#started a post and lost the plot so badly and sadly in the tags i had to near physically shake myself to snap out of it

[mashmouths]

how have we as a species survived menstrual depression i feel fucking insane right now

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2020 Day 20: Mutual Pining

An Old Feeling | @deservetobesaved

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1741 Main Tags/Warnings: post season 12, jealous!dean, love confession Summary: Castiel thinks Dean will never love him back so he decides to try and move on. Cue jealous!Dean and confessions galore.

To Catch a Spark | zaphodsgirl (AO3)

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 2364 Main Tags/Warnings: Misunderstandings, Fluff Summary: Cas has been acting pretty clumsy lately and Dean is a little worried.

Falling Awake | @specsofwings

Rating: General Word Count: 2530 Main Tags/Warnings: Love confessions, Cas and Dean being idiots, The Cosmic Entity Summary: After Michael is killed by Team Free Will 2.0, Dean ends up in the Empty, Michael's grace pulling a sliver of his consciousness there. The Cosmic Entity calls him out on not realising Castiel is in love with him. Dean needs to decide what to do with that information as he wakes up home.

Personal Space | @notfunnydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 2859 Main Tags/Warnings: NSFW, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot. Masturbation, Masturbation Interruptus, Voyeur Castiel Summary: It’s been four weeks since the last time Dean actually had time for himself and he just wants to crawl into his bed and finally jack off. Sadly he says a certain name and Castiel shows up and not to interrupt.

That Game We Played | @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 3139 Main Tags/Warnings: Valentine's Day, Castiel/Dean Winchester in the Men of Letters Bunker, Broken Thermostat, Castiel is Not Oblivious, Naked Cuddling Summary: “You know what?” Dean mutters, mostly to himself. He really is trying to be less of a jerk - but he can’t seem to help it. It’s Valentine’s day, and it’s hot. So he decides to stop talking, and takes off his jacket, a deep blue leather utility, and shucks it away on a counter. Cas seems to find this interesting, his eyes following Dean around the room; so then Dean does the first thing that comes to mind. He walks over to Cas, and holds his hand out. Cas stares at it, like he’s trying to figure out the purpose of its existence. Dean helps him, because he’s awesome like that. “Your coat.” Because why the fuck not?

Get out of my head | @notfunnydean

Rating: General Word Count: 3216 Main Tags/Warnings: Cursed, Mind Reading, dean and cas get cursed, mind reading Summary: When a witch puts some sort of spell on Dean and Castiel, they start to hear each other’s thoughts. Dean tries very hard to keep a secret, but Castiel has to insist.

May I ask for this dance | @notfunnydean

Rating: General Word Count: 3225 Main Tags/Warnings: Dean needs Cas' help on a case, Masquerade Ball, dancing on his feet Summary: When Dean asks Castiel to accompany him at an undercover investigation at a masquerade ball, to find the witch who killed a lot of people, Castiel wants it to be a date. Only problem, he can’t dance, so he asks Sam for help.

You aren't a monster | @notfunnydean

Rating: General Word Count: 3782 Main Tags/Warnings: misunderstandings Summary: When Bobby and Sam start to believe Castiel is actually on the bad side, Dean tries to defend his angel. He wouldn’t let them kill his best friend but unfortunately Castiel hears the wrong snippet of the conversation and ends up hurting Dean badly.

And I swear | @notfunnydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 4413 Main Tags/Warnings: two idiots in love, Jealous!Cas, Arthur is not in the fic but mentioned a lot, Abusive Relationships, hurt!Dean, Break Up Summary: Dean knows that Arthur is treating him badly, but he had worse in his life and besides, it’s not like the person he really loves wants him back.

your eyes will lead me straight back home | @elizaeverafter

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4602 Main Tags/Warnings: no archive warnings apply, fake/pretend relationship, mutual pining, fluff, light angst, romantic comedy, friends to lovers, au modern setting, jealousy, castiel POV Summary: When Dean hatches a plan to go to Charlie's wedding with Castiel to avoid being bothered about remaining single, Castiel knows this isn't going to go well. But he hasn't been able to refuse Dean so far, so why would this act of being in a relationship be any different? And if Castiel feels like exploding and blurting out his feelings the whole time, well, that's his problem.

The War Within You | @verobatto-angelxhunter

Rating: Mature Word Count: 9770 Main Tags/Warnings: Destiel, season 6 canon divergent, first kiss, mutual pining, slow burn, love confession, eventual Human!Cas, angst with a happy ending. Summary: Sam Is back from the cage but something is wrong with him, and Dean knows it. He must call Castiel for help... But not just for that... There's something forbidden burning inside him that makes his mind go crazy. He needs to be near the angel.

The Meaning of Everything | @verobatto-angelxhunter

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 17000 Main Tags/Warnings: Destiel, canonverse, post s14 canon divergent, mutual pining, first kiss, love confession, explicit sexual content, canon typical violence, angst with a happy ending, vessel sharing, winged Cas Summary: Chuck is the bad guy, and he broke with his snap Heaven, Hell and Purgatory. The chaos is all over the Earth. But Billie has a plan, they need to work together to raise Jack as the New God. Dean and Cas will try to solve their issues, but something unexpected will happen that will separate them again.

The Alpha Next Door (WIP) | @Destielshipper4Cas

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 16767 Main Tags/Warnings: Strangers to Lovers, First Time, Omega Castiel, Alpha Dean, Past Abuse Summary: When Cas is placed in WitSec, he gets a fake secondary gender designation to go along with his new name, ‘Jimmy.’ All he has to do until the boss of the omega trafficking ring he escaped is behind bars is keep a low profile, always apply his alpha scent, and not fall in love with an alpha. Well—two out of three ain’t too bad… Dean has never had a crush on an alpha before. Along comes his new neighbor, Jimmy, an alpha who is alphasexual. There’s just something about him, and to his utter confusion, he finds himself falling for an alpha for the first time in his life.

Guardian Angel | @notfunnydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 19486 Main Tags/Warnings: Homeless Dean Winchester, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Virgin!Dean, Abusive John Winchester, Canon-Typical Violence Summary: Everybody in the world has his own guardian angel, to keep them safe and protect them. Only "bad people" are without a guardian angel. Maybe that's why Dean is alone.

Little Blue Dragon | @saltnhalo

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 23820 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Magic, Blacksmith Dean Winchester, Mage Sam Winchester, Creature Castiel, Dragon Castiel, Pining, Soulmates, Minor Violence, Frottage Summary: Dean Winchester may have a reputation for being a skilled craftsman and blacksmith, but his life is just like anyone else’s. He’s over-worked and under-slept, and it’s all because of the niggling feeling in the back of his mind that tells him he’s… forgetting something. Still, he can’t let his weird dreams or errant thoughts get in the way of his work and his love for his craft. The strange feeling goes ignored. That is, until he meets a man with jewel-blue eyes and an aura of intrigue. Castiel slots into his life in a way that Dean had never thought possible, and Dean grows accustomed to the mysterious man’s visits and brilliant smiles and tales of far-away places. He’d never known he was missing a piece of himself until he met Castiel, and he thinks that Cas might feel the same way. Until Castiel disappears from Dean’s life completely.

Dislocation | @pray4jensen

Rating: Mature Word Count: 24514 Main Tags/Warnings: Mutual Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending Summary: After the sun is restored and the Woman of Letters banishes Castiel, he falls and becomes human, lost and alone in a place far from home. Four hundred and fifty-one days later, Sam finds him. He tells Castiel that Dean is alive. So they go. They go and they arrive at the bunker and Sam’s acting strange and there’s something that he’s not telling Castiel, something about Dean. And then Castiel finally reunites with Dean. And there is something about Dean. Something about Dean that has Dean pulling Castiel into tight embraces, something about Dean that has Dean running his thumb across Castiel’s cheek with a tender look in his eyes, and something about Dean that has Dean shaking when Castiel says certain things to him, things that are normal, things that should not affect him this way. There is something about Dean that no one is telling him.

Sending A Raven | @saltnhalo

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 38677 Main Tags/Warnings: Vikings, Magic, Temporary Character Death, Established Relationship, Leader Dean Winchester, Explicit Sexual Content, Violence, Dean/Cas Pinefest 2019, Viking Dean Winchester, Viking Castiel, BAMF Castiel (Supernatural), BAMF Dean Winchester, Mutual Pining, Angst Summary: When Dean, the Viking jarl of Týrvik, leaves on a raid to combat the enemy warriors attacking their ships, his husband Castiel is left to protect and lead the village. The ships return barely a week later, with damaged timbers and a devastated, leader-less crew, and suddenly Castiel finds himself not only in a position of leadership for which he is ill-equipped, but terrified for the safety of his captured husband. With the possibility of a spy somewhere in the village’s midst, Castiel leaves his people under Sam’s care and departs on the journey north to where they think Dean is being held, in a desperate attempt to rescue him before it’s too late.

Twenty Years | @ioasccel

Rating: Mature Word Count: 39501 Main Tags/Warnings: Angst, pining, religious themes, Summary: A profound bond between a Priest and the one he loves the most that spans decades. Father Novak’s love of God is tested by one Dean Winchester. A story of a priest driven by love and tortured by desire. All about forbidden love, heart break, and an eventually a happily ever after.

It's A Long Life to Always Be Longing | @pomegranatedaffodil

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 40685 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Divergence, Spells and Enchantments, Road Trips, Angst with a Happy Ending Summary: Dean’s life has always been dictated by duty rather than by need. So when Amara offers to give him the thing he needs most, he doesn’t know what to expect, but it certainly isn’t this: a chance to rest, some time away from his life and his burdens. Now he’s trapped in an enchanted sleep, unable to bring himself back to the waking world. It’s up to Sam and Castiel to gather the components of a spell that will bring Dean back to them. Through road trips, honest conversations, and a lot of patience, they’ll make sure Dean comes home. And when he does, maybe he and Castiel will finally have a chance to act on long-buried feelings brought to the surface by their enforced separation. Canon-divergent from the end of 11.23.

The Handyman's Special | @carrieosity

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 51456 Main Tags/Warnings: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Mutual Pining, Humor and Fluff, Human AU, Low-angst, Top!Castiel/Bottom!Dean Summary: Dr. Dean Winchester, professor of Mechanical Engineering, was full of confidence in his own abilities when he decided to purchase a fixer-upper house to rehab and remodel on his own. Now, standing in the middle of his new house and praying the floors won’t cave in, he’s realizing that determination and academic brilliance might only take him so far this time. The bigger problem: his overconfidence in the face of other people’s doubts (ahem, Sam) means that asking for help now will mean swallowing a whole lot of pride…and he’d rather not. Hiring a secret contractor to do the work without telling anyone seems like the perfect solution. Accidentally hiring an amazingly hot secret contractor wasn’t part of the plan. And when Sam overhears a conversation and starts connecting dots, a snap decision and another lie on top the first leads to a ridiculous balancing act of fake stories, pretend relationships, and one hell of a renovation tale.

