#stanny marsh au

[nutal]

Wait guys im torn between stanny marsh au and woodland stan for the AU(unofficial)/hashtag name which one should it be

ALSO CREDITS TO BOTH ANONS WHO SUBMITTED THESE!!! IF YOU WANT SPECIFIC CREDIT PLEASE LMK

[razzle-zazzle]

if stan's stuck in the woods in your woodland stan au, does that mean his hair gets greasier than usual? wouldn't it get cold out there? what about his clothes, what happens when they get filthy?

"Doesn't it get cold out there?" That's what the den is for, silly! And the hellfire, and Beary and Deery and Foxy and Beavery and Racoony and Rabbity's body heat! Does Stan enjoy being fenced in with hellfire when he tries to leave, or being shuffled into a hole in the ground for bedtime? That doesn't matter! They're keeping him safe and warm :] <- blatant disregard for Stan's choices and desires example #32534

And do you really think the woodland critters are above thievery? They may not like going near human settlements but that won't stop them from stealing all kinds of things for Stan. An extra set of clothes. Old newspapers to read to them. A toy from his room if he's been good. A wholeass road sign, the theft of which has caused many accidents. Really, Stan should be more grateful that they're going to all this effort to give him all these things beyond his basic needs! But of course he'll become grateful with time, because he's one of them! And if there's one thing the woodland critters know, it's gratitude!

They just gotta be patient, and keep involving him. He'll come around eventually, they're sure.

[izzydarkwoodofficial]

next generation of losers🎈

au where eddie and stan haven't died

stenbrough & reddie & benverly are married couples

mike is the legendary aroace uncle that everyone loves

Mike Kaspbrak-Tozier (17)

love child of reddie (eddie kaspbrak-tozier & richie kaspbrak-tozier)

born on 31st october 2017 (08:02 AM)

zodiac sign: scorpio

bisexual and proud

crush on georgie, eventually falls for her brother

EVERYONE ships him with stenbrough kids

birthday twin with his best friend beck

someone HAD to name their kid after mike, bye

extroverted and basically trashmouth

has these schizophrenic phases when he shush himself after saying shit ("shut up, mikey")

has asthma, but smokes ("idiot" - georgie)

only jacob knows how to calm him down when he has anxiety attack

always carries some sort of first-aid kit

loves listening to oldies and playing old video games

his idea was to have matching tattoos

"black nails tell tales" & wears eyeliner

always tease jacob of his dirty little secret ("i don't know what you're talking about, mikey")

secretly wants jacob to wear skirts and dresses (imagining it before falling asleep)

once saw jacob wearing one, that's when it started and thanks to that he realized he fell

jacob calls him 'm'

plays keyboard in their little band losers n°2

Beck Marsh-Hanscom (17)

love child of beverly marsh-hanscom & ben hanscom

born on 31st october 2017 (02:48 PM)

zodiac sign: scorpio

pansexual and loud

basically mama of the group

thinks she likes jacob, but it's georgie all the way, yay

writes poetry and reads a lot

smoking dates with mike

basically get together mike and jacob

EVERYONE has crush on her

never miss a chance to have flowers in hair (georgie LOVES it)

really smart

found out the parallel in hers and her parents' names (be-) at the age of three

flirts a LOT (mainly not on purpose, she's just too kind to everyone around her)

don't mess with her, you're gonna earn a pretty black eye (mike knows what he's talking about)

calling everyone darling is her religion

actually interested in jewishness

wears strawberry chapstick to cover taste of cigarettes when kissing georgie (fails)

introduced boys to make-up and they are deep in that shit now

wants georgie to wear red lipstick, cause it looks hot on her, but she always refuses (after getting together she wears it all the time)

listens to new kids on the block ALL THE TIME

assumed to be fuckgirl, but is just the sweetest

vocalist and plays electric guitar in losers n°2

Jacob Uris-Denbrough (16)

second-born of stanley uris-denbrough & bill uris-denbrough

born on 6th january 2018 (09:21 PM)

zodiac sign: capricorn

gay as fuck

crush on mike almost since the beginning

basically the baby of the group (youngest too)

name after isaac's second-born kid in torah

loves writing & photographing

introverted and shy, but mike thinks it's cute

best friend with his sister (basically glued together)

overprotective over his big sis

stutters when nervous, mad, jealous, upset ("i find your stutters very cute, jc” - mike)

has nightmares a LOT

has OCD

always begging his parents to tell him more about their adventures when they were kids

finds old clubhouse and screams in excitement like little girl ("the stories are true")

secret marijuana dealer

getting high to escape reality when he has writer block and wanna daydream

stopped after mike found him one time and he spilled almost all of his secrets except that one "you're mikey, i'm not telling you my dirty little secret"

steals make-up from his best friend

wanna wear fem clothes, but is too scared to

mike calls him 'jc'

has skills to be a leader, just doesn't wanna be one

have read every single book by his dad and is his first reader and critic when he writes new book (bill always takes his advices to heart)

the most ticklish person you've ever known (mike takes an advantage in that, of course)

calls georgie 'gie'

basically papa stanny's boy

loves spending time with aunties patty & audra

plays drums in losers n°2

Georgie Uris-Denbrough (18)

first-born of stanley uris-denbrough & bill uris-denbrough

born on 15th august 2016 (03:15 AM)

zodiac sign: leo

proud lesbian

in love with beck, but hides it pretty well

definition of soft artist girl aesthetic

more easy-going and extroverted than her brother

overprotective over her lil bro

the oldest in the group

loves birdwatching and painting - mostly birds (and beck, shhh, don't let her hear that)

doesn't like reading at all

sassy queen as her dad, seriously the sassiest in the group and have tendency to shut up mike when he doesn't do it himself (beck finds it REALLY atractive)

more interested in jewishness than her brother

doesn't understand the point of OCD ("why you have to have everything so organised?")

walking artistic mess (brush in hair, doesn't care)

has brushes EVERYWHERE (back pocket of jeans? yeah, that's the safe place for brushes)

name after uncle georgie (jewish tradition to name their kid after dead relative, they believe that the soul of the loved one lives on in the child who now bears his name)

once painted judith on accident (never really saw the painting, just by hearing the stories) - her papa had nightmares after that for full month, her dad almost killed her (with words, ofc) and that's when jacob's nightmares started, she never forgave herself truly after that

calls jacob 'jay'

daddy bill's little girl

"strawberries and cigarettes always taste like you"

plays bass guitar in losers n°2

[inthebreadbinwrites]

you matter to me

this is (late!) for the @itfandomprompts It Fandom Week Day 6 (Famous AU!)

