Iron Sky (2012) & Iron Sky: The Coming Race (2019)
Movies #1,108 & 1,109 • TWO FOR TUESDAYS
"August Sky" month continues here on TWO FOR TUESDAYS.
[[[ NOTE: add link to this in GERMAN CHAINSAW review when you post it to other site ]]]]
These movies are A LOT. But that is by design. You don't put Hitler riding a T-Rex on the moon by accident. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
These two B-movie-ass-looking are somehow Finland's most expensive films ever made, which somehow just adds to the hilarity of the whole endeavor. I definitely liked the original one more so let's start there.
It's all the way in the distant future (2018) and the Nazis, having secretly escaped earth at the end of WWII, have set up shop on the darkside of the moon. A Sarah Palin-like American President is vying for reelection and so she sends an African-American model on a "BLACK to the MOON" promotional gimmick. There is satire and then there is this: something so goofy and overt that it nearly renders any/all commentary moot. But I did find the humor in this amusing to a degree. This was a nice Dr. Strangelove homage? Sure...
I mean, it's a little different because it features a Black man who has been cosmetically turned white against his will and now looks like nearly identical to that Wayan Brothers movie...
The plotline surrounding the idea that the Moon Nazis' discovery of this guy's iPhone and its computing power allowing them to complete their ultimate War Machine weapon is legitimately good satire. (Although the subsequent continuation of this thread in The Coming Race is one of that movie's worst ideas, and it's a real race to the bottom there.)
Look, I hesitate to say too much about either of these. I feel like just knowing the baseline plot is enough for anyone to decide whether or not they want to take the plunge into the Iron Sky Universe (apparently a third installment — featuring Andy Garcia (?!) — is coming out soon?) or not. Who knows. Look, I could appreciate both the humor (to a degree, not everything hits for sure), and the aesthetic (which is very bad! but bad in a way that I liked) but maybe I'm just a freak.
SCORE 6.5/10: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️½
The crowdfunded direct sequel, Iron Sky: The Coming Race came out seven years later and despite featuring Udo Kier as Vril Adolph Hitler, it is easily the lesser effort. Also, somehow, despite being crowdfunded, it led to the bankruptcy of the Iron Sky Universe production company. I love the hubris that is attempting to turn this bonkers idea into a Marvel-like cinematic universe and I also love that it's completely imploded (but again: The Ark: An Iron Sky Story is apparently real so what is dead never truly dies?).
The main issue of this one is that is simply not funny at all. And that's a humongous problem when your movie is so clearly geared to function in that vein.
The legend Udo K. — reprising his role from the original in addition to playing the reptilian Hitler (this is loosely based on the Vril novel and ensuing conspiracy theories which is a whole 'nother can of worms) — has a ton more to do here which is one of the only things going for it. The only other real positive is that the action is ramped up to the nth degree, so you get stuff like Vril Osama bin Laden and Vril Pope Urban II riding wagon-pulling Triceratops off a cliff into a pit of lava and the aforementioned T-Rex/Hitler combo getting karate kicked to death by a blonde lady...
Even though they had a half decade to make this one, the writing is far more shoddy in every single way and there's no bigger example than the Tom Green subplot.
On the remnants of the partially destroyed Nazi Moonbase in 2049 (after nuclear war ruined the earth at the end of the first one — sorry, forgot to mention that detail), he leads a cult called the Jobsists formed around the teachings of Steve Jobs. It's like "remember the interesting stuff we did with Apple/iPhones in the original movie? Well here's some more 'satire' on that only it doesn't make any sense and isn't funny." It's a shame too because I was excited to see Green was in this. It just doesn't work at all.
Anyway, those are the two Iron Sky movies. The pride of Finland! I need to go take a shower.
SCORE: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️½
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MUSES.
list order: seasonal, marvel, sons of anarchy, twd, general horror, stephen king's universe, anne rice's novels, && others
–SEASONAL / FEATURED. may become permanent if they gather partners. i won’t delete seasonal and featured muses if i am writing with people and we have threads and plots!
none, atm. removed to moved to permanent depending on interest!
–MARVEL/MCU.
name: steven grant rogers
age: verse dependent
sexual preference: bisexual
occupation: captain america
faceclaim: chris evans
notes: heavily canon divergent in endgame. if you are curious on my development and writing style for steve, his main blog was/may be again found @shieldbound.
name: james buchanan barnes
age: 19+
sexual preference: bisexual
occupation: wwii sergeant, former winter soldier, assassin, wanderer.
faceclaim: sebastian stan
notes: a long running character for me that i miss terribly and need to write again. i just don't have the spoons to run a lot of blogs. he is near and dear to me. if you're curious about how much i've developed and love him, you can find my main blog for him here. @loyaltyworn
name: wanda maximoff
age: verse dependent
sexual preference: bisexual
occupation: verse dependent
faceclaim: timeline dependent
notes: will write any time in mcu/wandavision timeline only.
