#stand with me it's all ive ever wanted??
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For the ask game: explain why you do/don’t ship doctor/master (any version)
Doctor x Master are my favorite couple of entire Doctor Who, I absolutely love them, they are one of my all time fav ships ever. Why I ship them? They are everything I love in couples on tv, they are friends, they're enemies, they're lovers, they are trying to kill each other, they never can kill each other because how can they, they also care about each other, they will kill for each other, the drama, the angst, the pain!
they are also fun to watch, I love all of the three versions I have seen, and I am pretty sure when I finally sit my ass to watch the classic who, which I started forever ago and never continued, I will go insane over the other versions of this couple, I already loved Delgado in what I have seen with him, those gloves oof <3
but for now it's those three versions, with Simm, Dhawan and Gomez masters and 10, 12 and 13. They are all fantastic, they manage to get out of each other the worst, and the best, and it's awesome. Nobody does it like them, honestly, show me any couple on tv which is as insane as them, they have centuries of history between them, the friendship older then civilizations and infinitely more complex, and the universe always brings them together. I love it
the only ship of mine which I hear a song and instantly apply to them, I mean, I have made so many edits with some songs and them, none of the other couples made me want to do it :D
#ask#lostyesterday#i wonder what id be without you???#stand with me it's all ive ever wanted??#without hope without witness without reward???????#the history between us does mean something#iTS THE RAGE AND PAIN IN MY HEARTS????????#THEY MAKE ME FERAL#doctor x master
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MAMA 2024 ALBUM DAESANG - FML
#seventeen#art#my KIDS. my hearts. 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶#i lost track of how many of them i drew multiple times so i had to do tally marks on a sketch layer#8 years after their first mama award seventeen is the DARLING of the industry this is all ive ever wanted for them#idols of idols#had a long talk w my friend abt the direction of kpop and not many groups still feel like classic idols they just feel like a group of ppl#svt has never let me down on that front bringing emotions n connecting is so sososo integral to their mission#and its through music but its also through ground level activities n styaing in touch w their core fans n eo#amidst the globalization of kpop SEVENTEEN STANDS STRONG AS IDOLS#ok sorry for tag rant#u have to endure it if u want to see my art
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50% of all revenue for my store, starting now, will be donated to CareforGaza and the PCRF.
[ PURCHASE MY ANTHOLOGIES HERE ]
hi there! i'm lindi. you may have seen some of my comics floating around in the past year or so.
if you’ve ever liked my stories and wanted to purchase a copy of one of my anthologies, I invite you to do so now. This policy will be in place indefinitely, and the list of charities/organisations may be subject to change depending on their effectiveness. Currently, the focus is on providing aid and food to the innocent Palestinians in Gaza, but in the future I hope to increase the scope to tangibly support the queer community and help fund independent artists in Australia.
below, I'll list a few resources for people who'd like to directly donate at the source:
credible organisations that are doing work on the ground in Palestine:
Care for Gaza:non-profit charity that distributes money, food and other resources directly to families in Gaza.They maintain a regular presence on Twitter and Instagram. You can donate to them via Paypal here.
PCRF / Palestine Children's Relief Fund: non-profit organisation that distributes essential food and resources to families in Gaza. Most recently, they delivered 30 tons of vital medicine, and 82,000 pounds of flour.
Medical Aid For Palestinians: deploys medical teams to treat Palestinians suffering under Israel's malicious bombardments.
