#st.john rivers

[tooquirkytolose]

Read Jane Eyre for the first time and I have some silly thoughts

[skiesareblue]

Sarah: I can't stand/bear it anymore

"...the skyline over there is ever our limit. I long sometimes for a power of vision that would overpass it, if I could behold all I imagine. I’ve never seen a city. I’ve never spoken with men. And I fear my whole life will pass."

"This sequence, which I think, essentially is the thesis of Jane's frustration about being a woman and not being able to see beyond the horizon ... [the set] provided the sort of cage-like, birdcage-like setting for these two women and their varying perspectives on what a woman should be able to achieve in life."

Jane Eyre/Tanz der Vampire/Jane Eyre/Jane Eyre 2011 adaptation/Tanz der Vampire/Cary Joji Fukunaga (2011 director) Jane Eyre 2011 director's commentary

[klainebayeuxtapestry]

yes cecil vyse or st.john rivers are like far more overt sexually frigid men incapable of love than clive durhman who is yes romantic and almost passionate but the point is at the end of the DAY clive is just like them! he's mister collins, he's linton, he's paris from romeo and juliet, he's the sensible choice but the choice that will destroy you! it will always destroy you!

[teeththeeif]

Something that has been sitting in my mind all day: If Riptide happened in Canada, Gillion would be from Newfoundland. He would bust it down to Great Big Sea, especially River Driver. He would have a Newfie accent, not too thick since he’d probably be from St.Johns since he’s canonically from the capital of the undersea. So would Finn and Edyn obviously. Caspian too, but not St.Johns. Essentially I’m just saying the Undersea would be Newfoundland.

[madi2112]

Go hiking with me! part 3

The Hike:

Was short today as my alloted time was used up sitting in traffic in Orlando.

The trail itself was in Jacksonville and the plan was to hike two trails near Ft. Caroline totalling almost five miles.

But I lost over an hour to sitting in my car moving at a snail's pace.

So I only had enough time to do the shorter half.

It was fine. Typical Florida hike. Nothing special.

The Wildlife:

None. No waterfalls either.

The only scenic item was Ft. Caroline. It was fort used to protect the St.Johns River and was an interesting stop. It's history was displayed on information signs and by reconstruction of the fort itself.

The Stats:

~Madison

[jameshardiesidingcontractor]

Siding Contractors St Johns OR - Copy

St Johns OR Siding Contractor St Johns #1 James Hardie Preferred Siding Contractor! ELITE Installation & ELITE Preferred Services. Get a Free Estimate on Your Siding Replacement Transformation The History of St. Johns Portland Oregon St. Johns is a neighborhood located in the northern part of Portland, Oregon, USA. Here's a brief overview of its history: - Early Settlement: St. Johns was originally inhabited by indigenous peoples of the Chinook tribe, who lived along the Willamette River for thousands of years before European settlers arrived. The area was abundant in natural resources, including fish from the river and fertile land for agriculture. - European Settlement: In the mid-19th century, European settlers began arriving in the region, attracted by the opportunities for farming and logging. The establishment of the Oregon Trail and the Donation Land Claim Act of 1850 further encouraged settlement in the area. - Development of St. Johns: St. Johns was founded as a separate city in 1902 by James John, a prominent early settler and businessman. The area was originally known as St. Johns by the Bridge due to its proximity to the St. Johns Bridge, which was completed in 1931 and spans the Willamette River, connecting St. Johns to the rest of Portland. - Industrial Growth: St. Johns experienced rapid growth in the early 20th century, fueled by its location along the river, which made it a hub for shipping, fishing, and industrial activities. Sawmills, shipyards, and other industrial facilities were established, providing jobs and economic opportunities for residents. - Annexation by Portland: In 1915, St. Johns was annexed by the city of Portland, becoming part of the larger metropolitan area. Despite this, St. Johns maintained its distinct identity as a neighborhood with its own commercial district and community institutions. - Economic Decline and Revitalization: Like many industrial areas, St. Johns faced economic decline in the latter half of the 20th century due to changes in industry and urban development patterns. However, in recent years, the neighborhood has undergone revitalization efforts, with the restoration of historic buildings, the development of new businesses, and a growing interest in its cultural heritage and community character. Today, St. Johns is known for its diverse population, vibrant arts scene, and scenic riverfront location. It retains its historic charm while embracing new opportunities for growth and development in the modern era. Elite Home Exteriors NW is a local Siding Pros Contractor to the St.Johns area. We are LEAD Paint Certified and ready to help transform your homes exterior! Interesting Facts about St. Johns, Oregon - Oldest Neighborhood in Portland: St. Johns is one of the oldest neighborhoods in Portland, with a rich history dating back to its founding in 1902. It was originally an independent city before being annexed by Portland in 1915. - St. Johns Bridge: The iconic St. Johns Bridge, completed in 1931, is one of the most recognizable landmarks in the neighborhood. Designed by renowned engineer David B. Steinman, the bridge is known for its Gothic-style towers and greenish hue, which comes from the copper content in its steel. - Cathedral Park: Located beneath the St. Johns Bridge, Cathedral Park is a popular destination known for its stunning views of the bridge and the Willamette River. It's named for the cathedral-like appearance of the bridge's towers and is a favorite spot for picnics, concerts, and outdoor activities. - Historic Architecture: St. Johns boasts a variety of historic architecture, including Victorian homes, Craftsman bungalows, and commercial buildings from the early 20th century. Many of these buildings have been lovingly preserved and contribute to the neighborhood's unique character. - Community Events: St. Johns is known for its strong sense of community and hosts several annual events and festivals. These include the St. Johns Bizarre, a street fair featuring local artisans, musicians, and food vendors, as well as the St. Johns Parade, which celebrates the neighborhood's history and diversity. - Filming Location: St. Johns has served as a filming location for several movies and television shows, thanks to its picturesque scenery and historic charm. Notable productions filmed in the area include "Twilight" and the TV series "Grimm." - Urban Renewal: In recent years, St. Johns has undergone a revitalization, with efforts to preserve its historic buildings and promote economic development. New businesses, restaurants, and breweries have opened in the area, adding to its vibrant cultural scene. - Community Organizations: St. Johns is home to numerous community organizations and nonprofits dedicated to supporting local residents and preserving the neighborhood's heritage. These organizations work on issues such as housing affordability, environmental sustainability, and social justice. Overall, St. Johns offers a blend of history, natural beauty, and community spirit that makes it a unique and beloved neighborhood in Portland. See what homeowners are saying about our work!   Get a Free Estimate on Your Siding Replacement today! - Portland OR - North Portland OR - St Johns OR - NE Portland OR - SE Portland OR - SW Portland OR - Northwest Portland OR - Southeast Portland OR - Southwest Portland OR - Gresham OR - North Gresham OR - Fairview OR - Troutdale OR - Corbett OR - Mt Hood OR - Welches OR - Happy Valley OR - Clackamas OR - Oregon City OR - Molalla OR - Sherwood OR - Estacada OR - West Linn OR - Tigard OR - Lake Oswego OR - Milwaukie OR - Gladstone OR - Beaverton OR - South Beaverton OR - Hillsboro OR - Aloha OR - Tualatin OR - Sherwood OR - Willsonville OR - Tanasbourne OR - North Plains OR - Cornelius OR - Forest Grove OR - Banks OR Read the full article

[sidingcontractorsnearme]

