you're not stupid. The damn telephone rang again, and you picked it up. "Damnit Steve, leave me alone!"

"Whoa there sweetheart, wrong guy."

You let out an involuntary breath of relief when you heard Billy's voice. It felt good to hear from him, but it just pained you in a worse way. He's trying his best to be perfect when you feel like you're too fucked up to even be allowed to have a boyfriend.

"Hi Billy." You said quietly, tears forming and your nose beginning to sting.

"What's wrong sweetheart?"

You sucked it a hard breath. "People keep telling me things that hurt."

You were really struggling to hold back the tears. "Y/n–"

"I have to go!" You slammed the phone back. You rolled up into a ball, and cried. Maybe you are stupid.

Once you exhausted yourself and stopped crying, you saw headlights flashing outside. You confusedly and sluggishly got up, since everyone was asleep by now, and saw Billy's car. He got out and said nothing, swiftly bringing you in for a hug. You hugged back. "C'mon, let's get you inside."

You only nodded and let him guide you. You knew that this wasn't right, but you were too damn exhausted with everything to do anything about it. He kicked off his shoes where he normally did, and took you to your room. He laid you down on your bed, and got in with you.

"You shouldn't be here." You quietly said as he tugged you into his chest. You didn't do anything to stop him, and instead embraced the smell you missed so much.

"Course I should." He took a deep breath, before continuing. "I'm sorry for adding all this stress to you. I know you've always been my little rule follower."

You felt the tears begin to sting in your eyes again. "Y'know, Hopper's always told us to follow the rules. That people who don't follow the rules are stupid, and we're not stupid. We can't be, and we won't be." You looked up at him. "I can't even follow my own rules. Why am I so stupid? How do I even do better?"

"You're not stupid. Don't ever say that about yourself again. Okay?" He spoke sternly, and you nodded your head while he wiped away a tear with his thumb. "You're just confused. It's okay to be confused about your feelings. Just as long as you don't have any for cock sucker Steve." You could practically hear his smile.

"Mm. You don't really think I'd have feelings for him, do you?"

"Nah, he's too vanilla."

You snuggled into his chest. "So are you, but only in private."

"Only with you baby." He grabbed your chin, and kissed your lips for a second before you pulled back. "Too soon, got it. Do you want me to leave?"

You sighed, knowing it's better if he did. But you felt so safe with him there. "After I fall asleep? Please."

"Course doll." And the two of you stayed like that until you fell asleep, when Billy gently kissed your unconscious lips and silently slipped out of the house and off to his. He went to sleep, content that he could still make you feel safe.

---

Tag List:

@roxytheimmortal @shane-isa-shame @actuallyazriel @tanovic54321 @chipster-21 @jula-bear @ellie2468 @sassysmiles @frozenhuntress67 @fansanctuary @homewrites @tearsforhan @waymorecake4me @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @dustyblueboo @grave-details @marvellover48 @i-want-to-shoot-myself @jjlizz @newsieunion @amieleahx @alli-cat-winer @chloe-skywalker @gracethegeek9902 @lovegood8114 @stargazerwriter78 @lucyrocks86 @lilbabybackwoods

[aestheticsuwu]

🌅Found Peace In Your Violence 🌅

Dean Winchester x Castiel

..... ..... ......... ....... ............ ....... .......

Moving to a new place for a new start was always hard for Castiel . He wasn't really a people person , not because he didn't like them . It was just that his " people skills " are " rusty " as he likes to say .

His mother and Father liked to adopt & foster until they divorced .

Father had gotten custody of everyone and got remarried to Becky , my mother used to call her the annoying , crazy ,bitch etc , etc . He wonders how she's doing , she wasn't quite the best mother but he still  remembers everyone that comes and goes from his life .

His family was weird , they weren't like other family's.  It always seemed to be a competition among each other . It even caused almost half his siblings to leave and never look back . Anna is probably living the craziest life with no rules . 

Balthazer is probably running a fashion line . Or maybe there all with Lucifer breaking the rules and rebelling to everything. Although he thinks Balthazar would have gone far away from those three . He was the one he miss the most .

Father doesn't like talking about them , maybe he doesn't cares . We were after all kids he took in his home to create a batallion of soldiers that's what Gabriel says all the time . It was now 9 members of the family that was left  .  His Father , Becky , their son Alfie , Michael the oldest , Gabriel the trickster,   Eileen Leahy his favorite sister , she was the last child to be recruited from the foster house . I was the youngest one from the rest of the herd .

..... ..... .....

His Mother was the first to go , should he still call her that . Once the divorce papers was filed , Naomi packed her stuff and slammed the door shut . Castiel waited for her to come back that night . Hours went by but she never came back .

Anna soon left after , She had left in there middle of the night .

Father wasn't upset he just announced that we should move soon .

3 week before moving , dad and Raphael had a fight . Father faced him and gave him ultimatum,  it had seemed for a while everything was alright . But Lucifer had other plans ,he had managed to convince raph that he shouldn't listen to father .

The move was cancelled , and when Gabriel had started prank wars against everyone Father wasn't even there to ground him . Balthazar told his siblings that he would soon move out he was 18 after all . He talked about his dreams , plans and adventures . Michael and lucifer didn't sticked around to listen  only Gabriel,  Eileen,  and him .

He promised that every time he would go visit a different place he would bring back souvenirs . And once he was stabled they would take a family trip together .

In their last hug castiel didn't want to let go , something told him that he wasn't gonna see him anymore .

When he was  15 , standing near  the porch in front the house waiting for Balthazar to appear until father shouted his name . They had to get on the road to head to their new home . All he could do was hold Eileen and Gabriel's hand .

..... ... .....

 Everything was calm , other than the fear of not knowing if you were the next victim of Gabriel's prank list .

Eileen was teaching him to get better at sign language . Michael was going to college while Lucifer was only 17 but seemed no to be interested in school . Becky had Alfie.  Silence didn't exist in the household .