help people leave palestine (donate what you can)
Save Sanaa and her Family (Gofundme)
Save Amjad Saher and his family (Gofundme)
Help a family of 13 escape Gaza (Gofundme)
Help a Palestinian children's book illustrator save her family of 12 (Gofundme)
#disclaimer: I do want to say that I'm also regularly donating a significant portion of my own personal funds and have been for a while#however I think these additional donations will make all the difference.#just donating alone isnt gonna stop the genocide happening in gaza but im trying to put my money where my mouth is#thank you all in advance for your generosity#i appreciate the audience ive cultivated here immensely#and if nothing else i hope this weeds out the trash that mightve lingered here. somehow.#dont dare try separate the art from the artist with me.#everything ive ever made and will ever make stands with palestine from now until it sees its liberation#free palestine#palestine
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I hate you physical therapy and occupational therapy people in the hospital
#like all youve done now is super fuck me up#and why are you asking if i want to stand or change my nightgown as im fucking sobbing from the pain of just sitting up#i hate them#theyre always absolutely shit at their jobs#ive never ever had good pt or ot in the hospital#fucking unbelievable#and of course my crying just made my pain WORSE#great job getting me fucked even more and needing to stay longer cause of it#what is the point of them
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i miss claude so badly im already planning my golden deer maddening run while still in the middle of black eagles. i just want my guy. my favorite guy. unfortunately i just love the black eagles as a group/cast but i am mourning my man (i never kill him btw)
#ann in fodlan#all my thoughts are wah wah wheres claude wah wah#but i love edie too… see this is why three hopes was great cuz i got to see both of them together#im an edie yuri truther its my top 3 edie ships but number 4… hehe. edie/claude… SORRYYYYY#actually im a aroace claude truther but if i must choose someone for him. hehehehsehhegrh#but i did read this lovely aromantic claude fic one time and its so dear to me. i think i bookmarked it i should go read it again#i love him. god.#and you know i do like the gd house#its just. i dont like them as much as i want to? not as much as be or bl#and part of that honestly is because i like units based on two categories:#characterization and how fun they are gameplay wise.#and unfortunately most of them let me down on that latter category 😭😭#like. ive tried so hard to make lorenz good. SO HARD. but i cant…. i dont know what to do with him!#dark knight wyvern paladin bishop dark mage sniper HE SUCKS!!!!#raphael is also always terrible for me so one time i just made him a mage bc if hes gonna suck i may as well laugh#he was outdamaged by my warrior lysithea. actually she went crazy hard for no reason#you know who i want to like more? hilda.#on paper she is the perfect character for me. shes pink she has an axe shes valentine themed#i LOVE the spoiled rich girl trope like sorry. sorry#but i just cant get over her racism and it shocks me sometimes how that is an unpopular opinion#but idk. i know its not real and it comes from a place of ignorance rather than malice#but when youve been cyril before to someone else’s hilda its like. its hard to watch#another support of hers i cant get over is actually her marianne support and like. unpopular opinion but i cant stand that support#idk how everyone j goes ‘yuri!!’ have any of you ever been marianne in that situation.#its so uncomfortable sorry. marianne get up… better yuri awaits you.#and its not even the fact that hildas wrong in these situations its that she never acknowledges that!! no one ever pushes back! its annoying#i do like her to some extent. i LOVE her characterization towards her motivations (why she doesnt try too hard/she doesnt believe anything#is worth lives)#and then on crimson flower you see that she HAS found a cause/someone worth her life (claude) and its SO tragic its so well done#TAG COUNT IM A CLAUDE OR LEONIE RIDE OR DIE THO I HAVE TO GO BYE
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i could write a 100 page essay about what a fucking masterpiece warframe is. i will write many words in the tags. please readem if you want my 'tism.