Siding Contractors St Johns OR - Copy

St Johns OR Siding Contractor St Johns #1 James Hardie Preferred Siding Contractor! ELITE Installation & ELITE Preferred Services. Get a Free Estimate on Your Siding Replacement Transformation The History of St. Johns Portland Oregon St. Johns is a neighborhood located in the northern part of Portland, Oregon, USA. Here's a brief overview of its history: - Early Settlement: St. Johns was originally inhabited by indigenous peoples of the Chinook tribe, who lived along the Willamette River for thousands of years before European settlers arrived. The area was abundant in natural resources, including fish from the river and fertile land for agriculture. - European Settlement: In the mid-19th century, European settlers began arriving in the region, attracted by the opportunities for farming and logging. The establishment of the Oregon Trail and the Donation Land Claim Act of 1850 further encouraged settlement in the area. - Development of St. Johns: St. Johns was founded as a separate city in 1902 by James John, a prominent early settler and businessman. The area was originally known as St. Johns by the Bridge due to its proximity to the St. Johns Bridge, which was completed in 1931 and spans the Willamette River, connecting St. Johns to the rest of Portland. - Industrial Growth: St. Johns experienced rapid growth in the early 20th century, fueled by its location along the river, which made it a hub for shipping, fishing, and industrial activities. Sawmills, shipyards, and other industrial facilities were established, providing jobs and economic opportunities for residents. - Annexation by Portland: In 1915, St. Johns was annexed by the city of Portland, becoming part of the larger metropolitan area. Despite this, St. Johns maintained its distinct identity as a neighborhood with its own commercial district and community institutions. - Economic Decline and Revitalization: Like many industrial areas, St. Johns faced economic decline in the latter half of the 20th century due to changes in industry and urban development patterns. However, in recent years, the neighborhood has undergone revitalization efforts, with the restoration of historic buildings, the development of new businesses, and a growing interest in its cultural heritage and community character. Today, St. Johns is known for its diverse population, vibrant arts scene, and scenic riverfront location. It retains its historic charm while embracing new opportunities for growth and development in the modern era. Elite Home Exteriors NW is a local Siding Pros Contractor to the St.Johns area. We are LEAD Paint Certified and ready to help transform your homes exterior! Interesting Facts about St. Johns, Oregon - Oldest Neighborhood in Portland: St. Johns is one of the oldest neighborhoods in Portland, with a rich history dating back to its founding in 1902. It was originally an independent city before being annexed by Portland in 1915. - St. Johns Bridge: The iconic St. Johns Bridge, completed in 1931, is one of the most recognizable landmarks in the neighborhood. Designed by renowned engineer David B. Steinman, the bridge is known for its Gothic-style towers and greenish hue, which comes from the copper content in its steel. - Cathedral Park: Located beneath the St. Johns Bridge, Cathedral Park is a popular destination known for its stunning views of the bridge and the Willamette River. It's named for the cathedral-like appearance of the bridge's towers and is a favorite spot for picnics, concerts, and outdoor activities. - Historic Architecture: St. Johns boasts a variety of historic architecture, including Victorian homes, Craftsman bungalows, and commercial buildings from the early 20th century. Many of these buildings have been lovingly preserved and contribute to the neighborhood's unique character. - Community Events: St. Johns is known for its strong sense of community and hosts several annual events and festivals. These include the St. Johns Bizarre, a street fair featuring local artisans, musicians, and food vendors, as well as the St. Johns Parade, which celebrates the neighborhood's history and diversity. - Filming Location: St. Johns has served as a filming location for several movies and television shows, thanks to its picturesque scenery and historic charm. Notable productions filmed in the area include "Twilight" and the TV series "Grimm." - Urban Renewal: In recent years, St. Johns has undergone a revitalization, with efforts to preserve its historic buildings and promote economic development. New businesses, restaurants, and breweries have opened in the area, adding to its vibrant cultural scene. - Community Organizations: St. Johns is home to numerous community organizations and nonprofits dedicated to supporting local residents and preserving the neighborhood's heritage. These organizations work on issues such as housing affordability, environmental sustainability, and social justice. Overall, St. Johns offers a blend of history, natural beauty, and community spirit that makes it a unique and beloved neighborhood in Portland. See what homeowners are saying about our work!   Get a Free Estimate on Your Siding Replacement today! - Portland OR - North Portland OR - St Johns OR - NE Portland OR - SE Portland OR - SW Portland OR - Northwest Portland OR - Southeast Portland OR - Southwest Portland OR - Gresham OR - North Gresham OR - Fairview OR - Troutdale OR - Corbett OR - Mt Hood OR - Welches OR - Happy Valley OR - Clackamas OR - Oregon City OR - Molalla OR - Sherwood OR - Estacada OR - West Linn OR - Tigard OR - Lake Oswego OR - Milwaukie OR - Gladstone OR - Beaverton OR - South Beaverton OR - Hillsboro OR - Aloha OR - Tualatin OR - Sherwood OR - Willsonville OR - Tanasbourne OR - North Plains OR - Cornelius OR - Forest Grove OR - Banks OR Read the full article

[sidingprocontractorvancouverwa]

Siding Contractors St Johns OR - Copy

St Johns OR Siding Contractor St Johns #1 James Hardie Preferred Siding Contractor! ELITE Installation & ELITE Preferred Services. Get a Free Estimate on Your Siding Replacement Transformation The History of St. Johns Portland Oregon St. Johns is a neighborhood located in the northern part of Portland, Oregon, USA. Here's a brief overview of its history: - Early Settlement: St. Johns was originally inhabited by indigenous peoples of the Chinook tribe, who lived along the Willamette River for thousands of years before European settlers arrived. The area was abundant in natural resources, including fish from the river and fertile land for agriculture. - European Settlement: In the mid-19th century, European settlers began arriving in the region, attracted by the opportunities for farming and logging. The establishment of the Oregon Trail and the Donation Land Claim Act of 1850 further encouraged settlement in the area. - Development of St. Johns: St. Johns was founded as a separate city in 1902 by James John, a prominent early settler and businessman. The area was originally known as St. Johns by the Bridge due to its proximity to the St. Johns Bridge, which was completed in 1931 and spans the Willamette River, connecting St. Johns to the rest of Portland. - Industrial Growth: St. Johns experienced rapid growth in the early 20th century, fueled by its location along the river, which made it a hub for shipping, fishing, and industrial activities. Sawmills, shipyards, and other industrial facilities were established, providing jobs and economic opportunities for residents. - Annexation by Portland: In 1915, St. Johns was annexed by the city of Portland, becoming part of the larger metropolitan area. Despite this, St. Johns maintained its distinct identity as a neighborhood with its own commercial district and community institutions. - Economic Decline and Revitalization: Like many industrial areas, St. Johns faced economic decline in the latter half of the 20th century due to changes in industry and urban development patterns. However, in recent years, the neighborhood has undergone revitalization efforts, with the restoration of historic buildings, the development of new businesses, and a growing interest in its cultural heritage and community character. Today, St. Johns is known for its diverse population, vibrant arts scene, and scenic riverfront location. It retains its historic charm while embracing new opportunities for growth and development in the modern era. Elite Home Exteriors NW is a local Siding Pros Contractor to the St.Johns area. We are LEAD Paint Certified and ready to help transform your homes exterior! Interesting Facts about St. Johns, Oregon - Oldest Neighborhood in Portland: St. Johns is one of the oldest neighborhoods in Portland, with a rich history dating back to its founding in 1902. It was originally an independent city before being annexed by Portland in 1915. - St. Johns Bridge: The iconic St. Johns Bridge, completed in 1931, is one of the most recognizable landmarks in the neighborhood. Designed by renowned engineer David B. Steinman, the bridge is known for its Gothic-style towers and greenish hue, which comes from the copper content in its steel. - Cathedral Park: Located beneath the St. Johns Bridge, Cathedral Park is a popular destination known for its stunning views of the bridge and the Willamette River. It's named for the cathedral-like appearance of the bridge's towers and is a favorite spot for picnics, concerts, and outdoor activities. - Historic Architecture: St. Johns boasts a variety of historic architecture, including Victorian homes, Craftsman bungalows, and commercial buildings from the early 20th century. Many of these buildings have been lovingly preserved and contribute to the neighborhood's unique character. - Community Events: St. Johns is known for its strong sense of community and hosts several annual events and festivals. These include the St. Johns Bizarre, a street fair featuring local artisans, musicians, and food vendors, as well as the St. Johns Parade, which celebrates the neighborhood's history and diversity. - Filming Location: St. Johns has served as a filming location for several movies and television shows, thanks to its picturesque scenery and historic charm. Notable productions filmed in the area include "Twilight" and the TV series "Grimm." - Urban Renewal: In recent years, St. Johns has undergone a revitalization, with efforts to preserve its historic buildings and promote economic development. New businesses, restaurants, and breweries have opened in the area, adding to its vibrant cultural scene. - Community Organizations: St. Johns is home to numerous community organizations and nonprofits dedicated to supporting local residents and preserving the neighborhood's heritage. These organizations work on issues such as housing affordability, environmental sustainability, and social justice. Overall, St. Johns offers a blend of history, natural beauty, and community spirit that makes it a unique and beloved neighborhood in Portland. See what homeowners are saying about our work!   Get a Free Estimate on Your Siding Replacement today! - Portland OR - North Portland OR - St Johns OR - NE Portland OR - SE Portland OR - SW Portland OR - Northwest Portland OR - Southeast Portland OR - Southwest Portland OR - Gresham OR - North Gresham OR - Fairview OR - Troutdale OR - Corbett OR - Mt Hood OR - Welches OR - Happy Valley OR - Clackamas OR - Oregon City OR - Molalla OR - Sherwood OR - Estacada OR - West Linn OR - Tigard OR - Lake Oswego OR - Milwaukie OR - Gladstone OR - Beaverton OR - South Beaverton OR - Hillsboro OR - Aloha OR - Tualatin OR - Sherwood OR - Willsonville OR - Tanasbourne OR - North Plains OR - Cornelius OR - Forest Grove OR - Banks OR Read the full article

[sidingprocontractorportlandor]

