#starting rendering as soon as I hit post here

[phoenixiancrystallist]

Month 10, day 28

*vibrates* There we go! Final touches added, ready for the final render!

No matter what D:<

[darantha]

How to Spot AI images (Hopefully)

So, I did see GailyNovelry's excellent post on this (Link here), but saw that there also were some confusion and they were using a environment image as their example, so I thought I'd do a breakdown that was more character centric.

The key thing with AI images is that the program does not know what it is making. And, arguably, they thrive on that we are currently conditioned to not really look at things for too long before we hit that engagement button and/or just scroll onwards to whatever next the algorithm feeds us.

It's hard to fight that urge, I know, but if you just pause and look, you'll soon start spotting things that just do not make sense, and I don't just mean that the pretty booby elven fighter is sporting seven fingers on one hand. Those are the obvious things. I'll try to cover the general sort of artefacts that tend to tip me off to the fact that a image is generated rather than actually hand-made by someone making informed design decisions as opposed to trust what amounts to RNG. I think this is important as there's those who do not tag their images as AI generated, and try to scam people with commissions.

And, as the saying goes... The devil is in the details.

To start with I picked this image from deviantuser CeiEllem. At first glance, it looks... very impressive. Sharp looking elf lady with killer hair. 10/10 wish I could rock that haircolour.

But, it is AI generated. Aside from the general tell that is this hyper rendered, near photorealistic style that AI images often have, there's a lot of details that tips it off to just not having been made by a human who actually made the decisions.

Since AI is just working off patterns and not actual decisions, things like hair is a immediate giveaway that you're looking at a AI image.

(Deviantart users: daralyth, DavidZarn and lunayokai)

In all these three images you can see just how hair whisps off into weird nonsense shapes or even meld into the background or clothing. Because, again, the AI doesn't know what its doing, just working with shapes. Similarly, background elements that just stop and start randomly is a dead giveaway, like the tail in the first image.

As I've said, details is the key to spotting these images, and another giveaway is the sheer density of details that is just noise.

This is from users Rigtorok7, and the details are so noisy, absolutely miniscule in scale, and hypersharp, yet have no actual design to them. Artists imply details all the time. We don't render out every single nook and crevice, and since we actually know what we want the viewer to look at, we'll pull back and simplify things so you don't want to look at the big chunk of very noisy hair ornament or necklace instead of the face of the character.

For comparison, this is how it looks when I, personally, indulge in doing 'overdetailing' of something (because I am forever weak for painting jewelry).

BUT I want to stress that the key here isn't that detailing equals AI generated. The key is the lack of design choices IN the details. There's a lot of artists out there, and someone painting out all those nooks and crannies in something doesn't mean they are a AI user. This painting by Leighton is super detailed but you see the intent with all the details. You have a focus with the people in the boat and secondary read of the figure in the door, where the details are a lot more implied and less sharp.

AI can't do that, because AI isn't making any decisions.

I couldn't find any good example once I went looking, but if you're into fantasy art: look for people just holding weird 'swords'.

AI is rapidly evolving, so who knows how much this'll help in 3 months, but for now, this is how I spot things.

But, in the end, the biggest giveaway that someone is using an AI generator is that they've filled up page after page on deviantart/artstation/wherever in the past like... six to nine months, and often swing between wildly different styles. If you're unsure, look up the source of a image. Another clue can be generic 'untitled' or just 'elf lady' sort of titles, since someone uploading 30 images a week isn't going to make unique titles for each image.

Also, commissioners. ... you should ALWAYS get a sketch and progress image from a artist that you hire. My art directors would have my head on a plate if I didn't send them a rough sketch and progress shot before finalising the image.

[maplesyrupsainz]

i accidentally deleted this ask srry lol but here it is 😭

pairing: charles leclerc x fem y/n reader (she/her)

genre: blurb, established relationship

warnings: none just fluff

prompt: three [driver] proposing to you

a/n: tysmmm & yey charles reqs r always welcome

my masterlist | my 1k celebration

it's early afternoon when you wake, stretching out your limbs still stiff from sleep, your eyes adjusting to the light spilling in from the cracks in the blinds. your arms instinctively reach to your left, feeling for your boyfriend who, to your dismay, isn't there. a soft sigh escapes your lips as your eyes finally focus on the empty pillow beside you. you notice a note there, a little yellow post-it marked with charles’ familiar scrawl and you smile to yourself, humming with contentment as you read it: enjoy your breakfast, ma belle.

you pad downstairs through to the kitchen, still rubbing your eyes of any remaining sleep. on the countertop lies fresh fruit, all your favourites, cut up neatly along with pineapple juice and some sweet pastries. you smile to yourself, making yourself a cup of coffee whilst you snack on some cubes of mango. another note catches your attention as you go to grab milk, this time in pink, pasted to the fridge door. i will see you soon it read, along with an address. you raise your eyebrows, grabbing your phone and calling charles. no answer. guess you had to play along after all.

after eating and tidying away at a leisurely pace, a smile playing at your lips the whole time, you take a shower and get ready for the day. the sun is low and warm and bright in monaco today, so you dress appropriately. you toy with the pink post-it between your fingers before folding it up neatly, slipping it into your handbag and going out to the car. another note lays atop the steering wheel of the ferrari, this time in green. je t'aime. simple but effective.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

you take the familiar rocky path down to the sands of the beach once you arrive, letting the sun warm your skin. this is one of your favourite places to come with charles, and where you had your first date. you regularly revisit that beach picnic together.

when your feet eventually hit the soft sand, you look around for charles, or even any sign at all of his presence. your eyes narrow at the sight of footprints and you follow them eagerly, your skirts swooshing around you as your legs begin to pick up the pace. you stop in your tracks when you see a blue paper on the ground, partially buried by sand. you reach down and snag your fourth post-it of the day. look up. so, of course, you do.

and there he is, your boyfriend, nine or ten paces in front of you. but it isn't who's there that catches your attention, it's what the hell is he doing.

“charles, what are you doing?” you say, beginning to walk towards him quickly, glancing around for any passersby who might see. “if this is a prank, get up now.” you stop in your tracks as he shakes his head once, pulling a box from his pocket. “charles–”

“y/n,” he interrupts you, a shaky grin on his face. your heart is beating out of your chest, so loud in your ears you think you're hearing things when he speaks again. “will you marry me?”

a small gasp leaves your lips, rendering you speechless as you stare down at your boyfriend, on one knee in front of you, the most gorgeous diamond glinting at you in the sun.

“y/n, please reply. i love you and i–” you start to laugh at his panicked words, seeing him become unstable in his position.

“oh my god, cha,” you're giggling uncontrollably now, “get up. of course i'll marry you!”

“oh, thank god.” he sighs, the grin now back on his face. “you scared me, ma belle.” he slides the ring onto your finger before kissing your lips as if he'd never get to kiss you again.

[descendantofthesparrow]

Art Commission info-2024 updated

Sketches start at $20, going up $5 from headshot to full body. so $20 headshot, $25 hips up, and $30 full body sketch. +$10 per extra character.

Examples

Lineart starts at $30, with the same $5 upscale depending on what is being drawn. so headshot $30, hips up $35, and full body $40. +$10 per extra character.

Examples.

Coloring- Base price(ie; $20 sketch headshot) + $10 for flats and +$20 for full shading.

examples-two flats(top) and two full shading(bottom)

+$20 for backgrounds. +$10 per extra character.

Character/outfit design; base price(torso up, hips up, full body) + $20(plus $10 per outfit, plus $10 per character)

Some examples

for more-in one place info-you may look below the cut

full body sketch - $30 | hips up sketch - $25 | torso up sketch - $20

full body lineart - $40 | hips up lineart -$35  | torso up lineart - $30

Color-base price + Flats- $10 or +full shading/rendering- +$20.

+ Per extra character + $10

+Background + $20

INFO

I keep the right to decline a commission if I don’t feel comfortable doing it.

I keep the right to post your commission on my social medias

You’re not allowed to modify and/or resell your commission.

What can I draw?

Alot, armor, weapons, people, half humans, mostly people, magic, getting better at backgrounds,

What will I not draw?

Porn(still practicing, ill let yall know when nsfw commissions are open lol) Mecha style stuff, i have no clue how to draw that, Animals are a big if/maybe for me, im not good at drawing animals. furries, no hate, just no clue how to draw in that particular style lol

How to commission me?

Just hit me up on here, Discord, and or on my email at sketchgirl15@gmail.com and ill get to you as soon as possible.

Tell me what you want, with references and key info about your character and or whatever you want drawn, and ill get started as soon as i can.

After that I’ll tell you if it’s okay with me and I’ll make some concepts. I show you the concept sketches, you choose one and I’ll wait until I get your payment. Then I’ll go back to your commission. When the flat colors will be set on your drawing, I’ll send it to you so you can check if it’s okay. If it is, I’ll go back to it and I’ll finish it!

!IMPORTANT THING ABOUT THE PAYMENT!

Payments are done through Paypal, Cashapp, and Venmo. However, don’t send me the payment as a gift. Wait until I send you a bill. That way, Paypal can’t be a bitch to you nor me. Paypal takes taxes but i wont include any extra billing in my invoices, so dont worry about it.

If you have other questions regarding my commissions, you can send me a note or an e-mail at sketchgirl15@gmail.com .

That’ll be it. Thank you for reading!

[snapscube]

What got you to start editing out the intros on snapcube 2? I suppose it helps get to the games faster, but as a hardcore Vodhead, I kind of liked those.

I've gone back and forth about keeping pre-streams in the VODs for a couple years now. Whenever I decide to take them out I always have a couple people being like "aw I liked those", but then when I leave them in I can tell the majority of viewers will just skip to gameplay anyway and of course there's the age-old "skip to [timestamp here] for the game" comments. Not that I really mind people having the option per-se, but essentially over the years I've gotten the impression that there's always gonna be someone who feels like the experience of the VODs could be improved by either including them or cutting them and it's just gonna come down to individual preference, so I should go with my gut and how I like to produce things.