. And for once he had a friend , He was kinda surprised she stucked around.

Her name was Kelly Kline , she was in the debate team and a Straight A student . He met her through Eileen . He understood why they both got along . Both were strong minded girls and didn't let anybody tell them shit .

Kelly wanted to make a change and she wanted both Eileen and him to help her . And to this day he doesn't understand why the world took her away soon .

She was pretty , she had raven hair and had a kind smile . She taught him good things can come out of the bad things . She made him want to do things he normally wouldn't do .

So he honestly didn't understand what she saw in Lucifer. They would constantly bicker but yet  they were together . Eileen would just let him rant about bees because she preferred that instead of seeing him wallow .

Gabriel would often give him advice that would make her  be interested but it usually involve some porno Gabe once watched . And Castiel usually didn't know If he was kidding or not .

But then suddenly His brother and best friend broke up . Kelly wanted to go out and forget she ever dated an asshole . Lucky for her They were invited to a party .

He doesn't quite remember that much of that night .

" Are you sure you want to do this . I think we are extremely intoxicated and not in our right minds . And we might doing a mistake that we will regret , I'm not saying I regret making out with you cause your an amazing girl I have ever meet besides Eileen but that's different cause she's my sister and I don't think of her that way , And now I made this so awkward by bringing up m- "

A hand covering his mouth making him stop ranting . looking up to see her , and the fear he once had just vanished just by looking at her smile

" Castiel ! There are alot of regrets that I have done including that I ever got involve with that douchebag . I just want to make a choice that I know won't end up as a mistake . "

..... ...... .....

That choice was inevitable to hide , not because both Kelly and castiel started a somewhat relationship . It was revealed on a Thursday that Kelly was pregnant .

Lucifer was never one take responsibility for his actions , so he told her to get rid of it .

" yeah I'm not planning to do some father bonding or give up my plans for a baby that might not even be mine . Hey you can't lie and deny that you haven't been jumping back and forth with Novak brothers . But wow really castiel , but look at the bright side you can dump all that responsibility to him . He will believe anything - ".

The sound of the slap that Kelly gave him echoed but it wasn't enough so she kneed him on the balls and lastly punched him .

" I hope you rot in hell , "

That was the last conversation she had with him when Eileen told her he had left the house .  

... ..... ..... ..... ....

Father never showed  how it affected him when his children left . But now that Lucifer left , he started to drink again and he looked sad .

He shook it off when it had been a week later . It  seemed a good time to mention someone pregnancy.  Father didn't think the same , he was quite mad , especially when it was revealed that they weren't sure who the father was . He remained calm afterwards when they all agreed it was 90 percent Lucifers .

Castiel was only 18 and now left with the mess of his own brother .

Once he graduated he stopped seeing Kelly for 5 months . Eileen would lecture him how he was being a bad friend , how he should be more supportive. He let 2 more months pass by and he couldn't help but ask Eileen how was Kelly doing .

That's how he end up in her room , Kelly was glowing . She had belly bump , He apologized for not being by her side , for letting their friendship tumble down the drain . She forgave him , discussing what they had missed . Avoiding the topic of the elephant of the room , until the baby kicked .

Castiel loved the baby already .

..... ..... .....

They never really tackled in depth of truth of who was the father . Castiel didn't put mind into it , since he felt the baby move he doesn't know how to explain it . it was like epiphany , a connection. 

So he soon took the role , he read books , used the internet , asked some questions from Becky that rambled on and on but he still got information he needed .  In favor that he would learn and be ready when his baby would come . He helped Becky with Alfie  , at first it was hard but then it was fine

" your gonna be alright , you got this castiel . "

" I hope so . "

... .... ..... .... .... .... .....

It happened so fast , his mind was so confused one second he's in bed and then he's at the hospital . Every time she would scream of pain he felt bad . his hand was hurting from the way she was holding it .She  held a grimace from every contraction .

" It hurts so much , I don't think I can't do it . Ahhh baby you have to go easy on mommy . "

She screamed again of agony , she hold his hand tighter as if it would help from the pain .

" You can , your strong and soon we will be at home I'll be taking care of our baby while you rest and sleep . How does that sound ? "

" That sounds like the best idea "

..... ...... ...... ....

He feels like he failed , he could've done something or maybe done something different . He didn't think Kelly would leave him , she promised no to . He guess it wasn't a coincidence,  life seemed to take everything from him .

Today was supposed to be the happiest day in his life . Now he's holding onto his siblings , crying seemed it would help but the feeling wouldn't go away .

" Its gonna be alright cassie , it's gonna get better . "

He really hoped Gabe was right .

...

He was following the nurses that was leading him to his baby . He didn't even got to see his newborn , it just happened to fast .

The nurse open the door wide to let him pass , his hands were shaking waiting for her directions .

" Here they are , seems like they were waiting for dad to come see them . Congratulations Mr Novak and I'm sorry for you loss ."

stunned he couldn't answer , he had his eyes only for them . he heard the door close he assumed she left to give him privacy . Tears started to build up but of happiness. 

"  We're gonna be ok , I will do my best because your all I got . I love you so much , Mommy loved you so much but she had to go rest . I think she deserves it , how ironic how she always said there was an angel watching you over . Now you do , . "

Chuckling , as he wipes away his tears  trying to compose himself . Letting out a shaky breath he starts speaking again .

" I guess is time to give you a name , bear this in mind when the time comes be thankful I didn't give you a horrendous name . You in the other hand are lucky because Kelly had already picked out one for you  . "

Smiling as they both made a noise that seemed they were going along with him on the conversation. 

.... ..... .

" I'm so ready to meet my nephew !! , I'm so excited !!! "

" shhh  "        " shhhhhhh" 

                   "shh "      " Shhh "          "sHhhh"

It wasn't like Gabriel was screaming , sheesh these people sometimes , ready to respond he stays quiet when he sees his brother motioning his family to come closer .