Siding Contractors St Johns OR - Copy

St Johns OR Siding Contractor St Johns #1 James Hardie Preferred Siding Contractor! ELITE Installation & ELITE Preferred Services. Get a Free Estimate on Your Siding Replacement Transformation The History of St. Johns Portland Oregon St. Johns is a neighborhood located in the northern part of Portland, Oregon, USA. Here's a brief overview of its history: - Early Settlement: St. Johns was originally inhabited by indigenous peoples of the Chinook tribe, who lived along the Willamette River for thousands of years before European settlers arrived. The area was abundant in natural resources, including fish from the river and fertile land for agriculture. - European Settlement: In the mid-19th century, European settlers began arriving in the region, attracted by the opportunities for farming and logging. The establishment of the Oregon Trail and the Donation Land Claim Act of 1850 further encouraged settlement in the area. - Development of St. Johns: St. Johns was founded as a separate city in 1902 by James John, a prominent early settler and businessman. The area was originally known as St. Johns by the Bridge due to its proximity to the St. Johns Bridge, which was completed in 1931 and spans the Willamette River, connecting St. Johns to the rest of Portland. - Industrial Growth: St. Johns experienced rapid growth in the early 20th century, fueled by its location along the river, which made it a hub for shipping, fishing, and industrial activities. Sawmills, shipyards, and other industrial facilities were established, providing jobs and economic opportunities for residents. - Annexation by Portland: In 1915, St. Johns was annexed by the city of Portland, becoming part of the larger metropolitan area. Despite this, St. Johns maintained its distinct identity as a neighborhood with its own commercial district and community institutions. - Economic Decline and Revitalization: Like many industrial areas, St. Johns faced economic decline in the latter half of the 20th century due to changes in industry and urban development patterns. However, in recent years, the neighborhood has undergone revitalization efforts, with the restoration of historic buildings, the development of new businesses, and a growing interest in its cultural heritage and community character. Today, St. Johns is known for its diverse population, vibrant arts scene, and scenic riverfront location. It retains its historic charm while embracing new opportunities for growth and development in the modern era. Elite Home Exteriors NW is a local Siding Pros Contractor to the St.Johns area. We are LEAD Paint Certified and ready to help transform your homes exterior! Interesting Facts about St. Johns, Oregon - Oldest Neighborhood in Portland: St. Johns is one of the oldest neighborhoods in Portland, with a rich history dating back to its founding in 1902. It was originally an independent city before being annexed by Portland in 1915. - St. Johns Bridge: The iconic St. Johns Bridge, completed in 1931, is one of the most recognizable landmarks in the neighborhood. Designed by renowned engineer David B. Steinman, the bridge is known for its Gothic-style towers and greenish hue, which comes from the copper content in its steel. - Cathedral Park: Located beneath the St. Johns Bridge, Cathedral Park is a popular destination known for its stunning views of the bridge and the Willamette River. It's named for the cathedral-like appearance of the bridge's towers and is a favorite spot for picnics, concerts, and outdoor activities. - Historic Architecture: St. Johns boasts a variety of historic architecture, including Victorian homes, Craftsman bungalows, and commercial buildings from the early 20th century. Many of these buildings have been lovingly preserved and contribute to the neighborhood's unique character. - Community Events: St. Johns is known for its strong sense of community and hosts several annual events and festivals. These include the St. Johns Bizarre, a street fair featuring local artisans, musicians, and food vendors, as well as the St. Johns Parade, which celebrates the neighborhood's history and diversity. - Filming Location: St. Johns has served as a filming location for several movies and television shows, thanks to its picturesque scenery and historic charm. Notable productions filmed in the area include "Twilight" and the TV series "Grimm." - Urban Renewal: In recent years, St. Johns has undergone a revitalization, with efforts to preserve its historic buildings and promote economic development. New businesses, restaurants, and breweries have opened in the area, adding to its vibrant cultural scene. - Community Organizations: St. Johns is home to numerous community organizations and nonprofits dedicated to supporting local residents and preserving the neighborhood's heritage. These organizations work on issues such as housing affordability, environmental sustainability, and social justice. Overall, St. Johns offers a blend of history, natural beauty, and community spirit that makes it a unique and beloved neighborhood in Portland. See what homeowners are saying about our work!   Get a Free Estimate on Your Siding Replacement today! - Portland OR - North Portland OR - St Johns OR - NE Portland OR - SE Portland OR - SW Portland OR - Northwest Portland OR - Southeast Portland OR - Southwest Portland OR - Gresham OR - North Gresham OR - Fairview OR - Troutdale OR - Corbett OR - Mt Hood OR - Welches OR - Happy Valley OR - Clackamas OR - Oregon City OR - Molalla OR - Sherwood OR - Estacada OR - West Linn OR - Tigard OR - Lake Oswego OR - Milwaukie OR - Gladstone OR - Beaverton OR - South Beaverton OR - Hillsboro OR - Aloha OR - Tualatin OR - Sherwood OR - Willsonville OR - Tanasbourne OR - North Plains OR - Cornelius OR - Forest Grove OR - Banks OR Read the full article

[mschmdtphotography]

**Historical Stories of Exile**

Book Title: Historical Stories of Exile Authors: Cryssa Bazos, Anna Belfrage, Elizabeth Chadwick, Cathie Dunn, J G Harlond, Helen Hollick, Loretta Livingstone, Amy Maroney, Alison Morton, Charlene Newcomb, Elizabeth St.John, Marian L. Thorpe, Annie Whitehead. With an introduction by Deborah Swift OFFICIAL LAUNCH  PARTY Date: 16th November 2023 Publisher: Taw River Press Page Length:…

[christophe76460]

BIOGRAPHIE D'ALEXANDER WHITAKER

Alexander Whitaker est un théologien protestant né à Cambridge en 1585. Il était le fils de William Whitaker (1548-1595), également théologien protestant et professeur au Collège St.John de Cambridge. Whitaker fils fait ses études au Trinity College de Cambridge où il eut pour condisciples John Cotton et John Winthrop. Il devient un membre du clergé dans le nord de l'Angleterre.

Il s'installe en Amérique du Nord dans la colonie de Virginie en 1611. À son arrivée, Jamestown disposant déjà d'un pasteur, il est envoyé à l'intérieur des terres et fonde la paroisse d'Henrico, en l'honneur d'Henri, fils aîné du roi Jacques Ier.

Pasteur populaire tant parmi les colons que les indigènes, il est surnommé l'"apôtre de la Virginie" par ses contemporains. Il est à l'origine de la conversion de Pocahontas et officie son baptême. Plus tard, il concélébrera avec le révérend Richard Bucke le mariage de Pocahontas avec John Rolfe.

Whitaker est mort par noyade dans la James River en 1616.

[faeryqueenwitch]

🧚🎉Fairy Festivals🎉🧚

🎉 Fairy festivals take place at crossover points in the seasons. Equinoxes and solstices are determined by the position of the Sun, but the other four festivals are celebrated when the time feels right, so the dates given below are approximate.

🎉 There are other festivals too,such as Christmas Eve,Christmas Day, and New Year’s Day. Any human festival that touches on old traditions,from Ramadan to a Japanese Flower Festival, is a fairy feast. If you celebrate these festivals and make the effort to tune into what concerns the fairies, you will draw closer to their world. If you celebrate a special meal, remember to leave a little outside afterward for the fairies

1.  🌷 Imbolic - 🌷

February 2 in the Northern Hemisphere/July 31 in the Southern Hemisphere

Imbolc means “in the belly,” and this is the time when life stirs in the belly of the earth. Frost sparkles and the pale light lingers each evening,bringing the message that spring is on the horizon. Imbolc is the delicate crossover point from winter’s depths into the New Year. It is a feast of lightness and brightness,but also a time of cleansing,to make way for the new. The Hag, who is Dark Goddess or Dark Fairy, gives way now to the Maiden, who is young and radiant.

Fairies love neatness and good housekeeping,so it is a good idea to have a late-winter sort-out,in preparation for fresh activity. While the fairies are busy coaxing snowdrops and crocuses out of the winter-hard earth,do something creative of your own,such as knitting,painting,or writing poetry. Ask the fairies to lend you a little of their magic by leaving them an offering,such as a piece of wool or a verse written just for them.

This feast is also called candlemas,sacred to St.Bridget,who was the successor to the pagan goddess Bride (pronounced “Breed”). Bride was the keeper of the sacred flame,which represents eternal life. She is the patroness of poetry,smithcraft,child birth, and healing, and is a very powerful fairy indeed. Invite her into your home by lighting as many candles as you like, in your windows and around your house. Ask her to bless your projects for the coming year,and pledge a special act of caring for the natural world in return,to seal your pact as the year waxes.

2. 🌼 Spring Equinox- 🌼

March 21 in the Northern Hemisphere/September 21 in the Southern Hemisphere

The fairies are very busy at the Spring Equinox,looking after all the flowers that are newly blooming.Scandinavian fairies become active now: the Russian cellar fairy,The Domoviyr,casts off its skin and grows a lighter one for summer; and the Russian Rusalki,or river fairies are glimpsed by lakes swollen with melted snow.

A tree planting project is a very fairy-friendly activity at this time. A seasonal blitz on the garden is also called for. While you are hard at work, digging and pulling away at dead winter twigs, it is easy to go into a kind of trance. This, coupled with the spell of the natural world around you,can create the perfect state of mind to catch a glimpse of fairies.You can be sure they are near you,helping you with their energies.Plant some seeds of your choice and, as you put them in the earth, close your eyes and make a special request for fairy help. Visualize the fairies tending your seeds,giving them their love and care. Ask out loud for the fairies to help you,and sing or hum and you plant. Touch the soft soil with your bare hands and make real contact with the earth.

Place water in a pottery or glass jug (plastic or metal is best avoided) and leave it out in the noon sunshine. Ask the fairies to bless it. Imagine them dancing around it and coming up to touch it with their glimmering fingers. Use the water to give your houseplants a special spring blessing.