#ive been playing on and off since 2019 but its only recently when i dumped destiny 2 (probably for good) and picked it up#to fill the grind-shaped hole in my heart#that i have uncovered just how FUCKING INCREDIBLE warframe is#everything about it makes me incredibly autistic#from its masterful utilization of an incredibly styled and individual soundtrack full of absolute bangers#to its seemingly unique understanding of how and why an MMO is special to and because of its players#and its truly special story- a uniquely human take on the “post-ruin scifi” tale#it knows exactly how and when to yank on your heart to make you weep like a baby#and it knows exactly when you're going to get angry and want vengeance#and it knows when to let you let loose and unleash hell#SPOILERS FOR THE NEW WAR AHEAD#IF YOU THINK YOU COULD PLAY THE GAME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO#SPOILER WARNING#i think the narmer corruption of fortuna was genuinely one of the most gutpunchingly horrible moments ive ever experienced in a video game#i started playing when fortuna was already in the game but the story of fortuna and vox solaris was really what made warframe stand out 2 m#i would drop into the orb vallis as gauss and dash around doing bounties and fishing and mining because i really loved everything about#fortuna and wanted to spend as much time there as possible#for me vox solaris was my proudest achievement (in warframe.) to say “i helped that! i did that!” was an incredibly good feeling#the story really spoke to me on a deeper level#and vox solaris has always been my favorite faction as a result#so to do absolutely everything that i could#to lift together with my tenno brothers and sisters and yet STILL fail?#and to have it rubbed in my face by the corruption of the greatest shining pillar of hope in the warframe universe?#felt like i got kicked in the stomach#i felt sad and angry. but most of all i was DRIVEN.#which is GOOD. because RARELY does a video game present you the “you lost” scenario and have it feel not only satisfyingly painful#but MOTIVATING.#my only complaint with the new war is that i didnt get to hack ballas to pieces by myself#i had real flashbacks to running around helping people as gauss while approaching the final boss with erra#and to step onto the ballas arena as gauss prime. i nearly came from the narrative significance
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shi.n's amnesia later route is such an out of character experience bc wdym someone this cute shows me all the love they have for me and i dont healthily communicate with him that im feeling overwhelmed by it.
#❛ 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 ⧽ — ooc.#GONNA BE HONEST. EVERY OTO.ME PLAYTHROUGH I DO IS OOC FOR ME - i refuse to change the name of the mc unless they make me and even then i#didnt give the heroine my name im sorry heroine ... mainly bc im also playing from a rpers perspective FHDJKADHSJK#but this route is a sharp edged sword. i dont know if i can ever finish it ( i mean i can bc things get resolved and they DO communicate! )#and it goes onto one of the most respected endings ive seen for a chara: having the good ending as him moving away to another place but you#guys staying together long distance bc thats rep! we need!#its just the fact that even min.e and saw.a explain that what is happening isnt fair on him and the convo ends with avoidance ...#that is NOT my heroine sweetie what did they do to you#much love for heroine and everything she stands for but this CANNOT! be me sorry#shin would literally be like perf for the waiter position but he hates everyone but his two childhood friends im sorry you're never catchin#him acting like this unless you're them#hes just young and very forward. very blunt too if he wants a kiss he will inform and then take ... hes tryinggggg ....#anyway good morn i was looking at these at 3am for icons and then promptly fell asleep#time to write one last draft and then queue all i have - ill have 5 drafts left over in total :')#between my two blogs which is! amazing! but i will be focusing on inboxes after ive edited them all#omw to do the amnesi.a call this week. and plotting messages#we're going far kiddssss
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#just needed to vent for a sec but oh god am i tired of people#'friends' both irl and online got me fucked up lately#mental healths been in the shitter almost nonstop this year#familys always got me up the wall#i just feel like I'm constantly treading water and i am *tired*. like so fucking TIRED#it's never enough; it's too much; no not like that; but not that either; it's all wrong wRoNg WrOnG#ik im sleep deprived and possibly pms-y and that is most certainly not helping things rn but...#gods i see less and less of a reason to get out of bed and bother with anything ever again#wtf is the purpose#i can't keep friends to save my life bc im apparently a fuckin doormat and interesting as unflavored rice or smth#how hard is it to feel like you maybe sorta kinda matter and aren't an unlovable worthless piece of shit#years of therapy; trying meds; everything under the sun.... and nothing. lows and highs and dips of every kind and yet ..nothing#and maybe im just very much in my feelings rn and just yelling into the void.. but it hurts and im tired of pretending it doesn't.