(sorry it’s late, I’m in the process of moving continents!) 

Pairing: Stozier 

Rating: Teen and Up

Warnings: None

***

Three years. Stan hadn’t seen Richie for three years. Then out of the blue, he received an email inviting him to Richie’s Broadway debut. He’d heard of the musical, Waitress. He shouldn’t have been surprised when they cast Richie. He could sing incredibly well, and they’d recently started casting more celebrities, probably to raise sales. He was surprised by the ticket that was sent though. Front row and center. Bev probably forced him to send it.

You see, the three had once been very close. Since diapers, it had been Richie and Stanley. Then it had become Bev, Rich and Stan in middle school. The three musketeers. Then Stan screwed it up like he always did. One drunken night at the end of college had ended a 22-year friendship. He felt bad for Bev, she had been trying to drag the group back together. It never worked though.

Patty waltzed through the door, interrupting his thoughts. “Morning, Stanley.” She chirped, putting a cup of coffee on his kitchen table.

He and Patty had met at his first job, an accounting firm. They had quickly become friends and three years later, they opened Uris & Blum Ltd. He was sure that if he was straight he would have fallen for her, but he was perfectly content with their friendship.

“Morning, Pats.” He took a sip his coffee and sighed, staring back at the email.

“What are you gawking at?” Patty asked, moving to sit next to him. “Oh my gosh! Who sent you Waitress tickets? Was it Richie?”

“I don’t know. You want the ticket? I’m not going to go.” He said. Patty gasped.

“Stanley! You have to go! This could be your chance.” She exclaimed, ruffling his hair.

He fixed his hair and let out a huff of annoyance. “I’m not going. There’s no way in hell.”

 Stan felt his heart jackhammer as he walked to the front of the theatre. There was a fucking ginormous poster of Richie and the lead actress, Audra Denbrough, plastered on the front of the building. Suddenly, he heard a shriek and caught sight of Beverly Marsh running to him. He opened his arms and caught her as she jumped up, giggling.

“Stanley Joshua Uris, it has been way too fucking long.” She said sweetly. He squeezed her tightly. God, he’d missed Bev.

“Hey, Bevvie. I missed you.” She simply hugged him harder in response. Three men walked up to them.

“Oh shit, I should introduce you to everyone.” She let him go and smiled. She gestured to a tall man with sandy blonde hair. “This is my boyfriend, Ben. I told you about him remember.” The man held out his hand and Stan shook it, smiling.

“The short one is Eddie. His boyfriend Mike is playing Ogie.”

“Fucking bite me, Beverly. I’m not that short.” Bev snickered and threw an arm around him. “It’s nice to meet you.”

A tall man with red hair stepped forward. “I’m Bill. My wife, Audra is playing the lead.” Stanley shook Bill’s hand and smiled.

“It’s lovely to meet you all. Should we take our seats?” He asked, seeing people file into the theatre. Bev led them to the theatre and they found their seats. Stan had the best seat in the house.

“Hey, Bev? Thank you for inviting me.” He whispered. She turned around to stare at him in shock.

“Stanny, Richie was the one who bought the ticket and sent it to you. He only told me afterwards.” The opening music started and they were forced to be quiet. Stan sat there in shock.

The musical was admittedly very good. Audra was amazing, as well as Mike. Then Richie came on. Stan couldn’t help but gasp. His hair was shorter and he had contacts and a doctor’s costume but it was undeniably him. Three years had done him well.

Richie was incredible, of course. His chemistry with Audra was off the charts and his dancing had improved considerably since Stan had seen him last. Stan felt overwhelmingly proud.

When the intermission started Bev pulled him aside. “Stan. I don’t know what happened between you guys before we graduated, but you have a chance now. You two have been in love since you were teenagers. Don’t throw it away.”

Stan knew she was right, that his feelings for Richie never disappeared. She hugged him before going to talk to the others. Stan slowly went back to his seat and waited for the second act to start. His heart started beating faster as soon as Richie came on.

When Richie started singing “You Matter To Me”, he knew he had to do something. He watched the rest of the show, a small grin on his face whenever Richie was on. He enjoyed the show as a whole a lot more than he expected and felt slightly disappointed when it ended. The curtain call came on and the actors started doing their bows.

Finally, Richie ran out and took a bow. That’s when he spotted his Stan and his face broke out into a blinding smile. When everyone started vacating the theatre one of the employees came up to him.

“Mr. Uris?” She asked, waiting for a nod. “Richie wants you to come backstage.” He nodded again and followed her to Richie’s dressing room. She smiled and walked off.

Stan took a deep breath and knocked on the door. “Come in!” Richie called out. Stan opened the door and smiled at his former best friend. “Hey, Stan the Man.” They hesitated for a second before Richie engulfed him in a hug.

They stayed like that for a minute or so before an alarm went off on Richie’s phone. ”I should go do stage door. Don’t move.” He pulled on his jacket and grabbed a pen before walking out of the dressing room. Eddie walked in with his boyfriend, Mike.

“Hey, Stan. I thought you should meet Mike.” Mike smiled at him.

“Hey, you were great tonight. It’s good to meet you.” Stan said, holding out a hand to shake. Mike shook it and they made small talk until Richie came back. Eddie pulled Mike out and winked at Stan.

“Stan. I invited you here tonight because I wanted to apologize. I’m sorry about what happened and that we stopped talking.” Richie said, looking upset. “I freaked out, I didn’t want us to get together when we were drunk and I just… didn’t feel like I deserved you.” Stan sucked in a breath.