The Green Man is a powerful nature spirit that has been sensed by many people. He is represented in numerous churches as the Foliate Mask (a face made up of leaves),and one theory about his presence is that the masons who fabricated him had hidden sympathies with the old nature- worship. He is making his appearance now on some new park benches and monuments. However, you can make contact with the real Green Man out alone walking through the woodland. Ancient and wise,he is watching you. Catch a glimpse of him behind tree trunks or in the lacework of budding branches. Hear his footfalls behind you as you walk. He is the very breath of Nature, and his strength is bursting forth in springtime.

3. 💐 Beltane - 💐

April 30 in the Northern Hemisphere/October 31 in the Southern Hemisphere

Of all the festivals, Beltane is the most flagrantly joyful and sensuous as Nature is bursting forth with beauty and excitement. This was the Celtic beginning of summer, and also marked an important transition for the people of Fairy, for it was the time when the Milesian Celts landed on the shores of south-west Ireland. With this, the last of the magical peoples,the Tuatha de Danann, receded from the the world of humans into the Hollow Hills and became the people of the Sidhe.

However, they and the other fairy folk have not gone very far. You will find them dancing in a bluebell wood or skipping in the sunshine,sheltered by a greening hedge. Beltane is the time when good fairies reign supreme and bad fairies retreat. Fairies are very active now and may try to steal butter,or some of the ritual fire that used to be ignited on hilltops and is still lit by modern pagans.

This is the maypole season, but instead you can always dance around a friendly tree. Link hands with friends, and you may find yourselves spontaneously re-creating the kind of things people used to to do when seeing fairies was commonplace:lingering,walking,and talking, in the open air, away from television,computers,and other modern distractions.

There are many tales of beautiful fairies marrying mortals. Such tales usually end in tragedy, for fairy and human can never truly be joined. Better to borrow some of the fairy enchantment by performing a little magic of your own! Rise early on May Day and wash your face in the dew or simply walk in it. As the rhyme says: “The fairy maid who, the first of May Goes to the fields at break of day, And walk in dew from the hawthorn tree, Will ever handsome be.”

Welsh legend tells how the hero Pwll saw the Lady Rhiannon riding past him at Beltane and, after pursuing her, he eventually won her. Rhiannon is one aspect of the Fairy Queen,riding on her white horse between the worlds. As you sit quietly outside,on a bank in the late spring dusk,listen for the sounds of her horse’s hooves,and open your eyes to the shimmer of her sea-blue cloak. When Rhiannon touches your heart, she will fill it with love and inspiration.

4. 🌹 Midsummer -  🌹

June 22 in the Northern Hemisphere/December 22 in the Southern Hemisphere

This is one of the most magical times of the year, when fairies are very active and visible, playing pranks and even, it is said, stealing away the young and beautiful to join them in the Hollow Hills. The sun is now at the height of its strength and this is an important crossover point,such as the fairies love. For at the Midsummer Solstice the sun stands still, before beginning to recede as we move into the waning half of the year.

Flowers are colorful and luxuriant, and one radiant day seems to merge into another, as late dusk meets early dawn. At no time is the natural world more inviting. Take part in it by going on quests -long walks to sacred spots,evening camping out with the minimum of equipment,to draw close to the mystery that is all around, and to the Fair Folk in particular.

The rose is possibly the most sensuous bloom of all, and at midsummer it is often at its most gorgeous. Roses in the garden are especially likely to attract fairies. Distil water from rose petals and add it to your bath, asking the fairies to lend you some of their enchantment and to help you attract love. Brew tea from rosebuds and drink it,to increase your psychic powers.Plant a rose bush with a friend, to affirm the loving bound between you and invite the fairies into your life.

St.John’s wort is a herb known to break any negative fairy enchantment and drive away depression. Pluck some on Midsummer’s Day and carry it, to keep cheerful.

Look out for water nymphs by streams, or for undines for water elementals on the seashore- or for even the Lady of the Lake herself,rising from the luminous depths.In olden times, these beings were said to have no souls. It is closer to the truth to say that they do not have human morals. Conventions often conceal or feelings, but the beauty of the water fairies opens us to our unconscious tides; see them and let yourself be transformed.

5. 🌾Lammas- 🌾

July 31 in the Northern Hemisphere/February 2 in the Southern Hemisphere

Lammas is “Loaf Mass,” a christian version of a much older festival known as Lughnasadh, or the “Feast of Lugh.” Lugh was a Celtic god,lord of the Tuatha de Danann, and his name means “bright one.” Lughnasadh is a major fairy festival, and many fairies become active during this period,such as the Russian Polevik, who kicks sleepy harvesters awake. It is also a time when fairies move about in preparation for winter,and processions of them may be seen as a line of twinkling lights moving between the hills in the countryside.

At Lammas, the fields are golden with corn and splashed with red poppies. It is hazy,lazy time of holidays and abundance,but there is an underlying theme of death,for the Corn Spirit must be sacrificed in order to reap the harvest. If you walk out into a field of ripe wheat, you may sense the anger of the nature spirits as what is to be taken from the earth,even thought that is a part of the natural cycle of life.Gather up some ears of wheat and tie them into a bunch with red thread,to make a charm for the coming winter to hang over your hearth. At the same time,pledge an act of caring for the earth,such as clearing a derelict site in your neighborhood or garden, or planting and tending a herb, as payment for what you-and all of us- take from it.

At home, bake your own bread, using the rising of the dough as a spell to ensure that everything prospers in your life. While you are kneading the bread dough, say to yourself “As this dough swells, so may my fortunes increase.” Ask for your own personal Brownie, or house fairy, to come and help your bread rise- and remember to leave some breadcrumbs outside afterward,for the fairies.

Some say that Lugh is lord of the waning year, and his dance- through the waving,whispering corn- is a dance of death. If so, it is a reminder that all things come in cycles,and that everything is united in love and beauty. Stand at the edge of a sun-kissed wheat field and see the shimmer and sway that betrays the presence of Lugh. Take a few moments to feel respect for the earth in your heart, and understand the meaning of the Wheel of Life.

6. 🍁 Autumn Equinox (Mabon) - 🍁

September 21 in the Northern Hemisphere/March 21 in the Southern Hemisphere

At the Autumn Equinox, Nature stands poised between light and dark,but darkness is gaining. The veil between this world and the Otherworld is at its thinnest, and all manner of spirit visitations are more frequent now.

The hedgerows are beaded with berries,and mist lingers in the hollows. Sometimes the wind whistles in from nowhere and tosses baring branches. On other says, the mellow sun caresses the fields with slanting fingers. It is a time for reflection, but also for industry. In days gone by, preserves would be made for winter store and the help of the Good Folk would be sought by country people.

Absorb the atmosphere of the season by going blackberrying. In Celtic countries, there may be a taboo on eating blackberries, because these belong especially to fairies. However, as long as you gather them with respect and do not denude the bramble bushes, they will hardly object. Better still,leave out some of your homemade blackberry pie or wine for them,so that they will bless you. When this month ends, leave the blackberries alone and move on. Also look out for a bramble bush that forms an arch-so much the better if it faces east/west, for that mirrors the passage of the sun. Crawl through this three times on a sunny day to be healed of physical ills, especially rheumatism and skin troubles.

At this mysterious time, pay honor to Queen Mab. Her special gift is to bring dreams and visions to birth within us. She is really one of many manifestations of the Goddess, in her autumnal guise of wise-woman and Lady of Magic, and she is linked with ancient ideas of sovereignty- for the king drew his power from the land, and Mab presided.

Preferably at the Full Moon closest to the equinox,place good-quality wine in a stemmed glass or chalice,and take it into the garden or a secluded place.Raise the glass to the Moon,say, “Mab, I honor you”and pour some of the wine onto the earth. Drink a little and say, “Mab, I drink with you,” Then return home,light a bright-green candle beside your bed,gaze at the flame and say, “Mab,give me wisdom,” Place some jasmine or rose oil on your pillow,extinguish the candle-and drift into Fairyland. This is a little ritual that you can repeat during any Full Moon if you wish.

7. 🎃 Samhain - 🎃

October 31 in the Northern Hemisphere/April 30 in the Southern Hemisphere

Samhain means “summer’s end” and is pronounced “sa-wen.” This ancient Celtic festival at the official start of the winter was later Christianized as Halloween- a time when the dead were remembered. There was always a sinister aspect to Samhain,because certain sacrifices had to be made in order to survive the coming cold weather. Animals had to be slaughtered,and some say that human sacrifice took place to propitiate the spirits. Sacrifice,however, is a corruption of nature worship,for life is hard enough as it is and all we have to do is show respect.

Barrow mounds,shrouded in mist,are particularly eerie places at Samhain. Draw close,if you dare,and sit quietly.Do you hear the strange,far-off noise of fairy music,or the sound of knocking? Maybe the mound will open for you and unearthly light will stream over the barren fields.After Samhain,the earth is given over to the powers of darkness and decay.No crops or berries may be harvested after this time,because the Phooka, a malevolent Irish Fairy,blights them. The true meaning here,of course,is that death and decay have a place in the natural order,requiring due honor and respect lest they get out of hand.

Traditionally, this is the start of the story telling season. While the wind whistles around the eaves or the mist comes down outside,gather family or friends around your hearth- preferably with a real fire burning in it. If you do not have an open hearth,substitute a collection of large,burning candles. Sit round and speak of times gone by and people who have passed over to the other side.Ask the Beloved Dead to be present, if you wish(but note that this is not a seance,and the Beloved Dead are invited,not summoned). Laugh,share funny stories,feast,and drink.