#i hate how hard it is to make friends as an adult especially irl. and how gossipy and cliquey and gross and mean ppl can be#of getting called childish and naive and boring for wanting to be a decent person and having interests outside of partying#(not attacking those traits but tired of getting attacked for *not* being 'fun' enough or 'social' enuf or 'sensitive' for having feelings)#enough*#i just want to go eat drywall and stand in the rain and let it help me pretend im not crying blood rn.#like every cell in my body isn't trying to spontaneously combust.#'it gets better' ..yeah? when. when i was 14? when i was 23? when im 37? when im 55? 82? WHEN.. bc im so sick and tired#and no this isn't me writing a final note or whatever it sounds like; i just wanted to word vomit bc ive never been good w sadness#and ive got such an overwhelming amount of it rn i can't even turn it into anger & spite & use that for productivity... i just want to rot#to lie down and be covered by plants as i sleep and just slowly fade into a cloud or smth like it's a ghibli movie or wtv.#im like shaking from how stupidly emotional i feel rn. the lack of empathy these days is fuckin astounding#common sense & empathy are lacking in absolutely droves these days. some days i hate the internet & tech for its irreparable damages sm#but here we are and here it shall remain. long after us; and *long* after us ..... *sigh*#anyway ima go try to take a nap or smth. I'll see ya when i see ya. take care my lovelies#if u read all this i prob owe you a cookie lol
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I get so shocked everytime I get sweet and enthusiastic comments/tags on screenshots I post of Ieeha, cause this is the guy on whom I would regularly receive both anons and ingame tells saying shit like "your midlander looks weird", "he'd be so much cuter as a miqo'te" and "your character is ugly you should buy a fantasia" for YEARS
#WHICH IVE NEVER AGREED WITH#sure my confidence in him took a nosedive and i had to put him on the shelf for 2 years#before i could even stand to look at him before feeling sick to my stomach with shame#especially since id adjusted him in ways i didnt like to make him ''palatable'' in rp#and i mean. tumblr had a weird sense of hostility at male midlanders for some reason up until shb#but it still sucked!!!! like... i hate how i let that ruin ieeha for me#and it took a good while after i revamped him to truly feel comfortable#but now im happier than ever with him hes EXACTLY how i want him to be#and i am thriving and making that everyone elses problem <3333#anyway all this to say i appreciate that people are so sweet here now#because it means a lot to hear for ieeha specifically#silvi talks
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Among other things, I hate that the only two options are "dieting cult" and "if you so much as insinuate that you would like to not be winded after taking a five minute fucking shower you are supreme traitor to the other fatties cult"
#i also loathe myself and every decision ive ever made#how's today going? NOT FUCKING GREAT#i hate health at every size MORE#because at least I know where I stand with the people who are so disgusted by fatness that looking like me is their worst nightmare#HAES isn't EVERY size#it's 'learn to love being fat or stfu and gtfo'#I've hated my body since I was a fucking toddler#i want to be a size 12 and wear a medium and be a little bit squishy and feel attractive#and this is just a sliver of all the things I hate about myself and my life right now#arguably it's the least important#I'm so tired and I'm so lonely
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...
#aye. in another life i would have loved to be an illustrator#i dont like to do digital tho and i dont wanna b a starving artist and i like science too much#but it would make me so hsppy if i was allowed to draw all day everyday#forever and ever drawing#but nooo i wanted to get a phd in microbial evolution. and im procrastinating working on my preproposal#literally doing anything to not work on it. i coulf have been a illustrator. an endocrinologist. a neurobiologist. a paleontologist. but i#chose microbial ecologist then thought no fuck ecology and went for photosynthetic mechanisms#bc i do love my lil cyanos and i do love Microbiology. i love those underapprecated lil guys#the world is so big and beautiful and all i wanna do is understand. but my stupid brain doesnt work right and ive burried my wonder for so#long i wonder if ill ever have it back. i was reading a bunch of lil notes i wrote this semester and i go from#everything is so beautiful i cant stand it. there are angels in the sunbeams and they feel like healing. to im the world around me is#warping beyond my control. i cant feel any joy. my head is sending me terrible ideas but im not even scared. it feels inevitable#but last week i was so full of energy i couldnt sleep. nothing changed but the chemicals in my head#hopefully next semester will b better and i can stop feeling like damaged goods and feel bad fro my advisor#for having to deal with me. hes v nice and has a bip0lar brother so he's sympathetic but i wish he didn't have to b#i want to stop fantasizing about being something else and just focus on being better at what i am#but im such a pathological perfectionist that its so difficult to make any progress. but whatever ive been feeling alright for the#past week or so. hopefully that carries through. and maybe somedsy i can illustrate something for my precious baby cyanobacteria#unrelated
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The devil Dirk on your shoulder.
