#starter call: i could keep goin' all night

[poisonedspider]

HAZBIN HOTEL BEACH WEEK STARTER CALL.

Only like this post if you are participating in @hellsdisneyprincess's Hazbin Hotel Beach Week. Angie looks hot in his bikini, and he wants to get some threads going. These threads will all take priority over my other threads for the week, though I still intend to do anything and all I can.

Depending on when you 'like' this starter call (I'll reblog it every day) will determine what kind of starter you get. I'm going off the main days, so like, whatever the 'theme' of what is happening that day is will lead into the starter if that makes sense.

[fullstcp]

"The Golden Years" by Joshua Bassett Sentence Starters

BITING MY TONGUE

"Silence speaks louder than I ever could."

"I can't breathe, I'm suffocating on my words."

"Maybe the story that's been left unsaid is gasoline just waiting for the perfect match."

"I just wanna love and not look back."

"Forget the promises we can't keep."

"I'm begging you to set me free."

"Can you blame me for that?"

"You're running your mouth, it's wearing me down."

"I'm tryna be better than I've ever been."

"Hope you got all that you wanted."

"I don't want revenge."

"I won't hurt you how you hurt me."

"I want this to end."

THE GOLDEN YEARS

"Time stopped moving the minute I saw you."

"I'd rather be fighting with you than alone in the city we knew."

"It was fun 'til it hurt."

"Now I'm terrified that I'll never find love like yours."

"I woulda held you longer that night when you kissed me goodbye through your tears."

"I woulda never left you alone when you needed me most."

"Those were the golden years."

"Dance with me under the cherry tree, darling."

"I'm still in love with the story of us."

"We were young, but our love, it was real."

DANCING WITH TEARS IN MY EYES

"I lied when I said I'm fine."

"Standing on the edge is something we'll regret."

"We're making a mess of the bed we made."

"We're playing with fire we already tamed."

"We shoulda known better."

"I cry every time our song comes on."

"Everybody's asking if I'm happy for ya."

"Nothing to regret, we went our separate ways."

"It's eating me alive to see you doing better."

"Maybe more wine will help me forget ya."

"Seeing you tonight, I'm right back where we met."

DON'T LET ME DOWN

"Don't you remember early September?"

"Our ship was sinking, we held on as long as we could."

"I cried on your shoulder, now I don't know you."

"I keep replaying it over and over."

"We made a mess, but we were just kids then."

"We fell off the deep end."

"I can't forget the way that you held me."

"You say you want me again."

"Don't you remember the hell we were in?"

"I haven't been the same since you left."

"Half of my heart is still there in your hands."

"If you pick me back up off the ground, don't let me down."

"How do I know that you actually need me?"

"You say it's different, I wanna believe you."

"Maybe this time is for real."

"Nobody loves like you did."

"Don't you tell me that you want me just to walk away now."

"Don't you tell me that you love me if you don't know how."

"Let's turn around."

"I won't let you down."

"We'll figure it out."

CHERRY BLOSSOM

"We talk too much."

"We're growing up but we're still young enough to crush."

"Say you're staying through the autumn."

"You bag the picnic, I'll pick you up."

"Is it too early to call this love?"

"I'll never ever get enough."

CIRCLES

"We've been here before."

"Your carousel hell got me chained to the floor."

"I've been falling for your sweet seduction."

"Can't believe you're fooling me again."

"I've been running for my life."

"I've been wasting all my youth on you."

"You got me goin' in circles."

"You're making me bleed but calling it love."

"You pull me close, but keep me at a distance."

"Where do I go from here?"

WILDFIRE

"Now I'm standing in the ash and broken dishes wondering where it all went wrong."

"Now there's nothing left of you and me."

"It was heartbreak to the third degree."

"We had it good and it was good until it wasn't."

"There's no, nowhere to run."

"We'll never make it out."

"We're too close to the sun."

"We let it burn and called it love."

"Would you look what we've become?"

"You asked for a light now we started a wildfire."

"We were reckless, we were young and we were stupid."

"We knew what we were doing."

"Two wrongs don't ever make a right."

"Don't look away."

"There's nothing left to save."

"Just kiss me goodbye."

"We're not gonna make it out alive."

"It's far too late to save us."

"Don't say it's all okay."

"It's too much."

"Just face it, we're dying."

"No point in even trying."

LITTLE RITA

"20 years going up in smoke standing in the ash of all you knew."

"I know this life isn't easy."

"You'd know that I will be right here."

"Home is where the heart is, and my heart is always near."

"I promise in no time that you'll be fine, and everything will be alright."

"Sometimes life just isn't fair."

"We're just glad to see you rise."

"Love is all that matters, anyway."

"I know it's scary, I know it's sad."

"No one knows how long they really have."

WOULD YA TELL ME

"I've been waiting."

"I've been wondering where you are."

"Say you're not too far gone."

"I don't know where my love went when you left."

"I don't know where my heart was when you were here."

"What if you're still in love with someone else?"

"What if you're still the one for someone else?"

"Would you tell me?"

"Sunlight don't shine now that you're not around."

"I don't wanna know who's taking you home."

MIRROR

"Where did it all go wrong?"

"There's blood on my hands."

"I don't understand."

"I don't recognize the face in the mirror."

"The face in the mirror isn't mine."

"Won't somebody help me?"

LOOK HOW FAR YOU'VE COME

"I know you can't see the light right now."

"You taught yourself to swim so you don't drown."

"Look how far you've come."

"You've been running far too long."

"Cry a little longer if it helps."

"You can't choose the place you're born. Your hair, your name, your baby clothes."

"Getting here, you did that on your own."

"I promise someday that it'll make sense."

[calisources]

CHARLIE PUTH SONG LYRICS SENTENCE STARTERS. sorted by song, a few of my favorite lines from charlie puth's songs. change pronouns/names however you see fit. warning, some of these songs include topics of the like: cheating, being cheated on, jealousy, breakups, feelings of grief and loss.

ATTENTION

I know that dress is karma, perfume regret

You got me thinking 'bout when you were mine

You just want attention, you don't want my heart

Maybe you just hate the thought of me with someone new

You're just making sure I'm never gettin' over you

What are you doin' to me? What are you doin', huh?

THAT'S NOT HOW THIS WORKS

Saw you with someone and thought that it was closure, but you still tell me that you need me

Can't you just make up your mind?

You can't say you hate me, then call me when you're hurt

You can't walk away, then come back to what we were

Stop remindin' me of when we said "forever", I know exactly what you're doin'

When you say you need to drop off all my sweaters, It's just one of your еxcuses

SEE YOU AGAIN (ORIGINAL VERSION)

We've come a long way from where we began

Why'd you have to leave so soon?

Why'd you have to leave me when I needed you the most?

I know you're in a better place, but it's always gonna hurt

How do I breathe without you?

Hold every memory as you go

WE DON'T TALK ANYMORE

We don't talk anymore, like we used to do

I just heard you found the one you've been looking for

I wish I would have known that wasn't me

Why I can't move on, just the way you did so easily

I just hope you're lyin' next to somebody, who knows how to love you like me

HOW LONG

Can't you blame my head and not my heart?

I was drunk, I was gone, that don't make it right, but. . .

I Promise there were no feelings involved

How long has this been goin' on?

But you gotta believe me, when I say it only happened once

LEFT AND RIGHT

Maybe I should just focus on me instead

Memories follow me left and right

Your love stays with me day and night

How much more do I gotta drink for the pain?

You do things to me that I just can't forget

Now all I think about, Are the nights we were tangled up in your bed

GIRLFRIEND

Baby, would you ever want to be my girlfriend?

This is more than just a phase

We could make this official

Don't we look perfect, baby?

I don't wanna play no games

I'm tired of this conversation

EMPTY CUPS

You wanna go upstairs but you don't wanna sleep

Your boyfriend's no competition

Turn off your phone and blame it on your battery

Turn that television up so nobody can listen

Maybe tomorrow, they'll all have something to say

Let me take you to another room,so it's only us

SMELLS LIKE ME

You´re lonely when you're in his arms, you know I prayed for that

Tell me, do you ever miss me when I'm gone? 

Wonderin' what body I'll be on

Don't even front, you know that you just can't compare, what it used to be

And when you touch him, does it really feel the same?

I hope your jacket smells like me

Are you sleepin' in my T-shirt again?

How's it feel when you press it, press it, up against your skin

DONE FOR ME

You think that you could be better off with somebody new

Well, if you wanna leave, there ain't nobody stopping you

I won't fall to the ground on my knees

But tell me what you've done for me

I never cheated 

I can't apologize for something that I didn't do

LIGHT SWITCH

Why you callin' at 11:30, when you only wanna do me dirty?

Why you always wanna act like lovers, but you never wanna be each others'?

You're the one that I can't deny

You turn me on like a light switch

Do you love it when you keep me guessin'

When you're leaving then you leave me stressin'? 

I say, "Don't look back", but I go right back 

You know how to just make me want you, baby

[veneror]

; # ❝ 𝐈 𝐂𝐀𝐍'𝐓 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄. ❞

↪ whump starters for : @bxdbunni ( accepting! )

TO  ANGEL  DUST,   the silence that permeated through the hallway felt clinical and wrong. noise made itself a home in the hazbin hotel   ⸺   if it wasn’t the SCURRYING FOOTSTEPS of nifty with an icepick in her hands, chasing a cockroach, it was the melodic hum of 20’s jazz coming from alastor’s old cathedral - style radio. THERE WAS ALWAYS SOMETHING. especially with jax’s recent arrival only bringing another layer of constant white noise to the hotel’s hallways. 

(   HE  PREFERRED  IT  THIS  WAY.   )   the predictability of it all. the bedroom that charlie had initially put jax in was RIGHT BESIDE ANGEL’S OWN,  and so often, when the both of them laid awake in their respective rooms in the middle of the midnight   ⸺  angel could fall asleep to the sound of jax humming to himself from the other side of the shared wall.   (  a low and softened voice made of brown sugar and toffee  /  you never knew you could fall in love with someone’s tone until you met him  )

.    .   .    but tonight, things were undoubtedly  OFF.  

alastor was out for the evening, off doing business in the middle of FUCK - ALL - WHO - CARES.  ( it couldn’t be him. )   the others were retired for the night as the clock began ticking a little past 10 PM. angel could’ve  ⸺  no, SHOULD’VE been out. the neon lights were calling his name. BUT  . . . 

⸺    ❝    oi   -   thumper  !   haven’t heard from ‘ya all day, ‘ya still up there ?    ❞

he climbs the stairs to jax’s door instead.

THERE’S  NO  REPLY,   and he’d be lying if he said that didn’t strike him as ODD at the very least. angel’s shoulders tensed as he knocked at the door   /   NO  RESPONSE  !   he’s almost expecting a jumpscare when he opens the door   (  had he always kept it unlocked?  ),  but instead, angel faces something . . .  uncharacteristic.

the rabbit is curled against the wall facing the bedroom door, long legs tucked tightly against his chest and his ears perked up so high they TWITCH with the effort. only  CLOSER  could angel see that he wasn’t twitching  -   he was TREMBLING,   and angel SWEARS he feels a cold fist clamp around his lungs and rip the air from his body all at once.    . . .   HE STARES VACANTLY FORWARD,  only meeting angel’s eyes when he sees the spider sink to his knees, down to jax’s level on the floor.

❝    the hell’s goin’ on with ‘ya, funny - bunny  ?    ❞    angel whispers, the effort to make jax laugh going up in smoke when he starts to hear the soft, pained WHEEZES every time jax tried to take a breath  /   as if he were trying to hyperventilate around a closed throat. angel’s smile dies in an instant.

(    BECAUSE YOU REMEMBER WHAT IT FELT LIKE, DON’T YOU ?  you remember putting both hands over your mouth to keep the cries SILENT, sitting on the bathroom floor in a hotel that just felt like  RENT  -  FREE  LIVIN’.   because nobody needed to hear you. nobody needed to  KNOW   -    )

at the whispered confession that jax couldn’t breathe, angel scooted closer, grabbing ahold of the rabbit’s hands and squeezing tight.  ❝   c’mon, yes ‘ya can. just gotta focus on me, alright ?   nothin’s gonna happen to ‘ya.  i swear it.    ❞

[hfjfotjihii]

sentence starters taken from ludo's album "you're awful, i love you"

LOVE ME DEAD.

"High-maintenance means you're a gluttonous queen."

"Kill me romantically."

"You're awful, I love you."

"You suck so passionately."

"You're a parasitic, filthy creature finger-banging my heart."

"You call me up drunk, does the fun ever start?"

"You're hideous and sexy."

"How's your new boy? Does he know about me?"

"You're born of a jackal, you're beautiful!" DRUNKEN LAMENT.

"You said "Forever." Tell me, why can't you stay?"

"Say the word and I'll change."

"Tell me "Forever." Tell me you'll come back to stay." PLEASE.

"I'll come back for you, love, I promise to."

"I'll be gone by first light, last chance, hold tight." TOPEKA.

"Do you think you'll get away from the past?"

"Every saint has a past, every sinner has a future." LAKE PONTCHARTRAIN.

"It was the kinda night that makes you think the whole world's goin' to hell."

"That's how it happened, why would I lie?"

"There were no bodies; I've got nothin' to hide." SUCH AS IT ENDS.

"I've been losing sleep for days."

"Into the flames we'll start again, and in the end I'll be with you." MUTINY BELOW.

"But you're here now, can you come in?"

"You made me feel alive again, I wish we'd never met."

"I finally let go and learned to live without you."

"Just one more night."

"I can't hang on, let me go." STREETLIGHTS.

"Against our two rooms, I'll see you tonight." GO-GETTER GREG.

"Hi. You must be new, I guess at least you're new to me."

"Saw you unpacking your car, so I said to myself, "Maybe I should help them out," since we're neighbors now."

"By the way, I live in 207, my name is _____."

"Wherever are my manners? Let me get that heavy box!"

"Didn't mean to sneak up on you there. I looked downstairs and saw you leaving, so what's up?"

"I haven't seen you at the pool since the barbecue. Not that I've been checking."

"Here's the deal, I've got this thing for work this weekend and I was wondering if you don't have anything going on, then maybe-"

"Okay, hey, that's cool, you're busy."

"I've given it some thought and I really think that you could use a guy like me in your life."

"I'll leave it there. Call me back. Call me back." THE HORROR OF OUR LOVE.