Cerridwen is the Underworld Goddess and the Fairy Hag most associated with this time. In her magic cauldron,she stirs a brew that confers inspiration and transformation. Simmer up a hearty soup of root vegetables or pumpkin, to share with friends,then light a black candle and ask Cerridwen to guide you through the darkness into the light. You will  be both safe and wise.

8.  ❄️ Yule - ❄️

December 22 in the Northern Hemisphere/June 22 in the Southern Hemisphere

Yule is the Midwinter Solstice, when the sun again appears to stand still,as it did at midsummer,but the season is poised for the return of light. Celebrations of Christ’s birth were moved to coincide with the much more ancient solstice.

As you deck your Christmas tree,remember that the evergreen is a powerful symbol of the enduring life in Nature. Of course,is has a fairy on top of it,confirming that it is a festival of the Fair Folk,who also rejoice in the sun’s rebirth. Decorating your tree is an important magical act,for the decorations are fairy charms. Each member of the family should hang at least one special charm of their own,to enable a wish to come true.

Jack Frost is an active fairy in the cold weather,painting windows with intricate lacework. In Russia he is called Father Frost,the soul of winter,covering the trees in ice. Do not shrink from the frost fairy-go out and wonder at his works and he will reward you with hope and joy,just as in Russia Father Frost brings presents for the children on New Year’s Day.

By far the best-known and most powerful fairy at Yule is Father Christmas himself. Today we know him by his robes of red and white, but in the past he also wore green and other colors. As we have seen,red is the color both of life and death, and many fairies wear red caps. The hearty red of Father Christmas is a sign that he is an Otherworld being-very much alive,but not of this earth. He is recognized all over the world, as Kris Kringle in Germany and Pere Noel in France. In Brazil he is Papa Noel,and in China Dun Che Loa. He is the essence of Yuletide mystery,joy and renewal,and like many traditional fairies, he comes in and out via the hearth.

When all is quiet on Christmas Eve, get ready to welcome Father Christmas- light a candle and look at the stars. Pledge a gift for a friend and one for the world, and ask for a special gift to answer your heart’s desire. Write your wish on a piece of paper and “post” it up the chimney if you have an open fire. If not, burn it in the candle flame. Can you hear those sleigh bells?

(Art By: IrenHorrors On Deviantart -Link)

[melancholydreadfuldream]

no one rips it up like you

Fandom: Doctor Who

Summary: You are tired of being second best. Hell, you are not even second best. You don't know what number you are on in regard of the Doctor's priority.

 Warning: ooc, angst, plot holes as usual, attempted suicide, death, etc. You have been warned.

    You are tired of being second best. Hell, you are not even second best. You don't know what number you are on in regard of the Doctor's priority. The first place certainly belong to Amy and then River, if the rumour about River being the Doctor's wife is true. 

  You tried not to be jealous of Amy who have the most of the Doctor's attention. But it is hard. You were both his current companion and yet it feels like you are nothing to him. You were not as brave, smart or sassy, like Amy or River. Those are the sort of behaviour the Doctor encouraged in companion. He need that quality in his companion so that they can keep up with him.  

  You have no idea what the Doctor saw in you at the beginning when he invited you into his Tardis but it certainly an opportunity of lifetime and so you accepted his offer. The first time you did meet the Doctor, you did show that once-in-a-while bravery and maybe that is why the Doctor thought you deserved an invitation into his Tardis. Unfortunately, you don't always show that quality of yours during adventure. Honestly, you didn't even have to, what with Amy on the spot ready to speak out her mind, being sassy as hell, toward villains of the days, which always earned her the Doctor's proud smile. And on the occasion of adventures where you stumble with River and her awesomeness, the Doctor is quick to flirt with her.

  You didn't hate Amy or River; jealous, yes, as ugly as that emotion is, it is quite normal. But you found friendship with Amy and respect for River. Amy is kind and protective of you as you often unable to talk back when people are mean to you. River saved your life during the weeping angels fiasco and a few times after. For some reason, River seemed to have some soft spot for you. But then again, maybe she did that because you are the Doctor's companion. She showed concern for you the few times you met which is more that you can say about the Doctor.

 The thing is at first, it wasn't like that. The Doctor always gave both you and Amy the same amount of attention. Somehow along the way, that changed. If you have to point the change, it must be after you, River and the Ponds got invitation from the future Doctor at Lake Silencio. You noticed that the Doctor is always staring at Amy borderline obsessive, as if he is trying to record her every movement. He never has time for you anymore, always quick to be distracted by anything or by Amy.

  It hurts. It is so hurt. At first, you endured it but when time passes and he still ignored you, you have to wonder if he grew tired of you and if he is leaving hints that he want you to leave the Tardis. 

  No one noticed your pain. At least, you thought so, until Rory talked to you and asked if you are okay.

  "I'm always alright." You said with a forced smile. You were honestly surprised that he noticed. You always thought he only have eyes for Amy. But you should have known. Rory is soft and kind to everyone he met and that of course included you.

  "Then why do you look so sad? why do you look like you wanted to cry?" He asked in concern.

  You didn't meant to but you started to cry in front of him. 

  Rory gave you a hug as he awkwardly patted your back in comforting gesture. He gave you tissue to wipe your tears and snots as you told him your insecurity and how lonely you felt most of the times. 

  "I know it was childish of me. Why do I want him to pay attention to me anyway?" You sniffed as fresh hot tears once more filled your eyes. "I am so stupid."

  Rory look pained when he heard your confession. He comforted you, saying the right words to make you feel better about yourself and your situation.

  "I'm sorry." You said after you calmed down some. "I didn't meant to cry on you."

  "It's okay. We are friends, aren't we? If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, feel free to ask me."

  You couldn't help but smile at that. "Aren't you afraid Amy will be jealous?"

  Rory snorted, not unkindly. "I don't think Amy is capable of being jealous."

  You chuckled as you agreed with his statement. Amy is so perfect and so lucky to have a loyal husband as Rory. You only wished you have half of her charm.

  7777

  You didn't know what you were thinking anyway when you saw right before your eyes of the two Doctors' presence in the St.John's Base. No, wait, of course, you do, you wish one of them can maybe pay attention to you now, that is how pathetic you are. Heck, you would settle for the ganger Doctor if only he will turn his eyes on you. But, of course, his eyes glued only on Amy, despite her treatment of his ganger status.

  You don't know what your stand is about the gangers but you know the Doctor will want peace between humans and gangers and so, naturally, you will stand by his firm belief. The Doctor is kind and strive to do the right thing and you can only wish and try to do the same thing as he did. You watched as Amy giggled as the Doctor talked to her and spun the chair she was in around. How come he never spend any time with you anymore? Was there something wrong with you? 

  You sighed as you tried to compose yourself as you instead try to approach the ganger Doctor but he barely able to keep his eyes off Amy, only give you a half-smile, before leaving you behind to go to Amy. Amy, always Amy! You hated yourself for resenting Amy, she is your friend. This feeling of yours is disgusting. No wonder the Doctor didn't pay attention to you. You are so ugly on the inside.

  It was at that moment that you realized you have to either confront the Doctor for the truth or just leave the Tardis forever before your ugly emotion took full control of you. But, you are a coward, you are afraid to confront the Doctor. What if he really ask you to leave? What if he thinks you are not good enough to be his companion? Because, the truth is, you don't want to leave the Doctor or the Tardis. So, what now? Do you just have to endure this pain and hope someday he will set his eyes on you again?

  "(name)? (name)!"

  You blinked your eyes through the tears.

  The Doctor is standing right in front of you with concern in his eyes.

  You wiped your tears. You gulped. "I think I got something in my eyes..." You said dumbly.

  The Doctor look pained at your words. "You can tell me anything that is bothering you."

  "Can I, really?" You didn't meant to say that but you sort of blurted it out.

  The Doctor look surprised that you even have to ask that. "Of course. You are my friend, (name), I care for you."

  You bit your lips. "I..." You can't tell him anything. What if he really ask you to leave later? But the dam is finally broken, despite your will, you ended up blurting it out. "Am I still good enough to be your friend?"

  The Doctor frowned at that.

  "Have you grow tired of me yet?" You asked again despite uttering those despairing questions brought more tears and heartache inside you.

  "What bring this on?" The Doctor asked in concern.

  You scoffed. "You have been ignoring me since forever. If you wanted me to leave, you should have say so." You wanted to hit yourself for saying that.

  "Have I? I didn't realize that I hurt you this badly." The Doctor whispered softly. "I'm so sorry, (name)."

  You wiped your tears again. You refused to look at the Doctor, ashamed and honestly unable to face him anymore.

  The Doctor put his hand over yours. He then pulled your chin up so that you look at him. He smiled kindly at you but his eyes bore sorrow. "You will always be my friend, (name), my precious, soft and kind, friend. I didn't meant to make you feel less about yourself. What I have been doing...I am not ignoring you, (name), I have my reasons and you will understand soon."  He said as he used his thumb to wipe your tears. "I promise."