“Richie…” He didn’t know what to say, so instead he gently pressed his lips against Richie’s. Richie wrapped an arm around him before kissing him back. They separated and leaned their heads against each other. “You’ll always be good enough for me.” Stan whispered.

***

taglist: @mrs-vh @sedanleystanley

(let me know if you want to be added!)

***

[friendlyfaceseverywhere-sp-blog]

Descriptions of the four main boys:

2) Stan

Name: Stanley Marsh

Nicknames: Stan; Stanny; the hippie

Age: 16

Location: South Park, CO

School: South Park High

Grade: Junior Year

Sport: Plays for the South Park Cows football team

Football Team: Denver Broncos

Zodiac Sign: Libra

Religion: Roman Catholic

Hobbies: Hanging with friends, playing videogames, going on dates with his girlfriend, drinking, playing with his band, writing songs, listening to music

Instrument: Guitar, Singing

Girlfriend: Wendy Testaburguer

Best Friend: Kyle Broflovski

Biggest Fear: Ending up alone, all of his friends would turn the back to him and He would have no one to lean on

Favorite movie genre: Fantasy, Action and Drama

Music Style: Rock and Roll and Alternative

Speaks: English

Pets: Sparky, his dog

Description: The leader of the most famous quartet in all of Colorado grew in size, enough to be an important member of the South Park High football team, even though he did not achieve the position of captain. In addition, Stan plays in a band with his friends Kyle, Kenny and Cartman, dates his longtime girl, Wendy Testaburguer, and is still completely in love with animals. The fights between him and his older sister have not stopped, although they happen less frequently, since she is in college now and the boy does everything to ignore all the stupid shit that his father is doing and that so shame him. Entering the Junior year of high school, Stan will have to deal with all the amorous and personal delusions that adolescence can bring.

*THIS AU BELONGS ENTIRELY TO ME (@maryramos) AND MY FRIEND (@m-tonks). If repost, please give credit to us and make sure to follow our page for more content of it!

[spideyyverse]

Losers Grease! AU

pt.1 | pt.2 | pt.3 | pt.4 |

Chapter: 1/7

To Jasmine; bone apple tea bitch today is Jesus’ birthday and I decided to give instead of recieve because I am in fact Jesus. So, ho ho ho motherfucker. 

Alternate reality where Eddie Kaspbrak is a boy from New York visiting the small town of Derry for the Summer and so happens to have met the greaser himself, Richie Tozier.

Characters: Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak, Beverly Marsh, Ben Hanscom, Stan Uris, Mike Hanlon, Bill Denbrough, Audra Phillips

Pairings: Reddie, Stenbrough, Benverly, (Possible?? Audra x Mike? Aromantic Mike? Let me know what you think!)

Warnings: Homophobia, swearing, underage drinking and smoking

Word Count: 1,450

Author Notes: Some chapters will be based on a song from the movie, I’m not sure if I’ll do each song but if there’s a specific song you would like me to include, let me know in my ask box!

I met a girl crazy for me / I met a boy as cute as can be / Summer days drifting away

The small town of Derry was nothing mere but just some neighborhoods, local businesses, and anything else any town would have. It wasn’t the arcade that had beat up machines or the creepy sewers that had earned the title of “The Barrens” that caught seventeen year old Eddie Kaspbrak’s attention; No, it was the curly raven haired boy known as Richie Tozier. The two met on the first week of Eddie’s so called Summer vacation. Eddie’s mother had miraculously let him explore the town after much convincing from Eddie and his aunts who backed him up. It was that day in June that Eddie thanked his lucky stars that he and his mom were spending the summer with his aunts who lived in Derry. Eddie found himself in a quarry where he saw Romeo. However, this Romeo was dangling his legs over the edge and smoke would occasionally blow from his mouth. His leather jacket that would have been way to hot to wear anyways was sitting beside him. Now normally, Eddie wouldn’t even in the slightest glance at boys like him. However, there was something about this boy that made his heart skip a beat.

“The names Richie Tozier. Do you have a name or can I call you mine?” The boy spoke, his gaze still not leaving the landscape, snapping Eddie out of his thoughts or rather…staring. 

“I.. um…you… see… uh” Eddie began but mentally cursed himself for not being able to utter out some excuse to make up for his staring at the mystery boy. Richie finally averted his attention to the sputtering mess and rose an eyebrow, “You know I know a guy with a stutter. We call em’ Big Bill. You got a stutter too cutie?” 

Eddie finally mucked up some courage from his amount of embarrassment, “Eddie. My name is Eddie Kaspbrak,” Then he continued, “And no. I don’t have a stutter.”

“Eddie Kaspbrak,” Richie rolled Eddie’s name off his tongue and sent a smile towards the other boy causing his heart to start racing and his tummy to fill with butterflies, “I like it. You’re cute, you know that Eds?”

Eddie groaned but couldn’t contain his smile, “Don’t call me that.”

“I don’t think so Eddie Spaghetti.” Richie and Eddie finally locked gazes with each other thus starting the romance of Summer.

Tell me more, Tell me more / Was it love at first sight?

After the heartbreaking goodbye between Eddie and his first love, it wasn’t long before Eddie received the news that his mother told him that their vacation to Derry, Maine had become permanent. Eddie felt a sting of hope that maybe him and his summer love would reunite. 

Eddie found himself rushing down the halls trying to figure out where his homeroom was. Not only was he late on his first day of school, he also happened to be the new kid. His body collided with a stranger, a string of “This can’t be happening right now” came from under his breath. 

“Oh gosh! I’m so sorry.” The stranger spoke frantically picking Eddie’s books up.

“No! No! It was my fault! I should have seen where I was going!” Eddie continued on to apologize. 

Eddie locked gazes with the stranger who he has now discovered is a red headed girl, “I’m new here. Do you think you can help me out?” He scratched the back of his head, tugging at his yellow cardigan.

A grin spread across her face and she stuck her hand out, “I’m Beverly Marsh, you can just call me Bev!”

Eddie sighed in relief and shook her hand with a smile, “Eddie Kaspbrak! Do you know where room L204 is at?”