"I've murdered half the town, left you love notes on their headstones."

"I'll fill the graveyards until I have you."

"I'm your servant, my immortal."

"There's catastrophe in everything I'm touching."

"You die like angels sing."

"Oh, the horror of our love, never so much blood." SCREAM, SCREAM, SCREAM.

"Would you ever stop and listen?"

"Would you open up your eyes?"

"Would you scream with me?"

"There's nothing catchy 'bout the life of a saint."

"Say goodnight, goodbye, love. In the morning you will see."

"I'd rip my eyes out for you!"

"It's so dark tonight, I don't know why."

"Would it make you cry?"

"Would you finally see that all your lives are moments?"

"All your words and closeness keep you here and human."

"Do you think they'll ever care?" IN SPACE.

"No celestial body could compare to you."

"I can't wait for gravity to bring you close to me."

"I bet the leaves are changing there again."

"I hope this message finds you and you won't feel so alone, even if I never make it home."

"All I think about is you and me."

"Your picture's all I look at."

[nomenomens]

Nomen

Chapter X - Don't Worry

CW: none, but please consult 'About Nomen' for more informations

WC: around 2800 words

Previous Chapter : IX - Evermore

Next Chapter : XI - Apocalypse

Masterlist

************************************************************************************************************************************************

March 2, Wednesday, 16:12 (present time)

“You can’t go to China out of the blue.”

“That’s exactly why you’re going there, Seb. We have a bunch of names to investigate and I think it would be best if you observe them from a distance, then we’ll decide how to move. First, we have to confirm what the files say, how much of that is true and possible, then we’ll elaborate a plan and you could arrange some meetings for me. We have our own theories but we don’t know for certain.”

“If you order me I’ll go, but I think it would be unwise to leave you alone here.”

“And why? Eren is gone, and I don’t know if he’ll come back, but I’m sure he wouldn’t hurt me. Yes, I have inherited all of Cesare’s enemies, but none of them knows where I am and-“

“They probably know by now.”

“Well, they haven’t acted once in these years, I doubt they’ll start now. Also, I have Mey-Rin and Finnian. You trust them too.”

“I do, but they’re not me. They’re not immortal for starters.”

“Then we’ll just escape safely and reach you. Or I’ll evoke you. Now, I guess you first need to find Jiang Cheng…”

She didn’t know I was the one to hum to her at night to keep her alive. There were good nights, where my humming wasn’t needed, but still there were nights when suddenly she stopped breathing and I was the one to take care of her. If only My Lord hadn’t gave her the habit of falling asleep together and sing for her, I would be free of this agony and I wouldn’t have to worry about leaving her with Mey-Rin all those nights. Worrying and caring aren’t things demons are familiar with, so why I felt my chest tightening once again after she told me to go to China for her? Why leaving her seemed wrong and irresponsible? 

************************************************************************

Fall, almost six years ago

“When you feel no one knows what you’re goin’ through,

when your insides feel much colder than snow,

don’t worry, darlin’

‘cause I’m here with you.

Oh, don’t worry, darlin’,

I’ll always love you.”

“My Lord-“

“Shh. Sebastian, speak lower. She’s asleep.”

“Pardon me, My Lord, but mr. Abberline still refuse to cooperate with us for the kidnapping case. He refused the money.”

“As I expected. Well, I’ll think of that later, now let me sing for her a little more. Oh, and I’ll sleep here tonight.”

“With the miss?”

“Yes, she’s hugging me, as you can see, and I’m tired and I don’t want to get up and wake her.”

“Don’t you think this could become a problem later?”

“You’ll call me at dawn and I’ll sneak out of the window, so her dad won’t find me when he comes to wake her up, as I did all week. I don’t think there’s a problem with that.”

“No, My Lord. I meant, won’t this be a problem for her when you’re gone? You’re spoiling her.”

“She’s my sister, I want to make up for the time I’ve lost with her and since I know I don’t have much left, I want to give her all of my affection now. Of course I’m spoiling her.”

“It is cruel of you.”

“As life is. She has to learn how to love, how to lose it all and recover from it. She’ll have to know how strong she can be and how fragile she could become to be able to know herself and gain control. I don’t want to live with regrets and I wish she wouldn’t either. This is possibly the only lessons I could try to teach her: to feel is not a fault, have confidence in your capacities and live with no regrets.”

“That’s very wise and very wicked of you, My Lord.”

“Don’t mock me, Sebastian. She is all I have left, and I’m selfish enough to spoil her despite how she’ll feel later because I know she’ll get over it. She’s not strong now, but she will be. And you’ll help her find her way when she’s lost and protect her.”

“I don’t think I will. May I remind you that I am a demon? I get my power when people lose their way.”

“I know, but I also know you’ll do it if I order you to. You’ll do everything that I do for her and even more, I just need to say the words. I can’t control what you’ll do after you eat my soul but I’m sure that by that time she will already rooted in your heart, or whatever you have inside your chest. She isn’t special and that’s her blessing, you start to care for her without even noticing and believe me when I say this is as lethal as poison. My darlin’ Lucrezia, look at her, so innocent and unaware of the iron underneath her ivory skin, as someone said. I bet you will even sing for her when I won’t. But that’s a conversation for another day. Now go, I’m tired and overall I think she’s waking. A bomb could drop and she wouldn’t wake up, but God forbid someone starts to murmur. So contradictory.”

“As you wish, My Lord.”

That vicious bastard was right. Even if I didn’t care for her and I stayed only to find a way to get My Lord’s soul, I ended up doing all sorts of embarrassing things for her sake, even singing. So pathetic. 

************************************************************************

March 23, Wednesday, 15:53 (present time)

Spring came, Sebastian had been in China for two weeks now, and I had Mey-Rin attached to my side even at night. I told her numerous times that I was fine sleeping alone, since I had my player to listen to music and I was an adult, but she seemed scared to accept my orders. 

“M-mr. Sebastian ordered me to follow his orders and never leave you out of sight. S-sorry Ma’am. In the meantime…”

Those were the only words I got from her every time I tried to convince her to rest at night instead of staying at the foot of my bed as Sebastian used to do before the recent developments in our physical relationship. It didn’t matter how many times I told her it was creepy and unnecessary, she stood there relentlessly. I wanted to give her a breathing, time off to spend relaxing, since for the past two weeks she had slept only few hours a day, when I was engaged in university lessons. When I was a Land God, I had a lot more people around who could take care of me and ease Cesare’s paranoia about something happening to me, but since Tomoe died and Mikage took back his rightful title, I broke off every relationships with that world. I wasn’t able to see the spirits, Onikiri and Kotetsu, since I lost my temporary powers and Mikage went back with my other familiar, Mizuki, at the shrine, in Japan. It was the right thing to do for all of us, just get back to our own lives and try to move on since I had failed my mission to save Tomoe from his curse. Mikage wasn’t even angry or disappointed at me and that only infuriated me: I needed for someone to hate and resent me for my incompetence like Akura-Ou did. I couldn’t bear forgiveness or compassion, I wanted to be blamed and atone for my mistakes through pain, as I thought I deserved to. I was so mad at Mikage and Mizuki for their persistent affection after what I did that I resorted to treat them badly, telling them that we didn’t have nothing to share anymore and ignoring them. Finally, I asked Cesare to step in, to help me making them go away, and whatever he did ultimately worked: everyone left the day after. I missed deeply everyone of them, even the mount Kurama’s clan, but a part of me was still convinced I didn’t deserve their forgiveness and so I never contacted them again, not even to say how sorry I was for treating that way. One day maybe I would find the courage to face them again and apologize, but for now all I could do was missing them. 

“…Were you listening, Ma’am?”

“Sorry Mey-Rin, i was spacing out. I was thinking that you could need someone to help you here with me if Sebastian still needs time to figure things out in China. Maybe I should hire someone new.”

“Mr. Sebastian just wrote exactly about this. He says in his report that there is no trace of Jiang Cheng, as if he secluded himself somewhere, but he’s coming back with another of your brother acquaintance, and-”

“Someone wanted to meet me? That’s surprising. I thought they hated Cesare.”

“According to mr. Sebastian he doesn’t at all, but he didn’t write anything more about this man in the report.”

“If Sebastian is bringing this man here immediately, he has to be trustworthy. Anyway, I interrupted you. Sorry. Please, continue.”

“No worries, Ma’am. Sebastian says he found someone who could begin to work here with us. Says that he’s sure you’ll like him.”

“Well, he did a good job finding you and Finnian, so he’s probably right. And you really need a break.”

“Thank you, Ma’am. Finnian and I can still manage though.”

“Barely. You’re precious, but you’re not even resting correctly. In any case, since Sebastian is coming back I think we’ll discuss it when he’s here. Did he say anything about Mo Xuanyu?”

“No, Ma’am. Not a word.”

“This worries me. If he spoke abou- Ted! Don’t stop like that! Who are you aiming at?”

My dog had suddenly stopped walking and pointed somewhere to the right and I ended up almost stumbling on him as I was looking at Mey-Rin, who was walking at my left. As I reprimand him I felt Mey-Rin grab my arm, while pressing two fingers of her free hand to her ear to better listen Finnian through the earbud.

“Ma’am, Finnian let him come up this way, I guess Ted has recognized his scent.”

“Who are you talking about?”

She pointed at my right while releasing my arm and I followed the direction her finger suggested and found a figure approach me. It took me a few moments to realize who he was, his features had slightly changed in a few months and his clothes were now completely different, but his green eyes always seemed determined to let the whole world burn. 

“So, you’re back. I thought I was a threat to your plans and decided to never come here again.”

“You gave me a lot to think about.”

“Did you change your mind about your stupid plan?”

“Of course not. It’s the only solution and my brother agrees with me.”

“No, he doesn’t. You’re deceiving him.”

“Well, it’s not like you could tell that to someone. By the way, I’m not here to discuss again. I still think you’re my best shot at protecting the people I care about, and I thought about your proposal. If you’re bound to secrecy there’s nothing you can do to stop me, unless you manage to kill me now, which you won’t. So, I accept.  Meet my Commander and my squad and protect them. But I don’t understand something.”

“What?”

“Why are you helping me or them? What do you gain from this since you’re refusing to take the crown?”

“I don’t question my files, I just act according what I feel to do. I’m an Eldian of Royal lineage that has access to a lot of resources, it’s my duty to intervene and it’s my personal wish to help who is in need. I care about you and your squad. I read about you on the files and I feel for what you’ve gone through. I don’t personally know all of you but I sense a connection and I wish to live with no regrets. You’re going to destroy the world, Eren Jaeger. I want to do something about it.”

Eren looked at me with a mixture of his branding rage and a tint relief. I felt sorry for him and felt shame about that because I knew how much suffering he was going to bring to the world. But I was also aware of the amount of pain e felt. I was conflicted about him. He spoke again. 

“In the next few days I’ll come here with my Commander and my squad. For now we are just observing your country, but soon you’ll meet them.”

“What do they know?”

“That you have industries and power and you’re an Eldian but only recently discovered to be one thanks to the files you receive.”

“How much do they know about the files? They know we’ve met?”

“I told them I contacted you privately because I saw your name in one of my father’s memories and I wanted to be sure before putting everyone at risk. They know you can see a possible future but can’t reveal it because the files you receive are a secret that has nothing to do with the Titans, we shouldn’t even know about them, I just do because of Grisha.”

“Good. How did they take it?”

“I was scolded, but they’re willing to see for themselves if you can be trusted. That is why now they’re observing this country. Now I have to go, or they’ll notice I’m missing again.”

“I’ll wait for all of you.”

I didn’t have to wait for long. 

************************************************************************

March 24, Thursday, 12:54 (present time) 

I wasn’t a good cook. I could do some of the basics but I didn’t really have a talent for it. I cooked for my mum when she was at work and I didn’t have university lessons, just as I was doing that day. For once, I thought, I could stay in the kitchen without hearing Sebastian mocking me for how slow, insecure and unexperienced I was. I decided to put on some music since Mey-Rin was resting in her apartment, that was just below mine. When I was at home during the day she accepted to left me alone and rest since Finnian would surveil the surroundings while taking care of his loved plants as the gardener of the neighborhood. I was scanning through the vinyls on the shelf in my room and opted for The 1975 and their record “Notes On A Conditional Form”, side D, track 4. I started to sing while returning to kitchen after turning up the volume.

“When blackness hangs overhead like a cloud, 

Don’t worry, darlin’, ‘cause I’m here with you.

Don’t worry, darlin’, the sun will shine through.”

I loved this song and now I was even able to enjoy it again. It was like Cesare was singing it to me again and the memory of him dedicating it to me started to flow. Instead of screaming and crying while digging my nails on my scalp making it bleed as I used to do the summer after he died, now I could sing it like we were making a duet. It comforted me. I always tear up a bit, but that was nothing compared to how I used to cry back then. I heard a rustle behind me while I was scanning through the fridge, deciding what to prepare for lunch and I turned towards that sound. I stopped singing. The music was still going on but those beautiful verse were now disturbed by the incessant beep of the fridge’s alarm. After a few seconds I closed the fridge to make that noise stop, while not taking my eyes off the figure that provoked that rustle. He didn’t change at all. He still had the same messy white hair and sparkling green eyes framed by long white lashes. He still wore the same traditional japanese clothes. He stared back at me without saying a word, his gaze serene but distant, like he was scared and waiting for my reaction. I was the one to broke the silence between us. 

“Mizuki?”

I knew it was him, but still decided to put his name as a question. I covered my mouth with my trembling hand while I sensed the song changing from the other room. Tears started to roll down my face without me noticing. He smiled and opened his arms. 

“Nanami-chan!”

When I heard my Japanese name pronounced by his familiar loving voice, I ran towards him, and he enclosed me between his arms, letting me pour my tears on his clothes. He started to alternate gentle strokes and kisses on my head. I had missed him more than words could express, and even if I still thought I wasn’t worthy of his kindness, I wouldn’t let him go from that embrace for the world.

************************************************************************************************************************************************

Author's note: ...so last time, when I asked who would be the new character, the answer was Mizuki. He always had a special place inside my heart while I watched and read Kamisama Kiss, so I really wanted to include him too. Also, today Eren's back! Soon other characters from AoT will make their appearance, bear with me for a few more chapters! By the way, I always cry when I listen to the song I've included in this chapter and I immediately imagined it while I was building the scenes. As always, here's the link! Thank you again for reading!

[blackcatrph]

** sour  sentence  starters.

brutal.