Escaping Neverland | @emblue-sparks

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 84004 Main Tags/Warnings: Major Warning: Underage(only first 30k, no underage sex), Mental health issues, Identity issues, failed family placements, Mention of past traumas Tags: Adventure Romance AU with canon elements Storybook I-1995 Storybook II- 2015 Heavily inspired by Peter Pan,Completely Destiel despite first pairing, read to learn how, NO MCD(Sam Dean Cas)Canon character deaths, TAGS FOR 1995: Practices & rituals of Sumerian/Greek/Judeo Christian faiths, Dean/Jimmy slow burn, heart failure, kidney/pancreatic failure, dialysis, Found Family, John's the dad his kids deserve, LGBTQ positive parents, First kiss disaster, First DateHoliday, our island/our rules, sad boys, memorial rituals, Heart Transplant, Mourning Rituals TAGS FOR 2015: Everyone supports therapy, Incorrect demon summoning, Latin, Scottish Gaelic, Enochian, Professor/Rookie Hunter!Sam, Nurse!Dean, Orchard Owner/Beekeeper!Cas,Tattooed Dean, burger date, Frottage, Shower Deansturbation,Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, Cum kink, Biting kink, Switch boys, Heavy surgical scarring, Dean knows ASL, Strange Dreams, Collective nightmares, Canon adjacent realms: Hoya Baciu Forest Romania, Caria Turkey, Chaos, Mythical Greek creatures, Temporarily fanged Benny, Some villainous ferrymen, Some badass ferrymen, Overly confident dick in a boat, Destiel Ever After, Happy Ending GUARANTEED, Dean/Cas Big Bang Challenge 2019 Summary: Lawrence 1995- Sixteen year old Dean Winchester finds himself in St. Luke's Children's Hospital after an electrocution severely damages his heart. On unit Neverland he meets Jimmy, a smartass with multiple organ failure and an expiration date. They discover an immediate spark which becomes an enduring flame. But Dean struggles accepting Jimmy's fate as well as his own, if a heart cannot be found in time. As his efforts to evade the ultimate marauder are weakening, he begins drawing strength from the misfit teens of Neverland East, learning the power of found family. Lebanon 2015- Dean finally joins Sam, Jo, and Charlie in the bunker. But unexpectedly meeting Castiel, who shares an unsettling likeness to Jimmy and an equally traumatic childhood, threatens to destroy two decades of hard work moving beyond the devastating events which occurred at St. Luke's. They'd be perfect for each other, if both weren’t so damn broken. As their involvement deepens, rookie hunter Sam works a case of rising juvenile deaths, revealing a shocking connection to the surviving Neverlanders. One that's been calling them all along to perilous adventure.

After All These Years | @peanutbutterjelly-pie

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 99909 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe, Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Single Parent Dean, Reunion, Slow Burn Summary: In which Dean finds himself at a wedding as Jo's fake boyfriend against his will, groaning and complaining the whole time, but still trying to appear all handsome and perfect and utterly in love since he's an awesome friend like that (and since Jo would make his life a living hell otherwise). And just when he begins to think that it won't be so bad to eat tons of free food and let his daughter Emma enjoy the festivity his gaze suddenly meets the two bluest eyes in existence and the world stops to move for a moment. Because of course the groom's brother turns out to be his old high school crush Castiel – the only person Dean was never able to forget – and things start to become really complicated all of a sudden.

[lambourngb]

Get me out of here - places to go when canon is complicated

It’s Day 3, time to celebrate those stories that I turn to when I can’t deal with canon, or when I don’t have the emotional energy to untangle all the emotions I have for what’s going on in canon. Alternative universes, the safe harbor for us. Below are a mix of rewrites of canon, remixes of canon, or out right not even set in Roswell- to fill every type distance you want from canon- from near to far.

The first story I’m reccing is a long one,- so pardon the very long review below.

my love is a life taker by @jocarthage (267,600) So one day, Jessi popped into discord to share a dream she had about timetravel and being able to save yourself in the past basically, particularly Alex getting to give his baby-self a hug, and we all went, “holy shit that’s a cool fic idea please write it!” and really reality sucks right now with quarantine and whatnot, so what better thing to do than follow a WIP? I can’t tell you how badly I needed to something to look forward to as I was staring down a milestone birthday with all my plans in tatters, and this story filled the void.

Okay- now about the actual story itself, the world building about time travel in this is incredible but easy to absorb. Jessi dumps you straight into the action in chapter 1 with Alex, at 28, assassinating an Iraqi intelligence agent in 2009 that averts a bomb that was planned on US forces. You learn so much about both the story-universe and Alex here- one, that even dressed in mask and killing someone, Alex is kind and uses morphine as an overdose and has arranged for his victim’s family to be compensated, you learn that time agents can only visit places they themselves have visited during that time, and Jesse Manes had dragged his son, who was ‘time aware’ to every place of war and ruin on the planet before he was 18 and that, Alex’s victim, even as he’s dying, recognizes what a shit childhood Alex had but that Alex doesn’t.

The next part is where Alex’s time crystal malfunctions, instead of returning him to 2018, it takes him to 1998 where an 8 year old Michael is getting beaten by his foster dad and Alex, out of his time line mysteriously, visible to only Michael, saves him, but only temporarily. We all know with abusers, until you’re out of the house, it’s just a matter of time before the next beating. However, with one act, Alex at 28 starts putting into action (even though he doesn’t recognize it at the time) the steps to save his own life as he works to save Michael from his childhood. Each mission, each jump through time, Alex meets Michael, always a year apart and only for 1000 seconds, or almost 17 minutes. Jessi takes you through some of the darkest points of US foreign policy, only as Alex takes control of his life, he also starts to change the missions, and change the world. The details of places, people, food, etc are authentic from the author’s experience, if you don’t click on the links at the end of the chapters and disappear down google-rabbit holes about the events in history, well- you’re made of stronger stuff than I am.  There are lots of heavy subjects discussed, but there’s always care and honesty behind the intent. The way Michael grows, the way Alex grows, and of course the journey to the present time when they could be together? It’s like pining on steroids but it’s so wonderful. I wish I could pull out one thing that I loved in particular in this story- but it’s impossible, only to say that I love that I could disappear completely within the confines of ‘my love is a life taker’ knowing that I would be kept safe by the author, that goodness prevails.


when I’m oceans away by @neapeaikea (28,000) this is a post-2008 shed canon-divergent AU where Alex Manes, after the best/worst night of his life bolts from Roswell and leaves Michael behind. 10 years later, on the hunt for a child conceived at Caulfield, Michael walks into a youth home in California and finds Alex. A few things, I love that this author writes an Alex who didn’t join the Air Force but still lost a leg, I don’t really enjoy disability erasure in modern AUs (I’m better at looking past that in historical or sci fi aus) . It’s pretty clear after five minutes that the connection between the two men is still there and strong despite anger, secrets and guilt. The teasing and flirting between them is great but so is the acceptance of baring their vulnerabilities. I loved the care they take with each other, and the tie in to an alien child is just so perfect.

Crucibles (series) @ninswhimsy (9,000)- I’m cheating and naming both here, but obviously nin had her finger on the pulse of fandom, by writing crusade-set queer stories before The Old Guard ever boomed into a fandom from the movie. I was lucky enough to trade DMs over the ideas of holiness and the body, and how Alex would have treated himself, certain of his doomed soul, and how Michael would have responded in turn. It’s no secret I love everything Nin writes, but this series stuck in my mind. I will be drifting off to sleep, and think about Alex walking through the ancient city of Aleppo, ready to be done with his burden and Michael there with soft palms and scented oil, and boom! I reach for my kindle to re-read it.

no regrets if we walk this new road by @andrea-lyn (97,000) This author has written so many amazing AUs, some quite far away from canon events like her Mummy AU or her Avengers AU, but I have to say, I have a very soft-spot for this rewrite of season 1 for a lot of reasons. I mean, it’s 2020, so my appetite for Cop!Max is definitely at an all-time low, so the idea of exchanging his job with Kyle’s was extremely appealing. At least Kyle is a POC holding the badge, not a white man like our canon. Anyway, politics aside, this story is special to me for the scorching good Isobel/Kyle relationship that develops, the way Isobel sharpens herself into a lawyer (not an event planner) and how Michael rounds his own edges off in turn by becoming a teacher (and being secretly married).  Each deviation from canon made complete sense once you alter the way Rosa’s death affects the pod squad, and how they covered it up ripples out toward Liz, Kyle, etc. 


Layer on layer, down on down by @dotsayers (9,440) I love sci-fi tropes, especially time-loops, but they are incredibly hard to write (I know, I abandoned mine a while ago) so this story stands out because of just how well done the execution is and also the angst. Michael in a time loop about Caulfield, like how great/agonizing is that? The plot is so good, how it ties into Caulfield and why it happens in the first place, like wow.  The care, and the hurt, and the fatigue that Michael has in this story, oh you just want to wrap him in a blanket. There’s a tiny throwaway line about how one of the first things Michael learned to do in foster care was to make himself heavy and unmovable- and you instantly picture kid!Michael not wanting to be removed from a house - like my heart broke! The structure of the story, with the background of his just how much he loves Alex but how badly it hurts to see him die, really makes this study of 1x12 special. Along with all the angst, there’s tiny gallows humor lines, so am I weird, that I laughed through a couple of these scenes even as Michael kept dying?

Petty pace by @aewriting (11,600) Aewriting has a couple of stellar AUs, so trying to pick just one was difficult, but I rather feel this story is sadly underappreciated it (mind the tags). It was a remix of @iwontbeyourmedicine ‘s fantastic ‘Freaky Friday’, where the humans and aliens swap roles. Alex in the role of Michael basically was something I had never pictured until Ly wrote that story, and now feel utterly changed by it, especially with this backstory- the idea of Jesse Manes bringing a foster child home? Incredibly well done because there’s an off the charts level of menace in this story. The way Jesse watches Alex, who at first mistakes it for how a pedophile might size up a victim, but then catches on quickly that it’s so much worse in a lot of ways. And Alex is such a loner in the beginning, even as he reconnects with his pod siblings Liz and Maria, he’s still planning on keeping his head down and leaving Roswell far behind. Like freedom is literally the only thing he can conceive of for himself, no real dreams outside of that until Michael slips under his defenses. I probably could have saved this story for angst day- because the second half of the story, if you don’t sob while you read it, then I dunno. It’s helpful to read Ly’s story right afterward as a reminder that things do get better for Alex ten years later. In a lot of ways this story is sadder than canon (though there’s no murder of Rosa/4th alien), I’m comforted that at least Alex has Liz in the aftermath, alike in heartache in a way that Michael didn’t have because of the pact he and Max made about Isobel in canon.

Unexpected tidings by @bestillmyslashyheart (24,800) Another rewrite of canon, that explores a couple of very interesting questions, like what would it look like if Michael never made it back to Roswell as a kid but met Alex by chance in 2008? Imagine the cornerstone of the Lost Decade love affair revolving around the mundane questions of a long distance relationship that wasn’t built on the pain of the shed or Rosa’s death? Marlo writes an amazing take on this, that is both real and deep with the normal couple problems, before introducing that spanner in the works of oh yeah, aliens are real. With Michael on the east coast, and Alex finishing off his service in Roswell, Project Shepherd still entangles Alex with Liz bringing him in on the secret in hopes that with his hacker skills he can track down the third alien child that Max and Iz remember so they can warn him. As interesting as the current plot was, I found myself absolutely revitted the slow piecemeal reveals that Marlo doled out about Alex and Michael’s relationship over time. (I also while rereading this recently got very nostaglic for season 1 Alex who didn’t trust Jesse as far as he could toss him.) 