–SONS OF ANARCHY.
name: jax teller
age: 25+
sexual preference: straight
occupation: soa member of various ranks, mechanic
faceclaim: charlie hunnam
notes: divergent past last episode
–THE WALKING DEAD.
name: paul ‘jesus’ rovia
age: 27+
sexual preference: homosexual
occupation: thief, survivalist, menace, reluctant leader of hilltop
faceclaim: tom payne
note: i do have an alternative take on the graveyard scene that gives him his comic ending on this blog cause eff that noise. a lot of my paul content is on his singular blog @nomadical and you're more than welcome to check out my headcanons and writing for him there!
–GENERAL HORROR.
name: stuart 'stu' macher
age: 18-40+
sexual preference: bisexual
occupation: infamously known accomplice to william 'billy' loomis, ghostface killer 2, serial killer, all reformed of course, it was a bad childhood and a whole lot of crazy video games without supervision--okay? recently released from a maximum security psychiatric hospital much to the public's outrage.
faceclaim: matthew lillard
fandom: scream
name: wilhelmina "mina" murray / harker
age: 20+
sexual preference: bisexual
occupation: schoolmistress, wife (in other verses can range from warrior to dracula's lover and wife to agent for the british secret service and leader of the league of extraordinary gentleman as i'll play both versions of her. bram's or league's!)
faceclaim: winona ryder in bram stoker's / peta wilson in league
fandom: bram stoker (default) / abc/dc/disney (pick one. all over the place.)
name: david mills
age: 32+
sexual preference: straight , bi-curious (with plotting!)
occupation: homicide detective
faceclaim: brad pitt
fandom: se7en
name: eric draven
age: 24-28 living, 28+ post devil’s night
sexual preference: bi-curious
occupation: heavy metal guitarist, mechanic to pay the bills, backup/side gig singer if forced.
faceclaim: brandon lee
fandom: the crow
name: shelly webster
age: 21+
sexual preference: bisexual
occupation: photographer
faceclaim: sofia shinas, morena baccarin
fandom: the crow
–STEPHEN KING'S UNIVERSE.
name: daniel “danny” torrance
age: 35+
sexual preference: straight, bicurious
occupation: drifter, janitor, caregiver, blessed/cursed with the shining.
faceclaim: ewan mcgregor
fandom: the shining & doctor sleep, stephen king verses
–ANNE RICE'S NOVELS.
name: louis de pointe du lac
age: 25, born 1766
sexual preference: demisexual
occupation: former plantation owner (mortal and beginning of vampire life), owns real estate in and around new orleans mostly now under various pseudonyms, vampire
faceclaim: brad pitt (1994)
–OTHERS.
name: malcolm whitly bright
age: 32+
sexual preference: questioning
occupation: former special agent. profiler, psychologist, nypd consultant
faceclaim: tom payne
fandom: prodigal son
–&& THE SIDEBLOG // PLACES TO FIND ME.
name: dean winchester
age: 21+
sexual preference: bisexual
occupation: we'll just leave it at hunter. can we leave it there? okay. yeah.
faceclaim: jensen ackles
fandom: hbo introduces supernatural
blog: bloodsalted
name: jack kline
age: ageless
sexual preference: ????
occupation: hunter, winchester, god?
faceclaim:��alexander calvert
fandom: hbo introduces supernatural
blog: lasthymn
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The Major Villains of Once Upon a Time:
Rumplestiltskin / Mr. Gold (Robert Carlyle)
The Evil Queen / Regina Mills (Lana Parilla)
King George / Albert Spencer (Alan Dale)
The Queen of Hearts / Cora Mills (Barbara Hershey)
Captain Hook / Killian Jones (Colin O’Donoghue)
Greg Mendell / Owen Flynn (Ethan Embry)
Tamara (Sonequa Martin-Green)
Peter Pan / Malcolm (Robbie Kay)
The Wicked Witch of the West / Zelena Mills (Rebecca Mader)
The Snow Queen / Ingrid (Elizabeth Mitchell)
Ursula (Merrin Dungey)
Cruella De Vil (Victoria Smurfit)
Maleficent (Kristin Bauer Van Straten)
The Author / Isaac Heller (Patrick Fischler)
King Arthur (Liam Garrigan)
Nimue (Caroline Ford)
Hades (Greg Germann)
Jafar (Naveen Andrews, Oded Fehr)
The Red Queen / Anastasia (Emma Rigby)
The Jabberwocky (Peta Sergeant)
Mr. Hyde (Sam Witwer)
The Evil Queen II (Lana Parilla)
Gideon Gold (Giles Matthey)
The Black Fairy / Fiona (Jaime Murray)
Rapunzel Tremaine / Victoria Belfrey (Gabrielle Anwar)
Drizella Tremaine / Ivy Belfrey (Adelaide Kane)
Hansel / Jack / The Candy Killer / Nick Branson (Nathan Parsons)
Dr. Facilier / Baron Samdi (Daniel Francis)
Mother Nature / Mother Gothel / Eloise Gardener (Emma Booth)
Wish Realm Rumplestiltskin (Robert Carlyle)
Which are your favorites?
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