SO to actually answer your question as it stands technically, what got me to start removing the opening sections of streams RECENTLY is that I actually just completely upended the way I produce these VODs. I used to have an entire, seamless recording running from the moment I started streaming to the very last second, when I hit my "go live" button the recording would turn on automatically and I never touched it. Then when it came time to post I would put the recording in my editing software, cut out the starting soon screen and all the breaks, and then render and upload manually. At some point during or right before the Tears of the Kingdom series I changed this completely. Having to render out new versions of cut down VODs overnight became way more trouble than it was worth, literally hours of downtime where I couldn't do much on my PC while it was working on exporting them.

So I created a new method that goes something like this:

start the stream, play music

after a few songs, hop on mic and settle in with chat. talk about stuff, chill.

once i am ready to Do The Actual Content, i hit the button to start recording stream locally so the recording only ever begins when i'm ready to go.

i address vodheads and introduce them to the stream separately, then the show starts for real

if there are any stream breaks, i pause the recording as i leave and start it up again once i come back so there is literally nothing i have to edit out of the final recorded file

once the stream is over, take the recording and quickly convert it to mp4 so i can upload it to youtube as-is. every cut is already made, it's in full quality, and i don't have to render it.

now, i totally could just start recording once i hit my "bootup jingle" sound and hop on mic earlier in that process! the practical difference would not be really much to sneeze at on my end. i actually have already done this a couple times! however, what also ended up happening is that the Tears of the Kingdom series like.... REALLLY cut down on how much time i was even spending in the pre-stream to begin with. i was so pumped about that playthrough and i wanted to really maximize my time playing the game while i was live, so often there just really wasn't anything interesting in the pre-stream chat to begin with. this wasn't always the case, but it was reliable enough that i got used to just starting the recording when i started the game. then once i got used to it i kinda started to like it and like how the final VODs turned out when you could just click on it and jump right in, and i've kinda kept up a similar pacing and cadence to my streams post-TOTK.

ultimately, the TL;DR answer is that it's just how i prefer to produce the VODs right now and it makes my workflow a lot easier and makes me feel good about the final product! not saying this will never change, again it's something i go back and forth on. but it's how it is rn!

[badaziraphaletakes]

In which some poor innocent unsuspecting reader submitted an ask and I respond by throwing an entire textbook at them

Like seriously i won’t even be upset if no one reads this PhD dissertation, like actually what is wrong with me omg

The ask:

I want to start by saying I love this account and really appreciate the rebuttals I see here to some of the messed up stuff the fandom’s spit out over the past few years. That being said, the most recent post about “the creepiest take you’ve ever seen,” was one I disagreed with strongly. It’s entirely normal to enjoy watching media where characters have breakdowns. It is not a desire to see a person breakdown. It is a desire to watch a good story.

(Edit: Just realized I somehow omitted to include the full text of the ask here. I apologize for the error! Will fix it soon. -Mod X)

My response:

Hi and thank you for your kind words! (Also idk why there is this huge gap in the text here, sorry haha!) If it were a necessary part of the story, or a part of the story that made sense, I would agree. But it’s not necessary (esp not at this point in the story) and therefore wouldn’t be “good”, if we are defining good art as being emotional truthful, which I imagine is a pretty uncontroversial definition.

Side note: We already saw him have this exact shattering breakdown in Uz. So that renders most of what I am about to say (and arguably some of what you have said) somewhat moot. But I’m going to continue anyway because some of the points brought up here touch on issues that I think bear re-visiting often.

It’s cathartic, it’s engaging, and it helps people who’ve been through the same thing see themselves reflected. For example, I like watching someone on tv hit rock bottom with their addiction because I’ve been through that, and seeing them finally realize they have to work on recovery and actually do it is motivating and empowering.

I’m so sorry you’ve been through that. I haven’t (although I am estranged from an entire side of my family due to alcoholism and meth addiction, which is a whole fun thing), so I can’t comment on this too much.

But addiction is not the same as an ab*sive relationship. (I do have knowledge of those, both from life experience and from my previous job in ab*se research. I edited a newsletter about family violence research for several years.) Seeing a person suffering from addiction realize they want to work on recovery, and realize that the substance they are addicted to is messing up their life, can make sense. Especially if they're in a place where they're able to work on it and have the opportunity to try to change.

But seeing an ab*se survivor “realize they need to get away from their ab*ser because they’re evil and have a breakdown about it” doesn’t make sense, because being trapped in an absive situation is not about “motivation” or what they think about the abser or even, really, about "empowerment". (Side note that word is thrown a lot to delude women into thinking our capitalist system is working for us rather than oppressing us. But I digress.) It boils down to the fact that they are in danger if they leave. The situation is not within their control.

(This next part is not directed at you, but at the general readership, in case this is helpful discussion for anyone: A lot of addictions aren’t within people's control at all either. It depends very much on the drug we’re talking about, the health of the individual, the quantity and duration of the addiction, whether the person has access to the healthcare they need to be cured, and whether there’s a way for them to get free from the broader societal dysfunctions that led to them being trapped in this situation in the first place.)

Also, with addiction, people can absolutely get past that without losing their sense of self and their identity. If they go through that kind of crisis in the process of healing from addiction, I would argue that something is very wrong. (Not with them, but with the society around them). In a best-case scenario, a person suffering from addiction would have access to the kind of mental and physical healthcare and support system that lets you get free from that without a shattering breakdown or loss of sense of self.

Besides, not everyone who has an addiction has toxic beliefs about themselves or their own identity or other people, etc etc. (Babies who are born addicted come to mind, if we want to talk about the most extreme example.) So I find the idea that addiction is down to toxic beliefs about one's self very suspect. I would argue that 95% of the time, addiction happens because your life sucks. The mental health community is starting to have this conversation about depression and anxiety - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to work on one's "limiting beliefs" and "destructive thought patterns" can only do so much to help you feel better when your whole life is shit anyway. And it can actually make it WORSE if the victim is made to believe that their depression is the fault of their "Faulty thoughts" rather than a reasonable reaction to a shitty situation. Not necessarily saying we should throw CBT out the window altogether, but I am saying that mental healthcare will be a LOT more effective when it learns to truly take the broader societal context into account. I suspect, I hope, we'll soon be having a simialr conversation around addiction.)

And that’s doubly the case for ab*se survivors. They’re not stuck in that situation because there’s something wrong with them that they need to fix. They’re stuck in that situation because there’s something wrong with the ab*ser.

Regardless of the victim’s personal worth as an individual, regardless of whether they’re a good person or what-have-you, they don’t deserve to be ab*sed.

(I'm just waiting to hear about how some therapist tells a victim to work on their "limiting belief" that they need to stay with their ab*ser in order not to be killed, and/or tells them that fearing their ab*ser will kill them is a "cognitive distortion", and tells them to stand up to their ab*ser and/or leave, and then the ab*ser kills them. But I digress.)

And the loss of self when separating from a toxic system that’s defined your whole life is a real thing some people go through. It’s not bad consider that Aziraphale could also go through that, or to want to see that experience reflected.

I want to be very clear that I don’t have the smallest objection to people wanting to see that in a show. But a. that’s not what the person was saying, and b. they were also saying it’s necessary. IT’S NOT. I can’t emphasize this enough.

Loss of self is the worst-case scenario for how something like that goes. Nothing good comes from that. That is a side effect of ab*se (because the ab*ser’s the one who says that “Everything you are is bound up in me and you’re nothing with me"), not an integral part of the process of getting away.

Trauma is not necessary for character growth.

The way these things should go is that the person is able to gradually and mindfully work through the beliefs that are poisoning them with the help of a therapist, trusted friends, etc.

I know what I’m talking about. I worked in trauma research for over seven years. Please trust me on this one.

And again, Aziraphale can’t “separate” from them anyway. There’s nowhere he can go where they won’t find him. So his beliefs are irrelevant to his situation. And if the show implies that his beliefs “need to change” as part of the earth being set free from heaven-hell’s tyranny, or that he “needs to change” in order to be free, I will be writing a strongly-worded letter to the creators.

But more importantly, *they didn’t just say giddy.* They also said apprehensive. Perhaps they’re apprehensive because they know it could be painful to watch. Or because they don’t want to see it handled poorly.

“Giddily apprehensive” sounds an awful lot like “excited” to me. I admit it is ambiguous, though, so I’ll give you that one. I maintain that the OP expressed themselves with an exceptional lack of grace, however. And fwiw, they’d be FAR from the first person to want to see Aziraphale suffer because they are mad at him. I think I have good reason to believe that's what they're getting at here, given how many people in the poster's orbit say the same kinds of things and how many other things I've seen the OP say that are along those lines. I acknowledge I should have made that clearer in my original post.

They aren’t giving this advice (if one could call it that) to a human. They’re saying they’re excited to see a character breakdown. Character arcs like that are common and enticing for good reason.

I have yet to see a reason why I should believe that the things people say about Aziraphale are different than the things they say about people in real life.

I would point you to a couple lines down where you say yourself that we respond to characters the same way we respond to real people.

Personal growth ≠ character growth.

But what makes a good character is that they act like real people.

As an audience, character growth (even negative) is engaging.

Yes, absolutely. But we can absolutely do character growth in a way that does not spread harmful mindsets or misinformation about what ab*se and recovery from ab*se looks like. In fact, I would argue that character growth can’t happen if the writer doesn’t write the characters to behave in a way that is realistic to real life.

Characters follow the same rules, though. We respond to characters the same way we respond to real people. The same general rules of personal development and so forth apply.

The idea that “Aziraphale realizes his ab*sers are terrible” is something he needs to do for his “personal development” is highly objectionable. He doesn’t need to grow in this area. He just needs his ab*sers to leave him alone. Side note: We should give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he already does think they’re terrible and only stays with them because he is terrified. Even if this hadn’t been strongly and frequently hinted at in every episode going all the way back to S1E1 - almost every scene, in fact - we should still give him the benefit of the doubt.