Bev let the grin on her face spread wider, “We have homeroom together! C’mon!” She tugged at his hand and guided him to their share class. 

Eddie followed the red headed girl like a lost puppy all day but she didn’t seem to mind which Eddie was extremely thankful for. Beverly guided him along the quad area where the lunch tables were. She spotted her friends who were all wearing the same pink jacket as hers. It was embroidered with “Pink Ladies” on the back of the jackets. 

“Hey guys! This is Eddie! Eddie this is Stan and Audra!” 

“Hey there!” Audra smiled

“How’s it goin’?” Stan nodded his head, taking a drag from his cigarette.

“Hey.” Eddie gave a soft smile.

“So, Stan? What did you do this Summer?” Bev asked.

“Boys.” He replied with a smirk.

“Boys or boy? C’mon Stanny, we all know you got a thing for stuttering Bill!” Audra smirked. Stan rolled his eyes and continued to take another drag of his cigarette.

“What about you Bevvy boo? Any new boy toys?” Stan asked.

“I was practicing new makeup looks on my cousins from Portland!” She excitedly began, “I wanna be a cosmetologist” She explained to Eddie.

“What about you new kid? Anything happen this Summer?” Stan nodded his head towards Eddie’s direction.

Eddie blushed and looked down at his lap, “I spent most of my Summer at the quarry…I met a boy there.”

“Was it love at first sight?” Audra squealed.

“Tell me more!” Bev asked hopping up from her seat. 

“Does he own a car?”

“How much dough did he spend?” 

Eddie began to tell his story of his summer love but only referred to his love as “He”.

Then we made our true love vow / Wonder what she’s doing now 

“Rich..” Eddie muttered not wanting to meet Richie’s gaze.

“Hey, look at me.” Richie softly spoke grabbing Eddie’s chin and tilting it up towards him.

“This isn’t goodbye Eds. You said your aunts live here right? You can always come back next year! Maybe gay marriage will be legalized!” He tried to comfort his boyfriend but Eddie only chuckled through his glossy eyes, “You’re an idiot Chee.”

Both boys leaned into each other, pressing their lips softly against one another. They both stayed at the quarry until sunset, holding onto each other for dear life. Richie was terrified that Eddie would find someone better in New York. Eddie was terrified Richie would leave for college before Eddie can return to Derry.

It’s been almost three weeks since both boys last saw each other. In those three weeks Eddie desperately wanted to return to the quarry to tell Richie that Derry was his new home but Eddie and his overbearing mother had to return to New York to gather their belongings and move into their new home. With each passing day, Richie constantly wondered what Eddie was doing and if he would ever return. He only counted down the days until next June as he wrote a letter to Eddie making sure to never lose touch with him.                                                                                      

Summer dreams ripped at the seams, but oh those summer nights

By the time Eddie finished, the bell had rung. 

“Huh, he sounds like a drag.” Stan scoffed getting up to throws away his food. Bev elbowed him and pulled Audra towards both of them, “Say guys’, what do you think about letting Eddie join the Pink Ladies? I think he’d be a good fit!”

Stan only eyed Bev and inhaled, “In order to be a Pink Lady, you gotta date a T-Bird first. And by the sound of it, he wouldn’t even dare go near them.” Beverly only gave a half smile and walked towards Eddie, “Ready to go?”

Eddie nodded in response and gathered his things. Stan flung his backpack over his shoulder and walked towards the boy, “What’s prince charming’s name anyways?”

“Richie,” Eddie smiled, the familiarity of butterflies in his tummy, “Richie Tozier.”

Audra contained her screams trying look subtle, Beverly choked on her water, but Stan only gave a smile and a “hmph’ in response. Eddie seemed to notice this because his mind began to race a thousands miles per second, “What? Why? Do you know him?!”

Audra opened her mouth to speak but Stan held up a hand in response, “Say Eddie, come to the pep rally with us on Friday! It’ll be lots of fun!”

Eddie smiled in response, “Sure thing! I have to ask my mom first but she’ll probably let me!” Eddie looked down at his watch an noticed he only had two minutes to get to algebra class. He quickly said his goodbyes and dragged Bev along with him.

“Stan, please don’t tell me you’re planning what I think you’re planning.” Audra bit her lip.

“Don’t worry about Auddie. It’ll be the reunion of the year.”

[joannalannister]

I was asked a question on Quora, but I fear I must ask for your help with it. How would the story be different if Tywin were alive? For ease, let's say Tyrion never climbs up that ladder and everything else is the same. Although this is painful, Tywin's death was perfect thematically.

[Casterly Rock] is where you should be. Tommen should accompany you, as your ward and squire. The Rock is where he’ll learn to be a Lannister, and I want him away from his mother. I mean to find a new husband for Cersei. […] once I convince Lord Tyrell that the match does not threaten Highgarden. 

“All he wants…” “…is to force me from the Kingsguard and send me back to Casterly Rock.”

“That need not be so terrible. He is sending me back to Casterly Rock as well. He wants me far away, so he’ll have a free hand with Tommen.”

“I am the regent,” she reminded him.

“You were. Tywin did not intend that you continue in that role. He told me of his plans to send you back to the Rock and find a new husband for you.”

I think if Tywin is still alive at the beginning of AFFC, then Tommen marries Margaery and is sent to Casterly Rock, with Jaime assigned to accompany his king. (Tywin is still hoping to get Jaime out of the Kingsguard, and getting him in Casterly Rock is one step closer to that.) 

Cersei is sent to Casterly Rock for a time, until Tywin can find a husband for her:

“You will marry and you will breed. Every child you birth makes Stannis more a liar.” […] "Mace Tyrell, Paxter Redwyne, and Doran Martell are wed to younger women likely to outlive them.“

Who that husband is, I don’t know, because I don’t have all of the information Tywin has on eligible bachelors in Westeros, and I don’t like speculating in the dark. Probably someone from the Reach or Westerlands. 

The Lannisters still have to broker a peace in the Riverlands, take Dragonstone and Storm’s End, fend off the Ironborn in the Reach, etc. However, I don’t think the Faith is armed, and with Cersei sent away, there is no walk of atonement. The Lannister-Tyrell alliance is under much less strain than it is with Cersei in charge. 

