#started writing cashton

[daydadahlias]

samesiesss i just wasnt sure bc i *think* i've seen u post about lashton b4 but whatever-

that was years ago, my friend, I've since outgrown my lashton phase ✋

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Hurt!Calum Masterlist

Links Last Checked: August 6th, 2024

Enemy Territory (ao3) - xelated calum/ashton, michael/luke T, 2k (WIP)

Summary: cashton werewolf au.

crossing enemy lines is dangerous business, something they should’ve known would never end well.

Good boys and sad subs (ao3) - kittenmichael luke/ashton, michael/calum N/R, 3k

Summary: “Remember what you promised me this morning? Are you going to be a good boy for me today?”

“Of course!” Luke giggles. “Then you’ll give me lots of kisses when you get back, right?”

“Anything for my princess,” Ashton whispers, his voice deep and soft. He curses himself, fully aware of how whipped he is for this boy. The way Luke listens to him, trying his hardest to get Ashton’s attention and approval, desperate for his love. It kills him.

or, luke wants to be a good boy for ashton, but something gets in the way

if it's all a dream, don't wake up (ao3) - lifewasradical michael/calum G, 5k

Summary: Calum dreams of it all, but front and center, as always, is Michael, smiling and holding his hand through every scenario. Calum’s always sought out Michael in times of comfort, something he thinks will never change, regardless of how old they get and how many years they spend together. 

Or, 5 times Michael tells Calum to go back to sleep and the one time Calum tells Michael to go back to sleep.

I Love You So Much It Hurts (ao3) - pommedhappy michael/calum, luke/ashton M, 2k

Summary: Calum hisses in pain when the burning coffee hits his hand. He’s not the clumsy type, he’s really not, but those kinds of events tend to happen a lot nowadays. Calum adds this to the list of injuries indirectly caused by one Michael Clifford. He blames Michael for everything, actually. Because he was fine before his best friend from a decade starts to act so affectionate, and messes with his brain. Now he can’t escape the blond during the day, and when he closes his eyes Michael’s face is all he sees. It’s tiring, it really is.

Fortunately, Michael is always there to take care of him.

I'm Begging You to Be My Safety (ao3) - kayehmwhy luke/ashton G, 1k

Summary: “I don’t really tell anyone unless I have to,” the younger said staring at the floor. “It’s not something i’m proud of.”

Or // Luke's emetophobic, Calum's airsick, Ashton's trying to help and Michael's asleep.

Little lines that write your face (ao3) - cthink michael/calum G, 1k

Summary: Michael thought he was beautiful, with his papery leather books filled with scrawled ink lettering, carving words of magnificence into delicate pages.

Unfortunately, not everyone else did.

Love (and and other acts of madmen) (ao3) - TempestRising michael/calum G, 13k

Summary: ...every nerve Michael has is on edge and his brain won't stop screaming Calum Calum Calum and his hands are still red, and there's still blood under his fingernails from where he cradled Calum's body before they tore them apart.   "Well honey," the nurse says, "if you've got a god I'd start praying. You might be here a while."

Or: Calum gets shot at a concert.

More Than This (ao3) - nationalnobody calum/ashton, michael/luke G, 1k

Summary: In which Calum is sick and puts up a front because he refuses to let anybody find out and Ashton is the only one who realises it.

Playin' In The Street, Gonna Be A Big Man Some Day (ao3) - senioritastyles calum/ashton G, 3k

Summary: Calum and Ashton face off in the national college football championship.

Subject Line - @daydadahlias​​ (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) calum/ashton E, 20k

Summary: Maybe the sunrise doesn’t matter much after all. Calum can watch the sunrise any day. How many days will he get Ashton like this? Shirtless, sporting bedhead in a hotel room, with just the two of them for a few lazy hours alone?

Soon enough, they’ll be back on the tour bus and Calum won’t be allowed to hold Ashton’s hand anymore.

The Upside of Everything Wrong (ao3) - cashcakeplz michael/calum, luke/calum, luke/ashton N/R, 24k

Summary: “Well we’ve always kind of deviated, don’t you think?” He says with a sly little smile that metaphorically knocks Calum on his ass. His face turns red again, and why, why is Michael doing this to him? “I do think that.” He whispers. He leans a bit closer to Michael, and lets his head rest against the boy’s shoulder. “But this isn’t a date.”

or the one where Calum's been betrayed by everyone he's put trust in, and believes he's unlovable until Michael appears, and shows Calum just how easy being loved can be

what it was and what it wasn't (ao3) - orphan_account T, 4k

Summary: Dragons. Fictional creatures that weren’t quite fictional. They were monsters, invading the Earth from another planet and destroying its inhabitants.

That’s how the humans saw it. But nothing is ever as seen on the surface, is it?

Everything has layers.

[allsassnoclass]

2022 Writing Evaluation

I was tagged by the wonderful Bella @clumsyclifford (thank you for digging this up and tagging me first because i 100% was going to do it anyway lol)

also my pseudonyms are combined on ao3 so although this is my 5sos blog you will be hearing about my other fandom writing as well

1. number of stories posted on ao3: 17!

2. word count posted for this year: 124,269 on ao3, 23,433 for ask box prompts, so a grand total of 147,702!

3. fandoms i wrote for: 5sos, 1d, It (2017 and 2019 movies), Stranger Things, HSMTMTS, Cobra Kai

4. pairings: on ao3 we have some nice crisp muke, lashton, mashton, mashton (friendship version), cashton, cake, malum, narry, lilo (and then also kiaz and caswen (friendship(?) version) and reddie and hellcheer).  adding in the ask box prompts and we also have 5sos ot4, roylum, and lashton (friendship version)

5. story with the most kudos/bookmarks/comments: for all of those it’s technically my hellcheer fic, but for the 5sos ones hits and kudos are The Catch, comment threads is pas de deux! 

6. work i’m most proud of (and why): pas de deux hands down no question.  it’s my longest fic by over 20k!  i wrote it almost constantly from november to december and had a goal to post each chapter on christmas and the four sundays leading up to it and i actually accomplished that goal!!!! i’ve never successfully focused on one particular fic for that long, and it actually worked!!! plus, for such a long fic, i think i did a relatively good job of keeping characterizations consistent and sensical throughout, as well as finding little themes to carry through the entire fic (which i got lucky with tbh, some things that became running pieces of the fic were not planned out before, i just caught them as they were happening).  i haven’t read the fic back since completing it so it’s possible it’s not as cohesive or as good as i think it is, but i’m extremely proud of myself for it nonetheless.

7. work i’m least proud of (and why): right now, it’s probably when i watch the world burn.  i struggled with that one and in the end i don’t think it quite got to where i wanted it to, but i was on a time crunch.  it’s a lot different from what i usually write, but i don’t know if i made that transition to a different story style and topic as smoothly as i would have liked.

8. share or describe a favorite review you received: someone left a very long and gratifying comment on both Puzzle Pieces and its sequel Bedroom Activities back in February.  grey114 if you see this i love you.  it was really gratifying to get a comment on a piece that i love so much that was over a year old at that point, especially since they said it was a reread and they just touched on a lot of things in a really sweet way and that made me feel very happy to have written those fics.

also i know this doesn’t technically count because it got it today but amanda read when i watch the world burn (again, not my proudest work) and said that although this “isn’t her kind of fic” she said that that particular fic is the “biggest proof that it’s the writer more than the content or pairing” because she enjoyed it, which was really nice to hear especially when i’m not feeling the best about it.  it’s also just an insane compliment because i absolutely love amanda’s writing, and every time a writer i love also confirms that they really like my stuff it makes me feel good lol

9. a time when writing was really, really hard: the entire first 3/4 of the year, tbh!  i was in a big writing slump earlier in the year and it seemed to keep going forever, then I was super busy in the summer and simply didn’t have time.  i don’t think i hit my writing stride again until i let myself impulse-write for other fandoms.  i think that’s what i really started to realize exactly what it means to write what you love uninhibited, rather than writing what you think you should.  like. i have 10k of an angsty caswen at college fic in my drive that may never see the light of day because it’d be super long, but letting myself go to town on that with no expectations of necessarily posting it or even completing it was really healthy for me and extremely enjoyable, and it loosened all the writing mechanisms in my brain to get me back in a writing groove.

10. a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: hmmmmm let’s see.  honestly i was most surprised to write anything for hsmtmts or cobra kai, let alone something from johnny’s pov, but for 5sos stuff i was surprised to write so much feldy.  he became a pretty big player in pas de deux and when initially planning that fic i don’t think i realized how much screen time he would have.  ashton’s characterization in when i watch the world burn was also surprising.  i didn’t know when i started writing that he would be like that.

11. a favorite excerpt of your writing:  here’s a little bit of the ending of undeniable you

When Ashton fully wakes up, he can hear spring rain pattering against the roof.  The room is still blanketed in gray, but Michael is still glowing, even if Ashton only has a view of his bedhead from the way they’re cuddled together.  He shifts right before Ashton musters up the willpower to leave the comforting warmth of their bedroom and begin breakfast, as if he can sense that Ashton would rather spend the morning talking with him in appropriately hushed tones than leaving the cozy atmosphere that surrounds them.  His eyes are fuzzy and sleepy when he blinks up at him, but he smiles like he’s never been more sure of his place here.

12. how did you grow as a writer this year? i finally truly understood what it means to write for myself!!!! to write for the enjoyment of writing!!!! to stop holding myself to arbitrary standards of what fics i should be working on and how often!!!!!! this year i really let myself work on what i want when i want, and it really did wonders for me.  also, i discovered that for the most part outlining does genuinely help me

13. how do you hope to grow next year? mostly i want to continue to write what i want to write.  i want to maintain this peace and enjoyment of writing that i’ve found and continue to treat myself with kindness when it comes to this hobby and not let it become unpleasant.  that being said, i do also want to focus on individual projects more.  i think the key to ensuring these two things aren’t mutually exclusive is to find projects that i genuinely love and to add little bits in there for me to enjoy, like all of the minnesota references (and the csi miami reference) in pas de deux.

EDIT: I also want to start replying to comments this year! i might not reply to new comments on old fics just because i’d feel weird not replying to the comments before (and i have fics form 2016, so i feel like it’d be weird if i went back and replied to those) but i’ll at least reply to comments put on pas de deux onwards.

14. who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc)? okay i’m going to list four (4!!!) different people.  bella @clumsyclifford and annie @carouselstars have both been extremely supportive, especially while i’ve been complaining in the club nearly every day for the past two months.  they’re always encouraging me.  i also need to give a big shout out to megs @igarbagecannoteven and gregory @doomeddiabetic for being great sounding boards! pas de deux would not have been completed without megs helping me sort things out in the very beginning, and gregory is willing to talk shop about fandoms they’re not even part of.

15. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year? little things here and there!  it’s most prevalent in pas de deux, where i highkey projected onto both characters and forced them to exist in minneapolis.  i have been to mia and love all of the art pieces i mentioned in chapter 3. my favorite ballet is dances at a gathering.  i, like calum, must always remind people of famous minnesotans.  shayla is my favorite newscaster.  i watch csi miami and ncis when i need something mindless on in the background.  i namedropped my old tech director and ballet teacher in that one.  pas de deux is full of little hazel pieces lol

16. any new wisdom you can share with other writers? find what pleases you!  find what you enjoy, and don’t turn writing into a chore that you have to do, but rather a special treat to enjoy!  this doesn’t mean that it’s going to be sunshine and rainbows all the time, of course.  maybe you’re the type of writer who gets immense satisfaction from finishing a difficult piece, and that far outweighs the frustration and struggles to write it!  everyone is going to be different with figuring out what constitutes enjoyment, but that’s what helped me, at least.