Also, even if we say, for the sake of argument, that Aziraphale was a terrible, awful, horrible person - I know you’re not saying that, to be clear - even then, he still wouldn’t “need to realize his ab*sers are terrible” or “have a complete breakdown” or “lose himself” in order to grow. That's not how growth works. The best growth happens when people are at peace and safe and loved. Not frightened and confused and alone. He never chose them in the first place, he never wanted to be on their side. If he were left alone, he would just spend the rest of eternity reading his books and eating Eccles cakes and snuggling with his former-demon. That’s who he really is. There’s nothing about him as a person that needs to change. I agree a story where a person loses their sense of self after escaping from an ab*sive system would be interesting to watch, but I maintain that it does not make sense for the context of this particular story. And, such a story would NEED to make clear that the person wasn’t bad or wrong for deriving some part of their sense of self from the ab*ser and that they shouldn’t have had to have a catastrophic breakdown in order to develop their own sense of self. No one should have to go through that.

It’s not the same thing as asking for personal growth from a real human being.

Good characters do not operate according to different emotional and psychological rules than we do, though. If they didn't, we wouldn’t have millions of people sobbing about how real Aziraphale and Crowley feel to them. We would be the biggest dodos in the world if we were reacting this way to paper dolls 😄

Comparing the desire to see a character go through a dramatic storyline like that (and to come out of it strong and shining) to fundamentalist rhetoric is… just total bullshit.

You said this blog has been a good place for you and I want it to continue to be that way for you. So I want to give you a chance to revisit this part and see if you can say something more constructive. Because I've gotta admit, this really made me upset and I can't let it go without saying something. It’s not cool to call someone’s commentary “bullsh*t” like this.

I heard the line “we must die to ourselves” many, many times from the high-control religion of my childhood. It is a classic cult line. Hence why so many cults have "burial and rebirth" rituals, make people change their names, etc.

I am not just making up a comparison. This is a real phenomenon. Controlling ab*sers are the ones who’ve given us this idea that “death of the self” is character growth. It’s not. Character growth happens in spite of those excruciating emotional crises, not because of them.

Growing as a person is supposed to feel good overall. Not always easy, but on the whole, it should be a positive experience.

Also - Again, they said he “needs” to do it.

And they didn’t say anything about Aziraphale “coming out strong and shining”. You added that in. I think it's wonderful that you want to see that for him (so do I) but that’s not what this person was saying

If they'd said that, I wouldn't object to it at all. But they didn't. That part was left out. Which I think may be very telling in itself.

There are a myriad of reasons someone could have that desire, including having gone through something similar themselves.

Having gone through something similar doesn’t necessarily mean it makes sense for another character. It also doesn’t mean it’s necessary. And having been through something that went a certain way does NOT mean that it happening that way makes sense for someone else.

Deconstruction from a religious upbringing is different from leaving an ab*sive relationship

Aziraphale doesn’t have religious trauma. (I’m not going to talk much about religious trauma and deconstruction here, because it’s outside the scope of this blog, largely because - as attested by no less an authority than Neil Himself - Good Omens is not about religion. But I’ll say a little bit.)

Heaven and hell are not a “religion” in his world - they’re real. His fear of hell (and of heaven) is absolutely, one hundred percent, completely legitimate and appropriate, and NOT something he should be “reasoned” out of. Saying otherwise gives “your ab*ser isn’t actually that evil and scary”. But regardless, in either scenario, that kind of traumatic personal crisis is not a necessary part of the healing process. My heart aches for all the people whose deconstruction process was emotionally shattering. But what makes it ache even more is how for so many of them, the takeaway is somehow that that kind of crisis is necessary - rather than "dear god, i hope no one else ever has to go through that kind of hideous experience to get away from their shitty religion", which surely is what the takeaway should be (assuming there even is a lesson to be learned at all from an experience like that, which is doubtful) - and they go on to demand it of other survivors and gatekeep against people who haven't gone through the exact same thing they did in the process of getting away.

How, HOW did we get to a point where so many people’s deconstruction is a fucked-up, scarring experience that we think it’s inevitable for deconstruction to be that way????? I grieve.

I know the idea of killing one’s old self is inherently wrong to many people.

It’s not about whether it’s *wrong*. If that's valid for someone and they get where they need to be - you do you. It’s about the fact that it’s painful and it’s unnecessary to the process of growth.

Furthermore, it is the kind of thing ab*sers WANT to see happen to their victims when they leave. They want victims to think that they have to have that kind of crisis if they want to leave them. Because then they’re less likely to leave. When we encourage that kind of thinking, we are playing directly into their hands.

What should happen is that the victim should be given the opportunity to realize that all along there was much more to them than their ab*ser.

I don’t personally desire to watch Aziraphale do that, especially because there are so many wonderful aspects of the Angel he’s been since the beginning

Agreed.

But fwiw, this is giving a faint whiff of perfect victim syndrome. Even if he were an asshole, he still deserves to just have his ab*sers leave him alone, not to have some kind of shattering, soul-crushing emotional breakdown. They will always, always be worse than him.

but it’s not wrong to want to see that. People do go through it, and their stories are incredibly compelling.

I don’t disagree. For me it’s rather about the place this is coming from. OP was saying it’s necessary. There’s a difference between wanting to see a show address this issue overall because it’s interesting, and demanding that a specific character go through it because you think it’s necessary, or that their process of leaving and healing won't be legitimate (or whatever word we wanna use) if it doesn't happen.

And, as you said, it doesn’t make sense for Aziraphale. If the character is an asshole, I’d be able to see it a little more (although again, I still very much question the entire idea in the first place) But he's not an asshole. I find anyone’s thinking it “makes sense” for him to be highly questionable.

I know Aziraphale is much more than a character to many people

Speaking as a (very, very, very slightly, lol) professional writer and actor - every character should be “more than a character”, if they’re well-written. They should feel real if the writer and/or actor has done their job well. I like NG's line that "If you write someone who is utterly and completely themselves, you get people coming up to you and going 'Oh my God, you wrote my life!'

a desire to watch him go through a psychological breakdown is not some poorly concealed desire to watch real people go through that.

It may or may not be. I agree that it isn't always.

In this person’s case, though, I very much did get concerning vibes. Poorly concealed. (As an ab*se survivor, you start to know the vibe of victim-blamers after awhile.)

Regardless, though, the way we respond to characters is the way we respond to people in real life. Story is a primary vehicle through which people learn how to interact with one another and their environment. If it wasn’t, discussing media along these lines would be pointless, and I'd just spend all my time talking about how good David Tennant looks in those tight pants 😁 Or, probably, I would take up a different hobby altogether.

I wouldn’t have wasted my time starting this blog if the things people say about this story and especially about Aziraphale didn’t have real-world applications (not to mention making a lot of ab*se survivors feel very unsafe in the fandom - before we turned off anonymous asks, I got an average of two messages a day from ab*se survivors and other oppressed people telling them how this blog has made them feel so much safer in the fandom) - and if their views about the characters didn’t mirror the kinds of things they’d say about people in real life. (All the anti-Aziraphale autiphobic takes come to mind.) I flatter myself I have enough judgment that those takes wouldn't have troubled me so deeply if they weren't reflective of real-world societal problems and indicative of problematic attitudes in the people who write them.

In this case, the wording is identical to the kinds of problematic things people say about real-life victims/survivors. Yes, the person may not actually consciously want (or want at all) to see real-life ab*se victims/survivors suffer. But I absolutely, one hundred per cent guarantee you that anyone saying this has some major problematic biases/assumptions that are contributing to how ab*se survivors are maligned, degraded, and oppressed in our society. (I never want to see Disabled people suffer, but if I say ableist things, I’m contributing to it whether I mean to or not. I may not want to see women suffer, I am a woman, well more or less anyway lol, and I've identified as a feminist my entire adult life, but nevertheless there have certainly been times in the past when I've said sexist things. It's something all of us will always have to be vigilant against in ourselves. I suspect at this point I'm preaching to the choir, because you do not strike me at all as a bigoted or ignorant person, but I figured I'd re-iterate all that again anyway, because screaming it through a megaphone as often as possible is what this blog is for lol. :)

And what’s worse, they are spreading that rhetoric. I’ll be damned if I’ll let it go by without saying something.

Hope this makes sense and cleared some things up.

With love and respect,

Mod X.

[snowed-leopard]

TEAM BIRDRESS NINE OUT OF NINE: HEAVY WEAPONS GUY!!!!

HOLY SHIT YALL I DID IT I DKD ALL NINE

Heavy: the whooper swan. These massive swans are some of the largest birds on earth. They’re extremely devoted both as parents and as monogamous birds. Similar in vein in my mind with heavy’s devotion to his family and friends. They can be extremely loud and powerful when need be but will often prefer to use silent cues. Like all swans they are both highly intelligent and aggressive. Whooper swans are also very associated with death, and last acts before it. Swans are also some of the physically strongest birds around too capable of breaking bones while hitting someone. All of it just combined to fit Heavy well. They’re also of course native to his home of Russia.

I’ll be making a post soon for what follows this whole series, as well as just some details regarding my processes.

The usual musings and whatnot below the cut

Heavy’s bird was simple to solve, something big, strong, and from his home. So I started going down the list of largest birds until I hit swans. And at first they didn’t really click until I recalled the undying rage and devotion in a swans heart. Then I read the wiki, saw notes like their willingness to stay quiet often times and their being an omen of death and I was like “yup, seems perfect”. Did mean I had the challenge of making an interesting pose to make up for plain wings, while also making his wings appropriately intriguing.

I decided rendering out all of his like 200 almost feathers one by one was appropriately intriguing enough. It looks a lil messy still but I like it.

Gonna be honest I’m sharing the sketch too because I fuckin killed the anatomy beneath the wings on this one and I can’t not show that. The pose just did not give until a friend suggested him boxing and it worked perfectly

Here’s the wiki page I used for my info :3

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whooper_swan

It did it’s weird thing where it doesn’t wanna embed again :(

[ladyofthewolfsbane]

They’re Made of Meat: How the Texas Chain Saw Massacre Forces Us to Confront the Horrors of Slaughter

This will be an analysis focusing on my interpretation of TCM and how it criticizes the meat industry. 

11/8/23 note: I originally posted this on my old horror blog. Since I privated my old blog, I wanted to post this here.

Disclaimer:

Three things before we start. First, given the nature of this analysis, I will describe the deaths of animals (as well as their mistreatment) and the fictional deaths of humans. I will use some images of animals in making my argument, but I’m not using images of dead animals.

Second, I am a vegetarian for ethical reasons, so my perspective will be undeniably biased. If me just mentioning that bothers you, this might not be the analysis for you.