Don’t Punish Me For What I Feel by @winged-fool (3,600) Tarsus IV AU - another wonderful author with a catalog of great AUs, both sci-fi and dark, and honestly it was difficult to narrow it down to one. This story, well in 2009 I was a hard core Trek movie fan, so when I saw a trek-fusion story appear, I knew I would love it just on that basis. The thing is, this gave me Michael as the Captain, a surprisingly rare role for these space fusions, even though genius level repeat offender Jim Kirk and genius level repeat offender Michael Guerin seems pretty married in my mind as a connection. As a Tarsus-like story, all the tags are well earned by the story that Alex finally shares with Michael. It hit on so many levels, the hurt/comfort level for sure, but also to have a story where Michael is this stalwart protector of Alex was really nice to find. 

this isn’t the ‘holiday best friends championship’ by @usbournejez (6,090) alright to leave this on a lighter note, my final AU rec is this masterpiece by Kieran that was part of Malex Secret Santa gift fics- and what a gift it was to all of us! The way she writes established Malex is first-rate, because she always includes their canon-levels of snark/sharpness but it’s never directed at each other and that’s something I love. Here we have Alex, where we learn in just a few short lines, is a huge control freak but has the extremely big emotional handicap, and that’s his love/fondness/deserve to caretake Michael. Emotional cactus Alex who is soft for Michael? Love it. There are small drops of angsty backstory peppered in this, but really that just fuels just how sweet and wonderful the main theme of the story- which is Alex might hate the whole world at large, he loves, protects and worships Michael (and vice versa). As someone who can bake cookies, but that’s about it, I was still enthralled with the baking details and this story has never failed to encourage me to eat dessert before dinner basically. 

[dragonnan]

WIP Challenge

WIP Challenge!! Tell your blog the titles of all the WIPs you are currently working on right now and a little about them and then tag five other writers.Another posting challenge I saw that appeals to meTagged by: nobodyDisclaimer: I'm only "actively" working on a handful of these.  I deeply want to finish all of them but some that have lingered for years are of a lower priority.  I also can't write for more than 2 fandoms at any given time and right now the two that interest me are MCU related and Sherlock.

1.  Sed Diabolus (MCU)

Takes place soon after Endgame.  Due to the nature of the multiverse it is both compliant and non-compliant to the film as well as being both a fix-it as well as making shit significantly worse.  The story is structured around Peter Parker - who returned, with everyone else, with the snap that restored everyone to life.  The difference is that he won't wake up.  Meanwhile, in another universe, Peter Parker has recently returned from from Europe.  Left to skulk around Queens at night, now that his identity has been revealed, he is feeling more lost than ever before.  Meanwhile Doctor Strange, back in the other universe, has been called upon to rescue the comatose Peter - and a startling truth is revealed!  What will it take to restore Peter once again?  Worse still, an old enemy of Stephen's has returned.  And a new enemy threatens to destroy everything they'd won with the defeat of Thanos.

2. Avengers: New Beginnings (MCU)

This is also an Endgame fix-it.  This is actually the first fix-it idea I had but then @kitcat992 and I started brainstorming Diabolus and I got extremely side-tracked.  In this one, the focus is more specifically on Tony Stark and the fact that he's been having horrific nightmares.  The thing is, according to Stephen Strange, they aren't nightmares but memories that come from another universe.  The story will involve repairing the fractures in the universe caused by the use of the gauntlet as well as looking at the various Avengers as the go forward from the defeat of Thanos.  There will also be the introduction of Kamala Khan and how, exactly, her powers came to be.

3. The Fire in Which We Burn (Sherlock)

Molly Hooper-centric.  Set immediately after TFP (with a thick dose of establishing history in the first chapter).  In essence this story developed from the question "what was upsetting Molly just before Sherlock made That Call"?  It also provides context for how she could go from speaking about Tom in glowing terms during TEH to stabbing his hand in TST.  Snatching back terminology from the jaws of obscurity this story relights on a ton of UST (unresolved sexual tension for the fandom young).  There is also a lot of Mycroft and Anthea involvement.  As to the actual story-line it involves an ex of Molly's who got dangerous.  The story will be about her dealing with said ex and the shit going on between herself and Sherlock.  Is anything salvageable from all of this?  Is it even worth discussing?  

4. Oompa Loompa Doom-Pa-Dee-Die (Psych)

Originally this story was part of a huge Virtual 9th Season set after the end of the series.  Myself and about 6 or 7 other writers had plotted out in tremendous detail a connected story arc that would carry through 8 episodes (originally 16).  This story was set to be the 5th episode.  Sadly, after many years of trying to make the VS happen, I finally contacted the various writers and we agreed to let it go.  However, as this story was fully plotted and was a bit of writing that I remain very proud of, I reworked it to function as a stand-alone story.  Basically, Shawn and Gus end up finding themselves involved in a murder investigation at a chocolate factory.  As is likely evident from the title, the themes in this fic draw very heavily from the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory film.  There are actually two rival chocolate factories run by two sisters who have been rivals since their youth.  Their father, the former owner of the first factory, is fan-cast as, of course, Gene Wilder.  There are a lot of mysterious elements, humor, and hopefully a decent twist by the end.

5. Simon and Simon and Psych (Psych and Simon & Simon crossover)

In spite of letting this thing linger so long I’m actually pretty excited about it still.  The basic story plot is that Rick and AJ Simon travel to Santa Barbara so that AJ can compete in the annual (and real) half marathon.  Of course things go sideways when Rick gets caught up in a drug trafficking scheme with him as the accused.  To make matters worse, Shawn, Gus, and AJ all get caught and kidnapped while investigating the drug traffickers.  The one thing I’m especially excited about this story is bringing Rick and AJ into modern times with a few changes to their personal history.  It’s a lot of fun having them banter about websites and politics and stuff of that nature.

6. The Big Stink (Supernatural)

My very first foray into fanfic for this fandom I started this thing years ago when I had already become frustrated by the direction of the series.  I wanted to recapture what had originally made me love the show and that was the story of two brothers fighting monsters - no more no less.  The story is built around Dean being cursed to constantly have a terrible smell in his nose - which also affects his sense of taste.  While initially humorous the side effects of something like that become gradually worse as if not only makes eating and drinking awful but also leaves him constantly nauseous.  The story is about the boys backtracking their movements to figure out who or what put the whammy on Dean as well as trying to work out how to break the curse.  

7. Asgårdsreia (HTTYD)

Right off the bat I made the mistake of starting this fic before properly plotting out the story first - thus the initial reason why it was left hanging.  Then the third film hit with its swath of disappointment and I’ve been somewhat less than eager to get back to it.  So the story, as it stands, is that the Viking clan is in the midst of celebrating Fyr Bal (basically “fire festival”).  Most of the clans join together at this time with each clan taking a turn to host on their year.  That year it’s Berk’s turn to host - much to Hiccup’s dismay.  He’s especially off-put by certain visiting clans eyeing him like a side of beef for their eligible daughters.  So, needing some escape, he takes Toothless out to survey some unexplored islands in search of new dragon species (basically the typical shit he’s been getting up to in Race to the Edge as well as the second movie).  Things go severely awry, however, when he comes across some dragon hunters and is hit with a bolo - breaking his left leg and making it impossible to operate the pedal used to fly Toothless.  Forced to shift on his side and fly by using one hand on the pedal, he and Toothless eventually crash land on a deserted island.  Now, badly injured and with no way to escape, they’re forced to run from the dragon hunters who followed in their wake.  

Tagging: @hanuko @ceruleanmindpalace @kitcat992 @sgam76 @mizjoely @ariaadagio @aelaer    

[imagitory]

D-Views: Muppet Treasure Island

Hi, everyone! Welcome to another installment of D-Views, my on-going written review series for films that fall under the Disney umbrella, as well as those that were influenced by those films! For more reviews for movies like Mary Poppins, Treasure Planet, and The Prince of Egypt, please consult my “Disney Reviews” tag and, of course, if you enjoy this review or any of the others, please consider liking and reblogging!

Today’s film is one of my childhood favorites, starring a cast of some of my favorite people, as well as frogs, pigs, and even whatevers. This is Muppet Treasure Island! (Thank you for your votes, @the-alexandrian-alchemist, @silvvergears, @extremelybears​, @livinlifelikeishould​ and @karalora​!)

Ever since 1976, the characters of the Muppet Show have been American pop culture icons. The show itself won a total of 21 Emmy nominations and four television awards over its long run, and by 1990 its cast had also starred in several critically acclaimed films (The Muppet Movie, The Great Muppet Caper, and The Muppets Take Manhattan) and the very popular animated TV show Muppet Babies. And all of that wouldn’t have been possible without the Muppets’ creator, Jim Henson.

Like at the Walt Disney Company, the loss of their leader in 1990 hit Jim Henson Productions very hard. One silver lining, however, is that just like with Walt Disney, Jim Henson was memorialized not just by the characters he created, but by his many achievements and the many friendships he’d made in life. He received a Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame alongside Kermit the Frog; was inducted into the Television Hall of Fame; earned a memorial in his hometown Hyattsville, Maryland; was posthumously named a Disney Legend; was the focus of the heartfelt TV special The Muppets Celebrate Jim Henson; and was laid to rest with two formal funeral services complete with performances of some of his favorite songs. And just like the Walt Disney Company, even after the death of someone who meant so much to them, Jim Henson Productions got back up and promised to do more in the memory of their lost leader. Jim’s son Brian Henson took the reins and directed the Disney-co-produced Christmas movie The Muppet Christmas Carol in 1992, before he moved on to their next project and today’s subject, Muppet Treasure Island.

So, here’s the thing -- I have a LOT of nostalgia for this movie. I will be upfront about that. But even with that acknowledged, I was sort of stunned when I found out how lukewarm the reaction to this movie was, when it was released in theaters. Sure, I knew it hadn’t broken the bank, but even if it earned about $34 million worldwide, it received no honors or awards, only hit third at the box office opening weekend behind the movies Broken Arrow and Happy Gilmore, and even now only boasts an average 73% rating at Rotten Tomatoes. Critics at the time criticized how it was more “Treasure Island” than “Muppet”, with Roger Ebert calling it “less cleverly written” and Gene Siskel even more coldly deeming it “boring.” Although I’ll readily acknowledge that reading those reactions makes me want to run outside and scream “FUCK YOU, GENE SISKEL” at the top of my lungs, I promise to give a more rational review of this movie instead, one hopefully that acknowledges any possible shortcomings, but also will celebrate this film and how completely NOT boring it is.

