#ssself

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Charts and Graphs

Clive Barker: hey guys you hear that Imane Khelif won the gold medal at the Paris Olympics Poe: ah very cool Barker: so where's joanne Barker: is she here tonight Barker: ha ha Poe: clive Barker: cuz i just want to haha talk Poe: clive don't be an instigator

Barker: hey joanne ha ha so did you hear the news Barker: imane khelif won JK Rowling: what?? how can thisss be?? Rowling: how can they allow this over the objectionsss of the worldssss richessst ssself-taught authority on gender??? Rowling: truly the sssysstem really iss broken

Rowling: you know, i never ssaid khelif wass transs Rowling: i merely ssaid khelif wass a man ssecretly possing as a woman to win a ssporting competition in the vein of a raunchy 1980s PG-13 comedy ssex romp like "Just One of the Guys" (1985) or "Just One of the Girls" (1993)

Rowling: in fact, i never accussed anyone of being transs Rowling: i merely believe that every living human being iss ssecretly the oppossite gender of the one that they purport to be Rowling: except for me Rowling: I am legend!

Rowling: thosse of you who claim to be men are obvioussly women Rowling: thosse of you who claim to be women are obvioussly men Rowling: except for those of you who claim to be transs, you actually ARE your birth gender Rowling: i mean, your purported birth gender

Rowling: i've prepared a series of chartsss and graphsss to explain the new theory of gender Rowling: itss become more involved ssince i decided vaginass aren't destiny King: they're not? Rowling: well they were but then it turned out sssome people i didn't like alssso had them

Barker: hey i got a question Rowling: is it about my new gender heurissstic Barker: yes Rowling: proceed Barker: why do UK bookstores all have The Gruffalo instead of harry potter now? Rowling: SSSS Rowling: THAT'SSS NOT A GENDER QUESTION!!! Rowling: YOU TRICKED ME!!

Rowling: i should have expected that from you, barker!! Rowling: jussst like a man!! Rowling: or rather Rowling: [consulting phrenology chart] you have the sloping brow and narrow cranium of a secret woman!!!

Barker: sure joanne whatever you say Rowling: he admits to being a woman!!! Rowling: which means he's actually a man! Poe: joanne calm down Rowling: DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN EDGAR! Rowling: or should i ssay Rowling: edgarina??!?!? Poe: that's not even a real name

[ssstupid-sssnake]

new oc becaussse i have no ssself-control

ssshe hasss a ssson too :}

[optimusprime3000]

Pitaya: Good newsss, I prevented a murder today.

Hollyberry: Really? How’d you do it?

Pitaya: Ssself-control.

[wyldblunt]

okay finally getting past where i left off in lws4 and . this is so so bad for glyn. it's bad for everyone but i cannot Believe that literally the next story step that i left hanging for months and months feels laser targeted to a bunch of stuff i wrote into glyn's backstory right before actually playing it. he's on the floor convulsing

(youre gonna look him in the eye and say 'vlast failed bc he didn't have a champion'?????? rn?????? in front of everybody????????????)

(also "well looks like we gotta go into the mists [shrug]" HARD CUT TO GLYNDWR WHO, for the past few months, has been addicted to diving into the mists and looking around at alternate timeline versions of himself to try to find a reality where vlast lives and HE DOES FIND THAT GUY but unfortunately 1. merrit is dead in that timeline, 2. canach is also dead in that timeline, 3. champion-of-vlast!glyndwr SPOTS HIM, finds out HIS merrit is alive, and in the ensuing desperate malicious struggle glyn has to Kill Him(ssself?) to protect his son + home reality from him(sssself?), thus dooming CoV!glyndwr's timeline, and after that he swore off going in there anymore? okay. okay)

[earl-of-lemongrab-the-first]

Do you know what drawing is? Do you like it?

mmnnnyess yess I dooo know of drawing. Mmmy skills are IMPECCABLE. OBSERVE

SSSELF PORTRAIT AT ITS FFFINEST!!!

[sanguine-salvation]

Slurred words? [if you're still accepting]

“Hmmmmmm,” it’s a bit hard to tell if that’s truly a ‘hmm’ or an actual growl. “Oszwald is certainly… a man. Let me… hold on...” they take in a very thoughtful breath, tap the glass to their lip again— a sound alerting that they hit their teeth at least once, although they don’t seem to notice— then resume. “He’sz a cheater, a rotten little beaszt, all the money in the world, and he had to have more! He musst be so sad, so scared, so ssself-important, all that running from the inevitable, I… pity him!” They thud their cup down a little too hard, enough to make them pause awkwardly.