17. any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year? i’m trying not to put too much pressure on myself but i really hope to finish three particular 5sos fics.  i think they could become my new favorites.  i also have a cobra kai fic that i’d love to write!  also, i really want to post at least one chapter of unmute, given that i didn’t do that this year

18. tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read:  @igarbagecannoteven, @carouselstars, @lifewasradical, @jbhmalumm, @lukemichaelcalumashton, @babush-cat if you’d like!

[igarbagecannoteven]

2022 Writing Evaluation

thanks so much @clumsyclifford , @allsassnoclass , & @jbhmalumm for tagging me in this! i'm gonna talk about my fics in all fandoms even tho this is my music blog bc i don't have anything separated into pseuds (i strive for chaos on my ao3 account) putting it under the cut bc i'm sure it's gonna be long lol

number of stories posted on ao3: 25! 18 in 5sos, 4 in hp, and 3 miscellaneous fandoms

word count posted for this year: 40,705

fandoms i wrote for: 5sos, hp, discworld, doctor who, & dungeons and daddies

pairings: lashton (4), cashton (3), muke (2.5) (bc they're background in one), malum (2), cake (2), mashton (1), penelope/percy (1)

story with the most kudos/bookmarks/comments: burnt eggs & broken promises has the most kudos, do you wanna touch (yeah) and permanent jet lag are tied for most bookmarks, and fear the fever has the most comments

work i’m most proud of and why: i'm proud of almost all of the work i put out this year, and there are a couple ones that immediately spring to mind, but i'm going to really come out of left field here and say Being Hannah Abbott! "but megs," you might say, "why on earth would you pick the only fic that has zero kudos? it's definitely not your best written work of the year." to which i say, true! however, i have been trying to get this fic right since 10th grade! i'm now a senior in college! "but megs it's significantly less than 1k how did it take you that long" listen! listen. sometimes. you have to wait until you're good enough to finish a fic. this has more than 5 docs of different drafts saved to my laptop. also you're forgetting the fact that i'm insane

work i’m least proud of and why: okay listen. i know it's my most kudos'd work. i know that. however i am not happy with burnt eggs and broken promises. bella left me a lovely long comment on it recently that made me rethink my feelings towards it but i still think it isn't as good as it could have been so sorry folks

share or describe a favorite review you’ve received: i love it when people tell me i made them cry it's my favorite thing in the whole world best compliment to receive imo

a time when writing was really, really hard: you're assuming i remember what i was experiencing earlier in 2022 which is where you've made your mistake slkdjflskdjf ummmm i remember have a really hard time this fall semester, especially in september/october, i just couldn't get any motivation whatsoever (which tends to be my biggest problem tbh)

a scene or character you wrote who surprised you: goood question,,, you know, i really wasn't expecting to ever write a mcu au and yet pining is a strange sort of mcu au. i originally was going to write it so one half of the pairing got lost at sea and their bf was waiting on shore not sure if they were dead or alive, but the characters did not want to be like that at all which is how i ended up with poor post-snap calum (who may be getting a happy sequel someday shhh)

a favorite excerpt of your writing: i love the transformation scene in fear the fever. i just love writing body horror for some reason and i've always had strong opinions about what i think vampires & their transformations are like physically and it was a blast to get to explore that in this fic :))

how did you grow as a writer this year? i think a lot of my growth happens slowly over time and therefore is hard to pinpoint, but i took a creative writing class in the spring on opening a novel and that helped me rethink the way i start fics now. also i learned to think more about what i want out of my fic! thinking about why i write and why i post fic really helped me realize what fic writing advice to take and what to ignore (if you're like me and the goal of a fic is to write the concept the best you can, than posts talking about how it's okay to post random, unedited snippets are not actually helpful and can actually be counter-intuitive)

how do you hope to grow next year? i really want to write more often and be more disciplined about writing. as always i want to learn how to be better in the craft aspect in general (which is a goal i expect to always have, since i'll never be perfect at it) and i'd also like to be better with subtext & symbolism & ~themes~ bc i always forget to those last two and my subtext is, in my opinion, rather lacking at the moment

who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc)? bella is the best live-in cheerleader/rubber duck a writer could ask for, and i would be royally screwed without her 💙 hazel is always an incredible virtual cheerleader/ideas bouncer and i am dearly in her debt, and meghna is wonderful for fueling my wacky ideas-mobile; i am incredibly lucky that they're just a discord dm away 🥰 also she's 100% not going to see this but my mom finished her mfa program this year and has been working on finishing her novel, and writing with her and talking shop together has been very helpful in keeping me at the keyboard and with more thematically technical details (little does she know it's for my rfp fanfic lol)

anything from real life show up in your writing this year? yep! lots! keep you safe (safe as i can), an hp fic, reflects some of my worries about my little bro growing up; Questions Involving Vampires & Skirts, while not reflective of my own gender, does reflect some of my weird gender-y fuckery; just dance (gonna be okay)'s michael shares my feelings regarding dancing in empty elevators; do you wanna touch (yeah) is inspired by me visiting a craft store with my fam and touching basically everything in the store; permanent jet lag is based off of flying international with my baby bro who is Very Tall; & glasses is based off of my truly awful eyesight and how i still feel like if i have my glasses off people can't perceive me lol (yes you heard it here first folks, megs has the object permanence of a toddler)

any new wisdom you can share with other writers? write! have fun with it! go to irl critique groups if possible! don't expect things to be perfect on the first draft, because most people's first drafts are shit and that's okay! challenge yourself! don't be afraid to embrace the cringe! it's okay to settle unless it's gonna make you miserable! eat your writing frogs! don't be afraid to ask for help! get a rubber duck!

any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year? i really want to finish tis the damn fic. i'd love for it to be ready to post by december. i'm kneeling at my prefrontal cortex begging it to get its shit together enough to finish it. i'd also love to finally finish my another place songfic bc that will mean my writing's reached the level where i can actually figure out how to write the dang thing which is the dream

tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read: idk who all's done it/been tagged so if you've already done it just ignore me! and if you don't want to do it you can also ignore me lol but i'll tag @werewolfashton , @reveriesofawriter , @userbadomens , @calumthoodshands , @pixiegrl , @valiantnerdtm , & anyone else who wants to! (if you've been mainly writing for another fandom you can talk about that one as well/instead, all up to you!)

[suchalonelysunflower]

hi!! i’ve read most of your work and absolutely love everything you write!

i wanted to see if you have any recommendations for any luke x reader or calum x reader fics??

ty in advance 🥰

Babes, that such an honor ❤️🥹 I’m so so so happy you like them, it means the world to me and more ❤️

Now, there are some great writers here! Starting off with Hailey @talkfastromance4 who’s the QUEEN of Luke fics, I swear you’re gonna love them and her Calum stuff?! Oof makes me melt

Of course my dearest @cal-puddies and @kindahoping4forever know Calum very well and lately they’ve been dipping into Luke which I’m very much excited about

For telenovela drama and interesting characters that you will love go with @hoodharlow Blanca is your girl

Let’s not forget about @wastelandcth Gemma’s fics are everything you want and more. But my personal suggestion is Coney Island because I just listened to the song and Gemma we still beefing

@littledrummeraussie has some seriously good cashton on her page 😌🥰

And @theshyspy has such a soft spot for Luke I- 🥹❤️ truly lovely

And so so so many more! You’re gonna love them ❤️

[calumsash]

hi maya! 🙋‍♀️💖❌ for the fic asks 🤭

hiii aerie!!! thank u <3

🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

i got one friend who does! and she read the first fic i posted actually! it was pretty funny cause we both started writing a fic without telling the other and then we were like "wait you did that too??"

💖 What made you start writing?

well!! i think i have always had ideas in my brain ever since i started reading fics, i'd go to sleep and make up these fic ideas in my head and all yk. i made some attempts before (a luke ~imagine~ that is pretty deep in my old blog from like 2014, two muke fics that i discovered like a week ago i wrote the beginning for in 2016??) but 2021 is when i really wrote and finished fics!! i definitely got inspired by my friends here who are great writers and we kept talking scenarios of different fics and aus and i just!!! wanted to join in the fun i guess?? also i just wanted more cashton fics and sometimes you gotta take matters into your own hands and just do it, so i did <3

❌ What’s a trope you will never write?

hmmm that's difficult cause never say never, right? but i think high school aus are off the table cause:

sent me an emoji and i'll answer some writer asks

[lukemichaelcalumashton]

2022 WRITING EVALUATION

i started answering these questions because hazel @allsassnoclass tagged me, but i took forever so now i’ve also been tagged by amanda @lifewasradical and taylor @jbhmalumm too lmaoo thank you guys <3

i’m gonna do as you suggested, hazel, and include my non 5sos fics here too instead of doing this again in my 911 blog @buckleyseddie it’s easier this way!

1. number of stories posted on ao3: 13 (9 5sos fics, 1 stranger things fic, 3 911 fics)

2. word count posted for this year: 73,269 for 5sos, 36,154 for 911 and 9,223 for stranger things, so a total of 118,646!

3. fandoms i wrote for: 5sos, stranger things, 911

4. pairings: i have malum (2), mashton (1) lashton (1), cashton (2), muke (1), ot4 (1) and my favorite luke/suffering (1) lmao, steve/eddie from stranger things (1) and buddie (3)

5. story with the most kudos/bookmarks/comments: overall it's the first buddie fic I posted, but for the 5sos fics bookmarks and kudos is Off-stage, comment threads is fueling the fire until we combust

6. work i’m most proud of (and why): i think it’s if i could say the things i want to say (i’d find a way to make you stay), my muke fic for the 5sos fic exchange at the beginning of the year, it was my first long fic and i was very happy about how it came out, there were many times when i didn’t think i would be able to finish it, also it was my first muke fic and i was nervous about getting the dynamic right and there was a deadline so. lots of pressure!! being able to finish it (and getting very nice comments and feedback on it) was very important for me

7. work i’m least proud of (and why): i think i’m actually proud of all of them because this year writing was a Struggle so being able to post every single one of these fics feels like something to be proud of! 

8. share or describe a favorite review you received: i can’t think of one in particular right now but anyone who has ever complimented my characterization or said that i got a ship/friendship dynamic right please know that i love you! this year i wrote quite a few fics for ships i’ve never done before and it made me very nervous whether or not i did it right so any comments like those made my day for sure

also i think the comments on mating call might be some of my favorite comments ever because, let’s face it, that fic is ridiculous svdfdf and people still read it and they left the nicest comments calling it funny and calling me funny and it was very nice to see people enjoying it, especially considering it was the most fun i had while writing a fic i think EVER 

9. a time when writing was really, really hard: can i say the entire year??? there were maybe 2 or 3 fics that i posted this year that didn’t give me a hard time, but the rest of the year i was Struggling either because i had no time or no motivation or writing simply wasn't happening. i’m actually impressed that i posted 13 fics because at times it felt like i wasn’t getting any writing done this year 

10. a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: well i definitely didn’t expect to end up writing for 911 or stranger things, so that was a surprise! i also didn’t expect to write lashton again! and i didn’t expect to write a luke/suffering fic! all of them were fun surprises though 

11. a favorite excerpt of your writing: i thought about this for a while and then i had to skim through my fics because i couldn’t remember what i wrote oops but i really like this excerpt from i wanna hold your hand while we’re growing up so let’s go with this one

Michael focuses on their hands.