“  i think that i’ll die before i drink.  ”

“  i'm so caught up in the news of who likes me and who hates you.  ”

“  i'm so tired that I might quit my job, start a new life.  ”

“  they'd all be so disappointed  because who am I if not exploited?  ”

“  where's my fuckin' teenage dream?  ”

“  if someone tells me one more time "enjoy your youth," I'm gonna cry.  ”

“  i'm anxious and nothing can help.  ”

“  i wish I'd done this before.  ”

“  i wish people liked me more.  ”

“  all I did was try my best.  ”

“  this the kind of thanks I get?  ”

“  they say these are the golden years.  ”

“  i wish I could disappear.  ”

“  god, it's brutal out here.  ”

“  i feel like no one wants me.  ”

“  i only have two real friends.  ”

“  lately I'm a nervous wreck.  ”

“  i love people I don't like.  ”

“  i hate every song I write.  ”

“  i'm not cool, and I'm not smart.  ”

“  i can't even parallel park.  ”

“  got a broken ego, broken heart.  ”

“  i don't even know where to start.  ”

traitor.

“  brown guilty eyes and little white lies.  ”

“  i played dumb but I always knew.  ”

“  i kept quiet so I could keep you.  ”

“  ain't it funny how you ran to her the second that we called it quits?  ”

“  ain't it funny how you said you were friends?  ”

“  it sure as hell don't look like it.  ”

“  you betrayed me.  ”

“  i know that you'll never feel sorry for the way I hurt.  ”

“  loved you at your worst but that didn't matter.  ”

“  guess you didn't cheat, but you're still a traitor.  ”

“  there's no damn way that you could fall in love with somebody that quickly.  ”

“  ain't it funny, all the twisted games, all the questions you used to avoid?  ”

“  remember I brought her up and you told me I was paranoid?  ”

“  i wish that you had thought this through before I went and fell in love with you.  ”

“  you gave me your word but that didn't matter.  ”

drivers  license. 

“  i got my driver's license last week.  ”

“  just like we always talked about.  ”

“  today I drove through the suburbs crying 'cause you weren't around.  ”

“  you're probably with that blonde girl.  ”

“  she's so much older than me.  ” 

“  she's everything I'm insecure about.  ”

“  how could I ever love someone else?   “

“  i know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one.  ”

“  i just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone.  ”

“  guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me.  ”

“  all my friends are tired of hearing how much I miss you.  ”

“  I kinda feel sorry for them because they'll never know you the way that I do.  ”

“  i still see your face in the white cars, front yards.  ”

“  can't drive past the places we used to go to because I still fuckin' love you.  ”

1  step  forward,  3  steps  back.

“  i called you on the phone today.  ”

“  all I did was speak normally.  ”

“  you got me fucked up in the head.  ”

“  like am I pretty? am I fun?  ”

“  i hate that I gave you power over that kind of stuff.  ”

“  it's always one step forward and three steps back.  ”

“  i'm the love of your life until I make you mad.  ”

“  do you love me, want me, hate me? i don't understand.  ”

“  maybe in some masochistic way I kind of find it all exciting.  ”

“  which lover will I get today?  ”

“  will you walk me to the door or send me home cryin'?  ”

“  it's back and forth, did I say somethin' wrong?  ”

“  it's back and forth, goin' over everything I said.  ”

“  i'd leave you, but the roller coaster's all I've ever had.  ”

deja vu.

“  strawberry ice cream, one spoon for two?  ”

“  i bet she's braggin' to all her friends, sayin' you're so unique.  ”

“  so when you gonna tell her that we did that, too?  ”

“  that was our place, I found it first.  ”

“  i made the jokes you tell to her when she's with you.  ”

“  do you get déjà vu when she's with you?  ”

“  do you call her, almost say my name?  ”

“  i hate to think that I was just your type.  ”

“  don't act like we didn't do that shit too.  ”

“  play her piano, but she doesn't know that I was the one who taught you Billy Joel.  ”

good  4  u.

“  well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily.  ”

“  you found a new girl and it only took a couple weeks.  ”

“  remember when you said that you wanted to give me the world?  ”

“  good for you, I guess that you've been workin' on yourself.  ” 

“  i guess that therapist I found for you, she really helped.  ”

“  now you can be a better man for your brand new girl.  ”

“  well, good for you, you look happy and healthy.  ”

“  not me, if you ever cared to ask.  ”

“  good for you, you're doin' great out there without me.  ”

“  i've lost my mind.  ”

“  i've spent the night cryin' on the floor in my bathroom.  ”

“  it's like we never even happened.  ”

“  what the fuck is up with that?  ”

“  good for you, it's like you never even met me.  ”

“  remember when you swore to god i was the only person who ever got you?  ”

“  well, screw that and screw you.  ”

“  you will never have to hurt the way you know that I do.  ”

“  maybe I'm too emotional.  ”

“  your apathy's like a wound in salt.  ”

“  maybe I'm too emotional  or maybe you never cared at all.  ”

“  like a damn sociopath.  ”

enough  for  you.

“  i wore makeup when we dated because I thought you'd like me more.  ”

“  i know that you loved before.  ”

“  tried so hard to be everything that you like.  ”

“  i read all of your self-help books so you'd think that I was smart.  ”

“  stupid, emotional, obsessive little me.  ”

“  i knew from the start this is exactly how you'd leave.  ”

“  you found someonе more exciting.  ”

“  you left me there cryin', wonderin' what I did wrong.  ”

“  you always say I'm never satisfied but I don't think that's true.  ”

“  all I ever wanted was to be enough for you.  ”

“  maybe I'm just not as interesting as the girls you had before.  ”

“  you couldn't have cared less about someone who loved you more.  ”

“  i'd say you broke my heart but you broke much more than that.  ”

“  i don’t want your sympathy, i just want myself back.  ”

“  don’t you think i loved you too much to be used and discarded?  ”

“  don't you think I loved you too much to think I deserve nothing?  ”

“  don’t tell me you’re sorry, feel sorry for yourself.  ”

“  someday i’ll be everything to somebody else.  ”

“  you’ll be the one crying.  ”

happier.

“  we broke up a month ago. ”

“  your friends are mine you know.  ”

“  you’ve moved on, found someone new.  ”

“  i thought my heart was detached from all the sunlight of our past.  ”

“  she’s so sweet, she’s so pretty.  ”

“  does she mean you forgot about me ?  ”

“  i hope you’re happy but not like how you were with me.  ”

“  i’m selfish i know. i can’t let you go.  ”

“  find someone great, but don’t find no one better.  ”

“  i hope you’re happy, but don’t be happier.  ”

 “  do you tell her she’s the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen?  ”

“  an eternal love bullshit you know you’ll never mean.  ”

“  remember when i believe you meant it when you said it first to me?  ”

“  now i’m picking her apart like cutting her down will make you miss my wretched heart.  ”

“  she’s beautiful, she looks kind.  ”

“  she probably gives you butterflies.  ”

“  i wish you all the best, really.  ”

“  say you love her, just not like you loved me.  ”

“  think of me fondly when your hands are on her.  ”

jealousy  jealousy.

“  i kinda wanna throw my phone across the room.  ”

“  all i see are girls too good to be true.  ���

“  i know their beauty’s not my lack but it feels like that weight is on my back.  ”

“  comparison is killing me slowly.  ”

“  i think i think too much.  ”

“  i’m so sick of myself, i’d rather be anyone else.  ”

“  my jealousy started following me.  ”

“  i see everyone getting all the things i want.  ”

“  i’m happy for them, but then again, i’m not.  ”

“  i can’t stand it.  ” 

“  oh god i sound crazy.  ”

“  their win is not my loss, i know it’s true.  ”

“  i can’t help getting caught up in it all.  ”

“  all your friends are so cool.  ”

“  you go out every night.  ”

“  you’re living the life.  ”

“  i want to be you so bad, and i don’t even know you.  ”

“  all i see is what i should be.  ”

favourite  crime.

“  know that i love you so bad.  ”

“  i let you treat me like that.  ”

“  i was your willing accomplice.  ”

“  i watched as you fled the scene.  ”

“  doe-eyed as you buried me.  ”

“  the things i did just so i could call you mine.  ”

“  the things you did. well, i hope i was your favourite crime.  ”

“  you used me as an alibi.  ”

“  i crossed my heart and you crossed the line.  ”

“  i defended you to all my friends.  ”

“  every time i siren sounds, i wonder if you’re around.  ”

“  you know that i’d do it all again.  ”

“  it’s bittersweet to think about the damage that we’d do.  ”

“  i was going down but i was doing it with you.  ”

“  i say that i hate you with a smile on my face.  ”

“  look what we became.  ” 

hope  ur  ok.

“  his parents cared more about the bible than being good to their own child.  ”

“  wore long sleeves because of his dad.  ”

“  somehow we fell out of touch.  ”

“  hope he took his bad deal and made a royal flush.  ”

“  don’t know if i’ll see you again someday.  ”

“  i hope that you’re okay.  ”

“  her parents hated who she loved.  ”

“  she was brought into a world where family was merely blood.  ” 

“  with the courage to unlearn all of their hatred.  ”

“  we don’t talk much.  ”

“  i miss you and i hope that you’re okay.  ”

“  address the letter to the holes in my butterfly wings.  ”

“  nothing’s forever, nothing is as good as it seems.  ”

“  when the clouds are ironed our and the monsters creep into your house, every door is hard to close.  ”

“  i hope you know how proud i am.  ”

“  i hope that you’re happier today.  ”

“  i love you and i hope that you’re okay.  ”  

[ddudumemes]

SOUR SENTENCE STARTERS 

(( collection of ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY THREE sentence starters taken from OLIVIA  RODRIGO’s first album ‘ SOUR ’ . ))

001.  BRUTAL  . ‘  i  think  that  i'll  die  before  i  drink  .  ’ ‘  who  likes  me  ??  ’ ‘  who  hates  you  ??  ’ ‘  who  am  i  if  not  exploited  ??  ’ ‘  where's  my  fucking  teenage  dream  ??  ’ ‘  i  don't  stick  up  for  myself  .  ’ ‘  i'm  anxious  and  nothing  can  help  .  ’ ‘  and  i  wish  i'd  done  this  before  .  ’ ‘  and  i  wish  people  liked  me  more  .  ’ ‘  all  i  did  was  try  my  best  ,  this  the  kinda  thanks  i  get  ??  ’ ‘  i  wish  i  could  disappear  .  ’ ‘  ego  crush  is  so  severe  .  ’ ‘  god  ,  it's  brutal  out  here  .  ’ ‘  i  feel  like  no  one  wants  me  .  ’ ‘  and  i  hate  the  way�� i'm  perceived  .  ’ ‘  i  only  have  two  real  friends  .  ’ ‘  lately  ,  i'm  a  nervous  wreck  .  ’ ‘  i'm  not  cool  ,  and  i'm  not  smart  ,  and  i  can't  even  parallel  park  .  ’ ‘  got  a  broken  ego  ,  and  broken  heart  .  ’ ‘  god  ,  i  don't  even  know  where  to  start  .  ’

002.  TRAITOR  . ‘  i  played  dumb  ,  but  i  always  knew  .  ’ ‘  i  kept  quiet  so  i  could  keep  you  .  ’ ‘  ain't  it  funny  how  you  ran  to  her  the  second  that  we  called  it  quits  ??  ’ ‘  ain't  it  funny  how  you  said  you  were  friends  ??  now  it  sure  as  hell  don't  look  like  it  .  ’ ‘  you  betrayed  me  .  ’ ‘  i  know  that  you'll  never  feel  sorry  for  the  way  i  hurt  .  ’ ‘  you  talked  to  her  when  we  were  together  .  ’ ‘  loved  you  at  your  worst  ,  but  that  didn't  matter  .  ’ ‘  it  took  you  two  weeks  to  go  off  and  date  her  .  ’ ‘  guess  you  didn't  cheat  ,  but  you're  still  a  traitor  .  ’ ‘  there's  no  damn  way  that  you  could  fall  in  love  with  somebody  that  quickly  .  ’ ‘  remember  i  brought  her  up  and  you  told  me  i  was  paranoid  ??  ’ ‘  god  ,  i  wish  that  you  had  thought  this  through  before  i  went  and  fell  in  love  with  you  .  ’ ‘  you  gave  me  your  word  ,  but  that  didn't  matter  .  ’ 003.  DRIVERS  LICENSE  . ‘  i  got  my  driver's  license  last  week  .  ’ ‘  you  were  so excited for  me  .  ’ ‘  and  you're  probably  with  that  blonde  girl  who  always  made  me  doubt  .  ’ ‘  she's  everything  i'm  insecure  about  .  ’ ‘  how  could  i  ever  love  someone  else  ??  ’ ‘  i  know  we  weren't  perfect  but  i've  never  felt  this  way  for  no  one  .  ’ ‘  i  just  can't  imagine  how  you  could  be  so  okay  now  that  i'm  gone  .  ’ ‘  guess  you  didn't  mean  what  you  wrote  in  that  song  about  me  .  ’ ‘  you  said  forever  ,  now  i  drive  alone  past  your  street  .  ’ ‘   all  my  friends  are  tired  of  hearing  how  much  i  miss  you  .  ’ ‘  they'll  never  know  you  the  way  that  i  do  .  ’ ‘  today  ,  i  drove  through  the  suburbs  and  pictured  i  was  driving  home  to  you  .  ’ ‘  i  still  fuckin'  love  you  ,  babe  .  ’ ‘  i  still  hear  your  voice  in  the  traffic  .  ’ ‘  i  know  we're  through  but  i  still  fuckin'  love  you  .  ’

004.  1  STEP  FORWARD  ,  3  STEPS  BACK  . ‘  all  i  did  was  speak  normally  .  somehow  ,  i  still  struck  a  nerve  .  ’ ‘  you  got  me  fucked  up  in  the  head  ,  boy  .  ’ ‘  never  doubted  myself  so  much  .  ’ ‘  am  i  pretty  ??  am  i  fun  ??  ’ ‘  i  hate  that  i  give  you  power  over  that  kinda  stuff  .  ’ ‘  it's  always  one  step  forward  and  three  steps  back  .  ’ ‘  i'm  the  love  of  your  life  until  i  make  you  mad  .  ’ ‘  do  you  love  me  ,  want  me  ,  hate  me  ??  ’ ‘  i  don't  understand  .  ’ ‘  maybe  in  some  masochistic  way  i  kind  of  find  it  all  exciting  .  ’ ‘  which  lover  will  i  get  today  ??  ’ ‘  will  you  walk  me  to  the  door  or  send  me  home  crying  ??  ’ ‘  did  i  say  something  wrong  ??  ’ ‘  it's  back  and  forth  ,  going  over  everything  i  said  .  ’ ‘  did  i  do  something  wrong  ??  ’ ‘  maybe  this  is  all  your  fault  instead  .  ’ ‘  i'd  leave  you  ,  but  the  rollercoaster's  all  i've  ever  had  .  ’