“… Ahem, I don’t hate him, maybe I apprecshiate him. In a… way. But his presence in my presence makes my blood prezhssure rise. Understand? But I owe him for my… purposze, don’t I? I could mmake it quick, paint him red, free him… or let him sit in what he chaszes after. Hmm… ugh,” they quirk their lip and finish their drink in comparatively gentle contemplation. “Maybe I shhould let fate decide again, take him up on hisz… offer. But I will come for him… eventually. I always do…”

[knavestrolls]

what kind of 'horrors' will she have to go through?

The sssseparation of ssself.

Itssss dangerousssss, and not fully guaranteed either...

But we need to tear our dear Koi away, ssso Tokoki may thrive.......

[amateurmasksmith]

Remy: Girl, you look awful. What's wrong? Janus: ...Nothing. Remy: *glares* Janus: *attempts to glare back, yawns* Remy: Thought so. *sits up* Try again. Janus: I told you, nothing'ss wrong. Remus is just ...being his 'normal,' unrelenting, chaotic ssself. Remy: ...Yuh-huh. Y'know that self-care competition y'all had? Janus: It wasn't- Remy: -Nah, shut- When was the last time you gave yourself one of those? Janus: *glares* Remy: Hell, when was the last time you slept? Janus: Lasst night. Remy: Uninterrupted? Janus: ... Remy: Yeah, no. *pounds on the wall* Yo, Rocket - Let's go! Remus: *scrambling racoon noises* Remy: I'll keep him busy - you go catch some Zs. Janus: I hate you. Remy: Hate you too, babes. *flips Jan off as he and Remus sink out* Don't wait up! Janus: *flips Remy off, sighs, shuffles off to bed*

i think Remy is friends with the creativitwins, and if they hang out too much thomas gets really vivid dreams/nightmares.

but i also don't think that makes any sense.

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Raw Deal

[mysterious circle of robed figures] JK Rowling: hello children Rowling: i've just learned ssssome disssturbing newsss Rowling: from a reputable sssource Rowling: a random nazi on twitter Rowling: but Rowling: i really really REALLY want it to be true

Rowling: did you know Rowling: that puberty blockers deaden a childsss sssoul? Rowling: a transss child is literally an inhuman shell Kathleen Stock: wow! like a monster! Rowling: yesss Rowling: exactly like a monster Rowling: think about it

Rowling: what i'm sssaying is that trans kids are bassically monsssterss Stock: what about those trans kids who keep saying that gender affirming care is life saving? Rowling: well Rowling: a monssster would lie wouldn't it?

Rowling: now then we all know what to do about monssstersss don't we Stock: yeah! kill them! Rowling: i meant deny them the ussse of magical wandsss as per Claussse Three of the Code of Wand Ussssse Rowling: but alssso yess kill them

Rowling: friendss the time hasss come Rowling: we mussst kill thessse children in order to sssave them Rowling: sssave them from the living death that is ssself-determination!

[meanwhile] Dan Simmons: so i heard some wokies thought frankenstein got a raw deal Mary Shelley: Simmons: like haha! Stupid commies, having sympathy for a monster! Simmons: i mean, he's literally a monster! Shelley: does no one here know how to read

Mary Shelley: the whole point of the fuckin book was that frankenstein got a raw deal Simmons: sounds like cultural marxism to me Shelley: [stabbing Simmons] does anyone ELSE here not know how to read? Rowling: [unfurling from bushes] me, i don't