The contrast between their skin, Calum’s chipped black nail polish, Michael’s finger tattoos, the difference in their size.

It wasn’t always like this. Calum’s hand used to be smaller, Michael’s fingers used to be less calloused, but it’s still familiar, after years of doing this.

And maybe it’s the fact that Calum looks tiny like this, hurt and scared, but his hand feels smaller in Michael’s hold, like it did the first time he held it. Back then, Calum also needed reassurance and a friend, and Michael was there for him, the same way he is now. Just like he didn’t let go of Calum’s hand then, during the entire field trip, he doesn’t let go of it now; holding tight to it while he talks to his mother, while they wait for the doctor, while she explains to Calum that it’s going to be a long road towards recovery and he’s going to need his friends.

Michael squeezes his hand to make sure Calum knows he’s here. Michael will always be here.

12. how did you grow as a writer this year? well apparently i wrote 45k more than i did in 2021? which feels so fake because like i said i felt like i didn't post as much and i felt like i struggled a lot. also i wrote 4 fics over 9k which was my highest word count for a fic in 2021

more importantly i also learned (or at least i’m still trying to learn) that sometimes you just can’t force writing. i have to admit i’ve missed writing 5sos lately but i’ve stopped trying to force myself to do it because it takes away all the fun and i don’t want that. i’m hoping that the motivation to write for this fandom will come back, but i’m trying to write what i want to write and right now that’s not 5sos and that’s okay

13. how do you hope to grow next year? i just really want to enjoy writing again and like, let go of the pressure because it doesn’t make the process enjoyable at all. even if i’m proud of what i accomplished this year i spent so much time stressing!! and life is already stressful, i want writing to be fun!!

14. who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc)? oh there’s quite a few! i think i owe most of the fics i posted this year to my friends??? like, maya @calumsash was so supportive while writing my muke fic, she gave me great ideas, listened to me complain and hyped me up so much when i would send her snippets (which she always does <3), her and jess @daydadahlias never fail to hype up my cashton fics or ideas!! talking with amanda was what made me write a lashton fic again!! and she gave me ideas/feedback on one of my malum fics too!! then there’s taylor of course who’s always down to talk about ideas that may or may not turn into fics and i’m not only lucky to be able to talk about 5sos fics with them but they also encouraged me to write my stranger things fic and had very nice things to say about it and then i managed to get them into 911 (maya too!) and now i get to talk to them about fic ideas for buddie too

15. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year? hm i don’t think so? all i can think about is the fact that calum loves chocolate milkshakes in one of my fics and michael doesn’t get why (which is based on me and taylor having that same argument once lmao) 

16. any new wisdom you can share with other writers? write what you want but also accept that sometimes a fic idea doesn’t have to become a fic, sometimes it’s just fun to talk about it or daydream about it or make a moodboard for it! it’s not exactly writing wisdom but it makes having fun a little easier!! less pressure!!

17. any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year? i have two long cashton fics that i really want to finish but like i said the motivation to write for the boys hasn’t been there, but hopefully at some point. i have quite a lot written for both so maybe i can make it happen. one is a fake relationship au and i’ve always wanted to write that trope so i really really want to finish that one!! and the other one is the one that me and maya affectionately refer to as the storm au, i’ve sent her so many snippets and there’s so much that i love about what i have written and that i really want to share!! also i have a few ideas for buddie that i think have a higher chance of happening in the near future because i’m so obsessed with them right now lol there’s one that i want to post before they come back from hiatus so i’m hoping to focus on that one for now!! we’ll see!!

18. tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read: pretty sure everyone has been tagged already, but if you haven’t and you want to do it, then i’m tagging you <3

[kindahoping4forever]

Out of curiosity, what made you switch from a Cashton blog to an Ashton blog?

It wasn't really a conscious decision tbh, it just kind of worked out that way! Cal content has only become more and more scarce over the past year or so and once Superbloom was announced, Ash was posting every day for a while. I was already used to posting update content and since he's always been my main lane, I was more than happy to basically turn my blog into Superbloom central and I never really got out of that mode tbh 👀

[tinyglitterrose]

Masterlist of tinyglitterrose

last updated: October 5th 2022

❤️ Hi! ❤️ I don't use this masterlist anymore cuz I made a new updated one, which you can find here:

my masterlist

Lashton

I'll let you have it (Bottom Ashton, SMUT)

Luke is horny on tour and Ashton offers to let him take it out on him.

Princess? (Bottom Ashton, SMUT, Sequel to the Cashton story 'Clean Up)

Luke catches Ashton masturbating and shows him that he's better than Ashton's dildo.

The Colors On Your Back (Bottom Ashton, no actual smut)

Luke notices Ashton wears panties.

Wet Dream (Bottom Ashton, SMUT, fluff at the end)

Ashton has a wet dream and gets caught.

Mommy (Bottom Ashton, SMUT)

Ashton has a mommy kink and Luke finds out.

Through The Wall (Bottom Ashton, SMUT)

Ashton lets himself be taken by random men on weekends and Luke finds out by accidently becoming one of his customers.

Cashton

Clean Up (Bottom Ashton, SMUT)

Ashton is being stubborn, so Calum teaches him a lesson.

Mashton

Let Me See You (Self Hate, fluff)

Ashton is really insecure about his body and Michael wants to show him how much he loves him.

Luke

Second Choice (depressive thoughts)

Luke has a girlfriend and doesn't need his best friend anymore.

[allsassnoclass]

Hazel’s 2022 Writing Roundup

some of you may be thinking “but hazel, you just did a 2022 writing self-evaluation” well this is DIFFERENT this one is almost completely by the numbers and includes GRAPHS

a summary of my writing this year is under the cut!

Let’s start out easy.  How many fics did I write?  What was the fandom distribution?

11 5sos fics on AO3

2 1d fics on AO3

1 fic for the It movies on AO3

1 fic for Stranger Things on AO3

1 fic for High School Musical: The Musical: The Series on AO3

1 fic for Cobra Kai on AO3

13 ask box prompts right here on tumblr (all for 5sos)

Here’s a handy little pie chart:

As you can clearly see, 5sos still totally dominated my writing year.  I assume this will continue, although it could possibly even out slightly next year depending on how much cobra kai retains its claws in me and if I expand into any other fandoms.

Total word count: 147,702  wahoo!  That’s more words than Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austin or One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Main pairing distribution (for the 5sos ones)(friendship fics are counted under the overarching pairing, as it focuses on those two (or four) characters)

Cake: 2

Cashton: 5

Lashton: 1

Malum: 2

Mashton: 10

Muke: 2

OT4: 1

Roylum: 1

I think it’s no surprise that mashton is by far my favored pairing, but i’m surprised that cashton had so many fics when malum and lashton did not, as previously I favored those two pairings a lot and I would say cashton is tied for my third or fourth favorite pairing, rather than above either of those.  In fact, the fact that lashton has less than cake (who i historically do not write) is very surprising.  it looks like i should step up my lashton game a bit next year, although I have to confess that I don’t have any strong ideas for them right now (besides unmute, which constantly haunts me).  I also only got 1 lashton prompt request this year  out of the 15 total i received, which definitely impacted how much I wrote them.

Here’s a little pie chart, to fully show just how much mashton dominates my writing:

For ao3 ratings, I had 15 teen, 1 for general audiences, and 1 mature fic.  All of my ask box prompts are rated teen as a general rule

For my 5sos writings I wrote:

10 fics or ask box prompts that I had the ideas for or received before 2022

10 fics or ask box prompts that I had the ideas for or received during 2022

One of the ones from before 2022 has not been posted, as it’s chapter 6 of an ongoing work.  There is another fic from 2022 that is complete that I’ve been holding on to until the right now.

I started keeping track of all of my ideas and when I got them (or received the prompt for them) this year because I was curious to see how many of my fics were new ideas or not, and I’m honestly surprised that it’s so even!  I’m not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn’t that.  Looking at which specific fics got completed, only one of the 2022 ideas that I posted was an AO3 fic (when i watch the world burn).  The other 9 were ask box prompts from my follower milestone celebration.

I added 30 ideas to my 5sos ideas doc in 2022!

For word count, all of my AO3 fics are somewhere between 1,395 and 50,140.  pas de deux (the 50,140 word fic) is the longest fic I’ve ever written by over 20,000 words!  I will likely not stop talking about it any time soon lol.  It is also my favorite fic of the year, as it includes ballet, minnesota, and hotei within his sack, which are all things that I love dearly.

Looking ahead, what does the future of hazel fic hold?  I have no idea!  We’re playing it completely by ear.  Hopefully, it’s enjoyable for everyone involved.  If you’ve read this far, I am giving you my affection

[igarbagecannoteven]

Hi Megs!! It’s so cute that u set this ask list over a year ago!! If u still wanna tame asks id love to know 1, 7, 9 & 17 pls ♥️

hiya annie! i *am* pretty cute thanks for noticing 😌 skdjflksjd anyhow thx for sending these in!

.1. what fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (in other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?) ooo good question! i think i'd probably suggest what if i'm weak (and i need you tonight?) just bc i think it's pretty structurally similar to most of my other fics (relatively short, takes place over the course of one scene, dialogue heavy, small cast, pretty specific au) plus i just really love it!

7. any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of? i really love the world that fear the fever takes place in! i've always had lots of thoughts about how our modern world would look if werewolves and vampires just happened to be a part of it while still preserving the lack of control that is featured in a lot of werewolf/vampire stories and i think i represented it rather well in a relatively short fic. i love it so much that i'm really hoping to return to this world with a longer sequel fic at some point or another, but we'll see how long that will take 😅

9. how do you find new fic to read? usually i go to the fandom tag and just start filtering out things like crazy (like ships, tags, ratings, etc that i don't like) and then i normally sort them either by word count or by title and start jumping around the search that way (i really try not to fall into the recency bias that's seen in a lot of fandoms and a helpful way to do that is to sort it not by date and not by kudos or bookmarks or whatever so that way the less popular fics get a fighting chance lol) i also read fics by people i'm subscribed to on ao3 and sometimes ones that are recommended to me

17. what highly specific au do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it? i mean, i love writing ridiculous aus that appeal to very few people, especially my weird half crack, half really gritty cassette futurist sci-fi au that will be getting more installments as per the unpopular demand, but there are some other pretty out there ideas that i'm dying to write! i have an almost finished arrival (2016) cashton au that is uh. super depressing and weird but is going to be so, so good when i'm done with it i swear lol. i would also commit crimes for a well done hotel california songfic au; i've got some loose ideas in my head (that would include a baby blue songfic prequel) but i don't think it'll ever actually get done so instead i'll just have to daydream about it 😔

ask me questions for fic writers!