Silly quick cosplay before Halloween night is over, inspired by a Dirk comic I saw earlier this month. (X)
#ahh im embarrassed now that im about to post lmao#is it like a dead meme to be doing sloppy cosplays of fan works these days? i feel like i never see ppl doing this anymore#((comic OP if u want me to unlink just dm me ill repost without the quote))#idk if its even gonna link tumblr was giving me grief ab adding links recently#laughing about my raccoon ears bc i dont have devil horns surprisingly (dont have a halo either tbh)#homestuck#dirk#dirk cosplay#me#selfie#ShitPost.exe#Cori.exe#Image.exe#my back is fucking killing me from standing in heels trying to pose for this hfffff idk if it was worth it#and the best pose i ended up with was this plain straightforward one#striders#halloween#idk what tags this needs man#cosplay#shitpost#shoulda waited till morning when my hair will be dry and fluffy but its halloween night rn and i know im gna be too cold in the morning#i s2g this is the coldest october ive ever experienced its fucking frigid in my room rn#anyway lemme post bc i already have literal and figurative cold feet. nini everyone happy hoe-lloween to all and to all a good ni
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the forest looks like heaven today i woke up feeling the heaviest weight at the top of my heart
#yesterday on the study they said they were dating two others and it was going well and i cant imagine fucking you but#you have great tits. they got upset at me not inviting them to a party. my research partner told me to write a 1000 word essay on why they#should come. they spoke about how much they wanted theiir ex and they wouldnt tell me much about who theyre dating bc#they thought i still had feelings for them which. god. theyre right but the assumption is so arrogant#the streams r rly beautiful im walking to a date and shes gorgeous and some of my friends know her but i look#exactly like ive slept on my friends floor for the past few days so . aaa anyway#god after that whole call i just felt so deflated like i felt over it but now its all . back. like seeing them being happy w smn else#inflicts active misery upon me which means ii think im becoming a worse person bc of them. i called my friend and i just . idk i walked home#i kept wanting to weep but . woah the sun is so pretty#there are petals and dandelion seeds floating in the air#med school students walking to their lectures#she does biochem btw. the person im meeting now#there are two butterflies dancing together. i cant make this shit up the past few days have looked like actual heaven#ive spent them being on survival mode and not even bc of my studies like ok focus on log functions while the person kn the screen#tells u abt how if her ex were to call shed fold immediately and the new girl is a singer and its going well and maybe ill tell you#more abt it in a few months. SO YOU KNOW IT HURTS ! SO WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME YOUD MAKE OUT W ME AT THE CLUB WHY WOULD U FALL ASLEEP NEXT TO#ME WITHOUT CLOTHES ON ! WHY WOULD YOU CARESS YOUR OWN SKIN LOOKING AT ME IN THE MIRROR !!!!#anyway im like . sane.#i just . felt like it was over#i realised i kept seeing ppl who i thought were more attractive etc etc than her bc i needed to prove to myself#that im attractive enough to be liked or that i can be liked at all and a part of me wanted to prove it to them too#its just a horrible mindset to have and yh not only do they not care but they also bring out the worst in me actively like . I DONT KNOW#BUT THEN WHO ELSE KNOWS THAT THE GOLDEN HOURS IN TEHRAN ARE PINK AND LILAC WHO GOES TO TECHNO RAVES AT THE BASE OF DAMAVAND#WHO CAN PIN YOU AGAINST A WALL LIKE THEM !!!#anyway#standing up it just feels so#exhausting#like this the most exhausted ive felt from all this ever
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Now why do u have that as ur pfp… thats disgusting and disrespectful
hiiii hello xx I’ve always loved Saki from 177013! (and the doujin as a whole ofc) haha I remember I watched an interview with ShindoL once where he talked about how it wasnt even meant to be thaaat horny but more of a horrific story that spiraled out of control, and he never anticipated the reception of it.