[ardentguilt]

~~~Holy ssshit, Vin you're ssso cuuute!!! I mean I alwaysss thought you were hot but your younger ssself isss ssso adorkable~!!!~~~

“Ok a few things. Firstly I’m not cute, cute is for wrigglers and I’m not a wriggler. Secondly you thought I was hot? And finally can you get me takeout? I can’t reach my cash.”

[feminaexlux]

5 Minutes

Part 2 of Miraculous Leap

Btw I'm heavily referencing We Have a Problem by @verfound 'cuz I can take partial ownership of Dewey hehehe. Ages are fudged around for convenience

AO3 link

⁂

As soon as he left the bedroom and was out of sight Luka felt his knees start to buckle and he let himself slump to the floor. Hopefully she didn't hear that. A minute ago he'd been reaching for his bracelet to set Second Chance but then Ladybug collided into him and they were sent tumbling to the ground. When he had opened his eyes he found…

He was almost dead certain that it was Marinette propping herself up over him. Even if she looked older he wouldn't have mistaken those eyes for anyone else's. Those eyes looked as surprised as he was. While she had moved over to his side to sit up he had taken a quick scan of the room and of her. She looked… very curvy? … And pregnant. It was incredibly… well. There'd been a mix of feelings he couldn't put words to.

But the room? Deep down inside, he had an odd sense of being at home. And as he took some deep, meditative breaths to control his heartrate he knew whatever this was, it wasn't a dream. It had too much… certainty and realness to it.

Marinette was looking panicked, so he had offered to get some water. He needed some water himself. He also needed to leave the room so he could freak out in private and not upset her any more than she was already, and that was why he was more or less faceplanted on the floor out of view right now.

What was the akuma? It had some ability to see the future, which was why Viperion was called out to help Ladybug and Chat Noir in the first place. No one on the Miraculous team had known that it had the power to send people into the future, however. Luka was sure that was what had happened. Ladybug and Viperion got hit with the akuma's blast and… now Marinette and Luka were here, in their future. ONE future, he should say.

It wasn't necessarily set in stone. Luka knew how much could change in just 5 minutes.

He knew Marinette was Ladybug. Marinette might try to convince him she wasn't Ladybug if it ever came up. He'd have to roll with it and make her as comfortable as he could. Or maybe he could steer the conversation away from that in the first place. She might never call on him to be Viperion again if he told her that he knew and had known for a while.

Because even if Marinette had always looked over Luka for Adrien, Luka wanted to spend whatever time he could with her, in her super Miraculous suit or in her normal everyday clothes.

He got back up on his feet and sighed to himself, looking into the different rooms he passed as he meandered his way blindly toward a kitchen. There were a few rooms that had been for kids, he thought. He walked by what looked like Marinette's crafting workshop, full of partially dressed mannequins and half-finished projects and colorful children's drawings. A hallway he passed through was full of pictures of kids he didn't recognize, but they all had a strong familiarity.

Probably because they were his kids. His and Marinette's. He could hardly believe it, but his older self and Marinette's older self were there throughout most of the pictures too.

One thing caught his attention outside of the kids' pictures: a flatscreen in a large ornate frame playing a soundless video in the center of the hallway wall. It was of him and Marinette on what looked like their wedding day. He had swept her up off her feet in her wedding dress and she had her arms wrapped around his shoulders. She had been laughing and then had leaned in to kiss him.

Luka watched that replay a few times. They looked happy. He hoped that future Marinette didn't have any regrets.

After the replays he realized that they didn't look that old in the clip. Well, not much older than they were… now? Before the akuma? Definitely not teenagers anymore, but not more than a few years after they both left their teens.

So how did he manage to get all this? What happened that let Marinette finally see him? Did his future self leave any hints?