[calumsash]

2022 Writing Evaluation

thank you for my amazing friend taylor @jbhmalumm for tagging me in this!!! i totally forgot i wrote (even if it's been like half a year yikes) and can actually be tagged in those things so im excited <333

1. number of stories posted on ao3: a whole 3 fics!

2. word count posted for this year: 17,741 words!!

3. fandoms i wrote for: 5sos

4. pairings: romantic: cashton (2) & mashlum (1) / platonic: malum (1) & cake (1)

5. story with the most kudos/bookmarks/comments: all three of these categories go to three that's the magic number <3

6. work i’m most proud of (and why): im proud of all of them! just the fact that i actually sat down this year and wrote something AND posted it?!!?!!!! i think that's something to be proud of!

7. work i’m least proud of (and why): i love all my kids!

8. share or describe a favorite review you received: ok so there's this comment @ghost-of-you left on my mashlum fic that just said "I don't think I've ever laughed this much at a fic before. This awesome." and i remember smiling and thinking about that comment all day so thank you anna <3

9. a time when writing was really, really hard: idk a lot of times i found myself really frustrated that i couldn't just sit down and write 5k in a sitting, or i was feeling i wasn't getting the tone right and then tried to compare myself to others? but once i let that go, stopped looking at other fics and just setting myself smaller goals i think made the difference!!

10. a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: the ending scene of malum in the daylight fic!!!! when i started to write that scene i totally planned for it to go in a different direction, a much more funny way (michael finding out calum is a vampire because he found him drinking blood smoothies lol), but as i was writing it the words just flew into a more angsty approach and i liked it so!!! it stayed <3

11. a favorite excerpt of your writing: i still think the delivery of “I need to know, who came first? The chicken or the egg?" and the response after it was incredible on my part <3

12. how did you grow as a writer this year? actually finishing a fic and posting it!

13. how do you hope to grow next year? honestly just hoping to set little goals and maybe write some more, maybe try other fandoms and see how i do!

14. who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc)? just gonna go ahead and tag my wonderful friends @myfalsedevotion @jbhmalumm @lukemichaelcalumashton @daydadahlias @merry-the-cookie @calumthoodshands because you guys hyped me up when i started writing and when i sent you screenshots as i progressed and gave me encouraging words!!!! i probably wouldn't have had the guts to post without you <3

15. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year? oh yeah i totally thought capybaras were called chupacabras SORRY AJSHDHSJ (from the halloween fic)

16. any new wisdom you can share with other writers? literally just write for yourself! i can't even count the amount of times i reread my own fics because it's exactly to my taste!!

17. any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year? there's a song fic i wrote for cashton that is mostly done that i do wish to finish at some point!!!! also coach calum fic would be amazing if i ever finish it so hopefully that!!!! plus not 5sos but i have this idea for a buddie (911) fic that haven't left my mind since i thought of it and im hoping maybe start and finish before they come back from the hiatus!!!

18. tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read: probably everyone have been tagged already so if you haven't already and wanna do it, count this as your sign <3

[littledrummeraussie]

hot pink.

general masterlist

word count: 869

Some cuteness with a sprinkle of sexual themes - aka Ashton gets his toenails painted. Part of the collection called capture the moment.

Feedback is appreciated!  ❤️  Taglist under the cut.

- - - - -

“You want some?” Ashton munched on a slice of tangerine, already peeling the next one as he snacked next to you.

You turned and opened your mouth, and he placed a new slice on your tongue, both of you giggling. It was one of those quiet mornings you’ve spent together in the woods, just lazing around as Ash worked on some music and you – well, you were the muse, so of course you needed to tag along.

Ashton watched as you painted another coat of nail polish onto your toenails, smiling at the way you concentrated on the task. You’ve been dying to finally pamper yourself and try out your new favourite colour (the nude pink shade hasn't left your mind for weeks), but you’ve been so busy that you needed to put it off until you could finally settle down for an uninterrupted hour to paint your nails. Now that it was only you and Ashton and the woods it was time to work your magic.

“Sto– stop poking me with your toe!” you huffed, pulling away as Ashton stretched his leg, reaching over to the other end of the couch to push at your knee. “You’re so weird.”

“You love me weird,” he laughed, putting another slice of fruit in his mouth.

“You’re gonna mess up my nail polish.”

“A tragedy, really,” he continued with another poke at your knee, and you swatted him away, making him giggle again. “Want another tangerine?”

“I want you to leave me alone so I can finish my nails,” you made sure to stick your tongue out at him and he mirrored you, scrunching his nose which made his glasses slip off a bit.

“They are gone anyway,” he shrugged, putting the bowl next to his mug and phone before reaching for his guitar. “Maybe I’ll write a song about them.”

“You really are turning into a hippie,” you finally laughed, taking in his colourful robe and long hair. “The Tragedy of Tangerines, huh?”

Ash laughed back, all playful teasing now turning into a moment of just being together. You went back to finish painting your nails while he picked at the strings, jotting down ideas into his notebook. It was about an hour later when Ashton put his feet in your lap, and you lightly tickled him, his skin sensitive to the little touches.

“Maybe I should paint your toes too,” you hummed, giggling as he started to wiggle them.

“Maybe you should.”

“I think I have something similar to one of those,” you pointed at his robe and the colours on it. “Let me check.”

A few minutes later you settled back in front of the couch, motioning for Ashton to stretch his legs out. He put them up on the side of the fire pit, then made a sound between a laugh and a choked cough as he saw the hot pink nail polish you’ve brought.

“Geez, woman, are you crazy?”

“Says the man in that robe,” you rolled your eyes, already pulling his foot closer to you. “Now you stay still.”

It was ridiculous, really, but it was still something you’ve shared as you made Ashton sit there, painting his toenails one by one with your chosen colour. After a few minutes he accepted his fate and pulled his guitar back into his lap, trying to make time go by faster, but still looking at you every few seconds as you worked.

He let out a giggle as you blew on his nails, carefully checking with the pad of your finger if the paint had dried. When you found that everything was as it should be you leaned forward and pressed a kiss against his ankle, almost as a fleeting thought.

“Did you just kiss my feet?” Ashton’s next laugh mixed with a groan, and you needed to roll your eyes again, poking him where you could reach him. “Gross.”

“I had other things in my mouth too… like, I had actual body parts of yours in my mouth,” you raised an eyebrow at him, making a blush and a flirty smile appear on his face. “That’s gross too.”

“Yet you still do it.”

“Are you complaining? I can definitely stop if you don’t like me sucking you off,” you shrugged nonchalantly, and Ash groaned again, reaching for you to pull you into his lap.

“That’s a terrible thing to say,” he squeezed you to his chest, and you let your hands slip under his robe, lightly caressing his warm skin.

“The Tragedy of the Blowjobs,” you teased your fingertips against his collarbones, tangling them into his necklace. “Sounds like a summer hit to me.”

“That’s another one of your bad jokes. They are just… bad,” he laughed, tugging you close to finally kiss you, and you nipped on his bottom lip, now working on the knot of his robe.

“Yet you still let me tell you them,” you finally pushed it off of his shoulders, melting against his body as he wrapped his arms back around you. “Guess that’s called love?”

“That definitely sounds like love,” he kissed your nose and your lips, adjusting you in his lap with a small moan. “Now, about those blowjobs…”

- - - - -

taglist.

@mymindwide​  @loveroflrh​  @sadistmichael​​  @notinthesameguey​  @talkfastromance4​  @dead-and-golden​  @fuckyeah5sostakemehome​  @karajaynetoday​  @myfavfanficsever​  @ashtonsunflower​​  @suchalonelysunflower​  @polycashton​​  @rebelwith0utacause​  @creampiecashton​  @irwinkitten​  @allthestarsandthemoon​  @castaway-cashton​  @mulletcal​  @wontlastimokwiththat​   @sunshineeashton​  @2fangirl4u​  @allofmycrimes​​  @pastelbabygirl19​  @youngblood199456​  @fanficsandotherthings​  @melanindarling​  @bubblegum18​  @wiiildflowerrr​  @cxddlyash​  @sunshineeeluke​​  @itjustkindahappenedreally​​ @brainstormingg​​

[lukemichaelcalumashton]

mating call

pairing: Luke/suffering because of his horny friends (yes you read that right), calum hood/ashton irwin

rating: t

word count: 7,719

summary:

Michael looks at Luke and snorts, lowering his headphones so they’re hanging on his neck. “You still have glitter on your face.”

“Well, I had to run out of there before I was done because Calum decided to touch Ashton’s dick!" Luke complains and Michael sniggers. “You knew, didn’t you? That’s why you ran out.” He nods at Luke. “And you didn't warn me!”

“Come on, mate, you heard Calum laugh, that’s the laugh!”

Luke draws his eyebrows together. “The what?”

“You know,” Michael starts before switching to a high-pitched voice that’s supposed to sound like Calum. “Calum’s you’re so funny Ash, please fuck me laugh.”

“That’s not- that can’t be a thing!”

Or 5 times Luke gets the laugh wrong + 1 time he finally gets it right

Main tags: Luke's POV, Sexual Humor, Implied/Referenced Sex, Cashton are horny idiots, Luke suffers because of it

a/n: remember when maya @calumsash made this joke about cal laughing way too hard at everything ashton does even if it’s not that funny? somehow that led to this fic. it’s as close to a crack fic as i’ll ever get BUT it was fun to write! don’t take this too seriously okay, i definitely didn’t sksdfkds

[kindahoping4forever]

I Don’t Wanna Spend One More Christmas Without You // Poly!Cashton

@cal-puddies​​ and I want to thank everyone who read/liked/reblogged/left us feedback during our Hoe For The Hoe-lidays event. We keep saying we can’t believe we pulled this off: between our 10 solo fics and this co-write, we posted over 30k words this week! I’m proud of not only that impressive feat but also the work we produced, these have been some of my favorite pieces in recent memory.

We knew we wanted to close out with a Galaxybrain co-write but we weren’t sure which of our lanes to feed. We figured, hey it’s the season of giving: why not both? 😏 In true Cass & Crystal fashion, this started out with us just being thirsty (we wrote the smut first lmao) but ended up being super heartfelt and emotional? Please be sure and let us know what you think, we couldn’t be prouder of this one!

Warnings: Reader x Calum, Reader x Ashton, Calum x Ashton; a relatively new throuple trying to figure out how to express their feelings for one another, filth but make it fluffy, unprotected sex within a triad relationship, oral sex performed on both a male and a female, manual stimulation of both a male and a female, cum play 

Word Count: 9150

Cass & Crystal’s Masterlist  // Hoe For The Hoe-lidays Masterlist

Let  us  know  what  you  think!

“Food’s here,” a voice quietly announces with a rap on the door.

You turn to see Calum in your bedroom doorway, sheepishly mouthing ‘sorry’ when he realizes you’re on the phone. You step over to him and whisper, “I’m almost done, bub,” reassuring him with a quick peck on the lips.

A few minutes later, you follow the sounds of loud laughter and conversation to the living room; you smile when you see Ashton standing there, in the midst of an animated story while Cal sits on the couch, hanging on every word, laughing as if it’s the funniest thing he’s ever witnessed. You honestly wonder if maybe it is.

You bounce over behind Ash, throwing your arms around him, nuzzling his back; his leather jacket feels cold against your face so you assume he hasn’t been here long. “I didn’t know we were seeing you tonight,” you chirp.