Prince Doran remains very cautious with Tywin around, but he still works for Tywin’s downfall.

“All Dorne will howl,” said Doran Martell in a tired voice. “I only pray Lord Tywin hears them in King’s Landing, so he might know what a loyal friend he has in Sunspear.”

I have worked at the downfall of Tywin Lannister since the day they told me of Elia and her children. It was my hope to strip him of all that he held most dear before I killed him, but it would seem his dwarf son has robbed me of that pleasure.

Lord Tywin had been a dangerous foe; without him, Dorne’s enemies would be much weaker. 

There is soon to be a food crisis that Tywin will have to figure out a way to deal with, since he burned all the food in the Riverlands:

Snow in the riverlands. If it was snowing here, it could well be snowing on Lannisport as well, and on King’s Landing. Winter is marching south, and half our granaries are empty. Any crops still in the fields were doomed. There would be no more plantings, no more hopes of one last harvest. He found himself wondering what his father would do to feed the realm, before he remembered that Tywin Lannister was dead.

In White Harbor, I think Wyman Manderly bends the knee, but secretly continues his suicide mission for vengeance:

Lord Tywin Lannister wrote me himself to say that he had Wylis. If I would have him freed unharmed, he told me, I must repent my treason, yield my city, declare my loyalty to the boy king on the Iron Throne … and bend my knee to Roose Bolton, his Warden of the North. Should I refuse, Wylis would die a traitor’s death, White Harbor would be stormed and sacked, and my people would suffer the same fate as the Reynes of Castamere.“

I am fat, and many think that makes me weak and foolish. Mayhaps Tywin Lannister was one such. I sent him back a raven to say that I would bend my knee and open my gates after my son was returned, but not before. There the matter stood when Tywin died. 

“It was Tywin Lannister who returned Wylis to me, safe and whole, as he had promised. A man of his word, Lord Tywin, Seven save his soul.” Lord Wyman popped the meat into his mouth, chewed it noisily

In the North, Roose Bolton is warden, Ramsay marries Jeyne, all that bad stuff still happens. I think Roose at least gives the appearance of loyalty to the Iron Throne. 

At the Wall, the Night’s Watch won’t recognize Stannis because of fear of Tywin’s retaliation, so Stannis will have a very difficult time:

“Lord Stannis helped us when we needed help,” Marsh said doggedly, “but he is still a rebel, and his cause is doomed. As doomed as we’ll be if the Iron Throne marks us down as traitors. We must be certain that we do not choose the losing side.”

“King Robert was well loved, and most men still accept that Tommen is his son. The more they see of Lord Stannis the less they love him, and fewer still are fond of Lady Melisandre with her fires and this grim red god of hers. They complain.“

In Essos, I’m not sure if Aegon would be able to sail west yet without the dragons, if Tywin were still alive. I think someone might convince him that Tyrion had a bad plan, and that going head to head with Tywin without dragons is bad. 

"I have had enough of Illyrio’s plans. Robert Baratheon won the Iron Throne without the benefit of dragons. We can do the same. And if I am wrong and the realm does not rise for us, we can always retreat back across the narrow sea, as Bittersteel once did, and others after him.”

Strickland shook his head stubbornly. “The risk—”

“—is not what it was, now that Tywin Lannister is dead. The Seven Kingdoms will never be more ripe for conquest. Another boy king sits the Iron Throne, this one even younger than the last, and rebels are thick upon the ground as autumn leaves.”

Also, I’m not totally sure that Tyrion would try this divide and conquer approach with Tywin still alive, because I think he might want a very large invading force before facing his father across the battlefield. 

Assuming Tyrion’s alive, like, idk, Tywin might hire a Faceless Man or s/t to kill Tyrion.

The Iron Bank is still a problem, so it might get to a point where Tywin needs to use Lannister gold, as he did under Aerys. 

And all of this assumes that Varys doesn’t kill Tywin in the near future to destabilize the Lannister-Tyrell regime to make way for Aegon. The Realm might ostensibly be at peace under Tywin’s continued regime, but it’s basically a powder keg and Tywin is Franz Ferdinand. I don’t know why Varys wouldn’t take advantage of that. 

Also, this is a slightly different form of a Tyrion Doesn’t Kill Tywin AU by @nobodysuspectsthebutterfly, where Oberyn wins and what happens after, which might be useful to you. 

I’m not very good with AUs, so other people might have better ideas. 

[thestarofdorne]

Iɴ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴀᴍᴇ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴛʜᴇʀ

El muro 300 AC AU | #Nedshara

Ubicación temporal: [ Danza de Dragones. Después de la partida del rey Stannis Baratheon. Después de la partida de Val, princesa de los salvajes. Previo a la llegada de la reina Selyse a Castillo Negro. OutCanon: El maestre Aemon permanece en el muro. ]

❝ Tᴏᴅᴏ ᴛɪᴇɴᴇ ʀᴀɪ́ᴄᴇꜱ ᴇɴ ᴇʟ ᴘᴀꜱᴀᴅᴏ﹐ ᴇɴ ɴᴜᴇꜱᴛʀᴀꜱ ᴍᴀᴅʀᴇꜱ﹐ ᴇɴ ɴᴜᴇꜱᴛʀᴏꜱ ᴘᴀᴅʀᴇꜱ ʏ ᴇɴ ʟᴏꜱ ᴘᴀᴅʀᴇꜱ ᴅᴇ ɴᴜᴇꜱᴛʀᴏꜱ ᴘᴀᴅʀᴇꜱ. Nᴏ ꜱᴏᴍᴏꜱ ᴍᴀ́ꜱ ϙᴜᴇ ᴍᴀʀɪᴏɴᴇᴛᴀꜱ﹐ ɴᴏꜱ ᴍᴜᴇᴠᴇɴ ʟᴏꜱ ʜɪʟᴏꜱ ᴅᴇ ʟᴏꜱ ϙᴜᴇ ɴᴏꜱ ᴘʀᴇᴄᴇᴅɪᴇʀᴏɴ﹐ ʏ ᴀʟɢᴜ́ɴ ᴅɪ́ᴀ ɴᴜᴇꜱᴛʀᴏꜱ ʜɪᴊᴏꜱ ᴛᴇɴᴅʀᴀ́ɴ ϙᴜᴇ ʙᴀɪʟᴀʀ ᴄᴏᴍᴏ ʟᴇꜱ ᴅɪᴄᴛᴇɴ ɴᴜᴇꜱᴛʀᴏꜱ ʜɪʟᴏꜱ. ❞