Last he knew of anything, Marinette had come back to the Liberty from her class' New York trip and admitted to the GirlSquad™️ (while Luka was within earshot) that she was still in love with Adrien. "I-I mean there's plenty of reasons to love him… he's so cute and talented and smart and--and… and I think everyone keeps saying we were made for each other but… but it's so hard," Marinette had groaned. "Why is it so hard?"

Luka had made his presence known so he wouldn't be unintentionally eavesdropping something he wasn't supposed to. Any more than was already said, anyway. He had started to leave when Rose stopped him then. "Luka! You're a boy! You know what boys think! What do you think is going on with Adrien?"

Luka had laughed and said he didn't know. "What I know is that it isn't supposed to be easy. It's something you have to keep working on. But it's supposed to lift you up and make you feel stronger." He then left the girls in their plotting/scheming/arguing to lounge back in his room. He had been surprised when a few minutes later Marinette came to join him.

"It doesn't make me feel stronger. I just feel dumb," Marinette said then, quietly. He had let her stay with him while he played random songs on his guitar, trying to cheer her up. She had finally started smiling again when he played her song, except with a little bit more flare and bubblegum pop. It was what he heard in his head when she was happy. "Thank you. You know, I feel less dumb being here with you."

He finally reached something like a kitchen. It'd been huge and there were clear boxy canisters of different types of flours and sugars and mix-ins… He saw a high end mixer and maybe 30 different types of baking sheets. Looked like Marinette still put her baking knowledge to use.

Alright enough being distracted, he shouldn't leave Marinette alone too long. He grabbed two clean glasses and got water from the fridge's built in dispenser and headed back the way he came.

"I brought some water for you." He was a little worried when he saw her on the floor. He had no idea what it was like being pregnant but it couldn't have been easy… "Hey, are you doing okay?"

Marinette took the water gratefully. "I don't know… Are… are you Luka Couffaine?" He nodded. "Huh, just a few minutes ago I was 14, and now it looks like I'm 34. And your wife."

There was something to her voice… she wasn't horrified, which was good news. There'd still been some confusion, maybe? And a little disbelief. That was as much as could be expected from Marinette, Luka supposed.

He was pretty sure she was Marinette, but it would be all kinds of messed up if he just found someone who looked a lot like her. It'd been her art, her designs, her baking… right? No one else could just… be all that she was. He had to be sure. "Are you Marinette?"

She looked up at him with her light blue eyes. It had to be Marinette. There'd been a wave of relief that washed over him when she nodded.

"I think this is our future," she said.

⁂

(Meanwhile…)

Luka blinked and… all of a sudden his wife had a Ladybug mask on. He hadn't seen that on her for months now (he had the Ladybug Miraculous since she was pregnant) which was the first clue that something had rudely interrupted them. He groaned internally and tried to mentally ping Sass or Tikki to see if there was anything to worry about. Marinette looked as bewildered as he was. He took her shoulders and gently pressed them both up to sitting.

Okay, well, she was… she was definitely not pregnant and therefore not his Marinette. Then he noticed he was suited up as Viperion. Ah, it ssseemsss you have been… regressssed, Massster, Sass said in his head. God, Marinette looked… what, 15? And Sass hadn't called him "Master" in forever.

Do you know what happened? Luka asked Sass.

There is an akuma who controlsss time. Well, of course. Their power has ssswapped you with your younger ssself, Sass answered.

Luka had to stop himself from laughing. His younger self was in for one hell of a surprise. That aside, he had to check on this Marinette. "Hey, are you okay?"

Ladybug looked up at him and brushed through his hair with her fingers. "Viperion? Your hair… It's so short…? Wait… wait wh--where's…" She looked down at herself and patted her stomach. "D-D-Dew--"

Oh, Dewey. Viperion pulled Ladybug in for a hug as she started crying. She was his Marinette and… and their son was in the future, not here with them. "He's alright. He's waiting for us. We're somehow in the past, but we'll get back home."

Well, shit, that meant that the younger Marinette was in the future as well.