One of the best things about this movie hits us in the face right off the bat -- the music, written by scoring giant Hans Zimmer and Nick Glennie-Smith. As much as I enjoy a lot of Muppet musicals, I attest that Muppet Treasure Island has the most cohesive score overall of any Muppet production. The Muppets were always creatures of the short, sweet vignette -- of the variety show -- of many disparate pieces sewn loosely together into a whole like a patchwork quilt. Even though The Muppet Christmas Carol’s soundtrack comes very close in its cohesion and I would say The Muppets (2011) -- my personal favorite Muppet movie -- is truer to the spirit of the Muppet Show in its music while also paying tribute to old-fashioned movie musicals, Muppet Treasure Island just paints a full-bodied picture from the off-set, building on refrains that return and morph over the course of the picture. From the very beginning, we get that this venture is NOT a standard Muppet movie. Like The Muppet Christmas Carol, the Muppets’ humor will only be part of the story told -- in TMCC, it takes a backseat to sincere emotions like love and redemption, while here in MTI, it takes a backseat to adventure and swashbuckling action.

The score also seamlessly flows into our first song, “Shiver My Timbers,” which just screams “pirate!” I’ve loved pirates ever since I was a little kid, and Muppet Treasure Island was one of the main reasons why. I was okay with Peter Pan, but Muppet Treasure Island was what really got me excited about pirates. They were rough, ruthless, and dangerous, but it was exciting to face off against them in an epic musical adventure, even if your only weapons were a couple of artfully thrown starfish. In the 90′s, pirate films weren’t really “in” -- it wouldn’t be until 2003 with the release of Pirates of the Caribbean that they became popular again -- but I think Muppet Treasure Island, through its music, really embraces the fun, action-packed thrills that Disney would later capitalize on in the Pirates films.

After our prologue, we meet Billy Bones (played by the perfectly cast Billy Connolly) and, of course, our hero, Jim Hawkins, played by newcomer Kevin Bishop. Kevin was the very first of a hundred kids who showed up for the audition to meet the casting agents, and he was selected for the part then and there. Sadly post-Muppets he moved on to stage and television, but for what it’s worth, I quite like Kevin in the role of Jim. He’s distinctly depicted as a boy, complete with a pre-puberty “boy soprano” singing voice (which I acknowledge is an acquired taste, but I personally enjoy), but that characterization only serves to accent how large of an arc he goes through over the course of the film. He starts off as smart, sincere, honest, and dreamy, but also very innocent and trusting, and over the course of the story, he learns to ground himself in who he is and what he believes in, to the point where he has to sever ties with someone he once considered a friend and mentor. Accompanying Jim in his journey are Gonzo and Rizzo, who largely serve as comic relief but do still serve as good friends and companions to Jim, as evident by the three characters’ “I Want” song, “Something Better.” Yes, Gonzo and Rizzo are sidekicks, but they’re still distinct personalities that bounce well off each other and “straight-man” Jim. Originally the filmmakers had considered simply having Gonzo and Rizzo being two characters called “Jim” and “Hawkins” respectively (splitting the part in two, not unlike what they did with Statler and Waldorf in The Muppet Christmas Carol), but due to concerns that the choice would result in a lack of heart in the finished product, that idea was scrapped. I think it ultimately was the better decision to leave the drama to the humans -- it’s not that the Muppets can’t conjure sincere emotion (just look at “Pictures in my Head” or “Man or Muppet”), but I still think having any of the existing Muppets fulfill the “coming of age” narrative the original Jim Hawkins goes through would’ve been a bit of a stretch. Even in The Muppet Christmas Carol or non-Muppet-show Jim Henson production Labyrinth, the main characters with a story arc are played by human actors who are able to ground the picture despite the cast of colorful, irreverent characters.

One of the main criticisms that critics of the time lobbed at this movie is that it feels more “Treasure Island” than “Muppet”, and in a way it’s a decent point, if not phrased very badly. Unlike in other Muppet projects, the humor plays second fiddle to the plot and the characters are not the characters we know from the Muppet Show with their Muppet Show backstories and consciousness. In The Muppet Christmas Carol, the film could very easily be seen as a “production” being put on by the Muppets, even if it’s never overtly stated as such, thanks to Gonzo (as Charles Dickens) constantly breaking the fourth wall. In Muppet Treasure Island, however, Gonzo and Rizzo have their own non-Muppet-show history as friends of Jim Hawkins way before ever meeting the other Muppets like Kermit and Sam the Eagle, and Kermit and Miss Piggy have a whole soap-opera romance that involves a wedding and getting marooned by pirates (we’ll get to that later). So yes, this is more “Treasure Island,” but it’s not less “Muppet” -- it’s less “Muppet Show.” These Muppets have different histories, but they’re the same characters despite this. Gonzo is an eccentric thrill-seeker -- Rizzo is a cowardly cynic -- Kermit is a soft-spoken pacifist -- Fozzie is a lovable dimwit -- Piggy is a self-centered diva. Think of Muppet Treasure Island as a Muppet AU fanfiction -- these may not be exactly the characters you know, and yet...they are! They’re the exact same big personalities with the same quirks, strengths, and weaknesses, just in an alternate universe. And honestly, I think it’s really cool, to see these sorts of characters so exclusively used for comedy in a world that’s not flat-out comedic -- one that’s kind of dirty and rough around the edges, with swashbuckling action and real danger around every corner.

The nice thing is that although yes, the comedy isn’t the central focus anymore, there is still really good humor in this film, a lot of it thanks to the shift in tone. There’s just something so very, very funny to me about Billy Bones’s death scene being followed up by Rizzo, Gonzo, and Jim just flat-out freaking out and dashing out of the room screaming like stupid kids, or the tense action scene where the pirates storm into the inn being punctuated by Rizzo trying to help Gonzo load the gun, only to spill the bag of bullets, or the epic entrance of the illustrious Captain Smollett’s carriage ending with the tall, solemn coachman stepping aside to reveal the Captain himself, played by Kermit the Frog. I think it plays into the ideas of subverting expectations and building up a punchline properly before delivering the joke -- as each scene is built up, we’re left constantly unsure if the film’s going to play things straight or just be completely irreverent, and the contrast is what can make a joke much funnier than in a purely, solely humorous scenario. There are a few points where the contrast can become a bit labored, but I laugh so much more during this movie that I ever have watching my favorite reruns of the Muppet Show, no matter how much I enjoy them. It’s something that, again, the Pirates of the Caribbean films would capitalize on much later. (Too bad they couldn’t incorporate that humor into any catchy musical numbers! Disney, where’s my Pirates of the Caribbean musical?)

Aha, and now we come to the brightest of the shining stars in this film -- our villain, Long John Silver, played by the amazing Tim Curry. I’m sorry, it’s an incontrovertible truth that Curry is a unique, magical ingredient that, when added to any movie, just elevates the cinematic dish to a whole new level and leaves you drooling for one more scene with him. I remember someone once saying that Curry is sort of like a Muppet in human skin thanks to his outrageous, yet likable acting, and...yeah, it makes it so that he fits perfectly in this movie, where he has to interact so closely with the Muppets. The nice thing is, though, that he also has a lot of chemistry with his human co-star Kevin Bishop, to the extent that you sincerely feel for the relationship that forms between Jim and Silver even if you know Silver’s intentions from the start. I particularly like their exchange in the ridiculously catchy “Sailing for Adventure,” as well as their scene at the front of the ship where they discuss their fathers and the stars.

Just as the adventure is getting going, however, it stops dead with the wind’s abandonment of the Hispaniola. Out of nowhere, the ship breaks out into the most ridiculous, most “Muppet” of all of the musical numbers, “Cabin Fever.” The song was one of my favorite parts when I was little and it’s always made me laugh, but it’s definitely the biggest detour of the movie that up until that point lived in its own pirate-centric world. It’s a very short-lived detour and as I said, it’s ridiculously funny, but it doesn’t have any bearing on the plot and I could see how people might find it kind of pointless, particularly since it doesn’t even feature three of our main characters, Jim, Silver, or Smollett. One other critique I will give the film is that some of the effects nowadays don’t look very real, like the Hispaniola being composited over still matte paintings -- there are points where the production values remind me a bit of the old Wishbone TV series, where they have to angle the shot just so or get creative just to try to make the ship look as big as it should be. But honestly, there were points where Wishbone impressed me with those same sorts of layering and green-screen effects despite its limited budget, and those cheaper effects don’t look tacky or out-of-place, so I personally don’t mind them that much.

Because this is a Muppet movie, it’s unsurprising that our Mr. Arrow (played by Sam the Eagle) isn’t really killed, instead just being tricked off of the ship by a manipulative Silver, but it says something that, even with that softened plot turn, the stakes are not completely dismantled. We still see the pirates as a legitimate threat when they kidnap Jim and take over the Hispaniola, even when they burst into song. Tim Curry’s “only number,” “A Professional Pirate,” is a perfect expression of his expert, charming showmanship, which in my mind truly can’t be matched by any other performer in Hollywood, past or present. No one gives a performance like Tim Curry. It makes it so that even when I was a bratty kid getting irritated about Silver calling privateer Sir Francis Drake a pirate and using “buccaneer” as a synonym for “pirate,” I would sing this song at the top of my lungs, trying to even reach 75% of the energy Curry put into his vocals.

At long last, Miss Piggy makes her grand debut as “Queen Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal,” a.k.a. Benjamina Gunn. Although the diva doesn’t end up getting much screentime, she certainly gets a grand entrance, complete with an elephant steed decorated with flowers and a full musical number complete with a tribal chant and ethereal vocalizing. And true to form, when she lays eyes on her one true love, Kermit...she smacks him so hard that he’s thrown backwards off his feet and into a gong. What’s particularly interesting about Piggy in this movie is that although she and Fozzie are voiced by Frank Oz as always, both she and Fozzie were actually puppeted by Kevin Clash, as Oz was unavailable during this film’s production, and Oz’s vocals for both characters were added in post-production. Despite the difference in puppeteer, however, both characters are just as likable as ever -- I’d honestly had no clue that they weren’t performed by the same person! The film even got to use the full-bodied remote-controlled puppets for Kermit and Piggy for the love duet “Love Led Us Here,” which is kicked off by an Evita joke I never got as a kid but as an adult makes me grin like a friggin’ idiot. Fortunately the duet is inter-cut with Silver and the pirates finding the treasure, rather than it being chock-full of romantic flashbacks or prolonged looks between the two lovebirds, giving it a lighter tone than it would’ve had otherwise.

With a much reduced crew comprised only of Rizzo, Gonzo, Squire Trelawney, Dr. Honeydew, Beaker, and the newly returned Mr. Arrow, Jim comes to Benjamina and Smollett’s rescue and returns to Treasure Island to face Silver and the pirates. The action scene is full of humor, but because of the world established in the rest of the film, I would argue it still has stakes. The blows still hurt and there’s still a threat of defeat and danger, most notably when Long John Silver prepares to fight. Even if you don’t think the Muppets are going to die persay, you still feel the suspense in wanting to see what’s going to happen next. And when Silver surrenders, he himself can see the real treasure Jim found on his adventure -- a family...a group of people Muppets who will support him and encourage the very best in him.