005.  DEJA  VU  . ‘  so  when  you  gonna  tell  her  that  we  did  that  too  ??  ’ ‘  that  was  our  place  ,  i  found  it  first  .  ’ ‘  i  made  the  jokes  you  tell  to  her  when  she's  with  you  .  ’ ‘  do  you  get  déjà  vu  when  she’s  with  you  ??  ’ ‘  do  you  get  déjà  vu  ??  ’ ‘  do  you  call  her  ,  almost  say  my  name  ??  ’ ‘  let's  be  honest  ,  we  kinda  do  sound  the  same  .  ’ ‘  i  hate  to  think  that  i  was  just  your  type  .  ’ ‘  now  i  bet  you  even  tell  her  how  you  love  her  .  ’ ‘  don't  act  like  we  didn't  do  that  shit  too  .  ’ ‘  you're  tradin'  jackets  like  we  used  to  do  .  ’ ‘  a  different  girl  now  ,  but  there's  nothing  new  .  ’ ‘  i  know  you  get  déjà  vu  .  ’

006.  GOOD  4  U  . ‘  good  for  you  ,  i  guess  you  moved  on  really  easily  .  ’ ‘  you  found  a  new  girl  and  it  only  took  a  couple  weeks  .  ’ ‘  remember  when  you  said  that  you  wanted  to  give  me  the  world  ??  ’ ‘  good  for  you  ,  i  guess  that  you've  been  workin'  on  yourself  .  ’ ‘  i  guess  that  therapist  i  found  for  you  ,  she  really  helped  .  ’ ‘  now  you  can  be  a  better  man  for  your  brand  new  girl  .  ’ ‘  well  ,  good  for  you  you  look  happy  and  healthy  ,  not  me  ,  if  you  ever  cared  to  ask  .  ’ ‘  good  for  you  you're  doin'  great  out  there  without  me  ,  baby  ,  god  ,  i  wish  that  i  could  do  that  .  ’ ‘  i've  lost  my  mind  ,  i've  spent  the  night  cryin'  on  the  floor  of  my  bathroom  .  ’ ‘  you're  so  unaffected  ,  i  really  don't  get  it  but  i  guess  good  for  you  .  ’ ‘  well  ,  good  for  you  ,  i  guess  you're  gettin'  everything  you  want  .  ’ ‘  it's  like  we  never  even  happened  baby  ,  what  the  fuck  is  up  with  that  ??  ’ ‘  good  for  you  ,  it's  like  you  never  even  met  me  .  ’ ‘  remember  when  you  swore  to  god  i  was  the  only  person  who  ever  got  you  ??  well  ,  screw  that  ,  and  screw  you  .  ’ ‘  you  will  never  have  to  hurt  the  way  you  know  that  i  do  !!  ’ ‘  maybe  i'm  too  emotional  but  your  apathy's  like  a  wound  in  salt  .  ’ ‘  maybe  i'm  too  emotional  or  maybe  you  never  cared  at  all  .  ’ ‘  maybe  i'm  too  emotional  .  ’ ‘  your  apathy  is  like  a  wound  in  salt  .  ’ ‘  maybe  you  never  cared  at  all  .  ’ ‘  good  for  you  you're  doin'  great  out  there  without  me  ,  baby  ,  like  a  damn  sociopath  .  ’

007.  ENOUGH  FOR  YOU  . ‘  i  wore  makeup  when  we  dated  'cause  i  thought  you'd  like  me  more  .  ’ ‘  tried  so  hard  to  be  everything  that  you  liked  .  ’ ‘  i  knew  how  you  took  your  coffee and  your  favorite  songs  by  heart  .  ’ ‘  i  read  all  of  your  self-help  books  so  you'd  think  that  i  was  smart  .  ’ ‘  i  knew  from  the  start  this  is  exactly  how  you'd  leave  .  ’ ‘  you  found  someonе  more  exciting  the  nеxt  second  ,  you  were  gone  .  ’ ‘  you  left  me  there  cryin'  ,  wonderin'  what  i  did  wrong  .  ’ ‘  and  you  always  say  i'm  never  satisfied  but  i  don't  think  that's  true  .  ’ ‘  all  i  ever  wanted  was  to  be  enough  for  you  .  ’ ‘  and  maybe  i'm  just  not  as  interesting  as  the  girls  you  had  before  .  ’ ‘  but  god  ,  you  couldn't  have  cared  less  about  someone  who  loved  you  more  .  ’ ‘  i'd  say  you  broke  my  heart  but  you  broke  much  more  than  that  .  ’ ‘  i  don't  want  your  sympathy  ,  i  just  want  myself  back  .  ’ ‘  i  just  want  myself  back  .  ’ ‘  don't  you  think  i  loved  you  too  much  to  be  used  and  discarded  ??  ’ ‘  don't  you  think  i  loved  you  too  much  to  think  i  deserve  nothing  ??  ’ ‘  but  don't  tell  me  you're  sorry  .  ’ ‘  feel  sorry  for  yourself  .  ’ ‘  someday  ,  i'll  be  everything  to  somebody  else  .  ’ ‘  you  say  i'm  never  satisfied  but  that's  not  me  ,  it's  you  .  ’ ‘  all  i  ever  wanted  was  to  be  enough  .  ’ ‘  i  don't  think  anything  could  ever  be  enough  for  you  .  ’ ‘  nothing's  enough  for  you  .  ’

008.  HAPPIER  . ‘  you've  moved  on  ,  found  someone  new  .  ’ ‘  i  thought  my  heart  was  detached  from  all  the  sunlight  of  our  past  .  ’ ‘  does  she  mean  you  forgot  about  me  ??  ’ ‘  i  hope  you're  happy  but  not  like  how  you  were  with  me  .  ’ ‘  i'm  selfish  ,  i  know  ,  i  can't  let  you  go  .  ’ ‘  find  someone  great  ,  but  don't  find  no  one  better  .  ’ ‘  i  hope  you're  happy  ,  but  don't  be  happier  .  ’ ‘  do  you  tell  her  she's  the  most  beautiful  girl  you've  ever  seen  ??  ’ ‘  remember  when  i  believed  you  meant  it  when  you  said  it  first  to  me  ??  ’ ‘  and  now  i'm  pickin'  her  apart  like  cuttin'  her  down  will  make  you  miss  my  wretched  heart  .  ’ ‘  she's  beautiful  ,  she  looks  kind  ...  she  probably  gives  you  butterflies  .  ’ ‘  i  wish  you  all  the  best  ,  really  .  ’ ‘  say  you  love  her  ,  just  not  like  you  loved  me  .  ’ ‘  think  of  me  fondly  when  your  hands  are  on  her  .  ’

009.  JEALOUSY  ,  JEALOUSY  . ‘  i  kinda  wanna  throw  my  phone  across  the  room  .  ’ ‘  i  know  their  beauty's  not  my  lack  .  ’ ‘  i  can't  let  it  go  .  ’ ‘  comparison  is  killin'  me  slowly  .  ’ ‘  i  think  i  think  too  much  'bout  kids  who  don't  know  me  .  ’ ‘  i'm  so  sick  of  myself  .  ’ ‘  i'd  rather  be  anyone  else  .  ’ ‘  my  jealousy  started  followin'  me  .  ’ ‘  i'm  happy  for  them  ,  but  then  again  ,  i'm  not  .  ’ ‘  oh  god  ,  i  sound  crazy  .  ’ ‘  their  win  is  not  my  loss  .  ’ ‘  i  can't  help  gettin'  caught  up  in  it  all  .  ’ ‘  all  your  friends  are  so  cool  ,  you  go  out  every  night  .  ’ ‘  you're  livin'  the  life  .  ’ ‘  i  wanna  be  you  so  bad  and  i  don't  even  know  you  .  ’ ‘  all  i  see  is  what  i  should  be:  happier  .  prettier  .  ’ ‘  all  i  see  is  what  i  should  be  .  ’ ‘  i'm  losin'  it  ,  all  i  get's  jealousy  .  ’

010.  FAVORITE  CRIME  . ‘  know  that  i  loved  you  so  bad  i  let  you  treat  me  like  that  .  ’ ‘  i  was  your  willing  accomplice  .  ’ ‘  i  watched  as  you  fled  the  scene  .  ’ ‘  one  heart  broke  ,  four  hands  bloody  .  ’ ‘  the  things  i  did  just  so  i  could  call  you  mine  .  ’ ‘  the  things  you  did  …  well  ,  i  hope  i  was  your  favorite  crime  .  ’ ‘  you  used  me  as  an  alibi  .  ’ ‘  i  defended  you  to  all  my  friends  .  ’ ‘  now  every  time  a  siren  sounds  i  wondеr  if  you're  around  .  ’ ‘  'cause  you  know  that  i'd  do  it  all  again  .  ’ ‘  i  hope  i  was  your  favorite  crime  .  ’ ‘  it's  bittersweet  to  think  about  the  damage  that  we'd  do  .  ’ ‘  i  was  goin'  down  ,  but  i  was  doin'  it  with  you  .  ’ ‘  i  say  that  i  hate  you  with  a  smile  on  my  face  .  ’ ‘  look  what  we  became  .  ’ ‘  i  hope  i  was  your  favorite  crime  ,  'cause  baby  ,  you  were  mine  .  ’

011.  HOPE  UR  OK  . ‘  his  parents  cared  more  about  the  bible  than  being  good  to  their  own  child  .  ’ ‘  he  wore  long  sleeves  'cause  of  his  dad  .  ’ ‘  somehow  ,  we  fell  out  of  touch  .  ’ ‘  don't  know  if  i'll  see  you  again  someday  but  if  you're  out  there  ,  i  hope  that  you're  okay  .  ’ ‘  she  raised  her  brothers  on  hеr  own  .  ’ ‘  she  couldn't  wait  to  go  to  college  .  ’ ‘  she  was  brought  into  a  world  where  family  was  merely  blood  .  ’ ‘  we  don't  talk  much  ,  but  i  just  gotta  say  i  miss  you  and  i  hope  that  you're  okay  .  ’ ‘  nothing's  forever  ,  nothing  is  as  good  as  it  seems  .  ’ ‘  well  ,  i  hope  you  know  how  proud  i  am  you  were  created  .  ’ ‘  but  ,  god  ,  i  hope  that  you're  happier  today  .  ’ ‘  'cause  i  love  you  and  i  hope  that  you're  okay  .  ’

[omgsquee2001]

Chapter 3: Positive News

With spirits high, Jethro made his way to work at the crack of dawn. His date with [Y/N], the woman he had called on the radio show, The Man or The Money, had gone so well. He found that they had a lot more in common than they had thought. She had even said yes to a second date, which he was happy to tell his friends about. Maxi and Jesse, the two people who had originally nominated Jethro for the radio show were the first ones there, setting up the tower for the long day of keeping swimmers at Bondi safe. Maxi was the first to spot Jethro.

“Hey, hey! There he is! The man of the hour!” Maxi shouted. A smile crossed Jesse’s face when he saw Jethro. Jesse ran over and pulled Jethro into a hug.

“So, mate, tell us, are you goin’ on another date or not?” He asked. Jethro shrugged.

“I’m gonna wait to tell ya until the others get here. I want everyone to bask in the glory that was my success.” Jethro said, smiling. Maxi and Jesse booed Jethro for keeping it a secret until everyone got there, and they also understood that he probably didn’t want to repeat himself every time a life guard would come in. Soon enough, everyone who was on duty that day had come in and were waiting for the news on Jethro’s date.

“So, Jeff,” Kerrbox said, crossing his arms and looking at his friend. “Did you woo the lady last night?” He asked. Jethro chuckled.

“Well, for starters, what I had in my mind of what she looked like didn’t even compare to what I saw. She was, absolutely gorgeous. [H/L] [H/C] hair, stunning [E/C] eyes, and a wonderful personality and smile. It turns out that we have a lot more in common than we thought. She likes the ocean, going surfing, swimming, and she loves dogs.” Jethro said, his smile getting wider and wider. Jesse tilted his head.

“She volunteers at the local animal shelter, right? Walking the dogs?” He asked. Jethro nodded.

“And that’s another plus. We had an amazing time on our date last night. And, for the moment you have all been waitin’ for,” Jethro paused for dramatic affect. “She said yes to another date.” Jethro said, laughing and smiling. The boys around him broke out into smiles and shouts. Maxi jumped up and shook Jethro a little bit in excitement. Kerrbox chuckled.

“So now that she’s said yes to another date, do you know what you’re goin’ to do for the date?” He asked. Jethro nodded.

“Yeah. I’m going to text her the details tonight. I really hope she enjoys it.” He said. Tonight was going to be a picnic on the sand, watching the sun set. He was really hoping that they could work out. He really, really liked her.

~~~~

Taglist

@couldbegayer21

@brokensoul-headphonesin

~~~~

//I am so, so sorry this took forever to get out. My inspiration has been running on empty for a long while and I have recently gotten it up to, mm, about, maybe 20%? I hope it will go up. Anyway, I hope you guys like this one.//

[starter-library]

ORVILLE PECK'S SHOW PONY LYRIC STARTERS

FEEL FREE TO CHANGE PRONOUNS/NAMES/PHRASING AS YOU SEE FIT

Summertime

“Nothin' holds me down”

“Askin' where the time's gone, Dreamin' with the lights on”

“Tryna keep your eyes on something along the rise”

“You and I bide our time and I miss summertime”

“They punish those who love young”

“Something inside me dies”

“Keep on rockin', baby Keep on risin' on the tide”

“We'll be ridin' all night”

No Glory In The West

“Lived through London and drank through Memphis”

“The things you live by were once just a guess”

“There ain't no glory in the west”

“Hard to think on your feet”

“Tired of beggin' 'em just to compete”

“Shoot to win can feel so bittersweet, But you take what you can get”

“Nowhere left to go, Goin's all we know”

“What's a boy to do? Hit the road with a dollar or two?”