[ 𝑻𝒚𝒓𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝑳𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓. 𝑻𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂 𝒅𝒆 𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒂𝒅𝒂𝒔 ]

El cielo se veía despejado sobre Guardiaoriente del Mar, tan despejado que Ashara no podía creerlo. Las tormentas los había acosado todo el camino, pero por siete días y siete noches no les permitieron descansar ni por un momento, la galera se agitaba violentamente y con cada golpe de las olas que recibía parecía que se iba a romper en pequeños trozos. Estaba segura de que más de un marino en “La flor del verano” le culpaba por ello, eran personas altamente supersticiosas y las mujeres siempre daban mala suerte en el mar, las miradas hostiles se volvieron algo común y sospechaba que algunos querían tirarla por la borda sin importar que el capitán había aceptado de buena gana su oro.

Le había costado tres copas de vino convencerse a hacer ese viaje, dejar atrás las comodidades de Braavos para finalmente conocer el muro pero las palabras equivocadas habían llegado a sus oídos y una terquedad desconocida hasta momento se apoderó de ella. Una noche escuchó a un bardo hablar de cómo había vestido el negro, se había acostumbrado tanto al Braavosi que le costó reconocer que hablaba la lengua común, el hombre tenía una lengua de plata que sólo sabía cantar mentiras y todas las canciones le sabían agridulces por la nostalgia, ella también había conocido esas canciones hacia mucho.

La dorniense le escuchó cantar, y con el tiempo comenzó a preguntar.

— ¿Quien ocupa el trono de hierro? — La noticia de la muerte del usurpador había llegado incluso a la compañía de actores en la que estaba, ese día había bebido una copa de vino por Elia, una por Rhaegar, una por cada uno de los pequeños príncipes que había ayudado a nacer y una por su propio hijo, aquel que había entregado. Después las noticias eran variadas y confusas, se hablaba de dragones, cinco reyes distintos con sus coronas y de la infidelidad de la Lannister.

Daeron, como pedía el bardo negro que le llamasen, se extrañó por sus preguntas pero las respondió. No solo Robert Baratheon había muerto, también uno de sus hijos e incluso el poderoso Tywin Lannister, lo cual había merecido otra copa, los monstruos de su pasado comenzaban a desaparecer.

«Que el padre lo juzgue con justicia y severidad, — pensó — sobre todo con severidad.»

El bardo también había dicho otras cosas, zombis de hielo, brujas de fuego y viejos dragones ciegos, balbuceos de borracho más que nada, pero luego había dicho esa frase, “En el norte todos los Stark han muerto, solo el lobo bastardo queda, y es Lord comandante del muro”.

Había vendido entonces sus encajes de Myr para pagar su pasaje, comprar pieles y conseguir una daga. Durante todos los años que se refugió en Essos, la compañía a la cual se había unido se había vuelto tan famosa que se presentaba constantemente frente a Ferrego Antaryon, Señor del Mar de Braavos, y en el momento en que decidido marcharse este le había regalado una escolta de tres hombres para protegerla de los marineros y acompañarla por los caminos. Desde que había embarcado no paraba de escuchar historias sobre salvajes e incluso cuando le había pagado al capitán Braavosi, este le había ofrecido conseguirle mejor un barco que se dirigiera a Desembarco del Rey, o algún marinero arriesgado que quisiera cruzar los peldaños de piedra rumbo a Antigua. Ashara se había negado rotundamente, fantasmas era lo único que le esperaba al sur, el futuro estaba en el norte.

Al desembarcar la noche comenzaba a cernirse sobre el muro. El comandante de Guardiaoriente le recibió de mala gana, las mujeres no llegaban tan al norte con frecuencia pero a pesar de los años el porte de la dorniense denotaba su alta cuna y eso le obligaba a atenderle. Le había mentido en su nombre, llamándose a sí misma Elia Sand, hija natural del señor de Palosanto, y en su intención ya que se presentaba como una emisaria con un mensaje urgente para el Lord comandante.

No tenía donde alojarla. El rey Stannis había dejado en el castillo a su reina, su hija y buena parte de su corte que resultaba inútil para la pelea, ocupando las mejores habitaciones del desgastado castillo. Aunque no estaba dispuesto a dejarle marchar de noche, la nevada había parado pero podría iniciar en cualquier momento aislándolos sin ayuda durante la noche, y tampoco deseaba dejarla en Guardiaverde, el Lord comandante lo había rehabilitado recientemente pero sus nuevos hermanos eran todos de origen salvaje y no confiaba en ellos en torno a una dama, así que al final le asignó una celda de mayordomo donde pasar la noche antes de salir.

La presencia de la reina la había alejado por completo del comedor. No deseaba mirarle, tenía un asco sano hacia los Baratheon, nunca olvidaría el tridente ni perdonaría lo que la guerra que habían iniciado le costó. Asi que uno de sus guardias le había llevado pan frito e hidromiel a su celda y lo habían comido en silencio. Al día siguiente partieron a primera hora, bajo la atenta mirada de los hombres de la reina y un enviado del banco de hierro, el cual parecía le había reconocido.

Su pequeño séquito estaba formado por su guardia personal y un explorador de la guardia de la noche para guiarlos por el camino. En Dorne vestía solo con vaporosas sedas para soportar el calor del desierto, en Rocadragon y Braavos había aprendido a usar la lana para evitar las noches frías pero en el norte el invierno nunca se alejaba y las pieles y el cuero eran siempre necesarias por más incómodas que resultaran para montar pero nada la había preparado para el frío que emanaba el gran bloque de hielo que era el muro. No sentía sus mejillas y al hablar una nube de vapor salía de su cuerpo, así que se limitaba a escuchar los comentarios de asombro que sus acompañantes compartían en la lengua de las mil islas.