Silver’s escape scene is a beautifully heart-wrenching scene -- one that could only have been earned by two excellent performances over the course of the film by Kevin Bishop and Tim Curry. Even though both Silver and Jim know that they’re different people and they could never walk the same path, it doesn’t mean that they don’t still greatly esteem and care about each other. In Jim’s case, it’s especially difficult, given that in parting ways with Silver, he has to cut loose of a very poor potential father figure who would’ve only dragged him down in the long run, but who was so likable in his own damaged way. It proves to be a very bittersweet scene sprinkled into a very happy, cheerful ending, complete with the chipper island-inspired end credits bop “Love Power.”

Muppet Treasure Island is -- in my opinion, at least -- one of the best Muppet movies ever made. It broke away from quite a few Muppet conventions, like the characters breaking the fourth wall and being aware of themselves being in a movie or TV show, and embraced a much less humorous tone in both its writing and cinematography. Yes, it reimagined a classic book like The Muppet Christmas Carol did, but this movie took the next step, embracing the world of the original novel as well as the set-up and immersing the Muppets’ cast of characters in it. Although I can see why some people would be more partial to the original Muppet movie formula and love it a lot myself, I really, really respect Brian Henson and the rest of this film’s crew for taking the Muppets in such a different direction. It was an entertaining, action-packed, funny pirate movie before those sorts of movies became popular again, and it remains my favorite “pirate” movie of all time, as well as my personal favorite incarnation of the Treasure Island story (barely beating out Treasure Planet). I know childhood nostalgia can play a role in what media can give you joy as an adult, but I truly don’t think it’s the only factor here -- it’s also just a really good movie, and I can only hope that more people will consider giving it a chance and have just as much fun Sailing for Adventure as I did!

[sigritandtheelves]

Ground

Rating: Mature Timeline: post-Requiem, au Tags: angst, romance, aliens/mytharc, and (lord help me) fluff Words: 4.3 k

A/N: This is the fourth and final work in a series I’m calling Bearings that begins with “Drown,” “Surface,” and “Harbor,” following the reproduction arc from seasons 5-8. CW for all parts: mentions of some sensitive reproductive topics (IVF, loss, miscarriage, infertility, birth, etc.). Because I wanted to rework the season 8 mythology and timeline so it actually made sense, this is quite a bit more plot-heavy than the previous installments, but I hope it’s not too far off in tone from the others.

_+_

She comes home from the hospital to her empty apartment where there is nothing she wants to see, then to his empty apartment where she feeds his fish and draws circles with her left hand on her abdomen. We made you here, she thinks. On his couch, she watches the blank screen of his TV, dazed. His computer disappears. Her computer disappears. She vomits. She calls her mother. She meets the man that’s taken on the impossible task—so earnest, so by-the-book—so unequipped to find her partner.

A week after he’s taken, she stands among scrub grass and cacti, screaming his name into the dark. Beside her the boy Gibson touches her elbow. “It’s there,” he says and points.

“Where? Can you hear him?”

“Yes.”

But they are ripped away from the ship—by FBI helicopters and trucks, shot in the foot by their own people—before she can even think how to possibly reach him.

She comes, slowly, to trust this other man John, though he won’t believe her about Mulder’s abduction. She takes her prenatal vitamins with decaf coffee in the morning, grimacing at the taste. Her mother doesn’t understand, but brings her soup, crackers, ginger ale. She sits on the couch and watches her daughter cry, pats her knee with the empathy of a woman who has been pregnant and alone for long stretches, though never quite like this.

There is a sense of pressure in her belly, of fullness always, like she’s eaten too much, like there’s no more room. On a fuzzy monochrome screen she finds the shape of a peanut, hears the whoosh whoosh of a tiny heart and thinks Oh Mulder, it’s real. The doctor tells her that January 9 is her due date and she thanks her, takes the plasticky printout of the ultrasound paper to hang on her fridge. She touches the peanut shape in the mornings while she drinks her bad coffee alone.

A month goes by. Then two.

The air crackles hot in August and she burns with it—she has too much blood for this heat. Her suits are too tight, her skin is too tight. Her organs complain until one day she doubles over in pain as her strained abdominals split to make room for all her internal shifting. She thinks of those gestating monsters screeching to life in jelly-like bodies, of explosions of blood and claws in the Arizona heat.

“Agent Scully, you alright?” Doggett grips her arm and tries to straighten her, but the tearing sensation grows. She pulls the trashcan to her and vomits. He brings her water in a paper cup.

“You have some bad sushi or somethin’?” he asks.

She smiles at him sadly as she gets hold of herself. “Not quite.” She needs to tell him. The concerned look on his face pushes her over the edge. “I’m pregnant,” she says, and his concern turns to utter shock. When she tells him how far along, a new kind of understanding comes onto his face, but he doesn’t ask questions, for which she is very grateful. Eventually, he forgives her for not telling him sooner.

Two days after her confession, a crackling, distant voice comes through her phone. “Agent Scully,” it says: Gibson’s far-away voice. “Agent Scully, it’s coming back.”

She packs two bags and flies west.

_+_

Helena Montana, a drab motel room: Gibson, Scully, Doggett, Skinner.

“They’re bringing them back,” Gibson said, blunt as ever: “They’ve changed their brains.”

Doggett, pacing the small room, pinched his lips in frustration. “What are you talkin’ about?”

Behind his wire-framed glasses, the teenager narrowed his eyes. “They changed their brains so they can’t fight back. Mulder and the others. So they can’t fight back like I can.”

On the room’s small desk, a police radio squawked, and they all listened to hear if it were news. When it became clear that it wasn’t, Scully turned to Gibson.

“What you can do, that’s something that can be turned on, right? In some people or in everyone?”

The boy shrugged. “I don’t know. But it’s why they wanted me so badly before. It’s why they’re still after me now.”

Skinner heaved a sigh and stood from the desk chair, but with John’s pacing, there was nowhere to go. “Alright, so now what? They’re just turning off this god module or whatever it is and dropping everyone back off? That’s it? We just wait to collect their trash?” Scully bit her lip to keep from objecting to this. Realizing what he’d said, Skinner winced, then softened his features.

“I think what’s important here,” Scully said, “is that we find the people who were taken and make sure they’re okay, and that we protect Gibson and any others who might help us win whatever might lie ahead. That means Gibson should stay here when we go out, and someone needs to stay with him.”

Skinner and Doggett looked at each other for a moment, battling it out in steely gazes. “I’ll stay with him,” Doggett said eventually.

“No,” Gibson’s eyes were wide. “Agent Scully has to stay.”

“What? No, I’m not staying. If Mulder is out there, I need to get to him.”

For the first time, Gibson looked frightened. He reached out his hand and touched Scully’s arm. “I couldn’t tell before, which is good. That means they don’t know either.” Wide eyes peering up at her, an unusual nervousness to his speech. “Agent Scully, your baby is like me.”

---

There were tears, some arguing, but in the end, they trusted Gibson. Skinner and Doggett patrolled as much land as they could until the reports started coming through the staticky radio: strange lights, electrical disturbances, car crashes from distracted drivers. And then—people in a field. Dazed. Lost. Uncertain how they’d gotten there.

Scully had taken up the path of Doggett’s pacing, hand on her belly, ear to the radio always. People in a field. People, not bodies. She felt little flutters of movement from inside her, sparked by her agitation, her restlessness. She thought: Be calm. I’m sorry. It’s okay.

The movements slowed.

She looked at Gibson, who was reading on one of the double beds. She saw him now as he must have been: an infant, someone’s child, a toddler stacking blocks: loved. And what he’d become: quarry, fodder, a weapon in someone else’s war: hunted. How few times she’d bothered to see him as the former, she thought, ashamed.

“Gibson, where are your parents?” She asked.

He looked up at her suddenly, as if in surprise. A little smile turned up the corner of his mouth. “You know, no one has asked me that in a long time.” He thought for a moment. “I don’t think they’re dead, but I haven’t seen them since I first met you. I think those men who wanted me took them.”

“And you haven’t tried to find them?”

He shook his head. “Not safe.”

Scully looked at his socked feet stretched out and stacked on the bed, his too-big tshirt, his khakis with holes in the knee. “Do you miss them?” she asked.

The smile was gone now. “Yeah.”

She walked over and sat beside him, put her arm around the boy, who stiffened at first before relaxing. She wondered how long it had been since someone hugged him. “I’m sorry,” she said. “If… when we figure all this out, we’ll find your parents. We’ll make sure you have a family to stay with. Even if it’s us.”

Before the silence could stretch into awkwardness, her cell phone rang: it was Skinner.

“We got him,” he said. “I’m bringing him to you.”

---

They’d thought the location random—chosen for its sparse population, its vast expanses of open land, perhaps. But they were wrong. A UFO cult, a cluster of abductees in the outskirts of Helena had been kept off the map. This trip was a dropoff and a pickup, another round of collecting and neutralizing potential human weapons. Scully found this out later. After.

Skinner brought him back whole, as he’d promised, only three months late. Scully was out the door and on the sidewalk before the engine of Skinner’s rental car cut off, and they were flying to each other across a motel parking lot, crashing into each other with arms and lips and legs while Skinner stood awkwardly and rubbed his bald head.

“You’re back, you’re back,” she was saying into his mouth and his hand was buried in her hair as he fell back against the car with the weight of her, his muscles weak from disuse. “Are you okay?” Genuine concern in her voice, but she was also nearly laughing with relief, with the unbelievable solid weight of him here in her arms. He was wearing the same clothes he’d disappeared in, as if no time at all had passed.

Mulder kissed her again, buried his face in her neck. “I’m fine,” he said. “Just a little weak. A little confused.”

She touched his chin to lift his head, to look at him, touched his hairline, searched for new scars: two small ones at either temple and her bottom lip was trembling. “Oh Mulder, your poor head.”

He was shaking it, though, his soft hair tickling against her palms. “Nah, it’s okay. I don’t think there’s much more they can knock loose. Maybe even straightened things up a bit in there.” He smiled sheepishly. The look on her face was everything at once: love and relief and gratitude and sorrow and lust and hope.

“I missed you,” she whispered.

He kissed her again. “If I could remember, I’d know I missed you too.”

She took his hands and pulled him toward the motel. “Come on. There’s a lot to talk about, and then you need to rest.”

---

When all five of them were in the room, they talked about everything but one—the one thing she was saving to tell him in private. They tossed around ideas about how to save the world, Mulder and Scully thigh-to-thigh on one of the beds, inseparable. Doggett kept glancing at them, glancing away, fascinated by the magnetic pull of their presence together in a room. Skinner was used to it and untroubled. Gibson, overhearing things the others could not, blushed occasionally and looked perhaps the most uncomfortable of all. But it grew late and they could not know all the answers in one night.

Mulder and Scully rented a third room for themselves where, in the dim illumination of a bedside lamp, she held out her hand to him and gestured for him to sit. When he did, she lowered herself beside him, not touching. She was suddenly terrified in the small room, which smelled like very old cigarettes and cheap air freshener. He was watching her with increasing concern; she was gnawing her lower lip, afraid he wouldn’t be as happy about this news as she, afraid he would see it somehow as a betrayal, a weakness, a call to give up—all the things she knew he’d feared at one time.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” she said finally, eyes locked firmly on their feet, on his boots, still scuffed with Oregon mud.

“What?” he asked.