" Say Hello to Jack and Claire Novak . "

.... ..... ..... ..... ... .....

His kids were his pride and young , he will admit he struggled at first but with the help of his siblings he catched on . They had already turned two , they were growing so fast . Both are so smart and beautiful .

Claire with her beautiful blue eyes and blonde hair that were in pigtails in the moment . She was a troublemaker but love her endlessly.  Jack is his small bee , he was tiny and adorable . The kid loves nougat , he blames it on Gabriel.  He also had blonde hair but he had golden eyes .

He wants the best for his kids , thats why  he was contemplating on Gabriel's plan to move .

Gabe was planning to open another bakery ,

since his last three was successful and was trying expand his work . Father was quite happy with Gabriel , he helped with everything he could do . As usual Gabe took advantage and stacked up on candy , his response was always with

 " he won't even notice , he has enough and more . So shut up and help me decided between those two , who am i kidding Im taking  both . " 

Eileen was going with Gabriel,  something about a fresh start . Michael was only going to keep an eye on his siblings  , Fathers orders . And his big brother isn't one to disobey  , he was gonna get paid for babysitting gabe . His study's are kept on hold until father says so .

Castiel didn't  know what to do . He was a highschool dropout , father of fraternal twins , relying with the money of his father and it wasn't like someone is waiting for him here .

Maybe this would do him good and for his kids .

Gabriel went full on screamed of joy that he had accepted,  screaming that they were gonna have a blast . Michael was boxing their stuff fully knowing the trickster of his brother wouldn't do it , he turns to look at the youngest giving him a pointed look .

..... ..... ..... ...

Gabriel was full on rambling of why he choose the location . He wanted a challenge and one of the many things he loves to do is

1: Himself

2:Candy

3: Pranks

4: proving Dad wrong

Once the trickster told his father his plans , he told him no . To him is practically a Yes , he wasn't planning getting him self involved , oh well  you gotta do what you gotta do .

Michael was pissed but hey he could just for once say no to dad . Eileen and Castiel and his nephew coming along was the best thing of the trip . He might even admit that he's kinda glad dad forced his big bro to come along .

The perks of having a wealthy father is that they had everything solved . Airplane . Check . Ride CHECK.  House check . Moving Truck . Check . Schelduing everything on the same date ...........

It wasn't his fault , who would in their right mind would leave him with all that responsibility.  They got to their flight , the ride into country , House was there and with their boxes surrounding it . Hey they got Michael might as well put use to his muscles .

..... .... ... ..... ....

" Only you would do this Gabriel , I don't know why I let you drag me into this "

" Look at the bright side , were surrounded with some hot cowboys " Eileen spoke and signed with a mischievous smirk .

" see cassie , even Eileen  not complaining , just relax . Take a deep breath and - Ok you grab that box and I will take the heavier one . "

Gabe said as to fool Michael they were helping but as the annoyed glared they were all receiving it was obviously the 3 younger siblings were just resting .

" Your doing well Michael keep up the good work "

They all burst out laughing when the oldest retorted with a angry 'Shut up ! '

" Maybe we should help " She said & signed to both of them .

" yeah , I'm gonna go check on the kids , they might wake up any --- . "

Turning around to see where the noise was coming from , he took in the sight of a sleek  black jaguar . Squinting to block the sun , he hears the person above signalling the horse to halt .

" I wasn't informed new people were moving in , Welcome . "

  Removing his stetson , he looks at them but his gaze fall onto the bluest eye he had ever seen and the cutest head tilt . Making his Voice huskier and putting on his best smile he asked .

" Dean Winchester .

              Need A Hand , Angel ? "

..... ...... . ... ...... ...... .....

[cherry-ber]

Too drunk to fuck pt. 5

Part 1 | Previous

A.N 1: it really took me all this time to get my shit together and bring you content, I'm sorry about that but let's get back to where we left it.

Mom and dad weren't really impressed by Mark. Although your dad didn't dispice him, he thought he was just a dumb boy playing, and he didn't want you to fall for him, truth be told, you didn't want that either. But on the other hand, your mother said she saw "something special" in him; you knew immediately what she meant. When someone finally looked through his bad boy act, Mark Lee was a caring person, a very creative guy, and an amazing friend, or so you thought.

Despite the warning of your parents about not going out, when Jaemin picked you up you rushed to his car, completely ignoring whatever they were saying, and forgetting your keys and phone charger, but seeing Jaemin smiling when he saw you made you ignore this.

“Hey, there's been a change in our plans, you still in?” he looked almost worried, he was nervous and blushing.

“Well I'm already grounded so I'm in, I guess” he laughed and went to open the door for you.

After driving for some minutes, he finally spoke again.

“So I actually have to go shopping and I figured you could help me to buy, you know the right things”

“Ooh, shopping. Well I guess I can do it, what are we looking for?”

When you arrived to the mall and he parked, he helped you out of the car again and started waking holding your hand.

“Well, you see, it's Jeno's birthday and I totally forgot to plan something cool, so Renjun is busy, Mark is out of town and Jisung and Chenle are still babies and not coming, again” He spoke like he was feeling really guilty about it, you knew already that Jeno was his best friend, and you could only imagine how bad they would both feel.

“So, what are you thinking about? Shall we buy him a cool gift or something simple and maybe order something to eat?”

You barely knew Jeno. You knew he was sweet and everything, but you didn't know anything about him, so it was hard to give Jaemin some advice.

“Well, I've been saving some cash, it was supposed to go to an important cause but this is probably very much worth it”

You walked for hours finding a perfect outfit, he bought Jeno expensive shoes, jeans, a shirt, and even a tie. Then he made you pick a watch, that got engraved a corny quote that Jaemin insisted on getting. You wondered where all that money came from, and when you got back to his car, he explained you, perhaps noticing you were curious.