— ¿Qué dicen? — Le preguntó el explorador. Se había presentado por Tim Piedra, y Ashara asumió que el comandante le había enviado un bastardo por la condición en la que se presentó ante él.

— De las mujeres que les esperan de regreso a casa. — Sus guardias se reían de una broma picante que no pensaba repetir, no por pudor sino por no insultar a la guardia, especialmente a su guía, así que se encogió de hombros.

Tim Piedra asintió con la cabeza, estaba incomodo en su presencia. No sabía si por sus acompañantes o por si misma.

— ¿Había visto alguna vez el muro, mi señora?

— Es la primera vez que estoy al norte del cuello, es algo impresionante. — Respondió.

— “… El escudo de que defiende los reinos de los hombres”. — Le dijo sonriendo.

— Un gran hombre una vez me dijo que ningun muro es más fuerte que los hombres que lo defienden, Paloalto le agradece su servicio. — Le sonrió por costumbre y con cierta gratitud ya que había traído a ella un recuerdo que creía perdido.

— Es la primera vez que escucho algo así, muchos hombres de la guardia estamos aquí como castigo mi Lady, no hay tantos buenos hombres como solía haber.

Después de eso no hablaron más. Ashara pensó en Vorian, la Espada del Ocaso, que había recorrido ese mismo camino con grilletes de oro después de perder su corona ante Nymeria mucho antes de que los reinos se unificaran bajo la espada de Aegon el conquistador. Su hermano Arthur le admiraba tanto que lo ponía incluso sobre el caballero dragón y pedía constantemente a su maestre que le contase historias sobre él, soñando siempre de chico visitar el muro donde había vivido sus últimos días y lo había logrado en varias ocasiones cuando acompañaba al príncipe Rhaegar a visitar a su tío.

Castillo Negro sobresalía de los castillos abandonados leguas antes de poder ver sus puertas, y de ver el humo de sus chimeneas Ashara comenzaba a ponerse nerviosa. No sabía qué le iba a decir a él lord comandante, y sabía menos sobre lo que haría después. Bowen Marsh les recibió presentándose como el castellano de la fortaleza y les miró con desconfianza, casi la misma que Cotter Pyke le había dado cuando se presentó en su puerta pero sin dejar de mostrarse educado.

— Ser Bowen, Ser Cotter me ha dicho que hay una sacerdotisa roja entre la guarnición, a mis hombres les gustaría ser bendecidos y agradecer al dios de la luz por llegar a salvo. — La población de Braavos tenía mil dioses a los cuales les rendían culto en una isla especial para ello y el dios rojo era el más adorado de todos, sin duda sus guardias también le rendían culto. — ¿Podría guiarles a ella?

— Por supuesto, mi lady — Pyke seguro había mandado un cuervo en el momento en que habían salido porque los hermanos negros esperaban su llegada. — ¿Usted va a acompañarles? El Lord comandante está supervisando la parte superior del muro y tardará poco más de un momento en bajar a su encuentro.

«Los dioses me bendicen con más tiempo.» Recordaría dar gracias por ello en sus plegarias nocturnas.

— Mis dioses son los siete, ¿cuentan con un maestre? — El Lord mayordomo asintió. — Me gustaría visitarle, el viaje me ha causado molestias.

— El maestre Aemon es viejo pero el hombre más sabio de la guardia, sea cual sea su molestia tendrá la solución.

Le escoltaron a sus habitaciones las cuales estaban llenas de cuervos que comenzaron a graznar en el mismo momento en que cruzó las puertas y un mayordomo la guió frente al viejo maestre. El corazón se le apretó al verlo, un hombre de pelo totalmente blanco de misma forma que sus ojos. Había escuchado al príncipe hablar de Aemon Targaryen, el rey que no fue, hablaba con gran cariño del anciano y siempre decía que era el hombre más sabio que había conocido. A su edad hacía mucho que Ashara era una mujer pero frente a él se sentía una niña.

— Mi señor — La dorniense se dejó caer a sus pies y beso sus manos víctima de la emoción. Un dragón, había un dragón en poniente, el ultimo.

— Soy solo un maestre, mi señora, uno viejo, — Le respondió — por favor levántese.

— Mi hermano me habló de usted hacía ya muchos años, tantos que no podría recordar sus palabras y he esperado por verle toda mi vida. — Estaban solos a excepción del mayordomo, cuya cara amarga no le daba la aparecía de chismoso. — He llegado a usted con mentiras, mi nombre no es Elia mi señor, pero si serví a una.

Los rumores de su muerte se expandieron y se olvidaron hacía tiempo, así que costaría que alguien le creyera cuando usaba su nombre. Esperaba que el maestre reconociese que sus ojos eran una buena señal de su identidad pero estaba ciego.

— Clydas, acércate y descríbeme a nuestra señora.

El mayordomo hizo lo que le habían pedido, se le acerco con una vela y le ilumino el rostro.

— Mi señora tiene el cabello negro, la tez pálida y los ojos purpuras.

— Violetas, todos decían que mis ojos son violetas.

Clydas se encogió de hombros, como si aquello no importara y Ashara se dio cuenta que no lo hacía. El maestre asintió hacia la nada, como si procesara como le describía y formara una imagen mental de la mujer que tenía al frente, su origen se revelaba en su acento, su cuna en su forma de hablar y su edad en sus manos.

— Clydas, trae vino especiado para Lady Dayne e hidromiel para mí. Después busca a él lord comandante. — La dorniense se sorprendió por el reconocimiento. — Mi cuerpo es viejo, pero mi mente se mantiene fresca y mi memoria no falla. Rhaegar trajo consigo a pocos guardias cuando me visitó, y solo dos eran dornienses uno de ellos era el príncipe Lewis Martell pero su hermana murió antes de la rebelión, y el otro era Ser Arthur Dayne, con dos hermanas y un hermano, solo una de ellas servía a la princesa Elia.