He chuckles, slinging an arm around you. “I was texting with Cal when he was ordering dinner and it sounded good so I invited myself,” he explains, kissing your forehead.

“Bullshit, I absolutely invited you!” Cal insists, smiling eyes betraying his words of protest. You giggle at their banter and untangle yourself from Ash to serve yourself some dinner. Cal continues his teasing, “The food sounded good, just admit you missed us and move on.”

Ashton sits down on the couch next to Cal and nudges his knee tentatively with his own. “Of course I missed you,” he says simply. The two men exchange sweet, almost shy smiles and you feel your entire being light up with affection as you watch them.

It’d been four months since you and Ash had asked Calum to be a part of your relationship and while the three of you were still individually and collectively deciding exactly what all that means, you were happy and that’s all that mattered to you.

In the year and a half you were with Ashton, it was as intense and meaningful a relationship as you’d ever had - but it was never quite right and you’d split up a handful of times. During one of your “breaks” last year, a friend of a friend suggested that Cal might be the answer to your search for a new roommate. You met for coffee one day and immediately hit it off; you’d be lying if you said you didn’t quickly develop feelings for him but more than anything at that point, you needed a friend and Cal was there for you when it really counted.

It came as no surprise that when Ash started hanging around again, he bonded with Cal as instantly as you did and the three of you became inseparable. You and Ashton reconciled once again and couldn’t help but notice how much more communicative and at peace with each other you were with Calum around. It’s like he had been the missing piece all along, he made everything feel right - and you eventually told him as much.

Which is why you’re struggling so much with the bad news you have to deliver to your boyfriends. You sit on your living room floor, picking at your dinner, going over the dilemma in your mind for the 100th time, trying to find a different solution.

“Darlin’?” Cal’s gentle but firm voice shakes you out of your thoughts and you look up blankly. “Ash asked if you wanted another soda.”

You blink a few times, as if that will reset your mind and bring clarity. “Oh. No thank you, love, I’m good!” You call out towards the kitchen.

“You feelin’ OK?” Cal asks, reaching across the coffee table to stroke your arm. “We’ve been talking about this food all day and you’ve barely touched it.”

You look into his dark eyes, full of care and concern and know you have to be honest with him. “I need to talk to you both about Christmas… it’s not great,” you admit.

Ashton searches your face as he sits back down. “Is your mom alright?” He gently asks, remembering a health scare your family was dealing with when he went home with you last winter.

You offer him a faint, loving smile. “Everyone’s fine… great, even. Uh… my sister is getting engaged,” you share, chewing your lip.

“Oh! ...Oh,” he responds, starting to understand the issue.

Calum looks between the two of you, baffled. “I don’t understand, why is that bad? I thought we liked her boyfriend?”

“We do,” you start, carefully. “It’s just… With this news in mind, I don’t know if it’s really the right time to tell everyone about our relationship now.” You can’t bring yourself to look in Cal’s eyes yet, not wanting to see if he’s as hurt as you fear he may be.

He sits back on the couch, trying to process. “I thought you said your parents would be super understanding and chill about us?”

Ash sees you struggling to find the words so he tries to help. “They would be. They will be,” he reassures Cal with a warm smile. “I think the concern is that an engagement might seem kind of mundane compared to an announcement like ours. What’s more exciting than a daughter bringing home one son in law? How about the other daughter bringing home two?”

“They’d spend the whole time doting on us, making sure we’re comfortable, Facebooking all the extended family who’s coming to visit to make sure no one says anything that might offend us… her moment would get totally overshadowed,” you explain. “And I’d hate that, this is a big deal, she deserves to be The Story.”

Calum listens intently, nodding. You finally catch his gaze and are relieved to see nothing but understanding and compassion on his face. “OK. Well, wouldn't it be better if I just didn’t go at all then?” He offers sincerely.

Your exclamation of “Bubba, no!” blends with Ashton’s soft sigh of “Cal…” and you all have to laugh at the outburst.

"That's not me trying to be dramatic or anything, I just don't want to cause any trouble," he shrugs.

You scoot around to come sit next to the couch. "I've really been looking forward to us spending our first Christmas together," you insist, squeezing Cal's knee. "If you're uncomfortable with coming under these circumstances, I understand but for what it's worth, I would like you there."

Ash places his hand on top of yours, reassuring Calum as well. "The family's already expecting you, just as a roommate," he points out. "Plus… trying to keep our secret could be kind of fun." He winks at Cal, who can't resist breaking into a wide grin.

Your “fun” holiday couldn’t be off to a worse start the next morning when Ashton arrives bright and early to pick you and Cal up only to find you still in your pajamas, rushing to finish getting your bags together. After a few minutes of Ash stomping around, huffing about getting a late start, Cal, peacemaker that he is, offers to help him pack the car while you finish up.

You meet them in the driveway a few minutes later, dragging your suitcase behind you. Ash promptly snatches it away from you without a word and you glare at him fiercely.

Calum appears at your side and holds you by the waist. “You can’t blame him for being irritated,” he says quietly, rubbing your arm. “You knew what time he was coming, you should have been packed.”

“Yeah… but,” you start.

Cal is already shaking his head. “No, darlin’, there’s no excuse. We had a plan, you should have been ready.”

“See!” Ashton says, coming up beside the two of you.

“Well, you don’t get to gloat, babe, you could have handled it better,” Cal chides.

“I don’t like it when you don’t pick sides,” Ash says, coming over to peck Cal’s cheek. He presses his lips to the top of your head. “I’m sorry I was a grouch.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t ready and delayed us 15 whole minutes,” you reply.

Cal pinches your hip. “Passive aggressive much?”

Ash shrugs at you. “It’s coming out of your breakfast time. It’s a 6 hour drive, love.”

“I’m aware, love,” you fire back, helping yourself into the back seat. He sighs as you pull the hood up on your sweatshirt and stuff your hands in the pocket.

Ash huffs as he shuts your door. Cal gently grabs his arm. “Give her a few minutes. We’ll make breakfast quick, coffee and bagels; smother hers in cream cheese, get some caffeine in her and she’ll forgive you,” he reassures.

His prediction is spot on and by the time you’re halfway through your cup of coffee, you’re leaning into the front seat to run your fingers through both of your boyfriends’ hair. “I’m so glad I get to take you both home with me,” you say warmly. “I’m sorry it can’t be exactly what we wanted, but I know it’ll still be special, because we’ll be together.”

The rest of the drive goes smoothly and when you arrive at your parents’ house, the family is waiting at the door for you; after introducing Calum, you’re immediately whisked away by your sister, gushing about the recent trip her boyfriend took her on for their anniversary. You listen quietly and hope your smile doesn’t give anything away, you love that she has no idea what’s coming in a few days.

Your dad loves Ashton and couldn’t be more thrilled that you brought him home again; he offers to help him unload the car and makes a big show of pointing out how similar their leather jackets are, going so far as to make a “like father, like son” joke.

You sneak a few apologetic glances over at Calum, who you hope isn’t feeling too left out in his role of “your roommate” as he makes small talk with your sister’s boyfriend. You feel endlessly grateful for your mother when you see her sit down and start showing Cal all the gourmet vegetarian recipes she’s bookmarked on her iPad, asking what he’d prefer for Christmas dinner; she’s clearly charmed by his shyly polite responses and you fight the urge to go over and kiss over his squishy, crinkly face as her attention continues to make him more smiley and flustered.

While your mom and sister set the table for dinner, your dad and Ash carry the luggage to your respective rooms for you to get settled; you take advantage of the opportunity to break away and check in with Cal, under the guise of showing him the trick to operating the shower in the guest bathroom.

You turn the overhead fan on to help drown out your conversation. “You doin’ OK, bub?” You ask, massaging his shoulders.

He squeezes your hip. “It was hard at first but your mom’s sweet,” he gives you a sad smile. “Guess I didn’t realize how weird it’d be to see you and Ash act like a couple again, since I’m used to seeing you be… whatever we are.”

“The best thing that’s ever happened to me, that’s what we are,” you easily respond, drawing him in for a quick, soft kiss.

He holds you by the hips, resting his forehead to yours. “Thank you,” he murmurs. “You better get out of here before people get suspicious.” He presses his lips to your forehead and you step out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind you.

You spend the next few days trying to make sure Calum doesn’t feel left out. Your dad invites him to join some of the “future son in law” activities he’d planned but Cal is easily swayed to stay with your mom and help around the house. His height and muscle mass are highly desired for decorating or carrying in groceries and he’s so sweet and well-mannered, your mom is just tickled to have him around. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think she had a crush on him.

The day before Christmas Eve, Cal agrees to join the men for lunch and last minute shopping; your mom encouraged him to go because she wanted to make a secret shopping trip with you so you could pick out a few gifts for the family to give him so he didn’t get left out.

From what Ashton tells you when they return, the outing seemed to go well; you chatted with Cal a little that evening and he seemed to be in good spirits, happy with how things had turned out. But you can still sense him needing the affection you haven’t been able to provide; aside from a stolen kiss here and there, you’d barely touched him since you arrived and he and Ash had been keeping their distance so as not to raise eyebrows. What weighs on you most is knowing Calum hadn’t slept alone since the three of you became the three of you and you can see it wearing on him.

Ashton climbs in bed next to you. “Love… who’re you texting?” He asks, already knowing the answer.

“I just want to make sure he’s OK,” you say sheepishly.

“He’s fine, love,” he murmurs, kissing your cheek, then letting his lips trail down to your neck. “You’ve said he’s had fun with you and your mom and I saw him have a great day today. He’s good… now, me on the other hand? I could use some attention.” His lips firmly attach to your jaw and he’s practically laid himself on top of you, hovering.

You giggle at his lack of subtlety. “When do you not want attention?” You tease, pulling him into a hungry kiss. “I’ve been missing you too, Ash. I’m sorry I haven’t been here for you much, I’ve just been worried about how Cal’s handling things and I love my family but being around them is kind of draining…”

He cuts you off with a sweet kiss. “I know, baby… ‘s why I thought we could use a little stress relief,” he flirts, leaning in to mouth at that spot behind your ear that makes you crazy.

You hum with interest and brush his hair off his forehead. “We’d have to be quiet, we can’t have another incident like last year,” you say with a smirk.

Ash pulls back to playfully glare at you. “We’ve gone over this, technically that noise I made was your fault. If you hadn’t done that thing with your tongue, I wouldn’t have cum so suddenly and the incident would’ve been avoided,” he argues, tickling your side.

You try fighting him off to no avail. “My sister did think it was pretty funny… after the initial horror wore off,” you giggle, batting at his hands, trying to get him to let up.

After another minute or so of play fighting, you “win” by wrapping your legs around Ashton’s body and using them to draw him back over you. He kisses you with a little more emotion behind it than last time, pulling away to whisper, “I’m very happy I get to be here with you.” Your stomach flips at his sincerity and you wrap your arms around his neck, letting your kisses tell him how much you appreciate him.

Things start to heat up and Ash’s hands slide up your sweatshirt and over your hips; his hands are slow to tease you the way they usually do and when you rock against him, you’re slightly surprised you don’t feel him straining against his sweatpants yet. Your fingers travel under his long sleeve tee and dance over his abs to meet his waistband. You’re just about to dip your hand in when he stops you.