“I was a dealer at school for some time, okay? I know it's not a good thing to do but it pays well”

He was pissed, but you knew you couldn't blame him, he wanted money and when you're young, there are very little things to can do to get it.

“That's alright, it's your savings after all” you tried to show him you weren't judging him

He stopped at the supermarket.

“Y/N, do you think we're bad people, is that why you hang out with us?”

“No, Jaemin. I think you all are funny, and for the record, I «hang out with you» because you spoke to me first. Do you think I'm dumb, is that why you hang out with me?”

He put in the cart vegetables and meat, he also bought a bottle of wine and cigarettes.

“I don't think you're dumb, I think you are hot”

Maybe he spoke too loud, because the lady at the check out looked at him as if he just said the dumbest thing she ever heard (which he did).

“That's fucking gross”

“I'm kidding, okay, sorry”

He payed and drove to Jeno's place. You still didn't know what was his plan, but you went with the flow.

He called Jeno and told him to get ready for dinner, and that he was bringing him some cake. Jeno, on the speaker, sounded really excited and it made your heart melt when he said he wasn't expecting that. When you arrived, Jaemin honked and parked, getting everything out of the trunk. Jeno came out excited and smiling, he was very happy about his best friend coming over in his birthday, even when he decided to bring basically a stranger and not the rest of his friends.

“Hello Y/N, I wasn't expecting you, I'm so glad you came”

You wished him a happy birthday, and hugged him. He was like a puppy, he hugged you back and thanked both of you for making him some company on his birthday.

“The boys called earlier, I figured no one would come over, I'm surprised you did”

Jaemin swallowed and proceeded to explain that his gift was a fancy date with a fancy outfit with his un-fancy friends. Jeno loved the idea, and as soon as Jaemin gave him the clothes, he ran to his room to get changed. Meanwhile, you and Jaemin cooked with the help of the internet, astonished that he didn't burn down the place.

Dinner was amazing, they shared all of their memories together and you learned why they loved each other so much, you laughed and got to know them better. You didn't notice when your phone died, so when they said it was 10 p.m, you asked Jaemin to give you a ride back home. You said your goodbyes to Jeno and he thanked you for spending your day with him. You thanked him for making you feel welcomed.

The drive back home was full of Jaemin thanking you for your help and for making Jeno happy, since he really thought you were cool and enjoyed your company after you met them. He stopped suddenly some blocks away from your house, and turned to you.

“I know I shouldn't say this, Y/N, but after spending the day with you, I know I definitely like you” you were speechless. You knew Jaemin was a flirt, so you allowed it, but you never thought he meant anything of what he said, Mark. It seemed like no matter what you did or where you were, everything went back to Mark.

Still too shocked to say something back, you gave everything a second thought. Mark was cool, he was attractive and whatever, but he'd never do anything like this with you. Jaemin was funny, and sweet, and apparently not afraid of showing what he felt and expressing his emotions. Jaemin figured that the only way of trying to get a response from you was making a move, and so he did. He held your hand between his, and turned your head so you'd look at him. You felt like you were blushing and he smiled. His left hand went to your cheek, while the right one kept caressing your palm. His lips were getting closer to yours, and just as he was almost kissing you, his phone rang like crazy. You told him to pick it up, so he put it on the speaker.

“Man, are you busy right now? I think I'm in trouble” The voice on the other line sounded so anxious, you almost failed to recognize it. But it was undeniably Mark “I really need your help”.

Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A. N 2: UGH MAN I'M SO SORRY FOR REAL. I'm so sleepy, but I just wanted to post this, I'll add the link to the previous part tomorrow. I haven't slept in DAYS, my sleeping schedule is so fucked tbh. If you read this, thank you very much, and if you waited for the upload, thank you so absolute much, and sorry again. I also finally got the plot for my sort of horror story project I had before getting on hiatus. I hope you're doing well guys, I hope you liked this, too. It's short because I am doubting y'all wanna read this lmao.

[justanotherlifeff]

Levi Ackerman × reader

Genre: Angst, Hurt/comfort, Fluff, matured themes, slowburn

Warning: There's mentions and descriptions of underage rape and suicidal themes and self harm and other triggering stuff.

(Y/N) POV

"You want my advice on where to buy a house?" Hanji asked, completely confused. I personally was confused too because it was obvious that Hanji would give some really psychotic answer. Even if I didn't consider that, it was not like Levi to ask for advice about something as personal as buying a house. Though it struck to me as unusual, I decided to let it off my head. "What about a house in Ragako? Your kid would get to see a titan before even joining the survey corps!" Hanji advised with her psychotic expression. "Shouldn't have asked you" Levi muttered as an answer to Hanji before turning to me and asking, "How about asking the squad? Aren't you close to them?". I was getting suspicious of his behaviour but I chose to keep quiet about it. " Uh...sure?" I answered to that. "Okay. They should be at the common hall after lunch. We could see them there" Levi muttered as he ate the stew.

We walked towards the common room when we were done having lunch. "Levi, are you feeling well?" I asked him on our way as I was feeling suspicious of his behaviour. "Huh? No, I'm fine. Why?" Levi asked raising an eyebrow. "Uh.. Well, it's not like you to ask for advice from anyone except uncle Erwin. It just seemed a bit odd" (Y/N) replied. "(Y/N), what part of this whole thing isn't odd? Do I look like the kind of guy who would get married, have kids, buy a house and all that shit? However, exactly that is happening and, well, I guess I have to do things that I wouldn't normally do." Levi explained himself. I decided that his explanation was fair enough and didn't question him more. "Oh, by the way, you'll do the talking. They're your batch mates after all" Levi added as he walked with me.