“There's still no rest”

“"Count your blessings," they'll say”

“After each midnight begins a new day”

“Don't place your bets on a word that they say, They'll put your life to rest”

Drive Me, Crazy

“No one on the highways tonight just you and me and the rigs we ride”

“The road doesn't matter, it's how you haul”

“You put up the cards just to watch 'em fall”

“You always said you'd drive me crazy”

“Said it was you and me 'til we died, so hands on the wheel and let's drive”

“Just look straight ahead if you like it slow”

“Take guesses on exits, one has to be right”

“Nothin' lasts forever, that's how it goes”

“Never thought I'd learn to love the snow”

“No time for the past if you're speedin' by me”

“Saw you pass me earlier in the double”

“Just thought maybe you saw me as well”

Kids

“Dare me on a dime to say that we had everything we need”

“You told me to shut my mouth and to my surprise neither one of us has died”

“Washed up, nowhere to go”

“Hate to say I told you so but I'm, I'm just a nervous guy”

“Target on our backs each day, tails turn, or so they say”

“Gettin' low on luck, it's time to fight”

“You call me up and tell me all your frights ‘cause neither one of us has died”

“I keep thinkin' we'll disappear, but years go by still, neither one of us has died”

Legends Never Die

“Been gone back from my old ways”

“Each song keeps me rolling along my way”

“A stampede couldn't break me in my stride and you wanna know why?”

“It gets lonesome on the lonesome trail so keep your head up high”

“Takin' orders never been my style”

“I've been rode hard and put up wet”

“Ain't nothing in this world that I can't get”

“Don't worry 'bout making sure they won't forget. No, it's fine 'cause legends never die”

“Won't stop 'cause I never lost a fight… Well, once or twice, haha”

“Another blow ain't gonna stop me, wait and see”

“You got nothing if you ain't got pride”

“We got one chance and legends never die”

“Baby, baby, you get one chance”

“Sometimes, you gotta break away from the pack”

Fancy

“I remember it all very well looking back”

“We didn't have money for food or rent to say the least, we was hard-pressed”

“Here's your one chance, [name], don't let me down”

“I could see the tears wellin' up in her troubled eyes as she started to speak”

“Your Pa's run off and I'm real sick And the baby's gonna starve to death”

“To thine own self, be true”

“Just be nice to the gentlemen, [name]. They'll be nice to you”

“But if you want out, well, it's up to you and don't let me down now”

“The wheels of fate had started to turn and for me, there was no way out”

“I knew what I had to do but I made myself this solemn vow”

“I couldn't see spending the rest of my life with my head held down in shame”

“It wasn't long after, a benevolent man took me in off the street”

“I charmed a king, a congressman and the occasional aristocrat”

“Now in this life, there's a lot of self-righteous hypocrites that call me bad”

[poisonedspider]

MEME CALL. I'm going to be doing a hundred things tonight (I have so much to respond to) and instead of posting them all excitedly like I normally do, they'll be going in my queue because I will never be able to catch up otherwise.

That being said, I am a slut for a good thread, so LIKE THIS POST if you would like me to come in and send memes to you. I'll probably send 3-4 so you can choose which one calls to you most (or, you know, you can reply to them all). I will fully intend to turn all of these responses into full threads, so only 'like' this if you can give me a decent amount of content in a meme response so I can work with it.

I don't care if we have one thread, no threads, a hundred threads. Do it you cowards.

[dadsbongos]

good heart

Movie/Game/Show: The Devil All the Time Dynamic: Arvin Russell/Reader Warnings: use of the daddy word but it’s purely platonic, sacrilege, post-canon, proofread but i am illiterate, fem pronouns Summary: Arvin knows he wants more, but he won’t let himself run for it. ~~~

Arvin slides onto the nearest stool he can find at the counter without looking around too much, peeling off his hat and holding it tight to the shiny surface with both fists. He keeps his head low and waits for a waitress to approach him.

“You want anything or you just getting out of the sun?” a voice teases from behind the counter.

His head lifts and he offers a fracture of a polite smile and nod, “Just a black coffee, ma’am. Please.”

“‘Ma’am’” you repeat as you write down the order, “You’re awful formal, don’t you think?”

“Sorry, ma’am.”

“Oh, no, you don’t gotta apologize for anything,” you awkwardly offer a smile, “I just tease sometimes, sorry ‘bout that.”

“Now, how many times have I told you to stop that,” an older man chides from the kitchen, “Bring that poor boy’s order over and stop messin’ with people.”

“Sorry, daddy,” you mutter, turning to hand over the ticket with Arvin’s measly order.

The man takes the paper and squints to read it, shaking his head before turning to the brunette boy at the counter, “Sorry ‘bout her. Gets bored around here.”

Arvin finally glances around the whole room and sees that the diner is empty of customers except for him.

He shakes his head and gives a slight grin, “Don’t worry none, sir. Just a rough few days, is all - nothin’ wrong with your daughter havin’ fun.”

He’s waved off by the older man and you soon return to Arvin’s front with a bounce in your step at his words, “Thanks for backin’ me up, stranger.”

“Just the truth,” Arvin murmurs, looking around the barren diner once again, “Slow day, huh?”

He internally cringes at the awkward starter but resolves to let it slide when you light up at the branch.

“Yeah, it’s Sunday service hours, ya know. Don’t get too many people willing to skip a meetin’ with the Lord for scrambled eggs and coffee.”

Lenora and Emma would be at service by now. Lenora would be praying with her neighbors and family by now. She loved services.

A bell dings before Arvin can claw out a subpar response and you’re making a trip to the little window between the kitchen and sitting area before carrying back a breakfast of toast, eggs, and coffee.

“Oh, I can’t- “

“On the house,” you wink, pushing the plate towards Arvin, “Don’t gotta eat it if you don’t want, but Daddy likes makin’ the effort to feed people,” leaning over and whispering so your father can’t hear, you let him in on a secret, “He looks mean but he’s got a real soft spot for people like you.”

He quirks a brow, picking up a fork to poke at his eggs, “Strays?”

You roll your eyes at the suggestion, “People who look like they need a good meal. He’s old but he reads people real well. I can take it back, if you don’t want it.”

“No!” he recoils and his face sours at the volume of his own voice, “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” you shrug, “Gotten a lot worse from customers for a lot less.”

Arvin finishes off a bite of toast before asking, “People yell at you often?”

Again, you merely shrug, “Polite young men like you ain’t exactly common around here.”

“Who could do that? You seem mighty fine,” Arvin shakes his head, “I don’t know you real well, ma’am, but somethin’ ‘bout that don’t rub me the right way.”

“Not much I can do ‘bout it. Daddy kicks ‘em out fast as he can but it ain’t like he’s always listenin’ out for people who don’t like his daughter.”

“What if I could get ‘em out?”

“What? You plan on sittin’ in a slow diner just waitin’ for people to get rough with little ol’ me?”

“Sad as it may sound, ma’am, I don’t got a lot goin’ on. ‘Sides,” Arvin shovels up more eggs on his fork, “your daddy ain’t a bad cook.”

You weren’t actually expecting Arvin to come back the next day. Or the one after that. Or the one after that. Or even the week later. But he did, just like he said he would - he came back and made sure nobody gave you a hard time. He wasn’t the tallest or the most muscular, but nobody could deny the intimidation Arvin could give out. He seemed like he’d seen more than most men his age. Seemed like he’d done a lot more than a lot of men his age. After a day you asked his name, he panicked and said Eugene just in case either of you knew of the sins living in Arvin Russell.

After a mere week of him coming around, your father offered him a job at the diner. He’d take the floor while you had the counter, and if the floor wasn’t busy he’d be on call for anything else needed. After a month, you asked where he was staying and found out he had nowhere to really go and he felt guilt claw at his chest that night when he wound up sleeping in your father’s bed with your father on the couch.

But he seemed sweet on you, calling you darlin’ in that backwoods drawl of his - offering to carry dishes when he saw you struggling. Offering to take over your position if you seemed overwhelmed. Helped your father around the diner and in the house, kept you company, kept out people who threw fits in the diner. Never made a fuss, never made himself difficult.

He didn’t give out his real name until a few months into his staying. His legs bouncing under the counter with nerves and hands gripping the surface for any sort of purchase. By now he figured you and your father would have some sort of attachment to him, maybe he wouldn’t have to explain his past - maybe both of you already knew. Maybe you’d turn him in. Maybe you’d understand. Maybe he could stay.

Please, Lord, let him stay.

It was after closing hours, leaving just the three of you as he spilled all the weight looming over his guilt-wracked mind. Telling you both - he wasn’t born as Eugene. He was born as Arvin.

“Russell, ain’t that right?”

He wants to dig himself a hole and die in it with how your father looks at him. Judging and waiting. Spying and predatory. It reminds him of those woods. It reminds him of the sheriff.

“How many people have you told?” he’s surprised by how you reach across the table so quickly to grab his hands and hold them in your own.

“Just you two…”

“You shot that reverend. Suspected on a sheriff. We heard about you,” your father’s voice is cold and he wishes he could go back by mere seconds and never tell either of you who he was.

He didn’t want to go to prison. He wasn’t a bad person, he had good reason. He knows he had good reason but the bodies piled up and he felt his chances at getting out of this diner in anything but handcuffs slip away. He knows any chance he had at companionship with anyone other than his own head were burnt to ash.

“Why’d you do it?”

His attention is brought back to you at your shockingly soft tone when asking the question, he purses his lips, “It’s gonna sound like a lie, but I swear that none of those people were any good.”

“Arvin,” you lean towards him slightly to make eye contact, “I wanna believe that, I do. But you’ve gotta explain yourself more than that.”

He lets himself find comfort in your sincere expression for a few seconds longer before looking to your father and then back to you, “That preacher - he, he - he hurt my sister. Real bad. She… she killed herself cuz a’ him. And the sheriff chased me ‘round after I…” he shook his head, clenching his eyes shut at how ridiculous he sounded, “They weren’t no good, I promise you. I swear it.”

“Arvin, why’d you kill the sheriff?” you pat his cheek gently, “Why was he chasin’ you? Was it over the preacher?”

“No, I- I shot his sister. And her husband,” he opens his eyes in time to see that your father has come closer and he wishes he never opened his mouth, “They were tryin’ to kill me. I swear it. They took me into their car, said they’d give me a ride but they- they stopped and I saw him pull out a gun and I knew they were up to no good and I had to protect myself. I didn’t wanna do it, I didn’t want- I didn’t want any a’ this,” he looks away from your father and back to you, tears now springing in his eyes, “I didn’t wanna hurt anybody… I didn’t wanna kill them… I’m not a bad person, I swear.”

You wipe away his tears, “Arvin, I wanna believe you, I do. But I also know you know this is a lot to take in, right?” you look back at your father as if silently asking where to go next.

He pulls you away from Arvin and stares down at the young man as if he could physically read whether he was lying or not. Arvin wishes he was looking at you again, he felt more comfortable when he was looking at you. He felt more comfortable with his hands in yours. He wants his hands in yours.

“If I was you,” he begins, “If my sister was hurt however bad yours was, I know that I’d kill that man. If anyone did what that man did to make your sister take her own life to my sister or, God forbid, my daughter, I know that I’d kill that man. I know that if someone tried taking me outta this world, I’d kill them too,” he nodded to himself, weathered and wrinkled hands splaying out on the table, “I’ve never killed anybody with these hands, Arvin. But if I think you’re lying for a second, they just might have to.”

“Daddy,” you pitch in over your father’s shoulder nervously, “what’re you sayin’?”

“I believe you, Arvin. I believe you’re a good kid, I believe you wouldn’t hurt someone without a damn good reason. You’re good to us and you do good work here. I believe you’re tellin’ the truth,” he looks into the young man’s eyes, “If you ain’t, and you’re lying to me, then I hope the Lord makes you see our faces every time you close those eyes.”

“I ain’t lyin’, sir, I promise,” Arvin shakes his head, growing desperate as tears pool at his waterline, he just wants one of you to say it - just say he’s okay. Say he can stay. He can stay here with you. Say he’s okay.

He just wants to be okay.

Your father leaves wordlessly, retreating to the kitchen, lights flickering as he began the routine clean-up for the night and preparation for an early tomorrow. Arvin turns to you in the growing silence, you’re a blotchy outline with the tears gathering in his eyes.

“D’you believe me?”

You come around the counter and reach out, taking Arvin’s head and pressing it to your chest, just over your heart. Gently removing his hat and placing it on the counter, your fingers begin carding through Arvin’s messy hair, “I believe you, Arvin. The man you’ve been to me is not somebody who’d go around hurtin’ people, I believe you.”

He swallows at the lump in his throat, eyes falling closed and hands grounding themselves in your work uniform, “Thank you, darlin’. Thank you, thank you, thank you...”

“You’re safe here, Arvin. We won’t tell nobody, I promise.”

Your voice is more comforting to him than the thought of any eternal bliss waiting outside this life. He wants to protect it - protect you. He wants to stay.

“Can I stay…” he turns his head to press his face into the cloth of your uniform as if that’d prevent any upcoming rejection, “Can I stay, darlin’?”

“You can stay, Arvin,” you murmur, continuing to run your fingers through his hair, “I want you to stay.”

Arvin kept himself wound around you for as long as you’d let him hold on, and you were content enough to keep him in your arms until your father was finished with his routine in the kitchen.

“Ready to head home now?”

“I’m goin’ too?” Arvin pulled away from you just enough to not muffle his reply, eyebrows furrowed, “I’m still stayin’ with you both?”

“Arvin,” you cupped his cheeks to direct his eyes with yours, a small smile just peeking at your lips, “We believe you’re good. Of course, you’re comin’ home with us. We love you, Arvin.”

Your father nodded quietly, patting the boy’s shoulder before walking past you both, “I’ll start up the car, so hurry up. We got an early mornin’ tomorrow.”

It was in the dead of night later on that Arvin found himself still unable to relax. His eyes wide open and fingers nervously tapping at his stomach through the comforter on what used to be your father’s bed. What if you both were tricking him at the diner and there’ll be a police officer out in the front lawn by morning? What if you were at the station turning him in right now and he’s actually all alone in this house?

That thought has him springing up from the bed and down the small hall to where your bedroom door is shut. He feels guilty doubting the sincerity you’d shown but his brain won’t rest and his heart refuses to calm down. He knows he could never blame you for giving him up but he needs you in his life now that he has you.