“I… I’m not sure how,” she began, careful with each word, “but it seems that sometime last year, something changed for me. Physically.” She chanced a quick look at him, found only concern and question. He pulled her hand into both of his and squeezed her fingers, offering encouragement. “Whatever infertility I experienced after my abduction… Mulder, it’s gone. I am most certainly not infertile anymore.”

His eyes narrowed at her words, considering them carefully, and then widened as he realized their import—she could almost see his heart beating, could almost hear it over the rattling of the air conditioner. “Scully,” he said. He swallowed. “How do you know?”

She almost pulled her hand away, sure he would let go anyway when she spoke her next words. “Because I’m pregnant,” she said, and then watched him carefully: “With your baby.” And goddamnit, she couldn’t help it, there was a smile tugging at her lips, even through her fear, because she’d hoped for and imagined this moment so many times in the last months, and here he was, alive and whole. They hadn’t talked about children again, not since they’d been together, not since that terrible time between Emily and Antarctica, and she had no idea what he might be thinking now.

“With my…” he said, trailing off, his face utterly inscrutable.

“I’m sorry to tell you like this. Before you were taken, I didn’t know.” She watched his face, anxious for any sign. She began to pull her hand away, but he held it tight. He lifted his eyes to hers: hooded, lost, vulnerable, but also… hopeful.

“My baby, Scully?”

Another twitch of a smile, her own hope irrupting. “Yeah.”

He did let go of her hand then, but only to touch her further, to pull her arms away so he could gaze at her middle, to pluck at the buttons of her black blazer. “How… how far along?”

She helped him with the buttons, revealed the gentle slope of her abdomen, a softness he’d not seen in her since before she was abducted. “About eighteen weeks,” she said. His fingers spread out, itching to feel, and then, so so gingerly, he touched her middle. Scully’s eyes closed at the sheer enormity of it, the feel of his hands, the knowledge of his understanding, finally finally. One of his hands moved to her cheek and she opened her eyes to his: wet and hopeful, sure and steady in his love. She cupped his face as well, and they looked at each other with thumbs to cheeks and lips as they had in his doorway a year ago.

“Are you okay?” she asked, tentative.

“Okay?” His eyebrows lifted. “Scully, this…” he was shaking his head and then grinning, remembering the warmth of his vision of a boy on the beach, the enormous flood of love he’d felt for her then, that he felt for her now, that he felt for some hypothetical child he hadn’t even known was possible. “I am so very okay, Scully.” And he kissed her again, one hand still on her belly, whispering into her mouth how much he loved her and how fucking happy he was going to make her, and she reveled in it for as long as she could, for a moment longer, drunk on this brief moment of pure hope and possibility, before she pulled back and held his eyes again.

“There’s more,” she said, because it was them, and of course there was more, and there was always something to haunt their happiness, always some cloud holding a future storm. Two parents, each exposed to different strains of a virus, both exposed to a vaccine, both exposed to the markings of a miraculous ship: epigenetic conjury working itself along their every double helix, activating, switching on in the tiny cells that would later become their child (and yes, though they could not know it then, in time their children). It was science and mysticism and love-magic, combining like a perfect syzygy. It was the history of them, their lives, their suffering, their work, their love, emerging of some dark alchemy into a perfect future person, housed now beneath his palm. “The baby will be like Gibson,” she said: a weapon and a target and a key.

“But it’s ours,” he whispered—it was a question and a statement.

“Yes,” she said. “Only ours. Of that I’m sure.” And therefore so much more than merely weapon, target, key.

She hauled him onto the bed with her and they stripped each other bare. His mouth found all the newish parts of her changing body and poured its devotions onto each in turn. Her skin was on fire, her body aflame with reunion and relief and the hot glow of life in her every heartbeat. Her toes curled against the hair of his calves. Her back stretched in an arc, pressing ever toward him. She could feel her pulse between her legs. She begged him to cut his worship short and to just please fuck her now because she was dying without him and she’d been dying this whole time, even though her insides said otherwise, and she needed him everywhere but mostly inside her now. He did not need convincing. He gave and she took and she gave and he took and they came together in sweetness, then collapsed in a tangle of arms and legs, his fingers on her belly. He rubbed small circles, wishing he could feel the same little movements she could. They slept and slept until the sun was high and Skinner was banging on their door.

They answered, barely dressed and blinking against the too-bright August sunshine. There was more to do. Always more: paperwork and planes to catch and the news of more abductions. The syndicate may have been ash in the wind, but the war raged on, indefinite.

_+_

This is the truth that they learn: that there are no happy endings, no tragic endings, no endings at all really—only the infinite struggle, the work, the dark seeping in at the edges, and their love to push it back. There are moments, stringing out into the future. He fingers the monochrome peanut shape on the ultrasound tacked to her fridge, and a faraway smile booms on his lips. She presses the tips of his fingers to her belly where she swears there’s a foot, but he shakes his head. She tells him soon. He drinks her bad coffee in the morning (“It’s decaf, sorry”) while they plot a new resistance against the end times, elbow to elbow at her kitchen table.

Without much fuss, they request transfers to Quantico for consulting work, where they can stay below the radar. They let his apartment lease run out, and his things crowd into her space for a time. Doggett suggests a new partner for the X-Files, a woman with the right kind of background, and then they are six against the world including Gibson, nine with the Gunmen.

“Do you want to know?” The doctor asks.

They look at each other. There’s such giddiness in his eyes: he is bouncing on his toes and she bites her lip to stop from laughing. The gel on her abdomen has warmed to match the temperature of her skin. She nods, unable to deny his excitement. “Okay.”

A new image joins the peanut: a bigger peanut but with vaguely humanoid features, a tiny hand in the air (“He’s waving!”).

He finds some land, a farmhouse: isolated, but not too far. He buys it. They will let her lease run out as well. They move, which takes too long because he won’t let her carry anything heavier than a lamp. She doesn’t mind. She feels overflowing and overfull: ready already, though she has a month to go yet. On the creaky floorboards of their new (old) porch, he tells her to close her eyes.

“Oh no,” she says. “What have you done?”

“Just close your eyes!”

She does, and he leads her through the door, aligns her body where he wants it, fiddles with something, and then says, “Okay, open.”

It’s a Christmas tree: a pathetic little thing, exactly what her Charlie Brown would pick, but he’s done the lights up and they shine so pretty. There’s only one ornament, a little white bassinette. She can’t help it: she cries.

The heater clanks and the water pressure isn’t perfect, but the place is. The house is so utterly them, with her heirloom bookshelves, her modest antiques, his ridiculous kitsch and clutter (an alien bobblehead on the mantle joins her carefully chosen candles). His Navajo blanket finally meets her plush couch and clashes terribly, wonderfully. Her boxes, marked in color-coded labels, come open beside the ones marked “Mulder stuff” in hasty sharpie. Their things forge a strange and heady intimacy of contradiction that parallels their own story.

On their first real night in the house, they grin stupidly at each other across the pillows in the light of a waxing moon. It feels impossible. They grasp the moment and hold it anyway. His arm breaches the space between them, hand cupping her belly. “What is that, a knee? Feels too big.”

She finds where his fingers are and laughs. “That’s his butt. Look, see, he’s still sort of sideways. But his head is moving down.”

“That’s good, right?”

Another goofy smile. “Yeah.”

He brushes her cheek with his knuckles, so in love with her he can’t stand it. “Three weeks,” he whispers, and she nods. But after a moment, the smile fades. The house settles and creaks around them. The bed sheets rustle as she rolls to her back.

“I’m worried,” she says.

“About the birth?”

A frown as she thinks. “In a way, but not how you think. I’ve been thinking of how embedded the syndicate was in the medical establishment, how vulnerable spaces like hospitals are when our enemies can look like anyone.”

He’s frowning now too. “Do you think someone will try to take him?”

A pause, a bit too long. “I don’t know.” She rolls to face him again, the weight on her back too much. “Probably not.”

“That’s not good enough. What can we do?” he asks.

“I may have an idea,” she says.

---

On New Year’s Day it snows, a fine white coating at dusk. They stand on the porch to watch, he wrapped in his well-worn blanket, she in his arms. The sound of the snow is like leaves rustling, but steady, persistent, soft. “They’ll be here,” he says; his voice rumbles against her back, chin moving against the top of her hair.

“Even in the snow?”

He kisses her head and wraps the blanket more tightly around them. “Yeah.”

The Lone Gunmen come bearing gadgets and Gibson, who has been staying with them. Frohike wears a red stocking cap and holds up a bottle of whiskey. “Happy Holidays!”

“We saw you for Christmas a week ago, Melvin.” Mulder is laughing as he lets them all in.

“The holiday is not over until the clock strikes midnight on January 2, and you can quote me on that.” He slaps the bottle of whiskey against Mulder’s chest on his way past.

Around the table, they eat and are merry, some faces growing redder from high spirits of all kinds, others from the fire. They have brought Gibson to be their guard, their alarm should the wrong person come near, but also as their friend. He will stay until the baby is born, and after if he likes. It’s been so long since he’s known family.

On the twelfth, she feels the first real contraction and by evening, she is breathing hard through them. Arms linked around his neck, she hangs and sways, moving her hips.

“Should I make the call?” He asks, and she nods. “I’ll make the call.”

The midwife arrives at nine, certified, but illegal in the state of Virginia. She is a spunky woman of sixty, well vetted by both the Gunmen and Gibson, who lets her in and smiles at whatever he hears in her mind. He stays by the door when the excitement moves upstairs.

Maggie appears next, and her daughter cries when she sees her. “Oh, mom,” she says, teary, sweating, gripping Mulder’s arms in only a tank-top and underwear. “How did you do this four times?” And then she is racked again by another contraction, burying her face in Mulder’s chest. He rubs her back and murmurs encouragement for a full two minutes of quiet groans.

By two a.m. she is on her knees on the stripped bed, gripping the footboard and leaning back, pushing hard as Mulder holds her gaze and whispers words of love. He is born at 2:36 a.m. on January 13: William Scully Mulder, red and roaring, caught by his father and lifted straight into his mother’s arms with tears all around, save the midwife, who smiles and checks and makes notes and says, “Oh Dana, you did so well.”

By the time the first light of dawn breaks through the bedroom windows, the midwife has gone home and the little family sits propped on pillows, in warm blankets and soft pajamas on the remade bed. William has been wiped clean and nursed, weighed and measured, swaddled and kissed. He sleeps the dreamless and hard-earned sleep of the newly born. His parents’ eyes move between each other and the child, not sure what else to do under the weight of what this night has brought.

Maggie tiptoes in with two mugs of tea, which she sets on the bedside table. “Do you want me to take him? You two should sleep. I don’t mind.”

Scully nods and gratefully passes William to his grandmother, who says goodnight and slips into the nursery.

In the quiet of their bedroom, they are alone again, dazed by the enormity of the wide, unimaginable future. Mulder cups her face, kisses her nose, her lips. “You’re incredible,” he says.

“I’m a mess,” she says, and laughs.

“Let’s do it again,” he says, and the look she gives him could shatter glass. But she is smiling, too.

“Things might be okay,” she reasons, posing it as both a question and a statement.