"You guys, we need help to choose where to get a house. It would've been helpful if you all had any suggestions." I told the squad. They were all in the common room as Levi predicted. I heard Historia was here but I didn't expect to find her with the others. "Well, you could get one at Dauper village. The scenic beauty there is amazing!" Sasha exclaimed. "You could visit the farmhouse I grew up in. I'll make an orphanage there later and you can keep your kids in my care when you all go to expeditions." Historia chimed in. "Oi, (Y/N), leave all that and try my house in Trost. It's the safest district now as the gate is blocked." Jean bragged. "Well, since you've given us so many options, let's just give all of it a shot" Levi told them.

"So, you're proposing that we will visit all of those places? That will take some time..." I told Levi, expressing my concern. "Well, we don't have much to do here. Everyone, saddle your horses. We are leaving in an hour." Levi commanded. It was decided that we would visit Dauper first, have some snacks at Sasha's home. Second, we would go to Historia's farmhouse. From there, we would go to Trost, see some properties for sale there, and come back to Capital Mitras by midnight. Sasha, Levi and myself were going for the trip.

Two hours later

We rode to Dauper with Sasha on lead. When we reached Sasha's home, a horde of children and villagers were in front of Sasha's home. Everyone came to see Sasha, now a member of the most elite squad of the survey corps. The way her father boasted about her to the villagers made me wonder, what if I had a father like that? Mr (L/N), my adoptive father tried his best and I respect him dearly for that, but, he never really bragged about me to people. I was home-schooled because of my reputation after all. I barely got out of my home, except for, of course, training sessions with uncle Erwin. As I thought about it, I realised that maybe it was my fault. After all, I never gave him much of a chance to boast.

Having a daughter who murdered one of his fellow comrades must've been hard enough for him. People glanced at us as they didn't expect to see Levi with a woman. Sure, I was on the front page of the newspaper once, but I was no where near as popular as Levi. Sasha's father cooked squirrel meat for us with Sasha but we couldn't finish eating it because I found three centipedes crawling on the table and discovered that I'm terrified of them.

They looked horrible and I probably never felt my heart stop like this before, not even when I came across titans. Levi decided that the place was too unsanitary and living in the middle of a forest will surely bring more insects, and thus, without much delay, we went for Historia's farmhouse. Sasha asked for permission to stay with her father for a while and Levi granted it. I doubted if he was becoming a softie due to my pregnancy.

The farmhouse was a really nice place but Levi decided that it's too far away from any market place and permanently living there is impossible because of that. After going to Trost, we browsed a few properties and we found one that seemed suiting. The house was near the inner walls, not too far from the market, had a nice front yard and back yard. It had three bedrooms, two of which were upstairs, a sitting room, a dining room and a big kitchen.

There were bathrooms in all of the bedrooms and the master bedroom even had a tub. The house being in Trost made things more convenient because, after all, the next expedition will be commenced from Trost. Levi booked the house and filling out the paperwork took long enough. By the time we reached Capital Mitras, it was already 11:45. "That was a long day. I really need some rest now." I yawned as I went for Levi's room with Levi behind me. The room was dark when I went in and suddenly, I felt someone jump at me.

No one's POV

An hour before lunch

As Hanji was taking (Y/N)'s report card and birth certificate to Erwin's office, she noticed something on the birth certificate. (Y/N)'s birthday was tomorrow. The walls were in peace and this was (Y/N)'s first birthday after joining the Survey corps, so, Hanji decided that it should be celebrated. With that in her mind, she went to Erwin's office to find Historia discussing something with Erwin. "I've got (Y/N)'s documents" Hanji reported. Erwin took the papers from her as she started mentioning, "I noticed that (Y/N)'s birthday is tomorrow. As her friend, I wanted the permission to celebrate it?".

"I see. Well, I don't recall the (L/N)s ever celebrating her birthday. Probably because the date on her birth certificate is the date when she got rescued. We had no way of knowing her real birthday. I think it would be a nice gesture. Permission granted." Erwin answered. "Hanji-san? Can I help with the arrangements? (Y/N) owed me a cake" Historia chimed in. "Yes.. Of course, your highness" Hanji answered, shocked by Historia's sudden interest in doing something about (Y/N)'s birthday.

"We can plan things in your office, yes?" Historia inquired with a smile. "Yes, of course. Feel free to come by whenever you want. I'll be there." Hanji smiled before leaving the room. She went to her office to find Moblit arranging her books. He always managed to help her out about staying tidy. She assumed that if Moblit wasn't around, Levi probably would've died of a heart attack after visiting Hanji's office. After all, he did knock her out to make her take a bath a couple of times.

"Hey, Moblit, we need to hurry things up. Queen Historia might visit my office soon. She probably won't appreciate the mess." Hanji told Moblit as she walked towards her table and took a handful of books to put in her shelf. "Hanji-san... Did (Y/N) talk to you?" Moblit asked Hanji in a meek voice as he picked up some books from the floor. "Yes she did. When are we going on that date?" Hanji asked, with a tint of blush on her face as she kept the books on the shelf.

The books in Moblit's hands fell to the floor as Moblit asked with shock written all over his face, "You're really considering it?". "Why won't I?" Hanji asked, slightly confused. After all, she assumed, that it would be obvious that she would consider it as Moblit had been always beside her, reminding her to eat or sleep when she overworked herself on her experiments. He was always worried for her well being and Hanji found it alluring beyond measure. Before further words could be exchanged between the newly formed couple, Historia entered the room.

"Hanji-san, could we plan the preparation now? My meeting with Commander Erwin is done and I hoped to make plans on the arrangements for (Y/N)'s birthday before going back to the castle." Historia said. "Yes, of course. I was planning to get (Y/N) busy in something and arrange a surprise party for her? Nothing too fancy of course, just Levi squad, Commander Erwin and my squad since she doesn't have much friends. We could arrange it in Levi's office since the state of it is not quiet. Great." Hanji explained as she pointed at the huge piles of books and torn papers on the floor. "I see. Shouldn't we inform everyone about the party in that case? I will arrange the food and anything else you would need for decoration." Historia answered.