He curls around the doorknob and pushes open until he’s fully inside. He can just make out your figure in bed within the darkness, his eyes hurrying to adjust to the night.

Creeping to the side of your bed, Arvin hesitates but ultimately shakes you awake anyway, “Darlin’?”

You hum and groan and rub your eyes until you’re fully awake with Arvin at your side, “What’re you doin’ up? Didn’t you hear daddy? We gotta be up early tomorrow.”

“I can’t sleep, I- I keep worryin’.”

At the admission, you’re sitting up and bringing a hand over Arvin’s, “‘Bout what?”

“D’you really trust me, or was that just an act back at the diner?”

“I believe you,” you make room on the bed and drag Arvin into it, coddling him to your body, “I know you’re good. I’ve known you for a long while now. It’ll take a bit to get used to, but I know you’re a good man. I love that you’re a good man.”

You’ve gotten so close to saying what he wants to hear, he could almost pretend it’s what you’d said. He could almost pretend he heard you say you love him - he likes to pretend that’s what he heard. But he knows he doesn’t deserve that love - he just needs to protect what he has now rather than strive for more.

“Thank you for believin’ me, darlin’.”

“I’ll believe you ‘til the end, Arvin. I know you’re good.”

He feels comforted, once again, by those words - by your words. He feels comforted by your hold and he hopes that this is a safe place to lie until his bones give out - if you’ll let him. He knows what he wants is to have and hold and cherish this home you’ve given him both in the form of a roof over his head and the spot between your arms but he has to remind himself that what he needs is to just protect you. At least until you decide his sinful heart is worthy of loving with yours.

[perspectivestarters]

Perspective's Sentence Starters; Fearless (Taylor's Version) (Part IV)

COME IN WITH THE RAIN

"I don't wanna go there anymore."

"Talk to the wind, talk to the sky."

"Talk to the man with the reasons why."

"Let me know what you find."

"I'll leave my window open."

"I'm too tired at night to call your name."

"Just know I'm right here hoping that you'll come in with the rain."

"I don't wanna have to go that far."

"I've got you down."

"I know you by heart."

"You don't even know where I start."

"Talk to yourself, talk to the tears."

"Talk to the man who put you here."

"Don't wait for the sky to clear."

"I've watched you so long, screamed your name."

"I don't know what else I can say."

SUPERSTAR

"This is wrong, but I can't help but feel like there ain’t nothing more right."

"I can't help but wish I could see your face."

"I'd be breaking all my rules to see you."

"You smile that beautiful smile and all the girls in the front row scream your name."

"I can't keep my eyes off of you."

"I'm no one special.

"Just another wide-eyed girl who's desperately in love with you."

"Give me a photograph to hang on my wall."

"Whеn my world wakes up today, you'll be in another town."

"I'd be counting down the ways to see you."

"I'm invisible and everyone knows who you are."

"You sing me to sleep every night from the radio."

"Sweet, sweet superstar."

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR

"In the heat of the fight I walked away."

"This time I've had enough."

"I'm not picking up."

"I'm so mad I might tell you that it's over."

"All I really want is you."

"I'm in love with you."

"Wait there in the pourin' rain, comin' back for more."

"I know all I need is on the other side of the door."

"Me and my stupid pride are sittin' here alone."

"I keep goin' back over things we both said."

"I remember the slamming door and all the things that I misread."

"Oh, babe, if you know everything, tell me why you couldn't see?"

"When I left, I wanted you to chase after me."

"I can't even look at you."

"I don't need you but I do."

"There's nothing you can say to make this right again."

"The conversation with the little white lies."

"You carried me from your car up the stairs."

"Was she worth this mess?"

"After everything and that little black dress."

"After everything I must confess, I need you."

TODAY WAS A FAIRYTALE

"Today was a fairytale."

"I used to be a damsel in distress."

"You told me I was pretty when I looked like a mess."

"Time slows down whenever you're around."

"Can you feel this magic in the air?"

"It must have been the way you kissed me."

"Fell in love when I saw you standing there."

"You've got a smile that takes me to another planet."

"Every move you make, everything you say is right."

"All that I can say is now it's getting so much clearer."

"Nothing made sense 'til the time I saw your face."

"Did you feel it?"

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers VANDEAD CARNIVAL ;; Sleeping Vampire ー Sakamaki Ayato

Source: Diabolik Lovers Vandead Carnival

Seiyuu: Midorikawa Hikaru

Audio: Here

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Ayato takes a seat on your bed.

*Thud*

"Che...Oi, wake up, Chichinashi. I don’t mind assaultin’ you in your sleep like usual. But I’m not really hungry, you know. I actually came all the way to your room to have you keep me company, so whatcha sleepin’ for, huh? Geez. Wake up already! (1) It’d be hella dull if you’re just snoozin’ away, right? Come on, look this way!

*Rustle*

“What? You really think you can pretend to be asleep and trick me with that crappy act of yours? Hehe...Well, I don’t mind playin’ along though? You’re basically givin’ me a free pass to do anythin’ I want, right? Hmー... Touchin’ you somewhere you wouldn’t want me to sounds fun...but to your current self, anythin’ I do is basically a reward. You’ve gotten totally used to it...You’re the scary one of us two. You feign ignorance, but you can’t fight back ‘gainst my fangs. If anything...They make you totally happy. ...For real, that’s what makes you fascinatin’, hehe.

Speaking of which, I feel like I haven’t seen you twist your face in fear very much as of late. Even the face you make when in pain...always changes right away? You end up looking at me with a longing expression...Well, that’s not bad either though? Hehe. I won’t let you deny it, you know? ‘Bout the expressions you make to entice men. ...It’s a conscious decision you make, isn’t you?”

You remain quiet.

“Che...You’re really persistin’ ‘bout pretendin’ to be asleep, huh? Fine by me? In that case, I’ll do as I please too. Your expression yearnin’ for pleasure isn’t the only face I wanna see you make after all. Seeing you shake all over like a fool from fear, or even hearing you cry out like an idiot from the pain and sufferin’ would work too. Also...Those eyes full of despair, not even capable of sheddin’ tears are quite the treat as well. ...Aah, makes me wanna see them again for the first time in a while. Say...You don’t mind, do you?

You still give no reaction.

“...Che. Oi, Chichinashi! This is the part where you jump up and make a fool out of yourself by gettin’ mad, no!? The fuck’s up with that reaction? It’s annoyin’! At this rate, I’m actually gonna do it, you know? My fangs only ever make you happy...so I’ll do somethin’ different. ...Hehe. Seems like you think that you’ve been through hell and back already. But that was only the very beginning. I’m more than capable of givin’ you a taste of pain you’ve never experienced before, don’t forget that? I’ll test whether you can...endure it or not.”

You flinch.

“Haha...You’ve got your brows furrowed, you know? (2) Even if you tense up your body, it’ll still hurt...and you’d still suffer...right? Better not regret it? Nn...”

*Smooch*

*Rustle rustle*

You open your eyes.

“Pfft...That face! What are you looking so surprised ‘bout? Haha...Nn...”

*Smooch*

*Rustle rustle*

“You’ve finally woken up, huh?”

*Thud*

“Oi! Don’t be pushin’ me away from the moment you open your eyes! Hehe...Aren’t your cheeks a lil’ flushed?”

You ask him what this is about

“You wanna know what I’m doin’? ...Kissin’ you, duh. I don’t know what you were thinkin’ I’d do...but you like this sorta stuff, don’t you? You had this really dreamy look in your eyes after I kissed you, you know? Well, I’m the one kissin’ you. I guess that’s a given. 

You try and explain your reaction.

Even so...Don’t be resistin’ when I’m kissin’ me. Ahー Did you think I’d do somethin’ a little more intense? Say...What were you imaginin’ while layin’ there with your eyes closed?”

You refuse to say.

“I’m askin’ you a question so answer me. You thought I’d do something a little more extreme, didn’t you?”

You avert your gaze.

“Hehe...Oi, what’s your answer? You can shake your head and pretend to be innocent all you want, but I already know what kinda girl you are deep down. You were imaginin’ what horrible things I’d do to you, weren’t you?”

You bite your bottom lip.

“Say...Just a few smooches doesn’t satisfy you, does it?”

You puff out your cheeks.

“Haha...Ahー Geez, shut up. Don’t get your panties in a knot. You’re the one who kept quiet this whole time, and now you’re this wide awake. You’re a hundred years too early to try and defy me.”

You ask him to stop.

“...’Stop’? Hmph. You think you have the right to say that? I’m hurt. I mean, you tried to deceive me just now, didn’t you? Why were you pretendin’ to be asleep?”

You explain.

“Hah? You were actually sleepin’? Are you stupid? No way I’d listen to your excuses!”

*Rustle rustle*

“...Where do you think you’re goin’? Don’t move without my permission.”

You try and blame Ayato for sneaking into your room. 

“Haah? I attack you during your sleep all the time though? Why complain about it now?”

You tell him you want to sleep now.

“Fool. You really think I care if you’re tired or not? Why are you so tired anyway? ...Che, were you doin’ somethin’ behind my back? Don’t tell me...You haven’t been bitten by one of the other dudes, right? You know what will happen if you let someone else suck your bloo...Wait, that’s not the case?”

You try and explain yourself.

“You were studyin’ the whole time...Up until this late at night? Well, that’s not my problem tho...”

You point out that Ayato has gotten the same assignment. 

“It does? ...Homework? Math problems? ...No idea. I don’t even know which problems you’re talkin’ ‘bout.”

You tell him there will be a test as well. 

“A test for English class? No clue either. ...Why, you ask? ...I was asleep durin’ class so how do you expect me to remember?”

You sigh.

“Wouldn’t anyone grow sleepy whem havin’ to listen to some teacher recitin’ formulas or English phrases like it’s some sort of spell?”

You tell him it’s important to write that stuff down. 

“Haah? Why would I take notes? I don’t need that crap, and even if I do, I can just steal yours.”

You complain.

“Fuck off! Don’t talk all high and mighty for a Chichinashi! You keep on tellin’ me not to snooze during class but who gives a damn? Listenin’ to those borin’ lectures like you do isn’t my cup of tea.”

You tell him he’ll be in trouble for the exams next week.

“...Aah? We’ve got tests next week as well? First thing I hear ‘bout that.”

You scold him.

“...Aah!? Shut up! Who cares ‘bout that trivial crap!?”

You warn Ayato about having to repeat his year.

“...Heeh? You’re worried ‘bout me havin’ to repeat my year, huh? Aah, right. I guess you don’t want us to get separated.”

You shake your head.

“Aah? You wouldn’t like that, no?”

You shrug.

“For example...You’ll no longer be able to beg for my fangs whenever you’re craving them, you know?”

You get flustered again.

“Haha...What? Sometimes you’re the one who asks for it, remember? Being all like ‘I want to be pierced by Ayato-kun’s fangs so badly, I don’t know what to do with myself!’ Even if you don’t voice it out loud, it’s written all over your face, you know?”

You try and deny it.

“Haha...That’s what it looks like to me so can you blame me? For example...Right. You were spacin’ out during last period yesterday, weren’t you?”

You tell him that’s not true.

“Nah, I remember? Your jaw was all slacked (3), I was actually wonderin’ whether you’d start droolin’ or not. ...You were thinkin’ of me, weren’t you?”

You shake your head.

“Don’t lie! Then why did you have that dreamy look in your eyes!? You’ve been tellin’ me off for sleepin’ during class, so there’s no way you’d admit you were sleepy yourself and yawned, right? So, what was the deal, huh?”

You don’t reply.

“...Hehe. Since you’re stayin’ quiet, you’re basically admittin’ it, huh? What were you daydreamin’ ‘bout during class? Come on, tell me. ...Specifyin’ which part of me you were thinkin’ ‘bout is fine as well, you know?”

You tell him to stop since he already saw right through you.

“Shut up! I don’t care if I’m right or not! Answer me...Is it my fangs you like? Or perhaps...”

*Rustle rustle*

*Sluuuurp*

“Nn...This tongue? Haha...You like gettin’ licked, don’t you?”

You flinch.

“Say, does bein’ licked really feel that good? ...Hehe. Ahー I guess it depends on where I lick you? Well, I know all of your sensitive spots tho. You prefer bein’ licked over bein’ carrassed, no? How is it?”

You look away.

“If you don’t give me an answer soon, I’ll only keep on addin’ questions? It’d be in your best interest to stop blushin’ and just honestly tell me, you know?”

You respond.

“...Haha. You should have just genuinely admitted you like it right away. Well, it’s something I already knew though. That you just love me oh-so much.”

You tell Ayato it’s embarrassing to hear him confess his love like that.

“Hehe...You’re the one who confessed, no? You like bein’ licked by my tongue, don’t you?”

You whimper softly.

“...Haha. You’ve totally gotten a taste of it.”

You blink in confusion.

“Of what, you ask? The taste of joy from bein’ toyed ‘round with like this?”

You deny it.

“Hah...? Oi, what didya say just now?”

You repeat it.

“Heeh, you really think you can tell me you hate me and get away with it?”

You retaliate.

“That’s exactly the part of me you dislike? ...What a cruel woman you are. I’m doin’ this to please you tho?”

You frown.

“What? Got a problem with that?”

You reply.

“Heeh...You’ve sure got guts. But you won’t get away talkin’ back to me like that. If you wanna know what I’ll do...For starters, I’ll kick you out from underneath these soft, comfortable covers...How ‘bout payin’ a visit to the torture chamber for the first time in a while? Hehe...I won’t let you say you’ve forgotten ‘bout that place.”

Your eyes widen.

“Hehe...Seems like imaginin’ it gave you a good wake-up call.”

You tell him it’s bed time. 

“Shut up. Do you really need to sleep? I’m invitin’ you along to keep me company. You should feel honored?”

You remind Ayato that you have school tomorrow.

“Aah? You really think I’d give a damn ‘bout classes tomorrow? If you get sleepy, you can just snooze there, or you could always skip school as well. ...Hah? Whatcha mean, you’d leave me behind and go to classes? You really think I’d let you? Fool! For one, why are you so damn fussy ‘bout goin’ to class? I take my eyes off you for one second and you’ve run off to some other classroom...Just the other day, you didn’t come back until 3rd period!”

You explain.