“Yeah. I think they might.” He bumps her shoulder, nips at her ear, pulls her down into the blankets and pillows to rest.

There are still worlds to save, still many battles in this endless war. But there are other kinds of moments waiting, too. Here is where they will hold their ground: in this house and in each other.

- end -

This was probably the hardest thing I’ve written because the pacing and reconstructing a new plot for s8 didn’t seem to fit with the way I’d told the other installments. I was a grumbly mess for a long time in writing it, and I’m still not totally happy. But thanks so much for reading. Tagging @peacenik0 who listened to me complain, and @kateyes224 who offered a quick second pair of eyes and some reassurance. Thank you, friends!

[burnouts3s3]

Sweet Blue Flowers, an anime review

(Disclaimer: The following is a non-profit unprofessional blog post written by an unprofessional blog poster. All purported facts and statement are little more than the subjective, biased opinion of said blog poster. In other words, don’t take anything I say too seriously.) Just the facts 'Cause you're in a Hurry! Manufacturer’s Suggested Retail Price for Season (MSRP): 38.12 USD Animation Studio: J.C. Staff Licensed and Localized by: Nozomi Entertainment, a studio of Right Stuf Inc. Audio: Japanese Audio with Subtitles available Length per Episode: 25 Minutes on average. 21 Without Intro and Ending song. Number of Discs: 3 DVD Discs in total.   Episodes per Disc: 3 or 4. Also on: Amazon Video and Crunchyroll, a subscription based service that allows streaming for shows. Free streaming is available with ads. Bonus Features: Clean opening, TV spots, character art gallery, and original U.S. trailer. How much I paid: Nothing. I viewed it on Crunchyroll. Number of Episodes: 11 Episodes Price per Episode: 3.50 USD on physical. 1.99 if bought digitally. My Personal Biases: I actually saw Sweet Blue Flowers a while back but never reviewed it. I like other shows in the Shoujo Ai genre such as Mai Hime, Mai Otome, Maria Watches over Us, Strawberry Panic and yes, even Kannazuki no Miko/Destiny of the Shrine Maiden.   My Verdict: Beautiful. Heartwarming. Cute. Incomplete. Like most anime adaptations based off a manga, Sweet Blue Flowers makes the mistake of trying to adapt directly from the source material. Unfortunately, with already slow pacing halting to a standstill, most viewers may not have the patience to sit through Sweet Blue Flowers. Add to that Akira’s development happening later in the series, and you have a beautiful but unfinished story that’s told. Give this one a shot and read the rest in the manga.   Warning: SPOILERS Sweet Blue Flowers, an anime review

When the term adaptation comes to mind, the team working behind the project has to make a decision on how closely to adapt from the source material. Too often, many creative teams take the source material as a bible and shoot from there, not realizing the act of translating from one medium to another means certain elements get lost in the shuffle and things that worked in the manga do not work on the screen. While long running Shounen titles such as Naruto, Bleach, Dragonball Z, One Piece, Fairy Tail, Black Clover, My Hero Academia, Yu Yu Hakusho, Hunter x Hunter, and others benefit from direct page to screen adaptation, Shoujo Ai or Yuri series usually have to operate on not only a limited budget but a limited run time as well. And doing a direct adaptation of a long running manga for 12 episodes can usually result in disaster. Someone once said “You can make a good adaptation out of anything, but sometimes you have to rip its guts out.” This is why series like Kannazuki no Miko/Destiny of the Shrine Maiden worked (in spite of itself, I’ll remind readers and fans of the show) since it added characterization and plot elements that wasn’t in the original source material and wasn’t directly adapting it (Thank God!). Meanwhile, a show like Sasameki Koto/Whispered Words stumbles because it’s trying so hard to do a direction 1 for 1 adaptation from manga to screen that newcomers who weren’t familiar with the manga got bored. (You want to know how badly Sasameki Koto did as an anime in terms of sales and viewership? The anime series bombed so badly, it isn’t even localized in the States and was rumored to kill the Yuri genre for the next few years.)   And unfortunately, trying too hard to adapt directly from the source material is the main thing that kills Sweet Blue Flowers. Akira Okudaira, who is an entering high school student into Fujigaya Girls Academy, becomes reacquainted with her childhood friend Fumi Manjōme whom she has not seen for ten years. Fumi is attending Matsuoka Girl's High School where she quickly becomes friends with a handsome third-year student named Yasuko Sugimoto. Akira joins her school's drama club with her friend and classmate Kyōko Ikumi, who is in love with Yasuko, though Yasuko turns her down. Yasuko and Fumi become a couple, and Fumi comes out to Akira who is at first unsure on how to act, but still tries to support Fumi's new relationship. The main focus centers on Fumi. Fumi, despite being the taller of the two girls, is a shy unsure introvert unsure of her own sexuality and sexual orientation. She deals with heartbreak after heartbreak, seeing girls she has crushes on, such as her biological cousin which she had a fling with to Yasuko, an older girl who might or might not have sexual feelings with her. Fumi’s day to day strife and her coming to terms with her sexuality is one of the more interesting struggles of a lesbian character having to see play on screen. It’s subtle but tangible. Every so often, you see the shifts in movements and physical ticks that show off how uncomfortable Fumi is and certain scenes where characters are simply talking idly hit like a truck. As I go back and re-watch the series, I lot of things that flew over my head the first time started making sense. For example, I actually related to the character of Yasuko Sugimoto, thinking she made a good pair with Fumi, only to realize on subsequent viewings that Sugimoto was actually using Fumi for her own emotional growth. It’s an interesting take on abusive/toxic relationships; Sugimoto doesn’t intend to cause harm but her own immaturity and impulsiveness end up causing harm anyway.   So when Sugimoto asks to come back to Fumi after Sugimoto hastily broke up with her and Fumi flat out rejects her, it’s just the best feeling in the world. Fumi has actually grown in her own way and found confidence in herself without needing to be in a relationship. The biggest casualty of the show is Akira. While she’s present and does have character, her development is sidelined since it comes much later in the series. As such, it’s weird how the show keeps coming back to her as though she were an important figure when the show itself covers more about the relationship between Fumi and Sugimoto. Based on the show’s advertisement and introduction, you’d expect Akira to be a bigger part of the show. So it’s unfortunate she’s pushed to the background for the Sugimoto and Fumi relationship. Worst yet, since the chapters in question were rather short and minimalist, the anime had to pad out certain scenes to stretch them out. For example, Fumi has a conversation about how to use her phone. This plays no major role whatsoever in the plot of the episode. The final episode ends on Christmas Eve as Akira and Fumi spend time looking at their old elementary school. It is at that point Fumi realizes she’s been in love with Akira this whole time. But before the two can pursue their eventual relationship, the anime series ended. Yuri adaptations do not tend to sell well and with the lackluster sales and ratings, Sweet Blue Flowers, the anime, was cancelled while the rest of the story continues on in the manga. Ken’ichi Kasai’s direction is subtle but powerful. Fumihiko Takayama’s writing takes the best of the manga and explodes it onto the screen. Takefumi’s Haketa’s music will move your heartstrings. But, the story is sadly incomplete. Unfortunately, there a little to no extras in the DVD/Blu-ray Release. Just the Opening and Ending song with no text. CAVEAT: I don’t hate Sweet Blue Flowers; it’s just that adapting a manga this slow and this subtle was always going to be an uphill battle. Add to that the short amount of content (11 episodes, not even 12!) and the high price tag, as well as Akira not getting the screentime she does in the manga, I’m going to definitely have to say wait for a drop in price point. (Again, Yu Yu Hakusho 20 bucks for 28 episodes. I can get 39 episodes of DBZ for 20 bucks. Sweet Blue Flowers is 38 dollars for 11 episodes.) As an adaptation, Sweet Blue Flowers not only does justice to its source material but at times transcends it to give the fans what they want. But, taken as its own work, taken as a simple 11 episode series, taken as meant for people who are ‘not’ fans or familiar with the source material, I can only assume they would be left with a feeling of “that’s it”? Verdict: Wait for a sale or watch it on Crunchyroll. If you’re truly interested in the story, try the manga instead.

[elizabethrobertajones]

It is I, plot twisty. I was wondering if you could link me to some stuff you have written about Castiel's trench coat (bc I'm 99% sure you have) I'm just so excited because I love the new one so much. Also, I happen to be the person asking about the Winchesters and plaid shirts in season 12. I loved the way you analyzed the clothes of the characters and your attention to detail, because that stuff mostly remains unseen by my humble eyes. (Also I think you have a tag for the clothes stuff?!?)

Aaah hi! Were you why I wrote a 1000 mile long post with a screen cap of every shirt Mary wore in season 12? You are most welcome back in my inbox, that was a ton of fun :D 

I think my trenchcoat tag (the serious one not the “sam shoe saga” where all the fashion nonsense goes) has largely got other people’s meta in it because so much awesome stuff has been written before I ever got there so I mostly just summarise what everyone else has said when asked :P It’s like the Car Is Dean’s Soul thing: I’m 100% behind it but other people are way more into it so… :P I mean I will write the trenchcoat stuff and sob about it but @floatingaboveclouds​ really picked it up a while back (and sadly she’s been not around much lately) and at the moment @gneisscastiel​ is sobbing about it all the time. 

Aah my “trenchcoat meta” tag isn’t even on my tag list… See, there’s always something :P

http://floatingaboveclouds.tumblr.com/post/100097338173/cas-trench-coat-meta

This is what I always think of as the Definitive Trenchcoat Meta just because I read it first, ages ago, and it really got me into it :P 

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/133234217428/excuse-me-while-i-need-a-moment

Some thoughts about VERY early Cas and coat stuff.

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/96865417548/interruptingpanda-savingsammyhuntingdestiel

Me being sad about it in 7x17

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/147044421392/dustydreamsanddirtyscars-8x07-a-little-slice

A season 8/9x01 look at it (I mean… written at LEAST after season 10 if I remember but from the POV of 8x07 about the early Carver era trenchcoat stuff we usually skip before going right to the new trenchcoat and all the nonsense they use it for :P)

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/105554354818/today-is-one-of-those-days-i-find-myself-having-a

Oh and more on the original coat and Cas’s identity (circa 9x23 at least)

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/117930210038/jimmys-clothing-meta-10x20-edition

Some overview on Cas up to 9x09 and Jimmy in general

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/149775846930/castiel-knight-of-hell-i-know-we-all-miss

This is a like 1 line meta on the new coat in 9x10

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/161446778708/littlehollyleaf-neven-ebrez-cas-jacket-is

Here’s a season 9 original - I think the first post really yelling about the discovery of the plaid under the collar!

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/164795829481/mittensmorgul-littlehollyleaf-drsilverfish 

This is a great one from 9x18 when it aired that I stumbled on recently but remember reading at the time so it was one of my Formative Meta Experiences (I just didn’t reblog a whole lot until the season 9-10 hiatus really started so all this great stuff is kind of lost to time to me unless I’m blog snooping and stumble on it >.> Thankfully I blog snoop a lot.)

I’m so frustrated because I can’t find my reblog (if I ever did) of the deleted scene gifs of Cas sewing the trenchcoat with commentary about him doing Human Things™… >.> My blog from before like… late season 10/the hiatus after… is really badly tagged so the good stuff is all a mystery :P

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/130068247568/littlehollyleaf-4persephone-i-actually-find

(I found another!)