  You stared at him hesitantly hopeful. Seeing the expression on his face makes you feel guilty for thinking the worst of him but also you feel the tension inside you slowly crumble away. "You better keep your promise..." You finally replied, forcing a smile on your face for his benefit.

  He grinned at you.

  You stood up, wanting to leave the room to wash your face when Amy entered the room in a hurry, quick to approach the Doctor. You bumped into the ganger Doctor. You apologized but he ignored you as he tried to reach out to Amy. Amy yelled at him to stay away. You were rooted to the spot as you watched the rest of the crew turned against the ganger Doctor despite the Doctor's protest. You left the room and goes to the bathroom, washing your face a few times, hoping to wash away the evidence of your breakdown.

  As you stared at the mirror at your reflection, you flinched suddenly at the sudden sharp headaches. You sighed as you pulled a medicine strip from your pocket. You have been having headaches every time after you have a crying fit so you took the medicines everywhere you goes. After you swallowed a pill, you took another look at your reflection, forcing yourself to smile cheerfully. You sighed and returned to face the music.

  The Doctor spoke really fast at everyone about his plan, sending you a smile once in a while. You smiled back at him.

  You really thought that everything will be fine now. But series of events revealed that the Doctor is actually a ganger and that he switched place with the original Doctor. You were confused then, was it all a lie then? If he was the ganger, does everything he says to you still true? You felt like the ground beneath you is about to crack under pressure.

  The ganger Doctor stared at you in sorrow after he said his goodbye with Amy. He suddenly pulled you into a hug as he whispered to you. "Everything I said to you is true, (name), so it is also true for him." 

  You stared at him after he pulled away. "I believe you when you said it but I don't think..." You turned to stare at the original Doctor who looked at your interaction with his ganger-self curiously.

  The ganger Doctor cupped your face. "Be more confident in yourself." He said and then he kissed your forehead. "Good bye, (name)." He pushes you toward the Doctor who is quick to pull you away and inside the Tardis. 

  You turned toward the ganger Doctor just as the door is closed and the last thing you saw is his kind eyes and sad smile and your heart broke for him.

  You fell down on the floor as the Doctor goes to the console to put coordinates to get the Tardis away.

  It was Rory who come to you and asked if you are okay as Amy went to apologizes to the Doctor.

  7777

  It was revealed that Amy is a ganger and that she has apparently been kidnapped for a long time. The Doctor finally revealed why he was obsessed with Amy. You felt like a fool once you learned the truth.

  The Doctor and Rory quickly prepared themselves to go to wars so to speak.

  You were tasked to get River on board the Tardis as you made your way to her prison room at Stormcage. River is dressed beautifully and is humming a song when you saw her. You explained what is going on to her.

  "Demons Run?" She asked you. She look stunned. "This is the day the Doctor found out who I really am." She turned to look at you suddenly and her eyes look sad. She walked toward you and pulled one of your hands. "I'm so sorry, (name), but you need to remember to hold on for the Doctor. He will need you."

  You blinked in confusion.

  River smiled before stepping away from you, not explaining what she meant.

  7777

  The Doctor was able to rescue Amy and baby Melody. You honestly didn't do anything worthy during the mission but you still feel victorious when you saw the Ponds reunited and crying over the baby. The Doctor walked into a room and put his arms on you as he watched the Ponds with a satisfied smile. He exchanged a look at you and grinned. You couldn't help but chuckles.

  You smiled as you also played with baby Melody. You were in awe of the newborn. Amy jokingly called you to be the god mother of her baby. You smiled widely at her as you declared yourself to be the best aunt ever. Deep inside you feel guilty for ever resenting Amy before.

  You thought that will be the happy ending they need to wrap it up. But the Doctor said they can't leave the base until they figure out why they want Amy's baby. The Doctor left to meet Madam Vastra in the control room.

  You smiled as you watched baby Melody inside the Doctor's crib as Rory and Amy playfully argued with each other. You left to follow the Doctor once Amy have baby Melody in her arms humming a lullaby. You walked on the long corridor into the console room where you saw Madam Vastra and Dorium who went back to where the others are.

  Your smartphone suddenly rang. The contact said 'Home'. You received the call just as you are about to enter the room but stopped short when you heard the Doctor yelled at the monitor.

  It was Madam Kovarian. For someone who already lost, she sounded so smug. 

  "Oh Doctor, fooling you once was a joy, but fooling you twice the same way? It's a privilege." Madam Kovarian grinned evilly at him. before the communication shut off by itself.

  The Doctor looked confused at first before his eyes widened in horror but just as he turned around to leave the room, he bumped into you. He was surprised to see you and more surprised when he suddenly feel a sudden sharp pain in his body. His eyes widened in disbelief as he took a look at you.

  You were staring at him with blank eyes. On your hand, a bloodied knife make its contact with the Doctor's flesh body. 

  "(name)?"

  You pulled the knife out and then twist it back inside a few more times, still with a blank expression on your face.

  The Doctor gripped his wounds with his hands. He reached out to you with one of his bloodied hand, smearing his blood on your face before falling to the floor.

  You blinked your eyes a few times as the haze inside your mind finally cleared. You glanced down and screamed at what you saw. You quickly bend your knees as you fussed over the Doctor. The Doctor is not responsive.

  You ran into the console in front of you trying to use speaker system to call out Rory for help but for the life of you, you couldn't figure all the buttons. You finally figures it out and you screamed for Rory, telling him the Doctor is hurt. You have no idea though if your voice come through.

  It was then you notice the blood on your hands and the bloodied knife in your grip. You dropped the knife in horror as your mind slowly supplied what it meant.

  You couldn't breathe. Your heart pounding hard. Your head is splitting with a sudden sharp headache. You fell on the floor. You stared at your hands as your body trembled from shock and fear. You screamed. You screamed and screamed. Distinctly you know you should warn everyone, should get the Doctor the help he needed, but for some reason, you couldn't stop screaming.

  Your vision suddenly started to grew blurry before black is all you can see. Distinctly you saw the Doctor's body started to glow yellow just before you lose consciousness.

  7777

  You woke up inside your room back in the Tardis.

  "You are awake."

  Your mind does not register the presence of a man in black suit. You blinked a few times until your vision cleared. 

  The man stared at you flatly.

  "W-who are you?" You asked nervously clutching on your blanket.

  "The Doctor."

  You blinked in confusion. "What about him?"

  He raised his attack eyebrows at you, not impressed that you still not getting it. "I am him."

  Your mind went blank at that. It was then you remembered, finding the Doctor's bloodied figure on the floor. You gasped. "The Doctor...is dead..."

  "I'm really not. I regenerated. Well, that part was very surprising considering I should no longer have any regeneration left." The Doctor said.

  "I...I killed him."

  The Doctor stared at you, not contradicting your claim. He sat there, observing you as you cried, full on sobbing. He made no move to comfort you. He looked cross. 

  You sobbed tearfully. "What have I done?"

  He sighed. "Don't cry. I am no good at crying human."

  You glanced at him. "Are you really him? Are you really the Doctor?"

  "I already said I am." He said a tad harsh, making you flinched. "Get some rest. We will talk again once you refresh." He left the room.

  You watched him go and wonder if he hates you now. Well he has every reason to hate you, after all, you did kill his previous self.

  7777

  Amy and Rory are wary around you and you can't blame them. But they did filled you in about what happened that day.

  You were saddened when you found out they lost their baby and surprised at the revelation that River is actually Melody.

  The Ponds also have hard time accepting the new Doctor. He is so different from his previous self. For once, he claimed he now ban hugging. 

  River visited the Tardis via vortex manipulator and went to talk to the Doctor, flashing you a kind smile as she saw you.

  You followed her and eavesdrop on her conversation with the Doctor something about your brainwave pattern.

  The Doctor suddenly opened the door and pulled you inside. You nearly stumbled if not for his firm grip.

  "Doctor." River warned. "Be gentle."

  They explained that someone hacked your brainwave pattern causing you to do thing you normally would not do. He wants to inject you with some chip so that he can always monitor your brainwave pattern at all times and isolates whatever cause you to turn against the Doctor.

  You agreed because you don't want to put anyone else in danger. But you got the sense that this Doctor doesn't take no for an answer from you right now.

  "I don't understand how can someone hack into my brain like that? I think I would know if someone did something to me."

  "Would you? Even Amy herself has no idea she was kidnapped for so long..." River said.

  "Are you telling me that I am a ganger too?" You asked.

  "I think someone did something to you sometimes after the Ponds' wedding."

  "I would know, wouldn't I?" You asked brokenly. "How can someone mess with my mind like this and I have no idea? How can they made me hurt the D...hurt you? How can they make me a killer without my knowledge?"

  River glanced at you sympathetically. She knew how it feels to have no control over mind and body.

  The Doctor exhaled. "I have no idea. But I will find out. And when I do, I will make them pay for whatever they did to you." He said as he glanced at you. "That is a promise."

  7777

  You weren't coping well with the fact that you have taken the Doctor's life despite him able to escape death by regenerating.

  Despite the Doctor's promise to find whoever did this to you, he is mostly busy hunting down Kovarian. You can hardly begrudging the fact once again you are not his first priority. Melody is still need rescuing after all. And you prayed that they will find her soon. Even if apparently Melody will turned out okay as she will become River.