Third, I’m not saying all of these things were intentional on the director’s part. This is simply my interpretation of the movie.

All that said, let’s begin.

You enter a dim room, and something feels … wrong. You have spent the last several hours in a hot metal vehicle, cramped with your companions. Now that you’ve left the vehicle, you’d hoped that this new place would provide some help and relief.

But this new place is dark and smells of decay.

You hear a sound and call for your friend. You come forward and walk up a ramp towards a strange room, and —

A hulking figure appears from nowhere and strikes your skull. You collapse, your feet flailing and clattering against the metal ramp. The hit downed you, but you still remain conscious. It takes two more strikes before you lose consciousness.

What I just described is the death scene of Kirk from The Texas Chain Saw Massacre.

What I just described is also the hypothetical destruction of a cow that entered a slaughterhouse and was improperly stunned with a captive bolt gun and who had to be stunned twice before being rendered insensible.

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre criticizes the meat industry by performing the very same trick I just played — by forcing the characters and the audience into the perspective of livestock. It accomplishes this by putting the characters in the position of animals sent to slaughter when each character encounters the Sawyer family.

Themes of slaughter and the meat industry enter the movie early on. Within the first 10 minutes of the movie, the characters pass cattle awaiting slaughter. At least one of the animals is clearly suffering — the audience is given a quick shot of a cow panting and frothing in the unforgiving summer heat.

Franklin then begins to describe how cattle were previously slaughtered with a sledgehammer, but a captive bolt gun is now used to stun them prior to bleeding. During his description, the ethics of meat is explicitly questioned.

Pam says, "People shouldn’t use animals for meat." From the beginning, Pam is essentially setting up the thesis of the movie — animals suffer for meat consumption, and we shouldn’t do it. She has heard the information and come to a conclusion.

However, Sally simply wants to look away. She says, "Franklin, I like meat, please change the subject."

Sally does not want to confront the reality of where meat comes from and what animals go through to provide her the meat she enjoys. Ironically, she will eventually be almost put through the slaughter process that she originally refused to confront.

Soon, the protagonists pick up the first member of the Sawyer family — the Hitchhiker. (Note: I know the family members are given names in TCM 2, but since I’m only talking about the first movie, I won’t use those names here.)

The confrontation of meat production continues as the Hitchhiker describes how his family has historically worked in the meat industry.

These two scenes being set at the beginning of the movie and the detail they go into about cattle slaughter frame the movie as a criticism of meat production.

Now, I’ll go into specific scenes. It won’t be a blow by blow recap of the movie, though I will go in order of events.

The first to be killed is Kirk. Kirk’s death closely parallels that of the slaughter of cattle. He enters an unknown area and travels up a metal ramp, not knowing what fate awaits him. His death occurs with little warning and is performed dispassionately. As mentioned at the beginning, his legs flail and kick before he dies, similar to cattle struggling during improper stunning in undercover slaughterhouse footage.

Leatherface’s weapon is even a sledgehammer — previously used in slaughtering cattle, as discussed at length by Franklin and the Hitchhiker.

Additionally, the sliding metal door that Leatherface slams is similar to the sliding metal door of a knock box that cattle are herded into so that they can be stunned.

Indeed, the entrance to Leatherface’s room is even surrounded by what appears to be cattle hides.

Soon after Kirk’s death, Pam comes to find him. She stumbles into a room covered in chicken feathers and filth. The floor closely resembles the living conditions that broiler chickens are forced to deal with inside factory farms. They are packed closely together and stand in layers of feathers and their own filth. In that room, there is even a chicken held in a small cage, perhaps paralleling the tiny battery cages factory farmed chickens have been kept in.

When Leatherface finds her, he treats her just as dispassionately as Kirk, and he hangs her on a meat hook like a side of beef.

Now, I think it’s time to discuss the Sawyers a bit more. The Sawyer family treats the protagonists in the same way that they would treat any non-human animal. In the Sawyer’s minds, it makes sense. Humans are, just like any animal, made of meat. To them, there is nothing that makes a human different from a cow.

While the movie primarily focuses on the plight of the "livestock," there is also some focus on how the meat industry is toxic to the workers as well.

In one scene after Jerry has also been killed, Leatherface is visibly in distress. People have been coming to his home in quick succession, and he feels he has had to kill them.

Slaughterhouse workers are often pressured to increase speed on the line, resulting in stress for the workers and lowered welfare standards for the animals they kill. According to the article Meatpacking: A Closer Look Inside a Secretive and Dangerous Industry, slaughterhouse workers are at a high risk for anxiety and PTSD. 

Later, Leatherface is berated and threatened by the Cook because the Cook believes he has performed below the standards expected of him. This parallels the pressure and mistreatment slaughterhouse workers may face from supervisors. 

"Some said their supervisors screamed and humiliated them to keep up production speed," Meatpacking: A Closer Look Inside a Secretive and Dangerous Industry said.

Returning to the protagonists, there are many striking scenes with Sally. Of all the characters, her experiences put the audience most directly and vividly in the position of an animal meant for slaughter.

The most disturbing parallels begin after she has escaped the Sawyer house for the first time. In this section of the movie, she goes to the gas station and briefly thinks that she is safe. Of course, she isn’t. 

The Cook recaptures her and proceeds to treat her like an animal, such as prodding her and beating her with a broom to get her to go where he wants.  Slaughterhouse workers have been caught on undercover footage similarly beating pigs with paddles and sticks and using electric prods to herd them. 

Then there is the infamous dinner scene. Sally is tied to a chair, staring in terror and screaming while the family mimic her cries and laugh at her. Her screams of distress mean no more to them than the bellowing of a cow or the squealing of a pig. In fact, there are even the sounds of pigs squealing and grunting in the background while she screams. Intermingling her sounds of distress with the cries of animals cements that they have become one in the same in this scenario. 

There is a lot of undercover slaughterhouse footage that captures workers mocking and taunting the animals that are clearly in distress, paralleling the Sawyer’s mockery of Sally. 

This mockery and verbal abuse in the meat industry likely comes from what I mentioned earlier — the need of slaughterhouse workers to disassociate to do their jobs. This causes them to see animals as objects to take their frustration out on rather than living things that can suffer.

"The worst thing, worse than the physical danger, is the emotional toll," said a former slaughterhouse employee in Slaughterhouse: The Shocking Story of Greed, Neglect, and Inhumane Treatment Inside the U.S. Meat Industry. "Pigs down on the kill floor have come up to nuzzle me like a puppy. Two minutes later I had to kill them. … I can’t care."

There are moments when the Cook seems to have twinges of regret about what they’re doing, saying he takes no pleasure in killing, that they shouldn’t torture her.

But he believes the killing is necessary. He has to shut down his sympathy for Sally. Just like the former slaughterhouse worker quoted above, he can’t care.

Eventually, the Sawyers decide to allow Grandpa to kill Sally. They lean her over a bucket and hand him a sledgehammer, again using the same method to kill her as they would to kill an animal. All the while she screams and cries and the verbal abuse continues.

 The Hitchhiker uses misogynistic terms to refer to her, similar to workers using such terms for female animals trying to escape their fate.

And Sally does manage to escape her fate. 

I doubt this was intentional, but there is a striking parallel between her escape and the rare cases of cattle escaping from slaughter. She smashes through a window and runs for her life in any direction she can and ends up on a road where chaos ensues. 

There are cases of cattle escaping slaughter by breaking through a fence and running the streets, which causes similar confusion and chaos to Sally’s escape. A notable example are the "St. Louis Six," who were six cows that escaped slaughter and were later taken to a sanctuary. 

Sally, too, is helped by kind strangers. One of the most notable strangers who helps her is a cattle truck driver that throws a wrench at Leatherface. While his job is to transport cattle to slaughter, he has unknowingly saved a woman who has escaped the same fate as the cattle he transports. 

At the end of the film, Sally escapes in the back of a truck, covered in blood and laughing. 

At the beginning of the film, she said, "Franklin, I like meat, please change the subject."

By the end, Sally could no longer look away. She could no longer ignore reality of the meat industry, for she had been dragged to a slaughterhouse herself, now no different than the meat she enjoyed. And the audience, too, is forced to witness the terror of the slaughterhouse through Sally’s eyes.

[shanaraharlyah]

Trying Not To Love You

You call to me, and I fall at your feet How could anyone ask for more? And our time apart, like knives in my heart How could anyone ask for more?

But if there's a pill to help me forget, God knows I haven't found it yet But I'm dying to, God I'm trying to

'Cause trying not to love you, only goes so far Trying not to need you, is tearing me apart Can't see the silver lining, from down here on the floor And I just keep on trying, but I don't know what for 'Cause trying not to love you Only makes me love you more Only makes me love you more ~Nickelback

When Hellendil realized his feelings for Sebastian, he let it slip, and when Sebastian didn't know what to say, he took it as rejection and took it hard. Little snip of the fic I started writing below the cut. Might be about ready to post the rest soon.

Artwork setup and rendered in DAZ Studio 4.21. Postwork in Photoshop Elements 8.0.

---

Hellendil used the floo network to return to the Ravenclaw common room and hurried back to his dorm, in an attempt to avoid conversation.  He hung his cloak on the coat rack as he entered and began to change, unbuckling the leather cuirass and tossing it over the back of the desk chair.  He sat down on the bed to remove his boots and his thoughts drifted back to Sebastian.  He could no longer hold back the flood of emotions.  As his boots hit the floor, he immediately rolled over, curled up on the bed and wept into his pillow.  

"Sebastian," he murmured, as tears rolled from his shuttered eyes.  Why did I say anything?  Why couldn't I wait until we knew one another better?  Is there something wrong with me?  He pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, the knot in the pit of his stomach making him feel sick.  This shouldn't feel like the end of the world, he thought, and yet…  

He didn't understand why it was affecting him so profoundly.  After all, as far as he knew Sebastian hadn't rejected his friendship and nothing had changed beyond him being aware of his attraction to him.  An attraction he'd only just realized himself.  He'd never felt this way regarding another man before.  He'd had crushes on girls both here and at his previous muggle school.  In fact, he'd asked Elvira to be his study partner not only because she seemed a good fit, being intelligent and excellent at dueling, but he thought she was pretty as well and hoped they might become closer.  But there was something different this time.