“...Off-campus activities? You were participatin’ in that shit? ...What I did in the meantime...? Nothin’, really. When I woke up, the classroom was empty, so I decided to kill time by sleepin’ some more but you just wouldn’t come back...So when I wandered ‘round the hallway for a bit, I messed up and let Reiji find me. I panciked and made a run for it, endin’ up in the broadcastin’ room. Mr. Sleepyhead was snoozin’ soundly there, so I decided to drop one of the vases in the room on the floor. Yet he wouldn’t wake up at all! That dude definitely has some screws loose!”

You tell him off. 

“Aah? Who cares ‘bout a stupid vase or two. I was honestly goin’ to throw it at him, but it was heavy so I scratched that idea.”

You tell him that would have hurt Shuu.

“The fuck...? Don’t be worryin’ ‘bout some other guy!”

You ask if he’s upset because you were worried about Shuu.

“Of course. What else could I mean? Geez...I was runnin’ ‘round lookin’ for you ‘cause you had disappeared, remember?”

You explain.

“Fuck off! Whether it’s goin’ to another classroom (4) or havin’ to go change for P.E., you just wander off on your own too often! You really expect me to remember our time table? ...Hmph! You can just drag me along to the next classroom, can’t you? ...It’s dull ‘cause you keep on disappearin’ on me without a word of warning.”

You sigh.

“Hmph. I’m definitely not lettin’ you sleep until it gets dark outside...We’re skippin’ school today.”

You protest.

“Heeh...Then let’s see if you can lull me to sleep instead. Hehe. Give it a try if you dare. However, I slept through most classes except for gym today, so it’s not gonna be easy?”

You ask for a hint.

“A hint? How am I supposed to think of somethin’ when I’m the one who can’t sleep? On top of that, you have to do the work, right? ...Hehe. Altho I feel like I’d only feel even more awake if you were to sing me a lullaby or somethin’. What else...I guess you could read me a book too. Hmー Actually, there’s this book I’ve been curious ‘bout, so read it to me.”

You ask for the title.

“The title? What was it again? ...I don’t remember, but the contents seemed really excitin’. It was somethin’ ‘bout what happens beyond the stuff they teach you in health class (5)...Which means it has a bunch of good stuff written in there, right? I’m sure it teaches you ‘bout the things left out by the textbooks, don’t you think? Hehe, aren’t you curious too? I’m pretty sure I saw it layin’ ‘round in Laito’s room...”

You seem skeptical.

“Hehe...Exactly. I saw it lined up in that freak’s room. Seeing as he kept it on the very back of the shelf, I’m pretty sure the contents are pretty extreme...? Say, doesn’t that pique your interest?”

You tell him it is an anatomy book.

“Ahー A book on the human body? Then, it’d talk ‘bout the different mechanisms of the body too, righ?”

You explain.

“Hah?  It has anatomy drawings in it? The different parts of the ‘capillary vessels’...And now in English? (5) Don’t think you can deceive me like that! ...Whatever. I’ll find out once I go fetch it.”

You frown.

“I’m looking forward to it, you know? Especially...the erotic scenes and such? I don’t mind if you teach me directly with your body either? Aah, by the way, you can’t just read it with a monotone voice, okay? Make sure to put some emotion in there. ...While imaginin’ it, okay? If there’s a part you don’t get, I’ll teach you. For example...Like this, perhaps?”

*Rustle rustle*

“Haha...What’s with that...Pfft...lame reaction?”

You get mad.

“Ahー I know! Stop complainin’ and get to business.”

You frown.

“Whatever, just listen to what I say. You want me to fall asleep, don’t you? Then you’ll have to do somethin’ ‘bout that. And who knows, your book-reading might actually do the trick.”

You nod.

“Haha, if you understand...then hurry up and go get the book.”

You open your mouth to protest.

“I’m not listenin’ to what you have to say. Come on, get movin’. Ahー... But, I guess I can’t let you go to that pervert’s room at this hour.”

Ayato moves away

*Rustle*

“I’ll go get it instead so wait here, ‘kay? I’ll choose a really intense one. Once I’ve got my hands on the book, I’ll have you read it out loud no matter what, okay? Hehe.

You tug him back into the bed by his sleeve.

*Rustle*

"That hurt! Che...Grabbin’ me so aggressively, when the fuck did you get that strong?”

You apologize.

“Hehe...Well, this isn’t a big deal. More importantly...What do you want from me to grab me that desperately? You don’t want me to go get the book? But aren’t you the one who said you wanted to put me to bed? Or maybe...Ahー I see. ...Since you’re this frantic, I guess you really don’t want me to leave your bed, huh? If you admit you don’t want us to be apart for even one second, I don’t mind listenin’ to your request? So...Beg me not to leave.”

You whisper.

“...Can’t hear you. Well then, guess I’ll go fetch that pervert’s book...”

You grab hold of his hand.

*Rustle*

“Haha...Didn’t think I’d see you cling onto me like that.”

You try and explain yourself.

“What part am I wrong about? You don’t want me to leave, right? I won’t let you say it’s just ‘cause you don’t wanna read the book. Hehe...Be honest with yourself already. You don’t want to be separated from me, do you?”

You nod.

“Heehー Fine, fine. If you want me to stay close that badly, I’ll embrace you...like this.”

*Rustle rustle*

“...Your heart’s beatin’ way too fast. Are you that happy? Also...Nn...You smell sweet. I wonder why you smell this sweet...?”

You ask if he’ll suck your blood.

“Not really...I’m not gonna suck your blood today.”

You seem puzzled.

“...Since you seem to want it so badly, I won’t.”

You giggle.

“Don’t laugh. Instead...”

*Rustle rustle*

“Mmh...”

*Smooch*

“Hah...Haha, that expression...I can’t get enough of it. What do you mean? ...Exactly like I said. I mean you’re incredibly cute.”

You protest.

“What’s the problem? I feel that way so just honestly accept it.”

You note that Ayato is acting off.

“It’s out-of-character for me...? I don’t go ‘round sayin’ this to just ‘bout anyone, you know? ...Hehe. It’s written all over your face that you’re actually barely containin’ your joy. Well, I guess that’s to be expected since I made an exception to praise you like that. Come on...Cling onto me tighter. Nn...”

*Smooch*

“You should take some initiative as well. While kissin’...I’ll let you do as you please.”

You kiss him.

*Smooch*

“...Pfft. You suck. Press them properly against each other. That wasn’t nearly enough. More...Nn...”

*Smooch*

“Hehe...It’s already night out, huh?”

You seem worried about school.

“...Well, I don’t mind lettin’ you sleep soon. ...If you were to fall asleep now, you’d still be in the land of dreams by the time the limousine leaves after all.”

You shake your head.

“What? You’re gonna go to school without gettin’ any sleep? Che...Don’t be actin’ like such a miss goody-two shoes. Hold up...Oi. Your eyes are already startin’ to look drowsy...Well, fallin’ asleep while kissin’ doesn’t sound half bad either, does it?”

He kisses you again.

“Nn...”

*Smooch*

“Hehe...Dozin’ off while entangled like this might be nice too. The possessive side inside of me will feel satisfied seeing your melted expression, and at some point, I’ll just nod off without realizin’...I thought that was normal but this might be another way to go ‘bout it as well. I’ll kiss you, so just go sleep already...Nn.”

*Smooch*

You try your best to stay awake.

“Just forget ‘bout school. You’d just fall asleep during the test if you were to go, don’t you think? Stop strugglin’ in vain already. Instead of...goin’ to that stupid school, you should just stay with me the whole time...I’m tellin’ you you can sleep in my arms.”

You blush.

“That way, you won’t suddenly disappear on me the second I take my eyes off you. You’re always talkin’ ‘bout havin’ to collect hand-outs or cleanin’ the classroom (7), right? There’s no need for you to do that shit though. You should only ever work for my sake. For one, I don’t like it when you get up from your seat...Actually, why do we have individual seats at school anyway? They should just use sofas instead.”

*Rustle*

“That’d be perfect to keep you locked in my embrace like this...don’t you think? I definitely won’t let you go. ...Hehe, just give up. You can no longer run. Fall asleep already. ...Goodnight.”

You close your eyes.

“...What? You actually fell asleep? ...Pfft. What a silly face. You’ve got your mouth wide open, you know? This kind of expression of yours...It’s not that interesting, but not bad either. Nn...”

*Smooch*

“I didn’t think I’d feel this way...just from connectin’ our lips. Say...How ‘bout you? Che, she’s sound asleep...Guess she won’t wake up anymore now that it’s this late. Hehe...I won’t allow you to dream ‘bout some other guy, okay? Only ever...look at me...”

Ayato closes his eyes as well.

Once you wake up tomorrow morning...You better tell me...what you dreamt about...”

He dozes off.

“Nn...Yui...I love you...Nn...”

ーー THE END ーー

Translation notes

(1) 目をさます or ‘me o samasu’ literally means ‘to open one’s eyes’, but in English the verb ‘to wake up’ is actually a little more accurate.

(2) Literally he points out that there are ‘wrinkles’ in between her eyebrows. 

(3) しまりのない or ‘shimari no nai’ is always tricky for me to translate because it means ‘loose’, ‘lax’ or ‘slack’. I can’t help but feel like it sounds awkward in English though. 

(4) At Japanese high schools, the students generally stay in the same classroom while the teachers swap. However, for certain classes such as art, music and science, they may have to move to another classroom which has the right equipment. These are called ‘移動教室’ or ‘idou-kyoushitsu’ which means ‘moving classroom’, literally. 

(5) Sex education is also a part of 保健体育 or ‘hoken-taiku’ which is ‘health class’, so I’m sure Ayato is talking about some sort of erotic novel.

(6) Literally he asks her what language she is speaking, implying he has no idea what she is talking about.

(7) Students at Japanese middle & high schools usually help out with several tasks such as cleaning the classroom after classes are over, or collecting print-outs and carrying them to the staff room. Even in the games, there’s a bunch of scenarios where Yui is asked to do that sort of stuff. 

[colormeyondublue]

Chapter 7: We’ve Got A Problem

Chapter 6 Here 

The next morning you awake to find the bed empty. You aren’t actually sure how many hours have gone by since you and Yondu fell asleep last night. You put your pants, bra and tank top on and head out to the front of the M-ship. There is morning light spilling through the viewports. You find Yondu sitting in the captain’s chair, shirtless, silently staring out the window.

“Yondu? What are you doing up here? Is everything okay?” He doesn’t answer you, and he doesn’t look at you. You lay a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Baby, is everything okay?”

“We need to go back to the ship.” He says plainly.

“Okay, that much I figured we would do at some point. But that doesn’t answer my question. Are you okay? What’s bothering you?”

“Nothing. Strap in.” He says coldly.

You stare daggers at him as he walks back to the room you slept in the night before to get his shirt and duster. No. No way, we are not doing this.

“No.”

He comes back out of the room, fully dressed, frustration apparent on his face. “What did ya just say ta me girlie?”

“No. We are not leaving this planet until we talk about this.” You reach over to the ignition panel and pull the starter chip from it’s port. Kraglin taught you a thing or two about M-Ship maintenance. Hotwiring and disabling ignition systems was something you didn’t think you would ever use on Yondu, but this needed settled. You stuffed the small chip into your bra and crossed your arms.

Yondu looked at you with the same ferocity in his eyes that you complimented him on just last night. “Yer gonna regret that sweetheart.” He said between clenched teeth.

“I don’t care. Do your worst. But Yondu, I have seen this before a hundred times with men back on Earth. You’re gonna try to bottle up whatever it is you’re feeling until you blow up in a few days time. I do not have the patience for this. If you didn’t know yet, I am about as stubborn as you are. So, you’re gonna tell me what the problem is. Sit.” You pat the bench you sit down on to encourage him to sit next to you.

“Give me that starter back darlin’. Ya don’t know what yer getting yerself into.”

“No.” You say, with a little immaturity in your voice.

“Y/n, give. Me. That. Starter.” He says as he’s getting a little more annoyed. He starts toward you, and you jump from where you’re sitting.

You try to stay serious, but you can’t help a little giggle that escapes your lips and you dart away from him. You run across the back of the ship and position yourself on the other side of the small dining table near the food storage cabinets.

Yondu approaches you casually, a smirk on his lips. “Honey, yer gonna lose this little game a yers. I promise ya that.”

“Try me.” You taunt.

The two of you try to outwit each other for a few minutes, your slight giggling has evolved into full blown laughter. You can’t control it, your arms are legs are getting weak because you are laughing so hard. Yondu uses this as an opportunity to gain the upper hand. “Git over here!” He darts your direction and you squeal and make a dash for the bedroom. Just before you can close the door behind you, he jumps through the door and tackles you to the bed. After a soft and bouncy landing, you are both laughing now.

“Ya gonna give up?” He asks.

“Never. I need to know what was bothering you. Please.” You press a soft and loving kiss to his lips.

He looks over your face admiringly. Seemingly to take in every little detail. He sighs, “I just been thinking too much. And I think I’m confused. And I’m worried. I may seem tough and confident on the outside, but there are times where I’m unsure of maself and the decisions I make.”

“Oh, well everyone gets that way sometimes. That’s okay. I overthink stuff sometimes too…do you wanna tell me what you were overthinking?”

“Yeah – I just wonder if my life is something you should really be apart of. Being a Ravager is dangerous and exhausting. If anything happened to you, I wouldn’t forgive maself. I wonder if there are better things out there fer ya. Maybe I could take ya back ta Terra, and ya could find yer family. Maybe start over?”

You just stared at him, waiting to see if he would say more.

“I’m starting to feel…things…fer ya, and I’ve made some pretty stupid mistakes in my life. I just don’t want my mistakes to come back ‘round and hurt ya. I don’t deserve love. I don’t deserve a happy ending. My mistakes will follow me for the rest of my life. I just want ya to be safe and happy.

“Okay, I’m gonna just stop you there. You are not getting rid of me, Yondu. I’ve got a job to do on your ship, and I’m going to do it. If you think that the two of us being together might cause issues with the crew, we can address that when the time comes. And do not even think for a second you do not deserve to be loved and find happiness. Saying that you don’t deserve love is like saying I don’t deserve love. Do you think I don’t deserve love?”

Yondu didn’t even take a breath before answering. “A’ course, you do darlin’. You deserve everythin’. The stars and all the moons and all the colors of the cosmos.”

“See? You deserve that too…in my most unbiased and humble opinion.” You finished with a wink and a quick peck to his lips. “Come on, what do ya say we head back to the Eclector?” You reach deep into your bra to pull out the starter chip and place it in Yondu’s hand.