anyways I’ve always just really related to her and take it as a cautionary warning of how I could’ve turned out were it not for a good support system around me! I just really see myself in her with how I used to be and my mentality and naivety and everything so xx
#urusai! baka#i actually remember when i first stumbled upon it when i was like 16? 17?#and i didnt read the tags bcos im dumb and brazen and i actually just expected a cheeky 20-30pg doujin for a fun n fresh goonsesh#and i watched on in shock horror as everything unfolded and just spiraled completely out of control#and i actually had to stop for water#bcos it was just so visceral to me#bcos its ironically rly raw and realistic for a doujin#minus the fucking in every instance thing#but something about a naive girl trying to change herself and wanting to be liked#noticed by boys and invited out by girls#and being sheltered not understanding yhe repercussions of drugss and#all the dangers out in tne world#feels very real and relatable to how i once was#in a way hahahaha#(i mean ive been chronically onlune so i wasnt that naive but the desperation mixed with no irl experience was definitely there)#(the blind trust and like people pleasing and not standing up for urself)#this got really deephaha but i feel like i always get kinda deep when i talk abt 177013#every once in a while it gets brought up on my blog haha#im sorry to everyone ive influenced to read it and hated it!!#and this is ur warning that if u DO go look for it (if youve not already HAHA) theres like every triggering theme in there ever so#READ RHE TAGS DONT BE ME HAHA#ANYWAYS thats so much yap sorry anon this is not what u signed up for haha#xoxoxo#omg i just remembered this come sup so often on my blog i deffo used to have a tag specifically dedicated to it#is it maybe juat#177013#we’ll try it iguesss
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whenever im writing anything i always struggle with like. making sure im not holding the audiences hand and explaining every single little detail to them, and actually trust them to Understand what im saying. but I know that I do this because I am a dumdum who misses details and often needs shit explained to me, and also worries about not being clear enough, but like,,,,, most people are Better at that then I am and I need to trust them,,,
#this is a problem i will suffer with in writing and real life forever and ever and ever an#im not good with. things. fucking. im very aware of this and it frustrates me ive always been like this#where its like. i feel like im standing up to my knees in a shallow pool#except everyone else is somehow swimming deep below me#but i just cannot fuckung swim down there no matter how hard I try#and someone has to drag me down there with them for me to Get It At All#i dont know. im trying to write again. ive been busy and tired and I want to write I miss it I just don't know what To write#ive been cleaning up an old fic that's like 80% complete and id like to post that at some point but. no promises lmao#im tired and i wasted my free day by doomscrolling tumblr instead of studying for my final tomorrow#ive also just been in a weird funk the past few days. i know exactly why its my own damn fault but ugh#i am stagnant and stuck going in circles and circles and circles and circles and there is a bitter taste in my mouth and im losing my mind#noooooooooot like other girlls im socially inept to a deeply concerning degree teeheee mmmmmmmmmm#im not gonna vent here rn#bleugh#lilac post
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Guess who might have 🎶whooping cough🎶
#its me and many other people at the summer camp i work at#today i took the morning off because ive been ill for a few weeks#i think the first week was a different illness than the one i currently have tho#i assumed it was what we call 'camp crud' because youre bound to get sick when youre around grimy kids#and living in close quarters with others and not getting enough sleep#but yesterday i felt like shit all day to the point of not being able to stand. so today i took the morning off#just to try and recover a bit. but at lunch my program director came in and said im going to the clinic later#and asked me who else ive noticed is sick#hes making a list because apparently a camper has fucking whooping cough. and its lookng like others might too#i told my sibling i might have whooping cough and they said#'seriously?! are you a street urchin from 1600s Europe?'#which is the worst thing anyone has ever said to me lol. im already on the brink of death and they just kicked me over#im desperately hoping its just crud and not whooping cough#because i have the opportunity to work the zip line this weekend for visiting alumni. with the woman i have feelings for#altogether its going to be a great time so im really hoping i can go. but i obv cant if i have whooping cough#anyway im gonna go back to napping bcuz thats all ive been doing today. that and coughing#if you pray then maybe add me into your prayers today. maybe manifest my health. ive been sick for weeks and i want it to be over
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