  River had told the Doctor to be discreet so that Kovarian will never find out that he has regenerated already.

  Everyone is still talking about Lake Silencio and the fact the Doctor died there in his eleventh form. 

  River had the idea of using the Doctor's ganger from their time at St.John's Base to trick the silence.

  And that is how you found yourself face to face with a ghost.

  Amy is happy to reunite with the ganger Doctor especially since he has the face of the raggedy man she knew and loved.

  You were happy too but mostly you are afraid of his reaction upon finding out that you had killed the Doctor that has the same face as him. So, you mostly keep your distance.

  You were hiding from both Doctors somewhere in the Tardis but the ganger Doctor somehow able to find you.

  "So, this is where you have been hiding..." He murmured as he glanced down at you who were sitting on the floor with a book.

  You glanced up at him. "Yeah, well, I can't find a hole to bury myself under so..."

  He sighed as he took a seat on the floor beside you. "It wasn't your fault..."

  You didn't bother replying to that statement because you didn't believe it.

  The ganger Doctor sat beside you, no words are exchanged. He glanced at you with sorrow in his eyes, making you unable to ignore with him or focus on your own book.

  "What?"

  "(name), you are forgiven, always and completely." He said as he hold one of your hands.

  "I thought that you said it wasn't my fault."

  "It is not your fault. But it seemed to me that you need to have forgiveness. So, I'm telling you now..." 

  You felt your face gotten hot as tears threaten to fell on your cheeks. "I wish he said it. Because the one I did wrong to is him."

  "He probably think you know that it wasn't your fault and that there is nothing to forgive." 

  "How can you be sure? He is no longer the same as you. He has different opinions for everything now."

  "He is still me, still the Doctor, just slightly different." He said. "Though that rules of him, of no hugging is rubbish."

  You chuckled at that.

  He beamed, satisfied being able to make you laugh a little.

  7777

  The presence of the ganger Doctor lessen your guilt a bit. You could almost lied to yourself that he is the Doctor that you lost. 

  And then you learned of what the Doctor and River planned for the ganger Doctor. They wanted him to take the Doctor's place to die in Lake Silencio.

  "Will he survive it?" You asked. You don't want to lose him. The first time is hard enough, you don't think you can handle it.

  No one answered you.

  You shook your head. "You can't just sacrifice him."

  "We have no choice. If we didn't the paradox will destroy half of the world... It was a fixed point in time. The Doctor dies at Lake Silencio."

  You glared at the Doctor. "You said all life matters. Are you saying ganger don't matter now?"

  "(name)..." River spoke up.

  "It isn't fair!" You yelled at them.

  The twelfth Doctor scoffed at you. "Life is never fair. If it is not because of you, I would still be in my previous form and I would be the one who die on that lake. Instead I died in the hand of a so called friend. Stab multiply times actually."

  "Doctor!!" River warned him with a glare at his harshness.

  You felt like you were being slapped. You glanced at his face, trying to hold back your tears. You left the room without a word.

  The ganger Doctor glared at the Doctor. "I sometimes forgot how stupid I can be..." He said coldly at the original. He turned to look after you.

  7777

  In order to trick Kovarian and the silence, the ganger Doctor has to take the Doctor's place and continue his merry way having adventures with his companions.

  You and Amy honestly loves it, it was like having the real him back. It was apparent that you both has a hard time getting along with the new Doctor.

  You reluctantly said your goodbye once again with the ganger Doctor as the time come for him to go to the Lake Silencio. Was it always been the ganger Doctor then who died at the beginning?

  You never able to mend your relationship with the new Doctor. He is just too cold, too unapproachable. 

  You wanted to leave. What was the point of staying when he doesn't even want you around? But he won't let you leave until he solve your brainwave pattern.

  He noticed that your brain chemicals seemed unbalance, making you get stressed out. He prescribed you with drug to combat it.

  But honestly you felt toxic. You didn't think you could stay with him in his Tardis or having adventures. You simply no longer have the energy for it.  You were done with the Doctor.

  River had begged you to stay. "Remember what I said at Stormcage, to hold on the Doctor? I need you to do that right now."

  "He doesn't need me. He has you, Amy and Rory. Why would he want me around, his killer?"

  River revealed that she is also the Doctor's killer. She told you that she is the person behind the spacesuit at Lake Silencio. She told you how she was born and raised to kill the Doctor. She said she understood you for she too has no control over her body when she shot the Doctor back then. And yet the Doctor forgives her.

  You were surprised. If what she said is true, then it makes sense why she seemed to have soft spot for you. But that is also meant she always knew that you will ended up killing the Doctor and she didn't say anything or try to stop it. You were a bit upset at her for that.

  "I can't interfere. Like I said, your future is my past. I can't change anything." River said. "No matter how much I want to."

  7777

  The Doctor glanced at your brainwave pattern at the monitor in the console room. He exhaled. He still has no idea how to fix you. Deep inside he was enraged at whoever screw you up just to get to him.

  He suspected it was Kovarian's scheme too at first but if it was really her, she would know by now that the Doctor has regenerated. It seemed his lies back in Lake Silencio worked out. 

  But he does think about the prophecy Dorium talked, something regarding Trenzalore. Has that prophecy become invalid then? As it spoke of the fall of the Eleventh and he has actually regenerated into his Twelfth form.

  He recalled his conversation with his ganger version. He had warned him to get his bearing together or he will end up losing you and the Ponds.

  Sometimes the Doctor wonder if he is still the Doctor. He felt disconnected from his usual Doctor persona.

  7777

  Following the ganger Doctor and River's advice, you tried to talk to the Doctor but it just hard. He made it hard. He is so stern and cold unlike his past version.

  You talked to Amy and Rory about it and they both agreed to try to bond with the new Doctor as best as they can. After all the Doctor is a dear friend. They have to try to reconnect with him. He is worth the effort.

  It was Amy that is able to break through the ice around the Doctor. You frowned as you saw Amy hugged him despite his protests. They were arguing before but Amy is able to get through him.

  You were jealous. No matter which Doctor, they always prefer Amy over you.

  The Tardis currently landed in Cardiff for refuel. You got out of the Tardis in daze with tears in your eyes. You walked for how long until you found yourself seated on a bench. 

  You snapped out of your daze when your smartphone is ringing. The contact 'Home' displayed on the screen. You received the call and everything turned black.

  7777

  "You are awake." A computer-generated voice called out to you.

  You jerked awake in confusion as you took in your new surrounding. 

  There is a monitor on the wall with a screensaver of sort that spelled GI.

  "Petta, report on the Doctor." The voice said.

  You were confused. Who is Petta?

  The voice repeated the command.

  "It won't work." The Doctor replied suddenly.

  You turned toward the Doctor in confusion but he paid you no mind as he glanced at the monitor.

  "Intruder alert. Intruder alert." The voice sounded an alarm.

  The Doctor look bored. "Don't bother. My friends has this base of yours surrounded by now." He said. "GI...right? Great Intelligence? Not that smart eh? Why don't you scan her?"

  You were scared now. "Doctor, what is going on?"

  A ray of light suddenly scanned you and the voice replied in monotone voice, "Non-human detected. Analysis showed a flesh ganger."

  You felt like you are being slapped. You are a ganger? "Doctor!!" You yelled at him.

  He finally turned to you. He walked toward you and touched the side of your forehead and a flashback memory assaulted your sense.

  You were back at the Demons Run watching yourself just after you found the Doctor's bloodied form. You watched as the you of that time frantically trying to call for help and then noticing the bloody knife on your hands. You had screamed as the realization of what you have done come over you. You watched yourself sobbed in despair and then you stabbed yourself.

  You gasped and jerked away from the vision. You don't remember doing that last part.

  You heard the Doctor is explaining to the Great Intelligence how his plan to get you to kill him failed and what he did to save you.

  The Doctor has just regenerated and the first thing he saw was your dying self. Despite still out of sort, he knew what he has to do. He managed to save you and then he put you inside the flesh technology on the lab at Demons Run.

  Your flesh self actually is somewhat free from whatever virus infecting your original self. The Great Intelligence had apparenty brainwash your original self to kill the Doctor and then yourself. With how they messed with your brain chemical, it was easy to make yourself commit suicide afterward.

  But the GI didn't count on the Doctor regenerating and able to save you. The Doctor had made a flesh ganger of you and set you as a bait to trap the GI to show itself.  The chip inside you is also serve as a tracker. That is how the Doctor is able to get here as fast as he is.

  The Doctor demanded that the GI undo what it has done to your original self. 

  The GI had laughed in that grating computer voice of it. The monitor show the sims-like man cartoon of an old man with sinister face, mocking the Doctor for his inability to fully save you.

  "The reason you made a copy of flesh ganger is because you know Petta will obey me and when she woke up to find you alive, she will have no choice but to kill you again and then herself." The GI grinned. 

  The Doctor look very cross but didn't deny the GI's claim. He started threatening the GI in his fury of the oncoming storm.

  You froze, still stuck on the loop of what the GI had said about your original self.

  Despite his carefully constructed plan, the GI had managed to escape from the Doctor's grasp albeit wounded through the computer virus the Doctor uploaded.

  The Doctor has no idea what even the GI is but he will not rest until he recapture him. He turned to look at you.