"Ah, yes. Moblit, ask Levi squad and Commander Erwin to come to my office immediately." Hanji commanded Moblit as he ran off to get everyone. Everyone except Levi was there in a few minutes. "Hanji-san, I didn't find Levi Heichou anywhere" Moblit informed Hanji. "I didn't expect you to find him. He's busy" Hanji answered with a smirk recalling about how she walked onto them a while back. The plan was explained to everyone before they went for lunch. The plan was simple, Erwin mentioned that Levi was supposed to buy a house and thus that could be used as an excuse to get (Y/N) away from Levi's room.

Everyone with a hometown was told to act like their hometown is the best place to get a house and Levi was supposed to get (Y/N) to go take a look at the places. "She should be getting married as soon as possible. After all, rumours about her pregnancy has already been spreaded and that will give her a bad image if she isn't married. This could also help then speed up the process. " Erwin sighed. All that was left to do was letting Levi know about the plan. "Erwin, I'll send Levi when he arrives for lunch. Could you please inform him about the plan?" Hanji asked Erwin. "Yes. Of course." Erwin answered before going back to his office

During lunch

"So, you're saying that I will have to ask for advice from some kids from my squad about where I'll buy a house and you think that (Y/N) won't suspect anything. Erwin, did you hit your head somewhere?" Levi answered to Erwin after Erwin said the plan to him. "Levi, do you have a better plan? After all, everything you are doing nowadays is quiet...unusual. A few months back, if anyone told me that you'd get my niece pregnant and try to marry her in a matter of about two months, I'd laugh at them. You can probably make this excuse to some use too." Erwin said in a serious tone.

"Okay. I trust your judgement. I'll use your reasoning to try to make (Y/N) think that all these isn't a hoax." Levi simply answered before leaving Erwin's office. He wondered how he could bring the topic up, given that he normally wouldn't just ask for advice from random people. Suddenly it struck to him. Hanji was a good friend and asking Hanji at the beginning would raise less suspicion. Plus, Hanji would definitely be surprised at his way of changing the plan as asking Hanji wasn't included. "Hanji, where do you reckon we should buy a house?" he asked. Hanji's expression was just what he hoped for.

As phase 1 of the plan was successfully completed, phase 2 was taking place. Levi's office was more than clean and tidy enough so, Hanji and the others didn't have to get bothered with that. Connie and Armin were sent to bring garlands for decorating the office by a tad bit while Historia's castle chefs were already cooking the dinner. By the time everything came together, it was already 11 pm. The food were placed in trays, Sasha, who arrived at 10 pm was kept in a different room so that she won't eat everything up, a garland was placed on Levi's table and the room was cleaned by Eren after all the decoration was done since so many people walking around made the room quiet dirty and Eren insisted that if it isn't cleaned, Levi would take all of their heads.

Hanji couldn't disagree much about that. Levi was supposed to get (Y/N) in the room just at 12 and the room was supposed to be darkened and Hanji personally planned to jump at her and give her a hug. The plan went perfectly till Hanji went for the hug and got thrown on her ass by (Y/N).

Levi POV

I honestly saw that coming. Sure, I was able to book a house thanks to this whole plan but I was completely sure that if anyone jumps at (Y/N) in the darkness, they would be flipped in the air. At least I would do that for sure. The lamps were turned on after Hanji was thrown to the ground and (Y/N) looked genuinely surprised by all the decorations. "What's the meaning of all these?" she asked softly, her voice filled with curiosity.

"Well, we were trying to surprise you for your birthday. I mean, we don't know your real birthday but this is what's on your birth certificate so... Hey, you didn't have to throw me so hard." Hanji muttered while getting up. "I... I thought you were a burglar... Thank you. All of you. " (Y/N)'s voice cracked as she said this. A small smile formed on her lips while a single drop of tear escaped her eye. Right then Sasha barged inside the room with Connie running behind her to catch her. I was slightly annoyed because of this as I was quiet enjoying (Y/N)'s reaction.

I expected her to react like that because, as Erwin mentioned, she never had a birthday before. I had to admit, even I had birthdays when my mother was alive. It wasn't much, my mother cooked a chicken stew with the low grade chicken stock and bony pieces of chicken she would get in the market. Back then, it was the most delicious thing I had ever eaten, but, that was probably because she was an amazing cook. We would have a good Christmas dinner as well as a birthday treat as both were in the same day.

"There are two cakes... Meat... Bread... Steamed potato..." Sasha whispered as she was shaking. "(Y/N) asked me to get you a cake remember? I decided that I'll get one only for you" Historia told Sasha. To that, Sasha fell on her knees saying, "I've been blessed by goddesses!" while crying.

The smile on (Y/N)'s face was growing larger by the second as everyone wished her happy birthday. She hugged Erwin, and surprisingly, Hanji too. As she was talking to the squad, mostly thanking them, I walked to Erwin and said, "I booked a house in Trost. Seems like you were right about using this situation to speed up the process of the wedding.". "I see. I recommend that you buy the furniture from the retailer who makes our office furniture. After all, that desk I'm using now has been used for decades." Erwin answered. "I'll consider it" I replied to that.

The cake was cut, everyone had dinner, and when it was time to leave, I called Eren and told him, "Oi Eren, clean the room. I'll give you 30 minutes.". Saying that, I walked towards (Y/N), who was saying goodnight to Hanji as she was leaving. " (Y/N), Eren will clean the room. Let's go to the balcony here." I told her. She followed me to the balcony in the east wing. The last time I came here, I was with Farlan and Isabel. We didn't move to the headquarters back then as there wasn't much time before the expedition. The scouts were in wall Sina for the mission of picking us up from the underground. We moved to the headquarters in Wall Maria after that mission.