“Does this feel weird to you? This feels weird to me,” he sighs, flopping over onto his back beside you. He runs his hand through his long, dark hair, distressed. “Why does this feel weird to me?”

You roll onto your side, curling up next to him. “Well… we haven’t been intimate together, just the two of us, since Cal happened,” you say gently, stroking softly at his chest. “Do you think maybe you miss him being with us?”

“Yeahhhhh, I think so…” He lets out a long exhale, playing with your hand on him. “I just… it’s silly, you and me had sex a million times before we met him and now… I pull away from you and expect to see his eyes smiling at me while he kisses your shoulders. Expect to feel your skin already warm from his touch… expect to feel him warm next to me. Want it, even.”

“Ash,” you pout, touched by how he’s opening up to you, how open he’s being with himself about his feelings for Calum. “It’s not silly, you care about him. It’s not that you and I are suddenly uncomfortable with each other, it’s just that we’re used to more than this now. Need it, even.”

You rest your head on his chest and lay together, quiet and understanding while you both evaluate your feelings. After a while, you decide to lighten the mood, lifting your head up to tease, “A million times, eh?”

Ashton laughs loudly, clamping his hand over his mouth to muffle the noise. A beat passes and he meets your eyes for the first time since this conversation started, giving you an almost shy smile. “Think we could slip him in here undetected?”

You grin at him as you reach for your phone. “I don’t think the three of us would be able to keep it down, so no funny business,” you warn, texting your boyfriend. “But at the very least, we’ll get some alone time, even for a few minutes.”

Ash gets up and cracks the door, waiting for Cal to make his way down the hall; when he appears in the doorway, you see Ashton’s shoulders instantly relax. He gently closes the door behind him and wraps Calum in a tight, warm embrace; you can’t tell what Ash murmurs in his ear but whatever it is, it casts a soft, lovestruck glow across Cal’s features when he hears it.

His eyes meet yours and you open your arms wide. “Come lay with us, bubba,” you invite him.

“But…” He motions to the door, looking unsure.

Ash shrugs, “We can say we’re watching a movie.” He rests his chin on Cal’s shoulder from behind. “What do you say, babe? We miss you.”

Calum relaxes, gently reaching up to scratch at Ash’s scruff. He moves toward the bed but clearly doesn’t know what to do.

“Lay next to me, bub!” You smile, patting the bed next to you.

Ash lets a soft smile cross his face. “Why don’t you get in the middle?” He suggests.

Cal lays next to you and you instantly snuggle into him, throwing your arm across his body while Ash settles in on his other side. Cal wraps his arm around you and kisses your forehead; you look up with a pout and he presses his lips to yours. He pulls away from you when he feels Ashton nuzzle his cheek; Ash looks at him lovingly and gently plants a chaste kiss on his lips.

“Thought we were cuddling, lovers,” Cal whispers against his mouth.

“We are… just wanted to give you affection too,” Ash murmurs.

The three of you lay quietly for a while, Ash’s head next to Cal’s on the pillow and you draped across Cal’s body. His arm is tight around your back while he and Ash shyly play with each other’s fingers.

Ash looks over at you and you watch as his eyes take you in. “Our girlfriend sure is beautiful, isn’t she, Cal?” He whispers, lips gently pressing to Cal’s jaw.

“Gorgeous,” he agrees, turning his eyes to you, sweeping your hair back. Ash leans in to you first for a kiss, with Cal wanting one right after. You sigh, scooting up so you can rest your head in the crook of Cal’s neck, and let yourself drift to sleep. Calum knows immediately, he’s felt your even breath on his neck many times.

“She sleeps so easy with you,” Ash comments, brushing his fingers against Cal’s for the umpteenth time. Cal finally laces his fingers with Ashton’s, looking over at him. They stare at each other for a few moments before Ash speaks again. “I’m so glad you decided to come with us after all… I know it’s not perfect and not what we talked about, but I don’t think either of us would enjoy this without you.”

“I’m really happy to be here,” Cal responds quietly, squeezing Ash’s hand and your sleeping body gently. “I was definitely missing all of this though... thanks for bringing me in tonight.”

“We needed you,” Ash confesses, a faint blush coloring his cheeks. “Weird when you're not here now.”

Calum turns his face toward Ashton’s, nuzzling in and enjoying the warmth of his boyfriend, his rough hand wrapped with his; he grins against Ash’s cheek and Ash responds with a kiss to his forehead.

Cal stays, wrapped in the both of you, for another 45 minutes before the men agree it’s time to call it a night. He tries his best not to wake you as he slips out of bed but he fails, leading to an extra 15 minutes of your soft whines and insistence that he stay. He finally leaves you with a passionate kiss and a kiss on the cheek for Ash.

The next day, Christmas Eve, goes by fast. Various family and friends are in and out of the house all day, stopping by to share their holiday greetings. Continuing your family’s tradition, the men head out in the afternoon to pick out and haul home a Christmas tree and after dinner, you all decorate it together.

Like you’ve done since you were kids, the lights in the living room get turned off for a dramatic “reveal” of the lit and decorated tree when you’re all finished. The multi-colored lights get plugged in and brighten up the room, illuminating your sister’s boyfriend down on one knee. You squeeze Ashton’s hand and subtly brush your pinky down the back of Calum’s hand. Her “moment” is perfect and you silently thank your boyfriends with your eyes for understanding why you wanted this for her.

After some dessert and celebratory cocktails, everyone is exhausted but happy to be together. Your dad gets a fire going and your sister puts on the old Rudolph special you loved as kids; you plop yourself in Ashton's lap on the couch, with Cal sitting close by, close enough for you to keep throwing him little glances undetected. You know it must’ve been hard for him to go back to bed alone after the time you spent together last night and even harder today, having to watch you and Ash continually couple up and be gushed over by your holiday visitors.

Halfway through the show, your dad starts snoring so Mom decides it’s time for them to head up to bed. Your sister and her fiancée make it through to the end of the show but when you suggest following it up with Frosty The Snowman, they decline and tell you and the guys goodnight.

After such a long day, filled with so much unspoken emotion, it's surprising how quiet the three of you are now that you're alone. Sitting with your men in a room lit only by the warm glow of the fire and the soft colored lights of the tree - this was the type of scene you imagined when you envisioned your first Christmas together. But the feeling's not quite right.

You peck Ashton on the cheek before sliding off his lap, moving to sit on the other side of Calum, putting him in the middle of you and Ash. You run a hand through his hair, tentatively at first, just in case everyone in the house isn't quite settled yet. "How are you, bub?" You ask softly.

He closes his eyes, leaning into your touch and you feel your heart both swell and break a little at how badly he was clearly needing your affection. "Good. Tired. Happy I can finally do this," he replies, leaning in to give you a short but needy kiss.

When he pulls back, he grabs your hand out of his hair and brings it up to his lips for a kiss; he waits a beat then reaches for Ash’s hand and kisses it as well. “Missed you too, bub,” you murmur with a smile.  

Ash looks at both of you, adoration in his eyes. You recognize that look on his face, the one that means he’s searching for the right words, trying to line up his emotions with his nervous tongue.  

You squeeze his other hand that’s resting on the back of the couch behind Cal, sensing he needs encouragement and he glances at you, grateful.

"We both missed you, Cal,” he starts, shaking his head as he decides to go all in. “I’ve missed you, is what I mean actually. Not being able to have you close the past few days has me realizing how much closer I would like you to be."

He cups Cal’s face, stroking gently with his thumb while he waits for his words to sink in and his nerves to settle. He inches forward and gently kisses him; it’s brief but Ash is purposeful in the way their lips slot together. When he gets bold and slips in his tongue, Cal visibly tenses and Ash pulls away gracefully, not wanting to push.

You stop yourself from obviously reacting but your heart feels like it might burst out of your chest. You've watched them both struggle to navigate their feelings for each other over the past four months and you couldn't be happier to see at least Ashton take a step towards clarity. You gently rest your palm on top of their intertwined hands and squeeze twice; a supportive one for Ash and a reassuring one for Cal.

Cal, dazed, turns to look at you briefly before his eyes briefly widen as if a light bulb has gone off. He grabs Ash’s neck to pull him in for another kiss, this one more desperate, with daring tongue and teeth.

You quietly pull your hand off theirs, not wanting to intrude on the intimacy of their moment. You can't deny that witnessing their hunger for each other has you feeling needy yourself but you know how important this exploration is for them, how important it is for the three of you, so you patiently sit and watch.

They eventually pull away from each other, panting. You see them exchange a look of some sort and then Calum is reaching for you; he kisses you feverishly while lifting you over his lap and fitting you in between him and Ash. His lips move down to your neck and suddenly Ashton's tongue is slowly tangling with yours; you can tell by his kiss he's still in his feelings and you do your best to match his energy, letting him know you're there for him.

You break apart, one of your hands in each of your boyfriends' hair. You all look back and forth between each other and quietly laugh, ecstatic to be alone together and ready to take advantage of this opportunity.

Ashton gives you another lingering kiss, massaging your breast over your sweater before pulling away and immediately drawing Calum in for a kiss; they sit up on their knees, making out over you and you watch how they lose themselves in it, yet keep their hands occupied in each other's hair, almost as if they're unsure if they should go further. They each let out a quiet groan and you note the tents forming in both of their pants; you decide to help them out and reach to palm their straining cocks while they kiss.

It surprises Ashton more than Cal; he stops their kiss to look down at you. He runs a hand over your face and smiles at you briefly before his mouth is back on Cal’s.

You turn toward Calum, gently lifting his shirt and kissing on his stomach. He lets out an appreciative moan for your touch and you take that cue to unzip his pants; he eagerly cooperates in helping you pull him out of his boxers.

“Oh god,” he moans against Ash’s mouth as you use yours to slick him up before stroking your hand over his now wet cock. You’ve missed him: his sounds, his taste, the way he feels against your skin, the way he appreciates you and the attention you give him. You press sloppy kisses to his length, grinning to yourself as precum beads at his tip, moving to kitten lick at it.

Ashton gently tugs on your hair, wanting attention for himself. You continue rubbing over his bulge, adding in a few squeezes, buying yourself a little more time with Calum. You finally pull off and look up at your boyfriends, still lost in each other, though Cal steals a glance down at you while Ash’s lips are pressed to his jaw. He gives you a little grin and pushes his hand under Ash’s shirt.

You notice Ash falter for a second in reaction to Cal touching him that way but he quickly recovers from his hesitation, moaning quietly and tucking a hand in your hair. You pull at the button on his pants, taking his cock out and slicking him up as well; you swirl your tongue around the head, enjoying the soft groans you hear coming from him, thrilled that you're not sure if they're being caused by you or Cal. You notice that his hand has left you and has begun unbuttoning Cal's shirt; Calum reaches down and yanks at the shoulder of your sweater, gesturing for you to take it off.

Ash quietly sighs at the loss of your mouth but is quickly distracted by kissing over Cal's now exposed chest; you pull your sweater over your head and tug your leggings down while you're at it, leaving you in your bra and panties. You give a small whimper of relief as you press your thighs together before reaching for the cocks on either side of you, shiny and red, begging for your attention. You stroke them both evenly and firmly, watching with pride as their expressions change in response to your actions.