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/97817693623/a-deep-shade-of-blue-is-always-there

Here’s a season 9-10 hiatus post from me where I talk about how the combination of coat and song got me to ship Destiel textually because it was all so intrinsically linked and the whole deeper symbolism of what the coat means to Cas and how the lyrics in that song used it.

https://justanotheridijiton.tumblr.com/post/98218136134

And the no need for words version… >.>

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/163908715733/gneisscastiel-replied-to-your-post

This one I wrote myself recently about Metatron in 9x22 trying on the coat and what I thought it meant in this context (as you can see I am still basically in a season 9 mindset about it :P)

https://justanotheridijiton.tumblr.com/post/142607939029/the-plaid-trenchie

Mel has all the gratuitous plaid shots…

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/101030511793/deathbyspookyopen-hallowedbecastiel-10x02

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/100110462763/can-we-talk-about-how-as-soon-as-cas-went-through

This from 10x02 but the first doesn’t take into account that in the shot of Hannah putting the coat over Cas WE can see the plaid, I guess just from her perspective she misses it or doesn’t understand the symbolism (especially not that everyone leaped on the meta idea of “being draped in the flag of heaven” and what her actions were doing :P) - Floatingaboveclouds’s original Trenchcoat Meta is circa this episode and explains it best and it’s sort of the words in the back of my head about that scene all the time now.

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/147389591616/cas-crowley-trench-coats-and-parallels

Something from 10x14 which makes perfect sense because the new trenchcoat was from 9x10 but I just skim read the post and I’m not 100% sure they really got into it like I would have…

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/116643283603/cas-trench-coat-meta-10x18-edition

For 10x18 and Cas taking off his coat there :D

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/131414819958/cas-trench-coat-meta-11x02-edition

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/131982763978/cas-clothing-meta-11x03-edition-part-1

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/131983260278/cas-clothing-meta-11x03-edition-part-2

Some early season 11 meta!

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/138413634723/heey-i-rewatched-11x06-and-i-think-cas-is

Some thoughts about Cas in the start of season 11 and parallels to Casifer and how he was wearing Cas’s clothes…

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/139716966318/why-is-casifer-shown-wearing-the-coat-in-the-next

11x15 and some more thoughts on Casifer

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/158190035758/do-you-think-cas-would-change-into-another-outfit

This is from earlier this hiatus giving an overview but I think I should add now with hindsight, talking about a full wardrobe upheaval, because there’s obviously different meaning in Cas going right back to something nearly identical to his original get up, and I’d rather muse on what that means when I know HOW he ends up with his new costume for season 13, so that’s a meta I’ll only write after 13x06. No leather jacket yet. >.> 

Here’s some interesting takes on it with a different perspective:

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/163901981347/a-study-in-trench-coat

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/163903036052/heya-hope-youre-having-a-good-day-onwards-with

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/163786906919/gneisscastiel-as-season-13-approaches-i-have

All of this is informing my thoughts right now on it and I know there’s a bunch of meta I missed… I mean just scrolling these posts I’m sure there’s gaps in trenchcoat-related events that I or others have talked about and uuugh even when I try and collect all the meta I’ve tagged badly in the past or was too shy when I was new to fandom and missed a whole bunch of the most important posts at the end of season 9 which drastically shaped how I read the show… I’m always happy to talk MORE about it :P

I guess adding this all up the one thing I can say about the new trenchcoat for season 13 is that is it a trenchcoat and that means it carries all this baggage, just as the 2nd one carried the baggage of the first, but it’s in a different form. If Cas picked it for himself, it will be like 9x10 and 8x07, where he chooses to go back to the original look. If it’s picked for him it will be a different story - more like 7x17 or 9x18 or 11x06 - times when he put the coat on hesitantly or was given a strong push to go for a choice that wasn’t particularly a choice, or because someone else was shaping his image for him. 

10x01-3 especially were LADEN with Cas identity stuff and included a lot of messing around with the trenchcoat, and it was also the first part of the show I enjoyed in fandom meta-ing with everyone else, so I have ideas about it very planted in my head :P I think I will always associate it with his angelic identity as the “flag of heaven” because of the 9x18/9x22/9x23 synergy about Cas, Metatron, and all the stuff going on between them. I think that whole chunk of the show with 9x14 as an outlier on one end and 10x18 on the other but mostly the end of season 9 and start of season 10 separated Cas out to tell a very specific story about who he was and what he wanted, and the trenchcoat played a huge part in that symbolism. And that starts with him picking a new one in 9x10 when re-asserting his angel identity (after joining in as a hunter in 9x09 in the same get up including the season 10-12 tie in an early appearance) and that act in itself was a sort of “be useful to the Winchesters or die human” scenario, and so I think like Dean on the phone in 9x09, I am very suspicious about Cas’s choice actually saying anything about what he WANTS when it comes to his identity, and the main block of episodes about this unpack it a lot more…

If Cas comes back in a new trenchcoat which is like the original flavour one, it might be like what it was used for in 8x07 - a “everything is okay” red flag that Cas put himself back together for appearances’ sake but of course he was being controlled by Naomi and it was the first scene Dean voices his immediate suspicions Cas did not come back naturally and there was something fishy about it - which of course he carries on worrying about until the Crypt Scene when it all becomes clear, and then Cas only stays in that outfit a handful more episodes until he becomes human and has to pick drinking water over maintaining the image and wearing his original battle armour.

There’s also the fact the trenchcoat IS the original battle armour to him and like in 9x18 or 11x06 the new one at very least feels like armour and we can see him using it as that emotionally… It’s not a bad thing for him to have a new old trenchcoat style to mimic how he used to be if it’s for his own strength and comfort… I just think that overall he’s headed in a different way than staying in the trenchcoat forever and a 3rd variation is going to be fascinating. I hope there’ll be a lot to comment on, like with the 2nd one when it was new there was like 2 seasons of heavy exploration of it as a meta subject before they sort of chilled out again and it became a more incidental feature. Or the times Cas had the original restored to him or like how it looked in Purgatory (see! even more incidents I couldn’t quickly find a post on :P)

And of course there’s the mystery about what Cas might wear while he’s dead, why he’s in a $2600 suit in the first scene of 13x06, and so on and so on. Season 13 has SO many more ways to fuck with us before we get to the new coat :P 

[agl03]

Housekeeping

Since I think things are really going to get going here the next few weeks I just wanted to get some housekeeping items out there.  .

First and foremost I AM NOT A SPOILER FREE BLOG!   I post news, articles, and spoilers as soon as I get them.  Many of my ask responses will also contain spoilers.  I tag everything with aos spoilers so you can blacklist if need be.  By the same token I may hold off on posting something until I can get it confirmed better by one of my more reliable sources.

There are things that I won't post.  If something is SUPER Spoilery, ie an oops from someone who was on set,  in that I don't want the Marvel Snipers knowing we've seen it.  That's how we lose sources.  

I am going to be making some changes to how I do things for Season 5.   The biggest will be I am not going to do my big post episode meta anymore.   They were taking me hours to do and most of the time I repeat everything in them in asks or a spoiler will totally trash what I had.  I'd rather use that time to get a jump on the ask box.

I will continue to do the promo and article breakdowns.

Asks

During the Season it is not uncommon for me to field 100+ asks a week depending on what kind of news has come out and what kind of cliffhangers the show left off on (and who was involved in said Cliff Hanger).  I LOVE doing these.  I am humbled and honored that so many people send them to me.  

I take them very seriously spending time researching and making sure my responses are as accurate as possible.  However, this can also be very taxing on me personally, especially at stressful times of the season (around finales, sweeps, or at the peak of the story).  I won’t lie, the Framework and its aftermath did a number on me.

So before sending and ask please follow these requests.

Search my blog to see if I have already answered your question.

Please do not send me negativity, drama, or hate for the show or a character.  I sadly am not a writer for the show and I have no control what they do.  I do not like to be used to post and "unpopular opinion" on Anon and these asks will be deleted.

Due to the new night the show is airing it might take me longer to respond, Saturday is a day I dedicate to family and won't be able to work on asks as much during the middle of the day.

My responses and the theories that come up in them are my own.  Again I am not a writer for the show.  And while I do have a knack for predicting things the writers have more than once gone well over the top and done something I said they'd never do.  For the record "they won't go there," is not in my vocabulary this season.  

I totally understand that show related anxiety is a real thing.  I always do my best to calm fandom fears....again this usually at its worst pre premiere and finales.  

Overall I try to keep my answers and my blog positive.  That's not to say I don't need to have a good rant every now and then but for the most part I wont' post negative responses about the show or characters.  

I am going to be incredibly careful with quotes from Jed, Mo, and Jeph after last season.  They mislead us so badly and I don't want to go through that again.  

Theories and Metas

My Theories and Metas are my own.  More than one of these has come true since I started doing this.  But please bear in mind that often I can get the basics IE the Fitznapping last season (down to the second abduction) but the writers take it in a different or darker direction.  So as good as I am, don't bank on me being 100% right.

The Theories tend to evolve as the season does and I will adjust as the episodes air and we get spoilers.  

I also have my personal favorite theories that I know have small chances but will go down the ship with them.

If there is a theory you really like and you want to write a fic on it, GO FOR IT!  I LOVE SEEING MY THEORIES IN FICS!

Once the season gets going I will try to put my more popular theories under the Popular Theories section of my blog for easy access.  

The Kiddo

Those that follow me know that I am a Mommy and have an adorable fan girl that loves AOS.   She loves getting asks so feel free to send one for her.  She honestly worries about you guys, especially after a major plot twist.  

For Season 5 I will continue to post "Through a Child's Eyes" after eps and her reactions to spoilers, peeks, and other news.  

Yes, we are considering taken them to Wondercon again, but it might be a last minute decision like last year.  

Prompts

My muse has struggled for the last few months so I have prompts in my ask box I haven't had a chance to get too.  Feel free to send them but no guarantees I'll be able to fill it.  

During the season I am closed to fic requests.  

Tagging

If you tag me in a post and I don't respond, send me an ask.  I tend to miss when I'm tagged especially in 'busy' times.  

Show Promotion

For as good as I am at predictions...I totally STINK at predicting what the promo team is going to do.   So I have no idea when we will start to see trailers, promo pics, and press releases.  Though I suspect we'll get something good at NYCC...or when I leave my house...leaving my house is a sure fire way of getting something to happen.  

Once the season gets going we'll get into a pattern for each episode.  ABC usually does it:

Title

Title and small Synopsis

Press release with full Synopsis and Guest Stars

Promo Pics

Trailer

Peek 1 from ABC

Peek 2 typically goes to one of the entertainment sites

For super special eps we will get articles, interview, and 'exclusive pics'....mandatory 30 seconds of staring happily at this jewel from Season 3 where most of us lost our minds.  

YAY!  We have the 100th episode this season!!!!  4x12!!!!!!

I think that is everything. Welcome to my new followers and to those who have been with me know that you are appreciated.   I’m looking forward to the season and am anxious to start to see those first official bits of information.