I've been in this branch after loosing Farlan and Isabel but, I never tried to go back to that balcony. Being here with (Y/N) made me feel emotions that I stopped feeling long ago. What if Farlan and Isabel were alive? They would've been very happy about the fact that I will get married. I was sitting exactly where I sat all those years ago and (Y/N) sat where Farlan did. "They wrote 'Happy 19th birthday (Y/N)' on the cake" (Y/N) said with a chuckle. I raised an eyebrow at her and asked, "Aren't you 19?". (Y/N) looked away from me at the starry sky.

"I don't know. They assumed my age before taking me to the (L/N)s. My pimp apparently told them that I was working there for two years. I looked too young and malnourished, so, they decided that I was 7 as any child under 5 couldn't survive rape. There was no way of knowing my actual age, my actual birthday, my real parents, anything. All I remember about my birth mother is a name. They searched the birth registers because selling off a minor is a crime but they didn't find anyone of that name. That, however, is common in the underground." (Y/N) sighed.

"(Y/N), you'll be a better mother than yours. Our child won't face things like that. We will make sure of it. Maybe, that would give both of us some peace." I answered to (Y/N). I didn't know a better way to make her feel better. "You're right." (Y/N) told me with a smile. Her strength amazed me. I stared at her for a moment. She, indeed, was the most beautiful woman I ever laid my eyes on.

To be continued...

Taglist: @reality-is-often-disappointing, @kingtamakimurder

[staytiny-angel]

Safe Haven 2/?

Co-written with @scream-qween

Pairings: Drew McIntyre/Becky Lynch, Eventually Drew McIntyre/Becky Lynch/Seth Rollins, Jon Moxley/Renee Young, Sasha Banks/Bayley/Charlotte Flair

Warnings: Violence, Language

Word Count: 1799

Summary: After an 8-year absence, 25-year-old Seth Rollins returns home to his pack but in no way resembling the Beta Werewolf that ran away after a violent misunderstanding with his brothers.

Seth is feral, and trapped in a form the bitten wolf shouldn't even be capable of, it turns out that he is the victim of a powerful curse that would make him a mindless slave.

Meanwhile Alpha Werewolf Drew McIntyre and his Part Banshee, Part Sea Witch mate Becky Lynch have joined the unorthodox pack of Haven in search of the final member of the Triad a seer told the pair they were destined to be apart of.

Taglist: @sethsevolution  @feathers-and-flesh-and-wrestling @deepdisireslonging  @writtingrose  @pikapuff316 @hitory--chan @finnsauroraborealis @the-beastslayers-queen

Becky slowly walked toward the cage, not taking her eyes away from the deadly predator currently staring at her with golden-brown eyes. Kneeling next to her mate she took his hand in hers and hesitantly reached through the thick sliver infused bars with the other.

Seth lifted his massive body up to sniff almost delicately at her hand before whining in the back of his throat and laying back down.

"I believe that's a 'Yes, you can touch me', Spitfire" Drew says with a slight smile.

Becky took a deep breath and reached into the bars again waiting until Seth lifted his head up to smell it once more. "If he bites me, I'm killing Reigns" she muttered. Much to her surprise however, Seth let out a content like a sigh and nudged her hand with his snout.

"He let you touch him?!" Roman exclaimed in surprise, causing Seth to growl at the sound of his big brother's voice

"Shut the fuck up, Alpha," Becky said quietly, "If he bites me I'll fucking drown you, dry land or no"

"Shhh, It's okay." Becky uncharacteristically cooed gently at the trapped wolf "That big dumb brother of yours won't say another fucking word."

Becky started to chant underneath her breath and an ocean blue light surrounded both the hand holding Drew's and the one she had placed on Seth's head.

Seth closed his eyes, sighing, revealing dark brown eyes, as Becky's magic faded. "Becky!" Drew yelled as the redhead almost collasped. "I'm fine, he's fine"

Seth barked in response, wagging his tail. "Fucking dork" Roman chuckled

"You might want to get the siren" Becky said shaking her head to clear it. "That curse is a fucked up thing, it's powered from his life energy. I managed to block it from siphoning more off of him but I don't know how long my shield will last"

Becky stood up and flipped the latches on the cage door and opened it. Seth practically lept at the redhead knocking her back down

"Becky!" Drew called out

"I'm okay," Becky said on an almost giggle as the 400-pound werewolf licked her face and nuzzled at her like an overgrown puppy

The sounds of footsteps pounded down the basement stairs as Hunter, Stephanie, Mox and another heavily bearded man with an acoustic guitar strapped across his back filled the basement

"Hey baby brother," Mox said as Seth ran over to him, Stephanie petting his head. Roman slowly got up and left, Seth noticing and whining. "He's wondering about that" Elias said, sounding bored. "Give him time to adjust honey, he hasn't forgiven himself"

Seth yipped in response shaking his head "You've been gone a long time doll, shit changes." Elias told him before sitting cross-legged in front of the wolf and placing a hand on Seth's head, a green glow surrounding both of them. "Whatever shield you put up against the curse...magic can get through to him easily now." He says to Becky

"Don't get used to this, brat." The acerbic man tells Seth, "You owe me free coffee and a place to perform for the rest of my life once you get your shop up and running. No offense to Cesaro, but his coffee will never be as good as yours"

Seth somehow managed to make an expression of disgust and grunted at the siren

"Now you and your Alpha will hold up your end of the bargain?" Drew asked Mox.

"Sure, if you like sharing your food with a pair of vampires" Mox replied with a shit-eating grin

"WHAT?! You betray our kind" Drew snapped, Seth, stepping in between them and barking.

"He says thank you for helping him but please don't disrespect his family, ANY of his family," Elias says to Drew quietly

"Violet babysat him when he was little" Stephanie says "Finn played Lego with him, they are his family. We only found him in the woods because Violet smelled the blood from the mansion" the older witch shook her head.