Maybe it was the way Sebastian had trusted and opened up to him so quickly.  He didn't have to take him to meet his family in Feldcroft or lay bare his worries about his twin's condition and his uncle's inaction regarding it.  He didn't have to share his knowledge or the secret hideout Ominis had shared with him.  He could have let him take the fall when Peeves discovered them in the restricted section, but he took the punishment as his own.  They'd grown incredibly close in such a short expanse of time.  Sebastian already meant so much to him and he never realized it until today. 

The yellowing rays of the fading sunlight danced across his pillow as he lay there, his damp hair soaking through his tunic and bedding along with his tears.  His stomach growled alerting him to his hunger, but the sickness over Sebastian had not yet passed and he really was not interested in entertaining anyone in the great hall after what had happened anyway.  He shifted into a more comfortable position, his breaths shaky, and silently worked to steady his breathing and calm his mind.

[sparatus]

👀

send me a 👀 and i’ll post a snippet of art/writing that i never got around to finishing this year

so my plan for not-affiliated-with-certain-orgs nanowrimo this year had been a post-itlog novella feat. garrus and feron in no-reapers au lair of the shadow broker but then life kinda. hit me in the face with a whole freight train so it dropped off but i do still want to pick it up again cause im invested in the story, it adds plot stuff for exdiff but also it deals with garrus's trauma and depression after omega and how he finds his drive in life again. and also furthers my garrus/tasora propaganda and includes feron and tazzik and quentius + nautilea and their mildly feral xenoarchaeologist daughter

it also gets into my hc that after The Rocket Thing garrus is rendered mostly blind on his right side and reduced hearing so here's some of the first chapter that includes that

--

Whoever had decided that omni-tools needed to default to yellow text on orange holo, with low contrast and a tiny font size, deserved to be shot.

Solana had been the one to help Garrus find the display settings and figure out what would let him actually read. High contrast, large font size, yellow text on blue holo, and a button in the corner to turn on a screen reader that never moved so he didn’t have to hunt for it. He didn’t ask, not wanting to run the risk of a lecture and more shame over his actions than he already gave himself, but Sol was always the smart one. She let him have the courtesy of not calling him out in front of anyone, too, just waited until they were alone in the spaceport waiting for their shuttle to Palaven for Solstice while Tasora was in the restroom, slid a seat over, and asked if she could show him some tricks she’d found in the settings to customize the display.

She never once said the word blind. He didn’t even know if she knew yet, not right then. By the time Tasora got back, he could read his own notifs again, and they were watching dumb extranet vids on it like nothing had happened at all. He let her pick the toppings on their cheap spaceport pizza lunch in quiet thanks.

Staring at the screen now, though, reading felt just as impossible as before. The old Normandy group chat from over a year ago had randomly come back to life early that morning, Torres popping in to say he would be on the station again soon and would love to meet up with anybody still there, and it had been buzzing periodically ever since as other crew in other time zones woke up, saw the chat, and got excited with the rest. Kaidan was stationed on a training base down in Zakera, Ashley was doing a guard rotation at the embassies, Haugen and Isotalo were here, Khulozai was there. In the past hour, maybe fifteen more messages had popped in as people got off work or woke up for the day or took a convenient break to see why their ’tool was buzzing so much.

His gizzard rolled over on itself. The message bubbles scrolled past in a vague mass of shapes. Seeing, but not reading. If any of them had noticed he was online but not speaking, none of them had said.

He fluttered his mandibles and forced himself to tab back to his home screen. It was the end of the work day in the turian embassy, and Tasora would fuss if she came out of her office to him having a pity party. She didn’t need to be fussing over him, not right now. He could be a big boy and ignore it.

He fluttered his mandibles and instinctively started to look around, only for the blurry shadows that made up most of the right side of his field of view to make him dizzy, so he had to stop and remember to scent the air instead. The rocket hadn’t damaged anything in his nose, at least. He’d managed to learn the scents of a fair number of the embassy team in the past few weeks, and they'd started recognizing him, too, and said hello to him on the days he came in to pry Tasora away from her work on time. There was Auggie, of course, rocketing around collecting last-minute notes and reports and whatever else the councilor's assistant was responsible for at the end of the day. Ambassadors Orinia and Treninius were loitering outside the latter’s office; a turn of his head so he could look with his good eye confirmed they were chatting as they got their cloaks on. A mess of scents he only barely recognized was milling about by the door to the lawyers’ suite. Old Ambassador Itatumus was approaching on his bad side, and gave him the courtesy of a click-whistle to announce his presence before Garrus turned his head.

A door at the other end of the lobby, just before the doors to the big office and the Blackwatch soldiers bristling with guns guarding it, chimed a warning, and he turned his head just as his nasal plates tingled with bourbon and salt.

The whole lobby seemed to suck in a breath as Ambassador Quentius strode out of his office, mandibles set and crest slightly raised like a man on a mission. Orinia and Treninius stepped further out of the walkway, Auggie paused to look where the embassy’s resident giant was going, the lawyers fell to a buzzing hush. Garrus lifted his head, fluttering his good mandible in curiosity, but not too much, not wanting to draw attention to himself.

Red-orange eyes snapped to him, and he tried not to wince. “Oh, good, you are here,” Quentius huffed, taking a few more long strides before stopping not too far from the couch Garrus had parked himself on. “If you can convince her to go home within the next half-hour and without causing any more fusses, I’ll send you a few fish.”

Garrus blinked, fighting the urge to shrink back into the cushions. Quentius had been a major in the Imperial Army, and carried himself as such, and it had been all too obvious the first few times Garrus had dropped in on the embassy after the disastrous anniversary gala at the end of last year. He didn’t think tensions between the embassies had ever been higher; following the funeral, he’d seen more talons left ungloved, unbooted, and filed sharp around the Citadel than a younger him would have thought legal. Tasora had told him nobody saw the councilor very much at all outside him arriving in the morning and departing several hours late each day, embroiled as he was in calls and conferences with various Imperial leaders trying to decide what to do about the rot in their midst, and there were some days where you could go an entire day without even realizing the old man was there. That had been half of why Garrus started coming up at the end of the day to walk out with her, a nagging fear in the back of his head that if he let her out of his sight for too long, something terrible would happen.

His therapist had said that was the PTSD talking, and they’d work on it. He’d told him he’d feel better in a Palaven month, and then he wouldn’t have to go anywhere anyway, just stay home and protect the nest. This was also apparently not a normal thing to say.

[rising-volteccers]

Prompt, liko gets hurt, how does friede handle 'failing'

This was certainly a fun prompt to tackle! Once again, I got carried away a little with personal headcanons and what not haha. This piece took inspiration from this Twitter post of Liko getting hurt under Friede's watch and @/somniadelapsis idea of different Explorers who are more ruthless in their attempt at nabbing Liko's pendant. Hopefully it's an enjoyable read!

Series: Pokemon Horizons

Characters: Friede, Liko, Mollie

Warnings: Light description of a child character getting hurt

--

Friede didn’t expect for things to get so wrong so quickly.

One minute, he alongside Liko and Roy were on their way back from grocery shopping. The next one, they found themselves ambushed by a different set of Explorers who exercised far less restraint in grabbing Liko unharmed.

Friede did his best to fend off the opposing Skarmory and Carkoal with added support from Sprigatito and Fuecoco. It looked like they were gaining the upper ground until the dust settled post collision of a Thunderpunch against Stone Edge and he heard–

“Liko! Liko are you alright?”

He knew the dangers of his attentiveness on the battle at hand but Friede immediately snapped towards Roy’s loud, fearful voice. Like getting drenched by a bucket of ice water, Friede spotted Roy knelt beside Liko who–

She was on the ground, lying so still that Friede couldn’t help but assume the worst.

“Double Team Cap! Charizard, Flamethrower!” he hastily called before dashing towards the pair. 

Friede dropped to his knees next to Liko. His stomach dropped once he realized that she was unresponsive. The soft rise and fall of her chest at least told him that she wasn’t…

He swallowed heavily. They needed to get back on the ship and have Mollie treat her as soon as possible. 

Friede called for a few more attacks. If his Pokemon seemed a little more vicious with their respective attacks in respond to the barely concealed panic in his tone, Friede didn’t notice. He simply jumped on the advantage of rendering the Skarmory unconscious and had Charizard prepare for take off.

Once Charizard had Liko in his arms, Friede quickly helped Roy onto the dual-type’s back before joining him. With a mighty flap of his wings, Charizard started to rise. Friede ordered for Cap to throw off a few Thunders as distraction while they gained more height. 

After that, Cap managed to jump onto his outstretched arm when Charizard swooped down, weaving his way through the Stone Edge that popped up from the ground. 

“Get us out of here!” Friede’s yell startled Roy, and if he wasn’t focused on guiding Charizard further away from the ranged moves hellbent on hitting them, he’d give the boy an apology. As it was, Friede held Roy in an almost bruising grip in his fear and haste to get back to their ship. 

“F-Friede, that kinda hurts…” Roy’s soft, shaky voice had him loosening his grip but he still kept a protective arm around the kid throughout Charizard’s speedy, tension filled flight. The rapid flaps of powerful wings matched the beat of his own heart, and he swallowed down the rising emotions that threatened to swallow him whole.

Friede can’t afford to buckle under the weight of his immense guilt right now. He needed to ensure Liko got help as soon as possible, not to mention assure Roy who’d fallen into an uneasy, fearful silence as well. 

He swallowed heavily, then spoke just loud enough to be heard through the winds. “Hey, she’s going to be alright. Don’t worry.”

Sensing the slightest of nods didn’t ease anything within him but that was the best he could get.

Upon spotting the docked airship, he signalled for Charizard to land on the outer deck. His partner performed the best landing he could with the extra weight he carried–typically, Charizard only had two passengers on him at a time–and Friede wasted no time in hopping off with a loud, “Mollie I need you!”

In the meantime, he rushed to check on Liko nestled in Charizard’s arms. Friede bit his bottom lip upon seeing her so still, though at least mildly assured that she didn’t appear to have problems breathing. Gingerly, he scooped her up she was so light so still she should never be this still just as Mollie and the rest of the crew burst out from various rooms on the ship.