  "Does everyone but me know that I am not real?" You asked.

  The Doctor didn't reply at first but he eventually nodded.

  "Did the ganger Doctor also know?"

  The Doctor nodded again.

  You snorted. "So, everyone know and lie to me about it all."

  The Doctor didn't say anything.

  "Where is my real body then? Inside the Tardis, yeah? Where?" You asked him.

  "Does it matter?"

  "Where is my true body, Doctor?!" You screamed at him.

  7777

  It makes sense now. Amy and Rory were not wary of you. That was pity for you, of being the one in the dark, out of the loop. Everyone kindness was just a lie.

  You glanced at your original self lying weakly on the bed. Your life is still on the line it seemed. You often spend your time staring at yourself which probably isn't healthy but who cares?

  You made your way to the machine that held a life support system and considering to terminate it. 

  "Step away from it, (name)." You heard the Doctor's demand.

  "Why? Do you think this is what we want? Do you think we could live with it after being a killer?"

  "I am here. You are not a killer. And I will fix you."

  "And then what? You will erased my memory of the truth?"

  The Doctor didn't reply but something on his expression convinced you that it was indeed his plan.

  You scoffed in disbelief.

  "Why does it matter? Didn't my ganger self had told you already that you are forgiven?"

  "Even if you could, do you really think I could forgive myself? I will always be a threat to you!"

  "I swear to you no matter how long, no matter what, I will find a way to fix you. You can live a normal life." The Doctor pleaded. "Just don't do this. Don't throw it all away."

  "I'm sorry, Doctor."

  "I'm sorry too, (name)." The Doctor pointed his sonic screwdriver at you, much to your shock, and vaporizing you.

  The Doctor stepped toward the bed, staring at you with sorrow. "I will protect you, (name), even from yourself."

       A/N: As usual I ended up writing different from what I've planned and it probably not gonna making any sense again. Honestly, I always ended up not finishing my stories but not on purpose, mostly because i have no idea how to fill in the blank. i'm really bad at this. But writing when I have the boost for it is fun so I hope you have fun reading this too. Please leave comments if you like this. Take care of yourself, stay safe.

[samdeancass]

Fandom List

These are the fandoms and characters that I write for. Fandoms and characters with a line through means I am currently watching the show or movie and I will be writing for them shortly.

I will be adding to this list overtime so it will get bigger as I watch more shows and movies.

If you want to make a request, please write the full name as some fandoms have characters with similar names.

Prompt List

Supernatural

Dean Winchester

Sam Winchester

John Winchester

Castiel

Jack Kline

Crowley

Gabriel

Benny LaFitte

Lucifer

Adam Milligan

Kevin Tran

Arthur Ketch

Actors

Jensen Ackles

Jared Padalecki

Misha Collins

Alexander Calvert

The Vampire Diaries

Damon Salvatore

Stefan Salvatore

Lorenzo St.John

Kai Parker

Elena Gilbert

Bonnie Bennett

Caroline Forbes

Jeremy Gilbert

Tyler Lockwood

Matt Donovan

Actors

Paul Wesley

Iam Sommerhalder

Michael Malarkey 

The Originals

Klaus Mikaelson

Elijah Mikaelson

Rebekah Mikaelson

Kol Mikaelson

Hayley Marshall-Kenner

Actors

Joseph Morgan

Daniel Gillies

Legacies

Alaric Saltzman

Hope Mikaelson

Landon Kirby

Lizzie Saltzman

Josie Saltzman

MG

Rafael

Sebastian

Teen Wolf

Scott McCall

Stiles Stilinski

Derek Hale

Isaac Lahey

Liam Dunbar

Theo Raeken

Jackson Whittemore

Jordan Parrish

Lydia Martin

Peter Hale

Allison Argent

Malia Tate

Actors

Tyler Posey

Dylan O’Brian

Tyler Hoechlin

Holland Roden

Crystal Reed

Daniel Sharman

The Walking Dead

Rick Grimes

Daryl Dixon

Glenn Rhee

Abraham

Negan

Carl Grimes

Marvel /MCU

Tony Stark/ Iron Man

Steve Rogers/ Captain America

Clint Barton/ Hawkeye

Thor Odinson

Bruce Banner/ The Hulk

Natasha Romanoff/ Black Widow

Bucky Barnes/ The Winter Soldier

Loki Laufeyson

Stephen Strange/ Doctor Strange

T’Challa/ Black Panther

Peter Parker/ Spider-Man

Peter Quill/ Star Lord

Pietro Maximoff/ Quicksilver

Wanda Maximoff/ Scarlet Witch

Vision

Sam Wilson/ Falcon

Carol Danvers/ Captain Marvel

Scott Lang/ Ant-Man

Actors

Robert Downey. Jr

Chris Evans

Chris Hemsworth

Jeremy Renner

Scarlett Johansson

Tom Hiddleston

Tom Holland

Sebastian Stan

X-Men Universe

Charles Xavier (Younger)/ Professor X

Erik Lensherr (Younger)/ Magneto

Jean Grey/ Phoenix

Scott Summers/ Cyclops

Storm

Logan/ Wolverine

DC Cinematic

Clark Kent

Bruce Wayne

Arthur Curry

Harley Quinn

Arrow

Oliver Queen

Tommy Merlyn

John Diggle

Roy Harper

Felicity Smoake

Harry Potter

Harry Potter

Ron Weasley

Draco Malfoy

Sirius Black

Hermione Granger

Stranger Things

Steve Harrington

Jonathan Byers

Nancy Wheeler

Billy Hargrove

Eddie Munson

Actors

Joe Keery

Riverdale

Archie Andrews

Jughead Jones

Elizabeth Cooper

Veronica Lodge

Once Upon A Time

Hook

Prince Charming

Rumplestiltskin

Emma Swan

Regina Mills

Lucifer

Lucifer Morningstar

Brooklyn 99

Jake Peralta

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D

Phil Coulson

Leo Fitz

Grant Ward

Deke Shaw

Melinda May

Daisy Johnson

Jemma Simmons

Walker

Cordell Walker

Liam Walker

Pretty Little Liars

Caleb Rivers

Toby Cavanaugh

Ezra Fitz

Mike Montgomery

F. R. I. E. N. D. S

Joey Tribbiani

Chandler Bing

Ross Geller

Friday Night Dinner

Adam Goodman

Johnathan Goodman

Ben 10

Ben Tennyson

Kevin Levin

Gwen Tennyson

The Maze Runner

Thomas

Minho

Newt

Fantastic Four

Johnny Storm

Reed Richards

Percy Jackson

Percy Jackson

Luke Castellan

Twilight

Edward Cullen

Jacob Black

Emmett Cullen

Jasper Hale

Kingsman

Eggsy Unwin

One Direction

Harry Styles

Liam Payne

Louis Tomlinson

Niall Horan

Zayn Malik

WandaVision

Wanda Maximoff

Vision

Falcon and The Winter Soldier

Sam Wilson

Bucky Barnes

Baron Zemo

Loki

Loki Laufeyson

Sylvie

Black Widow

Natasha Romanoff

Yelena Belova

Cobra Kai

Daniel LaRusso

Johnny Lawrence

Miguel Diaz

Robby Keene

Love And Monsters

Joel Dawson

Fast and Furious 

Dominic Toretto

Brian O’Connor

Deckard Shaw

Luke Hobbs

Han Lue

Roman Pearce

Tej Parker

That 70′s Show

Eric Forman

Jackie Burkhart

Michael Kelso

Steven Hyde

Donna Pinciotti 

Fez

Sherlock Holmes (Movies)

Sherlock Holmes

John Watson

Scream (TV Series)

Emma Duval

Brooke Maddox

Audrey Jensen

Kieran Wilcox

Noah Foster

Free Guy

Walter ‘Keys’ McKeys

Pirates of the Caribbean

Jack Sparrow

William Turner

The Flash

Barry Allen

Iris West-Allen

Caitlyn Snow

Frost

Cisco Ramone

HR Wells

Wally West

Harry Wells

Ralph Dibney

Harrison ‘Nash’ Wells

Chester P. Runk

The Boys

Homelander

Billy Butcher

Hughie Campbell

A-Train

[madi2112]

Go hiking with me! Part 1

Since physical ailments have put a damper on my golf game I've really began to embrace longer and longer hiking trips.

"Madi's Meanderings" covers some of those but I've decided to feature future hikes in this separate entry.

Why?

Because it's my page and I can! LOL

So without further fanfair:

The trail:

Today was the just over 7 mile Black Bear Wilderness trail in Sanford Florida.

The trail had lots of exposed large tree roots meaning looking down was often a priority. Which makes it difficult to observe the scenery.

The portion along the St.Johns river was nice with boardwalks occasionally jutting out over the water.

No bug issues or mud and even the temperature was manageable.

The wildlife:

Not a lot of sighting today.

Heard a couple of hawks chatting amongst themselves in the treetops. Must have startled a sunbathing alligator because his rather large tail made a large splash as it swam away quickly.

The most notable sighting was of a few wild pigs. Something I hadn't encountered. Until now. I'm sure running into hikers was common place for them as they virtually ignored me.

The stats:

From my AllTrails app.

Over all it was a nice hike. Rather typical of Florida

~Madison