"If Violet and Finn had been anything other then Vampires, they absolutely would have raised him themselves. It broke their hearts just as much as ours when he left" Hunter added

Seth whined "Oh yeah kid, you're in deep shit. Queenie is gonna get you for running off like a little bitch" Elias says with a nasty smirk

Seth looked down guiltily and nudged his brother. Mox immediately began petting his head. "Who did this to you?" Drew asked Seth who barked in response

"What?!" Elias' magic flashed poison green before settling back into a more mellow shade "Paul Heyman?! He says he went looking for his birth parents. He wanted to know where he came from...about a year ago he got in a fight with Heyman's pet monster and ended up like this. Hold on you've been like this for a fucking year?!" Elias exclaimed "You were trapped in full shift for a year. You were only feral for 3 months the best that you can guess?"

Seth whined, and looked down. "Seth, honey. Why didn't you tell me? I could have found them" Stephanie said.

"He didn't want to" Mox said. "That's what we fought about. I said that they were probably dead. Ro...he said he'd be turning his back on us if he went looking for them. Roman lost his temper and attacked him, that's why Seth ran"

Seth howled "I'm sorry little brother. I...shouldn't have said that bullshit." Mox says dropping to the ground and wrapping his arms around his brother.

"That's where I know that curse from" Stephanie says quietly "Heyman. He developed it. It strips Born Shifters of their humanity....holy shit. That's why it didn't work on you, Starshine. Heyman's curse only works fully on Born Shifters. He must have assumed you were one."

"We have to turn Seth back to normal first," Mox said firmly. "Before I rip Heyman to pieces"

"Take him to Finn and Violet," Elias said, "You can turn him back now I assume?" He says looking at Becky and Stephanie

Stephanie nodded looking at Becky "If you can keep your shield spell up, I know the counter curse for this. I've done it for someone else in our pack that used to be one of Heyman's pets. Cesaro wasn't under it for as long as Seth has been."

"Your gonna need a big ass circle for this one, boss lady." Elias told her "and you are definitely gonna need Balor to fortify it. A lot of energy is pent up inside Twinkle here."

"Can I ask what's with all the star references? He wears a shooting star necklace too." Becky asks

Seth dropped to the floor in embarrassment, "Oh its because he's obsessed with space." Stephanie explained with a smile "He wanted to be an Astronomer when he was a little boy"

Seth let out a series of mumbles that made Elias chuckle. "He still has that potty mouth"

"Do you think Heyman knows that the spell didn't work on Seth?" Hunter finally speaks up

"Let's hope he didn't think it wasn't powerful enough, last thing we need is him boosting his magic" Stephaine replies

"Are you strong enough for this?" Stephanie asked Becky, who nodded. "Let's finish it and bring him back." The younger woman replied

"Come on Seth," his mother told him. "Time to face your other set of parents."

The group headed along the path that winded through the south woods that bordered Haven to a large mansion that looked like It had been dropped there from the Victorian era.

"This place makes so much sense now that we know who lives inside." Becky told her mate.

"Yeah" Drew grumbled, still unhappy about this turn of events.

Seth had stuck close to the pair the entire walk, at times dancing around them and nipping at their heels like he was excited about something.

Elias looked down at the wolf and snorted "You know all hell is about to break loose when everyone figures that out right?"

Seth barked at him, giving his friend a wolfy smirk before he turned to Mox, with an evil glint in his eyes.

"Don't you fucking dare-" Mox was suddenly shoved down, landing in dirt, Seth howling at him, looking at Drew and Becky, the pair laughing.

"You little shit" Mox growled, taking his jacket off before shifting himself, turning into a reddish brown wolf before tackling Seth.

"What will cause all hell to break loose?" Becky asked Elias

The siren let out a rusty laugh, like it wasn't a sound he made often "I hope the two of you like living in Haven. He won't want to leave again anytime soon" he says cryptically before taking the guitar off his back and strumming it as he walked along

"He won't want to leave again?" Becky whispered to her mate "He as in Seth?"

"I don't understand love. Sirens are...cheeky" He teased.

"Damn right" Becky grinned, slapping Drew on the ass before continuing her path.

The group came across a wolf sitting on the stairs, jumping from his spot. "Hey Baron" Elias greeted. "We need to see Finn and Violet"

Baron looked at the blond streaked wolf and let out a howl.

"Yep, your senses aren't betraying you, the Prince has returned" Elias answered him

The huge black wolf spun and ran up the stairs of the mansion barking his head off.

"Baron!" a woman's French-accented voice called out, "What is that racket you are making Mon Loup?"

An unnaturally pale but beautiful blue-haired woman came into view followed by a bearded man with short brown hair.

"Finn, Violet something happened while you were away from home" Stephanie says

Violet sniffed at the air, and gasped at the familiar, long missed scent "My baby?!"

Seth barked and ran forward, Drew unknowingly tensing. "I missed you Chaton," Violet said, kissing his furry head.

"Why is he fully shifted….he shouldn't be able…." Violet started to ask as she unceremoniously sat on the foyer floor and pulled the huge wolf into her lap. Finn sat down next to her and Seth immediately moved so that he was draped across both Vampires as he growled softly at them.

"Hey twinkle? My French and Gaelic are both real fucking rusty, would ya mind thinking in English?" Elias sighed rubbing his temples. "I know. I know. Automatic reaction to being with your Vampiric parental units. Apology accepted."

"He says….Twinkle I know, that part has to be in French I do know that word." Elias rolls his eyes in exasperation "He says he's sorry for leaving without telling you, Maman."

"Do it again and I'll kick your fuzzy little ass" Violet says quietly, but with feeling

Finn sat there petting Seth before saying "Don't you EVER worry us like that again." A low growl entered his voice, his eyes flashing blood red. "All THREE of us will kick your ass."