Calum is the first to glance at you and notice your new state of undress. "Fuck, darlin', look at you," he rasps, leaning down to kiss you, sneaking his fingers inside your bra to play with a nipple. "Look so pretty under all these lights." Cal smiles against your lips as he feels Ash's hand stroke through his hair while he kisses you.

Ashton pulls his own shirt off and then his hand snakes between your legs, tracing over the front of the lacy, damp material. "Mmm, so wet for us, baby,” he teases lowly, dipping his fingers underneath your panties to tap lightly at your clit. “Think you’ll be able to keep quiet if we decide to do anything about it?” Cal groans as he sucks just below your earlobe; he loves how responsive you are when Ash taunts you like this.

Proving his point, you let out a whine before quickly biting your lip to fight back any other sounds that might come out. Ash chuckles, suddenly rubbing hard and fast at your clit just to see how much restraint you have. You screw your eyes shut, determined to remain silent. “You’re one to talk, most of the noises I’ve heard tonight have come from your mouth, love,” you point out once you catch your breath. You squeeze his cock and he breathes out a deep moan, proving your point.

Cal chuckles at the exchange and Ash shoots him a glare, pulling him back over to him. “Laugh it up,” he smirks, kissing his neck to distract from his hand traveling to thumb over Cal’s nipple; Cal loudly gasps, body rigidly jolting like he’s been struck by lightning. He grabs Ash’s face with both hands and muffles his moans with an intense kiss.

You turn your focus back to Ash’s cock, knowing Calum is already dealing with a lot of stimulation from the nipple play. You bob your mouth on him a couple times, just because you feel like it and then work on building a steady rhythm with your hand. You bite back another moan when Cal’s hand moves down to cover yours, essentially helping you jerk Ashton off.

Despite their obvious attraction, your boyfriends have never gone beyond the occasional kiss during sex with you so tonight had already been a big step for them. You look up and see Cal, Ash’s lips firmly attached to his neck, looking curious but confident as he watches his hand move with yours. Your eyes meet and you nod, understanding; you drop your hand from Ash’s cock, leaning back to watch Cal seamlessly take over, continuing with the rhythm you started.

Ashton immediately reacts to the difference in touch: the unknown grip, the new sensation of rough calluses running over his shaft, the unfamiliar feeling of a hand much larger than yours stroking him. “Cal,” he shakily breathes, pulling back to look at him.

“Is this alright?” Calum whispers, hoping the quietness of his voice will mask his nervousness.

Ash closes his eyes and leans his forehead against Cal’s, breathing deep, trying to ground himself, trying to process all the thoughts and emotions swirling in his brain right now.

“Don’t stop,” he states with certainty.

Cal’s hand swipes over the tip of Ashton’s cock, spreading around the precum he’s coaxed out, expertly keeping with the established rhythm. You watched Ash’s expression change from confusion to curiosity and now you see it switch to the confidence you’re used to seeing from him, especially in the bedroom; you see his hand fidgeting at his side moments before he clenches his jaw and reaches out to touch Calum’s cock. His strokes aren’t nearly as precise or measured as Cal’s are but his boyfriend doesn’t seem to mind; Cal lets out a throaty sigh of his name and you swear it’s the most erotic thing you’ve witnessed yet.

The men lock their mouths into another heated kiss while they continue to explore pleasuring each other; with them distracted, you slide yourself up and off the couch, moving down to the floor to give them some space and to give you some space to spread out and really enjoy the sight before you. You tug at your nipples like Cal would and slide your hand down your stomach and into your panties to swirl your clit like Ash would. You miss their touch but you’re more than happy to wait your turn for it this time.

Your eyes don’t leave them for a second as you make slow, careful work of pleasing yourself. You watch as Ash boldly tugs at Cal’s jeans, trying to pull them down more; he gets them just below his ass and his free hand grips it tightly. You let out a little moan and Ashton reaches his hand out for you, finally realizing you’re no longer between them.

They pull out of their own little world, searching for you. Calum spots you on the ground first. “What’re you doin’ down there, darlin’?” He teases, moving down next to you.

You press a quick kiss to his lips while he undoes your bra; he quickly moves his mouth down to your tits, lavishing your nipples with much needed attention. “Just enjoying the show,” you confess, looking directly at Ash.

Ash moves from the couch, grabbing a blanket to lay in front of the fireplace. He discards his jeans before beckoning the two of you over to join him. You both crawl over to the blanket and before you get settled, Ash helps your boyfriend out of the rest of his clothes. He wraps a hand around Calum’s cock; he pauses to look at you briefly and then back over to the beautiful man naked in front of him. His tongue darts out of his mouth and before any of you can process it, he’s licking the tip of Cal’s cock.

“Oh,” Cal moans, tucking his fingers into Ash’s hair. Ashton, feeling emboldened by that response, wraps his lips around the head, continuing to test the waters. “Yeah,” Cal mutters. “That… that’s good.”

Ash’s other hand pushes up your thigh and you interlace your fingers with his. You watch as he tests circling his tongue around the tip before pulling back to turn his attention to you. He pulls your panties down, kissing your thighs and up over your lips, letting his tongue spread them so he can tease your clit. He pulls up as Calum settles in next to him, wasting no time in getting his turn at flicking his tongue over your clit.

“Been so good for us, think it’s time we repay you,” Ash murmurs, kissing up to your hip. He watches you tangle your fingers in Cal’s hair and groans when you do the same to him. His hand travels down between your thighs and he pushes two fingers into you. “Cal’s tongue feel good for you?”

You bite your lip, trying to hold in a moan. “Yes, love.”

Cal continues working over your clit while his hand reaches up your body, giving attention to your nipples once again; Ashton’s fingers continue pumping inside you, mouth settled against your jaw, unceasingly affirming his and Cal’s affection for you.

“So patient tonight, love,” he whispers, mouthing along your neck, careful not to leave any marks. “Lettin’ me and Cal play while you’re over here so wet and needy.”

You take a deep breath, overwhelmed at all of the sudden attention. “Wanted it for you, could tell you both needed it,” you admit, digging your nails into Ash’s arm as Cal’s lips enclose your clit and start sucking. “Didn’t mind watching either.”

Ashton grins and plants a sloppy kiss on you; he pulls away to lean down and run his hand softly through Cal’s hair before pulling him up from between your legs to kiss him passionately. Both men groan at the realization that Ash can taste your arousal on Cal’s lips; Ashton takes it a step further and removes his hand from your pussy, sinking his drenched fingers into Calum’s mouth. Cal hollows his cheeks and sucks Ash’s fingers deep into his mouth, swirling his tongue around them, bobbing back and forth on them, wondering when he’ll get to give Ashton’s cock the same treatment.

For what feels like the hundredth time tonight, your jaw drops at the erotic sight before you and you reach out for one or both of your boyfriends to tend to you. Your head lolls back as you whine, “Please... babes… I need you so bad.”

Calum promptly pulls his mouth away with a lewd pop and lays on his side next to you. “Need you too, darlin’, you have no idea,” he murmurs as he grabs your hip, easily turning you to your side and slinging your leg over him. “Can’t remember the last time I went this long without having you.” He takes his cock in hand, running it up and down to coat it with your wetness before easing himself inside you, silencing your soft, relieved exhale with a kiss.

Cal softly rocks into you, sucking gently at your bottom lip, stroking your hair back with his hand; you feel Ashton lay down behind you and begin running his fingers down your back, quietly showing you his care while respecting the moment you and Cal are having, much like you respected their time together.

Your hand moves down to grab Cal’s ass, attempting to bring him even closer to you; you feel his muscles tensing and flexing under your hold as he pumps inside you and you bury your face in his chest to keep from crying out. You hear the slick sound of Ash’s hand working his cock as he watches you two together and you reach for him, wanting him near.

“I’m here, love,” he reassures you, nibbling at your ear, massaging over your breast. “You two look so fuckin’ good together, couldn’t help myself.” He extends his arm, reaching to squeeze Cal’s bicep.

Your hand searches behind you until it finds Ashton’s cock, throbbing against your ass; you give it a squeeze and he whimpers into your skin.

“Ash needin’ you too, baby?” Calum asks, voice scratchy with desire. “Know you’re gonna make him feel so good, just like you’re doin’ for me.” He gives you a couple more slow thrusts before he pulls out and helps you onto your other side where Ashton lays waiting.

You smile hazily at Ash as he lifts your leg over his hip and taps his cock against your clit. “So generous with your body, love,” he praises you, hissing as he slides into your wet heat. “Treatin’ us both so good tonight, thank you, baby.”

You caress his cheek as he starts slowly thrusting into you; you press your lips to his and you both lose yourselves in a slow, intimate kiss. Calum hangs back, watching you two communicate what you need to; when Ash breaks the kiss to moan into your mouth, Cal reaches over and begins to play with your breasts.

Ashton’s large hand grips your ass to pull you closer, getting a deeper angle that has you seeing stars. You twist your upper body toward Cal and he kisses you briefly before moving his lips back to your nipples. You push your hand down his body to find his cock, getting in a few strokes before he stops you. “Trust me, darlin’, I’m not needing any help right now.” His hand slips down your body to rub soft circles on your clit. “Let us focus on you.”

“Babes,” you sigh in the form of a soft moan, raspy as it leaves your lips. The sound is so sensual it causes Ash’s hips to lose rhythm and he lets go of your ass, giving a few shallow thrusts before pulling out.

“You gotta take Cal, baby, I need a minute,” he pants, clearly on the edge of losing it. He nuzzles his nose against yours, helping you turn back to your other boyfriend.

“Hey, darlin’,” Cal coos, grinning as he enters you again. You immediately pull him as close as possible.

“Want you both close,” you announce, looking over your shoulder at Ash. He scoots in against your back, kissing over your shoulders. You sigh, “Thank you.”

You give Ashton a short kiss before turning to press your face into Calum’s chest as he works his hips a little faster, harder. You feel a moan reverberating in Cal’s chest but it’s muffled when it spills from his lips; you look up to see him kissing Ash hungrily.

You moan, getting lost in your own world, letting Cal have your body, feeling his body on yours, Ashton’s body at your back, the strength in their frames as you lay between them.

Calum pulls out and turns you back towards Ash. Ashton is still breathing heavy and his kisses are needy, almost frantic, as he pushes into you. “I’m sorry, love, I’m s’close,” he chokes out. “Between you and Cal…”

You cut him off with a kiss. “Nothin’ to apologize for, love,” you murmur. “Want you to cum for me.”

His fingers dig in and hold on to your ass hard, pulling you tight against his body. “Cum for us, Ash,” Calum whispers as he slides his hand down to grip Ashton’s ass, causing Ash’s hips to stutter and jolt against you. You watch Ash pull on Cal’s neck so he can sink his teeth into Cal’s plump lower lip as he spills his cum into you, shuddering in your arms. You let out a loud moan and you all hold your breath waiting to see if it’s woken anyone up.

Once Ash comes down, he tenderly kisses you. “Love,” he murmurs. You give him a few more sweet kisses before you feel Calum’s eager fingers on your skin.

Ashton helps turn you around and his lips shower your shoulders and neck with affection as Cal sinks into you. He groans at the new sensation of Ash’s hot cum surrounding his cock, making you feel even more wet and warm to him.