“Friede? What–?” Murdock started, eyes widening upon seeing Liko unconscious in his arms.

“Different Explorers. She got–got hurt. Need treatment now,” Friede replied in clipped tones, immediately following after Mollie who gestured that they go to the infirmary. Distantly, he heard Murdock checking up on Roy, glad at least that someone else could do that as his focus laid solely on Liko.

“Chansey, get my equipment,” Mollie ordered the moment she entered. With barely a glance over her shoulder, she said, “Put Liko on the bed.”

Friede did as instructed. He then took a step back to give space for Mollie to perform a check-up, knowing full well that she hated crowding while she worked. She snapped on gloves before she gently held Liko’s chin, lightly tilting her head the fact that she didn’t respond through any of that scared him to check for possible injury.

“What happened?” Mollie’s tone was crisp and professional that Friede instinctively stood up straighter.

“We were just done with shopping–” In the midst of all that chaos, he belatedly realized that he left behind the groceries they bought. “–and on our way back when a different set of Explorers went after Liko and her pendant.”

Friede had migrated to a nearby wall throughout his explanation, arms crossed to hide the way his hands lightly shook. His expression reflected the turbulent emotions bubbling within him. Anger at himself for getting so easily caught off guard like that. Ice cold fear on seeing her so still unmoving not responsive. Disappointment that he never considered the nature on how LIko’s pendant protected her. All the times that it did, it was from attacks directly made at her, not where she got caught in the aftermath of one. 

“I see. Then?” Mollie prompted. Friede didn’t notice the way she glanced at him before continuing on with the check-up.

“Charizard and Cap were fending off their Skarmory and Carkoal,” he continued, fingers digging into his upper arm. “The kids helped by having Fuecoco and Sprigatito distract them. It looked like we had the upper hand but then…” Friede took in a soft, shaky breath. “Cap intercepted a Stone Edge with Thunderpunch, causing it to explode into bits. Don’t know if it was the force or one of those rocks hit her cause the next thing I knew… Roy’s rushing towards Liko on the ground.”

Friede already knew that the boy’s frantic calls of her name while he saw her unconscious so still unmoving lifeless would haunt his nightmares for awhile.

“I’ll tell you now it’s likely that she got knocked off her feet and hit her head when she fell,” Mollie eventually replied in the ensuing silence. “I feel a bump on the back of her head. It’s worrying that she’s not regaining consciousness yet but my initial assessment is that she’s also exhausted from the stress of today.”

“That means…”

“I’ll have her stay here and monitored for the night but I don’t see any other injuries to worry about.”

Friede nearly buckled from the crash of relief that washed over him. Setting aside his guilt, this was at least good news to hear. The breath he released shuddered around the edges, shoulders slanting from released tension. 

“Thank Arceus…” he murmured. His eyes slid shut for a moment to ease the sting of welled up tears. Friede took in another steadying breath before opening them to find him on the other end of Mollie’s gaze.

“She’s going to be alright.” While her expression barely shifted from its usual calm, Friede heard the gentle assurance in it. A part of him twisted uncomfortably at the kindness shown he didn’t deserve it not when Liko got her on his watch but he simply flashed her a wan smile.

“Right, thanks Mollie.” Was he thanking her for treating Liko or trying to comfort him, who knows? 

“At the moment, all that Liko needs is rest.” She eyed him critically. “Now, are you hurt in anyway?”

Not anything physical, he thought. Friede lightly shook his head. “Don’t think so.” Only Liko did, causing his stomach to churn from flared guilt. 

“Alright, I’m trusting you on that. If I find that you tried to hide an injury…”

A shiver trailed down his spine from her mild, threatening tone. “Promise I’m not.” Not this time anyway. 

Friede forced himself to remain still at her assessing gaze before she shifted her attention back to Liko.

“I have things handled here. Go on, get some rest yourself. Drink something if you can stomach it, shower, sleep–anything other than working yourself up. If you find yourself spiraling, remember–”

“I know.” Mollie practically drilled various grounding techniques into his head. Whether or not he’d be able to utilize them in that  moment was often a 50/50 chance. At the very least, if he needed… help, Cap knew who to get. Friede preferred to avoid that possibility in the first place so… yeah. He would try not to let his thoughts get the better of him.

Mollie dipped her head once, not saying anymore on that matter. Friede slowly pulled himself away from the wall, forcing his arms to stay by his side instead of staying crossed. He had one foot out of the infirmary when he paused.

“Hey Mollie, when Liko wakes up can you…?”

“I’ll let you know. Whether or not she’ll be up for visitors remains to be seen but I’ll inform you.”

“Thanks.” Friede at last exited the infirmary–only to find himself immediately bombarded by Roy’s worried questions. While briefly stunned, he managed to pull together a mask of his usual confident self. Right now, he needed to be the commander than his crew could rely on. While Mollie handled her task, Friede would perform his.

--

A few hours later, a freshly showered, comfortably dressed Friede that had a mug of Murdock’s calming tea blend in him received a text from Mollie stating that Liko was up. Cap reminded him to keep it cool and not burst out of his cabin in his rush towards the infirmary. 

He barely remembered to knock and waited for Mollie’s faint come in before opening the door. Stepping inside, golden eyes swiftly fell upon the figure sitting on the bed.

Liko, while looking a bit pale and exhausted smiled faintly once she saw him. Friede tampered down the conflicting emotions he didn’t deserve that not when she got hurt because of him to return it with a small smile of his own.

“Hey Liko, how are you feeling?” Friede found it a little surprising that he could sound so gentle like this. He switched places with Mollie, who informed him that she was going to grab a quick meal before leaving the pair alone. 

“U-Um, mostly tired. I’ve got a bit of a headache but Mollie said that’s because of the, um, bump.”

The guilt that settled on the backburner while he kept himself distracted earlier came out full force that he nearly shuddered from how heavy it was. He must have not kept his expression in check since Liko started to frantically assure him.

“Um it’s alright! Or it will be! I just need to be monitored tonight and get plenty of rest.”

Friede would have laughed if it didn’t make him out to be even more pathetic. Look at him, the adult in the room needing assurance from the kid he was supposed to protect.

“Please Liko, I–” Friede released a slow breath. “I’m so, so sorry that you got hurt because I failed to protect you.” 

“N-No it wasn’t–”

“Your mother hired us to protect you, and I failed on that regard,” Friede pushed on. His eyes met her slightly wide, confused ones. “Seeing you unconscious like that… it scared me.”

That last bit came out whispered for he finally acknowledged the primary emotion he tried so very hard to ignore. Friede hated being afraid; he’d take anger, disappointment, guilt–anything other than this all consuming dread and helplessness.

“So I’m not asking for your forgiveness. I only hope that you can still put your trust in us to not fail you a second time.” Having said his piece, he remained quiet while Liko processed it all. Friede waited for whatever judgement she’d give him. 

What Liko did instead surprised him. She huffed out a little giggle, snapping his eyes towards her lightly amused expression. 

“I’m sorry but, um, I just think it’s a little funny that you’d think I lost any trust in you and everyone else in the first place.” Liko played with the edge of her blanket. “What happened today… I know it would have been a lot worse if I had been on my own. Even with Sprigatito, I don’t think we’d have been able to handle two skilled opponents…”

In an uncharacteristically bold move on her end, Liko gently reached out to settle her small hand atop of Friede’s. 

“S-So! Please don’t blame yourself and think that you… failed to protect me. I knew you tried your best! And I’m grateful for that! I’m grateful everyday that you and Mollie and–and everyone look out for me. I’m a part of the Rising Volt Tacklers. I trust all of you… so can you trust me and believe that I’ll be alright?”

Throughout her spiel, Friede simply stared at her in stunned silence. Only after she was done that he dropped his head into his free hand, muffling a resigned chuckle into his palm. 

Liko might not be as confident but man, she reminded him so much of her mother at that moment. The words Liko spoke about trust… it was almost a mirror copy of what she told him years ago when he faced a similar conundrum.

Like mother, like daughter eh? Friede drew in a deep breath before he sat back up, giving her a more genuine smile now.

“Alright, I’ll trust you. You’re really good with your words, you know that?”

“E-Eh? I was just sharing my thoughts…”

Friede knew his guilt won’t be so easily dispersed but he was able to set it aside and make room for this growing part within him that wanted nothing more than to see Liko safe and happy. He made a silent promise to himself that the trust she put in the Rising Volt Tacklers would never be misplaced. 

For now, Friede took heart that everything would reall turn out alright after all.

[robinsnest2111]

Here's the promised Def Leppard/Mötley Crüe concert experience post <3

Under a read more because I don't want to hit any of you with this giant wall of text, videos and photos without any way to skip past lol

I arrived at the venue with time to spare, saw many people in just black bandshirts (for comfort which I totally get. Not everyone's as extra as me who dresses up like he's Mick Mars' stunt double in the 80s lol)

I sadly had to throw away my umbrella. It wasn't allowed inside the pit. I get it, hazard and whatnot. The 4€ fee to have someone look after it and only a half hour window to get it back after the concert ended seemed not worth it for a cheap umbrella so buying a new one on monday it is.

I got myself a shirt as soon as I got in. The choices were not great, gotta admit. Mötley Crüe seem to be going for some japanese-esque Samurai-inspired graphic for their new era (felt like an Iron Maiden copy-ish thing to me, not my thing)

The rest of the black shirts were meh, either too plain or prominently featuring John 5. The only shirt with Mick on it was a pale pink and was 5 bucks more expensive than everything else. All shirts and tank tops, both for Mötley Crüe and Def Leppard, were 45 bucks each (rip my June budget fr), bandanas were 25 bucks, basecaps and limited edition signed prints 35 bucks, etc. The Mötley keychains were all sold out by the end of the night, else I would've gotten one of those. My Iron Maiden keychain from 2018 is looking a bit worn and I would've loved to have a new one but oh well. I can still try and DIY one myself. I wanna get more into bleach-painting and patch making and embroidery anyway so it'd be great practice!

I had a t-shirt and tank top by the end of the night lol

---

After the initial shirt purchase I still had ample time for a toilet break (and a sip of free sink water) after almost 2 hours of travel time and found a nice space in the crowd somewhere in the middle distance from where I could see most of the action on stage.