"I-I-I thought I had l-lost him," Ladybug said quietly, her voice breaking.

"Hey… guys…" Chat said awkwardly after landing nearby. "Milady! What's wrong?!"

Right. Chat Noir. At 15. This was going to be annoying as fuck.

[ask-stranded-sides]

We're watching out for him as best we can, Liar. But... Well, the Salamander made it sound like she left Empathy /because/ he was "corrupted". She said someone looking like Virgil "changed" him, and he was no longer hers to guard. When we talked him down and he found himself as Empathy again she returned. I /know/ none of that was Virgil's fault, I know he's not bad, but I think he's worrying that this is his fault. He's worried that part of him is toxic.

But I promise, we're trying to keep Self-Care safe.

Liar winces and ducks under the brush, trying to cool off more as well and thankfully the forest floor is cooler. But he is worried.

Liar: "If the guardian abandonssss their charge becaussssse they are corrupted then.... ssself-care could be..... You musssst get him away from the otherssss."

[the-edgy-enby-shitposter]

Hi random pinned post I guess um go check out my other blogs if you wanna-

@the-edgy-enby-shitposter: this blog, also my main blog, for shitposting and random reblogs (think biggest-gaudiest-patronuses but slightly less cursed (sometimes) and absolutely NO big-brain moments or Grinch x Tony fics), asks and submissions open

@the-edgy-enby-artist: art blog, asks and submissions open !!Note: currently taking requests!!

@ts-cryptid-au: an unfinished Sanders Sides AU blog where the sides are cryptids, asks and submissions open

@alexander-not-your-hamilson, @an-anxious-bitch, @ssself-care-bitchesss, @the-intrusive-creativithot, @pattonthecatton, @loganhill, @coffeeeslutt, @yourcartoonytherapist, @stayathomo24: character-run blogs for my Sanders Sides cryptid AU, asks and submissions open

@edgy-enby-ocs: blog for me to rant about my OCs if you’re interested in that for some reason idk why you would be- asks and submissions open

@agere-edgy-enby: random blog for when I’m age regressed, asks and submissions open

@ask-those-demigods: an askblog for the Riordanverse characters that needs a lot more interaction please- you can ask the characters directly, asks and submissions open

@hyperfixated-image-ids: a blog for writing image, video, and gif IDs for posts that don’t already have them, asks and submissions open

[dayshines]

Here are some neopronouns based on random noises:

Feel free to modify the sets how you want, and if you have any ideas feel free to comment!! /g

(kinda long)

[other pronoun list I've made]

aa/aa/aas/aas/aaself

ap/ap/aps/aps/apself

aw/aw/aws/aws/awself

ba/ba/bas/bas/baself

ba(m)/bam/bams/bams/bamself

boo/boo/boos/boos/booself

bop/bop/bops/bops/bopself

bu/bu/bus/bus/buself

bzz/bzz/bzzs/bzzs/bzzself

c/c/cs/cs/cself

ca/ca/cas/cas/caself

ca(w)/caw/caws/caws/cawself

choo(p)/choop/choops/choops/choopself

di(ng)/ding/dings/dings/dingself

do/do/dos/dos/doself

doo(p)/doop/doops/doops/doopself

fa/fa/fas/fas/faself

ff/ff/ffs/ffs/ffself

fx/fx/fxs/fxs/fxself

ie/ie/ies/ies/ieself

ing/ing/ings/ings/ingself

ip/ip/ips/ips/ipself

la/la/las/las/laself

me/me/mes/mes/meself

oo/ooup/ooups/ooups/ooupself

oo(v)/oov/oovs/oovs/oovself

op/op/ops/ops/opself

pop/pop/pops/pops/popself

re/re/res/res/reself

ri(ng)/ring/rings/rings/ringself

so/so/sos/sos/soself

ss/ss/sss/sss/ssself

ti/ti/tis/tis/tiself

vo/vo/vos/vos/voself

vo(op)/voop/voops/voops/voopself

vop/vop/vops/vops/vopself

vup/vup/vups/vups/vupself

vv/vv/vvs/vvs/vvself

woo(wo)/woowo/woowos/woowos/woowoself

wu/wu/wus/wus/wuself

wu(v)/wuv/wuvs/wuvs/wuvself

zap/zap/zaps/zaps/zapself

zi(ng)/zing/zings/zings/zingself

zi(p)/zip/zips/zips/zipself

zo/zo/zos/zos/zoself

zo(p)/zop/zops/zops/zopself

zr/zr/zrs/zrs/zrself

zz/zz/zzs/zzs/zzself

🎼/🎼/🎼s/🎼s/🎼self

🔔/🔔/🔔s/🔔s/🔔self

📣/📣/📣s/📣s/📣self

📻/📻/📻s/📻s/📻self

🎙/🎙/🎙s/🎙s/🎙self

❕/❕/❕s/❕s/❕self

❗️/❗️/❗️s/❗️s/❗️self

🎵/🎵/🎵s/🎵s/🎵self

🎶/🎶/🎶s/🎶s/🎶self

🗯/🗯/🗯s/🗯s/🗯self

[mewo-personal]

(also uhhhhhhhhhh I made a thing)

(but it's. Very uhhh. Ssself indulgent and embawwathing ÓwÒ/silly)

(YOU JUMPSCARED ME AGAIN.)

(anyway hiiii)

Hiyaaa !! :3

[lmanberg]

my ebblrsssona vsss my iiirl ssself,,, one iiisss a depresssed blonde man weariiing hoodiiiesss to hiiide mental ssscarsss and the other iiisss a red furry cat thiiing.

(sssorry iiif thiiisss iiisss too much, but iiim gay and transss and have trauma and. yeah)

Mine is legit just me with cool horns and wings lmao