“What am I gonna do with ya?” Yondu sighs as he heads back to the cockpit to get the ignition going.

~~~

Back aboard the Elector, you and Yondu are exiting the Warbird in the main docking bay. Yondu made a comment about the little stunt you pulled that morning, and you both laugh together. Kraglin was approaching the two of you at that moment.

“Well, I suppose the two of you had a nice time.” He said with a hint of a smirk playing on his lips.

You speak up before Yondu could say anything. “We did! The planet was so amazing, and I got to see things I never thought possible. It was wonderful.”

“Well that’s nice.” Kraglin turns to Yondu, “Sir, I’ll need ta be speakin’ with ya about some things…in yer quarters if that’s alright.”

“Everythin’ alright? Is there a problem?”

“Yeah…ya could say that.”  Kraglin says with a frown.                        

“Captain…” you say.

Yondu turns to look back at you and quietly shakes his head as walks in the direction of his cabin with Kraglin. With that, you decided to head back to your cabin to get settled back in. As you walk back, your thoughts were spinning. What could Kraglin have been talking about? Why didn’t Yondu want you to come with them?

Back in Yondu’s cabin, Kraglin was fidgeting where he stood while the Captain changed and got settled in as well. He emerges from his private bathroom with a tired look on his face. “What’s goin’ on Krags? He asked.

“Well, sir, the boys…they been talkin’.”

“Talkin’ ‘bout what, exactly?”

“They was wonderin’ ‘bout y/n. They say she’s been here a while, and no one is allowed a chance at her. Some of them boys is sayin’ some nasty things ‘bout you, sir, and her. I’m not sure how safe it is ‘round some of ‘em. I reminded ‘em a their place…but there are a few men who didn’t seem to get the message.”

Yondu pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. “I’ll go talk ta y/n, let her know what’s goin’ on. I had a feelin’ this shit was comin. Damn it.”

“Cap’n, try not to worry too much. I’m always around. I’ll keep my eyes and ears peeled fer any other talkin’.”

~~~

As you’re readying yourself for bed, you hear a soft knocking on your door. You open it to find a slightly distressed Yondu. He steps inside and closes the door before you have a chance to say anything.

“Yondu, what’s going on. What did Kraglin say?”

“Honey…there ain’t no easy way to put this…but you were right. There is goin’ ta be problems with the crew. It ain’t safe fer you here. I’m settin’ a course fer Terra after we meet our client at Knowhere.” Yondu starts pacing the room with almost a panicked expression. He is totally overwhelmed with his thoughts. You’ve never seen him act this way before.

“Yondu, Yondu. Hold on.” You step closer to him with your hands out. He keeps pacing past you. “Yondu, calm down. It’s going to be okay. I don’t have to go back to Terra. We can handle this.”

“Y/n, ya don’t understand. I don’t even want ta tell ya what could happen. These men…they ain’t all like me n’ Krags. They ain’t all like Tullk or Oblo or Geff. Some of ‘em will not hesitate to hurt ya. Some of ‘em ain’t as loyal ta me as they say they are!” His panicked expression is quickly turning to anger at the thought of the possibilities. Yondu continues, “Not only do they wanna get ta you, but they wanna get to me. There’s been talk of a possible mutiny for months…even before you came aboard. I thought it had quietened down…but I was wrong.”

“Baby…please calm down. Come here.” You grab him by the wrists and look into his eyes. They are laced with a mixture of anger and fear. You pull him into you, and he wraps his arms around you. With a deep breath you say, “We can figure this out. There has to be another way. There has to be.”

“I just don’t see how.” He says as he rubs your back with his strong hands. “I’m willin’ to listen yer ideas, but if things get too dangerous, you have to promise me you’ll go back ta Terra. I’ll even help ya find yer family. If anything happened to ya…I would never forgive maself.”

You lean back to look him in the face again. You reach up to gently trace the scars on his face. “We will figure this out. I know we will.”

"I'm gonna call a meeting tomorrow afternoon and address the crew." He says after a few moments of silence.

"What will you say to them?" You ask.

"I'm not sure yet...but I'll come up with somethin'."

"What if...", you start, "what if you're just honest?"

"What do ya mean?" Yondu asks.

"Well...I know we have only been seeing each other for a few weeks now, and I don't want to rush anything, but what if we came clean? What if you just told them why they aren't allowed at me? I'm sure the title of "Captain's girl" would be enough to drive the point home. Back on my home planet, belonging in a relationship with someone was often enough to deter people from making any moves. Maybe that will help?"

Yondu starts to ponder this idea. He walks over to your bed and sits down. He takes a deep breath and lets out a heavy sigh as he rubs his eyes. "It's possible" is all he says.

"I'm going to leave it up to you. I don't want to rush anything or force your hand, but if it puts an end to this nonsense, I'm game. And besides, if the whole ship knew we're an item, we wouldn't have to sneak around anymore. I could come to your cabin whenever I please." You sit down next to him and place a hand on his knee. You lean into his neck to place a few light kisses behind his ear.

"Mmmm...that actually sounds really nice. My girl bein' at my beck and call?" He turns to press his lips to yours. You deepen the kiss and pull him into you by his duster. He leans back and sensually licks his lips. "Your beck and call huh?" You ask with a little smirk.

"Mhm. If I plan on tellin' the crew yer mine, I plan on really makin' ya mine."

[gladerimaginex]

Greenie (Part 3)

Request: OMG! I had spent the last 5 hours to read your writing and honestly I think you are one of the best! And I was wondering if you could write a part 3 of « Greenie »? (maybe with a very sassy Minho and an annoyed Thomas *who will anyway be in for Minho’s idea*?) Feel free to do so or not! If you do: a massive THANKS!^^

TWs: Nothing really; more of a general warning though- in the past I never wrote anything spicy, but I think I may start doing some of that because why not

Author’s note: picking back up after literal years because my old coping mechanisms are the only thing left for me now :)))  

Y/n’s first day with the runners had been a whirlwind of rules, tips, sprinting, and exhaustion. Despite that, by the time a few weeks had passed, she had fallen in love with her new job. It was the only thing that actually made her feel like she was accomplishing something in the glade, actually getting them closer to freedom. Sure, the diversions of the glade with the other boys kept her busy, but she only felt useful when she was running. 

Ever since her first day in the glade, Y/n had stuck close to Minho, Thomas, and Newt. The three boys were all intensely committed to protecting and freeing gladers, but otherwise seemed to bring out the best in each other. Minho and Thomas constantly joked and tried to make the quieter, gentler Newt laugh. Y/n felt like she fit right in. She too constantly longed to see Newt’s face light up with a smile. 

“How was it in the maze today?” Newt’s voice called from the homestead and Y/n pulled the hair tie from her sweaty locks. 

Y/n turned and shrugged. “Same answer as every single other day. Very grey. A few vines.”

Newt rolled his soft brown eyes as he limped up to her. “Yeah, yeah, no need to be a smartass.” 

“You know, sometimes I just can’t help it,” she chuckled, gently elbowing Newt in the ribs. “Besides, I can’t help it that you ask me the exact same question every day within minutes of my arrival back in the glade. I only have so much creativity!” 

Newt rolled his eyes again, but this time with a slight scowl. “Yeah, whatever. So sorry for worrying about you doing the most dangerous job in the glade,” he muttered before heading back towards the homestead. 

“Newt!” Y/n called out to him in confusion, but he just kept walking.

Minho slid into the bench seat beside Y/n and across from Thomas with his dinner plate full. “Hey hey Y/n. What’s with Newt today?” he said, eyeing where the blonde boy sat by himself at a table across the room. He always sat with them and only ate alone when second-in-command duties called him away during mealtimes. 

Y/n shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine, he was totally fine earlier until his mood just… flipped.” 

“Well did he say anything after your run? I saw you two chatting,” Thomas pointed out around a mouthful of food. 

Y/n wrinkled her nose at his table manners but shrugged again. “Nah, we were just messin’ around as usual and then he just stomped off. I mean I know he’s a bit more sensitive than the two of you, but I didn’t even say anything bad! I dunno, maybe we’ve just been a bit too hard on him lately?” 

“Eh, just give him some time to cool down then, Y/n. I’m sure he’s fine, just wants a bit of alone time,” he suggested with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Besides,” he added, grinning cheekily, “I think we could all use some alone time with your annoying ass around sometimes.” 

“Hey!” Y/n shouted with a laugh, pretending to throw a punch at Minho. 

He laughed with glee and dramatically dodged her fake punch, jumping from his seat, bending low at the waist, and barreling towards her midsection. She squealed as he threw her over his shoulder and started running towards the door, shouting “You know the rules, Greenie! Off to the slammer you go!” 

Thinking quickly, even with all the blood rushing to her head, Y/n reached out as best she could and started tickling Minho. 

“Shuck it, Y/n, you’re gonna make me drop you!” he gasped through all the laughter and wiggling, desperately trying to escape Y/n’s fingers. 

“That’s the idea-AHHH!” she shouted as Minho finally lost his grip and she plummeted to the floor. He collapsed beside her, the both of them breathless with laughter, while Thomas stood over them, looking down with a grin. 

“If you guys wanted to start a regular fight night, why didn’t you just say so? I’m sure we could get Gally on board,” Thomas laughed, sticking his hand out to help y/n to her feet. 

“Better watch out! You’re next!” she shouted, hopping to her feet without Thomas’s assistance and putting her fists in front of her face as though beginning a boxing match. Minho accepted Thomas’s hand and slapped him on the shoulder. 

“No offense, man, but my money’s on Y/n.” 

She opened her mouth to gloat, but before a word could pass her lips, she heard a sharp “huff!” and felt someone swoop by her, booking it towards the door. She spun around just in time to see Newt’s back stalk away from dinner alone. 

Thomas gave a low whistle. “Okay, something really pissed him off.” 

Y/n dropped her hands to her sides and rolled her eyes. “Honestly what’s his problem?” she scoffed, feeling annoyance rise in herself. Being frustrated is one thing, but taking it out on your friends is quite another. 

“Should someone go talk to him?” Minho asked slowly. By the time Y/n had turned back around to face Minho and Thomas, they were both looking at her expectantly. 

“Me?! Why do I always have to talk to people when they’re pissed?”

Minho shrugged. “You’re gentler than us. And cuter.”

You let out a sharp laugh. “Aww, I think you guys are cute,” you said, pinching each of their cheeks while they attempted to bat you away. 

Y/n eventually found Newt wandering the gardens alone in the dark. His head was drooping towards his chest so that his blonde hair fell into his face. Y/n had thought he was pissed, but now he looked… sad. Sad and lonely. 

She knew the feeling well. 

“You gonna walk around alone all night?” she called, watching Newt jump at her words, but he didn’t spin around. 

“If you’ll let me,” he grumbled, only just loud enough for Y/n to hear. 

She stepped right up beside him, ignoring the way he ever so slightly leaned away from her. “Well looks like you’re out of luck then.” She firmly planted her feet in the ground and stuck her hands on her hips. “Cause you’re stuck with me. So you can tell me what’s goin’ through your head or you can keep moping.” 

Newt scoffed. “You’re kind of the last person I need to comfort me right now.” 

Taken aback, Y/n recoiled. “Okay, wow. You don’t have to be such a jerk about it, Newt.”

“Me?!” he nearly shouted, finally turning to face her, his eyes wide. “Me being a jerk?! You practically make fun of me for being concerned about your safety and-

“That’s the same teasing we’ve both ALWAYS done-”

 “-then you and Minho and Thomas rub it in my face-”

“Rub WHAT in your face exactly?” Y/n said, exasperation causing her to raise her voice. 

Newt cast his eyes down, finally pausing. “You with Minho and Thomas. You can’t keep your hands off them and they certainly can’t keep their hands off you,” he muttered, absently kicking at the ground. 

Y/n let out a heavy sigh. So that was what all this was about. “Newt, are you serious? That’s the way we’ve always been- we mess around. It’s all just jokes. And what do you care anyway? You’ve never… you’ve never made a move or anything,” she sputters out, finally getting embarrassed herself. Maybe because she felt like the argument was stupid, or maybe because she didn’t want to admit that she had been waiting for him to make a move, and maybe she had always been a bit disappointed that he never had. 

Newt threw his hands up, equally as exasperated. “Well what was I supposed to do? Just assume you were into me, when you treated me only *slightly* *LESS* friendly than Thomas and Minho? I was just supposed to assume and hope you liked me?” 

“Well what was I supposed to do?” she shot back. “Assume that you liked me even though you treated me just like ‘one of the boys’?!” 

Newt cocked an eyebrow. “I do NOT treat you like one of the boys.” His voice was quieter now, but far firmer. He almost sounded… harsh. 

“How so?” she demanded, not ready to ease up. 

“For starters, I think about you first thing every morning. And all throughout the day. And when you’re supposed to be getting back from the maze. And right before I fall asleep every night. I don’t think about the other boys that often.”

Y/n opened her mouth to retort, but no words came out. Her brain was still trying to catch up with what Newt had said. “And everytime I see you, I can’t take my eyes off of you, and I can’t help but think about the way it would feel to touch you- not like the way we nudge and high-five, but to *really* touch you- to kiss you and smell your hair and feel your skin under my fingers… to hear you whisper my name back to me... “ he trailed off, staring intently into Y/n’s eyes for the first time that night. His face was no longer a scowl of annoyance, but now there was a flicker of desire behind his eyes. “I don’t think about anyone else that way,” he finally finished, hoarsely. 

“Newt... “ She whispered, nearly choking on her own words, feeling her face flush hotter by the second and the rest of her body erupt in tingles. 

“Yeah, exactly like that baby,” he said as he lunged forward and roughly pushed his lips against Y/n’s, gripping her waist. 

The shock didn’t slow her down; she immediately wrapped her arms around him, tangling her fingers in his gorgeous blonde hair. 

He was kissing her harder than she imagined possible, taking her breath away in every way possible. HIs fingers slid up under her shirt and gripped the bare skin on her waist. He pulled away from her lips and kissed her neck, behind her ear, burying his face in her neck and hair, squeezing her even tighter. “This is how I wanted to feel your skin, this is how I wanted to smell your hair. This is how I wanted to kiss you,” he muttered before returning hungerly to her lips. 

She pulled back for just long enough for a cheeky grin and to say, “Well why didn’t you say so?”