A local rock radio station did the pre-gig music entertainment. I also met 2 nice dudes who are in a band called Nathanael and play Victorian folk metal! They handed me their business card and I will definitely check them out as soon as I can, maybe even go to one of their gigs soon?

Between the rock radio station signing off and the start of the actual gigs they played some other songs to keep the crowd entertained, Fox On The Run by The Sweet among others! A personal mini highlight 🦊💕

Mötley Crüe was up first and they took their sweet time to actually get on stage.

There was a pretty long classical music piece playing before their proper intro sequence.

The official start was supposed to be around 6.30 pm but they got on stage at sometime around 7.30pm? My inner punctuality freak was not amused but it is what it is lol

I loved the song selection, knew almost all of them but had trouble singing along for reasons other than my Swiss cheese brain. Not sure if it was intentional or just very unluckily adjusted speakers but most of what I heard of the songs was the droning of the subwoofers. Most of Vince's vocals and a bit of Nikki's bass, John's guitar and Tommy's drums were drowned out by the reverb of the sound system and the overwhelming boom of the speakers. Kinda disappointing. It also rendered the audio of most of the videos I filmed during their set useless. But ah well.

As this was my first time seeing Mötley Crüe on stage I have no idea if it's a common thing for the sexy dancer ladies to have their own mics and sing some of Vince's parts? It didn't matter much due to the aforementioned "subwoofer drowning out most of the sound" issue lol

And how could I forget the tits cam zooming in on the crowd, at dear Tommy's request. I guess if you're famous enough you can simply ask to see your fans' tits and most of them happily oblige. I've never seen so many tits out in the wild/on the big screens, it was strange. But it firmly cemented just how wildly asexual I am. Although I am capable of appreciating some nice boobies from an aesthetic point of view no problem, they don't do anything for me beyond that haha

Strangely, the only song the audio was fine on was Home Sweet Home. I really wish I could've heard more of Vince's voice in the other songs like that :')

John 5's formal intro was an almost 2 minutes long guitar solo, not sure how to feel about that. Like yes, he's good, he has the skills, but. Eh.

(Loved the violin bow on guitar strings intro to Kickstart My Heart tho, that was kinda cool :P)

Nikki and Vince introducing their older more well known songs with "Wanna hear more of our old shit?" rubbed me the wrong way? On the other hand Nikki said the band loves Germany (he even waved the German flag on stage) and loves the crowd so, eh. I guess I'm a weenie and that's just how they are haha

Also got a little sad about them changing some of the lyrics to Smoking In The Boys Room (from "my buddies Sixx, Mick and Tom" to "my buddies Sixx, 5 and Tom") and the caricature and logo on the screens near the end of their set featuring John 5 instead of Mick. I wasn't quick enough to get a photo because the sadness of a new Mick-less Crüe era hit me full force in that moment. Can't help that my brain is hyperfixating on Mick Fucking Mars and that I missed him dearly all night long :'))))))

At least they didn't cut him out of any of the 80s footage video edits playing on the big screens during some songs. It would've been pretty asshole-ish if they did. Like completely erasing him from their band history.

On a lighter note: Vince introducing Nikki as his brother, who he has known for over 40 years, and their little in-sync swaying back and forth with the mic stand and bass respectively moment with them laughing and talking and exchanging smiles and grins was super cute :') <3

Also Tommy receiving a small bouquet of roses, smiling, and then proceeding to stuff them down the front of his pants lmao

And that was that for Mötley Crüe

A little break in-between, enough time for another trip to the loo and afterwards sip some more water from the sink like an animal (not gonna pay anything over 5€ for a puny little cup of water from the overpriced beverage stands, no sir)

Def Leppard were in another league compared to Mötley Crüe! Their sound was PERFECT. Very harmonic, powerful, you could hear everyone SO WELL!!! None of the pesky subwoofer problem the Crüe had, and they all looked like they had so much fun!!! I'm not as well-versed with Def Leppard's discography and all the band members (yet), but everyone looked great in their stage outfits! The lights and background videos were so nice too!!!

And they played the 2 songs I do know (Foolin' and Pour Some Sugar On Me)

but also a bunch of songs from the album they worked on during the worst of the pandemic years. Which also sounded very good!!! I'm actually considering buying that new album if I see it out in the wild for a decent price.

The background video montage for Photograph was so adorable with all the pictures from the band's history, from the late 70s to present day. They were all such adorable babies back then and seeing all the photos gave me the same warm fuzzies as looking at old band photos and candid shots online does <333

Very much a 180 to Mötley Crüe in every regard, Joe Elliott thanked us in German and English, and told us the band loves us <33

I might actually try to get more into Def Leppard now that I've seen how awesome they are on stage <33

The crowd for Def Leppard was a little older and less rowdy, a very welcome change. Still a bunch of almost blackout drunk people, sloshing their beer everywhere and bumping into everyone around them. One major thing I dislike about bigger concerts tbh.

---

I also got a bunch of compliments on my hair, make up, and outfit throughout the evening <3

Even got called Nikki (and Mick, after informing people of my style influence) a few times lol

A couple older folks said they admired my style and that you don't see many people like me anymore and that I should keep doing my thing because it's so cool to see :')<333

[Some comments bordered on some icky misogynistic topics tho, like "oh girls nowadays are too prissy and not as cool and rock-n-roll and bold and rough-and-tumble as they were in the 80s/like you", etc.

And yes, I let everyone think I'm a girl. Not worth it trying to correct tipsy and/or drunk off their asses metalheads in a loud crowded venue. I don't really pass on a masculine day; much less dressed to the nines, face slathered in theatrical 80s make up and hair backcombed and hairsprayed to hell and back.]

On my way to the train station I got to talking with some other tram passengers heading home after the concert, an older couple and two guys around my age. The couple had pretty cool battle vests, all covered in various pins and patches. One of my favourites was the Zappa For President patch on the lady's vest which made me think of @feeshies , really wish I'd asked for a photo :')

The guys my age roped me into going to a strip club with them instead of going straight home. They even covered the entry fee for me, so I didn't have to pay anything! They were very respectful and I was free to go whenever I pleased. It was interesting to see pole dancers/strippers up close in real life and not only on TV, but it's definitely not for me lol I'm too aroace and neurodivergent for this. The ladies had some badass pole skills tho! Effortlessly dancing in 10 inch platform stilettos and with barely anything covering their bodies? I could never! Kudos to the ladies!

Anyway, it was good I decided to head home around 1am, I could already feel the joint pain creeping up on me. it's full-blown throbbing and piercing agony, 7/10, now. I only got 3 hours of sleep before the aches woke me up the first time orz

But hey, 3 hours and a bit of dozing here and there are better than nothing. I spent Sunday taking it kinda easy, only did a few chores around the house, and went through all the photos and videos i took (111 files in total) of course! I weeded out all the blurry and shaky ones and the few good ones should be peppered throughout this post!

Hope y'all had a good Sunday and Monday <3

[cinemacentral666]

Iron Sky (2012) & Iron Sky: The Coming Race (2019)

Movies #1,108 & 1,109 • TWO FOR TUESDAYS

"August Sky" month continues here on TWO FOR TUESDAYS.

[[[ NOTE: add link to this in GERMAN CHAINSAW review when you post it to other site ]]]]

These movies are A LOT. But that is by design. You don't put Hitler riding a T-Rex on the moon by accident. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

These two B-movie-ass-looking are somehow Finland's most expensive films ever made, which somehow just adds to the hilarity of the whole endeavor. I definitely liked the original one more so let's start there.

It's all the way in the distant future (2018) and the Nazis, having secretly escaped earth at the end of WWII, have set up shop on the darkside of the moon. A Sarah Palin-like American President is vying for reelection and so she sends an African-American model on a "BLACK to the MOON" promotional gimmick. There is satire and then there is this: something so goofy and overt that it nearly renders any/all commentary moot. But I did find the humor in this amusing to a degree. This was a nice Dr. Strangelove homage? Sure...

I mean, it's a little different because it features a Black man who has been cosmetically turned white against his will and now looks like nearly identical to that Wayan Brothers movie...

The plotline surrounding the idea that the Moon Nazis' discovery of this guy's iPhone and its computing power allowing them to complete their ultimate War Machine weapon is legitimately good satire. (Although the subsequent continuation of this thread in The Coming Race is one of that movie's worst ideas, and it's a real race to the bottom there.)

Look, I hesitate to say too much about either of these. I feel like just knowing the baseline plot is enough for anyone to decide whether or not they want to take the plunge into the Iron Sky Universe (apparently a third installment — featuring Andy Garcia (?!) — is coming out soon?) or not. Who knows. Look, I could appreciate both the humor (to a degree, not everything hits for sure), and the aesthetic (which is very bad! but bad in a way that I liked) but maybe I'm just a freak.

SCORE 6.5/10: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️½

The crowdfunded direct sequel, Iron Sky: The Coming Race came out seven years later and despite featuring Udo Kier as Vril Adolph Hitler, it is easily the lesser effort. Also, somehow, despite being crowdfunded, it led to the bankruptcy of the Iron Sky Universe production company. I love the hubris that is attempting to turn this bonkers idea into a Marvel-like cinematic universe and I also love that it's completely imploded (but again: The Ark: An Iron Sky Story is apparently real so what is dead never truly dies?).

The main issue of this one is that is simply not funny at all. And that's a humongous problem when your movie is so clearly geared to function in that vein.

The legend Udo K. — reprising his role from the original in addition to playing the reptilian Hitler (this is loosely based on the Vril novel and ensuing conspiracy theories which is a whole 'nother can of worms) — has a ton more to do here which is one of the only things going for it. The only other real positive is that the action is ramped up to the nth degree, so you get stuff like Vril Osama bin Laden and Vril Pope Urban II riding wagon-pulling Triceratops off a cliff into a pit of lava and the aforementioned T-Rex/Hitler combo getting karate kicked to death by a blonde lady...

Even though they had a half decade to make this one, the writing is far more shoddy in every single way and there's no bigger example than the Tom Green subplot.