Ash pushes his hand between your bodies and starts rubbing your clit in time with Cal’s thrusts. “It’s your turn, love, been so good and selfless tonight. Let Cal feel you cum,” he coaxes. “Look at you, look at Cal, look at how good you feel to our boyfriend.”

Cal’s eyes are screwed shut, his lip between his teeth as he tries to hold in any noises. “Calum,” you moan softly. His eyes open to find yours and you lean in for a feverish kiss, a kiss that becomes all tongue as you work your body against him.

Ashton mutters “Fuck” behind you and Cal lets out a guttural moan as you start to squeeze around his cock. You whine helplessly, “I’m cumming.”

“I feel that… let it go,” Cal encourages. You press your face into his chest to quiet yourself and without thinking you start biting and sucking his skin. Ash keeps rubbing your clit through your orgasm until you gently push his hand away, too sensitive to let him continue.

When Ash pulls his fingers up, it’s immediately noticeable they’re covered in both your arousal and his cum that leaked out of you. As soon as that registers to Calum, he grabs for Ash’s hand and takes his fingers into his mouth again, cleaning and sucking them like before. Once he’s done, Ashton takes the opportunity to explore a little more, pumping his fingers, treating Cal’s mouth like he does your pussy.

You shift yourself slightly back, leaning more into Ash so you can watch Calum come undone. You feel his hips continue to drive his cock into you as you watch the obscene way Ash fingers his mouth. You could almost cum again from the visual alone.

“Gonna cum for us, baby?” You breathe, out of your mind with desire. Cal glances at you with a question in his eyes but you answer it before he has a chance to ask. “It’s OK, I want you to.”

Ashton pulls his fingers from Cal’s mouth and pushes your bodies tighter together. He wraps his hand around the back of Cal’s neck, thumb caressing his cheek. “Need you to cum for us, handsome.” And that seems to do it for him. Cal’s hips falter and he clings to you, groaning deeply as he pumps you with cum. It’s the first time you’ve ever let him cum in you and it couldn’t feel more right. His body is tense for a few more moments and then he relaxes, first pressing his lips to yours and then to Ashton’s.

“You’re gonna make a mess,” he chuckles as he gently pulls out.

“We’ve got plenty we can clean her up with,” Ash shrugs.

Cal considers that point and sits up, lifting your thigh to watch in awe as his cum - at least he assumes it’s his - starts to leak out of you. “Incredible,” he murmurs, leaning in, pressing kisses along your thigh.

Ashton sits up to join him and his eyes ping pong back and forth between watching you drip and watching Cal’s reaction to it. He swirls his fingers in the cum that’s now pooling on your thigh. He pulls back a little, drawing your and Cal’s attention. You watch in shock as he pushes his fingers into his mouth, tasting all three of you together. He moans and repeats the action, only this time, pulling Calum in for a kiss, sharing the taste with him.

They break apart and the three of you smile at each other, basking in the intimacy of everything that’s just happened. Cal lays down next to you, stroking over your hair as Ash reaches for his shirt and cleans between your thighs. When he’s done, he curls up next to you and Cal kisses him and then you. “So lucky to have you both,” Cal murmurs.

“We’re the lucky ones,” Ash smiles, grabbing Cal’s hand, interlacing their fingers and letting them rest on your hip.

“I hate that you have to go to bed alone after this,” you pout, kissing on Calum’s jaw.

“I’ll be just fine, this was worth it. Thank you both,” he whispers sincerely. He squeezes Ash’s hand and kisses your forehead.

You’re practically asleep, warm and naked, feeling safe with your loves when they finally decide it’s time for bed. The guys quickly pull their clothes back on and help you into yours. Ash takes the blanket to the laundry room while you put out the fire and turn off the Christmas tree lights. You hold their hands as you navigate the dark house, pulling them up the stairs.

You stop at the guest room to say goodnight to Cal. “You should come to bed with us,” you whisper.

Calum smiles at you but shakes his head. “I think we’ve already pushed our luck quite a bit tonight, darlin’.” He looks to Ash for backup.

“Your sister got her perfect engagement, we pulled off the world’s quietest threesome… we should take the win,” Ashton chuckles quietly.

You pout but know they’re right. Cal pulls you into him by your hips and kisses you, slow but passionate. “Get to bed, darlin’.”

You walk to your room and stand in the doorway, waiting for Ashton. You smile as you watch your boyfriends flirt, easily the most comfortable they’ve ever been with each other. Ash actively reaches out to pull Cal into a kiss and you decide it’s a moment for them; you lay in bed and close your eyes, letting the memories of the evening wash over you, filling you with warmth and contentment.

Ashton quietly enters the room, unsure if you’re awake; you feel the bed shift as he climbs in and you turn over to gaze at him dreamily. “How you feelin’, love?” You ask, carefully, wanting to encourage him to share with you without seeming like you’re pressing.

He lays on his side and gives you a loving, appreciative look. “Happy. Excited. Very, very grateful to have someone like you by my side,” he reflects, gently tracing where your t-shirt has lifted to expose your hip. “I know it’s taken me a while to kind of figure out what I need from this relationship… even back when it was just us, honestly. You’ve just always been so patient and open with me and I hope I’ve made clear how much I appreciate that. And you.”

You scoot in closer, resting your head on his pillow, your face inches from his. “Even before Cal happened, I’ve only ever wanted you to be happy, Ash. With me, without me… with me with someone else…” You both giggle and you peck his lips sweetly. “I’m glad you’re finding your place in all this. And I’m happy to do whatever I can to help you find it.”

You know it takes a lot for Ashton to share with you like this and you savor it when it happens. You lay yourself on his chest and he strokes your hair as you quietly talk some more. You’re starting to drift off to sleep when you hear your phone buzz on the nightstand. You look up at Ash, concerned, before reaching for it.

“It’s Cal, asking if we’re awake?” You shrug, quickly responding that you are.

Seconds later, your bedroom door slowly opens and Calum carefully closes it behind him. Unlike the previous night, he doesn’t hesitate to help himself onto the bed and snuggle into your back, resting his hand on top of Ash’s on your hip.

“Couldn’t sleep. It just… I don’t know... didn’t feel right being without you both after that,” he explains, kissing your neck.

Light kisses and soft touches are exchanged between you all and then there’s a brief discussion about how long the cuddle session should be. You push to have Cal sleep in bed with you and Ash and though they’re reluctant at first, you eventually convince your boyfriends that the family will be none the wiser as long as you set an alarm to get him back to his room before everyone is up and around for Christmas morning.

Ashton untangles himself from you both to set both the alarm clock on the nightstand and the alarm on his phone, just to be safe. You turn towards Cal and peck his nose. “Feelin’ OK, bubba?”

He smiles, brushing your hair back. “Me? How are you? Tonight was kind of a lot. This week was kind of a lot, I feel like I haven’t checked in enough…”

“Bub, I’m so good,” you promise him, snuggling into his chest. “I’ve got you, I’ve got Ash… I get to wake up with you both on Christmas morning. It seems crazy to say but I actually think this all turned out perfectly.”

You feel Ash press himself tightly against your back, stretching his arms out to hug you both, sandwiching you between the two men. It’s sweet at first and then it quickly becomes silly and the three of you giggle quietly, giddy with exhaustion and affection.

“Plus, now everyone has an idea of what we're all like together so it won't come as too big of a shock when I post a picture of me kissing you both at midnight on New Year's Eve," you grin back and forth between the two.

Calum chuckles, "Oh is that the new plan?"

You wrap their arms tighter across you and contentedly say, "New year, new beginning. Let my sister have Christmas, New Year's will be ours."

Your words hang in the air as you all consider the weight of them. Ash breaks the silence by laughing to himself, causing both you and Cal to look at him with inquiry.

"Care to share?" You ask, using Cal's hand to playfully jab Ash's side, causing him to laugh more.

Ashton looks at you both and smirks, "I was just thinking… if tonight was Christmas sex at your family's house, the fuck are we gonna do to celebrate New Year's Eve at home?"

Calum snickers beside you, a naughty look on his face making you wonder what's running through his mind.

"Well," you start, playfully nipping under each of your boyfriends' jaws. "We've got a whole week to figure that out, now don't we?"

————-

Taglist issues again so my apologies if you get notif’d more than once (or not at all)

@mymindwide​​ @suchalonelysunflower​​​ @pxrxmoore​​ @loveroflrh​​ @ghostofmashton​​ @sexgodashton​​ @feliznavidaddycal​​  

@castaway-cashton​​ @ashtonlftv​​ @cashtonasfuck​​ @megz1985​​ @ashdork-irwin​​ @angelicfluffs​​ @findingliam-o​​ @youngbloodchild​​  @irwinsbetch​​ @everyscarisahealingplace​​

@wiildflower-xxx @metalandboybands  @realisticnotes  @makeamovehemmings @golden166​ @burstintocolor

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@lovelybonesetc​​​ @xsongxbirdx​​​ @justhereforcalum​​​   @ashtonangst​​

@laura66sos​​​ @calumrose​​​ @karajaynetoday​​​  @pilunb​​​ @jazzyangel242​​​ @babylon-corgis​​​  @heyheyhaleyd​​​ @calmsweetcreature​​​

@spicycal​​​ @talkfastromance4​​​  @holystxne​​​

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@irwindoll​​​ @cheekysos​​​ @carrielfisher​​​ @lukedorkyhemmings​​​ @creampiecashton​​​ @lovelywordsblog​​​

@trix-arent-for-kids​ @uh-huhh-honey​ @tobefalling​ @aladyofalbion​ @likehuhdude​

@curlycalums​​​  @cxddlyash​​​  @reddesert-healourblues​​​

@fedorable-killjoys​​​  @iamcalumswhore​​​   @i-like-5sos​​​  

@aquarius-hood1996​  @babylonashton​  @letmeadoreyoucalumx

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@crazyforcal​​   @neso-k​​   @deliciouslydisturbed365​​  @blxndeprincess​​

[daydadahlias]

you write cashton so beautifully. i sometimes find it hard to read or write cashton because i feel like it’s hard to do them justice, but you write them so well. it’s always a treat to read cashton from you

1) Aaah thank you sm anon!! This is so sweet and really did make my day! And also made me excited because I’m currently a bit over 3k into a cashton fic that I am so fucking stoked to share. I don’t think I’ve looked forward to sharing a fic this much since I wrote Fine Print.

2) when I first started writing 5sos fic, I was strictly into lashton, as a lot of people who read my stuff may remember. (And shoutout to the people that have stuck around even though I don’t really write lashton anymore lol). And, for a while, I found cashton really difficult to write too. And a lot of that was because I wasn’t reading very good cashton fics. Because I agree with you that cashton is pretty hard to do justice to!! (A lot of early cashton fics feel very ooc to me) And it’s really nice that you think I do 💙 because I love the love these guys have for each other. I think what I like so so much about cashton atm is the way they sort of… meet each other halfway every time, if that makes sense. Like, Ashton is obviously a very tender and caring person and puts others before himself a lot but I think Calum is his perfect match for that because he gives that admiration back tenfold without ever being prompted. He just happily supports Ashton as much as he can without it ever feeling like an obligation; he just loves his guy. They love each other in a very unashamed (and also painfully domestic) way. And I’ve seriously fallen in love with it recently.