— Ha nombrado a cuatro fantasmas y tiene uno más frente a usted. Muchos creen que estoy muerta.

— Muchos creen que el cielo es azul porque vivimos en el ojo de un gigante. Los rumores difícilmente llegan tan al norte, mi lady, y los maestres los escuchamos pero en la ciudadela nos enseñan a no creer. ¿Por qué has venido?

— Muchos dicen que me avente de una torre por el dolor, el dolor de la muerte de mi hermano o el de la perdida de una hija nacida muerta. El dolor si me invadió después de la muerte de Arthur pero mi hijo nació sano y fuerte, como el padre que se lo llevo para darle un nombre y un gran castillo donde crecer con el favor de la corona pero ese hombre ha muerto y yo quiero conocerle.

— Creo que no hay un Sand en la guardia, mi niña, pero el Lord comandante lo sabrá mejor y le ayudara.

— Su padre le puso el apellido de los bastardos del norte, Snow.

[razzle-zazzle]

Can we hear about your aus? They seem interesting!

Okay okay so. For the first AU, Woodland Stan. If you haven't watched s08e14 "Woodland Critter Christmas" and s18e06 "Freemium Isn't Free", go watch them, bc even if they're not the best South Park episodes out there they're so so funny to me & the basis for the Woodland Stan AU. And also "Woodland Critter Christmas" has a twist in it that's genuinely more fun to experience watching the episode than reading about it.

this got long so i'm putting it under the cut

See, in "Freemium Isn't Free", Stan is briefly (and consensually) possessed by Satan so Satan can go kick the Canadian Devil, Beelzeboot's, ass. And I know that technically the woodlnad critters don't actually exist in South Park, and come from a story Cartman wrote (and also appear in the Imagination Land trilogy), but they appear in The Fractured But Whole so I say they do exist and are just as demented as in TFBW. So in the Woodland Stan AU, they somehow find out or figure out or just in general catch wind of hwo Stan briefly gave his soul to Satan That One Time, and decide that that means they just gotta adopt him!

Which means Stan is kidnapped by a bunch of talking animals. Who then heavily dehumanize him (both in a "you are one of us and thus an animal" way and a "your thoughts and feelings and rights matter less than us wanting you to join us" way), in addition to exposing him to, and in some cases forcing him to engage with, all the violence and gore they normally get up to. It's basically a lot of whump, with emotional abuse and other trauma. Fun! Plus they kill Sparky and reanimate him as a hellhound when he tracks Stan's scent.

He does eventually get rescued, and has to slowly readjust to not being Stanny, to not living in the woods with a group of animals who both see him as one of their own and as a useful tool. There's so much more I could say about this AU with regards to how each critter interacts with Stan, or how characters back in South Park respond to the disappearance, or just Stan's trauma and response to it in general, but that would make this post too long. So moooooving on!

The second AU, which is called Guinea Possession AU, is based on the season twelve two-parter, episodes 10 & 11 "Pandemic" and "Pandemic II: The Startling". You know how the Guinea Pirate escaped prison at the end as an end-of-episode joke? And you know how Craig shot lasers from his eyes, and everyone commonly headcanons Craig as Peruvian due to the whole prophecy thing?

Yeah. Yeah you know where this is going. The Guinea Pirate returns, looking for revenge, and possesses Craig. This is both to get revenge and because those laser eyes weren't a one time thing. But before Cavisuwa can truly take advantage of the powers he's trying to activate (which. to make it more fun. is basically electrokinesis. but not very much because Craig is a fourth grader + hasn't done anything with them), Tweek figures out what's going on.

Where Woodland Stan's story takes place over at least a month, the Guinea Possession AU would take maybe two weeks at most, with most of the action happening right at the end. Tweek and a few other kids confront Cavisuwa, and through the wonderful power of Tweek Bros Coffee and a punch to the gut Tweek makes Craig vomit. Which exorcises Cavisuwa. Because this is South Park. Craig ignores everything Cavisuwa said about "godly powers" and goes on with his life and everything is fine.

Which leads me into the third AU. The Bad End AU. Wherein Stan goes missing thanks to the woodland critters. But before anyone can get to the bottom of things, Tweek starts freaking out. "Something's wrong with Craig!" He claims, "Because that's not him!" He is correct. Craig just got possessed!

Except... Clyde's sure he'd have noticed if something was up with his best friend. And everyone else is more concerned with the fact that Stan is missing. So Tweek confronts Cavisuwa alone. On the playground. To everyone else it looks like Tweek just started beating up his boyfriend out of nowhere, so they get pulled apart. Tweek goes back to the drawing board, and Cavisuwa..... okay look I love Tweek and I really want to involve him more heavily in this AU. But currently.. yeah he dies at the hands of Cavisuwa, who then goes on to cause a blackout, start destroying Peruvian pan flute music however and wherever he can. Giant guinea pigs and guinea bees and guinea rabbits and guineasaurus rexes start to come back, Cavisuwa takes over South Park,

and because everyone in South Park is preoccupied with Cavisuwa's rise to power, Stan never gets away from the woodland critters.

So the Bad End AU sees a world ruled by a possessed Craig, with a greasy animorphic demon lurking in the woods. There's also a resistance against Cavisuwa's "reign" lead by Kenny, Wendy, and formerly Kyle, giving me three major factions to work with. There's so much I can say about this AU, but again this post is supposed to just be the synopsis so yeah.

tl;dr Woodland Stan sees Stan kidnapped by the satanic woodland critters, Guinea Possession sees Craig possessed by the Guinea Pirate, and both of those AUs combined make the Bad End AU where, because nobody listened to Tweek, neither the possession nor the kidnapping get resolved.

[nutal]

au where the woodland critters do corrupt stan,,, call that the stanny marsh au

WAIT. I LOVE IT HOLY SHIT. anon, you’ve inspired me to make this an actual au am i about to become an south park au creator…. Dude….. also anon if i make this a thing i will absolutely credit u for this au name and idea if you want me to, so just message me or leave another ask if that’s the case!!

and im prob gonna make this the hashtag as well because I LOVE IT.