On the remnants of the partially destroyed Nazi Moonbase in 2049 (after nuclear war ruined the earth at the end of the first one — sorry, forgot to mention that detail), he leads a cult called the Jobsists formed around the teachings of Steve Jobs. It's like "remember the interesting stuff we did with Apple/iPhones in the original movie? Well here's some more 'satire' on that only it doesn't make any sense and isn't funny." It's a shame too because I was excited to see Green was in this. It just doesn't work at all.

Anyway, those are the two Iron Sky movies. The pride of Finland! I need to go take a shower.

SCORE: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️½

[skullets-main]

(Credit to the maker of this banner @enkeli-moonsys )

LOOK AT THIS PROCESS GUYS, ITS INCREDIBLE‼️‼️

First time rendering too!! It looks amazing and soon I'm gonna post a story about my oc V0yd (the character drawn up here ☝️) on wattpad!! I'll keep you guys updated but for now here's the lore:

‼️‼️TW//Death and slightly gruesome details‼️‼️

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V0yd was a 18 year old senior in high-school (soon to graduate) Named Dyllin (his friends called him Dyll or Dyll pickle lol), he lived in California and he was planning on leaving off to college to another state so he could go to his dream college, his family didn't like it so his parents (mom and dad) always fought and argued with him about it.

On one particular day, Dyllin got into another argument with his parents after he just tried to have a normal conversation with them, he stormed out of the house hoping to get some time to himself by going for a drive, so he's driving and listening to some sad songs, he closes his eyes, tilts his head back and wishes "I wish I could dissappear. Please.." and just then he snapped back into reality as he hears a loud car beaming at him, he serves, crashes into the other car, the car flips twice with his car landing upside down.

Dyllin wakes up to his music still playing except he's upside down and barely hanging from the seat belt which kept him from falling onto the glass of the windshield. He takes off his seat belt and crashes into the already broken windshield, feeling a weird sensation in his neck, and warm fluids dripping, but he feels no pain so he assumes it must be his sweat, this takes place right after sunset, he opens the driverside door and crawls out of the practically crushed vehicle. Just then some headlights flash onto him blinding him, he tries to adjust his sight and sees two people run out from each side of the car very frantically. He could hear sirens and see their flashing lights, and before the two people could even reach him he collapses.

He wakes again to see no one there anymore. It looked like a crime scene had happened. Blood everywhere. Glass splattered all over the floor and the car is still there, but no one else. "Fucking pricks." He thought in his mind as he stood up, resting his left hand on his right shoulder and stretching a little bit, he looked at his hand and saw blood, he looked at his neck to see a large gash that clotted up, he started his retreat back to home thinking "oh my God. Oh my God. How will I explain this to mom? Oh my God." And as the gravity of thr situation fell on him like a heavy piano he reached home. "Finally. Home. Safe and still alive." He thought. He walked to the porch and as he did the front door swung open to see his mother terrified and pale, he instantly froze in fear and tried to explain himself.

"M-mom. This..- I don't know what happened. I'm sorr-" and in the middle of explaining, his mother ran past him, but not bumping into him, she ran *through* him. He didn't notice but he chased after her and nearly was hit by his mothers car as she frantically backed out of the driveway, shouting, calling for him.

"Mom!! I'm right here..!!" He then took a moment to process what just happened, he got into a car crash, he passed out *twice*, no one was there when he passed out the second time, there was blood everywhere, he was alone. No one took him to the hospital or anything. He thought Over this as he jogged to the house hurriedly, seeing his dad and little sister inside. Terrified. Confused. "Dad!! What's going on!?" He shouted, the man ran to get his phone to call the police and he realized: "no one can see me.."

"Am i.. dead!??" Just then he saw black forming onto his skin, it started from his fingertips, to his hands, to his wrist, his arms, and as this happened it felt like the whole world went silent, he couldn't hear the panic in his sisters tone, he just ran to the bathroom, looking at himself change. Everything sounded like ringing in his ears as he tried to pry away whatever was eating into his very flesh. Screaming until his mouth fused flat against his face as if he was never born with a mouth to begin with, and his face went completely black in the mirror.

Welp!! That's all, I'll update you on when the story comes out! But before that I'm gonna draw another character that is VERY relevant in V0yd's story, see you then!!

[stashandtell]

On Tragedies Over HEAs, Emotional Wrecking Balls And The Next Fic I'm Hitting "Publish" On

Since I'm writing in the Harry Potter Fandom, is it more British to say "Emotional Wrecking Bollocks?" 🙃 Note: This post may contain implied spoilers for several works. Everyone in my IRL life to whom I have revealed my recent love/obsession with Harry Potter fanfiction ends up hearing about Draft of Living Death by Maloreiy. I refuse to shut up about it and if my friends can get past some of the content warnings of the piece, l encourage them to read for the thrill of riding the broken emotional rollercoaster that lands every reader in the sinking pit of "tragically bitter-sweet." Bitter-sweet, that is, if you're the kind of person who drinks extra-strong coffee black and thinks sourdough bread tastes "too sugary." Draft of Living Death deserves its own post of praise and soon I'll be sharing a post here's a post of the fics I have listed as "Emotional Wrecking Balls" in my nightmare of a Fanfiction-I've-Read tracking spreadsheet. While I love a happily-every-after (HEA) ending as much as the next reader, I live for fics that are tragic or at least angsty with an ambiguous ending. Perhaps it's the over-abundance of HEAs that I've read that drives me to seek a counterbalance. OR MAYBE, really, it's because I grew up on late second-wave and early third-wave emo music, so it's ingrained in me to emotionally get off on tortured feelings of unrequited love or stories of partners who can't stay together. I have my list of WIPs (aka Works in Progress) and at least half, if not the majority of them would get the #EmotionalWreckingBall tag. I've only recently shared my first fic and my itchy fingers and addled brain are eager to publish the next piece. Based on which one is closest-to-completion, the work that is the most ready to go is a rough piece whose working title in my Drive is currently just called "Dead Dove Do Not Eat," like the common tag. (See info about the DDDNE tag here.) DDDNE was initially the first fic I wanted to prepare-to-share, but since I wanted to launch this writing project around something tied to Neville's birthday (July 30th) and my love of Nevmione, it just felt like starting on this more difficult piece was not The Vibe(tm). But now that I'm refining this tragic work, it feels very close to the world of the first piece I've already posted, in a way that almost makes them undermine each other. (Read my first fic, In All The Ways That Mattered here.) DDDNE takes place about 2 years after 8th Year Graduation, so it's like a jacked-up sequel to IATWTM, if you've wished for a dismal continuation of the storyline. I haven't looked at DDDNE for a month or two so I was surprised as how much I liked reading it today. The good news, for me, is that there was more tenderness written into this fic than I remembered but then I realized, while editing and filling in some gaps, that I've created more emotional investment latch onto. It'll makes it easier to render the reader gutted, where possible. I'm torn if this should be the second offering I put out there but it's so close to being done that I'm very tempted to just say "eff it" and let it rip. I want to read more tragedies and ambiguous endings in one-short formats. So far, I've found that shorter works focusing on dark themes, angst, and no HEA tend to be more successful in achieving their (perceived) aims than longfics, but maybe that's my bias. I have yet to really find a DDDNE longfic that captures me (but I'm open to suggestions in the comments.) There were two big holes in my DDDNE fic that may end up softening my overall approach, making the final product a little less intense. While I want to rebel against the impulse to make things more palatable, the muse is calling, truly. It's telling me that the ending, which I didn't have until about half an hour ago, needs to inform the next review of the piece and I'll need to place anchors for the logic to stand throughout. When it's posted, I'll link the info for the DDDNE fic here. I'm so curious to know what it's title will end up being!

Read Spawn A Spawn Or Go To Az-kah-bahn on ao3

Check out the post about Spawn A Spawn on my tumblr

[tanpoyo]

(This as of now is 2 and half months old in drafts. I have moved in since then and have hit some road bumps to be able to finally post this now)

I can finally announce this!!

COMMISSIONS WILL BE OPEN FULLY SOON!

A significant milestone in my life has been met. I'm going to be having my own place with my love of my life and it doesn't feel real but is. Her family is being insanely supportive and I especially couldn't have done it without them.

I'll be able to have a workspace to do a lot more. Commissions will be open full throttle and I'm going to be doing my best to create craft stuff to sell that ive been planning to do for over 2 years now.

Commissions will be open as soon as internet is set up. I'll test ways I can stream and optimize my streaming now I have an apple product to take the models running load off of the pc and do my absolute best to achieve my dreams and work to keep this. Please spread this around!!! This would be the best (belated) birthday gift in the world. It was June 10th

Life has never been so bright for me as it is now. I'm so happy I got to live to see it this way. I'm so happy thru all of my major depression issues I've made it here. I still struggle with my mental health. But I can't believe where I am now. I'm Thanking whatever omnipotent omniscient force above to the deepest depths of my soul if there is any at all. I will fight so hard to keep this. Leaving the place of trauma and emotional abuse that has cradled so much of my pain is such a hard thing to comprehend. Fostering a place to thrive is so hard to believe but it's happening 😭😭😭😭😭.

COMMISSIONS WILL BE ON THE CHEAPER SIDE STARTING OUT BUT MAY RAISE IN PRICE AS DEMAND MAY PICK UP!!

Prices for commissions below! I will link a Google document of my terms and services soon!

My art tags are Princelylionart or simply tagged myart/my art for samples of what I have to offer along with my pinterest of the same name having an archive gallery of my work digitally!.

Thank you for reading this far! Again it would be amazing to help get the word out so I can work hard to achieve my dream!!

ALL COMMISSIONS WILL BE TAKEN IN USD!

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Digital sketch (no background or 5$ extra for a simple graphic/color backdrop): 10$

Digital flats (simple graphic/color background) 20$

Digital cell shaded(simple graphic/color background) :30$

Digital cells shaded with simple setting background or graphic: 40$

Digital illustration style artwork: 60$(more complex shading among cell shading. A background setting.)

Please note!

More complex illustrations can and often are subject to extra costs!

•Such as added character subjects including animals (5 to 10 dollars extra is what I usually charge!)

•more complex background design (10$ extra normally)

•shading styles such as painterly or more realistic rendering (this one is pricier but because I will be working much harder on it! 25$ extra for a lineless rendered artstyle!)